#and no one gave a fuck about adam in the first season but now a subreddit is investigating his disappearance?

[01zfan]

argue with you pt. 3 | s.es

valedictorian!eunseok x debate team leader!reader | 17.9k words

the long awaited part three. i hope the actually insane word count makes up for how long i kept you guys waiting heh. thank you again for 1k and that you for support the argue with you series.

ALSO HAPPY BIRTHDAY EUNSEOKKKK

argue with you: part one | part two | part three

contains: no content warning enjoyyyyy

you haven’t been the best leader of your team lately. in your defense, you may have been too hard on yourself. in fact, if you were to ask anyone on your team about your performance as a leader this season they would only say great things. besides the fact that you seemed distracted. it had gotten to the point that your team had exhausted every synonym of the word during the season.

when you’d mess up calling out events you were preoccupied. when you had to correct wrong information you gave to your teammates you were inattentive. when you would lose your footing and almost trip over nothing you were absentminded. it had gotten to the point that the only time you weren’t flustered was when you were debating. 

they didn’t blame you for seeming distracted. your team came to the conclusion all on their own that you were constantly thinking about your last competition season and how the stakes were raising with each win. they believed you were stressed and felt the pressure for your team to perform well. no one knew the real reason, why your mind seemed to be in a million places at once. when you weren’t debating you were thinking about your debate partner and what you two would do when you were alone. when calling out events you would see eunseok’s name written beside yours on the clipboard and lose track of your thoughts. 

at first your dirty mind would drift to what he looked like on top of you at the previous competitions when he’d sneak into your room after light’s out. you mind would force you to remember how foolishly adamant you were about not fucking in missionary. you thought about how once you started, you couldn’t go back. you lived for each competition not just to debate but also for what you knew was coming each night. either one of you would give your secret knock on the others door after the competition to be let in instantly. in the beginning you two would act only on carnal desires, taking off clothes and clashing teeth before stumbling onto the bed. you two barely spoke in the beginning besides teases and taunts, or the occasional that feels good and right there’s.

as the season progressed the air around you and eunseok changed. the desire was still there, in fact you believe it started to burn brighter than before. sometimes it felt like you were on the verge of combustion, especially when the sun would set on competition days and the anticipation started setting in. but as you started being around eunseok more and more you would see his name on the clipboard next to yours and think about how soft his hands always were and how he started looking at you with so much care. you starting thinking about how much eunseok was beside you at school now, walking you to your classes and sitting at your lunch table. he always made sure to get you the food you liked in line so you could get an extra serving.

when you tried to give pointers to your teammates you started thinking about how both you and eunseok started helping eachother in regards to debate. you would accidentally give your teammates tips that helped the enemy team while you recalled eunseok showing you how to sway the lay judges, teaching you how to convey confidence through your body language and tone. you learned then that eunseok was shyer than you. he was an extreme introvert who just so happened to have an aura people were drawn to. 

the same way he taught you, you gave him pointers on how to save an argument that seemed unsalvageable. it was run-of-the-mill stuff for you, but each tip you gave eunseok’s eyes would focus and he’d nod his head eagerly. it was the same head nod he’d give you in bed when you told him to touch you a certain way or the nod he’d give when you started losing your ability to speak. 

clumsiness wasn’t something that you struggled with before eunseok. but when he was close, you felt yourself tripping over nothing, foot catching on air or something that wasn’t there. eunseok was no better, sometimes stopping for no reason while passing by you. he let his head follow you down hallways and across stages, always stopping mid sentence. he left his friends wondering what he was looking at and your friends would joke that you wore shoes a size too big.

everything was easier when it was just sex with eunseok. you two had set rules aside, a shared google document with a million codewords that could not be cracked by the average person. it was written meticulously, never openly saying the word sex and posing the rules in debate format. it was excessive, but necessary for your peace of mind. your teammates and sponsors often asked for you to share documents with them and the thought of accidentally sharing a document with them that had the logistics of your sexual arrangement with eunseok made your heart drop. you even considered making a whole new email just for the document, but eunseok convinced you it wasn’t necessary. you both compromised by wording the rules in a way that would confuse anyone so immensely they wouldn’t even bother trying to decipher it. eunseok found himself reading the manifesto—the name he came up with—shaking his head as he tried to understand what you were writing on the other side of the screen. 

many rules on the manifesto were broken pretty early on. you two actually had to start writing in the margins to keep track of who was breaking which rules. 

eunseok was the one who broke the rule of no kissing. before you two hooked up for the second time, you made a point to stop his lips from touching yours. who broke the rule was decided after a heavy debate between the two of you. you argued that because you were the one who first denied kissing eunseok it made no sense that you were the one to blame for breaking the no kissing rule. eunseok argued that you only set the rule so it could be broken. he also made the point that no kissing wasn’t in writing when he kissed you. it was arguably a moment of weakness for him, lost in the moment when you emerged underneath the sheets after sucking him off. eunseok saw the spit in the corner of your mouth that you wiped away with the back of your hand, and the glassy look in your eyes that told him you pushed yourself a little past your limit just to make sure he felt good. you gravitated towards towards him like a dream and something came over him when his two hands pulled you in for a kiss. eunseok withheld the fact that you only hesitated a moment before kissing him back, and how quickly you took control while kissing him. you were riding his thigh while he pulled you in closer, and you started whining when he put his tongue in your mouth.

but whoever it was—it was eunseok—was long forgotten. because now you guys kissed without having sex, sneaking away to another storage closet or empty classroom to suck on eachother’s faces. eunseok always would pull away from your lips with a smile on his face one that told you he knew how happy you were that he broke the rule.

you’re able to admit that you were the one who broke the rule of no missionary. you still remember which debate it was. it was a day that challenged you as a leader and debater. everything seemed to go wrong—your team arrived late due to a pileup on the freeway, two of your teammates forgot their uniform, and you were going against the same team that beat you the year prior. you hated being frazzled by things you couldn’t control, unlike your debate partner that let the problems bead and fall from his body like rain. the circumstances and stress of the day made you a terrible debater. you stumbled over your words and rebuttals caught on the tip of your tongue. nothing helped when you saw a smirk on your enemy teams lips, knowing that you were lost. for the first since becoming a debater you felt like you were the worst in the room. you found yourself looking to eunseok in between the breaks. each time he gave you a look that urged you to relax you felt more tense. by the end of the debate you were completely leaning on him and were avoiding the looks of your teammates that had come to watch. 

you were shocked when you and eunseok won the debate. afterwards, you learned the two of you won by the skin of your teeth. you found out after the fact that extra points were rewarded due to eunseok’s confident body language and cracks he exposed in the enemy teams arguments. 

you felt like a shell of a leader when you stood beside eunseok to accept your medal. it was all the same to your team, a win was a win no matter how it was awarded. but you felt awful. it was the first time you failed so miserably, and the first time you didn’t take the lead during a debate. you smiled through the photos while you felt a rock forming in your throat. it unsettled you immensely, and it made you hyperaware that you could no longer have days where you didn’t perform like a future finals winner. you immediately took off your medal after the last camera flashed in your face. you disappeared from your celebrating team for the rest of the day, avoiding calls and texts about lunch and dinner. any selfishness you felt for hiding in your room boiled down to anger and shame for your terrible performance. you were stuck on an infinite loop, recalling the way you choked on your words and feeling the hot light from the stage beat down on you. the sweat rolling down your back made you uncomfortable as you failed at defending your argument. you planned on being completely alone to ruminate on your mistakes when eunseok showed up at your door. he was apologetic even though it wasn’t his fault with food in his hand even though he had already eaten.

the argument that followed eunseok coming to your room unannounced was inevitable. you don’t know why you were so angry, or why eunseok kept a cool head the entire time. you had tired yourself out thirty minutes later, the truth came to the surface after eunseok gave you a surprisingly warm hug. your combative nature that was fueled by your lackluster performance as a debater and leader was extinguished when eunseok started rubbing your back. you bit back tears, and anymore arguments melted in your throat while you slumped into eunseok’s arms.

eunseok then comforted you the only way you’d accept it at the time. he touched you gently where you needed it most and wherever you told him. he made sure you didn’t have to lift a finger, taking off your clothes with gentle and steady hands. yours were still shaking from the adrenaline when you laid down on the soft sheets of the hotel bed and kept pulling eunseok’s body up until he was hovering over you.

“can we do it like this tonight?” you asked him quietly. 

you could barely hold back your tears when eunseok nodded and caressed your face. you felt hot tears slide down your cheeks when eunseok kissed your forehead tenderly while he slid in. he was gasping at how you felt around him while you let out sounds of your own. he whispered in your ear about how great of a leader you were until you were a whimpering mess underneath him. eunseok was slow and deliberate the whole time, and held you close as you came. when he looked at you in the eyes and kissed the tracks of your tears you couldn’t stop the raw emotions from taking over your body. you held eunseok even closer while you cried from stress of the season and the conflicting emotions you were feeling for your fuck buddy. 

you two never spoke about that night but something changed again. you found yourself more distracted than ever before. it was dangerous how often you were thinking about eunseok even if he was right beside you. your mind often started thinking about holding his hand in public and kissing him outside of the bedroom. you would think about seeing him after the competition, and how missionary was your position of choice with him now. 

despite your mind being somewhere else all the time, it wasn’t an issue. no one was bothered by your aloofness as long as you were focused for the debates; and you were. you had led your team to the finals, only two people on your team didn’t advance. the achievement was unprecedented for your school and you were hailed as an exceptional leader for securing funding for future seasons. your wins showed the school board how successful the team can be.

the grant that was given to your team was something to celebrate. the school board came to your final debate meeting, congratulating everyone for a successful season. your teammates looked to you when they awarded the team a grant. the money would be used for better hotels, official uniforms, and better transportation. it was one of the biggest grants awarded in the history of your school, and it was a cause for celebration. that’s why you were hosting an all girls slumber party two days before the competition. it was convenient, being able to celebrate and do prep work with the girls on the team and then carpool to the school together to get to the buses. it was one of the few strokes of genius you had as leader as of late.

the girls on your team enjoyed it immensely, being able to chat and go over the highlights of the season. you tried to be as present in the moment as possible, talking and adding on to everything that was said. you were able to give advice to the first years on your team, and metaphorically pass the baton to them, emphasizing the new attention the debate team would have especially if you won the finals. your team nodded at you eagerly, like you were giving them the keys to life. it was hard to understand why your team looked at you with so much respect and admiration. if they knew about your sexcapades of the season—with the person everyone thought you hated nonetheless—you imagined all of their opinions would change. 

you successfully didn’t bring up your arrangement with eunseok, and how all consuming it was. you kept it to yourself, sneaking off once everyone was in bed to think about what to do. you felt creeping anxiety from the looming presence of the most important competition of your life being two days away. your sleep schedule was in such disarray that staying awake through the night was more plausible. you were also afraid of dreaming, scared that your subconscious would make you dream of a medal or a person just out of your reach. you knew you would end up sleeping on the long bus ride to the competition anyway. you convinced yourself it was because of the constant movement of the school bus that rocked you to sleep like a baby and not the presence of your debate partner next to you.

see you tomorrow.

sleep well.

you read the text as you opened up your fridge. eunseok was the one that broke the rule of texting you outside of your hours of operation—during competitions, priority after lights out. you can’t lie and say you weren’t humoring him, texting him back whenever you got the chance. your progression of texting had turned from sparse texts every now and then to full on conversations. you don’t know why some nights you ended up on the phone with eunseok, only talking about debate for a few minutes before going into mundane things. now you were at the point of eunseok telling you goodnight and how excited he was to see you tomorrow.

your eyes stayed locked on the message, rereading the text over and over again until your fridge yelled at you to close it. you still stared at your phone when you went to your dining room with your late night snack. when you looked up from your phone you saw yunjin.

yunjin came into your dining room, wrapped in her night robe. you were annoyed at yourself, not noticing or hearing yunjin come down the stairs. you truly were distracted.

yunjin and you stood underneath the fluorescent kitchen lighting waiting for the other to say something. you shuffled on your feet and yunjin crossed her arms

“okay. tell me.” she said

“i don’t know what you’re talking about.” you said.

yunjin laughed and gave you a dumbfounded look, amazed that you think she’s so stupid. she wordlessly makes her way across the kitchen and sits down with you at the table. you sat at the head, looking down at your hands and yunjin sat next to you, head in her palm while she waited for you to start. 

you took a deep breath, thinking about how you are going to have to write in the margins of your google document later owning up to the fact that you broke another rule. you look at your friend then immediately looking down at your hands again. you clenched your fists and closed your eyes.

“you should get it out before it effects your perfo—”

“i’ve been sleeping with eunseok.” you say quietly.

you swear you can hear yunjin hold her breath. you caught her mind sentence, and you could see the gears turning slowly in your friends mind as she tried to finish her thought and comprehend your words. you look up and see yunjin blink slowly as she processes what you said. she still has the same expression on her face as before.

”what?” yunjin asks.

“i’ve been sleeping with him since the season started.” you repeated.

this time the information sinks in. the same moment a weight lifts off your shoulders you can see it transfer to yunjins. she takes in a deep breath, one that takes in all the fresh air of the dining room. you’re forced to sit in silence and watch yunjin’s eyes go wide. you can see your friend thinking about the logistics of it all, finding the facts and thinking about evidence of fooling around. yunjin lets out the breath. she cracks a smile before looking at your dumbfounded face. it surprises you when she starts to laugh. yunjin’s whole body moves as she laughs, causing her robe to fall down her shoulder.

“i was not expecting that,” yunjin adjusts the sleeve of her robe before raising her eyebrows to emphasis the word that. ”i thought you were gonna say someone was getting cut from the team.” yunjin says.

she starts laughing a little louder, and you also smile at the situation. here you are, two days before the biggest debate of your life and you’re confessing to your teammate that you have been sleeping with someone who you treated like a rival for as long as you’ve known him. yunjin tries her best to wrap her head around you and eunseok, it makes perfect sense but at the same time it doesn’t. 

yunjin shakes her head trying to clear her thoughts.

“is that why you seem so distracted lately?” she asks.

you shrug your shoulders, bringing your eyes to your phone that rests on the edge of the table. eunseok’s text still remains unanswered, sitting in the graveyard of all your unanswered texts.

“i thought it was because of finals?” yunjin says.

“that too. i’m going through alot right now.” you laugh dryly, trying to brighten the situation.

“clearly.” yunjin says.

you let your friend process it even more and sit patiently. you know she’ll begin her cross examination soon.

”are you guys together?” yunjin asks.

you shake your head. 

“are you guys exclusive?” yunjin asks.

you nod your head.

“what are you going to do?” yunjin asks.

that is when you do nothing. it’s a complex question, one that can’t be answered with a nod or shake of your head. it surprisingly can’t be answered with words either, you’re speechless trying to think about what you’re going to do with eunseok when the season ends. you think about how you said to eunseok you’d date him if you won finals. back then, it was a joke and something you said to fill the awkward silence of trying to leave eunseok’s room before you were caught or got to comfortable. at the start of the season it seemed impossible to advance this far ahead. but now it felt like the painful conversation with eunseok was unavoidable. 

looks at her hands resting on the table, twiddling her thumbs before you see an evil smile come across her face. yunjin puts her head on top of her hands and looks at you innocently.

“is it big?” yunjin asks.

she’s facetious and expects you to withhold your answer. yunjin audibly gasps when you look down and smile after nodding your head.

“he knows how to use it too.” you say shyly.

yunjin gasps again and hits your arm playfully. she didn’t know this side of you existed, sneaking around with your debate partner. she asks you about the logistics and you share it all. it’s refreshing, finally being able to be somewhat open about your situation with eunseok. you show her the text messages and photos you ended up taking with eunseok during random moments of your time together. she raises her eyebrows when you insist none of the outings were dates. yunjin secretly hopes that you’ll eventually talk yourself into a hole, and she will be able to nail you with a question that makes you realize your arrangement with eunseok has turned into a relationship. you narrowly escape each of her attempts, pivoting when the conversation starts heading towards that direction.

you also spare yunjin some of the details, not subjecting her to the more intimate aspects of your relationship. you think you’ve said more than enough, and all is understood when you give yunjin the look when yunjin asks a racy question. by the time you’re done, you can see your friend understand your conflict. she brings her hand to rest on top of yours, rubbing the same spot you would mess with when the conversation got too serious.

“you know you’re the smartest person i know, right?” yunjin asked.

you lifted your head to look at yunjin. you shook your head the same way you did each time she told you that. yunjin only smiled before gripping your hand even tighter.

“you’re the smartest person i know. so stop being so stupid.” yunjin said.

when your jaw went slack, yunjin laughed and went back to lean into her chair. you looked at yunjin from your side of the table, feeling like her hand smacked you across the face. yunjin only shrugged, telling you that’s all she had for you.

“just focus on ending the season. everything else will come afterwards.” yunjin said.

you nodded your head and looked down again. suddenly there was a wave of shame again. you felt like curling into yourself, or grip your phone until it cracked. the loose ballast in your ceiling lights buzzed as you and yunjin sat in silence. your phone dinged again, echoing off the walls in the room. you looked to the lit up screen and then to yunjin’s raised eyebrows. 

everything else will come afterwards.

you repeated it like a mantra when you turned your ringer off. yunjin’s face remained neutral, following behind you as you headed back up the stairs. 

yunjin withheld what she truly wanted to say, that she had been covering your trail with eunseok like the good friend she was. each time the nosy freshmen tried to pry yunjin had an excuse locked and loaded for you. yunjin didn’t debate but she was cunning, something your team seemed to forget. so she had noticed the glances and the unnecessary touching and the tension no one else picked up on. yunjin had even caught eunseok walking out of your room. she played dumb, pretending she didn’t see him freeze like an deer caught in the headlights. yunjin instead fiddled with the vending machine for a second too long as eunseok backed into your room, closing the door silently to try and not draw her attention. yunjin will tell you about it one day, a day when you visible look like you can handle it. instead she has to play the role of the nurturing friend, putting a hand on your back as you drag your feet up the stairs.

when yunjin comforts you silently you try not to think about how you broke another rule—don’t tell anybody. it was bolded and in a larger font than everything else. you even had it in all caps on the manifesto, and you underlined to really get the point across. you try to comfort yourself by saying it doesn’t matter, your arrangement with eunseok will be null and void in a few days when the season comes to an end. 

the next morning came slowly. it was due to the fact that you were awake looking at your phone, waiting for the sun to rise so you could wake up your team at a reasonable time. while everyone else snored you used your phone as a distraction to occupy your mind. you kept pulling down your notifications tab, checking to see what eunseok was trying to text you. you refused to clear the notification, keeping it there as some sort of punishment. you had peaked at the notification for the millionth time when your alarm finally went off. 

you wasted no time getting your girls up. you let your obnoxious second alarm clock sound off and watched as more and more of your team were pulled from their blissful sleep. they were groggy, rolling over on eachother looking for the source of the noise. some of them were more stubborn, forcing you to jostle their limp bodies until they came back to the land of the living. 

once everyone was awake you went over the list of toiletries they’d need for the hotel stay and their debate materials needed for the competition. you heard disoriented words of confirmation as everyone loaded their things into your car. everyone was able to cram into two cars that had designated spaces in the staff parking lot. any leftover belongings and your vehicles would be safe and secure for the long weekend. it eased your mind as a leader to give a ride to your teammates, it made you feel less guilty about how irresponsible you were at the competitions. you were able act like the leader you once were by double checking everyones debate material and making sure that everyone arrived to the school on time. by the time your crew arrived to the bus pickup, the whole team was accounted for.

the rest of your team was in a huddle in front of the school. it was the designated meeting place for the early morning competitions. it was easy to leave from the front before the rest of the student body woke up and drove their cars to school. the autumn morning sun looked like it was coming straight from the pavement, blinding everyone as they searched for the bus in the empty parking lot. you blinked and held your free hand to your face, trying to block the sun.

“where’s the bus?” you asked.

the boys of your team turned towards you. they had been busy looking for the missing bus they didn’t see you approach them. your girls trailed behind you, their overnight bags and duffles slung over their shoulders. the weather had just started getting nippy from the approaching cold season, and the bitter looks on your teams faces told you they wanted to be inside of the bus to seek refuge from the weather. 

no one answered your question, even the chaperones that were whispering in their own separate huddle.

your team as a unit were decked in their most comfortable loungewear, sweatpants and sweaters that shielded everyone from the frigid air. some people found extra relief from the wind by throwing on a windbreaker. regardless, everyone acted the same by shuffling on their feet and trying to garner any amount of warmth.

when the whole team was together, the boys instantly merged with your group of girls. everyone greeted and hugged eachother in excitement, happy to get an excuse to miss classes. 

you found yourself feeling apprehensive, searching in the small crowd for a certain face. you looked around with furrowed eyebrows, head moving to try and look through the several mini conversations that was happening around you. you even got on your toes to do a headcount that kept coming up one person short. you looked to the group of chaperones that had separated themselves from the group of students. they were teeming with excitement too, looking towards the back of the school and whispering something along the lines of they have no idea.

you approached the group of parents calmly, adjusting the strap of your duffle bag.

“have you seen eunseok?” you asked your sponsor.

before your sponsor could answer, their faces lit up. at the same time you could hear the exclaim of your teammates, some of them even letting expletives slip out. you turned around immediately, having to adjust your eyes to the sun that shined in your face.

when you held your hand up to your eyes you got a clear view of the spectacle. you saw a mini-coach bus come around the back of the school towards your group. the bus pulled up to the curb, stopping right in front of your team. it was sleek and luxurious, the exact opposite of the dingy school buses you took to previous competitions. everyone was in disbelief until the bus opened its doors.

your team looked towards you, as if it was your doing. you had the same shocked and wide eye expression when you turned towards the chaperones. they had big smiles as they approached the bus.

“us and your co-captian pulled some strings for the final competition of the season.” your sponsor said.

before you could ask how, your team erupted in cheers. you don’t think they reacted this positively to anything the whole season. when it was announced your school would advance to finals, the blood left your teammates faces. they had blank expressions as your school was called out, no one cheered or made a single sound. you could’ve heard a pen drop in the room, the only sound coming from the sparse courteously claps from other schools. but now your team was hollering and jumping around, throwing their large duffles into the undercarriage storage so they could rush onto the bus.

the bus jostled slightly as people filed out. you had to tell your team to slow down to let the people off first and to not crowd the entrance. you were more stern than you should’ve been, their reaction for some reason left a terrible taste in your mouth. you understood the excitement regardless, this was the first time your team had been given such an amenity. the hotels was the bare minimum, and most of the funds for your overnights stays were crowdfunded by your team. this was the first time you had seen something so nice that didn’t come out of the pockets of your teammates.

you were staring at the door of the bus, strap of your backpack clenched in your hand when eunseok finally filed off. it caught you by surprise, seeing him come out in between the extra bus driver and the principal of your school. he waited in the folding doors of the bus for just a second until his eyes found yours. you smiled and lifted the hand that was holding the strap of your bag. it was weird waving hi to him, like you two didn’t know the other would be here. regardless, eunseok did the same and shyly lifted his hand in greeting. he forgot about the people behind him trying to get off and the people in front of him trying to get on. eunseok suddenly snapped his head backwards when the principal pointed forward. he hastily got off the bus, almost missing the space between the curb and the last step of the coach bus. 

eunseok floated through the crowd towards you. you were lucky that the exhilaration of the future competition and the luxurious accommodation occupied your teammates thoughts. they didn’t notice how eunseok approached you nervously, or how he stuck his hands into the pockets of his sweatpants when he realized he had nothing to say to you. you shifted in your slip-on shoes and adjusted the bags hanging off your shoulders. it was going to get painful soon carrying all of this weight.

“did you get my text?” eunseok asked.

he didn’t have a backpack on to grip nervously. he was forced to face the situation head on, looking at you right in the eyes. you think he would’ve ran his hand through his hair if he had the chance, but the strands were tucked into the beanie he wore. eunseok looked more comfortable than you did, sweatpants and a matching sweater with a jacket vest over it. 

you knew that eunseok knew you purposely ignored his text. after talking to yunjin you took her advice to try and ignore all of it, focusing on the competition you had tomorrow. eunseok was your debate partner before he was a distraction, but it was getting hard to distinguish the two. 

you nodded your head to his question, and he didn’t say anything else after. you let your confusion turn into anger about the bus situation. your mind quickly evaluated the situation, filling in the blanks to help you feel like your anger was valid. you had already felt like you were failing as a leader, eunseok had to have known by the way he comforted you. maybe eunseok purposely left you out of the loop because he knew you couldn’t handle being the leader anymore. you let the thought sink into your mind more. the irrational part of your brain overtook the rational side and you felt your fist clench at your side. you let your emotions run rampant for just a moment before trying to reel them in. it was no use, strong emotions bubbled in your chest that pulled you away from looking at eunseok.

the two of you stood side by side, silent as the rest of your team mingled and talked about the naps they were going to take on the way to the competition. you turned ever so often to see if eunseok was still beside you. he reached for the bag on your shoulder and you moved away from his hand. you saw yunjin looking back at you as she got on the bus, and you quickly looked away. eunseok noticed something between your glances and backed off immediately. he went on the bus behind anton, and you were left alone to put your things in the undercarriage. once everything was inside you took a moment, looking at your things resting beside eunseok’s. you took a deep breath and slammed the undercarriage closed before getting on the bus. 

when you got onto the bus, the chaperones filed in behind you. you took attendance call, reading the list of your teammates names. every name rolled off your tongue easily, until eunseok’s got caught in your thought. it was there like water that went down the wrong pipe. it was a second of hesitation covered up by a small cough but it felt like everyone knew something was up. your mind came up with the scenario that in under six hours yunjin told everyone on your team that you and eunseok had an arrangement of sorts. it made your eyes stay stuck on the attendance list and it made you tap your pen against the clipboard anxiously. your mind somehow turned it into another reason to be mad at eunseok. 

you sat next to him with your arms crossed as the principal gave your team the worst pep talk you’ve ever heard. your crossed arms tucked further into your chest as he spouted out nonsense. there was no way this was the same principal that gave speeches to the football team. your team clapped simply because it was over as the principal walked off the bus. the chaperones were confused as well, sitting in their seats as the bus driver pulled off from the curb.

the bus ride to the hotel was surprisingly smooth. this was due to the fact that you guys got an actual bus built for comfort as opposed to the school buses you took to previous competitions in the season. once you hit the open road it was soothing with the working air conditioner and screens that were embedded in the seat in front. you were out like a light once you put on your music. you think you went to sleep extra fast because it gave you a reason to not talk to eunseok. 

you don’t remember what you dreamed of, all you remember is that you woke up to him. just like he always had, eunseok lifted one side of your headphones once the bus came to a complete stop. you jolted awake, sitting upright from your resting position that had your head leaned on his shoulder.

“we’re here.” eunseok said gently.

he must’ve woken up recently too. eunseok spoke to you in the same groggy voice he had when he’d ask you not to leave his room. you don’t say anything to him, only stretch and stand in your seat to look at your team.

they get up slowly the same way you did, stretching in their comfortable seats and taking their headphones off their heads. they seem infinitely more comfortable as opposed to the stiff seats of the bus. no one complains about their back hurting, or how bumpy the ride was. everyone seems refreshed as your sponsor speaks first, coming back to the bus after leaving to the front office. she goes down the aisle handing out keycards with the numbers written on them.

“boys are staying in buildings across from the girls. dinner is waiting for you guys in your room. lights out is immediate.” she finishes handing out the keycards and stands in the front of the bus. “competition is early morning so try not to stay awake for too long. call if you need something.” your sponsor says.

you team is still waking up and grabbing their things from the overhead storage. the other chaperones file off and line up people’s things from the undercarriage storage on the paved parking lot. your sponsor looked to you, offering for you to speak but you politely shook your head. anything you said to your team would go in one ear and out the other—everyone was extremely exhausted. you didn’t have half a mind to speak, and you had an annoying crick in your neck that needed to be underneath the lukewarm water of your shower. you just sat back in your seat as the team filed off back to front. 

you and eunseok were the last ones off the bus. everyone was silent, moving slowly as they absentmindedly grabbed their things. people still yawned and stretched, while others talked about the weird layout of the buildings. the boys and girls buildings face eachother and are only separated by the small parking lot. the buildings could easily be mistaken for two separate hotels if there wasn’t another building at the end. the cool weather was becoming colder as the sun disappeared behind the building at the end of the parking lot.

you focused on the setting sun instead of eunseok who stood behind you like a shadow. he barely gave you any space and followed your every move. when he reached for his bag you prematurely leaped for yours, thinking he was trying to help you. 

the boys headed for their building while the girls went the opposite way. you don’t look back as you head for your room despite feeling eunseok’s eyes follow you as you crossed his path. you follow behind your group, keeping your eyes trained on everything but the world behind you. 

eunseok lingers only for a second before turning to walk to his room too. he turns back once he’s made it to his room to watch you struggle up the stairs. he sees the bottom floor hotel rooms illuminated inside, and the curtains either are drawn closed or are opened by the girls as they settle into their rooms. eunseok sees you find your room, then he sees you walk down the walkway to direct your lost teammates to the correct room. he watches your head go down to read the keycard before nodding your head. he sees you adjust the strap on your backpack, and how the heavy weight causes your body to lean as you get everyone into their rooms. he sees your room light up last only after everyone is safely inside their rooms.

eunseok keeps the number on your door at the forefront of his mind. he remembers the number as he eats his cold food, and when he’s in his cold shower. he remembers your room number as he checks the delivered messages on his phone, and he remembers your room number as he recalls the way you’ve been avoiding him all day. 

eunseok stares at the drawn curtains directly in front of him as he absentmindedly chews the gamy and cold chicken. he sits in near darkness, only thing illuminated the silver platter in front of him is the moonlight that seeps through the curtain and the dim glow from the hotel rooms across the parking lot. progressively more and more lights turn off across the way and the night begins to set in. by the time eunseok is done eating he can barely see the plate in front of him. he leans forward until the tips of his fingers grasp the corner of the curtains. his body nearly falls off the bed as he uses the last of his momentum to flick the curtain open. he sees your room light still on, calling him like a moth to a flame. 

eunseok sees the light in your room and he swears he can see your figure through the curtains as his fall back into place. he sits in the silence and darkness of his room for a moment, listening to the clock tick and the sheets ruffle underneath his body. it’s not long before he gets up to dress himself in all black and heads for his door.

eunseok knew that when your rooms were in separate buildings, it was more risky. more often than not, your rooms would be no further than the end of the corridor. on one occasion, your two rooms ended up being side by side, only separated by a corner in the hallway. eunseok ended up breaking a rule that night when he asked you to stay the night in his room, cuddled with him underneath his sheets. eunseok remembers seeing you write his name in the margins on the manifesto, then after a brief pause you put yours there too. 

following that, it got harder and harder for eunseok to not beg you to spend the night with him. once he discovered how pretty you were in the morning it was hard to live any other way. eunseok still believes he had the best sleep of his life that night with your chin tucked underneath his head as he held you close. eunseok found himself subconsciously keeping track of your breathing, matching his chest raises to your breath that would fan his chest. eunseok wondered if you struggled with not having him beside you at night, or if you sat on the edge of your bed hoping the distance of the two rooms would keep him away.

if he had any pride left, he would’ve avoided you completely due to how you were acting towards him all day. but eunseok is nothing if he’s not a man of his word. you two made a binding contract that eunseok planned to abide by. even if the feeling he got from you on the bus ride was strange, it wouldn’t deter him. this was possibly his second to last chance to ever be with you again—he’d be damned if a little walk across the parking lot kept him away from you. so eunseok put on black head to toe and left his room, carefully opening and closing the door so it wouldn’t make a sound.

you sat on the edge of your bed looking at the door. you had been pacing around since you got here, adjusting the temperature in the room a million times before settling for something that was a little too cold. when your body was finally tired, and your mind was drained from overthinking you let yourself try to relax on the couch. then you got up and moved to the bed—then to the couch again. you found yourself finding comfort based on your relationship to the door. it was a restless feeling that started in your feet and worked all the way up to your teeth that picked at your nails. the only thing that pulled you from your full body jitters was a quiet knock on your door.

your head instantly snapped towards the source of the sound, and your body froze. you still had the tip of your thumb pressed against your teeth when you heard the knock again. you stumbled over your pacing feet to get to the door. you pressed your hands against the wood, and put an unclosed eye to the peephole. 

you saw eunseok standing on the other side of the door. he stood there patiently, the opposite of you. when it was you knocking on eunseok’s door you were constantly looking to the side to see if anyone would come out paired with a million texts to eunseok’s phone. he was so patient it almost made you sick—like he knew you were going to let him in. you thought about leaving him out there in the cold. you could tell him the next day you went to sleep with the lights on, or that you were too busy focusing on the competition. but when eunseok looked at the peephole, it felt like he was looking right at you. your hand reached for the doorknob and before you knew it, eunseok was in your room again.

he stood next to your doorframe, moving out of the way so you could close the door. when it was just you and him, it was alot harder to ignore the elephant in the room. it was right next to eunseok when he sat on the couch and looked at you.

“why have you been avoiding me all day?” he asked.

eunseok’s superpower was confrontation. it used to be yours too, but when it came to eunseok it seemed to be your biggest weakness. when he brought up problems between the two of you with ease, it made your heartbeat too fast and it made your face too hot. you looked past eunseok to look at the thin pasty white curtains that hung behind him.

“i don’t know what you’re talking about.” you say. 

your words are anything but convincing. eunseok scoffs before leaning further into your couch. 

he makes himself at home in your space, moving his arms to rest on the back of the couch. he messes with the lamp on the table beside the couch, forcing you to stand by your bed in silence. the only thing you can hear is the machinery of the lamp click and you’re forced to stand there with your own thoughts. when the setting of your lamp is changed to the dimmest setting, eunseok looks at you again.

“do you want me to leave?” eunseok asks.

you can see him clearly, even if it is almost completely dark the hotel room. eunseok looks a little nervous himself, like he is expecting you to say no. but you haven’t been able to say no to him in a very long time. so you shake your head, still standing in the same spot on the carpeted floor of your room. 

eunseok’s arms fall from the back of the couch and go to his black sweatpants, mindlessly soothing out the ripples of fabric. when his hands reach his knees he brings them back up to rest on his thigh. he looks down at his pants only for a second before looking at you.

“want to come over here?” he asks.

when you nod, eunseok reaches a hand out to you. you try not to approach him too quickly, letting your hand fall into eunseok’s outstretched hand as you walk to stand in front of him.

when you stand in front of eunseok, he sits upright to bring his back away from the couch. he looks up to you, and you can see his eyes shine. even in the dimly lit space of the couch you can see how they scan your face for expressions as he brings his other hand to your body. one messes with the bottom of your shirt while his other hand wraps behind the back of your legs bringing you closer to him. when you’re pulled forward by his arm, you place your hands flat on your shoulder for stability. 

you let eunseok lift up your shirt and kiss the skin of your stomach. he looks up to you before placing each kiss, and you tilt your head back to stare at the popcorn ceiling of the room. you count each bump of the ceiling, and you can feel it coming closer to you the more eunseok sucks and kisses the skin of your stomach. when he presses teeth to your skin your whimper is quiet, and eunseok brings your closer by the back of your legs. he pulls away from your skin to blow cold air on the forming marks. 

he picked up the nasty habit of leaving hickies on your skin in places no one else could see. it was one of the few rules he abided by in the manifesto, and he took full advantage of it. his favorite place was on your hip bones and along the line of your waistband. it had gotten to the point he would just be leaving marks on top of already discolored skin. each time eunseok pulled away, he had a look of pride on his face. it was sick, but it was a perfect metaphor for your relationship. something only you two could see, but so easily exposed if you wanted it to be. you felt something similar to eunseok’s sick pride after eunseok would leave and you had the chance to examine the purple and deep crimson marks.

eunseok started to mess with the waistband of your pajama pants. you pulled your head from the ceiling to look down at him. eunseok was already looking up at you, messing with the waistband again until you got the hint. you nodded your head and helped eunseok pull your pants down your legs. when the loose fabric pooled at your ankles, and you stepped out of them. eunseok looked at your naked bottom half, and used his hand that played with the bottom of your shirt to run a line from your thigh to your heat. when you sighed and leaned further into him, eunseok grabbed a hand full of your ass. he spoke into your hot skin as he left a light bite on your stomach.

“take off your shirt, baby.” he said.

you obeyed immediately, taking your hands from his shoulders to take off your shirt. you took off your bra too, throwing it somewhere behind you. you let your hands go back to eunseok’s shoulder, and he reached a hand up to grab your chest. 

too many times did you end up completely naked for eunseok while he remained fully clothed. there was something people called men like him. it was a name you only let slip out a few times when everything got to be too much.

“are you nervous for tomorrow?” eunseok asked in between kisses.

your hand that grabbed eunseok’s hair the same way he grabbed your chest loosened. when you stopped your movements he did too, looking up at your with confusion.

“the competition?” you asked.

eunseok laughed before nodding and going back to kissing your skin. you continued to rub your hands through his hair, trying to think about what happens tomorrow. whether you win or lose, you had something arguably even more daunting waiting for you after the fact. you were going to have to talk with eunseok about whatever this was, if it was more than love bites or only two people acting on carnal desires. you two were going to have to make a decision to either continue seeing eachother or to let the moments you two shared end with the final competition. you don’t know what scared you more.

“i don’t want to think about that right now.” you said.

eunseok placed one last kiss right underneath your bellybutton, letting his bottom lip graze on your stomach as he looked up at you. you felt his index finger tease your clit before he brought two fingers between your folds. your hand that was on eunseok’s shoulder tightened.

“what do you want to think about?” eunseok teased.

you could feel his fingers prodding at your entrance. he was so close to being inside of you that you debated on grabbing his hand and doing it yourself. but eunseok knew what you wanted, he always has. so all you have to do is whimper and lean your head to the side before he pushes his fingers inside of you. 

“just keep going. please.” you sigh.

eunseok only hums before going back to sucking on the skin of your body and fingering you. it’s slow and deliberate, when he bends his fingers inside of you it causes your body to lean forward into him. your weight slowly pushes his body further and further back until he is leaning against the back of the couch with his face pressed into your stomach. eunseok uses his free hand to guide your legs to straddle his hips until you are on the couch with him. 

you let your body become pliable to eunseok. you let him guide you down to the couch without a second thought, driven purely by the building tension in the pit of your stomach. you wished it had remained like this through the entire season, none of the feelings get involved. but something about the way eunseok touches you feels better than meaningless sex. when eunseok lets his head rest on your chest you pet his head tenderly. the gentle touches and whimpers wouldn’t be possible if you two still only acted on carnal desires. you just wish you could have both without the feelings.

“so wet.” eunseok says.

his head still rests on your breasts as he continues to finger you. he’s off in is own world now, feeling your slick between his fingers. each time eunseok has the chance to lie with you he is distracted by how ready you always are for him. it distracts him so much that he almost doesn’t notice the way you preen your chest further into his face, trying to get him to suck on your sensitive nipples. 

“want me to suck on them?” he asks.

you nod and continue to pet his head. your pace increases as his hand inside of you increases too. he plays off of your pleasure and desperation, how you can barely speak when you get close. each time you have sex with eunseok it feels like years have passed since you’ve been touched. it makes you equal parts sensitive and whiny. you are a mess when eunseok looks up at you from the valley of your breasts with a grin.

eunseok takes your breast into his mouth. he lets his tongue peak out, laving the area that isn’t in his mouth. his mouth is wet and warm, and you can his smooth teeth graze your sensitive nipple. your lean over eunseok’s head from the sensation, holding onto him tightly as you try and hold yourself together. you don’t know why you’re so close so quickly, but you can already feel the telltale signs of your approaching orgasm.

“eunseok.” you quietly cry out.

“hmm?” he hums around your breast.

eunseok knew you were close. it was getting harder and harder to keep your thighs apart, and your hole was sucking in his fingers and clamping around them tightly. he had to keep your spread by a handful of your ass, and his fingers were thrusting into you with such speed it made your chest jump.

“i’m gonna cum.” you whine.

eunseok detaches from your breast. the cold air hitting your wet skin makes your nipples harden even further. your grip on eunseok’s shoulder is tight, and you have stopped petting his head to grab a handful of his hair.

“i got you.” eunseok says.

you let go of his hand to pitifully paw at the waistband of eunseok’s sweats. he pauses fingering you, shocked by how desperately you reach for his sweats. eunseok can feel himself throbbing against the thin fabric when you look at him with blown out eyes.

“take your dick out.” you say.

your voice is not nearly commanding as you wish it was. it’s still breathy and high-pitched as you come down from almost finishing. eunseok grabs a handful of your ass to lift both of you up slightly from the couch. it’s just enough for eunseok to push his sweats down for his dick to spring free. eunseok’s hard dick barely has enough time to slap against his stomach before you bring your body down to grind against it. he has to tuck the bottom of his shirt underneath his chin to get a better view of the way your hips move. he watches you in awe, alternating between where your bodies meet to your serene face. your eyes are hooded, and your bottom lip is pouted as you chase after something more. 

eunseok’s hands go to your hips, forcing you to slow down. you try but fail to overpower him, and your bottom lip juts out more as you whine in eunseok’s hold. he smirks, and places a quick kiss to your pout.

“you want my dick that bad?” eunseok taunts.

“so bad.” you answer.

in any other situation, you would’ve never given in to eunseok’s teasing. but through the time spent with him you realized that relinquishing control to eunseok is the rare occasion in your life where you don’t have to be in charge. with other people it would’ve caused panic and it always led to you taking a dominant role in the bedroom. but eunseok proved to you each time that he was more than capable of taking care of you and your needs. so you answer his taunts and react well to his teasing, because you know eunseok will give you what you want.

when eunseok’s damp hand holds on to your hip while he lines his dick up at your entrance, you shiver. your grip on eunseok’s shoulders loosen and tightens in anticipation. you can feel his hand let go of your hips and dig into the pocket of his pants before putting the foil packet in your hand. you rip open the package with shaky hands as eunseok keeps you suspended above his lap, only to the point where his tip barely pushes into your entrance. when you get the condom out of it’s packaging you drop it into eunseok’s hands. your walls flutter around what you can feel, and you put your head into the crook of eunseok’s neck to whimper quietly.

“please.” you whine.

eunseok hums empathetically while still holding your body in the same place. it isn’t until you sink your fingers into the skin of his shoulders and mutter something that felt foreign on your tongue. you thought it came from your lips abruptly and too rushed for eunseok to decipher. but he understood you perfectly, evident in the way he bit your shoulder before thrusting his hips upwards to you. 

you cried out loud, trying to muffle your voice in the balled up fabric of eunseok’s shirt. his pace doesn’t relent, so different from the way he fingered you at an achingly slow pace. now his hips come upwards earning a slapping sound of sweaty skin making contact with skin. you start letting your hips drop down in tandem with his thrusts, and you can feel eunseok deep inside of you each time you come down. you pant into eunseok’s neck, and he wraps a hand around your back to press your chest into his.

“you’re so tight.” eunseok grunts inbetween thrusts.

“you’re so big,” when eunseok hits that part deep inside of you, your hips falter ”so deep.” you whimper.

eunseok hums again, and his hand that wraps around your back goes to your shoulder to pull you from his neck. eunseok presses your forehead to his, looking deep into your eyes. when you hold eye contact eunseok’s fast pace changes to a slow and deliberate one, repeatedly hitting that spot with deep thrusts. it’s nearly painful, trying to hold back the pleasure that burns across your body. it started in the pit of your stomach and spread like wildfire. the way eunseok doesn’t relent causes you to sweat, even though you stopped attempting to do any work awhile ago. eunseok likes when he brings you to euphoria all on your own, your only job is to look at him with blown out pupils and to kiss him fervently. 

“i love you.” eunseok says.

your hands are on his face, running fingers over his cheekbones when he says it. you could easily say that the declaration slipped past his lips accidentally, or he meant to tack on a compliment about your body at the end like he has done many times before. but eunseok says he loves you and doesn’t stutter, only looking to you waiting for you to say something back. you can’t stop yourself from closing your eyes and dropping your head into his neck again.

“i’m going to cum.” you say back.

eunseok’s hips falter for a moment. he doesn’t pry, or bring your body back to look at him again when he finishes inside of the condom. he only pulls you closer so your chests touch, sticking together from the sweat.

“fuck.” eunseok sighs.

he only has to thrust up into you a few more times again before you have to bite the fabric of his shirt to muffle your moans. you clamp around his dick, and you can feel the fire project from your body to ignite your room. you hold on tight to eunseok, grinding your hips down on him even though your skin already kisses. you hips don’t stop swiveling until your out of breath and you slump against eunseok’s chest trying to catch your breath. he continues to gently rub and pat your back, soothing you back down to earth.

eunseok guides you off his lap to the empty spot on the couch next to him. you sat there, trying to catch your breath while eunseok started touching you again. he started with your legs that were draped over his legs. he started by running light fingers from your thigh to your knees, creeping higher and higher until your body twitched from the sensitivity. after you let out a sigh eunseok moved to your hands. you let him do it, while you tried to think about anything else. while you scanned your room a million times eunseok was busy changing the grip of his hold on your hand and playing with each individual finger. he continued to play with your hands as he cleared his throat to get your attention. you turned. your head that was pressed against the back of the couch turned to face him. he continued to look at your hand when you cleared your throat.

“i’m sorry.” you say quietly.

eunseok doesn’t heed your apology, only shakes his head like he is trying to clear his mind of what happened.

“i was thinking,” eunseok turned to look at you. “when we get back home, i was thinking we could go to that new mini golf place that opened.” he said.

you stopped letting your hand be so pliable. your hand stiffened in his, and your fingers became unbendable.

“the season is going to be over tomorrow.” you said.

eunseok nods. his hands move up to your bicep, running up and down your skin.

“you said if we make it to finals you would consider dating me.” eunseok laughed.

you could tell that he still had a playful attitude as he spoke. when you shook your head though, eunseok’s demeanor changed. his eyes got a little wider, and his hands stopped running up and down your skin. you felt the absence of his touch, and you could feel the air in the room change. it wasn’t warm anymore, and as the loud air conditioner unit kicked back on you felt goosebumps raise across your skin.

“i said that as a joke.” you said.

“well then it was a joke. but now, it feels like it might not be a joke anymore.” eunseok says.

when you sit beside him without saying anything, eunseok’s smile falters slightly.

“you don’t feel the same?” eunseok asks.

“i don’t like you.” you answer.

your attempt to sound lighthearted failed. it came out deadpan, completely void of all emotion. it wiped the smile from eunseok’s face. he detached his hands from your body, and you lifted your legs so he could lean over and pull his sweats back up. 

he got dressed without saying a word, pulling his black hoodie back on as you stared at him. 

”are you really upset with me?” you scoffed.

eunseok not sparing you a second glance made you realize what this was. this would be the second time you have had an actual fight with eunseok. before your arrangement with him it was usually just meaningless bickering, one trying to get on the others nerves. when eunseok would push your buttons back then you thought you were annoyed, but it paled in comparison of what it felt like to actually argue with him. he ignored you always to try and gather his own emotions, but it only made you lash out more to try and get a reaction from him.

“you knew that this was just sex from the beginning.” you said.

eunseok scoffed as he checked his pockets for the keycard to his room.

“you’re not going to speak to me?” you roll your eyes as eunseok continues to get ready to leave in silence. you get up to move behind him as he heads for your door. “you’re overreacting.” you say.

eunseok stops in his tracks and turns around to face you.

“why are you like this?” eunseok shakes his head from confusion before looking to you. “you make everything so complicated.” he says

eunseok putting all the blame on you has you denying your feelings even more. you regress back to the person you were with eunseok in the beginning of the season. you cross your arms in front of your body and tilt your head to the side. you don’t know how to reciprocate the feelings eunseok has for you, or how to comprehend the conflicting emotions you have felt for him for too long. but there’s an innate part of you that knows how to upset eunseok down to his soul. 

“i don’t know what you’re talking about.” you say casually.

every single emotion was firing off in your mind, making your body hot and tense. the question was simple but it made adrenaline rush through your veins. you failed to calm yourself, only becoming more highstrung. no matter if you were angry or sad you always ended up fighting back tears, leaving you confused as to why you were so emotional. you argued with people for fun, why was it suddenly the hardest thing you had to do when it was with eunseok.

when you shrug your shoulders waiting fro a response, eunseok continues to look at you. his eyes search yours before he starts to speak.

“do you just feel nothing?” he asks.

you don’t let your mind contemplate for a second before you give him a knee jerk reaction of a response.

“of course not.” you said simply.

eunseok tried to remain calm with you the same way he did the first time you guys fought. that was different than now, he understood back then why you were bothered. but he didn’t know why you stood in front of him now, with a look of regret on your face as you said things you couldn’t take back. if you just admitted feelings it would be easier, it would feel less painful than everything did right now. but you stubbornly stood your ground, crossing your arms like a child. 

eunseok still felt everything for you when you acted this way towards him, but it didn’t stop it from hurting. seeing you actively deny the feelings you have for eachother caused his heart to sink a little further each time. 

suddenly, it like eunseok was drained of all his energy. his tense shoulders sagged and his clenched fists loosened at his sides. 

eunseok continued to move silently towards your door, and he could feel you still behind him.

“that’s it?” you ask.

the defeated tone in your voice almost makes eunseok turn around. but he is drained mentally, and he can no longer be the only one who lets his feelings be known. he also knows that if he turns around and sees your face, he will have no choice but to fold to you. so he says nothing, and only turns the door of your room quietly. he looks down at the floor by your feet, seeing one of your feet move forward like you are about to come to him.

“i’ll see you tomorrow.” eunseok says quietly.

eunseok closes the door behind him and your air conditioner turns off. now it is truly silent and you are truly alone. you stand there in the spot eunseok left you for hours, trying to think where you went wrong. you fall asleep on the same spot in the couch where you and eunseok laid together.

you completely missed your alarm for the next morning. you hear it going off on your phone in the center of your bed when you were woken up by frantic knocking. it brought you from your sleep immediately, making you shoot up from your uncomfortable position on the couch like a vampire. the pain in your neck followed a second later, and the soreness of your legs came after that. you’re mouth is dry as you look around the room trying to figure out where you are. you still have a headache from crying and you can see the outlines of your teammates as they stand on the other side of your window trying to peer in.

you only had a second to adjust to being awake before another series of knocks came to your door.

“i’ll have to come in if you don’t answer the door.” your sponsor yells on the other side.

you look at the clock near the bed. you are almost late, and you don’t have anything ready. realization hits you like another wave of pain to your neck as you come to. it’s the biggest competition of the season and you aren’t ready at all. your team is waiting for you. you are in this position because of what you did last night.

your hand pulls back the curtain so quickly it shocks your teammates on the other side. they end up leaping backwards, caught off guard by your sudden appearance.

“she’s alive!” you hear someone yell.

you don’t see anyone else after you make eye contact with eunseok. he looks at you only for a moment before casting his look somewhere else. you are stunned to silence, forgetting your voice as you let the curtain cover the window again. you fall over the edge of the couch trying to get to your debate uniform that’s neatly folded on your desk. you get dressed in a minute, and brush your teeth in three. you try to tidy up your hair, giving yourself the chance to fix during the ride to the competition. you trip over your feet as you pull on your socks and your shoes.

you answer the door with bleary eyes and a groggy voice. your team looks at you with wide eyes as you apologize profusely. you fix the uneven buttons on your uniform with all of your things haphazardly tucked underneath your arm. you follow behind our group, trying your best to ignore the worried glances they cast backwards to you. 

you let eunseok take the lead as co-captian for the morning. you used the word “let” loosely. you didn’t get the chance to clear your throat before eunseok was calling out who would be deabting and at what time. you were too embarrassed to take control of the situation. instead you looked at yourself in the camera of your phone while fixing your appearance. while you tried to compose yourself on the bus ride there, you heard eunseok give pointers to anyone who asked. you eavesdropped while eunseok gave the same talking points you gave to him. you tried to seem unbothered each time he looked at you, as if he was waiting for you to interrupt. you only continued to look at your notes, trying not to let the severity of the situation today get to you. you had to compete with everything you had inside of you with someone you were currently fighting with. 

you thought about yunjin’s advice, how she told you to save it until after the competition was over. it was entirely too late now, you were in the middle of dealing with it when your mini-bus turned into the parking lot of where the competition was being held. eunseok looked to you once before taking the lead again, handing out name badges as everyone filed off the bus. you were the last one to go down the seats. you let eunseok put the badge in your hand while you keep your eyes trained on the floor. 

eunseok puts his hands on your shoulders and shakes them gently, the same way he used to do at the beginning of the season. usually you would’ve swatted his hand away, but now you felt yourself yearning for any type of contact with him. so you only looked up, focusing on the way eunseok’s lips moved as he spoke to you.

“we will do well.“ he said simply.

before you could even nod, or open your mouth to thank him his hands were off of your shoulders. he walked past you in the parking lot and you trailed behind him, trying to put the lanyard underneath the collar of your shirt without tripping.

you and eunseok never left eachothers side the entire day, but you continued to punish the other with silence. it was ironic getting the silent treatment from eunseok when you only heard his words bounce through your head all day. they bounced around in your skull on repeat while you sat in the audience to watch eunchae and bahiyyih debate. eunseok and you both nodded at the same time when bahiyyih nailed the opposing team with her refutation and when eunchae projected her voice not just to the lay judges but to the audience as well. you were both beaming with excitement at the future of your team, smiles that were wiped off your faces when you both made eye contact.

eunseok telling you that you would do well was echoing in your mind as your breath caught in your throat outside the room you would be having your debate. you were in the same loop you were always stuck in before going into the room. pacing back and forth, using your fingernail to floss between your incisors. nothing brought you from your trance, not even eunseok looking at you with so much worry as he leaned against the wall. everything only made you feel worse, and you had to clear your mind by breathing in and out deeply. 

when the assistant to the judge came out, you turned to look at eunseok. he pushed himself up from the wall, and ran his steady hands down your arms. he blew warm air on your cold hands and rubbed them together to create warmth.

“don’t worry about anything else,” he put your unclenched hands back at your side. “you came here to debate. so lets do that.” he said reassuringly.

you nodded your head and licked your lips. for the second time that day, eunseok let go of you before you could tell him to keep touching you. he fell back right before going through the door, letting you take the lead. 

when you go through the door, the first thing you see are your opponents. they stand tall, and you know they have every reason to. their school has won the finals for the past three years. respect is such a ridiculous thing to talk about, especially when it’s in regards to kids your age who you have never met before. but you feel respect for the opposing team and how they stand tall. you come to the center of the two tables with the other teams leader while eunseok stands behind his chair. you shake hands with your opponent, reading the badge as you agree to debate fairly.

we will do well

eunseok’s words play again and again in your head when you sit at your seat. it finally causes the blaring sound in your ears to subside and your thoughts are streamlined and pieced well together. 

you barely remember debating—it comes and goes and only reappears in pieces. what you remember is looking back to your team in the crowd as they give you a big thumbs up, and how eunseok nods in his seat with confidence as you spoke. you go back to the tips that eunseok gave you, puffing your chest to convey confidence and almost talking smugly. 

when the debate is over, adrenaline has you on your feet for the rest of the day. you don’t come down until the sun does, and just when you think your nerves have settled the time to announce the winners comes. you are alone for the first time the whole day, eunseok is nowhere to be found. you are left to your own thoughts while you wander the halls of the university like a ghost. you aren’t pulled from your stupor when eunchae pulls your hand towards the auditorium.

you filed into a seat next to bahiyyih at the end of the row you intentionally left the row seat next to you open as you looked around for eunseok. people from the competitions were filing in, the auditorium would be full soon. the end of the competitions when they’d announce the awards were always your favorite because it gave you an excuse to look around for eunseok. you were able to hide your need to sit next to him under the guise of having to be next to your debate partner. you never spoke it out loud, but having eunseok next to you calmed your nerves that came with the anxiety of losing. usually you were fine, your skill in the debate room let you know you’d come out on top. you also admittedly enjoyed being the first person that saw eunseok’s face light up each time you were awarded a medal. he was always the first person you turned to, smiling ear to ear as you both got up from your seat. but now he was nowhere to be found and you felt like this was the time you needed him most. the trophy could go to anyone, the debate was evenly matched, sometimes the scale tipped in your favor and sometimes it tipped to theirs. you wanted nothing more than to have eunseok next to you telling you that you guys won. when he spoke about hypotheticals they always came to fruition. 

eunseok came and sat next to you quietly. it was so quiet you didn’t see him, still looking around the room waiting for him to come through the door. when eunseok shuffled in the seat next to you, you were prepared to tell whoever it was that the seat was for somebody else. 

when you turned to see eunseok you were unnerved by how he continued to look forward. he was unbothered by your presence, nearly ignoring it as you sat next to him. it made you even more anxious, getting the serious silent treatment from someone who was usually so playful. you only moved in your chair before clearing your throat, trying to look busy as you flipped through the program. eunseok was his usual self with everyone as they greeted him. you two had to put on fake cheery smiles, laughing along with people and thanking them when they complimented your debating skills. the moment it was just you two though, eunseok would go back to ignoring your existence. the silence made you go through your phone a million times, checking notifications that stayed the same and the weather app that remained unchanged. 

you were relieved when the lights in the auditorium went low and a spotlight shined on stage while the hosts and judges walked out. they came out in a line, holding trophies and a oversized check with no name written on it. you could hear your team surrounding you make interested noises at the check and the trophies. 

“that’s ours.” someone whispered.

“money money money.” someone else said.

your team held in giggles while the host of the competition started the rules and how the winner was calculated. everyone listened on the edge of their seats, waiting for the winners to be announced. you felt nerves of your own, picking at the frayed fabric of your debate uniform. it only got worse as the announcer started naming off categories. string pulled from the stitching of your skirt twirled in your hand, and the sound of it being plucked from the seam filled the tiny space between you and eunseok’s legs. he looked down for a moment to see where the sound was coming from. you instantly stopped, letting your hand rest on your thigh to soundlessly pick at your black tights.

“i’m sorry.” you said quickly.

eunseok looked back to the stage as they announced the debaters for independent events. he said nothing, but he brought his hand that was on the armrest down into the darkness past the seats. his hand settled there for a moment, completely gone in the void of the seats. you thought nothing of it until he brought his hand back up and gently placed it hand over yours. 

you stopped picking at your inky black tights immediately and turned to look at eunseok. his expression didn’t change, and he still looked ahead at the stage, but he gripped your hand a little tighter to let you know he meant it. you instantly squeezed back, letting your clammy shaking hands find comfort in eunseok’s steady hold. anxiety and bewilderment bubbled in your stomach, reaching all the way up to your chest. you tried looking forward at the stage to be nonchalant like eunseok, but your heart was beating so fast you thought it would explode. 

when each winner is announced, both you and eunseok linger to see who will take their hand away first to applaud. sometimes it’s you and other times it’s him, but each time your hands on instinct go back to holding eachother. 

you have a white knuckle grip on eunseok’s hand when the public forum debaters are called. you close your eyes when you hear your name, preparing to let go of eunseok’s hand when the winner is announced. you both only freeze and continue to hold hands when your name is called.

you didn’t expect to hear your two names come through the stage microphone. it took everyone on your team in surprise. you turned down the aisle mouth agape to see your teammates slack jawed too. you turned to eunseok whose wide eyes still looked ahead.

”are you two out there?” the host said jokingly.

yunjin started cheering first, and giselle leaned over bahiyyih to pinch your arm. when you smacked her hand away she pointed to the stage, motioning for you two to get up. you forgot that you had to go onstage, and you also forgot that you were still holding eunseok’s hand. when je got up first from his seat, and the commotion brought everyone’s eyes to focus on him. he held your hand still, so when he stood everyone on your team clearly saw your two hands clasped together. you heard the whispers again, but the blood rushing into your ears nulled every sound. you both looked down at your hands clasped together. eunseok hesitated for a second before letting go, and you quickly pulled your hand down to rest at your side. 

you felt like your face was on fire you followed him down the aisle of seats, with your head hanging as the rest of the auditorium began applauding as well. it started off scattered, but picked up when your team started cheering loudly. the tension in the room raised and the space between you and eunseok felt like a chasm. he let you ahead of him as you approached the stairs. his hand went to the small of your back like it always did when he was navigating through spaces, and you tried not to read too much into it. you instead focused on the sound of your school shoes on the hollow ground of the stage. you focused on not falling, and taking the gigantic check that was in the judges hand seamlessly.

you and eunseok remained onstage as they announced the rest of the winners. it was incredibly awkward, standing up there with a gigantic check in your hands with someone who was essentially your ex. while your sponsor took photos of you two standing on complete opposite ends of the check other debaters came up to you guys. they had nothing to say but praise for your teamwork and the first time win for your school. you and eunseok only nodded awkwardly, while thanking people profusely. your face was burning and eunseok’s ears had become beet red. by the end of it you were exhausted to the point of tears. when your team left the auditorium you handed off the check to your team, letting them take their own pictures with it.

the overstimulation from the awards ceremony made the resolve crumble, your stoic demeanor regarding eunseok was more obvious than ever. it also didn’t help that your team also saw you two holding hands in your seat. they pieced everything together over the course of dinner, some faster than others. by the time eunseok came to dinner everyone knew. it was silent as eunseok walked into the lobby. they watched as your eyes followed him the whole time, and eunseok not sparing you a glance. as fast as he was in he was out, and you watched him like a hawk the whole time. it angered you the same amount it worried you, and your whole team was intrigued. 

when eunseok left it was whispers and rumors for the rest of the night. you finished your food quickly after, cleaning up your area before heading to your own room. 

as you walk across the paved parking lot you look back to see eunseok’s room. it feels like it’s miles away. the curtains are drawn and the lights are off, unlike the other rooms of your teammates. you’re sure festivities will be happening all night celebrating the wins, but you would be heartbroken that the season was over. 

it was a creeping realization why it broke your heart so much. you loved debate, you always had. but you don’t know why you felt your stomach sink each time you thought about never coming to these competitions again. never seeing your team in this context hurt, the thought of this moment in time never being created again hurt even more. but you would have the chance to see them at school. you only bonded with everyone on your team this season, learning about them through long bus rides and lunch table talk. 

but you had gotten so close to eunseok over the time too, learning things about him that added depth to the character you thought he didn’t have. the thought of never being able to be with him again in private and in public made your steps falter and your breath catch in your throat. you looked at his room again, praying that the light would turn on and he’d open his door to call out to you. but the cold wind continued to nip at your face and freeze your hands tucked into your pockets. you look at eunseok’s door again, then you look to yours. your room for some reason seemed lonelier.

it was ironic that it was you nervously crossing the parking lot of the hotel now. you were clad in black the same way eunseok was, trying to seem as nonchalant as possible while you walked the moonlit path to his room. you wanted to turn around, to try and salvage whatever was left of your pride. you were a highly decorated debater and a leader that took your team to victory. but now here you were, pitifully walking across the parking lot as you came to terms with your feelings.

you must’ve went back and forth in the parking lot a million times, trying to decide what you really wanted to do. each step you took to eunseok’s room you thought about all your possible options. you could never talk to him again, never even look his way at school. it would’ve been easy. the season was over and you really had no reason to see him again. you wish you had the excuse of having a class with eunseok, because then you’d have a reason why you wanted to see him so badly. it was inexplicable why you needed him in your life, and why you only came to this conclusion after realizing the possibility that he wouldn’t be in it at all.

you let your train of thought run wild until you ended up in front of eunseok’s door. you were still, not moving your hand up to knock on the wood. you just stood there, waiting for yourself to gain the courage to knock. the skeptic in the back of your mind also told you it was time to prepare to be rejected. you held your breath as you formed a fist and knocked gently on the door.

you stood out there for what seemed like ages. you thought about how you left eunseok waiting outside your hotel room for even longer than this and felt guilty. with each second your heart dropped more and more, you don’t know why you would subject the man you like to waiting outside. you started losing hope quickly, that eunseok was being cruel to you in the way you deserved. you were being left out to dry the same way you left him—it was poetic truly. so you pitifully turned on your heel and started walking back across the parking lot to cry yourself to sleep.

before you left the shade of the platform above, eunseok opened his door. you turned back around instantly, trying to stop the smile from forming across your face. it was hard to remain happy as you took in eunseok’s serious expression. he only opened the door enough to see half of his face, and the short metal chain as an extra safety measure covered part of his face. the less you saw of him the more panicked you felt. eunseok always gave you everything, but now on the other side of this door you felt like a stranger. you wanted to reach through the crack in the door and touch him. he continued to look at you, the playful glint he usually had in his eyes were gone.

“what do you want?” eunseok asked.

he spoke at a normal volume, different from the usual hushed whispers. you looked down the row of doors in panic. someone could easily hear his voice if he kept that same volume.

“i came to apologize.” you said quietly.

eunseok looks at you for a second longer before closing the door. you continue to stand out in the cold, hearing the chain unhook on the other side of the door. eunseok a second later opens his door, inviting you to the warm yellow glow in his room. 

you smile at him as you walk into his room. you’re still met with eunseok’s expressionless face, and you want to continue walking to lock yourself in his bathroom as he closes the door and locks it. you sit on the edge of eunseok’s bed, putting an indent in the neatly folded sheets. eunseok still stands by his door, arms crossed as he looks at you. the warmth you felt in between the moments of intimacy was gone. eunseok made you feel like an intruder, and you started feeling a rock form in the bottom of your stomach. 

you’re silent for too long—eunseok tilts his head and raises his eyebrows to show you his impatience.

“i’m sorry for how i acted yesterday.” you said.

you rock back on your heels, taking out all the nerves you feel from looking at eunseok in his eyes. he stands with his hands in his pockets, repeating your apology in his head over and over again. after a moment he lets out a sigh and nods his head.

“i forgive you. and i did overreact—you were right.” eunseok rubs the back of his neck as he thinks back to his own actions “i can’t force you to like me. so we should end it here before we head back.”

you shake your head and take a step closer to eunseok.

“you only reacted like that because of what i said to you.” you reasoned.

“i still don’t like how i reacted.” eunseok says.

you nod to accept his apology. it gives you time to try and think of how to say the things you still need to say. your confession sits on the tip of your tongue, but you can’t put it eloqunetly like you imagined it. 

eusneok stands in front of you, with his hands moving in his pockets as you two stand in complete silence. you hear the door next door open, and you instinctively move out of the line of sight in the window. your movement puts you close to the door, so close that you could turn the knob and be outside in a few movements. eunseok looks past you to stare at his door, motioning towards it gently.

“the person next to me is random. he won’t know if you leave.” eunseok says casually.

his tone doesn’t tell you to leave, leaving it open to what you want to do. eunseok walks towards you, until he stands in front of you. you can smell the fresh soap on eunseok and see droplets from eunseok’s wet hair fall on on the carpet. when he’s close enough to take in a deep breath of him, and close your eyes.

“i like you,” you open your eyes to see eunseok already looking down at you. “i like you so much it kind of freaks me out” you say.

your confession floats in the cold silent air of eunseok’s room. it circles around your bodies like a string, pulling you closer and closer together as the words sink in. eunseok brings his hands from his pockets so squeeze both of yours. he works his way up from your hands to your elbows, then to your shoulders. your hands go to eunseok’s waist when his hands hold your face, rubbing his thumb along your features. a gentle hand tilts your chin up before eunseok brings you into a kiss. you close your eyes a second after he closes his, to make sure that this is real.

eunseok’s soft lips touch yours, and you press gently back. the way eunseok can’t stop running his hands over your body makes you think he’s not sure if this is real either. you both kiss back timid and gentle, the sound of pecks and chaste kisses fills the room. when you push back against eunseok’s lips a little rougher he pulls away. 

he runs his pink tongue over his slightly swollen lips before looking at yours. the lamp beside eunseok’s bed casts the shadow of his hands reaching for the bottom of your shift against the wall. you see your bodies move in realtime in your peripheral vision when you reach your arms for the ceiling.

eunseok helps you out of your sweatervest, tossing it behind you somewhere. he slowly undoes each button of your blouse while you start pulling eunseok’s shirt over his head. he has to hurry with the last button to take off his shirt the rest of the way, leaving you both in your bottoms and you in your bra.

he takes a step closer the undo the button of your slacks. the teeth of your zipper makes a quiet noise, but it’s heightened by the absence of sound in the room. you let the material pool at your ankles and eunseok does the same, both of you stepping out of your pants at the same time.

eunseok knows he has seen you naked before. he doesn’t know why it feels like the first time again, or why you look like a fallen angel in his room. your eyes are red from nearly crying as you look up at him, and your bottom lip is swollen from nervous bites. when the yellow glow of the dingy hotel room bounces off your skin, it makes you look too fragile to touch. his hands almost shake as you guide them to your back, letting them rest on the clasp of your bra. you let your hands rest on eunseok’s shoulder as he undoes the clasp on the second try. the elastic snaps forward, and your chest is free from the material. eunseok helps your arms out like you’re made of porcelain. he lets your bra drop onto the ground beside your pants.

eunseok brings you in for a kiss again, turning you around so he can guide you to his bed. when your back legs hit the edge he guides you down gently, leading you all the way until your pretty head rests between the pillows.

you can feel eunseok twitching against his boxers as he presses his dick against your clothed heat. your panties stick to your folds as eunseok continues to grind into you, and you can feel precum seeping through his underwear. eunseok trails kisses from your cheek to the crook of your neck, letting out a depraved groan when you wrap your legs around his waist and lift your hips up.

“remember the first time i fucked you like this?” eunseok asks.

eunseok kisses your forehead before putting a firm hand on your waist, keeping you in place. he leans back on his legs to be upright and a gentle hand pushes the waistband of your panties down. all you have to do is lift your ass off the bed slightly while eunseok guides your legs out of the holes. eunseok leaves a trail of kisses starting at your ankles that ends at the space right next to your lips before he’s hovering over you again. he takes off his underwear with much less care, and you use a cordinated foot to help him get his underwear off all the way.

you nod your head and wrap your legs around eunseok’s waist, not letting him get any further from you. you move your hips to close what little space there is between the two of you, and his hard dick presses against your entrance. it’s like it’s the first time again, the way eunseok looks to you for approval until you nod your head desperately. the space between your lips crackles with electricity as eunseok slowly pushes his dick inside of you. it’s delicate just like his touches, and he takes his time pushing in all the way.

eunseok slowly slided back out. you’re forced to keep your hips in place and take it all as eunseok continues to pepper kisses all over your face. he pushes back into you just as slow making you gasp and pull him close to you.

“i missed you too.” eunseok says.

“i’m sorry,” your words are caught in your throat when eunseok puts a delicate finger to your clit. “i’m so sorry.” you whine.

eunseok continues to kiss you. he stops rubbing your clit to press his finger to the sensitive bud. it makes you squirm undeerneath him, and he kisses your sleepy eyes.

“it’s okay, just don’t break my heart again alright?” eunseok says.

when he presses a little harder to your clit you arch your back, and eunseok wraps a hand behind you to bring you closer. 

“alright.” you whine.

you are the one that kisses him first this time. your hands bring eunseok’s face impossibly close to yours as you push your tongue past his lips. you taste everything, and you can feel eunseok’s warm tongue touch yours. you can barely get enough of him, only halting in your kisses when eunseok changes the motion of his fingers or thrusts into you roughly. your moans are eagerly swallowed by eunseok, and he starts ravaging you the same way you were doing to him.

“feels so good.” you say in between thrusts.

“i know. i know.” eunseok coos. 

he kisses the waterline of your eye, and you dig fingernails into eunseok’s back.

“i’m close.” you whimper.

“me too.” eunseok says back.

his voice starts to waiver on its own. his usual steady tone cracks, and you can hear his moans become more breathy as he increases the speed of his hips. 

you reach between your two bodies to pull his hand away from your clit to hold it. you squeeze his hand, trying to find an outlet for your orgasm so you can prolong feeling of eunseok’s hot puffs of air against your neck and him hitting that spot deep inside of you. eunseok still rests in the crook of your neck, nearly whimpering into your ear when you need to look at him.

“eunseok.” you whine.

he pulls away to look at you in the eyes. you move his bangs away from his eyes as his hips begin to stutter.

“i love you.” you say quietly.

eunseok pecks your lips before pulling away to look you back in your eyes.

“i love you too, baby.” eunseok grins.

he can’t get another word out before your body reacts to him. you pull eunseok close to you by pressing hands to his back and wrapping your legs around his waist. for the first time ever you overpower eunseok, and he lets you completely take charge. your walls seize around eunseok’s dick and you press your ass into the mattress to fuck yourself on eunseok’s dick. eunseok lets you overstimulate him while you reach your own peak. his moans turn into desperate whimpers while you continue to milk him. it isn’t until eunseok is nearly crying out your name that you orgasm yourself. eunseok wedges his hand between the mattress and your body to pull you into a hug, and you moan mixing curses and eunseok’s name while you came undone. 

you two lay in bed together for awhile. it takes you what seems like ages to stop twitching, where eunseok can touch you without you moaning from overstimulation.  you two talk about everything, giving the other a play by play from your individual perspectives. eunseok proudly informs you that he knew about his feelings after the first time you two had sex, and how he was waiting for you to realize your own feelings. you told him a story of your own, how scared you were to admit your feelings for no reason.

before it’s time for your team to depart, eunseok regrettably tells you that you have to go back to your room. he helps you back into your debate uniform, finding your undergarments and clothing items that are strewn across his room. he helps your sore legs through the black tights, and he laughs when the buttons on your blouse are uneven. he lends you his jacket before walking you across the parking lot to your own room. the sun started rising over the parking lot, illuminating your path in light blue and golds. the usual nip of the cold morning was manageable with eunseok’s hand clasped over yours, and you didn’t have to worry about tripping over potholes in the parking lot with his hand resting on your lower back. when you get to your door you kiss eunseok one last time. before closing it all the way, you open it again to give him one last peck on his lips.

“see you in a little bit.” eunseok says with a smile on his face.

“yeah. see you in a little.” you laugh.

when you finally close your door and eunseok finally leaves your stoop, you finish packing up. you change out of your rumpled debate uniform and take a quick shower. by the time you’re done getting ready for the long bus ride back, you get a knock on your door. you leave the person on the other side waiting for only a second before swinging the door open. 

eunseok turns away from the parking to look at you, smiling bright when you smiled right back at him. you let him grab your hand as you leave the awning of your hotel room. 

you two take the walk together back to the mini-bus, acting oblivious to the loud exclamation of your teammates as you admire your trophy.

#01zfan: eunseok #seriez: argue with you #eunseok smut #riize smut

[fictionalsownme]

"Touch" | season 6 ! keigo takami x reader | WIP BLURB

Hiya! So I've noticed recently that I almost never post my writing on here, even though I write all the time. I'm just so easily distracted I almost never finish things, but I thought I'd start sharing what I do have so some of these little bits can see the light of day hehe :) here's a bit a wrote about how hawks' and the reader's dynamic might shift after his burn and after his personality changes a bit!

disclaimer: this blurb is unedited and unfinished. just wanted to share some WIPs! Enjoy!

Recently, Hawks— Keigo— had been touching you even more than normal.

You would say he’s finding excuses for physical contact, but there’s not even reasons most of the time.

It’d been about a week since you started riding around with him, Jeanist, and Endeavor. All Might, Deku, and some other pros were part of the efforts, too.

Being a civilian, you knew you brought them more risk than aide, but you weren’t totally useless. And now Hawks— now Keigo— insisted on you being by his side.

It’s not as if you and him had never touched before. In the year you’d known him and worked for him, the two of you had actually gotten really close. And when his name was revealed to the public, he asked you to start calling him that all the time.

No one else, just you. It was taking some getting used to.

It wasn’t long after that the touching started. The near constant physical contact.

A steady hand at your back seemed to be his favorite. But there were other motions too. Touching your arm, playing absently with the edge of your jacket, nudging his shoe with yours. Even just keeping you within arms length seemed to be a must.

Not that you didn’t like it. You definitely did. Each touch was so warm and protective, it made you lightheaded. And in these times… any comfort was a blessing.

You figured that’s why he’d been doing it. Just basic coping, nothing more. You understood. Before all this mess, before he’d been burned, you had always been the first to offer hugs and reassurances. You’d even held hands once or twice. Platonically, of course. But nothing like this.

It wasn’t just the physical nature of your relationship changing, either.

He had this air about him when you were near. It simmered when he talked to you, when he touched you or looked in your eyes. An almost… protectiveness. Possessive.

It was the same with his name. He hadn’t asked a single other person to call him Keigo, and no one did. Except you. And he was adamant about it.

You were flattered, and happy to do this for him. But you were a bit embarrassed to admit that you’d been struggling to adjust. You kept using his hero name by mistake. At first he’d just corrected you with an unreadable expression, then started to tease you about it, but now he’d resorted to waiting until you got it right to respond at all. Even though he’d hadn’t been as outwardly playful since he’d been burned, you knew he wasn’t actually mad at you or anything. Another change you understood. He was being more authentic to who he was. More reserved and quiet and thinking. Again, an adjustment to be sure, but you were happy.

You didn’t mind this slightly new dynamic. In fact, you were hopelessly in danger of falling even more in love with him than you already were, the poor man.

You swore that if he slid his palm over the expanse of your back one more time, tenderly whispered your name like that, gave you instructions with a warm, grounding touch… you were going to lose it and confess on the spot.

You stumbled when one of the incapacitated villains stuck their foot out to trip you as you walked past. You glared at him. Tied, gagged, beat up, and still trying to cause shit.

You kicked at his foot.

“Come stand over here,” called Hawks’— fuck, Keigo’s— still slightly raspy voice.

You gave the villain one more stink eye, and came to stand next to where Keigo was leaning against the car. His hand went to your back immediately. Warm even through his glove and your sweater.

It truly concerned you how normal that was starting to feel. How disarming.

He gently rubbed your back with his thumb, his palm flat against your spine, waiting silently for Jeanist and Endeavor to come back with instructions for the goons.

The feeling of his hand… strong and grounding like an anchor… your eyes slid closed after only a few moments.

Like you said, lately comfort was desperately needed and hard to come by. You kept your back straight, clutching your bag to your chest, savoring the feeling of your best friend. There to keep you safe.

When your eyes opened, they slid over to him on instinct. He was watching you.

You cheeks flared but you kept his gaze. He wasn’t… anything really. Not happy or upset or surprised. He just looked back at you, his hand still against you.

God you swore… sometimes you were so ridiculously close to just grabbing him by the stupid jacket and kissing him senseless. Just to feel it, to feel him, to see what he would do. To see if it would really ruin your life like you told yourself it would.

This somewhat new side of him was intriguing to say the least. Not afraid of silence, of a blank expression, of showing he was thinking. Before his burn and the collapse of society, his training kept his expression in a claustrophobic range of cock-sure grin to open laughter. The only exception was when he was squaring off against villains, or simply too tired to mask himself properly. The later was still rare, however. He only ever willingly stopped presenting when the two of you were alone, and you were proud to say you’d gotten very good at seeing beneath it all.

But things were different now. He didn’t bother to hide. As his friend, it was a breath of fresh air, and it was nice to see no one else seemed to mind either. He still laughed and smiled and made stupid quips. But he didn’t bother to be someone he wasn't.

But he’d been changing too, inside. Everyone had. Less hero and more man. Maybe that’s why he’d asked you to start using his name.

#kenna writes #wip #blurb #mha #bnha #my hero academia #boku no hero academia #bnha hawks #mha hawks #hawks #keigo takami #mha keigo #bnha keigo #hawks x reader #keigo x reader #keigo takami x reader #hawks x you #hawks x y/n #keigo x you #keigo x y/n

[flower-boi16]

Hazbin Hotel Is A Show That Exists

So...after five years of waiting, Hazbin Hotel is finally out. I had very low expectations going to Hazbin - not only because of the current state of Helluva Boss (Its spin-off show) but also because of all the things I was hearing about it from people who saw the leaks - needless to say, it wasn't very positive. I was expecting this show to be a complete disaster on every single level, though deep down, I did want to be excited for this show - as I did used to briefly be a fan of Viv's work until I realized HB's MANY writing issues, so I went in with low expectations, expecting the show to be awful while deep down hoping that MAYBE It'll MAYBE end up being good. And after watching the first four episodes I can say that...

The show isn't awful nor is it that good. It's just...PAINFULLY average. In this post I'm going to give my current thoughts on HH based on the first four episodes that are currently released. Note that these are only my current thoughts on the show - there's a chance that MAYBE the show will improve in the second half of season 1. But for now, here are my current thoughts on the show:

1. The Animation & Visuals

The animation is...fine. The characters definitely look very rigged at times, but the animation is at least pleasant to look at. An issue I have is the camera work - sometimes the camera work can be VERY off at times. The show would constantly cut to different perspectives in some of the scenes and it becomes a headache to look at. It's especially bad at the beginning of the Happy Day In Hell song - where the camera looks like it's having a stroke during the sequence as it constantly cuts to different perspectives a LOT.

That being said - the camera work is mostly fine throughout the rest of the show so it's not too bad. So overall, the animation looks fine. I don't love it, but I don't hate it.

2. The Comedy

The show's comedy is...actually pretty ok. There were a few jokes that got a good laugh out of me, especially in episode 3, the episode that isn't written by Viv, so it therefore is the funniest episode of the show so far. I am surprised by the lack of sex jokes in the show which is at least a plus. That being said, a lot of the jokes in the show don't really land - mainly the ones that Angel Dust makes. So really, the comedy is OK. I don't hate it, but I also don't love it either.

3. Worldbuilding & Plot

So now let's talk about the main plot of the show as well as its world-building. Ok so the main conflict for the show is that due to someone killing an Angel during the last extermination - the exterminations are going to happen twice as fast now (6 months instead of one year). The mystery of what happened to the angel...lasts for about two episodes before we're given an answer in episode 3, and then it's just resolved like that.

Aside from that the series mostly revolves around its premise so far which is good. Alright, now lets talk about the lore and worldbuilding - basically Lucifer used to be an angel in Hevean but was seen as a trouble maker and Adam demanded that Lilith fuck him (or something Idk Idr) and Lucifer and Lilith fell in love blah blah blah Lucifer gave an apple to his new lover Eve blah blah blah the apple was cursed blah blah blah the apple created hell blah blah blah It sent evil to the world and Hevean was pissed about that so they banished them to hell blah blah blah Lucifer became sad blah blah blah Lilith didn't blah blah blah Hevean started doing exterminations because they were afraid of Hell's power.

(Semi-accurate description of the opening exposition dump). Ok so a few things; 1) I already asked this in another post but why did Hell never choose to fight back against Heaven when Heaven shouldn't have any power over hell because Hell was a realm created by Lucifer? Also, why does Heaven even have any power over Hell to begin with? and 2) So Heaven is eeeevil now and is going to kill all of Hell. Like I already said, it would have been more interesting if Heaven wasn't evil, and it also would've been better than this Hevean v Hell war we're probably going to get in the finale.

They even changed the reasoning to why Heaven started doing the exterminations, instead of it being because of an overpopulation problem now it's because Heaven was afraid of Hell's power...

...which contradicts the pilot which is canon to the series. But then the show just goes back to the overpopulation problem as the reason for the exterminations???? Like??? Which is it, is it because Heaven is evil or because of an overpopulation problem??? PICK ONE!!!

Hell is also kinda boring of a setting, it's just our world except red. That's it. So the lore and worldbuilding is kinda eh, Heaven is just evil cuz ofc it is and the lore has some problems. Its funny to how one of the lyrics of Adam's big villain song is "its all black and white", and since Adam is the bad guy and Charlie's goal is to redeem sinners, the show is trying to go for a "it's NOT black and white" message, but that's kinda ironic considering that this Heaven/Hell conflict is very black and white in it of itself; Hell good Heaven evil. That's it. Not saying black-and-white conflicts with a good guy and a bad guy are bad, most shows can make them work and be interesting, but Heaven would have been more interesting if it wasn't evil, at least IMO.

4. The Voice Actors

A lot of the discourse surrounding Hazbin until its release was the new voice actors. Let me just say I don't dislike the voice actors here; I think they are fine and they fit the characters decently well. Their singing is also decent as well. So I don't dislike any of the voices, they are fine for the most part and fit decently well with the characters.

5. The Songs

The songs so far are...fine. If there was one thing that HB consistently got right, it was the songs. Even if I dislike HB, the songs are actually pretty good (for the most part...). Hazbin's songs are...decent. There aren't any songs that I can say are bad, though I have some issues with the show's music; mainly the fact that the show sometimes shoves in songs...for the sake of having a song.

If you want to make a musical with songs you need to make sure each song has a distinct purpose for the story; take "Part of Your World" from The Little Mermaid. Before this song, it's pretty easy to infer that Ariel has an interest in the surface world - with her collecting human stuff and all. But the song further shows us her desire to see the surface - to see what it's like above water. It shows her desire to see the surface in the form of a song - it has a purpose within the story because it tells you something about the character.

Hazbin Hotel meanwhile sometimes has a problem when it comes to shoving in songs for the sake of meeting the song quota; the two biggest examples are "Hell is Forever" and "Respectless", as well as "Whatever It Takes". These songs are all completely unnecessary and they give us information that could have been communicated through simple dialogue rather than characters bursting out singing.

"Respectless" in particular feels less like a song and more like the characters just...singing a conversation with each other. The song is completely unnecessary and is just there to fill the song quota per episode. None of the songs I've mentioned are necessarily bad, but they suffer from being unneeded (HB also sometimes has this problem in season 2 mainly in episodes 3, 4, and 7).

Aside from that issue - the songs are...fine. None of them are bad but some of them are kinda useless and don't serve much of a purpose. I at least liked Happy Day in Hell and Poison, aside from that most of the songs are...ok. I just don't find most of them that memorable.

6. The Characters

Now, let's talk about the characters. First I'll talk about the main cast then the villains.

Charlie - I think Charlie's...fine. I always like overly positive and happy characters for protagonists so I was going to like Charlie anyway. She's fine; she's easy to root for and she's likable enough.

Vaggie - Vaggie's also fine. I do like her snark in episode 3, but aside from that there isn't much that interesting about her.

Nifty - Nifty's cute. Nifty's funny. I like Nifty.

Angel Dust - sigh Ok so I didn't like Angel Dust in episode 1 because of the fact he was another character whose one character trait is being excessively horny. And I also find all his jokes painfully unfunny. I'm not really in a position to judge how well his abuse from Val was handled so since I held a poll asking SA victim's thoughts on episode 4 and most of them voted no I'll just say that they didn't handle it very well and move on. So ya don't care for Angel Dust.

Alastor - Ah yes the creepy radio demon. He's also fine, I like his whole style and stuff.

Husk - Husk's whole purpose in the first three episodes is pretty much just to be pissed off at stuff, I kinda liked the scene where he talked to Angel Dust in episode 4 but aside from that, Husk is kinda just..fine...like everyone in this main cast.

Now let's talk about the villains so far!

Adam - Don't care for him. Sigh look Adam could be an entertaining villain but so far his dialogue and jokes are just painfully unfunny and I don't care for him as a villain. I could talk about his sidekick whose name I forgot but she's gotten so little screen time I can't form an opinion on her yet.

Also isn't it funny how HH was meant to be a female-focused show yet the males get more focus so far (As I've already talked about)? Ya, I thought so too. Anyways, the characters are...fine. I don't hate any of them, but I also don't really love any of them either. None of them are that interesting so far to me.

That's pretty much what I can say about everything in this show so far; I don't hate the animation but I don't love it either, I don't hate the comedy but I don't love it either, I don't hate the songs but I don't love them either, I don't hate any of the characters but I don't love them either.

7. Conclusion

So, that's my current thoughts on HH based on the first four episodes. Well...it's certainly a show that I watched. It's amazing to me how a show could be so consistently painfully average in pretty much EVERYTHING, from the animation to the songs to the comedy to the characters, to the episodes themselves, Hazbin Hotel is the most painfully average show I've watched so far. It's not bad so far, but it isn't good either. Again, maybe the show will improve when the latter half of season 1 comes out...

...or it will just get worse. I'm expecting the latter unfortunately due to the trailers making it look like there's going to be a Heaven/Hell war which means the show is probably going to abandon its premise like its spin-off (...that came before the main show was released). But ya, Hazbin Hotel is painfully average so far, probably a 6/10 so far, expecting the show to probably get worse, goodbye.

#hazbin hotel critical #hazbin hotel criticism #vivziepop critical #vivziepop criticism

[chimychoo]

STOP WHEN I FINISHED WATCHING III 18 I LITERALLY WALKED UP THE STAIRS SHAKING I C9ULDNT STAND UP MY KNEES GAVE OUT ON ME THATS HOW FUCKED UP THE EPISODE MADE ME WAHT THE HELL WHAT THE HELL WHY DID I GIGGLE WHEN MEPHONE WENT SILENT AND ALL HE COULD DO WAS DO THAT FUCKING, PHONE VIBRATE THIGN HEELEPPPEMEEEEE33

ok but that aside im just gonnw let out some theories or thoughts here cause ummmm why not!!!!!

have this little ramble that turns out to be w rant about lightbulb

mephone wanted to start a season 4 so the show could go on forever, right? what would happen to the season 2 finalists? considering how long its been i can only assume theyve either been invited to stay at hotel oj for the time being or legitimately got left rotting in the forestHELPME. hoenstly im guessing that during episode 19. like yk how wt the end of object show episodes kike after the credits they show a little scene? yeah im guessing one of thoseare gonna be there after the credits and and and its gonna FIRST OF ALL START BU SHOWING THE NIGHT SKY OF THE SEASON 2 GROUNDS OKAY OKAY??? then its gonna like the screen moves down and its the forest, zoom in more and yiu see suitcase and baseball talking, go to the right and its knife like kicking down a tree or whatever, GO EVEN FURTHER AND IT LIGHTBULB SITTING ON A TREESTUMP CHUGGING DR. FIZZ OKAY ITS GON A HAPPEN SHES GONNA HAVE EYEBAGS AND SHES GONNA BE A DEPRESSED LITTLE FUCK ITS CANON IM TELLING YOU. and apparently it was comfirmed that it hurts ligthbulb when she cries like WHAT!!!!!!!!so um shes gonnw cry at some point cause i said so i love angst i need lightbukb angst shes so overlooked like her stereotype is the assumed enthusiast but her story is so much deeper than that guys please im sobbing can you tell how much i miss her I NEED HER ON SCREEN NOW. okay okay look look so um back to the topic im not sure how iii 19 is gonna turn out but maybe mephone is gonnw come back to the season 2 island MAYBE?????

ok i have 3 outcomes for 5his

1. mephone comes back, the cutscene with the final 4 ends with mephones shadow walking in AND ALL THE FINALISTS LOOK UP ST HIM then it hits us with a "TO BE CONTINUED." CAUSEE YEAAH ADAM LOVES TO TORTURE US!!!!

2. mephone gets kidnapped by cobs. thats it

3. mephone never goes back to season 2 so the show gets cancled and the finalists go back to hotel oj and lightbulb sees testy painty and fan and they all kiss right right ZrugtRUGHT

i need lightbrush cintent so bad im so deprived for it i just want them to hug ot something like why do we get Znickloom hugging and not lightbrush ok thats not fair tha5 is NOT fair this is so not fair can they atleast hokd hands or soemthing like hug like maybe even KISS come on adam co e on you jnow you want to /silly

oh yeah and tacos probably gonnw do something stupid as fuck with mepad shes gonna rewire him or something and turn him into like a fucking teleportation device i meann he already is one so uhhhhhhhhhh

um hi!!!

#inanimate insanity #object shows #ii lightbulb #ii paintbrush #lightbrush #ii 2 #ii baseball #ii knife #ii suitcase

[alotogifs]

A League of Their Own Cast Live Tweets 1x08 Pt.2

Abbi: I had a hard time keeping it together in this scene with Kate Berlant. Will: Hahahaha. Kate Berlant for president.

Will: Oh boy the song! We were all very nervous. Kelly has a beautiful voice.

D’arcy:😍😍😍 #Delucathebazooka  😍😍😍 Will: It is heartbreaking to see Jo in a Blue Sox uniform. It felt like something was wrong on set! Abbi: If you notice, some of the music is not from the same period that the show takes place-- this was very intentional! We wanted to use music that felt rebellious like our characters + that meant jumping ahead in time a bit. 

Will: This is the real hurt for Bert and Toni. Abbi: "For some of us, safe isn't safe" Will: "For some of us safe isn't safe." Follow @/butchythings who plays Bert!

Will: GODAMMIT CHERYL Abbi: This scene right here between Chanté Adams and Gbemi Ikumelo THIS SCENE and these two. One of the most dynamic and real and nuanced and deepest friendships on TV. I might be biased, but it's just true. Chanté: This was Gbemi’s last scene of the season. It was hard. While most of us were going back to LA and NY, Gbemi was going back to London and that broke my heart. I tried to get her to move next door so we could see each other everyday and raise our kids together but she couldn’t 😭 Gbemi: Still tryna make it happen 😭😭 Will: This is the scene in the whole show that makes me cry the most, because you can see them realizing they've never said goodbye before. Chanté Adams and Gbemi Ikumelo are geniuses. Will: The score from Zach and Nick and Deantoni here is just amazing.

Abbi: I love Lupe + Roberta Colindrez.

Will: There is a story about how this speech was filmed. HOW DO YOU WANT THIS TO END? Abbi kills it here. Will: Okay. I'll tell you the story! We shot the reaction half of this scene on the field, and then it started raining. So Abbi had to shoot her side of it a week later, on a platform in the middle of the street outside Toni's house. Will: She is yelling at the crew mostly. It was amazing. She's so talented. Will: Rob the bank! Has become our unofficial motto for the process of making the show too.

Will: Okay. Them carrying around here is a real story from a softball team. And it came to the show courtesy of ABBI'S DAD. Who is now in charge of finding the end of every season.   Abbi: My dad gave me the end of the Peaches story here. Still cannot believe it. I called him one night, stuck. He told me this --It is inspired by a real story from women's college softball. Thanks Big Al. Love you. 

Will: Barnstorming is such a huge part of baseball history, and Marquise does such a beautiful job bringing it to life as Red [Barnstorming refers to sports teams that travel to various locations, usually small towns, to stage exhibition matches.] Will: GODDAMMIT CHERYL

Will: WE TECHNICALLY LOST D’arcy: how many times have y’all watched this finale? Abbi: Dale Dickey gets me every damn time. What a masterful actor. D’arcy: WE! HAVE! TO! TAKE! CARE! OF! OUR! OWN! ❤️❤️❤️❤️ oh Dale & Kelly 😍 Will: WE HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF OUR OWN with Beverly kills me. "war bonds" was an improvised callback.

Abbi: Ohh boy. This is prob my favorite scene with my girl D’arcy Carden The Peaches come between them... just like the world.   D’arcy: LOL IM CRYING Will: Abbi and D’arcy just kill me in this scene. They both come from comedy backgrounds and look at what they are doing. We are so lucky. 

Will: Seeing Max in uniform killed me too. Abbi: Max finally in her own uniform! The fucking best. 

Will: Repeating GO GET A THING was an improv from Kelly and Roberta. Abbi: Always... go get a thing.

Will: Abbi wrote "you changed my whole life" "you opened me up again" and it made me cry when I first read it. 

Abbi: Thanks so much for watching with us tonight and in general. What a treat. Will: Thanks for watching with us! Wow. There's a lot of you! Will: This is a show for everyone told through perspectives you don't usually hear universal stories from. Thanks for helping get the word out! Will: WE ARE ALL FRUIT NOW

#aloto #a league of their own #alotoedit #will graham #abbi jacobson #d'arcy carden #chante adams #peaches #s1 #1x08 #cast #bts #live tweeting #twitter #i had fun making these #hopefully it means you can follow the tweeting better #will make them again if the cast watch another episode #what a finale #what a season

[phantomram-b00]

I feel Aziraphale is not talk about as much as people would talk about Crowley (whether it about season 1/2), so as this show will have me on a chokehold for who know how long, I wanna talk about my favorite character, Aziraphale or Mr. Fell if you will. Now warning I will say stuff regarding season 1 or 2 (so spoiler warning ahead)

I not going to pretend, when I first watch the show all the way back in 2019/2020, my first favorite was Crowley, because his personality: he say it what it is, cunning and above all is very complexing to analyze between his deep love for earth by encouraging a eleven year old boy to say “fuck you dad” in order to save humanity to how he still doesn’t consider himself to be a morally good person, he very much fit in the realm of a grey hero or anti-hero if you will. I still very much love Crowley, I do say, David Tennant absolutely kills it for his range of being a sly cynical demon to an immortal who just willing to risk everything for the sake of humanity and for Aziraphale in a drop of a hat. However this isn’t about best boy, this is about the other best boy, the Angel with the heart of gold: Aziraphale. As now in retrospect, Aziraphale became my number one favorite character and he need his spotlight just as much Crowley.

When we first see him, you can see with the mannerism that he isn’t like any of the other archangels. You can see all the archangels are stiff and rigid whether that is their posture or their attitude towards everything and how blasé they are about armageddon. (Or even when they tell Job that they going to have seven more kids after their other three died for the sake of winning a bet against Satan.) with Aziraphale he more expressive, like he literally maybe the only Angel besides Muriel that smiles as much as he does. He still is rigid like them, but I feel that is him trying to blend right in with them and trying to mask himself for not trying to be the odd one out even thought no matter what, he still is shown to be different than the rest of him. The very first scene is when Gabriel comments on how Aziraphale eats despite angels not having the necessary to eat (Season 1 Ep 1) or even the biggest one: the garden of Eden. He gave away his own sword just to make sure Adam and Eve are safe, even Crowley didn’t see that coming as angels would even dare try to do so let alone interfere with whatever God’s planning in their agenda to fuck with humanity. Plus that, you can tell that as Crowley talk how “why is it so bad for mortals to know the difference between good and evil” you can see him question it before responding with “so they don’t get tempted into it”.

Aziraphale was rule-breaking everything since day one (on earth); yet still is trying to convince everyone plus the audience that he’s really is “the good guys” until he’s blue in the face. Buddy, Aziraphale, you’re quite literally the only morally good besides Muriel about everything. Hell him befriending Crowley is probably the biggest risk he toke, and he doesn’t regret a thing about it. Probably saying “But Phantom, why you say that even after what happen with season 2?”, Because my good ole Good omens enjoyer! It because Crowley treats Aziraphale like an person rather than his adversary even thought their hereditary enemies. Something that Aziraphale never even knew he needed until they had the conversation at the garden of Eden. Aziraphale just wanted someone who constantly remind him that he’s different, he already knows that, you can tell by his body language and expression.

Prime example, when they meet again was when the world was going to flood (season 1 episode 3) when Crowley meet with him again, he still is rigid but as Crowley asked about the flood, you can very much tell he’s against it. Especially when kids were mentioned. He absolutely hates this idea, but he can’t say anything about it since he’s an angel and giving the implications might have fear that if he show any disagreement with the Lords plan will ostracized more than he already is by his peers or “worse” he falls. He even tries to hide his feelings by telling Crowley that “oh don’t worry, God will make a rainbow and it’ll all be better” to then say “we can’t judge for it is ineffable” and there’s great hesitation as he say this. His face is readable like an open book but if that book had brightly colored words written on his forehead to tell how exactly he feel and he was just say “oh don’t worry it fine. It fine!”. He want to hold on to the fact that this all have some purpose for the greater good; despite that he looking at everything with rose color glasses. Hell he does this again when it come to Job (Season 2 episode 2) when the archangel said “oh yeah, Crowley have all rights to kill off his goats, house, and his three kids. But! We going to give him new goats, house, and kids. Did we mention seven more kids” which like….I don’t know about y’all, but them being all chill about replacing their three kids very much is telling. Aziraphale is mortified about this, and even try to speak out against but of course, the archangels told him to not worry about it and don’t question it. But Aziraphale just can’t do that, he have a plethora of question and even doubts of all this, he can tell that this is not right, he the type to follow his moral compass and heart, but also nearly cry when he think he going to Hell.

Which, speaking of that last part, the conversation might possible confirmed one or two things. One of them being that this might have been the first time, Aziraphale toke off his mask if you will and two, confirms just how alone he is at his own side. You see him in a way question everything that happen, and when Crowley come immediately jumps to say “I’m ready to go now.” only for Crowley to say “I’m not taking you anywhere because you wouldn’t like it there” and then, we got to see Aziraphale wall break; he think just because he saved kids was him disobeying God and you can see he want to desperately cry but is still holding on to his mask. Crowley then comfort him as to say “well I’m not going tell anyone, nothing going to change” and you can see his expression whilst still perplexed is relieved. He then asked the most heartbreaking question, “what am I” and ask Crowley said, “You’re just an Angel that goes along with heaven as far as he can” any Angel would’ve said “well that’s what the lord want me to do” but instead Aziraphale said “that sound lonely…” can you imagine just how agonizing that line is? The fact that he’s suppose to be “good” yet he following them despite his qualms which also that giving that this might be the first time Aziraphale not only was confront or even toke of his mask for this moment just confirmed the third thing, he’s a tragic character who I am just hoping he get hugs and therapy after all of this. He and Crowley both have their conscience but Aziraphale is pushing them down as it deemed as treasonous behavior. That how Crowley most likely fell, and he just doesn’t want to fall but he knows that he still have to do something. This conversation alone was clever to convey Aziraphale’s inner conflict with himself and Crowley is there being the voice of reason; Aziraphale truly never felt lonely until this and it just shows just how much he needed this conversation; because deep down, he knows that he doesn’t have anyone to talk to about this besides Crowley. Which broke down his wall, and a realization that no matter how much he tries will always be alone.

But I feel what is captivating about him is that, even after everything he still chooses to be ignorant and follow through. Even also showing kindness to the archangel despite the archangels expecting him to fail at everything, hell Gabriel insults Aziraphale tell him to “lost the gut” back in season 1 episode 4. Hell Gabriel literally tell “Aziraphale” (air quotes because it was Crowley during episode 6 for the bodyswap) to “shut your stupid mouth and die already” which while show just how much restraint Crowley got in him to not absolutely punch the shit out of Gabriel also shows just how good of heart he must be to still smile in their face and play nice despite them not caring about him. While sure, if this was Crowley, he would not hesitate to tell them to go kick rocks but with Aziraphale, he rather swallow his pride. He truly the most humble character I’ve ever seen in the history of television; his willpower and patient is what make him almost the bigger person in a way, since while I think he should’ve told them to go kindly kick rocks, he can’t. He rather be the bigger person rather then give them the satisfaction that they got under his skin. Which if that not the best definition of killing them with kindness, then shit I don’t know what it is. This is one of the reason he’s my favorite, he’s still acting like an angel and frankly they don’t deserve him, because if anyone had to be kind to you despite you still acting like a dick just tell you how much of a dick you are.

But then when he’s with Crowley, he can be his own person. He much happier and more comfortable to express himself, I mean look at season 2 episode 4, how happy he got after nearly getting his head blown off from an magic show, you can tell this is truly Aziraphale. Not the one that is rigid or pretending to be; aziraphale the expressive and bubbly angel that just need to express this and Crowley is the person he could do so and you can tell just how much Aziraphale and Crowley loves this. Crowley never judged him for his interest/hyperfixation but instead he in support of it and even indulges with him. Crowley can say how much aziraphale sucks at magic but because it makes Aziraphale happy; he happily accepts this part of him. And I absolutely love this about aziraphale and how free he is with Crowley, Aziraphale can go in depth about what book he read today and Crowley would just smile and listen to his favorite angel enjoying something. Hell, Episode 3 of season 1, Crowley went inside a FUCKING CHURCH to save him and even save his book because Aziraphale was devastated that his books was gone. Aziraphale just want to be his own character, himself, not the image that heaven model for him which you can say is another example of him being a rebel/rule breaker. Plus that I love all the moment where he’s a bitch (as in him being unapologetically sassy), because while yes, he sweet and kind hearted but he can and will through that energy right back at you while still killing you with kindness at the same time. He’s an adorable sassy theatre nerdy person and that is the true aziraphale. Which the fact he was almost willing to give it up (season 1) just to please the lord make him once again tragic as you can tell he doesn’t want to lose his autonomy, the first episode show that as he cringe of the very idea of God’s favorite musical being Sound of Music and Even when his face lit up when Crowley mention Alpha Centauri, he want to run away with Crowley just as much as Crowley want to run away with him but given Archangel and Heaven’s influence and just how much trauma he have, he decline it due to the overwhelming stress that his side put him through.

Now what make me love Aziraphale the most other than his characteristic is his flaws, and now you’re gonna ask “what flaws specifically Phantom?” Oh don’t worry, imma say it right now: his selflessness. Let me explain:

As the definition states, it typically means to care for other’s well-being and needs over your own. Which fits Aziraphale to the T as he is shown to put others, prime example(s): Aziraphale giving away his sword despite God giving it to him (S1 episode 1), helping Anathema get home despite needing to look after the Antichrist (S1 episode 2), Aziraphale giving Crowley the holy water despite that he could get in serious trouble (Season 1 episode 3) and you know there more but those are the highlights, but the biggest one, is Season 2 episodes 1, helping Gabriel (or Jim). Now when I first watch season 2, I was bewildered of the fact that he was willing to help him out even after all the thing Gabriel have either said or done. I know Gabriel had zero memories buttttttttt it’s still intriguing as he still willing to help him, but he also not ignoring the fact that Gabriel used to be awful, he even said it in episode 2 of season 2. Even Crowley was shocked, and give Gabriel the most terrifying speech of all of seasons about how horrible he was to aziraphale. Aziraphale still, being the courteous angel he is still helps him, which while this isn’t the most tragic thing, still shows just how damaged he is. “but phantom? Why damaged?”, because this shows that he will still put everyone needs above himself even if it’ll bite him in the ass. Just like how he trusted Greta in episode 3 thinking she was on his side when really she was working with Glozier and Harmony. And I feel in season 3, it going to bite him in the ass again given how season 2 went down. And now imma make this very clear, being selfless is not a bad thing, it an honorable trait you can have, however there a point where you have to put yourself first, and that something Aziraphale have to learn as sure he changed from season 1 to 2, he still is concern about others than himself.

Now I can talk about so much of season 2 and how it ended, but given a family member is watching it, I will have to restraint from spoiling it any further, but I would have to say, as much as the theory’s (if you know you know) are fascinating to dive into and maybe make things less sad; the theories does diminish aspect of character. As the purpose of the character was to show that even if you try to be free, the trauma is still there, and most of Aziraphale’s action is because of his religious trauma and guilt. He want to make thing better and be free yet he facing his own demons of his own. And it only a matter of time before he loses it, since unlike Michael, Uriel, and even Metatron, he have a conscience, a conscience that is very integral to him and what make his gear going, what make aziraphale well aziraphale. He’s a flawed character, he may be “the good” guy, he still have his flaws. He a tragic angel that just want to be loved for who is us instead of complying with the norm; and I love that about aziraphale and I’m hopping season 3 will give him (and hopefully plus Crowley) the happy ending and healing he needs. Michael sheen does a fantastic job as Aziraphael, and the fact he almost played Crowley truly is astonishing, and frankly while it would be cool to see how he would’ve played Crowley I think he’s the perfect actor for aziraphale and I can’t see anyone else playing this character, he absolutely killing it with David Tennant with their characters.

Now I’ve talk probably long enough, I just love this character so much and I see myself in aziraphale, you can I guess at I kin aziraphale lmao. So I just wanted to find any excuse to hyperfixate on my favorite character and talk about him. He’s my favorite flawed character and I can’t wait to see where his character goes. You have all rights to disagree with what I have to say, or if you agree, that cool I mean hey, both are valid. 😊 here a picture of smiling Aziraphale to maybe help heal you after a bad day or the aftermath of season 2. I love smiles.

#good omens #aziraphale #crowley #good omens season 2 #good omens season 3 #good omens 2 #good omens spoilers #aziraphale good omens #renew good omens #crowley good omens #i love this character so much #michael sheen #Spotify

[omennatural]

Coffee theory & the hate it elicits

I recently saw someone discuss coffee theory and had literally come to the conclusion that it's a disservice to Aziraphale as a character, minimizing his complexity. Their words, a bit shortened, but still.

(If you don't know what coffee theory is, girl where have you been? Take a look here, you're in for a treat. Or Aziraphale was, maybe. )

I, wholeheartedly, disagree with this. We can debate coffee theory's validity as far as whether it happened or not, I certainly will get into that, but when has vulnerability cheapened the complexity of a character? I daresay it adds complexity? And I don't think you can separate the conversation of Aziraphale's complexity in relation to coffee theory without talking about what happened there. On the assumption now that his coffee was miracled, I don't think that was all it was. The Metatron manipulated Aziraphale, the link goes into the different ways in which they bridge the gap between rank, importance, status, to include not just Aziraphale, but Crowley, making Aziraphale more comfortable, more receptive, and the things they said to him.

And if coffee theory is wrong, I have two things to say, one being that Aziraphale was so heavily manipulated, The Metatron pulled his strings in such a way that was clearly very effective and that it worked to where we see him doing the very things he was literally willing to kill a child over in the first season (there's no sugar-coating that, he pulled the trigger on the thundergun and was intending to kill Adam Young to prevent armageddon), and if that's not vulnerability then I don't know what is. And secondly, what the fuck was the point of the coffee for? The show only has six episodes, Neil isn't just putting emphasis on "does anyone ask for death" and the specifics of a coffee, the insistence he drink the coffee, for fucking funsies. There's a reason.

The question is just, was it miracled, or was it a physical sweetener to bridge the gap between himself, an angel so important that what is said to him is said to God, and an angel labeled as a traitor.

I'm describing what happens to Aziraphale as vulnerability because I really think that's what it is. He's vulnerable because he's a victim of Heaven, of the morally gray acts carried out in God's name (Job, I'm lookin at you buddy), he lies to thwart the will of God because he knows what God commanded wasn't right, not in his moral compass. He's vulnerable to manipulation, most people are. I mean look at how Shax coaxed a semi-confirmation of Gabriel's whereabouts out of him in Edinburgh. A strong character, someone who is only strong, who cannot fail or fall short, is flat. One dimensional. But Aziraphale makes mistakes, sways one way and sways back the other way, he learns from (some) of his mistakes. He's so complex, an angel whose been fraternizing with a demon for a millennia because he's the only kindred spirit, because this demon isn't the black to the white, he's also gray, he's flawed and a little bit at heart a good person despite being cast from Heaven and deemed unforgivable in God's eyes. He's selfish, charitable, pissy but kind, he's withdrawn yet completely open, he's gluttonous, he covets, he judges and lies and he tempts humans when Crowley can't be bothered to do it himself. Aziraphale is the absolute most hypocritical character this show has simply because he's what we get most of, the most of his supposed virtues and his real sins. And I love him so dearly much. So yeah, being vulnerable to just base manipulation from The Metatron wouldn't be surprising, he gave Aziraphale a lot of big headlines in his new job title, made the gig sound too sweet to pass up, hoping he couldn't see the fine print. And he knew Crowley would, he knew no matter what that Crowley would refuse. He knew what would happen and he wanted to separate them, because if Aziraphale separates from Crowley, he's that much easier to sink the claws of Heaven into.

But, why not physically, too? On the basis of coffee theory being true, why can't Aziraphale being literally vulnerable to a miracle of Heaven? We see miracles being performed on angels a few times. For the love of God, Aziraphale and Crowley literally put up a no-Gabe blocker that clearly worked on every single occult and ethereal being it came across. Crowley getting up on the chair to touch the border seemed to signify it was a physical thing localized to the bookshop premises (outside included, for the Gabe giving himself up to Shax point), that Gabe needed to be in there. I wonder if he left, would it have still worked? Or if not localized to the bookshop, is the forcefield on him?That seems like a good inbox question for Neil. But the point is, the miracle, though a large one popping off at 25 Lazarii (forgive me if that's off, I'm referencing my brain and am not going back to check), but it worked on everyone. Is it because it was so powerful? As The Metatron, I would his miracles could be that powerful, to affect Aziraphale in a sort of drugged, made compliant and receptive manner to ideas/The Metatron's will. Which, that, is a whole other post.

But no, being vulnerable physically or emotionally isn't a disservice to a character, it adds to their complexity. Because yes, Aziraphale could make the bad decision to go to Heaven on his own, no miracle influence needed, realize how wrong it was and fix it, but he made the choice to drink the coffee anyway without any help. In a way without the miracle, he fucked up. He shouldn't have taken the coffee, he shouldn't have assumed it was harmless. Heaven has done enough up to this point, he said he'd made his position very clear, but immediately took a step toward a line of relatability by taking the damn coffee. That in itself was The Metatron manipulating Aziraphale, the beginnings of "oh, I've ingested things too, it's alright, it's not as bad as you think it is" and he fell for it. He began giving Aziraphale the thing he's wanted for thousands of years–that the way he is isn't bad, it's not worthy of falling, that he's right, not to belong on the side of Hell because Aziraphale still believes in goodness and love and everything Heaven is supposed to be, and what Aziraphale wants is to not be worth falling, while still making morally correct choices to help and bless humanity. He wants to be right for himself, but the only person he sees himself in is Crowley and that scares him, scared the hell out of him after Job, didn't it?

He doesn't have to make the mistake of Heaven on his own to be complex, he's hitting his low, all good characters have them–a point where they're making all the bad choices. And wouldn't it be something for his character arc to have to be strong to fight whatever that could be becausse he's not got Crowley by his side. He hit a low with Job, but what's lower than being so foolish as to accept Metatron's offer simply because Heaven, the archangels, The Metatron, they can't be trusted and Aziraphale thinks that The Metatron, the angel whose existence seems to be intertwined with God, would surely know God's will and him behind the wheel would be a big chance for change, and we all know Heaven dearly needs it. This is a new low, a low without friends surrounded by falsities and being manipulated. He's gotten himself into a bad situation, or he's been scooted along into it. Either way, he's gonna have to grow and dig his way out of it.

Do I believe in coffee theory? I like to think so yes, but also no.

I think the cup matters too much to be ignored, the sound, it being in the title sequence.

But I also think what if it was just a manipulation tactic.

But it almost seems as though Aziraphale almost says no before he leaves the bookshop, like he's taking his decision to go back.

But then I remember how Michael almost seemed to recognize Gabriel under the cloaking miracle and how everyone got a heavy dose of Jane Austen at the ball, but Nina seemed to wonder what the fuck was happening more than anyone else, like some powerful/strong wills can resist miracles more than other.

And I think of how easily he tried to leave the bookshop behind before Crowley kissed him and left and he had to face actually leaving, the same guy who was going to shoot a brick at a child and kill them so he could continue eating sushi and pretending he wasn't in love with a demon in a shop with painted walls the same color as those demon's eyes.

I may need more time on whether or not I believe in it or not, but I certainly don't agree with the opinion that it's a disservice to Aziraphale, to take away his choice.

Heaven doesn't give you choices.

Not when you're acting on the will of God.

#good omens #good omens 2 #good omens spoilers #good omens 2 spoilers #aziraphale #crowley #aziracrow #ineffible husbands #aziraphale x crowley #gabriel good omens #go2

[turtlemagnum]

some facts about me and restaurants:

i always order my drinks without ice because drink almost always comes out cold anyways and now i get more drink per drink and i dont have to worry about my drink getting watered down because of the ice melting

because of this, i couldn't tell you how many times the server brought me with ice anyways and i had to be like "hey, this has ice. dont-wait no, dont take it back, just dont put ice in the refill ok"

i really dont like wasting food, hence why i'm very adamant about them not just dumping the first drink. the rare times i don't finish something and dont bring it home are like when the burger at that chain steakhouse made me puke. pretty much anything less than "literally made me puke" at least gets brought home so at worst, i can remake it to be more edible

back to drinks: i generally dont use straws. a while back i realized that as far as actual restaurant cups go, straws dont really do anything other than add another thing to throw out and just generally slowing down my sippage. from what i understand this is different for physically disabled people, but given how (as far as i'm aware) i'm not physically disabled, i can just lift the cup just fine. this does not apply to things like fast food cups, like you ever break a straw when using one of those? i swear they're designed to be as inconvenient to drink out of without a straw as possible, the mcdonalds one the last time i tried had this little lip on the brim that felt like it was specifically designed to spill shit when drunk like a normal cup

if it's a place i've been to enough times to know what the menu is right off the top of my head, i usually know exactly what i want before i even sit down. the local bar i'm a regular at, the owner lady who takes my orders when shes there; she knows my order by heart at this point. honestly got a little uncomfortable with how much shit she gave me when i got something else that one time, even if it was joking (i'm pretty sure, anyways)

probably my most controversial opinion: i like my meat well done. crispy, even. the other day i got food with my grandparents and the sausage they gave me tasted about as close to uncooked as you could get while still technically being fully cooked, was wretched. when it comes to burgers and steak, i can definitely tolerate medium or rare stuff, dont get me wrong. i feel like what's probably the Objectively Correct stance to have is that some meats are better suited to some styles of preperation, and that's fine. but honestly when it's done poorly, rare/medium beef tastes like a wet goddamn sock. wretched

so, something about me: despite being whiter than a fair amount of white supremacists, i can handle my spice pretty well. to put this into perspective, my mom's last boyfriend was black (and therefore more used to actually seasoned food), and we got chicken from a local place and i heard him from the other room go "hoo! that's hot!" in a fairly exasperated tone, and while i definitely think the place actually knew how to season their goddamn food it wasn't like, loudly exclaim how spicy it was levels of spice, y'know? at least to me. anyways, this sucks for me because i live in the midwest, where an arguable majority of places don't season for shit, probably because a significant amount of their customer base are like my grandma who eats tacos without seasoning. not fuckin making that up. like it was just cooked ground beef with like, maybe a miniscule amount of salt, put into these nasty ass tortilla bowl things with a texture and taste not too dissimilar to plastic. i remember this one time i asked a place what kinda seasoning they used in their fish, and they just straight up said "none". god i hated that restaurant, it was like if you turned all of the worst qualities of suburbanite wasps into a physical space

my default food i get at most places is definitely a burger. it's at least partially because it's generally hard to fuck up to the point of inedibility, but also because most places around here don't make any fried chicken at all other than tenders and That's Like My Main Thing, Bro. sometimes i get pizza, which is somehow more common than fried chicken but also i fucking hate noodles for the most part so it's pretty much the only edible thing for me to get at italian restaurants. the exception to not liking noodles is in wonton soup, but ever since the chinese place we always went to closed down we haven't been able to find a place that's nearly as good.

finally, back to drinks. my specific drink of choice tends to change over the years but stay pretty consistent over any given period of time. i've been a mtn dew typea gamer for the past few years but i've been liking cherry coke more and more, which was my favorite circa 2016 or so. i definitely feel like i'm being a bit more mixed about it, though. recently i've been drinking a fair bit of water simply due to the fact that the only other shit in the house is this diet root beer that my grandpa always gets because it's on sale and he insists on buying diet shit. and like, it's objectively good tasting, it's still fucking root beer which i've never tasted actually bad root beer. it's just that he buys so much of it for extended periods of time that i'm so sick of it that i'm probably not gonna be able to drink root beer in any significanf quantities for at least a few years. but yeah i definitely feel like i can get behind any kind of pop. my fallback is standard coke because that's something literally everywhere has, and while there's definitely a tangible difference in taste between coke and pepsi i wouldn't say one's better or worse than another. my preference lays in RC cola anyways, which i've literally never seen served in any restaurant but god dammit it's so fucking good, dude

[ajgrey9647]

"Can I fall asleep on your shoulder?" + World of the Coinless; Sentry Adam~

Connecting Touches

In some ways, Adam was glad his family wasn’t here to see how gray and solemn this world had become. More importantly, they weren’t exposed to the life he’d been forced into, a life of cruelty and violence, one without mercy or compassion or even the vestiges of happiness.

Only one person’s joy mattered in this new reality and you’d be wise to keep that forefront in your mind.

Skull often commented about how even nature itself seemed to change suit with the ascension of its new ruler. The more experienced Sentry was a firm believer that Lord Drakkon’s reign altered something that was fundamental and normally fixed in the universe.

“You ever notice how all the color seems to have fled from the world, rookie?” Eugene had asked the newcomer once when the pair were weapons training.

Pausing in their mock combat, the dark-haired man pointed up at the sky, a dark ominous color and covered with thick, heavy clouds. The wind carried the scent of rain and a rumble of thunder growled somewhere off over the horizon.

Adam had frowned, forehead wrinkled.

No, he hadn’t paid much mind to anything else beyond keeping his head down and following orders.

“Huh…” he responded, also gazing into the approaching storm.

From he’d gathered about the Red Sentry, the younger man was sure he had ideas as to why this was so.

“Yeah,” Eugene continued. “I know its not the most important thing in our lives, it shouldn’t matter. But I feel like we are foolish not to be concerned.”

He chuckled.

“Though, honestly, I’m not sure there’s fuck-all we could do about it anyway.”

Nestling his weapon back in the rack, Skull favored Adam with a thoughtful look.

“Tell me I’m not the only one who’s noticed this? Everyone else thinks I’m crazy.”

The Black Sentry also relinquished his training staff as he considered the observation. Now that he actually thought about it, Adam realized that most of the vegetation, at least around the palace, were an odd growing shade of brown, though the farmers were still able to raise crops and livestock. Besides the bright reds and yellows of two Sentry regiments, it had been a long time since he’d seen any bright, cheerful colors.

“You’re not crazy,” the Black Sentry murmured. “They either don’t notice or don’t care. Maybe both.”

Skull shook his head, a mirthful grin curling his lips.

“I didn’t think so.”

Walking from the training grounds situated on the far side of the courtyard, the pair could feel the static in the air, a building electrical current of threatened lightning.

“I miss how things used to be,” Adam commented. “I remember rainy days, before…all ‘this’… when I’d curl up with a good book and a mug of tea, thinking how nice it was to be inside where it was warm and cozy. Now, we’re back to candlelight, wood burning cooking appliances, and looms.”

Skull stopped, placing a hand on the younger man’s shoulder.

“That’s another thing, rook. How long ago would you say all that was? What year do you think we’re in now? ‘Cause for a while even I thought I was nuts.”

He looked around for any eavesdroppers. If you dared to question things, it was best not to be too loud about it.

“This whole… world… or whatever the hell you want to call it, feels ‘off’. Like sometimes I’d swear I had seen or done something just yesterday, or maybe even a long time ago, and I’m off base. At first, I chalked it up to no real markers of time, calendars and all that shit. But man, the seasons are messed up too. I’m pretty sure of it.”

This was another thing that Adam had not been cognizant of. How long had it been since he’d seen his parents, his teachers, his friends? What about his wife and child? Why do those two distinct time periods seem ‘mis-mashed’, like a knotted ball of yarn?

“What do you think it all means, Skull? You’ve clearly given this some thought.”

Again, the Red Sentry gave a quick scan of the area.

“My love, Billy, was a genius. Literally. Super smart could invent the coolest gadgets and fix basically everything. He’d have this all figured out like that,” he sighed, snapping his fingers, voice tinged with grief.

“He…died. A long time ago now. I’m no where near that intelligent so I’m not sure what he saw in me. But from everything I’ve observed over that last twenty so-called ‘years’ is that our world, our reality, our time is jacked the fuck up and it has something to do with ol’ Fuck Face and his nutty powers,” Skull continued.

“I mean besides what I’ve already pointed out, our lifestyle and ways of getting on in the world went ass-fucking-backward like it’s the early 1800’s or some shit. But then peppered in the mix like ground glass, we’ve got spaceships, teleporters, energy blasters… well, that fucking dick does. We’ve practically got covered wagons and horse drawn plows. And NO ONE bats a goddamn eye!”

Eugene was starting to get worked up, outraged that everyone had decided to be complacent and ‘forget’ how their world used to be. He struggled to lower his tone, lest his voice carry and Drakkon find out his observations.

Adam stared silently into the swollen, angry clouds. Nature, the planet, time… all were displeased. Or sick. Or as cuckoo as Lord Drakkon.

What could possibly go wrong with that?

“I think its partly from the Grid’s influence, not just poor Mother Earth losing her marbles,” Skull admitted.

He’d NEVER told another soul about the Grid besides Bulk. Definitely not anyone in this backstabbing clusterfuck of a hellhole. But he sensed he could trust this soft spoken, gentle looking man. Seeing Adam’s confusion, Skull delved into what he recalled the Blue Ranger telling him of this mysterious ‘Grid’ where the Rangers drew their powers, the colors and their possibly associated attributes, and the various creatures that attached themselves with each.

“I may not have the smarts that Billy did, but I don’t think it’s a stretch to believe that a demonically evil Green Dragon mashed up with the light of goodness White Tiger is the most stable thing to ever exist. And they’re probably both pretty pissed about pressed up against each other. Perhaps they’re rebelling?”

The Red Sentry shrugged.

“That’s my two cents for what it’s worth.”

Adam sighed and his shoulders slumped.

“Sounds like it doesn’t bode well for any of us, Skull.  Not that I believe in happy endings anymore.”

They walked on quietly for a moment, headed towards the shelter of the barracks. A scattering of icy raindrops sprinkled upon their bare heads, winding a chilly path to their scalps before gliding down the backs of their necks.

The sky growled again with thunderous warning, a blinding arc of lightning crackling through the clouds.

“We’d better get a move on, newbie, or we’re going to be a couple drowned rats before we even reach the door,” Eugene called over a sudden gust of wind.

Skull’s words echoed in Adam’s mind, about nature and time and a primal clash within a ‘Grid’…

The weather right now seemed like an accurate barometer of what must be going on under the surface of things. It made him shiver more so than the chilly rain, an unseen, unpredictable, unstable presence…

Just as they reached the threshold of the Red Sentry’s dwelling, the clouds verily split and a torrent of water gushed from the sky. Adam was reminded of hysterical tears and open, bleeding wounds as he stared out the window while Skull nimbly flitted through his cupboards, pulling together a small meal of soup and crusty bread.

He whistled while he cooked, lifting an amused brow in self-deprecating humor.

“Not exactly like a five-star restaurant or the meal of champions, but we won’t have empty bellies to keep us up. At least we can mark that off the list of sleep-killers. I’ve got enough on mine already and I’m sure you’ve got your own.”

Skull noticed the tense set of the Black Sentry’s back as he continued to gaze out at the powerful deluge, the wind picking up dramatically, and accompanied by a clap of thunder so deep it rattled the delicate pane of glass.

“I don’t think I’ve managed a full night’s sleep since my wife and child…” he stopped his quiet confession, always unable to say aloud the words that hung suspended from the tip of his tongue.

“When I close my eyes, no matter how exhausted I am, I still see their faces, their terrified tears…hear their begging, my begging and crying that I’ll do whatever he says as long as…”

Skull paused in settling the chipped bowls on the makeshift table, his thoughts turning to Billy’s face just before he’d made the ultimate sacrifice to save Trini. While he’d understood the Blue Ranger’s actions and been proud of his bravery, in his heart he felt the raw anguish of loss. The time they’d had together, while beautiful and special, just wasn’t enough and it certainly was NOT FAIR!

“There’s no winning with that motherfucker,” he responded, his voice rough and throat burning painfully with holding back his own grief. “I can’t believe that no one and nothing has ever gotten one over on that smug, arrogant sack of elephant shit! I don’t see how it’s even a possibility!”

He walked to where his companion stood and stared out into the pouring rain. It was coming down so hard that even if it were earlier in the day, they would have been unable to see anything with clarity.

“I want to believe,” Adam whispered brokenly, “that one day that will change and he’ll get knocked on his pompous ass, be made to feel the terror, grief, and pain that we all feel, to lose EVERYTHING he…”

The Black Sentry laughed.

“I was going to say ‘everything he loves’, but he only loves himself…”

Skull remembered the power coins and how Billy had explained their abilities in tapping into the Grid and what they meant to the Ranger who possessed them, not just in terms of power, weapons, or any of that stuff… But what the coins meant to their heart…

“There’s something else he loves, I’m pretty certain. His coins. They are what give him his power, which he enjoys as well. Without those coins, Drakkon is nothing but a mortal man. A batshit crazy, psychopathic homicidal asshat… but you can kill those. And he knows that.”

Adam growled, a usual noise coming from such a meek, reserved, mild mannered individual.

“No powers mean he’s nothing special and I think that’s something else he’s aware of. He would just be a garden variety asshole and those are a dime a dozen in a world overrun with people who aspire to his fuckery. What a lovely punishment that would be! One of many of course.”

“Preach,” Skull muttered, his hand going back to the Sentry’s shoulder. “But considering we have a snowball’s chance in hell of ever getting close to those fucking coins, I say we get some food in us and get a little rest while we can. You never know what’s shits going to get unleashed and when around here.”

The muscles under his grip softened and Adam allowed Eugene to guide him to the table where their food waited. The broth was on the watery side, but it did contain a rather generous helping of vegetable scraps along with a smattering of shredded chicken.

“Don’t worry… I’ve got connections. That chicken’s fresh from this morning when they were prepping the dinner ingredients. My man on the inside passed this off to me while the others were finishing drills.”

Adam wasn’t sure he’d care if it wasn’t fresh. What’s the worst that could happen? Food poisoning?

Ehhh… if it killed him, it killed him. He’d be reunited with his beloved family and be free from this wretched urine-soaked hellhole. He had never been able to bring himself to take the actions needed to end his life, but the Black Sentry wasn’t cautious, becoming at times reckless, which ran contrary to his normal temperament. His fellow comrades in the regiment couldn’t claim to understand it, but Adam’s business was Adam’s business.

And around here, you were wise to mind your own…

As they ate, the rest of the light faded into oblivion, prompting Skull to light some lanterns, the rain pummeling the roof in concert with the cavernous thunder and streaks of lightning.

Consuming such a filling meal compared to what he usually ate at any given time, Adam felt the weight of his eyelids grow exponentially. He was bone tired, physically and mentally, though he was hesitant to close his eyes, knowing what he’d see on the other side. His head dipped slightly to his chest, first in fits and starts, then progressing down… down…

“Hey,” Skull’s voice murmured near his ear. “You’re about to take a header into my fine china.”

He pointed at the threadbare mattress on a rickety wooden frame and draped with a faded orange and blue checked blanket. It was one of his most cherished possessions.

“I don’t think this is letting up any time soon so why don’t you catch some winks while you wait. Not much else to do around here. No cards or books or games, board or console, to amuse us. My buddy and I used to be quite skilled at figuring out the newest video games without even knowing the instructions. And Billy…”

He smiled sadly.

“Billy would read to me from a book while I laid with my head in his lap,” he breathed. “I didn’t care what type of book it was. It might be a textbook, an autobiography, a novel, a comic… Just cuddling up against him, listening to his voice and feeling the warmth of his body.”

He gathered the dirty bowls as Adam pushed back from the table, grateful to have someone who was willing to share their own tale of sorry. Most around here would clam up tighter than a sausage casing and deny or deflect or repel with heated anger.

“I used to lay in bed with him and the feel of his skin against mine, his chest rising and falling… I always felt safe and loved. Like we were the only two people in the whole wide world…. Like we never had to get up and face the day. We didn’t get as much time together as I hoped we would, but we always made sure to live in the moment and make the days count,” he whispered, staring absently into the empty, mismatched vessels.

“I’m so glad we did.”

Working his boots off without bothering to undo the laces, the Black Sentry settled into Eugene’s offered bed. He pulled the soft material around himself to his chin.

“Billy sounds like was a great guy,” he sighed. “I appreciate you trusting me enough to tell me about him. I’ve heard the others guessing about each other’s private lives, but no one seems to know anything when it comes to you.”

Skull chuckled.

“Billy was an AMAZING guy. You don’t know the half of it. That’s a big part of why I don’t bring him up. And it’s a piece of my life that I’ll always treasure so I don’t want to share him with most of these hateful creatures. They wouldn’t get it. They’re too much like Dictator Dickhead.”

Adam yawned, his eyes struggling to remain open, still fearful about the terrors and memories that awaited.

A visceral need came to him, one that he felt embarrassed to verbalize aloud. Yet, Skull had never once passed judgement. In point of fact, he’d taken the newest recruit under his wing where the others had been nothing but vile assholes, some attempting to ‘haze’ the rookie and some seeking ‘favors’ for their time and attention.

Not Eugene.

“This might sound silly. Or gross. But I don’t mean this like another Sentry might…” he started.

Skull waited patiently, already knowing this man was nothing like his regiment.

“Can I fall asleep on your shoulder?”

He twisted the hem of the blanket in anxious fingers, his cheeks flushing hotly, and he felt every inch a child terrified of storms.

“I mean… I miss feeling…”

“I get it,” Eugene whispered, already walking toward where Adam huddled shamefully. “You miss the feeling of falling asleep laying next to someone, that physical touch we are all starved for here. Most of us anyways.”

After kicking off his own footwear, the Red Sentry clambered onto the bed and situated himself under his beloved quilt. Reclining back, he grinned and patted his shoulder.

“Bring it on in here.”

The weight of Adam’s head as it slowly and carefully (and awkwardly) nestled into position unexpectedly wrought a contented sigh from Skull’s lips. He’d missed this too. The soft black hair brushed his cheek and jaw and the feel of another living breathing body curled alongside his body brought a soothing calmness he’d not felt in decades.

It was a basic, essential need, this craving for human contact, body to body in the vulnerability of sleep. It didn’t always link arm in arm with the desire for sex, though it often did at times. That was simply biology and hormones.

Having Adam in his bed, flush against him, was definitely not of that variety. He could see why the younger man would be concerned that he might think that though. The Sentry barracks were at one time rife with ‘grab ass’ games, favors for favors, blackmail and extortion, ass kissing… That didn’t include the destructive things they got up to outside the palace walls.

Essentially, they were like a roving band of yowling tomcats and the tyrant had grown extremely annoyed with their antics. There were enough rug rats running about underfoot as it was, and he was not risking anyone ‘catching feelings’ and wanting to create a family in his palace. Babies and children made one vulnerable as he’d obviously taken advantage of that fact.

Hell no he wasn’t about to be bothered with the incessant whining and wailing of snot nosed brats. He himself had taken care of his own procreation ability long ago and he wasn’t shy about sharing. His abusive old man had given him one piece of advice when he was but a surly teen.

Despite his assertion that ‘Tommy’ was a fairy princess beneath his denials and protestations, Mr. Oliver warned his adopted son about ‘semen demons’, shrewd harpies out to snare a man with the promise of soft, cuddly, powder scented brats… or as a means to use the courts to take the cash they were truly after.

“Those bitches will poke holes in condoms, Thomas,” he’d drunkenly slurred, feeling as if he were imparting the wisdom of the ages. “They’ll dig them out of the trash when you aren’t looking even! ‘Forget’ their pills. Get you baked or drunk and rub one out when you don’t know what way is up! Don’t trust none of ‘em! Look at what I got to deal with!”

He snorted, a slimy booger bubbling from one nostril and contracting and expanding with his respirations.

Tommy had stared at it in disgust, an expression that his ‘pa’ took to mean he understood and was in agreement.

“You get any type of cash, power, fame, and those cunts will swarm you like ants in a sugar hill! A man can’t be too careful. But you want to make sure you can still have your fun when you want it then gallop off into the sunset when the rodeo is over.”

Though Lord Drakkon had taken measures with his ‘castration’ protocol, it only helped to stim pregnancies, but not all the wild, distracting debauchery, much to his dismay. Many men were still able to desire and participate in sexual activity, not all the guards but enough of them to make things dangerous for an innocent new recruit.

Skull listened to the tyrant recount his own sterilization with curiosity as the guards assembled those first few weeks once the weaklings had been eliminated. They knew they weren’t going to like what was about to go down, but it was that or a painful death…

Later on, he found it ironic that the asshole even bothered with his nuts. During his first few years working his way up the Sentry ladder, Eugene, like everyone else watched as Drakkon trotted his precious ‘pet’ about the palace, though at the time, it wore a knock-off Ranger helmet in addition to a form-fitting black silk uniform and golden collar.

And that muscular build and narrow hips clearly belonged to a male.

Rumors swirled about Red’s other job besides guarding Drakkon, the very stories that got many scathing punishments. But it was hard to believe otherwise when the asshole’s hands lingered about the pet’s hips, thighs, and ass, his fingertips gliding along defined curves in a way that was obviously full of possessive lust.

Why Drakkon gave a goddamn about anyone wondering about their relationship was unknown.

Skull’s reminiscing was interrupted by Adam’s soft voice. He was surprised as he’d thought the weary man had fallen asleep already.

“Tell me more about your Billy, Eugene. Just what you’re comfortable sharing,” he whispered.

“Well,” the other man chuckled sadly. “Where should I start?”

#boom! comics power rangers #power rangers #ao3 author #ao3 fanfic #lord drakkon #red sentry skull #world of the coinless eugene skullovitch #world of the coinless adam park #friendship #sharing tragedy #human connection #touch starved #fluff #writing prompt #prompt asks

[newsie-collective]

Splasher

Quickfire Favorites

Food: “Lasagna. All fuckin’ day. Does not matta when or where, it's always lasagna.”

Color: “Light blue, like the sky on a clea’ day.”

Season: “Early summa. When the weatha’s warm, but not overwhelmin’ly hot.”

Weather: “Sunny an’ warm, but not hot.”

Hobby: “Swimmin’. Life just feels betta in the wata.”

Animal: “Giraffes.”

Memory: “First time I gotta whole dime for one pape. That was when I knew I could make it as a newsie.”

Comfort Item: “Ain’t got one. Don’t see no use in havin’ a lotta stuff.”

Second gen US. His parents were young kids when they moved to New York from Italy

Knows minimal Italian. He was never formally taught the language by his parents, he just picked some up

The scar is from a fall when his hip gave out. He was climbing up an old fire escape with Graves when it happened. He thinks it’s embarrassing, so there’s always a different reason

“Fought a shark”

“You should see the otha guy”

“My pops was an evil bastard” (not a lie, but not how he got the scar)

Graves comes up with even crazier stories for how he got his scar

“Fell from grace”

“Got it crawlin’ up from hell”

“He fought Bigfoot and WON”

Considers Graves his best friend. He was there during the accident and didn’t tell what actually happened

Used to wear caps but kept losing them

After losing the third cap he just said fuck it and stopped wearing them 

Lowkey faked his own death. There was a bad fire in the apartment building where he lived with his family, and quite a few people didn't make it out. Once the fire died down, he got just close enough to watch everyone go through the rubble. He saw his parents find what they believed to be his body and realized he could be free. He never looked back

Doesn't talk about life before. He's scared he’ll have to go back to his parents if they find out he’s alive. 

If he thinks he sees his parents, he’ll duck into an alley or hide somewhere until they’re gone

It’s not them everytime, but he has seen them. Turns out, he’s got a little brother now… He hopes they treat him better

He tried to introduce himself to his brother once when he was alone. He panicked a bit and just ended up awkward trying to sell a pape

He was not successful 

Panicked when someone asked his name for the first time after running away. He was so close to saying “Adam” but totally stuttered

He ended up saying he didn’t have one

The next day someone saw him jumping into the river and called him Splasher. It stuck

Swims to help alleviate the chronic joint pain

Once he’s done selling for the day, he’s in the river

Hates the colder months bc it’s just constant pain

Cannot remember a pain day lower than 6/10

Will not admit to the pain

Probably thinks it’s normal

“Wait, you mean you don’t have days when you can barely walk?!?”

Jfc this kid can climb. If he’s not in the river he’s climbing up something

Will sleep on the roof if weather permits

Always outside. If he’s inside, the weather is absolute shit or the world is ending

He’s kinda like a human Waffle House Index in that sense

Like every other newsie, he absolutely adores Miss Medda. Has gone over to Manhattan several times just to make it to one of her shows and try and catch her at the stage door

Stole flowers for her once

Will flirt to hell and back to sell papes

Has flirted with the wrong people…

Playfully flirts with other newsies. Has probably gotten into scraps with other them about flirting with their partners

Mush had to physically restrain Blink once. Splasher told Mush he had the prettiest eyes he’d ever seen. Blink was standing behind him and almost soaked Splasher on the spot

Jack is the only one he won’t flirt with for some reason

Despite all the flirting, he’s not all that interested in finding a partner

High sleight of hand. Doesn’t use it much but can absolutely get his hands in pockets and purses

Pickpocketed during the strike to try and help himself and others through not selling

This is coming out totally definitely on time and not late at all 😬

👻

#newsies #92sies #askthenewsies #carrying the banner #newsies of new york #livesies #king of new york #splasher newsies #splasher #👻

[applecherry108]

Asking about your VLD rewrite

Blessed be the anon that reads my tags. 🙏

SO,,

First and foremost, black Paladin Lance endgame. Klance endgame. Shiro and Curtis endgame, but Adam is alive and we give Curtis an actual personality and character arc. Allura's not dead, Lotor is good, probably something about whatsherface (the witch).

Alright alright alright, SO,,, Lance is the youngest of his family. His family that suspiciously looks like the other paladins. So in this rewrite, Lance is used to being the mastermind and the scape goat. Siblings want cookies? Lance makes a plan. Mama catches them? Lance takes the dive. You know. Real leadership qualities from a young age.

Cut to the first episode. Lance takes the dive for him, Pidge, and Hunk flunking the flight simulator. Iverson still compares him to Keith. We then cut to Lance at the shooting range, absolutely killing it (so his sharpshooting doesn't come so out of left field). Boom, Veronica's there to give him a pep talk. NOW we can go back to later that night, Lance trying to cheer up Hunk by sneaking out, coming across Pidge yada yada yada.

We're rescuing Shiro now. Keith doesn't remember Lance which INFURIATES him, and we'll learn several seasons later in a flashback that Lance started the whole rivalry to keep Keith out of trouble. He was getting into too many fights with James and was going to get expelled, but Lance, who looked up to Shiro, knew how important Keith's success was to him, so he steps in to play a role. To divert Keith's attention and keep him from fighting James.

And Keith doesn't remember him. AFTER ALL HE DID FOR—

Anyway.

Blah blah blah, Pidge wants to leave, Pidge decides to stay, "PIDGE IS A GIRL?!" Spoiler: Pidge is a transgirl. Later that night, Lance goes to Pidge's room to apologize, that he shouldn't have reacted that way. And is it really okay to keep calling her Pidge? What?, she says. Well, says Lance, communal showers at the Garrison... He just doesn't want to use the wrong name. Pidge tears up. No no, that's just a nickname Matt gave her, but... It wouldn't hurt to call her Katie every now and then. Tearful hug. Big Brother Figure Established.

Alright, I'll be honest, I do not fucking remember a lot of vld. So, uhhh...... skip skip skip, fuck it, we'll keep Shiro clone because it aids one of my plot points. Oh right, Lance has a recurring dream of walking down a hallway with doors on either side and an open door at the end. When he was younger, he'd meet a man in that room, standing in front of a floor-to-ceiling window looking out into space. Now he reaches to open that now-closed door and is awoken by another paladin. He's sleepwalked into the Lions' docking bay. This keeps happening.

They decide to try out for Black's paladin, Lance sits in there too long, a feeling right at his finger tips but just out of reach. Black still appears to choose Keith.

Blah blah blah Lotor And The Ladies™️, Shenanigans™️, Shiro's suddenly back, Keith absolutely fucks off, Pidge goes looking for Matt and doesn't find him. Wholeass thinks he's dead (finds the grave) and we're going to sit with that trauma for a while, fuck you. (he's not dead, but I want this plot point to actually MATTER and not be resolved in 3 seconds).

Keith finds Krolia, AND WE'RE DOING TIME/GRAVITY CORRECTLY GODDAMN IT. So Keith is MIA for months. Voltron hasn't heard from him, the Blades haven't heard from him, but he eventually gets back and he thinks only a few days have past. BECAUSE IN INTENSE GRAVITY TIME MOVES SLOWLY FOR THE PERSON BUT LONGER FOR THE OBSERVER, FUCK YOU!!!!!

So he's NOT "mature" or "grizzled" but he's fucking mad. Gets back and still shoves Lance aside (Top Ten Anime Betrayals) and just wants to get down to business. He's brought a rando Altean with him, I straight up forget her name so we're calling her Blondie. They found Blondie in the whats-it-called, same as before. But she's the only Altean there and she tells them what Lotor's been up to (that's weird. that's SUSPICIOUS). Lotor suddenly goes coocoo-bananas and they fight, have a clone fight, why not.

Mostly the same, yada yada... While it pains me to still destroy the castle and have them get time warped 3 years, that part was Good, Actually. Terrible, worst writers you know made a good plot point. :/

Anyways, Keith's been jumpy and jittery, like he's waiting for something, and then it comes out that he was missing for MONTHS. What? No. He was only gone a few days! He had visions of the future even! .......The mental link. Connected. A handful of times. He was not seeing Future Visions, he was witnessing Current Events. Shiro had a complete breakdown, Pidge lost (and eventually found) her brother, Lance fucking DIED and he wasn't there for any of it. Here you go, Keith, have a crisis. Reevaluate some shit and FUCK YOU you aren't magically two years older.

We also learn that what limited Mother-Son time he and Krolia had in the void place, he learned how and why she went to Earth, how she met his father, and the real reason she left (surprise! he has a twin and it's Acxa). And he still gets Kosmo. Because puppy.

That Thing with Big Butch Lady and Red Lady, except Red Lady For Real dies and that thing that happens in the final season actually makes sense now. Lance is feeling fucking useless and can feel his connection with the Red Lion dwindling. Stuff stuff stuff, things things things... Interpersonal Drama comes to a head in the gameshow episode. Lance doesn't bomb the Name-That-Alien game—he gets too mad to say Rolo fast enough, No he can't name every masked generic Blade, and he refuses to deadname Pidge/Katie. The question at the end becomes not who should leave, but who should STAY? If they can all pick someone to stay, the rest can go. The others all refuse to vote because the power of friendship no one left behind or whatever. Lance votes for himself. Because this is a war. You put your best soldiers forward. The others are shocked! Blindsided! Bob grills him--is this really what you want? Lance responds by saying not voting is like a vote for everyone to stay. Bob gives him a knowing and confirming Look. So yes, Lance chooses to stay.

Lance gets zapped away and the others get a Stern Talking To. They come back to their Lions to find Lance in a panic on the comms. Confused and Scared and Alone. Everyone chimes in all at once, Kosmo zaps Keith over to Red (and then every one else). Hugs, apologies, healing. Boom, the Lions turn back on and we're back on our way to Earth.

We're back to Earth, Lions tucked away on a moon. Adam's alive! Joyous day—oh shit he is PISSED at Shiro. Not the warm welcome he expected. At ALL. In this version, Adam is not a fellow pilot, he's a medical officer, and Dammit Jim! he's not just anyone's doctor, he's your doctor, Shiro! And his boyfriend! And Takashi "Give Me Glory or Give Me Death" Shirogane ignored Dr. Boyfriend's strong medical advice to NOT FUCKING GO ON THAT MISSION. So sure, he's happy to seem him back and alive and well, but since he's okay, Adam's going to be mad at him. Because he thought he'd died! For years! And how could he do that to him?! They will continue to fight for the remainder of the team's time on Earth.

We're also introduced to Curtis who, no shit, in canon, was the comms officer that reached out to Matt for Mr. Pidge's Dad (I don't remember anybody's name, sorry). And if the jury will recall, those open communications are how the Galra located Earth. This man is bearing the guilt of the entire invasion on his shoulders because he made those transmissions. And he and Shiro get a bunch of scenes together to develop their relationship.

Stuff happens, blah blah blah, hey remember that scene in canon? Where they call their Lions and they all appear lickity-split? Except, in canon, Red doesn't respond to Lance right away? And he nearly dies? And it's never fucking explained? Well it's getting fucking explained now. After all that jazz, while they're recovering, Lance confesses what happened with Red to Keith. Keith already knows. Because Keith called Red. And it just confirms to Lance that he's lost his place on the team. That with Shiro back to take over Black again, he's not needed. He decides to leave the team, but he hasn't told anyone yet.

Anyways, I know I haven't been talking about Allura. That's because I've forgotten all the things I wanted to do with her, but her and Hunk have been having their own solo adventure stories and developing their character arcs this whole time too, just don't ask me what that is. They're important. They're not just the love interest and comic relief. But I'm clearly here for Lance content, so...

Post-battle, ready to go back to space. Pidge makes that comment about the cartoon, how Keith and Allura get together. Lance has an irritated only sort-of reaction. Hey, it's their last day on Earth. The others think they're all leaving tomorrow (Lance still hasn't told them he's staying). He invites Allura to have lunch with his family, since she doesn't have anyone else to spend this time with. She declines, she and Blondie are doing research on that Altean-slash-battery person. That's fine, he understands. He runs into Keith. Keith? What're you doing here? Why aren't you spending time with—shit, not family but like....Shiro and Adam? Keith laughs awkwardly and talks about how those two are still fighting and no thanks, he does not want any part of that. Lance invites him to lunch with his family.

Remember all those soft looks Keith always gave Lance in canon? That amounted to nothing? Well here's some more, and they actually mean something now. And My God, does Keith eat up being in a large chaotic family setting. It's like all he's ever wanted was to be surrounded by people that love him.

Anyways, nothing explicitly romantic happens, but on their way back (there's a big going away party at the garrison), Lance finally confides in Keith that he's not leaving. Keith.exe stops working. And while he's having this mental meltdown Lance asks him not to tell the others, that he wants to tell them himself at the party. Keith respects his decision.

At the party, he decides to tell Shiro first. And boy howdy is Shiro blasted. Absolutely smashed off his ass. Lance gets to have a conversation with a way-too-honest drunk Shiro. Firstly, he and Adam officially broke up. Because duh, Shiro's going back to space and that was Adam's ultimatum. Hence, alcohol. Second, when Lance tells him he's not leaving, drunk Shiro gets really emotional for some reason and starts apologizing. Apparently, when Keith made fighter pilot and Lance didn't, that was Shiro. Lance was supposed to be promoted (Keith's issues with authority were holding him back), but Shiro, as a high ranking officer, overruled that decision. He goes on to talk about how he projected onto Keith. That he saw himself in him, and he wanted to give this kid every opportunity that Shiro wouldn't get because that disease or whatever was supposed to put him in an early grave. He projected all his dreams onto this gifted orphan kid, that he never really considered what Keith wanted. Keith didn't care about going to space or being a pilot, he just wanted to be somewhere where he belonged, where he could help others. He never wanted to be leader.

Shiro takes a big chug of booze.

Black chose Lance. When he was stuck in the astral plane, bound to the Black Lion, Black tried to choose Lance and Shiro overruled that decision. Just like he overruled his promotion in school. Because Shiro wanted Keith to have what Shiro wanted, everyone else be damned.

Lance is shocked. He doesn't know what to think. Is he mad? Is he relieved?

Sidebar, bc idk where else to put this, that hallway dream I mentioned before? It was Lance connecting with the Lions. When he goes into any other door he has a moment of, Is that Allura? Oh wait, it's his sister Rachel on the beach they grew up next to. Is that Pidge in the garden? No it's Veronica. Etc etc. And each time Lance will say he wants to stay there with his loved one. They smile sadly, tell him they'd love for him to stay, but he doesn't belong there. What I failed to mention before is that we actually see Lance pilot every Lion at some point. Blue and Red sure, but Green to save Pidge and Yellow when Hunk was in danger. Lance can pilot every Lion. Here's that twist: Lance is Voltron. There is no Voltron without Lance. Here's where we loop in why his siblings look like the other paladins--because it's Lance's connection to them that makes them paladins. It's their dynamics. Lance could technically deem anyone worthy to be a paladin, but unconsciously or not, it's all him. Allura was meant to have Blue right out of the gate. Because Lance can connect to any Lion, that's why he was able to pilot Blue at first. But there was a communication error, and Allura called Shiro the leader, and because Lance agreed and looked up to him, the Lions accepted it too. It's not until Shiro "dies" and gets tied to Black and fucks with everything that that connection is disturbed. Why that door in his dream is suddenly closed. Shiro overruled Black and the Lions sent Lance to Red since Allura was always meant to have Blue. Lance could pilot any of them but he's meant to be the Black Paladin.

Anyways,,, so drunk Shiro spills the beans, Lance takes his rightful place as leader and Keith goes back to the role that most befits his fucking character arc--support. Right hand man. Not the leader, but the one that's going to jump to help before anyone else. Fuck you, LM and JDS. And like, Lance the Strategist and Fuck You he was the de facto leader when Kuron was melting down and Keith was MIA anyway and he was GOOD AT IT I AM OWED FINANCIAL COMPENSATION—

Anyway.

Have I ever mentioned how I’ve only watched the final season once? In a single sitting? At midnight on my birthday when it was released in 2018? So my memory is foggy but my anger is real.

Surprise! Blondie is actually witch lady! (Which iirc was an actual twist in the original 80s cartoon). And psych!! It was HER altean death camp all along!! Lotor had nothing to do with it and she used her magic to make him lose his marbles and fight them! And god help me I cannot fucking remember what her canonical villain plot even was, so maybe she still went crazy and did some stupid multi-dimensional bullshit to get her family back. So then why kill Lotor before? Right, because he founded the Blades. He’s thousands of years old, and from a relatively young age was against the way his family was running things, so he started the Blades. He and Acxa were working undercover during all that s3/s4 nonsense. Witch lady finds that out and perceives it as a betrayal. Kills him, wants to start fresh with a younger, more impressionable son.

Again, she nearly fucks all of existence but the gang stops her just in time. Allura tries to sacrifice herself but free-from-quintessence-poisoning witch saves fuck that, you’ve lost enough. And cleans up her own damn mess her own damn self.

Universe saved, galra home world unfucked, lotor no longer a quintessence mummy, but no Altea. Altea is GONE but galra world was mostly still there. A bunch of alteans-in-hiding finally come out of the woodwork, and the ones from the quint farm are free. Blondie is still not a real person, though.

The lions do not fuck off to god knows where, allura is alive, lotor is at her side, and that ties up all the main threads or whatever, and we get to end with universal peace and the defender of the universe is still out there doing good, dismantling the remains of the empire which, without the quint-poisoned overlords, is not all that much of a dire threat. They’re still an empire that’s done war crimes, but at least there’s no more giant monsters, y’feel?

Oh right, I’m missing a part in the middle—remember that alt dimension episode in like s3? With evil alteans? Yeah that, but with explicit Evil Quint-Crazed Immortal Allura and Resistance Leader Lotor. Like. Explicit foreshadowing. It’s also meant to bridge the gap of Allura making peace with Keith being galra and the start of keith being vulnerable around Lance, so.

It’s been 5 years and I’m still mad, but it’s been 5 years and my memory is not so great so ta-da, that’s the gist of my fuck-you-Lance-is-the-main-character rewrite. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

#apple talks #long post #I pray the read more works bc this is a beast #obviously not all elements are completely flushed out sorry Allura and hunk but u weren’t done as dirty as my boy so #vld #dude the auto tags are golden. I almost typed the whole thing and was suggested legendary: disaster. queerbait. disappointment. 😂😂😂

[joe9cool]

Collide-Justin Herbert- 16

A:N This is fiction, This is not based on any real life events. I dont own or know Justin, his family, the chargers etc.

Time flies when you're having fun.

It was Saturday night, and Justin and Sara were scheduled to begin their drive back to the City of Angels at 5:00 am sharp the next morning. 

They woke up Friday to a quiet house, Patrick was gone for his game against CAL and everyone else was asleep. After Justin unsuccessfully attempted sex. (Sara was adamant about no sex in his parents house) they got up. Sara went to make breakfast for the family as a thank you while Justin fed Nova and Dylan and let the dog out to do his business. Sara decided on pancakes for everyone and some eggs. She couldn't imagine how Holly cooked and fed three growing athletes.

Justin did help her with cutting the fruit. Unbeknownst to them Mark and Holly were up and watching them from afar. Just like the first night they visited their son.

"What do you think of her? Holly whispered to Mark. 

"I really like her, she's sweet, grounded. Has her head on her shoulders. I can't believe her parents don't see that."

Holly sighed." She loved Mitch and Patrick's girlfriends. But with Sara felt very protective. When Sara spoke about the downside about fame and how she'd been screwed over by friends and distant family members her heart ached. She was a brave girl, going to California for college at eighteen, them getting a big break at twenty one and having all this attention.

The fact that her family thought it was easy work or that she shouldn't be on the same level as her sisters broke her heart.

Justin had spoken with his parents about her family when they asked why he didn't meet them yet. He explained according to Sara's words.

They are a handful 

They are overwhelming.

He wanted to press the issue further but he didn't want to upset her. It seemed she needed to be in the right mental space before she could deal with her family.

While her parents and aunt sounded like a piece of work, she spoke very fondly of her older sisters. She and Pat bonded over them being the youngest and getting beat up constantly growing up.

They stayed and had dinner with the Herbert's Friday night and then they had gone back to Justin's

Saturday the whole day was spent packing up and making love when they could. Justin was in a weird mood. He had gotten some concerning news regarding Allen's injury. Reality was hitting him hard again that he would go back to the pressure, the criticism. The fact that some commentator was out there calling him a bust.

Sara noticed a change as well but just stayed out of it. Since that night at Autzen stadium she truly grasped how much pressure he was facing. Being up in the stands she could only imagine what he felt on the field. 

But now standing on that field, even among empty seats, picturing every area filled up. People spending hundreds of dollars on your merchandise and putting your name on your back and trusting you with a franchise. She, in some way, understood that. With that new knowledge she smothered Justin in kisses and love Friday. When he got the text message and phone calls from Tom about the team she just left him alone and would let him come to her.  

Eventually he did. She was making a snack, all that lovemaking made her famished. While she was at the counter replenishing her fluids she felt arms wrap around her and a head on her shoulder. Leaning into his embrace she didn't say anything.

After a moment of silence he spoke. "This season's fucked."

It was weird to see him so cynical. He really wasn't one or the other, being more  realistic. "Justin, you can't say that. You still have half the season. Plenty of football left."

"Yeah, and our toughest games are still on the horizon with no starters. This is gonna go well." He got off of her. "I'm going to get a workout in."

"What we did all day today wasn't a workout?" She tried to joke

That got a smile out of him. "Well it gave you a workout, considering you were practically riding the whole time."

"Nothing wrong with that. I love riding and seeing you lose control" He smiled. "I have no objection to it all." He kissed her head and went to the basement. Leaving Sara alone with her thoughts. Which was usually a dangerous thing. 

After trying to convince herself not to do her usual toxic bullshit, she realized she needed to call her mom.

She did the math, it would be around 9pm Pittsburgh time which meant her mom would be getting ready for bed and doing her 25 step night routine, thinking it was going to reverse looking sixty five. She hit 'momma' in the contacts and only after two rings, she heard the familiar voice.

"Darling! What a surprise! I thought you weren't going to call. I was even telling Brittany I should book a flight to surprise you." Sara did have a chuckle at that. "Well you can hold off on a trip. I'm still alive."

"Speaking of trips, what are you doing for Thanksgiving? You are coming home right?" 

Fuck, of course her mom would bring that up. "Uh I don't know yet mom my schedule is all over the place."

"Sara, you didn't come last year! We haven't seen you since April!"

She sighed. "Mom, I came for my birthday and fourth of July. Plus Eric and Michelle's wedding. Alyssa hasn't been home for Thanksgiving in years." Referring to her Brother in Law's hockey schedule. "Why is it so important I'm there?"

"Can't a mother want as many of her kids there?" Sara rolled her eyes. Cathy had a plan, she knew her mother too well. "What's the real reason mom?"

There was a pause. "Well you remember Trevor?"

Trevor was a guy she graduated high school with. He was also the son of one of her mom's friends. They were constantly forced to spend time together. He wasn't a jerk that bullied her, but he didn't exactly stick up for her either. 

She hadn't thought of him in years. "Yeah, what about him?"

"His fiance dumped him a couple months ago, he's pretty down right now. Rochelle and I wanted you to take him out when you came home. He could use a friend right now."

She snorted. "Um, as much as I'm sorry to hear that he has plenty of friends. Also I know what you're trying to do mom. I don't think he wants to go out on a date two months after ending a serious relationship."

"You know I showed a picture of the Michael kors campaign you did. His exact words were 'wow she looks beautiful.'"

Sara rolled her eyes. "Jeez mom what was he supposed to say? She looks average. Listen, I got to see but even If I could come home I'm not interested in seeing Trevor."

"Okay I'll drop it." She knew it wasn't over with her mom. "Oh you need to call your sister Alyssa. She wants to know when you could come down to St. Louis to meet the new baby. Kenzie is six  months old and you've still only seen pictures. Plus Brent's shoulder is injured again. He's in a cast and can't help with Theo. You could go down and be a big help."

Now Sara loved her nephew to pieces and did want to meet the new baby. She also wouldn't mind helping But wasn't that her mom's job?

"What was that?" Sara didn't realize she grumbled that. "Oh nothing. How's dad?" 

"Oh you know your father. He's in his study checking the stock markets and coming up with the best new investment for his clients." Her dad Mike Wozniak was a workaholic. Even at sixty seven he refused to give up his position, saying he worked too damn hard to just give it up. Even when the doctor told him he was risking giving himself a heart attack. Mike was a stubborn man, and as Justin called her 'his stubborn woman.' She was always reminded of her dad. 

"You know you're doing what your dad does. Put work above everything else." It was true in some sense. Sara's dad skipped many events of hers in favor of her older sisters because he only had time for one thing. While her mom tried to go as often as she could, she usually had papers to grade at the event so she didn't pay attention.

It was funny, wasn't the youngest child supposed to get all of the love? Because it didn't work that way in Sara's family.

And they wondered why she tried to stay away.

Suddenly she heard a beep on her end she looked to see it was her manager calling. "Hey mom listen I have to go I just got called for something."

"Oh are you on set?"

She lied. "Yeah and my break is over. Love you and tell Katie and Alyssa I'll call them sometime this or next week." She hung up and switched over.

"Hello?"

"Hi Sara, I have some exciting news." 

"Yes?"

"So Rihanna's team reached out to us and wanted to see if you would be interested in becoming a representative for Savage Fenty! This would be a photoshoot session for next week followed by walking in the fashion show late January or early February!"

Her jaw dropped. "No fucking way!!! Yes of course I'll do it! Holy shit that's amazing."

"Excellent! I'll be reviewing your contract and then you should receive a box of their new lingerie collection. You just have to post on your Instagram. This is big Sara, big! You will also need some runway training. I'll make sure it fits in your schedule with filming while you're away."

They discussed the rest of the details and once she saw Justin emerge from the basement sweaty and shirtless she had to cut it short. "Okay Alex gotta go call me sometime." She hung up and her mouth dropped open. He walked to the fridge, aloof that his girlfriend was ogling him despite the fact that they went for a few rounds earlier. “Who were you just talking to?” He took a swig of his protein juice, reminding himself to text Pat to eat up all the food so it didn’t go bad. "Oh no one just work stuff."

It wasn't a lie. She had a plan for something that might tie into a Christmas present. She  already started to get anxiety on what to get her family, friends, and more importantly Justin. First Christmas together was a big milestone, or was that when you were married? She didn't know, but what she did know was this was a man who could have anything but wanted nothing. He wasn't materialistic, just a simple guy who wore Nike sweats and hated whole foods. 

So what else did she have? She had seen trends on Tiktok about girls making their man a personal poster. What about if she did a calendar? She was a fucking genius. Full of sexy pics that he could put on his locker.

The plan was perfect. She would just have to steal some jerseys, rent out a studio, and have someone she trusted take the photos and style her hair and makeup.

"Sara!" She broke free of her thoughts and stared at Justin, who was confused. "What's wrong?"

"Why?"

He shook head. "You sorta stared off into space and just began to breathe heavily . Are you having a panic attack?"

She laughed. "No, just excited for this project I'm working on. Hey, can I ask you a favor?"

"What's up?"

"Do you think a couple days a week I can work out in the practice facilities?"

He was shocked. "Don't you have a gym?"

She nodded. "A public one, and I really want to just work out without the paparazzi hanging out trying to get photos of me."

He nodded. "I mean you can come in when we are on the field and no fans are around. Sometimes we have closed practices. Less people around. Usually late at night is the quiet time. May I ask what is this about?"

"I've been slacking on the workout and I just want to get into healthy habits." He seemed to buy it and she was glad. Truth be told she wanted to tone up a bit. It took her years to accept her body, between talent agents telling her she was too fat to be in the business and gossips mags putting her on the cover and calling her fat. Conservative men going on social media and preaching to their followers that her being a size 12 was promoting an unhealthy lifestyle. Funny enough she started a feud with one of them, and posted screenshots of them in her DM's trying to fuck her.

She was going to be doing a fashion show in lingerie where nothing could be photoshopped. Sara at least wanted to tone up a bit.

What better way to do that than workout with athletes? She had gotten a bit slimmer by sticking to a healthy diet like Justin does.  Combine that with exercise? A great combo if you asked her.

After he showered, he advised that the both of them turn in early since he wanted to be up to say goodbye to his family and hit the road. As they shut out the light it made her sad to think that they would be going back to the real world. The world of critics and pressure. 

She felt Justin wrap his arms around her, and she leaned into him. Sara felt so safe in his arms,like nothing could get to her.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Thank you so much for your hospitality. I had such a lovely weekend." Sara hugged Holly and Mark and Patrick. It was 5am and still dark outside. She didn't know how the Herbert family were such early risers. When she questioned Justin, he said he never knew either. He was a night owl and it took him to get to the NFL to get into an early riser habit. 

The two bid their goodbyes with plans to see each other again. Holly mentioned something about coming down for Thanksgiving. Justin said he'd have to see the schedule. The whole topic made Sara think about her conversation with her mom. Truth be told she really didn't want to go home especially since it was going to be a plan to set her up with Trevor.

Once they double checked everything was loaded up they drove off, and she could see the Herbert family get smaller and smaller in the rearview mirror.

Justin heard her sign. "What's wrong?"

She smiled. "Nothing, it's just. I love it here so much. Shame we have to go back."

"I know. But we will be back in the summer. Usually in July I go home for about three weeks."

"I don't know if I'll be able to go. I usually do reshoots for the show. So I might be in North Carolina for about a few weeks around that time." He nodded in response. 2023 was going to be a challenge for the couple. Sara's schedule was going to be insane. It wasn't like Justin was going to be the boyfriend to visit her on set.

The first couple hours of the drive were quiet. Justin grabbing her hand every now and then and pointing at certain sights he saw.

Hour three she realized she needed to stop for a snack, maybe use the bathroom. He pulled up to a McDonald's, and grabbing her mask and baseball cap she got out. She did her business in the bathroom and went to the counter to order. It was a small McDonald's with older people working there so she wasn't too concerned.

However the young girl in the dining room kept staring. It began to make her uncomfortable. At this point let a girl know if you want a picture or not.

Sara paid her no attention as she ordered a coke and a couple burgers and fries. Unbeknownst to her though the young girl took a photo of Sara from behind, sending it to her friends. 

Once she got her food, she rushed back out to the silver Porsche. Justin looked at her. "Babe it's 8am, it's too early for coke and fries. Don't they just serve breakfast?"

She shrugged. "Not this one. Plus I had a craving for this. I don't get this very often."

She put the bag in the middle of them. Knowing he was probably going to reach for some fries, because what normal person wouldn't? He was a normal person though, and ten minutes later she saw him reach into the bag and pop a few into his mouth.

"Isn't it a little early for fries?" She teased. 

He playfully glared at her. "Shut up." He muttered and she laughed.

Around hour four she fell asleep. Justin smiled as he stole glances at her sleeping face every now and then. They were on the longest stretch on the expressway that would lead them to California. The time seemed to fly because Sara woke up and recognized that they were back in California.  "Hey sleeping beauty. How did you sleep?"

She yawned and tried to stretch as much as she could. "Okay I guess. Better than if we flew. I can't sleep on planes."

"Really?"

She nodded. " When I was working on the 1975s album I was back and forth to London. That trip was a nightmare for me." She clapped her hands. "I'm glad that this year I was able to record in California."

He totally forgot that she sang. "Hey I haven't heard your singing voice on a recording. Can I listen to something?"

Sara grabbed her phone, and after a few minutes of searching, she connected her phone to the radio, and after a few seconds music filled the car.

I swore that I'll become a better man for you

The song was 'I lied' with Lord Huron. It was one of her favorite songs. She wanted to show him 'Meet me in the city' but Ben hadn't sent her the recording yet. She would probably hear it when she went to shoot the music video. 

He was in a trance as her solo came on. "Wow, it's beautiful! Your voice is beautiful." Justin was proud, she did have a beautiful voice and the melody flowed well.  "Have you ever thought about making an album?"

She shrugged. "Not really, I only like doing features and duets. I have helped compose some lyrics and melodies but that's about it.

Once the song was over, she played more music that she was featured on. Her first one was Foster the People's Static Space Lover.

"This was my first uncredited feature. I was twenty and doing some small acting jobs before landing the show. When it was released I thought it was going to be my big break. Critics called it the worst song on the album." She laughed. "It hurt then, but now it's funny. I honestly was happy the band's label paid me $250 and I got to spend time with one of my favorite bands. Everyone was so nice. Even today I'm still friends with the lead singer."

"Can I ask you a question? Who was the meanest encounter with a celebrity?" He was genuinely curious.

"So when I was relatively new to the Hollywood scene I bumped into Kendall Jenner in 2018, at a party and I told who I was. She looked me up and down and stated I was a faker, she called security to escort me away from her." She rolled her eyes. "Last year I ran into her again and she tried to act like I was an old friend. The only reason Bella is friends with her because of modeling. I make sure not to be around her, but if she says hi, I am not going to be mean in front of the cameras. I would like nothing more than to tell her to shove it.”

Justin smiled. Another point of silence for the rest of the drive.

He approached his house and turned into the driveway. She was going to go home and check her mail, do laundry and call her sisters. He had to get ready for the media in the morning and go back to his usual routine.

Once he pulled up, she unloaded her bags from the trunk and put it in her car. She kissed him and jumped in her car.

As she drove, she thought of everything that had happened over the weekend. How wonderfully their relationship progressed, and how she hasn't thought of the other women once. She also was trying to figure out what to do with Joey.

He had backed off completely, she knew he had that date with Kailey but she didn't know how it went. She felt bad, because Joey was so cool and he was fun to talk to. But she had to say something about him trying to flirt, because she was in a relationship with his teammate.

Maybe when she was at the fitness center she would have a chance to speak with him.

She pulled up to her house and threw her suitcases in her room. After saying hi to Erika, she asked her to go grocery shopping since she needed to load up the house. This week she wouldn't be seeing Justin as often since she had work commitments and wanted to spend time with her friends.

In the car ride to the store she told Erika all about her trip and what went down. Her friend squealed at Justin saying 'I Love you.'

"So does this mean that you are over the thought of him with  those other girls?" Erika stated. Sara didn't name names when she told her friend/assistant the story of her and Justin’s issues.

Sara nodded. "Yes I've decided I needed to let go of that." She was ashamed. "I have something to confess. I had his phone to help him with something. I went to Instagram and took screenshots of his DM's and sent them to my phone."

Erika laughed. "Are you serious?" She looked over at her in shock. "How exactly is this funny?"

"SARA! I've never not gone through a guy's phone!"

"Erika! That's not normal! I feel so guilty. It's a violation of trust."

"And he hasn't given you a reason to trust him." Sara was quiet for a moment. "Still. It wasn't right. I'd be upset if he did that to me."

"Are you gonna tell him?"

There it was, the million dollar question. "I don't know. Maybe one day, but. I feel bad. This isn't like me. It never was."

"Well, don't forget you got fucked over in mostly all of your relationships and hookups. Consider it a test." 

She decided to drop the topic for now. Erika was no help in this situation. 

They pulled up to whole foods. She didn't care if Justin made fun of her for shopping there. It made her feel healthy and she had the money. Grabbing a cart she and her friend went up and down the aisles. She stopped and got sushi as well considering she was trying to be healthy.

A couple fans recognized her and she stopped and took some photos. She was in a colorful hoodie and black jeans. Still wearing her baseball cap. 

Once that was over she filled up her shopping cart, paid for her groceries (almost $300 which Justin would scoff at) and loaded up she headed back to the house. Ready to start an insane week.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

"Since when do you pay attention to football?"

Sara was watching the Chargers falcons game while getting her hair and makeup done for the Lord Huron video shoot. Between dress rehearsal for the show, meetings with her management, small carpet appearances, she had no time to see Justin, only speaking with him on facetime. She wouldn't be seeing much of him this week either, since she would be flying back to New York for a few days to meet with her oldest sister Katia and her kids who would be in town. She also had runway training with Bella and her management. 

Also their management booked a photoshoot for  her and Bella at Vogue for the friendship series editorial set to be released in sprint 2023. This was an important shoot as it would be overseen by Anna Wintour herself.

She knew Justin was upset when she told him about the last minute travel plans. But he would be on the road as well. Next week he had a game against the 49ers. Joey and her had spoken about despite not playing he would be traveling with the team to see his brother Nick.

They did text back and forth about his new girl Kailey who according to him was super sweet. She was glad that it was working out for him so far.

She answered the hairstylist question. "Joe has been inviting me to games and I've been hooked ever since." The makeup artist, Anthony who was working on her face sighed. "Oh I love football players, have you seen their ass in those pants?"

Sara laughed, thinking of how many times she made Justin blush when she said her fantasy is to smack his ass in his uniform. "Oh don't think I haven't noticed."

"Girl if I were you I'd be trying to hook up with one of the players." Susie, the hairstylist stated. Sara laughed, the lie slipping off her lips easily. "Oh my god I wish! There is no way I could live the NFL life l would go crazy!"

"Girl I'm not saying marry one. Just fuck one of them!" Sara giggled. "Yeah I'm not really interested in any of them" the lie came too easily.

"Touchdown Chargers!" She couldn't look down at her phone cause Anthony was applying her eyeshadow.  "Well the game is tied right now. " He declared. 

Sara couldn't watch the rest of the game because she was called to set. The music video had a 1900s western theme. She was opposite Ben who was walking through the city while Sara was in a bar. The two sang about being in love with each other and forgetting their spouses.

They were filming at one of the campgrounds of the Joshua tree national park. Two hours from her normal area. She would be in a hotel for a few nights. Then on a plane to New York straight away

This shoot was complicated because everything needed to be filmed in the daylight, so they had to start as soon as the sun rose. Overall the first part took a whole day in itself. The director, a good friend of Ben's, was a perfectionist. It was good for Sara as he taught her stuff about being behind the scenes in the director's chair. However as an actor it was aggravating. If he didn't like the way Sara's hand laid on the bar it was a reshoot til it was deemed correct 

By the time she got out of her saloon girl outfit, ate something other than the snacks on set and washed her heavy makeup off and undid her hair, It was midnight and she saw that the Chargers won. Shooting Justin a text saying congrats and that she loved and missed him. She collapsed and fell asleep missing Justin's reply.

Thanks babe.

Love you.

#justin herbert #alexa writes collide #nfl imagine #sara and justin canon

[cozypancakes]

I hated the ending of the Night Agent, first of all it was kinda rushed and after everything I don't see Peter wanting to work with them anymore. Not after seeing how easily it was for them to make him a scapegoat and manipulate him. Also it contradicts the talk he had with Rose in the car where he wanted to go to California with her. I get that maybe after learning his dad became a double agent he felt he had to owe it to him to become one as well, but still. I like that Gabriel Basso was very adamant about portraying Peter reluctant in the final shot. The OG script was that Peter was initially smiling, but Gabe thought Peter would have this revelation that oh shit he's now into deep, this is actually bad why did I say yes. I hope this carries over in s2. I love Peter so much because he is real, he isn't Captain America or James Bond, he has real feelings. (Also side note Gabe was riding hard for Peter's injuries to stay throughout the show like his stitches getting ripped in ep10 that was such a nice detail). Idk how many seasons Netflix plans, now that the show is super well received and not too expensive to make, but I hope s2 is the last season. I want for Peter to get out of this and just live his life with Rose. I also hope Rose will still be part of s2, I would hate it if they gave Peter a new love interest.

As for Peter being cleared, I think and I don't know I could be wrong but Travers directly spoke to Rose about staying anonymous. I think they would at least clear Peter in the public (maybe not mentioning the whole Camp David ordeal). Plus I think Maddie would be very adamant about Peter being innocent, and with the the news coming out abou her own dad, the VP being involved I think even the conspiracy freaks have material for years to talk about. I guess they would also come to the conclusion that Peter wasn't involved due to the higher ups being the actual traitors. Idk I just think Rose wanted to stay out of this as much as possible but she would fight for Peter being redeemed in the eyes of the public. I mean she was very serious about that in ep7.

Firstly, I love the long anon message. Glad to see others have given this show just as much thought and time as I have.

I totally agree with you!! The ending did give me whiplash like, what happened to the dude that said "fuck no" to the idea of going back to being a night agent?? My theory is that the mission he was sent on is either directly related to his father's case or he's off finding Gordon Wick. I wouldn't put it past the White House to manipulate Peter into taking the Wick mission under the veiled threat that him and Rose would always be in danger as long as Wick is out there. And then we both know that Peter would do anything for the memory of his father.

Mmmm, okay, I totally buy your take on how things went down in the public eye. Makes sense that they'd clear his name but just keep his heroics under wraps. Let people think he was a random bystander that got blamed for stuff.

#the night agent #peter sutherland

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

Fucking finally! Do you know how fucking long I’ve been waiting for this? Since I saw a spoiler in September that told me who would be on Taskmaster season 15. And I lost my mind wanting to celebrate about it, and I couldn’t, because I wanted to be ethical and not draw further attention to leaked confidential information. Even though the leaked information didn’t come from that obscure a source and probably a lot of people already saw it and have been in the same boat as I was, anxiously waiting until they could talk about it the thing people already knew.

Anyway, I have spent nearly two months waiting for this, and now I can finally say:

- Obviously, top story is: Frankie Boyle!!! It’s not just that I really like him as a comedian. He is specifically someone I think will be so entertaining on Taskmaster. Specifically because he’s not remotely suited to the format. That’s why I want to watch him do it. I want to watch how much he’s able to stay “in character” in something like this, and what it looks like when he isn’t. I don’t know what sounds funnier to me – Frankie Boyle’s normal comedy persona playing Taskmaster, or Frankie Boyle having to stop being his normal comedy persona. They both sound great.

- After the season 14 lineup was announced in June, I made a list of the five people who’ve never done Taskmaster, and whom I’d most like to see do it someday. Frankie Boyle was number one on the list, for the above reasons. The other four, in an order I did not specify, were Sandi Toksvig, Andy Zaltzman, Adam Hills, and Richard Ayoade. What I did not mention in that post was that Mae Martin was very much number six. I spent some time looking at the screen and thinking about that, deciding which of my six choices to cut. I ended up cutting Mae Martin because the other five barely edged them out, but they were a close sixth.

Then, just last month, someone asked me who my dream Taskmaster lineup would be, so I gave five names that were not on the list I made in June: David O’Doherty, Huge Davies, Susan Calman, Chris Addison, and Josie Long. I really wanted to put Mae Martin on that list, but I felt weird doing so because I knew they were already cast on season 15, and I couldn’t say so, so I just left them out of contention. But they very much should have been there.

- Reasons for why I want Mae on there: I have a feeling they’re quite competitive, based on the way they talk sometimes in stand-up, but I’ve never seen them show that so far. I want to see if I’m right, and if I am I think it’ll be brilliant. I love their style of talking, going at a million words a minute and overexplaining themselves and falling over themselves to get everything right. I know that’s affected for stand-up to some extent (and for their sitcom, where they talk basically the same way), but it’s consistent with the way they talk in interviews too, and I think they’d bring it to Taskmaster. That sounds like so much fun.

Also, and this isn’t the primary reason want them there because I think they’d be fantastic no matter what, but it is a very cool thing: first openly trans Taskmaster contestant!

- Battle of Charlotte Ritchie’s husbands!

- I’ll be honest, I know almost nothing about Jenny Éclair, even though I should, because pioneer of women in comedy back when women in comedy were not so common and all. I watched a bit of her while downloading clips of all the contestants to make a video, though, and she seems quite funny.

- 18 months ago I properly disliked Ivo Graham. 12 months ago I could take or leave him. He’s grown on me since, for various reasons. Watching British as Folk was the main thing that pushed me into properly liking him. I still think he can be up and down, and he’s better when he’s not going on about the posh stuff and/or trying too hard to sound like James Acaster. I have a feeling Taskmaster might push me into really liking him, because all the things that have endeared Ivo Graham to me are things that I think make people amusing on Taskmaster. I’m picturing him being self-effacing and overthinking and hesitating, and possibly really bad at it, I think I’m just describing John Kearns. But caring a little more how he does than John Kearns.

- I’m almost sure this means we’re not back to more Canadians than Americans on the show – Katherine Ryan and Mae Martin versus Desiree Burch. We’re beating the Americans at something!

[cherryblossomsandhydrangeas]

Sk8 Rewatch Ep9

God I hope either the OVA or Season 2 gives us more Cherry and Joe backstory cause fuck do they deserve it.

Cherry, honestly, you have extended your hand to Adam far too many times. Honestly, what has he done for you other than take? You try and give your friendship, you try and give a helping hand, you try and give love, and you try and offer a chance to be better, but he won’t take it. It’s not your job to fix him, and at this point it’s hurting you more than you realize.

I wish Sk8 was longer cause we deserved more serious beefs for Joe, Cherry, Miya, and Shadow. Really amp them up to show why their the top skaters of the place.

I’m gonna start walking around S with a shirt that says “Reki Defense Squad” and a bat.

Reki: “Hey, LANGA!” (Now everyone at S knows ya’ll are gay.) [Who am I kidding? S is just a gay club with skateboarding.]

So, fun fact, steel beams can weigh over 1,000lbs even if it’s a small beam. Since it was being held up by a crane we can assume that the beam that Joe kicked was at least 4,000lbs. Muscle-bound God of Skateboarding indeed.

Ooof, Cherry knew Joe lost even before the race finished.

Adam: I can hear them now, the ringing of wedding bells! You’re about to hear my foot going up your ass.

Joe taking over for Oliver again. At this point, Nanako’s gonna be paying child support.

Oh, Reki, baby. 😢😢😢

Not gonna lie, when I first watched Sk8, I actually put a little hope into Adam, watching him lose his voice after he pulled Cherry’s card. His little “Oh” had me thinking he actually had a soul for a hot second.

The one outcome Joe didn’t want coming true. God can you imagine, even if he won against Langa, he’d still have had to watch Adam and Cherry’s beef?!

Cherry: I’ve been waiting for this day. Adam: I didn’t want to compete against you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you.

I do actually like that Joe can flirt with people he only probably expects a passionate one-night stand, or something of a short relationship from. But, when it’s someone he truly loves, he loses his voice and becomes flustered.

Adam: Hey, how long is this little skit of yours going to go on? It’s about time to start. Me: Aww, is someone jealous he gave up his only two friends and that they still find happiness in each other? Sounds like a you problem.

Joe: Be careful. He’s not the old Adam. Cherry: I don’t need you to tell me that. Oof the double meaning in that.

If you think Cherry not only dodging the Love Hug, but also skating a corner with his eyes closed isn’t cool only because Carla told him the angle, we can’t be friends and I’m gonna have to ask you to leave.

Ya’ll ever noticed Cherry talks to himself a lot?

I have so many words I have to say about Adam v. Cherry. Like. Sooooo many.

I wonder if these are his classmates or just random dudes he found. Like 3/4 are actually kinda cute, even though the two on the right look like total snobs.

Now, I’m 100% gonna make a separate post about Adam & Cherry, but for now, aren’t the red tiles on the ground sorta posed likes wings?

You can physically see Joe’s last shred of hope for Adam shriveling up and dying. Joe can tolerate a lot of shit, but he 100% has a line and it’s name is Sakurayakishi Kaoru.

I need those fucking contacts.

Reki, no, come back and take this pin right this second. 🥺

No, Tadashi, Adam being like this is not your fault. You’ve just been groomed to believe that any wrongdoing he does is on your shoulders.

Adam: You’re so naive, Cherry. Me: Damn, it’s almost as if he cares about you.

I like the way that Sk8 shows that Cherry’s current feelings for Adam aren’t romantic. When he gets hit, the image that shatters isn’t the one of the two of them looking into each other’s eyes or when Adam calls them special. It’s the one of him with Adam and Joe. The one of them laughing and being happy, something that he wishes that they all could have again.

I’m so gonna make a post on Adam’s boring comment. Like, how can I not? He’s so full of shit it’s actually insane. Like, I’m sorry you’re not letting yourself have fun.

On another note, I’m also gonna make a post on why I think Kaoru can’t go into the zone. And it’s not because of the way he skates either.

So am I supposed to believe the hospital didn’t call the cops when Kaoru escaped?

Love how it’s implied Joe drank that entire bottle of wine. Like, can you imagine how worried he was, head injuries are no joke.

Joe, sweetie, you need to tell him.

#sk8 cherry blossom #sk8 the infinity #sk8 #sk8 joe #sk8 ad*m #sk8 langa #sk8 nanako #sk8 reki #sk8 rewatch #sk8 shadow #sk8 tadashi #sk8 miya

[scariercnidaria]

not to be all like “people who say uncle is a bad show dont get it”, But. honestly? if you say something like that im going to assume that you gave up on it before you finished the first season. so like, spoilers all for the end of season 1 (and trigger warnings for suicide, substance abuse, overdose, cancer).

the show is about andy growing and becoming a better person and learning to take responsibility through his relationship his nephew errol. yes hes annoying and a scumbag and unlikeable at the start, but its not like hes Winning; the show literally opens with him about to kill himself.

there are a number of turning points throughout uncle. first of all his decision Not to cut the string and electrocute himself and instead pick up the phone when his sister (sam-- she is also strongly contending with val [and bruce] for my favourite character. shes divorced shes in rehab she loves facebook she has a pinterest board for her imaginary horse sanctuary she loves her son above everything. there are many characters that help to make uncle watchable [at least while andy is still a grade a prick] but genuinely sam and her unparalled older sister ability to tease andy and call him out on his shit) calls him. sam needs him to pick errol up from school and take him to football practise because her uni class has run late and errol is Very Neurodivergent (ocd in the show, i think he is also probably autistic. errol is also one of the best characters and written so well. never once did i think ‘this is a child actor’) and cant have his routine disrupted, and because it could blow her custody case.

so he picks up errol, because he does have Nothing Better Going On, and then continues to have him tag along on little schemes while babysitting or chaperoning him. which is a little bit irresponsible, sure, but errol grows to enjoy hanging out with andy through their combined interest in music and playing together in val’s battle of the bands (their band btw is called “the bear maximum”, based off of the cutest and most genuinely charming joke in the entire show, which was told by an 11 year old errol when andy suggested that he try telling a joke to impress a girl that he likes [”what’s the bare minimum? // one bear”]).

and for a while its all well and good, wacky hijinks following andys love life and errols social life, kids birthday parties, andys struggling music career; they continue to play together in a band and eventually the duo get noticed by a record label. andy, 3 weeks late on his rent, is thrilled and drags errol-- who is really into dental hygeine right now and made a laminated schedule of the weekend and just wants to get sushi and go to the planetarium-- along to the meeting, where its revealed that the label executive mo khan (kayvan novak) is actually only interested in errol. errol is adamant that he can explain the situation to andy, and mo khan gives him a tin of branded breath mints, but errol fails to do so before the record labels mixer party the next day.

at the party, mo khan separates errol and andy, taking errol to the vip room while an intern distracts andy outside to keep him from making a scene when he inevitably finds out. inevitably, he finds out, and makes a scene, leaving errol in the care of mo khan. mo has errol perform a song for the other vips and errol very enthusastically bangs out an utter tune he wrote about salmonella and e. coli and proper food safety, but the vips are bewildered. errol runs off and finds himself back in the executives office, and goes looking for more breathmints, at which point he find a load of little white breathmint sized pills in the desk and takes far too many.

its ecstasy.

andy punches mo khan in the face for laughing at errol having an overdose and errol is rushed to hospital. fucking thankfully he survives, but its going to blow sams custody case out of the water and errol very well could never see his mother again, and its at this point where it really stares you in the face that errol is a child, and he is to some extent reliant upon andy and all the other adults in his life, and that andy had better get his fucking act together like the rest of them or else hell just continue to hurt people.

this is followed, in typical andy fashion, by a dramatic gesture wherein he storms the custody hearing to take responsibility for his actions, proclaim that that sam doesnt deserve to be punished for believing that there would be no way that andy would be irresponsible enough to take a 12 year old to a party with drugs, and that its his fault for continuously bending over backwards to hit new lows, that its his fault, his fault alone, and that he swears never to go near errol ever again.

a restraining order is placed upon him at errols dads request, one which andy is happy to honour. errol is the one who fudges the bus times to go to andys flat in the year timeskip between the end of season 1 and the start of season 2 to play video games with him. and thats all they do; andy doesnt take him out anywhere, doesnt bring him on adventures. he gets a job at carpet brothers and he stops living excuse to excuse and he calms down. errol is the one who wants the restraining order lifted, because despite everything andy is the only one who really gets him. hes shared custody and he doesnt have any siblings, and he doesnt have any friends either besides bruce’s stepdaughter tiff, who he isnt the closest with and who also doesnt have any friends besides errol. errol is a fairly high-strung (in some ways very Grown Up Already) kid, but hes still a kid, and andy is the only person he can really be A Child around. this is in part because of andys childishness, but that means that andy is forced to grow in order to make way for someone elses needs now.

in episode 1, andy sarcastically suggests that errol “get some [whiskey] down ya”. by the end of the season 3, hes sober. he starts reading feminist literature (im pretty sure. its one moment and he . he joins sam at her NA meetings, and when now 15/16 year old errol, who is acting out and just got an illegal tattoo of sams name, asks him for a cigarette outside the hospital where sam has cancer he refuses and fights him to keep him away from it.

just, please give this show a chance. its got a lot of heart and a lot to say about family, and it doesnt all come from val.

#bbc uncle #suicide #substance abuse #drugs #overdose #cancer #long post