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sparkylurkdragon · 3 months

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This has been A Week. tl;dr car wreck at work that I was involved in as a passenger, don't worry we're all fine but have to deal with The Shitty Supervisors, more behind the cut. Take that as a content warning for vehicular accidents and ableism.

As a review, one of my jobs is on a cardboard recycling crew for a local charity that has a job-training program which employs disabled people. I'm on recycling because I have mobility and stamina issues.

On Monday, we were driving around and I was vibing with my earbuds in, dozing, when I felt a jolt and got thrown forward against my seatbelt. I woke up and went "what did we hit?!" then looked around and saw: We had been hit.

Some dude in a pickup had smashed into our trailer. We don't know what was up with him yet, but it was very clearly his fault. Our supervisor swerved so he hit the unoccupied trailer and not the fucking full van of people and probably saved our lives.

So. One police report, fire ambulance that thankfully had no injuries to treat, and the supervisor going home to take the week off later (he is as far as I know physically fine but obviously pretty fucked up mentally about the whole thing), and those of us on recycling crew were given the option to go home without pay or join the landscaping crew for the rest of the day. Given that I can't physically do the landscaping work, home I went.

So! Upon our return the next day, they did find stuff for us to do around the mill, but we had to deal with The Landscaping Supervisors. They range from Mildly Annoying (the one who worked with us directly) to Smarmy Jackass.

You know the voice. The very special "I'm not disabled so I'm a superior being" voice. The kind where you know if they thought they wouldn't get in trouble they'd say "now run along little [r-slur]." This is how Smarmy Jackass sounds. I know that it's a charity employing disabled folks and some of us do need things broken down more than others, but there's a way to do that and not talk to us like we're fucking toddlers.

What fucking blows my mind is that, again, a lot of the recycling crew have mobility problems. Landscaping crew was using their van to do recycle's work, but only took one of the recycle team?? The rest of us stayed behind and sorted wood in the mill or did janitorial work?? The latter of which is actively dangerous for me because I'm immune compromised?!

I had to put my foot down and say "look I'm not trying to avoid doing my fair share but I Kind Of Can't Do The Bathrooms and I Kind of Can't Stay Standing Long Enough To Vacuum Or Do Much Sweeping Or Mopping," and even that got a Hiding Exasperation kind of look and a "well... we'll figure something out". To her credit, Mildly Annoying did figure it out and gave me stuff I could do, but.

Why not. Why not let the landscaping crew 'rest.' And take us recycling guys. Out on our route. Why is this hard.

One of the recycling guys did ask Smarmy Jackass this, and got a whole Lecture about how aren't we lucky the Big Boss let us work at all this week, we could've just been sent home with no pay, that van is Landscaping's Van and we are doing recycle a favour by doing your work for you.

(I did bring up Smarmy Jackass' behaviour to Mildly Annoying today, but it was in the context of me getting pulled aside for yelling over the din of the landscaping crew in the mornings to tell a dude who got up in my face to point at my shirt that no I'm not wearing a Marvel shirt, and being told "well tell him you can't hear him next time". He??? Couldn't hear me??? Because I was masked??? And landscaping is loud as fuck in the mornings???

Uuuuugh why is there no polite way to tell people to leave you alooooone I'm confident I would've got talked to if I'd said that, too.)

Being around the guys vocal stimming with fart jokes and competitive posturing all day does get annoying sometimes in a conflicting access needs way, but at least I can put my headphones in about it. This was unbearable.

...So. That's my week. Still have work at the retail place tomorrow but shit, man, at least I've mostly got the ableism to my face trained out of those folks.

#original posts #meatspace sparky #grumpy dragon #work #chronically ill dragon #actuallyautistic #ableism cw #car wreck cw

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treetownconfessions · 2 months

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MOLD IS KILLER.

im being serious when i say i feel like mold is taken way too seriously and it is not as bad as people make it out to be. i never got sick from the mold i was surrounded by growing up and i think it was because i was just used to it. if people treated mold as more of an immune system thing instead of "ill get instantly sick from it and have to get rid of it immediately" then people would get less sick from it because they develop an immunity to it!! obviously this doesnt apply to people with compromised immune systems (older folks, young kids, chronically ill, etc.) but if youre healthy enough then i think SOME exposure to mold wouldnt hurt and instead benefit you. some people talk about how they used to play with dirt and bugs as a child and how that strengthened their immune system and i think this is a similar case tbh. i do understand cleaning mold if it looks weird or ugly in your home though but other than that?? what is the issue.

are you fucking insane. do you realize that theres more than one kind of mold in the world, some of which can be deadly with a very small amount of exposure. you cannot "exposure therapy" mold, because mold isnt a fucking allergen. its a living thing. it will gladly grow in your lungs and kill you!

what the hell.

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laele25 · 1 year

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Who else is tired of abled fragility?

As the Tri-demic rages and especially children are at risk, I find myself even more disgusted with the abled bodied, healthy folks who ‘fatigued’ by vaccines and illnesses. It would be SO NICE to have the luxury of just deciding ‘I don’t have to care about a disease that killed at least six million people worldwide in two years.’ because you’re tired of it. Or not wanting to vaccinate yourself or your children because some dumb twit on Facebook told you vaccines are dangerous. Those of us in the chronic illness and medically fragile community don’t have the luxury of ‘Covid fatigue’ or ‘Vaccine fatigue’. Why? Because if we catch Covid we will very likely get so sick we will be hospitalized and DIE. If not, we will end up even sicker with a worse quality of life if we manage to survive. My son has lung damage and a compromised immune system. No Karen, I don’t want to hear your ableistic BS rant about how vaccines cause autism and that’s apparently far worse than your child dying of a preventable illness. Thanks to your entitled ass, my son will never be able to leave the house again without a mask because you people can’t be trusted to do the bare fucking minimum for society. They kept saying during the pandemic that we should stay home like we were having block parties during lockdown or something. We FUCKING DID stay home. We’re still saying home because Covid is still killing hundreds of people in the US today and the flu season’s already the deadliest in years and now everybody’s babies are in danger because of RSV.

I have hypertension and chronic bronchitis, possibly even COPD. Like my son, I will never be able to leave my home again without wearing a mask and washing my hands until they crack and bleed because the ableds are so fucking fragile they can’t be bothered to take the most basic steps when they have a cold to not become a plague bearer and inadvertently killed dozens of people because of their entitlement. To the abled bodied, healthy folks who wear masks and stay home as much as they can when they’re sick, thank you. Your small sacrifice means more to the disability community than you can know. After three years of being told those of us who are sick are expendable because the economy is more important than our lives it is nice to know there are still decent human beings in the word. To the rest of you who whine about diabled parking spots, wearing masks and spread disinformation about vaccines because you think you’re special, grow the fuck up and get over yourselves. The rest of us are trying to have a society here and you’re the reason we can’t have nice things in this country. And also the reason we have a tri-demic going on.

#rant #pandemic #tridemic #ableism #disability rights #chronic illness

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acronymking4tdp · 1 year

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The retconning is just wild. Somedays Rayla is "obsessed with revenge" and other days she's just following some code of sacrifice and honor that leads her to leave Callum. They really have no idea what to do with Rayla, do they?

I'm hardly a TDP scholar, but to me this looks like a concession to corporate interests. The streaming "ecosystem" has changed quite a lot over a very short time. Netflix is not immune to this, and they are committed to seven seasons now, which gives Corporate and Wall Street enhanced leverage. I can imagine backroom conversations about the importance of the show making money, which translates to playing to a broad audience (as seen in more fart humor, for example**) and simpler, safer ideas. Revenge is a lot easier to sell than complex attitudes driven by home culture and childhood trauma... and what do you even do about the the wider audience that has no clue about TTM? The show can't afford to leave those folks behind and while I think there were ways that they could have very effectively used "The Letter" to educate the masses, it feels to me like they tried to simplify with a retcon. Of course, there is NO WAY that the writers ever could confess to this without majorly pissing off Corporate, nor should they want to ... Admitting that you had to compromise on your art for the sake of the almighty $$? What writer wants to do that? (Unless there is an ugly, post-production "the-team-now-hate-each other tell-all" which I really hope doesn't happen.) There are aspects of S4 that I appreciate more each time I see it (as I re-watch with various family members who haven't seen it even once) but overall I feel like it lacked the crispness of the first three seasons. I explain this by external influences affecting the broader industry. I have been told that "revenge" is now canon, but I don't accept that (well, at least not readily.) I have read other authors (one a Pulitzer winner) who changed major physical details in their stories from one work to the next across a series - did the character's place of birth or hometown change because of a retcon? How would that even work? Or was the original story canon, and the later changes attempts at "sleight of hand" for convenience? Rayla's motivation isn't physical, so it's easier to play with, but that doesn't make the retcon "the truth" in the context of Rayla's story. At least, that's my take. Thanks for asking

**these things work! I've heard from a number of adults that they and/or their kids enjoyed that stuff.

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cloversquash1 · 2 years

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oomles · 3 years

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Hi hello

(big ‘ol life update below)

I apologize for the following wall of text, but a lot has been going on behind the scenes and you guys deserve an update. I don’t like to bring up personal hardships often, but I need to share some to explain the radio silence.

December and January hit me hard. REALLY hard. Back in November, I filed for unemployment. I was upfront and honest with it; I told them that I’m able to make money from home, but after rent and other bills I’m left with close to nothing. And considering my history with asthma and immune deficiencies combined with the pandemic, I didn’t exactly want to reenter the workforce for a part time job (especially since all my previous work experience had involved close human contact). With that, I got approved! I was thrilled! I was going to be able to relieve some of my stresses, focus on making my Kickstarter a success, and be able to order acrylic charms to bring in some more income.

Except the exact opposite happened.

As of the time that this update was written (early February), I haven’t seen a cent of that unemployment money. It’s been stuck as “n/a” or “processing” for THREE MONTHS now. I’ve tried contacting folks online about it to no avail, so I’m searching for more ways to find out why I haven’t seen any bit of what I was promised. I still have no idea if I’m even going to get the money after all. And as far as the acrylic charms go… it ended up being a lost investment. I sold some with preorders, yes, but after the fact I only sold one charm. Just one. I know that they’ll do better in person or closer to the holidays, but that would have to wait.

That brings us to the Kickstarter campaign. Don’t get me wrong - I couldn’t be happier with how it went! But we hit a major bump in the road. I spoke with my main manufacturer about the designs, and even though there are only 5 molds, the minimum of each quantity needed by them was 20. For some perspective, that nearly DOUBLED what I was expecting to get, and some of the design combos only got 2 or 3 orders period. Again, if conventions and the holidays were an option, this excess would be fine. But the pandemic, once again, made this a serious roadblock. In the meantime, I’m searching for manus who can do smaller quantities without compromising on the quality I promised everyone.

So that brings us to where we are now. I got a part time job at Petco to help with the bills. And even though it’s retail filled with daily anti-maskers not giving a damn about my personal health... it's going fairly well. I’m hoping that it will be able to ease some of my financial worries and assist in being able to get all those extra pins. I’m also praying that another stimulus is on its way because if so, it would go entirely into manufacturing costs. I’m also hoping that a tax refund would help, but I’m not entirely sure what to expect since I’d be filling for self employment for the first time. Let’s just say I’ve heard that taxes aren’t too kind to self-employed artists…

In the end, I’m truly TRULY sorry for the radio silence, delays, lack of artwork... all that jazz. I ended up getting completely paralyzed by my mental illnesses, getting stuck in a loop of being too afraid to reach out to anyone. I hit one of my lowest lows in years, and I’m fighting tooth and nail to pull myself out. I have a meeting with a professional in a few days, so help is already on the way in the form of therapy and medicine.

I thank you for your patience while I attempt to seek solutions. Here’s to hoping there’s some good news on the horizon. I genuinely thank you for your support despite my shortcomings, and hope to share a positive update soon.

#vent #vent art #depression #mental illness #idk what to tag this is it's pretty personal oops #ok to reblog for the comic #my art #comic #comics

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rurifangirl · 3 years

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oc asks💅💅

kayn🌸

If you had to choose a single object to act as a symbol for your oc, what would it be? Why?

kida🌸

How much has your oc traveled? Why is this? Would they like to travel more? Or are they perfectly fine with staying home?

rui🌸

How competitive is your oc? Is every little task something that they can win, or are they just in competitions for the fun of it? Is there anyone they’re most competitive with?

lyva🌸

What is your oc’s immune system like? Are they invincible to illness, or are they compromised completely from the slightest of dirt?

shou🌸

Does your oc do anything “just for the aesthetic”? Or are they completely practical in everything?

qiran🌸

How would you describe your oc’s voice? Do they have an accent? Do you have any voice claims for them?

naexi🌸

What topics does your oc know the most about? Are these obvious or would these be surprising to others?

evelyn🌸

How easy to annoy is your oc? Do they have common pet-peeves or are they stoic in response to everything? What is their reaction if the source doesn’t stop?

myst🌸

How would you describe your oc’s voice? Do they have an accent? Do you have any voice claims for them?

kerei🌸

What topics does your oc know the most about? Are these obvious or would these be surprising to others?

eris🌸

What is your oc’s vocabulary like? Does it match the way they talk? How would you describe their speech?

syndra🌸

What time of day is your oc most awake? What about most tired? Do they get up at the same time every morning without need of an alarm, or is their sleep schedule all over the place?

Ty for asking em my fave Scp 🤍/j

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Kayn💜-

Many things would work for his symbol tbh, Id say either a dog or a schyte?

There's many things he had great connections w, and for someone like him that cares bout litteraly anything and everything that is around him, It would be hard to settle down onto a specifical one.

Writing this, I feel like he'd choose a schyte, cus even though that's probably the least pratical thing he's good in, it's still a part of his character that Is sorta overlooked and probably gotta work on so-

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Kida💮-

She went into far more missions than Kayn ever did, and she did visit many places, other than sometimes resting in South Italy that Is.

She's mainly been used for abroad missions too, until the whole Japan thing started and she had to return back, and even if she stayed lil time there, she has a pin collection of every place, and occasionally shows it to close friends, and did It w Kayn after they got time to get along.

She also got the first pin, which her husband bought for her since she spent almost everything, and that does bring her some nostalgia bout It, in the good and in the bad.

Sometimes when she gets drunk, she'll start ramble bout every single embarassing moment she had there like it's nothin. And even when she'll wake up, Kida wouldn't do anythin to deny It.

Just, proudly stating that she did It.

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Rui💎-

They're mostly chill, kinda in everything, until it gets onto their interests.

They don't really care about being the best in a random task, like if that would change the world of something, but if that meant the safety/getting more gems, then oh boy, ya got the perfect contestant for ya.

But if they could be competitive w anyone, It would be with Naexi.

They just can't even pin point way, it just, is.

And also if you'd tell them that they had to kill someone for gettin a diamond, they'll do It. That's how far and competitive they'd get for It. So in that case, absolutely.

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Lyva📙-

She suffers normally of a morning sickness, and has to take some medication to treat some sounds she had even before getting into the gang, but other than that, she's pretty healthy.

I mean, both compared to the rest of the cast and ignoring some eating problems she had to get through of, but currently, she's doing just fine.

But she does have an allergy for some flowers, so during spring she has kinda an hard time alone.

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Shou🍵-

Like, yeah he does have many traditional outfits, but that's mainly because he's more tied up to his family traditions that, even if they hurt him in the past, he can't let go of.

But, those do look good and he likes wearing these kinds of outfits, so it's fifty fifty.

Though it's safe to say that, the outfit he wears normally isn't really practical, considering in which events he gets into, but for him It doesn't really matter.

Basically just the "be depressed but well dressed".

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Qiran🗡️-

They do have an accent, and probably the most prominent one out of the cast.

Considering they've also been travelling through many different places, learning their coltures and sometimes having to learn their language, Qiran doesn't have a specifical accent, just, a mixture of almost anythin.

Though, if ya could hear them, you'd also get they're Southern, in a way or another.

They also tend to shorten words whenever they can, just to go straight up to the answer.

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Naexi⚛️-

Absolutely almost any folk tail in human's history. They just have been so interested in that for even hundreds of years, she's just deeply sucked into them.

One thing they also really like to do Is revisiting them to their gang, and even clearing up some details in the meanwhile. Or even giving more fun facts, or how she personally interpretetated it.

She doesn't do It often to people, even to those they're close to, and mainly ramble about It to their dolls.

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Evelyn⚙️-

He's mainly the one to bully rather than the bullied, but it's safe to say that if ya could really annoy them, It would be poking their making, or weapons per say.

In the sense that, she's really proud of them, and having those being unrighfully judged onto their eyes is really, REALLY frustrating to see.

Plus, since they're thecnically the least powerful member of the gang, it's normal that they Hide that feeling pretty well, under some teasings to subdoly vent bout It.

So even teasing him about that makes them really annoyed, since you'd 'invade" the space they created for herself.

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Myst🎸-

Honestly, I can't blame myself enough for this, but, just Imagine Rainbow Dash's voice on him.

Yes I'm serious.

Just that energy that voice has onto her, the cracks and just, everything. Naturally It would be toned down by a LOT, considering she hasnt got a voice as childish.

Im not good w describing voices and should work on that tbh, but i hope this voice claim counts 😭😭

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Kerei🔮-

Magic/Spell related topic, since that's what he's most interested. He's got many interests, that can go to many different topics, but he doesn't have as much interest as that.

He knows especially many counter attacks and even some potions to defend himself during a real fight.

In his time w Myst, she helped him learning even more facts and through that, setting free Eris, so that would be It.

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Eris🌑-

It's a normal vocabulary? Like, a polite One for sure, since it's not used to the human world and didn't get enough habits to speak like a normal person would.

They just have that solemn touch to it, y'know?

It does match with how they speak though, even if sometimes they have an hard time understanding Myst's words, since he also likes to throw popular wordings n a little of dialect here and there.

Moon's trying its best.😭

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Syndra⛩️-

She's most awake during the evening, or night that Is, since it doesn't have that much of a good concept of time and will go with anything that goes for her.

Though surprisingly, she's hardly tired, because she doesn't want to seem that weak even to itself, so even if she's gonna be a lil dizzy, she's almost always gonna be there.

Especially to kick some asses >:D

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@a-chaotic-dumbass @spoopy-fish-writes @dopesaladlady @nadi-117 @damnfoxx @audre-falrose

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thesickpanda · 4 years

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Honey, there's isolation and then there's isolation.

I've seen many chronically ill, neurodivergent, poor and disabled people discussing their bemusement at the cries of lament from the well-off able-bodied people who now have to self-isolate, cancel their plans, postpone holidays and miss out on fun events. It's quite something to behold. It’s fascinating (in a horrible way) to witness these people who are used to getting what they want now finding that they can't have it; that that instant gratification has been removed for them. Now they're staring down the prospect of being lonely for a few months, unable to see friends, sometimes even family, unable to go out to the movies or the festivals. And we're sitting here like, yo - welcome to our world.

It's hard to put into words how frustrating it is to see governments putting in measures for tele-health services, working from home practices and teaching through Skype to students et cetera. For decades, disabled/sick/neurodivergent folks were told that these accommodations couldn’t be made for us, but now suddenly they can. Now suddenly there's money for it. Funny that.

When we've talked about how lonely and isolated we feel as people with disabilities, we've been dismissed, victim-blamed or infantilized. But now the ableds are feeling it, a flood of “community compassion” initiatives and “mental health advice for dealing with isolation” is being made freely available to them.

And yet previously, we used to hear things like: “You're so lucky you get to stay at home: I wish I could just be on Netflix all day!” Or, “You don't have to deal with people. That sounds like utopia to me!”

Not so much fun in reality, is it?

The latest banger I heard was from my sibling. I told her that after a long winter, months of bushfires, unprecedented floods and now this virus, I had essentially been self-isolating for six months and another six months was going to make me lose my mind. Her response was, “well, at least you've had practice. This is all so new for the rest of us!”

Yes, I have had practice. I have developed strategies for dealing with crippling loneliness. I have had to find ways to entertain myself whilst experiencing horrific symptoms of pain, nausea, digestive issues and more. I've had to learn not to take it too personally when friends cancel on seeing me or sensing their disappointment/bemusement when I cancel on seeing them. Yes, I have had lots of practice. It doesn't make it any less awful though.

Australia has had a particularly bad run. The bushfires broke out in spring and for almost all of November and December we literally could not go outside because the air was toxic. The smoke blocked out the sun, rained apocalyptic ash and embers on us which sparked more fires. I have a compromised immune system and so I really felt the effects of the smoke. Red eyes, runny nose, sore throat - the works. That crushing, extended period of terror took a huge toll on me mentally, as well. Then, just as the smoke started to clear a little, the heat waves came. I'm talking about 48°C (113°F) days. You cannot go out in that. More people die from heat waves than most other natural disasters combined, and people were dying in Australia. People died from the smoke and the heat and that doesn't even include deaths from the fires themselves. Then the fires were put out not just by some heavy rain but by actual torrential flooding. So for a few weeks in February we were cooped up indoors unable to go out because the train lines had literally washed away and it was too dangerous to drive.

And then the coronavirus hit Australia.

Now everyone is being told to lock themselves in their homes. For many of us, particularly the chronically ill and most vulnerable, we've already had months and months of that. And bear in mind: I had to pretty much self-isolate all winter. Because such cretins like anti-vaxxers exist, it's really difficult for those with compromised immune systems to go out in winter and not get sick with the flu, which can be crippling or even deadly for us. Secondly, winter is extremely hard on my body. My pain gets infinitely worse in the cold weather. Last year I spent most of winter inside. I barely saw the sun. The only way I can get through those 3 to 5 months of cold is keeping in mind the prospect of spring and summer, when I can go out more often. But I couldn't go out in the spring and summer of 2019. My long stretch of being stuck indoors went on and on and on, and now I'm being told it could be another six months before I can go out again - just in time for the start of the next bushfire season.

After all the hardships we endured last year and after finally giving up running my not-for-profit due to worsening health, we really needed something to look forward to in 2020. I had no less than 14 medical appointments in the first eight weeks of this year. We spent thousands of dollars on seeing specialists and therapists to try to fix my broken body. The only time I would be out of the house was to see another medical professional. And then I broke up with my friend of 14 years (and his family), which led to me feeling more alone and more depressed. And then my elderly friend died at the end of February. Everything looked bleak.

Strapped for cash, my partner tried to think of affordable ways we could still have fun this year. We finally had our own home, so maybe we could invite people over. Our social lives really suffered while running the non-profit, especially with all the drama of last year, so this year we pledged would be different.

We spent half a day in February in front of our wall planner and planned boardgame nights, our birthday parties, dinners with friends and excursions at local festivals and markets. I felt my spirits pick up a little and hope stir in my heart.

All that has been cancelled now.

For someone who is chronically ill and alone most of the time, we live for these outings. We live for the moments of socialization and human bonding that we are otherwise deprived of so much of the time. These things are the light at the end of the tunnel of pain and nausea and sickness. So to have that taken away from us? There are no words to describe how eviscerating that emotional pain is.

To add insult to injury, we’re currently watching able-bodied people behaving even more despicably than usual. They descend like locusts on stores and rob the vulnerable, including our poorest regional communities (STILL RECOVERING FROM BUSHFIRES), of their food and resources. We’re witnessing them stepping over the disabled, sick and impoverished to panic buy all basic necessities. We hear them complaining about how hard it's going to be to give up seeing the football and to stay home with the kids these next few months. It's fucking galling. Now they are starting to taste what we have to experience, and yet there is still no consideration for what we’re going through.

Instead, we hear shit like: "The self-isolation thing is so annoying. I mean, it's only the sick and elderly who will die from it so I don't see why I can't go out to a concert!"

Only the sick and the elderly: this implies our lives have no inherent value. But I guess, under a capitalist system, that's how people see things.

I am just so goddamn tired. I’m tired of trying to be positive all the time when things are just terrible right now. I’m tired of being dismissed, ignored, or made to feel like a whiny burden. I’m tired of the hypocrisy. I am tired of the fear and selfishness and ugliness all around me. I’m tired of being sick and I’m tired of being punished for it.

This coronavirus has highlighted so many deep flaws with our culture and our economic system. It’s shown up humans for the self-centered, individualistic bigots we are. It’s illuminated how pathetic our treatment is of the world’s most vulnerable. It’s really underscored how incompetent our leaders are. Not that this will motivate anyone to change anything. Keep selfish, carry on.

And so it goes. Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow…

#spoonie rants #chronic illness #chronic pain #the ableds are at it again #abledsareweird #fuck ableism #coronavirus #covid19 #Fibromyalgia #seriously Australia #get a grip #disability and isolation

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watching-pictures-move · 3 years

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Movie Review | The Decline of Western Civilization series (Spheeris, 1981-98)

Many years ago, before I sold out to the man, I have to admit I felt a certain attraction to punk music. No, I was never anywhere close to a full on punk (I was, and still am, extremely lame), but I have to admit the anti-establishment streak definitely resonated with me at a certain point of time. (Not that it still doesn’t, but in addition to selling out, I’ve softened with old age.) Like many people I’ve found appealing the political conscience and mix of influences of the Clash, or the boneheaded energy of the Ramones, but I also found my interest straying to hardcore punk. I remember the first time I listened to “Damaged II” by Black Flag and finding it unbelievably abrasive and foreign to my ears, yet it was something I couldn’t get out of my head, and returned to the song and the album it was from a few years later and appreciated it as one of the most forceful expressions of angst ever recorded. I remember first learning of bands like X and Fear, and seeing performance footage on YouTube and being thrilled by the rawness and danger, especially when they had to fight off their fans. This footage was from Penelope Spheeris’ cult classic documentary, The Decline of Western Civlization, which for years was not easily available but I have now finally seen in its entirety.

The movie is structured simply, moving from one band in the L.A. punk scene to another, interviewing them in their natural habitats and punctuating this with footage of their performances. Songs are presented in full so we can get the complete experience. The first band we see is Black Flag, then with frontman Ron Reyes. They are lively on stage but it’s interesting to note how different the energy was prior to the arrival of Henry Rollins, who brought a certain discipline and muscularity to their music. (One of the songs featured here, “Depression”, pops up again in Damaged, and the impact in the latter is noticeably more forceful.) The guys here come across as aimless and destitute, living in a decrepit church where they’ve turned the closets into makeshift bedrooms, seemingly losing money with every gig. But they are also quite affable (you can tell the lyrics of “TV Party” sprang from these minds) and do not have illusions about their situation, especially their difficulty in getting gags thanks to their rowdy fans. These scenes play like a moment frozen in time, right before the band’s most significant period would begin. We move next to the Germs, and these scenes play like a car accident in slow motion, with Darby Crash’s self-destructive tendencies on full display. This was a short time before his death, which occurred between completion of filming and the theatrical release (his image was featured heavily on the promotional materials), once again giving this a lost in time quality.

Next we go to the headquarters of Slash Magazine, the staff of which moonlights as a band called Catholic Discipline. The frontman complains about New Wave, claiming it doesn’t actually exist, yet they come across as downmarket New Wavers who are slumming it in the punk scene. Yet their love of music and their work is obvious and the frontman does possess a certain charisma. Much of what we see of the punk lifestyle is squalid and dismal, yet the music of X manages to poeticize this condition. Their unassuming demeanours during their interview contrast sharply with their vigour in their performances, during which they do their share of batting off overeager fans. We get a burst of political conviction when the Circle Jerks launch into the libertarian anthem “Red Tape”, but this dissipates by the time they start playing “I Just Want a Skank”. We spend some time with the Alice Bag Band and then are treated to a montage of interviews with punk fans. These are shot in monochrome with stark backgrounds and a single bulb providing the lighting, which has the effect of bringing them and their words into sharp relief. We hear similar stories again and again, of aimlessness and aggression, the subjects using the music both as an outlet for their frustrations and inspiration for violence.

Spheeris’ camera has been largely nonjudgmental, yet there’s an undeniable sadness in this sequence. But lest I make it sound that the movie makes punk seem uniformly depressing, the closing sequence provides a potent antidote. The electrifying final minutes of the film feature a performance by Fear (who are not interviewed). The atmosphere here is hostile, with the band riling up the audience with homophobic and misogynistic taunting and having to physically fight them off throughout their set list. It might be tempting to liken their shtick to cheap alt-rightish provocation, but I think that robs their music of the proper context. When almost all their peers and fans adopt an attitude of “everything sucks”, Fear’s ability to find the humour in that mentality is kind of refreshing. It also would ignore the sheer muscularity of the delivery, which almost turns the music into a form of violence. The film is undeniably a fascinating document, but while Spheeris may have had the good fortune of turning on her camera in the right place and right time (even if she had to pay to rent soundstages to film some of the performances), it’s moments like this of pure exhilaration that cement the film’s greatness.

Part II: The Metal Years takes place almost a decade later, with a drastically new context and perspective. This time the focus is on the L.A. metal scene, which was a dominant cultural force unlike hardcore punk ever was. And this time around Spheeris’ POV is less of impartial observation and more satirical condescension. Taken journalistically, the movie is obviously compromised, particularly in an interview of Ozzy Osbourne that’s misleadingly edited to make it look like he has the shakes. I wish the movie hadn’t done this, as Ozzy is a flamboyant enough presence that he’s already funny without needing to frame him into gags, something Spheeris acknowledged in an interview years after the fact. Ozzy and a few other veterans of the scene are not immune to metal culture’s innate ridiculousness (the movie’s biggest laugh for me was Spheeris’ deadpan reaction to Steven Tyler’s extended masturbation metaphor to describe the rock’n’roll lifestyle). It’s worth noting that Spheeris asked her subjects how they wanted to be filmed, leading to such choice setups as Gene Simmons in a lingerie store and Paul Stanley in a bed full of scantily clad models. (Lemmy allegedly took offense to how he was portrayed, claiming Spheeris shot him from afar to make him look stupid, but I don’t think he comes across badly. He’s low key and unassuming in a way that contrasts him from the other participants, at the very least in terms of appearance).

The structure of this entry is tighter, using snippets of different interviews to flesh out different ideas, exploring the decadence and excess of the music and the surrounding culture. We even hear from the anti-metal folks, particularly in one amusing scene where a woman describes the dangerous potential of metal fashion with the solemnity of a cop or anti-gun advocate describing illegal firearms. Performance footage is limited to brief excerpts, usually for comic relief (assless chaps and a limp attempt to set fire to a Soviet flag are highlights), although we do get an extended look at a sleazy stripping context. (The club owners featured seem as much into the metal lifestyle as some of the musicians and fans, in sharp contrast to the genial working class types featured in the first and third entries.) The most notorious segment of the film is the interview with Chris Holmes from W.A.S.P., who lounges in a pool in alcoholic self loathing, which probably went farther in deflating the excitement around the metal scene than any single moment. Yet like the first film, this one refuses to lock into too narrow view of its subject and rebounds with a Megadeth performance that goes a long way in showing that yes, this music can in fact be good. (I should say that I enjoy my share of hair metal, which Megadeth is decidedly not, but the songs earlier in the film don’t do the best job of selling the genre. Although anything would look lame with assless chaps.) This movie is more obviously flawed than the original, but I can’t help but kind of love it. The fact is that the metal musicians and fans, despite being somewhat boneheaded, are also full of good vibes and fun to hang around (more so than the self-serious punk fans in the original), and the movie is quite slick and stylish by documentary standards, which makes the film true to its subject matter in a a way. I mean, you open the movie with Motorhead and I’m half won over already, and I haven’t stopped thinking (and smiling) about it since I’ve seen it.

The good vibes don’t carry over to Part III, which follows a group of homeless gutter punks in L.A. around another decade later. Once again there’s a change in context and perspective, with Spheeris coming across as more compassionate and maternal. The musicians here offer a more sobering, grounded presence. The veterans here, Keith Morris and Rick Wilder, come across as survivors more than anything, particularly the latter with his skeletal, emaciated appearance. The music this time around is almost beside the point, although we do get the sense that it offers the main subjects one of their only sources of relief. Their stories are similar. Broken homes. Forced onto the streets. Substance abuse. The movie feels like extended versions of the Darby Crash scenes and the interviews from the original, but with the grim consequences covered in the final moments, and the film’s sense of despair is alleviated only by the compassion Spheeris brings to the material. I can’t see myself returning to this as readily as it’s more downbeat and less dynamic than the previous movies, but it is undeniably moving, and had a profound effect on Spheeris as well, who decided to become a foster parent after her experience making this movie.

#film #movie review #the decline of western civilization #the decline of western civilization part ii: the metal years #the decline of western civilization part iii #penelope spheeris

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godstaff · 4 years

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Kent family watches the Incredibles movies

Clark: Well, guys: due to the pandemic, the JL has restricted the amount of operatives in the field, so Mommy and I will spend the day with our family. Do you know any of them? Where are they?

Aster: We’re here, Dad! We are your family!

Selene: He’s joking, you Goblin!

Aster: Shut up, “Big Larda”!

Diana: That’s enough! Both of you!

Clark: Mom is right: stop it now, or there won’t be ice-cream for anybody! I mean it. No more name calling, okay?

Selene: But, Daddy: aren’t we immune to this Covid stuff?

Diana: We are, Lena, but Dad and I have a duty to set an example to others. We are privileged, but we need to see the bigger picture.

Clark: Besides, we must not parade our immunity in front of much vulnerable people. It would seem like laughing in their faces. Even if we’re impervious, we can carry the virus with us and transmit it to the folks we come in contact with.

Diana: We can’t deliver the wrong message.

Selene: Okay. Why don’t we end the problem once and for all?

Diana: May be we can, but we have to give humanity the chance to try and solve their problems themselves. As Daddy says: “we can’t carry them straight to the top, we can only...”

Selene and Aster: “...help them up when they trip and fall.”

Clark: Exactly. And accompany them in their journey. In this cases, we intervene when things get way out of hand, or they will start to depend on us for anything and stop thinking for themselves.

Aster: Is it bad not thinking for ourselves?

Diana: Thinking for yourself is the best way to really learn. Let you to think for yourself is the best gift anybody can give you. Daddy and I can teach you a lot of things, but it is up to you and your analysis of those things to create your own personality and knowledge. Imagine your head is a library and Dad and me are filling it with books, all kinds of books: if you can’t think for yourself, there won’t be any organization. You are the librarian who organizes everything in your personal order, to connect those books with others of the same content. So far, you need guidance. The day will come when you get good at it, and won’t need any help. When people learn to think for themselves, it will come a time, perhaps, when they won’t need our help.

Clark: It doesn’t matter if you don’t completely understand all this right now: just remember what you can. In time you’ll find out the meaning.

Aster: I’ll try, Daddy. Lena: did you find out yet?

Selene: What I’ve found out so far is it takes a lifetime to do it. The important thing is keep on trying. It’s like having a baby brother: it sucks, but you get used to it. You may even enjoy it sometimes.

Clark: Enough with the learning moment. What you say we have a marathon of movies and junk food?

Diana shot a disapproving look in Clark’s direction.

Clark (with an apologetic tone): Just for today...?

Diana: Just for today.

Clark, Selene and Aster: Yaaay!

Clark: What do you want to watch?

A battle of propositions and rejections followed, from “that is too childish” to “ugh! That’s a girl’s movie!”. Until Clark said:

Clark: What if we start with “The Incredibles”? I’ve heard it’s funny and not entirely for kids. Besides, they could be us.

Selene: I’ve seen the first, I was your age back then, but not the sequel. It’s truly funny, and realistically shows the pain of having two baby brothers, emphasis on “baby”. Count me in.

Aster: I’ve seen both, but I don’t mind watching them again.

Diana: All set, then: “The Incredibles” 1 and 2 it is.

Clark: I’ll make the popcorn. Lena: a hand, please?

Selene: Sure, Dad.

Aster: Bring me a soda!

Selene: Of course, “my Liege”. Move it and get it yourself!

Aster: Mom!

Clark: C’mon, Len, we’re already here. Let get sodas for everyone.

Selene: Ugh! I swear I’m gonna kill him one of these days!

The movie started and Clark asked:

Clark: Do I look like that?

Diana: Don’t be so self aware: it’s a cartoon. Besides, you’re not blond, thank Hera!

Clark: I’ll double my workout routine, beginning tomorrow.

Selene and Aster: Shhhh!

Diana (whispering in Clark’s ear): Please tell me I don’t have that enormous ass.

Clark (also whispering): Of course not!

Selene and Aster: Shhhhhhhhhh! We still can hear you!

Diana and Clark: Sorry!

Selene (pressing pause): Doesn’t the villain remain you of Luthor? Minus the hair, that is.

Clark: Believe it or not, Lex had red hair too before losing it.

Aster: Dad: what do you think of capes?

Clark: I’m in favor, of course. It’s not that terrible, once you learn to deal with them. And they look majestic while flying. But you will have to decide for yourselves. Granddad Jor wore capes, and so did the fathers of aunts Karen and Kari, my uncles Zor from both Kryptons. It’s tradition.

Diana: And Grandmamá Lyta wears one for ceremonial purposes

Aster: And masks? What do you think of masks? They look cool.

Diana: Your Dad didn’t wear them because he wanted people to trust him. It would be a pity to cover that handsome face (smiling at Clark)

Clark (smiling back at her): When Mommy and I got together, the double personality made no sense anymore. We were not hiding our love to the World, and, if we did, Superman and Wonder Woman and Diana Prince and Clark Kent were two very similarly looking couples: tall, black hair, athletic build, etc.

Diana: People are not stupid: they would’ve connected the dots in no time, so we came clean. And it was a good thing to do: now we have time for our family, instead of wasting it in a job or trying to make another life as a civilian.

Clark: In fact, it’s very liberating not to hide half of the time, although I miss the office sometimes.

Diana: Look at uncles Bruce and Richard and the Robins: all, except Jason, have to work twice as much, and none of them have a real job.

Clark: Besides, just look at your sister: blue hair, 6′7″, a complete and total Kryptonian Amazon...and, before you say a word, you’ll be no different: as tall as her, if not taller, and the same build. You only lack the blue hair.

Aster: Why does she have...?

Selene: Are we done? Can we continue with the movie?

Aster: It was you who pressed “pause”.

Selene: Well: I’m done. Are you?

Aster: Yeah.

At the end of the first movie, everyone stood up and went to do their things.

Clark: Okay, people, the intermission is 15 minutes. Stretch your legs, if you have to.

Aster: It was very cool.

Selene: See? It’s not important how much we squabble, if we’re united when it matters.

Aster (coming back from the bathroom): Mom: Why does Lena have blue hair?

Diana: Dad and I are the first couple of our kind, therefore, you both are the first of your species. It was predictable you would have some genetic peculiarities. There was some magic involved in your conception, don’t forget Daddy is from another world. Don’t get me wrong: we made sure you two will not come out as strange beings, with two heads and all that.

Aster: It would have been cool to have two heads!

Diana: Mmmmno. We’d had love you all the same, though. Anyway, Lena was the first, and her hair is proof of that. You two are special, only in her case, she showed it immediately. Don’t sweat: you can still grow a second head.

Aster (enthusiastically): Really?

Diana (throwing herself over her son): Naaah!

Selene: Don’t talk about me behind my back! It’s not polite. I can hear you, you know?. Superhearing, remember?

Diana: I’ll have to teach you both sign language, so we can keep some secrets in our family.

Selene: You know sign language?

Diana: And Braille writing and reading. So does Dad. There’s also a language based on small taps on the other people’s hand, for those unfortunate who lost both, sight and hearing, called Tactile Signing. If we want to help, we must be able to communicate with everyone, back and fore.

Selene: I want to learn! I’m starting tomorrow!

Diana: How about you, Ast? Your sis is giving you the chance of starting early.

Aster: I would hate she talking to you and me not understanding it. I’m in.

Clark: Two minutes and the show will continue!

Once everybody was sitting, the second part began. Half way to the projection, it was Aster who pressed pause.

Aster: Mom, Dad: do you need to have a job?

Clark: We don’t really need it. Mommy and I can get anything we need, and so will you someday. We could have one, if we want it, but our work protecting humanity and raising you takes precedence.

Diana: Dad and I can find all kinds of minerals men consider precious and extract it with our bare hands.

Selene: If they want it, they can be richer that Luthor, Mr. Terrific and uncle Bruce combined.

Clark: But the pursue of riches is not a priority. Some time back, Mommy and I designed the basics for nuclear fusion based energy supply, which is sustaining our home, the rest of the Fortress and some parts of Themyscira. We gave the blueprints to Mr. Holt and uncle Bruce, so they could adapt it for human usage. Mr. Holt wanted to make it into a business, but uncle Bruce and I prevented it. It wasn’t an evil thing what Michael wanted to do, from a mundane perspective, but if the whole planet was going to benefit of the findings, we better let corporations and businesses out of the picture, We convinced him with only two words: “Fair Play”.

Diana: Lex hated us: he lost a ton of money and four of his energy corporations rolled the curtains down definitely. We made sure the employees left without a job, were absorbed by Wayne Enterprises and Holt Industries.

The movie continued. At some point, Selene interrupted it.

Selene. Mom, Dad: is it so easy to take over somebody’s mind, like in the movie?

Diana: Depends on whose mind. If the person is in need of something or lacking other things, like Elastigirl here, it’s easier to invade someone’s mind, the invaders has to take advantage of the weaknesses of that person. If Dad or any of you are in some peril, my state of mind will be compromised and I would constitute an easy target.

Selene: How can we prevent that kind of happenstances? Specially in our particular situation.

Clark: Being very careful, knowing all the time the others are safe. That’s why is so important to be always in communication with each other.

Diana: It’s not invasion of privacy, it’s just caution. We won’t stop you from living your life, we won’t use tracers or any kind of location devices: we are asking you to keep us informed. You’ll understand when you have children of your own.

Clark: There are individuals with immense power no mind can resist, like Maxwell Lord...

Selene: Who is that?

Diana: No longer a problem.

Clark: ...in those cases, we have to be patient and look for an opening. There’s always a mistake these people make: too confident and underestimating their opponent. There’s always, in the back of your mind, a vestige of consciousness. And Mommy’s Lasso of Truth will protect its bearer and it can reverse the process in others.

Selene: I see. But there’s always a risk.

Diana: Our occupation is always a risk. We must be prepared. Even if you don’t want to follow our steps, problems will reach you because of who you are, I’m sorry. It’s like being the offspring of someone very rich: there’s always a virtual target on your backs.

Clark: But life is beautiful and worth living, don’t let potential dangers take that away. People in other situations than ours are also in other kind of perils. Is a constant no living being can escape.

Diana: Animals in the wild are always at the mercy of predators.

Clark: Ours are just another kind of predators.

Selene: I think I get the idea, but I have to ruminate on it.

Clark: Sure, baby. Take your time.

Diana: We are here for any question.

Selene: Thank you. Let’s finish the movie, please. Hey, Astroboy! Wake up!

Aster: Uh? Are we done?

Selene: Welcome to the land of the living.

Aster: Can we finish the movie now?

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