#OH JESUS!!!

[dykealloy]

#CJ's op watch-through #luffy: friend? new friend? law wants to be friend? #law: oh jesus christ what have i done #one piece #op #lawlu

[p4nishers]

i cant get over the ball being so CLEARLY all for crowley i can't get over aziraphale trying to woo him with a WHOLE FUCKING BALL because that's what he knows that's what romance IS for him because he's been wanting to dance with crowley ever since dancing was invented and he's so stuck in time with the way he dresses and talks and he still thinks a dance is the high of romance AND HE MADE A WHOLE ENTIRE FUCKING BALL FOR CROWLEY JUST SO HE COULD DANCE WITH HIM like now it's so fucking obvious he gave away his BOOKS without a second thought and it was all for crowley he organised a whole JANE AUSTEN THEME BALL just so he could have an excuse to finally dance with the love of his life and i can't get over this i'm shaking my fists and pacing up and down he did not give a single fuck about anything other than dancing with crowley and HE BARELY TOUCHED OTHER PEOPLE'S HANDS WHILE HIS WHOLE FUCKING PALM WAS PRESSED TO CROWLEY'S AND i need to lie down

#im actually not okay im never getting over this #this was actually the most romantic thing to ever happen on television prove me wrong you can't #no because he spent CENTURIES reading about and witnessing and orchestring romances and he's been wanting to living in them WITH CROWLEY al #this fucking time and crowley rescuing his books was the most romantic thing that ever happened to him and in return HE GAVE AWAY THE BOOKS #HE LOVES SO FUCKING MUCH FOR CROWLEY AND OH GOD OH JESUS #how am i still not normal about this show im literally box breathing and my heart is fucking POUNDING from a SHOW i cant i just cant #i need psychiatric help #good omens #good omens s2 #azicrow #crowley #aziraphale #aziracrow #ineffable spouses #good omens season 2 #ineffable husbands #go s2

[inkskinned]

yesterday while feverish i wrote about how boats can moor next to each other like pigeons, cooing with the gentle rap of water against their hull. you once said that that the way i see things - birds in the water, feathers in marina paint - was "childish and naive." you said i'd been misdiagnosed - "it can't all be adhd. you might be just kind of stupid and lazy."

i still do certain things like how you taught me - turn the pillow case inside out before putting it on. drive defensively. hate myself entirely.

the prompt for this poem is "mahler's fifth." i wish it wasn't, but mahler's fifth was our song. it ended up in my book. every person that knows your name has promised me they'll give you one swift rabbit punch, right to the face. dean read the book and showed up on my front porch, drenched in sweat from running the 8 miles at 4 in the morning. he was shaking. pacifist and gentle - he works with children - i'd never seen him furious. a punch isn't going to do it, he said, and then said i'm sorry. i had to come to see if you were okay.

mahler's fifth was mine first, like my girlhood. i like the way each movement piles onto the next movement, each instrument bleeding into the next. i like the horn version the best. before i met you, i danced to it on grass still-wet from sprinklers.

later you would tell me that the way you heard it was somehow better. you understood something in it that i couldn't quite wrap my fingers into. once, on our anniversary, you asked the classical music radio station to play it for us. we missed hearing it because we were fighting. one of the things people get wrong about abuse is that sometimes victims are, like, brutally aware of the stupidity of our situation. what do you mean that you thought i wasn't good enough for you? you? you're just... nothing.

sometimes people can pull the poetry out of your life. i watched my words become clothesline, and then thin out into kite twine. i watched you chew through every good syllable of me. so many good songs and places and moments were ruined. i am glad you didn't like most of my music - less to tie back to you.

but still mahler's fifth. the music swells, and i am 21 and throwing up in a bathroom on my birthday. a woman i will later refer to as lesbian jesus runs a cool hand down my back, her perfect pantsuit starch-pressed. she told me to leave you. she said - and this is true, and not an invention of rhyme or fantasy - i'm you from the future.

i am 22, and i got home from an award ceremony, and i remember you telling me - you act so proud of yourself when you're actually so fucking embarrassing. i took you to disney world. you took my virginity. i gave up visiting spain for a week with my family - i instead choose you, to spend the time just-cuddling. you called it "our fuck week." the music swells. it probably should have been a red flag that for about 3 years - i just gave up on crying. my grandfather died and you said nothing. my uncle died and you ghosted me for 3 weeks. you said i need to protect myself from your ongoing tragedy.

every so often i come back to the memory of one of our last afternoons in person. i had just told you that i wasn't going to law school, despite the free ride - i was going to join a creative writing program. master's in fine arts. i was going to finally do it - i was going to follow my dreams. this blog was already internet-famous. however reluctantly, i would occasionally refer to myself as a poet. i got into umass amherst's writing program for fiction authors. it is one of the the top 5 programs in the country.

wait are you seriously considering actually attending that? dumbfounded, you turned completely towards me in your seat. for the 3rd time in our relationship, you almost crashed the car. you actually want to be a writer?

the first time i went viral, it was for a poem i wrote about you:

he wants to say i love you but keeps it to goodnight because love will take some falling and she's afraid of heights.

every time i see that, i want to throw up. you weren't in love with me, you were in love with the control you had over me. a little truth though: i am afraid of heights. you caught a rabbitgirl and skinned her alive.

mahler's fifth still makes me sick.

give me that back. give me back music. give me back everything i had before you. give me back fearlessness. give me back bravery. give me back a scarless body.

give me back what you took from me.

#nosebleed club #sorry stephen not ur fault #just like. thinking #writeblr #spilled ink #warm up #every time nat is like - oh let me get that for u #im like .... this is a trick right like ur gonna be mean now bc u did something nice rn #so obviously if ur being nice now either u did something mean and im about to learn about it #or you're going to BE mean #or ur gonna hold this over my head forever and i'll never get a nice thing ever again? #and every time nat is like .... babe i just actually like u #lesbian jesus story is 100% real btw. she also told me not to be an event planner #literally changed the shape of my life

[redsray]

big fan of the trope that is separate hero teams working with their respective bats but not knowing that they're Bats- and once they find out they go "Batman has KIDS?!?" but once it's known it becomes SO BLARINGLY OBVIOUS. the "how did we not notice before" kind of obvious.

Dick's glare (once you've done something to deserve it) definitely rivals Batman's. Jason's confident and sly smirks whenever he solves something can be seen on the Bat every time he's working. Tim's 'displeased and thinking' face is all Batman. Not to mention all of them lurk in the shadows and appear out of nowhere 90% of the time and are all crazy smart. Of course, if you told any of them that they were acting like Batman they'd throw up on the spot.

#batfam #batman #dc comics #dick grayson #jason todd #tim drake #like you wouldn't really guess they're batmans KIDS at first #associates yes mentees yeah sure #but kids? #but then you know and its like #oh #damn right theyre his kids jesus christ #oh and no i did no forget the other sillies #i just couldnt think of one for damian cass steph or duke #if you think of any add em on!

[chrollohearttags]

meg baby, I promise we’ll all look the other way if you decide to strangle that chimera ant built bitch. I promise we won’t say nothing.

#nicki got to be one of the nastiest bitches I’ve ever seen in my life #you ain’t had a fucking hit in 10 yrs good enough to act the way you do #it’s crazy it took her being so vile to meg for ppl to get it #it’s always ‘protect blk women’ w/her until it’s somebody she don’t like lmao #and her only beef with her is that she collabed with cardi #the only one who stuck by her side mind you so ofc she #she’s been terrible and I remember back in 2017 when ppl jumped me for ‘defending a Latina woman’ over her #the same bitch that co opted a hashtag meant for missing and murdered blk women for her own bullshit #while cardi was using her platform to speak up for breonna Taylor and police brutality? oh okay #she’s a nasty witch and her karma will come #rap beef aside #‘how you got 3 Grammys and can’t stay on beat?’ #how are you the supposed queen and been rapping since Jesus was in Jerusalem but have zero? #bringing up her dead mother..you deserve to rot #cherry chats 🍒 #I’m so happy cardi no longer feeds into her bullshit and lets her stupid ass talk to the wall #all the new girls are outshining her and I’m so glad they don’t have to grovel to her #the fact that these girls just came out and are her competition says more abt nicki than it does Meg cardi latto or anybody else #her peers should be missy kim queen latifah etc #and yet she’s linking up with 23 year olds and beefing with girls 20 years her junior #guess that predator spirit run in the family huh

[spooksier]

relistening to tma and losing my mind more with each episode. anyways. today we're talking about how there are three characters in the show who are meant to be/groomed to be "the chosen one" for some specific purpose (agnes for the lightless flame, gerry to carry on some esoteric bloodline, jon for the watcher's crown/the web's escape plan) and all three of them have that running theme of being completely powerless in every aspect of their lives despite being made to be something powerful. we never get agnes' own perspective on her own life, gerry dies and is kept in limbo for *years*, and jon is marked to be the antichrist from age 8, like all of them were used as tools rather than people and if you couple that with all three at some point expressing that their fantasy is to live a normal life and be a normal person but they were trapped by divinity......fucked up if true

#tma #sorry we're back in the tma meta era i love writing it #i just listened to the agnes/jack barnabas ep can you tell #i love you agnes girl #now writing an au fic where it's jon and martin instead of agnes/jack and jon is a full fledged archivist........ #me halfway through writing this: oh jesus christ. princess zelda of hyrule. #i heart divinity/divine purpose being a curse! i heart it!!!!

[arthur-lesters-right-arm]

Oh man I'm about to be tortured by a crazy serial killer, I think I should try homoerotically degrading him like a dog. It won't make it better, in fact, it'll probably make it worse. But I think we should give it a try anyways

#Update: it made it worse #post update: it made it better (?) #post post update: oh god oh fuck his head exploded Jesus god fuck his brains are everywhere oh god fuck Jesus okay #malevolent #malevolent podcast #malevolent spoilers #malevolent 34 #the butcher #collins malevolent #dennis collins #arthur lester #arthur malevolent #malevolent arthur

[common-world-domination]

JOHN: he doesn't have a dog? DAVEPETA: B33 < maybe hes talking about karcat

and then they all watched the mlp:fim movie and proceeded to get into a heated argument over character analysis afterward. john interrupts them all by going "well i like pinkie pie! she's silly." and they all just stop arguing and are like yeah. yeah pinkie pie is silly.

#hs #homestuck #dave strider #dirk strider #john egbert #davepeta #davepetasprite #arquiusprite #arquius #i'd tag equius and hal but they're literally just sitting there dead silent the whole time so #also lowkey dirkjohn but so is everything i make at this point #this is another idea thats been polluting my brain so i just had to get it out #this could be post ALTTLau but i havent really decided #JESUS tumblr really compressed the shit out of these panels huh #oh well just pretend the artifacting is on purpose

[desperatecheesecubes]

It would be so funny if, instead of recording a heartfelt message, Jason just called Bruce a bitch one last time

#jason todd #Batman eternal 52 #mine #I can’t believe y’all got this to 1K #oh good lord now it’s at 1.5k #holy fuck we’re at 2k #I ain’t got nothing for 2.5K #3k my bewildered #I need a tag for 3.5K now?! #I gotta come up with something for 4K now? #stop this we’re at 4.5k now #5k means this post is breaching containment #5.5k and this post is officially the peoples #6K is beyond me actually #6.5k? jesus #7K is a cool number actually #holy shitsnacks 7.5k #y’all really like Jason huh? #8K means y’all need to calm down #8.5K and I am running out of snarky comments #9K huh?? #9.5K are you serious #no but for real when did that happen lmaoo

[dailypikminrenders]

pikmin 1 promotional render, 2001

#OH. OKAY #the tonal shift compared to other p1 renders jesus #pikmin #pikmin 1 #captain olimar #olimar #red pikmin #yellow pikmin #blue pikmin

[tomcriuse]

The Hunger Games: Catching Fire 2013, dir. Francis Lawrence

#oh jesus christ no one fucking talk to me #the hunger games #thgedit #filmedit #userrobin #usersugar #userdiana #katniss x peeta #arthurpendragonns #usersameera #userkpfun #filmgifs #userbbelcher #underbetelgeuse #usersavana #tusershay #userlindir #tuserdana #userkd #*mine

[paper-lilypie]

okay.

#fnaf #post fire au #sun x reader #moon x reader #maybe. maybe you’ve muddled muddied waters #just what the heck are you getting yourself into (psychological edition) #oh Jesus you barely have money to pay for groceries what do you MEAN these robots need therapy #fanart #art: copper cogs rusted through

[promisingyounglady]

four eyes. | BF x Reader

PAIRINGS: Bob Floyd x Fem!Reader

SYNOPSIS: asking bob to make a mess of himself on your face while you wear his glasses? absolutely.

WORD COUNT: 1.8k

WARNINGS: ahem, SMUT, established relationship, profanity, oral (m!receiving), deepthroating, facial, handjob, cum eating, dirty talk, begging, slightly sub!reader, praise, aftercare and such sweet affection from bobby, not proofread and mdni!!, reader is a minx, brief mention of term ‘slut’, size kink, awkward sweetheart w a big dick!bob,

A/N: this is the most filthiest shit I’ve ever written and if you like this ur crazy… *reblogs, comments and likes the post*

“What are you up to?” he drawls, watching carefully as you crawl over his naked midriff and through the sea of bedsheets. Post-sex endorphins were through the roof right now for Bob, a wave of happy tiredness sweeping over the pilot.

You huff, hand outstretched as you reach for Bob's glasses perched on the bedside table.

“I wanna try these on” you say to him, balancing yourself as you try to grab the frames. Bob chuckles, a hand coming to rub your ass lovingly.

You bit your lip to fight the feeling of a grin spreading on your face, the feeling of Bob's soft hands tickling you as you playfully pushed him away, all the while he simply beams at you.

The hand supporting yourself on his hard chest slips, causing you to collapse on top of your boyfriend, your naked breasts brushing over his cock and sending a shiver down his spine.

A firm hand comes to still yourself. “Careful” he says softly, hands warm.

Bob looks over, grabbing the glasses just as you were about to pick them up, and holding them out of your reach. You protest, trying to get ahold of the frames you loved so much. Bob puts them on, allowing himself to properly see his girl.

“You don’t wanna wear these, they don’t look good on anyone. Including me.” he mumbles, adjusting you on top of him.

But you're quick to swipe them off his face, ignoring Bob's laughs when you put the glasses on yourself and straddle his hips. “I like them, they’re cute,” you tell him.

“Well what d’ya know?” Bob utters softly to himself when he sees you, gazing up at his girl wearing the steel rimmed aviators and looking absolutely breathtaking.

“Hi there, four eyes” he chuckles, finding it odd saying a phrase he’s been nicknamed all his childhood. Hell, even Seresin has no problem calling him that to this day.

Bob smiles, strong but soft hands coming to rest on your hips as you sat dangerously close to where his happy trail leads to. Your brows furrowed as you viewed the world through his lenses.

“Jesus, Bob, you really are blind!” You uttered, looking down at the blurry man seated against the bedpost.

Bob’s become busy at the moment, pressing pecks to your hardended nipples. He simply nods, pretending he’s listening.

“You should go to the eye doctor, honey”

Bob peaks through, giving you a look. “That’s where I got them”

“Hm.”

The room is silent, a soft glow of the afternoon sunlight peeking through the white shutters. You feel the corners of Bob’s lips curling into a smile against your skin, a silent worship to your body.

“You’re so soft.” he murmurs.

“Honey,” you call to your boyfriend.

“Hm?” Bob replies absentmindedly, still brushing his face along your chest, hugging you closer.

You tug on his brown locks, pulling his head from your body and looking down at him.

“I wanna try something.” you grinned, a mischievous glint in your eyes mixed with a bottle of excitement. You quickly press a kiss to his lips.

Bob watches as you pull from his grasp, lips forming a small frown from the loss of contact as you shuffled down the bed so you were now kneeling on the floor by the edge.

Bob looks over at you quizzically, wondering what you were up to before you beckon towards him, ushering him to sit at the edge of the bed.

“Come sit, Robert” you directed, calling him by his birth name to get his attention.

His soft cock limps near his thighs as he adjusts himself, sitting before you in all his naked glory, hair tousled by your hands and a pink blush ghosting his cheeks. His hand comes up to play with your hair, tucking a loose strand behind your ear. You look up in seriousness and confess.

“I want you to cum on these glasses”

Bob stops all motion, hand still tucked behind your ear. The room falls silent.

“What?”

You ignore the bafflement of your crimson cheeked boyfriend, bending down to lick a long stripe up his veiny shaft. A loud moan and harsh tug against your scalp brings you to take him further, almost triggering your gag reflexes. It all happens so fast. Bob mutters incoherently from the sudden gesture, both of you going slightly insane when your nose presses against his pubic bone as tears form near your eyes.

“Baby, hold on a moment, Jesus fuck!”

You’re worried you’re going to make a mess on the floor from the way your slick almost drips from your pussy.

You’ve been thinking of this fantasy for a while if you were to be honest. Bob pulls you back, gasping for air as a proud feeling settles in your chest. It’s not everyday you hear Bob cuss like that.

He’s panting hard, watching as a bit of saliva is smeared on your lips, eyes glossy. Bob sighs in exasperation as you decide to stroke his cock with your hands.

“You gotta let me speak-“

“Please, Bobby” you beg, pressing kisses to the pink tip and relishing in the way you feel him harden in your hand. A loud groan escapes Bob's throat, feeling sensitive despite having had sex the whole afternoon with you.

“I want you to cum while I have your glasses on” you told him, kitten licks getting the best of your boyfriend. “Like in those pornos” you mumble softly, your shy giggles driving Bob insane.

“Nobody says pornos anymore” he mumbles telling you, swallowing hard when you tug on his cock tighter for not responding.

Bob clears his throat. “You, um, want me to give you a facial?” He asks softly, holding onto your hand that's stroking his cock.

You nod eagerly.

“A-Are you sure?” He says, worried that taking him like this is gonna wear you out. In all honesty, the boy can’t help but grow hard at the thought of cumming all over your innocent face, big eyes covered by his glasses milked by his seed.

You nod, excitement and horniness flowing through your body.

“Please, honey, I want you to see me painted” you sighed, thumb brushing over the thick tip, smearing precum over the slit.

Bob thinks he’s gonna cum just from this angle, but he needs you so badly he tries to regain composure. He bends down to kiss you, tasting himself on your lips and letting your face be held in his soft touch. “Let me know if it's too much baby” he addresses in concern, the tears on your cheeks worrying him.

You sniffle, nodding your head to assure him. “Want you so bad, Bobby, let me suck you”

Your last few words are incoherent from the way you let Bob’s big cock stuff your throat, making you gag but desperately hold on. Bob lets go, both hands coming to balance himself on the edge, one gripping the bed sheets.

The sensation is fucking marvellous. You feel so full, loving the way the stretch of your mouth and untouched ache of your pussy turn you cockdrunk on Bob Floyd’s dick.

You look up, desperate to see how he's taking you, wanting to see the expression of him getting the daylights sucked out of him.

Lieutenant Bob ruts his hips pathetically, trying so hard not to make a mess of your mouth and hurt you. His head is pulled back, groans falling from his soft lips as he praises you so good.

“That’s it baby, doing so well for me” he sighs, now two large hands coming to push you a little further, a groan falling from his lips as you take him fully now.

“God, I love you!” he cries out loud, an instinctive response coming from your boyfriend as he caresses your hair, tucking a strand behind your ear. You smile, aviator lenses reflecting the light as your lips are wrapped securely around his dick.

”So pretty, such a pretty girl” he says under his breath, admiring the way your tits bounce along with every stroke on his cock. You gasp, pulling away as you let your fist do the rest.

“I love you too, Bobby” you gasped, looking up to find Bob staring at you intensely, with such a fierce gaze of love, sensuality, and pure awe.

”H-How,” he begins, starting to feel a familiar feeling settle inside him. “How did I get so lucky with you?” He admits, wanting nothing more but to see his cum painting his glasses you’re wearing. He thinks he might just let you have them. Being able to see is overrated anyways.

“I think I’m gonna cum, baby” he lets out, watching as your eyes get eager, adjusting your sore knees so you can get the perfect angle.

“Please baby, give it to me” you begged, pussy so sensitive you have to make sure you hold yourself up enough so the cold wooden floors don’t brush against your folds.

Watching you rub his dick like that, mouth open and face ready is an image Bob will have ingrained in his mind forever, a hot spurt of milky liquid shooting onto your lips as Bob finally gives you what you wanted.

Incoherent mumbles fill the sweaty bedroom, letting one hand cup his balls as the other makes sure to smear the warm fluid all over your lips, glasses starting to get foggy.

“Fucking hell” Bob cries out, spilling your name from his lips like a sacred mantra.

You hum, a wave of both happiness and satisfaction washing over you as you sit in front of Bob’s glory.

You let the man come down from his high, tasting salt and your boyfriend in your mouth. Before you can even clean yourself up, Bob is ripping off the dirtied glasses framing your face, and grabbing you towards him for a passionate kiss. The action makes you dizzy, your red, sore knees almost buckling under.

It’s only a while after when he pulls away, grabbing for a box of tissues near the nightstand and pressing a kiss to your cheek. “I’m sorry for the mess” he replies shyly, the image of this tall, naked, handsome, and yet totally awkward giant taking care of you making it all worthwhile.

“It’s okay” you reply, voice hoarse. You couldn’t help but feel happy, even if you didn’t cum (Bob would see to it later of course).

You feel him use the tissues to wipe your chin, face, and tits, or really, what was leftover after you sucked it all up like a slut.

“You’re crazy sometimes, you know that?” Bob mumbles, shaking his head as he smiles at you, his soft touch so rewarding.

You laugh, latching your arms around his neck and letting him hoist you up so easily. His semi-hard cock limps against your stomach, both of you standing up and lips pressing together in another soft kiss.

”Thank you for the most mind blowing head of my life.” He jokes.

”Thanks for the facial” you gleam, sucking your fingers with a pop that makes Bob weak, falling back down on the mattress and taking you with him so you’re straddling him again.

Bob reaches for the glasses, getting a tissue so he could wipe them before an idea pops in your head and you stop him.

You put on the glasses again. He looks up.

“Bobby, where’s the Polaroid camera?”

#oh my fuck I have done it again #dear Jesus it’s me again #fic: four eyes #bob floyd smut #bob floyd x reader #bob floyd #bob floyd fanfiction #bob floyd fanfic #bob floyd fluff #bob floyd fic #bob floyd x you #top gun maverick smut #top gun imagine #top gun fanfiction #top gun maverick #top gun bob floyd #lewis pullman #lewis pullman smut #lewis pullman fluff #lewis pullman x reader #bob floyd Angst #bob floyd imagine #top gun fic #top gun: maverick #top gun maverick fanfiction #promising young lady : enid writes📝 #robert bob floyd

[obbystars]

ngh…

THIS IS MY BBG RIGHT HERE THATS MY WIFE GUYS OH MY GOD I LOVE MY WIFE

#MARRY ME PLEASEEEE #GIVE ME A CHANCE OH MY GODDD #i need to be with this man #i need him #jesus christ please let me #honkai star rail boothill #hsr boothill #boothill #honkai star rail leaks #honkai star rail #star rail leaks #star rail #hsr #hsr leaks

[fearandhatred]

i just think the way aziraphale dresses is so hot. the dress shirt and then a thick vest over that, and THEN a coat over that... you know what maybe more is more

#fearandhatred #layers are just so attractive idk #i might kill someone #saw a photo of aziraphale in the full getup with part of his dress shirt peeking out from under his coat sleeves #and i was like oh my god. holy shit. jesus christ #and DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED on his hair #good omens #aziraphale

[pacificwaternymph]

I love Arcane because on the one hand you have this bitter, angry young woman who was kidnapped and illegally detained in a federal prison for pretty much the entirety of her teen years, and when she's finally set free she finds that nothing is as she remembers it, all the people she once knew are either gone or irreversibly changed, and she doesn't know where her place in the world is anymore.

And then on the other hand you have this rich girl nepo baby rookie cop taking two steps outside her own neighborhood and being hit with the realization that her government REALLY FUCKING SUCKS.

And they're gay.

#i just love watching caitlyn slowly becoming more and more radicalized as she realizes #oh hey wow the way our society and government are structured is really fucked actually #anyway arcane is great definitely in my top five shows of all time #arcane #arcane league of legends #caitvi #vicait #violyn #piltover's finest #jesus why do they have so many ship names