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blysse-and-blunder · 3 months

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in lieu of a commonplace book

saturday, jan 27, 2024

*brennan lee mulligan voice* heeeeeeeelllllllllllllloooooooOOOOOOOOO one and all and welcome back for another thrilling episode of...whatever this is. thank you for being here.

It's 2024! Say hi, intrepid heroes!

reading recently finished:

-orwell's roses by rebecca solnit (audio) - glad I listened, ultimately very gratifying - history, criticism, extremely lush garden-filled prose and love for growing things - nona the ninth by tamsyn muir - felt so much about [redacted] it made me cry. i can unblock ALL THE TAGS NOW - the blue sword by robin mckinley (audio) - catching up on old school fantasy continues -when the angels left the old country by sacha lamb (audio) - beautiful. not not in conversation with good omens but doing something different.

recently begun: -the ministry of the future by kim stanley robinson - can't decide if it's a scifi novel or a policy brief about ways to combat climate change- reading on my mom's recommendation -babel: an arcane history by r.f.kuang - withholding judgment, but i know you probably want me to hate it and so far i don't, really! to my own surprise -the shadow of the wind by carlos ruiz zafrón (audio) - spooky, post-modern but incredibly good at sounding like it is of the time it depicts. many thoughts on the audio book narrator's accent work, most favorable -one corpse too many by ellis peters. wild that i have only just begun reading the cadfael mysteries

listening last week was about discovering and putting on continuous loop the group trousdale on the recommendation of @m2pixie (!) and other trusted friends; the energy, the harmonies! they fill a girl group void i didn't realize i had, it feels like the best kind of throwback, like old chicks or something, some desperately needed bops. exhibit a: bad blood.

today my daylist introduced me to joy oladokun and i'm so glad it did. love her vibe, love this cover art. had to take a picture of my desk, the visuals were so satisfying.

watching the newest series of netflix's lupin!! so far i'm really, really enjoying where this season has been spending most of its time-- the new characters, the new heists, the new stakes. especially fun to watch with friends where we can all shout about the mrs doubtfire of it all, the betrayals, the misdirection, the 'he can't keep getting away with this!.' the original lupin series will always bring back memories of watching it in early lockdown; i'm glad that there's this now to think about and remember instead.

playing hollow knight hollow knight hollow kniiiiiiight. bought it a few months ago when it was on sale, after hanging out and watching @dimir-charmer stream for us a bit, but playing it yourself is a different game. i'm having a blast. it's becoming a problem. i'm having to be so so good and mature in how much i let myself just get suckered in to a full day spent in my little buggy maze adventures. the temptation to keep going until i've made a meaningful advancement of some kind (today: got the longer nail! last time: beat hornet! saved zote the mighty, got the baldur shell charm, and beat the gruz mother!) is very, very real. have also gotten around this by listening to lots of lo-fi hollow knight beats to relax and study to while being 'productive.'

(found this screenshot online, and holy extra health batman)

making pancakes. lots and lots of weekend pancakes. sent a bunch of mail since new year's, and have some new arts and crafts (charcoal pencils!! those little paper cone blender guys! better paper) to fuck around with next time i want to get ~artistic. watch this space.

working on teaching is so all-consuming. it's great, i love it. the course (maps class! if you see that tag, this is that) is going well, i think! first three lectures down. the students i've gotten to know i really like, the material has yet to get old (see one - do one - teach one is so real. i understand this class now, finally, in a way i don't think i did just being the TA, even after three times). it takes so much longer to just copy-paste-change color and font on slides than it should! i've regularly been getting four-five hours of sleep on monday nights before teaching on tuesdays, but it has meant that i don't have the brain space to be self-conscious while i'm 'on', i just. go. having fun selecting teaching 'fits, having (less) fun handling all the students who joined in the second or third week and need help with catching up, but it's not their fault there was a waiting list and lots of turnover.

(petrus roselli - portolan chart of the mediterranean, 1466)

non-teaching: - student letter of recommendation for dental school (DONE) - conference panel proposal (due 1/31) -submit revised conference paper for that prize (due 1/30) -send draft of grant application to A for her to be able to write a letter of recommendation (due IMMEDIATELY WHY ARE YOU ON TUMBLR) (you have until 2/15 to fix it but she needs the draft!) -chapter 3 edits (lmao) -read for that other course you're meant to be the TA for (oops) - give i. feedback on her thing (tonight) -RAship hours (c'mon these are actually paid work, please do them)

#in lieu of a commonplace book #phone didn’t autocomplete that tag which just proves it’s been a MINUTE #ilcb #weekly roundup #Spotify

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dr-jem-nutcase · 1 year

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MvA: The M Files take-a-peek pt. 2

Just realized yesterday that I misspelled peek. Or rather, used another word that had the sound pronunciation. Way to go, Dr. Nutcase.

Chapter 2

Wow! Link can walk on water!

I'm guessing that the illustrator had a hard time going back & forth between Link having human feet or ape feet

So Link gave his side of the coin for his origin story

I'm not all knowledgeable with what species were around at the start of the Ice Age (aside from some of the animals & whatnot in the Ice Age cartoons lol), let alone all the exact details of evolution, but this "link" between prehistoric humanity & aquatic ancestry is a bit of a mind boggler. I think Link's species would come from the 20 million years ago range, not 20K years range

My biggest question: where'd he get that straw?

And Link just slept through that? That insatiable curiosity must've worn him out

Omg!! I almost had a heart attack! I thought his tail broke off! False alarm

"Morty" - no comment

Wandering paleontologists? Kyrie Eleison upon those dummies...*face palm*

Also, disappointed with the sleeping pose instead of...you know, what we saw in the movie

Sandwiches in a lab. No. GRAY sandwiches. No. And mayo is a much different flavor and is inferior to mustard. That's a definite No

"Some fool". More like some FOOLS--plural! They were all there with those buckets. They may or may not have known what they were getting themselves into. Or they must've been too distracted by those gray sandwiches

Somehow, Link was already fluent in modern English, slang and all

The old guy, lol 😯

In reality, Link must've been like "WTH IS THIS?!?" not this "what's a monster?" borderline derp. This was a totally different world from the pre-Ice Age world he came from. If I woke up after a deep 20K year long sleep to find my home filled with an unknown species of creatures, I'd probably go on a rampage too

Requesting cold cuts and mustard in an emergency call. Almost reminds me of a story of someone calling 911 in 2020 because they ran out of toilet paper during lockdown

Link, you son of a gun you

But centuries? Really? Dude, you just thought you took a little nap. Or...were you already a few centuries old when you were frozen? Oooooh...

I just noticed that at least two ladies are bald with a patch of hair dangling from their heads

So much for that rampage. Or the fending off coeds & the National Guard and the Coast Guard...and also the life guard. Again, this is a kids' book

Wow, that wild array of weapons. I'm surprised a slingshot didn't make it in this

Disappointment right here. Again, kids' book

That's one tight squeeze. Is one of Link's abilities the ability to fit into/through small spaces? Also, he fell for that offer of "help"?

I don't think ice cream trucks like that existed in the 50s/early 60s. It was these dingy little freezers on wheels, if anything

So, they're just gonna freeze Link again? Poor guy

Private Monger. In the movie, he said he captured monsters over the course of 50 years, but he didn't say if he was large & in charge for the entirety of those 50 years. But Monger must've been a total jerk in his younger years; I mean, he ran over Link with his jeep later on in BBB

Come to think of it, Link was the only one of the 5 monsters that wasn't the result of an accident/coincidence/whatever. He was just already there, and it makes no sense that he's labeled a monster. He's a prehistoric part of evolution, not a freak of nature. But he's also a parody of Creature From the Black Lagoon, which is considered a monster movie, so...my argument's gonna stop right here

Until then!

#monsters vs aliens #mva #dreamworks #general monger #general w r monger #the missing link monsters vs aliens #the missing link #mva the m files #kidsbooks

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mostlysignssomeportents · 2 years

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After inflation, the whip-crack

There’s a school of economics that likens the economy to a computer, one that we all power. Every time we buy something — or walk away from an offer — we feed data to the computer, which transmits this price- and demand-information from consumers to producers to financiers, so that demand can be met with supply.

The proponents of this theory admit that this “computer” produces a lot of waste as it buds off different solutions — new businesses, products and services — and then prunes away the ones that fail, but, they say, this waste is far less than the waste we’d experience if we shut the “computer” down and switched to a “planned economy.”

As Leigh Phillips and Michal Rozworski argue in their crucial, slim 2019 book “The People’s Republic of Walmart,” any large, complex economy tends toward high degrees of integration between firms, because the “computer” of the economy of buyers and sellers is balky, slow and often catastrophically unrealiable:

https://memex.craphound.com/2019/03/05/the-peoples-republic-of-walmart-how-late-stage-capitalism-gives-way-to-early-stage-fully-automated-luxury-communism/

Here’s one way that the economy-computer fails: the “bullwhip effect.” That’s when a retailer experiences a rush of sales for a product and sells out, and so places a bigger order. The distributor notices that their retailers are raising their orders, so they place a bigger order with the wholesaler. The wholesaler then boosts their order with the manufacturer, who places bigger orders with their material suppliers and so on:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bullwhip_effect

Just as the little wave at the start of a bullwhip turns into a succession of bigger waves, so that a simple twitch of the wrist can cause the tip of the whip to break the sound-barrier, so too can a transient increase in demand ripple up the supply chain, creating vast overproduction of goods.

This, in turn, leads to the other side of the bullwhip effect: a series of overcorrections that produces shortages. The retailer now has a shelf full of whatever their customers briefly wanted. But the surge is over, so those products just sit on the shelf. The retailer doesn’t just cut their order to the previous, normal level — they actually reduce their typical order, because they’re overstocked.

Once again, this effect ripples and expands through the supply chain. The distributor is oversupplied, so they cut orders to the wholesaler. The wholesaler cuts orders to the manufacturer. The manufacturer cancels its orders with its material suppliers — and now a bunch of miners or loggers get laid off.

This can actually destroy capacity. The airlines offered early retirement to all their senior pilots, cabin crew and planners during lockdown, and now they’re canceling hundreds of flights every day:

https://nypost.com/2022/06/26/airlines-got-50-billion-in-pandemic-relief-but-are-still-screwing-americans/

This is a disgusting ripoff, and the airlines could be handling it better, but they probably can’t lure all those employees out of retirement. The total American aviation capacity has been reduced, and it will take years to increase it.

In People’s Republic, Phillips and Rozworski describe how large capitalist firms operate a secret, behind-the-scenes planned economy. Monopolistic retailers like Walmart and Amazon don’t just place orders with large consumer packaged goods monopolists like Procter and Gamble and Unilever. These gigaretailers actually reach into the production schedules of their primary suppliers and schedule extra shifts of workers, increase the orders of material inputs, and so on. This is the only way to avoid the bullwhip effect and meet demand with supply without wild, capacity-destroying cycles of overshots and undershots.

This is basically a digital/cybernetic version of the Soviet planned economies, where different links in the supply chain explicitly coordinated with one another, not by making a series of bids and puts that transmitted supply and demand information, but by sending actual information about what they’d need and when. It’s a linear descendant of cybernetic projects like Salvador Allende’s Cybersyn, but controlled by unelected billionaire commissars instead of democratically accountable regulators and legislators:

https://jacobin.com/2015/04/allende-chile-beer-medina-cybersyn

As the aviation example shows, we are living through the bullwhip effect today. Writing in Freightwaves, Craig Fuller makes a compelling case that the inflation crisis could rapidly swing the other way, as slow-moving logistical chains and slow-circulating demand information leads to an oversupply:

https://www.freightwaves.com/news/the-supply-chain-bullwhip-is-doing-the-feds-job-on-inflation

Retail inventories are extremely high. Big box retailers’ warehouses are overflowing with “large discretionary categories, such as furniture and household goods.” Meanwhile, freight order have come to a screeching halt, as major retailers cancel their shipping reservations because that inventory isn’t moving.

The trucker shortage is over. The typical springtime surge in trucking demand was nowhere to be seen — instead, there was a decline in trucking demand.

Used car demand just experienced its biggest drop in two years. Prices are plummeting:

https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2022-04-07/we-just-got-the-biggest-monthly-drop-in-used-car-prices-since-april-2020

Same for lumber. Lumber commodity prices tanked 30% over the past month, (from $1,252 to $949 per thousand board feet).

Domestic intermodal freight (going from rail to truck or vice-versa) is slowing. Prices are dropping. We just hit an all-time low in intermodal freight rates — it’s 21% cheaper to ship intermodally than by truck.

Fuller: ‘Prices for freight will come down. Supply chain bottlenecks will ease. What were recently inventory shortages are now gluts, and will likely result in price discounts, not increases. This is a late-stage supply chain correction.”

Fuller says that this bullwhip cycle was exacerbated by shutdowns in China, and there is obvious truth to this, but I think it’s worth looking further back up the causal chain to understand inflation.

Recall that the capitalist planned economies of The People’s Republic of Walmart depend on monopolies — the reason Amazon and Walmart can reach into P&G and Unilever’s production systems is that they are all giant, industry-dominating firms who face little direct competition.

This is the same dynamic — monopolism — that allows big companies to exploit our fear of looming inflation to hike prices, something their CEOs actually boast about on their shareholder calls:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/02/02/its-the-economy-stupid/#overinflated

Monopolism — and its handmaiden, finacialization, which rewards firms for issuing debt and gambling on complex derivatives rather than making things — is also behind the dismantling of US industrial capacity and offshoring it to China, making the US economy dependent on the choices of CCP bosses half a world away.

https://pluralistic.net/2022/06/01/factories-to-condos-pipeline/#stuff-not-money

The less a country can make on its own, the more vulnerable it is to shocks on the other side of the planet. The more the markets reward emptying out buffer stocks, casualizing workers, and selling off your physical plant, the more your company is at risk of failing if anything goes wrong, anywhere.

The story that inflation is “too many dollars chasing too few goods” puts undue influence on “too many dollars” and not enough on “too few goods.” The 40 year neoliberal experiment in letting the economy-computer run itself was a sham from the start, a way to trade democratically accountable market structuring through public regulation for secret, unaccountable market structuring through back-room deals between monopolists.

The idea that we should fix “too many dollars” by taking away workers’ jobs and cutting their wages so they can’t afford the necessities of life ignores the possibility that we can work on “too few goods” instead — by onshoring production of key inputs like lithium, and by shortening supply chains so there’s fewer ripples in the bullwhip’s path.

Long, brittle supply chains have given us the bullwhip effect from hell. Yes, there are energy shortages as a result of Russia’s invasion of Ukraine, but there’s also no onshore capacity for solar panel production, leaving Americans to bid against desperate, Russian-gas-starved Europeans for Chinese panels.

As with used cars and furniture and other commodities, solar panels are — even now — bunching up in the supply chain between China and the EU, with an overcorrection likely to follow.

Here in the USA, we could face deflation — after all, if lumber prices are dropping 30% per month, why wouldn’t you delay your project for another month and see if you can pick up another 30% discount?

If the economy only “works” when working people have to choose between food, fuel and health care, when bosses can reduce your pay and cut your hours because you can’t get a job elsewhere, then the economy doesn’t work at all.

Focusing on monetary policy — rather than productive capacity — is a trap that the wealthy set for us. The tell is obvious: “too much money creation” is never a problem when it’s financing military spending or tax cuts. The rich know that the true predictor of an economy’s health is its ability to produce goods, and fretting over its production of money is largely a distraction.

Image: Lars Frantzen (modified) https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Supermarket_full_of_goods.jpg

CC BY-SA 4.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0/deed.en

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Twitter (modified) https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Twemoji2_1f3ed.svg

CC BY 4.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/deed.en

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Thwongterry and Toobaz (modified) https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Bullwhip_effect.png

CC BY-SA 3.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/deed.en

[Image ID: An icon of a person cracking a bullwhip; their head has been replaced with the frowning head of Uncle Sam. Each ascending peak of the whip's passage has a different icon; in order: ATM, shop, truck, warehouse, shipping containers, container ship, factory. In the background is a blurred out supermarket aisle, stocked high with goods.]

#pluralistic

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youareinlovees · 3 years

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LA Lockdown (submission)

(um hi, hope you don't mind me submitting this to you but I got inspired to do some ~creative writing and Nat got deactivated 😭)

May 2020

It’s a beautiful day in LA. Joe sits at one end of the couch on the outdoor terrace, absorbed in his book. Taylor is sitting at the other end, looking out at the view across Beverly Hills and occasionally looking at her phone, her feet up on the seat and her legs draped across Joe’s lap. It’s an idyllic scene. Lockdown might be boring him stiff, with all his upcoming acting projects being pushed back indefinitely, but he knows that he does have it pretty good.

Joe gets distracted from his book by the sight of his phone screen lighting up with new messages in the Frosty Crew and partners group chat. Picking up his phone, he sees that Jesse has sent a link to a Reductress article entitled, ‘Have you made the Bon Appétit focaccia yet or do you live with someone you can fuck?’

He chuckles, but before he can respond, another message pops up in the chat.

Taylor: Not to brag but some of us have managed to do both

She looks across from the other end of the couch and smirks at him. In response, he taps out a message of his own.

Joe: And it was thoroughly enjoyable Joe: Orgasmic one might say Joe: I am of course referring to the baking that Taylor did yesterday

Taylor: Aw baby I didn’t know you liked it that much Taylor: We can have it again later if you like

Joe: Later? That’s an awfully long time to have to wait

Jesse: do you two know you can just text each other directly if you want to schedule sex?

Taylor slides her legs further across Joe’s lap, intentionally rubbing herself against his groin and shuffling closer to him. He grins, wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her in so he can press a few light kisses to the side of her neck.

Billy: Text each other? She’s probably sitting in his lap right now.

Joe momentarily pulls away from kissing down Taylor’s jawline to add a final message of his own.

Joe: Oh shit, busted Joe: Billy you need to stop spying on us through the security cameras Joe: Anyway I’ll talk to you lot later

Taylor tugs his phone out of his hands and puts it down next to her own on the table, her eyes sparkling. ‘Now that you’ve finished telling everyone that we’re about to fuck, can we actually get on with it?’ she teases.

‘Hey,’ he says, looking straight into her hypnotizingly blue eyes, ‘I think you’ll find you’re the one who started it, actually.’

‘Excuse me, Joseph, but which one of us was too impatient to wait until later? It’s only the middle of the day. I would have been perfectly content waiting until after whatever movie you’ve picked out for us this evening.’

She’s a vision, her messy hair falling across her shoulders, dressed in an old Rolling Stones t-shirt and a comfy pair of short shorts that cling tightly to her ass. They’d played a game of tennis earlier and he certainly hadn’t been complaining about the view whenever she bent down to pick up another tennis ball. Now, he runs his hands up under her t-shirt, over her stomach and round her back.

‘Well,’ he says, pretending to be disappointed, ‘if that’s how you feel, I guess I’ll go back to my book.’

‘Don’t you dare,’ she says breathily, straddling his lap properly and grinding into him. He takes one hand out from under her shirt and pushes it into her hair instead, pulling her head firmly down towards his until their lips meet.

They kiss passionately, desperately, Taylor moaning into his mouth, breaking apart only to pull off each other’s t-shirts. She’s still moving back and forth on his lap and driving him wild. He’s almost fully hard by this point, and suddenly he stands up, taking her by surprise. She’s still wrapped around him, her long bare legs encircling his waist.

‘We’re going back to bed,’ he says firmly.

They could just have sex where they are, or on one of the many other couches downstairs - they’ve done it plenty of times before - but he has a sudden urge to show off to her a little, give her a practical demonstration of the benefits of all the working out he’s been doing during lockdown. He carries her through the house and up the stairs to their bedroom as she bites his earlobe and kisses his neck in a very distracting manner.

He lowers her onto their bed, climbing on top of her to kiss her again. ‘You’re still wearing far too many clothes,’ he murmurs into her ear. She shivers in anticipation - he knows how much his voice turns her on when it’s right in her ear like this - and lifts her arms above her head in response, allowing him to pull her sports bra off and turn his attention to her breasts, licking and sucking at her nipples. She gasps as he aggressively sucks a hickey onto her underboob, pushing her hips up against his body in an effort to seek out some much-needed friction.

‘Joe, please,’ she begs. ‘Enough with all this teasing, I need you now.’

He smirks, pressing his hips firmly down into hers, stopping her grinding motion. ‘Well, since you asked so nicely…’

He draws back to kneel on the floor at the side of the bed, pulling her hips towards him. He can practically hear her heart thudding in her chest as he hooks his long fingers under the waistband of her shorts, pulling them off in one motion along with her underwear. As he pushes her thighs apart and drapes her legs over his shoulders, he can see that she’s soaking wet. He decides to cut out the teasing, having made her wait for long enough already, gripping her hips and going straight for her clit.

The sound she makes in response is almost enough to make him come then and there, but he’s made of stronger stuff than that. As he continues, he can hear her breath catching in her throat, feel her perfect thighs tightening around his head, her body squirming under his attentions as she gets closer and closer to orgasm. Before long she’s coming, her whole body shuddering and her back arching off the bed as she moans out uncontrollably, ‘oh, Joe.’

He works her through her orgasm until eventually he looks up from between her legs to see her lying with her head thrown back, breathing heavily, hands clutching the sheets on either side of her, and a blissed-out expression on her face. She’s radiant, the most beautiful woman he’s ever seen, and he feels a surge of satisfaction at being the only person allowed to bring her to this state.

‘Fuck,’ she mumbles deliriously, her cheeks flushed red. ‘That was so good, babe.’

But they’re not done yet, because he’s as desperate for her as she is for him. Pulling his sweatpants and boxers off, he climbs back onto the bed and hovers over her, repositioning them so that her head is on the pillow now. Taylor whines softly as he pushes into her, clearly still sensitive from the high she’s just had, so he starts off at a gentle pace. She feels so so good around him, and he nuzzles into her neck and groans softly into her ear. He loves feeling connected to her like this, their bodies intertwined and her hands in his hair. He lifts himself back off her slightly to look into her eyes.

‘s okay,’ she whispers to him, ‘you can go harder.’ He notices her gaze lingering slightly on his arms, which have bulked up noticeably in the last few months. He suppresses a grin. If that’s what she’s after, that’s what she’ll get.

Without any warning, he grabs her wrists and pins them above her head, thrusting into her with a newfound aggression. She moans, her mouth falling open and her eyes rolling back as she hitches her thighs up higher around his waist. She writhes in pleasure underneath him as he hits her spot, taking advantage of the new angle to penetrate her more deeply. With her hands restrained, she can only tighten herself around him and respond to every stroke by undulating her hips up into him. ‘Don’t you dare stop,’ she gasps, ‘I’m so close, Joe.’

The desperation in her voice turns him on even more. He can feel himself getting close, so close, and he quickly moves one of his hands down to her clit, repositioning the other one so that it’s still pinning down both of her wrists. ‘Are you going to come for me, Tay?’ he asks, his voice low and commanding. The combination of his fingers, his relentless thrusting, and his voice pushes her over the edge for a second time, and he feels her whole body shaking and clinging onto him as she comes hard.

The sensation of her body clenching around him is enough to make him explode as well, and he collapses on top of her, finally releasing her hands. She winds her arms around his shoulders and through his hair, which by this point is a complete mess, as he lies with his head on her chest, both of them slowly getting their breath back and letting their heart rates come back down to normal.

Joe can feel Taylor smiling against the top of his head. ‘Sorry for tearing you away from your book, babe,’ she says cheekily. ‘I’ll have to make you some more of my - how did you describe it? - orgasmic focaccia to make it up to you.’

He laughs at her silliness as they both get up to look for their clothes. ‘That’s okay, love, you’re good enough to eat on your own.’ Taylor snorts and pretends to smack him on the arm with her shorts, but she can’t resist replying, ‘In that case, maybe I can arrange a special dessert for you after dinner tonight.’

#the way this had been sitting in my inbox for months and i only just found it-#taylor and joe

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evak-fic-rec-turtleanon · 3 years

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Evak Fics - Pining

I’m posting half of this list first because I started it a long time ago and it’s taking me a while to go through all the fics. So I will update with more later.

*** Mutual Pining *** Pining - I might put mutual pining under pining if we don't see much of the other person pining. *** Bonus - The pining is not between Evak

For the anon from this ask.

I will try my best to separate out the mutual pining fics but I think it will be tricky if it's not tagged as that. So bear with me and let me know of any mistakes or fics I missed out on.

. First Posting : 11 July 2021. Under 15k fics. .

******* Mutual Pining *******

Even the Illustrator by eavk (SERIES, 3 fics) - An AU where Even’s an illustrator who draws what kids describe to him for YouTube, and Isak is the smitten father of a six year old with a wild imagination.

Postcards by HedwigsTalons (1k words) - Isak's wall is covered in postcards. Isak is supportive of Even's career and he cherishes every postcard but the long distance relationship hurts.

Feelings Come and Go, But Not With You by ultimatelawrence (1.9k words) - It was meant to just be a holiday romance. A fling. Nothing like love. But now it was six months later and Even was still pining over the angel he had met in Paris.

let's pretend into forever by Bellakitse (2.3k words) - “Let me get this straight,” Even starts. “You lied to your boss about having a boyfriend, told her it was me, and now you need me to go with you to your science nerd dinner?”

i will love you until the very, very end (and you were my best friend) by traumatic (2.4k words) - Isak and Even share something in the cool waters of a spring fed pool that no one, not even their fiancées, could ever understand.

Breathe Me by photographer_of_thoughts (4.5k words) - A high school reunion brings Isak and Even together after ten years, and neither of them can forget what happened when they were both seventeen.

Everything comes back to you by MermaidsandMermen (4.8k words) - Light pining. A dribble oneshot for Halloween, full of fluff and Even and Isak and a tiny pinch of angst. Because we need some Halloween fluff. That's all.

Fuck Tha Police by MacksDramaticShenanigans (5.2k words) - “This,” Eskild said, spinning the photograph around so everyone could see it, “is a picture of the latest piece of vandalism from our favorite little street punk.” he finished with a heavy sigh. They are both cops.

i tried to be strong but i lost it (i knew it was wrong, i’m beyond it) (6.3k words) - Even has a thing for his intern, Isak has a thing for his boss, they're both a bit clueless and their friends just want them to get their shit together.

all I see is you by littlemovie (Lejla) (7.4k words) - “Aren’t you gonna ask me why I’m a bad person?” Isak somehow whined and demanded at the same time. Jonas blew out a breath in amusement, which made the dark curls on his forehead move with his breath. “I’m guessing it has something to do with that guy, Even, from the coffeeshop?”

Addicted by endlessandinfinite (8k words) - They’re both completely, overwhelmingly, and incredibly...addicted. Best friends to lovers.

Calleth You, Cometh I by Kollakolan (8.4k words) - “Isak!” Mikaels pipes up. “Didn´t you two have a thing?” he turns to Even. A thing, Even thinks to himself. Yes, Isak and him definitely had a thing. They actually had a low-key thing going for years, but it never really turned into something more. The timing was never right.

In Vino Veritas by Sabeley (9.9k words) - After seven years apart, Isak wakes up to find Even in his bed and a wedding ring on his finger.

Let Me by GayaIsANerd (10.6k words) - Summer brings a lot of things. The smell of sunscreen. The sound of children playing in the shallow part of the lake. The taste of cold beer. The sweet tang of weed. But most importantly, summer brings Isak.

Something Borrowed, Something Blue by BluebeardsWife (10.8k words) - Fake dating AU, you know the drill. Even hires Isak to pretend to be his boyfriend at his ex's wedding. This Means Nothing to Me by cuteandtwisted (10.8k words) - Isak and Even are friends and roommates who don't believe in love anymore (after they both get dumped by other people) until they do. Aka the Friends/Roommates-To-Lovers Don't you let me go by solarpower21 (12.2k words) - In this universe, Isak and Even are roomates and nothing more. Except that there is something more between them and they both know that but are too stubborn to admit it. Too bad it takes a very unfortunate event for them to face the truth. Burn Down The Disco by TheGirlNoOneKnows5 (12.2k words) - A 'Black Mirror: Hang The DJ' AU in which Isak and Even decide to rebel against a futuristic dating system that pairs users up with various people in order to find their perfect match.

La Petite Mort by EvenbechNeiheim (13.4k words) - Even Bech Næsheim is one of those cool and very hot media students at Uni who might just got the task to make a film project. Eskild is the best wingman and things like accidently falling in love with an asshole media student happen. Based on the FIRST KISS YouTube video that gave the internet an entire meltdown.

when your heart is bleeding, i'm coming to get you by orphan_account (13.5k words) - Isak doesn't exactly expect his hookup from last week to be the love advice columnist at the school newspaper he's working at. He also doesn't expect to fall even harder for him than he already has, which is a shame, really, since Even's crushing on someone else.

Heal My Heart for Christmas by iwritetropesnottragedies (recklesslee) (13.5k words) - It’s been ten years since Isak left his small town for the big city of Oslo with his father. He hardly even thought of his time there anymore. Until he received a letter from his mother asking him to come home for Christmas for the first time since he had left.

Love in the Time of COVID: Battlestar Edition by sweetasmaple (14k words) - Isak and Even find each other again during the COVID-19 lockdown, one Battlestar Galactica episode at a time.

******* Pining *******

never seemed so alive by retts (1k words) - Nothing special, just four letters strung together to spell out E V E N but they made Isak's heart race and his face blush and his hands tremble.

Hopeless by waitineedaname (1k words) - Light pining. There was no way in hell Isak would be able to talk to Even. He was tall and cool and handsome, and Isak was pretty sure talking to him would make him spontaneously combust.

i could probably just curl up in you. by milominderbinder (1.3k words) - Isak is away at a cabin with the guys when he gets a text from Even. 'hey, babe, did you take my favourite hoodie?' He is, of course, outraged that Even would accuse him of such treachery. The fact that Isak is wearing the hoodie at that very moment has nothing to do with it.

stuck on you (what did i do?) by itjustkindahappened (1.8k words) - It’s not that Even doesn’t try to be friendly with him—Isak just makes it so hard. Whenever Even approaches, Isak either makes up a fumbling excuse to leave, or just becomes really stiff and refuses to acknowledge Even’s existence.

now and forever (i will be your man) by thekardemomme (2.2k words) -Warning for pain. 3 times isak kisses even +1

i be up in the gym just working on my fitness by orphan_account (2.3k words) - Even knows that he's quite literally going to die when he finds his crush sweating on an elliptical, reading a book with his glasses slipping down his nose.

You know where I stay by nofeartina (2.4k words) - Warning for pain. Isak is so beautiful first thing in the morning. When he still has creases in his face from the pillow, when his face is red and puffy from sleep, his hair all messed up and curly. Even prefers this Isak. This is his Isak, this is only for him.

won't you be my livewire by itjustkindahappened (3.2k words) - "i've been tryin to grab your attention in class for over half an hour by poking you and throwing things onto your desk and you're refusing to acknowledge me and gdi all i wanted to do was tell you that you look cute and now it's gone too far and i can't go back"

Cookies and Cream by GayaIsANerd (3.5k words) - Isak has a crush on the barista. He's too scared to do anything about it, but luckily there's a blizzard coming up.

i can feel the weather in my bones by EvenbechNeiheim (3.7k words) - Isak and Even are childhood friends. There’s a boyfriend sweater and Isak is just desperate to wear it.

On the silver screen by Lokkanel (4k words) - Isak was really not in the mood for this. He had a long week at work, and all he wanted was to relax with his friend, drink a few beers, maybe even smoke some weed and just chill. But no. When Jonas called him to say that he won tickets to the coolest indie film festival in Oslo, Isak knew he could forget his plans for a quiet and simple weekend.

I want to love you (in my own language) by fauu_stine (4k words) - “Okay. Maybe I’m not happy,” he admits in a resigned whisper. “Do you need a shrink discussion or a best friend discussion?” "I think- I think it’s more of a friend with benefits kind of talk."

Don't be an ass by Julieseven (4.1k words) - Even really tried to forget about him. It started out as a harmless little crush, really. He saw him at the karaoke bar SYNG one night, singing "I don't want to miss a thing" at the top of his lungs, clearly drunk out of his mind, but looking like an angel with his messy dark blond locks and crooked smile.

Little Black Book by Laika (4.3k words) - Isak Valtersen is studying his third year at the University of Oslo and having the time of his life. Enter Evy Bech Næsheim, straight out of Nissen, in his stockings, mini skirts and bubblegum scented lip gloss.

cracks in our foundation by towonderland72 (4.8k words) - “You know, like a thousand years ago, men used to wear makeup?” Even asks, as Isak gapes at himself.

Safest With You (Green Curtains) by eavk (5.3k words) - Isak keeps staying up too late studying at the library, but luckily there's an escort service that gives students a buddy to walk with to keep safe at night.

the one with the prom video by thekardemomme (5.5k words) - Even has been in love with Isak since they were younger, but he never intended for Isak to find out this way.

Senses by Lokkanel (5.5k words) - Sight, hearing, smell, touch, taste… Or Even falling in love with Isak, one sense at a time.

you're the one i wanna grey with (5.6k words) - They've only been dating a month, so Isak shouldn't be pathetic enough to miss Even this much when he's only gone for a weekend.

Orion's Nebula by thekardemomme (5.6k words) - Light pining I think. Even Bech Næsheim was enrolled in an astronomy class for one reason and one reason only: the cute ass boy he saw standing in the registration line.

with the taste of a poison paradise by chasingflower (6k words) - It’s routine by now. Isak hangs out with his friends during the day and at night he kisses the Dream-Even that lives on the other side of the door in his living room, and basks in the warm fuzzy feelings he gets as a result of the attention. Coraline Au.

How to Get Your Man - A Plan By Even Bech Naesheim by Evakkk (6.1k words) - When Magnus drops a big secret in front of Even... Even comes up with a brilliant plan to get Isak to reveal his true feelings. All it takes is one little lie, and one crazy family reunion.

To Burn With Desire by photographer_of_thoughts (6.1k words) - AU in which Isak and Even are neighbours and Isak's father has a secret job that unintentionally helps Isak realize he's in love with his best friend.

Watermelon Sugar by MermaidsandMermen (6.6k words) - A little tribute to fruit and touching. To sex, and friendships and finding what you were looking for all along. And of course inspired by Harry Styles latest video offering, just because.

The Fake Boyfriend App by Crazyheart (7.2k words) - AU where Isak is desperately pining for his flatmate Even, and downloads a fake boyfriend app to get over him. When he discovers that the Fake boyfriend is a human, and not a bot, he is sceptical.

That look you give that guy by Lokkanel (7.4k words) - Isak and Even love each other in secret. It is almost thrilling at first, but when hiding and lying to their friends begin to take a toll on Even, Isak decides to end it all. He thinks he has taken the right decision, until Even eventually moves on with someone else.

my longing drives me crazy for you (7.7k words) - Isak's mum worries, Isak makes bad life decisions and Even loves Isak. It's a fake dating au.

I'm Always Here by nofeartina (9.3k words) - “Did you know that Even is working this summer? At that pool at the Plaza?” Jonas says. Isak actually sits up in excitement at this. “Fuck yeah!” Oh, a pool. Actual water they could go swimming in and cool down. And also, Even.

a garden for your love by eggsntoast (9.3k words) - He’s learning to breathe with them, even if he ends up with a floor full of violets by the end of it all. They remind Isak of him, and that’s all that matters. That’s what makes it worse. or: a Hanahaki au ft. Isak heavily pining after Even. Lots of angst.

I wrote an angry letter to the void, and the void responded (9.5k words) - Monday comes, and the book is still there. Isak looks around, content to find the floor practically empty, before giving the book the finger. Fuck that book. - a book finds it's way to Isak's sacred study spot. this proves to be a major distraction.

a constant state of closeness by chevythunder (9.7k words) - “What is it about this dude, anyway?” Elias asks. “You’ve barely even talked to him, right?” “I don’t know,” Even says. “I just got this feeling, you know? Just- I want to make sure he’s okay and safe and… stuff.” - It starts with a hug.

Is This Our Time? by Evakkk (9.9k words) - This is a world where everyone is born with an indistinguishable soulmate mark... it only changes into something recognizable, once you have physical contact with your soulmate, and it's always something meaningful to the relationship. Both partners will bear the same mark. Isak is about to turn 18... and he's the only one in his friend group who still hasn't found their soulmate. But what happens when he goes out one night, gets drunk... and wakes up with his soulmate mark?

Is This What You Wanted? by cuteandtwisted (9.9k words) - Isak is filthy rich and Even is a hardworking male model who just got signed to his father's agency. Even gets an awful offer from Isak: one night with him in exchange for money, and begins to despise him. Little does he know that everything he thinks he knows about Isak is wrong.

Just like in the movies by Lokkanel (10.5k words) - As he began taking in his surroundings, Isak realized he was in one of those small theaters that programmed independent and artsy movies, even old black and white films. He was ready to turn around and walk away when he heard a deep voice say, “Halla.”

my tiny heartbeat in his ear by riyku (11k words) - Now, about a week after the longest day of the year, the empty house across the street has stopped being empty. most beautiful things by scarletbluebird (12.7k words) - This fic is a whole ass journey. Warning for pain. This isn’t a fairytale, Isak tells himself. Even is standing at the bend in the road. He looks like a metaphor for immortal life: the youth a god would kill for. Ambrosia eyes, the universe trapped in the curve of his mouth. He looks like every warning from his mother about strangers you run into after dark.

One week by Lokkanel (12.8k words) - This thing going on between Isak and Even, whatever they called it - fuckbuddies, friends with benefits - was simple, fun, nothing more. They were friends, they were both free to do whatever they wanted with other people. They’d just meet and have sex whenever they felt like it. Simple. Until what was bound to happen eventually did and Even fell for Isak.

Plum by Jamz24 (13.2k words) - Femme!teacher!Even asks masculine! plumber!Isak to fix a broken shower on a scorching hot summer day...And if you think it sounds like the start of a porn film you're absolutely right! There's LOADS of smut but ... with LOTS of feelings

Never be the same by nofeartina (14.2k words) - It starts with a bet - one of those really stupid ones: can they last an entire month without any kind of sex?It’s been 22 days – and Even is dying.

Somewhere I’ve never been by MinilocIsland (14.6k words) - The first time Even meets Jonas' best friend, nothing goes according to plan.

If I Should Fall Behind by MinilocIsland (14.7k words) - The plan for tonight had been crystal clear. Stay close to his best friend, and steal her away if needed. Hold her hand through the ordeal of meeting Noora again for the first time in years. Then Even shows up – and suddenly, nothing goes the way it was supposed to.

All I Ever Wanted by MinilocIsland (14.8k words) - Isak is such a good friend. Probably the best there is. How else could he explain that he's agreed to join Magnus to this place deep in the woods for six full days of silence, meditation, and utter boredom? One thing, he knows. There's nothing exciting for him there. Right? Or: the silent retreat AU.

******* Bonus *******

Season 3: Jonas by Laika_the_husband (WIP, SBB 2021 fic) - There is a scene in the end of the script for season 1, where Jonas and Isak kiss each other on a dare. This story is a retelling of season 3 in a universe, where that kiss happened and completely changed the way Jonas sees Isak. Written in Jonas' POV, the story examines sexuality, love, friendship and coming to terms with never getting the boy you shouldn't have fallen for in the first place.

What the fuck is wrong with me? by notanugget (11.6k words) - The five times isak felt guilty for being in love and the one time he didn’t

thanks for the weed, thanks for everything by evak1isak (13.1k words) - Jokael. Jonas' dealer has moved to Denmark, and Even recommends his friend's weed. What Jonas didn't expect, though, was to develop a crush on a boy, on Mikael.

******* WIP *******

Baby, why do you have to shine so bright? by Lilacpotter - Even knew he was radiant, and he was used to people always wanting to be around him, enchanted by his captivating words and glowing smiles, as if he was the tantalising sun. But then one day, he comes across someone who shines much brighter than the sun itself in Even’s eyes.

Lonely Hearts Club by EndingsNotTheStory - The Hearts Club. A show run by Isak and his 3 friends. He's kind of had enough with hearing about people's relationship issues and giving advice. Until the guy from his theatre class and Isak's totally not crush Even calls, dealing with relationship issues. pining

#evak fic rec #skam fic rec #pining #mutual pining #first half of the list #to be updated

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socratoteles · 3 years

Text

A year to get Ph.D in letting go

The last time I was here, I wrote that perhaps it was time for me to go out and just enjoy the world. And amid the global pandemic, I sort of managed to do that. It was such a lifesaver in a year of goodbyes. I`ll get to that, but let me begin with my coronavirus scare.

On March 4 last year, I was away in Bandung, aware but not worried of some obscure virus that triggered a total lockdown in some Chinese cities. That very same day was also the time when my colleagues came in contact with a man who later confirmed of having contracted COVID-19.

That was how close I was of contracting the virus. Had I not taken a paid leave to write last year’s essay in the city where I was born, chances were high that I was another case as well, at that early stage of the pandemic too. I`m still familiar with the helplessness that came after I checked in to a hospital only to being denied the test (the nurse reasoned that the contact with my colleagues, who might catch the virus from the confirmed man, cannot be categorized as close contact).

And that experience, of confusion and fear of infecting loved ones, left a lasting impression that shaped my behavior going forward. After all, it takes a pandemic to make wearing mask and washing hands could made the difference between life and death.

Covid-induced isolation meant that I spent most of my time being holed up in my room for the past 12 months. To this day the side effects of this solitary existence is still beyond my full grasp. On one hand, this situation had brought out my inner resiliency, resourcefulness and adaptability in the long days and night when things were just so dark. On the other hand, it also forced me to deal with unresolved traumas and numerous intrusive thoughts, which I will get into later.

People get really creative during the long locked-down days, spending it doing viral social media challenges one after the other. Videoconferencing become a thing on its own and for some reason loads of folks played a game named Among Us too, perhaps to remind themselves of the interactions cruelly torn apart because of the virus.

There was also a newfound awareness on class too, because the coronavirus disproportionately affected different individuals with different income level. At least on my part, I was lucky that essential workers (the pandemic elevated the phrase into such a buzzword) near my place were safe and somehow never contracted the virus. It is worth mentioning that I definitely cannot survive this long if not for the minimarket workers, ride-hailing drivers and dozens of cooks, all of whom must have worked in long hours, despite knowing the risk, just to keep their families fed.

Others, however, were not so lucky. the SARS-CoV-2 had infected more than a million Indonesians a year after it was officially detected in these shores. Millions have lost their jobs as economic activities ground to a halt. The place I currently work was not an exception. Massive layoffs would have happened in my office had the shareholders have enough money to properly compensate their workers.

It was an obviously eye-opening experience to calculate my own severance pay and make sure I could survive on that for as long as possible. The prospect of losing your income during the pandemic –which should be that particular time for anyone to hold on to their what-ifs money– was really awful.

This is the paragraph where I say that I wish nothing but the best for those who left the company simply because they deserve nothing less than that.

But there was another reason why I signed up for a help from professional therapist last year. In the latter part of last year, things got very, very grim. At the risk of oversimplification, let’s just say that I was unable to express my feelings properly to a girl that I really liked, right at the most critical moment when probably both of us needed support from each other. She eventually left with another guy.

Days before that fateful event happened, I was quietly bearing my own burden. After years of convincing myself that I was okay, I was, in fact, not okay, at least mentally. Years of trauma have caught up. It’s too personal to even spell that out here but I`ll just quote this Youtuber just to describe a fitting metaphor.

“You see, human identity is like a house of card. One that’s always expanding. A story that is ever developing and always referred back to because every memory becomes a new card. Trauma is when a card doesn’t fit because the experience itself is so painful that it’s incompatible with everything else and if you become obsessed with making it fit the whole house of cards can fall apart and you lose the confidence to build anything new.”

Basically, my house of cards came crashing down, hard. At a time, it reduced me into this insecure soul who were unsure that people will accept me for who I was.

The last time I felt this way was a couple years back when my parent’s divorce was formalized. A girlfriend turned ex-girlfriend at that time too. Apparently, the universe has a cruel sense of timing to combine existential crisis with a relationship one.

The road to recovery was rocky, to say the least. I know something fundamental must be addressed, hence the therapy session.

I`m grateful for the company of my friends, either offline or online. (yes, I had become quite loose in terms of isolation because I know I had to prioritize my mental health; COVID-19 be damned). I`m also glad to say that because I talked with my friends about this issue, some of them were also encouraged to seek professional help.

At the height of my despair, I watched La Grande Bellezza (probably for a half a dozen time already) again and found this quote, spoken by the protagonist Jep Gambardella:

“We’re all on the brink of despair. We can only look each other in the face, keep each other company, kid each other a bit. Don’t you agree?”

Someone was kind enough to upload the entire scene on Youtube.

I decided that all bets are off, so I purchased books, many of which had been on my to-read list for years because I know I`ll have to read it when I search for a catharsis. That was how I finally read the Camus’ Myth of Sisyphus, from which I managed to understand what he meant by the absurdities of life. Into the Wild, excellently written by Jon Krakauer, broke my heart too because of Chris Mccandles’ tales somehow mimicked my own, minus the grand adventure part. I finally read Alan Watts too, from whom I learned that efforts to avoid from pain is painful in itself.

And music, a constant part of my life as I know it, helps too. I was saved because Fleet Foxes released a life-affirming record that fittingly spoke about relief, gratitude, and seasonal rebirth. During the darkest days I was just alone with my guitar in my room, terribly singing out the words that these musicians carved out of their soul to release my emotional burden. I was particularly grateful for being reminded time and again that “no one gets it right” but “we’re all supposed to try”.

I made a playlist containing songs that for me served as a reminder to be gentle for myself. You can check that here.

All of that was a roundabout way to say that I indeed, was able to go out amid the pandemic. On one afternoon I just said fuck it, I need to go out and see things. That led me to a weekly socially-distanced walk around the neighborhood, which was therapeutic in itself because the walks allowed me to be fully present and be sensitive to the sights and sounds and smells around me. Nothing is more liberating that allowing your feet to go where it you to go.

I don’t have the full answers yet, but as I wrote his essay, I`m glad to be able to say that I have rebuild my house of cards, with some of the bad cards included as well. It was quite a bumpy ride but when I looked back, this particular tweet was eerily prescient because it rings true today as was the day I tweeted it.

But I walked away from the depths of that bottomless pit not only with knowledge, but also of understanding the parts that made me who I am. I`m also humbled after I saw the abyss for the second time because it suggests that there might be another time when I found myself on the edge of despair.

I`ll never forget the fact that these hard-won lessons came on the back of years of pain, grief and suffering. But it also came on the heels of moments of simple walk in the setting sun and feeling the breeze on the beach too. In fact, I have made it my mission going forward to acknowledge both good and bad things as they are. Because forcing yourself to remember all the bright things when you were in the dark, and vice versa, is a form of self-torture. I hope this essay somehow do that mission justice.

I have said goodbyes to many things in life as the crisis comes and goes, but 2020 goodbyes were simply different. So much so that I thought I have a PhD in letting go already, however absurd that idea is.

#age #birthday #essay

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miazeklos · 2 years

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I genuinely truly don't think we're getting TWOW anymore. THREE published Bran chapters since the Clinton administration. I mean, c’mon….

His recent blog post was probably the nail in the coffin for most people. The fact that he's admitted that he's heavily involved in other projects and that TWOW is just one of them and isn't his priority has sealed the book series fate. It will never be finished now. His line about how “Westeros is bigger than ASOIAF or Winds” was one of the most frustrating things I've ever read on one of his posts.

I used to roll my eyes and think people were being negative when they'd be so happy to say were never getting winds. I'd think yeah there prob a big chance we could never see a dream of spring but we are obviously going to get TWOW, at least at some point.

I genuinely don't think so anymore. I really don't think it's happening. He's not even almost done and is working on more projects than ever before.

I think for me, when the world literally stopped and there was literally nothing else to do, a virus made it so he could die if he left the house - he still didn't manage to finish it - or at least almost finish it. I had hope when he said he was working on it all the time, but even then he was saying " a long way to go still " And then he stopped working on it the same way. His blogs just became about what telly he's been enjoying.

I think for me, thats when I knew. The universe literally took away every distraction and he still couldn't do it ? Hows he ever going to do it with a million distractions like he's taking on now. If he couldn't do it during lockdown he's never gona be able to. And definitely not with like 18 projects going on.

Its wild that there have been more mainline WoT books released since Robert Jordan's death than ASOIAF books. Just baffling to me that this is happening.

"three published Bran chapters since the Clinton administration" sounds so grim but oh god, you're right. T_T

Honestly, I'm torn on this one, not because I have a strong opinion on whether he'll finish it or not (it's a coin toss for me) but because I've realised that I'm kind of fine with it if he doesn't? Like, I had this conversation on twitter recently, too, but he doesn't actually owe us this. And yes, yes, the fans made him rich, so on and so forth, but at the same time, we've paid for the books we already own, not any future releases.

Right now, his interest seems to be occupied with a bunch of other things and, personally, that's fine to me. Partially I suspects that that's because I was fine with the show's ending and am okay with it being the only one I get, but also because he deserves to do what he wants? He's, what, 80ish years old? There comes a point for most people when we realise that legacy isn't everything and being happy and content with what you do here and now is extremely important, so if that's what makes him happy, that's fine. If he takes his time with Winds, publishes it in like another two years and then never publishes Dream, that's also fine. If he wants to explore the world of ASOIAF on the side, that, too, is fine (though tbh I want him to focus more on Westeros in those spin-offs because that's where my interest is, but that's once again not really my call to make). We're only here once, as far as we know, at least.

As for the lockdowns... he did say he was writing more, but apparently it wasn't enough. It's either rewrites and just getting longer, or just a long ass book. Or he could be lying. Either way, I understand the fanbase's frustration, but I understand his, too.

#asks #grrm

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imnotwolverine · 4 years

Text

Nerdflirt

Henry Cavill x reader twoshot (1/2)

Word count: 2.768

Disclaimer: tiny, tiny hint of fluff

Summary: There’s apparently a bit more involved than just paint and innocent flirting, when you meet a stranger on Instagram with a shared hobby.

Find the second part here.

This story is based on a prompt I received from @aestheticqueenb

(Link to my Masterlist)

‘Maybe, you can like…I don’t know…find some new hobby or something?’

Your friend had said it more as an after thought during your Zoom chat, but here you were. Thinking yet again if she was perhaps right. A new hobby. It’s not like you hadn’t tried to find some diversion in these strange times. Like. You had ordered some of these picture paint books for adults since they were all the rage, but you had grown bored of them again.

Heck. You had even asked your boss if you could help him out while stuck at home. But apparently the restaurant business was really on its ass and you’d just have to wait for things to settle down and regulations to become less restricting.

This whole COVID-19 thing had initially seemed like a bit of a fad. Like some sick joke that nobody stopped at the right time. It was just a fever, right? Well, apparently…it wasn’t. You could still remember the moment all too well when you were sent home, told to wait for news. Hours passed. Days passed. Weeks passed. But there was no sign of things soon to improve.

And thus you resorted to adult colouring books and sulking away on your desk chair.

Stretching out you pushed the chair away from your desk, the tiny wheels immediately halting as you bumped against your bed. Oh yes, it was also good to mention you were slowly losing your mind because your studio apartment was SOO friggin’ small you couldn’t stretch as much as a foot without bumping into a piece of furniture.

Not a problem when you have a social life. But very much a problem when you hadn’t. Usually you worked a lot, went out with friends, enjoyed to go for a run. And home? Home was just a conveniently placed bed in the middle of London.

Now, however, it was a constricting prison that seemed to strip away your sanity piece by piece.

As had become second nature by now you opened your phone, fingers automatically refreshing the front news page. Scroll, scroll, scroll. No new news. Then your e-mail. No new e-mails. Then perhaps look for some “inspiration” - whatever you needed that for - on Pinterest? Scroll, scroll, scroll. Okay, no, this is dumb. Going back to the mainscreen your thumb hovered over the Instagram button.

You honestly didn’t like the app much. Fake people. Fake fun lives. It just wasn’t your cuppa tea. And yet you never got so far as deleting it since you did enjoy seeing baby pictures of your baby niece.

Okay, fine, maybe there were some new pictures or something. It wasn’t like you had anything better to do and so you opened the app, only to be confronted with a somewhat confusing image. What’s this? A large pair of hands painting an absolutely tiny polystyrene figurine. Why is this on your timeline? Your eyes gazed up, even more confused when you read the name “Henry Cavill” above it. Pfft. Probably some attention whoring from another bored superstar. You shook your head and scrolled on, eventually giving up again.

You groaned, feeling the abyss of utter boredom suck you in once more, your eyes wandering to the world outside. It was sunny, a spotless blue sky, not a cloud in sight. Hilarious, ain’t it? It’s nice weather out in the UK and guess what? You’re stuck inside because the whole world is in lockdown.

So…now what? You just had lunch, your apartment was pristinely clean and you already went for a run this morning. You sighed and turned your chair back so you could awaken your trusty old friend again. Your laptop. Perhaps Google something random? See what you find? The internet’s your friend, right?

Open. Google.

You bit your lip, thinking of something. Anything. But your mind was a blank.

Hmm. Oh. You know what. Maybe it’d be fun to know what kind of fake nerd Henry Cavill actually was.

You opened Instagram again and, of course, his post was back on the top of the timeline. It was almost too easy. #GamesWorkshop #ProperGeek #Custodes. Hmm, probably one of those three tags were the secret. You decided to enter “custodes”, since it sounded the least familiar and hit enter.

Before long you had dived head first into the miraculous world of Warhammer miniature strategy boardgaming and the most ludicrous, but fascinating lore. There was a medieval variant, a sci-fi variant and some ancient Rome and English civil war stuff. All including a well-thought out background story and even more figurines then you could count. Pretty cool figures too, you thought, haphazardly clicking on “order” while scrolling through one of the webshops.

Like it contained some kind of bomb, the mailman sprinted off, leaving the small package behind while you opened your door. Fuck this corona crisis. You couldn’t even..greet the fucking mailman.

Picking up the package you carefully moved it to your desk. Would they be fragile? How tiny could tiny really be? There was only one way to find out, you decided, picking up a pair of scissors and cutting open the small brown box.

Well. Okay. That’s tiny. Tiny tiny tiny. Perhaps you had been a bit too over enthusiastic about just randomly picking up a new hobby. Like..did you even need like special paint for this? Carefully you placed the kit sheets with the hundreds of tiny pieces in them on your desk and bit your lip, deciding what you’d do next. Tiny heads, guns, wings, all stuck in a meticulously thought out grid. Where to start? Perhaps look for some inspiration? Tips and tricks?

The internet is your friend.

Silly as it was you ended up scrolling through Instagram again, this time on the profile of some “SirEltharin” who posted daily updates on his miniature painting. And just like you, he had bought the Retributor Squad from the Adepta Sororitas, the all-female fighter division that were also known as “The Sisters of Battle”. Just thinking how ridiculous that sounded made you chuckle. Were you a nerd too now? Perhaps.

He just posted something new you noticed.

‘These ladies are hard to tame! Oops, painting accident..’ He posted, along with a picture of some smudged paint on one of the figurines. You chuckled, commenting without much of a second thought.

LadyGrim - ‘Well at least you started..I just can’t get myself to paint :X’ - 1 minute ago SirEltharin - ‘No need to be Grim, good Lady. What’s keeping you from starting?’ - 2 seconds ago

Hmm. He responded immediately. A smile reached the corners of your lips as you shrugged and typed again.

LadyGrim - ‘Painters limbo? No honestly it’s my first set and I’m out of my depth here.’ - 2 minutes ago

SirEltharin - ‘Well if large male hands can do it. Surely a Lady can do it too? ;)’ - 30 seconds ago

LadyGrim - ‘Size can be deceiving.’ - 2 seconds ago

Your eyes rested on the screen for a bit, hoping he’d respond, but eventually giving up. Your eyes turned towards the sheets with the figurine parts on the other side of your desk.

Welp, it’s not like anyone could judge you for trying, right?

You painted that whole day, finding it nerve wrecking and meditative all at the same time. You hadn’t even noticed that it was past dinner time, until your stomach really started to growl with hunger.

After cooking yourself a simple pasta dish you sat back on your desk chair, forking the pasta into your mouth while opening your phone to check on any news updates. No news. Mail. No mail. Pinterest? Skip. Instagram. Heck, why not.

*New message from SirEltharin* Hmm. A private message. You didn’t even know that you could send private messages in Instagram, but alas, perhaps you were just a failed millennial.

SirEltharin - ‘Hey :) Guess what? I totally screwed up that figurine and have to do it all over again. Started any painting yet?’ - 2 hours ago

LadyGrim - ‘Perhaps you gave me all your good luck? Just started and..maybe..it actually starts to look pretty cool?’ - 2 minutes ago

SirEltharin - ‘Which one did you start with?’ - 2 seconds ago

Damn, guess it wasn’t just you who was bored to bits. This guy was one fast responder.

LadyGrim - ‘The one with the book? At least, I think…. So many parts..’

SirEltharin - ‘Yea. Requires a bit of strategising hehe. Besides..holy fervour and good faith!’

LadyGrim - ‘So why did you chose the sisters? You’re a guy right?’

SirEltharin - ‘And that’s a problem? ;)’

LadyGrim - ‘No..’

SirEltharin - ‘Honestly though. They’re cool. Strong women.’

LadyGrim - ‘Who got betrayed by the man they promised to serve.’

SirEltharin - ‘Ah you read the lore? Yea..men are dicks haha ;)’

LadyGrim - ‘Can’t agree more.’

You back and forthed throughout the evening. Starting off with some Warhammer 40k related banter, but soon drifting off to talking about the Corona lockdown and the boredom that came with it. SirEltharin didn’t let off a whole lot about himself, which made your imagination run a little wild.

Perhaps it was this “milady” type of guy, that’d tip his hat at you, then grow annoyed as soon as you didn’t immediately fall in love with him. Or, maybe it was this skinny pimple-faced guy who only ever played female characters in games. Or a really, really fat guy. He did say large male hands. Large…could be fat? Or at least chubby? Ugh. What did it matter anyways. Men, you had decided, were always going to disappoint.

SirEltharin - ‘Hey, just curious by the way. Why did YOU decide to start painting?’

LadyGrim - ‘Are you asking just because I’m a girl? ;)’

SirEltharin - ‘Hardly. What do you even think of me?! ;)’

LadyGrim - ‘Okay. Don’t call me an idiot. But this movie star, Henry Cavill? He posted an image and though I absolutely think he’s one of those fake nerd celebrities who are in it for the attention, it did get me interested in the figurines..so..I just ordered and..here I am!’

He stopped responding after that. For the rest of the night. Did you say something wrong or did he just not see your message? Ah..whatever. It didn’t really matter. He was just some stranger on the internet. You started Netflix and crawled onto your bed, wasting away another evening bingewatching How I Met Your Mother.

The next morning he had responded again. Around 5 am. Damn. Nerds ARE night owls, you thought, sipping your freshly brewn cup of french pressed coffee while leaning against your tiny kitchen block.

SirEltharin - ‘Can’t really say that without knowing him, right?’ - 3 hours ago

SirEltharin - ‘Anything in particular wrong with Henry Cavill?’ - 2 hours ago

LadyGrim - ‘Woa woa. No harm meant. Sorry. Guess I just don’t trust ‘em pretty boys?’ - 3 minutes ago

SirEltharin - ‘How’s that so? And good morning, Lady ;)’ - 2 seconds ago

You bit your lip and let out a deep sigh. Oh this man didn’t know what hellfire could come his way, opening THAT topic.

LadyGrim - ‘Good morning ..and..I doubt you’d be interested.’

SirEltharin - ‘You had my curiosity, but now you have my attention.’

LadyGrim - ‘Fine. Let’s just keep it plain and simple. Lied to, cheated on and continuously disappointed. Guess I’ll just have to become a lesbian?’

SirEltharin - ‘Don’t let a few bad ones ruin it for the rest of us. Has it been long?’

LadyGrim - ‘Long?’

SirEltharin - ‘Apologies. I mean. Since you last dated?’

LadyGrim - ‘A year or so.’

SirEltharin - ‘And how old are you? Or am I being too bold asking such a thing?’

LadyGrim - ‘It’s fine. Thirty. Had my birthday two weeks ago. So yea..becoming a bit of an old spinster hehe.’

SirEltharin - ‘Belated happy birthday and..hardly a spinster, right? I mean. I’m 37 and haven’t found anyone yet. Heck. I guess I’m the old spinster here haha.’

LadyGrim - ‘I doubt the same rules apply for men.’

SirEltharin - ‘Trust me. We are all judged.’

Weeks passed and you and Sir kinda started to really get to know each other. You both lived in London - how practical -, were pretty enthused about sports, liked dogs (he had one, you wished you had one) and were close knit with your family. You with your sister, who already had a few kids. And he with his brothers. All with kids. Teasingly you donned each other the nicknames ‘Uncle and Aunty Spinster’.

You knew he had looked on your account. Seen some pictures of you. Even made a few comments on them and liked everything new you posted. But he, SirEltharin, remained mostly a mystery. You tried to talk yourself out of your curiosity, but couldn’t help but lay in bed fantasising about him. The only body part you had seen of him to this point were his hands, and they were actually quite pretty hands. Well manicured nails, strong fingers. It meant he probably wasn’t SUPER fat. So. That’s something.

Eventually the COVID-19 related regulations were becoming less restrictive and for the first time in months you could go back to work. The very news had made you both reluctant - you liked this new rhythm of painting and chatting with SirEltharin -, but also happy. Finally getting out of your tiny apartment, finally getting back to work. It may require some getting used to again, but this was just what you really needed.

In your enthusiasm you posted a picture on Instagram of your work outfit as it lay neatly spread out on your bed sheets. Your boss had made some quirky shirts to celebrate the reopening of the restaurant: “Brunello’s back” was written in fancy white lettering on the back of the shirt. You giggled as SirEltharin liked it within a split second.

SirEltharin - ‘Back to work hmm?’

LadyGrim - ‘Yep. Its all fun and games until the rat race starts again.’

SirEltharin - ‘Sounds Grim ;)’

LadyGrim - ‘You know me too well Sir. Anyways gotta go. Bye!’

SirEltharin - ‘See ya.’

See ya. You always thought it weird when strangers said that at the end of an online chat. Clients sometimes said it at the end of a phone reservation. That was understandable though; they were to come to the restaurant. But complete strangers? There was no such thing as “seeing you around”. However in the case of SirEltharin you were willing to let it slip. He probably didn’t think anything of it.

For a first night it was already quite hectic at Brunello’s. The room, although still far less bustling than usual, was filled. People were obviously eager to pick up their social lives again, the animated chatter of guests zooming around the room while you paced past the neatly spaced white clothed tables. Brunello’s was a rather luxurious restaurant and mostly businessmen and well-to-do families and friends came here to wine and dine. Tonight was special though, as a few celebrities were sitting in the far corner. Including a familiar face: Mr. Cavill, your eyes immediately falling on him as he seemingly was giving you a questioning look.

Perhaps he just wanted to order some drinks, you thought, halting next to the table and offering them your most kind, professional smile - ignoring the curious pair of blue eyes that tracked your every move.

‘Good evening and welcome to Brunello’s. Is there anything I can help you with?’ You spoke, the sentence fluently tipping of your tongue, your eyes wandering slowly over the guests. Most of them were unfamiliar to you. And Mr. Cavill..you tried to just not give him any attention as he was still burning his eyes into you.

‘We actually could use some advice on the wine. We’d like to start white, slightly fruity, perhaps French? Though the Italian one also sounds quite nice.’ A small blonde woman spoke, peering over her menu card.

As this was not your expertise, you called for the sommelier, stepping back to make room for him. And all the while you felt those eyes, gazing at you, almost brazenly. What was up with this Mr. Cavill? Or did you maybe have something funny on your face and did nobody dare to tell you? Shyly you excused yourself, leaving the guests in the capable hands of the sommelier, and quickly made for the women’s bathroom to check your face.

There was nothing out of sort when you looked into the mirror. Strange.

Peeking quickly on your phone, a habit when you were alone, you noticed a new message popping up on your Insta-chat.

SirEltharin - ‘I think we need to talk.’ - 30 seconds ago

Go to part 2

#henry cavill fanfiction #henry cavill fluff #warhammer 40k #figurine #miniature #painting #henry cavill x reader #secretcelebrity #undercover #nerdflirt #instagram #retributors #adepta sororitas

216 notes · View notes

secondhandnewsradio · 3 years

Text

SHN INTERVIEW: Sleep Walking Animals

by Claire Silverman

photo: Ryan Hall

Sleep Walking Animals, the indie-folk alternative rock band from Manchester, England, have just released their self-titled debut EP. Since SHN first interviewed the band at the start of the year, they have released two more singles, started playing live shows again as restrictions opened up, and have announced a co-headlining tour around the UK in October. At their EP launch gig at the Fiddler’s Elbow in Camden on the 20th of September, they performed their new music to a sold out crowd.

CS: Congrats on the EP coming out. When we spoke back in February, you mentioned your plans for the EP, so it’s very exciting that it’s here now. How are you all feeling?

Tom: Like it's about time.

Jack: “Angus’ Fool.” “Wild Folk,” and “Dance Laura Dance” are on the EP, so we started recording this EP in October 2019. So it's been a big process, and the EP is kind of about that process.

Tom: We didn't want to release things until we were happy with everything, because we did record enough songs back in 2019 to go on an EP. But in post [production], we were a little bit concerned that they weren't all up to the standard that we wanted. It was our first time in a studio together as well when we recorded those songs, so we needed to practice, we needed to get together more and get more experienced in the studio. Then we ended up going up to Stockport and using a studio called Green Velvet Studios and we laid down five tracks, three of which are on the EP.

Jack: So, yes, excited.

photo: Ryan Hall

CS: Is there an overarching theme across the EP?

Tom: It feels like it's very much about things that have happened to us in the time it took to put the EP together, and things that have inspired us enough to write about, you know, various introductions to people, to new experiences, illnesses, life events that sparked something within us to try to make a good song out of.

Jack: The whole EP spans across when we started the band in 2018 right up to now, so a lot of the songs are about growth and change. But the songs are about our growth musically as well, which is a nice kind of coincidence.

Tom: “Angus’ Fool” was the first song we ever wrote together, so the EP spans from our first song together to things we were writing in lockdown. So like Jack said it’s a span of two and a half years.

Alex: “Native” was written after we played Farm Fest [this summer].

CS: So now that you have more music out and have started to establish your sound, how did you figure out what genre of music you wanted to make?

Alex: It's funny, you just mentioned “Native” and I think that was the point that pushed us to fatten up the sound a little bit. I mean, the style of the song made us realize that we can push it a little bit more. And we have a few like one recorded songs, which are definitely a lot more rock-y.

Tom: We're inspired by all sorts of different bands as well. And, you hear it said a lot but a lot of great artists steal from other great artists and that's how they become great, so we're taking influences from people that we all listen to. So this is why it's hard whenever anybody asks “so what kind of genre of music do you play?” I can never really answer that because it’s changing all the time.

Jack: But I was saying to Bill the other day, (he's not officially in the band yet but he kind of is. He's the drummer who played with us on Monday) we've never really spoken about what genre we want to write. We didn't speak about influences, particularly.

Tom: We're just going with ideas. We all have our own little pockets of interest that we bring to the table and I think that’s what makes out sound quite unique

Alex: When someone brings something and then all of a sudden there's so many layers on top of it, which are coming from all kinds of different directions. And it's just hard to put your finger on what it actually is. But it's cool and we like it.

photo: Ryan Hall

CS: It seems as though COVID restrictions are kind of mostly lifted here in England. At least, concerts are happening again. What's that been like, through the pandemic till now, and being able to play live shows again?

Tom: It’s been a massive relief, really, it means that we can get out there and get some gigging experience, start playing our stuff live. It's a completely different beast to be in the studio, it’s a completely different skill to have. And the more we do it, the more we’ll improve, and the more people will respond well to our gigs. There is such a massive impact from a live gig that you don't get from sitting down and putting your headphones in and listening to the Spotify track. You get the performance, you get the live engagement with music, and with the people on stage. That's just palpable.

CS: Since you're all performers, you're all actors, how do you think your other stage experience impacts your music?

Jack: That's an interesting one. Because I think the three of us are definitely coming out of acting and want to follow music, solely. Obviously, Tom, you both really well. [Laughter] And Nuwan’s also still following both. It's just something that when we are playing live, and it's going well, and there aren’t any technical issues, that we can just give ourselves completely to that moment. And I think that's easier for someone who has trained to do that, which is kind of what we did at drama school, I guess, to give yourself to the moment,

Tom: Yeah, there are great artists and performers, actors, musicians who haven't haven't gone through a formal training process. I think it's actually more important than training. Personally, I find the two things very different, being onstage as a member of Sleep Walking Animals and being on stage or on screen and being an actor in a role. I think the only similarity for me really, is the fact that when we go on stage as Sleep Walking Animals, I feel myself put on a character. I'm not Tom, I’m whatever else that is.

Jack: John. [Laughter]

Tom: I think we all do that whether we realize it or not. Because we'd be crippled with anxiety and insecurity and all the other horrid things that sort of flood into you when you're onstage performing in any way, you know, those don't happen or they sort of diminish if you put on that guise. So I guess that helps in that sort of transition.

photo: Claire Silverman

CS: You mentioned Farm Fest a bit earlier. What was it and how did it come about? And how was it?

Tom: So Farm Fest is a new, upstart festival that myself and my girlfriend Lottie host and organized. It's on her childhood farm and it's something that Lottie had wanted to do for a long time, to use that land to provide a space for a festival, entertainment, camping. We started it a couple years ago. There was that little bit of time between lockdowns where we got a weird freedom in the summer of 2020 and people felt like it had kind of gone away. Luckily, we all collectively know a bunch of musicians and comedians. It started small and then this year, we did it again. We charged a bit more money for tickets, and we are getting bigger and better. It feels like it's sort of gaining a bit of momentum. And it was the highlight of our year, we got to perform on a mainstage with a great sound set up. For us it was a big crowd to play to who all knew the songs and were singing along. It felt like a real festival, right.

CS: You guys are pretty active on social media, at least on the Sleep Walking Animals account. You guys don't always take things super seriously, which I like. What’s your approach to using social media? What do you think of it?

Jack: I wish we didn't have to. I think we probably all do realize the importance of it because Instagram is pretty much the only way of promoting anything, which is so fucking sad. Yeah. And I thought today, because Joe and I are reading a book about Joy Division and the start of the punk scene stuff, and they didn't even have t-shirts, because they wanted to stick it to the man and that kind of thing. But you just can't do that now. It's just like times have changed and there’s so many bands and so many artists that you have to be on it. Like, it will only be a matter of time before we go on to TikTok.

Tom: As an unsigned band without management or label yet, you know, we're left to do it on our own. Like Jack said, it's our only way of letting people know about our music. We might as well try and enjoy it if we've got to do it.

photo: Ryan Hall

CS: Now that the EP is out, what are your future plans for the band?

Tom: World domination?

Joe: Recording.

Tom: Yeah, more tunes. We've got quite a few unrecorded ones. Keep doing what we're doing, really, following the footsteps of the people and bands and artists who have inspired us. Just keep going with it and see what happens. We're not putting immense amounts of pressure on ourselves. We do it because we love it. We do it because we think our music is worth pursuing. Yeah. Just see where the wind takes us.

CS: And you've got a tour coming up in October.

Jack: Yeah, a UK tour. It’s a co-headlining tour with Polary and My Pet Fauxes. So we're playing in different cities and we're all sharing the headlines slot and supporting each other at the different venues.

Tom: The 17th of October we're playing Leeds at Oporto, then on the 18th at Dublin Castle in London, the 19th we’re in Bristol at Crofters Rights and then the 20th at Night & Day in Manchester.

CS: Good luck for those shows and again, congratulations on releasing your debut EP.

This interview has been lightly edited for clarity and length.

Listen to Sleep Walking Animals’ debut EP here

Follow the band on Instagram Twitter Spotify YouTube

sleepwalkinganimals.com

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taeguboi · 4 years

Text

BTS HC - Lockdown

In which each BTS member lives with y/n

I’m hoping these imagines might lighten the mood for anyone who might be feeling a bit lonely right now.

Please see the end of post first if you need some context or wish to see the notes

Has good balance of me time and us time

steps back when you both need space

sitting in the back yard on some chair reading a book

taking in the sun

The restrictions don’t hinder him from making sure you both get plenty of sun and fresh air

it isn’t much but in week 1, he gave the back yard a little tidy up

turned it into a place to chill out

so there aren’t any flower planted or decor

but it makes all the difference

there’s chairs, a table and a parasol

to you, this is perfect

Spot of tea under cooler weather

or orange juice under the sun

Board games at the table in the back yard

you tried cards once out there but even just the slightest breeze...

“Goddammit!!!”

The card games are for when it rains

or for when neither of you quite feel like going out today

He swears you’re cheating at UNO

you swear he’s just really bad at it

turns out he keeps saving those wild 4 draw cards too long

which you gather over his last 3 rage quits

because he just slings the cards, revealing them to you

“You play it too safe” you tell him

so he plays it a bit less safe

“Yes! Finally I won!”

“OH! Look at that!” you smile

he smiles back because of how proud you...

“...it’s sunny again!”

‘Goddammit y/n...’

Shopping trips together

not so helpful when the rules get stricter

“One adult at a time please...”

oh dear

who goes in?

so you go in

“Crap! Namjoon has the shopping list!”

this period of time really shows how you complete each other

pretty much every day you each think

“what would I do without him/her?”

Random talks

he tells you about this one book he read

and now you want to read it

so you do

and you can’t take your eyes off it

you find a new love for reading

so sometimes when you both need me time

you remain in the same room, just reading a book each

Every day you feel enlightened

almost sad at the thought of going back to normal life

because you won’t have as much time for yourself

Jin

Everyone is suddenly having the time to cook from scratch

imagine Jin’s frustration since he did this all along

so when certain things he usually gets aren’t in stock

“Oh for crying out loud!”

you sometimes have to calm him down when shopping

and since only 1 adult in at a time it’s like a really awkward phone call

you’re just stood outside alone like

“For Christ’s sake Jin! Calm down!”

but he makes every meal taste great anyway

“Sorry it doesn’t have the usual...”

“Jin, please!” you reply

because it’s still really yummy because

“you’re still the best cook in the world, okay?”

“Okay fine...” he sighs “Thank you”

can I just add here food is the only time you both get hysterical at each other

He still low key hoard particular ingredients when he FINALLY can get them

and you have to explain how irrational he’s being

“We don’t need SIX tubes of tomato puree!”

“Jin... How are we going to use up all THIS fruit and veg before it goes off?”

But he’s not selfish, no

if he’s in a shop and sees someone elderly, he helps them out

“Would you like me to reach that for you?”

“Do you need any toilet paper? There’s 2 packs left - here”

“Here’s my number; let me know if you need me to run any errands for you”

ahh you’re lucky to be living with such a gentleman

Daily walks in the park to feed the ducks

“This is the best kind of exercise” he tells you “...relaxed and where you can connect with nature”

some of the ducks at the beginning of the lockdown are a bit nutty

Jin may or may not be low key scared of that one goose

“I swear it’s giving me the evils”

it may or may not have chased him the second day in

“Wahhhhhh!!!”

*Jin running away in the distance*

You cooked for him that evening

“Honey, I don’t know how to put this...”

“Aw sweetie it’s okay about what happened in the park; I mean you were the one holding the bread and...”

“oh no no” he replies. “this meal is awful”

r00d

but it’s okay

you knew the minute you offered to make dinner it wasn’t going to turn out well

so you both agree the kitchen will be his space to work his magic in during lockdown

and he somehow gets better than he already is at cooking

just woowwww

foodgasm

but neither of you get podgy

Lazy exercises together

chair exercises watching the tv

small periods of jogging in the woods

“oh wow, what’s that?”

you come across some random squirrel

and all of a sudden trips to the park for that daily walk

it turns into a nature watch

bird watching

luckily he forgets about the angry goose

Sometimes talking about what you miss

and then promising to do all of those things when everything is back to normal

so many plans

and it helps you both stay optimistic

because you just created a bunch of stuff to look forward to

Suga

Late night movie marathons

and accidentally getting into a routine of late mornings late nights

Cooking together

because neither of you want to do it

but someone has to

can’t live on instant food for all this time

Night time walks

less people, less danger

please don’t yell at me if we’re not supposed to do this in real life I haven’t actually been out that late during lockdown hahaha

it’s only around a few blocks

but deep talks, you know

There may not be much room in the back garden

but you have a ball and a hoop

basketball together

he teaches you to shoot better

“yes! I did it!”

*he hugs you from behind*

sorry that was gay

He’s actually quite chill about the whole lockdown situation

almost like he forgets the circumstances sometimes

“I think I might nip down to _____’s house today...”

“Uh, Yoongi, remember?”

“Oh yeah”

Detective series marathons too

the two of you trying to figure out whodunnit

sometimes even low key bets or light arguments if you disagree

a mildly sore loser when you’re correct

smug af when he is correct

Evenings lounging in the back yard with the drink of your choice

some quiet music on

random hypothetical conversations and questions about life

“what if...”

“what happened to...”

“don’t you think that cloud looks like a goldfish?”

Board games that keep the brain stimulated

why is he so good at scrabble

you can’t recall a game you’ve won

but no monopoly

not after the last time

“I want a divorce!”

“We’re not married”

“Yet”

tbf you might as well be an old married couple

because there’s those films you just watch over and over

close to unlocking the power of mind reading

“want a cup of tea?”

“omg I was about to ask that”

Some days you get on each other’s nerves a little though

so you each occupy yourselves with little chores

and even though you weren’t in the mood to do anything together

you’ve just made the house look great in a day as a team

and you’ve got everything you need just in time for dinner

“I’m proud of us”

“I’m proud of us too”

J-Hope

Picnics in the back garden

much better than one in the park though

there’s no packing involved

there’s cushions

sometimes low key fine dining

your favourite is the one evening picnic the other day

you had been shopping alone for the essentials

and he wanted to surprise you

he had set up a makeshift table out of a few old crates

did the cooking

the pasta dish was lovely

there was even dessert

okay the dessert was M&S

fairy lights

seriously you swear you weren’t out for that long how did he manage all of this so fast?

wine

staring at the stars

and there were blankets too

dozing off until early hours of the morning

finally coming indoors at like 2am

sleeping in til noon oops haha

then binge watching some random show together

and now it’s your new favourite

For some reason you have a big stock of popcorn

watching any old crap on the TV as an excuse to eat it

like there’s 3 films on this afternoon that sound shite

but you’re going to watch them all anyway

and the third one is actually really good

more popcorn more films

“we should probably go out at some point...”

whoops it’s been like 4 days now

and now it’s raining damn

fuck it, you go out anyway

dancing in the rain in an empty park

followed by shivering on the walk home

he gets in the shower first

but then runs a lovely hot bath for you

candles, bubble bath, the works

just so you can have some relaxing time to yourself

so thoughtful

lockdown doesn’t mean needing to compromise on showing you love each other

Jimin

You’re not quite sure how you got pulled into this

but Jimin decided to make use of his YouTube following

Virtual dance classes

and fun little exercise sessions for all the family

He does the dance classes solo

but he loves to flaunt you to the world even in lockdown

“Today joining me for this session... my lovely significant other, y/n!”

at first you felt uncertain and a little conscious

but thanks to Jimin your confidence grew

He helps you stay positive during a tough time

and you even feel like your self improvement has been going amazingly well

he even inspires you to make your own channel

to show the world what you love; [insert hobby/interest here]

people love the both of you

they go to Jimin’s channel to keep fit and happy

and your channel just fills them with joy

But not everything revolves around the virtual world

Care packages for all of your friends

food and other essentials get mailed to the ones that lost their jobs

and for the ones still working, a bundle of stuff for their mental well being

and a little drawing with rainbow colours in each

and a positive message

Woolly jumpers, cushions and hot chocolate

sweater paws

Sometimes in the evening you doze off

like you fall asleep just as you are

and you wake up to the smell of food and a blanket over you

Sometimes you miss your friends

and Jimin hates to see you down

so he organises a big surprise

his hands over your eyes as he walks you into the living room

“surprise!” you hear over the laptop

and then Jimin hands you some gifts

he asked them all a few days ago to send you something meaningful

and your heart just melts

and you may or may not cry a little in front of your friends on the video call

you just have to do something in return so

You make the living room all nice whilst he’s making a video in the garden

wow you’re actually quite proud

the lighting is just right

the improv decor is actually somewhat aesthetic

“Honey, why’s it so dull in here..... Woah, what’s this?”

“Dinner’s ready” you smile

and you have a gift for him too

you can’t wipe the smile off his face when he sees it

a scrapbook of memories between you and him

which you look through after eating

“We’re going to make more memories like this once this blows over”

Lots of online socialising

Calls with his friends

which you always end up being a part of in the background with your commentaries

Cute online double dates with Jimin and/or your best friend

Will try everything and anything to kill the boredom

“look what I found in the bargain bin at the supermarket!”

“Tae, I’m not really sure I’m in the mood to take up crocheting...”

but actually it turns out to be more fun that you thought

he has his little ways of making everything fun

one day you guys just find some random paints in a cupboard

and WOW

he’s so good at it

such beautiful landscapes

Makes sure that you both maintain some sort of routine

“best make sure we have an early night lovely”

“why? it’s not like there’s much to do tomorrow”

but no matter how sceptical you may be at times

he’s determined to be your sunshine

he helps you stay sane

makes everything sound productive

“because tomorrow we are going to make a playlist for when we walk, feed the ducks, go shopping, learn how to make a new dish...”

makes you a cup of tea just because

or breakfast in bed

the perfect companion

caring about even the people he can’t physically be with

“we haven’t heard from _____ in a while; we should drop a phone call or something”

but it isn’t just a phone call

it’s also a letter in the mail a few days later

plus a painting for the close friends

Dressing up really formal for a home date

3 course meal, courtesy of the microwave

then a slow dance in the living room

always the romantic

“tonight was amazing... will I see you again?”

“you are terrible Tae, you really are!”

such a joker

he keeps you smiling through it all

Jungkook

Tries to get you to go on daily jogs with him

“Can’t I just walk?”

“Come on, y/n; get those endorphins running through you!”

you try like once

*wheezing*

nope

Nintendo switch

Not that I have one welp

I can just imagine it okay

Lots of active games

thrashes you at Wii Sports Tennis

but you whoop his ass at Bowling

he does most of the shopping

so that he can go for a jog first

and also so he’s not out too often in any one day, two birds one stone and all that

Doesn’t quite always get the shopping list right….

“Jungkook?”

“Yes?”

“I wrote 1-2 bananas… You’ve brought back 12”

blames your handwriting

Small bits of banter like this keep you both sane

and he eats all those bananas in like 2 days

“What? There was no cereal in the shop”

someone teach this boy to cook please

*brings back like a crate load of instant noodles*

at least it means you’ve come up with something to pass the time

teaching Jungkook some basic meals

maybe beginning with breakfast first thing in the morning wasn’t the best idea

“Jungkook! I said keep an eye on it!”

“I did”

and he literally just watched the bacon burn instead of regularly flipping it over

bless

Singing to you whilst snuggling on the couch

bliss

meme-y dances before bed time

like you’ll be sat in bed maybe watching tv / reading

and something moves in the corner of your eye

oh my word Jungkook

*insert all the meme-y dances you have even seen him do*

the biggest dork

can’t stop laughing at his own silliness afterwards

jumps into the bed and puts his head on your shoulder

falls asleep like this quite fast

well you aren’t surprised since he’s always so energetic

Small campfires in the back garden

the best marshmallows you’ve ever had

and it’s so much fun

campfire stories

usually people have a guitar around the fire

not Jungkook though, no

*serenades you with a ukulele purposely singing out of tune*

has you in stitches

people in the neighbouring houses hear the laughter and some think it’s insensitive to be laughing so much

but seriously, if you can’t laugh, what can you do?

So I thought I’d make a post around the strange times many of us are living in. Whilst I get that some readers may not be in a situation like mine (UK) so a quick bit of context for you even though I made the location / country ambiguous in my writing. The circumstances explained in the imagines though are of course based on my experiences in England.

Right now, we are limited in what we do; only essential shops are open, (supermarkets, pharmacies, etc,) the country is being advised to go out as little as possible, (only for food shopping, medical reasons and exercise,) social gatherings aren’t allowed, our death rate has been increasing due to the virus (even our prime minister has it,) and our NHS is overwhelmed - currently more than 10,000 being treated as I’m listening to the news and writing this note.

I hope everyone is staying safe and doing the right thing by staying indoors and maintaining social distancing.

112 notes · View notes

ryik-the-writer · 4 years

Photo

Chapter 28: The Missing Pan

A03

Chapter 1: Pan meets a Wendy

· Chapter 2: Scars (Felix’s Story)

· Chapter 3: Day One

· Chapter 4: Revenge and Fireflies

· Chapter 5: Brighter than Stars

· Chapter 6: filler: The Tigress

· Chapter 7: Operation Spotless!

· Chapter 8: Operation Spotless: Reporters Down

· Chapter 9: A Dance with the Devil

· Chapter 10: filler: Felix and the Pancake

· Chapter 11: The Girl with Blue Eyes pt. 1

· Chapter 12: The Girl with Blue Eyes pt. 2

· Chapter 13: The Girl With Blue Eyes: Underground

· Chapter 14. Recovery

· Chapter 14.2 Recovery some more

· Chapter 15: Trapped

Chapter 16: Filth

Chapter 17: Fairydust pt. 1

Chapter 18: Fairydust pt. 2

Chapter 19: The Mystery of the Dead Nun pt. 3

Chapter 20: The Mystery of the Dead Nun pt. 2

Chapter 21: The Mystery of the Dead Nun pt. 3

Chapter 22: Reflections pt. 1

Chapter 23: Reflections pt. 2

Chapter 24: Closing

Chapter 25: Felix is helping Pan

Chapter 26: Temporary Fix

Chapter 27: The Search Begins

It was like a bizarre book club meeting, except there was no book and the meeting was held at Tink’s forest of a living room.

He had found Pan’s broken cellphone nearly three days ago, and hadn’t seen hide or hair of him since.

He was worried, especially as he saw less and less of Wendy roaming the town looking for him.

No, he wasn’t stalking her that would be creepy. He was just watching her from afar, usually behind buildings, in case Pan reappeared by her side.

He was worried about the little shit, even if he’d rather not think about him and what they were—or rather what they had been.

Their relationship was on Pan’s terms, as it had been the night August returned to Storybrooke two years ago.

It had been just a glitch on their timeline, a moment in history that would go unrecorded.

He had returned to Storybrooke after the money he pawned from several of his father’s tools ran out.

He was tired and sore, not sure whether he was back to ask for forgiveness or to take more from his loving father. His motorcycle was nearly out of gas, his tires shreds of rubber attached to rims.

He hadn’t realized the clusterfuck he’d road in on. That Storybrooke was practically on lockdown after Jekyll killed those two girls—and nearly a third, he’d find out later.

And—for his own sanity—Pan was waiting at the town line for the psychopath to return, with the blunt end of his camera at that.

As his head was spinning from being clabbered over the head from the hit, Pan had kicked him onto his back.

“Shit,” he had said. “You’re not him.”

“Lucky for me,” August deadpanned, wobbling as he picked himself up. “Want to explain why the hell you did that?”

“Monster hunting,” Pan had stated, staring at him suspiciously, offering him no assistance.

It was close to 3 a.m., a completely unreasonable hour for anyone to be running around—travelers or off-their-knocker journalists.

“Yeah,” August muttered, grabbing his bike and preparing to head into the town.

“Everything’s closed,” Pan said. “You’re better off sleeping in the woods.”

It was none of the little shit’s business. In fact it was probably best if he kept his entire being to himself. For he knew his father had taken out a report to the police.

“I’ll be fine,” he said. “Thanks for not giving me a concussion.”

“You might as well come back with me.”

The weight of those words still clung to August’s brain this very day.

That brutal, flirtatious, broken boy…

“What’s this about?

August looked up. Tink, Felix and Lily Tigress were surrounding him, trying to figure as much as he was what the hell was going on.

August stood, feeling the mix of emotions from the people in the room.

“Pan’s missing.” He said, simply.

The reactions that followed fit everyone perfectly.

Tinkerbell scoffed and rolled her eyes while Felix seemed to melt with fear. Tigress snorted.

“Have you checked all the holes in the city?” she teased.

“And ditches,” he replied humorlessly. “He’s not anywhere.”

“Maybe check in the depths of hell.” Tink muttered, flopping down on her couch.

“What happened,” Felix inquired, obviously the only other person in the room that had general concern.

“I have no idea,” August sighed.

“It’s probably nothing!” Tink exclaimed, visibly aggravated. “He’s always pulling shit like this, we all know it!” she looked around at everyone, their eyes dropping .

“I don’t know this time—” August began before Tink cut him off.

“He’s fine! He’s off screwing someone or ruining a life. He’ll come back and continue as normal.”

August blinked hard and reached into his pocket. In a flash he threw Pan’s broken, dead cellphone onto Tink’s coffee table, an inch away from Tigress’s boots.

The occupants of the room stared at the device like it was something that had just fallen from the sky, as if they had no idea what to make of it.

“I found this the other night at the docks,” August explained, swallowing a lump. “I’ve been looking for him ever since. It died a few hours after I found it.”

Felix gripped his kneecaps until his fingers turned white. Tigress glanced at him and then at Tink’s still shoulders, wishing she could reach into her back and unknot every single one of her muscles.

“It could be an accident,” Tink said, her mind numb.

“There’s something wrong here, Tink,” August said. “Something I don’t think we’ve dealt with before.”

Tink nodded slightly. She could accept that this was a bit odd, but she wasn’t ready to relent to a search just yet.

“Did you go through the phone, see who he called last?” Felix inquired.

A cold sweat ran down August’s back.

“Yeah…it…it was me,” he looked straight ahead, trying to avoid Tink’s direct gaze. “The night he wrote that story about you.”

Tink barely moved, the only indication that she heard August was the darkening of her pupils.

“Last time I saw him was the morning after that when Wendy showed up and…all the other stuff happened.”

“Have you talked to her?” Tigress asked. “Why isn’t she here?”

August thought about the blonde enigma who spent the better part of two days searching for the wild boy…

And then she stopped…

Not from falling into a fate like Pan’s, but rather a strange dark haired man seemed to be gypsying her away from her task.

Maybe she had the same mindset as Tink, that Pan was somewhere safe and sound but avoiding the rest of the world.

Or perhaps she’d finally realized she deserved to use her time the way she wanted and not focus so much on Pan.

When he’d see her in town, her gaze would occasionally stray to the streets and into shops, looking for him without trying.

But she wasn’t alone. There was someone else with her, some dark entity that always seemed to be just out of both their line of site.

“She’s looking for him,” August concluded.

“Have you gone to Graham?”

“No, not yet,” he admitted.

Tink smiled bitterly. “There’s your answer,”

August leaned forward. “Do you really think Graham is going to take this seriously with Pan’s track record?”

“That’s the best thing to do!” Tink yelled. “He’s not our problem.”

“Yeah, he is,”

“No he’s fucking not! We have nothing to do with any of this!”

“Yeah we do!”

“He’s your little fuck buddy not mine!”

A wave of sand coursed through August’s throat, cutting him off.

“Okay, that’s enough!” Felix finally jumped in, evenly meeting Tink’s glare. “He’s right, we have to help.”

“Are you kidding me, Felix!” Tink exploded.

“What he did was terrible,” Felix injected, putting everything everyone in the room had held in for days now. “But if you turn your back on him and something really is wrong, you’ll regret it for the rest of your life. Because he is family, Tink. He’s one of us.”

He stepped forward, keeping his distance after taking her stiff posture into account.

“And you know he didn’t do any of this to hurt you, even if he did,”

Tink scoffed. “I know that. But I’m so sick of him thinking rules don’t apply to him and that he’s invincible,” she paced a bit, thinking about the wild-haired boy to always brought so much chaos into their lives. Who was more trouble than any of them knew what to do with.

“What if he’d been alone that night?” She wondered aloud, knowing firsthand the type of cruelty Mother Superior could enact when pushed too far.

Pan was in trouble, and this time it was more serious than ever of them had ever seen before.

He was usually good at getting himself out of messes and suffering the consequences on his own. But things were different this time. This time he was somewhere none of them could find.

Tink groaned, tucking her anger away for later.

“When was the last day you talked to Wendy?” she sighed in August’s direction.

His lip twitched in gratification. “The day she told me Pan was missing.”

“Then Lily and I will check with her first.” Tink said, voice strong with leadership. “You and Felix check the paper and Graham and all his usual haunts.”

Before Felix could ask for more, Tink was out the door.

Lily gave the men a shrug before following her friend, not looking to cause a fight with the fiery blonde.

Felix sighed in relief when they finally left, trying his best to stay calm. Last thing he needed was to fall into a seizure.

“That takes care of that,” August teased. “You ready?”

Felix looked over at him, frowning heavily. He had no feeling for August, good or bad. The two didn’t see or speak to each other than the few times he left Pan’s place.

He wasn’t a bad person from what Felix could gather, but he wasn’t the best influence on Pan. He was too casual, not interested in settling down.

Adding gasoline to the fire of Pan’s soul.

Still, obviously he cared about him enough that he cared if he was missing or not, so some points were warranted.

“We’ll need to start with Graham first,”

“Why’s that?”

Felix frowned. “I might know the reason he’s missing.”

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Pan wasn’t sure where to target his latest wave of sickness from.

The swaying ship, the dehydration, or the infection building around his numb wrists from the metal cuffs?

He was more than certain he was developing some kind of bladder infection as well.

God he was tired.

Jones hadn’t been to see him in a day and a half, or at least that’s what he was estimating judging by the light that was coming in thorough the cracks of the ship.

He wondered what he was doing, especially to Wendy. Had he hurt her? Was he torturing her right now to get information out of her?

What did this asshole hope to accomplish keeping him locked up? Why didn’t he just off him already?

Or maybe this was it. Maybe he just wanted to kill him slowly.

As he nodded in and out of consciousness, he caught images of the people in his life. Wendy and Felix up front, Tink, August, and Tigress just behind them. Even Glass and Gold, and deeper in the shadows, Belle.

Each time he woke up, they would vanish, and Pan wouldn’t remember who he was dreaming about.

The smell of salt was enough to make him vomit now. He was dying, and he was doing so cruelly slow.

Would any of the people he kept seeing in that place between sleep and awake ever know what had happened to him.

Was anyone looking for him?

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

The last few days had become sort of a new routine for Wendy. She’d leave her apartment at the crack of dawn and visit Pan’s apartment…knocking just in case he’d come home.

But he hadn’t, and she’d let herself in and feed his fuzzy orange cat who had yet to be utterly concern about his master’s disappearance.

It was comforting feeding the large cat without Pan’s interference, she thought. No one to pick fun at her at every opportunity. No one to push her into a corner, away from her safest places.

No one to pick fun at her at every opportunity. No one to push her into a corner, away from her safest places.

It was unsettling, Pan’s absence. But there was an odd peace in the air. One that didn’t quite fit in Storybrooke’s atmosphere, but one that was welcome. If only for a short time.

Each day without the wild boy was like a blurry vacation: you knew each day was passing by but the details were unclear.

And somehow Pan was blurring from her memory as well.

She’d wake up in the dead of night with a glimpse of him in the air above her head.

Then he’d disappear, and she’d fall asleep without concern.

It felt wrong, to brush him off after all they’d been through, even in her sleep.

But there was an odd freedom to letting him go, especially if he didn’t want to be found.

She stared at the number on her cell phone glaring back at her, the one she’d called constantly in the last four days.

He doesn’t want to be found, she reminded herself. Calling him again would be fruitless.

She knew this, it was imbedded in her brain at this point.

Yet she pressed his number again and listened as his voice mail immediately came up.

It’s Pan. Call me back.

No, she decided solemnly, she wouldn’t.

“Hi, Pan…it’s…it’s me again.” Wendy chuckled. “I guess you know that by now…”

She paused, knowing if she were quiet for too long she’d have to start over.

She didn’t want to start over. She wanted to go forward.

“Look,” she sighed. “I can’t keep doing this with you. Everyday it’s a fight with you and I have no idea why. I don’t know what I did the other day to make you leave like that…but you need…”

She paused again.

“Well I don’t know what you need o honestly, but it’s something you have to figure out for yourself.”

She considered hanging up then, but she didn’t want to leave him on such a harsh note.

“I really hope you try, Pan, because I don’t want to fight with you anymore. After everything, I really want us to be—“

The voicemail beeped, inquiring if she wanted to start over or if she was satisfied with her message.

She didn’t want to start over.

So she hung up and headed to the docks.

Killian was there, as he always seemed to be.

Perhaps it was her need for new freedom that silenced the warning bells in her head, that made her drop the walls and inhibitions that had clung to her like a second skin during the last several months.

She approached him without fear, without any type of concern holding her back.

And she didn’t question him when he slid a manila folder into his leather coat.

“Is dinner still on the table?” she questioned.

He tilted his head, amused, though his pulse was racing. “I thought lunch was the next step.”

Wendy shrugged, stepping a bit closer. “I’m feeling…braver than I did yesterday.”

He chuckled, concealing the folder further into his jacket for dear life. “Well then, Miss Wendy Darling, tomorrow night?”

She smiled, relieved. “I’d like that.”

He watched her leave, noting the little pep in her step.

Such a lovely girl, he thought, and more malleable than he had originally foreseen. Jones thought he was going to have to push her more to fall into his grip, but it would seem she was finally crumbling.

He made his way back to this ship quickly, opening the folder full of information for his backup plan.

He stepped into his cabin, breaking out his best rum. This was a small victory after all.

Some of the glasses on his counter shook lightly, so little they could almost be missed. Jones rolled his eyes. He’d forgotten to feed his captive again…and water him for that matter.

Whoops.

He still hadn’t told him why he’d requested those files, what he was digging for.

Who he was searching for.

And how Miss Darling was involved was still being revealed, but time was running short.

He had been given orders to find out now.

He spread his new leverage across the table, frowning a bit.

The two boys, preteens by the look of it, caught his eye first. He hated targeting kids. It was so pointless.

His eyes traveled to the woman next. He could see bits of Wendy in her, especially in the shape of her eyes. She had the man’s jaw however…and his frown, he noticed with amusement.

A tidy little family in danger of meeting the blunt end of his gun.

Hopefully it wouldn’t come to that, he decided as he hid the folder. Hopefully, very soon, Wendy would tell him what he wanted to know.

The pipes sang from Pan’s struggle again.

He was already a dead man walking, and too tight-lipped to save now.

Feeding time.

#darling pan #darling pan fic #wendy darling #ouat fic #ouat #peter pan #felix #tinkerbell #captain hook

18 notes · View notes

thecassadilla · 4 years

Text

Written in the Stars - Chapter 2

Word Count: 3,574/AO3

Pairing: Kristanna

Love During Lockdown series: Serendipity (Prologue) | Chapter 1

Summary: Figuring out how to go on an in-person date during a time of social distancing would be a challenge for anyone. Luckily, it comes easy to Anna and Kristoff, who find a creative way to spend some time with each other amidst a pandemic.

Author’s Note: Hi everyone. I hope you’re all doing okay. I debated for a really long time on whether or not I should post today. The world has been very dark the past few days, and I didn’t want to take away from anything important that is happening. I ultimately decided to post because some of you may be using fanfiction as an escape right now and I didn’t want to deprive anyone of what little distraction you may feel while reading this. I don’t know. Thank you for all the love you’ve given me, I appreciate all of you. Stay safe. I hope you enjoy this.

As they pulled up to the unusually long drive-through line, Kristoff turned to face her. “What do you want?”

“I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a sucker for chicken nuggets,” she smiled.

“How many do you want?”

“The meal, I guess. I think it comes with ten pieces? I haven’t been to a McDonald’s in forever,” she explained.

“What type of drink?”

“Sprite,” she answered, confidently.

When it was finally their turn to order, he rolled down the window and relayed the order to the cashier. While he did so, she dug through her purse for her wallet. Once they pulled forward, she tried to hand him the cash.

“What’s this?” He asked, looking down at the money in her hand.

“It’s for the food,” she said, moving it closer to him.

He playfully pushed her hand away. “Nice try, but this is on me. And the real date will be on me, too.”

“So what is this, then?” She teased playfully.

His cheeks turned bright red. “If, um...I don’t -”

“Don’t worry, I’m only teasing,” she assured him, a huge smile plastered across her face. “Of course this is a date. A real date.”

He huffed out a nervous laugh. “Right. Yeah. I just didn’t want to jump the gun and assume that, just in case you...”

She rested a hand on his arm. “Just so you know, I was hoping that you felt the same way - that this was a date. An unconventional one, sure, but honestly, I think this is the best date I’ve ever been on.”

“Me too,” he smiled, the blush starting to fade. “I’m glad we’re on the same page.”

Just then, the car in front of them moved forward, and they were able to move up to the first window. He handed the cashier his credit card as Anna slid the cash back in her bag.

“So, I hope you like ice cream,” Anna said as soon as he closed the window.

“I do, why?”

“Because we’re going to Dairy Queen after this and I’m treating you to ice cream.”

He raised an eyebrow. “Are we now? Last I checked, I was the driver.”

“Well, I’m the passenger, and that’s an order, not a request.” She tried her best to sound stern, raising her index finger and wagging it at him.

He rolled his eyes, but his lips were curved upwards. “You’re bossy.”

“I know,” she smiled sweetly. “I’m serious, though. Dessert is on me.”

“Fine,” he sighed. “If you insist.”

“Thanks,” she laughed. “I’m really good at getting what I want.”

“I can see that,” he chuckled. “Look at how easily you persuaded me to go to Dairy Queen.”

“Oh, you barely even put up a fight!”

The car in front of them pulled forward again, and they finally arrived at the pick up window. The employee handed Kristoff the drinks first, which he placed in the cupholders, followed by the bag of food. He handed it to Anna, and pulled out of the drive-through, driving to a spot in a secluded area of the parking lot. He parked the car, and she began to dig through the bag.

“Here’s your burger,” she said, handing him the box. “Do you want me to leave your fries in the bag?”

“Yeah, that’s fine.”

She pulled her own fries out of the bag and balanced them between her legs. She took out her box of chicken nuggets, and then folded the bag down and placed it on the seat next to her. “Do you want some hand sanitizer?”

“Yes, please.”

She reached into her purse and grabbed the bottle, and then squeezed a dollop into his waiting hands before squeezing some into her own. After rubbing her hands together she reached for a fry.

“So, Kristoff,” she said, around a mouthful. “What were you like as a kid?”

“Hmm,” he hummed. “I was really shy. Very lonely, didn’t have many friends. But I really loved being outside, and I spent a lot of time hiking, when I was old enough. What were you like?”

“I was pretty wild,” she giggled. “I had a lot of energy and I hated sitting still. I think I made my parents want to pull their hair out sometimes. I didn’t really have a lot of friends, either, and the other kids bullied me.”

He frowned. “People really suck.”

“Tell me about it - I literally think I’ve heard every joke about redheads. I think it made me stronger, though? I developed really thick skin, and words don’t hurt me anymore, unless they come from someone I care about.”

He chewed for a moment before responding. “It’s good that you don’t let petty stuff bother you.”

“Not to go bringing up an ex on the first date, but I dated this really awful guy once and it kind of crushed my self-esteem. He loved to put me down, and made me feel like I was nothing. As horrible as it was, getting out of that relationship really helped me understand my self-worth. It took a long time to get where I am today.”

He didn’t answer right away, but rather stared at her in awe.

“Sorry, I hope I didn’t kill the mood or anything. I shouldn’t have brought it up, I just -”

“No,” he cut her off. “Don’t be sorry, you didn’t ruin anything. I’m really glad you shared that with me, and I’m glad that you can see past all of his bullshit.” He was debating telling her about what happened with Ryder intentionally sending the food to her apartment. He wasn’t sure if it would come across as endearing or creepy, but nonetheless, he wanted her to know the truth; especially because it made him a little angry that someone would treat her poorly. He wanted her to know that he thought highly of her from the moment they met, as presumptuous as that was, because she was honest enough to return his groceries.

“Thank you,” she grinned. “I was with him for a long time, too - almost a year. I still can’t believe that I put up with it for so long.”

“Sometimes we don’t realize that people are bad for us until it’s too late,” he explained. “It isn’t like it was your fault that you didn’t realize sooner. Trust me, I’ve been there.”

“Yeah?”

He took a bite of his burger and spoke around the mouthful. “Oh, yeah. I have plenty of stories to share, and I’m sure you do, too.”

“I have enough stories to write a book - between ex-friends and ex-boyfriends. I don’t understand why it’s so hard for some people to be decent human beings.”

“I just don’t think they realize that they’re treating someone badly. Maybe it’s how they were raised? I dunno,” he shrugged, and took another bite.

“I guess you’re right - I’d like to believe most people have good intentions, though. I don’t know if that’s optimistic or naive, but I’d rather believe that than believe everyone is out to hurt someone.”

“I don’t think it’s naive. Maybe they don’t realize they’re doing it? Isn’t there a famous phrase - ‘everyone is the hero in their own story?’”

“Something like that. Or maybe more people need to be honest with themselves when they do hurt someone. But what do I know?”

“Speaking of honesty, can I tell you something?” Now or never, he decided.

“Sure,” she nodded, taking a bite out of a chicken nugget.

“So, I’m sure you remember last week, when you brought my roommate’s delivery down to us?”

“Of course.”

“Well,” he said, his cheeks starting to turn bright crimson. “That wasn’t exactly an accident.”

“What do you mean?”

“My roommate deliberately sent the food to your apartment, so you’d have an excuse to come downstairs and talk to me.”

Her eyebrows shot up. “Are you serious?”

“Yeah,” he answered. “And this is the part where it kind of gets a little embarrassing - he did it because I wouldn’t stop talking about you.”

“Stop,” she smiled, bringing her hand up to cover her mouth.

“I know that probably sounds really creepy, but I swear I didn’t know he was doing it. Ryder - he’s kind of unorthodox when it comes to stuff like that, and I told him it really wasn’t fair to drag you out of your apartment when the world is going through...all of this.” He gestured wildly around him, alluding to the pandemic.

“He’s a really good wingman,” she simpered, dropping her hand from her face. “Can I make a confession?”

“Yeah, of course.”

“For that entire month, I kept wishing that either my stuff would go to you or your stuff would be delivered to me so I had an excuse to see you again.”

“No way,” he laughed.

“Swear to God,” she insisted. “It kind of makes me wish that I’d thought of your roommate’s idea, like, three weeks sooner - what an ingenious plan.”

“The reason I brought it up was because you mentioned your shitty ex and people picking on you, and I wanted you to know that even though I literally didn’t know you, I really wanted to know you. You were honest and decent enough to return my groceries, when some other person might’ve just kept them. I literally couldn’t stop thinking about you - or talking about you, apparently.”

“My life would’ve been easier if I had someone to talk to about you,” she giggled. “I couldn’t get you out of my head either, and I briefly mentioned you to one of my friends over text, which helped a little, but I couldn’t talk to my sister about it - she would’ve flipped out!”

“Why?”

She rolled her eyes. “She can be a bit of a control freak. It’s always ‘Anna, you shouldn’t do that’ or ‘Anna, you can’t rush into things.’ She probably would’ve said ‘Anna, you know nothing about him - he’s a stranger,’ as if literally everyone we know wasn’t a stranger at some point in our lives. Also, I think relationships and intimacy freak her out a little - as far as I know, she’s never dated anyone. Or if she has, she’s never mentioned it to me.”

“Huh.”

“So yeah, if I would’ve said ‘hey Elsa, I have a crush on the gorgeous guy who lives downstairs but I don’t even know his name,’ I don’t think it would’ve gone over well.”

He blushed at her revelation. “What did she say when you told her you were going out with me today?”

“Oh, I didn’t tell her,” she responded, nonchalantly. “She was sleeping when I left, so I just sent her a text that I was going out for a while. I didn’t say where I was going or who I was going to be with.”

“Smart,” he nodded, drawing his lower lip between his teeth.

She shrugged, popping a french fry into her mouth. “I have no regrets. It actually worked out perfectly; she hates that I have to leave the apartment to get the mail everyday and that’s unavoidable, so she definitely would’ve had a conniption fit if she knew I was leaving for the day, with someone else.”

“Are you going to tell her where you went? Or that you were with me?”

“I haven’t decided yet. She doesn't even know that I gave you my phone number, or that I’ve been talking to you, or anything.”

“I’m really glad you even offered me your number in the first place - which is literally the only reason why we’re here.”

“I offered you my number in lieu of a handshake,” she smirked. “Which I still owe you, by the way.”

He picked up his drink and took a sip. “I haven’t forgotten.”

“I was definitely going to give you my number regardless, I just wanted to play it cool.”

“If I remember correctly, I was the one who stopped you from leaving and asked for your name.”

She scoffed. “You thought, after all that, that I was really going to leave without telling you my name or giving you my number? I would’ve left the food in front of your door and ding-dong ditched you if I wasn’t interested.”

“Have you ever looked in a mirror? You’re completely out of my league.”

She huffed out a laugh. “Are you serious?!”

“You’re easily the prettiest woman I’ve ever seen, in my entire life.”

“Now you’re just bluffing.”

“I’m telling the truth,” he said, his voice overcome with sincerity. He looked her dead in the eye. “I swear, I really didn’t think you would be interested in me.”

She smirked and shook her head. “Oh, honey, you were so, so wrong.”

He paused briefly before speaking again. “You know, I’ve been thinking about the circumstances that we met under, and it’s really unusual.”

“We literally only met because our deliveries were sent to each other’s apartments by mistake.”

“What are the odds of something like that happening twice, though?”

“I don’t know,” she shrugged, raising an eyebrow. “Are you insinuating that it was fate for us to meet?”

“It’s just weird that the same thing happened twice, to the exact same people. During a time when people are supposed to be staying away from each other, nonetheless.”

“The reason why I asked is because I believe in fate,” she replied confidently. “They say lightning never strikes the same place twice - but in this case, it did. I don’t know what that necessarily means, but I’d like to believe that it’s a good omen.”

An awkward silence took over; the only noise to be heard was the sound of the engine running and the air conditioning forcefully pushing through the vents.

“I’m done,” he said after a few moments, finally breaking the silence. “Do you want to go straight to get ice cream? Or should we keep driving for a while?”

“It’s up to you,” she shrugged, tossing her garbage into the now-empty bag.

“I guess we could sit here for another few minutes, and then head over in that direction,” he stated, adding his trash to the bag as well. “So, tell me; do you prefer dogs or cats?”

“I would say that I am generally an animal lover, but if I had to pick, I would pick dogs. I love cats, too, but there’s just something about coming home and being greeted by a dog who missed you as much as you missed them.”

“Totally agree,” he nodded. “I’ve never had a dog, but I’ve always wanted one.”

She furrowed her eyebrows together. “You know our apartment complex allows dogs, right?”

“Yeah, but it’s such a big responsibility. I mean, now would probably be the best time because I’m literally home all day, but I’d have to talk to my roommate about it and do a lot of research.”

“I had a dog when I was a little girl,” she smiled, relishing the memory. “Every time I came home from school, he would be sitting by the front door, waiting to jump on me and give me kisses. He was my best friend when I didn’t have anyone else. I miss him a lot.”

“Why don’t you get a dog?” He asked.

She shook her head. “My roommate - the one who may or may not be coming back - is allergic. She wouldn’t even entertain the idea of one of those hypoallergenic dogs, either. But at the end of the day, her comfort in her home is more important than my wanting a dog.”

“That’s fair,” he sighed. He was very seriously starting to contemplate the possibility of getting a dog; logistically, it would be doable, if Ryder agreed. “You’re dangerous, you know.”

She laughed. “I know, but why?”

“Because now I’m thinking about getting a dog. You planted a seed in my head.”

“You were the one who asked me the question!”

“Yeah, but you’re the one who mentioned that our apartment allows dogs. And when I get home later, I think I’m going to ask my roommate how he feels about dogs,” he said, confidently.

“If you do decide to get a dog, I’d love to meet him or her.”

“Hell, you can come with me to pick it out,” he responded, but quickly clarified. “If you wanted to.”

“I’d love that,” she said, her face lighting up. “Just be prepared, I’ll want to pet all of the dogs.”

He chuckled. “I don’t want to get too far ahead of myself, though. For all I know, my roommate hates dogs or something.”

“He’d have to be a cruel person to hate dogs for no reason,” she pointed out.

“I mean, I don’t think he does. He’s really chill, actually. Sometimes he gets on my nerves, but most of the time, he minds his own business and we get along really well.”

“I had a really good relationship with my roommates, too. I don’t know what’s going to happen, but my lease is ending in August, and if my roommate doesn’t come back, then I may have to move out.”

His eyes widened with concern. “Why?”

“I can’t afford to live in a three bedroom apartment by myself,” she answered matter-of-factly. “It’s fine for now, but long-term? It’s not going to work.”

“Oh shit,” he muttered. “It would really suck if you had to move out.”

“I know,” she frowned. “And I could always look for roommates on Facebook, or by asking around. That’s how I found this apartment - through a friend of a friend. But I had a bad experience with a roommate back when I dormed, and I’m afraid of repeating that.”

“What happened?”

“She was just...awful. She wouldn’t clean up after herself, there was always a pile of dishes in the sink that I’m pretty sure she expected me to do, and she was always bringing over people without telling me first. You don’t even want to know what I would walk in on.”

“That’s really awful, I’m sorry you had to live with a person like that. Dorms are the worst.”

She sighed. “It’s okay, I only lived with her for the first two semesters. My next roommate was a lot better, but I’m still worried that if I let a stranger move in, it’ll be a repeat of freshman year.”

“Hopefully you’ll find someone that’s a good fit,” he replied, though he was worried about what would happen if she was forced to leave.

“I really hope so, I like living here. It’s so close to school, and there are so many things to do in this area.” She wanted to add ‘and you’re here,’ but she didn’t want to jump the gun. Whatever it was, it was still too new, and she didn’t know what was going to happen between the two of them. Sure, they'd already talked about going on other dates in the future, and they both seemed to be on the same page about a lot of things, but it still felt like it was entirely too soon to say something like that.

He cleared his throat. “Yeah, this is a pretty nice area. It would really be a shame if you had to move somewhere else.”

“I literally don’t even know where I would go. And if I can’t find an affordable one bedroom apartment, then I’ll still have to worry about the roommate situation.”

“I know it’s impossible, but try not to worry about it,” he assured her. “May literally just started yesterday, so you’ve got some time to figure things out. We won’t let you be forced to go back to New York, or be homeless, or something.”

“We?”

“My roommate and I. Or his sister; she’s awesome, and would take you in without batting an eye, but she lives an hour away so that really wouldn’t help you. Or I could ask one of my friends, I’m sure -”

She reached out and put her hand on his arm, dragging him back from his rambling. “I have friends, you know,” she laughed. “Thank you, though. I really appreciate you looking out for me. I just don’t want to impose on anyone.”

“I doubt you’d be imposing on anyone,” he said, firmly. What he wanted to tell her was that he also lived in a three-bedroom unit, and there was a spare, unoccupied bedroom. The only thing holding him back was that it was the first date and you can’t ask someone you’re “seeing” to move in with you that quickly - it was too forward, and a little creepy.

“It’s a lot to ask. ‘Hey, I have nowhere to go and need a place to stay, but I have an entire apartment’s worth of furniture and stuff that I have to bring with me.’ Not exactly a good selling point.”

“You can always put some stuff in a storage unit.”

She narrowed her eyes, her lips curling upward into a smirk. “Stop trying to use logic on me.”

“Sorry.” He raised his hands in surrender. “I just...would hate to see you leave.”

“Me too,” she sighed. “I don’t want to leave.”

He pursed his lips, and they were both quiet for a moment. He glanced over at Anna, and noticed that she was staring at her lap, her expression sullen. “What do you say we head over to Dairy Queen now?”

“That would be wonderful,” she answered, a small smile reappearing on her face.

#kristanna #kristanna fanfic #anna #kristoff bjorgman #frozen #frozen fic #my brain is turning to mush and i literally can't even focus anymore so i'm sorry if this sucks #my writing

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skeptycats · 4 years

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Vicky Archives #2

FOREST OF SECRETS - A mother’s decision

Vicky Holmes, the former editor of the Warriors series, has been doing short extract readings on Facebook since the start of the UK lockdown back in March. There’s some really cool anecdotes hidden within some of these videos, so I decided to begin penning them down for posterity and easy reference.

I won’t be transcribing filler, hedging and false starts but I’m including some amount of preamble just to be comprehensive.

Vicky started splitting the readthroughs into three parts starting with this one: the reading itself, ‘behind the scenes’ discussion, and topical creative writing exercises. I will be transcribing all three sections under different headers.

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Hello! Welcome to my kitchen today!

My reading today is going to be from the third book in the first series, Forest of Secrets. This was the first book I wrote with Cherith Baldry.

For the first book, Into the Wild, we took writing samples from several writers, a dozen writers, even, and Kate Cary was a new writer to my company and to me. We felt like she had an amazing voice and a real grasp of the sensitivity of the cats, a real feel for the story. And that’s how we chose her, through auditions.

For this book, I went straight to Cherith. I worked with her already on a series called Puppy Patrol by Jenny Dale, I think on a couple of other projects as well. I knew her well, I worked with her very well, and I knew that she loved cats, which was good to balance out my natural antipathy towards the feline species. So I just had a hunch she would be great, and of course, she was.

We’re going to read the prologue:

Cold gripped the forest, fields, and moorland like an icy claw. Snow covered everything, glittering faintly under a new moon. Nothing broke the silence in the forest except for the occasional soft rush of snow sliding from the branches of trees and the faint rasping of dried reeds when the wind swept through them. Even the murmur of the river was stilled by the ice that stretched from bank to bank.

There was a flicker of movement at the edge of the river. A large tomcat, his bracken-colored fur fluffed up against the cold, emerged from the reeds. He shook snow impatiently from his paws as he sank into the soft drifts with every step.

In front of him, two tiny kits struggled forward with faint mews of distress. They floundered in the powdery snow, the fur on their legs and belly matted into icy clumps, but every time they tried to stop, the tomcat nudged them on.

The three cats trudged along the river until it widened out, and they drew level with a small island not far from the bank. Thick beds of reeds surrounded it, their dry stems poking up through the ice. Stunted, leafless willow trees concealed the center of the island behind snow-covered boughs.

“Almost there,” the bracken-colored tom meowed encouragingly. “Follow me.”

He slid down the bank into a narrow frozen pathway through the reeds and leaped onto the dry, crisp earth of the island. The bigger of the two kits scrambled after him, but the smaller one collapsed on the ice and crouched there, mewing pitifully. After a moment’s pause the tomcat jumped down beside it and tried to nudge it to its paws, but it was too exhausted to move. The tomcat gave its ears a lick, roughly comforting the helpless scrap, and then picked it up by the scruff of the neck and carried it onto the island.

Beyond the willow trees was a stretch of open ground broken by bushes. Snow covered the earth here, crisscrossed by the pawmarks of many cats. The clearing seemed deserted, but bright eyes gleamed from shelter, watching the tomcat as he led the way to the largest clump of bushes and through the outer wall of tangled branches.

The icy chill of the air outside gave way to the warmth of the nursery and the smell of milk. In a deep nest of moss and heather a gray she-cat was suckling a single tabby kit. She raised her head as the tomcat drew closer and gently set down the kit he was carrying. The second kit staggered into the nursery behind him and tried to scrabble its way into the nest.

“Oakheart?” meowed the she-cat. “What have you got there?”

“Kits, Graypool,” Oakheart replied. “Will you take them? They need a mother to look after them.”

“But…” Graypool’s amber eyes were shocked. “Whose kits are they? They’re not RiverClan’s. Where did you get them?”

“I found them in the forest.” Oakheart did not meet the she-cat’s eyes as he spoke. “They’re lucky a fox didn’t find them first.”

“In the forest?” meowed the queen, her voice rasping with disbelief. “Oakheart, don’t talk to me as if I’m mouse-brained. What cat would abandon her kits in the forest, especially in weather like this?”

Oakheart shrugged. “Rogues, maybe, or Twolegs. How would I know? I couldn’t leave them there, could I?” He nosed the smaller kit, which was lying completely still except for the rapid rise and fall of its tiny ribs as it breathed. “Graypool, please…Your other kits died, and these will die too, unless you help them.”

Graypool’s eyes clouded with pain. She looked down at the two kits. Their tiny mouths gaped pink as they mewed pitifully. “I have plenty of milk,” she murmured, half to herself. “Of course I’ll take them.”

BEHIND THE SCENES

So that was the prologue of Forest of Secrets. I don’t think it’s a massive spoiler to say that was Oakheart taking his and Bluefur’s kits into RiverClan after Bluefur, who we know better now as Bluestar, made the terrible decision to give up her kits in order to become deputy of ThunderClan. She knew that a nursing mother would never be allowed to take position. She had to make that ultimate sacrifice. She had three kits, one of them died in the snow on the way, and two kits remained.

Now, when I started writing Forest of Secrets and coming up with the storyline... this series, you have to remember, was very much flying under the radar. It was still just a little series about cats. Yes, we were going to do six books instead of just the one, but it wasn’t selling very well. HarperCollins wasn’t promoting it massively, they didn’t feel the need to. It was just a bread-and-butter series. And because of that, I’m not going to say I was allowed to run riot, but I certainly had a lot of freedom with the storylines, and that meant I could come up with all these backstories for cats.

It’s so long ago, I can’t remember how I had the idea that Bluestar had given up kits, but I do know at the time I was very personally aware of the conflict between a mother, with young children, and a career. As a parent, and especially, I think, as a mother even in this day and age, you have to make really hard decisions. You can’t be the best mum in the world and the best at your job. It just tears you in half. And I wanted to demonstrate this. It was what I was living through at the time, and I wanted to demonstrate this in my books. And so, I made Bluestar the ultimate career woman, and she gave up her children. With terrible consequences. So that was the first freedom that I was allowed.

The other great freedom was that I was writing about cats, and therefore I could write about old characters. Now, when you’re writing children’s books, and as you know I’ve written many, many children’s books, normally your protagonist, your central character, will always be the aspirational age of your readers. So, for example, if you’re writing a middle-grade series, which is for ages 8-12, your central characters will be 12, because that’s the age your readers will identify with and want to be. It has this slight glamour for the younger children, and the older readers will think ‘yep, I get them, that’s what I’m living at the moment’.

However, because I’m writing about cats, cats age far more quickly, obviously, than humans do. So my characters could start off as kits, but within a book they would be apprentices, and then within another book they’d be grown-ups, and having a job, and having great responsibility, including over life and death. And they’ll be able to get married and have children, basically, in the cat world. That meant I could have central characters that aged, and that felt very new at the time, and very fresh.

Therefore, I was able to have in Bluestar a central character who had not only had children, but she had given up those children for the sake of her job. Including losing the life of one of her three babies in the snow, and then had had to live with those consequences all through her career. And it destroyed her mind. Therefore, in Forest of Secrets and all of the rest of the first series, I was able to show an old character, her mind disintegrated. I think if Bluestar was human we would’ve said she had symptoms of dementia. She certainly had symptoms of massive depression and post-traumatic stress disorder. We don’t need to label it, we just need to empathise.

We can really see how she was destroyed by giving up her children, and as series one progresses and the trouble with Tigerclaw emerges and she faces losing her whole Clan, it seems to her that her sacrifice was for nothing. And the pain of that is, well, I think it’s probably more than I could contain in words. And both Kate and Cherith, both mothers themselves, just captured that I think, the disintegration of an old person.

It’s safe to say that for Into the Wild and Fire and Ice, I didn’t love Warriors. It was part of my job, I was working on other things that I much preferred. Didn’t really like cats, didn’t really see where these stories were going... you know, just ‘bash them out’. And that sounds awful, but that kind of was the truth. Forest of Secrets? I fell in love. Fell in love with Warriors, I fell in love with what these characters could do, I fell in love with what I could do with them, and this is when the series became me. Became personal. When I opened up my life onto the page.

CREATIVE WRITING PROMPTS

So I’ve read my prologue, and I’ve talked a little bit about the freedom that writing about cats gave me, and especially writing from the perspective of an old person. If you’d like to use this for your own creative writing today, I’d like you to have a think about writing from the perspective of a grandparent, or someone who’s lived hundreds of years and is looking back over their lives. How would they see the world differently? What sort of extra perspective do you think that gives them?

Ordinarily, as an English teacher, when we’re encouraging our students to write from the perspective of an older person we often say go interview your grandparents, especially if they’ve lived through the Second World War, because that was a time when society was very different and very alien. We are in the unique position now of living through our own version of that war. Society is different now than it ever has been before, and so what I think might be interesting is to imagine yourselves way in the future, having gone back to living very normal lives, hopefully having families of your own or surrounded by children from your neighbourhood.

What would you tell them about this time now? See if you can get into the old person’s perspective, would you look back on this and say it was a positive time for connecting with your family and learning the good of the Internet? Would you perhaps be nostalgic? Are there things you might miss about this time?

But you can also be realistic about how scary it was, especially if you’re younger you might feel particularly that you can’t control it and you don’t know what happens next. I’ll let you into a secret: I’m a grown-up and I don’t feel in control, and I don’t know what’s going to happen, and I’m very, very worried about my family especially.

Have a go at writing today from the perspective of an old person. It doesn’t have to be about now, it can be something perfectly happy. Do your bones ache? Does the sun warm your skin? Think about how it would be to be someone else, someone of a different age.

As well as creative writing you could also look at your own books and check out the ages of the protagonists, check out the ages of your central characters. Do you have any books which present events from the point of view of an elderly person? At the moment we’re all about inclusivity in children’s literature, writing from all the different viewpoints, which is just a fabulous thing and I’m learning as much as anyone else about it. Old people have a lot to say, and it’s worth listening. We have a good perspective, even though I’m not nearly as old as I would hope one day to be.

#vicky archives #warrior cats #warriors #bluestar #forest of secrets #not designs

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donnanxblearchive · 4 years

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send me an au you wish i‘d write. // i wish you would write a fic where donna & gwen & martha are having fun together! ( @yoakkemae ) tagging @manaborn bc yea

Gwen had declared they all needed some time off. Donna had found it a little difficult to try to argue against her since she had Facetime’d her and Martha while she was taking cover and her jacket was a little too freshly singed. She’s sure that Gwen knew what she was doing; if she’d called from her ship, Donna wouldn’t of hesitated to steamroll over her ideas.

“I’m off Friday, actually,” had piped up Martha, even as Donna knew she could see her glare. “What’d you have in mind, Gwen? I might be able to trade my Saturday shift.”

“Martha, don’t try to twist yourse–”

“Yes! We could go to the mountains, really unplug from it all!” Donna had taken a breath to retort when Gwen dropped her phone with a muttered curse. Both women waited quietly as the sounds of whatever defense maneuvers Gwen took faded in, and then the phone was picked back up with a scramble. “How about at the cabins from my 16th a couple years back?”

Donna blinked, paperwork slowly becoming forgotten. “Over in America? In the Rocky Mountains?” Gwen nodded eagerly. Martha tried to hide a smile behind her hand, it didn’t really work. “It’s February, I don’t think it’ll be easy to find one for this weekend.” She hoped it didn’t sound like she was agreeing to this weekend, she’s sure she had other things to do this weekend. “Don’t you have things due for uni?”

“Oh, I’m sure missing one assignment won’t kill her.”

“You are not supposed to be a bad influence.”

“She does just fine while traveling around.”

“Yeah!” Gwen was now on the move, as her picture shook and she kept looking behind her. Donna was ready to chew her ass out over being so overconfident. “If it helps, I’ll get everything turned in early and let my professors know I’ll be going out on a family trip.” There went that excuse. Donna chewed on the tip of her pen.

“It’s going to be expensive.”

“Loosen your fist a little, Scrooge.”

“Oi!” She pointed her pen at the phone, ignoring the loud laughter in order to keep a mean face on. “I still have to budget my expenses, just like everyone else.” Not a lie, but not the truth either. Her budget was hilariously more inflated than well over half the world’s population and she was well aware of it. Still, she had to make a point. “Keep that sass up an’ see if I’ll pay your ticket, Doctor Jones.”

“Oh, pleeeease, Auntie.” She must really want this trip. It was always desperate measures for Gwen to not just call her by her name. Donna gave a long suffering sigh. “Just two days away, no aliens, no paperwork, no projects. It’ll be us, snow, and spa treatments!”

“I’ll get Eliza to see what she can do,” twin cheers erupted and she shouted to talk over them, “but only if she can move my own schedule around. I’m not makin’ any promises. And, I’ll cancel it all if any of your professors tell me you’re missin’ papers.” Gwen stuck her tongue out on that and Martha shook her head. “Martha, how long ‘till you can confirm your shift change?”

“I should know by tonight. We plan more out then.”

“Guys—” Looking at Gwen’s square on the screen showed just a glittering purple sky. Her voice sounded off to the side, and Donna assumed she was probably looking over Plumber notes. She hoped she was looking over Plumber notes and not taking cover again. “Wild thought, but I could just fly us there.” Denials from both Martha and Donna were quick, making Gwen pop her head back into frame. It was upside down, and mostly her eye, but the insult was clear. “Fine. Party poopers.”

“We’ll reconvene in the evening. Martha, keep savin’ lives. Gwen, stay alive.”

“No promises, loveyouguyssomuchBYE!”

Once seven o’clock rolled around, Donna was able to move her schedule around and Martha was able to trade her Saturday shift to get a three-day weekend. The three of them were in her office with two boxes of pizza steaming up her glass coffee table, and the projector displaying snow wear options. Gwen was more than a little distracted as her assistant was currently talking to her about their lodging options seeing as the original choice was all booked up.

“Wait, go back, go back, yes, that one! Where is it again?”

“Aspen, in Colorado.”

“It looks really cute. Donna, Martha, look, isn’t it cute?” With a few quick taps, Gwen switched the projected image. She very much ignored Donna’s indignant squawk, but quickly returned Martha’s silent overhead fistbump. “And we can get one that has bunk beds!”

“Eliza, I will fire you if you book the bunks.”

“Noted, ma’am.” Gwen pouted dramatically into her pizza slice. Martha gave her shoulder a consoling pat but wisely didn’t voice an opinion on the bunk debate. “There are three bedroom options, two bathrooms and a full kitchen. I can see about requesting one near the sauna.” Gwen gave an exaggerated gasp, nearly choking on her pizza. Donna rolled her eyes and waved a hand in silent agreement.

Once her assistant left the office to make the booking, control evaded Donna again. The iPad was now in Martha’s power, who was swiping along the different recreational activities listed. “Don’t you want to check the price beforehand?” Martha got a throw pillow to the face for her efforts.

“Let’s finish this up already before Shaun files a missing persons report on me.”

“You didn’t tell him?”

Donna squinted, as if the action would help recall her conversation with her husband. Damn TimeLord consciousness was only useful when it decided to be. “I mentioned it to him. I mean, I told him that I might be goin’ outta town this weekend. Course, he asked if it was just outta town or really outta space, he’s a bit hurt from our trip to Clom last month–”

“Sucks,” cuts in Gwen around a mouthful of pizza.

“–and I still haven’t been able to get the universal signal done to his new phone, so I’m sure he’s just being a worrywart. I hadn’t confirmed my schedule yet when I talked to him, an’ then I had to do some video conferences an’ the day just slipped away.” She shrugged. “I’ll just send a text right now. You two can choose what you’d want Eliza to book at the resort.”

She leaned back against her desk and typed out a few messages. Martha and Gwen were enthusiastically going over the different options, giggles freely sprinkled between them, and Donna felt a warmth blossom in her chest. She tried – and usually failed – to hide how much she worried over the two, and seeing them able to act so relaxed helped her own stress by leaps and bounds. A fun, Earth-bound, no-magic, and wonderfully impromptu vacation might really be the best for them.

“Alright, you two,” she gave a quick clap of her hands and swiped the iPad out of Martha’s hands, “the husband’s aware you’ve got me in lockdown. Let’s get this trip planned.”

The first day hadn’t been so bad. They’d taken a red-eye flight to try to beat the six hour jetlag, had a marvelous brunch in bed, and then powered on ahead with the day’s activities. Donna had forwarded Gwen the itinerary from Eliza, declaring that she wasn’t going to stress about the agenda as this wasn’t even her idea. Not that Gwen worried about keeping track of it all with how wide her smile was the entire day. They’d gotten wonderful hour-long deep tissue massages, popped in the sauna afterwards, a quick shower at the cabin and taken the town by storm. Which just meant going around town and peer pressuring Donna to tap into the TimeLord knowledge of the town’s history.

“You know,” Donna had said to Martha as they took a milkshake break, “I’m not too sure if he’d have a fit about this.”

She never had to specify who he was. Martha always seemed to know, always giving that small nod in response. “Taking days off wasn’t exactly his thing. For all he said to just travel, he was always doing something, wasn’t he?”

“God, yes. I had to wrestle him into taking us to dinner or heaven forbid the beach!” They shared a soft laugh. “I mean, he enjoyed it, that’s for sure. But I mean, I was talkin’ more about all this,” she tapped at her forehead, “bein’ so here, ya’know?”

“It’s not like he was shy, Donna.”

“Yes, yes, and he was an insufferable show-off in the worst moments. Still, it just,” she shrugs, not sure how to formulate her thoughts and that was definitely very human of her, “it doesn’t feel quite right to just be larkin’ ‘round town and basically pluck out the Wikipedia page about city hall with a blink.”

“Because it’s your doing it, or because he’s not here?”

There went Martha again, being all understanding eyes and soft smiles. Her bedside manner was truly spectacular, and it just made her all the more brilliant a friend. What Donna would’ve given to have a friend like her when she was younger, a true reasonable and supportive person. Introspective talks like these never felt intrusive with her, they hadn’t in a very long time, and Donna was finding herself more receptive to analyzing her feelings than she thought. As she kept quiet, Martha extended the same courtesy, without so much as a blink of impatience.

Gwen came bounding up to them in that moment, fresh snow dusting her shoulders and making a pretty picture as it melted in her hair. Without asking, she squeezed between their bar stools and took a sip from Donna’s shake. “I found a super adorable bookstore, it’s maybe a ten minute walk from here. Are you guys ready? It’s also in a plaza with some clothing stores, and I wanna max out Donna’s card before dinner.”

“Oi!” Donna tugged at Gwen’s ponytail while Martha laughed. “Don’t you have your own money?”

“I cannot afford everything I want to buy.”

“Maybe you should budget like our self-made moneybags over here.” Martha smirked. “Though I don’t think another thou will make much difference to her.”

“Yes, you’re right.” Gwen’s nod was far too somber. Any scraps of severity were demolished as she slurped the last dredges of Donna’s shake before giving a loud sigh. “Guess I’ll have to spend two thousand.”

“Fuck off,” Donna said with all the hostility of a baby duck amid their laughter.

The second day is when the nefarious plan came to light. Breakfast had been at one of the resort restaurants, in the type of place that Donna would’ve been all aflutter stepping foot in years ago. But the atmospheric instrumental music, warm lighting, floor-to-ceiling windows, and softly spoken waitress had long been part of her daily routine. By extension, it was certainly more common in Gwen and Martha’s lives than a decade back. As such, they all knew better than too be as wickedly loud as normal, and the conversation was kept light— to a point.

“Sorry, snowboarding?”

“Yup, our rentals and instructor are scheduled to start at one, and,” Gwen paused to take a forkful of her omelet, “Eliza booked us for four hours.”

“Four hours?!” Her voice rose well above ‘indoor,’ and Martha motioned at her. “Are you flippin’ nuts, Gwen?” Her niece shrugged and kept eating. “I’m not snowboardin’ for four bloody hours, hard pressed to find me there for e’en one!”

“You can’t tell me you’ve never tried it.” Donna scoffed at Martha. “What did you do when you were here last?”

“Watch over a bunch of sixteen year olds.” She pointed a fork at Gwen, quickly adding, “And don’t say your lot wasn’t that bad or so help me God—” Gwen deflated, but grumbled under her breath before sipping her hot chocolate.

“It’s not that difficult, Donna. Plus, you’re not goin’ in blind. We’ve got an instructor.”

“I take it you’ve done this before,” she said dryly.

“Years ago, yeah! It’s loads of fun, believe me. It’s just like that game the arcade has, just with more wind around you.” Donna kept as blank an expression as possible as she buttered her croissant without looking down. “Oh, c’mon, you know the one! Gwen,” she turned to the younger girl, “she knows what I’m talking about right?”

Gwen sucked her teeth and gave a small shake. “I’ve literally never been able to get her into an arcade.”

For a brief moment, a second even, Martha’s face fell. But just as quick she smiled the way that doctors do when they know chances are slim but they have to keep moral up, and Donna narrowed her eyes. “Well, no matter. It’s all balance and coordination, and even if you fall a few times, it’s going t’be fun!”

It was not being fun. She ate snow too many times to count, the cold was well past her bones and into her soul, and she was certain her ass was going to be covered in bruises. Gwen had, naturally glided around like a professional, all sparkling eyes and reddened cheeks. She looked like the poster girl for the slopes as her red hair whipped around her, making her an easy dot to follow. Martha had needed just a slight assistance from the instructor, and if there wasn’t near a twenty year difference between them, Donna would have immediately accused her of having practiced recently.

“Donnaaaaa.” Gwen might be whining, but that smile is still plastered on her face. “Don’t be such a sourpuss.”

“I will be as sour as I damn well please.”

“Donna,” cut in Martha as she gracefully came up the side and looked like a damn movie star taking off her helmet, “we’ve only been here an hour.” Donna eyes bulged but Martha kept talking. “I think you might just be overthinking it. I mean, what if during your travels, you would’ve had to snowboard?”

“I would have gladly taken my role as bait.”

“No,” the word was very forceful and Donna scrunched her nose at it. “You would not. You would have given it your one hundred percent effort and been brilliant at it. I sincerely doubt you’re givin’ more than thirty percent.”

“Mrs. Temple-Noble,” the three swung their attention to the instructor, “I will agree that you could be putting just a little more enthusiasm into your attempts. Often times your success depends on your state of mind too, not just your state of body.”

“Thanks Jared, I’ll make sure to blame my mind when I snowball off the curve.” The instructor gave a sigh, the first (and certainly not last) break in his professional demeanor. “However, I am pushing fifty and my body doesn’t work like it used to before.”

Gwen hums a little ditty at her words, which Donna can’t place but Martha can. She gives the younger girl a slap to her shoulder and Gwen looks only slightly sheepish. They seem to have a silent talk in the next few moments while Donna might as well be climbing Jared in her attempts to stand up. If she wasn’t so worried about getting frostbite on her ass, she might have interrogated them about their charades game.

“Ya know, Sylvia had mentioned that Nerys was gonna go snowboarding this year.” Donna had been about to remove the snowboard when the mention of her best frenemy come out. Gwen continued a bit too offhandedly. “I think she’d said she wanted to invite you, but you don’t know how to snowboard, so it would’ve killed the mood. Isn’t that right, Martha?”

“When I talked to Veena, she wouldn’t shut up about it. She said that—”

“Shut up, shut up. I’m not goin’ to have that fuckin’ breadstick think she can do better. You know who taught her to roller skate? Me!” She huffed and pulled at the hem of her snow jacket. “I’ll shove this board up her arse before lettin’ her win this, Jared, let’s do this again, chop chop.”

She missed the fistbump shared between the younger women in all her blustering rage.

It doesn’t take Donna long after that to get the hang of it. She’s nowhere near the level of expertise that Gwen shows, but that’s fine. She can at least go down the beginners slopes with them and scream with laughter once they reach the bottom in one piece. Jared finishes his four hours with them, but they keep on going until they can’t deny the sun is setting and everyone is being instructed off the snow. She’s sure to be aching in the morning, but she’s smiling the entire time Martha and Gwen are recounting the day’s adventure over room service.

The third day is short given their late afternoon flight. They wake up late, make quick work of their packing, and set out for a casual lunch. They end up passing through a chocolate shop going back to the resort, and Donna nearly melts as she bites into her eclair.

“What would your trainer say?” Martha’s eyes are crinkled up as she teases. She takes Donna’s shove with a chuckle.

“Sod off, do you have any idea ‘ow many calories I burned yesterday? I more than deserve this.”

“Snowboarding is a great way to start.” Gwen kept her gaze straight ahead, even as she kept her arm linked to Donna’s. “It really makes your body and mind work together, and counts on a sense of timing too. Really makes you use your core the entire time without neglecting the rest of your body. You know what else does that?” She didn’t wait for Donna to respond. “Taekwondo, karate, jujitsu, or—”

“Oh my God, was that the whole point of this? To keep pushin’ your martial arts agenda?”

“She has a point.”

“Absolutely not!”

“What’s the harm in learning a little self-defense? You’re not really only workin’ in an office. You still come across aliens and thwart plans all the time.”

“And I have a trainer that makes sure I can still run away before they lay a hand on me.”

They bicker, two against one, pretty much the rest of the day until they have to check out. She gives in and calls Eliza on speaker phone while Gwen is still listing the mental benefits of martial arts. The assistant sounds properly confused when she says she wants to book gym space next week. The look of elated shock on Gwen’s face when Donna throws her the phone to request what’s needed almost makes the forthcoming torture worth it.

“Was that so hard, Donna?”

“You’re not getting’ off that easy, Martha, I’ll haul you outta the hospital myself if you don’t show up.”

#[ drabble ]#yoakkemae #manaborn #i totally went overboard with this #i literally didnt know how to stop it #is this exactly fun? idk but i had fun writing it

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