#absolutely fucked the colours on this one. dont even know what happened

[thoriffix]

yes. yesss

#sickos b like #/j #bowuigi #absolutely fucked the colours on this one. dont even know what happened #i kinda just blacked out and woke up with this on the canvas i feel like ive been under a spell #bowser #luigi #mario movie #super mario bros #super mario bros movie #grays art stuff

[crookedkryptonitebeliever]

Yandere Brother Pt 3

Tw: suffocating unbearable love, violence, general yandere, female reader shenanigans, infantilization, and of course incest. also christmas

minors and ageless blogs dni please <3

click here for part 1 and part 2

Click here for my new oc Yves (PLEASE READ IT I LOVE YVES)

plotholes and emglish errors everywhere and i could not be bothered :100emoji: please dont point it out thanks xoxo

Caught the Covid fuk now i cant leave my bed im so damn sick and pukey all the time, i dont fuckin know where my roommate is but at least they're not here to get infected, feeling like a busted up rustbucket rn

So this was originally written last year, couldnt find what else to write but this christmas time is perfect, so like dont mind the shoehorning of Christmas somewhere in this fic

You're having your summer break and you plan to pick up on a new hobby. Crocheting, perhaps.

Fuck, your brother picked up your search history from his spyware. Now you're left to deal with $1000 worth of wonderful quality crocheting materials and your big brother being your personal crocheting mentor.

This is where it gets frustrating. Yes, if you have the resources, you would enjoy your hobbies more. But, just like... What if you didn't like crocheting in the end? You're stuck with all these.

It happens to every single potential hobby. Stamp collecting? Your big brother will bid to the death for an extremely rare stamp from the 1900. You're not even fucking collecting the stamps, the stamp book already comes arranged with all the stamps ever produced. A collection that would only give a hardcore stamp collector an instant orgasm upon sniffing it.

Nail art? Where the hell should you keep all the acrylic powders, fake nails, drills and drill bits? Not to mention the dizzying numbers of nail polishes, nail brushes, nail stickers and cuticle sticks. Of course, your big brother is going to hire a professional nail artist to make sure you're practicing your hobby safely while he's learning how to do it himself, so he could replace your mentor too. He would become so skilled that he could qualify to open up a 5 star nail salon. But he's not interested unless you are.

Painting? you absolutely do NOT need all of those tubes of paint. The difference in shades for some of them are so small that you mistook it for the same colour. You would have a headache choosing the right type of paper, right type of primer and right type of fixative to use.

Are you having troubles on painting? Let big brother teach you. You would sit on his lap as he guide your hands across the canvas. Don't you think his warm hand enveloping yours feel nice? Doesn't his free hand feels nice sensually rubbing your thigh? Don't you just feel protected in his hold?

Makeup? Same situation with your nail hobby. You're essentially being babied by him and experienced celebrity makeup artists, you would drown in a mountain of eyeshadow palettes, primers, setting sprays, skin care products, anything and everything related to makeup.

Every instrument ever? Big brother would insist lovingly providing all the music lessons you need. He is a musical prodigy after all. If it's something ridiculously obscure like a Glass Armonica or the Theremin, big brother would master it in a couple of weeks, earn a fucking pHD in it and THEN teach you. No instrument is too expensive or hard for him. Your big brother is crossing his fingers HARD for you to have this hobby.

Chess? Oh, he is also a prodigy in it. He could teach you. Your chess pieces would be custom made to your liking, by the way. It would be the perfect density, perfect size, perfect texture for you. He knows what you like and you hate that.

Sports? Take a look at his "achievement room". It's filled to the brim with golden medals and trophies of every sport competition ever. He's not leaving you alone for this one.

Pottery? Welcome to your very own personal pottery studio, furnished with all types of drying racks, ovens, kilns, turntables and equipments you have never heard of. Big brother is always there to supervise you, making sure there won't be any accidents.

Cooking and baking? You get to have an industrial sized kitchen all for yourself. Everything is decorated such that it looks like you would be on television, starring in a cooking show. You don't need to clean anything, or prep anything, or actually do anything, really. There's a team of professional chefs and assistants to do everything for you. They're paid to cheer and clap and celebrate when you pour cake batter into a pan.

Gardening? Well, there's a massive plot of fertile land for you to garden to your heart's content at the house he bought as your 18th birthday gift. If you want a big project, it will be done overnight. You wouldn't hear the gigantic machineries and vehicles tumbling about due to the soundproof walls he installed. No one would be able to hear you both either, doing god-knows-what inside.

Video games? Your big brother personally do not encourage you to pursue this. But... Nonetheless, he would spoil you rotten with all the latest gaming consoles, limited edition merchandises, pre release copies of your favorite game franchises and whatever your gamer heart desires. All at a hefty price of... Daily cuddles and kisses. And you also have to move in with him. And he gets to decide what game you're playing, if he deems it a "bad influence"? It is not staying in his house.

You rather not.

Nothing is fun because the fun parts are already done for you. You don't get to experience the highs and lows of picking up a hobby, you don't get to explore and experiment. You're literally cursed with luxury.

So imagine your boredom, stress and paranoia during summer break. All your friends are spies for your brother, your hobbies aren't even "yours", leaving your house would inevitably lead you to your brother and all digital footprints are heavily scrutinized by him too. No privacy, no autonomy, all monotony.

You juggled three smartphones at once. Throwing one up in the air, catching the other one with your dominant hand, throwing the last to your other hand. Who gives a damn if one, or all of them breaks? It's riddled with spyware and your big brother would buy you every time a new model is released anyways. Which is... A new phone, a month?

You stopped caring where he gets the money. Obviously he has an assload and can afford to wipe his ass with thousand dollar bills regularly.

It's summer break. One last resort to try and spend your time like a regular ol teenager is taking up a part time summer job. There is a wide variety of jobs to choose from with your qualification. Granted, it's minimum wage and mostly customer service.

If you work as a barista, the cafe or juice bar you'll be working at will LOVE the crap out of you.

Your older brother will visit daily and increase their sales tenfold. Of course, he would pick the drinks that you like doing. It's okay if you fucked up, its only your beloved big brother's order, you can add as much sugar, salt, pepper, cyanide as you want. He will never yell at you, never tell you that you made anything wrong or never even die.

The management will suddenly see a surge in daily customer count. Thanks to big brother's networking. And like him, they also will accept anything you make with no complaint... As per his instructions. You could go full on ridiculous and give them a cup of ice drizzled with strawberry scented dish soap and call it Tutti Frutti, they would still pay for it and take it with them. Though, you're not sure if they ever consumed anything from you.

Without fail, your brother would visit you during every break and hand you your meal along with a kiss on the forehead or the cheek. He would bring you out to eat but you would refuse everytime. You also didn't want his company, which made him pout and whine without fail. But it's nice that he would actually back off after the sixth "no".

However, you know that fucker is watching you from a hidden camera somewhere in the nooks and crannies of whatever breakroom you're resting in.

He would engulf you in a big hug when you get off work, telling you how proud he is of you for getting through another workday like a champ. Praising you for all the hard work and excellent performance, making sure to soothe and comfort you if you happen to come across a rude customer earlier in the day.

You try not to think too much about their fate.

You will be fed, bathed and loved after every shift.

Hell, he would even build up a company from scratch just to hire you. Any position you want, barista, manager, cashier, back office work, janitor- you name it, you get the "job" and get paid a pretty penny. All your other coworkers and customers are probably paid actors and actresses to simulate a "real life working experience" safely. He controls it all, making sure you have just the right amount of drama, the right amount of diplomacy and the right amount of gossiping. You're rarely pushed out of your comfort zone, though. Big brother always has your safety and best interests at heart.

Of course, he will never tell you all of this, to keep the immersion going. You're going to feel sad that you're not exactly experiencing reality. But a bastardization of it. Might as well star in a trashy reality TV show instead, at least, it's much more authentic than whatever your big brother has going on for you.

He doesn't need to even tell you though. You would pick it up easily and quickly especially if you already watched the Truman Show. Don't tell him you did, god help you if he ever gets an inkling that you knew about the existence of the Truman Show. He deemed that movie as demonic propaganda and he needs to lecture some sense into you. If you want out, just say that you're 'bored' and want to do something else. Your big brother will gladly drop everything and do anything in his power to help you "achieve" what you want.

But for the sake of "plot" in this latest installment, you agreed to work in a quaint little bubble tea stall. Where you're the only employee, making drinks for whoever is ordering in front of the shop's decorated window.

Of course, your big brother miraculously happens to work in a nearby skyscraper as one does. It's not that you didn't do your research, you were a hundred percent certain he didn't work in that building, because that fucker never goes to work... At least, physically. Perhaps he does his job, whatever that may be, through online means.

You were planning to use your bicycle to get there that you got yourself with "your" money. He never bought you a car or a bike or anything that would get you around, he saw it as something unnecessary. Why would you need it when big brother is available 24/7 to bring you anywhere?

Actually, you could have gotten yourself a car with the allowance he gives you every day for being cute and adorable, and being patient with his incessant kisses and hugs and cuddles and love and touches and his fucking insanity in general.

But you know that he's going to kick up a massive fuss about driving alone. It was hell to even get your license with him actively trying to sabotage you at every exam- which includes him stooping so low to bribe the examiner to fail you. However, you persevered, and you got that stupid license. All the while, he was lamenting about how you're going to leave him all alone, how you don't need big brother anymore, how society pressured you to grow up too fast and recklessly drive off wherever.

You knew better than to fall for that. Or even entertain it either. Eventually, he gave up trying to guilt trip you into crying, apologizing to him and sobbing in his arms, promising that you won't leave him.

It's not like he DIDN'T kick up a fuss when you said you're using a bicycle either. He began freaking out about your safety, fearing that you might get run over.

Well. You admitted defeat. He's driving you to fucking work and back. It's not worth it to fight this battle.

So you began working in the stall. You had someone train you for your first 2 weeks. Then you were on your own.

The owner, who is also the person who showed you the ropes around there, said business isn't good, but it isn't bad either. So you didn't need to worry about rush hour where hoards of thirsty, sleep deprived office workers trample over each other to get their daily boba fix. It's pretty peaceful working there.

But what you do need to worry about, is your fucking big brother.

He would come and buy a drink, whichever you like to make. It can be the most expensive one, or the cheapest one, the most elaborate one or the simplest one. It's up to you, he will pay for it and happily drink what you made.

You could make him pay for the most expensive drink there is but serve him a cup of lukewarm water, and he would still drink it with glee and fork over his money, telling you to keep the change (which is usually a hundred bucks extra).

Let's say you want to be decent and make him drink that you know he would actually like. Which is anything that tastes generally fruity. And insist that you like making it even though it actually sucks.

He knows. He can tell that you're specially making his favourite drink. And that makes him happy and more obsessed with you if that's even possible at this point.

He would leave a massive tip and a kiss on your forehead.

Although your brother is fucking gross and weird like that, you still love him. Probably a bad idea but you're working so hard, trying your best to earn money honestly just to get him a Christmas gift.

Despite the restraining order between your parents and him, your brother is still invited back home each year to be jolly together. Preparations start a few days before Christmas, where you would see an unusual sight.

All of your immediate family members in the same room, or at least in the same house together without fighting to the death. Your dad's bones are intact, your mom didn't have her insecurities jabbed on for once. They're not exactly on speaking terms, per se.

You woke up one morning to see an... appropriate sized tree for your parent's house, erected in the middle of the living room. Adorned with beautiful ornaments and... are those pictures of you on the ornaments?

Wrapped presents were patiently sitting under the tree. There was a small box with your father's name on its tag, another small one with your mother's name on it. A decent sized box was addressed to your brother, must be a combined present from your parents.

Your shoulders sagged in defeat when you saw your presents took up the perimeter of the tree and even conquered the couch, the back of the couch and under the coffee table. You lost count after gift box #27.

Since everyone is in the kitchen, you quickly place the presents you got for your parents... and your brother.

You panned to the fireplace. Your Christmas stocking is filled so much to the brim that your brother must have added 5 more next to your original one. Your parents' and your brother's stockings are relatively empty. You stuffed them with candies and nuts to make them look less embarrassing.

You straightened your back, that should do it. Your ears perked up when you heard some clamoring in the kitchen. It must be your brother.

You let out a surprised yelp when you're yanked back by a pair of arms that snuck around your waist. "Merry Christmas, my little wittle precious baby!" You squeezed your eyes shut and scrunched your face as he attacked you with a barrage of kisses.

He giggled and squealed as he held you in his arms and twirled you around in glee. You let out a scream of horror as your feet dangle off the ground. He does this every Christmas morning when you were a child to wake you up further and get you excited for the holiday. But you're not a kid anymore, and this is horrifying.

Finally, he stopped and put you down. Your hair is frazzled and the world around you is gyrating. He squeezed you in another hug and gently rocked you side to side.

He immediately unlatched when you said you're hungry. Your big brother gleefully lead you to the dining table, where he fixes up a napkin around your neck like a bib. You asked him why is he tying a ribbon on your hair, he said that you are his Christmas present and he is spoiling himself this year.

Before you could respond, he gave you a brief peck on the head before frolicking away into the kitchen.

Your parents came out of the kitchen, greeting you. They're holding a tray full of steaming hot breakfast foods, no doubt your brother forced them to make it for you. Every Christmas generated a metric ton of leftovers. It's because your brother wanted you to try all of the foods from all over the world. But don't worry though, the leftovers could be so intact that it was given out to neighbors and friends and extended families. Some didn't even need to cook after that, the sheer amount of leftovers was enough to fuel ten more Christmas gatherings.

Croissants, quiches, various types of bread, eggs, ham, bacon even panettone made from scratch. Looking at the spread in front of you is dizzying, your big brother sets down the last plate right between your hands. It's a breakfast plate your brother customized to fit your usual preference, everything is shaped into a heart. He patted your head as he took a seat next to you.

Everyone ate in silence. Everyone was focusing on their own meal except... your brother. Who else would rather stare at you adoringly instead?

He asked if you wanted to go make snowmen outside. Not without proper winter protection, that is. You shrugged, it's not like you could escape your family anyway. Your friends are all busy with their own families, and you don't even have friends. Everything is closed and if you lock yourself in your room, your brother will just pick the fucking lock and force his way in.

Your parents tried making small talk, this earned a feral glare from your brother because it interrupted the connection between the both of you. They paid him no mind and began asking about your life. You tiredly replied to their questions and asked some back yourself, to try to find any sense of normalcy. Your brother would be disengaged with the words coming out of your parents mouth, but highly interested in what you had to say.

The rest of the morning went by uneventfully. You offered to help clear the table and do the dishes. Your brother just 'aww'd at you and gave you an appreciative kiss on your forehead. That wasn't an explicit yes, he appreciated the gesture, but he wouldn't allow you to dirty your hands doing chores.

He told you to wait for him to clean up. In the mean time, he gave you permission to open some of the gifts he got you. Frankly, you don't even want to deal with it at all, it's just too much crap. You decided to go through the stockings instead and grab some snacks for yourself.

As expected, he filled it with the most expensive treats and the freshest oranges. These types of foods are usually served in a formal setting, like eating gold crusted caviar at a 10 star restaurant, all dressed up in fancy clothes. But he just... shoved it in a Christmas stocking as if they're mundane chocolates.

Whatever, you shoved some into your pockets.

You turned around to see your brother smiling lovingly at you. He wrapped a puffer jacket around you, his scarf with his cologne on it, a pair of thick mittens on your hands , a winter hat snuggly fitted to your head, and a pair of thick pants he made you wear in front of him.

He picked one of your numerous christmas presents and handed it to you. He clasped his hands together expectedly as he watches you.

Your brother urged you to open it, go wild. Rip the wrapping to shreds. You felt so bad seeing how well wrapped it is and the quality of the wrapping paper is... indescribably good. It doesn't even feel like paper, it feels like silk.

So your carefully dismantled it, trying not to tear anything. You look up to see that your brother is pointing his camera at you, capturing this very precious moment. He encouraged you to go on.

You managed to remove the packaging and revealed a box of expensive winter boots. These are high quality and you would have been the source of envy even though most of your "friends" are also from wealthy families. Not everyone gets to have these.

You appreciate it but... You already had a pair of winter boots, the ones from last year, and the year before that. And the year before that, and a week ago where your brother is freaking out about you potentially having frostbite on your toes.

"It's the latest model! It was released as a part of a Christmas special, it will keep you warm and protect your feet too. It was selling out fast, I'm so glad I managed to get a pair for you, I can't have my sweetiepie sad on Christmas day!" Gushed your brother. You slipped them on.

You can't tell the difference between the one you had last year and the one on your feet now. Maybe some minor difference in it's stylistic design but... they're equally as comfortable.

You thanked your brother and finally gave him what he actually wanted from all this: a hug. He put away his phone and returned the embrace, sinking so deep into your jacket that neither of you can move without stumbling. You know he expected you to show gratitude for all his gifts through his main love language; touch.

It is exhausting.

After that, he brought you out to his private plot of land which he made into a park, complete with swingsets, monkey bars and slides. But these aren't for the public, it's for you. All the equipment are well maintained and look brand new even though you know it's been there for years.

He's not fond of throwing snowballs because it could hurt you. But he allows you to throw as much as you want at him. Even after the stunt you pulled last year.

You packed snow around a rock and hurled at him with all your might, it went straight to his head and his right eye was busted for months. Your brother didn't see that as something wrong, though. Even if you tried to apologize, he said that it was an accident and it was alright, he still loves you dearly and you did 'nothing wrong'. The first thing he did after recovering from his injuries at the hospital is to take you out for hot chocolate and then give you a backrub back home because winter could make your muscles stiff; and hence you must feel strained and sore.

He was still mildly bleeding from his gauze at the time, it was covering at least 70% of his upper head. Your brother was clueless when you asked if he needs any painkiller for his recent injury. He claimed to not feel the pain, but his wincing tells you otherwise. He rewarded you for your concern nonetheless with hugs and kisses and another massage.

You laid yourself on the snowy ground and started making snow angels. Your brother had his camera out and began capturing every moment he has with you.

You felt uncomfortable. And the cold is nipping at your bones even though you're thoroughly insulated by the sophisticated winter gear your brother made you wear. You're ready to go home now.

It shocked your brother and made him a bit desperate. He stammered and stumbled over his words, asking you if you wanted to play on the swing, build a snow man, play on the slides, the merry go around and... throw snowballs at him. Are you cold? He was in the middle of removing his own jacket to layer it onto you, but you stopped him.

You said you're tired. You don't find this fun and you're too old for this.

Maybe you're thirsty? He packed a flask filed with steaming hot chocolate for you- no? You're not thirsty or hungry? Maybe you wanted to use the bathroom-- no? You don't have to go?

He tried listing out all the possible reasons you wanted to go home and all its' solutions. Desperately wanting you to stop growing up so fast.

You got sick and tired of this, you yelled at him at the top of your lungs that you wanted to go home. You then stormed away towards the car, leaving your brother to stand there in silence, his camera capturing your explosive outburst.

Your brother saw you slamming the door angrily as you got in.

He sighed, gulping and hovering his finger over the delete button. But he ultimately decided against erasing the footage, it's still a video of you after all. Your brother assured that he's coming to the car, he wipes a stray tear away as he heads to his vehicle.

The both of you stayed silent as he drove you home.

Once you arrived, you bolted out of the car and ran back in. Locking yourself in the bedroom and barricading the door with random furniture. Hugging your knees close to your chest as you pray that your brother does not go after you by climbing into your windows.

And... he didn't. He left you alone for once. For a few hours too. It gave you the much needed relief, you felt like you could breathe now.

You're starting to feel a bit hungry. And you're hungry enough to be willing to face your older brother. So you began unbarricading, placing your dressers to it's original place.

You carefully unlocked the door, fully expecting him to be waiting outside for you. To your surprise, no one was in the hallway. You could hear some noises downstairs, in the kitchen.

You cautiously went down, the tree is still intact. Nothing is broken and there doesn't seem to be signs of a fight. You released a breath that you didn't know that you were holding, happy to know that you don't need to spend another Christmas at the hospital visiting your badly battered parents.

You whipped your head to the sound of your brother calling your name softly. He's holding a baking tray and a bowl, you can't tell what is in there because he's too tall. He smiled at you as he set it down on the dining table. The tray contained freshly baked parts of a gingerbread house and the bowl contained vanilla frosting.

You scanned the rest of the table. There are numerous small glass bowls containing different types of candy and snacks; from pretzel sticks to colourful chocolate rocks, to real gold leaves. Piping bags with metal tips are present too next to a box of plastic gloves.

Your brother pulled your chair out and invited you to sit there. You did, and he called you a good girl. His good girl. As you put on a pair of plastic gloves, he kissed you on the temple.

You asked where your parents are. He said that they're preparing the food for dinner, which includes ham and a roast turkey. And 15 other dishes.

You quizzed on, asking if there will be more people coming in. He shook his head: no. It's only the four of you. In the meantime, you should enjoy yourself building this gingerbread house. He puts on his own pair of plastic gloves too and began filling the piping bag with icing.

The two of you worked in peace, you opting to decorate the house while he pipes the details on the gingerbread men.

There is only two, a large one and a smaller one. You can guess which represents who.

You noticed the odd choice of attaching the small one to the large one's torso. With strategic use of the candies and frosting, he made it look like the larger gingerbread man is carrying the smaller one on its hip. He piped your defining features onto the baby gingerbread, and piped his features on the larger one.

He noticed you staring, your brother asked if you had a hard time connecting the pieces with frosting and if you needed his help. You said no, you just need a spatula from the kitchen. He tried to get up from his seat, but you pushed him back down, saying that you can get it yourself. He pouted, telling you to be careful and not touch the knives or stoves. Your brother went back to obsessing over the details on his gingerbread men.

You went inside the kitchen and greeted your parents who are busy cooking. You go through the drawers to find a silicone spatula and decided to help pick up some stray food scraps on the floor, throwing them into the bin. But as soon as you step on the pedal and have the lid swing open, you saw two crushed, but perfectly edible, gingerbread men in the garbage bin.

You returned to the dining table to see that your big brother is proudly presenting his work. He said this represents you and him... as if you already haven't figured it out. He said he dreams of having you live with him in a perfect fantasy house, fantasy world where you never have to grow up. And he will always be there by your side, taking care of you till the end of time. You will be pampered and spoiled rotten, you don't have to do anything, you don't have to lift a finger. Your big brother will do everything for you. He would even breathe for you if he could.

You nodded in acknowledgement, too tired to engage with him. You sat back down, continued with the gingerbread house. You failed to notice the flicker of sadness in his eyes, your brother felt so neglected and unwanted these few years. He wished that you were a kid again so the both of you could play together and be happy. The more he tries to win your favour, the more distant you get from him. He is endlessly chasing and you are running non-stop.

The rest of the afternoon went by uneventfully, other than the fact that your big brother rests his head on your shoulder the whole time.

Now, it's time for dinner. You tried helping them bring out the dishes, your brother praised you for being a darling as usual. He lets you have the first bite of the turkey, tearing a small inconspicuous piece of flesh from the bird and hand feeding it to you. It's still warm, juicy and delicious. Maybe it's the feeling of being special that makes it even tastier.

You chew as you brought out the casserole, setting it down on the table.

You looked at the spread. It looks like a buffet at a high end hotel. So many varieties and extremely nutritious.

Your brother fixed your napkin bib for you again and took food for you. Slumping in your seat, you were thinking of protesting but you knew it's easier to just wait for him to carve the best parts of the turkey for you and let the food pile up neatly on your plate first. He returned it to you, all your favourite dishes are on it within sensible portions. But these are still a lot of food for a person.

He didn't care about praying. Your brother wanted you to eat as soon as possible because you must be hungry. And it is absolute sacrilege to let you go hungry.

You insisted that you join your parents in saying grace and you're not that hungry. Your brother looks uncomfortable, still believing in his sick mind that you're starving to the point of emaciation. But since you are adamant in doing such 'pointless' things In his mind, he agrees, only if he leads it.

Everyone bowed their head down and held each others' hands.

Your brother said the shortest, most insincere, laziest grace ever. Once he fulfilled your requirement, he urged you to eat.

You're upset, you felt really angry and you thought he was mocking you instead. So you opted to eat alone in your room, you made it clear that you didn't want anyone in. Especially not your big brother.

He cried out a desperate plea to get you to stay with him. You ignored him and took a couple more of your favourite finger foods. Predicting a fight between your brother and your parents.

You wrenched your arm away from his powerful grip and fled the scene, hurrying up the flight of stairs. Only slowing down when you're out of sight.

As you thought, sounds of verbal fighting started resonating throughout the house. You heard your brother screaming his head off at your parents for being bad influences and poisoning you to hate him. Your parents defended themselves and this only fuelled the fire. You didn't want to be around when your brother started hurling chairs, so you slammed the door as hard as you could. The sudden loud noise did stop the commotion downstairs briefly. But it continued soon after.

You ate alone, in your barricaded room. Wishing that you're born into a 'normal' family, with 'normal' trauma. To a lot of people, you are complaining about a blessing. But you are always feeling alone, the only person facing a problem which everyone sees as a solution.

You scraped the last bits of food with your spoon. Waiting for the sounds of the ambulance or at least for the fighting to quiet down.

You looked at the clock. It's 1 AM. It's been relatively quiet for a while now, they should be finishing up their fight or cleaning up. Time for you to return your plate.

You grunted as you pushed the furniture away from your door which felt like the umpteenth time. You left your room and head downstairs.

Hearing soft sobs from one person, your brother. He's sitting in front of the tree, hugging the present you left for him earlier. The presents addressed to your parents are both missing, presumably being taken back to their room. A blanket is loosely draped around his shoulders.

You took slow steps, unsure if you should comfort him or not. But before you can even decide to chicken out, he spotted you. However, to your surprise, he didn't approach you or tell you to come forward. He gave you a soft assuring smile, before returning his attention to the tree.

You set your plate aside and went by his side. Your brother watched you with puffy eyes full of love, yet it tells you that he has been irreparably hurt by something... or an accumulation of things.

"Thank you..." He whispered, refering to the gift you gave him. It isn't something particularly valuable to you. It's a picture of the entire family in a photo frame. Your brother is going to cherish it, because it is a gift from the person he loves most in the world. But deep down, he secretly wishes that it was a photo of you and him alone.

He still looks extremely upset and distraught. Almost like he is at the brink of a breakdown. Your brother usually verbalizes what he wanted, but he couldn't this time.

You wonder what your parents got for him. You peeked over his shoulder to see that an unopened box containing a plain T-shirt and a pair of socks is carelessly discarded to the corner of the room.

Then, it clicked. Just like you, he felt alone. Maybe you will never understand why he holds you so dear in his heart. Just like how no one will understand him either, his struggles are unique to him with no one to relate.

He destroyed the relationship between himself and your parents. His friends are all superficial. You're grown up and constantly rejecting his love.

Not a single one of you paid attention to him. Yes, it is hard to think of a present for someone who has everything. But they could have put in a bit more effort, the colour of the shirt and socks aren't even in his favourite colour or in the correct size. You could have removed your parents from the photo, your brother will never remove it himself. Because that would mean defacing your gift for him.

And growing up, your parents never saw him as... a person. As someone with feelings and a personality. They only saw his value as a trophy piece to show off to their friends and family. Same goes to his friends now, if it wasn't for his skills and possessions, he would be nothing to anyone.

He had to beg to be loved. Even that isn't reliable, he could give it his all and everyone around him will expect more. Your brother could never dream of being the receiving end of his own affection. It seems like an impossibility to him.

Perhaps he is doing all of these despite getting nothing but disgust and disdain from you is all to protect your innocence, to not put you through what he had to face. It's just that he went about it the wrong way. Or maybe he is just... wrong in the head. Or maybe he was hoping by loving you so much, you would give him the intense type of love he was yearning for his entire life.

Either way, he is alone.

The both of you are now seated in front of the fireplace. You didn't want to open presents, your brother is okay with that. He did not nag you to do it for once. Snuggling closer, the both of you shared a blanket. He still looks unhappy and crestfallen.

You remember you still had the ribbon bow on your head.

He hovered his arms around you as you squirm in his grip. You managed to crawl into his lap and rest your head on his chest. He lets out a chuckle and some sniffles, clamping his arms back down around you.

You reminded him of one last gift. Your brother is confused until he saw your ribbon.

From that moment on, he burst into tears of joy. He found you so unbearably adorable, so unbearably cute that his heart couldn't take it. An excited squeak escaped his lips as he held you even tighter. Peppering kisses all over your face, neck and head.

He started blabbering in baby talk, calling you every pet name and listing out everything he loved about his 'gift'. Repeating that this is the best gift he ever received and this is all he ever wanted. You are all he ever wanted. Praising that you remembered what he loves.

You hope that he could feel a little less lonely tonight. You can't peer into his head and know exactly what is going on inside. But you knew, he was happy.

Your breathing calmed him down and he closed his eyes, nuzzling against your neck. The collar of your shirt wet from his tears and your arms are secure around him. Your brother mumbled "I love you." as he adjusted you on his lap. Pressing your form against his, enjoying the heat that the both of you shared. Wishing that this moment will never end and you will never part from him.

You realized another thing too as he strokes your hair.

Your older brother is the only person in the world who harbors true, undying, unconditional love for you.

Even though he has his flaws, there will be no one else like him. Ever.

So you closed your eyes and melt into him. Just like before, you felt safe.

The both of you fell alseep in front of the hearth, surrounded by gifts, mostly unopened ones. Snowflakes floating down from the skies and landing delicately at the edge of the roof. Feeling unburdened and content in the living room.

Merry Christmas.

#yandere #yandere x reader #yandere oc #yandere male #tw infantilization #yandere oc x reader #yandere x you #tw yandere #yandere concept #male yandere oc x reader #yandere brother #tw incest

[bbyquokka]

dead roses

𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆 | han jisung x fem reader

𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐑𝐄 | angst, hurt/comfort, smut – 18+ is strongly advised!

𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐓 | you've found out that jisung has been cheating on you.

𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 | cheating, nipple/breast play, thigh fucking, thigh grinding, oral (m+ f rec), 69, love bites, vaginal fingering, protective sex ( p in v ), crying during sex, a lot of angst, hurt with no comfort ( if i missed any, lmk! )

𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃𝐒 | 6.1k ~ ( 6,113 )

m.list — you can also read it on my ao3

dont repost. dont translate. minors, ageless & default blogs; dni! feedback and reblogs are highly advised and appreciated!

it started off small. at first, it was a few late nights at the office. then, he became secretive. he'd hide his phone from you, rush to it and snatch it off you when he had a text. he started to lie to you. “just going to the store. i will be five minutes.” but those minutes turned to hours.

you don't know what's happened to the man you loved. when you and jisung met, he was so sweet, caring and attentive. he made you laugh with his stupid and corny jokes. he knew how to brighten your day when you were feeling low. he knew how to make you feel loved.

the first day of every month, he bought you a single rose until you had twelve, then twenty-four, then twenty-six. those roses are dead. the petals crumble from a gentle touch, the colour drained and rotten and black. the water is dirty and murky yet they still sit on your coffee table as a painful reminder that the love you both shared, is just as dead as those roses.

touch became little to nothing. sex was none existent. jisung has a high sex drive so for him to go months without having sex with you, is strange. he no longer kisses you, hugs you or holds your hand. he can't even look you in the eyes. 

does he hate you? does he no longer want to be with you? do you not please him enough? all these questions and more swim in and out of your mind, day in, day out. you're riddled with anxiety when you watch him walk out the door to work. you're riddled with guilt for questioning the relationship; for questioning his love for you.

it got so bad and so draining that you considered putting a tracker on his phone and spying on him. but you couldn't bring yourself to do something like that – all you had to do was trust him even if your gut was telling you differently.

everything you thought of, every question that was left unanswered and every action of jisung's that was questionable have now all be answered due to the fact that you have found messages from him to another.

you feel sick to your stomach. rage bubbling and rushing through your veins like hot molten lava. your hands tremble and palms sweat as you scroll through his messages. you locked yourself in the bathroom, jisung fast asleep in the bed you both share. 

you know it's a huge breach of trust to go through someone's phone without permission, but you heard him on the phone earlier. you heard him say “i'll be there, baby.” you watched him walk out the door minutes later and return two hours later with a purple bruise on his neck and smelling of another. you saw the guilt in his eyes as you questioned him. 

he's a terrible liar.

you could wake him up there and then, question him about everything. wake him up with the harsh truth that you know everything but you wait. you want at least one more day to be sure, one more day of calmness before the boat rocks and you sink to the bottom. you know the proof is there in your hands, the messages, the naked pictures, the calls and the sexting. it's there but you need and want to be absolutely sure.

jisung is your everything and more. he's your world and he's taught you how to love yourself again. everything you've built together, gone in less than a second. the trust you had for him, shattered. your heart, crumbling like the rose petals.

you've seen enough. you close his phone before making your way back to bed. you place his phone back on the side table before sliding into bed beside him. you lay on your back, staring blankly at the ceiling as tears blur your vision and spill from the corners of your eyes. your heartbeat thumping loudly in your ears, shattering with each tear that trickles down your skin.

a nightmare turned into reality.

you tried to act normal the next day to not raise suspicions. you tried to go about the day as if you didn't know but flashes of the texts shoot across your mind leaving you feeling sick and shackled. the rage building and building until you finally snapped. all it took was for jisung to return home late smelling of them, once again.

“where have you been?” you ask sweetly from your position on the sofa. jisung shrugs as he takes off his shoes.

“with changbin. i thought i told you before. he invited me out for dinner.”

“mhm, maybe you did. must have slipped my mind.” you fake a smile and a chuckle before continuing, jisung walking to you. “how was the meal? where did you eat?”

“it was fine.” he shrugs. “we went to changbin's favourite restaurant.”

you hum and nod as a response. the smell of another strong and tickling your nostrils now that he is much closer to you. you can see his honey skin glistening and his cheeks pink. his lips swollen and kiss bitten. 

“so, restaurant with changbin you say.”

“yes.” jisung laughs. “is that a pro–”

“funny you should say that, ji.” you interrupt him. “because i phoned changbin up and asked about you and he told me that you never showed up. in fact, you never had anything planned with him.”

the colour drains from those round cheeks you adore. his eyes widen in shock as the cogs turn in his head in search of an excuse – a lie.

he laughs, a fake laugh, as he shifts his weight from one foot to the other whilst rubbing the back of his neck. you stand up from your seat, eyebrow raised as you stare him dead in the eyes.

“oh c'mon, maybe he forgot.” he stutters, his voice shaking. you scoff which causes jisung to swallow.

“you're such a bad liar. not only are you using your best friend as an excuse, you can't even tell me the truth!”

“oh, c'mon yn. i'd never lie to you. i have no reason to lie to you!”

“really? because from where i'm standing, ji your body tells me differently. your brow is coated in sweat, your hands are shaky and clammy. your pupils have blown out and you're swallowing a lot as if your throat has gone dry as well as stumbling over your words and stuttering. you're lying to me, jisung.”

“yn, i have nothing to hide. please tell me why would i lie to you when all i have done is be honest and loving to you. devoted myself to you.” you roll your eyes at his words and scoff. you see red and the words come out like vomit.

“i know.” those two words you speak are enough to shake jisung up. fear clouds his mind and hugs his body. his heart thumps against his chest as his jaw clenches and throat tightens with each swallow of his saliva.

“know what?” he whispers. you stare at him.

“i know you've been sleeping with someone else.” 

jisung laughs. a laugh that's forced. a laugh that tries to lighten the situation and make it seem like a joke in hopes that you too, will find it funny and ridiculous of what you're accusing him off.

but it's not funny nor ridiculous. it's true and he knows it. he's been caught.

“i don't know what you're talking about, baby.” 

you roll your eyes and scoff. the anger rises to your cheeks. your body is hot with rage but you remain calm not because you want to but because you need to.

“stop lying to me, jisung. just admit it.”

“how did you know?”

“i went through your phone.” you say with a shrug. 

“you went through my phone?!” his voice increasing a little in volume, eyebrows furrowed together.

“seriously? me doing through your phone is the least of your worries right now jisung. you've been off with me for weeks, months! you don't touch me, don't talk to me. you barely look at me! it's like i disgust you or something! i needed answers because hell i wasn't going to get any off you.”

“i'm sorry. i've just been stressed, tired. i didn't mean to make–”

“how long?”

“excuse me?”

“how long has this been going on for? and don't even think about lying to me again jisung. all i ask of you is the truth. am i not worthy of that?” you voice shakes, nostrils flaring as hot tears blur your vision. jisung's expression softens, guilt spreading across his face. he sighs in defeat, lips pressing together.

“5 months..” he whispers. you nod once, hastily wiping the tears falling down your cheeks.

“why? is it me? do i not satisfy you enough. am i not good enough for you? i thought we had something, jisung..” 

"no! it was never you. i didn't do this out of spite, believe me yn! you're amazing, talented and so beautiful. the first time was a stupid, drunken mistake but–”

“but it felt good.” you finish his sentence with a whisper, your deepest fears coming to light. you and jisung have spent hours talking about your future together. you've spent endless minutes under the sheets together, planning and telling each other your wishes and dreams. he was the man you wanted to spend your life with, your forever after.

you wanted to marry him, have children with him, watch him achieve his goals and dreams. you never thought of him as someone who would cheat and willingly throw everything away – but love is blind they say and you were very blind.

“i thought we had something. the talks we had. our dreams. our future together, gone.” you whisper in disbelief. your heart sinking with each passing second. 

“it's not gone, darling.” he walks to you, his voice sickening sweet and gentle. it makes you believe he is just mocking the situation, mocking you as a person. you take one step back away from him and glare.

“don't you dare touch me after what you've done.”

“baby, please. i never meant to hurt you. i've been stressed and wanted some fun, someone to take my stress out onto. it's not my fault you've been so busy lately.” 

you look at him in disbelief. your eyes widen in shock. your body moves on its own and it isn't until you hear the harsh slap and feel the sting on your palm do you realize what you've just done.

“don't you dare! don't you fucking dare try and pretend to be the victim and spin this on me! i've been here the whole fucking time, waiting and wondering. questioning myself and this fucking scam of a relationship! do you know how many tears i have shed for you?! do you know how many hours i've spent laying awake at night and wondering why?! do you know that i've been filled with a suffocating amount of anxiety that it's caused me to throw up?!”

with his hand on his now red cheek, he looks up at you and swallows. his cheek burns from your slap. “i'm sorry.. i did–”

“didnt mean it? like you didn't mean to stick your cock into someone else for all these months?!”

“i'm sorry yn. what more do you want me to say or do? because if you have any ideas, please tell me and i'll do it.” the tears that roll down jisung's soft cheeks take you by surprise. his usual, life filled eyes now dead and showing nothing but heartbreak. they still shimmer though due to the tears that cascade down his soft cheeks – those cheeks you've missed squeezing and cooing over for hours and hours on end.

those cheeks that you adore because they belong to the man you adore.

“tell me yn, please i beg of you. i'm sorry. i'm sorry for making you feel this way. i'm sorry for doing what i've done. i'm sorry for being selfish and for being a jerk.” he walks towards you with you walking backwards. your heart races as he gets closer and closer to you and soon, your movement ends due to your back hitting the wall.

“ji, please..” you all but whisper. a broken whisper, a pleading whisper. you want all this to end, to turn back time to when things were simpler. to when he was yours and only yours.

you squeeze your eyes shut to avoid looking at jisung but you can smell him. underneath the stench of the other person, you smell his natural scent. the scent you find the utmost comfy in. the scent that calms your mind and grounds you. your security. your safe space.

“i love you yn.” you open your eyes slowly, bottom lip quivering. you allow the tears to freefall down your cheeks as you're now face to face with him. “i love you.”

as he repeats the words, you allow him to reach down and hold your hand. is it your palms that are sweaty or his? either way, his skin is soft and tender. you can feel his hands all over your body. his fingers gently caressing your skin, setting it ablaze.

“i can't..” you shake your head. “this isn't – this isn't fair, jisung.” you sob.

he gives you a sad yet gentle smile as he brushes away your tears. his hand lingers for a split second and you allow yourself a moment of weakness, a moment of submission.

you feel his lips being pressed against yours gently and you allow it. you don't fight him. you don't push him away. you want him and you hate that about yourself.

his lips are so soft, so gentle. they're plump and mold beautifully with yours. he cups both your cheeks as you tilt your head to the side and moves your lips with his in a soft and passionate kiss. tears continue to fall down your cheeks as well as his own as you hold onto his wrists.

you just want him. just one more night of pure bliss. a night of pretending. 

the kiss deepens and turns more passionate. your body aches and burns from his simple touches. you've been touch starved of him for months and his simple touches are making you weak at the knees.

his tongue glides along your bottom lip slowly, asking – begging for permission which you grant but slowly parting your lips for him. you groan softly as his body presses flush against yours, his leg between yours and thigh pressing against your core.

his tongue enters your mouth where he caresses and tastes the inside. soft grunts and moans being swallowed by one another. tongues caressing and fighting for dominance as well as saliva mixing in the process. his hands drops from your cheeks to your hips where he holds and moves them back and forth so you rub against his thigh.

“ji..” you gasp as you pull away for a brief second. you pant a little before groaning softly as he leans in and peppers kisses along your neck. from the corner of your eye, you see the purple bruise from the other person and your heart sinks to your stomach like a dead weight. the tears come back and flow down your cheeks but you tilt your head to the side and allow jisung to kiss and mark your skin, acting like you belong to him and him only.

even though he doesn't belong to you anymore.

with each kiss, with each touch of his skin, a piece of your heart breaks off and crumbles to the floor but you're so consumed with him. his scent, his touch, his mind, body and soul. you've longed for him. longed for him to just take you, devour you, indulge in you.

“jisung.” you whisper softly. he pulls away from your neck. his lips glistening with saliva, his cheeks red and eyes glassy with lust and want. he wants you and it fills you up with so much ecstacy. you finally feel wanted.

jisung's grip on your hips tightens as he moves them a little faster. his thigh tenses under you, hardening as it rubs against your pussy through the layers of clothing. jisung presses his lips against yours again, this time it's messy, filled with want, need, desire and lust.

teeth bash together. saliva mixing and spilling from the lips. your lips swell as he nibbles and kisses them. you reach down between your bodies to cup his erection which causes jisung to gasp softly and hips to buck automatically in your hand.

you start by palming him slowly, feeling just how much he wants you. you trace his outline through the layers of fabric with your fingers before squeezing and palming him slowly but roughly.

his hands leave your hips to travel up your stomach from under your t-shirt where he stops just below your breasts. his fingers dance along your skin before cupping the soft flesh in his hands where he rolls and kneads them in his palms. you groan, eyes fluttering shut as you lean against the wall, hips grinding down on his thigh.

jisung watches you. he watches you unravel and fall right into the palm of his hands. he knows your weak spots, knows what you like and don't like but he also knows what drives you insane. your lips part as your breathy moans in the form of his name fall past them. his fingertips brush against your hard nipples where he teases them by delicately running his fingers over them.

it leaves goose bumps on the skin, your nipples to harden even further. your eyes open as you shake your head and beg;

“don't tease me. i need you more than ever.” 

jisung swallows, his body shivering at your words. you look so desperate for him. a look of intense lust and need spread all over your features. your hips moving on their own and your hands grasping at his clothing. you're begging for him, for his touch. you're begging for him to indulge in you.

he takes your hand and drags you to the bedroom. he strips himself off his clothing, the sight of his gorgeous tanned skin makes you throb. his broad shoulders and bulging chest. his tiny waist and soft stomach – you want it all.

he drops his underwear, letting them pool around his ankles before stepping out of them. his cock standing proud and leaking a little at the tip. you watch, frozen in time. your eyes trail from his chest to his penis where you admire it. the length, the way his foreskin hugs his tip, the veins that are slowly protruding along the sides; you feel so new, so vulnerable and no one can blame you. you haven't seen him naked in months so seeing him like this is enough to set a raging fire to burn in your stomach.

your breath hitches as he walks to you. he pulls your t-shirt up and over your head before latching onto your breasts. he suckles on your nipple, tongue playing and swirling around the hard bud. he coats it in his saliva, his tongue flat as he swipes it. 

one hand on your neglected breast, one hand currently pulling your bottoms and underwear off. his fingers tugging at your nipple simultaneously with each flick on his tongue. your fingers find their way into his silky smooth hair where you grasp and tug at the roots.

your bottom half is hit with cold air as your clothing shimmies down your legs and pools at your feet. the hand that was pulling your clothing off is now attached to your ass cheek where he massages the flesh and pulls your naked half flush against his own.

his cock slides between your thigh and rubs between your folds. you both gasp and shiver, jisung now gripping onto your ass cheeks as he thrusts his hips slowly, rubbing his cock against your cunt and plush thighs. he growls, teeth now sinking into the skin of your breasts before sucking and leaving purple bruising.

“so good.. fuck, i've missed you.” he moans as he buries his head in the crook of your neck. you swallow hard, swallowing down that burn in your throat as you blink back tears.

i've been here the whole time you wish to say but you don't want to ruin the mood. you have him, finally after months and months of waiting. you've allowed yourself to be weak, to indulge in his touch that you've craved.

you push back the negative thoughts, force yourself into forgetting about his affairs. as far as you're concerned, it's just you and him in the moment. you can play pretend – for one more night at least.

jisung cups your cheeks and kisses you messily. he's always been like this; sloppy and needy. it makes you wonder if he is the same with them as he is with you. you push the thought to the side as you kiss him back just as messily, desperation coursing through your veins and lust clouding your better judgment.

during the kiss, jisung walks forwards, pushing you backwards with each step until you hit the bed and fall back. without breaking the kiss, he kneels between your legs and leans over you, hands by the side of your head.

“69?” he questions in a breathy tone. you simply nod and hum before you both shuffle around and position yourselves. you on top, head by jisung's cock with your legs on either side of his head, cunt eye level with him.

he licks his lips hungrily, taking in a deep breath of your scent before moaning loudly and grabbing your ass cheeks. you giggle before grabbing the base of his cock and slowly stroke him.

he grunts before latching onto your swollen clit. your hips buck as his tongue swipes and toys with it, lips wrapping around the swollen bud as he sucks. two of his fingers rub between your puffy folds. a hum of satisfaction as he feels your slick coating his fingers up nicely.

“so fucking wet for me. i love how wet i make you, yn.” he mumbles. 

“only for you, baby.” you purr as you lazily stroke him. you pull back his foreskin, watching it slip down from his tip and revealing its red state. it's swollen, beads of precum forming before dispersing. his skin is hot against your palm. you lean down to press your tongue flat and glide it along his tip, collecting the salty precum.

you wrap your lips around his tip, lowering your head further down on his shaft. his thickness causes the corner of your lips to stretch and for you to feel full despite only managing less than half. jisung groans from below you, his penis being encapsulated in your warmth and wetness. 

it makes him want to fuck you right there and then. feel your soft and gummy walls tighten around his length. watch his shaft glisten in your slick – but he waits. he wants to play with your pretty pussy some more. he wants to feel it throb and beg for more of his touch. 

he loves how slick you feel. how you respond to his touch so well. he loves it, so much so, that he becomes riddled with guilt. his mind switches and turns back to the many times he was out for hours on end with the other person. they don't feel as good as you. they don't sound as good as you, yet he still continued because he became addicted to the thrill.

he knew he was hurting you. he saw each piece of you crumble every time he returned home. the sullen look on your face, your eyes puffy and red whilst filling up with tears as you noticed yet another bruise. he's a coward, he knows that. the amount of times he's wanted to tell you, to confess his sins, makes him feel sick to his own stomach.

he doesn't recognise himself anymore. the thrill of being with another changed him, changed him into something he vowed to never be. he became the man he hates. he willingly threw everything that he had with you away. the dreams, the talks, the wants and desires – gone!

he knows you'll never be able to bounce back from this. he knows that if you do decide to stay with him, he has his work cut out. he knows your anxiety will be all over the place and your trust in him is little to nothing; but if you're willing to give him another chance, he will try so hard until he is red in the face and sweating blood and shedding tears.

he wouldn't blame you if you broke up with him though. in fact, that's what he is expecting after all this. this isn't make-up sex, it's different. it's the calm before the storm (even though the storm has already happened) it's goodbye sex. one more night of passion. one more night of embracing each other before going your separate ways. the thought of spending the rest of his life without you, pains jisung and a burning lump forms in his throat.

he only has himself to blame though.

all his thoughts get casted aside as he feels his tip touch your throat. he wraps his arms around your ass, pulling you down so you're flush on his face. he buries his face in your cunt, licking and spitting, smearing and caressing. you bob your head up and down a few times before releasing him from your mouth. you stroke him as you spit on his tip and smear it in with your thumb so it mixes with his precum.

his hips buck as his dick throbs. he's sensitive. your touch is (and always has been) like fire to him. your mouth is once again on him, licking and sucking. it's sloppy and messy just how he likes it. 

whilst you suck, jisung pushes two of his fingers inside your aching core with ease due to your slick. your walls welcome him, hugging his fingers tightly as he thrusts them. you squeeze your eyes shut, basking in the pleasure that warms your body and veins. his tongue is latched onto your clit as he swirls it around and kitten licks it. his fingers hook and curl against your walls, pushing more inside until he brushes against your g-spot. 

when he does, your thighs shake and all your weight disappears. you pull from his cock, moaning in a breathy tone and asking for more. 

“j-jisung.. ji.. fuck!”

“my name sounds so beautiful when it rolls off your tongue.” he hums.

“m-more. please.”

“what do you want, baby? tell me.”

“i want you to fuck me.” you whimper. jisung hums and positions you on your back gently. he kneels between your legs, hands on your hips as he admires your body. 

he's been in this position with you many times before but today just feels different. it feels new, odd, strange but not bad. it feels like you two are having sex for the first time. everything feels like a dream, nothing is real and jisung is scared. he doesn't know what to do anymore.

as he reaches over to the bedside table for a condom, he is abruptly stopped by your hand grabbing his wrist. 

“no. no protection. i want to feel you, jisung.” he swallows thickly. he's always wanted to fuck you raw but for safety (and common sense) reasons, you've both been careful. 

“are you sure?” the tips of his ears burn red as you nod.

“yes.” you look to the side, avoiding his gaze as you mumble. “just do whatever you want.”

his heart shatters as he knows what you mean. he's been doing what he wants for months so why stop now? you sound so defeated, so energy less that it feels wrong. with a soft sigh, he grabs a condom, rips it open and rolls it onto his hard length.

“what are you doing?” 

“i can't do that.”

“why? you've always wanted to. i gave you permission to do so, so why are you not doing it?”

“yes, you gave me consent but it just doesn't feel right. i do want to fuck you raw and feel you but it just doesn't feel right. maybe next time?”

“next time?” you question with a raised brow. “there's going to be a next time?” jisung looks down and swallows. he doesn't say a word to which you sigh at. “just, hurry up and fuck me ji. i want to feel you still and have some fun. i still want to indulge you.”

“really?”

“really.”

with a nod, he guides his length to your entrance. you groan softly as he breaches you, stretching you in the process. he holds your waist tightly as you grip onto the sheets. you've forgotten how thick he is and how much the stretch burns, no matter how much jisung prepares you.

“fucking tight.” jisung says between laboured breaths. you hum as a response, breathing slowly as he pushes half his length inside. he stays to allow you to get used to his size, to allow the burn to subside. when it does, you give him the ok but he doesn't move.

you frown, repeating your ok again. his head is hanging low, his grip on you so tight. you lean up on your elbows for a better view.

“ji? are you ok?” your eyes widen when you hear the most painful, heart-breaking sob from him. a sound you've never heard from him before. a sound you wish to never hear. it makes your mind go blank, your heart to sink to your stomach for the nth time.

“'m sorry..” he whispers, tears dripping down his cheeks. “'m so so sorry.”

his voice cracks. he sounds so small, so vulnerable. tears blur your own vision before falling down your cheeks slowly.

“look at me.” he refuses so you repeat your sentence again, this time much more softly. he obeys, looking at you with tear stained cheeks and wet lashes.

“it'll be ok.” you say with a sad smile.

“no, it won't be! the damage is already done yn. i fucked up massively and my biggest fear will come true.”

“you only have yourself to blame ji. if you just told me about the drunken one night, then we could have got through it together and be ok again. but you went back to them, sober and willing. i was made to feel second best.”

“you're never second best to me, yn..”

“but i am. you didn't think about me when you left the house. you didn't think about me when you went to them. you didn't think about me when you fucked them. i am second best. you made me feel like i'm second best, ji.”

“i'm sorry. i know i keep repeating myself but i'm so terrible sorry! i'm the worst. i'm disgusting, a pig!”

“hey.” you reach up and wipe away his tears. “you fucked up, yes. massively if that, but that doesn't mean you should talk about yourself like that, darling. the jisung i know, the jisung i loved was kind, considerate, caring. you made me feel so alive and special.”

“i've become the man i hate.”

“one question.”

“mhm?”

“did you–” you swallow as you brace yourself. “did you enjoy it with the other person?”

“no.” jisung looks you square in the eyes. “it wasn't so much about the person as it was the thrill. i became addicted to it. i lost myself and in the process, i hurt you.” 

you nod before falling back onto your back. he's telling the truth. you've known him long enough to know if he is lying or not. however, this just made your decision much more difficult. if he had given you a different answer, it would've been much easier for you to leave.

but you're attached to him. attached to the way he makes you feel. attached to the memories, good and bad! he's everything to you and more. you don't want to leave him, you don't want to be alone. you want to spend your life with jisung because he is all you've ever known.

however, it wouldn't be fair on either of you. you won't be able to trust him, question his every move. he has patience but a person only has so much so how long will it be until you drive him away and lose him for good.

tears drip down the bridge of your nose as you think. your teeth digging into your bottom lip. you let out shaky breathes as you feel jisung lean over you and cup your cheeks gently.

your eyes lock with his. his tears dripping onto your cheeks and merging with yours.

“i love you.” he whispers. you swallow and shake your head.

“no you don't. if you did, you wouldn't have done what you've done. you wouldn't have made me feel like this.”

it hurts him, like a dagger to the heart but he understands where you're coming from. both consumed with negative thoughts, jisung holds your waist gently and sniffs.

“shall we?” he asks. you nod and close your eyes, waiting to be basked and filled with so much pleasure, it clouds your thoughts and masks your feelings.

jisung starts off slow and steady, picking up the pace once he hears your soft moans. the pleasure soon overrides the negativity as you (and jisung) become consumed with each other once again.

your gummy walls squeeze around his shaft. the sound of skin on skin and your soppy cunt mixing together with the breathy moans. you call for his name, reaching up for him. he leans down, pressing his chest against yours as you wrap your arms around his neck and legs around his waist.

he pushes more of himself inside until he is balls deep. you nuzzle into his neck, inhaling his natural scent that mixed with the smell of sweat. jisung's hot breathes fan against your neck, his lips occasionally kissing your neck as he thrusts.

“feels good.” you moan softly.

“me too. you feel so good around me, yn. fuck, you feel so fucking amazing!” 

“keep going, please! don't stop.” you whine. he nods as his tip bumps against your g-spot. your body jerks and muscles twitch. each thrust, rub and bump of your insides brings you closer to the edge. you tighten around him, squeezing him tightly as your gut burns.

“it's ok. cum around my cock, yn.” he purrs before kneeling up. he holds your inners thighs far apart as he thrust fast. his gaze fixated on your cunt and the way it devours his cock. you whine and with a few more thrusts, you're calling out his name as your orgasm hits you.

your walls contract around jisung's length. your mind blank and back arching off the bed. it only takes a few more thrusts from jisung before he is trembling and emptying his cock into the condom.

once you're both calm and relaxed from the high, he pulls out slowly. he rolls the condom off, ties it and discards it in the trash. 

“want to shower together?” he asks, hopefully.

“um, no. i think i will shower after you.” jisung nods and gives you a sullen smile. as soon as the bathroom door closes, reality hits you like a bus.

you can't stop it. the pent up emotions finally overflow and spill. tears stream down your cheeks as you cry hard. you struggle to breath as you cry for the man you once loved and knew. you're so confused, mind fuzzy and muddled as you're unsure on what to do. 

you want him. you want him so badly but it pains you. you can't look at him without seeing him with them. without feeling like you will always be second best, like you'll never be enough.

jisung hears it all. he hears your broken wails and sobs and it pains him even more to know that he is the cause of your pain. if he could turn back time, back to when things were simpler, he would've never attended that stupid party that started all this. he only has himself to blame.

he's not a religious man but he prays that as soon as he is done in the shower; you will still be there. 

𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄 | uh, i have no words 🙈 don’t forget to leave feedback, reblog and tell me what you think here. curious as to what is next? here is my wips list! i hope you all enjoy! ‹3

𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐒 (𝐎𝐏𝐄𝐍) | @bintific ; @septicrebel ; @amyyscorner ; @hyunluvxo ; @aestheticsluut ; @xcookiemonsteer ; @lilquokka04 ; @myprwttyhan ; @fairylouist

#kwritersworldnet #wkcnet #straykidsland #skz smut #stray kids smut #skz angst #stray kids angst #jisung #han jisung #jisung smut #han jisung smut #jisung x you #jisung x reader #han jisung x you #han jisung x reader #skz x you #skz x reader #stray kids x you #stray kids x reader

[chrissturnsgirlll222]

second, never first

part seventeen

| part one | part two | part three | part four | part five | part six | part seven | part eight | part nine | part ten | part eleven | part twelve | part thirteen | part fourteen | part fifteen | part sixteen |

chris x fem!reader

summary - you grew up hating one guy all of high school but suddenly become friends, but as time goes on feelings develop, only its one sided.

warnings - swearing, kissing, use of y/n, mention of family issues, mention of domestic abuse (not between chris and reader), fluff

word count - 2k??

NOT PROOFREAD

-

chris and i both dosed off and i woke up with him on top of me with his face buried in to my neck. i hear my phone ringing and gently untangle myself from him to go answer it. he groans as i move from under him and i freeze, “sorry” i whisper and walk over to my phone on his desk.

i swear my face loses all its colour as i read, incoming call from mom.

i pick it up and run to the bathroom. shutting the door and sitting on the toilet and answering the phone.

“mom?” i saw in a low tone in hopes of no one hearing me. “y/n where have you been i havent seen you in 2 days now.” she croaked. my hand flies over my mouth as i feel tears pricking my eyes, “ive- um, ive been at a friends house mom.” my voice breaks. “are you ok?” i ask.

“yes sweetie im fine, why wouldnt i be fine.” she states. tears now falling from my eyes in shock as she is completely avoiding the fact that i witnessed my father abusing her right in front of me. “what do you mean ‘why wouldnt you be fine’. you know exactly what i mean by asking if your okay mom.” i whisper yell.

“y/n its fine your dad just had a moment-“ i cut her off. “mom stop avoiding the problem here! dad was abusing you, plain and simple. dont act like it didnt happen because i saw it with my own eyes.” i raise my voice. the tears flowing out of my eyes are full of pure anger and frustration, why the fuck is she acting like everything is ok. it absolutely is not. “its ok honey, i promise. just come home please. have news to tell you but i would rather tell you in person”

“ok. in not staying in that house with him though, i hope you know that.” i growl. “i understand, see you soon y/n.”

i hang up the phone and rest it on the counter dropping my head in to my hands as i feel as thought i should rip out every last strand of my hair. how am i supposed to go home and talk to her as if everything is normal. what about chris. i dont even think he would drive me to my house after what happened with my dad the last time, which i bet my mom doesnt even know about that. i angrily sigh, wiping my tears and get up from where im seated and grab my phone walking in to chris’ room. i walk in quietly to see chris face down head turned to the side with his phone in one hand. “baby, who called? you sounded angry.” chris mumbles as he hears me walking into the room, sitting upright.

my face flushes at him hearing me and i tense up. “um- my mom called. she wants me to go home for the night.” i basically whisper. “y/n no.” chris huffs, “i know chris but its my mom were talking about, i cant leave her alone forever.”

“what happens if your dad is there” he questions. i bring my arms up to hug myself. “chris i promise if anything happens i will text you immediately.” i walk over to him and sit on the edge of his bed. “i understand, just please be careful” he pulls me in to his lap and i wrap my arms around his shoulders. running my hands through his hair as his hands are on my back. “i dont ever want to see you that hurt again.” he says pressing a kiss to my forehead and i squeeze him closer to me. “ill be ok i promise.”

-

chris drove me to my house and would not let go of my hand the entire time, giving me nervous smiles here and there. “chris im going to my home, im not moving away forever.” i try to lighten the mood. “i know i just want you to be safe and dont forget to c-“ i cut him off.

“call you if i feel unsafe, babe i understand i promise.” i reassure. he pulls up to my house and leans over to kiss me. “i love you, be safe.” he whispers putting a hand to my cheek. i close my eyes and lean in to his palm putting my hand over his. i kiss the inside of his palm and lean in to kiss him again, “i love you.” i say before getting out. i walk towards my front door and chris doesnt leave until i get inside.

thankfully i didnt see my dads car on the drive way as i walk in, closing the door behind me and see my mom sitting on the couch which a mug of tea in her hand and shes watching tv. the house is clean and looks like absolutely nothing happened in here. “mom” she looks over at me and im surprised to see that she has no bruises or anything. she actually looks perfectly fine?

“y/n oh my god it feels so good to see you. you have no idea, i had no clue where you were.”

“i was with a friend, i couldnt be here after what happened.”

“yeah lets talk about that-“ she trails off mid conversation and goes to the kitchen. “i kicked your dad out, it was happening for years and knowing that you saw that side of him-“ she paused.

“it wasnt right letting you have to witness that, i should have done something when it began years ago.”

“years mom, years you have been letting him do that to you?” i croak.

“i know, im weak, fraile, a failure, a bad mom, vulnerable, but i stayed with him in hopes that you wouldnt grow up without a father.” she sighs. “mom if you were getting abused, leaving would have been better than being with him.” i console.

“your not weak, your the strongest person i know.”

her face warmed up and she walked towards me giving me a hug. the first hug i had gotten from my mom in years. she pulled away, “was that chris that dropped you off.” she smiled, “yeah.” i sniffle and wipe my tears away. “so are you guys dating now.” she prys. “mom right now is not the time to bring up my boy issues.” i roll my eyes.

“sweetie, right now is a time of celebration. we are both free, your dad was a sick mother fucker that i should have dumped years ago. i love him and always will but i couldnt let you see him like that again.”

“i understand.” i walked over to the kitchen counter and sat down. she couldnt take her eyes off me.

“something is so different about you today.” she admires, “mom i was gone for 2 days nothing about me changed that much.” i laugh. “oh really? your wearing a hoodie that says ‘sturniolo’ on the back” i look at chris’ hoodie and roll my eyes, “and your genuinely smiling.” she smiles, “you my daughter have a boyfriend.”

“hes not my boyfriend mom oh my god, i was at his house for 2 days and didnt really pack that heavy.” i try to explain. “y/n im not dumb. you have always liked that sturniolo boy. why didnt you stay with anna if your not dating chris?”

“anna and i arent friends anymore, shes a bitch.” my moms eyes go wide as i rarely swear around her. “ok, but your dating chris.”

“mommmmm.” i groan, “i know everything honey, theres no denying it.” i giggle and go to my room. checking my phone to texts from chris.

friday 12:34pm

chris: babe is everything ok?

chris: is your dad there?

chris: baby answerrr

chris: hellooooo????

i smile at my phone and respond

y/n: everything is ok, my mom actually kicked my dad out so everything is all good over here :))

chris: oh good good

chris: i love you have a good time with your mom sweet girl

i feel my heart squirm at him calling me sweet girl and i smiled to myself. god i love him.

-

me and mom spent the day together going grocery shopping and just being around eachother happily. my time away from chris just made me crave being around him. i never new someones presence could be so addictive, i just wanted to be with him at all times. i got in the shower around 7pm and while in the shower i decided on going to his house. getting out of the shower, brushing my teeth, doing skincare, blowdrying my hair and finally putting on his hoodie and some sweatpants. i give up on trying to impress him with my clothing as he has literally seen what i look like when i first wake up.

going downstairs my mom smiles at me, “have fun with your boyfriend!” she says in a taunting tone, “not my boyfriend.” i sing song back at her.

mom mentioning chris as my boyfriend made me think about our situation. we love eachother but he has yet to ask to be my boyfriend. i wonder if i should bring it up to him, would that ruin stuff? i mean we pretty much call eachother our fake boyfriend and girlfriend already. what would hurt about making it real boyfriend and girlfriend. this is so confusing god. for people in books its so simple to transition from talking to dating but i am completely overthinking this.

i pull up to chris’ house and knock on the door, waiting for someone to open it and his mom opens it, “y/n! we werent expecting you, come in come in.”

“hi, sorry for barging in like this i just came to see chris.” i smiled, “oh chris? yeah hes just up in his room, you can join us for dinner me and jimmy just got back from our trip and we heard lots about you while we were away.” she chuckles.

i make my way upstairs and knock on his door, “who is it?” he yells, i crack open the door and i see him at his gaming chair. he looks over and his face lights up, “y/n! come sit.” he says patting the spot on his bed that is close to his setup. he mutes his mic and turns around and i sit down. he puts his hands on my knees and leans in to peck my lips. “i missed you, i didnt know you were coming here.”

“well i missed you so i decided to come hangout for a bit.” i say. “your mom invited me for dinner.” i chuckled. “matt told mom we were together now so shes eager to get to know you.” he says and i gasp.

“were together?”

“i mean yeah.” he says furrowing his eye brows, “well you didnt even ask me to be your girlfriend yet.”

“y/n l/n will you be my girlfriend?” he grins, “chris sturniolo yes i will.”, ok so that was easy. i pull him in for a kiss and move to sit on his lap. i sit with my legs curled up against his thigh and my back to the arm rest of his gaming chair with my arms wrapped around his torso. “you smell good.” he says kissing the top of my head while playing his game. “well i would hope so i just showered.”

“your so annoying im trying to be sweet, your so literal.” he chuckles. “well you love me anway” i say kissing his cheek.

“mhm” he places another kiss on the top of my head and i cuddle into his torso even more.

-

thanks for reading xx

taglist: @sleepysturnss @blahbel668 @alorsxsturn @w4nnabeurs @junnniiieee07 @waydasims @matthewloverr @bitchydragonparadise @matthewsturnioloswifey @iloveneilperry y @stunza @realuvrrr @sturnsjtop @tubl-mc @lilsstvrn @sturniololol l @sturnssmuts @emlovesthesturniolos s

a/n: love you all!!! sorry this took forever to come out <333

#chris sturniolo #christopher sturniolo #sturniolo edit #sturniolo fanfic #sturniolo imagine #sturniolo smut #sturniolo triplets #sturniolo x reader #chris sturniolo x reader #chris sturniolo x y/n #chris sturniolo x you #matty b sturniolo #matt sturniolo angst #matthew bernard sturniolo #matt sturniolo x you #matt sturniolo x reader #matthew sturniolo #matt sturniolo #nick sturniolo #nicolas sturniolo #chris sturniolo fluff #sturniolo

[goldentlme]

i’m searching for you in my fading memories .

alternate versions .

whooh . WHOOH !!!!! good GOD !!!!

listen to the song linked while looking I think it really adds . look up a translation too if you want ! listen to the entire lies of p ost in fact . its fucking fantastic .

NOTES .

in april 2022 , i drew a fanmade book cover for the danganronpa x reader fic Sleep Awake . in december of 2023 i redesigned my reader for that story for the third time and thought it appropriate to redraw that old cover with their new design . and yesterday , january 13th 2024 , i finished that bitch . View the fruits of my labour .

in my last Notes section i talked about nerfing the lighting . well um . i nerfed it again . i dont know if it was fate or if i just . idk . didnt want to but i axed both original concepts - the yellow overhead light ( mostly) , and the light blue under light - and just Winged the fuck outta it . that ' mostly ' means that the light source is Still overhead but i just took the colour out to make it more neutral .

another thing i brought up were the shelves and how i wanted to add more items to them . I did it this time , but not to the extent that i really wanted to . i'd hoped for more Clutter and ultimately couldnt think of anymore than a few items . SAID ITEMS BEING !!!!

the pills . self explanatory , since they haunted the majority of cases 2 and 3 .

chess pieces . cute little reference to the chess scene ! even if the scene itself didnt feature real chess pieces , the imagery wouldnt work if i didnt use real pieces .

the letter opener . dont need to explain this one . but i Did originally plan to have it in shin's hand ( explaining why that one is balled like that , because there was originally a Thing in there ) but i couldnt figure out how to draw it and make it look Good . i only added it back when i was colouring the trinkets on the shelves and realised that i Forgot to put it back into the drawing .

the joker card in the bottom corner . also shouldnt have to explain this one .

LITTLE DETAILS I THINK YOU SHOULD LOOK AT .

THE HANDS !!!!!!!!! i decided at the very last second to make them vaguely see through . and theyre all a persons ! amami and shinguji are the obvious ones , but the two holding at the top are supposed to be ouma ( on the scarf ) and akamatsu ( on the rope ) . i would have included tojo's as well but i couldnt fit it in the composition without it looking awkward and out of place and i thought there were already enough references to case 3 as is .

and you literally cant even see it but if you look REALLY closely at oumas hand . his skin is a little grey and you can see the veins through the skin . wonder what happened there . Guess we'll never know !

THE BOOKS !! did the same thing as last time with a Little More . purple books are ouma , green are both amami and tojo , blue is both kiibo and chabashira , pink is akamatsu , and red is phys themselves . i know phys's canonical colour association is olive green but consider : shin is red . look at him . hes Red . that ones for me specifically .

with that . i did all of those books by hand . i drew about 9 variations of books and copy pasted them sure but i Shaded and Coloured them all individually . youll never guess how fucking LONG that took . so yeah . no one book has the exact same shading . goodie !

THE JOKER !!! yes i know i talked about it in the previous section but i WILL talk about the card itself . because i unironically am so in love with how that drawing came out . the little guy featured there is my Lies of P oc scaramouche or scaramuccia ( i use them interchangeably ) . hes a silly jester :3 . the depiction on the card is of him in his prime , before . All Of That Happened . story-wise he's a super famous circus performer known as " The One Man Show " because all of his acts are done alone and are absolutely insane . hes very good at what he does which is Why he doesnt have a crew . and the only reason hes so good is because he't not even human , just pretending to be !

additionally , i originally planned for that joker card to be a Real Life Joker . because a little known fun fact about me is that i collect playing card decks ! but i looked and literally NONE of the ones i currently own would have fit the piece . so . yeah . i just ended up drawing darling scaramuccia . heres the full image im so chuffed

i think thats all i got for the drawing itself . i initially started this back in early december but got stuck and picked it back up a couple days ago , so its been marinating for a bit . hope we all like it ! i think its Better than the original . THE SERIOUS STUFF .

its so fucking insane to think that its been almost 2 years . not only have i truly rediscovered my love of reader insert fanfiction after so many years unable to even think about it without feeling a little sick to my stomach , but ive made so many good friends and core memories through this fic . i even got back into writing . literally never thought id write again after my 11th grade english class and my 10th grade creative writing class . and im having FUN with it . wild .

anyways , this one goes out to vee @chihirolovebot for writing one of The Fics of all time , putting up with my insane ramblings about idol these past months ( READ SWINGING RIGHT NEOWWWW ) , and for letting me help design their dnd characters . godspeed .

it goes out to nex @nexuswrites for beating better genshin character builds into me , giving great fic recommendations , creating thief of detectives quandary fame . READ DQ ( THREAT ) !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! , and being a fellow p5 and pokemon lover . i miss the coordinator and justice

and of COURSE !!!! rei @berry-creates . the gay the myth the legend . a fellow oc haver and lover , a fantastic writer , and an overall lovely person . this one goes out to u for sharing oc playlists , playing splatoon with me , and for creating maddie . theyre a little freak and i want to study them . i love seeing u go insane over them its like enrichment for me bc i too am also a little mentally ill about them im just really good at hiding it .

theres a whole lot more i could say and more people i could talk about but this is long enough , isnt it ?

thanks for a beautiful 2 years of physouma yaoi . heres to the upcoming sleep awake case 6 , epilogue , all the future additions to the one shot book , the entire rest of dq , tfp , and sams , and more blorbos to put in the smoothie maker . this took a whole two hours to write .

cheers , boys .

song of the post .

#my art #my words #sleep awake #hen shin #danganronpa

[wannaeatramyeon]

Love your blog! 🥹 Can you write some general Gun and Goo headcannons? They’re such a fun duo I can’t- 🤠

Thank you for being so sweet anon and again sorry for the looong delay. Take this complete and utter word vom. I.. I don't really know what this is apart from a ramble presented in bullet points.

Gun Park + Goo Kim: Duo headcanons

Fuck, I love these two.

Let's start from the top.

Gun and Goo might not always get on, often behaving more like a bickering old married couple one step away from throttling each other, but they absolutely respect one another.

Begrudgingly so. Meeting someone that can go toe to toe with them does not happen every day.

Being secret friends or successor though, is completely out of the question. They never even considered it in the first place despite Gun ticking most of Goo's criteria and vice versa.

Both completely unhinged and chaotic in very different, often clashing, ways. Finding each other grating, fighting skills complementing each other due to circumstance rather than naturally.

Gun thinks of Goo as a disloyal, flighty and greedy maniac. Whereas Goo sees Gun as a dull stick-in-the-mud who only cares about fighting.

They're both right.

Gun doesn't care much for material goods. He will still buy the best of the best, because why the hell not. However, he does not form any sentimental attachment to it.

Goo is surprisingly similar. Often preferring shopping sprees as a form of a power trip and to show off how rich he is. There is a fleeting thrill of buying something he wants, but ultimately it gets discarded.

Stealing Gun's things, on the other hand, much more rewarding for Goo.

The first time he laid eyes on Gun wearing the striped yellow shirt and scarf combo, Goo knew he had to have it. Besides, it would look much nicer on him, dont you think? What the hell is Gun Park doing wearing such bright colours anyway.

In all honesty, Gun doesn't waste enough energy on clothing to say anything when he saw Goo in his outfit. Although he did roll his eyes and take an extra long drag of his cigarette.

(A/N: I love the idea of Goo stealing Gun's clothes. But I tend to flip flop between how private Gun is, keeping his work and personal life completely separate. )

If the outfit isn't stolen, then it would mean Goo went out and bought the exact same thing... Which is funnier if you think about it.

Because the sheer amount of effort that that takes, finding the same top, same scarf - because why the fuck would Gun tell him where he got it even if Goo did ask.

The fact that Goo takes a significant time out of his day just to fuck with Gun. Truly, what an idiot. Does he have nothing better to do?

Spending so much time together, they pick up naturally on each other's likes and dislikes. Well, Gun does anyway. Goo does most of the talking, and the few times Gun does talk - Goo doesn't even bother to listen.

Unfortunately, that means if someone asked Gun what happened on the latest episode of an anime series, he would be able to recite exactly what Goo has told him, and then afterwards beat them up for asking in the first place.

There's a closeness there that disgusts them both equally with how well they know each other. Music preferences, how they take their coffee. Knowing each other's mood like their own. Ugh.

Life carries on though and there's still shit to do. WIth most of their waking moments spent together, they weave in their own errands between jobs and missions.

At least Goo does. Gun's life is much more orderly instead of a whirlwind of chaos. He is proactive and reactive whereas it appears to him that Goo will just fulfil his own whims as they come up.

Either way, Goo is the one driving and it's his car so Gun has no choice but to go with.

Well. Gun can stay in the car like some sort of pitiful dog awaiting their master's return or join in with Goo.

He usually opts for the latter, and also regrets it too. For example, getting cookies together for fuck's sake. Grabbing ice cream. Ring shopping!

Really, don't let anyone tell you that Gun is impatient. He puts up with far too much from his blonde partner. He can be extremely level headed, often choosing to walk away from things not worth his time rather than waste his energy. There's a lot of hill where he would prefer not to die on where Goo Kim is concerned.

If you asked Goo what was the one thing he hated most about Gun, the ensuing silence would be the longest he has ever been quiet for. Because there really is so much he hates about that fucking guy.

Just one? Then Goo would likely say the smoking. Not only does it stink, but the smell seeps into the car interior and lingers on everything. Goo often likes to pretend he's choking when Gun lights up. Putting on a coughing fit and spraying spittle everywhere until Gun walks away in disgust.

If you asked Gun what he hated most about Goo Kim? Completely deadpan and straight faced, he would say 'everything'.

#sorry idk what this is #lookism #lookism webtoon #lookism manhwa #lookism hc #lookism headcanons #gun park #goo kim #park jonggun #kim joongoo #wannaeatramyeon

[snixx]

heyyy so like a completely sane and hinged normal person i just watched all of 'in the heights' umm 😗

first of all i love stephanie beatriz and i love that shes in it and nina has absolute killer cheekbones omg, also i love watching shit in spanish and dont enough so thank u 🫶🫶

poor nina omg i instantly loved her and felt bad for her in the beginning :(( also i absolutely loved usnavi hes so charming and lovely and vanessa slays so hard oml, and sonny hdjdksjsj hes so silly i love him but at the same time hes such a good guy and has depth to him yk, i love it when all the characters have a story and not just one (that doesnt happen in the american shows i watch 👀👀 no hate to them tho i still love them)

the song u sent me which was already so beautiful was even more so in context and ur absolutely so right benny is such a sweetheart oh god i loved him but at the same time when he teases usnavi jdksjaj

and omg nooo nina theyre not LISTENING to her :((( my baby ahhhh its killing me and benny saying 'youre not hearing her' I LOVE HIM what a cutie omg

also can i just say abuela claudia slays and i LOVED her story, she kinda made me think of my mum ngl and also her death was so beautiful and bittersweet and the song after was so beautiful too

and unavis daughter was so cute omg she was adorable and i loved her

i felt a special connection to sonny too for some reason, new projection character?? 🤭

vanessa and usnavi were killing me too like omg just get together !!!!! >:(

i loved the ending tho and the bodega painting thing was so sweet aw oml

i usually dont like watching movies bcs they dont impact me the same as series bcs its just not long enough a time to get through all the characters and get to properly know them but this one was different, i loved everything about it, it was genuinely so beautiful and i spiring and like euphoric in a way if u get what i mean?

anyway now that i've watched it i can proudly say that i find myself equipped to be your benny 😤 (i hope you dont think im insane now)

omfg alex ily wtf

ITS SO GOOD LITERALLY ONE OF MY FAVOURITE MOVIES OF ALL TIME. like its the first movie that comes to mind when i try to think of a perfect movie (i have a mixed playlist for the movie and the broadway musical because it left out some songs but its so full of life and colour and i love it so much). and the funny thing is i normally am not a movie person too but this was so long and i still loved it

anyway you're insane and i love you

NINAAAA LITERALLY THE LOML SHE'S SUCH A MOOD AND SHE AND VANESSA ARE BOTH SO FUCKING PRETTY AND BADASS

you're so right about the american tv shows and you should say it. also YES SONNY LITERALLY THE MVP HE'S SO SO SO REAL AND EVERYTHING

every character is so beautiful and complex and i love them so much. also usnavi is a butch loser lesbian i don't make the rules <3

anywayy i was already deep in the obsession but youve made me want to watch the movie yet again brb kjfdhgkjfdh

#summer child 🍃 #in the heights #sdjdkfhsdjkgh omfg i read this before my exam and was grinning like a maniac all morning

[heartslobbf]

i watched heartstopper s2 because i was an avid osemanverse enjoyer in my early teen years (back when alice oseman still had anons on rip) and owe some of my aspec self-discovery to their writing. i knew they had written an aroace storyline into this series and wanted to see it because whilst i knew as an aroallo lesbian i wouldn’t totally resonate and might be a bit cheesed off by aspects of it, i enjoy aromantic crumbs, and i enjoy discussing aspec Stuff even more. it was……. an interesting experience? has certainly given me a lot to think about. gushy rant below the cut :)

i will say, i think that the amatonormativity is still strong, and rigid in this show. it’s like, isaac is the exception to the rule and his true love is books, and he gets to yell at his friends for all being so damn couple-y and romance-obsessed but there’s no resolution to that. is that realistic? yeah, sure, allo friends can fucking suck, but heartstopper is the kind of show aiming to do certain things for queer kids where id expect a dialogue about this. you know, charlie & co coming to understand aspec identities and becoming more conscious of how amatonormativity affects them, interrogating it in such a way that these queer couples can also be liberated from its trappings. juicy shit like that. didnt happen tho. isaac gets a book about asexuality (no mention of aromanticism on its cover!!! the word is used by the artist who vaguely explains both terms to isaac, but there is a much greater focus on asexuality, so much so that this morning i saw pink fucking news celebrating isaac’s asexual storyline without a mention of his aromanticism) and that’s it.

a lot of that criticism is arguably coloured by my experience as an aroallo person, because i just want aromanticism to be engaged with as aromanticism. you know aroaces we are besties in arms solidarity and all that, and im so fucking happy you got some great asexual rep that frequently used the word asexual, as well as your flag and iconography. like fuck yeah!!!!!! let’s go!!!!!! however, aromanticism is not a subset of asexuality, is not an ‘extreme form’ of asexuality, does not necessarily have anything to do with asexuality. im sure the aspec folks know this, but allo fuckers dont and that means that this canonically aromantic character who was emotionally affecting to me is one that im gonna be barred from resonating with again and again.

you know, moments of isaac’s story were so profound and moving for me. i cried at the kiss scene in episode 5, it was probably the single most relatable moment of tv (related to my experiences with sexuality) that ive ever seen. its certainly not my favourite tv moment of all time lol, relatability ≠ quality, but when youre part of a marginalised group and experience a lot of loneliness and alienation surrounding your identity it is great to see it reflected. i honestly loved that shit!!!!! ive been there!!!! that’s me!!!!!! the wanting and the not wanting!!! the jealousy and confusion and alienation, the longing to be able to feel what you can’t just so you don’t have to be so lonely, the knowledge that you’re just not that person…… oh it was great. it was fucking great. so you can maybe appreciate how upsetting it is for other people to neglect the aromantic facets of this canonically aromantic character, when we dont get shit.

having said that, asexuals also dont get shit; my issue is absolutely not with isaac being aroace, but rather with how mainstream understanding of aspec identities is still so piss poor that people neglect the aromantic aspect of that identity. i found isaac to be a relatable character and i enjoyed and appreciated that about him; i wish more people would talk about him being both asexual and aromantic, because aromanticism does not get talked about enough as anything other than an ‘extension’ of asexuality, an idea which only diminishes the complexity and vastness of both (fucking awesome and beautiful) identities. love and light and solidarity forever with all other aspec folk <3

#im not tagging this as anythjng lol this was just for me hence the cut #i am once again riddled with osemanverse opinions #shut up daisy

[aroacesigma]

do you have any sigzai hcs (or just hcs about sigma or dazai separately)

you're going to regret asking this . headcanons under the cut cause im gonna feel annoying otherwise . most of them are what i headcanon as happening like post canon in a nice world where everyone is alive and happy lol

sigzais <3

ok so to me they are THE transmasc qpps ever . i might be projecting a little but both dazai and sigma are both so transmasc to me. on one hand you have sigma who wears 10 billion shirt layers and a long ass coat and goes on and on about being an ordinary man, and then on the other hand you have dazai who also wears clothes like that and bandages over his chest

hc sigma as oriented aroace with ???? orientation . hes just very confused . theyre so confused . and dazai as bi aroacespec and not particularly averse to any stuff just doesnt feel the attraction most of the time

poor sigma has spent all this time around fyolai like 'god why the fuck are people like this' and then he meets dazai and is like ohhhhhhh. oh .

when sigma joins the ada (and they will u mark my words) him and dazai end up sharing an apartment

at first dazais excited because maybe he wont be living off horrible cooking

unfortunately sigma also cannot cook for shit . he fucking sucks . legitimately the only thing he can cook is cookies in a packet mix .

sigma is unfortunately going through the same phase that kids of controlling parents go through when they finally get freedom, which is making a bunch of stupid decisions . dazai , being the wonderful boyfriend he is, is encouraging all the dumb decisions because he thinks its funny

most of their dates is just going to cafes because sigma has the worlds most horrendous sweet tooth and sigma has no moral objections to guilt tripping him into it

despite being pretty bad at it themself, sigma has a tendency to hit dazai with a pillow until he takes care of himself

vice versa dazai will be a distracting little bitch and wont stop if he thinks sigma is overworking himself

sigma

he/they sigma is so real to me btw just need everyone to know this . they like messing around with neos as well sometimes i think

even though he's pretty much always tired , isnt really a huge fan of coffee , definitely prefers really fancy tea and energy drinks

decided to run with the whole purple thing cause of his hair , abolutely loves the colour. anything he owns is purple if they can get it .

smiles all happy while listening to music in a way that makes you think its something nice . its not . his only musical requirements are loud and screaming to drown out the Anxiety™

not my headcanon but i saw someone say once that they headcanon that occasionally people get an uncanny valley kinda vibe from looking at him cause of his weird origins and honestly i think thats pretty interesting

very happy to join the ada . not quite as impressed by the paycheck .

like , really not impressed by the paycheck . theyre struggling with the dwindling clothes budget . i can totally see him trying to decide whether he wants dinner or new earrings . and probably picking the earrings .

they get along with everyone at the agency really well . a few people dont really trust him straight up but atsushi and dazai vouching for him shuts that down relatively quickly

he gets along the best with atsushi

they have a friendly rivalry with kunikida . agency productivity going straight up just because those two keep trying to outdo each other

dazai

100% has multiple troll accounts online . he enjoys being a menace . not in the mean way , in the absolutely fucking infuriating kind of way

remained in denial (or more oblivious really) about being trans until he was 16 because he asked chuuya if everyone felt like that one time and chuuya was like well yeah (also trans and stupid)

on a related note (this one is kind of about dazai and chuuya but it still counts) mori was kind of like ohhh teenage boys are so much easier to deal with right ? kouyou decided it was best not to inform him that hrt gives you mood swings .

adhd. adhd. adhd.

hes a candy crush mum . its a problem .

eats everyone at the ada's food . but he doesnt eat the whole thing he'll just take a bite . its high up on kunikidas 'things that make me want to string dazai up by his legs and attach him to a ceiling fan' list

has been known to send 12 yr olds graphic violent death threats after losing to them in video games

he has the music taste of a 14 yr old cishet girl . i will let you decide what that entails .

my deepest apologies for making you read all this but i love them both dearly and i have lots of Thoughts

#asks #dreamsicle262 #sigzai #sigma #dazai #ramblings #headcanons i like

[malka-lisitsa]

@touchedbydestiny continued from [ X ]

"Bounty hunter?? Seriously? That's it? Your whole steal me from Silas plan was just so you could feed me to some bounty hunter for what? Half the cash? Hope it's worth the top ten spot on Silas' hit list." At this very moment she wasn't sure which was worse... Silas or Klaus... while being human..? hard to tell... genuinely...

Oh. Wow. ' you are truly pathetic ' Katherine doesn't know this woman. Never met her before in her life, she is just another random antagonist on her long list of antagonistic run-ins across five hundred years. SO realistically? She has absolutely no reason to give a SINGLE FUCK about this bitches approval or what she thinks about her.... and yet... hearing that sent Katherine all the way back to the day she found out she was pregnant. Something about the tone, delivery, maybe the expression? It was like looking at her father pacing and telling her how big of a disappointment she was. Foolish idiot girl. Disgrace. Pathetic. It wasn't her fault.

mama molya te! molya te mama!

The cries seemed to echo off the walls even if she knew realistically there was no sound.

All of the playful drained out of her expression while the colour seemed to drain out of her face. Suddenly all that was left was the person she'd had to become to survive.

"Pathetic, am I? You wouldn't last one day going through anything I've gone through in my life. I don't know what stories you heard, but they're just that. Stories. You weren't there. You don't know what happened, and you don't know me. Why don't you slide off your high horse for a second and go ahead and picture yourself suddenly human. Now picture a raging bitch of a vampire dragging you along for no reason with zero regard to anything you're feeling and then go ahead and toss on top of that some degradation to your current situation. Got a good picture in your head? Good. Go fuck yourself."

"What do you expect me to do? I'm playing three different games here. I bust out of here? I get caught by Silas. OR Klaus. Then I'm hunted by three people instead of one, with a LOT less tools in my kit to stay alive. So yes. I could come up with some genius plan to get the hell out of here, but whats the point? Right now?

This is the safest place for me to be, and if you were going to kill me? You'd of done it already. So shut the fuck up about how pathetic I am, and take a good hard look in the mirror, because instead of doing, i dont know, anything? To make me stop complaining? You just keep bitching about it. You're a child. youre pathetic. this is the great katherine pierce? Yes, it is. And before you rush back to insult me again, why don't you take a look around the room and tell me just how many weapons are in it that I could stab you in the heart with. Now ask yourself why I havent, and I'd advise you to stray from underestimating me. I've been playing NICE."

If Nadia had been looking for Katherine Pierce? There she was.

#touchedbydestiny #updated thread #the other one kept glitching #also holy god im so sorry she went 0 to 100 in an instant #im the one that gets to make the queue

[bunmurdock]

WAIT BUILDING ON ARTIST!READER, you should know turpentine (paint thinner, medium, accelerates oils’ notoriously long drying times) is INCREDIBLY pungent even for regular people - I had to paint in an open air stairwell in high school because my art teacher had such a sensitivity that smelling it for too long would make her feel faint and possibly pass out - Could Matt handle it? Yeah cuz he’s a slut for pain, but I like thinking of the possible shenanigans.

Maybe reader straight up doesn’t use turpentine because of that, and sometimes Matt touches the painting and it’s like “well shit that wasn’t completely dry” (which happens even if you use turpentine LMAO rip) and they both have a little laugh as reader helps clean it off.

Maybe reader does use turpentine but doesnt paint at his place just to be considerate, and Matt can never quite decide which evil to choose: breathing in the turpentine constantly, or mouth breathing and tasting it later. And though he’s told them they don’t HAVE to paint away from him for his sake, he can’t help but smile when he can smell faint traces of turpentine under their soap, which tells him that they tried to wash thoroughly before before seeing him, because even if he can deal with it, it’s a sweet gesture.

Maybe reader experiments with acrylics - faster drying and less notoriously pungent? And grumbles about how different they are to work with in comparison to oil. “It dries TOO fast, Matt! I slap it down and I swear it dries up faster than my pussy whenever I have to hear people talk about Picasso!” (Yeah, I’m projecting bwehehe Picasso is somehow not given enough credit by the wider population but also his shittiness as a human being is overlooked). And when Matt tells them that they don’t have to change their preferred medium for the sake of him, they refuse because it’s now a point of PRIDE. He can hear how they grimace when they realise one of their paintbrushes has been ruined from the paint and it’s just. Kind of funny-

Matt ALSO finding it funny when they miss the specks of paint in hard to find areas like near the elbow or neck, and them trying to scrub it out of clothes (“how did it get there!! What the fuck!!”) before a date.

If we branch out a little, I’ve seen combinations of 3D/2D in galleries like Ohata Shintaro? Plus there’s stuff such as sculpture painting, but I don’t know as much about that. And if we veer into SUPER self indulgent territory, I’m a 2D game artist, and I would absolutely simp so hard for Matt that I clean up my rusty 3D skills and do something in there for his benefit and try to get that shit 3D printed, damn the complications that I know are many. Watch me go “NO DONT COME IN YET!! WEAR A MASK” because there’s micro plastics in the air as I desperately sand down the piece I printed 😭

But also like. Imagine artist reader describing things with their artist knowledge, trying to paint Matt a little picture that isn’t just world on fire - using moods and textures to even describe colour sometimes, like Vanessa did at the art gallery. Or even describe how people look. EEK

NONNI— I. FUCKIN. LOVE YOU. I SEE YOU'RE INTO THIS AU AS DEEP AS I AM

so full disclosure, i am an artist, i’ve had a similar experience with oil paints and turpentine at art school and had to wear a face mask because that shit is toxic AND I WAS THINKING ABOUT HOW BADLY IT'D IRRITATE MATT'S NOSE TOO. imagine him coming home from his dd duties and promptly fainting in the kitchen from the fumes. new daredevil villain unlocked: it's you

(fun fact: turpenoid is a wonderful substitute, it’s odorless! or linseed oil, but that has a smell. both are more bearable than turpentine!)

but either way—you're 100% right—oil paints take forever to dry, and matt being the handsy impatient person he is, he'd prob end up being your accidental co-artist........ but wait that would actually be so cute???? an accidental lil fingerprint here, a swipe there, maybe you find a strand of his hair on the paint one day and it makes you smile because you know he's been poking around your workspace while you weren't around, probably curious as to what you were painting this time. you keep every mark he makes, you never cover them up, or you find a way to incorporate them into the painting because you cherish everything matt gives you and there are no such thing as mistakes in art, only happy accidents ;) and that's something both foreign and reassuring to matt, who we all know is so hard on himself and struggles not to see in black and white sometimes.

yes exactly 🥺 for the parts that matt can’t make out—the colors, moods, the gestalt or the meaning of the piece, you describe it to him in detail so he can see through your eyes. and when foggy or karen come over he can hear it from their perspective. maybe it’s what he comes to love about art despite not being able to see it: that it’s a personal experience for each person and the meaning changes with the interpreter.

re: the picasso comment, hold on i’m screaming

re: you being a 2d game artist, wow i WORSHIP you, that is such a cool profession! i can empathize with the difficulties of 3d programs/printing, but you bet i'd be learning maya or blender for matt murdock. RIP.

anyways this is kinda what i was imagining originally with textured paintings! but there are so many artistic mediums and installation types that matt could engage with. i just want him to be happy and cared for and his disability respected so bad 😔

OOP i really got carried away with this ask! thank you for this message—you brought the BIGGEST smile to my face. i'm super passionate about art and matt murdock, and this ask was chefs kiss. ily nonni, and if you ever feel inclined, i’d love to see your work! 💕

tagging @saintmurd0ck since i know she might b working on something hehe

#inbox #matt murdock x reader #matt murdock x artist!reader

[menalez]

Not you digging at me "Uhh well what does she mean uhhh does she like brown hair white peepol?? Blue eyes white peepol??" Like omfg no its just that all my crushes and attractions have happened to be white. Thats it. I have never felt attraction towards black ppl. Sure you aren't saying I have to fuck black people to be non racist but you sure are soo concerned with others not wanting to! You sure are very speculative for some reason! And misframing me saying I said "My Vagina Responds to Whites Only" as if I'm a nazi. Again keep grasping at straws. People not being attracted to black ppl isn't bigotry, yes it does sound rapey of YOU not ALL BLACK PPL because YOU don't speak for all WOC. You keep trying to make me racist or keep trying to bait ME into saying some racist bs which I'm not gonna because I dont think those things. Absolutely WILD that first you said I think woc are males like where is all this coming from?

I wouldve never sent anons if you never made it into such a big deal of some whites not wanting to date brown people. Like sorry YOU PERSONALLY can't handle it. Doesn't make me a racist. It has nothing to do with black features like that other anon said, I just haven't had any attraction. Keep trying to grasp for something here still, though.

damn ur really lying and backtracking at this point! lets just dismantle this one by one. the original anon that got u soooo heated:

notice how from the very first anon i said i would prefer if such a person just never dates woc rather than trying to overcompensate for the racism by dating us, thus harming us in the process?

then here comes ur first anon which Totally wasn't racist:

note how you've backtracked from "ive never been and never will be into poc!" to "well no its just that the people ive been attracted to just happened to be white". then u compared someone saying "only being attracted to white people is probably a sign of racism, but i don't think they should try to date us" to trying to make lesbians date the opposite sex.. as if trying to change lesbians' sexual orientation is the same as saying your preferences, yes preferences NOT sexual orientation, may be rooted in prejudices.

and in ur message here you're showing just how ignorant you are, which ofc you are!, on race to begin with because you think poc means black people and are acting like the world is Literally only black or white, or as if i said anyone needs to date black people despite me saying the exact opposite. and ofc lashing out at a woc, calling me rapey, sending me several anons intentionally misconstruing me for just saying the truth of the matter lol. anyways in the next anon i said AGAIN the exact opposite of what ur claiming:

you claim im calling ppl racist based on their dating history as well when ive outright said otherwise and said theres no point to doing such things:

and i mocked u and said ur vag responds to whites only bc thats LITERALLY what u said

i would say before concerning urself over how ur totally not racist and totally a white ally or w/e else to perhaps go into the basics because youve shown that you're entirely ignorant on racism overall from start to finish. you don't even know the term for "poc women" is woc (women of colour). you don't even know the difference between "internalised racism" and "subconsciously racist", you seemingly don't even know what internalised racism means. you don't even know what poc means because you seem to either believe it only refers to black people, or that there are only two races (black people and white people). you didn't seem to even know of the concept of implicit racism, which is a studied phenomena (feel free to go test it here). you couldn't even manage to compose yourself enough to have a proper discussion, instead you're freaking out and flailing and more or less saying i want to rape white women all bc ur offended over the mere idea that u MIGHT be racist (which honestly, your behaviour in these anons just makes me think u are.)

please remember that i did not personally go up to you and inspect who youve been with or who youve been attracted to and personally tell you that you are a racist. instead, you have come to me repeatedly to lash out at me over me merely stating that someone who says theyre only attracted to white people is probably going to be a racist, decided to argue its the same as people trying to make lesbians date men as if its an innate sexual orientation, called me rapey, and displayed your ignorance repeatedly. you could have approached this entirely differently, it could've been an actually intellectual conversation or you could've just let it go if you can't have proper conversations, but you chose this approach and to continue with it. i know you're not a white ally and you don't need to bother trying to prove it to me, because from start to finish you acted as an authority on a conversation about racism and intentionally twisted my words, misconstrued me, implied i want to force you to have sex with woc, and showed your ignorance.

take a deep breath and perhaps just drop this conversation because you clearly cannot even talk about this normally or in a constructive manner.

[jammyjamster]

Tag game: nine people you'd like to get to know better or something

Thank you so much @italictext for tagging me in this :D i have no one to tag though so i wont be doing that lmfao

No.1 Last Song: the last song i’ve played is actually the song im currently playing on loop; Modestic by Heavenly!! I fucking love this song (and of course it reminds me of LawLight kinda or at least the two of them) I love Heavenly to death and i’ve recently gotten into ‘em since the last month or so :D

No.2 Currently Watching: I’m currently watching videos about Marxism and stuff, really interesting. But if we’re talking about the last video I’ve watched recently, its a Minecraft video from cscoopVEVO called SUNBURN HIGHLANDS, I had it saved in my downloads for a little while and i got to watching it since i was drawing

No.3 Three Ships: Like in Italic’s post, I’ll just name my favourite three ships (not specifically in death note): LawLight, ChEleanor, and Michael x Shawn (HEAR ME THE FUCK OUT!! I’ve said that i liked this before and I got FLAMED—probably for good reason lmfao)

No.4 Favourite Colour: I hate it when people ask me this because I’m okay with basically any colour, but if I have to pick it’d be an undersaturated green or blue

No.5 Currently Consuming: The souls of the sinners

No.6 Favourite Ship: I already said in the previous prompts but my favourite ship is LawLight, not in the ‘they get together’ way but in the ‘Light forever pines for L after his death because of the entire ‘you dont know what you have until its gone’’ typa way. Love that entire ‘I can’t live without you and every day feels as if its torture, i thought that this was what i wanted but im so unhappy and it doesnt make sense to me, and oh god why am i feeling this way this is everything i’ve ever worked for why is this happening what is going on’ toxic as hell but super interesting to watch. What i absolutely HATE is that people immediately assume (at least on tiktok which is a hellhole) that when you ship two characters together, you ship them at the start of the show and its like what??? Are you fucking dumb??? Light and L didnt even meet then and they’d obviously wouldnt have any romantic feelings for each other. In the way i ship it, Light feels the shit that he feels after L’s death—sorry for ranting lmfao

No.7 Relationship Status: I’m single and never going to mingle (interpret that as you will)

No.8 Last Movie: The last movie I’ve watched is The Truman Show, still super underrated and more people need to watch it, one of my top fives

No.9 Currently Working On: I’m currently working on drawing magical girls based off of Madoka Magica, currently I have a tgirl who wished to become a girl n shit and her entire theme is art stuff but goth and an atom (no clue what her wish would be nor her name but she’s pretty cool, i’ll add my current doodles below)

#tag game #lawlight #digital art #death note #the good place

[wuiwuikiui]

what are some of your hottest vsynth takes

hi this is a lot of negative and complainy stuff have fun.

illustrators in the community are absolutely tossed aside.

you dont need to use voice synth programs to be a huge vocal synth fan.

utau isnt hard compared to most vocal synths. all voice synths are hard and have their own learning curve. it's just a matter if you want to learn it.

kikuo isnt unique, like at all. its more like combining 3 different styles (edm, orchestral, and like music box sounds???) into one song and the songs where he doesnt use like all three or more are good but like. i wouldnt call them unique. particularly salty abt this bc there was this one person that would never shut the fuck up about how unique kikuo was when its like... yeah kinda mid.

female utau voicebanks sound bad. i dont know what it is they just sound like dog doo doo a good 70% of the time. male ones almost always pop off- worst case theyre a little flat and plain.

utau and pre vocaloid 5 are better than any ai ever.

ai voicebanks are weird. i get it. theyre really cool and impressive. however, they don't give off what made vocaloid unique back in its day. there's a few ai vbs that are "robotic" (kafu, kevin, uhhh) and theyre honestly the best ais out there. for realistic vocals- best ones are stardust and solaria.

with that being said uncanny > realistic > robotic

i hate vocals that are extremely choppy and robotic like defoko sorry girlboss.

the project diva franchise sucks ass. i dont think this is unpopular, but i literally cant play the pc ver of mega mix bc the audio doesnt work with RAZER HEADPHONES. like the best gaming headphones out there and i have to play it with my headphones unplugged or it sounds like its from splatoon. even the older games are kinda meh, like dont give them rooms and talking man- just let me tap tap button chart.

meiko is actually so mid. im so sorry i dont understand the appeal to her voice. both deep and when its squeaky.

almost all english voicebanks (with exception of a couple of ai vbs) are garbage. and i know its bc the language is harder to replicate blah blah blah phonetics blah.

talkloids are annoying. the only good one is that one of shuu and ruko on miku day that i saw on twitter. funniest shit. you can hear the happiness in their voices.

bring back the cevio colour series.

proseka en was the worst thing to happen to the vocaloid fandom in 10 years.

proseka > project diva

friday night funkin was the worst thing to happen to utau. ever.

9zero is cool as fuck. he sounds like GARBAGE- but oh my god you know what this means- were getting closer to true rock synths.

vocalo changer is lazy. with that being said. i love it. as long as the person that creates content with it acknowledges it as lazy, have fun.

they/them pronouns for any voice synth character is so fucking real. do it more.

creep-ps music slaps so hard. both old and new.

ikus og vb is better than her remaster

dont get mad at p's for moving on in the music industry. voice synths are a hobby. not an industry material.

people that literally interpret the vippers bios are the worst people and need to fall over.

#ruko is a dilf

[magnoliamyrrh]

like truly i find this americans generation insistance on this stupid idea that sex trafficking and talking about trafficking is conspiratorial propaganda so fucking gross and offensive and uncaring. bc its all satanist worshipping baby eating illuminati cults far right propaganda blah blah blah

neverminddd how this shit is offensive to hear as someone whose been through it, nevermind being from the balkans because the western europeans hold the exact same brainrot when it comes to us and our issues. american has a huge trafficking issue. absolutely huge. hell even our romanian women get trafficked to this place. california, south in particular, is one of the top states for trafficking if not the top, so idk what the fuck all these california ppl are running their mouth abt all these years (privilege)

and you know whose most impacted by sex trafficking in america, predictebly? women of colour. indigenous women and girls (high poverty rates in reservations, high rate of depression, alcholism, suicidality etc, racism, skrinking reservations etc. included in this issue the high rates of girls and women going missing and/or being killed on/near reservations), south america women and their children who may be trafficked at any point before they reach america, but also at the american border while they try to cross as some cayotes are sex traffickers (and bc of the poverty many immigrants and undocumented immigrants experience, as well as the lack of cultural knowledge making them even more vulnerable). Black women and girls from what i know are statistically hardest hit by the sex trafficking thing, some studies say at the same level as Indigenous women (40% of total both) because god knows this country hasn't dealt them enough hardship already; here all the same sort of factors are at play as in previous cases. The economically and racially disadvantaged, which live in a system which seeks to keep them down in a million ways and to exploit them continously, are hit hardest. Racial fetishization and degradion from johns and pimps also plays into this. All this is combined with the fact that bc its women and girls of colour, often police and media and society dont want to give a single shit - these cases and issues and this suffering goes unnoticed, unacknowledged, uncarwd for

Here's the thing. if this generation cared, theyd KNOW just how many trafficking cases come to light in california, in america. they would Know that every time they come out, many times many of the girls or women or both are of colour. They would Know that indigenous women are going missing at terrifying rates. they would know that most sex trafficking victims & (child) prostitutes are of colour. theyd know that most times when i see cases of american ex-prostitutes being assaulted or killed, theyre of colour. Many are white american girls as well, who also, big surprise, tend to come from the lower classes, the foster system, homelessness, abusive families, or other disadvantaged and vulnerable positions.

Except despite how damn woke this generation is and how everyone loves to pay lip service to "listen to marginalized women blah blah" "intersectionality blah blah blah" no one wants to give a shit about the whole damn sexual slavery issue this country has. and in fact they want to pretend it barely exists at all, the fabrication of republicans with their pizza gate. or they want to pretend it doesnt exist at all bc you see some well off onlyfans model said sex work is empowering and like most sex workers choose it so like you see like, its all good like, stop shaming sex workers like, stop, like, being so putitanical. jfccc

this. isnt feminism, its not intersectional feminism, its not any sort of feminism. its not any sort of woke or progressive or caring. this. its having the privilege of denying the uncomfortable reality which just so happens to hit societies most marginalized and vulnerable women and girls in one of the most horrifying ways. pretending like its conspirational propaganda is such a gross way to talk about this because outside of the general ignorance, it adds a layer of outright denying the severity of the pain and suffering at hand, on top of the sex work bullshit being pulled. wtf

#the thought of america legalizing sex work like western europe did literally keeps me up at night. it makes me feel insane i find it so #horrifying #everything is going to get so much fucking worse if this braindead generations manages to do it. #thats idk part of the reason why i talk abt this shit in uni and with americans. like i dont care if you want to get pissy with me. i #im terrified of whats gonna happen if we keep rolling down this same fucking hill. ill tell u what - the exact same thing thats been #happening to us since western european states legalized it. aka. severe book in sex slavery. of disadvantaged women #our women are already example enough for fucks sake it would be so horrid to see this shit which frankly can be considered humanitarian #crimes on behalf of the government. replicated here

[almalvo]

STAR TREK: DISCOVERY | S1E6 "Lethe"

[I will react to each episode individually and in full, raw reception and then post as is unrevised here onto my tumblr for the full span of every and all NuTrek episodes and series that have been and will be released. If this falls under your field of interest - I welcome your company in joining me. Enjoy the ride.] -------

oh this city is so pretty vulcan? yah oh pretty ship design they do the environments and ships suich glorious justice in this show lmao shirt that says "disco" on it only trekkies would understand ;) man this will be so interesting to see burnham rise to captaincy also aw i love her smile dang the way the phasers dissolve its targtes aww these horizontal lens flares gets me in the AOS lorca might have been happier were he born a klingon. oh my god this hologram animation was fucking GORGEOUS oh my god i LOVE the detail in the costuems gorgeous i like the overall tone of DISCO - but i think it gets nearer perfected in SNW injection why wow suicide bomber. spock. where are you. so much sarek. ugh the cooking up to it is just ughh oh my god space is gorgeous ugh this intro pleaseeeee

its very simple feeling but also so effective its so classy. sylvia. so brave. these meld sequences are so god burnham is so beautiful is that amanda. i am so confused what in the world what the fuck is happening that was such a weird meld scene mmm i feel like it couldve been cut a little differently imo "humanity's potential" and then she eventually meets spock though right like… oh my god what the HELL HAPPENS???? oh my god i want to take my time with this series but also want to just binge all of it i kinddddd of dont like the cinematographic style in the show

it feels so fast? i feel like we dont get a lot of time to just lets things settle and sink? could just be me but i still feel the pacing is a little odd in this series so far you break your fortune cookies like that lorca? messy. handcracker lorca over here. i love how clear saru's voice is through the prosthetics ok stamets. ok. we get it. we know what you like.

lorca's butt. that is all. this conversation is kind of cute when burnham lorca and stamets are all talking about sending DISCO into a nebulae hahah ugh space travel in humanity. imagine. ugh they did the composite editing so well in this. one thing though i LOVE the colourgrading its so saturated sometimes even overblowing the colours - i aint mad though in this case after many, many, many. episodes of trek that are in that old washed-out film (minus the remasters) - this is absolutely visually DELECTABLE. i feel like DISCO could better use a little bit more steady flatter moments in pacing

the show just never stops feeling so… antsy?? a little too much shakey cam ohhh fascinating that facial accessory in the exact position of hte meld spots since this is all retconned to the prime trek universe, it just makes me wonder how fleshed out a modern TOS would be from all this. at least i mean a "modern TAKE" ofc. ugh the urge to draw more spock in sex;y ass everyday wears on vulcan…. cough cough ok ok sry. ooo this is so odd to see all this happen its a big move to try to retcon such a major character into sarek's life i wonder how burnham's story ends. i mean. i know s5 is in the making j- but honestly where is this all GOing… and how does it relate to future Captain Pike and future First Science Officer Spock… i like lorca's smile. his dead eyes ugh. is this the space sexy time - i dont think i need it like this rn bruh not sure if im into lorca lorca time i cant lie the feeling of this series is kind of off i wonder if its because of the actors' delivery?

or maybe even more specificially sonequa's delivery?? idk why it feels a litttttle off since the first episode she feels like a more fresh actor i meant to say this since the first episode but i just wanted to see HE SAID SPOCK AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA but yeah sonequa (burnham's actor) feels a bit on the fresher side as an actor. not meaning to insult no no. she just feels younger/not as matured yet as an actor theres just soemthing slightlyyy amiss in her acting im not sure ugh these colours interesting bit of lore ugh this calligraphy wow lorca nice one u keep that under ur pillow ok im very intersted to see lorca's lore though hes a strong actor so far as well curious ok i dont like the cut-to-cut style of the filiming in this show its too whiplash fast no time to really breathe but more so no time to really just take in and appreciate the scene, if that makes sense? its almost disorienting i wish it was steadier SNW definitely did not feel like this in its filming style it was steadier, as i think is necessary imo

that was so fast. burnham is grateful to serve under a captain like lorca? where did THAT come from? it feels so sudden?? and feels very un-burnham. ok guys, its odd cuz it almost feels like Seven-of-Nine had more… life than Burnham?? these scenes arent allowed to mature and soak- why?? why do they pace it like t his? it almost feels like im seeing the fact thers a thousand words in this book, but the pages are turning before i can digest its story? its like there are sectillions of water droplets moving together, but yet are somehow not allowed to flow as the river it should be. thats what this show feels like. its so odd. i think its less that there is an "oddness of delivery" from the axtors, but more so the cinematography is just so flighty and impatient. and some is bc of a not-too-terribly-fantastic-screenplay visuals are def the best this show has demonstrated so far to me in its attributes i almost read "United Klingon" as "United Kingdom" lmao Saru and his twiddly fingers ugh i love his face his fucking heels though his heel feet heel stilt feet.

mmm captain battle-happy lorca. ok - well, i think this show so far couldve been filmed a little better - or at least editing direction couldve been different and more lax. if even a tad. its almost frustrating sometimes how WHIPLASH it is. a great example is that lorca x cornwell scene like you can almost acctually SEE shots that are so unnecessarily cut. i dont really like it - the camera-cut editing style takes away from the experience imo. it also makes certain deliveries worse than they are from actors' performances cuz the pacing is so whack sometimes even visually and audially. its still only season 1. ill see.

#star trek #star trek discovery #discovery #DISCO #nutrek #thoughts #text #reaction #almalvo