#actually thinking about doing this for my non sim ocs

[folkbreeze]

character/story influences tag

rules: write up a blurb or make a visual collage of the people or characters (from books, TV shows, movies, etc.) that inspired your story and/or OC, either visually, personality wise, or just a general vibe

tysm @dizzyscabiosa for tagging me in this!! I had so much fun creating these. Now I'm tagging @barbieaiden @warmsol @lilacmaze @forest-void and @wolfavens (feel free to ignore, i just love your sims and would love to know more about them)

I decided to make two moodboards (inspired by this), one for "the past" that i called sulking folks, which is basically the story i thought for Lázaro's past and how he and Ashe met and all that, and one for ending breeze, which is Lazza's life.

I usually get inspired by words/feelings/images rather than media, so... yeah. other stuff under the cut tho:

inspo for both - la cantera (guitarricadelafuente)

SULKING FOLKS - nostalgia / trust / faith / postcards / memories / illness / la lluvia amarilla (Julio Llamazares) / vaca (Federico García Lorca) / quote

the birds were the first creatures to leave this hell. some of us, humans, were too attached to our past selves to even atempt an escape. my sister was brave enough to be a bird, to give us wings.

ENDING BREEZE - old pictures / solitude / exhale inhale (aurora) / yo escucho los cantos (Antonio Machado) / warmth / home / quote

we are what memories made us, we are the stories we heard as kids, we are what our eyes let us see. the world keeps moving. the world keeps moving, blowing breezes, winds and tornados. So hold yourself: even the softest breeze can be the ending breeze.

anyway, there's not much bc i never sat down to write any of it, i just fantasize about it in my head and here i post gameplay which... has little to do with this, but the vibes are there, hopefully

#kinda tempted to do this everytime i come up with new ideas #i enjoyed it so much #actually thinking about doing this for my non sim ocs #tag game #*fin generations extras

[r1ng-w0rm]

LBB! OC BIKER GANG (wip/concept??)

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Alrighty sooooooo I was thinking about one of my og/non fandom ocs- Roach [Roach is a hellracer/nascar racetrack owner within the swag pits of hell. He's also an engineer, but that's not important atm] B- and thinking about his character background got me interested in making a biker gang OC(?) for that awesome sim, Loveless Biker Boys (p.s u should play it <3).

CW/TW: Blood Oaths, uh.. Nascar murder durby? Suffocation/inhaling toxic gasses???

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◂◄Flamin' Biker Boys►▸

▸►Feel the burn! [Background info]◄◂

The Flamin' Biker Boys was a gang originally started by the one and only well known Nascar/Racetrack Murder Derby owner- Verner 'Roach' Hemp: A man who considers his racetrack to be the love of his life.

Though as the years passed, 'Nettie' and Matthias had moved near Roaches racetrack to help Roach manage the murder derby.. Then soon after that two more people joined (who'll be discussed later). Then after seeing the more than exciting beef going between the Loveless Bikers and the Rival Bikers, the group wanted to join in on the supposed violence. Thus the Flamin' Biker Boys were born!

But-.. How'd they come up with that name?.. Well they originally started with Irradiated Biker Boys due to the amount of nuclear waste around the racetrack and because their biker suit colors and uniforms were themed towards being neon green, but soon the radiation had bombarded its way into the derbies underground lounge...and as Roach walked down the concrete slab-like steps to inspect the issue- a sulphuric stench had already knocked it's way into Roaches brain, ridding his current state unconscious.. Though instead of killing him instantly, it mutated each sweat gland and pore within his body to produce a flammable substance- but instead of warning the rest, he was like "come down here so we can set our hair on fire and be cool!!🤓"

I haven't fully thought through the gangs status background so don't judge me(plz).

▸►MORE UNDER THE CUT BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO BLOCK UR FEED◄◂

▸►YES AND NO'S TO BECOMING A MEMBER. AKA WAYS INTO BECOMING AN OFFICIAL MEMBER◄◂

If you're thinking of joining these bad boys, here's a few things you gotta remember!

Be just a tad bit vehicle smart! (Whether you know a tiny bit or a lot)

Be able to withstand extremely high temperatures and violent conditions when you're on the race track.

Don't complain about the smell.

Please glare at the other biker groups to make yourself look cool!!

▸►IF YOU DO MAKE IT IN◄◂

While I will talk more about what'd each biker would do to welcome you in(due to each of them having special abilities to mutate you), Roach would most likely be the one to woo you into mutating to officially be a member. He'd probably lock you into the old irradiated lounge room to see if you'll survive.

If you do survive, Congrats! You got cool inflamed hair(or your pores can release a deadly gas.. There's actually multiple things you could possibly end up getting, I'm just naming the two most common).

If you don't survive, you're either a melted blob of flesh and bloody goop or you're charred to death.

▸►IF YOU DON'T MAKE IT IN◄◂

If you're wanting to go into a No Murder/Gore route: they'd probably just be like "I'm sorry, but go bother someone else"

If you want to go into a more violent route: there's multiple things that could happen- they burn you, you suffocate to death, you're handed over to the Rival Biker Boys uh... So on so forth.

▸►ABOUT THE BELOVED FLAMIN' RACER BOYS◄◂

These drawings are quick design concepts for them + Dante's official design

☣︎Dante-

A 30 year old, 6'4 god complexed man who still believes that Dice and Jeff are the same person disguised as two.

Dante's the supposed charisma of the group.

His flaims range between a multitude of colors, but mostly stay Highlighter yellow.

☣︎Moth-

A 26 year old, 6'6 eye sewn intelligent man whos IQ is above 200.

His name isn't actually Moth, it's Francis. The only reason why he's called Moth is because he called a wasp a moth and everyone absolutely destroyed his ego about it.

Moths flames usually remain teal or sea foam green.

☣︎Verner 'Roach' Hemp and 'NETTIE' Hemp

I put these two together because you guys already know a bit about them BUTTTT-

Two completely opposite brothers who don't actually hate eachother. Roach being 42 years old and 5'6, while 'NETTIE' is 51 and stands at 7'0.

The funny thing about these two is that Roach owns a Hellracing nascar murder derby while Nettie owns a hefty metal welding warehouse that specializes in creating absolutely screwed up violent vehicle parts.

Roaches his hair is more lava/corium-like than it is at being pure fire, but his magma hair is usually a salmon pink color.

'NETTIE' On the other hand can change the color of his inflamed skull. It was originally a pastel yellow, but he usually switches from a toxic green to a midnight purple.

☣︎Matthias *insert whatever*

A 35 year old, 6'4 man who deems himself the better twin between him and Tobias.

He's one of the racetracks 'enthusiastic' speakers/radio hosts. He specializes in making his own hazmat suits!

Matthias likes to keep his flames a classicorange! Totally not because he likes to mock his brain fried brother, but because he thinks orange actually suits him. (It doesn't, personally the rest see Matthias being a rose gold/dead pink kind of guy).

☣︎DOOBIE THE NEWBIE

An 18 year old, 5'9 man who idolizes the loveless biker boys just a bit too much.

Doobie (real name being: Dud) is a guy who originally sparked his stupid, drug-ridden way up to the top alongside his supposed childhood friend Neon, but instantly turned down Neons suggestion/invitation to join the rivals.

Doobie doesn't have any cool flame hair since he's the newbie, but his real hair is an auburn color.

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I plan on writing more for them(like their opinions on others etc)

#lbb oc #loveless biker boys oc #oc biker gang #rbb #rival biker boys #lbb #loveless biker boys #flamin' biker boys (ocs) #Dante (oc) #Francis 'moth' #verner 'roach' hemp #'nettie' #nettie #Matthias *insert whatever* #tobias *insert whatever* #< mentioned #Doobie the newbie #my ocs #uh... fandom ocs

[eachuisge-cc]

Got any opinions on bug and bird anthros?

I've never made any myself (I do have bird people ocs, but it's in a distinctly non-anthro way and it wouldn't be possible to make them in the sims), but I think they're cool and I appreciate the creativity with all the ways artists manage to translate something non-mammalian into a humanoid shape without losing the vibe of the creature.

despite my presence under the furry umbrella because of the nature of my cc, I'm more furry-on-a-technicality because I happen to like cat aliens and werewolves and animal hybrid type fae/mythological creatures. I don't mind more typical furry stuff but it's not actually where my personal interest lies.

if you're asking whether I'll make cc about it, there will probably be minimal bird stuff (one of the planned addons for the digitigrade legs is a tridactyl bird/dinosaur foot, and it will have a feathered overlay as well as a scaled one) but I don't plan on bugs just because doing it properly would be more complicated than it's worth to me.

[theageofsims]

what was your inspiration to create your main oc? (pass the question on)

Oh, so you want to know about William Jones, huh? I apologize for the length, but sometimes there's just no other way.

I consider William my main original character, but he's actually not 'that' original.

He's based off of Harrison Ford's character in "The Age of Adaline". In the movie he 'seems' to be a 'retired' astronomer.

So I kept him as a scientist, but you can't really do much with space in Sims without it turning into something Science Fiction (and about aliens), so I decided I wanted him to stargaze and know about stuff in the galaxy as a hobby, but to work with plants professionally (because I love gardening in the Sims since way back).

I can't think of anything else. I mean, it was a total given that I'd try to make a Harrison Ford character when Sims 4 came out. I had made several of my most favorites of his in Sims 3. I have made several of his in Sims 4, but William is my main one.

There was other angles, too. I'm someone who has written fan fiction since I was literally 9 years old. I've switched what I've written about as far as characters and themes go, but I've never stopped writing (or reading them from others). I've written a number of HF characters in fan fictions, but I can't draw so I never had pictures to go with it. That's where Sims came in in ways it never did for me before.

So it was kind of just enhancing what I'd normally write outside of the Sims -- just with pictures.

Another big thing for me was to put his character in a situation that none of his characters had ever been before. His fandom is very heavily white and it's no surprise considering who he is, where he comes from, his age, and etc -- but the reality is I'm half-black and half-white and I adore his characters/movies. My dad was my black parent and he loved Harrison, too.

I've been a fan of his since 2008 and no matter which fans I met and friends I made, there's been no diversity at all. When I read fics with Indiana Jones or Han Solo or Rick Deckard, there's never been anything with diversity -- and it bothered me. It bothered me from the start, but there was nothing I could do about it except write things my self.

So -- that's a big reason why William is who he is to my blog/story. Harrison has never had a non-white love interest in any of his movies and the man has been acting since the 60s -- long before he became a movie star in 1977 as Han Solo in Star Wars -- and that bothered me.

So while it was Harrison's character in "The Age of Adaline" that inspired me to make a story/gameplay out of it and name my blog after it, it was a whole lot of factors. It was my need and want to see a character of his (made up or loosely based off an actual character of his) be everything William is in my story.

Sometimes I try to think why it was William as I've got a Top Six characters of HF (William was added as number 6) -- but that's what it ended up being. Get to Work came out and I said okay I want to have a Scientist, a Doctor, and a Detective for a gameplay. I could have picked Harrison in "What Lies Beneath" who is a scientist or Indiana Jones -- hell I could have even picked his character in "Random Hearts" who is a detective or Rick Deckard in "Blade Runner. I could have picked Dr. Richard Walker from "Frantic" or his other Richard -- Dr. Richard Kimble in "The Fugitive" -- both medical doctors.

He's been around so long he's been like everything -- sometimes two or three times, hahaha!

Don't know what jumped out at me about William in a major way, but I just ran with it.

Anyway -- don't know who asked this question, but thanks for asking and sorry for being a major dork, but that's the only way I know how to be… (with or without Harrison Ford added to the equation :P).

#asks #this dude william #this dude harrison

[lifeonthemurdersim]

🥑 🔪 🧩 🌿 for the writer ask meme please :3

Thank you 😊

Writer's truth or dare ask meme

🥑- you accidentally killed somebody, which mutual(s) do you text for help?

C'mon, obviously YOU and @cptsadist. I mean technically not text, who texts anymore? But message. Obviously there would be a severe geographical hindrance to either of you physically helping but I'd need the moral support. Plus I feel like both of you would genuinely come up with some creative solutions 😆 Win-win.

🔪- what's the weirdest topic you researched for a writing project?

Oh my god so many 🤣 I'm counting RPs in this bc they are collaborative writing as far as I'm concerned. Here are a few I can think of off the top of my head:

How to perform a relay attack to steal a car.

How dark you can tint your windows in different states.

Lot of shit about Michigan slang and phrasing.

The route from Washington DC to NYC. But like in great detail.

Like practically everything I could find about Lawrence from Gato's old ask tumblr.

So much drug stuff. How to knock someone out for example, and how long one can be unconscious without brain damage. Effects of various recreational drugs too and crucially, how to actually take most of them 😅

What a full-body orgasm feels/looks like for an AMAB person. And stuff like refractory periods and such.

On that note, actually, average distance of ejaculation 🤣 OK that one was for an art piece but it had text so I technically "wrote" it.

"Do Americans say (word/phrase)?" 😅

Less deadly bullet wounds, dangerous but healable bullet wounds etc.

Quite a lot of BDSM stuff.

Stalking people's OCs to write them correctly.

If MI5 are watching me, I'm either a very kinky fucker or a serious threat.

🧩- what will make you click away from a fanfiction immediately?

I'll preface this by saying I don't really read much fanfic, in fact I don't read books either anymore, so the fact I can even write coherently frequently surprises me! I generally have read mostly smutty oneshots in the past which is why I think I'm pretty hypocritical for writing a 300k word fic and expecting people to actually read it(there is a lot of smut though)!

I mean there are a lot of things I wouldn't click on in the first place, underage and incest for example, I'm also very wary of non-con even in the context of murder sim fandoms bc it's hard to know what I'll personally find triggering.

There are writing/layout choices that my brain would struggle with, but I feel like I can't really think of an example? I try to keep an open mind with things like point of view, tense and spelling.

I'm also fairly neutral about most kinks I'm not into and will read stuff if it's recommended to me or I otherwise think I might enjoy it. I have a few nopes but I feel like if I get specific that's being critical of those kinks? When really it's just things that personally don't appeal to me.

Yes I have turn offs. Sorry to shock anyone. 😅

🌿- give some advice on writer's block and low creativity

Possibly controversial. If you're not loving it, don't do it. Go do something else, whether that's switching to a different project, a different media or just going to do something else entirely.

By all means let your friends and/or fans know you'll be taking a break! But for me, I have to be passionately focused on something for it to work.

I do have one other tip though. If we're talking fanfic, weigh up the pros and cons of when to post. If you have more ready, it gives you time to catch up. I managed to get weekly 8k chapters out of my old longfic because I had 60% of the thing written already. I made it through several writer's blocks and only got a little behind. Thay said, there were days when the regular comments were the only thing keeping me going. It's difficult to find a balance. I guess it's a personal thing, but as I say, weigh it up.

#i think mailing parts to two different states isn't a bad way to dispose of a body tbf #ask meme #thank you for the asks/enablage 😅

[ryosei-hime]

I got tagged by @ernmark​

RULES: post the names of the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them, and then post a little snippet or tell them something about it! tag as many people as you have WIPs.

(yeah I’m not doing that. I don’t even know that many people on tumblr. see it, feel free to consider yourself tagged.)

Strap yourselves in. I have so many wips because I keep starting things and not finishing them because of writer’s block. All Helluva Boss unless stated otherwise. 

Fics I stopped after their last chapters first then individual documents.

Love and Loathing - Fizz learns self love through a Robo Fizz (Fizz x Ozzie x Robo Fizz)

Raising Hell - Loona x Sallie May

Murder of Mirth - a Stolitz AU I did a lot of research for to set it in the 1700s-ish but then never followed up on.

Stolitz AU - Hellhound Discussion - a short bit from Murder of Mirth

Crim x Reader - Pretty self explanatory.

Epilogue Chapter 13 - The second to last chapter to my longfic Sex and Therapy. I don’t tend to name them til they’re done.

Body Language of Abuse - A script for a video I had intended to make on the last episode but got too scared to post because I’m not a youtuber lol.

Epilogue Scraps - scraps from or for various chapters in Sex and Therapy. I actually have four or five of these, numbered appropriately.

Wedding Episode Scraps - bits and pieces of the final chapter of Sex and Therapy not yet put into a cohesive whole.

Road Trip - Lannah and Cog’s road trip to Greed to get a replacement part for Fizz in Sex and Therapy.

Robo Fizz x Everyone - a list of ships and synopses for a one shot project I’d like to do where I ship Robo Fizz with everyone.

Robo x Woobly - the first in that series.

Striker x Robo Fizz - the second in that series

Robo Fizz vs Wally Wackford - a fun idea for a pitch that didn’t end up happening when working on One Helluva Zine

Blitz and Loona Anniversary - Blitz trying too hard to celebrate the anniversary of adopting Loona

Untitled - started after episode 7, Loona finding Blitz when she comes home from her party at Tex’s

Striker x Stella: Cleans Up Good - Stella needs Striker to act as a body guard at a fancy event

Prompts - Angel x Blitz - a request from twitter that I started but didn’t finish.

Prompts - Lilith x Stella - Same

Fitzo Purring - posted what I had during Fitzo week but never finished it

Real or Not, People Love Me - was supposed to be a look at Robo Fizz and real Fizz experiencing what it’s like to be fake in two very different ways

Fizz Dating Sim - A Robo Fizz dating sim I started writing a million years ago that I’ve been thinking of going back to and adding a real Fizz option for.

Fizzarolli x Reader x Robo Fizz - this one’s been sitting undone a loooong time

Stage Sex - another Fizz x Reader that I started and never finished.

Biggest Fan - A degradation smut piece involving Fizz’s creepy fan from episode 7 that I had legitimately forgotten about

Fizzmodeus: Robo Fizz Origins - an idea I had for a fizzmodeus fic set during the time the Robo Fizzes were being conceived and built.

Fizzmodeus Museum Date - Fizz takes Ozzie to a children’s interactive science museum for a date, shenanigans ensue.

Baking - Fizz bakes Ozzie a Valentine’s surprise but it gets ruined

Fizz x Ozzie - Beauty and the Beast - An AU I started working on but stopped, inspired by art by pyronormal on twitter.

Krem - Fizzarozzie - Something I was writing for @/kremlin_art on twitter :P

Laugh, Laugh, Cry Chapter 3 - Continuation of a short chapter fic I had planned with Robo Fizz x Angel Dust

Unhealthy Obsession Chapter 12 - My Robo Fizz OC Ransom spending some time infiltrating Ozzie’s and Fizz’s

Ozzie and DumDum - a very short late birthday present for @/the_ratbus on twitter featuring DumDum (a robo fizz oc) being genuinely nice to Ozzie when he’s usually a rat bastard.

Mansplaining - Ransom asking Mammon lots of questions that he totally knows the answers to

Ransom vs Robo Con - Ransom is a guest speaker at a Robo Fizz convention. It all goes terribly wrong.

Greed - Angsty look at Mammon in Unhealthy Obsession, set soon after Fizz breaks up with him.

Hickies - Ransom learns what hickies are and wants them despite it being impossible for him to get them.

Dancing Lessons - Mammon teaches Ransom to dance

Kisses Experiment 2 - Ransom x Mammon. Ransom getting kisses all over

First Time - Ransom x Mammon. Not the first time they have sex but the first time Ransom has a certain reaction during lol.

Stolen Kiss - Ransom steals a kiss and Mammon “punishes” him for such impudence.

Sword and Shield Scraps - bits and pieces of writing ahead with my Hazbin OC story.

Scavenger and Val - A specific encounter between Valentino and my OC Scavenger in Sword and Shield.

Jo vs Scavenger - a fun fight scene I needed to practice because of some interesting mechanics between these two OCs.

#myfanfics #stuffididmyself

[lyra-brie]

Intro Post

(Every few days I remember something I forgot or have new links to add lol it's constantly changing a little bit)

So I go by Lyra (or Library lol) and I use she/her pronouns. That's all I can think of to put here lol.

I'm a reader and a writer. I love romantic fantasy in both, but I'll read almost anything. Not really into horror, but I've dabbled in most other genres when it comes to reading, all the way to non-fiction. I'm always accepting new recs even though I have a ridiculous tbr and wishlist lol.

Always happy to talk about books with anyone, but be wary of that once you get me started I won't ever stop annoying you about it lol.

Some of my favorites right now are:

The Folk of the Air trilogy [the cruel prince, etc]

The Grishaverse books [my favorite is either Crooked Kingdom or Rule of Wolves]

Once Upon a Broken Heart series (as of Oct 15. I'm hyperfixating on this one, so you're getting a lot of fandom content for them)

I have ADHD (if you couldn't tell from my overuse of parenthesis and brackets [every thought comes with a bonus thought and sometimes an extra bonus thought like this!]). I'm a Christian with more progressive theology, but this blog is a safe place for everyone as long as we're all loving to each other and respect each other's beliefs and identities (and I love having good faith dialogue [not debates!! 0 interest in theological debates.], I love hearing other perspectives and getting to talk about it, so feel free to dm me about that, too). I'm an ISFJ and a 9w1, and I don't know that much about it yet but I love typology. I also love video games, mostly Stardew Valley and the sims right now (thinking about making a secondary blog for that).

I post fandom stuff and writing things for my wips. You'll probably get lots of stuff for my wip Idk, Dragons ocs once NaNo starts. And just random stuff for whatever I'm hyperfixating on in the moment lol. I'm totally open to asks about anything involving my wips or fandom-related asks. I participate in Storyteller Saturday and Worldbuilding Wednesday every week, and feel free to ask for any of the other events, too. Tag games are also cool!

I also have an instagram @lyra.brie and you'll find a couple pics of my crocheted dinosaurs, some random faith thoughts, and song. I'm very inactive there, but feel free to check it out.

And now the fun part!! Intros to my wips and ocs:

Wisteria and Wanderlust: you can find the blurb here, as well as the link to my wattpad which has a few snippets and skits and full character intros. An overview of Zal and Clay's dynamic here.

Short overviews of the original three here.

Unnamed Academic Rivals WIP: here is a sort of summary I wrote.

I Don't Know, Dragons [this is a placeholder title, but I might just keep it lol]: this post isn't exactly a blurb, but it's everything I know so far that I can share without spoiling. (I actually need to update it and make a real post for it soon lol. The main development is that Elara's love interest is a werewolf boy.) This one is still in the planning stage so everything is heavily subject to change. I'll be doing it as my NaNo project this year, so it's posted about a lot right now. New Cynthia post here.

The Flourescent Iguana: here's the intro post. I've finished the first draft of this one, but it needs heavy replotting/rewriting.

Writing Snippets

I only have two actual writing bits on here so far, but I intend to have more, so I'll update this as I go! (Let me know if you guys want me to post the Wisteria and Wanderlust stuff I have on wattpad here, too, cuz I can totally do that.)

Idk, Dragons:

I have a bunch of small snippets posted under #nano updates

Fanfics:

EvaJacks "Who Are You?" FanFic

EvaJacks Bunny Saving FanFic

EvaJacks Baby Dragon FanFic

Wisteria and Wanderlust:

Just a quote

Poetry/Songs:

Just Broken

~~~

So that's me! I'm always happy to make new friends and my dms are open, feel free to message me just to ramble about your wip or a hyperfixation!

@writeblrsupport

#blog intro #introducing myself #writeblr #writer #writerscommunity

[beebthatscreams]

You know how I said I had like more for my funny OC based on @altocat’s headcanons? (If you would like to not be @ ed for more of this please tell me I just know you said if we make stuff off of yours you wanna see) Here’s more!

I have a habit of building ocs for videogames with gameplay and how the player interacts with them in mind. Breaks universe emersion? Yes. Do I enjoy it? Yes :) and I wanna keep developing this character so if anyone wants to like yell about Eden with me in dms or asks if you’re shy 👀 I must scream. I was unsure to go for remake continuity or OG continuity so confusion.

CC

Eden, in contrast to what everyone thinks, is not resentful of Sephiroth and actually tries to seek out getting along with him. He however has lot of issues with her (most reasonable some not), that accounts for the dislike between them most think is mutual.

Her brother is important to her and is the only person she feels will care about her without ulterior motives. After her injury it became obvious that in Shinra your treatment is equal to your usefulness. Sephiroth, and to a small extent the other first, is the only person she trusts not to have that mentality. Conversely she’s more than guilty of this. Being friendly and highly personable are little more than a persona and she has very little connections deeper than acquaintances save for those she needs to be close to to be deemed important enough to keep. Her character revolves around meeting the conditions of conditional love. Her frazzled hair and noticeable dark rings under her eyes lend to how hard she pushes herself.

Zack (as the player) has the option to do side quest revolving given by Eden when she’s present in the Soldier floor. A series of 4 typical battle sims followed by Eden asking a small series of questions at the end. Certain answers will trigger different but mostly non-important dialogue changes. You’ll receive an odd materia thats unlabeled as a final reward. Upon testing its a high risk high reward spell of a 2% chance for a 1 shot in exchange for 99% of your health. The health is not taken if the 1 shot doesn’t hit but time and mp is still wasted.

You’ll receive only two emails from Eden and one about her. The silver elite makes mention in one of their emails that they wonder if they’ll ever hear about her again or if she’s gone from SOLDIER for good after their usual Sephiroth based news. One email you receive from her is just a bit of world building about materia fusion and that if he needs any help or wants to try anything strange to talk to her before accidently breaking something. The other email is at the beginning of the Nibelheim mission that only states: “Could you keep an eye on my brother? He won’t talk to me. Tell him I’m sorry for what I said before he left.”. You never get the chance

FF7 (remake)

While the death of Sephiroth has turned Hojo from at least appearing put together to dishevelled and probably twice as crazy Eden as a stark contrast looks more well put together than the last time you saw her in CC with a noticeable change in design.

The once tired eyes, messy hair, and grey clothing under the lab coat, is replaced with a bright demeanor, tight high ponytail and bright pink blouse.

The first time you hear of her is Chadly passively mentioning that his data goes to the materia specialist but “She seems to dislike me for some reason. I wonder if my research isn’t satisfactory.”

Later when Aerith is captured outside the meeting of board directors you can hear her muttering about how Hojo is so obsessive with his personal experiments she handles nearly all actual leadership duties within the department, they might as well just have her take his place already.

This sentiment is furthered by her short conversation with Aerith that happens after the combat with the experiment in which she says: “Hojo won’t be a problem, I won’t let anything too awful happen to you sweetheart”, and nods to often undermining his commands, but its unclear if she actually has the power for her promise. She mentions remembering Aerith's files but feeling like they had met sometime before. Though the conversation doesn't go further as the rest of the party arrives. Avoidant of combat, she lets them take Aerith without a fight. The team suspicious of this press a couple questions she technically answers before they decide that chasing down Hojo is more important. Her behaviour towards most of the party members is strangely casual and she refers to Aerith and Tifa by sweetheart and honey respectively, giving the group a coy wave as they leave and telling them to not kill Hojo but she doesn’t care about his condition past that. Cloud looks back before they fully leave making eye contact but quickly keeps going as the tinnitus commonly related to the illusions of Sephiroth starts. It’s unclear exactly why.

She is not seen again but Red XIII when asked about why she would let them go says: “Miss Eden is just another one of Hojo’s experiments. But she thinks somehow, they stand on equal footing and she won’t face consequences.” This is the first time she is referred to by name in this ‘game’.

#sephiroph #ff7 oc #ff oc #beebscreams about oc

[420tiddiez]

Who would each of your characters main in League of Legends?

Now THIS is a fun question, especially considering how often I’ve turned to League for inspiration in my OCs.

Bellinor would without a doubt main Evelynn, not only does she SEVERELY vibe with the character, but the playstyle would be very exciting for her. Bellinor once HAD to hunt for her food in a forest and playing Evelynn jungle would simulate that excitement for her without the dangers or stress of actually hunting. I imagine she wouldn’t be much for video games in the first place so taking up this role and champion would make her go “oh hey wait maybe this is fun”.

Coprini was actually slightly inspired by Vex, but I think considering that she is (at least right now) a trickery cleric, I think it’d be Neeko! Maybe back and forth between Neeko and Vex…. She would enjoy utility mages because they can make funny and tricksy plays that delight her. Coprini might not always get kills or do her best, but she would have fun no matter what.

I’nayah would play any marksman class, she’s my Bard in FFXIV so shooty-shoot damage dealers are her thing. I imagine she’d probably be that very cocky and confident ADC who is immediately humbled by getting her ass kicked. She’ll get a pentakill… but die horribly in the process.

Jasper is a Fiora main, the kind that is terrifying good. Jasper deals with a lot of anxieties despite her finesse in many skills, so hyper focusing on the role of Fiora in a game would be perfect for her. As a rogue she’s an expert in tactical situations AND killing, aside from the fact she’s mostly a detective. I can just see her being that top laner that carries you without uttering a single word in chat because she was concentrating too hard, then says something really sweet in the end-game lobby and you’re just like “that 20-some kill Fiora who stomped us just wished me a good rest of my day, wtf”. You THINK she’s gonna be toxic but no she’s just happy to be here

Orona DEFINITELY mains support roles, tanks or healers, you name it. Specifically though, she would main Leona. And you wanna know why? I LITERALLY conceptualized Orona through the lunar eclipse Leona skin. Go ahead, look, they even have the same damn hairstyle. Anyways, her versatility and survivability would really appeal to Orona and I could see her being amazing when it comes to support roles and teamwork. That said…… I’m actually not sure if Orona would be GOOD at video games? Orona would probably only play exciting games with her close friends, whereas in her spare time she’d play SUUUPER chill games, simulators and farming games, things like The Wandering Village and The Sims. Probably also Stardew Valley but I could see it taking her a LONG time to get used to the combat and difficulty hike.

Vestas would main Lillia I think, the exciting pace and way she can rack up kills would be super fun for her. Also the themes of Lillia fit very well with what I’m trying to do for Vestas’ non-Homestuck iteration which I’m currently working on!

Ziva… is Vi, like, I 100% took inspiration for Ziva from Vi and Braum and a few others. Since Ziva was meant to be a VERY throwaway one-shot character, her inspirations were very obvious. I’ve tried to make her a bit more unique since then, seeing as I totally fell head over heels in love with her. Ziva would main Vi but could probably get away with just about any brusier champion, she’d love League and would probably carry REALLY hard. I could see her getting a bit overconfident near the end though, making mistakes that might lead to losing the game. She’s good, but she’s not perfect.

#OC Asks #Bellinor #Coprini #I'nayah #Orona #Vestas #Ziva #Jasper

[forabeatofadrum]

🌈💝🍭

🌈is there a fic that you worked *really fucking hard on* that no one would ever know? maybe a scene/theme you struggled with?

See here!

I mean, I'd like to think I work hard on all my stuff, not only Call Me Maybe, but I also feel appreciated, ya know? I don't think people don't notice, apart from what I mentioned about Call Me Maybe.

💝what is a fic that got a different response than you were expecting?

Probably Ebb & Flow. As the host of the 321 Prompt Bang you've probably seen my many, many breakdowns over that fic. And as a result, once it was out in the world, I had a "thank fuck it's over" moment and because I may or may not have projected my insecure feelings on that, I was shook that people actually liked it. I mean, Beth, you know that this fic was weird for me, and you know that I also kind of hate to bash it, since I wasn't the only one who made it. You were the original prompter! But as usual, I wanna reiterate that I love your prompt and I love Judas's art, but man the writing. But yeah, I also say that Ebb & Flow also shows how much positive feedback like comments and kudos work. I always say that the fandom really lifted this one up for me. Heck, I actually reread parts of it yesterday and I had an another "you know what, this is fine" moment. It will probably never be my favourite fic and a part of me will always go "ah, yes, that happened, huh?", but it has some good stuff and I'm glad people showed me that.

(On a smaller tangent, I do get a lot of joy when I play Splatoon 3 and I keep thinking about the Ebb & Flow world while doing so. The other day I got absolutely KO'd by a Lunar Blaster and all I could think of was "alright, okay, this is why I let Blaine main that one".)

🍭why did you start writing?

Fic writing? "Officially" around 2013. Cory was still alive. Weird to say, I know, but that's how I remember it was 2013. I wrote all of Just The Way You Look Tonight in one day on a campsite during summer. But even before that I technically wrote fic without knowing what fic was. I once rewrote all of Harry Potter from Ginny's POV. I borrowed all the books from the library so that I could match it perfectly. That's fanfiction. And before that, I always had so many ideas for Winx Club stories in my head.

And I now see that I misread the question. I thought it said "when did you start writing" BUT ANYWAY this answer still sort of tracks: I just loved playing around with other people's characters and worlds. I wanted to expand on it. My mind was filled with all of the things I wanted to see. I did write original stuff when I was a kid. I probably still have a notebook with my original stuff somewhere, because I am oldschool and grew up in the 2000s and wrote everything on paper. And same can be said here. These characters were my own, but I just liked having a creative outlet. I love making stories, even for non-writing. Look at my good ole 10 generation long family on the Sims 4. Or now with Stardew Valley, I get so lost in making a farmer OC (Lune and Abby just got a second child and I am over the moon!) up to the point that I want to buy another copy of this game so that I can make 5 more!

#ask #quizasvivamos

[notknickers]

i think i might have unlocked my first crackship... könig x nikola orsinov

hear me out, before judging...

synopsis: breekon and hope were tasked with capturing the archivist and bring him to the great yarmouth house of wax for skin harvesting. somehow, they show up with a masked mountain of muscles, instead of johnathan sims.

tags/warnings: crackfic, crackship, tma/mwii crossover, nikola orsinov/könig, top!nikola/bottom!könig, agalmatophilia, kidnapping, clothed!nikola/naked!könig, noncon, handjob, fondling, forced orgasm, forced exhibitionism/voyeurism, anal fingering/fisting, crying

audiences: strictly adult

word count: 2278

a/n: baby’s first crackfic. contains cringe. embrace it or leave.

(in case it wasn’t clear, könig is sexually assaulted in this one. i had something more light-hearted in mind, but this is perfectly within the wheelhouse of what nikola would do. how do I know it? they already did it in canon to the archivist, or such is the consensus amongst listeners. also, putting my favourite blorbos in… situations… is my favourite pastime. go read my fic with my d&d ocs in it, if ye doubt me words: I have mercy for no one.)

tagging: @eyerotyourbrain @kathy-ifnt

even with that unsettling grin painted on their face, it is not difficult to tell how furious nikola orsinov is. not for their minions, at least, who can easily tell that the breezy tone with which they address the two deliverymen should not distract from the actual words.

an honest case of mistaken identity, one of the heads of the entity had the gall to say in that overwrought, unbearably fake accent! there might as well be smoke pouring out of the mannequin’s head barely-hinted ears.

«ֆǟɮօȶǟɢɛ!», they fume, unconvinced of their own accusation, yet too much in the throes of their whimsical farce to let it go.

several threats fly out of their mouth, out of sync with the movements of their mechanical chin, like a poorly animated cartoon. it is unclear how many will be carried through and not because nikola doesn’t have it in them to deliver exemplary punishments. it is simply that their hollow head is so full of ideas their non-existent brain keeps firing at the poor wood-and-plastic construct and breakneck speed, that keeping up with all of them and managing to make them a reality is a challenge of its own.

and now that the unknowing looms so close… it’s even harder to collect all of their thoughts and keep them coherent.

nevertheless, everyone is sure nikola has given the inseparable duo a lot to think about, and in the only way the sadistic clown knows how. for now, they are exiled for a while from the worst wax museum great britain has to offer, leaving them to their deliveries until they are invited back.

which, of course, is to say, until the day they show up again and are once more reprimanded by a very forgetful – yet no less incensed and shouty – nikola, who will no doubt bemoan their absence at such a crucial moment for their kind.

best use that time to mind what packages they have left in their van, to make sure everything proceeds smoothly… or they might as well not come back at all.

their leaving gives nikola time to finally study their unexpected catch.

the... creature – a human… man… nikola is fairly sure, but will probably consult the anatomy students about it – was difficult to contain when breekon and hope carried him in and he broke free of them… he cost nikola a few of their puppets until they personally intervened.

a thought crosses nikola's mind. could this stranger be a kin soul? with his mask, concealing his identity and the covering clothing leading to think his skin must be immaculate from sun damage and other blemishes...

perhaps this was a blessing in disguise, after all. the unknowing is nigh, and this one has skin for days.

if they make meticulous use of it, niokla might even get a pretty dress out of what is left of him, something nice to wear while dancing the world anew. alas, parsimony is not one of the virtues nikola is known for. (in fact, it is accurate to say they aren’t known for any virtues at all.)

the cruel ringmaster unnaturally bends at the waist, like they had no spine – a fact that is starting to dawn on könig himself – their grotesque face mere centimetres away from the colonel’s.

they regard each other, the murder in könig's eyes reflecting nikola's amused painted dots of pupils, as he strains against the disembodied hands that restrain him, their texture like poorly moulded plastic that kept all its scratchy imperfections.

he growls at the mannequin, when nikola tries to take a gander under his hood.

«ԋσɯ ԋҽ Ⴆαɾƙʂ, ƚԋҽ ʂυႦԃυҽԃ ʂƙιɳ ɾҽƈҽρƚαƈʅҽ!», nikola lets out a high-pitched, discordant sound that would have had könig’s ears bleed, had it not been mercifully short. the mockery of laughter, he concludes wordlessly.

«ɦօաɛʋɛʀ! ɦօա ɨʍքօʟɨȶɛ օʄ ʍɛ, ȶօ ֆɦօա ռօ ʀɛֆքɛƈȶ ʄօʀ ǟ ʍǟռ’ֆ ֆɛƈʀɛȶֆ! ʟɨӄɛ ȶɦǟȶ ǟաʄʊʟ e͓̽y͓̽e͓̽ ǟʟաǟʏֆ ȶʀʏɨռɢ ȶօ k͓̽n͓̽o͓̽w͓̽ ʊֆ!», the pout, whilst invisible on their face, surely audible in their voice.

they do not try again, wondering if the ruined flesh of his lower face they managed to glimpse suggests a run in with the desolation. they will have to don megan's clothes and ask jude, as soon as they have a chance to do so…

but with this new conquest in their lacquered acrylic nails, they are in hardly any hurry to find out. if this one belonged to the desolation, dear jude and her ilk should have done a better job not letting him escape their fiery grasp.

at the moment, they focus their attention on the human's clothing: a soldier?

nikola’s varnish eyebrows move for the first time, at least, as far as könig can tell. they take on the perfectly symmetric shape of a very sharp arc. a frown. a very emphatic one.

nikola was not yet created when the slaughter meddled in von kempelen’s attempt at channelling the stranger into this world, yet they know all about it and in a fit of pique, they use their claws to tear through könig’s uniform, as if effacing the symbol of his potential allegiance could erase the past, until he sits bound, in revealing tatters and vulnerable, his chest, thighs and arms marked by shallow scratches.

more scars and burnt tissue surround the consequences of nikola’s ire, littering the rest of him.

the lotion will have to come out all the same to see if he can be moisturised and smoothened to nikola's likings and a sinister, blank grin thickens on the mannequin’s expressionless countenance.

a little doll hand does their bidding unprompted, rolling at the wrist joint on the floor tiles as the cupped fingers cage the bottle of moisturiser.

könig thrashes about, but the disembodied hands that fetter him only dig in his body more, unmovable in their intent.

«σԋ! αɳ ҽαɠҽɾ σɳҽ!», nikola exclaims in genuine elation, increasingly convinced that this man’s presence might really be a propitious omen for the upcoming ritual.

the ringmaster snatches the bottle up from the floor, the little doll hand clinging to it for dear life until it drops, scuffling on the tiles and spidering away on shaky fingers, while nikola barely notices, intent as they are in savouring what’s to come.

the unscrewed stopper tumbles down, bouncing for a few tiles like a rock skipping on a pond’s surface, then drawing a tightly curving trajectory, the sound of it careening from its side to its back still echoing as the first coat of cream moistens könig’s left shoulder.

nikola does not outwardly react to the colonel wincing at their touch, but they can sense this meal is about to turn into a feast.

hands like sandpaper stroke könig’s skin, finding every nook and cranny on his body and paying particular attention to the debris of past scars and burns and any other relief the puppet mistakenly takes for another blemish.

the insistence on some spots more than others is not lost on könig, and when another wooden finger brushes one of his nipples for one time too many in a row, he is left to wonder whether the grotesque, impossible figure holding him captive might know more of what they are doing than they pretend.

an excited squeal vibrates out of the ringmaster as the red, fleshy nub pebbles under their pads.

«ҽʋҽɾყσɳҽ! ʂσɱҽƚԋιɳɠ ιʂ ԋαρρҽɳιɳɠ!»

a hideous sound clacks through the high-ceiling halls as countless necks and joints snap towards könig at their master’s command. eyeless slits, googly eyes and faces covered in misshapen, melted wax, even things that are not faces at all, stare vacuously at him in unsettling unison.

könig never felt more exposed in his life than he does now, under the severe gazes of objects and constructs that should have no business being capable to see him, let alone move and obey orders.

nikola’s fingertips walking down the rounded steps of könig’s abdominal stair have the soldier tense up, barely relaxing when they deviate towards the powerful quadricep of his right thigh, slathering the remains of his torn uniform in more lotion as they spread it on his muscles, leaving few tatters to pathetically stick to könig’s body without protecting it in the least.

not from sight. not from contact.

his jaws grind so tightly at each unpredictable touch, that könig is sure he is chipping away at the enamel of his teeth. yet, every attempts at breaking free and fighting back is countered before he has time to enact it fully, leaving him to endure the mannequin’s whims.

he flinches when more unknown hands caress him from behind, not knowing who they belong to, yet feeling deep inside that if he could turn around and see them, he would find no owner to them.

the process drags on, far longer than necessary, as more empty lotion bottles pile at his slippery feet and calves, but the ringmaster seems nowhere near being done. könig dreads what will happen next, as the constant stroking and kneading of his whole body is bringing with itself predictable effects he was hoping wouldn’t manifest.

his hope is vain, however, as often is the case for such a fleeting feeling before it is crushed by reality. his body betrays könig when it last should, as he senses his cock begin to throb to hardness. unfortunately for him, the mannequin notices and they are swift to let all know, in turn.

«օɦ?! աɦǟȶ… աɨʟʟ ʏօʊ ʟօօӄ ǟȶ ȶɦǟȶ! ֆօ ʄʊʟʟ օʄ ֆʊʀքʀɨֆɛֆ!!!», nikola huffs out excitedly as they stare könig between his thighs.

a moment later, their firm, unnatural hands are taking hold of könig’s length as it swells in their palm under an eyeless brow raised high in wonder. a set of their fingers snap and some of the many hands tasked with immobilising könig roughly grab his mighty thighs and spread them wide, lifting them enough under the knees to give every wax statue, skin-thief and automaton a view of his sex and the blond fuzz contouring his sack, leading below, down to the ring of fluff around his puckered entrance.

helpless. spread wide. defenceless.

nikola’s hands wrap around his girth in appraisal, with conviction and curiosity manifesting in their firm, confident grip. könig’s eyes shut in denial as further words of bewilderment concerning the changes of his body spill out unendingly from the mannequin’s screwed-on mouth.

he can hear them question him about it. the least he can do to save his deeply wounded pride is ignore them, even when the vile anthropomorphic puppet takes his refusal as a chance to double their inquiries, instead of resigning to silence.

neither does their interest in könig’s heavy and very receptive organ wane, as their haphazard kneading turns to focussed stroking with both of their hands. soon, more ofthose creatures join at their request, vying with each other for a spot on his cock and, failing that, settling for every inch of skin around it.

slick yet harsh disembodied hands cup and pinch his balls, stroke and slap his guiche and fingers probe in between his cheeks, finding warm, furrowed flesh to part agape and mindlessly invade, without even really knowing what they are doing, in all likelihood.

the position he is forced into cuts the breath in his chest and könig endures the torment which, under different circumstances, he would have relished tenfold. dizzy and overwhelmed, it takes the colonel a while to realise that the ragged breaths turning to shameful little gasps are coming from him, traitorous body striking once again.

when he does, his eyes flood wet and tears hotter than the boiling core of the earth melt down his flushed cheeks, scorching a trail on his skin as much as shame burns in his chest. they bring no relief, shimmering dully under k↕nig’s hood and drenching the mask underneath in hard-to-ignore, wet reminder.

his choked sobs escape the feeble cage of his trembling lips as a despised heat wrenches his gut. the friction on his cock, rhythmic and relentless, the pressure to his inner walls from fingers insinuated down to the wrist joint, stabbing and scissoring his insides through his opening worked to a gape and kneading the strip of flesh below his sack are nothing short of torture.

part of him wishes the slick lotion weren’t working so well against him. perhaps pain and discomfort would have been preferable to this last, unbearable betrayal, as his hips unchain from his iron control and jolt repeatedly into and around the floating hands that carry out the tremendous violation, one könig loathed even when he tried to accept its inevitability.

nikola’s ecstatic expression is all he sees through eyelids kept ajar, as white showers the cobalt and golden cuffs of their jacket’s sleeves in copious, unstoppable waves, eliciting a triumphant yet incredulous peal from sealed, drawn-on lips.

they take a moment to examine the unexpected but welcome discharge. musing over the fact they did not know humans made their own lotion, as they pensively stare at the emptied bottles they threw on the floor.

«ēຖ໐นງh f໐r t໐໓คฯ, ๖นt ຖ໐t f໐r t໐๓໐rr໐ຟ!», nikola announces cheerfully, eager to discover what else human bodies can do.

they begin to retreat, the misshapen acolytes following suit at another snap of their clacking fingers. könig is left alone, save for his animated restraints.

damp with sweat, sticky with moisturising balm and drained of sense, energy and dignity, könig slacks on the chair in the dark, chest still pumping air in and out of him quickly and cock twitching to softness as his aching hole leaks cream on his seat.

this will be a tough one to get out of.

the tma/mwii crossover nobody asked for.

thanks for reading. hope you enjoyed: let me know ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

#the magnus archives #tma #tma entities #the stranger #nikola orsinov #tma fanfic #tma/cod crossover #tma/mwii crossover #call of duty #cod #cod mwii #cod mw2 #cod fanfic #könig #konig #crack fic #crackship #crack ship #nikönig #könikola #nikola orsinov/könig #tw noncon #cw noncon #monsterfucking #terato #terato smut #monster x human #agalmatophilia

[vailimia]

I know it hasn't been that long since my last rambling post, but I'm making another one.

This one is primarily focused on OCs of mine who aren't canon, meaning they don't exist within my OC multiverse, and my canon OCs won't ever canonically meet them.

First off, although I call my OC multiverse a multiverse, the multiverse theory isn't actually true there (there are other worlds, just not an infinite amount of them).

Most of my non-canon OCs are Soulcalibur VI meme characters or Terraria players I only used once or twice.

I have other non-canon OCs, like the characters from Hatena Quest (back when Flipnote Hatena was still a thing), or Armor and A-Sim (custom players I'm working on in Nuclear Throne Together).

Most of my non-canon OCs don't have very fleshed out personalities or backstories, with Armor and A-Sim being the only exceptions I can think of.

Most of my Soulcalibur VI characters are just remakes of other characters from elsewhere, but I have a few of my own characters in there who weren't meant to be anything but characters to play as in Soulcalibur VI.

Demon Lawyer (Soulcalibur OC) is just a demon who practices law.

Shade (Terraria OC) wears necro armor (+ ancient necro helmet), uses bows, and builds with copper bricks, but doesn't have a personality or backstory beyond that.

Spark (from Hatena Quest) is a cyberspace dweller who likes pressing buttons (he only appears in one or two chapters so I don't have a lot to go off of).

Spark is probably also the only OC I have who's actually unconfirmed, meaning that whether he exists in my OC multiverse hasn't been decided yet.

Armor (Nuclear Throne OC) probably has the most fleshed out personality and backstory of all my non-canon OCs (and out of the two NTT characters I'm working on, she's closer to being finished), although the only thing I'll reveal about her now (apart from her gender) is that "Armor likes to collect things", which you'd also be able to tell from one of her loading screen tips.

Going back to canon OCs for a bit, I also have an OC named Sparky, who is not to be confused with Spark (the two are completely unrelated).

I'm okay with revealing information about my non-canon OCs since, while I don't have a lot of information, I don't take my non-canon OCs nearly as seriously and what little information I have isn't likely to change as I flesh out the characters (since I have no plans to do so).

The above information does not apply to Armor and A-Sim, since the main reason they're not canon is because it's not possible for me to just add a "Nuclear Throne World" to my OC multiverse because in Nuclear Throne the apocalypse happened in every world except one (the I.D.P.D. world), and I already have multiple worlds where the apocalypse hasn't happened.

Oh, and I don't actually have many Terraria OCs since usually I just play as a character from somewhere else (or play as one of my non-Terraria OCs, which I've only done twice).

#rambling #my ocs #hatena quest

[deepseamuse]

Random, non-anime thoughts (mostly video games)

I miss the aesthetic old ds games with 3d models had. Give me more of those pixelated, low-poly models, I love them so much.

Related to that, graphics are probably the last thing I consider when deciding if a game is good or not, and I’m tired of people acting as if things like bad looking trees and minor graphical glitches ruin an experience. If the game is fun I really could not care less if it looks bad.

I wish interactive fiction/choose your own adventure games were more popular, they’re so much fun even though it’s mostly just reading.

If you have OCs that you want to get a better handle on, try playing a game while making decisions in-character. It’s helped me understand what my OCs would do in certain situations, plus I don’t feel as bad about picking evil choices when I know it’s something this character would do. CYOA games are actually great for this and it’s like half the reason I love them.

If you’ve been trying to beat a boss over and over again for the last few hours and haven’t had any success, maybe you should take a break. I’ve found that I usually do worse when I feel frustrated, so I usually stop and give myself time to cool down. Also drink water.

Cold take but if the general playerbase thinks a certain expansion pack is essential to enjoying the game, it probably should have been in the game by default. Stop making us pay extra to make the game actually fun. (I’m looking at you, EA. This is why I don’t play Sims 4.)

Why is it that I’ll spend 2-3 hours struggling to fall asleep and then sleep through the entire morning. Can the brain please stop thinking for like five minutes, I want to rest.

I’m not the kind of person to go “I hate the state I live in, it’s the absolute worst and I’d rather be anywhere else” but Texas weather sucks. Please be consistent, I never know what to wear bc it’ll be freezing cold one day and super warm the next. Also it never rains when you want it to, and always when you least expect it, and that’s why I always carry an umbrella.

#not anime #random thoughts #video games #choose your own adventure #there’s more but i don’t want to spend all day writing #interactive fiction

[simpgoose]

Alright alright so. Day two ig, this is a poorly thrown together doodle I did late last night as a wind down between my day and bedtime bc I went ahead and randomized. We pulled Blake (right), a pansexual cis man who is my partner's character. (Yesterday, I think I forgot to mention that Lainey is my character and Drew was also my partner's *rip*) Blake is sort of? a main character, in that he is sort of the """viewer's""" main exposure to a specific group of OCs that are all mine, being the Estrellas. Blake himself grew up in the small town that said group of OCs would eventually collect in, and he knew one of the foster kids before she was in the system- Heather (not in the image), who was his best friend. Ultimately, her home life was *fucked*, and when put into the system, she managed to qualify for the specific parameters that the Estrella house was looking for (this will not make very much sense at all but it's important for Blake I am so sorry if this sounds like non-sense) Anyways, his friend changes her name to Summer bc her old name carries a lot of trauma. They grow up together, best friends, dependency issues develop, still close, but he opts to move to California after HS graduation to pursue an acting career. Now, what happens there is dark, so I will put that at the very bottom with TWs and stuff, but for anyone who wants to avoid that, I'll give you a trigger free run-down; Meets girl, falls in love, things go Terribly Wrong, he ends up in a psych facility/rehab center, comes back, while he's dealing with all of that trauma, he experiences a lot of lessons in life and love with said group of OCs and the other people that exist in his home town. He *at current* is set up to end up with Summer after lots of therapy and a third poly member named Maxine, but also Blake is such a lovable goofball of a sunshine himbo that it's hard for us to not want to write him a romance with *everyone* there (in fact, we have given him a happy ending with almost every character in this setting, to the point where we've considered making a dating sim). Blake is a guy that loves to play into the big idiot golden retriever stereotype, but he is actually pretty intelligent when it comes to visual language and cinematography. He knows a surprising amount about color theory and framing, and has a lot of emotional depth and awareness that he's improving through therapy. All Blake wants to do is put more good into the world than bad, and sometimes that results in him taking the brunt of the bad if it means he feels like he's doing some good in the process. - Now. About Ophelia (left, my OC) and what happened in California and why we felt she was the most necessary adjacent OC to place here even though she has very little "screen time". What happens in California is never focused on very heavily in the story aside from how it effects Blake as an otherwise totally optimistic and almost "happily stupid" type of character, but it's written out in such a way that you can understand *why* it effects him the way it does. These topics aren't meant to be taken lightly. -

TW: Drug use mentions, non-explicit su*c*de via OD - - Blake has. An extremely hard time finding acting jobs, as you would probably guess, considering the stereotype. Through a friend, he's been able to crash with some acquaintances in town, who are more than happy to provide him a support system. But he's a small town kid in a new city with complete strangers, albeit friendly ones. One of those strangers is Fawn, who introduces him to the local party scene. There, he meets one of her acquaintances, Ophelia. Ophelia is pretty, charming, witty, and bubbly. She's got cool gray eyes that still feel warm, and he's never felt quite so shy about only having brown-hazel before. Something about her feels familiar in a way none of the people he was staying with did. They spend a long time talking; he finds out she's looking for model work in the city, and he mentions his want to be an actor. They very quickly spiral into dating as two optimistic kids looking for their shot at fame. However. Ophelia happens to have a group of friends at about this exact time who start getting into some *hard* drugs. She's battling self image issues, despite the fact that everyone's encouraging her that she can find model work as she is, and ends up leaning into these for not only escape, but as a means to lose weight. Blake, in one of the deepest mental pits of his life, starts doing this with her. The support group that he was with starts getting shut out as they call attention to the dangers of using this substance. They try to talk to both of them to get help, but with the codependency and addiction, it doesn't sound like reasonable advice to the two of them, and so they run off. They live on the streets for a very short period of time, crashing with some of Ophelia's crowd. Eventually, they do manage to get a very, very, very shitty motel room for a few nights. Blake goes out, trying to look for any work to get any more money, and comes back to a letter that only says "I love you" on it. Blake calls the paramedics and the cops. He calls the friend he had back in his hometown, the one that recommended him to said earlier support group, who drives several hours just to come sit with him. This is Bailey Estrella. She talks to him for a while (and tells him that her friends had been extremely worried about him after he ran off), and eventually convinces him to go to a rehab center. She drops him off, and hangs around with her friends that she had recommended him to so she can keep an eye on him while he gets better. When he eventually does get out of rehab, Bailey helps him move back home after having a small celebration with him and her group of friends. Blake is aiming to go back to college for photography now, having fallen out of love with his movie star dreams. In spite of all of this, Blake really tries to uphold that sunshine demeanor. More than anything, it's a mask to try to be his old self again while he handles his shit. And some days, the lie works so well that he thinks maybe he is that version of Blake again. Other days, he grapples with the idea that he's just animating this ghost of himself for other peoples' sake. Regardless of what his happy ending is, it always results in him accepting that he's been through shit, and it's the choices he makes in spite of it that make him a better version of himself, not pretending to be a happier version of himself.

#oc october #oc artist #oc art #oc writing #oc sketch #oc artwork #traditional media #traditional sketch #traditional art #sketchbook #sketch #character art #original character #oc backstory #oc background

[poisonedsimmer-inactive]

Ice Cream Crew: (mostly Neo/Heiss)

(^^^ the most canon one out of all of these lol)

(^^^ second most canon one for these boys)

Loyalty Crew: (mostly Sarge/Blade aka Sade)

(^^^ this one is sooooo canon I could honestly cry! lol)

#Non-sims #saviorhide #Poisons OC shit #Poison talks shit about their OCs #I'm just fucking cackling at basically how canon every single one of these is! #and how much these beautiful idiots all make me smile #sorry it's limited to these ones #I can't think who else to do it for #these are my oldest chars #along with a couple of ones from other people #so had to be them #lol #I know everyone did these a while back #but I forgot to actually share mine #oops! #so here #for those who wanted to see me do these

[rae-blogging]

𝘼𝙉𝘿 𝙇𝙊𝙑𝙀 𝙄𝙎?

pairing: Jake Sim x fem!Reader, Sunghoon x OC

genre: Angst, Fluff, Humor

word count: 10k 

synopsis: You’ve been head over heels for Sunghoon for years now,  already aware of how doomed your story is from the start you go from pretending that you don’t believe in love to accepting it, but Jake Sim is adamant to change your mind.

warnings: Mentions of a creep being a .. creep?, reader running away from situations, slight manhandling on Sunghoon’s part (He grabs your wrist), Reader being an idiot, non religious mentions of God, fake dating is proposed but literally barely happens (Lmk if I missed something), Niki iis your brother (not a warning but yk), Yeonjun (TXT) and Yuna (ITZY) are part of the fic too and this is not proofread.

a/n: An earlier version of this fic was posted on my older blog but I ended up rewriting many bits again. Also I really love receiving feedback so please, please reblog my work if you like it.

"So, um, what is your favorite color?" You asked with a slight smile, trying to make the best of the situation (You really were going to kill Jungwon when you see him). 

There were three main dilemmas in your otherwise monotonous life a) Your inability to work/study when you should ; b) Your complete lack of romantic experience. You have -- after thorough over thinking past midnight – come to the conclusion that there’s something wrong with you. Other than the normal kind of flaws that you’re convinced everyone has, of course, like you being too lazy to get yourself a glass of water from the kitchen ( It’s not really your fault honestly, you wouldn’t be this lethargic if Niki didn’t always do your chores for you at home) and  getting anxious for no reason in particular and hyper fixating on said anxiety till neither your existence nor the topic of anxiety makes sense anymore, of course there’s also slightly worse issues with you like your tendency to cancel on your friends right before the plan is brought to life (although that doesn't work anymore and now you get dragged along anyway) or procrastinating all the time and then panicking but still procrastinating and finally, working like a madman and being disappointed if you don't score extremely well (But that's the case with most of your friends too so maybe it's not that big a deal), anyway the point is you're flawed. Quite flawed. You were still trying to figure out what exactly causes your absolute lack of romantic experience (that's how Sunoo put it nicely) or your forever disgruntled and dissatisfied state of mind because you never get any (as Jake had thoughtfully offered his version of the same). Sunoo is essentially sunshine trapped inside a 5’8 human body ( you think he’s shorter but he gets mad each time you bring it up, so you’re trying to make peace with obvious lies) and he’s probably the nicest person in your group right after Reyna. Jake, on the other hand, was probably created simply to make every minute of your existence that coincides with his, painfully exasperating. Alright, Jake wasn’t really all that bad except for his constant reminders about environmental issues, which you secretly found endearing and his unrivalled ability to score well on tests you know he hadn’t prepared for at all, he was actually cool. You’d moved past the time where you called people your ‘best friend’ but if there was one for ‘best friend + annoying idiot you randomly want to punch’ he’d definitely get it. While your friends were aware of the first two ‘problems’ the third one was something you’d have to deal with on your own. Tired of your friends’ bantering with you about your love life, you had of course indignantly insisted that you were better off single — it's so expensive being in a relationship nowadays anyway and you already spent most of your time slaving off trying to pay back your student loan before you turn 30 — of course, you just had to overdo the act and adamantly trash talk every couple which was apparently very offensive (Heesung had said that, and you usually trust his opinion), and now you were stuck at the most awkward blind date you had ever had (and that was saying something considering you had one where the person had asked you to Venmo him a 35 to buy coke). 

"Black. Like my life. Quite bleak, I know" he nodded thoughtfully to himself before you could deny it, "but I am that way you know? Mysterious. It defines me perfectly."

You bet the dude couldn’t spell mysterious.

"Yeah, of course, black is a beautiful color." You tried to sound interested, but it was getting kind of difficult with you making all the conversation and him talking about....well himself. Too much in depth, if you were being honest. 

"This one time, I met a chick in Bali and you know they’ve really sensual brea – “

Not only was Jungwon’s attempt at getting you a blind date a horrific try, but you were also now in the company of a complete pervert. Thank goodness for Choi Yeonjun, the chef of the restaurant (technically the restaurant was his father’s so maybe owner would be a better designation) and your friend (again technically he was Heesung’s friend but your group hung out at Choi’s every Friday and so you were pretty sure that he at least knew you) causing a fire alarm to go off, your date took off running, not even sparing a glance in your direction when Yeonjun started screaming ‘Fire!’, you weren’t sure if he saw your thinly veiled face of disgust or heard the man however you had no chance to ask since everyone was escorted outside almost immediately. You were certain you saw the chef wink at you though.

Anyway, getting a boyfriend was a complete failure and the worst bit? You were relieved. Because you had another person clouding your mind most days (You studied Chemistry along with English so that took up a few days too).

You had a huge crush on Sunghoon. It wouldn’t be that big of a deal really except it totally was and no way were you going to tell your friends who were positive that you hated the concept of love and despised couples that you had heart eyes for your childhood friend.. You have to give it up for yourself for managing to hide it behind faces of extreme disgust and unasked for comments on anything remotely related to love, because you’d liked the boy for quite a while now, you weren’t sure about the exact time period but it was getting really hard being around your friend without breaking down and confessing, so of course the genius you had decided to platonically cockblock yourself by a) Avoiding the poor boy and being snide if you did talk and; b) Being obnoxiously loud and proclaiming love was gross. Unfortunately for you, your friends had moved on from the cooties phase just a year or two later and now you were stuck as the grumpy, single friend who drank too much coffee and had slightly violent outbursts of consistent prodding the people sitting next to you when you got excited during a movie’s scene. Frankly (Name) I am more surprised you have friends. Two things were clear to you from the beginning of your story though: a) You liked your friend more than you should b) You were absolutely doomed from the very start.

‘”Hey!” Jake flailed his hands in the air like the idiot that he was, being greeted by you laughing and doing the same at the other end of the hallway, the students around paid no attention. You weren’t even sure if they weren’t all sleepwalking to be honest.

“How was the date?” he asked, putting an arm around your shoulder as you weaved through the zombified students.

 “He was in love, for sure,” you scoffed, “with everything that moved. Jungwon sure knows how to pick the creepiest men-”

You trailed off at the sudden shock of Jake tugging you closer to him.

He looked at you a smile, his other hand tousling his hair letting out a sheepish laugh,"What? You’d get trampled dude. You never pay any attention to your surroundings.”

You waved your hand around, eager to talk about your tumultuous evening ,“He talked about girls and their boobs and get this- sensous hips..” You raised your hands dramatically in exasperation, “Wait, was it the other way around? By the way, what happened to the save the turtle campaign? Did people even turn up? I heard there’s this dolphin-”

You turned to look at the boy beside you, raising your eyebrows when you saw him stop, jaw clenched looking unamused as you rambled on mindlessly.

“What’s wrong? Did enough people not contri-”

“Did he say something inappropriate to you?” Jake stared at you sternly, surprising you with his serious demeanor.

“Um, not really. He was just talking about some girl from Bali. I don’t know, I kinda tuned out after that.” You gripped his shoulder pulling him with you as you continued walking.

“Oh. Did he do anything el-“

“Nope. I’d slice his dick off.”

“Atta girl,” he smiled warmly, putting his arms around your shoulder again “Did you see Sunghoon yesterday?”

Sunghoon. The same friend you’d spent hours on ends playing Monopoly with, the same person who’d climbed into your room two days before your birthday to wish you when you were 12 (turns out 12 year old Sunghoon wasn’t very bright because he had thought this was the best way to wish you ahead of others), he’d brought you red roses on Valentine’s day because – ‘I do love you though! I love you the most in the world. Like right after Mom and Yeji. Oh, and Gaeul. Wait dad. But then it’s you.’ – he wanted you to know that he really did love you, the same way he loved his family or well his dog but you get the idea. You had wondered then if it was his tsundere way of asking you out. In all fairness though, you hadn’t ever been keen on actually dating your friend, you weren’t sure what people who dated were supposed to do anyway, so initially you hadn’t really minded harboring feelings for Sunghoon but your group had expanded in college, Sunoo and Yuna were your lab partners and, Reyna was on the student sports committee in college. You can’t really remember when it actually happened but you suddenly became increasingly aware of Reyna’s closeness with the boy you’d a crush on and, your desperately hidden feelings tugged painfully at the strings of your heart leaving you with no choice but to steer clear of the said boy in fear of a) You randomly confessing your thickly veiled crush and, b) Finding out/Having the same boy tell you he liked Reyna.

You wish you could at least be mad at Reyna or be able to despise her but you couldn’t. Not with how kind the girl was and how the two of you were always on the same wavelength about everything. She was your friend too, and you missed having her around. Sometimes you wondered if you should stop turning the other way when you met Sunghoon’s hurt eyes or be just as enthusiastic with your replies as Reyna was while talking to you, but then you’d see the two exchanging glances and the urge would die down immediately. You missed Sunghoon  too, of course you did. Up until middle school (before Jay, Jake and Heesung decided to enter the picture) he and Jungwon were your only friends, and the selfish part of you sometimes wanted to relive just that : Monopoly games and shaved ice and lego houses. Sometimes, when you crashed on your bed you still smiled thinking about how simple life was back then. You were getting tired of it now though, having to keep your feelings in, running from one part time job to another, lying about how you were. You were exhausted.

You were broken out of your daydream by a splash of water greeting your face, glaring at the culprit who was trying to gather rain water in his cupped hands, you let out a small smile simultaneously sighing about the open ground you’d have to run through to reach the laboratory.

“Let’s go together,” Jake laughed at your frustrated state, opening his umbrella and pulling you close as you stepped into the muddy ground, grimacing at your shoes that you’d have to clean that night.

The umbrella was too small for the two of you, both getting drenched just halfway through the premises.

“Oh come on” you sighed, tugging the boy along as you ran under the downpour. His hand clutching yours tightly as you made your way to class. The umbrella had slipped out of Jake’s hand somewhere in the middle but neither of you noticed as you took in his damp state, laughing till you saw your professor glaring at the two of you, promptly scuttling to classes after that.

“And a latte for you ma’am.” Jungwon flashed his signature smile at you, that you returned without hesitation, handing you the mug of coffee from your kitchen counter where the two of you’d spent the last 15 minutes trying to recreate TikTok coffee recipes, giving up pretty quickly in favor of the conventional latte. At least the younger boy was good at making coffee though, you couldn’t say the same for Yuna who hadn’t even tried to help you live your influencer dreams and headed straight for your hastily made bed, only to fall asleep in a few minutes. Shin Yuna was your roommate and you loved her to death but for the life of you, you couldn’t figure out how a human could sleep that much.

Jungwon glanced at your roommate, grinning slightly as he noted, “She’s out cold as usual, huh.”

You only nodded, relishing the sweet relief of caffeine on your tongue as the boy in front of flicked your forehead, “Drink slowly idiot, it’s hot.”

You gave him a sickening smile before proceeding to kick him in the shin, which led to him screaming and, consequently a pillow fight. You had to give one to Yuna though. That girl could sleep through anything.

It was only after you both sat down once the pillow fight (The pillows were thrown aside exactly 43 seconds into the fight and now you had a red handprint on your forehead and he had the prints of your nails on his face as a result) was over, that he asked you the question you were hoping to avoid.

“Did you and Sunghoon fight?” he asked with genuine curiosity, eyes averted to your cushion on his lap, as he attempted to untangle its strings.

“What? No, no, why?” you giggled unceremoniously simultaneously cursing yourself for being so obvious.

Damn you and your tendency to talk to yourself during the worst of times.

“You keeping avoiding him like the plague is why,” he looked up at you seriously.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about but we’re both busy, so it’s not that big of a deal,” you shrugged suddenly finding the carpet very interesting.

“And it has nothing to do with you crushing on Jake? Sunghoon & I are no longer your priority, huh?” he quirked an eyebrow at you.

Unfortunately for you, your brain had just decided to launch into a tirade of why Ellen DeGeneres was an A-grade jerk and you heard the question wrong.

After all your efforts to pretend you didn’t like anyone, least of all Park Sunghoon, fate finally thought enough was enough.

You knew you weren’t a good actor.

Oh God, what if Hoon saw through your act too?

Wait.

That meant everyone saw you as a pathological liar who consistently trash talked relationships but they stayed quiet because they pitied you.

This was horrible.

You’d need uproot your entire life and begin anew in Russia and go by the name of Luna because let’s be honest you have a soft spot for Luna Lovegood.

“(Name)?” Jungwon snapped his fingers in front of your face breaking you from a trance as you rushed to apologise for not telling him about your feelings earlier.

“I am sorry Wonnie, I liked him but I was so scared he’d-“

“I was just kidding can you stop looking like a-“

‘What?”

“What?!”

“You like Jake?!” This was a newer voice, and you could hear your friend scramble from the bed even as you placed your hands on your ears to minimalise some noise damage.

“Oh my God, you like Jake!”

Your social life was over and now you’d forever have to be resigned to your room where visitors would be allowed to leave flowers of token at the door at you-

“Wait what?”

“You like Jake? What the hell (Name). I was just kidding but..” Jungwon looked like a truck had run over his cacti and demanded him for compensation for damage caused to its tires.

“So, you were just pretending to like hate romance?” Yuna raised an eyebrow while Jungwon scowl in distaste.

“Yeah, (Name) not cool! I thought you were just being a dick to people and now I learn you have a schoolgirl crush?”

In Jungwon’s defense, he was not wrong.

“Oh. Um yeah. Sorry.”

“What a bummer,” Jungwon sighed as Yuna hit him over the head.

“Wait but like, why don’t you ask him out? Anyone can tell the boy likes you.”

You so hated it when your friends made sense. It was a common occurrence for people to assume you and Jake were dating because of how he doted on you, but then the boy was kind and sweet to everyone, he most definitely did not like you although it was apparent that your friends thought otherwise.

“I got rejected,” you blurted out before they could say anything else.

“What?” both cried out in unison.

Yuna stood up horrified, grasping your face in her hands, tilting it from one side to another as you blinked up unsightly.

“I’ll fight for you-“

“No, you will not.” Jungwon pulled her back before turning back to you again “Explain.”

“Um, I confessed and he said…he was busy with work.”

“I- wait what?”

“What work does Jake do?”

“That’s the weirdest rejection ever, but don’t you guys hang out all the time? Isn’t it awkward and how did you never tell us?” Yuna blurted questions after questions as Jungwon looked at you, prompting an answer.

“Oh, it’s um because, you see,” you wracked your brain for ideas “I’m hoping I still have a chance and it’s not awkward cause Jake’s nice like that.”

“With that rejection? Yeah right.” Yuna snorted, probably planning to punch Jake the next  time she saw him.

“Hey, it’s okay (Name). Things don’t always work out but it’s nice that you tried.” Jungwon tried comforting you.

“Yeah, don’t let it get to you.” Yuna smiled sweetly.

God she was scary.

You let out a sigh, if this was a book, this is exactly where the reader would close it to breathe in deeply and question why the main character was such an idiot. You really were the perfect Y/N and you were only going to prove the readers right by digging your own grave.

You knew accompanying Jake for coffee was a bad idea because a) he always ‘forgets’ his wallet and, b) you had a shift at the café in two hours and you couldn’t be bothered to spend any more time there than you necessarily had to; but you were a girl on mission today.

However, as usual, luck definitely wasn’t favoring you and right as you foot into the air conditioned place, your eyes fell on the couple sitting at the farther end of the café (your and Jake’s usual spot).

“Sung-” Jake’s excited shout died in his throat as you turned him around after an effective pinch to his arm.

“What the hell was that for?” he rubbed his arm in confusion, glancing back at the couple who were still in a world of their own.

“Let them have their privacy,” you shushed him, pushing him towards the chair and grabbing one that faced his own.

“Is it not because you can’t stand to see their mushy eyes and frivolous gestures of romance because you feel lonely and sick?” he plopped an elbow on the table, giving you an innocent smile that you returned momentarily before glaring at him.

“You are too invested in my love life Jake Sim,” you wagged a finger at him with a stern gaze, but a smile broke out on your face all the same.

“Just wanted the all clear,” he grinned, before standing up to place an order.

For some reason, your friendship with Jake was one of the few relationships that you never had to work on. It was easy for you to be able to laugh with him and listen to him talk passionately about things you previously had no knowledge about. He never demanded you give him company or spend time with him if you didn’t feel up to it, and sometimes, when you’d lay low for weeks and feel guilty for ghosting your friends, he’d drop you cheerful messages that you returned to whenever you felt upset. Jake’s presence had in a way filled the void that had been created by his friend’s absence.

“Hey, I forgot my wallet.” Jake returned to the table with a pout, and you resisted the urge to coo while somehow simultaneously managing to curse him out loud as you handed him your card.

Two things about Jake you were sure of : a) the boy was loaded, no seriously, he owned the costliest of clothes and shoes, and b) he was either the most careless person you knew or the biggest miser, and you weren’t sure what are worse.

As your thoughts began to drift again your eyes fell on Sunghoon and Reyna, and you were almost certain that you heard your heart let out a creak. Well, that or Jake dragged the chair to sit down in front of you.

“Isn’t it cute though (Name)?” Jake nudged your hand slightly, grinning at Sunghoon and Reyna. The former fiddling with his fingers, his cheeks red and eyes constantly sneaking glances at Reyna, who sweetly smiled at him.

“What?” You deadpanned, snatching up your coffee from the table.

“The way he acts around her” The boy in front of you scoffed, his eyes still twinkling. Jake suddenly seemed so annoying, you were sure it was a side effect of the stupid Elijah Sparks books he had been reading all weekend.

If there was one thing you had more than mint chocolate ice cream, it was romance books written by E. Sparks. You wouldn’t really detest him all that much if it wasn’t for his extremely exaggerated way of defining love and having the out of league guy fall for the bland girl.

“I, for one,” you emphasized pointing to yourself, “find it really cringe.”

“Cringy?” Jake looked at you with narrowed eyes, “At least use the correct word (Name).”

“Doesn’t matter,” you waved your hands around in the air in dismissing manner. “Point is,” you continued, taking your sweet time as you sipped on your coffee, “That’s weird. Seeing other people is weird. Letting one person have control over your life is weird. Emotions are weird. ”

The inner you was cringing intensely, but that’s fine (Name) you were just overcompensating to ensure you wouldn’t reveal your crush to Jake too.

“You used the word weird a lot,” Jake noted, completely ignoring everything else you said, “Aren’t you an English major?”

You mumbled an excuse incoherently, trying your best to look unsuspiciously at the boy sitting a little farther away from you, who was now laughing at something Reyna had just said. You weren’t surprised, Reyna was hilarious. You, on the other hand, had a broken sense of humor, laughing at the most inconvenient of times and over the stupidest of things but then again at least you had your own niche of people who understood your humor, all gathering in the comments under the ‘A slice of bread falling’ video that you had watched at least 19 times, on YouTube.

“So, you still don’t believe that love exists?” Jake asked with genuine curiousity.

You gave a half-hearted shrug, “Probably exists. Just don’t believe I’ll ever experience it.”

“And why not?” He played around with the metal straw in his hands (Jake was so totally a VSCO girl, it was a pity the term was no longer used)

“I’m not the main character.” You leaned back on the chair. Sunghoon was now smiling softly at her.

God, you hated cafés.

“Who do you think is?”

“I don’t know. You maybe? Reyna definitely.”

Jake stifled a laugh, “Any particular prerequisites for that, you think?”

“I don’t know man, can we just go?” You groaned, done with the conversation and the about-to-be-an-official-couple couple in front of you, completely pushing your ‘mission’ to the side. You could deal with the embarrassment of telling Jungwon and Yuna that your crush on Jake was unrequited but not with Park Sunghoon and Kim Reyna making heart eyes at each other in front of you.

“Okay how about we have a deal?” Jake sat up straight, his face serious (You think you should click a picture of it or something, but that’d ruin the moment)

“What deal?”

“Go out on three dates with someone. The same person each time obviously. If you end up not feeling anything, I’ll agree and if you don’t…”

This was your chance! You almost jumped up in your seat startling Jake.

“Okay,” you said quickly with a smile, only realizing later how suspicious that must have sounded.

Jake narrowed his eyes, “That was easy. What do you want in return?”

You placed your elbows on the table, fingers intertwined,” a) I choose who I go on the dates with, and b) you don’t ask any questions when you do me a favor.”

“What favor?” Jake’s brain was practically screaming at him to shut up but he never did listen.

“You’ve to pretend you rejected me a while ago.” you tried to keep your composure.

“No questions Jake. Also,” you smiled sweetly at him, making him groan,” You’re going with me on the three dates.”

“WHAT?”

People turned to stare at you, you kicked him lightly.

“Sorry. What?!”

Jake promptly choked on air.

Too busy trying to keep a straight face, none of you noticed your friends head out.

“You’re kidding.” Jake groaned, the tips of his ears turning red.

“Nah” you chuckled, sipping on the last bits of your coffee trying not to fawn over how cute he looked, the last thing you wanted was to boost Jake’s ego any more.

This was the second stupidest thing you’d done this week. The first of course was you running your mouth at Jungwon’s. Which is why the plan wouldn’t work but you had to try anyway. The spiderweb you spun around yourself was getting bigger and the only way out was to continue.

“You’re going out with….Jake?” Jungwon crossed his arms, narrowing his eyes at you as you tried to act unaffected, typing your draft as you nodded.

“Right after you said he rejected you?” Yuna chimed unhelpfully.

You didn’t understand why the girl was awake, it was 11 in the night and she didn’t seem sleepy at all. You had been hoping she’d be asleep.

“I knew it,” uttered the boy to your left.

Your shoulders drooped, he’d call you a pathological liar for sure now.

“I knew he probably too flustered the first time around!” he shook your shoulders violently.

Sidenote, Jungwon was probably where you got your violent tendencies from.

You weren’t sure whether to feel relieved or not, but your friends were scary for sure. A slight smile broke out on your face thinking about how right Jungwon was about Jake acting strangely when he was flustered, you had once had the prestigious opportunity of seeing him getting confessed to and Jake Sim was an adorable mess to say the least.

“Aww, you must like him a lot,” Yuna was perched on the end of your bed, “You’re smiling.”

“I, yeah, I like him a lot.” You replied with a wavering smile.

“That’s why you didn’t want to go on anymore blind dates!” he exclaimed happily

Too far.

“No, that’s cause you only have drug addicts and creeps on your list, Won.”

Before you could whine about Jungwon’s incompetency at playing Cupid, Yuna did it.

“Hey, at least I didn’t spill Sodium Hydroxide all over the table because the T.A. was too hot.”

“Excuse you? I am not the one who wears denim on denim you uncultured –“

“Um guys?” you interrupted hesitantly.

Considering the two were quarreling, they did trust your story and as reluctant as you were to bring back attention on your fake relationship, if there was going to be a massive realization of (Name) being a liar, you’d rather start here.

“Right, you and Jake.” Jungwon sat down on the bed, your eyes following every movement he made.

“We are happy for you of course (Name),” he beamed at you, opening his arms to envelope both you and Yuna into a hug (Yuna kind of snuggled in forcefully but it felt nice anyway)

“So…do the others know?” Yuna tilted her head to face you as you grimaced for what was to come.

“Not yet,” you admitted.

“Let’s have dinner at Choi’s.” she grinned, “you guys should tell the others too.”

“Only if you are okay with that,” Jungwon placed a comforting hand on your shoulder as Yuna nodded sheepishly.

You gave him a small smile, nodding softly.

“Yeah, let’s do that.”

Two down, six to go.

You could only hope all your friends were delusional idiots

You had exactly two hours before everyone headed to Choi’s and here you were, doused in flour wheezing as Jake Sim tried to make the perfect boomerang for his Instagram. This was your fault really for deciding to come over to his house where you supposed to set your stories straight so it was believable but he somehow persuaded you to help him bake a cake for your friends. It’s the first date, he had looked at you with an adorable smile. That should have been a red flag. Jake hates cooking, much less randomly making stuff for your friends to eat when you’re already heading to a restaurant but you trusted his stupid puppy dog eyes instead.

“Look here (Name),” he pointed the camera at you, beaming with happiness “Flip your hair but like real slow. One, two- (Name)!”

Here you were, two idiots doused in flour, laughing uncontrollably

No one should ever trust you with decisions, you swore as entered Choi Yeonjun’s restaurant. The place was filled with the usual chatter and comforting music, none of that helped you feel at ease though because the moment you entered you were greeted by the person you were desperately trying to get away from. At this point you weren’t sure if it was just your crush or your guilt making you do that. Whatever the reason your heart hammered in your chest as you took in the boy’s appearance. A casual white shirt and black sweatpants but he still looked like he’d stepped straight out of a loungewear magazine. You gave him a small smile, hoping he’d give you a curt greeting and head to the table, but he stayed there, eyes raking your body and then fixating on your smile as he made no attempt to return one and you felt yours droop as well.

This was getting awkward and frankly Sunghoon was tired of the silence, and completely exasperated by you.

“Why haven’t you answered any of my texts?” he asked after a short intake of breath.

Because I didn’t want to hear you talk about Reyna.

“I didn’t see your messages.” You gave a forced smile trying to move away and get to your friends’ table. You could see Heesung and Jay exchange looks and Jake getting up from his seat, but almost immediately Reyna tugged his arm, pulling him back to his seat.

Clicking your tongue in annoyance, you looked the boy in front of you with annoyance.

“Sunghoon can you please get out of my- ” your whine was cut short as he tightly grabbed your elbow, tugging you outside the restaurant.

“What the hell Sunghoon?” you exclaimed in frustration, pulling your arm away from his grip, “What’s wrong with you?”

He promptly dropped his hand to his side, face falling slightly as he saw your reddened arm.

“I am sorry.” He spoke genuinely, and you felt your anger ebb away as he gently inspected your hand.

You stared at him expectantly, already knowing what was going to come and hoping he wouldn’t say it.

“I just miss you,” he rubbed the back of your hand with his thumb, eyes almost watering.

You could taste metal on your tongue from how tight you were biting down on it.

“I don’t know what I did (Name),” his voice was a hoarse whisper now.

Your fingers clutched your dress tightly onto fists as you see a tear escape his eyes even as he turns his head to the side.

“You’ll…” the boy in front of you seemed to hesitate before he cleared his throat,” you’ll forgive me if I hurt you, won’t you? I am sorry, I am really-“

Hugging Sunghoon felt like comforting, even though you were both in tears and you could feel his shirt soak under your skin.

“You did nothing, I- I was just distracted. Sorry.” you mumble softly, nuzzling your face further in your friend’s arm, eyes averted to ground.

“It's okay, just text back every once in a while, okay? I wanted to tell you so many things,” you could feel Sunghoon smile into your skin as he heard you, “I do too.”

Your mind drifted towards Jake, the boy would be worried sick till you returned and you felt yourself letting out a smile thinking of his funny frown in spite of the previously almost morbid atmosphere.

“Is it about Jake?” you looked up at the boy, his lips quirked up in a teasing smile.

“You know?”

“You’ve been ditching me all this while to hang out with that bastard,” Sunghoon let out a chuckle, looping his arm around yours as he walked you towards the nearby park, “Of course I know.”

“Shouldn’t we go back to the otherst?” you looked at him questioningly, making no efforts to leave though.

“They can wait. Besides, I have something I want to tell you.”

None of you seemed to notice the retreating figure of Jake Sim.

“It’s my turn,” you tried pushing Sunghoon off the swing but he clung on adamantly.

You didn’t even care for the swing really. It just felt good being with him, you could almost feel the corners of your lips turning up watching him staring into the distance.

Sunsets were never your thing but Sunghoon always loved the hues of the sky around that time.

“What did you want to tell me?” your throat was choking up again, but you weren’t going to cry anymore.

You’d be a better friend. And you’d be happy for your friend.

“I really like Reyna,”

Yeah, no, fuck being a good friend.

“I..” you began but immediately stopped yourself.

You were not extraordinary at anything but being a good friend. You had your shortcomings but your friends came before anything else. You weren’t just going to hurt yourself by revealing your feelings, because you know Sunghoon like the back of your hand.

He’d give up on Reyna.

You’d break two hearts to save one.

So you nodded your head furiously, pushing his head to the front as he stared up at you in amusement, not trusting your voice till you could take in a deep breath at least.

“I know, you’re not subtle.” You chuckled.

“Really?” he looked back at you aghast, “Do you think she noticed?”

Hands fiddling with the rope of the swing you smiled softly.

“She’s not dumb Hoon.”

“Shit, what should I do?” he got up instantly.

“Tell her,” you could feel your cheeks dampen.

Thank goodness for the dark, really.

“I…what if she doesn’t?” Sunghoon seemed hesitant but you know he’d go anyway.

He gave you a small smile before patting your head softly, ”I should go, shouldn’t I?”

No, please don’t.

“Of course, dumbass.” your voice wavered slightly, but Sunghoon didn’t notice, even as he turned back a few steps out of the playground to wave at you, his back turned to you before you could return the favor.

It didn’t take very long for Sunghoon’s silhouette to disappear and suddenly, your feet were too heavy and your body too exhausted, you felt yourself crash to the ground, your hands clutched the grass tightly. Unmindful of the tears that flowed relentlessly.. The last thing you saw before you collapse were Jake Sim’s eyes staring into yours with concern.

All your friends were delusional idiots.

Except for he-who-must-not-be-named and Reyna, because they weren’t there for dinner with the rest of your group. The realization alone was enough to send a pang of hurt down your chest.

All it took was Jake kissing your cheek as he brought you back to the restaurant and your friends (save for Jungwon and Yuna who looked suspiciously smug) were convinced you were soulmates. They weren’t overtly dramatic either, other than the random gasps they’d let out each time you guys even looked at each other. Or maybe you judged too soon.

“I knew there was something going on!” Jay exclaimed when Jake held your hand in his, making Sunoo gag.

That little bastard.

“Move on, Jay.” Heesung hit Jongseong over his head, smile immediately after so he could ask the boy to pass the salt to him.

“What?” Jay distractedly passed the pepper to an annoyed Heesung instead, looking pointedly at Jungwon who seemed really immersed in his pepperoni pizza, “You guys said I was over thinking it.”

Jungwon didn’t even like pepperoni.

He pointed at you, nudging Heesung who was visibly frustrated by now, “She is the one who over thinks everything. You guys never trust me.”

This fucker.

You gave him a tight lipped smile, picking up your fork with murderous eyes not scaring him in the slightest as he smirked at your intertwined hands. Neither of you made any efforts to separate your hands though.

Not only did you have to play pretend with your freshly broken heart but you also had to watch your friends dissect said pretend relationship. It’s not like you had much of a choice though, it would be better to see a lovesick Sunghoon with fake boyfriend Jake than without him.

‘Hey, I believed you!’ Sunoo raised his hand halfway before picking up another slice of pizza “I even saw them making out in the auditorium,”

Jake’s clutch on your hand grew tighter as he choked on whatever he was eating as you glared at Sunoo. Maybe you shouldn’t feel bad about lying after all.

“I knew Jake was crushing hard dude.” Jay guffawed.

Jungwon gave Yuna condescending smile, subsequently being greeted by a kick to the shin by said girl.

Your smile wavered slightly as you saw Sunghoon and Reyna in the distance, hands intertwined, not noticing Jake’s reddened cheeks till you felt your hand being tugged upwards.

“Guys, me and (Name) should head home,” Jake stood up, looking down at you with a hesitant smile.

“Oh God, are you really going to start mak-”

“Shut up Sunoo,” the two of you muttered together, as you got up amidst the chatter of your friends, eyes meeting with Yeonjun who was dealing with a fussy customer, he gave you a small smile before turning his attention back to the man.

Your mind still hazy as Jake led you out and into his car, the ride was a silent one but your mind didn’t give you a minute of peace.

He handed you a glass of lemonade from the nearby stall, as you aimlessly swung around trying to come up with an excuse for when he’d ask you why he found you shaking and sobbing on a playground.

“Can I ask you something?” he twisted the swing towards him, as you shook your head softly.

“Alright,” he had replied complacently, “let’s talk when you want to.”

You weren’t sure if you had ever felt as empty as you did that night. You turned to the side to look at the boy beside you.

“What did you want to ask?”

“It’s fine, you don’t have to answer.” he looked at you for a second before returning his attention to the road ahead.

“You already know, don’t you?” you sighed, eyes on your lap burning looking at the boy next to you.

Jake nodded hesitantly, before veering the car towards the way home.

“I don’t want to go home,” you sat up frantically.

He slowed the car down to a stop before turning to face you.

“May I hug you?” he asked softly.

You nodded after a second of thought.

You were the kind of person who liked the idea of hugs more than hugs itself, you almost never felt the feeling of warmth envelop you like books said. Until that hug. You’ve hugged Jake before, cuddled even (He’s a very touchy person and always gets scared when you watch horror movies. It always ends up with his face buried in your hair). This hug was different though, he smelled like vanilla and you felt your burning as he rubbing soothing circles on your back. His arms around you made you feel like you were 12 again, safe from heartbreaks and growing up, drinking hot chocolate instead of coffee. Suddenly, it was too hard to keep it in. Your lashes getting heavy with the weight of tears that you were trying to hold back, throat hurting from the buried words you’d tried to choke down with smiles.

Dilemma c) The only boy you’d ever loved didn’t love you back and it hurt to admit that, so you sufficed with believing that you didn’t love. You couldn’t love.

“You know what,” you sniffled pulling Jake closer, not willing to leave his grasp just yet, “he once told me I wouldn’t end up dating anyone because he raised my standards too high. That dickhead.”

Jake couldn’t really hear a lot of what you were saying, your voice muffled by his shirt, but he knew you needed him right now, so even though he felt his breath hitch as your buried your face deeper in his neck, he stayed quiet, patting your hair softly.

“I have liked him for so long, ho- how can he just leave me and-” your voice broke into sobs again and Jake could feel his heart drop in his chest, silently cursing the boy in his mind.

Jake held nothing against Sunghoon really, except his obliviousness to your obvious feelings. He was surprised no one else had caught onto how you only ever shared your treasured pack of orange juice with him or completed his assignments with yours whenever he missed classes or despite obviously caring for Reyna, you completely avoided her whenever she was around Sunghoon.

“Even if, he doesn’t love me like that he should have- Are you crying?” your thumb swiped over his cheeks gently.

He hadn’t even realized that he was crying you mentioned it but sure enough he was sniffling a few minutes later, unsure of how appropriate it was to be crying to your crush’s sob story of her unrequited love.

“Sorry,” he rubbed his hands over his face roughly, feeling his heart lighten when he saw you smiling at him.

“Do you believe in love?” you asked him once he began driving again.

You felt lighter, like a weight had been lifted off your shoulder now that you had cried it out.

“Yeah,” he responded almost immediately.

“What’s it like?” you asked, chin buried in the crevice between your knees as you sat  on the passenger seat.

“Like coming home,” he gave you a soft smile, bringing the car to a stop in front of your apartment.

You didn’t want to be alone.

“Can you stay? Please?” you looked pleadingly at him and he gave in quickly to your surprise.

“Only if we are drinking.” he looped his arm around your shoulder.

You let out a laugh..

The next morning came like an epiphany (and a terrible hangover). Two realizations at hand a) You couldn’t go through with the fake dates. You told Jake as much, he looked up from where was what you assumed trying to make you pancakes, he didn’t look surprised at all. He simply nodded and gave you a reassuring smile, “It’s fine. I’ll tell the others we were messing around or something.”

You gave him a pained smile, unsure if the boy remembered the previous night well.

“You can just say we broke it off because we are better off as friends or something.” He suggested as you continued chucking clothes into your bag, not looking at the way his hands trembled.

He wanted to ask you if you were leaving, and if you were feeling better now, but he decided to stay quiet, he had ended up breaking his own heart while trying to fix yours.

He opted to leave after you ate the burnt pancakes together, only receiving a small smile in return when he asked if he’d see you in college on Monday.

b) You needed to leave for a little while, if only to get your thoughts straight. You had done something you shouldn’t have and now your brain was a mess.

You spent the next few minutes informing your employers that you needed to take a few days off, thankfully both were fine with it. Unfortunately you weren’t, it felt like you were running away, you tried to convince your mind uselessly but the damn thing just wouldn’t shut up till you were in your car on the way home, speakers blaring Gracie Abrams because you were too much of a coward to listen to Olivia Rodrigo. Your phone lay switched off amid your haphazardly packed clothes. You wouldn’t need it for a while.

Niki was grounded, and your phone was in your brother’s hand exactly 7 minutes after your random visit home. At least your mother was pleased to see you, although she constantly kept turning your wrists around, worrying that you hadn’t been eating well. Your dad wasn’t home and you were thankful that you didn’t have to see him because you know you’d burst into tears immediately if you did.

You didn’t like doing chores but Niki had grown more rebellious than you remembered and so it ended up being you and your mom alone in the kitchen, chopping vegetables and talking.

“He’s such a stubborn boy,” your mother complained with a smile.

You looked at her inquisitively.

“He and Yeonhee broke up,” She shook her head tiredly “He needs to understand that relationships need time and patience, but this stubborn boy.”

Your hands shivering, trying to ignore how your mother’s words had hit you like a brick.  Yeonhee was like a little sister to you, she was always over at your house, playing with Niki and pranking you when you least expected it.

“Why all of a sudden?”

“The boy won’t tell me a thing. Anyway, how have you been doing love?” your mother smiled at you before patting your cheek lovingly “Resting enough?”

“Yeah, I always rest when I should mum,” you replied inattentively, thoughts swimming in your head.

“I need to talk to Niki, mom,” you told her hurriedly placing a kiss on her cheek as you went upstairs.

“Niki!”

“The door’s opened. Come in.”

You threw yourself on the unsuspecting boy, hitting him on the head right as he relaxed into the hug.

“Ouch, what was that for?”

“How are you?”

“You.” he pushed you away by your shoulders, staring sternly at you “You heard about Yeon, didn’t you?”

“Yeah,” you pouted slightly burying your face in the pillow before facing him “Wanna talk about it? Are you okay?”

“I don’t know, mom keeps telling me I am wrong,” he scoffed, playing with the ends of his sleeves.

“You’ve known her since forever, kiddo. She’s just worried you didn’t think it through.” you tapped his knees to get him to listen.

“It’s just strange,” he whined poking your arm for no reason eliciting more prodding from you “I really care for her still but sometimes I think, I like the idea of her more. When we were friends it was so much different. It’s like I push everyone else away when I think of her, and that’s not healthy.”

Your breath hitched.

Your brother continued unaware of how guilty you felt, “It’s not like I can control my feelings you know. And I do care for her. A lot but I started doing everything the way she liked instead of what I wanted, I even fought with my friends because she wanted to spend all the time with me.”

His voice broke slightly at the end, making your heart hurt. You didn’t like seeing him this way.

“Hey, hey please don’t cry. You should just.. talk once instead of hiding away like this though, okay? I’m sure she’ll understand.”

Hypocrite, the voice in your head muttered.

You have no idea why but your inner monologue person is the meanest human you’ve ever interacted with. And it’s you! You love making yourself hurt, don’t you?

“You’re…you are doing the same thing, aren’t you?”

Niki’s voice trailed towards the end, eyes wandering towards your phone that you grabbed before he could.

“What?” you nudged him playfully “Don’t snoop around my messages, man.”

“Sorry” he muttered “Did you not tell anyone you were coming home though?”

“I- no, no I didn’t.” you corrected yourself with a sigh.

“You know it’s okay to prioritize yourself once in a while, right?”

“Yeah,” you whispered half-heartedly.

“How did you know?” you hesitantly asked your brother, who waited for you to clarify, “How did you know you just liked the idea of her and not her.”

“I-“ he cut himself off with contrite smile, “I felt the happiest around someone else.”

You looked at him with a stricken face.

“Oh, come on (Name) I am not a dick, I didn’t do anything.”

You let his previous words sink as you thought about your own situation. Was it possible that you only liked the idea of Sunghoon? It seemed that way sometimes, you’d forget all about the boy when you were with Jake, and kissing the latter had seemed so right even thought you were both way too buzzed o remember properly, just that you had melted in his arms and fallen asleep right after.

“(Name) you know I’m here for you, yeah?” He said seriously, you could only nod, wondering just how different your dynamics were as opposed to most other siblings as you walked out. Niki had always been selfless, never fighting and ready to give up his share of things if that’d make you happy.

Avoiding people and situations that made you uncomfortable had always been your way of dealing with them. Letting go of your years old friendship with Sunghoon just because you couldn’t deal with your feelings in a healthy manner and then fleeing for home when you heard Jake confess his love for you in your sleep. You wonder how many heartbreaks that humans cry over were created by them.

“Mom, I’ll go back tomorrow.”

“That soon?”

“I have…someone I need to talk to and,” your voice dipped “apologise to.”

You checked your phone on your way back, 18 missed calls from Sunghoon, 21 from Yuna, 16 from Jungwon and Jay, 14 from Heesung and Sunoo, messages from your friends flooding your phone. 1 message from Jake. Your finger hovered over his name, unsure of whether you should click it or not.  You go with the latter. You had to talk to someone first.

She looked gorgeous in the casual blue dress she’d worn. Then again, Reyna always looked stunning, she looked a little lost till she saw you waving at her. Her smile amplified as she hugged you tightly before landing a firm punch on your arm as you whined, unable to control the smile on your lips.

“You had us terrified, idiot.” she took the seat in front of yours, looking you up and down, making you laugh.

“Are you checking me out?” you asked with a smirk.

“Oh, you know it,” she returned easily.

God, you missed this. You were such an idiot.

“I am sorry.” You took in a deep breath.

“I know,” she placed her hand atop yours “It’s fine. You should take as long as you need.”

“Did you see the other guys?” you asked, hands crossed over your lap.

“Oh no. Hoon wanted to visit the park and we thought we’ll start rejoining the group dinners after a bit. You and Jake left early too, didn’t you?”

You fiddled with your fingers, “Yeah.”

“I… Can I ask you something?” you looked at her hesitantly.

“Of course” she smiled sweetly.

“Did, um, did Jake tell you why I took off randomly?”

You just couldn’t do it. You couldn’t tell your friend that you used to have a crush on your boyfriend, that would be a huge dick move, even by your standards (You’d be lying if you said telling on people during elementary and middle school wasn’t your favorite past time, you defended yourself by saying Honesty was a virtue but you were not going to follow Harishchandra’s example here even though you’d only just decided to come clean).

“Yeah, he said you guys had a quarrel and he said something that made you leave. Wouldn’t say what even though Hoon threatened him.” she grabbed the cup of coffee and doughnut that the waiter served, eating slowly before continuing “Did he say something really mean?”

You took in a deep breath.

“He said he loved me.”

Reyna stopped eating.

“Oh”

“Yeah,” you couldn’t stop the chuckle while looking at her confused face.

“Is that bad? Too soon?” she asked, leaning back in her seat.

“No, it’s just-“

“You don’t.” she finished for you.

“I am not sure.” You spoke softly, eyes fixated on the table.

You felt horrid. Is this how Sunghoon would feel had you confessed?

“I wish I did,” you spoke hurriedly before she could respond “I really do, but I, I liked someone else for a really long time and then I just realized that I maybe didn’t like him and I do like Jake but.”

You let out a groan, frustrated by the jumbled mess you were spewing.

“You know, (Name),” Reyna spoke slowly like she was talking to a child “If he really loves you, he’ll wait. He’ll wait till you are ready.”

“Jake please,” you pleaded trying to stop him from leaving the diner, aware of how shocked your friends looked but trying your best to ignore their stares.

It’d been a week since you returned, you hadn’t talked to anyone other than Reyna. Having cleared your head about everything you’d decided you’ll talk to everyone at the restaurant, apologize and ask Jake if you could talk once everyone left but he had stood up immediately as he saw you. You could hear yourself gasp at how gaunt he looked in just a week, his bright eyes looked anything but as you approached closer watching him blink at you like he’d seen a ghost, immediately the chatter of the rest of your friends dimmed as he got up and walked right past you, you grabbed his arm before he could leave.

“Please,” you had never felt this helpless.

He took his hand out of your grasp, “(Name) I really can’t talk right now, I am exhausted and.-“

“Jake, I really don’t know what to say here. Can we please not talk alone?”

“(Name) I-” his voice was cut off by Jay’s.

“(Name) you had us scared shitless, You should’ve at least replied to the messages.”

“I needed some time off guys,” you replied, eyes still stuck on Jake.

“It’s alright (Name),” Heesung assured you “Reyna told us you needed some time.”

You could see Sunghoon getting out of his chair from the corner of your eye, but for the first time in so long it didn’t matter, what he had to say could wait and the realization was accompanied by a slow burn in back of your throat.

Just how many times had you ignored or hurt Jake, too sidetracked by what you felt for Sunghoon?

Your other friends continued to talk but their voice fell on deaf ears, as you wistfully looked at Jake silently asking him for a chance.

“Okay,” he nodded at last “Let’s go.”

You didn’t know where to begin.

“We kissed.” he spoke after a moment of silence, eyes never wavering from the road he was driving on.

“We kissed and I ended up confessing, but you regretted the kiss and you didn’t like me back, so you just..left.” His voice had no emotion it, like he had been saying this line a countless number of times till the pain ebbed away and left a blank instead.

“That’s not it, I just-” you tried to collect your thoughts “I am sorry. I know I scared everyone but I felt so confused because I liked it. I liked kissing you and then when you said – I was just so unsure, I needed time to figure it out.”

“(Name) I know it was sudden and this was not how I planned on telling you, if at all and I get that you needed time but would it really hurt to at least…not leave me hanging?”

“I wasn’t thinking, Sunghoon and Reyna, and then you- you made feel like for the first time like there was…someone else I could’ve liked.”

At that, Jake’s eyes flickered to yours, still hesitant as if he couldn’t be sure if you were talking about him.

“I was just all over the place. I should’ve talked to you.” you continued regretfully, placing your head on the headrest “I hurt you, didn’t I?”

“Yes,” he replied without hesitation “but do you, do you mean what you just said?”

You nodded slowly, hands grasping your dress tightly, “I don’t think I like Hoon the way I thought I did. But I can’t be sure about my feelings, Jake, I don’t want to hurt you again.”

“(Name)” Jake’s voice was gentler this time, “What if I want to take that chance?”

You sat up straight in your seat.

“You do?”

“I will.”

You looked at him in surprise, eyes still teary as he pulled up in front of your house.

You stayed as you were for a while, before getting out of the car and turning towards the boy.

“I’ll see you soon?” you asked hesitantly as he gave a small smile and a nod.

“And hey (Name),” he called out after you, “Second date tomorrow.”

Your hands were shaking as you reached for your phone, pressing the floor number on the escalator, heart beating fast as you finally clicked the message you had been avoiding.

You asked me what love was. I didn’t know for sure then and I don’t know it for sure now but, I think it’s when the kitchen is a mess because we tried to bake a cake together but now there’s flour everywhere and our first instinct is to look at each other and laugh. Love is when I can’t fall sleep at night and look at the glow in the dark stars pasted lopsidedly on the roof and smile unconsciously remembering the shaky ladder and mumbled threats and breathy laughter. Love is when I sit still on my desk and randomly doodle your name on my books and laugh about it. Love is you holding my hand and stealing my hoodie and watching cringy rom-coms and eating half burnt pancakes because neither of us paid attention to the time but that's okay, because we are eating it together. Love is the fragrance of coffee in the air, when I get back home after a tiring day and crash onto the couch but you call to tell me about Professor Green’s horrible class policies and suddenly I’m not so tired anymore. Love is wrapping you in my arms and feeling like I'm finally home, even though I’m not sure I’ve ever been home before but that’s okay because in my dreams we always make it there, under the pouring in rain, the umbrella forgotten somewhere along the way, running and laughing and tripping over untied shoelaces, but we always make it home

 Your finger trembled as you clicked the next message from Jake

And by the way, you’ve always been the main character to me.

Goodnight (Name), I’ll see you tomorrow ❤

Thank you for reading, grab a cookie :)

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