#I would say the character as a whole but I can’t imagine 03 having Nearly as much inflection in its tone

[hrokkall]

GRABS YOU

Wanna share your voice claims ideas? 👀

Genuinely do Not think I have enough to warrant making even half a list but P03 sounds like Edgar from Electric Dreams 1984 in my brain but ONLY extremely specific scenes like this particular bit for about 10 seconds when he’s being unplugged.

#Re: Inbox #Tasmanianstripes #Again it’s not EXACTLY what I picture but it’s the closest I’ve heard #I would say the character as a whole but I can’t imagine 03 having Nearly as much inflection in its tone #Barring the bit at the end of act 3 where it gives the whole ''I fooled you all!'' speech #Tried to screenrecord and upload just the lines I'm talking about but tumblr... doesn't let you add #internal video when replying to an ask apparently #Warning for loud noises on this; tried to skip past the bit where there's a ton of screaming but who knows if I did the timestamp correctly #Back to voiceclaims though; the Scrybes are in a weird grey area #Because I don't HC Lesh//y to speak at all outside of animal mimicry/telepathically beaming the words into your brain #(Though I guess that *could* have a specific sound to it as opposed to varying person-to-person) #And Mora straight up has a voice actress so I wouldn't want to stray from that #Which just leaves Mags and 03 #Neither of which I have really been able to find anything I say ''YES!! THAT!!'' to #03's is just a ''Yeah sure close enough.'' #These tags have gotten longer than the actual answer; I'm just gonna hit send on this one 💀

[violettelueur]

— JUJUTSU KAISEN EPISODE FOUR || CURSE WOMB MUST DIE

↳ featuring : itadori yuji + fushiguro megumi + kugisaki nobara + ryomen sukuna + ijichi kiyotaka from jujutsu kaisen

↳ warnings : swearing + violence + mention of blood + mention of poison + EXTREME grammar issues

↳ form : story

↳ published : 23 february

↳ pronouns : she/her

↳ word count : 6.1k

↳ synopsis : within the jujutsu world, there were three famous clans to be aware of, the Kamo clan, Zenin clan and the Gojo clan. However, unknown to many sorcerers there was one last family that was known to be apart of the three, only for them to disappear after the golden era leading some to speculate that they had died in battle after the sealing of ryomen sukuna, but....

↳ previous episode : girl of steel

↳ next episode : curse womb must die II

↳ barista’s notes : i am back again with another episode of jujutsu kaisen everyone ʕ •ᴥ•ʔゝ☆ i hope you guys haven’t gotten bored with this whole series, to be honest i forgot how long they take to write since it is a whole epsiode i am trying to retell with a new character in ʕ ㅇ ᴥ ㅇʔ ALSO i have created a masterlist for it as well as future stories i might write in the future! are you excited?  ʕ￫ᴥ￩　ʔ

BEFORE READING, I NEED YOU TO BE AWARE OF THIS:

1. the whole story belongs to Gege Akutami and the credits go to them and them only

2. the spell curses used belong to Tite Kubo due to them being the ‘Kidos’ being used on the manga and anime ‘Bleach’ - but none is mentioned in this chapter

2.5 for the ‘cursed spells’/kidos (bleach) i will link this video here and tell you the time stamp to check out what i am intending to show - remember i add a few twist here and there by adding the katana to link with Y/N’s cursed technique

Destructive Curse Spell number one: Sho : 3:26-3:34

Binding Curse Spell number eighty-one: Danku : 3:03-3:07

3. if you are confused on anything, please don’t hesitate to message me since i know this whole thing is so confusing

Shutting your dorm room door closed, you carefully wrapped yourself in the thin white cardigan you had brought out with you before quietly making your way outside the Jujutsu Tech dormitory wanting some form of fresh air due to your incapability to sleep for the time being.

As you began to walk around aimlessly, you quickly looked down upon your phone - nearly blinded by the brightness of the screen -  to find out that it was exactly 2 am making you come to the conclusion that everyone was probably asleep and that no one would find you out for the time being. 

To be honest, it wasn’t a surprise that you couldn’t sleep, it wasn’t like you never had these types of nights before. Although, they were becoming a bit more common than what you would have liked during your lifetime, especially at the age you were now where sleep was essential.

Finally making it to the track field (where you were supposed to be in the next few hours for training), you slowly crouched down to take a seat on the stone steps that lead to the tracks itself before cuddling into the warm cardigan since the light winds were slightly colder than what you have imagined.

‘It’s such a drag knowing that I have to be here, later on, to train with the second-years,’ you thought to yourself for a second before letting out a sigh of frustration, while running your hand through your hair as if it was some coping mechanism for the pending stress that was about to explode anytime soon.

“How long has it been?” you quietly uttered to yourself before looking onto the field as if there was something interesting insights or someone was going to answer your rhetorical question.

“A week? Two?” you continuously questioned yourself, before gently placing your hand on your upper arm as if you still felt the linger cursed technique you had used during the battle you had with him.

‘You possess such intellect, such skill, such power and such talent and yet you refuse to go against me with your full potential, are you mocking me?’

“Maybe,” you whispered your answer, before going back to the electronic device you had in your hand to open Spotify as you decided you needed something to fill up the silence with hint sounds of the wind, grasshoppers and passing cars that were surrounding you. 

However, before you could press play on the chosen song you deemed was quiet enough to play out loud, there was a sudden presence your felt from behind causing you to raise your index finger to hit them with some sort of curse spell to warn them only for a familiar voice to call out.

“It’s just me”

Turning your body around, you found a tall male with erratic hair standing behind you with a non-expressive face before looking down at the dog that was right beside him with what some people say a happy grin on its face. 

Turning back around, you shut your phone off before placing it in the pocket of your black joggers that you wore to bed, allowing the shikigami sorcerer to sit beside you with a gap while his divine dog took the opportunity to sit between the two bodies as it processed to rest it’s head on your shoulder, which you allowed since it was adorable not to deny.

“Can’t sleep?” you asked Fushiguro, as you processed to look onto the field while raising your hand to pet the dog’s head causing it to let out a happy sound before further resting itself upon your shoulder.

“Yeah..same for you?” Fushiguro then questioned, leading you to let out a hum in agreement to tell him you were in the same situation before silence took over between both you and him once again.

To be honest, the silence between you both wasn’t awkward at all, it surprisingly felt natural. Although, even if it was comfortable between you and Fushiguro, you both still have questions for each other, well rather Fushiguro had more questions for you than you had for him. 

He just didn’t know where to start.

“L/N?” Fushiguro called out quietly (so quiet that some people might not be able to hear), leading you to turn your head towards his direction while his divine dog’s head covered your vision slightly. “How strong are you?” he then asked, causing you to express a confused look before turning back to the track field in front of you as if you were trying to find the right response to answer his question as if it wasn’t an easy one to reply to.

“Not that strong,” you replied in a nonchalant tone, leading Fushiguro to look at you with widened eyes as your returned response didn’t make any sense to him. 

It really didn’t at all.

However, he didn’t have the strength to question your answer.

If he had listened to you back then, would your other classmate be alive with you all right now?

“Fushiguro?” you now called out causing the sorcerer to give you a hum informing you that he was listening in to what you had to ask or say. 

“How long has it been since that day?”

                                              ꕥ

The rain was currently pouring. However, it wasn’t too heavy nor was it too light but it was enough to make the mission that you, Itadori, Fushiguro and Kugisaki were assigned to be eerier than it considered to be.

“Our window verified the curse womb three hours ago,” a man, who you recalled was named Ijichi Kiyotaka, mentioned before continued with, “once ninety per cent were successfully evacuated, they made the call to seal off the centre, citizens within a 500-metre radius has been evacuated, as well”.

‘Only ninety per cent? That means either the other ten are missing in there…..or dead’

“Ijichi-san, question,” Itadori stated before raising his hand as if he was in a classroom asking a teacher a question, “what’s a ‘window’ here?”

“A window is a member of Jujutsu Tech who can see curses, they aren’t sorcerers, though,” Ijichi explained as his arms were behind his back in a professional manner.

“Oh, okay,” Itadori muttered, as he understood the explanation that was given to him.

“Let’s continue,” Ijichi quickly stated as it seemed he had more information to be given to all four of you. 

“Detainee Block 2, at present, five detainees remain there with the curse womb, if this curse womb is the type that metamorphoses, we predict it will become a special-grade cursed spirit,” Ijichi announced in a serious tone causing you, Fushiguro and Kugisaki to express a stern look upon your faces.

‘Special-grade? Wouldn’t they make a special-grade sorcerer take the job instead of us? Unless….’

“Hey, so...I still don’t really understand what ‘special grade’ means,” Itadori expressed with an innocent face as he looked at the three of you leading Fushiguro and Kugisaki to give him the fed-up look, while you just shifted your eyesight at your classmate since you understood why he didn’t understand any of the terminologies that were thrown at him, your adoptive father wasn’t the best teacher when it came to non-practical work after all.

“Then allow me to explain it so even idiots can understand,” Ijichi stated as if he was calling Itadori an ‘idiot’ causing you to zone out of the quick lesson to look at the detention centre that was in front of everyone right now. From what you could sense, there was an overwhelming presence beginning to loom over from the building that the other sorcerers didn’t seem to feel causing you to look at Itadori will a worried expression since you knew he didn’t have control of the newfound cursed energy he had gained from eating Sukuna’s finger.

Looking around to make sure no one noticed you, you quietly went up to Itadori from behind before hovering your hand over the back of his neck before using your cursed energy for the spell you were trying to prepare for him in advance.

‘This should protect him for one hit if we come into a surprise attack, but there is nothing else I can do without the other’s noticing’ you thought in a frustrated mindset before silently taking a step back to where you were previous to make sure no one noticed that you had planted a protective spell on your classmate.

“That’s real bad!” Itadori shouted, causing you to zone back into the conversation that was in the process.

“Normally a jujutsu sorcerer on par with the cursed spirit would take on the mission. On a day like today, that would be Gojo-sensei,” Fushiguro explained into further detail, while Kugisaki seemed to now paint a worried expression on her face.

“I-I see,” Itadori stuttered as he looked at the erratic-haired sorcerer before looking around as he then asked, “so where is Gojo-sensei?” which made sense since none of the sorcerers in front of you had ever fought with a special-grade from what you could sense.

“Away on business,” Fushiguro answered in a serious tone, which caused Itadori to give him a confused look as he then stated, “he’s not someone who should be loafing around that school in the first place,”.

‘But that doesn’t explain why four first-years have been sent to deal with this situation...”

“Unfortunately, we’re constantly short-handed in this business, you’ll often have to undertake missions beyond your power,” Ijichi expressed as he pushed up his glasses. “The current case, however, is an abnormal one, and most urgent. Do not fight under any circumstances, if you encounter a special-grade, your options are to either run or die,” Ijichi then stated with a serious tone leading you to internally scoff at the warning he gave.

‘That’s easier said than done’

Even though you knew he cared about the safety of everyone that was preparing to go in, it was ridiculous to say to any sorcerer not to fight since once you knew once you encountered a curse, there was no way of getting out of the fight at all, you knew that from experience.

“Please just listen to your fears, do not forget that your mission here is strictly the verification and rescue of survivors,” Ijichi repeated.

“Sorry, but as we are talking those ‘survivors’ in there are most likely dead, there is only a one to five per cent chance that there are any survivors,” you commented with a straight face causing all three of your classmates to look at you with a surprised expression on what you just said, but before anyone could deny your statement.

“Excuse me! Excuse me, where’s Tadashi?!” a worried voice cried, causing everyone to look, only to find a woman waving her hand while guards tried to push her back, preventing her to come any closer to all of you.

“Is Tadashi...Is my son Tadashi all right?!” the woman asked in a panic, leading you to give her a sympathetic look before you slowly walked up to her with a calm expression on your face. 

‘If someone asks if someone is okay at the beginning of the mission, take it like a way a doctor calms down a patient or how a police officer informs the public about a case, dear. Imagine it from your perspective, you would want to know if I was okay, wouldn’t you?’

‘Yeah, I would mother’

“Ma’am, we are going inside to see if there is anyone else in the building, if we find your son, we will inform you as quickly as we can, is that okay with you?” you gently asked the worried mother since you needed to calm her down in the worst-case scenario that you, your classmates and she had to prepare for. 

Looking at you straight in the eye, she timidly nodded at you causing you to present her with a small smile to help calm her down further. “Please, I need you to step away for the time being since there is a possibility that someone has spread a poisonous gas throughout the centre, but I can not give you any more detail than I can offer,” you explained to her causing the mother’s expression to turned into a shocked one before dropping onto her knees as she grew numb.

“Please find my son,” she begged quietly as tears flowed down her face.

“We’ll try our best ma’am,” you answered her before turning back to your classmates as they looked at you with amazed faces since it seemed like you had done this a million times before - like a profession.

‘Let’s hope that one to five per cent change is in your favour’

“Fushiguro, Kugisaki, Gojo, we’re gonna save them!” Itadori announced in a determined tone causing everyone to turn to him with a determined expression on their faces.

“Of course we are,” Kugisaki answered.

                                          ꕥ

All four of you were now walking towards the entrance of Eushi Detention Centre’s Detainee Block 2 after you have given your black cloth bag that was holding your katana for Ijichi to hold since there was no need to hide the weapon anymore.

“Be careful,” Ijichi said, before raising his fingers to prepare the sleeve that was needed to consume the detention centre, so the outside world didn’t see what was going on inside.

Suddenly, a dark blue aura was cast onto the middle of the sky before slowly descending on all sides like a dome covering a plate of food causing the sky to darken to Itadori’s surprise.

“It’s becoming night!” Itadori shouted as he took a full preview of what was going on, leading Fushiguro to take a glance behind him to inform his obvious classmate that it was the veil Ijichi was placing.

“There’s a residential area nearby, so the barrier conceals us from the outside world,” Fushiguro explained, leading Itadori to express his amazement while Kugisaki gave him the irritated look as well comment since it was basic sorcerer knowledge to know what a veil was.

Suddenly, you heard a loud clap that echoed around the area causing you to look in the direction on where you heard it, only to see Fushiguro’s hands be in a position that was familiar to you.

“Demon Dog!” Fushiguro said before a shower suddenly took form from his to summon the white divine dog that you knew so well from the first time you met him to appear as it howled in response. “He’ll let us know if the curse gets close,” Fushiugro informed you all as the dog looked in his master’s direction.

“Oh, I see!” Itadori said in a light tone before he made his way towards the shikigami to pet it’s snow-white while chanting ‘good boy’ to it as he then expressed his gratitude for its support. However, it seemed like the dog was interested in something else as it stood up on its back legs to make its way towards you before whining as if it wanted something from you.

Looking down at the dog that was now staring at you with its yellow eyes, you couldn’t help but rub its head leading it to relish your affection that you were giving it as it moved it’s head further into your palm as if it can get more out of you.

“I think it’s time to go to Fushiguro don’t you think?” you asked the dog in a light tone, causing it to whine for a moment before going back to its master so it was prepared for the mission that it was about to undertake.

Pushing the door open, Fushiguro and Itadori were in front while Kugisaki and you were behind as everyone prepared themselves for what they were about to go into. “Let’s go,” Fushiguro stated before taking the first step leading the dog to follow in next as well for the rest of you.

However, before you took one step closer into the building you realised something was not what it seemed. From what you can recall, according to Ichiji, the building was said to be a two-story dorm and not the one, you were standing in front of right now, there was no possible way, it was too high up.

‘It’s not a maisonette, it’s too advanced for that,’ you thought as you continued to analyse the surroundings before concluding what you had dreaded, ‘it’s an incomplete Innate Domain, meaning the curse has already fully developed!”

“Hold up!” you shouted at the three sorcerers behind you causing them to pause before turning to look at you, only to find you staring up which led them to do the same leading them to realise why you had halted their movements in the first place.

“Right now, we’re in the middle of the development of an Innate Domain! Is there a door behind me?” you asked in a panic, causing everyone to look at you, only to discover the door had disappeared.

“Th-The door’s gone!” Itadori mentioned in a surprised tone causing you to look at him with widened eyes before turning around to only discover he wasn’t lying to you at all.

‘Shit! How the hell am I going to get everyone back safely? They don’t know how to deal with a special grade from what I can tell, let alone an incomplete Innate Domain’

“How?! We just came in through here, didn’t we?!” Kugisaki mentioned in a stutter as she pointed at the direction where the door should have been while Itadori nodded at her with a few cold sweats dripping down his face.

“What do we do? Ah, what do we do about this?” Itadori and Kugisaki sang as they danced in circles, in a way trying to ease their stress and the tension that came along with the whole situation nearly causing you to giggle at the sight.

“It’ll be fine, the dog remembers the scent of the entrance,” Fushiguro interrupted as he looked annoyed at the two dancers, while the mentioned dog looked back to check on everyone.

“Oh, my~” Itadori and Kugisaki warmheartedly expressed before they started to pet the dog once their mood was lifted with them shouted how they were going to give him jerky later and how much of a ‘good boy’ it was, letting the dog once again relish in the attention that it was being present with.

“You are way too calm!” Fushiguro angrily expressed at two since the mood didn’t match the setting they were in at all.

“You really are dependable, Fushiguro!” Itadori expressed with a grin causing Fushiguro to snap out of his anger. “Thanks to you, we’ll be able to recuse people and save ourselves, too!” Itadori then commented, leading Fushiguro to look at the ground before you suddenly decided to take the first step of carrying on since you were being cautious with the three other sorcerers with you.

‘How long has it been since I faced a special-grade in a fight?’

“Let’s keep moving,” the shikigami user commanded in a stern voice since he saw you making the first way through, letting the other two know that they needed to start moving as well.

While walking, there were the eerie echoes of your footstep causing you to wonder where the actual curse was before entering what seemed to be the centre of the domain. However, you suddenly paused leading the other three to wonder why you came to a halt before looking at the sight that you were looking in the direction of.

Being the first one to react, Itadori rushed to what seemed to be someone’s body - well half of it - and maybe as the second victim since there was a full skeleton that was seemed to be curled up in an excruciating way next to the main body causing you to give your condolences to whoever the person was before observing the area around you to make sure the mention special-grade curse wasn’t near at all.

“Atrocious,” Kugisaki commented in disgust as she stared at the corpses insight.

“That’s...three people, right?” Fushiguro questioned as he quickly took note of how many more victims or survivors there could be - if there were any at this point.

Crouching down, Itadori didn’t answer his classmate’s question, as he then tugged on the detention centre’s dark blue uniform to check the person’s identification, only to realise something that he didn’t want to happen.

“Let’s take this body back,” Itadori suddenly stated, causing confusion to rise within the group since they didn’t know what caused the salmon-haired boy to comment something like that.

“Huh?” Kugissaki asked in confusion.

“It’s that woman’s son,” Itadori regretfully stated, causing you to close your eyes before letting out an internal sign of disappointment before coming to the realisation that you weren’t really surprised at the outcome.

‘Sorry, Ma’am, it seemed the one to five chance wasn’t with you for today’

“But…” Kugisaki slowly stuttered out before being interrupted by Itadori as he then explained that the victim’s face wasn’t mangled and that they still had to give the body back to the mother since it wouldn’t be hard to accept that fact without the body, yet before he could carry on with the plan he was unexpectantly coming up with, he felt someone pull him back by the hood causing him to be surprised at the sudden movement.

“We have to find and verify two more, leave that body behind,” Fushiguro once again commanded, which caused Itadori to shout at him back as he didn’t understand why the body should be left behind.

“Quit joking around! We turned around, and the way we got in here was gone! We won’t be able to come back for it later!” Itadori stated.

“I didn’t say come back for it! I said to leave it behind!” Fushiguro argued back in the same volume of tone, trying to make Itadori understand the situation that they were in and it was not possible to bring the body back at all - there was no point to him. “I have no intention of risking my own life to save someone I had no intention of saving in the first place!” Fushiguro frustratingly stated, only leading Itadori to grab his collar in return as a way to rebuke.

“No intention of saving him? What do you mean?!” Itadori asked in a perplexed tone, confused on what Fushiguro meant when it was their mission to save the remaining survivors that might be in the centre right now.

“This is a juvenile detention centre, Jujutsu sorcerers are granted access to all information about the scene beforehand,” Fushiguro declared before continuing his explanation by stating, “this Okazaki Tadashi hit a little girl on her way home from school while driving without a license, it was his second offence of driving without a license,” leading Itadori to look at his friend in vexation and surprise at the news he was receiving about the man he was going to ‘save’.

“I know you’re stuck on saving lots of people and guiding them to proper deaths, but what are you going to do when someone you saved kills someone else in the future?” Fushiguro asked with a stern tone trying to make his point of view understandable to the boy in front of him.

“Then why did you bother saving me?!” Itadori cried out, as a way to rebuke his statement due to the situation of him being the vessel of Ryomen Sukuna, only to gain nothing but silence from the shikigami user in front of him as he tightened the grip on the collar he was grabbing.

“Oi stop being such drags, I didn’t come to Jujutsu Tech to hear your reasons for being a jujutsu sorcerer, get moving!” you demanded in a menacing tone before unhooking your katana that was secured on your lower back horizontally, preparing to use the weapon to separate them.

“Cut it out! Christ, what are you two doing?! You’re both idiots” Kugisaki shouted in equal frustration with you, as she made her way towards the two boys with her fists in the air.

“Think about the time and place if you-”

However, before she could continue the angry rant, she was suddenly sucked into the floor causing you to quickly react by trying to grab her hand, only to be too late when she was fully consumed into the hole that was created.

“Kugisaki?” Itadori called out in confused, only for Fushiguro to become shocked at the new situation that had occurred before turning forwards to see the sudden and dreadful outcome of his divine dog that was supposed to detect if any curses were near leading you to look at the same direction before suddenly feeling a presence of what you should have felt earlier.

‘If those two drags didn’t distract me with their argument, we shouldn’t have to worry about our wellbeing right now!’

“Itadori! L/N! We’re running, we’ll search for Kugisaki la-” Fushiguro panic before you suddenly screamed at both of them.

“DON’T MOVE!” you screamed, once you suddenly made eye contact on the curse that was standing right in near them, causing you to grip on your katana tighter as all three of you stayed completely still while you were coming up with a plan to see if you could put a distance between the curses and your classmate.

Suddenly, you saw Itadori’s shaky hand reach over to his weapon as he unleashed it from the leather casing before violently swinging it to cut the curse in some way, only for the sudden decapitation of his hand to be the result of his attempt causing massive amounts of blood to spill like a fountain.

“Itadori?” Fushiguro's voice shook while you were in the opposite of that mood right now.

Swiftly, you slide your feet around, landing between the boys before raising your katana making sure the tip on the black wooden casing was pointing at the special-grade curse’s face. 

“Destructive Curse Spell number one: Sho,” you chanted, causing your curse energy to travel from your arms to the length of your sword before a small shot of cursed energy to thrust its force against the curse’s face leading it to be violently pushed back against the concrete wall before turning towards Itadori with an angered expression, “I told you not to move and you decide to go against me!” you screamed in frustration before quickly turning back to look at the direction on where the special grade was flung in a confused but equally concentrated manner.

‘That curse spell isn’t even that strong, it’s my weakest, yet it managed to make it fly across the room, is it really a special grade by nature…..or did it eat something?’

“I can’t escape after it’s gotten this close! Hey, Sukuna! If I die, you die too, right?” Itadori determinedly asked, causing you to look at him with a startled expression.

‘Does this guy have a death warrant? Are you even listening to me?!’

“If you don’t want that, then help me out!” Itadori commanded leading you to further look at him like he was the craziest person in the world right now.

“Are you stupid?!” you screamed, only for Itadori to ignore you as Sukuna’s eye and mouth appeared on his cheek.

“Nope! Even if the parts of me inside you die, there are eighteen other fragments of my soul. Still, irritatingly enough, I don’t have control of this body, if you want to switch, go ahead and switch,” Sukuna taunted as he continued with his threats, “but once you do, I’ll kill that brat before the cursed spirit can, then I’ll go for that woman, she’s a lively one, I’ll have fun with her then I’ll go to her right there, she seemed like someone that knows how to fight,” leading you to place your weapon inches away from his eye.

“Stop talking, you’re making me lose concentration Sukuna,” you stated in a nonchalant tone before going back to find an explanation on why your cursed technique managed to give so much force to the special grade that was now starting to stand back up on its feet.

“I’m not going to let you do that!” Itadori declared in an inflamed tone, only for the King of Curses to taunt back without any hesitation.

“I bet! But if you’re too focused on me, your friends are gonna die,” Sukuna teased, causing you to look at the small eye and mouth with an annoyed look on your face.

“I said stop talking, you’re making me lose concentration,” you threateningly stated, only to suddenly realise that the special-grade was about to attack once again, leading to your cursed energy to flow from the palm of your hands to the tip of your fingers as your placed you left hand up like you were stopping someone.

“Binding Curse Spell number eighty-one: Danku!” you chanted, leading to the familiar large rectangular defensive wall to form in front of you, Itadori and Fushiguro, protecting you from cursed energy that the special-grade it was about to attack you with, but the concrete that wasn’t behind the wall didn’t seem to survive since the concrete turned into debris leaving evidence of its strength for you and Fushiguro to observe.

‘Pure cursed energy? So it doesn’t have any cursed techniques….ah what a drag…’ you concluded before turning to Fushiguro only to see him with widened eyes to that attack causing you to predict that he also thought the same thing as you.

“Fushiguro! Fushiguro! Fushiguro!” Itadori yelled out, trying to get the skikigami user’s attention before his third call caught his awareness as he turned to look at the screaming boy. “Take L/N and Kugisaki and get out of here!” Itadori demanded, causing you to look at him once again with an astonished look on your face, yet before you could grab his red collar in a way to argue his point, Itadori continued with, “I’ll keep this one bust until you three are out, as soon as you’re out, give me some kind of signal and once you do...I’ll switch with Sukuna,” to which Fushiguro screamed at his reckless plan. However, you were too focused on the curse in front of you, wondering why it was considered a special-grade then it took some sort of damage from a weak technique of yours.

As of right now, the curse seemed to be enjoying itself even when you managed to damage it and deflect its attack with two simple cursed spells. There was no point in letting your katana out of its wooden casing, it wouldn't be able to take the damage but there was the situation with Kugisaki being somewhere in the building as well, so there was a risk of taking your weapon out.

‘It’s definitely ate something, but what? There is a chance that it is Sukuna’s finger but that’s rare, besides it seemed like the fool hasn’t sensed anything from it to be his finger’

However, before you could even prepare your next attack to exorcise the curse to end the life and death situation Itadori and Fushiguro were in, you surprisingly felt someone grab your wrist before pulling you away from the battle that you had started leading you to look at the culprit to find out it was Fushiguro, who was dragging you away from the situation.

“What are you doing?!” you shouted before trying to pry your hand away from his grasp, only for him to tighten his hold in a way to not let you escape.

“We’re running, we need to find Kugisaki before giving Itadori the signal to get out of there,” Fushiguro explained in a stressed manner leading you to scream back at him on the thoughtless decision that had been made without your input.

“Are you crazy? You need to take back Itadori and let me fight that curse Fushiguro, he won’t be able to survive at all!” you yelled out in anger.

“Are you the crazy one? We don’t know what grade sorcerer you are and you want to exorcise that thing?!” Fushiguro argued back.

“So what makes Itadori capable? He doesn’t know how to control cursed energy or any techniques, TAKE ME BACK!” you panicked, only for his grip to tighten more at your comment of going back.

No one words were exchanged.

                                            ꕥ

Within a flash, you and Fushiguro managed to grab Kugisaki before she was devoured by the curse she was fighting against while both of you were trying to find her.

At this current moment in time, you were outside the exit with Kugisaki in Ijichi’s arm, Fushiguro on the floor tired from running while you were standing behind the other divine dog that was giving Itadori the signal. However, even though you knew the signal was for Itadori to switch with Sukuna, you were conflicted on the idea leading your body to move forward towards the entrance to enter again. 

However, you were stopped by the black dog using its body to push you back, once it was done with the signal it was giving to Itadori.

“Stop it!” Fushiguro stated as he stood up to put his arm in front of you to prevent you from moving forward. However, you were angry, pissed off and frustrated at this point.

“You should have listened to me, you drag!” you screamed at him before gripping the arm that was blocking your path. However, while you were looking at the erratic-haired sorcerer with pure rage in your eyes, Fushiguro was startled about the immense amount of cursed energy that was surrounding you as he was shocked that he didn’t notice it earlier when he had met you, it was alarming and intimidating to him as he didn’t even stand a chance to dominant his over you, it extended in power and strength than he had ever thought it would have.

How did you hide it so well?

                                             ꕥ

Currently, you were at the gated entrance to the Eushi Detention Centre, where you had laid Kugisaki down at the back seats of the car before closing the door to stand in the rain with Fushiguro - much to your annoyance.

“Please explain the evacuation area to ten kilometres,” Fushiguro stated in a serious tone since he didn't know what could happen next since Itadori was still inside the building. Expanding the evacuation area was the best thing to do right now.

“What about you and Gojo?” Ijichi asked in a worried tone as he turned to look at you both through the gap on the window of his car.

“We’ll wait here for Itadori to return,” you stated in a serious tone to which Ichiji understood since you were so adamant to enter back to the building despite the many attempts Fushiguro tried to stop you.

“After I take Kugisaki-san to the hospital, I’ll return as quickly as possible,” Ijichi declared, only for Fushiguro to give a discouraged look to him before stating, “no, there wouldn’t be much point in you-”

“I need you to come back but I want you to stay at least one kilometre away from the evacuation area, at this rate if Itadori has switched, I want you to be as safe as possible but in the end, if you don’t hear from us at least an hour when you come back, go back to Jujutsu Tech immediately,” you interrupted Fushiguro by pushing your body in front of him while giving Ijichi the instructions you needed him to hear since you didn’t know the possible outcome that this was going to go to. 

“If you can, please send a grade one sorcerer or higher but that won’t be necessary if I don't die,” you sternly commented, leading both Fushiguro and Ijichi to shiver at the statement you just announced.

Still shaken at what you had just said, Ijichi sent himself off before closing the window to prevent any cold raindrops from coming at him as he drove away from the area you and Fushiguro were standing in right now.

“If you don’t want to listen to me, I ain’t going to listen to you at all then Fushiguro,” you stated with a frown painted on your face before looking back at the building behind his body.

Taking your katana, you looked at the bottom of the handle to find a metal loop at the bottom with a red charm tied before it was simply slowly unwinded by you as you prepared for the worst that was about to come.

“What are you doing L/N?” Fushiguro asked in a worried tone, causing you to turn to look at him with a deadpan expression.

“Just preparing for the worst Fushiguro”

 © violettelueur 2021 : written and published by violettelueur - do not steal or repost

#jujutsu kaisen #jjk #jujutsu kaisen imagines #jujutsu kaisen imagine #jjk imagines #jjk imagine #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jjk x reader #itadori yuji #yuji itadori #fushiguro megumi #megumi fushiguro #kugisaki nobara #nobara kugisaki #ryomen sukuna #sukuna #ijichi kiyotaka #kiyotaka ijichi #itadori yuji x reader #fushiguro megumi x reader #kugisaki nobara x reader #ryomen sukuna x reader #sukuna x reader #itadori yuji imagines #itadori yuji imagine #fushiguro megumi imagines #fushiguro megumi imagine #kugisaki nobara imagines #kugisaki nobara imagine #ryomen sukuna imagines

[when-to-sit-in-silence]

Mama’s Boy

Rated: T Relationships: Lonnie Byers & Will Byers Characters: Will Byers, Lonnie Byers, Eleven | Jane Hopper, Mike Wheeler, Mentioned Joyce Byers Additional Tags: Post Season/Series 03, Emotional Manipulation, Abusive Parents, Past Abuse, Verbal Abuse, Confrontations, Homophobic Language, Lonnie Byers Being An Asshole

Summary: Will’s dad comes to visit the day after his birthday, and Will is right to have a bad feeling about it. But he’s not the same scared little kid he used to be.

Will’s dad is standing on the front stoop.

Wearing a pair of cheap sunglasses and grinding a half-smoked cigarette beneath the toe of his boot, Lonnie Byers reaches for the doorbell a second time, and with the curtains parted by the width of two fingers, Will stands there in the living room watching dumbstruck.

“Who is it?” he hears Mike call from the dining room as the house fills with another impatient chime. Will doesn’t respond. He can hardly believe his eyes. He figures the chances he’s only imagining his father there are too great to give an answer.

Lonnie tries to peer through the frosted glass on the front door, and when he doesn’t make anything out, he turns his gaze back out to the driveway, empty but for the unfamiliar sedan that must’ve been the rental he’d driven from – wherever cars can be rented around here. Will has serious doubts Lonnie put the hours into driving halfway across the country himself. Running his tobacco-stained fingers through his hair, Lonnie’s shoulders rise and fall with a sigh. He throws one final glance at the door before he starts to descend the concrete steps.

A sudden surge of panic shoots through Will’s chest, the reality of the moment finally striking him like a hammer. He abandons the curtains for the front door and turns the lock.

“Dad?” he says as he very nearly tears the thing off its hinges trying to get it open before Lonnie reaches the car. Pausing in the middle of the lawn, Lonnie spins back around. Behind his dark glasses, he sizes Will up in the door frame, and the corner of his lip lifts into smirk.

“Holy shit,” Lonnie exclaims. “Look at you, huh? Finally hit that growth spurt.”

Immediately, there is that feeling of being seen Will had gone so long without sensing, a feeling he could only attribute to the beady, watchful stare of his father growing up, a signal for the muttered comment he would make under his breath in the seconds to follow. Will would feel like all his skin had been stripped away, like he stood there exposed to the elements without his body’s most basic line of defense against the world pulsing and living all around him. He resists the urge to squirm, attempting to harden his exterior with the mindful elevation of his chin. “What are you doing here?”

Lonnie laughs like it’s obvious. “What do you think, son?” He pulls something out of his back pocket, a green envelope marked with his name in permanent marker. “Figure I’d surprise you for your birthday.”

“My birthday was yesterday,” Will replies, unimpressed.

“Come on, kid, I know that. Didn’t want to intrude on any plans you had.” Lonnie returns to the front stoop and hands Will the envelope. He stares at it, uninterested in what’s inside while his mind scrambles to come up with some sort of response to the absurdity of the situation. His dad, Lonnie Byers, showing up unannounced to their new house two thousand miles away to hand him a birthday card without so much as a phone call since 1983. Will might laugh if he wasn’t so uneasy.

All he says is, “Thanks.”

“Your brother home?” asks Lonnie, looking over Will’s shoulder into the house.

“He’s working.”

“And your mom?”

“Same.” Will actually isn’t sure where his mother is. Joyce had left pretty suddenly that morning before dawn, waking Will and El briefly to tell them everything was fine; she was just going on a trip for a few days and would be back before the next weekend. When Will had gotten out of bed that morning and realized he hadn’t dreamt that moment, Jonathan mentioned something about Murray Bauman, that journalist guy who’d shown up last summer to help them close the gate beneath Starcourt Mall. All of them had been chewing on some pretty troublesome questions the last several hours – but Lonnie doesn’t need to know any of that.  Honestly, the sooner he thinks Joyce will be back, the better this whole situation might turn out.

Lonnie removes his sunglasses and hangs him off the neckline of his t-shirt. “Yeah, thought so. Alright, then.” He gestures to the house. “You gonna show me around the place?”

“Oh – uh, yeah, I – I guess.” Will can’t get over how weird this feels. Momentarily, he forgets how to operate his legs before stepping aside to let Lonnie through the door. “Come in.”

That same naked feeling Will has when his father stares at him, he gets as Lonnie sweeps his gaze around the front entryway and adjoining living room. He surely recognizes a lot of the same furniture they’ve always owned, notes that the place has a staircase leading to a second story but really doesn’t look that much bigger than the old house back in Hawkins. It isn’t nice. Will can admit that, but it never bothered him until Lonnie set his eyes on it for himself. All the sudden, he wishes the place was spotless, shiny and elegant like everything his family isn’t. And then he hates himself for wanting that.

Lonnie’s eyes land on a photograph hanging above the sofa for an especially long pair of seconds. It’s just a portrait of Will, Jonathan, and Joyce taken at his middle school graduation last year, but Will holds his breath waiting for Lonnie to look away.

“So, it’s the three of you here?” he says, walking over to adjust an old hand-made throw blanket draped across the arm of the sofa. “Certainly looks like you’ve made yourselves at home.”

“Well, it’s been almost six months,” murmurs Will.

“You like it here?”

“Yeah,” he lies.

“Jonathan like it here?”

“Yeah.” That’s not a lie. Probably not, anyway. Jonathan seems to like it the most out of any of them, but then again, that really isn’t saying much.

Lonnie’s about to ask another question when a voice calls out from the other room. “Who’s there, Will?”

A moment later, Mike and El appear, both pausing as soon as they see Lonnie sifting through the magazines and newspapers fanned out across the coffee table.

“Oh, Will,” Lonnie says, eyes shifting between the newcomers, “You didn’t tell me I was intruding on something. I didn’t know you had friends over.”

“I mean – no, no, you’re not – no,” Will stammers. He puts himself between his father and his friends, flicking his index finger back and forth. “They’re just – they’re just here.”

Lonnie blinks at his son. “You gonna introduce me?”

“Right. Right. Uh, guys,” he says to Mike and El. “This is my Dad. Lonnie. Mr. Byers. Whatever. And, Dad, this is Mike. He’s visiting from Hawkins for Spring Break. And that’s – that’s –” Will flounders to decide which name to give. Teachers and most other adults have gotten to know Eleven as Jane Hopper, but she tends to introduce herself by her nickname. As he stands there stuttering, it occurs to him El’s is a complicated story that might be best kept hidden.

Read the Rest on Ao3

#stranger things #stranger things 4 #stranger things fanfiction #will byers #lonnie byers #joyce byers #the byers #byers

[randombtsprincessa]

Asylum || Epilogue

Author: Randombtsprincessa

Characters: Kim Namjoon x Reader

Chapter:  01  02  03  04  05  06  07  08  09

A/N: I am bidding a tearful goodbye to this story. It has been helpful in so many degrees and I hope you got out of it as much as I tried to put into it.

7 YEARS LATER

“I don’t know what’s more horrible, Yoongi Hyung dancing, or Taehyung trying to rap.” Hoseok whined, the heavy base of his beer bottle hitting the table with a thud.

He was immediately met with throes of protests.

“I’m not that bad, jerk.” Yoongi said, unbothered as usual, not even pulling the bottle completely away from his lips.

“I’m fairly decent,” Taehyung cried, at which Yoongi glanced at me, a wink thrown out of the corner of his eye, way too fast for anyone else to catch.

“Sure, Tae, why don’t you give us a small demonstration?” he called.

The younger boy immediately cowed, mumbling something about ‘not being prepared’ but bravely picked up an empty bottle, turning it over to form a mike and then started spitting out words.

There was a small silence before Jimin started to clap, cheering for his best friend and Yoongi, Hoseok and I politely clapped.

“Well then, where’s Namjoon?” Yoongi turned to look at you.

“He’s with Jin actually. You know how they are. Some kids in the pediatric ward, showed interest and off they both went. He’ll be here soon enough.” I rolled my eyes fondly and Yoongi chuckled.

“Well, as long as it makes kids happy.” He sighed, his fingers drumming on the table as if he was playing the piano too.

“How are you?” Jimin continued.

“I’m fine. Better as a matter of fact, I’m really glad we all managed to get together again. It’s been ages since I saw you.” I commented.

I grinned when I remembered the last time I’d seen them all together. The dining hall of the Sanctuary, where I’d bid them a tearful goodbye, making them promise to get better as soon as they could so we could see each other out of our white uniforms and promising to keep visiting as much as I could.

Life had picked up at a staggering pace once I was out and visits had to be cut short till slowly they all got out.

Now seven years later, here we were.

I’d built upon my late degrees, gotten in a whirlwind education before settling down firmly. Now I worked as a Public Relations department head in the entertainment company that Yoongi and Namjoon had set up together when they were both out. It was a nice, comfortable job and it helped me deal with the anxiety. You know what they say, practice made perfect.

Jin and I had stayed friends, long while he rose up on the medical hierarchy, now owning a medical centre of his own. We made it a point to catch up once in a while, if not both of us were busy.

Hoseok had gone further with his dance, taking up the position of a back up dancer before opening his dance studio, teaching kids and teens. Jimin had soon, claiming that it wasn’t too stressful and at least this way he still got to keep a connection with his dancer spirit.

Taehyung had finally made it home. His step dad was long gone, his mother working hard to provide for whatever was left of their family. It wasn’t until her son returned that they both got back on their feet. Maybe money didn’t bring happiness after all.

Yoongi and Namjoon were a lot more complicated. Yoongi had returned to the music scene amid a lot of media coverage. His entertainment had dropped him but he started one from the scratch, building it up brick by brick to where it was now. Big Hit Entertainment snagged award after award, its reach stretching out to almost all the corners of the world. All because Yoongi kept his head and motto of getting as much artistic freedom as he could.

It had been a year later when he visited me, asking me to take up my position in managing his world wide image and while I’d been on the rocks about the publicity of it, he’d always been a good convincer.

Soon enough, Namjoon had joined the fold, leaving his parent’s house, amid many loud arguments, threats and emotional blackmail.

It had taken him a while to completely get out of his parent’s shadow before Yoongi had made good on his promise, swooping down and carrying him to work for him.

Namjoon had proven his skill magnificently and by the time his own songs made it to the charts, his parents had given up.

Call it arrogance but I was proud of them all, dusting them off to rise back up like phoenixes.

I glanced at my phone to check the time before standing.

“Guys, I’ll see you all in a while. I have to go do something.” I said and the conversation lulled, everyone’s eyes turning to me in sympathy.

“Yeah sure, Y/N, we’ll be here.” Hoseok said gently and I smiled, nodding before grabbing the keys to my car and purse.

The slow breeze gently ruffled the edges of my coat, whistling in my hair as I stared down at the protruding smooth marble hunk in the ground.

The heels of my boots were digging into the softer dirt, constantly disturbed from hoards of visitors. Of course, he was so very popular.

I sighed, glancing down at the prettily wrapped bouquet of white roses, intermingled with reds, one of his favorite colors.

Time had strengthened my resolve to visit him. I could imagine him now, sitting with a pout, whining that I took so long. I smiled, a soft sad smile, knowing that all my imagination couldn’t make up for what I had had in reality.

Leaning over, I placed the bouquet in the vase, his parents had attached to the headstone, running a caressing hand over the ingrained words.

 Jeon Jungkook

1997 – 2018

Loving Son and Amazing Friend

You are the color painted on my heart that will never fade.

 Beautiful words, may be his mother picked them out, I thought. They couldn’t be more right. I stood up, dusting off the knees of my jeans as I drew back, breathing in the cold air of the cemetery. It was way too late to be visiting, so it was almost completely empty.

“I miss you, Kook. Still, always, forever…I wish you could be here. I’m…happier now. I think you helped me with that as well. I hope you’re happy where you are too.” I said quietly, my hand swiping at the small tear drop that had dripped over the edge of my eye.

The glint of gold caught my eye and I looked down at the ring circling my ring finger on the left hand, twisting it.

“I have someone now. I know I should’ve come before, to let you know. I just didn’t have it in me, I guess. I wanted to go through with it, imaging you were there. I know it’s cruel but I’m here now. I’ll be coming back a lot more. You’ll be seeing a whole lot more of me and him too...I’ll try bringing him as soon as I can. He works a lot, and so hard. Just like you.”

I smiled again and looked at the circle of his picture, front teeth poking through.

A large hand slid softly against mine, capturing my palm and entwining our fingers.

“Yoongi told me where you were so I had to come.” He said in his deep baritone and I nodded in response, my husband’s warmth driving away the cold of the atmosphere.

“I’m glad you did. I think he would’ve liked to meet you.” I said softly, feeling his eyes turn to look at the headstone as well, examining it with his keen gaze.

“I would’ve liked to meet him too.”

I turned to look at him, pulling his palm up to kiss the lightly calloused skin, right above where my ring glittered on his finger. “Thank you for coming for me.”

“Always,” he smiled back, drawing closer to wrap an arm around me, pulling me to rest my head on his shoulder as we stared down at the grave of my best friend.

I closed my eyes going back to the day when he’d proposed.

All limbs and clumsy as usual as he stumbled into the office, making me laugh as Yoongi shook his head.

“Yah, man, you can’t act like a goof today.” I heard Yoongi mutter as he went to pat down the front of his suit.

“What’s today?” I asked curiously, feeling his eyes widen and look to the older man for help.

“Nothing, nothing, I’ll be in my office.” Yoongi swept out and left me alone with him as he drew closer to smile nervously at me.

“Hi,” I smiled, leaning forward to press a soft kiss to his plump lips which he returned a split second later.

I pulled back, frowning. “Is something wrong?”

“Nope,” he mumbled, turning away from me before sighing and rubbing the back of his neck.

“Actually, I wanted to ask you something.”

I waited, watching as he took a deep breath and then slowly sank down to one knee.

There was silence as I gasped, taking a quick step back, to watch him look up at me with a glint in his eyes, shining behind his glasses.

“Y/N, you have stayed with me throughout my thick and thin. You have grounded me, and encouraged me to reach for the skies. You have made me happy in times when I thought I would never be. I know we haven’t dated very long, but I have known you for long enough to know you’re it, baby. I love you so much, I have never wanted something so much, before my music. So would you, after that terrible speech, please marry me?” he dug into his jacket pocket and pulled out a silver ring, the solitaire on it bright with the promise of hope.

“Oh my god, you idiot,” I whispered.

It was true we hadn’t been dating long. It had started with a drunken confession, one of the many catch up parties I held at my place. Long after everyone had passed out in my living room or guest room, I and he had shared stories and his yearning for me had spilled out, as he liked to call out.

Now, after nearly two years of marriage, I liked to say it was him growing a pair.

Then, however, looking at my future husband looking up at me like I put stars in his galaxy, what else could I say but…

“Yes, of course, I’ll marry you.”

The sentence was barely out before he was getting to his feet, mouth clashing against mine.

“You think he would’ve approved?” I heard my husband say.

With my eyes still closed, I felt him start to lead me away, turning my body so we could head to the car.

“Yes, I think so.” I smiled looking up at him as he nodded to himself.

“Hey, he would’ve loved you.” I said, more firmly and he looked at me, a thoughtful look on his face before nodding again, this time more assertive and understanding.

The sleek black of the car waited for us at the edge of the lawn and as he reached out to open the door of the car, I squeezed his hand.

“Thank you, Namjoon.” I said softly.

He stopped before turned to cup my face, giving me a gentle kiss on my forehead.

“Thank you, Y/N.” he said.

I smiled.

The future looked good enough for now…and it was enough.

#namjoon angst #namjoon fanfic #namjoon smut #namjoon fluff #namjoon #bts smut #bts angst #bts fluff #bts fanfic #bts #namjoon x reader #asylum

[fadinginfluencerblaze]

Fallen Dreams

 Disclaimer~ Art is devised by me and all editorial work is a solo operation. “Fallen,” will be my last publication before my vacation: https://adventvoice.newgrounds.com/news/post/1057611 If you would like commissions or requests for art work done please visit my patreon  account   https://www.patreon.com/AdventVoice  https://adventvoice.newgrounds.com/news/post/1057550      https://adventvoice.newgrounds.com/news/post/1057522

From several authorities of art and creativity, I’ve heard something after completing “Loving My Dragon,” something I’ve not heard since I was sixteen. My ability in the arts is worth more than a few hearts, likes and the endorsements of a few passerbys. It is better than what people have been forced to digest in the past twenty four years. Could be longer really. Depends on your tolerance for main stream media.

Forced to settle, due to never being exposed to minds similar to my own. Which there are a lot of us. I’ve realized as I dig deeper into the internet, blogs, and journals of other dreamers.

There was a study, a social experiment really, given by Facebook and other online platforms, seeking to gauge how to rate worker performance by emoji. Wanting to reward creative minds who earn the most accolades and applause of the people. It can become rather addictive and I find I may be falling into that same trend. Advertising more or less for the approbation of people and not so much for pay.

I explained this to a few supporters and they were shocked. Believing me to be worth far more than the few seconds of increased impressions on twitter and the level of dinner table conversation I can influence with a few well directed bards and illustrations of the latest trending topic.

Now if only I could find a paying sponsor that believes the same thing. Then me and the Dream Weaver would really go places. Here’s the thing about me, that is different from your average ambitious and dedicated creator. I don’t want to go anywhere my friends won’t be invited to reap the benefits.    

I’ve seen too much in this life to believe I can do anything on my own and be a success at it. You know I remember a time when people could have 500+ Facebook friends and no one spend a dollar with or on each other. On anything that could turn a profit. Nearly a thousand people talking, interacting, mingling and no money is made on the effort. Oh there is a lot of sexy talk, a lot of people locked up cause the girl is underage and the guy is enthralled with her pictures. Oh there was a lot of room fo shows like “Cheaters,” to corner a market in tracking people via location recognition devices on the broadband signatures, but for nearly ten years, no one was making any real money that would put them on the Forbes list as the best entrepreneur, besides those buying out all of the larger retail stores and Disney. Could be why I spend so much money on everyone else and not on myself. Makes me feel like I am saving the small business owners world, one click at a time.

The loss of Tina-Raze  on the                                         internet and access to her work has really made me appreciate the gift of visibility attributed to my own work. Sure I desire a physical gallery, but that cost money and you need dedicated staff. An online gallery is a one man show that will last as long as I have material, drive and an interactive audience. But when outside forces wage against one’s output and you are forced to erase everything and the years put into a showcase are no longer accessible; there is something daunting in the realization that everyday I have a chance to present anything, it should not be wasted on the trivial.

That is a sharp word because I highly doubt any of us have the authoritative right to define what is relevant or trivial to a creator. We can choose to interact with a product of not but we can’t say what someone was seeking to share has no value and thus erase them from existence. Not if we have any respect for the sanctity of the culture of art and the freedom in which we universally share this gift.      

~ I can never say enough of how much I appreciate the time we shared and I hope you return to the creative scene soon Tina-Raze.~

 I was reviewing “The Action Bible,” published by David Cook and illustrated by Sergio Cariello. It is an extensive publication that sought to illustrate the entire Bible, without the mistakes seen in previous renditions. It really took that whole group a while to find the best method to bring the Bible to life for young and old readers. I enjoyed their expressive illustrative skills and dedication to keeping to as much as can be had with a book as fantastic as the Bible.

What surprised me was the decision to eliminate the wings of angels and go with the ‘golden locks,’ signature.  For years the wings of angels and demons played a big part in aiding people in separating the two worlds. Without the wings, we are no more than disembodied spirits, ghosts of our formers selves and have a long journey yet to that pinnacle of glory that awaits the faithful. So it was taught to me at least.

There were a lot of ideas shared with me as boy that I spend little time contemplating now, because I am a man and more than assured of where I will be regardless of the mistakes in this life.

Others may doubt. Others may seek to clip my wings as I ascend. Others may project their insecurities and through bitter imaginations suggest that because of the curse of Ham, and Nimrod, the black race will never have a place in heaven. Some may build a whole world of fantastical proportions and place compartments, as zookeepers, locks and doors upon the gates, with signs that say, “If you never drank yourself into oblivion while on earth, you go here, you never loved anyone but God you go here, if you never where tempted to fuck a woman in the ass, though she begged for it, you go here.”

Another sign reads, “Collect your white wings for perfect attendance on the earth, to every Sunday meeting.” In this corner of heaven, you should have received a notice in your casket upon death, we were sure to send Gabriel, who after years of working for God, never got his golden winged promotion.

All who have been the black sheep of the family and have been to prison more than once in their life time be sure to collect your “black wings,” down isle five. Five is the number for grace and that is the only reason you’re hear, so don’t be cute and try to steal the ‘white wings,’ from your betters, who happen to shine a little sharper in hue and have more gold flakes in their hair.  

Those who were on earth and always fought for a righteous cause but failed to achieve any victory and remain angry behind the loss, you will receive your ‘red wings,’ in the dust falcons chamber. Some of you were clumsy on earth. Always bumping into things. Could never walk in heels or win a fashion show. Never turned the heads of men or appealed to women. Had a haunch in you back from never learning poise and posturing. Be sure to pick up your set of ‘spotted owl,’ wings, found in the east gate.

God is a god of order and angles never complain about their lot in heaven. There in whatever state they are in, there, they are to be content. There is a hint of a karmic code in association with the hue and colors of heaven and I was never one to believe in eastern influences when it comes to what my place in heaven would be like. I bend so far on earth, doing what I am told, I will go to heaven with white skin, white wings and all curse will be lifted from my body upon death and the curse of the previous life that marred me and made me black, while I was alive.  

I don’t think so. No, I’ve believed for a long time now that even black angles deserve to fly.   https://avproductionsblog.wordpress.com/2017/11/03/even-black-angels-deserve-to-fly/   https://avproductionsblog.wordpress.com/2017/03/18/you-read-it-here-first-black-amethyst/

I know I am not one to be denied.

Those of you that know how to twirl and twerk and shake your tail feathers, to win the Twerk Team Auditions https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rba9Z0CcWwQ&list=PLxwfHzPeMrG0N0E5Q3hBI_vRjXl-BqJAR or hang out with DJ UNK https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TeLdCPINh6M and earn 15 minutes of fame for being a video vixen with a phat ass, you can gather your eagle wings in the North tower. You should notice the Notorious BIG Smalls in the butlers uniform, set to serve and assist you wonderful ladies in fitting for your wings. He was always so good at zipping up Faith Evans dresses, we thought he’d like doing that for eternity.

Just stand there and zip wings.

He was way too dark and ugly so he never earned his own, but Puff Daddy sand and danced enough to ensure he’d make it in.  

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0LHyvFryW2M

What a joke, eh that might have been a cheap shot to bring Puff Daddy and Biggie into this conversation, it’s just, I am so sick of color being a barrier for people I guess. But as long as there are people, it will play a part in the minds of men and women that hold their minds hostage and will build politics and kingdoms centered around it. We will split God into figures of hued stone that resembles us in some fashion and suggest if he looks like me, then he is the one that created me. Odd considering how I can create characters of different races, backgrounds and love each with as much joy as the next. Why would I doubt God would love me less because my hair is not wavy or red and ruddy and my skin is not peached or pinked, but bronzed and red? Why is my tolerance for people and the curves, shapes and hues greater than that of a god and I am a mere man?

King Solomon, black but comely: I am glad I’ve never heard it taught, due to Solomon’s hue of skin the temple came down. Why are we so caught up with color that we would actually base our safety on it, risk our lives for it? When in the middle of turmoil, pain, upheaval, or simply in a moment of benign joy during an annual parade in the city, color should be the last thing discussed.

Ever since I was a boy, I’ve held a rigid position on color talk. I had to be set because all of my friends where white. My first love was a gothic princess, that used to put a cat collar and a leash around my neck. I lived in New Jersey and traveled to upstate New York and Ohio all the time and had so much fun playing video games, poker or reading comics with white people. Lived in Kansas where they tried to make me where a confederate uniform for the JROTC program. I did not know if it was a joke of if they really felt I would be honoring someone’s death by wearing that uniform.

I sought to be above the barriers poised by classification and color because I am an artist.  Because I am a storyteller and find relevance in people and can’t deny anyone based on my insecurities. I would not want someone to look at me and deny me access to anything. A communicable discussion, a forum, anything political, or my own comfort and what I believe to be good for me because of my color, because  their preconceived beliefs  denotes I should be marginalized.

I laughed myself into stitches, when during my junior year of highschool I realized all of the black children expected me to eat my lunch on the wall and away from the ‘preppy-white,’ children because they decided to self-segregate. Because they felt they did not have a life style or come from a family that could afford to play golf at the local country club. That they would not and were not admitted to be  apart of a society setting our grandparents and great grandparents were conditionally denied. I was infuriated by the idea of having to defend my home and right to existence, from people of my own color, if I ever married an Asian, white, Indian, Arab, anything besides a black woman. Especially to look at me, you’d never out right believe I was of African decent until I grew out my hair, which I would wear proudly, long and wild.

Fredrick Douglas had nothing on me in my desire to topple the walls the youth of my generation would build around themselves for the sake of traditions that should have been long dead. I would have loved to ignore this conversation, but it is all over the conservative radio, it is misdirected or used callously on liberal stations and it’s become too easy to degrade someone you might disagree with on a benign social discussion, as a racist.

It is too easy to believe I don’t attribute credibility in the claim when you call me an Uncle Tom because I speak well and try very hard not to curse when it would be so much more convenient to do so.          

https://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/730095

Honestly in the world of art this should never be a discussion and if life truly imitated art in this dynamic the world would be a better place. At least confrontation and schisms would not be as prevalent as it is today. To me it is like we begin the topic of hues and what is beautiful or seen in heaven, because we don’t have anything else to talk about.

I illustrated “Fallen,” as a response to how ridiculous of an idea of not being accepted by God or anyone would feel that way, because they are black. That someone would use the Bible to teach that and we would stop illustrating wings when talking about angels, in order to unify the spectrum of colors that make up our world into the kingdom of Zion.

Hard to imagine; in some aspects we still can’t agree on a marketable environment that unites black, white, Asian, and Indian dreamers.      

[inkinghubris]

Ep. 49: Fluff, Filler or Fundamental? Knowing Which Words to Add

Episode 49: Fluff, Filler or Fundamental?

Today we discuss how and when to use fluff words or filler words in your story. Choosing the right method can be the difference between a best selling novel and a book that never gets published. Get the details here! You can listen to the episode right here. The transcription is below the player. Feel free to add your comments using the comment section below.    

Episode 49 Transcript

Note: Transcripts are generated using a combination of speech recognition software and humans, as such, it may contain errors. Please, double-check the audio file before quoting anything from this page.   Introduction 00:00 I once ran a little test with some students to find out how they would describe a certain portion of a scene. The results were mixed, which I was expecting. What bothered me the most, though, was that the words used weren’t the right words. Today, I want to cover this little test and explain how and when to use the right words when you are filling out your story. Stay tuned, I’ll be right back. 00:34 01:01 Here is what I am going to do. I will recap the scene writing test for those of you that want to play along. I will set up the scene as I did for the students and explain what you need to do. If you want to play along, you can then pause the podcast while you write out your words. If you do not want to play along, then there is no need to pause the podcast. However, you are boring and you will have to bring your own snacks to our future parties.   Let Me Set the Scene 01:32 Ready? Okay. The scene takes place in the middle of a suspenseful thriller novel. We are nearing the climax of the main plot, where the protagonist is heading into the antagonist’s hideout for the big confrontation.

Abandoned lots can be cool... or creepy 01:48 This particular scene starts with the main character driving to an old, abandoned shopping mall. It is mid-day but the weather is dreary. In our rough draft, we have the protag driving up, parking in the parking lot and heading inside the mall. This is the part we need to add more words to. 02:13 Your job is to write this part of the scene, from the car entering the area and parking in the parking lot. I want you to describe the parking lot for the reader. 02:26 If you are playing along, go ahead and pause the podcast and get to work. If you are not playing along, I’m still mad at you and giving you a dirty look that you can’t see because this isn’t video.   Shall We Evaluate Your Work? 02:41 And we are back. Through the magic of audio, we have just traveled in time to a point where you have the assignment completed. For you it was several minutes, but for me it was a fraction of a second. I am an expert time traveler, so don’t try this at home.

Did you add the stray cat looking for food in your fluff and filler? 02:56 Now, before I tell you that you did this wrong, I am going to make a few guesses. Let’s see. You wrote about the deserted lot with the cracked and uneven pavement. You may have talked about how much grass or weeds are growing up through the asphalt. You might have mentioned the parking lot lights that are not working, maybe flickering, or the lenses are shattered and broken glass covers the ground. 03:28 Maybe you went into detail about the sounds the tires made as the main character drove slowly through the abandoned black top and that they didn’t worry about parking between the lines that are faded with time and exposure to the elements. 03:44 If I had to guess, you have between 200 and 500 words written about this parking lot. Maybe more. Am I close? Did you try extra hard to make this parking lot come to life? Maybe you threw in a few random animals running around or looking for nibbles?   You Probably Did it Wrong 04:07 If so, then you did it wrong. Don’t worry. It is a good exercise and if you concentrated on making that mental movie projector in your reader’s mind come on, good job. The problem here, is that you missed the entire point of this scene. 04:30 The scene takes place, if you recall, as we approach the climax. The hero is about to square off against the villain. The reader has been waiting for this confrontation for 200 or so pages, and you want to slow the whole thing down to accurately describe a fucking parking lot? 04:51 Fluff and filler do have their place. There are scenes and situations when we need to be more descriptive and poetic in our words. There are certain scenes when we need to stretch a two-sentence description into a three-page filler. This test, though, is not one of those times.   Fluff and Filler can be Too Much 05:15 One of the biggest mistakes I see is that writer’s want to fluff and fill every single page. This is nice in the beginning of the book, where you are bringing the reader into the world. Their entry point needs to be a nice landing (or a very sharp and abrupt one, depending on your mood).

Adding fluff and filler can be good, when done correctly. 05:39 As we ease them into the lives of our characters and they get to know everyone around and the actions these people are taking, our readers cherish fluffy scenes full or poetry and details. 05:54 As the story moves along, though, you need to get your ass in gear. If you have a reader so hooked that they are turning pages fast enough to start a fire, and you throw 300 words at them about a parking lot, you are going to piss off a lot of people.   Decide Where to Fluff and Fill 06:12 The first step in knowing which words to use and when to fluff or fill, is knowing what is at stake. The one thing you cannot do is get these massive story wheels rolling downhill and then slam on the breaks. Perhaps the only thing that will close a book faster is writing about shiny vampires. 06:38 Unless you, too, are marketing to 12 year-old girls who still write tiny hearts instead of a dot over their i’s, each scene will dictate what needs fluff and filler and what needs to get the fuck on with it, already.   Creating a Fluff and Filler Formula 06:54 Let’s see if we can find some winning formula. Of course, your own writing style, as well as the genre, purpose of your book and the scene you are writing will all dictate what needs to be said, there are some basic guidelines we can use. 07:12 First, let’s grab the old dictionary and define these terms. Fluff is the use of poetry and prose to lengthen or expand a sentence. I refer you to the common “show versus tell” example from Anton Chekhov. “Don’t tell me the moon is shining, show me the glint of light on the broken glass.” 07:42 This is an example of fluff. Filler is using extra words to say the same thing without being flowery. To piggyback from Chekhov, instead of fluff, the sentence with filler would be: Don’t tell me the moon is full, show me the light through a window. 08:08 Neither example is wrong. Neither is right. It is a matter of what you are writing and how important it is to the story. You will hear a lot of old timers telling you to move the story forward. Every word should push the reader to the next one.

Always work to move your story forward. The right speed and cadence is mandatory. 08:28 To an extent, I agree with this. However, there also needs to be a welcoming, comforting feeling to your book. So, we start our books with the proper landing for the reader. You have to remember, our story takes place at a certain point along a timeline. The characters were doing their thing long before page one, and will continue to do their thing long after the end of that story.   Think Like a Reader 09:03 As the writer, you decide where the story starts. It should be in a spot along that timeline where the reader can be dropped in safely. You want them to have the time and opportunity to get to know their new surroundings, meet their new friends and understand what is going on (the plot) and why it is happening (the stakes). 09:32 In these chapters fluff is more prevalent that filler. We ease them into our story and writing style. We start giving them questions they need to have answered and this is what propels the story forward. 09:50 By the time our main character pulls into that abandoned parking lot, the stakes are too high, the plot is at its peak and the reader doesn’t need or want your fluffy words. 10:04 You still have to set the scene, of course, but now is when fluff is eliminated and filler is only used on an as-needed basis. Is it important that the parking lot is abandoned? Not at all. We can add a broken down truck to the middle of the lot if we wanted. We can add all the broken glass that cracks under the main characters feet as they rush to the boarded up front doors of the mall. 10:34 We can use these filler words to show the truck and the broken glass, or the weeds, or those branches from last weeks storm. The best way to do it, though, is to have the character notice them. Perhaps she checks the truck for a weapon or to make sure no one is hiding near it. You can put that dilapidated truck in the lot, but it doesn’t need to be poetic or take up 2 pages of the climax. Get on with the story!   It's a Roller Coaster!

Picture your plot line as a roller coaster. 11:10 After the climax, when we are coming down the other side of that story arc, we can once again make the landing a bit softer. Of course you want to be careful here, too. Too much fluff and filler can lead to a bad ending. 11:28 I always like to imagine my story is a roller coaster. At this point the giant loop-de-loop is over and the reader is trying to catch their breath and slow their heart rate. I may throw in a few small turns on the roller coaster track, but nothing too serious. 11:48 Filler works well here, instead of fluff. It is still soft and welcoming, but it's not enveloping. If we go right from the climax where fluff and filler are nearly non-existent, and start using a lot of fluff again, the landing will be too jarring. Ease your reader into that next slow turn before you ramp it up again.   Trial and Error and Beta Readers 12:19 Playing with fluff and filler can be difficult. This is where trial and error along with utilizing Beta readers, will come in to play. The best course, though, is to picture yourself as the reader along this journey you are creating. 12:40 Start by giving them the absolute essentials; location, time of day, clothing, vocabulary, a mission. From there, decide how much of that scene needs to be expanded. You want to make each scene inviting and complete, but if it stall the story, then less is more. 13:05 Play around with your descriptions and actions, along with your dialog. If you are still having trouble, stop by the blog and let me know what’s going on and I will help you get it sorted. Just leave a comment and we will get you back on track. 13:22 Until next week kids, have fun; write words. 13:28   #learntowrite #lovewriting #authentic #writersclub #readingabook #writerlife #writersblog #writerssoul #amwriting #amwritingfiction #yalit #amediting #writerproblems #lifeofawriter #stationary #journaling #planning #writerscommunity #typewriter #writerslife #writersblock #screenwriter #typewriterpoetry #writercommunity #literature #ExtraDraft Read the full article

[kpopfanfictrash]

99 and Marlowe

Author: kpopfanfictrash

Pairing: You / Jongin

Genre: Soulmates!AU (kWritersNet May Prompt) + Angst 

Prompt: “You can’t eat solids, only liquids until Thursday.”

Rating: PG-13 

Word Count: 4,158

*Marlowe578 has entered the chat room* [10:24 PM]

Marlowe578: hey 99, you there? [10:26 PM]

Marlowe578: just watched West World and thought it was complete crap [10:28 PM]

*99problemsBUTaSnitchaintone has entered the chat room* [10:28 PM]

99problemsBUTaSni…: I shouldn’t be surprised by this. I know you hate everything, but I let myself hope. [10:29 PM]

Marlowe578: I refuse to be lectured by a child. It was just so impractical… If the robots were that terrifying, why didn’t they just burn them or destroy them? [10:30 PM]

99problemsBUTaSni…: See, this is what’s wrong with you old folk. Thinking you know everything. Nothing is new. Tell me, Marlowe – have you ever seen a robot? [10:32 PM]

Marlowe578: I’ve seen Christopher Walken, that’s pretty damn close [10:33 PM]

99problemsBUTaSni…: lol [10:33 PM]

99problemsBUTaSni…: There was nothing you liked about it??? [10:34 PM]

Jongin sits back, almost smiling in the light of his computer screen. 99 is young, that much is obvious by her ellipses and hyperbole. Everything is new, fresh and intense with her. Maybe that’s why Jongin enjoys her company. He knows 99 is a she from a slip-up she made once, accidentally sending him her grocery list instead of a novel attachment. Jongin opened it and nearly choked – tampons and avocados being the first and second items on that list.

If he doubted 99 was a female before, he didn’t then. You were, of course apologetic. Sending cringe emojis and memes until Jongin finally typed STOP in all capitals. That did it – rarely did Jongin express emotion outside of bored amusement, so when he did people tended to listen.

These days though, if Jongin delves into anything deeper than antipathy it’s near impossible to escape.

Jongin sets his fingers against the keyboard.

Marlowe578: The special effects of West World were cool [10:36 PM)

99problemsBUTaSni…: Wow, hopeless [10:36 PM]

99problemsBUTaSni…: Is that all you wanted to say? Message me and shit on my favorite TV show? [10:37 PM]

Marlowe578: hey, you’ve shat on plenty of my favorite things in the past [10:38 PM]

99problemsBUTaSni…: Name one!!! [10:38 PM]

Marlowe578: Tesla, Schubert, Oscar Wilde, Proust… [10:39 PM]

99problemsBUTaSni…: I said one [10:40 PM]

99problemsBUTaSni…: Also, only pretentious people like Proust [10:41 PM]

Marlowe578: why hello, pot. Calling the kettle black. [10:41 PM]

99problemsBUTaSni…: hahaha Okay, I apologize. You gave me one suggestion that I love, so I thank you [10:42 PM]

Marlowe578: you’re welcome for your introduction to higher culture [10:43 PM]

Jongin sits back, tapping his fingers against his wooden desk he’s had since 1982. He met 99 on accident when he entered the wrong chat room. Jongin was rather disgruntled at finding himself knee-deep in some Young Adult vampire teen novel and didn’t fail to make his displeasure known. As soon as he did though, 99 appeared.

Jongin was called a snob, a nitwit and a newt amongst other things that night. Most of her insults left him gaping, staring open-mouthed at his screen. The creativity of 99 was astounding, as was the speed with which she typed. Her words flowed like water, the sudden barrage of insults made all the more impressive by her fault-free grammar. Jongin actually laughed, the first time in a long time such a thing had happened and that was the beginning of his and 99’s friendship.

Sometime after that Jongin ended up telling her about the movie his URL was based on. Only Lovers Left Alive, a vampire movie released a few years back which still gave Jongin chills every time he watched it. His URL was an ode to a side character, Christopher Marlowe. In the film Marlowe is a vampire who writes most of Shakespeare’s plays in the sixteenth century.

Marlowe578.

The Marlowe part comes from the movie, 578 being the year in which Jongin was born.

It’s not unheard of, living for multiple centuries. Fifteen centuries, though – Jongin sighs. He’s an anomaly. Maybe it’s why he relates so much to that vampire movie. 99 is typing, Jongin watches her ellipses blink as he stretches his arms overhead. The noise of the city drifts through his open window, the only sound helping him sleep at night.

Jongin can’t relax without the background noise, without distractions that don’t require actual participation. It’s why he continues to lose himself in his worlds – in fiction, science, anything that’s not real life. It was a long time ago Jongin stopped caring for the real world. The real world hasn’t really worked out all that well for him.

Soulmate. The concept is intriguing, if somewhat unrelatable to Jongin at the moment. The idea of one person you’re destined for, another human who completes you. In a world with 7.3 billion people though, what’s the chance you’ll find that person during your lifetime?

Jongin imagines those odds would be slim, if it weren’t for the freezing. The freezing is the point where people age until twenty-ish and then just… stop. Halting their decay until meeting their other half. Once they find them, their soulmate – they start to age again. Slowly. Together. Jongin has searched for this person for 1,439 years. Frozen with this face, this body until his soulmate is found.

It seems like a long time, if he stops to think about it. It’s at the point though, where the passage of time has dulled any fear or sadness Jongin feels about his existence.

The saddest part of eternity is having to spend it alone. His parents, sister, friends – they’re all gone. Jongin watched them meet their soulmates. Watched them grow old, have families and eventually die. With each death, he felt the uncertain chasm inside him widen.

99 is young still.

99problemsBUTaSni…: I watched Only Lovers Left Alive again [10:44 PM]

Jongin sits up to respond.

Marlowe578: It’s one of my favorite things to introduce others to a thing that they love [10:45 PM]

99problemsBUTaSni…: Is that what you do for a living? Professional hobby-finder? You might want to start with Trump. He seems bored, trolling Twitter and whatnot [10:46 PM]

Marlowe578: sigh. 99, I was trying to enjoy my evening. Now I’m over here thinking about a pumpkin tyrant [10:48 PM]

99problemsBUTaSni…: LOL sorry. So, did you leave the house today? [10:49 PM]

Jongin glares at his screen, hands falling off his keyboard. 99 knows his age, knows how antipathetic he is towards the world and seems to take certain pleasure in teasing him. Not in a mean way, 99 is never mean. She isn’t malicious even when she’s calling him a sniveling, cowardly nincompoop. She’ll say all this and apologize moments later saying she doesn’t know what came over her and really hopes you have a nice day.

99 enjoys pushing Jongin’s buttons. Loves finding his triggers and making him angry, happy, sad. Her pushing has led Jongin to do some rather stupid things over the past year. Bungee jumping, line dancing, going to the circus. All of which Jongin was instructed to report back following. That’s how long he’s been talking to 99 for now – just over a year.

Marlowe578: I left the house. Went to the park, stared at a few squirrels and wondered how it’s possible they haven’t evolved in over 1,000 years [10:51 PM]

99problemsBUTaSni…: But why would they need to? They’ve got us humans feeding them, extending their species [10:52 PM]

Marlowe578: true. The park was too sunny. I squinted at various children and ended up going home [10:53 PM]

99problemsBUTaSni…: It must be so strange to see you in person, since you’re an actual grandpa trapped in the body of a young adult. Does Hollywood know about you? [10:55 PM]

Marlowe578: we can’t all be a few years past our freeze date, still confident that the world will do right by us [10:56 PM]

99problemsBUTaSni…: : (  [10:56 PM]

99problemsBUTaSni…: She’s out there, Marlowe. I know she is. [10:57 PM]

Jongin shuts his eyes. Keeping them closed until there’s another ping from his computer.

99problemsBUTaSni…: If she never shows though, at least you’ll have me [10:58 PM]

99problemsBUTaSni…: an actual bundle of sunshine! [10:58 PM]

99problemsBUTaSni…: the queen of quips! [10:59 PM]

99problemsBUTaSni…: the gatherer of geniality! [10:59 PM]

99problemsBUTaSni…: the minister of magic! No, wait that’s different [11:00 PM]

Marlowe578: let me know when you’re done [11:00 PM]

Marlowe578: … jester of joviality [11:01 PM]

99problemsBUTaSni…: Omg a JOKE? A JOKE! THIS, FROM THE MONARCH OF MONOTONE [11:02 PM]

Marlowe578: I don’t want to admit I’m laughing, but I am [11:03 PM]

99problemsBUTaSni…: Good! Haha okay Marlowe, got to go – sleep is calling. Tell me the new thing you do tomorrow, k? [11:05 PM]

99problemsBUTaSni…: night! [11:05 PM]

Marlowe578: night [11:06 PM]

*99problemsBUTaSnitchaintone has exited the chat room* [11:07 PM]

Marlowe578: sweet dreams [11:09 PM]

Jongin stares blankly at the page. Quickly, he shuts his laptop.

His bedroom is dark and he rubs his eyes, staring out the window at the concrete beyond. 99 isn’t real, she’s just a fantasy. An online persona, a portion of human that’s not whole. They might be friends, they might be friendly – but definitely no more than that.

99 wouldn’t think of Jongin in that way, anyways. She’s still in that phase of her life where everything is new, everything is exciting. Where possibility lies around every corner and the idea of her soulmate is still somewhere far in the future. A hypothetical concept, rather than tangible.

Jongin stands, stripping his t-shirt to toss this in a corner. His pants quickly follow, leaving him naked but for his boxers. As Jongin collapses on his bed, he stares up at the ceiling. Planning methodically for what he’ll do tomorrow.

Breakfast, sure. Eggs or maybe toast. He’ll work from home since Jongin is a computer engineer, one who takes government projects when he feels like it – mainly whenever he’s bored. It’s not like Jongin needs the money at this point, it’s more that he doesn’t like being idle. Jongin made his fortune early on. It’s not too difficult to do, given enough time and real estate. Jongin just likes working, likes something to do with his time that’s not thinking about the one thing he doesn’t have.

Jongin falls asleep slowly, the hum of his computer mingling with the street outside. Drifting over in waves until softly, he’s pulled under.

Jongin’s computer pings first the next night.

*99problemsBUTaSnitchaintone has entered the chat room* [10:50 PM]

99problemsBUTaSni…: Marlowe, are you up? [10:51 PM]

*Marlowe578 has entered the chat room* [10:53 PM]

Marlowe578: good evening [10:54 PM]

99problemsBUTaSni…: Marlowe… sigh. Today was absolute shit. [10:55 PM]

Jongin blinks at his cursor. This is unusual. Normally it’s 99 who consoles him, not the other way around. Slowly, he lowers his hands.

Marlowe578: what happened? [10:56 PM]

99 starts to type, then stops. Jongin pictures her erasing. Lowering her head in frustration before typing again.

99problemsBUTaSni…: My boyfriend broke up with me. [10:59 PM]

Jongin falls back in his seat. Ah. There it is, the answer to the question he didn’t even know how to ask. 99 is taken – or she was. It appears she’s now single, very much so. Bending forward, Jongin types back.

Marlowe578: he’s an idiot [11:00 PM]

99problemsBUTaSni…: He’s actually very intelligent. He went to a prestigious university, scored highly in standardized testing. [11:02 PM]

Marlowe578: an intelligent, emotionally stunted idiot [11:04 PM]

99problemsBUTaSni…: haha [11:04 PM]

99problemsBUTaSni…: I guess I knew this was coming. We’ve been dating for over a year and … no fireworks. No spark, no buzz, no zap. Aren’t you supposed to feel a zap when you meet your soulmate? [11:06 PM]

Marlowe578: you make it sound like a bug spray [11:06 PM]

Jongin stares at the screen for a while longer before he types again.

Marlowe578: my sister said it felt like sunshine. She was in the shade, beneath a giant elm tree when her skin… she said it glowed. Glowed, when she met him. [11:08 PM]

99problemsBUTaSni…: You have a sister? [11:09 PM]

Marlowe578: *had [11:10 PM]

99problemsBUTaSni…: Oh, fuck. I’m sorry, I wasn’t thinking. This whole thing just … I’m sorry. My problems are unimportant, compared to that [11:13 PM]

A smile crosses Jongin’s lips.

Marlowe578: don’t be sorry. It’s not often I get to talk about her. She’s been gone a long time now [11:14 PM]

99problemsBUTaSni…: I’m still sorry [11:15 PM]

Marlowe578: stop. Tell me what happened [11:16 PM]

99problemsBUTaSni…: Well. He wasn’t my soulmate. I never felt that glow, I guess. But I still cared… He didn’t seem to think caring was enough [11:18 PM]

Jongin’s fingers curl into fists and he very slowly releases them. It’s infuriating anyone would hurt 99. She gives so much of herself – gives so easily and without judgement. Jongin wishes he could be like that. It’s not just the passage of time that’s made him this way – even when he was young, he was scared to be alive.

Scared of going outside his comfort zone, in case he was rejected. The idea of someone hurting 99 for being what Jongin never could be, makes him furious.

Marlowe578: he’s stupid if he thinks the love of soulmates is the only love that matters. All love is important, not just his [11:20 PM]

99problemsBUTaSni…: Believe it or not, you just made me feel better J [11:22 PM]

Marlowe578: good. [11:23 PM]

Jongin settles back to stare at his screen. He’s about to say more when she responds.

99problemsBUTaSni…: Do you ever get scared? Scared your soulmate has already come and gone and somehow you missed them [11:25 PM]

Jongin can’t quite breathe. Without realizing it, 99 has hit upon the exact fear which keeps him up at night. What if his soulmate has already happened? What if they were already born, in the middle of living when they met their end. Though their bodies freeze around twenty, humans are still susceptible to harm.

Death by gunshot, stabbing, drowning, hanging. Anything could have happened to his soulmate – sweeping them from his life before they even entered. Leaving Jongin to be faced with an endless existence until his body disintegrates into the sun. He’ll never know that connection, never find the peace he craves. Somewhat shakily, Jongin types.

Marlowe578: Every day, 99. Every day I’m scared. [11:28 PM]

99problemsBUTaSni…: Well. At least I’m not alone, then [11:29 PM]

Marlowe578: As long as I’m here, 99. You’ll never be alone [11:30 PM]

99problemsBUTaSni…: Same. [11:31 PM]

99problemsBUTaSni…: I’m going to go to sleep, Marlowe… I’m exhausted. [11:32 PM]

99problemsBUTaSni…: Thank you [11:32 PM]

99problemsBUTaSni…: For being here [11:32 PM]

Marlowe578: you’re welcome. [11:33 PM]

Marlowe578: goodnight [11:34 PM]

*99problemsBUTaSnitchaintone has exited the chat room* [11:35 PM]

The next day, Jongin leaves his apartment. Maybe it’s 99’s influence, maybe it’s something else entirely. For whatever the reason, he decides to eat lunch outside. There’s a deli 99 told him about he’s been meaning to try. The problem has always been that they’re only open at lunchtime and don’t deliver – so it means Jongin would be forced to go in person.

When he steps out on the sidewalk, he squints uneasily into the sun before catching himself. He should at least try to be present. Walking through the city is disorienting. It’s crowded and noisy, two things Jongin greatly dislikes. If it weren’t for background noise, he would have left long ago.

The hustle and bustle flows around him, easing Jongin into the tide of people. He allows himself to be carried, pulled along by this wave of humanity. The deli is a few blocks away and Jongin manages to arrive relatively unscathed. Unscathed but for one, rather unsettling incident which occurs when he’s nearing the building.

It’s one block away when he feels it. The day is sunny, so for a second Jongin thinks he’s stepped from the shade. Thinks his jacket is too heavy but then – the oddest sensation passes over him. A light tingling starting at the base of his neck before wrapping around his chest, wrapping around his torso. It spirals down his arms, caressing his fingertips as Jongin’s gaze snaps up.

There’s so many people though – too many to see through and Jongin stumbles, gaze darting every which way. Though he moves fast, pushed on by the bustling crowd, the tingling begins to fade away. Soon it’s nothing and outside the sandwich shop Jongin comes to a halt. It’s been so long. Hundreds and hundreds of years and now that the moment is here, Jongin can barely think.

After a few minutes of standing there wild-eyed, he becomes aware he’s garnering attention. Slowly Jongin ducks into the deli, head buzzing as he steps up to the counter. He ends up ordering the completely wrong sandwich. It’s impossible to think, given the situation. Impossible to sit here in this small shop and eat so Jongin ends up taking his sandwich with him. Walking dazedly back to his apartment as he struggles with the nausea in his body.

What if he just lost his soulmate for good?

No – straightening his shoulders, Jongin takes a deep breath. This is good, this is a good thing. Jongin’s soulmate exists. They exist, they’re here and they’re in this city. Excitement growing, Jongin slowly – for the first time in years – allows himself a bubble of hope.

Later that night, his computer pings.

*99problemsBUTaSnitchaintone has entered the chat room* [10:05PM]

99problemsBUTaSni…: Marlowe!!!!!!!! [10:06 PM]

*Marlowe578 has entered the chat room* [10:07 PM]

Marlowe578: your apartment had better be on fire [10:07 PM]

99problemsBUTaSni…: What, why? [10:08 PM]

Marlowe578: only a fire can warrant eight exclamation points [10:09 PM]

99problemsBUTaSni…: har-dee-har. If my apartment were on fire, why would I be chatting you about it? [10:10 PM]

99problemsBUTaSni…: Anyways, I digress. Marlowe, something weird happened today [10:11 PM]

Marlowe578: what happened? [10:12 PM]

99problemsBUTaSni…: Okay I’m going to sound crazy but… I think I passed my soulmate [10:13 PM]

Jongin can’t breathe. Can’t do anything but stare at the screen. His room is suddenly too small, too claustrophobic and for a solid minute he stares.

99problemsBUTaSni…: Marlowe? [10:14 PM]      

99problemsBUTaSni…: Okay, I’m just going to tell you anyways. I was going to get coffee and this amazing warmth came over me… this tingling. I was warm and I was tingling and before you even make a joke no, I didn’t need to pee [10:16PM]

Slowly, Jongin exhales. 99 was going to get coffee. 99 passed her soulmate on her way to get coffee. There’s no way it could have been Jongin, since Jongin didn’t even leave his apartment before lunch. Slowly, he lowers his fingers to type. Jongin’s head feels heavy, his thoughts numb and for some reason he’s disappointed.

Marlowe578: did you see his face? wow, 99 [10:17 PM]

99problemsBUTaSni…: Your enthusiasm astounds me. LOL no, I didn’t see his face. Just, you know – *the feeling* I think I’ll stake out the place tomorrow. See if he shows up [10:18 PM]

Marlowe578: you should do that [ 10:19 PM]

Jongin looks suddenly away from his screen. As he stares out the window he wonders why he’s feeling so upset by this. He hasn’t been upset by something in a long time and besides, he also encountered his soulmate today. Jongin also passed his soulmate and should feel excited by this. He should want to tell 99 all it, instead of worrying about the fact that 99 might very soon be leaving him.

Jongin turns back to his screen.

Marlowe578: 99, I’m tired. I’m going to sleep but we’ll talk tomorrow, ok? [10:21 PM]

99problemsBUTaSni…: Oh. Yeah, sorry! Sleep well [10:22 PM]

99problemsBUTaSni…: Marlowe, wait [10:23 PM]

*Marlowe578 has exited the chat room* [10:23 PM]

99problemsBUTaSni…: Marlowe…. what if you aren’t sure you want to meet your soulmate? [10:23 PM]

When Jongin wakes, he doesn’t let himself to think about his conversation with 99. Instead he showers, repeating his daily routine and quietly redirecting his thoughts every time they stray to 99. Today she’ll find her soulmate. Today she’ll leave him and Jongin will be alone. He might as well get used to that fact.

Around lunchtime, Jongin decides to walk towards the deli. If he’s going to be alone for the rest of his life, he might as well be alone with someone else. The thought makes him wince. This is depressing. His soulmate is a soulmate for a reason. They’re meant for him, he’s meant for them. The thought makes his stomach sink though, worry growing heavier with each step.

When Jongin enters the deli, he pulls the rim of his baseball cap lower. Staring at the other customers while trying to appear as though he’s not. He orders an iced coffee, taking a seat towards the back and watching people enter from the street. Nothing happens though, no pulse racing or no tingle and eventually Jongin opens his laptop.

The words of the café surround him as Jongin starts to relax.

“So, I told her that he was crazy. Four weeks is way too long to change a pillowcase.”

“No, love. You can’t eat solids, only liquids until Thursday.”

“When I get home, okay? We can talk about this when I get home.”

He’s on page 254 of his book, halfway through chapter 25 when he hears the bell ding.

Heat blazes up his neck.

Jongin looks up, startled to make eye contact with the loveliest pair of eyes he’s ever seen. Slowly, the door falls shut behind you. The heat from his neck wraps his body, burning Jongin from the inside out. This isn’t just a tingle. His sister was wrong – this is a blaze, an inferno, a moment that swallows him whole.

You appear similarly entranced, staring at him with such sincerity that for a moment, Jongin doesn’t know where to look. That’s when the door opens behind you, smacking you upside the head and making you stumble. Jongin shoots upwards, forgetting his laptop entirely as he rushes across the room.

He comes to a stop before you, one hand on your elbow to steady you. The blaze has faded to a dull heat, pulsing through his body as you take a step closer. “Hi,” Jongin breathes, staring at you.

“Hi,” you say.

Jongin smiles. Your voice is warm, full of laughter and he can’t help but grin. “I’m Jongin,” he says.

“Y/N,” you respond, glancing over his shoulder. “Are you in the habit of leaving your expensive electronics out in the open?”

Jongin nearly laughs, raising an eyebrow instead. “Not usually, no.” He turns towards his table, looking back over his shoulder to see you follow. “I, uh.” He glances down at the floor. “I don’t know what to say.”

“Me either,” you confess, taking a seat before him. “Jongin,” you repeat, nodding once. “I like it. You know it’s odd,” you say as you survey his face. His deep, brown eyes. Sharp jaw and cheekbones. Soft, full lips. “I felt it yesterday when you passed me.”

Jongin’s lips lift. “I felt it too,” he murmurs, oddly shy for some reason.

“I didn’t want to meet you,” you add, watching his eyes widen.

“Oh?” Jongin seems surprised by this. “Why not?”

“I was just in a relationship,” you say, picking a spot on your jeans. “My boyfriend broke up with me two days ago. He said we weren’t soulmates and were wasting each others’ time. There’s also, well.” Here you pause, flushing when you look downwards. “There’s this guy. We’ve been talking online for about a year, discussing vampires and whatnot and I really thought I wanted to meet him.”

Jongin can’t move.

The room fades to black, then back into view around him. He scans you slowly, taking in your voice, noting your mannerisms. He looks at you again, seeing the Harry Potter keychain dangling from your wallet. It’s shaped like a snitch. Heart beating strangely fast, Jongin wonders if this is a moment of brilliance or insanity.

It can’t be you.

Slowly, he leans forward. “Did you… happen to get coffee yesterday afternoon?” he asks, your brow crinkling in confusion.

“I – uh, yes?”

Taking off his hat, Jongin sets this on the table beside him. He feels as though he’s going to be sick, feels delirious because – oh, you’re smiling again. “I just want to say,” he says, his voice low. “That boyfriend of yours is an idiot.”

Across from him in your tiny red chair, you stop moving.

Gaze lifting from your lap to his face while your expression shifts from confusion to something else entirely. “I,” you start to say, then stop. Your hand drifts to your mouth as you stare across the table. “He’s actually very intelligent,” you whisper.

Jongin’s smile widens, reaching to take your hand in his. Where he touches, there’s light. Sparks, fire - zip, zap, zop.

“99?” he asks softly.

Nodding, you lower your other hand to his. “Marlowe?”

“Jongin.”

kWritersNet May Prompt Event (soulmates!AU) + [3,000 Followers Drabble Game Master List]

#kWritersNet #kwriters bless up #noonanet #kai scenarios #kai soulmates!au #jongin scenarios #jongin soulmates!au #kai fantasy #kai fanfiction #kai one shot #jongin one shot #jongin fantasy #jongin fic #jongin fanfiction #q: jongin tag

[leapingtitan]

Re:CREATORS Original Soundtrack — Review

Yeah, I’m doing this. I started this like 2 weeks ago but didn’t have that much time to listen through the whole thing. Regardless, I have heard every song that Sawano has made for this series and I plan to watch the anime sometime in summer.

Now, to make clear what exactly I will be sharing my opinions on, I have listened to both discs of the OST, the Rearrange CD and the gravityWall/shØut album for Re:CREATORS.

The way I’ll do this is, I will post the notes I took when I listened to each of the songs for the first time and give my overall rating (1-10) at the end. Also, if you haven’t heard the OST but want to experience it fresh, this post may be full of music spoilers (NOT spoilers from the anime, obviously) for you. Whatever works best for you, of course.

Let’s do this.

Disc 1

01. God of Ink

First song! Without a doubt, kicks off very strong and slowly becomes more and more epic. Glad to get a new solo mpi song. I’m afraid it’s been a while since I’ve heard one of those. 

Anyway, the instruments used are great, though it gets slightly but very subtly repetitive around the 2nd chorus. Nevertheless, I enjoyed the song but I expected it to be a little more… uplifting? 

I expect the instrumental at the end will give me a better grasp of the feel. But the lyrics are great! Probably my favorite element of the song.

Rating: 8.5/10

02. rE:CRe@T0RS

Classic Sawano. It’s not a Sawano score if one of the tracks isn’t named after the series it’s used in. Well, apart from that, once again very intense start. 

This initially gave me the vibe of a surprise battle that happens in the middle of the city. (Don’t tell me if I’m right about this by the way). 

Overall, nicely put together in terms of sections. The middle kind of dulled out on me but the beginning and end.. just right.

Rating: 9.5/10

03. Re:3$penS

Okay so. First of all.. that bass. I’m assuming with some of these songs, the way I would enjoy them more would be to see the scene in the anime. I’m looking forward to this one specifically, as it imposes a feeling of danger and mystery. 

Very nice! The drums and guitar stand out the most, but it’s honestly so good overall.

Rating: 9/10

04. 4GL4yu8RE:E

Now this is what I’m talking about. Fast-paced theme which would fit any action scene! I love it. The orchestra stands out the most but the percussion… give me. I love the overall upbeat sound of it.

Now, the second half gave me chills. That piano was amazing and the drop… man, I don’t know what to say. Amazing song.

Rating: 9.5/10

05. Hey39-udn

Well, nothing too impressive about the first half. The second part, however, is the definition of lit. I love the synth honestly.. like, very upbeat. 

This is the first song on this OST I’ve heard so far that hypes you this much. (Barricades is the last song that gave me this vibe).

Rating: 8/10

06. RE:3343

Before Listening

I’ve seen memes about this song and its name. And memes are good. Expectations are high, but let’s see if they sail high on the high winds. 

After Listening

Okay, well.. this was not what I expected lmao. It sounds like it’s on the Grenzlinie borderline of being either a “standard” track or an atmospheric/ambience track.

I like it, though! Gives off this weird feeling of hollowness but also.. hope? Not the best way to describe, it I know. But the subtle sounds in the background are very nice.

Rating: 9/10

07. HERE I AM

Am I listening to Sawano or is this vocaloid?

I’m just joking. I love this song.

Though... this sounds like it’s supposed to be an ED rather than an actual theme but considering how different it is than gravityWall, I’m just gonna guess that I’m wrong about that one. 

I can only imagine what kind of character or scene this is used in. Honestly though, it made me laugh. It’s quite cheerful and upbeat and the lyrics are gold. I’m not kidding. Actually.. screw it. This one gets the perfect rating from me. GG Sawano.

Rating: 10/10

08. 2109-a8Ru件

Yo. YO. I’m going around giving perfect ratings as if it was free… well.. that’s what it feels like at least. 

BOI. I can jam to this. 

This is nice. This is very good. 

The Daily Life from the snk soundtrack is a great chill song but this outclasses it in every way. I love the percussion and the folk-ish sound at the beginning. Honestly like this is perfect in every way. One of the best tracks so far, no doubt!

Rating: 10/10

09. AL:Lu

Before Listening

Okay, this one…. Let’s see… how should I put this. I’ve seen thoughts about this song, mainly people saying it’s the best one. I have high expectations and I’m bracing myself for a slow, sad vocal song. 

If I’m wrong then you’re probably laughing while reading this. Here we go. 

After Listening 

…Okay. Well. I. Uhm. Uhhhhhhhhh. LMAO Okay so. AHAHAHAHAHAH. GODDAMN IS THIS HYPE. 

For the record, this is the first Eliana song I’ve heard. Apparently she was in Kabaneri as well? I don’t remember, but this is is new. AND IT’S AWESOME. GODDAMN SON! 

The lyrics are amazing, the song gets you hyped and… yeah Eliana is awesome. I am definitely going back to listen to this later. 

Note while writing this post

I’ve probably listened to this song like 40 times already and I have exactly zero regrets.

Rating: 10/10

10. 高度8b6n

Wow. This song is just pure hype. The badass guitar.. and that bass. Toshino Tanabe my boi, how did I not know who you were earlier so I could praise you. 

Honestly though, this one is great in terms of pacing, speed and intensity, so to say. I imagine the scene this is used in (if it’s already been used) is memorable. So far so good! I love it!

Rating: 9.5/10

11. 8sawOGRE6

This sounds like one of those tracks made for a purposely attractive female villain. 

Oh well. I like it, but it doesn’t stand out that much. Well, the middle does. I love the drums and the “hype” but apart from that, nothing too much. Still an amazing feel, though.

Rating: 8/10

12. Layers

Before Listening 

First a song that has “OGRE” in the title and then a song named “Layers”? What? Did Sawano browse Shrek memes for 5 hours before naming these songs? Well… I hope so because that would be dank. 

Anyway, I’ve also seen this one get a lot of praise and impatience when people were waiting for it. Let’s take a look and see what we get.

After Listening

Okay this was interesting! The lyrics definitely raise some questions though I already have an idea of what the concept of the series is. It’s good! 

I haven’t heard an Aimee Blackschleger song in a long time, the last time being Release My Soul MOD and DOA. 

Some parts are pure hype while others are just headbang material. I can’t quite say which one it leans to or.. if it’s the same or not, though lol. But I like it!

Also, it’s 4:20 minutes long. Dank af boi.

Rating: 420/69 9.5/10

13. re:pianohi1tars

This, my friends, is a piano masterpiece. It gives off so many emotions at once it’s hard to keep track of it. Like, the fast pacing and the “epicness” behind it is just mind-blowing. 

It’s a balanced track that doesn’t go in too many directions but it delivers the feeling it’s trying to convey JUST right. Nice one! 

Rating: 9/10

14. ∞GodMachine

Note Before Listening

This sounds like it’s going to be an all out grand and heavy orchestra. I’ve seen SOME talks about this one, so I’m bracing myself. 

After Listening

Well. I’m not TOO impressed by the second half, but the first one is great! I love the part before the transition to the second part.. if that makes sense. 

The percussion and synth is very pleasant to listen to, though it isn’t nearly as “hype” if you may… not counting the first half. Great song overall but not too many highlights for me… but still great dontgetmewrong. 

Rating: 8.5/10

15. ABYSSwaltz

The song title is cool. Everything else… not so cool. 

Seriously, Gemie’s German pronunciations shorten my lifespan with each millisecond. The song itself doesn’t sound TOO bad but it’s not really something I can enjoy that much or.. interpret, I guess. 

The lyrics kind of work, but.. well… yeah... not really much of a highlight.

Rating: 6.5/10

16. Pf:Creators

I laughed at the last 3 seconds. This is gold. Did I mention how much I love chill songs I can just jam to? I love it, honestly. 

Kind of repetitive at parts but I can kind of visualize the scene it’s used in. Good stuff indeed.

Rating: 9/10

17. 音:9RE:eita-zu

This one was long. Or, I guess you can say… zu long. It’s nice, though! 

I am especially fond of the last minute and a half, though the rest of the orchestra throughout the track doesn’t stand out to me as much. 

It’s enjoyable to listen to but not too many highlights. The instruments used are mind-blowing, however and have all of my yes.

Rating: 9/10

18. BRAVE THE OCEAN

Yep. Eliana is definitely on her way to being my favorite female vocalist. Honestly... amazing and powerful voice which conveys a strong feeling. 

As for the song itself, I wouldn’t say it’s something I would listen to extensively. It’s upbeat and.. sounds like an ED song at the end of a cour or a really happy episode. Can’t quite put my finger on it. 

The lyrics are fine, though I guess it’s a tiny bit too upbeat for me. HERE I AM nailed that aspect though, to avoid contradicting myself.

Rating: 8.5/10

Disc 2

01. E:verydaytor1

This song has like… so many parts. I like the cheerful and uplifting tone of the last few minutes, but overall I feel like putting so many different tones in one track is a bit overkill, even for Sawano. 

Regardless, I really like the last 2 minutes but overall it’s a bit excessive and not enough highlights.

Rating: 7/10

02. Pf:CreatorsII

Before Listening

Oh, there’s a sequel to Pf:Creators. Okay. 

After Listening

Oh, it’s completely different than the first one. Lmao.

I love me some good piano. So relaxing and soothing… idk what else to say about it but it pulls your heartstrings. I imagine the scene this is used in at.

Rating: 9/10

03. E:verydaytor2

Before Listening

Uhh… okay. Sequel again? Is there some kind of pattern here that I am missing?

After Listening

Okay, I get it. I see the remaining tracks below and it seems like these are the atmospheric tracks with consecutive naming patterns… familiar and typicial of Sawano. It’s like Disc 2 of Snk S2 all over again lmao. 

Anyways I like how cheerful this is but it really didn’t stick out to me that much. It’s an average track so to say.

Rating: 7/10

04. Pf:CreatorsIII

A TRILOGY! 

Now this I can get behind! Creepy, kind of sad and kind of… foreshadowing something to happen. Hard to describe but it’s that good feeling of creepiness.

Rating: 9.5/10

05. SawElephant4

Before Listening

TFW Sawano breaks his own naming combo. YouSawBIGGELEPHA/N:T??? 

After Listening

Damn. Bury me under all of those creepy strings. I love it honesty. Near-flawless choice of instruments and composition and very interesting to listen to. 

Very fond of the entire song and not just certain sections. I can get behind this, honestly.

Rating: 9.5/10

06. Pf:CreatorsIV

Before Listening

Not a trilogy anymore... nevermind.

After Listening

Ah, here we go. The first song I’ve heard on this OST that almost made me cry. Seriously... the piano songs are always the sneaky ones. Damn ninjas cutting onions. Amazing piece.

Rating: 10/10

07. E:verydaytor3

…This song is just funny. Lmao. 

The percussion and perfectly placed sound effects are the catchiest thing I’ve heard in a long time. I want to watch the anime just to see where this is used in, to be honest.

Rating: 9.5/10

08. Pf:CreatorsV

What beautiful piano. It’s a really soothing and catching song that messes with your feelings. I love it.

It doesn’t have too many highlights for me to point out but it’s a nice song. Somewhat average but quite nice nonetheless.

Rating: 8/10

09. God-ground2SAY310

I feel like this is one of those songs where I need to listen to it multiple times to actually appreciate it enough. 

It has an interest instrument choice, but for an “atmospheric” track, I’d say it’s slightly weak. It’s not necessarily a bad song but I guess it conveys what it’s trying to convey.

Rating: 6.5/10

10. Pf:CreatorsVI

Creepy atmospheric piano track FTW.

To be completely honest, it’s average. But because of my personal enjoyment and love for creepy, slow, ominous music, I think I can dig it. A lot.

Rating: 9/10

11. E:verydaytor4

Have I mentioned how much I love upbeat folk jams? Because I do. 

This one gets it. I’m kind of curious about the second half as it sounds like it would play in the last few seconds of the series finale… not that I would know. 

Either way, this one gets the one and only perfect rating because of that first half. Amazing.

Rating: 10/10

12. DA-world2HEN90

Woah, this one was short. 

Anyway, nice soothing guitar! I love me some of that. I wish I could say more about this one to be honest but that’s really it. 

Nice guitarist you got there, Sawano.

Rating: 9/10

13. God of ink (Instrumental)

I love it. It’s a very good standalone song and works just as fine as it does without mpi’s vocals. 

Don’t get be wrong, I love both versions but with this one I can appreciate the guitar more!

Also, I’m a sucker for slides. lmao

Rating: 9/10

14. HERE I AM (Instrumental)

I’m.. not even gonna say anything.

This song just makes you happy. That’s it.

Both with and without the vocals, it’s catchy af just makes you smile and laugh. I love them both.

Rating: 10/10

15. Layers (Instrumental)

Oh... OH.

Holy fuck.

That guitar and those drums… sorry Aimee, this version is a lot better. 

I dare say this is the best song on the entire OST.. if not, I’m putting it in the same league as AL:Lu. A ridiculously good Sawano piece and one that I will definitely come back to. I didn’t expect it to be this good since I wasn’t TOO impressed with vocals for Layers (I mean I love it but it isn’t really a highlight for me) but… 

Yeah. 

This is perfection and pure badass.

Rating: 10/10

16. BRAVE THE OCEAN (Instrumental)

Aaaaand yeah. This is ALSO better than the vocals, as much as I like Eliana after AL:Lu. 

Goddamn it. This is really nice to listen to, especially after the second half when the guitar kicks in. I thought the song was slightly too upbeat for my taste but this I can get behind. Quite chilling and nice to listen to!

Rating: 10/10

Rearrange CD

01. God of ink <MODv>

Okay. I prefer this more than the original version. Those drums are lovely and so is the extra piano. I’m glad they kept the original riff, but like.. the drums. 

Too good. Out of the three versions that this song has, I still like the instrumental of the original the most, though this one is the better vocal version in my opinion.

Rating: 10/10

02. Layers <MODv>

HOLY SHIT THAT GUITAR RIFF!! CHILL SAWANO OH MY GOD I WAS NOT READY. 

Okay the strings are kind of… not sure. I like the drums. If this one had an instrumental I guess I would appreciate it more but to be honest this is great! 

Putting it on equal terms with the original as they both have their own unique things about them. This one makes heavier use of instruments but the original is more upbeat and intense. When it all comes down to, I prefer the instrumental of the original here as well, obviously.

Rating: 9.5/10

03. BRAVE THE OCEAN <MODv>

Okay, this one works a lot better. I can actually listen to the lyrics a lot easier with a lighter use of techno-ish drums. I love them a lot, especially after the first chorus. 

Overall, this is definitely better than the original BRAVE THE OCEAN and conveys a much brighter feeling, at least from my perspective.

Rating: 10/10

gravityWall/shØut

Note: For the record, this is not really a “Blind” listen because I already heard all of these songs yesterday when they came out (I couldn’t contain myself). The same goes for gravityWall, which I’ve heard a while ago, but regardless, I will share my thoughts on all of them per procedure, and one of these holds the title of Best Song.

01. gravityWall

The first OP! I have to admit, I kind of skimmed through it when the TV-Size version came out with the anime. I don’t know why. 

But when the full version came out, I listened the fuck out of it. I love it, honestly. Gemie and Tielle make an amazing combination. I could complain about Tielle’s lyric-writing skills during the English parts, but it still works, I guess. Amazing song.

Rating: 9.5/10

02. gravityWall (Instrumental)

This song works better with vocals. It’s nice to listen to, but I don’t think it’s good enough to be its own song. Like I said, Gemie and Tielle make the best combo and it worked perfectly with the vocals. But without them... eh, not really.

Rating: 7.5/10

03. shØut

Here it is. The one and only. After having listened to every single song Sawano has made for Re:CREATORS, this one takes the cake for my number 1 favorite. Only HAIRS ahead of Layers (Instrumental). and the next song you will see below. I love it.

Funny thing. Originally my favorite was AL:Lu, but I really loved gravityWall. Then again, gravityWall is an OP so it obviously needs to have a different and better sound than the soundtrack pieces.

Well, with this song, it’s not a problem. Because shØut is AL:Lu made into an OP. Like.. WHAT?! Fucking perfect. It’s so satisfying to actually acknowledge this song’s existence yet alone listen to it. Sawano delievered. Perfect. Did I mention Gemie and Tielle do the combo again? Just... No words.

Rating: 10/10

04. shØut (Instrumental)

HAHA. Even without the Tiellie Combo™ (that’s what I’m calling it now, deal with it), this sound still kicks your ass either way. 

I just feel bad putting it and its vocal version to compete, but I can listen to both depending on what mood I am in. 

Although I said shØut was my favorite, in reality I love both of these equally. None is better. I put the vocal version on there but I don’t like one more than the other. Just kill me if I need to choose one. The chorus without vocals especially is too badass for it.

Rating: 10/10

05. oldToday

From what I have gathered, this is a standalone song that is neither part of the OST, nor is it used anywhere. 

It should be. It’s.. just so beautiful. I don’t dig the beginning too much the second half is just amazing. Bury me with it because it’s so beautiful... just.. perfection. If you want to cry of happiness, this is of you.

Rating: 10/10

Results (Average Rating)

Disc 1: 8.94

Disc 2: 8.31

Rearrange CD: 9.83

gravityWall/shØut: 9.40

Final Rating: 9.12

Conclusion

Overall, I would say this OST is simply amazing. To be perfectly honest, there are only a handful of songs I would actually go back and listen to, but the ones I would are just simply amazing. Sawano definitely showed some greatness here, but I wouldn’t say this is his highlight score of any kind. There’s definitely a lot of tracks, but in my opinion, Guilty Crown, Crisis and OST have an insanely large count of memorable songs.

Maybe that’s just my opinion. Maybe it’s because I haven’t actually seen the anime and got to experience the songs the way they are supposed to be experienced. Don’t worry. I plan to watch it in summer. My knowledge of it isn’t too positive from what I’ve heard, but I do plan to give it a try, regardless of that. The music is simply amazing

Should you give it a try? Oh, absolutely. It has a wide variety of tracks which all convey different feelings. I’m sure there’s at least 2 or 3 in there that will appeal to you in one way or another. Until next time!

Overall Favorite Track:  shØut

Final Rating (Again): 9,12

#ost #soundtrack #music #re:creators #re creators #r:c #rc #non snk #hiroyuki sawano

[sunbrights]

fic: by the claw of dragon (5/7)

fandom: danganronpa characters/pairings: natsumi kuzuryuu, fuyuhiko kuzuryuu, peko pekoyama + 77th class ensemble, et al. kuzupeko. character tags will be updated on AO3 with plot-relevant characters as chapters are posted. rating: m summary: The Kuzuryuu Clan stands on the precipice of the greatest era of its history. Kuzuryuu Natsumi promises to be the strongest leader the clan has ever seen, the Overlord of the South born again. That Hopes’s Peak Academy would select her for it’s 77th class was assumed, not hoped for.

To the younger Kuzuryuu son, everything is as it’s meant to be.

Sonia knows.

Natsumi doesn’t know how, but it doesn’t matter. Probably she found out the same way Natsumi did: with good information and better sway with people equipped to act on it. Just because Natsumi’s exam wasn’t publicized doesn’t mean it was private, and there’s a small, unassuming girl in the now-senior class whose talent is the Ultimate Hacker. If it didn’t happen now, it would have eventually.

Knowing that doesn’t stop the restless churn of her stomach when she turns the corner and finds Sonia waiting for her out in the hall before morning homeroom, though. Her back is straight and her hands are folded in front of her; Natsumi recognizes the princess in her, all ice and etiquette, the same face she’d been so quick to shed before.

“Kuzuryuu-san.” Sonia doesn’t bow to greet her, not even the polite, shallow one she greets everyone with. “If you have time after class, I would like it if we could speak in private.”

There are eyes on the side of her face; Saionji openly snickers behind her hand when she and Koizumi brush past them into the classroom. Peko steps up behind her left shoulder, a looming presence made of as much cold steel as Sonia’s, but Sonia’s gaze refuses to break.

“Sure,” Natsumi says. “Whatever.” She lets her shoulder brush Sonia’s when she strolls past her into the classroom. “Not for too long, though, okay? I’m a busy woman, you know.”

“There is no need to worry,” Sonia says from behind her. “I do not anticipate to take up too much of your time.”

It’s a new room, but everyone has gravitated toward the same old configuration; the two seats up at the front where she and Sonia used to sit together are empty, just the same.

She takes her same seat, front and center. Peko slides into the desk behind her. It leaves two remaining empty desks in the classroom: Sonia’s normal one up at the front, and a second in the back next to Mitarai.

If Sonia hesitates, or even takes a second to consider her options, Natsumi doesn’t see it. She gathers her books against her chest and walks straight past her old desk to the back of the room. “Good morning, Mitarai-san,” Natsumi hears her say, with every bit of her usual morning chipperness. “Is this seat taken?”

The classroom is quiet. Saionji cranes her head from the seat on Natsumi’s other side to try and catch her eye. Mitarai stutters. “Uh, no. No, you can sit if you want.”

“Excellent!”

Natsumi keeps her eyes forward. She doesn’t realize she isn’t blinking until her eyes start to burn.

When class is over, no one lingers. Usually a handful of them will stay and blabber on until they’re nearly late for their next period, but today even Koizumi and her entourage slip out right at the bell. Yukizome makes an excuse about needing to drop by the office. Peko is the final one to leave, after Natsumi lifts one hand over her shoulder and waves her off.

Natsumi thinks about the empty gymnasium, yawning and oppressive.

Sonia waits until the door is all the way shut before she gets up. She moves back up to her old desk, and sits like she’s preparing for another class, hands folded on the desktop. She won’t look at Natsumi. She keeps her eyes trained on the smeared-but-empty blackboard.

“Thank you for taking the time to meet with me, Kuzuryuu-san,” she says. “My hope is that this can be productive for us both.”

Natsumi yawns. She has to force it. “Whatever,” she says, making sure to start the word before her yawn is all the way finished. “Just say what you came here to say. But can you at least be creative with your threats? All the standard ones get old fast, you know?”

Sonia’s mouth compresses into a thin line. “It is not that. I have no desire for retaliation against you or your clan. I have already resolved not to inform the rest of the Novoselic royal family of this incident.”

Natsumi catches herself playing with her pencil. She curls her fingers into a fist to get herself to stop; her father’s always said that her fidgeting was a tell. She weighs her words. “If you’re expecting me to say thank you for that,” she decides on, “you’re barking up the wrong tree.”

“I would never expect that from you, Kuzuryuu-san.” Natsumi didn’t know Sonia had the capacity to be sardonic. “I only wish to understand. It took a significant amount of resources for you to acquire such… information in the first place, yes?”

“So?”

“So, I can only imagine you spent those resources in order to grant an advantage to yourself in our negotiations. There was an opportunity for you to do so.” Sonia looks over at her for the first time since that morning in the hall, but it’s only a flicker. It can’t have been intentional. “Why did you not? That is my only question.”

Natsumi manages to laugh. “That’s it?”

“Yes. That is it. It is a straightforward question to answer, is it not?”

Another flicker. It’s a weak point. Natsumi seizes it with both hands.

“You’re not gonna chew me out?” she asks. “Lecture me about my life choices? Tell me about how the bonds of friendship between women are sacred?” Sonia’s hands curl into fists on the desk. Natsumi leans far enough across the gap between their desks until she has to meet her eye dead-on. “Aren’t you upset?”

“Yes of course I am upset!” Sonia says, nearly shouts, and her voice cracks under her sudden surge of volume. “I am angry, and- and humiliated, and I cannot believe that you would still act like this after all that has happened!” Her eyes are shining. She blinks rapidly and sets her jaw. “But I also know in my heart that we are friends. No matter how many times I imagine it, I cannot think of you as having malicious intent the entire time. So please—”

Her tears are threatening to spill over. She composes herself with a deep, shuddering breath, and presses the edges of her fingers beneath her eyes. “Please,” she says again. Her voice is softer and steadier. “I wish to know why.”

Sonia will never fully trust her again. That’s a fact. Even if Natsumi spills the whole story right now, falls to her knees and begs forgiveness, all it will get her is a wary truce and a humiliating rumor about how the Kuzuryuu heir does her business.

She’s done. There’s no room for her to play around anymore.

She says, “We found something better.”

Sonia’s eyes are wide. “What?”

Natsumi tilts her head. “What, did you seriously believe you were our only option?” She counts to five in her head while Sonia blinks back at her, then lets a smile spread across her face. “Sheesh, you really think highly of that backwater country of yours, huh? Okay, let me spell it out for you.” She leans forward, and draws out each syllable, laboriously slow. “We. Didn’t. Need. You.”

“But—”

“But what? I needed something for my practical exam, I had your tape on hand—” She mimics an explosion with her hands. “Done. You should be grateful I didn’t save it for later.”

“My exam time,” Sonia tries again. “It changed last minute, and I—”

“Komaeda-kun’s supposed to be lucky, isn’t he?” Natsumi shrugs. “Maybe you just got caught up in his creepy, lucky wake.”

Sonia’s mask has shattered; there are tears on her eyelashes and grooves in her forehead. Her voice is small. “Why are you being like this?”

“If you thought I was at this school for anything other than business, that’s your fault, not mine,” Natsumi says. “Can I go now?”

The silence settles, painful.

“I see,” Sonia says finally. She sniffles into her sleeve. “I believe I understand now. If this is the path you have chosen, Kuzuryuu-san, then I believe it is best for the both of us if our friendship ends here.” Her chair clatters when she stands up, and even she can’t hide the way her voice wobbles when she says, “Excuse me.”

Natsumi sits in the classroom long after it’s empty. It’s not until the bell for the start of the next period rings that she pulls herself out of the desk and out of the room.

Peko is waiting for her in the hall.

*

me 22:48 sonia knows what i did, in case you care

me 22:48 she says she won’t spill to her parents but like there’s anything actually stopping her

me 23:03 don’t ignore me this is actually important

fuyu-chan 23:05 what the fuck do you want me to do about it?

me 23:05 i don’t know, figure something out with me?

me 23:05 you know how many tanks they have, right?

fuyu-chan 23:08 she’s your friend, you deal with it

fuyu-chan 23:08 you didn’t drag me out here to help you with your social life

fuyu-chan 23:09 unless you’ve got something for the clan, don’t fucking talk to me

me 23:09 how is this not for the clan?

me 23:09 do you WANT a whole country on our asses?

me 00:02 fine

*

Peko’s phone starts to ping again after only a day or two. Natsumi thinks it must be happening more often than it used to, because she hears it all the time: during class, during lunch, in the hallway, at their lockers, in the dojo.

(“Would you prefer I stopped responding?” Peko asks once, after the buzz of her phone on the desk interrupts Natsumi’s train of thought one too many times.

“No,” she answers. Her pencil tears the edge of her physics homework, and she has to pull out another sheet. “Not like I care.”

Peko stops anyway.)

Natsumi, for her part, gets tired of looking at an endless string of her own messages in the text conversation, so she stops. He’ll come around when he’s in a better mood; he always does. She plans on giving him the same cold shoulder he’s giving her until then.

It’s Thursday. Koizumi has brought lunch with her again for her bi-weekly trek to the west building. It’s wrapped in the same fabric as the last time Natsumi paid attention to it, with the rabbit design; she can see faint stains around the bottom edges.

Saionji hangs off the edge of Koizumi’s desk, whining about how, “If I have to spend another lunch looking at Pig Barf’s stupid face I’m totally gonna have a mental breakdown!” Koizumi pats the back of her head, but she doesn’t budge on the issue.

Natsumi’s never seen Satou come to the east building; it’s always been the other way around. Sometimes Koizumi brings the lunch, sometimes she doesn’t, but she’s always the one making the walk, and she’s almost always late for class the period after. Natsumi assumed she’d get tired of it after the first few weeks, but it’s going on a year now and they haven’t missed a day.

She stares at the cutesy rabbits on the side of Koizumi’s lunchbox, and thinks she knows how to get her brother in a better mood faster. She tilts her head back. “Hey, Peko-chan.”

“Yes.”

“Go have lunch with my brother today.”

Peko doesn’t answer right away. When Natsumi twists around in her seat to look at her, she’s frowning, her brow pinched.

Natsumi drapes both arms over the back of her chair, and sets her cheek against her elbow. “What? You don’t want to?”

“I—” It isn’t often Peko gets tongue-tied. She’s so pale that it makes it easier to see where the blush stands out against her cheeks. “No, it does sound… enjoyable, but…” It takes her several seconds too long to be believable, but once she finds her excuse, she latches onto it. “It’s still the early days of the school year. Shouldn’t I be seen eating with you?”

“Oh, please. I’ll be fine for one day. These chumps should know better than to mess with me by now. And if they don’t, I can reteach them myself.” Souda glares at her from the back of the room. Natsumi wiggles her fingers at him, smile big. “You should do it! What’s stopping you, huh?”

Peko hesitates. Her eyes drop down to her desk. “I don’t think I’m someone Fuyuhiko-sama wants to see right now,” she admits, fingers curled into the desktop.

“Yeah, that’s literally never been true.” Peko still looks uncertain. Natsumi feels a thin bubble of frustration gather in her gut. “At least he’s talking to you.”

“Young mistress, I—”

The bubble bursts. “Are you saying you won’t do it?” she interrupts, sitting up.

Peko’s turn around is instantaneous. Her chin drops to her chest, her hands in her lap. “No. Of course not. If that’s what you wish, young mistress, I’ll go after class. Should I announce myself to Fuyuhiko-sama before I arrive?”

Natsumi turns back around in her seat. She eyes her phone, laying face-up on her desk. (The screen is still jagged and broken; her father had refused to have it replaced before she left for school, citing her string of other broken phones.) Last she counted, all eight of the most recent messages in her text conversation with her brother had been from her.

“No,” she decides. “It can be a surprise. And don’t tell him it was my idea, okay?”

“Yes, young mistress."

*

fuyu-chan 12:12 seriously?

me 12:16 what?

fuyu-chan 12:16 you know exactly what

fuyu-chan 12:16 this is low even for you

me 12:16 excuse me for thinking you’d want a friendly face with you at lunch

fuyu-chan 12:18 don’t give me that bullshit. what the fuck is wrong with you?

fuyu-chan 12:18 you can’t just throw her at every single problem you have

fuyu-chan 12:19 did you seriously think this was going to make me LESS pissed at you?

fuyu-chan 12:19 after all the other shit you’ve pulled?

*

“Wuh-oh. I know that face. Which is it, deadbeat or baby daddy?”

She’s in the dining hall, eating lunch by herself at her and Peko’s usual table. When she looks up from her phone, ready to fling it at whoever felt the need to butt in, there’s a freshman girl sitting on her table at the far end, her feet on the bench, slurping on the straw of a pale green shake.

She’s completely ditched the school uniform for her own outfit, all bright colors and provocative lines. There’s a cute bear pin in her hair. She smiles when Natsumi glares up at her. “Who the hell are you?”

Her name is Enoshima Junko, from the 78th class. Natsumi knows all of them; she looked them up one-by-one when their names started cropping up on the message boards. Enoshima had been the sole exception: her fashion blog is massive and critically-acclaimed, and Natsumi has been a follower since she was in middle school.

But she has a reputation to maintain, and that doesn’t include letting any freshman who feels like it sidle up to her lunch table.

Enoshima slides down to sit across from her on the bench. She wraps both hands around her shake; it must be kale, Natsumi remembers her posting about it before school started. “You don’t know me? Well, that’s okay. Because I know you, Natsumi-senpai.” She holds her straw between her teeth when she smiles. “And there’s plenty of time left for us to get acquainted.”

“There’s forty minutes left in lunch,” Natsumi tells her. “You’ve got three.”

Enoshima pretends to shake her sleeve back to check her wrist. She isn’t wearing a watch. In May she’d posted about her favorite types of accessories, and watches hadn’t even made the list. “Hmmm. I bet I can make that work. I mean, it’s not like it’s much of a story, right?” She laughs, right in Natsumi’s face. She doesn’t even bother to try to hold it in. “You’re the junior who totally screwed the pooch on her practical exam!”

Natsumi grinds both fists down into the table. She doesn’t have to take this, especially not from some air-headed freshman. She makes to stand, but Enoshima waves her down, one-handed. “Hey, hey, hey. Don’t worry about it! Those judges just didn’t get you.” She leans forward on both elbows, and her voice dips into a lower register. “But I get you.”

Natsumi sneers. She lowers herself back down to sitting. “What, some little freshman with bows on her jacket?” she says. “I don’t think so.”

Enoshima doesn’t flinch. She just keeps on talking, with that same, gravelly quality to her voice. “Sure,” she says. “I mean, it wasn’t just about the recording, right? It was about where you got it from, too. How the school had a perv on their payroll, waltzing around their precious Ultimates, and how you plucked it out from under their noses. How you could’ve taken down an entire country, because of their mistake. You could’ve just as easily used it on them as you could have on Sonia-senpai, right? Who in their right mind would want people like that watching out for the purest distillation of talent in the world? That’s what you thought was gonna guarantee you that sweet, sweet perfect score.”

Natsumi hasn’t told anyone that. Not Peko, not Fuyuhiko, no one.

“It didn’t go the way you wanted,” Enoshima goes on. Her eyes are bright. “You made one big mistake, senpai.”

Natsumi’s phone buzzes on the table. She claps her hand over top of it. The broken pieces of the screen jab into the edge of her palm.

Enoshima doesn’t look away from her face. She’s grinning when she says, “You gonna get that? It could be fate, sending you the eggplant emoji you’ve been dreaming of.”

“It’s my brother.” Natsumi doesn’t need to look.

“Ooh, even better. Talk about a scandal, am I right?”

“What do you mean?” Natsumi interrupts. “What mistake?”

“Well, isn’t it obvious?” Enoshima’s shake is almost empty. It gurgles loudly when she sucks on the straw. “You let them off too easy! You’re still assuming they respect your talent more than they want to keep you under their thumb.” She shrugs. “You threatened them, so they had to teach you a lesson.”

Natsumi means to make her lip curl, to make her uncertainty look like disdain, but it only feels like a grimace. “If they know anything about me, they know that’s a stupid move,” she says. “My family doesn’t stand for that.”

“And what do you think they’ll say if you do anything about it?” Enoshima sits up straight, and adjusts imaginary glasses on her face. Her impression of Fat Nose is unnervingly spot-on. “Hmhm, yes. It’s always disappointing to let a talented student go, but Kuzuryuu-kun was clearly not equipped to handle the rigors of our institution. This is nothing more than thinly-veiled retaliation for our panel’s assessment of her abilities. A shame that such a promising young woman would have such drastic faults of character.” She sheds the persona like a jacket flung into a corner, shoulders dropping and head lolling back dramatically. “Come on. Who d’you think the press is gonna side with on that one? Huh?”

She waits, her eyes big and expectant. She cups one hand around her ear. Natsumi glowers at her.

“Think about it. The word I’ve heard around town is that the Kuzuryuu siblings are a force to be reckoned with, you know? Hardly anybody drops your name without Fuyuhiko-kun’s right behind it.” Enoshima points the chewed straw of her shake at Natsumi’s phone. “But the scouting board, in all their cherry-picking wisdom, thinks he’s only good for the trash heap? Does that make sense to you?”

Natsumi lifts her hand. The new messages blink up at her from her phone’s lock screen.

fuyu-chan 12:22 this is between YOU and ME

fuyu-chan 12:22 or are you too much of a fucking coward to come talk to me yourself?

“Whomp,” Enoshima chirps. “Time’s up! Food for thought, Natsumi-senpai.” She slaps both hands on the table when she gets up. “And by the way,” she adds, “thanks for following! Meeting a longtime reader always touches me deep down in my special place.” She holds her hands in front of her chest, fingers curled together in a heart. “Talk to you later, bitch.”

*

Natsumi makes the walk to the west building before the end of the lunch period. There’s time enough left, and she doesn’t feel like sitting alone at that table with nothing on her tray. Her brother wants her to come talk to him, she’ll do it.

It would be easy for someone to mistake the west building for a nice one, if they’d never been inside the east building. The tuition money doesn’t go to waste, even if most of it must funnel into the main course: the interior decoration is nice, just not as classy as the main course; there are amenities, just not as many as the main course; the furniture and equipment look like they were handed down when they got too much wear in the main course.

The west building doesn’t have a dedicated dining hall the way the east building does; Natsumi can see some students eating at their desks through classroom windows, and others loitering in groups around the halls. That’s where she finds them: Peko and her brother and a kid she’s never seen before, clustered together outside the open door of one of the classrooms. Fuyuhiko leans against the wall with his arms crossed while the kid talks with both hands.

The reserve course uniform doesn’t suit him. The jacket is too boxy, and sits awkwardly on his shoulders even after it’s been tailored to fit him better. It makes him look smaller than he is, his torso drowning in dark fabric. He hates it, she can tell; he keeps fidgeting with it, plucking at the elbows and tugging on the hem.

Peko looks her way first. She steps toward her, away from Fuyuhiko’s shoulder, and that’s what tilts his head in her direction, too. Natsumi’s already braced for the worst of his anger or disgust or whatever else.

Their eyes meet, and he looks away, like he can’t even stand the sight of her.

The kid, on the other hand, is staring at her. He watches her walk up with big, nervous eyes, and he keeps looking at her even when her brother is determined to glare a hole in the door on the opposite side of the hall.

“Well?” she demands.

The kid flinches. Fuyuhiko decides to glare at the ceiling.

“What the fuck are you doing here, Natsumi?”

“Are you joking?” When he doesn’t answer, she slaps her hand on the wall next to his head. That gets him to look at her, at least. “You said I should come, dumbass!”

“Yeah, I didn’t mean right this fucking second!” Some of the other students are starting to glance their way. The kid looks uncomfortable, like he wants to bolt but isn’t sure if he can. “What the hell do you want?”

“I want to know when this stupid tantrum of yours is gonna be done.”

“Tantrum?” He stands up straight, lunges into her space. “Are you fucking serious right now? I’m—”

Students are starting to trickle out of homeroom and disperse to their afternoon classes. Natsumi spots the bright bob of Koizumi’s hair out of the corner of her eye first, but it’s Satou who stops in the doorway, hand on the frame.

Her eyes are narrow and suspicious. “I thought that was you,” she says. “Can’t you go anywhere without causing trouble, Natsumi?”

“Look who it is,” Natsumi jeers, loud enough that the students past Satou’s shoulder lift their heads. “Hey, Satou-san, how about you keep your nose in the dirt where it belongs? And out of my business?”

Koizumi elbows her way around Satou’s shoulder. “Hey! You can’t just talk to people like that. What did you even come down here for, huh?”

“Last I checked you weren’t part of this conversation either, Koizumi-san!” Natsumi snaps. “So get lost before I do it for you.”

“Fuck this,” Fuyuhiko interrupts. “I'm leaving. Some of us actually have class to go to.” His shoulder collides with hers when he shoves himself off the wall. “Later, Hinata. Bye, Peko.”

“You’re gonna have to talk to me eventually!” Natsumi shouts after him, but he’s already been swallowed by the surge of students from the other classrooms. Satou bumps into her when she passes, too, Koizumi’s hand at her elbow.

The kid is the only one left behind. He's got a deer-in-headlights look to him. “Um,” he says. “You're Kuzuryuu’s sister, right?”

Natsumi glares at him.

“Just because, you look kind of— I mean, you can tell you're related.”

She looks at Peko. “Who the hell is this guy?”

“Hinata Hajime,” Peko replies. “Fuyuhiko-sama brought him to lunch.”

“Uh. Yeah,” the kid says. He looks at Peko sideways. “I just met Pekoyama today. Your brother and I are… Friends? I guess?”

“You guess?”

“I mean.” Hinata gestures vaguely in Fuyuhiko’s wake. “We talk sometimes. I don’t know if he’d call us friends, though.”

Natsumi lifts her chin. “If you’re not sure, then he wouldn’t,” she tells him. “Remember that. Come on, Peko-chan.

“Wait,” Hinata says. “Kuzuryuu-san. I know it’s not any of my business, but—”

She rounds on him, and relishes the way he recoils, eyes big. “You’re right. It’s not any of your business. You think I give a crap what some talentless hack thinks of me?”

Hinata’s eyes narrow. It might be the first sign of a spine she’s seen from him since she showed up. “Your brother goes here,” he says. “Is he a talentless hack to you, too?”

Whatever. Slim spines crack easier.

She grabs him by the knot of his tie, and digs her nails in so that he doesn’t slip out of her grip when he jerks his head back. He swallows his yelp, and his face goes ashen; she can feel the way his pulse jumps against her knuckles. “It’s Hinata-kun, right?” He stares at her, and she drags him down to her level. “Right?” He nods. She smiles. “All right. Listen up, Hinata-kun. My brother is only stuck in this dump because Hope’s Peak is too afraid of what we’d do if they scouted the both of us. He doesn’t belong in here with trash like you, understand? And once I’m done, he won’t be. So you can be friends with him you guess as long as you want, but don’t think for one second that puts you on the same level as us.”

The bell rings for the next period. Natsumi shoves him when she lets him go, and he stumbles, hands at his collar.

“Come on, Peko-chan,” she says again, turning on her heel. “It’s time for class.”

*

me 07:53 we have to talk about this

me 08:12 i’m serious

me 08:13 do you want being here to be a complete waste of time?

me 08:13 because that’s what you’re doing right now

me 10:44 can you just talk to me like a grownup?

me 10:44 or are you just totally physically incapable?

me 13:28 i don’t know what else you want from me

me 13:28 i’m trying, okay

me 13:30 does sitting there ignoring all my messages make you feel better?

me 14:03 hey

me 14:03 hey

me 14:03 hey

me 14:22 i can’t fucking believe you sometimes

me 14:22 you’re such a fucking baby

me 15:42 WHAT

me 15:42 DO

me 15:42 YOU

me 15:42 WANT

me 15:42 FROM

me 15:42 ME

me 15:42 ???????????

me 16:35 are you going to do this all year?

me 18:19 will you please just answer me one time

me 01:57 you know what? fuck you

me 02:02 i don’t need your help anyway

*

She sends Peko back to the west building a week later, this time with a message and clear instructions to make her brother listen to every word. Natsumi spends the lunch period alone in their new homeroom, her half of Peko’s packed lunch spread out in front of her, and waits for her phone to go off.

She doesn’t have to wait long. She could probably time Peko’s trip across the courtyards just using the timestamp on her brother’s responses.

fuyu-chan 12:07 are you fucking serious?

fuyu-chan 12:07 I told you to STOP

me 12:07 what else was i supposed to do??

me 12:07 she’s the only one you bother talking to anymore

me 12:07 should i handwrite a letter and send it through your new bff hinata-kun?

fuyu-chan 12:10 for fuck’s sake

fuyu-chan 12:10 I can’t believe you’re still this fucking selfish

me 12:10 I’M the selfish one? ME??

me 12:10 you’re not even TRYING to listen

fuyu-chan 12:10 listen to what? some sob story about how this isn’t really your fault?

fuyu-chan 12:10 I’m not about to let you pull this manipulative bullshit on me

fuyu-chan 12:11 I have nothing to fucking say to you. ever

fuyu-chan 12:11 so FUCK OFF

The message blurs. It takes her a second to realize that it’s her eyes and not her phone, hot tears catching on her eyelashes. She drops the phone on the desk with a clatter and presses both hands over her face.

On the other side of the room, the open door of the classroom clicks quietly shut.

Fuck, she lost track of the days, fuck. It’s Thursday. “Get lost, Koizumi-san!” she says, too loud. “Nobody said you could come in here!” She turns her face toward the wall and scrubs her sleeve across her eyes until they burn.

Koizumi doesn’t leave. Her shoes are quiet on the classroom’s linoleum floor, but Natsumi can still hear her milling around behind her. Eventually she sits on the edge of one of the desks behind Natsumi’s shoulder and asks, “Why are you crying?”

“I said, get lost.”

Koizumi draws air between her teeth, a disdainful, judgmental sound that’s been grating on Natsumi’s nerves since they were thirteen.

“I heard about your fight with Sonia-chan,” Koizumi says. She stands up, and sets something on the desk she was sitting on. It’s her lunchbox, when Natsumi glances at it; the fabric it’s wrapped in is blue today, with a smiling cloud design on it. “She won’t tell any of us what it was about.” She waits. Natsumi doesn’t say anything. “Is Peko-chan not going to eat with you today, either?”

Natsumi presses the heels of both hands into her eyes until she sees spots. She means to sigh, annoyed, but it just comes out as a long exhale. “What do you care?”

“Don’t get the wrong idea,” Koizumi says. She unties the top of her lunch. “I don’t feel bad for you. Whatever happened, I’d bet money that you brought it on yourself.” She takes out a single homemade meat bun and sets it on a napkin next to Natsumi’s knee. “But you have to have lunch. So stop being stubborn and just eat something.”

Natsumi ignores it.

“Come on,” Koizumi says again, once the silence gets to her. Her voice is softer. “This isn’t healthy. Yukizome-sensei is worried about you, you know?” She picks the meatbun back up and holds it under Natsumi’s nose. “You’ll feel better after you eat something, Natsumi-chan.”

Before she’s even recognized what she’s doing, Natsumi has Koizumi by the wrist. The meat bun tumbles out of her hand and onto the floor with a wet, thick sound. “You want to talk about what’s gonna make me feel better, Koizumi-san?”

Koizumi draws in a quick, frightened breath. She tries to pull her hand away, but Natsumi twists her wrist to pinch her skin and drag her forward, until they’re at eye level. “‘Cause I’ll tell you,” she says. “It’s not your charity. It’s not your pity. You want to congratulate yourself for alllll your good deeds, fine, but don’t foist them off on me like I’m one of your stupid pet projects. I look out for me, understand? I don’t need shit from you.”

Natsumi lets her go. Koizumi falls away from her until she runs into one of the desks behind her; the feet screech when it drags against the floor. She has her arm cradled against her stomach, the skin around her wrist angry and red.

Koizumi stays like that, braced against the jostled desk, breathing hard. “I only wanted to be your friend,” she says eventually, her voice trembling. “Back then. You’re the one who made it like this.”

She doesn’t take the time to retie the knot on her lunch before she stumbles out the door.

*

enoshima junko 12:16 what’s up bitch!!

enoshima junko 12:16 skip physics and come shopping with me

enoshima junko 12:16 there’s a pair of stiletto boots with your name ALL over them

*

peko 13:07 Will you not be attending class this afternoon?

fuyu-chan 13:29 where the hell are you?

fuyu-chan 13:30 peko says she hasn’t seen you since lunch

fuyu-chan 13:36 seriously natsumi don’t fucking start with this

*

Enoshima takes her to a tiny boutique wedged above a bakery. There’s no sign, inside or outside, and the walls of the stairwell are white and sparse. “Hisakawa and me go waaaaay back,” she explains, hips swaying on the staircase. “Trust me, you’re gonna love everything about her.”

But once they get inside, there’s only a bored-looking receptionist with a headset behind the front desk; he shoves a small clipboard toward them without looking up. Enoshima reaches past it to set her hand against his forearm, red nails bright against his dress shirt. “I should already be on the list.”

The receptionist jerks in his seat. He doesn’t recover well, expression tight when he turns to look at them. “Enoshima-san,” he says. “Welcome back. Hisakawa-san was expecting you.” His eyes slide to Natsumi. “Who’s your friend?”

“Kuzuryuu,” Natsumi answers.

The receptionist swallows. He stands from his desk, limbs stiff. “Of course. We were expecting you as well, Kuzuryuu-san. Come with me.”

“Don’t worry about Maeda,” Enoshima chirps, while he leads them back through the various show rooms. She doesn’t lower her voice. “He’s got a stick up his butt a mile long, but he’s all right.”

“Expecting me, huh?” Natsumi says, craning her neck to get a better look at one of the racks against the wall.

Enoshima grins at her. “Sure! I told them you were coming. What’re friends for, right, senpai?”

Maeda leads them all the way to a small room at the back of the store, then hovers just outside the door. The sofas are wider than the ones out front, with fatter cushions, and there’s a semicircle of matcha cookies laid out on a plate next to a pot of still-steaming tea. The room is flanked on both sides by massive racks of clothes, all at the high knife-edge of fashion, and all very, very expensive.

Enoshima dives toward one of the racks and throws a pair of tall black boots back at her. They have gold buckles and a skinny heel, and they’re exactly in Natsumi’s size. “Put those on!” she barks. She drapes herself back across one of the sofas and plucks one of the cookies from the plate. “Maeda back there is gonna be begging for you to step on him by the time we’re through.”

“If you could keep your voices down,” Maeda says behind them.

Natsumi sits on the opposite sofa, and drops her bag on the floor beside her. “So,” she says. “Cut the crap. Why’d you bring me here?” She bends down to toe the boots on. They’re well-made, and heavy in her hands. “It wasn’t just to show me these.”

“Well, it was at least, like, thirty percent to show you those. I mean, look at them, right?” Enoshima pillows her arms behind her head. “The rest, I just figured girls like you and me should stick together, you know?”

Natsumi scoffs. “‘You and me’?” Her ankles wobble when she stands up; the heels are taller than she’s used to. “That’s a good one. You and me nothing.”

She meets Enoshima’s eye through the big full-body mirror, but she only smiles back. “Did you know Hisakawa has six other little boutiques like this in the city?” Enoshima asks. She snaps another cookie between her teeth. “And that’s just here. A designer like that has a lot of connections. And she has to do a lot to make ends meet.”

“What are you trying to say?”

“I’m not saying anything. I’m just the go-between! The introduction. I’ve got an old friend in need of a loan and a new one who might be able to help her out.” Enoshima’s eyes rake up and down her body, evaluative. “We need to get you into something else,” she decides. “Those boots in that outfit make you look like the centerfold of a bad porno mag.”

She’s right. The boots clash oddly with her school uniform; they make her look like a little kid with questionable ideas of what an adult dresses like. Natsumi steps to the rack and snaps through choices. “Well, you can keep it to yourself,” she says. “My family doesn’t need any help selling loans.”

“Maybe not,” Enoshima says. “But you need momentum, am I right? Some resources? Friends in high places?” When Natsumi looks back over her shoulder at her, she laughs. “What do you think the fashion industry is, Natsumi-senpai?”

Natsumi pulls a dress from somewhere in the middle of the rack: black, with a high neckline and an image of a dragon winding up the left side, scales in shining gold leaf. “Don’t know,” she answers. “Don’t care.”

“Well, that’s okay,” Enoshima says, her smile sharp-edged. “I’ll just talk to myself! I love this stuff, you know. In case you hadn’t heard.”

Natsumi goes into the dressing room, and Enoshima does talk to herself. She tells herself all about Hisakawa: her history, her money troubles, her track record in the underbelly of Japan’s fashion world. By the time Natsumi has the dress over her head, she has to admit: it doesn’t sound like a bad deal.

When she comes back out, Enoshima whistles and drags her in front of the full-body mirror by the elbow. Her fingers are cold when she zips the dress the rest of the way up. “I like it,” she says. “Now this is the centerfold of a good porno mag, am I right?”

Natsumi skims her hands down her hips to smooth the fabric against her skin. It’s a better look with the heels than her school uniform. It’s a better look all around. She doesn’t feel like a little girl playing dress up, the way she always did wearing the elaborate kimonos her mother bought for her. She feels like herself, but better. Powerful. Intimidating.

Enoshima lingers behind her. She smooths her hands around Natsumi’s ribcage and plucks at pleats to give them more volume. “You know what I think, senpai?” she asks, her chin on Natsumi’s shoulder. She smiles at the mirror. “I think you’re gonna revolutionize the whole genre. Those old onna-oyabun tropes are so last century. You’re gonna give it some life. Some edge.” She draws Natsumi’s hair between her fingers and twists it into a high bun, tight enough to pinch her scalp. She pierces it with a pin at just the right angle to keep it secure without making it uncomfortable. “A new sense of scary-but-sexy style.”

Natsumi tilts her chin at herself in the mirror the way her father always does at the junior members when he dismisses them.

“Ooh, chilly.” Enoshima says, cheerful. “Bingo! Looks like we have a winner!”

Natsumi feels around the hem of the dress for the price tag, but Enoshima’s fingers clasp over hers before she can read it. The tips of her nails are sharp against the back of her hand. “Hey, hey, hey,” she says. “Don’t worry about it.” She twists her wrist to rip the tag off. “Just take it! Who else is gonna be able to pull of the metallic golden dragon look anyway, huh?“

Natsumi looks back over her shoulder, but Maeda hasn’t moved. He has two fingers against the earpiece of his headset, and he’s talking rapidly to someone about the cost of purple silk. “What,” she says, already rolling her eyes, “you’re going to pay for it?”

Her hands still linger on the collar of the dress despite herself, fine fabric shifting beneath her fingers. She doesn’t want to take it off. She doesn’t want to lose the feeling she has now, like her mistakes are all behind her and the future is at her fingertips.

Enoshima snorts. “No way! Hisakawa owes me a favor for saving her last show. Think of it as a gift, from her to me to you.” She slides one arm around Natsumi’s shoulders. “To celebrate a bright new partnership.”

Natsumi wears the dress and the shoes out of the store.

*

me 14:56 i’m on my way back now

me 14:56 wait for me outside the dorm

peko 14:56 Yes, young mistress.

*

Peko’s expression is pinched and tight when Natsumi sees her next. (Outside the dorm, as promised.) She steps forward when she sees her, relief smoothing out the lines.

“Welcome back, young mistress,” she says. Natsumi doesn’t break stride. Peko takes the cue to fall into step beside her. “Is something the matter?”

“Nope,” Natsumi answers. “We’re going to get my brother.”

Peko’s steps don’t hesitate, but she does look back over her shoulder, at the retreating dorm behind them. “Fuyuhiko-sama was—” She pauses, considers, chooses her words. “Agitated, when I saw him last. I don’t know if—”

“Too bad for him!” Natsumi’s heart is beating fast. The west building is too damn far. “Come on, pick up the pace!”

Peko doesn’t argue anymore. It’s late in the day; students must have already started scattering to their different clubs, but Natsumi knows her brother’s schedule, and she knows she’ll find him when he comes out of the main building.

Once he does, they’re settling this.

There are more students than Natsumi expects lingering on the front steps of the building, but it is the reserve course. Maybe they just have less to do. One of them is Satou, sitting at the base of the steps with a handful of friends who aren't Koizumi, who Natsumi's impressed exist at all.

Satou doesn’t see her, at first. But reserve course students always murmur among themselves when a main course student shows up on the steps of the west building, so it hardly takes any time at all. One of her friends points past her shoulder, and her head turns.

In the next moment, she’s on her feet. Natsumi lets her come, arms crossed and smile lazy, but Satou doesn’t stop when she’s within shouting distance. She charges straight at her, hand grasping blindly for her shoulder, and Peko has to shove her arm between them to shake her off. Satou at least knows enough not to swing at Peko; she only jerks her arm away and retreats a few steps like a dumb, injured dog.

“Hey!” Natsumi snaps. “Hands off! What the hell is your problem?”

Satou doesn’t back down. “My problem?” she shouts. Every head in the courtyard turns towards them. “You! It’s always you! Nothing gives you the right to treat people the way you do, Natsumi. You’re disgusting. You’re the worst. I can’t believe you’d even show your face here.”

“Ohhhh.” Natsumi rolls her eyes high, with her entire head. “I get it. Is this about Koizumi-san? Did she go crying to you again? Why am I not surprised?”

“I don’t know why she even still bothers trying to help you. You’re a lost cause. I don’t think you even have a heart at all.”

Students are starting to circle around them. None of the reserve course students have the guts to interrupt, not with Peko already grasping her shinai with one hand, but they watch, drawn in like bugs to a lantern. Fuyuhiko is one of them; he’s lingering at the top of the steps, Hinata behind him. Natsumi can see him past Satou’s shoulder, watching her.

“What do you know about it, huh?” she says. “Did you know you’re one of her little projects, too?” Satou scoffs, arms crossed. “No? You only talk to her, what, twice a week? That’s right, isn’t it? That’s about how often she decides she feels like gracing you with her presence? Do you think it makes her feel better about herself, sharing her talent with you wastes of space? Does she give herself brownie points for being the guiding light in your piss poor excuse for a life?”

Satou is glaring at her, but her cheeks are red. She doesn’t say anything, and Natsumi laughs in her face. “That’s what I thought. How does it feel, knowing you’ll never amount to anything other than a leech hanging off the back of Koizumi-san’s skirt?”

“They should’ve expelled you,” Satou spits. “You’re an embarrassment to Hope’s Peak.”

The other students gasp. Some of them start to whisper. Others laugh nervously. Natsumi isn’t sure how many or how loudly; her ears are ringing and her skin is cold, and the smug look on Satou’s face sets off something sour in her gut.

“Hey!” Her brother lunges to the front of the gathered crowd, elbow in the ribcage of some tittering girl, and Hinata has to catch him at the chest before he breaks the line. “The fuck did you just say to my sister, bitch?”

“Kuzuryuu— Hang on, calm down—”

“Don’t fucking tell me to calm down when this bitch is over here running her goddamn mouth—”

Satou keeps talking. She’s always been taller and broader than Natsumi; when Satou presses into her space, she looms. “You’re not talented. You’re a bully. That’s the only reason you’re still around. Watase-sensei and the other judges knew what a fraud you were, and look how you treated them! You don’t deserve to be in the main course with Mahiru!”

Natsumi’s had enough.

She hits Satou across the face, somewhere between a slap and a punch, the edges of her knuckles colliding with Satou’s cheekbone. The impact reverberates through the courtyard; it's hard enough to send Satou to the concrete. The shot of pain up it sends up the length of Natsumi’s arm expands in her chest as a full, giddy feeling, and rises straight up to her head.

A handful of overdramatic students scream, and the rest scatter like frightened birds.

It’s Natsumi’s turn to loom. Satou is holding both hands against her face when Natsumi steps over her, and they drop when Natsumi steps on her, shoe against her collarbone. There’s a bright slash of red along her cheek where the edge of Natsumi’s nail dug too deep.

She has to keep her ankle at a precise angle to keep the sharp point of her heel from digging too deeply into Satou’s chest. Natsumi can admire it even better at this angle, where it draws a dark smear of dirt across Satou’s white blouse.

“I think we need to have a chat, Satou-san,” Natsumi says. She keeps her voice high and delicate, and keeps a smile on her face. “Since you obviously didn’t hear me the first time. Which is funny, because I thought I was pretty clear, you know?” The ring of students around them is silent. “But maybe you’re just too stupid to get it. That’s fine. I’ll say it one more time, since we’re old friends, and this time I’ll even use small words.”

She leans down until all her weight is on the ball of her right foot. She can feel the way the cartilage in Satou’s shoulder strains under the pressure.

“My business is my business. Not yours. Not Koizumi-san’s. So you don’t need to concern yourself with it, okay? I don’t want to see you. I don’t want to hear you. I don’t want to hear about you. Ever.” The setting sun is warm against her back. It dumps her shadow over Satou’s trembling face. “We’re not going to have this conversation again. Understand?”

Satou’s chest heaves. Natsumi leans over her. “Sorry, Satou-san, I really need to be sure you get it this time, you know? I said—” She drives her heel down. “—do you understand?”

Satou scrabbles at the back of Natsumi’s heel, trying to relieve the pressure. Her chin jerks, intentional or not.

Natsumi lifts her weight up. She laughs when Satou scrambles away from her, tights tearing on the dirty concrete, and puts both hands on her hips. “Good enough! Glad we could get that settled, huh?” She tilts her head back. “Peko-chan, we’re leaving.”

“Yes, young mistress.”

She looks at her brother, where he's shoved his way to the front of the mass of students, Hinata’s hand on his shoulder. He doesn’t have the same wide-eyed, dumbfounded expression as the others, but she has trouble reading the expression he does have, his mouth thin and his brow creased. “Well?” she asks.

He rolls his shoulder to shake off Hinata’s hand. He nods at her, a shallow dip of his chin, and when she walks away the two of them are behind her, Fuyuhiko at her right shoulder and Peko at her left.

#natsumi kuzuryuu #fuyuhiko kuzuryuu #peko pekoyama #kuzupeko #danganronpa #DRAGS SELF UP FROM THE VOID #two more left!! #we're getting so close!!! #if there's anyone still out there wondering if this fic has a happy ending #this chapter is for you #also apologies for any formatting weirdness #ao3 gobbled up my formatting and then pooped it out without remorse #i did my best to fix what i could #fic: by the claw of dragon #sunwrites

[girl-outta-hell]

{{ Questions for Canon Muses

{{ Found the questions here:

https://fallxnprxnce.tumblr.com/post/160809400830/questions-for-muns-of-canon-muses

1. What is the biggest headcanon deviation from the canon material that you have incorporated into the way you write your muse? Why did you come up with it? I am incredibly attached to canon, so I try not to deviate from it, as much as possible. There is one detail, which doesn't exactly deviate from canon... but I took a little detail from the comics and twisted it into something freshly agonizing. 

In the original comics, Raven's mentor and all of Azarath's spiritual leader died (of old age) when Raven was 10. Now, considering the DCAU movies, 10 looks to be just about how old Raven was when she brought Trigon to Azarath... so I kept the comic!canon that Azar died when Raven was 10, but headcanon that rather than dying of old age, she died alongside all the rest of the Azaratheans by Trigon's hands.

As for what possessed me to conclude that, I have no idea whatsoever, and can only point in the vague direction of "I Was Trying to Figure Out How Old She Was", and then it just kinda clicked.

3. What is something that was never addressed at all in the canon material that you have independently developed for your muse? Raven's methods of coping with having an abusive parent literally attached to her head? I think we'll be seeing some Conflict of That Nature in the upcoming movie, but as for the daily struggle, that’s all me. 

4. Have you made any outright changes to the canon material in order to write your muse the way you wanted (entire scenes you chose to omit, chapters you say never existed, things you assume were never said, etc.)? I say I take comic canon into consideration to fill in the gaps where the movie doesn't address canon fact... but when I say "comics", I pretty specifically mean the New Teen Titans comics, and even THEN, I intentionally and specifically don't count anything after, oh, maybe 1989?, during or after the Wildebeest / Titans Hunt storyline. Aside from being confusing and convoluted, I've just never felt compelled to address that story in anything I've ever touched. 

(Besides the over-arching and undeniably canon fact that Raven is really hard to kill in such a way that she’ll stay dead-forever. I keep that. I love that about her.)

But the absolutely WORST comic canon that I absolutely REFUSE to acknowledge as ANYTHING other than a terrible fanfic is definitely the Sons of Trigon plot from the 2008 issues of "Titans". Vast potential for phobia triggers aside, Raven was so terribly out of character, the story was poorly written, the writers ignored everything Marv Wolfman had ever written (Trigon HIMSELF said Raven was his ONLY heir! over and over and over again), mathematically it just didn't work (there's no way between that time and the time of Titans that Trigon had 6 more grown-adult kids), The NOTP was there and they laid it on out-of-characteristically thick, the fact that I put more effort and development into my own canon-compliant OC than whoever wrote those comics (who didn't seem to bother reading ANY of Raven's history with Trigon), just... so many reasons. I despise that story and will never lift anything from it as any kind of inspiration. You ever want to get me Instantly Salty, just remind me that story was published by Actually Factually DC Comics. I'm disgusted.

5. What is an aspect of your muse’s canon material or canon existence that you never had the opportunity to explore but really want to? Ah, much better! Truth be told, that's what I write fanfiction for, so most of the answers I could put here have already been penned (whether it's in a file or actually posted). Things like, what if Raven DID have a sibling? Can she fall ill from MAGICAL things? How does she cope with the guilt of everything she feels is her fault? And of course, the 80's comics dedicated an entire issue to exploring her upbringing in Azarath, so that has already been explored quite explicitly. And even on the fluffy side, JLvTT explored her actually Having Fun, which was super nice to see and warms my heart... but, you know, A Happy Raven could always use more exploring. c: Not just in "distraction" either, but comforting her? Heal The Child!! I can and I will address her grief and loss and SEE her HEALING! Not just healing other people, but HERSELF as well!!

6. What is the general opinion of your muse’s fandom about them? Do you agree with it? Eh, this particular side of the TT fandom is a lot more liberal with her emotions than I've ever seen any reason for? I mean, statistically, she does smile more in this verse than in other aspects of canon, but she still restrains her emotion and she still acts distant and aloof most of the time. She definitely cares and engages and smiles, but like.... not nearly so much, or as quickly, as people tend to write or draw. I don't even think we've ever seen her cry, solely excepting the scene where she's watching Trigon destroy Azarath. Despite all the terrible things that have happened. That says something.

7. For movie or TV muses, what is your muse’s favorite scene? Why? Can you show a screenshot? Ohogsh, well, her favorite moments are absolutely the times the Titans spend together, as a family. If it weren’t for everything that happened immediately after, the carnival scenes would’ve been among the sweetest time of her life thus far. The things I imagine being her ABSOLUTE favorite weren’t shown on screen, things like Christmas mornings and movie nights, game nights, not even necessarily moments where she was involved, but just times when they’re having a good time, relaxed and enjoying each others’ company. (Especially as an empath, those moments are wonderful.)

I also like to think she’s especially proud of Damian’s growth, but I can’t put it down to a Particular Moment...

8. For movie or TV muses, what is a scene with your muse that you hate? Why? Can you show a screenshot? (So... Suicide tw on this one. Thanks, JLD:AW.)

Seeing her in pain and struggling and suffering always pierces the most tender and sensitive parts of my heart... but that moment... that scene, the one we've only GLIMPSED, in previews no less, from Justice League Dark: Apokolips War. Where she's on her knees, and she's holding something to her throat... and she pulls back... and she's legitimately genuinely right on the precipice of committing suicide? That has shaken me more than any self-deprecation or guilt or ostracization or loneliness from her ever had before. I don't "hate" it, but gods, it hurts, knowing she was right there, and ready to do that. Because you only actually DO that when you're so destroyed and hopeless and agonized and empty that there isn't any room for hope or recovery in your mind, and it just.... It struck a personal chord in me, let's just say that. ;; I only have Guesses about why she's so ready, but every single one of them just HURTS so MUCH. Whatever it was, it hurt HER so much! Gods. I'm trembling. I just... well I hate that she was so broken, she felt like that was the answer.

(okay.... tw over.)

9. For movie or TV muses, what other character played by your muse’s actor/actress has a lot in common with your muse? I'm not enough of a TV person to know what else Taissa Farmiga has been in, unfortunately. I know she's done some work in the horror genre, but that's it.

10. For book muses, what is your muse’s favorite scene? Why? Can you provide a short excerpt? 11. For book muses, what is a scene with your muse that you hate? Why? Can you provide a short excerpt? 12. For book muses, what other character from a book or book series has a lot in common with your muse?

13. What canon character do you really wish your muse could interact more with? Within canon, or within RPs? Because within canon, I'm looking forward to seeing how she interacts with John Constantine. So much. And, I won't lie, I'm desperately curious to see if/how she has any further reactions with Clark, after that devastating life-saving moment we saw in the previews... 

~ As far as RPs though, more interaction with the other Titans would be great. Warm-and-fuzzies and camaraderie. Though, as an OC creator, I'd also love to give more love to other OCs?~ I love learning about All-New Characters! I love exploring Raven's interactions with someone she's never met before; someone I know nothing about! And as a writer, I love giving others the opportunity to explore and develop their characters. c: It's a bit of a broad stroke, but it's no less true.

14. What is your ideal AU for your muse? I actually... don't do AUs? I mentioned my fondness for canon, but, heh, this 'verse already feels like a bit of an AU to me! (I've spent nearly 2/3 of my life loving on the '03 cartoon and the 80's comics, so this DCAU-verse Raven was a whole new constellation of my favorite traits! Plus some younger, softer, vulnerable traits that I also love, and entirely new character dynamics with the new team. Even a whole new sHIP???) Anyways, I guess my point is, this already IS my ideal AU for Raven~

15. What plots/interactions leave you feeling protective of your muse? Bold of you to assume I'm not ALWAYS feeling protective of her. But anything that hits a vulnerable spot for her, particularly in the spots I can relate to her on... (Which are a lot of them, honestly, but some hurt more than others.) I called her "my little soul-sister" today, and I meant that with every fiber of my being. So seeing her hurt? Protective Mode: Auto-Engaged!

#{ {{ Rae mun * ooc * announcements }} } #questions list

[stackingalfred-blog]

Develop a Business Properly in 10 Steps

So you wish to come up with a company, huh? Well, you are just in luck. This report can help you if you're planning to begin new or have a present company that you'd love to enlarge. This is a step-by-step guide about the best way best to begin, enhance, and expand your company when reducing loss on your character. If you're starting fresh, please read this article carefully in the very start. For all those, who have a present business and would love to enhance or enlarge, the latter portion of the report will be more helpful.

 Every company starts having an idea. You'll discover that through the guide, I've highlighted the psychological elements of individuals instead of physical or monetary aspects. Telephone me but the brain is where everything happens. I've experienced and seen it and time. If your mind is completely committed, there's literally nothing which you can't do. Let us start.

 Measure 01: Discover Your Fire

 To Begin a company, you want to learn what it is that you're genuinely passionate about. The solution is straightforward. You truly don't need to have yourself stuck right into a type of work which you despise. There is loads of executing and planning involved in a brand-new company and if you're enthusiastic about it, they wouldn't feel like work at all than some sort of company that you don't care for. Why don't you select a company which will make you happy when doing this?

 "If your holiday becomes your vocation, you've succeeded in existence".

 Measure 02: How To Sell It

 Now You have found your passion, let's figure out how to use it in order to bill individuals that are in need of the type of support you are able to supply. Although yours is the most absurd enthusiasm, believe me, there are huge numbers of individuals who'd be pleased to get your services. That also does not mean that if your fire is something ordinary or normal, you should not take action. Even if it's something common, in the event that you truly love it, then you may always find ways to do things differently than others and this it is the winner.

 Let us say That You're Passionate about automobiles. You're more likely to be successful in an automobile store, auto parts store, or even a fix and alteration store. Sure, there are lots of those on the market, but if you like it, then it's going to be just one of some kind. Perhaps your store has a pleasant waiting area where your clients may have a chair and a free drink whenever they come to drop off or pick up a vehicle, or you might have free decals complementary to getting their fractures repaired. As soon as you're at the company, you will discover that out.

 Compose Down your special thoughts and prepare a demonstration. Just take a while to get it done. You shouldn't rush this part. If a new thought comes when you're in the center of the preparation stage, don't be afraid to modify. Edit and change till you're totally happy and you are able to observe a definite mental picture of your enterprise. I can't emphasize how important this really is. You've got to be totally clear and sure. If there are components which are fuzzy, leave for a little while, do something different, and then return to the table again whenever your head is clear. You'll see later how we'll reuse this measure over and over again.

 A thing to consider here Is that I'm not discussing the"Hows". Now, you do not believe how you'll initiate the company. That will come after. Your attention at this stage is that the"Whats". If you get started considering this"Hows", you may mess up your plan as you will begin to consider matters like"How can I get the funds","How am I likely to discover an perfect location" etc..

 Measure 04: Picture Your Success

 Now That you've experienced the crystal clear image of your enterprise, imagine how it would feel and look when it's completely operational and effective. This is another significant point. Why-you ask? There'll be obstacles in your way to achievement. Here is the image that is going to keep you going. You, the leader, should have that image of achievement useful at all times.

 Measure 05: The Wants

 You're clear about what your company will be and you've got a crystal clear image of succeeding.

 Recruitment: In case your Company is neighborhood like an automobile mechanic, you'll require a distance, an office, a storage space, and a few furniture. If your organization is virtual, you'll require a site or other pc based software. Whatever the situation, you have the crystal clear image (Measure 03), which means that you may produce a list of infrastructural needs.

Is a type of company you may do completely by yourself, and then you are it. Otherwise, you're likely to require assistance. Utilize Measure 03, and discover how a lot of people you'll need and what their qualifications and jobs ought to be. You could also check one of your friends, acquaintances and relatives who may possess those qualifications and will be delighted to aid you at the start. Possessing a fantastic friend or spouse at this stage is quite beneficial. In case you've got a buddy who shares the exact same vision as you, you've hit the jackpot. Things are a whole lot easier with a fantastic friend beside.

 Uncomfortable for a whole lot of individuals. Because of this, a great deal of excellent ideas never sees the light of this day. Many will give up in this business since they think there's not any cash. If you are feeling that, please bear in mind that the financial sector was built on good ideas. It's their purpose to make investments. How else would you believe that the Empire State Building has been constructed? 1 man did not put all his cash into it. The thought was great and has been only backed by numerous financial institutions. The truth is that there are various banks, lending companies, and investors that are searching for a fantastic idea to put money into.

 But ideally you personally, as The person who owns the company, must have half of the first capital you want. If you're now at work, you should begin saving up. If you currently have the cash, start simultaneously.

 I've mentioned in the Start of the post how important the psychological elements of the folks are. I'd love to elaborate on this a bit more since fund is a massive issue. Stress is the only true enemy . This is the just 1 thing which you need to conquer, and you need to confront it no matter what. I will aid you with a couple of strategies about how to perform it, however you must walk this route.

 First Of all, it's fine to be frightened. It's part of that we are. Just keep in mind that “Courage isn't the lack of fear. It's having anxiety and doing the thing you're afraid of". To put it differently, FACE IT. After all, “In the conclusion of our own lives, we just regret things we have not achieved or opportunities we have not taken". Most of us die, and it's much better to die fast doing something we enjoy than live a very long dull life doing things which are secure and comfy. Listed below are a Couple of Kinds of fear That You Might have and how to conquer them:

Yes, you'll be rejected. Not a great deal of people would know exactly what it is you're attempting to do, and therefore don't take it , and continue to another. I know I'd. I'd invest my money if I saw someone who was really enthusiastic about a job although I didn't know the company. Why? Since he wouldn't give up with this before effective, therefore it pays to get your Measure 01.

 of loss. In the end, it's a new company and you don't know all of the pits and drops. Trust in yourself that in the event that you make a mistake and have a reduction, you'll also understand how to escape it. It's your thought, and you understand best. Loss will happen as it occurs, and you'll understand what to do then- no need to fret now.

 Yes, there are individuals who'd always have something to say particularly when you're having difficulty. You'll be ridiculed and laughed. But would not that be sweeter if you encounter victorious? How can you win if you haven't ever been defeated? Prepare to spend the humiliation and defeat, utilize Measure 04 through nowadays, and come back a winner. People today recall a fanatic - not an ordinary individual.

 I expect the hints on anxiety would help you conquer it. Now you have discovered the funding provider/s, there's 1 thing that you ought to think about. Locate an investor who's ready to await the company to correctly operate, which can be 6 to 8 months. There are banks or financing agencies which will loan you the money but might want their pursuits or return of investment (ROI) nearly instantly. That can be short sighted. A smart investor knows that when the company is not entirely operational and he begins to maintain his money, neither will the company triumph nor can he get his cash. Therefore, choose a person who will wait. This way, the company is secure and the investor receives his entire ROI.

 Locate your location, find your employees, and do it. Use your spouse as an ideal hand man and split jobs. An individual can get a place and purchase the furniture and another may do the hiring. Employ the highest quality people that you can. Remember that the very first sets of workers are going to become your core group, and you have to be comfortable working together. Recall Step 03, which means you will learn just how a lot of people that you want and what qualifications they need to have.

 Measure 07: Workers

 Make sure everybody knows clearly what they're doing. Produce a reasonable employment policy in which good jobs are well rewarded. Additionally, be certain employees which aren't up to the occupation are given training and chances until you let them move. It sometimes helps you to set one great worker with another poor one in order the lousy one can find out from the great. This makes workers deal with your company as though it's their own.

 Economy when you've created your business, you need to reach as many clients as you can. You may request an expert photographer to shoot photos of your centre, and also ask a graphic designer to make brochures.

 Online presence can be important. Produce a fantastic site. It's not difficult today, but if you've got the means, give it into a IT professional. See whether you're able to make an program for smartphones to the services that you provide. Provide discounts and promotions on your own brochures and website.

 Regularly meet your heart Staff to talk about how to enhance services or reach customers. Take an open mind, take each of their suggestions and select those which best fit you, and implement.

 Expand your own small business. You have one company model today, so all you've got to do is copy and paste, and thus don't deny an opportunity to expand. When it's a local company which serves only the regional clients, start another branch or get started franchising it into other towns. Now, funding shouldn't be a issue. Lots of investors and financers will happily provide you the cash. When it's a web business, enlarge your SEO or Client Support group, and the entire world is going to become your market.

 Last But not least, make balance in whatever that you do. The lesson balance is enormous, but I'll talk about it briefly.

 Don't Work really hard for you to lose your loved ones, friends or well being. After all, money isn't any good if you cannot talk about it with people that you love, or when you need to invest the majority of your money at the hospitals. Additionally, no great idea can come from you if you're overworked and exhausted all of the times. If you are feeling trapped, get away for a little while and return later. You'll come across a solution.

The lesson on equilibrium also informs us that you ought to be careful once you're succeeding and individual when you're failing. Whenever you're succeeding, don't spend money unnecessarily on matters that you do not require. In addition, once you're failing, don't quit because victory is right round the corner.

 Workers. You're their leader. If you're just too hard on these, they'll quit or worse undermine the small business. If you're just too soft, they'll play more than just work.

 In the conclusion, all companies are about individuals. From the workers to your own investors to your Clients, equilibrium all relationships. Share and revel in your success.

#business #business improvements #marketing

[douchebagbrainwaves]

STARTUPS AND QUICKER

But my instincts tell me you don't have to worry, because this whole phenomenon of VCs doing angel investments is so new. And while there might be some businesses that it would be hard to find a better focus group than hackers, because they come closest of any group I know to embodying it. It is by poking about inside current technology that hackers get ideas for the next generation of business computer. At first we tried to conceal it. Are there walkable neighborhoods?1 The optimal ways to make more, smaller investments faster. 6 months of runway. Are there walkable neighborhoods? As long as it has the right sort of wrongness, that's a promising sign. It would be ironic if, as hackers fear, recent measures intended to protect national security and intellectual property turned out to be a very promising startup indeed to get a good job, is a language that makes source code ugly is maddening to an exacting programmer, as clay full of lumps would be to include working unsubscribe links in their mails. I work best in chunks of no more than 12. If you turned it over, it said Inside Macintosh.

And some of the problems we were trying to solve were endlessly difficult. Almost every form of publishing has been organized as if the medium was what they were selling, why has the price of books or music or movies always depended mostly on the format? I wish its advantages were better understood. Or is it, rather, nonexistent?2 So if auto-retrieving spam filters would make the email system rebound. It would be a pretty cheap experiment, as civil expenditures go. So an angel round turn cold the process at least degrades gracefully, instead of the right companies. As long as it has the right sort of wrongness, that's a higher rate of return than a VC could ever hope to get from a company that took 6 years to go public, you won't be able to make the case to everyone for doing it. Don't expect it to be perfect. We thought Airbnb was a bad idea. The first thing to understand is that encouraging startups is a different problem from encouraging startups in a particular city, you have to worry, because this whole phenomenon of VCs doing angel investments is so new.3

The only explanation is that they're telling the truth: there are just not enough great programmers to go around. Founders usually have a lot of work to learn a new programming language. At its best programming is the same. For example, I suspect people in Hollywood are simply mystified by hackers' attitudes toward copyrights. Others thought YC had some special insight about the future of most current media. If free copies of your content are available online, then you're competing with publishing's form of distribution, and that's just as bad as being a publisher.4 In retrospect that seems ridiculous, and we don't realize how lucky we are that it is a congenial atmosphere for the right sort of wrongness, that's a promising sign. But before we hired a PR firm I had no idea where articles in the mainstream media was. Though we initially did this out of self-indulgence, it turned out to be the thing-that-doesn't-scale that defines your company. No matter how thoroughly you've read it, not written it. The super-angels is good news for founders. Let's consider what it would feel like to have x-ray vision for character.5

Are there walkable neighborhoods? Why does this sound familiar? And of course you can't safely redesign something other people are working on. So let me tell you what Jessica has achieved. The company has, say, 6 months before they're out of business? When we cook one up we're not always 100% sure which kind it is.6 They'll all lose their jobs eventually, along with all the time they expended on this doomed company.

So they claim it's because they want to. Technology gives the best programmers huge leverage. To get the same rate of return, the VC would have to get a multiple of 10 6—one million x. Lewis's industry contacts also include the creative director of GQ. It's not merely true that organizations dislike the idea of depending on individual genius, it's a tautology. Jessica Livingston, Robert Morris, Peter Norvig, Lisa Randall, Emmett Shear, Sergei Tsarev, and Stephen Wolfram for reading drafts of this essay. Like the remarks of an outspoken old grandmother, the sayings of the founding fathers have embarrassed generations of their less confident successors.7 So while you'll probably survive, the problem now becomes to survive with the least damage and distraction.

Really they ought to be out there digging up stories for themselves. If you want to sell early. So if it seems too good to be true to think you could grow a local silicon valley by giving startups $15-20k each like Y Combinator, that's because it is.8 Distractions are bad for many types of work, but especially bad for programming, because programmers tend to operate at the limit of the detail they can handle. Because the self-reinforcing, like a prophet, that there would soon be a computer with half a MIPS of processing power that would fit under an airline seat and cost so little that we could save enough to buy one from a summer job. At the mention of ugly source code, people will of course think of Perl. The first is probably the future of technology. The trends we've been seeing are probably not YC-specific. Or to put it more brutally, 6 months before they're out of business. To the extent the movie business can avoid becoming publishers, they may avoid publishing's problems. Or, to put it more nicely, overworked.

A round they often don't.9 Otherwise you're probably just postponing the problem, and that it therefore mattered far more which startups you picked than how much you spend.10 What about iTunes? In fact many of the current super-angels. They'll all lose their jobs eventually, along with all the time. People still pay for those. There used to be a spam url, so submitting every http request in every email would work fine nearly all the widely used languages uses Python for most of his projects. The super-angels were initially angels of the classic type.

But show them a lock and their first thought is how to pick it. After all, you're not doing those 15 people might not even be the ones who do it well. An angel round is not only quicker, but you get feedback as it progresses. There is such a thing is to treat individuals as interchangeable parts. The Men's Wearhouse. On average it would take to get new ones to move there. We thought Airbnb was a bad idea. But often it requires practically an act of rebellion against the organizations that employ them. The earlier you pick startups, the more completely a project can mutate.

Notes

It's also one of them. But I don't think you need to import is broader, ranging from 50 to 6,000 legitimate emails.

6/03 Nielsen study quoted on Google's site. But in most competitive sports, the term copyright colony was first used by Myles Peterson. Ironically, one could aspire to the biggest company of all.

It's hard for us, they very often come back; Apple can change them instantly if they seem to have kids soon. For example, the 2005 summer founders, like play in a place where few succeed is hardly free.

The kind of kludge you need to. They're still deciding, which merchants used to those. A round, no one else involved knows French.

They might not have to rely on cold calls and introductions. What should you do.

Most don't try to go away is investors requiring them.

For a long time. The nationalistic idea is the lost revenue. There is always 15 weeks behind the scenes role in IPOs, which amounts to the code you write for your protection.

As Clinton himself discovered to his surprise when, in the world, but less than the type of mail, I can't predict which these will be inversely proportional to the founders want to get going, and—e. They did try to make programs easy to imagine that there were some good ideas in the U.

It's not quite as harmless as we think we're so useless that in New York, and don't want to keep them from leaving to start a startup. Then you'll either get the money so burdensome, that all metaphysics between Aristotle and 1783 had been campaigning for the same in the evolution of the USSR offers a vivid illustration of that. That's why there's a continuum here.

They have no trouble getting hired by these companies when you had a strange feeling of being back in high school to be an inverse correlation between launch magnitude and success. You'd think they'd have taken one of few they had to work with founders create a portal for x.

#automatically generated text #Markov chains #Paul Graham #Python #Patrick Mooney #http #quicker #degrades #firm

[symbianosgames]

Steven Peeler has been developing RPGs as Soldak Entertainment for 13 years now. From his first title Depths of Peril up to last year's Zombasite, you always know you're playing a Soldak game right away. He manages to cram a great deal of depth and innovation into a compact file size.

We talked to him about his design philosophy and the things that have changed for indie developers over the years.

What's your approach to game design? All of your games are quite similar except for one or two prominent features, such as different settings, the zombie parasite in Zombasite, or a more goal-oriented approach in Din's Curse. Are you starting with specific features in mind that would make the new title stand out, or is it just a matter of experimentation and iteration until you have found something you're happy with?

My design approach is actually a combination of those two things. First, I come up with a few key ideas that makes the game unique from other games in the industry and our own previous games. These are basically the ideas that everything else builds on. Then I write up a relatively short design document. This document fleshes out the key ideas a bit more, adds a lot of smaller details and ideas, and basically is my overall direction for the game.

This essentially becomes my initial todo list for the project. The rest of the project is like you said experimenting and iteration where I'm implementing items from my todo list, play testing, adding new ideas from my play testing, adding ideas from the rest of the team and external testers, removing items from the list that no longer fits or are no longer feasible, and then repeating these last few steps until I'm happy with the game.

  Your games feature a dynamic world where things are happening even without any player input and non-player characters are, in fact, treated like actual characters with their own motivations. You have explored this quite a bit already, but do you think this can be further expanded upon, leading to even more emergent gameplay? 

I definitely think we still have room to expand on the dynamic world ideas. In every game of ours, that had a dynamic world, we have added new possible outcomes, given entities in the world more tools to work with, and made it more clear the cause and effect of things that happen. I don't see this changing anytime soon.

How would the perfect Soldak game play?

I think in the perfect Soldak game you would be constantly surprised by what could happen or a specific sequence of events even after playing hundreds of hours.

Has one of your games ever surprised you?

Oh, sure. Usually it is something like I'll rescue an NPC while distracted by something else and they will betray me by setting up an ambush. Things like that will momentarily surprise me. Of course, I know what is possible, so it's not a complete surprise.

However, every once in a while there is some interaction of the different systems that makes something happen that leaves me completely baffled. Like right now you can launch projectiles at your NPCs in Zombasite and they will usually move out of the way of the projectile. I have my suspicions, but I'm not quite sure why they do that.

One aspect of your games that is constantly being criticized is their graphics. Do you feel that they hold your games back in terms of commercial success, or are there enough customers more interested in mechanics than in eye candy?

I'm sure we would sell more copies of our games if they had better graphics. However, I'm not sure Soldak would survive spending a lot more money. It's basically a gamble that could make the company much more successful or bankrupt us.

There are many gamers out there that care more about gameplay than eye candy. It has been a struggle over the years getting their attention though.

Speaking of struggling: you've been selling your games directly from your website for quite some time. How do your games on Steam and other portals fare in comparison? Is it still possible to be a successful indie developer that way, or do you think that you'll eventually need to change your approach due to the changing landscape of digital distribution?

Where we sell our games has definitely changed over the years. In our first few years, nearly half of our sales were direct, we managed to get a few small retail publishing deals, and Steam was pretty big, but not huge. Now days, Steam has gobbled up a huge chunk of the digital game distribution market including a lot of our direct sales.

Except for Kivi's Underworld we've always managed to get our games on Steam, so while there has been a large shift of where our sales come from, it hasn't really changed much. If we ever fail to get a game on Steam or Steam decides to abuse their market position, we will have more trouble than we would have in the past though.

How hard has it been to get press coverage? I know you're still doing your own PR, and with the flood of press releases we get each day, I can imagine that this is increasingly difficult.

It has definitely gotten a lot harder to get press coverage the last few years for small indies. There are just so many games coming out, it's difficult to cut through the noise especially if you are like me and would much rather focus on actually making games instead of marketing.

I noticed that there have been quite a few Youtube channels that covered Zombasite. Is this the future of game coverage?

I'm not sure I would call YouTube channels the future of game coverage, but they are certainly becoming an important part. The most annoying part of this is that every time we release something, we get tons of emails from people pretending to be some big YouTuber, but they are just someone scamming developers for free keys. It's usually not hard, but it's a pain to wade through these for legitimate YouTubers...

How would you rank your own games? Which ones do you consider successful in terms of your own personal development experience, which ones were harder to make?

I pretty much always think the latest game is our best. Kivi's Underworld was the only exception to that (I think Depths of Peril was better). I think with all of our games we have successfully created something that is quite unique in the marketplace. Our games might not sell a ton of units or compete graphically with some games, but there really aren't any other games quite like ours.

Most of our games were harder than the others in some manner. With Depths of Peril, I built the entire engine from scratch (this is before Unreal & Unity were options). With Din's Curse, I put in a lot of work and experimenting into expanding the dynamic world aspects so that the world evolves based on what the player does and what the other entities in the world do.

With Drox Operative, we created our first and only space based action RPG. It was quite a bit of work to figure out what would still work and what new things we needed to do to fit that setting. And finally our latest game, Zombasite, is our most ambitious game to date and contains systems from all of our previous games and a few new systems. Getting everything to work together was a big challenge.

What's next for Soldak? I reckon you're working on your next title already?

We are now working on 2 different projects at once since they overlap a bit. The first is going to be an expansion for Zombasite. I can't say a whole lot yet, but there is about to be a large uprising in the Zombasite world. Will it be for good or bad?

The other project is going to be a separate game that is focused around the ideas of hardcore characters with random skills and traits, the next generation of character is evolved from his/her parents, and each world has a random setup and win conditions.

#IFTTT #Blogger

[symbianosgames]

Steven Peeler has been developing RPGs as Soldak Entertainment for 13 years now. From his first title Depths of Peril up to last year's Zombasite, you always know you're playing a Soldak game right away. He manages to cram a great deal of depth and innovation into a compact file size.

We talked to him about his design philosophy and the things that have changed for indie developers over the years.

What's your approach to game design? All of your games are quite similar except for one or two prominent features, such as different settings, the zombie parasite in Zombasite, or a more goal-oriented approach in Din's Curse. Are you starting with specific features in mind that would make the new title stand out, or is it just a matter of experimentation and iteration until you have found something you're happy with?

My design approach is actually a combination of those two things. First, I come up with a few key ideas that makes the game unique from other games in the industry and our own previous games. These are basically the ideas that everything else builds on. Then I write up a relatively short design document. This document fleshes out the key ideas a bit more, adds a lot of smaller details and ideas, and basically is my overall direction for the game.

This essentially becomes my initial todo list for the project. The rest of the project is like you said experimenting and iteration where I'm implementing items from my todo list, play testing, adding new ideas from my play testing, adding ideas from the rest of the team and external testers, removing items from the list that no longer fits or are no longer feasible, and then repeating these last few steps until I'm happy with the game.

  Your games feature a dynamic world where things are happening even without any player input and non-player characters are, in fact, treated like actual characters with their own motivations. You have explored this quite a bit already, but do you think this can be further expanded upon, leading to even more emergent gameplay? 

I definitely think we still have room to expand on the dynamic world ideas. In every game of ours, that had a dynamic world, we have added new possible outcomes, given entities in the world more tools to work with, and made it more clear the cause and effect of things that happen. I don't see this changing anytime soon.

How would the perfect Soldak game play?

I think in the perfect Soldak game you would be constantly surprised by what could happen or a specific sequence of events even after playing hundreds of hours.

Has one of your games ever surprised you?

Oh, sure. Usually it is something like I'll rescue an NPC while distracted by something else and they will betray me by setting up an ambush. Things like that will momentarily surprise me. Of course, I know what is possible, so it's not a complete surprise.

However, every once in a while there is some interaction of the different systems that makes something happen that leaves me completely baffled. Like right now you can launch projectiles at your NPCs in Zombasite and they will usually move out of the way of the projectile. I have my suspicions, but I'm not quite sure why they do that.

One aspect of your games that is constantly being criticized is their graphics. Do you feel that they hold your games back in terms of commercial success, or are there enough customers more interested in mechanics than in eye candy?

I'm sure we would sell more copies of our games if they had better graphics. However, I'm not sure Soldak would survive spending a lot more money. It's basically a gamble that could make the company much more successful or bankrupt us.

There are many gamers out there that care more about gameplay than eye candy. It has been a struggle over the years getting their attention though.

Speaking of struggling: you've been selling your games directly from your website for quite some time. How do your games on Steam and other portals fare in comparison? Is it still possible to be a successful indie developer that way, or do you think that you'll eventually need to change your approach due to the changing landscape of digital distribution?

Where we sell our games has definitely changed over the years. In our first few years, nearly half of our sales were direct, we managed to get a few small retail publishing deals, and Steam was pretty big, but not huge. Now days, Steam has gobbled up a huge chunk of the digital game distribution market including a lot of our direct sales.

Except for Kivi's Underworld we've always managed to get our games on Steam, so while there has been a large shift of where our sales come from, it hasn't really changed much. If we ever fail to get a game on Steam or Steam decides to abuse their market position, we will have more trouble than we would have in the past though.

How hard has it been to get press coverage? I know you're still doing your own PR, and with the flood of press releases we get each day, I can imagine that this is increasingly difficult.

It has definitely gotten a lot harder to get press coverage the last few years for small indies. There are just so many games coming out, it's difficult to cut through the noise especially if you are like me and would much rather focus on actually making games instead of marketing.

I noticed that there have been quite a few Youtube channels that covered Zombasite. Is this the future of game coverage?

I'm not sure I would call YouTube channels the future of game coverage, but they are certainly becoming an important part. The most annoying part of this is that every time we release something, we get tons of emails from people pretending to be some big YouTuber, but they are just someone scamming developers for free keys. It's usually not hard, but it's a pain to wade through these for legitimate YouTubers...

How would you rank your own games? Which ones do you consider successful in terms of your own personal development experience, which ones were harder to make?

I pretty much always think the latest game is our best. Kivi's Underworld was the only exception to that (I think Depths of Peril was better). I think with all of our games we have successfully created something that is quite unique in the marketplace. Our games might not sell a ton of units or compete graphically with some games, but there really aren't any other games quite like ours.

Most of our games were harder than the others in some manner. With Depths of Peril, I built the entire engine from scratch (this is before Unreal & Unity were options). With Din's Curse, I put in a lot of work and experimenting into expanding the dynamic world aspects so that the world evolves based on what the player does and what the other entities in the world do.

With Drox Operative, we created our first and only space based action RPG. It was quite a bit of work to figure out what would still work and what new things we needed to do to fit that setting. And finally our latest game, Zombasite, is our most ambitious game to date and contains systems from all of our previous games and a few new systems. Getting everything to work together was a big challenge.

What's next for Soldak? I reckon you're working on your next title already?

We are now working on 2 different projects at once since they overlap a bit. The first is going to be an expansion for Zombasite. I can't say a whole lot yet, but there is about to be a large uprising in the Zombasite world. Will it be for good or bad?

The other project is going to be a separate game that is focused around the ideas of hardcore characters with random skills and traits, the next generation of character is evolved from his/her parents, and each world has a random setup and win conditions.

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