Tumgik
#LIKE HE HAS FRIENDSHIPS AND WE DONT SEE THEM
kamig4mes · 2 days
Note
We need friendship headcannons with kisski and hanma it can be seperated or as an trio,you can make one platonic and one as an love interest i dont really care!!!
I'm still excited that you made this request, anon bc this duo has been making eyes at me these days. I thought about kisakixhanmaxfem!reader. I'm so sorry for the wait!! I hope u like it, nd enjoy it!
Tumblr media Tumblr media
#pov: friendship headcanons with Kisaki and Hanma (platonic/love interest)
★ warnings: fem!reader, realistic hc, fluff, funny, friendship, love interest, established relationship, platonic facts, school mention
→ a/n: H&K = Hanma and Kisaki
Tumblr media
—friendship (+ platonic facts)!
The three go and return together wherever they go, both boys coming to pick you up at the entrance of your house and leaving you at the same even when classes are over! This pair makes sure you're in one piece by the end of the day.
The races to determine the unnecessary speed between you are never lacking. A few meters to enter the school, Hanma challenges them to a race to see who gets there first and you accept, and as always you do the countdown.
"Alright! in your marks, read-.. HUH?!
And before you know it Hanma took the dirty lead by shooting out first, taking the lead and leaving you biting the dust
"STOP, STUPID CHEATER!"
You run in search of him screaming complaints between laughs trying to reach him while Kisaki just keeps walking at his pace like the normal person he is, catching up with them minutes later.
At least three times a month they attend karaoke together. They try to use all the power of friendship possible to convince Kisaki to go together, trying not to upset him with his nonsense the previous days. After two attempts, the blonde accepts, renting the most minimal time rate they have to stop listening to the stormy concerts that you and Hanma give it.
It's natural for Hanma to bother you every day, almost as if that's his mission in this life. Sometimes it makes you very angry, is Kisaki who intervenes asking to stop. But once both stoics made you cry out of pure rage so you stopped talking to them for a whole week. They both spent that time following you around in silence and apologizing by buying your favorite sweets.
Hanma accompanies you to almost any nonsense you can think of, until it puts the three of them in a bad position. The bicolor loves the adrenaline rush, but if he feels that his asses can end up in difficult problems to handle he absolutely aborts the mission.
H&K are your protectors. Whether with intimidating looks/postures or verbal threats, both guys make it clear to everyone that you are their best friend and they can't try any moves on you. Yes, that's the way they are.
That's why Valentine's Days were really sad for you because, for some alien reason, you didn't receive any gifts or letters that day. Much less declarations of love or anonymous confessions. NOTHING. And the reason is that in reality, H&K were furtively responsible for eliminating (not literally) anyone who tried to make any move on you regarding the date, the two allying themselves to scare away and intimidate.
"I'm sorry, brat" explains the bicolor blocking the way to the classroom to the boy one grade below you "this girl is already busy"
"B-but I-"
"And don't try anything behind our backs, or you won't want to regret it later," Kisaki muttered, making the poor trembling boy pass out loud saliva when he clattered his knuckles noisily.
This is how your two best friends were always there to comfort you and fill that void of the day with walks or gifts only from them.
The three of them would run away from classes, but only when they are extremely bored of listening to the teacher.
H&K care a lot about your health, even if it doesn't seem like it. They offer you water or some nutritious drink, buy you breakfast and even make sure that you don't consume a lot of fried foods or sweets.
Their jobs are close to each other, so it's easy for the three of them to meet at a specific place and then stop by for a drink or just walk home.
—(+) platonic facts!
The first time H&K saw you wearing a swimsuit for a beach meet-up that you organized with your friends, they gasped. Kisaki felt that her face would explode because of how good your body looked while Hanma quickly glanced at you every time you passed by him.
H&K are the kind of guy in love who contemplates you at every opportunity he can. Kisaki by his observant and discreet nature manages to spy without being seen by anyone while Hanma does it blatantly without caring if it's very obvious or not. You actually caught him once seeing you, and his reaction was to let out a little giggle and look away when he realized that you caught him. You could notice the soft blush on his cheeks.
They enjoy taking pictures of you doing random things. Especially Hanma (he has a whole album of you and kisaki on his phone), and only occasionally Kisaki warns for a good take.
"Take out your phone, Shuji"
"Huh? And for what the hell-?"
"Look over there, is y/n"
Kisaki points at you covertly, and the two-tone nods, catching his friend's intention as he quickly pulled out his phone. Seconds later the flash does its job. They both smile seeing you captured on the screen.
"Good angle" celebrates the blonde "very cute.."
"Yea' she looks fcking beautiful"
Yes, whether it's taking you or going to pick you up, taking a walk to the park for a while and things like that, at first H&K keep track of which one of the two has to share time with you. That's why it's not uncommon for you to feel that they take turns.
Kisaki would leave you a lot of small gifts throughout the week anonymously because he is embarrassed to deliver them to you in person. At first you thought it could be a stalker with ninja skills because you couldn't catch him in the act, but soon (and in the dumbest way) you found out it was the blond one (I have a little pov for this hc, I'll upload it after this!)
—love interest!
Hanma calls you "baby" most of the time, and would use adorable nicknames like "babydoll" or "fcking princess" just to annoy you. I'm not sure with Kisaki, I think "honey" might work for him. But both of them, without a doubt, call you "darling" a lot of the time.
Hanma, unlike Kisaki, is more concerned about your feminine needs. I feel like he has a sharper sense for that kind of thing. On the other hand, you can safely entrust the financial part to Kisaki because that man will cover all your whims.
Maximum princess treatment with some moments of rough love (the latter courtesy of Shuji Hanma). They like to pamper and pamper you a lot, just allow yourself to enjoy it.
On dates YES OR YES the three of you go together. And the one who is usually planning spontaneous outings is Hanma. For more important events that require more planning (such as special dates) Kisaki takes care of, for the rest of the outings/appointments he just gets carried away by the rhythm of you two.
Their plans for an intimate afternoon is to warm up the three of them together between sheets and sweets while watching eternal marathons of movies or documentaries (hanma falls asleep after two films and you always wake him up before the marathon ends so that Kisaki doesn't notice).
Their first date as official couples was at an amusement park by your decision. It was quite an exhausting day for the three of them but they would be able to repeat it a thousand more times if with that they manage to see the exact definition of happiness in each other's smiles again.
When you and Hanma start a tickle fight, you run away in the direction of Kisaki's private studio hiding behind him because he never allows Hanma to enter that place. And you know it very well. That place is your safe zone. But once you take one foot out of there your immunity ends, and Hanma makes sure to get revenge by cornering you between the sofa and him with no escape option. Kisaki gives a soft smile when he hears them laughing in the distance.
At the same time, you and Hanma are good partners, teaming up as an unconscious act to make fun of anything Kisaki says or does.
Broadly speaking Kisaki in a refined, calculating, thoughtful, more elegant and formal type than any ordinary person. In this way he manages to keep his surroundings (and his inner world) under control and at peace. But unfortunately Kisaki can not go against the hyperstimulated souls of their partners. So when a situation in which his presence is completely protagonist and necessary gets stressed. Specifically because the ideas you and Hanma come up with can become terrifyingly exhausting for him. Going to fairs, concerts, parties, birthdays and similar events these are some examples.
Kisaki harbors a buttery side that melts faster when she's resting in your arms, whether you're stroking her hair or listening to her thoughts out loud. Not with this he says that he loves you more than Hanma, only you transmit to him a greater warmth and security compared to the noisy and annoying immature actions of the languid boy. Hanma, in turn, gets cheesier when she's alone with you. He feels that he can release his more cloying cuteness with you because he knows that you tolerate that kind of treatment more, and that you are not going to reject him or get irritated like it happens when he tries to be the same way with Kisaki. Still, none of you have preferences, all three of you love each other equally.
Hanma shows them how much he loves them and how important they are to him by spending quality time together: walks in the fresh air, outings to eat, watching movies at the cinema or at home, playing with board games/video games, etc. Anything that allows him to share his time with the two of you he will put into practice. Kisaki, on the other hand, applies physical contact: hands on the waist, caressing sessions, linked fingers, kisses on random areas of the body, massages, etc. In these ways Kisaki tries to convey to both of you all the love and appreciation he feels for you two, showing you a side that he doesn't have with anyone else.
Of course, this pair is a dangerous bombshell of jealousy and possession. Oh yeah, anyone who tries to step out of the line or even flirt with you won't have any functional organ or limb left to tell about it.
They also don't like to share you with others, no matter if it's your family or friends. Hanma is the most impatient and impulsive of the three, he won't even spend two hours when he's already holding your hand to take you with him and get you out of wherever you are without letting you properly excuse yourself. Kisaki is more patient and serene, entertaining his mind with other things until he can't stand it anymore and demands that you return by means of a call or he just goes to look for you. You better not ignore this couple when jealousy gets the better of them, or you're not going to have a great time afterwards.
Tumblr media
©2024 / ENJOY ♡ — aaaand I was finally able to finish it, I was too busy with classes 🥲🥲 I'll keep writing more about this trio eventually. Thank u for all your love and patience 🙌🏻 tkm
53 notes · View notes
fruity-fruition · 3 days
Text
Assigning Disney songs and small analysis on why to Wondershow pairings!!
(boycott Disney literally please never stop. Pirate EVERYTHING they have FUCK Disney they're literally the worst EVILL evil corporation it's not even funny. but their stories and songs are iconic unfortunately)
Ruikasa: I See The Light (Tangled)
It's a song about discovering what it means to dream, and realizing how much your world has changed so drastically after the right person enters your life.
"All these years, chasing down a daydream. All those days, living in a blur. All that time, never truly seeing things the way they were"
TELL ME. TELL ME THAT ISN'T TSUKASA PRE-WXS. Him NOT knowing what he's doing, striving for a blurry dream he's stumbling to achieve. BEFORE MEETING WXS, in this specific case, Rui.
"All at once, everything looks different, now that I see you"
How Rui's entire view of friendship and life in general changed the moment Tsukasa officially invites and begs him back into the group. Hear me OUT.
Nenekasa: A Whole New World (Aladdin)
A song of one person showing and exposing the other to a new and exciting world, one filled with wonder.
Tsukasa pulled Nene out of her shell, and basically challenged her. While all her friends are her stepping stone, it's Tsukasa that pushed her into the world of stardom. A world she so desperately wants to achieve.
He's a competition to her, a friend, and also a motivation to keep getting better. She overcomes a lot of her fears with her rivalry of sorts with him, wanting to be an equal and improve just as much. She's brought to the spotlight, indirectly because of him. A whole new world she's just introduced to.
"A dazzling place I never knew. But when I'm way up here, it's crystal clear, that now I'm in a whole new world with you"
THE TWO STARS OF WONDERSHOW. IN THE SKIES TOGETHER.
Emurui: Love is an open door (Frozen)
Ok, I know this is TECHNICALLY a manipulative and villain song, BUT NOT TO ME IN THIS CONTEXT. Just two, absolutely silly doofuses goofing around and being equally stupid.
I don't have much logical explanation for this except for silly and also it matches their vibes SOO WELL. With Emu thinking nearly as insanely as Rui, and both of them being whimsical in nature. It makes the
"I mean it's crazy"
"What?"
"We finish each other's s-"
"sandwiches!!"
"That's what I was gonna say!"
More so their brainwave being THAT goofy and in line with each other rather than a manipulative tactic the song was trying to do.
"I never met someone who thinks so much like me!"
YEAHHHHHH
I don't have the energy to keep analysing right now but I'll drop the other two and explain later if I don't forget and die.
Ruinene: Something There (Beauty and the Beast)
Emukasa: I DONT KNOW I DESPERATELY TRIED IF ANYONE HAS ANY IDEAS SHARE I LOVE EMUKASA BUT I WAS DYING.
Emunene: I won't say I'm in Love (Hercules) ORR THE LESBIAN ANTHEM Kiss The Girl (The Little Mermaid)
22 notes · View notes
memoiich · 2 days
Note
Obi wan Headcanons my lord? feed the poor
God, I have a lot of them .I'm going to split this up in a few parts just because it makes sense . Strap in !!!
Part 0: baby obi wan
His parents noticed that he was a surprisingly bright child, and since they were farmers from stewjon, they weren’t well off. When they had their second child (a son) they brought obi wan to a near by testing unit on the neighbour planet Klommet , in hopes of giving both him and his brother a better chance at survival.
Obi wan was tested at the age 1 and a half. He was clearly gifted but nothing special.
He used to cry a lot when he first got to the jedi temple. Most jedi got rather annoyed at the younglings crying, except one ,qui gon jin .
Qui gon voluntured a lot at the creshe , he believed that crying children needed confort not a lecture. Obi wan got attached to qui gon rather quickly as a 2 year old ( qui gon looks a bit like his late dad)
As he grew up , he got along well with the other children and formed close friendships with them ( po ,kit ,quinlan) . Seeing this, qui gon went back to helping the new kids.
Part 1 : padawan years
Obi wan is rather talented at most things, not on a “ WOW YOU’RE THE BEST “ way but more like a “…that shouldn’t go so easily “ . He picks things up quickly, which causes him to be rather inpatient. Not impulsive, he doesn’t rush he simply hates waiting. That's why he hates meditating. He doesn’t understand it.
He doesn’t know it but when discussing who would get which apprentice , his name fell quite a few times . Obi wan likes to learn and so many suspect that he would be a nice well behaved padawan.
He was so happy when they informed him that qui gon would be his master . Qui gon had always stood out as the nicest jedi , not that the others weren’t but he had seemed to understand obi wan a bit more.
The first thing qui gon asked of him was to meditate. Obi wan started stressing immediately, and it went pretty bad in the beginning. Qui gon thought it was hilarious how quickly he was distracted. “ the wall paper does not need your attention right now “ he would quip or “ breathe through your nose and dont rush it” . It took obi Wan's a year to truly be able to meditate properly.
Luckily time wasn’t wasted because his fight skills and knowledge were unmatched.
Piloting took some getting used to. Not only was he scared of heights , but he also wasn’t a fan of rollercoasters. Qui gon always noted how slow he was . “ If you keep flying like this, we won't get there before im 60 “ or “ we can always walk , it might be faster” . But his master did help him, he would go to more desserted planets with obi wan . The planets that even if he would fly faster, he couldn’t hit anything . Obi wan got his red piloting bead 5 months later with the promise to let go a little.
He picks up quickly with missions , like i said he’s a natural . His first mission was a bit stressful but after that hes pretty much set . Also when they get back to their ship , qui gon cooks a home cooked meal because hes not going to let obi wan live on war rashens and blue milk.
He also teaches him how to cook
Obi wan starts feeling a bit quilty because he starts thinking of qui gon as his dad since well he is a little. But the jedi code says no attachments and he will follow that . Until he has a nervous breakdown because if qui gon is a jedi master that follows the jedi code he probably doesn’t care about him , he ends up getting in quite a lot of danger on a mission because of this . When he confesses to qui gon why he did all that he doesn’t respond,he just pulls his padawan into a hug . “ you are my kid obi wan “
When he turns 20 , he starts to really push qui gonn to let him take his trials. He just wants to be a jedi master.
That all changes a bit when he meets the dutches of mandelore Satine . He falls inlove quickly but he’s a real coward about it ( Satine notices) . Satine ends up pulling him into a kiss 2 months later at a gala she had to attend. They had a night together……
Qui gonn knows 100% . He finds it hilarious how his bumbling fool of a padawan got himsel into this mess . He prepares for the inevitable “ im leaving the order “ not that he wants him to . Obi wan is just that kinda kid .
When he sees obi wan the next morning, he looks like he cried acts rather somber and asks when they are leaving . Qui gon figures out what happened but doesn’t say anything. They leave and he gives him some space .
For the next 2 years it all goes smoothly until…
Part 2: early Anakin years
Obi wan isn’t too happy with the orphan. They are on a dangerous mission in the middle of who knows where with the queen of a planet that’s about to die . And now they have Ani , he wasn't going to lie it was a sweet child . But why now.
Obi wan has a quiet panic attack when qui gon says he will take anakin as his apprentice . He doesn’t feel ready to take the trials since his self esteem plummeted a bit after the Satine debacle and no one helped him take care of that ( fuck the jedi council) .
During the flight back to Naboo, padme went to her room and qui gon had a call with the council, leaving obi Wan to babysit ani . The child would yap non stop “ Did you make your own lightsaber?” “Yes” “can i hold it?” “No” “ when do i get mine?” “ When you're ready” “ but i am ready” “ no you’re not “ “yes i am “ “ no you’re not “ “ Did you choose THAT color?” “ Yes, i did” “ It's kinda ugly” “…” . A true test of patience but strangly lovable.
About 2 hours later was when the child fell asleep next to obi Wan . Anakin was still shivering , tattooine was a warm planet, something the ship heaters couldn’t compete with. Obi wan draped his long outer coat over the boy in hopes of giving him some warmth . Seeing the child peacefully asleep, Obi wan realised why his master liked him.
It took 48 hours to get to Naboo . It also took 48 hours for Obi wan to look at Anakin as his little brother.
When he first sees Maul he’s scared . He doesn’t want to be, but he simply is . Back in school him and his friends would joke about the sith and how cool it would be to defeat one . Right now , face to face with the first sith in ages , he’s horrified, and the red zebrak seems to kick on it
All he hears are the red force feels buzzing . He doesn’t hear his own scream or the blood dripping from his master . He feels an immense amount of pain, but the moment those shields lay down, he's up . He only focuses on gett to his master in time .And when he’s hanging in the hole , he snaps back into his jedi mind. The sith shows a new hubris, and he sees his chance. He wins
When qui gonn tells him his final wish , he can only lie to him . He doesn’t feel fit to be a master ,he might be the only jedi who pased the old trials ( to kill a sith ), but he feels like a fraud to weak to safe his master. Qui gon passes in his arms and obi wans let the tears fall.
He sees Anakin after he returns from his “trip” and he almost wants to cry again . Anakin looks so confused “ where’s qui gon ?” “ he passed away , anakin” The tears start to well in the little boys eyes, and all that obi can do is pull him into a hug .
The next weeks are quite hard , anakin becomes his padawan, and he becomes a jedi master. They attend qui gons' funeral, and anakins enters the academy since he needs to do both his padawan ship and the basic training. He is a bit pissy about it , but obi Wan cheers him up with home cooked meals .
They are not allowed to go on mission yet together just obi wan alone, and its extremely hard breaking to leave anakin alone .
When they are home together, obi wan pampers the little guy rotten. He brushes and braids anakins hair he buys him miniatuur planes in hopes of getting a better piolet than he is . He helps him with his homework, and he is just a total single dad .
When about a year has passed obi wan realised that he didn't know his birthday so he asked ani and he didn’t know either . They chose marche 5th because its a week from then and obi Wan can plan his birthday.Ani loved it.
Anakin doesn't make a lot of friends in school or anywhere. Which bothers obi Wan greatly , he thinks anakin is a great kid who can do no wrong. It all escalated when a child calls Anakin a slave ( obi wan does not know how they got here )
Obi wan threatens to destroy him to the boys face . He ends up crying, and Anakin isn’t bothered ever again. ( the jedi council was not happy )
And so it pretty much continues for a few years
Part 3: late anakin years
Anakin is now 20 years old, which is double the age he was when obi Wan met him .
Many people think that obi Wan is past his prime, but this man is absolutely ribbed. He has perfect physique, he’s just covered in robes and coats and stuff
He keeps extra kyber crystals around because Anakin keeps losing/breaking his lightsaber
Anakin requested black robes, and the council wouldn’t let him because of the association with the sith, and obi wan was like “ No , let my padawan express himself . Plus, I killed the last sith years ago “ so they let him because nothing is scarier than getting on obi wans' bad side
When they meet padmé again, obi Wan is almost laughing at how bad anakin is hiding his feelings for her . He also realises that he will have to talk to his padawn about it .
Obi wan gets a little stricter over the last year since anakin definitely doesn't think before he does anything
When the council decided to let Anakin go with Padme , he couldn't help but warn anakin once again. He reminds him of the problems that might occur or the heartbreak ( he's definitely not projecting)
When shmi dies, he tries his best to support anakin best he can . He doesn’t remember his parents, but he assumes it's like losing Qui gon, so he does everything he needed back then . Home cooked meals ,hugs ,pep talks, pulling him out of mission….
He noticed from the moment they set foot into the arena that they were together. On the one hand, he was extremely nervous about it, and on the other, he was a bit proud of his boy.
ALSO, he gets that shiver down his spine because he realises that qui gon knew about him and Satine, and he's a bit embarrassed about it .
He doesn't tell it to anakin because just like his master he thinks that it might be better to give them space .
He gets really offended that he wasn't invited to the wedding. He knows it was supposed to be undercover, but please
Padme and anakin will sometimes invite him for dinner as if they aren't dating, and he truly enjoys those evenings together.
He likes padme immensely . She helps to calm anakin down, and she's all around a great person .
She's also the first out of her and anakin to realise that obi Wan knows . Sadly, this happens after the wedding, so now it's like a shared secret.
Now that anakin left the nest , he gets to enjoy hobbies. He starts experimenting with cooking until Kit , Quinlan and Po are so done with it that they start ordering out . Then he gets a pet a feathered veractyle he names boga , when the planet he’s visiting allows it she will be his transport . He also keeps a variety of plants ( they remind him of qui gon) and books .he collects golden trinkets. Anakin jokes that it all goes against the jedi code, but he likes it .
HE ALSO LOVES TO GOSSIP with his clones anakin padme kit po anyone that wants to listen.
Talking about his clones , he loves them dearly not as much as anakin but like coby is one of his closest friends.
212 has tried to give him nicknames before, but it never sticks , they do like saying the negotiator in funny voices .
Obi wan thinks that his clones are the best clones, but it seems that every jedi thinks that.
He is now a jedi council member, and he still has that off feeling that he doesn’t deserve it . His ideas dont link with the others, and he feels that he doesn't have a lot of influence on it . Qui gon was never part of it, and he understands why more and more. He loves being a jedi master but kinda hates the council.
That also makes it really hard for him to help Anakin with his dissatisfaction with his position rn . Being on the council but not a master feels like the worst-case scenario, but he has to help anakin not be pissy, so he does . It is a great honor to be on the council.
He didn't know about padmé being pregnant. So he just thought anakin was so stressed out about his career and the jedi order . After everything happened as it did , he felt that he didn’t support anakin correctly.
Obi wan objected when they wanted anakin to spy on Palpetine . He doesn’t want his boy near any danger and definitely not in the front line . He yells and fights for it until it goes to a vote, just as his seat on the council, obi Wan would leave the council immediately if it meant that Anakin was 100% safe . In the end , the vote goes for the spying and obi wans demands to tell anakin himself. It doesn’t go well, obi Wan feels like he's betraying his brother.
In the coming weeks, he will see the loveable orphan of tatooine change to a traumatized war veteran, and he's not happy about it. He tries to calm him down and speak to him just like he did when shmi died . Sadly, this time, it doesn’t seem to work.
When his clones betray him , he feels fear for the first time since the deul of the faiths . Not only is he in danger, but they are in danger , anakin might be in danger . He feels his life falling from betw his fingers . Boga and some of his dear clones die when he gets back to his ship . He calls to anakin, but he doesn’t pick up . He flies to the temple.
When yoda and him visit the temple, dread fills his mind. He still didn’t receive anything from anakin and was really worried about it . They see the temple lithered with death children, and all he sees are small Anakin's death on the floor . Then they see the footage of the night before, and the world falls beneath him . Anakin is a murderer, a sith, and still his brother . Obi wan chooses to go alone to face him ….
{that one deleted scene }
The deul with anakin is the worst moment of his life. Nothing compares to it . He tries to enter with an open mind and the little voice in the back of his mind telling him to redeem anakin . Sadly hes to far gone. The deul ends with his dying friend near the fire , obi wans whole life in pieces and a almost death padme.
The birth of Luke and leia is a small piece of hope, but padmé passes away . Obi wan has no one anymore.
He's extremely happy with the organas asking to adopt leia, and he himself asks to adopt Luke, but that did not happen because of the circumstances. If the sith starts hunting jedi , Obi wan will be at the top of the list
In the end, he lives near Luke until he grows to be a jedi .
He tries to meditate, but his bond to the force is pretty much broken .
Part 4: obi wan alone
Since moving to Tatooine, he has got some new dreams . He gets flashbacks to his childhood before being a jedi, but the worst once are the anakin once . They all start the same , meeting ani quick flashes through their years together and then Mustafar .
He believes that he killed anakin and that he burnt to death .
He has mixed feelings towards his actions. On the one hand, he as a jedi had to kill him, but as his brother, he is simply broken.
He doesn’t think of himself as a jedi anymore. Over the years, he has come to question the jedi order . For how they treated anakin and ahsoka even padme . He promised to himself that he wouldn’t teach Luke to throw away his emotions.
When darth maul shows up on tattooin, he's in some strange way. Sorry for him . They were both just children raised for war , he wished partly that they could have got Maul out before Naboo or that he wouldn’t hold the anger he had towards him for the death of his father . He took a deep breath and let it go . In the end, Maul died in his arms , the same way he had hoped he would have pulled anakin up after their duel.
He tries to meditate again in hopes of connecting to qui gons' spirit or anakins . He hopes to apologise to anakin to pet his hair and tell him it's alright to get one last evening diner with padmé and Anakin . From qui gon, he just wants comfort a long hug or a smile that shows him he’s proud of his padawan, even a home cooked meal .
He starts working as a butcher for sand whales . In the beginning, he used to walk there, but then lars pointed out that that was really suspicious for the other people in town . So he went shopping for a transport that was nice and easy to maintain . That's how he ends up with his eopie Akkani .
Akkani is a bit of a lazy animal , she just wants to eat and walk and eat again. He's happy he has a pet, tho because he gets a bit lonely.
He keeps all of his jedi things in a chest in his gave , including his own lightsaber and 2 sets of beads . One set is his own padawan braid beads, and the other are anakins . He also has some other stuff such as qui gon' s old kitchen knife and some pictures of his clones scrabs of r2d2 when he needed repairs a feather of boga some model airplanes anakin used to play with and so on. ( NO BURYING IN THE DESSERT I HATE THAT)
He really wants to train Luke, but Lars won’t let him . Which hurts obi Wan a lot . He wouldn’t push Luke to be a soldier like the once before , he would connect him to the force just like qui gon wanted with Anakin .
That's why he started reading up on the ancient scripts about the jedi . He loves the Yawa sellers just because he can buy his books without the empire noticing.
He will wait forever in hopes of setting the universe back to balance for the mistake he made on Mustafar.
This took so long and its not even all of it .( i left out the kenobi series because i didn’t want to rewrite it and i couldn’t figure out how to add to it without rewriting it srry)
Also i wrote a little obi wan reacting to ahsoka being Anakins padawn not that long ago ( link below )
And i left his later relationship with satine and maul out because it might be a bit long . If you want that you can always ask in my requests ( i do have some thoughts about those)
16 notes · View notes
classychassiss · 1 year
Text
The Orion Pax episodes in TFP are interesting because they make good angst fodder on the surface level, but they've become more unsettling to me with time and a rewatch.
The first time I had missed entirely that Optimus was on Nemesis for months and not days like I thought. It sounds really good on paper to think of it as Megatron getting his old friend back but like...theres a two-fold wish fufillment thing going on here and thats: Orion Pax being his loyal and subservient Decepticon (as opposed to the Orion Pax who would argue with him and attempt to declaw his more extreme ideas) and having the pleasure of humiliating Optimus Prime by undermining him in front of the Autobots. And all of this happens with no memory and no sense of autonomy on OPs part, just the creeping sense of something being wrong.
And I think there is something sad about this in the sense that Orion Pax was never a Decepticon in name, but if things had been different he ultimately would have been. It isn't just about Megatron and their relationship to me, but its also the death of the cause and trying to come to terms with that. There is an immense guilt foisted upon Optimus that the revolution turned into a war. He knows he has to do what he has to do to keep the Autobots safe, but he also never 100% closes off the possibility that he could try to end this war diplomatically with Megatron if it means potentially stopping more carnage, nor does he 100% close the channel off for Decepticons to potentially work with them/defect to them. I wouldn't be surprised if a facet of his insistence on these morals is partly because of the guilt stemming from the party split and wanting to affirm that the Autobots are not the enemy, he is not an enemy, and that he does still believe in the core premise of the movement.
But then you see Orion Pax on screen threatened by Megatron, get beat up by Megatron's soldiers, and then eventually by Megatron himself, all while sporting a Decepticon badge. And you have to kind of sit there and think about the idea that Optimus might be his obsession, but that Orion Pax's worth is...questionable. It is a shame that Optimus doesn't retain the memories once he gets the Matrix back because like, I have to imagine this would have been another shattering epiphany that perhaps this perception of their fallout and the fallout of the revolution is still colored by that guilt, but that things were interpersonally broken long before then when it comes to Megatron.
Which is to say that its unclear if his treatment on the Nemesis as Orion Pax was a consequence of their war and the hatred Megatron has specifically for Prime and the Autobots or if this was always going to be the reality of how things would have played out regardless, the idea that Megatron has always had the ability to potentially hurt and discard Orion Pax down the line if he had pushed too far, even during the height of their friendship. One that Orion Pax vehemently defended even in the wake of some terrible things because he trusted Megatron at his core. One where Orion Pax did actively see the red flags but was led to believe that many of them were planted in bad faith by those who would undermine his friend and his movement for simply being a Gladiator. Only to then have all of that come back and bite him all over again.
Now you really have to question if the Megatron you thought you knew ever existed.
57 notes · View notes
iqmmir · 6 months
Text
I am having muu thoughts
#.mimiming ❜#my milgram thoughts#basically about how she. just goes along with things#like her idea of friendship being 'letting your friends do whatever they want and giving them things (haruka and her school friends)'#she reminds a bit of mahiru#going along with popular ideas about love and friendship and how it should be#instead of like. communicating with their boyfriend / friends#she's also sort of. how do i say it. insensitive? im not sure uh#like yk in after pain she responds to her friend saying they like what she gave them with smth like 'i dont need it anymore but im glad you#like it' like. i dont know but thats sort of. do you usually tell people that this is something you dont want when giving it to them?#she does the same with haruka ('i gave him a hairclip i dont wear anymore')#like. i dont think decent hearted people who know her would mind since she means well but her friends. bullies.#they would see it as her sitting in her high horse. especially if she speaks like that often#there's also her idea of bullying 'ive never hit anyone or pored water on them'#and im pretty sure thats not all bullying is??#like. her friends did bully that girl in the rooftop and she was also there. and WE know thats bullying#but i dont think shes aware?? its like. she has a certain idea of how friendship is. she has a certain idea of what bullying is#she doesn't know how far is too far and how little is too little and whats socially acceptable#shes like fuuta in that aspect he didn't know when to stop when exactly he went too far#she also has like. this idea of what the victim is supposed to be like. yk. small cute was bullied for seemingly no reason except jealousy#her thoughts are less 'what they did was wrong because bullying is wrong' but more 'what *i* did wasnt wrong so they must be wrong because#*I* am the victim they must be the. whatever the opposite of victim is'#but its not like shes completely blind to the idea that she was in the wrong#in inmf shes shown to be the queen bee centre of attention leading others along destroying them when they don't follow#any instance of her getting bullied are completely gone in the mv#sorry i forgot where i was going with this#i am simply thinking about her#do you now see why i don't even attempt to make character analysises?
12 notes · View notes
vilelittlecritter · 1 year
Text
Me: "I don't like people, I prefer being on my own and not talking"
People: "oh okay we'll leave you be then"
Me: "wait no PLEASE COME BACK I WANT LOVE-"
#its not that i dont like people. its just that i have resorted to avoiding people out of habit and a sense that i make things worse#like its not that i DON'T want to message my friend. its just that I cant bring myself to since i usually dont#ha ha ha. god i am desperate to just speak to people but I want to be left alone and im scared of people turning out to be mean#i kinda feel like crying when i see people say how they love their friends and cuddle up with them and have fun#lol one of my old best friends caused me to have awful anxiety about myself because he judged and made fun of ke constantly#oh yeah and that other time after i broke up with a friend because we stupidly decided to try and date and it didnt go well#the bastard asked the person out that night. they said no because they aren't an ass or dumb. god i should have left him when he said that#oh yeah he also made fun of my sunny cosplay i did and then left me alone in the comic con crowd for half an hour#as someone with anxiety that fucked me up just a little#so yeah bad past friendships and terrible social skills have left me to just go lol cant get hurt if i dont have friends!#ha ha. this is agony.#i have like one actaul friend i talk to and she's going through some stuff and wants to be left alone#which is understandable but now I'm talking to absolutely no one#also even if i were to talk to people i just feel i make things worse#i feel like im obnoxious and weird constantly and I'm sobscsred that people are going to think I'm creepy#its not that im doing anything super weird its just that with my autism I can get overly excited and start rambling and not thinking#yet another reason why I've chosen to stop speaking as much#im also just really snappy sometimes#I remember a while ago someone i was kinda friends with asked me if i was okay and i said i was fine#they kept pushing because they were concerned and no ones ever really done that so i kind of panicked and raised my voice at them#i wasn't angry i just never had someone try and actually pry that deep before other than maybe my parents#they seem like a lovely person but i still feel so horrible for doing that to them#sure i apologises later and they understood but i felt like it was one of the most awful things ive done to someone#i hate even the thought of being cruel or mean and all they were trying to do was help and i snapped at them for it#sorry for being ranty but I'm starting to think im really not okay#I've pondered the idea of possibly having deppression but thats a conversation for my counselor#again sorry for sumoing and ill probably delete this soon#if anyone has read all of this im honestly impressed#personal rambles#vent tag
26 notes · View notes
cantofworms · 1 year
Text
.
#ok ik all the hot take asks are pre much done and the sparkly say smth nice asks are better but well I’ve been having thoughts all day at#work and want to get them out now so that’s what I’m doing lol#obvs for the past few months i think ppl are vv heavily leaning into the dnf /r and I firmly believe that they aren’t#like yes I enjoy being a multi shipper but I still primarily read dnf fics bc they’re cute dnf writers and artists MWAHH ilysm#but it’s been increasingly annoying how every move dnf make ppl hyper obsess over it and ignore everything else like blog what u want this#is tumblr dot com but I think ppl how only see dnf thro the lens of romantic do much more ‘harm’ than ppl who dont#like the argument about taking validation out of their very REAL amazing friendship just gets over shadowed by omg Dream posted a pic of#geogre they’re in LOVE and sucking and FUCKING every night. like#and then completely disregard when dnf do and say the exact same shit about all their other friends#like dream has explicitly said they aren’t dating (ignore that tho) amd that’s he’s kissed multiple ppl since coming out (ignore that too)#and their friends naturally say that they’re all single (ignore that too) idk man it’s ok they like to pander amd that dream is a toxic#dnfer but it’s all just For Funsies. another thing is ppl CONSTANTLYYYY putting geohres sexuality under a microscope oh he drinks lemonade#from Starbucks he’s soooo gay like dumb shit like that is so irritating#the fact that geogre has never once talked about his sexuality except that one instance where he got a DONO about it proves how much it#just doesn’t matter or apply to the type of content creator he is/wants to be#to be clear if he is or isn’t or dnf every explicitly announce their romantic relationship im gonna be sooooo happy and supportive like aw#dnfogies🫶🏻 but I think there’s a 99.9% chanve that’ll never happen so maybe we should all just care a Little Less and focus on out lgbt#creators if that’s smth u wanna watch/blog about idk maybe I’m just burnt out from the phandom but whyyyyy does is matter what their#sexualities are they play minecraft who cares who CARESSSS idk maybe just having older brothers around dtqk ages has made me realize that#guys will just act homiesexual no matter What#guys are just Like That and tbc I’m not saying that just bc gnf hasn’t made an official coming out doesn’t mean he’s not queer but for the#sake of his contwnt it doesn’t matter either way ? so why are ppl talking about it on the daily idk man it’s just annoying but Oh Well#at the end of the day they’re all famous white guys and nothing matters hurray !!
16 notes · View notes
themyscirah · 1 month
Text
Started thinking about the Amanda Waller + Ben Turner relationship again.... fuck, I'm gonna need a minute
#I JUST- SHDIAUDJSHDSHEYEYRYRYRY guys. guys#i know none of you see my vision and thats okay. i will make you see my vision. i will force you to see my vision. i will-#like jesus fucking christ oh my god. its so interesting and gives me so many emotions and just!!!#i know im not making sense bc none of my moots are sui sq fans and also like half of the content fucking me up specifically here is in my#head because i cant stop thinking about my absolute power fix it au but like!!!!!!!#also the fact i have a fix it for a comic that isnt out yet is so funny to me. its literally fucking real though. god knows we need it#may my own content carry me through the dark times (extreme villain waller arc)#anyways this fucks me up so bad you dont even know. someday ill actually explain it#dc hire me to write a suicide squad ongoing PLEASE. i could do it so good it would be so fucking good dc PLEASE 😭😭😭😭😭😭#also like this isnt me shipping them btw. like 110% not that. just to clarify.#i wouldnt even call it a friendship bc like. theyre not friends really. he has the most equal dynamic with her i would say but it still isnt#equal. shes v much his boss even though they have an understanding and respect there#like she believes and trusts in him much more than anybody really even himself. like she sees the good man and the leader even when he#doesnt. but she isnt nice about it. and there is a lot of conflict between them when there needs to be#like as much as ben is “wallers man”--the team leader she wanted from the beginning before rick flagg pushed his way in#ben i would say is still a very moral person even when lost and unsure of himself and his goodness (which is like one of his main things)#like i feel like while amanda can lean very into a “the ends justify the means” mindset in her worse moments and do bad things to get#herself out of a corner ben has like a deep and meaningful understanding of how the choices of your methods and how you act can weigh on you#like even though he was brainwashed and whatnot (thats still the story right? i cant remember) he holds a lot of guilt and baggage over his#actions and i think is able to temper amanda's worse tendencies in terms of that by calling her out when he recognizes that behavior#idk. i just really think that amanda waller and the suicide squad as a whole has lost its way without a more moral authority presence there.#like someone who can call her out and keep them more on track. which i really thing ben is and could be#i just very much am interested in their dynamic and how that would look like as equals and how i think they could help each other.#which ofc is what my wip is about and revolves around#blah#sui sq
2 notes · View notes
nomaishuttle · 7 months
Text
uninstalled all the dating apps which ws like 8nof them . in the morning ill tell the guys i was talking to that i overestimared how ready i was and hopefully theyll understand andnjust drop it
#i dont feel stable enough for like . any relationship platonic or romantic andnit fucking..rly sucks bc i want to have friends but like#with what happened with daj the other day im like. i dont think i can be like . idk. ik daj said it was ok and she understood but im so#upset that i lashed iut abt that and i keep trying to get into therapy but i fucking..cant find one. at all#im trying to be more reasonable witj mymoney and i know like. i need therapy bc i Need to work this out and i am not able to work it out#with myself. i need to see a professional abt this . so ik it wouldnt be frivolous to spend money on a therapist if i cant find one in#network. bc the in network thrapists dont accept/dont specialize in working with patients with bpd which i like. thats..my issue. im almost#posiitive. ive done a lot of research and it matches up with like . all of my experiences#ik everybody feels unstable after a breakup buti genuinely like. i dont feel whole. and im looking back on how i treated myself and thiught#abt the relationship and its like. i stopped talking to all my friends i stopped talking to my family i literally dropped out of school i#moved across the country i dropped any interest that we didnt share i literally like. i gave up fucking everything and thats not. healthy.#and he never aksed me for that and its not fair of me to resent him for me doing that bc he nevrr asked me to#but i feel like. everytime i think abt him it feels like im being torn in half like . i put him on so incredibly high of a pedestal i#literally thought of him as perfect that was..recurring. and when i was upset with him i took it out on myself horrifically and thats not#normal . and jow thinking abt him literally physucally hurts bc theres still that part of me that thinks hes perfect and that im a mistake#and a failure and i didnt Be connor right. and then theres a part of me that . doesnt think of him that way#and its just like. aughhf. even outside that relationship im looking back on past friendships and how like..obsessive i get with them#and then when they 'betray' me i just. immediately turn on them and like. thats not normal..#and my sense of identity is um. Well you guys have seen. you know.#ive looked into it a lot and i rly think i have it and im not like. 100% positive but i feel like even if i dont itd be good to work with a#therapist who Has experience with that. since the experience is so similar. yk. idk#i just feel insane and i feel like bod would make like. so much of my life and the way i act and the way i react to things like..it makes#sense when i look at it as if i have bpd. and if i dont it literally seems completely irrational and erratic like. IDK. so basically i need#a therapist who can work with that but none of the ones in network specialize in that and then i was researching and found out a lot of#therapists specifically Dont work with bpd patients and like. judge their peers who do for woriing with bod#which is 1. Actually disgusting 2. Straight up stupid 3. Terrifying. so i only want to work with a therapist whi explicitely says I#specialize and work with patients with bpd 👍 but i literally could only find 1 and theyre out of network and its 15p for visit and id#prefer to do weekly visits if possible but thats . 300 per paycheck for therapy . biweekly itd be better but thats still 150. and i have to#save up for the trip home and then the new apartment immediately after#and i have to get credit card .#and in an ideal world id hold off on the therapist until i get my new apartment so that i can fully focus on coping with myself and learnin
2 notes · View notes
tchaikovskym · 9 months
Text
My coworker: I've heard different opinions about the barbie movie
Me: oh yeah bad and good?
My coworker: yeah, some say it's a really good movie and the others say it's such a feminist movie
And that's how I came out as a feminist at my work
4 notes · View notes
pankomako · 9 months
Text
sometimes i think about interactions boat and i have had and things he's said to/about me over the years and it makes me feel as though i must occupy some little space in his heart. like i live in his mind rent-free the way he does for me, although not nearly to the same extent lmao.
speak of the goddamn devil i just got a steam notification he's playing tf2
anyway i never thought i'd have that kind of effect on a person, much less my favorite content creator. but it sure appears to be that way, and idk. it makes me feel special. warms my heart n all that :)
#was one of two people to give me their phone number when i had to drop off of discord 2 years ago#never took advantage of it though (shy (also we have different brands of phones so texting probably wouldnt work right#other person was an irl friend (never contacted them either#i remember one time YEARS ago when he was wanting to read jjba on stream or smth like that#him: it's like REALLY not family friendly me: well i shouldnt watch bc i am a Child him: no its ok you dont have to skip It's very dirty th#like guy clearly just wanted me there bc he enjoys my company And he's said he does! i remember him saying he likes seeing me in chat#and once again he was the one that wanted me on the staff team when usually the staff pick new recruits and boat has final say#and apparently he's talked about me to his other friends. that's kinda where the old Time to Mod in-joke started#he was using voice to text to talk to whoever and said my username but the thing misinterpreted it#that coupled with the meme drawing i did that he edited so it's him just saying 'pain'. eventually that dumb fucking image spawned#and then there was the night he spammed it and spam mentioned me in chat when he was streaming while i was ASLEEP#once we were in a vc and he was like 'wow i'd forgotten what your voice sounded like' NEVER heard him say that to anyone else. What#dont even get me started with him and my artwork (man would probably flip tf out seeing what i can do now LOL)#guy literally wanted ME to design an official tff logo but at that point they were kinda slowing down so it never happened#but yeahno i just. ugh. our friendship means a lot to me. i am ITCHING to speak to him again you have no idea#and to just give him a big ol hug. been wanting that for such a long time#quite frankly a friendship dynamic like no other ive seen#dont mind me REMINISCING. im sooo sappy about him he's the most important guy in the world to me#if god exists he knew we'd be too powerful if we grew up together
3 notes · View notes
videcoeur · 8 months
Text
c an i just say i love how Luffy doesn't care about Usopp saying he defeated the arlong pirates but also validates him in the same breath I mean
Luffy is unconditional love incarnate
6 notes · View notes
s0fter-sin · 1 year
Text
i genuinely think the lov are the most human and well written antagonists in modern media
#bnha#the league of villains#so often antagonists are presented as the final versions of themselves#already all powerful and a threat to the protagonist#but the lov are still growing into themselves#every single one of them has theyre own layered character with individual wants and desires that compliment each other#you buy that they would work together and feel their relationships change as time goes on#from being more selfishly focused to working on their joint goals#they talk to each other the same way the protagonists do#like in kamino when compress asks who can do distance and spinner says kurogiri and dabi but theyre down#theyre organically learning about each other#magnes death while abrupt leads twice down his road#twice dying for his friends isnt hollow bc you really feel that they are his friends and that he loves them bc they took the time to develop#their friendships#and his death believably sends toga into a tailspin#the anime dropped the ball with spinner and shigaraki but their relationship is also important and so well done#even when spinner is completely clouded by the quirks hes been given he still remembers and wants to help the guy he played video games with#it humanises shigaraki when hes at his most monsterous#even the way compress and spinner are surprised that dabi is touya theyre not surprised that he is theyre surprised he didnt tell them#which just goes to show how much they tell each other when we dont see them#i cant think of another set of antagonists as well written as them and i think its bc theyre treated asthe protagonists of their own stories#coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt#go beyond plus ultra#the lov#shigaraki tomura
16 notes · View notes
meringuejellyfish · 2 years
Text
currently i like to think that maybe qifrey and alaira met during a silver night festival .. if it is true that they are childhood friends then maybe they became best friends in the whole world that night but thought they were never going to see eachother again. but then uh yeah i mean the great hall isnt that big i think. they found eachother again eventually and then 20 years or so pass and theyre still very good friends. alaira is also probably very passionate about magic and they could talk about it forever .. they just seem very comfortable around eachother even if they dont get the chance to see eachother often these days
#allisters atelier#i like them#man. when is alaira coming back#i want more of alaira and qifrey friendship but also just of her because .... we know ultimately nothing about her#who ... is she !!!!!!!!!!#growls#anyway. i think that they met and became friends when they were likee late teens maybe#but based on how alaira greets qifrey in her first appearance it seems to be implied that she is also a childhood friend like olly#''it's been some time since you last set foot on the seabed... young dissident of the great hall'' ''days long past alaira''#in a fan translation she calls him a problem child and hes like hey that was a long time ago. im normal now (lie)#alaira apparently also grew up in the great hall now that i think about it so yeah probably childhood friends#i dont mind it they just feel like people who met when they were a little older#one thing is for sure though and its that theyve known eachother for a very very long time. and are very comfortable around eachother#i like how qifrey has uhh 3 close friends. and thats all he doesnt really go out of his way to interact with people#man they gotta invent discord for witches. qifrey and alaira have been around eachother maybe twice in the manga#and qifrey literally lives with one of his friends and still goes days at a time without really seeing him due to their schedules#and responsibilities#so sad. if they had wizard discord then qifrey could send olly pictures of brushbuddy and olly responds with thumbs up emojis#teenaged alaira and qifrey playing minecraft for 11 hours straight but also qifrey has the worst mic in the world#eh. what was this post originally about
2 notes · View notes
noriakicatkyoin · 2 years
Text
The thoughts i hv about fujimoto and his characters one day ill be able to put them into words
#for now i reread his look back one shot and cry ab it#that one post saying how kyomoto reads as autistic and i go oh. screams.#godddd look back is like peak. its like the embodiment of my thoughts. the way that no matter the way the content is dressed at its core is#the inherent grief of knowing other people and having limited time in every relationship you have with everything and everyone around you#and how that time while you may grieve when its over it shouldnt be regretted and should push you to keep going#like i love how he writes relationships so much#its not oh everything is all about love oh we all need romance and love it is the core of our being how will we live without it#and instead its just he just shows all these varied and changing relationships and what they mean to different people#and how the relationships people cherish affect them and make them better in the long run.#and the majority of these relationships that he shows as actually beneficial being platonic. oh im just crazy now huh#look back is about 2 friends. csm centers on a friend group/family dynamic. goodbye eri is about 2 friends and a family#like yknow. its. its WEIRD its refreshing to me like its not groundbreaking maybe but like#i dont see relationships explored so casually so normally and made so important and theyre friends and platonic every single time#i dont like watch romance linger on the horizon and it turn into that and become some mess of tropes like#a lot of ppl i dont think really explore nuance in friendships. the weight and different kinds of friendships there are#aki has an older brother dynamic w denji and power. denji and power VERY easily read as qpps. kyomoto and fujino are best friends#and yet all these stories about their ties to each other are so heart wrenching and make u so invested in their relationships#i enjoy it !!! i just enjoy it. who cares how technically good it is. i dont. i like it and its fun and new to me and feels great#screaming in the tags#youve given me unnecessary feelings#im not putting this in any main tags i dont need ppl trying to communicate with me about things#rohan rambles#ig#yeah bc i need to find this later
6 notes · View notes
sepiacore · 1 year
Text
not to vent or anything… actually i’m totally gonna vent. i’ve been going to therapy i’ve been seeing my psychiatrist consistently… doing all the work to get better and yet i still feel that there is a void within me. actually i think it’s gotten worse. i’ve been talking less and less. i’ve stopped talking to the point where i’ve forgotten how to interact with others. i just feel like a zombie. i can’t think of anything to say and even if i did it’s incredibly boring. idk i feel so BLAH. ugh i just want to be normal.. whatever “normal” is :(
#mew.txt#vent#i just feel so fucking boring and i know that i am but idk how to get back to how i used to be…. i wasn’t always this bad with talking…#idk if the 100g of zoloft i’m taking has even helped… i’m still just as suicidal as before.#also i still rlly struggle with intrusive thoughts like they seriously ruin my life lol#i ask my therapist if they will ever go away and he’s always like of course they will ☺️#i feel like he’s just trying to fluff me up#i’ve been struggling with these thoughts for so long#i dont see them ever going away#ik other people with ocd and their intrusive thoughts have never gone away#i hate having my brain#also ANOTHER THINGGGG#i struggle so so so so soooooo hard with making and keeping friends#i don’t think i’ve understood the concept of friendship ​ever since i was a child#like…. it’s bad#i so desperately crave relationships with others… but i just don’t know how to do it#how to start friendships#how to keep them#idk#you’d think i’d understand all these things by the age of 21 but here we are.#i’m just so tired of everything 😭😭#and my suicidal thoughts have gotten so much worse recently….. like i actually almost did it .. i had the pills and everything..#ultimately i didn’t do it bc i know i don’t ACTUALLY wanna die lol but still i’ve NEVER EVER gone that far before#and i think im only like this bc of the meds km on#i just hope to be happy or just not so suicidal yk??#if anyone reads all of this ur crazy hahaha#i have more i wanna vent abt but i can’t put it into words#WHICH IS ALSO SOMWTHING I SERIOUSLY STRUGGLE WKTH#MY THOUGHTS ARE SO HARD TO PUT INTO ACTUAL WOORDS 😭😭😭#ok…. i’m done :3
0 notes