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#Queued to meet you
magicshop · 19 days
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seokjin + iconic solo performances for @cordiallyfuturedwight ♡ [cr. namuspromised]
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puppetmaster13u · 8 months
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As voted on, have a Tim from @phoenixcatch7 's Possessed Doll Au
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rexscanonwife · 1 month
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I know a lot of ppl aren't comfortable with seeing canon/canon ships with their f/os but rexwalker is honestly such a comfort for me 😭😭
Like? It's there, Anakin is so in love with rex it makes him look stupid, and he doesn't even realize it. It also helps that Ani is my best friend so you know 💖🫶💖
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kentopedia · 6 months
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good morning <3 it is my least favorite day of the week, but we will get through it as always !
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positivelyadhd · 7 months
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I started listening to Bears in Trees because of you! Saw your comment on a random post and was like “okay sure, I’ll listen to this total stranger’s band recommendation” ♥︎
oh my goodness I'm glad you like them and that I could introduce them to you!! I feel like so so much of their music and lyrics put words to parts of mental illness and recovery (especially "rust" and "ramblings of a lunatic" my beloved <33) that no one else really does and they just,, GET IT. but also the way they talk about friends and insecurity and wanting to get better but finding it hard. they make me feel seen more than any other artist I think and I love to have the opportunity to share that <33
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victorluvsalice · 2 months
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Valicer OT3 Week, Day Five: Nontraditional Soulmates
In the home stretch of @ot3-week's OT3 Week, and we've come to a good one today -- "Nontraditional soulmates!" Which, of course, is a perfect opportunity for me to bust out the Soulmates AU I came up with for the trio! :D I did two fics for this for last year's Polyship Week, and this one is sort of the sequel to the first, "Day Four: Soulmates." (The second being "Day Six: Drabble(s)," and coming even later in the timeline.) That story dealt with Victor running into Alice in the Whitechapel marketplace and accidentally activating their soulbond, only for a slightly-panicked Alice to run, leaving Victor to report the discovery to his other soulmate Smiler alone -- here, we have Alice, having mostly gotten over her initial "SHIT IT'S MY SOULMATE I'M NOT READY" reaction, finding her way to Victor via the bond so they can actually talk -- only to hesitate right outside his door...
--
All right. Here we are. No turning back now...no matter how much I kind of want to turn back.
Alice rocked anxiously on her heels, staring at the door in front of her. It was a pretty plain, ordinary door, all things considered. Little more than a flat piece of wood with a handle attached. Oh sure, there was a bit of perfunctory decoration in the form of a couple of shallow squares roughly dug out of the front, and the usual assortment of nicks and dings acquired from daily living, but other than that – it was an uncomplicated door for an uncomplicated building. There was nothing special or interesting about it at all, really.
Beyond the fact that one Victor Van Dort, her soulmate, was behind it.
Alice swallowed, worrying her lip with her teeth. It is so bizarre to just – know he’s there, she thought. With the sort of rock-solid certainty I don’t have about anything else in my life right now. But then – he must know I’m here, right? Why doesn’t he just – open the door? Spare me the trouble of knocking? But then again, he didn’t try to chase me when I ran from him in the market...perhaps he assumes that I still want to make the first move. And since we can only share emotions, not actual thoughts, I can’t really correct him. She sighed. Bloody hell – whoever or whatever force tied our lives together, it could have given us proper telepathy instead of just its poor cousin.
“It could have,” Cheshire agreed, sitting by her feet. “But it didn’t. Time to turn thought into action and spur him forward in the process.” He gave her a trademark grin, teeth glittering in the dim light of the hallway. “Or purrhaps spur forward someone else.”
Don’t you lot even think of intruding, Alice scolded, giving him her best glare. I mean, yes, he probably knows about you and Wonderland already, and how mucked-up my mind is, but – my stomach’s already in knots about this. She ran her thumb over her wrist, tracing the faint line that only she – and Victor – knew about. I don’t need the stress of having to wrangle you or Caterpillar or Hatter or God forbid the Queen of Hearts into the bargain.
“Have it your way,” Cheshire said, fading to eyes and smile. “Though I think you’ll soon find it’s not only us who can intrude.”
And with that, he was gone – predictably before she could ask him what the hell he meant. She looked up and down the hallway, but there was no one else there – and none of the doors to the other flats in this place looked ready to open anytime soon. “Maddening,” she muttered, shaking her head. “As if I needed any help in that regard...”
But he’d had a point before he’d vanished – nothing was going to happen if she didn’t make it happen. Alice ran her fingers through her hair to neaten it a bit, brushed off her skirts, then plucked up her courage and rapped smartly on the door. A moment later, it opened –
Revealing, of all people, Nanny’s new bartender at the Mangled Mermaid.
Alice stared. The bartender – one Smiler Alton, if she recalled correctly – stared back. Then, just before it could get awkward, they snorted. “Oh – that Alice,” they said, apropos of nothing. “I didn’t think I lived in that coincidental a universe.”
“...beg pardon?” Alice said, for lack of anything better.
“What she said.”
Victor appeared in the doorway behind Smiler, looking as confused as she felt. “Uh – hello,” he greeted her, before turning his attention to his – roommate? “‘That Alice?’”
“From the Mermaid,” Smiler explained, glancing up at him. “She’s Nan’s old charge – dropped by a couple of times to talk to her. Didn’t expect to see you under these circumstances,” they added in her direction.
“When it comes down to it, neither did I,” Alice said, tilting her head. “You and Victor live together?”
“Ah – yes,” Victor said, twisting his tie. Alice found herself resisting the urge to fiddle with her own blouse’s collar as the nerves poured off him and into her. “I – I d-don’t know how much the b-bond told you, but...well...”
“Hi,” Smiler cut in, sporting their namesake expression. “I’m your other soulmate.”
...Not even “beg pardon” seemed sufficient for that. “What?” Alice blurted. “You – but – what?”
“Yes, ah, sometimes – sometimes you can get two,” Victor said, shooting Smiler a look before favoring her with an awkward smile. “It’s, um, k-kind of a long story...how about you come in?”
“There’s tea and biscuits in it for you,” Smiler promised, stepping out of the way.
No, I want you to explain to me what the hell you mean by “sometimes you can get two” right now – but before Alice could put words to tongue, she caught sight of Smiler’s arm, resting against the door frame. Specifically, their wrist, leaned up against the wood above their head. Even more specifically, the thin scar running along said wrist –
That looked very, very much like the kind one might get if they’d taken a blunt spoon to their flesh in a desperate attempt to end their life. Alice swallowed and nodded. “I – I think I could use some tea right now, thank you.”
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causalitylinked · 11 months
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@badheart​​ — continued from here ;;
    When she finally turns, regarding him with what appeared to be a flabbergasted expression, his eyes would only widen just the subtlest bit; after all, Ryuto didn’t believe he said anything to potentially set Fang off. Why, as far as he was concerned, he had been perfectly civil with her, which made her reaction all the more unfathomable to him.
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    “...Not particularly? After spotting you, my curiosity was simply piqued,” Ryuto then answers truthfully, because in all truthfulness, he simply felt like talking to her once he notices her checking out Yoshitoki Oima’s latest work. Of course, most would probably assume he would be snobby enough to believe manga wasn’t true literature, but contrary to popular belief, even he would resort to flipping through a Shonen Jump magazine every once in a while. “That was the intention, yes,” Ryuto soon goes on to nonchalantly nod.
    “I wanted to hear your thoughts regarding that manga; after all, it’s not often I would encounter women who seemingly like that particular genre,” he adds while failing to mention he did actually remember what happened between them. Ryuto just chooses not to hold a grudge over what happened because he figured the heat only served to exacerbate her mood back then... and though he did imply Fang lacked the intelligence he sought in his ideal girl, he still manages to entertain the notion he might have potentially judged her far too soon.
    Why, if nothing else, it wasn’t like he knew her all that well yet, so on the off chance she turns out to be way smarter than he had initially given her credit for, he was willing enough to apologize despite how shallow her attraction towards him was.
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ljf613 · 3 months
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OwlCrate Unboxed (01/24)
I just got my first @owlcrate box, and honestly, I wasn't really sure what to expect, or if this was really worth it-- I rarely spend more than $10 on a book, so the full charge of just one of these boxes (including shipping) definitely had me thinking twice. And what if, after all that, I didn't even like the book?
But one of the reasons I was willing to take a risk on this one was because the theme was clearly tailor-made for me specifically.
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"Enchated to Meet You"? Regency-esque romance with magic and royalty? That soft, vintage aesthetic that I adore? Yes, please.
And I was not disappointed. While I still haven't read the book, so I can't say if I'll like it or not, what I can tell you is that before I even got particularly deep into the box, I already knew that the price I'd paid was more than worth it even without the book.
(To avoid spoilers, product images and reviews beneath the cut.)
First up, this canvas tote bag:
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The design is based on a book called Once Upon a Broken Heart by Stephanie Garber. (It's on my to-read list, I'm just waiting for my hold to come in!) It's got a sweet, elfish woodland vibe going on-- I half-expect to see a tiny winged fairy peeking out from behind one of those toadstools. This bag is also has great functionality. I am always in need of a sturdy cloth bag to carry my books, and I am positive this is one I'll be getting a lot of use out of. The material is thick and durable, and it's wide and deep enough to easily hold at least half a dozen books without any stress. An all-around cute and useful item!
Next up, a reusable cleaning cloth:
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The design is based on a book called Strange the Dreamer by Laini Taylor. (I'd never heard of this book before, but it looks intriguing, so I suppose I'll add it to the list.) It's kind of generic, but I do like the colors. And it does look like the kind of thing that would be perfect for dusting my desk and bookshelves. It's probably my least favorite item in the box, but I don't hate it.
Moving on to the metal bookmark:
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The design is inspired by Emily Wilde's Encylopaedia of Faeries by Heather Fawcett. (I just read it a few weeks ago, and the sequel is currently sitting on top of my dresser waithing for me to read it.) It's supposed to be Shadow, the dog belonging to the stories main character. However, my first thought upon seeing a large black dog in a forest, standing on a pile of skulls, was of Ruth from The Ancient Magus' Bride-- who just-so-happens to be one of my favorite characters ever. I hope no one minds if I continue to see it that way. (No hate to Shadow-- he's a good boy!) It's a very whimsical design and I like it a lot!
And now the coloring kit:
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I definitely wasn't expecting this from a subscription book box, but I am absolutely not complaining. (I've been thinking I wanted to sit down with some colored pencils and coloring pages one of these days.) The quote on the left is from Pride & Prejudice (my beloved), the top-most is from Bridgerton (read the books and liked them well enough but have zero interest in watching the show), and the one on the right is from Outlander (I think that's a show based on some books, maybe I'll look into it one of these days). The quotes are lovely, I like the simple yet elegant floral designs, and I love the soft pastel color palette (and will absolutely be holding onto those pencils).
The last item (aside from the book) is the enamel pin:
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The characters shown here are Sophie and Howl (+ Calcifer!) from Howl's Moving Castle (the book, not the movie, though I love them both!). I love enamel pins and happen to have a decent-sized collection, but I don't think I've ever seen a sliding design like this. This design is absolutely enchanting, and I'm looking forward to seeing more from this pin collection in future boxes. I included the envelope it came in because I think it's really cute, and it gives me some serious Violet Evergarden vibes. (The design on the backer card is also pretty! It's really evident that a lot of thought and care was put into every aspect of every item in this box.)
And, of course, there's the book:
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This is A Fragile Enchantment by Allison Saft. I'm not going to take pictures of every single customization in this one, but suffice it to say that it looks really pretty and I'm hoping the story inside lives up to everything else in here.
All in all, I'm really happy with this box, and glad that I got it.
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wisazrid · 7 months
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Finally doing this but..
For the fanfic ya’ll voted on the poll, choose these ideas (or ask ya own, idm)
TW FOR SELF HARM AND PTSD MENTIONS!
Also 3 continued “And is rescued by gustavo and brick”
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admiraltyspride · 1 year
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OPEN
There really was no place like home. Nelson had been watching the white cliffs since they first appeared on the horizon, eager to put his feet firmly back on English soil for a while, to see Emma, his daughter, his home. The crowds had gathered to welcome back the ships, dressed to the nines, full colours for their latest victory. Portsmouth was loud with cheering crowds, handkerchiefs and hats waving as the ship was led gently to the dockside. Nelson disembarked to the glorious cheering and hand shaking that awaited him, spending a good three quarters of an hour just trying to make his way to the edge of the crowd. 
However he did feel a very noticeable difference between himself and his returning men, there was no one actually there, personally, to greet him and take him home. It would only have invited trouble if Emma had turned up anyway. So for perhaps an awkward moment as countless families reunited behind him, Nelson was stood by himself, looking on to try and see if he could see a suitable carriage that would take him straight to Merton. 
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crybaby-bkg · 2 years
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genuine question: do you guys believe in soulmates? I just finished a chapter of a fic where it talked about soulmates not being real and even tho it’s not the whole premise of the fic, it made me think, you know?
it just seems so outlandish to me that everyone has a soulmate, be it platonic or romantic, but that everyone has someone out there that’s meant for them. but at the same time, I do believe in it because I think about those moments when you meet someone, and it isn’t necessarily anything special, not some life changing moment on the spot. but it develops into something so deep and great that it physically makes you ache when you think about ever parting from them.
having a soulmate has always seemed like a “book/fiction only” concept to me, but there are moments and times where I witness or even experience and think that, there’s no way this person isn’t connected or tied to me in some higher way that I could possible imagine.
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xe-company · 1 year
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(  !  ) ... ❝ FASTEN YOUR SEATBELT! HELLO, WE’RE RUSH HOUR! ❞ ... (  !  )
RUSH HOUR is 10-member boy group under XECOMPANY. The group have gone through countless lineup changes with their initial debut as POINT OF VIEW with 8 members under CASSIOPEIA MEDIA on JANUARY 8TH, 2008. The group disbanded in 2015 with the original 8 members having quite a public fall-out between some members after sexual harassment accusations came out against original ex-member CHANHEE. When they first redebuted on MARCH 12TH, 2019 they had 9 members but after their second comeback HANEUL left due to mental health concerns and MINSEOK left the group as he wanted to leave the idol industry and move to focusing on acting. During their third comeback, ROAD TO: OVERTIME, three new members were added to the lineup. 
____
debut album — ROAD TO: OUR DESTINATION
title song — JUMP START
how many songs — 5
number of members — 9 [originally] ; 10 [currently]
age range of members — 1996 - 2004
concept — boys in the city, carefree, youth
fandom name — RODS [RIDE OR DIES]
official colors — #000000 (Black), #880000 (Dark Red), #48AEA4 (Verdigris), #043927 (Sacramento)
____
ADDITIONAL INFORMATION —
They’re one of few groups who don’t have a set lore or concept with their music. 
____
SOCIAL MEDIA —
Twitter: @/RushHourOfficial
Youtube: RUSH HOUR OFFICIAL
Reality show/idol webseries: PIT STOP  
Vlive: RUSH HOUR
Instagram: @/RUSH.HOUR.OFFICIAL
Spotify: RUSH HOUR
Monthly followers: TBD  Monthly song streamed: TBD  Top 5 streamed songs:  JUMP START JIKJIN BREAKING DAWN BACK DOWN DOOM DU DOOM Where they’re most listening in:  Phoenix, Arizona  Sydney, Australia Seoul, South Korea Los Angeles, California Bangkok, Thailand
___
DISCOGRAPHY [DD.MM.YY] —
[12.03.19] ROAD TO: OUR DESTINATION  |  [1ST MINI ALBUM]
[07.06.21] ROAD TO: BREAKING DAWN  |  [2ND MINI ALBUM]
[01.07.23] ROAD TO: OVERTIME  |  [3RD MINI ALBUM]
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deus-ex-mona · 2 years
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I’M FREE FROM VOLUME 1 OF THE MONA MANGA!!!!!!!!
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baptst · 2 years
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i wish i could go back and play fc5 for the first time again when the cult was a Scary(tm) unknown. now the seeds are just my lil scrunklies 😔
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victorluvsalice · 17 days
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AU Thursday: Smiler's Otherland -- Not-Incorrect Quotes Collection!
Because you know me and these by now XD
--
Alice: [taking Victor and Smiler on a tour of the Vale of Tears] All right, next we're heading to the Duchess's house -- not particularly because I want you two to meet her, but because the path provides some perfect opportunities for you to practice your jumping and --
Insidious Ruin: [bubbles up out of the ground in front of them, squealing and screeching]
Alice: Oh damn it. [pulls her Vorpal Blade, motioning for Victor and Smiler to hang back] You two get behind me, I'll --
Smiler: Hang on, let me try mine! [pulls out the Inoculator and hits the Ruin with a stream of bright yellow liquid]
Ruin: [stops in its tracks, blinking and dripping yellow] ...
Ruin: [lurches forward again and, with a happy noise, grabs Alice around the legs in a hug]
Alice: [jerking backward] What the --
Smiler: [grinning] Aww, it loves you!
Alice: [desperately stabbing it in the head] I DON'T WANT IT TO LOVE ME
--
Alice: [looking around Smile Street and seeing a familiar swirly-eyed grin everywhere -- painted on houses, trimmed into bushes, on people's clothing] ...
Alice: [looks up and spots the same smile on the freaking sun itself]
Alice: [taps Smiler on the shoulder and jerks her head toward it] Really?
Smiler: [gives her a look] You're giving me that when you have all those statues of yourself scattered around the Vale of Tears?
Victor: [raising a hand] If we're having a narcissism contest, my Otherland is almost entirely populated by copies of myself.
Alice: [pause] ...that is pretty bad.
Smiler: Yeah, I think you have to win that contest.
Victor: Hey!
--
Alice: [climbing aboard the SS Gryphon] Mock Turtle? Are you here?
Mock: [popping out of the captain's cabin with a giant grin] Hi Alice! Great to see you! Isn't it such a spectacular day?
Alice:
Alice: [peering around them suspiciously] Smiler? Did you use the Inoculator on Mock?!
Smiler: [calling from the cabin] He asked me to!
--
Victor: [standing with Smiler and Alice in front of Mr. Explorer's treehouse in the Butterfly Jungle] And this is Smiler! Which you might already know, but we wanted to introduce you properly.
Smiler: [beaming] Great to meet you!
Mr. Explorer: [looks Smiler up and down, focusing on the yellow-and-black-spiral-pattern waistcoat under their jacket] Oooooh! You're the reason for them!
Smiler: ?
Alice: Beg pardon?
Mr. Explorer: Just a moment! [hurries away into the undergrowth, and returns with a butterfly -- sporting yellow-and-black spiral-patterned wings] They showed up a little while ago! They're really sweet, and all the other butterflies really seem to like watching them flap around.
Alice: [lightly nudging Victor] Gee, I wonder why.
Victor: [nudging her back, whispering while slightly pink] Let's not corrupt my inner child.
--
Alice: [standing beside one of the swirly portals from the first game, now set into a rock in the new and improved Vale of Tears] And so these allow me to travel between various locations nearly instantaneously, instead of having to rely on the rail line.
Smiler: [grinning at the portal] Oh, that is neat! And they look so cool too -- don't you think so, Victor?
Victor: [staring at the portal, doesn't reply]
Smiler: ...Victor?
Alice: Victor! [snaps her fingers in front of his nose]
Victor: [starts, blinks rapidly, blushes despite himself] Oh, uh, ah, t-they're -- they're very -- n-nice.
Smiler: [slowly growing predatory smile] Oh, are they now...
Alice: [also grinning] Perhaps we could use one to find a slightly more private spot for you to stare?
Victor: [going even deeper pink] Shut up.
--
[the trio are watching two Inoculated Menacing Ruin throw fireballs at a very confused Colossal Ruin in the Dollhouse]
Alice: [to Smiler, as the Colossal Ruin tries to run away, only for one of the Menacing Ruins to slam into its side] I've changed my mind, your weapons are great.
--
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ljf613 · 2 years
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On Ships With Age Gaps
I've thought about writing a post like this for a long time, but I always decided against it because I don't feel the need to justify anything I say (or do, or enjoy, or ship, or write) to the good people of tumblr.
However, I do think that there are some people on here who, rather than being actively cruel or hateful towards certain shippers/writers, are just really confused or grossed out and don't understand why we people like these things and don't want to just assume that we're all degenerate freaks, and that maybe they might benefit from learning my story.
(Note that this is just my story. Other people may or may not have their own stories, which may or may not resemble mine-- the point is that these stories exist, and that just because you don't understand doesn't mean there isn't a reason.)
I was in middle school when I first realized that I had a (very normal) problem: I was attracted to guys, but boys my age were obnoxious. (Every heterosexual female reading this is nodding their head in sympathy.) Many of them made rude jokes, and said nasty things, and most of them were just generally immature and irresponsible and not-at-all crush-worthy.
Adult guys, on the other hand, were nice and sweet and smart and mature (*insert laughter here*). They knew how to be responsible, and how to treat girls right and take care of the people who mattered to them. They were ready to get married and settle down in a house with a white picket fence and 2.5 kids. (You get the idea. Give me a break, I was, like, eleven or twelve and most of the men in my life really were great guys in happy and stable marriages.)
So, like many other girls my age, I fantasized about attractive twenty-something-year-olds falling madly in love with me. (I can not hammer this home enough: this is perfectly normal behavior.)
But at the same time, I knew that this sort of relationship was obviously something I was not in any way ready for, and, in any case, I didn't actually know very many attractive single guys in this age range. (Because why would I?)
So, instead, like any normal kid, I gravitated toward stories I could live vicariously through. Stories about about girls my own age (or maybe a little older) who fell for guys who loved them back. Guys who were willing to wait for them. Or at the very least guys who treated them like equals, and, once they were old enough, might start seeing them in more of a romantic light.
The very first relationship like this that I remember falling for was Sesshomaru and Rin from Inuyasha.
(Actually, my first real adult/minor ship was probably Lux and Eric from Life Unexpected, but after that dumpster-fire of an ending, I didn't want to think about anything related to that show ever again.) (Although it did introduce me to One Tree Hill, which is still one of my favorite shows of all time, so I guess it did something right.) (And Nathan and Haley probably also fit the bill-- Nathan wasn't an adult, but he was mature and responsible and ready to settle down. TV really should bring back teen marriage plotlines instead of endless cycles of love triangles.)
I discovered anime in seventh grade, and Inuyasha was my second real anime. (In case you're wondering, Fairy Tail was my first.) I quickly fell in love with Rin (who was an example of what would become one of my favorite character archetypes), and her relationship with Sesshomaru fascinated me.
Here you had this demon who hated humans, only to be bewildered when one try to help him, leading him to use a part of his heritage that he'd been rejecting until now in order to save her. And then she just. Follows him. And he lets her? And he just spends the entire series treating her like an equal and letting her do literally whatever she wants?
(To those who read them as father and daughter: uh, if I saw a parent with this sort of laissez-faire approach to child-raising, I would be very concerned. He treats her like a traveling companion and constantly defers to her wishes. She gets kidnapped and he only comes to rescue her when he's sure that's what she wants? Very parental of him.)
And then when he's finally about to reach the goal he's been working towards this entire time, he gives it up the moment Rin gets hurt. ("Nothing was worth losing her?" ICONIQUE, nobody is doing it like him!) And then in the final battle, he fights alongside the same people he was trying to kill when we first met him. All because Rin has taught him that humans have worth, that weakness isn't a sin, that there are more important things than strength and hatred? Are you kidding me?
I've already gone into my love for this ship here, so I'm not going to repeat the whole thing, but I will say that I loved what we saw of them in the finale-- the two of them separated, so that Rin could grow up and decide what she wanted out of their relationship. Because he was willing to wait for whatever choice she decided to make.
This was a game changer for me. It was exactly what I hadn't realized I was looking for. I needed more. What followed was a love for various other wholesome bonds between protective/traumized men and the girls who taught them about love.
Naofumi and Raphtalia of Rising of the Shield Hero (talk about clueless guys-- he seriously managed to convince himself that he only saw her as daughter because he had no other frame of reference and had been so traumatized by the last girl he liked), Kyoko and Katsuya (dude was more than willing to wait for her and only stepped in when she needed him to be there for her? Find me another man this swoon-worthy) and Kureno and Arisa of Fruits Basket (I normally don't buy love-at-first-sight, but for these two cuties I'll suspend my disbelief), Zack and Rachel of Angels of Death (the age gap is the least problematic thing here), Mamoru and Haruka of Until Death Do Us Part (the man literally laughed the idea of their relationship off until he couldn't anymore. And then, again, he let her go and waited until she was ready), Satoru and Airi of Erased (the soulmatism!), Accelerator and Last Order of A Certain Magical Index (alright, fine, I've never been able to decide if I prefer these two to stay purely platonic or eventually fall in love, but whatever they have I adored), and many, many others.
But the thing here is that none of these relationships are the main focus of their respective series. I wasn't going out and actively looking for these ships, but when they showed up in the stories I loved I would certainly enjoy them. (Love stories were cute and all, but magic and adventure were way more interesting to middle-school me.)
It was only when I was in high school and I started getting more into romantic stories that began actively seeking out the sort of thing I was looking for. Seiji and Shiharu of Love So Life are still near and dear to my heart (my guy buys her a ring, tells her he'll never want anyone else, refuses to let her reciprocate, and doesn't go near her for almost six years to make sure that she doesn't choose him until she's really ready. KING), Mao and Hiro of House of the Sun will never stop being adorable (Taamo's drawing style is so stinkin' cute), The Start of Niina is as heartbreakingly lovely as ever (the gift and trauma of reincarnation!), and Faster Than a Kiss is a gem (another great guy who does his best to take care of the girl he loves but won't lay a hand on her until she's ready).
And it wasn't just age gap stories. Because the age gap wasn't the real point-- the point was mature guys who were ready to commit and smart girls who knew a good thing when they saw it. Which is why I also devoured stories about teens getting married (please bring these back, western media) and arranged marriages ("we may not have wanted this but we are going to make it work"). The World is Still Beautiful remains one of my favorite fantasy-romances, Absolute Peace Strategy is hilarious, I really need to reread Prince of Silk and Thorn, Dawn of the Arcana is fantastic, Taisho Maiden Fairytale is super-cute, etc. etc. (This is not an exhaustive list, btw-- feel free to DM me or drop an ask if you're looking for more in any of these genres.)
Once I discovered fandom, fanon, and shipping culture, it was a given that my love for these dynamics would cross over into media where such things weren't canon.
(And, for the nth time, all of this was perfectly normal and understandable behavior for a girl my age.)
These were stories and tropes I adored. But they were stories. Fiction. They were not reality. And even at the very earliest stages of this interest, I understood the difference.
When I was in seventh or eighth grade, there was an incident involving one of my female classmates and a twenty-something-year-old male student-teacher. I was not directly involved (I barely knew the girl) and I wasn't exactly asking for details (I've always prefered to stay out of real-world drama if I can), but middle school girls are loud and I have good ears, so I was pretty sure I got the gist. (Years later, I spoke with one of the other teachers who'd been involved with handling the aftermath, and she confirmed and added some more context.)
To simplify, the teacher in question had somehow gotten a hold of the girl's phone number and had been sending her texts that were not appropriate for a grown man to be sending to a thirteen year old girl. This made her highly uncomfortable, but she was too scared to say anything-- it wasn't as though there was anything explicit or overtly sexual (he told her how pretty she was, and how much he looked forward to seeing her every day, and I do not know or want to know what else)-- and she didn't want to look like she was make a big deal out of nothing. But when her friends found out, they immediately said "this is not okay," and marched her to the nearest female teacher to confess the whole thing. (Good for them!)
Again, I was not directly involved. I did not discuss the subject with any of my classmates, I was obviously not present when the school staff spoke with the guy, and I have no idea what exactly the school policy was for this sort of thing. All I saw from my end was a crying girl being comforted by her friends as they dragged her off, and within the next day or two we were told that this teacher would be ending his postion early (he'd been supposed to leave soon, regardless, as he was only a temp). I never saw him again.
And there was never a question in my mind that this man's behavior was deplorable, that this story should never have happened, and that this girl was a victim of a horrible injustice.
(I have a vivid recollection of being outraged when another teacher-- who happened to be related to him (probably how he'd gotten the job, I don't remember ever our school having had a student-teacher before or after)-- told us he was being forced to leave earlier than planned like we were supposed to be sad about it, and then insisted we make a good-bye card for him (while making snide comments under her breath about how some people needed to learn to keep their mouths shut). (I honestly don't remember whether or not I helped decorate the stupid thing, or what the girl did while this was happening.) I was not old enough or mature enough to fully realize that what this other teacher did was also hideously inappropriate and ought to have been reported as well, but I did know that it was nasty and underhanded and I didn't like it. (This was not the only time when this teacher behaved obnoxiously or passive-aggressively insulted a student for bringing a complaint to the school staff or doing something else she disliked (I was on the receiving end at least once or twice, but that's another story), and she did not return the next year. Good riddance.))
In any case, despite the fact that age gap stories (and even the occasional teacher-student romance) were something I liked seeing in media, I recognized the clear distinction between fiction and reality, and what was right and wrong. I didn't even need to think about it. Even at thirteen, when I didn't fully understand what was and wasn't appropriate behavior for a teacher, this was something I understood perfectly.
And to anyone reading this and saying, "alright, fine, so you liked age gap relationships as a kid because they let you vicariously live out your perfectly ordinary teenage fantasies, but you're not fifteen anymore. Isn't it time you moved on?":
People in glass houses shouldn't throw stones. Y'all still read/watch the same stories you enjoyed as children-- that's why you're in these fandoms to begin with. If you can understand still loving those things as adults, it shouldn't be much of a leap to grasp me liking the same sort of fictional relationship dynamics I did in high school.
(Which isn't to say those are the only kind of ships I like. They never were. But I'll probably always have a soft spot for them.)
TL;DR: I initially got into age gap ships because they let preteen me fantasize about a hot older guy sweeping me off my feet. No, this did not prevent me from recognizing predatory behavior from real adults. No, I'm not letting go of the things I liked as a kid just because they make you uncomfortable.
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