#and I feel so bad ??

[not-poignant]

I didn't understand how it was possible to be doing so much work, and I'm glad you're finally taking a break ❤️

To be fair, I am lucky that I type very fast! I've had an awful lot of practice writing and so I'm faster at it than someone who is starting out or even someone who is 5 years into a writing career.

That being said, I have no idea how I was doing so much work as well. Prior to 2023 it was normal for me to only be working on 2-3 stories at a time (with around 5-8 chapters a week max, and my main story updated only once every 2 weeks). Not the amount I'm doing now. Things exploded with Underline the Black and my lack of impulse control (as well as the appeal of offering side stories) meant I started up two more stories alongside it. Then calm Palmarosa and Constellations and suddenly I had a lot on my plate that I felt like I had to be regularly committed to.

I was pretty burnt out prior to getting Toby (our puppy), so on that side of things, I was a little too ambitious in thinking I'd be able to juggle everything.

I have known that like, once certain side stories finish, my schedule quietens down and I think what I've been hoping for is like 'just hold out until this finishes, and then this finishes, and then this finishes. Just hold out.' But my stories take some time to complete, and 'just holding out' means sometimes waiting 1-2 years.

So yeah instead of doing that I'm going to try something sooner. I was doing the week break from Underline the Black in 2024 but it just hasn't been enough.

So like, I am very lucky I type fast! When I'm comfortable, I'll always be prolific to the point that at least some people will be like 'I don't know how you do that' - a lot of that is just experience. My typing speed is around 120-140 words per minute and I can comfortably finish a 3,000 word chapter in about 2 hours (with room to think / imagine what is coming next etc. and pausing to reread sections for clarity). Sometimes faster. Sometimes slower if the chapter is challenging. On very good days, I can write 2 chapters in a day. The last time I had a day like that was March 11th.

Editing takes me a lot longer though, and weirdly so do things like the Birthday Spotlights. I think I really underestimated how much time each one would take to do in terms of the graphics + hyperlinks + finding quotes etc.

I'm still going to be writing here and there over the next two months. But even just an update/posting hiatus and a slow down will help an indescribably amount. The reality is I haven't actually done very much at all this April and I still feel very overwhelmed (even more so because I knew I was running down my buffer of chapters for May/June), so taking the next step, and hope that's enough!

The good news is I've taken hiatuses before and I've always come back afterwards raring to go, and I'm hoping that's the case now too. :)

#asks and answers #personal #pia on writing #i just stepped on my puppy's back paw by accident #he was behind me and i didn't see him and he yelped #and i feel so bad #we'd just done some really good training sdlfkjas and i'd told him to wait on the mat #and he slipped in behind me lol #anyway i'm like 'i write fast!' 'but also actually yeah anon this is completely insane' #part of me is like 'if you were superhuman you could smash UtB behind the scenes #but i am not superhuman #i did plot it out though and i know it's finishing around chapter 135

[beckiboos]

Took Taliesin to the peace council and Jesus Christ he's SWEATING he looks SICK, his face is DISTRAUGHT. Tally I am so sorry maybe I should have left you outside instead of parading you in front of your old boss. My bad

#skyrim #taliesin #although i am so going to use this for drama in an episode #but how on earth is she NOT going to call him by his real name? #I’d feel less bad if I did made him sweaty and pull that face on purpose #but the fact he’s done it on his own seems like I’m giving him a panic attack #and I feel so bad

[niallermybabe]

It’s always Larry and Ziam in the fandom and…sometimes I just feel like my poor Nialler is left out all alone…?

#one direction #ziam #larry #niall horan #Sometimes I just think of him fifth wheeling #And I feel so bad #like #i wish he had someone too..? #But yk #that’s 5 ppl #Someone’s ought to be left out..?

[sorivii]

Got pressured to eat frog legs today… short story shorter-

I’m not a fan

#AND I FEEL SO BAD #They’re so tiny and cute- *sobs* #I had to keep it down to be polite #*shudders* #it kinda tastes like chicken tho… #ngl #but the consistency was… off #SivRambles #artists on tumblr #rant #vent #silly #be posting #frog legs #food

[iknowwhereyousleepatnight]

Do you have a least favorite animal?

idk. i love all animals. well. except for fleas and ticks. sorry fleas and ticks but i cannot stand you and your blatant disregard for the precautions we install to keep you away. the amount of money spent trying to get rid of them is ridiculous. i wouldn't mind them if they didn't come and infest my pets and my home every year. and they bite and it sucks

#ask #literally no other bug bothers me as much as them #even ones that sting/bite idc they are nice #fleas have done horrendous damage to our pets and our stuff #some of our cats have baldspots from where they try to get rid of them #and i feel so bad #but like. #we have like.5 flea traps. we have a spray that kills fleas. we have spent so much money to get most of our pets flea collars and guess wha #we still have fleas #i hope they die off in the winter because i hate them. they're not as bad rn as the spring/summer #and ticks are so annoying they low-key freak me out and i'm usually very chill w bugs. like. i'll hold wasps sometimes #but ticks ahdadalkjdkhaj i fucking hate them #fleas are the most annoying and bothersome but ticks like. disgust me i cannot be around them they make me want to throw up

[kibblz-n-bitz]

I'm going to write luffy going into a rut caused by his devil fruit because I want to

#It's not omegaverse tho #lord knows i'm not experienced enough to write omegaverse😭 #But I just wanna write needy luffy #i haven't written in a while #AND I FEEL SO BAD #but im back #kibbles bits

[lvlystars]

guys, yk what's so funny? my sister got me the semicolon album as a birthday present, and i pulled vernon and mingyu. my friend posts a note on insta saying that she got the best gift. you wanna know what she got?

fucking semicolon.

guess who i pulled?

vernon and mingyu. the exact same pcs, the exact same content. like....how did this happen? are all albums the same from the store?

#🦋 — brain go brrr #no bcus #this bummed me out #bcus not only do i have two of the same album #but its the exact same pulls #which basically wasted money #on me #and i feel so bad

[zstarstruck]

cookie run oc x canon is so awesome but i will be honest sometimes people will accidentally make a character who looks less like they're dating the other and more like they are siblings first cousins and it is a little bit awkward. like i love your oc x canon but.. maybe. shift the colors just a tiny bit..

#cookie run #oc x canon #oc x canon is awesome! really! but like #sometimes i have to do a double take #and i feel so bad

[gaylactic-fire]

To everyone in my A03 inbox who never got a reply from me. I SEE YOU I'm SO FUCKING SORRY I forgot to respond I'm TOO EMBARRASSED to respond 127 days later. But I love you so much you didn't have to comment but you did and that's so 🥺😭😭❤️

#fires posts #ramblings #I have a terrible habit of when Number Gets Big my brain is like ''nah'' #AND I FEEL SO BAD #but just know like... I see you guys... I swear I'm not ignoring u

[sunflower-live]

Okay trying to make these on a regular basis again!!

1 - We Live Through Scars This Time | @louiesunshine | 78,239 (reread)

At 21, Louis Tomlinson has had a heavy heart for the majority of his life. The constant wonder of his childhood best friend that ended up being kidnapped and missing twelve years ago consumed everything within him. His life is turned upside down when Harry reappears, mentally and physically damaged yet still the same little boy he loved with all his heart.

At 19, Harry Styles has been in escape mode for the majority of his life. The constant wonder of why out of all the children of the world that he could have been chosen to be taken consumed everything within him. His life is turned upside down when he manages to finally escape his worst nightmare after twelve years. He returns home to his family a different person, and is reacquainted with his childhood best friend.

2 - Derail the Mind of Me | @pleasing-louis | 77,323

The Behavioral Analysis Unit gets called in to help a small town police department find the killer leaving behind a string of victims with a particularly jarring signature. FBI profiler Harry Styles must work with his team to uncover the unsub responsible for a slew of gruesome murders and just might discover his own hidden feelings for BAU Technical Analyst Louis Tomlinson along the way.

3 - too much, but it’s enough | @ohpleaselarry | 40,000

There are about a thousand things Louis wishes he could go back in time and fix. A thousand things, and nearly all of them include Harry.

There are the more simple things, like showing him more support, telling him it’s okay to be himself, gently reminding him that a condom in his pocket is rather obvious in skinny jeans, but if he could just choose one thing, just one to change, he’d probably just have told the lad he loves him.

Always has. And always will.

4 - Runway | reader_chic_2 | 34,481

When Eleanor drags Louis to a fashion show, he is floored when he sees ex-bandmate Harry Styles working the runway. Speaking to him for the first time in two years begins a cascade of healing and growth they'd both been too stubborn to say before.

5 - Autumn Leaves Shower Like Rainbows | loudloudlove | 29,166

Harry is an anonymous blogger, filling page after page about his unrequited love for a customer at the coffee shop he works in. Louis is an up and coming musician and the object of Harry's affections. They swap pleasantries but nothing more.

Until one day Louis comes into the café, soaking wet and seeking solace. When Harry hears the lyrics, he realises that Louis has been reading his blog the entire time without knowing it's all about him.

#okay I made this while at work #a nice sweet little old lady who barely speaks English just came in and got a decaf latte #and her hand slipped and she accidentally tipped $4 #and I feel so bad #but she didn’t say anything? #okay anyways #here it is #weekly fic rec #weekly rec #larry fic rec #fic rec #mine

[theflikchic]

Person: This character in BOTW calls themselves a woman, everyone else calls them a man, and you can choose to call them a man and it's meant to be funny and if you should be disgusted by it.

Me who thought that the whole point was that this character was just really bad at pretending to be a woman as a ploy to get into the city because the game was setting that up so I played into that: *extreme anxiety guilt intensifies*

#i literally #i thought that was the joke #i did not think at all #that the character may have been trans at all #and i feel so bad #i thought the whole point was the guy saying #no im a woman WINK WINK #but like #now im seeing the big issues #gosh i feel bad #botw #legend of zelda #im sorry

[simplydm]

dm are you a big fic reader?? i don't actually know if authors read a lot do fanfiction so i'm curious. if y are by chance what are some tropes u like or some fics u have rly enjoyed :D

also i hope ur having a lovely day dm,, lots of nice food and pleasant weather :]

God honestly I’m not, which I’m like ashamed to say. I do really like kind of person-to-person stuff, where there are a ton of details and like personal touches to the fic. Idk why but I have to be in the mood to read fics, and that mood doesn’t come around a lot. There was one xB-centric fic I adored but I can’t remember the name of it now.

#there are so many I want to read #and I feel so bad #bc I literally am a fic writer #but idk yk #also thank you wiggles:) #it rained on me all day #rip #dm’s dms

[skrunksthatwunk]

see 0 note flop posts aren't that bad when they're personal but 0 note fandom posts feel literally so bad. like if you don't wanna play toys with me anymore just say that. i'll pack up my super cool awesome things and go and i'll sit on the other side of the playground by myself and i won't even look at you. fuck

#yes i AM thinking about a particular post. no it wasn't that good but still. a moment of heartache for sure #like it feels so bad but im too prou dto delete it and also too lazy

[gibbearish]

love when ppl defend the aggressive monetization of the internet with "what, do you just expect it to be free and them not make a profit???" like. yeah that would be really nice actually i would love that:)! thanks for asking

#yes i want things to be free like ??? that is not a weird desire #'but but it costs money to keep up' ok and? how is that my problem #the government has plenty of murder dollars they could reallocate a few to make internet services universal if they wanted #also these companies were perfectly capable of supporting themselves before the internet got drowned with ads so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ #edit: muting notifs on this post bc new additions have kind of petered out #so no one feel bad about adding something someone else has said‚ it is not bothering me im just trying to keep my #notifs page cleanish lol #also since i saw some people are being redirected to read my tags: firstly hiiiiii this is a special secret message for you:3 #secondly i have learned since making this that the reason they were able to support themselves previously was because #of investors bankrolling everything #and theyre now finally realizing that theyre never going to actually make a profit and arent as willing to invest #however thats just a minor correction and doesnt change my overall point #once again. so many murder dollars #so thats why im just adding it here in the tags rather than making an actual correction #anyways . love yall 💕 #origibberish #bigger gibbers

[catmask]

does anyone have like an anti aesthetic. like something you look at and can recognize as a complete fashion/interior design/artistic movement and understand it but it makes you shudder seeing it. i am not talking like “its morally bad” “its poorly structured” like just sheerly devoid of joy for you actually invites a repulse response.

#also if it wasnt clear this isnt ‘its bad its lazy’ there is a level of like #completion consistancy i am thinking for with this #personally i really do not enjoy the like. vintage chic long red nails fur coats noir esque aesthetic HOWEVER 💥💥💥 #i can recognize that it is put together it is Intentional #i feel like a lot of people are going to say minimalism on this so LET ME SAY 🫰☝️ i recognize that minimalism is Considered an aesthetic #but i *PERSONALLY* do not consider it an aesthetic i consider it the void of one #it is a lapse in aesthetic or personality in the same way a silence in a song is still technically a ‘beat’ but no music is played #however the importance of Space or Breath in design is more akin to a purposeful silence in music #because that silence matters in the same way rhythm and breath in design do #so i guess minimalism is more comparable to like. white noise. the sound of a fan #very little effort and there is a comfort in it i suppose but its not. A Design. okay #TO ME 🤫 #if minimalism has one hater its me if minimalism has no haters im dead

[ishouldsleepbut]

you know, there comes a certain point when you've been given all this support and reassurance that you're okay and you're valid and you're not the problem and you just sit down and realize that maybe you are the problem because there really is no other explanation

#veero vents #vent ig #might delete later #overly dramatic #it has to be me #i'm the only reason my life feels so bad #and i feel so bad