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vanteguccir · 2 months

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Atelophobia | Matt Sturniolo

Matt Sturniolo x reader

Summary: Where Y/N has suffered with an eating disorder for years, but lately, - because of the some "fans" and social media - her insecurities have been taking her to a more than dangerous path, which she couldn't get out without help.

Warning: anorex!a, eating disorder, comparison, self sabotage, self hatred, panic attack, pure angst... PLEASE read with caution!

Requested?: No.

Author's note: That is my work, I DON'T authorize any plagiarism! | English isn't my first language, so I'm sorry if there's any grammar error.

PS.: This is not intended to trigger anyone or an instruction of how to lose weight. Read at your own risk.

PS. 2: Written by a girl - me - who goes through this every day.

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Atelophobia; the fear of not being good enough.

This was one of the millions of fears and problems that haunted Y/N's mind. Her head convinced her a long time ago that she simply wasn't enough; for her school teachers, for her classmates, for her friends, for her parents, past boyfriends... not even for herself.

This led her to listen to what others said and thought about herself since she was very young, the desire to be perfect and within society's standards in all aspects of a human being consumed her; personality, thoughts, knowledge... body.

She was told all the time how she should behave, act, and be. She was just a child, but that didn't seem to matter to those who did it, clogging her up with responsibilities and comparisons.

One thing led to another. Her desperation to be the best at everything started to include her own body. "Fat" was the first word people used to describe her. She had no control over the situations around her, but she had control over her weight.

Y/N was always the biggest girl in her class, and her classmates seemed to love reminding her of that; often being excluded from work groups, forgotten in groups of friends, or not chosen in any team during Physical Education classes.

Until the year when everything changed. During the school vacation, she decided to change, intending to return to school as a new girl. The new cycle started well, Y/N saw a nutritionist, cutting out all fatty foods from her routine and consuming only healthy ones. She started going to the gym daily, doing the recommended training time. All of this led her to lose a significant amount of weight.

Soon, the vacation was over, and with that, the negative comments from her classmates were replaced by positive comments. Girls asking what she had done to lose weight like that, searching for advice and seeing her as a miracle. Boys saying how changed and prettier she looked.

How could she not fall in love with her own illness?

So, that made her feel good. Too good... her mind began to yearn to become thinner, more beautiful, just to hear more from others. And then the healthy diet and the one hour training at the gym were no longer enough for her. She needed more if she wanted to be better.

Y/N then intensified her training, staying at the gym for 2 hours per day, doing more reps with more weight. She crossed out several foods from the list of permitted that her nutritionist had made, choosing for herself the ones she thought were ideal, until it had almost nothing left.

Her brain self-sabotaged so that she wouldn't go out with her friends, because they would definitely want to eat somewhere and she wouldn't be able to.

She no longer participated in family dinners, creating excuses so as not to be forced to sit at the table and eat.

Her mind convinced her that she wasn't thin enough to satisfy her boyfriends' sexual and non-sexual desires, which made her pull away during or at the beginning of any relationship she had until the guy got tired, or she simply ended it.

She spent hours on the internet, searching for sensational diets that reduced daily calories to 500 or less, promising extraordinary weight loss. In addition to getting on the scale at least 4 times a day, hoping for a miracle every time she looked at the numbers.

Y/N replaced her eating schedules with random hobbies like drawing, learning a new instrument, or picking flowers from her garden to make flower crowns, occupying her time and mind.

Some things scared her, her period hadn't come in months, clumps of hair fell out every time she ran her hands through it. Her vision went dark at least 3 times a day. Her body shivered from the complete cold of her insides, and her stomach hurt more than usual.

But she had to suffer them alone since she had no one to talk to about, always alone.

Until Y/N met Matt.

Matt was the boy who made her want to get better. He encouraged her to look for a hospital that fit her preferences, where Y/N finally began to receive psychiatric and psychological care.

Her diet changed for the better, into foods that Y/N saw as safe. She did not abandon the gym but reduced the weight and time, maintaining her training just for the health of her muscles, as she had lost a lot of lean mass during her worst moment.

The calculator in her head finally stopped. Her eyes started seeing food as just food and not as the enemy. Her stomach craved for all the snacks she loved, and she finally ate them, without feeling guilty.

Matt was so thoughtful about her entire situation, having suffered himself with extreme anxiety from a young age. He could tell he understood in parts what it was like to live with a mental illness.

So he helped her maintain her healthy diet and eat all her daily meals within her limit - often opting to eat together in their room, since he knew the trepidation Y/N still felt about doing it in front of other people.

Matt praised her in every possible situation, trying not to be extreme but to show his intense love and support for the girl. All of that was helping her a lot.

Until it wasn't.

Y/N and Matt never hid their relationship from the public, the girl knew how famous her boyfriend was and how difficult it could be to keep their relationship hidden, they would be seen together at one time or another.

So it wasn't surprising that the girl appeared in some of the triplets' pictures sometimes, and that's what happened that Friday.

As usual, Nick posted a photo dump on the triplets Instagram to promote the publication of their new car video, and one of the photos was of Matt and Y/N, specifically one in which the two were sitting on the couch in their living room, the girl had her legs draped over Matt's thighs, while his tattooed arm wrapped tightly around her waist, huge smiles decorating their faces.

It was a cute photo, but apparently, that wasn't what fans thought.

While Matt and his brothers were in the kitchen, preparing healthy snacks - a habit they built through the girl, but which in the end helped everyone -, Y/N was lying on her bed in the room she shared with Matt, wrapped in too-warm covers, holding her phone with her right hand while her left hand wrapped around her stomach in an almost painful grip.

Her thumb scrolled through the comments screen beneath the post. Almost everyone there talking about her picture with Matt.

"Matt can do so much better than her"

"I really don't know what he saw in her"

"She's going to end up crushing him like that"

"I'll pay for the gym for her if that's the price for Matt to have a worthy girlfriend"

And so on, it was as if they knew all of Y/N's weaknesses.

Some fans of them could be cruel when they wanted to, and Y/N knew this by heart since seeing Nick crying several times because he was body shamed, or when she noticed Chris being quieter than usual after reading comments saying how loud he was and how that was unbearable.

Her heart was crushed every time she saw Matt suffer in silence until he couldn't hold it in any longer and finally cried in her lap for hours after reading people saying how insignificant and quiet he was in the videos.

Even though a huge mass of the fandom loved them with all their hearts and took care of them as much as the distance of a phone screen allowed, it still wasn't enough to swallow the hate comments.

But when it came to Y/N, more than half of the fandom turned against her. Maybe out of envy, but it was obvious that the girl didn't see it that way. She was convinced that they were right.

Her heart tightened as if someone was crushing it with their bare hands. The air seemed to escape her lungs, and the lunch she ate hours before seemed to want to go up her throat. Her fingers trembled as she held her stomach, feeling everything she had and didn't have there. Her eyes began to water, her lips quivering from the tears that wanted to escape.

Y/N quickly moved her finger to the back button, hoping to break out of the horrible cycle she was about to enter. A loud sob escaped her lips when, upon finally leaving the post, her feed reloaded, and a picture of a model that Y/N followed and admired appeared.

Comparison was her biggest enemy.

Negative thoughts about herself began to pollute her mind, everything around her becoming a fog. The sounds coming from the kitchen became muffled to her ears. Y/N's right hand - which was holding her phone - was gripping the device in such a way that her fingers turned white. Painful sobs escaped her mouth as her eyes remained fixed on the woman's perfect figure.

Why can't I be like her?

The longing for the sensations she felt when she starved hit her chest hard. The desire to want to be as thin as before - or more - filled her.

It didn't take long, and soon, the bedroom door was slowly opened, Matt's silhouette appearing behind it. His face was lit up with a smile - probably because of some joke his brothers made - while his right hand held a plate with two sandwiches.

His cheerful expression was replaced by a frown of concern. Matt quickly closed the door with his feet, walking towards the bed, haphazardly placing the plate on the nearest bedside table before sitting down on the mattress.

His hands flew to Y/N's waist, stopping over her own hand that was squeezing her skin with a force that was sure to leave it bruised.

The girl seemed to wake up from her trance, lifting her head and meeting Matt's calming - but worried - gaze. She cried harder as she imagined what her boyfriend would be thinking of her now.

Automatically, her mind started to play her current state, messy hair, swollen and red face, skin wet with tears, eyes half closed and mouth open, allowing sobs to escape from there.

"M-Matt-" Her sentence was cut off by a sob, her eyes closing tightly.

Matt took a deep breath, trying to process what to do next. His left hand - the one that didn't cover hers - slowly took the phone, taking it out of his girl's death grip. He glanced briefly at the screen, automatically understanding what was happening before locking it and putting the device aside.

He moved his body so that it was closer to hers, resting his hand on her spine and guiding her until she laid her head on his chest, caressing the area below his fingers.

Matt felt his heart break with every tremble that rocked the body beneath his caused by the sobs. If he could take that pain away from his girlfriend, he would.

"It's okay, baby, let it out. I'm right here." He cooed, his fingers caressed the tangled strands of her hair lightly, stroking the area while moving his upper body back and forth, slowly calming his girlfriend.

"Ma-Matty-" Y/N's voice was weak, wobbly from the pain in her heart.

Matt removed his hand from hers for a few seconds, stretching it to the bedside table - where the plate was -, taking the bottle of water that Y/N always filled before going to sleep. He opened the lid in one quick movement, bringing it close to his girl's face.

"Come on, my love. Sit down for a moment and take a sip of water. Please." The boy asked in a soft voice, helping Y/N straighten her posture before bringing the bottle closer to her lips, helping her take a few small sips of the contents.

He closed the bottle after making sure she was satisfied, placing it on the mattress before turning his attention to Y/N again. He brushed away the strands of hair from her face, tucking them behind her ear.

"What if they're right?" She asked in a whisper, catching her bottom lip between her teeth in an attempt to keep from crying.

"No, they aren't." Matt's tone was convincing, as if he was absolutely sure of what he was saying. "You are not worse than others because of your weight. You look great as you are. Your body is perfect, do you know why? Because he's healthy enough to carry you around and take care of you." The boy held her hands lightly, stroking the back of her fingers gently as he looked into her eyes. "The recovery journey is not easy, I remember the words your psychologist said to me when we had that session together. I imagine your head when you see clothes getting tighter, and these comments certainly make you want to give up, I know you, baby."

He paused momentarily, watching her reactions carefully.

Y/N knew that, recovery was hard work. Not wanting to die was hard work.

"Recovery is not a race. You don't have to feel guilty about taking less or more time than you originally thought or having relapses from time to time. This is part of the process, and I want you to understand this. You are the most beautiful girl I have ever seen in my entire life. When I look at the most beautiful things, I remember you. In the pink tulips of the flower shop across the street, in the Cassiopeia constellation, in the bees that fly in our garden and in the greenest tree I have ever seen." Y/N let out a tearful laugh when she heard him mention the tree, knowing his immense love for nature. "Because you're pretty like them."

"I-I'm sorry." The girl whispered, sniffling then lowering her gaze in shame. "I... I saw the photos that Nick posted, and there were comments..." She shook her head, closing her eyes tightly.

"Oh baby." He leaned slightly over Y/N, sealing his lips over her warm forehead. "If you want to apologize, let me do it. If you went through this now, it was because of me."

"No, Matt. It was never and will never be your fault." Y/N shook her head, wiping her eyes momentarily with the sleeve of her - his - hoodie, sniffling slightly before taking one of Matt's hands, intertwining their fingers. "You don't control people, much less through the internet. They will always talk a lot because they are behind a screen that protects them, but that will never be your fault. I would rather go through this a thousand times and have you with me than never have you again."

"I understand." He paused momentarily. "Please, don't let it get to that point again while you're alone. If you see something that upsets you or makes you feel bad, turn it off instantly and call me. I want to be there to help you. I want to be there for you." The brunette asked, staring at her eyes.

Y/N sighed, nodding her head and leaning slightly closer to him, resting her forehead on Matt's shoulder, exhaling the softening scent and perfume that exuded from the fabric of the hoddie on his body.

Her eyes burned from the tears she shed, closing them tightly to prevent more from falling, her heart still feeling sore from everything.

"If you want, we can contact that psychologist again, the one who helped you throughout the process at the hospital." Matt lowered his head, bringing his face closer to the back of Y/N's head, pressing his lips against his girl's hair, closing his eyes as he felt the warmth of her body close to his. "I want to attend some sessions just like we did last time, so I understand how I can help you this time."

Y/N felt her heart warm instantly, her free hand snaking to Matt's thigh closest to her, stroking the covered skin lightly.

"Okay."

Matt loved Y/N more than he loved himself, and he would make sure that she understood that she wasn't alone anymore.

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My asks are always open. Feel free to send requests or anything at all 🩷💋

And remember to treat people with kindness always!

‼️: If you relate to any of the things that I wrote on this, feel free to send me a message, my DMs are open!! I'm always open to talking to you all. You don't need to suffer alone. You're all super strong, and you got this!! I love you 🩷

~ taglist:

@lustfulslxt @ladybunny44 @worldlxvlys @earth2starkey @remussbitch @freshloveforthefit @il0vebeingdelulu @sturniolowhore @mimi-luvzyu @alorsxsturn @urfavgirllyyyyy @domizzzsstuff @sturnizd @hearts4chris @cupidzsq @dracoflaco @leah-loves-lilies @tylerthecreatorsrealwife

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h8ani · 9 months

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Prompt #21 with Sasuke from Naruto please! 🥰 Surprise me!

Part One → Part Two → Part Three

Pairing: Sasuke Uchiha x Reader

Anime: Naruto

Word Count: 3k

Synopsis: you hate him and he hates you, but when he shows up out of nowhere demanding to speak to you all of those years of pent up hatred come out

Warnings: this is the first smut I wrote in years so that’s a warning in itself, rough doggy, all characters are of age/aged up, dirty talk, angry sasuke, oral (female receiving), missionary for 2.5 seconds, angry reader at sasuke

Prompt: “This doesn’t change anything between us.”

A/N - look I actually tried really hard on this and I lowkey wanna make a pt2 to this so please tell me if y’all would want it! Feel free to request a prompt!

"Isn't he so cute!"

"I'm going to marry him someday."

"Sasuke is so cool!"

Hearing his name you couldn't help but roll your eyes. You couldn't stand his attitude even at your young age. It was always someone trying to one up the other, whether it be you excelling in your chakra control or him beating someone else in seconds in a sparring match. You hated him, you hated his attitude and you hated how every girl would throw herself in front of a kunai for him. You hated Sasuke Uchiha and he hated you.

Your feelings towards him weren't one sided either, he could've left you alone but no, he had to bother you any chance he got. Clearly he developed damage to his brain where he can't learn to develop the skills of empathy and self control.

The teasing wasn't that bad, it was the shitty tricks he'd pull and act like it wasn't him. If you wanna pull a prank on someone at least take ownership instead of being a pussy. Did you just call a 12 year old a pussy? Yes. Yes you did. Sasuke Uchiha at 12 years old was a pussy and you've told him that to his face too.

~~~

"You're leaving." You say as more of a statement than a question. You look at the brooding kid in front of you, his hand on his backpack strap tightening as he stares angrily at you.

"What does it matter to you?"

"It doesn't but-"

"Then shut up and mind your business." He interjects quickly causing you to stare daggers at him.

"You're a pussy." You push off from the wall you were leaning on and brush past him. "You were weak during exams and you're weak now." You begin to walk away past him when his grips the collar of your shirt and slams you back into the wall you were on. "Hey asshole!-"

"Shut. The. Fuck. Up." He cuts you off, his face only mere inches from you.

"You wanna kiss pretty boy?" You shove him away as hard as you can creating some distance between the two of you. "Just get the fuck out of the village already."

And so he did.

You couldn't feel any happier once Sasuke was out of the village. The pain in your ass wasn't there anymore and you felt like you didn't need to prove yourself as the top of your class anymore even though you have been graduated from the academy for over two years. You were perfectly fine without him, everyone else he supposedly made 'friends' with, if he was even able to make actual friends that is; they were worried, suddenly wanting to go out and retrieve him like he was taken. Once again Sasuke was the top priority to everyone minds.

You couldn't care less about Sasuke Uchiha.

~~~

He hasn't crossed your mind on your own accord in years. You hadn't seen him in years, you know he's still a topic around the village but you tend to zone everyone out when he gets brought up and at this point in time it's been working. Out of sight, out of mind, he could have gotten himself killed in a random battle and you don't think you'd shed a single tear for him.

You hear a bang at your front door which catches your attention immediately, you go to ignore it thinking it's the neighbor's kid across from your apartment kicking the ball they had against your door until the banging becomes repetitive, the more bangs coming from the other side of the door the louder they became. You swing the door open looking to see who or what was the cause of the annoying noise only to be shoved to the side into the door frame. "What the hell!" You raise your voice grabbing the wrist of who barged in, you get overpowered and pulled back into your apartment and the door gets slammed. You look up at the intruder who shoved his way into your home and see him. "Sasuke?"

Sasuke looks frustrated to say the least. He has the same signature scowl he's always had on his face and the same posture with his arms crossed over his chest while looking around your apartment. There doesn't seem to be a difference in the way he looks at you either, the same hatred behind his eyes as always, even with him being the one rudely shoving his way inside.

"(Y/N)." He said simply with nothing coming after. You waited a few moments if he was just trying to be dramatic with his entrance. He never said anything after that.

"Why are you back in the village?"

"I'm not." You roll your eyes and huff a sigh.

"Why are you here in my apartment then?" You mimic his body and cross your arms over your chest, his head turns to face you and his eyes stare at you intensely. You'd say you were used to this but after so many years you've grown unaccustomed to the look he used to give you because it was nothing like this.

"I'm here to talk, I need to-"

"Why am I supposed to care what you need?" You insert before he's done speaking. He huffs a breath and soon enough his eyes shoot the daggers you remember.

"I don't expect you to I just need-"

"How about you tell me why you left the village in the first place?" You cut him off mid sentence once again. You don't care about his needs, you don't care about him at all, but you'd like some answers. "Was it like everyone was saying? That you just wanted to grow stronger? So did you find it? Did you get stronger like you wanted?"

"That doesn't matter I don't need to answer that right now, you clearly already know the answer to that." He rolls his eyes and let his arms fall from his chest.

Sasuke was never a man of many words, he was never a man at all he was just a little boy, but with his responses you can't help but bug him about it. Call it being nosy or call it you always zoning everyone out the second you hear his name so you never actually found out the reasoning for him abandoning the village.

"So you're still weak? You're still that little kid who does nothing but bitch and complain about wanting revenge. You may have grown up in these last few years but you're still that sad, pathetic, weakling-" Your shoulders are shoved and pinned to the wall behind you in a moment, you gasp out at the sudden jolt in your back and look up at the angry ravenette.

"Shut up." He growls lowly and if looks could kill, not that he could but you'd probably drop dead if he wished it.

"Make me you prick." You look at him, your stare unwavering as the pressure on your shoulders feels tighter.

There is no sound in your home but everything seems to be buzzing in your ears. Sasuke's face only inches from yours, seemingly just like when he left the village. You feel a sudden wave of nostalgia if you can even call it that as it wasn't a fond memory to think back on. You wait for his response, you look into his eyes and can't decipher what's going on in his head. His grip on your shoulders loosen before he crashes his lips onto yours, his hand now finding a place onto the back of your neck to pull you even closer to him.

Your eyes widen in shock as you don't kiss him back. The kiss surprising you but what is even more of a shock is who is kissing you. You feel him pull away and the look he gives you is mixed with annoyance and frustration. "Just kiss me back." He pauses and smirks, "Or are you too much of a pussy." Your eyes darken with anger as he used your insult to him against yourself. He doesn't wait for your answer before he pulls you back to his lips, you instantly kissing back.

The kiss was hard and the only emotion behind it was the hatred you feel towards him. Your lips molded together as you two kissed, his hand found it's way from the back of your neck to tangling itself in your hair while you felt his grip tighten sending a tingling sensation to your scalp. He took the opportunity to slide his tongue in heating the kiss up in an instant.

You could feel him press against you, his leg sliding between yours and pressing against your clothed core, a small sound comes out but is quickly swallowed down by him. His lips leave yours to slowly kiss down your jaw, it was excruciatingly slow the way he kissed you, from your jaw to your neck to the sweet spot he found almost instantly. You bit back a moan but he made sure to take his time marking up your neck.

The feeling of his thigh was hard to push to the back of your mind, all you could feel was Sasuke and what he was doing to you. You hate him, you hate how he's making you react right now and you hate at how good he is and neither of you have even taken a single piece of clothing off of each other yet. You hate even more the needy words that come out of your mouth next.

"Bedroom." You say almost breathlessly, you could feel the smirk he gives against your neck before quickly going back to your lips. His hands slide to your waist and pull you to him and walk you back not daring to break from the kiss. He pushes open one door and you feel your ass bump into something hard and cold, you pull away from him to see you backed up against your washing machine. "You idiot, this is the wrong room." You roll your eyes and walk past him going into your bedroom.

"How the fuck was I supposed to know that it's not like I've been in your apartment." He scoffs following you and kicking the door shut.

"Oh I bet you must've dreamed-" your words were short lived as he spun you around and kissed you quieting you down.

Kissing Sasuke wasn't like all the books you've read, it wasn't sweet, it wasn't like being with your ex's when you were in love. His kiss was full of passion, it's a kiss of desire and a feeling of pent up frustrations he nor you have been able to let out. Frustrations at each other, at the world, at everything. Sasuke was a damn good kisser too which annoyed you even further.

His lips left yours to tug off your top, the fabric quickly being discarded to a random corner in your room. His eyes ate your figure up, seeing how your breasts layed there perfectly in your bra you were wearing. A low groan left his lips as he went to kiss up your chest, his fingers hooking onto the waistband of your skirt and started to tug it down past your thighs pooling around your ankles. You quickly kicked them away and pulled at his shirt. "Off." You demand and he takes no time in removing his shirt before pushing you back to the edge of the bed and dropping to his knees."

"Spread." He now is the one demanding. You go to spread your legs before pausing and closing them causing a confused look to cross his face.

"This doesn't change anything between us. I still hate you." His confusion quickly deadpans before shaking his head.

"God shut up." He spreads your legs and pushes your panties to the side before slowly swiping his thumb along your slit and pressing it to your clit causing you to gasp. "You're soaked." It was more of a statement than anything but feeling his thumb start to roll little circles on your clit sent a shockwave up your body. You watched him as he stared at your pussy.

"Are you going to sit and stare or are you going to actually do something pretty boy?" Your words rang in his ears and he slowly looked up at you, the same irritation growing in him like it did all those years ago when you'd call him that name. His thumb left your clit and his index and middle finger slowly pushed it and curled causing you to let out a small moan. He could feel you already clenching around them as he started to pump them in and out of you. "Stop calling me that." His head dipped down between your thighs and licked a long swipe before settling on your clit making you let out another moan.

"I can't help it." You say running your fingers through his hair. "You're a pretty- ahh fuck..." Sasuke sucks on your clit harshly, his fingers curling and uncurling from your gspot making your mind go fuzzy with the pleasure he's giving you. Your fingers tighten in his hair tugging slightly, "Fuck Sasuke." You throw your head back taking in the feeling of his tongue and fingers working on you. You can feel the coil in your stomach tighten up and you screw your eyes shut feeling the pleasure hit you. You feel dizzy and can't focus on anything but Sasuke. He tugs your panties down past your hips and tosses them to the side before finally undoing his pants. You fall back against your bed, chest heavy as that was one orgasm that knocked the wind out of you.

You feel the bed dip down before you're turned over to your stomach, a harsh smack heard before you felt his hand come across your ass. "Ass up." He says, his voice low as he picks up your hips positioning them to his liking. You feel him bring the tip of his cock up and down your slit causing you to shiver. You can just feel the smirk on his face before he pushes in giving you no moment to get adjusted. You let out a mix of a moan and groan feeling him stretch you out, you not having any sort of sex in a while is the excuse you'd like to give but you also didn't expect Sasuke to be big in the slightest.

His hands gripped your hips and brought you back with each thrust, you arched your back and dropped your head letting out small moans as he hit a spot in you that you haven't felt before. "You ever felt this good before with anybody else?" You could hear the smugness in his voice. "You're so fucking tight, don't tell me, you weren't saving yourself for anyone were you?" He chuckles as he thinks what he's saying is funny, you throw your hand back ready to smack him but he quickly catches it and pins your arm behind your back pushing you further into the mattress as he slams into you at a slower pace. "Of course you weren't, you take my cock too well."

You could feel every inch of him with every hard thrust he gives you, feeling him deep in your stomach as you grip the bedsheets tighter and tighter. "Please go faster." You whine out without meaning to. Sasuke pulls out and flips you to your back before slowly pushing back in making you moan. He leaned forward his thrusts picking up pace and making you look at him.

The close proximity of him making you nervous all of a sudden, missionary was for eye contact, kissing, all of that intimate shit. Doggy style is much more your style with Sasuke. You don't have to look at him. The smirk on his face makes you question him before he speaks. "Who knew you were such a needy sub." Your eyebrows furrow as you go to speak but the words died on your tongue when Sasuke brings his fingers to your clit again bringing you close to your second orgasm. "You're just taking my dick like a good girl, aren't you?" You shake your head refusing to listen to him. His fingers move faster on your clit giving you the perfect amount of pressure to send you back over the edge. Your eyes squeezed shut and head pressed back in your mattress as you orgasmed for the second time in the night. You can feel Sasuke's hips stutter as he fucks you through your orgasm, his pace quickening even more before you felt him stop and let out a low groan as he came inside you.

Your eyes shoot open as you smack his arm, "You did not! Not inside you idiot!" You shove him off of you as you quickly go to your bathroom that's connected to your room.

Sasuke chuckles to himself before letting out a small "oops." He sits himself up on your bed and gets himself dressed. He can hear you grumbling in the bathroom and the shower starting to run as he gets finished. He stands up and makes his way around your room walking to the door before his eyes laid upon picture frames on your dresser. He can faintly see pictures of your closest friends, some recent and some old but what catches his eyes the most was a picture taken when you were in the academy. It was when the top of the class got a picture taken and both you and Sasuke tied for number one. Both of you were upset that you had to take a picture together and it was evident on your faces. Your arms were crossed while glaring at the camera man and whoever had to have forced the picture and Sasuke was looking over to the side, his hand on his hip and looking as annoyed as ever.

Out of all the photos you put in a frame you put that one even as you hated him.

Hate. It's a funny emotion. Isn't it?

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thekingofcrochet · 11 months

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Just shy of 30 I drew my own nude portrait…

I'm not new to nude figure drawing. I went to art school after all. And figure drawing courses are the least sexiest thing about art school.

Sometimes the model is moving through poses quickly so you never get to see one area for too long. Sometimes they sit for multiple sessions in the same pose and by the time it's over you may have developed a tense relationship with the back of someone's left knee.

If you fall in love, you've done it wrong. Plain and simple. It's a school child's definition of love - persistence and obsession, a single two-sided coin

But when was the last time you saw yourself as other's see you. I don't mean in a philosophical sense. When your friends take pictures of you, are you happy? or disgruntled? or sad? or bored?

What about when you see those photos? Do you hate what you see?

So far, most of my self portaits have just been that - portrait shots. From the shoulders up, I got really good at drawing my eyes, nose, mouth, ears. I've figured out how to draw glasses and how to get the eyes to look almost the same. At least twice a year I would draw myself. Usually for a class. And then I'd just start doing it because it seemed like a fun thing to do. And what better reference than one's own body.

I was never good at drawing the rest of me - body dysmorphia and body dysphoria created a me that was never me. Mirrors were my enemy. Or a window to a me who didn't exist. Or the me who existed while I was trapped in the mirror.

But then I started getting naked. I put myself on display. For people to look at and think their thoughts. I lavished in the praise and ignored the hatred. What did they know about me? About my body? The eating disorders? The hormone problems? Walking through life tits first, personality second? Who cares what they think. I certainly don't.

So why did I hate my body? Who is making me hate my body?

I chose to remove my facial features and instead draw some flowers. Because if I'm anything, than it's a hypocrite. A beautiful, sexy hypocrite.

If you’ve made it this far, then you should know that I had originally posted this reflection on ko-fi many months ago. But my page has been suspended because I included “censored nudity” which is against the guidelines. They don’t care that I made this work for non-sexual reasons.

So now that’s one less revenue stream for me and my art.

You can support me at any other link while i try to figure out either how to get my page back or if I should switch to Patreon or something

#kingly #kingly rambles #queer essays

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sunnyrealist · 28 days

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Chapter 37: The First Fight

The Sun, the Moon, and All Our Stars

Summary and Details…

Chapter Background and Summary: Sebastian and Kate are on an adventurous camping trip in the Scottish Highlands. On the third day, the lovers explore a hidden cave. Attempting to feed off of their emotions, a horde of Dementors create an illusion depicting the couple's greatest fantasies and worst fears. When Sebastian passes out, Kate protects them both, getting them both to safety. When he wakes, they have a lot to unpack. Sebastian finally tells Kate more about his unimaginably horrific experiences in Azkaban and reveals his ever-present self-doubt. Kate's subsequent words of unwavering support, positivity, and adoration lift him from the depths of his sorrow, and it all results in intense lovemaking. Filled with happiness, Sebastian stupidly proposes without thinking; Kate tells him she wants to marry him but won't accept until he plans and does it right.

Pairing: 25-year-old, post-Azkaban Sebastian Sallow x Kate Mayflower (my OC)

Content warnings: In general, this story is rated 18+, so MNDI. This chapter features the couple's first argument, the hypothetical idea of parental disapproval, feelings of extremely low self-esteem, discussion of privilege and status, misunderstandings, and sharp, biting words.

The full chapter is available below the cut; it can also be found on AO3 (link is posted below). Please leave some feedback if possible. 🥰

Chapter 37: The First Fight

Kate and Sebastian finally stop chuckling about their newfound hatred for caves.

“I am rather excited to see the castle, though,” Kate tells him with a grin. "There's bound to be something interesting there if it's so inaccessible. Hopefully it will be safer, though. I think I've had enough danger for a lifetime." She laughs, but she's completely serious. "I've never been in a situation like that in all my life. I... Honestly, I never thought I would need to use anything I learned in Defense Against the Dark Arts at Hogwarts. Thank goodness for Professor Hecat being a great teacher. You know, she is such a fascinating person."

Sebastian has a brief flash of guilt upon hearing the word safer. He and Kate could have died in the cave if not for her quick thinking. He should have been the one to protect her - and he has mixed feelings about the fact that his girlfriend had to be his protector. It’s obvious that she is still worried and shaken.

He tries to shake those thoughts and kisses her shoulder gently, smiling as she mentions their old teacher. "You must have been a good student in her class, then?"

"I think I earned an Acceptable grade, so, no, not really. I was definitely not one of her star students. I was never a great duelist; no one would have recruited me for Crossed Wands, that illicit dueling club. It was such a poorly kept secret. A couple of my friends joined it - Lottie and Otty. They’re married now, living in America," Kate adds. "Anyway, I know the class wasn't only about dueling. Just like everyone else, I had to practice against a Boggart and learn the Patronus spell and other things." She furrows her brow as she realizes something. "Sebastian... you never learned the Patronus spell, did you? We didn't study that until sixth year... you would have… been in prison."

Sebastian shakes his head slowly. His face is unreadable for a moment before he speaks.

"I did not have the opportunity to learn the Patronus spell," he says quietly. "You're right. I was in prison for sixth year." He sighs. "Not only did they take my freedom and years of my life... but they robbed me of my education as well. That was one of the worst parts."

Kate rubs his back. "Considering how much you love to study and learn, to never have finished your schooling… That is truly a cruel punishment. I mean... of course you're a competent wizard," she notes quickly, hoping not to offend him. "You're more competent than most, really..." She looks up into his eyes. "You would have been a top NEWT student, based on what you've told me about school. It's a shame."

Sebastian's face remains serious but even more sad. He takes a deep breath, exhaling to shake off his melancholy. "I wish I had had the opportunity to finish my schooling," he remarks somberly this time. "But it is what it is. My life is so different than I expected."

Kate's eyebrows raise as she considers his wish. She wonders if, as a Hogwarts staff member, she could advocate for him to finish coursework somehow. She doesn't mention it, as she doesn't want to get his hopes up. She's never even heard of that happening, so it’s incredibly unlikely.

"There is one thing I will say. You may have never graduated, but you are a learned man. Honestly, you're one of the smartest people I know." She offers him a smile. "And you've experienced things that others never will. It's given you a perspective most will never be able to understand."

"You are correct. It has given me a view of the world and humanity that is truly unique. It has changed me in many ways," he admits, meeting her gaze once again. "But I cannot deny that it has hurt my pride, as a wizard. If I am being completely honest, it is something that makes me ashamed and embarrassed... and sometimes angry."

"I understand." Kate nods, looking down.

It’s been a day of misfortune, revelations, and tough conversations. There is still something weighing heavily on her mind, one that has been for quite some time now. It’s not going to make for pleasant conversation, but it eventually must be said, so Kate decides that it might as well happen today.

"I have to be completely honest with you, Bash." There's a pause. "You know how much I love you. But... my family..." She takes a breath. "My family has really high standards. I... I don't know what they are going to think about your past." She takes a breath. "No one will change my mind about you, but... it worries me. I think they are going to be a challenge." She is afraid to meet his eyes. It's going to hurt him, but she has to tell him at some point. Her family is going to ask questions soon - potentially as soon as they return home after their trip.

Sebastian takes a sharp inhale and holds his breath as he processes her words. She's concerned that her family won't accept him, he gathers.

Now, it is her turn to see a flash of anger from him. He clenches his jaw tightly, his entire face hard. "My past," he says, his voice low and cold. "My past should not matter to them. And you know better than anyone that my past doesn't define me. You know who I am now..."

Kate tenses up even more upon seeing his expression and hearing his tone. Her own voice comes out a little squeaky. "O-Of course I know that, Sebastian..." She looks as though she is physically in pain. "But… my parents are going to find out about your past, and... though it doesn't define you, it is part of who you are today. If I don't tell them myself, they'll figure it out on their own. My mum is resourceful. She can find anything out if she puts her mind to it. She knows a lot of people. She's... she's really the obstacle, if I'm honest, Bash. I'm..." she hesitates. "I'm scared. I'm scared of what she'll think."

"Your mother shouldn't even know about my past before I tell her," he barks. "I should be the one to tell your parents... Not you." He looks as though he is struggling to remain in control, his anger seeping out of him in waves. "Is there even a part of you that believes me worthy of your trust and affection?" he growls. “That your parents will find me worthy?”

"Stop it," Kate snaps back, irritated. "You need to cool down. I'm on your side, not working against you." Her brows knit together. "I mean, Sebastian, consider their point of view. Someday, if we become parents, would you be thrilled by the prospect of our daughter marrying an Azkaban escapee who never even graduated from school?" She realizes she's getting heated, too, and takes a moment before she starts again. "I'm more upset about this than you know! You deserve family. If my family is awful about you, I would feel terrible, Sebastian. Terrible for you."

"Yeah, well, whatever," Sebastian replies, bitterness in his voice. "I am an Azkaban escapee, an uneducated dark wizard who only works for the DMLE because I was forced to become a double-agent. And I’m practically a gang member. You're right! I'm not a catch! Why would any parents want their daughter to be with a man who has done the things I have done?" His breath is getting faster now, his hand clenched and shaking with rage and adrenaline. "They'll despise me, and there will be nothing I can do about that. I'm just a lowlife loser, aren't I?!"

"No!" Kate protests. "No, of course not! Bash, please..."

"Face it, Kate," he says coldly. "Your parents are going to look down on me because of my past. Hell, even you are looking down on me right now!" There is a pause as he gathers his thoughts amidst the anger boiling inside. "You know they see everything from their angle of pureblood privilege. And I am pureblood, as if that even fucking matters, but I certainly don't fit into your family's world of status and wealth. I won't fit in. I won't be considered good enough for you!"

Kate begins tearing up silently, unable to speak. Her throat hurts, a sure sign she is going to cry. When she eventually feels the inevitable hot tears sliding down her face, she wipes them and shakily says, "I-I t-think we should take a minute to- to ourselves. I'll... get dinner ready. Please don't follow me."

Sebastian's heart shatters as he watches tears roll down her cheeks, her lips trembling. He's seen Kate cry before, but never like this. She's usually so confident, so collected, but here, in this moment, she is anything but.

Anger still smolders inside of him, but he knows it isn't really directed at her. He knows he needs to calm down. He needs to be better, but he just can't resist another mean comment. "Fine. Go. Be alone! Go cry or whatever it is that you need to do," he spits out, his voice tinged with bitterness.

Kate is mute as she puts her pink dress back on, struggling to tie the bow as her hands shake. Sebastian just observes, simmering and not offering to help. She takes one last look at him, then disappears down into her extendable bag to take some time to calm herself down and think.

He watches her leave with his fists clenched in a white-knuckled grip, tears burning in his eyes. Almost immediately, Sebastian wants to follow her and apologize. He wants to hug her, hold her, wipe her tears... but he just can't. Deep down, his pride is wounded. Is it his fault that she is crying? She always has it together, she is always strong, and here he has reduced her to tears with just a few words. His thoughts are a mix of anger, guilt, and regret as he gets up from the bed and dresses. He opens the tent flap and steps outside to get some air.

The moment Kate reaches the bottom of the ladder, she mutters a silencing charm and allows herself to let loose, sobbing. The situation just isn't fair to anyone, and she knows it's going to be difficult to convince her family about Sebastian's worth. Her mum is so judgmental, and her papa and sister will be concerned more than anything.When some time has passed, she finally begins to prepare for dinner. She'll have to face Sebastian sooner or later, and perhaps after some time and some food, they can have a more civil conversation.

#hogwarts legacy fanfic #hogwarts legacy sebastian #sebastian sallow x oc #post azkaban sebastian #hufflepuff x slytherin #aged up sebastian sallow #hogwarts legacy oc #hl oc #hl sebastian #hogwarts legacy romance #sebastian sallow #hogwarts legacy original character

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rainybubbles · 1 year

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How do you meet One Piece boys ? part III

Part 3- Rayleigh, Kid, Zoro and Killer

K I D :

-Fighting drunkards was in your Friday's schedule.

-Between listening how Lucy was not well fucked by her cheater boyfriend, (she deserved better) and how George was a hero during his time.

-(Hero of the chlamydia maybe, but surely not in the marine )

-Being a bartender was fun but it had its downsides.

-And fighting some drunkards was one.

-Usually, there were easy to convince, and they just get back home safely with some sober friends.

-But there were assholes.

-The anger-alcohol one.

-You know the one that just after one short, decided to argue with a dude, just because he dared to breathe his oxygen.

-Or because he mooved his arm to weirdly

-And the red-haired here.

-He was one of those by the screaming you were hearing.

-So you took the baseball bat under the bar, ready to threat them.

-But when you arrived, you saw a puppy in the red-haired's arms.

-You understood that the guy he was fighting mistreated the poor puppy.

-And by his words "even him would not fucking touch those things, dumbass"

-So you walked to his side and asked the guy to leave, while you took the puppy and thanked the pirate.

-But he didn't let it go.

-"I'm not letting Monster-killer-king-destroy go."

-"...That's a name of a fucking machine, sir."

-"That's what she said." he answered.

-You frowned your eyebrows.

-"It was horrible, and this puppy needs a stable home. I'm not sure that a boat is a good thing for him."

-"Killer can take care of him."

-"No, a puppy needed patience, calm and space." Killer answered.

-The pirate stared at the puppy who wagged his tail.

-They stared at each other.

-One minute.

-Two.

-Three.

-Four and

-"I WILL TAKE IT FINE. YOU CAN PAY HIM A VISIT WHEN YOU WANT BUT PLEASE STOP THIS...THIS FUCKING SCENE !"

-He smiled.

-He obviously knew what he did.

-(False, he was just acting like a child)

-You took the puppy and let him a vivre card so he could meet you again.

-You guess your Friday's night would now be fighting drunkards and took for a walk with Monster-killer-king-destroy.

R A Y L E I G H :

-One Piece, a myth that everyone heard about.

-But you, what interested you was the men that created it.

-Gol D Roger and his crewmates.

-Why no one was investigating on them? Even if it was not about the One Piece, just to hear their stories, their background.

-That's how you, little journalist, you ended up on the Sabaody Archipelago.

-Some rumors reached your ears that the "Dark King" was here.

-Enter in his bar would be stupid, so you observed his coming and going trying to find if he was in contact with the others.

-It was hard.

-Because he has the Observation Haki.

-So you couldn't just walk behind him.

-No, you had to hide far away, in some bushes or with some disguisement in a crowd, faking a -routine or some shopping.

-And it seemed to work.

-Until a pirate took your for his hatred brother with your fake mustache (or real if you have one)

-Fighting a guy, three meters tall, was not in your undercover mission.

-You gulped down and tried to explain, but he strangled you, screaming you'll die for what you did.

-But before he could squeezed harder, he fainted.

-Rayleigh was here.

-Smiling at you.

-"I have to help you, after all you've followed me for two weeks."

-...maybe you were not about to being a spy.

-Or your brother had lied to you during all this time about the hide and seeks you had done together.

Z O R O :

-You were at a ball.

-Not a ball like you're picturing...

-It was what they called a "rallye".

-A night for nobles to meet people of their "classes" to arrange some relationships between their -kids.

-Sounds horrible, isn't it ?

-Welcome in the nobles world.

-Engaged at the birth or bring into those balls.

-You didn't pay any attention.

-You were already engaged.

-You didn't complain because your fiancé was also against this mascarade.

-You two had a fake relationship and let the other living their life.

-So why are you here?

-Well, you tried to protect your cousin who didn't belive you about the goal of this night.

-She was dancing innocently, and you were trying to scare the perverts off.

-That how you found a green haired who seemed lost dancing with an old lady promising he would be so well-treated if he was her husband.

-You blinked.

-You knew all the line of nobles.

-And the fucking Zoro the pirate was not in.

-You looked back at your cousin and distracted her while you took his hand.

-"You're lost, isn't it?"

-"That's why I was trying to say before she forced me to dance."

-"You have to leave quick before the Marine came."

-"The Marine ???!"

-"Some of them are rich and they...they came here too. You're in a giant blind-date with obsessed genetics wealthy people."

-"You are-"

-"I'm not. I just...I'm trying to gain my liberty, but it's quite laborious when no one dares to offer a noble some works to do or a salary."

-"You need money if you leave your parents." He understood.

-'Well-done Sherlock, the southern door will lead you to the forest, go to the right and walk, normally you'll find the port."

-"Thanks."

-He let you down.

-But you realized he was walking towards the north.

-'YOU FUCKING PIRATE' You mumbled while you were taking his hands.

-(let's say you escorted him to the port, no letting, his hand and calling his crew to be sure he was at his boat)

K I L L E R :

You were recruited by Kid.

Yeah.

That's it.

Part 1 (Marco, Mihawk, Izo and Sanji)

Part 2 (Ace, Shanks, Law)

Sorry for my mistakes, English is not my first language !

#one piece x reader #headcanon #one piece headcanons #x reader #kid x reader #zoro x reader #dark king rayleigh #rayleigh x reader

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fantasyinvader · 10 months

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Shit, I feel like an idiot.

We talk a lot here about Nirvana, the three poisons, the animal path and how this all relates to Three Houses. The three poisons are represented by three animals: pig (delusion/ignorance), rooster (greed/attachment), snake (hatred). It’s easy to tie the last two to Edelgard, leader of the Black Eagles Class who works with TWSITD, but connecting her to a pig? Outside of how I used to jokingly call her Piglet, correlating her to Xi Jinping and how Winnie the Pooh is used to mock him, I came up with nothing.

But then Ferdinand’s line after Gronder in Verdant Wind hit me. He compares Edelgard running amuck to Dimitri, the BOAR prince.

Ferdinand: No. If a leader's emotions overcome them, others must step in to prevent poor decision-making. Why did his followers not intervene? His attendants? I used to call Edelgard my leader, and now she is running amok. I am duty-bound to stop her.

That’s the link, that Edelgard is running around like someone whose emotions are out of control. Dimitri’s state of mind is destructive, which goes with moha and further ties him to the pig. That’s Dimitri’s poison/flame, he’s too emotional and it’s cleansed by wisdom and insight (amoha). Just check what Ferdinand says if Dimitri lives through Gronder.

Ferdinand: If he can make thoughtful decisions, unswayed by his emotions, he may make a fine king someday.

Byleth: Kings can’t have feelings?

Ferdinand: No, they cannot. Kingly judgment has to be wholly separate from the emotions of the individual.

But then, how does Claude fit into this? This one’s a little trickier. Dragons are in the Chinese zodiac, representing Enlightenment, but that’s because the Chinese didn’t have the same concept of a “greater serpent” as Indians. They used dragons to fill in the gap. Claude is a Wyvern-rider, wyvern’s being a lesser dragon whose forearms serve as wings rather than having four-limbs in addition to a set of wings. So while greater serpent = dragon, wyvern/lesser dragon = serpent.

Claude’s poison isn’t his ignorance of Fodlan, it’s hatred. His hatred for the Church of Seiros and Rhea, believing them to be the root cause of Fodlan’s problems and why he’s seen as an outsider. Suddenly, a few things make sense. Claude’s actions in Silver Snow, he uses the Church in order to secure the Great Bridge so he can march on the Empire, and when he gets his ass kicked and according to Word of God leaves Fodlan he lets the Alliance go to rot rather than hand it over to the Church. Compare this to him handing the Alliance over to Dimitri before leaving in Azure Moon. He’s not willing to support the Church or ask them for aid in Flower either. HOPES!

It’s only though Claude letting go of his hatred, getting Rhea’s side of the story and fucking emphasizing with her that he becomes the hero. Loving-kindness is what he needs.

So, does that mean Edelgard is the rooster due to her Black Eagles connection, and her sin is attachment? No. It doesn’t, as the Japanese script makes Flower out to be the animal path. She represents ALL three flames. Hatred, attachment, ignorance. Leader of the Black Eagle Strike Force with feathers on her armor, corrupted by TWSITD to the point she’s associated with the Devil Arcana which also suggests she becomes like them, and running amuck like the Boar Prince. All three poisons, and she's the one robbing people of their humanity in order to create "war assets."

Overcoming attachment is the Silver Snow route, where Byleth doesn’t let that attachment cloud their judgement. Not only that, the remedy for attachment is meant to be generosity. We got the Eagles leaving their homes and families behind rather than serve Edelgard, Ferdinand and Dorothea helping those close to them flee the Empire, Caspar and Petra fighting back against the Empire, and Dorothea travels Fodlan helping people. They stop being the Black Eagles, they leave the animal path behind, and instead fight as part of the Resistance army. They remain spiritually human, just like Byleth does.

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dharlesblog · 22 days

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Ringu Blog Post

Ringu is the first film we have viewed in this class that has had a sizable horror element present. Honestly, going into the film, I was expecting way more horror just from what I know about it from pop culture references. However, Ringu presented itself as way more of a mystery and psychological horror film than I had initially anticipated. Rather than have the characters cower in fear from the VHS that they watched that caused them to become cursed, the characters work towards understanding the cause of the phenomenon, the people involved, and how the curse itself is able to function.

On a basic level, the curse functions as a post-mortem revenge system created from the rage and hatred of the young girl pictured in all the promotional material for the film Sadako. Sadako’s mother, Shizuko, she had supernatural ESP abilities allowing her to predict the near future among other things. I found the primary scene with Shizuko being one of the most interesting scenes of Ringu. It begins with Shizuko being brought by a doctor looking to make himself famous by discovering her, and Shizuko displays her supernatural abilities in front of representatives of the medical community. However, as a commentary on human nature, the doctors shun Shizuko’s abilities because of their closed-mindedness and inability to accept what is different from them. Ringu tackling such a relatable problem for many people caused me to see the film in a more modern light and it has something to say about today’s world as well.

These negative emotions cause Sadako to act out and kill one of these medical professionals, which gets Shizuko in bigger trouble and labeled as a freak. I expected Ringu to deal with the idea of a true monster in a more supernatural way, like Shizuko is just a supernaturally evil force. However, Ringu disregarded by expectations and made Sadako a more relatable character yet misguided character that has had heaps of tragedy thrown upon, including the actions that led to her death. While you do feel sympathy for how Shizuko and Sadako have been treated, the audience is not meant to be entirely on the side of Sadako’s actions either. This is primarily because while she is out to release her anger upon those who have wronged her, most of the people that get killed by her in the film are completely unaffiliated with the people that shunned her mother. Therefore, it has an interesting take on victimization and blind rage, as though it can seemingly be justified by the inflictor, it does not accomplish anything in the end. The investigation to find the backstory of Sadako and understand her was a direction I did not expect the film to take but I found it to be very refreshing and made it more rewatchable overall.

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chaoticgoodlawyerwrites · 1 year

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DYK Chapter 28 Preview

Hey folks! Drafting on chapter 28 is coming along! I hope you enjoy this (unbeta'd) snippet!

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A ke and a few Peaks over, Luo Binghe found himself standing next to his sister to the entrance of the Sect’s makeshift prison. Ning Yingying had been all too happy to show him to Yue Qingyuan’s cell, apparently supervising his visits having become one of her hobbies the past few months. She had a class to teach in half a shichen, but she had been more than happy to make the trip with him.

She’d been waiting for this moment just as long as he had. Ning Yingying had done her utmost to ensure that this would be Yue Qingyuan’s end, and was finally reaping the rewards of her work for her own satisfaction (rather than Shen Qingqiu and the Sect’s safety). She, of course, also used their travel time to catch up with him a bit, but Yingying saw no reason to hide her malicious glee at the thought of Yue Qingyuan suffering.

He had hurt the man who had sheltered, protected, and raised them to the point in their lives now. And that was unforgivable.

“This way, A-Luo,” she said cheerfully when they arrived. It was a small, unnamed, and often forgotten place in the Sect. Rarely did they need to house people who caused the Sect harm; they were usually either exiled or killed immediately. And Yue Qingyuan was a special case.

Luo Binghe sensed the layers of wards and arrays in and around the stone entranceway, no doubt the work of Zhao Qingchen. He wasn’t anywhere near as well versed in containment arrays as Shen Yuan, but he recognized the feel of them. Ning Yingying bit her finger and drew a temporary release symbol where the wards began. It dropped, they stepped over the threshold, and it came up barely five seconds behind them.

Binghe was impressed and Ning Yingying saw it on his face. “Yes, amazing, isn’t it. Turns out, Zhao-shigu was not pleased to have the Sect Leader, who valued her both for her expertise and a person despite her gender, attacked by the one who previously treated her with perfunctory, perfect politeness. Mother and Qi-shigu also had their own ideas.”

Luo Binghe hummed in agreement. “Mother is good like that.”

“Yes! Wish I could have met her under better circumstances however. She’s amazing!”

“She told me her side of the story. You made a good impression on her and she doesn’t like a lot of people.”

That made Ning Yingying beam at him and it warmed him to see it.

It was good to be back.

They approached the lone door at the end of a series of corridors, apparently different cells with ancient magic working into them. Zhao Qingchen had reinforced the wards in Yue Qingyuan’s cell, creating a division in the floor between the door and the rest of the area so he could have visitors. To unlock the door, Ning Yingying took out a complicated talisman and pressed it to the door.

Stone with a few holes drilled into it for air slid aside after a moment. A somewhat large cave was revealed, qi-powered light ensuring that everything was visible. Yue Qingyuan, sitting in a meditative position in the middle of the floor on a pillow, looked at them as they came in. He seemed mostly well kept, just very much confined.

Binghe knew that his cultivation was not stifled so he could practice inedia in here, with water mostly provided for drinking and bathing. The cell was clean, with a cot and blankets for sleeping, cushions to sit on, and a stack of books off to the side.

Honestly, much better conditions than Luo Binghe expected for someone who kidnapped the Sect Leader, but he supposed that being the previous Sect Leader had some perks. He’d ask Ning Yingying about it later.

Maybe they could get him transferred to the prisons in the imperial palace sooner rather than later. Those accommodations seemed more appropriate.

“Luo Binghe,” he said, voice raspy with disuse. The hatred came through loud and clear, however.

“Yue Qi,” he responded. He was no longer a Peak Lord of Cang Qiong Sect. While his courtesy name would likely be stripped as part of his punishment, it felt appropriate to call him by his birth name if he would do the same. The other man knew Binghe’s proper title; his refusal to use it opened the door for him to strip him of the last honor he had.

“What do you want?”

“From you? Nothing. Not that you could give me anything.”

“Then why are you here? To gloat?”

The tone was calm, but it was fraying at the edges, giving way to anger. Luo Binghe leaned against the wall and crossed his arms casually. “Why bother? You already know I have everything you wanted. Gloating would be a waste of breath. And, as my husband said to me when we discussed my visit, you really aren’t worth it.”

That made the other man flinch and that was fun. He flicked his eyes to Ning Yingying but then looked at Luo Binghe again. “Then do what you want and be on your way.”

“You’re going to be tried in demonic court for crimes against the imperial family. My father will preside, and you will be sentenced to death. You will then be given a sword, and I will kill you in front of a crowd. My husband promised me that honor the night you attempted to have Madam Meiyin reveal his fate, having been hurt too much by you to even consider your continued existence.”

Yue Qi’s face went back to neutrality. “And what’s stopping me from self-destructing before that point?”

Luo Binghe raised his eyebrows. “The same reason you have not done so already. You wait everyday for a particular visitor, don’t you? You wait for him, as he once waited for you. If you die, then you’ll truly never see him again.”

It was cruel, and he saw that his blow struck true. His face did not move, but his eyes… the guilt, the regret, the brokenness was a balm to his soul to see.

Time to close out strong.

“But, you see, you’ve hurt my Qingqiu too much. You’ve given him nightmares and stress, trauma that he is healing from. And, assuming from your broken soulbond, I supposed that wasn’t so far out of the ordinary. No, my Consort will not come visit you. But he will be attending both your trial and execution as both were his ideas.

“The only thing he wants from you right now is to die in front of him. However, I have something to offer you, a bit of incentive to actually survive long enough to fight me.”

Yue Qi looked at him, hatred beginning to bleed back into his eyes, lip snarling as he said, “Why should I believe anything you say?”

“Because the truth will hurt you most, and I want you to suffer,” Luo Binghe said easily, letting his power leak out a bit more so that his eyes glowed red. “And, just to make sure you don’t just self-destruct or stab yourself the second you get a sword in your hand, I can offer you a boon to fight me truly. Something only I can offer you and you want.”

Yue Qi stared at him, contemptuous. “And what is that?”

“If you give me an honest fight, I’ll tell you how Shen Qingqiu immediately believed the other Luo Binghe was married to another version of himself. The thing he would only ever share with the person he loved more than life. A secret, a part of him he never trusted you with, and never will.”

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movedtoferinehuntress · 7 months

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Alright. *stretches fingers and cracks knuckles ready to type* Let's do this.

I cannot understate how much your Caitlyn portrayal influenced how I see that character in the show. Obviously, I never hated Caitlyn, nor did I hate Caitlyn x Vi as a ship, but it was never something I paid much mind to. Indifference is probably the best term to describe how I was feeling originally about Caitlyn. And then you showed up - and bashed that indifference into a million pieces!

Your Caitlyn is so nuanced. I love how you looked at Piltover and instead of shying away from the challenge in showing Piltover screws up not just the lower class, but the higher one as well, you dove right in and created what I honestly consider to be my Piltover. Even if I may not say it, I feel that a lot of how Vi regards Piltover and feels about it, comes from what you made. I love how you made this city so much more than just a force of oppression and how you find all those little elements, which enrichen it and make it feel like a lived-in place instead of a boogyman.

And then your Caitlyn looks at all of this and more or less spits into its face. XD I love how much your Caitlyn tries to defy Piltover's rigid social etiquettes, yet at the same time, she is still so clearly from Piltover and has an identity which goes back to the Kiramman household. I love how you can tell Grayson influenced her moral compass, but also didn't completely overturn what Cassandra taught Caitlyn.

I love how your Caitlyn never feels like a pushover. She has all those caring and soft traits, all this love and compassion, and yet you still allow her to kick ass! She can keep up with both Jinx and Vi and she is not afraid to arm herself, whether that be with her words or her rifle. I genuinely feel like you made Caitlyn a figure of authority, you have to take seriously. She is honestly the perfect adversary for Jinx and I am 100% sure, this nuanced rivalry would not work if you weren't the one, handling Caitlyn.

At the same time, you made me fall in love with Caitlyn and Vi's dynamic. Without you, I wouldn't care nearly as deeply for this ship. Like I know Caitlyn is important for Vi and Vi loves her, but your Caitlyn really makes me feel like I am actually writing someone who is genuinely in love and would do anything for that person. The way these two click is still so mindboggling to me. We didn't even plan for it and it just happened.

You have a wonderful imagination. I adore your lore, I adore your AU version of Caitlyn. I adore listening to you talk about Piltover or Caitlyn and what you made up or noticed. I adore that you share the same passion for not just writing but worldbuilding and that you are not afraid to share that passion. Your Caitlyn feels so unique as a result. Some part of me wishes she was actually canon.

☾ * ―― 「 @misstantabismuses 」 ≣ ASK MEME : HOW’S MY PORTRAYAL? = ❝ * send anonymously or not. feedback is appreciated! ❞

OH MY GOD!

I literally, I don't know where to start with this. I'm literally just, my heart, I'm balling and just, this is… AHHH!

I think right now all I can do is scream and hold this ask cause it makes me so so happy. and I don't know if I am even able to explain HOW happy I am to read this.

Okay, get my brain to pause on the Dopamine high I'm getting XD

I really am so glad that I could let you see Caitlyn in a whole new light. I think that's probably something that happens with a lot of people. The indifference or hatred (you don't do that but like, you've heard me talk a lot about it from things I found and how people hate on caitlyn and want jinx to kill her). But just, I love that I could let you see a whole different side to her, to see Caitlyn not as an extension of a romance (which I do love cait x vi) but just, getting to see Caitlyn as her own person.

Honestly, your entire worldbuilding of Zaun and all that goes into it has been my leading inspiration to really build on Piltover! I really wanted to get into how Piltover is so much, oppressive but also, its a city of its own culture too! and how Zaun and Piltover are mirror differences yet so interconnected that despite all their struggles you really can't have one without the other. And digging into these mask that Piltover has, that they are just as monstrous as Zaun yet they try to paint it in a way they they are more civilized. Yet if you look into the shadows you can see where they are just as dark. Just the concept of "who is the real monster?". But also the idea that despite all of this, there are still people who live here, thriving and just trying to survive. Things that make a city worthwhile from the festivities to the market places and that, yet there is corruption but there are still a living thriving people here. Just, a society!

and omg, I love that that is so visible. Caitlyn fighting back against the establishment, still has these influences on her (from her refine cultured way of talking even if she can be a bit blunt at times, or having to look like an elite and even playing the game of politics that she so desperately hates). Like its a part of her despite how much she fights against it (just like vi fights against her zaun culture!). Just, yes!!! So much of this, I want her to clearly show she hates the corruption in the city but it has shaped her into who she is as well.

The whole dynamic with Jinx has been such a joy to entertain because it hasn't felt boring or the same ol same ol. Like, I love that your jinx is ultimately Caitlyn's Moriarty. They are equally matched in brains and their skills with weaponry. an dhow they both fight against each other because they are each others ultimate nemesis. And how, in many ways, Jinx's actions often dictate how Caitlyn reacts. Like that idea (I haven't written up yet) how Caitlyn is going to upgrade her rifle to have different functions from the net gun to electric paralysis bullets. And How Jinx in her own way starts to adapt and try to fight back against Caitlyn due to her actions. Just this constant pull and push between the two of them and yet the hatred never fades. The both see red against each other.

And vi's dynamic with Caitlyn, holy shit, I never expected such a click with them. I really love how they have these dark and dangerous moments, how they are a power couple force to be reckon with, and yet they have these tender soft moments that are uniquely theirs. Others might not get it, but to them its just so nature and tender. And I love how their love is not just instant 'soulmate' status, how they grew together based on their events in the undercity to their struggles in Piltover against the council. And how all of this just bonds them together more. Its a slow but beautiful development of two people who "shouldn't work" in the eyes of society and yet they do and they do so beautifully! I literally can't get over their story we've created!

Honestly, you have been such an inspiration and an encouragement to really dig even deeper into my world building and headcanons, to really dig more into Caitlyn; keeping to what we see in Canon but absolutely crafting this Caitlyn that is solely mine and mine alone. and the fact that you see all of this, that you can feel it and imagine it and that it all feels natural and real to the canon of the show. Just

AH!!! I have so much dopamine and I literally am so happy. this is what I wants, this is what I want to share <3

#[panda speaks] — positivity.#oh my heart #I'm saving this and just <333 #thank you so much <3 #shimmerbeasts

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nation-of-bros · 2 years

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Unforgivable

The entire western civilization has deeply failed in its much vaunted "humanistic values" and upheld "fundamental rights". As an unvaccinated person, I was effectively excluded from everything for a year like a lowest-class citizen who should only go to work, while vaccinated people were allowed to enjoy a completely normal life such as visiting restaurants and leisure facilities, participating in events, or simply going shopping. We unvaccinated ones were even forced to get tested EVERY DAY, deeply humiliating IN THE PRESENCE OF A WITNESS because the government obviously distrusted us too much.. Therefore, working people had to queue up at the test center every day after 8 or more hours of work to have a 24-hour test done so that they could use public transport and enter their workplace timely the next day.

And if all this wasn't bad enough, those who had not been vaccinated were constantly insulted by hysterical vaccinated sheep as "non-solidarity assholes", as a "general danger to society"; since, the mainstream media has never given its sheep the opportunity to question anything, instead continuously broadcasting fears of viruses that have always been there, but nobody realized until then to present the rescue at the same time, the morally unavoidable vaccinations. Critics were systematically denigrated by the media, even if they were not conspiracy theorists but high-ranking physicians. Anyone who did not share their opinion of a vaccinated world was simply declared a crazy nutcase.

All of this behavior, all of the measures done are absolutely unforgivable, which is why the evil part of me has incredible hatred for these sheep and finds their creeping demise a great relief. That's the truth I feel deep inside.

The Real Reason

All of these measures were not for protection, because it had long been obvious that vaccinations do not protect against the spread of any flu viruses such as Corona, but to create an indirect compulsion to be vaccinated by terrorizing the own population on a daily basis: You only become a "full citizen" if you get shot regularly; implemented by expiring corona certificates that only grant civil rights for a limited period of time. In addition, "corona warning apps" should get the Western population used to permanent control based on the Chinese model, ideally in combination with a social rating system: You don't follow our rules? Ok, then you can no longer buy a ticket, you will not receive a loan, and you will be disadvantaged when looking for a job! This is the wet dream of western elites to keep their mentally and physically degenerate population docile as slaves for consumption and work. China is their test lab with 1.4 billion drones as guinea pigs.

The Enforced Agenda

Furthermore, the western population is extremely aging; fewer and fewer young people have to support more older people. To get this problem under control, the vaccinations primarily serve to reduce the general life expectancy sharply, so that citizens ideally die shortly before reaching retirement age. With each shot, the probability of dying prematurely increases. The vaccinations are also intended to minimize general fertility to gradually reduce the world population as a whole, in the sense of a New World Order, which Western elites have been striving for over 50 years. The Georgia Guidestones testified to this plan. And it must be admitted that in every western country this agenda has been more or less implemented.

The Hidden Causer

They call themselves Bilderbergers, meet every year in complete isolation from the public and invite high-ranking politicians and business leaders to brief them. They lead organizations like the Trilateral Commission or the World Economic Forum, in which all governments of the world participate. They promote their agenda through their NGOs around the world, backed by the mainstream media that they control. The colorful variety of media presented to us is a mere illusion of them, since behind most brand names, there are only a few large corporations owned by them.

And we can be absolutely certain that none of them are vaccinated. Bill Gates, who has been campaigning for vaccinations for many years through his foundation, will also not be treated himself with those vaccines from which millions of people worldwide suffer today, often without knowing this. Yet he constantly advocates the vaccination of entire humanity, backed by the World Health Organization effectively controlled through the many donations from companies in which his foundation owns significant shares. Therefore, we do not need to be surprised if the WHO lowered the definition of a pandemic long before "COVID-19" in the course of the swine flu as the first major test run, so that suddenly every annual flu wave can be classified as a pandemic, if they want to.

The Long Advance Planning

At the same time, they founded amateurishly managed companies like BioNTech from scratch, which, supported by the corrupt local authorities and governments, quickly went from completely insignificant small companies to the richest listed stock corporations. The sole purpose of companies like BioNTech was to come up with a believable story for inventing new vaccines, and create corporations as separate legal entities that own the patent rights and take any responsibility away from the minds behind them.

Many years earlier, in America, experiments were being carried out with mRNA on humans, with thousands of dead people; for in the next 10 years most of the test subjects perished from the side effects of the treatment that are surprisingly familiar to us today: heart failure in young men, menstrual problems in women, strokes from thrombosis and cancerous growths of all kinds.

In Germany there is the doctor Winfried Stöcker, who developed an alternative vaccine against corona, which is not based on mRNA technology, but solely contains individual proteins of the virus. All of his requests to the authorities for approval of clinical trials were denied, so he ended up testing the vaccine on himself and several dozen volunteers. He was then charged with illicit medical experiments on humans. This seems absurd when the same authorities forced their own citizens to use a questionable gene therapy with a completely experimental vaccine from an "emergency license".

Stöcker also never had an interest in holding the patent right to his vaccine. However, his "Linux among the vaccines" never found the necessary political support. It is therefore more than obvious that the governments controlled by the global pharmaceutical companies have never had an interest in alternative vaccines, which is also reflected in the fact that they didn't give up their patents on the vaccines. If we actually experienced a real pandemic, all patent rights on the vaccines would have been suspended immediately out of necessity by the state. That this never happened shows that there was no serious biological threat.

The truth is, it was never about fighting a pandemic in real terms, but about ruthless profit at the expense of world health, as well as an unrestrained redistribution of wealth from bottom to top through the coercive measures taken, so that the few rich became even richer. Ultimately, it was about gaining absolute control. Also, only very specific vaccines should be administered where, based on the extreme side effects, we can suspect with what purpose; because it has long since come to light that the manufacturers of the mRNA vaccines knew from the beginning about the ineffectiveness and the extreme side effects. The German Minister of Health, Karl Lauterbach, confirmed this in an interview long before he took office. And his predecessor, Jens Spahn, passed a law in the first few weeks of the "pandemic", when vaccinations were not even mentioned, excluding any liability claims against the responsible pharmaceutical companies for damage to health caused by their vaccines.

The liability was shifted from the pharmaceutical companies to the state, the taxpayer. As a consequence, people who wanted to be vaccinated had to sign first that they had been informed of all the risks, ceding any claims. This has never happened before in history! And the crazy thing is, people did it without asking questions or seriously worrying! Rather, the masses obediently did what the government said and in this way forced the rest to participate or get disenfranchised.

However, that madness was planned and implemented consciously, since they firmly expected that many people would become seriously ill or even die as a result of the vaccinations. Many years earlier, the EU formulated internal papers that spoke of a general population decline of up to 80% "in the course of a possible pandemic". But this will certainly not be the result of flu viruses like Corona!

#politics #corona #essay

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skylerscull1 · 2 years

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About That (One Of Us Is Lying) - Simon Kelleher Analysis

One thing about the differences between the original book and the tv show edition of “One Of Us Is Lying” that I particularly like is how they portray the characters connections to one another. In my mind, I’m seeing Maeve, Simon and Janae hanging out making the About That posts together. I particularly like Simon as a character, such a sad fate for a 17 year old boy, he may only be featured in the first chapter of the book in which he dies, but he makes a lasting impression and a great impact. Especially since the entire book is essentially the investigation into his supposed murder.

Spoiler Alert!!

Simon was really clever, and particularly spiteful, in some ways he reminds me of myself. Either way, it’s unfortunate what happened to him, he sure does know how to create drama though. To plan his own death to such details that it looks like a murder and he almost takes down four other students with him? He puts so much effort into planning his death, framing the four students for his murder, and even roping in two of his friends into the plan to make sure everything goes the way he wants it to. Honestly, I imagine he would be a Slytherin, though I could equally imagine him as a Gryffindor or a Ravenclaw.

Simon was a clever guy, spiteful, depressed, and yet he was ambitious, a go-big-or-go-home kind of guy. He isn’t afraid to take chances or take ricks, to tear down obstacles that are in his way, to do what has to be done. He makes connections when he can, he is smart, top of his class. Simon also does his research, he thinks things through, plans things out to a T, he isn’t the type to make up rumors if he can help it, though he isn’t afraid to lie and manipulate or make things up if it benefits him or a friend. He’s the kind of person that’s more than just the outsider and the outcast, he’s a lone-wolf that wants nothing more than to belong, to fit in and have the respect of others. If he can’t get that? Then he’ll settle for being feared, for being hated.

Simon couldn’t stand being a nobody, being left behind, watching the hypocrites walk by, being continuously pushed aside. He’s the kind of guy that wanted everyone who pushed him aside to suffer like he did. He wasn’t a hero, he ruined lives for a living by exposing their deepest darkest secrets, he exposed people for who they really were behind the lies. He made sure people got what they deserved, in some ways he could be seen as doing a public service, at least that’s how he sees it.

Simon wasn’t a good person, not by a long-shot, that only makes it that much more unfortunate when it’s revealed he manufactured everything from the very beginning, that he killed himself and framed those four students, and he did all of this just to ruin the lives of the four students he hated the most. It was petty, he hated his life so much, wanted to fit in so desperately that when nothing he did worked he went as far as to kill himself and frame it as a murder just to make an impact.

Overall, it’s a great twist that was revealed in the end: the murdered kid who happened to be the most hated kid in that school - wasn’t actually murdered, he killed himself and made it look like a murder. Good job, Simon - everything almost went perfectly with how you planned it. What you did took guts, I have no doubts you’d do whatever it takes to get what you want. Simon doesn’t care about his own life, all he cares about is taking people down with him. It isn’t honorable, but it’s understandable. Who doesn’t find themselves angry and spiteful every once in a while? Hatred and spite festers like a disease in your bones, spreading through your cells, fogging your mind until all you see is that. It’s hard to be happy when you feel so much hate, he couldn’t genuinely enjoy himself, he spent a good portion of his school life tearing other peoples lives into pieces because his life was already horrible.

Tell me, what are your thoughts? Does that surprise you any?

#one of us is lying #simon kelleher #character development #character headcanon #character analysis #info dump #oouil

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themiserymarquis · 10 months

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Round 2 Blind Date Losers

Here we go again! I ain’t gonna be able to draw all of them. Have some more blurbs under the cut. Round 3 soon. Ask me questions about any of them if you’re curious! Remember also to send more questions so I can have some to choose from!

1 - Heiko Masayoshi - Code MORATORIUM - Under Observation. One of the two AUs of her that I’ve placed in the tournament, though she is very similar to her other counterpart. She’s a lot happier here, without as much forced brainwashing and emotional suppression. Her ability is to provide a sort of assisted abstinence for someone, whether they wish to perform a certain action or not. This requires precise wording, similar to how a legal team would draft a contract. Her ability is being studied, as her breath contains unique fungal spores due to the parasite that has bonded to her that can potentially be synthesized to create an effective drug to combat withdrawal symptoms from drug addiction. Original Universe, Blight.

2 - Navel “Nav” Aurembiax - Engineering Speciality (Orange Crewmate). One of my citrus-named OCs, Nav is just a poor guy that wishes that she could be a lesbian in peace without her crush being an alien that wants to literally eat her. Please. This explains why she doesn’t like the color blue. Among Us.

3 - Rhys Moor - Bovine Enforcer of the Frisco Territory. As a Cow Puncher that classed-up into a Bovine Enforcer due to her burning hatred of cattle, she has a kill count that’s racked up HIIIIIGH from all the hellcattle that she’s sent to rest. She wields silver plated weapons, which consist of a pickaxe and an axe- one to hold something in place, and the other to slash wildly with. Fun fact! She just went up against an alternate version of herself! West of Loathing.

4 - ??? - Sorry. Can’t reveal anything here. Maybe you can do some detective work? Shadows Before Loathing.

5 - Belladonica Fiore - Ossidiana Sanguigna, Grade 3 Fixer of Saturn Office. She’s a hot lady who sings opera and wields a giant axe made of an obsidian-like material that gets stronger the more blood it’s in contact with. It’s designed to shatter into a million pieces and reform itself once it draws enough blood. A hot temper, even dreamier voice. You just need to endure her long enough when she’s not on stage ;) Project Moon

6 - Chisako Takahara - Last Kin of the Takahara Clan, Holding a Remnant of Her Mother. Due to the recent war that’s taken place, due to greed, insolence, and foolhardiness, the entire main branch of the Takahara Clan has been wiped out, besides a single daughter who’s run away from those troubles before it happened. Her mother died in anguish and anger, and was exorcised before she could do any harm. A fragment of her spirit nestled into her daughter, whose hair soon grew white instead of dark blue, and a simmering anger brewed beneath her lid. No amount of punishment for acting unladylike could crush her spirit, and soon she was bestowed an honor from the region’s god, so that no one could really scold her too much after that. Still, she wanted to run away, and so she did. Now, in the rubble of the family she’s hated so much, Chisako has to think about the responsibility she has for the welfare of the people.

7 - Kiyoshi Kawai - Grade 4 Fixer of Trim Office, Tailor. The Office he belongs to is affiliated with the Shi Association, of which deals in assassinations. While he sometimes takes part in the Shi jobs, he deals with cleanup, disassembling bodies until they become nothing but the contracted parts by turning them into thread. Of course, this is only if the material is of fine enough quality and permission is granted. Though, he keeps this skill hidden because human silk Tailors are often to be poached. Otherwise, there’s some other work that’s significantly riskier but far more profitable; rescuing a civilian who has gotten caught out in the Backstreets at Night. Hundreds of thousands of Sweepers clean the streets in these few hours and their numbers are nothing to gawk at! Yet, because of his manifested blade that can cut through any flesh it touches, these Sweepers are cut down to become more cloth for this Tailor. Project Moon.

8 - Paul - VIOLENCE QUOTIENT. Sinner of Limbus Company. Paul, Paul, Paul. I’m actually surprised he lasted this long. He’s inspired by a character of the same name in a manhwa called “Unhinged,” and I’m very sad that season 2 isn’t licensed in English. Much of his backstory stays the same from his source material only because so little needs to change in order to fit into Project Moon. He’s nervous, paranoid, and believes that any sudden movement towards him is a threat to die. He’s been conditioned to believe that it’s kill or be killed and he must strike first, since it’s the only way to live. Being locked in a dirty room for a long time with only the company of the people sent inside to kill him, he’s needed to resort to consuming the corpses of those unfortunate souls. He’s done it before. He’ll do it again if it’s necessary.

#Miserie OC Blind Date Tourney #MOBDT Round 2 #more info about characters do doooo do doo doo doo #again ask me questions abt them if you want!#Heiko masayoshi #Navel aurembiax #Rhys Moor #Belladonica Fiore #Chisako takahara #Kiyoshi Kawai #Paul. Just Paul.

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ultraericthered · 2 years

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Speaking of Lily Orchard bullshit, this is PEAK Lily Orchard bullshit.

Tragic backstories are a way to guilt you for wanting to kill a villain, because killing villain = bad. It’s part of the way so many storytellers are so ideologically stagnant and passively support abusers over victims. Many villains are abuse victims turned abusers because every male writer thinks they’re the first person to come up with that.

Uuuuh, what now? Plenty of villains with tragic backstories have, in fact, been killed in the end. That statement about “so many storytellers” makes no sense and comes with not a shred of evidence to back up the claim, and that generalizing about “male writers”???

What many people consider “morally complex villains” tend to just be heroic people filtered through the lens of lazy centrism.

OR, hear me out here, they could be morally complex leaning-towards-bad people whose actions cannot be judged as anything but “villainous”, filtered through the lens of basic centrism, ethical standards and principles, and common sense morality that most decent people, regardless of whatever their differences, live by.

Oftentimes they just take something objectively good and shovel some pure evil villainy onto it. Almost every “morally complex villain” is just “We want to fight against systems of oppression and lift up the second class citizens… we will achieve this by boiling kittens in lava.” It’s not compelling, it’s just how a writer supports authoritarian regime without just coming out and saying “I simp for facsism.”

Oh no, it’s that “Marvel Villain” argument again. If boiling kittens in lava was a legitimate, actually working means towards dismantling an oppressive system and toppling a regime, people like Lily here would absolutely be gung-ho for kitten boiling. The ethical dilemma and hideous, heinous nature of the thing would mean nothing against such “eye on the prize” mentality - it’s all about the results they personally want, not however many innocents might get seriously hurt or worse in the proccess. It’s all heart with no mind or soul.

These people aren’t morally complex villains. They’re heroic people having villainy shoved onto them BY real life villains.

So is she referring to the fictional characters as “heroic people” and the real people creating them and writing their stories as “real life villains?” Is that really what she’s trying to suggest here?

RWBY did this, Steven Universe did this, Legend of Korra did this, those shows could not simp for the status quo any harder if they fucking tried.

Except for all the times they changed or modified the status quo, making gradual progress in working towards a better future? Got it.

That’s the con at play here. You see a protest, the people in power said “It’s a riot” and you believed them.

Sometimes it’s a riot. Othertimes it’s aggressive activism and open rebellion. And othertimes still, it’s terrorism. That last one is evil, btw.

That throughline doesn’t work without the centrist/conservative viewpoint. It’s why “morally complex villains” don’t appeal to me in the slightest. Because I know why they were written this way.

Wow, Lily’s veered so far Left that she now lumps centrism and conservatism together even though they are quite different things. The idea behind a complex villain is that it’s meant to be acessible and understandable to anyone living the human experience while also showing where and how one might step wrong. Cautionary tales work best when the damned character is identifiably human, like us.

I can’t look at the Equalists and see anything but Bryke venting their anger about those entitled Occupy Wall Street kids. I can’t look at Villain Sylvanas and see anything but Alex Afrasaibi projecting his extreme and well documented hatred of women onto a character he’s been wanting to make into a villain for a long time and couldn’t until Chris Metzen retired.

Well I can, but if you can’t then that’s on you. :P

This wasn’t a somber tale of the victim becoming the abuser. This was a real abuser villainizing his real victims through a character he had hated for a very long time. That’s what this shit is. That’s what it has always been. It was never smart, it was just abusive rhetoric caked through layers of irony and navel gazing. Abusers said “Our victims will become evil people for seeking retribution” and a bunch of people just took them at their word.

Blah blah blah blah BLAH, this is what I’ve heard said about a lot of villains (who Lily would probably hate as well, ironically) - heard this about Rumpelstiltskin, heard it about Kylo Ren, heard it about Prince Lotor, heard it about Billy Hargrove, heard it about Simon Laurent, heard it about Grant Ward, I’m just so fucking sick of it at this point.

We’ve long since pulled back the curtain and revealed the lie of “complex villains.”

No. No we have not. This is your self-important delusions speaking.

Some irony-poisoned weirdo will go “Some villains think they’re saving the world” yeah, every fucking tyrant thinks they’re the real hero, that doesn’t mean it’s true.

And that’s often the whole purpose behind the complex villain. That you can appreciate their complexity as a fictional character while also seeing what condemns such a character “as a person” in terms of their unjustifiable behavioral problems and reprehensible actions. It doesn’t mean we have to sympathize with, like, or “enjoy” such evildoers in real life, or that we’re being taught to do so in any way. If you grow up right into a properly functioning, thinking, reasoning adult, you’re able to separate fiction from reality in order to do this. But sadly, Lily didn’t. so she doesn’t.

The Nazis thought they were saving the world, but you’re not supposed to believe them when they tell you that. They were a bunch of egotistical losers, blaming all their failures on the Jews.

Godwin’s Law! There it is! Lily definitively fails, and this is in addition to missing that we’re not supposed to believe in what most of the villains she whines about say - only believe that they believe it.

Evil isn’t complex. It’s banal.

This is true. What’s also true is that human beings are complex, and thus what draws human beings towards evil is complex.

Unless you are the kind of person who sides with that evil and need to convince others that evil looks different. Evil’s justifications are fake. Their goals are lies, their excuses weak, and their tragic backstories insignificant, and if you believed any of them… you’re a fool.

Y’know, it really fits that she is saying this directly to her followers.

#villains #criticism #morality #evil #entitled #insanity #stupidity #misaimed fandom #completely missing the point #anti lily orchard

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the-library-alcove · 3 years

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So a while back, a fairly left-wing friend of mine was shocked at the thought of Left-Wing Holocaust Denial, asking how it could even be possible, how can the Left even deny the Holocaust given everything (quote: "why would the LEFT be in denial? After you read Elie Wiesel, you can't deny any of it. Same with Maus, Frieda Appleman-Jurman's memoirs, and all that. Also, Lois Lowry won a Newberry medal for Number the Stars"). So I've been chewing on this for a while now.

First, Right-Wing Holocaust Denial is straight up "denial that the Holocaust happened"--often with an undertone of "But we wish that it had and it was a great idea". They deny the number of deaths, or excuse the Nazis, or say that the Jews had it coming, or say that it didn't happen at all, that sort of thing. It's a very blunt, straightforward form of denial.

Comparatively, Left-Wing Holocaust Denial takes a different, more sophisticated form that functions on multiple levels--with an undertone of its own along the lines of "the Jews are exaggerating to try to portray themselves as victims"--and to talk about this form of denial, I have to explain what the Holocaust was.

So this gets a bit long, because what is being denied is long, but I will ask you to bear with me.

But, TL:DR:

Right Wing Holocaust Denial denies the body count and the atrocities...

Left Wing Holocaust Denial denies everything that built up to it, the centuries of Othering and murders, and the aftereffects.

The Holocaust, 1939-1945, was the culmination of literally centuries of anti-Jewish hatred from Christian Europeans, dating back well over a thousand years.

For one example, there were anti-Jewish riots in France in the 1020s in misplaced vengeance for the Islamic destruction of the Church of the Holy Sepulcher in 1009 CE. Decades later, the Crusaders butchered 99% of the Jewish population of northern Europe, beginning in 1096 and continuing for centuries, such that a population of nearly 100,000 in 1050 CE was reduced down to less than a thousand in 1350 CE, as genetic studies show.

Jews were vilified as "Enemies of Christ", and various forms of attack to whip up mobs against Jews became common enough to get names of their own: Blood Libel (the accusation of Jews stealing children and murdering them to use their blood) and Host Desecration (the accusation that Jews were stealing consecrated Hosts and "torturing" them in order to attack Jesus), among others. These resulted in thousands of Jews being attacked, harmed, killed, and expelled.

Pogroms, massacres, and expulsions were just part of the pattern; Jews were effectively second class citizens at best, confined to marginal parts of cities (the original ghettos), subject to ritual humiliation (there was a part of Carnival in Rome that featured "The Running Of The Jews" where the Jewish population of the city had to race and be beaten by the Christians and there are designed-to-be-humiliating carvings of Jews on churches), and so forth. Jews were the scapegoats of choice--a powerless minority made to do the dirty work (such as tax collection) by the powerful and then liquidated when the lower classes got upset, as a distraction (King: "It's not my fault you're hungry!" *motions to table laden with food* "It's the fault of those greedy Jews who I force to work as tax collectors! Go kill them instead of me!"). And that cycle further entrenched the hatred.

Martin Luther took this to new heights during the Reformation; initially, he was "nice", saying that the Christians should treat the Jews gently to get us to convert... and when we didn't, he got nasty, writing a book titled "On The Jews And Their Lies" where he outlined a "how to persecute Jews and make their lives utter hell so they'll convert" prescription of behavior.

And this all became deeply baked into the culture of Europe, in plays, architecture, pop culture, stories, and conspiracy theories over the centuries. Even after the ghetto walls were torn down in the early 1800s by Napoleon and Jews were allowed to integrate into mainstream society, that hatred did not go away. If anything, the resentment grew, culminating in outbursts like the Dreyfus Affair, where a French-Jewish artillery officer was made into the fall guy for another spy, because he was Jewish.

There was a "Jewish Question" in the countries of Europe. A political National Question that went, "What shall we do with these Jews who live in our lands who we do not want?" And many of the Jews desperately wanted to prove that they were Good Model Citizens, but it didn't matter. Some of us, seeing the writing on the wall, and that the Europeans would never accept us, started agitating for political separation and independence--Zionism.

During this time, the old religious-based hatreds were being ostensibly phased out, and it was the era of "scientific racism", so a new word was coined--"antisemitism", to replace the old "Judenhass", to sound more "scientific". More anti-Jewish accusations were created, such as the "Protocols Of The Elders Of Zion", which is a Russian-made forgery that is supposedly the record of a meeting of Jewish elders in their master plan to control the world; it was written to distract hatred away from the Czar and onto a scapegoat. (Essentially just an updated version of the kings' tactic of scapegoating the Jews from centuries earlier)

So the hatreds stayed, regardless of what new clothes they wore. After World War One, when the Nazis said that the blame for the loss and subsequent humiliation and economic collapse of the Weimar Republic was because of the "Jews stabbing us in the back", there was a massive population of people who were already primed to hate and resent Jews and just needed that excuse to focus that hatred. They passed laws that specifically stripped citizenship from the Jews on racial grounds, instituted blood purity laws--again, on racial grounds--and built up to the Holocaust, where the Jews were not seen as human, but as vermin, out to contaminate their pure race.

In the process, they killed nine out of ten Jews who lived in Europe. Their hatred to the point that they diverted efforts to fight the Allies just so that they could kill Jews. Local people hated Jews so much that they collaborated with their own conquerors, just so they could kill Jews. Because they hated us so much, had hated us for centuries. Their "Final Solution" to "The Jewish Question." This part is what the Right Wing denies.

And then, in the aftermath, nobody wanted the remaining victims. Literally, the British said, "We'll carve off part of our Empire to give to them rather than let them come here."

So, after centuries of hatred and marginalization, Europeans gave into their hatreds that they had been raised with and murdered us in our millions, and we were traumatized.

And some of us went to the USA--the few that the US was willing to take in--and many more, not having any other place to go, went to British Mandate Palestine with the hope of self-governance in the future Jewish territory... having learned that they could not trust non-Jews.

That is the Holocaust and what led up to it, and some of the aftermath of it.

Left Wing Holocaust Denial erases all of that, except for the Holocaust itself, which is taken out of context as a moral lesson.

The Left Wing Unofficial Narrative Of The Holocaust is that the Nazis arbitrarily picked several groups of fellow European Whites, the Jews being just one of them, agitated against them in order to make an Enemy, and then killed them in order to cement power. Thus, in this narrative, the Holocaust was thus an aberration brought about by demagoguery and propaganda. Thus, it is imperative to remember "Never Again", because it can happen to anyone.

According to this narrative, "Jews" are just White Europeans who practice a different Abrahamic Religion, and who played the aftermath of the genocide for undeserved sympathy points to get a colony of their own where they could become oppressors in turn, and that they are getting special treatment that ignores the other victims of the Holocaust.

In doing so, the Left needs to ignore...

...the racial aspects of the Holocaust and the decades and centuries before it--the blood purity laws, the specific "racial science" that Othered Jews, and so forth--in favor of a "Jews are White" narrative.

...that the Jews were specifically targeted by the Nazis for extermination, to the point of irrational, self-defeating fixation, whereas only the Roma were as targeted for complete eradication alongside the Jews--in favor of a "But what about the other victims too?" narrative.

...the Nazi obsession with hating Jews (which has not gone away) as a fundamental part of their ideology, and pretending that the Nazi hatred of Jews is no different than the eugenics and political oppression that other groups were victims of--again, in favor of a "Other people were victims of the Nazis too!" narrative.

...the centuries of hatred and victimization that preceded the Holocaust and culminated in it--in favor of a "Jews are just European White People" narrative.

...the trauma that happened when you've lost your homes, your families, your way of life, and your society, and nobody made any efforts to help you, and how it becomes apparent, after trying to fit in and integrate for decades, that you can be Perfect Citizens and the Christians will still hate you so we need to defend ourselves for our own sakes--in favor of a "Jews are oppressors and didn't learn the right lessons from the Holocaust" narrative.

So, TL;DR:

Right Wing Holocaust Denial denies the body count and the atrocities...

Left Wing Holocaust Denial denies everything that built up to it, the centuries of Othering and murders, and the aftereffects.

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astromaki · 3 years

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part 2 of 5000 $ - shoto todoroki x fem!reader (1597 words)

part 1. (previous)

tw ; minors dni, angst, nsfw, toxic relationship, mention of cheating and breakup, shoto is a complete bastard here

you finally did it.

you broke up with him a week ago. for real this time, not like the last hundred times you'd yelled at him that he was a heartless jerk. just so he could get you into bed the second you calmed down.

no, you threw him in the trash the day after that party. by message, but it was a start.

even your social media status had gone from 'in a relationship' to 'single <3', you'd even reinstalled tinder, and accepted follow requests on instagram from those boys in the same class as you in college.

and shoto seemed to have abandoned you too. no news from him, and you hadn't even run into him on campus in the last few days.

so why did it still hurt to think about him ? why did your lips refuse to say his name ? and why the fuck did your sheets still smell like him despite the many machines ?

so you could tell that you felt a little joy when you saw this message.

he had sent you this two days ago.

and it's been two days, you've been wondering if it was a good idea to see him again right away.

never mind, you were already at his door. besides, you didn't have to talk to him, just take back what belonged to you and go home. it couldn't go wrong ? right ? it's ridiculous, you even had to convince yourself now.

you knocked, once, twice, three times. you could hear someone inside. and you knew he didn't have a roommate. this rich kid could buy the whole building if he wanted.

fuck. you just had to go in and get your stuff, and it's like you were never there. he wouldn't notice you were there.

you opened the door, and were surprised to see a second pair of shoes at the entrance next to shoto's sneakers. which is more like a pair of rather feminine shoes, pumps.

a strange feeling made you shiver. it wasn't like you to track down your exes, but you don't remember seeing a new girl with shoto on social medias.

slight, imperceptible sighs escaped from his room a little further into the apartment. bed squeaks, that male growl you knew all too well.

fuck. fucking hell.

you knew what it was, you knew what those noises were, who was causing them. why he had asked you to come and get those so-called forgotten things.

and yet you still walked to his room, your brain screaming at you to turn around and stay away from that boy and his unmitigated evil. your heart telling you the opposite, to keep going to find out if he still cared about you. no matter how small, you wanted to know, you had to know, if you ever meant anything to him.

or if you were just a joke, that he could throw a little money around.

"shoto, fuck, yes, right there oh fuc-"

you felt tears welling up in your eyes when you finally saw shoto vulgarly fucking a girl in that room, where you used to spend all your evenings.

but that wasn't the worst part. it was that he had taken your best friend to bed, ochako.

"you're so fucking good, i -" he says in a low voice.

he had already created that crack in your heart. but now ?

his blue and gray eyes finally met yours, his gaze was nothing but arrogance and contempt. the only things he ever felt for you. and even though he was fucking your best friend, busy pacing back and forth, he had the nerve to look you up and down. a smirk lit up his face.

and that asshole finally said the three words he never disdained to say to you.

"i love you ochako," he finally said, looking you straight in the eye. you're the best sex i've ever had. "

his words were spoken clearly, slowly, so that they were articulate for you to hear. a mixture of anger, and sorrow suddenly overtook you

as if you had come back to reality, you suddenly left the room. your steps were disordered, you had lost all your balance, gravity seemed to be slightly stronger. your hands dropped some objects on your way.

what was wrong with you? why?

ochako had finally noticed you after her orgasm, and weakly called out your name, as if begging you to come back would make things better. that he was cheating on you was one thing, but with her ? the one who had pushed you to leave him?

you could hear heavy footsteps following you down the hallway to the front door. and a muscular hand grabbed your wrist to turn you around in one simple motion.

obviously, who else ?

"so you just walk into people's houses without knocking now?"

wow, how did he manage to make you hate him a little more every time he opened his mouth ?

"stop it. don't mess with me. you sent me a message to come in today to get my stuff." your voice was firm.

his face was as haughty as ever, yet he already seemed a little more natural and relaxed than the other times. you would have found it attractive if it wasn't after a romp with your best friend.

"ah, that's right. and so it's okay? you got everything? "

his deceptively kind voice made you want to scream. to take anything and throw it at him. he still had this annoying habit of driving you crazy even after you'd broken up. you wanted to hurt him like he'd been hurting you for months.

but your shaky, broken voice didn't reflect your desires. you were about to cry.

"i don't understand why? why you're being so mean to me. i'm not stupid, shoto, i know that you invited me here today just to see you fuck her."

his face hadn't changed, nor had his eyes. he was glaring at you miserably. as usual.

"i was hoping we could talk if i came to your door so we could maybe work things out, get off to a good start." and it's true, that message he sent you had falsely given you false hope. and you had fallen off the deep end.

a slight sigh escaped his lips. that slight sigh that made the cup overflow.

"why do you care ? we broke up, right ?"he said it in such a carefree tone.

"fuk you shoto. fuck you. you don't even realize how fucking toxic you are! you throw money around to get what you want, you fuck with people and play with their feelings! you're a fucking asshole. and you're a lot like your father for someone who hates him deeply. "

your words of hatred and anger that you had been building up for weeks, for fucking months, poured out on him like a lava flow.

it was mean, it was sincere, and it hurt shoto. it hurt him to see that he had done too much this tim.

his emotionless gaze watched you get angry, cry, push him, hit him, dry your tears that he couldn't tell if they were of melancholy or rage. he saw you push his hand away as he tried desperately to calm you down.

you couldn't see it, too busy screaming and drying your tears, but you managed to wring a sincere expression from shoto.

he was just panicking. he was panicking because he knew he had crossed the point of no return. that not even $5,000 or $10,000 or even $50,000 would bring you back.

his love, full of flaws, who never knew a healthy role model from his parents, would not be enough to make you stay. not to leave him alone.

because we know the cliché, the rich boy who didn't know how to love. didn't even know how to make the one person who always cared about his own selfish self, stay. but that was shoto though. he was that boy who only had toxic love to give.

but please don't leave him for good, he was begging you mentally.

if he had put his pride aside to express himself or even make you understand, maybe you wouldn't have left.

"i hate you shoto todoroki. i fucking hate you. but know that you'll end up alone, you and your stupid money. and i'll be the first to laugh. "

fuck fuck fuckfuckfuckfuck.

" i- y/n just wait- "

he didn't think you'd hate him so much. the young man knew he was just an asshole with a fat bank account. he just thought that by fucking your best friend he'd get you to come back to him, out of desperation, out of a desperate love.

he didn't think he would feel such a pressure on his chest when he saw you slam the door, leaving him alone in the apartment with your best friend and a big hole in his heart.

he didn't think he'd regret his actions. he was a rich guy who always wanted what he wanted, whether it was money or sex. so you were easy. right ?

he never imagined that he would miss your perfume, your exasperating smiles, that he would miss you.

you were barely gone, and he knew he would miss you.

a/n ; i've never written such a nasty shoto sorry 😟 kinda want to leave this story like this...

please lemme know what you thought about this second part, should i make a third one ? (+ reblogs are appreciated <3)

🔖 taglist; @deepestranchgoopdeputy @kizuatonoaiko

#bnha x reader #shoto todoroki x reader #todoroki x reader #todoroki x you #shoto todoroki x you #todoroki shoto x reader #shoto x y/n #shoto x you #shoto x reader #shoto todoroki angst #shoto smut #shoto torodoki #todoroki x y/n #todoroki shoto x you

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