#THE “BITCH” BE LIVING RENT FREE ON MY MIND SINCE YESTERDAY | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

havethetimeofyourstyles · 3 years

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Chapter Three.

a/n: get ready for the yearning in this chapter! also please make sure to reblog to share and leave feedback — it really helps writers continue wanting to post and continue writing.

SERIES MASTERLIST | word count: 8.2k

come talk to me about wtsgd! i’d love to know your thoughts!

April 30, 2017

Luci woke up to loud knocking on her front door, too loud for eight in the morning when she wanted to sleep in. She thought she was dreaming, like someone was knocking directly onto her head, telling her to wake up. But the knocking increased, making her scream into her pillow, getting out of bed. Her pink soft house slippers that Ren made sure she brought so she wouldn’t get her new floors dirty with her outside shoes padded on the wooden floor and towards the entrance, opening the door.

Once she opened her door, her parents and Nathan were behind it, smiling as they waved their hands into a jazz-like movement.

“Lulu!”

“My Lucky!”

“Ana!”

Her family charged through her doorway, bringing her into their arms for a family group hug. Luci was wide awake and smiling at the sight and presence of her family. They all eventually let her go to give her individual hugs to have their own moment because they just missed her that much.

They made their way out of the front entrance and hallway, walking more into her apartment as Ren and Beatrice looked around in awe of how much natural light that was provided. She gave her parents a tour before they all settled into the living room where they had a cup of coffee in to-go cups and ate breakfast sandwiches.

Luci then told them the events that happened yesterday, minus her unexpected hangout with Harry, and they were furious. All at once, their hearts broke but were quick to ignite with anger.

“How could she do that?!” Ren had an angry expression on his face, and it was one that she and Nathan had always been afraid of ever since they were younger; it was rare to see their father angry since he was much softer as it would take a lot for him to get him to that state.

She shrugged her shoulders. “People favor power over fairness these days, or else they’d lose their biggest stars.” Nathan scoffed from the sofa chair next to the couch, but didn’t say anything more.

It was the harsh truth of showbiz that almost everyone knew—it was a fact; Broadway and Hollywood don’t play fair, it’s obvious they want the best of the best, and if that’s passing up a new talent that could take them to the moon over the seniority of actors who’ve been in the industry for much longer, they’ll take that opportunity. And Luci knew that when she signed up for this.

Beatrice told Luci that she was sorry this was happening, and they all agreed that whenever her time to perform on stage comes, they’d be there. Luci smiled at her lap, appreciating their support. The Suki family talked for another hour and a half, catching up on the month that passed when they weren’t all together, before they took the subway to the hotel they were staying at to catch their flight out of New York. Luci said her goodbyes to them in front of the hotel, apologizing that they had to come out here for nothing, but they brushed it off, saying that they would do it again just to see her.

She watched them get into an Uber, waving at her family as they took off down the streets of Manhattan. She took the subway back to Brooklyn as she wrote down a list of what she wanted to do today; find more decorations, clean, eat pizza, and crack a bottle of wine because she damn well needed it.

It was almost eleven a.m. when she got back to her apartment and decided to get ready for the day. Her throat felt incredibly dry, so she hydrated herself, gulping the liquid down her throat until she heard a knock on her door. Luci furrowed her brows, wondering if it was Nathan or Beatrice behind that door, asking if they’d left their wallet or phone since they were the more forgetful ones in the family, but when she looked around her living room, she didn’t find anything.

A knock on the door was heard and Luci sighed, walking over to open it as she didn’t expect the person behind it.

“Samuel?”

“Hey, babe.” A smug smile was present on his face, but a scowl was present on hers, rolling her eyes at the pet name.

“What are you doing here—no, how do you even know where I live?” Luci placed her hand on her hip, a wrinkle in between her eyebrows.

“Not gonna let me in?” He gave her an amusing smile, and she rolled her eyes, huffing before moving to the side and letting him in. He walked into the main part of the apartment, looking around.

Luci crossed her arms, trailing behind him. “So, are you gonna answer my question?”

“I got your address when you texted me to come over that one night, remember?”

She mentally cursed herself. Her relationship with Samuel had done a complete one-eighty. After the afterparty on opening night, things were very weird between them after she denied his request to have sex with him in the bathroom of the longue. He had avoided her unless it was work related, but even then, he kept the conversation and words to a minimum, adding attitude and rudeness. If she thought things were weird then, it got even weirder the night leading up to when Daisy took her spotlight on stage last night.

During rehearsals, he’d flirt with Daisy sometimes even kiss her up. Daisy would give Luci a snarky look every time his face was in her neck, biting her skin, and that was when Luci found out the real reason why Daisy despised her. All because of Samuel. All because of a man. The bitter looks didn’t bother Luci and it wasn’t like she was jealous, but it simply confused her because one day he wanted to fuck her and was sweet to her but when she said no, he was rude and would fuck someone else—there was no real type of closure. He probably took her into the bathroom after she left, Luci thought.

So, she didn’t really care for him anymore because after all, he was just a someone to fuck; all she cared about was why he decided to show up at her apartment unannounced and uninvited.

“That was a very weak moment for me.” Luci rebutted mockingly; Samuel scoffed and smirked cockily. He leaned against her countertops, and she hated that she still found him attractive because anyone with eyes knew very clearly that he was a very sexy guy, and the worst part was that he knew it too—he knew it very well. “So, tell me what the fuck you’re doing here?”

“I’m here to tell you that you’re probably not going to perform anytime soon…” he said in a mocking tone, a fake pout on his face as he gave her puppy-dog eyes.

She scoffed, shaking her head lightly. “Aww, did Daisy tell you to come all the way here and tell me that?”

“And if she did?”

“It’s cute that you’re a messenger now. It suits you since you have all this time to waste, like you did mine.” She breathed out a laugh, making him roll his eyes, and it only brought satisfaction to hurt his huge ego. “Well, how about you tell your little Daisy to stop sending people to tell me things because if she had the balls, then she would tell me herself. Plus, you’re wasting your time here to tell me one little thing that doesn’t affect me.” Luci dramatically gasped. “I’m really living in both of your minds rent-free, aren't I?”

Samuel inhaled heavily, biting back his words as if Luci had offended him, but it would only make sense that he felt that way because of his feelings for Daisy. He headed towards the door with Luci hot on his tail as a way to push him out faster than he came in.

“Well, I’ll see you Luci—not on stage, but yeah, I’ll see you.” She wasn’t going to lie, but those few words took a dig at her heart; luckily, she’s an actor, so she was able to mask her pain and anger, giving him a scornful smile as she opened the door. Samuel chuckled, not amusingly but in a way that made him think that she was an outright bitch.

Harry’s door suddenly opened, making him stop in his tracks as he witnessed the interaction happening because it definitely looked like this guy was just leaving her place. Luci’s head turned towards him as her eyes widened slightly; Harry had a weird look on his face, looking back and forth between her and Samuel.

“Hey, Harry.” Luci broke his train of thought and Harry looked directly at her, smiling slightly.

“Hi, Luci.” She suddenly felt a wave of nerves wash through her, butterflies erupting in her stomach once he said her name, thinking that he was by far the best person to say it.

She felt antsy, fiddling with fingers as she started bouncing on the balls of her feet—a habit that she did when she started to feel nervous. Samuel could see straight through her, catching all the signs when she was a bit anxious and he had a feeling that it had something to do with her neighbor.

Samuel brisked past her, giving her a kiss on the cheek to mess with both of them; Luci’s eyes widened, pulling her face back but it was too late as his lips had already connected with her skin.

“See you, Luci.” Instead of the cocky smirk he had when he arrived, he had a loving and kind smile as he left because he wasn’t the only actor in the room.

Once Samuel rounded the corner, Luci looked at Harry and there was a crease in between his brows.

“I-I, uh, that’s not-”

“No worries. You don’t need to explain to me, honestly.” Harry walked out into the hallway, locking his door before giving her a toothless grin and walking down the hall.

Luci’s mouth was slightly ajar as she watched him. She closed her door and placed her forehead against it quite harshly, letting out a frustrated groan.

After much sulking, she decided to get on with her day, hoping she can be as productive as she hoped to be. But the thought of if Harry liked her—even as a person or ‘friend,’ if she could call herself that—lingered around in her head; and she doesn’t know why what he thought of her had so much of an affect on her, but it did. Maybe it was because she had a sort of infatuation with her neighbor, or that she couldn’t stop thinking about him and what he was doing across the hall. Whatever it was, she only hoped that he liked her too.

May 13, 2017

Quite early, Luci received a phone call from Tal.

Her phone was buzzing rapidly on her brown wooden nightstand; and in her sleep, she was trying to determine if she had set an alarm the previous night. When she thought she did, she let her phone snooze for ten minutes. But it was certainly not an alarm because just a few seconds after the buzzing stopped, it had started again.

Grumpy as usual in the morning, she groaned, propping her elbows on her mattress as she pried her eyes open and picked up her phone. When she saw Tal as the caller ID, her brows furrowed in confusion.

“Hello?”

“Luci? Luci? Hi, can you hear me?” The gauging sound of the city was heard on the other end of the call, and she could just imagine Tal placing one hand to her ear as she walked through the bustling streets.

“Yeah, I can. Hi.” Luci’s voice increased, becoming more audible for Tal.

“Great! So, I’m glad you answered. I know things have been a bit weird lately ever since, y’know…” she said, referring to when Daisy had stolen her spotlight. “But I want to let you know that you’re performing tonight. I’m saying this in a calm manner because I know you know the shit in the show, so I’m not worried about it. But I need you to play Kim tonight.”

Luci’s breath hitched in her throat as her eyes widened. She was completely speechless and she felt like she was dreaming. But first thing’s first, she needed to know why Tal’s statement at the end was demanding and slightly panicked.

“What happened to Daisy?” She wondered, sitting up fully on the gray wrinkled sheets from her slumber.

Tal sighed deeply, perceptible through the chaos of the outside. “Last night, she partied a bit too hard. She’s just getting back to her place, according to Samuel, and she was high off her ass. I don’t need that today, or ever. So, I figured this would be the perfect time for you to step in.”

“And why me? Why not Wendy?” Luci referred to the understudy for Kim.

“Listen, I’m sorry I didn’t stick up for you when I should’ve. Daisy has always been…intimidating to me, which is crazy because I run the show, but I should’ve been more stern with her. So, with Daisy out of the picture for today, I want you to perform tonight.”

Tal genuinely felt guilty that she wasn’t being the stage director that she should’ve been. She let Daisy control some of the show when it should’ve been her to direct everyone. Tal loved her job, she did, but every time she had Daisy as one of the lead characters, she almost dreaded work. She didn’t want to be one of those people who dreaded work because although theatre is stressful at times, it’s also fun and her passion.

“Okay…” Luci couldn’t hold it in any longer. “I’ll perform tonight.”

Tal let out a sigh of relief. “Oh, thank god. Okay, perfect. Thank you so much, Luci. I’ll see you at five.” \

“I’ll be there. Bye, Tal.”

Luci hung up the phone and sat on her bed for what felt like forever, simply gazing into the sheets as she couldn’t believe what had happened. Luci was going to perform tonight; her dream was finally coming true.

When the realization hit her, the corners of her lips turned up into a bright and excited smile. She laughed and screamed and squealed into her pillow, doing a little mini dance on her bed. Looking at the time, it was nearing eight so she had plenty of time to start her pre-show morning routine. But the first thing that she needed to do was to text her family.

I’M PERFORMING TONIGHT!

Instantly, she got responses from them.

Nathan: REALLY?! I get off work at four, I could take a last minute flight.

Luci hearted her brother’s message.

Pa: Luci, I’m so happy for you! Your mother is still asleep but I’ll wake her up and tell her the news. We’ll see what we could do to make it to the show.

She thanked them, texting that she hoped to see them tonight, but would understand if they couldn’t make it since it was last minute.

Hopping out of bed, she washed up and changed into her workout clothes to go on a walk and grab a smoothie. It was such a beautiful day out that there were more people out on the streets in the morning than usual as they were basking in the bright sun and lovely weather.

Once she got back home, she made her favorite breakfast—a bacon, egg, and cheese on a bagel with cream cheese; and rehearsed some of the more emotional and dramatic lines, taking notes on which parts needed more depth of emotion.

The day had gone by relatively fast as she showered, tidied, and packed her belongings; and it was already 3:45, so she headed out the door.

As Luci was locking up and about to walk down the hall, she looked at Harry’s door. She hadn’t talked to him in about two weeks, since the time he opened his door to Samuel kissing her cheek. She had sort of missed him, and she felt like the event with Samuel had put up a wall; she felt like he was avoiding her.

Thinking back to their conversation at the diner, she remembered that he told her he would be there when it was her time to perform, and she didn’t want to not inform him on that because she had a feeling that he would be disappointed hadn’t he known.

Bravely, she stood in front of his door and knocked, hoping that he was home because she didn’t have his number to tell him. Luci waited one minute before she knocked again and waited another minute before sighing. Just as she was two feet down the hall, his door suddenly opened, making her turn around quickly. Harry looked out into the hall without taking a step out of his apartment and saw Luci with a tote bag on her shoulder, wearing leggings, a vintage tee with Stevie Nicks printed on it, and a beige cardigan.

“Luci?”

She turned around. “Harry, hi. Uh, how are you?” Her attitude had visibly changed and brightened as she was ecstatic to see that he answered the door. His hair was wet, separating the strands of hair into slightly thicker chunks as water droplets lingered at the tips; which explained why he didn’t answer the door right away.

“Good, good. How are you?”

“Good—great, actually. I-I’m actually performing tonight and I wanted to tell you that in case you wanted to watch the show.” She suppressed a wide smile, linking his hands together to refrain herself from jumping up and down in excitement.

Harry raised his brows before the corners of his lips turned upward. “Really?” She nodded. “Luci, that’s amazing!” He exclaimed.

“Yeah, I’m really excited. I was just called this morning that I was performing tonight, so I’m heading to the theatre right now.”

“I’m so happy for you. But I, uh, have plans already tonight. I’m sorry,” he said sympathetically. Luci couldn’t deny the ache in her chest when he said that, but she completely understood as it was a last minute decision for her to perform.

“Oh, no worries. Maybe another time whenever I get to perform again. I’ll let you know?”

“Yeah, please do.” He nodded. There was a bit of silence after as there was nothing left to say. “Well, uh, good luck out there.”

“Thank you.” She smiled. “Maybe we could get some coffee or a smoothie. There’s this really good smoothie place down the street-”

“Brooklyn’s Smoothies?” He asked; Luci nodded. “That’s my go-to smoothie place. But yeah, I’m down for that. Just let me know when.”

Now, she had another thing she could be excited about: her second hangout with Harry.

“Great!” She headed towards the hall before she walked back towards him, pulling her phone out. “Here, put your number in—only if you want to.” He chuckled, grabbing her phone as he quickly put his number and name into his phone before handing it back to her. “I’ll text you. Bye, Harry!” She waved as she walked towards the end of the hall; Harry waved back before walking back into his apartment and closing the door.

Once she was on the subway, she found Harry’s contact, which he named himself ‘Harry (neighbor)’ as if he thought she was going to forget who he was. But it was quite the opposite as he seemed to invade most of her mind as she mindlessly thought about him. She almost always curses herself for being so nervous around him, but that was because he somewhat intimidated her; and that said a lot because she’s very confident in her own skin and rarely finds anyone intimidating. But there was just something about him that made her nervous, and that thought slightly scared her.

Hi, Harry! It’s Luci, here’s my number.

She placed her phone face down on her thigh that was relentlessly bouncing before she hit send. Before sending it, she looked over the text, practically overthinking a simple greeting that didn’t need any more thinking. A few minutes later as she was transferring trains and sitting on the blue bench, her phone vibrated. She picked up her phone as the screen lit up; Harry’s message appeared on the screen.

Hiiii, thank you. Good luck tonight x

Luci smiled crazily at her phone, putting her chin to her chest as she hid her smile from the many people on the subway with her. She thanked him, and decided to start another conversation after the show so she could tell him how the show went, which was an excuse to text him again. She locked her phone and turned the volume up higher as G Luné played through her Airpods.

Her cheeks had started to hurt due to the fact that she couldn’t stop smiling, like it was genuinely difficult for her stop. A surge of happiness and relief had washed over her that she felt the happiness line on her chart increase. With a little over two months of living in New York, she had felt like her career was going nowhere when that was the entire reason why she moved there; the whole situation with Daisy had made her life plateaued as her happiness line wasn’t moving upwards. But tonight, it was skyrocketing.

T-minus five minutes until showtime, and Luci was bouncing on the balls of her feet. She started humming and whistling to get her mind off the perturbation that ran along the linings and spaces of her body; it didn’t help that everyone was literally running around, passing by one another through the dark corridor.

Obviously, everyone knew that it was Luci’s first night performing, so they tried keeping everything light and easy for her, which she appreciated. Once she walked through the doors of backstage, she was immediately greeted with warm and excited smiles—the complete opposite as the last time she walked through the door. Nina squealed and hugged her as they both jumped around in elation; Luci truly missed the first friend she’d ever made on Broadway, and they promised each other that they’d hangout more often outside the theatre.

After Luci had her hair and makeup done, changed into her costume, and was mic'd up, she was standing on the side of the stage where she could hear the crowd settling into their seats as they talked amongst themselves. Peter, who was playing Chris tonight, stood beside her, rolling his neck in circles and moving his jaw around. She was glad to know that Samuel wasn’t performing tonight because god only knows what he would say to her, only to get inside of her head right before the show.

She heard the technical and stage crew speak into their headsets, asking if everyone was ready as they counted down from ten. The lights went out, the curtains were pulled to the side, and Luci’s mind went blank as ‘Kim’ took over, completely owning this character because it was fucking showtime.

After two hours of pouring emotion to give her best act while the spotlight was on her, shining brighter than ever before so she couldn’t see the audience below her, watching intently, her first performance was successfully over.

She’d earned a majority of standing ovations and was called for another curtain call, where she ran back on stage to overwhelmingly smile brightly, waved, bowed, and blew kisses to the crowd who were whistling and cheering for her wonderful performance. This amazing and exhilarating feeling was something she anticipated, and it did not disappoint; it was a feeling that she wanted to feel every other night. She loved the praise, the cheers, and the claps that were thrown at her so fast that she could cry at how hard the impact was.

When she left the stage and headed over to the dressing room, her cast members cheered for her as Luci clapped all around the room for everyone’s hard work tonight as well. They all took pictures with one another to share this memorable moment; Luci told everyone to send her the pictures because she wanted to get them framed for her apartment because this moment was definitely frame-worthy.

When it was time to leave, they all took off their costume and hung it on its rightful rack, and changed into their own clothes before walking out into the lobby where the audience could meet and greet some of the cast. Cheers erupted in the lobby once the cast walked through the doors, and they all smiled, mouthing ‘thank you’ and bowing their heads in appreciation.

Luci walked through the crowd as they stopped her to tell her that she did an amazing performance; she was grateful and said thank you to everyone she came across. She weaved through the crowd, trying to find Nathan or anyone she could share this moment with; and she was lucky that Nathan was tall because she spotted him instantly.

When she finally reached him, she was somewhat surprised to see their parents with him because they didn’t mention they were coming tonight, just that they had to see what they could do in order to make it.

Beatrice was the first one to hug her. “Oh, my Lucky Star. I’m so proud of you!” She hugged Luci tight, swaying to the side. Once her mother let go, she hugged her dad who had the proudest and biggest smile on his face.

“Lulu, you did amazing up there.” She smiled into Ren’s shoulder, feeling herself tear up from the positive reaction of her performance.

Nathan was patiently waiting for his hug; and Luci pulled away from her father, giving him a smile before hugging her brother.

“Ana, you’re so talented.” He squeezed her, patting her back as she always found the action comforting since she was a little girl. Beatrice was taking photos of her kids, tears glossing her eyes at her greatest accomplishments.

“Thank you for coming. I know you’re tired from work, but thank you for being here anyways.” She could tell that Nathan had just put a long coat over his navy blue scrubs, meaning that he had flown to New York straight from work.

“No worries. We wouldn’t miss this for anything, honestly.”

Luci pulled away, smiling as she faced her family. She thanked her parents for coming, still surprised, and they said the same thing Nathan did: that they wouldn’t miss it for the world.

They took pictures amongst each other, taking a family selfie before Ren had just asked someone nearby to take a proper photo of them.

“Excuse me? Do you mind taking a picture of us?” The man turned around, making Luci softly gasp. Tonight was just full of surprises because Harry was the one who turned around and nodded, grabbing her mother’s phone to take a picture of her family.

Harry looked dashingly handsome; he wore black trousers, a baby pink shirt with a black coat over. He held a bouquet of flowers in his arms as he took the picture; and for the life of Luci, she couldn’t dare to stop smiling at him instead of the camera.

Ren was the first to walk over to him and thanked him, but Harry didn’t walk away, he simply stayed put until Luci walked over towards him. Her parents and brother were looking at each other warily, wondering how Luci knew the man who took their picture.

“You’re here.” She smiled so brightly as if the spotlight was glued onto her.

Harry blushed, looking down at his feet before looking back up. “Yeah, I told you I would be here when you were going to perform, right?” Something that she hadn’t witnessed yet until now, that took her by surprise, was the dimple that indented his left cheek, more so than his right cheek. He looked absolutely adorable when he smiled, on top of being handsome; Harry was simply a beautiful man.

“You did tell me that, I remember.” She couldn’t stop the giddy grin that felt like it was permanently placed on her face because she couldn’t believe that he was here.

“Oh, these are for you. You did an amazing job—the crowd loved you.” He handed her the mixed bouquet of pink peonies, baby pink roses, white lillies, and baby’s breath wrapped in brown paper. Luci smiled down at the bouquet, admiring how pretty the colors and how well the different flowers looked together. She wondered if Harry picked these out himself; if he individually picked every single flower that was in the bouquet.

Feeling her face heat up, she unexpectedly leaned in for a hug; and this time, he was ready as he opened his arms and hugged her. He squeezed her tighter than he did when she was crying in his arms, making her heart flutter in her chest. Luci had completely forgotten that her family was behind her until she pulled away. Her eyes slightly widened, knowing that they were most likely enjoying the show that was happening off-stage of her hugging a man they didn’t know.

“Thank you so much for coming, Harry. It means a lot to me.” He simply nodded. Luci slightly turned her body, presenting herself to her family. “Uh, Harry, this is my family. And this is Harry; he’s my neighbor.”

Beatrice brows raised, and Luci gave her a knowing look that told her not to say anything weird.

“Hi, I’m Beatrice, Luci’s mom.” She shook his hand.

“Hello, I’m Harry. Nice to meet you.” Beatrice turned towards Luci with wide eyes once she heard his accented voice, and she chuckled at her mother’s reaction.

Ren and Nathan introduced themselves, and they all made conversation quite easily. It was a side that Luci’s never seen of Harry—quite talkative. She wondered if she was the problem as to why he wasn’t so talkative. But she figured that almost everyone wanted to impress and get along with their friend’s parents.

Once they were finished talking amongst themselves, Beatrice whispered into Ren’s ear and then Nathan’s; and Luci wondered what they could be so secretive about that they couldn’t say it out loud.

Suddenly, Nathan said, “Well, we’ll see you soon, Ana.” He gave her a quick hug as Luci furrowed her brows, confused.

“Oh, I thought we could get dinner or something.” It was like her parents didn’t even consider her suggestion as they were hugging her goodbye.

“I have to get back to Boston, work tomorrow, y’know?” Nathan excuses; Luci nodded, understanding before turning her head towards her parents, seeing which excuse they’ll use since tomorrow was Sunday.

“Uh, we have a flight to catch—red-eye.” Beatrice spoke up, a little white lie slipping so easily on her tongue. Luci looked at Ren, finding him nodding, warily looking at his wife.

She could tell, inside and out, that her parents weren’t being truthful because she knew that they’d want to spend every minute with her while they were in the city so they wouldn’t get a red-eye flight on her opening night. Plus, Beatrice had been eyeing her and Harry ever since he introduced himself, so she knew that her family acting weird and how they suddenly had to leave was most likely them wanting Luci to hangout with Harry.

“Plus, don’t you have an afterparty to go to?” Ren asked.

“I mean, yeah, but I could always skip it-”

“Now, why would you do that? It’s your opening night; people are gonna be wondering where you are!” Ren did make a point, making Luci mentally agreeing.

Luci didn’t bother asking any more questions, and decided to let them leave, although she was a bit sad that they had to leave again. They said another round of goodbyes and hugged each other tightly; they planned to come to New York again so they could properly hang out, and Luci said that she’ll see what she could do with going back home to visit. Of course, they didn’t forget to say goodbye to Harry; Ren and Nathan shaking his hand as Beatrice gave him a hug. Luci watched them interact as if he was an old boyfriend or a new boyfriend that they happened to like and adore so much.

She waved to them as they headed outside the Broadway Theatre doors, and then she was left with Harry. He shyly smiled at her, and Luci hugged the bouquet of flowers tightly to her chest.

“Uh, would you like to go to the afterparty with me?” She asked.

Luci watched as Harry considered the invitation in his head. There were two options that he was debating from: go home and have a boring night in, or go to an afterparty with his insanely beautiful neighbor that he was slowly but surely taking a liking to. He realized that wasn’t such a difficult decision after all, so he chose the latter.

“I’d love to.”

The entire cast settled into the same lounge that held their very first afterparty. The lounge apparently didn’t mind since everyone contributed to buying lots of alcohol, so they obviously wouldn’t pass up the opportunity of business.

Luci introduced Harry to the cast who decided to show up, and she was happy that they were very friendly and welcoming to him because the last thing she wanted was awkward tension between her neighbor and coworkers. She wished Nina had gone to the after party because Luci knew that she would get excited about the neighbor she’s crushing on.

Luci and Harry decided to pace themselves with the drinks as they didn’t take the shots that were given to them at the same time as the rest; instead, they nursed and sipped their drinks. They were towards the end of the circle, in their own world as they talked to one another. Luci was happy they were getting to know each other better, but she figured that was the help and magic of what alcohol did. They told each other childhood stories that made each other laugh, increasing the buzz going on inside their heads.

Harry had an additional glow to him when he was tipsy, and Luci thought it was the cutest thing ever. He was very touchy—placing a hand on her arm, shoulder, or knee at any given moment—and his laugh was contagious as it was loud and he threw his head back. It was a side that pleasantly took her by surprise, and she hoped that as they continued talking and hanging out, this side of him comes out more when they’re sober and comfortable with one another.

“Can I ask why your brother calls you Ana?” He wondered, asking at the same time Luci was taking a sip of her drink.

She nodded. “Yeah. So, Nathan is five years older than I am, and my mom and dad said when he was five, he still had a hard time speaking, like he’d babble and seem to talk gibberish. Anyways, when I was born, my parents were trying to get him to say my name, but couldn’t pick up on the first part of it; he started out with ‘An,’ but eventually picked up ‘Ana.’ And since then, it just seemed to stick—he’s the only one who calls me that and would personally get offended if someone else called me that.” She ended with a chuckle and a sip of her shot.

“What’s your full name?”

“Luciana Ivy Suki.” She said slow and a bit sultry, which she hadn’t meant to. The dark light and booze didn’t help that she felt a bit sexy.

Harry smirked slightly. “Luciana.” He stated as if he was testing how it sounded and felt on the tongue. Luci felt a chill run down her body, making her skin prickle from the goosebumps.

If she was starting to melt from the sound of her nickname from his lips, the sound of her full name had completely liquified her.

After an hour, the two moved to the bar, completely forgetting that they were with the cast. Luci suggested getting more drinks for them, and Harry told her that he’d come with. He said something along the lines of “don’t want to miss a moment hanging out with you,” and Luci swore that her heart was becoming a butterfly’s nest as it sank down to her stomach and made her smile.

“It’s genuinely insane how talented you are, like I was nearly crying by the end of the show!” He complimented, sipping on a Pomegranate Paloma through a thin black straw. Harry was genuinely so amazed as he watched Luci act, alas he was near the rear mezzanine, which was towards the back, he was still blown away by the entire production, especially Luci’s talents.

“That’s so sweet. Thank you, Harry.” She smiled down at her Royal Manhattan, swirling the drink around in its glass. She was used to taking compliments about her acting and talent, but when Harry complimented her, it made her insides jittery and her face heat up; she felt so honored that Harry was praising her for her talents.

“Now, can I ask…I thought you had plans tonight. What happened to that?” She wondered.

Harry blushed, nervously chuckling. “Uh, I canceled them.”

Her eyes widened. “W-Was it anything serious?”

“It was a date that my friend, Jeff, set me up with but I wasn’t all that interested in the first place.

She pouted. “Harry, I feel bad.”

“Don’t be. I wanted to be here.” She smiled at that, looking at the contents inside of her glass.

“I’m really glad you’re here.” She reciprocated the thought, clinking her glass with his as they both sipped their drinks.

After another hour, the cast was lessening one by one, calling it a night as they said their goodbyes to Luci and Harry. She hadn’t realized how quickly time had gone by until the bartender of the lounge had told them that they were closing in a few minutes. Luci looked at her phone as the time read 12:55 a.m., which her and Harry laughed about because they were both in shock about the night being so late already. So, they left the lounge, not before generously tipping the bartender $40 each and gathered their belongings; Luci made sure to not forget the beautiful flowers Harry gave her.

Neither of them felt like they were sober enough to get on the subway themselves, knowing they would probably get on the wrong one or fall asleep and end up somewhere else. So, they decided on an Uber, seeming as that was the most responsible and safest option there was.

Luci got inside the black Honda, saying ‘hi’ to their driver. The entire ride back to Brooklyn was quiet, only the soft breaths they both exhaled and the pounding of their hearts. Harry felt himself getting sleepier, and unexpectedly resting his head against Luci’s shoulder. She tensed up at first, not expecting the action, but she welcomed it, placing her head on top of his. They both watched the city through the car window as it disappeared from their sight once they were in Brooklyn.

Once they were in front of their apartment complex, Harry offered her his arm and she looped her arm through his, leaning into his side as he guided her to the elevator. He leaned against the corner of the elevator with Luci pressed up against his side with her arms still around his, and he looked down to see her eyes closed. He softly smiled, moving the strand of hair that had fallen in the middle of her face to the side.

The loud Ding! of the elevator seemed to wake Luci up as she startled awake, making Harry chuckle. They walked down the hall and towards their door; Harry occasionally had to tell Luci to keep quiet as she was singing ‘Wannabe’ by the Spice Girls, but Harry couldn’t help but join in.

When they got to their doors, as usual, they unlocked and opened it; but they didn’t immediately go inside their apartments. Instead, they turned around to face each other; both of their eyes droopy from the slight buzz that was still in their system.

Luci smiled before leaning in to hug him. Her arms wrapped around his shoulders as his arms went around her waist. The hug was sweet and warm as it definitely fed to the touchy-feely side of their buzz.

When they pulled away, Luci leaned up to boldly plant a kiss on his cheek. “Thank you for being here, Harry. Shall we hang out next week?” Harry nodded, not trusting his voice to say anything as his heart erupted into flames. She gave him a smile as he was frozen from the chaste kiss; and Luci walked into her apartment, waving at him before she closed the door.

Harry was out in the hallway, stunned as he blushed from the small kiss she had left on his cheek; and it was something he was going to be dreaming of until he wakes up, only to think about it over and over again.

Harry was cooking breakfast when he heard relentless knocking on his front door. He peeked his head out from the kitchen to look at the door, like that would tell him who was behind it, as he was whisking some eggs in a white glass bowl. Setting the bowl down, he walked over to the door and opened it.

To his surprise, Luci was behind it as tears streamed down her face with her phone in her hand; she was in her soft blue pajama pants with a black hoodie over, and despite her recent state, Harry thought she looked absolutely adorable and cuddly. But he pushed that thought to the side; immediately, Harry was concerned. His eyes widened and his protective side turned on, thinking he was going to lose his shit on whoever caused this poor girl to cry.

“I-I’m sorry. I just…” she hiccupped, and Harry took her into his arms. He was slightly confused about what had happened during the six hours he’d last seen her—when they were coming home from the lounge. He still couldn’t get that kiss out of his head; in fact, it was difficult for him to sleep because he kept reiterating it in his head.

He pulled her into his apartment, closing the door as he sat her down on his brown leather couch. She cried into his shoulder as she passed him her phone that was unlocked on an article. He grabbed it, not letting go of her while he rubbed her arm.

The article read on the bright screen read:

Miss Saigon or Miss No-BE GONE!

Just twelve hours ago, I went to see the show ‘Miss Saigon; for the second time. The first time I went to see it was last month when Broadway star royalty, Ms. Daisy Beck, was playing the role of ‘Kim.’ With its amazing cast, production set, and story-telling, I knew I needed to see the play again.

My hopes and dreams were crushed when I didn’t see Ms. Beck on stage, but instead, a newbie Broadway actress known as Luciana Suki. Before writing this review, I did some research on her to my very best ability because she’s practically a nobody in this business, and found out that she had been in several commercials since she was a child (great another child actor) and has been on Off-Broadway, which definitely explains the acting! At least give a man a warning before I decide to put up with a shit-show of a performance. I couldn’t even stay for the entire show because it was completely horrifying to see injustice served to Kim and a downgrade from Daisy Beck.

I tried, I really tried; but I left during intermission. Luciana Suki is not meant to be playing the part of Kim—almost everyone agrees. There was no connection, no emotion to the character, and it was a poorly done job in Luciana’s part and the casting.

It’s Daisy Beck or no production. Simple as that, or else, the show will lose its audience and precious money that they wasted on paying Luciana Suki.

Harry sighed, balling his hands up into fists as he locked her phone and set it aside. How could anybody be so cruel? He understood the importance of critics to the theatre, but to outright insult and humiliate someone wasn’t even critical—it’s being straight up rude.

Once Luci was ready and had somewhat calmed down, she pulled away from Harry’s embrace, looking at him. Poor Luci’s eyes were swollen and her eyes were red from the crying, and she was a sniffling mess. Harry quickly grabbed her a few tissues to dry her tears, and she blew her nose into the soft cotton paper, not really caring how unattractive she thought it was.

“That article was written by Adam West—the most important critic in Broadway.” She wiped the snot under her nose. “H-He practically just ruined my career and any chances I have on Broadway ever again.” Luci sobbed as it was difficult for her to accept the fact that she may never act ever again because of a senior journalist. Her chest hurt and her eyes started to become sore from the amount of times she squeezed them shut, freeing her tears.

“No, come here.” Harry’s heart ached for her, and he couldn’t imagine what she must be going through when that article was directly made towards her. He pulled her in for another hug, and she softly cried against his chest, staining his white t-shirt with her tears, but he couldn’t care less. “You’re insanely talented—critics or no critics—no one could deny your talent. What he said was unprofessional and poorly written, and that’s coming from an English major and a teacher. Now, I’m sure that you know you’re extremely gifted and you’ve worked hard to get to where you are. So, don’t let him get to you because almost everyone loved your performance last night.”

Harry reassured her quite well that Luci had calmed down; it helped that the vibrations from his chest to her ear as he talked had soothed her—it was quite relaxing. She pulled away again, looking at him through glassy eyes as another tear threatened to fall. He placed his palms against her cheeks, taking his thumbs and running it across her skin to wipe her tears away.

“Would you like some French Toast? Heard it’s a comfort-food, but I may be wrong. Maybe I’m being biased because I think my recipe is good.” He tried lightening up her mood, and it’d definitely worked because she breathed out a chuckle and nodded.

“I’m not intruding, right?” He shook his head. “No significant other to get mad at me and throw me out?” She slyly asked as she had been wondering if he had someone. Plus, she was still wondering about the red-hair woman who frantically left his apartment.

“Nope.”

“The…red-haired girl. You’re not with her?”

Harry smirked as he definitely indulged into the slightly jealous feeling that Luci was portraying. “No, we’re not dating. She’s just a friend.” He chuckled. “What about you? Someone I should be worried about?” He stirred the topic towards her as curiosity also got the best of him.

“Nope.” She answered the same way he did. “Do you make out with all of your friends? Noticed her lipstick was a bit smeared off.” Luci knew later on that she would regret opening her mouth and spewing out those particular choice of words. Her tone also seemed a bit jealous, and she had no right to be, but her crush on Harry was quickly increasing.

“I mean, some of them; when the time comes.” He somewhat joked.

“Would you make out with me?” Luci spat out, but quickly slapped her palm against her mouth, eyes widening. Her mind was speaking for herself as she’d been dreaming of the way Harry’s pink lips felt against her mouth and other places she wouldn’t dare speak aloud. “I’m sorry, I don’t know why-”

“Yeah, I would,” he responded honestly. This was the most honest and straight-forward he’d ever been, which only occurs every few months, so it was time to close that window again and wait for it to open. But he also couldn’t deny his attraction to her, like it was difficult to not be so enticed with her. He felt at complete ease with her, and it felt incredibly easy to talk to Luci and be open. “So, the French Toast?” He changed the subject, walking over to the kitchen, leaving Luci glued to her seat on the couch.

Astonished by his words, she was extra shocked that he was so quick to move on from his response. But she was glad to know that he would want to kiss her, maybe, some time in the future; but the thought made her giddy because she undeniably wanted to kiss him too.

come talk to me about your favorite moments and scenes, and your thoughts and feelings! thank you for reading <3 next chapter will be posted next saturday!

#harry styles fanfiction #harry styles au #harry styles angst #harry styles smut #harry styles fluff #harry styles x ofc #harry styles ff #harry styles fanfic #harry styles series #harry styles writing #teacher!harry #boyfriend!harry #actress!oc

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sparkledfirecracker · 2 years

Note

Happy New Year Lilo

From your writer questions list;

4. Are there any writers who inspire you?

34. Copy and paste an excerpt you're particularly fond of.

I present to you a nice gift in thanks for answering

Happy New Year to you too Emma!!

Ugh, buff daddy looking fine he should be imprisoned (in my bed) for it 😌, all I'm hearing now is @dreamlessinparis saying; "Your Ari kink is showing" and my only response to that is this

Are there any writers who inspires you?

Yes, too many...but I always feel awkward sharing everyone on here and feel bad for leaving others out. It gives me great anxiety.

I’ll share one though and that’s @syntheticavenger she’s the reason I allowed myself to write again. She’s always popping out new stories and is just a pure story wizard. I entered one of her challenges earlier last year and the rest is history 😊

Copy and paste an excerpt you're particularly fond of.

I normally don’t really look back much when stories are posted and I have the memory of a goldfish when it comes to stories, written or read.

This one of my own for a story I wanted to post yesterday, but it will be today (I hope) and only 2 others know why I wrote it and it certainly hasn’t failed to make me laugh since I came up with it.

“I’m taking the necessary arrangements to protect my staff. I respect you as a guest Ari, but you have got to take your business elsewhere.”

This second one I’m fond of, because every single time I read it, the vision I had in my mind returns, that doesn’t always happen when rereading or editing. So I’m proud of having captured a moment that played like a mind reel with words.

The air was thick, filled with too much testosterone, but you kept a straight face taking in every single person in the room. You stifled your giggle with ease. It could have easily been a scene from a movie. Associates with Fedora’s and Lincoln’s resting on their heads, long fitted coats and cigars between their teeth. Was this the shit Andy had to deal with daily?

Although there's one line that isn’t my own, but I’m very fond of and it’s by @buckyownsmylife . It was done for one of her headcanons and it’s still stuck in my head, because I was like WHAT??? That last line was so unexpected, especially in the setting she placed it. I’m not going to ruin it by saying what it is, because that line connects everything and was a lovely flip to the sweet start.

I did notice that tumblr has been a little bitch again and deleted the reblog I swore I did back then 🤦🏼‍♀️ (don’t worry Eyre, I’ll redo it, because persistency always wins from the patriarchy). But yes it’s a line that lives rent free in my head.

This was so much longer than I intended it to be 🙈, but you know me, once I start rambling I don’t shut up, haha.

#lilo gives answers #sweetkingdomstarlight blog #ending the year #emma and eyre's new year's celebration

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theonetheycallhannah · 4 years

Text

The Treatment of Captain Syverson-Prologue: History

Characters: OFC (Shane Benton), OMC (Elliott Thomas)

Summary: Shane Benton is a hard-working physical therapist and a loving girlfriend…but her boyfriend has a less than desirable way of showing it.

In case you’ve fallen behind or want to read more of my drabbles!

Word Count: 1.5k

Warnings: Language, mature themes, angst, infidelity, domestic violence (moderate). Yeah, this may be a tad rough for some readers, but I tried to be mild, and mostly implicit. It was hard still, to see my fictional offspring go through this, even if she gives as good as she gets!

Author’s Note: Oh, y’all. When I needed a break from the sweet tenderness of Chapter 8, I came here and put Shane through some hell. (You can blame one of my friends I was talking about for this angst as they’re the one who put me into angsty headspace by cheating on my other friend! It’s been weighing on me! But I guess at least I’ve been able to use it!) I really hope you enjoy a bit of backstory on our heroine! I really liked writing her ferocity.

Also, I meant to have this posted yesterday, but because of some tragedy in one of my other fandoms (and the world, in general! Rest In Power, Chadwick Boseman!) and a bit of craziness in my personal life (my HS bestie wanted to hang out this weekend, so I spent a lot of time with her…also…I’ve been talking to a real live fella! OMG! And it’s entirely too soon to say that I like him, but like…I very much do…but he’s far away and recently single and things are complicated in just, several ways, so it just can’t happen at this point. But…like, we have been talking a ton recently, and…sigh. I have found it difficult to focus on the matters at hand. But, rest assured, I’m working on Chapter Nine, and it will be up just as soon as I find my rhythm!

Disclaimer: Unbeta’d because this is for fun and escapism. (Well, this isn’t a super fun chapter, I guess!)

Tags:

@onlyhenrys

@cavillryarchive

@summersong69

@titty-teetee

@bloodyinspiredfuck

@agniavateira

@oddsnendsfanfics

@omgkatinka

@thisismysecretthirstblog

@misslaland

@speakerforthedead0

@tumblnewby

@suavechops

Hope I’m not forgetting anyone! If you want to be notified when I post a new chapter or work, I’ll be happy to add you to my tag list! (Also, if you’ve asked and aren’t on the list...well...that would be because I forgot to add you and reminding me will not offend or upset me. I think I might have ADD, or something, and being reminded about things is kind of how I survive!) Stricken blogs are getting personal messages from me when a new chapter is uploaded because Tumblr’s faulty tagging system will not stand in the way of me delivering what the people want!(?) lol! (Although…their lackadaisical notification system might…sorry for that. I have no control. lol!)

X@X@X@X@X@X@X@X

5 years ago-

Shane got home from work, exhausted. The new electronic documentation system they'd just implemented was kicking her ass. And Anita's, whom she constantly had to help with it, all the while hearing Anita bellow "When can I retire?!" which lost its charm on about the third day.

"Elliott, I'm home." She didn't smell anything cooking, despite the fact that she knew he was off all day today. Whatever. She was used to him doing virtually nothing but whatever hipster bullshit he got up to on Instagram and YouTube, trying to get off the ground as an influencer with a brand…spare her. Since when did that become a job? She didn’t mind to get takeout though, if only she knew he wasn’t cooking. Maybe she should have asked. "Honey, I could have picked something up if--" she was startled by him in the doorway to the hall, in only his anime boxers, looking like he was trying to not be surprised she was home. "What?"

"Nothing, just…excited to see you! How was your day?" Elliott asked, scratching the back of his neck, displacing his mid-length, slightly moppy light brown hair, already disheveled. That was his tell. Something was up. She knew it.

"What's going on? Are you hiding something from me?"

"Why would you ask me that? Don't you trust me, baby?!" he guilted. Knowing just the buttons to push for empathy. It wasn't gonna work today. The machine was all out of that selection and full of his bullshit currency.

"Now that you mention it, no. I sure as hell don't." she walked around to enter the hall and investigate the rest of the house. "Let me through." he wouldn't budge. He had the advantage of physical size, but she was still wearing her work uniform including sneakers…he was more than half naked. She stomped hard on his instep and smacked him in the ear as he doubled over. She felt marginally bad for that in the moment…at best he'd get mild tinnitus for a while. At worst, he could have permanent hearing damage. She'd check later for blood coming out of his ear and see if she should feel worse about it then.

She rounded the corner to their bedroom. The quilt her grandma had made her was carelessly crumpled with the top sheet and blanket at the foot board. She noticed a swatch of an orangey red lipstick on her pillow. The same shade smudged onto the full mouth of the panicking strawberry blonde frantically donning clothes in front of her antique mirror, and the same shade, she was guessing, that was smeared across certain places on Elliott’s body that were now covered by those boxers that she had always hated. You know what, Elliott, she thought to herself. Fuck Bleach, and fuck you!

"I'm sure you're a lovely person who's just been lied to by a very charming and manipulative man, but…you still only have ten seconds to get to my front door before I call the cops." Shane threatened the girl, who couldn't have been more than twenty-one…and he was thirty-three.

"She's my guest." Elliott defended.

"You're not even on the lease. Your credit was too bad." she said over her shoulder while still squared off with the girl. She turned back to her. "I'm trying to be calm here, sweetie. But do not make me tell you even one more time to get out of my…fucking…house." the girl picked up her shoes and a small messenger bag from the floor near where Shane stood, keeping as wide a berth as she could, and skittered out of the room in terror.

"How many times, Elliott?"

"Don't do this, Shane."

"No, I think this is something we should do. Count the times you’ve broken my trust. Kissed another girl, fooled around with one, fucked one…I mean…I've never caught you in our bed before, so this LOOKS like a first…I sure hope it is…because I don't recall you doing any laundry since you've lived here. And if I thought you let me sleep in the same sheets that you…I can't even look at you, you son of a bitch."

"It's not what you think, Shane." he said, calmly, as if he'd simply picked up the wrong consistency of peanut butter from the store. The wrong brand of milk. Not that he ever did the shopping.

"Bullshit. Bull. Shit. Elliott. I come home and find you like this, and there's a girl in OUR bedroom, and her lipstick is all over MY pillow, and your balls, no doubt. Not gonna make you prove it, because at this point, I don't give a shit anymore. I've lost count of how many times I've forgiven you, even times you didn't care enough to ask me to. Times you probably don't even know that I know about. But it's done. You're gonna pack up all your things. And you're gonna be gone by the time I get home from work tomorrow. And don't expect me to be late…because I will not be."

"You're acting crazy. You can't do this. Where will I go, Shane?"

"That's not my concern anymore. Find an apartment that accepts Likes and subscriptions and followers as rent and cherish it. But your free ride here is done. I'm not your mom, your maid, your cook, or…anything to you anymore, Elliott."

He was getting angry now. His nostrils flared and his breaths came more quickly.

"Is this because you're fucking another guy? Hmm?" he got in her space, but she was out of the bedroom and back into the hallway. She shouted back.

"Oh, NOW you're gonna try to deflect this onto me? When in holy hell would I have time to get with anyone but you, when we don't even have sex anymore?! It's been, what, two, three months?"

"You work with guys."

"You have no idea who I am. To think that I would do something like that. No idea at all. If I don't have time at home, I certainly don't have time for sex at work, and you can ask any of my coworkers, male OR female. That place is an unsexy, unholy shit show 90% of the time. And the other ten, it's just above bearable."

"Well, I'm still not going anywhere."

"You are. Like I said. You're not on the lease. And all I have to do is call the landlord and tell him you're here without my permission and he'll have the cops here." she had gotten a glass of water…although she needed something stronger, and was standing by the sink with it. Her mouth was getting dry. She couldn't take much more of this without breaking.

"You wouldn't really do that to me though. I'm the only man who can give you what you want." he grabbed her by the arm, hard.

"Let go of me, Elliott."

"Or what." he asked for it. She got the other instep, his groin, and threw water in his face. She grabbed her purse and bolted out the door.

She got quickly on the phone with Heather her closest friend who had recently been hired on as a secretary for her clinic.

"Yello." she said, cheerful.

"Two things: can I crash at your place tonight and what kind of phone do you have?" she asked.

"Yes and a Galaxy something, I dunno, but what the fresh hell are you talking about?"

"I'll explain when I get there. I’m on my way to CVS for some essentials. Do you need anything?"

"Sounds like we need wine and ice cream!"

"Already on the list." She thanked Heather and hung up, calling her landlord.

“This’s Sam.” She heard over the receiver.

“Sam, I’m sorry to bother you, but I have a situation at the house.”

“What’s goin’ on?” He asked concerned. She’d never rented from anyone so kind. He’d become almost family. Like an uncle.

“Long story short, pest control. I’m kicking Elliott out and he has until the time I get home from work tomorrow. I told him you’d be there with the cops if he didn’t comply because he’s not on the lease. Is there any way you can help me and make that good?”

“He hurt ya, Shane?”

“Not, umm…not physically.” Although she had been rubbing the place on her arm where he’d grabbed her, certain there would be a bruise.

“That’s all I need to know. I’ve got a buddy or two on the squad here in town. I’m sure they won’t mind to help me out. You need anything?”

She held back the tears until she could hang up. “I’m staying over at a friend’s tonight and headed into CVS now for a few things I didn’t take time to grab after I kneed him in the groin and ran out.” She had just pulled into the parking lot.

“Well I’m nearby if you need anything when you’re back home.”

“Thanks. I guess just watch for smoke from the place for now. I don’t know what he might do, honestly.”

Up Next: Prologue: Onset of Injury (Sy)

#netflix sand castle #sand castle #captain syverson #captain syverson fanfic #captain syverson x ofc #sigh for sy #hes in this chapter in spirit ok

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howardpotts · 4 years

Text

four: buy your pretty heart

Love on the Brain - Masterlist in links

Pairing: MobBoss!Steve Rogers x Reader

Summary: You’re just a student, living her normal daily life in New York. One night changes everything, without you even knowing. Steve Rogers slowly introduces you to his world full of money, drugs and violence. But are you able to handle what he has to offer?

Chapter warning: Uhmm none, i think.

A/N: I haven’t uploaded in a while, but I had some unplanned hiatus. It’s just that a lot has happened privately that made me lose interest in anything. I hope this chapter is any good, since it’s been written in small pieces in the last 3 months.

Let me know what you think! Comments and reblogs are highly appreciated!

You thought you were going to spend your entire day daydreaming about the night before, instead you were thinking over and over about what has happened.

Even when Wanda was gushing to you about that girl and how they spent the entire night dancing, kissing, talking - you had a hard time to keep your thoughts away and your focus on her. She looked tired, just as you. Big bags under her eyes, hair was a little bit more fussy than normal. You tried to cover your tiredness with makeup, which was pretty well done in your opinion.

You were grateful it was friday, meaning that you could focus on other stuff on the weekend. Take your mind of whatever happened today, trying to suppress it til monday; when Steve is going to take you out on dinner and, well, probably fuck you senseless after.

“Lets go shopping after school”, Wanda stated. She had a date on sunday and she knew that you were going to meet with Steve on monday. You told her about yesterday night, but you didn’t dare to tell her what happened this morning. You didn’t want to get her in any kind of trouble.

“Wan, you’re a genius”, you admitted, smirking to her. She claps her hands in excitement, her golden bracelets sounding like bells, making her look even more enthusiastic.

You slumbed out of your class, eyes a little foggy from all the staring to the screen in front of you. The teacher had you noting everything he said on your computer. It couldn’t get any more boring than it already was - and that on a friday afternoon.

“What kind of dress are you looking for?”, you asked Wanda, trying to shake away the boring class. She hooked her arm into yours as you walked through the busy hallways of the school. You both didn’t care to look who was walking around, you just wanted to get out of here and into the city, focussing on way more exciting things.

“I think something laced. Black, maybe? Or would that be a bit too tame?”, she asks you.

“Depends on the dress”, you respond. “A little bit of lace, a shape that makes your figure look like candy and it can serve you well.”

The fresh air gives you new energy when you step outside. It’s pretty cold outside, but for February, it’s actually quite nice.

A call of your name has you looking around. Some guy approaches you. Brown hair, little bit ruffled. You have never seen him in your life. “Steve sent me. He wanted me to give you this.”

A big grin on Wanda’s face, and you fake one too. It isn’t that you don’t like Steve, but at this moment you were a little bit terrified of what could be in the package. You want to , thank the guy, but he’s already walking down the stairs, acting like he never spoke to you.

“Open it, open it!”, Wanda squeals enthusiastically.

Your heart could jump out of your chest when your hand moves to open the package.

There’s a little note on top of it, almost flying out of the box as the wind waves lightly in the box. You grab it quickly and turn it around.

Wear this and nothing else.

Wanda giggles, you blush. A little paper still hides what exactly is in the box but Wanda’s patience is wearing thin and she gets rid of it as quickly as you can blink.

There’s a black jacket in it. On the inside a label saying ‘BALMAIN’.. Wait, that’s designer right? That’s a pretty well known brand. Not that you expected Steve to get you some cheap stuff, but designer? Did he really put that much money into you or did he send this to every other girl, asking it back after wearing it once? Ew, no, he didn’t do that. That’s disgusting.

“BALMAIN?”, Wanda gasps. “You’ve got to be kidding me! Where the hell did you find this guy- Don’t answer that.”

“That’s pretty expensive, right?”, you ask. Her eyes turn big as she watches you.

“Yes, that’s fucking expensive”, she calls, still impressed by the gift in your hands. “And we’re not talking hundreds here, darling. We’re talking thousands. Two, maybe three.”

“Thousand?”

“Thousand!” She throws her hands in the air to give the words even more of a drama effect.

You don’t know what to say. Or do. It’s kind of overwhelming, to be honest. You’ve met the guy not even 24 hours ago, and he already gave you the responsibility to decide a man's fate and now he gave you a jacket worth thousands. You have to admit that it creeps you out. Alarm bells are going off, warning you to cut him out of your life and find a good man. One that will swoon your parents and will probably be better for you than he’ll ever be.

But you’re flattered at the same time. Why would someone like him - a man with charm, looks, grace, money and a lot of female attention - invest money in someone like you? You’re not special in any way. You’re as average as can be. You’re a communications student, living in some apartment with two other roommates because you can’t afford to rent one for your own. You have some kind of barista job in the weekends, trying to earn enough to pay for your rent, food and some fun activities.

“Maybe we should drop this first”, you suggest, looking at the box in your hands.

As you walk, Wanda starts talking about her night. “She was amazing”, she sighs. “I walked up to her and straight up told her how beautiful she looked. Later on she told me she liked that directness, that no one ever does that to her.”

You’re so happy for Wanda. She’s been crushing on this girl for a few weeks now, but never acted on it. Apparently everyone thought that the girl was pretty intimidating.

“Wait, what was her name again?”, you ask, interrupting her story.

“Maria”, she answers quickly before picking up her story again. “Anyway, we started dancing, but I wasn’t sure if she was into women. So I kept my distance, and so did she, so I got more and more insecure. I looked over at you and saw you chatting with some guy. When I looked back, I saw her checking me out. And I’m not talking about girl-ready-to-bitch kind of checking, but the lesbian kind of checking.”

You chuckle. Her stories were always this over the place - but it was fun to listen to. She always knew how to keep you interested, waiting eagerly on how the story is going to end.

“So that kind of felt like my que. Wow, I say a lot of ‘kind of’, don’t I? Anyway, I moved a bit closer, gave her my famous flirty eyes.”

You walk over a crosswalk and turn right after, only two streets away from your apartment.

“Did you kiss?”, you ask, not being able to wait anymore. You need to know.

“Oh honey, we didn’t just kiss. We made out, we did the dirty, we went down town, we-”

“Yeah, okay, I get it”, you laugh. She chuckles and pushes you lightly when you fake roll your eyes.

“Will you see her again?” Her eyes glow up after you ask that question. She nods furiously as she grabs her phone, showing you a few messages. Excitedly, you squeal lightly.

“Thank you a thousand times for joining me last night”, she sighed as she hooked her arm in yours once again. A content feeling settles in you as you walk further. A few seconds of silence between the two of you. Cars pass by, people sometimes almost bump in to you as you walk further down the street.

“And your night had to be pretty exciting as well, right?”, Wanda breaks the silence, wiggling her eyebrows. You nod, a little smirk on your lips.

“God, it was good”, you sigh. You tell your story shortly but swiftly, letting details pass and not mentioning what happened the morning after.

“And more than a one night stand?”, she asks you as you stand in front of your apartment door. You give her a quick look before focussing on letting yourself in.

“I’m not sure”, you say. “I think we just want to booty call each other. And apparently giving me gifts.”

You let yourself in your room and drop the box on your bed. Again you open it, this time taking the jacket out. It turns out to be longer than you thought. He was quite serious about not wearing anything else. The jacket is long enough for you to cover up everything you want to hide from the public. But it also shows enough to seduce him. And he knows that.

“Can you please stay another hour?” Your manager, Sarah, looks at you with her big puppy eyes. “Pretty, pretty please?”

A little smirk is on your face as you roll your eyes. “What would you do without me?”, you say as you put on the brown apron again, after taking it off just a minute ago.

“I would be homeless and a failure. Thank you a thousand times!”, she cheers as she grabs your shoulder to give it a little squish. You smile and walk back into the little cosy cafe. It was pretty crowded, with a little line of five people waiting outside to get a free table.

Slowly you check your half of the cafe, the front half. Your colleague, Brent, watches over the other half and Sarah is behind the bar making the best coffee of the city. She owns the cafe and made it a big success, promoting her selfmade cookies and waffles as her original trademark. And it works. Whenever it isn’t busy, you make small talk with the customers and they always tell you that they’ve heard from someone else that they had to try one of her delicious cookies.

A man puts his hand in the air, making a little gesture to come over. You put on your smile and walk over. “How can I help you?”

“Why don’t you start by giving your number?”, he smirks. “And a cappuccino.”

Your hand balls into a fist, nails digging into your flesh as you watch his smug face. He watches you. Not even your face, but your body. He checks you out.

“Sorry sir, we’re not allowed to give out personal information to our customers”, Brent hops in from behind you. You turn your back to the customer and mouth a little ‘thank you’ to him.

You walk towards Sarah and ask her for the cappuccino the guy asked for. As much as you’d like to not serve him his coffee, you still had to be customer-friendly.

“Why don’t we switch sides ‘til the d-bag over there leaves this place?”, Brent asks when he stands beside you before focussing on Sarah. “Oh and a latte plus a chocolate chip cookie for table fifteen.”

You nod, a little smile appearing on your face. You couldn’t be happier with your colleagues and your boss, they were all so attentive and supportive to each other. There was this atmosphere that made you enjoy the work you were doing. You’ve worked at other places where the ambience was a little bit different.

The cappuccino appears on the counter, not a second later it’s in Brents hands and he walks towards the guy. It wasn’t the first time someone asked for your number - and you wouldn’t be annoyed if he asked about it nicely. But the arrogance on his face and his eyes on your boobs did not make a good first impression.

“And the latte, cookie’s coming right up”, Sarah sighs as she put down the latte. You give her a quick smile. She grabs a small white plate and puts a napkin on it first before grabbing the wobbly cookie.

See, the thing about Sarah’s cookies was that it wasn’t just your ordinary round cookie. It was a bit thicker, but still moist from the inside. It was a little bit warm, the chocolate was on the edge of melting, and the sugar wasn’t as overwhelming as most are. The moment you had your first cookie, you fell in love. You actually had to watch yourself to not overeat, restraining yourself to one cookie a week.

As you walk to table fifteen, you take a quick look at it already. Just swiftly taking in the customer to decide what kind of small talk you can make. Most of the time you could see it in a splitsecond; some were here just to work, some were here for some social acts, and with some you had to guess.

But this one had you by surprise. He made your breath stuck in your throat. How in the living hell did he end up here? Did he stalk you?

“One latte and a chocolate chip”, you say nervously. With a little shake, you put down the latte. “I didn’t expect to run into you here.”

His blue eyes meet yours, making you hot all over. You’re not sure if it’s because of the nerves, because of the things he made you feel or because of the morning you’ve witnessed at his place.

“It’s my regular. I didn’t expect you’d work here”, he countered. You give him a little smirk as you also put down the cookie. “Did Paul give you the package?”

“Yes, he did.” You didn’t know what else to say. To say it’s beautiful? That you like it? That you’ll wear it? That’d be cheesy.

“Good. I hope to see you in it tomorrow”, he smirks as he takes a sip from his latte.

“Maybe I will, maybe I won’t”, you tease as you turn around, moving your hips a little bit more as you walk to your next customer.

Tags: (OPEN)

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#steve rogers x reader #steve rogers fanfiction #steve rogers fanfic #steve rogers #captain america x reader #mobboss!steve #mobboss #mobboss!steve rogers x reader #steve rogers x reader fluff #steve rogers fluff #steve rogers smut #steve rogers au #steve rogers x you #reader x steve rogers #avengers fanfiction #avengers x reader

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luctisonusx · 3 years

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Celebrations || Drabble (Destiny and Lynda Rumancek)

Because this conversation is living rent free in my head and I can’t just not write it. Caleb isn’t IN it, but he is mentioned so fuck it

The sound of a cork popping was one of many indications that something exciting had happened for Lynda Rumancek. The woman was literally fucking glowing as Destiny held the champagne bottle in her ring covered hand.

“YEAH!” Lynda chanted and Destiny couldn’t help but laugh at the woman’s excitement, after all the woman had made a damn good deal with that Oliva Godfrey woman.

“Five thousand dollars?” It still didn’t seem real as Destiny questioned her, but there was no hints of deceit or bull shittery on the older Rumancek’s face.

“Champagne for all my friends.” Lynda gestured with a shit eating grin. Another round of giggles leaving Destiny’s mouth.

“Oh my god, Lynda.” She shook her head a bit as the two women began to move to the living room area where they could sit and be more comfortable. “I hope you know what you’re doing, because these people are not to be fucked with.” Everything in town, minus the name of the damn place, seemed to be plastered with the Godfrey name these days. Now more than ever.

“No one’s fucking anyone.” Lynda explained as she took a seat, “We just both simply have what the other wants. It’s business.” She watched as Destiny began to pour them both a glass of the champagne. She wasn’t scared of Olivia Godfrey or her son.

“Johai, as in the essence of pure bull shit.” Destiny laughed, referencing the little bottles of which Lynda would now sell for the high price of five thousand dollars. Fuck. Destiny still couldn’t believe it. Did Oliva really need them that fucking badly?

“It’s what she wants.” Lynda said with a shake of her head. She didn’t feel sorry one bit for that stupid bitch. They made a toast in Romani and clinked their glasses together. All seemed well in the world. The two women letting out sighs of content.

“I saw Roman’s hand.” Destiny said, seemingly out of nowhere, but really what had happened the other day -- with Roman and Peter and Caleb -- had been on her mind since it had happened. That poor fucking boy being stuck to those two idiots by a fate line of all things.

“Oh I know. I know.” Lynda said, “He hasn’t lifted anything heavier than his pecker since the day he was born.” And that was true, but not what Destiny meant and Lynda knew it. She just wasn’t sure where it was going beyond what Lynda thought she already knew about Roman.

“He’s capable of a lot more.” Destiny had to add. They couldn’t just let their guard down because the Godfrey boy was playing nice. It was easy to get comfortable with those ... those things and then when you least expected it, you were crying in your apartment alone over some piece of shit guy who never loved you to begin with.

“Yeah, but, you know, the only one he’s interested in hurting is himself.” Lynda said with a somber look on her face, remembering how upset Peter and Caleb had been after the five mile walk from castle Godfrey without Roman, “Peter knows that now. He had to find out for himself.”

“That’s the thing.” Destiny said, brows furrowing from slight frustration, “I saw Peter’s palm and that boy Caleb’s too. Their fate lines are literally the same.” Destiny took a sip of her champagne then.

“Well, that certainly complicates what happened yesterday.” Lynda said with a shake of her head and Destiny looked confused.

“Wait, what happened yesterday?” Destiny had barely heard from Peter, but he did seem a bit peeved last she talked to him. She hadn’t wanted to pry though with the risk of being snapped at with his bull shit sassy attitude sometimes. She could only handle the sarcasm so much.

“Peter didn’t say, but it was obvious Roman had abandoned the two of them somewhere. Poor boys had to walk back home. Neither one of them looked happy, but I made sure to fix everything.” Lynda looked pretty damn proud of herself. It was good to know that her baby still felt comfortable coming into her embrace and she felt bad for Caleb, who had watched them hug with an expression that looked like he was on the verge of crying. Perhaps he did that night.

“Shit.” Destiny said without really thinking and Lynda tilted her head at her. “It’s just ... Peter is strong. He can handle whatever that shit head throws at him, but Caleb? He’s on the cusp of a huge transformation and here’s this dick head going willy nilly with his feelings.” It was true. After all he had been through, losing his friend to a vargulf no less, and there was Roman convincing Caleb to do any number of wild things.

“Did you see that in his palm too?” Lynda was joking, but stopped her laughter when she saw Destiny’s face, “You’re serious? Caleb and Roman are -”

“I don’t know what they are, but it doesn’t take a genius to see that whatever it is ... is fifty shades of fucked up.” Destiny cut her off, not even wanting to know what words might come out of the older woman’s mouth.

“Dilo!” Lynda said, exasperated by this information. Caleb surely was a fool to think he could make someone like Roman care about anyone but himself. He was so sweet and kind and Roman was ... far from it. Polite as Roman was, Lynda could see through it just as much as Lynda could.

“You know that I know that falling for an upir is bad news.” Destiny said with a sigh. The memory of her lost love was still prickling at her. Perhaps it was why she hadn’t actually dated anyone since then despite longing for love herself. She wished someone would look at her the way she caught Caleb looking at Roman. That would surely be a dream.

“Damn straight.” Lynda replied and Destiny decided she needed to change the subject. Lynda didn’t blame her either. She knew that it was a cut that was still healing. More time. She just needed more time.

“What about this vargulf?” Destiny asked then. She did think it was stupid that the boys were going after this thing, but then she was also aware that maybe Caleb, at least, didn’t have a choice. Then again, it seemed obvious to her that Caleb knew who the vargulf was.

“Nature will take it’s course.” Lynda said without missing a beat. It seemed like common knowledge, but apparently common knowledge wasn’t so fucking common.

“That’s what I tried to tell your son!” Destiny exclaimed, appalled that even his own mother knew it. Yet she knew Peter couldn’t be reasoned with. He was a good kid and she knew he was only trying to do what was right.

“He has to find out for himself.” Lynda said though she hated the idea of it really. With that and the memory of the previous conversation, she decided to make the conversation a little lighter, “What about you? Are you seeing anybody?” She knew the answer, but also knew Destiny’s reaction would be hilarious.

“So what, we’re telling real scary stories now?” Destiny quipped and both women couldn’t help but laugh -- warming the atmosphere up again where it had gone cold.

“Yes.”

“Yeah right.”

#drabble ;

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knicole0527 · 3 years

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How Did I Fall For Unwritten History?

So I’m in a whole relationship right? Like a whole fat ass relationship. Like me plus her equals nobody else . Its kinda dope and kinda like coccaine . If she was a drug I’d take it . She grounds me . She makes love to my mind , heart , and then my body . Her way of words sometimes makes me feel stupid because she uses words I cant imagine using . My vocabulary aint that big . But ask me about math or science ? I’m definitely ya girl . She was my missing piece . If that makes any sense at all . We definitely have our rollercoasters but I’ll killl anyone over her and I stand on that . Best part its with who I chose and not who my parents chose or approved of. I actually dont care whether they approve of me or not. Mom didnt want kids anyways. As she put it, she likes “ a return to sender kid “ I know she used to joke about it but I later found it to be true. So at this point either you like my happiness or you dont. But anyways, So we met the first time at work, Afni Call Center to be exact. She was a bet. By bet I mean with green money with coworkers. So I bet that I would get smashed by this girl and they would each owe me 50 bucks. I mean who can turn down money. Plus she was kinda cute and I know she was watching my little booty when I would walk away . I was 80 pounds lighter when we first met .

But here lately things have gone to shit . I can admit I fucked up . Well in the beginning . I cheated . She found out . But I was honestly gone tell her everything but she found out I broke her heart all that and then some . Since I put all my business out there . Only reason why I cheated was because I wanted a kid . I wanted her for sure but I wanted a kid . As time passed us by I realized she doesn’t want kids at all . So I had to make a decision , kids or stick around for my one true love in my adult life . So I looked her in the face , I probably had tears In my eyes and told her I chose her . She looked at me with confusion for a little and I dont think she anted me to flat out give up kids. But I was gone doe what I had to do to keep her by my side .

Now before we get to me cheating . I had an apartment on Old Morgantown Road . I loved that damn space man . Hard wood flooring . Storage unit . I had a w/d hook up . I had a good apartment and I could afford it and be able to live my best life . Rent was 475 a month . Utilities and water ran me about 80 . So I was well within my budget . But my dumb ass got involved with this man who I thought I could change . I was trying to hear from nobody about nothing . I wasnt trying to hear that he was cheating because I felt like I gave him no reason to cheat . I was giving him everything and then some . Hell I let his stupid ass cousin stay on my couch . So they were living rent free right , I know stupid Kendra always doing dumb shit . I should have opened my eyes but I didn’t .

Well he and I are definitely no longer together . He got my little cousin pregnant . I dont know whats worse . That she knew he was still living with me . That she knew we was kin . That he knew we was still together , fucking and living together and I never ask for a dollar . Or that my bosses had to call me in the office with another one of my cousins and sit me down to tell and show me that he was cheating and she was pregnant . It even shocked me that she tried to question me about my niggas car . Like girl he and I live together so yes maam I’m gone drive his car . and she was in shock to see me in the drivers seat . huh . Aint that funny how it all played out though ? But you know , karma got took his dick for a minute . He got the worst news of his life . His heart was just as shattered as mine . His trust was screwed if not worse than mine . He found out that while he was too busy cheating on me , she was getting knocked down by his cousin . LMFAO SERIOUSLY . He did all that cheating and got that girl pregnant and ended up getting played himself . So while I was his woman , he had a side bitch who had a side nigga , but THE SIDE NIGGA HAD A SIDE BITCH . I hadnt had sex with him in a while because things started getting to me and I was becoming very suspicious so I was still going to get checked anyways . But yea . What a fckd up love hexagon . Crazy how we all worked together . But when I reached my snapping point . I became a little on the ratchet side and called his mom and told her come get her sons belongings because he was homeless again . My cousin didnt have her own spot so somebody had to come take care of him because by that time I was done pretending .

Shit got bad for me mentally . I had me fckd up . I lost my job and went broke because I drank and popped it away . I know definitely wasn’t the right thing but I just wanted to feel numb to everything . I didnt really care how I got high just as long as I as high I was okay and at peace .

Alot of time went by and my past came back . She made me feel safe . And she saw me ; like the actual me . She knew something was up . Hell I gained 50 pounds since the last time we seen each other . But when she came back . I dont know if I was more so excited to see her or trying to fuck her right there on the floor at work . I walked in the door and the moment I seen her ... I didnt care who I was talking to , I think Wanda , I’m sorry boo but I seen my old boo and just had to do it . I could not help myself I had to hug her before I did anything else . I had a little more weight on me too because during our last encounter , hmm hmm , I was a bit smaller and hadnt grown boobs yet . So when she seen me running 90 mph to her ; baby girl was in for a shock .

Time went by and we started seeing each other a little more outside of work . Then she started to spend the night . But when she started doing that , I think I made things a little complicated for her at her moms . I had no intentions of doing so but it kinda got weird because she wasnt coming home very much any more . But yall , when I had her all to myself . Do you know how many times I undressed this girl with my eyes . I mean she standing there fully clothed and I seen EVERY INCH of her thru them clothes . It was bad yall . lol . She kinda eventually sorda moved in ; even though I thought she had already moved in . Time went by and things were okay ya know . We were just in the “ talking “ phase and just filling each other out . She started to grow on me a little more than I planned . and then I wanna say it was my birthday or after ? Baby girl was so drunk . She , our mutual friend , and I went to go grab food and drinks . Weeellllllll , I trapped her into drinking and drinking and drinking . We got home ? and she drank and and got funnier as the night went on . I remember that day like it was yesterday and the videos I have are absolutely the funniest videos I have ever recorded . “ butt clouds “ and the car honk that about gave her a damn heart attack .

Anywho times have went on . We decided to go to hilltop and live there . Who would have thought we would live together because I was stern on not wanting to live with her . It was weird living there . Always wondering if or when we were going to get a roommate . Then ? Thats the first time I ever broke a heart . See , she was always wanting to like distinguish a title. Meanwhile I am petrified of titles and labels and shit . Plus I have labeled myself for so long I didnt want to put a label on she and I . So I waited and waited and waited and decided to test waters . By testing waters meaning , I caught baby fever BAD . LIKE BAD BAD . I wanted a kid so bad I didnt think about talking to her first , I was just hoping one day I could be like , surprise baby we are having a baby ; butttttt I was gonna tell her how I got pregnant IF if actually happened . But she kinda beat me to it . She seen the messages on her tablet and as you know it went to shit from there . I broke her heart . I wasnt sure if or when she would or could ever forgive me . ( its JAn232021 ) and I know she still hasn’t forgiven me for anything . Not sure if she will ever get past it enough to love me love me .

We made it official , May 2019. By that time the only things that mattered to me were building a life with her. Come August 2020 . We got a place together and as time went on, I knew something was wrong but I would rather ignore it than have to go to the doctor because that just aint my cup of tea. I hate doctors.. they always wanna diagnose people with shit. I just didn’t wanna be one of those people so I held out as long as I could before it got to the point of being unbearable . I lost yet another good job . At first they thought it was covid and it wasnt . I tested negative for covid . Then I had like 5 appointments that following week . I was put on all types of stuff . I was throwing up everything . I was crying non stop . I was doing things not in my normal regimen . Thats when things fell harder on her . Harder as in bills , and stress and everything . I became that burden . I became the thing in the relationship that puts everything on the line . I became the complete failure in the relationship .

I wasn’t able to help like I planned . in fact my checks were so small that every pay day because I had all my bills and people I owed money to on auto pay and I kept making promises, put me in the negatives . I was in the negatives for 3 to 4 months . So imagine being the one in the relationship who didnt feel welcome . Who didnt feel like I deserved the love and things like that . All I wanted to do was help out and I couldn’t . Made me want to pack up and wait until I knew she was gone so I could leave . I didn’t know what to do . But I knew I was pretty much of no use . I knew that she resented me . I knew it pushed things back so far it may never come back to normal .

But now , Im better than I was still struggling though . But I have this amazing job . I have a job where I can do my part and not hurt . I have a job where I can finally help out now . But its not enough . I’m not enough . The love is not enough anymore . I have became disposable . I have become the one who broke and shattered her heart and trust in her adult love life . How do I come back from it ? How do I rescue something that may have already died ? Am I worth it ? Am I better off without ? Do I deserve her ? She deserves the world and I want to give it to her I do .

But idk , maybe my mom was right . just maybe the only things I’m good at are singing and laying on my back . Havent accomplished shit yet . Got banned from a job because I tried to put my hands on someone . Got fired from 3 good fucking jobs because of my health .

Im crashing at this point . My future is on edge . I am on edge . this is not cool dude . But I will play the hand I’m dealt . Maybe I will win and marry the woMAN of my dreams . Or maybe I will just fck it up once again . We Will See .

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amethystgelfling · 5 years

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A Gift

[ First, I initially considered scrapping this entirely because I was so ashamed of it. So I settled for choosing and anonymous name and a random email (that may or may not be a throw away)

Second, I hope the university workload lightens up.

Third, consider this a gift to you and anyone else who finds joy in reading it. It’s far from being a masterpiece and it’s obvious I’m not a trained writer. But this is my way of showing gratitude. For your blog, and for helping me find a Dark Crystal server on Discord.

Thank you. ]

[ Below is an attempt at an Imagine/Ficlet ]

Rian, Mira, and Gurjin on a few days off from guard duty. They spend time at the podling bar, and stay for much longer than intended (since those motherfuckers throw the best parties). Afterwards, they stumble to an inn at Stone-in-the-wood and rent a room. As they enter their lodgings for the night, Gurjin gives the signal that it’s safe to stop pretending they’re sober once the door is shut. The trio collapses onto the floor, in a bubbly mood from all the drinks.

They blabber on about all sorts of topics. With no filter. Rian, bitches about how he doesn’t live up to Ordon’s standards. Mira, starts a conversation where they all bitch about Tolyn, and the other guards with a stick in their ass. Gurjin bitches about third-wheeling with Rian and Mira, getting dragged into their antics, and being the one to make sure they aren’t caught making out. Periodic, slurred outbursts of “I miss my swamp!” leave the other two in fits of laughter.

The night goes on with them jumping from one subject to another; this includes sexual innuendos, arguing about whose alcohol tolerance is highest, and a brief attempt to grasp the meaning of life. During the conversation, Mira and Rian cling to each other, peppering each other with kisses. Gurjin checks his flask, gives a slurred complaint about how it’s empty, and repeats this process because he forgot the first time.

“The barrel of alcohol sprayed in your mouth wasn’t enough?” Rian teased.

“Says the one who got in a drinking contest, with a podling,” Gurjin retorted.

“He challenged ME. And ‘is friends wouldn’t let me back out.”

“My image of the Captain’s son,” Mira paused, posing as if she’d faint. “Is forever shattered.” She failed to conceal her giggles.

“Didn’t I see you dancing on a table?” Rian playfully quipped. “While chugging an ale.”

“Don’t pretend you didn’t join me,” her lips crashed into his.

Succumbing to alcohol-induced lethargy, the trio drags themselves to bed.

Dim light filtered through the window’s thin curtains. Nothing in the room escaped its touch. The beds. The small table and chairs in the corner. The colorful woven rug on the wood floors. Even so, it didn’t rouse the gelfling from their slumber. As Gurjin slept, soft snores escaped him. Rian and Mira cuddled next to him. All were snuggled under the covers. Enveloped in each other’s warmth. Creating a rare time of peace. Quiet.

Rian engaged in a futile battle against the waking world’s pull. Blinking sleep away, he slowly stretched his muscles. He turned to a slumbering Mira. Her blonde locks flowed free from their usual braids; they lustered in the first brother’s radiance. Her skin shimmered as it bathed in the light. His fingers began combing her silken bangs. Absorbing the tranquility of the moment. It was interrupted when his girlfriend suddenly shifted.

“It’s morning love.”

Mira felt Rian kiss the freckles on her nose. She groaned with pleasure as he ran his nails along her scalp. Letting out a slow exhale, she opened her eyes to Rian’s tender smile. She cupped his hand in both of hers. Guiding her lips with slow kisses across his forearm.

She delivered the last kiss on the palm of Rian’s hand. “Satisfied.”

Rian placed his hand on Mira’s breast. “Not yet,” his smile took on a devilish aura.

Mira stroked his soft chocolate-brown locks with one hand; his ear with the other. The lover’s gazes locked. “There’s a catch,” she hummed. “Tonight,” she caught Rian off guard, tightly gripping his shirt. Her voice gained a mischevious air. “You give me what I want. As I see fit.” She positioned herself on top of Rian. Her sudden movements jostled Gurjin awake.

The Drenchen groaned whilst lifting his head to survey the room. “What the-” he rolled onto his right side. His eyes widened at the sight of his friends. Rian was on his back; Mira straddled him. He sighed. “There’s a reason I rented a room with two beds, you know,” the exasperation kicked in once he sat up. “Let me guess, you were about to rip each others clothes-”

“GURJIN!” Mira reached over in an attempt to cover his mouth. He easily blocked her hand. “We don’t want anyone to-”

“If you were really going to do THAT, you could’ve asked me to get another one!” he rolled his eyes. “I’ve ‘ad it up to here with you lovebirds and your-”

Several knocks on the door interrupted their conversation.

“Just ignore it,” Rian whispered. Him and Mira now hid behind the bed. Peeking their heads out like children playing hide and seek.

Gurjin reluctantly left the warmth of the covers. He grabbed his flask from the nightstand, running his hand through his dreadlocks.

“It’s empty remember,” Mira said in a softened tone.

“Unfortunately it is,” Gurjin didn’t bother looking at her.

He cracked the door open. An older female gelfling stood on the other side. The green of her flowing nightgown matched her eyes; combined with her dark-auburn hair, she appeared as an aging tree.

“Would you mind keeping it down,” she huffed. “It sounds like noisy childlings in there.”

Gurjin grinned, “Funny you say that.” He turned his head to Rian and Mira. “I have two childlings with me right now.” He went back to facing the auburn haired woman.

“Just quiet them down,” she replied. “It’s still too early for- wait.”

“Hm.”

“Is that a flask?”

“What of it?” Gurjin didn’t like where this was going.

The auburn-haired woman crossed her arms. “I hope you don’t drink while watching your kids.”

“Actually,” he smirked. “There’s nothing like a drink or two settle 'em down.” He winked. “It works wonders at bedtime.”

The woman widened her eyes, then appeared to decide the matter wasn’t worth persuing. She turned away from Gurjin and headed to her room.

“Childlings?” Rian exclaimed as Gurjin shut the door. Mira sat cross-legged on the floor.

“At least we didn’t run into Tolyn at the bar,” Mira cut in. “Or another castle guard.”

“We wouldn’t hear the end of it,” Rian concurred. “They’re always so uptight.”

“Just get a few pints in them,” Gurjin placed his flask on the nightstand. “At least Tolyn wouldn’t be so insufferable.” He flopped onto the bed.

Mira snorted, “Imagine that.”

“Yeah,” Rian replied. “Besides,” he stood up and stretched. “I wouldn’t worry about running into the others. They’re not the type for fun.”

“That reminds me,” Gurjin grabbed a small, brown bag from beside the night stand. “I snuck some these from the castle yesterday.” He opened the bag, so Rian and Mira could see inside. Immediately they beamed. “For later.”

Mira’s lips formed to a pout.

“You’re being cruel to us,” Rian amped up the drama in his voice.

Gurjin smirked. “You’ll live,” he pat their heads like they were childlings. After putting the bag in its orginal place, he lay down with his arms behind his head.

Rian let out a massive yawn. He took the space at his best friends left side. Mira climbed in the bed from the right side.

“There’s a another bed. In case you lovebirds forgot.”

“This is fine,” Rian rested his head on Gurjin’s chest. Mira followed suit.

“So I’m everyone’s body pillow now?” He exhaled and rolled his eyes. Mira hummed in agreement. Rian gave a thumbs up.

“You’re so comfortable,” Mira yawned as she spoke.

“Like a,” Rian stopped for a moment. “A living furnace.”

“Wonderful,” the Drenchen accepted his fate. “Wait, sit tight you two.” He eased his friends off of him.

“What was that for-” Mira stopped herself when she saw him return with extra blankets from the second bed. They had been sitting there, neatly folded when the trio first arrived. Taking advantage of the extra warmth, they resumed their positions in the bed.

“Am I really that warm?”

Rian and Mira hummed in agreement. Surprisingly, Gurjin didn’t find himself bothered by the weight on his chest. He found it, welcoming. And the warmth inside him grew.

“Guess I’ve found my true calling in life, eh.” A massive yawn escaped him. “Alright then.” Gurjin wrapped his arms protectively around his friends. “We still have tomorrow off. A little more rest won’t hurt.” The Drenchen’s head hit the pillows, allowing himself to leave the waking world once more.

Under the soft blankets, Rian and Mira listened to Gurjin’s breathing slow. Heard his snores. Felt his heartbeat.

Rian reached over, with the hand not trapped under Gurjin, to stroke Mira’s hair. “Wouldn’t mind if this never ended.” His heart fluttered at her beauty in the morning light. His eyelids grew heavy.

“Mhm,” Mira took her boyfriend’s free hand in her own. She held it until he succumbed to his exhaustion. And caressed his face while he slept.

A sudden tightness encased her chest. She took a deep breath to calm herself. To no avail. Of course, all these feelings chose to come now. Tears fell, soaking the fabric of Gurjin’s shirt. She took Rian’s hand; holding it to her lips; she planted several kisses on it.

“I…” her soft voice shook. For the tears wouldn’t stop escaping. “I love you both.”

She smiled, through her eyes still watered. “Don’t ever leave, okay.” She wiped her tears once they ceased. Luckily, that little breakdown didn’t wake them.

Mira exhaled in relief. Closing her eyes to join her friends in the unconscious realm. Not before silently praying. Praying herself, Rian and Gurjin stayed in each others lives. Until their time came.

To rejoin the Song of Thra.

#THIS HAS BROUGHT ME TO TEARS #thank you SO much to the poster im sobbing #Rian #Mira #Gurjin #Vapra #Stonewood #Drenchen #Gelfling #The Dark Crystal #The Dark Crystal: Age of Resistance #tdc #tdc aor #the dark crystal age of resistance #submission

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whattoreadinsteadofdrinking · 5 years

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long cathartic list

*spring break was very difficult. Too much free time, and the time I spent with people, was mostly with people or in situations I find difficult

*I knew exactly what I was doing in going into those situations but felt like I Had To Say Yes to the people who asked me to hang out because I had a week off and felt bad telling people, essentially, “even though I don’t have to work for 11 days and am literally doing nothing important, I don’t want to spend any of that free time with you”

*So, learned some important things about myself and setting boundaries. We will chalk it up to a learning experience

*Lately feeling a lot of weight/bitterness/distaste for living in this city. I love it here theoretically. Functionally I am cursing under my breath a lot lately

*For example, today some guy gave me the finger for not driving fast enough (read: 20 miles over the posted speed limit approaching an intersection where I KNOW there’s cops because I’ve gotten a ticket before) and then as soon as he sped around me and went around, waving his middle finger at me the entire time, another man pulled up next to me at the stop sign, rolled down his window, and screamed at me that I’m a bitch (Why?? I assume for going only ten miles over the speed limit instead of more? Maybe because I am a woman and that’s enough reason?? Who knows)

*So that’s fun

*Then I got home, parked my car, and talked on the phone with my sister for a bit in the car. A guy in a truck pulls up to the alley way leading behind our house, strolls casually into the back yard, collects a ziploc of white powder from a hidden spot, gets back to his truck, sees me staring at him/staring at his license plate, makes direct prolonged eye contact with me, and drives away. SO. Cool. Cool cool cool cool cool. That’s great. That’s just what I need

*Stuff like this is happening a lot lately. The houses on either side of my house (rowhomes, for context) are both empty. A property manager bought them, evicted the tenants, and is planning on refurbishing them to rent out. But until he actually does that, it’s two empty houses, making my house one of two occupied homes on our entire side of the block. This means very few witnesses to potential crime, so people are flagrantly selling drugs and breaking into houses to do drugs/hide drugs/do whatevs.

*Yesterday I had to call 911 because someone was breaking in next door in the back door that leads to the alley. Which means someone was three feet from OUR backdoor, breaking in next door. 911 asked me if I could give them a description of who was doing it and I explained that I was home alone, it was dark, and our windows that could see to that door were literally feet away from the door itself, so I didn’t fancy sticking my head out and making eye contact with someone breaking in RIGHT THAT MOMENT. 911 said “okay, we’ll send someone out as soon as possible” and the cops never came. That has happened three times now. Makes me feel super safe. If people ever decide to break into our house, will the cops come then? Is safety just an illusion we use to keep ourselves from losing our goddamn minds?

*The refugee that I am tutoring in English, who is a full decade younger than me, is unrequitingly in love with me. It puts my two harshest character flaws up against each other: my desire to avoid conflict even when it would lead to a healthier situation/relationship VS. my hatred of men not taking “no” for an answer the first time. This is made harder with the language and cultural barriers. I desire to navigate this situation with grace and understanding while still being firm about it being inappropriate to continue in giving me this type of unwanted attention. I should pray about it because God knows I do not have the wisdom to do this very well.

*I am having full panic attacks again where I can’t breathe and begin to spiral into thoughts like “I’ll never be able to breathe normally ever again” or, in the last two nights, thinking “I will never sleep again. My body is broken for sleep. I can’t do it” and just spiraling from there. I haven’t had a panic attack since October, and before that, not for years. So. Time to go back to therapy!

*Maybe the panic attacks were just a way of my body telling me I should be in therapy for all that’s happened in the last year anyway because since browsing for therapists earlier today, I feel markedly better. Not good, not even okay. But better

*I went to Target after Spanish and bought new summer bedding (my bedding is a really heavy quilt that I never can use when it gets hot here anyway) and changed the sheets on my bed and with the new comforter, it looks like an entirely new bed. I am sitting in it now, typing this, and it feels like a new bed. I am hopeful that changing how my bed looks will help me move past the insomnia/panic surrounding sleep the last couple nights and this week in general. Sometimes really simple things can make a big difference

*I didn’t drink today after class, despite anxiety, and I am grateful. There was alcohol in the house and I threw it out.

*I realize that I rarely write positive things on this blog. I am sorry for that. It is more or less my dumping ground for processing things. I do have positive aspects of life and I do enjoy many many things, I just write about those things in my paper journal, not online.

*Tomorrow I will post something positive as a way of giving thanks for the fact that life is complex and strange and beautiful and not only bad, even though it feels only bad right now.

*This bedding is luxurious af despite being super cheap and I am so happy I made this purchase

*I am going to try to sleep and if I don’t, that’s okay. I’ll listen to music and enjoy that and when my body needs to sleep, it finally will.

* thanks for reading!

#long post #mental health #Insomnia

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xingminded · 6 years

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» Just a Kiss [a DIFTL bonus]

part 18 << Just a Kiss >> part 19.

[This is a bonus scenario for the DIFTL Text Au] [Masterlist Here] [Length: 3.6k] [I wanted to write a drabble but lol, 3k words] [Leave Comments I don’t know what I’m doing and I crave validation] [Warning: Mention of past abusive relationship]

The day is already turning dark when I barge into Namjoon’s place, pretty tones of purple and pink dissolving into a star spotted sky. The door makes a loud bang when I open it, and I can hear Seokjin’s loud scream even before I see him by his boyfriend on the sofa. Namjoon himself barely acknowledges me, hand waving half-heartedly as a welcome. He’s already used to my loud steps and violent coming and going, since I have my own keys and weird visiting habits.

Learning my best friend is not alone does put a dent in my courage, but thinking about Jimin's sad pout urges me on. If I want my boyfriend to be happy and stress free, I'll just have to talk to both of them at once.

“They’re good news”, I reason to myself, “there’s no reason for panic”. But that positive mindset flies out the window when I step into the living room. Not only Jin is over, but Yoongi is also present, sitting beside the couple with a sour expression.

Now, even though bored is Yoongi’s default mood, I can’t really blame him these days; Namjoon and Jin have been attached at the hip since they began dating. They are still in the honeymoon stage, and it makes things harder to the rappers usual hangouts. I believe that’s why when he sees me, Yoongi just rolls his eyes at the pair and flashes his big gummy smile at me. It's so out of nowhere you'd think I came in carrying puppies or something.

I throw myself carelessly on the sofa, forcing my friends to accommodate the new body between them. Namjoon’s arm naturally involve me by the shoulder as Yoongi’s circle my waist and I sigh. Once I'm sandwiched between my best friends, the whole tension accumulated in my body melts away.

“Stop laying over other people's boyfriend, Y/N”, Jin pouts from the other side of Namjoon. His hands are busy playing with the younger tanned fingers, but I know his eyes are on me.

I just wiggle between them some more in response, head sinking into my best friend’s shoulder. As Jin’s loud voices starts a new whine, Yoongi pinches me to a stop, his glare a warning.

“Stop that, the couch isn’t big enough for your squealing”.

“What do you want space for? You should embrace your friends more, Yoongs”.

The boy sighs, tired, and Namjoon coughs out a laugh.

“She’s not wrong, hyung. You never give us any love”.

“What do you want my love for, you have a boyfriend right there. Hyung, do something, help a guy out here”.

Jin just grins and his dashing, incredible smile blinds us for a moment.

“You and I know it’s not the same. You’re brothers”.

“Yeah, we’re one big happy family”, he teases, but I don’t mind him.

“Why wouldn’t you wanna cuddle your cute baby sister?”, I blink big eyes at him, but both of my friends scoff at me.

“You’re not as much of a cute baby as you think you are, Y/N”, Joon attacks.

“Or of a sister”, Yoongi completes, and I make a big show of playing hurt, hands against my heart and everything.

“Woah. And I thought this friendship was forever”.

Yoongi rolls his eyes, and Joon bumps his shoulder against me, playful.

“At least I have Jimin now”, I add nonchalantly.

There’s a whole two seconds pause in our conversation, and then they are all speaking at once.

“I KNEW IT! You are both terrible at secrets. Jimin’s been walking around with literal hearts on his eyes, it's ridiculous. I knew something finally happened”, Jin screeches.

“That’s not the correct use of literal”, Namjoon cuts, but he has a soft smile all over his face. And then he turns to me, eyes inquiring: “Since when is this happening? And right under my nose too”.

“Park Jimin? Seriously?” is Yoongi’s incredulous comment. His arm leaves my waist as both his hands go to his temples, fingers massaging it with precision.

I just chuckle, face flushed and body restless. This is when they say this is a bad idea, right? This is when they say that I’m being dumb for trusting a guy with a reputation like the one Jimin has. That I’m putting myself up for suffering for doing this again.

“I thought you hated guys like him”, Yoongi mutters, confirming my thoughts. I shrink beside him, legs coming over so I can hug them.

“He’s not like I thought he’d be. I know we started on the wrong foot with the whole frat party fail and all, but... when I reached over for the whole Jin and Joon thing, he was up for it. And a guy who accepts to date someone who hates him, even if it’s fake, just to try and get his friend together with his crush can’t be all bad, right? And then whenever we were together he was just... this really caring, sweet, fun to be around guy-friend. He ended up not being bad at all. I mean, he flirts a lot, he's jealous of everything, and he's used literally ever excuse in the book to hold my hands or hug me close but... He just won me over being Jimin, I guess”, I finish with a small smile.

“I called it, she’s in loooove”, Jin sing-songs, like he’s not the oldest of us all.

“Shut up, oppa”, but there’s no real bite to my voice.

“Since when?” Namjoon asks again, suspiciously over invested in this detail.

“A month and a half, give it or take”.

“HA!”, Jin cheers, poking his boyfriend with a maniac smile. “I told you the party would do it, pay up, loser!”.

“Did you guys seriously bet we’d get together?”.

“Nah, we bet on how long you’ve been hiding”, Jin corrects me, shameless.

“Oh, c’mon, we can’t have been that obvious”.

“You were, sweetie”, Jin says, and his eyes are soft now. “I’m telling you, Jimin has been ridiculous. Hobi can’t stand him around the studio anymore. Says he keeps singing love songs and disturbing the practices”.

“I'm going to kill him”, I mutter, and Jin coos, pinching my cheeks. I can physically feel the blood flushing up and setting my skin of fire.

“I mean, he did jump out your bedroom window yesterday morning”, Namjoon completes.

If my face felt hot before, now I could easily fry an egg on my face, no problems.

“You saw that? Why didn’t you say anything??”

“Y/N, Jimin was half naked while jumping out of a window. You guys were clearly working hard at hiding it. I figured you’d tell me when you were ready. And you did”.

“I’m so embarrassed. But that was really sweet of you, Joon, waiting for me to put my thoughts in place. Thank you so much”.

“Yeah, bitch, you should thank me! Hyung has been impossible with the ‘I told you so’s”, he complained, and I couldn’t help but laugh, my body doubling over. So much for a sweet moment.

“But I did tell so! So many times too! I said Y/N should give him a chance, that he was serious about this, that she should listen to her dumb little heart! I’m basically the catalyzer of this relationship. I have the right to feel like a proud parent”.

“Yeah, I’m pretty sure Jimin did most of the work. You have to give him kudos for not giving up on us, even if I’m an indecisive insecure mess”.

“Yeah, if he’s putting up with you, he’s really something else”, Namjoon mocks. “But let it be known that if he mess things up again, I’m going to... do something bad. To him. Yeah”.

“That’s cute, but you’re a teddy bear, Joonie”.

“I could be hiding an angry beast, you never know. He’s better off not trying funny shit like hurting you”.

“I'm pretty sure I could punch your teeth out, Kim Namjoon, but thank you, I guess”.

“You can’t even reach my neck, Y/N, I’m not worried about your threats”.

Namjoon yelps when I pinch him in retaliation and Jin cackles at our antics, but I’m feeling really content. Despite all my fears, the little time Jimin and I were together was nothing short of bliss. He showers me in love and kisses and so much adoration, I am happy my friends finally know about it too, so I can do the same. Honestly, now that I’ve told them (and they are teasing me about it), it feels like a huge weight has been lifted from my chest. This is right. And even if it’s not, they got my back.

I recline on the sofa, half laying all over Namjoon, and he taps my forehead fondly, silent question in his eyes. I smile up at him so that he knows I’m fine. I’ve been scared for so long my friends got over zealous, and I love them for caring so much.

“Where did Yoongs run to?”, I ask, stretching my legs to make use of the sudden free space beside me.

Namjoon shrugs, “Maybe he left while you were threatening me. God knows you two just come and go like you live here. You two should pay rent”.

“You literally barged into my place yesterday at seven in the morning. My boyfriend had to leave through the window, half dressed. Shut up”.

“Okay, so maybe you don’t need to pay. BUT YOU STILL HAVE TO, HYUNG!”, he screams towards the corridor, and I roll my eyes. Yoongi never responds.

“Do you think he died?”, Jin asks from the other side of the sofa where he’s also leaning over Joonie. We’re lucky he’s so unnecessarily big so there’s quite a bit of Namjoon to everyone.

“I’ll check on him, I guess. I have to leave anyway, I promised Jimbo I’d go over to his tonight”.

“Uh, look at her, staying over at her boyfriend’s”.

“And to think last month she was literally running away from him on the streets”, Namjoon adds. I flick his forehead in retaliation before I leave, and he's still complaining when I get to the door. The couple scream their goodbyes as I lock behind me.

I find Yoongi at the small playground right outside Namjoon’s building, swaying slowly in the rusty swing set. I sit by him, giggling when I push it a little and the whole thing shakes.

“You look really emo sitting here alone, Yoongs”, I say as opening.

His response is an automatic “And your fat ass is going to break the freaking playground, Y/N”, but his tone is weak.

“You okay? You didn’t say goodbye to us”.

He only looks at me and sighs, and I’m confused by his sudden gloomy mood.

“‘m fine. Just thinking”.

“Nah. I know your normal thinking face. This one”, I say, poking my finger between his brows, and his face softens a little “ looks like sad thinking. Bad thinking”.

“You know me well, uh?”.

“It’s a gift and a pain”, I agree. He gives me a small smile, but it’s gone as fast as it appears. “What happened, Yoongs?”

“You, I guess”.

“I happened? Am I bothering you? Was the whole couple thing too much for you?”, I ask, bumping my swing chair against his lightly. Yoongi isn’t high maintenance, but if his two best friends are suddenly dating, he could feel left behind. And he’s not the biggest fan of couples and romance on the daily, anyway.

“Nah, I saw it coming. Granted, I didn’t think you’d go for frat boys again. Specially not after the shit Jinhoo pulled on you last time”, his voice is bitter and the words hurt.

Yoongi knows not to talk about my ex, worst even about that night I can barely remember. The abusive dirtbag’s name alone trigger bad memories and I don’t want to relive them right now - nor ever.

“Don’t. Please, don’t - Don’t even mention him”, I plead, and his hand squeezes my leg in atonement. The motion is soothing, comforting, but I still wish he'd stayed quiet.

“Sorry. I just knew you would be swept away sooner or later, but I didn’t see Park Jimin doing it, I guess”.

“I know it’s a little surprising, since we were screaming at each other daily a couple of months ago, but Jimin is not a bad guy. A little too coy, maybe, but I really like him and got tired of pretending I don’t. Especially since he didn’t let me get away with it anyway”.

“Insisting paid well for him then”.

“Or maybe he just got himself a time bomb”, I whisper and Yoongi glares at me. I cower a little.

“You are fucking incredible, Y/N. You’re beautiful, funny, loyal as heck and you give everything to make whoever you love happy. You got together with a guy you hated to get Joon a boyfriend, fuck’s sake”.

“But you said it yourself, Yoongs, and you’re right about it: Jinhoo made a number on me. I can’t even accept love without getting scared I'm being used again. I keep hurting people while trying to defend myself, I keep doubting everyone”.

Yoongi pulls my little chair over to his own, the rusty chains of the swing rattling at the brusque movement. I can feel his breath over my face and his eyes are raging and I’ve rarely seen him so upset.

“You’re the strongest girl I know, Y/N. What that shitbag did to you leaves marks. No one is blaming you for protecting yourself. You’re not a bomb for trying to recover an abusive past. Stop saying that. Park’s lucky to have you, if anything”.

“But”, I try, and Yoongi forces my lips to a pout, silencing me.

“No. You’re amazing. You’ve put yourself together after someone you loved broke your trust. I’m sorry I even brought him up, you know I get dumb when I’m worked over”, he finishes softly, and his grip loses force. Both of his hands rest by my face now, and an eerie silence looms over us.

“Are you sure you okay, Yoongi? Because you’re not letting go of my face and it’s getting really weird”, I say, trying to lighten up our conversation. This was supposed to be a good moment with my friends, a small celebration of my no longer dead heart. I don’t want to ruin the night talking about my ex. I only wanted to talk about Jimin.

“I just need a moment”, he murmurs, but he barely waits one before he leans over. His usually sleepy eyes are wide open, cataloging my every reaction as he comes closer. His lips touch mine gently, carefully, like he knows I’m about to flee his grasp. But I freeze, my brain short circuited for an entire second, because Yoongi is kissing me. Yoongi, my best friend, who’s been walking hand in hand with me and Namjoon for almost as long as I can remember. Yoongi who knows all my fears, all my faults, all my traumas.

He moves softly, seeking more, and then the situation downs on me and I push him away like I’ve been electrocuted. My hands cover my lips and my eyes water and I can only look at him horrified, because how could he?

“Y/N, no, wait”, he begins as I step away from him, bolting from the swing set as fast as my legs can take me.

“What do you think you’re doing? I’ve just… I just told you about Jimin. I’m dating Jimin. I’m happy, I’m finally trusting someone again and you…”, my voice fades.

His eyes are large and panicky and he’s trying to reach me, arms outstretched, fingers grasping at my sweater. I move away, farther from him and his pleading gaze.

“I just... I’ve been in love with you for so long, Y/N, and I”, the words have barely left his lips but I take another step back, like I’ve been slapped.

“Since when?”

“Way before the shitbag even happened. But the timing was never right. You were dating that Lee kid when we moved here, and when you guys broke up I tried giving you time, but then... you started seeing Jinhoon right before I decided to say something and we know how that ended. You were in no place for me to say anything after that. And now again… I guess I waited too long”.

“Lee... Minhyun? That was years ago, Yoongi”.

“I know, I know. Maybe I was a coward and hid behind giving you time. I was always so afraid I’d mess up and lose you completely”.

“And then you got tired and decided to fuck it up intentionally?”

“No, God, Y/N, I… You’re in love with Park freaking Jimin. You can’t see it, but your whole face light up when you talk about him. You guys just begun seeing each other and your eyes are already shining so much and… You’re so happy. I got angry that I lost you again”.

“So you kissed me? Are you trying to get back at me for…?”, he cuts me off, his words fast and worried and desperate.

“No! I’d never be angry at you for being happy. All that I want is for you to be happy. But I’m a loser, a coward and I don’t have any right, but I needed that one kiss. I’ve always needed it, needed you. And I wanted to taste, at least for one second, what it's like to have you. So I can finally try and leave these feelings behind and support you”.

I’m static after he speaks, the tears streaming down my face the only sign I'm still listening. His breath comes out in heavy puffs, like he ran a mile trying to catch ume. It fits, somehow, because the distance between us have never been so big. And maybe there's only a couple of feet separating us on the pavement, but the gap still feels uncommon, final. It doesn’t feel like it can shorten again. He’s my best friend and he just ruined the safety I felt around him to steal from me whatever he wanted. Whatever he needed.

“It was so hard for me to give into this thing with Jimin. To trust him not to hurt me. And you… You just made me hurt him. For a kiss? Because you wanted? Because you needed it? You’re just being egoist”.

“I know. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry”, he begs, timid steps trying to get closer again. My own feet mimic his movements, and the distance never lessens. “Please, stop moving away. Don’t leave me”.

“I need this space, Yoongi. I can’t trust myself not to slap you right across the face right now”, I tell him, and his face is anguished.

“Do it. Scream at me or something. Just don’t go away. That’s the only thing I never wanted”.

“You should have thought of that before. You were safe and now you aren’t. I’m feeling betrayed. And I don’t want to be here anymore, I want to go home and eat ice cream. I need to think. I need to figure out how I’m telling Jimin one of my best friends just confessed to me after I told him I was dating someone else. And then he kissed me. Not necessarily in that order, too”.

“Let me at least take you home. You look a mess, you shouldn’t be walking home alone like this”.

“And whose fault is that?”, my voice spikes up as my hands nervously clean the tear tracks all over my cheeks. I can feel my self control slipping and I hate it, I hate this situation.

“It was just a kiss. It was impulsive and dumb and I’m sorry”, he apologizes, trying to get closer, arms once again outstretched. I walk away from him, like he’s a stranger. Right now, he pretty much feels like one.

“I don’t care about the kiss. It was my trust you broke, Yoongi. You just did the same as Jinhoon back then".

"I would never", he seethes, but I don't even register his anger.

"You knew I trusted you, and you took advantage of it. What you took, it doesn't matter". He tries to speak again but I interrupt him, already exhausted from this conversation. “I’ll be fine, I’ll just go back to Joon’s now and cry a little more, maybe. But you should leave. I don’t want to see you right now”.

“I guess that’s fair. But we’ll talk again later, yeah? We’ll figure this out”.

“There’s nothing to figure out, Yoongi. You fucked up and now I have to make it right. In my head, with Jimin. What remains here comes later”.

“I am really sorry I acted on my dumb impulses and hurt you. I never wanted to hurt you”, he says, voice low, but I’m not looking at him to see how his expression look like. I can’t. “I’ll see you later, okay?”.

I don’t say anything. We stay there for a minute, both silent, eyes not meeting. And then he leaves, without waiting anymore for any response. His steps are slow and uneven as he walks towards the end of the street. I do the same, my head light from the crying, my heart heavy from the mess. I walk back towards the building I just came away from. And I don’t look back.

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demonsurveys · 4 years

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#24

How many hours has it been since you woke up? 14 but I had a nap for an hour during the day so not sure if that counts.

Who was the last female you hung out with? My mum and will be the only woman I hang out with the foreseeable future.

How many keys are on your key chain? What do they go to? Just one. My front door.

What were you doing the last time 7pm rolled around? I was on a walk with my mum. Abiding to the rules, of course.

Have you ever taken a pregnancy test? No

Does your ex still think about you? I’m going to say yes because it’s still so raw and fresh. We spoke last night as I didn’t really get closure properly the last time we spoke but now I feel a bit more okay. Check back with me in a few days where I’m sobbing again.

What is something that always makes you feel pretty? Blow drying my hair.

What’s your favourite instrument? Guitar

Do you want to get married? Sure but obviously not right now.

Is Catcher in the Rye in your library by any chance? No

Does the thought of moving out from home scare you? No, I’ve done it before. I lived away from home for three years before moving back. Ideally by this time next year I’d like to have moved out again but I don’t think that’s realistic.

Would you rather live in a mansion or a small cosy home? Small cosy home, definitely. A big mansion would feel lonely to me.

Do you find smoking unattractive? No but I don’t find it attractive either.

How old will you be in 3 birthdays? 24

Do you think you’ll be married by then? Doubt it

When is the next time you’re going on vacation? Fuck knows.

How many drugs are in your system? None

If you were offered to smoke some weed right now, would you accept? The only people offering me weed right now would be my parents and brother which would definitely confuse me but I wouldn’t object.

If you have siblings, which one of you is going to be married first? I’m not sure.

Do you think you’ll have a Valentine this year? I did but doubt I will have one next year.

Do you get your eyebrows waxed, or do you pluck them? Pluck them.

Do you smoke weed? Not on a frequent basis but I have done before and would do again, yes.

Do you know anyone who lives in the state of California? No

Honestly, who is the last person to tell you that they love you? My mum, I think.

How old will you be on your next birthday? 22. Can’t wait to feel happy, free, confused and lonely at the same time.

What are you doing for it? Not sure but if we’re still social distancing then I at least want a takeaway and to get drunk.

Would you ever try being a vegetarian? I am a vegetarian. Have been since birth.

Do you have any tattoos at the moment? No

What about piercings? Yes.

Is sex on you mind more than 3 times a day? Depends on the day. Today, yes. Yesterday, yes. The day before, probably. Okay maybe it is most days.

Do you and your last ex hate each other? I don’t think so. I can’t speak for her but I don’t hate her.

Do you believe your most recent ex thinks about you? I swear I answered this in a previous survey so I don’t want to go into it but the likelihood is probably.

Have you ever made out for more than a half hour straight? I don’t think so

Does it matter if your boyfriend/girlfriend smokes? No

Are you currently renting out your own apartment? No

Do you currently have a job? No

Do you remember who you had feelings for December 2009? I know who I pretended to have feelings for. Compulsory heterosexuality is a bitch.

Are you wearing make up? Just my eyebrows

Are you pregnant? The scientific possibility of that is absolutely zero.

Have you taken anyone’s virginity? No

Who slept in your bed with you last night? Me, myself and I

Do you have a condom in your room? No

Have you had sex in the past three weeks? No.

Will you be single over winter? I was single for three years in between my two relationships so probably will be single.

Do you know anyone who is doing drugs too much? Yes

#survey #surveys

0 notes

birdysnow · 7 years

Note

Who is your favorite OC? Pls share their backstory I must know👀

to be honest it’s totally Devon. I’ve had him sinceee about the 6th grade, and he’s been concrete since about 7th grade (I’m almost a junior!). He’s so important to me :’). Whenever I feel sad I just work on him or write about him and it cheers me up real fast.

haha his backstory is a loooong, complicated mess. I literally went on an 1.5-2 hour rant about his backstory at a sleepover once, it was ridiculous how long it took for me to talk about him. I actually wrote a response for this ask yesterday, but it got deleted I hate my life. It was soooo long because I wrote it in the way I speak. You’re probably getting a lot more than you bargained for :’). I’ll put it below the cut so everyone else doesn’t suffer.

im gonna use bullet points bc i like them and theyre shorter

note: universe is like. sci-fi. there’s space stuff you know

full name: Devon Mateo Westmore

born: August 16th

a leo!!! do with that what you will

as far as parents go, they’re kinda dicks basically

Devon was a complete accident and he’s kind of treated as such

they’re pretty neglectful?? they really dont give a crap abt him frankly

they’re more interested in making bank with their jobs and turning up

has a sister who’s like graduating or smthn. she’s old. her name’s Lucía.

she also could give less than a crap about him and had a similar experience with their parents; just wants to be free and have no attachment to this rando baby

is a total Problem Child™ during school because of his messy life, just wants attention and love really but never really gets it

universally hated by teachers all his life

high school is especially rough he is a disaster

he’s basically like party all day every day bitches bc is parents are never home/probably wouldnt reprimand him for going out anyways

he drinks a lot, does drugs

he bangs a lot of people irresponsibly. A LOT of people.

is a player tbh he will flirt with anyone. very pansexual.

makes a lot of (bad) friends 2 fill the Void™ and does a lot of illegal things

anyway fast forward to when he’s like 17-18 and school’s like yep time to graduate!! and hes basically like

but he does graduate in order for the story to move forward

but now he’s like careers????????

all he’s kind of enjoyed is music throughout high school but he’s like thats not what i want to do.

yolo, he probably says to himself one day. I’ll just join the military and become a space pilot because thats what I wanted to do when i was 8

so BASICALLY i haven’t figured out how I want this space military to work but he ends up in like an academy (he’s like around 19ish) or smthn

this is where he starts to like chill tf out tbh

he discovers that he likes this a lot?? and he’s like dedicated to it???

a lot of like. coping happens and he has to figure out what kind of person he wants to be and recover™ himself

but yah he does well and he ends up being valedictorian nice going m8

basically if you’re #1 in your class you get the opportunity to go to this like. school/training thingy. and it’s very exclusive but if you like graduate from their you’re like. set

its like harvard except you could die there

yolo, he thinks in yet another life decision he really shouldn’t be taking lightly. I want $$$$ so i’m about to make that place my bitch

he does not make that place his bitch

he suffers so much

by the end of the year/2 years he’s there, he does pretty well

He makes a bunch of good friends, and he gets a ton of experience. he’s really good because of it, as to be expected

while there the top of the class is this girl and her name is Adella

shes my daughter

Devon likes her but she’s like super stand-offish and he’s a party kid so he’s like

“hard pass.”

but he has like mad respect and he thinks she’s chill

the feelings mutual

anyways like RIGHT before they graduate she gets recruited to this special program because she’s top of the class and like disappears he never sees her again

sike

but not for a while at least……………

so like fast forward he’s like 23 maybe

he’s got a good job, he’s living it up really?? he’s just like pretty happy all around he has a life, an apartment, friends

he gets an email from this girl and she’s like yo

I’m Tamara, my mother passed away recently but I discovered that our parents are apparently siblings?? I never knew I had a cousin, I heard you live in the area and I was just wondering if you wanted to get to know each other

and hes basically like damn if i’m about to pass up this chance!!!!!!!!

Tamara works as a programmer literally one (1) city away

basically they just?? end up getting along really well?? Devon spends a lot of his off days hanging out with her

he’s so ecstatic to finally have someone who’s his family like she treats him like a little brother

probably Tamara also has a younger sibling, their name is Calix. they work as a doctor and dont see Tamara often but the two are close regardless

they’ll be important later but for rn they’re not relevant

anyway, at some point they make plans for Devon to meet Tamara and he ends up at her work

and she’s chilling with this guy who is absolutely

fucking

gorgeous

Devon’s sure he died, right there, behind a goddamn cubicle,,

he’s frantically trying to think up something suave to say (are you the only tennessee no– wait–) when Tamara notices him

she introduces him to her hot friend, his name is Shay

Devon tries to play it cool

“Hey would you mind if Shay came w–”

“NO NOT AT ALL I WOULDNT MIND”

they go out for lunch

he chills out a little bit on the way enough to be his usual self

Shay mistakes flirting for good-natured joking

Devon suffers

They exchange numbers

cue pining

Shay continues to be oblivious

He has to be told point blank by Tamara whos like “Please, for the love of all that is good, fuck him go on a date with my cousin.”

“Has he been asking me on dates every time he takes me out?? every time??”

I love Shay so much u dont even know

Shay is basically a really pure and happy person, literally nothing can get him down ever he’s just trying to live his best life

he’s everything to Devon, he’s so sunshiney and nice and Devon has just been through some stuff and his life is going well and now he has been blessed with this beautiful, perfect boy….,,,

it’s not like Devon has never dated anyone before, most of his relationships have been purely physical but he’s been in romantic relationships w people

but this is like. it he knows it.

they date for about a year, everything’s fantastic

and then

things are heating up politically, and Devon’s in the military so they need him somewhere else

right now everyones living in like?? around india somewhere and they need him in like. canada.

hes understandably upset

he’s gotta move. acROSS THE GLOBE.

he’s not going to break up with bae but they’ve got to talk through this like Adults™

so they talk through it

and Shay’s basically like

“fuck no, i’m moving with you idiot

did you think you were just going to move away from me bench?? sike”

they move in together

I used to have their apartment layout drawn up on homestyler but they reset the system and it’s gone into the void so i’ll have to remake it :’)

so now they’re moved in which is super great everything is popping

remember Calix? they’re relevant again

basically, Calix has been dating this girl for a while now and they’ve gotten serious but their relationship is not working out because she is a mess tbh and they love each other very much but they are not good for each other

Calix isn’t emotionally receiving or helpful he’s very blunt so they end up splitting up because she doesn’t need a relationship

Said girl is Adella

Adella is a mess basically

the program she was recruited for made her very successful, very well known in her field and in a lot of ways, among common people

but downside is there was a lot of government dirty work she was kind of pressured into doing

there’s also a lot of hush hush skirmish’s that have been occurring that she had to stop

she’s been struggling with depression for a lot of her life and she has PTSD so when her contract is up she decides to take a break™

her and Calix’s relationship kind of falls apart but she’s friends with Tamara and she’s like I need to leave somewhere and get out of this messiness, i’m going to move back home (Canada)

Tamara is like

LIGHTBULB DING DING DING

she doesn’t think that Adella shoudnt be on her own, she wants someone to supervise her and make sure she doesnt accidentally starve or smthn

she has the best intentions but she kind of tricks Devon and Shay tbh

“Hey you guys got an apartment with an extra room?? Can you take in my friend for a while, she’ll pay rent, she has a job she’s just trying to find a nice place to live but she needs to move to the area rn”

the two of them are like “yeah sure lol sounds legit tammy we ly

Adella shows up on their doorstep with the intention to live there for like 2 years

cue Shay internally flipping his shit over this lowkey celebrity whos going to LIVE in HIS APARTMENT DEVON DID YOU CLEAN THE KITCHEN

Devon is not phased

he knows Adella from school so he’s just kind of like hey its u whats banging girlie

he basically just treats her like normal and she is so appreciative

basically they become SQUAD i love them and thats the beginning of my story and thus ends background

i’m sorry this was so long i tried so hard but i got carried away. double sorry for taking so long I have like 3 end of school projects due rip me

Thank you so much for asking!! I can��t tell you how much it means to me :’)) If you made it this far through my story I applaud you. thanks for reading!!! Feel free to message me if you have any questions

#ask #mine #im shook this happened im still dazed that anyone cares about my garbage children #i love my son so much #cheater157 #my ocs

4 notes · View notes

exo-yeol · 6 years

Text

Ask Game!

I was tagged by the beautiful @baekscrazylady cause she knows just how bored I truly am! Also! Fun fact! I was half way through this and my laptop crashed so that was fun!:))))))))))))))))))))

(1) Do You Sleep With Your Closet Doors Open Or Closed?

Closed!

(2) Do You Have Freckles?

Nope! ...I do have one on each hand but I don’t think that counts! :P

(3) Can You Whistle?

Yes! In and out! (oml that sounds so weird!)

(4) Last Song You Listened To.

Super Junior D&E - I Love It!

(5) What Is Your Favourite Colour?

PINK! I FREAKING LOVE PINK!

(6) Relationship Status.

Sexy, Free and Single! I’m ready to bingo! ;P ....jk bout the bingo part!

(7) What Is The Temperature Right Now?

18° C

(8) Did You Wake Up Cranky?

Yes! I was woken up at an ungodly hour by by little brother. Not. Fun.

(9) How Many Followers?

I have no clue! I never think of checking that for tumblr! But really not that many!

(10) Zodiac Sign.

Scorpio!

(11) What Is Your Eye Colour?

Blue!

(12) Take A Vitamin Daily?

Oh god, too many!

(13) Do You Sing In The Shower?

YES! What is that point in showering if you don’t make use of the amazing acoustics??

(14) What Books Are You Reading?

Uhhmm again, too many! The most recent one I read some of was Carrie Hope Fletcher’s The Other Side

(15) Grab The Book Nearest To You, Turn To Page 64, Give Me Line 14.

You Can Heal Your Life - Louise L. Hay “you are developing insight and understanding that will set you free.”

(16) Favourite Anime?

FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST!! Brotherhood or the original anime idagf! They are both SO GOOD! And the characters are my everything! I would die for them! Can I marry Ed? Can I marry Mustang? Can I be best friends with Winry?? Can I do alchemy pls? And the storyline is so interesting and complex and the characters are really well rounded and the back stories oomf I fucking love it soooo much! I’m gonna copy @baekscrazylady and put in a gif here because I miss looking at their faces!

AAAAH! How fucking COOL is Ed? I love them so much!

(17) Last Person You Cried In Front Of?

Does myself count? Yesterday I cried in front of the mirror! But if it has to be another person then my mother!

(18) Do You Collect Anything?

Teddies, Tamagotchis, Kpop albums/merch, books, EMOTIONAL WOUNDS!

(19) What Did You Have For Lunch?

Chicken Caesar Salad Wrap!

(20) Do You Dance In The Car?

Uhm I guess? Its not something I get a chance to do often but if the opportunity presents itself then sure! But also I hate being a distraction to the driver so like keep it on the minimum peeps!

(21) Favourite Animal?

WOLVES AND FOXES AND CANINES IN GENERAL! My room and house in general is covered in some variation of canine! Including two living ones (soon to be three!)

(22) Do You Watch The Olympics?

Yas! Track, Badminton, Trampolining and Diving are my faves!

(23) What Time Do You Usually Go To Bed?

Lately somewhere between 11 and 12!

(24) Are You Wearing Makeup Right Now?

Yes! I’m wearing bright pink eyeshadow and bright pink lipstick!

(25) Do You Prefer To Swim In A Pool Or The Ocean?

I don’t really have a preference cause I can’t really swim, but I like to mess around and play in both!

(26) Favourite Tumblr Blog?

@baekscrazylady is always a winner for all your multifandom needs! Plus shes my bestie! But thats just a bonus :P

(27) Bottled Water Or Tap Water?

Bottled tastes nicer but I have no problems drinking from the tap!

(28) What Makes You Happy?

I’m not sure any more! :/

(29) Post A Gif Of What You’re Currently Feeling Right Now.

I’m sleepy! I think I’m gonna finish this in the morning!

...

Okay! I’m back after 7 hours of sleep!

(30) Do You Study Better With Or Without Music?

Without!

(31) Dogs Or Cats?

Dogs! I’m not too fond of cats and I think my dogs would have a problem if I brought one home!

(32) If You Were A Crayon What Colour Would You Be?

PINK!

(33) PlayStation Or Xbox.

PlayStation! I’ve spent a lifetime playing Crash Bandicoot on the PS1 and my loyalties run deep!

(34) Would You Swim In The Lake Or Ocean?

The Ocean! I just feel like theres bound to be monsters in a lake!

(35) Do You Believe In Magic?

Of course! <3

(36) What Colour Shirt Are You Wearing?

Yellow! But last night when I started this I was wearing a green vest!

(37) Can You Curl Your Tongue?

I surely can!

(38) Do You Save Money Or Spend It?

Both!

(39) Is There Anything Pink Within 10 Feet Of You?

Plenty! Teddies, books, a suitcase, kpop albums, my bedsheet is pink!

(40) Do You Have Any Obsessions Right Now?

Well K-pop is an ongoing obsession! But recently something specific I’ve been OBSESSED with is Seungri’s 123! THIS IS THE BEST SONG! I have to listen to it everyday or I can’t function! Its soooo good! And the MV is really fun and theres cute lil bloopers at the end! I love it!!

Hehe! Look at him go!!

(41) Have You Ever Caught A Butterfly?

Yes! My brother actually attracts them! They land on him all the time! Its kinda cute kinda freaky!

(42) Are You Easily Influenced By Other People?

I think it depends on the person and the thing I’m being influenced about, but I’m quite a stubborn/headstrong person so I would say that I lean more towards no...but still a lil bit yes!

(43) Do You Have Strange Dreams?

Uhm yes, a lot!

(44) Do You Like Going On Airplanes?

I’m not scared of flying and I don’t mind it, but its not my favourite thing!

(45) Name One Movie That Made You Cry.

The Green Mile, this movie broke me and now I actually cannot watch sad movies...also two days ago I cried at The Breakup so woo go me for being a mess!

(46) Peanuts Or Sunflower Seeds?

Sunflower seeds! I could eat a whole bag!

(47) If I Handed You A Concert Ticket Right Now, Who Would You Want The Performer To Be?

EXO! In all their OT9 glory!!! I need this to happen so that I can die happy! ...I would say BTS as well since they’re my ults too but I ALREADY HAVE TICKETS TO SEE THEM!!!! AAAAAAHHHH!!!! MY ARMY HEART IS DYING!

(48) Are You A Picky Eater?

Not really! I have a list of stuff I don’t eat but I’ll eat it if its put in front of me cause I have to set a good example for my little brothers!

(49) Are You A Heavy Sleeper?

I sleep like a corpse.

(50) Do You Fear Thunder / Lightning?

Nope! I love it! My whole family are those freaks who’ll stupidly run to the window or outside and be like “waaaahhh!”

(51) Do You Like To Read / Write?

Yes! I do both everyday!

(52) Do You Like Your Music Loud?

I’M SORRY, I CAN’T HEAR YOU!! MY MUSIC IS TOO LOUD!!

(53) Would You Rather Carve Pumpkins Or Wrap Presents?

Wrap presents! Bitch I’m a PRO!

(54) Put Your Music On Shuffle, What Is The First Song That Came Up?

Hyuna - Run & Run (MY QUEEN!)

(55) What Season Are You In Right Now? (Weather)

Autumn months wise, but we’re still getting Summer weather!

(56) What Are You Craving Right Now?

More sleep!

(57) Post A Screenshot Of Your Tumblr Feed.

Nah...not arsed, but the post I last saw was a gifset of Mark and JB being stoopid!

(58) What Is Your Gender?

Female

(59) Coffee Or Tea?

Tea!

(60) Do You Have Any Homework Right Now? If So, What Is It About?

No! Its the Summer holidays!

(61) What Is Your Sexuality?

Mainly straight, but aren’t we all a little gay? I’m about 70/30! Or maybe even 60/40!

(62) Do You Make Your Bed In The Morning?

Most days, but my bed is really annoying to make and takes a good ten mins so sometimes I don’t do it till like 5 o’clock in the day when I want to sit on it!

(63) Favourite Pokemon?

Eevee! Ninetails! All water Pokemon! Pikachu! Togapee!

(64) Favourite Social Media?

I don’t know! I get bored of them quickly and hop around! RN I’d say instagram maybe?

(65) What’s Your Opinion On Instagram Stories?

I love watching them!

(66) Do You Get Homesick?

Yep! I think everyone does a little or at times! But I’ve never been like actual homesick where you get sick and everything!

(67) What Shampoo And Conditioner Are You Using Right Now?

Tea-tree shampoo and a conditioner thats specifically for curly hair but I can’t remember the name!

(68) If You Were Far From Home And Needed To Sleep For The Night, Would You Choose To Rent A Crappy Motel Room For $60 Or Sleep In Your Car For Free?

Motel! I know that they’re haunted and I’m gonna be stabbed in the shower but listen, I am not sleeping in a fricking car, ESPECIALLY not on my own!!

(69) Are Both Of Your Blood Parents Still In Your Life?

Yes, unfortunately! ,,,jk about the unfortunately...or am I? :P

(70) Whats The Next Movie You Want To See In Theaters?

I’m going to see the Teen Titans Movie! CAN’T WAIT!! I watched the show all the time when I was a kid! Also I really want to see Wreck-It Ralph 2 and so many others!

(71) What Is Your Favourite Quote Right Now?

I don’t have a favourite quote atm! Sorry!

(72) What Eye Colour Do You Find Sexiest?

People? Find? Specific? Eye? Colours? Sexy?

(73) Did You Like Swinging As A Child? Do You Still Get Excited When You See A Swing Set?

YEs and YEs! I would be that kid swinging far too high and then jumping off! Me and my friend used to challenge each other to do specific poses and stuff while we were jumping off or when we’d land!

(74) What Was The Last Thing You Ate?

A chicken goujon!

(75) What Games Do You Have On Your Phone?

I have one rhythm game, and a few language games!

(76) Would You Give A Homeless Person CPR If They Were Dying? Why Or Why Not?

I don’t think so because I’m not that confident in my CPR giving skills so I’d probably ask someone else to help! But if worst comes to worst then I probably would!

(77) Been On The Computer For 5 Hours Straight?

Today? No! In my life? Yes!

(78) Stalked Someone On A Social Network?

All the time!

(79) Do You Like Meeting New People?

Yes!

(80) Do You Wear Rings? If You Do, Take A Picture Of Them.

Every now and then! But I just woke up so I haven’t put any on today!

(81) Do You Sleep With Your Bedroom Door Open Or Closed?

Closed! But if I’m sharing with my brothers then I can sleep with them open!

(82) What Are Three Things You Did Today?

I peed, I reset my password on a website and I’ve listened to Seungri’s 123!

(83) What Do You Wear To Bed?

Big tshirts or night dresses! And in the Winter I wear matching pjs!

(84) List All Of Your Different Beauty Products You Have Right Now.

Like including makeup? Or just skincare? I use too much makeup to list! And for skincare everything I use has some sort of coconut oil in it!

(85) Are You A Day Or Night Person?

Both!

(86) List All Of Your Video Games On Your Phone, Console Etc.

Nah!

(87) Tell Me About A Dream That You Had And When It Happened.

Hmmmmmmmmm which to choose! I recently had a dream about 2 weeks ago where I was in a bar and Chanyeol and Sehun were having a dance off while I was singing karaoke and I kept getting angry at them for distracting me! And Seungcheol, who was my boyfriend in this particular dream universe, was chasing his manager around with a pair of false eyelashes trying to put them on him!

(88) Favourite Soda Drink?

Mainstream: Nothing better than an ice cold coke! Don’t @ me!

Hippie dippy: Elderflower!

(89) What Sounds Are Your Favourite?

Rain, my Gran calling my name, chuckling, little children/babies laughing, my Grandpa singing, Chanyeol singing, waves ( i always fall asleep to waves!), idk so many others its too early and my brain is mush rn!

(90) Do You Wear Jeans Or Sweats

I wear both quite equally!

(91) How Do You Look Right Now?

I just woke up and I have mascara under my eyes, honestly I think I still look asleep!

(92) Name Something That Relaxes You.

Washing my face! I feel so calm and pampered! Its the simple things :P

(93) What Tattoo Do You Want?

TOO MANY!!! I want a Golden Snitch, and a fairy and a flower and so many! I can’t wait to start getting tattooed!

(94) Favourite YouTuber?

Rn Shane Dawson is my number one, but I do love Jenna Marbles, Dan and Phil, Safiya Nygaard, Grav3yardgirl, Jamie Jo and then a hand full of beauty gurus that I semi-keep up with!

(95) Do you smoke?

No. Its really gross and reminds me of my Dad. No thank you.

(96) How tall are you?

5′ 2″!! Or maybe 5′ 3″! I’m 160cm!

(97) What career did you want as a child

A singer! I still lowkey do! But thats a very squashed dream at this point! I also wanted to be an actress! Honestly I just wanted to make people happy and entertain them! And when I was a child I was always the center of attention because my mam had me when she was waaay young and no one else her age had a child so I guess from an early age I’ve just loved watching people laugh or be happy because of me! Thats probably why I’m attracted to film and have a YouTube channel cause I want people to have fun while enjoying the things that I create or am a part of! I hope this doesn’t sound conceited oml!

(98) Do you care about your weight?

Yes! But I don’t know what I weigh tho cause my mam doesn’t believe in weighing scales, and shes right! But I am conscious of my weight! ...most times I’m self conscious of it lol!

(99) Ever kissed a stranger?

Yes! Many a time!

(100) Favorite season?

I don’t think I have a favourite season! Now that I’m older I can appreciate each season as it comes and I have certain things that I love about each! Rn I can’t wait to start wearing cute sweaters and boots again, but at the end of Spring I was dying for shorts and vests!

Woo! I’m finished! Now I’m going back to sleep for a quick nap! And then off to the cinema! YAY!

#questions #tagged #tag game

0 notes

iannoyinglysweetstudent-blog · 6 years

Text

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