#and just... girl i'm so sorry. it was just bc the prison had you lined up for something else (if i remember correctly).

[mutatiio]

y'know something that's hilarious to me?? apprentice maul constantly questions his purpose in sidious' big plan. he longs to know his role. longs to prove himself worthy of fulfilling it and perhaps,, just maybe,,,, getting to know what it is. he questions it so much that (seer that he is) he has a dream (a vision) where he faces himself. they fight but ultimately, his doppelganger wins and cuts him in half. at the waist. and maul took this to mean that he has to use his full power rather than holding back like he's been doing (under sidious' instruction) instead of an extremely foreboding glimpse of his future (yes, obi-wan cuts him in half but really it's his own cockiness that causes it. had he just killed obi-wan rather than mocking him then he would have survived).

but the vision answers his question. he has no role in sidious' plan.

#⸢ headcanon ⤑ maul ⸥ always remember. #he's so dumb. #i love him. #girlie the answers were RIGHT THERE. #i can't blame him too much tho... #he's so brainwashed. #there's one point in lockdown where he gets lucky and the bombs implanted in his hearts don't go off even tho he thinks they should. #and he starts thinking the dark side saved his life bc he's got a massive and grand role to play in the galaxy. #and just... girl i'm so sorry. it was just bc the prison had you lined up for something else (if i remember correctly). #this probably sounds wild. lockdown is a WILD book.

[catt-leya]

no bc what about rick having an internal battle bc he doesn’t know how to tell you that he finds you just so hot. like he fantasizes about you nearly every day.

i don’t wanna be too specific so that you can let your imagination fly 😫 i just know the man would feel so dirty after he finishes,, like so guilty

Dirty (18+) || Rick Grimes

I am so sorry Anon 💓

I had the fic ready for a while, but never posted it.

Let's see how regularly I will post soon, but the requets I have, I will of course work off one by one.

I hope you enjoy reading it, even if it's not my best work 💓

Trigger: dirty talk (of course), age gap (no one is a minor!)

You wipe the sweat from your forehead and look over at Maggie, who is lifting the next post with Rick.

In the last few days, the walkers outside the prison fences have been increasing in number, so Rick has asked you and Maggie to help him put up the wooden posts.

Sighing, you bend over and grab the next piece of wood, not noticing how Rick's gaze wanders to your butt and for a few seconds he just stares at you before he catches himself staring and turns his head back to Maggie a little too violently.

Again and again, he faints and lapses into daydreams that include you. Preferably naked and under himself.

But what keeps him from trying anything is your age.

Of course, theoretically you would be old enough and in itself it would be nothing reprehensible, but he simply does not want to cross the line and therefore holds back.

Every time you get close to him, which is not uncommon because you are a very open person who doesn't shy away from physical contact, he pulls himself together and tries to treat you like any other member in your group, even though he would love to rip your clothes off.

What he doesn't know is that you are purposefully seeking physical contact with him.

Ever since you first saw him in his boots and worn shirt, you've been completely smitten with him, making an effort to be close to him without seeming pushy.

Mainly because you think that he sees you anyway only as a little girl who is too young to tease him in any way.

What's good for both of you is that you get along really well, even though neither of you know that the other wants more.

That's why you pick up the log with a groan and call out to Rick, "Okay, I'm really not going to heave this thing to the fence by myself, Rick."

You feel him close behind you before he replies, "Wait."

Rick walks past you and lifts the other side, taking some of the weight off of you and you smile openly at him.

You're standing directly across from each other and Rick can't help but let his gaze slide over your beautiful face, which must be slightly heated from the physical labor, and he follows the beads of sweat that form on your forehead and slowly slide down your cheek over your neck and then to the hollow between your collarbones before they sinfully disappear between your breasts and he wishes he could kiss you right there.

You watch his eyes lower to your breasts and notice heat rising inside you.

With each breath, your breasts lift slightly and he stares so intently at your cleavage that it feels like he's looking through your top and you notice your nipples stiffen.

Because you're still holding the wooden stake between you and Rick, you can't cover your breasts any more, and because you've gone without a bra, you're sure he can see your nipples clearly through the top.

In fact, he's a bit surprised when he can see the hard tips and is almost ashamed to say that he would give a lot to take them between his teeth and show you how sensitive your breasts can be.

Swallowing hard, he wants to look you in the face again, when a shrill scream echoes from one of the cell blocks and you both drop the wood at the same time.

Hectically you turn to Maggie, who doesn't hesitate for a second and runs to the cells, closely followed by Rick. Briefly you look to the fence and follow the two.

On the way, Rick has overtaken Maggie and rushes to the cells, closely followed by her. You're about to head for the door when a little girl runs out and straight for you.

Panicked, she babbles something to herself and you drop to your knees to calm her down a bit, "Shhhh, it's okay. It's going to be okay."

Again you look at the door but no one comes out and the screams get quieter and quieter.

Worrying that something has happened to your friends and you weren't there to stop anything.

You have no idea how long you hold the little girl in your arms, when the first people come out of the building with their eyes widened in fear and a young woman comes running towards you and the girl.

Fiercely, she pulls the girl into her arms and whispers, "You're okay. Thank heaven."

Now that you no longer have a job to do you can't help but stare at the people from the building, anxiously waiting for Rick to return.

People are falling into each other's arms and tears are being shed, only you are pacing.

As everyone comes out, you don't dare go in and stand a little apart to get a better view.

The group of people slowly disperses and you curse softly, "Shit."

Just as you decide to go into the building and see for yourself what happened inside, the door swings open and Rick comes out followed by Daryl and Maggie.

Without much thought you sprint in his direction and as his eyes fall on you, he says, "You might want to keep your distance."

But you couldn't care less about his words, so you fall around his neck at the top of your lungs.

Surprised by your reaction, he staggers back a few steps and catches himself before you can both topple backwards, wrapping his arms rather hesitantly around your waist.

Rick can't describe how happy he was to see that you didn't crash into the cell block with him and all tension now falls from his shoulders as he feels your body against his.

Your whole body shakes and he pulls you even closer to him, "Hey, I'm fine."

His voice is soft in your ears and you just bury your nose harder into his chest, turning him on more than it should in this situation.

He looks up from you and his gaze meets Daryl's, who raises an eyebrow questioningly, but Rick just nods slightly, which Daryl takes as a sign that everything is fine as far as it can be in this situation and walks with Maggie to what is currently the only safe cell block.

Rick's attention is taken over by you again, as you whisper softly through his chest: "I thought something had happened to you. You haven't come out in so long."

He can't help a smile forming on his face as he hears your concern. Especially since you've only fallen for his neck and no one else's.

Also, he would be lying if he didn't also admit that he has an extreme physical reaction to you. The way your soft breasts press against his torso and your arms are wrapped tightly around him.

Gently, he pushes his hips away from you a little so you don't notice HOW excited he is about your embrace and murmurs, "Sorry you had to wait so long."

At his words, your breathing slowly calms and you move away from him a bit so you can look him in the face and nod, "Okay. What happened anyway?"

Calmly, Rick describes to you what happened in the cells and neither of you think about the fact that you're still in each other's arms.

After Rick finishes, you gently disengage from his embrace and clear your throat, "Sorry, I know you can take care of yourself."

Silently, you look at each other for a few seconds and you can tell Rick is struggling with what words to choose before he hesitantly opens his mouth, "I don't mind. I...like it."

Surprised by his confession, you blink several times before biting your lower lip lightly and nodding.

Rick tries to take in every reaction from you and doesn't take his eyes off you as you take a small step back and ask, "You like it when I touch you?"

He didn't say it verbatim but you hit it well, so he nods, "Yeah."

You can practically grab the tension between you and you're tense to the max as you reach out your small hand compared to his large one and nervously place it on his chest, "Like here?"

Rick looks down at your hand and exhales an agonized breath as he thinks of where your hand would look much better.

He can't gauge what you're up to and asks in a raspy voice, "What are you doing?"

Shakily you exhale and let your hand slide feather light to his flat stomach, "I just want to know where to touch you."

The brief time you thought something might have happened to him has pulled the rug out from under you and you're desperate to know how far you can go after he really doesn't seem averse.

You just can't hide the fact that your hand is shaking slightly, and Rick takes a quick look around. When he doesn't spot anyone in the immediate vicinity, he takes your hand from his stomach and pulls you behind him into a small room nearby.

You stumble after him and are gently pushed against the door by him before he says softly, "You don't have to worry about me leaving and whatever short-circuit reaction you had earlier, just forget about it."

Now you realize that he didn't bring you here to fuck you, but so that he wouldn't have to tell you to get him out of your head in front of any witnesses.

You're thankful that there are no windows in the room and therefore it's so dark that he can't see your cheeks, which are flushed with shame.

You could have sworn that he really enjoyed your closeness, so you murmur shamefully, "If you don't want me to touch you, please let me go."

At that moment, you just want to be as far away from him as possible, but he blocks you with his body and growls softly, "You've got me all wrong. Shit, I'd give a lot to have you jerk me off, but I shouldn't want that."

Immediately he notices you stiffen and regrets his unfiltered words, but before he can salvage what needs to be salvaged, you purposefully place your hand on his belt, "I'm curious about the explanation of why you shouldn't want me to shove my hand down your pants right now, though."

At your words, Rick shifts toward your hand more out of reflex than intent and sighs softly, "What are you, 20? 21? It just feels dirty to look at you that way and want you."

Rick is teetering along the edge of his self-control as you thoughtfully run the flat of your hand over his belt buckle and lean your head against the door to face him in the dim darkness, "I'm 22."

Confused, he furrows his eyebrows, "What?"

You release your hand from his belt and he already thinks you're going to ask him to make room for you now, but you place your hands on his left and right arm, propped up next to your head, and slowly travel up his forearms to his strong upper arms and then to his neck to intertwine your fingers in his curls before answering: "You did guess how old I am and that's why I'm telling you I'm 22 and that's why there's nothing wrong with you getting hard thinking about me or fucking me until I can't moan anything but your name, Rick. "

Hearing his name from your lips, escaping you like a soft sigh, makes him moan softly and you know you've got him almost where you want him, which is why you kick it up a notch and purr, "Don't you want to ruin me? Feel my soft body under your palms and grab me so hard that I'll be walking around marked by you for the next few days. I bet you're incredibly turned on by the age difference, and you'd just love to know what it's like to be so deep inside me that I can't think straight, wouldn't you?"

You can see exactly when he's caving in and can't hold back anymore. It's just a slight change in his eyes and you know you're getting what you wanted when he leans in slightly and growls, "You want it hard?"

Your heart hammers in your chest as you bring out hoarsely, "Yes, please."

The door presses coldly against your back as he bridges the small distance and presses his lips firmly to yours and you close your eyes, fluttering.

It's been a while since you've kissed a man, but I guess it's like never forgetting how to ride a bike. Intuitively, you know what to do and push up on your toes so Rick doesn't have to lean down so far.

The kiss is hard and passionate, as if Rick is putting all of his desire that has been building up over all this time into the kiss and you are trying to show him that as well.

Because he's still not really touching you and is still leaning against the door behind you, you take advantage of the moment and press yourself firmly against him, then turn him so that he's leaning against the door with his broad back and looks down at you in surprise.

Rick has never thought of you as a weak woman, of course you are physically inferior to him, but that has never prevented you from standing up to him, but the fact that you suddenly take control in the foreplay surprises him, even though he should perhaps have expected it after your little speech earlier.

He can't take his eyes off you as you move your small hands from his neck to his chest and you slowly lower yourself to your knees in front of him.

You feel his irregular heartbeat under your palms before you continue to look into his beautiful blue eyes and your hands come to rest on his belt buckle again.

Slowly you pull the belt out of the buckle and pull his pants including boxers to just below his hipbones to breathe a light kiss on them.

The light and innocent touch of your lips so close to his twitching cock almost makes Rick lose control and he reaches into your hair, making you laugh softly, "Is this how you imagined it?"

Rick's head falls forward a little, causing some curls to hang in his face as he brings out in a clenched voice, "Better than I imagined."

Gently, you pull his pants completely off, trying not to swallow hard when you see how big he actually is, licking your lips instead to get ready.

Your eyes are focused on the task in front of you, but you can feel Rick's eyes boring into your face.

The trembling in his hands also gives him away: he wants you a lot more than he'd admit.

As he watches you take him inch by inch in your mouth, he really has to pull himself together not to fuck you in the mouth until tears would be in your eyes.

The image of you on your knees in front of him drills into his memory and he knows very well that he will never be able to think of anything other than your warm wet mouth the next time he jerks himself off.

Gently you do what you think is right and elicit a rough moan from Rick.

As you look up, his head leans against the door behind him and his hands push you further toward him at the back of your head that you take more than before into your mouth.

It gives you pure satisfaction that you can make him moan your name and press your legs together to help yourself somehow as well.

Your hands move to his strong thighs and your eyes fall closed as you think of his thighs being squeezed between yours.

Briefly, you are blown away as Rick grabs you tighter by your hair and forces you to let go of him and lets him pull you up.

Swaying, you stand in front of him and his hot gaze lingers on your swollen lips, "Do you want me?"

Without hesitation, you nod your head vigorously and he pulls your head back towards him and kisses you on the lips.

Everything that has been fades into the background for Rick and he slowly pushes you further and further back.

He grabs your thighs and moans, "Jump."

You do as he asks and wrap your legs around his narrow waist.

Without breaking the kiss, he carries you to a small table in a corner and gently lowers you onto it before reaching for your waistband and you wordlessly lift your hips so he can remove your pants and panties.

Your whole body trembles as his warm hands glide over your bare skin and he can't believe you are responding to him like this.

You feel so small and soft in his hands, and in all his life he's felt this way about a woman as the moment your hands move to the buttons of his shirt and you undo one button at a time.

As you reach the bottom, he brushes the shirt off his shoulders and leans forward slightly to whisper in your ear, "Spread your legs for me."

As confident and cocky as you were before, it's all gone now and you whimper softly as the cold air brushes your damp center as you open your thighs for him to stand between.

His body seems so wide and masculine between your legs, making you feel fragile at the way he towers over you.

You must be looking at him in a certain way, because he tilts his head slightly and asks, "Is something wrong?"

He snaps you out of your thoughts and you ask hoarsely, "What?"

His big warm hands come to rest on your thighs as he says, "You're looking at me in a very unusual way."

He does speak to you, but as he does, he lets his hands move higher and higher and every thought in your head becomes absorbent cotton, causing you to speak too freely, "You're so...manly."

His right hand moves between your legs and he laughs, "Manly?"

You realize how ridiculous it sounds, but his fingers play lightly at the dampness between your legs and because of that, you just nod and push your hips toward him for more.

Shivering, you close your eyes and whimper softly, "Yeah, is one reason why I'm so...attracted to you."

"Hmmm." His head lowers a little to your face, "I'll just take that as a compliment now."

Your lips part to say something back, but at that exact moment he slides a finger inside you and your forehead falls to his shoulder.

That's all he does, and you sigh shakily, "Please."

His touch is killing you, but it's still just not enough.

You notice how his chest rises and falls before he growls, "Isn't it enough?"

Greedily, you wrap your arms around his neck and move closer, "God, no. More, please."

Gently, he pulls his finger back a little and then slides a second one inside you with it. The stretch makes you see stars at first and he murmurs, "If you ask me so sweetly."

Finally, he moves his fingers just as you need them to and cradles your hips further against his hand.

The hand that is free he places on your neck and presses your face firmly against him.

Your lips are pressed against his neck as a result and you take the opportunity to suck on it.

You lick over his pulse and you quickly realize that the hotter you make him, the more intensely he fingers you.

Extremely questionable sounds slip over your lips and he presses your face even tighter against him as he gasps, "That's good. Your pussy is so wet and all this just for me."

His name slips from your lips and you realize you're just one move away from cumming on his fingers, but right then he pulls them out and pulls you away from him by the nape of your neck.

Speechless, you stare at him, unable to believe that he has denied you your orgasm, especially as he looks down at you with extreme satisfaction and smiles cockily, "Is there a problem?"

Your lips open and close again and again before you choke out, "You can't just stop."

He lifts his hand, licks his fingers, and grins, "And how I can."

Briefly, your gaze slides to his neck on which the mark you gave him is already visible before you push your bottom lip forward far too tearfully and he immediately stares at your pout.

Before you can say anything else, he leans forward and presses his mouth hard on yours.

He takes you completely and you no longer know where is above and below.

The surface beneath you must already be glistening with moisture as he softly breathes against your lips, "I want you to cum on my cock. That's why I stopped."

His way of talking to you is new and fucking exciting and you can only whimper softly at his crude words.

Rick sees every reaction you have to his words and really has to hold back as he pulls you to the edge as gently as he can and wraps his warm hands around your thighs to wrap around his bare hips before whispering, "You think you can stay like this?"

Your eyes mirror the joyful gleam of his own, and in response you pull him further toward you with your legs so that you feel his cock right at your entrance and your insides tighten around nothing.

Rick can only hope that you don't realize how blatant you are turning him on and how many times he has imagined completely sinking into you.

Perhaps a little too impatiently, he places a hand in the small of your back and moans as he thrusts into you in his fluid motion, "This is so fucking hot."

Never has a man filled you as much as Rick does at this moment, and you stare at him with huge eyes as he takes a shaky breath, unable to believe that he actually desires you like this.

Without much thought, you pull his face to you by the nape of his neck and kiss him blindly with desire.

Rick takes it as permission to finally move inside you like he's always wanted and thrusts into you one more time, only harder and much more desperate.

You are both unable to kiss anymore, so he just presses his nose against yours and swallows every whimper and moan from you.

Your legs are wrapped convulsively around his waist and the closer Rick gets to his own release, the bolder he feels.

The thought of coming right inside you and marking you as his shouldn't feel as good as it does to him right now.

Somewhere in the back of his mind, he feels so incredibly guilty about fucking a young woman like you senseless, because that's exactly what he's holding in his arms right now.

You're so close to your orgasm that you can barely hold yourself up and keep begging him to take you harder and telling him how good he feels.

You're practically hanging in his arms and he realizes how his heart skips a beat at the sight of you. How you give yourself completely to him and trust him.

It goes beyond the purely physical and before he can think about it further, he presses a heated kiss on your lips and gasps harshly, "Do you realize how deep I am inside you. I'd love to stay right there forever."

The control of your words slips away and you whimper, "Then do it."

You're not even really aware of your words, but Rick perceives them correctly and wouldn't have thought that those very words would make him twitch inside of you and he quickly reaches between you.

It only takes a brief touch to make you come around him, giving him his end.

Never in his life has Rick come so quickly and violently as he has inside you, and never has he felt the need to hold the woman in his arms afterwards and stroke the sweaty strands of her hair.

You're the first.

You feel like your body is no longer obeying you as you lie limp and deeply satisfied in Rick's arms, taking in his smell of wood and the soap he uses.

His body is so nice and wide and it feels like he can protect you from anything and everything.

Rick's eyes are locked on you and as forbidden and dirty as it may have felt, he doesn't regret it one bit.

Especially since he doesn't even want to imagine how you would experience it with another man than him.

Just the thought that another man could touch you the way he touched you makes him sick and at that moment it clicks in his head.

Now he can feel guilty because it's not just a physical thing for him. Not just sex.

He has a crush on a woman who could be his daughter.

Involuntarily, a "fuck" slips from his lips and you murmur softly against his chest, "What is it?"

At your soft and satisfied voice, his heart skips a beat again and he knows he's really fucked.

@positive-squid @hail-yourselves @mrsxreeves

#rick grimes #rick grimes x reader #rick grimes smut #rick grimes imagine #twd #twd x reader #the walking dead #request

[noisyghost]

Ooo you fed me so well, I wasn’t even sure if I would get answers! So now I’m gonna try my hand at asking who bit Ark, what happened?! This is so juicy (rubbing my gremlin hands together).

oh rest assured, I will answer any and all OC related questions with overwhelming fervor and I will not be cool about it at all <3

The person that bit Ark was Josie! She's what the girlies like to call "a hot mess" <3

im so sorry this reply is so long. I started typing and kept failing to summarize things until it was. way too many paragraphs lmao. TLDR; Ark and Mira were attempting to rescue a woman named Josie who'd basically been manipulated into servitude by a very shitty guy. Josie also happens to be a werewolf. At some point during the attempted rescue, Josie had to watch someone she cared about a lot be killed, and she immediately wolfed out and attacked everyone around her, including Ark <3

I did not proofread this after typing it and it's 1am so i'm sorry if some things dont line up correctly, im stupid :)

Josie got bit when she was 18 on a camping trip with friends and it subsequently ruined her life. She survived bc a monster hunter killed the werewolf before it killed her, but she still got bit and ended up running away from home bc the aforementioned monster hunter told her to (it was either "run away and never come back" or "im killing you right now for real") everyone in her family thinks she died except her sister, Rose, who saw it happen and - upon never finding the body - spent the next 10 or so years looking for her.

Because Josie never really had anyone to explain to her what was going on, or support her in any way, she spent a lot of time alone, and subsequently fell into some pretty dark places. She eventually finds herself stuck in a monster fighting ring bc shes been conditioned to think that this is literally all shes good for. At the very least, she makes "good friends" with another werewolf girl stuck in the same spot as her named Cleo and theyre basically the only thing keeping each other alive for the next couple years.

At some point in all this, her sister Rose manages to track her down, but worried about her and her sisters safety, gets in contact with Mira (who is functionally the lynchpin holding the entire cities supernatural community together whether anyone knows it or not lmao) to ask for help rescuing her from the guy basically keeping her prisoner.

Aforementioned guy keeping these monster girls prisoner was named Dekker, and he was basically the scum of the earth. He dealt in monsters and magic and took advantage of a lot of peoples inability to get help (EX: 'you're a werewolf. what are you gonna do? who's gonna help you? no one. theyll just think you're crazy, and then youll end up killing innocent people because you're a monster and that's what you do). Josie and Cleo were his favorite girls and he showboated them around as both arm candy and bodyguards.

The thing with Mira and her work is that she likes to help people as best she can, but she's not like. A superhero with all the latest tech. She's a woman with a smartphone and a handful of 30 year old weirdo friends that share a group chat where someone will text "do we have plans this weekend?" and then someone will reply 3 days later with "i forgot what day it was". They're not exactly the justice league.

All they were trying to do was find Josie and rescue her for her sister. Mira has a lot of power and can do a lot of things, but this Dekker guy was notoriously slippery, and no amount of brute force was going to get them into one of these monster fights without notifying Dekker and giving him a chance to escape with the girls.

So, after tracking down one of these fights, the plan was to sneak in, find Josie and then convince her to leave with them. Originally, it was just supposed to be Mira doing all the legwork. But Ark, who was going thru a fucking crisis of identity at the time and also saw a lot of his own sister in Rose, essentially demands Mira lets him help under the guise of "I'm human, I'm way less likely to draw unwanted attention". Esp since Mira is a 6'4" goddess who attracts attention everywhere she goes lmao (Of note, they had several friends who also urged Ark to Not Volunteer To Do This, but outside factors made it unrealistic for this plan to work without getting caught with anyone other than Ark oops).

So Ark went in to find Josie and Mira was anxiously playing support, ready to rush in and save him if need be. And, to be fair, he did in fact find Josie! He told her who he was and who sent him here (Rose) and told her all she had to do was go find Mira and she would get her out. But Josie was skeptical and, frankly, afraid. She didn't believe that Mira had the power to keep her safe from Dekker, but she also didn't want to believe that her sister had been looking for her for 10 years because she was so disgusted with herself she would have preferred her sister just think she was dead!

However - Cleo, who was with Josie, did not share her fears. Cleo had had Enough, and wanted to run away with her. Josie panicked, afraid that if they ran, they were going to be hunted down and everyone involved with her was going to be killed.

So she ran away to a back room to calm down. Cleo went after her, and Ark kind of followed, but at a distance. Cleo did manage to get her settled a little, but the both of them got caught by Dekker, who harassed Josie into admitting that there was someone there trying to get them to leave, hoping he would respect the honesty. He did not.

To try and mitigate some of the flack, Cleo claimed she was the one the guy was talking to, so he would chew her out instead. Josie and Cleo both felt bad that they'd fucked this guy over, but if he was with someone as powerful as he claimed to be, he'd be alright, surely?

Apparently this was not the first time Cleo has been distant from Dekker recently. It was clear she wasn't as afraid of him as he thought she should be. So he made the executive decision to make an example out of her.

The thing about werewolves and the full moon is this: the full moon is the only time when a werewolf is forced to turn. However, they can technically turn whenever if you supply enough trauma. For Josie, that line was watching Dekker kill the only person she'd loved in the last decade.

He'd expected her to fall in line because that's what she'd been doing for the last few years. He didn't really know what Cleo had meant to her, so he hadn't expected any retaliation. But something snapped in her brain and everything kinda went red.

Josie's a particularly large werewolf - at least 13'; there's a reason she was a fighting champion - so when a beast like that gets let loose in a relatively small arena, things tend to go bad fast! She just blindly started tearing people apart (including Dekker, of course).

Ark had heard the muffled gunshots over the music and the crowd and he just went in on instinct, knowing immediately he was fucked regardless of what he did. Things escalated very quickly after that. It couldn't have been more than 30 seconds that passed inbetween Josie wolfing out and her clamping her teeth into his shoulder. And maybe it was just a moment of grief-stricken clarity, but she wavered just slightly - what the fuck was she doing? She hated him because he'd tried to help and if he'd never shown up, they would be fine. But Cleo had trusted him without a doubt, like she just intrinsically knew something about him. And no matter how much she hated him in that moment, It's not what Cleo would have wanted. Dekker was dead.

Josie gently let go of him, mostly sure it wouldn't matter because he'd die either way. She took Cleo's body and she fled. Mira saw Ark, and she saw Josie run - she could choose one or the other. She, of course, chose to help Ark, immediately struck with the guilt of knowing that he was here because she couldn't talk him out of it, and because she thought she'd be strong enough to keep him safe anyway.

The next couple weeks are a blur for everyone. Mira hates Josie and she hates Rose for coming to her in the first place. Ark hates himself, mostly, because he was tired of being the weak little human everyone had to dote on so he decided to get in over his head playing hero. Well, at least he didnt have to worry about the human part any more.

Josie buried Cleo in the woods. She marked the grave and visits often.

Anyway.

Would you believe me if I told you this very sad series of events somehow ends in Ark marrying a professional wrestler? Or Josie going on to become a lawyer with a house-husband who is also part demon? Because it somehow gets much, much weirder.

#shut up bug #not art #bug answers #absolutely deranged headworld i've built #'when does the guy with blue hair show up' #don't worry about it

[winryofresembool]

Hey My English is pretty bad but i have a questions for You, on the dark profecy Calypso said that leo isnt her saviour but leo think he is, i don't understand why she thinks he doesnt do You have any throughts of it?

First, don't worry about your English! I'm a non native English speaker myself :)

Second: you know what? That is a valid question. A disclaimer before I get into it: It's been a few years since I've read The Dark Prophecy so my memories of the exact context of that scene are (more than a little) hazy. I don't have the book in my hands so I could check it right now. But I do remember that that exact line made me kind of cringe too when I was reading it.

Anyway, from what I can remember, Calypso was having some difficulties in adjusting into her new life. Living in the modern USA is so different from the life she was used to, and even though Ogygia was also her prison, I believe she was occasionally feeling some homesickness and she also missed having her powers. Well, all of that and the fact Leo and Calypso didn't really manage to talk about their issues (=lack of communication) caused her to snap. Leo is absolutely one of my favorites in HoO, but he isn't perfect either: he didn't always respect or listen to Calypso's wishes, such as when she told him to not call her Mamacita (there were more examples but I can't remember the details right now).

So, from there we get to the question: was Calypso's snapping justified? Not really, not in my opinion at least. It is a fact that she can't/shouldn't deny that without Leo she /would/ still be in Ogygia and would likely never get out of there on her own, because the gods didn't want to release her. In other words, Leo /was/ her savior in that sense.

But was her snapping surprising? Again, not really, not for the reasons I explained earlier. The girl has a lot to deal with and sometimes we say things we don't really mean when we are frustrated. What these two need in order for their relationship to work is to talk about what's bothering them. In TDP it seemed both were bottling up things inside them and then waiting till things were at boiling point, which caused them to fight. (Tower of Nero spoilers ahead if you haven't read that book!) I think the break that was mentioned in ToN is probably a good thing in the long run bc that way they both can process what they want and what they should do differently. Honestly, I feel that at that point Rick had just read so much Caleo hate on the internet that he was like 'screw it'.

Why do I think Rick wrote Calypso that way? He was likely afraid of presenting her as a damsel in distress. These days the books targeted for younger audiences are all about having badass female characters, and Rick is someone who doesn't take criticism well (see f. ex. the way he wrote a whole essay about why he presented Piper the way he did when he got criticism for it) so he was probably worried that Calypso admitting that Leo did save her would probably paint her in the wrong kind of light. Well, if that was his reasoning, he was wrong there. Admitting the facts doesn't make someone weaker. (To be honest I disliked TDP so much that I prefer to just ignore the whole book, I don't understand why he ruined good characters that way.)

This became way too long and rambly, I'm sorry. I hope you still got something out of this answer! TLDR: I don't think Calypso actually meant what she said about Leo not being her savior, she was just so frustrated with her whole situation that it caused her to snap.

#tia speaks #caleo #calypso #leo valdez #the dark phophecy #trials of apollo #caleo haters dni

[hueningshaped]

first of all your emoticon for me,,,,,, about to make that become my whole personality😈 also i realized later on that yours should've been with a heart instead,,, the heart just doesn't do you justice you literally radiate love😾 ଘ(੭ˊᵕˋ)੭* ੈ♡‧₊ the only right way!!!😌 the soobin tweet??? why does it look like a mugshot😭😭 but working feels like being imprisoned so it's very on theme ig😐 ofc beffie let's go txt did not create run away for us to just live in these conditions!!!!! stop it i'm lit erally blushing and giggl ing rn.......... ur NOT evil!!!!!!!! i know that you always need to set aside some time to reply!!! you know i will always wait for u💘🫂💖🫶🏻💓 no because the "SICKENING" combined witch the crutches emoji had me laughing so hard😭😭😭 i can't believe instagram would do that to me though. currently walking towards zuckerberg's office with pitchfork in hand😾 i'll send a ss of it along with this ask!!! i get it beffie i always put off listening to new songs for sooooo long😭😭 the only group i follow really closely is txt but the 4th gen girls seem soooo lovely and they're doing so well too!! i still remember when the 3rd gen girls were basically fighting for their lives bc nobody gave them a chance but nowadays they are ON TOP!!! i like ive's music and they seem like such sweet girls too🥹 aside from them i also listen to stayc (run2u and stereotype,,, i'm kissing the forehead of whoever made those songs!!!!) and aespa (i usually don't like their songs (not illusion though!!! absolute banger🫶🏻) on first listen but somehow i hear them everywhere until i get obsessed with them🧎🏻) plus newjeans seem to have very good music!! but i've only heard snippets so far and i'm kind of intimidated by their age they're still babies to me i can't believe how young idols are getting😭😭 NOOOO THE VIDEOS tyun really just left him to fend for himself😭 choi line is so unserious i'm pretty sure they've convinced themselves that bickering is as important as oxygen🤨 AND THE SOOBIN VID you're so right that IS us!! OFC I LISTENED TO THE CB!!!!!!! as expected from txt it was a masterpiece🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻 ESPECIALLY RING oh m ygod ring,,,,,, it has been on repeattttt along with hitori no yoru!!! and the mv😧😧😧 it was so different from the korean version and the theories about it are so😵‍💫😵‍💫 what about you beffie!!!!!! here is the first the second and a third one to add onto the one you sent me!!! take care and give ur cats a kiss from me I LOVE U!!!!!!!!!!!

🤯❤️‍🩹⁉️⁉️ oh my god it’s literaly ben 9 days:?.?.?.!:!2&2&!/:!;! i feel like this is the first time ive been able to breathe for a little hehe :( anyway sheesh…… (im pathetically sorry btw, like very very very sorry) nono the hearts (+sparkles) are for YOU !!!!!! u radiate love 😿 it’s all you for heaven’s sakes… a lotta bit of this .˚ * ⊹ • and ♡ᐝ and boom = APPLE, everything good and nice in this world :”) yes.. work = prison. i want out 🗣 !!!! i think… i think that i’m going to try (as much as this wrenches my heart) to make messages more concise(?) at least in an efficient way so that it tricks my brain into making me answer them first before doing all my stupid monotonous tasks (idk why im set up this way 🥺 wish i could change) i just feel like im making things 100x times worse by doing nothing *cries* anyways i say this all the time so it’s pointless i suppose hehe you’d think by now i’d get myself together 🥺 nyway the last of my intentions was to just take up all my talking with my deprecation anyway haha anyway omg we mob zuckerburg’s office together ? im Down 🥹 (that picture is so funny omg ty 4 sending it to me) twice runs this world <3 twice world domination omg i enjoy those groups’ music too !!!! tho i rlly rlly love stayc im a swith 🫀 moaswith before human hehe and ahhh txt vocals in both songs?!2!2?2?3’!2!2! really appreciate the way soobin’s voice was used 🫶 good job kings 🫶 i cant even make up my mind on what really happened in the music video agh i kinda love it when something is sooo open ended that it can fit multiple theories and there’s room for it to be looked at differently through different perspectives idk the human mind is so :0 when u think about it… at the end of the day we’re just ants on a log idk 😧 i havent a clue as to what has happened since we last spoke since i feel like ive lost track of the entire world it seems 😔 imwsorrymmmm let’s see…. anything new that’s happened in ur life ? 🧐 anything that ur looking forward to or that you’ve got coming up ? 😿 i’d lov to know <3 also one thing i know is selugi solo cb *cue gasp* was there any of the rv solos that you liked more than the others ? i have to know or ill implode jk hehe also i still haven’t seen the new season for talk x today but camping with beomgyu ??? 🥺 sounds so nice hnckdjffjf AND UR LINKS!!1!1!2! ty for forwarding the penguin hyuka agenda 🫡🫡🫡 im respectfully devastated 🫡🫡🫡 the soobin tweet for some reason glitched my phone out so bad i had to restart my phone rn haha made me giggle thanks soob <3 never a dull moment with u guys and the third one disappeared ☹️ nonetheless i hold it all very dear and close to me thank you 🥹 always for thinking of me so nicely though i don’t deserve it ! YOU’RE THE ONE WHO’s…. You rock 🫶 these yeonkais are so adorable ouchies 😭 ur links for this 📫: beomgyu cat 💔 bg’s duality 🙀 the snow just like we want 😿😿😿 and us probably in an au and um here’s a song for you that ive become emotionally and physically attached to anyways… i think im rambling and contradicting myself so badly i feel like a dog that tore up a sofa while its owners were gone wjhfjsjfjsjjfj anyways. Bottom line is… i adore you and i truly hope that things have been going well for you and will continue to do so and if you are encountering a rough patch it shall pass <3 and you won’t have to endure it alone for i love you and am here for you

#ask >3< #i might have cried #i have a stye so i cant see that well rn omg #[❤️⭐️]—aquí te amo

[shkspr]

hi. on your post where you may or may not have ended on 'moffat is either your angel or your devil' did you have maybe an elaboration on that somewhere that i could possibly hear about. i'm very much a capaldi era stan and i've never tried to defend the matt smith era even though it had delightful moments sometimes so i wonder where that puts me. i'd love to hear your perspective on moffat as a person with your political perspective. -nicole

hi ok sorry i took so long to respond to this but i dont think you know how LOADED this question is for me but i am so happy to elaborate on that for you. first a few grains of salt to flavor your understanding of the whole situation: a. im unfairly biased against moffat bc im a davies stan and a tennant stan; b. i still very much enjoy and appreciate moffat era who for many reasons; and c. i hate moffat on a personal level far more than i could ever hate his work.

the thing is that its all always gonna be a bit mixed up bc i have to say a bunch of seemingly contradictory things in a row. for instance, a few moffat episodes are some of my absolute favorites of the rtd era, AND the show went way downhill when moffat took over, AND the really good episodes he wrote during the rtd era contained the seeds of his destruction.

like i made that post about the empty child/the doctor dances and it holds true for blink and thats about it bc the girl in the fireplace and silence in the library/forest of the dead are good but not nearly on the same level, and despite the fact that i like them at least nominally, they are also great examples of everything i hate about moffat and how he approached dw as a whole.

basically. doctor who is about people. there are many things about moffats tenure as showrunner that i think are a step up from rtd era who! actual gay people, for one! but i think that can likely be attributed mostly to an evolving Society as opposed to something inherent to him and his work, seeing as rtd is literally gay, and the existence of queer characters in moffats work doesnt mean the existence of good queer characters (ill give him bill but thats it!)

i have a few Primary Grievances with moffat and how he ran dw. all of them are things that got better with capaldi, but didnt go away. they are as follows:

moffat projects his own god complex onto the doctor

rtd era who had a doctor with a god complex. you cant ever be the doctor and not have a god complex. the problem with moffats era specifically is that the god complex was constant and unrepentant and was seen as a fundamental personality trait of the doctor rather than a demon he has to fight. he has the Momence where you feel bad for him, the Momence where he shows his humility or whatever and youre reminded that he doesnt want to be the lonely god, but those are just. moments. in a story where the doctor thinks hes the main character. rtd era doctor was aware that he wasnt the main character. he had to be an authority sometimes and he had to be the loner and he had to be sad about it, but he ultimately understood that he was expendable in a narrative sense.

this is how you get lines like “were the thin fat gay married anglican marines, why would we need names as well?” from the same show that gave you the gut punch moment at the end of midnight when they realize that nobody asked the hostess for her name. and on the one hand, thats a small sticking point, but on the other hand, its just one small example of the simple disregard that moffat has for humanity.

incidentally, this is a huge part of why sherlock sucked so bad: moffats main characters are special bc theyre so much bigger and better than all the normal people, and thats his downfall as a showrunner. he thinks that his audience wants fucking sheldon cooper when what they want is people.

like, ok. think of how many fantastic rtd era eps are based in the scenario “what if the doctor wasnt there? what if he was just out of commission for a bit?” and how those eps are the heart of the show!! bc theyre about people being people!! the thing is that all of the rtd era companions would have died for the doctor but he understood and the story understood that it wasnt about him.

this is like. nine sending rose home to save her life and sacrifice his own vs clara literally metaphysically entwining her existence w the doctor. ten also sending rose with her family to save her life vs river being raised from infancy to be obsessed w the doctor and then falling in love w him. martha leaving bc she values herself enough to make that decision vs amy being treated like a piece of meat.

and this is simultaneously a great callback to when i said that moffats episodes during the rtd era sometimes had the same problems as his show running (bc girl in the fireplace reeks of this), and a great segue into the next grievance.

moffat hates women

he hates women so fucking much. g-d, does steven moffat ever hate women. holy shit, he hates women. especially normal human women who prioritize their normal human lives on an equal or higher level than the doctor. moffat hated rose bc she wasnt special by his standards. the empty child/the doctor dances is the nicest he ever treated her, and she really didnt do much in those eps beyond a fuck ton of flirting.

girl in the fireplace is another shining example of this. youve got rose (who once again has another man to keep her busy, bc moffat doesnt think shes good enough for the doctor) sidelined for no reason only to be saved by the doctor at the last second or whatever. and then youve got reinette, who is pretty and powerful and special!

its just. moffat thinks that the doctor is as shallow and selfish as he is. thats why he thinks the doctor would stay in one place with reinette and not with rose. bc moffat is shallow and sees himself in the doctor and doesnt think he should have to settle for someone boring and normal.

not to mention rose met the doctor as an adult and chose to stay with him whereas reinette is. hm. introduced to the doctor as a child and grows up obsessed with him.

does that sound familiar? it should! bc it is also true of amy and river. and all of them are treated as viable romantic pairings. bc the only women who deserve the doctor are the ones whose entire existence revolves around him. which includes clara as well.

genuinely i think that at least on some level, not even necessarily consciously, that bill was a lesbian in part bc capaldi was too old to appeal to mainstream shippers. like twelve/clara is still a thing but not as universally appealing as eleven/clara but i am just spitballing. but i think they weighed the pros and cons of appealing to the woke crowd over the het shippers and found that gay companion was more profitable. anyway the point is to segue into the next point, which is that moffat hates permanent consequences.

moffat hates permanent consequences

steven moffat does not know how to kill a character. honestly it feels like hes doing it on purpose after a certain point, like he knows he has this habit and hes trying to riff on it to meme his own shit, but it doesnt work. it isnt funny and it isnt harmless, its bad writing.

the end of the doctor dances is so poignant and so meaningful and so fucking good bc its just this once! everybody lives, just this once! and then he does p much the same thing in forest of the dead - this one i could forgive, bc i do think that preserving those peoples consciousnesses did something for the doctor as a character, it wasnt completely meaningless. but everything after that kinda was.

rory died so many times its like. get a hobby lol. amy died at least once iirc but it was all a dream or something. clara died and was erased from the doctors memory. river was in prison and also died. bill? died. all of them sugarcoated or undone or ignored by the narrative to the point of having effectively no impact on the story. the point of a major character death is that its supposed to have a point. and you could argue that a piece of art could be making a point with a pointless death, ie. to put perspective on it and remind you that bad shit just happens, but with moffat the underlying message is always “i can do whatever i want, nothing is permanent or has lasting impact ever.”

basically, with moffat, tragedy exists to be undone. and this was a really brilliant, really wonderful thing in the doctor dances specifically bc it was the doctor clearly having seen his fair share of tragedy that couldnt be helped, now looking on his One Win with pride and delight bc he doesnt get wins like this! and then moffat proceeded to give him the same win over and over and over and over. nobody is ever dead. nobody is ever unable to be saved. and if they are, really truly dead and/or gone, then thats okay bc moffat has decided that [insert mitigating factor here]*

*the mitigating factor is usually some sort of computerized database of souls.

i can hear the moffat stans falling over themselves to remind me that amy and rory definitely died, and they did - after a long and happy life together, they died of old age. i dont consider that a character death any more than any other character choosing to permanently leave the tardis.

and its not just character deaths either, its like, everything. the destruction of gallifrey? never mind lol! character development? scrapped! the same episode four times? lets give it a fifth try and hope nobody notices. bc he doesnt know how to not make the doctor either an omnipotent savior or a self-pitying failure.

it is in nature of doctor who, i believe, for the doctor to win most of the time. like, it wouldnt be a very good show if he didnt win most of the time. but it also wouldnt be a very good show if he won all of the time. my point is that moffats doctor wins too often, and when he doesnt win, it feels empty and hollow rather than genuinely humbling, and you know hes not gonna grow from it pretty much at all.

so like. again, i like all of doctor who i enjoy all of it very much. i just think that steven moffat is a bad show runner and a decent writer at times. and it is frustrating. and im not here to convince or convert anyone im just living my truth. thank you for listening.

#sorry if this is repetitive or makes no sense or if i got some details of the show wrong #i simply couldnt be bothered to put too much effort into this post #lest it become a research paper and take me several weeks to answer #anyway thats all my opinions #dw #ok to rb

[meetmeatthecoda]

Do you think the show would turn out to be better if they chose not to write in Megan's pregnancy – i. e. if they didn't create Agnes – or worse?

I'm asking this not because I don't like Agnes – I adore this smart little girl as much as Pinky does – but because I'd like to know your opinion as a writer about how her nonexistence would've changed the show plot-wise.

Ahhh, anon 😅 What an excellent, thought-provoking question, though I'm afraid you're definitely opening a can of worms by asking me!! 😂 (I'm also very flattered that you're interested in my opinion as a "writer" bc I'm certainly not qualified or a professional by any means - my degrees are in music, not English or Literature LOL - but I very much appreciate the compliment & will of course share my opinion since you asked!! 🥰) So... my answer in short? YES, I THINK HER NONEXISTENCE WOULD HAVE CHANGED THE SHOW DRASTICALLY. To be clear, I like her too, she's a sweet little kid who did nothing wrong, ofc!! BUT I don't think she should have been written in at all. After all the drama in the pilot about Liz wanting to adopt a child like she was adopted (kind of) - even if it was with T*m - was a very defining aspect of her character!! I mean, I know things can change obviously, but let's be real, they only wrote it in bc Megan was pregnant WHICH OF COURSE SHE HAS EVERY RIGHT TO BE!! I just remember them making a big deal about being able to "hide" a pregnancy in a show, as tons of shows have done it before!!

Seriously, they don't always have to include it in the writing. It's a part of life & EVERY actress should have the freedom & choice to have a family without sacrificing or compromising the integrity of her work - after all, men don't have to worry about that!! Sorry, that's my feminist side coming out a little LOL that's besides the point.

BUT I also think the WAY they went about including & introducing the story line was awful (but what else could we expect from TPTB, who we know to be borderline misogynistic & unable to respectfully write female characters lol) what with Liz discovering she was pregnant by being beaten up in a dark parking lot & all. Super classy. BUT - in addition to all that & to actually answer your goddamn question, jfc, I'm sorry - yes, I think the show would have turned out much better, or at least very different!! While Agnes as a plot device can't be blamed for every single instance of bad writing by TPTB (& there's a hell of a lot lmfao) I think there's a lot her nonexistence would have prevented. Let's examine, shall we?? If they hadn't written in the pregnancy, they probably wouldn't have written Liz sleeping with T*m on his stupid fucking boat (when Agnes was supposedly conceived 🤨) & she probably wouldn't have re-married the cockroach at all. NOT TO MENTION there probably wouldn't have been any marketable & inexplicable change in Red & Liz's relationship after 3A when she was released from prison AND we wouldn't have gone down the Slippery Slope of Doom to Hell... 😭 Granted that's all speculation but idk, I think it stands to reason 😓 I mean, I hold Agnesgate near & dear to my heart, for sure, & she is the reason we've been gifted with so much lovely papa!Red content but... we do have to wonder how things would have gone had she never been written, especially given that she's usually pushed off with a nanny or babysitter 98% of the time anyway, only serving to make Liz appear a horrible mother & help to decimate her character even more 😞 Sooooo, anon, there's my two cents for you, I hope that wasn't too boring to slog through LOL 😁 Anyway, thank you again for sending this along, anon, I'm flattered you were interested in my opinion!! 🥰 Much love to you, my friend!! ❤️

P.S. None of this is to say to - had they not included Agnes - Liz should NEVER have had or adopted a baby. Not at all. I think a properly timed pregnancy (for the character) or adoption - when some conflicts in the mythology had been resolved & Liz was in a better place - would have been a lovely addition to the show & her character... especially if it was a Lizzington baby 🥲

#The Blacklist #Lizzington #Agnesgate #sort of #thoughts #theories #speculation #headcanons #mine #ask #anon #great question anon!! #thank you for asking!! #:) #much love to you!! #<3

[percyinpanties]

hey I'm the pipeyna anon and that's ok!!! can u do pipeyna with piper pining after hot jock Reyna which hopefully ends happy (smutty)

just a quick warm-up, i say, i won’t spend too much time on this. i really had to resist just going on and on and on with this. i miss writing this ship, damn.

anyway - this fits really well with an enemy to lovers prompt i have for jercy, so thats what im hinting at too here.

Read on Ao3

for context : i always write college aus from a UK uni perspective bc that’s all i know and i don’t care to adapt to how it might or might not work in the u.s. (sorry)

rating: teen+ (no smut in this one, but let me tell you, this TEMPTED me)

words: 2.2k 

___

“An actual goddess” Piper says wistfully from where she’s leaning against the wall next to Percy, taking back the cigarette she’d just bummed of him. Her eyes are glued on the field, and more precisely on Reyna, smile on her face and water bottle in her hand as she jogs over to Jason standing at the side of the field. They greet each other with a hug, even as Reyna wrinkles her face, seemingly complaining about her own sweatiness.

It’s coincidence that the end of Reyna’s soccer practice collides conveniently with Piper’s and Percy’s late seminar on Mondays. It isn’t coincidence that Percy and her have taken to sharing a cigarette on the side of the building that looks out toward the field during their break, however.

 Percy makes a non-committal noise and his eyes follow Piper’s gaze while she takes a drag of the cigarette and wrinkles her nose. She needs to quit smoking for good, she thinks, and flicks the ash to the ground. There was a brief moment in first year when Piper thought that Percy might be interested in Reyna, or she in him, but luckily, nothing ever came of that.

 “You think they’re dating?” Percy asks, arms crossed over his chest now, making no move to take the cigarette back again. He’s not even pretending not to be staring, his eyes intense where they flit between Reyna and Jason. Piper on the other hand has the common decency to at least cast her eyes away every now and again before she’s caught looking for a little too long.

At the edge of the field, Reyna and Jason are standing close together now, chatting about god knows what, smiling and laughing. They’re certainly comfortable with each other, but Piper can’t say that’s much of an indication given how she’s around Percy.

 “I hope not.” Piper mutters and Percy laughs at that, even though she knows he agrees. Percy wouldn’t admit it in a million years, but Piper would bet real money that he has a thing for Jason, too, as much as he claims to hate the guy. She’d have to be deaf and blind not to notice the tension between them.

It would make sense, though, in a way. Jason is captain of the men’s rugby team, Reyna of the women’s soccer team. Some of their practices collide and the two clubs do most of their weekly socials together, and Piper’s seen the two of them hanging out aside from that plenty as well. Reyna and her haven’t talked much about Jason, maybe because Piper hasn’t actually exchanged more than five words with him and never had much of an urge to change that, but she knows that Reyna and Jason have known each other before university.

Around Jason, Reyna seems to let her guard down, something Piper has only managed to achieve a handful of times since they met during their first year.

 Jason laughs at something Reyna says, eyes bright and head thrown back and Piper can’t deny that he’s handsome, at the very least. He’s fairly decent, too, as far as guys go, and really, Piper knows she shouldn’t be hoping that there is nothing between Reyna and him if that is what would make Reyna happy.

 “Invite her to the party.” Percy suggests then, drawing Piper’s attention back from the tangent her brain was so insistent to start on. When Piper turns her face to look at him, he’s already looking back at her, one eyebrow arched. “I was going to, anyway, but it’s different coming from you yourself.”

 He’s not teasing her, it’s an honest suggestion, and technically not even a bad one. It’s Percy’s birthday this weekend, and if nothing else, it would be a good excuse to hang out again. Percy knows a ton of people, but he usually doesn’t invite too many to his party, so with any luck, it won’t be too crowded to actually spend some time with Reyna.

More than that, though, it’s another opportunity for Piper to finally get a move on. Percy, Piper knows, thinks that Piper’s pining had reached a point where it’s almost comical halfway through last year, but even so, Piper has yet to manage to actually act on her feelings.

A party is casual enough that she can always play it off as nothing serious when it ends up blowing up in her face. Piper might finally get over herself and just ask Reyna out already – although she’s tried that a few times before only to find herself tongue tied and staring at Reyna like she hung the moon in the sky. She’s been head over heels for Reyna since maybe three weeks after they met in first year, and now that they’re starting their third and final year, Piper needs to get a move on or it’ll simply be too late. Granted, she’s scared shitless at the prospect of being turned down, but at this point, even that would be better than pining forever and never finding out if she’d even stand a chance.

 “Yeah… maybe.” Piper says finally, and manages a small smile towards Percy who bumps his shoulder against hers playfully. They should be heading back inside, so Piper sneaks a last glance toward Reyna and this time, finds her looking back.

    They don’t share any classes this year, and Piper doesn’t usually run into Reyna on campus, so on Wednesday morning, she ends up texting Reyna on her way to class. She fumbles with her phone, almost tripping over her own two feet trying to type the words out as fast as possible, and ends up having to sidestep off the path to actually send the texts.

 Hey you.

we’re having a party on Saturday, it’s Percy’s birthday.

 Piper wants to add more, but instead, she bites her lip and stuffs her phone back into the pocket of her jeans. It’s almost an open invitation like this already anyway, and Piper wants to gauge Reyna’s first reaction before deciding exactly how she’s going about asking. Technically, it would be so easy to just as Reyna to go with her, specifically, to the party, but the intention might be lost over text and anyway, wouldn’t it be simpler to just invite her generally?

Piper frets throughout the entirety of her first lecture, and most of the second one, for nothing. Reyna doesn’t answer, even though the messenger app shows Piper that she’s read both texts already, and Piper tries not to be disappointed about it. She doesn’t know what Reyna’s schedule is like today, the girl might just be busy and planned on replying later. It makes sense, much more than Piper’s second thought that Reyna is not answering because Piper is annoying and Reyna doesn’t actually want to spend any time with her. She knows that thought is stupid, knowing that however does nothing to ease the anxious knot in Piper’s stomach.

 Piper finds herself checking her phone more often than not. It would be funny if it wasn’t so ridiculous, and if the lecturer wasn’t so clearly catching on that Piper isn’t paying as much attention to the class as she is to her phone. She texts Percy as well, but she knows he’s in that seminar he shares with Jason, so chances are that she won’t be getting a reply on that end anytime soon either.  In the end, she has to force herself to put her phone away and actually focus on the lecture up front, even though by that point, she is already lost as to what they’re even talking about in the first place. It’s no good, and Piper can’t deny being relieved when the lecturer eventually dismisses the class.

 She doesn’t allow herself to check her messages until she’s across campus in the coffee shop, queuing for some much needed caffeine and fishing out her phone so she doesn’t have to make small talk with anyone while she waits in line. Reyna still hasn’t replied, but at least Percy has messaged her after his seminar.

 I’m gonna strangle him, Piper. You’ll have to bust me out of prison because they are going to arrest me for goddamn murder.

 All she’d asked was if his classes were as boring as hers today, and while she had expected Percy to go off about Jason in reply, this isn’t exactly what she’d thought to be reading today. She smiles at her phone, types out a quick reply and moves up in the queue.

 That bad? What’s he done now?

 The way Percy talks about Jason makes Piper think of a Cartoon Network villain, always plotting, provoking and scheming. The few times she’s spoken to Jason, the guy wasn’t half bad, and if Piper is honest, she doesn’t quite get the vendetta these two have with each other. She suspects though that it has something to do with how ‘infuriatingly attractive, like fucking superman or something’ Percy described Jason after their first class together.

 It’s like he thinks I’m stupid or something. Got a dumb fucking project to do together and he honestly told me that he ‘needs to pass this class so iif I’m not planning to put in the work, we might as well ask for new partners right away’

Like, excuse me, bitch? My grades are better than yours, for one thing

And for another, it’s not like good-old Dodds is gonna let us switch anyway

 Piper huffs audibly while she reads the texts. It’s clear Percy’s actually upset by this, and she figures it will only get worse if they actually have to do the work together in the coming weeks. Before she can shoot Percy a reply though, she’s next in line.

Piper orders her coffee, steps aside to wait once she’s paid, and rereads Percy’s texts before she types her reply to Percy.

 Sounds like a dick move.

 Piper’s almost inclined to defend Jason for a moment, since Percy mostly doesn’t pay much attention in class, especially in Mrs. Dodds seminars – so how is Jason meant to know how much effort Percy puts in outside of it? On the other hand, though, Piper knows how Percy is, and how personally he’s clearly taken Jason’s comment already, so trying to convince him otherwise would simply be fruitless.

Once Piper’s coffee is done, she heads back outside, finding an empty bench to enjoy the break before her next class. If nothing else, at least Percy’s ranting is distracting her from Reyna, and the party, and asking the other girl out – and in between the rapid texts Percy and her are sending back and forth Piper almost forgets about it entirely. Until she has to head back to her last class, that is, and sees that Reyna has, so far, still left her on read.

 Piper hesitates for a moment, clicking on the text field without typing anything just yet. Is she going to come off as desperate if she texts again, or should she just clarify now before it gets too late and Reyna already makes different plans for the weekend?

Piper types out a few words, deletes them again and pockets her phone only to get it back out a few seconds later to try again. She shouldn’t be walking and texting, especially given that she should be going faster to actually make it to her lecture in time, but Piper knows that if she doesn’t send this text now, she’ll spend another lecture agonising over what to say.

 So yeah, I wanted to invite you too ofc :)

 Piper cringes at her wording, but figuring it won’t get much better, she sends the text anyway and finally tucks her phone back into her pocket to actually hurry to class.

   By the time Reyna replies, it’s late and Piper is sitting on the beat-up couch in her shared flat’s living room, watching something trashy on TV without really paying much attention at all. Percy is clanking around in the kitchen, making something that smells good enough to remind Piper that she should probably be getting herself some food, too. She’s about to get up and rummage through her fridge compartment in search of something edible when her lock screen lights up with a message from Reyna, and that derails any thoughts of food immediately. Piper isn’t subtle in the way she practically lunges for her phone, but luckily, Percy can’t see and judge her from his position in the kitchen.

 Sorry, long day, reads the first text, following a few seconds later by another one.

Promised Jason to hang out but I’d love to :(

 Piper bites her lip, knowing before typing out the words that Percy won’t like what she’s doing in the slightest.

 You could bring him? Percy won’t mind.

 Except that Percy most certainly will mind, Piper thinks, and grimaces. If she hadn’t come off as desperate before, she most certainly does now – texting back within less than a minute after having been left on read all day, only to offer that Reyna can bring her friend (boyfriend?) along as well if that means she’ll be there.

There’ll be other opportunities, Piper tells herself, and scrubs a hand over her face. She needs to chill, and maybe she needs to grab a cigarette and step outside and calm down before she embarrasses herself even further.

 Piper stares at the screen. How on earth is she meant to interpret this? At this rate, she won’t make it until Saturday, dying of one crisis or another before then.

 if you’re sure? I’ll ask him.

haven’t seen you in a while, would be nice to hang out again ;)

 I’m sure.

#will i continue this? maybe #i do kinda wanna write the party part and have it ending ~spicy~ #pipeyna #piper mclean #reyna ramirez avila arellano #my stuff #my fic #prompts #teen+ #pjo #Anonymous #jercy #in the bg

[embrassemoi]

(1/5) Ugh walburga and orion... can someone send them to azkaban or maybe hex them? Or, i don't know, punch them in the face muggle way? Admittedly, I always imagined that they would be softer towards regulus, bc of the way sirius talk about them in the ootp but I actually liked this interpretation, where things became diffrent for regulus after he became the heir of the family. I like reading about him, we already know he will become a deatheater but I can't wait to see how and why he will go

Whenever I think about Regulus' home life, I 100% believe that Regulus is the golden child. Orion and Walburga love him, but they won't hesitate to do things to keep him 'in line' whenever they feel like he's not listening or 'losing' focus. He's held to an incredibly high standard now that Sirius is gone, I think that perpetuates a lot of wrath from his parents If he ever disagreed with them. But yeah, I think they're soft for him too.

(2/5) down that path? Is it because he belives in blood purity (he is friends with mc but snape was friends with lily and we all know what happend), is it because his family forces him to? His friendship with mc is an interesting one as well and now that mc knows about his family's stance on blood purity, I'm wondering what this will mean for them. I kinda agree with james on his warning. Also james asking regulus to move in with them and refusing to reveal sirius' secrets even though they are

(3/5) no longer friends was great. I think prankster james is great but seeing his more serious side during time of hardships adds a whole new layer to him and you can see how he will go from idiot teenager to great man everybody talks about in the books. Okay moving on, Sirius' situation broke my heart again. I know they have every right to be mad at him but... ugh I can't help it. Part of me wants them to make up immediately since they will die/go to prison/live as a rat/live in isolation in a

James' arch is happening! Ngl, it's been tricky planning and writing how he's going to change but I think so far it’s working out so I’m not worried.

LMFAO I FEEL SO BAD FOR SIRIUS. I'm torturing that poor man.

(4/5) couple of years. I just want them to be happy while they can. Speaking of fighting, lily!!! I know she feels heartbroken but also I feel so sorry for mc, she thinks she lost a friend and even compared their situation to her mother isolating her (in the previous chapter). I know it's hard for her now but I'm pretty sure she will be happy when she is in a loving relationship with james while mc, sirius and remus suffer in an angsty love triangle (evil laughter). Also what's going on with

I've stated this before so don't consider it a spoiler, but yeah. James and Lily will end up together no matter what. I know a lot of my readers are kind of iffy about her feelings towards the MC (because they want Jily) but since I wrote her as a bisexual/unlabelled women, I want to explore that a bit before she's with James. She's just a young teenager with feelings for someone else that isn't returned. Everyone goes through it and in Lily's case, it's hitting harder because the MC is not only one of her best friends, they share the same dorm, always around each other, but she's also a girl! It would be scary as fuck! she may not even feel valid in her sexuality!

And I was trying to write in mind that Lily and MC are still clearly friends but the MC is kinda just done at the moment. She's just confused, angry because well, didn't they just go through something similar a couple months ago? But this time, there's ‘seemingly’ no reason as to why Lily’s acting the way she it.

And omg... you don't understand how exciting I am to write the angst between Remus and Sirius over the MC. PLEASE, I WANT THE ROMANCE TO HAPPEN NOW! ANGST NOW PLEASE!

(5/5) Marlene? Why did she sounded jealous when she was talking about how lily and mc are inseparable. Did she have a crush on lily before? In an earlier chapter she looked hurt after lily moved towards mc when marlene tried to wake her up. Or maybe she feels like mc stole her friend? I don't think she had feelings for mc bc she encouraged her to go after sirius (but lily did a similar thing too). But still, I love her and dorcas together and also how marlene is a sister for younger students -🌸

also, not a spoiler: Marlene does not have feelings for the MC or Lily. her actions will be explained at a later time. Probably sometime soon.

And ugh her and dorcas :D and Marlene having a soft spot for children! like I also imagined Marlene to be like a mixture of James, Sirius and can be 'mean' sometimes but she's a softie around kids.

#🌸 anon #thank you so much for sending #btw I don't want it to seem like I'm always expecting an ask from you. I understand that it can be a lot especially if ur day was tiring #but I always look forward to reading them! so don't take that the wrong way! #I just dont want to accidentally pressure you haha! #sbtmas ask #📨 inbox

[one-abuse-survivor]

Tired is when you're sick of life, or feel weighed down by the stuff around you. Sleepy is when you want to go to bed. That's how me and my friend do it, anyhow. At this point, I'm fucking exhausted to the point where I feel too tired to let it out but im gonna anyways. There's bits in here that I can't tell my friend, or anyone, so i'm hoping bc this is anonymous i can let it out. Right, intro done lol. Onto the story. Last night, i have no idea what time, maybe five or six, (all i know is this

thing ended at 7pm), my mom storms out of the room and comes back holding a bottle of water and her bag. She proceeds to tell my dad she found the bottle at the bottom of my bed, (basically im not supposed to have anything at the bottom of my bead bc asian tradition believes that youre on top of it and thats dirty or whatever). Then she pulls out my school photo, puts it on the table and tells my dad to look at it. Starts ranting about how I never listen, i look horrible, worst photo i've ever taken. 

Basically, I go to a private school, and they think I should look good, and then they spent some time lecturing me about how i was supposed to look right when i was in the school, I look like a boy, i act like a boy, my hair's a mop, I look like a hooligan. Start talking about when i dress to go to school, how my shoes aren't polished and one of them has laces that show the white inner. How my hair's messy at the back, if i saw someone in jeans and someone in a suit in the street, who would i think was respectful? They told me they shouldn't have let me into the school, they loved me too much, that's why, they should have let me go to this public school that has a reputation for being a mess, that i belong there, waste of money, they regret letting me go here, thought i was a respectable girl. 

Dad asked me again, who wouldd i think was respectful, the jeans or the suit, and I told him I don't know. We'll get to that later, but at that moment he sneered and snorted and looked at my mom. 'says she doesnt know' he jeers. I'd meant it as in 'i have no idea, please help me'. He took it as 'she doesn't know, and doesn't give a fuck'. I don't know how to look proper. they never taught me. they tell me that something looks good so i wear it. mom still buys my clothes for me. I have no fucking clue what looks proper and what doesn't. 

Anyways, somehow they moved onto uni, and my current work, and how I pull all-nighters and how dad thought i was smart but nopw he has no hope, how he sees me get up in the morning and know i'm going to fail the assessment, how i get distracted, how i take too long to shower, how i never learn, how i never help them around the house, they do everything for me and if he was in my shoes then he would work until 'smoke came out' (vietnamese saying), how he would be so grateful but i'm not and they're going to leave me (which is a normal threat for them lol) and how they're going to die (another normal threat, dad has a lifelong illness and mom has been struggling with leukaemia for years) and they're not going to pay for uni if i get a stupid degree, only if i get a good degree like they want which will actually help me (law), if i want to become an engineer (something im considering) then i can pay for it myself, then again it's not like i'm even going to get into uni, when they look at me, they have to think of the girl i was when i was five because if they think about me now they feel sad, they won't look at me because I make them sad, they had so much hope for me, now down the drain, no, down to the sewers, look at my cousins going out, one of them had piercings and infections and almost got tattoos and is a nurse in a prison with a husband who stressed her out so much she passed out at work, do i want that, that's what i will get if i dont work, basd job, assisstants have to buy pads for their bosses, horrible child, this will end one of two ways, one i listen to them and come back years later to thank them or i'll look up at the stars and wish that i'd listened to them and they regret having me and caring for me, if only they'd been better parents, they'd been too lenient, but i don't care do i because if i cared it'd show in my working to please them and i haven't done that so that means i don;t care about them.

Dad told me it was too late to change, then switches to tell me it's not too late, they ramble on about my internet use, (i have to ask them for internet) and i'm not acutlalyu doping work on it, i'm just fucking around, they kjnow, they know, i can lie all i want nbut it's true. Horrible child, they'll die, they'll die, That's the end of the conversation, we're not going to talk about it anymore. No, stop talking. I'm going to tell you this until i die. I'm going to keep saying it, beccause it's better that i say it and you not listen than i dont say it and regret not saying it. (okay, i can;t currently remember anything else of what they said lol.). By the way, you wanna know abt

[asks didn’t arrive and I asked for the last bit again]

ok lets hope to god this sends then. i think i know where i was up to - 'do you want to know about what was wrong with the photo' i think was meant to be that. anyways, yeah. guess what was wrong with it. i had a fucking splinge. like my hair was parted and a bit of the part was split. that's all i can see that's wrong with it. maybe my hair looked oily? idk but that's all i noticed. also said something after that about do u remember when dad asked me abt who did i think looked better the suit.

also can i add something i just remembered which is that one of them put folders on my shelf and mom told me she knew i put them there to hide what i was looking at on my laptop from her when i??? didnt??? put them??? there??? in the first place???? (the layout of my room allows the folders to block the view of someone from the door basically) i put new folders there after i think my dad put them there but i didnt originally put them there??? sorry it was a full ask rant and i have no idea what the freak i typed and what i didnt lol. but u get the gist i think. big fat lecture.

i am tired. my eyes were puffy and there was like this pool of snot floating on top of this pool of tears if you did get the ask sorry u had to read that twice. :(. i mean even tho u didnt see it i was able to let it all out. not sure if it made me feel better about anything but being able to do it at all is rlly nice. Thank you for that.

-----

No wonder you’re tired, nonnie... I’m really glad you could get all of this off your chest, and really sorry that you have to hear those awful things about yourself coming from your parents.

I’m a white European, so I don’t share many of your experiences and I don’t know how it is to live in a Vietnamese family, but I hope it’s okay to compare it a little bit with my experiences in my (very Christian) family--if not, you can absolutely skip the next paragraph! 

I have had a bunch of conversations with my therapist about traditions, religion, and misogyny, because since I cut my mother off, my grandfather has lectured me many times about how I am a bad daughter for looking out for myself and putting my life first instead of being devoted to my mother’s wants and needs. He told me that she’s sick and I’m horrible for not caring about that and abandoning her, and that if she doesn’t love me, I just have to work harder until I "crack her walls”. (As if I haven’t tried already, and as if she didn’t use her very mental illness as an excuse to abuse me). My therapist basically told me that sometimes, being the Disney villain in some people’s stories means you’re doing something right, because their vision of what’s right and what’s wrong (especially when it comes to daughters and women in general) is designed to hurt you, to make you put your family before yourself. That it’s never wrong to put yourself and your needs first, and that kids don’t owe their parents anything just because the parents brought them into this world--that was the parents’ choice, not the kid’s, and therefore it’s the parents’ responsibility to care for their kid, whoever that kid turns out to be; and not the kid’s responsibility to be the model child that the parents had in mind or to care for them.

Your parents belittling you for things you have little to no control over and accusing you of being responsible for their future deaths, for not knowing things that haven’t been explained to you, for not living up to their expectations without even giving you a chance to try, and for not “working for them as hard as they would in your place”, are all red flags of emotional abuse. Accusing you of things you don’t do and constantly drilling into your mind that they “know” you’re a horrible person who doesn’t want to learn or change is a red flag too, and probably an excuse to take the guilt off their shoulders for not taking the time to guide you in life and to explain anything to you before accusing you of not knowing it already. “It’s too late” puts the blame on you, but what it actually means is probably something along the lines of “It’s easier to scream at you than to put realistic expectations on you and then help you achieve them while respecting your boundaries and allowing you to make mistakes, but I don’t want to feel guilty about it, so let’s pretend you’re a lost cause, yeah?”

I used to go to a private school too, and my mother repeatedly told me that was the reason she struggled economically and that I had ruined her life. It wasn’t until I talked about it in therapy that I realised that I never had a choice in what school I went to. Same as I never had a choice in anything my mother decided for me. So how could I be to blame for the consequences of those decisions? And how can you? If they buy you certain clothes, then they have no right to criticise how you look in them. If they chose to put you in a private school, then the money spent is on them, not you. You shouldn’t have to “prove” you’re worth their decisions for you or their basic care for you--they chose to give you that unconditionally the moment they decided to have you in the first place, and if they refuse to give it or threaten to take it away, it’s becuase they’re neglectful and/or abusive, not because something intrinsic about you justifies it. You’re not a bad kid; you’re just a normal kid with very bad parents. And I’m really sorry that you have to put up with them. You deserve better 😔

I’m here if you need to vent again in the future, nonnie. Sending a virtual hug ❤

#Anonymous #Vent #Ask #Abuse tw #Abuse #Abusive parents #Emotional abuse #Long post #Threats #Guilt tripping #guilt tripping tw #Threats tw #therapy mention #christianity mention #neglect mention #(I'm nonbinary btw but it's not like my grandfather knows or would care 🙃)