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aeliesa · 1 year

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DEAFENING SILENCE OF YEARNING

Synopsis: He's away but in those days of being on a different horizon, you just couldn't restrain yourself to think about how your life seems to be akin to what you try to evade. Nonetheless, he continues to prove you wrong in different ways.

• Relationship: Charlotte Katakuri x female reader

• Content: some extent of angst (?) and fluff

A/N: While rewatching one piece (which means my priorities is to reach Land of Wano as of now lolololols) I couldn't help but to write this as my mind keeps on generating plots (which I hate because whenever I try to write on my other fan fiction stories, it seems to be that writers block is back from vacation!) Anyway, this is a lengthy one which I decided to cut, I realized that it is way too much for one post because it is over 8k words, which might tire some of you.

I was just really kept on letting the juice of creativity out of my mind and realized this scenario has been growing the moment I stepped in the WCI arc, and I cannot help but adore the donut boy (although my heart lies with Ace, Luffy, and Law alone ehe.)

Anyway, this is the point of view of the reader (you) on missing the donut softie boy.

I hope you enjoy! :D

Addendum: there are some revisions but it's not too much that it alters the story. Just some errors here and there. Still, the possibility of errors that I overlooked is there.

To read the continuation head to: here.

In most situations, political marriage doesn’t work that much. It may help strengthen connections between families, but those forced to bind their love to secure the future of both parties tend to suffer the most.

Although you were treated differently than most of his family’s spouses, sometimes it makes you wonder if this union is simply for the family’s benefit.

“No,” you dismissed the thought immediately.

If anyone asks how married life goes, you would like to answer one thing: life-changing. At least, it is what you were dreaming of saying rather than pleasing; there is something in this matrimony that you were hoping to seek… something that differs from your parents. However, much to your dismay, the answer becomes more explicit each day: it is the same selfish decision between two heads of the families.

“Isn’t it also a selfish choice for you?” The thought makes you sigh in frustration for hoping to see the light in this almost spiral of despair.

As much as you try to neglect the idea, it just creeps inside your mind, slowly convincing. Being persistent has its merits, yet the situation you brought upon yourself at some point says otherwise. This political marriage between your family and the Charlottes is your gateway from the life you always wanted to escape. The suffocation of your father’s law has restrained you from almost everything in life, including the liberty to roam around your former land alone. In simpler terms: you were never free.

The night is still young, but your body is already weary enough to crave the soft mattress that can be found in the chambers shared by the two of you. Despite the tiredness, you were in no mood to leave the living room as you found comfort slouching on a settee facing the fireplace, listening to the soothing crackling from the burned woods.

“Why are you still awake?” a worried figure appeared from the mirror atop the fireplace. She walked over to you as soon as she stepped on the floor. “I was here three hours ago, and you didn’t bother to leave? Your body must be sore, sister, not to mention the babysitting with our youngest siblings.”

“We can stay here if you want,” a lady with peach hair says with concern.

“I appreciate the concern, girls, but it is still early… I’m not that tired,” you softly mumbled, trying to suppress a yawn with a wide smile. “This may come off, but what are you two doing here? I heard that there’s some commotion at the Seducing Woods; shouldn’t you be there, Brûlée?” your gaze never left her as the tall, pale woman with purplish hair sat before you.

“I needed to be here,” she simply quips, blowing her newly poured tea and glimpsing at your puzzled look.

“And I wanted to see you!” says the other one.

“Here? This isn’t the forest, Brûlée.”

Brûlée comes almost daily to accompany you, which you are thankful for. There are also nights that she checks on you from time to time. It can be through the mirrors or simply staying at your house and ensuring your needs. At first, you were bewildered by her ways of seeing you, but later on, you became accustomed to it, almost that it didn’t faze you that she appeared out of the blue.

Some of your in-laws visit you, but it is almost twice or thrice a month, considering their position, you understand. You were grateful that they took their time to spend their leisure time with you; never did they show any sign of detest in those times. Unlike some spouses of their siblings, you were just elated they treated you as a part of the family.

Most of the time, Chiffon and Brûlée knock at your door or appear from the mirrors in different corners of your house.

“Big brother asked me to look after you while he’s away,” Brûlée explains casually, leaning against the settee with a trace of determination across her face. “Actually… he asked all of us, but since most of my big brothers and sisters are busy with their work, they rarely come… and right now, I took the chance to escape dealing with those dimwits-minded pirates and let the other siblings handle it.”

Chiffon ‐ the peach-haired girl, nodded, “Brûlée also came to me and told me she was off to see you, so I took the chance!”

You were not a pirate nor had the liberty to sail the sea on your own accord, but when you stepped foot in Totto Land, you saw things that could leave you at a loss for words. Never in your wildest thought that such a country existed, much less imagined it… but it did. Although some things are difficult to explain and leave you dumbfounded, nothing can beat how his actions defy your pondering about this relationship – the union and mostly about him.

He continues to prove you wrong, not that you wanted to be cynical about him. Hell, it is the last thing you want! But considering where you grew up, it cannot be helped. To add fuel to the fire, the situation you’re dealing with is no different from the factors that lead you to think about it.

Ring. Ring. Ring.

“Excuse me, sister.” Chiffon picks up her transponder snail and answers it with: “sister is fine!”

“That is good to hear – hey, Oven, give that to m –”

“Hey sister, how are you?!”

“Now that you got to say your words, let me have this – Cracker give that to me! I’m gonna –”

“Big sister! I will ensure no pirates will step foot in your land!”

“Big talk right there, Cracker, when I was the one who monitored those weaklings. Now give that back to me!”

“What are you trying to say, Daifuku?!”

“I’m not done yet –”

“Shut up! Hey sister, I’m going to vis – hey Oven!”

Brûlée couldn’t contain her annoyance, “why don’t you guys try to resort to talking to her one by one?”

Instead of an answer, all she received were a series of banters from her big brothers, and you couldn’t even understand their words as they continued to bicker about who goes first in talking to you. Seeing them acting like that gives you a sense of belongingness; you were never the big shot in your own family, but somehow seeing how your husband’s siblings fought for your attention is surreal. As much as you try to understand their big brother’s impact on his siblings, you still fail to comprehend how you became a part of someone they have come to love. From a different perspective, your in-laws also look up to you the same way they see their big brother but, again, from a different perspective.

“I said I’ll go first!”

“No! You’ll just take all the time!”

“Daifuku is right!”

On the other hand, the woman with purplish hair who sits in front of you seems to restrain her displeasure and starts to yell at them, which makes everything worse. The other one, named Chiffon, tries to soothe her siblings but eventually joins the banters. Although the situation worsens, you find comfort that they have turned the silence of the living room into a swarming of energy from their bickers.

You couldn’t help but laugh at their enthusiasm and somehow pitied the snail at its continuous shifting of expressions: from anger to felicity to laughs and screams, their siblings’ bond is one of a kind that you also missed at your land.

Raising a hand despite not being able to be seen, you beamed. “Hi, guys! How are you there?”

“We are fine, sister!” the siblings from the other line answered unison, with the snail imitating their ecstasy.

“Hey, sister – I – hey!”

“Look, sister, I am goi – no! I - hey! Give that back!”

“Let me just finish – ow! Hey – clank”

Right before you could say something, the line was cut off. You just smiled over the cup of tea, elated to see that your in-laws are doing fine despite taking the mess into their own hands. It is not that you questioned their ability, but sometimes you cannot help but worry. Periodically you would check on them to see if they were okay, and thanks to your sister-in-law Brûlée, it was easy for you to move from place to place due to her abilities which you find so amazing.

The two girls shook their heads in disbelief and turned to you. “We’re sorry about that.”

“There’s nothing worth apologizing for,” you assured, smiling. “I’m glad you guys are okay… thank you for ensuring my safety.”

“Of course,” Brûlée exclaims, clearly flustered with your response. “We do not want to leave you alone, and certainly, we cannot withstand our big brother’s request… even if he doesn’t ask, we will do it voluntarily.”

“We just couldn’t leave you alone,” the other agreed.

Your eyes widened at their honesty but quickly tried to look away to hide the warm color of your cheeks through sipping your tea; Brûlée failed to notice your reaction much to your delight; however, Chiffon saw that subtle reaction.

“Big brother Katakuri is awesome… he’s the most independent sibling out there, and he is so strong that we all aspire to be as strong as him,” Brûlée explains while biting a cupcake. “Anyway, it must be hard for you to be married to him.”

The thought already crossed your mind: marrying him is no easy task. No, marriage is not easy; it bounds you for eternity. It is life-changing because you have already observed it from your siblings and parents. When you agree to be tied to him, you already know that there are things you have to compromise.

“What makes you say that?” you genuinely questioned.

Brûlée clears her throat and pauses, contemplating her sentence, “I mean… big brother is always away and, most times, when he’s here, he is always at work… I can very much perceive the difficulty of having time with him.”

Chiffon frowned at her sister’s question, “Brûlée! That’s not nice…” she turned to you with curiosity shining in her eyes. “Say, sister, what is it like to be married?”

It was the silence that engulfed you. The weight of the girls’ words is evident, leaving you silent for a minute. Chiffon’s question ran into your mind. Usually, you would answer it with fine, but in those moments, something akin to your desire to answer life-changing makes you want to say something different.

“Brûlée and Chiffon…” you softly called and straightly looked into their eyes. “Marriage is something that everyone should take seriously, it is not just the union of both sides, but it is a lifetime chapter that will shape the rest of your life.”

In between your pause, Chiffon interrupts. “Our family focuses on political marriage because it is what our mother wants… Most of us shut the idea of marrying for true love because we are bound with the responsibility of making our mother’s dream come true…” she lowers her head, dejected at the idea of marrying for convenience. “I’m gonna be honest… to see you and big brother Katakuri being in love gives hope that I – would someday have the same bond with you two.”

You could taste the tiniest hint of faith in her tone of your husband’s siblings. Chiffon is the most upfront about marrying for love. You cannot blame them for losing hope in finding affection in marriage; you’re also the same as them. A wave of sympathy came over you that you almost gave her false hope, which you never did.

You stood up and went over between the two girls who were lost in their reveries and gently placed a hand on both, “I cannot deny that political marriage tends to end up tumultuous, but that does not imply it could happen to the both of you. You must also remember that things may turn the way you do not want, but that does not mean it is the end of everything. There is time in everything; perhaps who knows that you and your siblings will find love the same way your brother and I do, or way better than ours.”

You gave them a reassuring smile; you know it is not the best advice, but it was what you could offer. The two-sister-in-law of yours seemed dazed, for all they could do was hug you, which you answered by leaning at their embrace and tapping their cheeks gently.

“We are so lucky to have a big sister like you,” Chiffon uttered, making you smile.

“And I am delighted to have you as my sisters,” you answered truthfully.

The three of you remained in that position as they showered you with questions about the life of matrimony; mainly, it was Chiffon because Brûlée entertained herself with the sweets they brought for you earlier.

“Is the life of being married hard?”

You thought for a second, “I-uhh... Maybe at first? Because of the sudden changes in your life, but as far as I can see… it is not…” you paused, thinking about the days you were newly married.

A feeling of sorrow starts to sprout that you choose to kill it off instantly, you’re with his sister, and it is not the right time for that. “You must learn to compromise; you have to give up something and in the same manner accept him wholeheartedly – his flaws, family – everything!”

“What about you?”

“Me?” you cleared your throat when Chiffon nodded. It didn’t escape from you how Brûlée glanced – also waiting for your answer. It is not because the question is difficult, you already have your answer, but before responding to the young girl’s curiosity, you sipped your tea.

“Well… I also have things to compromise, which is not a big deal because… I want to be part of your brother’s life.”

By that, you know it to yourself. When you agree with the marriage, you already see yourself in a different side of life – a life shared with someone who you vowed with your heart to cherish and love. The only person with whom you’re willing to set everything aside and risk things to be with him.

Chiffon leaned against your embrace, touched by your answer, while Brûlée, with food stuffed in her mouth, chimed in, “I always – no – all of us will forever wonder how marriage life works for the both of you….”

You laugh heartily at her blatant remark. “There are just things that you cannot understand, girls… but soon you will,” you smile.

Brûlée chuckles, “I can still remember that he said almost the same thing.”

You glanced at her – astonished. Did your husband talk about you with his siblings? You cannot see him being like that… even in the house you share with him, he’s different. Nonetheless, Charlotte Katakuri never fails to subside your doubts whenever you think of one; he may be thousands of kilometers away. Still, somehow, he can always make a way to connect with you in every possible way. Honestly, he continues to leave your thoughts at bay. This demeanor of Katakuri is what you’ve been holding onto that tiniest shade of light you see in this marriage.

The girls didn’t stay too long, although they insisted on waiting until you fell asleep. You refused because you were really not ready to rest. It was also getting late, so they had to return to their own shelter because there were responsibilities to do once the sun rose.

Once they left, you started to clean and brew another tea. It has been a long day, but some of you wanted to stay in the living room. You took a blanket and covered yourself as the coldness started to make its way under your clothes. For the past five months, it became your routine to simply sit over a cup of tea with a book in your hand and wait until it is late enough for you to stand up and head to your chamber.

Despite the comfort of the silence and being alone in the middle of the night, words cannot digest in your mind, for your intuition is somewhere in the conversation with Chiffon and Brûlée earlier. You cannot help but think about your answers.

Everything you said is the truth, but when you try to contemplate it… somehow it feels almost illusory.

You thought back on the days of your life before being married.

Political marriage is a thing for powerful families, and you’re familiar with it. When your father broke the news over a fraught dinner, no one was surprised… instead all of your siblings simply nodded, questioning who would be the chosen one while you just silently listened.

As your name left your father’s mouth, everyone was astonished, but mostly, it was you who was lost for words. You have siblings who are far prettier and more adventurous than you are, but it was nerve-wracking when your father shared that the Emperor of the Sea specifically chose you.

Your family is a product of political marriage; as much as you wanted to see the love between your parents, you failed. Being the youngest, your father was very strict with you, which you cannot understand, but you could tell it was mainly because you looked like his wife who ran away from his land.

The marriage was a yes-only answer; when the Emperor of the Sea speaks, no one can say no – or if there’s one, it takes a lot of courage; it sparks a war. But you’re no warrior, just a lady with the blood of royalty of vast influence that the emperor needs.

Since you were young, you knew about the Navy, Emperors, and pirates because of his distrust of you not to run away. He brought you with him to Whole Cake Island whenever he met with the residing Yonkou – Big Mom. You will forever be aghast by the sight of the island and how everything is paradise, everyone was friendly, and you have become accustomed to their treatment to the point that they allowed you to enter their workplace and even baked with them.

You’re a good cook. Being almost restricted to the outside, you busied yourself with cooking. When Big Mom took a liking to your baked cupcakes, that was also the time she became fond of you – which was also a good thing for this political marriage. She can be the worst nightmare for everyone, but she appears to be delicate and sweet whenever it is with you. However, you’re like everyone in her eyes on some occasions.

You shifted position and took notice of the symbolism of your union with Big Mom’s son, bringing you back to your senses. He inserted the ring on your finger with no words to say, yet his actions were enough for you to feel over the moon.

“I could never regret this decision,” you mumbled, smiling as you traced the gems of your wedding ring.

No matter how you think this marriage was your escape from the life you had come to feel suffocated, it is no secret that Katakuri took your hand and led you to a new promising one. He is known to be the strongest general, the ideal brother of his siblings, and you cannot in any way taint his image as the perfect son and sibling. Before you came into his life, there was his family, and you wholeheartedly accepted it.

Katakuri has been away for five months, and you’ve been married for half a year. In the first month, he was at the main island, primarily due to his duties, and when he came home, it would be late… too late that you would fall asleep waiting for him and wake up in your room with him already gone. That series of actions became the routine of the two of you, no matter how you look at it… you just cannot hate your husband.

It has always been like that until now. For the past six months, you waited for Katakuri every night, even when he asked for your permission (despite believing that your words have no power over your mother-in-law), that he’ll be gone for five months. You were waiting for him.

Sometimes, when the sun rises, you bring yourself to your chamber and drift to sleep. Each night seems tiresome, but your determination to see him first once he’s back winning over your weary system.

Your in-laws have no idea about this, Brûlée would sometimes express her distress over you - staying up late, but you would just answer her as you’re not yet tired. In reality, you were just waiting for your man.

Life with him is way different from what you anticipated, but you do know it is bound to happen as he is a man of responsibility. But with the series of absences, you would have concluded that perhaps… he did marry you out of convenience? Or was it just you who thought that this might turn out differently?

From the book you’ve read, different genres, and authors, you had come to believe the hope in everything, and right now, you were clinging to the faith of this marriage.

Compromise. It is one of the things you compromise; you chose to understand him. Above everyone, now that he is married, isn’t his wife’s job to believe in him? Be at his back and support him in everything? You understand him. Never in each second did you resent him for the odd interactions where you are sleeping soundly while being carried by him back to the room shared by the two of you? His responsibility is still his to take, even being tied to you. The least you could do is not add another to his plate, for he already has too much.

Katakuri never raised a hand against you… as a matter of fact, he’s different from what you expected; the subtle treatment of him each night is a message of his affection for you… but you know there is more to it, but his responsibilities should be met first. His siblings are way too expressive than your own husband, at least to their knowledge. However, knowing Katakuri for years, you could tell the emotions that lie in those demeanors. However, due to his schedule, there was little to no exchange of conversations with you, which is beyond belief; you thought it might change someday, but it just worsened.

But it is what it is.

“When will you be back?” you mumbled, staring at the ring almost sorrowfully.

Charlotte Katakuri, a man of few words and the man you vowed to love for eternity, has been away for almost all the days of being married. Although it was the start of something new, you cannot help but imagine that you were falling right into where your parents’ relationship is.

It is clear as bright as the sun that you’re missing your husband, but what else could you do other than wait? You have been waiting since your marriage, how you always stay late in the living room with the hope you’ll see his manly figure entering the house… but no.

At some time during the first month of marriage, you were doing as you do as of the moment. There were times that Katakuri was surprised to see you – awake waiting for him. The two of you would eventually spend the night over a cup of tea or in bed in a warm embrace and exchange of perception on deep topics worth discussing. Katakuri is a man of few words, but much to everyone’s oblivion with you, he can be the most talkative person you love to converse on a topic because he is a man with substance and intellect; you just love to be lost in his thoughts.

Those are rare moments; in most cases, you just fell asleep waiting for him.

Hugging your knees while staring at the ring and thinking about this marriage life took your energy, and you drifted to sleep, hoping that your husband would come home this night. The longing is burning you out that seeing him seems to be next to impossible.

The bed is empty without him – everything is just too different. The deafening silence of your longing for him starts to make its way. You were waiting for him all these times, silently. Somehow, right now, saying it would probably ease you in any way it can.

“I miss you,” you softly mumbled before slumber’s darkness overtook you.

Being married to Charlotte Katakuri is a roller coaster of emotions; he could lift you to the top of the Skypiea similarly and drown you more extensively than the Fish-Man Island. But because he’s the man you never regret marrying, everything about him is worth compromising.

cont.

#one piece x reader #one piece x you #katakuri scenario #katakuricharlotte #charlotte katakuri #big mom #whole cake island #one piece #katakuri x you #katakuri x y/n #katakuri x reader

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that-tumble-weed-blog · 1 year

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The time super friends accidentally became a PolyCule?

Thanks to a mix of @lena-in-a-red-dress and https://archiveofourown.org/series/2166966 for this idea. When the worlds merged, there were a few exceptions. One of those is the National City Big Belly Burger of what was Earth 38. All of who, came to work on Monday and carried on as normal, mostly, the only thing was a small addendum to their file. “Do not mention the previous timeline, people have forgotten.” That would have been it, had they not seen the friends plus Barry enter. Now, after the events of everything that had come to pass Barry expected not to be remembered. He’d planned on it, He was going to pay. That was until they asked him how he was, and surprised him by calling him Barry, and then confirming that they knew him as Kara’s other cousin, not the other one with glasses. He looked baffled. Luckily, the Girl behind the counter, Ashley, was a long term member of staff and rang up the order for everyone without batting an eye. Ashley smiled and replied. “Ms. Luthor is still paying for the food. It’s an automatic thing, I’m afraid.” She smiled sadly at him as if she understood his plight. “It’s part of the system. She maybe an ex of the group, but she hasn’t stopped paying.” As Barry Allen sat down to let everyone know about the development Ashley offered the group a small smile. She had no intention of sharing her personal thought to the group, no matter who may be with whom, she did, however retrieve her poly pride badge and clip it to her uniform. Helping getting their large order ready she helped Daniel and Ricardo in carrying the order over. Of course the three cute nerdy guys, Barry, the one they called Brainy (Rule 4 don’t ask about the ‘nicknames’ - Rule 7 stop adding “ around Nicknames, we get it.) and Winn (Rule 5 Winn is not his father) spotted the flag with the Pi symbol in it. Winn was the first to speak. “That’s a cool pin!” He yammered. Ashley smiled softly and replied. “Thanks! I know we don’t post flags up outside but we do support a lot of different communities.” She saw Alex looking at her skeptically. “If you want,” she added, “you could have it?” Offering it to Win he smiled and put it on. Grinning at the others. Ashley smiled and returned to the till and started helping clean as she waited for the next customer Two minutes later Alex stood at the till. Ashley would admit that the woman scared her, but then all of that group scared her in some way. (Rule 2 ignore any odd traits the friend group has - Rule 3 Kara may be supergirl, no you may not ask). “Why did you give Winn a polyamourous pride flag?” She asked, exasperatedly. “i... Uh” Ashley swallowed before she realised that both Daniel and Ricardo were not near enough to help. “W-well, I... I kind of thought that well, you may not all be romantically interested in each other, but well... Kara and Brainy seemed to click a while ago, then Kara and James, James dated Lena for a brief time as well as James and Winn, not to mention James seemed to click with Kara’s cousin who is dating one of your-” She stopped at Alex’s grimace and hand. “I get it.” She drawled icily. “No, we aren’t a poly group, or, whatever you call it...” “Polycule” Ashley supplied Meekly. “Polycule.” She corrected. “We... I... This, no, I’m going to have a chat with my friends and we’re going to never bring this up... Please?” Rule 287 They are not a polycule. They are just accidentally connected. No. do not ask. It doesn’t matter who is sleeping with whom. Do not bring it up.

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ambystoman · 5 months

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Magellany (Redo) (Nebulite)

Move out of the way, here comes the greatest adventurer in the whole damn galaxy: Magellany!

"Just call me Mag!"

She is brave, strong and... acts before thinking. She gets irritated easily, especially when people get in her way, calling them get-in-the-ways. Magellany is very rude and honest, never holding back on any comments.

She is a Nebulite, a peculiar species of sentient nebulae. Her body composition makes it possible to morph into any form as she wishes. She is not confined to a humanoid body. Her preferred weapon is her trusty Scimistar.

This magical sword is a projection of her soul which is located on her chest, in the shape of a crystal. Her power comes from this object and is also her weak point.

Nebulites have incredible capabilities for Cosmic Magic. While not on the same level as someone like Mr. Sky, they are capable of creating spontaneous life. They do so to help with tasks or do jobs that might be dangerous for them. These rudimentary organisms can last as long as the user needs them to. Their intelligence is very limited though.

Nebulites. Mag and her older sister depicted here

She is not good with this ability though since nobody taught her and so the most she can do is use raw life energy to create primitive beings that she uses as weapons.

In Soul Trail, her special attack is making a little dude that goes in a straight line and damages far away opponents. Once I restart development I plan on adding more of this ability to her move set.

She claims to hear voices from space. Her favorite animals are tarantulas and she really likes long sleeved clothing along with robes.

Random works of her made over the years

Backstory

She lives in a solitary planet with her older sister, Nube. Their parents are long gone and so her sister takes care of her and usually does what is best for her. Mag attends navigation classes at some kind of academy and she hates it there. Often daydreaming of what could be is she were able to sail out into space on a ship of her own with treasures to find, foes to defeat, and people to befriend. All in her own way without anyone telling her what to do.

Beneath all her harshness hides a lonely girl who only wants friends and a life she can have control over. Her short-lived creations are the only creatures who stay by her side.

Her creations only live for minutes. She likes to sit on the roof of her house and talk to them

One day something really big would happen that would change her whole life...

Inspiration

As mentioned in the post, she is a nebula; a space cloud. She is meant to be the Magellanic Cloud (hence her name) and her coloration is taken from NGC 2074. The powers Nebulites have of creating life is a reference to how all planets are born from nebulae, this could eventually lead to the creation of life within these planets.

She was the first character made for this project and has gone through some changes over the years.

NGC 2074. Fun fact, this photo was taken in my birthday! (Photo credit to NASA)

As for her clothes and design, I was really into Kirby at the time and so many of my early designs sort of looked like spacey Kirby-ish inspired creatures.

This was a much needed redo of my first post on Tumblr.

Her very first drawing. Made in 2019. She used to have a sort of visible skull.

Mildly annoyed. Drawn by @blaz-art

Addendum

It just came to me her outfit was totally inspired by Toon Link from The Legend of Zelda along with her proportions and body shape. Idk why I forgot lol.

Pretty busy at the moment still btw, but still making stuff.

#3d modeling #blender #original character #digital art #art #original oc #gamedev #space #soul trail #ambystoman #lowpoly #nebula #large magellanic cloud #small magellanic cloud

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phoenixyfriend · 1 year

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Star Wars AU Masterlist: Time-Travel

So, it turns out tumblr has a Maximum number of links you can have on one post… and I hit that limit. Several times. So… multiple masterlists.

Main Masterlist

Currently this list is separated into:

Time Travel AUs in the Wider AUs masterlist

Jangosoka

Ahsoka-focused

Disaster Trio (one or more, exclusing Ahsoka solos or Vader solos)

Original Trilogy cast

Other

Time Travel AUs in the Wider AUs or Big League posts:

* Fake Spontaneous Training Bond

Uncle Ben and Little Luke

* Sandstorm Verse

* Obi-Wan Declares Himself Dad-Shaped

* Anakin and the Jedi Babies

* Rex and Anakin Raise a Family

Commander Buir: an excuse to let Cody be dad-shaped

* Dimension Hopping to an Omegaverse

Fake Sith TCW Trio (7.5k words)

Ghost Vader Shows Up To Help

Time-Travel Bosoka AU

The King the Soldier and the Spy

Parole Officer Fulcrum Steals Three Million Babies

Jangosoka

Fett and Fulcrum

Crack Ship Ahoy: Jango/Ahsoka

* Sugar, Spice, and a Heart to Entice (4.7k words)

Rex Cockblocks Jangosoka (it’s more depressing than it sounds)

Accidental Mand’alor Ahsoka

Jangosoka scarring Obi-Wan for life

Go away, Skyguy!

Something that’s... approaching analysis

The nature of time-travelers and Jango

Jango gets catapulted to “The Book of Boba Fett” and refuses to believe that Boba is Boba, so Ahsoka gets involved

Ahsoka

Ezra and Fulcrum’s Wacky Adventure

Rex and Ahsoka are two halves of the same idiot black ops specialist

Breaking into Kamino

The Girl Who Died at Mortis

Ahsoka/Depa ft. jealous Bo-Katan and jealous Jango

Naming Conventions for time-traveler Ahsoka

Ahsoka’s Terracotta Army, which is honestly mostly @epicmusic42 and @graylinesspam - A wee addendum - New Mando Archaeologist

Disaster Trio (non Ahsoka-solos)

A Knight, a Padawan, a Captain... and Boba, tagged as “Boba and the Torrents”

Obi-Wan adopts Jango by accident - Obi-Wan even lectures Jaster

The Future Assistant Dooku Didn’t Ask For

Are you done talking yet? (now with ficlet by @nevertheless-moving)

Obi-Wan and Anakin as twins

The Nature of Time-Travel Romance (absolutely sucks for you)

My Obi! AU - Addendum

Obitine + Baby Anakin

Inconvenient Crushes - Arguments with Adult Obi

Jaster/Obi

Faustian AU: Anakin and Ahsoka go from TCW Mortis Ep. to TPM-era Kamino, and somehow become the AI that controls Tipoca city

Other Prequels/TCW Travelers

Time-Traveled Clones Give Anakin a Mental Breakdown

Time Travel to Release the Zillo Beast

Bo-Katan is here to ruin fix change everything

Conservation of souls retroactive clone eggs, Thumbelina/Momotaro/Kaguya style

Padme dies and wakes up fourteen again, goes for Sidious’s throat

12yo Shmi Skywalker, with memories of the next 35 years, hijacks a ship and finds Obi-Wan’s parents (one of whom is pregnant)

Cryo Kix wakes up, spends two weeks in the ST, and then falls backwards into TCW

Time-traveler Dooku (trying not to be evil, this time), mostly by @epicmusic42)

Dooku, who is older than Palpatine, travels back far enough that he can grab Young Palpatine for the Temple before Plagueis gets him

Dooku gets punted back to Galidraan. So does Jango.

Vader

Fox and Vader’s Excellent Incredibly Stupid and Homicidal Adventure

Future Emotions AU

Anon suggests Vader shows up in that short period between Amidala’s election as Queen and Palpatine’s election as Chancellor

Why we love Vader time travel fics

Vader and baby Anakin body swap through time

Vader time travels to be baby Anakin again, goes full vegetarian

Another Vader time travel (along with links to a misskirby au that is no longer available on her now-defunct blog)

DarthFett, possibly body swap

The one where Darth Vader travels back in time as a Kitten

Vader Swears Loyalty to a Clone Toddler - With fic on AO3 written by @delightedlymisinformed

Vader lands on Rattatak

Baby Vader (Raised a Sith, mental time-travel) finds padawan Obi-Wan for Help (also Maul is there) - Maul is also an uncle for the Twins

Original Trilogy Cast

Time Travel ft. Leia and Vader

Han & Boba bumped to pre-TCW - Addendum - There’s more now

Luke Collects Last Names

Luke brings a porg

Ghost Aunt Leia

Leia Antilles, Senator of Serenno - Addendum

Leia/Jango (Concord Dawn & Alderaan destruction comparison)

Time-traveled Boba, also this

Han shows up in pre-TPM, accidentally starts Being Dad at his pint-sized father-in-law

Fulcrum is how the twins know their pragmatism was justified even by pre-war standards

Somewhat Estranged ST-era HanLeia and pre-AotC Padme end up on Melida/Daan

De-aged Mandalorian cast (Din, Boba, Fennec, Luke) tossed into the months leading up to AotC

Leia when meeting AotC Anakin

Other

Rey Gives No F*cks About the Grandfather Paradox - Palpatine Tries to Arrange a Marriage - Addendum

Maul: Motherfucker Unlimited

Artoo and Threepio cause problems

Rey ends up in the PT, then Qui-Gon’s new apprentice

Baze/Chirrut messing around with Jinn&Kenobi

Tarre Viszla is reincarnated as Bo-Katan's baby

Cal Kestis drops back to TCW, accidentally derails things because he didn’t know he was Obi-Wan’s bio kid

#star wars #time travel #phoenix posts #masterposts

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magic-the-girlbossing · 1 year

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Let's talk about gender real quick

since the beginning of this ive gotten a lot of posts and comments talking about the gender of the characters featured in this poll. "isn't niv mizzet not a girl?" "i thought ashiok was non-binary" (et cetera, ad infinitum)

I figured I should give a real quick rundown on my ideas about girlbossery.

Most importantly - "girlboss" is not a gender. it is a vibe. i feel like explaining exactly what my version of the girlboss vibe is not helpful or necessary (plus it may influence how people vote on here) but just let it be known that the only thing that makes a character a girlboss in my own mind is if i look at them and their actions and go "okay thats kinda girlboss of them." this is not a gendered feeling

THAT BEING SAID - Jace and Fblthp were included as jokes because i thought the people who submitted them in the initial poll were really funny, Jace being about how he shows up everywhere in magic even though nobody really wants him (sorry Jace fans it's okay I'm a Jace fan too) and Fblthp being about how he always ends up in places he shouldn't be.

On the other hand, I can definitively say that within my own world view, Ashiok and Niv Mizzet categorically have girlboss energy. I watch Ashiok slowly build influence and plant the seeds of a spell that will put Theros into eternal slumber, or Niv Mizzet scheme to absorb the guildpact into himself and I go "wow! girlboss!"

But that's the great thing about it - "girlboss" is relative and it truly depends on your own viewpoint. If you think Ashiok and Niv Mizzet are disqualified from being girlbosses because they're not girls, you're welcome to think that, but it seems that, at least in Ashiok's case, people disagree (Niv was against Jace last round so no word on him yet.)

I hope this clears stuff up and I stop getting this question now

adding a quick addendum here: no it's not nbphobic to refer to ashiok as a girlboss (source: i am non-binary)

#magic the girlbossing

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woodelf68 · 1 year

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MY FIC: RUMBELLE/OUAT, RUSHBELLE, MACELLE, SGU

Posting this because I've been having trouble editing my blog page fic masterlists for the last couple of years, so I'm going to have the blog page just link to this post; it's quicker to update a text post with a new fic vs. going into blog settings anyway.

Rumbelle:

Midnight Confessions — Rumbelle fluff diverging from The Crocodile.

Home — Post-Neverland Rumbelle reunion sex.

To Wash All Cares Away — Rumbelle shower sex. Sequel to Home. Extra scene

Not Beyond Repair — Rumbelle, set after ‘Witch Hunt’. Belle is trapped in the cage with Rumpel.

In The Dark – sequel to Not Beyond Repair. (new!)

Generations — Henry/Gold bonding at Neal’s grave. Angst/fluff mix.

Hot and Cold —Rumbelle smut. A warm summer day and a cold frozen treat.

Simmer — Belle’s got a new string bikini. Rumpel approves. Smut.

Addendum — An extended version of the deleted scene between Henry and Rumpeltiltkin from 4x02.

Dark Lover — Belle confesses a fantasy. Rumbelle smut

In Which Rumpelstiltskin Receives Help From An Unexpected Source — The Rumbelle Deer comes to Rumpel’s aid when Belle forces him across the town line. Because there’s nothing like adding a little crack to canon. Based on the ending of 4x11.

Some Other Floof of July – a sequel to junoinferno’s “Some Other Kiss Me”, Rumpel and Belle see a glimpse of themselves in another reality in a crystal ball. Post season 4 fic.

Spinning – Short season 1 AU fluff.

Brother – Neal might be gone, but he isn’t forgotten. Future Rumbaby fic.

Girls on Film – Photographer!Gold and first-time model!Belle. Rated T

A Fresh Start – Gold needs to turn his aging inn back into a successful enterprise if he wants to help send Bae to college. Their part-time maid Belle is full of ideas and an unexpected surprise.

Reflections – Mirror sex prompt

Poppet – Voodoo doll smut prompt

The Things We Do For Love – Rumpel decides to surprise Belle with an idea from her book on how to spice up one’s love life. Rated T for chapter one and E for Chapter Two here

Just a Dream – Fix-it fic for 6A.

Higher – Rumbaby fluff. “Push me higher, Mommy!”

Wedding Dance – Gideon’s grown up.

The Lesson – Showjumper!Belle and coach!Gold at the Olympics.

The Way Forward – Henry takes adult!Gideon under his wing, and Rumbelle contemplate the future. (canon compliant until the season 6 finale)

Best Beloveds – Young Gideon’s having a bad day. His Papa makes it better.

Prompt: Gideon Loves Trains

Prompt: Baby Gideon gets dressed up

Spinner – Pony!Rumbelle + human!Rumbelle, all in one fic!

A Life Worth Living – Fix-it for 7x04, Beauty. Fills in some of the spaces during Gideon’s first ten years. (TEA winner, best travel fic 2019)

Bright Shining Star – It’s Henry’s birthday. Rumpel makes sure that those who cannot be there are not forgotten.

The Fire Down Below – Spilled lust potion, Dark Castle smut.

Turn On, Tune In, Drop Out - Gold and Belle roleplay as hippies (For some reason this will not link; just search the title on my blog to find it!)

The Spirit Of The Trees – Tree spirit!Rum is awakened by Belle

Tales from the Rumbelle Floofy!verse: In which silliness may occur, Rumpel is the best Grandpa ever, and Neal survives.

Bargain — Henry wants a birthday present for Emma. Gold has just the thing, and a special price for his youngest and cutest customer.

Everyone Needs A Hobby — Rumpelstiltskin really doesn’t like fairies. And they press so beautifully.

Whatever It Takes — All they want is one uninterrupted date.

Manhattan Redux — an alternate scene between Gold and Henry in New York. Gold’s dying, but Henry refuses to let him give up.

Family — How things could have gone in Neverland. Rumpel doesn’t let being squid-inked stop him from rescuing Henry.

Hello, Deerie — Christmas-themed Rumbelle and Floof Family Fluff

To Rise Again — Rumbelle/Nealfire AU. What if Belle had grabbed the dagger instead of Zelena at the Dark Vault? Could Neal have been saved?

The Floof of July — The Floof Family celebrates the Fourth of July in the Gold’s backyard. Part of my ‘verse in which Neal survived..

What The Storm Brought — It was a dark and stormy night. Henry discovers what it left behind.

The Storybrooke Ice Bucket Challenge — Henry’s nominated his grandfathers. Rumpel’s clever enough to see where it could lead.

A Difficulty With Dragons — Rumpelstiltskin won’t let a magical mishap stop him from attending Henry’s school awards ceremony.

Like Father, Like Son — A taste for a certain checked shirt seems to be run in the family. Neal/Henry scene.

Cookies — Family times in the Gold’s kitchen.

Operation: Wolfpack (chapter one) – Henry thinks his parents might just need a helping hand to get them back together. He takes himself out of the way by spending the night at the Gold’s house.

Operation: Wolfpack (chapter two) – Henry spots a couple of familiar faces at the animal shelter. Can he convince his grandparents to adopt not just one but two dogs? And Emma and Neal have news to share.

Trick or Treat – Halloween time at the Gold household with Henry and Neal and a surprise announcement from Belle.

Hunt For The Green Unicorn – The Storybrooke Summer Arts and Crafts Festival and some horned friends becomes part of the Gold family tradition.

Accidental Magic – Future fic. 5 year-old Jenny Gold gets her birthday wish. 2020 TEA winner for best OC Rumbelle child.

RUSHBELLE AND MACELLE:

Consequences — Rushbelle smut

The Saga of Fluffy the Space Unicorn — Rushbelle fluff. Just another day on a new planet.

An Unusual Development — Rushbelle, a little bit crack, a little bit angst. Something is growing out of the center of Rush’s forehead. In other words, unicorn!Rush. CHAPTER TWO

Of Heather Beer and Rubber Duckies – Rushbelle fluff. Belle has a little too much to drink.

Fantasy, With Tongue – Rushbelle smut. Rush wants to hear Belle’s kinkiest fantasy.

The Cave – Rushbelle smut. Rush finds a hidden sea cave when exploring a planet. He invites Belle to come see.

He Creeps Into Dreams — inspired by Bad Faery’s 'And Again'. Belle dreams of her late husband Nick. Or is it just a dream? (NTIC*/pre-Macelle) (*Nick the Incorporeal Creeper, introduced in 'And Again', aka the Nicholas Rush who was forced to Ascend but who took on a life of his own outside the fic helpfully nudging single Belles towards a Bobby character who can make them happy.)

At His Service — Inspired by Bad Faery’s 'And Again'. More blowjobs for Joseph.(Macelle)

SGU:

Prelude – Nick and Gloria Rush’s first morning together as a married couple. (SGU)

Not What It Appears – Rush and Young are trapped in someone’s dream. Naked. Will they do what it takes to get the dream to end? NC-17 (SGU)

#rumbelle fic #rushbelle #macelle #ficwoodelf #stargate:universe #rumpelstiltskin #rumplestiltskin #belle french #once upon a time #sgu #the tournament #father macavoy #nicholas rush #woodelf's fic masterlists #henry mills #neal cassidy #ouat #rumbelle

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jacquelinemerritt · 1 year

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Final Fantasy VII: Machinabridged Episode 5 Review

Originally posted on October 22nd, 2015

Cloud prepares to dress as a woman, and nobody seems to mind.

If you’ve been following my blog for a while, it is likely that you’ll recall that in my review of Dragonball Z: Abridged Episode 15, I criticized Team Four Star for their handling of a character meant to represent trans and masculine women, who after having her gender revealed was subject to many demeaning jokes that sent the message of the inadequacy of women who don’t conform to traditional expectations of femininity (a critique that I still hold to).

And then, you might recall that KaiserNeko, one of the lead writers and editors for DBZA, reblogged my review of that episode, apologizing and explaining that they had mishandled the representation of women like Dodoria unintentionally, and their focus was solely on keeping the situation in character.

I bring this up now because Final Fantasy VII: Machinabridged Episode 5 does an excellent job at showing just how much Team Four Star has grown as writers since the release of DBZA Episode 15, wiping away any concerns I had about how they would handle this part of the story.

See, Final Fantasy VII contains, as an incredibly important part of its plot, a sequence where Cloud must cross-dress and pose as a woman in order to rescue Tifa, and I was worried that the over-the-top caricatures present throughout most of this series would carry over into their handling of the cross-dressing sequence, which could easily lead to harmful jokes at the expense of trans and gender-nonconforming people.

Takahata101 nails it from the very beginning though, and this happens in part due to the presence of Aerith, whose unbridled optimism and supportiveness has her leading Cloud gleefully through the transition process, where someone like Tifa or Barrett would have immediately rejected the idea.

It’s also incredibly meaningful that Cloud is the one to suggest that he cross-dress; while he makes the comment that he could do so off-handedly, it still suggests that posing as the other gender isn’t outside of his comfort zone, and the ease with which Aerith convinces him to go for it provides more evidence for this, and it is finally fully proven that Cloud desires this when he justifies cross-dressing in the terms of how much better than Tifa he would look while he saved her.

It’s also important to note the positive reactions of Giuseppe and the Church of Brodin to Cloud’s desire. Giuseppe has great dresses all around, but as soon as he realizes that it will be Cloud’s first dress, he abandons the rest of his work in order to make the best dress of his life just for him.

Similarly, the Church of Brodin are planning on forcing Cloud into a masculine challenge of strength to obtain a wig, but when they find out that he wants the wig for the sake of (in Aerith’s words) “becoming a woman,” they give it to him without the contest, claiming that it is not their place to question or challenge his lifestyle choice.

It’s interesting as well that the wig, which normally might be seen as an object denoting femininity, has been adopted by a church of ripped, masculine dudes as a symbol of their god’s masculinity, which is a fairly clever inversion of expectations.

Finally, when the members of the Church of Brodin give Cloud the wig, and Squaticles says that no one has the right to discriminate against another person’s lifestyle, Cloud says that he feels that context is needed. Now, I’m just a girl running a film criticism blog and mostly writing about abridged series, but I can’t help but wonder if, just perhaps, that’s a nod to my criticism of DBZA Episode 15. Maybe I’m being a bit presumptive here, but it would actually be pretty amazing if that were the case, as I’d have a definitive example of my writing having an effect on the world, and who doesn’t want that?

Rating: 5/5

If you enjoyed this review, consider supporting me on Patreon.

Stray Observations

I do feel I should add a brief addendum pointing out that crossdressing and being a trans or masculine woman are not the same, but the handling of gender non-conformity in this episode is still excellent.

Cloud: “Aerith, it would appear to me that Tifa has been kidnapped by a Mafia leader with the intention to give her the sex.” Aerith: “Oh no, she can’t do that ‘til she’s married!”

“Am I, the owner of my own store, sure that I have anything else besides drugs? Noooo, I’m pretty sure.”

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transmissionsfromthebattlefield · 8 months

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“Take My Word For It”

Thank god for classes starting up again so that I can pivot my screen time away from people making me lose faith in humanity and towards PDFs of textbooks. The weather is hot and the AC in the library is pumping. Kent State once again brims with life. I tabled at our freshman orientation club fair yesterday—so many little babies, yet over half of the girls seem to be taller than me. (Thanks, genetics.) It really does make my heart swell to be back, though. I am SO pumped.

Aside from classes and Task Force and all my friends and the best burritos in the world, I’m also very excited for the return to basic principles of human interaction. I’ve been people watching a lot online lately. Too much, in fact, and I need to stop. But the emotions and the news are pertinent, and they must be processed. I’ve been seeing a lot of exchanges online lately that are basically negative recommendations. Someone says they don’t care for something for whatever streamlined reason, and someone else agrees with zero visible actual external research on the subject. Asking for recommendations nowadays always has to come with some disclaimer. Disclaimers have become a big part of internet culture in general, and it’s a real shame. Weighing positives and negatives after even just a simple article or two or accepting that a friend likes whatever seems to be a thing of the past, in the digital sphere at least, in favor of following a herd to keep those whom we perceive as our friends or want to be our friends with. Have conspiracy theorists tainted the concept of “doing one’s own research”? Or maybe COVID as a whole wrecked us—we got so used to isolating ourselves from absolutely everyone that it has become second nature to shun anything deemed hypercharged bad buzzword, or alternatively “slime”. It didn’t even take a generation.

You might as well be taking somebody’s world for it, not just their word—one must be in to-tall alignment with the politikal perspektives of their frendos, or else we might have an astrologist’s worst nightmare on a self-worth scale: the planets are out of wack! I’m an idiosyncronous, imperfect ball of flesh on the same planet as many more of the same despite their abject differences from me! Help!

My anxious psyche leads me to distrust humans in general, but I think society has gone too far in its stagnant polarization. We bitch and we fight, to quote crappy post-Roger Waters Pink Floyd (most society as it currently stands is basically “Learning To Fly” on repeat blaring very loud in my ears, I think), and most of the time it’s about how we perceive the influence and morals of actively powerful forces in the world. You can have a great, insightful, constructive conversation about that. But we resort to stereotype and self preservation. And as those gears keep on churning in the background, as they always do and always will, we get nothing done. We forget that we have more in common with one another than we think, while preaching that same concept. But how much do we truly believe the preprogrammed responses we’ve taught ourselves to repeat?

Do we really want a free exchange of ideas, or do we crave that overtone addendum, “but only if they’re the right ones”? Do we even want to be right, or do we always need some abstract, accessible boogeyman to jab at while the powers that be pulling the strings only grow stronger? Do we want to grow stronger ourselves to someday defeat them, or do we succumb to the overwhelming complexity of the world at large and retreat to where we feel safest? Do we seek change, or do we only call for it, not work towards it? We praise the sacrifice of others, but how comfortable would we be with sacrificing ourselves—in any capacity—for the same cause?

Yet when you meet people in person, even these people, they laugh. They actually have senses of humor. They invite, most of the time. And if they repel, they repel. The intention becomes obvious. The experience can be learned from. Another side comes into view, separate from the PR-primed pop star we all fashion ourselves to be, secretly. The blood and guts are there to spill. The humanity is on full display.

And that’s why a damn good conversation beats nameless, faceless, face full of constructed ideological perfection protection any day of the week, regardless of whether or not class is in session.

#blog #rant #virtue signaling #the internet #humanity #human interaction #long post

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posttexasstressdisorder · 4 months

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Dynaco Repair Post No. 4

Thursday evening, 12-21-23, later:

As I was saying, just a little careful polishing and the chassis already looks a lot better. And the can cap is almost exactly same height as the original:

A little more of that shine:

Once the new can was twist-locked into place with the four tabs, it was time to make the physical connections to all four of the terminals, and replacing the old resistors with some flameproof resistors I'd bought for another ST70 I redid about 15 years ago:

And here, finally is everything hooked up, crimped, and ready to be soldered:

Again, the 30-watt pencil is the way to go.

And THAT, believe it or not, completes ALL the repairs I needed to make to the Stereo 70! Now, all I need is a fresh quad of EL-34 output tubes...another $100 I don't have.

Tomorrow, I start in on finishing the PAS. The 12X4 got here, and I have work to do on the replacement switch. Dude had stripped the big flat caps wired in there, so I will have to cannibalize off my old one.

And one last "Glamour Shot", this time with the 7199 driver tubes in place, with the chassis and base shined up nicely:

(And yes, I put these awesome big-ass rubber feet on and it is so much better looking cageless, as well as easier to handle! And I can't help thinking it has to help keep the amp cooler than the original almost non-existent flat button feet.)

Friday evening, Dec 22, 2023

Well, I looked at that 3-wafer switch, and my little "fix" of wrapping wire around the broken bits, and decided I really had nothing to lose by putting the tubes in, including the NOS 12X4 rectifier tube, and attaching some improvised wiring up to my ancient (but still absolutely functional) Altec Lansing computer speakers as an amplifier.

I then dug out the wires for the turntable and its ground, and a functioning 1/8"-to-RCA cord to use as a test for all the other inputs.

IT WORKS!!! WE HAVE PHONO! WE HAVE ALL THE OTHER PERTINENT INPUTS AS WELL! Talk about relieved and elated! WooHOO! At least now I can get back to transcribing my vinyl to SSD via this beautiful critter, my Dual 1219, with Shure M91ED cartridge. Test record? My ancient 45 of "Green Eyed Lady" by Sugarloaf! ROCK OUT ON THAT ORGAN, JERRY CORBETTA!

Plugged the other patchcord into my laptop, and put Miss Nina Simone's "Little Girl Blue" (which I had transcribed before this mess all went down)...and it came through excellent on the "Spare", AM/FM (tuner) input. The only one that sounded a bit off was the 'FM MPX", which was actually only supposed to be one channel of the stereo FM, so that was to be expected, actually.

That 12X4 glowin' fine:

BUT: with the Spare and Phono both functional, as are the tape in/out jacks, I have everything I need, since I have a 3-source external selector box that will turn Spare into three separate additional inputs, thus, I can run my TV and DVD player into the tubes as well.

SO, I can call the PAS3X officially back in business again, and I have a spare source switch if I need it. That is big. I will spend the rest of the time this evening on putting the case back together and doing some more polishing on the ST-70.

SO the only thing we are missing for a Totally Tubular Xmas is a quad of EL34/6CA7 tubes!

More tomorrow as I finish up the detailing on both units.

And I will also show off my speakers that fill an empty spot in the Dynaco speaker line: a beast of my own creation, the speaker that never was, "The A-15" (lulz) I used 8" butyl-surround woofers and SEAS tweeters, encased in actual wood veneer Pioneer speaker cabinets.

The A-10 woofers were 6", and the A-25 were 10", these Pioneer boxes are perfectly sized to be infinite-baffle boxes, the woofers have exactly the right amount of room, and they sound amazing when the Stereo 70 is blasting through them.

AND ADDENDUM, 8:27pm: EL-34s ARE BEING MAILED TOMORROW! My bro over on the east coast is shipping them tomorrow...we will have TUBEAGE for XMAS!

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LINKS TO THE PREVIOUS THREE REPAIR POSTS:

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domesticangel · 4 years

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i just remembered something so funny ok when i was in ap art in high school our class would show work in museums and galleries around the county and more than once my art teacher had to type up a little sign that said something to the effect of “the artist is okay and this is not a cry for help” and tape it up beside my work

#as far as i remember none of it was actually a cry for help i just liked drawing really weird shit!!!#shit like that. technically wasn't allowed in high school but i was kinda her favorite so she kinda let me do whatever i want #with the addendum of posting signage letting jurors and the general public know thati was. not on suicide watch #GHDJSKHGSDKGFHDJKF #16 yr old me looking up from my chalk pastel drawing of a girl tied up and beaten and bruised and bloody: what do you mean 'worrisome'?#txt

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hekateanwitchcraft · 4 years

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An Introduction to Worshipping Medeia

As a Hellenic witch, the worship of Medeia is an important part of my practice. She was a witch and priestess of Hekate, possessing nearly unparalleled knowledge of magic and poisons. I wanted to write this post to give some background on who Medeia is, her role as a witch and a priestess, and how I have come to honor her in my practice.

Who is Medeia?

Parentage

Medeia (Μήδεια) is given mainly two parentages, either Aeetes, son of Helios, and Eidyia, daughter of Oceanus, or Hekate and Aeetes. Hesiod offers us a description of the first, writing:

“To the tireless Sun the renowned Oceanid Perseïs bore Circe and King Aeetes. Aeetes, son of the Sun who makes light for mortals, married by the gods’ design another daughter of Oceanus the unending river, fair-cheeked Idyia; and she bore him the trim-ankled Medea, surrendering in intimacy through golden Aphrodite” (Hesiod 31)

Alternatively, Diodorus names Hekate and Aeetes as her parents, explaining:

“Perses had a daughter, Hecate, and she excelled her father in her brazen lawlessness...She was a keen contriver of mixtures of deadly drugs [pharmaka], and she discovered the so-called aconite. She tested the powers of each drug by mixing it into the food given to strangers...After this she married Aeetes and gave birth to two daughters, Circe and Medea, and also a son Aigialeus” (qtd. in Ogden 78)

Either of these parentages could make sense, but I personally observe the first.

(Art: Medea by Frederick Sandys)

Medeia as the Witch Priestess of Hekate

One of Medeia’s most important roles in literature and myth is that she is a priestess of Hekate and a witch, being called “Medea of the many spells” (Apollonius of Rhodes 109). In most literature there is no way to separate these roles.

She was extremely devoted to Hekate, Apollonius of Rhodes stating that “as a rule she did not spend her time at home, but was busy all day in the temple of Hecate, of whom she was priestess” (116). Euripides also writes that Medea says “I swear it by her, my mistress, whom most I honor and have chosen as partner, Hecate, who dwells in the recesses of my hearth” (Euripides 13). Clearly, the relationship between her and Hekate was very close, and it was said on occasion that she even learned magic from Hekate, Herself. Apollonius of Rhodes writes that “[t]here is a girl living in Aeetes’ palace whom the goddess Hecate has taught to handle with extraordinary skill all the magic herbs that grow on dry land or in running water” (123). Diodorus also claims this, but adds an interesting addendum that attributes to the character of Medeia:

“They report that Medea learned all the powers of drugs from her mother [Hekate] and her sister [Kirke], but her own inclination was the opposite. For she continually saved the strangers that put in from dangers” (qtd. in Ogden 79)

(Art: Medea the Sorceress by Valentine Cameron Prinsep)

Regardless of the origins of her powers, they were no doubt incredible. Apollonius of Rhodes explains that “she can put out a raging fire, she can stop rivers as they roar in spate, arrest a star, and check the movement of the sacred moon” (123). In one instance Apollonius states that “the beautiful Medea spell through the palace, and for her the very doors responding to her hasty incantations swung open of their own accord...From there she meant to reach the temple. She knew the road well enough, having often roamed in that direction searching for corpses and noxious roots, as witches do” (148). This is clearly an indicator that her powers are incredible, but what is even more awe-inspiring is what Apollonius says happens next:

“Rising from the distant east, the Lady Moon [Selene], Titanian goddess, saw the girl wandering distraught, and in wicked glee said to herself: ’So I am not the only one to go astray for love, I that burn for beautiful Endymion and seek him in the Latmian cave. How many times, when I was bent on love, have you disorbed me with your incantations, making the night moonless so that you may practice your beloved witchcraft undisturbed!” (148).

Medeia is said to be able to actually banish the moon Herself from the sky, an unimaginable feat. This is indicative of the degree of power she possesses, having sway over nature itself.

She is most known to have used her knowledge and powers repeatedly to help Jason, her husband, on his quest for the Golden Fleece. The first instance of this was that she made Jason an ointment which would make him invincible. Apollonius describes this in length, writing that:

“She had twelve maids, young as herself and all unmarried...She called them now and told them to yoke the mules to her carriage at once, as she wished them to drive to the spending Temple of Hecate; and while they were getting the carriage ready she took a magic ointment form her box. This salve was named after Prometheus. A man had only to smear it on his body, after procreating the only-begotten Maiden [Hekate] with a midnight offering, to become invulnerable by sword or fire” (131-2)

He continues, detailing the ritual of how she obtained the plant she used to make this ointment:

“Medea, clothed in black, in the gloom of night, had drawn off this juice in a Caspian shell after bathing in seven perennial streams and calling seven times on Brimo, nurse of youth, Brimo, night-wanderer of the underworld, Queen of the dead. The dark earth shook and rumbled underneath the Titan root when it was cute, and Prometheus himself groaned in the anguish of his soul” (132).

Here we see a process that is depicted often, the bathing of Medeia and her ritualistic harvesting of herbs. We also see her here call on Brimo (Βριμω), an epithet of Hekate, in Her role as nurse of the young (Kourotrophos/Κουροτρόφος), night-wanderer (Νυκτιπολος/Nyktipolos), of the Underworld (Χθονιη/Kthonia), and Queen of the Dead (Ανασσα ενεροι/Anassa Eneroi), indicating the importance of Hekate to her witchcraft.

(Art: Jason and Medea by John William Waterhouse)

A similar harvesting of herbs and roots is seen in fragments of Sophocles’ play The Root-Cutters. What we have of the play states that “She [Medea] covers her eyes with her hand and collects up the white-clouded juice that drips from the cut in bronze jars...the covered chests conceal the roots, which this woman reaped, naked, with bronze sickles, while crying out and howling” (qtd. in Ogden 83). Hekate is then said to be “crowned with oak branches and snakes” (qtd. in Ogden 83). Then the women chant “Lord of the sun and holy fire [Helios], sword of Hecate of the roads, which she carries over Olympus as she attends and as she traverses the sacred crossroads of the land, crowned with oak and the woven coils of snakes, falling on her shoulders” (qtd. in Ogden 83). In this short but incredible fragment we see that Medeia calls on both Hekate and Helios, her grandfather, to bless their ritual. We also see a repeat of incantations to harvest magical herbs, and an introduction of her association with bronze.

Another one of Medea’s feats was charming the snake that guarded the Golden Fleece into a slumber. In the Argonautica, Apollonius of Rhodes writes:

“The monster in his sheath of horny scares rolled forward his interminable coils, like the eddies of black smoke that spring from smoldering logs...But as he writhed he saw the maiden take her stand, and heard her in sweet voices invoking Sleep [Hypnos], the conqueror of the gods, to charm him. She also called on the night-wandering queen of the world below [Hekate] to countenance her efforts...the giant snake, enchanted by her song, was soon relaxing the whole length of his serrated spine and smoothing out his multitudinous undulations...Yet his grim head still hovered over them and the cruel jaws threatened to snap them up. But Medea, chanting a spell, dipped a fresh sprig of juniper in her brew and sprinkled his eyes with her most potent drugs and as the all-pervading magic scent spread around his head, sleep fell on him.” (150-1).

(Medea and the Dragon by Maxwell Ashby Armfield)

She was also said to have killed the giant Talos, a gift given to Zeus from Hephaistos, with her witchcraft, specifically the Evil Eye. In this more horrifying passage, it is said that:

“[W]ith incantations, she invoked the Sprits of Death [Keres], the swift hounds of Hades who feed on souls and haunt the lower air to pounce on living men. She sank to her knees and called upon them three times in song, three times with spoken prayers. She steeled herself with their malignity and bewitched the eyes of Talos with the evil in her own. She flung at him the full force of her malevolence, and in an ecstasy of rage she plied him with images of death” (Apollonius of Rhodes 192).

In this passage, she calls on the Keres, and with them is able to use the evil eye to bring immediate death to a direct creation of the gods. This is a horrifying feat, not only for the power it must require, but for her ability to kill in an instant.

Finally, she also is said to have rejuvenated Jason’s father Aeson. In Ovid’s Metamorphoses, Jason pleads with Medea to take years of his own life to give more to his father, but she rejects him saying that Hekate will not allow such a thing to take place. Instead, she offers that through her witchcraft, instead, if Hekate is willing to help her, she may rejuvenate him. Under the full moon, Medeia performs the ritual. She calls on Hekate, Night, the Moon, and Helios to aid her in her task (126-7). A chariot drawn by dragons appears to her and she takes it to gather herbs harvested with her bronze scythe. After nine days and nights, she returns to Jason to perform the ritual. The ritual is extensive and is essentially repeated in full. She builds two altars, one to Hecate and one to Hebe. She also digs two ditches on sacrifices a black sheep into the ditches, also pouring wine and milk into them. She also calls on the “deities of the earth” which may mean deities of the land or chthonic deities, and Hades. Once she appeases these gods and goddesses, she spells Aeson to sleep on a bed of herbs and tells Jason to leave her to perform her magic. She then dips sticks into pools of blood and lights them with the flames on the altars, then purifying the man once with fire, three times with water, and three times with sulfur.

She then adds many herbs, roots, and flowers to her bronze cauldron as well as “hoar frost gathered under the full moon, the wings of the uncanny screech owl with the flesh as well, and the entrails of a werewolf which has the power of changing its wild-beast features into a man’s. There also in the pot is the scaly skin of a slender Cinyphian water-snake, the liver of a long-lived stag, to which she also adds eggs and the head of a crow nine generations old” (Ovid 129). Then, she slits the throat of Aeson and replaced his blood with her potion, finally rejuvenating him.

There is more descriptions of Medeia’s magical feats throughout literature, but these are simply some of the most detailed and famous. She is clearly a very powerful witch and a significant figure within the history of Hekate worship. With her bronze cauldron and chariot of dragons, she is quite awe-inspiring.

(Art: The Sorceress by R. Willis Maddox)

Medeia’s Character

One of the issues we run into with Medeia’s mythos is her defamation and portrayal as a child-murdering and vengeful woman. She is indeed vengeful against Jason, and rightfully so, for he bade her to leave her homeland, murder her brother, and constantly had her aid him with her witchcraft, only to abandon her for another. However, Euripides’ tale of her brutally murdering her children has some criticisms from scholars who note that there are other versions of the tale.

One such tale is that from Apollodorus who writes that “Another tradition is that on her flight she left behind her children, who were still infants, setting them as suppliants on the altar of Hera of the Height; but the Corinthians removed them and wounded them to death” (1.9.28). In the modern era, a scholar named Sarah Illes Johnston, author of Restless Dead and Hekate Soteira, also writes that Medea prays to Hera Akraia to make her children immortal, and Hera either declines or breaks her promise to fulfill this task, leaving the children to die (62-3). Johnston denies the implication of Medea in her children’s death, instead attributing it to circumstances outside her control or by the hand of another.

These different tellings of Medeia’s story fits with the Colchian princess who aids Jason in a much more believable way than the suddenly spiteful women who murders her children. This variation is less popular, the other being popularized perhaps to demonize magic and women of power.

(Art: Medea by Eve De Morgan)

Worshipping Medeia

Now that Medeia’s character and mythological status has been discussed, I think it’s important to talk about how I actually go about worshipping Medeia. I worship Medeia in both divine and ancestral ways, which I suppose could be attributed to methods of hero worship in Ancient Greece. Worshipping Medeia can be done alongside Hekate and/or Helios, as well as alongside Kirke. If you observe the Mighty Dead or Witch Ancestors, she could also be worshipped alongside them.

Offerings

Offerings for Medeia can include wine, frankincense, milk, honey, food, poisons, sacred plants, bronze artifacts, candles, snake parts or figurines and dragon figurines, artifacts of witchcraft, and even Hekate iconography. One could also offer her blood, but that is up to your personal discretion.

Names and Epithets

Names/epithets I call Medeia include ‘Of the Many Spells,’ ‘Vengeful Maiden,’ ‘Witch Priestess of Hekate,’ ‘Medea of Poisons,’ ’She Who Knows All Herbs,’ ‘Giant-Slayer,’ one that could also be said of Hekate, ‘Princess of Colchis,’ ‘Granddaughter of Helios,’ ’Daughter of Sun and Moon,’ one I use to indicate her relationship to Helios and her devotion to Hekate, and Medea Pharmakeia, or Medeia of Witchcraft/Magic.

Sacred Objects

Sacred plants of Medeia could include any poisons, juniper, olive, and aconite specifically. Sacred animals include dragons and snakes. Bronze is also sacred to Medea, as are cauldrons of any kind.

Specializations

Medeia can be called upon for justice and vengeance, especially for spells of justice and vengeance, witchcraft of any kind, to bless herbs, for gardening, for aid in Hekate worship, for the downfall of your enemies, for protection from harm, for protection from snakes, and for guidance in magic.

Prayers to Medeia

Prayer for Medea’s Aid in Witchcraft

Prayer to Medea for Vengeance

Conclusion

In conclusion, while Medeia may not be a part of the usual canon of hero worship, or worship in general, if you are a devotee of Hekate or Helios, worshipping Medeia might be right for you. Likewise, any witch who observes the Hellenic pantheon should give serious thought to venerating Medeia in their practice.

Works Cited:

Medea by Euripides

Magic, Witchcraft, and Ghosts in the Ancient Greek and Roman Worlds by Daniel Ogden

The Voyage of Argo by Apollonius of Rhodes

Theogony by Hesiod

The Library by Apollodorus

The Metamorphoses by Ovid

“Corinthian Medea and the Cult of Hera Akraia” by Sarah Illes Johnston

(Art: Medea Casting Spells by Henry Ferguson)

#Medea #Medea worship #hellenic polytheism #hero worship #witchcraft #witch #paganism #Hekate #hecate #hellenic witchcraft #hellenic heroes

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troquantary · 3 years

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Cutting Hair as Punishment in the Twilight Saga

Okay, I’ve been trying to organize my thoughts around this into a sort-of-essay format for a while, because I find it disturbingly mean-spirited: Meyer has a pattern of using hair-cutting as a form of punishment for characters, especially female characters, who fail to embrace Bella and the Cullens with open arms. I’m talking particularly about Leah and Lauren, both of whom, while not outright antagonists like Victoria or James, are situated along with Rosalie as “against” Bella throughout the series. The Quileute pack, meanwhile, is situated largely “against” the Cullens, meaning Jacob and the rest of the pack get the Haircut of Shame, too.

(Also, I’ve been creeping through @panlight ‘s blog because I thought she had a recent post relating to this -- I was probably thinking of this submission and her addendum, which does discuss Meyer’s “punishment” of certain characters, but that post was about characters suffering for not waiting for True Love, or daring to do the Devil’s Tango before marriage. Still, it’s on-theme and very much worth reading, like all her stuff!)

So here’s the general outline: first I’m gonna talk about the shapeshifters and how their overall lack of choice frames cutting their hair as something forced on them and therefore punitive. Then I’m going to discuss Meyer’s FAQ response where she reveals that Lauren was tricked into cutting off most of her hair over the summer before New Moon, and how this adds an extra fun misogynistic element to the hair-cutting theme with respect to Lauren and Leah. I also use way too many words to do it, sorry.

Punishment | The Shapeshifters Are Given No Other Option

I don’t have the background or knowledge to discuss the significance of long hair to indigenous culture and identity in detail, and my understanding is that different tribes ascribe different meanings to it. What I’ve read it about it suggests that, generally, long hair represents strength of one’s individual spirit and of the community. It��s a source of pride, and is only cut off voluntarily in extraordinary circumstances, often as an expression of grief, or to mark a significant life change.

This sort of works in the context of the shapeshifters all cutting their hair -- phasing into a giant wolf, discovering the existence of the supernatural, and assuming the role of protectors is a major life event for these characters. But the negative associations make it a troubling choice on Meyer’s part, and that’s without even getting into the problem of her imposing her own worldbuilding onto the legends and culture of a real tribe. Because of the lack of choice involved in becoming a shapeshifter, the whole situation feels like a scenario in which the Quileute characters have their hair forcibly cut -- a degrading and traumatic act that (depending on their particular tribal belief) might symbolically sever them from their sense of cultural identity and connection with the rest of their tribe.

It all kind of begs the question: why does Meyer even have shapeshifting work this way? What narrative utility is there in having the length of their hair in human form determine the length of their fur as wolves, thereby compelling the shapeshifters to cut it so it isn’t a physical impediment? It’s another sign of the changes in Jacob, sure, but he’s already being uncharacteristically cold and distant, plus suddenly has the physique of a fit twenty-five-year-old; Bella already knows something’s very wrong. His short hair is just another jarring thing for Bella to notice and mourn, like the loss of Jacob’s “baby face” and general sunniness.

It does work as a symbolic thing, representing another sacrifice Jacob has to make and the change in how he now has to perceive himself -- but he’s already got a literal giant wolf form to represent that change in identity/self-perception. Forcing him to cut his hair too just feels like piling on. My argument here, which I hope will be supported when I discuss Lauren and Leah further in, is that it’s not just piling on, but actively punitive -- because much like Leah and Lauren are “against” Bella, the pack at large is “against” the Cullens pretty much through the end of the series.

The Quileute pack is definitely not a Cullen fanclub. The entire purpose of their existence is to destroy vampires, and the truce they have with the Cullens isn’t friendly. They still don’t particularly like or trust the Cullens even after allying with them in Eclipse, and in Breaking Dawn Sam is fully prepared to go to war against them to enforce the treaty. Bella expresses frustration with Jacob and the pack for not appreciating the Cullens more, yet is curiously less willing to scold Alice, Edward, or Rosalie when they call the Quileutes dogs and complain about their smell. (I think she might reprimand Edward for it at some point, but I don’t remember the exact passage.) Bella even starts throwing around “dog” and “mutt” as an insult herself -- I think we know whose side ol’ “Switzerland” is on, here, and whose side Meyer is on as well. The Quileutes aren’t exactly enemies, and in fact are crucial to the Cullens’ survival in both the newborn and Volutri conflicts, but they’re punished nonetheless because they aren’t wholeheartedly Team Cullen from the get-go.

So to explain why I’m so convinced that there’s a link between hair-cutting and punishment in particular, let’s talk about Lauren. There’s a definite gendered element to it this time, too -- by being tricked into cutting her hair, Lauren isn’t just diminished/shamed, but rendered (*thunderclap*) unfeminine.

Lauren Was Rude To Bella Like Twice, Let’s Humiliate Her

I think Meyer’s answer to the question “What happened to Lauren’s hair?” on her FAQ page speaks for itself:

Ha ha. I had fun imagining this one—I only wished that it had fit into the book somewhere. Lauren fell victim to the “model discovered in the mall” scam. An alleged modeling agent approached Lauren in a mall in Victoria, B.C., and told her she was a natural model. Lauren ate it up. The agent told her that if she did something edgy with her hair, and took some high quality head shots, her future was assured. Lauren followed the instructions—dropping fifteen grand on the pictures taken by the agent’s partner—and waited for her career to begin. She’s still waiting. Snort.

It’s pretty obvious that this was done spitefully. Here’s the list of Lauren’s crimes against humanity Bella at this point in the series: 1) she was jealous of the attention Bella was getting as the new girl; 2) she talked behind Bella’s back once, saying Bella might as well just sit with the Cullens now (and she isn’t wrong); 3) she eyed Bella “scornfully” the day of the La Push beach trip; and perhaps most damningly, 4) she’s blonde.

Post-haircut, she has the gall not to be thrilled that Bella’s deigning to speak to the lowly non-Cullens again, then sides with Jessica after Bella uses Jessica to make a point to her dad, is shitty company, and then risks getting them both raped and murdered in Port Angeles so she could get off on her hallucination of Edward’s voice.

I think it’s pretty common knowledge that long hair is tied to patriarchal notions of femininity and attractiveness. Women with short hair are still derided for being ugly, or assumed to be lesbians in a derogatory sense, or simply considered less feminine and therefore less desirable/worthy (because a woman’s worth depends on her desirability, after all). For many women and girls, losing their long hair -- whether because of illness, or gum getting stuck in it, or whatever -- is very upsetting and a hard blow to their self-esteem. Just look at Alice as an example of Traumatic Short Hair; her hair was shorn like that because she received electroshock “treatments” in an asylum. (Although in Alice’s case, I don’t think her having short hair is punishment, but a facet of the traumatic backstory all female characters in Twilight have to have for some reason. Plus, she started the series with short hair, which distinguishes her from the pack and Lauren, who were tricked or compelled into cutting their long hair during the series.)

But Lauren’s so bitchy, so she deserves it, right? Ha ha, she was mean to Bella and cared about her appearance too much, so now she’s ~ugly!

Leah Has It the Worst and It Makes Me Want To Burn Everything

The misogynistic aspect of hair-cutting as punishment is taken up to like, twelve with Leah. Not only does she suffer for being “against” the Cullens along with the rest of the pack (and Bella, too, so extra sinning), but she suffers uniquely for being the only female shapeshifter. A bunch of teenage boys regularly see her naked body against her will. Her previously devoted boyfriend imprints on her cousin/best friend, Sam dumps her and can’t even explain why, and the whole pack -- including her own brother -- resents her for being upset about it, even though she can’t help the lack of mental privacy. Because of that same lack of mental privacy, she has to hear every gripe the boys have about her, plus every enthralled thought Sam has about Emily while she’s still deeply wounded by their breakup.

She blames herself for her dad’s death, because she phased at the wrong time. We don’t get any indication that her fellow shapeshifters or the elders are trying to reassure her otherwise.

And of course, because she’s a shapeshifter, she has to cut her hair. In addition, because Leah’s a woman, this has the same misogynistic connotations as it did with Lauren. In Leah’s case, though, the de-feminization is compounded by her sudden infertility. It’s clear that Leah attaches her sense of womanhood to her fertility, rightly or wrongly -- she bitterly calls herself a “genetic dead end” in Breaking Dawn and thinks of herself as a freak. She feels like there must be something wrong with her, some un-womanly flaw, that made her one of the shapeshifters at all.

Then, just when Jacob starts to see her as a human being worthy of compassion, he imprints on Renesmee and doesn’t give a shit about anyone or anything else anymore. No more bonding with Leah, no blooming friendship to help her heal and come to terms with the new realities of her life. (This is one of those dropped threads that aggravate me to no end -- what was the point of having Leah opening up to Jacob, or starting Jacob on the path of realizing he was being a dick to her this whole time and that she’s a person with value, if he was just going to spend the rest of the book as Renesmee’s love-zombie and never think about it again? Disgusting.)

Leah was a lot more forgiving of Jacob than he deserved at that point in the story, for all the good it did her -- I think she’s mentioned maybe once in Book 3 of Breaking Dawn. At least she got her god-tier moment of yelling at a deranged, pregnant Bella Swan.

Speaking of Bella...

I’m just going to note, for no particular reason, that in Breaking Dawn we get to hear explicitly that Bella’s got hair that falls “almost to her waist” and that she looks like “a freaking supermodel” because she’s so “beautiful and pale.” It just strikes me as a telling contrast at this point.

#twilight renaissance #i stared too long and the twilight abyss gazed back #leah clearwater #lauren mallory #jacob black #the wolf pack #long post #i felt myself getting petty about bella okay -- i'm aware it's happening but i have no self control #i also know i sidestepped the racial element to this and it's because i don't feel qualified to speak on it #so any additions from more knowledgeable people on that score are much appreciated

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itsstrangelypermanent · 2 years

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Let's talk about helmets and hair

I'm going to preface this entire thing with some disclaimers.

1. I have a lot of hair, but its thin, white-Irish girl hair. Yes, I know. It's green. Thanks for noticing. 2. My prop helmet has had absolutely zero post-print processing, and is held together by blue painters tape so I could start working out designs and fits. As such, it is NOT 100% accurate, but more than sufficient to demonstrate its true size when fully assembled. 3. Addendum to #2 - there is ZERO padding inside, evidenced in one of the pictures. 4. It is a 1:1 scale, designed for a male (human :D) of approximate canon height. It's a commercially available - both the print and the .stl file. I did not print this myself, as my printbed isn't quite big enough for it, but bought it from the creator himself. 5. I work in a cleanroom. For those unaware, that means I basically go through a form of decontamination every time I enter the workroom floor, and we wear Resident Evil type white suits (minus the giant spacesuit helmets.). We wear hoods over our hair to prevent FM (free matter) contamination. Why is this relevant? It is, trust me.

AND now that I have that out of the way, let's begin, shall we?

I am all for clones having their own private individualities. I adore the fanon/canon beliefs that they embrace body art (and I'll include hair styles/coloration into this) to make them unique, them. Kix and Keeli with their ridiculous shaved patterns (canon), Thorn and Hound having dyed/bleached hair respectively (fanon), the absolute myriad of both canon and fanon tattoos... while I honestly and truly believe the writers of TCW had zero intent for it meaning more than "oh hey, let's give Crys blond hair in this episode so we can tell him apart when we do shots from the shoulders up" and "gee whiz, Fives and Echo look exactly alike when they stand next to each other, let's pop a tattoo on Five's fat head so our audience can be spoon-feed who is who" -- well, sorry guys, it had more implications than that.

So past clone tattoos, which as a connoisseur of tattoos in genral, I could write pages on... let's focus on hair. Specifically, let's talk about the practicalities of having long hair as a clone trooper.

That's just it.

There aren't any.

Behold. A helmet. (Also, a cat. Her name is Duchess Helga.)

Specifically, a Phase II clone commander helmet, minus the greeblies that make it a commander helmet. Those bits aren't relevant for this as they do nothing to affect internal fit. As mentioned, its 1:1 scale, and unless you have some weird bulbous protrusions, it should fit a generally normal sized post-puberty human.

Also observe: Zero post-print processing. There's been no filling or sanding. This is as raw as that chicken Gordon Ramsey is constantly screeching about. Important - there is no padding. I can't repeat this often enough. Padding can be expected to add anywhere from half an inch to a full 2", depending on how you want it to fit, how big your noggin is, etc. Think: bike helmet.

Exhibit the Third: Hair. Standard, semi-long hair. Hits my shoulder blades, maybe just a touch past since my ends are split and terrible.

This is with my hair loose, down my back. Please note that I don't generally wear my contacts if I'm not working these days, and my glasses very much do not fit under. That's fine. Canonically, there are no glasses-wearing clones that I can think of, save Tech, and well... I'm not even going to touch that with a 10' pole. I was vaguely satisfied that I actually ended up in frame, since I couldn't see what I was doing.

The inside bowl of the helmet is sitting on the top of my head, I'm just holding it still since there's nothing internally there to help that yet. It rests just on my shoulders, as-is.

(protip: if you're doing something like this yourself, make sure all your tape, if you have any looping into the inside, is completely down and not sticking up. Painter's tape does not like to come off of hair, but alas, we must suffer for our art.)

Now we have all that out of the way, let's talk clones. Specifically, let's talk Tup.

Canonically, he has majestic hair, if a questionable male-pattern-baldness/Vegata (it's over 9000?!?!) hairline. (That's not coming from me, that's coming from my brother, who suffers similarly.)

Here is a Tup.

This was one of the best angles of his hair I could find, and has the benefit of one of our favorite ARCs. Note the bun, and how high it is on the crown of his head.

Let's science.

Simple wrap bun. Basic pony, take the tail and twist, then use whatever random scrunchie or elastic that comes to hand to secure it. This is low on the back of my neck. I generally wear my hair for work around this height because it's easiest for me to put up, and around the house about the same because I wear a lot of ball caps. Remember how I mentioned working in a cleanroom and wearing a hood over my hair? With my hair down low like that, I can wear a size medium hood, the standard generic, "typical" size expected for someone of my height and build.

Without resorting to pixel measurements (I am not MatPat), visually, the... density? size? of my hair appears similar to what Tup sports.

Ignore my foot, this isn't that kind of post.

So, with my hair down low, the helmet does not fit. Not anywhere close. Unseen, but relevant: my nose now has a scrape on it because I tried to finagle my way in. Bun was rather unforgiving unless I wanted to rip out chunks of my hair. I did eventually manage to cram myself in, but it was distinctly unpleasant. The cap of the helmet did not rest on the top of my head - the bun basically wedged my face against the visor part of the helmet.

Remember: no internal padding.

(You gotta have buns, hun.)

Once I freed my hair from its blue, sticky prison, I took another look at my file of Tup reference pictures. He wears his bun way up high, on the crown of his head.

So, with the not-very-helpful assistance of my cat who kept trying to eat my elastics, I put mine up in approximately the same place. Yes, I know my hair looks like a rat's nest, I hadn't been up for long when I took this... it's very much bed-head. Also god DAMN the gray :sobs:

After a few adjustments (I rarely wear my hair up this high, it took a moment to adjust it), I tried the helmet again.

Success!

Or not.

So, the pros... I got my head in.

That's about it.

Cons: My nose is very much mashed against the "teeth" part and, well... hair. Hair takes up space, be it in your helmet or in your bathroom drain. My bun is absolutely mashed to the top of the helmet, and my rough measurements of it's height are 3.5-4" seem to correlate to what Tup has. I actually had to pull the helmet down a bit because otherwise my chin would be hanging out - that's how badly the height of my hair affected the fit.

Remember how I mentioned I normally wear a medium hood at work? if I wear my hair with my bun anywhere north of my ears, I have to go to a size large. I'm in that hood for 10 hours out of 12, and the discomfort of my hair binding on the back of my head is just vile. Also, I'd have a line across my forehead where the seam of the eye-hole section of the hood is, and that's just not cool.

And that's with fabric, which inherently has some give to it.

Finally, and again, there's no padding in the helmet. It's bare PLA on the inside, plain, simple, somewhat fragile white plastic filament. In fact, I'd go so far as to wager that PLA/PET/typical 3D print filaments have more give to them than "plastoid" does.

So. Where does this leave us?

For me, it's (and Lordy Lordy I dislike using buzzword bingo words like this) immersion breaking. It's just not practical, and between the Mandalorian heritage and the Kaminoans being what they are, I can't imagine extensive hair styling, at least of the having lots of it variety, to be a thing. Helmets are one-size-fits-all, with the only real distinctions being different "classes" - ARFs, command-types, phase I/phase II, pilot-specific, etc. One clone head can fit into every helmet, every helmet can fit onto every clone head. I can't imagine that the standard-issue helmets would have any sort of adjustable padding, either. Further, there's electronics in canon helmets - HUDs, etc. That takes up space.

To try to keep my meandering to a minimum, I'll narrow this. I can't imagine a clone, a being who's in their armor far more often than they're out of it, voluntarily being that uncomfortable for that long, when there are other methods of expressing individuality. Now, that's not to say that some wouldn't - pain is pleasure kind of nonsense, the need to do something to break the mold. I get that. BUT... I would see them in the incredibly vast minority. The physical discomfort would be a big thing, as would... well, helmets come with instruction manuals and warnings. Not wearing a helmet properly puts you at potentially more risk of injury should something happen. I can't imagine a commander, a medic, a brother knowingly let another brother go into a combat situation with a potentially life-saving piece of equipment not fitting right because he wants to have fluffy hair, not when there are other options. Hair color, shaving it, tattoos, piercings... all would seem to be viable and valid alternatives.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaand this has been my TEDTalk on why clone hair as portrayed is broken as fuck and quite possibly the most unrealistic thing in the series. Little green men playing with energy swords is ok. Clones of a space Polynesian (I'm going to use that term broadly, it's not meant to offend anyone, but more to bring attention to physicality) with BEAUTIFULLY LUSH HAIR cramming said BEAUTIFULLY LUSH HAIR into overly-tight helmets just isn't.

#tcw #swtcw #the clones deserved better #tup #I'm so bad at tagging #deep thoughts #I need to unknot my hair now #beffs.talks

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