#THE DREAD THAT SET IN LATER

[fire-bay]

Signal transmitter my beloved

Long story short, we were on Rend, I was the last one coming back to the ship, watching out for giants/blind dogs

Get a message transmitted telling me to run. Run for my life, not knowing why.

I get to the ship as my friends close the door, and they tell me I was being chased by a fucking masked enemy, just seeing it getting close to me on the radar.

Terrifying, I love this game

Thank you @rukafais @asp1diske for saving my oblivious ass

#THE DREAD THAT SET IN LATER #WHAT DO YOU MEAN I WAS BEING CHASED AND I DID NOT KNOW??? #signal transmitter saved me life #lethal company #firebay #my art

[raayllum]

Something I’ve been mulling over bc it also stuck out to me when I first watched the season, took the symbolic reasoning, and then didn’t think too much over it. However, I think I do know the in-character / story reasoning after some time & reflection, so let’s talk about it. Or rather, let’s try to answer

Why didn’t Callum figure out the mirror?

Simply put: because he didn’t, Narratively, need to. 

Let me explain. 

What’s the Point, really, of Callum being interested in the mirror? We know it’s in character because he’s always in curious about magic. We know it’s in character because he already has a tendency to fixate and attach meaning to objects. And we know it’s doubly sound in-universe given that Callum knows from Rayla’s binding and the Storm Spire archway that elven stuff is hardly ever meaningless or without a deeper meaning underneath. 

From a symbolic standpoint, of course it’s meant to show his parallels to Viren, even if his and Viren’s personalities and circumstances are wildly different. However, Callum has even less context for the mirror than Viren did. All he knows is that it’s something Viren has had and is seemingly elvish in design. He doesn’t know it was in the lair of the Dragon monarchy or any hint at all that it’s connected to the archmage mentioned in his father’s letter / that he has a somehow related Key. 

One of the main reasons I thought Callum might go after Rayla into Xadia from a storytelling structure was because 1) we need humans in Xadia as an audience surrogate (hi all the kiddos just going into Xadia with Zubeia and Rayla to provide just that) and 2) I always thought they wouldn’t have the time for Callum to have a full fledged arc with mirror Aaravos the same way Viren had and that it could end being too similar to what had come before. (Turns out I was right because the plot didn’t have time lmao! But I digress)

Don’t get me wrong, Aaravos manipulating Callum through the mirror in terms of conversations could have worked (and I’ve written a few here and here pre season release) but that always felt like it might infringe a bit on Callum’s character for two main reasons

1) Besides Rayla being gone, he has virtually everything he ever wanted; helping his brother, a powerful mage, getting to pursue more magical resources etc. Viren only went to Aaravos out of outright desperation because he believed that had “nothing left to lose” and because he had goals he was chasing. Until Aaravos possesses Callum, Callum is a hot mess, sure, but he’s not particularly desperate. There’s no tangible way in - Callum was offered unlimited power back in 2x08 and still turned down being a dark mage. Just something nondescript wouldn’t really work this time either

2) Callum is skeptical as hell and is accordingly slow to trust, and even barring Rayla’s absence, he still had a support system of people who cared about him at the castle, particularly Ezran and Soren (and even Bait) who would keep an eye on him. Callum can be reckless and let his curiosity get the better of him, but he still listens to his instincts (2x03 with Soren and Claudia) and the people around him.

The main information Callum could’ve gotten from Aaravos, if the Startouch elf had been 1) willing and 2) truthful would’ve been details of his backstory - well before his imprisonment, as everything else (the fact that he is imprisoned, the lack of knowledge about where he is, who put him there, etc.) are all things we really knew. So it’d require more of a switch from Aaravos than Callum in a lot of ways too - elongating and stretching things out, and not necessarily giving Callum a segue into an arc where he’s actually able to start processing his feelings. And again, no desperation as a way in

But with all that out of the way, why have Callum be more obsessed with the mirror beyond the initial scene in 4x01? Why not have him investigating the cube because it’s also related to Aaravos and could communicate the same purpose? Why have it be the arguable C-plot of 4x02 at all if he’s just going to be interrupted? 

Like I said, there’s the very blatant symbolic reason of Rayla’s entrance being what deters Callum from getting too close to the mirror, her halo’d by the moon figure representing the other path he’s going to choose away from the more blatant visible path of darkness (black dark magic eyes, gazing upon a fallen star, “what if i’m on a path of darkness” etc etc) in the end. I do think that’s the Surface Level reading we’re meant to have as a takeaway, kind of similar to when Rayla spares Marcos in the forest in a moment of emotional illumination. Another path.

However, I think it actually goes deeper than that:

Which is to say, step out of the narrative / audience mindset, and look at it from Callum’s perspective. 

You see the six primal sources Rayla has drawn after the craziest night of your life and think of something exciting and familiar. The cube in the Banther Lodge. Conveniently on the way and free of humans. You have to go get it. 

You give up on having it when shit hits the fan. You just want to make sure everyone, especially Rayla, gets out safely. You completely give up on the cube. And even though she’s pissed at you, she tosses it into your lap anyway. 

It turns out that, of all the possible things and secrets your stepfather could’ve given you that you might have missed out on, he intended and left the Key of Aaravos to you. It soothes the ache in your chest. It feels like destiny, especially after a week of being lost and magic-less

You bury yourself in your work to soothe another heart break. You hate the bulk of what you’ve inherited from your predecessor. You learn how to translate runes. But no matter how much you learn, you can’t translate the mirror. The gleam routinely catches your eye. You hate a riddle you can’t solve

You have a feeling the mirror is related to the evil returning to the world due to Ibis mentioning the Fallen Star; the same way you had a feeling that the cube could help you. (A feeling that Rayla couldn’t be trusted, a feeling that the storm made you feel like it did when you cast fulminus.) 

Then you cannot feel anything except numbness as your limbs and mouth move beyond your control and it’s worse. It’s so much worse. 

You worry you’re on a path of darkness, that you will inevitably, accidentally, play into his hands because you almost have three times before without even realizing.

You cannot let go of the cube. 

In every adjacent encounter, Callum has had a step of separation from Aaravos. He thinks and behests they make a heartfelt detour so he can go get the cube, but Rayla is the one who finds it. Before he can even know the cube is more special than it seems (although he already thinks it’s more special than Rayla does and certainly not worthless), Harrow is granting him key ;) information. He didn’t find the mirror, Viren having already stolen and hauled it back into Katolis, as the last thing Runaan ever saw. By the time Zubeia tells him what it is, it is too late.

In so many ways this exemplifies how even before Callum knew it in 1x01 for a decent chunk of the episode, the events that would radically transform and destroy his life had already taken place in more ways than one: assassins spotted, egg stolen. Harrow dead just as the narrative truly begins. 

The cube is his part of the puzzle to decipher, not anyone else’s. Claudia, Viren, and Callum are all needed as equal parts of Aaravos’ plan for his pawns. For Viren, it was the staff and the mirror; for Claudia, it is the quest; and for Callum, it will likely be the cube. This is shown even in 4x01 when the two times Callum is talking about the mirror, he is Interrupted by either the guard coming to fetch him on his brother’s behalf or by Soren messing with the cube, and Callum is interrupted again by the cube glowing and then Rayla’s arrival, literally turning away from the mirror for each. 

The point of the mirror and Callum’s obsession with it wasn’t to solely highlight how he’s like Viren, necessarily (otherwise they could’ve just kept throwing in the same parallels they have from the very beginning), but to show how his agency has been undermined from the very beginning and will be to the end (of S6 at least), that he and Viren are tethered by the same thing that is Worse than Death, and that while more cognizant of it, by the time Viren realized Aaravos was using his Power and that Callum was entangled, it was already, as Harrow says

If Callum had figured out the mirror and that it was a prison or even communicated to Aaravos on his own, he would be able to look back and see and know all the places he could’ve stopped, all the places he actively chose to wander down. But even that is taken away from him. Even with delays, even with self-preservation, even by both repeating and rejecting Viren’s mistakes, it adds to Callum feeling like his destiny is already written, that this path as a pawn is inevitable. That no matter how different or similar he is to Viren, there’s only one way this can end, that there are no divergences, there are no other choices - there are no safe choices except to take him out. That he will continually come back to Aaravos regardless of if he knows it or not, that his own wishes will hook him right back in, that his fate is already sealed. That it’s written in stone. 

Callum has chased agency (magic) his whole arc, wanting to be able to protect his loved ones and make something of himself. However, he’s also had more agency than he was giving himself credit for even in S1, stopping Claudia from going after them, having the final say about going up to the tower or not. Thus S1-S3 is largely Callum deciding who he wants to be with the agency he has and recognizing his strengths, building his confidence. He hasn’t struggled with concepts of agency more than he has since S2, which is one of the reasons S4 mirrors S2 so heavily in how its emotionally structured for the main cast in particular. Realizing that the ability to fully commit to the choices he wants has been within him all along; that’s why he narratively gets the Sky arcanum. So of course an external factor reaching inside him and taking control is the most bone-chilling inversion of that possible.

If he went the Viren arc as a slowburn in S4, we would get the Viren S4 resolution, of Callum unknowingly giving away his agency until he has basically nothing left. If he was driven to figure out the mirror for it or his own sake, we would see him being having Claudia’s arc, falling further and deeper in with a devastating relentlessness. 

Instead, we get that lack of agency on speed run to give Callum the opposite arc of having agency brutally ripped away from him, only to open up a path for him to take it back stronger than ever before. In many ways, Callum has more to lose and more at stake, the fact that he can be possessed an even greater blow now than it would’ve been in Arc 1. 

Arc 1 for him was about acclimating and adjusting to Power. and believing in his own Potential .This first portion Arc 2 is about how much of a say does he have in how he uses that power, now that he’s no longer a child; now that he’s no longer free.  

Callum doesn’t typically worry about making the wrong choice, however. Most of his anxiety tends to stem when he feels like he has no choice. Thus, it sets Callum up to have a really interesting arc of reconciling these dualities rather than just retreading old steps. Viren had full agency when chasing after Aaravos; as Soren says to Claudia, “Dad is dead; you don’t have to do what he wants anymore,” believing that Claudia is merely picking up where Viren left off, not that she’s steamrolling their own father into it in order to save his life. 

It’s one of the reasons that of all characters, Callum arguably also parallels Zym a great deal as well. Like Zym, he’s being treated like a thing and a weapon more than a person. Like Viren believed of Zym, Callum worries he may be forced into a terrible destiny. That:

Callum being possessed is still a form of manipulation, if not also a misdirect, forcing him into a desperate position that makes him even more vulnerable to Aaravos than he ever could’ve been otherwise. But it’s a different form of manipulation than how Aaravos lured in Viren, and a different form than how he’s manipulated Claudia the past two years. Aaravos is terrifying because he knows what strings to pull, not because he’s pulling the same strings every time. For a character with such a strong breath / mouth / freedom motif, being choked / being robbed of his voice / and of his freedom is the absolute biggest smack in the face. I’ve long mandated that the worst possible thing that would rattle Callum the most would be feeling like his mind was unsafe because of Aaravos, not his body. 

Callum seeking Aaravos out in S4 of his own accord is thematically / narratively opposed to the possession plot line. The possession plot line is the ‘replacement’/subversion chosen, but it’s not a bug; it’s the feature. 

It also sets Callum up to have a really interesting arc of battling for control, eventually winning it (S5 and/or S6) but still losing to Aaravos, making the wrong choice or call or being forced into something anyway while he’s cognizant enough to make a choice at all, anyway. It’d be empowering and demoralizing all at once.

But still not without any hope, since, after all: 

Nothing is truly inevitable. Nothing is written in stone. It is never wholly too late, not for anyone. Aaravos just doesn’t know it yet - but Callum will be sure to show him, by S7 at the very least if not sooner.

#tdp callum #4x02 #s4 #arc 2 #analysis series #establish theme series #analysis #mage boy #callum #i cannot tell if this makes any sense but #callum not figuring out the mirror before the rug gets pulled out from under him #is the whole reason he's so freaking Paranoid in the first place #if this was the third time you'd found this kind of connection you'd be freaked too #you cannot have callum figuring out the mirror And the possession plot line for him as a character #bc it'd get too thematically cluttered #however the mirror does help set up callum's connection with aaravos later so it comes less out of nowhere and #gives us that sense of dread / curiosity #but yeah it's not a plot hole or even a bug #it's the whole Point tbh #tag ramble #insp by talks with some of my fandom friends

[july-19th-club]

love season 2. i'm concussions! and i'm psychic visions! the headache brothers

#s2 might be my favorite full season hands down even though some of my favorite single episodes/emotional arcs come later #which is weird bc it also has a lot of stuff in it i DON'T like (the way gordon was handled. some annoying motws. et cetera) #but overall it's well paced entertaining has a great score as per usual for the early years . and balances intrigue with grief and fear #and they're SO headaches. the advil consumption in that household (carhold?) is in the double digits daily . ulcers forming as we speak #also croatoan is in this season! one of THE most dread-filled eps they ever did #plus of course what is & what should never be (goes without saying) all hell breaks loose part one last five minutes (goes WITHOUT saying) #etc etc #like you can tell there's a lot of gamble here but it's in a good way #um. the wizard van telepath. victor hi victor . sorry about these horrible boys . houses of the holy!! there's like zero complete misses #i think gabriel is annoying but the CONCEPT of his first episode was still great. don't love the early jodean dynamic but i like how it end #they spend a lot of time genuinely having to deal with The Law etc . the stuff that happens in this one more than even s1 sets the tone #for like everything that follows. for better or worse. the cycle of death/sacrifice/rebirth/sacrifice . the beginning of the religion angle #the expansion of the world (for a while anyway) #i'd go so far as to call it 'good television' #spn

[theghostofashton]

. (maybe slight tw for loss)

#leaving in a couple hours and i feel like crying lol #we saw so many relatives this trip that may not be around when we come next which was. Something #and like all of them are in their 90s like no one lives forever i know that #but it’s a just a lot i guess #i have enjoyed this trip so much i feel like i genuinely disconnected and i needed it #and the thought of going back is a little bittersweet #i miss my bed and my shower but that’s like it #the food and coffee here are so superior #idk like every other time i’ve gone to india it’s been something i’ve dreaded and this time i set out to truly enjoy myself #and i feel like i did which is such a relief #but now begins the goodbye routine #and in my family my mom doesn’t say bye she says ‘we’ll go and come’ in telugu and just thinking about it is making me cry rn #just a lot of emotions lol ignore this #i have seen things in these past two weeks that i’ve never seen on any of my other trips #and idk how to deal w that #delete later #neha rambles

[pinkfey]

the alienation of showing up to an event as the only person masked is like. the absolute worst.

#not just the realization that these people have ‘moved on’ #but the way they treat you #at my cousin’s bachelorette party her mom said oh are you sick? when she saw me #and when i smiled and said no she said oh you’re just..? #and later on that evening someone from the groom’s side of the family came up to me out of the blue #interrupting my conversation with my little cousin #to say ‘is that a jaw brace??’ because i had my mask down while i was sipping a drink #and then she went on a spiel about jaw braces and when people get jaw surgery and i was like 🤨 #because i had my mask on the whole party before that and she definitely saw me so.. what the fuck lmao #anyways i’m just dreading the wedding this weekend #knowing the type of people who are going to be there #people who have never worn masks since the beginning #which is why they all got covid twice #but my family is insisting and 🙃 i can’t handle another argument #never mind that my eighty year old grandparents will be there and they wanted to do it via zoom #but my cousins mom said oh we’re not setting up zoom sorry :) #so now they’re begrudgingly attending in person because they want to see their grand niece get married and there’s no other option for them #it just. upsets me. u know?? #oughhhhhhh #anyways.txt

[lavender-lily]

What. What even the fuck. Two videos, 10 years apart. Why do I have 1.09k subscribers. How did that happen. I don’t even use YouTube like ever. I am BAFFLED.

#the Santa playing guitar is my husband btw #(and I posted that commercial because I’m in it) #(that was actually a really fun shoot) #to be fair I had a few other videos on there for a while that I had a random feeling of dread about and deleted #like two months later twitter and Reddit dogpiled me over a comment I’d made about Lazytown a decade earlier #so like #maybe people actually did want to see ukulele covers of Hozier songs set to video of me decorating a cake inspired by that song? #but I’m still glad I deleted them before the Redditbros decided I needed to kms

[prognostik-a2]

i log on here. i go insane because my obsession over the twin princes have rekindled,

#tag later. #just rewatched their boss fight and im so. #OUGHHHHHHHJHHHH #LOTHRIC ……… LORIAN.. #rise; if you would… for that is our curse. #and if i fling myself down the steps and out of my window What Then. #imagine being born and raised to become a lord of cinder only to refuse your fate entirely. imagine being set to become what you dread most- #when all you want to have is for the very fire you were meant to link with fade into nothing. #g-d. lothric and lorian make me so sad #probably my fave characters ever in ds asides from gwyndolin and friede #and if i add lothric and lorian on here ? what then.

[highabovethecloudssomewhere]

okay gonna edit tonight and tomorrow morning and then I should be able to get the next AHDAI chapter out thank you guys for your patience it’s the longest chapter there’s been to date in the revamp so far and it’s a mess

#delete later #cloud rambles #ahdai revamp #6.7k rn and I know I've got like?? couple scenes to bulk out #sometimes I just write dialogue and then go back and add nuance/body language/set later #keeps the flow of writing going #makes editing Very necessary #but yes it should be out tomorrow #very excited to have this chapter behind me bc I was dreading it lol HSDKJF

[thethingything]

y'know, having that thing where we forget to take meds on time if our routine gets fucked up is bad enough as is, but definitely feels like it's gonna cause more problems while we're on meds that we have to take 4 times a day and can't take less than an hour before or two hours after eating.

also these are the pills. they're fucking huge:

#personal #thoughts #🍬 post #vent post #we don't have a set eating schedule and our sleep schedule is pretty chaotic at the moment #I'm pretty sure the assumption is that you have 3 meals evenly spaced out through the day but we very much don't do that #I fell asleep around when I meant to take the 1st dose so now I'm taking it 3 hours later #but that means I can't eat for another hour and I kinda need food right now but if I ate now I couldn't take it for another 2 hours #I'm also dreading the side effects from these because we normally get pretty bad side effects from antibiotics #and we're on 4g of this one per day

[nexus-nebulae]

hmm

#weird thing ive noticed #so when i was Really Severely Depressed in high school #i used an app called daylio to journal my emotions n shit #and my most common entry was 'neutral' #which i always defined as ':/' #but then later when i was more recovered i realised that that 'neutral' was actually Bad #idk how else to describe it other than- feeling nothing or less than nothing or simply an absence of happiness #i just thought 'well i dont feel Good™ so clearly this is neutral' #when really my 'neutral' should really be Okay instead of Meh :/ #took me a long time to say 'i feel okay' #like genuinely that was a massive milestone was saying 'i feel *okay*' #not 'i feel happy' or 'i feel good' but just. okay #turns out 'okay' is the neutral for most people. not :/ #so now whenever i get days where i'm :/ #i'm able to say 'i feel Bad' without even having to think hard #(honestly I say a lot of 'i feel' phrases a LOT. it's like.. the only way for me to process shit?) #(like- 'i'm tired' or 'i'm hungry'- i'll say them out loud without even physically noticing the feeling) #(and my brain goes 'oh yeah! we are! we should fix that' that's how i exist) #but i've noticed i've been saying 'i don't feel good' way more frequently lately #probably the seasonal depression idk #idk if i actually have acutal seasonal depression tbh coz my depression was way more general and not time-based #but i've been calling it seasonal depression coz it's just #mounting anxiety and dread bc i know winter is Bad For My Health #idk. #you know. i was supposed to be set up with a therapist back in august. #fuckers never called me back. #sucks too coz that counseling center actually had a booth at Pride when i went so i was really excited to go there :/

[evakant]

why won’t very talented mutuals tell me how they do typography for their gifsets? and i mean exactly how they do it. like, every single step, you know? font style. font size. font colour. placement. shadow/no shadow. font pairings. etc etc.

#i'm dreading Officially starting this set #because i never know how to do text #so i always end up half assing it and then feeling bad about it later #fra.txt

[iamthescalesofjustice]

guy who woke up in a pool of blood surrounded by bodies in a ruined tavern and went ‘huh mustve been a hell of a bar fight. kinda sucks i dont remember it’ and then realized he didnt remember Anything and then pulled a shard of mirror out of his chest and it froze itself over once out and his reaction was still just ‘huh okay’ and when he left the tavern he realized the entire surrounding village was dead and as he poked around he realized it based on the aftermath it kind of seemed like everyone had just gone crazy and started killing each other and the sum total of his emotional reaction to that was a sort mild longing, and so he just gathered up some supplies, turned the remaining animals loose, and wandered off to start his new life. 

#anyway his name is birdie and he is a barbarian/warlock #also i did not mention in the body of the post (bc he never mentions it to anyone) but in the middle of the road in town there was a #cracked set of panpipes that stuck him with an inexplicable and overwhelming dread and terror : ) that he could not bring himself to touch #but was instinctively grateful they were broken : ) they were yellowed bone and stained with blood old and new : ) and he later #learned about his past self that he used to be a bard : ) but the talent for pipes has never returned to him and the sound only strikes #his heart through with a terror unmatched : ) anyway he knows thunder step bc fuck stealth haha lets get this party (battle) started right #oc stuff #i said 'hey i havent done a wild magic barbarian before lets see what thats about' and then ended up w/ a slaughter avatar bc predictable

[yumenosakiacademy]

it fucking hurts so much tht i spent so... SO fucking long on my last l!fe notes n essentially ruined my experience of tht season n i didnt even finish it. it burnt me out so bad tht i practically abandoned it. all those hrs, all tht work, all the time n effort i spent n miserable times i went thru n it was all 4 fucking NOTHING. i did my best n tripped at the fucking finish line n im so disappointed n disgusted in myself 4 putting in my all yet fucking failing.

#i NEED 2 finish them but im literally physically incapable. the burnout n dread n miserability it puts in me is Staggering. #but its so.. its SO... its like painting the fucking mona lisa then setting fire 2 it. I did so much all 4 fucking NAUGHT. #delete later

[miniimight]

MISSING A DATE . they forget about a big date with you and realize it too late

with deku + bakugou (in their pro-hero era)

one thing about him is that he always tried his absolute best to make time for you amid his busy schedule. you understood that you weren't the only one that demanded his attention due to his work and were okay with that. as long as you still got your 'me-time' with him, where he blocked out the world and focused on you and only you, you couldn't ask for a more perfect relationship.

but this was your last straw. you had forgiven the late nights, the last-minute cancellations—gotten used to being alone in your luxurious apartment, which only reminded you of the one thing you were missing.

you had planned this date for months. a set time where you both blocked off time that night to just be with each other in a word that tried everything to keep you apart.

"remember tonight, baby." you chirped as you kissed him goodbye that morning.

he hummed and gave you a tight hug before leaving.

you felt giddy as you prepared yourself, slipping into your best clothes and fixing yourself in the mirror. you felt as you did on the night of your first date with him. you couldn't be more excited.

then, you waited. and waited. the restaurant happily sat you next to a window, the streetlamps twinkling romantically against the dusky backdrop.

you waited some more. soon your bright posture slouched as your checked your phone. messaged him a couple times, called a few times more. he's probably just running late.

families came and went, and before you knew it, hours had passed.

you burned in embarrassment as you stared at the empty chair across from you, focusing your frustration as if he was sitting there. but even that didn't give you relief. every one of your thoughts and feelings came to the same conclusion—

he hadn't shown up.

IZUKU

you ordered some food to-go. why not get something out of this outing? besides, the food would do good to distract you from the dread swirling in your stomach. you flashed the server a quick smile before dragging your feet out the restaurant.

you threw your bag, coat, and shoes to the ground as you walked into your apartment, uncaring of where they ended up. you needed the couch, a movie, and the food you were carrying.

a few hours later, izuku showed up. you heard the door slide open and the jangle of his keys. his heavy sigh was familiar and it almost made you feel bad for feeling so angry about him missing this date. almost.

you made no move to greet him as he entered the living space, a big grin plastered on his face. "you look pretty."

the compliment was just salt on the wound, ironically. you hummed, remaining laser focused on your show.

he tugged off his white gloves and set them on the table. "what's got you all dressed up tonight, hmm?" he sat next to you, running his hands up and down your arm.

you just handed him one of the takeout boxes. "want some?" you said dryly.

"what's this—? oh, i recognize the name of this restaurant..." he surveyed the box in his hands, his voice becoming quieter as he sunk into his thoughts. "oh."

you got off the couch.

"oh." he repeated, staring at the takeout box incredulously. "baby, don't tell me tonight was—"

"it was." you said simply, walking into the bedroom. you couldn't bear to look at him.

"fuck." you heard him hiss. a light thudding followed as he hurried after you. "y/n, god, i'm so sorry—don't tell me you went there alone—"

"izuku, i don't care anymore." you turned around abruptly, making him skid to a halt before you. his expression read shock. "i don't."

he slumped and inched closer to you. "no, don't say that—"

"you don't give me a reason to care anymore." you laughed wryly though your lips trembled. "i—" your breath hitched and you turned away from him.

his voice sounded watery as he tried to turn your body to face him again. "i'm so sorry, there was a hangout at the agency after work today and... shit, i totally forgot—"

"a fucking party?" you snapped. "you blew off the date you and i planned for months in advance because we never get to spend time together anymore to hang out with the same goddamn people you see every single day?"

he groaned. "i know, i know—"

"you don't know, izuku." your voice quivered. "you don't, okay?" you sobbed.

he was stunned to silence, unsure of how to right something so horribly wrong.

"you don't know what it's like to always be waiting. i'm always waiting for you. you always have something better to do." you sobbed, sitting on the edge of the bed. you really didn't want to have this conversation with him; you knew you'd break down sobbing. you thought it would've been best if he didn't come back home at all.

he knelt beside you, resting his head where your knees hung over the bed. he stared up at your heartbroken face with tears threatening to flow. "there is nothing that deserves my time more than you." he said firmly.

"you say that as if it's true." you said quietly. "but you don't even..." you looked away from him to reign in your emotions.

he frowned deeply. he knew it was all his fault. you reminded him this morning and he still forgot. you had no reason to believe the words coming out of his mouth. that doesn't mean he's going to stop trying to prove them.

he rested his head against your stomach and wrapped his arms around you tightly. "you have every right to hate me right now, y/n. you've been lonely and overlooked and i haven't done anything to make things better."

you refused to look at him.

he tilted his head with hopes of catching your gaze. "y/n, i mean it. there's nothing that deserves my time more than you. anyone else would've left me. you've given me love and understanding with my hero work..." he choked on his words, finally facing the reality of his relationship. "and i've just taken it and left you behind."

you sniffled.

he stood, bending at the waist to kiss your forehead. "i love you. so much. it's time i start proving it, huh?"

your eyes flickered to his, questioning evident on your expression.

he smiled sadly. "japan has many heroes. i'm sure kacchan and todoroki can handle things without me for a while."

you huffed and rolled your eyes. "very funny. you're a hero, izuku, it's in your nature to shoulder everything." you pouted, guilt threatening to inhabit your thoughts.

he shook his head, cupping your cheeks in his hands. "i'm dead serious. the world doesn't need me everyday, you do. and i'll adjust my schedule to suit."

"but..." you groaned. "god, why do i feel guilty now?" you mumbled.

"stop it. you're not keeping me away from anything. this was long overdue. nothing would make me happier," he grinned and kissed you again before tackling you in a hug.

BAKUGOU

you left the restaurant without another word, feeling so sick to the stomach that you couldn't even bear to go home to the empty apartment.

you tried desperately to convince yourself that something important was holding him up. he didn't forget. he just had some life-threatening epic battle that he needed to attend to. he didn't forget.

you crashed at a friend's house for the night, after a very satisfying rant session about your dilemma. they were a great soundboard and didn't try to regulate your emotions. in a lot of cases, just letting your feelings fly free was the best way to cope with a situation out of your hands.

rrrring rrring

you saw the caller ID and was tempted to ignore the call. but your hands moved on their own, accepting it and putting the phone to your ear.

"y/n l/n." bakugou snarled on the other side. "where the fuck are you?"

"a friend's house."

"why?"

you shrugged, hoping your unbothered reaction would be translated across the phone. "wanted to be with someone last night after my boyfriend stood me up."

silence. a very long silence. you heard him cuss under his breath before he replied. "yesterday was our date."

you hummed.

"y/n. come home."

"i'm good here, really."

"i'm serious, come home."

"why? the off-chance of seeing you there?"

his voice grew more desperate. "y/n—" his breath caught in his throat. "i'm home. i'm waiting for you. we can do something today, maybe—"

"katsuki, you can't keep treating me like a test that you can make up whenever you fail the real thing. you're not there when it fucking matters." you snapped, your resolve crumbling as your eyes started to water.

he gave a weighted sigh. "you're right. i've been treating you like shit."

you scoffed.

"but you're always on my mind. every time i see you asleep when you were trying to wait up for me, i—" he inhaled deeply, trying to keep it together. "i'm not the best boyfriend. believe me, i know that. and i'm losing you... i can see that, too."

you waited.

he sniffed. "come home, y/n. please. i—"

you hung up. you tossed your phone aside and stretched. you gently wiped at your cheeks, realizing how many tears streaked them.

after thanking your friend for their hospitality, you decided to go home. you dreaded the conversation that awaited you. uncertainty riddled your thoughts; was this the end?

you opened the door and immediately heard pounding footsteps to meet you. bakugou stood there, looking uncharacteristically stressed and awkward.

you just gave him a passing glance as you slipped off your shoes, hanging your coat up. you walked past him, going to the washroom to refresh yourself with a much needed shower.

as the water ran down your skin, you began to feel guilty. he was a hero. he saved lives. and you were crying over a missed date with him? when his mere presence meant the safety of those around him?

no matter how valid your frustration and sadness was, you couldn't help the creeping guilt from overwriting your feelings.

you stepped out of the shower, then dressed comfortably for a night in. when you opened the bathroom door, he was waiting outside like a puppy.

you sighed. "i'm sorry." you finally said.

his neck snapped to look at you. "why the fuck are you apologizing?"

"you're a hero. i knew what i'd be signing up for when i got into a relationship with you—"

"are you crazy?" he growled, grabbing your cheeks and tilting your face to look at him. he searched your eyes with concern, as if there was something wrong with you. "you don't need to apologize. my being a hero is no excuse for the way i've been treating you."

you frowned. "but—"

"no." he pulled you into a hug, wrapping his arms around your head. "you—" he laughed dryly. "i can't believe you thought to apologize to me. you're really crazy."

you opened your mouth to say something, but he cut you off. "i'm so lucky to have you. seriously. i can't live without you and i will do everything to prove that from now on."

you pulled away and looked at him. "you better mean it."

he gave you a lopsided grin. "i do. thanks..." he trailed off.

you cocked your head to the side. "for...?"

he kissed you gently. "staying." he hugged you tightly, his next words barely a whisper, "i'm always gonna be there for you."

amidst a couple of tears, you believed him.

© miniimight ! thanks for reading <3

#bnha #mha #izuku midoriya #izuku x reader #deku #deku x reader #bakugou katsuki #bakugou x reader #mha comfort #mha angst #mha x reader #bnha x reader #bakugo x reader #midoriya izuku

[jellyfishrnice]

Yandere! Rich suitor idea

Hear me out-

The rich suitor that your parents have in mind for you to marry once you turn 30, the guy who's parents your parents are best friends and how they've been imagining their offspring getting married for decades! And how you absolutely can't stand your unofficial fiance!

Of course, he couldn't stand you either. All your lives grown up together with both your parents insinuating that you two will carry on their names. Each year you two would be sent off to some exotic vacation (your parents loosely supervising) and each year you both failed to hold a conversation without fighting. The pressure was always too much for you, you hated the idea of being tied down to some guy only your parents liked. And no matter how beautiful the boy was, he simply wasn't your type. He was too pretty, too spoiled, too prissy with his blonde hair tied in a ponytail and his stupid eyebrow piercing that made no sense considering his personality.

The guy you were supposed to marry felt the same, he couldn't understand what his parents saw in you. You were too wild, he couldn't imagine trying to carry on a family with how you barely even wanted to do school work. He didn't even consider ugly just so... Weird! With your weird, odd sense of fashion and refusal to think about your future , you were definitely not his type. You two hated each other.

Until the summer you two turned 21. The yearly vacation y'all took started off like any other. With both you dreading the sight of each other. But that changed very quickly once he saw you. This was the first year you two were alone, and maybe it was the fresh alcohol in your systems or the soft lights in whatever high class restaurant you were in, something clicked in your suitor's brain.

Turns out a year (or a couple) can really change the way you see someone. Whether he knew or not he started to admire the way you refused to comply with the strict set of rules set by the high class society you two lived in, and how you didn't care what anyone else thought of your peculiar way of self expression. It was admirable he had to admit.

And the night you two shared an accidental drunken kiss, it made the hair on his arms stand up, it made his face flush red(which he blamed on the liquor), and it made his heart pound in a way he never thought possible.

Every bone chilling reaction was forced out of him and it made his skin light on fire. After that night, he only wanted more to come out of your relationship.

But, the attraction was simply one sided.

You still only saw the same prissy boy. He still refused to look at things from more than one perspective, he still poked fun at your style of clothes, he still refused to say thank you to whatever person who was serving him!

He was everything you hated all wrapped up in one ball of a man.

And when he dropped the idea of getting married the next morning while you were still recovering from your hangover, you almost vomited.

-

"Ew! What the fuck are you talking about?!" You yelled while almost dropping the mug you had in your hand. The guy was just insulting you yesterday like he always does and now he's talking about marriage?

"You act as though marrying me is the worst thing possible." Andrew sighed while sipping on a glass of orange juice. He looked out the nearby window onto the private beach of the resort while leaning on the nearby wall. It didn't show but your response clearly hurt him just a bit.

"'Cuz it is." You groaned in frustration while sitting down on the living room couch. The guy you hate proposing is definitely not helping with your pounding headache.

You took a sip out of the mug of coffee and tried to rub away the ache from your temples. Why now of all times to propose? You two had at least 5 more years of freedom before yours and his parents would put their foot down and set a date for you two to sign the wedding papers.

"I mean- why not now? Its be better sooner than later, it would be like ripping off a bandaid-"

"Hell no." You sighed and set down your mug on the coffee table next to you and dropped your head onto a pillow. How were you going to deal with this?

"Anyway," you paused trying to gather your words, "don't you hate me? Why would you want to tie the knot so soon? I mean, you're an attractive guy right? Why don't you try out other options before having to-"

"I don't want other options."

You lifted your head and stared at Andrew for a second. The pink dusting his fair cheeks and avoidance of eye contact was all you needed to know.

You looked away from his face and stared at the wall behind him. Your head hurts even more than when you had woken up.

"I'm leaving."

"What?"

"I said I'm leaving." You hauled yourself off the couch and into your room. You could hear Andrews faint footsteps and even more of his questions but ignored it. You packed your backpack, only the necessities and a small bag of seashells. You were getting on the next plane and heading back home. Or wherever you could land first.

You were not staying here. You refused to marry. Not yet at least.

But as you try and open the door to leave, a large hand slams it shut before you can completely open it.

"Andrew. What the hell are you doing."

"You are not leaving." Andrew says while placing his other hand against the door, caging you.

You never realized how muscular Andrew was before this moment.

"Yes, I am. Now let go of the door-"

"No." He says in a much firmer tone.

It dawns on you that you're on a private beach with no one to hear you yell for help. You see one of his hands leave the door and for a second you think he's come back to his senses and stopped whatever crazy shit he was thinking- but instead he snaked his hand around your waist and lays his forehead on your shoulder.

"You're not leaving."

-

HEHEHEHE JUST A THOUGHT THOOO

Not proof read forgive me 😔

#yandere #oc x reader #oc #original content #yandere x y/n #yandere x you #orginal #yandere oc #yandere x reader #maybe more