Greek gods/titans as quotes from me and my friends without context
Zeus: “Colonialism is trending”
Artemis: “(Apollo) I’m taking you back to the department store. I don’t have my receipt but they’ll probably give me store credit”
Ares: “Because they’re fucking divorced”
Hermes: “Don’t mind me I’m just over here, edging hubris”
Apollo: “This isn’t a kink it’s an accommodation”
Also Apollo: “When it comes to Greek… it’s Greek” Athena: “very insightful”
Helios: “well we can’t all have skin cancer so it’s fine.”
Deimos: “I’m the Henry Ford of torture devices. So simple. So efficient. Never before have you been able to torture this many people at once.”
Dionysus: “Y’all know I got that lactose free dick”
Eros and Phobos “A little flair if you will” “I won’t” “you will”
Poseidon: “Everybody gangster till the Cyclopes show up”
Hephaestus: “they look cute and then you get rabies. Like (Ares).”
Hermes: “you know what (Ares), I only have one thing to say to you *starts playing Rasputin*”
Menoitios: “come here you little fucker you’re going in the meat grinder”
Hades as a teenager: “I’m just drawing emo wolves. Don’t read into it.”
Clio: “I want to listen to Hamilton I need to calm myself down. *frantically scrolling on phone* WHERES THE TEN DOLLAR FOUNDING FATHER WHEN I NEED HIM”
Artemis at Apollo “every single god from every single religion is judging you right now. Yes, that includes Cthulhu.”
Dionysus: “I’m blonde, I’m skinny, I’m rich, and my balls really itch”
Artemis at all men “what if we put our Minecraft beds next to each other. In the nether.”
Phobos: “You know what really gets me going in the bedroom? The River Styx.”
Themis: “Ladies and gentlemen I will be your judge, jury and executioner”
Athena at Dionysus/Pan“Well, I’d say you’re incredibly manic if I was diagnosing you”
Hermes: “the president? I’m glad that isn’t a tradition”
Poseidon and Dionysus completely drunk: *singing boats and hoes from step brothers at full volume in a public space* “THE NINA THE PINTA THE SANTA MARIA-“
Ares, constantly, at everyone “You, with no weapons or armor, me with full enchanted netherite and a trident with impaling V and channeling I. /weather set thunder mother fucker.”
And bonus: demigods
Blue is Percy Jackson, green is Grover Underwood, orange is Annabeth Chase
“Plot twist, William Afton is Hephaestus” “I think that’s what we call blasphemy” “that’s a weird way to spell Hephaestus” “ok so-what was his motivation for the child murder-?”
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pjo characters featuring the italian nightmare : estatè wars
for foreigners: estathè is a type of tea sold by ferrero (the same brand who sells nutella) and in Italy we often fight about this because some people like lemon estathè more than peach estathè or viceversa
so here’s my headcanon about percy jackson characters
lemon or peach estathè?
nico di angelo : peach
annabeth chase : lemon
percy jackson : peach
leo valdez : peach
piper mclean : lemon
hazel levesque : lemon
frank zhang : lemon
octavian : peach
reyna avila ramirez arellano : peach
jason grace : lemon
will solace : lemon
lavinia asimov : lemon
grover underwood : green tea
that’s all
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