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glorystark · 16 days

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Empty eyes | Dean Winchester x Reader

Summary: Dean doesn't take Charlie's death too well and because of the Mark of Cain affecting him, he tells you things that will regret.

Warnings: moc!Dean Winchester, Dean being a dick, minor mentions of injury, swearing, ANGST, major character's death

Pairing: Dean Winchester × reader

Featuring: Sam Winchester

Word count: 2,3k

We watched in agony as Charlie's body, wrapped around a white sheet, burned in the flames. This should never have happened to her kind soul. She died so we could save Dean. I couldn't help but feel guilty; my heart ached because I lost a friend, again. I knew Sam felt the same. We both asked Charlie for help with the Book of the Damned, and we both lied to Dean about the book being destroyed. Now it was too late to make things right. Memories flashed through my eyes, making me tear up. I remembered when she helped us with the Dick situation, or when I taught her some hunter-kind-of-tricks. How happy she was and wouldn't stop thanking me. She didn't deserve this, anyone but her.

“Charlie,” Sam started, grabbing my and probably Dean's attention. “We are gonna miss you. You're the best.” He stopped when his voice cracked, and now I was sure he felt far worse than me because looking back, he suggested not telling Dean about the Book of the Damned not being destroyed, which I didn't agree with at first. But seeing Dean, my Dean, slowly fade away right in front of my eyes changed my opinion. Maybe it was selfish, me and Sam both were. But we couldn't let Dean become something he fears, a Monster. We couldn't lose another person, another family member, but we didn't realize who we were putting in danger on this path.

“We love you, Charlie, and I'm so sorry,” I said, blinking through tears.

“Shut up,” Dean said coldly, making Sam and me look at him. “You got her killed. You don't get to apologize.” He continued.

“Dean-“ Sam started, but Dean cut him off.

“You too, you two are the reason she is dead,” he said, not taking his eyes off the flames.

“We were trying to help you,” I said, still looking at him.

“I didn't need help,” he said bitterly. "I told you to leave it alone.”

“What were we supposed to do, just watch you die?” Sam asked, not letting me be the only one receiving the cold tone from his older brother.

“The mark isn't gonna kill me.”

“Maybe not, but when it's done with you, you won't be you anymore,” I stated. “Dean, you're all we got. So of course we were gonna fight for you because that's what we do,” I said softly.

“Yeah, she's right, we had a shot-“ Sam was cut off again by Dean.

“Yeah, you had a shot. Charlie is dead.” He finally turned his head to look at me and his brother, who was standing next to me. His dark emerald eyes bore into mine, and I couldn't recognize them. Never have I ever seen him look at me with those eyes. Because no matter how much crap we went through, he always made sure I was fine, and his eyes held nothing but sweetness and, on most occasions, worry. “Nice shot.”

“Are you even listening to me? You think I'm ever gonna forgive myself for that?!” I snapped, not being able to keep my voice down anymore. He is grieving, but so am I. If I could, I would trade places with her.

“You know what I think,” he started, still with the same voice tone. “I think it should be you up there and not her.”

I felt my heart break for the hundredth time today. I parted my lips, not taking my teary eyes off him, which clearly showed how hurt I was. Sam let out a small gasp and widened his eyes after he heard Dean's words, clearly not expecting his brother to go that far.

I knew he blamed me, probably even more than Sam. But knowing that he wanted me dead hurt more than any physical torture I've experienced.

Sam called his name, still shocked after what he heard, but his brother just walked away, breaking my heart more and more.

—————

It has been a week since I lost Charlie, since I lost my Dean. He has been searching for the Stynes ever since but has been having a bit of trouble finding their location. So meanwhile, he went on a few solo hunts. He hasn't said a word to me and to Sam, just a few like ‘buy some beers’ ‘did you find anything about the Stynes’.

He found another hunt for today and was packing his bag in his own room. We both haven't stepped in our shared room ever since the accident, which meant we weren't even sleeping on the same bed. I'm done with being ignored, so I knocked on his door and opened it without waiting for any response. He didn't even turn around, probably knowing it was me.

“Dean,” I called his name, not even knowing what I wanna talk about, but getting him to look at me was the first step. “Dean,” I called, this time louder, and when he still didn't turn around, I walked towards him and grabbed his arm. “Alright, I'm done. When will you finally stop ignoring me?!”

He looked at my hand, which was grabbing his arm, and slowly turned around, finally looking at my face. “I'm not ignoring you, I just don't want to talk to you or be near you,” he said bitterly, pulling his arm away and reaching for his door.

“Dean, you know you're not the only one who lost someone, okay? And believe me, I know it's my fault she's gone, and I'll never forgive myself for that. But, god, you're practically killing me. I miss you,” I said desperately, waiting for something in his eyes to change, waiting for him to embrace me in his strong arms, but... Nothing. His eyes didn't even hold hatred anymore, just emptiness.

“I don't know what you expect me to say, ‘I'm sorry you were so stupid’ ‘I'm sorry you got another person killed off’ ‘I'm sorry you're so fucking useless’ Huh?! Is that what you want me to say? You want me to feel sorry for you?!” he yelled, showing the anger and darkness in his eyes while he harshly slammed me to the wall, making me whimper slightly. His words cut deep into my skin, but I tried my best to ignore them, knowing this Dean wasn't really my Dean.

“I want you to understand, I want you to know that I'm sorry. I want you to tell me that we're gonna go through this like we always do,” I said softly, looking deeply into his eyes, trying to crack him.

He let out a dark chuckle and grasped my shoulders, lowering his head to be on the same height level with me. “You want me to tell you that we're gonna go through this? Well, baby, in that way, I'd be a big liar.”

“Dean, me and Sam, we are so close to saving you. Please, just don't let the mark control you,” I begged, feeling small under his touch.

“I don't want nor need you two saving me, and believe me, at this very moment, I'm trying to not let the mark control me, so don't provoke me,” he whispered against my ear, sending shivers down my spine.

"I thought you trusted me.”

“Well, that trust was destroyed when you got someone who was like a sister to me killed. Have you ever noticed how many innocent people died because you were being too stupid?” he said harshly.

"We all have made mistakes, Dean," I said, as I thought about the hunts where innocent people died, and I couldn't save them. I didn't want Dean to know how much his words were affecting me, but, god, I felt like a crumpled paper.

“Seems like that's the only thing you ever do,” he smirked, letting his eyes fall on the floor again before looking up at my eyes again. “Tell me, how does it feel knowing you don't mean anything to anybody and you're just a burden in our lives? How does it feel knowing nobody loves you?”

That's it. That was the punch line to make me break into tears.

“Y-you love me, you said that before.”

“You know I lie to get laid,” he said, smirking, proud of his response.

My heart was racing more and more, and I felt nauseous.

“Dean, please-“

“You're nothing, do you hear me? Nothing!” he grabbed my cheeks harshly. “Your existence doesn't matter. You.don't.matter.” he said, spitting the words out before letting me go. He took his bag and walked out of the room, not even glancing at me. I slid down the wall as I started sobbing silently.

Then I heard a buzz from my phone.

New message from Sammy:

“Y/N, Dean just said he found a hunt, probably three to four werewolves, and he told me to go with him. I was really surprised but didn't question him. I think he's getting better. I'll also talk to him on the road. Next time, he'll definitely ask you too, just like old times. Don't stay up and don't worry; we got this :) love you.”

He asked Sam to go, but not me. If he hadn't told me that he hated me a few minutes ago, I'd think he was worried. But if it was really 3 or 4 werewolves, there's nothing to be worried about. He just wants to stay away from me. He told me I was a burden to them; he'll probably throw me out of the bunker soon.

Dark thoughts ran through my mind, and suddenly a rush of anxiety ran through me. What if there were more than a few werewolves? What if they get hurt? What if Dean hates me even more?

I checked Sam's message again and saw that he sent me the address of where the werewolves' location is and where the hunt would probably take place. I quickly rushed to my room, grabbed my car keys, and went to drive to the location.

—————

I was hiding behind some of the trees in the forest, watching as each of the boys fought one werewolf, two already dead ones on the floor.

Everything seemed good so far; I mean, their guns were on the floor, but they were fighting each werewolf single handed and there was no need for me to make my presence known. The boys were winning as always. And that's when I realized they don't really need me in their life. I knew the words that came out of Dean's mouth tonight weren't really Dean's, my Dean. But he was somehow right; before I became the hunter I am today, I made many mistakes. Some were small, and some led to people getting hurt or even killed. I also put their lives in danger multiple times because I was being reckless. Finding the demons that killed my parents blinded my vision. I was ready to get back to the bunker when I saw both of the werewolves giving up until I noticed something.

A werewolf close to Sam's back, and it seemed like none of the brothers noticed him. I searched for my gun but remembered I forgot it in the backseat of my car. I cursed under my breath and did the only thing possible right now to save Sam. I couldn't let Dean lose another person, especially his brother, who I knew meant the world to him. I couldn't put him through something like that again when there's a chance to save the younger Winchester.

So I ran towards Sam, trying my best to not slip because of the woods on the floor. The Werewolf was close, and nobody noticed him. I'm not the only stupid one after all. The boys turned their heads to me for a slight second, surprised at my presence, but didn't stop fighting the other werewolves.

Until I pushed Sam away from the werewolf he was fighting onto the floor. He seemed confused at first, until he saw it. I assumed Dean did too but couldn't be too sure since he was behind me. I let out an agonizing scream when the werewolf grazed his claws into my stomach and the other one, which Sam was fighting before, grazed his claws into my back before my lifeless body fell on the floor. Dean didn't hesitate more seconds before getting his gun from the floor and shooting all the werewolves.

I was bleeding like a waterfall from my body and my mouth. But the good thing is-

I didn't feel any pain, or anything in that matter…

Dean Winchester’s Pov:

No no no.

This can't be happening.

It's all a nightmare, just another stupid nightmare.

I heard Sam's crying voice telling the love of my life, his best friend, to wake up, holding her torn apart body in his arms, asking her why she pushed him away. But there was no answer.

It's a nightmare happening in real life.

Her beautiful y/e/c are open but so empty, unrecognizable.

I stood over her body, not being able to move from my spot.

There is so much blood everywhere.

Her blood.

This is hell.

No, I’ve been to hell and it's worse than hell.

I started tearing up more and more, reality hitting me more every second.

I let out an angry scream and fell on my knees when I remembered my last words to her.

“You're nothing, do you hear me? Nothing! Your existence doesn't matter. You.don't.matter.”

She wasn't nothing, she was my everything.

She mattered, she was the reason I kept going, now she's gone and it's all my fault.

All my fault.

All of the words I said came back to me, making my chest hurt.

As I knelt beside her lifeless body, surrounded by the aftermath of our shattered world, I whisper into the silent abyss, "I'm sorry, Y/N. I'm so sorry."

And deep down I felt the Mark laughing…

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milkywaygalaxygurl · 3 months

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Tummy - Dean Winchester

bringing back on OLD obsession for this one:’) i’ve loved dean since i was 10 years old and first laid eyes upon him in all of his glory in supernatural. this is intended as a plus size reader, but anyone can read. sorry i disappeared for so long y’all, i can’t make any promises that i’ll be more active but i’ll try<3

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Plus Size!Reader

Warnings: none that i can think of:)

Word Count: 440(?)

This is another self indulgent fic, surprise! Dean loves reader’s soft tummy and they have slowly learned to love it too over the years of dating Dean. (i realized after writing this that it can be read by anyone, i don’t think i used any words to indicate the gender of reader. dean is probably ooc in this but honestly most dean fics are ooc so it’s fine lmao. sorry if this is ass)

Something you had very quickly learned about Dean is the fact that he loves to be held. You’d never think it was true just from looking at him, the tough hunter who never lets his guard down. You never would have believed it yourself until the first time he simply laid in between your legs, resting his head on your plush tummy without saying a word.

It quickly became a routine after that. In the beginning it made you a little insecure that he chose your stomach of all places to use as a pillow, but Dean very quickly put an end to your insecurities. He made sure to always lift your shirt slightly and lightly kiss the exposed skin, murmuring about how perfect you are and how lucky he is to always have a pillow no matter where he goes.

After years of the routine, the insecurities were long forgotten and you learned to love those moments just as much as Dean. You’d play with his hair while he held tightly to your hips or traced your stretch marks, hushed conversations about one another’s days or moods being shared. Dean lived for those moments, lived to be held and cared for in the way he always longed for. After so many years of caring for everyone else and never really having the favor returned, it felt amazing to just be taken care of.

Dean often wondered why you were so willing to provide the treatment he so desperately needed, but he never had the balls to ask you about it. His questions were answered one night when you whispered something to him, something that nearly made him cry.

“Thank you for trusting me enough to let me care for you, my love. I know you need this and I am so glad that you chose me to be the one to provide it for you. I will always try my hardest to provide you with the love and care you deserve because I know you’d do the same for me.” Your voice was so soft, your touch even softer as you lightly ran your fingers down his back.

Dean was honestly so overwhelmed with love and gratitude for you that he found himself at a loss for words. Instead, he only nuzzled your soft tummy and laid about a million kisses to any exposed skin he could find. He would never be able to make sense of how he got so lucky to have you, how after of all the shitty things he’d done and been through he still somehow was able to be deserving of a soul as gentle and pure as your own.

#supernatural #spn #spnfandom #supernatural x reader #supernatural x you #dean winchester #dean winchester x reader #dean winchester fanfiction #spn fanfic #supernatural fanfiction #spn fandom #supernatural fandom #plus size!reader #dean winchester x plus size reader #dean winchester x you

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apocalypseornaw · 5 months

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Prove It (Pt 2/5)

Dean Winchester x Reader

Dean comes home to find you gone

Dean was leaning against the bar when he saw Sam come back inside. He'd went to call you so you wouldn't be worried that they weren't back yet. The look on Sam's face had him pushing away from the bar and meeting him halfway "What's wrong?"

Sam looked down at his phone which was still in his hand before asking "Dean did you do something to Y/N?" Dean shook his head slowly, "What do you mean?" "She said she didn't give a damn when you got home and hung up on me"

The moment of realization hit Dean like a brick wall "Sammy, I fucked up"

The entire drive home Dean and Sam took turns trying to call you. You must have turned your phone off after a while because it had gone from ringing to the voicemail "If you have this number you know who this is and what to do so there's the beep"

"I can't believe I forgot" Dean said for what felt like the thousandth time. You had told him, you'd fucking told him that you were planning a surprise. What the hell kind of shitty boyfriend was he if he couldn't even come home for the surprise? Or remember it for fucks sake.

"She's just turned her phone off to get some sleep. Her feelings are hurt but she'll forgive you" he knew Sam didn't even believe himself at that point. You did everything for both of them, had for years. You were Sam's best friend and Dean was head over heels yet between the two of them they couldn't manage to rub two brain cells together to remember such an important date.

You deserved to be pissed, you deserved to ignore him. You deserved so much more than to be forgetten. "SON OF A BITCH" he slammed his hand on the steering wheel seeing Sam flinch slightly.

"It's gonna be ok Dean" Sam tried but he shook his head "and if it's not?" He asked and Sam didn't even attempt to lie or come up with some optimistic twist. Sam knew him, he knew that you had pulled him out of such a dark place even long before the two of you had gotten together. You'd been in their lives for so long, the only constant, the glue when they tried to fall apart. They'd you for granted, Dean had taken you for granted and the thought of losing you was too much.

Dean walked into the bunker and until that moment he'd never realized just how loud complete silence was. There was no music playing marking where you were, no sounds of pages flipping if you were reading, no water running for a shower and most of the lights were off leaving the entire bunker lit in that eerie blue color the auxiliary lights let off.

"Check your room, I'll check the garage for her car" Sam told Dean and patted his shoulder before walking off. Dean knew without checking the room, without seeing if your car was in the garage without any other confirmation but the heavy weight in his stomach. You were gone.

-----------

Dean walked into the room he shared with you and immediately noticed your jacket gone off the hook next to the bed. He didn't have to check dressers, they'd be empty. Your boots were gone from next to the bed.

On the table in the corner of the room sat a dark green gift bag, next to it was a covered pie and a card with his name written in your handwriting.

He walked over and picked up the card. When he opened it he sat down on one of the chairs and began to read. You'd poured your heart out onto the page saying how much you loved him and how important it was to you that he knew he deserved to be celebrated and how happy you were with him.

By the time he was through reading he had to lay the card down and close his eyes from the flow of emotions. He'd let you down, the one person you should always be able to count on and he hadn't been there for you. "Dean?" He opened his eyes to see Sam standing at the door. "She's gone Sammy"

He looked at the gift bag and pulled it closer to look inside. A signed led zeppelin album. He laid it back into the bag then opened the pie, apple. When Sam noticed what he was doing he motioned to the hall "There's steaks potatoes and grilled vegetables in the fridge"

"She made all my favorites. She chased down an album that probably took her weeks to get her hands on. She sat here waiting for me to come home to celebrate the last six years we've been together and I couldn't even do that for her" Dean laid his head back against the wall. "I gotta find her Sam. I got to try to make up for this, to show her just what she means to me"

Sam nodded "I'll start making phonecalls to see if anyone's seen her" Dean nodded, his mind imagining you sitting there waiting for him. The excitement giving way to worry then to betrayal. How could he forget?

@lacilou @suckitands33 @lyarr24 @decadentstrangernacho @nix-rose @irgendwas122 @deans-baby-momma @deans-spinster-witch @tas898 @fluff-lover

#dean winchester x reader #dean winchester x female!reader #supernatural fanfiction #spn fanfiction #dean winchester fanfiction #prove it mini series

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lotanxiety · 6 months

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You’re not alone

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader

Summary: Dean and Sam notice you aren’t taking good care of yourself and they are worried about you. Dean talks you through it and offers support.

Warnings: mentions of ED, SH, and depression, this has some seriously heavy shit so if this triggers you PLS don’t read, fluff with dean

——————————————————

You have lived in the bunker with the boys for 3 years. Lately, your mental health has been really bad, but you were trying to hide it from Sam and Dean. With everything they dealt with on a daily basis, the last thing you wanted them to worry about was you.

It all started 4 months ago when you started having nightmares and flashbacks of the times you almost died. You were pretty sure you had PTSD, but with your lifestyle, therapy wasn’t really an option. You grew up with abusive parents which didn’t help with the accumulating trauma. The body keeps score and it seemed to all be catching up with you now. First, it was the nightmares, then the dissociating. The only times you felt alive were when you would fight monsters which led to your newest bad habit.

Whenever you didn’t feel real or got angry with yourself for whatever reason, you would take it out on your hips. It was something you could control. It reminded you that you’re real and it’s served as a punishment when you felt you deserved it. Seeing the red lines across your hips made you happy when everything else seemed grey.

As if it couldn’t get any worse, it was increasingly more difficult to get out of bed each morning. You would forget basic human necessities like eating, drinking, or bathing. You were able to hide your struggles before, but now it’s becoming noticeable. On the days the boys were home, you would fake it the best you could so they wouldn’t pick up on anything wrong, but not anymore. Maybe you want someone to notice. Maybe you finally want to be saved and cared for the way you save others.

———————-

*around noon*

“Hey, have you seen Y/N?” Dean asked Sam walking into the kitchen.

“No, I haven’t seen her all day.” Sam said. “Have you noticed.. she seems a little quiet lately. I also noticed she’s been having more nightmares lately.”

“I noticed that too, I can hear her scream out sometimes. I mean we all get nightmares, but these seem bad. Have you not talked to her about it at all?” Dean questioned.

“No, I thought you would’ve mentioned it.” Sam said.

“Dude, she’s obviously going through something and neither of us have checked up on her? Way to go.” Dean scoffed as he headed in the direction of your room.

—————————

You were laying on your bed, staring at the wall thinking of all the ways you have messed up lately. The last hunt you were out on, you made a mistake that almost got Sammy killed. Now, you opt to stay back and reference the lore. You replayed every mistake over and over in your head. Suddenly a knock interrupts your ‘greatest hits’.

You clear your throat, “um, who is it?” you ask.

“It’s Dean, can i come in.”

You look around to the mess of your room, random items taking up space on your bed with you. Suddenly, you become embarrassed and ashamed. “I- uh, do you need something?” You shout to the man on the other side of the door.

“I haven’t seen you all day, I just wanted to check up on you. Are you feeling okay?” Dean asks with concern.

*coughing loudly* “No I think I’ve come down with something, you should stay away.” You say, trying to sound sickly.

“Oh, ok. I can bring you some soup if you like” Dean asks, knowing you’re lying but trying to get through to you.

“I’m not hungry, thanks though” You say, pushing any kind of help away. You didn’t understand why you do this. You want help but then it comes and you resist at all costs. Maybe because this mess you’re feeling is comfortable, familiar. You’ve always been messed up, but now it’s just manifesting on the outside. When it was bottled up, it was easy to hide from everyone, but this is much harder and every lie you tell drains you more and more.

“You need to eat” Dean contested.

“I said no, now can you please go” The words felt like knives being thrown at the closed door. You didn’t mean to be so aggressive, but Deans pushing set off a nerve. Immediately you felt bad, but knew you couldn’t look at his face so you sat still in your bed as you heard hushed footsteps fade away. Feeling hot tears burn in your eyes, you walked over to your bathroom, and grabbed your razor. Anger towards yourself coursed through your veins, into your hands, as you unleashed hell onto your body. Saying to yourself, “You deserve this for being mean to Dean, he was just trying to be nice. He doesn’t deserve that. What’s wrong with you, etc.”

When you’re satisfied, your hips are stained red. You clean up and go back to laying in your bed, as you cry yourself to sleep.

——————-

That evening

“I don’t know Sammy, I think there’s something really wrong. Earlier- the way she spoke to me. It wasn’t her. I need to talk to her, to see her face, but she keeps pushing me away. I don’t know what to do. I’m worried… I’m worried it’s worse than just nightmares.” Dean confides to his brother.

“Yeah, I’m worried too. Maybe we can set up a movie night in the Dean cave and coax her out of her room. I think having some quality time, not worried about monsters could help.” Sam suggested.

“Okay, yeah. You run to the store and get some supplies and I’ll break out blankets and pillows. Meet back here in 30.” Dean says hopeful. He hated knowing that you were upset, but he wanted this to help so badly. He worked hard at getting his Dean cave set up perfectly. He even made a blanket fort. Once Sam and Dean finished setting everything up, the came to knock on your door.

You had just woken up from your restless nap. Unfortunately, the day wasn’t even over so you were back to laying in misery. You heard another knock on your door.

“Hey uh, we need your help in the Dean cave” Dean said from behind the door, you could almost hear the smile in his voice even though you couldn’t see him. While most other times you would decline, your curiosity got the best of you.

“Uhh okay, let me use the bathroom and I’ll be right there.” You said, getting up from your bed, ignoring the terrible headache. It stemmed from a combination of lack of food, water, good sleep, and crying so much. You looked in the mirror, repulsed by the face staring back at you, so you got to work making yourself as presentable as possible. After a much need brush through your hair (and teeth), a change of clothes, and some light makeup, you felt okay enough to make your public appearance. You left your bedroom, quickly shutting the door behind you to hide the mess, and headed towards the Dean cave.

When Dean and Sam laid their eyes on you for the first time in days, their mouths dropped. You looked awful. Bags under your eyes and barely skin and bone. You were always skinny, but this- this was bad. Both of the brothers concern immediately sky rocketed, but being as smart as they are, they knew to play it off. They knew if they outright said anything, you’d get defensive and shut down. So they quickly glanced at each other and greeted you like any other day. You were too busy looking at the scene in front of you to notice the boys faces.

“What- what is all this” you say surveying the room in awe.

“We thought you could use a little pick me up movie night.” Sam said with a soft smile on his face. Dean turned away from you to face the tv. It was too hard to look at you. He blamed himself for not checking on you sooner. For not immediately knowing there was something deeper going on. The cases had distracted him from the problem right under his nose and he was so angry at himself. You instantly noticed the change in his demeanor, making you uneasy. You thought he was still mad at you for the way you spoke to him earlier in the day. You made a mental note to apologize later. Sam opened up the blanket to let you sit beside him and so you did. In front of you, there was a whole display of food. Burgers, fries, popcorn, candy, you name it. The sight instantly made you nauseous.

You thought that you didn’t deserve food. Your mind = your greatest enemy. You pretended not to notice the food and encouraged them to start the movie. It was Alice In Wonderland- your favorite childhood movie you let slip one night with Dean after a beer too many. You glance across Sam to Dean who is staring at the TV but not actually watching. Sam nudges some fries in your direction, to which you shake your head.

“No thanks” you whisper over the beginning scene of the movie.

“Cmon Y/N, you haven’t eaten all day.” Sam said.

“Oh no, I had some granola bars in my room. I’ve been snacking on those-“ You lied.

“No you haven’t” Dean said finally speaking to you.

“What-“ you say looking at him confused, trying to play this off quickly.

“I’m not sure you’ve eaten anything in days” Dean starts.

“Dean-“ Sam interjects, trying to keep his brother from pushing you away.

“No, Sammy. She’s sick. Look at her.” Dean states.

Immediately, tears well up in your eyes. You knew you didn’t look your best but hearing Dean say that. It was too much. You wanted to head straight to your room to cut again, but Dean wasn’t finished talking.

“Y/N, I can’t walk on eggshells about this- you look terrible. What is going on?” Dean says in a much softer tone than before, his anger fading into worry.

“Nothings… going on.” you say.

“That’s not true and we all know it, can you just talk to us?” Sam asks.

Suddenly, that defense mechanism hits you strong and you attack the boys you love more than anything. You can’t help it. “I SAID I’M FINE. WOULD YOU BOTH JUST LEAVE ME ALONE AND GO BACK TO WORRYING ABOUT MONSTERS OR WHATEVER” you shout, exiting the room and heading straight for your bedroom.

You close the door behind you, still crying. The scene that just played out was one of your worst nightmares and partially why you have started staying locked in your room. You beeline for the bathroom to pick up the razor for a second time that day. You roll down your pants to the hidden canvas. Right before you can move, Dean bursts through your door.

You both freeze. Time stops for a couple seconds. Every mirage and illusion you’ve built over the past few months is shattered. The ugly, dirty truth is exposed. Your walls crumble to the ground. You refuse to lift your eyes from the ground as he approaches you. He takes the razor from your hands without saying a word and throws it to the other side of the bathroom and grabs you into his arms. You both crash to the floor, as you sob into chest. Dean hold you patiently while you let it all out. Everything you’ve been holding inside. There are a million thoughts going through Dean’s head, questions he has, but his main objective is just to be there for you. You needed him, and he wasn’t there. All the warning signs, ignored. He secretly blamed himself for letting it get this bad.

You both sit in the floor of your bathroom for a while. Your sobs slowly turned into quiet hiccups for air. You nervously lifted off of his chest, anxiously awaiting the conversation to follow the events that have just transpired. You finally make eye contact with Dean, his eyes are glassy and red.

“I’m sorry Y/N” Dean said barely above a whisper dragging his hand over your hair to brush it out of your tear soaked face.

You open and close your mouth, not expecting his response. “What are you sorry for?” you ask confused.

“I- I wasn’t there for you. I mean I knew something was off, but- but this. This is all my fault.” Dean says moving his hand to hold your cheek, a singular tear falling down his right cheek.

“No, no this isn’t your fault at all. I- I don’t know what to say.” You say, feeling the weight of the situation.

“You don’t have to say anything. We are going to get you some help. You’re not alone in this. You have Sam. You have me. This- this work is hard and I know you’ve had it rough, but you can and will get through this.” Dean says, as more tears begin to fall from your eyes, though you thought you couldn’t cry anymore.

“I need you to get better. I need my Y/N. Can you do that for me?” Dean asks, gently stroking your cheek and wiping the tears as they fall. You nod.

That night, the three of you work on tidying up your room. Dean filled Sam in privately and he wanted to help you in anyway he could. You guys went back to the Dean cave after your room was clean, and ate dinner. Dean even drank water with you instead of his normal beer so you would be more inclined to drink it.

Finally, it was time for bed. Dean walked to your room with you. “I wish you would’ve told me what has been going on with you, but I’m sorry if I made you feel like you couldn’t” Dean said.

“You didn’t- I just didn’t want you to worry about me when you’ve got a whole world and billions of people to worry about.” You say in response.

“I will always worry about you first. I care about you Y/N. I am here for you no matter what.” Dean says firmly, pulling you in for a hug. His chin rests on your head as you two stand in an embrace mid hallway.

“Dean, could you maybe- um stay with me tonight?” You ask.

“Of course”

Dean grabs your hand and pulls you towards your bed. He strips down to his boxers and climbs in, holding a spot next to him for you. You curl up next to him, feeling the heat radiate off his body, comforting you. “Thank you” you whisper as you quickly drift off into a much needed, nightmare free, deep sleep. Dean leans over to kiss your head as he whispers, “I love you Y/N”.

#dean winchester #dean winchester fanfiction #dean winchester x reader #fanfic #sam winchester #supernatural

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ellieslittleburrow · 4 months

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🎄 Christmas time with Dean

Warnings : none

Pairings : Dean x sister!reader.

-------

Little old you had just woken up when the door to your room clicked shut.

You lifted your head to look out and then dropped it back against the pillo-

Ouch-

A fairly soft but painful-nonetheless- object collides with the side of your cheek, you slide your hand under the pillow, fingers rumming around for the pain inducing thin- a box?!

You pull it out and a smile flashes on your face. It's a little blue box. You open it and your eyes glint with absolute astonishment as a bluish translucent stone sends adrenaline pumping through your whole body. It's a fucking jeremejevite!!!!

-----

Softly opening the door after knocking, you peek into the room when a soft chuckle leaves your lips at the sight in front you, Classic old Dean while laying in belly, eyes you from the side.

"What do you want?" Carelessness laces his voice. He almost sounds annoyed that you're there. Fucker.

"What's this?" You hold the box up and he looks away, munching on his pizza.

"What's it look like? It's a stone for your dumbass brain. It'll help you get smart-"

"Shut up, Dean" you cut him off before heading over to the side of the bed. "Help me put it on." You sit on the edge as he gets up on his knees, shifting over to kneel right behind you.

You hand him the necklace. And all suddenly quiets down. It's not uncomfortable. It's just weighed with unspoken words. A prison of things to say but things that neither of you can say.

"How'd you find it?" You speak. "I've been looking for it for so long." You try to sound neutral as excitement slowly builds up again. This stone has been on your list for ages. It's one of the rarest-And- the fact that you have one in such a tiny and elegant little form just sent you over the moon. "How?!"

Dean humms. " A special girl deserves a special christmas present."

A smile creeps up on your face, even though Dean is not be able to see it. You couldn't even think of how much he had to pay to get you this stone. And although it's very small, the idea of it being there was more than enough to fill you up with absolute joy.

"Merry christmas, buddy." The hunter snaps you out of your thoughts, slowly wrapping his arms around your chest as he rested his chin on your shoulder.

It must've been a bit uncomfy, considering that he's pretty big even when kneeling down. But he still held you tight anyway.

He, probably, couldn't say it to you in your face, either, resorting to hiding behind you.

You decide to lighten up the mood for him. Change subjects before he gets too uncomfy. "I'm...sorry, Dean. I didn't g-"

"Don't worry about it, no need for any of that."

You turn around, cocking your head to the side. Dean confidently smiles. But you know him well enough. You can tell.

"I'm just fucking with you." The second those words are processed, a grin takes over Dean's face and he laughs, nervous and excited.

"You got me, little goose. Now where's my christmas present?" Your brother rubs his hands together eagerly, but he stops when devilish smirk appears on your face. He really thought it'd be that easy?

"Where's the fun in that? It's somewhere around the house." You turn on your heels, chest puffed up and triumphant. Gotcha' Dean. "Summon me when you find it. Merry Christmas, D."

------

I just wrote this reeeally quickly so i'm sorry if there are any incoherences. I'll make sure to reread it when i have the time. I hope yall enjoyed iit. Peace and kissies. ❤️❤️❤️🥀🥀🥀

#sister!reader #sister x brothers #daughter!reader #sibling fic #winchester sister #baby winchester #little winchester #dean winchester x sister #dean winchester x sister!reader #dean winchester x daughter!reader #adoptive father troop #father figure fic #protective brother #christmas fic

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everydayyoulovemeless · 20 days

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Hi👋 love your work, it always make me smile every time you post

Can you do one about a ghost seeker who is still alive and in control of mind and body, just trapped in the suit, and how the different companions +dead money companions react to them?

FNV Companions (+Christine, Dean, and God/Dog) Reacting to a Ghost Seeker Who's Still Sentient

➼ Word Count » 0.9k ➼ Warnings » None ➼ Genre » Platonic

Boone almost shoots you on sight and probably would've if it weren't for how oddly you seemed to be acting. He'll set his gun down slowly, brows furrowed in confusion as you walk toward him like any other person would instead of the scrambled way the other ghost people moved. He doesn't really understand what you are, but when he learns you're not hostile, he'll leave you be. He's not too keen on letting you travel with him though, not entirely trusting that you won't snap at some point and turn on him, but he'll refrain from killing you. Just... keep your distance... if Boone's at the Madre, he's going to be paranoid and there's a high chance he'll accidentally shoot at you.

Arcade finds himself being amazed by your existence to the point where he may even grab your shoulders and peer at you in curiosity. He sees you as a sort of time capsule and, if you could communicate, would love to ask you all sorts of questions about life before the war, or even your positions on the political environment in the Mojave. If you want to stick with him for a bit, he'd quickly decide to try and find a cure for your condition. Maybe get you out of that suit? Cure the radiation? He's aware that it's wishful thinking, and he doesn't mind how you are now, but if he can make it even slightly more comfortable for you, he'd jump at the chance.

Most of the other ghost people thought Raul was either dead or one of them, so he wasn't all that concerned when you approached him. He's pleasantly surprised that there's anyone still conscious after all those years stuck in the Madre. Either way, he's mainly just happy he's finally found someone he can relate to. Look at you! Two pre-war mutations! He'll punch your shoulder light-heartedly, throw a few jokes your way, and follow you around as if you'd known each other for years. He's honestly just happy he's found someone who doesn't want him dead.

Lily thinks you're one of the cutest and most interesting things she's seen in a while - maybe even her entire life. You being a ghost seeker doesn't bother her any, in fact, she thinks the whole hazmat suit is quite nice looking. You don't see many of those lying around anymore, or anyone wearing them, for that matter. You're special, and she'll tell you that over and over until you start to believe it. She'll hold her hand out for you and guide you out of that awful place. You deserve to live somewhere nicer and, although it's a walk, she's certain Jacobstown will welcome you with open arms.

You'd be lucky if you were able to approach Cass and not have her immediately trying to gun you down. She can get a little trigger-happy, especially if she's at the Madre. However, if you did manage to get close to her and convince her to put the rifle down, you'll find that she still isn't all that fond of you. She doesn't care who you are or what you've been through, she wants you gone. You'll only attract more of the ghost people and she doesn't have enough bullets for all of you.

Veronica is slightly wary of you at first, but will quickly warm up to you with time. You'll have to forgive her, she's not used to having something like you not be hostile toward her. Once she does finally get used to your company, she'll be her regular chatty and curious self. She finds your condition strange and will dig as much information as she can out of you. You're definitely a wonder and, if she were certain it wouldn't get you killed, she'd show you off to everyone else at Hidden Valley. But, alas, the two of you will have to make do with what you have for the time being.

Christine feels a strange sort of connection to you. You've both been victims of awful experimentations, and her knowledge from spending so much time in Big MT has made it so she's aware of exactly what you are. She'll do her best to communicate what she knows to you, feeling that you should be cognizant of why you're stuck in the hazmat suit rather than ignorant. She'll stick by your side for as long as you do hers. You need each other, and she wouldn't let anything happen to you while you're both stuck in the Villa.

Dean will exploit you the moment he can get ahold of you. You're going to be the ace in any scheme he cooks up. The other ghost people don't bother you any, meaning you're his ideal for cracking the code to the vault within the casino. He's not letting you go anytime soon, at least not until he can get his hands on those gold bars. Whether he has to threaten you, pay you off, or restrain you completely; you're going to get him inside those gates.

Dog doesn't quite understand the concept very well and will try to eat you continuously. He'll squint in recognition whenever you talk or move, as he's aware only a sentient person is capable of that, but his gluttonous side can't help but attack you anyway.

God may be a violent and wrathful being, but there's something about you that makes him feel soft. He sees the two of you as being a lot alike; both monsters chained to this place of unrest. He feels sorry for you. He wouldn't harm you in any way, taking on a sort of brotherly attitude towards you, especially when it comes to your safety and well-being. You're about the only person who doesn't make him want to shoot himself, and when he locks himself away, you're about the only person he wouldn't mind having to sit there and talk to him through the bars.

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atinystraynstay · 5 months

Text

For You, I'd Do Anything - Yang Jeongin

Synopsis: The holidays can be a tough time for anyone. Growing up, it was your favorite time of year. As an adult though, it was what you dreaded the most. Jeongin couldn't stand by to see his partner upset over the holidays, so he decided to take matters into his own hands, to show you that the holidays with him could be fun.

Pairing: Idol! Yang Jeongin x reader

Genre: fluff, established relationship

Word Count: 2.3k

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Growing up, you used to love the winter holidays. You were the type of person that loved decorating for Christmas the day after Halloween. You looked forward to all the Christmas specials and movies that would be broadcasted on TV. Every time you were driving in your car from November 1st until December 26th, you had Christmas music playing. It was just the time of year that wrapped you up with warmth and joy.

Now, being in yours 20s, things have shifted. You no longer looked forward to decorating, always feeling the need to do it out of an obligation rather than a joy. You didn't really care for what was showing on TV, maybe watching one movie for the whole season if there was nothing else on. And don't even get started on the music. You couldn't take listening to the old songs sung by Bing Crosby or Dean Martin.

As friends move away and family spreads out, you find yourself getting lonelier each year. This year was the worst of it all. You couldn't afford a plan home to visit your family, so you had to stick it out at home. Your family wasn't in a position where they could fly out to you either, seeing as both of your parents worked and your siblings were only in college.

Part of you was hoping this year might be a bit different. You and Jeongin had gotten together in February of this year, shortly after your birthday. You were childhood friends with Seungmin who actually set you two up. Since then, you've been joined at the hip.

You were two lonely souls around Valentine’s Day. Seungmin couldn’t stand the sight of his younger brother feeling unwanted. To him, Jeongin was his partner in crime. He deserved the best the world had to offer. He was tired of you complaining about bad first dates and venting to him about your love life. Seungmin thought it would be a pretty good match. It would at least keep you quiet for a little bit while helping Jeongin out.

Jeongin was the perfect guy for you. He was a good listener and someone you felt safe around. You didn’t feel the need to put up a false persona to win him over. He never judged you either for your likes and interests, unlike your other exes. If something made you happy, he was all in support of it.

And Jeongin was in love with you. This was not a two-sided love. You were witty, intelligent, compassionate - a golden person. It loved that you got along well with his members. You were able to have deep insightful conversations with Chris and Han. You could be just as loud as Lee Know and Changbin. You appreciated the arts which made talking to Hyunjin easy. Felix and you often baked together. And then there was you and Seungmin who acted like brother and sister, being able to support one another but then be at each other’s neck the next minute. He was convinced bickering was Seungmin’s love language.

When you were with Jeongin, you knew how to make him smile and let him be silly. You were also there to comfort him if he had a bad day at the recording studio or dance practice. You offered a safe haven where he didn’t have to be the well-rounded maknae. Jeongin had a tendency to put too much pressure on himself to be perfect, to land every dance movement or not. You helped remind him that he was good enough, to push through the bad moments to keep chasing his dream. He wasn't just an idol to you. In your mind, he was like any regular 20-something-year-old who was trying their best. He was able to just be Yang Jeongin.

He wanted to give you the world. You deserved that. You radiated so much positive energy that it affected everyone around you. He owed Seungmin his life for introducing you two.

However, Jeongin noticed a shift in you. He remembers one of the first things Seungmin told, or more so warned, is that you were the type of person who had to start decorating for the holidays right after Halloween. Jeongin still didn't know why Seungmin felt the need to warn him about that fact, as if that was meant to scare him off. If anything, your enthusiasm around the holidays also got him excited for seasons changing.

It was easy to get lost in what's going on when you're following back-to-back schedules. It just felt like the holidays always crept up on him. The only thing that seemed to remind him what time of year it was is when they have a Christmas inspired stage.

Yet, when Jeongin suggested making hot chocolate and watching Christmas movies, you immediately said no. He figured maybe you were too tired from work. Jeongin settled for your answer, at least figuring you’ll watch them later in the season.

When you rejected going to the winter carnival in the city, he was a bit concerned. It was last Saturday when he asked. He figured now was a great time as any to get into the holiday season. You both had the day off from work, so he saw it as not only a way to enjoy each other's company and make new memories but also to relax from work. You preferred to stay inside though.

Jeongin even thought you could try setting up a Christmas tree in the dorms as a way to get you and the members into the holiday season. While he wasn't sure where to get a Christmas tree in South Korea, he knew how much you enjoyed spending time with the members. He always thought you were part of the family that has been created since they were training together at JYP. Yet, you still said no.

The boys were currently at dance practice. While Lee Know stood up from with Hyunjin, Changbin, and Han to work through the choreography for 'MEGAVERSE,' Jeongin was sitting on the couch with his hands holding up his chin.

He was trying his best to think of what could be troubling you, what could be on your mind. He was under the assumption that the two of you shared everything, from material items to personal secrets. To an extent, Jeongin was still trying to get to know you, sure. But he liked to believe as your boyfriend, he could pick up when things were off with you. What weren't you telling him?

Seungmin seemed to notice how distant his young friend was looking. Since it wasn't his time to dance, he made his way across the room to Jeongin. The maknae didn't flinch much once Seungmin plopped himself onto the couch, which was all an effort to snap Jeongin out of his daze. When that didn't work, Seungmin knew he had his work cut out for him. "Okay, spill. What's going on?"

Jeongin sighed before looking at his older friend. "It's y/n."

"What? What are you talking about? You're not going to break up with them, are you?"

Wow, for someone who pokes fun at y/n, Seungmin was very protective of you. It just further emphasized you and Seungmin's relationship - best friends who acted more like siblings.

To calm Seungmin down, he shook his head before looking over at him. "No, not at all. They are my everything," Jeongin sighed. "I just feel like I'm not giving them enough."

Seungmin looked at his friends to continue, confused as well. Whenever Seungmin talked to you about your relationship with Jeongin, you were on cloud nine. You could talk for hours about how wonderful of a partner Jeongin his, your favorite qualities of him. It made Seungmin pleased to see you so happy.

"They have just been acting so distant lately. Like, I feel like I have pushed them away. I don't get it." "I'm glad you said something," Seungmin sighed.

Jeongin immediately picked his head up, looking over at his friend. His eyes were wide, like a deer caught in headlights.

"What do you mean? Do you know something? Did I do something?" "Jeongin, if you did something, y/n will make it known. I mean, I would know first given that I'm the best friend and you're only the boyfriend," Seungmin teased. "But you haven't done anything wrong. I just feel like there is something wrong with y/n. Has she mentioned when’s flying home?”

It was then both of the men realized what was wrong. Usually, you were the type to have your holiday plans situated a month in advance. You also would plan a small holiday party with all your friends before everyone leaves for home. Your family and friends meant the world to you. However, this year, it was radio silent.

Jeongin then got a bright idea. He turned towards Seungmin who playfully backed up, a bit taken back from the eagerness of the maknae but also pleased that your boyfriend was ready to set up and make things right."

"So here's the plan."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Where are we going, Jeongin?" You laughed. He had blindfolded your eyes when you got in the car. He was walking backwards with Han holding open the door for him. Jeongin squeezed both of your hands reassuringly, walking backwards to guide you into a room.

"Now if I told you, it would ruin the surprise." "I hate surprises, but you're lucky you're cute," you muttered.

It took everything in Seungmin and Changbin, especially, to not let out a laugh. They couldn't give away the surprise. Not when they saw how excited Jeongin was to surprise you and make you feel better. Even before you and their beloved maknae started dating, they knew how much you meant to Seungmin. They all looked at you like a little sister. Their love for you has honestly intensified since the love between you and Jeongin grew.

"And I'm lucky because I have you," Jeongin responded.

This time Seungmin wanted to gag.

Jeongin glanced behind him to see all the boys in their places. Each of the boys gave them a thumbs up from their positions in the space, with Lee Know by the lights switch.

When he was satisfied, he slowly stepped behind you. He leaned around to kiss your cheek gently as his hands reached back to undo the knot that held the blindfold close to your eyes. You truly were one that hated surprises. If the blindfold was even the slightest bit loose, you would be trying to peek.

"Look, I know if you hate this, but I just want to see my girl smile again," Jeongin stated.

The blindfold was loosened from around your eyes, revealing that you were in the infamous red-painted JYP dance practice room. . It didn't look like the practice room.

There were Christmas lights strung around the mirrors. The lights were emphasized once Lee Know turned off the practice room's lights. A large projection screen was set up, thanks to Chan's assistance, opposite of the black couches. It was connected to a laptop with every major streaming service available. There were two extra beanbag chairs for those that preferred to sit on the floor. In the corner of the room, there was a large Christmas tree that was decorated. You could tell that was Hyunjin's assigned task. If you turned slightly too, you noticed there was a table full of baked goods that made the whole room smell like cinnamon and sugar. Definitely Felix's doing. You noticed there were 9 cups with candy canes sticking out of it. Maybe they got Changbin to do that one?

Regardless of who was assigned to each task, you knew there was only one person responsible - Jeongin. You turned towards him with tears in your eyes, but not the sad ones. The smile on your face gave away your joy.

"You did all of this for me?" "Anything for you," he affirmed.

You turned fully towards Jeongin before you wrapped you arms around him. You buried your face into his shoulder, both as a place to soak in your tears and your favorite spot to nuzzle up to him. He matched the strength of your hold, holding you close to him. He kissed the top of your hand, hand caressing your back affectionately. The rest of the members watched with fondness at the love between the two of you. Seungmin being the happiest of them all.

"You're apart of our family, y/n. I know it isn't the same as being with your family, but you can always depend on us," Jeongin whispered. "I love you so much."

You pulled your head gently back to look up at Jeongin. He smiled gently seeing your face. Keeping one arm around you, he used his free hand to wipe away your tears. "I'm in love with you too, baby," you whispered. You then looked at the guys surrounding the two of you. You could have sworn that they were crying too, but they wouldn't confess with the lights being dim. "And I love you guys too."

Shortly after, the nine of you gathered on the couches with Seungmin and Lee Know opting for the beanbag chairs. Changbin was getting hot chocolate together for the group while you cuddled up to your boyfriend. Most of them were paying attention to Elf playing on the projector. Jeongin held you close, as if he was trying to squeeze out any remaining sadness that might still be in your body.

But truth be told, you weren't sad anymore. If anything, you were over the moon that not only you have the best partner anyone could ask for, but that he opened his world to you.

To be with your family for Christmas was all you asked for, and it was the best present you could have received.

#atinystraynstay #yang jeongin #yang jeongin x reader #i.n x reader #yang jeongin x y/n #skz #skz x reader #i.n stray kids #i.n #skz imagines #skz fluff #stray kids #i.n skz #jeongin #skz stay #skz rockstar #skzflix #skz scenarios #stray kids imagine

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castieldelamancha · 7 months

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It's always the smallest gestures, the tender ones, that only have offering comfort as the only motivation behind them.

"No one has ever done that for me before."

It's late, the show they were watching plays forgotten on the tv, neither of them paying it any mind lost as they both are in a conversation that has nothing to do with it, even if it started because of something that happened on the screen. Dean lies on the couch, his legs stretched out and resting across Castiel's lap. Castiel has turned slightly to the right in order to be able to look at Dean as they speak and, without him even consciously deciding to do so, his hands have decided to busy themselves rubbing Dean's feet.

Castiel redoubles his efforts after the soft and quiet confession, listening to Dean's sighs and groans and repeating each movement his hands make to get more of those sounds, smiling softly at the way Dean goes boneless against the couch.

He always says the same thing. Castiel holds his hand, kisses his knuckles, no one has ever done that for me before, like he can't quite believe he deserves such gentleness. Castiel shampoos his hair, lightly guides him to tilt his head back so he can rinse the foam out, no one has ever done that for me before, and Castiel would never take for granted the gift such vulnerability is. Castiel cradles him close, just for the sake of it, arms and heart wide open, always a place for Dean to seek refuge, no one has ever done that for me before, because the majority of the hands that have touched him had been trying to hurt him, and Castiel would never allow himself to pretend his own haven't done that too, so every touch is a wordless apology, one that takes away the memory of the pain caused and only leaves behind all the love he feels, bigger than life, and that he can put into words.

"You deserve it, all of it."

That's what Castiel always replies. And to his awe, Dean seems to believe him, more and more with each passing day.

" feels nice." Dean's slurred words bring him back to the moment and Castiel's grin widens, and pride is a sin, but he doesn't care about that anymore, and that's all he feels at the idea of being able to take care of Dean like this. One of his hands moves away from Dean's feet, he pats his knee lightly.

"You deserve it, all of it."

#destiel #ficlet #vanessa writes ✨#¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

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lavenderdreams205 · 8 days

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spn thoughts as requested

tw & spoiler warning

they should have kept the grungy filter and aesthetics from the early seasons

bring back the southern / midwest gothic vibes

dean would've listened to and loved 90's & 2000s grunge - I know that the whole "there's no good music past '79" is a key part of his personality but pre series/early seasons dean is soo nirvana / Weezer / smashing pumpkins coded

there is too much flannel in the later seasons - I miss the carhartt and leather jackets so bad

BRING BACK DEANS JEWELRY

there's so much about cas that we don't know. there's all the episodes where he just isn't there and they never tell the viewers what he's doing or where he went

on the same note, cas's personality isn't nearly as flushed out as sam's or dean's are. who is his favorite musician? what's his favorite place to travel to? why does he like the pimpmobile so much? does he actually like the trench coat or does he wear it just because it's there?

so many people characterize cas as a little guy, and while he is cute, it's important to remember that he's also an incredibly powerful eldritch horror who leads angelic armies and brands Michaels vessel just because

dean is bisexual and in love with cas - I won't take the time to list all of the reasons here, but you can definitely find those reasons somewhere

i would've loved for them to use the handprint as a physical manifestation of their bond instead of having it be just a scar that fades with time

i'm actually really ok with the way cas dies, I think it makes sense for his character and provides closure (for him, at least, not for dean)

the parallels of cas and dean meeting in a barn and then dean dying in a barn

cassie is deans first love, cas is his last

the imagery of the empty as cas's wings in 15x18

why do the subtitles spell cas as cass, its awful

there's a few lines in the early seasons that seemingly reference dean getting roofied / sa'd and are subsequently played for laughs, Jensen Ackles confirmed that dean would've done underage sw when John didn't leave them with enough money. I believe that this trauma is a major reason that dean never accepted his sexuality

the way deans alcoholism is overlooked and joked about is actually insane

having dean be completely ok after 15x18 is also insane, especially after the widower arc where the show specifically shows it's viewers how deeply dean grieves cas when he dies

deans death is literally so stupid. I get that the show is trying to make a really meta point about the characters not having plot armor anymore because chuck is gone, but dean deserved to find peace. if the events of the show had never happened and pre series dean had never gotten pre series Sam back into hunting it would've ended the exact same way - dean dead on a hunt and Sam dying from old age

dean spends as much time on earth as he did in hell, and while he would never be the same, I like to believe that if he had been allowed by the narrative to live longer he would've gotten back a little of the twinkle in his eyes that he had before hell

in 15x20 Bobby says that cas helped rebuild heaven but if he was there he would've gone to see dean. additionally, there's no way cas should have been able to escape the empty. this is such a glaringly obvious plot hole and it drives me nuts

I would've liked to see cas's wings in the show - not just the shadow of them

the only time I tolerate serious discussion of wincest is in the context of ethel cain

i am a Sam disliker - while he does have many positive qualities, I have a really hard time getting past him not looking for dean when he was in purgatory and him joking about deans alcoholism and other traumas

i like Sam the best when he's with Eileen, I think they're adorable together and I'm mad they killed her off

I am a chronic jack defender, that boy has done nothing wrong

it would be interesting to explore cas and jacks relationships with their respective genders

there's no way being forced to murder the dean clones didn't affect cas, we only saw him kill the last one but the first few he had to kill had to have been devastating

i'm really disappointed by 14x13 Lebanon, we get the scene with John and Sam but I would argue that dean has significantly more reasons to be upset with John and it's unfortunate that the episode just glossed over this - I believe a screaming match between the two would have cleared the air a bit and been at the very least cathartic for dean

i'm fairly sure that it's canonical that John sent dean away on his 17th birthday to kill lesbian ghosts. my personal hc is that John suspected that dean was bi and sent him to teach him a lesson

i saw a post on here comparing hunting culture to biker and cowboy culture and viewing those things through a queer lens and I thought it was fascinating - there's so much spn could've done if it cared about the show more than money and losing viewers

every time cas and dean beat the shit out of each other, it serves as further proof of their relationship rather than discrediting their relationship - ie demon dean and cas fighting in the library is used to parallel Cain and Collette. it could even be assumed that their love is stronger because Cain killed Collette but dean left cas alive

The purgatory love triangle was so silly

once dean worked through all of his trauma and toxic masculinity he would've been a swiftie

all of the main characters have old / vintage cars but in like season 13/14 dean sam and cas just collectively own and use this really ugly silver truck from the 2010s. its such a small detail but it absolutely ruins my viewing experience every time I see it

dean is actually really smart but most of the fandom overlooks it because Sam is characterized as the smart one. if you know anything about cars you know it takes an insane amount of brains to build a car from scratch (he did this with baby multiple times throughout the show) also he just makes an emf meter using basically nothing. if dean had been given the same opportunities he gave Sam, he would've been an engineer or something

i will always be a John hater, if this man has 0 haters, I am dead

#spn #supernatural #dean winchester #castiel #sam winchester #destiel #ethel cain #grunge aesthetic

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hauntedpearl · 2 years

Text

afadshd I SAID I WON'T SAY ANYTHING BUT. hmm. okay. this is gonna bug me i need to get it out. i think we as a fandom just. forget some things about the show. the thing is, canonically, dean doesn't have an "Asian woman fetish" because the show does not acknowledge it as a thing that even deserves such terminology. every male character on the show is into that porn mag (remember that teenager sam bodyswapped with? proof enough i think if this random kid also had a copy of it. oh also! old vintage bab at the bunker 😐). it's essentially the only porn mag that's explicitly shown on screen on the show. like. THAT'S the issue. the problem is that the show normalizes fetishizing Asians to the point where the only form of East-Asian rep until, i guess, Kevin (??????like???god?????) is like. bab. sgfshsjd IT'S INGRAINED IN THE SHOW THAT BADLY. LIKE. IT'S FUCKED UP. like. essentially. the show is saying that if you're into women, you're into bab. which. hmm okay. i mean I'm not as offended as i probably should be when i sometimes come across it in fic bc i am a tired old asian woman and i filter it out for my personal enjoyment of things. (which. again. tired old person. im careful enough, but i just need white people to know that I am one extremely hardened and tolerant person who puts herself out there for conversations like this all the time and therefore is USED to it to the point of being able to shake it off pretty easily. but like. this is not the norm and IT SHOULD. NOT. BE)

(also engagement with fanfic and traditional media is like different for me but ig that's a whole other conversation. im so much more forgiving w fanfic.)

anyway. this is me just trying to tell you that bab is not an essential part of Dean's sexuality. it's not a personal thing for him, being fetishistic about Asians. Bab is the show being like that. it's the camera. ghostfacers effect or whatever. In a world where eric kripke is not one seriously messed up insane man, it would probably just be some skinmag with like. idk. naked cowgirls or whatever ykwim? like please don't think you're veering from canon when you remove it from your work/discussions/whatever. you're not. you're just ignoring it like you're ignoring other stupid stuff that the narrative normalizes for you.

also. i am not trying to coddle any white people, but i need you to understand that doing a racism ≠ being a racist. like i think a lot of you are afraid of owning up to racisms because you think you'll be branded a racist (in this case, a gun touting redneck who says slurs ig), and like. you need to divorce yourself from that kind of thinking my dudes. we all live in a white supremacist world (me, too, even in India so far away) we are ALL going to do some racisms some times. it's okay to acknowledge that and learn from it. like we are pigs in mud, some will get on you etc., the best you can do is like. see what went wrong. self-examine. reroute thinking to greener pastures.

OKAY STUPID LONG POST BUT YEAH

#i won't say anything about 4lw tho because i think it's more nuanced than that in case of that particular fic and it's like. okay whatever #like i kinda see what the author waa going for and im like ehhh okay whatever.#the thing is. im not terribly attached to it bc it was very smutty for me so like yeah it was cute but it's not Thee Fic or whatever for me #so im like SORRY BUT I DON'T CARE ABOUT HER IS THAT AWFUL 😭😂#but because all this discussion came up. i wanna talk about the overarching problem. which is not one fic or one person or one anything #it's the construct of the show and it's how you as a creator of fan content engage w it etc #don't @ me too much about this im TIRED AND STUPID #tw racism #long post

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dotster001 · 9 months

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HCs for Ace, Deuce, and Epel with a reader like Toa Qelsum from Court of Darkness? I just think the chaos that will ensue with another uptight mf would be fun to read about

CW:Mentions of raising a family in Epel's part

3k followers event Masterlist

Other Versions: Rio Voleri Reader Dia Akedia Reader Lance Ira Reader-coming soon

God, you're such a stick in the mud. A high achiever, smart, and a strict rule follower? Barf. He's so happy that you were busy doing your…teleportation trick or whatever when he was hiding at the entrance ceremony cause he knows you would have ratted him out. He has no doubt you would've been sorted into Heartslaybul…for all the "wrong" reasons.

That said…there's something intriguing about the look behind your eyes. A look that screams, "I want to have fun! But no one has ever let me!" And Ace decides he's going to save you. By being the one to break you.

The rest of in game events proceed as normal, cause Ace will always be Ace. He still is an ass, he still causes trouble, he still makes you his best friend, still drops cryptic lines like "who knew you'd be my type, kidding ha ha!"

Is there any world, any mc, any Y/N, where Ace wouldn't fall for you? Be honest.

It's a "when did we start dating? Who the fuck knows they never even asked me out" kind of thing.

He's trying to break you so hard man. He's the devil in your ear, whispering about how wouldn't it just be…so fun if you stole that last slice of strawberry tart that Riddle thought he'd safely hidden in the freezer. He brings out the absolute worst in you…but sometimes you bring out the best in him.

You're the honors student he's always wanted to be. You really get your connection when he asks you to start tutoring him. You're hard on him, but it only makes him strive to do better! He doesn't want to let his favorite teacher down!

Ace teases him for months about how he's such a simp for you, and gets all blushy anytime you tell him he did a good job. Deuce tells him to shut his fucking mouth every single time. Until one fateful day. The words are on the tip of his tongue, but they don't come forward. Instead, his mind is filled with thoughts of you, your big brain, your soft smile. He reflects on his best friend and favorite teacher. And then it's all over for poor Deuce.

Naturally he does the honors student thing. He avoids you. He's terrible at it, but he does his best. Until one day, you show up and berate him for neglecting his responsibilities, and your friendship. In the midst of it, he goes delinquent mode, and angrily confesses his love. At your shock, he apologizes and is sweet again. And how can you say no to sweet Deuce?

Deuce becomes much more of a snuggle bug when you're dating. You still tutor him, but now reward him with kisses when he gets answers right, and makeout and cuddle sessions when his grades improve.

Under your tutelage, he makes the dean's list. And ends school as an honors student, just as he dreamed. His mom couldn't love you any more.

You and Vil seem to have some sort of unspoken feud. Epel is living for it. Neither of you is ever outright hostile to the other, but the vibes…oof. It's like two very dominant personalities who should never have been left to try and work together. Epel is mad for you.

Lures you in with apple crumble 😉

Once you're hooked onto him through your sweet tooth, he is able to express his admiration for you. He also has a dominant personality. But for you, he's willing to chill out a little.

He's such an enabler. Oh sevens, anytime something about Vil pisses you off, he pushes you a step further. Sometimes, If Vil says something that hurts his pride a little bit, he'll stretch the truth, just to watch you go off on him. Sevens, he loves it. He can't help but feel so protected.

He takes you to visit his family with him…and is devastated when you're shocked by how kind and loving his family is. You deserve that love too! Meemaw unofficially adopts you as an extra grandkid, and makes sure that you get all the loving you have missed out on. Epel hopes you can trust him enough to have a family of your own one day, even if it is a small one.

#twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #3k followers #ace trapolla #ace trappola #ace trapolla x reader #ace x reader #deuce spade x reader #deuce spade #deuce x reader #epel x reader #epel felmier #epel felmier x reader #toa qelsum

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jenanigans1207 · 3 months

Text

“With Cas,” Sam presses on, but his voice has gone gentle, like he knows that he’s dangerously close to cracking every facade Dean has worked so hard to maintain for so many years. “You don’t have to do anything different. You don’t have to give anything up, you don’t have to change anything about yourself. He’s already seen what an asshole you are before coffee, and how goddamn messy you leave the bathroom,” That earns a surprised laugh out of Dean and he’s finally able to look up again. “Hell, Dean, the dude’s seen your literal soul. If he knows you that well and he’s stupid enough to stay by your side the way he has, that’s meant to be.”

Dean clears his throat, but it doesn’t do anything to make the lump that’s formed there go away. “Yeah, he’s pretty great.”

“He is.” Sam agrees. He pauses for a second, like he’s contemplating whether or not to say one more thing. Dean can see it in his gaze, the exact moment he decides to go for the kill. “And I can trust him to take care of you, you know? He’d do anything to protect you and keep you safe. He gave up the entire Heavenly Host for you, Dean.”

“For us,” Dean tries to correct, because if he doesn’t , he might actually lose the ability to speak completely.

“For you.” Sam corrects back. “I’m just part of your packaged deal. But if I hadn’t been here and it had been just you, he still would’ve done it.”

It’s not often that Dean allows himself to think of what Cas gave up— not because he doesn’t appreciate it or recognize the magnitude of it, but because it makes him feel completely and utterly inadequate. Because Cas gave up literally everything for him and he’s— he’s just some guy. For all that every God, Monster, and Demon seems to love the taste of his name on their tongue, he’s really not anything special. He’s just some guy who was too weak to sustain the never-ending torture of hell and instead gave in to the worst side of himself, turning himself into the kind of monster he would kill if he ever ran across it. He has trust issues, he has anger issues, he has— a whole hell of a lot more than that, to say the least. He’s not a good person, not an honest or honorable person.

He’s not the kind of person an Angel of the Lord should even look twice at, let alone the kind of person an Angel of the Lord should choose.

Cas could’ve had it all— every happiness heaven had to offer. He could’ve stayed in God’s good graces, in the good graces of the other angels. He could’ve had anything he wanted and instead he chose to sit in the backseat of the Impala, to watch over Dean and Sam while they sleep in every shitty motel the country has to offer. He chose to never eat a homecooked meal, to barely even have a place to call home. He chose what Dean would describe as the worst possible life and honestly? He doesn’t seem like he’s ever looked back.

And when Dean examines that too closely, he just feel like absolute shit. Because Cas deserves everything. He deserves every happiness he gave up, every opportunity he turned down. He deserves more than Dean can ever give him. And Dean often feels like a selfish asshole— dragging Sam back into the life because he didn’t want to be alone, selfishly trying to keep people close to him the they were better on their own— but he’s never felt like more of a selfish piece of shit than he does when he realizes that he’s glad Cas chose to stay down here with them— with him.

“Yeah, well,” Dean’s voice is rough, raw. He feels like he’s bleeding somewhere internally. “It wouldn’t be the right choice.”

“Choosing you is always the right choice, Dean.” Cas’ voice sounds from the doorway suddenly and both Dean and Sam whip their heads in that direction when they realize he’s there. “I understand that I have my work cut out for me in terms of making you realize that, but I will never regret choosing you.”

Dean clenches his jaw and looks away at the same time that Sam breaks out into a smile. It’s small, but it’s genuine and grateful, and Dean thinks that maybe he could just sock both of them in the face and this unbearably vulernable moment could finally pass.

“Cas,” Sam says after a second, “I’d say welcome to the family, but you’ve been part of the family for a long time already.”

God, every part of Dean aches. Everything inside of him feels like it’s bending and then snapping completely as Cas walks fully into the room and meets Sam for a hug, as they smile at each other. The two people who mean the most in the entire world to Dean, and they care about each other in a way Dean could only dream that they’d be able to. It’s absolutely unbearable, how happy he is. He’s so fucking happy that it hurts, a deep ache, a brittle and tender feeling. He doesn’t think his bones are strong enough to withstand it and he thinks that soon he may just fall apart completely.

“Your blessing still means a lot, Sam.” Cas is saying with a hand clapped on Sam’s shoulder. Neither of them are directly looking at Dean but he knows that they’re both paying attention to him anyway, their gazes fixed on him out of the corners of their eyes.

“Hey, I had no choice. I was stuck with him from birth. But he’s alright, all things considered.” Sam is joking and Dean thinks that maybe if he just starts screaming, it would do something to dull these emotions. “So if you’re dumb enough to choose him, well, I’m not going to say no to that.”

Cas shakes his head a little as he lets out a huff of a laugh. “I am.” Is all he says.

It’s such a simple answer, but it encompasses so much. It encompasses every fight they’ve had, every betrayal they’ve managed to pave over. It encompasses the taste of bad blood that stained the space between them so many times as much as it encompasses all the times Dean dropped to his knees and prayed— to Cas, to God, to whoever the hell would listen— begging for Cas’ safety, for his return, for the knowledge that he would always be there. It encompasses every time they’ve been the cause of each other’s wounds as much as it encompasses every time they’ve tenderly and carefully dressed the wounds caused by other people.

It’s only two words, but it says multitudes. Dean had done his part in confessing, in prying every last word out of the shadowed corners of his heart, even with the curse had lifted and the ability to lie has returned to him. And Cas had certainly returned the confession, though it seemed to physically pain him much less to do so. And despite that, hearing Cas claim him to Sam like that, openly and easily acknowledging everything they’ve done through with words that are meant to be a promise for the future— well, Dean really thinks he might be at the limit of all he can bear.

“But make sure you take care of him, alright?” Sam adds, more somber. Even though he’d already expressed his knowledge that Cas would, unfailingly. Even though Cad had, over and over again. But there’s something in the brotherly codebook that demands Sam verbalize it anyway. Dean knows because he would’ve done the same thing.

“I mean,” Cas pulls his expression back into something serious, too. One of his angel faces that gives away very little emotion. “Your brother is reckless, and self-sacrificing. He’s stubborn, too, and almost never listens to reason.”

“Alright, alright—“ Dean tries to interject.

But Cas keeps going, the corner of his lip quirked up, giving away his amusement and sarcasm while Sam laughs openly. “He shoots first and sometimes asks questions later, and I honestly am not yet certain if he knows what a vegetable is.” And then Cas turns his eyes to Dean and the other half of his mouth turns up, too, so he’s actually smiling, and his voice is much softer when he adds, “but I promise to try my best.”

Dean meets his gaze like he has so many times in the past, but it’s completely different now. He’s much better at reading and understanding the emotions in Cas’s eyes, in the lines of his expression. But he also doesn’t have to turn away as the warmth blooms on his chest. He’s allowed to feel that now, to embrace it— if he ever figures out how.

“You’ve got good points.” Sam claps Cas on the shoulder, back to full-blown amusement. “I should probably be wishing you good luck with him instead.”

Cas nods solemnly, “I will need it.”

#I will not explain myself #we will all just not acknowledge me writing destiel in the year of our lord 2024 #but this is for near the end of the fic I’m writing #and we all know I can’t keep shit to myself #so #surprise?#deancas #destiel #supernatural #spn

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myloversgone · 1 year

Text

Comfort

Pairings: Dean Winchester X You

Rating: Mature. Mentions of sex. Language.

Warnings: None that I can think of.

Summary: When Dean is away, Y/N has vivid dreams about him.

A/N: Hi! I’m alive! I’m also in the middle of my final exams, I have a shitload of term papers to finish and research to do, but I had a dream last night that I couldn’t ignore. Oh, and I’m also hormonal. I wrote this on my phone in like two hours, so forgive me if it’s too shitty and enjoy!

My Masterlist

Last night, I dreamt about him. It was such a vivid dream. I could feel his skin, warm and soft against my cold one, the short hairs on the nape of his neck pricking my fingertips, the weight of his body between my legs.

I was also seeing us from above, if that makes sense. Sounds creepy, I know, but I guess that’s how dreams work. I could see every muscle of his smooth back moving under the skin as he thrusted into me. My arm was wrapped around his shoulders, as well as my legs around his waist.

I couldn't exactly see my own face since the room was mostly dark, only the streetlights through the window casted shadows on our joined bodies. But, for a minute as we moved together, I saw my expression contorted with pleasure, eyes closed and mouth open. I was feeling myself tightening around him. We were reaching our peaks.

"Open your eyes, baby", Dean told me, and I felt his hot breath on my face.

"Let me see you", he whispered right after, trying not to interrupt the silence of the night or the connection we were sharing.

I felt a knot in my throat. I wanted to cry of emotion and pleasure. I love him so fucking much it hurts sometimes. It hurts that I can't have him with me all the time, that I can't stop him from suffering, that I can't end everything that's evil in this world so he can finally be at peace.

So, I do as he says, I open my wet eyes, hoping the tears won't make him stop. I'm emotional because I feel happy I can provide him with moments of happiness and pleasure. He gives me so much, we’ve come a long way since we've met.

I can never forget the day he came to my door, years ago, when shit was about to get really ugly. We knew each other for a long time by then, and Dean always had a hard time talking about feelings.

"When I picture myself happy, is with you", he declared that day, and I could barely believe that those words were coming out of Dean Winchester's mouth. By then, he'd never told me something like that. He would show his feelings for me through gestures, touches. He would bring me food or pick me up at work, things like that.

One night, on my birthday, I got stuck working overtime, and when I got home, he was waiting for me with dinner he cooked by himself. The sex that night was amazing. It always is with him, but that was the first time I felt like we were making love. It was like one more step into our relationship.

So, a few weeks later, when he came to see me another time, I told him that I loved him. I had put a lot of thought into that, because I knew it could scare him away, but I felt it was worth the shot. I also knew he probably didn't have many people telling that to him before, and I think he needed to know he deserves to be loved for the man he is. I told him in the morning, after breakfast, when we were making out in the kitchen. His hands were already under my dress, and the words just spilled out of my mouth.

To my surprise, he looked shocked for a few seconds, but then he smiled, not only with his mouth but also with his beautiful green eyes.

"I love you too", Dean replied, and I knew he was only able to say it back because he trusted me. I hope I’m always worthy of his trust and love.

Since then, we say we love each other every time we feel like saying it. Over the phone, in texts, in person, while we're eating together. All the time.

To be honest, I fear for our future. Maybe I'm being silly, but I know we're meant to be together. I feel that every time he comes home to me. I tell him my home is his home too, but he says he can't stay. Sometimes he’s here for a week or two, but then a case comes up and he needs to leave. After Sam got back from Hell, 15 days is the longer he stays. He comes visit all the time, though, whenever he can. I've been to the bunker a few times, but I have a regular job, so I can't stay away for long.

Anyways, I cannot ask him to stop hunting and live a normal life with me, because I know he would never do that. And I don't want to lose him. I'm fine with what we have, but I wish I could take the weight off his shoulders.

I wish I could keep Dean safe. I can't, though, and it makes me cry every time he leaves.

That’s why when he's not here, I dream about him. Like last night. It's been 13 days since the last time we were together and, even though we talk every day, I miss his physical presence. Not only because he's impossibly handsome, and tall and overall perfect, and the most amazing lover, but also because he's so... comforting. Dean fills up a room, he brings me so much light, he makes my heart feel lighter. That's why I always miss him so much.

When I woke up this morning, feeling sad, frustrated, and horny, let's be honest, and I remembered that vivid dream, I immediately texted him.

Y/N: I miss you so much. I had a dream about u.

His answer was almost immediate, thankfully.

D: Hey, darlin'. I hope it was a good and naughty dream. I was just thinking 'bout u.

Y/N: It was kinda naughty, yeah :) it's been so long. How are u doing?

D: Wow, can't wait to hear everything about it, baby. I'm good. I'm actually on my way to u. We solved a case kinda close, so I'm heading there. Sammy's driving, don't worry. I'll be there in like two hours.

Y/N: Can't wait to see u! I'm gonna wait for u guys with lunch. Love you <3

D: I love you too. See u in a bit ;-*

We had lunch and Sam left a few minutes ago, and we're already all over each other. Dean's on top of me, between my legs on the couch, and the feeling is the exact same as it was in my dream. Even his smell is the same.

He's shirtless and I'm running my hands all over his broad shoulders while he’s kissing my neck and chest.

"So, when are you telling me about that dream of yours, huh?", he asks, interrupting my thoughts.

I laugh at his timing. "We're about to make it become true, De", I answer, planning on making the most of our time together.

Until he leaves and I dream about him again.

------------------------------------------------------------------

TAGLIST: @sexyvixen7; @candy-coated-misery0731; @dean-winchester-lover99; @thoughts-and-funnies; @avanatural; @dean-winchester-is-a-warrior; @eevvvaa; @spn-fanfic-reblog-writes; @djs8891; @akshi8278

#dean x reader #dean x you #dean x y/n #dean winchester x reader #dean winchester fanfic

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lizaawinchester · 3 months

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promise me, you wont decide for me

Title: you need to promise me

Word count: 1442

Description: After living with the boys for years and having a non official relationship with dean you finally decide to bring it up. His need to protect you has always stopped you from titling what it was you had together but after an easy hunt just you two and Miracle in your hometown the nostalgia reminds you of how much you want to be able to make your love for him public. but first he has to promise never to push you away just because he thinks you're better off without him (Post Chuck; (dean never died in my head)

tw- none

You were tired of leaving his bed after an amazing couple of hours together, sometimes only talking and watching movies, sometimes steamy sex only to sleep in a cold bed alone 2 rooms down. In a tired haze you wondered what he was thinking as you both fell asleep sharing an old creaky bed with the awful tv playing a random movie.

There were never any set rules with your arrangement but you never really talked about it. Just living together with Sam in the bunker meant that you had practically already been a couple. Everyone knew the feelings were mutual but it was never discussed. Small I love you’s were said occasionally and you two would cuddle up in private. Sharing your favorite movies and talking about everything from your wildly different childhoods to your worst memories. Eventually you started hooking up and that lead to where you were now. Alone together in your home state in nostalgic town for you. This area was memorable for you as a kid and when you saw that there was likely a Vamps nest nearby you had to come and get rid of it. After finishing late at night you and Dean decided to just keep the room an extra night to let Sam and Eileen have the bunker to themselves for one more day. You had come here with your family and made your best in this little town before your parents were possessed and killed by angels. Even in the freezing cold of February you remembered the good parts of having a somewhat normal childhood here and getting into hunting later in life, unlike the Winchester brothers.

That night you asked Dean if he was open to the idea of making it official, being back home made you remember the love you had always wished for and practically already had but were too afraid to admit. In his half asleep voice he admitted "I wish you were mine from the second I wake up to the second I fall asleep." before falling asleep with you in his arms. Slowly, knowing that his tired self was not up for much of a conversation you fell asleep too, thinking of how to possibly bring this up again on the long drive home tomorrow.

The next morning.

Taking miracle out to run around before your long drive back to the bunker you decided to get it out of the way hoping he even remembered the conversation from his half-asleep state

Staring at the rocky pathway you practically whispered, “So about what you said last night, did you really mean that”

D “of course." he said surprised you would even ask. "I mean I am ok with this sort of together but not really officially thing, but I mean it when I say I love you and I would rather have you officially be mine than be friends who have and are aware of their feelings”

“If were going to do this you need to promise me something.”

“Ok… “

“I make my own decisions for myself. I know what is best for me and you cant try and decide that”

“ok… I know that you can make your own choices. Where are you going with this”

“I need to know that one day when you are feeling shitty or when I am pissed off by something you’re not going to tell me to leave. If you ever tell me to go because you are bad for me, I will not come back”

“wait so you want me to promise that I will never end it, because I never plan on telling you to leave.”

“No. I am saying that you can never, I mean ever, try to tell me that I am better off without you or I deserve better than you. I deserve what I want and someone who loves me enough to see that. With jack in charge we control our own lives and that includes me too. I know you don’t see yourself the way that I do but I know that there is no one out there better for me.”

“Y/n.. ”

“No let me finish. If I thought you would do anything that would hurt me, I would not be here, living with you and sam. You are the kindest and most loving person I know. You let me sleep in your bed after having a panic attack and you make me feel safe. You are definitely the best sex I have I ever had plus you let me take all of the covers and because you know I get cold at night. You are the best person I could ever find for me and If I thought that you were not what was best for me I would leave on my own.”

“what if I am not what is best for you”

“then we should not be together at all. But that’s just it you are.

You stopped your walk grabbing his arm to turn him to look at you. “I need you to see that I want you and all of you. The good and the bad because if you want to be with me you have to love all of me the good and the bad.”

“I don’t think there is any bad”

“Then youre lying to yourself… or you don’t really know me” He practically glared at you as you said it.

“ Cmon you cant say that. I know you better than anyone, even sam. And I do love you, all of you”

“ok then if you love me you cannot wake up one day and decide that you think I deserve ‘better’ or deserve more. I don’t want to have ‘normal life’, especially not if it means I can’t have you. Living like this sucks sometimes but so does every life and I don’t want to leave the bad parts because it would mean leaving all of the good parts too.”

“ok I think I get what you mean. You’re really mean when you’re hungry but I wouldn’t change it because when I start making burgers you come up and hug me from behind”

A small laugh fell as you smiled up to him. Picking up the tennis ball Miracle dropped at your feet. You turned to throw it before looking back at him and said,

“So I need you to promise me that you will not make that choice FOR ME. You will not try to tell me that you are bad for me or I should leave because you think I would be better off. I would have asked months ago but you always try to protect me from everything and I will not lose you because one day you decide you need to protect me from you.”

You looked at each other for a long second as the wind blew by your face. Your ears stung as the sharp air got under your hair and you shrugged your shoulders for the large coat to cover you.

“if you are ever going to end it, it will be because you want to, not because you are trying to protect me from something”

He looked down to you, and you squinted up blocking the sun coming from behind his head. He wrapped his arms around your waist pulling you in to his warmth, blocking out the wind for a moment of relief to the cold. You looked up and locked eyes as you held your arms to your chest protectively, unsure what he would say next.

“I promise you that I will never try to end this for your benefit. I will let you decide what is best for you. But I cannot promise that I will not protect you because hat I will always do.”

He pulled you in closer moving his arms up your back to pull your head into his chest and kiss the top of your head. Staying comfortably there for a second as you both lightly swayed with his heart beat. Letting go only when Miracle jumped on his knee and released you back to the cold to lean down and throw the ball to the water. Grabbing your hand walking along back to baby.

“I mean if you get tired of me or my hunger mood swings and that’s why you want me gone, I would understand”

“ok so I can break up with you, but only if you really piss me off.” Dean said sarcastically as he turned to meet your eyes already looking to him

“yeah and If you tell me to leave because you have decided its what its ‘best for me’” you said using your one hand for air quotes, “then I will chop off your head with a machete. I’ve beheaded plenty of monsters, you know I can do it”

He smiled, laughing at your dark humor before switching from holding your hand to wrapping an arm around your shoulders “ok I promise I won’t tell you what’s best for you”

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