#also I told her my favorite album is evermore and she said I looked like an evermore girl so I'm just fully glowing from that interaction | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

amortentiaparker · 3 years

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RED (and blue) + p. parker series

+ chapter seven

→ Y/N, a swiftie, jokingly reposts the “Red (Taylor’s Version) boyfriend application form” on her instagram story.

The details are as follows: Looking for a boyfriend for the last week of August to the month of November- right before RED (Taylor’s version) drops to be exact. Applicant needs to make me fall in love with you immensely and you are required to break me like a promise before the deadline.

And somehow Peter Parker finds himself as the top candidate.

pairing: peter parker x fem!reader

warnings: mentions of alcohol, swearing, cheesy pop culture references

word count: 10.5k (buckle up ladies, gents, and non binary friends)

A/N: welp here we go!! so sorry for the lack of update the past two weeks(?) i am awful at math and keeping up with the construct that is time,, but also we are already halfway thru the thirteen chaps and i hope you will like this part!!

series masterlist + my masterlist

buy me a ko-fi?

six | seven

The decathlon practice questions weren't as hard as this one: what are you going to dress up as on Halloween?

Flash had sent the group chat into a spiral when he said that he'll be hosting a Halloween party this year. You were all freaked out because last year, after a failed attempt at inviting Spider-man to his Halloween party, Flash promised not to throw another one. Yet, he confessed that his optimism returned when you told him the story of your two brief encounters with the Avenger.

Your friend group was a unique composition and Flash was definitely the one that brings the flair for dramatics to the table. And in this case, Flash always goes full blast when it comes to Halloween costumes and he wanted everyone attending to put in the same effort. Technically, there wasn't a list but if you showed up to the front door with a half-assed outfit, you weren't going to be let in.

Just last week, you and Cindy were talking about how relieved you were to not go through the difficulties of picking a costume, and now you were in an empty school bathroom brainstorming for ideas.

"Oooh! We should go as our favorite Taylor album," You suggested, confident with your idea. "Or we'd go as folklore and evermore."

"That's really cute, but aren't you going to get a couples costume with Peter?" Cindy asked as she applied on some lip balm.

Her words left you stunned. Flash had announced the party through text just this morning and with all your stress at the prospect of finding a good enough costume, you didn't stop to think if Peter wanted to go with matching outfits.

"You didn't tell him?" Cindy turned to look at you before she snickered. "Or were you too busy shoving your tongue down his throat?"

"Cin!" You shouted, face starting to warm at her words. "Of course I told him earlier but the bell rang and--"

"And didn't give you two enough time to fix up?" Your best friend continued. "I saw the lip gloss on his lips, y'know. The exact shade you're wearing right now, hmm."

"Stop it," You managed to say just exactly before the bell rang. For the first time today, the sound actually relieved you instead of making you mad. You just hoped you didn't look flustered when you exit the bathroom.

You only had one class with Peter today, with it being P.E means it doesn't promise any time to talk to each other. So with that, the two of you decided to... make the most out of the morning before the bell rang.

Ever since the day of your first kiss, there was a significant shift between you and Peter. You felt a lot more at ease seeing as the kiss sealed the deal and you no longer had to walk on eggshells around him. You shared a "proper" kiss before he left your apartment the day he asked you to be his girlfriend. After that, everything was bliss. You also noticed that Peter was a lot more confident too, acting on his words instead of leaving it as banter. Being told that you were going to be kissed and him following up on it wasn't something you were opposed to anyways.

Seeing that attempting to talk to Peter during gym was a bust, the next time you got a glimpse of him was during decathlon practice. Glimpse was the best word to describe it because Mr. Harrington and MJ singled you out, drilling you with questions that sounded familiar from Sophomore year to new ones that you struggled with. Despite their efforts of telling you that you have their whole support, you still felt the pressure especially with the competition being a month away.

Mr. Harrington's hopes of you accepting all the difficult questions certainly didn't help. In the split seconds you had the time to zone out, only one thought repeated in your mind. The doubt in yourself. What if time didn't bring you to the best version of yourself? What if all the medals and awards you had won for the school all those years ago was the best you were gonna get?

"Not bad, babe."

"Thank you, H," You said, nothing but adoration in your voice. "Not just for coming today, but for everything."

Your gratitude was welcomed with a kiss. Harry laced your fingers together as he led you out of the auditorium hall and towards the parking area where his driver was waiting. You were on a high, having won a special award for participating in this decathlon event and with Harry finally attending to watch you after months of asking.

The memory left a bittersweet taste. You remember how much cheering your teammates did for you, the messages from your parents saying how proud they were, and with Harry finally showing some liking for decathlon. Until he made you quit. Because apparently you didn't have time for him anymore even if he was the one running around playing with dangerous science in his Father's laboratory.

Decathlon means a lot to you because it pushes you to work hard but it always rewarded you in the end. You're also really grateful for the friendships you have formed with your peers. They have always been yours and each other's support system in all things decathlon, but a little loving from your significant other would have been nice.

"Where are you?"

You didn't want to get frustrated, you felt like you didn't have the right to. But it was your first anniversary, you donning a new dress. Sure you were young, but you were in love. You were entitled to going out to celebrate.

"I'll be right there, babe, I'm so sorry," Harry said in a desperate voice. You knew it from when he'd let himself break down and rant to you about the pressure his surname brought him.

"It's okay. Are you alright?" You most certainly weren't but you knew that your boyfriend needed to be checked up on.

"I'm.." He started. "I'm fine. I'll see you, okay?"

Harry promised that he'll make reservations especially after seeing you sulk over leaving academic decathlon. How convenient that he pressured you into leaving when your anniversary date was right around the corner. You felt guilt eat you alive when you assumed that he did it on purpose. Harry was kind to you, but then again when it comes to him, everything is strategically planned. The only thing keeping hope in your heart was his promise of seeing you in this candlelit restaurant.

But you didn't see him.

You were waiting for him to burst through the door with the lopsided smile that you loved so much. Despite the looks a few servers in the expensive restaurant gave you, you pursued. You kept your eye on the door, just waiting for him to walk in.

He was already long gone when you realized that the blame for your heartbreak was on you.

"Y/N?"

Your head snaps back up to see Mr. Harrington's expectant face. He said that if you got this one right, everybody would get to leave early. Great, more pressure.

It was unfair to Peter that you had moments where you thought of Harry. But in your defense, it was always linked to decathlon. The blonde boy had taken it away from you, and now that you had that piece of yourself back, you were afraid it was going to be ripped from your hands once more. You never really understood why decathlon was the thing that Harry went after. Maybe it was because it took most of your time? Or his best friend's? Looking back, you knew it was unfair that he took out that irrational problem on you.

Thankfully, you managed to answer the question correctly. The encouraging claps from your friends should have put your mind at ease but it did the exact opposite. You stepped off the platform and rushed towards your bag to check up on your notes. You mumbled inaudible goodbyes to your friends as you scanned index cards after index cards and let them know that you'll be fine going home on your own.

"Y/N, are you free tonight?" The sound of Peter's voice gave a little calm in the storm brewing in your head.

"I thought you were hanging out with Ned?" You asked, still skimming over your notes. "Don't let me get in the way of your date."

"You can join us for Star Wars, Y/N!" Ned chimed in.

As tempting as it sounded to hang out with your boyfriend, you knew that you had to study first. All you could muster was an apologetic smile at Ned.

"I'd love nothing more," You smiled a little before looking back down at the papers in your hands, "But I gotta study and prepare."

If you were looking up, you would have watched Peter and Ned exchanging a silent conversation between them, the other knowing exactly what the other wants without a single word. Ned left the classroom, leaving only you and Peter inside.

"Baby," He started. "You know that you can take a break, right?"

"I know that," You sighed, shoulders slumped. "But I have to do this. I haven't earned anything to-"

"Hey!" Peter said. You would have been startled if it wasn't for his concerned look and doe eyes. "None of that. You deserve to be part, again, of decathlon. You've never missed a single practice, you kill it every time and-"

Peter didn't get to finish his pep talk because you swiftly placed a hand on his cheek and pulled him in for a kiss. It was chaste but it was a symbol of your gratitude. This boy had been nothing but sweet to you, either as a friend or partner. The word boyfriend still left a giddy feeling in your stomach. It brought a flush over the both of you when you address Peter as such.

"I can't." Your voice wobbled as you looked into his captivating brown eyes.

You had some sense of self-awareness to know that you have been running yourself to the ground when it came to studying for decathlon on top of other exams and assignments. But you couldn't live with another failure. The team took you back despite you leaving them for such a stupid reason and there is this need to prove yourself worthy of your place.

Warm hands found its place around your waist and pulled you in. The comfort that Peter's hug brought you to wave a white flag against your stubbornness. You deserve to take a moment for yourself and once you get back to studying, you'd feel better than ever.

You nuzzled your face into the crook of Peter's neck and he let out a satisfied hum that reverberated in his chest that was pressed against yours. The palms of his hands moved like gentle waves of the sea across the expanse of your back. Its calm presence would have lulled you to sleep if it weren't for Peter speaking up.

"Is that a yes?" Peter asked, one hand finding the back of your neck to softly rub the tension away.

Your eyes fluttered close at the sensation but you managed to tease anyway, "Hmm, but I can't crash my boyfriend's date with his boyfriend."

"I'm sure Ned won't mind." Peter chuckled.

You only nodded before pulling away to fix your things. Ever the chivalrous gentleman, Peter slung your bag over his shoulders. You often find yourself daydreaming about how strong Peter is. That little date at the grocery store a few weeks ago still gets you flustered.

Ned was waiting by the lockers outside of the classroom and his contagious grin spread even wider when he saw that you and Peter were approaching him, hand in hand.

"Yes! Finally a new perspective on one of the greatest movie franchises of all time," Ned said.

Taking the bus was surprisingly good today despite the after-work hours rush. Ned was on another seat as he insisted he didn't want to third wheel as Peter laid his head on your shoulder.

"I like it when you call me that," Peter said, suddenly.

"Call you what?" You asked, fiddling with Peter's fingers using your own.

"Boyfriend," He said with a grin. "Your boyfriend."

Peter's resumé should really have 'being able to make Y/N Y/L/N smile no matter what' as a core skill of his.

"I like saying it," You replied, "I like it when you call me baby."

You broke out into song, "But don't call me kid, don't call me baby."

Peter let out a burst of laughter so loud most of the passengers in the bus turned to look. Ned was the onlooker with the brightest smile. He was feeling pretty smug for playing matchmaker

The thought of Peter's Aunt May didn't even occur to you until you were standing outside his apartment's door. It would be your first time in the place meaning it would also be your first time meeting her. As if sensing your nervousness, Peter grabbed your hand in one of his while the other was opening the door.

"May's not home," He said to you and Ned, but you knew it was his way of reassuring you.

Peter led you to the living room and let Ned set up while he went to the kitchen to grab some snacks and drinks.

You could tell that Ned was already familiar with the crooks and crannies of the Parker household. He knew exactly which cabinet to pull the TV remote control out of and how to operate it. You were glad that Peter had a true best friend.

As Peter returned from the kitchen with a bowl of delicious-smelling popcorn, you fidgeted in your seat. The couch was comfy, and it seemed to accommodate three people at best, but Ned had already taken a seat by the carpeted floor. With somebody else being around, you got shy at the fact that you had the urge to cuddle with Peter. You two haven't done it before.

"Hey, you good?" Peter asked as he sat next to you. Not too far away but not close enough for your knees to touch.

You only nodded, hoping the warmth in your cheeks would fade.

The opening credits started to play and the three of you fell silent. You could feel the eyes of both boys on you as if waiting for a reaction.

"If you have any questions, let me know," Ned said and you chuckled in response as Peter lightly tapped his foot against Ned's side.

"That's supposed to be my job," Peter whined.

"It can both be ours!" Ned retorted which left you giggling for a few seconds before you were shushed with a finger to your lips by Peter.

Around ten minutes in, you had to peel your eyes away from the screen to Peter who seemed to be.. fighting an itch?

You could tell he was trying to be subtle with his movements but you still decided to lay a hand on his knee and quietly ask him if he was alright. His nods were a little too quick and you knew how much energy this boy had in him.

"Do you, uhm," You glanced at Ned who was intently watching the film before leaning in to whisper into Peter's ear, "Do you want to cuddle?"

Peter nodded again, but this time he didn't look so hesitant. It was obvious that you two didn't know where to start. With the both of you not having cuddled somebody else, except for a pillow, in quite some time.

Eventually, Peter lifted one arm up, silently asking you to curl up on his side as to not disturb Ned, who was still minding his business and munching on popcorn.

You settled into Peter's side and his arm draped over your shoulders, his fingers immediately drawing heart shapes on your forearm. It's so comfortable in your position that you fought the urge to fall asleep by the crook of Peter's neck since Ned had started talking about different fun facts during the filming of this particular Star Wars movie. There was a faint hint of lavender by his soft hoodie.

You tried to chime in your compliments to the movie by giving simple "woahs" and "that's really cool" and you didn't notice how Peter wasn't even paying attention to the movie in the first place. All he could look at was you.

Movie nights wasn't your ideal way of winding down, but you felt infinitely better by simply being in Peter's presence and how his best friend has welcomed you with open arms. To be fair, he was the one to fill in the form that got you and Peter together in the first place.

"Well, I gotta go," Ned announced as the credits started to roll.

You pouted, wanting to watch the next movie with Ned's amusing commentary. Peter also thought that the movie night would stretch out until one of you passes out in the living room, but apparently, Ned's mom wants him home for a special dinner.

"I want a special dinner too," Peter pouted and you laughed as you stared at the wrappers of snickers scattered on the coffee table.

"We're broke teenagers, Pete." Peter's frown did a whole 360 at the sound of the nickname.

After putting everything back in its proper place, Peter turned to you with an outstretched hand. You took it without hesitation.

"C'mon," He said, not giving you a chance to pull away when he grabbed two sets of keys by the hooks on the door whilst dragging you with him.

"Where are we going?" You asked as the two of you descended down one of the fire exits.

Peter kept quiet and a few moments later of you trying to keep up with him, you ended up in the apartment complex's parking space. He fished out one of the keys in his pocket, pressed on it, and one of the car's headlights blinked on.

"Does May know about this?" You said to Peter as you noticed the neck pillow on the driver's seat with an embroidered M.

"No, but she won't mind," Peter shrugged and opened the car door for you. "I hope."

"What do you mean you hope-?" Peter cut you off by closing the door shut and you huffed, not wanting Peter getting into trouble with his Aunt.

"Calm down, baby." Peter said with a wink as he slid into the driver's seat.

"Now you're just using that to your advantage," You huffed again, stiffening at Peter leaning over you to strap your seat belt on.

"You've been doing so much school work," Peter replied as he started putting the keys into the engine. "You deserve to relax."

Even though you granted yourself the same sentiment earlier, the thought of the decathlon competition arriving so soon wouldn't allow you to take a breather.

"And I did," You started as Peter backed the car. "I had fun watching your favorite movie and if you're not taking me home then stop this vehicle."

You felt guilty for your words but the guilt for not doing your best regarding decathlon was even stronger. You couldn't let anyone down again. If not your teammates, then yourself.

You turned to look at Peter slowly, scared to see if he was scowling, but it was the complete opposite. He had this optimistic gleam in his eye and a tiny smile on his pink lips.

"Just thirty minutes at the place, please, then I promise I'll drive you home," He pleaded. "I'll quiz you on the way and on the drive back if that helps."

"That's actually-" You slumped back in your seat. "That's actually really smart."

True to his word, Peter racked his brain for any common, old, and difficult decathlon question. You got them right every time. You told Peter to stop the practice after he called you good girl. You weren't sure if your breathing evened out after that.

There was still a ten-minute drive left before the destination so Peter suggested you plug your phone in and play your music.

"Is Taylor Swift okay?" You asked, pulling up the music app on your phone.

"For any and every occasion," Peter said with a cheeky grin.

You and Peter were singing along to the music as the city passed by in a blur. You laid your head on the window and closed your eyes, voice starting to get quieter and letting Peter's echo in the car. He had a very lovely voice. Your heart swelled at the thought that no boy has ever sung along to cheesy love songs with you and here was Peter, doing it while on the way to taking you to a special place.

"We're here," Peter said and you felt the car stop.

You could tell where you were, it being a popular park in Queens. You've been here once or twice in passing with some friends. With the moon high in the sky, it was difficult to marvel in the beauty of the place, but with the help of a few trusty street lamps, you could see the autumn leaves on the ground and spot the lake in the distance.

"I figured it was the nearest place but it's already closed," Peter started saying, a hint of disappointment in his tone, "I thought we could open the backseat and stuff."

You stepped out of the car before Peter the gentleman could protest, and you held your breath in awe. It was perfect, no matter if the actual park grounds were closed. The car was parked underneath a huge tree that sprouted red-orange leaves. You breathed in the cool air and felt a gust of wind slightly pick up your hair.

As you took in the wonderful feeling of the cold, you didn't notice Peter had stepped out of the car and made his way to you.

"You're going to get sick," He warned, but adding a playful squeeze on your nose as a sign of his affection. "C'mon, there's blankets."

You followed Peter and he opened the trunk, and lo and behold, there were piles of blankets scattered in the back of the car. It was a variety of wool, quilts, and homemade knits. Peter grabbed a pile in his hands and let you sit down first before he situated himself next to you.

He took a smaller cotton blanket and draped it over your shoulders. You didn't even notice that you left your jacket in his house. As Peter was untangling one of his old hoodies that got mixed with a knitted blanket, you wordlessly leaned your head on his shoulder. Peter stopped muttering his little curses at the tangled material and relaxed at your warmth.

Peter draped a bigger, fuzzier blanket on top of both his and your legs before he settled down by your side. Underneath the blanket, you reached for his left hand and laced them together. His fingertips were calloused but his hand was smooth overall. Save for a scar you could feel by his knuckles. You knew there's a story behind it and you will ask when the time is right, not if Peter beats you to it and tells you. For now, this was enough.

It was silent, only the faint sounds of the city you call home echoing in a few minute intervals. In the dim light, you could make out the faint fogs of your breaths swirl in the cold October air. It was silent, but it was home. You didn't mind letting the autumn leaves falling into place fill the quiet. Peter seemed utterly at ease too based on the steady rise and fall of his chest.

You could feel Peter start to trace the back of your hand with his thumb, like he always does. You sunk in further into his chest and even though the clock struck past thirty minutes, you stayed.

The serene moment was broken when Peter's phone started ringing. You caught a glimpse and saw the name Happy Hogan on the caller ID.

It was obvious that Peter wasn't expecting the call by the furrow of his eyebrows.

"Hello?"

Peter still had his arm around you as he listened to Happy talk. You could make out some muffled words by your close proximity and you were happy that Peter trusted you like this. You remember how unpleasant it was to be ushered out of the room for a curt one minute call.

"Shit, okay, I'll be back quickly." Peter's words caught you off guard and your mind immediately went to thinking that May had gotten into a bad situation.

"What's wrong? Is May alright?" You asked, scrambling to fold the blankets properly.

"No," Peter sighed and he immediately sensed your panic. "No! I mean, she's alright. Just.. mad?"

"Oh no," You weren't daft. "When you basically kidnapped me I thought your Aunt May knew that you were taking her car!"

"I didn't kidnap you," Peter rolled his eyes. "You went with your boyfriend who, well technically, I kid—carjacked the car."

"Oh no," You repeated. "This is gonna be my first time meeting your family and I'm already disappointing them!"

Peter turned to you and clutched your shoulders in a soft grasp, "May's just going to lecture me, it's okay. She's gonna love you."

You weren't convinced but considering how much of a sweetheart Aunt May sounded in Peter's stories, you had to give the benefit of the doubt.

The car ride was silent and you knew that it was making Peter anxious. You plugged in your phone once more and put on the Lover album to uplift the mood.

"Pete?" You finally spoke after minutes of fidgeting with your fingers.

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry I said you kidnapped me. You just wanted to make me feel better and you did. You really did," You rambled. "Thank you for tonight."

Peter hit the brakes as the light turned red and then turned in his seat to look at you. He glowed, even if it was simply underneath the city lights.

"No need to apologize, I knew you were only joking," Peter assured you with a quick peck to your cheek. "I'm glad you had fun."

"I did," You bit your lip. "Even though we are now heading into impending doom."

Peter laughed as he stepped on the gas, "May doesn't know that you're with me. She just thinks I took the car on my own, so again, don't you worry your pretty little head; she'll love you."

You gasped, "So I'm an accomplice to a crime?"

"And will be asked to testify." Peter finished, running along with your joking nature.

The atmosphere in the car seemed lighter, even though you were still nervous. This wasn't your ideal first time meeting with Peter's Aunt May but there's no turning back. You could only put on a brave face and hope that she'll like you for who you are and most importantly for her nephew.

The familiar facade of Peter's apartment complex came into view and you gulped. Peter placed his hand on your thigh and when you didn't push it away, he kept it there as some way to keep you relaxed.

It took you a few minutes to finally remove your seatbelt even after Peter has finished parking the car.

"Ready?" Peter asked, hands immediately finding yours as you stepped out of the car.

"No." Was all you could say and you clung to Peter's adorable laughter as if it could steady your uneasiness.

Peter pressed the button of his floor number and luckily you were the only ones in the elevator. He pressed a kiss on your temple as the metal box started its ascent.

"Still not ready." You piped in as you arrived on his floor.

Your boyfriend was unable to respond when the door swung open to a red-faced May Parker.

"Peter Benjamin!" She started. "I cannot believe you-- haven't introduced the lovely Y/N to me."

Peter chuckled at how May was startled by your presence and how quickly she shut off her sermon mode. You elbowed his side before you reached your hand out.

"Me too, Mrs. Parker. It's nice to finally meet you," You said as you shook hands. "Peter has some groveling to do."

"Oh, he definitely does," She glared at him but you could see that she wasn't fully mad at her nephew. Not now, at least. "And you can call me May, sweetheart. Come in."

"I would love to, Mrs- May, but I have to get home or my parents will kill me." You wanted nothing more than to stay and chat with the lovely woman but it was getting late into the night.

"But your stuff's inside, baby," Peter reminded you. "We'll get them and I'll bring you home, is that okay?"

You nodded and followed both of the Parker's inside their home. May headed for the kitchen and you saw that a man was sitting by one of the dining table chairs.

"Is that--"

"Yep, that's Happy. Here," Peter handed you your tote bag and jacket before calling out to the couple in the kitchen, "I'm bringing Y/N home! Don't worry I won't be driving, we'll be walking."

"Don't get us jumped." You snickered.

"Never with Peter, trust me," May chimed in. She handed you a tumbler. "Some tea to keep you warm. Peter told me that's your favorite."

You turned to look at Peter with your wide-eyed gaze, pure adoration oozing from your heart. He has your favorite tea at his place? In his home?

"Thank you, May," You gratefully accepted the container from her.

Peter placed his hand on the small of your back and guided you out towards the door. He said goodbye to May and Happy before he completely turned to you.

Under the fluorescent lights of the hallway, he still managed to have that glint in his eyes that made your heart speed up. You suddenly remembered something.

"Hey, Pete?" You called out.

He hummed in response so you continued after taking a deep breath, "Do you want to go to Flash's Halloween party with me?"

"He's still doing that?" Peter asked, no hint of malice in his voice and just pure curiosity that made you laugh.

"Yeah, he is," You shrugged. "Not even Spider-man rejecting him could crush his Halloween spirit."

Peter only smiled at that, "I'd love to go with you."

It felt as if the unspoken question lingered in the air and you just had to let it out, "I know it's super cliché but would you.. want to-- uhm-"

Peter found it adorable that this time it was you who was tripping over their words. You were still trying to string together a proper sentence when he cupped your cheeks to shush you from your rambling.

"Matching costume?" He asked and all you could do was nod. Peter gave your cheeks a squeeze and he giggled at the sight, "Again, I'd love to."

The walk back to your place consisted of you and Peter brainstorming for ideas, yet always falling short. Some were too cliché, while others were a little difficult and expensive to put together. It was safe to say you were sleepy when you finally arrived home. A little tired, but the day you had took a complete turn for the better. Peter made it better.

"What's with the pout?" May chuckled as she placed the freshly baked cookies on your respective plates.

The night Peter walked you back from his place, May texted him, asking when you're free. She said that she wants to get to know you better and it hit you like a freight train; the Parker's were accepting you with open arms. You can't say the same about the family of your ex-boyfriend.

You and Peter decided to let the remaining school days pass and have you come over during the weekend.

"We don't know what to wear for Halloween," You said, starting to laugh at the frustrated look on Peter's face.

"Easy," May shrugged. "Go as Spider-Man."

Your eyes widened and you could see Peter and May's faces do the same. You didn't know Peter was a Spider-man fanatic. Oh how delightful, you thought. This will either fully bond Flash and him together or go back to square one over some machismo pride.

"May!" Peter exclaimed, expression morphing between alarmed and fearful.

"I didn't know you were a fan of Spider-man, Petey." You cooed and some of the tension managed to visibly leave him.

"No-I— May, this is your fault," Peter sighed. "Besides, we're going as a couple. If I go as him then who would Y/N be?"

As a couple made your heart skip a beat.

"Yeah and Flash will have your head," You piped in. Peter gave you a "not helping" look.

May hummed to herself in thought, bringing a finger up to her chin.

"How about you two watch movies or, I don't know, look at clothes then see if inspiration strikes." Oh, so every Parker is just a genius huh?

"That's a good idea!" You beamed, unaware of Peter's loving gaze on your face. "I've been wanting to go to some thrift shops. If that's okay?"

Peter sat up straighter when you turned to him and as always, resembled an adorable puppy with his wide-eyed gaze. He nodded and squeezed your hand under the table to let you know that he wanted the same thing.

Turns out, you didn't need to wait for another day for your plans. May had left to meet with Happy, which Peter had made funny faux gag noises to since technically the boyfriend was his boss. There was still a few hours before the sun goes down and you and Peter took the opportunity to head to a few nearby thrift shops local to Queens.

It was as if you were in a movie montage, haphazardly throwing on different top hats, that looked clean of course, and goofing around with the random pieces of clothing.

Peter had gone down to the men's section on the other side of the store, waiting for quote on quote, inspiration, to strike.

You were doing the same, arms getting tired from moving mostly heavy jackets around to get a glimpse at some piece that you think would make a good Halloween costume.

The store was playing Taylor Swift, much to your delight, and your head was in the music, your feet just moving on their own to bring you to pieces of clothing that caught your attention.

As you hummed to the familiar tune of Dress, the universe managed to play a trick on you once more and had you gaping at a beautiful blue dress.

A character idea immediately popped up in your head as if a light bulb had lit. The dress was mostly baby blue, with faint white lace embroidery to give it more texture. The half sleeves and waist belt were in dark navy blue silk to add more dimension and color. You plucked the dress from where it was situated by the hanger.

You took a few steps to step in front of a floor-length mirror. You placed the dress over your figure and you smiled as it looked like it would be a perfect fit. Its hem was by your ankles and you grabbed the skirt to give a little swish. It was perfect.

A simple half-up, half-down hairdo would work and finding a hair bow that matched the blue of the dress would be easy. It was your first time getting to pick what you'd do for a couples costume and you just hoped Peter would like the idea.

"Darling."

You clutched the dress tighter in surprise as Peter's voice came out of nowhere.

"What?" You asked, letting out a breath that got stuck in your throat when you were taken off guard.

Peter always claimed to be mediocre at all things P.E but every single time, he manages to contradict himself with his agility and reflexes.

You held your breath in anticipation as Peter's eyes flickered from the dress in your hands and then back to your face. He had a knowing smile on his face and you saw it even more up close as Peter only stopped approaching when your faces were nearly touching.

He tucked a stray piece of hair behind your ear and stayed silent for a few moments. His eyes tracing your features as if it was such an interesting painting.

"Wendy Darling," Peter said. "I love it."

Your nose scrunched up in glee. You would never get tired of how much you and Peter had this way of knowing the other's thoughts so well. It applied to everything from such bizarre Halloween ideas and to secrets.

"Really?" You whispered, Peter's face still close to you. "You don't think it's cliché, Peter P?"

"I think it's brilliant," Peter whispered back, one hand now cupping your cheek. "You're brilliant."

"I would hope so, I do go to the top science school in New—"

Your words were interrupted with Peter pressing his lips to yours. The kiss had the butterflies in your stomach go into a frenzy.

"I will need your help though because green is not my color." Peter said, breathless in between kisses.

You pulled back to let out a laugh, "How do you feel about tights?"

"Eh, I'm more of a spandex guy." Peter joked before pulling you back in for another heart-stopping kiss.

"Will pants be okay?" Peter asked as he pulled away, "I saw a nice green pair over there."

"Pants are perfect," You chuckled, keeping Peter's face close to yours as you cupped his cheeks. "It's the hat we really need to perfect."

"May can handle that just fine," Was the last comment from your boyfriend before he pulled you back in.

The tables have been turned and now it was Cindy you were trying to comfort about decathlon. You were studying in the library when she received the news that her parents were going to attend the event next month and it had her stressing out in the past ten minutes.

"Deep breaths in, Cin, okay?" You stroked her hair as she laid her upper body across your lap. "Here, I'll do it with you."

You inhaled and exhaled to demonstrate and after a few times, Cindy had finally managed to calm down and sit up again. She grabbed her water bottle and took long gulps.

"Flash's booze tomorrow better be good." Cindy said.

You were suddenly struck with the realization that Halloween is tomorrow. With the end of October nearing, Mr. Harrington and MJ had everyone working double time. You sneaked in online shopping for your accessories when you had the free time to do it, and so did Peter. You got the blue dress from the thrift shop while Peter bought the pair of forest green denim pants that were in good condition. You protested against him making May make his little props but it was a futile attempt when the lady herself said she was already working on it during the one Saturday you were at the Parker household.

"What are you wearing for tomorrow?" You asked, attempting to clear Cindy's mind of the pressure from her parents.

"It's unfair since you won't tell me yours," She pouted as she grabbed her backpack that was seated on another chair. "But guess."

Cindy placed a tube of red lipstick, heart shaped sunglasses, and a pair of clip on bangs that matched her dark hair color. You gasped; it wasn't difficult to tell what the items meant.

"It's too good to pass up! I mean I already have the lipstick and shades, but also I know you saw her announcement about the tracklist!" Cindy gushed. "Honestly just put this together after seeing it."

You grinned, glad that your best friend took your suggestion to heart. The rest of the hour went by with you two talking about what re-recorded song you're most excited to hear. You really should've picked up your index cards again, but it almost felt like an unspoken agreement between you and Cindy that you'd grant yourself a little time to indulge.

Turns out, Peter was a lot more cheesy than you were. He suggested that you shouldn't see each other's costumes until he picked you up to go to Flash's house. Luckily this time, May let him use her car with permission.

You were making sure that nothing was out of its place, the blue ribbon in your hair, the lipgloss Peter said he really likes, and that all your necessities where in your white lace purse, when a knock came. You pulled open the door to see Peter.

You bit your lip to stop from grinning but ultimately failed. He looked adorable. With the plain green shirt with the little cuts by the sleeves which you could tell was a do it yourself job, the familiar pants held by a thick brown belt on the loops, and brown loafers. Peter's costume looked wearable but that's not what truly caught your attention. It was that his usual poofy set of curls were down, almost giving him bangs, and a cute triangular hat, that looked a little small for a teenage boy like him, was on his head.

"You're so cute, Peter." You finally let out and he sighed in relief for a moment before groaning.

"May kept saying that," Peter grumbled, but his pout dissappeared when you gave him a quick kiss on the lips. "You look beautiful, Wendy."

Your cheeks warmed at his words and you stepped out of your apartment as to not be late. But considering it was a high school party, it wouldn't really matter.

You noticed that neither of you had a jacket, but Peter didn't seem to be bothered by the cold. He immediately turned on the heating in the car though. This time, you let the local radio station fill the car with Halloween tunes and you were having the time of your life mimicking monster voices with Peter. You were already on a high without even having to consume anything. You were going to allow yourself to drink a little bit just to let loose, you deserved it after the grueling weeks of study and practice.

As if reading your mind, Peter reached over the console to grab your hand, "Are you going to drink tonight?"

"I-well.." You fumbled. "I wanted to? But I don't want to hold you back or anything so if you need me to be sober I will, but I am a bad driver so-"

"Y/N, it's fine! You don't need to ask me permission for those kinds of things, okay?" You knew what Peter was talking about. "And don't worry about me. I have a really high tolerance."

Flash's house was already blaring with music but you knew it still wasn't jampacked. Multicolored lights were seeping through the open windows and you could feel the faint bass of the music pounding in your chest. The exterior was decorated with pumpkins in different sizes, typical fake cobwebs strewn over the windows, and on its walls were different masks from famous horror movies.

Some other people looked unrecognizable in their costume, but others you made out to be your schoolmates. You saw Jason first by the patio, donning an all black outfit with his hair spiked and as you approached, you could see some fake blood by his lip and temple.

"Jason!" You called out as Peter followed behind you.

He looked taken aback when he first spotted you but his lips curled into a smile, "Why, greetings and salutations, Wendy and Peter. Very clever."

"Thank you," You smiled back. "Which Jason are you this year?"

Every Halloween, Jason showed up as a famous person or character with the same name as him. Last year he was Voorhees, the previous one before that was Bourne.

"I cannot believe you didn't catch my reference," He placed his hand over his chest. "I'm Jason Dean!"

"Oh!" You laughed as you finally saw the reason to the all black ensemble. "I don't know if you should find yourself a Veronica though. Not safe these days."

Jason just laughed and patted Peter by the shoulders, "You got yourself a clever one, Pan."

Peter blushed and you knew it was because he still had the tendency to get shy around your friends. As himself, no problem, but as your boyfriend? It was obvious he was still nervous despite hanging out at lunch almost every day.

You made your way inside the house and by the music alone, you could tell that Flash hasn't taken up the position of DJ just yet. Your suspicions were confirmed when you saw him by one of the tables that had many bowls that held different types of candies. It wasn't hard to spot him either.

"Hey, that's my boss." Peter whispered in your ear, making you laugh.

"Mr. Stark! It is such an honor to meet you." You said as you tapped Flash's red metal-clad shoulders.

"Ha, ha, very funny," Your friend rolled his eyes as he shooed away an obviously drunk boy away from the table, "I swear to god, William, if you throw up on this table again, I will end you!"

“I thought you were done with Spider-man?” Peter asked as Flash finally turned towards your direction.

“Isn’t it obvious that I’m not him?” Flash sassed, gesturing to the glowing thing by his chest.

“You’re dressed like his boss,” Peter shrugged.

“Whatever, Parker,” Flash paused. “Or should I call you Pan? Nice costume by the way. Though Y/N is the one carrying for the two of you.”

“Oh, hush,” You playfully punched Flash by his arm, which you immediately regret because of the ‘armor’ he was wearing. “Drinks?”

“Kitchen, as usual. You might find a Cindy Moon there too.”

“Oh no.” Was all you could say before you grabbed Peter’s hand and marched straight towards the kitchen.

Concern for your best friend was all you could think of in the moment. It was if every minute, a bunch of new people arrive at the house and soon enough the entrance to the wide kitchen was blocked. You grumbled under your breath but before you could even lift a finger, Peter nudged an obviously intoxicated teen out of the way to make some space. You recognized the person as one of the jocks at school and your eyes widened as you looked back and forth between the bulky boy and your boyfriend. Peter never ceases to surprise you.

It wasn’t hard to spot your friend, as she was the only one in the room in a hat, but also her ensemble was familiar to you. White shirt, dark high-waisted shorts, and a fedora hat.

“Cin!” You called out through the loud music. Oh, Flash was definitely DJ-ing now.

“Y/N!” She gasped out loud as she made her way towards you. “And Peter! Oh my god, I forgive you now for not telling me your costumes. You two are so cute!”

You and Peter only looked at each other in concern as Cindy pinched your cheek with one hand and she pinched Peter’s with the other.

“Are you drunk already?” You asked once she let go.

Cindy scoffed before smiling, “No. Fine, one shot only. But that’s because I was waiting for you!”

Your eyes widened when you remembered that yesterday in the library, you talked about wanting to let (a little) loose at the party.

“You don’t mind if I steal your girlfriend for a while, Peter Pan?” Cindy asked as she looped her arm with yours. “Actually, none of that, she’s a strong independent woman who doesn’t need permission!”

You were surprised by Cindy’s strength as she dragged you towards the kitchen counter. As you looked back at Peter, who only had an approving smile on his face, you remembered that this was the exact place that probably started, well, everything. The last time you were tipsy was during the whole red application fiasco when you have just rejected the other boys who thought would get a chance with you. Now, you were planning to have fun instead of worrying about who would volunteer to break your heart.

Peter was watching you down your first shot of the night when Ned and MJ approached him. Ned nodded in understanding when Peter took a step back when he saw MJ in a pale cream floor-length dress, short white gloves on her hands, and her natural curls peaking through the low messy bun.

She let him gawk in confusion for a second before shrugging, “Anya Taylor Joy, man.”

Peter then looked at Ned in his attire. “I like the bat.”

“Knew it. Wanna be the Dustin to this Steve? You both have curly hair,” Ned joked with a wink. He was the only one who knew what you and Peter were dressing up as for Halloween and he was so delighted for the couple that he let go of the idea of Peter dressing up as Dustin Henderson.

Though, what they both decided on mutually was that they’d retire from Star Wars costumes (for now) since they’ve done it for the past years.

It wasn’t long until you felt the room start to spin. Cindy’s a very persuasive girl and you were a good friend who wouldn’t let her try nearly every drink on the table without supervision. Well technically, since you were also drinking, the responsibility of supervision was thrust into your boyfriend’s hands.

“Have one!” You shoved a red solo cup into Peter’s hands. “You said you have a high tolerance, prove it, Petey!”

Peter took the cup from you, without any intention of drinking its content, just so you wouldn’t trip over and spill liquid onto the floor, creating a hazard. You were slurring your words, mixed in with high-pitched giggles and little hiccups in between.

“I still have to drive us home, Y/N,” He reminded you, despite the fact that you didn’t know that no alcoholic drink would affect him.

“Hmph,” You pouted and crossed your arms, making an adorable view for Peter. “Fine, let’s dance!”

You dragged Peter away to the living room before he could even protest. The mirrorball hung in the ceiling reflecting the multicolored lights set an ache in Peter’s temple but he powered through it as he felt you lifting his arms in an attempt to dance.

Deciding to say screw it, Peter gulped down the drink you gave him. He thought back to the times you ranted to him about school works and how this party was the perfect opportunity to enjoy your youth. You were right; that tonight was the night to forget about responsibilities and deadlines.

The vodka burned as it ran down his throat, but it still didn’t have any effect whatsoever. Thankfully, Flash was passing by and surprisingly, gave Peter one of the cups he had in his hands. Peter downed it in a second. This specific drink was a little stronger, but again, not enough. It did help numb some of his senses to make the flashing lights and loud music a bit more tolerable so Peter decided that was his last drink for the night.

Your warm body pressing into him snapped Peter out of his thoughts about his spidey senses. From this close proximity, your vanilla scent wafted in Peter’s nose, and he immediately decided that you were more intoxicating than Asgardian mead; the only alcohol strong enough to give him a hangover.

The upbeat music seemed to energize you as it played, and Peter’s hands found home on your hips. He followed how you frantically swayed to the beat and you pulled him in even closer if it were possible. Your hot breath over his lips made sweat gather in his hairline.

Peter’s strong shoulders underneath your palms sent a flurry of unholy thoughts in your head, but you still had reservations despite the liquor taking its effect on your mind. The strawberry flush on his freckled cheeks wasn’t helping either, especially since you knew that it was your fault for its appearance.

“Y-Y/N?” He breathed over your gloss-coated lips. You had applied a layer earlier before you dragged him to the dancefloor. It was a deeper red color, far from your usual pink, and you had a feeling that you would like it better on Peter’s face.

Peter’s a usually confident boy. It gave you a feeling of pride to know that you had the ability to render him speechless. Peter was almost always flustered around your presence, but it was every time you were on the verge of a heated kiss that he was left to little words.

Sober, it would take you too much time to gather the courage to do what you were about to. You leaned in even closer and took Peter’s bottom lip between your teeth. You could hear his breath hitch and your interlaced hands behind his neck separated a little so that they could trace the nape of his neck and up his hair.

You had no intention of going all the way tonight, or even soon, but you wouldn’t deny that you enjoyed making out with the pretty boy who was starting to melt like putty under your hands.

You felt one of Peter’s hands settle on your waist, the other still on your hip. You both have stopped dancing and stood your ground when somebody slightly bumped into you. It was your turn to hold your breath when Peter captured your lips in a kiss. The strong grip he had on your body made you let out a nearly inaudible moan, but of course, Peter heard it and the boy seized the opportunity to run his tongue on your bottom lip before you granted him entrance.

The alcohol in your system amplified the want you felt for Peter. Yet, in an indescribable way, you were somehow sobered by the way his hands clung to you. You felt like floating because of the intense way he was kissing you but the little pants escaping his lips when you pulled away for a split second to breathe had grounded you to this earth. This reality that had pulled your forces together despite the troubles that haunted your past. You wouldn’t trade it for anything else.

You heard a whistle in the near distance. The two of you pulled away to see Cindy clapping maniacally and MJ next to her. Your blurry eyes didn’t miss the hand she had on Cindy’s forearm to stop her from falling face-first on the floor.

“Damn, Wendy and Peter! Keep it PG,” MJ teased with a smirk.

Cindy elbowed MJ’s side a few times as she chuckled and swayed, “Let’s leave them be. They’re about to make some lost boys.”

In your drunken haze, you completely missed the insinuation and ignored it. You cupped Peter’s cheek to look back at you once your friends left. He was blushing again.

“This place is too crowded,” You whispered, forehead touching Peter’s.

“Too many cool kids,” He snickered.

His laughter at his own pun was cut short when you gently grasped the back of his head and pulled him into another breathtaking kiss, “God, Peter Benjamin Parker, you don’t know how bad I want you right now.”

You heard him gulp before removing your hands from behind his head to interlace your fingers together. This time, it was Peter pulling you away from the crowded scene and towards the kitchen.

Deja vu has hit and you started to giggle out loud. Peter turned to look at you as he grabbed a cup to fill it up with water. To fuel your own amusement, you found an empty spot on the counter and sat up on it.

“Thank you,” You said as Peter handed you the cup, “Looks familiar, no?”

You expected Peter’s brows to furrow in confusion, but he only nodded, a tiny smile playing on his lips. You giggled again.

“Ooooh, you wanted to kiss me so bad that night,” You wiggled your eyebrows as you looked at Peter over the rim of the cup.

Peter was just letting you ramble, his heart swelling when you admitted that you did in fact wanted to kiss him that night after the beer pong game. Except, this time, circumstances are sweeter and kinder to the both of you. Your paths had intertwined to lead to this and none of you were complaining.

“And I so want to kiss you a lot tonight,” Peter mimicked the teasing lilt in your voice.

“Then what’s stopping you?” You said as you jumped off the marble surface, with Peter’s assistance. “Let’s get out of here.”

Peter knew that he was sober and perfectly capable to drive the both of you home, but he still gulped down a glass of water just to make sure.

As the two of you slinked your way towards the front door, Peter halted in his steps when realization struck him, “Wait, did you mean get out of the kitchen or the actual house?”

“The house, silly. You said May wasn’t home, right?” You asked in a sweet voice and continued to walk towards the car as if your words didn’t leave Peter swallowing his nervousness.

The drive back to the Parkers didn’t take long, but every few minutes or so, Peter had to pull you back in your seat whenever you attempted to stick your head out the window. It was New York City, an innocent act like that isn’t safe with the possibilities of bad people around.

By the time Peter parked, most of your dizziness had gone away and you were able to walk properly. You didn’t stop Peter from wrapping his arm around your waist, though.

You could feel the tension when you two arrived in the apartment, the absence of May was obviously freaking Peter out and you could feel it from where you were standing next to him.

“We don’t have to do anything,” You were unsure if your words relieved or disappointed Peter.

“I know, and you’re drunk. I would never take advantage of you or anyone like that.” Peter said before placing a kiss on your forehead.

Your shoulders sagged before you could conceal the dismay in your still hazy brain.

“What’s wrong, darling?”

You flushed at the pet name and even though you couldn’t meet Peter’s eyes, you still managed to speak. “It’s- I- I just wanted to- uhm.. cuddle?”

Peter didn’t say anything for a second so you rambled, “I really liked it when we did last time but Ned was around and I have never been to your room before so it’s fine if you don’t want to-”

“Anything for my Wendy.” Peter interrupted, with a soft, gentle boop to your nose.

Even though you weren’t going to do anything, you still felt nervous as you followed Peter into his room. It would be your first time in there and the prospect of being on Peter’s bed sped up the thumping of your heartbeat.

“Here we are,” Peter said in a shy voice. “Sorry for the mess.”

You didn’t reply and instead, looked around. It was not spotless, it is a teenager’s bedroom after all, but the way it looked was a perfect reflection of the boy that resided in it. Star Wars posters on the wall, notebooks and pens scattered on the desk, and some socks in one corner.

“Are you kidding? It’s so.. you.” You turned around to look at Peter with a smile. The nervous frown on his lips faded away at the sight of it.

“Is that supposed to be a good thing?” Peter asked as you stepped forward.

“A very good thing.” You whispered before attaching your lips to his.

Peter pulled away and wiped a stray smudge of mascara by the corner of your eye, “Do you- want to-uh- stay the night?”

“I would love nothing more.” You grinned and approached the foot of his bed. You looked at Peter and he nodded, giving you silent permission that you were allowed to sit on it.

The moment your butt hit the soft mattress, you were done for. Initially, you planned to just sit down first out of decency, but it was as if tiredness hit you all at once, resulting in you laying down on the sheets. Everything smelled like Peter, the sweet honeysuckle mixed with his natural musk, and the detergent you assumed May favored.

“Do you want to change?” Your sleepy eyes flung open when Peter spoke. “You can borrow my clothes but, shit, that sounds creepy, uhm-”

“Yes, please.” It was as if calming the other person down from rambling was yours and Peter’s thing.

“Can I choose?” You giddily said as you stood up. Sober you would chastise yourself for being so demanding, but Peter was a boy willing to say yes to anything his girlfriend asks him for.

Peter helped you up and held you steady as you crouched down to view his t-shirts that were on the bottom half of the drawer. You were humming as if you were in the grocery store picking out which apples looked best. Peter was just looking at you in admiration.

“This one!” You exclaimed, pulling out a soft, gray t-shirt that you saw Peter wear a few times at school. It had a corny science pun on it, which is why you picked it out.

Your clumsy state had accidentally pulled out some other pieces of clothing in the drawer but you assumed that Peter was tired so he let it be.

He let you in his bathroom and you got dressed in the shirt and some of Peter’s old sweats. The alcohol in your system overpowered the anxiousness and you were quick to settle into Peter’s arms.

You would have loved to stay up and talk about anything and everything that comes to mind because you know that Peter would never judge you for that. In fact, he would join you too. But you were worn out, so you let Peter, your favorite ball of energy, do the talking, lulling you to sleep as if the multiversal theory was a bedtime story.

You fell asleep in the comfort of your lover’s arms with him on your mind. And the sight of a familiar scarf you vividly remember giving to somebody that wasn't Peter, falling out of the drawer.

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abimess · 2 years

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Hey bestie, how are you? I have a director's cut requests for you.

You know my favorite fic is the festa junina one aka "It only takes the holidays". Loving and missing this work daily, so please, give me more of it. Wanna know anything you want or can talk about that series.

Also, I love "My beautiful, hurtful secret"; and I want a cut about this one too, please.

I will be waiting for those darling, or as we say in Brazil, faz seus corre.

Hi, wifey!!! I'm great, how are you?! Let's go because there's a lot to be said about these stories hahahaha

Director’s Cut of It only takes the holidays

It always warms my heart when people ask me about this story, it's so important to me. But at the same time I have some issues with it haha one thing at a time though.

Evermore by Taylor Swift is a masterpiece. All the songs on this album, as well as Folklore, carry such a deep story with them and if I could I would write stories to all of them. And there was this one time that by coincidence I heard "dorothea" followed by "'tis the damn season" and I was like "this is it" haha and for the rest of the night I kept listening to these two songs and coming up with the story and I was just so happy with how it turned out.

It's that type of story that even though it's sad it kind of warms your heart because you know everything is going to be okay, you know? It's the kind of story that I would read on a cloudy day with a cup of coffee by my side and that's really nice for me.

I can't pick a favorite moment in this story. I really like the flashbacks, it's so beautiful to see the beginning of Wanda and Y/n's friendship, how they met, how they were shy messes around each other. But one scene that I really like, in terms of flashback, is when Y/n makes a wedding ring for Wanda:

[...]

You were walking around the backyard wearing your father’s hat that was clearly too big for your head. You were looking for the most perfect grasses you could find. Your mother offered to help you, but when she said that all the grasses were the same you told her you would look for them by yourself, because she didn’t get it.

You wanted to make a wedding ring for Wanda because you will ask her to marry you when she arrives later for a sleepover. You didn’t actually know what marriage was, but you knew your mom and your dad were married and that was why they were always happy and were always spending time with each other. And that’s exactly what you wanted to do with Wanda, so you would ask her to marry you. But you needed the perfect grasses because Wanda was really nice and you really liked her.

When you were satisfied with the ones you chose, you sat on the porch of your house and started making the ring. It took you a few hours and some frustrated unsuccessful attempts, but when you finally finish, you are really happy with the result.

After Wanda arrived, you two play with some of your toys and have dinner. When the two of you go to your room to watch a movie before bed, you decide it’s the perfect time.

You pick the ring from where you were hiding it and show it to her.

- What is this? – She asks curiously, the movie completely forgotten by you both.

- I want to marry you. – You explain, leaning the ring towards her and she giggles.

- We can’t get married, we are only twelve! – She says and you suddenly feel very sad. – But I really want to marry you, though. – She says after a while and you feel a wave of hope washing over you.

- Really? – You ask with a bright smile and she nods smiling in the same way.

- Ask me again when we’re older and I’ll say yes.

- Okay. – You say, placing the ring with all the care you have inside the first drawer on your nightstand. – Okay, I will.

[...]

This scene is so pure and always brings a smile to my face and makes my heart warm.

Actually, revisiting this story I like how the flashbacks have the function not only of explaining the context of the characters' relationships, but also as foreshadowing? I think this is very nice and gives more dynamism to the story.

But at the same time that I love this story so much, there are many things that I wanted to change. Not because it's not good enough, but because I feel I could do better, you know?

This was my first series, one of the first stories I ever wrote. So besides having learned a lot with my writing since then, my English was still a little rusty, so you can tell I used to write something like "just what was necessary" hahaha today I think I would develop more the scenes, the settings...

Besides that I would expand the story for sure. I would bring more from Wanda's point of view, I would bring more flashbacks for sure. For example, Reader's father is very important to her in this story, and there are almost no scenes with him. I would definitely change that.

Well, you know I've talked a few times about rewriting it. Maybe I will, maybe I won't hahah let's see what the future will tell us.

Director’s Cut of My beautiful, hurtful secret

How to start talking about this story?.... Haha

I feel like I'm already repeating myself here, but I think it's important to say this to talk about this series. One of the reasons I liked In Secret so much is that it makes it clear in its details and nuances that the film is about passion and not about love. And since passion, in my opinion at least, is a negative thing, ruled by possession and madness, the people who feel it end up committing unthinkable acts, as happened in the movie. But I kept wondering what it would be like if it were all about love and if the characters were not crazy psychopaths.

Writing this story was actually a very unique experience for me, I think you can tell in the way I write it, it's a little different from other stories I have written, both before and after this one. I don't know, I just feel like I was more passionate in terms of writing? There's a piece that I like very much and that I think reflects well what I want to say:

[...]

Therese presses her eyes shut, gripping your shirt tightly and clenching her jaw, letting the moan die in her throat. Her expression softens, although her hands are still tight on the fabric of your garment, and she opens her eyes, locking them in yours.

The sight of Therese with her pupils so dilated and her lips slightly open, sighing as you touch her is completely intoxicating, you're sure that nothing in the world could ever make you feel the things you're feeling right now. For you, there is only her.

Meanwhile, you watching her made Therese's body feel even hotter. The sensations your touch made her feel were indescribable. But even more indescribable was the effect of your gaze. It was as if you could see way more than her face, as if your eyes could go beyond and see everything she is, everything she wanted to be.

Maybe this is why she avoided looking at you so much when you first met. Because you seem able to know her as she really is, and she never wanted to let anyone do that, least of all you. But now she is more than willing to let you get to know her, so she locks her eyes on yours. For her, there is only you.

[...]

I really like this bit, because it's much more about what the characters are feeling at that moment than about the action itself, you know? I like that a lot, and I feel that's very present throughout this story as a whole. Unfortunately I've never been able to write like that again, I guess, I really wish I could.

Changing the subject a bit, there's one scene that always makes me laugh. It's when Y/n and Laurent are trying to convince Madame Raquin to let Camille travel with him so that Y/n and Therese can spend the night together. During the conversation, there is this moment:

[...]

You watch the interaction expectantly and, noting that Madame Raquin still doesn't seem very convinced, you decide to add. "Besides, Madame." You say and wait for the woman to look at you to continue. "Laurent is the most caring person I know, I'm sure Camille will be in good hands."

[...]

I just find it so funny, considering what actually happens in the movie. Maybe it was a mean joke, but I don't really care hahaha

Something I would change in this story, however, is the final chapter. One of the scenes, right near the middle of the chapter, ends with the two running away in the carriage and the scene ends with the paragraph:

[...]

Leaning your head against Therese's, you take a deep breath and lose yourself in the warmth of the woman in your arms and the swaying of the carriage all the way to the train station. Your chest at peace, knowing that no matter where you go, Therese will be with you, so everything will be all right.

[...]

And looking at it now, I think it would be the perfect way to end the chapter, you know? It closes the whole arc that was work in the story, which is: forbidden love finally finding its means to become possible. If I were writing this story now I would have ended the chapter there and everything that comes after I would leave in an epilogue.

And since we are talking about the ending, I think now is a good opportunity to talk about the original ending of this story. As I say in the note at the end of the chapter, that was not the ending I had in mind. In fact, the ending would be very very sad, and I will tell it to you right now! Haha

Y/n's plan to escape with Therese was to finish the book and publish it so they could have an income to escape. In the original ending Y/n would lose track of time and by the time she finished the book Therese would be gone.

Obviously, Y/n and Therese are devastated by the loss of the love of their lives.

For the rest of the chapter we would follow Y/n doing what she told Therese she would do if she lost her: collapse. Y/n doesn't eat, doesn't sleep, doesn't do anything other than relive the moments with her lover until she becomes extremely ill. Laurent takes Y/n to the hospital, but nothing is able to cure her. In the minutes before she dies, Y/n "sees" Therese, the brunette taking care of and comforting her until she closes her eyes for the last time.

Years later, Laurent goes to visit the Raquin's at their house in the countryside. Therese is visibly unhappy. When Laurent gets there, however, she raises hopes of finally seeing Y/n again, but when Laurent tells her what happened, she collapses in tears.

The story would end with Therese jumping into the lake, hinting that she has chosen to join Y/n.

Like I said... pretty sad hahahaha I really like this ending too, but I wouldn't change the official ending of the story, I think it's very beautiful and remarkable.

Well, I guess that's what I had to say about these two stories. If you have something about them that you want me to comment on in more depth just let me know!

Send me a ⭐ with a story, excerpt, dialogue or whatever from my works that you want me to comment on!

#asks #director’s cut #randomshyperson-main #wanda maximoff x reader #therese raquin x reader

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princessofgayskull · 3 years

Note

Hi sunflower, what's your thoughts on T Swift's Betty being a catradora song???

Me, taking a break from spop to focus on my mental health and setting better boundaries:

Me, reading this ask:

This ask woke me up from like a deep, sleeping beauty type slumber, not joking. I don’t get asked to talk about Taylor Swift often, despite being a fan of hers since I was nine years old (I’m 22 now *wink*) and we are about to find out why. But I pride myself on taking any fiction piece of media I interact with and connecting it somehow to Taylor Swift. I can do so to varying degrees of success (usually depends on the ships and romance of the world) but there are so many songs of Taylor’s that have just fit Catradora so well for me, both in and out of canon.

Some of my favorite examples: out of the woods (AND IT KEPT ME UP AT NIGHT WHEN NOELLE SAID THIS WAS HER TAYLOR SWIFT SONG FOR CATRADORA LIKE GAH CASUAL TS LISTENERS WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND) bad blood, lwymd, don’t blame, dancing with our hands tied, the archer, breathe, you’re not sorry, the way I loved you, forever & always, should’ve said no, safe & sound- I could go on.

But I won’t because I wanna stay on topic and talk about betty. Now I have a number of songs from the folklore/evermore series that are for me catradora songs (we’ll get to that in a minute) but this one is… challenging. Because I could be like “yes, because [insert casual reason here]” or “no, because [insert casual reason here]” but I can’t because Taylor feeds her children well and there’s several aspects of this song I feel like should be considered.

This biggest one to be considered, for me, is the love triangle aspect. Folklore features at length the betty/james/Augustine love triangle, each of them having one main song on the album from their POV. Betty's is cardigan, augustine’s is august, and james’ is betty. (also I’m going to throw out the gender component for a second; I know taylor says that Betty is about a guy’s apology and I totally vibe with her reasons why she wanted to write a song about a boy apologizing BECAUSE HOW GREAT WOULD THAT BE?) The love triangle makes the application of Catradora iffy at best. Because it’s like, who would be who? I am going to go out on a limb and assume that you’re seeing Catra as James? I think that personality wise, Adora as Betty and Catra as James is not a stone’s throw away from fitting actually really well. Adora’s canon journey is one of coming to realize “I know what I want and I know that it’s okay to want it” and a big part of Catra’s arc is her being like “Well shit… there goes my plans. Kind of feeling like a dumbass rn” especially in s4/s5.

(That s4/s5 distinction is important; I’ll show why in a second)

But for me, there’s no augustine. Or one that’s obvious anyway. I never imagined that either Catra or Adora dated or even had any inclinations with anyone else during the five season run- that’s just my personal opinion, people are completely welcome to feel free to disagree. I don’t think Catra acted even out of distraction with Scorpia or DT, and I think Adora was so focused on being She Ra that when she wasn’t thinking about failing/abandoning Catra when she alloted time to do so, she was thinking about the crushing weight of her responsibilities. So you know, not that much time to get back out there. So I rule out what causes James to apologize in the first place- cheating.

Side note about James cheating- I’m pretty sure Taylor confirmed this, in the long pond studio sessions doc, when she’s telling Jack Antonoff (MY BOY JACK) and Aaron Dessner ( GRAMMY AWARD WINNING KING) that James “was a fool!” And James did sleep with Augustine as confirmed in august, but cardigan makes it seem like he was definitely dating Betty before the summer. Maybe Taylor took inspiration from friends and they “were on break.” I also believe that the kiss in the Heart is the first kiss, that Catra and Adora were never ‘together’ together before Adora found the sword and defected (again, that’s just an opinion, but Adora just looks so wonderfully gobsmacked), so…

We can rule out cheating, and I think we can accomplish this and still reserve the essential meaning of the song of “I did something wrong, I see that now, I apologize for doing it, and I still love you” by widening the lens of what the “did something wrong” was (or “did something bad” you know *wink*). In that wider lens really you could fit either Catra or Adora into the song, but I’m still going to assume Catra is the James in this scenario based on how much of her redemption arc is formed around her refusal to say sorry and then eventually doing so. Of course there is no standing your porchlight but rather standing while wrestling a bunch of murderous clones…. Hmm….

But there are some stupid friends! I wholeheartedly believe Catra is James because of the dissing of Betty’s friends. That’s what Catra does to Bow, Glimmer and the rebellion et al., for most of the show and by the end of s4 she has no friends for Adora to even mock (terrible and cruel of me, I know, but it’s true). Also I know people are like “he called her friends stupid and then expected betty to take him back?” but I scream sing the line “WILL YOU KISS ME ON THE PORCH IN FRONT OF ALL YOUR STUPID FRIENDS?” every time. It brings me serotonin.

Along those lines we can ask “Who’s Inez?” in this situation. When I think gossip no one from the show really comes to mind, well, expect for Double Trouble. But Double Trouble doesn’t ever speak to Adora about Catra. This happens vice-versa, and in Betty, James reveals that Inez told Betty he cheated on her.

I want to say something controversial… Glimmer comes to mind when I think “who’s the Inez?” And this is based off of two things: 1) Inez’s closeness to Betty, and 2) Inez drags James out to dry, rightfully so. And when I think of that I think of Glimmer screaming “Do one good thing in your life!” directly in Catra’s face. James gives Inez a bad wrap in Betty. Not cool James.

Of course there’s the pivotal, “would you tell me to go fuck myself?/ or lead me to the garden?” To me this a fun way of showing there’s vulnerability to what James is doing, so automatically I’m led to is the scene where Catra asks Adora to stay, or each time in s5 when Catra risks, basically an identity crisis to let Adora in how she really feels, but there’s always the potential that Adora could spurn her by not returning her feelings or rejecting her outright.

I think the best argument that can be made for “is betty a catradora song” can really be encapsulated by the lyric(s): “the worst thing that I ever did is what I did to you” and “the only thing I wanna do is make it up to you.” That is what about the song SCREAMS Catra to me. And yeah, it could be argued that Adora hurt Catra pretty brutally (Shadow Weaver makes that point EVEN THOUGH SHE HAD NO RIGHT TO) that she messed up by abandoning Catra- but Adora feels guilt for... literally breathing. Adora is the quintessential embodiment of “pick your battles, no that’s too many battles, put some back,” but Catra picked one battle first and foremost (yes, she had a few others but this was the one) and that was Adora. Everything that motivated her was surrounded around a narrative of surpassing Adora for a multitude of reasons, and because of that she pretty much hurts Adora every chance she gets after Promise. Adora is really Catra’s first casualty, it makes sense that she has to be her first apology. And I think that after being vibed checked back to back by DT and Glimmer and realizing “oh hey fuck, I’m still in love with her” and then almost dying just to not die because Adora saves her, I think much of Catra’s motivation shifts to “how to do I get Adora to want to stay?”

That’s my logic for how Betty could be a catradora song in canon. Now not all of my Taylor associations are with canon catradora, many of them do belong to uws catradora, because it’s a lot easier to apply the more modern details of Taylor’s songs to a modern au. The song Breathe is big that way. (it’s in Upper West Side, it’s the song Adora listens to and cries to after that first ride, I just never mentioned that it was taylor because my conditioned reaction to bringing up taylor is to have my head bit off with someone’s semi incorrect and slightly sexist opinion that I never, ever ask for) And this ask got me thinking about what it would look like if I applied not Catradora to Betty, but Betty to Catradora. What would it look like if Catra skateboarded and wore black lipstick, Adora wore a cardigan and they had homeroom together until Catra really messed up? What would it look like if they were seventeen when they admitted their feelings for each other instead of 21? What would it look like if they spent a summer fighting but dreaming of each other? What would their love story look like if Catra and Adora were in that town where Taylor envisioned this “same event that affected three people in different ways?”

I think it’d look something like this.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/31141973/chapters/76952048

what do you guys think?

quick but INCREDIBLY IMPORTANT thank you to @gimme-tea-bitch for helping me with this, being my beta, and listening to me talk about folklore/evermore.

#I am literally SHAKING as I post this you guys have no idea #like vibrating through a wall shaking #i've been working on this for like the past two months #and I know everyone wants cruel summer but my goblin brain is like #AHHHHHHHH WRITE A FOLKLORIAN AU FOR CATRA AND ADORA YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO #IT'S 23K WORDS NO ONE WILL NOTICE #this was supposed to go up with two parts but tbh with you guys i have high key been feeling when jenny slate said #'i don't get the love until something beautiful goes out'#please be gentle with me

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miracleonice87 · 4 years

Text

Begin Again

a Mathew Barzal song fic

a/n: a one shot based on “Begin Again” by Taylor Swift. obviously I don’t own any of Taylor Swift’s music/lyrics! I’m not even a big Swiftie anymore (edited: lol dying bc I wrote that before she released folklore and evermore and sucked me RIGHT back in) but I love her “Red” album and always listen to it in the fall. also, the NYC traffic/parking/location situation in this is purely fantasy BS, lol.

summary: Mat Barzal meets Hayden Parker (fictional) in a coffee shop, and they start something new.

warnings: swearing. talk of a concussion/migraines/weight loss — otherwise, complete and total fluff.

______

With a deep breath, you glanced at your reflection in the mirror hanging near your front door before you left your Brooklyn apartment. You hadn’t worn these heels for several seasons now — he hadn’t liked it when you wore high heels. You had let his opinions — on your clothes, shoes, music, books, movies, and friends — dictate how you lived for too long. You smirked now, admiring how the pointed-toe snakeskin stilettos looked paired with your raw cut black jeans and silky pink blouse. He would’ve hated this look (“too gaudy,” he would have said), which made you love it that much more.

You popped in one AirPod and flipped the inside lock on your door before pulling it closed. You made your way down the hall as the lyrics started to flow.

There is a young cowboy, he lives on the range

His horse and his cattle are his only companions...

You fought the urge to roll your eyes thinking about your former flame’s constant unwarranted comments about this classic ballad which often wafted through your apartment from the record player in the living room.

“I don’t get this song — like, is he singing to himself?” he would ask. You never bothered to tell him the real background and meaning — you loved the song, and you got it. You always had.

Emerging from the main entrance of your building, you hummed along to melodies from your favorite playlist, and walked the three or so blocks to your destination. Soon, you were stepping in from the bustle of the street to find solace in an only-slightly less busy coffee shop, one you had come to frequent because of its location — sandwiched within the six blocks between your apartment and the fashion magazine where you were interning this semester.

“Hi, one large double shot mocha, please?” you requested, stepping up after the man in front of you paid for his order. You tapped your AirPod to pause your music, just in time to hear: “Nice shoes.”

You lifted your head and glanced toward the pick-up section of the counter, where a classically handsome man in his twenties stood donning a well-tailored navy blue suit. Your heart lurched in your chest as you realized he was looking straight at you.

“Me?” you inquired softly, just to be sure, as you slipped your bank card back into your wallet. He nodded, smiling. “Yes, you. Nice shoes.”

You bit your lip involuntarily, slowly walking his way to wait on your coffee. “Thanks. You’ve got nice style yourself,” you complimented, and you were surprised by your own boldness in that moment. Something about his confidence made you confident, too. And something about his model good looks seemed unsettlingly familiar somehow.

He extended his hand as you took your position next to him. “I’m Mat,” he greeted. You couldn’t help but smile, nearly breathless from his innate charm.

“Hi, Mat,” you replied, engaging his handshake. “I’m Hayden.”

“Hayden. Pretty name for a pretty girl,” Mat mused, holding onto your hand for just a moment longer than was customary. You knew it was silly — God, was it silly — but you felt yourself blush at his flattery.

“Large Americano,” a barista called out. Mat stepped forward, thanking her and stuffing a bill — you couldn’t help but notice that it was a large one — into the tip jar atop the glass pastry display. He turned back to you as he unfastened the lid and blew gently on his coffee. Another thing you couldn’t help but notice — his perfect pink lips.

“So, Hayden, are you a native New Yorker?”

Hmm, you thought. Why isn’t he running for the door after getting his drink? You decided to play along, feeling more daring than you had in ages.

“I am not,” you confessed. “I’m from Maine, actually.”

“Ah, still an East Coast girl,” Mat remarked with a grin. “I’m from the West — near Vancouver.”

You arched your brows. “Wow, Canadian, huh?” Mat chuckled.

“Born and raised. You know what they say, though: opposites attract,” he commented, hazel eyes piercing into you even as he took a cautious sip from his cup. You studied his face — he seemed more familiar with each word he spoke.

“They do say that, don’t they?” you retorted, skirting his inference. Just then, the barista set your mocha on the counter.

“Thank you so much,” you said, also pushing a tip into the jar, thankful that Mat’s attention was on grabbing a cup sleeve from the island nearby instead of on the much smaller bills you had to offer the staff.

You turned toward the island, too, reaching for the cinnamon. Mat offered you a sleeve as if it was second nature, and you graciously accepted, trying to relax the muscles on your face that seemed to have permanently turned upward into a smile since you’d been in the man’s presence.

Suddenly, you gasped.

“Islanders,” you whispered under your breath as Mat watched you stir your cinnamon into your drink. He froze.

“What?” he asked with a nervous laugh, wondering if he had heard you correctly. Your eyes darted around, making sure no one within earshot was paying attention.

“You play for the Islanders. Right?” you asked softly. He nodded, silent, ducking his head a bit; you began to backpedal.

“Oh, God... I didn’t mean - I, uh... I promise I’m not like a hockey fangirl, or anything,” you choked out, cheeks flushed. Your hands started to shake slightly as you replaced the lid on your to-go cup. “I just, uh, my brother. My brother played hockey. He always talked about you, and, uh, I just realized that that’s why I recognized you.” You winced.

“This... this isn’t as weird as it sounds, I swear,” you insisted. “It’s just that, my brother played in the Q. He was good, and, uh, I knew about all the other good hockey players, because of him.”

Mat’s demeanor had quickly changed — from slightly uncomfortable to giddy. He was smirking at you while you sputtered, taking a sort of masochistic pleasure in watching you squirm. His grin was infectious.

“What’s your last name?” he asked when you finally stopped talking. “Parker,” you responded, the two of you stepping away from the island and taking up residence near the front windows of the cafe.

“Parker... Parker,” he repeated. You were distracted by how good your name sounded falling from his tongue. Then, he gasped, too.

“Oh shit, your brother’s Nick Parker? Damn, how’s he doing?”

Your brow quirked as you watched the light flicker on in his eyes when he pieced it together. A National Hockey League star recognized your brother’s name, your name. What the hell was happening?

You cleared your throat, attempting to come back into orbit. “Uh, yeah, he’s good now. He, uh... it was a battle there for a couple years. He had migraines every day for about 16 months... lost a lot of weight. It was... it was tough,” you told him, your voice lowering noticeably. Mat watched you carefully, concern written all over his striking features. It was evident that Mat knew your brother’s story.

Your older brother Nick had been a top 20 prospect in the Quebec Major Junior Hockey League as a teen, playing forward for the Halifax Mooseheads. But after a nasty late hit during a playoff game, he had been left with a debilitating concussion and, after a long period of unsuccessful rehab, had been forced to walk away from the game just as he was entering his prime.

Those troubling days hung like a thick, black fog over your family’s history, and you suddenly recalled being 15 again, cross-legged outside Nick’s bedroom door for hours, begging him to let you into the dark room to hold onto him as he cried, both because of the pain and because of the weight of his unrealized dreams. It had taken countless neurologist appointments, physical therapy, and your parents’ unwavering insistence that he regularly see a sports psychologist for him to return to some semblance of normalcy after a long road to recovery.

Now, minus the occasional treatable migraine, Nick was thriving. You beamed at the thought, your well-polished black nail picking at the corner of the cup sleeve on your mocha as you looked back to Mat and continued.

“But he’s finishing law school now, seeing a therapist and keeps himself in great shape, which helps. He’s getting married next summer to this great girl,” you finished, pride swelling in your chest at how far your brother had come. Mat’s eyebrows lifted, his worried expression morphing into elation.

“No shit!” he exclaimed. “Damn, I’m so happy for him. Tell you what, lotta guys wanted nothing to do with him when he was tearing it up. And we were all gutted for him after it happened.” You gave him a grateful smile.

“Thanks,” you said softly. “I’ll have to let him know you said that.” Mat nodded, then pressed on. “Maybe I’ll get the chance to tell him myself one day,” he added brazenly, casually taking another sip.

No response came to your brain, so you curled your fingers around your own cup and took a long draw, eyes darting to the activity outside the window, Mat’s never leaving your unsure face.

The church bells chiming from a nearby steeple were the only thing that could pull Mat’s gaze from you, as he checked his large-face Rolex. He seemed angered by the time staring back at him, and he ran his hand aggressively through his hair as his eyes rolled just slightly.

“Listen, Hayden, I hate to do this,” Mat began with a sigh. “But we’ve got a game in Pittsburgh tomorrow night, and the team plane leaves in like half an hour.”

You’re surprised by how deflated you feel in that instant, casting a downward glance at the shoes Mat had complimented only minutes ago, before you’d started feeling like maybe you’d known him your whole life.

A quiet, “Oh,” was all you could muster, still not meeting his eyes.

His hand then came to rest on your upper arm, and it’s only then that you noticed how big it was, long fingers curling easily around your bicep.

“But hey... I’ll be back late tomorrow night. Whaddya say we grab coffee here the next morning? Wednesday. Maybe 8?”

You turned your eyes upward to take in his face. He looked hopeful. He was hopeful that he’d see you again.

You nodded. “I’d love to, Mat. I’ll meet you here.”

Mat beamed, a relieved breath falling from his lips. “Good,” he commented. “I’ll see you then.” He leaned in and pressed a chaste kiss to your cheek, leaving you reeling when he pulled away.

“Bye, pretty Hayden,” Mat said with a wink before turning and exiting the coffee shop, walking down the block to the Cadillac he’d just unlocked. He was still in sight when he glanced over his shoulder and threw you another breathtaking grin. You smiled back, frozen in place as you watched him drive away.

_____

Mat was going to be late.

At least, that’s what you had convinced yourself at some point within the last 48 hours.

He was either going to be late or he was going to stand you up altogether. So even though you woke up at 5:30 and initially felt the need to rush through your routine to get down to the coffee shop as quickly as possible, you didn’t. You forced yourself to slow down. Because Mat was going to be late. Or, he wasn’t going to be there at all.

So you were surprised when, after throwing on a red chiffon dress with tiny white flowers and a cognac leather jacket, you walked through the coffee shop door at 8:02 and heard, “Hayden!”

Your head snapped up.

At a corner table in the back of the shop was Mat, dressed in a smart grey sweater and distressed black jeans, a silver chain looped around his neck, standing to wave you over with a broad smile across his face.

He came. And he’d arrived before you did.

You walked over to Mat and he embraced you warmly, the two of you exchanging kisses on the cheek. He squeezed your elbow affectionately as you stepped back from him.

“Oh, here. Let me,” Mat said as he pulled your chair out and motioned for you to sit.

“Thank you,” you said quietly, his chivalry catching you by surprise. Once you were seated, he pushed your chair in slightly before taking his place across the table from you.

“I got you a mocha,” he told you, nodding at the cup in front of you. “Double shot, right?”

You nodded. “You’re sweet. Thank you,” you said, the two of you beaming at each other for a moment, lost in a daze.

“So how was the game?” you inquired, pulling you both back to earth. Mat cleared his throat before answering you.

“It was good! We won. It’s usually a tough battle with them but we kinda dominated, which was nice for a change,” he spoke, looking pleased.

“You score?” you asked teasingly as you sipped from your cup.

“Uh, yeah, actually,” he told you with a nervous chuckle, scratching the back of his head. “Two goals and an assist.”

Your eyebrows lifted on your forehead. “Mat, that’s amazing! So my brother was right. You are good.”

Mat shook his head, trying to shrug you off.

“Ah, nah. I kinda think it had more to do with a good luck charm I met this week,” he remarked slyly. You licked your bottom lip before biting on it gently. Mat took notice, mirroring your motions as he stared at your lips.

“So, how’s work been this week?” It was Mat’s turn to deflect.

You told him how hectic it had been, with you arriving at the office around 9 and leaving at 6 on the day you’d first met, then departing after 7 yesterday, despite it being only a part-time internship in addition to the five classes you were taking online. He asked about your combination of on-campus and online learning throughout your college career in order to accommodate your dream internships, and he was already in awe of what a hard worker you were.

You pointed out that you weren’t the only one at the table with a crazy schedule, and you asked him how he balanced hockey with his personal life. He answered you easily, launching into stories about his teammates and his family and his friends who all kept him grounded in different ways. There was one name he kept bringing up — Tito. He told you that you’d have to meet him. Before you could hesitate, you said you’d like to. His visage brightened at that answer. He reminded you of sunshine.

He continued to regale you with a vast array of stories, stopping often to ask you questions and invite you to tell him stories of your own. It took a bit of time, but soon you were opening up about your own life — your parents’ recent and shocking divorce after 30 years of marriage, and your struggle with your grandmother’s death last fall.

It wasn’t all dark, though. In fact, most of it wasn’t. You also told him about the crazy theater actor roommate you’d had when you first moved into the city to study fashion at NYU, and how her frightening antics had eventually pushed you into accepting your uncle’s offer to pay for your own apartment in the city, as he was single and childless and had always delighted in spoiling you and your brother. You told him about your only two cousins on your dad’s side, two siblings bracketing you and your brother in age, and how the four of you were more like siblings than cousins. You told a slightly off-color joke at your own expense that most of your friends and coworkers would never laugh at, but it left Mat breathless, throwing his head back with boyish giggles flowing from his mouth like your favorite song. This caught you off-guard — you couldn’t believe he actually seemed to think you were funny. The last one certainly never did.

At some point, the conversation shifted to music. Mat’s jaw dropped when you told him that you own every James Taylor album on vinyl, after he told you that that’s one of his favorite artists of all time. He said he’s never met anyone who has as many James Taylor records as you. You simply shrugged. You explained that you and your mom have seen every tour James Taylor has been on since you were eleven and had started playing guitar. Mat’s eyes went wide — he told you that he dabbles in guitar, too.

After this, you quieted a bit. He noticed. It comes off to him as shyness, but you know what it really is. It’s fear. All at once you realize just how far you’ve let your guard down with this stranger. You’ve only just met this person, yet you have more in common with him than anyone you’ve encountered since moving into the city.

He sensed that something was off, so, in the silence, he reached a hand across the table and took yours in his grasp, stroking the back of it with his thumb. You looked into his mesmerizing eyes, and your hesitance melted.

After several more minutes of easy conversation, you check the time. You need to be at work in ten minutes.

“I’m sorry to be the one to break this up this time,” you started, and Mat sat back, looking understanding though disappointed. “But I’ve gotta get to work. Thankfully, it’s just right down the street.”

“Let me walk you,” Mat quickly insisted. You smirked at him, digging in your purse to find your office key.

“Didn’t you drive here?” you asked, chuckling. He simply shrugged. “Yeah, but if pretty Hayden works just down the street, I might as well walk her to the office and spend a few extra minutes with her,” he told you with a smug grin. You felt your cheeks get hot.

“Sounds good to me,” you admitted quietly. Mat nodded, then rose from his chair, reaching for his wallet to leave another tip.

“Thank you,” you said, putting your hand on his forearm tenderly. “For the coffee. For this.”

He smiled down at you. “You’re welcome,” he replied.

The two of you walked out the cafe door, which Mat pushed open even from behind you. You pointed in the direction of your office building and the two of you fell into step, side by side. Your heart leapt when Mat reaches for your hand. It felt unbelievably natural — which terrified you.

Your recent relationship history flashed through your brain all at once, like a film reel. Your brain screamed, “Slow down!” while your heart whispered, “Relax.” You weren’t sure which to believe. You opened your mouth to bring him up, to give a fair warning, to tell Mat that you might not be ready for... whatever this was.

Then, he started to talk about the movies that his family watches every single Christmas. You weren’t at all sure what had brought that subject to his mind — maybe your earlier questions about his younger sister back in Coquitlam — but you’re grateful for the diversion from your own messy mind. You decided to engage him on that topic instead, rather than bring up your last boyfriend who’d shattered you then walked away.

And for the first time in eight months, you decided to leave what’s past, in the past.

Like a pinball machine, Mat had already bounced to yet another new topic — his practice later this morning. As he finished a story about pranking Tito in the locker room after a skate last week, you bubbled over with giggles. He watched you with admiration and wonder coursing through his entire being. You eventually observed how he was gazing at you, and you sensed that he had something more important to say than his joke on his teammate.

“Hey, so, uh,” Mat started, clearing his throat. Your suspicion had been correct. “What are you doing tomorrow night, after work? We have a home game tomorrow at 7:30 and I, uh, I wanted to see if maybe... you wanted to go? I requested a ticket for you... just in case you want it. If you do... I was thinking maybe we could grab dinner after?”

The sentences Mat spoke seemed to be rolled into one giant question mark. His unwavering self-assurance had seemed to falter slightly for the first time since you’d met him, surprising you. You only needed a moment to consider your answer.

“I’d love to come watch you play,” you told him, wrapping your hands around his upper arm affectionately. You watched him exhale, a smile slowly overtaking his face.

“Thank God,” Mat breathed, making you both burst into hysterics as he leaned his head down to touch yours for a moment.

Bewilderment overcame you as you realized that you hadn’t felt this way about anyone in... you couldn’t even remember how long. You’d thought it might never happen again. That for you, this feeling might just be... gone.

You couldn’t believe that on a Wednesday, in a cafe, you’d watched it begin again.

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thinkingimmensely · 3 years

Text

Before Dinner (Charlie Weasley x Reader/MC | Bill Weasley x Reader/MC (onesided)

A/N: Hi guys! It’s been forever! So the pandemic’s still a thing and I’ve been coping with nothing else but games. (It has also been a while since I last played Hogwarts Mystery huhu) So, as you can tell, I haven’t been writing lately and I’m rusty as hell but this was in my drafts and when I read it again, I realized it was almost finished, and I’ve got some inspiration from listening to TSwift’s evermore album. So tadah!

This could be read as a sequel of After Breakfast or as a stand-alone. This happens way before Bill meets Fleur, and I like to imagine that he’s been hung up on our cursebreaker until then.

I sure hope all of you are well out there and staying safe!

Disclaimer: I don’t own anything in the Potterverse!

———————————————

Sweat beaded down his forehead as he blasted the practice dummy with Incendio again. It was one of his best spells, and it was also the first spell he taught her.

BLAST!

Every little memory they had together during their time in Hogwarts replayed in his head, particularly on the time when he asked her if he was her favorite Weasley brother. She had flushed then, totally caught off guard, saying she hadn’t even met all his brothers yet. He really wished he was her favorite.

BLAST!

“Bill we want to tell you something-“

BLAST!

The dummy swayed and nearly toppled over as the spell struck right home but eventually regained its balance as expected.

“You trying to kill that thing?”

He stopped and turned to the owner of the voice– Charlie; his younger brother, best friend, and the person he’d absolutely do anything for. He was fiddling with his wand as he approached, his brown eyes unsure.

Bill wiped his forehead with the sleeve of his shirt and tried to catch his breath; he hadn’t realized he was out of breath until now. “Where’s Y/N?” It was surprising to see the two apart after they had decided to announce their joyous news after breakfast earlier. A wedding with him as witness, and it was to take place tomorrow. Bloody hell.

Joyous... it was supposed to be joyous, but why did Bill feel anything but joy?

“She’s writing a letter to the old gang back at the cottage.” Charlie replied nonchalantly. “Are you okay?” He immediately followed up, dropping the previous topic.

Bill raised a brow at him. “Of course. Why wouldn’t I be?”

“I dunno,” His brother shrugged, “maybe because you look like you could murder someone right now?”

Bill sighed and looked down at the ground for a moment in thought. Was he really that obvious?

Charlie bit his lower lip nervously, “Is this about the family? I know it’s sudden and mom would probably hate me for not telling her, let alone inviting them all but I didn’t want to pressure Y/N.” His shoulders slumped, “I don’t want her to feel like she has to live up to any wedding expectations and invite people she doesn’t like to keep up appearances.”

Oh, of course Charlie didn’t know. He shouldn’t be surprised though since his brother was so painfully oblivious most of the time that it took him years to realize his feeling for Y/N; but he wasn’t one to talk either since he’s practically the same.

He could tell him. But he wouldn’t. He knew how deeply Charlie felt for her, and he knew he’d probably never feel that way about another person ever again.

Patting his younger brother on the shoulder, he mustered out the sincerest smile he could, “It’s nothing Charlie, just worried I might be losing my curse breaking partner is all.”

Charlie let out a sigh of relief and chuckled, pushing his arm lightly. “You’re impossible.” The both of them shared a laugh and after what seemed like a couple of minutes Charlie let out a small smile, “You’re never going to lose her... I mean, she’s going off to Egypt right after.”

Bill raised a brow at that. He assumed the couple would want to spend at least a week more together. Before he could question it further though, Charlie had already excused himself when Y/N stood by the doorway of the cottage. He watched as his brother took full strides to reach her immediately, they smiled at each other and exchanged a couple of words before Charlie went inside.

Y/N turned her attention to him then and he could feel something inside him quench. As she approached him, with a totally different demeanor than Charlie did earlier, she looked breathtakingly happy with a smile that reached from ear to ear, her bright eyes twinkling with delight, and a light skip in her step. “Hey, you.” She greeted when she reached him and her smile was so contagious that he couldn’t help but let out his own.

“Hey, you.” He answered, noticing how giddy she looked. “Done writing those letters?”

She bobbed her head up and down, “Yeah, they’ll no doubt flip when they receive it.” She started to chortle.

Bill grinned at her, yeah he could just picture the old gang doing just that; he wouldn’t even be surprised if one of them showed up out of the blue tomorrow for the occasion. Silence hung between them and he noticed Y/N biting her lower lip, anxiously swaying around on her heel.

“Want to talk? I reckon we can spare a few words before dinner.”

She immediately nodded her head so they stalked off towards one of the few uprooted tree trunks (courtesy of Norberta according to Charlie) and sat down. The crickets had just started to ring out and they looked at the pink and orange hues of the sky as the sun slowly drifted off for the night. Smoke escaped the stone chimney of the cottage; Charlie must’ve started making dinner.

Bill sighed and ran a hand through his no doubt, messy ginger locks in an attempt to tame it, but it just stuck to his still sweaty forehead. Y/N must’ve noticed his plight because she dug out a handkerchief from the pocket of her jeans and handed it to him together with one of her elastic bands around her wrist.

He immediately tied his hair back into a ponytail, wiping his forehead with the handkerchief and pocketed it.

She gave him a look and he raised a brow in question. She shook her head, “Nothing.”

He nudged her with his elbow, “Come on, I know that look, I’ve seen it a million times. What’s on your mind?” He did pride himself in knowing a lot about her, maybe sometimes even more than Charlie, and it brought him some sort of comfort.

She breathed deeply, “I just can’t believe we’re really doing this. My mind’s still reeling. I mean, what if we’re heading into this too fast without really thinking it through?”

If she only knew that his mind was reeling as well. Putting on his best older brother facade, he placed a hand on her shoulder in encouragement. “It’ll be fine Y/N. Charlie and you... you’re two pieces of a puzzle. Besides, both of you are head over heels with each other even during our Hogwarts years, so it’s not exactly a surprise to see the both of you decide to settle down early.”

“What? Charlie did not like me back at Hogwarts.” She laughed as she shook her head, “It was always dragons with him. However frustrating it was, it’s part of his charm.”

“Ha! Please, Charlie liked you even if he didn’t realize it. I mean, other than dragons, he only talked about you for most of the time.” He saw the blush rush to her face with that newfound knowledge

His words seemed to do the trick as he saw her visibly relax and flash a smile at him. “You’re the best, Bill.” She pulled him into a hug and though surprised, he found himself hugging her back.

“You know you’ve always got me.” He told her through the cracks forming in his heart.

They were family now and she would be the best sister-in-law he could ever have asked for.

The hug didn’t seem to last long enough as she pulled away. She soon stood up, signaling the end of their conversation and so he did too.

Was he still smiling? He didn’t know, and if he wasn’t, Y/N chose not to comment. “You know I’ve always got your back too.” She said before the both of them slowly made their way back to the cottage.

“Y/N-” He called out to her just before they reached the doorway. Y/N stopped and turned back to him, raising a brow in question. “You should take another week off after the wedding, I’ll cover for you at work so you don’t have to worry.”

She beamed at him which made everything worth it. If she only knew he’d do anything for her. “Did I tell you that you’re the best?”

He grinned, “You did earlier actually,” He moved ahead and opened the door for her, “but I don’t mind hearing it again often.”

She let out a hearty laugh and playfully struck him on the chest. “Oh, you!” She went inside, running her boots on the welcome mat. “Charlie! Guess what!” She called out and proceeded to the kitchen where her fiancé was waiting for them.

Bill shook his head and let out a soft chuckle.

Y/N may not be his ever after but he was glad that Charlie, and not anyone else, was hers.

———————————————

Related Stories: No Expectations | After Breakfast

Permanent Taglist:

@oreofrappiewithblueberry , @coffeeismylife28

#charlie weasley x reader #charlie weasley x mc #bill weasley x reader #bill weasley x mc #harry potter fanfiction #charlie weasley #bill weasley #hphm fanfiction #hphm mc #the weasleys

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whatiwillsay · 3 years

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Hey Cam! It's the roommate anon from Nat's blog. I was really freaking out for the whole of yesterday for reasons, but I've relaxed a bit now, and I remembered that I didn't answer your question about the songs on my roomie and I's cooking playlist lol

We have a 10 song limit for each artist, so I switch some of the Taylor songs up every so often just because there are so many different songs that I like, but at the moment, the songs on there are:

— State of Grace — I think this is one of the best songs on Red

— Shake It Off — My roomie doesn't like this song lol. I can always tell when she doesn't like a song because she'll grimace when it starts playing lmao. But I love it. I can relate to it a lot

— Cardigan — I can tell that she actually secretly really likes this. She even asked me what it was called

— No Body, No Crime — I think she likes this one too. We make jokes about it

— Dorothea — This is one of my faves from Evermore

— Tell Me Why — I don't think she likes this one, but I love it. I think it's so fun

— Fearless — Just because it's so nostalgic

— Everything Has Changed — This song always kinda makes me think of her. I don't know why

— Red — This song always kinda reminds me of her too. Again, I don't really know why because the lyrics don't even fit her. I think it's more the sound

— All Too Well — I mainly only keep this one on because I can tell she likes it

— This Love — I don't really like this one, but I keep it on because she loves it. I think she finds it calming

— Cowboy Like Me — We both love this one. It's another one of my favorites

— Cornelia Street — I can't tell if she likes this one or not, but I like it. She has mixed reactions to it. Sometimes she listens, and sometimes she talks over it a lot

It turns out that I broke the limit without realizing because when I counted, I realized I actually had 13 songs on there. But I mean, technically I only keep 3 of those songs on there because she likes them, so it's not really cheating imo lol

She drags me for being a Taylor fan sometimes, and she'll make jokes like "I can't believe I live with a Swiftie", but I can tell that she actually really likes some of Taylor's songs. She'll never admit that she likes a song, but I can usually tell by the way she reacts. She'll stay pretty much silent for the entire song and will seem a little distracted from what she's doing, so you can tell she's listening intently. Also, she'll sometimes replay them, and if I ever tease her about it, she just smiles and tell me to shut up lol

I think I can see what most of the Taylor songs that she seems to like have in common. She likes songs like Cowboy Like Me, Lover, Cardigan, This Love, Willow. Like they're all more calm and chilled out sounding songs

There were some songs that I used to have on there that were just making me feel really awkward for some reason, so I took them off

I also had to take off some songs because I realized they were taking her back to a bad place. She had a pretty rough childhood, so it's usually songs that mention childhood or parents or any really difficult emotional situations

Like she HATED Hoax. I think it was too sad for her

I put Never Grow Up and The Best Day on the playlist for Mother's Day last year because I'm an ✨idiot✨ and didn't use my brain first. They both nearly made her cry, even though she doesn't cry easily at all. She skipped both of them halfway through

She also asked me to take Tolerate It off because she was finding it really difficult to listen to. She told me it reminds me too much of her mom

And Look What You Made Me Do actually made her kinda freak out. She was like, "Take this one off please, I don't like this one" in this kinda anxious voice

I do think she likes Clean because she'd always listen to it so intently, but she'd also start looking a bit stressed, so I got rid of that one

I'm trying to be more careful with the songs that I put on now. I double-check the lyrics first

That's the reason why I haven't recommended her any Taylor albums yet. I know some songs might bring back bad memories for her. Instead, I think I might make her a playlist of Taylor songs that I think she'll like instead. I haven't got around to it yet though

But then there are some songs that she just hates lmao

Like she hates ME! She would grimace every time it came on lol, and sometimes she'd put her hand down in her face or pretend to hit herself in the head with the chopping board. Or she'd groan and be like "Put me out of my misery"

She didn't like This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things either

She told me that London Boy was "one of the worst songs she's ever heard", but then she was humming it a lot for the next few days, so 💀

She also told me that she didn't really like 22 and that it was "a little annoying", but then she was humming that later as well

She has strange opinions on some songs though. Like she told me that she hates Welcome to New York because "it's so depressing", but to me, it's a really optimistic and hopeful song about new beginnings

I don't think she knows about Swiftgron. I actually don't know that much about Swiftgron myself because I only ended up on this side of Tumblr recently. It sounds interesting though, but I wouldn't even know where to start with learning more about it. It seems like there's so much content

I remember that I did mention that people think Taylor is closeted to her once in passing. She actually sounded interested. She was like "Is she?" Except I didn't really know much about the reasons why people think that back then, so I think I just said something like, "I don't know, but a lot of people think that", and that was where the conversation ended, and the topic hasn't really come up since

hey babe! so glad you’re here w me!

love these song choices it sounds like you guys have a lot of fun cooking together and it sounds like she totally wants to be a gaylor

here’s the whole story of swiftgron and here’s a more condensed list of proof if you’re interested! if you read my pinned post there’s a lot of resource links in there.

oh and if she doesn’t like London boy but she does like the music of it PLEASE play her cold war by cautious clay it’s the song taylor sampled for London boy and it’s veryyyyy vibey :)

maybe you ought to make her a playlist of songs that help you express how you feel about her like everything has changed (which btw is a swiftgron song!)

come back and chat whenever you like! i love your story.

#roommate anon <3 #if she likes This Love she's gay dude #i don't make the rules #that's a very gay song #Anonymous

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lesbianlotties · 3 years

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Folklore and/or Evermore (the new Taylor Swift albums)

Oh my God. Okay. This got out of hand. There’s too much to unpack here. I have to say folklore wins in my opinion. but I tried my best. it’s probably too much, so....

Folklore AND Evermore x Andy/Quynh

Folklore:

"You know the greatest films of all time were never made” aka the Andromaquynh prequel we deserve

It’s about the “You drew stars around my scars. But now I'm bleedin'” the “Marked me like a bloodstain” the “Tried to change the ending, Peter losing Wendy,” the “But I knew you'd linger like a tattoo kiss. I knew you'd haunt all of my what-ifs. The smell of smoke would hang around this long.” but mostly it’s about Mortal Andy, tired, exhausted, done with the world and all it’s weight, just so Quynh arrives right on time and “when I felt like I was an old cardigan. Under someone's bed. You put me on and said I was your favorite”

“She had a marvelous time ruining everything" sound a little bit like Quynh smiling at Andy after the two of them successfully put an end to the crimes of many villians through history, doesn’t it?

my tears ricochet: extremely Andromaquynh song. I could make an entire post about it. starting with the “if I'm on fire, you'll be made of ashes, too,” and of course “'Cause I loved you, I swear I loved you. 'Til my dying day”

Quynh watching Andy go on without her but still mourning “I didn't have it in myself to go with grace. And you're the hero flying around, saving face. And if I'm dead to you, why are you at the wake?” And there’s Quynh’s memory haunting Andy, and Andy still wearing her necklace “You know I didn't want to have to haunt you. But what a ghostly scene. You wear the same jewels that I gave you. As you bury me”

and when they’re reunited Andy wouldn’t fight it if Quynh wanted to kill her “And you can aim for my heart, go for blood. But you would still miss me in your bones” So many times she had wished Quynh would be dead, it would be easier than knowing she was still suffering, but still hurt “You had to kill me, but it killed you just the same.”

“Please picture me in the weeds. Before I learned civility. I used to scream ferociously. Any time I wanted” two immortal wives, older than civilization, loving each other and traveling through unknown lands

Now, imagine all the legends these two women started, loving each other for longer than love has been a thing, “Passed down like folk songs Our love lasts so long”

A concept: When she comes back, Quynh find Booker first instead of Andy because “I didn't know if you'd care if I came back. I have a lot of regrets about that.” because “They told me all of my cages were mental. So I got wasted like all my potential. And my words shoot to kill when I'm mad” and “And it's hard to be at a party when I feel like an open wound. It's hard to be anywhere these days when all I want is you.”

When losing Quynh, life completely changed for Andy, colors lost meaning “You showed me colors you know I can't see with anyone else” and she still knows all those dead languages that only Quynh and her remembered “You taught me a secret language I can't speak with anyone else”

Andy lived maybe 3k years of loneliness, just so she could find Quynh, and it was absolutely worth it, “Time, curious time. Gave me no compasses, gave me no signs. Were there clues I didn't see? And isn't it just so pretty to think, All along there was some, Invisible string, Tying you to me?”

Quynh dealing with completely understandable and fair rage toward humanity? oh, you mean “No one likes a mad woman. What a shame she went mad. You made her like that”?

The first time they dream of each other after dying , the first time they allow themselves to hope, “Only twenty minutes to sleep. But you dream of some epiphany. Just one single glimpse of relief. To make some sense of what you've seen”

“you heard the rumors from Sebastien, you can’t believe a word he says i’m still immortal i swear”

“I'm a fire and I'll keep your brittle heart warm. If your cascade, ocean wave blues come” and it’s been five hundred years and Andy has known no peace, not until she gets her lover back, “Would it be enough if I could never give you peace?”

“My only one. My smoking gun. My eclipsed sun. This has broken me down. My twisted knife. My sleepless night. My winless fight. This has frozen my ground. Stood on the cliffside screaming, "Give me a reason". Your faithless love's the only hoax I believe in. Don't want no other shade of blue but you. No other sadness in the world would do” Do i have to add something? That’s complete and absolutely Andy talking about Quynh

Evermore:

“I'm like the water when your ship rolled in that night. Rough on the surface, but you cut through like a knife” Andy is definitely the type to appear too tough and then Quynh shows up as her only weakness.

“There's an ache in you, put there by the ache in me“ and it’s five hundred years of aching

A concept: Andy and Quynh going around killing horrible men while “No body, No crime” plays in the background

“Haunted by the look in my eyes. That would've loved you for a lifetime” for endless lifetimes

okay. coney island. listen... picture Andy wondering why, wondering how did she lose Quynh, weren’t they supposed to be immortal, supposed to be together until the end? “If I can't relate to you anymore Then who am I related to? And if this is the long haul, How'd we get here so soon?”

picture Andy, keeping some of the traditions she had with Quynh, but going there alone “Were you waiting at our old spot, In the tree line”

and worst of all, picture Andy, when she realized she was mortal, when Booker shot her, when she thought she was about to die, but also maybe every day since then “When the sun goes down, The sight that flashed before me was your face”

“you’re an immortal cowboy like me” was the first thing andy said to quynh “Now you hang from my lips. Like the Gardens of Babylon (andy was literally there). With your boots beneath my bed. Forever is the sweetest con” and of course, it’s undeniable Andy has said “I'm never gonna love again“ countless times since losing Quynh

And here we have Andy trying to explain to Quynh the existential crisis she had while waiting for her “And I fell from the pedestal. Right down the rabbit hole. Long story short, it was a bad time. Pushed from the precipice. Climbed right back up the cliff. Long story short, I survived”

“If I didn't know better, I'd think you were still around. What died didn't stay dead. You're alive, you're alive in my head. What died didn't stay dead. You're alive, so alive” SHE IS

There’s Andy going “It's been a long time. And seeing the shape of your name, Still spells out pain” but there’s also Quynh going “Don't treat me like Some situation that needs to be handled, I'm fine with my spite”

Consider: Andy, drowning in guilt, replaying the witches’ trials on her head. Andy writing letters to Quynh, having nowhere to send them, “I replay my footsteps on each stepping stone. Trying to find the one where I went wrong. Writing letters. Addressed to the fire” and then Andy finding strength just because of the thought of Quynh, “And when I was shipwrecked, I thought of you, In the cracks of light, I dreamed of you, It was real enough, To get me through” and finally, Andy desperately believing Quynh would come back, their hope restored, “I couldn't be sure I had a feeling so peculiar This pain wouldn't be for Evermore”

send me an album and I’ll make it about Andromaquynh

#it's unfair how some of these song fit so well #also please appreciate my jokes ghjfdgh #the old guard #andy x quynh #andromaquynh #immortal wives #andromache the scythian #quynh #i need a little pause before doing the next two albums but please everyone you're welcome to send more!#andromaquynh albums

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thechrisramos · 3 years

Text

Taylor Swift’s Evermore Review

This evening as I was stuck in traffic, driving back from holiday shopping all day for myself because let me tell you something if I don’t give myself something for Christmas, no one will. Anyway, there was not a lot going on at that moment, so I opened Facebook and was hit with great news: Taylor Swift was releasing YET ANOTHER ALBUM, a sister album to folklore named evermore.

Several hours later, at 11:11pm on December 10th, 2020 – after wrapping up my workout for the day and taking a shower – I’m tucked in bed, with a glass of cold water in hand, AirPods in (the pro ones obvi), about to listen to her newest album. So, let’s review it.

willow

Ok, so the instruments are a little more pronounced right away, I suspected this already because the album artwork was in color instead of black and white.

I really liked this song, I don’t know what it is about alternative music that just hits me where it needs to (unlike any other genre), and Taylor is such a great songwriter that I can always feel the meaning in her words even if I don’t relate.

However, I can relate to this one. My favorite lyric:

The more you say The less I know Wherever you stray I follow

I’ve said this to a guy before lol, he ghosted me after three weeks. But those three weeks were everything. Heaven and hell. If you wanna learn more about him read my past posts, you’ll find them right away.

Anyway, I don’t have a man right now, and I don’t want one, but like I said, I can feel the words.

champagne problems

Sadness.

You know what I’ve realized, and maybe everyone already knew this, but when going through a breakup a lot of the pain comes from the other person doing all the things we did together, but with someone else. Even if you were the one to break up the relationship, it still hurts. And this song is just that.

I cannot relate to this song personally because I’ve never done this to a person, but I do like to think that the shitty guy who obliterated my heart last January (yeah, the one I mentioned above) felt this way. Probs not.

Favorite lyrics:

She’ll patch up your tapestry that I shred And hold your hand while dancing Never leave you standing

I really enjoyed the piano on this one.

gold rush

Ok, a poppy beat. I like it.

While folklore was mostly not about her life, so far evermore seems very personal, yet very relatable. Gold rush obviously refers to the California gold rush, and thousands (millions? I don’t know, I was educated in Texas) of people relocating to California so they could dig up some gold. Perceptibly, the gold in this case refers to her man, and how everyone wants him (at least in her head).

Favorite lyrics:

I don’t like slow motion double vision in rose blush

I just like how she can make any words fit. Like, how does she do it?

What must it be like to grow up that beautiful?

Something that we all wonder about hot people. This song is about the insecurity that comes with being in a relationship, which is why I don’t like being in relationships.

‘tis the damn season

I like this one because it considers what a lot of us consider as well. The what if?

I don’t know if she wrote this one thinking about herself because as far as we know she is really happy with her man, and I really hope it stays that way. But when she says:

And the road not taken looks Real good now

Was she maybe wondering what life would’ve been like with her hometown lover? I don’t know. But I mean we all definitely consider things like this at some point in our lives, not necessarily about hometown lovers, but about past ones.

Favorite lyrics:

You could call me “babe” for the weekend ‘Tis the damn season Write this down

I assume she means the holiday season because don’t we all wish we had someone during it, but like just for the “weekend”? I know I do, but no.

tolerate it

This song is about that looming feeling that takes over a lot of us after the “honey moon” period at the beginning of a relationship is over. The moments where you start to consider whether something is a red flag or whether you are imagining it. I think it happens to everyone, but I don’t want to generalize.

Favorite lyrics:

If it’s all in my head tell me now Tell me I’ve got it wrong somehow

While you were out building other worlds, where was I?

Now I’m begging for footnotes in the story of your life

For me, all of these lyrics show the insecurities that are typical in a relationship. It’s actually a little painful when you go through it, and it’s almost like you want your partner to wear a bodycam so that you can see and hear every conversation they have, to listen to the way they say things, their tone of voice, compliments they give and to who, just every detail of their life.

It sucks to feel that way.

no body, no crime (feat. HAIM)

Pop country?

This one is just really, like a lot to take in. Obviously, it’s not about Taylor, but it’s told by a person whose friend Este was “murdered” (cheated on I assume); however, I think Este is singing the song. I don’t know, there are many ways you could interpret this story.

I was really impressed though by how it goes from:

But I ain’t letting up until the day I die

to:

I wasn’t letting up until the day he Died

My assumption is that it’s about cheating and seeing all the clues, but not having the evidence to prove it, but still avenging yourself in the end. I liked this song.

happiness

The song is a question, “how does something great end?”

“We were so happy, when did it change?”

You know, these are questions that you will ask yourself at some point in your life.

I’m just now realizing that evermore is about why being in a relationship sucks, maybe we’ll get why being in a relationship is great with the rest of the songs, but so far Taylor is doing a great job at reminding me why I don’t want to be in a relationship, and perfect timing because ‘tis the damn season.

This song is the epitome of “easier said than felt”:

There’ll be happiness after you But there was happiness because of you

No matter how many times you tell yourself this, when you’re going through a break up, this won’t help because you want them to be your happiness.

There’ll be happiness after me But there was happiness because of me

This one will hurt when your ex finds someone else because not only do they know that there is happiness after you, but they found the happiness after you.

Leave it all behind And there is happiness

Like I said, easier said than felt.

dorothea

The words we all wish our high school crush would say to us.

Do you ever stop and think about me?

Yes.

coney island (feat. The National)

I think we are entering the “pondering” songs, the ones where you don’t necessarily feel anything for the person, but you’re just thinking about them, and in the case of this song, all the ways you wronged them.

I have never done this to a person because nobody wants me lol. My favorite lyrics:

Will you forgive my soul When you’re to wise to trust me and too old to care?

I don’t know, there’s something honest about the question.

ivy

Are the songs getting more philosophical by now, or am I just dumb?

So far, this has been the song that I just cannot understand. Reading over the lyrics once again, I think this is a song about two separately married people having an affair, but not being able of letting go of each other even though they are “promised” to other people.

I don’t know, somebody enlighten me!

Favorite lyrics:

My pain fits in the palm of your freezing hand Taking mine, but it’s been promised to another

cowboy like me

Now I’m really doubting my mental capacity. What is a cowboy supposed to be like?

I think, and this might be completely wrong, this song is about being in the entertainment industry. About selling yourself within the industry as the “cream of the crop”, but knowing deep down you are not that, and then recognizing someone in the industry doing the same thing as you. You know, just two people going through life selling themselves as the best of the best, and finding comfort in having someone they can be their true selves with.

Favorite lyrics:

You’re a cowboy like me Perched in the dark Telling all the rich folks anything they wanna hear

long story short

Long story short, this is a song about falling and getting back up again.

While I really like the lyrics in the end, when she says she survived the fall from the precipice, these resonated with me a little more:

I always felt I must look Better in the rear view

I take this to mean something along the lines of “the idea of who I am looks better than who I actually am.” I really identify with this thought because if you met me you would probably think that I’m just so chill and funny (not to toot my own horn lol), but if you got to know me you’d pretty quickly realize I am anxiety-ridden and dislike people very much.

marjorie

For some reason I feel like this song is about a trans person, is that just me? Like, you were born again as Marjorie, and you have a dead name now, but the essence of who you are is not dead to me.

Maybe not. I don’t know.

This could also be about losing the person you love, and wishing you had appreciated and enjoyed the times you spent with them a little more. This seems more like it.

I love that Taylor’s writings can be interpreted in many ways, and you know it’s all deliberate. Like she planned it like that. Ugh, her mind!

Favorite lyrics:

Never be so kind You forget to be clever Never be so clever You forget to be kind

For me this is a message on how you should keep a good balance in who you are. A reminder to not lose track of yourself.

closure

Well, this song is about closure. The whole first part of the song resonated so much with me because, going back to the guy that broke my heart back in January, well:

It’s been a long time And seeing the shape of your name Still spells out pain It wasn’t right The way it all went down

While I have gotten over him, the lyrics above mirror how I felt for a really long time even though our “relationship” only lasted three weeks (I’m not exaggerating). By the way, this guy and I were never official or anything.

Favorite lyrics:

It cut deep to know ya Right to the bone

This is still true. But yeah, I don’t need his closure (not that he would ever reach out), but I got my own closure, and that’s all that matters.

evermore (feat. Bon Iver)

And I couldn’t be sure I had a feeling so peculiar This pain wouldn’t be for Evermore

Coming back to closure and getting over a break up, there’s nothing more painful than the feeling you get when you get broken up with. Every day that you are not with this person, you think of new things you miss about them, and that’s what makes it painful. You keep telling yourself that you’ll get over them, but as the days go by you start doubting whether that is true (btw it’s true), and that’s why those lyrics are so significant.

Thoughts:

Well, I really liked this album just like I did folklore. I think Taylor is entering a new phase in her life. NOT a new era that goes with an album and ends when a new one comes out, but a new phase. That phase when you let go of the immature kid inside of you, and start focusing on yourself instead of others. These past couple of albums have shown that. I’m not saying that Taylor was immature btw, or that she is no longer youthful, but she definitely has a more adult-like air about her.

She also makes it clear why she is the Apple Music’s Songwriter of the Year. Her lyrics are just magnificent, she is able to say so much in a few verses, and she, like, cuts so deep with paper-thin words. It’s impressive, and I definitely see her as poet (since forever).

Anyway, I hope y’all like the album as well, and I hope Taylor keeps making music because I definitely LOVE IT!

Make sure to stream and/or buy her latest album here:

Apple Music

Spotify

YouTube

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