#and it shouldn't matter!! what people think shouldn't matter and this is probably shallow as hell but fuck

[buckleyseddie]

also the other way around tbh

#it's not the first time it's happened but man did it still ruined my fucking day #i told myself to brush it off and yet it's the middle of the night and i should be sleeping and instead i'm [redacted] about it #listen i don't need everyone to compliment my hair (in fact only one person has since i cut it) but outright saying that straight hair look #better on me like. to my face. and completely unprompted it's just. it's mean #i've always been very insecure about my curls which rationally doesn't make sense because i love curls just not mine #and i decided to do something different with my hair and well. that's the response i got #and it shouldn't matter!! what people think shouldn't matter and this is probably shallow as hell but fuck #it's done wonders for my insecurities I'll tell you that #anyway yeah i'm dealing with this by making a meme in true tumblr fashion #seriously if you've ever said anything like this or the other way around know that the person you said it to probably #didn't take it as a compliment #anyway (again) i'm gonna try to sleep i'm sorry about this goodnight #monse talks

[theheirofthesharingan]

imagine if itachi didn't die and he got a chance to live could he be redeemed for his actions? he'd helped them in the war, how do you think Konoha would react to him after knowing he undid edo tensei?

The unqualified truth is that Itachi's actions were irredeemable from the start. He could spend his entire lifetime taking care of Sasuke and helping him heal from the damage he'd caused him, but even then there was no redemption for the killings he'd done. As an Akatsuki too the list of his crimes would be too long. And he knew all of it.

The reason he inspires sympathy in readers' hearts is that he wasn't deluded about his actions and the gravity of their consequences. He never thought 'oh, i'm a victim. can i ever be happy?' He took full responsibility of his actions rather than victimizing himself and even went to extremes to ensure he was punished rightfully by the person he had wronged the most - Sasuke.

When he met Sasuke in the woods after his death his first instinct wasn't to chastise Sasuke for becoming a "criminal". He knew it was his own doing and Sasuke shouldn't be blamed for that. He didn't go 'I did it because I had no other options' etc.

Furthermore, I have very mixed feelings about Itachi living or surviving his battle against Sasuke. For his own sake, I don't want him to live. The way he'd been damaged since his childhood and found peace only with his death, living would only mean extended sufferings and torment.

For Sasuke's sake, however, I want him to live. Sasuke loved many people - Naruto, his own parents, but he never loved anyone like he loved Itachi. Worse still - Itachi destroyed his life. Sasuke would only need Itachi to find some sort of comfort and closures, and if not he'd much rather die by his side.

Forgiveness, redemption etc., are shallow words in context of Itachi's life and his death. Not only there was none for what he'd done, it would never be enough for his own healing whether he lived or not. What could redemption or being forgiven really achieve after being pushed into hell by the grown ups around him?

He knew very well his actions were unforgivable and that's what he told Sasuke too. Sasuke forgiving him is a reflection of Sasuke's character rather than Itachi's.

Coming to the second part of the question -

Konoha didn't care about Itachi, or Sasuke for that matter. Once Edo Tensei was undone, war went onto becoming more and more grave until Kaguya was defeated. The prejudices against the clan would affect Itachi just as much as it did in the past, when the only one witness of the clan's tragedy would be him. Homura and Koharu might or might not open their mouths "for the sake of the village" that too after the war when keeping up their good image of Konoha was so important to all of them.

Itachi, along with Sasuke, would probably move into a little cabin where he wasn't disturbed by the responsibilities and burdens of being a Shinobi anymore. Team Taka might accompany them. Plus, whether his name is cleared or not would always be Itachi's call. And he wouldn't want his name to be cleared either since it might make the matters more complicated for the world on the whole.

And that would still be much better than Kakashi and Naruto deciding to follow Itachi's words verbatim of keeping the truth a secret, because it won't be affecting Sasuke all that much. Itachi's truth coming out, again, was more important for Sasuke than it was for him, in my opinion. But when Sasuke could be with Itachi, he would gradually come to understand his brother's pov on this matter, because for sasuke being with Itachi is always going to be more important than anything.

#i hope this answer makes sense #i'm tired and sleepy so i might have rambled too much #sorry for taking so long to answer but my thoughts were a mess #anon #ask #itachi #itachi uchiha #uchiha itachi #uchiha brothers #sasuke #sasuke uchiha #uchiha sasuke

[autistichalsin]

I feel comfortable with Halsin because he doesn't lash out or say any dialogue that makes me feel terribly guilty for saying no or sending him back to camp. I know there are other companions who aren't as harsh, but I like him best because he's chill and understanding. I feel comfortable and safe interacting with Halsin.

I wasn't r-word-ed in real life; I was just mildly harassed, per my old boss, when I reported a coworker who was groping me and saying very inappropriate things (the same coworker threatened me later on that he would do something worse if I continued reporting him). I didn't experience the same level of hardship Halsin endured with the drows, yet I relate to the way he casually downplayed what happened to him.

Halsin didn't consider himself much of a victim because he blamed himself for his 'foolishness in his youth'. I didn't consider myself a victim because, per my old boss, I'm not a real victim because I was not assaulted; I was just 'mildly harassed'.

My old boss said it was all my fault for not saying 'no' enough (how does one say no in a firmer way? I declined my coworker's advances, and I said 'no' a lot of times and called him out for what he was doing, but the man ignored my 'no'.) My old boss said it's probably because of the clothes I wore too (I was wearing a simple shirt and jeans when it happened). My old boss said I was actually lucky; that's the only thing that happened to me.

Isn't the true 'lucky' moment never having to experience any unwanted advances/touches/attention, or threats from another person? When is a person considered to be a true victim? Is it when skin breaks, bruises form, and blood sheds? What level of harassment has ever been acceptable to be considered one?

Perhaps I'm delirious, but sometimes I comfort myself that Halsin would understand me unlike other people I've met later on in life, and that he wouldn't invalidate or judge what happened to me, no matter how 'shallow/minor/unimportant/insignificant' it seemed for others.. or compared to what happened to him.

I agree. The others constantly guilting me for it gets really weird, even if I know it's not meant as such. Like, it's not a "big deal", not like me going OMG YOU GUYS THE OTHER COMPANIONS ARE MANIPULATING YOU, but it definitely makes me, like, sigh after talking.

You didn't deserve to be harassed, and you don't have to disclaim it. It's not for me to say how you define your trauma, but I would like to VERY gently point out that if there was physical contact, it has left the realm of harassment, and become assault. You were assaulted in your place of work. Your boss was completely wrong about what happened to you, and downgrading your trauma was utterly unacceptable by your boss- likely as a PR move of sorts.

It makes absolute sense that you would find comfort in Halsin, who always has a kind word for others, but when it came to his trauma, received so little- from himself or from others, and who blamed himself in ways he would never do to others. I'll tell you the same thing Halsin the character would say- you never deserved it. You shouldn't have had to say no at all, because the absence of "no" isn't a yes; only a yes is a yes. But in your case, your no was never even respected to begin with, so of course your boss starts blaming any other things. If clothes had anything to do with making assault happen, people wouldn't get assaulted when wearing frumpy pajamas. Your boss is a piece of shit, put bluntly.

I feel you about luck. It's the classic question- who's luckier, someone who survives being struck by lightning, or someone who never gets struck at all? It is hard to define what makes someone a "true" victim, there is no one true criteria- but I also feel that if you have to ask, it is almost always going to be true that you were one. Kind of like how saying "I don't know" or "sort of" to an "are you okay?" is the same as "I'm not okay." Defining what makes a victim against other victims is dangerous, I think (not directed at you, but rather at large): we could downplay damn near every terrible experience in the world that way if we wanted to. You lost someone? At least their death wasn't a gruesome murder. It WAS a grisly murder? At least it wasn't a slow, protracted death from brain cancer. There is no objectively worst in the world- it's turtles all the way down. So using "at least it wasn't worse" is a really dangerous hole to fall in. If it was so bad that your main argument against it being bad is that others have had it worse, I am here to tell you that it was bad enough.

You aren't delusional. Comforting yourself with a fictional character who said the things you needed in real life is perfectly understandable, and part of what fiction is there for. I'm sorry everyone in real life has failed you so badly, that you have to rely on him to validate your feelings and traumas instead of someone who can listen and hug you like you deserve. But his character is there for you, and so am I, and so are all the other people on my blog who have had the same experience. You aren't the first to find healing from Halsin like this, and you won't be the last, either. If anything, I think a LOT- not all, maybe not most, but MANY- of us are drawn to Halsin in particular because the experience of always being there to help others with their pain, but letting our own sit inside us, begging to be acknowledged but rarely being so, is so viscerally, painfully relatable.

Your trauma wasn't unimportant. It is just as important, and has just as much of a right to be seen, as anyone else's.

#halsin #halsin silverbough #bg3 #baldur's gate 3

[kitkatopinions]

Thinking about Yang being like "She could've talked to us" after Yang was the one who told Ruby not to think like Ironwood when Ruby expressed doubt and frustration. Like no I'm not saying Yang's intentions were bad, I think Yang was trying to comfort Ruby, but that coupled with how little effort Yang has put into Ruby and how distracted she's been with Blake and how Yang hasn't been taking the situation they're in seriously...

It's like, yeah Ruby probably really didn't feel like she could talk about regrets, doubts, or struggles when Yang's good vibes only mentality resulted in her basically saying only a bad guy who wants to bomb people would actually feel bad about losing two world-ending relics to Salem instead of convincing themselves they did something they didn't do (save everyone, keep everyone safe.) And Yang really wasn't acting like she cared about what happened, or even really cared about getting back home, or any of that. Yang has spent this whole time treating everything like a fun romp.

So what could Ruby - or us as an audience - think that Yang would say if Ruby had opened up? Would Yang give some generic cheap speech about how Ruby shouldn't doubt herself because she's a good person? Would Yang scold her that they'd done good actually and act like she was unjustified the way she did when Ren talked about his concerns? And remember, this is after Yang kinda blamed Ruby for stuff going wrong with Ironwood too (like Yang and Blake going behind his back to Robyn and seemingly not telling anyone didn't contribute to that falling out more than the lie Ruby had already come clean about did,) and that wasn't really addressed iirc because Yang randomly decided she was in a fight with Blake instead. So how is Ruby supposed to accept an 'we're all fine, turn that frown upside down, you're a good person and that's what matters' mentality after Yang already kinda blamed her for things going wrong like three or four days ago?

It's not Ruby's fault that she couldn't talk to the rest of her team about what happened, not just because they expect her to be perfect but because their toxic positivity outlook is shallow and unhelpful, and Ruby doubting herself got her compared to a villain that nobody gave a damn about. I was a little maddening to see Yang blame Ruby for not talking about her problems when the second Ruby started expressing doubt and frustration, Yang shot her down and essentially said 'don't feel like that, that's for villains.'

#rwde #anti-rwby #anti-yang-xiao-long

[mbti-notes]

Anon wrote: Hi, I’m an INFP dating an ISTP in a long-distance relationship. We’re both 21 and have been dating for about 3 years. But I have a problem with our relationship that I don’t know how to fix. We’re really attached to each other and spend as much time as possible together, although I am definitely the clingier one most of the time (he has his moments too).

I find myself getting really defensive and on guard whenever he acts more “neutral” to me or makes “logical” observations… I know it’s stupid, but I start taking everything offensively when he’s not overtly affectionate or lovey-dovey with me, which I know rationally isn’t proper, but in the moment I can’t help but get emotional over nothing, and I kind of feel myself being destructive but struggle to resolve it anyways. I’m surprised he tolerates me, I’m sure it’s incredibly annoying, and sometimes even his reassurance isn’t enough for me because it feels shallow or like he’s just saying what I want to say since he usually isn’t very elaborate about his feelings or moods.

I guess it kind of scares me that I can’t read him, even though he’ll say there’s nothing to read… I can’t help but assume he’s against me or doesn’t like me or something in the moment if he’s not flirty or affectionate, when he’s probably just being his normal self. I also get stupidly jealous when he hangs out with his friends, although he usually tells me he misses me when we can’t spend time together or talk and that he’d rather be with me.

I think it’s because compared to him I lack a social life… most of my friends aren’t close to me anymore and don’t really care about me in my opinion, so I rarely see them. All I do is go to college, and I don’t have any real friends there either, and I still live with my parents who can be toxic and overbearing. So I really only have him, and it’s just hard. But I don’t like the direction my mentality is going, and I don’t want to get worse, so I guess I’m asking for some advice or steps I can take to improve myself and feel more secure in my relationship.

----------------------

The more dependent you are on something, the more you will fear losing it, which often leads to desperate or overbearing behavior. As a general rule, you shouldn't depend on only one person to fulfill all of your emotional needs. By doing this, you turn love into a burden for your romantic partner. While they may be willing to shoulder the burden, it isn't fair to them, and it sucks all the fun out of the relationship. How can dominant Fi be healthy and feel at peace when you're behaving in a way that is exploitative?

You've already pointed out a major aspect of the problem: you don't have any other social and emotional supports in your life. If you're in college, it means you're an adult, but you aren't properly nurturing adult independence. Independence doesn't mean you have to do everything alone, rather, it means you have to take the initiative to get the things you need and want in life. Independent people take matters into their own hands and don't waste time with waiting around, self-pity, or wishful thinking.

For example, you could put more effort into building yourself a social support network as well as engaging in activities outside of your romantic relationship. Many introverts struggle with this. You don't have to be the life of the party or a social butterfly to build a social support network. A small handful of carefully chosen friends should suffice. Join clubs or group activities. Observe some good friend candidates and take the initiative to strike up a relationship with them. If it works out, great. If it doesn't work out as expected, oh well, simply move on to the next person.

Remember that once you leave school and enter the workforce, it becomes much more difficult to make new friends. College is an ideal time to make friends because there's much more opportunity to meet like-minded people. Knowing more people in college can open more doors for you personally and professionally. Don't waste the opportunities right in front of you. This will require you to develop auxiliary Ne and entertain a wider range of possibility in your life (see the Type Development Guide). Ne development is also necessary for changing repetitive patterns of behavior, through choosing new and different paths for opening yourself up to the world.

#infp #infp relationships #auxiliary ne #si loop #social skills #socializing #social support network #independence #ask

[quirkwizard]

Do you think that people could be pressured into hero work? Not like what the Hero Commission does with kids, but more someone being born with an overpowered quirk like Black Hole and being told by everyone around them that they should be a hero? They don't want to be a hero, but feel compelled to because everyone is pressuring them to be one?

Do you think people are pressured into becoming pro heroes? Let’s say someone had the ability to make their drawing come to life (I know this probably isn’t possible. I just needed an example of a strong quirk) They have absolutely no desire to be a hero and want to be a librarian. Would society pressure their person to be a hero due to their heroic quirk?

I'm half and half on the idea. On the one hand, I do think it could happen given the culture around Quirks and heroes. It would be an interesting angle to come at an idea of hero work and how Quirks can affect people's lives and views of themselves. If you have a great power, shouldn't you be at least trying to save people? Would it be wrong to just do nothing? Wouldn't that be wasteful of the gift you were given? Do you want to be a hero or is that what everyone else wants for you? It's an idea with a lot of potential on how you could handle it. On the other hand, being a hero is something you really have to want. Even if it's for shallow motivations, your heart needs to be in hero work. Because hero work requires a lot of effort and a willingness to put your life on the line. If you don't want to do it, you aren't going to be an affective hero and that matters a lot when people's lives are on the line. Not unless they have some massive guilt complex over it to push them forward.

#My Hero Academia #Quirks #MHA Meta #MHA Theory

[seyaryminamoto]

Hello, Azula finally got announced her own comic what are your thoughts and how excited are you?

Oof, well. I'm gonna be honest, I am way more hyped than is probably healthy x'D and at the same time I'm dreading it greatly! Totally reasonable place to be in!

The absolute pro to this situation is Peter Wartman's art. Just the cover is enough to make my heart hurt because our girl looks good *sobs* that there's no crazy eyes in the cover, AT LEAST, is a good thing. I can only hope Wartman and Hicks won't fall into Gurihiru's irksome pitfall of "let's give her crazy eyes because that's such a fun way to make people lose their shit at Azula!", I mean, it's possible that they will, but I'm hoping it won't happen anyway. The art quality so far, however, is very likely to be good and that makes me a little happy.

Hicks, however, has expressed by now that this is a "dark story". I... don't think I like the sound of that. I realize, as does anyone, that we wouldn't be getting a happy-go-lucky story featuring Azula anytime soon... but if this is something she's already calling a dark story, all hopes of it being a potential, positive, helpful development that points towards a better outcome in Azula's future are kind of falling to shambles already for me.

This being said...

I want an Azula redemption. Most Azula fans want one too. A lot of people would feel great if this happened. If it doesn't, a lot of other people will be thrilled. Some think she shouldn't be redeemed, whether because she "doesn't deserve it" (and I roll my eyes very hard at this concept), or because she's "cooler if she's a bad guy" (... very shallow imo but whatever).

Ultimately, though... I just want dignity. I just want Azula to be written respectfully, in a way that doesn't disparage or humiliate her character any further than what she already has been through, both in the show and the existing comics. If they're going to redeem her, I ask that it isn't done with her groveling at Zuko's feet and begging for forgiveness while becoming something akin to HIBY's Azula. If they're NOT going to redeem her, then I ask that she remains an antagonist with actual motivations, goals, purpose, that her choices make sense for what she's doing, that we as readers can see the logic behind what she's doing and still feel the brilliance of the teenager we met in ATLA rather than the batshit Saturday morning cartoon villain nonsense from Smoke and Shadow.

If this comic fails to deliver this, regardless of whether it points towards redemption or not, then I frankly don't care about whatever they may do in it. As it is, canon has become a reservoir of opportunities for me to explore in fanfiction: if something in canon doesn't feel right for me, if it doesn't interest me, I ignore it, it's going to be its own thing and I'll have nothing more to do with it. While I'll be delighted if Azula gets to be depicted in an adventure of her own that handles her correctly, and I will certainly be cross if she's warped into whatever twisted nonsense a comic writer requires her to be at any given point in time... ultimately, nothing that happens in future comics is likely to change my understanding of the show, the characters, the franchise as a whole, or of the potential storylines that can and should be explored in post-canon content. As it is, my heart is 100% latched onto a certain ridiculously huge AU and it's going to stay there for the foreseeable future: while a disappointing comic would defintely make me see red, the truth is that whatever canon does has no lasting impact on whatever I will do with these characters and my stories in the future, and that's what matters most to me.

#anon #azula comic #I still cling to the cover a little too hard #wartman's style genuinely hits differently from Gurihiru's #it just feels... more mature in a way? #Gurihiru just felt so childish at times and I actually mostly liked their art #but Wartman's done some surprisingly good stuff #and I can only hope he'll depict our girl properly TT_TT #just be kind to her #as kind as can be #whether she's a hero a villain or in between #dignity is all I ask #*cries in a corner*

[intersex-questions]

shallow vagina anon: thank you so much for your advice, i hadn't thought of averaging out measurements. im autistic so i rlly appreciate clear actionable advice lol. i just wanted to like. explain? vent? about my situation? sorry for tmi about my genitals?

i went to my doctor today (who is actively pro-trans which is nice) and talked to him about it. he suggested i try dilators which i might but he also recommended that i go to a gyno to have them check it out, which ill have an appt for in two weeks. i've been trying to figure this out for a few days because i just recently was like "this probably is very abnormal" and i didn't want to like, jump to any random conclusions. & everywhere says feeling "too tight" is a common problem so i'm like cool! except none of the common answers seem to fit whats going on with me!

its not an issue of natural dryness, and i also have used lube anyways. its not an issue of relaxation, which i dont have trouble with. its not an issue of preparation/foreplay. its not an issue of fear. i don't even completely avoid penetration; tampons were uncomfortable but i only used one twice because the threat of toxic shock made me stressed. any kind of penetration gets uncomfortable (w/ enough lube a finger is fine, two if im turned on, but even after a certain point it starts hurting & generally leaves a slight pain/ache afterwards) and an average penis leaves noticeable pain for a while afterwards. there aren't any muscle spasms. Everything seems as wet and squishy and elastic as you'd expect. i've been on T for a year but i've been like this since i started messing around w/ my cunt and always felt confused why people enjoyed penetration so much; its only recently i was stubborn enough to ignore the pain just to go for it cause i figured it was probably more or less normal for it to hurt. the only way i can describe it is really that i just feel like its too tight, not so much that nothing can get it but enough that it feels like they shouldn't be getting in yk? but again i just figured, penetration is what this organ is made for, so this is probably normal. even though i've heard so many times that sex shouldn't hurt, once i found out how to get any pleasure from it i was like "oh so the pain probably doesn't matter if it can also feel good."

so i just. don't know what to think i guess. i really don't want to waste time and energy if its something common but it just doesn't seem like anything that is common describes what i've experienced? i got my period regularly pre-T & didn't have any signs of virilization, but all the more uncommon explanations for this say that it generally comes alongside not ever menstruating, so i just. feel very lost right now and confused about what the fuck is up with me. i feel really torn between "its probably something normal and you're probably reading way too deep into this" and "this really seems like its something abnormal and i am right to be getting this checked out." thank you for advice + reading this, i hope you have a good day

Oh if you're on testosterone it's almost definitely vagina atrophy. Warning that this refers to it as something that happens to women/females. It sounds scary but it's not. I experience it as well, before T (due to hyperandrogenism) and worse after starting T for HRT.

Higher levels of testosterone can cause vagina atrophy, in people born with hyperandrogenism and people who go on testosterone HRT. It's super common but not well-known about.

Locally applied estrogen cream or the Nuvaring/generic alternatives (or other birth control with estrogen put inside the vagina) can help reduce vaginal atrophy help with it. Talk to your doctor about it.

Vaginal atrophy is normal for those on T HRT and not uncommon but less normal for those not on it.

#asks #questions #vaginal atrophy #testosterone hrt

[methysos]

Hi love,

Doesn't it hurt when the one person who should understand you doesn't? Doesn't it hurt when you've used all of your lifelines and you're the one drowning? Doesn't it hurt to look at your planned suicide letters every night before you sleep? I do not feel bad for you little me, I feel bad for the wreck you've become. You used to mount stories and create them with a swoosh of your will; now you chose mediocrity. You were destined to be somebody, you didn't follow the status quo and therefore I admire your foolishness. I'm sorry that you have felt inadequate every step along the way and I'm sorry you couldn't be a brat sometimes. You've earned it though, right? You've been there for people through their utmost sorrow and their rock bottoms, didn't matter if you were falling because you fell slower so you could accompany them instead. Isn't it justified that you feel sick to your stomach when you've led everyone towards a light they needed to find yet absorbed their darkness in and out? Aren't you allowed to have your moments when you silently, lovingly held people's hands through their fits, childishness, arrogance, nerve, their unyielding desire to just be a shit person and when they just screamed at you. Weren't you there when they never gave a shit and went their own ways after countless hours of crying and begging, pleading them to just not do what's hurting them and they hurt you instead? Weren't you the scapegoat of many situations you shouldn't have been responsible of? Weren't you threatened every second along the way with empty promises or full proposals of how people would hurt you? Yet, you stood your ground. It's alright that you're having your own episode, if they don't stick with you through it they lead double lives and they're ungrateful. You always spent yourself away for years when all you got was a piece of thanks but still you cherished the shit out of that. You were a rock for people all along but it's time for you to place your own rock into somewhere isolated. How brave of people to be so harsh on you for that, how dare they with that level of selfishness. Look at your past, since all the love you gave was taken granted you deserve to take things for granted a bit as well. Look at your past deeper to find how many times you've tried to save someone and to be there for someone when you were pushed to the exact other edge of the universe so that you can find the courage to say no sometimes. Look at all the agony and the anxiety of being late when you sometimes deserve to show up more than late, if you decide to show up that is. Know that people should look at their past with you before slicing you left and right with cut-throat replies and snarky remarks about you being just a name. There were times they did worse, love. There were times where it took you all your strength to not say "What about me?", it's okay now to say it. If these milestones cannot see the beautiful mess you are clearly, transparently then they need to work on themselves first. It's okay for you to ask something in return: the kindness, the love, the empathy, the blood, the sweat and the tears you put into mending their broken hearts over and over until you realized yours crumbled all along and they were stepping on the trail. You didn't think of it as an attack, they shouldn't either. You are a wise fool, a charlatan of a shadow who used to be present. It's okay that you fade. It's okay that you are blurry. If you come to think of it, this is the climax of your movie, the make it or break it. Go forth and shatter all your anguish into art. Make them pay hell for it or worse with their conscience. They should probably check that. Thank you for not being shallow even though you've earned some of that too. I'm not going to be harsh on you too, people already pay themselves enough credit for that but they'll never admit that. I'm proud of the person you've engraved yourself into. What a beautiful mess you are, I wish you could see that.

Sincerely,

your heart.

#letter #letters #words #fragments #letter to myself #to everyone #forallthetimesyouapologizedwhenyoushouldnthave #love letter.txt

[akunekoblog]

Lato Bacca Initial Butler Story — Chapter One: Ugly But Clinging to Life

This is google translated!

One night

- Devil’s Palace Entrance -

Flure: Hey Lato~ where are you?

Muu: That’s Flure. Are you looking for Lato?

What’s wrong with Flure?

Flure: Lord. It’s already night, but I can’t see Lato.

Muu: Isn’t Mr. Lato here?

Flure: Yeah. I looked around the mansion, but he’s nowhere to be found.

Flure: He must have escaped from the mansion again when I took my eyes off him.

Muu: I see. Mr. Lato is a free-spirited person.

Flure: Haa... Lato is strong, so he doesn't have to worry about being attacked by people and animals.

Flure: But if a strong angel appears, even Lato might be in danger...

Muu: Hehe.

Flure: What are you laughing at, Muu?

Muu: Mr. Flure is cold to Mr. Lato. You tend to have an attitude.

Muu: Yet, you’re really worried about Mr. Lato.

Flure: Hmm... not really...

Flure: With this, even if Lato gets injured, he’s getting what he deserved.

Flure: As a butler on the same floor, I have the duty to monitor Lato.

Muu: Yeah, yeah. You're not honest.

Flure: Muu. Do you want to make me angry?

Let's go find Lato together.

Flure: No, I can't let the Lord do such a thing…

Creek

Lato: I'm home.

Flure: Lato!

Muu: Mr. Lato!

Lato: Oh? Lord, what are you doing in a place like this?

Choices

I was going to look for you.

I was worried about you.

Lato: Me? Why on earth?

Flure: Lato. You’ve escaped from the mansion without permission again.

Flure: You are…

Lato: Sorry, sorry. Don't be so angry, Flure.

Lato: Today, I went for a walk to the front of the northern land. Say, it's getting late.

Muu: The northern land famous for its extreme cold...?

Lato: I was in a good mood today... Before I knew it, I had walked that far.

Flure: I'm feeling good... yet it would be still dangerous to go such a far place.

Flure: What were you going to do if something happened?

Lato: I'm sorry for making you worry, Flure.

Lato: Hehe. But I'm happy as an older brother to know that Flure is worried about me.

Flure: That's why I've told you many times that I'm not your younger brother.

Muu: I feel that no matter what I say to Mr. Lato, it will not resonate with him.

That’s because he’s at his own pace.

Lato: Huh, Flure. Don't get angry anymore.

Lato: That's right. Can I fix your mood with this souvenir?

Flure: A souvenir?

Flure: What the hell!? Is that an animal!?

A white fox?

Lato: I found it on my way home from the forest.

Lato: It's probably the child of a white fox. It seems that it’s leg is broken.

Flure: No way... I feel sorry for it...

Muu: Did you bring it back to take care of it?

Lato: Yes? That can be true.

Lato: I thought we could use it for tonight's ingredients, so I brought it back.

Muu: What!? Are you going to eat it?

Lato: ...Well, I won’t eat it. I'm not interested in meat.

Lato: But Flure likes soft meat. Right?

Flure: That's... It's a poor thing no matter what.

Lato: Poor thing...? Why on earth?

Lato: This baby fox will only die in agony and exhaustion even if it stays in nature.

Lato: Then, it's better for this child to be killed so that it doesn't suffer.

Lato: Rather, I think I'm doing a good thing.

Flure: But…

Lato: Hmm. It is incomprehensible to me.

Lato: We eat cows and pigs, so why is this fox so pitiful?

Lato: This child is also an animal made of the same meat.

Flure: Lato, you shouldn't say such things in front of your master.

Lato: …I don't know.

Lato: Please take a good look at Flure as well. The state of this child...

Lato: It probably hasn’t eaten or drank anything in a long time and it’s breathing is shallow.

Lato: Look, it can already move on it’s own...

White Fox: Krk!

Guh..!

Lato: That's...

Flure: Lato…!

Muu: The fox bit Mr. Lato!

Choices

Are you okay?

Blood from his hand….

Lato: Lord, I'm fine. Don't worry.

Lato: Wow~. Even if you’re so weak, you’ll still try to live..?

Muu: Mr. Lato, are you angry...?

Flure: Lato…! Don't be upset...!

Lato: …

Lato: Kufufu. I’ve changed my mind.

Lato: I'll take care of this child.

Muu: What!?

Choices?

Why suddenly?

You’ll nurse it?

Lato: Apparently, this baby fox still wants to live.

Lato: He stood up to me even though he couldn't win with such a small body.

Lato: I struggled to survive.

Lato: I was interested in that ugly yet beautiful way of life you know.

Lato: That's why I’ve decided to make use of it. Respect the child's wishes...

Muu: What are you talking about?

Flure: Haa……. Also, something I don't understand...

Lato: Kufufu. When this little fox gets well...

Lato: I'm looking forward to seeing what kind of attack he will make on me this time.

Muu: Don't say scary things Lato!

Lato: Now… I’ll take you to Mr. Lucas first. Shall we go?

Tap… tap… tap…

Flure: Ah, wait a minute! Lato!

Muu: Talking with Mr. Lato sometimes scares me.

I can’t predict what he’ll do…

chapter end

[a-quiet-borderline-diary]

I have grown tired of the same old song and dance

People always act so hurt when they find out that I just view them as an audience...

But why would I view them as anything more when they just view me as a source of entertainment.

I give them something to look at, to gossip about.

I have these feelings in me of resentment when people are attracted to my image, even though I am responsible for creating my image myself.

I resent them for never bothering to look deeper.

They like my style, they like my body, they like how exciting I can be.

They like to psychoanalyze me, they study me.

They talk about me as if I am a medical subject to them even though they only took one psychology class in college.

I'm just so interesting, a character. They want to know what I'm doing. They want to see what I look like. Constantly changing. Hair dye, plastic surgery, rapid weight loss and weight gain.

I'm truly a spectacle to many people, I'm sure.

They act so offended that I view them all as nothing but spectators

I am not thankful for your interest

I am not flattered that you find me exciting, I'm acting manic and I only socialize when I'm binge drinking

You think I'm pretty? I want to customize myself like a video game character. I don't care if you like it, it's my character anyway so all that matters is that I look how I want to look

I am not impressed by praise to my outward appearance, despite how it may seem that I dress for attention.

Sometimes I think I am subconsciously setting a trap. I am always generating a self fulfilling prophecy in which I purposefully doll myself up to stand out, only to anger myself when people only approach me when I look visually appealing.

Over time, I have become more private. I don't post my thoughts publicly as much anymore. I don't tell many people any information about what is going on in my life anymore. (this is an anonymous diary so this does not count 🤪)

When I used to post about that stuff on Facebook, I think it made a lot of people feel like they knew me.

They really didn't. I'm not going to give that to people around me anymore.

They thought they were my friends, but they were just an audience to someone they don't even really know.

But is it really my fault if people take shallow slivers of information about me and convince themselves that they actually know me just from that?

No one was hitting me up

No one invited me unless it was a fucking party. Where I can be a spectacle once again.

No invites one on one.

No small get-togethers.

No deep conversations.

Me oversharing when I binge drink doesn't replace laying in bed and talking about our dreams until 4am.

None of them were fucking friends and they deserve to be reduced to numbers.

Well I don't even want them as numbers anymore.

I don't want empty validation. I don't want to be "known" by people I don't even care about anymore.

I am putting locks up. I'm setting passwords. You have to win my trust and my attention, or I won't give it to you at all.

I am probably regarded as self-absorbed. The "audience" may cry out about how I shouldn't isolate myself from them...

Or what? You'll have to find someone else to be your case study?

People who want to get along with as many people as possible are worse than people who are ornery and asocial.

I despise people who value networking and popularity over finding a few people in this world who are actually deeply special to them.

A bunch of shallow connections are worthless to me.

I know I have to play nice in some settings, and just be a little friendly. Just be polite. But it drains me to pretend. It drains me so much

I find more comfort being alone or with my partner. Being with him has the comfort of being alone without feeling lonely.

If I were to die and only a few people knew me well enough to mourn me, I would be ok with that. I do not care if I leave anything behind. I have no children, no legacy.

I just want to exist, enjoy myself, and find a few people that bring me comfort and joy.

I do not feel much shame for how much I prioritize the self.

Men do it all the time. They follow their dreams. They don't have to be dragged down by parenting, that can be left to the mother. They are encouraged to realize their potential, look within, understand themselves and know what they want in life. It's OK for men to care more about making money than being parents and serving others.

Maybe I should have been born a man. But to be honest, my mother raised me equally to my brothers. I don't think she intended to influence me to reject motherhood, but I know deep down she always wished she could have focused on her education and hobbies.

She did everything. All my dad had to do was go to work and come home and watch TV. Although she did love him, she seems to have found freedom in having her children grow into adults. When my dad died, she finally started focusing on her hobbies and her goals. That is what she always wanted.

I do not feel like I am more selfish for refusing to have children and go straight to self growth as if I am a man. I think she wishes she had the option to, but I was born. I wasn't even unplanned.

I think she just always thought that is what her life's purpose was supposed to be as a woman. She had to be a mother.

I get enough mother feelings just from having some lazy, low-maintenance pets. I do not like children. I hate their screams, and I hate what they would represent if I had any. I know that deep down, I would feel like a child is an obligation that would take my freedom away. To be a parent, specifically a mother, you can no longer prioritize the self. You must prioritize the children, the family.

But men can still develop as an individual. I resent them for that fact. And my mother did too.

I am fortunate that my spouse does not force me into a box or place gendered expectations in me. I do not think of him as a "man", though I still use male pronouns most of the time. I am the same way, I use female pronouns but I consider myself a rebellion to what it means to be a "woman" in many ways.

Although my appearance is feminine, I strongly reject feminine roles. I hate cooking, I dislike children, I struggle with chores and organization.

I enjoy studying, I enjoy work that intrigues me. I fight anyone who tells me to tone myself down. I would never submit to a partner that told me what to wear or how to act. How to talk. I would quickly resent anyone who openly criticized me for traits that I value in myself.

My mother used to tell me I should sit funny, or I look mentally ill. Well, I am fucking mentally ill. So I never stopped. (I do kind of regret my bad posture as I have gotten older due to the back pain though lol)

My mother raised me with such a contradictory theme. She raised me to be my authentic self and reject anyone who would bully me or try to dull my sparkle for it, but at the same time she would bully me herself as if she should be allowed to control me but no one else can.

I am very resistant to any personalities that resemble that about my mother. I always go fight or flight. I'm not completely avoidant, but sometimes I find that avoiding people like that is better than fighting because I will lash out and cause a scene when I feel someone is mirroring the treatment I received from my mother growing up. When I feel that someone has crossed a line, all bets are off and I can become cuttingly cruel. Merciless even.

I can get myself into trouble with my tendency to be vindictive and mean, but I rarely ever show that side of myself for no reason. The problem is, no one has sympathy for you when you execute someone for stealing a loaf of bread if you know what I'm saying. Sigh

Anyway that's a wrap I guess for my bedtime rambles. I am getting sleepy.

#bpd #borderline personality disorder #actuallyborderline #borderline #diary

[gloriousmonsters]

unfollowed you by mistake lol. anyway. do you think song lan and xiao xingchen could have changed their philosophy/outlook on life to include any kind of "class consciousness" without encountering xue yang, and do you think that given the chance to live post xue yang encounter, that they would have regressed into a more conservative/prescriptive ideology as a reaction to their own trauma, or rather have eventually reflected on what produced a xue yang and how that understanding of injustice and trauma can improve their own approach to cultivation as a mean to better society? i am very tired and this is probably badly worded and shallower than i would like it to be lol

its possible that it can be both btw. a seemingly not class conscious ideology can still include principles of guidance which can look prescriptive to the outsider while actually implementing the kind of life long dialogue between teacher and student which is not essentially repressive nor excessively patronizing in nature, despite having a clear hierarchical nature and a heavy emphasis on individual responsibility

welcome back lol

and I... hm. Idk, there's a part of me that often kicks in with MDZS characters where I'm like 'this is for a certain value a Person but also very much a Tool of the Narrative' (possibly bc mxtx's works tend to be so laden with... moral problems, is the best way I can think of putting them, and I love it). So my kneejerk answer to the first question is that if they'd developed that class consciousness without meeting XY, it'd be kind of lame because then they couldn't have partaken in their part of the story. It's possible, of course, answering watsonianly (though I've never had the necessary drive to deep dive into any of the schools of thought/philosophies/etc that they come from, so IDK how exactly it might come about) because a lot of things are possible if you fiddle with the factors.

And I also find the question of 'if they'd lived' to be an interesting one bc for me... XXC's committing suicide is his answer to the challenge that XY presents at that point, and I feel like if he did somehow live his mind would be clouded a very, very long time not so much by problem-of-xue-yang-as-related-to-justice-and-revenge-murder, but the problem of xue yang as 'how did this person have two such utterly different faces, and which of them was real? is it possible to reconcile them?' I feel like it might stand a chance of him feeling pulled to understand XY and consider what role society played in his shaping when he's remembering his friend, and then overcorrecting with 'but none of that can matter THAT much, I shouldn't be thinking about that kind of thing' when the guilt and shame of 'this is a massacre killer who blinded my bff and may or may not depending on what timeline this takes place in engineered his death'.

IMO time, one of the big themes in MDZS is: people are very good at thinking they're ruled by principle when they're actually ruled by the buffeting winds of trauma, bias and emotion. All three of the villains show a strong awareness of different societal issues and how they can create, well, people like them, and point these things out, and the reaction of the good guys is usually... rejecting those arguments based on gut reactions, not objective reasoning (much like swathes of the fandom lololol). XXC rejects XY's reason for what he did based simply on it's just wrong, even if what you said is right you went too far so I can't focus on your reasons. So while I think there's a chance he could come around, I think it's slim. (It would probably involve a Lot of conversations with XY with crying and yelling and they'd both hate it).

SL is more of a cipher to me bc i like never write him and read him only slightly more but he's pretty much established as the more severe and judgemental of the two so....... all of the above but decrease the chance from .01 to .001 percent.

#feel like i didn't answer as thoroughly as the question deserved but this is as much as my arms are gonna let me type #gay necromancy: the show #natandacat #replies

[txemrn]

Hiya! I watched a YouTube video of these guys debating like either on a podcast or radio show about looks and if they truly do matter. Some of them were brutal. How does your Ethan feels about beauty? Is that maybe a small reason he didn't want to have kids? My mind is spinning!!

Hey, anon!

Thank you so much for reaching out and sharing this with me! I apologize for the delay in my response!

That podcast sounds awful! 😥

I'm actually watching a show on Netflix called "Love is Blind", hosted by Nick and Vanessa Lachey. It's pure trash TV (lol) where people "date" without seeing each other (inside these pods), and then after about 2 weeks if they find someone they "love", they get engaged. Then they meet, move into together, and get married 4 weeks later. Now, lemme tell you: some of these guys are brutal, trying to convince their fiancées that even though they are physically attracted to another woman, they are emotionally attracted to them so they shouldn't feel threatened.

Get this (and spoiler alert): this one guy called his fiancée a "solid 9", but this other girl (who he "dated" in their pods) is more of his type, 10 out of 10...

Yep, that's exactly what a woman wants to hear. 🤬

But he "assures" her by telling her that he doesn't have that emotional connection with the other girl...

WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FUUUUUU...?!?!!? 🤬🤬🤬

However, I personally believe there has to be an element of attraction in a relationship. Is it initial? Not always. There are some people that meet and develop the attraction later. It just depends...

BUT WE KNOW... it SHOULD NOT BE the most important thing in a relationship. Beauty fades. Youth fades. What matters is keeping a healthy connection alive.

Ethan is very attracted to Tatum. There is an element to her actual appearance that turns him on... and her appearance is supposed to turn him on! But there was also something about Casey's appearance that turned him on. And Harper's appearance that turned him on. Three different women... I think that kinda solidifies that even though he is attracted to the outside, there was something far greater inside he was craving.

One thing I HC with these two is that their second time around, they look a little different. Ethan has bulked up since med school, gaining about 40 pounds. He shows early signs of aging with smile lines and wrinkles around his eyes, not to mention he's got some silver "glitter" (as Tatum calls it) in his curls.

Tatum is curvier; she's gained about 15 pounds since med school, and her body has taken on a curvier figure of a larger chest and thicker thighs. And Ethan LOVES it. I probably shouldn't admit that I have this make-believe conversation in my head, but I HC Ethan telling her that he enjoys sex with her even more these days because it's more comfortable for him (LOL 🙈).

Just in case you're curious... Tatum has a fantastic colorist and visits her good friend Dr. Botox every 6-9 months.

And as far as having babies and why he's against it... he's concerned about her body in other ways. She's considered a geriatric mother, which makes her at risk for so many additional complications. But, it has nothing to do with weight gain or stretch marks or any other visible physical changes to the body.

Whew... sorry for being so long-winded. I hope that answers your questions, and I hope it gives you some encouragement, too! Not all guys are shallow like those men you were listening to--I promise! Sure, Ethan isn't real... but there are men similar to him that are. 🖤

Thanks again!

#you asked #i answered #shallow ain't hot #ethan x tatum #tathan

[the-firebird69]

Watch "How to Build a Backyard Rollercoaster (for less than $500)" on YouTube

It has a big a****** building these things like this and there's a huge number of errors at some pointed out right away practically anybody can see them one is made with wood that's not treated and it's going to fail or rot and the connections are just screws and it's awful and if you weigh more than 50 pounds in a break two is the pipe is not steel it's plastic and is plumbers pipe it becomes brittle after about a week in the Sun and we'll crack on a turn or even sitting on it and his broke most of them after 2 weeks and very little use and it couldn't figure out why but he didn't on purpose and number three is he wants he wants people to buy this cheap pipe and make inexpensive bombs that's why he wants us to post it so we're posting it to go after that material and we don't recommend anybody builds a roller coaster out of this pipe as a matter of fact he bends it but heating it and it we consider immediately it's ridiculous we don't know why he's doing it you can bend it with a plumber's tool and it's steel pipe and it's strong enough it's not great but you really shouldn't do it yourself it is not something you should not have an engineer do and he is by far not an engineer in any way and he is so lousy at this that everyone wants them out it's a piece of junk it's not good for anything and not a concrete but like a polymer and it'll be heavy but it would work and I said what about filling it with some sort of polymer or I said why would I do that and it's perfectly sound instead heated it with this torch in it will break you slightest push from someone heavy and he said wow that sucks I said did you test it it's not really hello there's a few things we could fill with leaving liquid plastic and it would be strong enough depending on which plastic or and there's epoxies they don't weigh a ton of so he's he looked into it he said wow you can do all that and he tried it once I think lasted a lot longer it smells like s*** though this is why because it's like an epoxy and he goes I wonder if I mixed it right well usually if you don't mix the activation ingredient it will stink and the reason why it would work is it didn't bond it didn't harden all the way but it does create pressure on the inside keeping it from cracking if I know it was true so he did it again and it came out solid as hell and it worked for like 10 years no but it works with him on it and it shouldn't he was amazed they said then you can just use like stainless steel wax on the wood after a pre-drilling or both and concrete it in and you have a real roller coaster and it's flammable but all roller coasters at a wood would be I don't know that stuff was cost a lot though this stuff cost a lot of money it's like 80 bucks a barrel and it takes three barrels but once you do it the thing is solid as a rock so he's trying to put them in and epoxy is like seal it off but you really don't need it at all and it costs a lot of money you said that's the most fascinating thing I've ever seen so you build like this winter fortress in the shallow tunnel and if you want to escape you just go zip out everything is that tram it's probably a fat ass so ran into me both of us went off the damn thing so we started laughing saying that was stupid.... You said to him I heard you went back up there and went flying off at like 10 times got really banged up so I was trying to slow down because of that he said smiling said he can't sit on the damn thing you look at the Jamaican the Jamaican bobsled team. Looked into what you're saying and it's this is cheap rollers he's going to put high tech wheels on there and try and stay on the track and high speed so he's going to go up there and it's probably going to fly off the damn thing.

......!We do not recommend anybody build it like this!....

This is a dangerous if not deadly machine and you don't want to build it like this in any way it has no safety features you can walk under it and get hit and cut in half you can break and fly off the thing you can break and it'll fly into you that it is terrible also has a shield on the front and it's very strong and it has a body that's strong and the safety features on the track so people can't walk under it and pop up not easily and you don't want to do that so we built it and we have several models and they're very nice they do sell some online but ours are different they're a lot less expensive the starting one which is

:300 yards long which is about the same run as this guy's first one it's pretty long and it does some up and downs and some side to side and you can buy it with one loop de loop and they have a higher starting point and you go right into it and it is intense it is so much fun it's a real roller coaster and people have parties and parties and it's made for adults up to 250 lb and you can buy two or three cards that link together and it's a horror show when you go up to the starting point it doesn't have to go to your deck or your house or your roof you go to the starting point has a motor and each cart has a separate one if you have more than one and it brings you up to the top of the start and and you you go and if you get stuck you turn the motor on you can drive back to the beginning that's one reason why it is an intense machine and entertainment and that is all for the price of 2800.00 includes all the nuts and bolts and the cart it's for one card with a two-seater you sit one behind the other and since the track is close together like you see here but it's not his track but lot will think it might be and it is all steel pipe and it's metal pipe that is thicker about a quarter inch almost 3/8 of an inch thick and it doesn't rust and it doesn't break and bend it is very solid like it is steel but it's a metal form of steel and it is well painted with an epoxy coating it doesn't chip or doesn't come off it doesn't melt it won't burn and the sun doesn't change the color as with the cab itself it's a safety cab it has harnesses in it that you lower and lock in you can't get in and out of it without locking yourself in or unlocking and pushing it up you can't ride without it down because it won't go it has a safety feature and you have a seatbelt too and in the car itself has a windshield that's solid lexan but the new type and the track is built with reinforced steel and it's stronger and that framework too and it comes with all the nuts and bolts and screws and attachment items and there are some adhesive and the only thing you need to do is putting footings yourself it has sleeves that go into the footings and they're stainless steel mounts and you put those up and they're slightly adjustable cuz most people can't get it right and there's a way to place them so you don't miss and we have temporary stanchions that hold up your roller coaster so you put the you put the roller coaster in and you dig the holes and depending where you are in a certain depth and then you pour the concrete with the stanchions with the inserts and everything all the symbols and attached if you have to make Minor adjustments you can and then you'll bolt to town all over the quick bolts and it's not the real term for what the volts are but the professional steel erection bolts and our son had the idea and they're all a stainless very strong and you go to a certain strength and in the bolt locks off and it cuts off the waist and it locks the bolt in and you can't move it for the most part without ruining it and you have to put a new one in and the reason for that is that you don't want to shake loose and you don't need lock washers those make it fall apart and it's recommended that use these on roller coasters most people do now super high tech ones for your weld and bolt it and those are big ones and this one is not that expensive

: 400 yd and it has a couple loop de loops and it has more ups and downs and sideways motions and it's faster and higher it starts out at about 30 ft as opposed to 20 ft no it goes up about 30 yards and the other one is 20 yards that's right 60 ft high so professional roller coaster and the first one you need an area about 150 ft by 75 ft minimum clear just absolutely nothing there this roller coaster you need 200 ft by 100 ft and the price for this is $3,800 and it comes with two cards and it has electrical systems that light up the roller coaster but not too much A lot of people put tons of lights on it and it's really nice and fun and it's great at parties almost everybody uses it almost all night long

: 800 yd and yeah it's about 40 yards up but it's 45 and that's getting to be professional grade so 140 ft and drop really the drop is 120 but it goes about 80 miles an hour and the cards in the track are more professional grade and you get three cards and it it goes three loop de loops full loop de loops and about four or five bands that are almost 90° and eight or nine up and down and it ends with like a suicide stop it goes up a hill and stops and then you have to use the motors and it won't go backwards this one starts at about 5500 and that's just a ship to your house dropped off in a big box so I got 20 ft by 10 ft by 10 ft box

: 1500 yd this has four cards and it's professional grade steel and connections and welding is required not recommended and you can rent a welder and it's called a MIG and it has very little slag and requires almost no skill to use you just have to follow the instructions and the only thing that can really mess up with is just holding in one place but most people get it and it has instructional video and this has five loop-de-loops and about seven banking corners that are 90° and about 8 up and downs and some more stuff round and round it has one chronicle version corkscrew really is what they call it and it's intense and it goes about 90 miles an hour and it has a suicide stop and that's really a safety feature and people play with it all night long and they charge people for the sea buy it and they put it into carnivals traveling carnivals and we use it in our carnivals and it's small and it's for we usually use it for children and young adults the price on this is 23,000 plus or minus

: 2500 yd and was trying to get into pro grade this goes up 300 feet and the one above requires about 300 by 300 ft and this one requires 600 by 700 ft of space and that's very big okay the lot in the back of our son's house if you take the shed out it's only about 75 by 40 so you can imagine that it's probably about four houses buy two houses deep or three houses deep you'd have to take a road out it's pretty big but there's a ton of area here in Florida that could fit it and it comes with professional grade professional size cards that are side by side and the carts are professional grade roller coasters and you have four in each cart and it comes with four cards and they look like professional grade roller coasters and this one comes with a dog house and we start there and you end up back there and it's not electric all the others are electric onboard motors please are a elevator type it's a tram that's what it really is and you go about a hundred miles an hour and most roller coasters go about 50 miles an hour we recommend professional installation but this is a DIY kit it is not for beginners we recommend that you be a construction professional at minimum it would be best if you were a installer for into entertainment facilities and have roller coasters so you know what you're doing it's it's difficult but the whole thing together put the concrete in and call the electrician and it will be a working functional roller coaster and he know how to do it and he can do a really good job but mostly wouldn't know how to do it that's what we're saying this would require a space that's pretty large. 600x700 is two football fields by two and a half football fields so it's really quite large a lot of people have that land nearby no but some do and then put it they can get that they can it starts at 300 ft and has five loop de loops about 10 Banks and 90° two corkscrews and it is up and down it's a wild ride inside to side and it has speakers and it has some music center in the doghouse and it's a control center in the doghouse and we recommend you be a professional if you buy this but it's not required in some cities in towns and states what you should check first you put it in and we're not liable for licensing it. The cost for this roller coaster is not cheap because it's a real one the last two are real too but this is for adults and it's professional grade and can carry a thousand pounds per cart and it'll run for years it has a 10 year warranty and guarantee it is $100,000

We have sales that are up of this I'm just going to post it to see what happens and I'm adding the phones on some of the questions and we make a professional grade roller coaster most of them are designed build now these you can add components and add options and you can add more components to each one of them and go out to the side but we have to re-engineer it before we sell the components for your install to be correct if you buy the components and put them in yourself without the engineering work you're really on your own but it's free up front

Thor Freya

They say is he can make it bigger and it will still work but they would have to look at it and they may have to enlarge the starting area and change the makeup so you don't fly off the thing right away

Hera Zues

Did you say that's why because it is

Thor Freya

This is more fun than we deserve but we need a break and this is it

Olympus

#Youtube

[impala1967dwinchester]

Dean Winchester: Miracle and Simon

Pairing: Dean W. x Wife!Reader Pov: Dean Warnings: Fluff, a little bit of angst, Dean, dogs, talk of infertility, sadness, overall fluff, comforting Dean, Sam is mention. Summary: Y/n and Dean learn after a long time of trying for children that Y/n is unable to bare a child. With this news, they decide to wait. When Dean comes across two very cute pups how can Dean pass it up? Word Count: 2.3k A/N: Written for band-psychos 1.5 followers writing bingo challenge. This is sad, but good at the same time. By the way, I have absolutely no clue what it's like to be told that I won't be able to have children, so what I may say may be wrong. Also, I'm sorry if this is something that affects you. Square: First Pet

Dean Winchester Master List

Main Master List

Tag list: @band--psycho @akshi8278 @deanswaywardgirl @hit-meup69 @doctorlilo @fofisstilinski @wonderfulworldofwinchester

Month, turned into years of trying for a baby. It was okay in the beginning, but it turned into constant disappointment. Not disappointed in Y/n or myself. Just overall disappointment in the situation.

How we had been stripped of the ability to have kids. Y/n being stripped of the chance of being the best mother I know she can be. I felt more hopeless, and helpless than I had in any other part of my life.

My darling wife unable to bare a child, unable to be the most gifted thing in life. Unable to become a mother. That day was horrific, She cried in my arms and spent the drive back home in silence.

She stayed away, she had moved back into her old room. Forcing everything that we had built to be crushed. She pushed everything and everyone away.

It was horrible, she wore her ring still. Years of marriage, years of trying. Years of our life being shut out. Being put behind a wall because she felt as if she wasn't enough, wasn't worth being with.

There were nights of course I'd try and make conversation with her, but it always ended in silence, or in me talking enough for the both of us.

The few months that she pushed me away were the hardest, hearing the loud sobs echo through the halls. Not hearing her voice at all was the worst of it all, not being able to see the bright smile that used to blossom on her face was horrible.

So many things that I wish that I could change for her, so many things that I wish that I could make better. Better for her, better for me, but most importantly better for our relationship.

Finally one night.

Hearing a soft knock on my door, even with it being ajar. "Dean.. Can I come in?" Y/n asked, barely poking her head into my, our room. I was still a little confused on that one.

"Of course honey," I said pulling the bedspread back so if she wished she could climb into bed with me. She walked in slowly, not bothering to shut the door behind her.

She wore an old shirt of mine, sleep shorts, and her slippers. She looked just like she has always looked comfortable, but the look on her face was a displacement of how she looked. Her voice was white, heavy purple and black circles under her eyes, her face even looked a little bit too skinny.

Y/n say slipping her slippers off before climbing to the bed with me. "Hey." She said timidly like, "Hey baby," I said. During the time she had taken to be by herself, I had done more than enough research about what happened when women learned that they were infertile.

How they need space, or how they didn't like to be touched, how they could have outbursts of many different emotions. It's been five months and now Y/n's back in our bed. I'm hesitant to touch her, I think she can tell.

"Let me first say that"

"I missed you"

We spoke at the same time, speaking at the same was something that we always tended to do... God to hear her voice was amazing, like cutting butter so smooth and calming. She was so perfect to me no matter what was going on outside of this moment right now.

I smiled, and Y/n smiled back at me. It wasn't a full smile, but it was true and halfway there. "Do you want me to go first?" I asked not wanting to push her if she wasn't fully comfortable with it.

But if she wasn't comfortable with it then she wouldn't have come to my... our room and sat down next to her husband. Right? 'Stop asking so many questions.'

"If you want to Dean." She said her voice starting to waver. She's going to start crying, start talking Dean.

"I'm going, to be honest with you here. I don't know what to say.' Smiling afterward, ' I... I want you to know that you aren't alone in this, I know now that you needed your space, I want you to know that no matter what you think I don't blame you at all, not once. Because I'll forever love you. I've also been reading a lot,' Y/n was smiling now, raising her eyebrows at my reading comment. 'Anything for you Y/n you know that, but regardless I've been doing some reading on this situation, how this may affect us, you and myself. I just want you to know that I'm here for you." I said finally shutting my mouth.

She didn't look like she was going to cry anymore. Y/n was smiling a bright tooth-grinning smile. "You know Dean even when you don't know what to say you always manage to say the right thing, every single fuckin' time," She said through her smile.

Is it weird to say, but I know when Y/n is at her most happy because she curses. She spouts out every single bad curse word there is known to man. Just to tell you how happy she truly is.

God, I missed her smile. You don't realize just how much you miss something or even need it until it stops coming into your life and then comes back into your life a bullet.

I reached out to touch her, but I'm still hesitant. Very hesitant she most definitely saw that. When I went to take my hand back to my lap, she reached out grabbing my hand.

She's so soft, and her hands god how I've forgotten how much smaller her hands are to mine. Look at her hands, look at that ring, still shiny and glistening under the light of our room. That ring I think is what brought her back to me, no scratch that I think our love for each other is brought her back to me.

I had been looking for weeks after Y/n finally came back. Everything needs to settle down before I can even prompt the question to her. I want her to feel safe, I don't her to feel pressured or like I might be trying to replace the idea of children.

I again dived in and did the research for my idea. Sam even helped me, helped me to try and find the right one for her and me. Sam knows a lot of things but he especially knows this about me. When I do something I do it all the way, no half-assing anything and that only becomes ten times more when Y/n is thrown into the situation.

Doing the best research I could with the help of my brother of course. I found the best thing, not something I necessarily like the idea of but anything to help Y/n.

Anything for her.

They passed my screen, and before I knew it I was scrolling back up to them. In the loud and bold letter, it read.

These two come together, a pit bull and a golden retriever. Price is free, just come and pick them up today.

It just clicked, you ever have those types of moments. Where you can feel deep down in your mind, and body. Gosh, I'm really starting to get more and more like Sam.

I shouldn't say that because honestly, that's how it was for me when I first met Y/n. But that is most definitely a story for another time. I jumped from my seat sending the library chair to slide and then fall against the tile floor.

"Are you okay?" I heard Y/n's sweet voice ringing from behind me. 'Shit I forgot' "Yeah I'm fine, I just remember that I forgot to grab something when I was out earlier," I said, turning jamming my phone in my back pocket, calmly walking over to her, and kissing her temple saying bye.

I rushed, driving down the gravel road that leads to home sweet home. If nobody knew what I was doing they'd probably all think I was trying to get away from a murder that I just committed.

The drive to pups was silent. I'd driven baby so many times alone, but this time it just felt different. My impala was the first one parked, a few people close behind me. I rushed up to the fairly older man. He looked over my shoulder, he huffed before waving the other people off.

"Now listen heree son, I'm given' you 2 pups for nothing, so I don't want to hear anything." He said stepping down the porch and walking in front of me to the red broke down barn.

"They're in here. All yours." He said pulling back the door and then walking back to his barn house. Pointing in a very general area, there were 2 pups as the old man called them. Curled up into each other, 'cute' I thought to myself.

'I've already been gone for too long, hurry up Dean.' I said to myself. "Do they respond to commands? Like come, or no?" I asked as I slouched down to the height or near height of them. He hummed and said a few things under his breath.

"Come here," I said gently, just like if I were talking to Y/n. I know that as husband and wife you're supposed to talk about things before you just go outright and do them, but I kind of figured that Y/n wouldn't have any cons to having some furry children. It would most definitely take her mind somewhere else for the moment.

Waking them up from their shallow sleep, they were both wary at first, but grow to be giving me kisses had me rolling around on the dirty ground.

"Come on son!" The old man said. I jumped up from the ground dusting my clothes off and whistling for the dog's attention. "Let's go" They followed us out of the barn and chased after each other. There was no need for a transaction seeing as he just wanted them gone.

I whistled again, both chasing each other and coming to a fast stop in front of me. I was hesitant to let these pups in my baby, but anything for my girl, for her happiness, anything for her.

Both jumping up and finding a comfy spot and laying down. I speed back home, I'd already been gone for much longer than I originally wanted.

I once again speed down the gravel road heading to my home sweet home. Parking in the garage caused the pups to raise their heads. That being the first time, at least they don't complain about my driving like Sam does. That's rather nice.

I opened the back door and let both of them slip out. Yes at that moment I had realized that I had in fact told nobody of my plans, and I also had nothing to give them food-wise.

Letting them into the bunker they seemed to feel at home, but the more odd thing was that they didn't seem to care about anything other than finding Y/n.

An odd moment, it's like Sam said years ago sometimes animals can sense evil, so why can't they sense happiness or even sadness. I wonder?

The two of them led their own ways to the door of our bedroom. "Sit," I said quietly. They looked at each other and sat down, well actually they laid down.

I knocked and then came in seeing at it was also my room. "When'd you get back?" Y/n's honey slick voiced asked. "Just a few moments ago, love...." There was a comfortable silence between us, but Y/n always knows.

"What are you hiding Winchester?" She asked, pulling the sheets from her body. 'No don't get out of bed' "I need you to stay in bed for this surprise if you will." I said gesturing her to lay back down. " Be ready okay?" I said opening the door,

There sat a golden retriever and a pit bull. I heard her gasp "Dean?!". Behind me I saw the two dogs slowly sit up fully, they looked over at me, then over at Y/n.

I nodded and whistled. The pitbull was the first one to reach Y/n his nose nudging her arm. "Dean?" I heard again, so I turned I was smiling, the dog has already made a way onto her lap. "We.. are.. you." Y/n was most definitely stumbling over her words.

"Yes, they're ours. I thought that if we y'know. We could find a way to take care of something. I think he likes you, baby." I said walking all the way into the room having the golden following close behind me. "Yeah and I think she likes you, Dean." She said, patting the pits head.

"They need names," I said nodding to let the golden know that it was okay for her to jump up on the bed. I want my bed to remember them too, cause my bed is memory foam.

"Miracle and Simon. What do you think." Y/n said resting her hand on top of the pits head. "Whos who?" I asked, Y/n pointed at the dog taking up most of my lap, "That's Miracle" then moving and pointing over the sleeping pup in her lap snoring "This, sweet boy is Simon." She said a single tear falling down her cheek.

"What's wrong honey?" I asked "I know that I didn't even ask you if this was okay," I said worrying as more tears fall down her soft warm-toned cheeks.

"Nothing is wrong Dean, I just remembered that I wanted to maybe name our son Simon when we finally got pregnant." She said, I wiped her stray tears and said, "We've got our son and daughter just in fur version. And being together is enough for me." Kissing her forehead. A whispered, "Thank you Deanie Beanie." I rolled my eyes and kissed her forehead again.

Completed on: 05/24/2021

Posted on 05/25/2021

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