#What Asexuality Reveals About Desire Society and the Meaning of Sex

[stromuprisahat]

I spoke of longing and listened intently to stories of sexual adventures, and never did it occur to me that my friends and I might be using the language of desire differently. For them, a word like “hot” could indicate a physical pull of the type Jane had described. For me, “hot” conveyed an admiration of excellent bone structure.

Ace: What Asexuality Reveals About Desire, Society, and the Meaning of Sex (Angela Chen)

#Ace: What Asexuality Reveals About Desire Society and the Meaning of Sex #Chapter 1: Arriving at Asexuality #Angela Chen #ace #asexuality #desire #mood #books #quotes #V #Exactly! #Excellent bone structure!!!

[demisexualnathanvuornos]

Ace non-fiction

#asexual #angela chen #sherronda j brown #asexuella boksidor #julie sondra decker #the invisible orientation #ace what asexuality reveals about desire society and the meaning of sex #refusing compulsory sexuality #a black asexual lens on our sex obsessed culture #susan bunch #friends meme #english #på svenska

[poppletonink]

Asexual Books

Loveless by Alice Oseman

Sounds Fake But Okay by Sarah Costello and Kayla Kaszyca

Is Love The Answer? by Uta Isaki

City Of Strife by Claudie Arseneault

This Doesn't Mean Anything by Sarah Whaler

Ace: What Asexuality Reveals About Desire, Society, and the Meaning Of Sex by Angela Chen

Sawkill Girls by Claire Legrand

Vanilla by Billy Merrell

Paper Planes by Jennie Wood

Being Ace: An Anthology Of Queer, Trans, Femme, and Disabled Stories of Asexual Love and Connection by Various Authors

Let's Talk About Love by Claire Kann

Rick by Alex Gino

Wren Martin Ruins It All by Amanda DeWitt

Love, Ace & Monsters: An Ace Anthology by Various Authors

Summer Of Salt by Katrina Leno

#books #book blog #booklr #readblr #book reccs #book recommendations #bookaddict #bookblr #bookworm #books and reading #asexual #ace #aromantic #aroace #loveless #lgbt #lgbt fiction #asexual fiction #ace books #ace representation #book rec list

[life-of-an-asexual]

Asexual Non-Fiction

Ace: What Asexuality Reveals About Desire, Society, and the Meaning of Sex by Angela Chen

An engaging exploration of what it means to be asexual in a world that's obsessed with sexual attraction, and what we can all learn about desire and identity by using an ace lens to see the world. Through interviews, cultural criticism, and memoir, ACE invites all readers to consider big-picture issues through the lens of asexuality, because every place that sexuality touches our world, asexuality does too.

The Invisible Orientation: An Introduction to Asexuality by Julie Sondra Decker

In The Invisible Orientation, Julie Sondra Decker outlines what asexuality is, counters misconceptions, provides resources, and puts asexual people's experiences in context as they move through a very sexualized world. It includes information for asexual people to help understand their orientation and what it means for their relationships, as well as tips and facts for those who want to understand their asexual friends and loved ones.

How to Be Ace: A Memoir of Growing Up Asexual by Rebecca Burgess

In this brave, hilarious and empowering graphic memoir, we follow Rebecca as they navigate a culture obsessed with sex—from being bullied at school and trying to fit in with friends, to forcing themself into relationships and experiencing anxiety and OCD—before coming to understand and embrace their asexual identity.

A Quick & Easy Guide to Asexuality by Molly Mulldoon and Will Hernandez

Writer Molly Muldoon and cartoonist Will Hernandez, both in the ace community, are here to shed light on society’s misconceptions of asexuality and what being ace is really like. This book is for anyone who wants to learn about asexuality, and for Ace people themselves, to validate their experiences. Asexuality is a real identity and it’s time the world recognizes it. Here’s to being invisible no more! 

Asexualities: Feminist and Queer Perspectives edited by Karli June Cerankowski and Megan Milks

As the first book-length collection of critical essays ever produced on the topic of asexuality, this book serves as a foundational text in a growing field of study. It also aims to reshape the directions of feminist and queer studies, and to radically alter popular conceptions of sex and desire. Including units addressing theories of asexual orientation; the politics of asexuality; asexuality in media culture; masculinity and asexuality; health, disability, and medicalization; and asexual literary theory, Asexualities will be of interest to scholars and students in sexuality, gender, sociology, cultural studies, disability studies, and media culture.

Refusing Compulsory Sexuality: A Black Asexual Lens on Our Sex-Obsessed Culture by Sherronda J. Brown

In this exploration of what it means to be Black and asexual in America today, Sherronda J. Brown offers new perspectives on asexuality. She takes an incisive look at how anti-Blackness, white supremacy, patriarchy, heteronormativity, and capitalism enact harm against asexual people, contextualizing acephobia within a racial framework in the first book of its kind. A necessary and unapologetic reclamation, Refusing Compulsory Sexuality is smart, timely, and an essential read for asexuals, aromantics, queer readers, and anyone looking to better understand sexual politics in America.

I Am Ace: Advice on Living Your Best Asexual Life by Cody Daigle-Orians

Within these pages lie all the advice you need as a questioning ace teen. Tackling everything from what asexuality is, the asexual spectrum and tips on coming out, to intimacy, relationships, acephobia and finding joy, this guide will help you better understand your asexual identity alongside deeply relatable anecdotes drawn from Cody's personal experience. Whether you are ace, demi, gray-ace or not sure yet, this book will give you the courage and confidence to embrace your authentic self and live your best ace life.

Ace Voices: What it Means to Be Asexual, Aromantic, Demi or Grey-Ace by Eris Young

Drawing upon interviews with a wide range of people across the asexual spectrum, Eris Young is here to take you on an empowering, enriching journey through the rich multitudes of asexual life. With chapters spanning everything from dating, relationships and sex, to mental and emotional health, family, community and joy, the inspirational stories and personal experiences within these pages speak to aces living and loving in unique ways. Find support amongst the diverse narratives of aces sex-repulsed and sex-favourable, alongside voices exploring what it means to be black and ace, to be queer and ace, or ace and multi-partnered - and use it as a springboard for your own ace growth.

Asexual Erotics: Intimate Readings of Compulsory Sexuality by Ela Przybylo

Through a wide-ranging analysis of pivotal queer, feminist, and anti-racist movements; television and film; art and photography; and fiction, nonfiction, and theoretical texts, each chapter explores asexual erotics and demonstrates how asexuality has been vital to the formulation of intimate ways of knowing and being. Asexual Erotics assembles a compendium of asexual possibilities that speaks against the centralization of sex and sexuality, asking that we consider the ways in which compulsory sexuality is detrimental not only to asexual and nonsexual people but to all.

Ace Notes by Michele Kirichanskaya

As an ace or questioning person in an oh-so-allo world, you're probably in desperate need of a cheat sheet. Covering everything from coming out, explaining asexuality and understanding different types of attraction, to marriage, relationships, sex, consent, gatekeeping, religion, ace culture and more, this is the ultimate arsenal for whatever the allo world throws at you.

Ace and Aro Journeys: A Guide to Embracing Your Asexual or Aromantic Identity by The Ace and Aro Advocacy Project

Join the The Ace and Aro Advocacy Project (TAAAP) for a deep dive into the process of discovering and embracing your ace and aro identities. Empower yourself to explore the nuances of your identity, find and develop support networks, explore different kinds of partnership, come out to your communities and find real joy within. Combining a rigorous exploration of identity and sexuality models with hundreds of candid and poignant testimonials - this companion vouches for your personal truth, wherever you lie on the aspec spectrum.

Sounds Fake But Okay: An Asexual and Aromantic Perspective on Love, Relationships, Sex, and Pretty Much Anything Else by Sarah Costello and Kayla Kaszyca

Drawing on Sarah and Kayla's personal stories, and those of aspec friends all over the world, prepare to explore your microlabels, investigate different models of partnership, delve into the intersection of gender norms and compulsory sexuality and reconsider the meaning of sex - when allosexual attraction is out of the equation.

#asexual #asexuality #aromantic #representation #original post

[scribbleymark]

"Amatonormativity permeates more than TV shows and books. It is woven into our legal rights, creating forms of discrimination that become more and more apparent as people age. Romantic love within marriage confers privileges that other forms of devotion cannot, including over 1,100 laws that benefit married couples at the federal level. Spouses can share each other’s health insurance, as well as military, social security, and disability benefits. They can make medical decisions for each other. Companies grant bereavement leave for spouses, no questions asked, but there will be more hesitation if leave is requested for a mere friend. It is possible to marry a stranger and give them your health insurance but not possible to give health insurance to a parent...

Criteria based on sex made sense when the main purpose of marriage was to merge fortunes and produce children, but today...marriage is more about a match of devotion than a match of trade. In many cases, the point is no longer to create an heir and a spare. Plenty of married couples don’t have children (or sex, for that matter), and bad marriages with little caring are common...

Offering legal and social benefits only to the romantically attached suggests that the mere presence of romantic feeling elevates the care and deserves special protections, even though friendship and other forms of care, which can come with less obligation, can include more love, more freely given. Therefore, the legal and social privileges of marriage should be extended to all mutually consenting adults who wish for them...

'In terms of policy, marriage law really reaches into all areas of law, like tax and immigration and property,' ... 'It doesn’t matter if it’s different-sex only or same-sex marriage, so long as we restrict marriage to romantic and sexual partners we will ensure amatonormativity.' Reforming marriage law by abolishing it altogether or extending marriage-like rights to friends (to small groups or networks) is one way to eradicate discrimination."

Angela Chen, Ace: What Asexuality Reveals About Desire, Society, and the Meaning of Sex

#angela chen #ace #amatonormativity

[myriad--starlings]

You can be asexual if your disability caused your asexuality, and you can be asexual if sexual trauma caused your asexuality, and you can be asexual if you lose your sexual desire later in life. The asexual community should be there to help in all these cases. You don't have to be part of the asexual community forever, but the lesson that a happy life for aces is possible, regardless of origin, is one that is important and one that includes you too. It's for you even if you don't identify as ace.

-Angela Chen, Ace: What Asexuality Reveals About Desire, Society, and the Meaning of Sex

#ace book #ace up my sleeve #aspec #asexuality #local birb reads books

[makingqueerhistory]

Do you have any resources on ace history?

Always happy to share asexual history! I will start by assuming you have gone through our asexual articles (new one coming soon).

For books (below are affiliate links):

Refusing Compulsory Sexuality: A Black Asexual Lens on Our Sex-Obsessed Culture

Sherronda J Brown

Ace: What Asexuality Reveals about Desire, Society, and the Meaning of Sex

Angela Chen

For other people's articles, a personal favourite is:

Asexual Resonances: Tracing a Queerly Asexual Archive

For orgs, I personally love aroaceph!

#queer history #lgbt history #making queer history #answered #asexual history

[my-rose-tinted-glasses]

“Aces aren't a puzzle with a missing piece. Everyone is their own full puzzle.”

Angela Chen, Ace: What Asexuality Reveals About Desire, Society, and the Meaning of Sex

#heartstopper #lgbtqia #angela chen #ace #tobie donovan #isaac henderson #rosygifs

[all-seeing-ifer]

Aromanticism in Academia

Since it's currently Aromantic Spectrum Awareness Week and I'm currently in the middle of a master's research project about aromanticism and asexuality, I figured I'd contribute by putting together a list of some books and other academic sources I've read so far that deal with aromanticism! There's very little written about aromanticism in academia, so I think it's important to spotlight what we do have.

DISCLAIMER BEFORE THE LIST: Due to the lack of discussion of aromanticism specifically in academia, most of what I've found are texts that are primarily about asexuality but also discuss aromanticism. It's unfortunate, but it is also where we're kind of at right now in terms of academia, so bear that in mind.

Books:

Ace Voices: What it means to be asexual, aromantic, demi, or grey-ace by Eris Young - Definitely has the most focus on aromanticism of everything that I've read so far, this book draws from a combination of the author's personal experiences and interviews with other members of the a-spec community, including aroace and alloaro people. A good source of discussion of aro issues and how they interact with things like gender stereotypes. Also notable for its discussion of QPRs, a topic which I find has generally been ignored in academia about a-spec identities.

Ace: What Asexuality reveals about desire, society, and the meaning of sex by Angela Chen - Primarily deals with asexuality, as the title suggests, but also contains some relevant discussions of aromanticism, including the experiences of aroallo people. If you're going to check out the book, I would especially recommending looking at chapter 7: Romance, Reconsidered, which features most of the discussion of aromanticism and non-normative relationships

Refusing Compulsory Sexuality: A Black Asexual Lens on our Sex-Obsessed Culture by Sherronda J Brown - Again, asexuality is the main focus here, but I would still recommend checking out this book as it does still contain some useful discussion of aromanticism, particularly an extended critique of "singlism" (i.e. discrimination of single people) and how it is weaponised against aros. I also find Brown's criticism of the dehumanisation of aromanticism in media to be very compelling!

Minimizing Marriage: Marriage, Morality, and the Law - I would be remiss not to mention Brake's work here. While Minimizing Marriage is not specificallly about aromanticism and deals with marriage reform and the concept of amatonormativity more broadly, I think it's fair to say that many of Brake's ideas (particularly her coining of amatonormativity as a term) have become vital to the aro community and aro activism in recent years. Definitely a must-read for anyone interested in deconstructing amatonormativity and in contemporary critiques of marriage as an institution, though it's worth noting that this is a work of moral/political philosophy first and foremost, and as such it gets very into the weeds of things. Available on the Internet Archive here

Academic Articles/Essays (all can be found in the collection Asexualities: Feminist and Queer Perspectives):

"Why didn't you tell me that I love you?": Asexuality, Polymorphous Perversity, and the Liberation of the Cinematic Clown by Andrew Grossman - A really interesting and engaging analysis of the archetype of the silent film clown, and how it can be read as an a-spec figure. While Grossman uses the language of asexuality, his analysis makes it clear that he is looking at the clown as both an asexual AND aromantic character.

On the Racialization of Asexuality by Ianna Hawkins Owen - A personal favourite of mine. I think many parts of this essay will be very relevant to aromantic people, particularly Owen's investigation of how romantic love came to be pedastalised and her critique of attempts to normalise asexuality by distancing it from aromanticism.

Mismeasures of Asexual Desires by Jacinthe Flore - A critique of the pathologisation of asexuality that also discusses how aromanticism challenges common discourses around intimate relationships

Finally, I would like to mention the work of Bella DePaulo, who has written extensively about singlism and compulsory coupling, and who Brown uses extensively as a source in their writing on aromanticism. I didn't want to make this part of the main list because I haven't yet had a chance to get stuck into DePaulo's work, but based on Brown's mentions of her work I believe she has some very interesting ideas that are very relevant to aro people.

As you can probably tell, the list of academic sources dealing with aromanticism and aro issues is very limited. However, while aromanticism is vastly underdiscussed in an academic context, I'd like to point out that this is also only what I've been able to find so far. If anyone has any other recommendations please do add them to this post - I for one would love to hear about them!

#aro shtuff #asaw 2024 #aromantic awareness week #asaw #aromantic spectrum awareness week #aromantic #ifer rambles #also if u guys have recommendations for aro academia it would be very helpful for me personally #so y'know. there's that #grad school tag

[neverseemenaked]

START A CONVERSATION

Quote from Angela Chen’s excellent book Ace: What Asexuality Reveals About Desire, Society, and the Meaning of Sex which you should all read as your Valentine’s Day homework.

#asexual #asexuality #ace #webcomic #cartoon #humor #ynsmn #webtoon #webcomics #funny #valentine #valentine's day #valentines #candy hearts #conversation hearts #be mine #be my valentine

[bogkeep]

i'm listening to Ace: What Asexuality Reveals About Desire, Society, and the Meaning of Sex by angela chen and it's SUCH a banger of a book

#yes i realised i could listen to non-fiction books while i do school stuff two week ago.

[bookcub]

im presenting four books on a theme today for a ya audience and my theme is predictably asexuality. i wish i could have included more but here is my list

elatsoe by darcie little badger which is an urban fantasy about a girl, her ghost dog, friends, and family bringing justice to her cousins' murderer

you don't have a shot by racquel marie which is ya rom com, rivals to lovers style, in a soccer camp setting.

little thieves by margaret owen, a retelling of the goose girl from the evil maids perspective and chaos ensues

ace: what asexuality reveals about desire, society, and the meaning of sex by angela chen, a journalist's exploration of her asexuality and the community's

#asexuality #asexual books #ace books #ace stuff

[duckprintspress]

National Non-Fiction Day: 31 Titles to Get Your Queer Learn On!

In the past year, we’ve posted a lot about our favorite queer fiction titles. We wanted to take Non-Fiction day to talk about the non-fiction titles that have impacted us! Whether self-help, memoirs, psychology, history, sociology, or a different non-fiction genre, these are books that have helped us learn, helped us teach, helped us improve, helped us see and be seen, and helped us be more informed. So join us as we introduce our thirty-one recommendations for National Non-Fiction Day!

Fine: A Comic About Gender by Rhea Ewing

Gender Born, Gender Made: Raising Healthy Gender-Nonconforming Children by Diane Ehrensaft

Dear Senthuran: A Black Spirit Memoir by Akwaeke Emezi

Fun Home: A Family Tragicomic by Alison Bechdel

Ace: What Asexuality Reveals about Desire, Society, and the Meaning of Sex by Angela Chen

Here For It: Or, How to Save Your Soul in America by R. Eric Thomas

Transforming: The Bible and the Lives of Transgender Christians by Austen Hartke

Bitch: On the Female of the Species by Lucy Cooke

Unmasking Autism: Discovering the New Faces of Neurodiversity by Devon Price

My Lesbian Experience with Loneliness by Nagata Kabi

transister: Raising Twins in a Gender-Bending World by Kate Brookes

!Hola Papi!: How to Come Out in a Walmart Parking Lot and Other Life Lessons by John Paul Brammer

Strangers: Homosexual Love in the Nineteenth Century by Graham Robb

London and the Culture of Homosexuality, 1885 – 1914 by Matt Cook

Queering Your Craft: Witchcraft from the Margins by Cassandra Snow

Female Husbands: A Trans History by Jen Manion

The Ethical Slut: A Guide to Infinite Sexual Possibilities by Janet W. W. Hardy and Dossie Easton

The New Queer Conscience by Adam Eli

Before We Were Trans: A New History of Gender by Kit Heyam

Testosterone Rex: Myths of Sex, Science, and Society by Cordelia Fine

Peculiar Places: A Queer Crip History of White Rural Nonconformity by Ryan Lee Cartwright

Delusions of Gender: How Our Minds, Society, and Neurosexism Create Difference by Cordelia Fine

Queer Budapest, 1873 – 1961 by Anita Kurimay

LGBTQ-Inclusive Hospice and Palliative Care by Kimberly D. Acquaviva

Queering Colonial Natal: Indigeneity and the Violence of Belonging in Southern Africa by T. J. Tallie

Handbook of LGBT Elders: An Interdisciplinary Approach to Principles, Practices, and Policies edited by Debra A. Harley and Pamela B. Teaster

LGBT Transnational Identity and the Media by Christopher Pullen

Gender Diversity: Crosscultural Variations by Serena Nanda

LGBTQ Cultures: What Healthcare Professionals Need to Know about Sexual and Gender Diversity by M. J. Eliason and P. L. Chinn

The Terrible We: Thinking with Trans Maladjustment by Cameron Awkward-Rich

Trans Bodies, Trans Selves: A Resource for the Transgender Community edited by Laura Erickson-Schroth

You can view this list as a shelf on Goodreads!

It can be so difficult to find good non-fiction resources on queer topics. Which titles to DO you recommend?

#duck prints press #book recs #queer non-fiction #national non-fiction day #book recommendations #rec list

[scribbleymark]

"Many of us learn to desire by watching other people desire. We learn to desire George Clooney because People magazine says he’s the sexiest man alive; we want a beach body because of the constant marketing telling us that summer is only a few months away. In theory, mimetic desire can be perfectly fine. In practice, the world is not a neutral place. We are rarely surrounded by many types of people who represent many visions of life, free to pick the one that fits best. If you don’t know who you are or what you want, the world will decide for you. It will show you a couple of options and tell you those are the only ones...It takes active work to step back, to create even enough space to take a breath and admit that maybe you don’t know what you want, but what has been offered has never felt right."

-Angela Chen, Ace: What Asexuality Reveals About Desire, Society, and the Meaning of Sex

#angela chen #ace #amatonormativity

[reginasbread]

Relationships should always be a game of mix and match, not a puzzle that you have to perfectly snap into, or a Jenga tower that will collapse as soon as you try to wiggle one block out of place. Customizability is the best part, yet most people try so hard to make their relationship stick to its premade form, a one-size-fits-all shape. Many people don’t take advantage of their own freedom.

Angela Chen, Ace: What Asexuality Reveals About Desire, Society, and the Meaning of Sex

#angela chen

[makingqueerhistory]

Children's & Picture Books

When Aidan Became a Brother by Kyle Lukoff

Stonewall: A building. An Uprising. A Revolution by Rob Sanders

My Rainbow by Trinity and DeShanna Neal

My Maddy by Gayle E. Pitman

Our Rainbow by Little Bee Books

Middle Grade Books

Melissa by Alex Gino

The Stonewall Riots: Coming Out In The Streets by Gayle E. Pitman

This Is Our Rainbow: 16 Stories of Her, Him, Them, and Us edited by Katherine Locke and Nicole Melleby

Hurricane Child by Kacen Callender

Rick by Alex Gino

Young Adult Books

Trans+: Love, Sex, Romance, and Being You by Karen Rayne and Kathryn Gonzales

Beyond the Gender Binary by Alok Vaid-Menon

The New Queer Conscience by Adam Eli

Continuum by Chella Man

Meet Cute Diary by Emery Lee

Fiction, Any Ages

Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistle Stop Cafe by Fannie Flagg

The Deep by Rivers Solomon

Fierce Femmes and Notorious Liars: A Dangerous Trans Girl's Confabulous Memoir by Kai Cheng Thom

Passing Strange by Ellen Klages

Beyond the Pale Elana Dykewomon

Into the Drowning Deep by Mira Grant

Nonfiction, Any Ages

Ace: What Asexuality Reveals about Desire, Society, and the Meaning of Sex by Angela Chen

Marlene by C. W. Gortner

We Have Always Been Here: A Queer Muslim Memoir by Samra Habib

Double Cross: The True Story of the D-Day Spies by Ben Macintyre

The Pink Line by Mark Gevisser

The Tragedy of Heterosexuality by Jane Ward

Poetry

Poems by Emily Dickinson

Edward Carpenter’s Collected Works

IRL by Tommy Pico

Nepantla by Christopher Soto

Graphic Novels

A Quick & Easy Guide to Queer & Trans Identities by Mady G. and Jules Zuckerberg

Queer: A Graphic History by Meg-John Barker

Mooncakes by Suzanne Walker

Bingo Love by Tee Franklin

Did we miss your favourite? Tell us your favourite book written by a queer author or featuring queer characters below!