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#I'm so happy that we got so much interaction between these two
azriels-shadowsinger · 2 months
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“All you do is push me away. I'm done. Whatever this is, it's done.”
Azriel x Reader
wc: 2.3k
a/n: responding to this request. sorry this took forever, i started my new job this week! also, thank you for 400 followers!!
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“It will be fine, y/n!” Feyre reassures, rubbing a gentle hand down your back. You bite your lip anxiously.
“I don't know, Fey. It's already awkward enough trying to introduce my boyfriend to the high lord and lady, the general, and scariest of all, Amren.” You chuckle. “But seriously, I’m even more worried about Azriel. He’s been so weird and distant since we ended our... situationship?” You sigh heavily. “Whatever it was, he got all weird when it ended. I’m worried he’s gonna make tonight weird.” You whine.
“Rhys already talked to him. Azriel promised to be welcoming.” Feyre reassures
“I’ll believe it when I see it.” You grumble. Truthfully, you knew very little about your new boyfriend, Wesley, and you had no idea how he would behave around your friends, but when Cassian caught you on a second date and blabbed about your new boyfriend to everyone, you had no choice but to introduce him to the group. Hopefully, Feyre was right that everything would be fine.
———
Everyone at the table was visibly uncomfortable, thanks to Azriel. He had spent the first half of dinner in a very tense silence, ignoring everyone’s attempts to interact with him. He only responded with mocking laughs under his breath at every other thing Wesley said. Rhys had tried to speak to Azriel in his mind, Feyre told you, but his walls were up and he refused to drop them.
You thought it couldn’t possibly get any worse, but once the final course came out, Azriel switched from chilling silence to obnoxiously challenging everything you or Wesley said. You were going to kill him.
“So what do you do for fun, Wesley?” Feyre asks, attempting to alleviate tension.
“Uh, I like studying history.” He answers quietly. Azriel chokes down a laugh, and you internally groan at the most boring answer he could’ve chosen.
“Hm, that's weird y/n. I thought your usual type was...” Azriel eyes Wesley with distaste “much different.” You scowl at Azriel.
“I don’t have a type, Azriel.” You say defensively. “And if I did, it would be Wesley.”
“Sure it would.” He says smugly. “I seem to recall you have a preference for tougher guys, specifically Illyrians-“
“That is enough, Az.” Rhys commands, cutting Azriel off and using his high lord voice. Everyone sits quietly, not sure what to say next.
“I think I should leave.” Wesley says uncomfortably, breaking the silence and moving to stand. “Goodnight everyone, it was wonderful to meet you all.” He says with a forced smile before heading towards the door. You hurry after him, heels clicking loudly on the floor.
“Wes, please stay! There’s dessert, and I promise it won't be as awkward. I’ll make him leave.” You beg once you two are out of earshot.
“Don’t bother. You didn’t tell me you used to date him. That would’ve been great information to have going into tonight.”
“We never-“ he cuts you off.
“Save it. I have no interest in competing with the fucking spymaster. You are not worth the effort.” You visibly flinch at the harsh words and tears begin to form in your eyes, as he turns away. “I’ll see you around.” He mutters and leaves.
———
When you return to the dining room, Azriel is sitting there with a victorious smirk on his face, eating his dessert. One look at the rage in your eyes, and everyone else had the bright idea to leave you two alone.
“Are you happy now?” You holler.
“Kinda, yeah.” He says smugly. You let out a frustrated groan.
“You spiteful, ignorant, selfish male!” He laughs slightly at your outburst.
“What’s wrong sweetheart? Could Wesley not take a little joke?” He grins.
“He broke up with me because of your gods damn immaturity!”
“Good. You can do better, he doesn’t deserve you.” Azriel replies nonchalantly.
“What the hell is your problem? Is this because I ended things between us?” That causes him to freeze, dropping any amusement from his face.
“No.”
“It is, isnt it? Well guess who’s fault that was! You don’t date, you told me so yourself. And any time I tried to get closer to you, you put up walls and shut me out.“ you let out an exasperated sigh. “Even now, all you do is push me away. So you know what Azriel? I'm done. Whatever this is, it's done.”
“There’s nothing to end, we aren’t dating. We aren't even fucking anymore.” He spits coldly, but you see the hurt lacing his features, matching your own.
“Yeah, I got that. Loud and clear.” You murmur. “Stay the hell away from me from now on.” You growl before exiting the room, leaving Azriel alone.
———
You had not so much as looked at him in three weeks, and it was driving Azriel crazy. He had assumed that with your now ex-boyfriend out of the way, you would eventually turn to him to resume your previous friends-with-benefits situation. He couldn’t help but miss your company.
Azriel, Cassian, and Rhys sat around the table at Rita’s drinking whiskey. As soon as Azriel began complaining about you again, Cassian rolled his eyes, finished his glass of whiskey, and stood up.
“I’m tired of hearing about this every damn day. I’m getting another drink.” He grumbles.
Azriel wasn’t sure why he was bothered so damn much that you were avoiding him. Sure, he had plenty of females offering him pleasure every time he went out in Velaris, there were two eyeing him from across the bar right now, but he didn’t want them.
“Honestly, what I miss most about her isn’t even the sex.” Azriel admits, slurring his words slightly as the alcohol takes effect in his system. Rhysand’s ears perk up at this admission. Previously, Azriel had only ever admitted to missing the consistent sex or complained that you were overreacting, but this was new. Rhys wondered if Azriel even realized what he was saying.
“What do you mean, brother?” Rhys probes.
“I miss the nights we spent talking. And how somehow she managed to know exactly what I needed, without me having to say it.” Azriel downs the rest of his drink. “I just want things to go back to the way they were. Like when she would fall asleep next to me and I would actually be able to quiet my mind enough for once to fall asleep too. Or when she smiled and I felt all warm inside. I don’t even know why I shut her out when she asked about becoming more. Maybe because it scares me.” Azriel prattles on, talking to himself more than Rhys.
“You love her, you idiot.” Rhys states, which immediately pulls Azriel’s focus.
“That’s not… don’t do that Rhys. Don’t put shit into my head.” Azriel says defensively. Cassian returns with another round of whiskey for everyone.
“What did Rhys do?” Cassian asks casually as he passes a glass to each of his brothers.
“I informed Az that he’s in love with y/n.” Rhys smirks and sips his whiskey.
“I’m not-“ Cassian cuts Azriel off.
“You totally are!” Cassian laughs. Azriel huffs out a breath and downs his whiskey in one big swallow. There was no use arguing with his brothers once their minds were made up.
“I gotta go.” Azriel mumbles and storms out the door. Rhys and Cass just exchange knowing glances.
———
You hear someone banging on your door late that evening. You want to say you’re surprised to see Azriel when you open the door, but no one else would bother you this time of night. You just look at him expectantly, waiting to hear what he has to say.
“I was wrong before. I should've never pushed you away when you said you wanted more. I was just scared of how I felt and scared of getting hurt by you. I’m sorry for being a dick and I’m sorry for ruining that dinner with your ex-boyfriend, I just couldn’t stand to see you with someone else. Please, give me another shot.” Azriel has such a hopeful look in his eyes, waiting for your answer.
“I told you I was done.” You say, trying your hardest to stay calm and collected.
“But I-“ he takes a deep breath. “But I love you. Please, give me a chance to make things right.” You pause, mind reeling at the admission. As much as you want to admit the same thing, you can’t afford to get hurt by him again, so you do your best to calm your racing heart and force the words out.
“It’s too late, Azriel. I’m sorry.” You shut the door quickly before you can give in, immediately letting your tears fall once it's closed.
———
More weeks passed, and you eventually decided that you had to stop wallowing in self-pity and try to move on again. Wesley might have not been the one for you, but surely someone out there is.
You had decided to go out to Rita’s with Mor and eventually found a decently nice male to talk to. You two chatted for a while, and as the end of the night drew closer, you decided to shoot your shot.
“So, I don’t really do this, but do you wanna come home with me?” You ask the male nervously.” The lights of the bar turn on, indicating that it’s closing time.
“Yeah I-“ he pauses, looking you over. His eyes go wide and he backs away. “No. I can’t go home with you. I should’ve never talked to you.” He hurries off quickly, almost seeming frightened.
You turn towards Mor with a confused look, trying to ignore the hurt you feel from the harsh rejection. Did you really look that different with the lights on, you wonder.
The next day, you were in your room telling Feyre about the night before, trying to understand what went wrong.
“I don’t get it, Fey. We were having such a nice conversation. I was sure that he would agree to come home with me. But as soon as the lights came on and he saw me, he ran off. I didn’t think I looked that bad in the light.” You complain, flopping back onto your bed. Feyre choked on her drink for a moment, seeming startled.
“He didn’t…” she mutters to herself, shaking her head.
“What?” You sit up, confused. Feyre gets a far-off expression, likely speaking to Rhys in her mind about something. “What is it Feyre?” You ask curiously. She groans.
“The other day I overheard Az and Rhys talking, and Azriel made a joke about how he could just threaten all the males in Velaris that they can’t go anywhere near you. I assumed he was kidding, but I just asked Rhys about it, and apparently he wasn’t.” Feyre explains awkwardly.
“Are you kidding me?” You yell as you shoot up off the bed and storm out your door, muttering some apology to Feyre about having to leave.
———
You put a city-wide ban on dating me?” You scream angrily as you storm into Azriel’s room, not bothering to knock.
“Yeah, I did.” Azriel smirks at you.
“What the fuck Azriel? You don't have some claim over me! Call it off.” You shout.
“No.” His firm, unyielding voice gives you goosebumps.
“Stop it with the territorial male bullshit. It won’t change anything, so call it off!” You try to keep up the anger in your voice, but as Azriel stalks closer, you lose your boldness.
“I’m not calling it off.” His voice is dangerously low.
“Why not?” You mutter. Azriel leans closer.
“Because eventually you will realize that you still want to be with me, and when you do I don’t want anyone getting in the way of that.” He whispers, his lips brushing the shell of your ear, causing you to shiver slightly.
“I told you before. I’m done.” You try to sound confident, but it doesn’t come out quite right.
“Sure you are. Whenever you decide you wanna change that answer, I’ll be here.” He says with a wink. As you leave you feel conflicted. This may be the most territorial male bullshit you have ever witnessed, but you can’t help but smile slightly, realizing that Azriel basically just publicly announced his feelings toward you.
———
You lasted two days without returning to visit Azriel. You had told yourself it was to yell at him some more, but deep down you knew it wasn’t. Azriel opens his door after hearing you knock and looks genuinely surprised to see you.
“You win. You managed to scare off any decent male in Velaris. So congrats, I’m all yours.” You concede reluctantly.
“It was never about winning, sweetheart.” He shuts the door behind you, caging you between him and the door. You look up at him earnestly.
“Then what was it about?” You ask.
“It’s about getting a second chance to prove to you that I was an idiot. It’s about the fact that I will spend every single day for the rest of my existence trying to prove to you that I love you, and praying to the Mother that you decide to let me show you.” He whispers, leaning closer. You look up at him, seeing that hopeful look in his eyes again.
“Just one more chance?” Your voice comes out so soft he almost doesn’t hear you.
“One more chance, I promise that’s all I’ll need. I don’t plan on ever doing anything to mess it up again.” He answers sincerely.
“Okay then.” He doesn’t get a moment to process that you agreed before you pull his face towards yours, closing the gap between your lips. He immediately pulls your body into his and runs his hands through your hair.
“Thank the gods.” He murmurs into the kiss. You pull away for a moment.
“By the way, I love you too, Az.”
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yes that last little bit about the dating ban was inspired by the deal by elle kennedy, but i just thought that was so funny and i believe without a doubt that Az could threaten all of Velaris to stay away from you
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taglist: @fxckmiup
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ferrstappen · 9 months
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Max the wag: are we the drama? l Max Verstappen Imagine
happy note: hello my loviessssss! How are you all? It feels like it’s been an eternity and I am so so happy to be back to writing and interacting with your great and incredible asks and everything <3 and I know I said this was supposed to be ready by Monday or so? but I started an internship and it's been harder than expected, but I'm getting the hang of it so be prepared for more works to come!
Probably tomorrow I’ll be posting a list of all the requests I’m incredibly behind but that way you know I got them and are on my mind and will be written <3 I also don’t know if you like the idea of starting a tag list? Please please let me know, babes <3 
ALSO I got an incredible request of the Max the wag series involving our boy Yuki AND I LOVED IT SO MUCH so it’s absolutely happening!
YOU CAND FIND THE MAX THE WAG SERIES HERE
summary: For the first time, Max and you find yourselves on the other end of the gossip.
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Hungary Grand Prix, 2023.
Max wasn’t feeling like himself.
The car upgrades were supposed to be great, not to make him struggle and happy a shitty day, which meant shitty questions, passive aggressive press conference trying to not look so annoyed, but it didn’t help that the press was painstakingly working to get the worst angles with furrowed eyebrows and waving off strangers trying to aggressively approach him.
Of course, it didn’t help you weren’t there to hold his hand walking around the paddock, forcing his blue eyes to focus on your calming smile and the inevitable lovestruck expression plastered on his face. 
And yes, he was letting out the fact he didn’t leave Monaco in the best of terms. He’d grown accustomed to you tagging along to most races, but when you informed him you wouldn’t be able to make it to the last two races before summer break he didn’t take it the best way. 
Yes, Max understood you were needed at your job and deadlines were way more difficult to meet with changing time zones, bumpy flights and noisy paddocks and hospitalities, but it didn’t change the fact that he needed you and his selfish self really needed you cheering for him, even if you’d seen him win enough times already. 
In conclusion, it was safe to say he didn’t really feel like putting on a genuine smile or goof around with interviewers who’d ask the same questions while Christian tells him off for looking unapproachable. 
The only thing that turned the corners of his mouth was a WhatsApp attachment from you, Jimmy and Sassy sleeping with the F1 channel on full display on the TV. 
It wasn’t long until Twitter and Instagram fan accounts came to the conclusion you weren’t there with Max, creating a small discussion with some people arguing that it didn’t make sense you’d tagged along to places like Baku or Melbourne and not go to a race less far away and arguably one of the most popular tracks of the season, while other people defended you saying you had your own life apart from being Max’s girlfriend, you had a job, conferences to attend amongst other things, so it was ridiculous to expect you to be there for every race, no matter how much you loved Max. 
You don’t know whether it was the fact you didn’t post a story on Instagram celebrating Max’s win or the fact Max hadn’t been his best self, struggling with the car, losing control over the tiniest thing and just losing focus overall the fuel for some fans to start speculating about the status of your relationship.
User1: why hasn’t y/n  posted something about max?? she always does when she’s not with him
User2: something’s sus 
User3: no pls I cant handle another July break up
User4: max deserves someone who shows up for him! He arguably had the most difficult weekend of the season and she’s mia 
            User5: she’s always there for him and has a right to have her own life grow the hell up!
Belgian Grand Prix, 2023
Last race before summer break meant most people on the paddock were a turmoil of emotions between the desire for the weekend to be completely over and wishing to do the best possible job before the break.
Max convinced himself he was coming into the weekend relaxed, knowing he’d have to put his best strategies, talent and focus for Spa, but a few free weeks were right around the corner so he could recharge with you, staying in bed for the entire morning before getting up to get ready to go out, maybe arriving back to the apartment drunk and giggly only to regret everything during the morning, but with the knowledge you were going to do the exact same.
He was facetiming you when he came across lots of fans wanting his attention, asking for pictures, until someone asked for you and Max pretended he didn’t listen, not wanting to answer things about his relationship, and the woman that asked wasn’t even sharp enough to catch your face on full display on his screen. 
Had Max known the chaos it would ensue not answering the simple question about you, maybe he’d reconsider, especially since Lando and him jumped from the paddock to a helicopter waiting to take them to the closing night of Tomorrowland where Martin Garrix was closing the last weekend.
User1: *attached video* pls pls you HAVE to see the discomfort on max face when someone asked him about y/n something is not right with parents
            User2: we all know he never speaks about her thoo, im keeping my hopes up!!!!
User4: I’m calling break up and good cuz I never liked her always acted like she was too good for the f1 world and never communicated w fans
            User3: that’s called being reserved moron!!1 you don’t see other wags taking pics with fans except maybe lily bc she’s a pro golfer!!!
You were sitting on your bed when Victoria sent a thread on Twitter (or X? or Threads? it’s confusing) pointing at every proof and detail about your supposed break up, ironically asking if you had something to inform the family since Max hadn’t said anything. 
With widened eyes and unable to contain the urge to see what people were saying about Max and you, two hours later you were still reading gossip sites and didn’t even hear the door of the penthouse opening with both Sassy and Jimmy running away from the feet of the bed. 
“Is this the welcome I get?” Max’s voice announced his arrival, catching you by surprise and throwing the phone in the air. 
“Fuck, Max! You scared the shit out of me, I hate you!” You laughed, finally realizing he was right in front of you and kneeling on the bed to attach your arms around his neck, allowing Max to grab you by the thighs and spin you around while you left small kisses on his cheeks.
“What were you reading? You looked very focused,” Max carefully placed you back on the mattress before throwing his body and groaning at the feeling of his muscles relaxing.
“Did you know we broke up?” You questioned your boyfriend whose blue eyes opened as much as they could, eyebrows raised and slightly moving his head in confusion. 
Max was confused but still demanded an answer on what was going on as he watched the corners of your mouth lifting and quiet giggles leaving them. 
“Look, it’s full of theories because I didn’t attend the last races and after you went with Lando to watch Martin, some fans started drawing their own conclusions!”
“Are they insane? Speculating about other people’s love lives is so rude, and just because I didn’t answer a question about you which I never do? People are crazy!” Max exclaimed on an irritated tone, but quickly caught your eyes, making him realize the people commenting were doing the exact same thing as you, just on a larger scale. 
“Baby, I think this time we are the drama…” You stated before the bedroom became quiet.
It was just Max and you staring at each other, recalling every time you eavesdropped a conversation that clearly wasn’t meant for either of you to hear, or discussed different theories on who had cheated, who had broken up with whom, why some partners were so young or looked almost identical. 
“Schatz, I am not going to lie,” Max started with a frown and serious face before continuing. “I am very proud of us” After letting it out Max started laughing, his cheeks flushing and placing his hand over his mouth to try to stifle the sounds. 
“Baby, this definitely means we made it!”
It was bound to happen, you were meant to eventually become a source of spectacle if you enjoyed gossiping about other people’s lives so much. 
After laughing to the brink of tears, Max kissed your lips; softly, slowly and sensually, making it hard to separate but he stared right into your eyes and asked you in all seriousness: “Should we feed the gossip? Wouldn’t it be fun?”
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We should be best friends too Lando X Fem reader
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Summary: Y/n is Pietra's best friend, she considers Max to be a nice guy, but who she really can't stand is Max's best friend, Lando. At Max's birthday party, Pietra asks just one thing, an easy, fun night, but with Y/N and Lando in the same room, this is almost impossible.
Warnings: Bad words and alcohol.
Word Count: 15K Notes: I suck at second parts, so I'm taking my time with the pt2 of "Playing with fire". In the meantime, here's something new. As always, feedback is greatly appreciated! Thanks for all your comments,
__________________________
"He's coming, isn't he?"
"Y/n, it's Max's best friend, please, please, please, no fights tonight"
"He's the one that always started them!"
"And you were amazing at going along instead of being the grownup and letting it go"
"Excuse me, who's your best friend?!"
"You, but please, just tonight, can you be extra patient with Lando?"
"I'll try"
Pietra had been dating Max for a year now, and it took four months for you to hate Lando. Almost every night you were together ended with a fight between you two. _____________________________
"Hey Mate, happy birthday!" You didn't need to turn to look at the door to recognize the voice owner. You sighed in annoyance.
"Friend of yours, I assume?" the guy standing in front of you, and whom you had been flirting with for the last hour, said with a sarcastic smile.
"Best friend" you rolled your eyes.
To keep your promise to Pietra you tried to stay away from Lando as much as possible and focus on the cute guy in front of you.
____________________________
"Let me get you a refill" Your date took the glass from your hand.
"Thanks"
"My pleasure" he winked at you and then leaned in to place a soft, quick peck on your lips. So far, the night seemed to be going better than expected, no interactions with Lando, and sex with a cute guy was coming your way.
"Isn't he a gentleman?!" His mocking voice was even more annoying.
You took a deep breath before turning around to face Lando.
"Fuck you"
"What's with the cursing? I was just making a statement, you seem to have great taste in men"
"Wish I could say the same about your date" You threw a quick glance toward the blond girl who had been all over Lando for the last 45 minutes, she had done nothing to you but you already disliked her and the childlike way she was giggling with her friends, probably talking about him.
"Ouch"
"Just move and stay away from..." you tried to walk past him but your stupid heel got caught on the carpet. Everything happened so fast. The Brit caught you mid-air, his arms around your waist as your hands fell on his torso, his black shirt was unbuttoned at the top, so your hand was against his skin.
"You ok?" You could have sworn you heard concern in his voice.
The tight grip on your waist and the feeling of his warm skin under your hand seemed to be a little too much for your alcohol-intoxicated brain to voice out a response, so you just nodded.
"If you wanted to cup a feel you could've just asked, you know you have a free pass"
And there he was again, the annoying self-centered prick.
"Please, don't flatter yourself, I would choose planking face first on the floor over this, any day." You pushed him hard, trying to shake away the feeling of his touch.
“And hurt that gorgeous face of yours?” His finger softly traced your cheek, down to your chin, but you pulled away “I would never let that happen. Also, I’ve been told my arms are nice and cozy.” He crossed his arms over his chest, making them seem even bigger.
“Too bad they are attached to a huge self-centered piece of shit like you!”
"Wow" Max's voice startled you. You had said that last phrase as the music changed from one song to another, so every person in the room had heard you, including the cute guy, who was now standing a couple steps away, staring at you.
"Y/n" the disappointed look on your best friend's face broke your heart a little.
"I'm sorry, P." You walked past Lando, took your bag, and left the flat.
A couple tears streamed down your face, falling on your cell screen as you searched for an Uber to take you home.
"Fuck!" you mouthed when the No cars Available text appeared on your screen. You closed the app and opened it again, wishing for a miracle. It was almost 2 am on a Tuesday, and getting an Uber in the middle of the suburbs was a nightmare, you walked to the end of the street, praying that from there, it would be easier to get a car, but again, nothing.
You closed your eyes and took deep breaths, trying to ease the tears, but the frustration and embarrassment were too strong.
A couple minutes later a car stopped right in front of you, from the engine sound it was a sports car, and you knew exactly who it belonged to. The driver's door opened, and you heard him walk towards you.
"Y/n" his voice was low.
"Go away" You didn't turn to look at him, your eyes were probably bloodshot from the tears, and you've had enough humiliation for one night. You opened the Uber app again to keep your sight down.
"Y/n, I'll take you home, come on" He walked to the passenger door and opened it.
"I'd rather crawl there" You answered bluntly.
Like a cruel joke, a sudden gust of wind blew against your body, and goosebumps covered your skin, it was unusually cold for July. As you walked to the threshold of the building, searching for some shelter, the bottoms of your feet reminded you of the heels you were wearing, if you dared to walk back home you might have to do it barefoot.
"Unless you're planning on going back inside, or a car has magically appear on the app..."
"How could I walk back inside there?" You cut him off "I just made a complete fool of myself because of you!" You finally turned to see him as a couple of tears threatened to fall from your eyes again. He looked down at the floor, he seemed embarrassed.
"Then please get in the car, I'll take you home...you don't have to talk to me if you don't want to" He offered you his hand.
You stared at him, he seemed honest and embarrassed. You hated yourself, the puppy eyes were actually working?
"Please, P and Max would kill me if I let you go home alone."
You sighed loudly and walked towards the car. You ignored his stretched-out hand, trying to make a statement, that you were doing it against your will.
As you got inside the car his scent hit you hard, you always claimed he used way too much cologne, but now it seemed nice, warm, almost pleasant, maybe finally being out of the cold was playing tricks on your mind.
The sound of his door shutting pulled you back from your thoughts.
When the car didn't move, you turned to look at him to find him staring back at you.
"What?" you asked in a low voice.
"The seatbelt" he answered as if it was obvious.
"Oh" you turned to pull on it as he started the car and drove away.
It was a quiet drive. From time to time, you discretely turned to look at Lando, whom you always thought was one of those annoying guys with sports cars that would find every little chance to show off, but he seemed to be a decent driver.
Your phone vibrated in your bag.
Pietra💗: Are you ok?
Y/n: Yes, I'm on my way home, I'm so sorry P 😔
Pietra 💗: Don't worry about it, Lando picked you up? He said he was going out to look for you.
Y/n: Yes 😒
Pietra 💗: Good, let me know when you get home, please don't kill him, he's truly embarrassed about how he behaved.
Y/n: Can't promise anything
"Pietra?"
"Yes" You answered without taking your eyes off the phone screen.
"Good to know I have witnesses in case I go missing" He looked at you with a mischievous grin as if you were great friends and this was an inside joke.
You turned to look at him, your face anything but friendly. Why was he acting like you were there because you were friends and not because he had been an asshole?
"Oook" He said in a low whisper and kept his attention on the road.
A few minutes later you heard a breathy laugh from the driver.
"What now?" You asked, breaking the silence.
"You look like a chihuahua"
"Excuse me?"
"You're trembling so much. Maybe you should have worn something more clothy" He stared down at your outfit, black shorts, a lacey bralette, and a matching black blazer.
"I was supposed to spend the night inside a flat"
"But you decided to throw a tantrum like a five-year-old and run out"
"It was all your fault! If you had stayed away from me, right now I would've been with..." You cut yourself off.
"With Mr. Charming?" He turned to look at you. "You just met him tonight." His tone was filled with judgment.
"Why do you care?" You turned to look at him with a raised brow. For some reason, the question threw him off balance, it was nice to be on the other end of the jokes and the messing around.
"Do you want me to care?" He turned to look at you when he stopped at a red light, your winning punch was short-lived.
"Pff, please." You were about to turn away when a sudden movement caught your attention. He turned his body towards you and his hand went behind your headrest. He stared at you deeply, and you stared back. What was he doing? He slowly moved towards you, and your breath quickened as you felt your body get warmer, why was he getting closer? Your mind screamed to move away, but your body didn't move an inch.
Your breath got caught in your throat when he was just inches away from your face.
"Here, put this on before you freeze" he whispered lowly, pulling a hoodie from behind your seat, his breath warmly caressing your blushing face. You stared at him confused.
"What?" He asked, a cocky grin on his face.
"Fuck you"
"If only I had a swear jar." He placed the hoodie on your lap and put the car in movement when the light changed to green.
You contemplated throwing the hoodie back to him, but the cold was teeth chattering, so you got it on. The smell of his cologne intensified, and it felt... it felt nice. You hated how much you seemed to like it. Maybe he had changed colognes, usually, you would find it repulsive.
He turned on the radio, that stupid grin still on his face.
You were getting close to your house, a weird feeling in your chest. Was it sadness? Why would you feel sad about getting home?
Suddenly, the car turned towards a Starbucks drive-thru.
"What are you doing?"
"You're still trembling and I'm out of hoodies, maybe coffee will help you get warm"
He got to the speaker and ordered your favorite drink and a hot chocolate for him.
“How did you know?”
“That coffee gets you warm? It’s basic knowledge, I know you think I’m stupid, but I know things, you know?”
“How do you know my coffee order?”
“Oh, umm the weekend you and Pietra stayed at my house in Mónaco I ordered coffee and P told me what you liked”
“It’s been ages since that happened"
“Yeah..." A weird look on his face, as if he had been caught red-handed. He turned to look away as he approached the window to receive the order.
"Here"
You took the warm cup off his hand. Who was this person?
You held the cup close to your body, giving in to the heat.
"Thanks" You smiled back at him.
"No problem" He drove off as you took a sip from the warm, delicious liquid.
"Is it working?"
"It is, it's nice... why are you doing this?"
"I don't want you to get sick"
"Why?"
"Because being sick sucks?"
"Why are you being nice?" You insisted
"I don't get the question"
"You've never been this nice to me. You're usually picking on me and... being annoying"
"I'm not"
"Yes, you are. You're always calling me names, saying I'm spoiled, uptight, a control freak, you also mock the guys I go out with, the music I listen to, the movies I like..."
"Weeeellll, you started with the name calling"
"Me?!"
"Uuh, yes"
“When?!”
“P’s birthday party last year”
“We had only known each other for like a month back then. What could I've done to you? I didn’t even talk to you that day."
“Well, it wasn’t TO me, but it was about me.”
You stared at him confused, and he continued.
“A friend of yours asked if you liked F1 and you said hell naw, they’re just a bunch of nepo babies that only know how to spin a wheel” He tried to mimic your voice. You were about to protest but he was right.
“In my defense, that was a private conversation... and the world does not revolve around you, I wasn't talking about you, I was talking about all the drivers"
“We’ll you were at a public party, and that statement doesn't really help your case"
You stared down at the coffee cup between your hands. This was embarrassing. Was all this feud with him your fault? You could have sworn he had started it, damn! You were a hundred percent sure it was his fault.
“Why do you hate us drivers so much?”
“It’s not you, it’s the sport… my ex was a big fan, and it ended up bad with him so..."
"...the breakup wasn't my fault" you quickly added.
"I didn't think it was" He tried to cover a mocking smile with his chocolate cup.
"Yeah, right" You rolled your eyes as a faint smile sneaked from your lips.
"Well, too bad an idiot made you hate us all"
It was seriously embarrassing, you could've sworn you were over the stupid breakup with Evan, but he seemed to still find ways to ruin your life even in an indirect way.
"I ...I'm sorry"
"That's new" He joked
"Don't make me regret saying that"
"Sorry" His big smile was kind of cute.
"But really, I'm sorry I was mean, I should not have projected my breakup on you"
"Well..." He parked in front of your building and turned off the engine. "I'm sorry I was childish and tried to get you to like me by bullying you, I swear I'm out of my 6-year-old phase"
"You wanted me to like you?"
"Yeah, you're my best mate's girlfriend's best friend, so if we're going to see each other so much, we should be best friends too. Also, you're actually nice, you don't have bad taste in music..."
"And I have a gorgeous face... your words, not mine"
The curly hair bounced as he laughed at your comment, and you could swear you saw him blushing.
"And you have a really, REALLY gorgeous face"
"Thanks" You framed your face with your hands in an exaggerated flirty way. "Sooo, drinking and driving is against the law even if it's nonalcoholic, and your house is far enough for your chocolate to get cold by the time you get there, as a peace offering, do you want to come up and finish our drinks in a warmer place?
"That would be nice" He smiled taking off his seatbelt fast, as if he was already waiting for the invitation.
He opened the car door for you and walked behind you, shielding your body from the cold British air. You had been so focused on hating him that you didn`t realize how polite and funny he was. It was like meeting a completely new person.
The elevator dinged, letting you know you had arrived at your floor. As you were about to walk out Lando grabbed your wrist and pulled you back in, making you clash against his chest, almost dropping your drink. He stared into your eyes, searching for any sign that you were uncomfortable. He must've seen the fire in his eyes reflected on yours, so he leaned in to kiss your lips, and you kissed him back.
The arm that held your cup wrapped around his neck as your free hand went to make a fist with his curls, one of his arms wrapped around your waist, and his free hand went to your neck, his fingers keeping a blood-rushing grip on it.
He broke the kiss and gave a soft bite to your lower lip.
"Sorry, couldn't help it" He sheepishly smiled as his hand moved from your neck to caress your cheek. "The sexual tension was killing me"
The elevator dinged again, and you were back down in the lobby. As the door opened, a young couple got on it. A knowing smile on their faces as they said hello.
You pushed the 7th-floor button again and stepped back against Lando's chest as he wrapped his arms around your waist. You could see the guy looking at the driver attentively.
"Hi, sorry to bother you, are you Lando Norris?"
"Yes" the Brit answered shyly.
"Damn, big fan, can I take a picture?"
"Sorry mate, I'm with my lady, but I can sign something for you if you want"
"Sure" He took a piece of paper from his wallet as the girl took a pen from her bag. "Thanks so much"
"Sure, mate, thanks for understanding"
The elevator dinged on their floor.
"Don't worry about it, have a good night." The couple exited and you turned to look at Lando as the elevator continued with its journey up.
"Your lady?" You asked with a raised brow.
"It sounds good, doesn't it?" He gave a small peck on your lips.
"I'll have to think about it" The elevator dinged again, and you took his hand, pulling him towards your apartment.
"Wait! Did you do all of this just so you could get inside my pants?" He pulled his shirt together, dramatically covering his chest, as you opened the apartment door.
"You wish." You answered as you pulled him inside.
Tag List: @wtrmlnsgr94, @ricsaigaslec
Let me know if you want to be added to the tag list.
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buckyhad · 7 months
Text
Forever
Pairing: Dark!Carlos Sainz x reader
Warnings: NC thats it, based on this request!
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Carlos was the sweetest boyfriend you have ever had, caring, tending to your needs, loving.
Until he got jealous, every little interaction between you and another men was a reason for him to lash out at you. Nothing serious, it was normal for your boyfriend to feel that way sometimes.
Except that time went he took it a little too far.
"That's the dress you are wearing tonight?" Carlos asked furrowing his brows.
"You don't like it?" You asked a little bit sad, tonight was another gala with the drivers about something you didn't remember anymore, choosing a red long dress, with a low cut and a high slit that you loved.
"Yes, I like it, but you are showing a lot" he said.
"Its just a part of my leg".
"Whatever" you knew he was already working himself up so you just decided to leave it there, thinking that going to the gala and getting some drinks in his system would help him calm down.
But you were so wrong.
You two arrived at the place an hour before, Carlos got some strong drink while you choosed some water, Carlos hated when you drinked.
Alone in some corner while Carlos was at the bar again, waiting for his order, when Charles, Carlos' teammate went to say hi to you, making Carlos start to march where you to were happily chatting, getting there just in time.
"I really like how that dress looks on you" Charles said touching the strap of your dress.
"Thanks you, I love the colour a lot" you said blushing a little bit, taking a step back from the monagesque.
"I know, she looks so nice" Carlos said with his hands on the pockets of his pants "We are going amor, grab your things".
---------
"That's why you used that dress? So you would get compliments from Leclerc?" Was the first thing he said when you got to the hotel.
"No! I really liked how it looks on me!".
"Stop lying!" He said grabbing your arm.
"The fuck is wrong with you" you screamed at him trying to get of his grip.
"You know how much I love you, why do you need to flirt with other guys?"
"I wasn't flirting" you whispered "I'm going to go now, let me go, please".
"I'm sorry amor, I didn't mean to grab you, I'm just so mad" he said looking at you with those pretty big brown eyes "Please, no te vayas (don't go)".
"I just need some time, to think you know".
"Te amo (I love you)".
"I know" you said closing the door and making your way out.
-------
You rented a small apartment on Spain, wanting to be alone for a week, not talking or seeing Carlos.
But he had other plans, leaving at least 50 missed calls per day and thousands of unread messages.
-----
By the fifth day without knowing anything about him, someone knoked on your door, being as tired as you were lately, you just opened the door without looking.
Feeling a hand on your mouth while the person closed the door you felt their breath by your ear.
"You need to be more careful, someone could hurt you" Carlos said.
You tried to take his hand off while he was pushing you towards the table.
"I'm going to take my hand off, you better not start screaming" he said and chuckled "At least not yet".
"What are you doing" you started crying, feeling how his hand pushed your upper half onto the table, and hold you there, while his other hand pushed your dress up and your panties down.
"Read your texts with Charles, 'I'm so sorry that you fighted with Carlos, I'm here if you need anything'" he recited while starting to get his tip wet with some spit.
"Please, he just wanted to be nice. You've lost your mind" you cried feeling how he pushed inside you "Carlos you know I'm not in anything, pull out. Please" got out between sobs.
"Well, you would be mine forever now".
A/N: I'm sososo sorry this took so long, I've been studying for an exam (went sl fucking wrong) and now I've another one, anyways, FORZA FERRARI SEMPRE, happy Carlos won today, sad how they didn't listen to Charles AGAIN
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24carathoney · 2 months
Text
Let's Play A Little Game | H.JS | 18+
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Pairing: Joshua x FemReader
Wc: 2.2k
Genre: Smut // Established Relationship
Warnings: minors do not interact // f. masterbation // m. masterbation // Joshua watches reader masterbate // unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it) // f. fingering // squirting // creampie // multiple orgasms // overstimulation // use of pet names such as beautiful, love, baby //
Summary: Joshua and reader make a bet.
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The rules were simple. The one who cracks first loses. If the both of you weren't so damn determined this game would've been over by now. But no. Neither of you could give up the title of winner. Here you are alone at home, soaking in the bathtub while Joshua was away at a photoshoot. Your mind was racing and the ache between your legs was beginning to be too much. And all of your me time wasn't helping one bit. 
You and Joshua were sitting on the couch in your shared home while he told you about the different bets Mingyu had lost during the tour. 
“He bet Seungcheol he could beat him in a fight?” You cackled, head leaning against the couch as he tried to catch his breath. 
“Yeah he did! It was so funny watching someone as tall as him run away from Seungcheol.”
“Seungcheol is a fucking power house. I'd run away too. I'm not getting hit by him.” Joshua let out another laugh as you scanned over his features, when an idea popped into your head.
“Speaking of bets. I have one in mind. For the two of us.” He arched an eyebrow but gave you his full attention, watching you fiddle with your fingers. “Let's see who can last the longest without sex.” 
“You honestly think you'd win that fight?” His eyebrow remained raised as his hands intertwined behind your back, pulling you closer to his body. You gave an excited nod, rubbing your hands over his clothed chest. 
“Yeah. I think I've grown used to your games. It shouldn't be a problem.”
“Have you? Okay then…..what does the winner get?”
“The loser has to do whatever they say for the next week.” You said and he looked up at the ceiling as if he was contemplating his choices.
“Alright. You got yourself a bet beautiful.” He mumbled against your lips, sealing the deal. 
You let the memory fade as you dragged your hand down into the water, leaning back against the tub. A sigh left your lips as you imagined it to be his fingers instead of your own. You could feel the slick of your arousal between your thighs and that easily let you slip two fingers past your folds. Your head pulled back as you started thrusting your fingers in your entrance, a quiet moan leaving your lips. It felt good, but your fingers were not nearly as thick as his or as skilled. You curled your digits to that gummy spot that could push you over the edge but it wasn't enough. You groaned as you pulled your fingers out, starting to get more frustrated. The two of you made that stupid bet now you're struggling. Why? Because neither you or Josh plays fair. The past couple of days have been nothing but subtle glances, sly touches, and teasing. God the amount of teasing he's put you through. The night before he wanted nothing more than for you to cave. Telling you how beautiful you looked. How badly he wanted to bend you over the counter and take you then and there. 
“Don't you have that photoshoot tomorrow?”
“Yeah. Seungcheol and Jeonghan are gonna be there too.”
“Ah I see the 95 liners having a shoot together. How sweet.” You stated eating out of the cheeto bag in your hands. He nodded but wasn't fully listening as kept his eyes glued to your mouth when you licked the excess cheese dust from your fingers. You thought nothing of it until he grabbed your wrist, bringing a single digit to his lips. You shivered as his warm tongue ran over your finger and you swore you could die a happy woman tight in the kitchen. When he pulled away you stared up at him with wide eyes before he sent you a wink. 
“Come on beautiful, we should head to bed.”
“Hong Jisoo you can't do that to me and expect me to just fall asleep!” You shrieked as he walked away with his head thrown back.
“Trust me. I want nothing more than to fuck you right here in this kitchen. Bent over and on display for me. But I have a bet to win.” 
You sighed as you looked down at your hand, frustrated that you couldn't find the relief you dearly craved. Before Joshua you had no issue getting yourself off. But after Joshua? That man showed you many different ways to explore your body that you never knew existed. You decided to stop sulking and just watch a movie tonight. You grabbed your towel and stepped out, letting the bath drain out as you stared at yourself in the mirror. You scoffed as you went into the bedroom not even realizing Joshua was leaning against the doorframe. You moved to let go of the towel and a loud groan left his throat as it piled up onto the floor at your feet.
“Jesus babe you scared the shit outta me! Announce yourself!” You shouted as his dark gaze scanned you from head to toe. The man wasted no time closing the distance between you, taking your waist into his tight grip. “Shua….” 
“Did you cum?” You shuddered at his blunt question trying not to think about the way his hands are running up and down your sides.
“What?”
“In the bathroom…..you know you're not very quiet.” He smirked down at you and you took your bottom lip between your teeth. He grazed your cheek with one hand as he stepped forward, pushing you backwards till your legs hit the edge of the bed. There he was on his knees above you with dark hungry eyes and you felt yourself getting wetter than you were in the tub. 
“I think I thought of a way for both of us to get off, without losing the bet.” He took off his jacket and hooked a finger over his collar, slightly pulling to open up the top of his shirt. “We can't touch each other but we can touch ourselves. While the other watches.” Your chest grew tight with excitement. You've never had him watch you fuck yourself, be it with a toy or your own fingers. So this new side of your boyfriend definitely sparked something inside you. “Show me.”
“Show you?” You sat confused and he spread your legs apart gently.
“Show me how you were touching that pretty pussy love.” He said in a low voice and you lowered your hand between your legs. You laid back, getting comfortable to give him a better look. He let out a deep groan as your cunt glistened. Shining under the light beaming from the lamp beside the bed. “Look at that. So fucking wet for me.”
You whined when your finger grazed your clit wishing he'd do something. Anything. But he just continued to watch you. You decided to entertain him and arched off the bed when you slipped a finger inside with ease. You started to get hot under his intense gaze. In a sudden need for more, you added a second finger, using your other hand to rub soft circles around your throbbing bud. You couldn't get off before but now? It was something about the way he watched you that sent you to cloud nine. Your eyes fluttered closed as you drove yourself closer to the brink of an orgasm. You jolted in surprise when you felt his breath on your inner thigh, not even hearing him move down your body. 
“Joshua.” A shaky breath left you as he peppered soft kisses along your skin, inching closer and closer to where you needed him most. But that's all he did. His lips never made it home causing you to whine in frustration. 
“Patience baby. *kiss* “Watch me.” *kiss* “Watch you.” *kiss* Every place his lips landed left a warm sensation as you plunged your fingers deeper into your pussy, your palm slapping against your clit. A familiar knot quickly formed in the pit of your stomach as your mouth fell open, the thumping in your ears slowly getting louder. “That's it. Is my pretty girl gonna cum for me?”
“Fuck, I'm gonna cum. Gonna cum for you.” You shook as he dragged his tongue along the skin of your inner thigh. Your body went stiff as your release crashed onto you leaving Joshua in awe. He could never get enough of watching you come undone. It would be a memory he stored for the rest of his life. He ran his hands over your thighs as you came down from you high, not even listening to what he was saying. 
“Did you hear me love?” 
“Hmm?” You had a content smile on your face, feeling his lips on your thighs again. 
“Think you can give me another?” His question finally reached your ears and you shook your head. 
“I can't…” But you could and you would for him. Anytime he asked. 
“Just one more. Let me savor it.” His voice was quiet but loud enough for you to look back up at him. His hand stroked his dick to give himself so relief as his eyes locked onto the way your mouth fell open. Your eyes drifted down to his hips and your tongue darted out to lick your lips as you watched him stroke himself. You wasted no more time to slip two fingers back into your slit. Your thrusts were quick as the sound of your drenched pussy filled the room keeping eye contact with Joshua who kept up with your pace. He could die a happy man watching the way your wetness dripped down your thighs each time your fingers slid back into your cunt. You twitched as he grabbed your wrist, positioning your fingers at a new angle while his hips quickly thrust in his hand.
“Oh” Your world was spinning as your fingers pushed against that sweet spot you tried earlier. But this time it was heavenly. Euphoric even. Your thrusts became erratic and you felt a familiar sensation build in your lower belly. “Joshua I'm gonna…….fuck.”
“Let go for me. Give me all of it.” Joshua had managed to strip out of his pants while you were concentrating on chasing your release for the second time. Joshua was too busy taking a mental screenshot as you bit your lip, eyes shut tight with your brows close together. You couldn't hold back any longer as your second orgasm had you seeing stars. You arched your back off the bed as the splash of liquid left your body, gushing all over the bed and Joshua. The sound of your pussy gushing bounced off of your loud moans as the sheets under you became soaked. You had squirted all over his thighs and lower belly. Your body went limp for a couple of seconds as you sat there to catch your breath. The wet and cold feeling on his skin was enough to make him go feral. 
“Fuck it.” He grabbed the back of your thighs, pushing your legs up as he slipped into you with ease. The sudden intrusion caused you to scream out and grab onto his arms. You swore your eyes rolled to the back of your head as his hips slammed into your ass, his cock hitting your g spot with every thrust. You're going to cum again. The drag of his cock along your walls was beginning to make you lightheaded. You were overstimulated but the pleasure was too good as his hips fucked into you at a rough pace. His hand came up to rest on the curve of your hips and you squealed as his thrusts became relentless, the man above you determined to have you trembling tomorrow. 
“Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck” the word falls from your lips like a chant as your release hits you like a freight train. You arched into him as your body stilled, pushing out your cum like a fountain with enough force to have him slip from your pussy. He watches you drench his cock and thighs and within seconds he was back on you, fucking you through it as your nails dug into his back. The pressure in his stomach was ready to snap and he placed a soft kiss to the back of your ankle before pulling it over his shoulder, hips pistoning into you slow and hard. The fucked out look on your face paired with the way your pussy clamped down on him was enough to tip him over the edge as he gave one last hard thrust. His body stuttered and you felt him shoot his load deep into you. He gave a few more thrusts to ride out his high before grabbing himself by the base and slipping out of you with a squelch. You whined softly as the feeling of his warm cum leaked out of you. He scooped up some of the excess before pushing back into your hole causing you to jolt as he brushed your clit by mistake.
“I guess……” You took a deep breath.  “I win.” Your eyes locked onto his and he gave you a soft smile before taking your lips in a kiss. 
“I guess so.” He smiled as he kissed your shoulder. “What would you like me to do first?”
“Make me dinner?” You asked, wrapping your arms around his neck. 
“As you wish.”
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melminli · 6 months
Text
phone time
summery - you and satoru have been together for a long time now, like really long. next week marks your nine year anniversary, actually, and your friends think that it's a bit weird that you two are not doing anything special on that day.
contains: fem reader, fluff/crack, utahime being in your business, gossip, meimei hate, suggestive joke at the end
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"we were thinking about going shopping with mei mei this weekend, you want to come with us?" utahime asked you as you stepped into the living room after leaving the kitchen. it took you a second to answer her, as your attention was focused on the tray in your hands. you really didn't want to risk one of the three cups of hot coffee spilling over and doing a mess. as well as getting a third-degree burn.
when the tray finally touched the small table, you got around to answering. "i don't know. i've been spending too much money lately." you admitted, making yourself comfortable on the soft carpet. sitting across from the sofa also helped the conversation flow more smoothly. "i would still come just to hang out with you guys, but you know i don't like meimei that much..."
shoko was about to add something when gojo interrupted her. "you can just take my card, you know. and meimei isn't much of a talker anyway. you should go if you feel like it." he suggested from his position on the pastel pink armchair. "you can also go to starbucks together. they should have pumpkin space latte on the menu again now that it's fall."
you thought about the proposal once more at his argument while holding your cup in your hands. the girls on the other side sent disgusted looks to the man. even though he spoke in their favor, they weren't really interested in hearing his input. "and why are you still here? i thought you told your crusty boyfriend to leave for a few hours." utahime complained to you.
"and i did." you replied and sensed the mean looks he gave you when you didn't correct her after she described him as crusty. you just shook your head to signal him that she didn't know what she was talking about. "weren't you gonna meet up with suguru?" you asked him, looking in his direction.
i can't believe i'm getting kicked out of my own place. he leaned a little deeper in his seat at that thought, but didn't really mind since it was you who asked him to. he wasn't really authorized to participate in girl talk and was, to be honest, a bit butt hurt about it. he would do anything to participate in a session. "we are. that asshole is running late, so i would be very grateful if you ladies could show me some mercy and let me wait inside since it's like two degrees outside."
you raised an eyebrow at his wording and spoke up with a grin after taking a sip. "what's the matter, elsa? can't handle the cold?"
satoru just rolled his eyes. "i can't wait until it starts snowing. doesn't it ever get boring? making the same jokes over and over again."
you pretended to give his question serious thought until you finally answered. "no, not really."
utahime watched the interaction between you with a furrowed brow. "i can't believe you two are a couple." she finally said, abruptly changing the subject. "you just don't act coupley at all."
shoko disagreed. "what does that even mean? they've been together for like forever."
it felt a little strange to gojo that she was kind of supportive of your relationship right now. she wasn't really, but it felt that way to him, and he was happy about it and agreed with her. "exactly. that is a heavy accusations you're throwing in the room, that i'm not going to tolerate. i would literally die for my girlfriend, which is like the bare minimum, i know. but still." he spoke in a completely serious voice.
you hummed in support of him. "yeah, i mean men are meant to die in war anyway, so it's good that you know."
there. you guys were doing it again. "that's what i'm talking about. nothing about how you behave with each other is romantic in the slightest way." she said, a little disappointed. "i've also never seen you kiss or heard that you're going on dates. i mean, do you even have anything planned for your anniversary?" she continued to enumerate, getting seriously worried.
you didn't take her worry serious since you did all these things in private. you just preferred it that way. "we live together, and we spend a lot of quality time together. just because we don't call everything a date doesn't mean we never do anything as a couple." you retorted, and satoru supported what you said with adding period. "i've been a little lazy lately due to it getting so cold again, and i don't feel like doing anything extravagant because it just mentally exhausts me on top with work. so we'll probably just chill and have some phone time in the evening." you answered her question about your anniversary. maybe you would get satoru a little gift like flowers. yeah, he liked getting flowers. you mentally made a note to look on the internet for some with a nice meaning.
shoko repeated questioningly. "phone time?" somehow, she imagined it to be something very strange.
"yeah, you know." satoru began, although the two had no idea what you two were talking about. "lying in bed. scrolling on social media - mostly tiktok. showing funny or stupid videos to each other and laughing about it."
you raised an index finger to add. "or cat videos." you reminisced about some silly trends in the past. "i kind of miss dabloon cat..."
so the two are just some sort of ipad kids.
"that's pretty weird, actually. you two are weird." said utahime in conclusion, not knowing what else to say.
you just rolled your eyes as you took another sip of your coffee. "last time i checked, you were single."
a sigh escaped her at the remark. "well, i can't argue against that. my dating life has been drier than a desert lately..."
at that, a slight giggle escaped satoru's lips, reminding you all that he was indeed still present in the room. "you know what's not dry after i - "
"satoru."
"what? just because she doesn't see us kiss doesn't mean that we don't do it."
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kamaluhkhan · 8 months
Text
ours are the moments i play in the dark
pairing: conrad fisher x fem!reader
summary: you come back to cousins beach after a few years away. conrad is not particularly happy that you're back - and you aren't particularly thrilled, either. too bad there's a history (chemistry?) neither of you can deny.
warnings: ANGST (im so sorry in advance...); flashback is from conrad's POV and the rest is from reader's perspective; mentions of sex + losing virginities (nothing too detailed/graphic); reader has an ex who's referred to with gender neutral pronouns; reader and other characters drink alcohol (pomegranate margaritas ;) ); hints of alcoholism (reader's mother); jealous reader who's trying her best; pining conrad who's a bit of a jerk; reader and conrad fight A Lot (they will make up eventually i promise!!)
tags: @stargirlsirius-recs, @ifilwtmfc, @qwertyb2577, @allnrsnz, @baconeggndcheez, @peanutbelley, @imogen-skye, @geekinthefuschiahair, @tvije, @drikawinchester, @maybankslover, @junnniiieee07, @elcpsstuff, @fangirl-kimora, @redbierd, @starkeylover
a/n: thank you so much for all the love on my conrad series so far! i love these characters and writing their stories, and it means so much that others are enjoying reading my work. there is one more part left and i promise it will be happier so stay tuned :)) i haven't watched the last two episodes of season 2, but i'm planning on writing a bit for that, too!! thank you x infinity ♡
part one | part two
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i lost a friend / like keys in a sofa / like a wallet in the backseat / like ice in the summer heat (finneas, "i lost a friend")
now — summer, age 18
“you know, you guys aren’t fooling anyone.”
“and what exactly do you mean by that, steven?” you challenge, taking another sip of your soda. 
it’s the fourth of july and susannah invited you over for her annual celebration. susannah always hosted fun parties, so you were more than happy to accept because it meant eating some good food, listening to an upbeat playlist, watching some fireworks, and just relaxing. essentially, susannah always delivered the best of summer, rolled into a carefully planned event. 
the sun was shining, and everyone was having a good time, including you — at least, until you saw conrad and nicole in the pool, engaging in some serious PDA. you immediately got out of the pool and went to sulk near the drink table, where you were happily alone until steven came over to join you.
“i’m just saying, man. you and con are definitely going out of your way to prove that you’re mad at each other,” steven explains. “but we all know how much you care about each other.”
steven is right about the first part: you and conrad had done your best to avoid each other since the incident at nicole’s party and its fallout. if you and jeremiah had planned to go surfing and he invited conrad, you would always back out at the last minute. if you were over at the fishers helping belly pick out an outfit for a date with cam, conrad would conveniently stay in his room. not to mention, any time the two of you did cross paths — which was rare, but jeremiah and belly were persistent in requesting that all five of you spend time together, like the old days, they would say — it resulted in meaningless, petty arguments. the two of you had always been competitive and very comfortable teasing each other, but the difference was that now, your interactions were no longer good-natured.
you thought steven, belly, and jeremiah hadn’t noticed, but you should have given them more credit. to anyone who knew you, it was pretty obvious that something was up between you and conrad, even if they didn’t know what exactly it was.
“there’s a thin line between love and hate. and right now you guys are that line.”
“thank you for your insight,” you say sarcastically. “be sure to include that in your college essay — i’m sure princeton would love to have you.”
steven rolls his eyes at you, just as nicole arrives at the drink table.
“hey guys,” she greets. she reaches over to grab two cans of peach iced tea before you stop her. 
“conrad’s allergic to peaches,” you say. “so you might wanna get him something else.”
nicole looks at you for a second before nodding and reaching for a can of sprite instead. 
“thanks,” she says as she walks away. 
once she’s gone, steven gives you a pointed look.
“what?” you scoff. 
steven just shakes his head. “love and hate,” he muses, leaving you to join his parents and shayla near the pool. 
you then decide to go inside briefly, where you find belly and jeremiah, pouring vodka into a blender.
“we’re making pomegranate margaritas!” belly exclaims, practically giddy. 
“well, you gotta use the good blender for that.” conrad seems to appear out of nowhere from behind you, instantly reaching for the aforementioned good blender and placing it on the counter.
you were already in a sour mood from seeing him with nicole earlier, but belly looks at you with hopeful eyes, and you remember what steven said earlier, so you mentally promise that you would play nice with conrad. you owe belly and the others that much after being absent for so long: a carefree summer, just like the ones you used to know. 
you imagine that jeremiah sent conrad a similar pleading look because, miraculously, you and conrad don’t argue with each other as you help mix pomegranate margaritas for everyone. you actually engage in playful banter and laugh at the other’s jokes. you even feel sorry for him when his father, who wasn’t supposed to be here, walks in. you can feel the good mood slipping, so you suggest heading to the beach for a change of scenery.
belly had invited cam and a few more girls who are doing the debutante thing with her, and with steven bringing shayla and conrad bringing nicole (which, you are totally fine with, of course, especially after a pomegranate margarita), you had a pretty solid party forming on the beach, away from the adults. 
of all people, belly suggests some drinking games. it’s all a blur of sand, laughter, and vodka spiked fruit juice. once you were all the perfect amount of tired and tipsy, the group settles down, and gigi suggests a different game.
“we should play truth or dare.”
“oh my gosh we should!” belly smiles, tapping your leg enthusiastically. “remember? we used to play it all the time!”
you smile back. “of course i do.” 
when you were kids, you, belly, steven, jeremiah, and conrad would play truth or dare any chance you got. it was never very serious, mostly goofy pranks and harmless questions. you had all grown up since then, and somewhere along the way, truth or dare had become less innocent than it used to be.
“y/n,” one of the debs — dara, if you remembered correctly — turns to you. it was the first time your name had been called, and in all honesty, you were perfectly happy just sitting back in the sun and sipping the rest of your drink. “truth or dare?” 
you choose truth, mostly to avoid having to get up from your very comfortable seat on the sand.
“are you a virgin?”
your mouth suddenly feels dry. you’re not ashamed of your answer, but it doesn’t help that you can see conrad glaring at you from the corner of your eye. you take another sip of your drink before answering. 
“um, not really.” 
“it’s yes or no question,” nicole says. 
“then my answer’s no,” you declare.
“what?” belly screeches. she sits up straighter to turn towards you, and in the process spills some pomegranate margarita on her dress. “i can’t believe you had sex and didn’t tell me? when? with who? what was it like?” her cheeks are slightly flushed. a sober belly would have likely asked you in private, or at the very least, not in front of people you barely knew. in that moment, you almost regret the pomegranate margaritas.
almost. because maybe it’s the silence and everyone’s expectant stares, or the adrenaline you feel from winning most of the drinking games, or the effects of the drinks themselves, but you convince yourself that it’s as good a time as any to tell the story. a sober you would have known to tread more carefully given the context; that would have been about three pomegranate margaritas ago, though. 
“it’s kind of a cliche story, honestly,” you start. “it happened last summer. it was raining that night, so we were hanging out in the back of my teammate’s van, just talking, and one thing led to another….we didn’t plan to do anything, but we got caught in the heat of the moment.” you choose your words carefully, deliberately avoiding eye contact with conrad.
“how was it though?” belly asks, leaning in closer.
you shrug. “a little awkward, i guess? neither of us had sex before then, and we were both figuring stuff out. like, he couldn’t open the condom wrapper because he was so flustered, so i had to help him. it was nice, though,” you admit. “when the rain cleared, we went out to stargaze and fell asleep on the beach.”
belly sighs. “so romantic.”
“you’re right about it being cliche,” steven laughs. he has an arm thrown around shayla, and uses the other to gesture towards conrad. “conrad, man, that sounds almost exactly like your first time.”
you feel your entire body heat up, and it's not because of the sun shining down on you. conrad’s gaze finally meets yours — for a split second only, but it’s enough for steven to notice. 
“holy shit! it all makes sense now!” steven exclaims, suddenly standing up.
jeremiah frowns, looking between you, conrad, and steven. “what makes sense?”
“i’ve been trying to figure out why y/n and conrad have been so weird around each other this summer, but it’s obvious now: they lost their virginities to each other. they had sex!”
nicole stiffens and narrows her eyes at conrad. “you told me you never hooked up with y/n.”
“well, that’s definitely not true.”
“belly,” you warn, looking over to conrad once more. his cheeks are turning red, and you imagine a storm brewing beneath his dark blue eyes. 
“i don’t know about last summer,” belly continues, completely oblivious to the tension building. “but i do know that they kissed at your party.”
“i knew it,” nicole scoffs, pushing away from conrad. “i knew it.” with one last poisonous glare towards conrad, she storms off.
conrad sends you an equally poisonous look before chasing after her. the party dissolves shortly after.
feeling defeated, you lie back in the sand, close your eyes, and let the sun shine down on you once more, taking deep breaths to slow down your heart rate.
call it karma or a cruel twist of fate or just a really shitty coincidence, but you’re finally the one left alone on the beach.
then — summer, age 17
conrad was more than a little surprised to see your name appear on his phone. it wasn't like you were completely off the grid — you texted, though infrequently, and followed each other on socials. he scrolled through his instagram feed and saw the occasional picture of you wearing a costume at a halloween party or sipping hot chocolate on a snowy day. photos that never quite fit the image he had of you in his mind: in cutoff denim shorts and a swimsuit and layers of sunscreen, with sand in your hair and popsicle stains on your lips.
“hey,” he answered after only three rings. 
"hey fisher, any friday night plans?"
he told you he was working on his college essay.
“homework on a friday night in the middle of summer,” you tsked. “i never realized how much of a nerd you are.”
conrad laughed. “i mean, that’s on you for just realizing that.”
 “fair enough,” you hummed, and conrad could practically hear your smile through the phone. “if you’re in the mood for something more fun, look out your window.”
conrad wasn’t quite sure what to expect, but you standing in the driveway of his summer house was pretty low on the list. you waved at him frantically, telling him to hurry up and open his window.
he was still in awe as you climbed through. conrad tried to memorize the image of you then and there, standing in front of him in his bedroom: wearing dolphin shorts and a light jacket, with chipped turquoise nail polish and a bright smile.
"you drove all the way here?" 
"well, they haven't cracked the science behind teleportation yet," you say playfully. "so i didn't have many options."
"i can't believe you're here," conrad smiled, and that’s when you finally hugged him. he held on tightly, afraid you would leave at any moment if he let go. you smelled the same, like chlorine and vanilla sugar.
once you broke away from the hug, you pointed towards something behind him, pinned to his bulletin board. conrad followed your gaze and felt his cheeks heat up.
“i missed you, too, connie,” you teased, eyes lingering on the newspaper clipping of your swim team making it to nationals thanks to your record time. 
“mom showed it to me,” he explained, the smile on your face making his heart beat out of his chest. “she’s so proud of her little mermaid.”
your smile fell, just a bit, but enough for conrad to notice a shift in your mood. you always did a good job at hiding the weight of the world on your shoulders, at least around the others. not so much around him.
you sighed and sat down on his bed. “you know, after that swim meet, my dad lectured me about not being fast enough,” you explained. “winning by only a millisecond apparently wasn’t enough to impress college scouts, at least according to him.”
“your dad’s a jerk,” conrad said instantly. he sat down next to you. “and an idiot, if he can’t see how amazing you are.”
“thanks, connie,” you whispered. it looked like you were going to say more; instead, you picked up his laptop. “wow, you weren’t kidding when you said you were working on your college essay. you really are a nerd.”
“shut up,” conrad laughed, nudging you with his shoulder and trying to grab the laptop from you.
you nudged him back. “it’s a compliment! schools go crazy for trust fund nerds.”
“yeah, yeah.” conrad waved you off. “so, you’re in cousins for the summer?”
all you did was smile softly and close the laptop, finally handing it back to him.
conrad’s heart burst with joy. because not only were you there — finally there, after all that time away — but you were staying. his mom would always muse about summers in cousins being magical, but conrad didn’t quite believe her until you were gone and he felt that magic fade away. 
“do you wanna go downstairs? belly’s watching it happened one night with my mom and laurel.”
“as much as i love susannah’s favourite movie,” you started, and conrad’s heart soared again at you remembering his mom’s favourite movie. “i thought maybe it could just be the two of us tonight? maybe we could go for a drive.”
that’s how the two of you ended up at mermaid grove — a secluded stretch of beach about an hour away from your houses. it was near the mall your mothers sometimes went to, and during one of those excursions when you were young, all the kids wandered off and found it. the only time you’d been there was during the day and with jeremiah, belly, steven, and your siblings, so it felt different then, at night with just the two of you.
it started raining on the drive over — which only took 45 minutes without traffic — so you were hanging out in the back of your van. the van actually belonged to one of your teammate’s cousin who was somewhat of a hippie, you said, which explained the smell of weed and bohemian decor — battery powered rainbow fairy lights, colourful pillows, an elaborately patterned tapestry. the space was definitely intimate, or maybe it felt that way because you and conrad were sitting as close as possible to each other, shoulders touching and one of your legs tangled with his. he was scrolling through the pictures on your phone of your last swim meet in california, where you'd gotten the chance to visit stanford, while you were peeling an orange. 
"you would love it there, connie,” you gushed. you dug your fingers into the orange peel, and the smell of citrus started to fill the air. “the beaches are beautiful and the waves are amazing. it’s like, always summer.” 
conrad sometimes felt like summer was the only season of the year that he was truly awake, truly living. everything else felt like a dream, one that he would always describe to you in mundane detail; conrad even kept a small journal throughout the year, writing things down that he needed to tell you once you reunited every june. but one journal had turned to two, almost three, and conrad was trying really hard to not resent you for that.
“anyways, i think i’m going to apply in the fall.”
conrad stopped scrolling through your phone, pausing at a picture you had taken of a lemon tree. “doesn’t your dad have princeton lined up?”
“you make it sound like he bought my way in, when it was actually hours and hours and hours of training to get that scholarship. on the national best swim team.” you mimicked your father’s patronising tone for that last part; conrad hadn’t seen him in years, and he could still recognize it. 
“you’re right, though. my dad would flip his shit. even if i got in with a scholarship, it’s so far away and i have the twins to look after, but a girl can dream, right?”
“i feel that,” conrad assured. you gave him a sad smile, knowing that his dad was as intense about football as yours was about swimming. the worst part was that you both loved your respective sports, until they became a burden. you both had other burdens to deal with, too, when it came to your families. 
“in an ideal world, the two of us wouldn’t have to worry about anything else. we’d live in a place by the beach, surf every day, and hang out in the sun while sipping ice-cold, fresh lemonade.” just like we used to, conrad added in his head.
“in an ideal world,” you agreed. “we’d also adopt four dogs, each named after one of the beatles. you can teach them how to play the guitar.”
conrad laughed. “if i couldn’t teach you, there is no way i can teach one dog, let alone four.”
“well, they wouldn’t get distracted by your dreamy blue eyes like i did.” you winked at conrad, and handed him the freshly peeled orange before he even had time to blush.
“take it,” he protested. “you drove all this way — you should eat something.”
you shook your head and placed the orange in his hand before you pulled out another fruit from your bag. “i picked some of these up on the way here — best peaches on the east coast.” you took a big bite. “remember the summer we found out that you had a mild peach allergy?” you asked, juice dripping down your chin. you wiped it with the sleeve of the varsity jacket you wore.
conrad laughed at the memory. belly and steven had brought back candy from their trip to toronto. conrad practically inhaled an entire bag of fuzzy peaches, and didn’t realize that they weren’t supposed to make your mouth itchy — the “fuzzy” part wasn’t literal. that felt like so long ago, but there you and conrad were, settling back into each other like no time had passed.
as the night grew darker, you and conrad shifted closer to each other. conrad ate orange slice after orange slice as you devoured your peach, all while looking through the photos on your phone. you’d occasionally interject with a short story or comment, and there were still raindrops falling on the roof, but for the most part, there was nothing but a comfortable silence between you. 
you moved to wrap the orange peel and peach pit in a napkin, just as conrad swiped onto a photo of someone kissing your cheek.
“who’s that?”
you leaned over to check. “oh. that’s sam.”
“are you dating?” conrad asked, trying to seem casual about it. just a friend asking another friend about their romantic situation. as a friend. 
“we were,” you explained, sitting back next to him. “they broke up with me a few months ago.”
conrad sighed in relief, which he hoped you didn’t notice. “sorry.”
you shrugged. “it’s fine. apparently i’m emotionally distant.”
that wasn’t much of a surprise to conrad. sam might have been an idiot for breaking up with you, but they were spot on with the emotionally distant part. out of all the time you’d known each other, conrad had only seen you cry once, maybe twice. you were usually the one wiping away tears and putting on a brave face, inadvertently, or maybe purposefully, hiding your own vulnerability. 
still, that wasn’t something conrad was about to stir up.
“what? you?” he joked instead.
“shut up,” you said, rolling your eyes, but the wry smile on your face gave you away. “how about you? broke any hearts this past year?”
conrad thought for a moment. there was aubrey, who his football teammate said had a major crush on him. they had been texting for a while now, and were on the edge of maybe becoming something. but then, there you were, stirring up feelings conrad had long buried — or, at least, tried to. if part of his head was always in summer, then part of his heart always belonged to you. 
“no.”
“got your heart broken?”
he thought back to a few weeks ago, when he ran into your mom at the grocery store, and she said you wouldn’t be coming to cousins again that summer. you hadn’t spoken at all to each other for a month or two before that.
“no,” he lied.
you hummed, and took your phone away from him. 
“wanna hear something trippy?” you asked suddenly. you always had a knack for changing the course of a conversation to where you wanted it to go.
“what?”
“well, since it takes a while for light from space to reach us, when we stargaze, we’re actually looking back in time. like, the star that’s closest to earth — other than the sun — is four light years away. or is it five?” you paused. “anyways, if the sky was clear and we could see that star, it would mean we’d actually be looking at that star from summer, five years ago.”
“very trippy,” conrad agreed. “it’s like a cosmic time machine.”
you hummed. “do you ever wonder what our past selves back then, at like 12 or 13, would think of us now? i think about those summers and how magical they felt.” 
magical. you turned to smile at him softly, and conrad couldn't help but agree.
“i always thought you’d be my first kiss,” you whispered. 
that threw conrad off guard, and it took him a few seconds to regain balance. the van suddenly felt too small and the lingering scent of fruit shared between you two, mixed with the familiar smell of chlorine and vanilla from how close you were sitting to him, became overwhelming. his heart was beating out of his chest — not because he didn’t feel the same way, but because he did.
conrad knew what his 13 year old self would think of him now: he’d be up in arms over his awkward pause, screaming to finally tell you how he felt then, and how those feelings hadn’t really left. how you made him feel safe, excited, confused and angry. how there was a space in his heart just for you, and it was painfully empty when you left, but now that you’re there again —
“sorry,” you said, cutting through the silence. you subtly shifted away from conrad. “i didn’t mean to make things weird.”
“you didn’t,” conrad answered instantly. he registered how you were now slightly hunched over and brought your knees to your chest, how you bit your lip and avoided eye contact — a few hints that you felt uncomfortable, deflated even at his lack of response. 
so, he moved closer to you and gently placed a hand on your knee. 
“you didn’t make things weird,” conrad assured once more. you were brave, he decided: for a lot of things you did, but right then for being so honest, so vulnerable. it inspired him to do the same. “i mean, this might make things weird, but i always thought you’d be my first…you know. at least, ever since i knew what sex even was.”
you finally turned towards him, your lips slightly parted. 
“yeah,” you breathed. “me too.”
conrad’s eyes flicked to your lips, then back to your eyes. 
“do you still want to —”
“yes. i - i mean, no pressure, but if you still want to —”
“i do.”
you smiled then and conrad felt himself do the same. 
when you kissed for the first time, it was like rainclouds parted and the stars came out, shining bright in infinite darkness. the two of you became tangled up in each other: you sat in his lap, legs on either side of his waist, your chests pressed together and your fingers tangled in his hair, which drove him crazy. conrad let his hands explore your body, gently grazing the skin under your shirt. his lips tingled from the remnants of peach juice on yours, but he kept kissing you. 
it was awkward and exhilarating at the same time. you asked each other if what you were doing felt good and right and were slightly embarrassed if the answer was no, but still adjusted if needed. at one point, conrad was fumbling with the condom wrapper and you had to open it with your teeth; he jokingly pointed out how you used to do the same with packs of sour patch kids and you giggled before kissing him again.
the two of you lay down on the floor once you were done. your head rested on conrad’s chest and he had his arm around you, idly tracing shapes on your skin with his fingertips. he craned his neck down to look at you.
even in the dim lighting and after years apart, you looked the same. even if you’d never been that close before, at least not in the same way you had just been, you felt familiar. 
you tilted you head towards him and smiled. 
“what?” 
there was something about the way you looked at him that still made him blush, and conrad hoped that with the lack of bright light, you wouldn’t notice. 
“sounds like the rain stopped,” he said. “wanna go stargazing?”
it was slightly chilly, so you let conrad borrow your varsity jacket, even if it didn’t fit perfectly. the sky was clear and full of stars. you spent the rest of the night there together, on the beach. 
in the morning, conrad woke up before you. he watched as you took slow, deep breaths with your eyes still closed. you looked so peaceful — until the sound of your alarm prompted you to wake up.
“shit,” you exhaled, your eyes wide once you noticed the sun had risen. “what time is it?” 
you searched frantically for your phone, only to find it right next to you.
“shit,” you repeated once you checked the time. you stood up right away, sand kicking from underneath your feet. “this is bad.”
“what —”
conrad didn’t have time to even ask you what was wrong because you bolted to the van. he followed you.
“what’s wrong?”
you looked at conrad, brows furrowed. “i have to go. i don’t want to leave you, but i have to go.”
“it’s okay,” conrad reassured. he stepped closer to you and placed a hand on your cheek. “i’ll be here when you get back.”
“i’m…” you step away from him. “i’m not coming back.”
“what do you mean?” he tried to steady his voice, but a dangerous mix of hurt and anger threatened to wash over him. conrad’s heart dropped, knowing all too well what was likely coming next, but he hoped, wished, that it wouldn’t be like before.
“i’ve got a swim meet in boston,” you exhaled. “but i can drive you home on my way there.”
“you’ll come back to cousins after,” conrad declared, as if saying it out could change what would happen next. “you said you’d be here for the summer.” 
you shrugged, stumbling over your words. “technically, i didn’t say that. you just assumed and — ”
“and you wanted me to believe it, right?”
you closed your eyes and took a deep breath. “just — let me drive you home, connie.”
the use of his childhood nickname — the one he secretly despised, except when it came from you — was what made him snap.
“i should have known,” he snarled. “god, i should have known. you don’t care about me, about us. swimming over everything, right?”
“that’s not true.” your eyes opened, but you still wouldn’t meet his gaze. “i do care, but you know the pressure i’m under —”
“fine. you want to talk about pressure?” conrad laughed, bitterly, all his frustration bleeding out and pooling at your feet. “my mom had cancer, and you couldn’t even be there for me. texts and phone calls only do so much when you’re watching the woman who raised you wither away to nothing.”
your eyes softened slightly, finally looking at him. you took a step forward, but conrad took another two back. 
“conrad —”
 “no. don’t,” he snapped, making you stop. “why did you even come here?”
“i was close by and…” you paused. “i guess i just needed to come back, even just for a bit.” 
"figures," conrad scoffed. “you only care when it’s convenient.” 
“that’s not true,” you repeated. 
conrad waited a second for you say something more, but you didn’t. 
“well, i’m really glad you got what you needed,” he mocked. “tell me, does nostalgia and sex help you swim faster? impress college scouts? make daddy proud of you?” 
you stiffened slightly. “don’t be an asshole.”
“no, no. congratulations!” he clapped to emphasize his point. “i’m so glad i could help you! guess you just needed a quick fuck before your big competition for some good luck. hope it works out in your favour.”
there was so much venom laced in his words, and he could tell you noticed. you looked at him like he was a stranger. 
“fuck you,” you finally said. your voice was shaking slightly and it looked like tears were forming in your eyes. “you can walk home, for all i care.” 
without another word, you got into the car and drove away. conrad watched your car become smaller in the distance as he stood alone at the beach, wearing your jacket and replaying every word he said.
now 
it’s hours after susannah’s fourth of july celebration. the adrenaline and alcohol from early wore off, and you’re sitting on your front porch, sipping tea from your favourite mug. you were hoping to relax, but the sight of conrad fisher storming up to you threatens that.
“where do you get off, saying what you did earlier?” 
even under the low light of the porch, you can see that his face is red with anger. he came here to argue, but you’re too tired to really care.
“well, shit, conrad,” you sigh. “don’t blame me. blame — blame truth or dare and pomegranate margaritas and steven for being so goddamn perceptive.” 
“you lied,” he accuses, crossing his arms. “you said you didn’t tell belly about us kissing at nicole’s party.”
“at least i didn’t lie to my girlfriend,” you point out, your voice dull from exhaustion. conrad is momentarily at a loss for words, furrowing his brow even further, so you decide to steer the conversation in another direction — away. “look, i just had to pick up my drunk mother from the bar, so i’m really not in the mood for this conversation.”
you move to leave, but conrad grabs your left wrist before you reach the door. the sudden action startles you, and you release the mug you were holding in your right hand. it falls to the ground, the break clean, and the rest of your tea spills onto the porch. you exhale sharply, turning back to face conrad.
“i don’t care,” he snaps. “you fucked up earlier today. you never should have mentioned that night. talking about it like it actually meant something to you.”
“you know what, conrad? maybe it’s hard for you to believe, but that night actually meant something to me.” you laugh bitterly, feeling more awake than before. “and, yeah, now i’ve spent so much time regretting it. because maybe i hoped that we’d start dating, but even if that didn’t happen, i never expected to lose my best friend.”
conrad rolls his eyes. “i don’t know how you can stand there and call me your best friend. best friends don’t leave each other —”
“fine, i did leave,” you interrupt. your voice is slightly raised, and you can’t help but feel a new rush of adrenaline flowing through your veins. the fact that conrad is standing in front of you, suggesting that you were the one to blame for the hostility between you — that made you frustrated, angry, even. 
“i had other shit going on,” you continue. “and maybe i didn’t handle the situation well at first — that’s on me, sure. but i wasn’t the one who ignored texts and sent calls straight to voicemails. i’m not the one who’s spending the summer avoiding everyone who knows them because they’re too scared of others finding out the truth. i don’t know who you are this summer, but i know the real you, conrad.”
“no, you don’t.”
by now, you’ve walked closer, standing only a few inches in front of him. if you reached out, you’d be able to brush the bangs away from his forehead, but you don’t. 
“i do know you,” you assert. “in fact, i hate how much i know you. i know that “yesterday” by the beatles is your favourite song, and the first one you learned on the guitar. i know that you’re crazy good at chess, but let jeremiah win sometimes when your dad is watching. i know that you love playing football, but hate that you’re expected to play it. i know that i hurt you last year, so you had to ignore me because that was easier than admitting how you really feel because — because you’re scared.” 
“you’re wrong.” conrad stares at you, his gaze heavy on yours. 
you shake your head. “i know that you didn’t tell anyone about what happened between us because it meant something to you. and that really scares you, too.” 
“you’re…you’re wrong.” conrad’s voice wavers a bit, his eyes soften ever so slightly, and you know you’ve struck a chord. 
“i’m not,” you say. “and, honestly? i’m so fucking tired of waiting for you to realize that. i don’t care anymore. whatever was between us during all those summers, it's obviously not here anymore."
“you’re wrong,” he’s like a broken record, stuck on the same lyric. 
"stop blaming me for fucking this up," you continue. "it's your mess, too, conrad. and i’m so fucking tired."
it’s late, and it’s dark, and you can’t bring yourself to stay here anymore. without saying anything else, you step over the broken porcelain of your favourite mug and into your house, leaving conrad alone on your poorly lit porch.
when the sun rises and you go outside in the morning, the pieces are gone. 
794 notes · View notes
bloodhoundluke · 6 months
Text
drunken smiles & fishnet stockings
pairing: luke hemmings x fem! reader
description: it's halloween and luke is hosting a party! luke and y/n know each other, but little do they know that this night would change something pivotal between the duo.
warnings: 🔞 MINORS DO NOT INTERACT. sex talk, smut, protected p in v, alcohol consumption, cursing, fluff, an embarrassing amount of pet names. (i don't think there’s anything else??).
word count: 5,8k-ish. a/n: hey there friends! 🌟 i wanted to publish this fic before publishing requested & other fics, i'm working on all of them so pls be patient! and this is my first fic which contains smut so there's a huge chance this sucks (i'm actually nervous to release this pls help me i'm scared lol) 😬 also, i have a lot of deadlines atm so pls bare with me, i am working on the requests whenever i can. thank you for supporting my blog, i adore you all so much 🤍 happy late halloween to everyone who celebrated 🎃
dividers by @silkholland.
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"Y/N!", you heard your best friend yell from the other side of your studio apartment. You had been getting ready for nearly two hours, and to one one’s surprise, you and your best friend were already late. Calum had been texting you for a while now, telling you two to hurry up. 
"What?"
"We are so late! We need to get going! Oh my god, this is so embarrassing", your best friend sighed and now stood next to you. You were still fixing your hair in front of a full body mirror.
"Okay okay, stop fussing. Do I look okay?", you asked them and placed the curling iron on top of your drawer, shutting it off. You reached for the hairspray sitting on the drawer, and looked over at your friend who looked absolutely stunning. 
"Yes, you look amazing Y/N. If I wasn't your friend I'd totally hook up with you", your friend cheered and nudged your shoulder gently. 
"Gosh, thanks. I'd totally hook up with you too", you giggled and took a glimpse of their police costume. You ruffled your hair slightly and placed some hairspray on your locks to hold them in place.
You locked your hands with your friend’s, and got into the cab that was waiting outside. 
You had been invited to your friend Luke's Halloween party. You had met him a few years prior through your mutual friend Calum, who was also his bandmate and one of his best friends. Calum and you had known for four years or so, and you considered him to be one of your closest friends. You considered yourself lucky to have a friend like him, since you could tell him anything and you knew he wouldn’t judge you.
You looked through the cab window with the city lights passing by. You wondered who’d be at the party. Luke must have sent invitations for hundreds of people, since he was a pretty popular guy. You found the guy and his shy-ish exterior rather charming, but only in a platonic way. Luke and you weren’t extremely close, but you exchanged text messages every now and then. 
You arrived at the party and looked at the sea of people, who were mingling with each other in their Halloween costumes. Luke’s house was decorated in decorative spider web, pumpkins, and some skeleton figures. Purple lightning illuminated the whole house. You liked the decorations, it wasn’t too much or too little.
You and your best friend decided to go and say hello to Calum and his group of people. Calum hugged you tightly and commented on how he hadn’t seen you in ages. His girlfriend, Brandy, did the same. They were wearing a matching set of vampire costumes. You were happy for Calum, he had finally found a girl who loved him just the way he was.
You walked over to Ashton, Michael, Crystal and Luke. Ashton was dressed in a cowboy costume, which made you smile a bit since he practically dressed like one in real life. He brought you into a bear hug and you couldn't help but smile. Ashton always made you feel so welcomed. Michael and Crystal goofed around in their Anime costumes. You catched up with them and then finally noticed something familiar about Luke’s costume. It was a Harry Potter costume.
No fucking way.
"Cool costume", Luke commented as he saw you eyeing his Gryffindor badge, and the lightning bolt on his forehead. His hair had grown out a bit, but it didn't look bad. Actually, it looked anything else than bad. That man could definitely pull off any hairstyle, you were sure of it.
"Thanks! You too. Suits you", you stated and straightened your own Gryffindor badge on your costume. Dressing as Ginny Weasley, or what you called it low-budget Ginny since you had no cape, was a decision you had made a few days ago. You were supposed to dress as a Pumpkin, but you managed to break the costume and didn’t have the time to fix it. So the second best option was Ginny.
You sighed and looked around the room, thinking of grabbing a drink.
“Oh my gosh! We need to take a picture of you two”, your best friend suddenly exclaimed and you giggled, nervousness plastered all across your face. You saw them giving you the look, and knew instantly what it meant. They believed in fate, what you on the other hand called nonsense. You were sure Luke and you dressing in similar costumes was some sort of sign of “fate” to your best friend. Luke and you could never happen. 
“Really?”, you giggled as you felt a knot in your stomach. Luke was sometimes difficult to read, and you weren’t entirely sure if he would conform to the idea.
“Yes!”, your best friend commented, and ‘totally’ and ‘absolutely’ from Michael, Crystal, Calum, Brandy and Ashton followed after. You and Luke both looked at each of them, then finally looked at each other. Your friends would never let it go, so you’d better just get it out of the way.
“Okay”, you accepted your defeat. “You okay with that?”, you confirmed Luke. “Yeah, sure, why not?”, he took a sip of his beer and placed the bottle on the counter, giving you a small smile. 
You, Luke and your best friend found a spot in Luke’s house and you settled in with Luke against the white wall, as your best friend was holding their phone towards you two. Luke placed his other hand on your lower back, and you placed yours on his stomach. 
“This okay?”, you looked up to him and shuffled a little closer to the man. You saw him eyeing your legs, which were covered in fishnet stockings. His oceanic blue eyes met yours, and you did your best not to drown in them. You hadn’t even chugged down one drink, and you were already a fool for some man. And worst of all, it was your friend. You blamed this growing lust for him on the Halloween spirit. Surely someone had once said that Halloween brings out feelings you don’t usually feel.
“Uh..yeah, sure”, he cleared his throat and chuckled. “You ready?”, he offered you a little smile.
“S-sure”, you returned the smile and you both stared directly at the camera.
“And say….cheese!”, your best friend cheered.
You took an awkward glimpse in Luke’s direction and both of you bursted out laughing. The photos shown afterwards were pretty cute, you had to admit that. And Luke’s hand on your lower back left you yearning for more of his touch.
Damn, you really needed a drink. And to forget Luke fucking Hemmings' hands.
—❦
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After taking the picture of you and Luke, you had been mingling with people, eating, and drinking a few tequila sunrises. You had just settled into Luke’s living room to play Spin the Bottle, the classic party game. The group playing consisted of you, your best friend, Luke, Ashton, Calum, Brandy, Michael and Crystal. To be honest you were zoned most of the time, since you found the game a bit ridiculous.
Then you heard your name as the bottle pointed towards you. In your alcohol-infused state, you picked a dare.
“I dare you to kiss the most attractive person in the room”, Ashton dared. You heard a few encouraging comments coming from your friends, and Brandy gave you a wide grin.  “Ash? Really?”, you squeaked, and gave him a deadly glare. “Well, didn’t you pick a dare, pumpkin?”, he asked and chuckled. Suddenly the rush of confidence you had seemed to fade out, and you mentally cursed the drummer.
“Okay”, you sighed, and looked across the room. The choice was obvious, but you didn’t want to give it away. So you pretended to consider your options for a while.
You got up from the floor, and got on your knees in front of Luke. You caught him looking at you, and he looked away. But then you leant to kiss him, and he kissed you back. The tingling feeling of him kissing you back flustered you. You shouldn’t like the feeling of his lips pressed against yours this much, but you did. His lips brushed over yours delicately, and your heart was pumping. It made no sense, but you loved every second of it. His beard stubble tickled you, but you didn't care. Not everyday you got the chance to kiss Luke fucking Hemmings, who was practically the hottest guy you had ever seen.
You backed away from the kiss first, then did Luke. 
 “Cool”, he let out a nervous chuckle and you did the same. Cool…really? You didn’t know if you should have been offended or relieved that the awkwardness of it was finally over.
“That was hot”, your best friend whispered into your ear as you went back to your place on the floor. “He’s hot”, you whispered back. The taste of pure tequila lingered on your lips.
“And Ashton’s so hot too”, they whispered. “Go get him, Y/B/F/N”, you advised, and winked at them.
The game continued and the next rounds were spent by hearing how Ashton’s favorite sex position was Basset Hound Doggy and Brandy’s biggest turn off in a relationship was controlling behavior. You also saw your best friend give a lap dance to the person who they fancied the most in the room, Ashton. They both seemed to enjoy it. Michael and Crystal had also shared a steamy make out session, to which you all cheered.
It was Luke’s turn next.
“Hmmm…okay. What is your biggest turn on?” Michael asked Luke and took a sip of his Corona, placing the bottle on the floor afterwards. Luke’s answer interested you, you had to admit. 
“Ohh…got many. But neck kisses are a big one”, Luke slyly answered and gulped down his tequila. “Ohhh, that’s a good one”, Ashton agreed and you saw him looking in your best friend’s direction. You rolled your eyes slightly, and giggled to yourself. They would totally share the bed tonight. 
Luke spun the bottle, which landed on Calum. He chose the truth. Luke didn’t come up with anything, so your best friend chose the question instead. 
“Which two people in this group should hook up?”, your best friend asked Calum.
Oh my god, were they serious? You totally knew where they were getting at. But hopefully Calum didn’t understand that, or anyone else for that matter. You were safe, Calum would definitely pick Michael and Crystal. Or Ashton and your best friend. 
“Well, the obvious choice would be Brandy and me. Or Michael and Crystal, but…I feel I want to stir the pot, I guess.. So… I think Luke and Y/N… I mean we saw the kiss Luke and Y/N had earlier”, Calum smirked devilishly at Luke, and then at you. The group around you chuckled, and seemed to agree with Calum as they were nodding their heads. But not you nor Luke. 
“Okayyyy, so maybe Cal should stop drinking for tonight”, you chuckled, and Calum gave you a humorous smile, which screamed a polite fuck you, in return. You saw Luke looking down at his drink on the floor with a drunken smile on his face. He fiddled with his rings on his left hand. He looked up and directly at you, boring his eyes into yours for a milli-second. You wondered what was going through his head, since yours was filled with so many questions. 
Why didn’t he say anything? Why was he so quiet? Did he find your kiss icky? Did he find you… repulsive? Why was he acting so strange? 
—❦
The party was over and people had left Luke’s apartment, which was now littered with red cups, beer bottles and pizza boxes. You had been settling into a spare bedroom in Luke’s house. Ashton, Calum, Brandy, Michael, Crystal and your best friend were staying over as well. 
You drank water alone in Luke’s kitchen, since everyone had already gone to sleep. The now quiet atmosphere made you feel at peace, and you smiled to yourself.
You enjoyed the brief moment of silence until a head of blonde messy curls appeared from the doorway.
Luke walked into the kitchen and gave you a tired little smile. He opened the refrigerator door and took a large water bottle, pouring it into a glass he retrieved from the cabinet. He placed the bottle back to the refrigerator and closed the refrigerator door as you were still drinking your own water.
You noticed how he had gotten rid of the jacket and the tie, leaving him with a slightly unbuttoned white collar shirt and dark gray pants. He had also wiped the lightning bolt off his forehead.
Standing here with Luke, in this terrifyingly awkward yet weirdly comforting silence, made you question your lust towards the man. Maybe it was just the alcohol running through your veins. That might just be the only logical explanation.
“Let me guess, you don’t want to get a hangover?”, you chose to break the silence.
“Hell no”, he sipped water, “did you have fun tonight?”. The blonde locked his eyes with yours and you looked away, your eyes now fixating on your ring-covered fingers.
You cleared your throat, and answered, “Yep, had a blast. And you?”. 
“Yeah”, he smiled and you went closer to him, as you were about to place the cup in the sink. Your hands brushed against his as he was just about to do the same. You both placed your cups in the sink, and your eyes met his. You both stood in your places quietly, and for some weird reason, you couldn't help but look at his parted lips. And you noticed him doing the same, then his eyes studying yours.
Your heart started to race a million miles an hour. You weren’t nervous around the people you fancied, but Luke was a different story. He was the epitome of gorgeous, so you couldn’t really blame yourself, could you?
He turned his body towards yours, and you took a step closer to him. You didn’t know what you were doing. Hell, you didn’t know what he was doing either.
Luke let out a low chuckle and you couldn’t help but bite your lower lip. 
Yes, even a fool could tell you wanted to kiss him. But you weren’t sure if you should. And you weren’t sure if the man in front of you noticed that too. 
Thankfully Luke had noticed your indecisiveness as he leant in for a kiss. You had imagined this after the kiss during the game, but now that it was actually happening, you couldn’t believe it. This was rougher than the last time. More passionate. More demanding. He moved even closer to you, placing his hands on the sides of your face. You felt his cold rings against your bare skin, but it didn’t matter. Not when he touched you like this, his thumbs brushing against your cheeks and his tongue battling for dominance over yours.
He backed away from you, licking his lips.
“Fuck… I shouldn’t have done that, I’m sorry”, he apologized and rested his body against the kitchen counter.
“What do you mean?”, you frowned your eyebrows. Was he being serious right now?
“It’d mess things up…if we go further. Shit, this on its own could make everything awkward...”
“What if…what if we just don’t think about the consequences? You want me, and I obviously want you”, you suggested. You didn’t want to think, not now. You didn’t want your growing lust for Luke to go to waste. It would be a shame if it did.
“Are you..sure?”, he scratched the back of his head.
“Yes”
“Okay”, he let out a low chuckle and took a step closer to you, studying your lips in the meantime. 
“Luke?”, you looked into his eyes as you spoke.
“Yeah?”, he bored his blue eyes into yours, and placed his hands on your waist, tugging you closer to him.
“Just fuckin’ kiss me already”
“Thought you’d never ask”, he whispered, his voice perfectly husky and seducing. His plump lips found their place on yours and you swore you had never kissed someone like him before. His lips moved swiftly, hungrily against yours.
You tugged his shirt, wanting to get rid of it as soon as possible. 
“Luke?”, you asked, out of breath.
“Yeah?”, he wiped his mouth with his hand, and you couldn’t help but stare at the man’s mouth. The mouth that you wanted to do incredible things to you.
“What are we doing?”.
“What do you want to do princess?”, his voice was heavy, and hoarse. And so god-damn sexy. He moved a few stray hairs out of your face.
“Fuck…”, you cursed.
“...me?”, Luke smirked.
You were totally gone off the rails, so whipped for him, there was no going back now.
“Actually, yeah”, you decided to toss logic aside, and once again, Luke placed his lips hungrily on yours. You kissed him back passionately and he grabbed your ass under your skirt. You wrapped your hands around his neck, and felt the need to do such things to Luke you could never say out loud. 
“Jump”, he groaned between the rough yet lustful kisses and you jumped into his lap. He grabbed you by your outer thighs and placed you on the counter. He left wet kisses on your neck, leaving you wondering why you hadn’t done this sooner with him. Maybe it was the fact you had known this man for years, and he had never shown you any sign of interest. But it didn’t matter now, he clearly wanted you.
“Is this okay?”, he reassured you.
“You’re perfect”, you sighed and stared at the beautiful man in front of you. Yes, you had always thought Luke was hot, but this was something else. You loved how soft and assertive he was at the same time. This was dangerous, anyone could see you two. But you liked it this way. You didn’t want to think, you just wanted him. You craved him. You needed him.
His lips found their way back to yours and you bit his lower lip by accident. You felt Luke giggling against your lips, and you couldn’t help but do the same. 
“Can I take this off?”, he asked between the kisses as he was holding the fabric on your shirt. “Please”. And he does, leaving your chest area covered by your black bra. You started to unbutton his shirt and when you were done, he threw the white collar shirt on the floor next to yours. 
Luke traveled kisses from the side of your face to your neck, then to your chest. “Fuck, you’re so hot”, he remarked and you chuckled slightly as a response. Luke kissed you, and you kissed him, sliding your tongue into his mouth. You made out for a while until he decided to move the strap of your bra over your shoulder. He placed a few kisses on your shoulder, and you didn’t understand how he did it all this, being this fucking good at everything, but you enjoyed the show. 
“Need to get my fishnets off”, you whimpered under his touch. 
He ripped open your fishnets using his hands, and you swore to yourself you hadn’t seen anything as hot as that. You lifted your body using your hands on the counter so he could take the remains of the stockings off. And when he was done, he nibbled your ear and his heavy breathing made you squirm. 
“Finger me?”, you asked as his lustful ocean eyes stared into yours. “It’d be my pleasure”, he smirked, pushing your lingerie to the side and pushing two fingers into you with the perfect amount of pressure.
“Fuck, you are so wet…so good, Y/N”, he remarked huskily and moved his fingers inside you in swift motion. You widened your legs so he’d get a better entrance. “Mmmmh”, you whimpered, your head tilted back and eyes closed. Luke trailed down kisses from your neck to your chest. You opened your eyes and his lips crashed into yours. 
“Need you to fuck me, Luke”, you whispered into his mouth. “Believe me, I will. Just wanna make you cum first”, he whispered and kissed you. And in under a minute, you were a whimpering mess under his touch, him giving you a smug look. You swore you just saw the stars, no one had ever known your body like him. And it didn’t make any sense, this was the first time being with him. But it didn’t have to make sense, you were now with him and god, he made you feel incredibly good. 
His fingers left your entrance and his lustful dark eyes met yours again. He brought his fingers into his mouth and sucked on them, still holding the eye contact.
”Baby, you taste so good... Fuckin’ incredible”, he mumbled.
”Fuck…”, you whimpered as you were still coming off your high and watching Luke taste you did not help to urge to feel him inside of you. Neither did the fact that you noticed his boner through his dark dress pants. What was this man doing to you?
“Wanna go to my bedroom?”, he suggested, and placed a strand of your hair behind your ear, giving you a small lingering kiss on your collarbone.
“Thought you’d never ask”.
You both grabbed your clothes from the floor and you went upstairs. In the upstairs hallway, Luke couldn’t resist but pin you against the wall, kissing your face like he had never kissed before. You grabbed his erected dick under his dress pants and stroked it slightly above the material, making Luke whimper. “Y/N…”, he started yet couldn’t finish the sentence.
“Mmmh? Tell me?”, you asked as you started to unbuckle his belt.
“Mmmmh, don’t tease me, Y/N”
“That’s bold of you since you started it...”, you pointed out.
“Mmmhhh…fuck, that’s true. Let’s go before I fuck you against this wall and everyone will hear it”, he gave you a quick peck on your lips, leaving you wanting for more. You didn't know Luke could be this smug, but it definitely turned you on.
Luke led you to his bedroom. You placed yourself on his California King, and looked around. You had never been in Luke’s bedroom. A few paintings hung on the dark -painted walls, a vintage record player rested on the dressing table and the TV across the bed covered most of the wall space.
Luke retrieved a condom from his wallet, which was resting on his night-stand and pulled down both his pants and boxers, revealing his hardened dick. In the meanwhile you got rid of your skirt, and underwear. He placed the condom on and you couldn't help but admire the sight in front of you. Luke tossed both his pants and boxers off to the floor. He placed his body on top of you, kissing you and making the kiss deeper as you slid your tongue into his mouth. Your tongues danced together and your anticipation for the following grew, even though you had gone through your high already. But maybe, just maybe, he could make you come twice. His lips parted from yours, and he looked into your eyes, his fingers traveling along your lips.
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“You’re so damn beautiful”. 
“You’re fuckin’ beautiful too”, you answered, your need for him growing.
“You ready?”.  You nodded and he slipped into you slowly as you kissed his neck. You detached your lips from his neck and tugged his hair, your hands exploring the softness of his curls. A few moans escaped from both of your mouths. How could he make moaning sound so damn good? 
“Please keep on going”.
"Was planning on doing so, princess".
He thrusted into you, and your walls clenched against him. You saw him biting his lip, his eyes wide open, clearly enjoying the view of you. “Fuck, you are perfect. So tight around me.... So good”, he praised.
This would probably never happen again, so you decided to make the most of it.
You met his lips in a kiss and you slipped your tongue into his mouth, his own meeting with yours. His thrusts became quicker and you both moaned of pleasure. Your hands had moved to his upper back, your nails scratching the warm skin.
And when you both came undone, you cleaned yourselves up and laid in his bed. You both stared at the bedroom ceiling. Luke had asked you to stay, which had surprised you. 
“I held myself back when you kissed me in the game”, the blonde confessed. You looked at Luke, whose left arm was leaning against the back of his head. Only now you noticed his bird tattoo on his bicep. You couldn’t see it properly in the dim lightning, but you were guessing it was a hummingbird. To be honest, there probably were a lot of things you didn’t know about him.
“Did you?”, you asked in a rather suggestive voice, and turned your body towards him under the covers.
“Well, yeah, have you seen yourself? Fuckin’ beautiful. I wanted to rip those fishnets off you the moment I saw you in them”, he chuckled and his eyes met yours.
You couldn’t help but feel flustered. Luke Hemmings, of all the people in the world, thought you were…beautiful?
“In that case, I’m happy I decided to wear them”, you giggled.
“I can buy you a new pair of fishnets”, he offered.
“You really don’t need to do that”.
“If that gives me an excuse to see you, then I’d like to”, you saw an endearing smile appear on his face.
“What if you break them too?”, you chuckled, not that you wouldn’t mind him doing that.
“Then I’d have another excuse to see you again”, he reasoned, and shuffled closer to you. You didn’t know if it was still the alcohol clouding your judgement, but you liked him. Maybe a bit more than you wanted to. 
“Seems like you want it to be a pattern”, you suggested.
“Well, if it makes you scream like earlier…”, he smirked and took you in his arms, your face squished against his warm and toned chest. “Luke!”, you screamed into his chest.
“Hush hush now, everyone is asleep”, he kissed the top of your head, and chuckled.
“Sorry”, you giggled and wrapped your hand around his waist, snuggling closer to him. Your face rested against his chest, and he stroked your hair gently.
"Good night beautiful", he reached for your lips and planted a small kiss on them, then turning off the bedside lamp. "Good night, Luke".
—❦
“Quit starin’ at me princess”, Luke spoke with his eyes closed as you lied with him in his enormous California King bed. 
“I can’t, you’re way too pretty”, you played with his curls, both of your naked bodies under the same duvet.
You had been awake for a while now, mainly going over the memories of last night. Luke’s lips pressed against yours, his hands grabbing the sides of your body, him whispering sweet nothings into your ear as he was inside of you.  You had contemplated leaving Luke’s house, but you didn’t want to do it to Luke. And the change in Luke’s behavior towards you made you question his motives. He even let you sleep in his bed, and didn’t want you to leave to your room. Did he actually like your company? Or was he just lonely?
You removed your hand from his set of curls, and wondered what it must be like to be that beautiful. It was unfair how good-looking he was.
“Talk to me about pretty, huh?”, he opened up his eyes and scanned your face. “Hush”, you gave him a deadly glare and he grinned back at you.
“Tell me when did you get so freaking hot?”, you asked him.
“Haven’t I always been?”, he winked and readjusted the pillows on the bed, his face and body now towards yours. 
“Yeah, but I mean…like this hot. Ridiculously hot. So hot I want to jump into your lap”
“Now you’re just makin’ a fool out of me”
“Am not! I promise”, you exclaimed. “I swear when I saw you last night, something happened inside of me. This lust, I guess…I don’t know what the hell it was”
“Well, thank you. Good to hear I don’t look like an absolute knobhead”, he rolled his eyes, and letting out a chuckle.
“And he’s funny too”, you giggled.
“C’mere”, he motioned you into his embrace and you laid there for a moment in silence, taking in the moment. This silence felt comfortable in some odd way. His fingers brushed gently against yours, moving to cup your face, his mouth telling you compliments you never expected to come from his mouth. You’re gorgeous. Your eyes are pretty as hell. I like cuddling you. You smiled back at him, not really knowing what to answer.
“So this wasn’t a one time thing?”, you decided to break the newly founded silence.
“Nope. If that’s okay with you?”, Luke searched for your approval from your softened eyes, and you gave him that. “More than okay”, you smiled. You looked for something in his eyes. Maybe a hidden truth. You were his friend, but you didn’t know him truly. You did not really have an idea who he was deep in his core. But your instinct told you to find out.
"Good. Did you actually like my Halloween costume or were you just being polite?", Luke hummed, and placed his head into the crook of your neck.
"I thought you looked hot. And so dreamy... So yes Luke, I liked it", you beamed, and pecked his lips. "A lot", you added and caressed his pretty curly hair.
"You were a pretty dreamy Ginny yourself", he placed his mouth on your neck, sucking on the skin slightly, then placing a few sloppy kisses on your jawline. His breath started to become noticeably heavier, and you giggled, "Luke Hemmings, you are one hell of a guy".
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After a while of lounging around with Luke, you both decided to do your morning rituals and throw some clothes on. Yeah, you might have hooked up with him again, only in the shower this time, and you felt as if you couldn't keep your hands off the blonde.
You and Luke had decided to go downstairs and cook something for breakfast, and now you waited for him to come out of the bathroom. Luke opened up the bathroom door attached to his bedroom, and you studied his features.
You couldn’t help but smile as he was humming some song you had never even heard of. He had a habit of doing that, making you smile. Or at least that was what he had been doing the past hours. And last night, obviously. He was dressed in a pair of gray sweatpants, which made you drool over him, and a black AC/DC t-shirt. He had also offered you an oversized band t-shirt to wear since your own shirt was a bit uncomfortable to wear. So now you were standing in front of Luke, wearing his oversized t-shirt and barely visible black skirt. You would have never guessed that something like this could actually happen.
“Ready?”, he asked, and you nodded. You were waiting for him to open the door, until he decided to turn around and he grabbed your face into his hands. He pressed a delicate and endearing kiss on your lips.
“Actually, now we’re ready”, he chuckled and finally opened the door. “You dork”, you giggled, the taste of his toothpaste lingering on your lips.
“No one should be up, it’s barely 9am”, Luke commented as you were walking down the stairs. “Yeah, there’s not a chance anyone’s up yet”, you agreed with him and you both walked into the kitchen, only to discover every single person that had stayed at Luke's sitting by the kitchen table. 
“Good morning, Luke and Y/N”, Crystal greeted you two, to which both you and Luke responded.
Luke offered you a glass of water with a side of lemon and ice, after he had convinced you of how the drink makes a great hangover cure. You and Luke found yourself seats by the kitchen table, next to each other since they were the only ones not taken.
"Luke? Y/N?" Ashton opened his mouth.
“We fuckin’ heard you last night”,  Ashton remarked as both you and Luke were caught up in your own worlds. And then you made sense of what Ashton had just said.
...Oh my god, had they really heard all…that? 
Your best friend was sitting next to Ashton, and they were giggling with Ashton’s arm resting behind their chair.
You hadn’t talked this through with Luke. Shit, shit, shit. You hadn’t really even thought about if anyone had heard you last night.
“Oh you are speechless now, is that it?” Ashton giggled, making your friend, Michael, Crystal, Calum and Brandy laugh too.
“We really hope you Luke cleaned up the kitchen afterwards”, Crystal commented. “Just saying”, she added and gave a quick peck to Michael. Michael chuckled, and took turns looking at you, and then Luke.
“I did, don’t you worry about it Crys”, Luke scratched the back of his head, obviously feeling awkward as hell. You cleared your throat, wishing to be anywhere else than being questioned about your little rendezvous with Luke last night.
“And you used a condom?” Ashton asked, making Luke groan. “Of course, you fuckin’ moron”.
“Okaaaay, should we change the subject? Us having sex isn’t the most exciting topic”, you chuckled nervously, avoiding eye contact with everyone. Even the handsome blonde beside you.
“It definitely did sound exciting last night…All the screams and objects fallin’ to the floor, all Y/N’s whimpers and Luke’s -”, Ashton remarked, but was soon interrupted by an annoyed Luke.
“Okay okay, we get it. We were a bit loud. But let’s move on, please”, Luke groaned. 
"I want to hear more details though... Were the kitchen and Luke's bedroom the only places you had sex in?", your best friend took apart in the conversation, grinning from ear to ear. Y/B/F/N had to be kidding. And were the walls of Luke's house made of paper? "Yes", you answered in turn, trying to sound as convincing as you could. They didn't need to know about the shower session an hour ago.
”It was no wonder you ended up sleeping together, I mean you were drooling over each other the whole night”, Michael continued, and chuckled.
”You’ve got to be fuckin’ kidding me right now”, Luke cursed, obviously wanting the conversation topic to change sooner than later.
“Calm down, Hemmings”, Calum chuckled, earning a side eye from you and a deadly glare from Luke. “Okay, okay, I won’t say anythin’ next time”, Calum put his hands up in defense and grinned awkwardly. 
You looked at Luke only to discover him looking at you, a small smile creeping upon his pretty pink lips. Next time.
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a/n: hey please do share your thoughts on the gifs, did they disturb your reading experience? i’d love to know, ty! 🤍
© 2023 bloodhoundluke.
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cheriladycl01 · 1 month
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I'm not scared! Colby Brock x MotoGPDriver! Reader Part 1
Plot: You made a tweet about Sam and Colby and were in a podcast and they brought up Sam and Colby where you talked about the paranormal and how it doesn't really scare you because you drive motorcycles at over 200mph.
A/N: This has been sat in my drafts for a while coz i was kinda scared to post it, coz its a new reach of people I'm looking for.
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It started off with a silly little tweet you'd made in the summer break when you werent racing. You didn't feel like watching old F1 or MotoGP races and there was no movie that immedielty came to mind.
So you scrolled through youtube. At first it was a documentary about the ocean, and you had to switch it out. Which is how you came across a channel called Sam and Colby, two American boys who... well you didn't actually think they had a 'thing:
Your YouTube consisted solely of vlogs and car/bike videos that you did. That was your niche. However these two didn't seem to have a specific niche, you perused them seeing that they vlogged and did challenges and prank video and even back in the day were part of vine.
The most recent things they'd been sticking too by the looks of things were these paranormal investigations. They went to these haunted places with cool gear and filmed the experience. You were very intruiged as the paranormal was something you'd believed in just never interacted with.
After watching them bring people on, and be scared shitless you knew you'd boss something like this.
You were alone in your house, drinking which is where the tweet actually came from.
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There was a lot of action from both fans of motorsport and YouTube fans. You of course got some hate from the tweet from the YouTube side and hence started the fued between your fans and Colby and Sam fans.
It wasn't until the podcast you went on that the duo took notice of you.
"So today I'm here in the studio with Y/N, now this I think is an intertsing podcast for both of us, because you've only been on Motorsport related ones so far correct?"
"Yes" you smile nodding. You'd actually been on a few podcasts as you really enjoyed talking to people and hearing their stories and being able to talk about your own experiences and hardships.
You started of with the generic motorsport questions, that were all angled at you being a woman in motorsport. Which you enjoyed as you knew getting to the position you had now was a hard hard feat you managed to overcome.
He then got onto more general questions about you life, which again you were happy to answer.
"I do have something that people asked me to ask when we first annouced you here and that was about the tweet with Sam and Colby?" he says looking to his notepad making sure he was keeping in his order.
"Mmmm, what about it?" you smile knowing this was going to be a thing.
"So you basically said along the lines of, if you were in a Sam and Colby video that you wouldn't be scared, why is that?" he asks tilting his head to the side.
"Well, not much scares me when i drive motorbikes at roughly 250 kmph. You know, I've come off those bikes and had my life flash before my eyes as I go into the barrier. One of my worst crashes nearly killed me, but I got back on the bike, one I healed and I won my first race back in Lusial. As part of the Red Bull family I've helped them with some crazy challanges, beat Max Verstappen in an F1 car and lots more. So i think it would genuinely take a lot to scare me!" you smile explaining your thought process behind your tweet and how you think you'd genuinely react.
"So I'm guessing you'd be like down to collab with them at some point!" he asks.
"Yeah of course, I know these things take time to plan so obviously you know with both our busy schedules it probably wouldn't be anytime soon, but you never know!" you grin and after a few more questions before the podcast ends.
It was around a week later, you were in your home gym getting some weight training in when a message dings up. You stop the current exercise your doing to check it.
It was an instagram DM from the Sam and Colby official account. You click on the notification to go onto the chat to look at what they'd messaged you.
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Of course you immedielty replied. You exchanged numbers with both the boy's before Colby made a group chat asking when you were free.
It was harder to find times than you expected, the next time you all would be free was during your winter break from racing. Which was risky to confirm anything, especially to their fans as anything could happen to you in that time.
You agreed on a date and time to tell your fans.
The next step was you inviting them to a race weekend, you wanted to meet them but obviously didn't have much time between races. So you invited them to your home race at Silverstone in the United Kingdom.
They decided to make it a whole thing, where they explored some haunted places across England after coming to see you at your race.
You decided to meet them at the airport first and you couldn't hold in your nerves to meet them, you never had the best people skills which is probably why you went into the career path that you did.
You waited for them in the arrivals area, it wasn't too busy due to the time of the day, just a few business men in suits. You looked around for a board to see when their plane had landed, but could find one.
"Y/N?" you hear from behind you.
A/N: I don't know what the fandom's like on here, but I just like writing about cool situations that help with writers block for writing my book! If you follow me for F1 and General Motorsports this is me branching out my writing into another hyper fixation of mine that’s been around for a while!
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yuujispinkhair · 9 months
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This idea just came up in my head while watching a movie, what if you and Yuji are watching a scary movie. Yuji purposely put on a horror theme for the classic “girl gets scared and cuddles with boyfriend” trick. But he ends up getting instead from a jumpscare causing him to grab the your leg(or thigh 👀) outta fear but unintentionally. When he realizes he apologizes. However when the reader notices how frightened Yuji got, she decides to help comfort him with some kisses and affection to also distract him from the movie. 🥰❤️🩷❤️🩷❤️
Awww, he is such a cutie!! Thank you so much for sending me this!!
Pairing: Yuuji x Reader (gender-neutral) Genre: Fluff + smut Word Count: 600 Warnings: 18+, a bit smutty, mentions of sex. All characters are of age. Minors don't interact.
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Yuuji is a bit embarrassed by his reaction. Because, after all, isn't he the guy with superhuman strength who is supposed to be your hero who always protects you? But here he is, jumping at a horror movie. And not even a good one! Yuuji feels his cheeks burn with a blush.
Luckily, you snuggle into his arms and capture his lips in a long, sweet kiss while slipping into his lap. And Yuuji wraps his arms around you and kisses you back enthusiastically, hoping you will forget about his little moment of weakness.
But he was wrong. When you finally pull away from the kiss, you cup his face with both hands, so sweet and gentle, and look at him with a worried expression,
"Are you okay again, baby? We should watch a funny movie afterward."
Yuuji cringes, feeling his cheeks burn again. He scratches his neck and smiles sheepishly at you while his mind is trying to come up with a good explanation.
"Yeah, I'm okay. I wasn't scared… I am just… um… vigilant!"
You stare at him for a long moment. Yuuji can't help but think how cute you look, straddling his lap and watching him with that baffled expression on your pretty face. He wants to kiss you all night. And he is about to do that when you suddenly burst out laughing.
"Vigilant? Oh, I see. You thought that thing on the TV was about to attack me? That's why you grabbed my thigh like that? My hero."
Yuuji is about to complain loudly, stumbling over his words, trying to find a more believable excuse, but his attempt gets silenced by your soft lips, once again capturing his in a kiss.
He can feel your smile against his mouth and hear your little giggles between kisses, which turn into happy sighs when Yuuji takes control of the kiss and slowly flicks his tongue against yours.
This time, he makes sure you will stop thinking about the little scene earlier. You sound so cute when you gasp when Yuuji flips you onto your back and lies on top of you, pressing you down into the bed with his heavy body, attacking your lips with more sweet kisses.
And you sound even sweeter when you moan his name a few minutes later, when your clothes are strewn all over the bed, and your naked bodies writhe needily against each other while on the TV screen, the ending credits of the stupid horror movie roll.
You surely don't think about movies anymore when your eyes roll back and your legs wrap tightly around Yuuji's hips while he pushes into you with strong, deep thrusts.
An hour later, the two of you are cuddling under the warm blanket, still naked, basking in the afterglow of your lovemaking while watching another movie. This time a rom-com you picked.
Yuuji smiles happily against your neck, pressing a tender kiss to your skin and tightening his arms around your body as he snuggles against you from behind.
He blinks when you suddenly murmur,
"Hey, Yuuji?"
"Hmm, yeah, cutie?"
"You are really my hero. You know that, right? I was just teasing you. I was so scared by that movie that I was frozen in place… and I was so grateful when you grabbed my thigh and gave me an excuse to climb into your lap and kiss you."
And now Yuuji is the one who laughs. His strong arms hug you even tighter as he informs you in a happy voice,
"You never need an excuse to kiss me, baby. I am all yours, always."
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HE MAKES ME SO HAPPY!!! Thank you so much for sending me this sweet prompt!! I hope you liked my little drabble.
Comments and reblogs would be sweet 💗💗
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soulfireblue · 2 months
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i have so many thoughts about phil and sunny and tubbo and this is going under a read more because it got really long lol
disclaimer that i don't watch phil super often! i watch qsmp with a crow friend who keeps me updated on his streams, so he's probably one of the characters i'm most familiar with outside of tubbo, but that's obviously not quite the same as me directly watching his streams. also this is only my interpretation and understanding of the characters, of course!
Phil is a bit of a hermit and doesn't know the other eggs that well; Chayanne and Tallulah are actually more social than their dad is. There are very few people on this island that Phil is actually close to, and Tubbo is one of them. That's kind of a double-edged sword when it comes to Phil's relationship with Sunny.
Phil kind of tends to extrapolate his relationship with Tubbo onto Sunny, because he doesn't know her well enough to realize that what works for him and Tubbo is not going to work for him and Sunny. It becomes a cycle, because Phil unknowingly does or says something that hurts Sunny, and then Sunny avoids being alone with him, so he doesn't get to know her well enough to realize that the way he treats Tubbo is not how Sunny wants or needs to be treated.
This sets up a really interesting conflict and character dynamic here, especially because Tubbo is also extrapolating his own relationship with Phil onto Sunny. He doesn't really understand that Sunny has issues with Phil, because when he and Sunny are with Phil, he's usually focused more on his own interactions with Phil and the godkids' than Sunny's. Plus it's not like Tubbo and Sunny are often with Phil alone; usually Chayanne and Tallulah are there too, and there's not much reason for Sunny to be needing to interact with Phil one-on-one.
And while Sunny has told Tubbo a little bit about how they feel with Phil, he's also observed them having issues with Tallulah, Leo, and even Richas now, and he's also watched those issues clear up. There's no reason for Tubbo to assume that her issues with Phil are any different. The nature of Tubbo's role as a buffer between Sunny and Phil means that he hasn't been able to observe the interactions that caused the problem. If Tubbo's there, Tubbo's the one they're both interacting with more just due to the fact that he's more present in both of their lives.
But here's the thing with Phil being a hermit. The issue isn't just his relationship with Tubbo; it's also that his children always come first. We've seen that even before we met Sunny. He was completely convinced that he had to win Purgatory because no one would be looking out for his kids except himself, not realizing that the leader of Soulfire was trying to get back the exact same eggs. For Phil, it's extremely black and white.
And so when he's alone with Sunny, when he's looking at her as an egg rather than as Tubbo's daughter, he puts his kids first. He's happy to do whatever he can to help. He collected items for cookies for all of the eggs on the island for a reason! He cares a lot about the eggs, even from a distance. He's just not the type of person to wait to feed his kids until the other kids are fed too, because his first priority has to be Chayanne and Tallulah.
But his limit is anything that could put his own family at risk. Which is understandable! He has two kids to look out for. But Phil is extremely pragmatic, and so he tells Sunny exactly the truth. She can stay with him, but his kids come first. Tallulah has been hurt, so her feelings come first. He's very good at making sure his kids are taken care of, and he's very good at weighing the risks, and he's honest about it once he has.
Which would maybe be perfectly fine for some other eggs, but the thing is, Phil doesn't know Sunny. He's treating her the exact opposite of the way she needs to be treated, but he doesn't know her well enough to realize it. He's spent a lot of time around her without actually getting to know her, because there's always that Tubbo and Chayanne buffer. So he doesn't realize that they don't need to be treated the way he treats Tubbo. She needs to be treated the way he treats Tallulah. They need to be told that it's okay to feel scared and abandoned, and that they are loved, and that someone will always be there for them.
(Chayanne does realize that. He's a very good godbrother.)
I hope someday Phil will get to know Sunny better and realize better ways to communicate with her, though I do understand that there will always be the issue of his kids coming first, while Sunny desperately needs people who put her first. (And gosh, how awful must it have been for them to lose Creation, who called them rank one, and told them they were loved, and then left them just like everybody else.) They'll never have the relationship Tubbo has with Phil's kids, and that's okay. But I hope that Sunny can one day look at Phil and know that she is loved, even if it's not exactly the kind of love she's been searching for.
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djarinslover · 7 months
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Wanna Be Your Girlfriend
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Hii, this is based off the ask *here*. I'm desperate for more Nami fic ideas, so feel free to send asks in. I mean, LOOK at her. She's beautiful and I would die for her. I tried to keep the scene recaps short bc I'm sure mostly everyone has watched the show and don't need to read what happens too. Happy reading!
Pairing; Nami x Fem!Reader (no y/n, no description)
Warnings; canon violence, swearing
Word Count; 2.2k
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You're sitting with Zoro after Zeff helped patch him up. You're the surgeon of the crew but you never had to deal with wounds like the one Zoro was suffering with. It was your first time seeing a wound like that. You mainly dealt with bruises, cuts, scrapes and the occasional broken bone back home in your village. Nami wanders in, her brow furrowed in concern.
"Hey, how are you doing?" she asks.
"Me?" You turn to look at her. "I'm fine. It's Zoro we should be worrying about."
"I can worry about both of you."
You feel your face grow hot. Ever since you joined Luffy's crew, you've developed a crush on the redheaded navigator. You thought she was a badass, kind (when she wanted to be) and a cool person to be around. You wanted to know everything about her, wanted to be around her constantly. But to make sure you didn't come off as a lovesick puppy, you steered clear of spending too much time with Nami. She probably didn't even feel the same way and there was no sense in trying to encourage the crush when you had to spend weeks on a ship with no escape. Unless you wanted to take your chance with the ocean.
"Can I have a minute with him?" Nami interrupts your train of thought.
"Of course!"
You check over Zoro's bandages quickly before leaving the room in search of Luffy or Usopp. Zoro was the only one who knew about the crush you had. That was simply because he caught you rehearsing what you would say to Nami during literally any interaction. He was good at keeping his mouth shut, so if you had to wish one of them caught you, you were glad it was him. Luffy and Usopp wouldn't be able to make it past dinner before they let something slip.
You wander from the ship back onto the dock just to see Luffy being thrown through the door of the restaurant. In shock, you watch as Arlong stomps towards him. Fear gripped your limbs as you watched the two fight. You couldn't do anything - you were a doctor, not a fighter! As Arlong goes to sink his teeth into Luffy's neck, Nami's voice calls out.
"Arlong, wait!"
She marches past without even looking at you. You watch as she walks towards the fishman, map of the Grand Line in hand. "I have it. I have the map. I got it for you, just like I said I would."
"Nami. What are you doing?" Luffy pants out.
"I tried to tell you, Luffy. I was never on your crew. I only joined up with you so I could steal the map."
You feel like everything goes silent as her words hit your ear. The world spins around you, making you nauseous as Nami walks to Arlong's ship. Arlong throws Luffy into the ocean, casting you a glance before following the redhead to his ship. You're torn between going after Nami and jumping in to get Luffy. Both moments pass you by as the ship sets sail and Sanji jumps in to save your captain. He heaves him onto the dock as you snap out your stupor and rush to help.
Luffy lifts his head as he asks, "Where's Nami?"
"She's gone. She's a member of Arlong's crew," Usopp answers.
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An hour later, after setting sail, you're sitting in the galley staring at your hands. You couldn't wrap your head around what had just happened. No way Nami went with Arlong. No way she betrayed you and the rest of the crew. No way she was only on the ship to just to steal a map. You didn't want to believe she had been lying the entire time you knew her, that she didn't care for you. For the crew.
Luffy comes in with Usopp, Sanji and Zoro followeing close behind, his usual grin on his face. You eye him skeptically, frown deepening as he walks to the table you're sitting at.
"What are you possibly smiling about? Nami left us!"
"Don't worry about that. We're going to get her back. We can't go to the Grand Line without all of our crew."
"What?" You shoot to your feet. "You mean it?"
"Of course. A good pirate captain never lets a member of his crew stay behind."
Your throat feels tight and your eyes burn with the threat of tears. Luffy was going to get Nami back. You couldn't ask for a better captain. Straightening up, you look him in the eye. "Thank you, Luffy."
"So, we're going after Nami. How are we going to find her?" Usopp asked.
"Yeah, we don't even know where she is," Zoro chimed in.
"I know someone who does." He slams a bag onto the table, causing whatever was in it to groan. He opened it, presenting Buggy the clown's head. You jolt back in disgust.
"Hello, boys!" the clown head cheers, giggling.
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You end up in Coco Village to look for Nami, according to Buggy that's where Arlong and his crew lived. You follow Luffy to where Nami is talking to a villager, looking for the ransom money the fishman is owed for the month. When she turns around to find the five of you standing there, she hesitates. You feel your heart speed up - you were unsure if it was because of the betrayal you felt or the longing of wanting to be with Nami.
"Luffy? What are you doing here?"
"I could ask you the same thing."
"This is where I belong."
"I don't believe that," Luffy says. "This is not you."
"No. This isn't the me you want me to be," Nami spits out.
"Nami . . . if you need our help-"
"No. I don't need any of you."
Her eyes linger on you for a moment too long that makes you sick. You would've cut your heart out for her before if she asked. Now she's here saying she doesn't want you.
"I never want to see you again." Her eyes once more meet yours before she turns and walks away, taking your shattered heart with her.
You numbly follow Luffy to the house on the edge of the tangerine grove. You barely processed Nami leaving you in the first place, now you had to deal with her never wanting to see you again. Were all those little moments you had with her fake? Nothing more than an act? You didn't want to believe it, that your feelings were completely one-sided.
In the house at the end of the tangerine grove Nojiko, Nami's sister, invites you in after being promised a meal from Sanji. She told you what happened to their mother when they were young and why she, and the town, hated Nami. You began to understand why she betrayed you; you may have even done the same thing if you were in the same situation. Instead of staying angry at Nami, you directed that rage to Arlong and the rest of his crew for exploiting Nami's pain.
After helping Sanji do the dishes, everyone rushes outside when you heard commotion. Nami was stabbing herself in the arm before Luffy grabbed her arm. The two spoke for a while, you itching to bandage Nami's cuts. In front of you, the small town of Coco Village was on fire thanks to Arlong.
"Let's go," Luffy rasps.
"Right!" the four of you chime.
You run to Nami's side with bandages, cleaning the cuts before she even realizes what you're doing. She flinches when she finally notices you, trying to inch her arm out of your grasp. You grip her arm ever so slightly roughly to make sure she doesn't move it more.
"You shouldn't even be doing this for me."
"Why? You're injured. It's my job to help."
"But I was such an ass to all of you," Nami whispers. "Especially to you."
"None of that matters. Your sister told us what happened to your mother. I forgive you, Nami."
Fresh tears sparkle in her beautiful eyes. You brush them away with a soft touch to her cheek, finishing wrapping her arm with the gauze and then helping her stand. "Let's go kick some fish ass."
Storming the park as the sun rises, you help Zoro and Sanji fight the pirates trying to protect 'Arlong Park'. It was surprisingly satisfying to punch several of them in the face.
"Damn, Doc," Zoro whistles. "Remind me to never piss you off."
"For someone who swore she doesn't to hurt others, you're doing well," Sanji comments.
"Yeah, well . . . they hurt someone I care about. It becomes personal then."
You notice the smirk Zoro throws you but refuse to acknowledge it. When you see Nami speeding down the hill, your heart jumps to your throat. She crashes into Usopp and Zoro first, panting, "I'm so glad you're okay."
She lets them go, turning to you to smile her bright beautiful smile. "I'm glad you're okay, too."
"Me, too. Uh . . . I mean, you too. I mean-" You sigh, biting your tongue.
Suddenly, the ground rumbles. The building that Luffy was still in was falling down. With a gasp, Nami grabs your hand tightly, lacing your fingers together. You could barely enjoy the moment through fearing for Luffy's safety once more. But the fear wasn't needed; your rubbery captain was fine as per usual. You squeeze Nami's hand in relief.
Later, after the confrontation with Luffy's grandfather, you're sitting next to Nami by a fire. "Lots of excitement today, huh?" you say.
"Yeah. I'm going to sleep for a week after all this," she answers.
Swallowing, you decide it's now or never. "Nami, I wannabeyourgirlfriend," you rush out.
"I'm . . . sorry?"
"I want to be your girlfriend."
She looks at you in surprise, making your cheeks flare with heat. What if you just made an absolute fool of yourself in front of her and now you have to deal with the consequences for the rest of your life on that damned ship?
Nami must've known you were in your head because she places a hand on your cheek to bring your gaze back to hers. She has the bright smile on her face. "I thought you'd never say anything. Usopp owes me twenty Berry."
"You placed a bet on when I'd ask you? Wait, when did you even know?"
"I've liked you for a while now. I just didn't want to say anything because I knew what I was going to have to do." She shrugged. "I didn't want to hurt you. Then when Usopp asked when I thought you would confess, I figured it had to be obvious I liked you, too. Guess it just took a dickhead fishman to make you see, huh?"
You laugh, utterly overjoyed with the fact that Nami likes you too. She likes you and wants to be with you. "I guess so. But hey, at least I finally got there, right?"
She nudges you with a laugh. "Right." Nami's gaze softens as she looks at you. "Meet me in the morning? There's someone I want you to meet."
"Sure."
The next morning, you meet Nami outside the entrance of the hut you slept in. She took your hand with a grin, leading you to a part past the tangerine grove. There was a large tree with a stake next to it, the name Belle Mere carved into it. You look at your new girlfriend curiously. She blushes.
"This is my mom. I wanted to bring you here. Two of the most important women in my life."
Tears burn in the corner of your eyes as you look down at the grave. You take her hand, running your thumb softly over hers. "I'm so glad you wanted to introduce us." You direct your next sentence to Belle. "You raised an incredible, amazing daughter. I hope you're immensely proud of her."
Nami is staring at you with stars in her eyes, squeezing your hand. She brings you closer to her until you're standing pressed against one another. She cups your face with her free hand, eyes darting all over your face, brushing a stray tear off your cheek. You felt the tension swell, anxiety building up in your chest until you say -
"Kiss me."
Nami swoops in, leaning down to press her lips to yours. The bliss you feel is blinding as you finally get to kiss her. It's soft, sweet, everything you imagined it would be. When you part, you're both breathless. You meet her piercing gaze.
"You're not leaving again, are you?" you ask.
She brings your intwined hands up to her lips, kissing the back of your hand. "If I ever leave, you're coming with me. But no, I'm not leaving. Not until we find the One Piece."
The two of you share one more kiss, giddiness filling each step you take back to the ship.
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Note
Will you write about Y/N teasing Hero is Back Wukong about basically being Liuer's dad. He's just so protective and fatherly to this little boy and yea, he's still has a sour personality but it always makes me squeal when I see them interact!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️
I'm one of those who can't stand how annoying Liuer, but I tried. Hope you enjoy! Thank you so much for the request.
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You lost count on how long it’s been since your husband, Sun Wukong, was released from The Mountain Of Five Elements, and the events of the mountain trolls went and passed. You never expected anything like it, but the Great Sage Equal to Heaven… had companions. You didn't know why the pig still followed you, but Liuer and his Shifu were more than welcome. 
It's not that you hated the pig… well, kind of, but it mostly had to do with the fact that he tried to send your husband to the afterlife. 
“Great Sage? How many-” Liuer’s voice snapped you out of your thoughtless daydream and made you focus on the group walking ahead of you.
“A lot,” was Wukong’s lame reply to the boy’s question. Of course that wasn't a satisfactory answer to the overly curious young monk. 
“But what about (Y/n)? Isn't she?”
What are they talking about? You wanted to ask, but you knew that once you asked, you’d regret it.
“No, that's different,” he said, which made you even more curious about what Liuer was asking the Monkey King about. “Why are you only asking me? She's right there, go ask her yourself.”
“But she said you would be able to explain things better than she ever could,” Liuer stated, repeating what you had told him… which made your husband look back at you with a glare you smiled at. 
You pretended not to hear what was being said, but Wukong knew that when you paid attention, you could hear him whisper from a mile away with your advanced sense of hearing. You thought it was absolutely adorable how the two interacted, like an unexpected father to his newly found adopted son. You had thought many times of how Wukong would be as a father, since you knew him best and saw past his flaws.
As his wife, you knew Sun Wukong like the back of your hand, and you sided with him through everything. You even sided with him when he went against the Heavens, that's how much you loved your Monkey King. As such, you know when he doesn't like something… and you never get that feeling where Liuer is concerned. 
Annoyance, sure, of course annoyance. He is often very annoyed by the boy, but you never got that sense that he’d want to hurt or leave the child. Sure… maybe he’s tried to get rid of the kid before, but when he gave up doing that, you could see that was when he started to get attached to the annoying human monk. 
“Adorable,” you snickered to yourself. 
“Hey,” you looked at Wukong hearing his shout. 
How’d they get so far ahead? I need to stop daydreaming before I lose them. You thought to yourself.
“Hm?” you smiled a bit seeing he was looking at you. 
“Why are you walking so slow? Hurry up,” he called for you. Translation: ‘He’s talking too much again and I won’t endure this alone.’
“So, so adorable,” you shook your head with a smile, but walked a bit faster in order to catch up with the men and little boy. It was only then that you noticed exactly where you were and you couldn't help but smile at the memories that came back to you.
“Great Sage, have you ever been to the temple before?” Liuer asked as he saw how happy the Monkey King seemed all of a sudden.
“A few times,” Wukong stated as you caught up to him. “It’s an important place,”
“Really?” Liuer looked up at your husband in amazement before he tilted his head curiously. “How come?”
“It’s where I met (Y/n),” he looked at you with a small smile as he subtly held onto your pinky gently and caressed it. This man just knew all the right things to make your heart want to leap out of your chest. “And where we got married.” 
“Wow,” Liuer said as he walked between you both. Wukong was quick to lift your hand so he wouldn't have to let you go as the clueless child walked past you both to walk a few feet ahead where Shifu and Pigsy were.
“So, papa Sunny,” you tried to say seriously, but couldn't help but snicker. 
“What?” he looked at you with a raised brow, but shook it off.
“Papa Sunny,”
“Stop that,” he looked at you, unamused.
“What do you mean, papa Sunny?” you tilted your head as you gaze at him with an innocent look, but you couldn't help the laugh. Wukong looked at you with narrowed eyes that questioned your sanity.
“Have you been drinking?” He raised a brow.
“No, you idiot. I'm just admiring how good of a dad you are,”
“Dad? What are you talking about? I am nobody's father,” he stated as he walked off, you were quick to follow.
“Of course you are,” you grinned up at the taller primate. 
“No, I'm-” he cut himself off as he stopped walking and turned to look at you. You raised a brow, but when he eyed you from head to toe, and stared from your eyes to your stomach, you blushed profusely. “Are you…?”
“Of course not!” you snapped, placing a hand subconsciously on your stomach. “Are you saying I look bloated?” you questioned him, he rolled his eyes and continued walking. 
“No, I was just asking because you seem to think I’m a father,” he glanced at you with a small smirk. “And you’re my only wife.” The way he emphasized you were his, made your heart beat even faster than seeing him look at you like that. 
“I meant,” you started, jogging a bit to keep pace with him, “since Liuer is technically your kid,”
“What?” he looked at you with narrowed eyes. “You are crazy.”
“Think about it!” you laughed, hugging his arm so he couldn't escape. “He's your mentee, you take care of him and kinda teach him stuff, you feed him-”
“I feed you too,” he looked at you, “does that make you my kid too?”
“Don't get smart,” you huffed. “You're such a good husband and father.”
“I'm not a father,” he said plainly and smirked a bit, “at least not yet.”
“Stop that,” you tried not to be affected, knowing he was just trying to tease you back, but you couldn't help getting flustered. He chuckled, staring ahead at the pig and the child in question.
“You so are, though,” you grinned at him. “There's no shame that you like the kid, why else would the mighty Great Sage take him on in the first place?”
“I wasn't thinking, and I had no choice,” he shook his head, “mostly because he freed me from that mountain.”
“And the journey to get the babies back to their families brought you closer,” you sighed dreamily as you pleased your head against his arm.
“Would you stop that?” he tried to pull away, but you held onto him. “Let go, woman.”
“I don't want to,” you looked up at him with a smart ass smirk, which made him give up with a sigh. 
“I am not his father,” he finalized. 
“Okay,” you gave up, which made him look at you suspiciously.
“Okay?” He raised a brow. 
“Okay,” you gave a nod, looking ahead. He stared at you for a while, not trusting you at that moment. He knew you way better than that, you’d never give up an argument like this so easily… he’ll be keeping a closer eye on you for a while…
Little did he know, that was mostly where he had lost.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It happened when he least expected it, when you guys had just settled down after putting up camp for the night. He couldn't stop caressing your cheek and grooming your hair, things you always thought were absolutely adorable.
“Hey, dad?”
“What is it, Liuer?” he asked before he tensed and looked at Liuer, only to see what looked like Liuer shape-shift back into Pigsy.
“I KNEW IT!” You laughed, holding your stomach as he stared at you with an unamused expression.
“That's not funny,” he said, very unamused.
“Whatever you say,” you couldn't stop snickering at his expense. 
“You know what?” you looked at him just as he dropped the logs and moved towards you.
Uh oh… you immediately sobered up.
“What are you doing?” you chuckled nervously as you backed up three times for every step he took towards you. 
“If you’re so hung up on me being a father, come here,” that made you stop laughing and start running. “Get back here!” he said as he ran after you.
“Nope!” you yelled, not stopping, but your grin said you were still happy… regardless of him threatening to impregnate you and make himself a dad on purpose.
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starcrossedreaders · 11 months
Note
I keep having this idea of a spy x family scenario with leon as loid and y/n as yor.
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Author's note: He literally looks like Loid, I love this idea so much!
Warnings: None!
"You're telling me I need to have a family within a week?"
"I'm sure you can figure it out. Remember we put you on this job for a reason,"
"Yea yea. Condor one out." Leon threw his head back as he tried to think of a way to build a family within his small time lot of 7 days.
He could just lie and say his wife passed in a tragic accident. Although that would be super unethical. Who is Leon kidding, his whole job is unethical.
"So Sherry,"
"Yes Leon?" Sherry shook her head side to side as her feet kicked back and forth while coloring the piece of paper under her.
"How would like to have a mom?" Her head peaked up as she turned to face Leon.
"Like Claire?"
Leon chuckled a little bit, "Maybe not Claire." Although it was a good idea it was too risky, she was too involved in the world.
"hm What about Claire's friend Y/N! I think you two would be cute together,"
"Y/N huh?"
.⋅ ۵♡۵ ⋅.
"Come on Y/N you know how charming Leon is. You guys would get along together so well,"
"I don't know Claire, I don't want to use him."
"You won't be using him if you go to the date I just set up for you guys,"
"YOU WHAT?"
"I'll text you the details, don't be late." Claire skipped off and out of the coffee shop leaving you alone.
"I can't believe her," Shaking your head you looked at your phone to read her text.
'6:30 on 31 E. Washington Dr. at that cute Italian restaurant! Have fun!
Leave it to Claire to set you up on a not so blind date with a very hot guy. You twist and jump around as you tried to zip up your dress. Heaving, you sat down to put on your shoes as you finally got the dress zipped.
.⋅ ۵♡۵ ⋅.
"Alright Sherry, I'll be back before 9 be good for Chris!"
"Of course! Be safe."
Leon closed the door as he prayed he won't come home to a burned down house as he walked to the date Claire set up for him. As he entered the venue, he noticed a captivating figure across the room. Y/N, was an enigmatic woman with a reputation for her exceptional skills in cryptography and intelligence gathering. Your eyes met briefly, and a spark of intrigue flickered between them. Leon couldn't help but feel drawn to you.
Sitting across from you he puts his hand out, "Leon Kennedy,"
Your hand grabs his in a rather firm handshake that catches Leon a little of guard. "Y/N L/N. Nice to meet you."
The night went smoothly, there no was long periods of silence between you two as you guys ended up being the last ones in the restaurant before you were asked to leave. Leon had walked you home, giving you a kiss on your cheek and soft goodnight as he walked himself back home.
In the following days, Leon and you found yourselves crossing paths more frequently. Your encounters were brief, as both of you guys were cautious about revealing your true intentions with one another.
Your interactions soon become very frequent, weather that was running into each other at the grocery store or on the streets. Soon, this led into dating. Sherry and you got along wonderfully. It made you wish that this was your actual happy little family, but deep down you knew you were just covering your tracks for the things you have done.
Leon's and yours investigation eventually intertwined, as you discovered a sinister plot aimed at destabilizing global governments. An international syndicate, working in the shadows, sought to exploit sensitive information and gain control over powerful entities.
As you guys delved deeper in your relationship, your connection grew stronger. The trust you built became an unbreakable bond, an anchor in the dangerous world you guys both had inhabited without one another knowledge.
Eventually, you late nights at the office excuse was useless as you guys found each other in the same spot.
"Leon?"
"Y/N? What are you doing down here?"
"I should be asking you the same thing,"
"I-"
"We can talk about this later okay Leon? For now we have B.O.W.S to kill,"
"Right."
You guys had infiltrated a hidden lair, navigating through a maze of traps and enemies. You guys had worked together flawlessly, relying and using each others strengths to overcome whatever came your way.
When the mission ended successfully you guys had finally let it all out, letting your hearts speak as you confessed to one another.
"So you mean to tell me that you originally only dated me because you were trying not to look like an assassin,"
"Exactly right,"
"But yet, we were working on the same mission for two different people,"
"Seems like it,"
Leon could only shake his head, "Unbelievable,"
You stabbed your fork into your food as you brought it up to your mouth.
"But yet, you still want to date because you...love me?"
Placing your fork down you crossed your arms as you look at Leon. "What's so hard to understand, or do you just like hearing yourself talk?"
Leon clicked his tongue, "Tch, yea right. I'm just trying to make sense of it all, it's a lot to process,"
"I understand. If you don't want to continue our relationship after this I totally understand,"
"NO, no- it's not that,"
"Then what is it?"
"It's just....I'm afraid I'm going to get attached and then lose you..."
Your eyes soften as you listen to Leon pour his heart out to you. Reaching across the table you take his hand into yours as you look in his blue eyes.
"I promise you, you will not lose me not in a million years. You only live once Leon, don't let fear hold you back from living."
From there you guys pledged to support each other through future challenges, your love and trust serving as a beacon of hope in a world threatened by darkness.
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Text
Alexa, play Hey, Jealousy
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This whole scene, Kang is obviously feeling jealous, because Pimfah is listing reasons why she likes Sailom. But! It easily reads as Kang struggling to confront the truth of what she's saying. Because he knows all these things about Sailom, he feels the same way about him, but he hasn't allowed himself to contextualize those feelings as "why I like Sailom".
That reality is why Kang is struggling to maintain his friendly interaction with Sailom after.
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This is pretty straight forward jealousy.
Except that Kang got more upset when Sailom said that he pushed him to the cheerleading thing so that he could have a shot with Pimfah.
Kang thinks he's upset because Pim likes Sailom, but he's also upset because if Pim likes Sailom, then obviously Sailom will date her, she's great, but then Sailom will be dating her. And those feelings are very big and very confusing. Which we see here:
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For Kang, Pim and Sailom dating was the logical conclusion. Sailom is a great guy, and Pim is the best, of course they'll get together.
When they don't, it's a threat to the narrative he's created, where he's jealous of Sailom, not because of Sailom. Where he can put everyone and all his feelings back into little boxes if his two friends just get together like they should. Where he can deal with the blow to his plan to give his dad what he wants, and marry someone who can give him kids, if everyone would just behave like they're supposed to.
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This one is... this is the start of Kang figuring his shit out.
Guy literally rips Sailom away from Kang, and Kang can't even argue that Sailom is his friend, too, because he's very much not been a friend to him, and Sailom is actively keeping his distance.
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Kang arrives with breakfast excited -- his body language is a little nervous, but almost giddy as he runs up the stairs with that cautiously optimistic smile. He's ready to mend fences and probably apologize, and reestablish their friendship (and ignore Sailom's confession, because Kang is Not there yet).
And there's his future best friend in law Guy, taking care of Sailom the way he wants to be, and he's hurt, but he's also angry that he's missed his chance. This is where he's fully aware of the cause of his jealousy.
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THEN! THIS!
THIS BEAUTIFUL SCENE!
Kang's friends are sure he's upset about the seniors being shitty to him and not acknowledging his contribution to the game. They're offering reassurances that he's earned his spot, but Kang hears none of it, because all he can see is Sailom hugging and congratulating Guy, smiling and being happy with Guy.
And here's where it all solidifies.
Where "Sailom works so hard, and he makes me feel like I should work hard, too" and "she likes you (why does that make me so mad)" and "I like you" and "he's my friend" all coalesce, and Kang gets it.
He understands that what he's feeling is romantic interest. That he needs to fix what he broke right now.
Of course, he's still 17/18 and dumb, because what he opens with is this:
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Which like, yeah baby, we know. But that's not the important information from that little revelation. And Sailom, bless his little angry gay heart, rightfully responds with "And? Who tf do you think you are?"
Kang is clearly struggling. Struggling with Sailom's anger, and with finding the right thing to say that will appease him and also be true-- the thing that will quiet the screaming in his heart, because big feelings are not his forte.
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And then Sailom deflates a little, and says "Please, can you just tell me?" and asks tiredly if he's somehow made Kang feel guilty again (because why else would Kang be there, there's nothing between them, right? They're not friends, Kang just feels guilty about how he's treated Sailom, right) And then, Kang knows what to do.
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(it's also Very Interesting to me that in an episode that told so much of its story in flashback montages, the one that we get right when they kiss is "I used to hate it, but I think I'm starting to like it", because despite everything, Kang has never hated Sailom. Dude has been obsessed from the start)
Anyway, this was going to be a funny post with just the pictures of our boy being jealous, and then figuring out why, but obviously I'm not normal about them and this happened. *shrug emoji*
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asgardian--angels · 2 months
Text
Talking on the phone with my mom I finally broke down and cried thoroughly about the cancellation. I think I'd been holding it in for the last two days, or two months. And honestly I've been wondering all along why this show means so much to me. I am not queer, I am not neurodivergent, I am not POC or disabled or any of the groups that this show has been so important for in terms of representation and being treated with respect and dignity. I understand and completely empathize with all of you, and fight for this show and your rights worldwide alongside you, but it still left me wondering why I myself have latched onto Our Flag Means Death. I suppose part of it is that despite being white and cishet and the privileges that have always come with that, I have been treated like an outsider and ostracized my entire childhood and teenage years, for being ugly and having "disgusting" interests (primarily liking insects, reptiles, other creepy-crawlies - aka the thing I literally do for my career now). I was bullied relentlessly from preschool through early college and became a very lonely introverted person - I still am. Undoubtedly Our Flag Means Death gave me renewed hope that I haven't missed some key window for finding love or relationships of any kind that matter, as I sit here typing this at age 28 having never dated anyone.
But it had to be more than that. And with everything that's happened the past couple of months, and the last few days, I think it finally clicked for me.
Followers of my blog may or may not know that I am a conservation biologist, or pollinator ecologist, whichever hat fits best on a given day, they're quite close. I don't make many original posts like this anymore on here because my job is so busy. Basically, I do a variety of things - academic research, habitat management & restoration, and public outreach - to try and preserve biodiversity and ecosystems on our planet. I'm just going to say it: it's a thankless job. Nothing we do ever feels like it's enough, and burnout is common in our field because we sit with the guilt of feeling like we are the only thing between survival and utter destruction of planet Earth, and work ourselves to exhaustion. It's one of those jobs where your work is your life, and your passion is your work, and it's inseparable from who you are on a molecular level. We are often faced, on a large scale, with hostility, from people that don't believe in science and are more than happy to pull a shotgun on us, or rich old men in power who are content to watch the world burn for another penny in their bank account. There are days when sometimes it sinks in just how bad things are, and it's terrifying, and I feel like we will never be able to do enough, to change enough, before it gets catastrophic. It's paralyzing.
My ability to do my job is dependent on hope. Unwavering, unrelenting hope. Hope beyond hope. We have to believe what we're doing matters, otherwise we'd fall down and never get back up again. I'm no big-shot, I give talks to a few hundred people at a time, and make urban pollinator habitat on a local scale. Is any of that going to make a difference compared to the ramifications of a single oil mogul deciding to cut corners and cause an oil spill that kills millions of seabirds and damages ocean food chains for decades to come? If people in my field let thoughts like that linger, we'd be paralyzed to inaction. I have to hope that the people I teach choose to do something good with that knowledge, and go on to inspire others, or that the patch of habitat I make allows a declining species to maintain a foothold instead of going locally extinct. You just have to keep going.
And Our Flag Means Death got wrapped up in that for me. The Stede Bonnet effect, if you will. He set out to do pirating differently, treating his crew with respect and helping them grow. In return, they internalized that mindset, and it spread to how they interacted with others. It changed the trajectory of individual lives, and also at least began to change how the society of pirates operated as a whole. It was a beacon of hope that choosing small acts of kindness did matter, even if you yourself could not see the ripples it made. It renewed my faith that love persevered and would win. That we could all make life a little better for each other and ourselves through kindness, compassion, forgiveness, and mutual support. I think a good chunk of that is from Taika - these are running themes in his projects, and his films move me deeply for that. This show became in some, perhaps subconscious way, a source of strength for me to keep putting myself out there in my line of work to do whatever I was capable of to help the cause.
The cancellation was devastating, but the second cancellation (turbohell cancelation?) was even more so. Because now it's so clear that this is largely the work of David Zaslav and the regime he's built. It's petty, it's greedy, and more than anything, it's cruel. Indifferently, indiscriminately cruel, when one person at the top can have such power to make or break the lives of thousands, millions, beneath them, and though it would have been barely a drop in the bucket, a hand wave, to renew our show or let it pass to another streamer, he actively chose to shackle it to this sinking Titanic of a company WBD has become. I have always operated on the belief that you can do anything if you work hard enough at it, and believed deep down that there was some order, some justice in the universe, atheist though I be. We as a fandom did everything we possibly could, we loved this show harder than anything. The numbers were there, the awards nominations were there, the critic praise was there, and we were loud and loyal every single day. I felt like we could do this - how could we not win when we've done so much, and the show deserves it so much? Surely cause and effect will prevail.
This fight seemed small, though really it wasn't; we fought for the right of artists and creators to make quality, original stories and have them told to their natural end, we fought for diversity representation to be more than a token character - OFMD raised the bar so much higher on all fronts, we fought to shed light on the chaos and impending collapse of this industry silencing art and exploiting writers, actors, and all manner of production workers. It was a small fight from the outside, one that I really felt we could win. And I put my heart and soul into it, because if we could win this, if we could save this simple, kind love story about two guys on a boat, then maybe there was hope for the bigger, badder stuff too. It shouldn't seem an insurmountable task for several thousand fans to convince a streaming service that they'd turn a tidy profit to give our show one more season.
Yet we lost - through no fault of our own. I am so proud of us. But that really struck deep for me. If one peabrained CEO of a media company wouldn't budge on greenlighting a show that was in his every best interest business-wise - perhaps enough to even save Max from going under in the not-too-distant future - my god, what hope was there for changing anything bigger? The 'real' problems of the world? When no amount of ethos, logos, or pathos can penetrate these men at the top, where's that hope to fight? Lately the world seems like it's just going belly up all over. If we gave everything we could, and it still wasn't enough - if it could never be enough - what hope is there? It's like chaining yourself to a tree and the bulldozer plowing right on ahead. And I think that broke something in me. It shook me to my foundations because it broke my rules of how things are supposed to work. We believed hard enough, we worked tirelessly, and we deserved it for how important this show was to so many people. And it didn't matter. Our best wasn't enough. And that caused an avalanche of all of the horrible, scary things piled on my shoulders - we're losing the Amazon rainforest too fast to save, climate change is going to turn the corn belt into a dustbowl by mid-century, a border wall is going to devastate imperiled wildlife in Texas, deforestation and hurricanes on songbird wintering grounds could lead to entire species extinctions, saltmarshes are our lifeline and they're shrinking and we're still building stupid concrete stormwalls, invasive diseases will completely alter the composition of our forests to be unrecognizable to our children, and if you don't make every slide of this powerpoint utterly perfect and you fail to convince every single person in attendance to get rid of their lawn then you've failed and the world is doomed.
I've struggled with being a perfectionist my whole life. This didn't help.
That's where I was a couple hours ago. But I took some deep breaths. I know the world isn't fair. But I really thought if we could win this one battle, then we could win the war.
But here's what I realized. Everything we did mattered. It mattered so much. Because there's the show, and then there's everything that was birthed out of that show. The community, so many of us around the world who have been uplifted by Our Flag Means Death in a real and lasting way that we will take with us and spread to affect those around us. The Stede Bonnet effect goes global. We raised thousands and thousands of dollars for charities around the world, real people whose lives have been improved, or maybe even saved, because of us and this silly pirate show. We brought a hell of a lot of attention to WBD and their shitty practices, keeping the momentum going in a way that I think is only going to build - and I sure hope it leads to Zaslav getting deposed. We have demanded more queer stories, more BIPOC stories, more disabled and autistic and middle-aged stories, stories with exquisite costumes and award-worthy wigs, dear lord, and we are being heard. We have expressed such love and support for the cast and crew, showing them that we appreciate their hard work and that we will be behind them in their future projects. So many of them have told us how the show and its fans have changed their lives. We convinced Rhys that his career isn't winding down but winding up, and to be unapologetic about his wonderful weirdness - we've proven to everyone through this show that your weirdness is what someone out there is going to love you for, not in spite of. We rallied to help writers and actors during the strikes in a way that was taken to heart and remembered. We have been out here talking it through as a crew, and turning poison into positivity, for over two years now, and that impact is permanent. They can cancel our show, they can try and slap copyright notices on our fan merch, and spew bullshit excuses about the numbers not being there. But Our Flag Means Death sparked a movement, the biggest pirate crew the world has ever seen, using our power for good.
We may not have any more new material for our show for a while, or ever. But I maintain hope that when the dust has settled and streaming has entered its 'new era' that they'll remember us and throw us a lifeline. Because hope is a part of my genetic makeup, and even in cancellation my hope has been renewed that the fight is worth fighting, that our individual choices of kindness are having an effect, and making the world a little easier to live in bit by bit. No one can take from us what we have built out of this show. And thanks to pirating, they can't take the actual show from us either. Despite this, no matter the outcome, I am so happy we got two seasons of this wonderful series. That was more than almost anyone expected. The story belongs to all of us, and it will always live on. We did not truly lose this battle, because in the process we gained more than we could have ever imagined. And I know there's still so much more to come. That gives me the strength to keep doing what I do, every day.
To me, Our Flag Means Hope.
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