#NOT the 'here's how to make your autistic child (because if you're researching this you must be a parent) less of a burden on you'

[differenteagletragedy]

Our Life headcannons

-- Cove has at least one child who is autistic and nonverbal. He becomes a master at communicating with this baby, and whenever they are able to use their words he absolutely loses his mind. The first time he hears an "I love you"? Crying, screaming, flat on the ground, bawling his eyes out. Let someone in public try to make any kind of remark if the kid has a meltdown. They will not survive.

-- Derek asked you to prom "as friends." He asked you what you were wearing so his tux could match you, and he got you a corsage too, "as friends." Did it seem kind of like a date? Of course it did, he'd had a crush on you for years. But he was very insistent on the "as friends" part and even if you had a crush on him too, it kind of made you think he couldn't ever see you that way at all.

-- Going to watch a movie with Baxter? Lol, no you're not. Boy runs his mouth trying to be cute and you can never follow the plot because he's sitting beside you with that little smirk, trying to make you laugh and look all adorable. If you really want to see something, leave him home or at least learn how to tune him out -- even if you do he'll keep going.

-- Cove doesn't like to drink but when he does he will not. Shut. Up. He's not like Movie Baxter, he just keeps saying whatever comes to mind, no filter. No real memory on how to properly structure sentences either. He just really needs you to know literally every single thought that pops into his head so please just listen to him, hey, are you listening?

-- Do you want a dog? You better if you end up with Derek, because y'all are getting a dog. It doesn't matter what kind it is, he'll be taking that dog on runs with him, he'll be doing research to get it the best kind of food and to figure out what kind of environment it thrives in. Did he just get another subscription box for the dog even though he already gets one? Yup. That's his dog.

-- Do you like makeup? Cool, Baxter likes you to put makeup on him too, thanks. Not to go out, that's not really his thing, but it's a nice relaxing activity to do at home. He gets you all close to him (once you get back together he's not gonna let you go lol), and he gets to feel pretty. Don't skimp on the mascara, he likes his lashes, and be sure to play up his best features. Maybe try a dark lipstick this time, he'd like to see how that looks. And when you're done having fun, you better get to thoroughly removing everything and then following up with his skincare routine.

-- Sorry, let's double up on Baxter while we're here -- do you have a skin routine too? Because that's a shared interest and he's gonna want to talk about it. What's your favorite cleanser? Do you want to do face masks together? There's this new moisturizer he's interested in that's stupid expensive but he still wants to try it, want to split it? You share a Sephora rewards account so you can get more points. Oops, you accidentally put on too much of your lip mask and your lips are all goofy -- just give him a kiss, he hasn't put his on yet. It's weird how much I could go on about this.

-- You can also put makeup on Cove, but maybe stick to powders so he can rinse it all off easy after. And you can do whatever to Derek, he doesn't care, he's just happy to be there.

-- Everybody makes a big deal about Baxter's dancing, but this is actually another case of Derek Erasure, because he can do stuff too. His dad taught him and his brothers how to properly dance with a partner, and he was too shy to do it if you took him to the Summer Soiree, but if you end up with him? He can hold his own for sure.

-- If Cove doesn't end up with you, he ends up with Xavier. That's it. That's how it goes.

-- Not one of the main boys, but if you and Cove have babies then Cliff absolutely thrives on his GILF status. He tells everyone that he's a grandfather, literally every single person, and he's def proud of Cove and loves his grandbaby to bits, but also, like, look at him. Crazy hot grandpa, right?

#cove holden #derek suarez #baxter ward #our life beginnings and always #our life #olba #olba cove #olba derek #olba baxter #our life headcannons #olba mc #cove holden x mc #derek suarez x mc #baxter ward x mc #grandpa cliff

[love-toxin]

As someone who is on both the ADHD and autism spectrums, but wishes to remain anonymous....

Would the fruity four still... like me? Even if I'm weird and stim with my hands? Or if I say weird things and curse creatively? It's been a massive self esteem battle for me, because both of the people that I dated previously left me when I confided in them that I was on both the ADHD and autism spectrums....

first of all, im so sorry that happened my love! nobody deserves that, especially not such a sweet person <3 ty for sending me this ask not only bc you're giving me a reason to self-indulgently write about the fruity four with an autistic angel, but also bc!!! we're really alike!!! i love knowing there's somebody i can relate to out there 🥺🥺

I'll start off by saying; yes, of course! The fruity four are strong personalities and people, they have a bond with you that couldn't be broken by something like that, because it's part of what makes you you–and that's exactly what they love! The very thought of giving up on their true love because of a label is just bonkers, it makes no sense and they would be echoing that to you whenever you feel insecure about it. Also, let it be known that I'm totally on the train of headcanoning both Eddie and Robin as being on the spectrum. I like to think Eddie's stronger on the autistic side, whereas Robin is more adhd with her social skills being more pronouncedly autistic. So with this in mind, I think they'd already be very sensitive to whatever your personal experiences are on either spectrum! And they can relate to you inherently a lot better than most people, including both Nancy and Steve.

Not to say that those two are oblivious or apathetic, however, because they certainly are not! They just don't have the same experiences to empathize with you, so they've gotta put a little more work in to help themselves understand how you operate. Your boundaries are a relatively easy thing to start off with; they're something they've probably already gone over, just not as in-depth as they're used to. You might sit there shy and a little teary-eyed even, worrying yourself to death that they're going to laugh at you or make fun of the things that you say you need or that bother you, but Nancy and Steve will be so patient in listening and Robin and Eddie will encourage you to say everything that comes to mind. Your shared space is always a safe space, there's no fear of abandonment or rejection that you need to worry about here, and they'll do as much reassuring as it takes until you really feel comfortable and secure in knowing that. No moment of irritation or frustration or any meltdown will scare them away, no matter how big it gets. And they'll never think of you as childish for anything that you do or anything you get upset about.

Nancy's probably one of the easiest people to confide in about being on the spectrum, as a person who isn't perceivably on it herself. Even though she doesn't experience life in the same way you do, she's a fantastic listener and she treats your explanations and understanding your neurodivergency almost like a hobby in itself. When you mention some term or new behavior that you can't put a name to, she's off to the library to research anything and everything that has to do with autism and adhd–and soon she's the one coming to you not just with questions, but new information she picked up and surveys she wants to do to compare your personal experience to the studies she reads, to see if what's been published is accurate to the real-life experience. And you can damn well bet she's committing a bit of library graffiti in her chosen books if she comes across insensitive articles or tampered studies, or really anything that suggests that autism is some kind of disease or that it's a walking death sentence to any poor parent that finds their child is diagnosed with. She'll scratch out those horrid comments and outright false statements and write the corrections in the margins so long as she has the evidence, to the point that she pouts when she gets banned from borrowing any books for a month when she gets caught. "It was worth it," she insists, more concerned with getting the truth out there than being lectured by the crotchety old librarian–and you can bet she'll stand by her opinions even in public, even with strangers and ill-mannered people, because knowing you feel safe and wanted matters more to her than smiling and nodding along.

The only one that might be put off is Steve, but not in a bad way, and only at first. He's not as used to the way you and Eddie socialize, primarily because he's grown up and has gotten adjusted to the ways that neurotypical kids interact with each other. The way he carries himself and how he speaks to people is what he thinks is normal, so while he sees bluntness or awkward wording or seemingly oblivious social cues as abnormal, he doesn't think it's a bad thing at all. Clearly by the way he and Eddie exchanged conversation when they first met, he's more endeared by it than anything else, even though it takes him more time to understand it. He's used to picking between the lines of conversation to pick up cues and body language of whatever the other person isn't saying out loud, but luckily he's quick to realize that you don't necessarily speak the same way, and he just has to listen to you to know what you're trying to say. And once he learns about masking and sees you slowly become more comfortable with not doing it around him, he gets soooooo excited because he really feels like you're bonding, then, and that you trust him enough to stim or chatter on around him!

And with Eddie and Robin? They're so tuned in it's honestly hilarious. Eddie's constantly on the hunt for things he knows are part of your special interests–he finds little pieces of merch from bands or shows or movies you like, or things that are your favourite colour that he thinks you'll like. And he knows what your favourite animals are and what fabrics and textures you like, and pretty much anything and everything that has to do with your interests is noted down so he can use the information to his advantage. Robin's the same way, although you and her can talk for hours about the things you're passionate about, to the point that you both might forget to eat or sleep until exhaustion finally takes over, and you pass out in her bed or on the couch together.

Also, stimming? It's a normal thing in the household, and they will absolutely make sure that you feel like it's normal. Eddie tugs on his hair and plays with his watch, flaps his hands, claps, cracks his knuckles–and Robin has a few vocal stims like humming or making other little sounds through her teeth, aside from spinning her rings around and sometimes pacing around in circles with music or a movie on in the background. If you're restless and you move around a lot while they're cuddling with you, they get used to it quickly, and if you have days where you just absolutely do not want to be touched, they know that it's not personal and don't get offended if that goes on for awhile. It's the nice thing about having multiple partners, none of you really need to worry about feeling lonely or not having someone to confide in when someone isn't able to.

It's just a good time all around, really. They love you, you make them happy, and there's too much bad in this world for them to toss aside someone that really cares for them. Besides, how different are you from them, really? Each of them have things to deal with that frustrate them sometimes, or make them feel like they're a burden themselves. It's just a matter of accepting it, coping with it, and moving along, and letting the cycle repeat as many times as it needs to to let you enjoy life with the people you love.

#fruity four #fruity four x reader #steve harrington #nancy wheeler #robin buckley #eddie munson #steve harrington x reader #nancy wheeler x reader #eddie munson x reader #robin buckley x reader #st 4 #stranger things #ellie writes #anons

[my-autism-adhd-blog]

hey lately I've been thinking I probably have ADHD or autism (possibly both) I want to talk about it with my parents because they also have symptoms of them and want to know more about how I acted as a child (to possibly narrow it down) but I really don't know how to bring this up with them though they don't have a totally negative view of neuro-divergence I'm still a bit nervous because it's a bit of a taboo topic in my family.

(hey hope you have a good day I love your blog it's so useful!)

Hi there,

I found a help source from WikiHow that might help. Here are the steps you can take:

Method 1 of 2: Doing Your Research:

Learn about autism

Research carefully before making too many assumptions

Learn about conditions that could be mistaken for autism

Reflect upon what you've read

Consider your childhood and your earliest memories

Talk to real autistic people

Method 2 of 2: Talking To Your Parents:

Choose a calm, quiet time to talk

Use "process talk" to explain that you have something important to say

Explain that you think there's a possibility you're autistic

Use tentative language

Focus on the benefits of looking into it

Be prepared to correct common misconceptions

Tell a strongly resistant parent how you seeing a doctor would benefit them

Give your parents time to process this

Ask to see a doctor or specialist

The link will be below if you want to check it out.

I hope this helps you and your parents. Thank you for the inbox. I hope you have a wonderful day/night. ❤️

#inbox #inbox reply #inbox is open

[applesandbannas747]

What’s a strange or funny rabbit hole you’ve dived into when researching for your fics?

oh man I end up in strange corners of the internet for research all the time jsfsa I know there have been a couple times I've stopped and stared at my computer being like how in the fuck am i h e r e but I can't remember any of the truly outrageous moments like that, so here's a general list of some of the more silly things I've done in the name of research

During my last semester of college I switched my major in my school's system thingy to see what requirements and hours were needed for a nursing degree for Eugene in Breakable Things (changed it back after obviously but my advisor was like bestiE what the fuck is this?? you have 2 months of student teaching left and you're bailing nOW???)

How to move a mattress on your own, specifically up stairs because the shape/weight is awkward for a single person for Eugenia in Getting Even

Tutorials for dancing, cooking, etc etc to get the cadence and terminology of teaching those things down

I have spent a LOT of time learning CSS and HTML coding to an extent for silly workskins

So much research about custody laws for Truths, involving a multi hour long conversation with my unfortunate law degree having mother where I asked about shit endlessly

Objectively hilarious because of how much I should have known on my own is how I had a conversation almost as in-depth and full of questions as the child custody talk with my mom about airports with my dad when writing Connections because airports are a nightmare for me and until this year when work and friend obligations left me with no other choice, I had not been in an airport since i was almost too young to remember. I'm not bothered by flying, to be clear, it's specifically the hellish noise, crowdedness, and confusion of airports and how you get yelled at at them for not knowing the systems even when every airport has slightly different systems. my autistic ass could never. so yeah. poor father man had to spend hours of his life answering my specific and strange questions about something so stupid

I've also entered in flight details, looked up and sometimes made dishes, and read conversations out loud over a song to make sure about how timing would work

#jackshit #thanks for the ask!!💜 #this was really fun <3

[heading-home-again]

Hi there! If I'm following your blog, it's because I like your blog. It's not complicated.

I will make a heroic effort not to descend like a swarm of monotropic locusts and spam like half your blog, but honestly no promises. Unless you have something in profile or pinned saying not to, I do try to check for that.

I post/reblog

Lots of Murderbot Diaries content

Like, a lot :D

Also OCD and autism stuff

Also just cool stuff like nature and cute cats

Also sometimes politics

I'm "old" (40ish)

I don't have a DNI and I don't vet blogs I reblog from at all. I don't even do an ideological purity test on blogs I follow. When I post or reblog something onto my Tumblr, however, I do attempt to filter out the following:

Obvious OCD triggers. I can't catch em all, but I'm at least not going to repost "reblog or you're a bad person" stuff

Political despair

Racism, antisemitism, TERF and radfem stuff, transphobia, erasure, sus call-out posts (that's most of them), etc

Things I think are interesting include various fandoms, nature pics, cats, animals being cute or cool, marine life (OCTOPUSES! WHALES!), space, mental health, neurodivergence and neurodiversity, psychology in general, childhood and child development, parenting, children's rights.

I have OCD and am very interested in how to live well with it.

I don't have an autism diagnosis, but I have found that about 80% of what LSN autistics say about their experiences and effective life hacks applies to me, so ... I am EMBRACING the ambiguity, which I love SO MUCH (sarcasm).

My age is greater than thirty.

I don't give away money on Tumblr. This is a hard line. Doesn't mean I don't believe you, don't think you deserve help, or don't think you should be asking for it. Does mean that asking me here is a waste of your time.

I don't engage while too angry to think. I also have a busy life. These are two possible reasons I'm not replying. Second is more likely.

I am currently trying to learn about narcissism and NPD for several reasons. One being that, once I started researching it on Tumblr, I found I had some of the symptoms. The other being that I've experienced abuse from a friend who almost definitely should have been diagnosed with NPD. The third being that I just think psychology is interesting.

I may currently be following your blog because of this interest, and if so I'm putting in a warning that the next part is me processing difficult stuff and talking about "narcissistic abuse". (And while I hope you won't block me, I understand if you do. I will absolutely take it personally, lol, but I won't, like, have an online fit about it)

Being a condescending asshole about abuse victims may get you blocked. This includes abuse victims who describe their experience as "narcissistic abuse." Yes, the "narcissistic abuse" survivors community is ableist AF. It's also what got me out of a soul destroying, physically dangerous situation. Sometimes things are complicated. Abuse victims, other than a weird mostly non-existent subclass of perfect innocent ideal victims who responded exactly right, are also a huge target of social prejudice. If you don't understand this, and the way it contributes to things like toxicity in the "narcissistic abuse" community, maybe just... don't be rude about abuse survivors?

That said, if you're describing your own experiences as "narcissistic abuse," I'd encourage you, once you are out of survival mode, to consider moving away from the term, for a whole bunch of reasons.

[trollocks-in-my-bollocks]

Genuinely wondering why you would advocate for eugenics and aborting autistics. Because they're hard to raise? They are hell on the parent? So they're not allowed to live then? Breeding out "undesirables" from society is not going to fix anything. It is horrific. Everyone is one accident away from becoming disabled. You're all for aborting disableds. so what, you're also for killing those who become disabled later in life? is that it? So no one has to suffer and live in pain and be a burden to their parent? How about, instead of falling for nazi eugenic propaganda, you focus on making society more liveable for the "undesirables." We deserve to live

Hello Anon, I waited a bit so we could both calm down, and maybe see the gray parts of this situation, not only the blacks and the whites. I also read into the controversy around Autism Speaks and although I already knew they were shady but oh boy. I fully understand why you'd never willingly collaborate with this given organisation in their "research". The quotation marks were intentional. No, we shouldn't bio-engineer a perfect society. Yes, it is horrific.

At the same time, as someone who lives somewhere women's rights are being cut away gradually, it was astonishing to read how some people on tumblr.com essentially say that in some circumstances a person shouldn’t be allowed to have an abortion even though they want one.

I'd love to live in a diverse, accepting society but I can't change mine singlehandedly. I keep speaking up (sometimes it's more like shouting) even in a hostile environment every single time someone blames the mother for their child's situation. It may sound unbeliavable, but I've been told several times by male relatives in my twenties to not to do this or that because I'd end up giving birth to an autistic baby. I've done cutting away some of ties there but this is just the state of our society, I'd love to seal myself away hermetically, if I could. I've seen divorces leaving mothers alone supporting children who require constant care. Right now our social system doesn't support people who stay at home to take care of their disabled relatives adequately. There are undiagnosed, untreated children everywhere because their family straight out refuses the possibility of autism because it's still such a heavy stigma and also because our school system is not equipped to deal with children with special needs.

For me, this was the hardest sentence to read in your reply.

"So no one has to suffer and live in pain and be a burden to their parent?"

Please look up some pro-life propaganda on the internet, you'll find it very similar to what you've just said, even though I'm sure it wasn't your original intention.

So overall, yes, I do my part in making society more liveable (why did you straight out insinuate that I don't?) for everyone, but I'll be always on the mother's side. I believe that we should have the right to terminate a pregnancy when we feel unsafe about it because of our direct environment/society and supporting research to develop prenatal tests will save already existing lives (especially here, where statistically a woman dies in domestic violence every_single_week). I'd prefer mothers having the right of making this decision instead of just straight out not doing research because it's unethical. Their bodily autonomy supersedes that of a clump of cells.

I hope next time we communicate you'll hit a less passive-agressive tone and to encourage this I'm disabling anon but feel free to reply with your username.

#abortion tw #body autonomy

[troonwolf]

thank you for speaking up about the cult tactics used in the pro endo community. even though i Was mostly syscourse unaligned leaning anti, the pro endo community gave me a really bad vibe. seeing a lot of shit they say screamed “cult” to me too but i didn’t feel comfortable enough calling it out because i’m not a cult survivor and i don’t know a lot about cults. i was also never pro endo so it’s not like i could speak from personal experience either. so i kind of brushed off my gut reaction and told myself i’m overreacting about something i don’t know a lot about. so i’m glad to know more now and know that the pro endo community does harm beyond what i even initially thought. i’m definitely more anti endo now because the pro endo community is absolutely the anti vaxers of the neurodivergent community. also notice how many of them support the demedicalization of autism too. idk if you remember that but i’m referencing specifically the time a few months ago when some prominent pro endo bloggers were jumping down the throats of autistic anti endos because they called their autism a disability.

Ty for your input anon! Interesting to read other folks perspectives and experiences on all this.

The funny thing is I literally only started talking about how I myself am a cult survivor because everytime I try to talk about cults in the system community, people have this knee-jerk reaction of having to respond to you with essays on how unless you're a cult survivor, you shouldn't be talking about cults.

Now first off that's obviously not true and pretty stupid. Tons of academic professionals and researchers and etc who are involved in widening our understanding of cults, were not themselves victims of cults. That's like saying I can't talk about the black plague because I wasn't there.

But literally just to make people stop having that response to me I was like welp guess I'm gonna have to talk about specific details of my trauma of being lured into a doomsday bunker in the mountains by my mother even tho both sides of this debate are constantly talking about how we shouldn't pressure people to have to talk about or reveal their trauma.

The idea of cults and cult victims have a weird status of reverence in the community, we're almost treated like a mythological creature. "Oh no, don't talk about cults! There might be a...*whispers* cult victim here...." It's very very bizarre.

Cults are an age-old phenomenon with tons of research put behind them. We actually know a fucking lot about cults. Saying you need to have been in one to be able to understand them is ridiculous.

Comparing this to other things: you don't need to have been abused as a child to have a good understanding of child abuse. We have a pretty informed understanding of what child abuse is and how it functions by this point. You can still call something out as being child abuse without having experienced it yourself.

With that said I'm glad there are people who understand my point, but honestly after this experience I've concluded both sides of the anti/endo discourse are a bunch of clowns who just want a tumblr pvp social club. People are involved literally just to be part of the community, whether anti or endo. Folks actual reasons for being against endos is dumb shit like "they're just dumb teenagers who don't know what they're doing", when if that's really the case then why are you "anti" in the first place? Idc what dumb teenagers are doing, why do you?

I hate endos because they cause harm but most people in this discourse legitimately seem like they're just anti-endos because they think it's cringe and want to be a cool tumblr hater.

#anti endo #syscourse #endo cult #also peoples response to me finally dumping my trauma after being accused of not knowing what I'm talking about over and over #was just to then ignore my existence and vague me #while pretending to be for cult survivors lol #this community is genuinely very full of shit #like just cliquey mean girl shit because no one actually believes in what they're saying #they just want to have a blog where they're a cool tumblr hater or wtfever #also I don't like how the community treats us cult survivors like we are delicate fucking flowers #that cant even skim by a post about cults #or we cant have an intellectual objective discussion on cults #because we are just so weak and fragile yknow :((((((((((( #we need them to protect us from stuff like having thoughts and sharing opinions :((((( #it is literally just ''survivors I agree with'' vs ''survivors I disagree with and therefore don't exist''

[philsmeatylegss]

Self diagnosis is 100% valid and you're being a bit unreasonable??

Like I agree labeling someone ELSE as autistic ( especially that you don't know irl) is weird and invasive, but most people who self diagnose are struggling with severe symptoms. No one "wants to be autistic," they just don't have the resources necessary to seek a professional diagnosis bc it's incredibly time consuming and usually very expensive.

Just because your brother was non verbal and had certain symptoms does NOT mean all autistic people are like that. Do some research before you say shit like that bc it's harmful.

You ever just read someone’s words online and have to put your phone down and remind yourself people irl aren’t actually like this? Because I literally had to walk away from my phone for ten mins.

This is an absolutely insane take that I do believe anon could have presented in a much more favorable light if this wasn’t so vicious.

Idk how to tell anon this, but I’ve had 20+ years of studying Autism 24/7

I could link ten posts just scrolling for five mins on my dashboard glorifying or light heartedly joking about Autism. Or on tiktok.

I have never claimed diagnosis is easy or that there are not huge systemic obstacles that prevent getting proper diagnoses, especially for marginalized communities. But there’s a large difference between pointing out inequality in the medical system preventing many from getting and receiving a proper diagnosis and saying that you are allowed to say whether you are or are not autistic and I am bad for questioning that.

Also I have to believe anon didn’t reread that last part. Ironically, one of the largest problems siblings of disabled kids suffer from is not being heard when speaking about their feelings or experiences. Funny how that works.

I do think there is wiggle room in this argument, such as if you have had in person, long term contact with different types of autistic people (which I have. My sibling was involved in a lot of autism-centric and special education programs in which I often interacted with other autistic and disabled children) or you’re a fucking doctor, I’d be more willing to listen. But flat out claiming that I am wrong and I am the asshole because you have done “research” is fucking insane.

I’ve talked about my opinion on this topic before and I’ve indulged people who disagree because they approached the topic maturely and did their best to listen and understand what I’ve been through. But when you come to me and say my entire life experience is invalid, that’s not something I’m willing to indulge.

The internet, and yes, this website, has turned Autism into just something that makes you awkward and overstimulated when, over here in reality, I watched my actual autistic family member be committed to a mental hospital because he kept trying to kill my family when his rage was triggered by his autism. Because if you know autism, you know meltdowns and tantrums is reality.

It’s a spectrum blah blah blah, don’t worry I’m fully aware. But when you portray autism as mild, trying to silence me speaking out about how my brother didn’t speak as a child, is a million times more damaging to the autistic community and you should be ashamed <3

#probably wouldn’t have responded but that last part took me out lmao #best way to advance anon is to fucking block me #asks #delete later

[ineffablesnakegender]

Hello every nyan /ref I guess I should do this sort of introduction/everything you could possibly need to know about me type post. Everything here is subject to change and I'll update it as needed

Fandoms:

Our flag means death

Umbrella academy

The owl house

Sanders sides

Good omens

Doctor who

Undertale

Hannibal

TMNT

FNAF

DND

MLP

Boundaries:

No sexual comments towards me, I'm 16 (even if you're a similar age to me just don't) hard boundary

No proshippers/comshippers/ darkshippers or whatever (no incest, no adult x child, no animal x human, just no illegal shit. I don't care why you do it. I'll block you anyway so just go ahead and block me now) HARD boundary

Shota/loli con people go fucking die KYS you won't be missed pedophile

Don't interact too much if you're an nsfw blog (again I'm 16) soft boundary

No bigots (Zionists, racists, homophobes, xenophobes, transphobes, ect) HARD boundary

Do NOT use my art for AI. (You can't anyway because I use a program that messes up your data 😝) hard boundary

If you're a super religious blog please leave me alone (I'm not interested in your religion, don't preach to me) soft boundary

If you support Dream, Wilbur, and literally anyone who has done similar shit to them. GTFO. We support victims on this blog (I'm not open to arguing about this simply block me before I block you) Hard boundary

Art request/commission info:

I always have art requests open but I don't promise to get to yours if you request anything.

I don't do animals or very complicated backgrounds for commissions just because I'm not very good at it.

My commission prices + examples vv

If you think this is too expensive just know that I don't care and you don't have to commission me if you don't want to <3

I use cash app

Prices half on all art for holidays (this doesn't include birthdays)

Prices go up if you want the art in less than a week (depends on how fast you need it)

No NSFW. No hate art. No proship art. I have the right to refuse a commission or request if I'm uncomfortable making it. I do my research on characters, do not try to "trick me" or something I'm just going to block you

I require 50% upfront before I start on your commission. I will send updates throughout the process to get feedback, they will be plastered in watermarks for my safety. I will send the finished product with watermarks on it, only after you send the rest of the money will I give you the real image. The finished product will have one watermark in a place that will be hard to hide but does not interfere with the art

I don't need your business. This isn't my job. I will cancel your commission if you're rude, uncooperative, break my rules or boundaries, or are trying to rush me when you didn't pay for it to be quick. I'll tell you to stop once and you won't be given a second chance, you'll just be blocked and refunded

YouTubers I watch:

Thomas sanders

LaurenZside

Drawfee

Lilsimsie

Dollightfull

OneTopic

Moriah Elizabeth

Lovely Lor

Samantha Lux

Sam Collins

Oxventure

Safiya Nygaard

GingaNinjaOwO

Katzun

Stampylonghead

Love2DrawManga

Personal info:

Pronouns: pretty much anything unless it's she her but my favorites are in my bio

Names: you can call me by my username if you want but my name is Aeron

Age: like I've said I'm 16

Other: I'm autistic, I have degenerative disc disease, my favorite animal is hognose snakes, I use xenogenders and I'm non-binary, I don't post very often, I'm always open to art requests and critiques, I want to go to law school, I'm Irish on both sides of my family and indigenous French Canadian (Metis!) on my mom's side (although I'm very disconnected from both cultures), I live in America currently but I plan on moving as soon as I can bc this place is a hell hole

User boxes:

#long post #intro post #pinned

[1863-project]

Hello! Ever since I found your Submas primer I've been really really enjoying your posts about trains, the Submas boys, and other info posts. Particularly I love the post about how the two are autistic; I learned so much from that and I want to hear more about it. I have a friend who is autistic and that post made me feel like I understood autism better than I did. I would love to hear more about being autistic and how that could affect the Submas.

Hi, anon! If it helps, I have a whole separate blog where I do my autism advocacy work (although I don't update it as much as I should), and the Autistic Gaming Initiative's website can be found here if you're curious about what my all-autistic streaming team does! We're all happy to answer questions, etc.

This is the Submas autism post in question, which I wrote because I've never seen myself more in fictional characters in my nearly-33 years on this earth. They both have traits I do - I often joke if you combined them into one person, you'd have me. I'm actually not sure which of them I'm more similar to, because it fluctuates - but in general, I have Emmet's bluntness and intensity, and Ingo's lack of volume control and overbearing sense of responsibility. I can't put into words how much I appreciate them for existing, because although it never outright says they're autistic, they're still the most natural-feeling portrayal of autistic characters I've ever seen because they're just written as they are, not to "be autistic" if that makes sense. Basically, they weren't written to be "autistic characters." They were just written to be Ingo and Emmet. The fact that they happen to be the best-ever use of the "autistic people are good with trains" trope on the planet is likely a coincidence, but I'll take it.

Since I'm similar to both of them, I can speak from experience as to things that have arisen in my life due to being autistic:

I've been told I was too direct, provided too much information (oversharing), or came off as unintentionally rude

I've been told I was too loud (still get this one, I work in a library, whoops)

I've been told to stop talking about my interests because nobody cares

I've been told I have to make eye contact to make people think I'm listening to them (I get around this by looking at people's noses)

I've struggled to make friends because I was "weird" and "different" compared to the other kids I went to school with (I wasn't diagnosed until I was 20, in 2009)

I didn't dress like other people because of sensory issues (I still dress differently today, but now it's because I have my own personal sense of style and money to afford it)

When I was an infant, I started crying at some parent-child event because they did a group song. My mom overheard a parent go, "What's wrong with that baby?" and was ready to throw hands but my dad stopped her. I spent my entire childhood overloaded by rounds of Happy Birthday.

I have the world's most oversensitive nervous system. Many, many friends have found this out and found it amusing. (It’s affectionate and I don’t mind, don’t worry.)

I will be in physical pain if someone talks from behind me at a specific angle.

When I’m good at something, I’m verrrry good at it. This includes my ability to build IKEA furniture by myself, as well as how I’m able to instantly drive nearly anything (including steam locomotives now).

I retain information extremely well if I’m interested in the subject at hand, and I can find said information very effectively. I still remember things I learned about paleontology and astronomy from when I was 3-4 years old, and this ability has made me a great archivist and historian because that requires me to know a lot about history and be a good researcher.

I experience emotions extremely intensely, and this is overwhelming for both me and others. Even my happiness can overwhelm other people. (You know how Emmet gets about battling? It’s like that.)

I occasionally experience meltdowns or shutdowns under stress or if I’m having a sensory overload. Here’s a great comic on the subject!

I often found myself feeling “alien” when I was younger because I didn’t understand the intricacies and rules of human social interaction and society, and oftentimes when I learned those rules I thought they were ridiculous.

You may have noticed there’s a higher percentage trans and nonbinary autistic people than average, and in general a lot of us are gender non-conforming. Collectively we just decided gender and gender roles were stupid and I think that’s really cool of us. Although I’m a cisgender woman, I didn’t conform to my middle class suburb’s strict idea of femininity, so I grew up thinking I was bad at being a girl.

I’m good at work that requires repetition and focus. It’s what makes me a really good archivist. I don’t have to interact with people when I’m archiving, and I can do the drudgery neurotypicals get bored doing.

Because of intense childhood bullying by my male peers, I actually have never dated. I’m about to turn 33 and although I don’t need a partner or anything, it would be nice to at least properly try dating. The trauma makes it difficult for me to even initiate talking to men, though.

As you can see, that’s a big mix of positive and negative experiences. Ultimately, getting my diagnosis when I was 20 years old turned out to be an affirming experience and introduced me to the self-advocacy community, which I’m now actively involved in through blogging and AGI. That’s not to downplay my struggles, though. I have good days and bad days, and I’ve met some people who were accepting and understanding and others who were not accommodating in any way. Sometimes the things I have trouble with get in the way at work, like my issues with prioritizing tasks (they all seem equally important in my mind), but sometimes my work is actually enhanced by me being autistic. My adult friend group is mostly made up of fellow neurodiverse people, and I prefer it that way because we understand each other better. There’s a lot more supports than there were when I was younger, so it’s definitely easier to be autistic now than it was when I was growing up, but we still have a long way to go in the disability rights fight, so we need to stick together!

I hope this answers your question, anon! If you’ve got more, feel free to ask me - I’m more than happy to help with things like this!

#replies #Pokemon #Submas #actuallyautistic #autism

[theprideful]

What if everyone started writing articles about "How To Prevent Your Child from Being Neurotypical"? What if there were large posters and billboards everywhere that said "Neurotypicals are a Tragedy" and "Top 5 things to do to avoid a neurotypical child" and "Is YOUR child neurotypical? Stop doing these 10 things" and "Vaccines may make your child neurotypical" and "Newfound cure for neurotypical children" and "New genetic research shows a possible way to tell if your child will be neurotypical in the womb. Contact your local abortion clinic for more options. Help is only a call away!" and "Is your child a prisoner of a neurotypical mind? Do you feel like your child has been taken by the monster that is neurotypicality? Try these home remedies with no scientific backing" like you're a bunch of mindless, helpless, monstrous creatures instead of goddamn human beings with thoughts and emotions? Because that is exactly what it's like to have autism. Every day, we are reminded that the world hates us. That they think we are a burden, a tragedy to be prevented. I see signs and posters and articles and campaigns everywhere and I hear it in every day conversation. Someone will throw around the r-slur, or use "autistic" as an insult, or mock our quirks or traits associated with a caricature that poorly depicts us as a whole. And they act like we're not even there. Like we don't see -- or worse, dont have the mental capacity to understand -- their blatant ableism and hate speech. And we are constantly belittled, infantilized, degraded, and treated as subhuman. And then they have the audacity to act like our saviors, like they're somehow rescuing us from ourselves, without thinking for a second that maybe, our brains are perfectly fine. That they make us who we are.

Without autism, I would not be me. My life is built around autism. It impacts how I see the world, how I interact with others, who I bond with. It affects everything. They are essentially trying to rob me of my core traits, my personality, my entire sense of being. And they're doing it to future generations as well. They are trying to prevent us, to make us go extinct. It's planned extinction on a massive scale. And it's disgusting. We are people, and we're fine as we are. Eugenics is the real disease here.

Neurotypicals, please reblog this, but don't add on with any disagreement or try to downplay the gravity of the situation.

Ableists do not interact. You will be blocked immediately.

#long post #ableism #asd #actually autistic #actuallyautistic #neurodiverse #neurodivergent #on the spectrum #hate speech mention #text post #ableist bullshit #protect autistic youth #disabled #disability #disability pride month

[mellometal]

Is it time to tear ANOTHER Dhar Mann video to shreds? YOU BET.

I've been sitting on this one for a bit because I wanted to make sure I talk about this tactfully. The subject of parents abandoning their disabled children is a very touchy one.

Parents abandoning their disabled children simply for being disabled is way too common. Like, I understand that not everyone has the resources to care for a disabled child (which is why you reach out for help, and why people like me, who work with disabled people, exist), but it doesn't mean you just walk out of their life. There are exceptions, like if you truly didn't want children or something like that, but just flat-out walking out of your kid's life BECAUSE they're disabled is fucked up.

I know someone personally whose biological mother abandoned her when she was born. Why? Because she's disabled. Physically, and mentally, to a point. I work with this woman on a daily basis. I don't really know WHY exactly her biological mother abandoned her, but I do know that her being disabled was part of it. It's sad. It doesn't affect her, thankfully. I'm happy that she's got her biological dad, her brother, and another maternal figure in her life, at least.

ANYWAYS. Before we get to the topic at hand, I need to put an obligatory trigger warning, like I do with EVERY Dhar Mann post:

This post will be talking about parents abandoning their disabled children simply for being disabled, treating disabilities like they're tragedies (in this case, we're talking about autism...again), divorce, and some SPICY ableist bullshit from an allistic (nonautistic) PIECE OF SHIT.

If any of this triggers you or makes you uncomfortable in any way, you don't have to read this post. This isn't worth putting yourself in a bad state mentally. I would never ask for any of you to put yourselves in that position all for a post. Put your mental health and well-being first. Consume media that sparks joy for you.

As far as my response goes, it's definitely more calm than normal. Funny....since this video is about autism spectrum disorder again. (Third time's the charm, huh, Dhar Mann? NOT.)

LET'S FUCKING GET IT.

The video starts off with these two parents (Gwen and Allen) in a psychologist's office. The psychologist tells the parents that their son (Chance) is autistic, and she tries to explain what autism is to the parents, but Allen cuts her off. Why? Because he teaches at a prestigious university, so he AUTOMATICALLY knows what autism is from that fact alone.

Um, excuse me? Just because you're a teacher at a prestigious university, it doesn't mean you're an expert in everything. It doesn't make you an expert in ASD or anything like that. Unless you SPECIALIZE in that area. Even then, shut the fuck up. The people who know about being autistic are AUTISTIC PEOPLE THEMSELVES! SHOCKER.

Hey, Dhar Mann! QUIT WITH THE VIDEOS ABOUT AUTISTIC LITTLE WHITE BOYS AND YOUNG WHITE AUTISTIC CISHET MEN! I'M SICK AND TIRED OF IT. It's annoying, ignorant, and it feels like you're doing this on purpose at this point to piss people off. If you're so uninformed about autism in women and girls, FUCKING ASK AUTISTIC WOMEN AND GIRLS! DO BETTER RESEARCH THAT DOESN'T INVOLVE AUTISM SPEAKS. The Autism Self Advocacy Network (ASAN) and the Autistic Women and Nonbinary People Network (AWN) are great organizations to go to for any kind of research on ASD in women and girls. STOP GOING OFF OF THE BRAINS OF AUTISTIC WHITE BOYS AND AUTISTIC WHITE MEN.

I don't feel I need to go too deep into the fact that autistic women, autistic girls, autistic nonbinary people, autistic BIPOC, autistic AAPI, autistic LGBT people, autistic teenagers, and autistic adults exist. Y'all already know.

Gwen asks the psychologist if that means Chance isn't healthy. (I understand not knowing about autism, but don't treat it like it's a terminal illness. Please.) The psychologist tells her that Chance is fine, but he just learns differently and might need more support compared to his peers.

Yeah, autism can affect how you learn about certain things (limited and repetitive patterns), but there are other disabilities that can affect learning as well. Like how dyslexia can affect your ability to read, dyspraxia can affect your ability to do math, and Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) can affect your ability to focus or on impulse control. Autism affects how your brain is developed, it affects you socially, behaviorally, and how you communicate.

Allen is upset, says that he can't have a son "with a learning disability" (ASD is a neurological disability, not necessarily a learning disability), and treats Chance like he's stupid for being autistic. Gwen tells her husband that autism doesn't make you any less intelligent, WHICH IS SO FUCKING TRUE. ABSOLUTE FACTS. I was totally with her until she began that little monologue with "Just because a person HAS autism". SAY "JUST BECAUSE A PERSON'S AUTISTIC" INSTEAD! IT'S NOT HARD. PERSON FIRST LANGUAGE ISN'T WHAT EVERY DISABLED PERSON PREFERS. Allen says that "they could have another kid" and "put Chance up for adoption". Gwen obviously wasn't down with that. Allen gives his wife an ultimatum that it's either HIM or their son Chance. Gwen says that she can't choose between the two, but she will stand by her autistic son. Allen gets up and leaves the office, saying he wants a divorce.

Years pass by, Gwen is single and taking care of her autistic son Chance, and Allen has a new life with a ✨perfect son✨ (Samuel). He never mentions the son HE abandoned (Chance). He's completely forgotten about Gwen and Chance. (YOU OWE SO MUCH CHILD SUPPORT, ALLEN.)

Hey, Allen, how much do you wanna bet that your ✨perfect son✨ Samuel is autistic too?

There's the SATs, they're announcing a winner, and guess who it is? IT'S OBVIOUSLY CHANCE, OF COURSE. He's got the highest score in the country, with Samuel in second place. Allen is PISSED.

Chance gives a speech about how his mom really helped him, he struggled with autism, how Allen LITERALLY ABANDONED HIM, and THE CROWD GOES FUCKING WILD. Samuel, instead of being a sore loser, APPLAUDS FOR CHANCE. Stay humble, Sam.

My thoughts on the video? If you cannot tell by my tone throughout this post, IT WAS DOG SHIT. This video was insensitive to the true reality of parents abandoning their disabled children just because they're disabled. What do I expect from Dhar Mann at this point?

Here's my response to his video below. Don't worry, I will fully type out my response soon for anyone who cannot read the screenshots easily. It's a lot easier for me to do that on the desktop site than it is for me to do it on my phone.

For anyone who can’t read my response, I’m typing it out for you. Like I said, it’s easier for me to type it out on the desktop site than it is for me to type it out on my phone. It’s a real royal pain in the ass. But because I’m trying to make my posts easier to read for people, I’m doing this anyway. /lighthearted

First, second, and third screenshots (broken up into paragraphs):

Hey, listen, I appreciate the message you’re trying to go for, but can you please stop putting autistic people into a box? Can you stop treating being autistic like it’s a tragedy? Not every single autistic person is a little white boy in elementary school who’s considered “wild and unruly” or “super quiet and makes no friends”, nor are they a young white cishet man who’s a super genius or is how Chris Chan was before she came out as trans. (For anyone who doesn’t know about Chris Chan, there are many documentaries people have made on YouTube, and I highly recommend Geno Samuel’s docuseries, if you’re really interested in learning about Chris Chan.)

Autistic women, girls, nonbinary people, BIPOC, APPI, LGBT people, teenagers, and adults all exist too. 

It’s very apparent now that you get your resources from Autism $peaks, a hate group that spends the vast majority of their money on funding eugenics instead of helping autistic people like they claim, claims that only little white boys and young white cishet men are autistic and ignores all other autistic people who don’t fit that description, have no autistic people on their leader board or on any board for that matter, have members who have actually fantasized about k1lling their autistic children, treat autism like it’s a tragedy or a disease someone can catch (completely false), act like autism should be cured (there is no cure, and ABA therapy is a total shit show in itself), and treats autistic people like they’re broken and need to be fixed. Also, not every autistic person is a Super Genius(tm). That’s so demeaning to autistic people who aren’t seen as intelligent in any way. I’m autistic and seen as smart; however, there are subjects I’m stronger in than others.

If you can’t handle the possibility of having autistic children, or just disabled children in general, DON’T HAVE CHILDREN. If you can’t handle working with or alongside disabled people, including autistic people, maybe find a different profession. Even if you do that, you’ll never get away from disabled people. Disabled people aren’t a disease. We’re human beings just like neurotypical and able-bodied people.

Fourth and fifth screenshots (broken up into paragraphs): 

I would highly suggest getting resources from reputable organizations for ASD, such as the Autism Self Advocacy Network (ASAN) and the Autistic Women and Nonbinary People Network (AWN). Talk to any autistic person who isn’t a little white boy or a young white cishet man. 

Instead of using the puzzle piece, which is a symbol that many autistic people, myself included, are offended by (because of Autism $peaks and other organizations before them using it, plus it symbolizes that only autistic children exist and that we’re “missing a piece” like we’re broken), use the rainbow infinity sign (for all neurodivergent people) or the red and gold infinity sign (just for autistic people). Instead of “lighting it up blue”, light it up red or gold. Do both if you want. 

I’m actually really sick and tired of seeing just autistic little white boys and young autistic white cishet men being represented in the media, and y’all manage to fuck that up too. 

Before anyone mentions Sia’s movie “Music”, that’s also very poor representation of autistic girls. Besides, the actress who played the autistic girl isn’t even autistic. She MOCKED autistic people. I know she’s a kid, but that’s still super fucked up. I hope she’s able to turn that around. 

If anyone would like to discuss this topic with me or ask any questions, feel free to. I’ll answer as best as I can. Thank you and have a good night.

Before I get attacked for mentioning Chris Chan in my response, I bring up Chris Chan because allistic people think that every autistic person is like her (especially before she came out as trans). That person is part of why I wasn't open about being autistic or talking about my diagnosis until this year. I didn't want to be grouped up with Chris Chan because I do have very similar interests to her, I've been seen as cringey for having said interests, and just the way Chris treated autistic people who were formerly diagnosed with A$p3rg3r$ $yndr0m3 (like I was) really made me feel even more alienated.

Also, S1a supports A$ (Autism $p3aks). She's not a very good person to support. Some of her music is good, but her as a person....no. Her movie "Music" was gross, from what I've read about it and seen pictures of.

If you've read this far, thank you so much!

#mello speaks #dhar mann #dhar mann talk #dhar mann will live to regret his decision to make these fucked up cringe videos #dhar mann will live to regret his decision uwu #dhar mann is a piece of human garbage #please stop supporting dhar mann #autism isn't a tragedy #we need better representation for autistic people who aren't little white boys or young white cishet men #dhar mann is a cringe ass nae nae baby #tw abandonment #tw ableism #cw sia mention #cw chris chan mention #tw dhar mann

[jam-is-my-food]

Okay I'm sending another ask because there's something that's been bothering me and I think you're probably the person I know that can hello the most with it???

So my parents are kinda misinformed on things 😬 so sometimes they'll say things and they think they are being great allies but they are actually getting the opposite of helpful. And like I'll try to call them out on it, but they just give me the "oh you're too young" or "you don't actually know" or "you think you're such much smarter than us" and yada yada so I basically can't challenge any of their ideas ever but it makes me feel so, ill is like the only way I can describe it, about the fact that they are misinformed. So now I am trying to gather recourses about different topics that have come up that I notice they are misinformed on so that is it comes up again I have something top back my claims up with and I'm not just "a young, niave child who doesn't know any better"

That was a terrible incoherent mess so I'm sorry about that, but here's to the point:

Autism speaks is a bad organization, right? Like correct me if I'm mistaken, but as I understand, actual autistic people collectively agree that autism speaks is bad. But I never really understood what they did that was wrong? Or like I was never told what they did? So I tried to tell my parents autism speaks is bad and they were like "well what did they do" and I had nothing besides "well actual autistic people don't like it" and that just wasn't enough evidence for them.

Basically what I'm asking, is are there any recourses or websites or tumblrs or anything like that with info on that kind of stuff or anything you yourself know and could tell me? I just need to be able to inform them in a way that they will actually (maybe) accept and I don't rly know who or how else to get the info I need.

It's totally fine if you don't feel like finding things for me, I just need to know where to start looking because basically I'm lost lmao

God this ask was such an incomprehensible mess I am so sorry, I hope you get what I mean ahah.

Also please tell me if I got anything wrong or if anything I said was bad or anything if that makes sense? Eoirbrbdjjwl I'm so discombobulated

Thanks in advance! (Also sorry again for formatting)

- 😸 anon

don’t worry, cat - everything you said here was fine and dandy loll. and yeah i can try to help! obviously i do not speak for all autistic people but no autism speaks is very bad and problematic and just generally Shit.

i spent a few minutes looking for the best articles on it and i found this one very helpful: https://medium.com/artfullyautistic/autism-speaks-deception-eugenics-and-abuse-618cf65c094a

this one was also pretty good, and from a more recognized source if you need that: https://www.washingtonpost.com/outlook/2020/02/14/biggest-autism-advocacy-group-is-still-failing-too-many-autistic-people/

i think those articles sum it up better than i ever could, but to sum it up even further, i guess - autism speaks is not what it says it is. it’s a harmful hate group that caters not to autistic people at all but to their neurotypical families, and the money it claims is going to help families is mostly spent on advertising and research to find an “autism cure.” (i do not speak for all autistic people but i do not want to be ‘cured’ - that’s bullshit and eugenics and hugely problematic.) the organization sees autism as an enemy and autistic people’s voices as irrelevant. it’s also released very harmful videos and information. 

i believe the first article i linked has a list, but if you want to support a better group i’ve seen a lot of people promote autistic self advocacy network (asan), which is i believe a nonprofit run by and for autistic people. i haven’t looked much into it, so i wouldn’t take my word as concrete, but i do know it’s a much much better alternative.

(also, i obviously don’t know much about your parents or the context, but the fact that they dismissed autistic people ourselves not liking the organization and wanted more information is kind of unfortunate. it just pushes the pattern of those who are actually autistic not having our voices listened to in discussions that are about us.)

all is to say, i hope this helped! if you have any more questions you can definitely come to me - but autistic people, just like any others, are not a monolith, and i wouldn’t stake your claim on something just because a single autistic person told you so. you can also do research yourself! all you need to do is google “autism speaks harmful” or something to that effect and you’ll definitely find some good info. try and read things written by autistic people ourselves, because our voices get drowned out a lot in these conversations. (on that note, any autistic people reading please feel free to add on to this post, i’m just one kid.)

thank you for the ask, and i hope you have a great day!

#cat anon tag #actuallyautistic #tw autism speaks #tw eugenics

[rjalker]

Is it okay for an allistic person to write a fanfic where one of the main characters is autistic if the person does a lot of research first to avoid making the character follow any stereotypes about autistic people? Or would it be better to stick with writing what the person themselves has experienced and not include autistic characters?

I would love to see more autistic characters in fiction. There's nothing wrong with writing autistic characters if you're not autistic, as long as you actually do your research.

and by that I mean-- you find things written by actually autistic people, not written by allistics. Because I'm going to be honest with you - 99.9% of the things written about autistic people by allistics are literally just describing child abuse and absolutely horrific levels of ableism.

You can go on YouTube or even here on Tumblr and there are many many autistic people specifically creating videos and running blogs about what it's like being autistic and how to write and understand autistic people and characters.

As long as you actually listen and respect what office people have to say, and when it comes time to show off your work, if an autistic person tells you that something you wrote is actually harmful, you absolutely should not throw a fit about how it's not, or you didn't mean it to be, so therefore it's not, or anything like that. If you're told that she wrote something ableist, you should apologize and just change it so that it's no longer ableist.

Even if it's not your intention to be a list, that doesn't stop the ableism from having an impact.

But yeah, there's nothing wrong with writing autistic characters, as long as you were respectful and doing your absolute best to portray it accurately, if you're doing your best to stay away from harmful stereotypes, anything like that.

Honestly, I would really really really recommend having a female autistic character, because there are so many male autistic characters, that is literally just a stereotype of that all autistic people are men.

A good way to do research would be to try and find things already written by autistic people about autistic characters.

Every autistic persons experience is different, but there are also things we all have in common.

Just, do your research, don't listen to allistic people (especially fucking 'autism moms') and be respectful, and if you write something ableist or stereotyped, change it and don't make it a big deal.

Also do not trust a single fucking thing Autism Speaks has to say, they are evil.

And absolutely do not ever use puzzle pieces to represent autistic people or Autism.

If anybody else has stuff to add on, feel free. But if you're allistic and you're about to tell people that they should actuslly listen to what allistic people have to say, shut up.

Also like always when I'm on my phone this is being made with speech to text so if there's some random ass words in here that don't make sense, sound them out, and what they sound similar to is probably what I was trying to say.

#actually autistic #actuallyautistic #writing tips

[panreivonreyes]

Hi! I'm sorry if this is an inappropriate question, but you're someone who I look up to and I'd like your input. I've been learning about autism and how it presents itself in women and I think I might be on the spectrum. In your opinion what are the benefits of being professionally evaluated? I think it might help me feel more ok with who I am, but I'm also afraid that it could cause a lot of stress because of the stories I've read about professionals who don't think adult women can be autistic.

First off, not inappropriate at all! I’m always open to talking about this kind of stuff, especially if there’s a chance that sharing my experiences can help other people! Also, thank you very much for your kind words, It means a lot to me, truly.

This is going to be on the long side, so under a cut it goes!

I’ll start off with a disclaimer that my situation was a bit different from yours, and so there will be things that applied to my situation and not to yours, and vice versa, but I’ll do my best to give you as complete an overview as I can, and one that will hopefully be useful to other people in similar situations who might stumble across this?

First off, the big thing, as you mentioned, is the impact on how you feel about yourself. For me, it was interesting because neither me or my parents had ever considered the possibility I might be autistic until we were sat down by the team at the outpatient mental health centre I was attending at the time, who told us that they suspected I might be autistic, and gave us some reading material to look at, along with some assessments I’d done for them, and we all sat there and went through it and then they asked us if we thought they were right.

So, for me, the diagnosis was unexpected, and came with a lot of information that made a lot of my life experiences suddenly make a lot more sense in hindsight. You probably already have all that, now that you have a tentative self-diagnosis. Things you used to blame yourself for might be feeling less like your fault, and you might be starting to gain a clearer understanding of why some things played out the way they did. This is a really great and valuable thing, and can be incredibly helpful in learning to be kinder to yourself.

From that perspective, the value of a professional diagnosis really lies in the confirmation and validation of what you already know. It makes it harder for you to doubt yourself, because it’s proof that someone else sees it too, that you didn’t make it up, that you’re not just making excuses for yourself. If you’re someone who doesn’t tend to struggle with those kinds of thoughts, you won’t get as much value from that, but I know for myself, having a professional diagnosis has been excellent evidence to present to myself any time I get a bit imposter syndrome-y about it. 

On a related note, it can also serve a similar purpose with any family or friends you might want to share this information about yourself with. Some people (like my dad, for example), really struggle to accept this kind of information unless it’s been ‘verified’ by a ‘professional’. A professional diagnosis can in that way be a helpful tool for gaining better support and understanding from the people around you. Having your difficulties accepted as valid by the people around you can really make such a difference to your day to day life.

Another big thing, of course, is that if you’re currently in (or were ever to return to) education, a professional diagnosis can make it so much easier to access supports and accommodations from your educational institution. It may even be able to help you get into the course you want, as depending on where you live and where you want to study, there may be a disability access track (eg: Ireland’s DARE program) or other scheme to even out the playing field.

Depending on local laws, a professional diagnosis may be able to give you certain workplace protections, such as providing an entitlement to accommodations, or protection from harassment and unfair dismissal.

Depending on your location and personal situation, a professional diagnosis can make it possible to get government assistance (without it I wouldn’t have my weekly Disability Allowance payments, or my Free Travel Pass, or Medical Card. Without those, I’d have no chance at all of moving out of my parents’ house. With them, it’s within the realm of possibility).

So, as you can see, there’s a lot to potentially gain, depending on your particular circumstances. There are, however, also some potential downsides.

These are all very location dependent, and most of these examples are probably from America, but it will hopefully give you some ideas of things you might want to research local laws on, to see how they might affect you.

Privacy. If you have a diagnosis, you may be required to share that information with people whether you want to or not (eg: employers)

If you ever wanted to move to another country, it is possible they might use your diagnosis as grounds to refuse to grant you a visa (the only example that comes to mind is a case where a family was refused a Canadian visa because their autistic child was judged to be too big a drain on Canadian resources, but it’s worth mentioning.)

In the US, many disabled people are subject to a significantly lower minimum wage than the general population. I don’t know a whole lot about the details, but you may want to look into this if you think it could affect you.

Given the current uncertain situation regarding healthcare in the US, you may want to consider that Trumpcare proposals listed autism as a pre-existing condition, and therefore a professional diagnosis could affect the availability and price of health insurance.

If you’ve ever considered fostering or adopting children in the future, you may want to check if an autism diagnosis could interfere with those plans.

I know that probably feels like a lot of stuff to research and consider and weigh up, so please, take your time with it, be gentle with yourself, there’s no rush.

If, after all that, you’re leaning towards a professional evaluation, here’s some things you might want to consider.

It is possible that the evaluation experience might be stressful or unpleasant. (It might not be. Mine wasn’t at all, though, as I mentioned, I wasn’t aware I was being evaluated for anything in particular at the time). For more details about that, you might want to check out the posts linked here. It includes a bunch of autistic people talking about their experiences being tested, particularly what parts they found stressful or difficult and why, some tips on ways to reframe the experience to help make it less stressful or unpleasant, and some commentary I wrote about the potentially triggering aspects of the report that will be produced, intended to help people decide if they want to read their own report, and to prepare them for what they might find if they do so. If you’re not familiar with that blog, you might like to read through more of their posts. They have some really great content and discussions on a variety of topics, a very inclusive and non-presumptuous attitude, and everything is very comprehensively tagged. It’s a fantastic resource. 

You are absolutely right that many doctors who deal with autism are...shall we say “less than open-minded”? I have dealt with such doctors in the past, and it is absolutely a very stressful and frustrating experience. In such situations, I believe it is best to know exactly what you want from them, stay focused on that, come prepared with any materials or research you have that may support your case, and stand your ground for as long as you can bear to. If it gets to be too much, move on and find another doctor. It may be frustrating, it may be exhausting, it may be disheartening, but if you truly believe you are autistic, and you truly believe you want a professional diagnosis, then I urge you to not let some ignorant asshole doctors stand in your way. Try to remember that you will not have to deal with them forever, that this is a temporary situation, that you’re just using them to get a diagnosis and as soon as you have that you can walk away and never have to deal with them again! It may be painful in the short term, but that won’t last forever, and if you’ve decided that the benefits of a professional diagnosis are worth having, then you’ll be benefiting from those for the entire rest of your life, and you deserve to have that!

Looking back over this, at times it may sound like I’m trying to discourage you from getting a professional evaluation. To be clear, I’m not. In my personal experience, having an official diagnosis has been very helpful, both in personal/mental/emotional terms and in practical ones, and I very much believe that people should have one, if it is at all possible and isn’t likely to result in negative consequences. I just want to do my best to provide you with as much potentially relevant information as possible, so that you have the ability to make an informed decision about what’s right for you.

Whatever you choose, I hope it works out well for you, and thank you for trusting me with this and giving me the opportunity to try and help! Hopefully this was helpful and not too overwhelming, and if you’ve any more questions or anything, you are absolutely welcome to send them to me!

#actuallyautistic #asd stuff #asks #anonymous #tumblr please do not fuck up publishing this i spent too much time on it for you to lose it #anon

[mellometal]

HEY.

I haven't been able to keep up on the whole Dhar Mann lore as of current day, and I'm sorry, BUT FUCK THAT PIECE OF SHIT RIGHT NOW. He's not important at the moment. There's someone else who I really need to discuss. You probably know who this person is if you're in the Sonic fandom.

A few questions for anyone who's new to this person:

1. Do you know who Chris Chan is?

2. If so, what are your thoughts on Chris?

3. Does the character Sonichu ring any bells? If not, here's an official picture of him below:

For anyone who has never heard about Chris Chan, I don't have time to go into the whole lore here because it's not important. You can jump down the CWC rabbit hole on your own. There are MANY documentaries on this person. I recommend Geno Samuel's docuseries on Chris Chan, if you want to know EVERYTHING about this person so far and you're committed to the task.

To sum up Chris Chan in a few words, she's an autistic trans woman who created Sonichu and dealt with a shit load of trolls. Her parents (her late father and elderly mother) have enabled their own child her whole life.

I'm thoroughly disgusted by this person and I don't fucking respect her whatsoever. The ONLY amount of respect I'm bothering to give her AT ALL is using the correct pronouns for Chris when referring to her. That's IT.

Obligatory trigger warning (I am DEAD SERIOUS here, so please listen):

This post will be going into sensitive subject matter such as r@p3, s3xual assault, elder abuse, inc3$t, and Chris Chan ADMITTING TO (ALLEGEDLY) HARMING HER OWN MOTHER. (There will be videos linked in this post if you want to watch them. PROCEED WITH CAUTION.)

If any of those subjects is triggering for you in ANY WAY, or they just flat-out make you uncomfortable, please don't feel like you're obligated to read this post. I understand that these subjects are extremely sensitive, and I'm going to try my hardest to talk about these subjects in the most respectful manner possible. I don't want to bring back any trauma you or someone you know may have. That's the last thing I would ever want to do. Put your mental health and well-being first. Again, like I say with every post that talks about sensitive subject matter that may be triggering or uncomfortable for people, consume media that sparks joy for you.

Any resources that you or someone you know may need will be in this post too. Some countries might not even have resources for things like this locally, but I will try my best to find them.

United States:

Canada:

Latin America:

South America:

ALL European countries:

ALL of Africa:

ALL of the Middle East:

ALL of Asia:

Australia:

New Zealand:

Anyone who's still here, let's get on with the subject of this post, which are the current events in Chris Chan's life.

Recently, Chris Chan has admitted to (allegedly) s3xually assaulting Barbara, her elderly mother. There is audio that was leaked yesterday of her admitting to this very (alleged) action.

One of the phone calls that was leaked is below. This is that full phone call:

Here's a video with the segments where Chris admitted to (allegedly) s3xually assaulting Barbara (WARNING: THE THUMBNAIL IS GROSS):

As of now, Barbara is currently in the hospital for a mental wellness check to see if she's lucid. She's also there for a r@p3 test to see if there was any penetration.

Chris was detained (most likely to be questioned), then released. Her initial plans were to stay with her aunt and uncle, who live near where she and her mother live. Those plans fell through, as apparently they rejected Chris. She's not allowed to have any contact with her mother, or be at the house until August 5th. Their pets are currently left unattended in the house....I don't know who's going to be taking care of the animals with nobody there. I don't know where Chris will be staying for the next few days. That hasn't been disclosed to the public, as far as I've been able to do research on these current events.

I cannot say that Chris has actually COMMITTED THIS CRIME until the test results come in for Barbara, Chris is tried in court, Chris gets a prison sentence, and Barbara is put into a nursing home. That's why I said she (Chris) admitted to ALLEGEDLY committing this crime.

Incest between a mother and son (that's how the crime was written, please forgive me) in the state of Virginia is a Class 5 felony. Class 5 felonies are considered "wobblers", as they can be deemed felonies or misdemeanors, depending on the circumstances. If deemed a felony, Chris could face from one to up to ten years in prison. If deemed a misdemeanor, Chris could face up to twelve months in prison. Because Chris is on disability, they might go easier on her. On the flip side, because of Barbara's age, they might go harder on Chris.

If Barbara happened to be lucid during those events, the charges above would apply. If she wasn't lucid at all and was confused, shit would get VERY serious for Chris.

I also can't exactly say if the phone call is even real; however, there's evidence of Chris admitting to having a fetish for old people, including her own mother. According to a person Chris is friends with, she's had dreams about having s3x with her mother. I also am not sure if Chris is confusing herself with having s3x with fucking MEWTWO, if she was coerced into lying, or if she's hiding something else and decided to say this to cover her own ass. Did I mention she's married to some of her own characters (Magi-Chan, Cryzel, and Sylvana) AND Mewtwo from Pokémon? THAT'S TRUE. YOU CAN LOOK THAT UP IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE ME.

Why do I say that Barbara needs to be in a nursing home? BECAUSE CHRIS OBVIOUSLY ISN'T FIT TO TAKE CARE OF HER OWN MOTHER. I'D LIKE HER MOM TO BE SAFE WITH PEOPLE WHO CAN ACTUALLY TAKE CARE OF HER.

This whole situation is disgusting and it makes me sick to my stomach. Chris Chan is a MONSTER. I hope Barbara's okay. I know she's not a very good person either (welp, birds of a feather flock together), but I do have sympathy for the elderly and what happened to her is unforgivable.

Some other YouTubers who have talked about this are Gibi and Rogue The Internet Man, as far as I know for now.

#Youtube #mello speaks #chris chan #tw r@pe #tw elder abuse #tw inc*st #tw sex assault #this situation is disgusting #anti chris chan #fuck cwc #i hope barbara's okay #as an autistic woman we don't claim chris chan #tw dhar mann mention #tw chris chan