#and meg kills one of em | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

kel-lance · 1 month

Text

Jjk headcanons/fan theories/ random thoughts/random facts

I made this in a few months time so its prob repetitive

Tsumiki went into her year and 7 month long coma when megumi was 13-14 years old meaning tsumiki missed her sweet 16 :( (she’s a year older than him)

Toji was a good dad in the end (both times) bc he was already dead and told Gojo to take Megumi as a F u/later fix the alliance’s of the clans and to make sure that Megumi would be protected, fed, housed, and taught sorcery bc toji damn well couldn’t much less protect his kids from curses anyhow.

Noaya (and the men of the Zenin clan) abused Mai and maki bc they’re women (implied SA) noaya hinted at asking to beats em up like he used to (could be implied bc he called them hot & Mai has the same face) but he was also possibly teasing since Mai just 💀 but there’s no way he could have known that

It’s worse to be a male Zenin with no cursed energy bc then you’d be absolutely powerless, useless, worthless, etc. no other clan woman would want you and your fam would never coughed for you much less protect you bc why do they have to you were born a Zenin and yet…

So we know Kokichi Toji Mai n maki all were hit with HR but it was just a double whammy to also be twins? Yes. HR hit Toji so hard bc he was the first to be without cursed energy but then Nanako and Mimiko, bc they’re fraternal twins that that’s possible they’re able to both have CE?

Kenjaku stayed in Iori for so long that his stitches healed I’m guessing he planned it all (or saw hat happened which is why he chose Jin (bc there’s no way that’s random) and killed Jin and went to Geto when it was time (did Ken know about the KFC break up too??)

maki had no CE but still couldn’t get in tune with her full potential is bc Mai was there this the twin HR is f’d but there’s probably more chance one could 💀 the other to become powerful but in this instance it was about sacrifice and distance love. Different paths yet they were “the same person” so that’s only with identical twins?

sukuna loves to eat and is a cannibal and lactates and has 4 arms, 6 mouths or more, 20 fingers, many eyes, 4 legs, 10 toes, 3 heads, hopefully 9ft tall in his monster form….

stg toji had his divorced dad rock on religiously (nickel back fan don’t even start w me, weezer son nickleback dad)

nobara gonna be used in some way theres no reason to have her status as unknown of not to edge us istg I’ll even take a cursed spirit piloting her to mess with Yuuji more and she’s part of sukuna or some even worse group they gotta fight after the culling game arc

after chapter 253 are maki and yuta dead?? Hopefully Yuta was eaten but on Yutas birthday gege thats foul (I love it) 🫣🤩

It’s past ch253 and we’re waiting for 3/24 for the next chapter but I heard yuta yelled at Hakari to shut up with cursed speech? Or was that earlier

Maki Mai and Megumi and Tsumiki met probably around the time tsumiki went into that coma/megs entered jjk no wonder hes so formal//doesn’t know them well he was under gojos protection for so long

some jsckass said mais first love is unknown or megumi are you dumb shes in love with her sister no sister kissed the other to give them a sword cooly and die she literally just wanted to be with her no matter what to go to the ends of the earth it didn’t matter as long n as maki was with her but maki knew Mai’s potential to be better than her so she tried to make herself better, leaving Mai behind in the process and they still never hated each other even after all the time away.

mai likes to take care of cacti/the clan favored her over maki bc she has at least some CE//weve only seen maki being affected by her family's rejection (jjk0 makis mom said shed wished shed never have given birth to her as she was a failure and same girlie but my mom chose any and everyone to compare me to) but Mai either didn’t see herself special in that way and put the blame on maki or dealt with it in her own way (maki vs the fam excluding Mai and Megumi // whereas Mai’s version US against the world)

if choso is yuujis brother and kamo is one of chosos distant family, that would mean Yuuji, Choso, Yuki, Todo, and Kamo are all "Brothers" I love the thought of them being super cool and scary together with their cute yuki & Yuuji golden retrievers in a Doberman family

the same people who ship yuki and choso also ship utahime and gojo or shoko and gojo yall have NO comprehension skills at ALL or cant believe men n women b close like Yuuji & Nobara/Power & Denji/ Sasha & Connie/ Nami & Usopp, Franky, or Luffy)

Kenny planted the first finger by Geto’s twins to Yuuji’s school. they just had to get the finger to the occult club

Does Kenny have a witch or oracle or even premeditative powers to know the future or did he just plan this out to a T and what is his damn goal

Yuuji and Yuta are from the same home town bc gege said it’d be easier for the story but then todo also went to Yuuji’s middle school

Nobara dyes her hair lighter and I wonder how often she talks to Fumi back at home. And her grandmother if she’s like me w low contact

Megumi was alone with gojo for almost 2 years (no tsumiki) no wonder he’s so to himself he was probably always with tsumiki before, who decided everything for them (in a big sis way) and he respected it

Yutas a pos for forgetting how Rika 💀 then trapping her w him bc of how traumatized he was like bruh you also yelled at her the first time u ever yelled at Rika was over another girl and he doesn’t do much else but manipulate like the Pisces man he is (I kin him/made an oc before I found out about his BITCH ass and he got everything word for word but is a dude I’m losing it)

As an astrologer, I must say Gege’s planning with the character birthdays and everything else I can read from that is incredibly accurate I’ll give examples in the next points

geto’s mission was to go to remote village, he finds curse and exorcizes it, finds the twins the next dy, he kills everyone, he goes back to his pants to get supplies and kills them (prob no his first choice but once again was probably proven right) and runs has been gone for way too long and gojo doesn’t know what th ehhell happened. which is why he was so mad at kfc and geto just had to accept his new role while gojo was still in the past

Toji and Megumi (Kamo, Nobara, Todo) being cancer moons meaning they care about the heart, (todo has other placements making it seem a lil more “shallow” when he just wants a “straight” answer (lmao Megumi)

Yuta being a Leo moon and (outwardly asked) liking the chest

Yuuji being a libra moon liking butts all this makes sense (libra moons are indecisive, will weight out all the possibilities and still want the peaceful side unless there’s such chaos there’s no way for that to happen… then we snap)

Yuuji and Junpei would’ve been perfect friends we already saw but they both just didn’t ask for any of this and chose their own paths, they’re almost parallels of each other

Geto’s birthchart shows a lot more of wanting to get humanity to evolve where gojos looks more like a POWERFUL cog in the machine

Yap: Gege basically made this for women I’m sorry boys but why all the beautiful men & perfectly written women & relationships maybe it’s just a rare case where the mangaka actually knows women (or gege is a woman 🤗) & how all the dudes fit a Yaoi archetype & the women,,, they’re perfect & cute & not sexualized (other than maki in jjk0 & the glasses girl in ep 1 getting groped) but everything else is just hot w/o taking ur clothes off kinda energy & thats INCREDIBLY DIFFICULT w everything else going on

You think something broke in Meimei when she said she wanted to be comforted and Gojo was like bruh I was joking 🙃

Kirara and Uranme’s gender is yes 👍🏼

Geto raising the girls as a 17-18yr old is insane same age as Megumi and gojo so for how long was Geto their dad? Inbetween 10 years but when did the girls realize that that wasn’t their dad anymore? I’m guessing Kenny can remember the vessel he takes overs memory or does something to their brain to replace it w him

I doubt a male mangaka can write good women (mostly bc of the stereotype that they’re shut ins but also from just reading/watching with my own eyes and being a woman myself) and add them in correctly, though the thing is in jjk they’re all just in a world but in Naruto and berserk and stuff she’s the add in into /their/ world where they keep fighting bc they miss each other and she gotta be used and a pillar for them or an excuse like Nobara and shoko weren’t used like that by satsug and itafushi they were their own ppl w their own sh like don’t get me wrong vasca and Sakura also were their own people but they really were given the bottom of the barrel sh bc of the dudes decisions. Shoko and Nobara strictly did what they wanted instead of falter to men

They’re literally all kids it doesn’t matter if some are weaker or useless, imagine a god/demon came here rn like the strongest will survive/fight you have to also apply the “weak characters” to irl bc I bet you they’re still stronger than most of us (miwa, Kamo, idk about momo still but she been w them I can’t doubt her skill just cause they had POWERFUL enemies

Gojo not being able to drink makes sense no drugs to impair his power and eyes (maybe lightweight maybe uncontrollable drunk and no one’s really ready or able to control that)

Gojo isn’t coming back and he wouldn’t bc he half assed the fight and now he’s with his love and everyone has to fend for themselves now

I like to think Gojo had Megumi and tsumiki, Geto had Nanako and Mimiko and nanami had Nobara and Yuuji in this preschool/parent AU (tojis gojos ex baby daddy)

All of them are taller than me other than momo and Nobara. (Im 5’4” so gojos 10 years older and a foot taller 🫣)

In one of Geges book covers it has Gojo in the winter w pink camellias and those flowers mean ily even after death and that flower is also specifically for the birthday feb3 (Geto’s) AGAIN WHY I THINK GEGES A WOMAN RAHHHHH

Maki, Mai, Toji, Kamo, Kokichi were all raised w no love like at all. Yuta had it good til 11, Miwa, yuuji and megumi never fully had it good, todo, Toge (?), Panda, momo, and nobara were just chillin.

HOW DID NOBARA COME UP WITH HER TECHNIQUE THEYRE ALL EMO BITCHES SHE WAS LITERALLY 16 FOR 2 MONTHS BEFORE HER FACE BLAST

SHE WAS SO YOUNG HOW DID SHE COME UP WITH HAMMERING NAILS INTO HERSELF WHAT

Uranme and Kirara go by (they/them)

Gojo and Geto were soulmates no matter the relationship

Utahime, Shoko, Momo, Mai and Nobara all like girls

Gojo knew Geto for the short amount of time but thought of him for 5x longer.

Megumi’s been without his sister for 1.5 years so she went into a coma when he was 13, his 2nd-3rd year of junior high)

Mai and maki didn’t know about Toji and Megumi until that year (2018)

Kenjaku planted the first finger at Yuuji’s school by Nanako and Mimiko (they’re the same age) hence why thanking Satsuki for taking care of his son

The person Rika is gone, her cursed spirit is what remains (an embodiment of her love/the curse yuta placed on her)

Yuta is wrong for using Rika and forgetting about his promise and why she’s even there for 6 YEARS then yelling at her about Maki

Shoko started smoking in high school and stopped about 5 years ago, but started again when she heard Geto was alive again.

Sukuna has 6 mouths, 4 arms, 4 legs, many eyes, and lactates.

Choso, Yuuji, Kamo, Todo, and Yuki are all “brothers” by blood or not idc i love their lil weirdo family.

Toji was a good dad, dealt the worst hand, everything going down so the best way to protect his kids is to give them to people who can kill curses and teach them about sorcery.

Nobara and Yuuji have the same friendship as Power and Denji, Nami and Franky/Luffy/Usopp

53 notes · View notes

mundoperla · 1 year

Note

hi! can i request frank meeting his soulmate in a trial for the first time? ofc survivor soulmate. female preferably! i love your frank sm

fuck you *writes an entire fic of this idea because frank morrison supremacy AND AAAAAA CUTE*

❝ 𝑺𝒖𝒅𝒅𝒆𝒏 𝑬𝒏𝒄𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒓. ❞

Frank Morrison x Fem! Survivor Reader.

— The concept of soulmates never interested Frank, but now that he’s found you under these circumstances you’ve got his full attention.

‼️tws;; brief mentions of violence (srry ur friends get clapped), meg. ‼️

The fire at the center of the camp crackled softly with the only other source of sound coming from the other two lively killers interacting with one another. The Legion keeping to themselves sitting farther from the banter from across the flames.

Everyone was tired, but nobody could sleep. The other three kept themselves on their toes in case it was time for one of their trials, Frank still tried to settle despite the rough conditions the group had been tossed in.

Another killer had left since it was time for their trial, leaving the antsy few to sit down until they came back.

Joey had sat down next to Frank, leaving Julie and Susie to themselves since he had so real interest in the girls’ conversations.

With the masks on Frank could tell the other man had something on his mind, it wasn’t hard to tell.

❝ You’re in pretty deep thought over there man. Barely said a word in like what.. Maybe a day in this realm’s terms? Talk about it. ”

The rest of the Legion was fond of Frank’s bluntness, he didn’t want secrets being held unless they shouldn’t be discussed to begin with.

“ You ever think about what your soulmate is doing ? We don’t know how long we’ve been her or how much longer we’ll still be here. What if we’ve missed out on meeting them already ? Kinda sad when you really think about it..”

Frank didn’t believe in soulmates, nor did he care for the idea. He didn’t need another person, he could be happy on his own.

“ So ? Who cares what a so-called ‘soulmate’ is potentially doing. ”

“ I care! I coulda’ been with em’ long ago, maybe– “

“ HAH! I bet’cha yours is probably a survivor you’ve killed before. ”

“ Man.. “

——————————————————————————————

Frank is running through the corn field trying to catch up to Meg, his legs feel like gelatin and his vision begins to become even more blurred than before.

He’s irritated that his frenzy had to be halted so suddenly, but he physically cannot move a second longer.

Hesitantly he sits between two of the lockers that stood side by side within the shack panting heavily, removing his mask and placing it to his left.

Most of the survivors were horribly injured with one of them already being sacrificed. He could let the last remaining three get a generator done before he gets back up, he wouldn’t take long to get back up again anyways.

“ Hey! You okay over here? ”

He hasn’t heard this voice before, yet there was an odd sense of familiarity in it’s tone.

You were peaking from the front doorway that exposed the fields, not a single scratch on your body. Frank’s eyes scanned you for a moment, discreetly hiding his mask behind him to ensure he didn’t alert you that he was what you needed to avoid.

He’s never even seen you before, however he wants to keep you here for as long as he can. He wants to hear you talk, to watch your look of worry fade into joy when he says something funny, he doesn’t even know your name yet he wishes to stay in your company for an eternity.

“ Oh, M’Fine. What about you ? ”

“ Trying to find everyone else.. I don’t know who’s still standing and who isn’t. Probably not safe to stay in here though, the killer could get us if we stay too long. Can you stand ? ”

You’re considerate. You’ve never met him a day in your life but you look into his eyes with sincerity — your hand reached out to grab his. Frank kicked the mask under a small gathering of hay from where he was sat. He could go undercover just this once.

The way you spoke gave him goosebumps and left and unfamiliar fluttering feeling in his core. Still in such a horrifying situation you were still cracking a joke or two that followed with care whenever he’d so much as stumble on a pebble whilst walking over to where a generator was located.

It felt.. creepy watching you work on generators with his excuse being that he’d ‘keep watch’ in case the killer came so he wouldn’t blow up your progress. Naturally he would’ve killed someone on the spot if he found them repairing like you were doing, but he didn’t want to harm you. Instead you are left unharmed.

Felix limped into the rustic home that sat next to the both of you, Frank had noticed before you.

“ Sit tight for a minute, I think someone’s inside the house. I’ll go in and see if they need any help. ”

You give a nod of understanding and Frank runs inside. He had full intentions of getting rid of your teammate, but he had to do so in a manner that wouldn’t incriminate him.

You could hear the two men screaming from the inside of the home, frozen with fear you didn’t know how to respond. Frank bolted out from the back door and in your direction, grabbing your hand and rushing you over to the tree where the animals were strung.

“ The killer was in there. I got away but he killed the other guy that was in there that I tried to help.. Needed to get you away from there. ”

God lying to you this way made his stomach churn, but he wants to try and remain as close as he can until this all ends. Your brief expression of fear makes his heart ache, would you look at him that way if you found out what what really happening?

All potential what-ifs that had began to plague Frank’s mind were cut off by the sudden sensation of your arms wrapped around his torso.

“ Even though you couldn’t save whoever was there, you still went back for me so that I could be safe.. That’s really cool of you to do. ”

Your words of praise rang through his mind like the sweetest melody, your embrace felt like what could only be described as heavenly. Shyly wrapping his arm around your waist with the other reaching up to place his hand on the back of your head.

A moment of silence had passed, the two of your still standing engulfed in the warmth of one another — this feeling of familiarity that you felt around this unknown man became stronger, hopefully he wouldn’t notice the way your cheeks warmed when he placed the hand that was on your waist onto your face.

You were incredibly stunning, even with your hair disheveled from the running, beads of sweat rolling down your temples because of the heat, your [e/c] eyes still looking deeply into his dark brown ones.

“ Should’ve told you this earlier but my name’s Frank by the way. ”

The two of you let out soft giggles from the late introduction,

“ [y/n]. My name’s [y/n]. ”

“ Pretty name for a pretty girl. ”

You swat at his shoulder causing him to let out a deeper chuckle, your moment of bliss interrupted by the gate beeping next to the both of you.

Frank’s heart sunk, he can’t leave with you. This is where everything crumbles and you’re never going to interact with him again after this.

All he can do is silently watch you pull down on the lever until the exit fully opens, he’s afraid, what does he do? run away? try and follow you out? what does he—

“ [Y/N]! GET AWAY FROM HIM! ”

Fuck. He should have kept chasing Meg at the beginning.

“ What ? Why ? Frank’s with us. ”

“ [y/n] please! He was going to kill me, he already got Felix and Vittorio you need to get away from him! ”

Frank doesn’t say a word nor does he make eye contact with you. His back is still facing Meg, he’s fighting every urge to snap back and kill her right where she is. But instead lets her bolt past him to grab your arm to lead you out the gate you had just opened.

You struggle with her for a moment whilst screaming at her to leave without you to which she hesitantly does. Leaving you with Frank once again.

The brunette still refuses to make eye contact with you, he silently waits for you so shout some kind of obscenity at him out of anger but instead,

“ Y’know if I can come see you after I walk out this gate ? ”

“ Wh- What ? ”

“ Well? ”

“ I- Well um- There’s a path from where the uh.. killers are that leads to where you guys are? We can’t kill ya’ but— “

“ I don’t know that path so swing by, I’ll keep an eye out for you. ”

You give him a smile and a little wave of your pinky and run out through the gate, Frank’s eyes never leaving you until that same familiar fog clouds his vision and disperses to have him back at the campfire.

“ Oh hey— “

“ What do you think about the possibility of your.. ‘soulmate’ being here. In this realm or whatever it is. ”

“ What’s with this sudden interest with soulmates now ? What happened in that trial man? ”

“ Just answer the damn question Joey. ”

Frank can hardly take his friend’s prodding to hear what sparked his sudden interest, bolting up to make his way to where your camp is located so he can see you again.

His mask is on this time, but he’ll take it off just so you can tell it’s him.

He can already see you from the small clearing in the trees looking around for him, to which you spot immediately.

That same beautiful smile on your face as you hop up from your seat to walk to where he was posted.

How much time can he be given now to waste with just you and nobody else.

••• ••• •••

FRANK HAS MESSY BROWN HAIR IDC IM RIGHT RAGHHHHHHH

it’s literally 3am & i got class in the morning but anything for my bbgs who also love frank🤭

#dbd imagines #frank morrison x reader #dbd x reader #legion x reader #the legion x reader #slasher imagines #slashers x reader

382 notes · View notes

alrxiin · 4 months

Text

Redacted Characters as Song Lyrics

(This includes listeners)

Just some Redacted characters as lyrics from songs I listen to, cause I'm bored and currently hyperfixating...

• Werewolves

David :

♪A Little Death - The Neighborhood♪

"The neighbor was knocking, yeah. But no one would let him in.

Touch me, yeah. I want you to touch me there. Make me feel like I am breathing... Feel like I am human."

Asher :

♪ Everywhere I Go - Hollywood Undead♪

"Let's get this party started! Let's keep them 40's popping!

So just get buzzed and stay fucked up. We'll keep them panties dropping."

Milo :

♪Rebel Love Song - Black Veil Brides♪

"So take your hand in mine, It's ours tonight.

This is a Rebel Love Song!

Hearts will sacrifice, It's do or die.

This is a Rebel Love Song!"

Tank/Darlin' :

♪You're Gonna Go Far, Kid - The Offspring♪

"You're gonna go far, kid...

With a thousand lies and a good disguise. Hit 'em right between the eyes, hit 'em right between the eyes!

When you walk away, nothing more to say.

See the lightning in your eyes. See 'em running for their lives."

•Vampires

Vincent :

♪Bogini - Quebonafide♪

"Jej skóra wygląda i pachnie jak Latte Macchiato, A wzrok na mnie działa jak Mate.

To już nie jest normalne, mylę kawę z herbatą, Ale w razie "W" dam ci erratę.

Byle bez cukru jak na filmach. Krzyczy głośniej niż Walkiria."

Sam :

♪1000 koni - Bedoes♪

"Jeśli zabijesz za mnie, skłamię, po czym wezmę winę za ciebie. Wszedłbym na minę za ciebie.

Czy to jest prawdziwe dla ciebie?

Jeśli zabiję za nią, ona skłamie, po czym weźmie winę za mnie. Ona by weszła na minę za mnie.

Powiedz mi, skarbie, czy wyjdziesz za mnie?"

Quinn :

♪PILLOWTALK - Zayn♪

"So we'll piss off the neighbors, In the place that feels the tears, The place to lose your fears.

Yeah, reckless behavior.

A place that is so pure, so dirty and raw.

In the bed all day, bed all day, bed all day. Fucking and fighting on... It's our paradise and it's our war zone."

Adam :

♪Desire - MEG MYERS♪

"Honey, I wanna break you. I wanna throw you to the hounds.

Yeah, I gotta hurt you. I gotta hear it from your mouth.

Boy, I wanna taste you. I wanna skin you with my tongue.

I'm gonna kill you. I'm gonna lay you in the ground."

•Other

Gavin :

♪ Keep It Down - Migrant Hotel♪

"While I throw you around-

You're gonna scream ...

Shhh: girl keep it down.

The scars you leave on my back, A painting of your attack.

You're biting down on my fist...

I know you cannot resist."

Guy :

♪Flesh - Simon Curtis♪

"Push up to my body, sink your teeth into my flesh (Get undressed, t-taste the flesh).

Bite into me harder, sink your teeth into my flesh (Pass the test, t-taste the flesh).

Hold me up against the wall. Give it 'til I beg, give me some more.

Make me bleed, I like it rough...

Like it rough, rough, rough."

Marcus :

♪War Of Hearts - Ruelle♪

"I can't help but love you, Even though I try not to.

I can't help but want you, I know that I'd die without you."

Lovely :

♪Respite On The Spitalfields - Ghost♪

"We will break away together.

I'll be the shadow, You'll be the light.

Nothing ever lasts forever...

We will go softly - Into the night."

Baaabe :

♪I Wanna Be Yours - Arctic Monkeys♪

"Secrets I have held in my heart, Are harder to hide than I thought.

Maybe I just wanna be yours...

I wanna be yours, I wanna be yours.

Wanna be yours."

Sweetheart :

♪Riptide - Vance Joy♪

"I just wanna, I just wanna know...If you're gonna, if you're gonna stay.

I just gotta, I just gotta know! I can't have it, I can't have it any other way.

I swear she's destined for the screen - Closest thing to Michelle Pfeiffer that you've ever seen, oh."

Angel :

♪THE DEATH OF PEACE OF MIND - Bad Omens♪

"I miss the way you say my name...

The way you bend, the way you break.

Your makeup running down your face.

The way you fuck, the way you taste."

Freelancer :

♪I See You - Jutty Ranx♪

"I want you to myself...Can we take this somewhere else?

My heart's an open book and you just took it off the shelf.

You make me make moves. I see you, you know I see you.

I break through to get to you. It's so true, it's so true."

Honey :

♪Sugar - Sleep Token♪

"Do you wanna see how far it goes? Do you wanna test me now, my love?

You must be crazy if you think that I will give in so easily...

Things we buried low - Coming to the surface now, my love.

You must be crazy if you think that I will give up the game, oh.

Sugar, I've got a taste for you now."

Darling :

♪Killpop - Slipknot♪

"Maybe I should let her go...But only when she loves me.

How can I just let her go? Not until she loves me.

We were meant to be together.

Now die and fucking love me!

We were meant to hurt each other.

Now die and fucking love me!"

Translations :

♪Bogini — Her skin looks and smells like Latte Macchiato. The way she looks at me works like Mate. Something is wrong, I confuse coffee with tea... But in case I'll just give you Errata. With no sugar like in the movies. She shouts louder than Valkyrie."

♪1000 koni — If you kill for me, I'll lie and take the blame on myself. I'll step on a mine for you. Is this real for you? If i kill for her she'll lie and take the blame on herself. She will step on a mine for me. Tell me, darling: will you marry me?"

46 notes · View notes

mermaidsirennikita · 1 year

Text

So You'd Like to Fuck a Villain: Romance Novel Recommendations

Have you gotten caught up in a villain ship? Are you, perhaps, what might be called a villainfucker?

The issue with stanning for villains and wanting them to have romantic love and happiness and possibly group sex, is that they often don't. At least, not onscreen. Some of the most popular romantic ships, obviously, have been villain ships--Reylo spawned a wave of romance novelists (though, I might add, many do not actually write villain-centric romance novels, which is fine), Darklina powered no small part of Shadow and Bone's publishing success... and let's be real, the success of the soon-to-be-ill-fated-from-what-I'm-hearing TV show. On a darker level, Interview with the Vampire took off in no small part because people love the tainted love that is Louis and Lestat, where maybe? They're both villains? (Definitely more Lestat, but you know.)

You know what the great thing about a romance novel is? The villain has to get a happy ending. They just must. It's a rule. If a villain is a lead, the HEA is guaranteed (rhymes), or it's not a romance novel.

So, for Cupid's birthday, I'm recommending some of my favorite villainfucking romance novels. I just think that we deserve it.

CONTEMPORARY ROMANCE

Wicked Villains by Katee Robert.

As you might guess, this series is in fact about villains getting their happy ending, full stop. And it does so by adapting Disney villain ships and placing them in a contemporary setting full of organized crime, sex clubs, and deals gone wrong. It is fun, it is campy, and it is very, very sexy. Check the trigger warnings (which Robert typically lists for each book on her website)--some of these do feature heavy BDSM and CNC.

The diversity of the pairings is so appreciated--while my favorite thus far is the first, Desperate Measures (Jafar/Jasmine with a mob wife "you killed my father" spin, for those curious) you get several triads (Hades/Hercules/Meg, Beast/Gaston/Belle, Ursula/Ariel/Eric, to name a few) and the ever-coveted sapphic Maleficent/Aurora moment. I don't think there's a straight person in this collection of characters. Contemporary romance can be a hard sell for me, especially in terms of villainy... But these are just a ride.

HISTORICAL ROMANCE

Devil in Winter by Lisa Kleypas.

Obviously, if you haven't read Devil in Winter yet, you need to read Devil in Winter. It's a classic--not just of historical romance, but romance in general. Though, pro-tip: I would recommend reading the preceding It Happened One Autumn first, as that's where the villainy takes place. Devil in Winter is about a recovering villain--a rake who did a very, very bad thing (kidnapping his best friend's lady love) simply because he did not want to get a job. I mean.....

Sebastian St. Vincent is a soft touch villain, and not just because he's super good at touching. You know he's going to roll over and beg for it with his seemingly-gentle, secretly-iron-willed heroine; but it's watching him get there that's so fun. His bark is worse than his bite, but he does deliver quite a bark (and quite a bite). If you like 'em snarky and slutty, read this book.

Duke of Sin by Elizabeth Hoyt.

If you like a blond villain who seems better at lounging about than doing manual labor, Valentine Napier takes what St. Vincent was doing to another level of insanity. St. Vincent is sane; Valentine is not, and he's a lot less fun about his kidnappings. Fortunately, his heroine (dispatched to spy on and steal from him) does not take any shit.

This is a book for those who like them loony, because I really don't think Valentine reforms in the least. He just falls in love, all while running around naked in bedazzled, open robes and brandishing a knife. At least he's good in bed and keeps giant, nude portraits of himself in his own house. Keep in mind that this book does delve into some pretty massive childhood trauma, including all kinds of abuse.

Villain I'd Like to F...

This anthology of novellas delves into five stories of historical romance villainy, by five great authors. I'm going to list each novella and its author, as these collections typically disband after a period of time, allowing the authors to sell the novellas individually (though you often can find the collections in online libraries like Libby). In the brackets!

[ Lady Viper and the Bastard by Eva Leigh.

Do you enjoy Dangerous Liaisons? Try this delightfully sexy Georgian-era novella about a widowed vamp and an illegitimate libertine, teaming up to break apart two young lovers (for a price). Except what happens when these two assholes start to catch feelings? Notable in that these characters are in their forties, know themselves, and do engage in some fun role-playing.

Seven Sinful Nights by Nicola Davidson.

Our young-but-ready widowed heroine is toiling in the service of her dickish in-laws... Until the owner of the local gambling hell (who isn't above murder and torture, and does enjoy dominating a bit) shows up demanding payment for her brother-in-law's debts. Those who love an innocent heroine lured by the darkness will love this one, a she very much goes willingly to her "doom" of being his mistress for a week, and loves every minute of it. It's sexy, it's sweet, she also loves a torture moment, there's some exhibitionism.

The Gangster's Prize by Joanna Shupe.

A Gilded Age gangster is thrown off balance by the young woman who comes to him demanding help in finding her missing father. But wait... who's in his dungeon as we speak? Could it be? Her dad? Joanna doesn't pull her punches here, and it's delightfully wacky. Watching our hapless villain hero be like "uhh, what screams from the dungeon" while our heroine looks for her father... who he has captive.. is hilarious.

The Bootlegger's Bounty by Adriana Herrera.

Did someone say sort-of pirates? Our heroine is a nightclub singer, and she books passage to New York with a dangerous rum runner. There's a lot of sex in this one, and--delightfully--a triad, as there happens to be a young gentleman who catches the eye of both our singer and our rum runner...

The Conquering of Tate the Pious by Sierra Simone.

Hedonistic nuns? A Norman invader (in more ways than one) who turns out to be a lady conqueror? As in, a conqueror who is a lady and conquers ladies? I think yes. Our proud abbess Tate is ready to stand up to the Wolf, but what happens when the Wolf is very sexy and cruel in the best possible way? ]

The Prince of Broadway by Joanna Shupe.

If there's one thing Joanna Shupe loves, it's a hero (or a villain turned hero) who hates your dad. This book opens with our casino-owning hero beating the shit out of someone, and when he meets the headstrong spoiled rich girl who wants to open a casino for ladies and needs mentorship... He takes her up on it. All while planning to take down her father (as revenge!!!).

While Clay isn't a super hardcore bad guy, he is pretty violent and pretty diabolical. What makes this book is, of course, his dynamic with Florence, and her defiance of norms that quickly has him completely besotted. This book has a very good grovel, and it should. Does anyone deserve Florence?

... and after reading this one, you can mosey over to Shupe's next book, The Devil of Downtown, in which a bad, bad gangster gets his ass emotionally kicked by Florence's goody goody angelic sister.

The Dragon and The Pearl by Jeannie Lin.

This is another one that benefits from reading its previous book, Butterfly Swords, first. In that novel we're introduced to the treacherous warlord our heroine is fleeing--Li Tao. Lin doesn't shy away from his intimidation factor: he even gets into a sword fight (that turns into an outright brawl, lmao) with the hero. In this novel, Li Tao gets full focus, kidnapping a former emperor's concubine to get information out of her.

What follows is a match of wits that gradually gives way to two manipulative, emotionally closed off people falling madly in love with each other while being unable to say it. Li Tao is a cold, seemingly-unfeeling villain-as-hero, and he really pushes how far he's willing to go to reach his end goals in this book. Also, there's a sex deal. If that matters to you.

Daring and The Duke by Sarah MacLean.

Again, one that does in fact benefit from reading the two preceding books, Wicked and The Wallflower and Brazen and The Beast (fortunately, they're both good!). Ewan, our titular duke, is the villain of both--and he is completely batshit insane in his pursuit of his childhood sweetheart, Grace. Who, for reasons relating to villainy, wants absolutely nothing to do with him.

This is a book-long grovel the way Sarah MacLean does it best--with abject shame and humiliation. Ewan is put through the ringer: and he should be, because he did a really bad thing! And was legitimately a nutjob of a villain! But that's what makes it so, so good.

PARANORMAL/FANTASY ROMANCE

The Four Horsemen by Laura Thalassa.

This series has the rather bold take of "what if the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse Fucked". Starting with Pestilence, bleeding into War and Famine, and ending with Death, this series is a bit bonkers. But it doesn't let up on the extent of the villainous heroes' determination to lay waste to the world. There is a lot of gore. There is a lot of moral ambiguity.

But it's also legitimately funny. Pestilence discovers the joys of a bathtub. Death receives his first blowjob and is like "I don't know, maybe the apocalypse is bad". It's campy, and it's fun, and it leans the fuck in to the concept. I would recommend reading these in order, as the love stories stand alone but the overall arc leads to a big finish (and there are lots of finishes in between, if you know what I'm say--)

The Tenebris Trilogy by Kathryn Ann Kingsley.

If you're interested in the occult and some Lovecraftian vibes set in a pseudo-1920s world, this is it. Our heroine is on the search for her brother, and who is to assist but his stuffy-hot professor who happens to be a cult leader and has perhaps merged his body with that of a Cthulu monster?

What's interesting about this series (which cannot be read as standalones, and must be read in order) is that our hero is legitimately loony tunes, and our heroine is into it. She falls in love with him and his monsters, and that does... extend to the physical. (Tentacles, everyone! Shadow tentacles! Think Venom.) I will add that there's a lovely secondary romance with a trans heroine (with a hero that's not a villain) and it is excellent, but at one point an antagonist is transphobic towards her. An attempted off-page forced detransition occurs. The main heroine is totally supportive of the secondary heroine and stops it, but read with caution.

Kiss of a Demon King by Kresley Cole.

This rare villainess/hero romance sees a sorceress heroine take a deposed demon king captive to coerce him into impregnating her so that she can bear his heir (all for villainous purposes, of course). Yes. So this book is heavy on the dubcon--lots of edging, lots of people chained to beds--but to be frank? He is into it. We have a stern, morally upright hero being driven to the brink by the baddest of bad girls, and it's great.

This book is a bit controversial because of the content, and I do recommend checking out my IAD Cheat Sheet before reading for a full list of triggers/details about the world of Immortals After Dark. But it reads fairly well on its own, and I personally adore it. The sex is hot, the romance is angsty, he gets back at her in every possible way, and it's so fun to see a villainess take center stage and bring out the dark side of such a noble hero.

Dreams of a Dark Warrior by Kresley Cole.

Here, we focus on an immortal valkyrie heroine who's had centuries of near-misses with her would-be Berserker love--every time she kisses him, he remembers his past lives with her and promptly dies in increasingly gruesome ways. He's always be good and loving to her... which is why she's so shocked when he returns to her, this time in the form of an immortal-hating torturer who's taken her captive.

This one is dark--yes, he does torture her (not that badly, but there are other scenes of torture at the hands of different villains which are... bad). But if you can hang in there, I think you'll find a very compelling romance with a legitimately troubled, intense hero and a woman he can't get out of his head. There's also a very, very good bathtub scene that turns into "let me blindfold you so you can't see my hideous scars".

Lothaire by Kresley Cole.

The villain romance to end all villain romances (best read after Dreams, so you get the one-two punch of a pair of very different villainous heroes). What happens when you mix a 3,000-year-old megalomaniacal vampire with a 24-year-old whip-smart human woman he believes houses the soul of the goddess he's supposed to wed? A fucking ride, and possibly my favorite romance ever, that's what.

Lothaire goes HARD. It goes hard on the villainy (this is a story of a villain falling in love, not a villain finding redemption), it goes hard on the sex (with possibly one of the most infamous sex scenes in romance, and I love every word of it), and it goes hard on the angst. As much as Lothaire fucks with Ellie's head and is determined to deny his love for her, she's determined to one-up on him and will never, ever break. I think this book is always best summed up in a scene early on where he kisses her, bites her lip, and draws back, smugly expecting horror--only to find her grinning through the blood and pulling him in for another kiss. Tell me that isn't villain romance perfection.

Sworn to the Shadow God by Ruby Dixon.

Not so much a super hard villain romance as it is a "falling in love with Death himself" book, this wacky romance finds our gamer girl heroine falling through a portal to another land and... yes, sworn as the mortal companion of the God of Death as he attempts to complete a trial set before him by the father god. It is funny, it is sexy, it's adventurous, and it is for the Reylos.

You think I'm joking. No. He is very clearly modeled after Kylo Ren, and he sweeps around in dark cloaks and emo smashes about being the God of the Death, and it is glorious. He's less bad than he is detached and uncaring, but, you know... Death. By the end of the book, though? He cares very much about one particular person.

Look, man. Check your triggers always, especially with romance novels about villains. These won't work for everyone. But I imagine... if you like a villain... some of these are for you.

#romance novel blogging #book recs #books #anyway happy fuckin v day

169 notes · View notes

istherewifiinhell · 19 days

Note

HM for the bingo: matoba, um um um. your least favorite oppie. your most favorite starscreamer. ummmmm. Abyssal Black Flame Dragon

HEHEHE

shitty id in alt. WELL THATS URRRR GUY. thats the guy thats nat.sume is about. pretty sure <- took me like a year to figure out this is not the case. he is silly. ive seen it in the gag manga. hessss a pretty loser goth in and out of drag what is not to like. im just assuming ur the most right about him i dunno if that means other ppl are wrong tho

joelle joelleity joelletwo is trying to get my ass murdered on tumblr dot gov. EDITED AND UPDATED. need to reflect that my constant with this one is i get why megs got like that

[alt]. ohhh buddy...... you asked. 1. no personality. 2. hate his whole vibe (aesthetics/affect) 3. BETRAYED THE REVOLUTION. 4. not a very good conflicted pasicfist if thats what they were gonna go for. 5. tee fee pee special. u know show dont tell. this is tell, then forget to bring up ever again. simply. simply. listen if the girlies in the tag have to make him interesting for their fanfic and fuck nasty shit (honourary) go with god. i have read good fic of him. but thats compliments to the fans. me personally. i would simply use any other iteration. i suppose u cant beat how DIVORCED this guy is. im not opposed any of his specific characteristics really. its the holistic sum thats my enemy.

DOODLING HEARTS AND GRAPHIC VIOLENCE ON THE SCANTRON <- which tf is that 🥁🔔

[ALT] actually can i edit this again lets do a bingo for bullying. he got bullied possible the most anyone has but ill bully him some more 😏🤨😳. now ur some ppl might think oh u like this screamer so much to u inversely not like this megs for beating him up. well not u tho. thats gotta be one of my favourite 2 minutes in all of tf kajdgbjfdhb. hes not real so hes fine with that i asked him myself. ANYWAY WHAT IF U WERE BACKED INTO A CORNER BY UR OWN VIOLENT IMPULSES AND CONSEQUENCES OF UR OWN ACTIONS and also millennia of unending war so u just decide to go full nihilist about it. and this literally saves your world and people. well not the ones u killed but most of em. and u keep winning <3 and ur pettiness and self severing survival instincts also saved the universe. btw. idk if i have HC so much as. i can see my reading of the text not being universal but also im right <3. billybob thompson one of 2 fav non latta screamers. prettiest modern screamer design

out of LEFT field but i LOVE IT

[alt] wait how did u land on a orbeez side character i would at remember the vibes of enough to get double bingo. was it dragon sooyoung? kfjjdf. DO U KNOW. how often i watch something and think. this character would be improved if they were an edgy anime fourteen year old. WELL HERE IT IS. the most important thing u can be in the world is a shitty emo teen with a deviant art dragon fursona. i dont remember anything else im literally just like. thats perfect. what a shit head. the best character in the book now im saying so.

#some shit #its not called cisformers #THANKS FOR THE GUYS AND FOR INSPIRING ME TO GRAFFITI THE BINGO. A LOT MORE FUN A LOT MORE WORKABLE #phrase interpretation and obstinate personality problems about multiple choice. SOUNDLY DEFEATED. by playing toys #if some busy body trys to kill me for hating the websites most beloved tee fee iteration im haunting u. but ill just hang out so its fine #RO.BLOX FACE IS A STOLEN JOKE. (<- special privileges) i dont know what fucking ro.blox is.

14 notes · View notes

ppnuggie · 1 year

Note

💙💙I AWAKE FROM THE DEAD// I saw you were mainly doing MTMTE so here :)) ||

GN reader with trailcutter, skids, swerve, Megatron and roddy [separate] [headcannons], them reacting to reader flirting with them? fluff, crack do whatever I need my Teebs bro,got me feeling empty 😭😭

achoo see you next year prob idk, happy times💙💙

　　　　　　MTMTE x gn human reader

　　　　『　trailcutter ,, swerve ,, megatron ,, rodimus ,, gender neutral human reader 』

　　-> bots reaction to reader flirting w/ em 🫣

　　— fluff ,, sfw ,, crack

　　— yep ! see ya next year ! :D i mean ,, it will be next year when this is posted 💀 but i am writing it on dec.30 rn 🫣 ughh teebs 😞😞 i just got the part where he dies im so heartbroken ,, my mans ,, 😭😭😭 he didnt deserve alla that ,, smh ,, but tysm for requesting 😏 tbh i might not actually be online for this to be posted ,, bc this is in my queue along with many other things to be posted later 🫣 so theres a little update for not having links updated in the second masterlist 🕺

trailcutter ::

• he’d be quite flustered ,, not sure what to say not only because he was most likely super drunk but also surprised you were flirting with him

• any time you compliment him for something ,, his fans will kick on immediately ,, and whenever you’re not around some mechs might coo at him and make smoochy noises ,, mainly whirl

• he may try to return the compliments ,, though he’ll end up tripping over his words and end up more flustered if you say something about it

• primus help this man ,, hes just ,, stuck dealing with these flirty lines and little compliments whenever you decide to just drop them outta nowhere ,, swerve swears that one day he’ll combust if he has to see this sappy romance continue on for any longer !

swerve ::

• he might brush it off as a joke ,, or a dare if anything ,, because why of all people would you flirt with him ? swerve ? the annoyingly loud mech who doesnt shut up ?

• of course you’d have to reassure him that it isnt a dare ,, or just you trying to get something out of him ,, but that you generally like him

• he’ll malfunction right then and there and then ratchet will have to deal with another bot ,, poor ratchet 😞

• he may try to return any compliment with a horrible pick up line ,, but end up think you’re laughing at him and not the worst pick up line ever to be heard in the universe

megatron ::

• megs would be ,, confused but also flustered ,, because have you not seen him ? dont you know of the things he’s done ? hes megatron ! a feared bot throughout many parts of the universe ,, known to kill humans

• and yet here you are ,, sitting beside him as you read his poetry that you somehow persuaded him to show you with your little secret magic hypnosis ,, and now youre calling him cute

• he’d scoff ,, say that he wasnt cute in his mind ,, but not mutter a single word out loud

• he wouldnt know what to do ,, and instead just sit there in silence and listen to your attempts to flirt with the mech

rodimus ::

• he’d return it immediately ,, but with horrible compliments and pick up lines

• one time he said “ nice shoelace “ after you said he looked stunning with the new paint job after his recent mishap on another planet ,, and he keeps thinking back on it to this day ,, wondering why he said shoelace ,, like he even knows what a shoelace is 🙄

• ultra magnus would be so done with you two ,, because roddy would decide to start flirting with you during the meeting and despite you not returning any remarks or even acknowledging you even heard him ,, the mech continues

• even after megs passive aggressively told him to “ stop with the nonsense “ he only continued ,, only 10x worse this time

345 notes · View notes

apollosgiftofprophecy · 6 months

Note

"Of Bridges Built and Burned" 👀

I really like the title

I think i'm a genius with titles haha

tagging @moodyseal because this is based off some clowning we did together

So. Moody had let slip about a certain "how Commodus could be redeemed" au and I slid into the ask box and we clowned out over it.

Anyway. It's Copollo (obviously- this is ME we're talking about haha) and begins with Apollo and Commodus conveniently being stuck in the same place in TDP and have to talk/scream their dirty laundry out.

This, of course, brings certain things to light. Because, if I recall correctly, Apollo was never the one to bring up The Assassination - Commodus was always the one doing that and getting angry about it.

However, Apollo never did- he only ever talked about it in detail to Jo, then gave the Sparknotes to Leo & Meg. He never actually talked about it, and therefore never spoke of what drove him to do it.

Which means, Commodus doesn't know the real reason(s) why Apollo killed him. He just assumes Apollo didn't love him as much as he thought- but that's where he's wrong! >:)

So imagine them stuck in that room, Commodus ranting and raving about how Apollo's such a traitor, and a lier, you gave me your blessings and then murdered me, you never cared did you? and Apollo's sitting there just taking it until- fuck this shit- and starts yelling back at Commodus, about how people were going to kill him anyway but Apollo couldn't bear to let anybody kill him but him (because that's very healthy, right?🤡) and when he's done they're both standing there in silence.

Oh yeah. While that's happening they've had to work together to get out of the place so when they do get out they just. awkwardly go separate ways.

BUT WE'RE NOT FINISHED YET!

Apollo and company are in a situation (probably because of Caligula) and lo and behold, Commodus does something to help 'em out.

Because reasons.

Then when everything's said and done- Nero's dead, Python's dead, all the fasces and fascists are destroyed...

Commodus is still alive. And now I, Alder, slap on my "start combining history and RRverse" hat and give u a small history lesson! :D

In Ancient Rome, emperors were deified by the Senate. Notable examples are Caesar Augustus, Marcus Aurelius, and...Commodus.

Nero and Caligula were not.

Interesting how Commodus is the only Triumvirate emperor who's been historically deified...

and if we factor that lil' history nugget into this AU...who's to say Copollo still can't prevail? (🤡)

Of course, now I must direct your attention to the "Burned" part of the title. As much as it pains my Copollo shipper heart, neither of them have to forgive/forget what the other has done, and therefore simply may not ever speak to each other ever again- Apollo would leave Commodus be, provide he doesn't go back onto more "end the world" things- and that would be the end of their story.

Painful. Tragic. I love it and them.

though i wouldn't be opposed to them getting back together eventually either...

and Meg dragging them to couples' therapy. and both of them to a therapist in general.

They both need to desperately sort out their own issues before anything, especially if they do reignite their relationship.

Because ah...they were both doing some heavy projecting-of-issues onto the other.

although that's part of the reason why i love them so much they're so toxic and entertaining it's so good

#the oracle speaks #of bridges built and burned #copollo #amiti-art #fic asks #ask and replies #asked and answered #apollo #commodus #the trials of apollo

25 notes · View notes

acknowledge-reigns · 3 months

Text

Oh btw Meg ATE on hiss. Period. And the amount of stuff I can use for Roman x Meg Lyrics tho ❤☝🏾 Hotties + Roman Empire we up.

"Y'all goofy ass hoes look so dumb everytime y'all celebrate fake news. Ha! Using my name for likes and views. I don't give a fuck what y'all make trend, bitch, I still win. Ah!"

"Hoes get views when they tryna diss me. Make one move, got em in a tizzy. Killing shit, that's why they tryna rip me. Still going hard with the odds against me."

"And they still tuned in if they fans or not."

"These blogs get paid to lie, y'all talk shit and be broke as fuck. Bottom line is I'm still rich. Yeah..."

"Ask a ho why she don't like me, bet she can't give you a reason..."

#Roman x meg lyrics #roman reigns #the tribal chief #wwe roman reigns #head of the table #the head of the table #the only one

17 notes · View notes

spnmarchmadness · 1 year

Text

Supernatural March Madness: Round 1, Match 19

1x22 Summary: Its the season one finale baby! dean and sam are trying to track down john while meg taunts 'em that john is long dead. while exorcising meg, they learn john is in missouri and they hit the road. sam is dead set on killing yellow eyes, causing dean to compare sam and john. after rescuing john and wasting a bullet in the colt, dean realizes his dad wouln't be proud of him. his dad is possessed. they exorcise the demon but not before sam does NOT kill his dad. boom. car crash!

12x11 Summary: welcome to the crab pot. dean gets hit by a spell that slowly erases his memory. sam and rowena race against the clock to reverse the spell before dean forgets to breathe and die. dean is despeately clinging to his memory and ends up saving himself with a gun with a post it for witch killing bullets.

put dean in the crab pot!! add in the old bay. now thats good eats.

#spnmarchmadnessr1 #spnmarchmadness

92 notes · View notes

miraculousbohemian · 1 month

Text

Found a Vine site while procrastinating so I'll bless you with this thing.

Gabrielle: Xena, oh my gods...

Xena: what??

Gabrielle: Is that a hickey?

Xena: What? No, it's my Pop Tart, I was saving it for later. *eats it*

Ares, yelling into a valley: PENIS

Also Ares: *trips over a bag of McDonald's*

Joxer: Who's coming to my party on Saturday, there's gonna be a taco guy there.

Ares: we're going to Aphrodite's, there's gonna be a spaghetti guy there.

Joxer: fuck the spaghetti guy.

Ares: fuck you.

Leah: Yeah, that's the bee's knees.

Meg: The cat's pajamas!

Diana: ...the chicken's trousers???

Meg: what the fuck was that diana.

Leah: you guys, come on-

Random dude: yeah, I actually gave my horse swim lessons

Xena: oh that's cool dude... My horse gave me swim lessons.

Dude: what.

Xena: she's a life guard.

Con man: so you'll do it?

Joxer, sipping a drink: yeah man I'll kill him

Con man: for how much?

Joxer: *fucking around and about to find out* i dunno, 30?

Con man: Thirty grand?

Joxer: *spits out drink*

Ares: so i invite my dad to my birthday party and he shows up, but only to take a shit and leave. what's up with that?

Xena: hey guys, happy Ares Sucks Thursday!

Ares: what's Ares Sucks Thursday?

Gabrielle: why would we ever tell you ares.

Xena: and you wrote here that you were an assassin?

Eve: yes sir.

Xena: h-h-how? how many confirmed kills do you-

Xena: yo dude. we can talk with our minds now so we'll be in each other's heads.

Ares: forever?

Xena: exactly bitch.

Ares: ...oh no.

*pop*

S6 Gabrielle: I'm you from the future

S1 Gabrielle: YEAH OBVIOUSLY BITCH

S6 Gabrielle: I don- I don't remember acting like that-

(if ares wasn't a girlfail in S5EP17/18 I can't remember the one with fake death hijinks)

Eve: mom, dad, why isn't Argo moving?

Xena and Gabrielle: *share a look*

Gabrielle: Argo killed herself.

Xena: killed herself, honey.

S1 Gabrielle: alright, so your total will be 2.29 dinars and a kiss on the lips

S1 Xena: no.

S1 Gabrielle: hah. yes.

Julius: wow me in five seconds, go.

Xena: waddup my name's Xena, I'll stab you if you do not hire me and i love horses

Julius: ...i guess you're hired.

Xena: ARE YOU SERIOUSLY?!

Gabrielle: hey, we think school maths sucks so we made our own, show 'em Eve

Eve: alright, so, instead of, like, numbers we use trees

Aphrodite: hey everybody today my brother pushed me so I'm starting a Kickstarter to put him down. The benefits of killing him would be I would get pushed way less.

Gabrielle: how much money would you give me to fall asleep right now?

Xena, visibly sleep deprived: I dunno, like a billion dinars?

Gabrielle, internally: i woke up the next morning, a billionaire.

Meg: can I use the restroom?

Leah: i don't know, can you?

Meg, getting up: yeah

Leah: where are you going?

Meg: I'm gonna go poop.

Meg: stop copying me

Xena: stop copying me

Meg: I'm gay.

Xena: you are?

Meg: I've been waiting so long to tell you

Xena: it's okay man-

(first two are it's just luke, others are Josh Kennedy, both from Vine)

#i dunno #xena warrior princess #xwp #do yall wanna see a continuation of this #alright now for the tags #xena #gabrielle #xena and gabrielle #joxer the mighty #ares xwp #ares #aphrodite xwp #aphrodite #meg xwp #leah xwp #princess diana xwp #vines #this was sm fun

7 notes · View notes

frodo-with-glasses · 1 year

Text

Discord Highlights: Bilbo Gamgee

From a discussion on 4/28/23

meg is me:

Headcanon for no reason that Bilbo Gamgee is like my own bby cousin who spoke zero words until he was like 2 and a half and then suddenly decided to talk one day and turns out he had been building quite the vocabulary 😂

InvisibleWashboard:

That goes well with our previously established chaos gremlin lore, I think.

meg is me:

is baby bilbo autistic. Maybe. Yes.

InvisibleWashboard:

Yo, so for some reason for YEARS I have thought Pippin's wife is autistic. Don't know where that came from or why, but it's firmly stuck in my head.

meg is me:

Little bilbo gets it into his curly little head that dwarves WILL come to his house one day and he's always watching for them Gimli and Legolas come for a visit one time Bilbo goes WILD with excitement IT'S TIME that it is one dwarf and an elf and not 13 and a wizard bothers him not a trifle

Me:

Bilbo swiftly gets himself into a wrestling match with Gimli

InvisibleWashboard:

And Legolas and Gimli definitely take him on a mini adventure while they're visiting.

Writing Valkyrie:

He asks Gimli about his beard.

Me:

*Mean Girl voice* “Oh my GOSH, Bilbo, you can’t just ask people why they have beards!”

Writing Valkyrie:

He wants to know for when he has his own beard! Gimli is like, "Um, lad, I don't know if you'll have a beard." But still teaches him anyways..

Me:

Where’s that headcanon post about the Brandybucks being the only hobbits who can grow even a little bit of facial hair, and Merry is inordinately proud that he has three chin hairs he’s gotta shave every day??

InvisibleWashboard:

Estella absolutely makes fun of him relentlessly for this.

Writing Valkyrie:

He treats 'em with the same importance and respect as the three hairs Galadriel gave Gimli.

meg is me:

Little bilbo asks to see the map of The Mountain and the key and everything and Gimli is like.... here's a Gondor map? And bilbo is like YES but you gotta put a dragon on it and Gimli is like I borrowed this from aragorn I can't deface it and Legolas is like I personally will draw you a dragon little hobbit child

Legolas can't draw

InvisibleWashboard:

Legolas not being able to draw is giving me fits.

meg is me:

I imagine little Bilbo being adamant that he is BILBO And he wants Bilbo's adventure When he leaves the house he forgets his handkerchief on purpose just so he can say he forgot it 😂 He loves Gimli because Dwarves are essential to The Bilbo Story He hears Legolas is from Mirkwood and he is OVER THE MOON

Me:

This is 100% in keeping with Tolkien’s own epilogue (in which all the Gamgee kids are nearly carbon copies of their namesakes) (Except for Frodo Gamgee, who is a carbon copy of Sam)

Windmill to the Stars:

Frodo simply cannot be copied

meg is me:

Elanor is more like Frodo than her brother is

Me:

this is why she’s Frodo’s favorite in the Magnolia AU

meg is me:

Help i am becoming obsessed with autistic!Bilbo Gamgee

InvisibleWashboard:

No help, just encouragement in your obsession.

Windmill to the Stars:

Now we all have our favorite bbys XD

meg is me:

He can RECITE "there and back again" Or at least large portions of it

Bilbo jr wants to be a spider killer but Elanor hates killing things and he refuses to make his sister sad

"Dad" "Yes, lad?" "Dad i dont think I want to kill a spider" "You don't have to, son" "You did." does sam admit the spider might still be alive

Me:

no. that just makes it worse

Windmill to the Stars:

Bilbo gets to kill spiders once Elanor marries and leaves Bag End

chaosandwhatnot:

The days before her wedding, he would constantly look at the spiders with narrowed evil eyes and tell them that it is only a matter of time

meg is me:

Becomes a Ghostbuster

Spiderbuster

InvisibleWashboard is @invisiblewashboard, Writing Valkyrie is @writingvalkyrie, Windmill to the Stars is @windmilltothestars, chaosandwhatnot is @grondds-and-roses, and meg is me does not have tumblr :-3

#fig tree discord server #bilbo gamgee #gimli #legolas #elanor gamgee #samwise gamgee #frodo gamgee #and a short detour to make fun of:#meriadoc brandybuck #merry #my writing #other people's writing #lord of the rings #lotr

27 notes · View notes

dorkicon · 8 months

Note

Probably a basic option, but Megatron for the character ask?

i think ur actually one of the few ppl whove sent me megs for an ask meme HAHA

• First impression

i have no idea! like i watched the transformers movie a lot as a kid but i cant really remember how i actually felt about anyone. lol. i was somewhat confused by galvatron for a while as in i uh. got em mixed up a lot b4 i got back into the series lol

•Impression now

autism brain has kicked in 👍 hes one of my favorite guys. i think he has some interesting quirks for being, at his core, a silly 80s cartoon villian...he almost has dimensions to his personality. and i wont go off on a tangent about it. i wont.

anyway marvel megatron has left an impression on me by being a neurotic weirdo. mmmm earthspark megatron is cool. i think uh. my favorite megatrons are just the lame old guys. shout out to cyberverse n prime wars. real ones know.

•Favorite moment

i dont knooooow ^__^ heres a scene from marvel that i think about sometimes. smooth metal skin. why did they write that. (context: prime is dead again and megatron doesnt believe it bc he didnt kill him himself.) added another image from the comic to make the post less ginormous on mobile. yippey.

•Idea for a story

um i guess this counts as an idea. i have a mostly (?) written fic about megatron being a medical freak of nature. hes just been giving himself strange and increasingly dangerous patch jobs for years bc he wont let any medics near him. admittedly its more of a ratchet and hook fic (bonding by patching up a warlord!) but hes there too. good luck big guy.

•Unpopular opinion

people who hc megatron as dark and sexy are dead wrong in my humble opinion. the man has zero game. he is not a svelte and suave character. hes got an absence of rizz. look at me. like im not ur dad, live ur truth, but cmon.

•Favorite relationship

im primus' stupidest megop warrior. also i like megasound. he has two hands.

•Favorite headcanon

hes a pretty good mechanic i think. at least in g1. he seems capable of just like...building guys. in one episode its said he builds the constructicons. this would not be revisited. but i remember. i remember those weird ass prime clones too.

#its been a while since ive shamelessly advertised ye olde megop server. i should do that again sometime #THANKS FOR THE ASK. (stage bow) love having an excuse 2 talk about ol buckethead #megatron

16 notes · View notes

tarnishedspark · 3 months

Note

🌀Post the fic summary for a fic you haven't written/published yet. It can be hypothetical or something you really plan on releasing...

❄️Share a snippet from a WIP of your choosing.

🌤️Share your favorite piece of dialogue from your WIP.

🌧️Share something angsty from your WIP.

🌈 Share something soft/fluffy from your WIP.

💧Share something romantic/hot from your WIP, or just something sweet if it's gen.

🌩️ Share something funny/cracky from your WIP.

☔Is there a fic concept you have that you'd like to just explain and share because you're not sure you'll ever write it? If so, what is it?

🌪️Sum up a WIP with a few fic tropes/Ao3 tags.

All the things? Okay, all the things. ill put in a show more because Long

Unpublished fic summary:

Drift's story is diverted by a visit from multiverse-hopping Cloud Universe Deadlock who shows him his future in the form of the Drift comics, and implies that he'll be killed by the djd if he becomes Drift again. Turns out he kills the DJD instead.

Snippet from a WIP:

enjoy some sparkeater skywarp

Skywarp dropped the empty husk of the vehicon as the glow of a fusion cannon lit up his field of vision and reflected off the energon spread across his hands, plating and slithering tendril lines. "Hey Megs," Skywarp greeted, a note of fear slipping into the familiar greeting, "This isn't what it looks like." He slowly raised his hands in surrender, keeping them in view. The briefest glimmer of confusion touched the disgust on his leader's visage. "You mean to convince me that one of my most valuable officers has not become a creature of lesser bots' nightmares, as you are kneel here drenched in the lifeblood of one of your subordinates, the picture of a creature of tales of yore, having consumed your victim's very spark?" Megatron replied. "Okay maybe it is what it looks like," Skywarp conceded. Megatron's laughter boomed through the small meetingroom space. His fusion cannon powered down. Everyone else behind him shuffled uncomfortably.

Favourite piece of dialogue from WIP:

Somethin from the next chapter of Gladiator Hours . Definitely spoilers.

Ravage sniffed around them some more. "What is that smell? I can hardly get any of your scent past it." "Scented oil." "Oh, la-di-da mister fancy bot." "Oil: was free." "I guess a city bot like you can't go around smelling like actual garbage forever. What would your fellow fancy job bots think?" "Soundwave: gladiator," Soundwave huffed again. The gladiator pits were hardly anyplace fancy, let alone pleasant smelling. "Smell: irrelevant. Better than anyone else without scented oil." Ravage looked up into his visor with a mischievous glint in his optics. "Not content to smell like a warrior, then?" Of course Ravage had heard about that. Why wouldn't his embarrassment have been spread to the furthest corners of the planet, to be known even by those who had been expelled from civilisation.

Something angsty from your WIP

hmmm probably Too spoilersy to take smth from Gladiator Hours again here. Let's pick out a different one... Oh yes, this one is slmost 100% angst. Working title "grounded"

He stopped before the large door. Megatron's quarters had remained empty since their leader's demise. Soundwave doubted anyone had entered. Likely no one even knew they could. Soundwave palmed open the door and engaged the lock behind him. Within, the room was untouched. It could have been any other day he came to spend time with the warlord, were it not for the darked lights and the eerie emptiness. Soundwave climbed up on the berth, a large space that felt cold and exposed, and clutching a large pillow close curled in on himself. His best friend was gone. Laserbeak was far away, living a new life. All he had left were the few remaining frayed threads of the Cause. He didn't know if they were even worth holding onto.

Something soft/fluffy from your WIP:

you have No Idea how hard it was to find a bit I've actually written already, i think i went through every wip. have some cyberverse Soundwave x hot rod, featuring a song by Aerosmith

It was a long transport trip Soundwave was taking him on. At some point Hot Rod fell into recharge, stretched across an entire bank of plush seating. It was the most comfortable he had been in longer than he could remember. When he awoke he found Soundwave sitting opposite him, watching with an intensity that only Soundwave could manage. From Soundwave's speakers, an Earth song was quietly playing. 🎵Don't want to close my eyes, I don't want to fall asleep, 'Cause I'd miss you baby, And I don't want to miss a thing🎵 Hot Rod blinked. 🎵'Cause even when I dream of you, The sweetest dream will never do, I'd still miss you baby, And I don't want to miss a thing🎵 "Aww, you missed me too?" Hot Rod asked, sitting up excitedly. The music cut off with a startled record scratch. "Of course not," Soundwave replied dismissively. A contradictory squawk came from the cockpit. "Perhaps a bit," Soundwave conceded, shuffling his feet nervously. Hot Rod grinned. He didn't know how much he had needed to hear that until he did.

Something romantic/hot or sweet:

okay we're going with this for "hot" because i have spent so long looking for snippets already this will do

Starscream was left with a scene of carnage and limbs. Soundwave moved amongst it all, his data cables extended and their claws ripping savagely at targets Starscream was sure the mech couldn't even see. His broad arms deflected blows and blaster fire alike as he moved and dodged and weaved expertly through the fray. ::Stay down:: Soundwave commed, casting a pointed glance in his direction. Starscream's wings raised indignantly, but he quickly pulled them back down again as blaster fire passed close overhead. The next thing he knew, Soundwave was ontop of him. Deft digits passed across his frame, checking for injuries. While Soundwave had effectively cleared the nearby area, Starscream was anxious not to be caught by surprise again. Raising one arm, he fired one of his rockets into the throng of enemy forces. The Autobots exploded in an eruption of flame and light. Finding only the scorch mark on his wing and a few scrapes and dents from the crash, Soundwave pulled Starscream to his feet. Perhaps it was the thrill of battle, or the buzz of energon in his lines, but Starscream couldn't help notice the rise of charge in his frame as he brushed up against the communications chief. This absolute beast of a mech who handled him with such care. That was something he would have to address later.

Something funny/cracky:

Earthspark post- season 1 Shockwave is just here now too.

"Mrrr,” Shockwave rumbled. A cow lowed in refurn. "Mrro." Shockwave mooed. "Hey Shockwave, what're you doing?" Thrash questioned, watching the scientist skeptical. "I am attempting to decipher these creatures' language." Shockwave replied, listening intently to the sounds the herd made. "You mean we'll be able to tell what Fluffyears is saying? That's so exciting!" Hashtag declared, popping up out of seemingly nowhere, "What are they saying right now? How long until we can learn to speak cow too?" "It may take some time. They do not appear to have a defined sentence structure."

A fic concept:

Star trek: the motion picture crossover with transformers. The planet Voyager went to was Cybertron. Crossover with the rest of star trek. Make Shockwave and Spock meet and make them tell eachother they're being illogical. I don't know what would happen here but I am sure there is fun to be had.

sum up a wip with tropes/ao3 tags:

oh this is the part i am Worst at. Luckily I've started putting these at the top of my documents as I think of them to make it a bit easier when it gets to posting time. I have an earthspark soundwave/swindle wip here with the following listed: developing relationship, annoyance to lovers, Swindle being Swindle

phew that took A While

#ask game #fanfiction writing #transformers

4 notes · View notes

ladysisyphus · 1 year

Text

And now, for a mix literally a year and a half (to the day!) in the making, ready for you to put in your ears:

I'll face down the world with you: a Word of Honor mix

(Cover art by @bisouette; used with permission)

Full track list and a tiny bit of commentary under the cut:

Alexa Melo - The Beautiful People It's not your fault that you're always wrong / The weak ones are there to justify the strong

The Mountain Goats - Younger Big smile on my face / Capsule just in case / Underneath my tongue

Billie Eilish - You Should See Me in a Crown Watch me make 'em bow / One by one by one

Saint Mesa - Blackest Hand I've been coming, short breathing / I've been killing my demons

Slothrust - Cranium I don't want to be like all those other boys / Who tell you that they get you / But we both know that they do not get you

Andrew Belle - The Enemy Don't try to follow me / I would hold you down if I could

Whitehorse - Nighthawks Let me in / Let me in / Let me underneath your skin

Mikky Ekko - Who Are You, Really? I have nothing left to prove / 'Cause I have nothing left to lose / See me bare my teeth for you

Girlyboi - Whole You're beautiful it's true / I don't know what to do / I'm dependent over you

Halsey - Gasoline Are you insane like me? Been in pain like me?

Des Rocs - Used to the Darkness And everyone that I knew / Was lost and so long forgotten after you

St. Vincent - Smoking Section And sometimes I go to the edge of my roof / And I think I'll jump just to punish you

To Kill a King - Bloody Shirt (Bastille Remix) It's too late to say you're sorry / Say you're sorry still

Meg Myers - Numb I hate the feeling of this weight upon my shoulders / Pushing the pressure down on me

Pianos Become the Teeth - Say Nothing Whatever keeps your heart light / Whatever keeps you is all right by me

Fear of Men - Sane I possess nothing I'm free from fear / I'm a monument to myself

One Two - Bitter and Sick Come on and break me down / I’ll let you ruin my day

Wolfie's Just Fine - Break My Back You say you'll take me to the sun / But I just need a flame

No/Me - Pass the Knife I've always been the type / To kiss a crooked smile

My Chemical Romance - The Sharpest Lives There's a place in the dark where the animals go / You can take off your skin in the cannibal glow

Eliza Rickman - Pretty Little Head Take a breath, my heart, and hold your tongue / It's just a cog in the year of all my love

Lanks - Man They talk of ‘man’ but you can see / What bravery is without a violent streak

Madalen Duke - How Villains are Made Two armies are coming at me / Their flags and weapons look the same / One tells the truth, the other's lying / And they're both calling my name

Geographer, CLARA-NOVA - Blue Obsession If I saw a way out / Would you follow me down?

Frightened Rabbit - Acts of Man I have never wanted more to be your man / And build a house around you

Shallows - Empire of the Animal You are what you eat and you are starving / You're nothing to me when you are hiding / I'm just waiting to see if you survive me

Murder By Death - Big Dark Love Pain like a searing light / Cuts like a dull knife / Are you awake / Can I come over tonight

Emily Wells - Antidote (Live Arrangement) To tell you the truth / To tell you the truth I was born a liar

Brick + Mortar - Dead Moon He's a dead one, I'm the grim reaper / Can you feel me, I can feel your fever

PHILDEL - Holes in Your Coffin If the word of the law doesn't get you / And the guilt you ignore's gonna set you / Free, free, free

Koda - white dove You're a silver-tongued jackboot thug with / White skin but you're no white dove

MXMS - Gravedigger I think it's a good idea if you stay the fuck away from me

Everything Everything - White Whale Never tell me that we can't go further

Phoebe Bridgers, Abby Gundersen, Noah Gundersen - Killer + The Sound I am sick of the chase, but I'm hungry for blood / And there's nothing I can do

Daughter - Burn It Down Never knew I could be speechless / Don't know how I'll ever break this curse

Hozier - Shrike Remember me, love / When I'm reborn

Emma Blackery - Brutus Set me up to fall / Think you're in control / But I'm taking back what you stole

Kellermensch - Lost At Sea If you wait around long enough / Then everything begins to rust

flora cash - Down on Your Knees Almost winning and now I don't know / But it seems like it's almost away from me

Julien Baker, Helios - Bloodshot (Helios Remix) Isn't like I did it on purpose / I just forget the second I learn it / Everything I get I deserve

The Moth & The Flame - Empire & the Sun I could never love someone who could love someone like me

aeseaes - Carrion Comfort I'm craving an excuse / Dumb danger to let loose / The dogs to fight

IAMX - The Power And The Glory It's a mess in here/ I've been drinking myself blind again

CLANN - I Hold You Just breathe through me / We'll keep the fires alight / I'll face down the world with you

Out Came the Wolves - Lowland Hum I will love you when there's nothing left

Absolutely, positively listen to this in order. It's a conversation.

#word of honor #fst

27 notes · View notes

istherewifiinhell · 2 months

Note

i also want to give u megs and his duplicitous sluts but i have not sorted out their names to memory. the ones i enjoyed from the clips and any other ones he may have that make a fun duo with him

GOD BLESS U KFHBGJHDF o777

technically in terms of duplicitous sluts i feel like thats just screamer, and a small minority of like. only in one show guys (knock out the gay car, par example). (assuming meaning = duplicitous TO megs) beast wars megs, whose crew is made of entirely of ppl who want to over throw him, minus two extremely horny for him (googles how ants are related to scorpions) Antropods. is an outlier and is not being counted.

but i CAN do u. megstar variations. plus extras.

also COMPLETE opposite of a duplicitous slut megs and his most loyal guy sound.wave (tape deck guy. deadpan guy) is a constant standby classic. competency ship. and comedy gold. and even tho i dont like the show it gets extra comedy points in prime cause that megs is completely off his shit fucked up over the meg.op breakup and (plot bullshit) cursed amulet rocks. i DO think this specific sounders is like. probably ready to explode about how badly this whole operation is going. also all megs are fond of creatures (bond villian ass trait) and he comes with em. so makes sense if tf was a world ruled by logic (its not) and mid compelling.

knock out is only duplicitous when hes following screamer to over throw megs but he has the MUCH higher quotient survival instincts so WILL chicken out and run away. AGAIN in a world with a less divorced megs this would be funny. most deadly guy every and his little unserious fop. who does violence and medical malpractice for fun. does NOT make sense. compels me for its LACK

SAME show meg.star is like. this show is logically challenged. so it doesnt make sense. nothing they do makes sense. its not HIGH on the compells me scale cause its not very cunty either. but theres merits. its. extant.

cv meg.star. already made that post. more unstable variant in the makes sense stat. im eating it up tho.

g1 meg.star THE GOAT!!! makes sense TO MEEEE. Compels MEEEEE. this is cartoon universe with cartoon logic its like tom and jerry romance. please. makes sense in context. COMPELLING

animated meg.star. essentially the same as g1 but screamer basically actually kills megs in ep 1 and when megs gets his body back he kills screamer right back. but. (plot magic crystal) screamer becomes unkillable so. they just go back on to trying to kill each other. EXPLAINED IN UNIVERSE. makes sense slapstick. slightly less compels me personally BUT not its fault.

arm.ada meg.star. THIS ONE IS ACTUALLY REAL AND SAD. instead of an over throwing screamer this one turncoated to the good guys. and hes so conflicted and sad and whatever. wet cat. this arm megs actually beat screamer in a duel and was like. well maybe one day youll get good enough to beat me (chewing glass). AND for the final arc of. the bots and cons have to work together. megs too driven by his own shit to see the.. (handwave) existential threat to them all. oppie is fighting him (their normal way of solving debates) and screamer actually BUTTS IN like. this is MY dramatic emotional gay fight scene. gets fatally wounded on purpose just to ask megs to work with them. 'do it for me'. LITERALLY REAL MAKES SENSE in a tragic failed way. infinitely compelling.

#some shit #its not called cisformers #links all of my own posts just for clarity and bc ive become a wiki imitating monster #took a while cause i got called away to other posts then needed to eat THEN added the links. <- saying so cause its funny to know.

5 notes · View notes