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one-more-offbeat-anthem · 2 years

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Every time is different.

The first time, he hadn’t died, he was just taking on a new vessel, letting Jimmy Novak’s soul stretch to fit the cosmos, but it felt the same as coming back to life: the awareness. The overwhelming nature of the human senses pressing in before he could tuck them away with his grace.

The actual first time, and the second time, it doesn’t feel like much. A snap of an angry angel’s (or fallen angel’s) fingers, and he’s gone. A moment later, he’s back, reformed with his vessel.

(The second time, the Righteous Man asks if he’s God. Castiel thinks perhaps God wouldn’t die so much.)

The third time, Castiel chooses his death and goes willingly to the water. It’s the only way to protect the people he loves, and--

Well that’s definitely new.

(Every time is different.)

He comes back after that with no memories of the people he loves, but he follows along with what seems to be his place in the world, the power crackling at his fingertips finally unlocked with the help of some old friends.

(One of them, more than a friend. The acquisition of human emotion is complicated. And profoundly unexpected.)

The fourth time, Castiel (well, Cas now) feels it the whole way through. He’s human, and it’s a bitter exercise in trust when the demon’s knife digs in. Waking up from that is unexpected, but then again, the person who bargains for him, who tells him never do that again, is Dean Winchester, and Cas is the one who first brought him back to life.

A lot happens after that. Enough years pass without getting stabbed or blown up or dragged into a reservoir by Leviathans that he gets oddly comfortable. Maybe too comfortable, but after Dean nearly kills Cas with his own blade and then doesn’t, backs away...

Cas starts to feel invincible.

He’s forcibly reminded that he’s wrong, very, very wrong when Lucifer’s angel blade slices through both his physical body and his grace. The last thing Cas is cognizant of as his grace pours out is Dean.

Cas bargains his way back to life this time, because God isn’t particularly interested in bringing him back, and he’s gone somewhere Dean, or anyone else, for that matter, can’t go, and the Empty agrees, on the condition that when he lets himself be truly happy, he’ll go away forever.

It seems only fair, Cas thinks, and when he returns, he’s fairly certain that moment of true happiness will never happen. There’s arguments, there’s danger, there’s the knowledge that fate was never on their side, there’s Jack (alive and dead and alive again and overwhelmingly trustful of Cas, an angel who has fallen apart so many times that he often wonders if he got stitched back together wrong one of those times), and then Dean’s blame and an argument and Cas leaves and comes back and then--

Well.

We came to an understanding, so spare me your contempt Castiel, the self-hating angel of Thursday. You know what every other version of you did after "gripping him tight and raising him from Perdition?" They did what they were told. But not you. Not the "one off the line with a crack in his chassis."

Cas wants to be hurt. He’s an angel. God is supposed to care about him. But he doesn’t. God is cold and unfeeling, only wanting to use them as his pawns. The difference now is that Cas sees that the fact that he did get stitched back together wrong, that he’s got that crack in his chassis, that he feels, is a good thing. It’s a strength.

It allows him to save the people he cares about, one last time, so that they can save the world.

I cared about the whole world because of you, he says.

I love you, he says.

And that’s it.

The darkness takes him, one last time.

*********************

Except.

Well, Cas is awake right now, and it’s morning. He’s dimly aware of sunlight filtering through the window, of a warm quilt, of a mason jar full of flowers on the bedside table. He keeps waking up like this, because he forgot that the person he loved enough to die for is extraordinarily stubborn, and the Empty isn’t actually a place where no one can go, apparently.

There’s noise downstairs, and Cas is fairly certain it’s his family (his family). Dean, making pancakes in a stupid Kiss the Cook apron (Cas has kissed the cook, actually, that’s something he does now, now that they’ve all saved the world). Jack, pouring too many chocolate chips into the batter. Sam, nursing a hangover and Eileen making fun of him. The promise of a sunny day ahead.

It’s not all easy, it never has been, but now they’ve all got a chance to figure things out. No more apocalypse, no more uncaring God, no more wondering if he’s broken.

For the first time, I feel, Cas had said, years ago, and another angel come to earth had replied, it gets worse, but what she didn’t know is that it also gets better.

Cas goes back to sleep.

He knows he’ll wake up.

#offbeatwrites #no like. I DID cry while writing this.#cas I love you so much #help #<3 #IT'S CAS DAY

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vesperscas · 7 months

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he walked into set with sex hair, a knock-off constantine cosplay, the most perplexing vocal choices of all time and the most intense homoerotic stare to ever be levelled at another man

#and then they just kept bringing him back.#castiel #spn #supernatural #cas day #misha collins

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somerandomdudelmao · 7 months

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I’m so incredibly sane and normal about @tmnt-turtle-tunes and their new song you have no idea……

#Day be so fine #Then boom #This line stabbed me in the heart 40 times #how do I recover now #istg this fandom #these turtle #these tunes #kdmbdgejejdbdhdkdmmd #cas fanart tag #somerandomdoodles #cas music #rottmnt #rise of the tmnt #riseofthetmnt #leonardo #future leonardo

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communist-hatsunemiku · 2 months

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Mime 404

#vocaloid #hatsune miku #miku day #calne ca

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strawlessandbraless · 2 months

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Reblog for a larger sampling size, a bitch be curious 💚 💙

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ursamajori · 1 year

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god i love being SOOO obnoxious about my ocs everyone should be 50% more obnoxious about their ocs right neow

#starspeak #get obnoxious (oc tag)#ttrpgs #my campaigns #edit: everything after these tags are from the og post— they’re just kinda me ranting but i don’t wanna get rid of them #due to the fact that it adds how fucking funny it is that this post got popular and it was just. me rambeling #anyways.#->#literally guy who gave their character a whole birthday week and is celebrating him that whole week #like girl he’s fake……..just kidding cas is real To Me #this is fully positive there is NO self deprecation here i’m being dead serious #also i’m celebrating all week to hide the fact that this is the busiest week of the year at my work #and i’m already sick so it’s gonna be downhill from here 🥲#casboy’s gotta get me through it ok #not Sick sick i just don’t feel well. at least tmrw is my day off i probably need Rest #oops didn’t mean to rant a bit here but oh well. happy birthday week cas

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arabriddler · 7 months

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CAS DAY CAS DAY CAS DAY

#Castiel #cas #cas day #spn #bee’s art

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sailorsallyart · 7 months

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Lazarus doing the rising because I am a sucker for narrative parallels!! (besides it’s Cas’ bday & he deserves nice things 🤲💛💫)

#Destiel #supernatural #spn #destiel art #Lazarus rising #cas day #castiel #dean Winchester #spn art #spn fanart #supernatural art

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wigglebox · 9 months

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Found you ☀️

#spnfanart #destiel #destiel fanart #dean winchester #castiel #wiggleart #rolls up 1000 days later with an empty rescue #I’ve always had this scenario in mind but I never knew how I wanted to draw it and actually it was gonna be quite sad at first #with Cas being taken away by the empty #but the other night I wanted to draw him getting rescued lol #so I’m like I must do this inbetween my other projects #also #the final image is of them being back in the room they were in 1518 #because to me I don’t want their first kiss to be in the empty #but back home #sorry for the long post lol #I have to figure out how to get this thing on Twitter

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rensimss · 6 months

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Spooky Day Lookbook Pt. 4 by rensimss

Making these spooky day lookbooks this month has been super fun and I think this will be my last one so I hope you like it !!

Look 1: Dress | Tights (Base game) | Pacifier | Headband

Look 2: Outfit | Tights | Pacifier

Look 3: Outfit

Look 4: Outfit | Pacifier

Instagram | Twitter | TikTok | Pinterest | Youtube

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venriliz · 23 days

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Kelly.

Med student that knows every herb by heart and wins at every boardgame.

#simblr #sims 4 cas #ts4 cas #sims 4 edit #ts4 edit #i nuked my gshade preset v.v and now it looks weird to me #watch me change my preset 100 more times before finally using the same one for more than a few days #a me problem #looks like i put twins next to each other lmao

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kingdumbass · 2 months

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The Martyr

inspired by the baroque period's obession with martyrs and in honor of valentine's day and ash wednesday falling on the same day... i present the gay angel, ultimate martyr for love.

buy it on stuff here

#castiel #cas fanart #baroque #st sebastian #valentines day #ash wednesday #gay angel

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claudtrait · 1 month

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