#a reread is truly the biggest compliment

[iamasaddie]

to hold you tonight

paring: Marcus Pike x f!afab!Reader

rating: explicit (18+ minors DNI)

word count: 1,9k~

summary: Marcus truly was your biggest fan. And now he wanted to become your only fan.

a/n: dead dove do not eat; i don't know what it is and why it is here. i'm drunk. this is unbetaed and unedited. do with it whatever. i will reread tomorrow and see if i like it at all lol.

warnings: NONCON turned something else; explicit sexual content, praise, obsessive behaviour, drugging, oral [f receiving], unsafe PinV, NO USE OF Y/N

MY MASTERLIST

ᴛʜɪꜱ ɪꜱ ᴀ ᴡᴏʀᴋ ᴏꜰ ꜰɪᴄᴛɪᴏɴ. ɪ ᴅᴏ ɴᴏᴛ ᴄᴏɴᴅᴏɴᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ꜱɪᴛᴜᴀᴛɪᴏɴꜱ ᴅᴇꜱᴄʀɪʙᴇᴅ ɪɴ ᴛʜɪꜱ ᴡᴏʀᴋ ɪʀʟ. ᴘʟᴇᴀꜱᴇ, ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ꜰᴏʀɢᴇᴛ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴡʀɪᴛɪɴɢ ᴀɴᴅ ʀᴇᴀᴅɪɴɢ ꜰɪᴄᴛɪᴏɴ ɪꜱ ᴀ ᴡᴀʏ ᴏꜰ ʜᴇᴀʟɪɴɢ ᴀɴᴅ ᴘʀᴏᴄᴇꜱꜱɪɴɢ ᴛʀᴀᴜᴍᴀ ꜰᴏʀ ꜱᴏᴍᴇ ᴘᴇᴏᴘʟᴇ, ᴀɴᴅ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴀɴɴᴏᴛ ᴅɪᴄᴛᴀᴛᴇ ᴏʀ ᴘᴏʟɪᴄᴇ ʜᴏᴡ ᴛʜᴇʏ ᴅᴏ ɪᴛ ᴀɴᴅ ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴛʏᴘᴇ ᴏꜰ ᴡᴏʀᴋꜱ ᴛʜᴇʏ ᴄʜᴏᴏꜱᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴄʀᴇᴀᴛᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ᴄᴏɴꜱᴜᴍᴇ. ꜱᴛᴀʏ ꜱᴀꜰᴇ, ᴘʀᴀᴄᴛɪᴄᴇ ᴄᴏɴꜱᴇɴꜱᴜᴀʟ ꜱᴇx ᴀɴᴅ ꜱᴘʀᴇᴀᴅ ʟᴏᴠᴇ.

"Oh, baby, look at this wet spot. Your panties are soaked already, and you’ve been awake for less than five minutes."

The man’s voice was calm and quiet, and strong. You couldn’t move your hands or legs, when you tried to at least move your he’d you realized that your eyes were the only thing that moved. You could feel every touch, could feel the warm air from his mouth and nostrils tickling the peach fuzz of your hair. But you couldn’t move. Not a single muscle listened to you. Your brain immediately succumbed to panic, but your heart rate refused to fasten, so the only thing that gave away your hysteria were your eyes.

The man above you finally stopped examining your  almost fully naked body, his hands were laying on top of your soft breasts as his face hovered above yours and he looked deep into your eyes. "Is it just for me?" One of his large palms let go of your breast and cupped your cunt. 

Is it just for me?

Is it just for me? 

Is it just for me?

You knew that man. You’ve already heard that voice, more than once. When the pizza place where you worked as a delivery girl fired you, you picked up the first job you could find. New York was never forgiving to poor people, but it was quite generous in terms of vacancies for all kinds of jobs. You stuck with being a live statue, something that worked well with your school schedule and wasn’t as emotionally exhausting. You loved watching the city, getting laughs and screams from unassuming tourists, plus the tips were always good. 

There were hundreds of people walking past you every single day, some faces would stick with you until the end of your shift, some you’d forget even before they passed you by. But him.You remembered that face so clearly sometimes you thought you could see it in the reflection of your mirror. Tall, handsome, clean-shaven, he was a picture perfect of a dream man. Everything about him was alluring, from the way his mouth curved as he gave you the compliments on your performance, staying after the crowds were already gone; to the way he smelled when he got closer to you one day - ripe cherry and bourbon.

You were flattered at first, you had a fan, but sometimes his eyes were too intense and would make you uneasy. When you stood still for an extra couple of minutes with him as the only witness, he’d laugh, the sound colder than the autumn wind ripping through your makeup, ‘is it just for me?’ he’d ask, and you’d feel the heat threatening to melt the silver paint on your cheeks. ‘Well, you seem to be my biggest fan.’

Now, laying in front of him, your body free of makeup and clothes, you knew your instincts didn’t lie. You should’ve changed the job. Should’ve found another pizza place. Too bad it was too late now. You could only remember him coming up really close, telling him he had something for you, and then an acidic smell followed by the darkness.

He was a psychopath, that was clear. 

When he looked into your eyes, his browns were gentle, but glazed with something. Was he high? You wanted to ask, to beg, but your mouth didn’t move, only your lower lip twitched a little.

"I am sorry, sweetheart, statues don’t talk. That’s the beauty of them. That’s the beauty of you."

He pressed his plush lips to your unmoving ones, his hot wet tongue licking a stripe inside.

"They don’t deserve you," he whispered into your mouth, "they’re so fucking dumb, they don’t understand art. And you… You’re art. I’m the only one who could see your true value. My Aphrodite, you finally came to me. I was afraid I would die alone, but not anymore, not with you by my side."

Did he… Did he actually think you were a statue that came alive? You weren’t even dressed like Aphrodite, just a fucking statue. He was insane, and you were fucked. 

You felt your heart start trembling, beating faster in the cold cage of your ribs. He heard what you felt. His lips pursed, "none of that, my goddess. Statues are calm, marble is quiet."

He put his hand on your chest, right between your breasts, and pressed. Somehow your heart listened to you, ignoring the fear-induced adrenaline coursing through your body. You were cold, and the room was dark. The table - judging by how hard it was beneath your spine and how high it was for the floor you guessed it was a table - was sticking to the parts of your skin pressed into it.

"Marcus and Aphrodite," he laughed quietly, "sounds funny, but we’ll make it work. When I make you mine, when every bit of your stone cold body belongs to me, it’ll work."

He lowered his head and started pressing soft kisses from the crook of your neck down. It was undoubtedly an uncomfortable position for him, having to crouch above you, but he didn’t seem jaded by it at all. His lips were warm against your skin, and you wondered how it was possible to feel both numb and on the verge of sensory explosion. You let yourself feel, just feel accepting whatever was going to happen to you. Your mind was as still as your body when he trailed his kisses down, unknowing that he was burning your skin through.

"So beautiful," his whisper sounded like prayer as he slowly tugged your panties off. "Every bit of you was created by a true master, even your cunt. So silky," he traced a finger through your weeping slit covering his index finger in your juices. "Blessing me with your grace."

His voice changed, becoming less gentle and more hungry, hands that were gentle mere moments ago were yanking your thighs apart and you felt more exposed than you ever were. Unable to move, to speak, just a conscious body for him to bless or to break.

You cried inside when he latched his lips on your clit without mistakes, two of his fingers finding home in your slick entrance as they pushed inside. You were lava around him, your marble exterior contrasting with the softness of your insides as he parted them and moaned. "Fuck, taste so good, so… divine." His tongue played with your clit, circling around it in precise movements as his thick fingers pushed in and out of you, spreading you further. If there were any thoughts in your head before it, now everything was completely gone. Every atom of your being surrendering to pleasure, to desperate want.

Your skin was tight, both with dried up paint and the upcoming orgasm, you needed to move, needed to slide your hands into the sickness of his hair and tug him closer into you. Marcus was ravenous, growls and slurping sounds echoing in the darkness of the room. He curled his fingers upwards, sliding the tips of them against the spongy part inside of you, sending you to the gods themselves as you felt your body internally ripping to shreds, goosebumps rippling under your skin.

"Good girl," he moaned into your cunt, immediately attaching his mouth to your pulsing and leaking entrance, shoving his tongue inside. When he drank enough of you, he reappeared in front of you, his face red, lower half of it glistening.  Marcus didn’t bother wiping himself, just grabbed your face in his hands and pressed a sloppy kiss onto your lips staining them with your wetness.

His hands flew to the zipper of his slacks, and he started quietly talking, you grasped every word through the blood pumping in your ears.

"I’m going to fuck you now, my goddess, I’m going to keep you full of my cum for hours, only this way we can be together. A part of me will sustain the life in you, and you will always belong to me. Always be grateful to me."

You heard his belt buckle clinking as he pushed his pants down. Part of you wished you could see his cock, but another part thought it’d only scare you and you didn’t want that. Not anymore. Not now.

"When you finally understand that it’ll be easier. For both of us." Marcus walked around, standing at the end of the table between your legs that were bent in the knees, and you thought you could almost feel the ground with your toes. His fingers spread your shining wet lips as the head of his thick cock notched on your entrance. "I want to hear you beg for me, like I begged for you night after night," he pushed inside in one easy stroke, your arousal mixed with his making his slide intense but painless. "Wanna feel you squirm and whimper," his cock parted you, and for a short moment you did feel like you were a statue and he was reconstructing you. Hammering your granite to create a new space. Something just for him. 

"I want to kiss the tears I spilled from your eyes," his movements were slow, but forceful, every time he pushed inside a rugged breath ripped out of you. Marcus pressed his lips to your neck, where the blood was pumping violently in your carotid artery.

"I want to break your stone and mark your marble." He hissed, and you felt his teeth closing around the soft flesh of your neck as he bit and sucked on it, making his wish come true.

He placed his arms around you, bracketing your body as his thrusts became more rapid. You didn’t blink, inhaling the intoxicating smell of his sweat and insanity. You felt the swell of his tummy sliding against your skin, you desperately wanted to wrap your legs around his hips, pulling him closer, deeper inside you.

His cock was painfully girth, every vein and ridge touching more of your nerve endings than you knew existed. Marcus breathed harder, he pressed his forehead against yours and as he licked his lips the wetness of his tongue touched your lips as well. "You’re so good. I’m going to fill you - oh, fuck, - fill you with life. You will not be a statue, you’ll be alive. Alive and always - fuck - always filled with my cock, my tongue, my fingers."

Marcus punched his cock into your cervix, a droplet of sweat collecting on the tip of his hooked nose as you felt his hips shudder, hot, thick cum spilling inside you and he could barely hold himself to not fall on top of you, his cock kept pushing in and out of you by inertia.

Heat rose from the inside of your body, you felt every muscle burning, the tips of your toes and fingers twitching. Marcus pulled out of you gently, placing one hand on your pulling entrance that was now spilling his cum, and gliding another one up and down your stomach and tits. You could finally move your head a little to see him spreading a sheen of sweat on your slick body, watching the leftover paint create intricate patterns on your skin. He didn’t look troubled, his smile was pure and genuine when he looked at you once again.

"I told you we’d make it work, my Aphrodite. Now you’re free. Free to be only mine."

—————

consider leaving a comment if you liked what you read 💙

#iamasaddie fic #marcus pike #marcus pike x you #marcus pike x reader #the mentalist fic #pedro pascal fanfiction

[moonlightdancer26]

I just discovered your blog and let me tell you : You're a breath of fresh air. I needed a break from the madness of the marauders stans. I hate how they stripped Snape of all his layers, all his complexity, and either gave it to Regulus or erase it. They reduced him to a one-dimensional bully. But the worst, is when they say that James and co. did nothing wrong, that they were just funny pranksters, that it was a RiValRY ( because 4 or 2 against 1 is clearly fair ). As someone who has been bullied as a child, that chapter made me want to vomit. How can anyone excuse that bs ?

Just to be clear, I will not excuse Snape's mistakes. He did fuck up many times, no excuses. But I truly believe that if he had a HEALTHY support system, and if there was therapy in the wizarding world, he would've never become a death eater. That guy joined Voldemort because he thought he had no choice, he pretended to be racist because he wanted to fit in. How can anyone be blind to that? And that's coming from someone who's had a crush on Sirius Black ( the adult one, the younger one can die ) before they turned him into a woke sissy.

That’s one of the biggest compliments I could ever receive, thank you so much 🥰

I completely agree, I don’t really have much of a problem if they think Severus is a bad person (he certainly was morally grey, so it isn’t that big of a reach), but there’s a difference between thinking a character is a bad person and stripping them of all their complexity and painting them to be a villain with zero redeeming qualities. Over the years, Severus has become a symbol of grey characters, and he is genuinely one of the most brilliantly-written characters I’ve ever seen or read. It’s so unfair of them to strip all that away and disregard his whole arc.

And the fact that they do all that while pretending like the most irrelevant characters ever (James and Reginald Regulus) had his best traits and were more canonically interesting than he is and then acting superior to Snape fans is insanely ridiculous. They do it with so much confidence too 💀 as if we were the ones who had to give the Character We Hate Whose Character We’ve Purposefully Simplified’s best traits to our non-existent faves.

As someone who has been bullied as a child, that chapter made me want to vomit. How can anyone excuse that bs ?

Ikr?? I read OoTP a few years before the same thing happened to me. And honestly, when I was a kid, every time I reread SWM after it happened I would get panic attacks. (It usually doesn’t happen now, but I still get filled with hatred whenever I read James physically immobilising and stripping Severus.)

I will not excuse Snape's mistakes. He did fuck up many times, no excuses. But I truly believe that if he had a HEALTHY support system, and if there was therapy in the wizarding world, he would've never become a death eater.

Absolutely. His trauma was left unattended and he was a 18/19 year old who was recruited by a charismatic man who promised his young followers power and respect. So many of the DEs we see in Harry’s time were recruited in their late teens/early twenties, and I think it really says a lot. Those are actual methods used in real life cults in order to groom, manipulate, and sometimes even emotionally blackmail people into joining. Severus was clearly a victim, and even if he had the worst intentions when joining, he eventually defected (and by eventually I mean literally less than two years) and fought for the light side 10 times longer than the amount he followed Voldy for, and he was vital to his demise. That more than makes up for it, and seeing people saying shit like “you’re not a hero for cleaning up milk you spilt” makes it clear that his haters have zero reading comprehension or critical thinking skills.

And that's coming from someone who's had a crush on Sirius Black ( the adult one, the younger one can die ) before they turned him into a woke sissy.

lol I’m still obsessed with both the adult and younger one

#you can still dislike him and acknowledge that he’s complex 💀 it ain’t hard to admit that not ALL the characters you hate are irredeemable #anti snaters #anti james potter #pro severus snape #pro snape #severus snape #anti marauderfen #anti marauders stans #anti marauder stans #anti marauders stan #harry potter #snape #hp #ask #asks

[mirzamsaiph]

Hi!!! Just wanted to tell you that you are one of my favourite ao3 authors around:DD I love all of your ideas and I’m honestly obsessed with your writing style!!! The way you write the family dynamic between Percy and Poseidon (and the rest of the seafam) in reacting to pjo actually makes me insane because of how great it’s written!! Also foaming at the mouth because of your time travel fic and especially because of the dynamics you’ve created!!!

It’s always a gift when you update a fic (and this is said with no pressure!!) and sometimes i just scroll through your tumblr to reread some of your thoughts on pjo:DD

Just think you deserve to know because you’re awesome and you should know how awesome you are<333

hehehe thank you so much!! This is the biggest compliment ever. Sometimes I fear that I don’t write the way I think I do, so knowing people love my writing style is truly so amazing <3

I love writing Percy and Poseidon. They are so family, and so amazingly cute when I can actually write them in a correct way!

MY TIME TRAVEL FIC😭 I really do need to start working on that, so thank you, once again, for reminding me about that poor fic.

You are so sweet 🥲 🥹 thank you so much for your ask🫶🏻

#mir answers

[tiredmamaissy]

Once again rereading the Ra’lak series😈 It’s just so good I can’t help, but keep going back to it, like I’m 97% sure I can quote it. I just…I can’t get over how FUCKING GOOD it is!! 10/10 would print it and bind it just to keep on my bookshelf as my own lil person novel written by hers truly💗💗

Oh my goodness this is the biggest compliment I’ve gotten 😭 binding it and putting it on your bookshelf?? Ilysm!!!! I’m so happy you enjoy the series my love 💜💜💜 and thank you 🥹

[maaxverstappen]

i knowwww omg icb there’s only been 2 chaps so far, i feel like i’ve been reading it forever (probably bc i’ve reread it a million times LMAO) it’s literally my fav fic ever rn

i was wondering if we’d be seeing charles on the sim next chapter?? i feel like charles showing off how good of a quali lap he can put in would truly be a sexual awakening for max HAHAHAAH

also omg AT THE END WHEN CHARLES MESSAGED MAX???? bro I am so insane about ur story, u don’t even knowwwwww ❤️❤️❤️❤️

bestie that’s the biggest compliment ever thank u. big smile on my face :) i shall work on chapter 3 tonight just for u hehehe.

i think we might see charles on the sim in chapter 3 👀 perhaps he’s really good.

ok a little spoiler / tease under the cut!!

a draft of some charles messages in chapter 3 hehe

CharlesPlays16: ok i finished setting it up! Let me know when you want pictures :)

CharlesPlays16: its ok if you don’t feel comfortable with that!

CharlesPlays16: sorry 😑

CharlesPlays16: how do i connect it to my OBS do you know?

CharlesPlays16: nvm i found it :]

CharlesPlays16: … are you ok emilian?

CharlesPlays16: usually you reply quickly haha

CharlesPlays16: you can just say if you're busy you know you dont have to ignore me

CharlesPlays16: will you be around for the stream tonight?

CharlesPlays16: wanted to test it out but you should be there i think

CharlesPlays16: that is only fair

#ok this is now my fav ever ask #thank u <3333333 #fic: help me hold onto you #m answers

[danzinora-switch]

You know what? I’m not done. 

More takes from my rereading of Fablehaven:

- Mara. There’s never enough to say about her, she’s such a badass. Probably my biggest fist pump moment was in book 5 when she’s leading them through the Dreamstone “staying oriented is my biggest strength”. Girl, I RELATE. I have a pretty good sense of navigation myself, taken from my dad. It was so awesome to see it treated akin to a superpower in a book.

- Nero’s massage in book 1 was so well-described I have actually given other people massages based on those methods. And received many compliments.

- Newel and Doren! Likable from the very beginning. I love Grandpa Sorenson vs Patton’s approach to satyrs - Grandpa mentions work to get them to go away, Patton mentions sport to get them to work. But these guys come all the way to Zzyzx, and THAT counts for a lot.

- I’m still on the fence about leaving Dale in a safehouse at Fablehaven. On the one hand, yeah, he is not the adventure dude. On the other hand - he braved the inverted tower alongside Tanu and Coulter. Broke both his legs, but he still went. And he full-on tackled a dark satyr in book 3 so that the others could make it to the pond. And let’s not forget about the shotgun. I feel like the battle at Zzyzx would be a bit different if Dale was there with his shotgun.

- Warren is still my favorite character. He really sticks his neck out for others, even when it gets repeatedly chopped. He leads the way through the inverted tower, through the vault at Lost Mesa, is the one-man rescue mission at Living Mirage, and truly gives every task his all. The description of Neil’s death is especially potent. Gosh, it gets you, but you also see how Warren reacts. He guided every single person through the chokepod cave and Neil was the only one who didn’t make it. And he punches a wall so hard his knuckles bleed. He really cares. And he’s also on Seth’s side, essentially sneaking him into Wyrmroost. Seth really needed an ally and Warren understands. Plus, he’s funny. 

- Maddox the fairy broker. Cool guy, been through hell. As a kid, fairy brokering made sense to me. Yeah, this is a world of magical creatures. Creatures. But on the reread I have so many ethical questions.

- The description that they watched the demon horde poor out of Zzyzx and into the fairy realm for THREE HOURS is what really sold the ‘horde’ for me. That truly is a massive amount of demons, and yeah, there is no hope of fighting that.

- I love unique solutions to big problems. Like slaying Siletta the poison dragon with a unicorn horn. Or the Russian Doll key/vault for the Translocator. Or the pod for Seth surviving Olloch the Glutton. It all just fits very nicely.

- The Sphinx is such an interesting antagonist. He is so PATIENT and that’s what’s made him so dangerous. It’s unique for a bad guy, in my opinion, but it’s largely what makes Graulus completely shuffling the deck so important. There was no other way out of the Sphinx’s plan. It was also interesting seeing him there as an ally at the battle of Zzyzx, and I think his punishment is fitting, though a part of me still agrees with Vanessa. 

- I think what makes Coulter’s death hit harder is that we see it from Seth’s POV. Kendra has watched several people die: she sees Errol taken down by a panther, Tammy flung off a cliff, hears Neil die then has to crawl past his liquefying corpse, witnesses Dougan get eaten, Gavin/Navarog get eaten... by the time Vincent is dying beneath the ice it’s no wonder she feels numb, and that they just need to keep moving there’s no saving him. Seth, on the other hand. Seth witnesses “Kendra” “die” which is ROUGH, but then he quickly learns that she’s still alive. Vincent is his first death, but he disappears out of sight and we also just met the guy. But Coulter... Coulter dies in his arms. And he’s not a stingbulb, he’s really dead. And we’ve known him since book 2. No wonder it hits Seth hard. No wonder he feels like this is the worst mistake he has ever made. These kids are traumatized, and the story doesn’t skimp over those details. They all have major trust issues by book 5. Kendra’s having nightmares. Seth is sadder, and more brooding. They save the world and it looks like they’ll heal with a happy ending, but they did go through some dark stuff and it left its mark.

- The concept of the Quiet Box forever fascinates me. Since I’m pretty sure it pauses aging (Kendra’s stingbulb is able to live for more than 3 days inside it) there is one other person from the Sphinx’s history alive - the jailer’s assistant whom he had put inside to free Nagi Luna. That poor guy whenever he gets out. 

Will probably have more, frankly.

#fablehaven

[chryblossomjjk]

hi kiki !!! im pretty new here and this is the first ask i’ve sent but i just wanted to pop in and say how much i adore not only ur writing but just u in general !! both practice and imagine are incredible n i could go on and on about how much comfort ive found in ur writing and ur characters but we’d be here for DAYS… weeks even 🫣 idk how to explain this exactly but u do such a wonderful job at making the story and the characters so beautifully human… like ofc most stories keep it as realistic as possible but when i read urs i literally feel like im living the experience or watching the ppl i love from the sidelines yk?? its just so REAL and RAW and i cant get enough. when i tell u practice couple have me by the NECK like ive reread it so many times already and i find something new to love about it every single time !!! i hope everyone finds a love like theirs, truly.

and as for u, U ARE SOOO PRECIOUS. ive spent the last few days catching up on kiki lore just bc i wanted to get to know u better aside from ur works and u have stolen my heart actually !! ur so funny and down to earth and i can tell just how much u love writing and interacting with everyone and something about u and ur page is so warm and cozy and refreshing 🥺 i hope ur taking care and that u always find things that bring u joy in every day, even if it’s something little!! u deserve all the good things this world has to offer and as a new follower i cant wait to see what the future has in store for u and im so happy to experience this little journey!! and i hope u never forget how loved n valued u are, u have a beautiful heart and dont let anyone ever tell u otherwise!!

ill wrap this up bc ive already made this so long but thank u for all that u do 🥺🫂🫶🏻 u work so hard to create these amazing stories for us and i hope u know we will never take that for granted ! always remember to rest and put ur health first, i know life can get crazy so it’s important that u look after urself !!!

p.s. - so excited for the weekend i could pee my pants. u have no idea.

not sure what emoji i should go by in ur asks… hmm… maybe ⭐️? or is that taken already?

lots of love to u!!

ummm soooooo

idk what tf i've done to be deserving of such a sweet message but im literally tearing up while writing smut what have u do to me friend akejndajdnsajn

first of all, thank you so much for being here and sending in such a sweet fucking ask. i hope you're enjoying your time on here so far my love!!

and this is probably one of the biggest compliments ive ever recieved about my writing. its so reassuring so thank you so so so so much ugh! its so incredibly difficult to make things feel/sound realistic. i often mull over the same scene and dialogue over and over and over again, wondering if the conversations feel normal, or if the dialogue feels right for that specific character, so your comment literally means everything to me!! and it makes me so happy that you care about the characters like im literally fucking gushing!!

AND EXCUSE U NO YOU YOU'RE PRECIOUS AND YOU DESERVE EVERYTHING GOOD IN THE WORLD NO STFU YOU NOT ME YOUUUUUU!!!!

I LOVE YOU SO DEARLY!!!

i generally feel like i am a very annoying n extra human being lol so thank you for sticking through n reading my posts and yeah :'(( i do really love interacting with people on here and i try my best to make this blog feel as safe and inviting as possible so im it makes me saur soft that you feel that way and ugh i cant i dont even know what to say other than i love u sm my lil star friend :'))

#anon #fic: the weekend #fic: practice #fic: imagine #⭐️ #bookmarking #for when i feel sad #you're the sweetest soul ever pls #lemme kiss ya >:(

[st-danger]

hi saint! original anon that requested the spanking overstim that made it into Reap What You Sow here :) just wanted to let you know that i reread that fic pretty much monthly. its probably the most erotic fic i have in my bookmarks and i cant get enough <333 hoping to see you fuck dew up even more in the future

(and if we're doing anon nicknames, could i perhaps be darling ghoul anon? what you said in the rwys summary had me kicking my feet and twirling my hair. hehe)

My Darling Ghoul!

I had so much fun writing that one, and I am truly thrilled that you enjoy it as much as you do. To know it's being re-read is the biggest compliment.

Thank YOU.

#st-speaks

[seiwas]

I know sometimes u might not feel great about ur works. God do I hate when that happens to me, u just feel down the entire day but when atleast one person compliments u, u go all💞😍❤️💗💞💓💖 n start feeling better about yourself! (Im a painter so I’ve been there A LOT😭😭)

Thats why I always like to send in lil appreciative asks to my favourite writers so that it motivates them! Seeing their responses always makes me happy too!! Never doubt yourself coz ur writing is simply brilliant n I could never even dream about writing like u, it’s so good n I always enjoy it sm! We need to appreciate Fic writers, esp the ones on here coz no way ur letting us people read such brilliant pieces for free??😭 No seriously, Im so so glad! The least I could do is send in some nice words in ur inboxes to let u know that ur works AND u are appreciated by me 🫶

Plz I saw someone post about an iwa wip on my dash n It refreshed before I could click in it n assumed it was u since they had a gojo manga profile pic as well Im so sorry😭 But So excited to read whatever ur posting next💗 Iwa or not I will be checking it out heh. N whenever u decide to post that Iwa fic in ur wips, I will be the happiest coz thats my #3 hq man after Kuroo n Atsumu plzkshd Love him sm!

Hope u have the loveliest day!

zuro anon

zuro anon 🥺 i am giving you the biggest, warmest hug rn 😭 actually sniffling at this rn someone hand me a box of tissues 🤧

you get it so much zuro anon, it really does get you down and stuck sometimes ☹️ and you’re so right too!! that a single compliment can really just 🚀 shoot everything up to 💗🥺❣️😭 ✨ which you really did for me yesterday 😭 and rn 😭 gosh!!! you’re a painter!!! 🥺 that is so lovely!! i hope i get to praise your works one day the same way you’ve done to mine 😭☹️🫶🏻

you’re truly the sweetest for doing that for real 😭 spending the time out of your day to do that!! you’re heaven sent zuro anon 😭✨ literally you have the most precious heart!!! 🥺💓 your writers definitely appreciate what you’re doing omg 😭 jajsoendjd i appreciate you so much!!! 😭 i literally dk what else to say !!! just that !!! my heart is so full !! and i am so happy u stumbled upon my lil blog here n that we’ve created a nice space for us to talk like this !! 🥺 and support and uplift each other 🥹☹️

and pls don’t apologise abt mistaking me for an iwa simp 😭 bc it isn’t a mistake. i am down horrendous for that man 😭 you are the sweetest zuro anon i am literally going to be rereading this message everytime i feel a lil bit poopy 🤧💩 i will think of u everytime i write for iwa now 🥹💗 our shared love for our resident spiky boy 💗

i hope YOU have the loveliest day zuro anon! i love u ☹️❣️

#nonie.zuro #i love the lil space we have created here !!! #just spreading love love love and more lOVE #and zuro anon !!! u r so much a part of that by sending things like this 🥺 #ure like a masked hero lmao JAKNSLSKSKJKSJSKSJD HELP #ok i love u i am treasuring this #ask #rep #love mail #matcha latte

[canongf-archive]

hi liv!! sorry if this is a bit weird to say but you remind me a lot of what it must be like to have an older sister/cousin. yiu have really nice energy and i lvoe your blog!! keep doing what your doing :]] i hope you have a good day/night!

💗 hi nonnie!!!!! 💗

this is not weird to me at ALL!!! this is!!! so sweet!!! reading it put the biggest smile on my face and i have gone back and reread it over and over and over again bc it makes me so happy!!! "you remind me of what it must be like to have an older sister / cousin" is truly one of the highest compliments and it means the absolute world to me!!! those are the vibes i've always wanted to give!!! thank you for seeing me and treating me with such kindness!!! thank you for being here!!! i hope you have a good day / night too!!!!! 💗

#like!!! #i grew up the youngest!!! #i was surrounded by older siblings and cousins and all their friends #and i remember they were always so cool and nice #and i wanted to be like them so bad #so the thought of giving off. older sister / older cousin vibes #is truly like a dream come true it is so special to me #thank you thank you thank you!!! <3 #also 2 anyone reading this who needs a sister / cousin / whatever: u have me. #not like in a weird fandom mom way or anything #just when u need to know someone is proud of u and likes to hear abt ur day #u know #<333 #sweetness.ask #anon

[gojonanami]

Sab, my dearest, my beloved, the light of my life,

I know I'm two weeks late (and that a certain professor would be on my ass for it) but I had the wonderful idea of re-reading the whole Prof Geto series before reading part 6, thinking it would make for the best emotional impact and after doing just that I have to say... my hypothesis was correct. There wasn't a single second where I regretted my decision (except, maybe when I had to read the breakup scene again 😭), not a single dull word in the +90k masterpiece you wrote (isn't that the length of a novel!?), the flow of your writing is just so good, the dialogue, the internal conflict of the characters... I loved all of it, Sab. This series holds a special place in my heart and I'll probably read it time and time again in the future ❤️❤️❤️

And this chapter– god. I really have no words, it was just a whirlwind of emotions. I was giggling and kicking my feet in the hair like a teenager and I even cried at some point. I loved the beginning, the raw emotion of seeing each other again after what happened, the longing... the way Suguru and Yuta felt so conflicted about their feelings for the reader, and her getting jealous over Mei Mei... omg.

I also loved how Geto helped her with the citations of her dissertation (they were my worst nightmare during undergrad) and hated how Yuta broke up with her right after she presented it. How could he ruin such and special day like that!!! (Ofc I know it made sense to have it happen right then, but gosh 😭💔) but anyway, regarding Yuta... I love how you've set up his part. I'll love to read it when the time comes ❤️❤️

Oh! And the way Yaga *knew*. Now I can't believe that the whole reader assigned as a T.A thing wasn't tampered by him in some way– he had to play a part in that, and I bet he wasn't too fussed with them sharing a hotel room, as long as Suguru was happy hahah.

And then, the passion in his office, the reconciliation and the ending... I had to stop reading a couple of times because I was getting way too emotional, Sab. It was beautiful. I can't wait to see more of them in the extra credit fics (!!) I really hope you make a proposal one <3

I wanted to thank you for writing this series, I've loved it more than I could ever expect to and I believe it came to me in a point of my life where it just... made sense. I was stressed and unsure about continuing in academia and I believe I told you a few months back that I was applying to grad school... well, I got accepted and then hired as a research assistant at the same university!! This is as close as it gets to me living reader's life though I'll keep living vicariously through her for a while longer, I think.

Anyway– I believe I'm babbling now. I just want to thank you again for writing this wonderful series. I'm so excited for Prof Gojo and all the wonderful things you'll write in the future, Sab ❤️

baby, love of my life, the sun to my earth

haha I think prof geto would more than forgive you — especially after the diligent work you did rereading — dare I say he would be very impressed—and I am too omg

I cannot believe you read all 90K+ that’s insane and it means so much to me 😭🥹 thank you so much — it truly means the world to me because I had so much fun writing it!! it was really a special series to me and will continue to be as I write more extra credit fics :).

ahhh I can’t believe you cried 😭 I’m sorry but also thank you haha. it’s the biggest compliment 😭🥹 I really wanted to convey both yuta and suguru’s conflicted emotions — and I’m glad they came across 😭 writing mei mei was so fun because it was very spur of the moment — and I love jealous reader 🥹🫣

citations are truly a nightmare and when I thought of the idea to have that be reader’s crisis, it was so perfect because I think so many of us in academics can relate to that 😭 we all deserve a suguru. I can’t wait to write yuta!!! it’s def gonna have stuff from prof Geto like the repercussions of his relationship with reader and it will be fun :)

hahah yaga knowing was also spur of the moment — it just felt full circle since so many times he’s also pulled them apart in some way 😭😭😭

thank you 🥹💕 I’m glad you enjoyed the reconciliation scene — it was so important to me to get that so right. and I really took my time and I’m glad you think I got it right 🥹💕💕I’m def writing the proposal!!! Don’t worry :)

aww baby thank you for reading 😭🥹 I’m so glad this series could help you in any small way that it did. omg I do remember and that’s amazing!!!! Congratulations I’m so so proud of you (and professor geto is too)!!!

writing this series also came at the perfect time for me because it just was such a wonderful thing to post a new part and see everyone’s reactions — it truly made my day. I especially loved your asks as well 🥹💕

thank you for being here and sticking around. I can’t wait to start writing more of professor gojo — I think you guys will really like it 🫶🥹💕

#sab [asks] #satorusmochis #also I love your username so much #it always makes me smile #sab series [prof suguru] #sab [praise]

[bysaber]

ummmm HIYAAAAA, is this SABER??? im jkkk , im so loving the new theme, im like vibing with it so hard you have no idea. the colours really compliment each other. im like so so so so sorry I haven't been in touch, I had so many ASSignments to do that my screen time became a mere hour and that was like catching up with my family. but lemme just say I just read/reread every single ficmas post today and mmmmh with a little cup of tea ( I kept going back for more bc your fics are so comfy to me) by my side it totally soothed me. and I just wanna say if anyones disappointed in you for dropping something that made you feel stressed and anxious , TRUST!!! , they can come fight me anytime of the day bc im DOWNNN. im so happy and honestly proud of the 15 days you accomplished because when I say that they were all beautifully written like , im NOT LYING and I could never, I have so many ideas in my head but honestly scared to even write a single paragraph and publish it bc I am my own biggest hater and critic. anyways I don't mean to put the spotlight on me but rather show you that im not just saying this for the sake of saying but I truly do mean it. Also Im not really accustomed to work without holiday since I haven't begun working yet but isn't Christmas like a worldwide holiday, and they still didn't give you a holiday???

also I just realised I never really introduced myself, i have like this thing where I never interact with my blog because it doesn't have much reblogs or works bc im like one of those kids who got introduced to the concept of the internet at like their late teen years so it took me a while to figure out how this app works or any app for that matter (yeah so like opposite of an iPad baby, we exist! ) so I think ppl might find me suspicious.. idk there's something wrong with the way I think haha.

but I totally would LOVVEEE to be mutuals with you, if you'd like the same.

this must be so much to read, sorry I went a lil overboard but yeah all in all, cant wait for all of your future upcoming pics which I know will blow my mind again and again and again. ( also I don't want this to seem like im putting pressure on you to release fics faster GOD NO, I just mean like I could wait an eternity if it means I could read your work!)

so wish you the ultimate best, saber, I hope everything is well in your life both personal and work and if not, I hope it all turns out to be fine and all in your favour. >>>>>3333

HIYAAA BOO <3

First of all, you don't need to apologize for disappearing! Life is a pain in the ass sometimes and we can't dive into our fantasy world (tumblr), I TOTALLY GET IT!!! But I hope everything worked out for you and that now you have time to enjoy some free time!!!

(more under the cut)

My old theme was getting on my NERVES, I wasn't satisfied (hehe) with it but I'm really happy with this one. And I brought the true Saber to life. I'm glad you liked it <3 it'll probably stick around.

IT MAKES ME SO HAPPY THAT MY FICS MAKE YOU FEEL THIS WAY!!!!!! It's enough to make me want to keep writing because knowing one person appreciates what I write already makes everything worth it. I would LOVE to know who you are and become mutuals, and it's fine if your blog isn't filled with things.

At some point, I also was a "ghost" tumblr user.

Like, for years.

I guess I've been here since the SuperWhoLock era but only started interacting in the past three years -- then decided to create a new account and start again. I've been reading/writing fanfic as far as I can remember, but that was in my mother language and I had to gather so much courage to try it in english. But I'm happy I did. And I would love to hear your ideas and maybe see what you can write <3 it's never too late.

I'm with a few fics ideas including a series and I'm really looking forward to write them all, I hope you like them when the time comes!! And don't worry, I don't feel pressured at all <3

About my work!!! Yes, the holidays are worldwide as far as I'm concerned but since my job has a flexible working hours and it's remote, it sounds good but I actually never stop working. I work with advertising and we spend money to upload ads and even for every time someone clicks in our ads, so I have to check the data from time to time to make sure the incoming compensates the money we're spending. If not, I have to take it down and change the campaign 100% it's maddening

Ok now I feel like I TALKED TOO MUCH!!! I'm sorry. But thank you for your message and all the love you always give me, I have no words for you but I really really appreciate it every time you pop in my inbox <3 and please if you feel comfortable let's be moots.

#askaway #anon

[tobesobri]

same anon who wrote about rereading traditions- i also want to say you’re so right about how there’s barely any stories where the mc is insecure (at least insecure in the same way i am, and i guess you too because of the writing lollll) and what i love about your writing and what makes it so special to me is there are always several moments in the story where i TRULY feel my heart sink to my stomach because of how accurate/similar the mc’s feelings are to my own. obviously being able to relate to a character makes you like a story more but you’re on a completely different level it’s insane!! it’s such a gift to be able to not only write a relatable character but also express their feelings in such a specific and nuanced way to really get me pausing and taking a deep breath every few paragraphs 😭 anyway i just keep thinking about that story i love it so much!! hope you have a good night <3

thank you 🥺 yeah i’ll read stories and the mc behaves/responds to things in ways i would never and so i just wanted to put some of my own experiences in there and make it relatable to people who aren’t so confident and super outgoing. and i feel like there’s been a push for authors to make their female mc’s super badass and outgoing and what not all the time but then they do it and they put all the insecurities and tragedies into the male mc and im like! wait the female mc can have baggage too which is why i liked a court of silver flames so much. but anyway!! its always the biggest compliment when someone can relate or my writing makes them feel a certain way bc that’s the main reason why i even share my writing so that others see they arent alone in what they’re going through. this is just super nice and im sorry i took so long to respond i’ve been busy but this made my whole month now lol and tbh im kinda inspired to get back into writing now so thank you!!! ❤️❤️❤️

[kemonododo]

School Live!/Gakkou Gurashi!

Yes i’m currently obsessing over a 7 year old anime.

Ok, so after rewatching the anime and rereading volumes 1-5 of the manga, here are my thoughts on the comparison of the two.

The anime absolutely understands the potential of the story and capitalizes on that spectacularly, it took the prompt the manga gave and absolutely ran with it to create a much more emotional experience that feels like a Randy Savage elbow drop on the gut. I can’t stress enough how it takes the characters of Yuki and Megu-nee and elevates them to the best versions these characters can be.

However, in the process of slicing up and rearranging the series to suit Yuki’s delusions, it does end up hurting the characters. The anime makes sure to take a moment to give back a little to Kurumi and Mii-kun, giving the former a new layer about feeling forced into the role she’s in while keeping her as the emotional bedrock of the group and expanding the later’s arc on discovering the difference between surviving and living and to take life in her own hands. Still, I really liked parts like Kurumi resorting to killing to relieve stress and Mii-kun being a little bitchy armchair psychologist that the anime drops. I especially miss Kurumi straight up about to knock Mii-kun’s teeth out for talking down to her. She’s too cool-headed in the anime.

Yuki also has some great scenes showing she is somewhat aware of her surroundings, she knows when the others are fighting and gives advice even when it feels like she shouldn’t understand whats going on, but I get why the anime skipped over that to keep us mostly in her age regressed mind.

Sadly though, poor Yuuri gets shafted, and goes from a pretty great parallel of Yuki to a pretty one-note big sister trope she was originally meant to be a subversion of. In the manga, Yuuri’s demeanor is just as fake as Yuki’s delusions, but when the pressure breaks both of them, Yuki takes action while Yuuri collapses into depression. There’s several scenes with Yuuri falling apart piece by piece until ultimately snapping. In the anime she just looks kind of sad and scared in the last few episodes and that’s about it.

On that note, the biggest difference to me is the art style. I get the moe aesthetic is very important for the themes at play, but the manga knows when to drop it and get serious while the anime feels like they’re hesitating and don’t want the waifus to ugly cry too much. Just compare Yuuri’s breakdown in the anime vs the manga, the first is just sad anime girl but the second is gut wrenching. 

Or THAT moment

Ultimately both are great, and I think they fully compliment each other. Experiencing one elevates the other. I am truly, genuinely thankful for the series being so different from the manga for, if nothing else, it lets me stay just a bit longer with these amazing characters.

#gakkou gurashi! #anime #manga #school live! #gakkou gurashi

[ur-riddikulus]

You’re Worth It (Bucky Barnes)

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: You are the resident therapist for the Avengers and Steve asks you for a favor. He wants you to have a therapy session with Bucky. Then you find out that Bucky wasn’t exactly aware of this plan.

Warnings: some cursing, Bucky’s angsty past, a couple small sexual innuendo. Also like a ton of angst but I promise that it does get better lol.

A/N: This is my first fanfic on here. I posted some Harry Potter ones before this, but I reread them and thought I could do better. So, here we are! Thank you for reading and if you want this to turn into more parts, I can totally do that. <3

You had been in your office preparing for your next patient when Steve walked in.

“Hey, Dr. Y/L/N, can I ask you for a favor?” He asked, putting his hands in a praying motion.

“Yeah, absolutely! I do have a patient soon, though.” You replied. You were glad to help, Steve is a great patient and has been improving impressively. So well, in fact, you didn’t know if he would even need to see you much longer.

“Do you know Bucky Barnes? He’s an old pal of mine. He has been against going to therapy for a long time, but you’ve helped me so much and Bucky needs some help too I think. Plus, he saw you around the tower and thought you were cute.” Steve says.

You blushed at that last part, silently wishing you didn’t. You had a rule against dating any patient or anyone in the tower, since it would just be awkward when you inevitably break up. Every relationship you’ve ever been in hasn’t lasted long, considering you’ve never been able to find someone you truly liked.

“Yeah, of course I know Bucky. You don’t shut up about him during your therapy sessions and I’ve seen him sulking around the tower myself. I would love to help him, but like I said, I have another patient soon. I will only have therapy with him if it’s his choice though. And I think he’s absolutely gorgeous but I have a rule against dating anyone who lives or works in the Tower.” You explained.

You looked at the time, Tony Stark, your next patient, would be here any minute. You were the sole therapist for Avengers Tower. There maybe should have been another one, but Tony had one session with you and said that you were the best he’s ever had and no one would ever dare be a therapist and step into his tower again. He even gave you the title of ‘Chief of Mental Health’ despite being literally the only person in that department.

Steve must have noticed you checking your watch, because he said ,”Oh, and I bribed Tony to change his appointment and give it to Bucky, so you kind of have no choice.” 

You looked up, “What? Who knew that Mr. Captain America himself was a cunning little bitch.” You joked, shaking your head. You and Steve, hell, you and everyone in the tower had that kind of relationship. And, he knew you swore like a sailor, so he even ignored it sometimes.

At that moment, Bucky walked in. He looked so handsome with his shoulder-length hair and baby blue eyes. He even looked a little nervous. Well, that’s not surprising, you thought. Everyone, even you, was a tad nervous on the first session.

Steve put up one finger and said, “Let me talk to Buck alone for one moment.” You nodded and he walked Bucky out to the hallway and shut your door. You heard whispers being exchanged and was a little confused but whatever, you thought. You were sure he’s just giving Bucky encouragement. 

You went over and sat down on your grey seat and picked up your chamomile tea. That was probably your favorite part of being a therapist, getting to sit down in comfy chairs all day with your tea. Besides helping people of course.

The door opened once again, with Bucky and Steve reappearing. “Thanks for doing this again, Dr. Y/L/N! Bucky will love you.” Steve said, patting Bucky on the back. You smiled and he exited, leaving only a nervous-looking Bucky standing there.

“Why don’t you come over and sit on the comfortable couch across from me, Bucky?” You motion, pointing over to the couch across from your current chair. He nods and goes to the couch. Well, at least he looks a bit more comfortable, you think to yourself.

“So, what do you want to talk about? Anything is on the table.” You say. You’ve found that not going straight to the tough topics help patients build their trust with you more.

“Well, doll, how about you tell me about yourself first.” He says, getting a bit more confident now. Doll? That’s an odd name to call your therapist. But whatever, you’re sure they used it a lot in the old days. Letting it slide, you try to answer his question.

“Well, I was born and raised here in New York City. I got my PhD. in psychology from NYU and I have an apartment in Brooklyn. I got this job after only one session with Tony Stark and now I am the therapist for the Avengers.” Sure, it was a lot of work, but you absolutely loved your job. Helping the heroes who risk their life to save yours and everyone else’s was the least you could do, you thought.

Bucky nodded and said, “I’m from Brooklyn. Looks much different now than it did when I lived there though. A PhD.? Damn doll, you must be super smart.”

You smiled at his compliment. “Thank you. It wasn’t easy, but it was definitely worth all the late nights studying.”

“So, anything else you want to know about me before we get started?” You asked, getting your notebook to prepare to write notes about Bucky and how to best help him. 

“Get started? Damn, doll. I was thinking we could grab a coffee before we ‘get started.’ But it’s good with me, I guess the girls roll a little different in this time than the 40′s.” Bucky says, chuckling to himself.

You were in the middle of getting to the correct page in the notebook but paused when you heard what he said. What did he think you meant when you said ‘get started’? It sounded very different from your meaning. And getting coffee? It almost sounded like he thought this was a date? You shook your head at that thought. No way could he possibly be that confused. And Steve said he thought you were cute, but you seriously doubted that the Bucky Barnes would even consider going on a date with you. So no, it definitely couldn’t be that. But whatever he thought this was, there was obviously a miscommunication that you had to clear up.

“Uh, Bucky? I think you must be confused. Steve told me that he convinced you to have a therapy session with me this afternoon. What did you think this was?” You ask, a little scared of the answer. 

At hearing this, Bucky seemed very confused. “What do you mean, Steve told me that we were meeting here before going out on our date?”

Now it’s your turn to be confused. What does he mean by ‘our date’? 

“Uh, Steve never said to me that we were going on a date. He told me that he convinced you to have a therapy session with me...” You said, shaking your head in confusion. This made no sense, what was going on?

Apparently that was the conclusion Bucky just got to as well,  because he looked up, a little embarrassed and said, “I’m so sorry. Steve told me that you wanted to go on a date with me and that we were going to meet in your office before going out. I never would have agreed to this if I knew what he was really doing. I’m just going to leave, I’m so sorry for wasting your time.” Bucky raced his hand through his long hair and stood up, walking to the door.

At first, you were a little stunned. The Steve you knew, the world knew, would never pull a trick on anyone, especially his best friend. You knew him enough through your sessions to know that he would only do this if he absolutely had to. Which means he must be desperate for his friend to get the mental help he needed. Also, Bucky was just so damn cute and you have had the biggest crush on him ever since you went to the Captain America exhibit in the local museum for a school trip. You always saw him in the pictures with Steve, his heart-stopping smile still doing wonders on you despite the worn black and white photo.

So, you jumped up right when his hand touched the door handle to leave and probably never see you again. “W-Wait!” You said, hating your stutter but just cringed and kept going when you saw him turn around curiously. “While you’re here you might as well just talk to me. If you hate it, you never have to see me again and can just ignore me in the halls. But, if this session does help you, maybe we can schedule a bit more and see where it goes. I really think I can help you, Bucky.” After you finish your awkward speech, you just smiled and waited for his definite and irreversible no. Well, at least you got the chance to help him, you thought. 

He just sighed and shrugged saying, “Well, I’m already here I guess. But are you sure this could end at any time and that you even want to help me after my dumb friend tricked me into embarrassing myself?” 

You smiled and that last part and smiled, just grateful for the opportunity to help someone so burdened and has done so much for the world. 

Bucky walked back over the his chair and said, “So, Doc, how do we start this?”

You grabbed your notebook again and turned to the right page again. “This is your session, it can start with however you want. But it might help to start from the beginning. How did you feel when you got drafted into a World War when you were only 18?”

He looked deep in thought and said, “Wow, no one ever asked me that.” He sighed before adding, “Of course it was my duty to fight and all that, but I was angry at the world for forcing kids who just barely turned adults to fight their wars for them. I knew it was going to be an adventure, but honestly I was scared shitless, doll.”

You nod, your empathy for him skyrocketing even though you guys just started.

And that’s how your bi-weekly sessions with Bucky would usually go. You guys talked about a whole manner of things, like his past in the 1940′s, his brainwashing with HYDRA, Steve saving him, and his nightmares from everything included. You two were closer than you normally let yourself get to patients. You didn’t know if it was because of everything he had gone through, or maybe even that you finally got to talk and help the Avenger who needed you most, but you honestly didn’t care. Your sessions with him really seemed to help him and now he hasn’t had a nightmare in over 2 months. Bucky seemed a lot happier and waved and talked to you in the halls. Steve even said that he hasn’t seen Bucky like this since the 40′s. You thought that with all things considered, he had a ton of improvement. You two had only been meeting for about 6 months and his progress was truly great;

You tried to forget that in your first meeting he thought you were going on a date and even apparently called you pretty. You knew that nothing romantic should ever come out of your patient and therapist relationship since it was obviously wrong. Every therapist knew that under no circumstances should you date your patient. It would always hurt the patient’s mental health even more and that was the opposite of your job. You suppose it could technically happen if you stopped being his personal therapist but it wouldn’t be worth it. All of his hard work would have been for nothing. 

But you couldn’t help but think what if? What if it ended up working out? What if he got another therapist and you could date him? What if he was the one? But no, you were getting ahead of yourself, you thought. Bucky was great and handsome and so, so perfect. He was honestly everything you wanted in a partner. And still, you couldn’t take the leap. If it didn’t work out and you were possibly the reason his mental health got worse you could never forgive yourself. So every appointment with him you just smiled and tried to ignore that pressing need, even though you were beating yourself up for either being a coward or for being so selfish that you wanted to take that chance.

One day you were in the middle of researching new ways to help a client’s recent mental health issue and trying to (and failing) ignore a certain issue when Bucky walked in with a bouquet of your favorite flowers and a nervous look on his face. You stood up, very confused but nonetheless making yourself known. 

“Uh, Y/N? Could I maybe talk to you for a minute?” He asked. You’ve never seen him dressed so well. Normally he just wore either workout clothes or sweatpants. You two even often joked together that he owned no normal clothes. 

“Yeah of course. I’m sorry I didn’t know we had a session today.” You said, cursing yourself for making such a mistake. Usually you were pretty good with schedules, even though working with the entire compound was a bit much to remember. 

“Oh, we don’t. I just wanted to ask you a question.” Bucky said, biting his lip. A nervous tick that you soon discovered in one of your early sessions together.

“Sure, ask away.” You replied. You were getting a little worried. Surely he didn’t want to end your appointments together, right? Did you do something wrong?

“First of all, these are for you.” He said nervously as he handed you the flowers. You smiled, surprised that he remembered you telling him your that your favorite was y/f/f while complaining that the local florist didn’t have them during one of your bi-weekly meetings. “Thank you, these are absolutely beautiful. I love them.” You smiled and walked over to a window ledge with a vase on it and put them in, admiring how they looked in the sunlight.

When you were finished admiring them you walked back over to Bucky. “Thank you again, they really are beautiful. I don’t even remember the last time someone was so nice and got flowers for me.” You said and hugged him. You knew he wasn’t that great with personal touch but surprised you when he hugged you back pretty quickly. For a moment you just focused on being in his arms but then soon thought of how inappropriate it would look to an outsider and reluctantly pulled away. 

“So, what did you want to ask? Is everything okay?” You ask, quickly remembering that something could be wrong with him.

“Yeah, of course everything is fine. You truly are a great therapist, Y/N. You’ve got a gift.” Bucky said. You blushed at his words and hated that your color would give away your inappropriate feelings possibly. His words did calm you down though. But if it wasn’t about therapy, then what else could it be about?

Feeling your blush go down finally, you nodded and urged him to go on, now too curious to wait it felt like.

He sighed and nervously ran his hand through his hair. “You have to promise me that if this goes wrong, our relationship won’t be ruined. It’s too important for me to ruin by being an idiot.” You immediately promised. Normally you would be cautious about such a thing but you have never trusted anyone this quickly and this much with Bucky.

After he saw your quick agreement, he went on. “So, these past couple weeks, well since we’ve started meeting actually, I was interested in you. I was never going to act on it in a million years but you’ve helped me so much and I think we could really be great together. And Steve might have noticed me staring at you and telling me I should do something about it.” He chuckled. “So, want to go on a real date? I would go the whole 9 yards, nice restaurant and everything. But I don’t want to pressure you into anything you don’t want to do and know that our relationship isn’t necessarily the easiest to become romantic. I just think you're worth it, doll. You're worth all of it.” He stopped and bit his lip again, waiting for your response.

Your heart soared when you heard his speech. No one had every made you feel this way. You were about to say yes, so close in fact, but then you remembered the real truth. You are his therapist, his doctor, his advocate. That was special and meant something to you. You knew he wanted this but it was your responsibility to make the hard choice, to do what you honestly hated to do but thought was right.

“No, Buck. I’m sorry but I can’t. I just think it could ruin all your hard work and that’s the last thing that I want to do. It just shouldn’t be risked.” You said. Telling him that felt like vomit was coming up and you felt even worse when you saw him look dejected and lose his smile so quickly because of you.

You moved your arm to touch his and try to support him the best you could within your boundaries but he saw you trying to do it and moved before you could touch him. And that really hurt. 

You opened your mouth to try and say that you wanted to say yes, that it wasn’t him and just your job but he put up his hand to stop you and said,”No, I shouldn't have asked, I’m sorry.” before walking out.

After the door shut you just closed your mouth in surprise of how this could all go so wrong before falling on the ground and just sobbing. You were hyperventilating soon and snot was going everywhere but you just didn’t care. You were the therapist, the one who knew all the mental health tips and tricks but you were too broken to think logically and it felt good to just let yourself cry.

This stayed the same for two straight weeks. Bucky rescheduled every meeting and put himself into more missions, especially the more dangerous ones. You would cry yourself to sleep nearly every night and by the morning, your eyes were really puffy and swollen from the night before. Everyone in the tower knew something was going wrong and you could feel their stares of sympathy and worry. You felt terrible but what felt even worse was that you weren’t even speaking with Bucky anymore. And as bad as you felt, you couldn’t help but be even more worried for him. You were prepared to just wallow in your own self-pity and cry for the nth time when Steve knocked on the door and walked in when you were in your office, just drinking chamomile tea and looking at the flowers Bucky got you.

“Hey Doc, how’s it going?” He asked, sitting down and looking worried. You just looked up at him and decided to finally cut the shit and get right to what you were worried about. “Steve, how’s Bucky? And tell me the truth, I’ll find out eventually.” Steve sighed and said, “Honestly he’s not doing great. He looks like crap and is throws himself into missions. Bucky also keeps taking stupid risks that could leave him wounded or even worse. We’ve all spoken with him and he just ignores it. I think the only thing that would really fix him is talking with you. he’s never been like this before, I just don’t know what to do.”

You knew that he would probably tell you the last part, that he feels out of control. Control issues was what you most talked about with Steve during your sessions. Not that you could blame him, you would definitely have them too after everything he has gone through. But that could be discussed in your future sessions with him. Right now, you just wished everything was back to normal.

You nodded sadly, even more worried for him now. But Steve talking to you changed something. You needed to talk to Bucky. And right now. Your fear of rejection was high and you knew there was a fairly high chance that he was too hurt to trust you and that he would probably say no but you didn’t care. Even if he rejected you, you didn’t care. As long as he would be better and your relationship went back to normal, you could live with it. Even if it would take a long time to get better after this, he would be worth it.

So you just looked up, your mind set on what you had to do. “Where is he? I need to find him right now.”

Steve looked up surprised and said, “Uh, in his room I think. He just signed up for another hard mission and we asked him not to but he insisted. He’s probably getting ready since he will have to leave soon.”

After hearing this, you jumped up frantically while yelling “Thank you so much Steve!” as you ran out, not even caring to stop the door from slamming. 

Now, even though you worked in a tower full of superheroes, you were only the therapist and still haven’t ran in a while. So you ran and ignored all the stares of the workers and Avengers. When you finally got there, you were out of breath and breathing hard. But still, you worked through your mini heart attack and knock on the door, still frantic.

You heard some rustling behind the door and a few mumbled curse words when he began saying loudly, “Steve, I’m fine. I’m going on that mission whether you think I should or no-” Bucky opened the door and once he saw you, a probably sweaty, red, and gross you, finished with a confused “-not?”

You put up one finger to signal for him to give you a moment to catch your breath. After that, you joked, “Guess I need to workout more.”

“No, I think you look great. Uh, n-not that my opinion matters or anything. If you think you need to work out then that’s what you should do.” He said, nervously stuttering but nodding at his final sentence like by catching it he saved himself from saying something wrong.

He cleared his throat before continuing. “So, how can I help you? I do have to leave on a mission soon though.”

It broke your heart how formally he was speaking, almost like you were complete strangers.

Maybe you should go, you thought. But no, you had to. Bucky was worth the embarrassment you could possibly face, whether you two were going to date or not. Forcing yourself to remember that, you steeled yourself and said, “I’m sorry Bucky, about everything I said. That date sounded amazing, it really did. I wanted to go and I still do. I was just worried about how inappropriate it would be for a therapist to date their patient. I didn’t want your mental health to backtrack and I honestly thought that I was doing the right thing. But I miss you, Buck. I miss you terribly. And you're worth all of the risks to me, you outweigh them all. So please don’t go on that mission, let someone else take the dumb risks. From what I’ve heard you have taken enough for a while. Please, just stay with me and we can talk?” You looked up at him pleadingly and saw him pull out his phone before shutting the door in your face.

That shut door hurt you, but you were prepared for it and sighed. It was too good to be true, you guessed. The fairytale ending, the white picket fence, the handsome husband. You turned around, prepared to walk away with the  thought of going back to your apartment and drowning your sorrows in chamomile tea and tissues when you heard the door open behind you and felt a hand grab yours to turn you around.

And there was Bucky, smiling like an absolute idiot. And at first you thought that he was making fun of you, but even then you still thought he looked handsome with that smile. “Sam’s in. He’ll take the mission for me.” He said.

“What?” was all you could muster. You had no idea what he was talking about it sounded almost like... That’s when you heard Sam on speaker phone, “Yep, that’s right sweetheart. I’m gonna do the dumb mission. Kiss Bucky real good for me, sucks I can’t be there to do it myself.” Then you heard Sam make a bunch of kissy noises and that’s when Bucky said, “Enough of him.” And ended the call. Then he grabbed your hand once more and shut the door behind you. He backed you against his door with him so close to you that your chest was touching his. 

You were still in shock of your luck when Bucky leaned in and kissed you. You were a little shocked but soon kissed him back, and hard. It was like you were underwater and he was the oxygen. The kiss soon turned rougher and you did not mind at all.

A couple hours later you were both laying on the bed, snuggling and watching a dumb movie that both of you weren’t even paying attention to. You were both just too wrapped up in each other’s presence. “Hey, I think you got some of that exercise you mentioned needing. Maybe we could even do some more if you want.” Bucky said, looking down at you and laughing. 

You hit him lightly but couldn’t help from laughing hard as well. Only hours ago you thought that you wouldn’t get anything with Bucky. No happy ending, white picket fence, and with Bucky, the whole package. But no, you got much more than that. So much more.

#bucky x y/n #bucky #bucky barnes #x reader #bucky x reader #bucky barnes x reader #james buchanan barnes #marvel #mcc fanfic #mcu #firstfic #love

[cacoetheswriting]

fluff alphabet - spencer reid

A = Attractive (what do they find attractive about the other?)

It would be safe to say you’re strangerly attracted to his genius. Many people find it annoying, how he spits facts completely unwarranted, but not you. His vast knowledge of quite literally anything is what sparked your interest in the young doctor in the first place.

Spencer on the other hand is captivated by your smile. The kindness behind it; how truly genuine it always is. He especially likes when he is the reason that smile spreads across your face, from cheek to cheek, illuminating your perfect features.

B = Baby (do they want a family? why/why not?)

Definitely yes, and you know Spencer would make a great dad. He has a way with kids and it comes to him so naturally. Frankly you can’t wait for the day you get to tell him you’re expecting.

C = Cuddle (how do they cuddle?)

One arm wrapped securely around you, pulling you in as close to him as possible. Your head resting on his shoulder landing just below his chin. He smells your hair taking in the scent of your shampoo before placing a soft kiss on the top of your head. 

D = Dates (what are dates with them like?)

He likes to take you out to the movies where you share popcorn and a large soda. A lot of coffee dates where he enlightens you on books he read or reread and you fill him in on the latest pop culture gossip. Nothing too adventurous but never boring.

E = Everything (“you are my ____” (e.g my life, my world…))

“You’re my home.” Spencer whispered, his hands cupping your face. You blinked a couple of times registering what he just said but before you got a chance to respond he continued. “When I’m with you, I feel so comfortable and at peace. I can truly be myself around you, no judgement or scrutiny.” He took a soft breath. “When I’m with you I feel at home and that doesn't make much sense to me but you’ve told me before that not everything has to make sense. Especially when it comes to love.”

F = Feelings (when did they know they were falling in love?)

One evening at a bar with your friends you repeated a fact to the group that Spencer had told you earlier in the week. It caught him off guard because no-one really listens to the rambles that come out of his mouth. Yet here you were, the biggest smile on your face as you reiterated: “chewing gum boosts concentration.”. You glanced at the young doctor from across the table. His eyes lit up as they locked with yours. That’s when he knew. 

G = Gentle (are they gentle? If so, how?)

Spencer is one of the gentlest souls you have ever met. He has an incredibly pure and kind heart. He always puts you first and would never dare to do anything that could hurt you. Your happiness is his priority and even though he’s not the most physical person he always does everything in his power to make you see how loved you are. 

H = Hand/Hold (how do they like to hold? how do they like to hold hands?)

For many reasons he isn't the biggest fan of public displays of affection. But when he does hold your hand, he traces down your fingers gently with his own before intertwining them. He’d then lift your hand to his lips and place a soft kiss on your knuckle.

I = Impression (first impression/s)

At first Spencer found you quite hard to read. He’s usually not good at social cues or interactions therefore it took him longer than the rest of the team to really get to know you. 

You on the other hand were instantly mesmerised by the young doctor. The wealth of knowledge he possessed was captivating and in a way inspiring.

J = Joker (are they into pulling pranks?)

Definitely; Spencer loves a good practical joke. He also has quite a good sense of humour. Not everyone always understands his jokes but they never fail to make you giggle.

K = Kisses (how do they kiss?)

When Spencer kisses you he does so with all his might. Unlike his usual gentle demeanour, when he kisses you it’s always with immense passion. He cups your face with his hands and pulls you in as close as humanly possible. 

L = Love (who says I love you first?)

You do - however completely by accident. “Did you know nutmeg can be fatally poisonous?” Spencer asked as the barista handed you a brown paper bag with a pumpkin dessert bar inside. “A little dash of nutmeg in a pumpkin pie or on your eggnog gives it extra flavour Spencer.” You noted flashing him a smile. “Too much nutmeg, however, can be toxic. Two to three teaspoons of raw nutmeg can induce hallucinations, convulsions, pain, nausea, and paranoia that can last for several days.” He stated. You couldn't help but laugh. “I love you Spencer but I’m not going to die because of a sweet indulgence.” It took you a second to register what you just said. Your free hand travelled to your mouth covering it with a soft gasp. “Shit Spencer, I didn-” “You love me?” He interrupted. All you could do was nod in response. 

M = Memory (their favourite moment together)

After a particularly hard case Spencer drives you home, like he has done so many times before. He walks you to the door of your apartment and waits until you are safely inside. He places a soft kiss on your forehead and says goodnight - which is when you ask him to come inside, stay the night. Rather than going to sleep however you stay up baking what turned out to be the worst brownies either of you have ever tasted. 

N = Nickel (do they spoil? do they buy the person they love everything?)

Spencer is not an overly material person. He prefers to shower you with words of affirmation and subtle compliments. Although when he does give you a gift it is always extremely thoughtful and definitely something that means a lot to the two of you.

O = Orange (what colour reminds them of their other half?)

If he had to associate a colour with you it would be yellow. Yellow - the colour of optimism. The colour of sunshine and enthusiasm. It stimulates the left side of the brain, helping with clear thinking and quick decision making. 

P = Pet names (what pet names do they use?)

He shortened your name. It was unintentional when it first happened but you liked the way it sounded so it stuck. You on the other hand, if you’re not using his first name, usually call him ‘honey’ or ‘sugar’ which he used to hate. If you’re feeling giddy you’ll call him by the original nickname you came up before you were dating: ‘suspence’.

Q = Questions (what are the questions they’re always asking?)

“Are you okay?” - you are his priority therefore he likes to make sure nothing is ever wrong. “Do you need anything?” “How are you feeling?” 

R = Rainy Day (what do they like to do on a rainy day?)

When the weather outside is far from ideal and the two of you are not out working a case, Spencer likes to curl up on the couch with you. He’ll put on an old back and white movie as you provide the drinks.  

S = Sad (how do they cheer themselves/each other up)

If he’s feeling sad you find yourself reaching for a random book on his shelf and reading the first few chapters aloud. His head rests in your lap, eyes closed, as he listens to the sweet sound of your voice. 

If you’re feeling down, Spencer will draw you a bath. He’ll light a couple of candles and dot them around the bathroom. He’ll play relaxing music through the speaker of his phone as the two of you enjoy the warm water together. 

T = Talking (what do they love to talk about?)

The short answer, everything. You never run out of topics to discuss and the conversation flow is always pleasantly smooth. 

U = Unencumbered (what helps them relax?)

Quite simply you. No-one knows Spencer the way you do and even though the two of you haven't been together for very long you know exactly what to say or do to calm him down.

V = Vaunt (what do they like to show off? What are they proud of?)

Spencer is modest which is one of the things you admire about him. The one thing he truly shows off is his knowledge of pretty much everything - even if he does it unintentionally. 

W = Wedding (when, how, where do they propose?)

“Almost fifty percent of all marriages in the United States end in divorce or separation.” Spencer said turning off the documentary you just finished watching. “Researchers estimate that forty-one percent of all first marriages end in divorce.” He continued. “Well, lets hope when we get married we’ll be in the lucky fifty-nine percent that lasts.” You teased, a small smile circling your lips.

X = Xylophone (what’s their song?)

Let’s Groove by Earth, Wind & Fire. The song was queued by Penelope at one of Rossi’s famous get togethers - before you and Spencer were dating. She swayed and twirled, soon joined by Morgan, as the rest of the group watched and laughed. You glanced at the young doctor and before he got a chance to protest you dragged him into the middle of the room to dance. 

Y = You’re the ___ to my ___ (e.g the cookies to my milk, the macaroni to my cheese)

“You’re the Holmes to my Watson.” He furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. “Why am I not Watson?” “Because you’re not that kind of doctor.” You nudged Spencer playfully. He couldn't help but laugh under his breath. “That is a terrible analogy.” “Terrible or not, it’s true.” 

Z = Zebra (if they wanted a pet, what pet would they get?)

He wouldn't want a pet for now. The job is too demanding, he’s away for long periods of time and there'd be no-one to take care of it. Perhaps in the future, when you’re married and have kids. Perhaps. 

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