#I will write pretty much anything for money | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

areislol · 5 months

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"would you kiss me for $10 or the hottest person in the world for $1000?"

ft— blade, gepard, dan heng, jing yuan, luocha, welt, sampo, luka, argenti, dr. ratio

warning — none, just fluff! might be ooc, established relationship, gn! reader, no yanqing for this ;( mentions of kissing, might be cringe..? chinese names are simplified. not proofread.

a/n— y'all i apologize if they're ooc (can't justify it i haven't even played hsr yet) so yes. ENJOY as this is my second time writing for 'em

wordcount. 4.2k

刃 blade

✧ .... he knew it was one of those.. silly media questions that couples do to one another. and he hates you for actually doing them (not really he loves you too much)

✧ he continued to stay silent as he sat on the bench, watching as you sat beside him—anticipating for his response that will decide whether or not he will sleep on the couch or not.

✧ "ugh you big bum just answer the question!!" you groan, slumping down on the bench.

✧ blade cocks his head and raises his brow, smirking at you. "you mean the complex question that will probably lead you unhappy if i don't say the answer you were hoping for and then not talk to me for the next couple of hours as you're petty and—"

✧ you quickly shut him up with your palm over his mouth, you were now mad at him for being too god damn right. warmth spread to your cheeks as you stared at him, completely flustered.

✧ "you better shut that mouth of yours baldie." you threaten, still keeping your palm over his mouth when you felt the icky, wet and textured feeling gliding across your palm, it was his tongue.

✧ wasting no time you pulled your hand back and stared at your palm before vigorously wiping it on your shirt, absolutely disgusted. "ewwww!! and you still haven't answered my question!!" you pout.

✧ blade huffs (he's very sassy), "yeah not after calling me baldie. i'm not even bald." he was so serious about it, it was very amusing to you.

✧ you pout even more, scooching closer to him. "okay i'm sorry for calling you baldie.. and yes you aren't bald. now will you please answer my question?!" blade continues to glare at you, thinking about his answer. well, he was only pretending to anyway.

✧ he already knew his answer the second the question slipped out of your mouth, obviously, kiss you for $10 (credits). even if it was for $1000 he could easily get that amount of money in a day and plus, you are the most hottest person in the entire universe.

✧ but he decided to tease you, he put on his thinking face, tapping his finger on his chin. "hm... i really don't know it's so hard to choose..." he hums, looking down at your face as he smirks in amusement at your silly little mad face.

✧ "so hard? SO HARD FOR WHAT????" you asked, leaning in closer. oh you were for sure getting irritated now.

✧ blade chuckles before engulfing you in a tight hug as you sat on his lap, face buried in his chest. "of course kiss you for $10, i don't need $1000 anyway."

✧ "what about the pretty part?" "you are the hottest of them all, y/n."

✧ you hummed in content, happy with his answer before speaking again. "see, it wasn't a trick question at all." blade rolls his eyes. "uh huh... so you weren't going to quote-on-quote, 'ground' me if i said the wrong answer?"

✧ "....no...."

✧ (btw he was still a lil hurt when you called him baldie. like wow, it really hit him deep)

杰帕德 gepard

✧ the second you asked him the question he did not hesitate and answered within 1 billion light speed.

✧ "you of course! i don't want to a random stranger who i don't know for $1000, i don't need that money when i have you."

✧ "oh— gepard—" yeah, you almost burst into tears at his answer. it was so geniune, sweet and adorable. even his face said it all!! he looked at you with such sincere eyes as he told you his reply!!

✧ gepard almost freaked out thinking he said the wrong thing when he saw the tears welling up in your eyes, he immediately held onto your shoulders, apologizing if he did anything wrong.

✧ you shake your head no and wipe away your tears dramatically, "n—no i'm fine gepard i'm just— i didn't expect you to say your answer so quickly! when i saw other couples doing it the other person is always hesitating or something."

✧ gepard is confused, was this a test or something? (poor baby doesn't know) and so you have to explain to him what the trend is all about and all that jazz.

✧ he doesn't think that it's a bad trend or anything, if anything he encourages you to ask him more questions!! anything you ask, he will reply asap 100%!!

✧ and so you asked more questions.

✧ "you don't care about the money gepard? that's a lot though, $1000!" you exclaim, gepard shakes his head and smiles, "i already said why i don't need that money, love, i don't need the money when i have you, you're priceless."

✧ EUGHHHHHHHHH HE JUST HAS TO HIT YOU WITH THAT. you smiled back and gave him a kiss on his cheek before backing away. "that's so sweet of you... okay next question, who is the hottestperson in the world?"

✧ gepard only stares into your eyes, mesmerized by your face, his eyes are trained on you and only you as his thumb caresses your cheek. "you, of course, you're the most hottest.. although i'd rather use prettiest instead, you are the most prettiest and amazing person in the entire universe."

✧ safe to say his face was peppered with kisses after that, not that he minds it.

丹恒 dan heng

✧ "what kind of question is that?" is the first thing he says, looking at you in confusion as he closes the book he was reading.

✧ you had just entered his room, phone in hand before asking him the question out of the blue so he assumed you saw something from the media which now... lead to this.

✧ you shrug, going back to your question. "don't be trying to change the topic, what would you do? kiss me for $10 or kiss the hottest person in the world for $1000?" you repeated, your brows furrowing. to dan heng, it was crazy scary how you looked right now, so desperate for his answer.

✧ "well obviously the hottest person in the world for $1000, that' so much money!" he replied, knowing what this was going to lead him to. "......so... you would kiss the most hottest person in the world for more money?"

✧ dan heng cringes as he nods his head slowly. your eyes narrowed as you began to glare at him, soon, you stormed out of his room, pissed, and with a right as well.

✧ dan heng sighs in defeat before getting up from his seat and following you to where you always went when you were mad, to the kitchen.

✧ and he was right, you were in the kitchen just snacking on food you just bought the day before, when you spotted him you turned around, your back facing him. "baby c'mon im sorry i was just joking.."

✧ hearing him call you "baby" did something to you but you didn't want to give in just yet. you were mad at him still. you pout (not like he can see you but still) and continue to munch on your food angrily.

✧ "i didn't mean to, i promise i was just joking. i would much rather kiss you for $100 i pinky swear." .... "pinky swear?" "pinky swear."

✧ safe to say you accepted his apology as he absolutely peppered your face with millions of kisses before engulfing you in his arms.

✧ "you're ridiculous..." dan heng sighs, resting his eyes. "yeah well you love me so" well, he can't deny that.

景元 jing yuan

✧ jing yuan is definenetly doing the mathematical calculations in his head right now. because what in tarnation are you talking about?!

✧ he stares at you like you're crazy for a second before sighing, looking down and closing his eyes shut (he reminded you a lot like a disappointed dad...)

✧ "what do you mean? why are you asking me this out of the blue..." for one, he is a tad bit afraid that if he says the wrong thing you will sentence him to three (3) days to sleep on the couch, yeah, you banish him from your SHARED bedroom multiple times when he said the "wrong thing".

✧ you repeat your question again, waiting for his answer. "what a silly question, i would kiss you of course, with or without the $10." he breathed, planting a kiss on your forehead before pulling away and smirking, he knew that that was what you wanted to hear and the kiss was the cherry on top.

✧ for a few seconds you just sat there, too flustered to do anything. YES YOU KNEW IT WAS JUST A FOREHEAD KISS BUT IT'S JING YUAN OKAY

✧ "hm? is something the matter, my love?" he questions, leaning in closer to your face, he was much more taller than you (obviously) so he was quite literally towering over you, his face was so close to yours.

✧ you shake your head before going in for a small and chaste kiss and closing your eyes, you can feel the smile on his lips as he pulls you closer to him by your waist and deepens the kiss. your brain was starting to get fuzzy as you felt more and more delirious. jing yuan just knew how to make you fold.

✧ "hey! this isn't an excuse to make out with me you know?" you pull away breathless, looking quite dazed just for this "simple" kiss. jing yuan hums, resting his head on your shoulder before speaking up.

✧ "you know you love it." at his words you sigh and shake your head, "well i can't deny that..." you reply with a smile as you run your fingers through his soft hair.

✧ a few minutes go by in silence, you assume that jing yuan was asleep by how calm and quite he was, when the silence was broken. "does this mean i can sleep in our shared bedroom?"

✧ your brows furrowed at his words, was that all he was thinking about? "mmmmmmm now that you mentioned it..." "no." you chuckled, patting his head. "i know i know, yes, you get to sleep in our shared bedroom."

罗刹 luocha

✧ "what an odd question.." luocha replies, observing your very serious face. he found it amusing how you looked so serious after asking such a silly question.

✧ you whine and shake his arm, "just answer the question luocha it is very serious!! i need to know your answer!!" .... okay yes apparently it was very serious as you literally called him by his name and not some cute nickname.

✧ luocha offers you a soft and tender smile, the one he always does every time he spots you and or is with you (it never fails to make you swoon), "of course you, i don't need the money when i have you, are you doubting something my dear?"

✧ you shake your head at his words, happy with his answer. "no, everything's fine don't worry! thanks lychee." luocha then engulfs you in a hug all of the sudden, the scent of flowers filled your nose as his hair tickled your face.

✧ "your hair's in my face babe—" you mumble, moving the strands of hair off your face. luocha quickly apologized before pulling away, he cups your cheeks and stares deep into your eyes, which confused you.

✧ luocha continues to stare at you for a good hot minute, he was thinking about something. "say, did anything happen to you that prompted you to ask me that question? did someone do something? did i do something wrong?"

✧ he's so cute. anyway, you shake your head. "no, why?" luocha sighs in relief before taking his hands off your cheeks. "i don't know i assumed something happened that made you question me with that.. question. thank the lord i didn't do anything."

✧ kissing his cheek, you sighed dramatically, "well actually something did happen.. a certain somebody hasn't given me any attention for the past couple of hours"

✧ luocha playfully rolls his eyes, "my fault, princess/prince" and that's how he ended up peppering and littering you with kisses all over your face and no, you couldn't escape him even if you wanted to.

瓦尔特 welt

✧ if you keep asking him such questions he's only going to age more, physically, you're going to give him too many wrinkles if you keep on making him furrow his brows and frown.

✧ all you can hear is him heaving a great big sigh as he sets his mug down on the table, staring down at you. "the hottest person in the world?" he asks, you nod your head while smiling, you somewhat knew his answer already.

✧ "well it's you of course." he replied without any hesitation, you hummed and gave him a peck on his cheek. "right answer."

✧ "but why $10 only? you're worth more than that you know." he added, you only shrugged your shoulder. "i don't know it's what the text says" "the text?" "yeah, look!" you held your phone up and pointed at the screen where there was a couple, one of the partner asked a question—the same one you asked him.

✧ the other partner states that they would kiss the most hottest person in the world for $1000, it then showed a clip of the person sleeping on the couch. the answer was easy really, welt didn't understand how bad one person can mess something up.

✧ "well he was stupid, answer was easy." you agreed and put your phone away. "simple right? i knew you would say the right thing" you continued, welt only smiles in pride. "of course, i know what you want to hear, but i hope you know i would never kiss a random person, even if they were the hottest."

✧ your heart melts as he speaks, his words really sinking into you. "awwhh welt~" next thing he knows you're absolutely hugging the shit out of him (and rubbing your face in his chest), not that he minds.

桑博 sampo

✧ "well would you kiss me for $10 or kiss the hottest person in the world for $1000?" sampo repeated your own question back in a somewhat sassy tone. you were a bit shocked to say the least, i mean, how dare he not answer your question but answer your question with the same exact question!! (same energy ykyk)

✧ but obviously, you're used to his antics as you roll your eyes playfully, closing your phone. "seriously, shampoo. answer the question." "woah woah—shampoo? i said to call me anything but that!" he whines as he uses his hands to talk (as usual), very much exaggerating everything.

✧ you shrug your shoulders with an unamused "hmph" and don't reply any futhur. sampo dramatically sighs in defeat. "but babes, if you really think about it $1000 is a lot of money.." you raise your brow at his answer. "you're only thinking about the money?"

✧ sampo shakes his head, he grabs a hold of your hands while looking at you so sincerely it kind of scared you as he was always so... non-serious. "no, of course not. but just think about all the things i can buy for you...and me...food, flowers, more food, clothes and so much more! wouldn't you want all of that?"

✧ you think about it for a second and replied, "well although those are nice, wouldn't you much rather kiss me instead for $10? we can.. still buy something with $10, plus my kiss is unlike any other!"

✧ "yeah, i know." sampo snickers, upon his reply you narrow your eyes at him, your unamused face screamed "what do you mean by that?" in a menacing type of way. sampo quickly clears his throat before you could get any ideas (you had already gotten a few).

✧ "what i'm tryna say is that yes, i would rather kiss you for $10 but.. i think—" you immediately cut him off with a solemn face. "sh. i don't want to hear anymore of you." sampo can see that you're visibly upset at his answer. shit. he didn't mean to say the wrong thing.

✧ his grip on your hand tightened as he moved in closer to you. "no, wait babe i didn't mean that. i was just playin' i promise i would rather kiss you, your kisses are a one in a billion and i really don't care about the money and—" once again, you cut him off, but for a good reason this time.

✧ you giggle softly and shush him up with your index finger pressed up against his soft lips. "i know what you mean sampo, don't go on a big rant now you aren't in trouble." a clear sigh could be heard from sampo. "thank the stars.."

✧ " but babe! you haven't even answered my question." you gawk at sampo. "... oh well..."

✧ and now it was your turn to tease him, be prepared for a pestering and probing sampo!

卢卡 luka

✧ luka is quite stunned at first because for one, the question was out of nowhere, and two, WHAT DID HE DO THAT MADE YOU QUESTION HIM (you have a habit of asking him random questions out of nowhere)

✧ "did i do something wrong?!" is the first thing he says, he says it like it's urgent it caught you off-guard. you shake your head no and chuckle. "no, why? it's just a question don't worry."

✧ as you both were beside each other, sitting down on your couch, luka leans in closer to you where his nose is just barely touching yours. "well.." he whispers before giving you a long and tender kiss on your lips, it was soft and delicate, it wasn't intense or hot—just simple.

✧ "you, obviously." he begins as he pulled away slowly, his deep, sparkling blue eyes staring down at yours so softly and genuinely. "plus in my eyes you're the most prettiest person in the entire world, actually—no, in the universe!" the way he beamed at you as he spoke his words made your heart flutter. he was so sweet.

✧ luka's sweetness and innocence of a child (not quite literally) never failed to make you tear up, his charisma and optimistic personality pulled you in. but back to the moment. "awww luka you're too sweet ☹️" your cute lil pout made luka's head jump out of his chest and right back in, you were all too adorable.

✧ "oh you know it's nothing.. just stating the facts!" he chuckles, wrapping an arm around your neck and pulling you closer to him where your hips touched each other.

✧ luka rested his head on top of yours, his chest heaving up and down calmly. "wait, so you would kiss me even if you only got $10 other than $1000?" you asked, not bothering to move your body to face him.

✧ "yup! i would still kiss you for free too, money or not. if you still don't believe me.." luka lifted his head off yours as he faced you, you mirrored his actions and turned to face him. "hm?"

✧ luka began to kiss your face, first your cheeks, then it was your nose, then your forehead and finally, you're lips. this time he pressed his lips onto yours for longer as he used his left hand to cup your cheek. everything about this moment was wonderful.

✧ when he finally lets go, you both are left breathless and yet still yearning for more. "do you believe me now?"

银枝 argenti

✧ argenti is quick with his response, catching you off-guard. he was just standing out in the public (well more like posing to you and other people as he always looks like he's a model posing for his pictures) when you came running to him with your phone in hand, looking quite excited. which got him excited as well.

✧ but despite the silliness of the question he quickly answers your question with no hesitation. "why, you of course. i would kiss you any day, anytime and anywhere." he spoke with such sincerity and calmness it instantly made you fold. his soft and luminous grey eyes boring into yours.

✧ argenti moves in closer to you where his chest is looming over you. but even if he was taller than you, you were quite used to him doing that so you weren't afraid at all. "why do you ask?" you shake your head and smile up at him, happy with his answer. "nothing special!!"

✧ argenti stays silent for a couple of seconds before cupping your cheeks with his hands, your hands reaching to hold his with yours, the cold, hard metallic texture. you stare up at him, confused, but don't speak. you wait for him to do whatever he needed to do.

✧ before you knew it he had leaned down, his lips barely touching yours, his hooded eyes staring down at your lips. a kiss. his lips were so warm and soft, they did not part whatsoever, it was just soft, slow, gentle and sensual kiss. his lips were softly pressed against yours for a good hot second when he gradually pulled away, the tingling and exciting sensation still lingered on your lips.

✧ when both of your lips parted, it seemed like you two had forgotten that you were out in public, unaware of the many stares that were coming your way (i mean can you blame them? they are witnessing a very gorgeous couple passionately kissing. but not in that way.)

✧ after argenti pulled away and observed your face for any signs of discomfort the corners of his lips began to pull up after seeing you smile shyly. you were so adorable. "and that would be $1010." he whispered, gently pinching your cheeks.

✧ a cheerful and tender grin grows on your face at his words. but before you could utter a word or sound your eyes land upon a rose being held right in front of you by argenti. his signature rose.

✧ "a freshly picked flower for you, my rose." he breathed, his other hand pressed against his chest as he slightly bows. what a gentlemen he is. you smile in embarrassment before gratefully take his flower and slightly bowing before thanking him and smelling the rose. "thank you so much! it's breathtaking...."

✧ "just like you."

真理医生 dr. ratio

✧ "be completely and utterly serious with me with me right now." you added, using big words to really make him think about it. not like he ever does (he's always thinking logically).

✧ ratio sighs, yes, he gave you that sigh. "what? don't give me that sigh. just tell me your answer and then go on with your life again!" you said, doing your sigh this time. ratio is clearly and visibly thinking about his answer.

✧ "wow. are you really thinking about your answer?" you spoke, raising your brow in complete confusion. ratio shoots you a stare and shakes his head. "yes, really, but the answer is simple, you." although his answer was what you wanted to hear you wanted to know why. i mean, he was your boyfriend after all but still.

✧ "i thought you said you would let me go on with my life after answering your non-sensical question." he replied bluntly, cocking his head to the side. you mumbler under your breath as he was right. "yes well just one more thing, please?" and of course, he could never say no to you.

✧ "simply because i love you. i don't need to kiss anybody, especially a random stranger that is quote-on-quote, extremely attractive, for $1000 or more. even if somebody offered me a million i wouldn't take it, simply because they are not you. your kisses are different and have a different feel compared to theirs. and i am 100% positive that their lips are probably not the best unlike yours. not only that but it would be completely unreal for me to meet someone extremely attractive in the world as nobody is. but to me, you are the most wonderful and amazing person i have ever met. and not only that but—"

✧ you roll your eyes playfully before shushing him up with a finger pressed up against his lips. "okay okay i get it smarty pants" you giggled, removing your finger from his lips. ratio only grinned upon your words.

✧ "hm, well that's a good response. you're the best!" you beamed before kissing his temple and pulling away, heat rushing to your cheeks.

✧ as you were about to walk away you stopped in your tracks, causing him to stop what he was doing and looking your way. you turned around, facing him. "did you mean everything you said?" you questioned softly. the corners of ratio's lips curled up. "of course, i promise."

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another note: second hsr post YAY I HOPE Y'ALL ENJOY THIS

#hsr x reader #honkai star rail x reader #blade x reader #dan heng x reader #jing yuan x reader #gepard x reader #luocha x reader #welt x reader #sampo x reader #luka x reader #argenti x reader #dr ratio x reader #honkai star rail x you #hsr x you #—✧ · . fandom: honkai star rail

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zentraex · 1 month

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Summary: You made a lot mistakes in your new job, but do you regret them? Nope, not a bit. But who can blame you for it? If you wouldn't have done them, you never would have met this pretty boy.

Remember: German Grammar is a lot different then English grammar. I apologize for any mistakes.

Pairing: Francis Mosses (doppelganger) x gn! Reader

(A/N): I usually write for mha, but this men dominates my fyp on TikTok and I can't stop grinning like an idiot about all this fanarts. My men is just too attractive for his own good. Nevertheless, Tumblr has too few fanfictions for him, so I had to do it myself. Still, I am not that proud about how it turned out. It certainly sounded better in my head, but I don't care. One shitty fanficion is better than none.

Art by @asteriscks on TikTok

This game is not mine, but Ignacio Alvarado. I also used phrases from the game.

Mistakes? Yes, but no regrets.

It's been a week since you started working for D.D.D as a doorman.

You can remember your first day so well, it could have been yesterday.

Well... probably because your life is constantly at stake.

It started with a mistake that you ended up here. It was completely unexpected since you always made sure, that you sent your rent to the right account.

Surely no one can blame you for a small typo, right?

Well, your landlord, who kept pounding on your door until you woke up, surely did.

"What?" you asked, annoyed, as you opened the door.

"When do you plan to finally pay your bill? The date has already been overdue for two weeks!" he complains.

What?

"Sorry, but I've already transferred my money to you."

"Well, I didn't get anything. Do you still have the receipt for the transfer?"

"No..."

You already knew what that meant: double payment.

"Look, today, I'll transfer it to your account again, okay? If it doesn't work this time, it's not my fault."

You were about to close the door, but your landlord had other plans when he held the door open with his foot.

"No no no. You will give me the money now. I don’t trust you. Why would you transfer it to me today, when it should have happened two weeks ago. You will give it to me now."

Your eyes widened.

Now?

"But I don't have that much money in my hand? Who's got that?"

"Then I'll have to kick you out for now. But don't worry, no one is going to buy an apartment here anytime soon, so you can move right back in as soon as you give me the money."

Staring stunned at his smiling face you could have sworn you were about to hit him.

"The keys?"

With watery eyes, you grabbed your keys, placed them in his outstretched hand, and frowned.

What kind of person had such sharp fingernails as he does?

You were sure that he could definitely have stabbed someone with them.

Thank God, I didn't hit him.

"When do you plan to give me the money? I've heard that all banks closed today. Some kind of holiday among them, I've heard."

What!?

How were you going to get through the day today? You intentionally left everything in your apartment since you were so sure that you could have given the money to your landlord in a matter of minutes.

"You’re telling me this now!?"

"If you had paid, you wouldn’t need to know."

That filthy bastard.

No matter how angry you were at that moment, your panic was overweighting.

What were you going to do now?

Shit.

"Man, I really wouldn't want to be in your situation...", the landlord murmured.

Fuck the nails- This guy deserves a punch.

Just as you raised your fist, he speaks again.

"But maybe we can agree on something.

Then you stopped.

"The D.D.D., which is responsible for the safety of all residents in this area, is looking for doormans. Ours has recently...quitted, which is why we are urgently looking for one. They pay three times the amount of your rent in a week. If you take the job, I can overlook your sloppiness this time."

Three times your rent? In a week? And for what? To sit there and check a few documents. You'd be crazy not to take the offer!

"Okay. I'll do it. Where can I apply?"

"Don't worry, I'll sort it out for you. Tomorrow, you can start”

Looking back, it should have been clear to you that something was wrong. Starting with the sudden his sudden threat, the fingernails and this stupid story about the holiday of the banks.

Maybe it was just because you were too panicked at that moment to think rationally.

But let’s be true here: when are you thinking rationally? If you did, you would certainly have quitted after your first day.

"Welcome and congratulations on your new job."

After watching the short video, a man in the yellow suit came to your window. You are so shocked that you can’t even answer.

I'm going to die today!

After all, you know it yourself: you're too gullible for the job. There's no chance you'll unmask a doppelganger who copies someone well.

“As you could see on the introductory film, your job is to verify the entry of the neighbors of your building. Each day there will be a list of individuals who will request entry to the building. It is possible that there are individuals who request entry and aren’t on the list. In which case you will mark on the checklist that they are not on the list and proceed to question the individual. Also, you must verify that the ID and the entry reqest are correct and have the respective D.D.D. logo. Don’t forget to also check the expiration on the IDs. Remember it’s Febuary 1955."

Your gaze wanders to the note that was stuck to the wall.

Arnold Schmicht F02 – 01

Anastacha Mikaelys F02 – 04

Robertsky Peachman F01 – 02

Steven Rudboys F03 – 03

Mia Stone F03 – 01

Rafttellyn Cappuccin F03 – 04

Admittedly, you don't know any of your neighbors, neither by character nor really by sight. You were never the type to care about your neighbors.

"I wish you good luck."

C’mon Reader, be like Henry…

But better.

The first inhabitant was Mia Stone and you already started to sweat.

"Good evening."

Was she real? Was she a doppelganger?

With shaky hands, you reached for her ID and entry pass, only to find that everything was fine. She was also on today's list and her appearance doesn't show any deviations either, right?

Just to be sure, you looked into the folder that described her appearance:

Long hair

Small round nose

She has freckles

...

Freckles?

Your eyes wandered again to the woman in front of you, who was waiting patiently behind the window.

You narrowed your eyes a little and leaned forward to get a better view of her.

No matter how long you stared at her, you didn't see them, her freckles.

"You look different...", you murmur after a while.

"What's wrong with my appearance? I think everything is fine with my appearance."

Her photo on her ID and Entry Pass both have no freckles.

Perhaps a mistake on the part of the D.D.D.?

You're about to press the green button, but then you see her grinning slightly out of the corner of your eye.

Shit.

She almost had you. You're really not made for this job.

Your hand slammed hard against the red button, causing the siren to blare and the metal window to crash down.

"3312," you murmur to yourself.

"You have contacted the D.D.D.. A group of agents has been sent to your building. Please wait for the cleaning protocol to run."

Cleaning protocol?

What happens to those who were cleaned? They certainly won't be killed, will they?

What if they will?

What if your judgment was wrong?

What if...

Your thoughts were interrupted as the siren fell silent and the metal window went up, only to reveal the yellow man.

"Cleaning protocol completed. You can continue your job."

It took a while until someone finally came again.

This time, your heart was pounding faster. Significantly faster. And this time, you can't even say for sure that it's all out of fear.

Milkman...

You definitely can't deny it: he's probably one of the most attractive men you've ever seen.

You don't even have to look at today's checklist to tell he's not on it – a face like his would have caught your eye right away.

"Francis Mosses, huh?" you murmured to yourself as you looked at his ID. "You're not on today's list."

"I’m not on today’s list because I had to leave due to an emergency."

Long nose

Thin chin

Tired eyes

Short hair

Wears a hat

It all fit. The only thing left now was a call.

Just as you began to spin the wheel of the phone, he said, "You're new here, aren't you? I've never seen you here before."

"Yes, today is my first day."

"Must be hard, huh? I've heard that more and more doppelgangers are appearing and they are becoming more and more error-free. It would be a shame if such a pretty face as yours were to disappear forever."

Your cheeks turn red and suddenly you feel shyer than you actually are.

"B-But your job has to be hard as well. I didn't think that being a milkman would rob you so much sleep."

Francis smiles a little. So little that you almost didn't see it at all.

"It's not. I just stay up for a very long time. If you like, I can bring you some milk sometime. It's refreshing, calms the nerves."

You bite your lip slightly when you have to refrain from a question.

What milk do you mean exactly?

My God, why were you just such a sucker for handsome men?

"I'd be delighted, Francis."

You talked to him for a while and you quickly forgot that you were actually going to call someone.

"I'd like to talk to you more, but I don't want to stop you from your work. I'll see you tomorrow, right, Reader?"

And you quickly forgot that you never told him your name.

You pressed the green button.

"Shh," whispered the voice of Francis next to your ear.

It was your third day, your third time to change shift.

Well, it usually would have been.

Your vision and mouth were blocked by the bloody hands of the doppelganger who claimed to be Francis.

He had killed the doorman, that should have taken over your shift.

You had to admit, that you were more than inconsiderate. After all, you didn't ask for his entry pass, nor the reason why he wasn't on today's list.

"I'll let you go now, yeah? No wrong move, okay?"

He laughed softly as he released his hands from you and turned your chair, so you were facing him.

"We don't want to hurt you, do we, Reader?"

The sentence shouldn't have given you hope, because after all, you were more than sure that you were going to die one way or another.

Maybe you should have shown a little resistance. For your honor, but....

Oh?

He is so close to you that you can practically feel his body heat. Or was it your own? Your face, despite your situation, was burning.

Even though he said he was letting you go, his hands ran over your body and you couldn't deny that it did something to you.

Were you so shameful?

"Actually, I wanted to wait, but I couldn't take it anymore. I've been patient long enough, haven't I? It was so much work for me, to let you get this job."

You didn't know what to say. Honestly, you didn't know if you would even be able to answer him.

His breath touched your throat as he spoke, "I think I deserve this, don't I? What do you say, Reader? Do I deserve my reward?”

If you were going to die anyway, why not enjoy the last few minutes?

Regardless of whether he was a doppelganger, he had lived up to his title as "Mlikman" that night.

"You killed the real Francis Mosses?" you asked the next day.

Francis grins, almost so much so that his real form was threatening to show itself.

"Yes, of course. What would have happened if he had come before me? You would have sent the D.D.D. after me."

Well, he had a point, huh?

No matter how wrong it was, you were glad it didn't come to that.

You didn't know the real Francis Mosses. That's probably why his death was so insignificant to you.

"Have you killed more people?"

"Just more doppelgangers you let through."

Your eyes widened.

You were so sure you caught them all. The false success was the reason why you didn't quit…well, it was one of the reasons.

"How many have I let through?"

Francis just continues to wear his smirk as he gives you a kiss on the forehead.

"Don't rack your pretty head over it, okay?"

You just nod, smiling.

"Are you going to kill others...?

You don't know why you added your next question. Probably because you wanted to feel special.

"Would you kill for me?"

"Hooooonn"

When you turn your gaze to his face, two white pupils stared at you and his grin is inhumanly wide and black.

You don't know if it's joyful or sadistic, but it definitely made you feel special.

Looking back, you made more than a few mistakes.

But honestly?

You don't regret a single one of them. After all, all of them have led to an all-too-familiar knock on your window.

When you look up, he waves, the milkman.

#francis mosses #francis mosses x reader #francis mosses x you #x reader #x gn reader #x you #x y/n #yandere #milkman #milkman x reader #that's not my neighbor x reader #yandere francis mosses #yandere milkman

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nyancrimew · 5 months

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i really hate how often i have to post about this, but im horribly in debt and if i don't get out of this soon (ideally within like two months) it's only gonna keep getting way worse. at this point im over 4.6k in the minus cause both paying back debt and keeping up with living expenses and bills at the same time is pretty much impossible on my little income, so i always end up having to spend more in credit card debt again (i have to cover most of the living expenses for a two person household and sometimes help my wife with shopping as well).

i know i already have enough coming in rn (with the talk and other paid work + a bit of my monthly income) to pay off at least 1.6k this month, but absolutely anything i get will help me massively, and especially monthly subscriptions are valuable for budgeting and allowing me to worry less while doing my writing or posting my silly posts and are my only stable form of income.

give with card if possible as it is currently not possible for me to get paypal money into my bank account, but paypal is at least still useful for running expenses, anything helps <3

#debt #personal finances #mutual aid #donations #fundraiser

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colleendoran · 3 months

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Great Big Good Omens Graphic Novel Update

AKA A Visit From Bildad the Shuhite.

The past year or so has been one long visit from this guy, whereupon he smiteth my goats and burneth my crops, woe unto the woeful cartoonist.

Gaze upon the horror of Bildad the Shuhite.

You kind of have to be a Good Omens fan to get this joke, but trust me, it's hilarious.

Anyway, as a long time Good Omens novel fan, you may imagine how thrilled I was to get picked to adapt the graphic novel.

Go me!

This is quite a task, I have to say, especially since I was originally going to just draw (and color) it, but I ended up writing the adaptation as well. Tricky to fit a 400 page novel into a 160-ish page graphic novel, especially when so much of the humor is dependent on the language, and not necessarily on the visuals.

Not complainin', just sayin'.

Anyway, I started out the gate like a herd of turtles, because right away I got COVID which knocked me on my butt.

And COVID brain fog? That's a thing. I already struggle with brain fog due to autoimmune disease, and COVID made it worse.

Not complainin' just sayin'.

This set a few of the assignments on my plate back, which pushed starting Good Omens back.

But hey, big fat lead time! No worries!

Then my computer crawled toward the grave.

My trusty MAC Pro Tower was nearly 15 years old when its sturdy heart ground to a near-halt with daily crashes. I finally got around to doing some diagnostics; some of its little brain actions were at 5% functionality. I had no reliable backups.

There are so many issues with getting a new computer when you haven't had a new computer or peripherals in nearly fifteen years and all of your software, including your Photoshop program is fifteen years old.

At the time, I was still on rural internet...which means dial-up speed.

Whatever you have for internet in the city, roll that clock back to about 2001.

That's what I had. I not only had to replace almost all of my hardware but I had to load and update all programs at dial-up speed.

Welcome to my gigabyte hell.

The entire process of replacing the equipment and programs took weeks and then I had to relearn all the software.

All of this was super expensive in terms of money and time cost.

But I was not daunted! Nosirree!

I still had a huge lead time! I can do anything! I have an iron will!

And boy, howdy, I was going to need it.

At about the same time, a big fatcat quadrillionaire client who had hired me years ago to develop a big, major transmedia project for which I was paid almost entirely in stock, went bankrupt leaving everyone holding the bag, and taking a huge chunk of my future retirement fund with it.

I wrote a very snarky almost hilarious Patreon post about it, but am not entirely in a position to speak freely because I don't want to get sued. Even though I had to go to court over it, (and I had to do that over Zoom at dial-up speed,) I'm pretty sure I'll never get anything out of this drama, and neither will anyone else involved, except millionaire dude and his buddies who all walked away with huge multi-million dollar bonuses weeks before they declared bankruptcy, all the while claiming they would not declare bankruptcy.

Even the accountant got $250,000 a month to shut down the business, while creators got nothing.

That in itself was enough drama for the year, but we were only at February by that point, and with all those months left, 2023 had a lot more to throw at me.

Fresh from my return from my Society of Illustrators show, and a lovely time at MOCCA, it was time to face practical medical issues, health updates, screening, and the like. I did my adult duty and then went back to work hoping for no news, but still had a weird feeling there would be news.

I know everyone says that, but I mean it. I had a bad feeling.

Then there was news.

I was called back for tests and more tests. This took weeks. The ubiquitous biopsy looked, even to me staring at the screen in real time, like bad news.

It also hurt like a mofo after the anesthesia wore off. I wasn't expecting that.

Then I got the official bad news.

Cancer which runs in my family finally got me. Frankly, I was surprised I didn't get it sooner.

Stage 0, and treatment would likely be fast and complication-free. Face the peril, get it over with, and get back to work.

I requested surgery months in the future so I could finish Good Omens first, but my doc convinced me the risk of waiting was too great. Get it done now.

"You're really healthy," my doc said. Despite an auto-immune issue which plagues me, I am way healthier than the average schmoe of late middle age. She informed me I would not even need any chemo or radiation if I took care of this now.

So I canceled my appearance at San Diego Comic Con. I did not inform the Good Omens team of my issues right away, thinking this would not interfere with my work schedule, but I did contact my agent to inform her of the issue. I also contacted a lawyer to rewrite my will and make sure the team had access to my digital files in case there were complications.

Then I got back to work, and hoped for the best.

Eff this guy.

Before I could even plant my carcass on the surgery table, I got a massive case of ocular shingles.

I didn't even know there was such a thing.

There I was, minding my own business. I go to bed one night with a scratchy eye, and by 4 PM the next day, I was in the emergency room being told if I didn't get immediate specialist treatment, I was in big trouble.

I got transferred to another hospital and got all the scary details, with the extra horrid news that I could not possibly have cancer surgery until I was free of shingles, and if I did not follow a rather brutal treatment procedure - which meant super-painful eye drops every half hour, twenty-four hours a day and daily hospital treatment - I could lose the eye entirely, or be blinded, or best case scenario, get permanent eye damage.

What was even funnier (yeah, hilarity) is the drops are so toxic if you don't use the medication just right, you can go blind anyway.

Hi Ho.

Ulcer is on the right. That big green blob.

I had just finished telling my cancer surgeon I did not even really care about getting cancer, was happy it was just stage zero, had no issues with scarring, wanted no reconstruction, all I cared about was my work.

Just cut it out and get me back to work.

And now I wondered if I was going to lose my ability to work anyway.

Shingles often accompanies cancer because of the stress on the immune system, and yeah, it's not pretty. This is me looking like all heck after I started to get better.

The first couple of weeks were pretty demoralizing as I expected a straight trajectory to wellness. But it was up and down all the way.

Some days I could not see out of either eye at all. The swelling was so bad that I had to reach around to my good eye to prop the lid open. Light sensitivity made seeing out of either eye almost impossible. Outdoors, even with sunglasses, I had to be led around by the hand.

I had an amazing doctor. I meticulously followed his instructions, and I think he was surprised I did. The treatment is really difficult, and if you don't do it just right no matter how painful it gets, you will be sorry.

To my amazement, after about a month, my doctor informed me I had no vision loss in the eye at all. "This never happens," he said.

I'd spent a couple of weeks there trying to learn to draw in the near-dark with one eye, and in the end, I got all my sight back.

I could no longer wear contact lenses (I don't really wear them anyway, unless I'm going to the movies,) would need hard core sun protection for awhile, and the neuralgia and sun sensitivity were likely to linger. But I could get back to work.

I have never been more grateful in my life.

Neuralgia sucks, by the way, I'm still dealing with it months later.

Anyway, I decided to finally go ahead and tell the Good Omens team what was going on, especially since this was all happening around the time the Kickstarter was gearing up.

Now that I was sure I'd passed the eye peril, and my surgery for Stage 0 was going to be no big deal, I figured all was a go. I was still pretty uncomfortable and weak, and my ideal deadline was blown, but with the book not coming out for more than a year, all would be OK. I quit a bunch of jobs I had lined up to start after Good Omens, since the project was going to run far longer than I'd planned.

Everybody on the team was super-nice, and I was pretty optimistic at this time. But work was going pretty slow during, as you may imagine.

But again...lots of lead time still left, go me.

Then I finally got my surgery.

Which was not as happy an experience as I had been hoping for.

My family said the doc came out of the operating room looking like she'd been pulled backwards through a pipe, She informed them the tumor which looked tiny on the scan was "...huge and her insides are a mess."

Which was super not fun news.

Eff this guy.

The tumor was hiding behind some dense tissue and cysts. After more tests, it was determined I'd need another surgery and was going to have to get further treatments after all.

The biopsy had been really painful, but the discomfort was gone after about a week, so no biggee. The second surgery was, weirdly, not as painful as the biopsy, but the fatigue was big time.

By then, the Good Omens Kickstarter had about run its course, and the record-breaker was both gratifying and a source of immense social pressure.

I'd already turned most of my social media over to an assistant, and I'm glad I did.

But the next surgery was what really kicked me on my keister.

All in all, they took out an area the size of a baseball. It was hard to move and wiped me out for weeks and weeks. I could not take care of myself. I'd begun losing hair by this time anyway, and finally just lopped it off since it was too heavy for me to care for myself. The cut hides the bald spots pretty well.

After about a month, I got the go-ahead to travel to my show at the San Diego Comic Con Museum (which is running until the first week of April, BTW). I was very happy I had enough energy to do it. But as soon as I got back, I had to return to treatment.

Since I live way out in the country, going into the city to various hospitals and pharmacies was a real challenge. I made more than 100 trips last year, and a drive to the compounding pharmacy which produced the specialist eye medicine I could not get anywhere else was six hours alone.

Naturally, I wasn't getting anything done during this time.

But at least my main hospital is super swank.

The oncology treatment went smoothly, until it didn't. The feels don't hit you until the end. By then I was flattened.

So flattened that I was too weak to control myself, fell over, and smashed my face into some equipment.

Nearly tore off my damn nostril.

Eff this guy.

Anyway, it was a bad year.

Here's what went right.

I have a good health insurance policy. The final tally on my health care costs ended up being about $150,000. I paid about 18% of that, including insurance. I had a high deductible and some experimental medicine insurance didn't cover. I had savings, enough to cover the months I wasn't working, and my Patreon is also very supportive. So you didn't see me running a Gofundme or anything.

Thanks to everyone who ever bought one of my books.

No, none of that money was Good Omens Kickstarter money. I won't get most of my pay on that for months, which is just as well because it kept my taxes lower last year when I needed a break.

So, yay.

My nose is nearly healed. I opted out of plastic surgery, and it just sealed up by itself. I'll never be ready for my closeup, but who the hell cares.

I got to ring the bell.

I had a very, VERY hard time getting back to work, especially with regard to focus and concentration. My work hours dropped by over 2/3. I was so fractured and weak, time kept slipping away while I sat in the studio like a zombie. Most of the last six months were a wash.

I assumed focus issues were due (in part) to stress, so sought counseling. This seemed like a good idea at first, but when the counselor asked me to detail my issues with anxiety, I spent two weeks doing just that and getting way more anxious, which was not helpful.

After that I went EFF THIS NOISE, I want practical tools, not touchy feelies (no judgment on people who need touchy-feelies, I need a pragmatic solution and I need it now,) so tried using the body doubling focus group technique for concentration and deep work.

Within two weeks, I returned to normal work hours.

I got rural broadband, jumping me from dial up speed to 1 GB per second.

It's a miracle.

Massive doses of Vitamin D3 and K2. Yay.

The new computer works great.

The Kickstarter did so well, we got to expand the graphic novel to 200 pages. Double yay.

I'm running late, but everyone on the Good Omens team is super supportive. I don't know if I am going to make the book late or not, but if I do, well, it surely wasn't on purpose, and it won't be super late anyway. I still have months of lead time left.

I used to be something of a social media addict, but now I hardly ever even look at it, haven't been directly on some sites in over a year, and no longer miss it. It used to seem important and now doesn't.

More time for real life.

While I think the last year aged me about twenty years, I actually like me better with short hair. I'm keeping it.

OK. Rough year.

Not complainin', just sayin'.

Back to work on The Book.

And only a day left to vote for Good Omens, Neil Gaiman, and Sandman in the Comicscene Awards. Thanks.

#good omens graphic novel #good omens #terry pratchett #neil gaiman #dunmanifestin

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viennakarma · 3 months

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Something you paid for

Fernando Alonso x Reader

Summary: Two years into the best relationship of your life, you find out that Fernando thinks you don't love him. But it get worse and you realize the whole world think of you as gold digger.

Word count: 5.7k

Tags: female!reader, established relationship, slut shaming, reader is confused, fernando is even more confused, miscommunication, cursing, a bit angsty, hurt/comfort, soft smut (almost not there), happy ending, not beta read

Relationship: Fernando Alonso x Reader

Note: I'm honestly not 100% sure about this story, a had another ending planned but I wanted it to be HEA. I don't know. :(

I'm sorry if it's rushed or full of mistakes. Feedback and opinions are appreciated xx

Find me on Twitter!

It was supposed to be just a pause in your studies. Something quick since your brain was already mushy from studying and writing your research for too long.

So when you picked up your phone, to aimlessly scroll through social media, you didn’t expect to see a new, sudden rush of comments on your instagram page. There were thousands of comments in your last post, calling you a gold digger, and much, much worse. Ever since you started dating Fernando, you had been getting these comments, and in the beginning they were worse but slowed down with time. Now they were on a new high again. Confused more than anything, you went on to try and find out what happened for this to happen all of a sudden. You and Fernando hadn’t gone out together for more than two weeks and you hadn’t been to a race week for a month.

After digging you eventually found out what happened. Deuxmoi posted something that made everyone quickly think it was you.

A lady who’s 12 years younger than her famous Spanish Formula One driver boyfriend, is known for being with him for his money. Many tried to warn him, but it seems like he doesn’t believe or doesn’t care.

Confused, you stared at the post, scrolling through hundreds of nasty, poisonous comments. That wasn’t true. Fernando did give you lots of presents and spoiled you a lot but he did this out of his own want, not because you asked for or demanded it. He was constantly giving you things, especially clothes, shoes and bags, and loved seeing you wearing them. He also gave you an Aston Martin car on your last birthday. He even went as far as getting you a credit card attached to his, for whenever you needed to buy books or go on a shopping spree. You never minded it because you knew he liked it, instead of refusing you were just grateful for his generosity.

You wondered if you should talk about it with him, but deep down you knew Fernando was never one to care for gossip of any kind. And this probably wasn’t even true to begin with, just someone trying to stir the pot. So you just limited the comments in your posts and went on about your day.

A week later you went to the race, it was Silverstone, and the last before summer break. You decided to dress your best, wearing clothes that were pretty and elegant and had been given to you by Fernando.

He always treated you like a princess, he was kind and patient, and always found a way to align your schedules to spend time together. He liked taking you on trips during summer break and to ski trips during winter break. Fernando adored having you around in race weeks, you could see in his face that he was radiant with your presence. And you loved all the gifts and the trips but you especially loved staying home with him, lazing around, making love on the sofa and taking walks hand in hand in his hometown. You loved helping him cook, trying your best to follow his orders and not mess up his recipes.

You walked into the paddock hand in hand, and you kept him company whenever you could. He would keep you around the most, only letting you go when he had meetings or media duties. During that time, you would go back to his room and do a little more of your research, writing your thesis.

You left his room so you could grab a snack and a coffee at the hospitality, but as you passed by a hallway, you heard someone saying your name in conversation. You stopped, leaning against the wall to hear, with a glance, you saw two mechanics talking.

“Seems like everyone tried to warn him, man. But it’s like he doesn’t mind dating a gold digger.”

“Is she a gold digger, really?”

“Man, she doesn’t do anything! She doesn't even work.”

“Has anyone warned Fernando?”

“Everyone.”

You went back inside his driver’s room, sitting down, completely shocked. So that’s what people thought of you? You knew people on the internet talked about it, but they were strangers so you wouldn’t allow yourself to mind because those people didn’t know you. But the people in the garage? They’ve known you for almost two years now, you were always kind and polite to them, even going as far as bringing them cookies and donuts as thank you for welcoming you so well.

You avoided crying, it would ruin your makeup, and Fernando would notice it very quickly. So you just sat there, numb. Thinking about how everyone believed you were with Fernando because of his money and nothing else.

When Fernando found you again, before he had to go get ready for the race, he noticed you were a little down.

“You should not study so hard on the weekends, princesa.” He muttered, hugging you from behind and leaving a gentle kiss to your neck. Of course, he would think you were just tired.

“You are absolutely right, mi amor,” you smiled a little, turning around so you could hug him properly, “do you have time for a little kiss?”

“Even two,” he joked.

You ended up sitting on his lap, making out like two teenagers, until someone knocked on the door, calling Fernando to go get ready.

“Hey, good luck, yeah?” You said, kissing him one more time then kissing the back of his hand, “I love you.”

You watched the race from the garage, feeling self conscious now that it seemed like everyone thought you were leeching off of Fernando.

In the end, Fernando got P3 which was a great result and you celebrated wildly, proudly watching him get on the podium.

After his post race meetings, you met him in his room.

“Let’s go out to celebrate! Dinner is on me!” You hugged him, mood better now than before.

You and him ended up going out for dinner, at a high end restaurant, dressed to the nines. It was fun, you listened to Fernando talking about the race, then he asked you what you thought about the race.

Before dessert, you went into the bathroom to retouch your makeup and freshen up. When you came back, your tiramisu was already there. You and Fernando shared the dessert, laughing to each other.

When the waitress came, you picked the opportunity.

“Dear, can we get the tab please?”

“It’s already taken care of, Madam.”

Your smile faltered, and you looked at Fernando as she left. He was smiling like he couldn’t hold it in.

“Fernando! I said dinner was on me!”

“Why would I let you pay, princesa?”

“Because you got a podium today! As a celebration!” You whined, upset. Fernando pulled your chair, until you were right beside him and he kissed your cheek.

“I like paying for you, Hermosa,” Fernando stood up, offering you a hand, “come on, you can treat me right in our hotel room, what about that?”

You smiled as he pulled you away, but something still nagged at your brain.

You and Fernando took the private plane back to Madrid after the date, because he had sponsor meetings over the week, and you honestly wanted to sleep in your bed. The trip was quick, and while Fernando took a nap, you tried studying, but your mind kept going back to being called a gold digger.

Deep down, you really wanted to talk to Fernando about it, but you were unsure if he could fix this in any way. What could he do? Make a post on instagram saying hey, my girlfriend isn’t leeching off of me as most you think!? You did live with Fernando, for six months now, and he paid all the bills and the house was his. But he also gave you many many gifts.

When you got home, putting your bags inside the closet, you two just changed into sleepwear, ready to doze off.

Then Fernando opened his bag and grabbed a small box.

“Oh, I had forgotten! Got you a present last week in Austria!”

He handed you the box, and with your heart beating fast, you opened it to a beautiful vintage watch. It was gold, delicate with a beautiful bracelet. There was a lump in your throat as you stared at the piece.

“You didn’t like it? It’s ok, princesa, I’ll get you another one,” he said, with a gentle smile.

“I don’t need another watch, Nando. You gave me this one not even a month ago,” you raised your wrist, showing him the brand new one he gave you.

“I want to give it to you. It doesn’t matter,” he shrugged.

“And I don’t want it,” god, you didn’t want to sound so ungrateful, but how could you tell him that his presents felt like something else now? “You have to stop giving me so many presents,” you said, trying to put into words what you were feeling.

“But that’s how I won you over, why would you refuse my presents now?”

Something about the nonchalance in his voice made you stop, stomach dropping. That’s how I won you over? That’s how he believed your relationship came to be? That’s why he thought you were together?

“What did you say?” You paused, suddenly turning to him, it felt like a punch to the throat, “You- you believe I’m a gold digger? You believe it?”

Fernando walked up to you, putting both hands on your waist, a soft smile gracing his face.

“Amor, you know I don’t mind spending my money on you. Quite the opposite, I love to spoil you.”

You stood there, speechless for a couple of seconds. Then you snapped out of it, pushing his hands off you.

“That’s not what I asked!” Your voice sounded louder, you tried to regain your composure, “people talk a lot, the press too, but you know the truth, right?!”

“I’m a rich man, I like providing you with the luxurious lifestyle you lead. I don’t care that you enjoy my money.”

His words made it so much worse. It made you nauseous, the idea that all this time, he’s been thinking of you as a gold digger, as someone who’s only with him for his money and for what he could provide for you.

“No, Fernando- no!” Your voice wavered, “that’s not true! I love you, you know that right?”

“Why are you so caught up in some silly rumor?

“You know right? You know I love you.” You pressed further waiting for an answer. Hoping against hope that he knew it deep down, that he could acknowledge that you harbored love for him.

“Amor, we have such a great dynamic like this. I don’t need your love, just your loyalty and for you to be my pretty girl.”

He was so calm and reassuring, like he had made peace with the fact that you didn’t love him. Like he wasn’t bothered at all by the fact that you were supposedly a gold digger. His dismissal broke something inside you.

“So you don’t- you don’t believe I love you?”

You felt pathetic and helpless, repeating the same words again and again, hoping and praying for a different answer from Fernando.

“Come on, I’m really tired, can we go to sleep?

“Fernando.”

“I’m going to wait for you in bed,” was all he said, dismissing you completely.

You walked out of the room at the same time he went into the bathroom, you held your head up until you softly closed the door behind you, then finally the tears spilled. You went to the bathroom downstairs, the farthest you could go away from him as the sobs broke from your throat violently.

Sliding down on the floor you wondered if everything was lie. You knew it wasn’t but the fact that he thought you were only there for the money was completely wrong. How long had he been thinking that? How many times had he heard you say “I love you” and thought it wasn’t true? You didn’t even know what to do or what to feel. How could you feel if this whole time while you were pouring your heart into this relationship he thought you were just leeching off of him? How can you love someone so deeply and still live with the fact they think of you as a freeloader? Did he joke with his friends like yeah, she’s a gold digger but at least she’s loyal and fucks me well?

Your chest hurt and you felt repulsive, making your way to the living room, opening a bottle of his whiskey, not bothering with a glass, just sipping it straight from the bottle.

What could you do now? Talk to him? Tell him you’re not with him for his money? After two whole years accepting his every gift with open arms? After getting a fortune worth of presents? After letting him pay for your books, textbooks, new laptop? After letting him pay for dates, trips, clothes, accessories, shoes and jewelry?

You hated yourself for it now. For taking it just because you thought it was his love language, not because deep down he was trying to keep you, buying your affection.

After spending the whole night awake, nursing a bottle and with only your repulsive thoughts as company, you watched as the sun rose from the big living room window.

It was time to fix it.

Fernando was an early riser almost every morning, so after the sun fully rose in the sky, you went in the kitchen and prepared coffee, to cut the effect of the alcohol. You weren’t drunk, really.

“Morning, bebé! You woke up earlier than me today?” He said, passing you with a kiss to your cheek, then going to the cabinet for a mug. He was so unbothered by your argument last night it was pissing you off.

“I didn’t sleep.”

He paused, looking at your face.

“We should talk.” You readied yourself. Fernando stopped in front of you, attentive. “I’ve been hearing a lot this past week that I’m a gold digger, this has been making me feel some kind of way, and I wanted to address this with you. Last night you were tired and we probably misunderstood each other…”

“Where are you going with this, corazón?” He asked, confused.

“I’m not with you for your money, Fernando. Do you understand that?”

He stood silent, which only made you feel worse.

“I want you to stop giving me presents without a proper occasion. And I want you to stop paying stuff for me. And we’re going to share house bills.” You laid it all out, after thinking hard all throughout the night.

“What are you talking about? No, I don’t accept it.” He frowned, “that wasn’t the deal when we moved in together.”

“Because I didn’t know everything back then. I don’t want to feel like I’m taking advantage of you, and I don’t live at your cost like this.”

“No, Y/N.” He took a step back, shaking his head as if you had said the most stupid thing he had ever heard.

“I’m serious, Fernando.”

“No, I’m not negotiating this. I pay for everything. That’s how it’s been and that’s how it will be.”

“I just want to show you that I’m not with you for the money! I’m not what they’re calling me! No more presents, Fernando.”

“You took them.”

“Because I thought you wanted me to have them!”

“I wanted you to have them so you would want to stay with me!”

You gasped, hearing it from his mouth finally. The tears finally started flowing, and you swallowed, trying to keep your voice steady even with the tempest happening inside your chest, staining the beautiful story of your relationship. Well, what you thought was a beautiful relationship.

“You’re just like them, right?” You said, defeated, “you think of me as a gold digging whore. You probably never defended me when they called me that.”

“I gave you all this stuff because I didn’t want you to leave!”

“It was never about the fucking money! And guess what? You lost me anyway!” You marched to the bedroom, Fernando hot on your heels.

“Don’t. Don’t leave.” He said, following you. “I did everything for you to never leave!”

“Everything but loving me! I don’t fucking care!” You unlatched your necklace, putting it on the table, “I don’t care about your money and the jewelry and the clothes and the bags!” You put down your watch and earrings too. Everything he had given you not because he wanted you or loved you, but because he thought they were the price to pay to keep you around.

“Fuck, I love you!” You shouted, feeling desperate and lost, “And all you see me as is something you paid for. A toy you can parade around and look pretty in your arm! You don’t even love me, Fernando. I could write a list about everything I love about you, and none of it would be your stupid money!”

In the closet, you picked a bag, and started putting your clothes inside. Then you noticed how most of them were gifts from him. So you put it back, taking only what you had bought yourself. Fernando stood there, helpless as you packed, putting clothes and a few shoes in a couple of baggage. You also took your study material and laptop, which he had gifted you, but you knew you’d refund him.

“Stop, no,” Fernando tried to stop you as went into the garage, “I do, I love you.”

“You don’t, Fernando. You’re not even sure of that.” You shook your head, putting the bags inside the car. The Aston Martin he had given you, “you have to think. If you really love me as you say, then why do you love me? Because I’m eye candy you can take to galas? Because I’m a good fuck? Because I stand there and look pretty when you have to kiss those old men’s asses?”

You didn’t give him a second, getting in the car and starting the engine.

“This is so messed up, oh my god, how could I let myself believe this for two entire years?” You whispered to yourself, accelerating the car and driving off.

Through the rear view, you could see Fernando standing there, doing nothing.

You drove and wiped the tears away, breathing in. When you moved in with Fernando, you hadn’t been able to get out of the lease of your flat because you still had a few months on your renting contract. Now it felt like luck that you had a place to stay. Despite getting your doctorate degree, you didn’t have any friends in the city, only a few acquaintances here and there.

You got to the apartament, not bothering to unpack your bags, only leaving it on the bedroom floor. You took your study material and with your phone in hand, you sent Fernando via transfer a total 4000 euros, for what you hoped covered the “laptop and books expenses” as you wrote in the little note.

Then you laid on the bed, crying yourself to sleep.

You woke up and it was getting dark, the sun setting outside. Checking your phone, there were fourteen missed calls from Fernando, and a notification, showing that he had returned the money to you, with additional 30000 euros and only “no” written on the little note. Huffing, you sent the whole amount back and blocked him, so he couldn’t transfer any more money to you.

He still had not realized what was wrong, he was still thinking money was your motivation.

The next few days felt like a haze, you were barely getting any sleep, only eating and writing your research, which ultimately reminded you of Fernando, since it was a study on aerodynamics. You couldn’t lie to yourself, thinking of how many times you stared at the door, waiting and hoping he would understand and come after you.

Fernando had work commitments in England, and going back to Madrid, he ended up giving George and his girlfriend a lift. Fernando was visibly not himself as soon as George saw him.

“How’s Y/N doing?” George asked, casually. But from the way Fernando’s face dropped, he could tell something was wrong, “trouble with the missus?” He joked, tried to lighten the mood.

“She- uh, she left.” Fernando muttered.

“What do you mean, she left?” Carmen joined the conversation, “She’s traveling?”

“No- no- I guess we broke up.”

“You guess?!” George’s voice went a little high pitched out of nervousness.

“Fernando, what happened?” Carmen tried to understand.

Despite not being exactly best friends, you and her were pretty close, always spending time together whenever both of you were on race weekends. The fact that you’re both engaged academics was also a common topic between you.

“You know about the rumors, right?” Fernando started, hesitating.

“What rumors?” George paused.

“That she’s only with me for the money,” Fernando muttered.

“All girlfriends of drivers are accused of that at some point, what’s new?” George pushed.

“I might have implied that I agree with that.”

“Oh, my god,” Carmen covered her mouth, absolutely shocked, “What?”

“Fernando, respectfully- Are you fucking insane?!” George exclaimed, jaw slack, “she looks at you all lovey-dovey, like- like- you’re the only person in the entire earth and you think she’s with you for the money?”

“She would never be like that! She’s so smart and kind,” Carmen added.

“I know- I just- I don’t know! Maybe I let the rumors get to my head!” he ran both hands over his face, exasperated, “And she always lets me pay, and she always takes the presents, I don’t know!”

Then, Fernando explained about how you tried to pay for dinner, and you refused his gift, he told them about the argument and how you wanted to set boundaries about money and gifts.

“She was trying to prove to you that she’s not a freeloader. She was trying to show that the money didn’t matter, and what did you do? You pushed more money on her!” George practically spat the words in Fernando’s face.

“Eres muy estúpido, Fernando. Te lo digo como tu amiga.” Carmen muttered.

“I don’t know what she said but I heard the word stupid, and I agree.” George backed her up, “Go talk to her, apologize and fix it.”

“That is,” Carmen interrupted, face serious, “If you really love her. Otherwise, better let her go find someone who can really love her, it’s what she deserves. Love and happiness.”

Fernando swallowed, his chest constricting with the mere thought of you moving on, of someone else having you in their arms.

Getting back home without you there felt like a thick fog day, cold and empty and he missed you, he missed his sun. He missed you jumping into his arms as soon as he opened the door. He missed the smell of the candles you always lit while studying. He even missed the little mess of textbooks, colorful highlighters and notes scattered around.

Home didn’t feel like home without you.

In the middle of the living room, there were big cardboard boxes, as he opened, he noticed they were full of clothes, shoes and bags he had gifted you throughout your relationship. In a smaller box, all the jewelry he had given you, even anniversary gifts. Even the beauty products he had given you like perfumes, makeup products, and face creams.

You had returned every single thing.

And on the coffee table, your keys to the house and the keys of your Aston Martin DB12.

It seemed like you had returned everything that could tie you to him, everything that made him wrongly call you a gold digger. And it felt painfully like a goodbye.

While mixing your homemade coffee, your eyes flicked to the door, then to your phone on the table, facing up. Despite the searing pain in your chest, and the sorrowful hole in your heart, maybe it was time to start to move on. It had been more than a week, if he wanted to come back to you, he would’ve come by now.

You got ready to meet with your advisor, and she brought up a topic that had been common now, about you taking a position as a professor for a couple of Engineering subjects. She said it’d be good for you to work in your area while on the last few months before getting your doctorate degree. You had mostly denied the other times she offered the position, because you wanted more time with Fernando, because you wanted the freedom to fly around the world following him to his races.

Now- now you had more bills to pay and no boyfriend to follow. You also had more free time, a broken heart and a vacant mind.

“I’m considering the position. I believe it could do me good right now.” You said to her, thoughtful, “can I confirm with you tomorrow?”

After going through the meeting and getting a review on your thesis, you went back to your flat, taking a long shower. You had just dressed in pajamas when the doorbell rang. With long strides, you were faced with Carmen, and not Fernando as you expected.

“From your face I take it he hasn’t spoken to you, yes?” Carmen muttered, seeing the visible disappointment in your face.

“I’m sorry, please come in,” you opened the door wider, forcing a smile. Carmen had a couple of bags that she set on a nearby table.

“He told us what happened, I’m so sorry,” Carmen hugged you and you immediately started crying, since you had no one to talk about the past few days, “I brought chocolates and wine, so we can talk.”

Over chocolates and a bottle of Merlot, you told her everything, starting at the deuxmoi rumor. She looked horrified when you said word for word what had transpired the last time you spoke with him.

“I just don’t understand why he didn’t come talk to you yet,” Carmen added, at some point.

“Because he won’t, at all.” You say with your voice shaky from crying so much the past hour.

“Don’t say that. He loves you.” Carmen said.

“I’m not entirely sure about that,” you shrugged, pretending it didn’t hurt as much as it did, “He’ll find another one, someone who can enjoy his money since it seems like it’s all that matters to him.”

Carmen didn’t say anything to that and you knew she couldn’t argue with the facts. Later, George dropped by to get her, going up to your flat so he could hug you quickly and mutter “I’m sorry”.

With a heavy heart, you slowly rebuild a healthy routine again, doing grocery shopping, cooking meals, going to the gym, studying and everything.

One day, you went back home after going on a shopping spree, and as you got into the hall, Fernando was there, standing in your hall, waiting by the door. You stopped, almost losing the timing to leave the elevator. When you walked closer, he noticed you. Meeting his eyes was different this time, uncertain and a little distant.

“What do you want?” You asked, you hoped your voice would come out harsh, but it only sounded defeated.

“Can we talk?” He asked, and you nodded, opening the door and letting him in.

There was a moment of awkward silence as you put the shopping bags down. After doing that, you crossed your arms and stood against a side table, waiting quietly.

“I’m sorry. I’m really sorry, for not fully believing your love, I guess I was so focused in protecting myself, that I ended up hurting you, and it was never my intention,” Fernando stood just two steps away from you, his eyes holding such pain and fear, that it made you crumble, he didn’t look like he’d been sleeping well, “I love you, I really do. For who you are and nothing else.”

You wanted to give in so bad, you wanted to run into his arms and never let go, but you also didn’t want to suffer again.

“How do you know? You never knew that for two years, how would you know it now?” You shook your head, tears starting to fill your eyes again.

“Because it is hard being without you,” he said, like he was trying to find the right words, “I can’t sleep without you. My life is miserable without you around.”

You only nodded, covering your lips with a hand. You wanted to tell him that you had not gotten proper sleep without him, that your life feels empty, that not knowing about him everyday was painful. But you needed more. You needed something you could hold onto, and maybe, just maybe take another chance at the two of you.

“I- I made a list. Like you said,” his voice failed, and you noticed his hand was shaking a little as he held the paper, “I love you. I love coming home to you every time and feel our house so lived in. I love how you always hug me first thing after I’m back home. I love the silly texts you send me randomly throughout the day talking about your day. I love the selfies with your tongue out too,” that made you two chuckle, and the movement made your tears fall, so you wiped them, staring at him intently, “I love that you’re always the smartest person in any room we’re in. I love that you’re humble, never showing off or being a smartass. I love how cheeky and witty you are. I love that you talk in your sleep. I love that scar in your knee, because it shows you were always a little naughty, even as a kid. I love that there’s always fresh flowers at home. I love that you love kids. I love that you get along well with my family. I love that you-”

He didn’t finish, as you closed the distance and launched yourself at him, hugging him tight. Fernando held you close, pressing you into him, inhaling your perfume, feeling like he was at home again.

“I’m so sorry, princesa. So so sorry. I missed you so much,” he whispered against your cheek, kissing it softly.

“I missed you too, Nando” you said, eyes closed and allowing yourself to just feel him again, “I love you so much.”

You let go, holding his face with both hands, looking into his eyes before kissing him softly. He, on the other hand, held the back of your neck firmly, licking your mouth open, until he had tasted your mouth, leaving you breathless.

“Come back home with me, princesa.”

At that, you took a step back.

“I- I can’t, Nando. I got a new job at the university.”

“What?”

“I thought you weren’t coming back to me,” you muttered, and your words made him wince, “I needed something to hold on to.”

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry” he ran a hand over his face, looking embarrassed for taking so long to come after you.

“I believe we should- we should take a step back, rethink a bit about our dynamic,” you told him, hesitant of his reaction.

“Are you unsure about us?” He asked, visibly worried.

“No, no- I love you- I do-” You started, taking his hand, holding it firmly against yours, “I just think we should rewind a bit. Have my own place and pay my own bills, I just don’t want to feel like that again, I need to regain my dignity in this.”

He kept quiet, because he knew deep down you were right. He felt awful about all the misunderstandings, but he knew you probably felt much, much worse. He should just get on his knees and be thankful you still loved him and still wanted him. He’d take all your conditions to get back with him.

And deep down both of you knew it was for the best. Moving out and living alone, working and seeing him occasionally as a boyfriend.

Holding your face, he kissed you, leaving little pecks on your lips, your cheeks, your chin, your forehead. You closed your eyes, letting him kiss you, and he muttered how much loved you and how much he missed you, kissing down the side of your neck. He walked you inside and let him, feeling his hands quickly peeling your clothes off, leaving a trail of clothes from the living room to your bedroom.

You parted so you could undress him, pulling at his jacket and the t-shirt.

“I love you, I love you so much,” he mumbled into a kiss, laying you down in bed.

You laid on the bed and he hugged him, making space for him between your legs. He held you, touching your nose with his gently.

“I missed you, princesa,” he kissed your cheek, “I promise I’ll do better from now on.”

“I know you will, baby.” You kissed him again, running your hand down his back, “make love to me now.”

He filled you up at once, and you groaned into his mouth, scratching your nails down his back as you cunt welcomed him. As he fucked into you, slowly at first then picking up pace, he muttered how much he loved you and how sorry he was, over and over.

As you cuddled after, quietly enjoying each other’s company.

“What do we do about all your gifts?”

“Give them away,” you shrugged.

“Can I convince you to take it back?”

“Not if you still want me in your life,” you muttered. He nodded, placing a gentle kiss on your shoulder.

“You know how I know I love you?” Fernando asked, drawing invisible patterns on your back, “there’s an engagement ring in the third drawer of my bedside table.”

You hesitated for a second, but he knew you well. Better than anyone else.

“I know what you said, I just wanted to let you know. I bought it a week after you moved in with me. I know we’re rewinding a little bit for now, but you’ll be my wife one day.”

“And what if I refuse when you propose?” You smirked, and he pulled your leg over his waist.

“You won’t.”

Note: UGH IDK GUYS :(

#f1 fanfic #f1 x reader #f1 imagine #f1 fic #f1 #formula 1 #fernando alonso x you #fernando alonso x reader #fernando alonso #Spotify

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