you were raised in comparison.
it wasn't always obvious (well. except for the times that it was), but you internalized it young. you had to eat what you didn't like, other people are going hungry, and you should be grateful. you had to suck it up and walk on the twisted ankle, it wasn't broken, you were just being a baby. you were never actually suffering, people obviously had it worse than you did.
you had a roof over your head - imagine! with the way you behaved, with how you talked back to your parents? you're lucky they didn't kick you out on your ass. they had friends who had to deal with that. hell, you have friends who had to deal with that. and how dare you imply your father isn't there for you - just because he doesn't ever actually talk to you and just because he's completely emotionally checked out of your life doesn't mean you're not fucking lucky. think about your cousins, who don't even get to speak to their dad. so what if yours has a mean streak; is aggressive and rude. at least you have a father to be rude to you.
you really think you're hurting? you were raised in a home! you had access to clean water! you never so much as came close to experiencing a real problem. sure, okay. you have this "mental illness" thing, but teenagers are always depressed, right. it's a phase, you'll move on with your life.
what do you mean you feel burnt out at work. what do you mean you mean you never "formed healthy coping mechanisms?" we raised you better than that. you were supposed to just shoulder through things. to hold yourself to high expectations. "burning out" is for people with real jobs and real stress. burnout is for people who have sick kids and people who have high-paying jobs and people who are actually experiencing something difficult. recently you almost cried because you couldn't find your fucking car keys. you just have lost your sense of gratitude, and honestly, we're kind of hurt. we tell you we love you, isn't that enough? if you want us to stick around, you need to be better about proving it. you need to shut up about how your mental health is ruined.
it could be worse! what if you were actually experiencing executive dysfunction. if you were really actually sick, would you even be able to look at things on the internet about it? you just spend too much time on webMD. you just like to freak yourself out and feel like you belong to something. you just like playing the victim. this is always how you have been - you've always been so fucking dramatic. you have no idea how good you have it - you're too fucking sensitive.
you were like, maybe too good of a kid. unwilling to make a real fuss. and the whole time - the little points, the little validations - they went unnoticed. it isn't that you were looking for love, specifically - more like you'd just wanted any one person to actually listen. that was all you'd really need. you just needed to be witnessed. it wasn't that you couldn't withstand the burden, but you did want to know that anyone was watching. these days, you are so accustomed to the idea of comparison - you don't even think you belong in your own communities. someone always fits better than you do. you're always the outlier. they made these places safe, and then you go in, and you are just not... quite the same way that would actually-fit.
you watch the little white ocean of your numbness lap at your ankles. the tide has been coming in for a while, you need to do something about it. what you want to do is take a nap. what you want to do is develop some kind of time machine - it's not like you want your life to stop, not completely, but it would really nice if you could just get everything to freeze, just for a little while, just until you're finished resting. but at least you're not the worst you've been. at least you have anything. you're so fucking lucky. do you have any concept of the amount of global suffering?
a little ant dies at the side of your kitchen sink. you look at its strange chitinous body and think - if you could just somehow convince yourself it is enough, it will finally be enough and you can be happy. no changes will have to be made. you just need to remember what you could lose. what is still precious to you.
you can't stop staring at the ant. you could be an ant instead of a person, that is how lucky you are. it's just - you didn't know the name of the ant, did you. it's just - ants spend their whole life working, and never complain. never pull the car over to weep.
it's just - when it died, it curled up into a tight little ball.
something kind of uncomfortable: you do that when you sleep.
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house md is wild because house tells wilson that he’ll sacrifice many things but never himself and then he sacrifices himself for wilson. and then he sacrifices himself for wilson. and then he sacrifices himself for wilson. and then he
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Social transition being seen (by some) as this super easy thing that isn't as hard as real transitioning (medical) is bullshit. Be critical of the idea that there are some trans people who just "have it easy" because they are trans or because they are trans in ways you may not be.
Social transition is just as difficult, hard, and rewarding as medical transition. Maybe it is not as hard for some, sure, but that is not the same as thinking that social transition is inherently easier or lesser. If you're socially transitioning, your voice still matters.
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Accepting help: Tulin and the Champions
For all the problems I have with totk, one thing I love about it is the development of the sages, particularly Tulin.
His arc is about learning how to accept help from others, which is so interesting when compared to Revali, who was very isolated and had to be self reliant. Revali seemingly had no family or anyone else in his life to fall back on, and as a result he had to become the best possible version of himself as a warrior to make up for that. In BotW we see Revali go to EXTREME lengths to be the best warrior he can be.
A comparison could even be made between Revali and the rest of the Champions. What they all have in common is that they all died alone in their divine beasts. No one came to rescue them. Zelda and Link had each other, and that’s ultimately how they both managed to survive the calamity. The champions had only themselves to rely on in their final moments, and in the end it wasn’t enough.
But back to Tulin, his arc (and to a lesser extent the other Sages arcs are about this as well) is about accepting help from others. Tulin has his parents, Link and the other Sages to fall back on. Tulin wanted to prove that he was strong enough on his own, but eventually realised that his strength came from those around him. Tulin receives the Great Eagle Bow when he shows that he can be strong AND accept help when he needs it.
Even the new Sage’s powers are all designed in a way that reinforces this. The Champion’s abilities were all gifts that they honed to use by themselves, they used their powers to fight alongside their allies, but still their powers were never really meant to be used though a second party. In a way, their gifts are weakened when they are given to Link. For example Mipha’s Grace can only be used on Link in BotW, but when she was alive she could heal anyone.
By contrast, the Sage’s abilities are supposed to be used with the aid of another, they are amplified by Link. Tulin’s gust is more or less useless to Tulin himself, but with another person it had a lot of utility. Yunobo requires someone to aim him to get the most out of his charge. Riju is still learning how to control her lightning and needs someone else to direct it. While Sidon could probably use the water shield on himself, Sidon wants to protect others, so his power manifests as a physical shield to protect his friend.
This idea of the champions being isolated and not being able to receive much help from others makes a lot of sense. They were the last line of defence for Hyrule, they were the Plan B incase Zelda did not awaken her powers. When they became Champions, all of them were well respected warriors amongst their people, a lot of responsibility fell on them to be the protectors of not only their people, but all of Hyrule. For them to show weakness would mean Hyrule losing faith in their beloved champions.
The new Sages have a support system that the Champions did not have, they are allowed to have faults and not be perfect, because they have other people to support them and I think that’s beautiful.
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Does the mass-murdering criminal Jason "Red Hood" Todd canonically support the death penalty?
No, I can't find evidence that Red Hood supports the death penalty.
There is a difference between murder (illegal) and state-sanctioned killing (legal). Red Hood commits unlawful homicide. The death penalty is lawful homicide. Jason is a murderer. The death penalty is not legally considered murder. Commissioner Jim Gordon is a decorated military veteran, not a murderer.
Committing violence ≠ wanting the government to have the right to commit that violence. Batman and his allies brutalize criminals; they don't necessarily support the state brutalizing criminals. Red Hood kills some criminals; Red Hood doesn't necessarily support the state killing criminals. Catwoman doesn't necessarily support the state committing burglary. Et cetera.
The death penalty is administered by the criminal legal system. Jason does not like the criminal legal system (see some of his run-ins with the police). He grew up as an impoverished child who didn't believe in the system, he was raised by Batman to believe that vigilantes can make a difference that the system can't, and he became an adult criminal who still doesn't believe in the system. He's not interested in using the criminal legal system. He isn't interested in giving more powers and privileges to an abusive system that has wronged him and the people he cares about.
When Jason started up his villain business, the death penalty was legal in Gotham City. (See Detective Comics #644, The Joker: Devil's Advocate, Batgirl 2000 #19, Punchline #1.) The death penalty was also in place during his Robin run. Jason didn't argue in favor of the state having the right to kill prisoners, and the death penalty never addressed his complaints about the status quo.
Jason has rescued people from wrongful* imprisonment and the death penalty. Again, based on his own firsthand experiences, he has many reasons to believe that the system is broken. *Some of us would argue that locking any people in prisons tends to be wrongful and inhumane by default, but we could choose to accept the standard premises of crime fiction as without endorsing it as moral instruction.
Jason Todd is a criminal: a mass murderer, a terrorist, a villain. He does evil. He doesn't represent or support the legal system. He probably has the least political capital out of all the Batfamily-associated characters. He doesn't promote the death penalty. He commits murder—illegally, as a criminal, state-unapproved.
Some recent comics related to the topic:
Gotham Nights (2020) #11 "One Minute After Midnight", written by Marc Guggenheim
Red Hood and Nightwing team up to investigate the case of a man wrongly convicted of murder and sentenced to be executed. Both of them disapprove of how the broken criminal legal system botched this case.
Joker: The Man Who Stopped Laughing #8 (2023), written by Matthew Rosenberg
"You familiar with Hannah Arendt's concept of Schreibtischtäter? Desk murderers? It's people who use the state to kill for them, so they don't have to get their hands dirty."
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No but listen if we were dating i could inspire you to do your daily mental health walk when you don’t want to which would also force me to do MY daily mental health walk when i don’t want to it’s a win/win situation absolutely no downsides
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thinking about 16-22 year old kim being pushed out into the adult world entirely on his own for the first time. trying to figure it all out when you have absolutely no one to take care of you, to worry about you. looking at the warmly lit windows of the skyline of revachol west, and all the family units intertwined behind them. all slotted into place.
kim, knowing it's illogical, feeling betrayed by his mum for leaving him. resenting himself for leaving her.
something about. kim likes when things click into place. when they add up. something about how their family had (mediocre) father and (cherished) mother and baby - and his father wasn't around much, and his mother was slaughtered, and kim was left in the wind. all these loose, scattered jigsaw pieces. nothing satisfying about that.
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one thing I have learned about being poor is that you cannot for a moment stop thinking about it
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I’m finally biting the bullet and contacting a therapist today after being ambivalent ab it for so long… this hellsite has its many disadvantages but one thing I can say is it has truly helped me be less scared of pursuing therapy. Silver lining etc etc
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i really don't like the "religion is a tool, some people use it for good, some people use it for bad" thing because it's so... passive and individualistic. the problem isn't the religion, it's the Bad People using religion in a Bad Way. it has no accountability for objectively bad structural and systemic issues. it has no empathy or nuance for cult members, who i'm not going to say are all uwu innocent or don't do legitimate harm but are often victims themselves, and a lot of people would do better if they knew better but like you don't just choose to join a cult one day you can't just choose to snap out of one either. like, jehovah's witness is not a neutral thing that some people use for good and some people use for bad. it's a cult. they use cult tactics to keep people trapped and dependent on them. there are doctrinal and structural and systemic issues that are harmful. i hate this idea that it's solely a personal, individual issue if someone gets sucked into a cult or high control religion. i hate the idea that individual people are pulling these beliefs out of thin air because they're Simply Just Bad People and not because some religions have actual systemic issues. of course there are people that just want to hurt others but some people legitimately believe this is the best way to be. and that doesn't absolve them of their harm but if we treat it like it's only an individual issue these cults and high control religions have free reign to continue doing harm.
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Hi Bones! In light of Everything happening on tumblr (Trans debacle, vaguing about pulling the plug, midjourney), what are the plans for this blog's future? Not even just like immediately, more of a 'if tumblr one day just stopped existing, where should we look' sorta thing?
Head's up: blog is a little slow because I got bowled over by a depressive episode (I'm fine, this is my normal) + studying for some exams.
But I'm watching the fire with my fuzzy pajamas and a cup of coffee, backing up my drafts, downloading an updated archive (you can do this in your blog settings), and if the hammer explodes the car I will go to Cohost.
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someone has never lived with a coke addict. lmao
no but for real i see these posts a lot and while the basic idea is 100 % correct (drug addiction and homelessness are not personal or moral failures and people affected deserve respect and dignity), they usually take a direction or have implications i dont agree with.
first off, drug addiction is not a class issue. people of all backgrounds are drug addicts. ceos too. so i dont know what this has to do with leftism? as someone who struggles with substance abuse and for that reason has lived with and been around addicts, there are good reasons for people to be biased against them. in active addiction, many people are erratic, unpredictable, and egoistic. being wary of active addicts is self-preservation, not „bourgeois“ or whatever the reference to leftism is supposed to imply. this is also partly a gendered issue because men tend to exhibit addiction, egoism, and aggression at higher rates than women.
secondly, especially at the intersection of homelessness and drug addiction - i see a lot of these posts taking the direction of „mind your business if a homeless man is next to you mumbling to himself“ etc - it seems these people also romanticise what drug addiction with nothing to lose can do to a person. a friend of mine was hit in the face by a homeless man walking by, someone else i know was stabbed by a homeless man after they took him in. just because someone is underprivileged you dont have to stop listening to your insticts and keeping your distance to erratic and intoxicated men who seem like they might do something unpredictable. this doesnt just mean homeless men by the way, i dont trust any men exhibiting this behavior, and yeah would possibly call the cops if someone like that hung around my home or work (never have though).
on the other hand, when a homeless woman was hanging out in the hallway i let her be. my neighbor wanted to call the cops but i told her not to. personally i dont even care if she shoots up there, but if i had kids i might not want her around either.
are homeless drug addicts vulnerable and more likely to be harmed than harm someone else? yeah. do cops and doctors treat homeless people like shit? yeah. these are important conversations to have, but i wish they would happen without romantisation.
talk to any woman who has worked with homeless men, myself included - marginalisation is not virtue. many still harrass and even assault women. and these posts never take a gendered perspective: how most homeless and drug addicted women land in prostitution, how they are not safe in homeless shelters because of the men, etc.
im not saying op here said all of this but from the tone (and the tags and reblogs) it struck me as one of those posts that shames people for being alert around drug addicts and alcoholics when there is ample reason to, especially if youre a woman and theyre a man. and they never take a gendered perspective which is really important in this context, as it usually is.
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By implying that children are too stupid and rude to learn about the world and learn how the world works and how to interact with others, you are casting responsibility away from the people who are responsible for that child's upbringing and placing the blame on the children (who don't have the autonomy given to them to be allowed to decide what they want) who can't help what they do and do not learn, often.
If the children aren't okay, then investigate why before turning to thought-terminating clichés of, "Well, the kids are just stupid and dumb and aren't even worth the effort because they're lazy!"
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having limited contact w my parents/family is chill and whatever until you’re just watching modern family on a tuesday morning and get hit with the “fuck i wish they loved me” vibes
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brennan: so you're in the last standard exam in an alien realm and in the stands you see a bunch of arthur agueforts, they're cheering for you, they're talking to each other, they've got your names written on their chests
editors: zooms in on the two arthur agueforts who are making out because they know how we are
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bold move honestly to have all the characters yell every argument they knew fans would have at ted for why he should stay, and not have him say they’re wrong, or offer anything to counter it. Because at the end of the day it was his son. It was only his son. His son was the period at the end of the sentence, and always was going to be. Nothing else mattered, he was going home to his boy.
Literally if they were right I'd agree but it's them they know, not me. Now there's a way and I know that I have to go away. I know I have to go.
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