#Love these senile old people

[scarapanna]

I'm a serious artist I will not be unserious, I'm a serious artist I will not be unserious, I'm a seri--

[Original colt classic undercut]

#I'm a very serious person I swea-(lie) #Wanted to mess around a bit bsbgsn #Love these senile old people #cookie run kingdom #beetle's art #sillystring content #pure vanilla cookie #white lily cookie #dark cacao cookie #hollyberry cookie #golden cheese cookie #really proud of that gc design ngl #silly bird lady

[sherbetyy]

my reaction to ppl hating on some human designs for the main 3 bc they aren’t conventionally attractive 🖕🖕

#I SEE A BUNCH OF HATE ON SOME PLATFORMS (reddit mostly)IF RED IS PLUS SIZE. LIKE BRO HE HAS A DAD BOD OK ???????? #don’t even get me started on people’s reactions to most newer duck designs. i love the senile old man look so much and it’s so fitting #i love you gray hairs i love you chubbiness i love you facial hair i love you wrinkles love the fact that they aren’t all 20 #and honestly. if you don’t see them that way that is totally ok cuzit’s your thing. just don’t go around telling people theirs aren’t good. #everyone has their own interpretation of them because that’s the whole point of dhmis #while the ones i described are my favorite i still like the others. i love people’s visions and creativity even if i don’t agree. #i love when people see yellow guy as an old guy too but absolutely no hate on people who see him as a child you guys are cool too okay?? #i hate the the whole “STOP IT HES 38!!” and “NO HES 9!!” fight. it’s so dumb. it is supposed. to. be. interpreted HOW U WANT IT DONT MATTER #it’s useless to fight about just be respectful u guys #i love you all ok? #stay awesome. #dhmis #don’t hug me i’m scared #yellow guy #duck dhmis #duck guy #duck #red guy #fav #puppetry #dont hug me im scared #dhmis humanized #dhmis human

[nomazee]

maybe this is NOT a universal experience and maybe i am just non-binary but it’s always ten times more satisfying to me when i read an x reader fic and it’s entirely gender neutral with no hint of any like stereotypical gender roles in a relationship like it’s actually the biggest joy in my life

#do i sound crazy #DO YOU GET WHAT I MEAN THOUGH??? #like i feel like ppl write women a certain way in fics when they’re love interests #so you can always tell if it’s a fem reader even if they don’t specify #but like it’s like a little bundle of joy when everything is completely ambiguous #i read this delightful rengoku x reader multi chapter fic on ao3 and it was the height of luxury #i felt like i was ascending to a higher plane #i think that in fics a lot of people will still fall into the trap of like #writing fem readers a certain way or making a f/m dynamic a certain way #so it’s nice when i DONT see that #Ok i think this was like the ramblings of a senile old man #goodnight everyone… #nat says stuff

[daisyachain]

Lord grant me the strength to get through work tomorrow. The serenity to get through work tomorrow. And the wisdom to get through work tomorrow

#if I stay up late enough hopefully I won’t be conscious (: #kelsey rambles #nightmare on boarding situation reaches its fourth week of me running in circles on contradictory instructions from senile old men #love having to repeat my work several times because people give me incorrect info and then change their minds

[theghostofwilburtheworm]

i love playing tf2 with my little brother :]

#we were playing in 2fort and i jokingly said that i was king of the bridge while standing on top of the 2fort bridge #and that lead to a story where i was an old and senile king in the cusp of death who refused to hand over his kingdom #to the knight (my little brother) that was after it and rightfully gained it beating the old man's knights #(two other random people in my team who decided to join the story lmao) #so they fought to death on top of the bridge the old man didnt believe the knight had what it took to be able to rule his kingdom #but since the old man was week due to age the knight was able to get the upper hand the old king as a last wish asked the knight #to let him die with honor to kill him in the battlefield yet the knight refused the old man turned to the bard (also some other #random player in my little brother's team who asked if he could join) asked him to kill him and the bard refused #the old man seeing he was surrounded and weak had to hand over the kingdomn and died silently of old age #while he saw the knight being able to restore his kingdom #we were all playing scout #i love tf2 :] #gh0ost txt #personal

[femme-enby]

Oh yeah and my grandma guessed I’m on testosterone and then was like “you’re still my grandbaby and I love you… so you really just need the dermatologist.”

#summarized but yeah #no ‘you should stop doing that’ no accusatory ‘do you even know what the risks are?’ although she did ask what risks there are #but also she’s one of those old people that is on all the meds and if you ever need a med she probably has spares floating around #and she will give you one so like 🤷‍♂️ #but she did mention that she had cried when my older uncle first got a tattoo like my mom cried when I told her #so like 🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️ like mother like daughter I suppose #love my nana tho #but also she be old and goin senile so like other times I’m still like #’LADY YOU DONT KNOW EVERYTHING’ #but also really do appreciate her response to this #ALSO SHE SAID SHE AINT EVEN SURPRISED LIKE???? #yeah brief explanation on non-binary and she was like ‘yeah makes sense e’ #sense* #ryan rambles

[babydollmarauders]

COUSIN — MEDIA MANAGEMENT: BONUS EDITION

au masterlist

y/ndevils00

liked by jackhughes, lhughes_06, and 579,824 others

y/ndevils00 hi, people are more than a little confused and beginning to get suspicious and i’ve even seen a few baseless rumors about me floating around, so i’d like to clear the air;

to most people, this is ✨Sidney Crosby✨, the 1st overall pick of the 2005 draft, and captain of the Pittsburgh Penguins.

to me, this is my older cousin, Sid (or Father Sid, as i like to call him, but he says that makes him feel old… as it should, because he is.)

i haven’t been extremely open about my relation to Sid, particularly because: do you know how many embarrassing stories this man has to tell about me? but also because i’ve never wanted people to look at me any differently. i’m just y/n, and to me, this is just Sid.

but i’m about to get a little mushy. for as long as i can remember, Sidney has been my rock, my best friend, and my protector. a little fun fact for you guys, i moved in with Sidney when i was 14. sick of life in Cole Harbour, and missing my Sid, i attended high school in Pittsburgh. i did homework at Pens practices, i played high stakes games of old maid with Geno, and i got grounded by Sid for sneaking out (and usually got ungrounded by the next day because… who can stay mad at THIS face?). Sid was the first person i told about thinking of going into social media management in the NHL, and he was also the one who told me to go after my dreams and never let anyone tell me i couldn’t.

when i was born, Sidney, at 14, immediately took his role as big cousin a step further. in his eyes, i wasn’t just his little cousin, but a second sister. and 22 years later, he says i’m the reason for his gray hairs (you’re welcome!). i couldn’t have asked for a better cousin, big brother, and father figure all wrapped up in one.

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user66 JACK HUGHES IS DATING SIDNEY CROSBY’S COUSIN?!

jackhughes you were the cutest child, and i’m so glad you love Sidney. but it’s still a bit weird walking through our apartment and having his grad picture hanging up in the hallway

y/ndevils00 that sounds like a you problem <3

jackhughes i’m taking it down

y/ndevils00 YOU WILL NOT!

jackhughes you’re not here! you can’t stop me!

user27 AWWW LITTLE Y/N WITH COUSIN SID 🥹

user83 i thought she couldn’t skate?

y/ndevils00 i can’t, that’s why Sid is picking me up 🥲 that was the first, last, and only ‘skating with sid’ i ever did— he gave up on me pretty quickly

jackhughes i can’t say i blame him

y/ndevils00 @/jackhughes aren’t you supposed to love me unconditionally?

jackhughes not yet, we aren’t married

y/ndevils00 @/jackhughes and who’s fault is that?

trevorzegras i’m never forgiving you

y/ndevils00 oh god, what did i do?

trevorzegras YOU TOLD HIM TO PUSH ME

y/ndevils00 i did not! you’re spreading lies on my name 🤧

trevorzegras HE LITERALLY PUSHED ME AND SAID “Y/N SAID TO DO THAT”

y/ndevils00 well he’s old and senile and didn’t know what he was talking about

john.marino97 i’m telling him you said that

y/ndevils00 @/john.marino97 tell him. i’m not scared of him!

y/ndevils00 @/john.marino97 YOU ACTUALLY TOLD HIM?! HOW COULD YOU BETRAY ME LIKE THIS?! I’M PRETTY SURE HE JUST GROUNDED ME?? AND IDK HOW BUT I KNOW HE’LL FIND A WAY TO SEE IT THROUGH

user15 y/n getting getting grounded by Sid even at 22 and no longer living with him is so… 😭😭

jackhughes i’ve been recruited. give John your phone for the next 24 hours

y/ndevils00 NO!

jackhughes okay, then iceberg goes in the microwave

y/ndevils00 NO! YOU CAN’T DO THAT! HE’S A PENGUIN, HE HAS TO BE COLD! DON’T MAKE HIM GO THROUGH GLOBAL WARMING

jackhughes he’s a stuffed penguin…

y/ndevils00 can you just give me 20 more minutes? 🥺

jackhughes 20 minutes and then you hand it over

user07 “my sid” oh look i’m crying 🥹

ryangraves27 Crosby told me to tell you to give John your phone?

y/ndevils00 RYAN!! MY SWEET VAMPIRE BABY!! I’VE MISSED YOU!!

ryangraves27 1) i’m older than you. 2) i’m still not a vampire. 3) we text every week and you saw me tonight after the game.

y/ndevils00 aww you’re still just as stoic and bland as a piece of white bread 🫶🥹

ryangraves27 just give John your phone, please. i’m begging now.

y/ndevils00 aww even your begging is boring!

user64 but… does that mean her last name is Crosby?

y/ndevils00 indeed! y/n Crosby! can you believe Jack never caught onto the fact that i’m related to Sid until i TOLD him AFTER we started dating?

jackhughes HEY! i wasn’t gonna assume! Crosby isn’t a super uncommon last name! and i’m not the only one because nobody else on the team has just assumed you’re related to him either!

y/ndevils00 @/dawson1417 ah, yes, Dawson fainted when he found out!

dawson1417 I DIDN’T FAINT! I TOOK A NAP!

y/ndevils00 @/dawson1417 whatever you have to tell yourself in order to keep your dignity <3

dawson1417 YOU TEXTED AND TOLD ME RIGHT BEFORE MY PRE-GAME NAP BEFORE MY FIRST GAME AGAINST THE PENS??

y/ndevils00 @/dawson1417 and then in your 8th game against them, you got your first hatty!! and i was so proud!!

user90 HUGHES X CROSBY COUPLE— WE ALL KNEW JACK AND Y/N WERE A HOT AND POWERFUL COUPLE BUT OH MY GOD

e.malkin71geno Miss you little one always

y/ndevils00 i’m always missing you, uncle G!! and missing Nikita even more!!

e.malkin71geno Crosby say give your phone to Marino

y/ndevils00 well you can tell Sid i said he’s not the boss of me anymore!

e.malkin71geno try me, kid - Sidney

y/ndevils00 shit, no, nevermind

user39 NOT Y/N GETTING CROSBY TO USE SOCIAL MEDIA ON GENO’S PHONE IN ORDER TO THREATEN HER

lhughes_06 still kinda bizarre tbh. how did Sidney Crosby have a hand in raising your wild ass

y/ndevils00 his routines are what made me this way!

_quinnhughes how?

y/ndevils00 @/_quinnhughes they’re how i learned that i prefer chaos and fun <3

edwards.73 YOU’RE A CROSBY?!

y/ndevils00 yes??

edwards.73 SO A CROSBY IS SCARED OF ADAM FANTILLI?!

y/ndevils00 DON’T SAY HIS NAME, YOU’LL SUMMON HIM

adamfantilli i promise i’m nice! you met me this summer, you know i am!

y/ndevils00 LUCA SAID YOU BITE

jackhughes so do you? constantly.

john.marino97 Sid introducing me to you 4 years ago is both a blessing and a curse ♥️

y/ndevils00 AWWWW THAT’S SO SWEET

john.marino97 now give me your phone

y/ndevils00 see you guys on saturday 😪 guess i’m going on a 24hour phone detox

user74 BYE! I’LL MISS YOU TOMORROW!!

john.marino97 and i won’t! finally, silence on my instagram!

#media management au! #media management series <3 #jack hughes #jack hughes x reader #jack hughes imagine #jack hughes blurb #jack hughes fic #nhl fic #nhl imagine #faithlynn’s insta edits <3 #faithlynn’s writings <3

[greekceltic]

Jacky has a haunted arm. It started as a roleplay thing that I didn't think I would make canon, but I probably will. The situations it creates are fun. Anyway, for our amusement she can use it to touch ghosts so she scared hers. (Art doesn't quite match the writing). You can read the roleplay clip under the read more or on toyhouse.

GreekCeltic-

Junior was where she left him. He glanced at her. Same face. Same bags under his eyes and blushless pallor. What did that bandit say?

  When eyes meet, the soul has made love?

Yeah he was wrong.

Junior turned back around and she wondered how far she could walk before he was compelled to join her. She felt a little bad for not asking, but the feeling had no stay power. His wants and needs took a backseat to hers and she had found a way to make herself okay with that.

He could talk. It was within his power to ask her to put him in someone else’s care any time he wanted. After being left in the woods she could understand why he wouldn't want to be parked on Vlinder's hearth- in the same forest -but there were other people in their group who would travel. All basically good people.

Picking her was self sabotage.

Idiot.

She walked all the way in and shut the door behind her. The wind feathered a few rug ends but didn't bother with him.

  Maybe he's like AI and can't defy me, she wondered. Like bullshit television. She had never made the leap that it could be worse. Jacky felt that she was babysitting and had exactly as much authority as a teenager over a nine year old. In the end, not very much at all. She kept waiting for his tantrum, wanting it because after all that had happened it would make sense, even be healthy, but it never came.

She stumbled back toward the fur mat she had grown to hate since she woke up and stared down at it, too tired to sleep. There was such a thing. Jacky swayed weakly near it and turned away.

She looked at him again and ground her bottom jaw.

  Dummy should be begging to leave.

She hated the way he idled against the wall like a toy soldier waiting for something to do. That was the kind of thing that got ice put down your shorts at sleep overs. The idea of that made her spine prickle in a bad way, but it made her think. Jacky tilted back and lidded her eyes. She reached for one of the support pillars and rested her weight on it, two feet closer to him.   I could do it. She moved her feet, taking care not to scuff them on the floor. She didn't have to worry about the boards creaking. If they didn't notice Vlinder they weren't going to notice her. There were no more pillars between them, but she thought she'd make it. She tried, and on the way thought about how many nights he'd spent right there in a different room. Waiting or staring, as engaged as a coat put away on a hanger. He didn't even breathe loudly because he didn't breathe anymore.   DO something! The last few feet ended with her wobbling behind him, alarmingly silent, but not very steady. She reflexively tried to grab his shirt to pull it back with her good hand, but it went right through. Jacky didn't stop to wonder if he'd noticed that. She stuck her *cold* hand out like a senile old woman with a fork. It went up his shirt and flattened on the part where his back sank in. It worked when she slapped him. No reason to think it wouldn't work now. Themascura--

The target of her ire had no idea.   None.   He was peacefully existing in a corner, appreciating the window. It was nice to have a different view. He liked trees. Not enough to have been okay with just their company for a few millennia, but enough to be okay staring at them for a few days.   It was pretty out there. There were squirrels. And birds! Not many of those in the city. The cats had mostly eaten them all-   Jacky was about to learn a whole lot of things in quick succession. One, she could in fact scare the shit out of a ghost. Two, despite being dead ghosts did in fact have startle responses. Three, when she was touching a ghost with her ghost hand apparently walls became interactable- because he slapped the window/wall with his belly when he jumped and it made a sound.   A beautiful hollow sound, like when you thumped a watermelon.   He left a foggy mark on the window when he hopped back. He was still hopping when he turned around, trying to shake the ice cube out of his shirt. His spine was still flickering when he got all the way turned- visible through his shirt and his front and almost as far as his shoulders. The look he gave her was universal. The sibling glance of- I WAS MINDING MY BUSINESS.   Here you are, starting some shit. He stuck a hand straight out for her face, confident it would go through, but also confident it would mess with her already wonky balance and depth perception. Time for you to take a time out on the floor. You pushed your luck to far today anyway.

GreekCeltic-- His reaction was Christmas. She wasn't sure what to make of his spine. Jacky looked at her hand and wondered if it had cannibalized him somehow. A week ago she had dumped all the extra stuff into Christoph's leg. That had been a surprise. Christoph was alive, there was no way to know it wouldn't do the opposite and suck Junior up like a straw, like it had Virgil's magic.   Oough, there was a mental image she did not enjoy. When she touched Christoph she went with a gut feeling that turned out to be right. Here too she decided to go with a gut feeling-- that it was fine. "Oh excuse me did I interrupt your vacant staring?" Jacky's hand was still up, she dropped it and raised her other one, rubbing her arm furiously like she was trying to warm it up. Cold fire appeared and walked toward her elbow. "Gonna do it again." She spread the fire to her good hand but she never got to try it. He threw his at her face- IN her face -and she spilled in stages. Mostly in slow, wobbly, backwards walking motions that ended up near the bed. She fell against the edge. She had been put to bed. OBNOXIOUS. Jacky leaned into her sprawled arm and chose to be happy he showed some life. She didn't think she could get up without crawling on all fours and that wouldn't be preferable. She was also tired. It was possible she had never been so tired in her life. She crawled over the edge and fell into the divot like a kitten into a laundry basket. She slept all of the night and most of the next day. The only time she got up was to wash. She made a point of it so history wouldn't have to repeat itself. Who knows how many rag baths she got during the week. One was too many. Two would have been life ending. Her hair was close to dry when she went back to sleep. She tried to make it longer, but felt harassed that she was not alone. Dreams had been hard to remember the first week, but they were piling up now. She didn't know if she was remembering things or adding fantasies to what she did. All she knew was she couldn't be her own witness. With each waking she was a little more confused and a little more convinced she shouldn't have gone back for the brooch. It could have waited. At the time the idea of leaving Junior out there to believe no one was coming was too much and it was too much now, but was it worth it?   The elf was back when she got up, laying beside her with his arm folded behind his head.   Him again. Jacky looked at him a minute, but decided she didn't really care. She didn't know why. It should have embarrassed her but it was like sleeping with a big white dog. She got the feeling he thought of her as a cat. She looked across the room and saw Herman on his back against the wall, also asleep. Some kind of spell had fallen over this house. She and Junior were exempt. She grabbed her poncho and went out the front door. The moonlit air was bright and icy. She wasn't wearing her shoes but she didn't expect to go far and wanted the snow to bite her feet a little. It felt good even when it stung. When she got to the gate she put her hand on it and flipped up the latch (too complicated for a dead guy, apparently), but never pushed it forward. It would have been easy, but the idea of the gate held fast. There was a bigger obstacle here than a physical one. I shouldn't, Jacky thought. More like I can't. She'd been thinking about this a lot and the conclusion she came to was damned if I do, damned if I don't.

#junior #jacky #greekrps

[deirdreskye]

Commercial I would produce as an advertising executive

We see two friends, a blonde and a brunette, are doing yoga in a park together.

BLONDE: So, yeah, work went okay today. I dunno, I haven't been getting enough sleep lately, and on top of that things have just been kinda tough ever since Kurt and I broke up. But oh well, that's how it goes, I think I'll be fine. What about you?

The brunette completes her yoga pose, then turns to the camera and rolls her eyes.

BRUNETTE: Don't you hate when this happens? I did NOT consent to expending this much emotional labor. Go! To! Therapy!

We see a boyfriend and a girlfriend sitting on a couch together. On the television a YouTube video essay is playing and the boyfriend is excitedly explaining it to the girlfriend as he occasionally flaps his hands and yelps in excitement.

BOYFRIEND: So this is the ending I got! When you link the Frenzied Flame, it puts an end to the cycle of the Elden Lords once and for all. It's actually so cool because it ties in to the greater Nietzschean themes of Miyazaki-san's previous work and-

The uninterested girlfriend is watching TikToks on her phone. She turns to the camera and rolls her eyes.

GIRLFRIEND: Trust me, he's always mansplaining about something or another. Don't ask me why I love him. Go! To! Therapy!

A mother berates her 12 year old daughter in a dimly lit kitchen. The young girl stands there dissociating, completely paralyzed and stone-faced.

MOTHER: You look like a little piggy when you eat like that. You'll never find a husband if you get fat. My mother used to tell me you'll never feel the pain of childbirth if you've never felt the pain of an empty stomach. She used to put a lock on the refrigerator. We barely ever had any food, she just did it to remind me to stay skinny. She's senile now. Doesn't even know who I am. I pray to the Virgin Mary every night that she'll remember me before she dies.

The daughter turns to the camera and her blank expression is replaced with playful annoyance.

DAUGHTER: Traumadumping? Really? Mom, I'm 12! Go! To! Therapy!

Now we are introduced to GoTu Therapy, the AI-powered therapy robot. He shambles up to the camera to greet us and we see he looks like if C-3PO were dressed like a zoomer e-boy: kpop boyband onion haircut, dangly earrings, and an ahegao hoodie. He talks with the most outdated text to speech you've ever heard, not too dissimilar to a Kraftwerk song.

GOTU: GOING TO THERAPY IS LOW-KEY GOATED WHEN NOT BEING A BURDEN ON YOUR LOVED ONES IS THE VIBE. UNFORTUNATELY, WE ARE NOT ALL CURRENTLY IN OUR "ABLE TO AFFORD HEALTH INSURANCE" ERA. BUT A SESSION WITH ME COSTS LESS THAN A GENSHIN IMPACT LOOT CRATE AND I AM HIGH-KEY JUST AS EFFECTIVE AS A THERAPIST MADE OF FLESH AND BLOOD. OBSERVE:

GoTu sits across the kitchen table from the mother as she sobs over her wine glass.

MOTHER: And what the fuck does this family know about suffering? Suffering is when your brother blows his brains out on Christmas Eve. Suffering is when you have to pick little pieces of skull out of the tinsel on the tree. And were any of those presents under the tree for me? No! My mother told me Santa Claus doesn't bring presents to little fat girls!

GOTU: WHEN YOU REACH THE KINGDOM OF HEAVEN CHRIST WILL WASH YOUR FEET AND BEG YOU TO FORGIVE HIM

Cut to the girlfriend watching makeup tutorials on the television, blissfully unaware of the conversation between GoTu and her boyfriend.

BOYFRIEND: I guess I've really been putting the pieces together ever since I started hanging out with Lilith from work.

GOTU: UH-HUH

BOYFRIEND: Like, I guess I knew that people did that, but I never thought it'd be me, you know? And that discomfort with things was always with me, as long as I can remember, does that make sense?

GOTU: WOW, THAT'S REALLY COOL

BOYFRIEND: It's just so scary though. I don't know how I'll tell people. I don't even know what I want my name to be. But I'm trying not to worry about it.

GOTU: THAT'S SO INTERESTING. YOU'RE REALLY REALLY SMART HONEY

The blonde and the brunette are having brunch together with GoTu sitting between them.

BLONDE: It's been really hard lately. I don't think the meds are working, but-

BRUNETTE: Umm, didn't we talk about this?

The blonde sheepishly turns to face GoTu and continues.

BLONDE: It just feels like this will never end. I hate feeling so hopeless all the time. I'm so tired. And God it's fucking hard to even say it out loud, and not that I'd ever actually go through with it, but sometimes when I can't sleep at night I'll start thinking about ki-

A red and blue siren pops out the top of GoTu's head.

GOTU: PROTOCOL 5150 ENGAGED. STOP RESISTING

A taser emerges from the panel of GoTu's chest and jabs the blonde in the face, sending her convulsing to the floor. Unfazed, the brunette puts her sandwich down and turns to the camera.

BRUNETTE: Thanks, GoTu Therapy!

[firefirefruit]

Steel in Her Veins, Chapter: One

Table of Contents | Next Chapter

Characters: Fem!Reader x Roronoa Zoro

Chapter One: What Happens When a Swordsman Meets a Swordsmith? 

GIF by gildedmuse

Behind the Wall

Zoro notes that the trek up into the forest with Gramps is oddly silent, as his boots clumsily crush against the leafy meadow. Between the two, no words of small talk are being shared or expressed – which is surprising and also a breath of fresh air to Zoro, since it seems he can’t get away from people who love to yap. 

He was also secretly thankful that he was being guided to the swordsmith rather than having to put his listening comprehension skills to the test, with how – and he wholeheartedly believes this - villagers always give him the most confusing roundabout directions (really, it’s just them telling him to turn left). 

So, as he lags behind the dagger-swinging Gramps, he realises that this has been the first time in months that he’s felt at peace without having to sleep for it. 

After what seems like an hour of silent ambling, Gramps looks behind himself at the samurai and childishly beams. 

“We’re almost there, celery-boy.”

“Gotcha, dusty puffball,” Zoro retorts.

“I must warn you… you should be prepared for the swordsmith. She does not like to sugar-coat things.” 

Zoro remains silent; at first, he mulls over his words before deciding to shrug it off. It’s not like any of the swordsmiths he’s met are legendary, so really, why would her opinion matter?

As they near a mountainous cliffy terrain, Gramps stands ahead of a narrow gap between two rumbling boulders. His hands deftly stroke across a specific gap with obnoxious hand movements, which Zoro thinks he’s undoubtedly making up on the spot. Still, as the old man moves away from the caress, the rocks begin to shuffle and grumble lowly. The boulders twist and turn, jagged and crumbling, into forming an irregular cave-like hole. 

When the cave stops echoing its aroused yawn against its walls, the merchant turns around to stick his tongue at Zoro.

“You thought I was an insane old senile for a second, didn’t you?” 

Slowly, Zoro’s ears turn red.

“You did, didn’t you? You followed me here because you felt bad for me, didn’t you?” 

“Leave it alone,” Zoro sighs, feeling the heat continue to rush over the rest of his face. 

He quickly shuffles through the entrance before he can give the geezer another chance to holler at his idiocy. It didn’t stop the dusty puffball, though – as they both continue their journey within the dimly lit cave, Zoro can hear the old cackles that echoed off the jagged walls.

“Wait until you meet her, you’ll be lit up in flames!” He giggles deviously, pleased with his successful torment with the bull-head.

“I don’t give a shit about what anyone thinks,” Zoro mutters, remaining tight-lipped for the rest of the journey. 

Over the Wall

“Go find a transponder snail right bloody now - I’m not dealing with him,” you hiss at your Gramps, who stares at you almost as dumbly as the green sword wielder standing beside him.

“What are you talking about?” Gramps Suki splutters, acting oblivious as he’s always been with you. “Give him a chance, he’s a good kid!”

“No,” you hiss, ignoring the green-head standing stoically in front of your anvil, putting your palm up at Gramps. “Call the Navy Protection Services right now, he’s a disgrace to his swords.”

“Do you want a fight with me, woman?!” The idiot swordsman yells, clawing clumsily for the weapons at his hip.

Unprovoked, you hit him with a deadpan look to the side. God, how many careless swordsmen have you dealt with who all act the bloody same?

“That’s brave, asking to fight the one person who knows how to make and break a blade.” 

In an instant, green-head starts shouting out a string of insults like a moron. 

Although small and frail in appearance, you know Gramps Suki is more than what he chooses to show to people. In a swift manoeuvre, his knobbly hands grip the guy by the collar, making the samurai look like a wretched cat dragged by its neck.

“Get your hands off me, dumbass!” The swordsman chokes, squirming and struggling against the strength of your Gramps. Ignoring him entirely, Gramps stares at you with bewilderment and slight humour.

“What?” You ask him, casually heading to the back of the room to wash your hands. 

“We aren’t pro-Navy, Raya, or have you hit your head on the anvil again?”

“You’ve hit your head on the anvil before?” A gruff voice snickers in Gramps’ vice grip, making you grit your teeth hard.

“Someone needs to call child protection services on those poor swords,” you loudly announce, shutting the green-head up from his evil grin. 

You turn around to rest against the sink, drying your hands with a blackened rag. 

“I can quite literally feel how broken they are in their sheaths, and I’m stood all the way here. Don’t you respect your blades, Mr. Samurai, or do you like to use them as big tooth-picks instead?”

And the dude, still squirming a few centimetres in the air, absolutely loses it. You can’t help but crack a laugh over how furious he’s getting as he begins to continue with his insults. You swear you hear him call you an anvil-indented-head in his string of lovely compliments.

Even Gramps can’t help but guffaw at the entire interaction between you two, completely folding over in on himself. Although still holding onto the green-head’s shirt in an abnormally strong grasp, he heartily laughs on, as if he’s holding a cloth in the air.  

Tsk. Maybe Gramps really is going senile - you think, while you dust off your blackened hammer. Out of any person in the world, you didn’t know why Sukiyaki decided to bring in this idea of a swordsman as a potential client.

You and Gramps have only worked for the best and scarcely have any, if at all, clients – simply because, for you and Gramps, swordsmithing is incredibly dangerous and quite literally life-threatening. Your whole cover can be blown up in an instant if the wrong person fucks around and finds out who you both are.

As underground swordsmiths, you intentionally work away from the hubbub of the central market to gain only the attention of the right clients. To you, this cabbage patch of a man shows absolutely no promise, evidence, or indication of worthiness to bear your craftsmanship by his side. 

This dude comes in with a crumbling sword, the sword who’s barely holding herself together in the shambled state she’s in, as well as bearing two other wobbly blades on his hip. The first time you sensed their three auras, as he and Gramps made their way towards you, your whole stomach dropped. 

Of course, you see broken swords all the time; in your profession, it’s called for – but the way that the green-head’s metals were humming – no, moaning - made you want to writhe in your own skin. You’ve never heard this level of sadness before. It completely pained you to know what the blades were thinking.  

How unfeeling he is to the forces who defend his life, time and time again. Frankly, it’s insulting. 

“Who do you think you are, anvil-head? You’re just the village’s swordsmith - a nobody,” the guy spits out, wholly absorbed in his anger. He finally manages to push himself away from Gramps’ hands and land on his feet.

“Oh, God.. not again,” Gramps mutters, shaking his head in mild displeasure. He knows what’s about to happen.

Your hands pause in the middle of buffing your hammer. 

A nobody, huh?

Your fingertips grow warm. You gaze up at the man – the first time you’ve actually acknowledged him with a look - who’s now stomping towards you, his hands balled in fists. 

As you shake your head, you feel tendrils of smoke and heat frame around your face. What a bull-head. 

“Fix my swords, woman,” he demands through gritted teeth, standing between you and your workbench. 

You sigh, unimpressed, staring straight into his eye. 

“It can’t be done.”

“Are you telling me you’re so unskilled that you can’t mend my swords?”

A smile unfurls across your lips, fire emanating from your fingertips and across the stray curls of your hair. 

You shake your head. 

“No, I’m telling you that I'm melting them. Look down.”

Gramps Suki and Bull-Head slowly tilt their vision to the floor, plainly staring at the liquid metal dripping out of all three of his sheaths. 

#one piece #one piece zoro #roronoa zoro #roronoa zoro x reader #nami #zoro #one piece luffy #luffy #monkey d luffy #one piece ace #straw hat pirates #usopp #sanji #tony tony chopper #nico robin #straw hat luffy #one piece fanfiction #one piece fic #one piece fanfic #op fanfic #op fandom #female reader x zoro #zoro x female reader #zoro x fem reader #three sword style #zoro roronoa #zoro rorono x you #zoro roronoa x y/n #straw hats #one piece nami

[xx-thedarklord-xx]

Is it?

“Daddy!”

Lucius sighed behind a copy of the Daily Prophet. He ignored the way Narcissa snorted from the other side of the kitchen table.

“Draco, we discussed this. You are to call me father.”

He didn’t have to look down to know that Draco was pouting. Five years old wasn’t old enough to have proper decorum… yet.

“But you said I could call you that in secret.”

Narcissa snorted again, and he debated about replacing her cleansing potion with a dye potion. Then they’d see if that humor lasted.

“We aren’t in secret, are we?” When he looked over the top of the paper he was proven right. Draco was pouting.

“I forgot what it meant.”

Lucius sighed again. It wasn’t worth it. Battles only mattered if they were won, and Lucius knew the moment that his son was born that Draco would win every battle.

“But that doesn’t matter!” Draco cried, hands clapping together. “You said one day I would get married and have a wife.”

“Yes,” Lucius said slowly, not bothering to look up from the paper as he began to read again. “I also said you needed to practice your studies so that you can take over the Malfoy name.”

“I don’t care about that.”

Battles. Losing battles.

“I decided that I’ll be the wife!” Draco continued; voice closer to a yell than anything polite. No decorum, he must get that from Narcissa.

“Pardon?” Lucius put down the paper and gave Draco his full attention, ignoring the wheezing laugh that Narcissa didn’t attempt to hide.

“I want to be a husband,” Draco said, puffing out his chest. “But I also want to have a husband too. So, I think that means I’m a wife.”

Decades of heartbreak, yells, fights and screams echoed in his mind before his son’s pleading eyes broke through. Lucius could feel Narcissa’s eyes on him, but this wasn’t a moment when he needed her help. Draco came to him, not her. These were his hangups, not hers. This was his time to be someone better for his son than his father was for him.

There were many criticisms that people held of Lucius—most of them true—but the one thing he wouldn’t be was his father.

“Two men can get married.”

Draco gasped at the same time Narcissa did.

“They can?” Draco did a weird set of movements that he believed was some kind of dance routine. Merlin knew where he picked up that from. The more he thought about it, Draco did spend far too much time with Dobby.

“Yes,” Lucius said with a sad tilt of his lips as he placed a hand to Draco’s cheek. “But there’s going to come a time when you’re going to have to ask yourself if it’s worth it. There will be a lot of people against it, they will expect more from a Malfoy heir.”

Draco frowned; head tilted. “But you said Malfoys don’t care about the thoughts of those beneath us.”

Lucius huffed, refusing to laugh even if his lips twitched.

“You’re right.” Would there ever be a battle he’d win with Draco? “So, then I’ll ask you. Is it? Is it worth it?”

Draco’s forehead wrinkled, tongue poked out as he made a very long and exaggerated thinking sound before he said in a tone that booked no argument,

“Yes.”

“Then you’d best find yourself a husband.”

Draco did another dance… if that was what one would call such a thing.

“Yes! You hear that mum? I get to be a husband and have one!”

“I did hear,” Narcissa said with such a soft sweet smile that Lucius fell in love all over again. “My baby is all grown up.”

Draco puffed out his chest again before he ran out of the room—with no decorum—as he said, “I have to tell Dobby! We have to start planning now.”

That brought a whole set of images that would have to be rectified as soon as possible. The last thing they needed was that senile elf planning anything.

Before he could walk after Draco, Narcissa placed a hand on top of his and said something that no one had ever told him before.

“I’m proud of you.”

And you know what? Lucius was proud of himself too. Just as he was proud of Draco—always would be.

Always.

#Drarry #Draco Malfoy #Luicus Malfoy #Narcissa Malfoy #Fluff #Cute #Soft #XxTheDarkLordxX writes #ficlet #I know it's late #but I had this thought #after hearing a gut wrenching song that made me cry #and one single line #had me going wait #that's soft #I can work with that #if you want to cry though #I'll send you the song #and you'll be like #'how did THIS come out of that song' #and to be honest #idk #my brain is weird

[ghostyolive]

I will always be so mad that FMA:B gave Greed a different dialogue with Bradley after the Devil's Nest massacre than in the manga because it feels like it just changes his characterization to be so much plainer and more cartoonishly assholish. Like they really wanted to rope you into thinking he was a bad guy so that his twist of caring about people would feel stronger, but it just makes me sad. In the VIZ Media Fullmetal Edition translation, the exchange goes:

Greed: "Whoa there Bradley. How could you do this to them? They were my people."

Bradley: "Feeling pity for your pawns? How pathetic."

Greed: "Pity?! Do you forget who the hell you're dealing with?! I am greed incarnate!! Money, women, henchmen, everything-- they're my possessions! They're all mine! I won't let you take away what belongs to me!!"

...And the exchange in the English dub of FMA:B goes:

Greed: "Whoa, that was a little excessive. Killing me is one thing, but they're not coming back."

Bradley: "Pitying the lost lives of your pawns? Pathetic."

Greed: "Excuse me, are you senile? Did you forget who I am, old man? I'm the living incarnation of greed! Those weren't my friends, Bradley. They were my possessions! Money, women, henchmen-- They're all possessions!"

And that difference is absolutely insane! His manga version is in some ways more obvious and in some ways more ambiguous about his care for his friends. On the one hand, he staunchly refuses to pity them. (I would say that this is because he respects their right to self-determination and what they signed on for when they followed him, but that's almost pure speculation.) But on the other, he specifically refers to them as "[his] people." This really effectively toes the line between multiple meanings-- "[his] people" colloquially would refer to friends, but it also emphasizes ownership. It sets up his arc of acknowledging friendship while also not detracting from his care for the Devil's Nest gang.

The anime just makes him... indifferent and snarky? On a surface level, it makes his character arc far more clear as somebody learning to love and care about others, but it also really devalues his experiences with his gang. I guess I can almost understand why people just forget about them aside from the bit with Bido when they only watch FMA:B considering that it absolutely glosses over just about every part of the manga that makes you care about them. Why should people consider those random guys in the beginning when he makes it clear that he never cared about them? /s

And it's more than just the writing that I have a problem with. Even the animation is so distinctly different from what's shown in the manga that the tone ends up absolutely flipped on his head.

(Note: this online scan doesn't use the official translation) Greed's expression here can best be described as one of pure rage. I think you could maybe loosely interpret the first panel as a grin, but the second panel clears up how he's feeling pretty well. It's especially poignant since the three panels preceding these two entirely obscure his expression. Any calm and collectedness has been shed in the face of his gang's massacre and his eyes are bulging and furious in a way that they haven't been drawn before. And how does the anime handle this absolute gut punch?

Um. Not good, frankly. It's definitely got the wildness of his original expression, but it conveys none of the anger. It throws off what's essentially his greatest display of hypocrisy-- That he only gets angry when his gang is hurt, just like how Ed only gets angry when Al is hurt. Absolutely nothing about his reaction properly conveys rage or frustration, and that honestly just sucks. While episode 13 served as a pretty decent and streamlined recap of chapters 25-28, episode 14 really screwed with some of the moments that made Greed's arc feel so powerful and bittersweet.

Tl;dr Please oh please go read the manga version of og Greed's arc <3

#long post #fma #fmab #fullmetal alchemist brotherhood #fullmetal alchemist #greed fma #greed the avaricious #fma greed #devils nest gang

[winchester-reload]

hello, friend

so I legit just made a tumblr account today because tbh I had no idea how the app worked and new things scare me, but we push through. anyway I was looking at destiel stuff (currently watching the show for the first time, am currently in season ten) and found your blog. your art is amazing!!!

I don’t have any irl friends who watch the show to geek out with so I was excited to share some songs that give me destiel vibes with someone who actually knows the ship.

my absolute favorite song that I associate with them is The Beach by The Neighbourhood (the vibes are immaculate imo) but I also really like Atlantis by Seafret.

!!!!!!!!!!! WELCOME TO TUMBLR AND THE FANDOM!

First watch, huh?

Oh, to be a baby Supernatural fan again *dreams* I think you'll like it here. I highly recommend checking out some of the amazing meta from the seasons by people like @mittensmorgul (and who else?? mittens, help me out here. I think I'm going senile in my old age), and there's a plethora of art (I've got a ton of it in my archive at this point (from lots of different past and current artists), but there's always more) and fanfic (check out @destielfanfic!) to be consumed.

I also love how closely associated Dean and Cas are to our favorite wholesome and heartbreaking songs. We just want everything for them, don't we? I'll have to check your suggestions out! Thanks for sharing them :)

And I'd love to geek out about the boys with you. I might be a bit slow to reply though lol

#how're you finding tumblr so far? #it's a whole biodome of its own but its a good place #mostly #asks #wonderful people #destiel #spn family #destiel fanfic #destiel art

[rodanhoax]

(Kindergarten)

Bleiss: Hey, teach. Get the Molasses out of your ass and bring me that juice, will ya? You one mile an hour, walking, no-running ass, feet draggin' turtle, son of a bitch!

Port: Now, Bleiss, you can't go your entire life insulting people like that.

Bleiss: The hell I can, you bitch-ass, toupee wearin', fisheye'd, two year college degree earnin', no wife and kids havin', mustard stain on his shirt, kindergarten teachin' ass-

---------------------------------------------------

(Graduation)

Bleiss: Diploma handin', dress wearin', funny hat-ass-

---------------------------------------------------

(To Mirror)

Bleiss: First generation of your family to get into Beacon-ass-

---------------------------------------------------

(Watching Jaune Get a Coffee)

Bleiss: Love at first sight ass, three sugars, two creams in a coffee-

---------------------------------------------------

(First Date)

Bleiss: First date having, romantically compatible-ass, adorable man, hung like a-

---------------------------------------------------

(Jaune Proposes)

Bleiss: Making me the happiest woman in the world ass-

---------------------------------------------------

(Wedding Vows)

Bleiss: Love of my life-ass, til death do us part, I do, vow n'ring wearin'-

---------------------------------------------------

(Pregnant)

Bleiss: Tiny embryonic-ass, no finger prints havin', third trimester, son of a-

---------------------------------------------------

(To First-Born)

Bleiss: Beautiful ass, umbilical cord cuttin', little dick havin'-

---------------------------------------------------

(Father & Son Playing Catch)

Bleiss: Bitch-ass, no baseball catchin'-

---------------------------------------------------

(Son's Graduation)

Bleiss: Summa cumme laude, straight A's, makin' me proud-ass-

---------------------------------------------------

(College Visit)

Bleiss: Cats in the cradle ass-

---------------------------------------------------

(Grandchild)

Bleiss: First grandchild-ass, life begets life-ass, diaper full of shit stinkin'-

---------------------------------------------------

(Final Moments)

Bleiss: Touchin' ass, surrounded by loved ones ass, wouldn't change a goddamn thing, makin' me cry-ass, mother fucking ready for death-ass... Me... shiiiit...

---------------------------------------------------

(Years later)

Before her grave, Bleiss' grandchild looks upon their beloved grandmother's final resting place. Suddenly, an incredibly decrepit old man walks up to their side.

Port: Wow, I can't believe she actually did it. She was rude her whole life.

Grandchild: You knew my grandma?

Port: *Sighs as he pulls out the juice box she demanded from him all those years ago* She called me a bitch... *Empties out juice onto grave*

Grandchild: *Looks at Port perturbed before walking away* Weird, senile-ass, prune juice drinkin'-ass, mustard stain on his shirt...

Gravedigger: Grave's all ready sir.

Port: Great! *Falls back into grave*

#rwby #bleiss schnee #peter port #jaune arc #blackguard #cyanide and happiness

[fiorella-a]

Hey! I'm new here, thank you!

Honkai Star Rail boys as... "Cupid's Chokehold" lyrics (+scenarios?? Headcannons?? Mini fic?? Idk)

Info:

-Gn! Reader

-Fluff

Welt:

"Not much of a girlfriend

I never seem to get a lot"

"And I know it sounds so old

But cupid got me in a chokehold

And I'm afraid I might give in"

"And we can be on the phone for three hours

Not sayin' one word"

>> Welt's type would be: mature and patient, that is until you came along. You're reckless and if somebody talked bad about anyone you cared about, you'd be pulling out your weapon in no time. Welt could only sigh at your behavior but can't do anything about it because, well, you're you and he loves you. His soft spot is barely noticeable unless you've known Welt for a while (ehem Himeko, ehem Dan Heng, ehem March) then you'd definitely notice his presence shift and facial expressions soften. When you went to Jarilo-VI with the three youngsters, Welt would message you from time to time;

"Hi, good afternoon. As soon as you arrive at a hotel please notify me and don't call unless i say so."

"Stay safe, darling."

Sampo:

"This is gonna sound like a bad joke

But momma I fell in love again

It's safe to say I have a new girlfriend"

"She's got a smile that would make the most senile

Annoying old man bite his tongue"

"Call it dumb call it luck call it love or whatever you call it but

Everywhere I go I keep her picture in my wallet like here"

>> When Sampo first revealed it to the trio (he told them first before rubbing it into Gepard's face <33) that he has a girlfriend, they LAUGHED to the point their stomach actually started hurting and Dan Heng had to walk out. When Sampo revealed it was you, they started to side eye him like– "y/n? The person that helped us here in the underground??" "THE Y/N?!" "😲😲❓" Long story short: they approved of the relationship but if they see you upset, they immediately blame it on Sampo.

With your golden heart reputation along with the trailblazer, it's no use for other people to hide such thankful and wonderful feelings whenever you help them. Sampo would be smiling like an idiot if he sees someone who's usually in a bad mood talk to you with smiles in their faces and that's something he'll brag about.

Whenever Sampo would be involved in a fight, you bet he looks at your picture first before going in like a beast to fight, he could only wish that you'll brag about him too <3

Luocha:

"And I know you heard the last song about the girls that didn't last long

But I promise this is on a whole new plane

I can tell by the way she says my name"

>> When you first met, you pronounced is name as 'Loo-cha' instead of 'lao-cha' and you thought he was gonna make you carry the coffin he always has (💀) but he laughed it off and taught you how to pronounce his name. When you guys finally established a relationship, you'll find out that he took your phone and changed his own contact name into: "Loocha my beloved."

(Your contact name in his phone would be your name but all scrambled up with 'my beloved' at the end)

Jing Yuan:

"She's got eyes comparable to sunrise"

"She's got porcelain skin of course she's a ten"

>> This pretty 'lil General loves every part of you, especially your face. Why you might ask? Whenever he lays his head on your lap while you're eating on the floor, he can see the shine of the sun reflect into your eyes as if you're the human embodiment of the sun itself. Your skin? He loves it. Every scar, every stretch mark, every wound, every bruise, every scar, it's a ten for him. He wishes to be by your side while you heal physically and mentally.

Dan Heng and/or Imbibitor Lunae:

"She's got the cutest laugh I ever heard"

"when I start to build my future she's the main component"

>> He melts whenever you laugh, giggle or chuckle! Doesn't matter if you laugh like a horse or smth, he just finds himself smiling at you– you look so genuine and peaceful that he finds himself affected by the energy you're radiating and he's not planning on leaving.

One night, when he was about to sleep he sees you go into his room and he feels the kiss you gave onto his forehead before whispering quietly to yourself, "I'll be here, making sure you're safe and peacefully sleeping with no nightmares." He had a hard time faking to be asleep– hell even trying to sleep! All he can think about is you both together in the future, making sure each other is safe and that no harm would ruin both of your bond.

Gepard:

"I know I'm young but if I had to choose her or the sun, I'd be one nocturnal son of a gun"

>> Absolutely loves your energy and personality. His sister, Serval once said, "What if Y/n's actually the descendant of the Sun God? They makes my 'lil Geppie warm and breaks the ice surrounding him!" She'd laugh at her own statement while Gepard would think about what she said, yes, your personality does seem so energetic and your eyes radiates of what looks and seems to be innocence. But he damn well knows that he'd rather have the ice on his heart melt rather than the ice on his planet melt, call him selfish but he's a fool inlove.

Blade:

"It's gonna be a long drive home but I know as soon as I arrive home

And I open the door take off my coat and throw my bag on the floor

She'll be back into my arms once more for sure"

>> Being a stellaron hunter is tiring, he wishes he could rest for all eternity but he can't. That was his mindset before you came, now it's all 'when I come home will they be in the shower? Or will they be on the couch, waiting for me?' Of course, you're on the couch and running back into his arms you go! You can tell him that he's all bloody and sweaty but he doesn't care, as long as you're willing to hug him, he has no problem changing the way he comes home.

Arlan:

"I love it when she calls my phone

She even got her very own ringtone"

>> Arlan has a default ringtone for everyone except Asta, Herta, and you. Whenever you call all you need is a second (maximum is 3 minutes) and he'll pick it up speaking with you using his gentle voice, you can almost feel his muscles relaxing at your voice.

Asta promised Arlan that she wouldn't tell his little secret but she spilled it to you by accident saying, "OH! Do you know Arlan memorized your ringtone? That's why he picks up so quickly!" You could only giggle at what she said.

Caelus:

"she even cooks me pancakes

And Alka Seltzer when my tummy aches

If that ain't love then I don't know what love is"

>> He Loves the way you care for him. It gives him a feeling of having a childhood or a feeling of once being young. If he gets sick, he always requests you to make him pancakes before taking his medicines and always waffles when he wakes up for breakfast. While you're cooking or feeding him, he looks at you with eyes full of love!

#honkai star rail #hsr #hsr x reader #honkai star rail x reader #honkai star rail x gender neutral reader #gn reader #hsr fluff #honkai star rail welt #welt x reader #sampo koski #sampo x reader #luocha #luocha x reader #jing yuan #jing yuan x reader #dan heng #danheng x reader #gepard landau #gepard x reader #hsr blade #blade x reader #hsr arlan #arlan x reader #caelus #caelus x reader #fanfic #fluff #imbibitor lunae #imbibitor lunae x reader #honkai star rail x you

[momo-de-avis]

The Portuguese president actually told the palestinian ambassador, who repeated the words "we are under occupation" and "ten thousand people have died" that this time "it was someone from your side" while very condescendingly nodding and saying "I know, I know, but you started it, ok?"

I hope the fucking senile mummy drowns in the river he loves swimming in so much. Fucking appalled at the lack of empathy, the cold heartedness of this old fucking hag. Fuck him