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adhd-wifi · 3 years

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Madam Yu is an Amazing Character, Here's Why

What's up guys it's been 57 years but I finally have another meta lmao. Shoutout to those who helped me decide on this one, and for those who wanted the Yi City analysis? Don't worry that's coming soon lol.

So Madam Yu is a really important character in MDZS, and here’s a whole meta post about why I think she’s (in my opinion) the best-written minor character in the entire story. Quick note though, this meta is going to focus on the animation specifically, because that’s my favourite version of Madam Yu (though design-wise, Audio Drama Madam Yu is best lmao). The novel and CQL versions will be mentioned, but I don’t quite remember all the novel details and I don’t really like CQL-Madam Yu, so yeah. ^^; Also, this is talking about her character writing, not her morality as a person if she were real. Feel free to disagree with the post, but here's my take on her and why I love her despite not liking her as a person.

Anyways let's goooooooo. Warning: This is pretty long cuz I have a lot of feelings about Madam Yu ZiYuan.

Madam Yu is a very well written character, easily the best written female and minor character in my opinion. From her very first appearance, we are shown much of her personality in very little time. In the novel, we are told of her fearsome reputation and why she goes by Madam Yu instead of Madam Jiang, followed by her verbal abuse towards Jiang Cheng in front of the other disciples. In the animation, she is shown talking down to the struggling disciples and scowling as soon as she sees Wei WuXian, despite smiling at Jiang YanLi moments earlier. In CQL, she is shown with a commanding authority over her husband and children, and in all three versions we’re shown how much she hates Wei WuXian. We also see her verbally abusing Jiang Cheng (Wei WuXian in the animation) in her introduction scenes, but also some degree of motherly love showed by how she adjusts Jiang Cheng’s clothes (or showing a kind smile to Jiang YanLi in the animation).

Her introduction scenes alone tell us the core important traits of her character: That she’s a fierce and prideful woman, that she is a powerful cultivator with a frightening reputation (the animation and CQL also make a point to show ZiDian in her hands in her introductions), and that she is an abusive mother despite having love for her children (but not Wei WuXian). We also instantly understand that SHE is the reason why Jiang Cheng is so uptight about saving face for the Jiang Sect when Wei WuXian never seemed to give a fuck about it (he does, but you know, teen Wei Ying lol), berating Jiang Cheng constantly about how he doesn’t seem to be doing well enough despite being the future Sect Leader. She’s kind of the epitome of the “It’s for your own good” brand of abusive parent.

There’s a scene in the animation, Episode 6, that strongly shows the discord between her and Jiang FengMian. This scene, though hard to watch cuz my favourite character is Wei Ying, is one of my absolute favourite character building scenes in the whole adaption, which makes me sad that it’s not in the other mediums (that I’m aware of). If you haven’t seen the animation, PLEASE go watch it because gods that’s my favourite version of Madam Yu.

In this scene, Madam Yu is relaxing alone in one of the pavilions late at night, and Jiang FengMian joins her. She’s civil at first, speaking without any real hostility as she asks what he was doing out so late. He offers her a gift in the form of a jade hairpin, and says he bought it because he thought it was beautiful when she asked why he bought “such a useless thing”. Jiang FengMian then tells her of Jiang YanLi and Jin ZiXuan’s arranged marriage being called off, and while she’s obviously annoyed, she still doesn’t speak with the same fierceness or hostility as she did previously.

That is, until Jiang FengMian makes a comment about how the children should not be forced into a marriage without love between them.

This is clearly a sore spot for Madam Yu, who immediately becomes hostile. Even the gentle music takes a darker turn for the shift in tone. She then makes a comment about how “Wei Ying always causes trouble”, and subtly looks back to gauge Jiang FengMian’s reaction. As soon as her husband defends Wei WuXian, she lashes out. She accuses Jiang FengMian of treating Wei WuXian better than his own son, and goes as far as to say that if Jiang Cheng had started the fight with Jin ZiXuan, Jiang FengMian wouldn’t have been in such a hurry to help him. In Madam Yu’s defense for this accusation, it’s not completely an unfair assumption, as Jiang FengMian does canonically treat Wei WuXian better, and the fact that he didn’t even try to deny Madam Yu’s accusation is very telling. Madam Yu then laughs bitterly about how Sect Leader Jiang will always be there to clean up Wei Ying’s messes before she walks away without a word, and the scene cuts to Wei WuXian watching them forlornly in the distance.

I really really love this scene as character building, because from this scene we are very quickly shown Madam Yu’s personal problems, and how she resents her unhappy marriage and blames it on the child she believes took it from her, but the scene also doesn’t hold back on showing that she’s the one being unreasonable and unwilling to talk things out because she lets anger, pride and resentment control her. We see how she was fine and willing to try and talk at first, trying to reason with Jiang FengMian about why the marriage should be carried out, because their daughter does like Jin ZiXuan, and she also wants the Jiang Sect to have good relations to the Jin Sect like the Meishan Yu Sect does due to her close friendship with Madam Jin. This shows that she does care about her daughter’s feelings and that she’s doing what she can to help the Jiang Sect. But as soon as the sore topic of the loveless marriage is brought up, she blames Wei WuXian for it and starts the argument.

From this scene, we also learn the extent of Jiang FengMian’s favouritism and how it hurt Madam Yu as well as their son, and having Wei WuXian watching their argument creates a nice transition into the next scene where he apologies to Jiang YanLi for ruining the marriage, showing that he feels guilty about the situation and most likely, the discord between his adoptive parents in general.

As the story goes on, we see that Madam Yu’s problem is basically based ENTIRELY around Wei WuXian. She gets mad at Jiang YanLi for peeling lotus seeds for him. She gets mad at Jiang FengMian for giving Wei WuXian a choice to go or not to go to the Wen doctrine. She gets mad at Jiang Cheng for trying to calm her down and berates him for not being as good as Wei WuXian. As the audience, we are more sympathetic to Wei WuXian’s point of view, and so far Madam Yu comes off as an abusive bitch who hates him for no reason.

Then after the whole XuanWu incident, we get the scene where Madam Yu storms in on Wei WuXian’s conversation with Jiang FengMian and Jiang Cheng. And holy fuck does it make her seem even more unredeemable than she already was. She comes in right as Jiang FengMian is scolding Jiang Cheng for not upholding the family values, refusing to recognize Wei WuXian’s accomplishment and saying he was bound to bring ruin to the Jiang Sect sooner or later. When Jiang FengMian asks her why she was there, after all it’s common knowledge that she doesn’t care about Wei WuXian’s injuries, she intentionally aggravates him by literally grabbing and shoving Jiang Cheng into her husband’s face, forcefully reminding him that Jiang Cheng was their “true son”. She accuses him of disliking Jiang Cheng because she was the mother, then accuses him of actually being Wei WuXian’s real father. And with that, we instantly know what he whole fucking problem is.

It’s jealousy. She had been jealous of Jiang FengMian’s feelings for CangSe Sanren this whole time, and took it out on an innocent child who lost his family at a young age. All that unreasonable, misguided resentment, all directed towards a dead woman’s son. A dead woman her husband was most likely in love with, who hadn’t even returned those feelings.

Personally, when this scene showed up, I decided, “Yup, I fucking hate this bitch.” But I will say this, this scene was also such a good character building scene. It amplified the drama, always necessary in ancient Chinese stories, and was a catalyst that led to a very important plot point: Wei WuXian’s promise to Jiang Cheng.

Time to talk about how Madam Yu actually functions as a plot-driving character!

As I just said, this scene drove Wei WuXian to make the promise of becoming Jiang Cheng’s right-hand man in the future, and it was a promise he had fully intended to keep. Madam Yu, and to a lesser extent also Jiang FengMian, were the driving force behind that decision. By now, we as the audience fully understand the core factors of Wei WuXian and Jiang Cheng’s insecurities. Wei WuXian feels like he doesn’t have a proper place in the Jiang Family because of Madam Yu, and Jiang Cheng feels like he’s never doing enough to please either of his parents. The abuse from Madam Yu and the neglect from Jiang FengMian weighs down on Jiang Cheng’s shoulders constantly as he feels unloved by both parents, meanwhile Wei WuXian believes he is what ruined the love for the family just by being alive.

To me, Madam Yu is the strongest catalyst character in the story because she drives the story’s two central characters, Wei WuXian and Jiang Cheng, in a way that both explains and exploits their insecurities and the decisions they make because of those problems. She is legitimately the primary reason why both boys are so messed up (though Jiang FengMian played no small part in that too), and we feel the effects of her actions on the two of them long after she's dead. Which brings us to the big topic of her death.

Now, let's be real, Madam Yu was still kind of a fridged woman like Wen Qing and Jiang YanLi. However, in my opinion she was at the very least a fridged woman done right. The reason for this is that both Wen Qing and Jiang YanLi were overall much weaker characters (especially in the novel) and essentially both died for no real reason except to cause more tragedy and pain for Wei WuXian to push him to his death. They both only died to set up Wei Ying's death, which is why I'm furious about that, but that's for another post (let me know if y'all want it lol). But Madam Yu's death? Her death was far, far more significant and there's a huge reason why a lot of fans, regardless of which adaptation they follow, agree that Madam Yu's last scenes were her best ones.

Now, onto the analysis of the massacre of Lotus Pier. It started with Wang LingJiao’s pompous ass waltzing in and demanding that they chop off Wei WuXian’s hand and submit to the Wen Sect, even after Madam Yu violently lashed out at Wei WuXian with ZiDian to the point where he shouldn’t have been able to move for days (the animation doesn't agree though cuz they wanted a cool fight scene lmao). This scene is very interesting for Madam Yu’s character, because you can interpret it in two ways; one that makes Madam Yu seem to hold SOME sympathy for Wei WuXian as a member of the Jiang Sect, or another that shows her tactical insight as well as her pride for her Sect and status, or even both. Later in the story, Wen Qing reveals that Madam Yu hadn’t actually hurt Wei WuXian as badly as she claimed, and we can interpret this as either her not truly wanting to cause lasting damage to Wei WuXian, or that she knew there would be a fight regardless and made sure Wei WuXian would be able to fight the Wens off along with her and Jiang Cheng. Madam Yu has previously made it clear that she believes in Wei WuXian’s skills in combat and cultivation, shown in her berating comparison of him and Jiang Cheng, so it would make sense for her to keep one of the Jiang Sect’s strongest fighters on his feet while putting on a show for Wang LingJiao in case it was enough to satisfy the Wens into leaving them alone for the time being (while probably finally having an excuse to act violently against the poor kid she hates maybe). Personally, I do think it is more of the latter, but I also don’t think Madam Yu is one to turn to physical abuse too much. Yes, she slapped Jiang Cheng in the shoulder in the novel introduction and shoves him around when she’s angry, but aside from that we have no reason to believe she actively and frequently engages in physical abuse against them as they never seem to be scared of her in that way, and Jiang Cheng was particularly horrified and scared when she did hit Wei WuXian in that scene with Wang LingJiao, so I lean towards believing it was a rare occurrence (not that emotional abuse really any better, but you know.)

Quick bonus point, I love how in CQL she just nods at JinZhu and YinZhu and they immediately know what to do, and also when she trusted them to hold Wen ZhuLiu off while she escaped with the boys. It really shows how close the three of them are despite being mistress and servants, having grown up and trained together. JinZhu and YinZhu are criminally under-utilised and I will be forever bitter about it.

In the scene that follows, the animation has my whole heart once again. Mostly because it was the best fight scene don’t @ me, but also because it showed her fighting side by side with Jiang Cheng and Wei WuXian. Madam Yu took the frontline first, taking out the large group headed towards them before letting the boys rush forward ahead of her to fight, only taking over the main fight when Wen ZhuLiu entered the fray. During their battle, Wen ZhuLiu used the body of a dead Wen to block her attack, blinding her with blood as she paused in shock at the unexpected action. Realizing she could not win the unfair fight, Madam Yu quickly switched tactics and escaped, aiming to make sure that the Jiang heir survived. I really liked seeing her fight alongside them, even though it doesn’t totally make sense with Wei WuXian’s injury, because it does give a better look into them being able to function as combat partners. It is implied that Madam Yu trained them more than Jiang FengMian did and that'sthe headcanon I go for myself, so I enjoyed that scene a lot. Then comes her biggest defining moment, her final scene with Jiang Cheng and Wei WuXian. Please note: This is 100% the animation and why anime-Madam Yu is best Madam Yu.

Madam Yu shoves Wei WuXian into a boat, screaming that this was all his fault. She knows it’s over, that there’s no chance of winning this fight, so she gives ZiDian to Jiang Cheng, and tells him, in the softest voice we’ve ever heard from her, to leave. When Jiang Cheng starts begging her to escape with them, she gives into her emotions and pulls her son in for a hug, telling him he’s a good child. Jiang Cheng is shocked, likely never having received her affection like this before. Here, Madam Yu has no reason to hide her feelings anymore, because she knows she's going to die, and she knows she cannot bear to flee Lotus Pier as she is the Jiang Matriarch and has her pride. She spares Wei WuXian, but I don't think it's because she wants him to live. I think she spared him to ensure her hot-headed son will have someone to protect him, because she knows that Jiang Cheng will absolutely try to save her, and because she fully believes that Wei WuXian absolutely will fulfill that promise. She knows Wei WuXian is loyal to the Sect, and more importantly, to Jiang Cheng. She knows that while Wei WuXian is more reckless and impulsive, Jiang Cheng is the one who reacts more emotionally. Just like herself. When demanding that Wei WuXian give his life to protect Jiang Cheng, she’s not simply giving him an order as a master to a servant. She was telling him, in her own way, that she cannot protect Jiang Cheng as she believed she was doing any longer, and entrusts that task to Wei WuXian, because he’s the only person who can do so. In this very moment, she knows she’s walking to her death, and she knows she would never see her children again, and doesn’t know if her husband would even return for her, because she genuinely believes she’s unloved by him. So, she gives her family to Wei WuXian in the worst way possible, and we see her biggest flaw of her unyielding pride also being her greatest strength as she fights to protect her family and home one last time.

This scene, this GODDAMN scene, is Madam Yu’s most defining moment as a catalyst character, because now her character has served its full purpose. It’s the moment both we as the audience, AND Wei WuXian and Jiang Cheng, see that she is more than an abusive, jealous mother. She is more than just prideful and fierce. She’s also a “real” person with emotions and problems she never managed to work out, but did truly love her son, her family, her sect. But she was also never going to be redeemed, because she refused to face her own demons even to the very end. She was such a prideful and stubborn person, that she died upright, holding on to her sword in a refusal to kneel to the Wens. And for Jiang Cheng, to see the proudest, most powerful person he knew, dead and disrespected by Wen Chao and Wang LingJiao, well, can you blame him for snapping?

Madam Yu’s presence in the story was primarily to set up the conflict between Jiang Cheng and Wei WuXian. Her problems, her abuse, caused them to develop insecurities that became their worst flaws, with Jiang Cheng always feeling inferior because she always told him he was inferior, and with Wei WuXian’s guilt and tendency to blame himself for anything that goes wrong around him. Jiang FengMian’s lousy parenting and neglect (y'all want an analysis on him too cuz he's honestly a really interesting take on a bad parent imo), which is also a form of emotional abuse by the way, shouldn’t be ignored, but Madam Yu is simply the better and more impactful character. We see how her starting arguments with Jiang FengMian push the boys into heartfelt talks, leading to the promise between them before Lotus Pier fell. We see how she set up Wei WuXian’s feeling of owing an unpayable debt to the Jiang Sect, and to her for sparing his life to protect her son. But she also wasn’t simply a plot-device-abusive character type. She is fully shown to have her own motivations, her own problems unique to her, and her own strengths and flaws in ways that a lot of other minor characters don’t get, especially in the animation. Hell, not even Jiang YanLi, a character supposedly being more significant than her, got such an in-depth character. Madam Yu isn’t a developed character by any means, but she has a lot of depth, and the impact she left on both the audience and the canon characters is felt long after she’s dead. When Jiang Cheng and Wei WuXian break things off, Jiang Cheng talks about how Wei WuXian is the perfect disciple of the Jiang Sect, and that leads to Wei WuXian leaving so he “doesn’t cause them any more trouble”. Wei WuXian cannot abandon the ideals of the man who took him in all those years ago, but he also felt that he had given his all to Jiang Cheng already in his golden core, and thus he felt that he should respect Madam Yu’s presumed wishes and stop causing more problems for them. Even far, far later on, Wei WuXian still feels guilt towards her and Jiang FengMian’s death and wishes to pay respects, but doesn’t argue with Jiang Cheng when he’s told that he doesn’t deserve even that. And honestly, we also just know who’s fault that unreasonable guilt really is.

I say Madam Yu is the best minor character, and a fridged character done right, because she genuinely felt like an actual person, an actual abusive mother but also a human being with her own complex feelings while also being an overall bad person who (arguably) needed to be out of the protagonist's life. To get a little personal for a moment, Madam Yu strongly reminds me of my own mother, who is quite emotionally abusive, though not as extreme, which might have made me feel more realism from her than most other minor characters and definitely made me think that MXTX has some personal experiences herself. The animation is the best at this, because her tones and expressions change drastically here and there when it’s needed, plus her voice actress does such an outstanding job conveying her emotions instead of just shouting everything like the novel and CQL presents it, but she maintains her pride, the most defining trait, both her greatest strength and greatest flaw, until she was no longer needed in the story. A lot of stories with such a character tend to give them an emotional breakdown before they end their arc, but Madam Yu had none of that (...except...in CQL...I guess...yeah that’s why I don’t like that one). Her death was to push the story and the motivations of two male characters forward, and I agree that it’s not fantastic given that most other women died within the same story for male plot progress, but her death actually felt, to me at least, like it also had a genuine purpose to her own character as well as the plot. Wen Qing’s death was heartbreaking to me because I love her and she is my QUEEN, but narratively pointless especially since Wen Ning came back and in the end she was only really there to perform the golden core transfer. Jiang YanLi’s death was just...utterly unnecessary man pain. I have made no secret of hating how her death was handled.

With Madam Yu, I personally really liked that she essentially was an irredeemable person that would never change herself out of pride so she almost needed to die, but was still human nonetheless. And going by MDZS’s heavy theme of grey morality, she fits the theme perfectly. And that’s why, while Madam Yu may be an abusive and terrible person, she’s easily one of the strongest characters in the whole story, right up there with Wei WuXian, Jiang Cheng, and Jin GuangYao in my opinion.

I hope y’all enjoyed this monster of a post of me rambling about the angry purple lady.

#yu ziyuan #madam yu #mdzs #mo dao zu shi #cql #chen qing ling #the untamed #mdzs meta #my meta #mdzs donghua #my posts #my ramblings #there are a bunch of things i had to leave out im mad lol #but it would've been too long #so uh #feel free to send me asks lmaooooo

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keepholdingontobooks · 3 years

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BOOK REVIEW: DARK RISE (DARK RISE #1) BY C.S. PACAT (LIGHT SPOILERS)

REVIEW:

“When the past is forgotten, then it can return. Only those who remember have the chance to stave it off. For the dark is never truly gone; it only waits for the world to forget, so that it may rise again.”

-Excerpt from Dark Rise by C.S. Pacat from Uncorrected Proof

Set against the backdrop of a magic-less 1821 London, Dark Rise starts with a sense of urgency. Things half-told, and hinting at what’s to come. Details that should be kept in mind for when the inevitable comes, make all the more sense.

“Long ago,” said Justice, “there was a world of wonders—of what you and I might call magic. Great towers and palaces, fragrant gardens, and marvelous creatures.”

-Excerpt from Dark Rise by C.S. Pacat from Uncorrected Proof

Will Kempen has been on the run since they murdered his mom and her last words to him were run and a promise forged as her dying wish.

Told from multiple points of view, all the characters in place add to the layers of this complex and dark story.

Will, a boy on the run after his mother was killed

Violet, a girl forced to turn against the only family that she’s ever known

Cyprian, a powerful Steward-in-training who is searching for his lost brother

Katherine, a girl whose aspirations to secure an auspicious marriage put her right in the heart of danger.

James, whose dark magic and ruthless cunning make him a foe to fear and admire

(Excerpt from Edelweiss)

Usually, I’m not a fan of stories told from multiple points of view (more precisely, 2+ POVS). Only because I find myself invested in a certain character and want to know about their POV and storyline, and adding so many different perspectives loses that connection. It waters down my connection and makes it harder to root for someone if I’m constantly being shifted. With Dark Rise, although I didn’t absolutely love or particularly bid my time for all the different POVs, I will say that they lent themselves screen time.

“—Sarcean, the Dark King; the final eclipse; the endless night, whose dark reign will bring about the end of our world.”

-Excerpt from Dark Rise by C.S. Pacat from Uncorrected Proof

We follow along with Will’s journey in learning about the Old World where heroes and villains grappled in a war between Light and Dark. Magic, secrets, betrayals, control, were things that went hand in hand in this old world. Little by little, Will is introduced to this old and new world. Where descendants from the Light, have had a long vigil for the day that the Dark King returns with his evil beings, weapons, and his reign come again.

“I think what people were is less important than what they are. And what people are is less important than what they could be.”

-Excerpt from Dark Rise by C.S. Pacat from Uncorrected Proof

In the middle of all this history, he begins to question his place in the legend. What he must do, and why everyone seems to be looking for him.

Readers aren’t ready for the Dark Rise trilogy.

One thing with reading advance copies so far out of release day is that not only do you have to wait for release day for other readers to join you in a journey, but then you have to wait even longer for the next installment. And here I thought it was a duology and that everything will be laid out within the next book, so I didn’t have to worry that much. Yeah…somehow I missed the word trilogy and just jumped into the synopsis.

If you’re wondering if C.S. Pacat will hold back being a young adult novel, you really don’t have to worry about anything. When the dust settled, I was left kind of shocked that she would have gone there. For what she did to the characters in every sense of that statement. I’ll get a bit spoilery later on and will tag it. For now, I will say that although the characters are teens, readers have to keep in mind that this is a story that spans centuries. Though the characters are in a new time, there are old times at play here. A lot of secrets and revelations that I think don’t even scratch the surface.

“Was this how it had been in those ancient days? The lights in the world going out, one by one, as the Dark King’s forces marched toward victory?”

-Excerpt from Dark Rise by C.S. Pacat from Uncorrected Proof

Now, if you are waiting for another Captive Prince, you will not find Damen and Laurent within this story. Does James remind me of Laurent? Yes, maybe, perhaps. The similarities run in the shallowness of blonde hair, and in the veneer of calculating demeanor. Yet, there is a softness, a vulnerability that makes itself known until the last chapter. So no, this isn’t another story of Damen and Laurent. This is something entirely new, but with the cleverness of something dark and twisted that looms at every chapter.

“He was beautiful. A golden beauty, he might have been carved from fine marble by some master, but there was no one in the world who looked like this.”

-Excerpt from Dark Rise by C.S. Pacat from Uncorrected Proof

Will harbors a cleverness that quickly surmises the actions and unfolding of things and those around him. He holds a type of magnetism with his genuine and rightness that people come to him and believe he can be the hero they’ve been waiting for….

He harbors cleverness and quickly adds up the information

That last sentence in Dark Rise? Imminent.

Throughout the 464 pages, I felt like I was bracing for something. Like I was being kept from something. Although, I kinda deduced it still doesn’t take away from anything that happens later on.

“Later he would think back on it as the moment when he had understood, all the pieces fitting together into a picture he didn’t want to see.”

-Excerpt from Dark Rise by C.S. Pacat from Uncorrected Proof

Since I had a bit of a theory whilst reading, I looked at the details and the information through that lens. Pacat has said that she likes an unreliable character, and that comes through here as well. I do wonder how this trilogy will play out since I can’t see a good way out of it.

It almost hurts for everyone when some of the truth is unraveled (for some characters, and some of the truth because there has to be more to it). The last pages are even bittersweet. That dance of one knowing and the other believing in one thing whilst the opposite is being played out to the unsuspecting (this makes sense once you read it). And then when you take in the different players and how this truth changes everything.

There are some things that still don’t make sense, especially from Will’s involvement and knowledge that I hope is cleared up in book two.

As for romance, I would say in this regard we can look at the blueprint of a slow burn. Of things at a realistic pace. The connections in this book are…transcending and interwoven. There is a lot to unpack and theorize. If anything, it speaks to Pacat writing in introducing characters, situations, and consequences that are complex and can’t be predictably resolved.

I’m really looking forward to how everything will progress from book one to book two, and to its conclusion. There are just too many questions, and too many theories swirling around right now. Obviously with nowhere to go because the first book isn’t even out yet.

If you’re looking for that romance across enemies lines, the tension between a hero and a villain…Pacat heard you but one-upped you.

“There’s one thing I do know so well that it’s part of me. Him. The fact of him. The feel of him. It’s deeper than memory, deeper than self, carved into my bones. And I can tell you this. “Simon isn’t a tenth of him. Simon’s plans, his power, his ambitions are nothing. Simon can’t comprehend him, as the warmth of a single day can’t comprehend a night that lasts for ten thousand years.”

-Excerpt from Dark Rise by C.S. Pacat from Uncorrected Proof

This is where I get SPOILERY, so please do not read on.

It should have been a clue when Pacat cited Lord of the Rings as her main inspiration for the series, but wanted to focus on the “enemy within.” Because what do you do when the biggest enemy is out there but within you?

Again, spoiler—but, though I don’t know how there will be a good outcome, say that you’re told a big villain who wants to bring chaos, destruction, darkness to the world. That it wants to subjugate humans, and only those with powers, magic, having a place in the world, will one day come. That you must defeat it. Only to find out that that person is actually within you.

The way I see it is that Will, like James, is a Reborn, and although they’re from that time they don’t remember what happened during that time. Will has the Dark King within him but perhaps is awake yet. Will he develop different personalities, of sorts, when the Dark King is awakened? Will it take over Will (does Will want what the Dark King wants, will he fight to not be like the Dark King?), the door waiting to burst open, and for him to claim his throne? How do Reborns work in this world

One thing I will say is that sometimes with reincarnation and descendants I’m a bit unsure with logic. This might be what Pacat meant to do in the narrative, but at one point, it feels like we’re supposed to be feeling that Will might have a romance between Katherine and/or James. My problem with the logic is that just because someone is a descendant of a person you might have loved, doesn’t mean you’ll feel a connection/spark/passion/love with a descendant. You mean to tell me that the great granddaughter/son is going to give you a connection just because you loved their great grandmother? What if they have multiple siblings, who will you feel a connection with? Reborn, I get.

I’m intrigued with how Pacat will develop James and Will’s connection (I’m trying to be vague here), but damn. Pacat really loved the complications. THERE ARE SO MANY QUESTIONS.

SPOILER END.

Dark Rise though rich in details, secrets, magic, and darkness, it’s really just the beginning. There is a lot to come, of that I’m sure. The sense of something wrong remained through the entire novel until slowly, things start to unravel and slot to start the bigger picture.

In conclusion: C.S. Pacat is back.

(I highlighted so many passages/quotes, but I'll post after release day.)

#dark rise #c.s. pacat #dark rise spoilers #spoilers #light spoilers #book review #mine #keepholdingontobooks

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laisaxrem · 3 years

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Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Naruto Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Haruno Sakura & Tsunade, Haruno Sakura & Shizune, Haruno Sakura & Shizune & Tsunade Characters: Haruno Sakura, Tsunade, Shizune, Haruno Kizashi (mentioned), Haruno Mebuki (mentioned), Hatake Kakashi, Uzumaki Naruto Additional Tags: Sakura Week 2021, Sakura Week 2021 day 6: Family, Family, Family is not just blood, civilian kizashi and mebuki, civilian born sakura, tsunade to the rescue, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, i mean mental abuse, Angst, a little bit, One Shot, Tsunade doesn't give a fuck Series: Part 28 of This is Us (english version) Summary:

Sakura has never had an easy relationship with her family: civil by birth and from a wealthy family, her parents have never accepted her desire to become a kunoichi. On a rainy day, Sakura will find that family isn't always just the blood running through your veins.

Day 6 of Sakura Week.

Friday, 28th February 1680

«Sakura-chaaaan!»

Naruto’s annoying voice just outside her apartment door woke her up.

Turning around a little bit she glanced at the alarm clock that she kept on the bedside table next to her bed: it was only 7 o’clock in the morning and Sakura felt inside her the irrepressible desire to kill her friend.

For a moment she contemplated the idea of not getting up and waiting for Naruto to go away and leave her alone. Then she remembered who she was talking about and with a grunt came out from under the sheets.

Naruto was on the landing, his one arm raised to knock on the door for the umpteenth time.

«Oh, Sakura-chan, I was afraid you weren’t at home».

«If so why did you keep knocking and screaming early in the morning, you giant idiot».

«Uuh. Sakura-chan, don’t be so hard on me», he whimpered, pouting. «I felt alone at home… And my arm hurts».

The young woman sighed and stepped aside, inviting her friend to come in with a gesture of her head, then made him sit on her slightly battered sofa and placed a hand on the stump of his right arm infusing it with her healing chakra to relieve the pain. At the same time Sakura analysed the scar to make sure there were no active infections. Fortunately, everything was as it should be so the young woman sensed that Naruto had still abused his limb during training and gave him a good earful reminding him for what was probably the millionth time the indications they had given him to obtain the best chances that Hashirama-sama’s cells would take root when the prosthetic arm would be ready.

«Hey Sakura-chan, why do you still live in a chūnin apartment if you’re a jōnin?» her friend suddenly asked.

«Mmm». In fact, Tsunade-sama had offered her a new accommodation when Sakura was formally promoted to jōnin but she hadn’t thought about it too much and she had refused. «Maybe because this was the first home I could truly call my own».

«Uhh? What are you sayin’, you lived with your parents before you moved here».

«Mmm mmm».

In fact, come to think of it, exactly three years had passed since that day…

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Tuesday, 28th February 1677

Sakura had always hated ultimatums.

That’s why she found herself wandering the streets of Konoha as if she no longer had a home. Because in fact Sakura no longer had a home.

She thought she had finally found her way, her place in the ninja world: she excelled in the medical arts thanks to the guidance of Tsunade-shishō, she had reached an excellent level in taijutsu thanks also to the help of Rock Lee, she felt useful and necessary in the hospital where she helped both shinobi and civilians too. She felt she was getting closer and closer to her goal: to bring Sasuke home. And she were happy.

Yet there she was, walking like a zombie in the rain. She sometimes hated her parents; they had never supported her desire to become a kunoichi and in fact they had often even done what they could to get in her way. She remembered as if it were yesterday how much they had fought to not sign the forms for the admission to the Academy. In those days at the Haruno compound there had been screams, tears and slamming doors. Kizashi and Mebuki had believed they could discourage her with their denials and their constant postponement; it was evident that they did not know her at all.

Some times she could still hear their words in her ears. “You are still too young”, they told her, “you will fail and then you will come and cry to us”; or, when they tried to change her mind using logic, they used arguments like “we are not ninja, the Harunos never were. Trying to be what you are not will only make you feel worse”. Sometimes instead they decided to use the sense of guilt: “and if something happened to you what would become of us? Don’t you think about your poor parents? We didn’t educate you to be so selfish”. But in the end she had won and enrolled in the Academy even if almost a year late. She had hoped that her parents would accept her choice but that had not happened. Whenever she found herself having some difficulty in an exercise, or a test didn’t go more than perfect, her father looked at her with disappointment and with an expression on his face that said he expected her to fail while her mother pointed out that they had told her that this was not her way, that she had to live as a civilian like they did. During that time Sakura had fallen asleep crying many times.

Years had passed and she thought that by now her parents had hurt her in every possible way. She was wrong; how wrong she was.

Her father had told her at dinner that evening that they would be moving to Hana no Kuni soon and that she would go with them.

Sakura had vehemently protested telling them that in Konoha she had a life, friends, a career and that she didn’t want to leave everything to move to the other side of the world. “You’re a Haruno”, her father had yelled as he slammed his fist on the table, “and it’s time for you to act like one. You will come with us, you will forget all this nonsense and you will get married with the nephew of the Daimyō! Everything has already been decided”.

So Sakura had ran out and slammed the door, ignoring the fact that it was pouring with rain outside and that her light civilian clothes were not suitable for a walk in the rain.

It was now more than an hour and Sakura knew she had to go home and talk to her parents, reason with them and make them understand that she really couldn’t leave the Village, even if they were asking her, and sure as hell she had no intention of accepting an arranged marriage. Because inside her she knew she would slowly wither away if she gave up kunoichi’s career. Yet, even knowing this, even the idea of setting foot in that house again made her nauseous and no matter how hard she tried, she just couldn’t find within herself the resolve to go back there.

Eventually in her wandering she found herself at the edge of the forest where a large black tombstone stood proud in the rain. Sakura knew that place well and she knew what that stone represented and she was not too surprised to notice that a tall and slightly curved figure stood in front of it.

«Kakashi-sensei», she greeted him as she slowly approached the cenotaph.

«Hey, Sakura-chan, we haven’t seen each other for a while», he greeted her with a small smile, which can only be guessed from the fold of the one visible eye.

In fact, he was right. After Naruto had left with Jiraiya-sama for his training, all that was left in Konoha of the Team 7 were Kakashi-sensei and herself, who had begun to educate herself under Tsunade-sama’s guidance, so their team had been temporarily dissolved. Sakura knew that Kakashi was constantly engaged in A-rank or even S-rank missions and it didn’t surprise her at all: after all, her ex sensei was probably the most powerful jōnin in the Village and since Suna and Oto had launched the attack that had led to the death of the Sandaime and many other brave shinobi, those who remained were forced to face one mission after another, both to prove that despite everything Konoha was still strong, and to bring some money into the coffers of the Village. Kakashi in particular, perhaps also because of his fame, was tremendously in demand and in the last year and a half he had spent more time on mission than inside the walls. In fact, Sakura knew that Tsunade had given him a three-week rest period after he returned home for the umpteenth time with the chakra reserve at a minimum for the abuse of his sharingan.

(Sakura had once witnessed one of their squabbles because Tsunade had wanted to teach her how to heal people with exhausted chakra. It had been both fun and embarrassing to see her ex-sensei being scolded and treated as if he were a five-year-old kid).

«How is your enforced rest going?»

«Maa, maa, I feel like they’re holding me in a glass dome. I think I have reread Icha Icha Paradise at least a dozen times», the man complained, shrugging and pulling out the orange book long enough to show it to her before putting it back away from the rain.

«Honestly, sensei, I really don’t know what you see in those books. They are not even anatomically correct».

«You say so, Sakura-chan».

«No, the human body says so».

«I will not discuss about Icha Icha with you… And about the fact that you have read a book forbidden to minors under eighteen», he teased her, the light tone of one trying to pull a smile out of someone. «What would your parents say if they knew?»

Ouch. This hurt.

Instantly Sakura felt that weight that she had forgotten during the last minutes of conversation with her sensei return to her heart. Maybe Kakashi noticed her eyes darken as he turned to her just enough to look her straight in the face. The young woman could not hold up that dark eye that scrutinized her and lowered her face.

«Sakura, why are you here in the rain?» She didn’t answer, her throat tightened in a vice. She hated it when she felt this way and someone was nice to her because she felt like she could explode at any moment. The fact that it was Kakashi was even worse. «Sakura». This time Kakashi’s tone was harsher, the tone of voice that he would have used on a mission to get his companions to obey and Sakura found herself unwittingly straightening her back and getting to attention. «Look at me». She obeyed as if she couldn’t do anything else but she felt her throat tighten in a knot. «What happened? Has someone hurt you?»

She couldn’t help but shake her head. She wouldn’t cry, she absolutely wouldn’t cry. She was a kunoichi from Konoha, she was an adult, and she wouldn’t cry just because her parents were selfish.

«Did something happen to your parents?» Kakashi-sensei insisted and Sakura was surprised when she felt one of his hands resting on her shoulder, a reassuring anchor in that storm of emotions. «Come on, let’s go. I’ll take you home».

Sakura wanted to protest but lowered her head and followed him out of the field into the streets of Konoha. She didn’t even look where they were going, her eyes fixed on the jōnin’s feet, blindly trusting that he wouldn’t allow her to crash anywhere. Inside her she was already ready for the second part of that skirmish and she was trying to harden her heart just enough to allow her not to give in under the emotional blackmail of her family. But she actually didn’t know how she could do it. After all, she was not yet fifteen, and although genin far younger than her had been living alone from years, she was not an orphan and as an only child she was expected to follow the wishes of her parents.

Half an hour later Kakashi stopped and in a cheerful tone said: «Here we are».

Sakura looked ahead and realized that they were not in front of her parents’ garden but the door she had in front of her was the somewhat ruined one of Tsunade-shishō’s apartment.

«Oh».

She wanted to say something, ask Kakashi-sensei why he brought her there and not the house where she was born and raised, but he was already knocking on the door and a few seconds later it opened on Shizune.

«Yo», Kakashi greeted her, raising a hand. «I found a lost kitten in the rain and I thought it was yours».

«Sakura! What have you done? You’re completely soaked», her senpai scolded her before grabbing her wrist and dragging her into the house. «Hurry in Kakashi or you’ll let all the heat go out».

The girl did not turn to check but she heard the door close and light footsteps following them along the narrow and dark corridor, a sign that in fact Kakashi-sensei had obeyed the order.

The Hokage’s apartment was pretty damn small, certainly more than one would expect from the most important person in Konoha. It was completely unusual and against tradition and the Elders and the Council had tried to force Tsunade to move to the Senju neighbourhood or at least to accept one of the countless houses that had been offered to her and which, they said, were more appropriate to her role. Naturally, the Godaime had firmly refused, asserting that her small, damp and bare apartment was more than enough for her and Shizune, considering that she spent most of her life in her office at the palace.

Tsunade was sitting on the sofa in the living room, a small ceramic glass in her hand and an open bottle of sake on the low coffee table. In the other hand she was holding a large tome of medicine but when she saw them enter the room she closed the book and her blond eyebrows arch, creating a wrinkle between them.

«What’s the matter with you girl? You’re socked to the bone».

Sakura would have liked to reassure her and say that everything was fine, that there was nothing to worry about, lying and claiming that she had simply forgotten her umbrella on leaving the house. But maybe it was Shizune’s warm hand on her back, or the feeling of Kakashi’s eye on the back of her neck because Sakura couldn’t find the strength to lie.

«My parents have decided to move to Hana no Kuni next month and they want me to go with them», she let out in one breath, her voice low but calmer than she expected.

Her revelation was greeted by a moment of stunned silence, then Shizune blurted out: «What the hell does that mean?»

Sakura blinked like an old owl, amazed, because this was probably the first time she’d heard her senpai swear.

«They said I have to leave my life as a kunoichi and start acting like a Haruno», she continued in that cold and detached tone, as if explaining which procedure she would choose to undergo a certain operation on a patient. «They said it’s time I got to know the activities of the clan and bring honour to the family by finding a husband who can broaden the circle of our acquaintances».

As she spoke, Sakura couldn’t look her shishō in the eyes. As she repeated the words of her parents she felt her nausea and anger grow within her; how was it possible that they expected this from her? How was it possible that they did not understand her feelings in the least even though they were her parents, blood of her blood?

Sakura felt her eyes sting but never, never would she cry, not for that.

«Very well, let them go where the hell they like», Tsunade suddenly snapped, forcing her to finally raise her eyes. Her shishō was gripping the arm of the sofa so tightly that cracks were already starting to form in the wood and for a moment Sakura felt her heart break because she really hoped she would protest and fight to get her parents to stay. But after all, they were her blood family and Sakura was nothing more than an apprentice to her, so why should she protest? «But you won’t move from here», the Sannin added suddenly, the tone of her voice angry, while the wood gave up under her fingers. It was evident from her livid face that what she was about to say was the word of the Hokage and that she would not take no for an answer. «I didn’t waste the last year of my life teaching you everything I know to allow two ordinary people to drag you to the other side of the world to marry you to some preppy rich idiot».

«Tsunade-sama…»

«Don’t “Tsunade-sama” and “Tsunade-sama” me, Shizune», growled the Hokage. «I’m tired of those two. Not once did they give her the support she deserved so I don’t see why she should support them now».

Sakura would have lied if she said she didn’t fully agree with the woman, and hearing those words come out of her mouth took away some of the weight that oppressed her chest.

«And tonight you’re going to sleep here», Tsunade added. «In the morning I will take you to them and communicate my decision to Kizashi and Mebuki».

«Shishō, I can’t…» she tried to protest. Because, as touched as she was by Godaime’s feelings, the truth was that her sense of duty prevented her from considering that solution. And she knew that leveraging her good heart would do no good, not while she was in such an altered state, so she tried to use some logic even though all she wanted was to accept the invitation, lie down on the sofa and sleep until the following morning. «I don’t have my clothes or uniform or something to sleep with me…»

«Kakashi…»

«I’ll drop by and get what you need, Sakura-chan, don’t worry about that», came the prompt reply of her ex sensei who in a flurry of leaves disappeared from the living room, evidently headed for her bedroom in her house.

«You are my apprentice, Sakura», Tsunade continued, as if she had not just silently asked one of her jōnin to break through a window into the home of a member of one of the most powerful civilian families not only in Tsuchi but also in other Countries of the continent, including the Land of Fire. «Before being a Haruno you are my apprentice and I don’t intend to let you go like this». Suddenly the expression on her face softened and, after getting up and going to meet her, she placed her hand on her cheek with more tenderness than she had ever seen. «Don’t worry, little girl, I won’t let anyone take you away without your consent. This I can swear to you ».

Sakura nodded and allowed herself to lean on that rough hand as Shizune approached and placed a hand on her back. And for the first time since she was just a little girl dreaming of becoming a kunoichi, Sakura felt like she really had a family.

#sakura week 2021 #day 6 Family #sakura haruno #tsunade #shizune

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criesinauthor · 4 years

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AQUAMARINE AU: THIS TIME I WATCHED IT

If this tastes familiar, I posted a bullshit version on my main ❤️ but here is the REAL DEAL Avatar the Last Airbender: Aquamairne AU

⁃ Azula and Zuko are spending their last summer on Ember Island

⁃ Azula is being begrudgingly clingy because it's their last summer together before Zuko starts working for their father's company and "leaves her just like their mother did >:("

⁃ Speaking of, in this verse their mother left on a ship during the last time they took a family vacation

⁃ A horrible storm happened and she was assumed lost at sea

⁃ Azula hates the ocean, Zuko hates thunder

⁃ Iroh runs a little beach shop with boba on Ember Island and he's living it up, we stan a king who minds his business and doesn't exploit the citizens he pillaged!

⁃ One night, a horrible storm happens while Azula is forcing Zuko to watch Jaws

⁃ She rags on him for being anxious and calls him a hypocrite

⁃ Even though she wishes for him to stay...

⁃ But the next day Azula falls into the pool and is CONVINCED she saw a fucking person

⁃ Then Jet the hot, piece of shit lifeguard (who broke her brothers heart 2 years ago but he is still morbidly fixated on) saves her ❤️

⁃ That night they return and there wasn't a person...there were two!!! and they're Mermaids

⁃ And they're fighting really loudly for two mythical creatures in the middle of a beach town

⁃ It's Sokka and Katara!

⁃ Sokka is in Love with Yue. He knows this because he is constantly people watching and has figured it out

⁃ and Katara has heard every last detail of it over the course of Her Entire Life

⁃ And honestly? She would like that for herself, please. No arranged marriage just because she's a "Princess" and love "isn't real."

⁃ She hates that shit!!!! She wants JUSTICE for aquatic women!

⁃ So she decided to go on land and prove it's real herself an impulsive Three Days before Yue's wedding

⁃ Sokka came with her because he is Annoying! And also fascinated with Humans. And also really wants her and Yue to be happy :)

⁃ which will not happen if his little sister fucks up because she hasn't put any research in!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

⁃ So long story short, a storm swept them into this pool and they're arguing because Katara claims she's in love with "the seaweed mouth boy" and Sokka is like "katara love is more complicated than that" and she's like "but I can FEEL IT"

⁃ They stop dead in their fucking tracks when they realize Azula and Zuko have watched them the whole time

⁃ "Hello....Zuko here" Extends Gummy Worm

⁃ Azula is convinced they're crazy people and tosses it out of his hand which is fine and well because Katara Waterbends It The Fuck Back From Across the Pool

⁃ Which is enough proof for her they these are Real Mermaids From The Ocean SWIMMING in their uncle's POOL

⁃ But then the weird janitor boy who never talks and has Definitely killed a man (Longshot) comes out and they decide to book it

⁃ Next day they come back and uncle Drained the Fucking Pool which gives Zuko a minor heart attack and cracks Azula the fuck up despite her also being kind of worried.

⁃ But they hear muffled arguing from their uncle's boba shop and find Sokka and Katara wrapped in towels, totally fine, and Walking On Two Legs

⁃ Azula takes this as confirmation that they are, in fact, Fucking Imposters, until Katara waterbends gutter water onto her and she believes it again

⁃ She forces zuko to sacrifice his shirt and pants for them because he's wearing a wet suit even though he HATES walking around in just a wet suit like an asshole

⁃ He does so anyways and hates every minute

⁃ Despite all three of them protesting, Katara walks Right The Fuck UP to Jet and asks if he loves her

⁃ He does the whole "Ha. lol no. ur hot though ;) see you later ;)"

⁃ She is slightly demoralized but Soldiers On because her new friend Azula INSISTS she can make him fall in love with her

⁃ Azula has read every teen magazine so many times that she "has perfected a formula to make any man on earth fall in love in a matter of hours" she simply Chooses not to use it

⁃ Zuko and Sokka comment from the peanut gallery about how nonsensical that is

⁃ Until Azula implements operation damsel

⁃ AKA, we ride our bikes in front of Jet's house until he notices, then she throws Katara off of her handle bars to bait him into saving her

⁃ This Works but she did not tell anyone doing that on purpose was part of the plan

⁃ Cue Date!!!!

⁃ It's good but Zuko is sus and so is Sokka

⁃ Azula very pointedly (read: homophobicly) says Katara is Different and their relationship failed because he Lacks the Feminine Wiles girls like her and katara are Naturally Imbued with

⁃ That pisses him off but luckily Sokka reminds them the Fucking Sun Is Going Down and they'll turn into FISH AGAIN if they don't hurry

⁃ They bring them to the water tower and see them in Ambient Sunset Lighting as Mermaids for the First Time

⁃ Zuko & Azula: sure hope this doesn't awaken anything in me

⁃ (It does)

⁃ Jet, king that he is, eventually gets suspicious and starts pressuring Katara, assumes that there's something up because of "those two boys she's always running off with" and katara rightfully gets Pissed the Fuck Off at him, and runs away tearbending

⁃ Zuko goes after her and tries to comfort her

⁃ Cue the "why am I leaking? why does love hurt? why would someone love if it hurts this much" "because love is the closest thing humans have to magic :")" scene

⁃ Azula and Sokka are like "emotions are kinda weird, right?" "so right" on the bike ride to water tower, sweet water tower

⁃ Unfortunately Jet Follows Them and is Even More Suspicious

⁃ The next day Azula and Katara are nursing their respectively broken hearts over this with Jennifer's Body and Ice Cream

⁃ But Jet keeps hounding Zuko (and by extension Sokka, who wants to learn about more human stuff) at the boba stand

⁃ Where he figures out clearly these two gentlemen are Gay and hang out with her as a means for Zuko to prove he's Rebounded

⁃ Which isn't ideal but, he is interested in Katara again and they both want her to succeed so they take him there, hijinks ensue, Katara is invited to the Last Splash

⁃ (And Zuko does kind of want to prove he's over it so Sokka offers to take him and they all go to the mall together and get makeovers)

⁃ (Golden Opportunity for a crocverse crossover because you look me in the face and tell me mermaids wouldn't wear CROCS!)

⁃ Success! Everyone said, not knowing Jet would follow her home after the date, and climb the water tower, and see her and Sokka are mermaids, and break the ladder, and figure he can expose them on the news for being mermaids, because that makes so much sense

⁃ Luckily Longshot and Iroh recognized the betrothal necklace and whale tooth necklace in the bottom of the pool as Mermaid Fodder, something they often discuss at their monthly pai sho game, and went to save them before Jet had the chance to fuck shit up

⁃ Unfortunately!!!!!!!!!!! This means Katara and Sokka don't know about this by the next day and Zuko and Azula have to go save them from getting exposed NOW!!!!

⁃ Katara asks him if he loves her Now, and he says "heh. I'm allergic to shellfish" then pushes her in the water

⁃ Sokka dives in after her

⁃ Zuko punches Jet square in the Face then dives in

⁃ Then Azula, in a moment of love fueled bravery, jumps in as well

⁃ The sky is thundering, a whirlpool is pulling them out to sea and There it Comes

⁃ "You can have our wish, wish you can stay here" "What? Why would you do that" "We love you, Katara!" "I didn't know you leak when you're happy too!"

⁃ The Storm Hath Ended

⁃ Jet gets fucking fired

⁃ but Katara and Azula swim together and are best fucking friends while Zuko and Sokka have the worst most awkward love confession in the history of the world

⁃ They kiss and Sokka's finger scales turn blush pink for the next week

⁃ The end!!!! Love wins, people!!! And ozai got eaten by a shark off screen, roll credits! La la land!

#niche au #zukka #zuko #sokka #azula #katara #atla au #atla #mermaid au #honorable mention to azula katara and sokka talking about the merits of kindness #as zuko just swims all the way to the faresr goddamn buoy so katara can have earrings

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dragonologist-phd · 3 years

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Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age (Video Games) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Female Cousland/Anora Mac Tir Characters: Anora Mac Tir, Female Cousland (Dragon Age) Additional Tags: Gay yearning, thats it just a lot of gay yearning, I'm Sorry, pre-game Summary:

Anora Mac Tir knows what she wants- she wants to marry Cailan and become the greatest Queen Ferelden has ever known. But on the eve of her wedding, a visit from Sirena Cousland reminds her that there might be other she wants, as well.

(Alternatively, read below!)

It was the night before Anora was to be married, and try as she might she simply couldn’t get a wink of sleep.

Of course she couldn’t. How could anyone expect her to, with such a momentous event looming on the horizon? She’d known her entire life that she was meant to one day become Queen of Ferelden; tomorrow, with her marriage into the Therein family, that destiny would become official. And while any wedding had its share of preparations, the marriage of a future king and queen required a good deal more than a gown and a recitation of vows before a Chantry mother. There were public appearances to be made in front of the Denerim crowds, long speeches to be delivered beneath the Chantry roof, and of course a reception to be held for the visiting nobility who were traveling from all across the country to witness the union.

Anora had never been one to sit back and let others make arrangements in her stead; she had been involved in every step of the preparations, and had poured hours of effort into ensuring that everything would go exactly according to plan. Truth be told, she would be quite relieved when the whole thing was over and done with- the trappings of the wedding were important, a vital part of the image she and Cailan needed to display to the country, but Anora was long ready to turn her attentions to something a bit more stimulating.

She would have the freedom soon enough, she kept reminding herself. She just needed to get through the coming day. And although she knew a proper night’s sleep would help with that, that logic didn’t help as her mind continued to circle over the details she had so carefully planned out for her future.

The restless energy buzzed through Anora like a gnat she couldn’t swat away, filling her with the need to do… something. At last she threw her sheets to the side and rose from her bed, abandoning the pretense of peaceful slumber. What she needed was to move, to occupy herself, to do anything other than sit still and wait for morning. At the very least she could wander the palace gardens- perhaps the fresh air would be enough to free her mind until fatigue finally caught up with her.

As she pulled a warm woolen cloak over her shoulders, Anora told herself she wouldn’t be long. The last thing she wanted was for someone to come across her like this, with undone hair and tired eyes; or worse, for someone drop by her empty room and think her missing.

But as she stepped outside Anora was greeted by a gust of refreshingly chilled wind, and the night sky above was clear and full of stars, and for the first time that day she felt some of the tension leave her body. Even as the hour grew later and later, Anora found herself lingering, her thoughts drifting as she strolled aimlessly along the dirt paths. Perhaps there was no need to rush, after all. She’d memorized the guard’s schedules long ago, and knew how to avoid them; no servants had any business in the gardens this late; any nobles still awake were probably deep in their cups, just as Cailan likely was.

Just as Anora had convinced herself that her solitude was complete, however, a voice rang out across the gardens.

“Anora? What in the world are you doing out here?”

The sudden voice made Anora jump, and she heaved a sigh of annoyance as she realized she’d been spotted. The annoyance fled, however, once she realized who it was that had done the spotting.

“Lady Sirena? Is that you?”

A closer look revealed that it was indeed the Lady Sirena Cousland, who for some reason was perched on a garden wall, one leg hanging carelessly off the side. She laughed and leapt from the wall, heading towards Anora with a grin. “Oh please, don’t lead with the Lady. If you do, I’ll have to call you ‘soon-to-be Future Queen Anora of Ferelden’, and as lovely a title as that is, it’s quite a mouthful.”

Anora fought back a smile. Nobody else would ever speak to her in such a way, but this was Sirena- always ready with a teasing response, hardly worried about any offense she might cause. The Couslands ruled over Highever, and were, along with the Mac Tirs, one of the most respected noble families of Ferelden. That reputation, coupled with Sirena’s disarming smile and easy temperament, was a perfect recipe for the effortless confidence that constantly radiated from the youngest Cousland child.

That disarming smile was now turned upon Anora in full force as Sirena asked, “Really, what are you doing out here?” She tilted her head and raised an eyebrow. “Don’t tell me I’m interrupting a clandestine meeting under the moonlight? And on the eve of your own wedding?”

A huff of laughter escaped Anora’s lips even as she rolled her eyes. “Oh, banish the thought. I was just thinking how pleased I was to see you, and now you’re making me change my mind.”

Sirena just laughed again and wrapped an arm around Anora’s shoulders, pulling her close for a hug. Her long dark hair smelled of rain, and she wore a thick fur cloak over plain traveling clothes; she must have arrived very recently.

“How was the journey from Highever?”

“Too long, as always,” Sirena answered with a shrug. “But you don’t want to hear about a boring carriage trip through the rain and mud. How are you? I am genuinely curious as to what brings out so late on this of all nights.”

Anora waved a dismissive hand in the air. “It’s not that late. And I couldn’t sleep.”

“Too excited?”

“Too preoccupied, rather. There’s so much to think about for tomorrow. Every time I close my eyes, I remember yet another detail that I want to check up on.”

“I don’t doubt that,” Sirena said. “But don’t you have people to do that sort of work for you?”

“Of course I do,” Anora admitted. “But if you want something done correctly…”

“Do it yourself,” Sirena finished. “You’ve been living that motto since we were children.”

“And it’s still true,” Anora pointed out wryly. “Anyway, I could ask the same question of you. How did you end up out here instead of in our rather lovely guest chambers?”

Sirena shrugged and looked back in the direction she’d come from, her gaze traveling over the garden, toward the training ground, beyond the towers that looked over the Denerim marketplace. “Oh, traveling always leaves me nostalgic. I was just wandering around, revisiting a few spots before they’re filled up with people tomorrow.”

Anora could guess as to which memories Sirena was reliving. They had both spent many days at the Denerim palace, watching their parents go about the duties of nobility, knowing that someday they would take their places.

That knowledge had been with Anora for as long as she could remember; her entire life, she reflected, was a preparation for rulership, and it had always been a perfect fit. Even as a child, Anora had loved listening in on the courtly proceedings and hearings, things that bored Cailan to tears as he dutifully followed her lead. In sharp contrast, the silly games and childish play of the other children had always seemed, to Anora, to all be horribly dull.

But even at a young age, Sirena was hard to miss. Always something of a troublemaker, she was direct and honest and said things as they were without layers of political machinations. Her friendship with Anora was something of a mystery, even to Anora herself. But she had to admit there was something about Sirena’s easy confidence and strangely insightful remarks that managed to hold Anora’s interest where few others could.

“It’s been too long since you’ve visited,” Anora remarked, and Sirena’s focus shifted from the palace grounds back to Anora. Her dark eyes were, for a moment, unexpectedly thoughtful. But only for a moment- they quickly brightened again as Sirena gave Anora a warm smile.

“It really has, hasn’t it? We should catch up. And you obviously need to relax a little.” Her grin took on a mischievous edge. “And I have just the thing for that.”

“I need to sleep, not drink myself into a stupor.”

Sirena gave a bark of laughter as she poured the liquor into two glasses and held one out to Anora. “Cailan and his buddies are getting good and drunk out in the courtyard as we speak. Why should they get all the fun?”

The two women were back in Anora’s quarters, having quietly returned after making a quick detour in the kitchens to pilfer a bottle of spirits. Sirena now sat cross-legged on Anora’s carpet, the very picture of temptation as she waggled the glass in her hand towards Anora.

Anora simply rolled her eyes. “You’re relentless.” And yet despite the scoffing she sat down anyway, gathering her skirts around knees, and graciously took the glass. Sirena had chosen a strong liquor, one of the more expensive selections from the wine cellar; today, the choice seemed appropriate. “But I suppose I can’t refuse a toast on the eve of my wedding.”

“Exactly.” Sirena turned her attention to her own glass, carefully measuring out the drink before holding it aloft. “To the bride, and future Queen of Ferelden.”

Anora brought her glass to meet Sirena’s with a soft clink, and then swiftly lifted it to her lips and swallowed the entire drink in one quick gulp.

Sirena downed her drink as well, then laughed in delight. “That’s the spirit I was looking for! I must say, I’m impressed.”

“Don’t tell me this comes as a surprise,” Anora said with a smirk. “Handling one’s drink is a requisite of Ferelden nobility.”

“Ah, yes, I almost forgot. They fit that right between the lessons on Andrastian recitations and history of the Fereldan Rebellion.

With a grin, Anora held out her glass for more liquor, and Sirena happily obliged. As they drank they fell into conversation, a simple rhythm of chatting and drinking between two longtime friends. It was, Anora had to admit, a situation that she was not particularly accustomed to. Cailan was the one who happily entertained others for hours on end, the one who brought about conversation and laughter. Anora was the one who already was known as serious, severe, domineering. This reputation rarely bothered her- it was a good reputation for a future queen to have.

But simply being a woman chatting amicably with pleasant company was nice, too.

“Tired yet?” Sirena asked eventually. She gave Anora a look that was half-joking, half-sincere. “You can tell me to leave whenever I start to get annoying. Believe me, you wouldn’t be the first to kick me out of a room.”

“No, no, stay,” Anora assured her. “If you begin to annoy me, I will certainly let you know.” She giggled- an effect of the drink, of course, for under normal circumstances Anora was most certainly not a giggler. “Believe me, you wouldn’t be the first I’ve kicked out of a room. I’m not exactly known for my gentle disposition, am I?”

“Oh, please,” Sirena said, rolling her eyes as she poured another glass. “Who needs a gentle disposition?”

“My thoughts exactly,” Anora agreed. “Better that they think my too hard than think they control me. I decided that a long time ago.”

“I’ll drink to that,” Sirena said, raising her cup. She was quiet for a moment then, and Anora thought she may be dozing off. But although her eyes held a distant look, they did not close, and eventually Sirena said, “Anyone who would try to control you is an idiot, by the way. You’re smarter than everyone in this castle combined. They should just…get out of your way and let you work your miracles.”

Anora smiled, surprised to feel heat rushing to her cheeks at the compliments. She blamed the drink for that, as well; she knew her own worth and was hardly unaccustomed to recognition. A simple compliment from Sirena Cousland shouldn’t have such an effect on its own. She looked away, hoping the redness in her face wasn’t obvious to the other woman. “Thank you.”

“And you’re going to make a marvelous queen!” Sirena continued. “Ferelden is lucky to have you. I mean that, truly. Nobody else could do a better job.”

“Well, I should hope not,” Anora said. “I have been preparing for this my entire life, you know.” She sighed, tilting her head back as she thought of all the work she had put forth, and all that lay ahead of her.

Lost in her thoughts, she almost missed the next words spoken quietly by Sirena. “Cailan is lucky, too.”

Anora blinked, startled by the apparent change in subject. Recovering quickly, she gave a thin smile. “Ah, yes. I’m certain he’s thanking the stars that he will have someone to handle the details of his future rule. He’s wonderful with people, of course, but try to talk to him about economics or resource distribution and he’s completely lost.”

“That’s true enough,” Sirena agreed, pushing back a long lock of hair from her face. “Although I did mean something more along the lines of…” She paused, and seemed to fumble for words for a moment. “He’s lucky to be marrying someone he’s actually fond of.”

“Oh.” Anora wanted to say more, but she didn’t quite know how to respond to that. It felt such an odd subject to bring up- but her wedding was tomorrow, after all. Perhaps it was a natural point of conversation, after all.

“Not to pry, of course,” Sirena said quickly, noticing Anora’s hesitation. She paused, chewing on her lip for short moment as she regarded Anora with curious, measuring eyes. “I mean, you are fond of each other, aren’t you?”

“Of course,” Anora said at once. Realizing her reply came a tad too quickly, she sighed and leaned back against the wall, resting her head against the cool stone. “I’m certain you’ve heard me complain about him, and he can be quite the fool at times. But he has his talents, and he loves Ferelden, and he knows better than to try and order me about. We make a good team, he and I. We know each other, our strengths and weaknesses. As far as arrangements go, it could have been far worse.”

Sirena nodded, turning over Anora’s words in silence. She shifted her position until she, too, was leaning against the wall, close enough that their shoulders brushed against each other. “Do you think you could grow to love him at all?”

This time, the question did not take Anora by surprise; in fact, it was something she had often asked herself. “I don’t know,” she said truthfully. “But I hardly think that’s the most important thing in marriage. Especially between rulers.”

That earned her a chuckle from Sirena. “You’ve always been a pragmatic one.” Anora frowned, and Sirena gave her an apologetic smile before she playfully bumped her shoulder with her own. “And right, of course, I know you are. I only hope I’m that lucky if I ever get married.”

Anora was so relieved by the lack of judgement from Sirena that she nearly missed the implication in her words. Almost. Her brow furrowed, and she gave Sirena a questioning look. “If? Certainly you have your pick of suitors.” It only made sense- the Couslands were a family of wealth and renown, and Sirena herself was certainly not lacking in beauty. More than that, she was intelligent and skilled with a blade and easy to speak with; any lord would be lucky to win her hand.

But Sirena only shrugged, a playfully crooked smile on her lips. “Oh, there are plenty of men sniffing around for a chance at marrying into the Couslands. Some are even somewhat tolerable. But…”

“But none quite meet your standards?” Anora finished. Her tone was teasing, but she knew the feeling well enough. After all, if she hadn’t been promised to the future king at such a young age, she would probably have found herself in a very similar situation.

“They’re fine enough. Fine enough for flirting and dancing with at parties. But fine enough isn’t something I went to settle for in the long run.” Sirena sighed and looked down, tracing her finger around the rim of her glass. “It’s just that I grew up watching my parents, never realizing what a rare thing they had. They’re so in love that people have written songs about them. That sort of thing doesn’t happen often. Not when marriage is something for duty and politics and…”

“And pragmatism?” Anora asked pointedly, and Sirena gave her another apologetic grin.

“No offense. Like I said, you have the right of it. Eventually I shall likely choose someone, and I’m sure it won’t be as bad as I’m making it out to be. I know my parents would never marry me off to someone I dislike.” Her eyes flicked up to Anora’s face. “I just don’t think the odds of marrying for love are very high.”

Sirena’s voice was low and sorrowful, a startling change from her usual light tone. Without thinking, Anora reached out and put her hand over Sirena’s. “You never know. The future may surprise you.”

Sirena seemed startled at the contact, and Anora wondered for a moment if she was being too forward. But she didn’t pull away, and neither did Sirena- in fact, the other woman shifted her fingers, securing the grip. They stayed that way for a long moment, until at last Sirena recovered herself enough to straighten her shoulders and give Anora a bright smile. “I don’t know about that. But we’ll see.”

Something unfinished still lingered in her words, but for now she at least seemed comforted by Anora’s presence. Anora knew she wasn’t the most comforting sort of person, even at the best of times, but she was happy that she seemed to be doing some good. She gave a firm nod and continued, “And should you never get married, you would be just as well off. If I had been born to royalty on my own, well…as I said, Cailan and I make a good team. But he needs me far more than I need him.” Anora felt a small twinge of guilt saying that out loud, but it was true, and they both knew it, and saying it made Sirena laugh.

“You’ll hear no dispute from me,” she said. “In any case, I have far more exciting things to look forward to than marriage.” She stopped suddenly, and closed her eyes in apparent embarrassment. “Which is probably not what I should say to someone about to get married, is it? We’re supposed to be celebrating you, and I’ve gone and turned it bleak!”

“Oh, please,” Anora said with a laugh of her own. “I believe I’ve made my position on the whole situation rather clear. And I’m interested in hearing more of these grand plans of yours.”

Sirena still looked sheepish, but she obliged. “Well, Fergus will inherit rule of Highever. First-born gets all the perks. But I’ll still be around to assist. I’ll likely take command of our troops.” A small smile crept onto her face. “That’s something I’d be good at. I’d have them all whipped into shape in no time.”

“And if a lord swept you off your feet, you’d have an entire arling of your own to whip into shape. Troops and all,” Anora pointed out. Sirena looked unconvinced, and on impulse Anora added, “Or you could always come here to Denerim. Become a staple of the court. We certainly have plenty of troops that need the help. And I wouldn’t mind having a…”

Anora stumbled over the word friend. Even under the influence of the drink, it was difficult to let something like that slip out so easily. Anora was not accustomed to having friends. She had Cailan, of course; she had her father; she had servants and fellow nobles whom she trusted to varying degrees. But her friendship with Sirena was something different from any of that.

“…a confidante,” she said finally, hoping Sirena hadn’t noticed her momentary conflict. She glanced at the woman from the corner of her eyes, and was satisfied to see that she looked pleased at the notion.

“A tempting offer, I admit,” Sirena said. A smirk played on her lips. “What would my duties as a confidante entail?”

That smirk made Anora oddly flustered, and she had to glance away before she could respond. “Oh…this sort of thing, really. Keeping me company. Listening to me complain. Suppling me with alcohol.” She smiled and raised her empty glass in the air as an example. “You’re doing a splendid job already.”

“And those are just a few of many talents,” Sirena laughed. “I’m honored by the offer. I’m sure there must be fierce competition.”

“Oh, certainly,” Anora agreed. “But most of the other competitors care less about me and more about the power I will wield. They simply want to be close to the Queen.” She grimaced. “Or the King. It’s difficult enough to reign him in without my own companions making eyes at him.”

“Their loss,” Sirena said definitively. “All of them. Anyone would be lucky to have you as a friend, and as…well, Cailan is an idiot and a fool if he even looks at another woman when he has you.”

Maker, Anora could feel herself blushing. She straightened her shoulders, trying desperately not to show her sudden nerves. “I admit, it’s a pleasant change of pace for someone to rush to my defense like this. I certainly tell Cailan the same often enough. Honestly, I would hardly mind if he could at least be discreet about it. But he never thinks of things in such a way. And it certainly doesn’t help that he’s found so many who are ever so eager to indulge him. I’d be thankful to have at least one woman around who’s not chasing after him.”

It was a jest, but the possibility was a heavy weight in Anora’s chest, and she would be lying if she said it didn’t lighten when Sirena wrinkled her nose in obvious distaste. “Cailan? Maker, no.” Her expression faded into something more contemplative as she looked at Anora. “If I’m to be honest…I was always chasing after someone else.”

That was unexpected- it took Anora a moment to process her words. That same heaviness was back, which made no sense; why should she care if Sirena was holding a torch for someone after all, so long as it was not Cailan? “That’s an unexpected revelation if I’ve ever heard one. What happened to never finding love?”

“Ah. That.” Sirena looked abashed and quickly shook her head. “It would never have worked out. Not with me. They’ve got other things in their life. Other people.”

“Not married, are they?” Anora inquired. She didn’t know why she was still pressing. She didn’t want to know about this person, didn’t want to know who it was Sirena was pining after. But she couldn’t stop the questions from coming.

Sirena was quiet for a moment, although her dark eyes never left Anora’s face. “Engaged, actually.”

Anora’s breath caught, and when she spoke the words were soft and quiet. “Engaged?”

“But only for one more night.”

There was soft moment of realization, a quiet oh in the back of Anora’s mind, and before she could think better of it she whispered, “Then you still have time.”

And suddenly Sirena was kissing her. It was soft at first, uncertain, her lips barely hovering against Anora’s, but as Anora leaned in she became more confident and soon enough the kiss had deepened. Sirena brought a hand to Anora’s face, gently caressing her cheek, and Anora threaded her fingers through Sirena’s long hair as she pulled her even closer. It was like nothing Anora had ever experienced; this was no polite show of carefully cultured affection, no hesitant testing of what was expected of her. This was passionate and earnest and real.

Anora wanted more. She wanted to pull Sirena to her bed, to get even closer, to explore every inch of her body, to completely and utterly forget about everything else in the world-

And then it was over. Anora’s eyes fluttered open, and she realized Sirena and was hastily rising from the floor, muttering hurried, half-formed apologies. “I’m sorry- that was stupid of me- I didn’t intend-and tomorrow you’re-Maker, I’m sorry-”

Anora hurriedly stood as well, reaching out for Sirena as the woman was turning for the door. Her fingers brushed Sirena’s wrist, and although the touch was light Sirena froze in place.

“Sirena, I…”

Anora faltered. She was accustomed to knowing what to say. Knowing exactly what she wanted, and how to get it. But now…now she had no idea. She wanted to be the Queen Ferelden needed. She wanted to follow through on the promises she’d made. She wanted Sirena to stay. She wanted too many things, and those desire could not exist in the same space.

She couldn’t hold on to everything. And that wasn’t fair, not to her or Sirena. But it was the way things were.

“I’m sorry, too,” Anora whispered as she pulled back her hand. As she let Sirena go.

Sirena closed her eyes for moment, then nodded and left the room without another word. Anora numbly reached for the bottle she’d left behind and drained what little remained, trying to chase away the taste of Sirena’s lips. Then she went to bed, and once again she did not sleep.

Sirena almost didn’t show her face the next day.

But if she hid out all day she’d eventually have to explain why. So the next morning she dragged herself out of bed, threw cold water on her face, donned her formal attire, and watched Anora get married.

The ceremony passed in a blur, with the songs of the Chant and the words of endless speeches lulling the day into a hazy rhythm. The only moment that stood out was when Anora entered the Chantry. She walked in with her head held high, the picture of beauty and confidence draped in gold and ivory-white. Just looking at her sent a piercing pain through Sirena’s chest.

She was being ridiculous. Childish. Selfish. Sirena cared about Anora, and she knew this was what she wanted, and she had no right to the longing and jealously that burned through her.

What had she been thinking last night? She’d done so well all these years, fighting back those feelings, telling herself it was a passing crush…and then last night it had all come crashing out. Maybe it was Anora’s suggestion to come to Denerim. The idea of seeing her every day, of being so close to her…all while she was married to Cailan.

Sirena wasn’t capable of such cruelty towards herself. But oh, she’d been tempted.

At least the slip in her defenses hadn’t ruined Anora’s wedding. She was still here, betraying not a single doubt or worry as she recited her vows with clarity before the Maker.

And that was a good thing, Sirena told herself throughout the ceremony. The only thing worse than Anora rejecting her advances would be Anora risking everything she had and everything she wanted over her. That was what Sirena told herself during procession back to the palace. That was what she told herself in the reception held in the ballroom for the new husband and wife, when drinks were had in honor of the happy new couple.

Someone thrust a glass of wine in her hand, and Sirena realized with a start she was being called upon to make a toast. She wavered for a moment, looking across the room and meeting Anora eye to eye.

For the first time that day, Sirena thought she caught a hint of something mournful through Anora’s well-practiced mask of assured certainty. She remembered Anora’s lips against hers, wanting, drawing her in closer. She remembered Anora’s hand on her wrist, silently pleading for something she couldn’t voice. She remembered those whispered words. I am sorry.

Sirena raised a glass and gave the room a smile, big and bright, just what they expected from the ostentatious Cousland girl. “To the bride and groom,” she said, her eyes never leaving Anora’s. “To your bright future. I know you will do amazing things for Ferelden, and it is my truest hope that this life brings you every happiness.”

Anora smiled at her- a small, sad smile that that spoke volumes more than any speech and utterly broke Sirena’s heart. It was there and gone in an instant, wiped away as the next person stood to make their toast. But every now and then her gaze would return to Sirena, and that smile would come back. Never for long. Never noticed by anybody else. But Sirena saw it, and she knew she would never forget it as long as she lived.

#dragon age #fanfic #anora mac tir #cousland #anora x cousland #dao #ch: sirena #this was gonna be one chapter in a larger fic but it morphed and demanded to be a fic of its own

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reesefms · 4 years

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✩ — 𝒉𝒊 𝒑𝒂𝒍𝒔 ! i’m buzzing with excitement because we’re finally open ! i’m so excited to see everyone bring their muses to life , it’s unreal . i’m leia (�� she / her ) repping the est tz , which fits my #basic personality because i would kill for starbs iced coffee w/ oat milk . i honestly apologize in advance for how ramble - y & long this into is , it’s a little embarrassing ! i would love to plot with each & every one of you so please smash that 💛 if you’d like to ! you can find me at theweeknds#0379 on discord or we can use tumblr’s ims if you prefer !

* 𝐡𝐚𝐦𝐩𝐭𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐠𝐨𝐬 here and do i have the tea for you . reese is back in bridgehampton for the summer , living off the leblanc’s family $302 mil . must be nice to come back home to the hamptons , i wonder what her fellow class of 2017 grads think of her return . you know , she was known around town as the reveler and for bhs senior superlatives she was crowned as most likely to be late to her own wedding . i wonder if that still holds true today , a lot can change when you go off to ucla and study communications . either way , i bet she is still very audacious , blithe , negligent and depraved . hopefully this time next year the plans to stay in la and focus entirely on her youtube channel come true . in the meantime , i look forward to seeing her blast teen idle - marina and the diamonds at every hamptons function . it’s going to be a wild summer home , welcome back .

* tw : drinking , drug use , death , overdose , suicidal ideations if you squint

╰ ✩ 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚙𝚛𝚎𝚝𝚝𝚢 𝚕𝚒𝚎𝚜 :

the leblancs – an american made , household name . hollywood embedded so deeply in the bloodline , it made the rest world question whether or not a gene for acting existed . the leblanc women always seeming to marry into the business – actors & actresses going hand in hand , marriages supposed to last the test of time . however , for every card of luck fate deals a cursed one – messy divorces ending in vicious headlines , the media practically salivating for the next leblanc failure . every ending prompted with a – & when’s the next wedding ? ( side note : i was inspired by goldie hawn / kate hudson ! )

dawn leblanc’s determination to break the cycle had been admirable , the young actress entering a tumultuous relationship with a young musician , bandleader kurt rhodes . for four magical years the pair defied the world’s expectations , perhaps the leblanc’s would finally achieve perfection – climbing back onto the pedestal after being knocked down time & time again .

the fifth year brought reese elizabeth leblanc into the world , another girl slated to continue on the leblanc family legacy . the night had been stormy , thunder no match for her cries – as if the universe had known the blonde was destined to be a force of nature . her parents & the rest of the world fell in love with her , angelic golden curls & wide , doe eyes ( thanks to the leblanc genes ) masking the terror she became – born with an insatiable curiosity that drove her to explore any & everything .

dawn clung to the hope that reese would mature into perfection , hiring yet another painter to cover up scribbles in a bold , crimson shade of chanel lipstick . forks moved to the top shelf in an effort to stop her from emulating ariel , her favorite disney princess – the gold metal bound to ruin her curls . reese favoring time with her father , enamored by the vibrations raking through her tiny body as chubby , little fingers pressed against black & white keys .

the seventh year , the leblanc curse took its effect , gifting reese a divorce for her second birthday . this one messier than those before , kurt’s affair with a groupie , no less , plastered on every news stand . her grandmother quick to swoop in , reese & her mother moving in to hide away from the flashing lights . the eldest leblanc reminding her daughter that she should have listened all those years ago – musicians weren’t leblanc material . the blame never falling on the leblanc women – self - absorbed to a fault .

within a year of her divorce , dawn re-married , her co-star & american’s golden boy brent jacobs – the supposed new love of her life . as always , the media latched onto the news – eagerly sinking their teeth into the idea of a publicity stunt to rub the tarnish off dawn’s reputation . & when reese turned three , her family grew to four – savannah dawn leblanc entering the world much more peacefully than her older sister , wrapping every person around her finger with just a bat of her baby blues ( eye color seemingly the only difference between the leblanc sisters ) .

╰ ✩ 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚝𝚎𝚎𝚗 𝚒𝚍𝚕𝚎 :

as much as she should , reese could never hate her younger sister . the pair forging a bond that could be explained by no one despite their obvious differences . with only a shared mother , it shocked everyone to see just how similar they looked . dawn taking to the idea of pretending as if reese were the daughter of her second husband . her mother had always been too good at acting , a master at eluding reality & morphing it into an acceptable idyl .

savannah was the golden child in everyone’s eyes , reese cast aside as the other leblanc , the problem child . the blonde often found sulking in her room only to sneak out the window the second she got an urge to explore . the supposed , inherited acting bug had never bitten her , reese waving away any offer to star in a film or commercial . any attempt to drag her to an audition resulted in her either running away , or creating such a scene that no one in hollywood would ever want to work with her . a downpour on any project .

savannah took to acting just like her mother . the pair bonding in a way reese could never , frequently flying from their home in the hamptons to auditions in la . reese tagging along only so she could see her father , the only one who ever seemed to get her – dawn claiming reese may have been gifted the leblanc looks , but her moodiness all stemmed from her father .

it drove her insane , staring at her reflection in the mirror every night as if to ask what was wrong with her . why was she so different ? why couldn’t she be agreeable like savannah ? it fed her jaded soul , reese losing her innocence & rose colored glasses far too quickly . her realism tethering her to reality , able to see through the pink , glittery fog of dawn leblanc’s world .

she fought with her mother constantly , savannah always sneaking into her room at night to ask quietly , why won’t you & mom get along ? she’s doin’ her best re . reese never had the answer , always a heavy sigh as she brushed her sisters questions off . unable to explain that , while savannah was content with being her mother’s doll , she couldn’t bring herself to – not when she’d seen the world beyond the facade her mother & grandmother painted .

& like clockwork , dawn drove her second husband away – reese 16 & savannah 13 . the promise to co-parent kept , their split amicable despite the constant fights that had ended in broken dishes & reese quietly sneaking out – losing herself in a party , in noise to forget that silence could be just as loud , but more deafening .

╰ ✩ 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚠𝚊𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚍 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚝𝚑 :

reese couldn’t escape the hamptons or her mother fast enough , ucla her ticket away . the only dark cloud , leaving behind her sister . the two promised to text every day , savannah always welcome to stay with reese if their mother ever got to be too much – savannah much more adept at handling her mood swings , appeasing her mother with a sugar sweet smile & a promise to major in acting after graduation .

reese , however , had no idea what direction she wanted to go – communications her fall back in an effort to just choose something that didn’t require much effort . ucla her dream school for its social climate more than its educational one . & her freshman year marked the start of her youtube channel – reeses , which currently has a whopping 3.4 million subscribers . true to her surname , the blonde did find love in front of the camera , but also behind it as she vlogged her escapades much to the world’s enjoyment & her mother’s disappointment .

savannah & reese texted every night , updating each other & signing each text off with a forever & always . occasionally , reese would forget – too drunk or high to craft a text , always apologizing the next morning when she woke up to savannah’s worried texts . despite being the one that should look out for her sister , savannah always seemed to be looking out for her .

one visit sophomore year , savannah begged reese to take her out . her sister living a more sheltered life , one bound by strict bedtimes & after school acting classes or rehearsals . unable to say no , despite knowing she should , reese brought savannah along – letting her sister borrow her clothes , the two starting early with a bottle of grey goose as they got ready .

reese always had a tendency to loose herself in a party , letting the night drag her wherever it wanted . losing sight of savannah had been her first mistake . telling savannah to have a good time , try something new had been her second mistake . not being there had been her third & final mistake , savannah’s introduction to a line of cocaine her finale . the screams of someone call 911 still keep reese up at night – remembering vividly what it felt like to see her sister’s body limp on someone’s bed . the od unexpected , the line bad – mixed with something too strong for someone so pure to handle . & reese was left to blame herself . she killed her sister .

the world mourned the loss of savannah leblanc . reese’s relationship with her mother more estranged , casting the blame on her just as she had already . she took a 6 month hiatus from vlogging , reese unable to do anything but drink herself into a coma like sleep . it was far easier to numb herself , bags under her eyes hidden by sunglasses .

her re-entry online had shocked everyone . her vlog’s no longer carrying the light air despite how badly she tried to force it . reese no longer the same , more self deprecating than before & much more reckless . her love of vlogging no longer stemmed from pure enjoyment , but a need to be seen , to no longer feel alone . convinced that she was a hurricane , destroying everyone she could ever get close to . yet unable to bring herself to care for her safety because it should’ve been her that night , not savannah .

reese has a blatant disregard for herself , willing to push the boundaries so far for the sake of a thrill , to feel something beyond the suffocating culpability that feels like a choke hold around her neck . & if she ends up not coming back from it , who cares right ?

she still pays her sister’s phone bill , never missing a beat – texting her updates , rambles , apologies . the texts signed with their infamous forever & always .

so ! i’m currently working on a lil connection page with ideas , but for now please accept this mess 💛

#╰ ✩ — 𝒍𝒆𝒃𝒍𝒂𝒏𝒄 𝒓𝒆𝒆𝒔𝒆 › i’m faded away ; you know i used to be on fire · tidbits #entitled:intro #i am a mess im so sorry pals

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ahiddenpath · 4 years

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Epilogue Celebration: Couples

Eyyyy, sorry to hit you up twice in one day, but... I’m behind, so here we are!

I will chat a bit about 2028 couples below the cut!

Keep in mind that the crew are all adults in this discussion.

Taichi

Look, I’m sorry, I really am, but... Ya boi is a mess, romantically. I really can’t wait to get into this in a fic, but Taichi chose a difficult life as an ambassador in the time when Digimon and humans are first coming together. And while I think Taichi is good at surface-level flirting (and also has a strong mind-body connection and physical stamina for... adult activities), I... Really... Don’t think... He Relationships well. Er. Sorry.

So, um... I think his dating life is both varied and... stormy. Lots of casual dating of all kinds of people, but it’s rare for him to introduce anyone to friends and family. Plus, in the wake of... Kizuna events, he starts off adulthood... With a lot on his heart and his mind.

It takes him a long time to find the mother of his child, and I wouldn’t be surprised if they didn’t marry/if they separated/if he somehow ended up with someone else.

The good news is that Taichi learns and grows from everything. I know that someday, he’ll find the right person, and he’ll always do his best for his son.

Yamato and Sora

I’m influenced by @adventure-hearts on this one, but I think Yamato and Sora dated on-and-off again during different stages in their lives. They both have enormous dreams that came before their love life, until one day... I can’t tell you if it was emotional, or if their paths suddenly merged somehow, but someday, they fell into step and stayed there.

I think they’re very happy together, but have an unconventional life. They spend a lot of time apart because of their jobs, and they rely on their wide net of family and friends to help with the kids.

I think they are extremely well suited to each other and have a great marriage, but... They both have a tendency to internalize, pull back, and brood. They’re constantly working on their communication.

Koushiro

I think that Koushiro struggles romantically in his late teens/early twenties. He seems to very much want a girlfriend, but he never can spare the time to look for one... And when his friends set him up, it tends to... Go... Poorly. Poor dude puts his foot in his mouth, freezes, or just... doesn’t know how to relate to people outside of digimon and computers/math/science. He also tends to try too hard, to the point where it’s a Bad Look.

My opinion is that Koushiro needs someone... very specific to handle his, um... Koushiro-ness. I pair him with Anami Eimi, a digimon biology researcher whose heart sometimes supersedes her mind. The idea is that they’re both introverted and research-oriented, and they can gab about their ideas forever. But Eimi is warm, with strong social skills and social intelligence. She can’t touch Koushiro’s level of genius, but she’s smart, hardworking, and injects creativity and thoughtfulness into her work. She also foresees the social and political implications of the latest developments in Digital World and digimon research/technologies, where Koushiro tends to focus on the immediate problem (you can’t blame him; he’s constantly asked to put out sizable fires. There is always more fire. So much fire).

They probably work together off and on for a long time before one of them realizes, oh. The part after that is probably a mess, knowing Koushiro, but they get there!

Koushiro’s polite nature and Eimi’s private one make it so that strangers wouldn’t know they’re married. Still, Koushiro’s close friends, like the Chosen, see the way his eyes follow her, especially when he’s uncertain and wanting social cues. They have a quiet, stable partnership, which Daisuke describes as, “Married and boring,” but they’re very happy.

And Koushiro is very curious, the type who wants to try everything at least once, eyyyyy.

The only thing causing tension is Koushiro working too much and failing to care for himself properly. Luckily, Kae and Masami live in the same apartment mansion, and Kae has eased their marriage when needed by cooking, cleaning, calling Koushiro to remind him of Important Husband Things, and making general suggestions about how an erring husband might smooth things over with his ruffled wife. That last one usually consists of, “Bring home dinner/get your ass home/get your ass to sleep/why yes you DO need to apologize for that.”

It also helps that Eimi loves Tentomon, an accomplished Koushiro-wrangler and general peace keeper.

Mimi

Mimi’s all about fun, novelty, and freedom. She dates around and has casual partners of all varieties. Eventually, she decides to co-parent a child with her long-standing romantic interest. They share custody of their son, who also spends a lot of time with grandparents and friends, including the Chosen. Mimi and her son’s father have an understanding that they see other people while they’re apart, but don’t bring them around their son without discussing it first. It’s all amicable, chill, and provides their son with an enormous support network.

I don’t know if Mimi would ever settle down. I think she loves her life with a lot of variety and spontaneity.

Jyou

Marries his high school sweetheart, Bike Girl. They’re both doctors, so they struggle to get enough time together. But Bike Girl is sweet, loving, and most importantly, calm and grounded. Jyou is a huge romantic softy who spoils his wife and takes care of her. Although they both wish for more time together, they get on amazingly. Jyou always feels this... wonder and gratitude that he’s married to her.

I won’t lie: Jyou is the best husband. The other Chosen men wish they could husband as well as Jyou.

Takeru

I really don’t know what to make of this troll. Sometimes, I think he’s a charmer who dates around a ton, and eventually had an “oops” baby that he amicably co-parents with an ex. Sometimes, I think he settled down early and started a family, because he wanted that stability and love and constant presence that he didn’t have as a kid. Sometimes, I wonder if he eventually divorced and went on to later marry a certain childhood friend...

What can I say, he’s a man of mystery.

Hikari

Ahhh, why is this is sooooo hard?

Part of me really wants to see Hikari as an independent woman, and quietly proud about it. Clearly, she has a child... Maybe she had her son and later divorced? Or maybe she’s happily married? I also admit that I do want to see her with Takeru, at least eventually...

Lots of possibilities here!

Daisuke

Oh, he definitely had an “oops” baby with an ex and is currently trying to find a husband or wife. Or maybe he did? Maybe he did!

Miyako and Ken

They’re married, and they are gross about it, lol!

Seriously though, they get on so well. Ken works a lot (Digimon Police is a tough job), and sometimes Ken needs to find peace and quiet in his home (merry wife + loud kids + MULTIPLE kids = TOO MUCH), so there is sometimes a little tension when Miyako wants more of his time. But they manage it, and they keep their family and home running smoothly and happily.

I just... picture it as this ideal family, at least for someone desiring a loud, joyful, energetic, nuclear family.

Iori

Iori married early to a down-to-earth woman who specializes in elderly care. His wife has a big heart and a kind, patient nature. While she loves and respects Iori’s zeal for helping others, she gently reminds him to take care of himself and his family first. She also provides perspective when he gets set in a stubborn mentality. Happily, she enjoys sharing a large apartment with Iori’s mother and grandfather.

Iori is sometimes too focused on the problems of others to see his loved ones properly, and that’s something he works on with his grandfather’s guidance. When he has his daughter, he instantly reassigns his priorities around her, which softens a lot of his problematic areas. Also, he married a woman who knows how to help him redirect his thoughts. He feels genuine amazement that he’s with her. They have a relationship that is... quietly intense.

AND I AM DONE FOR TODAY, WHEW!

#digimonepiloguecelebration #digimon epilogue celebration #chosen children #digidestined

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companaich · 4 years

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Intelligent Systems gave me nothing to work with, so this is My City now. Also reminder that Intsys says that Tanith is in her 20s but that is stupid and they are Cowards, so mine is in her mid 30s by the time Path of Radiance happens.

Tanith Culbert was the third born child and eldest daughter of the Count of Culbert and his wife. She spent her childhood years mostly apart from her parents, spending more time with her two older brothers and eventually her younger sister, Annath.

As a child and through her early teens, Tanith was far closer in personality to Marcia than she would later care to admit. She was dedicated and stubborn, yes, but had her airheaded moments of forgetfulness and frequently lacked focus on specific things.

Of her two elder brothers, Tanith was closer to the middle child of the family, Salim. While Kothar, the eldest, would vanish for almost weeks at a time to learn more about Culbert and how to run it from his parents, Salim would train with the local militia and pass on what he learned in snippets to his younger sister. As the martial skills were seen as unbecoming of a lady without designs to join the military. At her younger age, Tanith would often declare that she had no plans for the future, and would simply enjoy trying a 'little bit of everything'. Kothar's attempts to bond with her usually resulted in her growing frustrated with the logistical problems he gave her, although the pastry bribes he offered as a reward normally made her push through them.

When her younger sister was born Tanith was already twelve years old, and spent little time with her - although she still grew attached despite the distance. As the years went by, her desire to do a 'little bit of everything' concentrated on the intensely practical, with her eye already shifting to either the military or perhaps some kind of charity work. She did attempt to learn how to become a healer, but found her then-flighty concentration was a poor mix with the abilities required to heal efficiently.

The majority of her interactions with her father and mother consisted of them attempting to arrange their most valuable daughter into assorted marriages, with the most persistent courtship she had to suffer being that of Baron Elgin, a minor noble who had designs to put his son Valtome on the Culbert seat one way or another.

Tanith hated Valtome. She hated him almost from the moment she first saw him, and as the arrangement became closer and closer she found herself with very few options to escape it. She could either join the clergy, or the military - after all, members of the Holy Guard in partiucular were considered in a very specific level of society, and could hardly marry a Baron's son when their focus had to be on protecting the Apostle. Kothar helped her come to this conclusion and then used his burgeoning diplomatic skills to spin it for her parents, presenting it as a secret dream she had always had - and finally providing an adequate excuse for all the times she slipped away to train with Salim. Packing her bags, Tanith set off for the capital, unaware of the damage her decision would bring.

Arriving at the capital, Tanith befriended a fellow recruit from another distant noble family in the form of Sigrun. She started to buckle under the weight of the intense training program at first, until Sigrun encouraged her to stick with it instead of quitting at the end of the first week as she had intended. With newfound dedication and a slowly growing love for the profession and the skies in particular, Tanith hurled herself into the program and rapidly became the second highest ranked student of her year.

She was, constantly, always behind Sigrun, something that she could never quite escape from.

When Tanith turned eighteen and was about to complete her training, tragedy struck at home. What appeared to be a deadly string of disease struck her family home, leading to the deaths of her parents and her elder brothers. Her younger sister was barely clinging on to life and ruled Culbert now, and likely wouldn't survive past the week. As she returned home for the funerals, Tanith discovered to her horror that Valtome had ascended through the ranks enough to be the heir to Culbert instead. She was presented with a choice: either leave the Holy Guard and rule Culbert, or remain there and hand it over to him when her sister perished.

Tanith had the longest conversation she'd ever had with her sister that night. Annath eventually convinced Tanith not to abandon what had quickly become her main passion in life, and she reluctantly turned her back on her home province. Ever since, as she watched how Valtome treated her people and how he acted among the Senate, she'd always wondered if that plague which had killed her family and so many of their servants hadn't in fact been something far more insidious.

Tanith returned to the ranks a changed woman, growing harsher and more stern. Completing her training and being an active member of the Guard accelerated that, and while she could never pass Sigrun (who she had now been in a romantic relationship with for several years) in terms of ability or respect, she was still earmarked as a prodigy in her own right. Eventually, Sigrun was promoted to Commander, and Tanith to Deputy Commander - a year before Sanaki was forced to become the new Apostle and Empress at such a young age.

The promotions, however, also turned out to be the final nail in the coffin for Tanith and Sigrun's romantic relationship. With her newfound professionalism and drive being her main focuses in life, Tanith couldn't bring herself to break the command structure in such a way as dating her superior - the two of them having always been the same rank before. They called the relation off, amiably, and continued to be friends instead.

As Path of Radiance picks up, Tanith has been serving Sanaki for almost all of her life. While Sigrun outranks her, the fact that Tanith needs to deal with less of the minutae of running the Holy Guard means that she spends far more time than her as the Apostle's immediate bodyguard, being around her almost as much as her actual guardian in Sephiran. Her connection with Sanaki grows to be the most important she had outside of Sigrun since her family's death, and she is slowly starting to open up to other people again as well.

Quasi Related: She sees far too much of her younger self in Marcia, which absolutely terrifies her at times. Her own memory of her relationship with her siblings is also why she is so (comparatively) easy on her after learning the reasons why Marcia resigned before Path of Radiance began, as well.

#Mother and Guardian;Tanith #Study of the Guard;Tanith Headcanons

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kyoko0001 · 5 years

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Please feel free to use these!!

10 KuroFai Fanfictions I hope someone writes or I will have to get to them one day

All of these are for anyone to use and are ideas that have been bouncing around in my head for a while. If you do like one/use one send it to me and I will read, review, and share!!!!! I have pages and pages of these so lemme know if you want more friends!

1 ~ Fai gets separated from the group and wakes up in a new dimension all alone. He is discovered by a group of warriors. One of those warriors looks suspiciously like Kurogane but Fai can tell instantly it’s not. He of course just so happens to be able to speak the language and surrenders peacefully. He is brought back to there village where he gets to meet the real Kurogane of this world. Youou is only 5 but is obsessed with the blond hair, blue eyes wizard who “is very pretty’ or so he tells his mom and dad. Fai spends a few weeks with the little family and gets dragged around by the overly hyperactive kid we see in the lecourt flashback. I want Youou to give him frogs and bugs cuse ‘arnt they cool!’ and show him all his extra secret hiding spots. I want Youou to get stuck in a tree and Fai to have to save him and he is just so freaking impressed that Fai can use magic to do that. I want him to be glued to Fai and hold his hand and just like climb up Fai’s side like a monkey and hang over his shoulders. I need a cute scene where Fai is telling him bedtime stories that are totally over the top and silly and for Youou to just freaking eat it up. I want him to just be so freaking cute and innocent and adorable that Fai is just swooning in cuteness overload and when Kuro-chan finally finds him Youou bawls his eyes out when they have to go and when they land in the next world Fai is crying too and Kurogane ends up snuggling him and telling him all about what he was like as a kid.

2 ~ This same shit but With Kurogane. He lands in a world separated from the group and is grumbling and stalking around when he runs into two adorable kids who wont speak to him but are constantly whispering in the other twins ears and shooting each other looks. Eventually Fai and Yuui bring Kurogane back to there house where they live with there Aunt Chii. Eventually the twins come out of there shells and they are both just terrors. Fai (the real Fai) is half 50% huge cry baby and 50% If-you-make-Yuui-sad-I-will-cut-you. Yuui(the one who takes his twins name in TRC) is mischievous but appears to be overly innocent and they cause no end of trouble. They are just cuddle bugs and Kurogane will walk into the house to find that they have stolen every blanket in the house and piled them in the living room like a nest/fort and are napping all twisted around each other at odd angles. They will also crawl into his bed in the middle of the night and twist around the same way and it hurts Kurogane’s pride as a ninja that they NEVER wake him. Bonus points if you write them in Ashura-ou’s care because he is the best underappreciated and well meaning father in CLAMP. Extra bonus points if they are little vampires!!!!!! And they get cranky and cry why they are hungry and there little eyes turn gold.

3 ~ A well written KuroFai A/B/O Fic. (I know I know shoot me) because I haven't read a single one in this fandom that didnt get abandoned after a few chapters or were terribly written. (all KuroFai is Good KuroFai but I want really good Kurofai) specifically I want I Dont-need-no-man omega Fai and a potty mouth Kuro-alpha who just doesn't know what to do with him. All the angst. Just modern day au a/b/o and I’ll probs be happy tbh. I have one in the works but I feel like I would get judged for posting it? I wanted something where Fai and Kurogane are both princes in neighboring lands. Fai is a first prince and Kurogane is like way down there on the succession so when they have an arranged marriage Kuro-chan gets shipped to Fai’s country even though he is the alpha. Fai is meh about the whole thing but ends up loving that Kurogane’s alpha pride is hurt because he was shipped off ‘like a blushing bride’ to his husbands home and teases him over it. I want Fai to have to teach Kurogane alllll about his new home that is culturally very different from each other in regards to gender rolls. (Kurogane’s comes from a patriarchal society and Fai comes from a matriarchal society.) So he totally freaks out that his delicate omega is a war mage who leads armies and fights alpha’s face to face. Of course I want them to grow a mutual respect for each others strengths and fall in love love and live happily every after.

4 ~ I want a fanfiction where something happens in a battle and Fai ends up saving Kurogane’s ass by stepping in and just using magic to absolutely obliterate the threat and we get to actually see him do more then just act as back up. Kurogane is totally turned on when Fai is a bad ass in a fight and even though he is injured he just really wants to take his mage home and erm... show his affection? Hehe.

5 ~ One time I wrote a fic where Fai and Kurogane went back to Celese when Ashura woke up and there were still people there. I was told of course by the readers that there were no more living people in Celese because Ashura had killed them or Fai had taken them all to another dimension? I never read that in the manga... (I knew there were no living people in Celese I though Ashura-ou had killed them not that Fai had rescued them) I dont think at least? But that would be a Fai thing to do. I want a fic where the gang lands in the world that Fai took all the people fleeing ‘The beast’ to and since they are all strong magic users they sense his presence right away and the court mages just swarm them. Of course everyone but Fai is super confused. I like to think that Ashura-ou didnt have have his actual son So Fai is the crowned prince aka king now that Ashura-ou is dead so they dont want him to go. It could go a few ways from here.

Fai was married for political reasons but he and his wife had been childhood friends and she is just so delighted that Fai and Kurogane fell in love and she is just all up in there business about how it happened. Kurogane of course is like what-the-hell-do-you-mean-you-are-married!? and Fai has to explain the situation and apologize for not being honest.

(sorry I ship TaiAsh-ou and it sneaks into everything I do) Taishakuten from RG Veda was super close to Ashura-ou and so also watched Fai grow up and was so freaking worried about him going back to Celese all alone. He has been in charge while Fai was gone and of course demands Fai stay so becomes there villain with good intentions if you catch my drift? Just like in RG Veda he promised Ashura-ou but this time it was to look out for Fai and keep him safe. So we get to hear all sorts of things about Fai that are never revealed int he Manga and Kurogane gets all twisted out of joint that Fai might actually stay when really Fai cant wait to go because while he loves him home the reminders of Celese brake his heart. Of corse Kurogane doesnt get why Fai would want to abandon his people so they have to have a talk and Kuro offers for Fai to live in Nihon when this is over.

6 ~ I really really reaaaaaaaaaaaally want a fic where Ashura-ou never rescued Fai so he kinda just hung out in Valerie in that timeless prison where he cant use magic. FWR still threw his brother out of the tower and he promised to bring him back if Fai kills the people who will one day. (just swap there names so Fai is Fai and the real Fai is now Yuui for this explanation) So Fai never grows older because timeless prison, never learns how to smile or joke or be a normal human because no Ashura-ou so he is just this tiny little starving frost bitten gremlin sitting in the snow holding his twin and waiting with the feather FWR gave him. So when the gang show up there like... WTFFFFFF. Kurogane brakes the timeless prison with an attack from his sword and Fai is just looking up at them terrified. he doesnt speak or move just looks up at them terrified. They take Fai and Yuui because Fai wont let go and find shelter for the night. Fai of course cant bring himself to kill the only people that have ever showed him kindness so he is beating himself up for not being able to do it to save Yuui. I love KuroFai but I also think that people can have close non romantic relationships as well so I would love to see Kurogane Fall in love with Fai and care for him in a parental way? No creepiness just Kurogane seeing a kid that needs him and showing him how to be a kid and live his life. I think this would be so cool if someone has the time to actually write out the healing from a traumatized 5-7 year old into a quirky teen. lord knows when and If I get to this one (I’ve had this idea for 7 years) its gonna be 500k + words.

7 ~ I want an epic AU where Fai and Kurogane live in different countries. I want it to be a tradition in Nihon that when boys turn 16 they spend some time training alone away from there families and its no different for Kurogane. I want his dad lord suwa to have gone to Celese when he had been Kuro’s age and become best buds with Ashura-ou. like war buddies. So when he ships Kurogane off for training he is trusting his old friend Ashura-ou(king of Celes) to look after him. (Ashura would be more like from RG-Veda and a master swords men if that makes sense) Kurogane is excited as hell to go and when he gets there he meets Ashura’s son Fai/Yuui. I want fun teasing between them, epic adventures, Fai taking Kuro-chans innocence!!! and tons of steamy love. I have so many diff Ideas for how this could go but I would love one where Kurogane helps Fai deal with Ashura going crazy like he does in Tsuba. Bonus points for awesome world building.

8 ~ I want an AU where Fai travels to Kurogane’s world when he is learning the spell to travel between dimensions and just sorta thunks down in the middle of his village and hurts himself on the landing. I want Kuro’s mama to patch Fai up and for Fai and Kurogane to become quick friends before Fai’s Dad showes up to bring him home. I want Fai to visit every few Years and for them to fall in love love!!! Bonus points if Fai has to sneak off to visit Kurogane and Ashura has to keep coming to get him and drag his ass home.

9 ~ I want and AU where Kurogane’s parents go on vacation without him so he is spending the summer with his cousins (Syaoran and his dad) and gets dragged with them while they explore historical sights throughout eastern Europe. they end up in this totally dilapidated castle that was abandoned years ago and is supposedly haunted. Kurogane doesn't believe in ghosts so when he hears a banging sound from the catacombs below his room he goes to investigate. He finds the source of the banging and it appears to be coming from a bricked up passage way. Kuro starts to get totally freaked out because he swears he can here crying and someone asking for help on the other side so he locates some tools and tries to get though the wall. while he is working the banging and the crying stop and when he pulls the first brick free he uses his phone to flash some light inside of the room and almost has a heart attack when a single gold eye stares back at him. after the first brick the rest of the wall comes down easy and Kurogane Finds Fai just standing there staring at him. Fai is a vampire that the villagers had entombed 500 years ago and as soon as Kurogane gets close enough to him--Fai bites him. Can you blame him though he is starving to death? the whole immortal thing is not as cool as it sounds when your’re bricked up in a dungeon. Luckily his stomach cant hold much and Fai apoligizes while he waits for Kurogane to come to his senses. Like the rest of these they fall in love love and Kurogane gets to teach Fai all about the convinces of modern day life.

10 ~ I want a fic where Fai gets sick for the first time in a long time. Usually his magic keeps him healthy so when he gets sick he gets siiiiick. Of course he hates asking for help so que Kurogane taking care of him.

#KuroFai #Fai centric Fics #TRC #I wish I had time #Can you all help my dreams come true #free to use #please just send them to me!!!!#I need these in my life #fanfiction #prompts #Kyoko rambles

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yelloskello · 5 years

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just wrote a ridiculously long post musing on the influence of media on my roleplaying decisions and then realized it was a fuckin novel and now i’m just gonna... delete it all and start over

basically, like. There’s a noticeable trend in roleplaying circles for most folks to play mostly if not entirely dudes - not all obviously, but a significant enough chunk to make that statement. I remember there being a thread on the forums I frequent where someone asked about it and asked for the reasoning behind people choosing to play one gender over the other, and the vast majority response from roleplayers of any gender was playing guys for one reason or another, ranging from ‘idk I just prefer them’ to ‘i never really thought of women as being able to be cool or flawed or interesting’. Which makes sense, considering we live in a society where so so so so so many female characters in popular media are written as either Nagging Only Sane People There To Bring The Wacky Guys Back Down, or Bland Pretty Things with the personality of a turnip.

and like. i’m wondering why I ended up going the completely opposite direction, where 80% of my characters are women, and it wasn’t a recent development that grew with my feminism, either - i’ve preferred making lady characters for as long as i’ve been able to pick up a pencil, and what dudes I make tend to lean towards being effeminate, emotionally open, and gentle. (And when they’re not, they tend to be pretty explicitly gay/bi/pan. A couple of my most masculine characters are the ones who are in ride-or-die relationships with my best friend’s dude characters.)

Basically the tl;dr of the thoughts came out to:

A: A HUGE chunk of the media I was taking in before even the age of 10 featured women as protagonists without ever presenting it as a Woman Story About Being Womanly, at least as far as I remember. Gender was just treated as a neutral playing field, never mentioned but with equal distribution throughout the stories, and I partook in a lot of stuff that showed the story from a woman’s perspective. A lot of this media I was introduced to by my sister, who, as long as I can remember, has been GNC and interested in GNC things. I ALSO partook in kinda fringe stuff like small-time webcomics that had lady protagonists who acted straight up goofy and were never remotely sexualized, and at least one of those things was MASSIVELY formative for me, to the point where the first comic I ever drew at the age of 8 was basically just like... A blatant ripoff of that comic. Like. That comic was the reason I got into my lifelong passion of comics.

B: By some fucking miracle, while gender did have an influence on my upbringing, it wasn’t... Super significant. Gender roles were not heaped heavily upon me by my parents (which is kinda shocking, considering they’re like, die hard conservative christians), and when they did Heap it, it was easy enough to just kinda... Ignore it.* I was never chided for doing things that weren’t Stereotypically Feminine: wearing clothes “for boys”, having a majority of friends who were boys, doing activities that one would think of in a gendered sense as ‘boy stuff’, actively rejecting the societal expectation to get married and have kids, etc.

Honestly, I think a lot of this was basically just dumb luck, though: I was still feminine enough that my mom wasn’t alarmed when I started wearing clothes intended for boys. My adamant refusal of marriage/children was and IS STILL responded to with a smile and a joke and obviously thinking i’ll change my mind one day. I’ve always kept my hair VERY short, and was even encouraged to by my mom, but the styles I wear are still some degree of feminine - pixie cuts and shit - and the reason she’s encouraging is because SHE wore her hair short growing up and just thinks it’s cute. By the time I started branching into mohawks and undercuts, my mom was getting to a point where she was more concerned with having a good relationship with her kids and being positive no matter what than whether or not I didn’t look straight. (I can always tell that she doesn’t particularly like it, but is trying to be supportive when I show up with a ‘weird’ haircut.)

(my dad, on the other hand, made a stink when I wanted my first undercut, told me i’d ‘look like a d***’ and would ‘never get a boyfriend’. but he was kinda distant anyways due to his job and didn’t really have a lot of involvement or say over my choices growing up.) my point is, though, that gender may not have been entirely a neutral playing field growing up, but I was never taught/it never sunk in for me that women shouldn’t be rowdy or ‘boyish’ or loud or strive for greater things, and I wasn’t punished or discouraged for being that way myself. The combination of these two things basically meant that I was seeing women who got to act just like the Cool Boy Characters out there on the regular, didn’t really make a big deal about gender/gendered things, and the tendency for women to be bland or unlikeable in a lot of media just kinda went over my head.

...plus i’m sure there was some Big Gay buried in there somewhere where I’ve just always preferred the look of women so if I wanted to rip off some Funny Likeable Boy character from a tv show i’d do it n i’d make them a lady. They’re more interesting to look at and more fun to draw! what do you want from me

Also, looking back on the first point: I wonder if growing up with media like that is why I VASTLY prefer stories that just HAVE diversity that isn’t really the focus, versus Queer Stories or Nonbinary Stories or Women Stories or Mentally Ill Stories or so on and so forth. While I want to see someone like me out there fighting dragons n shit, while i’m like ‘holy shit this character is bi?? she’s MINE NOW’ in a story that’s mostly about trying to survive political intrigue and navigating a cutthroat court, I just feel Tired when there’s a story that’s clearly about navigating anxiety or dealing with sexism on the daily or somesuch. I get they’re meant to be relatable, but i’m like... I live that shit every day, I don’t want an extra dose of it here, too. I’d rather just see people like me getting to be the cool heroes we liked reading about growing up. I want my mental issues and my queerness and my gender, I just want DIVERSITY to be just as default as the Default Straight White Man Protagonist, to just be mundane, not a beacon of being Different with stories that cater to how Different I am, constantly reminding me that I am Different and that this story isn’t widely relatable and caters to a certain audience of Different People. There’s a fine line between ‘we’re all different and we need to understand there’s nothing wrong with that’, and ‘this makes me feel more distant and isolated from other groups than ever before’.

but that’s just my personal taste. Anyways.

wow this ended up being just as fricken long as my original post on this, good job me

(*except for like... this had a lot of different factors, but in my young to mid teens, I very much felt like i’d never land a boyfriend and that no guy could ever actually find me attractive. Some of this was due to an abusive friend who was isolating me while simultaneously reminding me about how important it was to be desirable to men; some of it was due to how much subtle anxiety my mom projected on me about behaviors I should upkeep so I would look desirable to men. ‘don’t put the elbows on the table so that you look proper when you’re out on a date!’ sorta crap. Some of it was due to being unaware of how FUCKEN BI I was (REAL BI, now that I look back on it) and brought up in a homophobic setting so it never occurred to me that there was more than just dudes. That anxiety was the closest I ever really came to feeling like I was failing at femininity, though.)

#gender and gender role influence thoughts

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darkmystress00 · 6 years

Text

Babysitter’s Club - Ch 12

A/N: Others are starting notice your close relationship with Misha...or rather Misha’s constant posting about you and the kids. What happens when others start asking questions?

Trigger warnings: none?

Pairing: Misha x Reader (It. Is. Starting!!)

Catch up here!

Misha rubbed at his eyes as he stood in the brightly lit bathroom of his hotel room. He was doing his convention circuit and today he had a panel. He was exhausted. He missed his kids (and if he was completely honest with himself, he missed you too). It had been a couple of weeks since he’d dropped you and the kids off at Vancouver airport, and he hadn’t seen any of you since. It was surprising how lonely he felt, even though he was surrounded by friends, but he’d known he was going to be super busy so he and Vicki had agreed to have her keep the kids this month while he’d had them last month.

“Just a few more weeks,” he sighed before spinning around and switching on the shower to prepare for his day.

~~~

“I’m excited!” West squealed as he stood in line sandwiched between you and Vicki. Vicki knew the kids were missing their father and since the convention was relatively close, she’d decided to surprise all of them and bring the kids to him. She’d asked you if you would be willing to make the trip, with the promise of having a night off to yourself, since you really weren’t scheduled to work for the next few days. You’d jumped at the opportunity, rationalizing your eagerness due to being able to surprise the kids. It had nothing to do with the swooping your tummy did at the idea of seeing Misha again after the past few weeks away. Definitely not!

“I know West! This is exciting. But remember, we need to make sure he’s surprised, so we can’t run up to him right away.”

“I know. We need to wait until he’s up on stage and talking to people.”

“Good job, sweetheart.” Vicki said, stroking his hair. “We’ll let you know when to go.” West smiled and nodded.

“Vicki, Y/N, over here.” The pair of you turned and spotted Jared coming down a hallway towards you. You both waved and watched as he pulled some lanyards and badges out of his back pocket. He slung one over West’s head and another over Maison’s before handing one to Vicki and one to you. You pulled yours over your head and moved under the rope to stand next to him. He wrapped you in a quick hug before motioning for the four of you to follow him into the convention area. “So the panels don’t start for another hour and a half, you guys can mill around down here until then. I’ll sneak you back stage after he’s already gone on, and from there you guys are set.”

“Thanks, Jared.” Vicki smiled and gave him a quick hug. “You’re amazing.”

“No problem.” He smiled at her. “I’ve gotta run and meet Jensen for our panel, but I’ll be back here right after.” He moved to walk away, nudging you playfully as he went. You had definitely missed being around the guys. Life was so different being in California again, but it was good to be back around the cast you’d come to think of as friends.

“Well, do we want to walk around the booths for a little while?” Vicki asked. West let out a loud squealing yes before tugging both of you towards the booths and displays.

~~~

Misha sat in his chair listening to the person introduce themselves before they asked their question. So far this panel had been a lot of fun, but he was excited to be done.

“Hello, Misha. My name is Kristen.” The younger girl (she had to be late teens, maybe early twenties at most by his guess) said into the microphone.

“Hello, Kristen. Nice to meet you.”

“You too.” She pulled the microphone away from her face as she giggled a little, clearly star struck and giddy. “So I was wondering…” She took a deep breath. “You post a lot about your nanny, Y/N. Pictures, snapchat, videos, twitter. She’s all over your feed.” Misha felt his heart thump a little quicker in his chest. “My question is, is there something going on between you two? It just seems like she’s always around and you’re constantly posting about her. What’s the deal with that?” Misha took a moment to gather his thoughts before he pulled the mic up to his mouth and smiled.

“Ok, so story time.” The crowd seemed to rumble a little. “A while back, I think it’s been a year by now probably more, but I forget. Vicki and I decided the kids, my kids West and Maison, were old enough to travel with me. West had been asking a lot to come visit but Vicki couldn’t always make the trip because she had her own commitments she needed to make. So we decided to hire a nanny. We went through this agency, because apparently nannying agencies are a thing. Who knew right? Anyway, we went through this agency and met Y/N, and hired her to be basically a traveling and live-in nanny.” His eyes scanned the crowd. “So she travels with the kids to and from Vancouver, and entertains them when I’m filming. She comes by set a lot, because a big part of why West wanted to travel with me was to see me more. So, yeah, she’s constantly around because she’s watching my kids.” The crowd seemed to hum. “Y/N has been a godsend, to be perfectly honest. Many of you know about the rocky situation that my family has been going through-”

“You mean your divorce?” Kristen chimed in and Misha felt himself stiffen a bit. While he hadn’t hidden the fact that his marriage was ending, to hear it out of a stranger’s mouth made it tough to swallow. He wanted to keep the gritty details to himself, and hearing about it from someone else, just reminded him how much of his life really was in the spotlight for every fan to see.

“Yeah.” He cleared his throat. “Through that, and everything that’s come along with that, Y/N has become more than just my nanny. She’s become my friend. I know she and Vicki are friends too, but she’s really become a rock for me, because she just has this way of taking a really crappy situation and kind of making it seem like the world isn’t ending. She’s amazing at doing it with the kids.” He confessed. “Vicki and I are still very much friends. I love her very much still, I always will, but it’s different now. And trying to explain that to our kids has been tough. Y/N has been able to really help them through all of this when it felt like I couldn’t tell which way was up. I really don’t know how I would have made it through everything this past year without my support system, and Y/N has become a very important part of that system, just like Jared, and Jensen have as well.” The crowd went silent. “So, I guess, short answer is, yeah I do post about her a lot, but that’s because she’s always around with my kids, and she’s a very important person to me. She’s my friend.”

“Thank you.” Kristen said, before handing the mic off to one of the convention staff standing next to her.

“You’re welcome.” He watched Kristen walk away and then turned to the next person in line. “Next question?”

“Hi! My name is David.”

“Hello David. What was your question today?”

“I was curious...Y/N seems like a lot of fun, and she’s - well, let’s be honest - she’s gorgeous. Do you think you could pass along my number to her?” The crowd erupted into laughter and Misha had to sit there for a moment to process what was said. He couldn’t deny the little stab of jealousy that flared low in his belly, but he hid it. He lifted the mic to his face, but the crowd instantly broke in deafening screams and cheers.

“This is sounding more like a panel for Y/N rather than you Misha.” Jared said as he entered the stage. “Maybe we should replace you with her for ratings?”

“Harhar.” Misha quipped. “What brings you to my panel?”

“Well, actually, I was part of a scheme.” He started and stared out at the crowd as they started to laugh a little. “So, there is a surprise for you, but you gotta close your eyes in order to get it.”

“Not on your life. You’re gonna do something bad to me.” Jared laughed and held a hand up in the air.

“No dude, I swear. I’ll be good. Just close your eyes...you’re gonna like this.” Misha looked out over the crowd and then back to Jared.

“If he is gonna do something bad you need to warn me.” He said to the crowd before covering his eyes with his hand. Jared motioned silently and the crowd started clapping as West barreled out from behind the curtain followed by Vicki with Maison on her hip. West launched himself into Misha’s lap and Misha’s eyes snapped open before a big smile bloomed on his face. His head snapped to the side to stare at Vicki and his smile only grew as he took in her smile and Maison on her hip wiggling her hands up to him like she wanted him to hold her. Misha stood, scooping up West, and walked over to Vicki, giving her a big hug. He rested his chin on her shoulder, eyes closed, and whispered a quick ‘hello’ and ‘thank you’ to her. His eyes opened and he expected to be staring at the blue curtains that hid the backstage, but his eyes landed squarely on you.

He could tell even from how far away he was that you were blushing, clearly having heard the previous questions. His heart tripped into double time in his chest as you quietly and shyly waved at him before the curtain closed.

~~~

You and Vicki stood with West and Maison behind the curtain. Jared was talking to someone close by, probably letting them know that he was going to jump on stage and needed a mic pack. Vicki turned to say something to you but you both froze as you heard a girl say your name over the speakers. Your heart thumped in your chest as you listened.

“So I was wondering…You post a lot about your nanny, Y/N. Pictures, snapchat, videos, twitter. She’s all over your feed. My question is, is there something going on between you two? It just seems like she’s always around and you’re constantly posting about her. What’s the deal with that?” Your eyes snapped to Vicki, a denial on your lips, but you couldn’t get it out before you attention was riveted to what Misha was saying to the faceless girl beyond the curtain.

“Ok, so story time.” Your breathing sped up. “A while back, I think it’s been a year by now probably more, but I forget. Vicki and I decided the kids, my kids West and Maison, were old enough to travel with me. West had been asking a lot to come visit but Vicki couldn’t always make the trip because she had her own commitments she needed to make. So we decided to hire a nanny. We went through this agency, because apparently nannying agencies are a thing. Who knew right? Anyway, we went through this agency and met Y/N, and hired her to be basically a traveling and live-in nanny. So she travels with the kids to and from Vancouver, and entertains them when I’m filming. She comes by set a lot, because a big part of why West wanted to travel with me was to see me more. So, yeah, she’s constantly around because she’s watching my kids.” You heard the general murmur from the crowd. “Y/N has been a godsend, to be perfectly honest. Many of you know about the rocky situation that my family has been going through-”

“You mean your divorce?”

“Yeah.Through that, and everything that’s come along with that, Y/N has become more than just my nanny. She’s become my friend. I know she and Vicki are friends too, but she’s really become a rock for me, because she just has this way of taking a really crappy situation and kind of making it seem like the world isn’t ending. She’s amazing at doing it with the kids.” You let out a pent up breath. “Vicki and I are still very much friends. I love her very much still, I always will, but it’s different now. And trying to explain that to our kids has been tough. Y/N has been able to really help them through all of this when it felt like I couldn’t tell which way was up. I really don’t know how I would have made it through everything this past year without my support system, and Y/N has become a very important part of that system, just like Jared, and Jensen have as well. So, I guess, short answer is, yeah I do post about her a lot, but that’s because she’s always around with my kids, and she’s a very important person to me. She’s my friend.”

Vicki watched you as your eyes were riveted to the curtain throughout the whole exchange. She smiled a little at how nervous and uncomfortable you looked. Your eyes darted to hers and she smiled at you again. “I don’t even know what to say.” You breathed as she looked at you.

“I think Misha said it best. You two are very close friends, and that’s good.”

“But…” Didn’t she think it was unprofessional? Wasn’t she uncomfortable? You wanted to berate yourself. Of course she was alright. She didn’t know about your crush on her ex-husband. If she did, she probably wouldn’t be as ok with this line of questioning. She’d probably demand you be removed from employment. Who were you kidding...this was Vicki you were talking about. Vicki was the most laid-back and caring woman you’d ever met. She wasn’t the jealous type.

“Y/N, no but’s. You are a big part of our family, and you mean a lot to both of us.” She said as she wrapped an arm around your shoulders. Jared moved to stand next to your little group.

“Alright, so who all is going out there after I get on the mic?”

“Me and the kids.” Vicki responded. “Y/N likes to stay behind the scenes.” You gave a definitive nod and smiled.

“Alright, I’m gonna get mic-ed up…”

“I was curious...Y/N seems like a lot of fun, and she’s - well, let’s be honest - she’s gorgeous. Do you think you could pass along my number to her?” You heard another voice say and you froze. Your eyes went wide and you felt your face burn. Your eyes darted to Jared who was trying his best to hide the grin currently threatening to turn up his lips.

“He’s not wrong.” You heard Vicki say as she leaned towards you. You felt your face get hotter.

“And that’s my cue.” Jared said before jumping up on stage. You were trying to cool your face down as you watched Vicki, West, and Maison climb through the curtain. You watched with a big smile on your face as Misha wrapped everyone in a hug. You found yourself studying his face, remembering just how beautiful of a man he was. To hear him speak so highly of you was amazing, and it made your tummy do flips and then fill with butterflies. His eyes opened and he saw you. You waved quickly before the curtain slipped closed, leaving you shrouded in the secrecy of the backstage area.

~~~

Jensen and Jared wound up standing beside you while Misha finished his panel with the kids and Vicki still on stage. Judging by the roars of laughter coming from the crowd everyone was having a good time.

Vicki emerged first, carrying Maison, while Misha followed holding West. “Hey you.” He said, slinging and arm around your shoulders in a side hug.

“So Misha, we were thinking of having the girls meet us all for dinner, maybe drinks, tonight after the con closes down?” Misha nodded and looked to both you and Vicki, dropping his arm back to his side.

“I can’t tonight guys, but thanks for the offer.” Vicki supplied. When Misha looked at her with a confused look. “The kiddos and I are on our own tonight. I promised Y/N some kid free time since she wasn’t scheduled to work tonight originally.”

“Oh, but I can help you if you need me. Really it’s no problem.”

“No, Y/N you go out. Have a good time. You haven’t had much time off. You deserve some time with friends to just enjoy yourself.” You looked like you wanted to argue but she stopped you. “Y/N, seriously.” Her eyes turned to the guys. “Please take this young woman out and show her the time of her life...she works too much.” Jensen and Jared snickered.

“Of course we will, Vicki.” Jared said before wrapping her in another quick hug. “We need to hang out all of us. I know Gen has been asking about you.”

“Tell her I said hi, and we will definitely do dinner some time. West and Maison would love to play with Tom and JJ.” Jensen grinned right along with Jared. “Alright now boys. Don’t be late to your photo ops.”

“Yes ma’am.” Jensen said before turning to you. “Are you staying in this hotel?” You smiled and nodded. “Alright. Text your room number to one of us and we’ll swing by and get you tonight for dinner. Sound good?”

“Sounds amazing.” You supplied. He winked at you playfully before turning to walk towards his photo ops location. Misha looked at you before giving you another hug. “It was really good to see you, Y/N. Text me your room and I’ll swing by.”

You nodded. “Will do, boss.” He wrinkled his nose at you before passing West to you.

“Ew, don’t ever call me that.” He teased before turning to Vicki and giving her another quick hug. “Thanks again, Vicki. I’ll see you before you leave right?” She nodded. “Perfect. Maybe we can do breakfast tomorrow.”

“Sounds great.” She said and watched as he kissed Maison’s head gently.

“Alright guys, I’ll see you later.” You watched silently as he walked away, silently wondering what Vicki had gotten you into. You had never hung out with Misha and the guys without the kids around, and you were curious how things would be different. You’d just have to wait and find out.

Taglist:

@imamotherfuckingstar-lord @big-to-beautiful @greenappleeyesdean @lilo-efuru @shikaros-blog @fireismysaftey @iconicxcasifer @cannonindeez @tsunderecamour @fluffycascat @rhishklish @awkwardnesshabitat

If you would like to be added to my taglist please send me an ask (otherwise I might lose the request/forget.) Thank you!!

#misha x y/n #Misha x You #mishaxreader #misha x reader #mishaxyou #spn fanfic #spn fan fiction #supernatural fanfiction #Supernatural fanfic

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nativehueofresolution · 3 years

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2, 3, 5, 6, 7

2. favorite male character? bruce wayne. i know, i know. well, ok you do know, but for those who have not listened to my deep batman thoughts at 3am, i know the type of fans who usually give that answer, but batman to me is a symbol of hope and getting up and trying even when it seems pointless. he means a lot to me; plus i've been a fan since i was very young, obsessively watching justice league (side story but during kindergarten my best friend and i would act out jl episodes with me as wonder woman and her as hawkgirl. we would also do this with teen titans where i was starfire and she was raven. she hadn't seen a lot of episodes - i don't think she had cable- so mostly i would explain all of the episodes to her and why she should love all these characters. in that sense, i have changed little as a person.), so i also just have a lot of nostalgic fondness for the character that cements my love.

3. favorite female character? mary jane watson and selina kyle. i know i'm cheating a little with two, but they both represent different parts of why i love comics to me.

with mj, i think of what you can do with the format of comics--how many of them are never-ending. in a lot of ways that's confusing and frustrating but mj reminds me how that can actually end up being rewarding. she was intended to just be a goofy side character. if, say, spider-man had only run for a hundred issues, that's all she would have been. but she developed into such a rich and vibrant character, till she became as iconic as any superhero. and it's so slow! it takes years before she actually shows up on the page, because she's a running gag about blind date peter's always getting out of. the development of her inner life-- showing her party girl facade, her backstory, the way she felt about peter, it was built up for decades with little clues showing there was more to her than was obvious at first glance. it was made up of authors upon authors, and yet her story somehow came together as if it was always meant that way. in a medium often known for things never changing, she shows that actually when stories and different runs blend together it can be a beautiful and meaningful character journey. and like she's had authors that hated her and wrote her out, and so often another author can take that and turn it into something richer. mary jane turning down peter's proposal led to her re-entering peter's life as a friend first and foremost, which helped them finally get to know one another so they could have a real romance. the early 2000s of her and peter separating just led to an incredibly satisfying arc in jms's run where they rebuilt their marriage. like to me, it shows that you can turn years of different competing authors into a cohesive story that makes sense and can still be compelling.

selina, on the other hand, represents to me the fun of comics as a myth, that's constantly reinterpreted. in part because she's an older character, there are so many different incarnations of selina. she can be delightfully punny supervillain, a complex antihero, a thief with a chip on her shoulder, or deeply confused airline stewardess... and still be recognizably the same character. i love seeing different interpretations of her - imagined first batcat meetings, different backstories, and a moral compass that shifts but yet always has certain core pillars. as opposed to someone like mj, who has a relatively straightforward character journey, she's someone who has been reinterpreted a lot, because she occupies this grey space, and that means is always shifting. which makes her stories fun, because how she'll operate isn't a given. i also just love having a female character who can be dark and moody, but also feminine? i feel like with female antiheroes, they often written like they have to be extra gritty and tough, to show they're just as hard boiled as a male antihero (there are lots of examples but i won't lie, i'm thinking of mcu j/essica jones rn). and that's not wrong, female antiheroes should be allowed to be those things. but they shouldn't only be those things, you know? selina's not emotionally repressed or extremely violent, she's not someone who is extremely rude rude or harsh but does the heroics anyways. she's someone in tough situations who makes tough choices. who's tried to survive, even if she had to sacrifice parts of herself. i feel like, to me, that's a more nuanced female antihero than a lot of what i often see.

5. what would your mutant superpower be? i mean ideally teleportation, because i am plagued by commutes, but i feel like i'd probably get something weird like eye boy, only like... even less practical. that's my feeling.

6. would you want to live in a universe where superheros/villains existed? absolutely not lol. anyone who would has not thought this through. i mean, i don't think there's any universe where that works out well.

7. who do you think has the coolest superpower? growing up idolizing jean grey, i thought telekinesis was the coolest super power. i can recognize there are flashier or more practical powers, but yeah telekinesis still brings out the nerdy little kid in me.

#i'm not sure if this is spaced weirdly. tumblr as acting really temperamental when i was answering this and freaked out a lot #whenever i tried to start a new section #but anyways #ta #wizardysseus #asks

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wuunderstruck-a · 6 years

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one - ten !!

welcome to 2k18 rp meme — no longer accepting lmfao

thank u to shannon for being Extra and sending me literally every question in this meme, ily

ten faceclaims i’ve used in the past

ooh boy. this is a hard one. daniel sunjata (as paul briggs), chloe bennet as skye (bc we didn’t know her as daisy johnson then lmfao), and everyone on my (currently) inactive list. EDIT: i forgot, shannon purser!!! god i love her tbh i miss her.

nine faceclaims i want to use in the future

answered here!

eight present/past characters

i’ve had so many characters it’s hard to even remember them BUT I SHALL TRY.

cait scott, a character from a wip of mine who won a contest to appear on a teen television show and was catapulted to fame (i’ve toyed with revamping her and bringing her here also yes her name was a play on ‘great scott!’)

madison caverly, my very very first rp muse. i made her on an oc blog in 2013 and she was my first foray into the rp world. she’s got a few flaws but i have an immense soft spot for her and i brought her over to indie with me.

nadia johnson, my character that i made for my very first d&d campaign. i quickly fell in love with her and even though we’re not playing that campaign rn, i brought her to indie and she’s one of my favorite characters i’ve made for anything. she’s so resilient and brave and has so many layers i have to explore.

owen wheeler, one of my first characters i made on this blog. i had no idea what to do with him until @warmhcney suggested this plot idea and suddenly, owen sprang to life. he’s now a real person in my head and i can never go back. my life has been changed by him, as weird as it is to say. thank you, del, for suggesting owen and molly, because without them i wouldn’t have owen as he is today.

silas trask, another one of my early muses for this. i honestly don’t know where the idea for him came from, really. but he’s honestly a person of his own and a lil shit. every time i write a reply for him the words fly off my fingers, his sassy retorts taking shape on their own. he makes me laugh every time, and i love him so much.

max wheeler, my lost boy. i made him for a group rp and then i realized… dude. what if he’s owen’s younger brother? the rest is history. max is constantly searching, constantly hurting, constantly falling apart. and god, he just needs to be loved. this is just my daily reminder how much max needs love and it’s also an excuse for me to cry about him, thank u.

i also just remembered two old characters from a novel, quinn & nadine. i made them when i was still struggling with accepting my sexuality, and they were an outlet for me to express that. i rly need to do something with them soon bc they were so important to me.

seven characters i want to play

oH BOY OH BOY

ok. so i want to play this cop that’s too soft to actually be a cop, yanno? i think this was inspired by a reddit thread or smth. but i have had this idea for a while, just struggled with the actual execution of it.

i don’t have enough actual bad muses, i rly struggle with playing those, so this is just a general umbrella that i want to do that.

more secret agents & mob bosses in general; i live for that shit.

i rly want this spoiled billionaire daddy’s girl, but i haven’t figured out how to play her w/o me actually hating her guts, so that’s on hold for now.

an actual douche boy that actually fucks a bunch of people, but i have a hard time again figuring out how to play him w/o me actually hating his guts. i have a lot of internal problems can u tell i also keep giving my muses soft sides gdi

one half of a married couple where someone plays one half and i play the other idk just throwin that out there ;) ;) ;)

i rly wanna play bex taylor-klaus as well, plus just add more butch muses to my repertoire in general

six plots of the past/present

well like i mentioned above, owen wheeler was basically spawned from a plot involving a “grumpy secret agent” having to take care of a younger spoiledish girl basically? i think ??? i’D HAVE TO FIND IT but that was a pretty iconic plot omfg (hi del)

i’m a very big hoe for the childhood friends to lovers trope, @hiitchhikers and i have riley & lorelai and the og, gianna & leo that fall into this and im in love

idk why i’m suddenly blanking rip

most of the plots i have rn have been super organic from the chemistry that has happened between our muses? that doesnt mean i don’t like doing plots that are in my wishlist tag (bc i LOVE it), but i also like winging it!!!

five plots i want to do in the future

like i said, i would love to do a preestablished-type marriage plot with someone (if we were discussing this already, i’m so sorry, i’m trash. pls nudge me again)

i also was thinking how much i would love to make muses who have siblings with other mun’s muses? @lucywrites and i did this with silas and flora trask and it was the best decision of my life

i’ve also rly wanted to do some celebrity plots??? something like this tbh or anything rly

i also was thinking about the cast of tv shows and how they literally are a family and someday i want to do a mumu based on that. imagine all the relationships !!! the drama !!! everything

i also love all those single parent + kindergarten teacher plots — my single parent muses luna & sebastián would be perfect for this, or even joss who takes care of her younger brother

four ships

listen, i tried to pick, but it ended up being IMPOSSIBLE. i love you all so much, thank you for giving me these ships. to everyone who ships with me, you mean the world.

three friendships

lyra, lorelai, & jack – @hiitchhikers & @niallhcran

wesley, sally, & heather – @peytrps & @warmhcney

nadine & savannah, katy & molly, celine & the wheelers – @warmhcney

p.s. — i want more platonic ships… pls come @ me

two roleplays

i’m going to say @epochhq & @sundridgehq! both have such kind souls and i’ve met so many good people through them.

one partner

again, picking would be impossible. thank you all for shipping, rping, and interacting with me. i’m sorry for being so slow & sucky at replying to messages & threads, but i love you all so much. it means so much that you’re here, thank you for sticking around. I LOVE YOU!

#answered #about the mun #hcrdliquor #save tag #WOWIE #I LOVE THIS

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