#I want to enjoy the actual writing process again I'm tired of feeling stressed and that I have to finish it asap | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

inevitably-johnlocked · 2 years

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Steph!!! did you read the lost special: family matters (as do relationships) by @shirleycarlton ??? I just saw it recced in your 2021 bookmarks list and ?? does that mean you've read it??

if so I'm very excited because I know for a fact I've recced it to you (even tho I may not have been the first one doing so) uhhh don't remember when. late 2019 early 2020? maybe? anyways point is, I love that fic. it is still to this day my favourite (Sherlock) fix it, and I'm very happy you've read it. care to share some of your thoughts about it?

honestly I read it like uhh two years ago now and I have definitely lost interest in sherlock since but this fic still remains in a very special place in my heart. anyway, I hope you've enjoyed it as much as me, and thank you (again) for all your recs!

(referencing this post)

Hey Nonny!

Yes! I did finally read it when it was completed, just before I did the fandom hopping. I feel TERRIBLE because when I did start reading it, it was at the start of my prolonged period of massive stress from work and life in general. At the time I hadn't taken time off work since Feb 2021 (it was July), and I was the "go-to" person for everything at work, and I was working long LONG hours and felt no reprieve, and every time I tried to take time off, something always got in the way. THEN I got stuck working everyday all for 2 months, no break. I wasn't sleeping well because of the stress, AND to top it all off, I had a cancer, heart, and diabetes scare all around the same time. Oh yeah, and I broke my foot too. So yeah, I wasn't really on my A-Game.

Let me exaggerate here before I go into the following ramble: I LOVE THE FIC. I love the writing and the meta-style approach to story-telling, and I love the fix-it aspect of the story. And the length of it is generally what I can get through in a week or two.

However, because I made the mistake of reading this fic when my brain was having a REALLY difficult time processing ANYTHING, and it started feeling like a chore to read it; NOT on ANY fault of the author AT ALL. This was 110% all my doing.

As I mention in the referenced post, I tag while I read my Johnlock fics so that I can properly file the bookmarks onto the offline lists, and I think I just really underestimated how tired and beyond stressed I was while I was reading it. It wasn't just this fic either... after I finished it, I tried reading other Johnlock fics, and I GENUINELY could not process the stories enough to understand what was going on, and started getting grumpy about tagging the fics. This has NEVER happened to me before – I didn't know stress could affect you that much – and I was actually scared that I couldn't comprehend new stories anymore. I put those aside to try to read again this year. I've since re-read the fic while I've been off and yeah, I remember why I bookmarked it.

Even those fics I did bookmark in other fandoms, it was only after like 3 readings of them, but I also don't have to recall what lists I have to put stories on when I bookmark them so it made reading other fandoms... not feel like a job, you know? I dunno.

So yeah, that's the story of how I found out stress affects my reading comprehension, LOL. UGH. Kids, set boundaries with your day jobs, and also don't get a blood test nor break your bones while you're also stressed and running on 3 hours of sleep a day LOL.

I'm super grateful that my boss was really accommodating for me taking a month off work. This whole break has re-centred my brain, I love reading and tagging again and I am now super determined to get at least 50 Johnlock fics read this year :)

In all seriousness though, please do check out the fic, if you want a fantastic and twisty-turny rewrite of S4:

The Lost Special: Family Matters (As Do Relationships) by ShirleyCarlton (M, 144,688 w., 40 Ch. || S4 Fix It Fic / Meta Fic, Unreliable Narrator, John’s Mind Bungalow, Friends to Lovers, Happy Ending, Demisexual Sherlock, Holmes Family, John Whump, Gay Mycroft, Misunderstandings, Drug Addiction, Parenting, TFP is a Nightmare, Virgin Sherlock, Slow Burn, Minor Character Death, Switchlock, John’s Past, Sherlock’s Past, Eurus, Love Confessions) – Sherrinford is not really the name of some high security prison. That was just a figment of John’s frantic coma dream. And Eurus is not actually Sherlock’s sister. That’s just something random she said to John before shooting him. Sherlock and John were never actually estranged. That was just their act to cover up what really happened to Mary – or Rosamund Moran, as her real name has turned out to be. Sherlock does have a secret sibling, though, and his name is Sherrinford. After finally eliminating Moran – though in a rather dramatically different way than they had envisioned – and exposing the truth about Eurus, John encourages Sherlock to delve into his past and to find out whether the reasons to keep Sherrinford away from Sherlock were the right ones, and to discover what really happened in 1981. Along the way, Sherlock and John gradually, finally, stop keeping each other at a distance, and eventually become a proper family of their own.

-----

There are two other meta-fics I want to read as well (victorianpining's and mamaorion's) but the former just finished the story so only recently has it been bumped to the top of my list, and mama's was one of the stories I mentioned above that I had to set aside temporarily. I'm hoping I can get both of those read this year :)

Thanks for telling your story, and giving me the opportunity to sort of explain why the eff I only read 18 new Johnlock fics this year LOL. I'm ashamed and embarrassed about my brain, oof.

It's always magical when you leave a fandom and you still have that ONE fic that always sticks with you! I've a few of those myself, hahah. I'm so glad that this was one of them for you :)

#steph replies #blogger problems #chatting with nonnies #johnlock fic recs #i like telling stories about my fic reccing process #GO READ THIS FIC

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diadoescomics · 2 years

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Hello again sorry it took so long. I want to draw people themselves like a person.

Hello! I'm gonna write up a few things that help me personally when it comes to drawing characters so please take all of this with a grain of salt, as it might not work for everyone. Step 1: Observe shapes aka familiarize yourself with what you want to draw. What I do before i start drawing anyone is break down their figure to shapes. Do they have a round face? square? are their shoulders broad? do they have thick thighs etc. The shapes that make up a character are at the most basic level what gives them their vibe. If this is something you can't tell just by looking, tracing over the art to simplify the shapes is 100% ok. Tracing is a very useful tool for learning purposes, but it's impolite to do it over fanart. Generally if you do it over official art or stock photos/photos taken specifically for pose references to familiarize yourself with the shapes/motion until you can do it by hand, it becomes a very useful tool. Step 2: Gather your references. If you're drawing fanart of a character or making up your OCs, I can't recommend enough finding images with the vibe/pose/outfit you want to use. An incredibly useful tool to organize your references is PureRef, which is a pay what you can software that basically becomes a reference board. You can import A Lot of files in it and sort them in whatever way you like. Step 3: Find a way to practice that works for you.

This is the inevitable "practice makes perfect" step, But not every type of practice will work for everyone, however if there's one thing that has helped me is making practice sessions into something more fun. Do I need to practice drawing hands? I draw the hands and then make the entire piece a semi steamy otp piece.

Again the thing that will help A Lot is finding references that depict the thing you want to get better at. I can't stress enough how important looking at stuff while drawing is. Step 4: Have fun with it. Draw the things you want to draw and your skills will get better, that's just a fact. I think a very important part of getting better at any creative process is to actually enjoy it. If you focus too much on the stuff that you don't really feel like making but kinda think you have to, or at things that don't end up looking as good as you want them to then you're going to tire yourself out. It's good to keep in mind that it's a process and so long as you keep making what you want to make, you'll eventually catch up to the image of the thing you want to make in your head!

I hope these were helpful, I'm not very good at explaining my own thoughts to people so I'm sorry if they're not very clear!

#dia and friends ramble

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thinkingisadangerouspastime · 3 years

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(pt 1) i really enjoy all your atla analyses & you've done a great job breaking down the usual arguments re how eip shows that kataang shouldn't have happened. i'm curious about your take on one specific argument that i just saw today, in an analysis of the show by a zker that was otherwise quite good and respectful (i know you've already talked about eip a lot, so no problem if you don't feel like rehashing). the premise: aang didn't just pressure katara in eip, he threatened her.

(pt 2) they point to when katara joins aang & asks if he’s alright: “aang: no, i’m not! i hate this play! katara: i know it’s upsetting, but it sounds like you’re overreacting. aang: overreacting? if i hadn’t blocked my chakra, i’d probably be in the avatar state right now!” the suggestion is he’s threatening her when he says ‘i’d probably be in the avatar state right now’ to describe his anger. i think this take exaggerates and oversimplifies it, but interested in your thoughts on it.

Hello my friend!! It is true I am Old inside and don’t like rehashing dhdlksjslks BUT your comments on my posts are always incredibly kind and insightful so I am more than willing to do a bit of rehashing for you 🥰 Besides! I’ve seen this general take before a few times and it’s always irked me for the exact reason you point out - it simultaneously exaggerates and oversimplifies the situation (and honestly that’s an impressive duality since it’s seemingly contradictory, so hats off to them lmaooo) - and now is as good a time as any to address it. So, for starters, let’s go ahead and get the excerpt they love to focus on so much:

Cut to Aang standing alone on a balcony. Katara enters and walks up to him.

Katara: Are you all right?

Aang: [Angered.] No, I’m not! I hate this play! [Yanks his hat off and throws it on the ground.]

Katara: I know it’s upsetting, but it sounds like you’re overreacting.

Aang: Overreacting? If I hadn’t blocked my chakra, I’d probably be in the Avatar State right now!

Here’s the thing about so-called analyses of this excerpt: in a manner extremely convenient to the poster, they never seek to contextualize this moment. (I mean, to do so would deplatform their entire “argument” - perhaps that’s why they avoid performing a full analysis?) So let’s avoid that pitfall from the start.

Firstly, below are some links to related posts; I’m going to do my best to summarize the most relevant parts, but for anyone who desires greater detail, I gotchu 😤

This post explains why EIP (the play, lol) is imperialist propaganda and is intended to belittle the entire Gaang.

This post explains how Aang never acted “entitled” to Katara’s affections, particularly in regard to EIP.

This post breaks down the infamous EIP kiss like Snopes Fact Checker, covering common misconceptions, important perspectives to consider, etc.

Alright. With that out the way, it’s time for some context.

Aang and Katara have this conversation on the balcony after watching 95% of “The Boy in the Iceberg,” a play chock-full of Fire Nation propaganda that demeans the entire Gaang in order to prop up the Fire Nation as superior (hence why the play ends with Ozai’s victory). Here is my general breakdown of Aang and Katara’s treatment in particular from a previous post:

- katara, an indigenous woman, is highly sexualized and portrayed as overly dramatic and tearful, because the fire nation objectifies women not of their own people and views them as less intelligent and less emotionally stable

- aang, the avatar, the sole survivor of the fire nation’s genocide of the air nomads who is incredibly in-touch with his spirituality and femininity, is portrayed as an overly-airy and immature woman. the fire nation portrays him with a female actor to demean him (like, that’s classic imperialistic propagandist tactics) and furthermore writing his character as a childish airhead reinforces the fire nation sentiment that the air nomads were weak, foolish people who did not deserve to exist in their world

In other words, these kids have just watched almost an entire play that preys upon their insecurities and depicts them using racist and sexist stereotypes about their respective nations. It is completely understandable that tensions might run a little high and that their interactions would not be as balanced as usual (Katara and Aang have a great track record of communicating well with each other, as it happens!).

So we have to keep that in mind when examining the aforementioned excerpt. But there are other factors to consider, too! Namely: they are kids. Children. Teens. Aang is 12, Katara is 14.

If we want to be scientific, a person’s brain doesn’t finish developing until they are 25, lmao, and the preteen/teen years are when the prefrontal cortex that controls “rationality,” “judgement,” “forethought,” etc. is still developing. This doesn’t mean Aang and Katara are irrational and make poor decisions 24/7 (obviously not), but it does mean that in an intense, highly emotional situation, like after watching a play that intentionally demeans them and depicts them as inferior, they are more likely to overreact, more likely to be emotional, and more likely to make mistakes. Like, I’m serious, lol. “Teens process information with the amygdala.” That’s part of the brain that helps control emotions! It’s why teens sometimes struggle to articulate what we’re thinking, especially in situations that require instinct/impulse and quick decisions, because we’re really feeling whenever we make those choices. Acting more on emotion. Our brains simply haven’t finished developing the decision-making parts, lmao.

In sum: Aang and Katara are both kids, not adults, and should be interpreted as such. This doesn’t negate their intelligence, because they are both incredibly smart and Aang is arguably the wisest of the Gaang, but they are human. Young humans. They have emotions, and we should not be so cruel as to assume they’d never act on them.

So taking that all together, we can now acknowledge the high stress Aang and Katara are under, understand why they might be upset (*cough* imperialist propaganda is hurtful *cough*), and examine how their youth might play into their emotional reactions. And funny thing - all analyses that come to the conclusion of Aang “threatening” Katara here do not usually bother with this context. I can’t imagine why!

And you know what, let’s add one more piece of context: Sokka states that Aang left the theater “like, ten minutes ago,” which is what cues Katara to go look for him on the balcony. The reason I mention this line is because to me, it suggests Aang knew he was more worked up than usual! He chose to separate himself from his friends so he could process his frustration! He did not take his anger at the play out on them; instead, he purposefully took time and space to be alone.

With that in mind, I don’t understand at all how Aang’s Avatar state quote could be interpreted as a threat? Canonly, Aang is someone who was aware enough of his frustration to separate himself from the others - yet the logical next step is him threatening Katara as a result? He knew his intense emotions were because of the play (which he says himself), so the logical conclusion is that he then pinned the fault on Katara? What?? Sorry, that interpretation has no textual basis, lmao. But I digress!

Aang tells Katara, “If I hadn’t blocked my chakra, I’d probably be in the Avatar State right now!” As you said, this is the line people point to in an attempt to justify their (baseless) conclusion that Aang is “threatening” Katara. So let’s bring in the two key pieces of context: imperialist propaganda and age. Given that Aang is 12, and given that Aang has just watched almost a full play that demeans him and everything his people stood for (and let’s not forget it also mocks his and Katara’s love for each other)…

His reaction is understandable. An exaggeration and needlessly dramatic, but understandable. He feels vulnerable and insecure and Aang is human. He is human and flawed and he overreacts here and I love that A:TLA shows how even our heroes, even people who are truly good at heart and in soul, can get overly upset (especially given the aforementioned circumstances!). Would Aang actually be in the Avatar state at that moment, had it been possible? Of course not! He’s young and he’s hurt and as such he says something dramatic to convey his anxieties and frustrations. The line is not meant to be taken literally, and seeing people do so despite all the factors that should be taken into consideration when analyzing it… Cue a long, tired sigh from me and so many other A:TLA fans.

And to be honest? I cannot fathom how people watch this episode and come to the conclusion that Aang is “threatening” Katara. To me, this episode - besides being a recap episode - is one that humanizes our cast even further. Aang snaps at Katara, kisses her when he shouldn’t (which the story appropriately treats as wrong). Katara pushes down her true feelings and retreats into herself, afraid to start a relationship with the boy she loves because she’s already lost him once before and can’t bear to do so again. Zuko further confronts the hurt he’s enacted upon others, especially upon Iroh. Toph practices being vulnerable and accepting vulnerability from others by conversing with Zuko. Sokka witnesses how others have erased his contributions and labelled him as nothing more than the token nonbender in the group. Even Suki learns that she is not the only person who holds a place in Sokka’s heart and that she can never replace what he has lost.

To watch this episode where our heroes must come to terms with how the Fire Nation deems them inherently inferior, with how they have more fights to overcome in the future with the Fire Nation than a single war, and to come to the conclusion that… that what, Aang is abusive? A monster? Irredeemable? That he would threaten his best friend, someone he loves in every way?

Wow. That says more than enough about the viewer, doesn’t it?

#getting back into the swing of things babey ✌️#aang #katara #kataang #kataangtag #the ember island players #atla #avatar the last airbender #amy answers #dramaticowl #amy analyzes #also i am speaking in GENERAL TERMS here lmaooo this is not a direct response to any one post 😂😂

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insufferablelust · 4 years

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I ummm woupd it be okay to ask you to do a mgg x reader smut. Like he ties reader up and fucks her but like sticks his fingers in her mouth to suck on but she is also really bratty and likes to make things hard for him (like at work) and just super dom mgg and really bratty reader. Idk I'm awkward sorry you dont have to write it I just thought maybe a suggestion I mean I really like your working and all

Finally new smut! yay! anyways i combined these two amazing mgg concepts from my queens and then turn them into this, adding my spice into it as well so i hope y’all love this! thank you for the reqs queens!! MASTERLIST OF ALL MY WORKS.

WARNINGS : Dom!Mgg x Sub!Reader, Degradation by name calling, Rough sex, Oral fixation, back seat abandoned building car sex, exhibitionism, overstimulation, lots of teasing, and all the good stuff. Plus fluffs!!! Read at your own risk❤️ leave a like and reblog, thanks!

———————

Having an actor as a boyfriend surely has its perks, one being the fact that i always gets to see how Matthew make his own version of art, his visions, as well as his god gifted talent, i must say that it warms my heart to no end, seeing him so passionate about something that he can even do in his sleep.

With perks, comes the not so pleasant ones, one of them is not seeing him for weeks sometimes. His busy schedule has put my relationship through some rocky beginnings, thankfully we made agreements and that’s settled. Of course, i could visit him whenever i want, even if it requires a plane ticket— he’ll provide it (not that you’ll take it.) but today is one of those days when the amount of missing him became greater than to actually wait patiently.

The location where Matthew currently filming, wasn’t that far from our shared house so it shouldn’t be that bad right?.... Wrong. A month into the filming process i felt the neediness present, he comes home every night yet you still miss him. He filmed during the day mostly, coming home late already tired, and then when his director gave him a time off or day or two break, he spent it by rereading scripts or working on directing his small projects.

It’s not that i didn’t understand his schedule, but something about having him so close yet so far away just chipped away any patience i have left in me. Frustrated, i grabbed the car keys and decided to go to where he was filming. I knew that he wouldn’t have a problem with you coming in, but I knew that would definitely have a problem or two about what i’ve been planning.

So you drove for an hour, until you reached the filming set, finding yourself growing expectedly needy and nervous. You texted him saying that you were on your way, the way he answered left you giggling and smiling like a schoolgirl.

“Sure sweetheart, come on over, my lunch break is at 12.15, we can have lunch together. When you got here just knock on trailer 4. Love you.”

Your knocked on his trailer door, anxiously biting your lips at the anticipation, it shouldn’t be such a big deal, you’ve visited his set couple of times before— it’s just.. what you wear and what you have in mind is making you jumpy with adrenaline coursing through your bloodstream. Only wearing one of his button ups, tucked inside the plated skirt that stop around mid-thigh. It’s one of his... kink really to see you in such a mundane outfit yet something about seeing you in his clothing on public nonetheless flick the switch inside Matthew, makes him go feral.

So as soon as he opened the trailer door, and see the sinful cladded clothing, he yanked you inside and furiously carry you to his lap as he sit down on one of the chairs. “Are you fucking crazy?” His tone sent chills down your spine, you know better than this, than to show up while he’s working, in such clothing that drove him mad. The tone in his voice plus the way he gripped your hips should’ve warned you just how mad he is. But you just innocently shrugged, and rolled you eyes, licking your lips before muttering a soft, “last time i check, i’m doing just—“

You were cut off instantly by the grip that’s now strongly held against the skin of your jawline, and the fingers that was penetrating your very lips. The act, sent your blissful sear to your core.

“Shut up, and listen here you insatiable bunny. I have to finish few more scenes, and it shouldn’t take long. I want you to be a good bunny, and behave. I’m giving you a chance to be good here, if you obey what i said, i’ll give you rewards but if i catch you disobeying me whilst i’m gone, believe me you won’t walk let alone sit for a week, pet.”

Matthew’s eyes burned holes through your skull, his fingers shoved deeper making you gag slightly, cheeks running with tears. “Do you understand, or do i have to write it down for needy whores like you hm?” His words are downright cruel yet your panties got more damper and damper. The only thing you can let out is soft whimpers and nods at him, your fingers scratching his arms to let you breathe.

“If you lie, i’ll know. Now be good, i’ll see you in a bit.” He pushed his lips against yours, kissing the tender lips softly before pulling away and then out the door.

Your heart was beating so fast, and your core ached, truly ached and sopping wet. You almost cried out at the frustration, but decided that you can take it, you’ll take it. So you decided to just lay there and tried to get some sleep. You thought the desire should’ve burned down for a bit after you wake up, but if anything it grows stronger and made you needier.

You were so desperate that you half expectedly slip your fingertips past through the waistband of your panties, sighing as you dream about the sensation of being touched by him, his fingers, his lips, his tongue, his damn cock. “Please..” You whimpered out to no one in particular, just the surrounding space on his trailer. “Matthew..” You moaned again, this time louder— loud enough that you don’t ever hear him opening the door, your eyes only opened when he slammed it, now standing in front of you, his hands tucked away inside his pants pocket.

“Matthew i—“

“Lay over my lap.” He commanded, the way he said it surely alerted all the nerves inside of you. You drew in a sharp breath, before crawling to where was sat at the edge of the chair, and lay tummy down across his lap, the skirt you wore made it easy for him to slide your panties down and shove them inside your mouth as he palmed your ass, gripping it hard, then before you could even breathe, his palm crashed against your ass cheeks.

“Count, and thank me.”

“One! Thank you Matthew!”

There’s something about her calling his name, begging him to do anything that gets him going every-time. He loves it especially when she’s basked with his scent, his clothes, him just him. Call him simply in love or obsessed, he doesn’t care as long as he’s with her. Being in control helps him relinquish all his stress, but really— it’s her who’s in control, if you want to stop he’ll stop. But he knows, both of them pleased each other and willing to go for miles just to be close and intimate.

“Five! oh! t-thank you.” Her breathing was shallow, her ass was on fire, and her core was dripping wet. This is what he loves about their relationship, the dynamics, and the amount of trusts they have with one another always sparked something inside him and her. God he would die for Y/N.

“Ten! please please!” He smiled, before yanking her hair upwards, bending down— his lips trail kisses from her neck up to her ear as he whispered, “What are you begging for, doll?”

“Touch me! please Matthew!” The way she begged turns him on like no other, yet he knows what she wants, and he’s going to give it to her. Making sure she will learn not to tease him this time.

“You’re so cute, and a mess too. I bet you love it don’t you? being a greedy mess for me?” The condescending tone of his should make her angry, but instead she moaned- she bloody moaned. “uh huh! i’m yours right?”

At that she turns to look at him in the eye, knowing just how frustrated if he sees her eyes, her damn puppy eyes. He knows her trick well enough to give her one more slap before tugging her to stand up shakily, whilst still holding onto her waist so that she won’t fall.

“Here’s what we’re going to do pet, we’re going to your car, and then we’ll wait until we get home. Okay baby?”

“No! no! no please!” Y/N whined as she stomped her foot like a child, the stern line of his jaw clenched as his palm burned and twitch with the need to reminds her to not talk like that to him. Yet he held back, decided to wait until a bit later.

“C’mon brat, fix yourself and let’s go.” And just like that, he walked away packing his things, leaving her wet and ready as tears streamed down her eyes, She’s so damn needy.

Pulling herself up, she fixed her make up as best as she can before gathering her things and catching up to him who’s already situated himself on the driver seat of her car.

If this is the game he wanted to play, then game on, Gubler.

—————

It started when they were about halfway to their house, long enough to make him believe that she’s well behaved. Uh oh, not when your girl is Y/N, she thinks. She parted her legs wide, pulling the palm that has been resting on her thigh for a while now deeper into where he could feel the heat through her panties.

“Y/N.” Matthew warned, his eyes flicking towards her, but instead of pulling back his hands— he gripped her inner thigh tightly instead causing her to whimper in delight from the mixture of pain and pleasure.

“Yes, M- Oh...” She fluttered her eyes shut as she make a dramatic arch of her back, as she felt his knuckles grazed against her puffy clit. Her free palm reached out to palm his cock through the pants he was wearing, earning strings of ‘fucking brat.’ from him which made her giggle.

“Oh, you’re enjoying this hm? Enjoy testing me like this?” Y/N innocently tilted her head, and shrug as if she’s not giving him a hand job right now. “Ah look at you, so cute. Just remember the consequences, petal.”

She giggled like an angel that she is before leaning to his side as her hand unbutton his pants, earning a loud “Don’t you dare.” From him, which she only replied with a lip bite and then took his hard cock out, gently running her fingertips against the veins.

“Oh but look baby! you’re clearly loving it right now.” She bat her eyelashes up at him before leaning down and place her warm mouth around the head of his cock, causing him to press the gas pedal a bit too hard. “You insatiable fucking minx.” He groaned, one hand on the steering wheel and the other one tangled in her hair pushing her down his cock.

Matthew was trying so hard to focus yet he just couldn’t, who’s to blame him? his girl’s warm mouth is around his cock, and the sight of her bending across the damn center console with her ruined panties on his peripheral vision doesn’t sit well with safety. Finding the nearest abandoned property and pulled over, before pulling her head up.

“Dirty whore, get in the back and get on your hands and knees.” He hissed, as he released the grip on her hair, which she obeyed immediately, crawling to the back seat on hands and knees as he waited for him. They’ve done this enough times to know which position allows them to have the best sensation.

The moment he crawled his lanky self to the backseat, her grip on the leather seat tighten— preparing herself for whats to come. She felt the grip on her waist as Matthew yanked up her skirt and then push her panties to the side before pushing his cock right into her dripping wet cunt, both of them moaning loudly, finally feeling the pleasure they’ve been teased out of each other.

Matthew didn’t spare her anytime to adjust to his impressive length as he immediately begins thrusting with a brutal pace, making sure to dug his nails onto her skin— leaving marks and indents.

“You love this don’t you? fucked in the backseat of your own car like a damn cheap whore.” He whispered harshly, causing her to buck against him— which resulted in quick violent slaps against her ass as he pound his cock into her like a maniac.

“Yours— yours Matthew, fuck.” She cried out, feeling the way his cock nudge her spot every time he thrusted inside making her mewls. Matthew yanked her hair back so Y/N’s back flushed against his front, slowing down his pace.

“You wanna cum baby? yeah?” He muttered darkly, his thrusts slowing down but pressing deeper that she could even feel it inside her tummy. Y/N tried to find the words but she just couldn’t, not when his cock is perfectly nudged against her spot so she cried out a loud yes instead and hoped that her boyfriend would give her mercy.

“Cum, go on..” She let out a confused moan, knowing that he usually don’t let her cum this easy, but paying no mind as she came around his cock, and screamed into the leather seat as Matthew released the grip on her hair.

He let her ride out her orgasm, and she was about to thank him and offered him a blowjob because she think she can’t take anymore pounding feeling overly overstimulated— yet that thought drowned as soon as his hips bucks up and continue to thrust her in a much faster and hard pace causing her to let out screams.

“No! n-no ah! Matthew! too much oh too much!”

“Shh, take it. You want to cum right? so you’ll keep on coming, baby go on.” He laughed against her ear as he keeps on thrusting, feeling himself got close. “N-please..”

“Cum again come on.” He hissed as he could feel the way her walls tightened so deliciously, encasing her velvet around his cock. The minute her screams went high pitched and her body violently shake, he knew she just came and that sent him to shoot heavy spurts inside of her, with heavy breathing and whispers, “Shit. You did so good baby, so so good, Y/N..”

—————

They both come down from their high slowly as Matthew pulled out of her, immediately pulling some tissues from her bag and wipe them both gently— trying not to cause any pain. “Shh it’s okay.. come here baby.” He said as he placed her on top of his lap after he cleaned them both.

“Hey.. I love you so much Y/N.” He whispered, fingers playing with her hair as she smiled against his sweaty neck and whisper a soft “I love you, Matthew. sorry for being a brat.” Which earned her a laugh from him,

“I still love you even if you’re being bratty. Just give me more reason to put you back in your place right princess?” He then move his fingertips to stroke her cheeks, feeling the flesh warmed up to his touch, as his thumb pressed against her lips.

She then opened her lips slowly, letting him push his thumb inside to let her suckle on it. Sometimes after a particularly rough sex like this or just generally when she’s trying to calm herself down, he would let her suck on his fingers. His girl surely has an oral fixation, but its also coping mechanism.

As he heard her breathing slow and even, he smiled— knowing she’s asleep. He waited for few more minutes before laying her on the back seat with a blanket covering her that he pulled out from the trunk, pressing one last kiss on her forehead before going back to the driver seat and then drive back home.

The day was perfect, and Matthew wouldn’t trade it with anything else.

———————

Blurb Reqs are open, send in your requests now. ❤️ thank you for supporting.

#insufferableblurb #criminal minds imagines #criminal minds smut #dom!spencer #dom!mgg #mgg smut #matthew gray gubler smut #matthew gray gubler fluff #mgg fluff #spencer reid smut

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fansofvow · 3 years

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Interview with Eve Golden Woods!

Many of you know who is Eve is. She's a writer and artist, a part of Dreamfeel studios whose beautiful game If Found won Best LGBTQ Narrative and Best LGBTQ Indie game at the first ever Gayming Awards presented by EA games. I am really excited I had the chance to ask Eve some questions about herself, her time at Lovestruck and her creative process.

Congratulations on the two Gayming Awards (Best LGBTQ Narrative, Best LGBTQ Indie Game) for "If Found" from your game studio, Dreamfeel. What was the inspiration behind making the game?

If Found... was a game that emerged out of a collaboration between Llaura McGee, the founder of Dreamfeel, and artist Liadh Young. Liadh's background is as a comic artist, and so when they started working together Llaura had the idea of showing off Liadh's art by making a diary game, and using an erasing mechanic she had previously developed to let the player move through the diary in a fun way. By the time I came on board at the start of 2019, the game had already been in development for a while, so in some ways my work on that game was similar to the work I did for Voltage, because it was taking existing characters and concepts and writing a lot of scripts for them. Unlike Voltage, though, my work for Dreamfeel was a lot more collaborative and I had a lot more creative input. I really enjoy taking something and helping to make it the best version of itself that it can possibly be, but I was also really happy that I got to reflect a lot of my own experiences in If Found. Llaura and I both grew up on the west coast of Ireland, and although If Found... isn't autobiographical for either of us, it was definitely really meaningful to be able to tell a story that reflected our own experiences of growing up as queer teens in a similar kind of environment. Since the game came out we've had fans reach out to us and tell us that they also connected to the experiences of the main characters, and as far as I'm concerned, that makes me feel like I achieved everything I wanted to.

You are a writer and a visual artist. Does one come easier to you than the other?

I used to think of art and writing as talents, and I always felt like my art was at a very mediocre level (that's probably still true, lol). So when I was younger I focused a lot more on writing. It was only later that I started genuinely trying to improve as an artist, but when I did, I think I had a much healthier mindset, and approached it as a skill I could learn with patience and effort. Because of that, even though I still have a lot more confidence in my writing, I find art more fun and relaxing, and I don't stress about it as much.

Did you always know you would follow a creative path?

Kind of? Both my parents are artists, and I grew up surrounded by artists and writers, so it was something that was always very familiar and accessible to me. On the other hand, I didn't exactly have a clear idea of how to make it into a career, or what kind of work would be involved. But there's never been a point in my life where I wasn't doing something creative, even if it was only writing fanfiction.

What did your path to working professionally as a writer/artist look like?

I did a creative writing masters in college, but after that I spent years teaching English as a second language. That was really fun and I got to live abroad, but it was so busy and tiring that I didn't have time to do any writing outside of the occasional fanfic. I only started to take art seriously again when I became interested in games and comics as ways of telling stories. I did some critical writing, which led me to speak at a few local events and get involved in zine fairs. That was how I met Llaura, the director and lead of the Dreamfeel studio, and it's also what gave me the confidence to start applying for actual writing jobs.

Is there any work of art, visual or written, that you look to for inspiration?

So many! I try to read and watch as widely as I can, although there are touchstones I always return to, like the works of Ursula Le Guin and Terry Pratchett. Right now I feel very passionate about the actual play podcast Friends at the Table, which manages to combine really thoughtful worldbuilding and storytelling with cool, fun characters and great action scenes. I'm also reading a book called The Memory Police by Youko Ogawa, which has extremely beautiful prose.

Do you have a favorite piece of your own art, whether it is something you’ve drawn, a screenshot of something you’ve written or something else?

My favourite piece of art is usually whatever I finished most recently (I think that's true for a lot of people). Especially with visual art, once a bit of time has gone by you look back on it and start to notice all your mistakes, which is very annoying. But actually I do still really like the first piece of Fiona fanart I did last year. I managed to use some effects to give it a kind of nineties anime quality that I find really fun, and I think it conveys an emotion pretty effectively. That's always one of the hardest things to predict with visual art, whether the different parts will come together to create the exact mood you're looking for.

I also really like the compass I did for Bycatch. Krissy (@xekstrin) was the one who suggested filling it with fingernails, which was such a good, gross idea! As soon as I heard that I knew it was perfect and that I had to try and draw it.

Many people who read this blog know you as a writer for Lovestruck. When you look back on your time there, what stands out in your mind?

Lovestruck was very important to me when I first started because it was my first ongoing, regular, paid writing work. It gave me a lot of confidence and helped me to get into the habit of writing consistently and rapidly, which is a really useful skill to have. I know I was right to leave when I did, though, because I am just brimming with energy to work on my own projects, and channeling that power into something that you can't control will always end up disappointing you. Also, I made a ton of incredible friends, through Lovestruck itself but then even more so through VOW (@vowtogether), and that is more than worth all the difficult parts.

Is there any character that you would have liked a crack at writing?

Oh gosh, what a fun question! There are so many, but one I do sometimes think about is Axia, just because I know there are a bunch of fans who want her route, and because I had fun writing her as a villain in Zain's route. I can see in my head the shadow of a storyline that takes place after Zain's route is over, where she's in prison and trying to understand how she lost the battle with Zain and MC. I think there's, like, a gap there, where you could see her downfall forcing her to reconsider her assumptions about power, and that could build into a very interesting redemption story. But maybe it's for the best I never got to do that, because I would have wanted full creative control over it, and also I think the story in my head is very different to the sexy, in control, menacing version of Axia that her fans enjoy.

Do you have any upcoming projects you can talk about?

Most of my current work is under NDA, but I will say that I'm doing something very exciting with other VOW members that we should be able to talk about soon(ish). Maybe I can even give a little teaser... It's not a game, but it is something you can read, and my part involves cakes, swamps, and a museum.

Do you have a favorite quote or song lyric?

It's a big long, but there's a section from The Dispossessed by Ursula le Guin that has stayed with me ever since I read it:

"For we each of us deserve everything, every luxury that was ever piled in the tombs of the dead kings, and we each of us deserve nothing, not a mouthful of bread in hunger. Have we not eaten while another starved? Will you punish us for that? Will you reward us for the virtue of starving while others ate? No man earns punishment, no man earns reward. Free your mind of the idea of deserving, the idea of earning, and you will begin to be able to think."

It's such a profoundly radical way of imagining the world, so different to everything I was raised with, but whenever I think about it I feel like I can see something very beautiful and powerful that I hope to come closer to understanding some day.

And of course, "Solidarity forever, the union makes us strong."

I was a big fan of the show Inside the Actor’s Studio. Host James Lipton asked every single guest the same 10 concluding questions. I’ve picked 3 of them:

-What is your favorite word?

My favourite word: for sound, I like words you can really roll around on your tongue. Chthonic, alabaster, insinuation. For meaning, I think simple words that encapsulate big concepts have a kind of power to them. We use them so often we forget how big they are, how much weight they really have, but they give us the space to imagine new possibilities. Love. Freedom. Revolution.

-What is your least favorite word?

I've heard that "moist" is a lot of people's least favourite word but it doesn't actually bother me. My least favourite word is probably one where I feel like the sound doesn't match the meaning. One of the Irish words for rain is báisteach, which I feel has a much weightier and more onomatopoeic sound than rain. Rain is just very flat and uninteresting.

-What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?

Oh, so many! I love history, and I think being a historian/archaeologist would be fascinating. Or something that had a physical component to it, like being a potter or a carpenter. I don't think I'd be any good, but I'd love to take the time to learn.

What would be your advice to anyone who wants to pursue a creative career?

All the work you do matters. Even the failed experiments, the things you hate when they're finished. It all helps to make you better. Also, creative career paths are often really unexpected, so chase any opportunity that seems remotely interesting. Don't work for free for anyone who can afford to pay, but work for yourself and put it somewhere. On a blog, twitter, whatever. You'd be amazed how many people get noticed and get offered opportunities because of something they made in their spare time. You'll probably have to work another job for a long time, so don't be hard on yourself if you're too tired to devote much energy to creative work. Try to make art consistently, but don't feel like that has to mean every day. Don't chase after celebrities. Make friends with your peers.

#vowtogether #vow interview #writing #art #lovestruck #dreamfeel #iffound #gayming #gaming #mod atlas

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ye4gerismarchives · 3 years

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the bachelorette chp 4, part 3: visiting jean’s mom

an: so, i decided i'd write the elimination in a separate chapter, one, just to mess with y'all and two, to give you time. i honestly think picking one of these three guys is really hard. obviously, i know who i want to win, but i look at the two other guys and i'm like 'oh, they would be good too!'. i like pulling at your heartstrings ;). i'll probably put together another q&a (depending on the numbers of questions i get) and once i do that, i'll wait for a day and then close the poll to start writing! anyways, let me stop sharing my thought process with yall and start your date with jean. link at the bottom!

tags: black, fem reader

tag list: @taybird

Bertholdt drove you back to the mansion and you texted Connie asking him to prepare something for you, Bertholdt. Jean and Connie to eat. And maybe a lil something for that brat Levi. Connie responded with an 'ok' and a smiley face.

The car ride home was silent. You felt awful for Bertholdt. You wondered how many silent post-hospital drives he's been through.

Once you got home, Bertholdt told you he wasn't very hungry and just wanted to lay down. You wanted to argue with him but Bertholdt needed space. You wish him good night before making your way to the kitchen.

Connie and Jean were chatting it up in the kitchen once you walked in. Connie was the one to announce your entrance. "Hey, y/n," he greets. Jean then turns around. "Hey, y/n. How is Bert holding up? I understand that visit was really hard."

"Thank you for asking, Jean. Bertie...well...he's just being human. His dad...it's really bad," you reply. You take a seat by Jean at the kitchen island. "The fact that he's been holding in for a while...it's crazy. I would have never thought he was in that situation. No wonder he was so stressed after that Porco got angry with him," Jean says. You raise an eyebrow at Jean. "Oh...after Porco got angry with him about you, Bert seemed sadder and more introverted than usual. He only really confided in Reiner, though," Jean explained.

"Ah, that makes sense. Poor Bertie."

Connie had made some garlic bread with ava ado toast and egg. You didn't expect that out of him but you all enjoyed it. You felt tired, so you told the guys you were ready to lay down. They wished you good night before diving into a conversation about...y'all i don't even know what men talk about 😐

The next morning, you woke up at the same time as you did for Connie's visit. Your final visit would be Jean's mom. She also lived far away from the mansion but Jean insisted that you could take your time. She would still be at her home. No nurses to rush you out or kids bugging their parents. You hoped this visit would be as peaceful as it sounded.

You were very hungry though. You didn't realize it last night about the whole Bertholdt thing and you only had those little stupid avocado things that Connie made. It was good but didn't feel you up. You decided you would take a bath and get ready for your visit later.

You crept downstairs, hoping not to wake anyone up. You didn't want Levi questioning you and you didn't want to stop and talk to the boys because you would probably have a day-long conversation and if that conversation was with Jean, you probably wouldn't see his mom.

You made a few turns and found yourself in the kitchen. And you weren't alone. Jean was leaning on the kitchen counter, sipping on some coffee that he had made. His eyebrows widened at your presence.

"Good morning," he greeted, "I didn't expect you to be up right now."

"Oh, I'm just hungry right now. Didn't eat much yesterday," you say. Jean places his coffee down on the table. "Would you like me to make you something?"

You were about to say yes but a greater idea came into mind. "Why don't we make something together? It would be fun and give you bonus points..." You wiggle your eyebrows when you say that last part. Jean let out a laugh. "Well, you're hungry and I can't let you starve. Us working together will make things faster...and those 'bonus points' would help a lot."

You walk towards Jean and his eyes remain on you. You find yourself wrapping his arms around his waist. It was just on-demand. Jean pulls you close and kisses your forehead. "What do you wanna make?"You think for a minute. "You know how to make (meal of your choice)?"

Whether Jean says yes or no is up to you. However, Jean is really good at following directions. If you need something, he'll get it. If you needed him to watch something, he watches it with intensity.

After a few minutes, the meal was ready and you both sat by the kitchen island and dug in. "I hope Connie doesn't wake up and butt into our breakfast," you joke. Jean let out a small laugh. "Connie's really nice. He hasn't shown me or anyone else any hostility during our time here."

"If you could say...who did you think was the worst person here?" you ask. Jean doesn't even have to wait to answer. "I'd have to Floch. Confidence is key but Floch just got disrespectful about it. Talking about how we should all go home and let him have you. And he was only here one night and everyone already had a bad vibe about him."

Your heart panged at that answer. "Thank you for telling me. I know everyone likes drama but Floch sounds...dangerous. I don't know what would have happened if he stayed." "Yeah, of course. Sorry if that made you uncomfortable," Jean said sheepishly. The discomfort must have been visible on your face. "No, don't apologize. I asked."

You continued to eat your breakfast and chat and hear about Jean's experience in the mansion so far.

After breakfast, you and Jean got ready for the day and finally decided to head out. Jean was starting his car when you decided to ask another question.

"I've never heard you talk about your dad. I've heard bits about your mom and you've mentioned her to the other guys but I never hear about your father. He isn't dead right? Is he sick? Like Bertholdt's?"

Jean is silent for a minute. "Oh...I don't really like talking about my dad, but you would have to know at some point."

"Oh, Jean...you don't have to. Don't worry about it."

He shakes his head. "It's fine. We were going to have this conversation pretty soon, so it doesn't matter."

Jean starts moving the car and when he's out on the road, he begins to talk.

"My dad has never been in my life. At this point, I don't know if he's dead or not. Sometimes I feel like he isn't my father. We did talk like once or twice when I was a kid and I was actually desperate to see him. But once I reached high school and started preparing for my adult life, I realized he wasn't worth it anymore. If my dad really wanted to be there for me, he would have reached out more often and let me know that things were hard on his end. I know everything I'm saying is being recorded and broadcasted, so if he ever sees me on TV, he can always hit me up. I just won't be naïve and stupid like I was the last time."

You immediately jump in after that last line. "Hey. You weren't naïve or stupid. He was stupid. You were a kid waiting on his dad. You had every right to wait for him, so don't insult yourself over him."

Deep down inside, you weren't sure if you wanted to meet Jean's dad...if he was alive. Jean didn't seem comfortable talking about him at all, so you shouldn't expect any visits or calls from that man. If you were to have kids and he popped up, that'd be hard to deal with. It would probably break Jean's heart to learn that his father would want to see his grandkids before even meeting the guy who helped make them.

Jean doesn't respond to what you said. Again, this was hard for him and he didn't even want to bring his father up in the first place, so you weren't upset.

You end up falling asleep in the car. Hours later, you wake up and Jean is parked in front of a bakery. He's on the phone. "Yeah, ma, we're here. Right in front of it, she's sleeping but we'll head inside....I miss you too...alright then, bye."

Jean hangs up and places the phone down. He jumps slightly when he realizes you're awake. "H-hey. I thought you were sleeping."

"Well, I was. Your mom is ready to see us?" You ask. "Yeah. She owns this bakery and decided to close completely today to meet you. I asked her if we could meet at home but she insisted that her bakery would be best. She's really proud of it," Jean explains. "Are we going to bake something?"

Jean laughs and shakes his head no. "Oh, no. My mom won't let you do any work in there, since you're a special guest. She put some things together if you want to eat something."

You imagined Jean's mother as someone who prioritized her future-in-law over her own son sometimes. It sounds overbearing but you thought this was a good thing. You wouldn't want an evil mother or father-in-law. If Jean were to cheat on you or hurt you, you knew she'd probably be on your side or hear both sides instead of immediately siding with her son.

You also wanted to assume that she was tough on Jean. Considering that she raised him herself, she had to do other things like work. To give herself some peace, she probably had a no-nonsense household- maybe why Jean was more like a puppy and wasn't as scandalous as the eliminated.

Jean got out of the car and helped you out. He didn't take your hand when directing you to the bakery but opened the door for you. Inside was a short, older woman, standing there with her hands clasped. The minute you stepped in, her excitement exploded. "Hi! Welcome! It's finally nice to meet you," she says. The older woman squeezes and you can't help but let out a chuckle...or a wheeze. "H-hey, mom. Maybe you should let her go," Jean steps in nervously. Jean's mom slowly lets go. "I'm sorry! I just got excited. Are you hungry?"

You shake your head. "No, Mrs. Kirstein. Jean actually helped me put together breakfast."

"Good, good. I'm glad he's being useful! And call me June. Come, sit, sit."

Jean's mom takes your hand and leads you to a small table and pulls open a chair for you. Jean quietly pulls a chair up by you. You start to worry about him because all the attention is on you, rather than the both of you.

"Can I get you something to drink?" June asks. "Some water would be nice," you answer. Your eye catches Jean's hand. You place your own on his and you feel him jump slightly. "Jean, would you like something too?"

"I-I'll take water too," Jean croaks. "Well, Jean, I'm sure you can serve yourself. I'm getting old, you know. Make sure you get a glass for y/n too."

Jean looks ready to argue back but he keeps his lips zipped. He carefully removes your hand from

his, gets up, and heads over to the back of the bakery.

You watch Jean do all of this and then finally turn away so that you can give June all your attention. "Please tell me he's been good to you," she starts. You weren't expecting this question but considers why she's asking. "Yes, Jean is...amazing. He's always coming to my defense. Which I shouldn't be surprised by, he is a lawyer."

June sighs in relief. "I hope he stays that way. He told you...about our situation right?" You nod. "It's unfortunate that his father did that to the both of you. If Jean does get married to me, I hope he doesn't pop out of anywhere. Jean's a good guy but I'm not too sure how he'll react to something like that." June let's our a small hum.

"Have you been watching the show?" you ask. "A little. I work, so it's hard to catch up on what's going on. Sometimes I'll read articles and Jean will text me to let me know if he didn't get eliminated. I was a little concerned about him doing the show because nothing is guaranteed."

"Hm...is he cocky about this whole thing? Does he really think he can get me?"

June thinks for a moment. "I can't say cocky but there's nothing wrong with a little confidence. Jean is handsome, he has a good job, he's smart- and he knows that. He believed those would be good reasons for you to like him. But...he does get bashful sometimes. He doesn't want all the attention on him and for people to view him in the wrong way. The fact that he had a mirror in his pocket on the first night was interesting to me. He's never done anything like that before."

You open your mouth but Jean enters once more. He places three water bottles on the table. "Sorry for taking too long. Ma, I'll replace the waters. Don't worry about it," he says. June shakes her head. "Don't worry about it, Jean. We have plenty of water."

"So, have you two discussed wedding plans? Anything for the future?" June suddenly asks. You look at Jean, who looks like his stomach was doing the chacha slide or sum. "M-mom-!"

"Well, we haven't reached that point because we don't know if he's staying or not but I'd like a really elegant wedding. I know we'll have a live-streamed wedding but I'd like to have a private wedding too. That would be nice right?" you cut in. Jean nods in agreement.

"What about kids? I read somewhere that you wanted a family," you tease. Jean's face reddened. "W-well...um...yeah...two would be nice. A girl and b-boy maybe?"

"See? We have a plan," you say with a wide smile. You could imagine Jean as a cautious dad but he still knew how to have fun with his kids. After long days at work, he'd cuddle with them and put them to sleep for you. When the kids are asleep, he'll check on you and make sure you had something to eat. He'd probably make sure to schedule regular date nights and family vacations. He'll have photos of you and the kids and maybe a few bandages in a wallet. Obviously, you would both be in the public eye once in a while but he would make things feel normal.

"I think you two would have beautiful kids. I do hope Jean gets picked. But your two other guys are good too. Bertholdt is absolutely adorable and Connie seems like he knows what he's doing. I don't know how you're ever going to choose. I can't imagine being your situation," June says.

"Wow, thanks for having my back mom," Jean says jokingly. "But if not me, pick Connie. He's a good person."

"Oh, Jean, don't do that to yourself. You're lovely." You cup his cheek and his reddened face returns.

Jean's mom starts talking about Jean when he was a kid- how he was such a big softie and a great helper, how he was popular in high school but still to himself, and all the girlfriends and boyfriends that she didn't like.

It was getting late. Jean's mom offered you her home but Jean stopped her before she could ask. You didn't question why he didn't want to stay at her home but still wondered why. You said your goodbyes, watched her lock the bakery, and drive off. Jean helps you into his car and gets into the drivers' seat.

"You know why she wanted to you go home with her?" he asks.

You shake your head no. "There's only one bed. A twin size bed," Jean says as he starts the car. You let out a chuckle. "Connie's parents tried that with us except Connie had a bigger bed."

Jean looks over at you. "Oh...I should have probably taken her offer."

"Connie and I didn't do anything that night...maybe you could give me a sample of what you can do. It'll help me decide."

Jean didn't hesitate to lean over and cup your cheek. He went in first. Jean was gentle and careful with your lips. You soon gave in and wrapped a hand on his wrist. When things started to get hot, you pulled away. "Didn't expect you to be that gentle...You really want me, huh?"

"Yeah," Jean says scratching his neck. "You're pretty rough... you have experience?"

Whether you say yes or no is up to you.

Jean smiles at your answer and starts driving. You try to fall asleep but it's so hard. All you can see is Bertholdt, Connie, and Jean at the next elimination. You wished Eren or Onyankopon did stupid stuff later on and were a part of the final three so that this could be easier.

Hours later, Jean reaches the mansion. He thinks you're still asleep. He doesn't want to wake you up. So what does he do? Jean opens the passenger door and scoops you up in his arms. Your heart jumps. You hope it's dark enough outside so that he can't see the small smile you're trying not to crack.

It doesn't Jean long to get to the door and ring the doorbell. He must be really strong. The door opens and he's greeted by Connie.

"You need help with that man?"

"Um...no...I think I'll get her up there. But you could get her purse from my car though. She'll probably wonder where that is."

Connie probably gave him a non-verbal response since there was just silence after that. Jean got you up the stairs and struggled with your bedroom door but he got in within ten minutes. Jean turns on your lights, places you on the bed, and removes your shoes. He steps away but you hear ripping sounds proceeding by scribbling. You can hear Jean turning off your lights and closing the door behind him as he leaves. Your eyes flick open and you wait a few moments. You turn on the light on your bed stand to see the note Jean wrote you.

'Wasn't sure what to do with your clothes. It's not my place to decide that- at least not yet. But I hope you slept comfortably.'

You smile softly at the note. It was definitely something he would say.

i use YOUR opinions to not only put together dates but to put together personalities. if y’all say you hate bertholdt, i’ll work my magic to mess with y’all :) anyways here’s the link! ask good questions. this is the last time you’ll see bertholdt, jean, OR connie. vote and ask wisely

#black!reader #jean kirstein x reader #aot x black! reader #bertholdt x reader #connie spinger x reader

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orange-waterfalls · 4 years

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Cell Block Tango, Ft. One Wilford Warfstache

ty @executiveespressodepresso for the request

A/N: I KNOW, I know. It took a long time. A really long time. 2 weeks is actually not that long but I GET IT. I’m done though! I am finished, I have completed one(1) fic, and I can rest easy now. I’ve had a bit of trouble with these types of fics before, mainly I just didn’t know how to write them. But I figured it out! Maybe. Sorta. I dunno, I kinda like it... ANYWAYS uh song bumps the rating up to a T, but there’s not really much else. You perform a song for Wilford after a long day! That’s it. Also Talking about Feelings at the end because I was feeling Angsty and wanted some Plot. It’s a long one dhwukcgfeywf anyways enjoy!

Word Count: 3.0k

Performing the Cell Block Tango for Wilford

You plopped down onto the living room couch and sighed. What a day! What a great, awful, stressful day. You loved Wilford, absolutely, but the man could be a handful.

You weren’t sure how it was possible for someone to have so many bullets in one gun.

In any case, you had to stop him from KILLING PEOPLE for a while before getting to come home.

You didn’t have the emotional capacity to be mad at this point. You really needed to wind down.

First, you should make dinner. Last time Wilford stepped foot in the kitchen the whole house went up in flames. You grabbed your phone and called to order take out.

You rubbed your eyes, suddenly feeling very tired. You shook your head, knowing if you fell asleep Wilford might kill the delivery person. You went to the bathroom.

You turned the sink faucet on and splashed your face a few times. You looked in the mirror at your soaking-wet face. God Wilford was so difficult to deal with. Well… he’d gotten better… but he still had a long way to go before you could even consider taking him anywhere. If he wouldn’t pull a gun on all the therapists you took him to maybe he’d have gotten a little better in the time that you knew him.

Now that Wilford was back on your mind, you thought of a way you could maybe relax.

You walked back to the living room and looked down at the phone that you’d thrown on the chair beside the couch. You looked up, not seeing Wilford anywhere. You took a deep breath, and decided you deserved a little performing. As a treat.

You pressed play on the song when you found it, and you stood up. You stood with your back to the music, facing the wall.

"Pop. Six. Squish. Uh-uh. Cicero. Lipschitz," you said quietly. "And now, the six merry murderesses of the Crook County Jail, and their rendition of the Cell Block Tango…"

You began moving your arms in rhythm to the song. A smile twitched at your lips. This might’ve seemed a bit silly to anyone else, but luckily, you were alone. Right?

Yes, Wilford went to go see Dark. You were absolutely, 100% alone.

In fact, you were so sure that you were alone that you didn’t hear Wilford walk into the room. He saw you… dancing? Were you dancing? He didn’t think you danced. You didn’t seem like the type to dance. He tilted his head to the side a little, about to ask what was happening, before hearing the music play from the phone and closing his mouth. He decided to stay quiet and just… watch.

The music began speeding up and you started to get really into it, moving around a lot. As the chorus got close, you turned around, only to find Wilford staring at you. He was standing in front of the couch, near your phone. You stared back at him, the heat of embarrassment rising in your cheeks. You prepared to shamefully walk away, to avoid him by taking a shower or saying you had to run to the store, to make sure he said nothing about this to you or anyone else.

But, Wilford seemed to have other things in mind.

Seeing you watch him like a deer in headlights, he thought there was something he should do in this situation, something to make you more comfortable.

With that in mind, he plopped down onto the couch, respectfully folding his hands in his lap, and looked at you expectantly.

Was that the right decision? Too late to take it back now. Hopefully it was.

You blinked for a moment before you got the memo and started moving again. You felt your skin burn in the still-present embarrassment as you continued your… well, it wasn’t quite dancing. Something along those lines, maybe. You expected Wilford to talk, laugh, comment, make any noise at all. But he just sat, watching you. You looked at him, nervous. He smiled brightly at you and you remembered that this was Wilford, dammit! The man loved you and would never wish any harm on you, physically or emotionally. And that’s when you decided to put a little trust in your boyfriend, and started to sing right as the chorus started up.

“He had it comin', he had it comin', he only had himself to blame… If you'd have been there, if you'd have seen it, I betcha you would have done the same! Pop! Six! Squish! Uh-uh! Cicero! Lipschitz! Pop! Six! Squish! Uh-uh! Cicero! Lipschitz!”

Wilford nearly got whiplash when you started to sing. Since when? Could you do this? You had never? You were also quite good, so… why didn’t he know?

You started getting more exaggerated and “angry” with your movements, which made Wilford smile. You looked like you were having fun(which you were) and he was happy about that. He also appreciated the few lyrics he processed over the look of joy on your face taking full control of his mind. He could relate to it, at least a little. He wondered if that’s why you liked the song…

He then realized that it probably wasn’t, but he liked the thought nonetheless.

“You know how people have these little habits that get you down? Like Bernie. Bernie liked to chew gum. No, not chew: pop! So I came home this one day, and I am really irritated and I'm looking for a little bit of sympathy. And there's Bernie, laying on the couch drinking a beer and chewing. No, not chewing: popping!” You were waving your arms around while telling the story, and got this angry look on your face at certain points. While making the face, you pointed at Wilford accusingly. He frowned at first, before remembering you were acting. And, damn, you were good at it! "So, I said to him, I said, "You pop that gum one more time..." And he did. So I took the shotgun off the wall and I fired two warning shots... into his head.” You made a fake gun with your hands and fake-shot at Wilford. He leaned back on the couch, put on a surprised look, and laid a hand over his chest, playing along. You smiled at him joyfully before going back to singing.

He bit his lip to not laugh, as you might’ve taken it the wrong way. He was just very… happy. And entertained with what was happening.

“I met Ezekiel Young, from Salt Lake City, about two years ago, and he told me he was single, and we hit it off right away. So, we started living together. He'd go to work, he'd come home, I'd fix him a drink, we'd have dinner. And then I found out. "Single," he told me? Single, my ass. Not only was he married, oh, no, he had six wives. One of those mormons, you know? So that night, when he came home from work, I fixed him his drink, as usual.” Wilford got a bit distracted at this point, just by you. Everything you were doing. The dancing, the acting, the singing, the smiles… you looked so happy. He wondered why you didn’t look like this more often. He wondered how he could get you to look like this more often.

He’d heard someone talk about karaoke at the store one day.

Could he do that? Could he buy a karaoke machine? Would you want a karaoke machine?

“You know... some guys just can't hold their arsenic.” He was snapped back to reality,(ope, there goes gravity) when you ruffled his hair harshly at the last line. He looked up at you again and found you were still smiling. He automatically smiled back.

“Now, I'm standing in the kitchen, carving up the chicken for dinner, minding my own business. In storms my husband, Wilford, in jealous rage.” You accidentally said “Wilford” instead of “Wilbur”. Who could blame you, honestly. To save it, you started acting like you were talking directly to Wilford instead of just a make-believe audience. Wilford, on the other hand, panicked a little when you said his name. It wasn’t the same name as the song said, so… what? He then came to the conclusion that you just wanted to get him to pay more attention.

"You been screwing the milkman," he says. He was crazy and he kept on screaming "You been screwing the milkman." And then he ran into my knife. He ran into my knife ten times.” You leaned towards him, got up in his face, and grabbed and shook his shoulders. Wilford just kind of… sat there and took it, since he didn’t know what he was supposed to do. He nodded a few times as well, seemingly a bit intimidated by you. It took much of your willpower to not break and start laughing at him.

His cheeks dusted a light pink because of how close you were getting to his face. He nearly leaned forward and kissed you, but caught himself. You were performing and he had no right to interrupt.

Still, your lips looked awfully kissable…

“If you'd have been there, if you'd have seen it, I betcha you would have done the same!”

You had to mentally prepare yourself for the Hungarian part. You took a breath to lower your heart rate and told yourself that even if you messed it up, it was fine. It was just Wilford.

“Mit keresek én itt? Azt mondják, a híres lakóm lefogta a férjem, én meg lecsaptam a fejét. De nem igaz. Én ártatlan vagyok. Nem tudom, miért mondja Uncle Sam, hogy én voltam. Próbáltam a rendõrségen megmagyarázni, de nem értették meg.” You had to suck in a breath and miss a few lines to get your brain back on track. “Uh-uh! Not guilty!”

Wilford was thrown completely off guard at the Hungarian and he stared at the phone. Where the hell did that come from? More confusingly, when he looked back at you, you seemed to be keeping up with the words, for the most part. Did you know Hungarian? Did you just know this part? You slipped up a few times but, hot damn, it was impressive.

You had this sad, innocent look on your face the whole time. One that made him wanna get up and hug you. But he didn’t because he knew that you were fine and you were acting and he was gonna let you finish this wonderful performance of yours even if it fucking killed him, goddammit!

Okay, he was being a little dramatic. Even so.

“My sister Veronica and I had this double act, and my husband Charlie traveled around with us. Now, for the last number in our act we did these twenty acrobatic tricks in a row. One, two, three, four, five, splits, spread eagles, back flips, flip flops, one right after the other. So this one night before the show, we're down at the hotel Cicero, the three of us boozing, having a few laughs. And we ran out of ice so I went out to get some. I come back, open the door, and there's Veronica and Charlie, doing number seventeen: the spread eagle! Well, I was in such a state of shock I completely blacked out, I can't remember a thing. It wasn't until later, when I was washing the blood off my hands, I even knew they were dead.” You decided you kick your leg up a little both times you mentioned spread eagles. Wilford shook his head, a little dumbfounded. He understood the implications in the song, and his face flushed darker. He wondered if you did too, because it just seemed like you did it for fun. In any case, he coughed into his hand quietly, as to not make you worry.

You look at Wilford, a bit confused, but he just gave you a thumbs up for you to continue. You smiled and kept doing what you were doing, not noticing how flushed he was.

“They had it coming, they had it coming, they had it coming all along! I didn't do it, but if I'd done it, how could you tell me that I was wrong?”

Wilford watched in utter fascination at how you were moving. If he didn’t know better, he’d say you choreographed this.

Well… he didn’t know what you did when he wasn’t home.

But you moved fairly fluidly through dances and you seemed to be on-tempo, even if the dances seemed random.

Random does not mean unplanned, he reminded himself.

He was also a little distracted from your dancing by the song, because it was making him feel emotions he wasn’t sure existed. He was determined to memorize your every move, however, so that would just have to wait until another day.

“I loved Al Lipschitz more than I can possibly say. He was a real artistic guy, sensitive, a painter. But he was always trying to find himself. He'd go out every night looking for himself, and on the way he found Ruth, Gladys, Rosemary and Irving. I guess you can say we broke up because of artistic differences. He saw himself as alive... and I saw him dead…” You stood pretty still for this part, since the song was almost over and you were feeling pretty tired. 7 minutes didn’t seem like a long time, but it’s different when you’re working out.

You did pace a little bit, while keeping your arm movement to a minimum. You felt your heart beating due to the exercise and also the anxiety of your boyfriend watching you.

You did make a last-second decision to boop his nose when you got to the last word. This made Wilford blink harshly and look up at you with a pout. Before you went back to your original spot in the room, you gave him a little kiss on the nose. That made him grin from ear to ear and dig his fingers into his legs. You bit back a chuckle and started up again.

“They had it coming, they had it coming, they had it coming all along! 'Cause if they used us, and they abused us, how could you tell us that we were wrong? He had it coming, he had it coming, he only had himself to blame! If you'd have been there, if you'd have seen it, I betcha you would have done the same!” You kept dancing the same as you did before, even though your legs were starting to burn, and you were having trouble keeping the same fluid movements. Some of them became a little more jerky and forced than you wanted them to.

Wilford noticed this and brought his arms up a bit, leaning forward in case you needed help. He figured you wouldn’t, but he didn’t want you cracking your skull open or anything.

He’d be very upset if you did that…

“You pop that gum one more time! Single my ass. Ten times! Miert csukott Uncle Sam bortonbe! Number seventeen: the spread eagle. Artistic differences…” You did all your previous movements for each woman’s line. Which included: The shotgun, throwing both hands above your head, getting in Wilford’s face, wiping a fake tear, kicking your leg, and shrugging, in that order. You were very out of breath and a bit disoriented, but that was okay because there was only a little bit left!

“Pop. Six. Squish. Uh-uh. Cicero. Lipschitz…” You ended the song by walking directly in front of Wilford and falling to your knees in front of him once you were sure the song had ended. You breathed heavily, feeling the tiredness from the day and the dancing catching up to you. You were about to ask Wilford “So, how bad was it?” before he slid to the floor and wrapped his arms around you. You froze, not knowing what was happening.

“You were fantastic,” He whispered. Which you thought was very strange because Wilford couldn’t speak lower than a yell, in your experience. You furrowed your eyebrows.

“Wil, what’s happening?” You asked, still out of breath. He squeezed you a little tighter.

“I just… wanted to show love to my partner?” He said hesitantly. You scoffed and hugged him back.

“Do you feel guilty because you embarrassed me?”

“Yes…”

“Wil, you’re fine, I promise.” You chuckled. He sighed and sat back. You looked at him and frowned.

“I…” He ran a hand through his hair and avoided looking at your face. “I… know I’m not the easiest to deal with and… I… I wanna… make you feel comfortable…”

“You do make me feel comfortable!” You took his hands in yours.

“But every time I’ve looked at you today you were always scared or angry!” He argued. You closed your mouth, not really having any argument.

“Mm…” You hummed.

“I… wanna… get better. I wanna be better. For you.” He grumbled. You smiled and twisted yourself around so you were sitting between his legs with your head resting on his chest. He laid his chin on top of your head.

“I think you’re perfectly fine.” You sighed.

“I don’t wanna be perfectly fine, I wanna be perfect!” He whined.

“Well, that’s an impossible goal.”

“Then… I wanna be perfect… for you.”

“That’s a better one.” You looked up at him and smiled. He smiled back, feeling a warmth spreading through his chest. You were listening. You understood.

And you loved him.

“Am I a good boyfriend?” He asked.

“Of course you are.” You snuggled into his chest.

“Can I kiss you?” He asked softly as he could. You squinted at him as he gave you his very best puppy eyes. You gave in, and gave him a peck. You could feel his arms waving around as he tried to decide what to do with them. Eventually, he placed them on the sides of your neck. You pulled back after a little and he stared at you adoringly.

“Don’t you look at me like that…” You warned.

“I love you…” He sighed and wrapped his arms around you, squeezing you tightly. You squirmed, trying to get out, but he didn’t move.

“Wilford…” You whined. “Lemme go! I ordered food!”

“Ok, I’ll let you go when the food shows up!” You huffed and let your body go limp as you succumbed to the hug.

You should’ve just cooked something.

#markiplier egos x reader #x reader #x male reader #x female reader #x gender neutral reader #wilford x y/n #wilford warfstache x reader #wilford warfstache x you #wilford x reader #wilford x gender neutral reader #x y/n #x you #x reader fanfiction

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seventhroses · 4 years

Text

☁️ Dreams

👩🏻 A/N: It's here! This is my first story! I just wrote it as I needed an outlet to get my mind off reality. Probably gonna write again? Idk 🤔Anyway I'm excited to share this! Not sure if it’s good BUT I hope anyone that gives it a go would enjoys it! 🥰

🌠 Geners: Fantasy, fluff, slight smut

📃 Word count: 4.9K

Since young, you always have a thing for dreams. You were told many stories of different people's dreams and you've always finds it fascinating on what goes on in there when your body shuts to recharged.

There was one in particular that had it imprinted in you till now. It was your grandparent's dreams. You can't believe that they actually met in their dreams and how their love unfolds into reality.

How can anyone dreamed of someone else when they've never cross path or see each other before? You always questioned.

You could never figure out no matter how many times they tell you their tales. But even so, it was the sweetest love story that you've heard and of course, seeing it through parts of their times, you were partially convinced that maybe dreams do come true.

As you get older, instead of popping colours of life, nightmares get the best of you. You eventually start sleeping lesser and lesser hours. Dreams were no longer the happy fluffy thing you did look forward to every night.

Today was the worst. It was one of those days, where you felt like everything was collapsing on you. This week have been so exhausting and you probably had less than 10hours of sleep in total. Having to deal with your sickening boss that always throws you with piles of urgent paper work that you end up OT till 1-2AM to finish, colleagues that act as if they're the only one that have a life outside of work and dumped their unfinished work on you.

Just when you thought things couldn't get any worst, you sprained your ankle while chasing for your last bus home tonight.

"How great.." you sighed while limping up the bus with your now sore ankle.

"Well at least, I managed to catch the bus…" Trying hard to comfort your miserable self as you found a seat and sat down.

You finally reached home after what seems like forever. Throwing your heels aside, you limped towards the kitchen to get some ice for your swollen ankle. Walking to the living room you plopped yourself onto the sofa, turning the TV on that you have no plans on watching. You find yourself staring into the ceiling, can't help but to question about your life.

Even though you're tired as hell, you can feel yourself fighting that tiredness, refusing to let another nightmare invade you tonight. But as the clock ticks away by the minutes, you know your fight is futile.

"If only.. I just wish for one good dream.. Just one, to end this miserable week" with that, you find your heavy lids closed as you fell asleep.

The next thing you know, upon opening your eye you saw the ray of morning sun shining into your room.

Checking the time on the clock,

"It's 11AM?!" Now, widely awake. "Did I just sleep through the night?"

Not remembering when's the last time you slept through the night without waking up with cold sweat or hyperventilating from the nightmare you had. Though, you weren't complaining. You were in fact longing for a good sleep like this.

You got out of your bed, slipping into your bunny slippers, ready to kicked start your day. You just felt really good and recharged from the long sleep. After washing up and making yourself a cup of coffee, you walk to the sofa and sat down, finding a comfortable position to plan how you should go about your day before having your best friend over tonight for dinner and movie.

While you were making plans, a suddenly feeling strikes you. Something doesn't add up, but you can't seem to put it into words.

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It's 1PM. You're dressed in your ripped jeans and cute smiley sweater ready for some shopping therapy and groceries shopping for tonight's dinner. You grabbed a pair of your most comfortable heels and skipped out of your apartment. You were in a good mood, stress free and you know that's not normal but again you're not complaining. You're going to enjoy it while it last and so you thought.

As you were going down the long flight of stairs towards the bus stop, you were impressed at how you managed to go up these 'stairs of hell' with your swollen ankle last night. That's when you realised, they aren't painful anymore. You were pretty sure it was swollen before you fell asleep but they seem perfectly fine now. You also remember falling asleep on the sofa and not in the room.

So, how did I get to the room? When did I changed into the pj? Now, lots of thoughts are flying in and you couldn't much process or find an answer to them. Are you that tired that you can't remember what you did?

"Be careful!!" A loud voice snapped you back into reality and you can feel a strong hand holding on to your arm.

Facing the stairs down, you're pretty sure that you will get more than just swollen ankle if it's not for this person. You turned your head around wanting to thank your saviour but came to face with a white tee and strong veiny arms that is holding on to you. You tilted your head up trying to see who's this perfect fitting body belongs to and there, you saw a pair of small worrisome eyes looking at you.

"Are you ok? Hurt anywhere?" he asked worriedly.

At that moment, you couldn't seem to find a word as you were too focus on looking at this charming looking gentleman in front of you.

Let's be honest, ever since you start adulting, life has been a struggle of paying off bills and dealing with your work life. You hardly even have time for yourself, so let alone finding yourself a partner to add on the struggle with.

The only male presence in your life other than your dad, is your childhood best friend, Lee Minhyuk. Well, he's called your best friend for a reason. You have been in each other's life for more than a decade and you know each other all too well. Also, knowing that there will probably be no peaceful day ahead if you guys were to even try. You and Minhyuk can't even decide on a movie together for movie night without bricking for at least 30 minutes and ended up having to tossed a coin to decide. Which, you think it's probably going to happen tonight too. So, it has never really cross both of your mind about developing your relationship into anything else more than what you guys are.

You did met a few people, go for a few dates before but that was in collage when you had the privileged of time. All that just seems so long ago.

Right now, having come face to face with this charming guy, it is sure to activate your needs for a new male presence in your life. Not to mention, this gentlemen in front of you, his visual is… let's just say, he's totally your type. With your 'love struck' expression which you probably are showing now, he figured that you should be ok.

"Hi, I'm Hyunwoo." Waiting for your answer while holding on to you as you steady your feet.

You noticed his expression changed to a shy and smiley eye, that would totally make anyone soft.

"Hi" … "I'm y/n." Quite sure you sounded like a robot.

A red one to be exact because you can feel yourself blushing hard and the distant between the both of you and his perfume smell is not helping at all. You can hear him chuckled. His hand is still on your arms. His warm palm on your skin certainly have you feeling the butterfly flying wildly in your stomach.

"Are you free for a coffee?" You blurted out of nowhere and a sudden realisation that you're thinking out loud, got you in panicked mode.

"I mean… I mean you just saved me from the probability of cracking my head like an egg... so.. " pausing and cursing yourself for the lame joke. Now, you just want to dig a hole and hid.

He laughed. "I like that" not sure if he said that out of courtesy, just so your now red af face wouldn't burst.

"and sure. I would love for a coffee with you, Y/n. "

You liked the way he calls your name. Like you never knew it could sound so sweet.

After the awkward invitation, Hyunwoo slide his hand down from your arm. Holding on to your hand now, he casually walks down the stairs. Going one step ahead of you as he leads you down. He turned his head to looked at you and smiled,

"Now, you don't need to worry about getting your head cracked."

You're very sure at that moment, your face was in tomato red as Hyunwoo holds your hand and walk towards the nearby café.

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"Do you stay around here?" You asked as the both of you set down on the sofa seating in the café.

"Yes, I just moved here recently and was exploring the neighbourhood. You stay around the area?"

"Yup. Not far from the 'stairs of hell'." Almost rolling your eye.

Hyunwoo let out an airy laughed "I totally know what you mean."

Taking the first sipped of his drink, he started making some sound. "Mmmm! Mmm! This is so good!"

His reaction makes you adore him. How can someone be so charming, gentle and cute all at the same time.

"Oh, what did you ordered?" you asked out of curiosity.

"Honey grapefruit tea! It's on the drink's special menu. It's so refreshing!" You smiled at him as he sounded so proud of his order.

"Do you stay alone?"

That question was definitely out of nowhere.

There was a short pause as you were a little startled by the intruding question. Hyunwoo probably felt that he might have make you uncomfortable, so he explained.

"Oh, don't get me wrong. Since I moved here alone, I just thought it would be nice to know people in my neighbourhood. But its ok! You don't have to answer if it makes you uncomfortable. I'm sorry for the sudden question." Looking apologetic and not sure if he sounded weird.

But somehow his explanation makes you feel comfortable enough to tell him, so you looked at him,

"It's ok, dont be sorry. And yes, I kind of stays alone. But I have this best friend of mine, that would come crushing every so often to check if im still alive. So i'm not sure if that counts." Again, cursing yourself for the lame joke but it's kind of true too.

Well, atleast your reply showed Hyunwoo some relieved as you can see the smile back on his face.

"It would be nice if we could have…"

Before you manage to hear finished his sentence, the whole place start to shake violently. You could hear someone calling your name very loudly, somewhere but you couldn't find the source. Scared as hell, you closed your eyes shut.

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When you opened your eye, you were in a dazed. Minhyuk is now on the sofa beside you and shaking you violently. You frowned, now back to your sense. You were quite sure if he were to continue shaking, you would have thrown up on him that instant.

"Babe! Back on earth?! You scare the hell out of me!" "What happen to you?!" "I came into the apartment and the first thing I saw is your dead body on the sofa!" "I mean lifeless. I mean.." As Minhyuk went on with his chains of words, you rolled your eyes at him. You can totally see that small smirked on his face.

You had given Minhyuk the password to your apartment on day one when you move in, as he was whining non-stop about it until you gave him the digits. Since the both of you are having movie night every other Saturday, so you though it did be more convenient to do so too. But Minhyuk always says, it's for your safety so he can come by to check on you and see if you're still alive and kicking. You just want to rolled your eye, knowing all too well it's for his own convenience, as he always comes over for free meals, if not when he wants to escape from his mom's nagging. But even so, you never really mind it because he would keep you accompany whenever nightmares start taunting you.

"What time is it now?" you asked.

"It's almost 7PM, y/n! And you are supposed to start cooking dinner at 6:30PM!" He shouted across the kitchen while getting you a glass of water.

You took the glass from him while trying to figure out what just happened.

"Are you having nightmares again?" Minhyuk asked with concern on his face.

"No, it's not a nightmare. In fact, it was a good dream." You paused.

"Well, at least it is until someone starts shaking me so violently, I thought there was an earthquake." You said to him with a somewhat annoyed tone now. He pouted.

You stood up wanting to get a quick shower because you're still in your yesterday's work clothes but your ankle give way. Now you remembered that you had sprained your ankle and it's still swollen. You realised what was not adding up. You were dreaming, that's why it wasn't hurting earlier.

And that guy in your dream, Hyunwoo.

Who is he? Have you seen him before?

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It’s been a month since you dreamt of Hyunwoo and you were hoping to dream of him again but instead, the whole nightmare routine starts bugging you instead.

Today, was no different as you find yourself fighting the tiredness to sleep. But after sometime, you finally can’t hold much longer and you fell asleep on the sofa. When you opened your eye and to your delight, you were at the same cafe, same sofa seat where you and Hyunwoo were at before.

"Hey, your coffee." Looking up, you saw that smiley eyes that you were missing so much, right in front of you.

"Hey.." You replied, fighting the urge to ask if he he's real. Afraid that it would break the spell to whatever is causing this dream.

You decided to throw the thought to the back of your head, as you have been waiting for this to happen ever since that day, you tell yourself to enjoy it well it last. So, you turned your focus back on him.

"How have you been?" You smiled while sipping on the coffee he got for you.

"I'm good. And I've been thinking about talking to you again" That sudden confession caught you off guard.

Has he been thinking about me? This is a dream, right? He's probably a reflection of what I've been wanting to hear from a guy.

Now you're very much convinced by yourself that all this are probably just in your head.

The both of you talked for a while, enjoying each other's company. It felt nice talking to Hyunwoo and you were hoping to talk for a little longer but a loud ringing sound woke you up.

Lazy hand searching for the source of the dreadful sound, you grabbed the alarm and turn it off. Looking at the time, it's now 5AM and you know you are back at the harsh reality of work week. A sigh leaves you as you drag your heavy body out of bed.

On the way to work, you can't help but be hopeful about dreaming of Hyunwoo again since the second time did happened.

Indeed, you found yourself seeing Hyunwoo in your dreams for the third, fourth and fifth time in a spent of 2 months. It always happens at the same cafe. The both of you would be seating at the same sofa seat, drinking the same drinks. Even though, there's no knowing to when you will be dreaming of Hyunwoo but when you did, he never fails to makes you happy and recharged. You start seeing yourself looking forward to sleeping and dreaming again. Something that you use to love before adulting. Not to mention, nightmare have been less frequent and you were feeling better every day. It was a good sign for you.

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And today you're dream again, the sixth time. But you found yourself at a different setting. It wasn't the usual cafe or the sofa seat that you always sat on. It was a place you are not familiar with. It was someone's home.

It was Hyunwoo's home to be exact. You can see his family picture framed up sitting on the kitchen's table. He was smiling so brightly in the picture and you can see where he probably gets his youthfulness from. You smiled because in front of you, stands a familiar back hovering over the stove.

"Your mum look so young and pretty." you said while admiring his back view.

He turned around sounded in agreement. Now turning towards you, you can't help but to admire this perfect looking guy, in his home clothes and combing his hair back with his hand. He wearing a white tee that hug his body perfectly, showing his chest muscles curve and broad shoulder and a pair of shorts that shows his long legs. Unaware of yourself checking him out so openly, he chuckled

"Enjoying your view huh?" he says jokingly as he turns back to cook.

You cough trying to hid your blushing face, "Ahem, are you cooking ramen?" "The legendary 'Hyunwoo's ramen'?" You giggled as you teased him.

"Yes, I promised its the real deal."

"Are you sure is that good?"

"Oh yes, it's that good that you would want for more." feeling challenged as he places the ramen in front of you.

"Go on, have a taste"

He leans in on the table, moving into your personal space as you took your first bite. You're trying to ignore his extremely close presence, not sure if it's the ramen or Hyunwoo that's making you all hot now.

"How is it? Good?" Staring at you earnestly, waiting for your feedback.

How am I supposed to concentrate and eating with him being so close?

In all honesty, he looks so yummy you just want to eat him instead. You can't help but blush so hard at your own desirable thoughts.

"Are you ok?" Hyunwoo asked as his hands feels your burning cheeks and his face just inches away from you.

Your face now so close to his. You looked at his so kissable lips and a sudden impulse urged you to slid forward and kiss him. You retreat back and shut your eyes, hoping to wakes up so you don't have to face the embarrassment from your action. But you didn't. Before you know it, you felt Hyunwoo lips clashing back on yours causing you to open your eye in a shock. That impulse and innocent kiss had turned into a heated open mouth kisses as Hyunwoo move his hand behind your head keep you closer. You felt yourself heated up from the action. You want more. He pulls away after a while, only to carry you up onto the table as he parted your legs to stand between you. He latched his lips back on yours and you swear you're feel all sorts of sensational feeling with what he was doing. Hyunwoo slowly moves his hand with lazy fingers gliding all over your body leaving hot trials and tingling feelings to where ever he passes. You can feel the shiver up your body and the tight knot somewhere inside of you wanting more of him.

He pulls you closer to him while moving down to your neck, giving you soft open kisses. You can feel his growing bulge pressing on your centre as he grinds up against you, cause you to make soft seductive moans that you never thought you're capable of making.

"Hyunwoo.." You murmur as you arched your back.

He tilted his head up to look at you, so done for him just from the kisses. You can see his pupils blown; eyes filled with lust. He wants you. Before you can think of anything, you shudder as you felt the sudden contact of his palm cupping your heated clothed centre. You moaned and that encouraged him to move further. He slipped his hand through the side of your shorts and pushing your panties aside. You hissed at him when he parts your folds and starts making circle at your swollen nub. You can't remember the last time someone had taken care of you like that and saying you were a moaning mess is an understatement. You moved your hand wrapping around his now fully grown budge, wanting to help him relief from the strain in his shorts. You can hear his low moaned when you start pumping him. He sounded so attractive, yet so sweet. Soon after, both of you were helping each other to chased your much needed high.

"Baby.." the sudden pet name got you closer to your high " I can't…" you curled your toe and shut your eyes, preparing for the rush that was going to come through.

But talk about bad timing.

As you opened your eye as you found yourself lying on your own bed. You rolled over, face pressed down and you screamed into your pillow venting out your frustration. You need to settle your sexual frustration. Reaching down to your panties which is now soak with aroused.

You sighed. "I want him."

You find yourself craving for Hyunwoo. While thinking of him, you settle your needs with the fate of your own fingers.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

2 weeks went by after that heated dream you had. The seventh didn't come.

"Just go to that damn cafe! It won't hurt anyone…" Minhyuk retorted over at the other side of the phone. Clearly annoyed at you talking about the cafe for the nth number of times over the months.

You had told Minhyuk about all your encounter with Hyunwoo in your dreams. Maybe not all, you did leave the sixth encounter out to save yourself some teasing that you would for sure get from him.

"I dont know. I mean they're dreams. I shouldn't let it bothers me so much." turning and twisting your hair on your finger while you talked.

You have been thinking of going to that cafe ever since the first dream but you couldn't find a reason to go. You make your own morning coffee so you won't willing to spend that extra money on coffee outside. Work also got the best of you, so you go only between your work place or home. Your life it's so exhausting, so during weekends you just wants to stay at home do your overdue laundry and spend the rest of the day sloth-ing.

Today, Minhyuk finally convince you to get out of your den and you both were planning to meet for lunch.

"How about you go there and get me a cup of coffee before we meet?" Minhyuk suggested. Clearly taking advantage of your dilemma but, it works. You were more convince to pop by the cafe for a reason.

"You're one smart ass." you can hear his sinister laugh, knowing that he succeeded in getting himself a free coffee.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Hi, welcome!" The girl behind the cashier smile as you walk through the door. In reality, you have never noticed this cafe before, so let alone visit it, but it felt familiar. The interior and the seating were the same as what you could remember from your dreams. You look at the menu board for a while, even though you know you would probably get an ice coffee to satisfy your caffeine needs as you didn't have one in the morning. But you saw 'Honey grapefruit tea" on the drink’s special menu and without much thinking you ordered it along with Minhyuk's ice coffee. You set down at the same sofa seat that you and Hyunwoo had sat on in the dream, while waiting for your orders.

Your phone vibrates.

TheannoyingBFF: Hey babe! Please dont kill me!

TheannoyingBFF: Hyungwon car broke down and he needs me to find him

You: ...

TheannoyingBFF: I'll buy you dinner tomorrow

TheannoyingBFF: I PROMISE!

You: You better!

You: Be glad that I'm still at the cafe and not on my way

TheannoyingBFF: I'm sorry and I love you!

You: I would've killed you

You: along with hyungwon

TheannoyingBFF: Hope you will bump into him, so my sin can be off set *Praying emoji*

You: ...

You: Bye

You grabbed your drinks when your order tag buzz and went back to the sofa seat. Having your plans cancelled and with no back up, you decided to stay in the cafe for a while. This cafe makes you smile. You were happy when you're there, so it naturally makes you feel good.

You took a sip of the new drink and with an impressed look, you mumble to yourself “Waoh, it's indeed nice and refreshing." Continue drinking, you stare at Minhyuk's ice coffee that is place in front of the empty seat, you thought to yourself how lonely this makes you look. Like you've been bumped or something and this makes you feel like cursing at Lee Minhyuk.

'Ting Ting' the doorbell of the cafe rang. You didnt react to it as it has been sounding out quite a few times. While you continue to scroll through your feed, a familiar voice started talking.

"Hi, is this seat taken?" Looking at you and gesturing at the empty seat in front of you.

You looked up, couldn't believe by the person standing in front of you. You start looking around and find the cafe seat all packed, so you turned back to him "Erm.. No" while you kind of avoid looking at him as you try to calm your nerves and trying hard not to show that "love struck" expression.

He smiled and thank you as he set down. You moved the cup of now showing two layered coffee away, so he can have his space.

After a minute or so, his order tag buzzed and he stood up to get his drink. Your eye followed him as he went over to the counter. When he got his drink, you notice the table at the far end were about to leave and you can feel a slight disappointment in you, thinking that he would move to that available seats.

But to your surprise, you see him walking back towards you.

"If you don't mind, I did love to seat here. Is that ok?" His requested makes you smile.

"I don't mind. Please seat."

Both of you were quiet for a while, looking at your individual phones when you decided to break the silence.

"Do you stay around here?"

A sudden Goosebumps came to you as you asked the same question, at the same place, same spot.

He looked at you and with a soft smile, not questioning or looking at you weirdly.

"Yes, I just.."

before he finished his sentence, you were mumbling under your breathe, like you already know what he would probably say.

"..moved here recently and was exploring the neighbourhood."

He now looked at you with wide eyes but somehow it doesn't look like he was spooked by you but rather a sense of realisation. Like you know his secret.

He grabbed your hand and rushed out of the cafe, bring you to the 'stairs of hell'. That very spot when he first met you.

"Do you know this spot?" trying to search for an answer from you.

"Yes" is all you say, as you're trying to process the situation here.

He grins, showing his teeth and his eyes turned into a smiley eye that were so familiar with.

"This is real right?" you couldn't help but asked.

Because at this moment, you were just confused and happy all at the same time. Hoping that this could be real and not wakes up to nothingness again.

"It is." "Let's do this all over again." Not sure what he means by his words, you waited.

"Hi, I'm Hyunwoo. Nice to finally meet you." he stretched out his hand wanting for a handshake.

You couldn't help but to smile and hug him instead. The guy that you have been thinking of, debating if he is real or just fantasy, is right in front of you.

"Hi.. I'm y/n" you murmur as you can feel the tears that trapped in your eyes threatening to fall out.

He hugs you back and you could hear him say "Thank you for finally going to that cafe."

You look up at him "Did you go to that cafe frequently, hoping that you could meet me?" You're certain your face is now showing that 'love stuck' expression as you ask that question.

"Yes" is all he said as he held your arms and gave you a kiss on your forehead.

That moment, knew you're the one that needs to buy Minhyuk a meal and you can't love him enough for giving you the reason to go to the cafe.

"Shall we continue where we left off?" He whispered softly into your ears and turns to look at you with a goofy smile.

You can feel your face burning as he reached down to kissed you on your lips.

Having to experience ‘real dream’ yourself, you now truly believed your grandparents dreams and that some dreams really do come true.

#monsta x #fanfic #monsta x fanfic #mosta x shownu #hyunwoo #monsta x minhyuk #minhyuk #lee minhyuk #son hyunwoo #monsta x fluff #monsta x smut

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orionsangel86 · 4 years

Note

I'm tired of this discussion about Saileen or Samwena. Why can't be both? I recognize the potential that Sam and Rowena had for a romantic relationship, they really seemed to be going in that direction, and as Rowena said, they'd grown fond of each other. But I also recognize the potential that Sam and Eileen have for a romantic relationship, for reasons that we all saw at s11, s12 and s15. What do you think?

Hi there!

Is this discussion still ongoing? Since I have blocked it all out to be honest and refuse to engage in drama on the topic. But since you asked I will give you my thoughts on the whole Saileen/Samwena thing.

First of all I like your thinking! Why not both indeed! I don’t care for shipping wars but here’s the way I see things. I have never been a “death of the author” kind of person. My whole process for writing meta is what I think the writers and creators of the show are intending to convey when they tell the story that we see. In season 11, Eileen was introduced as a clear love interest for Sam. She has always been portrayed this way even after her untimely death (which I still believe only happened because they didn’t have any other close characters to the brothers at the time to kill off whose actors they could get last minute and whose death would be equally shocking - I know it’s just speculation but it’s my belief). I wrote a long post here about my love for Saileen and how it has been portrayed in the show. I am firmly still a Saileen shipper because it was just perfect from the start, but also I only ever “ship” things that I see within the show as being planted purposely by the creators. I ship Saileen because Saileen has always been a thing ya know? It’s not imaginary and never has been.

However, following Eileen’s death in Season 12, Sam and Rowena’s relationship has been heavily developed on. They bonded over their shared Lucifer trauma, their experiences with fear and their interest in magic. The relationship between them is complex and very much an enemies to friends (to something more?) set up. Sam is canonically Rowena’s protege and now her heir. The mutual respect they hold for each other is clearly noticeable and their destinies tied by fate through Billie’s death books could arguably be considered romantic. Basically, Sam and Rowena as a love story is certainly a dramatic and interesting one that ticks a lot of boxes for a lot of people. I do believe that for a time, the writers flirted with the idea of them as a romantic pairing and that there was clear authorial intent to code their relationship in a romantic way. Especially in seasons 13 and 14. Whilst I never “shipped” Samwena, I guess I saw it the way I see Drowley. I believed that it was being intentionally written with romantic undertones. I was all for it as a romantic pairing, have never been against it, but it didn’t feel me with “feels” either I guess. I love both Sam and Rowena individually, and whether the story took them in a romantic direction or not wouldn’t have bothered me. Had Eileen never come back, I would have squee’d and enjoyed it with the rest of you, even if I wasn’t super invested ya know?

I think a lot of people saw their relationship as romantic after the Billie death book reveal. It was a nice idea that Rowena’s “death” at Sam’s hands might be a metaphorical death where she would choose to give up her immortality for him. (It’s also an idea generally adored by Destiel shippers so it’s not surprising that this was something people got excited about).

Unfortunately this idea didn’t pan out and Sam literally had to kill Rowena. I am one of the people who really loved her death scene, because it felt like a true redemption and moment of empowerment for Rowena. I know that there are people who will disagree with me on that and that is absolutely fine. I guess for me, Rowena making that ultimate sacrifice just felt right for her character journey at that point because true redemption was something she still needed. Rowena was always previously an anti-hero character. She had still done a lot of bad and hadn’t really repented or redeemed herself for the bad she had done in the earlier seasons. She was still generally motivated by selfish desires and still pretty much made decisions for herself, though like Crowley, her respect and care for the Winchesters conflicted with her own selfish motivations and in the later seasons she chose to help them even at risk to herself, which put her well on her way to redemption of course. But this death was her actual redemption. Her true sacrifice, purely selfless deed, in order to not only save the Winchesters, but also the world.

Therefore I see her rise to power again as Queen of Hell as a reward for her sacrifice and redemption. I never believed that 15x03 was the last we’d see of her (too much womb and maternal imagery there). I believe that Queen of Hell is a satisfactory end point for her, having reached her full potential and freeing herself of all the former oppression and bindings that she faced. She is now one of the most powerful beings in the universe along with Chuck, Amara, Billie, the Empty, Eve, and Jack. It’s a position that makes sense for a character who has always desired unlimited power.

I also think that Rowena will continue to be a big player in the story. This definitely isn’t the last we’ve seen of her in terms of fighting the final boss battle, but her position as Queen of Hell I do think will remain a fixed position from here. Though if it isn’t, and the writers have something else wonderful in store for her, I will also be happy with that too.

Given that canonically Sam and Eileen desire and want each other, and are only being separated by Chuck (and look, I’m not gonna get real deep into it, but I felt that 15x09 did go far to stress that whilst Chuck set up the reunion because he wanted “romance” in his story, the feelings, the connection, and everything else between Sam and Eileen is 100% real. Sam textually states that it’s real after all (in a nice and also emotionally destroying mirror to Cas saying the same thing to Dean in 15x02 by the way - Forever a Destiel shipper here :P)) it is logical that Sam and Eileen will reunite and rekindle their romance at some point in a coming episode. I am of the belief that Saileen is probably our endgame here. I don’t think that they would have gone to the trouble to bring Eileen back in the final season, make her a love interest for Sam, only to either kill her off, kill him off, or separate them again and not have them be endgame.

But I could be totally wrong. Could Sam and Rowena still reunite and start a new love connection? Sure it’s possible. Rowena is coming back as well I would put money on it. We don’t know how the show plans to end after all. Who knows, maybe Sam will also sacrifice himself and go to hell and that whole Boy!King dropped story arc from season 3 will finally get picked up again! Sam and Rowena as Queen and consort of Hell could be quite an amusing and somewhat fitting end for them! The two characters who suffered most at Lucifer’s hands taking over and ruling Hell as a big fuck you to their tormentor is certainly poetic.

Maybe Supernatural will go super progressive and send Eileen to Hell too. Maybe the Queen will find herself in a loving polyamorous threesome for the rest of eternity?

Wouldn’t it actually be really fun if Supernatural ends with Castiel choosing humanity, and saying goodbye to his son Jack, who takes over the rule of Heaven, and at the same time Dean chooses to stay on Earth, and says goodbye to his brother (aka son) Sam, who takes over the rule of Hell as consort to the Queen in his new polyamorous relationship with both the Queen and his girlfriend? Dean and Cas live out a happy human life knowing they are the proud parents of the new rulers of Heaven and Hell?!?

Lol. Look I’m just trying to find a compromise here that all Samwena and Saileen shippers can agree on and if there is one thing we can all generally agree on it’s that Dean and Cas need to stay together whatever happens and fuck it out on the map table. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I’m joking of course. (or am I?!?)

So yeah. I follow people who are passionate Samwena shippers, and I follow people who are passionate Saileen shippers. I consider them all people who I care about and respect. I just want everyone to get along and if a polyamorous love threesome in Hell is how we go about that then I am totally down for that. :D

I haven’t got beef with anyone regardless of who they ship with who unless they plan to start harassing people for holding a different opinion, but I’ve already blocked all those people anyway. It makes for a much easier life. Trust me. :P

#saileen #samwena #destiel #sam x eileen #sam x rowena #sam winchester #rowena #eileen leahy #season 15 #spn speculation #spn meta #witch queen of hell #shipping wars #my thoughts #asks #anon #Anonymous

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syncron554 · 5 years

Text

Hey everyone

Hey everyone. Let me start off by saying I'm aware only about two people are ever going to read this, but I feel this is something I need to do. For myself, if for no one else.

Lately, I've been a place where I feel that I am simotaneuously just fine and not doing well at all. Let it be know that I do not take therapy, so this is going to be a really long and in-depth post about my personal life as a way of venting. If you feel like hearing it, please read ahead.

For the last 2 or 3 years, I've experienced odd symptoms on and off, and I don't understand them nor pay them much mind. Be it irritability or chest tightness, you name it. I also haven't had a doctor in 8 or 9 years, because the American health system is the bane of my exisitance.

(😧)

Anyway, in the last few months, I've started feeling worse than I ever have before. Although I'm in the midst of debately "enjoying" my summer, I'm left with anxiety or exhaustion on most days.

On Saturday, when I went to check my Tumblr notifications, like everyone else, I was stunned at the news of Cameron Boyce's passing. At first, I believed it was just a prank or a joke, but when I checked Twitter (where I usually go for news), I knew it was real. I suddenly felt a hole in my chest and I felt so off-kilter. Nothing felt right. I tried not to let it affect me because I knew I didn't even know him well. Suffice to say, that ended in me bawling my eyes out and not being able to sleep, the more I thought about it and the more tributes I saw.

I was only able to stop myself when I realized that Cameron wouldn't have wanted to look down on the world and see them in pain at his loss. He would have wanted us to remember him and honor his projects, like his work in Jessie where we all saw him grow up with us, his work in Descendents where we all rolled our eyes and wished we had a friendship like the Core Four, or his work for good causes such as the Thirst Project that we all admired even if we couldn't donate.

Since then, I have felt mostly numb when hearing anything about his passing, but I still dwell on it constantly and occcasionally shed some tears.

What hit me so hard was that his passing was so sudden, that no one could have seen it coming, and he's just gone, that quickly. I always try to value what I have while I have it, and I tell my loved ones to be safe and that I love them whenever they leave me, because I don't want to wake up one day and see that they're gone without saying goodbye.

But what really hurts me is that some days, even though I'm so tired, I'm actually afraid to go to sleep because I feel I won't wake up again to see another day. I'm much too young to be thinking about my own mortality, but it's all I can think of. Cameron didn't get to say goodbye to his family and friends, he only said goodnight, and they couldn't say good morning.

I'm in so much pain at the thought, and I don't know what to say. I hope I'll be given the chance to say goodbye, but I don't know when my time is. I don't think I'm afraid of leaving though, and maybe that's worse.

Anyway, I'm sorry to have depressed you or stressed you out. I hope we can all get through this hard time together.

I love this fandom so much, because we can all support and lean on each other. I would especially like to thank @bunny-lou , @disney-princess-sized , @unapologeticallyjaylos , @xzeroqueen , @davidelizabethbowiestrider , and @umaoftheisle for making this fandom so special and welcoming for me, and I wish you all well in your grieving processes.

If I can bring myself to have the energy, maybe I will start to write again in Cameron's honor.

Please hug and give love to your loved ones everyday. In true Cameron fashion, strive to be a better person everyday and make yourself someone everyone would miss. Take your journey one day or one hour at a time.

Thank you so much. Thank you for reading, and please stay safe. I love you guys.

#cameron boyce #venting #long post #grieving #personal post #carlos de vil #jaylos

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serensama · 5 years

Note

Hi April! I know I should've messaged you instead of dumping my feelings in the ask box but something about animosity comforts me. It's not that big of a concern. Just that right now I'm at the stage where my work ethic really matters. I'm about to go to University, which means that I have to work very hard (I'm trying to get into medicine). But for the most of my life, I've just gotten by without working hard. (1/?)

Hello Darling, I understand :) And luckily it is something that may help others if I answer it as a non-direct message type thing so it’s all good sweetie! I completely and utterly understand where you are coming from. I’ve literally been there. In high school I never had to try hard at anything, I got good grades because for me the work was easy and I could pass by without true hard work. That is not to say I didnt study because I did and I was very good at it, but for the type of marks I received and the minimal effort I actually put in- it definitely wasn’t equal. Hence when I went into university I stupidly believed it was the same story, imagine my surprise when I got my first paper back and it was a credit and not a distinction or high distinction. I was floored. And when I received a PASS for statistics (and i mean JUST PASSED BY THE SKIN OF MY TEETH DO I HAVE TO FLASH MY PROFESSOR TO GET A HIGHER GRADE KIND OF PASS!?) WHAT ON EARTH? YOU MEAN I HAVE TO… TO… TRY?! REALLY TRY!? It’s not a bad thing, to be taken down a peg or two. To realise that for your dreams sometimes you have to sweat and cry and work at it until you reach your dream. But I promise you honey, it will be worth it. If this is the path you want you will get it. Even if you fail to get into the course you want to get into- i PROMISE YOU- there is a way in, even if it means you have to work harder and take the longer route. You need to realise that failure doesn’t mean the end of the line, it just means the end of the line to that particular path. There are so many left untravelled, believe me. Perhaps you can do a makeup test or extra credit somewhere to make up for the recent test. Ask your teacher if there’s something you can do if it really upsets you and if by chance there is not, its something that makes you stronger and makes you want to work harder to never feel again. Though i feel I need to reiterate, failure isn’t a bad thing so dont be too afraid of it, although i understand the stress of it during schooling. In regards to the drama around you- heck, enjoy it, but don’t get caught up into it. If you’re somewhere in the middle thats okay! Get lost in the crowd of idiots around you and keep your mind focused on what you want. I promise there will always be drama wherever you go, the only difference are the players are different and vary in age. It’s still enthralling to me to see middle aged men and women play at being in High school drama life at work… i wish I had popcorn half the time. Do I know about the drama? Of course. Do i care? Do I let it affect me? Never. The one thing I do want to seriously touch upon is the overly critical parents. Grade conscious parents. I come from a family who was so expectant of good results that when I received an A+++ for a maths test or history paper, they would nod and say good or ‘as it should be’. I never received the “Wow! That’s amazing! You worked hard for that (okay i didn’t but still would have been nice to hear it) Well done!” so I figured that if I got anything less than an A that their disappointment would kill me, that they would love me less. That’s just not true. They may have been surprised or concerned but their love for me wouldn’t change and they may expect me to work harder to pick up the slack but they wouldn’t let their perception of me change just because of a grade. If your parents are literally working you to the bone you need to sit them down and talk to them, truly. There are children all over the world over working themselves to the point of stress, fatigue and depression- to the point of suicide. I’m not saying that’s where you are, but its somewhere that too many kids are nowadays. Every single parent who lost their child because they got bad grades or were too stressed out will tell you- it was never worth it. Their child’s happiness and lives were worth more than a good grade or entry into university. You need to take a break. It is important. Your brain can not function if it is too tired and stressed. Information will not process properly and you will forget everything you’re desperate to remember. You need to sleep and exercise and eat well. If your parents are really invested in your future they need to know this. If it will please them, and help you- make a schedule. Seriously. In a planner whether it be daily or weekly- write out what youre going to study in a day and for how long- but be sure to pen in time for yourself. A day, half a day where you can just watch tv or read for fun or go out with friends. Something entirely not academic related. Show your parents and yourself you are committed to your future and in doing so are creating a healthy study/life balance. Making sure that in between study sessions whether it be an hour or hour and a half- take a quick 5/10 minute break. Reward yourself. Also its been seen that the brain cant keep doing the same thing for too long or the efficacy diminishes. So take a break and relax and stretch! I used to go onto social media or perhaps watch the other half of the anime i was watching (id watch one episode over two or so hours so it gave me something to look forward to in between breaks hehe) just so my brain could have some down time :)

I guess what i’m saying without all that waffling on is

1- Grades and university are not the be all and end all. You can get to where you want to go if you want to, there are different avenues and you can always discus that with your teachers, guidance counsellors and universities themselves!

2- Parents want you to talk to them, show them you’re serious and responsible and that you need some time off once in a while so you can perform your best!

3- You got this honey, I know you do. You will be just fine.

4- You can always come to me if you need to talk.

5- Take care and good luck!!!

#not writing #april answers #thank you nonny #general talk #school talk #you got this honey #i wish you the best of luck!

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im-always-fangirling · 6 years

Text

I'm Fine - Chen Li Nong

A/n: Actually, I've been itching to write something for this little smol bean since a while ago. ❤️ I'm so glad that he seems happier in the recent episodes and I sincerely wish only the best for him. Anyways, this is my first time writing something on tumblr so yepp, hope ya'll like it.

Summary: When things get too overwhelming , he's just glad that you're there for him

Words: 1565 words.

Genre: angsty (but not too much?) + fluff

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You woke up in the afternoon feeling all drowsy. Thankfully, it was the weekend, so you had no classes to attend.

The lights in your room were too bright for you to handle right after you wake up and you silently cursed when you realize you might have accidentally increased the electricity bills, along with the rate of yourself getting skin cancer.

Yet, remembering the reason you didn't switch off the lights in the first place had made you smile and with that, your sour mood faded away.

Last night, you were on the phone with one of your favorite human beings on Earth - Chen Li Nong.

He came back from Bei Jing yesterday and just like he promised, he had called you the moment he returned to home.

You two spoke for a bit on the phone and then switched to texting when it got too late at night because the both of you didn’t want to bother your families’ sleep.

While texting, you made sure your lights were switched on because he insisted it, saying that staring at your phone in the dark would spoil your eyes and since he was speaking from experience, you decided to take to his advice.

However, like always , you were the first to fall asleep while exchanging midnight texts with him.

You looked around your bed for your phone and found it under the pillow. You couldn’t help but smile at the baracade of texts he sent you after you fell asleep, one of them being a reminder to call him the moment you wake up.

Of course, that’s what you did after reading the sent text. It took a while, but you finally heard a click.

“Hey hey, you’re awake.”

“Mm, and I’m surprised you are too.”

You heard him chuckle from the other side of the line and that made you smile as well.

His chuckle suddenly came to a halt and you heard distant murmurs from the phone. You tried staying quiet and also to listen to what was going on, but you still failed to grasp the situation at the other side of the line.

Then, there was quiet sigh before he whispered to the phone hastily, “Um sorry, I’m a bit busy right now, is it alright if we meet up tonight?”

So, you and Li Nong quickly set the time and place of your sudden meet up.

Then, you were left at the other side of the line, feeling a bit worried for him after you both exchange your quick ‘goodbye’s.

Actually, 'worry' is sommething familiar for you by now.

In fact, you’ve been worried ever since antifans started spreading nasty rumours about Li Nong.

He hasn’t mention anything about that though, only telling you nice things like how awesome everyone is, how kind the staffs are and how he enjoyed his time there.

So, you decide not to think much about it and occupied yourself with other stuffs whilst waiting for time to pass.

And soon enough, time did pass and it was time for you to head out of your house to the usual place you two hang out.

When you see a familiar tall figure ahead, wearing his trademark yellow sweater, you immediately started to run to him.

Your footsteps weren’t the most quiet ones, so he didn’t take long to notice them. He turned around out of curiosity, only to be suddenly engulf into a big bear hug. He laughed heartily and thought that you were adorable, hugging you back just as tight.

You buried your face into his chest and his scent surrounded you in a way that made you feel light and dizzy.

“I miss you.” He spoke softly before proceeding to give you a soft kiss on your head.

This made you smile, and you had to pull yourself away from his chest so that you could take a look of the face you’ve missed.

The first thing you notice was his eyes. Li Nong was staring at you with the usual way he does and you swear you were going to choke and die from how much affection his eyes were drowning you in.

Still, you also noted that his dark circles were more prominent and he had lost some of his baby fats.

Honestly? He looked exhausted.

“You alright?” you asked worriedly.

He continued staring at your face for a long while before smiling and lying straight into your face, “I’m fine.”

“Tell me, what are you feeling right now?” you tried again.

“I’m happy, because I get to see you.”

You softened at his reply, knowing that it held some truth to it, “Me too, but I know that there’s something’s wrong.”

“I’m just kind of tired.”

“Not getting enough sleep?”

“Mm.”

By then, you both were holding hands and walking through the park that held many of your memories.

After a moment of silence, Li Nong spoke again, “Have you heard anything about me?”

With that, your heart broke a little as you remembered the horrible things people said about him.

He stopped walking and turned to you to observe your face, worry evident in his eyes.

“They’re not true.” he told you, sincerity overflowing from his words.

You gave his hand a squeeze as a sign of assurance, "I know."

The worried look on his face didn't change and so you tried once again , "I know you, you're nothing like those stupid rumours. And if anyone cares to know the true you, they won't either, because those rumours don't define you."

"But the thing is, there are people who actually believe them. And I know I shouldn't bother with what they say but it's really hard not to let it affect me. And it makes me question whether I even deserve to be among the current top nine."

You kept quiet and listened , noting that his voice held deep sadness to them. Looking at his face, you also could see stress taking a huge toll on him.

You let go of his hand. Then, with your two hands, you cupped his face and tilted it downwards so that he was looking right into your eyes.

"You've worked very hard, and even if those people can't see how hard you've worked, I do. And it's not only me, your family who loves you does too. Not to mention, you have your fans full support. Believe me, I have seen brave fans standing up for you and also kind fans that never stop encouraging you."

You gave him a reassuring smile, "Whether or not you deserve to be on the top nine, no one can say anything about it because there are people voted for you to be there, alright?"

"Yeah, but-"

You interrupted him by squishing his cheeks, "Look, everyone has their own reasons of why they like you. It doesn't matter whether it's because you are attractive or because you are talented, those are their reasons and you couldn't force them to think otherwise, okay?"

He took a moment to process your speech and looked at you with uncertainty. Still, you do not look away, trying to assure him that everything you said were nothing but truth.

And once again, you prompted him to accept your word vomit filled with underlying flattery.

"Okay?" You asked gently, hoping to get your point accross.

His facial expressions softened and the corners of his lips lifted up into a small smile, "Okay" he replied as he nodded.

And you slowly rubbed his face with your thumb, "Now that's the smile that I love."

Li Nong smiled from ear to ear at the sound of your comment, but felt a bit bashful. You , on the other hand, felt butterflies in your stomach. A warm feeling slowly settled in your heart as you both kept eye contact with each other.

You loved how Li Nong was somehow still kind of shy when he was already in a relationship with you.

Then, you noticed the way his gaze briefly lowered to your lips and you felt all jittery when he looked back up to you.

"I want to kiss you." He stated, as a matter of fact.

He gently wrapped his hands around your waist, stepping closer to you and yet still not tearing his eyes away from you, "Um, may I?"

You loved how he was so polite about it. You didn't want to be too shy, but somehow Li Nong holding you in his hands had melted your insides. Not trusting yourself to speak, you nodded meekly.

He smiled and leaned forward, letting his lips meet yours. You felt like you were going crazy with how soft his lips were on yours, and even more when his lips lingered as he pulled away.

The two of you looked at each other for a while before bursting into small giggles, never looking away from each other.

His eyes shimmered with adoration for you, and he kept his hands around you securely.

At that moment, Li Nong knew exactly what he wanted for the future. He wanted to wake up every-day with you in his arms and he wanted to always be able to have you near to him.

With you by his side, he sincerely believes that everything will be fine and somehow, everything will get even better.

#chen li nong #chenlinong #chen linong #linong #li nong #nongnong #idolproducer #idol producer #idol producer scenarios #idol producer scenario #idol producer imagines #idol producer imagine #voteforhim

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mysticalmistake · 7 years

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Um hi... sorry I'm rather new to this fandom and I'm also very awkward; If requests are open... could you possibly do RFA + Minor, getting very sick (not like deadly sick) and MC attempting to take care of them? If not I get it; Thank you anyways^^

Oh yeah I forgot this blog was for writing -After after endings- ~Mod L

Yoosung ♡ Thankfully he was a bit more mature than when you first met him so that when Seven told him he had a month left to live he didn’t believe him♡ Or at least didn’t believe him for very long ♡ He was a bit sheepish when he asked you for help to take care of him, but he wanted you there for him ♡ And thank god he did because he got sicker than he thought he would’ve ♡ He has grown up a lot, but couldn’t help but become a bit immature when he was sick ♡ The last time he got this sick was when he was a kid, so he couldn’t help but fall back into that when he was sick again ♡ Which meant he complained about how sick he felt, and he needed a lot of attention♡ You happily took care of him, and he was so grateful you did ♡ He joked once about how backwards it was from his work, with him now being on the receiving end of care ♡ But he’d be lying if he said he didn’t secretly enjoyed you taking care of him ♡ Once he was all better he was a bit ashamed of how much he whined but you reassured him it was okay ♡ He took you out to a very lovely dinner as soon as he could to say both thank you and he’s sorry for how he acted

Zen ♡ He insists you don’t have to help him ♡ He’ll be all happy and healthy within the week!♡ But that doesn’t change the fact that right now he’s worst than he is around Elizabeth the 3rd♡ He’s not amused when you say that♡ Despite being sick he’ll still try to do things, like go out or if he has a role practice ♡ You basically have to monitor him all the time to make sure he actually rests ♡ You make his living room a small cozy sick haven for him ♡ There’s plenty of blankets, cold medicine, tea, and anything else he’d want ♡ And you!♡ Once you have this all made up he’s much more wiling to relax ♡ He tries to say it’s not because he’s sick but because it’s to spend time with you ♡ He doesn’t even believe it himself but he’ll say it anyways ♡ Once he’s all better he’ll thank you for taking care of you, even when he was so stubborn

Jaehee ♡ She’s used to taking care of others, so it’s strange for her to need someone else’s help so much ♡ But she is so thankful you’re there for her ♡ She’ll try to work while sick, or feel guilty that you can’t watch the cafe because you’re watching over her ♡ You reassure her that you have plenty of talented staff and not to worry ♡ To make her stop stressing you have to put on some of Zen’s movies ♡ While she’s watching you brewed her some tea and joined her while watching ♡ You picked up on some of her maternal habits so you always had fresh, washed blankets, rags to cool her head, medicine right on the second she was suppose to take them ♡ She hated being sick, but being with you and with how much you cared for her made it bearable♡ She was impressed and so grateful ♡ She made a mental note to treat you to a very nice dinner once she was all better to thank you for everything you did for her

Jumin♡ When his doctor told him he couldn’t do anything but take some antibiotics and wait, he was a bit grumpy ♡ He had a job to do, a very important one, and didn’t like that he couldn’t do anything to speed up the process♡ All he could do was stay in his penthouse, with his doctor coming over to check on him just twice a day ♡ He considered having someone there more often to monitor him but then you told him you would absolutely be there ♡ Knowing you were there calmed him down a bit ♡ He almost never got sick, and was shocked he was now ♡ The first day of taking care of him was really just trying to get him to be less grumpy ♡ But after that day he felt less grumpy and more thankful for you being there ♡ And a little guilty about being so pouty when you were taking care of him♡ He accepted that he was sick and couldn’t do anything about it but relax and wait ♡ While you were taking care of him he tried to get a nurse to help you since you shouldn’t be doing all this by yourself♡ You tried to insist you were fine, but just had to hide his phone from him while he took a nap ♡ His doctor said his sickness healed at a fairly normal rate, but his morale was surprisingly high for someone so sick ♡ It was unsurprisingly thanks to you, and he buys you about 100 thank you gifts once he’s better

Seven♡ He’s so dramatic ♡ “Babe!! I googled what’s going on. I think I only have a few days left. Tell my children I love them”.♡ He was referring to his cars ♡ You weren’t amused and that made him laugh really hard, which made him cough even harder ♡ While you were taking care of him it was hard to judge how sick he was because of all his jokes♡ You knew he didn’t have two days before his face would melt away but he kept saying it and it distracted you from actually finding the problem ♡ Thankfully Vanderwood went out and bought him the right medicine then left as quickly as he could ♡ Seven felt miserable on the inside so he couldn’t stop joking around hoping it would make it better ♡ But every laugh turned into a cough ♡ For once you were able to convince him to just relax and quit messing around, and he reluctantly obliged ♡ He laid back on his couch, and you brought him a light blanket, a pillow, a rag to cool his head, and something warm to drink with his medicine dissolved in it ♡ He realizes relaxing with you taking care of him is heaven, and doesn’t try to keep joking around until he gets better

Saeran ♡ He was the most stubborn that he wasn’t sick ♡ With how he grew up he thought if he was sick that meant he was weak, and he never wanted to be seen as weak. Especially not to you♡ But the more sick he got the more you tried to help him♡ It lead into an argument between you two ♡ You knew he needed to rest and wanted to take care of him, but he refused your help ♡ During the argument he nearly fainted, and you immediately had your arms around him to help him steady himself♡ That moment helped him realize how sick he was, and that he needed your help ♡ He begrudgingly accepted it, and at first was still hesitant to accept your help ♡ Once he was finally able to relax and let you properly take care of him he realized how tired he was ♡ He fell asleep within ten minutes, and woke up still sick but with a higher morale ♡ He let you take care of him without resisting anymore♡ The sickness was making him feel terrible, but he couldn’t even imagine how much worst it would’ve been had he not let you help him♡ He trusted you, despite fighting with you earlier, and was able to fully relax in your care♡ After he recovered he apologized for how he acted towards you, which was fairly rare for him ♡ But he was so thankful for what you did, and even while having problems fully expressing himself he wanted you to know that

V♡ He’s a bit embarrassed ♡ All of your guys’ relationship is turning into you taking care of him ♡ When he first starts to get sick he’s in strong denial and tries to hide it the best he can ♡ It doesn’t work at all ♡ It was especially evident when you came home from the store and he was passed out on the couch sweating ♡ You had to wake him up to get him to change into more comfortable clothes, as you could tell he’s gonna be there for a while♡ As much as he wanted to insist he was okay, he knew he wasn’t and decided to just accept your help ♡ When he was drifting in and out of sleep he thought about how thankful he was for you♡ You loved him so unconditionally, and you took such good care of him ♡ He says he doesn’t remember this, which is believable for how sick he got, but once he woke up, saw you getting his medicine ready, and asked you if you were an angle ♡ But he was convinced you were a literal angle for about five minutes before falling back asleep ♡ Once he was better and you told him about it, he was a bit embarrassed ♡ “Can you blame me? Now that I’m really thinking about it you might seriously be one~”

Vanderwood♡ He was pretty good at taking care of people, despite his typical adversity to it ♡ So once he started to get sick he knew what was wrong, and what kind of medicine to get himself to feel better and so on ♡ But he was taken aback when you insisted on getting all this for him, and then taking proper care of him♡ The only other person he had was Seven, and due to their work he always had to keep a certain amount of distance with him♡ So having someone who’s close to him and taking care of him because they just had genuine feelings for him was strange ♡ But he loved it ♡ It was so nice having someone take care of him for a change, and so he readily accepted any help you were willing to give ♡ He was also impressed by how well you helped him♡ Even through him being sick, falling in and out of sleep, and occasionally being grumpy you stuck with him and took good care of him ♡ He was so grateful for you, and loved every second of attention he got ♡ Even once he said “If you’re always going to be this good to me I should get sick more often”

#mystic messenger #mystic messenger imagine #mystic messenger headcanon #myseme #Yoosung Kim #Zen #Hyun Ryu #Jaehee Kang #Jumin Han #Seven Zero Seven #Saeyoung Choi #V #Jihyun Kim #Saeran Choi #Vanderwood

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