#The manliest of men

[betweenbreaths]

man. i can't believe i shit out 8k words because of roronoa zoro

honestly, the things this man does to me

#one piece #roronoa zoro #zoro #one piece zoro #its been years since i wrote a one-shot this long help #also ive never really tried or been able to write flirty dialogue before #but i feel like #this was a pretty decent first attempt #maybe because zoro makes me feel so many things #i just love him as a character so much #the manliest of men #the absolute best #k talks

[cheezy-whizz]

“Rock and roll is such a macho genre”

rock music:

#ah yes the manliest of men to ever man #I know there’s a woman in maneskin but I was running out of bands alright #placebo #brian molko #nirvana #kurt cobain #green day #billie joe armstrong #maneskin #david bowie #bowie #rock #rock music #alternative rock #alt rock #bandom #rock and roll #rock n roll #music #alternative #alt music #alt #grunge #90s rock #classic rock #metal #hard rock #punk rock #punk #quorthon

[frownyalfred]

In the Grant Morrison run, Bruce huffs his own sweaty shirts before having a rematch fight with a bane-cop-batman so he can have alpha male energy to throw him off.

I am not kidding. This is not a bit of metaphorical. This is very literal.

(adding your image in from the other ask)

I have a lot of questions. and thoughts. but also, how likely is it that modern-day Bruce would be taking insane amounts of HGH/T/anabolic steroids? either way, his scent is probably wildly "alpha" if that's what he wants to call it LOL.

#“I've beaten up superman” therefore i am the manliest of men #oh bruce #thank god alfred is there #bruce wayne #asks #batman #dc

[vampryoteuthis]

this is the pinacle of ensemble stars

#robin talks #enstars #literally what’s the point if I’m not putting the 4 biggest manliest men in melty kitchen

[astro-b-o-y-d]

I know I'm a transmasc Wendy believer but also I've been leaning a bit towards a genderfluid label for her too.

#Hayley Speaks #TBH that's even more fitting for her since I have a quote from one of the Manotaurs that was like- #'Sometimes the most manly men are actually GIRLS!' #She's the manliest man in Gravity Falls but also sometimes she's a girl #Anyway she's transmasc and genderfluid #Not that she probably uses those labels herself but if we were to describe it; that's where she'd likely fall

[memento-mori-memories]

108:12:00 - Ultimate Horseshoes

#unus annus #memento mori #memento mori memories #day 257 #ultimate horseshoes #the manliest men in like... the area #def man enough for horseshoes #what is manliness distilled into just three words? #toughness. fuuuuuuuck. raaaaaw. #one of my fave videos tbh

[jokersupremacy]

The man who can do no wrong /hj

#kaitou joker #mysterious joker #look at that sexy smirk nehee #the manliest man #such a Scrunkly scrimblo i will squish he #*squish squish* #he is men

[chxrryrose]

tuchel was mad conte didn’t look into his eyes I-😭😭😭

#yeah these are the manliest of men #the epitome of masculinity #we love to see it

[joyful-soul-collector]

I've seen a lot of people talking about how Barbie talks about how the patriarchy affects women and how well it does that, so I wanna talk about how Barbie talks about how the patriarchy affects men and how well it does that. Because it does that really well tbh.

At the beginning of the movie, it's made very clear that the Kens are constantly competing with each other, and trying to prove their worth, their Ken-ness, to both the Barbies, and more importantly, to the other Kens. In fact, multiple times through the movie it's shown that Ken seems to find the opinions of other Kens as a motivator for him to do things. He tries to show off to Barbie only after he sees the other Kens saying hi to her. He only starts dancing with Barbie when he sees the other Kens dancing with her. He only goes with her to the Real World after another Ken accuses him of cowardice and he decides to prove him wrong. Barbie says "Ken's not cool!" and Ken responds "He is to me."

This shows so damn well what the patriarchy is like for men. Because for the Kens it's not necessarily about Barbie, it's about what other Kens think of you. Being a man you are constantly, incessantly trying so damn hard to prove to the other men around you that you are a man, the manliest man to ever man, the best Ken to ever Ken. Literally doing backflips trying to prove yourself. And this is before patriarchy is even officially introduced to the story, there's no undertone of power yet, this is just what it's like to be a man around other men. It's toxic masculinity.

And when the patriarchy is introduced, that's increased tenfold. At first it looks like they've banded together to take power, but really they're still competing with each other, they're just doing it differently. Rather than competing to see who can get Barbie to fall in love with them, they're competing to see who can be the manliest, have the manliest stuff, wear the manliest clothes, have the manliest house and decorations.

And then they literally go to war. War is considered one of the few places where it's socially accepted for men to be more emotional, form deep and personal bonds with other men, and that's exactly what happens in the movie. They go to war, and there's an entire song where they bond and learn not to fight with each other anymore.

And that I think is the message from the Kens. For men, the way the patriarchy affects them is it forces constant competition and animosity, even around people that are supposed to be your friends. It makes it impossible to express your feelings unless they're with a romantic partner, and all of this turns you into a pent up ball of emotions with nowhere to go.

Which means that the message is: In order to fix the way the patriarchy oppresses men, men need to learn how to form close bonds with people, especially other men. Because like Barbie said to Ken, he needs to discover who he is without her. Men have learned to lean on women as a crutch, using them to figure out how to Be A Person and express emotions in a healthy way, but this can very quickly turn into a woman feeling like she needs too be his mother and teach him how to do these things. And Ken was 100% doing this, or at least he was trying to throughout the movie. Ken was so desperate for Barbie to be in love with him, not necessarily because he loved her, but because he needed a person he could just exist as himself around. Because he couldn't do that with the other Kens, the only person he could be himself around was Barbie.

And what's so great about the end of the movie is that the Kens did eventually figure out how to form close bonds with each other! They went to war, argued and fought, but by the end of the song they were holding hands, kissing each other on the cheek, telling each other they were enough. Even when Ken is up in the dreamhouse, crying and saying that he looks stupid, all the other Kens start shouting back up to him, saying that he looks cool. And Ken responds by giving one of his new friends his coat, which was clearly very important to him.

What the Kens did, that's what men in the real world need to do. They need to form close bonds with other men and stop competing with each other. Hopefully not by going to war the way the Kens did, Barbie isn't a blueprint for solving the patriarchy lol.

I'd be happy to do it through a song though.

#barbie #barbie 2023 #the barbie movie #ken barbie #barbie movie #greta gerwig #ken #barbie ken #meta #barbie meta #barbie movie spoilers

[damnednyx]

Not to be pessimistic, but the end is near

#brb having a breakdown over this. #also its limited edition so for any MEN out there who want CLEAN DISHES. Introducting the manliest dish soap of all #funny ads hahhahahahhahahah

[rottingelysium]

only the manliest of men reblog

#196 #r196 #r/196 #rule #hornyposting #bottomposting #femboys #femboy not friday

[homunculus-argument]

If you met someone who was really into, like, idk, elevators, you'd probably first assume that this person is someone who's not only knowledgeable about a wild range of elevators, can name 15 different types of elevators (and the major subtypes of all of them, and all of them have like 10 subtypes and there's more structural nuances than that), is interested in trying out - or at least learning more about - any new type of elevator they hear of, and if you ask them to name their favourite type of elevator, they'd think of so many that they have a hard time choosing just one, and even if they have several least favourite types, that's way less than half the length of the list of the ones they like the best.

If you asked a geologist what their favourite kind of rocks are, they'd start listing them out by cathegories, there's so many different types and they're all really cool and interesting in their own ways. Someone who's really into birds is probably going to have a favourite kind of corvid, owl, parrot and some branches of birds you've never heard of. Everyone who's really into some specific subject generally has a hard time picking their favourite type, because so many kinds are cool in such different ways. And if you know of some different one that they've never heard of, they're intrigued to learn more.

Straight-up nobody who's truly, genuinely, passionately into the subject they claim to be really into will tell you "actually there is just one specific type that's good, these are the exact parametres of what they must be within, and anything that isn't within this narrow range is trash that I hate." This isn't a fan or an enthusiast, but a snob. And probably a poser, who doesn't even really like the thing in general but for some reason would rather present themselves as an expert with a refined taste, than just admitting that they don't actually really even like the thing in general all that much.

I don't get what the kind of men who claim to be some sort of Paragon Manliest Heterosexual Man try to achieve by boasting about how picky they are about women. Like oh, the only women who are even passably attractive to you are within this exact 3-year age range, within these height and weight ranges, education level, religious beliefs, political ideals, and so on? Yeah sorry but you're clearly far less into women than the dude who'll go full Johnny Bravo at any female figure he encounters and is currently shagging women beyond your comprehension.

[cerasumart]

Only the manliest of men can pull off wearing this.

#tadc #jax #tadc jax #jax tadc #the amazing digital circus #the amazing digital circus jax #jax fanart

[fredwkong]

I desperately need help from the himbo maker! I am tired of being treated like a child because of my baby face and hairless skinny body. Can himbo maker help that no longer be the case?

You receive an email notification. It looks like ordinary chain mail at first: “Click here and Become a Real Man in Seconds!” When you click it, the screen blacks out. Great. A virus. Then, the command line starts to scroll, like you’re getting a message.

Himbo_mkr: Dude, a true himbo can grow as much hair as he wants.

You blink, feeling suddenly a little bit motion sick. When you reread the message, you nod. You’re not a himbo, but ever since puberty, you’ve gotten hairier every year. You scratch your skinny belly, feeling tangles of dark hair run through your fingers.

Himbo_mkr: A true himbo shows off his curves, because he loves to eat.

Again, you feel briefly nauseous. Must have been some of the cake you had for lunch, you think, as the feeling fades. You’re not a himbo, but you love showing off how thick you are. You jiggle your big belly and strip off your straining T-shirt, revealing your nipple piercings. You aren’t sure why you were ever worried about your manliness, you know that the manliest men are the biggest and the hairiest, plus you’ve got the brains to really use your brawn.

Himbo_mkr: A true himbo’s got no thoughts in his head, bro!

The command line vanishes, and the computer boots back up like normal. You stare at the home screen, your mouth hanging open. You don’t think much, just eat, fuck, and sniff your hairy body. It’s the perfect life for a thick, hairy himbo like you.

Want to chat with the Himbo Maker? He loves to twist your words, so be careful what you're asking for.

#male transformation #mental change #answered ask #reality change #male tf #dumber tf #hairy tf #himbo maker #himbofication #fat gain tf #all fwkong

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

hi! can i request ken x (male) reader who’s from texas and breaking ken’s idea of the patriarchy (mostly the realities of cowboy life lol) thank you!!

"Now what're you supposed to be, a cowboy or somethin'? Because it looks like you're goin' to a fashion show upstate."

Blinking owlishly, Ken spun around on his heels, coming face-to-face with you. He looked at your clothing up and down, noting you had a hat similar to his, along with ripped jeans, cowboy boots, and a buttoned plaid shirt.

His eyebrows furrowed with confusion, not seeing an apparent difference.

Nevertheless, he realized you were another human male who was trying to talk to him, and he was excited! This was his big chance to learn more about the patriarchy of the Real World!

But he didn't wanna let his eagerness show too much, so he leaned against a nearby pillar, keeping the books tucked against his side.

"Nah, I ain't goin' to no fashion show....partner..." He made a poor attempt at mimicking your accent, which he noted was heavily Southern, and it took all your willpower not to laugh your ass off.

Yet you couldn't help chuckling anyways, which made the blond pout as he adjusted the brim of his hat. "Awh I'm only teasin'." You shook your head. "I will say it does fit ya pretty good. Haven't seen anything like that back in Texas."

"...oh really? Thanks!" He put a big smile back on, trying to sound cool and casual. "Sounds like a fun place. I'm just here..seeing what this world's all about...getting accustomed to the patriarchy. Man, I wish Barbie told me about-"

"Hold on..." You stopped him in his tracks, being perplexed by several things he just said. "What about the patriarchy? You act as though it's a lifestyle-"

"Is it not? Because I see it all around us!" He spread his arms out. "It's incredible! Everything's backwards but yet...I'm just amazed! This world caters to us men!" Then he stepped closer, showing you the books in his hands depicting studies of horses and patriarchy, a sparkle in his eye. "Look, these books have already taught me so much!"

You blinked, taking one of them and frowning as you recognized the barcode as being from the school your cousin attended. "Ya realize you stole these from a school library, right-?"

"Back in Barbieland, we Kens had none of this stuff!!" He ignored your remark, yanking the book from your hands as he continued to babble on and on and how "awesome" the patriarchy is while pointing to a nearby horse statue.

He's acting as though this was the first time he's ever heard of it, firmly believing that it's all about men and horses.

That would've convinced you that this guy was either insane or living under a rock all his life....had he not mentioned "Barbieland", "Barbie", and "Ken".

'As in...the dolls my little cousins played with?' You pondered. 'Well it would certainly explain the outlandish outfit..and how it doesn't look like any lights are on upstairs...'

"So.." You cleared your throat, he was quick to shut up and let you continue, blinking as you offered your hand. "Before I forget...the name's [y/n]. A pleasure to meet ya."

He studied your gesture intensely, before putting forth his manliest handshake possible, his eyes lighting up when you laughed and complimented his strong grip. "And I'm Ken, the pleasure's all mine."

"Yeah, I figured."

"Well, [y/n]. You seem to embody everything a human man is, so...you got any advice for a fellow man who only just recently learned of all these great luxuries?" He raised an eyebrow.

You thought about it for a few moments, letting his hand go as your gaze went back to the books tucked under his arm. "Yeah, uh..for one, ya seem to be holdin' onto this "idea" that patriarchy's all about the horses. I hate to break it to ya....but it ain't that simple."

"....wait, it's not..?" He blinked in bewilderment, looking to the books and frowning. "Are you sure? Because these books told me-"

"They're outdated an' used for history projects at school. They don't accurately showcase modern cowboy culture, which is what ya seem to be enthralled with."

"...these don't???" His voice became higher-pitched, becoming utterly devastated that he was lied to. "But if it's not about horses..then...then what about the statues, hm? And those officers riding them?!"

"Ken..in this world anybody can ride a horse if they wanted to. You just happen to see more guys than gals doin' it."

"Oh..."

"Look, it's true that more men are in charge of stuff here in LA, but the patriarchy is really just a messy system that harms both sides." You frowned slightly. "It ain't somethin' I'd wanna idolize."

"...but why?"

You sighed, unsure of how you could possibly dumb it down for him even further. "'cuz it's turned some of my own friends and family into vile dirtbags who think the world owes them everything. I'd hate to see ya fall down that same pipeline."

He nodded in slight understanding, but seemed rather sad as he hugged the books to his chest, feeling like his dreams were shattered just as he began to realize them..

"I thought it was just like Barbieland..."

"Ya'll got a matriarchy there?"

"...I guess..? They write all the constitutions and stuff."

"And...how do they treat ya?"

"Like we're accessories." Ken huffed, eyebrows knitted together in frustration. "They aren't terrible, but...I only have a good day when Barbie looks at me..which...hasn't been happening lately. I was thinking if I could show her the cool horses and stuff...she'll see me differently. See me for the man I can be."

You never expected for this conversation to derail into you trying to resolve a doll's identity crisis, but it's clear he was holding onto the misconception that the "Real World" was just opposite of Barbieland--where men had it all here and ruled without flaw.

That was far from the truth.

"Now changin' yourself for a lady isn't what ya wanna do, son." You patted his shoulder, causing him to look up at you in astonishment. "You're good enough as you are. But I take it that deep down...ya just care about the horses?"

He nodded again.

"Then..how about instead of reading this misleading garbage--" You tapped the binder of one of the books "--ya talk to someone who's lived the authentic cowboy life? Somebody with experience?"

Looking all around, he seemed confused for a moment, before his gaze returned to yours. "Like....you?"

"Yup."

"Isn't being a man and wearing this not enough?"

"It's a wee bit more complicated than that. It's hard work. But if you're interested in that sort of life, I can tell ya all about it." You offered, smiling as you watched the grin return to his face.

"I'd love that. Now if I don't need these stupid books, then I'll just--" He went to toss the stack into the nearest trash bin, but you were quick to intervene.

"Hey, hey, hey! Ya can't just throw away school property like that!"

"...but you just called this "garbage"."

"It's a figure of speech, Ken." Sighing, you just shook your head, taking the books off his hands. "You'll learn a lot about that here. Let's just go return these and I'll tell ya all about my life back in Texas. Whatever ya wanna know, I'll do my best to answer."

Ken's eyes shimmered at the prospect of hanging out with another guy..like all the other humans he's seen. That's all he truly wanted, really--just to bond with someone and not be in some aggressive rivalry unlike what he had with the other Kens.

He's lucky he ran into you.

"Can I ask something now?"

"Sure..if it's less than ten words." You humored him.

"Do..you..own..horses..? That's four." He grinned, counting on his fingers just to be sure of it.

"I do. Poor things couldn't take the dry heat of Texas, so they came along with me in a truck. I'll show ya pictures after we return these books."

Ken nodded eagerly, unable to hide his excitement as he followed you back to the library, ready to learn more about your culture.

#clanask #anonymous #barbie x reader #barbie movie x reader #ken x reader #ken carson x reader #male reader #texan reader #platonic