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#and i know i cant expect to meet ppl EXACTLY like me. but i just want some that are kinda similar
bunnihearted · 6 months
Text
hmm
#i just feel like i cant connect to anyone#i dont feel safe with anyone. ppl are so cold and callous#and in fact most ppl support and contribute to abuse & rape culture#and knowing that just makes me not feel safe or comfortable with them#thus i cant trust them w my experiences. i cant trust them at all tbh#+ i have a deeper connection w animals & nature and most ppl.. are so disconnected from those#i just dont feel.. ok with anyone#also the fact that i constantly have to mask. every interaction w ppl feels like a performance#everyone already has decided what they think others should be. and i dont fit into that. im none of it#so i feel sm like no one could understand me. and in turn i dont understand anyone either :/#it's making me feel so so so so fucking lonely#my world views and experiences and everything are things i just cannot ignore#i simply cant shut it off and be w ppl regardless#and i know i cant expect to meet ppl EXACTLY like me. but i just want some that are kinda similar#sigh all of this is so hard to even put into words. it feels like im not explaining this properly#i just look around me sometimes and feel so extremely alone bc i cant connect w anyone. i just dont understand ppl at all.#and i just wanna feel safe and comfortable#maybe what im saying is that someone world views and morals etc are important to me#i cant connect with someone who denies a genocide for example#bc that is so fundamentally against who i am and what i believe in#but it is so fkn rare i cant even come up w an example of me coming across someone similar to mtyself#idk.. just dont wanna be alone
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323398149 · 6 months
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You dont need to sort through it as “quickly” as possible. Take a deep breath. Now take some more. Go easy on yourself. No one would be so annoyed that they would hurt you. And if someone were to ever hurt you then please let me know so I can hurt them….take things one step at a time. See what you actually want out of life. You have to know what you actually want before making concrete steps in that direction.
I cant know who this was from but I've read it a million times in the last year or two from whenever it was sent.
I just logged in thinking, this is a tumblr vent not a finsta one.
I'm so overwhelmed by life and growing up (the usual, am I not always in this state? Jk I guess a couple years ago, no, that wasnt what i was talking about on here lols)
I was gonna be like nobody prepares you for interviews and job applications but technically they do in grade 10 careers but gee the real deal is so much scarier and like.... it really is just based on you. Like some ppl just got it and others don't. I have no social skills lol and out here in the real world it really shows.
It's like gr9 RUSH all over again. I went from being the cream of the crop in my cohort in uni and being amazing at leading meetings and connecting with classmates to suddenly being back at the bottom of the barrel. It feels like they poured us from one barrel to another bigger one except you know how the foam gets left behind when you pour steamed milk into a cup? It feels like that. It feels like I'm just hanging out there by myself still stuck to the sides of the first barrel when everybody has moved on and I don't have the social or even technical skills honestly to get myself from the first barrel to the bigger one without the flow of the rest of the crowd to carry me. As soon as we hit 4th year it became every (wo)man for themselves and stopped being collective. Like for the 18 years before that we all progressed forward together every year at exactly the same rate yknow? I got complacent.
I didn't realize we were just walking towards the starting line for a race and were expected to start running at the whistle of graduation. It's like I didn't even know the route of the course that we were on and now I finally just got a hold of a map. Or it's as if I'd never heard a whistle before so I didn't realize that was our cue. Or lmaooo like I sneezed at the exact same time as the whistle and ended up not hearing it. So now I gotta figure out how I can keep going even tho I can barely see everybody turned some corners and I can't even see what's on the other side of the bend yet.
But the point is that I've found the map now so imma just have to figure out a route on my own and trust it and keep going.
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mechawolfie · 9 months
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wait there was smth i wanted to say abt that "how did u get into/how do u imagine you'll get into a relationship" poll but i forgot but i remember now. under a read more bc I'm shy uwu
so like i said in the tags, big fan of the "be autistic @ each other until we realize we've fallen in love" approach. but in terms of my actual genuine expectation i've thought very much about id rather it be like. an aro autistic sort of commitment. u know like, we make the conscious decision to Try Something Out, discuss the type of relationship we want, & see where it goes.
but yeah feelings been messing me up. & i know i don't Need to listen to my feelings bc chemical reaction or w ever but i feel like i have to dissect every feeling i don't understand & get into the meat and organs of it so i fully understand it so it doesn't Scare Me Anymore. but that's like hard when u have a hard time Feeling your Feelings. bc of Alexithymia (GREAT song by anberlin. btw)
anyway im hungry but im waiting for my chicken patty to cook so I'm kinda oughhh rn. so.
now i am someone that, bc of my sheltered upbringing, likes to experience things that I'm curious abt. this includes relationships. i'd like to try them bc i like the thought. but also there's this idea in western society that relationships need to happen Naturally. which trips me up a bit as someone who 1) can't just Go Out And Meet People and 2) don't like the traditional ideas of relationships (meet > realize we're "in love" > all the gushy shit or w ever). like it's very incidental & i like to do things On Purpose. n maybe that's a little bit my need to have control over things. just a little bit.
theres also the fact that itd need to be, initially, a ldr bc the above mentioned Can't Just Go Out. which a lot of ppl don't like i've found !
oh yeah. there's also the thing where i am. let's see here. black, trans (in a "weird" way)(and pre-everything), so many types of neurodivergent & mentally ill, not very active bc of chronic pain, stuck w my family & cant drive, and pretty strictly t4t. all things that make Living Amongst Other People sort of Uncomfortable, specifically around ppl who don't like to acknowledge that they might have internalized some Bigoted Shit, and like to make it My Problem.
i cant. remember where i was going with that. like i think I'm trying to go somewhere but I'm too gosh dang hungry to remember. i think what I'm trying to say is that i want to try dating, it sounds fun (especially now that i've accepted that I Am A Guy. like woah.. you're telling me i can HAVE a gay relationship??? like in my fics????? no way) BUT. is scawwy. and finding someone who would be compatible with me, whatever that means exactly, sounds. hard.
WAIT my chicken patty just finished. i just heard the oven go Ding! swag
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rrxnjun · 1 year
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tbh i love when people tell me their fav artists/music cuz i feel like i just learn a lot about them or like get to know what they are like. and also i just love it when people say/throw in something that i wouldn't expect them to say it's just so fun!!! AND YES TOTALLY AGREE WITH IR TAKE UR MUSIC SHOULD MAKE U HAPPY!!! ahh i love jack manifold he is actually one of the coolest and funniest people out there his streams are just🤌 (okay cool might be a reach but.. /j)
idk my friend says she just skips a lot of parts from episodes with the ones she doesn't like but even if i like or obsess over a show i just can't get my self to finish it (me with the owl house rn;-;) so that method (?) just doesn't help me out😭😭 yeahhh i looked up what it was actually about after i sent the ask cuz i was curious and i didn't really remember hearing about the movie and then i kinda regretted the way i phrased my question🥲but i'm glad it wasn't that bad of a movie!! IM SO HAPPY U KNOW THEM!!! TRUE R5 STAN ISTG😌😌 red velvet is just such a great song i was so obsessed with ittttt but their music just slaps in general
ooo dammnnn slovak drama:oo but i might look up a translation for the song then cuz now im curious:o (and also thank u still for telling me about this song i vibed so hard to it while writing my essays) i feel like slovak arists like them have to be outthere somewhere they might just not be that well know or something but if there actually isn't at all i hope there will be soon!!!!!
YEAH IM SO SAD ABOUT IT☹️but i think it might be better cuz i just have too much school work rn to just go on a trip☹️☹️☹️ PRETTY BUILDINGS ARE THE BEST THERE IS SO MANY OF THEM IN BUDAPEST AND I TAKE A PIC RVERYTIME I SEE A PRETTY ONE ITS THE BEST EVER ITS NOT A WEIRD OBSESSION!!!! and i really hope i will be able to visit the city another time☹️☹️☹️
it won't really be easier until like the end of june so i just hope i survive;-; but thank u though 💞💓💕 and i hope u have a nice and lovely day as well!!!🥳💖💘
(also i saw that tell me who u ship me with post and i just want to say like many other people did that u and haechan would just be very powerful🫢🫢hoping for ur baekhyun concert date with him🫡) (liebestraum anon💕💓)
EXACTLY!!! music taste says so much about a person. and wild unexpected music tastes are so fun like i have a friend that listened to exclusively heavy metal but then played lucifer by shinee on aux and i was like um....what in the- also jack manifold is so dear to me i dont watch his streams but his existence in other ppls videos is always so comedic i love him
WHY WOULD U SKIP PARTS IN EPISODES WHATS EVEN THE POINT OF WATCHING THEN??? thats the same as forcing yourself to watching something 😭😭 if i hate something i just stop bc life is too short yknow what i mean. AND ITS OK u dont have to know abt it djdjdj but i get your concern 😶
AAA if u really want the translation i can translate for u 🥳 i think i looked up the translation for a friend before and wasnt pleased w it bc it didnt really fit the energy so im just gonna do it myself to give the lyrics justice AHAHA if youre interested ofc! glad it helped w essays 😌😌 i physically cant listen to music when writing essays bc then i cant focus so i applaud you HAHA and you are right there must be artists like that here but idk them:((( im gonna try looking for some to appreciate my home country more
I WANNA GO TO BUDAPEST I WAS TALKING ABT THIS W MY FRIEND THE OTHER DAY WHEN WE WERE MAKING PLANS FOR THE SUMMER‼‼ i said i wanna take a train there and just look around and shit she didnt seem convinced but im gonna do it anyway so feel free to be my tour guide we should meet up actually
awh i hope june comes fast for u!! i am chilling rn ((even tho i have 6 essays to write until the end of april) but then i have exams may-jun so i get the stress😩😩 im rooting for u mwah!!
IM SCREAMING. CRYNG. EVERYONE SHOULD STOP TELLING ME THEY SHIP ME W HYUCK BECAUSE I SIMPLY CANNOY DEAL. me @ hyuck: baekhyun concert date when?? or we can just make out in your room and listen to the bambi album instead i dont mind either-
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cassyapper · 3 years
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please elaborate on the kel/basil thing cus im p sure i noticed stuff between them in the real world parts but not in the albums or hearspace? i wanna know what u noticed
ya totally!!!!!
so one, the photo albums: even discounting the one that kel took of himself, kel has the most individual photos taken of him than any other character. basil notes once that aubrey is “always photogenic” so we can deduce that it’s not that his other friends are hard to take pictures of, he just always seems to be noticing what kel is up to more than what anyone else is up to. also, in the photo descriptions, even if the photo includes more than one person, basil is likely to mention something kel is doing in particular, a service he wont provide for anyone else
headspace: there are a bunch of little moments between the two here so I'm just gonna switch to more of a list format 1) kel wanted basil’s attention when they first go out to meet mari and basil....aubrey immediately runs to mari but kel on the other hand immediately runs to basil and tries to do something impressive and photo-worthy because, we can conclude, he likes having basil’s approval. on it’s own this isn't really anything too special but i just think it’s cute 2) basil pokes fun at kel in the very beginning. this is relevant imo because even headspace basil is very timid and doesn't like stepping on toes, but he isn't afraid to call kel a prick. what this means in the grand scheme of things then is that basil trusts kel in a special way which lets him know kel wont get mad over gentle, lighthearted teasing (and he doesn't! kel is like “cool so i could take care of a cactus!!”). like idk exactly how to phrase this,,,but basil feeling relaxed enough toward kel he’s willing to step out of his comfort zone in terms of how he interacts w ppl is a big deal in my opinion but it’s very subtle so let’s move on 3) when basil goes missing and they're all listing things about him that they miss at mari’s picnic, kel goes on and on about how he misses hearing basil talk about things he enjoys like plants and flowers, but he then lists more hobbies, like reading and art. idk i just think it’s rlly sweet that kel a) listened to basil talk so much so often even tho we all know kel usually cant stand being so still and lax for too long....for some reason basil is the exception and b) retained that information 4) i know the “well i miss when basil would tell me to wash my hands” thing was more to annoy aubrey than anything else, the fact that he and basil spent so much time together that saying that made sense? i know I'm looking too deep into this but I'm taking it thanks 5) when their memories are getting really messed up in deeper well/humphrey, kel remembers that a) basil probably would've liked all the strange plant life in deeper well and comments on this, b) remembers in molly’s sector that basil liked to take photos when people “least expect it” bc there's just “something about people living their own lives” when no one else even remembered basil’s photos existed, and c) when kel finds that basil plant in medusa’s sector he gets inexplicably sad and he doesn't know why and just HNGGH he cared about him a lot okay
i know they didn't have a lot of one-on-one interaction in headspace but i think these moments attest to Something. at the very least they were rlly close in a healthy way,,,these kiddos make me smile
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jubberry · 3 years
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oohkay let's go tua with those ship asks: fiveya, horrance and alluther.
thanks el i love you
Send me a ship and I'll answer three questions based on if I ship it or not.
fiveya obvs i ship this since this is 90% of my tua drawings lol
1. ill wait ill wait (to be the one) by georgiestauffenberg made me ship it cause holy fuck dude. I dont know if i ship them romantically when i saw them onscreen cause first of all, age difference is kinda weird lmao. Second, they dont rlly interact much outside literally the first couple of eps. But he was so soft for her, and i felt like they had so much unexplored history.
so i looked at fanfics cause i was wondering if ppl still ship it, then i liked the description of this one so i gave it a go.
Basically the premise is that vanya dates a much older man who seems to know a lot about her. And it was amazingly in character and just provided their characters some depth that u wouldnt find outside of a romantic relationship between them. (The implication of five pining while she doesnt know who he is, their missed chances when he time travelled, fives missed chances of living and having a 'normal' life bec of his own hubris, vanyas insecurity and being able to open up bec shes with someone whos known her since childhood). Its so sweet and thats how i was like, oh yep i can do so much more with these two, and what has kept me interested in drawing them etc.
2. My favourite things are the shippers cause i made some friends in the fandom who are super cool and supportive! I dont get super involved in fandoms and usually just watch from afar so finding people to talk to and muck around with in this tiny fandom is super cool 😭
Though thats not to say I havent come across some bad apples in this fandom and things that I dont like. I think thats the importance of carving out a place for yourself and ur friends in fandom tho.
Another thing I like about the ship itself, i just like the grumpy person whos soft for one person trope. Its so cute. I like all the little clues in canon on how their relationship as kids is quite warm, which is interesting cause five is basically the star student and he can be quite cold vs vanya who is the black sheep of the family.
I also like how five likes her powers even when she caused the apocalypse he spent the majority of his life in lol. Like its a popular hc that five is just a wife guy and i love that.
I see vanya as the type who has a lot of love to give, and she sometimes has unrealistic expectations of what her partner can give. Betrayal and lies really angers her, but also when her partner cannot meet her expectations of love she gets very upset bec its also an indication of how shes not good enough, or not loveable enough to be able to have this in the relationship (her insecurity means every failing always comes back to her, even if its out of her control).
I feel like five would be a level-headed person enough in the relationship to not be afraid to say 'vanya ur being stupid' (ie. the s2 confrontation lmao). Also, five's personality means she will never have to doubt his actions bec she knows hes the type who will not give u the moment of the day if hes not interested.
Not to mention they also have the whole apocalypse vs. saviour, hero/villain thing. Theres just a lot to explore!
3. I probably have several. But mostly I dont mind five being a dick to vanya bec first, even if the appeal is hes soft to her hes already kind of a dick in canon lmao. Also, vanya isnt a child. Shes grown and she can handle petty af things like five telling her shes not good at cooking lol. I also dont mind it cause I feel like people are getting too afraid to write... conflict for fear or portraying an abusive relationship or smth. Like, chill. Conflict is fine, resolving it is how u get a story. However in saying that, nobody should be obligated to write any way unless you want to! Fanfic is for comfort so if what your doing is making u happy then its good enough!
horrance which i also ship but i love the platonic and romantic relationship equally:
1. I came in tua in general not shipping anything so Im honestly not sure. I do remember someone doing a meta before s2 came out that was basically how ben acted weird when klaus summoned dave in s1 that made me go 👀 Otherwise, tua s2 rlly made me like them cause tua FED horrance shippers. Like..... the fact that klaus didnt want ben to leave him, and ben knows thats why he stayed 😢 or the fact that klaus was all over him for some reason???? Somebody also mentioned gay ben once and I resonate with that deeply. Like i get that jill exists but i resonate with gay ben deeply.
2. I love their bickering, theyre so cute together. I just like ben being angry bec hes self aware that hes got both shit and amazing taste. Shit bec he cant believes he likes Klaus (and also amazing also bec Klaus). I think the idea of them being kind of underdogs, theyre not rlly leader types and dont want to be, helps them bond together even in platonic horrance. They're both down to earth, and even tho they can annoy each other, they also know if they want a space to feel comfortable its with each other. Theyre not pressured by rivalry over leadership, or any sort of competition.
I love the idea that even tho ben is like klaus's ''conscience'', hes also down for chaos and bitchy. I feel like klaus rlly enabled that side of him, its not exactly a good thing but its p funny lol
3. I know some people think their dynamic is unhealthy but i dont care lol
alluther. So id say i dont ship this, mostly due to the fact that im not invested? Just like all tua ships so far I rlly came out not wanting anything but platonic relationships cause I feel tua doesnt do romance very well. With alluther, theyre so cute but im not super invested in either of their chars so they havent stuck for me. I appreciate seeing them and talking about them tho, and I'm def open to exploring them further.
1. I think tua canon romances are just so lackluster 😔 Idk who writes the romances but I was just like 'nice' but afterwards I dont really think about them. I love their dance scene and the message behind it! Otherwise, theyre sweet like most of the tua romances but im not super invested, same with all the non canon ships.
2. I really feel like tua needs to decide on what their relationship is. Like, just say its incest or not and stick with it 👀 Or if you wanna support it or not, just make up ur mind. I think I would've liked it better if I found the characters more interesting. Allison especially I feel like suffers from the fact that tua just doesn't want to make her ''mean''. They want to make her supportive and are less interested in making her flawed (ie. she should've had a conflict with Vanya in s2, but the writers didnt want to write the girls fighting which is stupid imo and not what that conflict is about).
In regards to Alluther, the scene where Allison gets annoyed at Luther for sleeping with someone else felt out of line. Like, how are you marrying other people and moving on but Luther isn't allowed to? But honestly, I don't mind if they actually just acknowledge it and make it a deliberate part of Allison's trait that Allison can expect a certain loyalty automatically from other people (which can tie in to her childhood being a star, and the rumour).
Luther is a big simp for Allison, which is sweet, but at the same time it would be nice to have him explore himself for a bit, and who he is outside of the academy. Then maybe they can rekindle their relationship again as new people and see where they go from there.
3. I don't hate them, but they're ok. I'm not super invested in them, just like all the tua canon romance. But I wouldn't mind making content for them if I were a bit more invested in their characters. I love their dance scene in s1 and I feel like its super a underrated portrayal of what their relationship is meant to be. I know no one talks about it but it's just such a great scene, and I'm pretty sure the choreographer was into interpretive dance? The scene had a lot of meaning that I don't see people dig around with.
Essentially I'm pretty sure the fairy lights are obviously a throwback to their childhood together, spending time outside of Reggie. So the dance scene kind of symbolized that pocket of space they made for each other in their life (even if theyre far away, or with other people, they will always have that space for each other).
The way they danced was more like playfighting than dancing, which means their relationship isn't sensual. It's more ''pure'', and romantic. Its basically two kids rekindling their love as adults. I also think this is a response to the incest, cause in s1 tua klaus literally said that 'thank god Regg is not their real father' right before Allison and Luther meet lmao. So its kinda like saying Allison x Luther isnt supposed to be 'ohh step sibling hot' but two people who experienced the same trauma as kids and finding comfort with each other (and rekindling that love after many years).
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joyseuphoria · 3 years
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She hated how much she liked him now
Thank you sooo much for the prompt!!!
The “him” in the prompts are replaced with “her” since this is a fem!jily fic!!! I had too many ideas for this fic...maybe I’ll write some of the rest in the future, but here you go!
You can read it here or on ao3
THE CURLY SQUAD
(Tuesday 16:00)
Sirius Black: moony and the rest of you pay up
Marlene Mckinnon: why should we pay u?
Remus Lupin: u still owe me 20 btw so i dont think i will
Sirius Black: ofc ppl like u wouldnt know smh
jamie finally asked lily on a date
Peter Pettigrew: Wait what
Marlene McKinnon: afsjtksjdggehej
when 
how 
tell me everything 
Sirius Black: well little prongsie finally sucked up and asked ickle lilykins on date
voila 
Marlene McKinnon: give me the details black
or i s2g ill kick u out of the group 
Sirius Black: empty threats
if u really wanna know u can go ask em
(Marlene McKinnon has removed Sirius Black from the group chat)
Peter Pettigrew: Remind me to not ever cross paths with Marlene 
_____________
THE CURLY SQUAD
(Tuesday 17:00)
Jamie Potter: good riddance 
thx marls 
Marlene McKinnon: got u covered hon
now spill 
Jamie Potter: i hv a date with lil on friday:)
Lily Evans: that she does;)
Marlene McKinnon: i demand details ppl
(Dorcas Meadows has removed Marlene McKinnon from the group chat)
Remus Lupin: wh did u do that for 
Dorcas Meadowes: She was being too nosy
I didn't like it
Jamie Potter:.........thx??
Dorcas Meadowes: Welcome sweetie
_________
THE CURLY SQUAD 
(Tuesday 17:34)
Mary Macdonald: wait what????!!!!!??!
__________
JILY LAMES TALK
(Wednesday 16:30)
Sirius Black: r v up for spying on them on fri?
Marlene Mckinnon: u kno it;)
Mary Macdonald: hell yeah
Peter Pettigrew: Yes! ofc
Remus Lupin: we should give them some privacy sirius
tho ik its a foreign concept to you
Dorcas Meadowes: Obviously
And of course I wanna spy on them
Remus Lupin: but still...yes
Sirius Black: ther is no privacy between  frnds
YAAY
Marlene Mckinnon: so v meet up at 4 outside the bistro next to three broomsticks 
Peter Pettigrew: Wait when’s their date and where?!??
Mary Macdonald: at 5 in 3 broomsticks pete cmon keep up
Remus Lupin: how did u know that?
Sirius Black: im her brother and both their best frnds its obvio that id be the first one to kno
Marlene Mckinnon: and im lilys best frnd too sirius 
Dorcas Meadows: You spied on them didnt you?
Sirius Black: v hv all the rights to spy on them
Mary Macdonald: wait i thought that i was lilys best frnd
Dorcas Meadowes: I can confidently say that it’s neither of you
I’m her best friend
Sirius Black: prove it
Marlene Mckinnon: yeah!
Dorcas Meadowes:  (sends an attachment)
Marlene Mckinnon: shit
Mary Macdonald: …...fair
___________
Private chat between Jamie Potter and Lily Evans 
(Thursday 19:45)
Jamie Potter: cant wait for our date tomorrow 
Lily Evans: ik u cant 
Jamie Potter: 
Lily Evans: <3
;)
______________
Private chat between Jamie Potter and Sirius Black 
(Thursday 19:48)
Jamie Potter: sirius sirius sirius 
lily just sent me a winky face emoticon!!!!
what do i do???!!!?!!!?!?!
(Message read at 19:49)
______________
Private chat between Jamie Potter and Lily Evans 
(Thursday 19:51)
Jamie Potter: :D
_______________
Private chat between Jamie Potter and Lily Evans 
(Friday 16:30)
Jamie Potter: u ready?
Lily Evans: yes ! 
wher r u
Jamie Potter: cool
just reached ur door
______________
JILY LAMES TALK
(Friday 16:30)
Sirius Black: where tf r u guys 
its only me and marlene here
Mary Macdonald: just outta class 
be there in 10
Remus Lupin: home
Peter Pettigrew: At the ice cream parlor for ice cream
Dorcas Meadows: Oh get me some too Pete?
Remus Lupin: me too pls pete
Mary Macdonald: oooh id like some too
mint chocolate chip for me pls
Peter Pettigrew: Sure thing! wh abt the rest of u??
Dorcas Meadowes : Strawberry! with a lot of strawberries as toppings!!!
Remus Lupin : devils choc ofc
Sirius Black : guys can v focus at the matter in hand??!!
also charcoal ice cream pls
just as black as my soul
Peter Pettigrew : ...k
U marls??
Marlene Mckinnon:..........vanilla. thx
____________
JILY LAMES TALK
(Friday 16:45)
Sirius Black: where tf r u guys?!!??!?
theyll b here any sec
Remus Lupin: sirius everyone is here
except for u and marlene
where tf r u guys?!!???
Marlene McKinnon: we r at the spirit store 
where tf r u guys????
Sirius Black: i told u guys to meet us here
Dorcas Meadowes: Wtf is a spirit store?
Sirius Black: a store that sees our spirit 
Peter Pettigrew: Ur ice creams starting to melt!!!!!!
Mary MacDonald: oh the halloween costume shop?
why?
Sirius Black: to dress up ofc
Marlene Mckinnon: honesty guys?
lily and jamie will recognise us if v go like this
and v cant afford that!!!!
Remus Lupin: that is smart….
didnt expect it from u both
Sirius Black: fuck you remus
fuck you
Dorcas Meadowes: So what are our disguises??
Marlene McKinnon: dog ears and nose 
a gily suit
a moon suit
rat whiskers and ears
a tree hat and glasses
and a big floppy hat and sunglasses for my beautiful girlfriend
Dorcas Meadowes: ………….
Peter Pettigrew: Dorcas and remus took ur ice cream btw
Something about it melting, u being stupid and u not being here
 Sirius Black: remy how could u
Marlene McKinnon: ffs dorcas 
i thought u loved me
Peter Pettigrew: Who’s wearing what costume?
Remus Lupin: also sirius 
do u really think that we can pull it off?
itd be tooo obvious 
Mary Macdonald: nd theyll realise that we r spying on them
Sirius Black: they couldnt even realise that they had a crush on each other until i intervened
do you think that theyll realise that its us???????
Remus Lupin: …...point
Sirius Black: so im wearing the dog ears and nose 
marls gonna wear the gily suit
the moon hat and the silver suit is for u remus 
Marlene Mckinnon: the rat whiskers r for peter 
and the tree hat and sunglasses r for mary :)
____________
JILY LAMES TALK
(Friday 16:55)
Sirius Black: ok now positions!
marlene mary and i r sitting in the booth behind the big fat hydrangea 
nd remus peter nd dorcas r gonna sit 2 rows behind them in the corner table outside
Peter Pettigrew: How do u even know where the r gonna sit?????!!!!!???
Marlene Mckinnon: v bribed the receptionist obviously
Sirius Black: she will make sure that they sit second in the row between the hydrangeas and the window 
Remus Lupin: how can v hear them if v r outside??
Marlene Mckinnon: oh hush remus 
ever heard of privacy?
Remus Lupin: wtf do u think we r doing rn??!!?!??!?!!
Dorcas Meadowes: Making sure the date goes perfectly?
Sirius Black: thank u dorcas
Mary Macdonald: yeah!
exactly 
Remus Lupin: …………
i give up 
Peter Pettigrew: Just now?
Thought u gave up when Jamie successfully insulted Lily two yers back when in fact she was supposed to ask her out on a date :/
Sirius Black: that was a good laugh
___________
JILY LAMES TALK
(Friday 17:04)
Peter Pettigrew: Ok they’re sitting rn 
Dorcas Meadowes: Don’t they look cute together
Remus Lupin: do i hv to wear this silvery rocky suit?!??!
Sirius Black: yes
and yes they look perfect 
our ship is finally sailing 
Dorcas Meadowes: Is is is Jamie stuffing a breadstick in her nose
Peter Pettigrew: No I think she’s trying to look like a walrus
Remus Lupin: she does not need to embarrass herself more
Mary Macdonald: u really think this is anything compared to the time when she tripped over her cat and fell on lilys bday cake?
Sirius Black: lolol
the bruise she left him with lasted for two weeks
Dorcas Meadowes: I stg that woman has the best boxing skills
Marlene Mckinnon: dorcas!!!! not me????
im ur girlfriend!!!
Mary Macdonald: lolololol
she thought that jamie did it on purpose for years lol
Marlene McKinnon: and why tf is lily doing the same
i thought she had more sense than that
Remus Lupin: love can do that to you ya know
Sirius Black: u would know
Marlene McKinnon: ohhh look jamie snorted the breadstick out of her mouth!!
neat
Mary Macdonald: lily did it too
Mary Macdonald: i think she has enough sense to not offend lily 
Remus Lupin: ya think?
u want me to remind u about all the times she offended lily?
Peter Pettigrew: Yeah so much that she hated Jamie
Sirius Black: nah she didnt 
if anything lily hates how much she likes her now
Marlene Mckinnon: do u think theyll order soup?
Sirius Black: yeah ig
jamie wants it to be all fancy
Marlene McKinnon: pls dont order tomato soup
Mary Macdonald: it awfully looked a lot like the waiter said no tomato soup
Peter Pettigrew: Really? Lily hates tomatoes why would Jamie order em
Thought she wouldn’t today
At least
Sirius Black: thank hell jamie didnt order the tomato one
Dorcas Meadowes: Remember when Jamie made marinara for Lily to impress her lol
Remus Lupin: that plan backfired soo bad 
Marlene Mckinnon at least lilys prank to get back at her was awesome
Sirius Black: that was such a power move!!!
and including taylor’s song
shehgeueytoaknd
Remus Lupin: tho she coloured her cat the so called emerald green and not key lime green and v had to listen to her go on and on abt how lily knows her fav colour 
Mary Macdonald: jamie continued to think that it meant that she knew it for three months
:/
Dorcas Meadowes: As if u didnt like it
Mary Macdonald: lol i did love it
Peter Pettigrew: They are bonkers 
Dorcas Meadowes: Bonkers for each other
Sirius Black: lol
Dorcas Meadowes: Their soup’s here
Sirius Black: spinach soup???
ewww jamie 
Peter Pettigrew: Ahh creamy mushroom soup for Lil ig
Awesome choice 
Mary Macdonald: they really ought to try new things
smh
___________
JILY LAMES TALK
(Friday 17:16)
Remus Lupin: wh did u guys order?
we ordered a lasagna 
Marlene Mckinnon:?uhh same 
ohhh look 
Peter Pettigrew: The waiter’s back with pasta for both of them YAY
Do you guys think that they realised that we are spying on them??
Marlene Mckinnon: nah they’re hopeless Pete so no
Sirius Black: thank hell that they r cute
Remus Lupin: lol
Dorcas Meadowes: 3 yrs ago I wouldnt have thought that they would be here together on a date
Mary Macdonald: hell they woulnt have even been here as friends 
Remus Lupin: or come here with us
Marlene Mckinnon: lily didnt even kno that she is bi then
Dorcas Meadowes: Yeah
It was quite a rough time for her
Peter Pettigrew: Guyssss
I have a question 
Dorcas Meadowes: Shoot Pete 
Peter Pettigrew: Why is the group name curly squad?
I mean only Dorcas’s hair is curly I only gathered that much
Dorcas Meadowes: Lol no Pete
Sirius Black: LOLOLOL
Marlene Mckinnon: lolll 
Dorcas Meadowes Ohk so
None of us here are just straight so we’re curly lol 
Sirius Black: lil nd i r bi
u r ace
dorcas nd mary r pans
remus is gay
jamie is lesbian 
Marlene Mckinnon: i am bi too 
u already knew that but still
Sirius Black: so yeah thats why 
Peter Pettigrew: Oh wow
Ok
Thanks guys 
Sirius Black: np pete 
Peter Pettigrew: Jamie just leaned over to brush the remnants of pasta from lilys lips!!!!!!!!
Mary Macdonald: thats soo cute they r perfect
Sirius Black: nauseating more like
Dorcas Meadowes: I’m just revelling in the fact that she didnt brush him off
Marlene Mckinnon: thats second year of uni lily
even first fits in the category 
Peter Pettigrew: and she held her hand!!!!!
Bold
Sirius Black: is that…...snep
Remus Lupin: snep?????
Dorcas Meadowes: Where
Sirius Black: behind u guys
Remus Lupin: OHHHH FUCK
Mary Macdonald: do u think that he knows abt their date
Sirius Black: well jamie did post it on her insta so…….
Dorcas Meadowes: Oh shit
Peter Pettigrew: Shit alright
Marlene Mckinnon: hes coming over ig
Mary Macdonald: yup hes in
Sirius Black: WHYYYYYY MUST YOU DO THIS TO ME GOD
COULDNT YOU LET MY SHIP LIVE IN PEACE!!!!
Remus Lupin: well u know what they say abt cannons sinking a ship :/
Sirius Black: remus theodore lupin u dare say that jily lames is not cannon
Marlene Mckinnon: remus ralph lupin wtf
Dorcas Meadowes: Remy, how could you?
Peter Pettigrew: Why would you say that Remus?
Mary Macdonald: remus john lupin u take that back right this instant
oh we r playing call remus wrong names 
sry I didnt realise
 Remus Lupin: i am sry guys I ship jily as much as u do
Sirius Black: LAMES
Remus Lupin: but i had to lol
i think v should go stop him from disturbing them
Mary Macdonald: hes already headed their way
its too late
Marlene Mckinnon: i s2g i will punch snep today if he does anything to them
Sirius Black: ill tackle him 
Marlene McKinnon: perfect
Mary Macdonald: v might blow our cover too
not that im worried abt that
tho they might not appreciate the sentiment 
Sirius Black: v shld go
Dorcas Meadowes: I feel like they'll want to handle this themselves
But ok!
Mary Macdonald: ok he hates u and remus the most so dorcas and i should go first 
Sirius Black: but im their best friend
Dorcas Meadowes: Too late they’re already talking
Sirius Black: NOOOOOO
Remus Lupin: ig he just mentioned siris name
Sirius Black: seems that way
if he says anything abt jamie or reg i will lose it
Dorcas Meadowes: I think he’s berating lily for being out with jamie….
Mary Macdonald: ofc what else does the greasy slime ball know
Sirius Black: ok im gonna go
Peter Pettigrew: How to grease your hair 101??
Sirius Black: lol yes
Marlene Mckinnon: is he
is he pointing over to us
Mary Macdonald:k they r looking at us
Peter Pettigrew: Did Lily just call ur name out, guys?
Dorcas Meadowes: Mary, make sure Marls and Sirius don’t do anything stupid
_________
“Sirius, no!” Remus shouted, as the boy in question marched over to Jamie’s and Lily’s table. 
“Well, hello there snivellus. Looking positively greasy today aren’t we?” Sirius taunted. 
“What are you doing here Black?” Snape sneered. 
Sirius hummed before responding, “We just fancied a dinner here. What about you?”
“Looking for something to grease?” Marlene chimed. 
“Marlene,” Lily warned. 
“Thought I’d visit my friend Lily here. That’s all Black,” Snape answered. 
“More like crash her date,” Dorcas muttered, as she joined the group around Lily and Jamie’s table with Remus, Mary, and Peter.
“I am not your friend Snape.” Lily stood up, accompanied by Jamie.
“Lily!” The greasy haired man faced her pleadingly, “I care about you a lot. That’s why I’m telling you to not date Potter! Thinking that you’re bi may well just be a phase that’ll go away, Lily. Moreover, she doesn’t really care about you! She just thinks that you are some sort of prize to be won.” 
Jamie looked like she wanted to dislocate Snape’s jaw, her fists curled at her sides. But the warning glance Lily threw her, made her insides calm down 
“You know nothing about me Snape,” Lily said, with gritted teeth. “Now go away before I dislocate your nose.” Sirius whistled in support. 
“Lily, we’ve been best friends since we were ten. I know you, Lily. Please listen to me,”
“If you were my best friend you’d have supported me instead of behaving like an ignorant ass. Now please go away.”
“Lily, please.”
Barely a moment later, Lily’s fist connected with Snape’s nose. Blood leaked down his front, while the rest of the gang rushed to vocally support her. 
 “You’ll regret that Lily!” Snape glared threateningly. 
Before long, Sirius had tackled Snape to the ground, and accidentally splattered the lasagna the waiter was bringing over to their table, on Snape’s head. 
“I...“ Lily began.
“You can save your breath, Lils,” Sirius started, “he’s a harmless, entitled prick”
“Looks like you have a lot of grease to get rid of, Snep,” Marlene announced. 
“And Snep, pro tip: the only shampoo that keeps the grease at bay is the Sleakeasy shampoo. You should try it out!” Jamie, ever so helpful, advised, and moved to position her hand behind Lily’s back. 
“Sorry about that Sir, we’ll cover the charges for the ill-fated lasagna,” Sirius apologised to the waiter as he helped him up from the ground. 
“Could you please get him out of this shop? He’s been troubling us, as you can see,” Dorcas asked, politely. 
The waiter simply looked baffled. However, he nodded and successfully escorted Snape out of the restaurant. 
“Now this is going to be quite the first date story to tell at the wedding.” Peter spoke up for the first time since they gathered at the table between the hydrangeas and the windows. 
Jamie blushed and looked around, anywhere but at Lily, though her hand never left Lily’s back, while the redhead laughed at her.
“Well, since we’re all together, we can have dessert and you can continue spying on us while sitting at our table,” Lily said. “Nice ears you’ve got there, Sirius. Though I’d prefer Dorcas’s floppy hat.”
“Yeah! I personally love the whiskers, Pete. Seriously, Marlene? A gily suit? Inconspicuous much? And Remus, you have enough sense to stop them!” Jamie put on. 
Remus just shrugged, his big crescent shaped moon hat toppling Mary’s tree hat downwards. “Sorry,” he said, bending to pick it up. 
“Thanks,” she said, when he gave the hat to her, “why did we agree to wear these again?”
“So we would be incognito, Mary”
“And we were successful! These oblivious dorks didn’t even realise that it was us until old snivelly pointed it out,” Sirius stated.
“Also, we did have ice-cream before coming here, so you guys should continue, we’ll leave,” Dorcas said. 
“Hey! We didn’t get to eat that ice-cream! You and Remus took it from us,” Marlene reprimanded. 
“Yeah! So we’ll be staying here and you guys can shoo away,” Sirius included. 
“Well in that case you can all leave and get yourselves ice cream while Lily and I can finally enjoy our date,” Jamie, now pushing Sirius, and shoo-ing the others to the doors, said. 
“Say what you want Jamie, I am enjoying our date,” expressed Lily. 
“You are?” Jamie turned around, completely forgetting the others in the room. 
“Well, looks like they’re more nauseating and lame than before. Should we go?” Asked Marlene. 
“Nah. Let’s just sit outside and spy on them through the window,” Sirius smirked. 
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Toko! I was thinking of creating an ask the character blog for IDV or Genshin Impact and wanted a few tips on how to start off. Anything you can share?
ey yo my dude!! thank you so much for this question, now im lowkey tempted (again) to make a genshin ask blog sjadhlkshgkahshglsaj anyway my 1.5 cents is under the cut, yall know how much i talk here HAHAHAHAH
uhhhhhh so i guess we start with picking a character u really Vibe with tm? I KNOW THIS SOUNDS LIKE COMMON SENSE BUT LIKE ive been considering making a genshin ask blog for a while now but i never really got to it cos i couldnt really decide on a character (plus the fact that their outfits are. so intricate. is also a hmm since i try to follow details to a t) (at first i wanted to do zhongli, but i feel like to be able to muse him well u need to know the lore super super well, which i dont n im too lazy to research on that aha. n u know how much i respect characterizations, especially for such a complex character like him. i also considered xiangling for a period of time mostly for guoba but also like i have 2+1 blogs here n having one more might not be a very good idea aha) (as for aesop he was my Hyperfixation Character tm also cos i looked at his kit n went Yep i could work with this. probably)
so assuming ur not a dumbass like me n u kinda know who u wanna pick, id actually say to snoop around here for other ask blogs n kinda get a feel of the... scene? is that the word? or like u know, other blogs that u can potentially vibe with. ive run a couple of ask blogs before this current one (both that have died for different reasons) n from my experience interacting with other blogs (if theyre okay with it, i think most should be) is pretty fun. it also kinda helps get ur blog around to other ppl on other blogs so they can go Oh whats this cool shit n check u out, n its also a reason why we kinda reblog promo posts for other blogs (also cos we’re always excited when someone new comes on, its really the more the merrier. we see all :eyes:). interacting with other blogs is also an option when ur inbox is looking real roomy too
another reason why i havent exactly done a genshin blog is that idk i cant actually seem to find genshin ask blogs around (i have seen rp blogs, or those that answer asks with mostly text instead of art, but thats. not my thing since i hate my own writing aha) (i did find one aether blog some time ago, but for some reason i hardly see them around anymore??? idk man i might be wrong). its not like im trying super hard to find them ask blogs, so im sure they exist out there (hopefully?? im not sure but im being optimistic). i mean theres nothing wrong with just starting an ask blog without others around, but for me i do find a difference when i interact with other ask blogs n when i dont, n i prefer when theres others to have fun with (unfortunately i couldnt find any ask blogs to interact with in my previous fandom. i tried, but the blogs i approached seemed to go inactive shortly afterwards...) plus u get to meet friends that way too :D (i made a lot of friends via idv askblogs n its really been a joy vibing with others)
as for the idv scene. gestures around me. unfortunately there are a lot of ask blogs that arent that active anymore, but theres still some of us who are alive n kicking empty inboxes, n im sure everyone would love to see a new face around. winks at u. also there seems to be a lot more blogs popping up lately, which is really heartening to see.
then u kinda just. make ur blog? n a starting introduction post so ppl can reblog it n spread the word XD n yay u have a blog i guess??? XD
i gotta say tho. dont expect ur blog to take off immediately (especially for smaller fandoms like idv, tvbh i didnt think my blog would even get half this far when i started cos of how non existent idv tumblr seemed to be) n ur inbox will probably be looking pretty empty a lot of the time (or at least filled with some that u havent quite thought of how to reply to yet aha) (but also like empty inboxes happen pretty often, im sure most of us here have experienced this problem)
in the case of the first ask blog i ever started, it never really took off at all. ngl it was kind of demoralizing n depressing but to be fair i had picked one of the more obscure characters in the series, so obscure that many ppl in the fandom would have never heard of this character before. if u wanted to know, i took a character that only appeared in the 2nd musical of the series, who also made a very brief cameo in the manga to acknowledge his existence within that universe. thats how obscure my character was, but i went with him purely because he was my favourite character. i will say though i did enjoy it while it lasted n i learnt a lot from the experience, n i think thats whats important really.
i guess this kinda leads on (not really but let me digress) to the whole uhhhh thing where if u choose a more popular character, u get more attention. which is fine i guess? if u really vibe with the character, i mean theyre popular for a reason. n choosing a more popular fandom (like genshin) would objectively also get u more viewers n numbers. but like honestly i believe that ask blogs are meant for u to have fun with, n like trying to get popular gets tiring pretty fast (this shouldnt be like a main goal, but u know sometimes u subconsciously also want that gucci follower count n bomb ass notes or something. i used to be guilty of this until i realized it isnt worth it) especially if ur not enjoying yourself in the process. (case in point: my previous fandom was considerably larger n my blog got about 700 followers within a year or so, but it got very tiring n stressful to maintain after my interest in it died, n no one was really interacting with the blog even though i tried which kinda made it even more depressing despite the so called success n popularity of the blog)
anyway on a less serious note, theres a lot of fun stuff u can do with the ask blog, like some ask blogs have really fancy tags that i really like n try to do but also like not really HAHAHAHA. i kinda just channel what i want to see in an ask blog into my own ask blogs (good art is one, i try very hard for it to be good :,DD another is characterization, n others is just extra miscellaneous arts n stuffs like au ideas or memes. these are also somethings u could work on during ask box downtimes perhaps)
uhhh another side thing is like a posting schedule i guess? like ppl would be more likely to interact (i think) if ur blog is relatively active, n this is usually determined by the last post u made (i think XD). but like generally for blog maintenence id say try to kinda find a frequency that ur comfortable with?? cos i know my once a day posting is kinda insane if i wasnt so hyperfixated on all of this n fight the urge to dump all ur replies when u finish them XD (though ive seen some blogs do that n they do it pretty frequently so its pretty nice to know once u see their post u can spend some time going through the latest batch of posts XD) the queue function is pretty useful here even though i truthfully have never really used it, i kinda just post from my drafts really but it also helps to space out ur content to seem somewhat active especially when u dont have the time to be working on replies sometimes. i hope u know what im trying to say here aha
ANYWAY that was like my 1.5 cents cos i dont even think its worth 2 cents HAHAHAHAH these are just my thoughts from running all my blogs up till now, some that are still running n the others that have just died a natural death. i wouldnt actually delete them (theyre still around actually XD) cos theyre kinda like archives n i can look back at what i did last time. cos ngl i made some high quality stuff back then, n i dont even know how i managed to do that aldhflhdsgk. also ppl do look at archive blogs every now n then for the content thats there yknow
BUT YES anyway if u do decide to join the idv ask blogs hmu, ill be sure to give u a lil shoutout here. winks
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spnshameblog · 3 years
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I wish Jensen was as horrified by people shipping Dean with his brother as he seems to be over Destiel.
i'm not gonna lie, i have bad feelings, too. i think that jensen has done a lot of things that have led to lgbt/queer kids feeling invalidated and he has given a lot of people ammunition to bully us over fictional ships. i also think that was entirely unintentional, but that doesnt make it better.
i gotta be honest, i take a lot of the info out there with several grains of salt, especially unverified stuff and fan stories. people like to lie on the internet. (i remember a few years ago someone made up chris evans having a panic attack at a convention and cevans himself had to clear that up bc concerned fans kept messaging him) i know he doesnt like talking about destiel at cons and the few times he did pre-despair werent that positive.
i think bc his first real exposure to shipping was w*ncest he mentally equated shipping to fetishisation and hes not the only one. you can tell from a lot of comments that other actors (sometimes even misha) think fanfic is all about smut and that its mostly written by horny straight women aged 16 to 45. which is incorrect and hurtful, but ok.
the way he talks about the confession scene is jarringly different and enthusiastic. there has been this meet and greet where he got asked a few questions about it and while i, again, like to be sceptical about these types of sources, it does match up with his general behaviour wrg to the confession. i think he genuinely had a change of perspective some time in the later seasons and i dont think he was ever actually horrified by the existence of destiel, but annoyed about his own misinterpretation of what destiel actually meant to the fans. not gonna defend him for that tho, he did contribute to the mistreatment and gaslighting of queer spn fans, even if that was never his intention.
now w*ncest is another thing. it drives me up the wall whenever w*ncest and destiel are in any way put into relation to each other and as much as i love robbie, im fucking mad about them having both of the "ships" in fan fiction in the first place. however: sam and dean CONSISTENTLY react to w*ncest with disgust, confusion and horror, like duh. w*ncest is, iirc, mentioned more times in-universe than destiel as a ship. fan fiction has the only mention of destiel as a fictional ship, whereas w*ncest has been mentioned multiple times before, aka in every episode becky is in. its always portrayed as ridiculous, mostly played for laughs and never taken seriously. to the cast and crew of spn w*ncest is a non-thing bc it disqualifies itself by its own nature. nobody in their right mind (which excludes most w*ncest shippers sadly) would expect them to actually put i//ncest on screen. its easier to joke about this, simply because its so ridiculous.
i think jensen and co dont see w*ncest itself as a 'danger', thats why they never talk about how disgusted they are by it, its a foregone conclusion. it cannot be treated seriously bc its simply too bogus.
destiel however. unless youre a raging homophobe or devout biblical christian there is nothing morally wrong with destiel, which makes it harder to discredit it as a joke, which is why you cant joke about it so easily. not that you should lmao, but i dont claim to know what goes on in these mens heads.
this got way too long so im gonna try to wrap it up:
i think its not that jensen is less horrified by w*ncest than destiel. there would be something really wrong with him if he was. i think he can put w*ncest and all its crazy fans into a box and label it "too ridiculous to care about except when they send my wife rusty nails". i dont claim to know what exactly his problem with destiel was/is, but if i had to make a guess its that he spent a long time misinterpreting what destiel actually was and just treated it as another outlet for horny teens, which i wont defend him for. i think he really mellowed out on that front, but kept his grumpy persona for a while (hes clearly not uncomfortable with ppl thinking thoughts about him and misha in situations or else he wouldnt act like THAT at cons tho, so idk). His positive and enthusiastic comments surrounding the confession and his open-ness about dean reciprocating (which is still a cop out, ngl. idc if he said he didnt want it to be one) ESPECIALLY compared to his glacial silence surrounding the finale show me that he is not at all disgusted or horrified by destiel.
tl;dr this man is an enigma to me and there are a couple of things i hold against him, but i truly dont think he is horrified by destiel.
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Hello, maybe you coukd give me some tips. I send you that ask already but it means ght be deleted by tumblr and it was all messy and ugly.
So I have one childhood friend, we used to do everything together till highschool. Often she was my only friend, like now. We slowly started to distance from each other sonce she has a boyfriend. For all those years I did my best to accept him and all, told myself that duh she is not obliged to spent time only with me even in situation when she spent less and less time with me. Sometime I had a bit trouble to fully accept bf because sometime when they argued she was venting to me and I felt like his is hurting her but she refused to break up with him. Boy eas very insecure, no friends and so on and one day around graduating junior hight school she wanted to break up with him but he said something like he is gonna hurt himself if she will, or just drop out the school. So she wanted to wait at least until he graduate, but she waited longer. Then just after we graduated hightschool she broke up with him like she had enought. It was prolly a mistake but after she vent I said one or two things about him concerning past events and I said 'wow finally'. After a while they made up and she said she just missend him. I promissed mtself I will never comment whatever she tell me about them, unless in a good way.
Well... the point is that I am probably jellous, that she doesnt want to spent time with me anymore. Alway if I ask her out I give her to eventually pick the date, if nit today then maybe tomorrow etc y know introvert way :D And im trying to save this friendship? She is not the person busy 24/7, unless maybe when she is in uni or we count playing games as being busy. I play games too sometime.
Sometime it seems like she tries to avoid me and dont want to tell me anything. One day I was talking to her in cafee and she was just fidgeting with her phone. She didnt even like heck the socialmedia, just switching between random (system?) folders on the phone. When I asked abt it why she doesnt listen, she said she wanted to do sth but forgot what. Another time I havent seen her for months and she alway soent holidays 1 month her bf comes to her (he lives abroad already I guess) and I dont want to disturb them of feel like third wheel and the other month she come to him. So like week before she pnanned to go I asked her to go out next day. She said she cant. So asked another day, she answered : but I go to my bf. So I surprised that its that soon and sad I missed the oportunity: oh really? When? She: on Friday me: but its Monday(?)(no answer) so...? She: ught I know ;;; but lately I dont really feel like going anywhere :(
Well... maybe I'm childish but I felt sad.
I'm also jellous that they even celebrate each others bdays altought she never do that bc of religious reasons and I've always respected that.
Once I asked her what is with us, we barely talk for last few years and I feel like she is avoiding me. She had no Idea what I was talking about, she felt like everything was the same.
I was told to not have much hope or expectations toward her bu maybe try to text her or maybe arrange a meeting once in a while and try not to become bitter.
The other one sait that that how adulthood looks like, we become busier with private issues and so on and I may act childish and selfish, but as far as I know except for time she go to uni or to her bf she is not that busy, definitely not that busy not to have time to meet with me more than once in a whole year (or none) when we live ~20min apart by foot. I dont want to be burden to anyone or feel like third wheel so I dunno what to do. I have problem with finding friends, she was my only one friend (?) for years. I dont trust ppl easly
I wanted to do more things together outside since we both used to or still do soent too much time on the computer but well... you know, together is easier.
Since I have to do it on my own maybe you have some ideas? Thats stupid wuestion I guess since you dont know my environment. Jogging and biking wont work I guess since I dont have proper bike. I wanted to plant some flowers but I was afraid I screw everything up since im kida kid who grow up in the bubble and Im not sure how to do basics and nobody wanted to help me and its too late already... Walk is fine but I prefer places far from road and since I'm not supposed to go to the forest that I love I dont have many spots to go.
I am sorry for long post. Any even tiny help would be appreaciated. I hope thats not much of the problem, have a nice day or night :)
-PineconeAnon
I do think that it's time for you to let go of the friendship. I know that's hard to do but people grow apart and that's okay. It's okay. You'll be able to make better relationships and move forward but you have to learn to let go and keep walking forward. It sounds like you're holding onto this friendship because you want to keep going on like it's the past but...
It doesn't work like that. Change happens. It hurts sometimes but it's not a bad thing. You can reflect on this with time and learn how to be able to accept it. You need someone that wants to hang out with you and relax with you. It's not childish to be upset but it's important to see when people just... don't have time for you anymore and feelings change.
It just seems like you both have a fundamental misunderstanding and if you can't talk that through, then it's not working. You can try to talk about it but it seems like it'd be better to just let go. She doesn't think there's something wrong but you do. If you feel stress around her instead of friendship, it's not great.
But, that's up to you, you know? You decide your relationships what you want them to be.
I don't really have great advice for making friends as an adult. I'm not exactly going out and interacting with people. I can suggest finding a new set of friends online by joining Discords and interacting with the fandoms you're in because that's how I've made friends. It's easier to do that if you're anxious about making friends outside.
Try new hobbies. Take a deep breath. If you want to garden, try it out. You're not going to be perfect the first time. It's a learning process at anything and you have to just try. You don't get to live it if you don't try. You have to consider your limits and reflect on what is going to be the easiest thing to try.
It's never too late.
Try to start small and work your way up.
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golbrocklovely · 3 years
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Dude when she cursed at the chat after she cursed at one person i was like 🤦🏼. I just knew it was going to blow up, and the mods were divided between telling her to chill and defending her before they put it on emote only. She's a public figure technically, and yeah it sucks to see people coming at you but its way worse to react that way you know because even if they are not fans, they still know who she is and its not a good look. Imagine if JC went on her stream and got mad and went off, her chat would react the same. People kept commenting how much they loved Franny and Nezzas facial expressions because you could tell they were over it & JC laughed and said he noticed that and loved Frannys expressions. A simple trivia stream or a cooking stream would be good for Tara but this.... to literally stall, change the rules,curse, and complain is not a good look. If it wasnt the 'Im a vegetarian' comment she said "Im going to throw up", "I need my inhaler", "I have dinner with Jake after i cant drink" like girl theres saying "I cant handle this challenge please let me do something else" & saying she's up for anything but when it comes to she complains and throws a fit. Thing is Jazmin also annoyed people because she kept trying to negotiate but she also did the challenges like ate wet dog food, and let JC draw on her with a sharpie eventhough she had a date right after..
Me too, i expect this from her, she's done so many lives and said stuff thats made me side eye her like the sugar surgery stream, her comments on how it was okay to party on and off during the pandemic, and JCs streams to where im like 1000% positive if i were ever to meet her i would not mesh well with her energy. I cant handle people like that. Plus JC is literally a very nice guy and even if he kids a lot and takes that type of treatment doesnt mean he deserves it.
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i know these aren't all the same ppl, but i figured since you all were talking about tara, i'd put them all together :)
1st ask: yeah, i don't exactly love the fact that she cursed at his chat, regardless of what they were saying back to her (as long as they weren't being threatening towards her, which i don't think they were). not to mention this is someone else's fanbase; don't be mean to them bc you feel like they don't like you for not playing the game that you said you would play.
and yeah those suggestions for streams would be good with tara.
and no offense to jc, but like... this whole stream doesn't sound fun the way you guys are talking about it haha (i mean, i figure it probs was to some degree). but i get complaining about the challenges bc they are weird or hard. but there does come a point when you gotta shit or get off the pot, you know?
i know we've talked about the sugar stream before. i don't think anything was wrong with that stream, and i don't really wanna talk about it since it's an old discussion. but i get not liking tara for whatever reason.
i do wanna say tho, that is jc allows her to treat him like that, that's his own prerogative, and if he can't stand up to her, that's his own shit to deal with. not for us to assume.
2nd ask: i think she does well on her own lives bc it's her fanbase and she knows how to interact with them. i also think with her own fanbase, she knows the demo is relatively young. so cursing or being vulgar probs isn't the way to go. vs jc's fanbase, who are more young adult-ish, it's easier for her to let loose and curse and be an adult, which she is lol
and i get the spit takes and whatnot. i think she was probs just being a bit dramatic bc she was uncomfortable.
3rd ask: i obviously don't know how she brought up her severe asthma and whatnot, so i can't really comment on it. obviously, you can be upset since you have it if you think she's lying or up-playing the asthma she has. maybe she meant that she didn't bring her inhaler with her in front of the stream bc it was in her bag somewhere else in the house? again, not sure of the context in which she said it. but maybe that's what she meant.
and i still feel like, the way you guys are describing it, she should have just been there for moral support. but maybe she assumed jc would tone down the challenges or make them super easy. idk of course.
i also feel like, in general, that maybe tara acted the way she did bc she wasn't in a good mood, for whatever reason. that doesn't give her the right to curse and yell at jc's stream, but it might explain her actions a bit better to know that maybe she wasn't really in the best headspace.
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1-800-i-ship-it · 4 years
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khun modern bf headcanons?
Hmm oof i am probably not the best person to be asking this cause I dont write fics or anything but I’ll do my best
So i realized that i just wrote plot stuff but im posting anyway cause i spent way too long on this ahaha 
apologies in advance for typos that I'm too lazy to go through and correct
Enjoy the headcanons that i wrote later + plots that i originally wrote and went on a long tangent on oops
Headcanons:
Khun would be that subtle overprotective boyfriend 
He’d just kinda silently watch from afar but he’d totally kill anybody who hurt bam in any way, shape, or form
But he’d like be SUPER sweet with bam like
Pet names yall PET NAMES like khun and bam would prob both mutually melt when they call each other pet names
Khun would always help bam with hw and whatnot, let’s pretend bam’s a physics genius cause thats just how i imagine him in modern life, always has trouble with law class (he’s  taking it just for khun so he can understand what khun’s talking about) so khun helps him
Khun would be a super smooth talker, can woo a n y b o d y, exceptional at speeches, captain of speech and debate team
Khun would never admit he’s jealous but like the whole gang would know (except for bam who’s clueless as usual) 
Like bam is friendly with everybody so khun’d just be like ugh screw yall 
But then bam always confides in him and spends a crapload amt of time with him so he knows he’s just doubting himself and he’s mad at himself about it cause he knows bam is loyal to a fault and would never betray him
When bam gets older bam uses this against him hehe
Khun would also be that bf that everyones jealous of 
Everyone would want to be with khun but he only has eyes for bam
Ignores everybody else who hits on him
Side note i still stan top!bam and bottom!khun 
Khun would also be super thoughtful and goes out of his way to help make bam’s life easier whether its doing chores or smth etc, and each time bam smiles at him and expresses his gratitude khun’s heart would melt for the 1000th time
But like secretly khun really likes confident and sexy bam
They’d probably roleplay ngl (let ur imagination wonder~)
Khun would enjoy just spending time with bam :’) just cuddling and doing mundane things, they’d be super adorable together, hugs and kisses and ah just too cute-
Khun secretly likes bdsm and bam knows this 😏they switch roles from time to time, i cant decide who’s sub/dom
Khun would plan a super elaborate proposal to bam but then somehow bam would catch him off guard and then khun would just blurt it out when they’re together <3
Khun’d always be up early to cook for bam, they both morning ppl tho khun’s always sleep deprived bc hes also a night owl 
Khun is shy with pda in public but eventually he and bam decide they dont care anymore and just hold hands and act all lovey dovey to the point where shibisu cant decide if he’s a proud dad or if he wants to throw up, rak is always proud of his turtles, endorsi and hatz literally want to throw up all the time and would die before admitting that they secretly approve of khunbam
Khun is all around a model bf that i am sure half the fandom would be willing to date but im sorry guys khun’s taken cause he’s only got eyes for bam~
Plot things/idk what they’re called:
CEO!khun and intern!bam
Assassin!khun and assassin!bam who eventually get together and destroy the corrupt system
Gdi i thought of so many while having dinner but i forgot
Hmmmm
Imagine bam as jue viole grace like forced to work in a gang or smth and then khun as the gang boss 
I totally dont have a thing for badass assassin themed things pls dont judge me
Teacher!khun and student!bam (ofc it’d be near graduation if u get my drift...😏)
Idk why i thought of this but imagine idol khun o.o wait YO idol khun + assistant bam
Tutor!khun and student!bam 
I feel like im literally just saying the same ideas
Theres a reason why im not a fic writer :’)
High school sweethearts -> angst bc parents dont approve, sad forced breakup, no contact -> get back together when older after a time-lapse when they’re more mature, heated reunion 
Best friends bam and khun since preschool, since they were in the womb, PINING, both of them scared to admit it cause they dont want to ruin their friendship, meanwhile the entire gang is betting on them getting together (aka mainly rak and shibisu betting, hatz, endorsi, anaak, (insert s2 and s3 gang dont wanna spoil) everybody etc)
Uni students with khun as a law major and bam as a cs major (both geniuses, nerd bam), roommates *insert smirk* lots of pining, blushes from them casually changing in front of each other...the rest is up to ur imagination
Khun and bam as rival sports teams coaches 
Age gap!khunbam (not a lot, somewhere between 5-8 yrs), with bam as the younger one who kept saying that he loves khun but khun just laughs it off bc bams a kid but then khun sees bam after he comes back from college and bam gets a massive glowup from clueless cinnamon roll to clueless cinnamon roll hottie who only has the hots for khun (still) and then khuns all like “fuck” *dies inside*
Single dad khun, bam as a daycare employee who keeps getting flustered by khun, khun takes interest in bam bc he doesn’t ask nosy questions like other ppl, and bam has these mesmerizing golden eyes
Tailor/dry cleaner owner!bam and office worker!khun who constantly needs his clothes to be altered so they fit exactly how he wants them to (this eventually results in awkward moments and blushing), and also dry cleans like his countless number of suits and dress shirts and whatnot
Author!khun and publishing assistant!bam (is it even called publishing assistant honestly i have no idea but u get what i mean right), khun never signs books but bam convinces him to 
Poet!khun and uni student!bam as a literature major who’s a big fan and wanted to meet khun at one of his signings but is too shy even though shibisu drags him there, accidentally bumps into khun in the bathroom, is all flustered, ends up talking to khun for super long, khun loves bam’s enthusiasm for the subject, offers to give feedback on bam’s poems, bam is literally about to combust, they have lots of meetings and khun flirts with bam who’s clueless but blushes a lot anyway, they kiss *ahem* the rest is history
Spy!khun and bam, khun realizing he doesn’t want to hurt bam, sends fake info back to his country (ruled by eduan and jahad), eduan finds out (sent khun out in the first place bc khun was a threat to him cause the ppl liked khun better), sends out an assassin to get khun, who knows this and escapes with bam somewhere, some complicated plot taht idk how to figure out but you get the drift, eventually khun rules the country with bam
Real estate agent khun and contractor bam, eventually start their own business together
Khun as student pres, also known as the ice king bc he’s turned down dating everyone who asked, bam as the transfer student who catches his attention  (bam with more of a jue viole grace complex), the silent physics genius who is also on par with khun when debating in speech and debate club 
Khun and bam as besties, always do their hw together and hang out after class (cause bam always needs help haha), something leads to them fake dating, eventually real dating 😏
Khun and bam as besties, always do their hw together and hang out after class (cause bam always needs help haha), someone (rachel, DO NOT KILL ME I HAVE A REASON) asks bam out and he doesn't know how to say no (the rest of the gang egging him to date cause they know khuns gonna be jelly) khun goes and sulks, eventually bam gets hurt and manipulated by her, khun is pissed off, rachel is reported for abuse, khun and the gang fight for bam, khun is there for bam all the time, after a while bam asks khun out of the blue if khun likes him (shibisu let it slip that khun is gay bc god knows bam is oblivious af), khun is shocked but says yes bc he cant hide it anymore, bam says he always loved khun but thought khun was straight (bc of some dumb rumor someone said) which was why he ignored his feelings and agreed to date rachel bc he just wanted to distract himself, lots of cuddling thereafter, they get together, rak wins the bet for when khunbam will get together, khunbam gets married
oh man that became way longer than i expected...anon i hope u enjoyed that? half of it prob made 0 sense ngl and idek if i answered the q properly?
kudos to you if you actually read like all my rambling :’)
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fairycosmos · 4 years
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hi chloe 💕 I need some help and you’re so beautiful and wise. I have been dating a lot and face rejection after rejection. I’ll get to know someone, go out a few times, and sometimes get really excited and into them. they compliment me constantly, tell me I’m attractive, sweet, caring, and interesting, but then they say they don’t feel a connection or spark. I’m so sad. I feel like everyone I meet says I’m such a catch but no one actually wants me, even when we have tons in common :(
thank u sm for seeing me so positively my love, thats really sweet of you 🥺 and i’m so sorry to hear you’re struggling with this right now. if you want to know what i think.... i think it’s very normal to get discouraged when you’ve been in the dating game for a while, trying to find something that sicks. it’s one of the most frustrating things about seeking romance/connection - when you’re looking for it everywhere it evades you, then suddenly hits you like a ton of bricks in the way you were least expecting it to. just out of nowhere. and we rarely get to choose how or when it happens down to the letter. sometimes it seems like fates playing a stupid game. it can feel like a waste of time or like a never ending cycle, so i’d suggest being kind and patient with yourself when the anger or the sadness regarding it flares up. rather than trying to make sense of it or trying to push it away. just let it sit with you and then breathe and let it go. even if you have to let it go over and over again. recognize that emotions are temporary storms of inner turmoil, they’re not facts or reflective of your future. and confronting them head on - through crying, through talking to your loved ones about whats going on, through writing, anything you find cathartic - can make them feel a lot lighter. then it’ll become easier to accept the bottom line, which is that the spark, unfortunately, cant be forced. and that isn’t a matter of personal fault, or because you have some great unforgivable flaw. look the thing is, you are attractive and sweet and caring and interesting and you had all of those traits before anybody recognized them, and so you will continue to have them whether you’re single or married 10 years from now...it’s not necessarily about you even though i totally understand why it feels 100% personal. it’s just that two people falling for each other at exactly the right moment in exactly the right way in exactly the right environment is a lot rarer than most of us want to admit. the time has to be right in both peoples lives. they have to be ready to put as much into it as you are and if they’re not then it’s not because you don’t deserve it, it’s because the future needs to leave room for the person who actually is right for you. i promise, your worth doesn’t lie in how wantable you are. you’re a whole person and the bond that you’re looking for is going to be a collaboration of feelings and friendship and romance and love, not based on someone falling for you because you have the entire world to offer them. they’ll love you any way, even on the days that you’re not sweet and caring and at your best. you know? it’s about life working out enough to a point where both ppl can foster such a connection, imo. i know it probably seems impossible to apply this to the context of your life right now, with how downtrodden you feel and how long its been, and thats totally understandable. but i hope you can at least try to consider letting go the idea that self blame is the way to go, cause it’s not. you have so much more time than you realize, to experience true and real romantic love. it can happen in different ways over and over, at 25, at 40, at 70. as long as you’re open to it, it’s out there for you. god i hope this doesn’t sound patronizing, or like i even know anything about it because really my beliefs are based on what i’ve observed. thats all...and i’d appreciate anyone elses imput who has been through something similar. but despite that, i’m pretty certain that you are a catch, angel. you’re just tired and worn out, and probably younger than you feel. and maybe need to take a break from trying to find love at every corner. instead let it rush up to meet you when it chooses. im sending you a lot of warmth and i hope you’re taking care of yourself first and foremost. i’ll be here if you need a friend  🐝
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sleepymouses · 4 years
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tagged by @littlepetbee, thank uuuu <3 i spent way too long thinking about htis lol,
Rules: pick 5 shows, then answer the following questions, tag a bunch o ppls to do it too (if y’all want to, supes no pressure or anything!)
Natsume yuujinchou  (a teenage orphan who sees spirits/monsters sets out to free the spirits who were bound in magical contract by his grandmother after he inherits a powerful book, aided primarily by a spirit who appears as an exasperated fat cat (who is just as fun as he sounds). Titular character is like my Fave boy in the whole world, he’s so kind and soft despite all the hardships he’s faced, the series has very gentle pacing/character development, and each episode is a carefully crafted lil story that have often moved me to tears, chuckles, or outright chinhands of fondness as u watch natsume slowly find a home in the world and amongst the humans &spirits around him. big focus on friendships, there’s like no romance with any of the main characters, lots of cool different creatures (most of whom arent all that scary once u get to know them), its just literally everything i could ever dream for in a show and it exists! <3)
Leverage (team of modern day robin hoods ruin rich peoples’ lives via  delightfully crafted spy cons to give back to the regular folks the rich people hurt. Extremely good, strong found family vibes, and v cathartic)
Brooklyn 99 (follows diverse cast of character who make up a NY precinct. Hilarious, immensely wholesome & groundbreaking, & probs the most lighthearted crime show besides like psych tbh)
Blackspot/Zone Blanche (spoopy french/belgium crime series set in a small village way out in the mountains surrounded by misty, mysterious and murdery woods. eerie and atmospheric, but also like one of my fave characters (everyone calls him teddy bear) keeps a pet guinea pig at work, so it’s not entirely grim and bleak)
Longmire (a modern western crime drama centering around the titular sheriff and others in their small town wyoming county, well written and lot of chracter development revealed alongside some really good case mysteries bc i love trying to figure out whodunits apparently based on a book series well adored by dads btw)
who is your favorite character in 2? (leverage) ahhh,,, this is hard... Eliot maybe? like Hardison is baby ofc, but i relate to elliot a ton (i think if i was on a team i would want to be the hitter tbh?) and love the subversion of so many action hero tropes that he is, also endlessly amused by how very put upon he is despite all his rad/random skills
who is your least favorite character in 1? (natsume yuujinchou) oh seiji matoba for sure, he can go eat a mouldy tree stump. absolutely evil nasty dude
what is your favorite episode of 4? (blackspot) the end of the road. great opening, didnt end up too devastating unlike a lot of the cases, Hermann was gr8, cool twist i hadnt super expected in the plot which was neat.
what is your favorite season of 5? (longmire) probs 1, walter reeally started to piss me off being Such A Man in later seasons, also me being extremely anxious about Henry and his life choices later, that creepy stalker storyline starting up with Someone and when Someone else in the main cast got died really suddenly and upsettingly later on as well, also when a weird relationship started between some of the characters that i really aint feeling so. before all that happened was nice (also sorry if this is super vague, im trying to avoid spoilers)
who is your favorite couple in 3? (B99) Besides Jake/Amy and Holt/Kevin (bc oviously theyre gr8) uh.. i know it was a long time ago and didnt last very long, but i thought rosa and marcus were really sweet? it brought another layer out to her character, even when they broke up that helped rosa starting to show emotional vulnerability and all, even tho it ended it was still just, idk, i liked them.
who is your favorite couple in 2? (leverage) Does trio count, cos Parker/Eliot/Harding 4 life yo
what is your favorite episode of 1? (natsume yujinchou) i have sooo many faves ahhh!!! i dont think i could pick just one on pain of death, every episode is acrefully cosntructed gem all on its own and i have too many that i love and adore to pick jsut one :((
what is your favorite episode of 5? (longmire) Dog soldier!! ive rewatched that one a ton, so so many good bits, really satisfying resolution of the case despite the shitty system that was revealed, and i rmr getting chills by the end the first time i saw it.
what is your favorite season of 2? (leverage) i guess season 1? just, idk, everything being set up and watching all these grumpies/less grumpies who have no plans to stay together start working together as a baby team, and just the joy of seeing their first heist together with the first plot twist, just.. such a delight, but all seasons that ive seen so far were all excellent, it’s a stellar show
how long have you watched 1? (natsume yujinchou) oh idk exactly, like years and years man... defs the longest out of all on this list
how did you become interested in 3? (b99) i think it was just on netflix way back in season 1 and i started watching it, loved it and never stopped? i think that might have even been before it got rlly popular lol
who is your favorite actor in 4? (blackspot) i dont rlly know any of these french peeps? but teddybear’s one of my fave characters, so hopefully the person who plays him is also cool, in which case hubert delattre (if not, Suliane Brahim does a v good job as the lead)
which do you prefer, 1, 2, or 5? (natsume yujinchou, leverage or longmire) um... real torn between natsume and leverage here, they’re both such lovely gems that do found family so, so well.. leverage is a team of modern robin hood-esque spies with brilliant writing and exciting heists and multiple delightful plot twists every episode and great character building and so much catharticism in ruining evil rich peoples lives.
but natsume’s title character is one of my very favorite characters ever, hes been through so much but he becomes the most kindest and thoughtful boy ever, and its so, so soft and gentle in its development of characters and their slow build of getting to know each other and becoming friends, and the interactions with the paranormal world are very rarely entirely malicious/scary, and there’s pretty well no romance, at least like no romance for plot/with the main characters anyways, and there’s lots of female characters who have important roles but arent sexualized/killed off for man feels/exist for romo (which sadly cannot be said about a lot of media, especially manga/anime tbh, even leverage does not win entirely on that front).. its defintiely my favorite anime ever (i dont watch loads, but literally no other one can ever come close to topping its perfection),
i guess tho, leverage is over, and natsume is still technically ongoing, so i guess for that then i have to go with natsume?
which show have you seen more episodes of, 1 or 3? (natsume yuujinchou or b99) Natsume for sure, they’re so short its easy to power thru like half a season in an afternoon
if you could be anyone from 4, who would you be? (blackspot) i would probably want to be someone who didnt live in villefranche actually haha uh, it’s a pretty spoopity place.. even some of the characters i do like make some Bad decisions that are v bothersome. Dr. Leila barami seems to have a good head on her shoulders tho, so if i Must be a character here then let’s go with her
would a crossover between 3 and 4 work? (b99 or blackspot) oh god... the cheery upbeat department at the 99 meet up with a grim, misty tiny mountain forest village with bleak day to day life, solving crimes amidst small town paranoia and weird maybe cult-related conspiracies and honestbhly something/s paranormal and menacing going on in the woods?? i just... cant see any of the characters even interacting lol, im just picturing jake’s confused befuddled face when he hears something weird but like x 10000
pair two characters in 1 who would make an unlikely but strangely okay couple? (natsume yujinchou) hm... i mean, one of the things i love about Natsume is that there arent really any romo relationships tbh? at least not with any of the main characters in the main storyline (so far), just like the odd one-off of minor characters (and takashi’s adopted parents ofc, but that’s different). so, yeah, i cant really think of one (although i think the big fandom fave ship of takashi and his worst enemy is rlly.. nope, and i dont know what’s going on there? takashi and tanama however, that would make sense, tho it is not unlikely so i cant answer this question with them)
overall, which show has the better storyline, 3 or 5? (b99 or longmire) b99! cos ya know my annoyances with some of the stuff happening later on in longmire lol, b99 just got better n better as it went along, and it’s still going :’)
which has the better theme music, 2 or 4? (leverage or blackspot) blackspot has a real good eerie atmospheric theme which is gr8 and i love it <3 (leverage’s tune is like, elevator music/cheesy jazzy spy tune, which does suit it tho lol)
and idk, anyone bored and stuck at home who wants to do this? no pressure if ur like nah but if u wanna go ahead.... @creepy-friend-of-darkness @anna-wa @rhinky-thingz @rexbasileus @aeolian-harp @warrenkoles @softbrobarnes @damnitttana @cluelesswolf @moondoggiestyle @blloodorangeisthenewblack @my-nail-beds-suck @frankiecolours @savvylikeyeahhh @lake-effectkidx @justhugharry @casualmisandry @j4ya @galaxygalpals @thesecondwarm @dealwright @knipperdollin @curlycombover @kaspbrakeddie (and if i didnt tag u and u still wanna do this, consider yeself tagged)
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alukaforyou · 4 years
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and ALSO sry to post bs on main im mostly just talking to myself in my personal tag half the time so yolo, no need to respond to this or reassure me or whatever but these days i licherally question how much of my - sry to sound like a broken record - bs is dépression or just my shité mentality, like i rly was not designed to last, huh? physically or mentally? lol. like who gets motion sickness on swings lmao anyways. i think i give up too easily. theres a bunch of reasons y but i dont feel like saying. its a different thing to kind of kno something, and to admit / speak it (confront it). i could psychoanalyze myself all day and tell u exactly why some things are the way they are but its too unpleasant to neatly state stuff like that u kno?? like... *i kno* but im not gonna say i kno. anywho, i digress. so i give up easily and kind of have a defeatist mentality too, its so exhausting lool. actually its weird cuz duality of man, i'll be rly determined / stubborn abt doing some stuff and not care abt fear of failure with certain things but when it comes to My Life / My Future i just think i cant rly do anything? i mean that literally like i got no skillz *laugh crying emoji* not particularly good at anything, and art - the only thing im maybe arguably ok at - i dont wanna do as a career, that is art therapy for me i dont feel like commercializing it. not interested in working in my major, maybe things wouldve been different if i went to culinary or cosmetology school?? that sounds fun. or if i majored in bio cuz i was so good at that, or even if i majored in japanese language or literature or idk. but no regrets tho cuz i learned a lot abt drawing in art school which i can use for myself. and hmm i like staying home and not rly going out of my way to meet new ppl so connections what? i h8 hearing how most opportunities come through the ppl u kno cuz its true and ik like 10 ppl tops so hm very sexi of me :^) i just feel like im p much f*cked and it rly doesnt help that i have no functional dreams, goals, or aspirations nor the confidence and drive to work towards anything so ah ok cool. u kno suga's songs "the last" and "so far away" ? that p much sums up my feels minus the part abt having to deal w fame obviously LOL. its so easy being a student (for me at least) but being a good student isnt really worth a whole lot in the """""real world""""" and the current education system doesnt even rly prepare u for reality or w.e like Deep Sigh also the political climate rly lookin like shité out there like hmmmmm do i even wanna try so hard to be here anymore tho??? also going back to the self confidence thing, ya idk her LOOOOL like it doesnt very much bother me tho? i really, honest to god have no idea what my redeeming qualities even are. being nice? and my mindset re - tolerance and compassion for others, etc, ya im rly proud of that actually but besides that i mean like what can i Do tho like hm im not particularly good at anything also im hideous like uglee but thats ok too like none of this Bothers me, thats just literally how i Am so ok fine, but i feel like it makes it hard for me to exist in the world i happen to be in??? and i realize im speaking with a huge bias here cuz my brain is totally out of whack im p sure if some1 saw me / read this they would lit be like um u literally do not have it hard girl, which is fair ur kinda right actually from an objective pov, probably? its amazing how um. hard? of a time my brain is having given my relatively ok circumstances but thats just how it is ig. and if i may quote shakespeare - o full of scorpions is my mind. and its weird cuz duality of man - i actually have a lot of good times w friends and whatever i have a lot of fun, im not even very Sad or in Agony its all very a mild? sensation? but that might be because my plan b is to simply *** so nothing rly fazes me anymore lool.
its usually a v confusing emotion, im either feeling happy, or if not that, very ???? im literally that duwang quote get a feeling so complicated its just "ajdjsjsja" idk its not overly repulsive and upsetting im like :s LOL u kno wat at this point idek what im even saying anymore but its good that im writing whatever cuz im gonna need to look back on this later and organize my thoughts for presentation cuz remember i have a s.o now???? i wanna let them kno so we r on the same page, and i dont feel like im tricking them, i thought it over more and there are like 4? major cards i wanna lay out on the table early on and they are 1. im not that close w my family emotionally so do not seek their approval or expect to deal with them much. 2. personal ideology / political views like im bi lmao and pro lgbt if that wasnt obvious also i dont rly wanna be around racists / terfs etc and if ur right wing or not on that respect women juice uhhh bye.. 3. my weak ass mentality how i might Maybe *** in the future like no promise but errrr theres one more but its a little more negotiable and also too early to discuss so i wont mention it but i already got the first two outta the way so ya. theres the most troublesome of all, #3. the last thing i wanna do is traumatize someone that loves me (and i love back) with that kinda thing, its too late for my dear friends whom i love, sorry i didnt kno i was gonna be like this LOL yall already got attached but its a little different with my s.o cuz i feel like its not too late to uh.... stop getting as attached LMAO like dam i've known my girls for almost 10 years whereas i've only known my s.o for like a month.
and this is totally not gonna come across right but if my s.o very understandably desides to dump me id be SO RELIEVED LIKE WOOOO ok cool cuz like essentially what i'd be saying is you are getting attached to someone who's future is not as stable as other people, including u. *huge exhale* from the bottom of my heart, my bad lol. and then i probs wont ever get involved w. a s.o again, sorry to reference snk in 2020 but remember how e*win smith is single cuz he doesnt kno when he will ***? big mood. i have never acted out on my interests before but i was like ok for once lets go off the shits and do smth ooc, i uh... didnt expect for it to actually go anywhere tho so now im like ???? i shouldve thought it through more tho, like i felt low key irresponsible af and selfish and dumb for getting involved w. someone even tho i Know how I Am like...... Also i just lov being single and staying home and chilling alone lmao like i seriously...... never get loney....
ok so what was i talking abt? how the passage of time makes me nervous cuz idk how i can manage to keep up w it??? how i feel like i cant do jack shit???? that life is hard???? and maybe a bih just wants to rest? permanently?????? i think the most irritating part of all for me, like what i am most mad about at myself is that i have no dream. yikes. naruto, do u think thats sad? well yoongi said its okay, and what counts is just being happy, so i will console myself and forgive her and idk just try my best for the time being??
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kvltprince · 5 years
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I was tagged by the lovely @leporidaefluff (Thank you! it was the push i needed to get started on this instead of just going oh~ neat~!)
Rules:
1. Choose an OC.
2. Answer them as that OC.
3. Tag 5 people to do the same. Sorry if anyone has already been tagged, no obligation. @ heathie on whatever acct cos im a dumbass an i miss your bois(you miss em too), @randomwordsandstormydays, @randomfuzzbunny, @jornaquinn @chrysocolladawn ( @somewhere-withoutyou if you would...) and anyone else who would enjoy doing this. (if i get tagged again ill do anther oc. i would tag a few others but i feel weird tagging ppl i dont like ever talk to lol.)
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What is your name?
"Lucy Grandchester, yeah that one.” 
How old are you?
“Fourty-five unless you are getting nitpicky about cryostasis. That doesn’t count unless I am joking with a ghoul, honestly.”
What do you look like?
He lets out a small half chuckle, "Oh, we are doing this okay. I’ll bite. Slightly short middle aged punk, long greying curly hair, undercut, with one leg and too many tattoos?”
Where are you from? Where do you live now?
Lucy uncomfortably takes down his hair and redoes his messy bun while sighing and becoming a bit short. “I’m from just the other side of that irradiated water near that gas station south of here. Name kinda gives it away. You have seen it? I honestly am not sure how it’s standing still between the bombs and everything else. It’s looked after now, and is a surprise asset to still have. I lived in Boston for a while after all that, and back in this area once Nuka World was opened, then back in the Boston area, and would you look at that I am back in Nuka World and it is a lot more comfortable now.”
What was your childhood like?
"...Unstable, for everyone. It got a bit better once my parents were dead... are we done with this line of questions? Or am I excusing you?”
What groups are you friendly with? Are you allied with any factions?
“Well, I started out trying to play nicely vaguely with anyone that didn’t try to shoot me first. That.... hasn’t stayed how it is. At least not fully, though i generally play nice until I am given a reason not to. I am friendly with the Disciples, the Operators, several of the Children of Atom groups that haven't irradiated their sense out of their heads yet, the Railroad.”
Tell me about your best friend.
He finally visibly relaxes the rest of the way after that history business, and takes a drink of a quantum. “Oh only one best friend? Are we in high school again? aw Alright. We have some parallel histories.” He swirls the glowing drink, but doesn't let himself get lost in his head too far. “Great humor, puts up with my shit somehow, doesn't blow my sneaking. Laugh that could take on the world even though they probably wouldn't. No I am not spoiling who I decided on. A man has to have some secrets somewhere and mine are in short supply”
Do you have a family? Tell me about them!
“My son Shaun never ceases to surprise me with what he can come up with, and how well adjusted he is. Codsworth is still helping out with the household, and helping keep Shaun from disassembling live turrets while I am away, though now he is living here at Fizztop with us. Surprisingly it seems to be an alright setup, and Shaun has taught a few people some upgrades in their downtime. There is enough room to keep things comfortable, and I have done some park remodeling since I arrived. My closest companions that don’t hate my choices I have made I consider family, but that has become a smaller circle than before.”
What about a partner or partners?
“Gage of course, he is my husband for whatever it is worth in the wasteland. Otherwise I suppose that depends how you are defining that. I am an affectionate person and some people seem to have rather strict definitions of where the edge of friend and partner should be”
Who are your enemies, and why?
“Several people aren’t speaking to me very well at best after I have settled into the Overboss seat here, on a personal level. The Pack were wiped out. The Brotherhood were wiped out. The Institute were wiped out. The minutemen are pretty pissed understandably. The Gunners still show up in vertibirds sometimes and are still pretty fun target practice. My settlements are generally comfortable, and my outposts mostly only have problems with gunners or trappers. Minor annoyances.”
Have you ever heard of The Brotherhood of Steel? What do you think about them?
“Yeah, of course. I think they got too headstrong for their flightsuits. I mean I understand but you really can’t do that shit and expect no repercussions. It was quite a firework show honestly, I wonder how far away the heat was felt..”
What about The Enclave?
"I don’t know much about them, only one of their ex-soldiers, he didn’t exactly tell me much. Cute, a bit odd. Not sure if it is the radiation that did that or not.”
How do you feel about Super Mutants?
He has a flash of a pensive thought drift across his face “There’s a few that aren’t so bad. Obviously the FEV isn’t mass-curable though, so not exactly much of a choice what to do about them unless you like getting a rocket launcher or a nuke in your face.”
What’s the craziest fight you’ve ever been in?
“Proobably~ around Bunker Hill, It was just, A Lot. That whole time was not just the specific fight. I don’t remember a lot of it, I’m pretty sure Gage half dragged me home after the main running around and meetings after the fight. I don’t think I had a full thought for a while.”
Have you ever fought a Deathclaw?
He thumb points to a sniper rifle leaning against the wall “Yeah, too often, thankfully usually I see them first, and I’ve gotten the sneaking thing down. They make pretty good steaks.”
Do you like fighting?
“Sometimes, honestly. Something tired and overstated about old habits or something boring. Really though, it is exciting and keeps the boredom away. Playfighting and sparring will do, no need to draw blood. I guess. Good to keep knife and sneaking skills sharp however you can.”
What’s your weapon of choice?
“A modded real sharp Throatslicer she called it, I swear Nisha found this thing in the loading dock or something it is the nicest box-cutter I have ever owned. Opens up anything.”
How do you survive? Your wits, your charm, your skills, brute force, some combination? (a.k.a. what’s your S.P.E.C.I.A.L?)
“Outlive everything around me usually by not being seen, notice it first, shoot it faster, stab it more, talk my way out of it, or by luck. I have zero real idea, but I can eat nearly anything and I bet that helps too.”
Have you ever been in a vault? What do you think about them?
"Of course, there are a bunch, and I was ushered into 111 to turn my life upside down. They seem to only be any good for salvage, horror stories, clean water sometimes, and if you are real lucky a trade post and a shave. I have a settlement vault that is doing well that I have taken over and built up, but that is not Vault-Tec related, obviously.”
How do you beat all the radiation around here? Has it affected you?
“I have a few recipes that are good for radiation, though it doesn't affect me very badly overall and I am slow to feel any sickness. I suspect that one day I will turn into a ghoul.” He is rather matter of fact and unbothered by this, and hints that he knows that not getting sick much from radiation means just that.
What’s your favorite wasteland critter?
“Probably the stags and gazelles and other herd animals. They are overall unchanged other than most have two heads now, they are still nice to watch”
What’s your least favorite wasteland critter?
“Honestly? radscorpions? Those fuckers are too quick and you cant shoot them cos they tunnel and they knock you on your ass and poison you and just UGH”
How do you feel about robots?
"Robots are alright if they are not causing trouble. Some of them are nice. Jezebel is not so nice, but she is guarding red rocket and bitching the entire time so shes no longer my problem. The Rust Devil’s robots are a pain in my ass for real.”
How many caps do you have on you right now?
"Plenty.”
Nuka Cola or Sunset Sarsaparilla?
He cocks his head slightly “I havent heard that one in a while. Depends on the flavor of Nuka Cola, I do like Sunset Sarsaparilla though, if you have any.”
Do you do chems?
"Not recreationally anymore. No, not because of him.” He nods toward Gage “It just, gets out of hand”
Do you ever think about the Pre-War world?
"Not as often as you would expect, I mean obviously there is the ‘oh i remember when that wasn't destroyed’ of things, but things are more comfortable than I thought they could be”
What’s your deepest regret? What would you do differently?
His eyes narrow slightly “I don’t really do regret. Things were done the way they were because it was the choice at the time. A choice now for an old situation isn’t helpful to living my current life or my old life. I am not living then, I am living now.” 
What’s your biggest achievement? Or what do you hope to achieve?
“Surviving all of this, and myself. Creating this strange semi-stability in this post apocalyptic place.”
What do you want for the future? For yourself? Your friends? The world?
“Keep me and mine safe, happy as we can be, and I hope that my found-family never fully stops growing. Curious what the future holds for my raiders and friends, there is so much potential, it could be risky but it is there. For once it is a good solid place to be, and it’s mine.” Lucy polishes off his questionable as hell drink with a smile.
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