#Julian I love you

[julescarstairs]

The way I fucking lost it—

#it just kind of took me off guard but in like the best way #I’ve never seen someone translate faerie speak so crudely #Julian I love you #the dark artifices #julian blackthorn #the shadowhunter chronicles #emma carstairs #blackstairs #mark blackthorn #cristina rosales #ty blackthorn #tavvy blackthorn #thedarkartifices #secrets of blackthorn hall #sobh #tda #kit herondale #lady midnight #lord of shadows #kieran kingson #dru blackthorn #the wicked powers #shadowhunters

[garaks-padded-bra]

Well would you look at that!!

#thank you so much #i wish i could draw smth for everyone who donates to help me thru school #if i had more time i would #i love u all #garashir #elim garak #ds9 #star trek #star trek deep space nine #julian bashir #garashir fanart #my art #deep space nine

[uglygirlstatus]

at least we’ll always have Archie: The Musical

#riverdale #beronica #Betty Cooper #Archie andrews #Veronica lodge #jughead Jones #gay Kevin #clay walker #Cheryl blossom #Toni topaz #Julian blossom #and everyone else #my art #I have so many mixed feelings about s7 but above all at least we got this glorious masterpiece of an episode #I had to pay tribute and apparently draw the most complex time consuming art piece I’ve completed in two years. #t #riverdale I love you forever I will miss you until the end of my life

[qcon-tinuum]

Isn't there some explanation in between?

#star trek #deep space nine #ds9 #startrekedit #trekedit #ds9edit #julian bashir #miles o'brien #drkfrcegifs #if he was looking at me like that i would also be declaring my love #i see you miles #and i know what you are

[dustykneed]

not a SINGLE day goes by where i don't think about that post with the photo of andrew's death grip on alex's waist. you know the one

(i have, regrettably, once again, lost the damn post. if anyone has any clue as to its whereabouts i would be much obliged if you could drop the link lol. but at the very least i had the presence of mind to download the photo so here yall go xDD:

#star trek #star trek fanart #garashir #garashir fanart #ds9 #star trek ds9 #ds9 fanart #elim garak #julian bashir #andrew robinson #alexander siddig #garak x bashir #surprisingly drawing works better on more than 5 hours of sleep. Who woulda thunk? #but as always minimal refs <3333 love bad drawing habits 😌 #i drew em sorta wearing each other's colors because im a nerd like that #but i can feel the ds9 polycule attachment growing in my head #yippee #can you tell where my adhd took over and i blacked out and rendered something completely unrelated to the nature of the ship art #yeaaaaaah whoops but also not whoops because it turned out fine so im all fine and dandy <333333 #dust medibang paints #the fact that i accidentally matched the colors in the picture is so funny to me

[fenrir-flamekeeper]

season 3 smooches!

[ID: digital comic style drawing of geralt and jaskier from witcher netflix kissing. the drawing is mid-thigh. Geralt is dressed in his usual black outfit, Jaskier is wearing dark red pants and the season 3 floral shirt. Geralt has an arm wrapped around Jaskiers waist and is dipping him slightly. Jaskier is holding on to Geralts shoulder with one hand. the background is dark grey and soft pink. ID end.]

#witcher #witcher netflix #geraskier #geraskier fanart #digital art #my art #geralt of rivia #jaskier #julian alfred pankratz #etc etc #they’re in love your honor #i near went feral at ‘you have a crush’ #OH YOU DON’T SAY #canonically queer jaskier i love you

[rawrsatthetree]

I’ve seen people compare Julian Devorak to Astarion, and honestly I think you’re all embarrassing wrong.

Gale Dekarios is Julian Devorak.

Astarion is Count Lucio

#I could write a 10 page mla cited paper about this #you either don’t get Jules #or more likely you’re woobifying Astarion #i said what i said #bg3 #baldurs gate 3 #baldurs gate #astarion #bg3 astarion #baldurs gate astarion #bg3 gale #gale dekarios #the arcana game #the arcana #julian devorak #count lucio #the fact that Lucio can either become better and become an adventure or he can become the literal devil that takes over the city #he’s need to discard his old self and grab for power by making deals with devils #Gale is a genuine that loves wine his cat and his mom #julian is a genious that loves salty bitters his old dog and his sister #both Gale and Julians need to self sacrifice to prove their worth

[vaguely-concerned]

Ever since watching The Wire for the first time, my brain has doggedly kept working away at the Especially the lies of it all, and specifically at how much the structure beneath the different stories Garak tells contributes to the overall meaning of what he’s trying to say. While the contradicting narratives of course expertly obscure the factual circumstances of his getting exiled, using them also allows him to tell aspects and facets of the emotional truth I don’t think he ever could have, if he’d simply told the actual story of what happened. (It’s very Varric-core of him honestly.)

The first story — the ‘oh, you think you know me?’ story — says I have done things that would sicken you if you knew any detail of it. It’s clearly meant to scare Bashir away so he’ll leave him to die shamefully in peace already lol. But it’s also one of his (probably much-needed lbr) little lessons to Julian that are so frequent in the beginning, given while Garak still has some hold on himself — “Don’t be so quick to forgive me if you don’t even know what I’ve done; what would you do if this really were the sum total of what I am?” (And Julian seems to surprise him by going ‘Well, exactly the same thing, because no matter who you are I am a doctor. But I sort of take your point.’)

The second story — the letting the orphans go story — says I have failed to smother my soul in its cradle when it was required of me, and I regret that more than anything I’ve done. To my ears this is the one most shot through with active self-loathing too, which is interesting. He’s officially lost the control he’s been clinging to and it’s about to get ugly. His TL;DR is ‘Sentiment is the greatest weakness of all’, even all the way back here. (Which is the one lesson Julian steadfastly refuses to learn, which I think in turn does some serious rearrangement of Garak’s soul over the course of the show haha. Get uno reversed into the process of loving and being loved without shame asshole.)  This is also where he builds up to admitting to having any sort of need for companionship or closeness at all and — so much worse — that Julian’s role in his life actually has fulfilled some of that need, and he’s DRIPPING with defensive venom over it b/c well I get it Garak vulnerability is scary it can take a person like that. 

(I also feel there’s something honest and forbidden in ‘Suddenly the whole exercise seemed utterly meaningless’. I suspect ‘actually… why the fuck are we even doing this???’ is not a welcome sentiment in an Obsidian Order water cooler environment, no matter what you’re saying it about lmao. The very first seeds of him deconstructing the things he’s been taught about Cardassia and his work might be hinted at here, though they of course take a looong time to come to any real fruition.)   

The third story — the ‘Elim was my best friend’ story — says hey, remember that thing you said once, about how sometimes, you have to be loyal to yourself before you can be loyal to anything else? Well. guess what. I couldn’t even be that lmao. It also furthers that thread of being divided from yourself, split, that having ‘Elim’ as a separate person around in all versions of the story brings in. He’s in control of himself again, but he essentially hands his life and soul over to Julian to decide what should be done with them. 

I’ve done horrible things and it finally caught up with me, I’m getting what I deserve �� I let sentiment master me and the fact that I’m too weak to do what’s needed of me shames me more than the evil I’ve done → I fucked up. I betrayed myself and everything I held to, all for nothing, and I have no one to blame for it but myself. But it’s very nice that you’re here anyway, Doctor. (Wow. I didn’t realize quite how isolated and lonely that last one was before right now. The way Tain has shaped him really has just… locked him completely into himself, huh.) We can also see a movement through from a completely professional context in the first story, to an intensely interpersonal and internal context in the last one — even his fake stories spiral in towards intimacy, which I think is what he longs for here even if he can’t quite like. Touch that without the stories as a buffer yet, it’s clearly like touching a hot stove for him to interact with it too directly. 

And you know what I find incredibly interesting the whole way through? Even on his deathbed, where he’s dying from the thing Tain had put in his head, he’s protecting Tain. He puts all the blame for where he is on himself (‘My future was limitless, until I threw it away’), even if he has to employ a strange twisty logic where he’s split himself into two to do it. Don’t get me wrong, Garak has done horrific things all on his own haha, but it’s notable that he almost isolates Tain from that. ‘Tain was the Obsidian Order. Not even the Central Command dared challenge him. And I was his right hand.’ Tain in Garak’s stories is this infallible implacable weirdly distant figure, even now. Indeed, as will make a lot of sense with the revelations further down the line, more than anything it seems the gaze of an abused child desperate for recognition looking up at an idealized (if not in any way nurturing) parent.‘He was retired at that point; he couldn't protect me’, Garak says, as if what he’d need protection from in the first place isn’t Tain himself lmao, as if Tain had no active part in any of this. He never lets blame touch Tain at all. At this stage he would rather consider himself a broken flawed tool than accept that the hands that have wrought and wielded him have ever had any fault in them. AND in the middle of it all, with plausible deniability, on death’s door and knocking meekly to be let in before he must finish the mortifying ordeal of being known and test the even more daunting possibility of being loved, Garak at the same time manages to drop the breadcrumb trail of clues to make it possible for Julian to find Tain if he so chooses and gets in the ‘sons of Tain’ thing too for future dramatic irony purposes. Truly he is the Michelangelo of lying. Every falsehood a multifaceted masterpiece. Elim ‘achieving a state of intertextuality in real life is possible if you work hard and believe in yourself’ Garak. I love him so much. 

I think all of this is why “I forgive you. For whatever it is you did,” works so well, because it too works on a structural level. It’s such a deceptively multilayered response — it has the syntax of a joke, in a way, and it is kind of funny even under the circumstances, but delivered with such earnest warmth and fondness. It’s both recognition and acceptance (forgiveness!). It’s saying ‘I finally understand enough of what you’re trying to tell me beneath and through all that, in whatever way you’re capable of, I see you’ and ‘my answer hasn’t changed (bitch)’. The forgiveness Julian offers here is complete — on principle, and out of personal feeling and empathy (only one of which Garak deigns to respond to during the second story, where he calls it ‘smug Federation sympathy’, placing it more completely on the principle side than it probably is. ‘Dude you’re my friend please don’t just lie down and die in a completely avoidable way on me, who else is going to not only tolerate but actually gleefully enjoy me being annoying as fuck over lunch’ seems to be the subtext that’s a lot harder to acknowledge and invite in for both of them. And yet Tain seems perfectly clear on the fact that Julian is Garak’s friend, which, y’know. Must be fun living with the knowledge that Tain has eyes everywhere looming over you every day haha guess you’d just have to tune that out.) 

Most of all — ’Don’t give up on me now, Doctor’... and he didn’t! He didn’t. Augh. Ow.

#garashir #elim garak #julian bashir #star trek ds9 #ds9 #star trek #ds9 meta #S2EP22 The Wire #alternate title: baby's first brush with unconditional love through unreliable narration lol #I'm not sure I got to say everything I want to in this/found the exact right words in places or hit all the nuances #but god help me I so desperately need this out of my brain to free up some disc space so go forth little meta haha be free #I'm sure I'll come back to you in time #meta #enabran tain #(derogatory)

[youngpettyqueen]

Julian and Keiko headcanons because Keiko gets sidelined so much and deserves the world and I wish we got to see them interact more

when they get stumped on their respective projects, they'll do late night work sessions together and bounce their research off each other to see if the other can help them figure out where the problem is. they'll do this in person when theyre both on the station, but also over call if one of them is away, and after the O'Briens move back to Earth

they edit each other's papers (Keiko marvels at Julian's ability to spell out complex chemical compounds with his eyes closed, and somehow use 'their' instead of 'there') (in his defense he wrote that bit at 4 in the morning after going 2 straight days without sleep) (she threatens to sedate him)

Julian sometimes brings back plants from planets they explore in the Gamma Quadrant and gives them to Keiko. sometimes he does it because the plant has medicinal properties and the two of them can do a joint research project, but most of the time he does it just to give her a nice gift

when Miles goes away for particularly dangerous missions, Julian will keep Keiko company and help keep her mind off of it. sometimes she has trouble sleeping because shes so worried, so he'll hang around and start rambling on about whatever he's currently working on until she falls asleep. he jokes he's boring her to sleep, but it actually means a lot to her

they have a weekly tea date. this is their prime gossip time. sometimes Jadzia is invited

when Keiko's mad at Miles she'll rant to Julian about it. Julian learned very quickly that this is not a time where advice is wanted, so he sits back and lets her get it all off her chest, because she really just wants someone to listen and let her blow off some steam

Julian makes a concentrated effort to learn more about plant husbandry and care after the incident where he accidentally killed some of Keiko's prized plants because he actually does feel very bad about it

Julian hovered over Keiko nearly as bad as Miles did when she was pregnant with Kirayoshi (and then he hovered over her even more after the pregnancy transfer, and he wouldnt tell anybody why, but Keiko knew it was because nearly losing her shook him up pretty bad)

when Julian gets outed for being augmented, Keiko goes to him and gives him the tightest, warmest hug he's ever gotten in his entire life

Julian gets invited to girls nights with Keiko and Molly (steady surgeon's hands make him the best one to paint nails) (he pretends to complain but he loves it)

anytime Julian has to go away for a scientific conference of any kind, if he gets to bring someone with him, his first choice is always Keiko

in short: theyre besties they told me so themselves <3

#star trek: ds9 #julian bashir #keiko o'brien #seriously theyre both scientists you can do so much with JUST that #you cant tell me they havent helped each other reach breakthroughs in their research #Keiko brings Julian a couple plants that can be used to help make a vaccine because she read his research and recognized what he needed #Julian gets so excited he picks Keiko up and spins her around and calls her a genius and kisses her on the cheek #another time Julian is reading through Keiko's research on an endangered tree shes trying to keep alive and struggling #and he realizes he can synthesize something in his lab that will help #and Keiko hugs him so hard she nearly takes him to the floor #I know in my heart theyre besties #well. im an O'Brien polycule truther but I wanted to focus on Keiko #because Keiko doesnt get enough love

[grapejuicegay]

#hands [for @casualavocados]

#i wanted to gif day's hand on mhok's knee #and then it got away from me #as these things tend to #i just love it when day is tender right back #last twilight #last twilight series #kk.gifs #pdribs #uservid #i tried to go for a colour palette this time! #i hope it works.... #and julian if you see this GO TO SLEEP

[trektown]

Julian: *going into great detail about his ex-girlfriend’s feet*

Miles, succumbing to illness next to him:

#I love you Dr bashir never change #star trek #trekposting #star trek ds9 #star trek deep space nine #ds9 #deep space nine #julian bashir #dr bashir #ds9 bashir #miles o'brien #chief obrien #O’Brien ds9

[kateis-cakeis]

I think what really gets to me with the finale is that Merlin was so close to getting Arthur to the lake. Yet, there was no plan beyond that. It's like even if they did get there, who knows if anything would have happened.

The idea that there was still more tragedy awaiting even if they made it, that yeah despite all of Merlin’s magic, he couldn't save Arthur's life.

It was always the possibility of the Sidhe, but there was no guarantee. It was all hope from the start, endless hope that failed them in the end.

Because well, it was always supposed to happen like this anyway... Arthur was meant to die so he could rise again, there was no alternative

#bbc merlin #merlin #merthur #some little festive angst for you all on the angstiest day of the year for this fandom ;) #i just feel for Merlin so much all that hope to save his loved one and yet and yettttt #like genuinely what would have happened like Merlin has gone around murdering Sidhe left and right djdjdjd #It was always meant to be this way is something that we all must come to accept with the canon #As Julian Murphy said in the infamous commentary they had to deliver on Arthur's death because they had been building up to it for so long! #anyway i love it watching Arthur's death is kinda like a strange catharsis for me these days #like it's I look at it like it's okay there's still hope it's okay to watch him die and feel sad it's not over forever

[trykster-maraca]

If I was getting ready for surgery and saw Julian strut up in crayola chic I would simply exit the room

#deep space nine #Star Trek #julian bashir #I love you so much but get away from me

[saltseashark]

space airport show :-)

#deep space nine #benjamin sisko #kira nerys #odo ds9 #quark ds9 #miles obrien #worf ds9 #julian bashir #elim garak #aaaaaaaaand OTHERS. LOL #sorry there are so many as you can see ds9 has captured me heart and soul #my art #like what a lovely ensemble!!! what a buncha guys!!!!! theyre all so Fun -w- i dont have anyone i dont like and playing ship darts with the #is so great. whacks them around like barbie dolls #plus im wayyy more into making comics now all of a sudden. things that have not happened since the year 2019. amazing. whats next will he #make an animatic again. lord knows

[strunmah-mah]

Obscura is weirdly high stakes for a visual novel. Most vn's the end you get is an accumulation of the decision you make, Obscura? Make one wrong choice and you're DEAD.

Anyway, in unrelated news, I've somehow managed to get the bad end in 3 out of 4 of Obscura's routes. Whoops.

#obscura vn #save me keir #you're the only one who loves me #fransesco's bad end was the worst #i finally poked my head into the aftercare menu for that one #big yikes #that said it kinda interesting the system they've chosen #some people may not like it #but it's cool looking back and being able to see the exact moment you messed up #whereas in arcana when i got julian's bad ending #i had no idea how i got there #also it's oddly realistic #sometimes one bad decision is all it takes to mess up a good thing

[hooved]

it's insane how when a character's """"real"""" name (deadname) is revealed and that character says "that isn't my name anymore and i associate it with trauma and i don't want you to call me that", their "fans" start calling them that name like it's some secret special term of endearment. like would you do that with a real person or what

#yes this is about odo and julian bashir and yes i've made this post a million times but i STILL see it happen and i DON'T understand it #and it's ALWAYS people who supposedly love said characters more than anything. like if that was true you wouldn't do this lmao