#and like it still fucking destroyed me but because i'd heard it was good AND (crucial) i was able to immediately continue to the 2nd ep

[allocnddits]

welcome to my new obsession: F1

long ass thoughts about daniel x alonso!reader (daughter) im talking like 4k

warnings: SMUT (oral – M and F rec–, fingering, anal fingering, PinV, danny being kinda rough) with barely any plot, danny and reader being sluts, not proof read in lazy, AGE GAP (reader is like 20) size kink

"Are you not gonna kiss me?" you asked after dancing with him for what felt like the entire night.

"How old are you?"

"Old enough to be in here"

"That's good enough"

He lowered his head to reach your lips and kissed you hungrily. It was messy and you both tasted like alcohol but you couldn't care less.

You weren't so sure of how you ended up waking up in his hotel room with your dress unzipped, bunched up around your waist and no underwear. You sat up for a second, trying to remember who you left the club with, luckily, an alpha tauri racing shirt was laid on the chair next to the bed. Considering that you had a 50/50 chance, you were pretty lucky to get it right. "Daniel?" you called from the bed.

"Good mornin" he smiled as he came out of the bathroom, still damp, hair wet and a towel around his waist.

"Not so sure it's a good morning when I don'tremember what happened last night. Did we fuck?"

“You better hope not cause i don't see any condoms around here."

"Daniel, are you fucking serious right now?" you ask, before putting on the t-shirt he just threw at you.

"I'm kidding, alright?"

"Then what the fuck happened? Why aren't my panties on my body?" you asked almost angry at how calm he was about this.

"Hey, hey, no need to freak out. I just ate you out, alright? But I guess you were too drunk because you fell asleep almost instantly after you came on my tongue and told me I was 'too fucking good'

"Oh god, I'm sorry, this is so embarrassing. How can you be sure that happened? You were drunk too"

"Well, you were quite unforgivable, babe, pulling my hair and grinding on my face. That and the fact that I can handle my alcohol." he chuckled.

"Don't fucking laugh about this, s'not funny" you hit his stupid smile with a pillow. "God, my dad is gonna kill me. He was afraid i'd get with stroll, you know, but this? This is so much worse"

“Why am I worse than stroll?”

"Cause you're like, almost 20 years older than me. this is so messed up. How am I gonna get out of here, there are people outside." it was your home town after all, people knew you.

“I'll figure this out, okay? just wait a second and stop freaking out."

You got up from the bed, taking the rest of your dress off before walking to the bathroom. the second you saw yourself in the mirror you started washing all that old make up off, you looked destroyed. as you looked through daniels things, trying to find a face wash or a moisturizer, you heard him on the phone

"Hey, Lan, can you do me a favor?"

"Sure, mate, what's up?"

"Is your girlfriend with you?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Do you think she could borrow yn some sneakers and like, training shorts or something?"

"Why on earth are you calling about yn?"

"Well, we kinda had a thing last night and now she's like, stuck in here, only in her party dress."

"Are we fucking talking the same yn mate?"

"I would think so, yeah"

"Are you taking a fucking piss?"

"Not at all"

"Oh this is so messed up. you fucked your coworkers daughter?"

"Kinda, and i don't see how this is messed up"

"Mate, how old is she?"

"She was old enough to be in the club"

"Can you just cut it? who the fuck are you telling about us?" you came out of the bathroom, done with his conversation.

"Just Lando, I'm trynna help you out here" he told you before talking back to his phone "can you just please ask your girlfriend for the clothes? Thanks, I'll be right there." he ended the call, laying his phone on the bed as you stood right in front of him. "Don't be mad at me, alright?" he pulled you closer, in between his parted legs, and kissed your love handle, over the shirt. you ran your hand through his wet curls, locking your fingers in them when he grabbed your ass. "Dan?"

"Yeah?" he looked up at you with bright brown eyes.

"Think i can make up to you for last night?"

"Would love that, yeah"

You straddled him, hands meeting his cheeks as you kissed him. His arms wrapping around your waist, making you grind down onto his towel. You could feel him growing against you as you let the texture of the towel catch your clit. You really tried to drag out the making out but after a couple of minutes his tip as aggressively poking your thigh. “That was quick" you tease and you slide off his lap, going on your knees in front of him. You unfolded the towel that hung around his hips and almost didn't believe what you saw. "Fuck" you sighed.

"What's wrong, baby?" he teased, looking down at you and brushing your hair off your face.

"You could've given a warning" you joked before wrapping your hand around his base, leading it to your lips, you spit on the tip, using your other hand to smear it all over him, his cock so thick he fit perfectly in your fist. You started pumping slowly, looking up and holding direct eye contact with him, starting to feel hot under his stare. Your hand moved loosely around him, your palm feeling all the prominent veins of his cock before stoping at the base so you could leave a kiss on his tip.

"Stop teasing, love." he complained, slightly bucking his hips up so you took his head into your mouth. You did, gladly, sucking hardly on it before going all the way down. You couldn't quite take all of him in your mouth but you came close, the move making you slightly gag around him. You pulled away, pumping your hand while you recovered from it. You swirled your tongue on his tip, watching as he threw his head back, hands becoming fists that propped him up on the bed, you let your mouth slide down on him, always taking everything you could. Every time you had to pull away to breathe, your hands made up for it, either pressing your thumb down on his slit or running your palm against his sensitive head.

"Fuck, baby, feel so good, 'm so close" he groaned as you popped off his length with a disgustingly erotic sound, string of saliva connecting your bottom lip to his tip. "shit"

"Want you inside me. please?" you asked, taking your spot back on his lap.

“If someone ever says no to that question, love, they're going insane." he smiled against your neck before kissing down to your shoulder. His hand went back down to your ass, lifting the shirt you wore and spreading your cheeks apart, his long finger reaching for your opening. he circled it, spreading your wetness around before dipping into you, making you wiggle your hips till you got used to the feeling. As much as you just wanted him inside you, he barely fit in your mouth so you knew this was necessary. When he slipped the second finger in, your head fell onto his shoulder and as a gagged moan fell out of your lips you felt him smile against the skin of your neck.

“Think you're ready, baby?" he whispered in your ear and you nodded. Daniel pulled his fingers out of you, reaching for a condom on the bedside table and putting it on before lifting your hips till his tip tapped your hole. His hands on your ass started lowering you onto him, you were unbelievably tight compared to his girth and it had you squeezing him so good.

"Dan" you called, face buried in his neck, hands running through the short curls at the back of his head, "so fucking big." you sighed as you tried to make him bottom out inside you. he couldn't help but chuckle against your neck, he already knew he was too big for your petite figure but you were not giving up on taking him whole. You felt bad enough for using him the previous night, you needed to make him feel good.

"Don't need to take it all if you can't, baby" he said before laying back on his elbows, watching you struggle as you took him in, a smirk never leaving his face. When he finally watched himself bottom out in you he sat back up.

"Doing so good, didn't think you'd be able to take it." he whispered to your lips before crashing them against his.

Daniel lifted your shirt till he met your tits and started to give them attention, kissing and sucking, kneading and bitting, all of it borderline overwhelming as you were still getting used to him inside you. He had both of his arms wrapped around your waist, holding you as close as he could as you started grinding against him. He was sucking on your tits so hard, making you wetter by the second, as he moved his hips to meet yours.

"Dan, fuck, feel so good, so big" you whispered against his lips before kissing him, it being so deep and intense that you slowed down your hip movements. Daniel, however, made sure to increase his movements, fucking up into you. even though you were the one trying to make up to him, he was the one who seemed to be doing everything in his power to make you feel good.

With a particular thrust, you let a moan out into his mouth making him part the kiss and take his lips down your chest again. the attention he was paying to your boobs was driving you insane, all the kissing and sucking being almost too much. your moans becoming louder with every thrust of his as he let out groans against your skin.

"fuck, so fucking close, cmon, baby, don't stop." he said in your ear, making you shiver. you sped up your bouncing on his lap and started clenching on purpose around him. it wasn't long before he came with a deep moan in your ear. Barely taking time to enjoy his release, he flipped you over onto the bed, one hand beside your head, holding himself up and the other right down to your clit, circling it as he trusted a few last times into you, his softening dick still making you feel full. "come for me, baby, need to make sure you're done too" he whispered.

"so close, just a little more, please" you begged and he thrusted into you one last time, making you cum. he immediately fell on you, burring his face in the crook of your neck as you came back from your high. “‘kay, get off, still need to get out of here."

"yeah, okay. i'll just get dressed and i'll get you some clothes." He flipped off you, pulling his towel to cover himself again.

"have you seen my phone?" you asked, looking around the room. he handed it to you, along with a charger and pointed to the outlet by the bed.

You watched him get dressed as you waited for your phone to turn on, his muscles on display for you, gradually being covered by some shorts and a tshirt, leaving most of his tattoos uncovered. You couldn't help but let your eyes wander around his body, his muscles, his hair and his nose, you pressed your thighs together at the thought of riding his face and pulling his hair, having his beard scratch your legs, god, you wish you weren't so drunk the night before to remember how good he was.

"be right back" he warned, pulling you out of your daydreaming before leaving the room. as he left, you decided to get up to take a shower, you still smelled like alcohol and daniels cologne from the night before.

While you were in the shower daniel headed to landos room, knocking on the door when he reached it. "mornin' mate"

"did you fucking do her again?" Lando accused as soon as he opened the door, noticing his friends smile and his flushed cheeks

"none of your business, dude." he pushed lando on the shoulder. "thanks for the clothes, though, really saving my ass here. see you later, yeah? still coming with me?"

"sure, see you" he said, clearly just trying to get rid of daniel.

and he did leave, walking back to his room with the shorts and shoes in his hand. "m back, got your clothes" he laid it on the bed before starting to collect his things from the room.

"thanks" you said after coming out of the shower in your towel. you got dressed, annoyingly going commando since you couldn't find your underwear anywhere in his room, and started collecting your stuff too. “think i'm good to go"

"wait" he stopped you "here" daniel placed a cap on your head, tightening it and handing you sunglasses. "ll make sure you get your dress and shoes back, 'kay? will you be in spain?"

"course, but only on saturday. ill text you the place when i get there, so, like, check your dms or something" you commented already going out the door and checking your phone to know where you'd be meeting your dad.

the next time you saw daniel was on monday afternoon.

you went to a coffee shop at the airport after saying goodbye to your dad for a week. he was walking past and stopped immediately when he saw you, approaching your table and asking if he could sit.

"sure, go ahead" you weren't exactly happy about the situation, still afraid this would get to your dad, he wasn't opposed to you dating anyone but, this was his coworker and he was 15 years older than you.

"i got something for you. was gonna wait to give it to you later but i thought you might be needing it." he pulled a small piece of fabric from the pocket of his jeans and bunched it inside his fist before giving it to you.

the second you realized what it was you kicked his leg under the table. "daniel! for fucks sake, have you completely lost your mind?"

"just thought you'd wanna be wearing this again next time you throw yourself at me at the club."

"don't worry, won't be doing that ever again. wasn't really worth it, too much effort, not enough pleasure, you know?" you teased before taking a sip of your coffee.

"sure, keep telling yourself that. listen, i gotta go, see you in like, what, three days?"

"five" you corrected, also getting up from the table.

your next encounter was on saturday night.

Daniel had gotten pole position on quali and as of mandatory gone partying. It was actually insane to you how he managed to end up in the same club as you in a city as big as barcelona. maybe he saw your story and found out where you were but you didn't mind to check.

You were just sitting on the bar, mindlessly flirting with some guy that didn't have a single chance when you saw him. You decided to ignore, not minding his presence while you talked to someone else, but he reached you first. He walked over to you from behind so you didn't notice till his hand was discreetly on your waist, the guy your were taking to left as soon as he realized who daniel was.

"You gotta be fucking kidding me" you said, loud enough so he could hear it, slipping out of the stool

"Hello to you too." he smiled

"what are you doing here?"

"Celebrating. Got fucking pole position" he said, taking a sip of his drink.

"Are you gonna be able to maintain it drinking like this?"

"First and only" he lifted his beer bottle. "Wanna dance?"

Now Daniel wasn’t the best at dancing – though he did love to –, but when your hips caught his he knew exactly what to do, they followed yours to the rhythm of the music and his hands roamed through your body with yours on top. You danced through a few songs as Daniel tried kissing you, you denied, knowing that as soon as you kissed him, you’d want to go home with him.

“Just a kiss, c’mon” he whispered, beard scratching on your neck.

You shook your head, turning around to face him and taking his hand. “Just dance with me, yeah?” you smiled, starting to fold your knees and using his handhold as support, in seconds you were on the floor, twearking as you stared at him. You caught his lips moving as he cussed at the view, now if he didn’t go home with you tonight he would go insane. Daniel helped you up, watching you come up from the floor while swaying your hips.

“Stop playing me, we’re gonna do this or not?” he asked you with some level of dominance, something you found extremely hot on that moment. You nodded, pulling him away from the crowd by the hand, when you got out he just looked at the valet and in matter of a minute his Aston Martin was by the door. Daniel helped you into the car before settling himself.

“We can go to my apartment, it’s a bit messy cause i just got there today but, no cameras.” you suggested

“Is it close?” you nodded “lead the way.”

In about 15 minutes you were inside your house, he looked around as you kissed what you reached of his neck, his hands sat on your ass cheeks. “Danny, come on” you groaned against his chest as you unbuttoned his shirt.

“Just looking for somewhere i can fuck you, baby. Think i just found it.” he picked you up from the floor, caring you over to your couch and laying you on it. Daniel easily climbed on top of you, kissing on your neck and visible parts of your chest. Your legs wrapped around hism, making your dress ride up and pool around your waist.

“Dan” you whispered in his ear, hoping it would make him act faster. It just made him quickly grind down on you before going on his knees.

“Gotta make sure you remember how good i make you feel in the morning this time, baby.” he teased as he spread your legs, placing himself between them. Daniel hooked his arms underneath your thighs, settling you to be face to face with your heat. He blew against your aching core, sending shivers down your spine making you close your knees. “love the reactions your body has to me, baby, but keep these apart, wanna make you feel good.”

You threw your head back as your hands went to his hair, you ran your fingers through the curls and pulled him closer to you.He kissed your clit through your thong, smirking as he pulled it to the side and swiped his finger between your lips, guiding it to his lips and sucking on it. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head as you watched him do it.

“Daniel, stop teasing. Just eat me out already, please” you cried out.

He smiled as he pulled your panties down your legs. Daniel kissed and licked your thighs, ignoring your wish, the teasing driving you insane. Two of his fingers split your lips open, your wet cunt now completely exposed to him, he kissed around it, the creases between your thighs and your middle and the bottom of your stomach before planting a kiss right on your lips, anticipation killing you by the second.

“Danny, please. Need you now” you groaned not even thinking about how desperate you sounded, when he had barely touched you.

“You talk a lot less when you’re drunker, love. Maybe I should get some more alcohol in you before fucking this pretty cunt” he whispered as his fingers circled your hole, a sigh of relief leaving your lips immediately.

He grinned at your reaction before his lips met your heat again. They kissed your hole, tongue slightly dipping into you before making its way up. His flat tongue traced from the bottom of your vulva all the way up to your clit, lapping at it. His hand made their way up your waist under your shirt, trying to reach your chest but your shirt was too tight. “Off” he mumbled against your skin.

“what?” your question made him lift his head, letting you catch a glimpse of his lips, glistening with your wetness.

“Off. Take your shirt off.”

You pulled your top over your head, throwing it to the side before your hands made their way back to his hair. His fingers tweaked your nipples between them before palming your boobs entirely. He started fucking you with his tongue, penetrating it slowly as the bridge of his nose caught your clit, giving you the lightest of pressure whenever he moved his face around. His tongue left your hole when you stopped giving him reactions, mouth now working on sucking your clit.

“Danny, please” you moaned when his lips left your clit and started teasing by sucking on your lips. Your begging made him give up the teasing.

The tip of his tongue circled your clit before liking up and down your hole, his nose hitting your sensitive nub again. A soft moan left your mouth as he moved his head side to side, using his nose to stimulate your clit but he stopped as soon as you did. You looked down at him, about to complain but you caught a challenging look in his eyes and understood what he wanted. You started grinding your hips against his face, the pressure of his nose just perfect and in a couple of seconds he had you uncontrollably humping on his face.

“Dan, ‘m so close” you sighed.

He let you use him for your release as his tongue lapped at your dripping hole, the noises his mouth was making so unholy. His pants were getting uncomfortably tighter by the second, he needed you on his cock. Gladly, you, too, were desperate to have him. You came the second he penetrated you with two fingers, ridding down your high as he curled them inside you. His head left the space between your legs and came up to face you.

“Don’t go sleepy on me this time” he joked “wanna fuck you so bad.”

“Fuck, Dan. Let’s go to my room, please, need you.” you mumbled as he kissed your neck, hands snaking under your ass to lift you up. he effortlessly carried you inside, opening the door he guessed was the main bedroom and threw you on the bed. You giggled, watching as he unbuckled his belt and undid his pants before pushing his already unbuttoned shirt off his shoulders and taking off the tshirt he had under it. His hands looked for the zipper on your sparkly skirt and pulled it down, sliding it off your legs, leaving you completely bare in front of him. You pulled him down making him lay over you, holding his torso up with his forearms beside your head.

“Wait, wait, wait” he mumbled into the kiss, getting up again to take off his pants for good after kicking his boots away. He then laid over you again, kissing every single inch of your neck as you tried desperately to grind up onto him and feel his hardness. “so fucking impatient, you are. Have you got any condoms here?”

“Probably” you turned on your side, reaching for your bedside table and found a single one, handing it to him after checking the expiration date. You watched as he opened and put it on, mesmerized by how hot he looked in agony. Seconds later he was lowering his hips, finally penetrating you, his thick cock spreading you up and making your walls burn. “Fuck, Dan, so fucking big” your legs wrapped around his hips, driving them deeper inside of you.

Daniel groaned in your ear when he bottomed out inside you, the feeling of your cunt swallowing him being ridiculously overwhelming. His lips met yours as he started to grind onto you, hips building up the pace till he was pounding into you. All you could do was moan uncontrollably, if you saw the state you were in you’d be embarrassed but when you had his dick buried inside you it really didn’t matter.

“Daniel, please, faster” you begged, making his hips start snapping against yours. You smiled, feeling every thought slip out of your mind as he fucked your pussy, it hurt so bad but so good, you could feel the tears running down your cheeks.

When he lifted his face up from the crook of your neck he finally saw the state you were in. His hips slowed down reluctantly as he starred at your face. You were about to complain but he cut you off. “You okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, shit, don’t stop, Daniel, please.” you kissed him to show that you were fine, making him speed his movements again. He tried carrying the kiss but your mouth started falling open in pleasure, just whining and mumbling in his ear, you needed more, apparently. So Daniel lifted his body up and threw your legs over his shoulders, shoving a pillow under your hips, you cloud feel every single inch of him as he snapped into you.

“Do you ever shut up?” he teased, annoyed with all the options you had to give on his performance. He then took his two middle fingers and pushed them past your lips. The sight of you sucking on the fingers of his tatted hand driving him crazy. Daniel felt possessive and controlling and you weren’t complaining, felt great having someone wreck you completely. His right hand traveled down from your thigh to your clit, circling it ferociously because he could see and feel how close you were. You came with a embarrassingly loud moan just after a few seconds of his fingers on you, squirting on him and yourself. It dripped down your folds wetting his cock and down the back of your thighs that stamped on his as he still snapped inside you.

“God, you’re gonna be the death of me.” he admired the view in front of him. His fingers were still in your mouth but not sucking anymore, your hands loose above your head, all your muscles shutting down as you let go of the tension that had been building up inside you. He pulled his fingers from your mouth, and his cock out of you before straightening his back “Flip” his hands each side of your hip helping with the transition.

He pushed himself inside you again, the burning sensation less intense now that he had already stretched you on his cock. His thrusts started slow, taking his time to pick up the pace and fixate his eyes on your body. Your head was laid flat on the bed as you arched your back to the maximum, he took notice of your hair splattered out on the covers, of your waist and how small it looked with his hand around it and lastly of your asshole. It was wet from your arousal and release, glistening under the lights and calling for him, he could see it clench around nothing.

Daniel moved his hand from your waist, taking it to his mouth and sucking and spitting on his thumb before folding over you, your back to his chest as he circled the finger around your hole. “Breathe” he whispered in your ear watching you nod before pulling away to watch as his thumb entered you. “Shit” he moaned, felling how tight you were around him, the overwhelming sensation of penetration making your cunt and asshole clench around him in a synchronized motion.

“Daniel, please, just cum, can’t do it anymore, too much.” you groaned against the pillow, feeling overstimulated and used. “Fuck, cum on my ass, Daniel” you whispered, knowing it would drive him insane.

“Fuck” he sighed before he pulled out and ripped the condom off of him, watching your gapping hole clench. The hand that had a finger inside you pulled you closer by the ass, making it rest against his thighs and he pumped his fist around his cock till his cum painted your back with ropes of white. “Shit, shit, shit. Don’t you fucking move” he reached for his pants and pulled out his phone, his thumb immediately making its way back to your hole so he could snap a picture. “That might be the prettiest sight of all, babygirl.”

Daniel pulled out completely, pushing your hip so you fell on your side, your body immediately curling up and shutting down on the mattress. You were a mess, spit covering half of your face, your thighs slippery with arousal and now your back covered in cum.

“Dan?” he hummed “there’s a small towel in my suitcase, right on top. Can you wet it a bit and bring it to me? Please?”

“Yeah, don’t worry i’ll clean you up. Just let me sort myself out first.” he was slightly out of breath too, you could hear it in his voice “Fuck, baby. You okay?” you nodded against the pillow. “Too week to shower right now, yeah? We can shower in the morning.” he said after seeing that your thighs were still quivering.

He got up from the edge of the bed where he was sitting and grabbed the towel from your bag before leaving the room. He came back a few minutes later with a bottle of water and the dampened towel. He dragged it against your thighs, lifting the right one so he could get to your messy middle. Being extremely careful with it he cleaned you up entirely, making sure to leave his cum for last to not spread it all over you.

“Here, got some water.” you sat up against the headboard taking the bottle from his hands. As you drank your water you watched him put his boxers back on and pick up his clothes from the floor, folding them messily and putting them on top of your dresser, his keys and wallet beside them.

“Daniel, just leave it. Turn off the light and come here. ‘M tired.”

He did what you asked and got under the covers, bringing them up to your chest as you laid with your back turned to him. He scooted closer and pulled you in easily with an arm around your waist.

“I’m a cuddler, gonna have to deal with that.” he smiled against your neck, leaving a small kiss before tucking your head right beneath his own so you were comfortably fit in his embrace.

#daniel ricciardo #daniel riccardo x reader #daniel ricciardo smut #f1 #a writes

[writingshushf1]

Hey you! How are you doing? I was wondering if your requests are open? I'd like to request something angsty with mick, they are bffs and in love with eachother but its kinda like a right person wrong time? like, always something happens and they cant be together.

the 1

Summary:  I have this dream you're doing cool shit. Having adventures on your own

Rating: +14

Warnings: them fighting (and ending up hurting each other with words), angst

Word count: 1.7k

Note: gathered those two request that could work together. just sadness, not my best fanfiction really - just having a small block with writing long stories

masterlist

You were so stubborn. Both of you.

Not all love stories come to a happy ever after and (un)luckly, yours didn’t. As much as you two tried, something always came in the middle of it. So much, that you two stopped trying.

Here’s the thing: it wasn’t a new thing, a sentiment you discovered throughout you were getting closer. It happened just like an earthquake, big, destroyed everything it could and more than once.

The moment they announced that Mick was the Formula 2 champion of 2020 you cried out, happy for him. You wanted to wrap him in your arms, say the sweetest things and that you were so proud of him - yet you were hundreds of miles away. That still wouldn't stop you, that night you called him, you stayed for hours talking and pretending that no one else existed in the world but the two of you.

But how could you be the perfect suitor for each other, you managed to be the opposite. You were both stubborn and liked to have the last word, so often when something seemed to develop, you ended up fighting.

“Mick, for fuck’s sake! I’ve already told you: I can’t go to Bahrain, it will be in the middle of my exams!” You crossed your arms, sitting on the balcony. “I can’t just abandon everything and go after you.”

“But you’re my best friend! You’re the only person outside my family I can trust my life with.” He put his hands on his waist, stopping pacing from side to side.

“I love you, bud, I really do. But I can’t do this. I want to graduate being the best, so in the future, I can follow you anywhere, being your engineer.”

“Fine! Then I’ll find someone to follow me through the season.” 

Even if he understood what you were saying, he couldn't leave you the last word. He wanted more from you, yet he couldn't say how.

“Fine! Find a little fuck doll that only cares about your money and your dick.”

“At least she cares.”

“Like I don’t? Are you really insinuating that, Schumacher?”

“No, but if the shoe fits…” 

“Don’t you dare.” You got up, walking close to him. “Honestly, sometimes I really wonder if you actually value my friendship or you just want some hot girl to stroll around you so you feel more confident.”

“I do.”

“Then why do you talk to me like that?”

It was a few weeks of silence after that. Mick was too proud, yet that conversation stuck in his mind. The feelings the German held were confusing, at the same time he doesn't regret putting it on the line that he feels left out because you never had any real time for him, his heart broke at the thought of him hurting you. He was completely in love with you, a deep and long standing love. Something that you felt too, yet you never had a right time for it to reveal itself.

It was early in the morning and you were watching a movie alone, until you heard the doorbell, at first you took a knife and went to the door. You opened a small crack, however you breathed a sigh of relief when you saw your best friend, almost unconscious, being carried by a girl.

"He only knew this address. He had too many drinks."

"And you are...?"

"We go out sometimes. He's good in bed. You?"

"Best friend."

"Oh. Good luck."

You dropped the knife and took him in your arms, stroking the blond strands, which were messy. You giggled as he started mumbling some things in Italian mixed with German, leaving a kiss on his forehead. 

With great difficulty, she managed to get him to sit on the sofa and drink some water. The light blue eyes followed you as you tried to find some of his clothes put away and a towel, he urgently needed a shower.

"Sorry." He slurred, ducking his head.

"For?"

"For being a jerk." Mick hugged his own body. "I get upset that you never have time for me, hence why I want to fight with you. And you like to argue too.... And I say things I don't mean."

"We have very different lives, Micki."

He didn't say anything else, just let himself be led into the bathroom, where you helped him into just his underwear - which he removed without any shame. You turned on the shower and turned on your back, expecting him to go alone, however you felt a hand on the small of your back. A few seconds later you were only in your panties and bra, stepping into the shower with him.

"But I love you. That's why I want you around." He said as he let you wash his hair.

"And I love you too."

"No, but... I love you. Beyond platonic."

"Those are drunken words, Schumi."

"No. They are not."

He pulled you into a slow kiss, letting his tongue pass against yours, holding your waist and pulling your body against his. For a few seconds you had no reaction, it felt like a dream, yet at the same time you knew it was going to be a very big fall. Fortunately for Mick, you returned the kiss, letting yourself go with the moment. The taste of beer mixed with liquor from his lips seemed to get you drunk every moment.

That night, you slept curled up in each other's arms under the duvet.

In the morning, he was more affectionate, more needy, as if he knew he had to leave soon - which wasn't a lie, he had to travel to another country in less than 72 hours.

"Next race you're going, whether you like it or not." He murmured, leaving a long kiss on your cheek and walking away.

And again, it happened during that race weekend, with no attached strings. You two were playing with fire and not being scared about it. 

Some of Schumacher’s past acquaintances were on the Paddock, which made you cringe all the way to it. How did they get there? He invited them? No, he didn’t, however they were rich girls, models, famous, of course it wasn't hard to get a pass to see the wonderful boy they stayed for a week or two. Without a doubt, you were insecure, especially that he was a sunshine, so he talked with everyone who approached him - with good or bad intentions. So you ended up alone, inside of his trailer while he did his media obligations. You were so insecure, afraid of your friendship being ruined with all of this shit. 

After an hour, the blonde got inside the trailer, surprised, yet happy, to find you there. But his smile vanished when he saw that you had tear stained cheeks.

“Schatz? What happened? We’re friends, you can tell me.”

“Friends. That’s all we’ll ever be.”

“What? Elaborate that for me.” He sat down next to you, holding your hand.

“Mick… I love you, you love me. That’s true, right?”

“Of course! Unless…”

“That’s the thing. Love isn’t the only thing that can hold something. You confessed to me while drunk, after weeks we had a big fight. We can’t communicate properly.”

“But we’ve been friends forever. We always vented out our feelings.”

“Not the ones we feel about each other.”

“For God’s sake. Don’t tell me you don’t want to keep going on because of some hidden feelings.”

“Calm down and listen to me.”

“Calm down? Why should I? I want to fight for this!” He got up, throwing his hands up. “Why don’t you let me?”

“Because it's not the moment, Mick!” You also got up, letting tears fall. “You’re concentrating on your career, that’s going great! While I’m trying to finish university… We can’t be together more than 2 days every month or so.”

“But it’s not that hard, I can fly every time I want to.”

“Also… I don’t think we’re ready to engage in this.” You held his shoulders. “I have loved you since we were 18, I’ve dreamt about you, but… We won’t work it out. I would give it one year till one of us does something unforgivable. And I refuse to lose you over something idiotic.”

“Me either!”

“So do you understand what I’m trying to do? We still be friends, I’m not willing to lose that, but we push this feeling until we’re at the same page in life? How about that.”

“I want it now. I want the instant happiness of having you next to me.” He turned his head away, trying to fight the tears that wanted to fall against his light skin. His defensive side was threatening to come out.

“I’m sorry… I’m afraid I’ll hurt you.”

“Schatz… I’m not your ex.” He shooted back, looking now at you.

“That’s why. Tell me you’re not trying to fix something when you used to go out with multiple women?” You shooted at him, starting to get angry with his words.

“Fine.” He cried out, huffing. “But I’ll come back to get you. Because I refuse to have someone in my life that’s not you and honestly? I’m willing to fight for it.”

“I’m willing too.” Finally thinking he accepted the defeat, you let out a sigh.

“Which is why-” Oh, there he goes again. At the same time, a sob escaped your lips. “I want you now! Why can’t I have nice things happening all the time? There’s always something bad.”

“Mick. Stop. I’m done talking about this.” You shook your head, wiping your tears away. “I’m going. Get some rest, clear your thoughts and I will call you when I think you are better.”

“No! Don’t go like that!” He held your hand before you could step out of the trailer. “What if something happens? What if something happens and this is the last time we’re together? I know I hate you right now, but it’s only now, I can’t feel like that for too long.” His free hand caressed your cheek. “Please. A kiss.”

“Fine.”

His lips crashed against yours, a melancholy kiss of farewell, as if he was trying to bring up some point that might make you give up on not continuing that situation. When you pulled away from him, you held his hand against your face, leaving small kisses on it before squeezing and releasing it. You opened the trailer door, murmuring "see you later," at which he responded with "Ich liebe dich, Schatz.”

Right person at the wrong time always sucked.

#mick schumacher fluff #msc47 #mick schumacher imagine #mick schumacher fanfiction #mick schumacher #mick schumacher x reader #mick schumacher smut #mick schumacher x you #mick schumacher au #mick schumacher one shot #mick schumacher angst #mick schumacher x y/n #f1 rpf #f1 one shot #f1 fanfiction #f1 imagine #f1 x reader #f1 x y/n #f1 x you

[eleanorfenyx]

I have finished Mysterious Lotus Casebook, and here are some of my thoughts! (Obviously not spoiler free)

The cases are absolutely batshit insane and I loved it every single time they were like 'we totally collected this evidence that incriminates a secret suspect, just believe us and also don't question when the fuck we had the time to do this or when we figured out that we needed to look for it'. 10/10 no notes, that's a hilarious way to have a genius detective. Show us nothing, tell us everything, YES king.

That being said, I could have done with a lot less standing around having the supporting cast repeat whatever Li Lianhua and Fang Duobing announce, maybe in an attempt to make sure their genius is clear for the audience? I get it, but at the same time it felt a little too hand-holdy for me, especially in scenes where LLH and FDB had already discussed their findings between themselves before presenting them to the concerned bystanders. I can read between the lines (or else understand what has just been explicitly stated) without having every conclusion filtered through a slightly different sentence structure to make sure I got it.

Di Feisheng amnesia arc my fuckin beloved

Di Feisheng destroying his 'father' and freeing everyone in Di manor in a vicious act of catharsis that tied nicely into the main Nanyin bug-mind-control-thing narrative my beloved

Di Feisheng my beloved

The amount of times I was like...genuinely surprised he and Li Lianhua didn't kiss is both embarrassing (because I do in fact understand censorship and what I sign up for with these dramas and yet and yet) and numerous enough that I could...possibly...theoretically..write a 5+1 fic of every time I want them to kiss about it. No one hold me to that but it's something I think I'd like to do.

Re: the above point: because what the FUCK was that ending?!!! EXCUSE ME?! I gotta FIX THAT SHIT.

There will come a day when the strength of my hope for an unambiguously happy ending in a queer(-coded? is the source originally bl or is this its own thing?) wuxia drama is rewarded....but it is not this day. I must fix this myself.

Jiao Liqiao's laugh is one of the most annoying things I've ever heard. I was reaaaaally hoping someone would just up and stab her during one of her little evil laughing fits. At one point I was shouting "KILL HER, KILL HER" at my screen because I could NOT take anymore of her (unfortunately, I did in fact have to take more of her).

I still think her insistence on being obsessed with DFS is hysterical when he is so VISIBLY only interested in LLH. Explicitly STATES that his only life purpose is to fuck fight LLH again. Babygirl (derogatory) he is so fucking gay let's get you a nice knife to the gut instead, okay?

I thought the whole Shan Gudao plot was interesting, going from looking desperately for his body -> putting him to rest -> hunting for his murderer -> finding out he's alive/the mastermind behind everything going wrong (which I was proud of myself for realizing before the reveal, I'm normally bad at that) -> thwarting him with sass and superior martial arts at every possible turn -> killing him stone fuckin dead with beginner level skills because he's so up his own hole he can't see that's what's happening - was really fun!

He also has a SUPER annoying laugh he can fuck off

OH OH OH MARTIAL ARTS SKILL OF TRANS YOUR GENDER?! I MARRIED HER SO HER AFFAIRS ARE MY BUSINESS NOT YOURS??? ASKING YOUR WIFE FOR HER FORGIVENESS AND UNDERSTANDING AS YOU LAY DYING AND SHE GIVES IT TO YOU?????? OKAYYYYYYY

The twist at the end that LLH is the one with royal blood was so funny to me. Like it's a good twist and I love that Shan Gudao was just quite literally always a fuckin try-hard loser in ways he didn't even know, but also it was SO funny. Granny coming in clutch at the last fuckin minute with secret knowledge she just literally never shared.

LLH is such a smooth motherfucker. Shame about his insistence on dying when quite literally everyone (bar the people who suck) is begging this man to just live. Just LIVE DAMN IT!!!!! I really liked it when FDB begs him to just consider his own life as important for ONCE and remember that people care about him because YES his self-sacrificing and committment to Chilling Out Farmer Style was not the mercy he thought it was!

LIVE AND GROW OLD WITH DI FEISHENG YOU DAMN IDIOT (the likelihood of me resisting the urge to write at least the one fic for them is zero to none)

Unironically love spitting up blood as a plot device and this show is no different. The Drama. The Panache. The desperation of everyone around you because you have BLOOD coming out of your MOUTH and you are FAINTING. Poison acting up? Spit blood. Someone bitch slap you with their magical palm ability? Spit blood. Get stressed? Spit blood. Get stabbed? Spit blood. It's always good!

Okay I think that might be all I've got for now, if I think of anything else I'll add them in a reblog. I thoroughly enjoyed it, would definitely recommend!

#mysterious lotus casebook #my thoughts #for whatever they're worth #it was nice too because unlike say Word of Honor I didn't mind the overarching plot about the jianghu #and the magical cures/objects that everyone is racing/fighting each other to get to first #WOH was just plain boring outside of the interpersonal relationships in my opinion #but in this there were only a few times I really just did not care about the latest fetch quest and wanted to get back to the relationships

[stevetonyweekly]

SteveTony Weekly - November 19

Hey, y’all! Here’s what I read this week. I’m exhausted, and excited--my best friend is coming to see me!!!--so I don’t have anything to add this week. I won’t be able to do next week’s list because I’ll be traveling, so I’m gonna put up some of my favorites or maybe a trope list? Anyone got a trope y’all want me to do a list for? 

Any--comment and kudos for your authors, friends! 

~*~ 

pass through life at my side by silkspectred

Tony’s birthday feels like a new beginning in so many ways. Steve is back from his worst nightmare, Tony is back from his coma. They’re rebuilding the team.

It feels good to be back.

they move on tracks of never-ending light by silkspectred

In an alternative future created by a time-traveling Peter Parker, Tony Stark has been dead for a year. Steve can’t let him go.

this will destroy you by silkspectred

The screen flashes in front of his eyes. It takes him entire seconds to realize that it’s an incoming call.

shelter from the storm by silkspectred 

Tony adopts a baby. Guess who's Majorly Fucked Up™ about it.

Slut Era by BladeoftheNebula

Tony never meant to become the campus bicycle but since that was apparently what was expected of him he figured it was easier just to lean into it.

He just never expected Steve Rogers would ever want to take a ride.

submerge me in your will by captainstars 

“Hey,” Tony says. Steve’s heart thunders in his chest, his hands twitch by his side and he folds them under his chest to keep them from doing something stupid. They just look at each other for a moment. Tony registers the signs of age around Steve’s eyes, the glimpses of silver in the pale blonde of Steve’s hair. Steve takes in the pinked scar curving around Tony’s eye and jaw, and his prosthetic arm.

Steve feels like he’s a second away from breaking apart after months of clinging onto the pieces of himself. “Hey,” he replies, instead of all the other things he wants to say.

Marks On Your Skin by Becci_chan

Steve still wondered what Natasha was trying to achieve by making him confess his feelings for Tony. She was right, of course she was. It didn’t mean Steve wanted to admit it in front of her. Or in a place where Tony could come in any time. He had almost heard him say he wasn’t in love with him. Steve wasn’t sure which would have been worse.

Not One of Blood by RurouniHime

It’s just another Sunday, until it isn’t, and Tony’s own life becomes the very last thing he’s concerned about.

A Wish Your Heart Makes by Carsonian

The absolute last thing Steve's expecting is Tony Stark, and so it's fairly in character for the man to be standing on the other side of the door.

"Hi." Tony looks impatient, greeting barely out before he's walking past Steve and into the apartment. 

The First Time I Went Dancing Sober by schemingreader 

Steve Rogers is a great physical therapist who works with sick kids. Tony Stark is a damaged biotech engineering genius who really wants to be one of the good guys.

Inevitable by Naxa1818

After Tony lost a bet to Steve he has to go through a week of basic training. If only he hadn't just had a revelation about the super soldier. It was going to be a long week.

On the Road We Find the Journey Home by navaan 

In the Aftermath of Secret Empire, Steve goes on his Road Trip to find out who Captain America can be after Hyda!Cap put fear into the hearts' of the people who used to cheer for him. His thoughts trail back to Tony.

Side Effects by elimymoons

"So what I'd like to propose," Tony continued on, "is for you to let me help you out a little, yeah? We'll work off some of this energy, some of this adrenaline, and you don't have to worry about hurting yourself anymore, okay?"

Steve's in a bit of trouble. Tony wants to help him out. Sexily.

Out of Order by archwrites (Arch) 

Look, Steve wants to like Tony, but the man is impossible. Frankly, Steve's kind of a mess, too. Hatesex, pining, some angst, a little fluff, friendship, more sex, and even a little plot (a very little). But not in that order.

#stevetony weekly #steve rogers #tony stark #stevetony #stony #iron man #captain america #stevetony fic #stony fic #fic rec

[meredithbeckham]

the tortured poets department. songs one through five.

i was supposed to be sent away.

they forgot to come and get me.

i was a functioning alcoholic.

i hope you're okay.

you're the reason, and no one's here to blame.

what about your quiet treason?

we were forever running.

sometimes you ask about the weather.

your wife waters flowers.

i want to kill her/him.

all my mornings are monday stuck in endless februrary.

i took the miracle 'move on' drug. the effects were temporary.

i love you, it's ruining my life.

i touched you only for a fortnight.

but i touched you.

my husband is cheating.

i called you up, but you won't pick up.

i think some things i never say.

who uses typewriters anyway?

you're in self-sabotage mode, throwing spikes down the road.

i've seen this episode and still love the show.

who else decodes you?

who's gonna hold you, if not me?

who's gonna know you, if not me?

i scratch your head, you fall asleep.

i've read this one where you come undone.

i chose this cyclone with you.

sometimes i wonder if you're gonna screw this up with me.

you told lucy you'd kill yourself if i ever leave.

i felt seen.

everyone we know understands why it's meant to be. because we're crazy.

that's the closest i've come to my heart exploding.

here we go again.

you should've seen him when he first got me.

my boy only breaks his favorite toys.

i'm the queen of sand castles he destroys.

it fit too right, puzzle pieces in the dead of night.

i should have known it was a matter of time.

there was a litany of reasons why we could've played for keeps this time.

i know i'm just repeating myself.

pull the string, and i'll tell you that he runs because he loves me.

he saw forever so he smashed it up.

once i fix me, he's gonna miss me.

he was my best friend.

i felt more when we played pretend.

told me i'm better off. but i'm not.

tell me i was the chosen one.

showed me that this world is bigger than us, then sent me back where i came from.

for a moment i knew cosmic love.

now i'm down bad, crying at the gym.

everything comes out teenage petulance.

fuck it if i can't have him.

i might just die, it would make no difference.

fuck it if i can't have us.

i might just not get up.

i might stay down.

did you take all my old clothes?

that somehow seems so hollow now.

they'll say i'm nuts if i talk about the existence of you.

for a moment, i was heaven struck.

i loved your hostile take-overs.

how dare you say that it's-?

i'll build you a fort on some planet where they can all understand it.

how dare you think it's romantic, leaving me safe and stranded?

fuck it, i was in love.

so fuck you, if i can't have us.

like i lost my twin.

i saw in my mind ferry lights through the mist.

i kept calm and carried the weight of the rift.

pulled him in tighter each time he was drifting away.

my spine split from carrying us up the hell.

i stopped trying to make him laugh.

how much sad did you think i had in me?

so long, london.

you'll find someone.

i didn't opt in to be your odd man out.

i founded the club she's heard great things about.

i left all i knew.

you left me at the house by the heath.

i stopped cpr. after all, it's no use.

the spirit was gone.

i'm pissed off you let me give all that youth for free.

i'll find someone.

you say i abandoned the ship, but i was going down with it.

my friends said it isn't right to be scared.

every breath feels like the rarest air when you're not sure if he wants to be there.

how much tragedy did you think i had in me?

how long did you think i'd go before i'd self-implode?

how long did you think i'd go before i'd have to go be free?

you swore you loved me, but where were the clues?

i died on the altar waiting for the proof.

you sacrificed us to the gods of your bluest days.

i'm just getting color back into my face.

i'm just mad 'cause i loved this place for so long.

had a good run, a moment of warm sun.

i'm not the one.

two graves, one gun.

#rp meme #sentence starters #ask memes #rp memes #rp prompts #inbox memes #taylor swift memes

[theambivalentagender]

I love your comic!! What inspired you to share Zekes story?

There's a lot to this answer so buckle up.

I've always been a writer, ever since I was a little kid telling stories has been my entire life's goal. But its been a struggle, and for a long time I've felt kinda lost in trying to survive taking soul sucking desk jobs. It honestly destroyed any desire I had to create.

And then at the beginning of 2022 I got abruptly fired (for what I don't think are honest reasons but that's another story). And then I found myself just not being able to land a new job no matter what I did - I worked in a tech-adjacent industry and know others in similar positions also have had these issues. Weeks turned into months, and my mental health took a nosedive.

That summer I noticed one of my long time close friends kept popping up on steam playing Stardew Valley at odd hours in the morning. I'd heard of the game before, I loved farming sims, and I really needed a distraction. So I finally bought it.

Long story short, several hours into the game this motherfucker hits me up with this line:

So you can imagine what that did to my psyche. I got so god damn invested in the game. Like I do with any game, I started modding the crap out of it, mostly to add more lines for Shane. And then I found myself imagining my own little story with my farmer.

For a good while this was just a dumb headcanon story I had every time I played Stardew. But then I found myself actually plotting things out, connecting different aspects of SDV that were "unexplained" or "implied" with the story I was developing in my head. And then I realized - I was making a story again. I was feeling the exact same way I used to feel when I would plan out and write a play, or a short story, or one of my many unfinished novels. It was such a good feeling, and I started coming around to the idea that I shouldn't just keep this story in my head.

I dealt with a lot of self doubt over it of course. The last time I wrote anything like fanfiction was when I was 10 and it was a HP fanfic where I misspelled Slytherin in five different ways. Some part of me felt like it would be wasting time because I wouldn't make money off of it. Another part of me worried I'd be mocked for writing an entire self-indulgent story about a borderline self-insert character romancing a grumpy pixel man, when I was nearly 30 living in an apartment with a long term partner and shouldn't be doing such *childish things*.

I lurked around the SDV fandom for a long time before actually posting anything, and seeing other people, often people close to my own age, doing exactly what I was afraid of because fuck it, we're adults and we get to decide what that means, really helped. It also helped to see a positive community praising and supporting creators of all skill levels.

As for the money thing, I ended up "justifying" it to myself that if I made myself draw just about every day working on the comic (since I had decided to make it a comic rather than a fanfic), that would help me bring my art skills up to par with my writing skills. And, well, it would probably help my mental health if I had something productive to work on while I still looked for a job, because there's only so many times you can rotate between various video games.

I honestly didn't expect the comic to get as much attention as it has. But I told myself even if nobody cared about it, I'd make it for the one person who wanted to see this story play out - me.

#personal #asks #valley echoes asides

[africanmorning]

This didn't happen very recently, but at some point within the past couple years I finally managed to see the first episode of Avatar: The Last Airbender, and man was that a huge perspective shift for me.

See, I've already seen pieces of ATLA before. When I was a kid, someone gushed to me about how good the show was and showed me a couple random episodes completely out of context. I hated it on sight, for pretty much all the same reasons I hated most other children's media at the time. If you had asked me then, I would have simply said that I thought the show was stupid. But after some time, I realized that no amount of "stupidity" explained the resentment and sheer anger that these shows, including ATLA, created in me at the time. The problem wasn't that the shows were "stupid," the problem was that the shows were fun.

Fun was not something I got to experience a lot of in my childhood. If I had to pick out a single, most defining aspect of it, I'd probably say either "anxiety" or "loneliness." For as long as I can remember, I knew that I had a lot of expectations that I needed to meet, and mistakes were not tolerated. You could say that I was a "high-performing, very well-behaved" child.

So, imagine, then, how I felt watching TV shows where the kids were silly, goofed off, and made bad choices that often resulted in nothing more than a slap on a wrist—all portrayed with a casual air of "These are children! This is what childhood is like!" Can you understand how infuriating that was to someone like me? To be shown, as far as I was concerned, a fake, fanciful lie? A lie that I was sure was even making my life worse, because it must be convincing children and adults that children are irresponsible fools, and if more adults knew that children could be responsible, and smart, and obedient . . . then maybe they would treat me better.

Over time, I grew less judgmental of ATLA and shows like it, but I was still pretty confident that it simply wasn't "for me."

The irony of this is not lost on me. Though I still haven't watched ATLA proper, from what I've heard about the show since, I was probably the exact kind of kid that many of the messages were intended for.

The problem?

Of the episodes I had seen, Zuko either was not in them, or played such a minor or out-of-context role that I learned nothing about him.

So, when I was in my mid-twenties, finally seeing Zuko in episode one as my roommate watched it in our shared living space, I was fascinated.

THAT was the character I had needed. THAT was the character I understood. Someone who had been molded into something unloveable. Someone who had no more power over it than wet clay has over the potter's hands. Someone who, deep down, knew this wasn't the right way to be, the way they wanted to be, but to be anything else would be to become destroyed. That was huge.

Because. Yeah. In retrospect, I was a fucking asshole as a kid, at least to other kids. But looking back, I also know that it was the only way I could be. In my isolation, it was the only thing I knew. And even then I knew that I was fucking up. I just didn't know how to change it. And once I finally got exposed to a wider world, saw that there were other possibilities, I did change. A lot. But it took a long time, and it was hard, because the same changes that would have won the approval of my peers, made me a better part of society, would have also destroyed me at home. The same things that made me unloveable also made me survive. I don't think I can explain the confusion I had for the longest time when interacting with other children. It went something like, "How can you be that way so openly, so happily, when I cannot? What is so different between you and I, that the same things that bring you joy could only ever cause me pain?" Even now, that unloveability still follows me. I once saw someone say that loneliness is self-fulfilling because others can sense the loneliness on you and are repelled by it, and I'm inclined to agree. It's no one else's fault. Of course they would be repelled by someone like me, who either clings so much that it's suffocating, or becomes so afraid of clinging that I become aloof and unreachable.

Anyway. Zuko is relatable, and seeing him has really recontextualized the entire series for me. It's kind of a relief, really. I know he gets a redemption arc, and I don't think a lot of characters I relate to in this way do. I've been holding on to those kinds of messages lately—the ones that tell me that I might have a future. Though, man, I wish I'd had an Uncle Iroh like he did, to hold my hand through everything and help me get to that better place in the end. Maybe things wouldn't be so hard now.

#avatar the last airbender #atla #personal story #holding on to my bf who loves me very much #and the friend who invited me over to play games in his apartment #and my coworker who said that i'm one of her favorite people she works with #and my other coworker who said that she's saved all of the artwork I've shown her in a folder on my phone #and my roommate who keeps sendinv me memes unprompted #and the friends i've made online #and the people i play ttrpgs with #and the little sister who told me she needs me around because i'm the only one who understands #all is not lost #maybe i can build something from this

[lucifersresources]

taylor swift // the tortured poets department : the anthology rp meme.

edit/alter/change pronouns etc as you see fit!

fortnight.

i was a functioning alcoholic.

i hope you're okay.

no one here's to blame.

but what about your quiet treason?

for a fortnight there, we were forever.

i wanna kill her.

all my mornings are mondays stuck in an endless february.

i took the miracle move-on drug.

the effects were temporary.

i love you, it's ruining my life.

my husband is cheating.

i wanna kill him.

the tortured poets department.

i think some things i never say.

you're in self sabotage mode.

i've seen this episode and still loved the show.

who else decodes you?

who's gonna hold you like me?

who's gonna know you, if not me?

this ain't the chelsea hotel.

we're modern idiots.

you awaken with dread.

i chose this cyclone with you.

i wonder if you're gonna screw this up with me.

everyone we know understands why it's meant to be.

who else is gonna know me?

that's the closest i've come to my heart exploding.

my boy only breaks his favorite toys.

here we go again.

my boy only breaks his favorite toys.

i'm queen of sand castles he destroys.

i should've known.

we could've played for keeps this time.

i know i'm just repeating myself.

he runs because he loves me.

i knew too much.

there was danger in the heat of my touch.

he saw forever, so he smashed it up.

once i fix me, he's gonna miss me.

i felt more when we played pretend.

he stole my tortured heart.

told me i'm better off, but i'm not.

down bad.

did you really beam me up in a cloud of sparkling dust, just to do experiments on?

i was the chosen one.

this world is bigger than us.

i knew cosmic love.

for a moment, i knew cosmic love.

now i'm down bad.

everything comes out teenage petulance.

fuck it if i can't have him.

fuck it if i can't have us.

they'll say i'm nuts if i talk about the existence of you.

for a moment, i was heavenstruck.

i was heavenstruck.

i loved your hostile takeovers.

how dare you think it's romantic.

fuck it, i was in love.

fuck you if i can't have us.

so long, london.

i kept calm and carried the weight of the rift.

i pulled him in tighter each time he was drifting away.

my spine split from carrying us.

i stopped tryna make him laugh.

how much sad did you think i had in me?

you'll find someone.

so long.

i didn't opt in to be your odd man out.

i founded the club she's heard great things about.

i left all i knew.

you left me.

i stopped cpr, after all, it's no use.

the spirit was gone.

i'm pissed off you let me give you all that youth for free.

two graves, one gun.

i'll find someone.

you say i abandoned the ship, but i was going down with it.

my friends said it isn't right to be scared every day of a love affair.

every breath feels like rarest air when you're not sure if he wants to be there.

how much tragedy did you think i had in me?

just how low did you think i'd go 'fore i'd self implode?

you swore that you loved me.

you swore that you loved me, but where were the clues?

i died on the altar waiting for the proof.

you sacrificed us to the gods of your bluest days.

i'm just getting colour back into my face.

i'm just mad as hell coz i loved this place for so long.

but daddy i love him.

i forget if this was ever fun.

these people only raise you to cage you.

these people try and save you coz they hate you.

they slammed the door on my whole world.

but daddy, i love him.

you should see your faces.

floor it through the fences.

no, i'm not coming to my senses.

i know he's crazy, but he's the one i want.

growing up precocious sometimes means not growing up at all.

he was chaos, he was revelry.

stay away from her.

the saboteurs protested too much.

i'd rather burn my whole life down.

i'd rather burn my whole life down than listen to one more second of all this bitchin' and moanin'.

i'll tell you something about my good name, it's mine alone to disgrace.

i don't cater to all these vipers dressed in empath's clothing.

god save the most judgmental creeps who say they want what's best for me.

they think it can change the beat of my heart when he touches me.

you ain't gotta pray for me.

it's just my choice.

scandal does funny things to pride, but brings lovers closer.

we came back when the heat died down.

fuck em, it's over.

time, doesn't it give perspective?

no, you can't come to the wedding.

he's the one i want.

fresh out of the slammer.

i'm running back home to you.

he doesn't understand me.

handcuffed to the spell i was under.

it's gonna be alright, i did my time.

now that i know better i will never lose my baby again.

my friends tried, but i wouldn't hear it.

he kept me going.

i swirled you into all my poems.

ain't no way i'm gonna screw up.

ain't no way i'm gonna screw up now that i know what's at stake here.

florida!!!

they said i was a cheat.

this city reeks of driving myself crazy.

your home's really only a town you're just a guest in.

can i use you up?

me and my ghosts, we had a hell of a time.

i'm haunted but i'm feeling just fine.

i did my best to lay to rest all of the bodies that have ever been on my body.

i need to forget.

tell me i'm despicable, say it's unforgivable.

love left me like this and i don't want to exist.

guilty as sin?

this cage was once just fine.

am i allowed to cry?

what if he's written 'mine' on my upper thigh only in my mind?

i keep recalling things we never did.

without ever touching his skin how can i be guilty as sin?

there's no such thing as bad thoughts, only your actions talk.

we've already done it in my head.

i've screamed his name.

they're gonna cricify me anyway.

what if the way you hold me is actually what's holy?

they don't know how you've haunted me so stunningly.

i choose you and me religiously.

who's afraid of little old me?

you don't get to tell me about 'sad'.

if you wanted me dead, you should've just said.

nothing makes me feel more alive.

who's afraid of little old me?

who's afraid of little old me? you should be.

the scandal was contained.

at all costs, keep your good name.

you don't get to tell me you feel bad.

is it a wonder i broke?

i was tame, i was gentle, till the circus life made me mean.

don't you worry folks, we took out all her teeth.

they didn't do it to hurt you.

i wanna snarl and show you just how disturbed this has made me.

you wouldn't last an hour in the asylum where they raised me.

i'm always drunk on my own tears, isn't that what they all said?

i'm fearsome and i'm wretched and i'm wrong.

you caged me and then you called me crazy.

i am what i am coz you trained me.

i can fix him (no really i can)

the jokes that he told across the bar were revolting and far too loud.

i can fix him.

i can fix him, no, really, i can. and only i can.

he had a halo of the highest grade.

good boy, that's right.

i'll show you heaven if you'll be an angel.

trust me, i can handle a dangerous man.

loml.

who's gonna stop us waltzing back into rekindled flames?

we were just kids.

i thought i was better safe than starry-eyed.

i felt aglow like this never before and never since.

you and i go from one kiss to getting married.

we're never quite buried.

you told me i'm the love of your life.

you blew in with the winds of fate.

you took me to hell too.

you shit-talked me under the table.

i wish i could un-recall how we almost had it all.

should've let it stay buried.

our field of dreams engulfed in fire.

you're the loss of my life.

i can do it with a broken heart.

she's having the time of her life.

i can show you lies.

i'm a real tough kid.

i can handle my shit.

you gotta fake it till you make it.

lights, camera, bitch, smile, even when you wanna die.

he said he'd love me all his life.

he said he'd love me all his life, but that life was too short.

all the pieces of me shattered.

the crowd was chanting 'more'.

i was grinnin' like i'm winnin'

i was hittin' my marks.

i can do it with a broken heart.

i'm so depressed i act like it's my birthday every day.

i'm so obsessed with him but he avoids me like the plague.

i cry a lot, but i am so productive.

you know you're good when you can even do it with a broken heart.

i keep finding his things in drawers, crucial evidence i didn't imagine the whole thing.

try and come for my job.

the smallest man who ever lived.

was any of it true?

now you know what it feels like.

i don't even want you back.

i just want to know if rusting my sparkling summer was the goal.

i don't miss what we had.

could someone give a message to the smallest man who ever lived?

you hung me on your wall, stabbed me with your push pins.

you didn't measure up in any measure of a man.

were you sent by someone who wanted me dead?

did you sleep with a gun underneath our bed?

were you a sleeper cell spy?

in fifty years, will all this be declassified?

good riddance.

it wasn't sexy once it wasn't forbidden.

i would've died for your sins.

i would've died for your sins, instead i just died inside.

you deserve prison, but you won't get time.

in plain sight you hid.

you are what you did.

i'll forget you, but i'll never forgive.

the alchemy.

this happens once every few lifetimes.

what if i told you i'm back?

i'm coming back so strong.

i'm the one to beat.

the sign on your heart said it's still reserved for me.

who are we to fight the alchemy?

clara bow.

did you know you'd be picked like a rose?

i might die if it happened to me.

this town is fake, but you're the real thing.

the crown is stained, but you're the real queen.

you're the new god we're worshipping.

beauty is a beast that roars.

it's hell on earth to be heavenly.

#lyric rp meme #rp sentence starters #lyric sentence starters #rp meme #rp sentence meme #music rp meme #sentence starters #rp memes #lyrics rp meme #music sentence starters #taylor swift rp meme #taylor swift lyric meme #taylor swift sentence starters #the tortured poets department rp meme

[maybebecomingms]

a dangerous existence

January 3rd, 2024

"I saw her and I said to myself, 'she's a loaded gun.' Tempting, but can destroy your whole life in a second."

He wasn't talking about a seductive woman approaching him at the bar (though they tell stories like that, too). He was talking about a young college student running near campus. They didn't interact. He was driving.

He also wasn't someone I knew well to be talking so openly about his urges and threats to his marriage. He and his wife were the small group leaders, and it was my first or second visit to their home to check it out.

I was 23 at the time - not too far removed from college myself - and had somehow just lost 40 pounds. If there was ever a time in my life when I was "hot," it was then.

Is this directed at me? Am I the loaded gun? Does this mean I should stop coming here?

I didn't flirt with him. I didn't have bad intentions. I just wanted to get to know some new people. I don't think I kept going to the group for long, but I did hit it off really well with his wife - in fact, I still do. I would still go to their house regularly for our "book club" of two and hope I didn't see him. I always felt dirty and guilty after that.

But this type of thing didn't throw me off enough to walk away, because I'd heard it so many times before. Men were always telling stories like this from the pulpit - having to avert their gaze and avoid attractive women to protect their wives and families. Sometimes, their stories were about loose and wild women throwing themselves at them, seemingly not caring that they were married. Other times, the story was about refusing to acknowledge an attractive woman even when she was being completely respectful, because you never knew when she'd turn on you and lie to your wife about you behaving badly.

It definitely always struck me as odd, though. I've encountered attractive men while in a committed relationship plenty of times and... it was not life changing? I've never felt powerless against an overwhelming urge to blow up my entire life because a good-looking man exists and I saw him. I wouldn't even say I felt that way after talking to one.

But we were told that women and men were fundamentally different, and I never thought much about it til now, really. That kind of messaging really fucks with you as you're entering adulthood within a feminine form. If I go for a run and you see me out in the world running, I'm an imminent threat to your wife and family? And I don't even KNOW you? That's a huge and impossible responsibility, not to mention a massive threat to my safety.

Several years ago, I befriended a colleague I worked with frequently. We're still friends, though we don't interact through work anymore. One year, he invited me to his beautiful, sprawling home in the country around Christmastime. He and his husband go all out, with multiple decorated trees and carefully arranged lights inside and out. They wanted to show off their efforts. We had the best time drinking wine and laughing. We hugged and said "I love you" when it was time for me to go home.

For many years, I could not figure this out. Why would gay men want to spend time with me? They're obviously not sexually attracted to me, so what could I possibly have to offer? Because of the messaging I got from the church about how simultaneously vulnerable and out of control men are, I really thought that I had no value whatsoever beyond being sexualized. Isn't that sad?

For how much churches claim to promote sexual purity, they sure do know how to make you feel dirty and disgusting for merely existing.

#exvangelical #ex christian #spiritual abuse #purity culture #misogny

[zombietoilets2234]

I don't know how it happened. I was walking down the road late one Friday night after looking for this club my mate had recommended. After several hours of looking I'd given it up as a stupid joke and was returning to my car. Boy it was cold out my nipples could cut glass. I was getting some pretty funny looks from the local population as I was wearing nothing, but some tight leather pants and a mesh net shirt. I was getting really nervous and started to walk faster. Finally I reached my car and unlocked the door shivering I started the car and turned on the heat rubbing my hands together and trying to get warm again if I hadn't been so busy warming up I would have noticed the man in the back seat. Just as I looked up he reached up and put a wet rag on my face it smelled horrible like stale piss I struggled like mad but he was so strong I started panicking as the lights from the head lights started to get dim and with one finally jerk I passed out cold. After I don't know how long I woke up in what I could only guess as a hospital room because all I could see was bright florescent lights I tried to raise my head and look around but something was wrong I couldn't move an inch. Panicking I took stock of my surroundings I was on a table cold and hard. My eyes got used to the bright lights and I noticed a large laser looking instrument that's when I heard the soft but steady sound of someone walking nearby. Look who's finally awake and I thought you sleep right though you procedure you see you're a lucky one you get to be turned into the very thing you were looking for tonight. I looked at him in confusion but couldn't speak all I could get out was a muffled gagging. Ahh don't try to talk son. Your tongue has been fused to the bottom of your jaw. So as I was saying you are going to be turned into the very thing you wanted. You see my employer has paid a good deal of money to replace his as it got destroyed by his Husband. Looking confused you start to scream at him but no words or sound came out. He laughed, still confused. Well your going to be turned into an ass boy with your mouth being the ass hole aren't you pleased. You'll get to constantly taste ass and get face fucked but don't worry you'll enjoy it. Your ears start to ring as he says that. This can't be true what the fuck is he mad or something. He steps closer holding a syringe he places it your arm and you start to feel all tingly and happy. There I've given you some pain meds to help as this will be painful this laser will rearrange you cells to fit the shape and purpose of your new position by this time tomorrow you be nothing but ass fat and ass lips. you'll keep you tongue and nose but they won't be noticeable for all intensive purposes you'll be a sphincter. He starts the machine and points it at your face and turns it on. You feel a burning sensation like hot wax as you slowly start to reform into your new shape what feels like days takes only minutes and there you sit all senses are near your mouth. What you don't know yet is your already attached to your new host with such precision that you're unrecognizable from the back. There you go Wyatt how do you like your new ass. It's perfect, doc dead ringer. I'm glad, well before you can leave you will need to take a shit for me so I can tell if everything is working fine. Do you need to shit Wyatt sir. Now that you mentioned it yes doc, really bad. The doctor leads him to the bathrooms. Ok I'll need to watch to make sure everything works right but go ahead and sit down. Wyatt sits on the toilet. You noticed a change in pressure around your lips and can smell fresh air but something else is coming. you feel it slowly build up behind your cheeks as Wyatt pushes and bears down your lips start to be pushed apart and you start to smell shit as it comes out slowly you can feel it dragging over your tongue you can taste it. You know nothing but that taste that's when you finally realize you are an ass you are nothing but a shit hole and you love it this is home.

Thank you for reading this is my first story I've ever written. please be honest and tell me your opinions. This is my fantasy and something I want done to me.

[blarrghe]

Some stray thoughts

I watched the hbomberguy video despite having never heard of him, James Somerton, illuminaughtii, Filip, AVGN, OR internet historian. I'd only heard of a few of the people plagiarized -- mainly the academics. I basically don't use YouTube for anything but trailers and videos about quantum physics 🤷‍♀️

Watching the video informed me that these people talk about things I like and care about, and that they have collectively *millions* of subscribers making them lots of money. So I dont feel particularly compelled to be like "ok but I don't know who any of these people are" in that dismissive too-cool-for-it tone. It's clearly a big deal. Idk who the fuck juice world is either but he must be a big deal bc my high school students mention him like every day. Sometimes very big things lie outsude your small circle of influence.

Hbombguy made really good, well defended, entertaining points. In particular I'd love to show just the first hour breaking down what plagairism is and why it's bad to my students, bc he used a video game journalist as an example and laid out the point that this shit still matters even when it's something like YouTube channels about video games, and not just in school. I probably can't because of the swearing and humor but I do think it would resonate with exactly the audience that needs it (oh my God do teens need it) so I hope enough teens were watching.

I'd also really like to share some of the last bit about the value of creativity and the profoundly sad phenomenon of content creation for the sake of vain self fulfillment and empty moneymaking schemes. Those points hit something really key to the state of content creation and analysis right now.

Whether or not you care about ruining some guys career is irrelevant. Hbombguy even wants you to know that's not the point. He says so multiple times

The point is many people don't fully know what plagiarism means, which makes it easier for lazy assholes to exploit passionate hard working creatives and academics

And the point is that there is a good, defensible, collaborative and productive way to share, source, and build off others ideas, and that this is a skill we should all be learning to use and identify

Critical thinking skills and knowing the rules of engagement are essential in the internet information era. You are not immune to misinformation. You need to know what a reputable source looks like.

Ok that's it. Just getting real tired of the immediate response becoming "he DESTROYED his career" "yeah ok so? Idk who any of these people are"

Also it was funny.

#Good journalism practices are important and worth learning about #Particularly through the lens of pop media and YouTube content creation bc that's not typically where it's talked about #But it's important there too. People are working. People are getting paid.

[physicsfox7]

I was just about to go to bed. I was thinking about all the time ive spent the last few weeks with my friends. We talk, we play games together, we stream, we watch videos and trade stupid memes. We support each other. Then I had a realization.

A bit of backstory first, for anyone who doesn't know (how could you not? I never shut up). Growing up, my dad worked all the time to provide for us, so I spent all of my time with my mother and sister. Over time, this developed in to "I dont know how to interact with guys." I mean, I do. Now. As long as its not the hypertoxic, hyper masculine nightmare that I have abhored since I was young.

I have always hung out with girls. In school, 4 of my closest friends were girls. I was always surrounded by a group of girls. I'd rather sit with them. Yeah, I know they can be toxic and vicious and gross too. But for whatever reason, I can talk to girls in a way that I can't talk to guys. (There are always exceptions to the rule, and yes, a couple of my dearest friends are guys, and we can vibe)

Anyway, on to my realization. A large portion of my friends are trans. There is an inside joke about this that is way too funny, and I still giggle when I think about it. Some of my friends I knew before they figured out that they are trans, some I met just after, and some have been on HRT for a time.

I have surrounded myself with people who have every right to be angry, to hurt others, to hate the world. Not for who they are, but for how they are perceived and treated. What the US government is doing might be the most disgusting thing I have heard about since the 1930s. My friends have been spat on, they cant go outside as themselves, some have been verbally and physically attacked. And every other trans person has to live woth that thought every day. They have every right in the world to want to destroy people like me. Cis, White, American males who have grown up knowing little to no hardship (I do whine a lot, but that's for the other bits of my blog) and being happy and comfortabla and feeling at home in my skin.

But they don't. They aren't mean. They are warm, and genuine, and wholesome, and caring, and doting, and loving. Every single trans person I know, without fail, is a lovely human being.

From personal experience alone, they have gone out of their way to make me feel included, and important. They help me when I need help, they spend time with me, they do things that I'm interested in and talk about my topics of interest. They support me in new and ever expanding ways. And they're happy to do it. Its not false, they aren't trying to get something out of it. In all reality, I dont have a lot to offer and I'm pretty clear about that when I start talking to new people.

They are just kind. I can't say for sure why that is, but I strongly suspect they get up every day and see the hatred aimed at them and consciously decide to be a positive force in the universe, even when they're being beaten down.

I am awe inspired. I want to be a better person and a better friend because my friends are so good to me. And frankly, I dont deserve them.

I was a terrible fucking person just 5 or 6 years ago. All the usual tropes apply, I'm not going into it here. If you care enough ask in the comments.

But for all of that, and yes, I have talked with each of them about what a PoS I was, they still show me love and kindness. I dont deserve friends like that, but I will forever try to earn the love and respect they have shown me.

Please, if you can, please hug your trans friend for me today. Because none of mine are close enough, and the only thing I want in this world is to show them that they are genuinely loved. And who doesn't like hugs?

Growing up, I had friends. Who doesn't? Some were good, some were better, some were bad. But what I never had was a family. And that's exactly what this is. I hate calling it a found family, because I didn't "find" them, they saved me. We are together, as a cooperative group for the betterment of each other and the world around us.

I will endeavor every single day to make the world around me better, and try to show the genuine compassion and caring my family has shown me, to others.

That joke? My handle across every single platform is Fox, in one manner or another. I have adopted it, and for all intents and purposes it is me. Foxes like eggs. Its a small thing, but when my friend said it to me, I thought my heart exploded. I was allowed to be included. I am included, I'm not secondary or tertiary, I'm not on the sidelines. I may forever be the wallflower of the family, the one who is willing to walk behind everyone else because the sidewalk isnt wide enough, but I will forever sleep better because you let me be part of the family.

I have unconsciously surrounded myself with people who will show me patience and kindness, compassion and love. I might not have gotten enough of that growing up and that's why I searched it out. But I have found the place I belong, and it's only fair that everyone else does too.

I say this all the time, but I hope its not too old. Thank you for letting me be a part of your lives, letting yourself be shared with me. I love you so dearly (this goes for all of my family and friends, but i bet you already knew that) that my heart feels it might burst.

And seriously, go hug your trans friend today. Just pick one, give them a warm, attentive hug, and when you pull apart, tell them you love them. Dont ever stop telling your friends you love them.

I generally dont farm interactions, it feels cheap. I mean this with all sincerity: tell me about your trans friend in the comments. I dont care if its one sentence or one thousand, I want to hear something you love about them.

So for once, new rule: do interact, do comment and repost. I want to hear about them.

💚

#actually autistic #transgender #trans rights #wholesome #found family #appreciation post #thankful #i finally feel like i belong #long post #hugs and kisses #stronger with support #support

[spinningbuster98]

Oh yeah. We're going old school with this

So Metroid 1 is a game that one can't help have some respect for: naturally without it there would be no series, hell there would be no genre! Super Metroid? Sotn? Hollow Knight? A good chunk of Indie games? Never would it have existed without this game! I can't deny its influence

....but Jesus Christ is it ROUGH

And look I've played plenty of NES games of this era, many of them being Metroid's contemporaries: Super Mario Bros, Zelda 1, Castlevania 1, Mega Man 1... and while all of them have their rough patches as was the norm for pretty much all videogames at the time....Metroid 1 stands out in a pretty bad way...

It's not stuff like the slow down whenever there are too many sprites on screen, that couldn't be helped I'm sure and was pretty common.

Nor is it the lack of a map in and of itself or the game's cryptic nature. In fact I'd say that this game is at least not as cryptic as the likes of Castlevania 2 since most of the time you can find your way forward by simply bombing a floor or wall whenever you run into a dead end, so once you know that you should be (kinda) good

My issue is how much it's obvious that this game was rushed to absolute fuck.

I can't find the interview that stated this but I heard that most of this game's development was handled during its very last months, which you can tell just by looking because about 85% of this game is made up of the same 5-6 room layouts copy and pasted with only slight differences if any at all, which is the REAL culprit for why you'll get lost here

Then there's the enemy placement

How can I put this gently?

Uhmmmm...

It's absolute dog shit

Enemies are spammed without rhyme or reason, they attack you non stop, whenever you find those pipes straight out of Super Mario bros they'll be spewing enemies literally without stopping: here's a hint when you kill an enemy and they drop an item until you pick up that item the enemy won't respawn. Trust me this can be useful

Sometimes enemies won't spawn correctly when you enter a room, sometimes they'll attack you as soon as you enter while you're still going through the door transition when you can't move Samus, hell sometimes they'll manage to enter the door with you and hit you continuously WHILE the transition plays out!

If you die in this game you'll get respawned at the start of the area you died in...with only 30 points of health, meaning that you'll have to spend a lot of time grinding enemies for health, which was an issue that was also present in Zelda 1 but at least there the health bar was much smaller overall

I know it's an old game but...Zelda 1 didn't have this much copy and pasted level design, in fact that game's overworld was pretty diverse making it possible to orient yourself even without a map after a while. the dungeons where certainly much guiltier of copying room layouts but you could find a map and a compass in those places at the very least

With all due respect I think people sometimes give Metroid 1 a little bit too much leeway. Yeah some of its issues couldn't be helped as they were standard for the time....but others not so much I believe

Speaking of, I may have said that you can absolutely find your way forward even without a guide by just keeping in mind to bomb every potential dead end...but you ain't never finding the Varia Suit and Screw Attack without a guide. You have to destroy some completely inconspiquous blocks on perfectly normal looking ceilings in perfectly normal looking rooms.

Granted you don't NEED those two power ups to finish the game....but unless you're already a grade A expert at this game you're gonna need them if you plan on beating the more bullshit parts, especially the Varia Suit for the extra defense

#metroid #metroid 1 #my gameplay #Youtube

[hackerqueen]

Memories

After receiving an invitation to Hannah and Thomas' wedding, MC tries to get back to her life, but the demons of her past catch up with her faster than she could have expected.

author's note: previous part, thanks to which you can better understand the situation

warnings: slight mention of mental health issues

HANNAH DONFORT

&

THOMAS MILLER

with full hearts,

joyfully invite you to their wedding

I burned holes in the invitation I received with my eyes. I don't know how much time has passed since I sat on the couch and in my trembling hands I grabbed a card decorated with beautiful floral patterns full of colors. They were different from how I felt now. My world was devoid of any colors when I read the first lines of the invitation. When I reopened old wounds. When I reopened my heart to memories and a weird town called Duskwood.

I swore to myself that I would burn them as soon as I got back from the psychologist. I was so sure it would come easily to me. So why have I been sitting in front of the fireplace for over two hours now, wondering what time the next flight would be?

MC, no.

For five years I have been trying to put my life back together. Forget everything the missing Hannah Donfort case has brought to my life. Because this case has completely and irrevocably destroyed my old life.

After the mine explosion, Richy's funeral, and Jake's loss, I'd become a shadow of myself. When I looked in the mirror, I didn't recognize myself. Soon I began to fight my despair with alcohol and parties. I tried to find my dying need and longing for Jake in other men. But no one compared to him. I didn't even know what he looked like or what he sounded like. So why was I so fucked up that I couldn't forget him?

But after two hard years, the first rays of the sun came. I realized that I needed professional help to move on. I wanted to feel alive again, not just existing. Of course, there were times when in the evenings I would sit staring at a blank wall and reminisce. I was reminiscing about the good times spent with my old friends. All the small talks with Jessy. Jokes with Richy.

But there have been no dark moments for so long. I moved on.

And then, as usual, it had to fucked up. Ceremonial, with fireworks fucked up.

My pointless staring at the cluster of letters was interrupted by the loud vibration of my phone. I snapped out of my trance and checked who had disturbed the storm in my mind.

RYAN: You, me, dinner, wine and a movie?

I sighed heavily, trying to force a smile.This news reminded me that Duskwood had done me nothing good. I won a whole new life in which there was no room for either of them.

MC: You don't have to ask twice!

I clenched my jaw as I stared at the fireplace as flames engulfed the wedding invitation. They burned an old part of me.

* * *

I dressed as quietly as I could so as not to wake the boy who was sound asleep. It was almost three in the morning, and I didn't want to stay at Ryan's. I didn't want to wake up next to him in the morning, have breakfast together, and then say goodbye when we both had to go to work. Why? I told myself that I just wasn't made for relationships. I really wanted to believe it. I didn't want to be a bitch who used others for her own pleasure.

That fucking invitation made me think about him again. Even a moment ago, when I was fucking a boy who is in love with me, I was thinking about someone else. I thought about the black-haired wanted criminal who had hacked my mind as well as my heart.

As I was at the door, I heard his hoarse voice.

– I'll never be anything more to you, will I?

With a heavy heart, I turned to look into his brown eyes, where I saw no hatred. I saw understood pain. Because both Ryan and I knew that in the reflection of his brown irises I was still looking for those wistful blue ones.

* * *

I closed the door to my apartment and without even taking off my coat, I walked towards the living room. I glanced briefly in the mirror, again not recognizing myself. I had just broken another person's heart and my face remained stone and so... distant.

– Fucking Jake. – I spat out my first emotion in a long time. Unfortunately, it was anger.

I reached my hand into the drawer where I kept the medication the psychiatrist had given me. My movements were programmed. I've done it millions of times. Without any emotion, I spilled two white pills and placed them on my tongue. Just as I was about to swallow them, my eyes fell on the bar across the room. And it was only a moment. Impulse.

I rushed over to it and opened it. I pulled out the first bottle of vodka I came across and opened it quickly. I didn't even wonder anymore. I spat out two pills that rolled across the floor, then pressed my lips to the neck of the glass. I furrowed my face, feeling the terrible burning in my throat, but I didn't stop. I kept drinking.

I drank until I stopped feeling a little bit.

Common sense screaming for me to stop was completely silenced. At least until I heard my phone vibrate again. I was ready to explain to Ryan that our relationship, although not official, was a mistake and I had never felt anything for him, but I was confused to see that someone texted me from an unknown number.

UNKNOWN NUMBER: MC?

What the fuck? Who are you and why do you bother me drinking another goodbye I caused?

Yes, do I know you?

Deja vu, right? That's how it all started five years ago.

It's me, Lily. I am sorry for writing so late. Did you get an invite?

My breathing quickened. Lilly Donfort broke the tense silence between us after five years.

I did.

I answered briefly and coldly, but I couldn't help it. I also couldn't get out of the conversation and block the blonde's number, even though common sense told me to. But heart and reason rarely listen to each other.

I know you want nothing to do with us.

No shit sherlock.

But it's really important

I snorted and quickly typed out a reply.

I'm not solving your problems anymore

I know

It's about Jessy

My eyes opened tighter. I didn't even have the strength to pretend that the mention of Jessy hadn't moved me.

She's in really bad condition

MC, I'm begging you, only you can help her

One day, five years ago, Jake was right once again. I let my emotions cloud my judgement. So it was this time.

No matter how much time passed, the traumatic events connected me with Jessy forever. With a fragile, red-haired girl whom I had only ever seen cry at our friend's funeral.

Swallowing another sip of alcohol that hurt my throat painfully, I bought a plane ticket to a dark little town called Duskwood.

"There's no good reason in make believing

That we could ever exist again"

Conan Grey

#duskwood jake #duskwood #duskwood fanfiction #duskwood richy #duskwood jessy #duskwood game #duskwood jake x mc #jake duskwood #everbyte duskwood #duskwood fandom

[likeafairytale]

"It really did make me think of your eyes. Even then. Maybe I took it for bad reasons, but you should still have it." - Aeron to Calypso about the diamond necklace

The mermaid was initially alone at the lake she loved so much. It was one of her only solace here, and even though she wasn't in the mood to swim –which was quite rare– she loved staying near the water and listening to the relaxing sound of the waterfall. Her tranquillity was disrupted by footsteps, and without even looking back she knew who it was, which made her sigh. Calypso said nothing, she didn't want to look at him, at first. Her relationship with Aeron wasn't as bad as it used to be, they were quite on good term, actually, but she knew his favorite game was to annoy her, and she thought this was what he came to do, and she didn't want to give him this satisfaction.

So the girl was quite surprised when she heard his words, and that piqued her curiosity. At first, she didn't understand, it's only when she looked back that she saw the necklace in his hands. She felt her heart dropping at the sight of the jewellery; she remembered it too well. A pretty necklace, really, with so many diamonds that it was actually shinning bright under the sun. That's probably what attracted Calypso to it in the first place, like a moth to a flame. That's also one of the reason she fell in love with him in the beginning; yes, the princess was used to have expensive stuff, she wasn't a stranger to gemstones, but it was the first time a boy offered her something. Usually it was her father, or other family members, but never a boy who showed interest in her.

That's probably why she was so easily fooled. Her stormy eyes still in the necklace, she looked at him and could see the smug smile on his face, and just that was enough to annoy her, because she was sure she was falling for a scheme, once again. Frowning, she looked at the waterfall while shrugging.

❛C'mon, little mermaid. I know you're lying.❜ He said with amusement.

❛I don't want it, thanks.❜

Calypso sighed and rolled her eyes. She did not know how he knew that, but he was right; she was lying. She found diamonds utterly pretty –which woman wouldn't?– but the origin of the necklace made it less appealing to her. She said nothing for a while, and tried her best to not look at him or the necklace, but she failed at some point, and a victorious smile appeared on his face.

❛See. You want it so bad. Or maybe it's me that you want? Unclear.❜ He joked, and she tried her best to not smile with amusement at his cockiness for, deep down, she thought it was a bit funny.

❛I'd like my bracelet better.❜

❛Nice try, Sunshine, but no.❜

❛Fine, give me that.❜

She whispered, stood up, and came closer. He seemed quite content with her decision, but he was about to change his mind. She took the necklace from him, before taking a rock nearby, and, without a warning, the mermaid smashed the necklace which surprise the fae. Calypso did that multiple times, until the necklace broke, and she was surprised how good it felt. Once done, she sighed with satisfaction, a smile on her face –now this was enough to make her day, this and Aeron's look on his face– before gathering all the diamonds that she gave to a startled Aeron.

❛Why the fuck did you do that?!❜

❛I don't want the necklace, not after it was used to manipulate me.❜ She started, and before he could argue, she added: ❛But I do like the diamonds. So if you really want me to have them, fine, but I want a new necklace with them.❜

This time, she was the one with the smug smile, and he didn't seem to appreciate it. How the tables have turned now. Calypso could tell he was upset, but somehow, she knew a part of him was still amused by that. Aeron said nothing more, and so did Calypso. He left while she get back to the contemplation of the waterfall. She wasn't sure if she was going to have a new necklace or not, but in any case, she was pleased she destroyed a perfectly fine necklace by pure pettiness, and for the rest of the day she'll have a smile on her face.

❛You're insane! I was being nice for once here!❜

❛No, you were being fake like always.❜

#calypso le fey #calypso x aeron #calron #writing prompt #calypso writing prompt #i don't know why it made me laugh #they always argue for no reason #cally is so petty and i love it lmao #they are funny okay #and i love them #i'll make it pretty later #in my mind he does do another necklace w/ the diamonds #a prettier one #maybe not right after #but at some point #icanbeyourgenie

[bteezxyewriter12]

Take My Picture ~ Jongho/ 1

Pairing- Jongho x Named Reader

Word count- 2k

Includes- angst, sex, public sex, riding, from behind, multiple orgasms, fluff

Tag List- @mingtina @jaxxmine

@xuxibelle @delightfulmoonbanana @yeosxxx @seokwoosmole @jjongsbebe @tannie13 @wisejudgedragonhairdo @meowmeowminnie @woo-stars

Masterlists- check out for more fics

📝Take My Picture Masterlist 📝Masterlists

📝 ATEEZ Masterlist 📝Jongho Masterlist

For this series only, the couple is from Unexpected

Jongho POV

I stare at the water in so much anger

We just finished filming for a new show we've yet to air

After filming of course I went straight to Joanne

She came with us because I wanted her with me this time

She hugged me tightly, told me she was so proud of me, giving me kisses all over my face, not caring that I was sweaty

The guys all disappeared back to the house we're staying at to film this, leaving us outside

I wanted to stay outside with her and maybe take a walk along the river

She agreed but wanted to use the bathroom first

When she went to the bathroom, I was walking to the kitchen to get us some water bottles

Just as I was about to walk in I heard San, Wooyoung, Yeosang and Mingi talking shit about her

Well not Mingi but he wasn't doing anything to stop them

"She's such a slut, wearing that skimpy short dress around us", Wooyoung snapped, "Easy access for Jongho to fuck her. That's all she's good for. Fucking and coming in"

"That's a little harsh", Mingi said

"Please Mingi, she already fucked two of our members like it's nothing", Yeosang said, "How long before she tries to fuck another one?"

"Did you hear how she talked to Jongho? Like he's a baby?", San laughed

"Yeah", Yeosang chuckled

"Jonghie you were so good", San said in a high pitched voice, imitating her, "I'm so proud of you. You were so cute"

Wooyoung snorted, "She just said that to get his dick. She used to say the same shit to me and the next thing we were fucking. She just wants his dick not him"

"I think she loves him", Mingi put in

"She loves sex. She's a whore. A pathetic slut who opens her legs for anyone"

The rage that I felt was something I've never felt before

I wanted to kill them all

I did go into the kitchen and told them all off, ripping them new assholes

I told them she's not a whore, she loves me and if I ever heard any of them talking about her like that again, I'd knock them out

Wooyoung scoffed, "Fuck off. You'll see. She'll do the same to you. Fuck someone a few weeks after you've broken up. Then claim she loves him just so she can keep fucking him. Slut"

"You cheated on her you fucking dick!", I roared, "You hurt her you delusional piece of shit. You're here talking shit about her even though you're still in love with her. And I know, I know you'd be with her again in an instant if she left me and wanted you"

He glared at me, not saying anything

"You're a pathetic loser who can't get over his ex, who you fucked over.", I shouted, "She loves me. She's mine. Fuck off"

When I turned to San and Yeosang, I said, "Keep your fucking mouths shut about her. You know fucking nothing. Shut up or I'll shut you up"

Then I had to leave or I was going to destroy something

I'm trying to breathe in and out, trying to calm myself but every time I think about it, my hands form right into fists

I hear footsteps in the grass knowing it's her

She sits down next to me, "Jonghie. What happened baby? I heard you yelling from the bathroom but I didn't hear what was happening"

"It's nothing jagi"

"Jonghie, it's not nothing", she says, taking my hands and unclenching them, "Tell me baby"

"They...they were talking shit about you"

"And you went in and defended me?"

I nod, "I'm so angry baby. I...I haven't felt this angry before. I wanted to hit all of them"

"Baby, don't listen to them", she says softly, "I know it upsets you but it's just words that are untrue. You know they're untrue and I know they are. It doesn't matter. Wooyoung is still upset and if him talking shit about me makes him feel better then let him"

She's said all this before and I understand but it's so hard to hear those things about her and not say anything

"I love you Jongho. And as long as you don't believe the things they're saying then I don't care what they say"

"I don't jagi", I answer, taking her hand, lacing our fingers, "Nothing they say is true"

"Then forget it. It's not worth it to get mad", she says, running her fingers in my hair, "I wanna be with my Jonghie for the rest of the day and I want us to have fun. Not worry about what those dummies say"

I smile, listening to her, "I want that too baby"

"Good", she smiles, kissing my cheek, then pulling out her phone, "And look at the cute picture I took of you when you took a break from the challenge"

I look at her phone to see a picture of my back, crouching down in front of the water

"You can't see my face though"

"I know but I thought it was so cute because you look so small here when you're usually such a huge hulking sexy guy", she giggles making me laugh

"Yeah that's me. Huge hulking sexy guy"

"It is Jonghie. You are", she says, "Now are you going to kiss me or what?"

I smile at her

She always knows what to say to make me feel better

To make my worries go away

"Hmm, I think I'm going to kiss you"

Leaning towards her, I press a kiss to her soft, beautiful lips

Her arms move around my neck, kissing me back and her kiss feels so good

Licking her lip, she opens her mouth for my tongue, pressing hers against mine, the kiss heating up

She moves into my lap, straddling me, kissing me hard

My hands slide down to her hips, moving her along my hard dick

God she can make me hard in seconds

That hasn't changed at all

After six months of being together we're still all over each other, all the time

I always want her, she always wants me and there's no reason not to

Her hands move down to my pants, undoing my belt, button and zipper

She takes my cock out of the hole in my boxers, her hand stroking me nice and fast

"Fuck baby", I groan

"Tell me what you want Jonghie. I'll do whatever my baby wants"

"Wanna be in your pussy", I moan softly

That's where I always want to be

I like hand jobs and blow jobs but nothing compares to being inside that tight, soaking, warm cunt that takes me so fucking well

Reaching under her dress, I pull her panties to the side, begging, "Please sit on my cock baby. Please"

She lifts herself up, guiding my cock to her hole, then sinks slowly down on me

"Holy shit", I gasp, feeling her tightness open for me, hugging me hard, greedily sucking me in

"All in baby. I wanna be all in", I murmur, pushing her all the way down"

"Oh fuck Jonghie. Love your huge cock", she whimpers, pushing my jacket and hoodie off

"Love your pussy", I moan, leaning back on my hands, "Ride me baby"

She lifts herself up, sliding up my length, leaving me a dripping creamy mess

She slips back down hard, taking me all in, my cock hitting her spot deep inside her

"Yes Jonghie", she cries, moving harder, faster, fucking me so well, her hands gripping my shoulders so hard

"Oh god yes", I groan, "Fuck jagi, just like that baby. Keep going. Take me inside that pretty cunt. So fucking good "

Her cunt pulses around me so hard, her head back, pleasure all over her face

Looking down, her dress is covering everything and I wanna watch

"Jagi, let.....let me see", I whine

She knows what I want, immediately pulling the front of her dress up

I lock my eyes on my cock going inside her

Jesus there's so much cream on my cock, a pretty creamy white ring around my base and all over my boxers, the pleasure so intense

"God that pussy is so wet", I moan, "Swallowing me so well"

"Mmm Jonghie. Always hungry for your cock"

"I know baby. You're on me all the time"

She smirks at me, "You have a rideable cock baby. Sue me for wanting to ride you"

"Na uh", I shake my head, "I want this creamy pussy on me. Whenever you want. My cock is here for you whenever you want"

"Good", she smirks, riding me hard, "And is it here for me to cum on?"

"Always"

"Good cuz I'm gonna cum right now"

I know she is

I feel her clenching me

"Jongho. Jongho!", she cries, coming, the pleasure from her orgasm blinding me

I can't tear my eyes from her small slit throbbing around me, creamy cum pouring out of her, dripping down my cock that's not in her

"Fuck Jongho oh my god. So good baby", she yells

When she finishes, I pull her off me, getting her on her hands and knees and barreling into her from behind

Leaning over her, I wrap my arm around her waist, pulling back and thrusting back in

"Yes Jonghie"

I fuck into her fast, splitting her cunt on my rock hard cock, feeling her sucking me back in each stroke as I slam into her spot

"God baby, this cunt is so greedy. Wants my cock over and over"

"Yes Joongie. Yes"

Her fingers are ripping up the grass, digging into the dirt from the pleasure

"Do I feel good baby?", I tease, "Do you like me impaling you on my cock, hitting your spot each time?"

"Yes oh fuck yes, I love it"

"I gotta fuck you hard and fast jagi. We're in public and I don't wanna take too long. I don't wanna get caught", I tell her, "But don't worry, tonight I'll fuck you nice and slow, eat that pretty cunt and make you cum over and over. Do you want that?"

"Yes Jongho. Yes I want it so much"

"Good baby girl. So how about you cum on me and I'll fill you up with my cum?"

I slam extra hard into her, listening to her yell my name as she orgasms, her pussy gripping my length in a death grip, fluttering like crazy

I keep fucking her, so close and after a few more thrusts, I bury inside her, spilling my cum deep inside, ecstacy falling all over me

"Milk my cock baby", I moan, rubbing her clit and making her cunt constrict around me more and more

And to make her cum again

"Jongho. Oh fuck", she whines, fall over the edge again, feeling so fucking incredible

"That's it baby. Good girl. My good girl"

When we both finish, I pull out of her and turn her around, kissing her cheek softly as she lays on her back breathing hard

"Ok baby?"

She nods, "More than ok"

I pull her dress down, her panties moving back into place after I pulled out

I tuck myself back inside my boxers, the black fabric stained white with her cream

"Fuck Joongie, I'm sorry", she says looking at my boxers, as I touch the spots her cream is in

I just shrug, "You have my cum in your panties. It's only fair I have yours on mine. Still sticky and wet too"

Her eyes widen and I just smile, pulling my pants up and fixing them

Standing, I hold my hands out to her and she takes them

I help pull her up, then ask as I pick up my hoodie and jacket, "Still wanna go for a walk?"

She smiles nodding, "Definitely"

She makes next to me, leaning on my side, her arm around me

I move my arm around her waist, keeping her against me, kissing the top of her head

Then together we start walking

#take my picture #jongho fanfic #jongho fic #jongho fanfiction #jongho smut #choi jongho smut #choi jongho fic #choi jongho fanfic #ateez jongho smut #ateez fanfic #ateez fic #ateez fanfiction #ateez smut