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vhagarlovebot · 1 year

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JUST A FRIEND TO YOU ── PART 2.

♡. ── gif credit. ; ( aemond targaryen masterlist. )

pairing: modern!aemond x fem!reader and a little bit of cregan stark x fem!reader.

summary: after you agreed to go on the date, aemond realizes what a big mistake he has made.

warnings: pining, aemond regretting all of his life decisions basically and getting what he deserves, and angsty shit bc you know i love to make you all suffer.

note: hi besties! i didn’t wanna do a part two of this one shot but since a lot of you were asking me, i heard you and here you have. and i’m already thinking about writing a part 3? or maybe a mini series? even tho i said i don’t like it. i need help!! btw if there are any mistakes i apologize, but as some of you may know english is not my first language. hope you enjoy! reblogs and likes are greatly appreciated.

read part one here.

YOU REALLY DIDN’T WANT to go on that date but, as always, you couldn’t say no to aemond.

and it turns out, you had fun.

aemond’s girlfriend —or date, or girl friend? you don’t really know— is actually nice and you hate yourself for not being able to dislike her, she’s so freaking sweet that it makes you want to throw up. and as nice as she is, her friend is also very nice and a total gentleman. and also the quarterback of the college footfall team.

cregan stark made you forget all about aemond targaryen in just a couple of minutes with him. he knows how attractive he his and also how to use his charm with girls, because he had you flustered all night. he didn’t do anything more than just smile at you, pay for the dinner and drinks and walk you back to your dorm, kissing you goodnight. on the cheek. and just a couple of minutes after leaving, your phone buzzed with a new message asking for a second date.

but as much as you enjoyed the date, once you were alone with your thoughts your mind wandered back to the last person you wanted to think about.

you knew he was on a date too, he told you it was that day. you didn’t want to know but he told you anyways because you’re his best friend, he wants to share that kind of things with you. but you wish he wouldn’t, that way your heart wouldn’t break every time he opens his mouth.

and as you thought about aemond kissing another girl, you typed your answer to cregan.

when the next day came, you didn’t feel any better.

and it only got worse the second you bumped into aemond outside the coffee shop you were supposed to meet cregan.

“there you are! i’ve been looking for you everywhere.” he says, kissing you on the forehead.

not everywhere because you were in your dorm all day and he never, not once, came looking for you. weird it wasn’t his first option.

“here i am.” you try to sound nonchalant, your lips barely curling upwards.

“aren’t you going to ask me how it went?” aemond looks excited to tell you all about his date and you feel guilty for not wanting to know at all.

“i really want to know,” what a fucking liar you are. “but i can’t right now. maybe tomorrow?” you try convince him with that smile that says ‘pleaaaaaseeeee’ but aemond, for the first time in forever, it’s not convinced. even his smile instantly disappears.

“why?”

but you don’t have time to give him an answer because the answer walks out of the shop, two coffee in each hand and a big and radiant smile that only grows the second you make eye contact. and it’s strange, because your face lights up just by seeing someone that was a total stranger less than 24 hours ago.

“i was starting to think you stood me up.” cregan says, not acknowledging aemond at all, and leans to kiss you on the cheek just to hand you one coffee. “to show you i was paying attention last night.” just by the smell you know he got your coffee order right.

aemond clear his throat and you both turn to face him. your cheeks are impossibly red and you avoid his eyes, choosing to look at your shoes instead.

“oh sorry,” cregan chuckles, and gives aemond a pat on the shoulder. “i’m going to steal her for a while, you okay with that?” you didn’t know you could be any more embarrassed, but it is possible. and you hate it.

aemond nods, looking at you one final time before turning around and walking away, leaving you with a strange and awful feeling in your heart.

but cregan soon makes you forget about almost everything. and it keeps happening for the next couple of weeks. but even him and his friends can’t make you forget about him.

you have barely seen aemond since that day in the coffee shop. you tried to call him the next day to apologize but he only texted you that now he was busy and he would give you a call when he could; but that never happened and since that day your friendship has been reduced to short and cold text messages. and it hurts. but you’re decided to not let another day pass without talking to him. or just seeing him. you miss him and you wonder if he misses you too.

but after trying to communicate with aemond all day, calling him and messaging him over and over again, you give up. he clearly doesn’t want to talk to you and as much as it hurts, it angers you too.

“i’m sure he’s just busy and will call you as soon as he can.” cregan tries to calm you as he walks by your side, his thumb brushing a strand of hair out of your face.

you only nod as an answer, looking at your phone hoping to see a text from aemond.

“hey, look at me.” he stops walking, his hands cupping your face, softly forcing you to look at him. “forget about him and enjoy the party, okay?”

it’s very sweet how he’s always making sure you are fine and listening to you talk about your best friend, not once telling you that he actually doesn’t like the guy.

you thank him by standing on your tiptoes to kiss his cheek, making him chuckle and hold your hand resuming your walk.

the first thing you notice when entering the living room are cregan’s friends drinking and chatting, but what draws your attention the most is aemond. sitting on a couch in a corner, cigarette between his lips as he looks annoyed at you two.

you fight the urge to walk to him. you miss him so much but it looks like he doesn’t miss you at all. he probably hasn’t even think about you. and that’s why you accept the drink cregan hands you, sitting by his side and trying to ignore the pair of blue eyes on you.

unbeknownst to you, aemond hasn’t stopped thinking about you since the day you accepted that date. he really thought you were going to say no and he still doesn’t know why he asked you to do it, but he regrets it so much.

but he also knows how selfish and childish he’s being.

he can't keep his eyes away from you as you laugh about something that has everyone laughing too. but he only can hear your laugh, loud and clear, and it's like a knife cutting through his chest. he wants to talk to you so badly, he has missed you like crazy, but doesn't know how to do it, what to say. he's pretty sure you're going to snap at him.

however, that doesn't stop him from following you when he sees you standing and walking away.

you're pouring some vodka in a cup when he enters the kitchen. his hands are sweating and he feels so nervous it's pathetic.

"so," he says, but you don't look at him, you just keep doing what you are doing. and that makes him even more nervous. "enjoying the party?"

there's a lot of noise, between the loud music and people talking, but the silence coming from you is louder than that.

"i was thinking," aemond says again, trying to make you talk or at least react. "maybe tomorrow we can go watch that movie you told me about."

you laugh and aemond smiles, feeling relief. but then you turn to face him and all that disappears.

"are you serious?" you ask him, but you don't give him time to answer. "that was months ago, i stopped asking you to go with me because you always had an excuse." you shake your head, looking at the liquid in your cup, not wanting to look him in the eyes; it's easier this way. "and when you did say yes, you never showed up."

it's his time to avoid your eyes, looking down embarrassed.

"i don't have time for this, aemond. you wanted me to meet new people? i'm doing exactly that, i don't know what's your problem."

"you don't have time for me." he whispers but you hear it, and your blood boils.

"it doesn't feel nice, does it?" you try not to cry in front of him but the more he stands there, looking lost and sad, the harder it is. there is something about finally giving you your place that makes you say the thing you never thought you were going to say out loud. at least not to him. "i'm in love with you, aemond, but loving you is hurting me. and i know it's my fault for never telling you and i'm not asking you to say or do anything... i just wanted you to know now that i feel things between us can never go back to the way they were."

aemond takes a step towards you, hands itching to touch you, but at the same time you take one step away from him. you know that if he touches you, the little wall you've created will come crashing down.

when you finally make eye contact, you can see the fight inside his head. you don't hate him, you hate yourself for not telling him sooner, for letting things go this far.

you smile softly at him before turning on your heels and walking back to the living room, swallowing all the tears.

cregan knows something happened the minute you sit and he doesn't hesitate to wrap his arm around your shoulder, pulling you into his side, placing a kiss to your temple.

aemond watches everything frozen in place, your words replaying in his head over and over again.

maybe he did know you were in love with him and that's why he did what he did. the real question is, is he in love with you? aemond realizes that doesn't matter anymore as he watches you and cregan together, and how comfortable you are around your new friends.

he's got a lot to blame for too.

the question now is; is he really willing to lose you?

#📮 ⌇ my works ˖⋆࿐#modern!aemond #aemond targaryen x reader #cregan stark x reader #aemond targaryen imagine #aemond targaryen scenarios #aemond targaryen angst #aemond targaryen x you #aemond x reader #cregan x reader #hotd fanfic #hotd imagine #hotd x reader

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total-drama-takes-the-squeakquel · 2 months

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jock is so good because theyre so toxic and not good for each other and she brings out the worst in him and he brings out the worst in her and they fight so much and kiss and make up and shes constantly touching his chest and pushing him around and he does the same to her and he clearly respects her and calls her maam and jo is clearly insecure about her appearance and brick can make her cute outfits and make her feel better and brick has that whole need to be dominated shit and a second after that jo shows up and bosses him around (that line was clearly alluding to her cmon now) and shes given him the most nicknames out of every other contestant and does that squat thruster thing at him (THAT WASNT EVEN A SQUAT THRUST MIND YOU. why did she do that) and then pulls him in by his hand to say "no welcome to MY team" and their faces were even closer than zokes in every interaction theyve been in and she showed genuine kindness and concern for him when she pulled him out of that grave in ep4. not to mention that music playing in the background mixed in with zooming in on their hands... at least a few ppl working on the show lowkey shipped them. cmon now. even chris acknowledges their romantic tension "mm this tension is so delish i could kiss someone!" (referring to the romance between anne maria and vito all episode) then says "maybe brick and jo wanna kiss and make up?". they totally wouldve made up if there were no cameras but theyre both pussys. she loves to tease him and get on his nerves. brick has a traditional mindset as in the sense that hes the man and has to be in charge and jo humbles the shit out of him. "never met a girl stronger than me!" god i hope she humbles him like that more often. and shes proven herself to be physically stronger than him on multiple occasions too.... jock is just such a fun dynamic bc they kind of hate each other but theyre still frenemies and jo sees him as a more worthy competitor bc unlike lightning she can actually have productive dialogue with brick, meanwhile lightning doesnt even know his ABCs. she literally joined the rats team JUST TO BE WITH BRICK AGAIN. in the intro shes seen beating a punching bag, catches cameron, and immediately disregards him just so she can run after brick and beat his ass. and she does beat his ass. in ep2 brick tries to dislocate his hip just to impress her, this man in down bad. and jos insecurities would be so bad bc she doesnt think shes desirable at all for a relationship, bc she clearly wants one. on her deathbed shes sad shes never had her first kiss. brick fell first but jo fell harder. do you see my vision. they only knew each other for 7 episodes but they made they most of it and had so much natural chemistry. bricks a gentleman and jo loves that bc she can take advantage of his good nature. she loves his chivalry and will still use it against him. brick tries to stand up for himself and fails every time. They’re both too prideful and embarrassed to admit their feelings to one another so they never do, their first kiss is in the middle of a heated argument where jo just suddenly pulls him in my the dog tags and kisses him. After that they can’t look at each other for 2 weeks and enter a weird situationship where they’re too afraid to call each other boyfriend/girlfriend and don’t adopt those official titles until 3 years later. They get married to spite one another. The only reason they’d ever have kids is to prove who would be the better parent. They make EVERYTHING and competition but to them it’s the most romantic thing imaginable. Brick is lovey dovey and jo finds it so obnoxious but she secretly likes it. She wears the pants in this relationship. Bricks need to be dominated was clearly alluding to jo and I’m tired of this fandom pretending it wasn’t. I really am. #toxicheterosexualcouple for the win.

Do you ever think about how Jo’s craziest dream was letting a guy win because she found him ‘attractive?’ Because i do. I lie awake every night in bed thinking about that. I take that as jock evidence idgaf. Jo could never find him physically attractive anyway, she finds him more cute in the way you find a German shepherd cute. She thinks him and his stupid gestures of kindness are annoying and endearing. She loves him. He loves her. She hates him. He hates her. They’ll never be able to be healthy, and they’re not supposed to work out at all, but somehow they keep running back to each other. They make each other feel emasculated. Idc if girls can’t feel emasculated, that’s the best way to describe how he makes her feel. She hates having a crush on him because it makes her feel ‘girly,’ and by her standards, weak. Brick is a gentleman, as described by her, so hed be expected to go for a girl who’s more feminine and ladylike. But you know what he does? He goes for the hot tomboy jockette who will beat him to a pulp. Brick has that “i could never hit a woman” mindset but jo pushes him over his limit and when they get into a seriously heated fight it is soooooo good. Brick knows her behaviors are not healthy and he wants to help her be a better person, but his heart says that she’s fine as is because he loves how mean she is to him. ‘Jo is like this bug; she’s always trying to get under my skin!” SHE WANTS YOU BRO. Guys are so bad at picking up signs istg. Do you ever think about how jo also sees heather as a worthy competitor? And what do brick and heather have in common… dark hair, dark eyes, a cleft chin. That’s Jo’s type. The best Jo ship is debatable, since jomaria transcends levels of holiness that jock is still struggling to reach, but bricks best ship is objectively jock. I’m tired of pretending that Brott is any good. Brick would not be Scott’s type whatsoever; Scott is into bossy ladies, he wants to be bossed around and told what to do. Brick had his ‘need to be dominated.’ Too conflicting. Tired of pretending that Scott would be the ‘dominant’ one in any relationship ever but ill have to stop myself before this turns into a Scott mischaracterization rant. Do you ever think about how jo managed to convince brick to give up the cadet code for a few seconds? The cadet code; bricks life. He lives by that shit, and jo is the only person who’s managed to convince him to abandon it. Do you understand how significant that is? How much is shows how brick respects her? He is willing to abandon his morality just because jo told him too. That sure is something. Do you ever think about how in ep7, Brick voted Lightning at the elimination ceremony instead of jo? Jo receives her marshmallow first, indicating that brick must’ve voted for lightning since jo received none. And brick had even more reason to vote off jo. Brick was on much better terms with lightning. I bet you brick didn’t even vote for jo in ep4 either. Look at how often jo touches his chest. Jo, you do not need to be doing all that. In ep2, after their morning run sequence, she places her hand on his chest as she speaks to him. Brick is busy GAWKING at that hand. He sure is starting at that. She wants you bro, stop being oblivious. Back to when brick dislocated his hip just to impress her— jo seemed impressed for a moment when he told her about his boot camp stuff! Until he dislocated his hip and arm. She made fun of him for that. She thinks his dorkiness is endearing.

Need everyone to stop sleeping on their dynamic bc they were the best part of s4 idgaf anymore. Brick and jo for the win and I’m entirely convinced that if ROTI got a s2 they would’ve gotten together I’m not even kidding.

#total drama #long post #jo td #brick td #jock td

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artheresy · 9 months

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I have like very very specific feelings about Blade and Dan Heng’s dynamic/complicated situation and of course by extension the situation that occurred between Dan Feng and Yingxing and it’s like super particular, not in the way I think I’m objectively correct or fully indulging in fanon but a secret third thing. And the worst part is that I quite literally cannot for the life of me verbalize/write down my feelings and viewpoint to the full extent

They are just so complicated and full of so many tropes I love and it oof, it hurts very deeply. I like just reread the Passerby of Wandering Cloud relic set and I’m hmmm

I will say something as best as I can, I will never stop thinking about “Pairs of objects are destined for an eventual reunion.” In general that whole relic set wrecks me emotionally on a scale that I haven’t had since I read Stormbringer from BSD. They have such a complicated dynamic and I enjoy it so deeply, and see the thing is that they have such contradictory feelings that I don’t know the direction Hoyo will take it in but I am strapped in for the ride either way.

Also theres something like this fixation certain people have on separating the two and fixating on how they’re on their own paths AWAY from each other and I just,, I can’t understand that fixation because first off, even without talking about past selves, just talking about the current selves, the connection between them is extremely important when it comes to characterizing either of them. That is a significant part of their characters and where they currently are and a refusal to acknowledge that even without any shipper goggles confuses me. Additionally, as I brought up before, “Pairs of objects are destined for an eventual reunion” even as Blade and Dan Heng rather than Yingxing and Dan Feng, their paths are destined to cross. Given the earliness of the Xianzhou arc, heavily doubt this is any kind of “eventual reunion” as said by the relic seeing as its not like this is the first time they’ve met and those weren’t the this spoken of reunion. And additionally, I can’t help but think about Dan Heng specifically whether with knowing intent or not, carries multiple tokens of his past from the bracer itself to the jade pendant to literally Cloud Piercer. The weapon that makes him feel safe and yet he also has unfinished business with the creator

Speaking of that line, I’ve seen some people who think that he knows Blade made it. I personally heavily think he doesn’t know, given word choice to how he feels about it etc. But hmm I wonder if we’ll see what happens there. And that voiceline is just yet another thing hammering home how these two are destined to continue to have their paths intertwined.

And I’m trying to find the post again but I saw someone talking I think about the translations of the relic lore for that set and referring to the whole Pairs of objects line and they talked I think about how that statement is not meant to merely represent the actual objects but more so to represent Dan Heng and Blade themselves which may have been obvious from the start, but after reading that I felt like someone had expanded my mind and I can’t stop thinking about it, I can’t

Anyways anyways, I don’t think these two are by any means solely characterized by each other and they shouldn’t solely be seen as only existing in proximity to the other, but I don’t get people who for some reason hate the idea of them being connected in any manner bc of hating ships that they outright disregard and deny like key important parts of their canon. I mean people will do what they do and there’s no reason trying to put logic behind every single thing or whatever, but maybe that’s also just because I feel insane about their lore and again have this specific idea and view of them in my head. Maybe I’ll be able to put it into words better one day

Everything I ranted about arent even the full extent of my feelings about this particular topic regarding them. I just feel so specifically that I don’t know how to put it in words. If only sounds alone could convey my thoughts

Theres so much more I could rant about, so much more I could say but its like 4 am and I cant properly formulate thoughts without tangents starting in the middle of them

#they make me sick #i hate them #and yknow what #its the stuff i went over in this post why I will never be solely liking fengxing/xingyue #the connection between current blade and dan heng is just as interesting and heartbreaking to me as that gay shit yingxing and dan feng had #anyways imma try to sleep #im so tired #blade honkai #hsr blade #honkai star rail #hsr #dan heng #renheng #hengren

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blueluneacy · 6 months

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its time for my yearly post, real

ive been thinkin about dottore genshin impact lately. hes so silly :) did more of a horror aspect bc i like horror??? idk if youve been around long enough youll notice my slow descent into more horror based writings. but its ok, i like it!

on one hand you might be able to consider this yandere. on the other i think this is just how il dottore is in my mind. just a little creep. i wonder if hes single

tw: manipulation, blackmail, implied human experimentation

You were nothing to him.

In some way or another, you knew that. You knew that you were lowly in comparison to him. You were a student, barely half way into a thesis while he was well… It’s hard to define what he was. An outcast, but a genius. Something out of your grasp, intangible and arcane. Maybe that’s what originally got you interested. You’re a student after all, driven by curiosity and a need for knowledge. Perhaps he liked that about you too.

It was also that which was forbidden that intrigued you. That which you had seen scholars go mad for, he held in the palm of his hand. Things that you knew that were forbidden were always so delicious, weren’t they? You indulged in them, in what he could give you. It’s not as thought you didn’t give what you could in return, but really, what could you give a man whose power rivaled the gods? You should’ve known better. Your tutors, your peers, everyone could’ve warned you, did warn you, but you chose not to listen.

After all, he did tell you that this version of himself was the most selfish.

Perhaps then it wasn’t strange that you never saw what happened next coming. When he told you that it was time to leave Sumeru, you were shocked, almost baffled at the proposal.

“I can’t just leave everything. I’m still working on my thesis, my friends are here, I still have things to do here.” You told him, as if your words would do you any good. He merely smiled at you, shaking his head as if your points were silly, meaningless.

“I think you’ll find your research coming to a halt very soon regardless of if you leave or not. It seems that some restructuring will begin to take place here very shortly. It would be best if you were to leave, while you still had your dignity intact.” He always made himself sound so… Reasonable. It was something you once admired about him, but now, it was grating on your nerves. How easily he tossed aside your concerns. Had he always done that, trivialized the words you were saying like this?

“I can’t just give it all up. I’d hate myself if I did that. You should already know, that’s not the type of person I am. This is my life’s work.” You told him, immediately turning your back to him. He only gave you a small chuckle, shaking his head.

“Oh please. It was an average thesis that’s frankly, derivative and uninteresting. Not to mention your advisor is about to lose his job. You don’t really think it’s worth it just to work 10 more years on something new once the dust settles, do you?” He made broad steps to close the distance between the two of you, leaning over your shoulder. You had always known that the man was much larger than you, but it was the first time you noticed that it made you nervous. Perhaps that was the first time you acknowledged him for what he really was. Not as a friend or a lover, but as the Doctor, a powerful, dangerous man.

“Even so, I’m a student here at the Akademiya. I can’t pick up and leave just because you told me to. The answer is no.” You had to firm with him. If you weren’t, if you just went with him, you had a feeling that you would end up as nothing but a puppet, a pretty doll to look at for the rest of your life. What a shame that you hadn’t realized such a fact before it was too late.

“Is that so?” He seemed more amused than he was angry. You winced as he leaned against you from behind, draping his arms over your shoulder in a way that he perhaps meant to be affectionate but felt more imprisoning with his inhuman strength. He leaned down to whisper in your ear. You shuddered as you felt his breath against you , a pit of fear forming in your stomach that threatened to come out as a scream.

“And what are your plans as to what happens next? I’m sure that everyone would love to know how interested you’ve been with the things I’ve taught you these past few months. How interested you’ve been in that which you knew to be forbidden.” You froze at his words. Was… That his plan all along? To lure you in, and then blackmail you into never leaving? “Do you really think you could just get away with a slap on the wrist for this? Something as horrid as this, well, I doubt there would be must hesitation to sign your expulsion papers.”

“You… Why? Why are you doing this? Why me?” You could’ve help but let your questions tumble out of your mouth. You felt betrayed, but why? Shouldn’t you have always known the nature of this man? How he takes and takes, giving nothing in return. How absolutely foolish.

“Ah, look at that expression! How fascinating. I wonder, what else could I do to induce these emotions in you? Such lovely features being distorted with such despair…” He cooed, running his hand over your cheek to wipe away a tear. When did you start crying? You reached up to feel your own tears, attempting to brush the Doctor’s hand away at the same time.

“We’ll have plenty of time to look at more of your reactions once we reach home. I look forward to our continued work together once we reach Snezhnaya.” As his words reached your ears, you finally broke out of your fog, pulling away from the Doctor. You backed up a bit, but he so easily seemed to just step forward once more, not giving you any space.

“I don’t care. Even if I become an outcast, I’ll bare with it. I… I can *redeem* myself, I won’t just let you take me away to some lab in a bunker somewhere to do who knows what to me!” You shuddered as thoughts raced through your mind of what might happen. Of how he might cut you open, the fluids he could pour into your body, the *agony* he could cause for you only to stitch you back together. You knew of the consequences though. Why are you so surprised when the chickens come home to roost?

For his part, the Doctor only laughed, leaning down and grabbing you by the chin. His grip was hard, and in the back of your mind you wondered if bruises would form later. He forced you to look up at him, examining your expression with a sort of cold clinical air that you should’ve been used to with him by now.

“Oh, my dear… You act as though you ever really had a choice.”

Despite your best attempts, the dam finally broke, and you let out a scream as the horror of the man in front of you finally set in. You thrashed, squirmed, cried, begged, pleaded, did anything you could think of to try and escape this, this agonizing situation that you only had yourself to blame for.

And for his part, all the Doctor did was laugh.

#mine #writing #genshin x reader #dottore x reader #my writing #yandere x reader

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wikiangela · 5 months

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✨ 2023 writing round-up ✨

tagged by @exhuastedpigeon <3

I posted 22 fics this year (including the multi-chapter fic I started last december) and 21 of those were 911, and 20 were buddie lol the very first fic was the ending of my sambucky era (or a pause, I might go back who knows) and then buddie fully took over

idk what it was about this year, bc I've been writing buddie since march 2021, but now it's like the only thing I write haha

putting all the fics i've written this year under the cut bc it got loooong haha - clearly, march this year was big for me, so many fics haha

January

June 14th, 2025 (I've been waiting for you my whole life) Sambucky, T, 3.5k

A year after getting engaged, Sam and Bucky get married. A little oneshot that takes place after the events of my fic "sounds like an angel (he might be a demon)".

___

March

The one with groceries and bad coffee buddie, G, 1.3k

It’s fucking coffee, of all things, that finally does it. Or, Buck buys Eddie's favorite brand of coffee for his loft, and Eddie's brain short-circuits, leading to a realization.

Fine buddie, 1.6k

Eddie’s foot feels heavy on the gas pedal, while his hands grip the steering wheel tightly, to prevent them from shaking. He’s driving almost on autopilot, while trying his best to compartmentalize and focus on just getting to the hospital, trying not to think about Buck- about what’s happening in the back of the ambulance right now. Or, after the drive to the hospital after Buck's hit by lightning, Eddie loses it. Sort of 6x10 coda.

don't know what I'd do if your tomorrow never came buddie, 1.9k

He can’t help but think that this is some kind of sick joke from the universe, which he doesn’t believe but he knows Buck would. “The universe is screaming at you and you refuse to listen” is what Buck said once, it feels like a lifetime ago. He didn't believe it, then, either. And now the universe is mocking Eddie, having him have to tell their kid about Buck, just like Buck had to tell him about the shooting. Eddie doesn’t know how Buck did it, how he had the strength, because he’s on the verge of breaking down and shattering into a million little pieces. Or, Eddie goes home to tell Christopher about Buck getting hurt.

we got time (but we're only human) buddie, 1.6k

“We got time, Eds.” Buck chuckles. “Not enough.” Eddie’s voice breaks a little. Buck squeezes his hand. “We almost ran out of time, and I can’t just wait until it happens again, Buck. Besides, life is short. We’ll never really have enough time, because a lifetime with you wouldn’t be enough." Or, Buck wakes up from his coma, and Eddie, done with wasting time, confesses his feelings.

I can't love you any more (than I do now) buddie, G, 2.6k

Eddie's pretty sure he and Buck are dating and kind of living together. Neither acknowledges it, until Eddie finally does.

I don't mind a detour (as long as I still get to be yours) buddie, G, 1.4k

Buck falls asleep on Eddie's couch. Eddie has feelings about it.

___

April

me and you only equals love buddie, E, 6.6k

“What would you say,” Eddie brings one of his hands to Buck’s face, traces his jaw, feather-light, barely there touch, and hears Buck take a shaky breath, eyes wide with something like awe not leaving Eddie’s face, “if I wanted to kiss you? Just hypothetically.” OR, Eddie is horny and in love, and after the poker date, he finally kisses Buck - and things unfold from there. aka my first smut lol

you're the one I want buddie, G, 1.4k

“You know there’s only one person I’m interested in.” “And who might that be?” Buck leans back against the counter with a goofy grin, and Eddie wants to just go over there and kiss him. “Just my best friend I’m kind of hopelessly in love with.” Eddie shrugs, and enjoys seeing how Buck’s whole face gets red. OR, no one knows that Eddie and Buck are dating, Pepa tries to set Eddie up on dates, and Buck finds it amusing.

kiss it better buddie, G, 1.5k

Buck burns his tongue, Eddie makes a joke, and everything changes.

stuck with each other buddie, G, 2.5k

Buck's new fixation is buying unnecessary kitchen gadgets that end up in Eddie's kitchen, they all cook together, and Eddie can't keep his feelings in check.

I'm free in salt water (embrace the deep end, leave everything) maddie fic, 612 words

Sobbing, Maddie got up and, fully clothed, stepped into the ocean. Cold water was splattering against her, as she kept walking, fighting against the waves that tried to push her out. She was determined. It wasn’t her first attempt at killing herself, but it would be the first time she would be successful. OR, What was going through Maddie's mind as she walks into the ocean? (wrote this one when i was bored in class in college about a year before I posted this and idk if I like it tbh but it's posted haha)

___

May

I'd marry you with paper rings buddie, G, 3.4k

“If we’re not married by the time we’re, like, forty, we should just marry each other.” he chuckles, and downs the rest of his beer. And Eddie… Eddie knows it’s a joke. Obviously. It can’t be anything but. But still, it does something to him. He’s thought about it, fantasized about it, but hearing it from Buck, even jokingly… “Why wait?” his tone is also teasing. He can play it off as a joke, while still looking for Buck’s reaction, for any indication about how he feels. (...) “Let’s just do it now and get it over with.” Or, Buck makes a joke that leads to an unplanned marriage proposal.

Do I really have to tell you how he brought me back to life? buddie, G, 2.9k

Buck spends time with Eddie and Chris, and for some reason finds himself incapable of telling Natalia, which leads to some realizations.

what a mighty good man buddie, G, 3.4k

Buck loses his phone, and Eddie calls him to help him find it - but he does not expect the ringtone Buck has set for him.

___

June

me, you, our kid and a dog buddie, G, 4.7k

Buck and Chris try to convince Eddie to get a dog, while not even living together. It leads to more unexpected changes than Eddie could ever imagine.

___

July

you been looking for love (let me show you how it's done) buddie, E, 12.2k

“Are you-” he frowns, the confusion somehow winning with the urge to just lean in and kiss him so thoroughly he’ll forget about any other kiss he might’ve shared with any dates. “Are you doing all this on purpose?” “Doing what?” Eddie tilts his head, licks his lips, and – Buck’s almost a hundred percent sure – drops his gaze to Buck’s lips for a second. “Eddie.” Buck takes a deep breath, and wants so badly to kiss the smirk off of Eddie’s face. “Please.” “What for?” “You’re driving me insane.” he whispers, nails digging into his palms to prevent himself from reaching out. But Eddie’s thigh is pressed against his, and somehow his hand is on Buck’s knee now, and Eddie’s looking at him in such a way, that it makes Buck hot all over – or, hotter, his palms are sweating, actually. “And I feel like you are doing it on purpose.” or, Eddie is a tease, Buck is horny and jealous of Eddie dating, and a regular evening takes an unexpected turn.

___

August

For a holiday (and forevermore) buddie, M, 95k, 30 chapters

Eddie's sick of personal, intrusive questions about his love life whenever he visits his family, so he starts bringing Buck for the holidays as his (fake) boyfriend. He only wants to shut them up, and doesn't expect that the small crush he has on his best friend could actually turn into something more... (my baby fake dating holiday fic <3)

I could get lost in the feelings (just say that you belong to me) buddie, E, 15k

“Wait, wha- how- how do you feel about me?” Buck asks, his voice quiet and almost hesitant. “Buck, really? Isn’t it obvious? Do I have to spell it out for you?” Eddie sighs, eyes finally locking with Buck’s. “I think I’d like you to.” he whispers, eyes wide. “Just so I- just so I’m sure.” “Oh, for fuck’s sake.” Eddie mutters, and then, frustrated and sad, and angry, he takes the few steps separating him from Buck, grabs his face with both hands, and crashes their lips together. Or, Buck's going on a date, Eddie's so jealous he finally snaps and reveals his feelings, which leads to a passionate evening in Buck's kitchen. aka the possessive smut which might be one of my fave fics ever haha

___

September

baby, you drive me wild buddie, E, 10.9k

He places his left hand on Buck’s thigh now, and Buck’s smirk just grows. “Eddie, I’m driving.” he says mock-scolding, but he chuckles breathily, as Eddie shifts in his seat, angling more towards Buck, taking his right hand and very lightly moving it along Buck’s inner thigh, following the seam of his jeans, until he gets to his dick. “Pull over, then.” he hears his own hoarse voice, as his hand grips Buck’s also already hard dick, getting a gasp out of him, his left hand still on Buck’s thigh digging its fingers into the leg. He really doesn’t think he can wait until they get home. “Eddie.” Buck shakes his head slightly, eyes not leaving the road. “We’re not gonna have sex on the side of the road.” Or, Buck and Eddie have car sex on the side of the road. one of my absolute favorite fics I've written and i think my fave smut ngl haha

___

October

the next best thing buddie, E, 9k

And, look, Eddie could say that it’s all good, delete the message, and pretend it never happened. Except, the more he looks, the more turned on he gets, and his hand starts stroking his dick through the fabric, and- and his mind is clouded by arousal and jealousy, and such strong feeling of possessive want, he’s not thinking when he throws the covers away, takes a picture of his bulge, cock hard and leaking, a wet spot visible on his underwear, and sends it to Buck in response, with a text that says ‘no worries, I liked it. fuck, I want that gorgeous cock all to myself’. It’s so unlike him, he’d never even taken a nude picture before now, but- but this is Buck, who makes some sort of crazy possessive beast roar to life in his chest, and has his body screaming at him to do something, anything to get Buck’s attention on him, instead of whoever the hell was on the receiving end of the messages leading to that one. ‘HOLY SHIT’ is what he gets back, and not even two seconds later, Buck’s calling him. Or, Buck accidentally sends a nude and a spicy text to Eddie - things escalate from there.

___

November

I wanna spend my forever like that buddie, G, 8.6k

Eddie catches a cold and stubbornly denies he's sick, while a fondly exasperated Buck is trying to take care of him.

____

Writing Round-Up: Share what you wrote this year! It can be works you posted to Ao3, Wattpad, Tumblr, or anywhere else! You can share everything you wrote or just the ones your most excited about.

no pressure tags: @malewifediaz @spagheddiediaz @honestlydarkprincess @eddiebabygirldiaz @watchyourbuck @daffi-990 @loserdiaz @lover-of-mine @giddyupbuck @spotsandsocks @housewifebuck @underwater-ninja-13 @hoodie-buck @monsterrae1 @hippolotamus @disasterbuckdiaz @jamespearce9-1-1 @jeeyuns @callmenewbie @thewolvesof1998 @jesuisici33 @steadfastsaturnsrings @pirrusstuff @fortheloveofbuddie

#2023 writing round-up #writing round-up #tag games #i wrote so much at in march-april-may and then there's a decline lmao #self recs #i love most of the fics on here ngl #this year has been good when it comes to writing #clearly the lightning got to me lmao how did i write so much about it #this is so long lmao but ill never pass an opportunity to self rec sns 🙈

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ofbreathandflame · 7 months

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Do you believe racist authors deserve redemption? I love your blog and I’m interested in your opinion on this matter since you speak about racism in books.

hi anon!!! this is a great question, thanks for asking it!!!

i don't believe people deserve redemption. or that they have to 'qualify' to get better. if people want to change - its their right to change, to grow and become a better person. this is the kind of attitude i hold for authors as well.

but i think the harder part of the process comes after that. that there are consequences. some people will never forgive your racism, some people will never forgive that hurt even if you do get better, and that's....okay. its like - true change is always receptive towards criticism. it will always acknowledge the past to inform the future - and often authors (or white people in general) who want to change - just do. and they are usually understanding and introspective of the way they move in the world. bc once you see it, its very hard not to see where racism usually finds its footing. racism is learned - people are not inherently evil. but its also very baked into our foundation, so we are taught white supremacist ideologies from the moment we come out into the world.

i think the focus is oftentimes primarily put on avoiding or lessening the consequences. that an ‘I’m sorry’ will fix the wound.

racism is cruel. it has far reaching consequences - it isn't a buzzword. its fruitful to think about how racism affects its victims. how little children read literature and media and come away with the unconscious ideology that they are lesser. think abt the first racist moment in a book you read - something beloved. think about the trauma you carried when you realized the person you loved and adored and supported didn't even see you as a human being. every person of color, every black person has had that moment where they realized that a book they loved was not written for them; that they were meant to be the support, the helper, the friend, the maid, the 'perfect' girlfriend who just isn't good enough, the motivation, the body that served the vehicle for character development but never the main character. never a human being. never a fantasy.

and when you think about that - it becomes easier to see why people aren't willing to forgive how that racist author made them feel. bc we always have to carry that. we have to be the ones to unlearn hatred of ourselves. we have to carry the weight of the stereotypes, the ripples across media, the boxes we get put into.

personally - its a hard offense for me to forgive. its very hard for me to do so, because honestly my mind is always thinking about how there is there's often little motivation for some white authors to introspect bc the world is catered to them. its very hard to reflect when there's a foundation beneath you telling you there's nothing to reflect upon. so its extra work to actually make conscious change bc the world will always be content with the symbolic. people will always applaud the bare minimum. so its hard to gouge real change from just public shame. or kudos points.

in short - authors who want to change will change. authors who are empathetic and seek true change will always be vocal about it. and in those cases - i forgive. taking accountability, changing for the better and apologizing is all we can really ask. if an author doesn't do that than i have little interest in forgiving it. if an author cant say - 'oh i didn't mean that, and i recognize why that was harmful, i will do better.' then i cant take them seriously. its the bare minimum. staying silent and riding out the criticism without acknowledging what was harmful and how it was harmful means you seek none of the true change and it means im not interesting in supporting or forgiving, but alas that's just me!

#literary critique #literary criticism #racism in literature #racism #representation matters #queue092623

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highabovethecloudssomewhere · 2 years

Text

tips/resources that taught me how to Art as an Adult - a masterlist

Four years ago I decided that “I’m too old to learn how to draw” is a pointless lie I’d believed for too long and you’re never too old to learn something new. I still definitely consider myself a novice and a learner but I’m at a very happy place with my art and I’m having a ton of fun so I thought I’d pass along the tips/resources that helped me get started and kept me motivated.

I’ll get into resources under the cut, but here are personal tips I lined up for myself that helped during the early stages of frustration and wanting to give up. obviously they won’t work for everyone, but they really kept me going

fill 14 sketchbooks. if you still want to give up after that you can (I’m currently at 13 sketchbooks and could not imagine ever letting it go)

what specifically do you want to be able to draw? For me my goal has always been characters and cats. I’ve added things to it here and there, but starting out overwhelmed with how much you don’t know isn’t great. find a handful of things you really want to draw and see where it takes you.

get yourself a sketchbook fancy enough that you feel cool as heck but cheap enough that you don’t mind absolutely destroying it. Personally, I love EXCEED bullet journals. the dotted paper keeps me from being too picky but are less intrusive than lined paper. From my experience, EXCEED bullet journals takes acrylic and ink like a champ, and they’ve got nice covers that just make you “feel” cool. confidence is important!

acrylic paint and post-it notes are great ways to cover mistakes. I personally love anything that makes my sketchbooks feel “sketchbooky” so this is super fun.

it is okay to “waste”/”ruin” pages. one time I was in “I’m a failure” artblock and so I poured black coffee onto my sketchbook. (it was gonna get dumped out anyway and I was Very frustrated with my art.) then when the pages dried I just kept right along using it. taught me a lot about not being perfect. sketchbooks are about learning and love, not about perfection.

try drawing in pen. seriously, draw in pen. it’s scary as frick to not be able to go back on mistakes but that’s what the post-it acrylic-paint tip is for, and it’ll help with all sorts of stuff like lineweight and line confidence. it takes some of the stress off too because, you screw up? oh well! Try again! it encourages “try again” over “meticulously nitpick until it’s perfect” and has done wonders for me. I started out my first two sketchbooks in pencil before making the switch and I’ve never gone back.

(also sketching in highlighter and lining with pen is super fun and cool and satisfying!)

the first page doesn’t matter. I usually just use the first page of the sketchbook to write my favorite songs at the time and then do the same thing on the last page. first page jitters begone.

(starting in the middle of the sketchbook also gets rid of those jitters pretty nicely. I tried this a couple times and personally still prefer the linear front-to-back but it was fun for a while.)

picking a color theme for your sketchbook can make it feel more “sketchbooky” too. I usually go with blue or orange- blue acrylic paint, blue post-it notes, those cheap blue BIC pens, etc. I like this bc it makes the sketchbook feel like a sketchbook and is very satisfying.

And figure out why you’re doing it. I did it because I always wanted to make cool art and draw my characters, but if you’re doing it for a career then obviously the path to that looks much different. Don’t compare yourself to others. Be inspired by people who are better than you. Acknowledge where you need to grow and where you’re strongest. Lean into those strengths. Adapt to those weaknesses. Be proud of being a beginner- you won’t be one for long.

Now: some of my favorite creatives and resources!

///

CREATORS:

"Kasey Golden" Mostly traditional art, mostly watercolor, cartoonist, art challenges

"DrawingWiffWaffles" Mostly traditional art, alcohol markers & pens, semi-realism

"LavenderTowne" Digital art, art tips/tutorials, cartoonist

"ABD Illustrates" Digital art, speedpaints, semi-realism

"Proko" (or "Stan Prokopenko") Realism, anatomy tutorials, free complete "Anatomy For Artists" series- basically as hogwild as you can get learning hyper-realistic anatomy

"Ethan Becker" Digital art, ex-DreamWorks employee, tips/tutorials, "Perfect Practice"

"Sinix Design" Digital art, anatomy tips/tutorials, general tips/tutorials, realist

"Oliver's Antics" Digital and traditional art, tips/tutorials, speedpaints, semi-realistic style

“Nerdforge” Traditional art, painting, metalwork, woodwork, bookbinding, building, seriously these people do everything they’re incredible

///

FOR GESTURE DRAWING:

Line of Action Gesture drawing, figure drawing, optional timed practice sessions

AdorkaStock fantastic line of unique reference poses

///

Aaand that’s about all I’ve got! there are so many resources out there and so many amazing artists to be inspired by. just have fun with art! art is freedom. be proud to be a beginner and be excited for how you’ll grow. I hope these tips are helpful for someone out there! <3

Here’s my first digital artwork (April 2019) up against my latest (August 2022)

April 2019:

August 2022:

best of luck to you all. I believe in each and every one of you. <3 happy drawing!

#art #resources #cloud rambles #masterlist #obviously this isn't TOTALLY comprehensive #but I've been talking to a lot of friends lately who preemptively give up on art bc they're 'too old'#and I just felt like making this #i believe in all of us

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pennylanefics · 1 year

Text

The Librarian - Jake Kiszka | Chapter 4

a/n: this chapter is a bit self indulgent, i include my love and knowledge of sharks bc i mainly didn’t plan on posting it so it’s just what i had, but i like how it flowed and didn’t want to change it :)

word count: ~ 1.7k

JAKE’S POV:

As days go by, (Y/N) doesn’t come in. Granted, I don’t work the last three days of the week, but upon returning Sunday, Lily didn’t mention her, and knowing Lily, she absolutely would tell me if she was in.

This got my mind going. After the last interaction, her getting Josh’s number and wanting to help him write his short film, I wasn’t really feeling good about my feelings anymore. I still do find her cute, and after hearing that she doesn’t have a boyfriend back home, I thought I had a slight chance.

But no. Josh always has to come in and steal every girl that I like because he thinks he’s the cooler twin. And in reality, he is. He does film, he’s far more charismatic and open than me, who would rather spend a day in the library, avoiding the outside world.

That was neither here nor there, overall, Josh always does this, especially with how he knows how much I like this girl already. He has no awareness or anything for me, and I hate it. But I suck it up because life goes on.

It was a rainy Sunday afternoon, over a week has passed since I even last saw (Y/N), and it had been pretty quiet all morning. I finished putting away the books that were dropped off yesterday in the book drop, cleaned up and organized some shelves that people left the previous night, and finally retreated back to my spot behind the desk.

A little while passes and the storm grows heavier, though no thunder just yet. I am deep in a game of solitaire when the bell dings. My head shoots up and there stands (Y/N), who shakes off the rain, keeping her head down. She doesn’t have her laptop with her, so that means she won’t be working on her script.

She doesn’t acknowledge me or greet the ladies beside me as she heads straight back to the nonfiction section, disappearing into one of the back aisles. I clear my throat and try to focus on my game, but I couldn’t, knowing that she was here.

“Go,” Lily whispers, nodding her head in the direction that (Y/N) walked in. “There’s no one here, she doesn’t seem to be doing any work, go talk to her.”

“But, she could be wanting some time alone, I don’t want to bother her.”

“Bring her a hot chocolate and see what she’s up to then,” she suggests. Sighing softly, I nod and close the game of solitaire, leaving my desk. Nervously, I push my glasses further up my nose, my hands shaking slightly.

I find her sitting in the back aisle, where the oceanography books are. She hears my footsteps and looks up from the page she was scanning. Immediately, she smiles and my heart soars out of my chest.

“Hi,” she greets.

“Hi. Um, I saw you come in without your laptop. Taking a break from your script?” I ask, trying to mask my nerves.

“Oh, yeah, for a little. I didn’t have a good night last night, so I thought I’d come in today and just read up on a special interest of mine.” She shows me the cover of the book, a shark encyclopedia book, detailing every type and species of shark.

“I’m sorry to hear that last night wasn’t good. Anything interesting?” She furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. “I-I mean, in the book. F-finding anything interesting? About sharks?”

By now, my cheeks were on fire with embarrassment, but her giggle made me feel a little better, knowing that I didn’t really mean to pry into her life or anything.

“If you’d like to join me, I’d be happy to share the information that I’m finding out,” she offers. A wide smile stretches across my face before I look back to the front desk, which she notices. “Unless you have to get back to work.”

“My co-worker is the one who sent me over here, actually, so I figure I’m okay. It’s rather slow and we don’t really expect many people. I’m surprised to see you today, honestly. But I am gonna grab a couple things.”

She nods and looks back down at the book as I run off, placing an order for two hot chocolates. While the barista makes those, I grab the blanket that I keep in my locker for when it gets chilly, which today happens to be one of those days, with the rain and all.

I grab the two cups from the counter and make my way back. (Y/N) had gotten comfy with the surrounding pillows, for those that like to sit on the floor while reading. I hand her one cup and then drop to the floor beside her.

“Here,” I murmur, awkwardly holding the blanket out for her to take. She graciously takes it and covers her lap, but her next move surprises me.

She threw the cover over my lap as well, scooting right up against my side so I could see the book in her lap as well. My heart thumped in my chest, the tension rising in my body. But that soon washes away when I feel her thigh pressed against mine, the warmth radiating from her body, my mind beginning to wander…

No. I’m here to listen to her interests, not think about…that. As much as I wanted to.

“So, today, my own curiosity is leading me to study the differences between the species of hammerhead and the differences between the species of threshers.”

“How many are there of each?” I ask, leaning closer to her to look over her shoulder. On the page, there was a diagram of a hammerhead shark.

“Of the threshers, there are three. The pelagic, the big eye, and the common. Of hammerheads, there are nine.”

“Nine different kinds?” I confirm. She chuckles and nods, flipping back a couple pages.

“See, this is the great hammerhead,” she points to a similar diagram as the last one. “It’s the biggest of the species, and it can grow up to twenty feet. But the way to tell the difference is their cephalofoil."

“That’s a fun word,” I mumble, though she hears. A giggle escapes her mouth and she looks back down at the page, resting half of the book in my lap. I take a sip of my drink to distract myself from how close we are right now.

“It’s basically their heads. So you can see with the great hammerhead, they have this little notch,” my eyes follow her finger as she traces along the drawing of the shark, focusing on the head of the shark, directly in the middle of its head. “And not to mention their dorsal fins are massive.”

She was right, the drawing shows it’s very long and somewhat slender dorsal fin, very different to what you usually see or think of when you think of a shark fin.

“That’s pretty cool. So what’s the second largest hammerhead?” She flips the page eagerly and lands on another species.

“The smooth hammerhead. The main difference, and reason behind its name, is that it doesn't have any sort of notch or indentation in its cephalofoil.”

“So I’ve been lied to all my life, and the fact that smooth hammerheads are named that is because their head isn’t indented, and not because of their bodies being smooth?” I joke, causing her to laugh rather loudly, but with practically no one here, it didn’t really matter; in fact, I was starting to enjoy the sound very much.

“Yes, you have been lied to. Although there is a shark, the silky shark, that is named for its silky skin rather than the usual rough sandpaper-like skin that sharks have.”

“Oh really?” She nods and flips to the back of the book, finding the index and searching for the shark. Within seconds, she lands on the page that details the shark she mentioned.

For the next couple hours, we sit there, goofing off, going through almost every shark that was in the book, stopping to talk as she gives me facts outside of the information in the book, either from a documentary she watched or something she learned in general, or even during Shark Week.

The rain had picked up and it was now completely storming, but it really just added to the ambience of the setting. Who wouldn’t want to be in a cozy library, snuggled up under a blanket next to a cute girl, with hot chocolate, learning about sharks?

“So, what’s your favorite shark?” I ask (Y/N) when she closes the book. We had looked through pretty much all we could, so she set it aside for now.

“There’s lots of interesting ones, but I love bonnetheads. They’re so adorable and just like miniature versions of the bigger hammers. Oceanic white tips are also so fascinating to me.”

“Those are the ones that kind of look like nurse sharks, right?” I question, trying to think back to the information she just told me.

“No, that’s the whitetip reef. Oceanic whitetips are the ones that are pretty aggressive, with the downturned pectoral fins that are really round.”

“Oh yeah, now I remember. There’s just so many it’s-”

“(Y/N), there you are!” Josh’s voice appears at the end of the aisle. He walks towards us, standing right next to me. (Y/N) moves away from me rips the cover off, standing to greet my brother. “You ready to head to the diner?”

My blood turns cold and I freeze. Diner?

“Yeah.” She grabs her purse and steps over me, apologizing sweetly

“You guys are going to the diner?” I ask, trying to make it sound like I was just curious, but I desperately needed to know if it was a date or not.

“We’re gonna talk over the short film we’re working on together,” (Y/N) states, shooting me a small, sad smile.

“Oh. Well then, have fun,” I try to seem happy, but I can’t hide it anymore. They disappear and all I can hear is her laughter ringing off the walls, until the bell rings, telling me that they are no longer inside. Then, the quiet settles in, and my anxiety and insecurity raises. I try to prevent the tears that form in my eyes, but it’s no use.

Was I really going to lose this special, special girl to my brother? Because it’s truly beginning to feel like it, and I’m terrified of the day that it happens.

READER’S POV:

You and Josh enter the small yet very homey diner and quickly seat yourselves in an available booth.

“So, what’s good here?” You ask.

“You haven’t been here yet?” He wonders, looking at you in disbelief. You shake your head, feeling a little bit awkward, but he giggles, brushing off his facade. “Honestly, everything here is incredible.”

“You wanna share a plate of the loaded waffle fries?” You offer.

“Ugh yes, that’s my favorite appetizer, how’d you know?” Chuckling, you shrug and look down at the menu.

“Something we have in common I guess.”

You continue looking over every item available, Josh telling you some of his favorites, mixed with stories of times that he’s gotten those items and whatnot. Finally, when your order is placed, you stare across the table at the curly-haired man.

“So, for the scene with Edgar coming to Peter with the idea, I was thinking we could do something like panning around them, for some dramatic affect.”

“I mean, you’re the one who knows more about camera work and everything, so if you think that would be cool, we can do it.”

“Yeah, we follow Edgar down the stairs to where Peter is sitting, then he stands up, and kind of like a mob movie or action movie, circling around them gives this sense of urgency and all, even though this isn’t a life or death situation story.”

“Well, what does that add to the story? Because if we aren’t following them to Canada, because this is a short film, how is that sense of urgency there? Like, what are we rushing it for?” Josh thinks for a moment before sighing and sitting back, almost as if he’s defeated.

“Damn, you’re right,” he groans. “I personally just like making my films tense and suspenseful even in situations that don’t call for it.”

“There’s nothing wrong with that. This is just me throwing my own thoughts in with what I’ve learned. It would be a great use for a mob story, but not for this story.

The story follows three teens, just graduated from high school, planning a trip up to Canada to smuggle back some candy that isn’t sold in the United States, and sell it on the low when college starts.

“I just don’t think it’s necessary for them just sitting in a basement and going over logistics and planning and everything.”

“No, no, that absolutely makes sense. Thank you for the input, honestly.”

“Sorry to shoot down your first suggestion,” you tease. Just then, the waitress sets your plate of loaded waffle fries down, and immediately, your eyes widen.

It looked heavenly, though it did look like a pile of nachos. The fries were underneath a cheese sauce, bits of bacon, and melted shredded cheese over the top. A couple ramekens of ranch are also placed on the table, and your mouth waters.

“You get first bite,” Josh says, pushing the plate towards you. Using your fingers, you take a fry completely covered in both cheeses, dip it into the ranch, and then pop it in your mouth. Josh watches, interested in your reaction.

“Oh my god,” you moan. Josh laughs and claps a little, digging into the plate as well.

“Right?! Absolutely amazing.”

The rest of the time is spent continuing getting to know one another, with the film talk being pushed aside as you get into personal conversations.

“And so my brother Sam and I were trying to haul this fish up onto the boat and-”

“Your milkshake,” the waitress interrupts the conversation, setting a glass down in front of you. A single milkshake.

“I uh, did you order this?” You ask Josh. He shakes his head and looks over at the waitress.

“Remember how this town is small? Everyone knows everyone, and that waitress is a friend from elementary school, so she often just gives me free milkshakes whenever I come in. But, you are more than welcome to share it.”

He pushes a straw towards you and you open it, sticking it into the freezing dessert. You take the first drink and sigh.

“That is so good, oh my god. Everything here is so incredible.”

“Yeah? Well, maybe we can come back another day, no film talk, nothing. Just a day to relax, maybe after we finish filming.”

“I’d love to. I wanted to try that chicken cheesesteak thing, but I wasn’t in the mood for it today.” You take another sip from your milkshake, a little bit spilling out onto your lip. Josh smiles and reaches over the table.

“Um, you have, uh,” he mumbles, pointing to your lip. “May I?” With a confirming nod from you, he swipes his thumb across your bottom lip, ridding the droplet from your skin.

Your face turns hot upon feeling his soft thumb against your lip. He wipes his finger onto his napkin, keeping his eyes on you. Tension suddenly filled the air, and you didn’t know what to do next. Thankfully, the waitress came over and dropped the check off, so that gave Josh and excuse to look away.

“Well, that was so fun, despite not getting much talk done about the film,” you say as you walk out of the diner and back to Josh’s car.

“It really was. And I’m looking forward to going there again soon with you,” he winks. Another rush of heat creeps up your neck and floods your cheeks. He opens the passenger side door for you, allowing you to slide in easily.

When he reaches your house, you gather your purse and get ready to step out of the car, but before doing so, you turn back to Josh. Leaning over the console, you kiss his cheek as quickly and softly as ever. He freezes, his own cheeks turning a light pink.

“I’ll see you later, Josh,” you smile at him one final time before getting out and shutting the door behind you. He sits there for a few seconds, trying to come to terms with what happened.

“Hm,” he hums to himself, the grin still plastered onto his face. He finally drives away, excited for what the next couple weeks will hold.

—

taglist: @maud-gone @streamingcolors-gvf @mweasley19 @lolipopsandgumdrops @universoulindigo @byulgogii @artsygarbitch @dannyandthekiszkas @shutupdevvie @writingcold @fan-girl-97 @sunfl0wer-power @rhythm-of-space @allieisacrybaby @gardenofgreta @interstellar-shores @anythingforjtk @gretavanbitches @thecoldwind @surmonella @why-ami-on-here @milkgemini @spark-my-nature

#the librarian #jake kiszka #jake kiszka imagines #jake kiszka x reader #jake kiszka imagine #jake kiszka fanfiction #jake kiszka fanfic #greta van fleet #gvf #greta van fleet imagines #greta van fleet fanfic #gvf imagines #gvf fanfic #josh kiszka #sam kiszka #danny wagner #imagines #fanfiction #fanfic

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haleigh-sloth · 3 months

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What are your thoughts on Hazbin? Also, fav song? 👀

Favorite songs: Stayed Gone, Loser Baby, Hell is Forever

But seriously all the music slaps hard. It’s so good.

Thoughts: many

I’ll start with the smaller thoughts and leave the longest (Alastor) for last.

Vaggie is pleasantly explored. I’m surprised in a good way. I also love Charlie and feel like her strength isn’t really on full display yet lol. Exciting.

Angel Dust—my son. Husk—my son in law.

Angel Dust and Husk—I didn’t catch the vibe the first watch through but the second time? Oh they’re gonna be in love later if they aren’t already. I rarely care about ships but I LOVE this one. Good job Hazbin.

I really do like the Vees. They’re clearly antagonists and represent negative effects of social media and technology influence among other things. I mean no they aren’t likable as people, but I certainly like them as characters. I’m excited to see them more.

Everyone else is just fun. I love the found family/home vibe of the hotel. It’s so comforting to me.

Now really, my favorite is Alastor. Shocking I know.

Currently I can’t take my focus off of him. My gut told me he’s a good character to latch onto, and I feel like my gut was right.

I always want a happy ending for my blorbos and I feel like I hit the jack pot here bc he seems like a chaotic “control the game board” type of character (like Izaya, Shigure, Mephisto, etc.). But I think he’s ultimately going to be a benevolent force in the story for what the story is showing (redemption and salvation!).

I’m obsessed with his relationship to Charlie the most, but also I’m just very honed in on how his attachment to the hotel will change throughout the series.

Alastor is hard to read. He’s just a fun little guy. He seems sadistic and uncaring. Emotionless and like an overlord with pretty much no other motive besides power and freedom (regaining what he had before his fight with Vox 7 years ago is what his surface level motive seems to be).

But I cannot take my eyes off of how he’s puts a lot of effort into Charlie and what she wants.

In the pilot he says it’s for shits and giggles, and I’m sure he tells himself it is. But the way he is in the main series (meaning after the pilot) is just very questionable when you remember what he said his motive was. He does a whole lot more than someone who doesn’t actually give a shit.

Sure, it’s nothing for him to defend the hotel really. A mindless chore. But I started getting like ???? when Lucifer showed up. Lucifer clearly bothers Alastor (the frame was deliberately showing Alastor’s eye twitch when Lucifer showed up at the hotel and hugged his daughter). Then of course there was the hilarious “I’m a better dad than him” bit that made me lose my mind. Then in the second to last episode Alastor said “it’s not like you’ve ever failed to inspire before”—obviously meaning himself, has me even more like ???!!!! Something about Charlie inspires him and gets him up and moving and I just love that and want to explore it more and see what that brings for him.

The finale episode shows him starting to crack. He laughs at the thought of almost dying for his friends—the notion hilarious to him. Except he DID ALMOST DIE FOR HIS “FRIENDS”. And I think the reality of that freaks him out. I don’t think he’s very in tune with how he really feels about the company he has right now. Not yet. I really do think right now he’s focused on revenge against Vox, bc he’s openly competitive against him and clearly has a vendetta. I think that clouds everything else with him right now and it’ll be a problem later.

I’ve also gotta give it to a couple of other pals who basically confirmed for me that Alastor’s character is heading for redemption. The kind of redemption the hotel aims for (whether that ends with a place in heaven or not idk or care bc I just want him to have a happy ending with everyone). He doesn’t know this, or acknowledge this. But Charlie’s influence is contagious and Alastor is already infected by it a little. It’ll become more obvious later I think as everyone else around Charlie finds love and happiness in the hotel. We’re already seeing it with Angel and Husk and we saw it with Sir Pentious. Alastor won’t be immune from this I’m sure. Which is what I’m the most excited for. I want to see that man change—and he already is but I want to see more. I can see Alastor accepting salvation/redemption as a major obstacle or barrier and probably something very important for Charlie to accomplish, but I think it’ll be one of the best things in the series too.

Alastor is clearly the creator’s baby. He’s obviously the most complex and has the most going on internally. She’s said he’s existed since she was in high school. He’s important to her and important to the show and I can tell the show will take good care of him. I’m very, very excited for it.

I haven’t felt this excited about something in a while so it’s nice and refreshing. I love the show as a whole but I’m so down for Alastor and his arc. I don’t think I’ll be disappointed.

#clearly #I love Alastor #lol #hazbin hotel #hazbin alastor #mettyyy

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unohanabbygirl · 4 months

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All I’m thinking about is fmbh Luke getting the divorce he deserves only to vibe with Daeron and remarry him. Now Daeron and Luke getting pregnant at the same time is something I see so clearly in my mind’s eye. Unlike Aemond, I feel like Daeron completely embraced his body as a way to feel more Targaryen when he was isolated in Oldtown (plus those Hightowers never really wanted to aknowledge the strangeness of Valyrians and Alicent wasn’t there to shame him so actually he was mostly left alone to develop a very healthy understanding of his body). At Driftmark he would def find the freedom to explore his gender with clothing too. It’d be so interesting to see Luke wary of Daeron or see it as a ploy for the Hightowers to try for Driftmark again, but it turns out Daeron is 100x better than Aemond is every regard and things are just easy with him. Once again he curses Viserys for chaining him to Aemond when if the fates had just said Daeron instead of Aemond he wouldn’t have lost 10 years on a dead marriage. Aemond gets nothing in the divorce! (Tho can you imagine his pride being like I need nothing from that bastard while Otto and Alicent saying you need alimony bc you have no money). Also I love divorcee Aemond thinking it was just Luke who was ruining the marriage but once he finds himself a new wife who hates him and still no inheritance he realizes oh shit I had it easy being a consort

Luke x Daeron is so niche yet so important to me so I love this idea of these two finding love with one another. Especially after Luke’s had to deal with Aemond’s bull for so long. It would also be a much cleaner start since they barely know each other seeing as Daeron’s only come around one every blue moon and even then they never actually conversed. There’s no resentment or past grievances making things difficult either, just two people getting to know each other and coming to find love. I don’t even see Daeron holding anything about Aemond’s lost eye against Luke since they barely know each other. There’s no sense of loyalty to his older brother holding him back from a happy relationship despite Alicent’s disbelief that he could ever truly love the man who blinded his “true” family.

Daeron seeing his body as his one connection with his Targ ancestry is eye opening. He’s the only one who never had the chance to connect with that person part of himself being raised amongst the Hightowers in Oldtown. None of his extended family were comfortable enough to acknowledge him being intersex therefore never brought it up, even to shame him. Without shame came the ability to not only explore his body/gender identity, but develop confidence in who he was. Moving to Driftmark would absolutely give him the opportunity to dress differently as well. Luke’s own more feminine/androgynous sense of style interesting him to the point the point of wanting to try some things out for himself.

The image of these two stunting together is stuck to my brain like glue. Luke ofc goes with his usual choices of his houses colors. On the other hand, rather than Velaryon blue Daeron is attracted to much darker blues that almost boarder onto purple in certain light to match Tessarion

Now Divorcee Aemond is forced to see his ex-husband and little brother flow together like a well oiled machine during events calling for the entire royal family’s presence while his new wife barely talks to him. It’s not even just the fact that he’s a pain in the ass to deal with but that Aemond is leeching off of her since he left with no money or lands in his name. Something she never lets him forget whereas Luke only mentioned money when it came to business rather than Aemond’s personal spending habits. (Luke always checked their records, but Aemond doesn’t have to know that)

Aemond really does live a good life as a kept man though. The only reason he involves himself with Driftmark’s trade at all is because it makes him feel as though he’s not living off of his nephew even though he very much is lmaoo

#asks

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rahleeyah · 1 year

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d. c. anon saying hello!

I’m very curious to see if the finales this season (or maybe early next season?) bring together all these little nuggets of wisdom we have been getting all season from benson or if it all was just how it was written, with no connection/complete coincidence, and we were all reading too much into what she has been saying?

Or if we will know what m meant by saying “it’s not like it seems” or something like that. I know I’m getting the quote wrong.

With that being said, im loving this arc. Oscar papa bring brought in was purely for the fans 😂😂 however Amanda? Was she always this amazing profiler? Genuinely asking bc why else would she have been brought in? Like to serve the purpose of highlighting that Amanda clocked Elliot for leaving Liv? Again for the fans?

welcome back anon!

if we were still under wet lettuce's reign of terror, I would not be able to say with any confidence that I think there would be payoff for all the threads that have been woven so far this season, and Olivia's nuggets of wisdom in particular (physician heal thyself indeed). however. the premises are under new management and that new management has so far done a much better job of telling a cohesive story across episodes, and so I am cautiously optimistic that Olivia's lightbulb moment is incoming. it feels, very much, like somebody over there knows what they're doing, and the fact that the last couple episodes of both shows were left in the same hands gives an even greater potential for a satisfying payoff, tho I continue to remind myself of how s14 ended - we may very well be left on a cliffhanger. which like, that's a solid way to insure a big audience for the premieres, whenever they may be. so we shall see.

oh, Amanda. so Amanda's thing has always been psychology - she has, in a few episodes scattered across her decade on the show, expressed a particular interest in getting inside the minds of the most deranged killers. it is her thing, tho it's always bothered me; I am thinking of the machine elves episodes now, and Amanda's interest in and defense of alternate theories of consciousness, an interest which has always seemed at odds with her intensely narrow view of the world (for example, "abuse victims deserve the abuse bc they allow it to happen" is a theory she has espoused more than once, which, lol).

so the thing is, right, is that it isn't out of left field or anything, her wanting to do these things, it sits right inside of the characteristics they have given her. the thing is, I've never seen any reason to believe she speaks with any authority on the subject. she took point on a few interrogations - the Henry Mesner fiasco comes to mind - and has attended lectures - as they all have - but like. My girlfriend has spent a lot of time learning about serial killers. no one is calling her to be a profiler. I feel like Amanda was brought back not for her skills but for the Drama(tm). Some fans like her very much, bringing back a familiar face for a finale is a good way to boost ratings, allowing us to see Olivia interact with Amanda after we have watched Liv grieving her absence is compelling from a character perspective. and that's the thing, right, is that this is entertainment, so it doesn't matter if Amanda has any skill as a profiler - just like it didn't matter that Nick's pivot into science seems super weird. it's a "willing suspension of disbelief" moment, I think, and I may fuss about it on occasion but I'm not like. mad about it lol

I did want to see Elliot and Amanda acknowledge that they have something in common in leaving Liv, so I'm glad we got that, though "I left bc I'd killed a teenager about the same age as one of my own daughters and the brass were going to make me do a number of things I personally find intolerable and even then I might not get my job back and I can't risk my pension and I have a toddler to raise and I can't talk to Liv about it bc I'm in love with her and if I see her face I'm gonna throw everything away for her" and "I took a new job and then never called her again and made my husband, who is her friend and sees her very often for work, promise not to tell her I'm pregnant for reasons as yet unspecified" are not exactly the same thing.

#anonymous #dc anon #e.o asks #s.vu

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alphinias · 1 year

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SO GLAD YOUR ASKS ARE OPEN! I have a lot of thoughts lol and this is going to be super long and all over the place but I definitely need to just get it all out! Sorry in advance!! Firstly, I excitedly hopped onto the jiara tags after finishing and was surprised that so many people had problems with jiara?? Is that the majority or am I just seeing it randomly? Also I keep seeing people say they aren’t together in the end? But I don’t see why people are assuming that? They sat next to each other and kie looked down and smiled lovingly at j… also I’m hearing people complain about how jiara felt rushed but I definitely don’t see it that way. I think over all it was amazingly portrayed and angsty and represented their relationship so well! Keep in mind that they have known each other for yearsss, they have both deep down had feelings for each other and have spent weeks on an island being around each other 24/7 and bonding. I think for a friends to lovers trope, it was perfect because for them to decide to take the next step in their relationship and make the choice that it’s worth pursuing they obviously have to be in love! I will admit that I slightly missed their married couple banter but for people to be saying that they ruined jiara bc of the lack of banter is odd to me. Kie has always been soft with jj whenever they’ve been alone and away from everyone else… it’s definitely not a new behavior. Also, kie knows jj, she knows how he’s struggling and her being soft with him was her way of showing him that she cares and loves him which I think JJ really needed this season and she def knew that. He definitely didn’t need people banging on him like they usually do. He needed to be shown that he is worthy and that he’s understood, appreciated and loved. I absolutely loved the kiss and leading up to it! It felt like jiara! I just wish they had better lighting! (What’s up with shows always doing this with our fav ships?) also, it definitely ended a bit early but that’s my bad for assuming we’d get a full make out lol. (I might be slightly bitter that cleope got a good lighting and zoomed in kiss lol even tho I love them) JB’s dad’s storyline was really dragged and boring! It took up way too much screen time for sure! I actually ended up skipping a few parts after ep 5, and I didn’t care for him in general! He was a selfish ass I think. As far as the time jump, I definitely hated it! It felt like a rushed/lazy way to tie up loose ends which was unnecessary since we’re getting a s4. Like I get wanting to bypass some stuff and show us that the pogues won but by doing so you skip over the real rewards of seeing how they react/handle the next steps in their lives! We want to see all of jiara’s firsts! That’s the most rewarding part! And I hate when shows do this bc it just feels like a disconnect! They better serve us some good content to make up for it next season!

I agree with pretty much everything you said!!

From what I’ve seen, I think most people seem to have generally liked the Jiara. But I also think the finale petering off the way it did left a lot of bad taste in everyone’s mouth, and it was the last thing everyone watched. I think it’s going to settle with everyone a lot better after a few days have passed and we can better appreciate all the stuff we got.

I don’t think Jiara felt rushed. I had my concerns for a split second that they were acknowledging their feelings too fast, but the angle they were going for really settling in to Kie knowing in 2x10 and being so happy on the island worked. And the emphasis on JJ’s struggles of accepting that kind of love rather than a journey to those feelings really worked imo! I also missed Jiara banter, not gonna lie, but the angst was fantastic, and in the happy moments like the fishing scene we did get that more classic Jiara dynamic. So it’s still there. I think part of the reason this also felt lacking was because of the lack of good fun group scenes in general; that’s almost always when their banter shines because it’s more relaxed and not directly about them and their relationship.

And of course, a lot of people have had this ship getting together playing out in extremely specific ways in their heads for three years. The show is never going to hit all of those on the head exactly, and that’s also an adjustment period when a slow burn gets together I think.

#jiara #ask #obx spoilers

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egokillr · 2 years

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manifesting with ocd/ anxiety

a gentle guide to managing your mental health while manifesting your dream life :D

i hope to write this as a motivational guide for those who deal with ocd, any anxiety disorders, and mental health issues in general. i’m going to explain how i dealt with my mental health and the things i experienced on my lil journey. last year when i really got into the law of attraction, my fears intensified and i realized they had always had my life on hold. or “limiting beliefs” as you would call it, but it kind of made me anxious about life and spirituality. etc. after i was diagnosed with ocd, i went down a kind of spiral because i didn’t understand the law of assumption yet and had lingering limiting beliefs that people in the law of attraction community would enforce. i honestly was kind of anxious abt creating my own reality. and, honestly thats okay! it’s completely normal when you come to that big of a spiritual realization. having ocd made intrusive thoughts feel scary for me because it seemed kinda real, knowing that your thoughts create. i also would have obsessions and intrusive thoughts which i would try to fix in my head. it lead me to create “rituals” or compulsions to try to “fix” them. the problem here is that i was trying to fix them when they didnt need to be fixed. your thoughts should not be viewed as “good and bad,” but rather just thoughts. they are nothing without your attention. so why fight them? its kind of like acknowledging that theres an issue when really, they are simply thoughts, so why would i fight with it? when you create an issue with those thoughts, your mind sees it as a threat. the goal is to neutralize that. a mental diet is normally used to manifest the things you want into your life by being selective with your thoughts, and it is extremely helpful. but i was taking some things the wrong way, beating myself up for negative thoughts, etc. i was scared of messing up my manifestations in any way and just felt guilty about my past creations in general. in reality, no one can take your desire away from you once you have it. i realized after pondering the question of how to manifest with ocd efficiently, that circumstances most definitely do not matter, and even that is just another “circumstance.” there is nothing in your way! your assumptions create.

i have realized a few things while bettering my mental health that have helped me understand the law and how to cope with ocd while it lasts.

1. you decide what manifests

your intrusive and anxious thoughts will never manifest if you assume so! i would recommend making that a reminder or affirmation to just know. i also would recommend not using this as a response to intrusive thoughts or anxiety 100% of the time though, bc it acts as kind of a mental compulsion in my opinion.

2. intrusive thoughts are to be treated like background noise

they are nothing without your attention. therefore they are already gone, bc they are nothing and you said so. some of them may be “scary” but really they are nothing more than thoughts until you give them the power to be more. Exposure Response Prevention is the leading form of therapy for OCD and is good for other forms of anxiety as well. it exposes you to the anxious environment while making sure you don’t perform a compulsion to reduce your anxious reaction to it. therefore, lowering your anxious reaction when exposed to the thought. i would recommend looking into it if you are struggling with anxiety on your journey. but if an intrusive thought arises such as “im going to get in a crash” and “oh no what if that manifests and i just die,” try not to respond to it but instead just sit with any anxiety or feeling and let it pass. don’t even give yourself reassurance that it’s okay. it’s not even a “bad” thought so why would you need reassurance? you’ll realize that you’re just the observer and thoughts have no power over you.

3. manifesting good mental health

this is optional!! you can always work through it the therapeutic way or both! i find that doing a bit of both helps me a lot. sometimes when things are difficult you may need the extra help. thats still you manifesting better mental health! its all you helping yourself. you can always have assumptions such as “i have no intrusive thoughts” or “i have the perfect mindset” and yes, it’ll come true. but regardless, no thoughts can ever effect you until you give them the power to, and you should always have that in mind. negative and intrusive thoughts are not the problem. the reaction to them is what causes the anxiety. i’m so glad you can manifest better mental health/ mindset, it really helps speed up the process.

5. affirmations to start your day :D

i find that reminding myself everyday of these affirmations help me to stay more calm. these are just what im comfortable with so you can always adjust them for yourself!

- i am always safe in my own energy

- no doubt or fear can even touch my power

- i love myself unconditionally

- i am in control

- negative and intrusive thoughts never manifest

- i am naturally a positive person with positive experiences

- i am confident in everything that i do

- i have the perfect manifesting mindset

6. calming resources!

if you ever are to experience a spiral, it’s always okay. the key is self-compassion, and remembering that you can change anything whenever you want too. you don’t have to manifest 100% of the time. take your mind off the event and onto yourself and your wellbeing first. you are your first priority!

- controlled breathing

this will help you anytime and anywhere! breathing through the esophagus (stomach) helps relieve anxiety. i would recommend taking a few deep breaths to just be and set everything else aside. you can look into meditation practices or breath work to get into a more relaxed state as well c:

- journaling

if you need to vent or are overthinking, this is a great outlet for releasing thoughts. write down anything u want! nothing can affect your manifestation if you assume so. journaling will really help you become more comfortable with yourself as well as improving your mental health.

- subliminals and affirmations

remind yourself that you are god and you can change literally anything! there are lots of subliminals for relaxation if you don’t feel like affirming.

- text lines, hotlines and therapy

sometimes we need help and das okay c:

a really good website for finding therapists in your area - psychologytoday.com

and if you ever need a crisis hotline, just look up the crisis hotline in your country and there should be an option to text or call.

that’s basically all i’ve noted based off of therapeutic research and just personal realizations. you don’t have to do any of these things and can still manifest! if you have anything to add to this, please let me know. i haven’t seen many posts about ocd and manifesting, so i hope this will help anyone who is wondering the same. always do what works for you. regardless of anything, you are god! i believe in all of you c:

#law of assumption #manifesting #mental health #mental diet #affirmyourreality #affirmations

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cherrybomb618 · 1 year

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Some CoT shenanigans (?)

I know it's been only a day since I read the book but I need to do this so badlyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.

Here are some thoughts about CoT that I need to get out in the open before they eat me alive. I’m just a fan of this series since 2014 and I’ve been waiting for this book to come since that year.

(Note: English is not my native language so sorry for the mistakes)

-------------------------SPOILER ALERT!!!-----------------------------

In general I can say I really enjoy the book, I liked it a lot. I mean, I did feel it a bit rushed since the Intermission chapter, and at the same time I felt it a bit slowed before the same chapter. I felt as things that were relevant (for example, the bracelet thing or finding Lucie) could be written or summarized in two or three chapters but took so long to resolve. Anyways, I’ll be breaking down some of the stuff that I can’t stop thinking about

1. The love triangle. I mean, WHY? There was already a third person in that relationship (aka Gracelet). I won’t lie, at the beginning I wanted to know what would happen or how would it be if Matthew and Cordelia kissed. But just a kiss, not the whole bridge and hotel scene. While I was reading half of it, I wanted the kissing to stop lol. I mean, you can see how much she drowns in love for James in the past books, but there are just tiny glimpses of her POV when she acknowledges Matthew’s smile, eyes, etc., but not in such a romantic way as when she talks about James, it was more friendly if anything when she talks about Math. That difference made me feel that maybe the scene was kinda out of place. Idk, I just felt as if there wasn’t enough romantic history between these two to make such a scene like that (not the way as in TID where you could see Tessa and Jem having those moments as well as Will and Tessa). Their friendship was really special, and it should have remained that way. This love triangle felt as another way to wound Matthew bc I think everyone knew how it would end.

2. Cristopher’s death. IDK HOW TO FEEL ABOUT IT (Of course I’m sad but you know). Because I really wish we could’ve been able to see more of him in the past books. I had a really strong feeling that all his potential was only shown in a few pages of CoT, in the way he helped Matthew with his abstinence and Kit’s reaction and wisdom about all the bracelet thing. I know he’s similar to Henry’s character (in the way he’s too wrap up in scientistic stuff) but Kit is WAY CLOSER to the Merry Thieves (damn, he was one of the 4 members – and as far as I’m concerned James, Matthew and Thomas characters had similar relevance) and way more INVOLVED in the plot than Henry was on TID. I do think Kit deserved more relevance.

3. The coronation. I had hope it would have some deeper meaning to the plot, as if the coronation would allow Belial’s to take control all over the world, not only London (I can’t recall if it was mentioned, if that’s the case, I would’ve liked more elaboration as to the consequences) – or for instance, it would had some other frikin’ dark and evil reason as to why he’s been planning all this stuff up since so long ago.

4. There were too many characters for only three books. I mean, we followed so many storylines and that’s why I felt it was a little rushed in the end. And even in the Epilogue, it didn’t give me a sense of closure (tbh, Idk if that’s for the better) – still, I don’t know why I have this feeling as if there were things left unspoken. Like I was expecting for a conversation between James and Cordelia after everything that they went through. Same for Lucie and Cordelia (this is another thing that had me losing my mind, see next point). I was hoping that we’ll get to see Matthew’s story confession and the whole gang reaction. I thought we would see all and more scenes I wanted to read but there were only sentences that made look as if everything was so unseeingly settle.

As well, there were situations that I thought would be a little bit hard to work out (Anna and Ariadne relationship or Alastair’s confession for reference (Idk if I’m missing something but I don’t recall Sona knowing that Alastair liked men, pls forgive my bad memory if that’s the case ☹)) but at the end it was so simple. I mean, despite everything Anna and Ariadne had said in the past, I was expecting they’re relationship to develop a little more strongly. Idk if that makes sense but I felt such an absence of Anna’s usual character, Idk why (For instance, this is regarding her behavior before Kit’s death). I mean, they never really talked, there were only kisses scenes - but I wanted them to actually sit and settle things down, not in the rush of the moment, like the battle.

5. Cordelia and Lucie relationship. OMG I wanted so bad for them to be parabatai. This was one of the reasons I wanted to read TLH, but tbh I felt as if their relationship was push aside (for most of the series). I know each one of them had a secret but I’d loved to see them bonding more than for a few scenes. And in the end, IDFK when did they worked out their problems. I mean, there were pretty awful words and hurt feelings between them but I don’t know if I missed the part where they apologize – or at least talk about it. Still, I’m happy to see they did get to do the ceremony and all.

6. Grace. For most of my reading of TLH I only thought of her just as a tiny not-so-evil lovely bug that was manipulated by her mother. I didn’t exactly hate her – I felt a strange sympathy for her. It was such a complex character and I liked the way she was developing throughout the book – until the epilogue. Idk what it was but somehow, I felt her ending incomplete.

7. Tatiana’s death. I didn’t want Cordelia to kill anyone. I mean, I know they’re shadowhunters but they kill demons, no humans or someone like them. It was weird at the beginning BUT honestly Idk what other ending I can imagine for all the horrible things Tatiana had done.

Now, things I actually LOOOOOOOOOOVED.

1. The way Matthew’s problem with alcohol was handled. I was so f****** afraid he was going to die bc of it, but he didn’t so I’m happy.

2. One thing that I really loved was the fact the it was the love that James felt for Cordelia what break the bracelet and free him from its power and also overpower his grandfathers will (considering that man was a Prince of Hell). I found it rather poetic.

3. LOVED WILL SENDING FIRE MESSAGES AND THE THELEPHONE THING. THAT WAS SO FRIKIN FUNNY.

4. I didn’t know how much I needed the scene between Tessa and Lucie until I read it. (And the little fraction of sentence were Tessa and Will were fighting the Watchers).

5. This may be controversial, but I feel so conflicted about the ending. I already established that I didn’t get the closure that I’m used to regarding other CC’s books. Still, I can’t help but be happy that the couples (except for Kit and Grace) ended up being together and happy.

#chain of thorns #chain of thorns spoilers #chainofthorns #shadowhunters #cassandra clare #the last hours

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