#and fucking hell the project is cool. but the thing is i think id have to be less of a sad sac bc i think he expects a lot and is hands off

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#the thing abt me is that if u complement me in an academic context i will melt #me walking into every interview: fuck this school. i dont wanna go there. im sad. on one is gonna want me. i can hardly function. fuck this #me walking out of every interview: fuck. the project is cool and they said nice things abt me 😭 #fuck. the guy from the lab i interviewed with basically said if u wanna be here i can make it happen. i like ur style and i think ur a #super good candidate 😭 and he quoted my wanky writing bc i got a bit flowery and idealistic lol #and hes on the admissions committee so he was like: yea i can support u if u want just let me kno #and fucking hell the project is cool. but the thing is i think id have to be less of a sad sac bc i think he expects a lot and is hands off #but it is a big institution with a lot of creative ppl and theyre good abt supporting interdisciplinary work #so like the opportunities there would be pretty fucking great i think. hhhhhh god. theres no way i could take the uk one now #fuck. wtf am i gonna do abt that? do i bow out now before ive committed so they have a shot with another person #or is it too late for that bc they already put my name forward to the committee #god dammit. this was the one i was supposed to b like yea no shot am i getting this. and now im like fucking considering it like #the opportunities.... but id have to live in new jersey... it would b closer to home i guess. id b back on east coast time #and i could work with Yellowstone organisms. and i bet the classes r pretty fucking rad education wise #god. decisions. im gonna play Choices by the Hoosiers like a million times #thats what i did wjen i was deciding to go for undergrad. and then i didnt even decide. i was just like... well i dont wanna go to the #place all my classmates r going. i will go 3hrs away. then 12hrs by plane for my masters #fuck. at least it went well. everyone was nice and the 2nd guy i talked to was like: #even if u dont go here. email me if u end up working with zinc and i can help. and i was like 😭 #i got a bit rambly with him but whatever he was 15min late so we're even lol #i was way too nervous. but it was ok. but also i dont understand wtf other incoming phd students r like?? #like they say im a good candidate and ive got good background and im like ??? what sort of losers r u looking at if u think im good? #i just think maybe what i wanna do is unique and very specific so im like not trying to do just anything. i have standards lol #and apparently im more coherent than i give myself credit for. i talk good sometimes and i have enthusiasm when i dont feel like im dying #god. i was not expecting this. i dont belong at a school working with tech startups like wtf. i come from a place of slightly trash #universities lol. well my undergrad uni wasnt so bad... well i mean the city is the butt of a lot of ohio related jokes tho. im looking at #u klinger. fucking mean streets of toledo. whatever the school im at now is worse. couldnt even keep my boss here smh #anyway what the fuck. and i got a lotta writing done today what the fuck #me being competent???? unheard of. god. imagine if i had my shit together. i could kill god. algae and other scientists would fear me #unrelated

[scribefindegil]

god. i’m still real fucked up over Manga Mogami Arc, and not for any of the reasons people warned me about. like, Mogami’s world ramps up the violence above what they could show in the anime (which, thanks Bones, I personally could not have handled watching that so I’m glad they toned it down), but that makes sense for him. he’s a powerful evil spirit who’s created a hell dimension. it’s brutal, but it isn’t unexpected.

what got me was what happened before that.

[Image ID: A partial page from the Mob Psycho 100 manga. Panel 1: A psychic picks up an ornate staff and says, “So she beats us to death, one by one ... or we beat on her, all together.” Panel 2: Another psychic, sweating, asks, “You really think the client would agree to that ...?” Panel 3: A closeup of the first psychic, veins bulging and eyes narrowed. He says, “The client is currently bleeding out on the floor. Open your eyes. This is no time for questions about morals and ethics ...” Panel 4: Dialogue continues, “It’s looking more like ... kill or be killed.” The crowd of psychics looks distraught. Panel 5: Reigen, with a horrified expression, thinks “Things were already bad, but ...” End ID]

So for those of you who haven’t read the manga, there’s a point after Mogami has trapped everyone in the basement and revealed the extent of his power where some of the other psychics decide that their best strategy for getting out of this situation is murder! Cool! (Does someone point out that Mogami’s spirit has already jumped into a different vessel and there’s nothing to stop him from doing it again? Yes! Does this give them pause? No!)

I think this is really interesting, because in the anime the real threat in this arc always comes from Mogami himself, even if it’s enacted through his spirits in the mindscape. But in the manga there’s this part that still takes place in the real world, with regular people who aren’t being controlled or possessed, and because their lives are in danger they’re willing to try to kill a middle-school girl to save themselves. Mogami must have been so chuffed. Here are these people all ready to prove his point about the darkness at the heart of human nature and how no one really cares about anyone but themselves, and he hardly even put them up to it! It reminds me of the part with the astral projection stalker, where it’s one thing to see this kind of behavior from an evil spirit, but it hits harder when it comes from living humans.

Also really important to note that they got this idea because of Reigen. Obviously he was not encouraging murder! But it was his successful knee-strike exorcism of Jodo that gave the other psychics the idea that they could defeat Mogami by doing physical violence to his host.

[Image ID: Jodo lies unconscious on the floor. Someone says, “You saw what just happened. Jodo was possessed ... but that dude’s kick took him down! We can try the same thing against her.” End ID]

And Reigen can tell that he won’t be able to talk them out of it! He freezes up! It’s Shinra who, very bravely and very stupidly, runs forward and tries to stop them and gets his face bashed in for it (i’m not screencapping this because it makes me too upset).

It just. It’s already so much in the anime when Mob refuses to accept Mogami’s worldview after six months in his world. It’s even more when the last things he experienced in the real world were so bleak. But he’s so, so brave and so, so stubborn, and he’s willing to believe that all those people deserve the chance to change too.

#*lies down on the floor* #i love mob! #i hate mogami! #i'm genuinely so upset about shinra he was BRAVE he was GOOD he was TRYING! #mp100 #mp100 manga spoilers #also #ALSO!! #after Mob's first attempt at an exorcism doesn't work Reigen tries to convince him to leave the rest of them behind to get help #bc he clearly thinks they're all going to die but he wants Mob to be safe and i #ugghghghghghghghhhghhhhhhhhhhhh!!!! #like you can watch Reigen completely lose his composure throughout these scenes #and then once the exorcism fails he puts his mask back on #and it's obvious that he doesn't think there's any way he or the rest of the adults are getting out of this #but if he can just convince Mob to leave it'll be okay #(i'm fine i'm normal)

[risetherivermoon]

spoke about this briefly before, but heres a more in depth post w/ me rambling about my idea and explaining the au by showing off my notes and everything

anyway, the idea im talking about is like a social media/twitter (i will not call it X, fucking bite me) thing about the teens using twinote (an app that can make fake tweets) mixed with me using my own art to add stuff to it, and the idea of maybe making a secondary blog to answer asks as the characters,

this format idea is mixed with an au ive been thinking about involving hell and heaven stuff, (im not immune to hazbin hotel hype nor am i immune to any kind of bible fanfiction) so heres some notes about that;

basic desc:

Taylor is a prince of the 7th circle and a Hell-born demon, he makes friends with Scary/Terri, a sinner who died in the 1950's, a long with her guardian/step-dad TJ/Terry Jr. (sinners in this universe tend to go by secondary names instead of their human names) while messing around the city that Scary & TJ live in, Scary and Taylor stumble upon Lincoln, a fallen angel, who has just fallen from Heaven, Lincoln starts staying with TJ and Scary, since he has nowhere to go. Eventually Normal, an angel, trespasses into Hell from Heaven, in an attempt run from his home. Normal is found by the rest of the teens who are now trying to make sure Heaven doesn't find out that Normal is in Hell

(edit: contents for this au can be found at @3sinnrsn1angel)

additional notes & more yapping about my ideas below the cut, be warned!!!

- Scary & TJ live in the 7th ring of Hell, each circle is a different city & has a different monarchy

- Taylor as hell royalty is an angel hunter. Scary is also an angel hunter

- angel hunting is treated as a sport by the royals, and as a bounty-hunting type job by the sinners, done when angels fly overhead of hell to deliver messages and keep demons in line, there tends to be a lot of air traffic that makes hits easy

- tho this universe mostly surrounds hell & heaven, people can still cast spells and do magic, though its a skill you have to master

- TJ is a magic user and runs a magic shop, he and Scary live in the overhead apartment above the shop

- Normal's grandfather is a part of Heaven's council, which means Normal was a high ranking angel

- Lincoln's father, Grant, was also a part of Heaven's council before Link's falling

- Hell Demons buy and barter sinner souls constantly, and it has become a competition between the royals to have the most souls as well as angel kills

- Hell Demons & Sinners are cool with angels co-existing amongst them, and will not hunt them if it's an angel on the ground and out of uniform (most angels who go through hell are wearing heaven garbs) though it will bring weird looks and comments people are mostly unbothered by it, Heaven is unaware of this or that angel refugees are living amongst sinners

- this applies to fallen angels as well

- this will probably be a polywagon fic, ill see where the wind takes me

(hermie does exist but 4 the sake or spoilers ill leave the info on them to that)

the rest of the details i have written down about this au are spoiler-adjacent but this is what ive got for you! heres a little bit more about the formatting style i have in mind, im sorry (not sorry) about yapping so much i just like to info-dump

basically ill be using mostly fake tweets using twinote, as well as messages between the teens also using twinote, i did kind of some tests to get down the kind of energy i want for this and to see if this format works well with these characters so ill show some ss of that here as an example:

(all pfp art is by me)

theres also the factor of me not using this blog to post this series and using a secondary blog, id mostly be doing that to make sure asks and content of this project is secluded from my other stuff,

speaking of asks, id use the ask box on said account to get questions and do a type of q&a thing where the audience can ask the teens questions and ill make art for/write them responding to it, also maybe responding to questions from a creator & ooc pov

i also make art just for funzies and if it fits in the plot anywhere, as well as making the characters pfps n stuff, heres an example a little by showing off a piece that (if i decide to really commit to this which i might since ive been having this idea rattling around in my head for a bit) ill be using in it (prob 4 pfps)

(using this to also show off the teens designs for this au lol)

lemme know if yall find this interesting because im pretty into it already lol, and ill see what i can come up with for getting it all started, if u got it this far congrats you read all my yapping! also id love to answer any questions abt this au as well (ooc obvi)

#dndads #dndads s2 #dndaddies #dungeons & daddies #dungeons and daddies #dungeons and daddies fanart #my art #dndads fanart #dndads fanfic #dndads fanfiction #dndads fic #my writing #polywagon #scary marlowe #terri marlowe #dndads taylor swift #taylor swift dndads #lincoln li wilson #link li wilson #normal oak #normally oak swallows garcia #normal oak swallows garcia #hermie the unworthy #terry jr stampler #tj stampler #henry oak #grant li wilson #autumn rambles #autumn rambles like hell #🍁

[strawberrycircuits]

》 ♡ 《

>CONTENT LOADING....

hi hi hello! my name is strawberry (or strawb)! (i also use the name roz sometimes!) im queer, trans, 19, and neurodivergent, and this where i scream about robots and gay little nintendo characters. i use he/him, it/its, ze/zem/zeir/zemself, and co/code/codes/codeself pronouns! itd be so so sooo cool if you could please interchange these. thanks!

i dont know what my gender is and honestly i dont care (and neither should u)! just dont call me 'she' please! if i had to label it id say my gender is whatever the hell nintendo was doing with all those see-through consoles in the 2000s. look at these sexy sexy boys

my art tag is #strawberryscribbles, my tag for cool art made by friends or made for me is #talented ppl tag, and thats about all i consistently tag anymore (aside from content warnings. if you need something content warned, lmk!). my art blog is @strawb-artfolder and my oc blog is @cultivatingyourfuture (though that project is on an indefinite hiatus due to signifigant rewrites, lol). im not great at art but i like growing and improving and showing you all that process, so im going to keep posting it anyhow! cringe culture is dead and its decomposing slowly in my backyard.

heres some things about me!!

my main interests are computers, old electronics, adventure time, portal 2, and nintendo (particularly mario, splatoon, and the legend of zelda!). i also reblog half life, tf2, and mlp stuff from time to time. i am, in fact, critical of all of my media interests. fuck nintendos business practices and fuck the way they fetishize arabic cultures 👎👎👎

send me asks!!!! about whatever!!!! it makes my day every time!!!!!

im not a linked universe fan or a linkverse fan in general. i might engage with that content because i like the designs and want to support artists but dont ask me about it i dont go there lmao (bonus links fucks hard though i will say that)

i dont tag spoilers. sorry! youre free to unfollow or block me at any time :)

wanna know what music ive been listening to? heres my main playlist! maybe youll find something new!!! (and if you shoot me an ask saying u found a new song u like bc of me.... tell me! itll make my day!)

ive had people ask me a couple of times, so let me go ahead and say-- i like to refer to characters i have specific pronoun headcanons for WITH those pronouns! i usually garner confusion about this when i talk about oot zelda (he/she), botw link (she/he/they), and oot link (she/her). theres not really a reason, i just like to! (when i talk to people about their specific interpretations, i use whatever hcs theyve assigned them instead). if you wanna know how i hc any other characters, 🔫 me an ask!

im not going to sift through every blog that interacts with me or apply widely misused terminology to give an idea of what i do or dont want in my circle. im just going to say these things outright. i believe in radical queer acceptance (yes, even for whatever "weird" identity youre about to pull out as a gotcha), all transgender people and asexuals and aromantics and xenogenders and neopronouns are all valid, otherkin/therians are cool as hell, objectums are my friends, i want all pedophiles to die by my hand, youre weird as shit if you romanticize incest or pedophilia in any context, and i believe in reclaiming words like queer, fag, dyke, and tranny, which i will not content warn for. ok cool 👍

im a stupid broke college student and i can barely afford to feed myself most days so if you wanna help out heres my CA.

ermm i think thats all. heres a bunch of people i think are so so cool that you should go visit: b0nkcreat down-thedrain seagullcharmer syntheticspades trashedump basillica-gel dykevirgo cherrylavendertea localvoidcat thebleedingeffect gardnwater our-reality mackthecheese angstyvylene-i three-bunnies-in-a-trenchcoat unironicallycringe idiot-synergy michpat6 korokposting effervescentleaf pidgefudge avidcollectorofdust merriclo

#pinned poast

[foileadeux]

CURIOUS- What is your process when making your animatics? And what do you use your individual programs for most? (Ei: csp for art and moment / vegas for effects or somn)

Also, I recently got csp ex for animatic/animation stuff myself- You have any tips for how to make big projects alike yer animatics/tions ?

SO. umm. if im being good and professional i'll do the smart thing and do thumbnails for my animatics to outline the gist of what i want. but uhh if im being honest i only did that for lavender town of which you can watch the wip of here! (for some reason i also animated a little bit within these thumbnails which you shouldnt really do but whatever)

but for the rest of my animatics ive thumbnailed in my brain which is very bad and i advise against it. bc i can remember a few times in toba the tura, my heart still beats and mama where im just sitting there like. uhh. what next HAHA so its just good to draw out smthn beforehand or plan ahead even if its messy!!! my only saving grace is how fast i am at drawing so im able to make up for this LMAOO dont be like me for each of my animatics i make one Big csp file (and a backup) which stores all the frames for that animatic (its usually just titled "a" or smthn i am very uncreative) these bitches get huge. So many layers. theres around 600 layers for lavender town alone. if i were smarter id split these files up so it didnt take ages to load and save but alas i am not. But this is where i do my frame by frame animation basically, i just lower the opacity of a frame and draw over it (onion skinning is the term for this iirc), usually i draw key frames of movement and then just inbetween them so they look a little smoother (e.g: a head turning to the side, id draw the back and then the side profile, and then draw the inbetweens of that motion) , im fond of the choppy lower fps look so thats what i go for! i definitely do not set out for super ultra smooth animation or id be collapsed on the floor rn i think as for editing with sony vegas pro, i import all the frames from csp and use "track motion" and "pan/crop" to tween stuff! (like... make it go from left to right, move the camera around yknow) which is a huge crutch for me Especially in toba the tura, i did very little frame by frame animation for that one LMAOO (not shitting on tweening u can do some really fuckin fun shit with it, like that shot of pk stabbing the lance sentry in toba the tura) i do overall prefer the look of frame by frame but i use a hybrid of the two!! theyre both super cool, complicated and fun in their own ways tbh.

heres some extra stuff, the fucked up looking timeline of my mama animatic and a look at some of the raw frames (hair lego pieces)

funniest part of my Animation process is wanting the hair and body to be paced differently so i have to slot the hair in like its a fuckin lego piece on a different layer. this truly was the hell of the mama animatic. theres also just an entire layer dedicated to mouths for lip syncing. very funny anyways thats about it, i hope this has been enlightening!! if you have any like super specific specific questions feel free to dm me! i dont have too much experience animating using an art program's animation features specifically tho, so i can't speak to those! i compile and pace all the frames on a timeline in sony vegas pro basically so csp is just for drawing each frame out for me!

#ok last ask i swear #ask #my art

[imustbenuts]

yakuza 1 kiwami thoughts after finishing it, very mixed feelings about this game :v

WHHHHHHHHHHHHYYYYYYYYYYYYYY. WHO. HOW. WHAT THE HELL IS THIS. the story. the COMBAT.

i get it. i really do. this is probably a project they started and finished in a short time by reusing assets and pulling the old motion capture data from the master and applying it in the remake. the future of the series hinged on this very flawed original ps2 game. the pacing doesnt let the story sink in and ferment as a result of this ps2 mocap. i get it.

the graphic updates are great. majima everywhere is actually really fun. kamurocho is super cool. the dialogues in the substories and MES are zingers. wonderful. amazing. the pores on everyone's face, fuck yeah. gimme that!

BUT. the main game makes me want to drop a sega arcade machine in front of SEGA's building over in japan. the maimai machines are getting it.

because i genuinely. i dont understand why certain decisions are done in the creation of this game.

story wise i get trying to preserve the og as much as possible and changing things as minimally as possible but. but. i would have re-written a lot of things. hell, i would have rewritten at least one thing and that is yumi.

as it is theres a lot of bits that seems like *checks notes* mr. yokoyama was on the fence about. but sir. SIR.

if you flesh out nishiki, flesh out yumi too. they are a package deal to kiryu's character foundations. im actually really ok with nishiki despite that ending where kiryu and nishiki dont talk! but then yumi??? she hasnt endeared me. COME ON SEDUCE ME MR. YOKOYAMA, SEDUCE ME WITH HER LIKE YOU DO YOUR MEN! im playing as kiryu, so for the love of GOD SEDUCE/ENDEAR HER TO ME.

щ(゜ロ゜щ)!!! WYD!!! you kind of did it with reina with y0!! sir!!

and also, why is yumi's tattoo and literal key defining trait is that shes beautiful (with the gekka bijin shit) and thats. it. beauty = instant love interest for kiryu and nishiki. this was already stupid in 2005 asian dramas, it was stupid in the 90s and its still stupid today. (source: me with all these asian dramas absorbed as background noise growing up)

if yumi doesnt get fleshed out, then drop the romance. just tone it down or drop it altogether. id even argue theres even maybe a better foundation for her to be kiryu's sister than romance, but thats my personal opinion stemming purely from the lack of polish she gets.

there is no in between here imo. the problem is that kiryu seems very... dense when it comes to romance and sex to the point that he reads like one on the ace spectrum. in y0 hes 20 and so reads like his brain was button mashing the hormones, so that still tracks for me. i can also accept him being attracted to anyone but that attraction must come with screen time. he spends more time thinking about nishiki and worrying where haruka's mom is than he thinks about yumi.

this poor butchered girl. yumi's character quality is like. as good as the ring he gave her. a mcguffin. hhhhhhgh. and then she dies getting shot by the guy she decided to move on with while kiryu is in jail instead of waiting for him, like shes... getting punished for it... jesus christ this writing choice is dreadful.

fine whatever... j-drama tragedy and all that. i can still accept all of these flaws bc y7 and y8 are such a GREAT time, and mr. yokoyama has clearly gotten better at this writing thing.

in retrospect for y8 personally, maybe kiryu is so dense he doesnt realize this love is more like a crush or some platonic or familial affection. and in y8 that has evolved into a twisted what if scenario hitch-hiking on his sense of longing for an alternate future that isnt rooted in any reality. (did they date???????????? even stayed together for a while to see if they were compatible in their daily lives or language? i think majima has even cleared the dating hurdle with MES here...)

THE COMBATTTT WHYYYYYYYYYYY

im. what. what is this. did people QA this enough?

so a bit about Game Design: Crowding.

generally, when the Player Character in an action game is surrounded by multiple enemies, it is ALWAYS a good idea to code some semblance of chill into the AI. if a few enemies starts whacking the PC, then the others in the crowd must hang back and chill. otherwise the PC gets stun locked and their health drains to a flat 0 leading to a game over in a snap.

fps games does this by purposefully making enemies have poor aim.

action games does this by limiting the amounts of attacks on screen from enemies.

so. why is it. the enemies here have a built in auto dodge, block and a stun lock dog piling brain.

not even monster hunter has this amount of read coded into their attack patterns. neither does the souls games. it's also offset by the longer than usual attack animations that asks the player to both read and commit on the screen from enemies and their own avatars alike.

but y1k. ?? ?? ?? ? ??????????????????? w h y. why did it toss out this piece of common sense out the window for the 2 brothers boss fight in debolah and for jingu. naze. doushite. wei shen me. WHY.

i think the most telling thing is when, during multiple BULLSHIT fights i was constantly thinking how i wished i was fighting majima instead...

majima is such a saving grace for me here. what a frustrating ride.

y1k reminds me so much of the same flaws gintama had early on, and i know for a fact things get good and there are good things in here. i really do like some of the plot points. but ugh. ghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhg.

it just wasn't. sincere enough. you know?

tiger drop.

#yakuza #like a dragon #yakuza 1 kiwami

[yuukei-yikes]

Since we’re bringing up kagekids, I wonder what kind of moms would Ayano and Takane be. And what kind of relationship do Ayame and Konoha have with their parents? Who is their favourite parent?

AWWW MY FANKIDS THE LITTLE GUYS THE THE THE... heheheheheheheheheheh this ask excited me so i doodled them quickly

las creaturas for real ☝️☝️☝️

erm erm erm. answer under the cut ♥️ i talked a lot and it's embarrassing ♥️♥️♥️

ayano is not difficult to imagine as a mom. she's really sweet but scary when angry yknow. probably more than shintaro. well obviously a lot more than shintaro. kids go to him before her when theyre in trouble bc he's a huge pushover and cant handle being mad at them for over a minute. LOL ERMM ERMMM i think ayano's parent flaw (IM GETTING INTO THAT NO ONE IS A PERFECT PARENT) is that shes REALLY into THERE ARE NO SECRETS IN THE FAMILY and struggles giving her kids space bc she's insanely scared of any of them hurting similarly to how she has in the past. like it comes from a good place but it's definitely a little awkward and makes ayano kind of an overbearing parent? not SUPER like she's not controlling or takes away their privacy or anything but she's like. EMOTIONALLY overbearing. friday night after dinner is emotion time where we sit down as a family and list every positive and negative thing of the week and talk it through😊😊😊😊😊 shes a little crazy but means well u_u but she's really just teaching them healthy communication and how to ask for help etc etc but sometimes it goes too far like she projects too much LOL but it complements well with shintaro bc he's usually like Hey. leave them the fuck alone for a moment and ayanos like AUUGGHH 💔💔💔💔💔💔 ok fine💔 also AGAIN ayame littlest of 4 kids but all others are adopted and came into the family with their own lore and most likely tragic past so ayano is USED TO THE PRECEDURE OF HELPING HER CHILDREN HEAL but ayame is like i was raised in a healthy loving home i have no mental issues and my biggest problem in life is having to go to school bc id rather be playing toys and having fun. and ayano's like what the fuck... shintaro we raised an emotionally stable child and shintaros like I SURE HOPE WE DID?????

takane is also not difficult to imagine i think. sorry takane but... overprotective insane parent she would be fucking INSANE like. takane would be a good mom DO NOT get me wrong definitely the coolest no big deal u can do anything u want kinda parent definitely the fun one definitely the one all next gen kids go to for prank support. you know that pic that's like mom in 1990 helping her kids pass a hard level in super mario. thats takane 100% like she is so COOL but secretly fucking insanely over obsessed protective hypochondriac. like rest in fucking pieces. konoha's the kid arriving to the sleepover with a overnight breathing machine that needs to be plugged in. he scrapes his knee and takane acts like it's the end of the world. haruka not nearly as insane but insane enough to sort of enable takane's overprotectiveness bc he's sorta the same LOL he's not so worried if konoha gets hurt playing but if he coughs 1 time haruka also begins acting like it's the end of the world

konoha is an only kid and ayame has 3 older siblings so haruka+takane and ayano+shintaro are inevitably super different parents bc shintaro and ayano are like experienced and are like the memes of Me when my third kid hits their head (hanging out and not caring) and haruka and takane are like Me when my first kid hits their head (AMBULANCE SIRENS) since im talking abt ayano and takane specifically let me add i think itd be funny if they get into discussions because ayame plays rough (little sister survival) and konoha rides a bike with pillows attached to all his body. so konoha's like coming back home from hanging out with ayame all shaken and hyper and with 1 microscopic scrape and takane's like (shaking) which isnt even ayame's fault konoha is probably clumsy as hell. haruka genes. didnt get the deadly illness👍👍👍 but falls on his face for no damn reason all the time😔😔😔

AS FOR THEIR RELATIONSHIPS i feel bad abt them choosing a favorite THATS SO SADDD i dont think its about FAVORITES it's more like. u have different relationships with both parents??? like i think ayame goes more to shintaro than ayano exactly because ayano is like Sit down AND LETS HAVE OUR SCHEDULED HEART TO HEART and shintaro's like a million times more chill like i generally think ayame's personality is more like his. i think she's sort of like if shintaro was an extrovert♥️ but also when it comes to hanging out outside and jumping around and chasing each other around which is 1000% ayames kind of playing she goes to ayano. shintaro's sitting down on the couch trying to read and his kid(s) (all the older ones join in too) and wife are jumping around him because the floor is lava 🙏💯🔥 literally ratio + playing + having fun.

like IDK. I FEEL BAD CHOOSING ONE OR ANOTHER TO BE A FAVORITE BOTH ARE GOOD PARENTS THEYRE A HAPPY FAMILY *MY TELEKINESIS THROWS EVERYTHING ACROSS THE ROOM* same for harutaka and konoha but in a more chill way btw i think their households are so different bc konoha is an only child AND super chill and ayame is a nightmare child AND 1 out of 4 kids so harutaka household is like super organized and quiet and shinaya house is utter chaos. konoha and ayame getting overstim/understim when visiting each other LMAOO but theyre still BESTFRIENDS FOREVER!!!!!

i got sidetracked i was gonna talk abt harutaka and konoha ermmm ermmm i also refuse to choose a favorite parent but konoha... awakening eyes..... it is inevitable haruka and him share A Bond because COME ONN COME ONNNN HIS OTHER SELF... IS BABY NOW... SNIFF SMIFF sorry i have got so many feelings abt awakening eyes being baby. like haruka doesnt KNOW its awakening obviously but still there is a special affinity. takane is definitely the only loud one in the family if it wasnt for its annoying ass their home would be so quiet all the damn time. BUT ITS GOOD bc it keeps everyone moving takane is definitely the time management. like get your asses moving management. its just them 3 you know so they're all really close. konoha definitely the kind to sleep in his parents bed just cuz its more comfortable he is insanely babied so he's kind of like yeah i am Baby. sorry to come back to the same thing but this and ayame's little sister moment like IM NOT LITTLE IM SO MATURE AUUGGHHH vs konoha being like My mom still cuts my food 🙏 he's older than her but ayame lives her big sister calling through konoha

#thank u for giving me an excuse to go insane. #ask tag #my art #kagekids #headcanons

[knize-strachkvas]

so under the influence of local anaesthetics and pretty strong painkillers, i made the very questionable decision to watch fantasy boys. it was a mistake and you're going to suffer with me.

first things first. i dont think the editing is bad? surprisingly it doesn't look like they are trying to evil edit some trainees? which is surprising and it also shows how low the bar is lmao (im looking at you mnet).

the first two eps were okay. they showed a lot of performances without evil editing them that much? i hated the way they made myungjae look incompetent but he was the only one used for the drama value? i think? as i said i was not really focused while i was watching it lol. also the way they sorted them to the grades using the id card was very dramatic and i like the idea

the most questionable thing is the dorm situation. that one trainee saying it look like the squid game room was not far from the truth lmao. them sleeping in one big room is just creepy, especially when they don't really switch the light off during the night in the halls?? i would not be able to fall asleep in such an open space. and them having to spend their free time there? nope NOPE :D

their idea for the visual battle was cool. them knowing only the visual concept and choosing without knowing the song was evil. and the songs seemed equally impactful. whoever chose them did a good job.

now the participants. maybe im just way too old but why does it seems like the majority of the trainees have an extremely huge ego? i know that this is survival show and pretending you are better than you actually are and creating an interesting persona is literally part of their job but boiiiii its so annoying? i have zero interest in stanning a 15yo who thinks they're best at absolutely everything while lacking a basic human decency. idk im just not vibing with this attitude. most of the teams had very bad teamwork bc they are all self-centric and not able to cooperate with the rest of the team. they are all there to become a part of a boy group. that's literally an endless group project where you need to be in close proximity with your teammates 24/7. sounds like hell but as far as i know they all went there willingly.

mentioning annoying participants, it's time for the defenestration team, also known as the participants somebody should throw out of the window as the human garbage they are. the honourable members of this excellent team are the stealer team (except for ivan, ling qi and wooseok) and ksoul. the stealer team is here for obvious reasons. they are a bunch of xenophobic idiots. yes, if you're already debuted idol in korea and you can't speak korean at all - that would be a problem. but neither of the chinese boys was already debuted idols and they still have time to perfect their korean. they were just a bunch of insecure meanies who were jealous that some foreign kids were better than them. and with ksoul. god, i can't stand the kid. well....kid. uhm how old is he really? that's the real question here lmao. anyway, ksoul is an annoying, arrogant and self-centred jerk that does not have an ounce of will to cooperate in his body. that boy is not fit to be in a boy group consisting of 12 members. he needs to be permanently the centre of attention, being the best and not having any competition. having him in a team would be a punishment to the rest of the team.

other trainees i would love to talk about santa and yacht (no i will not call him yaya). wabi sabi what the actual fuck. why. i have so many questions. (ksoul immediately knowing who they are was the only funny thing ksoul did on that show). with santa, i kinda get it. he is good, his skills on the same level as some of the other trainees and there is a potential for him to blend together perfectly. but yacht? he is the oldest here and his skills are lacking in every way possible. i read somewhere that yacht is there just to accompany santa and that sounds about right to me. them leading the global voting even before the 1st ep airing just showed that having a solid fanbase (consisting mainly of bl fans) can do a lot. the ranking was not deserved at ALL, especially yacht's. (would also like to mention that being on a survival show and having to communicate constantly in a language you're not familiar with is hard and all the foreign trainees are brave for going for it. the stealer team situation just proves it. and the fact that they actually show it there is a miracle.)

right now (ep4) this is my top 12. surprisingly, after only 4 episodes, there are a lot of trainees that are a good choice for the debuting team. it's more about not letting the red flags (aka the defenestration team) debut and not giving them more attention than is necessary. top3 caught my attention during 1st episode (i knew junwon from &audition), the rest of them did great during the visual battle, especially jinho, seunghyun and myungjae.

okay that's it for now. can't believe i now need to watch eight (?) more episodes. i love to make myself suffer :))

#fantasy boys #junwon #taeseon #here we go again #i used my delirious yelling i sent to my gc to write this and it shows #i cant believe i made myself watch the whole episodes #the potential to have a really strong debut line up is there #but so are the red flags #the boy wanting to eat the special sendwitch and then being told its another broadcasting station was the best part of the whole show #will be back with update lmao

[usedtobemygirl]

So what is your evidence that matty is not a bad person?

He’s offended so many marginalized groups and they’re allowed to be upset that a person that they look up to is associating herself with someone who has been so offensive.

He watches porn where the premise is beating black women. He has openly admitted to this. There’s a video of him doing a nazi salute (and even if he was making fun of nazis, he still did an action that’s literally illegal in Germany because of how offensive it is and he’s not Jewish, he doesn’t get to do that). He called ice spice chubby and then made fun of accents.

How do those things not rub you the wrong way? How do you not see that people of color and Jewish people are hurt by this

id say that if you’re upset about him doing a nazi salute during the line in the song that says ‘thank you kanye, very cool’ during the time when kanye west was being antisemetic and he was making a statement against it then you need to get a grip, and you obviously don’t understand the point he was making.

also when matty healy made that joke about porn, the ppl he was with said it wasn’t even real he was doing a bit. (X) obviously it’s a stupid fucking joke but like it’s not real

and yeah it was a shitty think to say to abt ice spice but I’m not sure she cares that much considering she’s collaborating w taylor lol.

it’s ok to be angry or not like him but to try and demand who she dates is weird as hell and it’s odd ? why do you think you can do that lol ?

he’s not a bad person because he’s a feminist (x) he spoke out against the abortion bill and was very vocal against it (x) my favourite quote being ‘you are not men of god, you are simply misogynistic wankers’. in 2019 his Brit awards acceptance speech criticised misogyny within the music industry and quoted the guardian feminist writer Laura Snapes in order to make his point that the music industry is misogynistic (x) in 2020 he stated he would not play another lineup at a festival unless there were as many women as men playing at the said festival (x)

he’s not a bad person because he’s a very vocal advocate for LGBT rights, he has raised thousands for lgbt+ projects (x), he was banned from Dubai from kissing a man on stage in order to protest the anti-lgbt laws they had put in place (x) this act was literally punishable by ten years in prison but he still did it in order to combat homophobia.

he is also very in support of people who strike and unions and has urged his fans to resist to demonise those who strike (x)

he’s also an environmentalist who is extremely in support of Greta thunburg despite the fact all British journalists hate her, yet he still sticks his neck out because he knows it’s important (x) the 1975 also have gigs where they use hybrid power generators in order to reduce their carbon footprint (x)

i just think there are many other things you need to be focusing on currently as the world is a shitshow ! and maybe not obsess who ur fav pop star is fucking right now but maybe that’s just me !

#anonymous #answered #matty healy

[toririvas]

first time listening to superpowereds year 1! welcome to the live blog, to be updated as i get through it.

I'm listening to the graphic audio version, if that matters.

Let's begin, I'm starting the liveblog on chapter 4 because I figured it was a good idea to document it. Also, it's a slow work day. Sue me.

First chapter is good at getting me intrigued. I have to say Vince is a solid protagonist, and his VA is fun. I just imagine him as a silver haired Miles Morales, 12fps and all. I'm intrigued with Nick because I goddamn love these types of characters. (If you've ever seen me tag stuff for Ike, you'd know.) I heard Nick and I'm immediately like, Nick Furcillo from supermassive games' The Quarry? Pretty hair, pretty face, and praying that's all you notice kind of boy. Tboy swag detected as well, I may just be projecting a little for him tho. Herschel... oh, I pick him up in my ARMS. I have a thing for the sweethearts, I really do, and I have a character that's kind of similar to him (always left to clean up the messes). The dynamic of him and Roy is. Well, it's sure a hell of a thing. Speaking of Roy, holy shit dude, chill. I get it, though, he's the literal representative of ego, blah blah- stop bullying your headmate>:/. MARY. Mary I am going to stare at you. Oh my god. I love weirdgirls. They have such swag. Hyper powerful weirdgirls? be still my beating heart. And, Aelwyn Aberna- I mean, Alice Adair... She's cool. I like the mean girl archetype. It's a vibe. I hope she goes feral like Regina George becoming a jock.

Okay, onto the actual plot.

Okay, it's a program to turn Powereds into Supers. I got that from my dad's summary and the back of the book. Cool.

Nick gave me vibes from the start. Why are you like this. I can tell you're sad, weirdo. Vince having clothes and a bed and being weirded out by it is heart wrenching. I didn't get what Herschel's deal was when I first listened so I just sort of accepted the Shifter thing. Alice is neat, Mary is weird. Cool. I've got the dynamic.

Combat training! That's typical, the placements make sense but the rule of five and the not being able to challenge the top five is... Weird? I guess the rule makes sense but not the waiting until the end of the year thing.

New side character, Sasha Foster. Speedster. Roommates with a Julia? Fun. Punky vibe. That's fun. She's into Vince, that's neat.

I'm skipping around a little because again, starting this late

Wow, Roy is a cunt and a half. That mf is friends with Mitch (NPCs) in another universe, I can feel it. Lmao, get stronger without your powers is his arc. Got it. Solid.

Did he... Charm someone into getting him into the bar? Does he have a fake ID JUST FOR HIMSELF? Insane.

Goddamn, going back to Casino night for a second, obsessed with the weird mind games of Nick and Mary. Like. He's so fucking weird. What's with his journaling? Why'd he delete it? The fucking sunglasses??? Is this some kind of fucking Mr. Spender moment (shout out to the 1 other Drew Hayes/Paranatural fan, who I am pretty sure does not follow this blog).

Poor Hersch and the damn mornings after. I hope he gets to be liked by someone genuinely.

Okay, back to chapter 4, will report back with thoughts.

Vince is awkward. We love this. Graphic audio funneled kiss noises directly into my ears. Disgusting.

Roy plans to fuck him up but hail mary, it's Mary. And she thinks Hersch is nice, so she's threatening Roy. Good for her. Holy shit, by the way, she's so scary. I'm in love for real. I just see her in my brain as kinda Allison Reynolds, kinda Lydia Deetz, kinda Eleven in terms of aesthetics, but she's Rose Lalonde in scaring the fuck out of people. God bless.

Wouldn't Herschel being officially classed as Super mean he has control over Roy appearing? Why isn't he forcing Roy into going/taking control when he doesn't do what's best for the host body? Anyway. Roy has a challenge now, let's see how this goes.

Chad stomped him, as I heard in the audio sample. Fuckin nice.

Midterm, huh? Okay. Twenty page paper and an ethics project. Interesting. Pairs? Nick and Alice, lmao. I think they're bitey at each other. That's hilarious.

Vince and Will. Cool! Everest is their project.

Hersch and... Alex the Jedi! Okay cool. The more I listen to Alex talk the more I'm like *Donald?*

Nick and Alice are fun. Love that there's jazzy music whenever Nick's brain is in focus.

Will has a twin, Jill. Wow. Okay fun. Will is a support member! Neat.

Jill vs Sasha. Sasha wins! Speedster makes sense. Fast healing, probably? Decent recovery.

Chess again. Hersch is getting better. Nice. Herschel is her rook, Vince is her bishop, Alice is her knight, and Nick is her king. Obviously, she's queen. Alice is so interesting. I hope they become girl best friends.

Girls day!

Movie night boys!

Vince: I'm gonna leave!

Mary: no you're fucking not.

AHA HE DOES HAVE A FAKE!! GOD. Alice is going to make plans. She has decided it. She has DECIDED it. Shut up, Nick, you *know* you wanna go to Halloween with her. Nerd ass.

Nick, flippantly, in the beginning of the book: Mary I have /trust issues/

Nick, upon realizing she was taking that as a personal project: well fuck me running.

Alice... Oh my god nobody's ever stood UP for her. She likes Mary!

Back to studying. Nick and Alice. Yeah. They have this "I know you"/"I refuse to be known" dynamic that flows both ways. They're getting together I'm calling it. Calling it!

Globe, huh? Big traitor? Alice's father is his old teammate? Fuckin SWAG

Alice is opening up? Nick is doing it in return? Fucking knew he didn't have parents tho. Motherless behavior, Nicky.

Defective? Oh, Alice...

Movie night. Uh. Will and Jill, Sasha and Vince. Uh. Zombie movies. Video store? When is this fucking set ???

HaLLOWEE- "Roy was either an ancient gladiator,or a male escort catering to a very specific fetish" i CACKLED

Nick's got some fuckin eyes. I know he does. I don't know what's wrong with them but this Strider mother fucker ain't flying under my radar.

Oh shit, okay, Michael is gonna attack Vince outside. That's not a blatant use of his power or anything. Feels...weird man.

Nick is being a hilarious wingman. Pft. "You realize there's no girls in earshot, right?" "yea them hoes be shutting us down." Wild.

Thomas? Okay, new guy shut this shit down. He's cool. He's a stickler. That's important for later.

Alice would be friends with Adaine Abernant. God. I love her. Autism wins again.

CHAD IS GLOBES KID? yep.

Coach wants to talk to Vince. I looove this. Scared of his own strength. Poor bishop. He has the Eyes! The Paladin Eyes! I say a lot about DH character archetypes but that man makes paladins I want to *love*. I've never met a paladin by him I DIDN'T love.

Vince's dad went to this school? Cool.

Updates to the Dean from Numbers.

Edit to add I think my last addition got deleted. Whatever. Started Nick's backstory flash. It's official, I love the cynic. Happens every time.

#meliveblog #melodys mumblings

[taetaespeaches]

ok i finally watched festa last night

everything I said yesterday I stand by it

held my tears back bc my mom was beside me and i was keeping my cool, but that doesn't mean i get sentimental every 20 minutes

i love them so much, i think what got to me the most is that they officially dont live together anymore, and i love how they talk about their houses, namjoon saying jins is like a married couple house, WELL HE WOULD KNOW AM I RIGHT

i love them, and i feel the "im gonna miss them" but lets remember the "we're gonna rest this christmas", and they made instagrams

guys, they're seven, different music from 7 people, we gonna be busy as hell

im rooting for jimin so hard, i want to kiss him a lot and cuddle the hell out of him

also i want to put jin to bed like id be like "turn off that thing now seokjin! you need to eat something and sleep!" and then "and change those pajamas ffs, there are rj clean ones on the dryer, go!"

imagine sleepover at jungkooks with bangtan:

KOOK: PICK YOUR MATTRESS GUYS

just so they end up sleeping in the same one, also the smallest one

so yeah, we are fine, we get weepy, its fine, its tears of love

I love this reaction :( it's really cute hearing them all talk about each other's places. Love them calling Joon out for keeping his place super clean when he was a slob at the dorm lmao. (my fanfic brain went: thank you daisy). But no literally, we're gonna be so busy and excited during this time there's gonna be so much going on! And I also hope there will be times of nothing going on bc they deserve to rest whenever they fucking want!! But just the idea of them being able to like spend time like normal people and have more control over when they want to work and what projects they want to do like that's fucking exciting!!!!! This is a positive announcement and change, it's just bittersweet bc we love ot7 so much (and so do they!)

Jimin :( I know he's nervous about doing stuff as a solo artist but god that man is incredible and I know he'll do so well. I hope he's feeling good about everything. Also I feel you on Jin lmao when he said all that I wanted to cook him a meal so bad like omg at least eat properly you brat.

We get a little sentimental but we're all ok!! There's just so much love going on <3

#stainofpaint #asks #lydia🤟 #i'm proud of you for holding in your tears lol i don't think i would have been able to even if i was watching with my parents

[starlightshore]

i'm trying to add some elements of literary/film allusions to my work because honestly it's just fucking cool and if someone wanted to analyze things they can try to figure out why it's included. that'd be baller

like, even if the audience doesn't understand why i add these references, they still add a layer of context and meaning that'd the story wouldn't have otherwise. how effective this is i have no idea! but i like to think it adds up.

that said i doubt my small audience (specifically to my new fanfic, i'm sure it'll grow eventually) is going to do so myself. this is probably self conceited but whatever

in chapter 2 i set up some references. spoilers to my fanfic obviously:

first two are set up for brick jokes and those don't fully work as references, but they'll have their own pay off.

Three Stooge Dudes - The Three Stooges. Punchline in a future chapter.

happy birthday cake - it's ironic since Danny's just died. Also missing it's punchline.

Back to the Past - Back to the Future. Foreshadowing this is a time travel story

Not mentioned by title, but the static TV is a reference to Poltergeist. Relevant for obvious reasons but specifically the house has become "haunted" by messing with the (un)dead. Something-something about the suburbs masking the horrors below paralleling making a portal to hell in your basement, to which the Fentons will later exploit without respecting the dead.

Also, they showed this horror movie to an 8 year old (dozens of times since) and said it was "milestone of both culture and science.” which is like, a completely unhinged thing to do frankly

Alfonse Hitchbock's Psychoed - Alfred Hitchcock's Psycho. While the story is famous for it's incest/cross-dressing twist I'm not referencing that specifically. (Danny doesn't even watch the movie past the shower killing) it's more to do with transition from day to night, from "innocence" to the "underbelly" of the world. The scene is what moves us from day (having a childish, happy dinner) to the nigh-time horror about to happen soon.

And, most obviously, it's to build up/reveal the WDTAT incident being a stabbing.

I'll be honest when I started writing the chapter, I was only really inspired by the idea of a time loop. It's been a h/c I've had for this AU for AGES and this was my attempt as incorporating that in a self contained chapter. The symbolic implications of this weren't set out originally, but I realized it near the end of writing. (It was mostly written as a stream of consciousness, a vague idea of beginning-middle-end.)

It's a time loop. Timelines and the breaking of the universe's "rules" by merging the worlds of the living dead etc. that's all very important. the story is about transitioning, questioning the world and once's existence and our place within that.

Danny's repressing his ghost half. He denies his own ghost half and Gate's existence, he ignores the Shadow-Man until he breaks and attacks it. He doesn't embrace it, he alienates it and assumes it's hostile. He's literally destroying and demonizing himself.

I wrote a passage on how like, you can read the ID/ego/super ego reading of Psycho and pull a similar trick to this story, but I'm honestly not the MOSt read on the topic and also hate Freud for being a gross hack. anyway: basement = id = body = ghost half. whatever Danny's repressing id = the living room/kichen. The "normal" Danny he shows to people. superego = brains = bedroom. Danny reasons destroying his ID (ghost form) will purify/moralize his ego.

obviously Psycho's is a lot more twisted and nasty but it's probably(?) the most famous symbolism of the film. while the repression is vastly different, both end in stabbings

The ghost half could represent whatever the reader wants to self-project to. Be it a queer/trans lens, nerodivergency, general "otherness" from main western society. danny's 14, he's dealing with some shit. didn't we all?

#personal stuff #dp talk #i gotta read more so i can make more references you never know what's going to inspire you! #obviously with my background being animation and to a more general sense film i'm going to make reference that more often #BUT i did read some stuff in college and i have a VERY good one for the next chapter but i doubt most would know it #have fun googling that one LOL

[ashlee-bonfamille-lyons]

A Haunting Past {Tiny Dancers}

Nemo’s had enough, and Ashlee still isn’t willing to change.

When: June 5th

Where It All Began: Roommate Trouble {Edric/Ashleigh/Finn} Lingering Anixiety {Finn/Nemo} Tomorrow Doesn’t Change {The Ashley’s}

@justkeepdancing-nemo

Nemo: ashlee wtf was ashleigh q doing in finn’s room? You need to tell her to stay the hell away from him, for real. 

Ashlee: she was doing a project with Edric? But yeah I mean, I kind of told her not to go into his space

Nemo: she doesn’t have to sit at Finn’s desk to do a project Nemo: or touch his things Nemo: or get in his face Nemo: she was there to hurt him on purpose, and you know it.

Ashlee: I know, it’s just I can’t stop her Ashlee: I brought it up to her but what else can I do?

Nemo: … you can tell her she’s wrong, and a bully, and to stop? Nemo: you do think what she did was fucked up right? 

Ashlee: I don’t think she should have done it

Ashlee: But I tried, and it’s not about to change her mind

Ashlee: It’s not going to get her to stop

Nemo: cool Nemo: so… you don’t find that kind of disgusting or what? 

Nemo: because personally if one of my friends had locked you in a box and called you names and stuff, and then they did something like that, i wouldnt want to be around them. Though then again i would have probably told them to fuck off during the whole locked in a box thing lol 

Nemo: or maybe the time when that friend passed rumours around school about your dance partner maybe then id be like huh this person seems really awful i wonder why im friends with them 

Ashlee: She’s been my friend since forever Nemo, I don’t know a time without her, I can’t lose her or any of the girls

Nemo: that’s just so… Nemo: you know what actually. i do get it lol. I get it because i guess that’s me with you, isn’t it? I’ve known you forever, even before finn. I basically learned how to dance with you…in a lot of ways that means you know me better than anyone. Nemo: but on the other hand, not really. On the other hand, ive been making excuses for you forever when i knew in my gut it was kind of wrong honestly. Nemo: you should have seen finny, ashlee. He was so upset. He was shaking. it’s disgusting. If she really means that much to you, fine, okay. Not sure i cant just… pretend to keep looking the other way though 

Ashlee(deleted): So you don’t-

Ashlee: What does that mean?

Nemo: i mean it’s messed up that im friends with you when you’ve hurt finn. I know you didn’t do the worse stuff to him, but let’s not pretend like you weren’t involved in a lot of the teasing and stuff. Maybe if you apologized to him, id feel differently but you havent and i dont even know if you think you need to 

Ashlee: So if I apologized that would make it all fine??

Nemo: it would make things not AWFUL Nemo: at least i wouldn't be ashamed that you were my friend!

Nemo: its not like you’re not ashamed of me anyway. Dont you think thats pretty fucked up too? That you have to hide how close we are? 

Ashlee: The girls know it!

Ashlee: If they didn’t I wouldn’t have even stayed partners with you

Ashlee: I didn’t give you up for them either!

Nemo: yeah im your ‘dance partner’ not your friend. Thats how i talk about you to finn and tae and louie too Nemo: and i feel guilty about it. I feel like im doing something wrong, either to you or to finn, especially. And… after seeing Finn the other day? Like, you KNOW what ashleigh did was wrong, but you’re still defending her! Nemo: i just typed liek five different messages but it all came down to me being a hypocrite lol. Bc i dont think you should be friends with the ashleys anymore, because they hurt people. But im friend with an ashley, who has hurt one of my best friends– who has hurt my /boyfriend./ 

Nemo: i dont want to be that person. Finn deserves better from me. 

Nemo: so yeah… i guess im saying i dont want to be friends with an ashley anymore. If that’s the type of person who you really are, someone who hurts other people and enjoys it, and doesn’t apologize for their mistakes, then we shouldn’t be friends. 

Ashlee: But I haven’t hurt others! I don’t enjoy that!

Ashlee: You can’t expect me to control one of my friends or her actions or even apologize on behalf of her when I had no part in it, how does that make any sense. It’s a useless half hearted apology that doesn’t change anything.

Ashlee: I couldn’t have stopped her then and I can’t stop her now

Ashlee: I am nothing of that text

Nemo: ashlee, c’mon. You can’t be that blind. Maybe you weren’t in charge, maybe you didn’t do the worse stuff, but you did hurt finn, and a lot of other people by letting him get bullied– by encouraging the bullying. Im not talking about just a couple of days ago, i’m talking about all of it. Like when ashleigh threw me in the lake and stole my pixie dust lollllll oh wait you didnt know about that bc i didnt tell you bc i was fucking scared of ashleigh!! Nemo: there are a billion other examples. 

Ashlee: you could have told me

Nemo: i didn’t feel like i could. 

Nemo: that doesnt matter anyway. this is about finn. And he isn’t comfortable with you, either ashlee because of the things you’ve done and your friends have done. I hope you do feel sorry about that, and even if you want to stay friends with the ashleys, you should apologize to him anyway. Not for me. But because its the right thing to do. 

Ashlee: but no matter what, we’re not friends anymore

Nemo: i didnt say that. Nemo: i WANT to be friends. I just cant if you’re gonna be friends with the ashleys when they’ll never stop bullying people. But if you stop that, and if you apologize to finn, then maybe. 

Ashlee: even if all your friends hate me no matter what

Nemo: if finn forgives you Nemo: and i’ll do my best to vouch that you’ve changed but i mean it is up to him. He’s the one who was hurt for years and years 

Ashlee: no offense nemo, your friends are never going to forgive me. Whether I make that move or not. Whether I do what’s right or not. Whether you vouch for me or whatever. I’m the devil basically because I’ve been with them my whole life. If our friendship is based on that, it’s probably best we cut it here.

Nemo: i dont think like that. My friends are good people. They’ve never bullied anyone, and they care about me and my happiness too, just like i care about theirs. Maybe you’re right, maybe it will take some time, but i believe they will forgive you if you really are sorry Nemo: i think they’d even like you if you let them get to know the real you 

Ashlee: Optimism at its finest.

Nemo: yeah well thats me. 

Nemo: [deleted] do you at least understand why i have to do this? 

Nemo: if our friendship ends here though, i still hope you find other people besides the ashleys. You deserve friends that embrace you for how you are, not if you agree with them or follow what they say. You deserve friends that make you laugh and feel safe - like ian and tony and mr. simba and berlioz. I’ll always hope those things for you 

Ashlee: I’m sorry and I do mean that. I don’t know if I would have survived the past few years without you. I wish you absolutely everything that you want. I know you’re going to go far and do so much good for the world, in dance and just in general. You deserve the best and I hope it finds you.

Ashlee: But I just don’t know if I can leave them.

Nemo: see when you say something like that… i dunno. It kind of sounds like you want to leave them but you’re scared. and friends don’t make friends scared. 

Nemo: i wish i could do more to help you but i cant with this. I just hope you make the best decision for yourself. and i’ll miss you ashlee 

#justkeepdancing nemo

[watchmegetobsessed]

SAFE AND SOUND

a/n: this one took a little longer to write, but im so happy its finally finished! its not what i originally planned, i started a whole different plot but hated it so started again, but i might go back to the first story, so maybe more bodyguard!harry content is gonna come! anyway, hope you’ll enjoy this one!

pairing: Bodyguard!Harry X Reader

warning: use of weapon (no one dies), mentioning of cancer (no one is sick), sexual content

word count: 9.1k

masterlist

“This is not up for discussion, Y/N. What you are doing and what you are about to achieve soon might upset a lot of people that hold great power. We can’t just assume you’ll be fine, walking around like anyone else in the world.”

Your boss, Julian explains it to you, leaning onto his desk, trying his best to keep his cool about your protest to get you a guard to watch out for you and keep you safe. It’s been an ongoing struggle and fight you two have been having these past weeks and it became a burning situation since you’ve made some major progress in your project.

“I’m not some kind of royalty to have security with me all the time,” you grumble rolling your eyes.

“Not just royalties have guards, Y/N. Just accept it, that you’re valuable, your work is very important not just to our company but to the whole world. Do you not realize how big it is? You are close to having the cure to cancer, Y/N! You can easily get a Nobel-prize for that!”

“I know that it’s important, but no one knows me, no one will see me on the street and know who I am or what I do!”

“It’s not about the people on the street. The world is a dark place, darker than you could imagine. Please, just… I want to know that you’re safe.”

Staring back at him with your arms folded on your chest you contemplate his words. You can see the rationality in his words, it’s just that you don’t want to break your routine, you don’t want people around you all the time, you don’t want to end your privacy like that. But Julian is right, your work is important and there have already been a few attempts to steal your researches, but they miserably failed. However that doesn’t mean they will be stopped the next time as well.

“One guard,” you speak up. “Just one. I’m not gonna have a whole fucking team,” you tell him raising your eyebrows. He lets out a relieved sigh, a tiny smile tugging on his lips.

“I was hoping you’d say that.” Reaching out to the phone he presses the buzzer that signals to his assistant, Monica outside and a few moments later she walks in, accompanied with a tall, suited man, his green eyes immediately falling to you upon entering the room.

“Y/N, I took the courage to pick him out for you myself. This is Harry Styles, the best you can find in the city if not in the country,” Julian introduces him as he pushes himself away from his giant mahogany desk, walking closer to the man as they shake hands firmly. You stand up from the armchair you’ve been sinking into these past ten minutes and unsurely hold out your hand to the man.

“Harry Styles, pleasure to meet you,” he introduces himself, a thick British accent lacing through his voice and the way his green irises stare back at you, you can feel your heart fluttering in your chest. Mr. Styles is undeniably the most charming and handsome man you’ve ever met, with his perfectly carved cheekbones and chiseled jawline, pink lips and those enchanting green eyes framed by his thick lashes. There’s something in his appearance, something feminine, but still, he holds so much masculinity at the same time, it’s hard not to be enamored by him.

“Y/N Y/L/N,” you mumble your name, shaking his hand slightly before letting go of it.

“Details about your cooperation have already been discussed with the security agency and us, but of course, your word is what counts, so we’ll walk over the whole plan with you as well,” Julian explains to you and you nod shortly.

The three of you move to the conference room and the next hour goes by with working those so called details out, some of them are ridiculous, some of them you can get used to, at the end you are left with a somewhat bearable plan, but one thing is for sure. Harry Styles will be a big part of your life from now on.

THREE MONTHS LATER

The tiny pack of sugar tears open in your hands, but you put too much effort into it so the countertop is now covered with the content of the pack instead of ending up in your paper cup.

“Fuck,” you growl, dumping the empty pack into the trash before grabbing another one, hoping it won’t end up the same way.

“Let me help you,” a smooth, male voice speaks up next to you and Harry grabs the pack from your hands as he places his own coffee to the counter. You let him tear the pack open easily, pouring the sugar into your drink without problem before he puts the lid back to your cup.

“Thank you,” you mumble, closing your tired eyes for a split second. You’ve been overworking way too much these past weeks, it’s starting to shut your system down, but you don’t want to rest, not when you’re so close to finishing your project.

The past two weeks have been major, you finally made the progress you’ve been working towards for months now, letting you step into the last phase of your work finally. But it’s been a quite stressful time as you’ve been eager to finish as soon as possible, but that meant little to no time spent outside of your lab.

Harry shoots you a reassuring smile before you both grab your drinks and head out of the café in the direction of your workplace.

The past three months were one hell of a ride when it comes to Harry. You didn’t hide your dislike towards his continuous presence in your life, standing by your side wherever you went. It frustrated you, made you feel like you didn’t have your freedom any longer even though he never did anything to make you hate him. He was considerate, respectful and only wanted to do his job, yet you still gave him a hard time at the beginning, right until the need for his work was proved.

Two months ago someone broke into your apartment while you were out, they searched through the whole place, looking for something. Well, not just something, they were clearly interested in anything connected to your research, but luckily, you’re not dumb enough to just let these stuff lay around your home.

Even though you didn’t encounter the person responsible for it, the incident still shook your up. Knowing that someone could get into your personal space so easily, that they could have come at a time when you were home and vulnerable, it scared you. Harry was the person that eased the worry and fear in you, he took care of everything in an instant and upon his best advice, you moved to a new apartment with a higher security level. He even moved to the place next to yours so he could be as close to you as possible at all times. There was a much needed shift in your relationship after that and you didn’t see him as an intruder any longer in your life, but more as a hero.

“So would you like Italian or Mexican tonight for dinner?” Harry asks as the two of you enter the building, using your IDs you go through the massive security gates, the guards in post nodding in your way.

“Isn’t it your night to choose?” you smile at him sideways as you wait for the elevator.

“Okay, then Thai,” he smirks, making you laugh. “Hope you are not planning on eating it here again,” he gives you a warning look and you purse your lips.

“I have a lot to do, and—“

“Y/N, you need to rest sometimes,” he scolds you as if you were just a child.

“I do rest. Sometimes,” you answer with an innocent look as the elevator’s door slides open and you walk in with Harry following you right behind.

“Like once a week? Do you even sleep when you’re at home?”

“I do! Don’t make me look like I’m some kind of crazy workaholic!”

“I’m just worried about you, is all,” he sighs, giving you a hard look.

“Oh, Mr. Styles. If I didn’t know you better I would think you might have a soft spot for me,” you smirk at him teasingly before the elevator arrives to your floor and you walk out without a word. Harry just stares after you with a small smile tugging on his lips as he thinks about your words. It’s funny, especially because you both know something more than just a professional relationship has been going on between the two of you, only dancing around it as the situation is a little too complicated to address now.

It’s not like any rules are tying you down, but you would rather not mix up work with your private life. You might have feelings for Harry, but you refuse to act up on them until he is out of his duty as your personal guard.

Your days are usually the same. While you lock yourself up in your lab, working with no end, Harry stay either with you in there or he hovers around the door, keeping an eye on everyone and everything. Just the thought of his presence never fails to bring you a sense of comfort, knowing that you don’t have to worry about your safety until he is near. It might seem nerdy, but you can easily get lost in your work. It doesn’t feel like a job, growing up with parents who were excellent doctors and pharmacists themselves, you were doomed to be a science enthusiast yourself from the beginning. Learning has never been a task for you but a gift, as you liked to look at it.

Working overtime happens often because you lose touch with time easily once you get down to work. Nothing exists outside of your lab and you hardly realize how late it is until Harry usually warns you.

“I didn’t joke when I said I didn’t want to have dinner in here,” he steps into your sanctuary while you’re in the middle of running tests for the millionth time today. Pushing your glasses up to the top of your head while the machines are buzzing and whirling, you look up at him with a tired smile.

“Let me just… finish this one last test and then I promise we’ll head out.”

“Alright, but I’m watching you. No more tests,” he warns, sitting on one of the stools while you finish what you started.

Harry never really asked you about your work, for a while you weren’t even sure if he knows what you’re doing and why it’s so important. It was never discussed at the beginning and he never brought it up later either. But judging from the time he spends near you at the lab he must have picked up a few things about it surely.

The machines stop working and the tiny beeping sound signals that the results are out. You grab the long printed paper and start scanning the data, chewing on your bottom lip as you hope to find what you’ve been looking for all day. The numbers are coming in great, but it’s been like this for a while, it’s the end that never matches up with your expectations. So when you get there and see the graphs showing the result that you’ve been dreaming of since the start of the whole project years ago, your mouth falls open in disbelief even though it’s what you’ve been working for all this time.

“Oh my God,” you whisper.

“What?” Harry’s head snaps up in alert, jumping off the stool.

“I… I did it,” you breathe out, glancing up from the paper. “It’s my first time succeeding, Harry!” you start laughing, the shock taking over your whole body that you really did it this time.

“And what does that mean?”

“Come on, let me show you,” you tell him in excitement, pulling him over to the computer where you pull up all the data you’ve been working on. A virtual version of a cell comes up on the screen as you start typing, modelling what you want to show him. “This is a completely healthy cell, it’s what you are made of too, mostly,” you ass with a chuckle before another cell comes up on the screen. “And this is what cells that are affected by cancer look like.”

The difference is a lot more complicated than what you can explain to him in such a short time, but he can see it with his own eyes. The color, the shape, everything is different from the first one. Harry examines the screen and nods shortly, letting you know that he is following.

“I’ve been working on a substance that is able to not just detect the cancerous cells but it can also kill it effectively without hurting the healthy ones.”

You bring up the virtualized version of the substance you’ve been working on, a short animation showing how it can tell the two cells apart and only attack the cancerous one.

“I haven’t been able to get the numbers above 60% when it comes to succeeding in the process of selection so my whole project was about finding a solution to that. I’ve been trying to find the right substance to mix with our already existing one to solve the problem, but I haven’t been successful in it.”

“I assume until now,” Harry hum and you nod smirking.

“Yeah. The last test results came back very good, quite promising. It’s still not the end of the process, but it’s a huge step.”

“That’s great,” he smiles at you and though you know he probably understands just a fracture of the whole process, he can still figure out how important it is. “Congrats, Y/N.” “Thanks,” you breathe out, pride filling your chest as you shut the computer off. “I guess this is my cue to end the day,” you smile at him before packing up everything, getting ready to finally leave.

It’s not the first time Harry is spending the evening at your place. You often have dinner together, or watch a movie whenever you get home early enough to do that. Through the time you’ve spent together because of his job you’ve grown to be friends above everything. Good ones, in fact, which is a big deal for you since making friends has never been an easy task for you.

You bought takeout on the way home and as Harry set the table you poured yourself a glass of wine, knowing well Harry would never drink when he is on duty and he is basically working all the time he is with you, so you’re drinking alone. You both sit to the dining table, starting dinner together in a comfortable silence. It’s another thing you appreciate about Harry. He doesn’t try to talk when it’s not necessary, you hate small talk, you’d rather sit in silence than talk about something nonsense and Harry is a partner in that.

“When do you need to leave work tomorrow to get to the party on time?” he asks breaking the silence and you freeze. His eyes fall on you, examining your features for a moment before he smirks. “You forgot about it?”

“I just… thought it’s going to be next week,” you truthfully admit.

“We talked about it last week,” he smirks at you playfully. “And I told you it would be next week which is… this week.”

“I know how the days work, Harry,” you give him a look of ‘give me a break’ before you turn back to your food. “I just…”

“You just forgot it,” Harry finishes for you, and you just roll your eyes at him.

Glancing at him over the table you wonder if he’ll wear something different than is usual attire he always wears. Black suit with a white shirt underneath, the top two buttons left undone, giving you a tiny peek at the tattoos on his chest. You know those are not the only ones, you’ve seen him with the suit jacket off before, the sleeves of his shirt rolled up, his whole left arm is covered in ink and you wish you’ve had the chance to take a better look at them.

Harry is such an intriguing person in a lot of different ways. He definitely likes to keep things to himself, not one to ask for attention and it’s not just because of his work, it’s his personality. However he is good with people, interacting with them, being social. A skill you haven’t really mastered yourself yet and you probably never will. He always seems to know what to say, you’ve never seen him even the slightest bit anxious or nervous before, the confidence he holds is unmatched and it makes it hard to not think about him in ways you shouldn’t be.

After dinner he helps you clean up, just like he always does before heading out, but before he could leave he stops and turns back to face you.

“Oh, a friend of mine is visiting from the UK on Sunday. I already mentioned it to you before, but I was hoping I could get the afternoon off,” he wonders and you nod right away.

“Of course! I’ll be just fine at home,” you smile at him.

“Thank you,” he smiles back before walking out of your place at last.

Because of the party in the evening you are forced to stop working early the next day. It’s weird to leave the office in broad daylight, but you know today can’t be one of those days when you end up seeing the new day in the lab.

Harry was right yesterday, you completely forgot the whole party thing, meaning you didn’t plan anything ahead and you had nothing to wear, so through the day you called your sister, Mara to help you out. She was more than happy to lend you anything you needed. She meets you at the office, beaming to spend some time with you finally. It’s not that you don’t like her company, but you are quite different, is all. Your sister didn’t get sucked into the world of science, though she definitely has the bright mind to take up on any field she would want to explore. But she was more into the world of art, having written her first fantasy novel at the ripe age of twenty, she is now a bestseller author at only twenty-nine with a bubbly personality and basically every trait you never owned yourself.

“Harry! So nice to see you again!” Mara beams at the man as the three of you meet up at the lobby.

“Hi, Mara,” Harry smiles with a tiny nod.

“Alright, I have everything you could need so let’s head to yours!” your sister cheers before you make your way out to your cars.

Arriving to your home Harry splits from the two of you, letting you to get ready in peace and also to get ready himself. Mara didn’t joke when she said she has everything you need, the trunk of her car is basically filled with clothes and shoes, there’s no chance you won’t find something to wear tonight.

She orders you to take a quick shower as she unpacks everything she brought and when you emit from a cloud of steam with a towel wrapped around your body and one on your head, Mara gets down to work.

“So do you have a date for today?” she curiously asks while she does your makeup.

“Huh, yeah, sure,” you huff ironically. “It’s just gonna be Harry and me.”

“So Harry is your date?” her ears perk up, but you’re quick to protest.

“Of course not! He comes with me everywhere,” you mumble with your eyes closed as she is doing something on your eyelids.

“But it could be a date,” she offers and you huff in disagreement.

“You know that’s not how it works, Mara.”

“You are making it more complicated than it is! No one would blame you if you just… went for it! Harry is obviously an attractive guy.”

“Then maybe you should date him,” you bite back bitterly. Growing up you weren’t the boys’ favorite, they always paid all the attention to your sister. It’s not that you blame her or them, she always had a more capturing and lively personality that attracted people naturally. But it made you wonder if there was something wrong with you, spending all your time with your nose buried in a book or doing researches for fun while Mara was out with her friends, living her best life. Even her published books were inspired by her personal life experiences.

“Y/N,” she sighs, her hands leaving your face so you open your eyes to look at her disapproving expression. “You obviously like him so I would never do that and besides that, he for sure likes you too.”

“What’s not true,” you deny right away, but then you look at her curiously. “But why would you think that?”

Mara smirks at you tilting her head to the side, seeing right through your act that you’re not interested in Harry. Of course you are, but you choose to keep it at bay for the sake of his job.

“Y/N, I see how that man watches every move you make. It’s written all over his handsome face.”

“Of course he watches my every move, that’s his job!”

“No, it’s different. You’ll see it sooner or later,” she smiles before ordering you to close your eyes again so she can finish your makeup.

Mara does wonders to your looks, the makeup look she does on you already makes a huge difference since you don’t bother to do anything on your every days. But she didn’t stop there, she made your hair look like you just stepped off of the pages of a magazine and the dress the two of you chose was the cherry on the top. The emerald green dress was tight around your curves, showing just enough of your body to be still considered modest, but also have some spice. And though there are a lot of advantages of the dress, your first and most important thought (to you at least) was how well it goes with the color of Harry’s eyes.

“I’m a genius,” Mara sighs satisfied with her work as you slip on the pair of nude heels and put your necessities into the little clutch you’re taking with you. Just when you’re gone with everything, the doorbell rings and your heart jumps in your chest, knowing that Harry is standing on the other side of the door.

“I’ll get it for you,” Mara smiles rushing to the door as you walk into the hallway, standing a few feet behind her so as she opens the front door and Harry comes into view, over Mara’s shoulder his eyes easily find your figure standing there, feeling a little awkward and self-conscious, like you are about to go to prom with your crush. Difference is that you are not a teenager anymore and you aren’t going anywhere together together. Tonight is just work for him.

But as his bright green eyes fall on your frame and you see his lips slightly part, you can’t help but allow yourself to think for a moment that it’s more than just work. That he feels the same way about it as you do. Though you don’t voice your hopes and just smile at him faintly, hoping you don’t look completely ridiculous in your outfit.

“Harry, come on in!” Mara invites him into the apartment and he walks in, wearing his usual black suit with the difference of having a tie on around his neck, his white shirt is appearing neat and crispy and his sometimes unruly curls are now gently combed back a little so his curls are not falling into his forehead.

“Hi,” you smile at him nervously fumbling with your clutch as he takes a few steps closer to you.

“Hi. You look… beautiful,” he smiles back at you a little breathlessly as he takes a respectful look down your body before his green irises meet your gaze again.

“Thank you. You look great too,” you chuckle softly. “Should we… head out?”

“Yeah, sure!” he nods, offering you his arm and you link your arm with his instantly, hoping you won’t trip in your heels. “Lock the door when you leave, Mara, alright?” you call out to your sister who is watching you smiling.

“Sure! Have fun!”

You wave at her one last time before walking out and shutting the door closed behind you.

This party is held every year at Pharma-Z, mostly this is the time when the brain meets the money. Investors and funders like to meet the people behind the million dollars researches from time to time and this is the occasion where both sides show up. Julian always asks you to be social and try to mingle, but the whole thing feels forced and painful for you. You’d rather just be left alone with your researches and projects without having to schmooze to the people who give you the money for your hard work.

It’s held at one of said investors’ luxurious penthouse, that doesn’t even look like someone’s home with the huge outdoors infinity pool, the spacious and modern interiors and the expensive looking decoration that was put up just for the occasion.

“Y/N! I’m so happy you are here!” Julian approaches you with a drink in his hands and you’re happy to see a familiar face in the crowd. You don’t really know others from work, only your little team you directly work with and of course, your boss, Julian.

“It’s not like I had a choice,” you chuckle giving him a short, friendly hug. Julian is far from a nightmare of a boss some people have to face at their job. He is an actually nice and very smart and intellectual person. The pharmaceutical industry can be harsh and dark, the competition between the businesses is way more intent than people think. This is why you need the protection. Some companies profit off of the fact that cancer has no cure yet. They make money from all the treatments that doesn’t even guarantee full recovery. A lot of big fish don’t want the cure, because that would make them lose a good chunk of their income and some of those would even go to the depth of hurting you for being so close to ruining their business with your invention. Pharma-Z is luckily a genuine company that wants to help sick people and that’s why you’re working there.

“You know how important it is for the company,” Julian sighs, but he understands how uncomfortable these events make you feel, though he can do nothing to help you. “Harry, nice to see you again,” he smiles at the man by your side.

“Julian, nice to see you too,” he nods, shaking hands with your boss.

“Mingle a little so people can see and meet you, alright?” Julian requests and you just nod silently before he moves on to the next group of people.

You get yourself a drink to ease your nerves a little as people start approaching you. Some of them you’ve met last year, but there are a lot of new faces. Your project has brought in quite a few new sponsors and investors and now they want to meet you and talk about the research their money is going into.

You try your best to keep a smile plastered across your face as you tell the people the same thing over and over again, receiving praise and compliments on your work before moving onto the next conversation just to start over again.

You can feel your social batteries running out, not sure you can put up with another conversation with a wealthy investor who wants you to know you have a job because they gave money for your project in hopes of you bringing more money to them.

Harry has stayed by your side the whole evening, and you didn’t notice but he kept examining you every few minutes to make sure you were holding up and he noticed how tired you’ve grown from socializing for so long.

“Y/N,” he softly calls out, his palm finding the small of your back. “Why don’t we get some fresh air?” he kindly offers and you immediately understand that he is trying to get you away from the guests and the overwhelming conversations you’ve been dealing with. Nodding you let him usher you outside, finding a spot where the two of you can be a little alone.

“I fucking… hate small talks and being nice to everyone,” you let out a long and heavy sigh, as you lean against the railing, paying just one short glance at the city’s bright lights under your feet. Harry chuckles shortly.

“I figured. You’ve been chewing your lips so hard I was afraid you’d start bleeding.”

Now that he has brought your attention to it, you realize you are doing it again, so you let go of your bottom lip from between your teeth and it brings out another chuckle from Harry.

“I’m just… not good with these… social stuff.”

“I disagree with that,” he hums, furrowing his eyebrows.

“Oh please, if you haven’t realized it, my number of zero friends is a tell, I think.”

“Come on, it’s not zero. You’re friends with Mara.”

“But family doesn’t count, she is kind of forced to be my friend,” you shrug, making him laugh.

“Okay, but I’m your friend too, aren’t I?” You furrow your eyebrows at him.

“You spend time with me because it’s your job.”

His eyes soften on you as he leans against the railing next to you, looking so effortlessly handsome and charming, you almost need to take a deep breath at the sight of him. And the cheeky smile on his pink lips is definitely not helping your case.

“I know you didn’t mean that. You’re a smart woman, Y/N.” Reaching out he tugs a loose strand of hair behind your ear as he inches closer a tiny bit. “I think we stepped over the line of just work.”

“So… you consider me your friend?” you ask shyly.

“If you have to ask maybe I’ve been doing something wrong,” he chuckles softly, making you smile too. Folding your arms a shiver runs down your spine from the cold evening breeze. “Are you cold?” Harry asks, but before you could even say a word, he shrugs his jacket off and drapes it over your shoulders.

“Oh, thank you,” you breathe out shyly.

“Do you want another drink?”

“Yeah, I think I might need another one,” you chuckle and nodding he tells you to just stay there until he gets you a new one.

Turning towards the view, you enjoy the lonely moments for a little, not too keen on going back inside and keep up the façade of interest any longer. You’d rather just head home, maybe have another drink with Harry on your couch while you watch a rerun of whatever show is on TV and then fall asleep after a hot shower. You’ve been working way too much lately and it’s just now crashing down on you. Next week you definitely should cut back on your hours at the lab, the project is already going amazing, it won’t hurt if you actually had some rest before you lose your mind.

You hear footsteps approaching you and you think it’s Harry returning, but as you turn around you are faced with a stranger, a man who is staring down at you with bloodshot eyes and… a gun pointed at you.

Your breath hitches, your blood freezing in your veins at the sight and your legs almost give up underneath you.

“What… who are you?” Your voice comes out as a whisper, tears already flooding your eyes as you melt against the railing as if you had anywhere to go, but you have no chance against him.

One glance at the gun allows you to see that it has a silencer on, with the music coming from inside and no one around, if he shoots you, he’ll be able to get away before anyone realizes what happened.

The man doesn’t answer, just holds up the gun, aiming right at your chest and you close your eyes, thinking that this is it. This is how your life ends, in the middle of a posh party with no one around to help you. Your lips are trembling and hands are shaking as you hold onto the railing, waiting for the inevitable to come, keeping your eyes shut, not wanting to see your killer as the last thing you see before you go.

And then you hear the muffled gunshot, making you scream in fear, your knees turning into jelly, but the pain never comes. Instead, you hear grunting and growling as a body falls to the ground in front of you.

Your eyes snap open and you see Harry straddling the man, the gun lying near your attacker’s hand and he is trying to reach it, but before he could, you kick it away as Harry throws a punch at his face that stops him from trying too hard to free himself.

The next few moments are so busy and blurry at the same time. Your legs give up underneath you, making you fall to the ground, your whole body shaking in waves. In the meantime Harry gets the man into a position where he can be easily controlled and people start flooding out at the scene, helping Harry while security working at the party take the man, the police already on its way.

When Harry can finally step back from the attacker, his eyes fall on your figure and he rushes over to you, kneeling down next to your trembling body, cradling you into his arms upon seeing how shaken up you are.

“Hey, it’s alright. It’s over, you’re alright,” he murmurs, holding you tight as your fists grab onto his shirt, your breathing is uneven, the oxygen barely makes its way into your lungs as you’re panting and gasping from the shock. “Come on, let’s get you inside, Y/N,” he gently tells you, helping you up from the floor even though your body feels like a pile of brick.

You can feel everyone staring at you, whispering behind your back as you try to hide in Harry’s arms while he walks you back inside, away from the man that tried to take your life. He walks you into one of the bathrooms and closing the lid he sits you down to the toilet while he grabs a towel and wetting it he kneels in front of you, tapping the cloth to your cheeks gently. You haven’t even realized that you’ve been sweating from the shock and the coldness feels amazing against your burning skin.

“I’m sorry,” you mumble, but not even you are sure why.

“Nothing to be sorry for, Y/N,” he gently murmurs, giving your hand a squeeze as you shut your eyes closed. He grabs a glass from one of the cabinets and fills it with water handing it over to you.

“Thank you,” you mumble, bringing it to your trembling lips, but before you could drink it, your eyes snap up to meet his gaze. “And thank you for… what you did.” Your voice dies down at the end, the picture of the man pointing the gun at you still living so vividly in your mind.

“No need, it’s my job after all, right?” he chuckles softly, making your lips twitch the slightest bit before you start sipping on the water.

The police show up soon and they arrest the man who refuses to talk. They also request you to give your statement about what happened, but Harry manages to let you just give them the brief story and go in sometime soon to give them your full statement so you don’t have to spend any more time there. They are quite sure the man was hired by someone who doesn’t want you to finish your project, and it’s scary how far some people are willing to go just for the money, just to keep sick people in suffering for their own benefit.

Heading home you stay silent as Harry drives, staring out the window you let the nightlights of the city pass by you while you still see the same face, the face of the man that held a gun at you tonight. The gunshot is still ringing through your ears, it was so close, so real… of course it was real! All of it was real and your life was on the line. If it weren’t for Harry, you wouldn’t be here right now.

Arriving to your home Harry helps you out of the car and you cling onto his hand as you head up to the apartment. He keys the two of you into your home, flicking the lights on and looking around before you go further inside, just to be sure.

“It’s all clear, don’t worry,” he murmurs as you nod and make your way into the bedroom. Kicking your heels off your feet you sit on the edge of the bed, letting out a long breath, feeling your limbs loosening up a bit for the first time in the past hour.

Harry moves around the place doing whatever before he joins you in the room, kneeling in front of you his hands find your bare knees and your eyes meet his worry-filled green irises.

“Do you want to take a shower?” he softly asks and you nod your head. “Come on, I’ll start the water for you.”

He helps you up from the bed and walks you into the bathroom. You stand there awkwardly, not sure what to do as he starts running the water in the walk in shower before he steps back to you.

“Would you…?” you ask, turning around, needing help with the zipper of your dress. Harry clears his throat as his fingers work on it and a moment later the fabric loosens around your frame as you hold it to your chest with your arms. Turning back around you peek up at Harry and you notice the slight blush on his cheeks.

“I’ll be outside at the door, okay?” He whispers, his fingers delicately touching your cheek as you nod before you watch him walk out and close the door behind him.

The hot water feels freshening, like it could burn away the memories even though it’s still so vivid in your mind. You stand under the running water longer than you intended, but it feels nice and needed. Once you’re done, you wrap yourself into a fluffy towel and walk out of the steamy bathroom only to find Harry sitting at the edge of your bed, waiting like a loyal puppy. When he sees you, he stands from his spot and you don’t miss the way his eyes scan over your body that’s barely covered.

“Alright, I’ll go now, but if you—“ “Don’t!” you gasp, panic taking over you at the thought of being left alone. One of your hands grasps his arm to stop him from moving and he freezes in his spot, staring back at your fearful eyes. “Please, stay here,” you plead, voice barely over than just a whisper.

There’s a heartbeat of a pause in him as he is watching you intently and for a moment you think he’ll say no, but then his hand finds yours on his arm and he gives it a gentle squeeze as he nods.

“Okay.”

You let out a long, relieved breath as you ease into comfort. He’s staying, he’ll be with you all night, protecting you from everything and everyone.

“Can I take a shower too?” he asks softly and you nod, stepping to your wardrobe to get him a clean towel. “Thank you. I’ll be back shortly,” he tells you before walking into the bathroom and shutting the door closed behind him.

You hear the water running again and you find yourself standing at the same spot as you listen to the noises coming from the bathroom. Harry is in there, soaking under the water naked and you can’t take your mind off of how badly you want to be there with him.

It’s not just because of what happened tonight, though it made you realize that you don’t have much time to waste. Nothing can assure that you’ll live another day and you don’t want to deny happiness from yourself. You want to be with Harry and as far as you can make it out, he feels the same way.

Upon a sudden decision, you pad your way over to the bathroom door and open it carefully, the warmth immediately hitting your face as you step inside and close it behind you. The glass of the shower is steamed up, you can only make out the blurry frame of Harry in there and you wonder if he heard you come in, but it doesn’t seem like that. His clothes from the night are lying on the floor in a pile, his watch that he always wears is carefully placed next to the sink.

Your hands grab onto the edge of the towel around your body and you unwrap yourself, hanging it up on the wall before stepping to the shower. Hoping you won’t scare him, you open the door, the steam immediately hugging your naked body warmly and you see him standing there with his back facing you as you step into the spacious walk-in shower.

He notices your presence, you see him freeze mid-movement before he peeks over his shoulder, his eyes falling on you as he slowly turns, facing you completely. Standing in front of him completely bare, you feel more vulnerable than ever in your life. You’re scared that he is going to send you away, that he won’t let you get closer to him and if that happens, you’ll feel humiliated, but he just stands there in his naked glory and doesn’t say anything, so you take it as a chance to shoot your shot.

Reaching up your hands slide to his hard chest, up to the base of his neck as you push your front against his, skin to skin with the hot water running down your bodies. His hands find your waist and you could cry from the feeling of his touch on you. Pushing yourself up to your tiptoes your nose nudges against his as your eyes fall closed.

“Y/N,” he breathes out, stopping you right when your lips could meet. Opening your eyes you see the hesitation in his green irises that appear so much darker than they usually do.

“Do you not want it? You don’t want me?” you whisper.

“I do. It’s not that,” he sighs shaking his head slightly. “But you went through a lot today. I don’t want you to make decisions you might regret in the morning.”

You can’t help the small smile that tugs on your lips at how considerate and protective he is over you, thinking that this might be just something that crashed over you in the heat of the moment, but it’s been in the making from the first day you met him. Despite all your protesting against him, you knew you needed him and not just as your guard. He is what’s been missing from your life all along, you just never realized it.

“There’s nothing I could regret when it comes to you, Harry. I needed tonight to open my eyes. Our days are counted, I’m done running from my own happiness.”

He lets out a long, shaky breath as his hands hold tighter onto your waist while your hands run up his neck until your fingers tangle into his wet locks.

“I need you. And not just because of tonight. I’ve always needed you.”

“I’m here, Y/N. I’m all yours,” he breathes out before his lips smash against yours all wet and hard, but it’s the most heavenly feeling you’ve ever experienced.

You become a mess, tangled in each other, lips melting together as your hands explore naked limbs and torsos, bodies pressing tightly against each other shamelessly. Harry walks you backwards until your back hits the cold tile and you let out a whimper as you arch your back at the sudden feeling, just as his head dips down, lips attacking your neck, kissing and nibbling on the soft skin. Your light leg lifts as his hands wander down your thigh, your hips pressing together and you feel how hard he is, his cock pushed against your other thigh, making you moan at the feeling. Reaching down you blindly wrap a hand around the base, giving him a few slow pumps, earning a guttural growl from him before his lips return to yours, kissing you hard and filled with passion. His hands are all over you, on your thighs, ass, back and chest, as if he was mapping your whole body wanting to remember how every inch feels under his touch.

Without tearing his lips away from yours, he blindly reaches behind him, shutting the water off before urging you to jump into his arms, legs wrapping around his waist. He carries you out of the shower, placing you to the counter next to the sink as he stands between your legs, his hands once again finding your breasts as they knead them, making you whimper and shake under his touch. It’s euphoric and addictive, you already know you won’t be able to go a day without feeling him against you like this.

“Bed?” he breathes out against your mouth and you nod eagerly. Reaching to the side he grabs a towel, wrapping it around you, tapping and squeezing you to dry you off, throwing fits of giggles when you grab it and wrap it around his body as well.

The towel falls to the floor abandoned and forgotten as he lifts you off the counter and brings you to the bed, laying you down and holding himself up above you with one arm. His other hand cups your cheek and turning your head you kiss his palm gently, eyes glued to his as he settles between your legs.

“Are you sure about this?” he breathes out, his lips dancing against your cheek and the corner of your mouth.

“Yes! Harry, please!” you beg with a whimper, your whole body aching to feel him inside you.

“I’ve got you, I’ve got you, love,” he kisses you as his hand leaves your heated face, runs down your naked body until his fingers reach your throbbing clit.

He slides two digits through your already wet folds, but just to work you up even more he starts drawing circles on your bud, turning you into a whimpering mess underneath him. Your fingers dig into the lean muscles on his back, feeling them twitch from his movements and one hand sliding down to his ass, grabbing a handful of him while pushing him closer to you, his erection pressing against your core.

“Harry, I need you!” you moan, not able to contain yourself any longer. You need to feel him, you need him as close as possible.

Reaching over to your nightstand you grab a condom from the drawer, ripping the package open with your teeth before you carefully grab his erection and roll the condom down his length, ready to finally feel him inside you.

He flicks his fingers on your clit one last time before his hand wraps around the base of his cock, giving it a few pumps while his soft lips kiss down your jawline and throat, his face hiding in the crook of his neck. Your arms circle around his shoulders, your chest heaving from the sensation as he positions himself just right, the tip teasing your hole. Harry lifts his head up, his bright eyes finding your gaze just as he sinks into you, filling you up perfectly.

“H-Harry! Fuck—“ you gasp at the feeling, your walls stretching around his thick cock as he stays still for a few moments, letting you adjust to his size.

You draw your legs up, giving you more space to go deeper as he starts thrusting, sliding in and out of you oh so perfectly, inching you closer to your relief with each movement. You cup his face in your hands, staring into his eyes as if you could see his soul in them and for a split second, you feel like you actually do. His lips are parted and the cross pendant is grazing your chest while he fucks into you, never falling out of his rhythm.

You want to beg to him not to stop, to keep moving and moving, but no words can leave your mouth as your back arches, your orgasm building up in the pit of your stomach. You start grinding your hips in sync with his, allowing him to reach deeper into you, making your toes curl from pleasure.

“Harry, I’m gonna—I-I’m gonna—Ah!” You can’t make up one coherent sentence as your legs start shaking, feeling your orgasm taking over your body.

“I know, baby. Let it go. Let me make you feel good,” he pants, his lips kissing you everywhere he can reach, your lips smashing against each other in a messy kiss, your tongue meeting his in the middle just when you reach your high.

You moan and cry out his name, fingers digging into his flesh as you chase your release. Seeing you fall apart underneath him is enough to throw him over the edge, spilling himself into the condom as his mouth hangs agape, your name falling off his tongue as if it was the holiest glorification. Combing your fingers through his hair you hold him to your chest as he collapses on top of you, his head lying on your naked chest as you both try to catch your breath in the sudden silence that came over you without the sounds of your passion.

Rolling off of your body he slips out of you, an empty feeling taking over you right away, but he is quick to cradle you into his arms to keep the intimacy. You lay your head to his chest, a thin layer of sweat covering the both of you, but you couldn’t care less. You listen to his steady heartbeat as you draw one of the swallows on his chest with your finger, running it over the lines of the ink. You want to soak in the moment and stay in it for as long as possible, but you can barely keep your eyes open. As Harry’s fingers are gently running up and down your bare back you let your eyes close and the last thing you remember is hearing his soft whisper.

“Don’t worry, baby. I’ll keep you safe.”

You wake up without an alarm in the morning and it’s the first time for that in a long-long time. You stir and groan before you open your eyes, your hands reaching out next to you, looking for the man that was next to you when you fell asleep, but there’s nothing and no one beside you now.

Panic rises in your chest as your eyes pop open and you frantically look around in the room, hoping to see him somewhere near, but you’re alone.

“Harry?” you call you as you sit up, holding the sheets to your chest since you’re still naked. No answer comes and you can feel your heart rate rising instantly.

Getting out of bed you grab the nearest clothing item you find which is an old hoodie, and you put on a pair of clean panties before you carefully walk out of the bedroom, afraid of what you might find outside, but it’s completely silent and still, no one is around. Harry has left.

“Fuck,” you breathe out, feeling the lump in your throat growing as tears are forming in your eyes.

Where did he go? Why did he leave? Is he coming back? Is he gone forever?

You can’t stop yourself from going into depth you shouldn’t, just because you don’t find him first thing in the morning, but you still haven’t entirely recovered from last night’s events and before you could stop yourself, you are thinking about the worst possibilities there could be.

And then you hear the lock turning in the front door.

Blood rushes out of your head as you freeze, afraid it’s another attacker and this time you won’t be as lucky as you were last night. But as the door opens Harry walks in with a paper bag in his arm and you can’t help, but start sobbing at the sight of him.

“Harry!” you cry out, launching at him and he barely have time to put the bag down before he catches you, locking you in his strong arms.

“Hey! No need to worry, it’s just me!” he soothes softly, his hands running up and down your back and head. “I’m sorry I scared you, just wanted to get you something to eat, baby,” he murmurs, kissing the side of your head as you try your best to hold back your sobs.

“I just woke up alone and I thought…”

“I’m sorry, baby. I shouldn’t have left while you were sleeping. But I’m back and I’m alright.”

You just nod, hugging him a little longer before you loosen your hold around him to lean back and look him in the eyes.

“So… you’re staying? With me?”

“If you want me to, yes,” he nods with a soft smile as he cups your tear-soaked face in his hands. “I’ll keep you safe and sound and I’ll be whatever you need me to be.”

“Just be yourself and… be with me,” you shyly ask him and he nods, his smile growing into a wide grin before he leans down and captures your lips in a sweet, intoxicating kiss.

Thank you for reading, please like and reblog if you enjoyed it!

#harry #styles #harry styles #harry styles au #harry styles oneshot #harry styles one shot #harry styles x you #harry styles x reader #harry styles x y/n #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fluff #harry styles smut #harry styles angst #harry styles imagine #harry styles fanfic #bodyguard!harry

[nonbinarykai]

Fixing up elemental powers lore for Tommy the post

Notes: this is mostly headcanon/theory ((headtheory?)) and very little of It is based on canon. This is because the timeline is a mess and id much rather come up with something else. If you have any other points from canon you’d like to mention then I’d love to hear it. But I will be mainly ignoring anything that semi proves otherwise because again, timeline is a mess.

S15 spoilers ahead

So… s15 introduced a lot about elemental powers, most of which directly contradicts what has already been established. And because, like always, Tommy is no help. I wanted to try to see if I can come up with something on my own to fix this confusing puzzle together.

The first spinjitzu master didn’t create the elemental powers

Im not quite sure why tommy is still so admit on trying to say this is the case when s15 directly disproves this.

The existence of a water elemental master BEFORE the fsm ever appeared in ninjago straight up tells us he wasn’t the one who actually made the elemental powers, and implied he wasn’t the one who gave it to the masters either.

Hell, if anything, it would make more sense if the fsm mastered all the elements by training under elemental masters. It would explain why he never mastered water and supposedly air if they were never involved with him to begin with.

It would make sense for the fsm to be able to learn how to master these without having his own element. He’s half dragon and half oni which relay on creation and destruction ((which I also don’t think are elements but I’ll get to that)). So he could easily learn to use elements with his dragon powers.

Another bit of evidence to prove the fsm didn’t give the elemental powers to people is because if he did then why did he need the golden weapons? If he had the elements he could just make ninjago without the weapons anyways.

So then where did the elements come from?

While there is no real answer to that because, well duh, we can atleast attest that elemental masters aren’t JUST a ninjago thing.

For one, not many people know this but ninjago isn’t the whole realm, it’s a single continent and there are more continents in the realm. Paleman and tox are from another series called ultra agents, which sure as hell doesnt take place in ninjago.

And second, the elemental dragons in the first realm seem to have elemental powers aswell, hell it’s been implied that they might actually have stronger powers then the normal elemental masters

So then where did they come from? Well there are some possibilities

1. The dragon themselves, they can travel through realms and also they could create humans ((I mean look at fsm)) it’s also implied any large reptile creature can realm travel because of wojira being mentioned in the never realm

2. The realm spirits or whatever the fuck the preeminent is

3. The elements are there own beings that can affect who has elemental powers

Elementals could exist ((I know this is headcanon territory but shut up and let me have this))

Do you guys remember those little animal badges

These things

They were on the ninja gi’s up until s8 where they just disappeared

They seem directly tied to the ninja themselves, because Kai has his lion badge even when he was a kid.

And in s2 you can see them in the pillars for the elemental blades

Is almost like those symbols are meant to be direct representations of the elemental power

I’d also like to point out the golden weapons, they aren’t able to use specific elements ((like fire)) UNLESS its in there actual weapon form

And yet when Kai recreates them in s10, they still work even though there not exact replications

What if the specific elemental powers come from the dragon symbols? The golden weapons can’t use the element unless the dragon symbol is there to access that power. And because dragon elemental powers are more powerfully the symbols only work on the golden material.

What if the animal symbols work the same? And that people are Able to create spells, weapons, and such that use those powers.

As for where the elementals would live, well…

Elements were formed from space, it would make sense if they lived in space and were using there powers to create realms and give other people a bit of there power

And also I just think it would be cool if the sun was a being that’s the center of the realms, much like how the sun is the center of our solar system

I don’t think wu, garm, and Lloyd have elemental powers Im sorry

there’s little actual evidence to prove that garm, wu, and Lloyd have elemental powers

They don’t appear on any elemental power lists

Chen didn’t need garm or wus powers to finish his spell even though water and wind are the only ones the fsm didn’t master

Lloyd’s power itself is super confusing because it’s never named outside of “green” but s15 saying that the fsm only mastered them could mean that he just passed down mastering the powers to Lloyd.. somehow?

If anything it’s more likely that there got there destruction and creation powers bc of the combination of oni and dragon blood, nothing elemental

And at this point if Lloyd does have a elemental power tommy needs to stop being a coward and actually say it

Summary

So my new sexy and powerful lore for ninjago elemental powers is that

A bunch of elemental beings came into existence when space was created ((by like idk a Big Bang or something)), they created the 16 realms and gave each of them there own set of elemental masters, the older realm elemental masters are the strongest while the newer ones are the weakest because of the elementals slowly giving away there power. They gave the elemental masters there powers so they can project/create there realm more then the elementals have already done.

#ninjago #kai smith #ninjago kai #ns15 #ns15 spoilers

[get-shiggy-with-it]

Ch. 2

Shigaraki Birthday Celebration! 18+ MINORS DNI

Pairing: Tomura Shigaraki x fem!reader 

Word Count: 3k

Warnings: reader is marked fem cause Tomura is a little sexist and hates you cause you’re a woman, no pronouns, incel!shiggy, collage au/no quirks, tomura is an asshole, gratuitous swearing, like so much, shiggy has a dirty mouth, mentions of shigs being anxious, brief male masturbation, tags will be added for smut in the next two parts

Ch. 1 | Ch. 2 | Ch. 3 | Ch. 4 | Ch. 5 | Ch. 6

Summary: In which studying is done, unwilling connections are made, and Tomura thinks about the way you smell a totally normal amount. 

AO3 mirror

Taglist: @dillybuggg​ (just shoot me an ask if you want to be tagged!

Tomura hadn’t stopped staring at his phone since he left the apartment. It was second nature by now—head down at a nearly ninety degree angle, hoodie pulled up to hide hair he hadn’t bothered to comb in weeks, and phone out, held just far enough away that he could see the pavement behind the screen. 

He’d found that people tended to naturally avoid him this way and he didn’t have to risk accidentally making eye contact. It was still a bit nerve wracking to venture into buildings he didn’t expressly have to for classes, so he was still hesitant to make the voyage from his apartment to the library.  But he’d made the mistake of mentioning plans to his roommate and the bastard wouldn’t leave him alone about it afterwards until he was practically shoved out with the door locked behind him. 

He was half tempted to make up some excuse last minute and go hide out at the only cafe on campus he could tolerate, but Tomura knew he was just delaying the inevitable. Biting the bullet now would help to not prolong his suffering. 

Your text thread glared up at him in stark white on blue as he pushed past a crowd of students by the library entrance and flashed his ID to the attendant. 

Group Project Bitch:

— hey I got us a room on the third floor, all the way in the back

—text me when you’re here I’ll wave you in, it’s kinda hard to find T-T

                                                                                                     sounds good— 

He shot off a quick text to you that he was hoping on the elevator. The other two guys in the lift may have given him a dirty look for only going up to the third floor, but Tomura sure as hell wasn’t going to risk the physical exertion of stares when just the thought being stuck in a small room alone with you for god knows how long already had him sweating. 

When he stepped out, you were leaned against one of the 90s-green shelves, scrolling aimlessly through your phone. He panicked momentarily, thinking he’d have to get your attention cause just walking up without saying anything would be weird right? 

He wasn’t sure. 

He didn’t do shit like this. 

Thankfully, you looked up at the chime of the lift and waved him over. His red sneakers squeaked as they scuffed the linoleum floors and he already regretted choosing his tighter fitting pair of sweats. The tapered legs that hugged his ankles and thin calves rubbed against his skin and stung the raw patches. 

“Hey, thanks for coming,” you said softly and he nodded, following as you began to weave through the stacks. “Sorry it was short notice, graduation’s coming up so I'm swamped with meetings.”

“It’s fine, I didn’t have anything going on.” 

He cringed internally at the way his voice cracked, trying to keep the usual rasp to a minimum. His roommate said it was from the innumerable hours he spent shouting at his monitor or on discord, which was probably true but to you he was sure he just sounded like a fucking teenager. 

“Cool, I’ve been set up for awhile so feel free to move some stuff,” you talked a bit louder now that you’d both stepped into the study room and shut the door. 

Tomura looked around. You’d snagged one of the nicer ones at least, with the big monitors he could cast his screen onto and those comfy chairs he liked but could never beat anyone too on the lower floors. 

You were right, there was shit all over the big table at the center of the room. Notes and printed out readings with highlights galore and sticky notes littering the pages were scattered all over. What a show off. You probably tossed all this stuff out so he’d think you were actually intelligent or some shit. 

Kicking a pile off of the nearest plush armchair, Tomura took a seat and pulled his laptop out. There was a jack in the middle of the table and you plugged yours in to cast onto the big monitor. 

You made a fucking power point for him. 

This couldn’t be real. 

“So I know I ran some stuff by you in class but essentially I was thinking we make like a simple Twine type thing using the rhetorical argument Swift is making…” 

You started rambling again and Tomura almost immediately tuned you out. His eyes drifted between the rough outline you were flicking through on the board and the laptop you had your nose buried in. 

It was covered in stickers, pretty obviously stereotypical for someone as obsessed with being ‘cool’ as you clearly were. But as he scanned through the various old meme phrases and aesthetic shit, he caught a couple of game references he recognized and a panel cutout from one of his favorite manga. 

He almost fell into your trap for a moment, feeling a rush at the prospect of someone—much less a chick—being into his main hyperfixations. 

But it was quickly crushed under everything his years trolling subreddits had taught him. People like you didn’t actually have interests beyond the attention and dick it got them. Plus that manga was pretty popular anyway, you probably didn’t even read it, just thought the line was funny or made you sound quirky. That had to be why you felt the need to drop it in your first texts. 

“What do you think?” you asked, making good on your new habit of startling the hell out of him. 

Tomura blinked, gaze instinctively turning to you but the blatant way you stared made his mouth turn to sand paper, so he looked resolutely back at the color-coded bullet points on the screen. 

“Look’s fine,” he mumbled. 

The more he glanced over it, the more it actually did look fine. A bit more than fine, really, which pissed him off even more. The little choose-your-own debate style story was not a terrible way to make fucking Whatever Swift interesting and it kinda looked like you’d bothered to google some simple coding which gave him a better idea of what you were looking for. 

It was...good. 

And that so fucking annoying. 

Well, he wasn’t sure if annoying was the right word for it, but the proposal coupled with your apparent lack of disgust at working with him made his face hot and that only ever happened otherwise when his roommate left the dishes out for weeks or when some newb on his server fucked up their raids. 

Then, you had the audacity to plop down in the chair next to him and— 

“You can tell me to fuck off if you want,” you began, shuffling in the chair to cross your legs on the cushion, “but I was hoping you’d be willing to show me how you do some of the coding stuff? I tried on my own, but I have literally no clue what I’m doing.” 

He could smell you again, like the whole fucking health and beauty aisle at the grocery store. When he turned his head a bit to look at you around the curtain of his hair, you were crooked—back against the armrest and facing him. 

“Why do you want to know?” he asked, sounding a bit less rude than he would have liked to. 

You just fucking stared right at him though, didn’t wrinkle your nose at how greasy his roots were or how he was wearing the same hoodies as yesterday. 

“I’ve always been interested in it, but my program is kinda stressful and I don’t have much free time so I never learned,” you offered and for once Tomura found he didn’t feel his skin crawl under your unwavering gaze. 

The dry, cracked area around his eyes burned though as sweat beaded on his forehead and he quickly wiped at his face with a loose sweatshirt sleeve. The garment hung off his shoulders, bought a size too big that he never ended up growing into. 

“What’s your major?” 

He found the words slipped easily from him. It was the quintessential question you asked of anyone in college when you met, but he’d never been interested in the answer before. 

You babbled a bit about your specific area of study and your voice was surprisingly not as infuriating as he remembered it being before. It was softer, he thought, than when you were soapboxing in class about the sexist implications of old as fuck poetry—it had a less grating quality and was almost pleasing to the ear. 

Or Tomura would have said that if he thought you deserved the compliment. 

But, obviously you didn’t. 

So he didn’t. 

He just pretended to care about what you were saying and didn’t hang onto every word at all. Actually he was more enraptured in the way your lips moved when you talked. You used your hands a lot too, but his eyes were ensnared on the way your mouth quirked and dipped, at the occasional flash of your tongue between strong teeth. When he leaned in a bit, he could smell your breath too: fruity gum and the remnants of whatever you were always drinking in that loud as fuck cup. He wondered now what exactly it was, so he could buy it and get a better idea of what you mouth might taste—

Nope. 

No, see this was exactly what he wasn’t supposed to be thinking about. How were you doing this to him? What a fucking slut. 

Tomura steeled his nerves as you started explaining the extracurriculars you did on the side. 

“My roommate freshman year actually started a gaming club and so I’ve gotten more into that over the years,” you explained, pointing at the stickers on your laptop case. 

“Are you talking about The League?” 

“Yeah, I didn’t know if you’d heard of it,” you shrugged.  

He knew of the gaming club on campus. He’d thought about joining when he enrolled but the allure of anonymity online gaming provided was too strong. Plus his discord server didn’t have annoying weekly meetings. 

The thought of you, up late and illuminated by the blue light of a tv screen, tucked away in one of the basement rooms in the media building was...strange. It also prompted an array of new images—you in those fucking cat ear headsets, seated in his lap as he trashed you in Mario Kart which was even stranger. 

Tomura had to physically shake his head to dislodge the thought. 

“Uh, we should probably work on this right?” he cringed at the way his voice cracked compared to your own, smooth tone. 

You should narrate those fucking sleepy time mediation things. His roommate used to hide wireless speakers in his room and blast those when Tomura stayed up too late. It was annoying as shit then, but if it was you talking, he probably wouldn’t have minded so much. 

Or no, no he would definitely mind. 

Yes. It would have been worse if anything. 

“Oh shit, you right. It’s been like two hours.” 

He glanced down at his laptop and saw that it had, indeed, been two hours since he got there. He’d willingly spoken to you for two goddamn hours. It felt like no time had passed at all, but the sun was definitely setting, the overhead fluorescent bulbs taking over as the main light source in the room. 

Weird. 

So you settled back in your chair, typing away like you always did, but the sound wasn’t nearly as frustrating as before. Occasionally, you’d glance over his shoulder and ask questions about what he was working on, but mostly the two of you settled into a comfortable silence. 

This pattern continued for the next few weeks. As the weather warmed, you began to show a bit more skin. He never worked up the nerve to comment on the thick expanse of bare thigh that tapered off nicely into your calf, or the curve of your arms not hidden behind knit sweaters—hell even your fucking shoulders were hard not to look at. 

Maybe all those high school dress codes weren’t actually so full of shit after all. Cause he was definitely distracted by the way your neck swooped into the exposed skin of your shoulder and down your back on more than one occasion.

Did all girls know that? Was it some kind of massive conspiracy to crumble the patriarchy or some crap to go flashing bare shoulders everywhere? 

Regardless if you really were trying to hypnotize him into liking you, Tomura stayed resolutely in his monochrome, long sleeved attire, and if you noticed the behavior you never said a word. 

Never said a word about his allergy ridden skin, peeling lips or scarred throat. Never commented on his terrible posture or said his eyes were creepy. Even when he’d occasionally toss a negative remark your way, you never retaliated maliciously. Just brushed him off with a jovial ‘don’t be a dick’ and a playful, but hard slap to his chest or the back of his head. 

The two of you always met in the same, secluded room on the third floor. You’d talk with him in class sometimes or shoot him texts about random bits of inspiration or a late night game memes, but for the most part, your conversations were confined to that room. He found he preferred the study room ‘you’ best. You weren’t as stiff. There was more of a solidity to you, like he’d seen when you told off that Kai bastard. 

It...grew on him. 

He was irrationally anxious that there would be a time when you couldn’t secure this particular room—with it’s big monitor and comfy chairs and less annoying ‘you’—but he’d been reassured after your third work session. 

Someone had knocked softly at the thick, wooden door and a head of wild, bright pink hair peaked around the crack. 

“Sup bro,” the intruder quipped, as they stepped fully into the room. 

“Hey, Spinner,” you mumbled back, looking up momentarily from the essay portion of your presentation before going back to typing. 

Spinner had seemed to notice him at that point and offered a small wave in his direction. “Oh hey, sorry, thought you were alone,” he said quickly. 

“Nah, this is Tomura,” you said, glancing up again and jerking your thumb in his direction. 

Tomura nodded and tugged at his hoodie strings to stop from scratching under the newcomer’s gaze. He’d gotten used to you, but other people still made him a bit nervous. 

“Nice to meet you,” Spinner had a nice smile, bright and flashy when he spoke. He leaned against the door and crossed his arms, looking around the room. “You got the nice one, huh. How’d you manage that?” he asked. 

“Yeah,” you half closed your laptop and stretched a bit. “Jin was working the front desk, so I’ve just been bribing him with vending machine snacks.” 

“He hasn’t gotten himself fired yet?” Spinner laughed incredulously, but not unkindly. 

“Surprisingly not, but he’s completely corrupt now,” you were picking at the cuticle of your thumb and Tomura fixated on the way the skin split off at the nail. Just like his. “A couple packs of chips and a Monster and I get the most bitchin study room whenever I want.” 

“Damn,” Spinner chuckled again and Tomura really wished that he’d leave already. He was beginning to feel himself fading into the upholstery as the conversation left him in the dust. The divergence of your attention away from him or the project was even more annoying that you were. “Well, are you coming to The League meeting tonight? We’re busting out a Smash tournament.” 

“That’s tonight?” you asked, eyes perking up but sliding subtly in Tomura’s direction. “Sorry, I think Tomura and I are gonna be working on this project for a while longer and I’m kinda burnt out. But next time, yeah?”

Spinner rolled his eyes but nodded and kicked off the wall. “That’s not very sexy of you,” he chided and waved a hand in parting. “Gonna work yourself directly into the fucking grave.” 

“Jokes on you, I welcome death.” 

You buried yourself in the screen again and Tomura actually felt a bit grateful for you ending the conversation before he got too painfully awkward. 

But Spinner stopped before he left, looking Tomura up and down from the frayed strings of his black hoodie to the tips of his worn red sneakers. 

“Nice to meet you, man,” he said with a wide grin. “Feel free to tag along next time if you want, we always need more players.” 

The door clicked softly shut behind him and Tomura relaxed back into the silence.

He did end up tagging along—though he spent most of the time hanging off your heels like a lost puppy—to the next meeting of your gaming club and the one after that. Frustratingly enough, he learned that your interests did also extend into skills as you almost bested him in a few rounds Smash. Your profile, lit only by the flashing screen lights, was even more striking outside of his imagined imitations. 

So much so that it found its way into his head late at night when he was too tired to log onto his server. So much so that it had his cock growing firm and tenting his grey sweats without even the visual aid of his go to porn clips. So much so that sometimes, he felt inclined to do something about the throbbing between his legs. So much so that he thought about the way you picked the skin by your fingers. How it looked like his. How your hand might feel like his but softer. Smoother around the edges. With your sweet voice whispering in his ear, making him whine and pant and spill white ropes of release onto his stomach. 

But it was only because you were hot. 

And you were practically begging for him to jack off to the thought of you with those outfits and liking all the shit he liked and noticing when he shrunk away from conversations or including him in them when he started to feel that awful sense of fading into the background. 

Yeah. 

Everybody jerks it sometimes to their group project partners if their ass is nice enough. 

Right?

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