#and one of the suggestions was. if the raccoons crowd you. spray them in the butt with water.

[szethsmom]

God I hope I get the chance to spray raccoons with a hose

#THERE IS CONTEXT TO THIS I SWEAR #I toured a wildlife rehab facility today that I’m hoping to intern at #and they stressed the importance of keeping the animals wild so they can be re-released #meaning the animals should NOT be acclimated to or comfortable around humans #my impulse would ALWAYS be to talk soothingly and be quiet and gentle with them but that’s actually not a good thing in rehab #and one of the suggestions was. if the raccoons crowd you. spray them in the butt with water. #I’m sorry but that’s such a funny mental image to me #yes I am bringing you food but I am also the big scary thing with the hose. get away from me. I love you. #(obviously this is referring to when you need to enter the cages of healthy animals. they certainly weren’t advocating general terrorization #vin screams into the void

[leggomylino]

Vibe So Hot | Han Jisung

Genre: Fluff, Comedy

Pairing: Han Jisung x fem!reader

AU: neighbor au, prank war au

Word Count: ~11.7k

Warning(s): mild language (censored)

A/N: inspired by the song “Vibe So Hot,” Priscilla Ahn

ღ Stray Kids M.List | M.List ღ

-〤〤〤-

There were times when you weren’t really sure about Han Jisung. 

The day you moved from your parent’s house into your new home, life was a dream. A delight. A living fantasy. You and your closest friend of twenty-odd years had been visualizing it for ages- a home for just the two of you, where you could make and break all the rules you wanted, eat dinner out of the cookie jar, throw paint and crayon all over the walls, and dump all the grease, homework, and leftover brussel sprouts down the garbage disposal that you wanted. It would be your kingdom with the two of you at equal pedestal on the throne, and no one could say or do anything about it.

While your visuals and ideals did change over time, what with hormones and taxes and a general understanding of how the world worked, you and F/n never stopped dreaming of the day you each held one half of the kingdom between your fingers. One half of freedom. It was a blissful, beautiful Tuesday morning. Exactly five months ago. Birds chirping in the small tulip trees. The sweet spring breeze ruffling the surrounding azaleas. The simple but water-efficient sprinkler system the two of you had worked a summer job to afford that was...spraying…...coke… 

...Yes, it had been a beautiful Tuesday morning. And also the arrival of hell next door.

“HAN JISUNG!” you yelled, banging on your neighbor’s front door. “Han Jisung, I know you’re home!” You stamped your foot. “Open this door right now!”

It was now five months later. Five months since you’d moved into your dream home, something small and sweet and affordable that you and your friend worked hard for years to achieve. Just something small to start the two of you out, while you finished up school and figured out what the heck the two of you wanted to do with the rest of your lives. 

It had easily become five months of back-and-forth hell. “HAN JISUNG!!!”

Click. The door slowly creaked open. It was dark inside, far too dark for 2 pm, like something out of a horror movie.

Oh, but you weren’t falling for another one of his tricks. Not this time. “Han Jisung, I know you’re there…” You called...weakly. “C-Come out this instant. I know it was you who stuffed cereal into the birdfeeder and left glue on the door handles. I was almost late for work this morning and F/n is stuck on the back porch.”

There was no response. You agitatedly sighed, running a hand through your hair and taking a handful of strands with you thanks to the faint remainder of krazy glue that simply wouldn’t come off.

“Han,” you called, poking your head inside. “Han? Han Jisun-”

The moment you stepped inside, a loud whrr! resounded, your body hoisting upwards. You spun around in the flimsily thin netting, falling into a fetal position backwards.

Han and a few of his cronies came out cackling at your expense, watching you gently spin and sway in their ridiculous trap. “I caught Y/n!” one of them cheered. “That’s 1,000 points.”

Another scoffed. “You didn’t do anything,” he said, blowing long blonde locks out of his face. “The points go to me for setting up the...project.”

“Shouldn’t they go to Han?” Yet another asked. “It’s his house.”

You rolled your eyes, attempting to adjust. Han tromped over proudly and swung his arm around the boy. “Exactly!” he cheered, pinching his cheek. “I’m glad you see it my way.”

The kid squinted his fox-like features in disgust, shoving the ringleader away from him. Han merely laughed, smirking up at you next. He sent a flirtatious wink your way. You scoffed.

“S’up, gorgeous?”

“Drop dead.”

“Ouch,” he playfully winced, pretending to take literal damage. “Didn’t like the glue, or the cereal? I told Hyunjin no one wanted his bland raisin garbage. But,” He shrugged. “He insisted it was good for the birds. The raisins, anyway-”

“Screw you,” Goldilocks groaned. “Shove off, I never said I ate the stuff. I just said it was better than wasting Lucky Charms or something actually good.”

“...Yeah, so there’s that.” He spared a passing eye roll before putting back on his deceitfully charming smile. Disgusting. “What brought you to swing by? Just dropping in?”

The other boys laughed again, causing you to turn an annoying shade of pinkish-red, some cross between coral and rouge. “I don’t have to tell you anything!” you snapped in your anger.

Unfortunately, Han Jisung needed to know the facts. “Then...how am I supposed to help you? Oh, oh! Hold on a minute.” He simpered. “Are you maybe trying to tell me that you came by unannounced because...you wanted to get caught up in my web?”

Han’s crew all made catcalls and whistles along with nervous smiles and suggestive expressions. The nerve of him. You fought yourself into an upright position, clawing angrily at the seams. “I meant you already know what you did wrong! Get me out of this stupid thing and get over to my house so you can fix it.”

“Oooo,” A freckled-faced boy you recognized as Felix cooed. He’d often been a leading officer in many of Han’s classic pranks and schemes. “I think she wants you bro.”

The heat on your face was intensifying, whether from rage or embarrassment, you didn’t care. Your prison shook. “That’s not what I-”

“Well then,” Han (classically) interrupted. “Guess I better get over there and fix it.” He wiggled his eyebrows in a salacious manner, padding around the clamour of boys and taking the stairs three at a time like a gazelle. When he reached the top, he revealed a rope from around the corner, lowering you gently...at first.

After three careful tugs, he dropped the rope entirely. Your eyes went wide, screaming as you fell--

...Right into Han Jisung’s arms. The boy glided down the stair rail and caught you at the last possible second. “Plenty of time to spare,” he insisted, showing you his teeth.

You slapped them away, wrestling your way back to your feet. “...You’re such an asshole, Han Jisung,” You dusted yourself off, smoothing out your attire single handedly. “I--”

...You yanked your hand down. Away from his face. Hard. Harder.

It was stuck. Your hand was stuck to his cheek. Krazy glue.

“OW! Ow ow ow okay! That hurts! Sh*t!” He cursed. You rolled your eyes, kicking his leg. 

“That’s what you get for gluing my door! Now come on!”

To make things less awkward, you gripped his left ear, yanking him like a mother would a misbehaving child. The others crowded around and followed, laughing as—

The door slammed in their face. “OW!” You heard Hyunjin yelp. His watered-down image through the distorted window showed him covering his nose, the other two goons frantically asking if he was okay.

...Well, Felix did, anyway. Fox-face merely stared and shook his head a little. “Let’s go. You’re cleaning the glue off both doors and changing out the birdfeeder. If you screw it up, you’re buying me a new one.” A harsh gaze fell over your shoulder. “After you unstick F/n!”

Han grunted, his groans and whines a feeble echo of white noise along with the ridiculous passes he occasionally made on the way over.

-〤〤〤-

After spending an hour and a half watching Han unstick glue from around your house (after unsticking your hand from his face) and taking a trip down to the hardware store for a new birdfeeder that 100% came out of his pocket, you sighed, trudging yourself through the front door and collapsing onto the nearest sofa by a front-facing window. You leered, observing Han shuffle up his own walkway and exchange harsh words with his friends before they all piled inside.

That bastard. He was always coming after you, ever since you first moved into the neighborhood. After the first week of assaults (from moving day) you’d asked the other neighbors if any of them had any bad experiences from house 117, but they all gave a generally same response: “Who, Han Jisung? Oh, heavens no! He’s such a nice boy! A little quirky, sure, but such a nice boy! ...Are you sure it wasn’t a raccoon or a stray cat?”

Heh, yeah. Like a stray cat was capable of impersonating your friend to have the locks on your house changed. Didn’t they have to do security checks for that stuff?!

Speaking of locks, the sound of keys ricocheted from your left, and you turned your head to see F/n enter...very strangely. They looked spooked, their eyes wide as they turned their head this way and that, creeping into the house like an Egyptian wall painting.

“Is the cost clear?” they asked. “Is he gone? Nothing’s missing? Nothing’s amiss?”

“Relax, F/n,” you said, scratching your head. You desperately needed a shower, but that had been rather hard with the pipes spewing nothing but Mr. Pibb for the past three days. It’d apparently be a fourth until they cleared out. “The menace is gone, back to his evil layer. I made sure he cleaned up his mess and got him to replace your grandmother’s birdfeeder.”

F/n scowled, back to normal as they tromped into the room, throwing their bags down. “She made that birdfeeder from scratch, Y/n. With her own two arthritis riddled hands, that birdfeeder may as well have been an ancient relic. It was one of a kind.”

“I know, I know,” you insisted, peacefully trying to calm them down. “Just relax. I got it under control and taken care of.”

“You said that last time. Now look at the place.”

You looked around. “...It looks spotless. Han actually did a really nice job with that extra work he put in.”

“Well it wasn’t before! ...Wait, you let him into the house?!”

Whoops. “Only to do some extra chores. To make up for outside. And many other times he’s screwed us over.”

Your friend grabbed the sides of their hair, practically seething. They regarded you like you’d gone insane, and they were just on the brink. “Y/n have you lost your mind? Are you stupid? I thought you were smart! What was that 3.5 GPA for?!”

“Hey, GPA isn’t everything. It’s just a matter of getting on a teacher’s good side and paying attention. Also, I’m aware that...that may have not been the best move. But it’s fine!” you insisted, now following your friend into the kitchen. “I was watching him the whole time. He didn’t leave my line of sight once!”

F/n opened the fridge, glaring perplexedly. “...Not once?”

“......” 

You thought. Oh wait...well…

You smiled sheepishly. “...Actually...ahaha...he may have asked to go to the bathroom once…”

F/n’s jaw dropped. “And you let him?!”

Your hands found their way into the air. “What was I supposed to do, F/n? Follow him into the bathroom? That’s creepy and gross and uncalled for.”

Your friend grabbed a beer from the fridge, slamming the door shut after. “No, Y/n. You tell him to go next door and use his bathroom.”

“But what if it was an emergency?”

“I think he can hold it.”

“But what if he couldn’t?”

They paused just beside you, giving you a harsh glare. “After all he’s done? I’d say that’s a real shame and another mess he’d have to clean up.”

“F/n--!”

“NO, Y/N,” Your friend of twenty-odd years turned to you, making it halfway back to the front door. “You don’t get it! It has been five years--”

“Five months.”

“...It has felt like I have had my guard up for five years. I can’t relax in my own home. I can’t relax at work, I can’t relax at school-- I can’t relax anywhere!” They polished off the beer, crumbling the can and tossing it aimlessly into the kitchen. You ducked, the can soaring over your left ear and colliding with a kitchen cabinet. “URGH!”

They grabbed their bags, beginning to march out. You were faster, sliding on sock-clad feet across Han-polished floors to beat them to it, blocking the exit. “F/n, listen. Please. I agree it’s bad, but I think you’re overreacting just a little.”

“Overreacting?! …” S/he crossed his/her arms, glaring at you skeptically and in disbelief. “Okay, fine. Which bathroom did he use?”

“Huh?”

“Which bathroom?”

You swallowed, thinking again. “...Uh...the upstairs one.”

F/n deadpanned. Cold and hard. “Great. Thank you for that. All my school supplies are up there. My office and workspace is up there. That’s where I sleep, Y/n.” You blinked. 

“You sleep in your office?”

“URGH!”

They pushed you aside, storming into the wide, open world. Hysterically you followed, snagging your keys off the side table by the front door and making sure to lock up behind you. “F/n- ...F/n wait…! Ah, stupid locks…!”

“Don’t follow me, Y/n!”

“WAIT!”

“I SAID DON’T FOLLOW ME!”

From the corner of your eye, a silhouette of dark brown hair and overly-white teeth made its way toward your property line. “Hello F/n, Y/n.” The careful fall breeze blew the shade from his eyes, where evil and mischief still resided. “Having a little back and forth banter, are we? A disagreement, perhaps?”

Han-bleeping-Jisung. Your vision narrowed, a scowl aimed directly at him. When he was around, it’s all you could focus on. Your senses heightened, and not in a good way. He couldn’t be trusted.

You shouldn’t have let him into your house. Your sensors were picking up on something. He seemed too happy for someone that was just forced into doing chores in a house that wasn’t their own. And willing so…

A hot vibe was residing along the back of your neck, between your shoulder blades. A sinking, sensationally bad feeling. “What can we help you with, Han?”

“Oh,” he piped, brows raised. “We’re on a single name basis now. That’s rare.”

F/n cast him a dark look and continued down the sidewalk to their car. You sighed, trying to relax and having little success; F/n was right, it was hard to remain calm with a hellion next door. “What do you need?”

Han Jisung shoved his hands in his pockets. “Need is a strong word. I need a lot of things. Food, water, air--”

A groan escaped your lips. “Fine. Forgive me. What do you want?”

“Hmmm…” He smirked, listing his head. “I want a lot of things, princess. Depends what you’re referring to.”

You’re pretty sure you could hear the gag coming from F/n’s car as they started the engine, shifting into reverse. Han chuckled, letting you know he heard it too.

“Alright, fine.” He held his hands up in surrender. “You caught me. I came to warn you.”

“Warn me about what?”

“......” He pursed his lips. “...I may have gotten a bit carried away and...well, I couldn’t resist, really. But I was thinking and, maybe it was in bad taste. Since Hyunjin did break your grandmother’s bird-thing.”

A rustling came from the bushes. “That wasn’t me! That was you!”

Han cringed, turning over his right shoulder. “Shhh!”

You faltered, zoning in on Han’s shrubbery. “Who is that? Is that Hyunjin hiding in your flowers?”

Han rolled his eyes, tossing...some junk from his pockets. A coin or something. “I told you not to say a word!” 

Blonde hair revealed itself from the viburnum bushes on Han’s property. “Cattywampus.”

“I SAID TO SHHH!”

Hyunjin scoffed. “Oh, so when we’re playing Scrabble, it’s not a word. But now that we’re probing Y/n for information, all of a sudden, it’s a word!” 

The air left your lungs, quite dramatically, and you took a step back farther into the safety of your porch. “...What is he talking about? What information?”

Tensions spiked like never before. Han simply groaned. “Dammit...thanks a lot, Hyunjin.” He turned to you with a sour face. “Yeah, okay, whatever, just...I wanted to know when your birthday was.”

He shrugged, trying to pull off the most innocent, blow-it-off look possible. You weren’t buying it. “What were you saying before? What did you do to my house?”

“Oh yeah,” He clasped his hands behind his back, sending another classic trademarked wink your way. Hyunjin freed himself from the viburnum flowers, along with Fox-face, who’d gotten himself tangled up in the next-door rose bush; he tripped over an illy placed hoolahoop and ran into Hyunjin, the two of them taking turns removing literal thorns from their sides. “I left you a present inside.”

I left you a present inside.

I left you a present inside.

He left you a present inside your house. A surprise. A bad one. You had invited him into your living space, your relaxation hub where relaxation was scarce, and gave him just enough alone time to leave something behind.

Something terrible. Something rotten.

Han Jisung was no longer looking like Han Jisung to you; what you saw before you was his true form: a plotting, overzealous, sadistic little impish demon of a man, no...a demon pretending to be a man. Someone like Han Jisung couldn’t possibly be human. There was no love at all in his heart.

“F/N!” You yelled, chasing after them as they drove down the street. “F/N, WAIT! STOP THE CAR! PLEASE!!!”

You could feel Han Jisung’s eyes as he trailed you all the way down Maple Street, his friends watching as F/n hit the brakes a hundred feet shy of the stop sign and let you clamber in the back. 

“Step on it.”

S/he nodded, slamming the accelerator and getting the two of you safely out of Dodge. “I’m going to a friend’s house. I have to return a few things I borrowed before Han Hellion ruins them,” They looked over their shoulder. “Where are you headed?”

Your eyes glared proudly through the rearview mirror. F/n drew back, nervously looking between you and the road unassured.

But there was nothing for it. They could yell and pitch a fit at you later. Today, this very moment, everything was going to end.

“The craft store,” you said. “And you’re coming with me.”

“What?”

“We’re taking our house back.”

“......”

The car rolled to a stop at the cross section of Water and Runway Boulevard. If it was the friend you were thinking of, F/n would have to make a right here. Your local craft store was the opposite direction.

With a unanimous nod through the rearview, the two of you made a left down Water Street.

-〤〤〤-

Hobby Lobby had to be your favorite store, next to Fye’s Music Records where you occasionally went for your music collection and your favorite restaurant. ...Though a store wasn’t really a restaurant, and vice-versa.

You and F/n scoured the many aisles of arts and crafts, decor and gifts, candles and knick-knacks, searching high and low for everything on a messy-scribbled list the two of you put together in the parking lot. Revenge was going to be so sweet. Total bliss.

“Buckets?” A young employee repeated back to you. “Yes, let’s see, they should be near the back of the store, on the right-hand side. If you pass the glitter and pipecleaners, you’ve gone too far. I believe they’re on Aisle 13.”

“Thanks,” F/n said, grabbing your wrist and dragging you behind them. They almost seemed more excited about this whole revenge-war than you did. “Aisle 10...Aisle 11...Aisle--”

S/he stopped, pale-stricken. “What is it?” You tried peering around the corner. “What’s wrong? Are they sold out or somethi--”

Your heart nearly stopped. There, in the middle of the aisle, stood Lee Felix, perusing a wide selection of glitter glue. A bucket (not a basket) hung from slack fingers, carrying a barrage of other craft equipment as well as a plastic bag from the Home Depot next door.

Some kind of rage was flooding through your system. You could sense it in F/n as well. The two of you were in sync, fed up with the Hellion Clan’s crazy antics and batsh*t ideas that only brought you pain and suffering. Enough was enough.

You practically shoved your friend aside. “LEE FELIX!”

Felix jumped, startled, frantic, eyes zooming in on you like a deer in headlights.

Then, unlike a deer in headlights, he ran.

“AFTER HIM!” F/n cried, shoving the list in their pocket. S/he ran farther towards the front of the store to block the entrance, while you followed in hot pursuit of the freckled boy’s trail.

Your phone buzzed as you ran, and without taking your eyes off your target you shuffled it out of your purse, slamming the receive button a little too hard. “What?!”

“He’s going towards the back of the store! He’s heading for the emergency exit!”

You gave a quizzical look toward your friend’s voice coming out of your phone, then back at your target’s backside. “What? How do you know that? Where are you?!”

“Look up. Aisle 1. Holiday crafts.”

Carefully your eyes scanned the tops of the shelves near the entrance, and after doing a double take on a statue you found F/n squatting among some Santa Claus and Christmas angels, a pair of high-grade binoculars in their mits.

You had no idea when they’d gotten those. “Where did you get those from?! How the heck did you get up there?”

“That’s not important right now! Just SEIZE HIM! He’s getting away, run faster!”

With an aggravated grunt you hung up, shoving your phone away and pushing your legs to hit the tile twice as hard. Some twenty feet in front of you Felix squeaked, making a surprise turn down Aisle 2 and knocking over a stack of decorative boxes. You cursed, calling forth your skills from high school gym to hurdle yourself over the monstrosity and skid to a temporary halt before barreling down the half-storage half-Christmas decor aisle. 

“He’s getting away!” F/n yelled. “Move!!!”

“Why don’t you help me?!” You called back. Felix made a 90 degree turn, charging farther back into the store in the opposite way you were anticipating; unless…  

A store manager suddenly appeared at the end of the aisle, holding her hand out to stop you. “Excuse me, I don’t think so; there’s no horseplay allowed in the store.”

Though she tried to grab you, you dodged like a badass, perrying right, then left, then spiraling after a mop of retreating orange hair down Aisle 7. “Can’t! Sorry! I’ll pay for this later!”

“I’m sorry?!”

“Hold that thought!”

The sound of static and muffled voices crackled behind you as the manager called for backup, but you didn’t care. This would all be over once the little coral pipsqueak was in your grasp; you’d make sure to make him sing everything that was going on.

“LEE FELIIIIIX!”

Somewhere on the opposite side Felix squealed, either running into something or barricading another path to ensure his freedom. You slid to another halt, straining your ears to pick up on the sound.

Maybe you could sneak up on him. You were getting pretty tired, and running all over the store wasn’t a very good strategy for either side. Tiptoeing down Aisle 6, buttons and sewing equipment, you held your breath, carefully peering down both directions of the aisle.

Empty, minus a mom and her kid. You dropped down on all fours, crawling to the next aisle-- except--

“Ow!” you hissed, pricking yourself on something sharp. It was a discarded sewing needle.

It gave you an idea. After sucking on the injury a moment, you snagged the discarded object, pinning it to the side of your bag. 

You hopped to your feet and gathered the strongest thread and yarn you could. After diving into a pile of fabrics when a few security guards walked by, you got back to work setting up your ingenious idea. A little thread here. Some fabric there. A weight right here…

You quickly sewed (loosely) a few strips of fabric together, finally finishing your creation. “Sorry, this aisle is closed right now,” you said to a few customers, spreading slime over each end of the hall. It was showtime. “I’m ready,” you told F/n, uttering the words through your phone.

F/n had done well to keep their disguise as an oddly-put Santa, peering through their binoculars when no one was looking. “Okay. I sort of lost him after the cops started lurking by here. Let’s see…”

Another curse left your lips. “He didn’t leave, did he?”

“No, I didn’t hear the doors open or close. He’s gotta still be here somewhere…..aha!” Their cry made you jump. “Found him!”

“Where?!”

“Opposite side. Aisle 18. He’s hiding around the picture frames.”

“Dang it,” you groaned, “I need him over here!” You looked around hesitantly. “Can you get him over to this side? I’m on Aisle 7. Additional Sewing and Craft Supplies. Fabrics, yarn, etc.”

“I’m scared to leave my post, but…” F/n sighed. “...I guess if you have a plan, I can chase him that way.”

“Great, okay. Hurry.”

“Roger.”

You hung up, taking another deep breath. Waiting. Ducking when the cops circled back around.

Suddenly, you heard a familiar battle cry from the other side of the store, followed by a man’s scream. The security guards and management started racing that way, but by the time they’d get there the source would be long gone…

Because he was headed straight for your trap. You scaled to the top of the aisle, keeping low with a blanket of fabric over your head as you watched Lee Felix weave in and out of craft stands and passing customers, buzzing toward Aisle 7 like a bee to a honey hive.

“RwARGH!” F/n cried, their Santa disguise flying with a full-powered shove. Felix went plunging for the nearest aisle, your aisle, and the moment his sneakers hit Elmer’s Color Slime Kit, he slipped, spinning out of control right into the giant DIY net you created. Yes! Score!

“HIYAH!” You screamed, jumping off the aisle shelf and tackling him. Gave over. You’d won. 

Felix squirmed and fought with all the strength he had left in him, his abs, his arms, his quads, but alas, twice his body weight from you and your friend combined was more than enough to stop him. He gave out with a long sigh just as an employee rounded the corner, crying for assistance.

You were out of time. Tying his hands behind his back and bundling the rest of the fabric around him, your friend threw a couple twenties from their pocket at the young man before the two of you slipped out the emergency exit.

“You’re going to tell us everything!” You demanded, carrying his torso. Felix scowled, rolling his eyes. Despite his obvious anger, he was sweating bullets and looked rather afraid. 

“I’m not telling you anything. You made me drop my stuff.”

“You can go back for it later. F/n, open the door.”

F/n shook their head, placing your captive’s feet down and unlocking the back of their car. “Nuh-uh. He’s riding back here.”

“In the trunk?!” The boy cried.

“In the trunk.”

F/n was dead serious. You stifled a laugh, even if it was kind of mean. Felix whined and bowed his head as the two of you placed him inside, F/n smacking a bow on his head that’d stuck to them during the chase.

“Okay. Let’s get out of here.”

The two of you slammed the door shut.

-〤〤〤-

The moment light hit your captive’s eyes, he squinted, groaning from the bumpy ride (as F/n insisted on hitting every speed bump and pothole). Lifting the boy on the count of three, he made sure to cry out for help- “HAN!!! HYUNJIN!!! JEONGIN!!! I’M OVER HERE!!!”- but, as it was expected, F/n simply dropped the boy on the driveway and threatened to stomp over a...delicate area...before smirking at his wide-eyed response and stuffing the bow in his mouth.

“Um, F/n…” You muttered, hoisting your prize up the porch steps, “don’t you think maybe you’re being too-”

“Don’t,” they warned, casting you a glare. “I’m not being too anything. These jerks deserve way worse.” They shifted Felix’s weight in order to allow you room to open the door. “Besides, it’s not like we’re gonna torture him or anything. Just ask a few questions.”

Felix gave a sigh of relief.

“...We can figure out what to do with him after that.”

...He took a sharp breath, beginning to sweat.

Inside the house the two of you tossed Felix onto the couch, running around the lower level to gather equipment before shifting him to a dining room chair. You were adjusting his bindings when the phone rang, F/n scampering off to answer it after sharing a look.

They smirked at the familiar caller I.D. “Y/n and F/n residence,” S/he answered in an overly-pleasant tone. “How may I help you?” Quickly they pulled the phone away, placing it down on speaker. The two of you, and Felix, glared at the voice coming out from the other side.

“We know you have him,” Han’s voice echoed throughout the living room. He sounded serious, demanding almost, sending a shiver down your spine. That was new. “What do you want?”

“Oh, what do we want?” F/n asked. They scoffed, peering out the blinds on the opposite side of the fireplace, just next to the kitchen. Directly at Han’s estate. “That’s something you don’t hear everyday.”

Han huffed, sounding disgusted. Suddenly, Felix erupted, spitting out the bow you’d forgotten to secure. “HAN! HAN I’M OKAY!!! BUT I LOST THE STUFF AT--”

Frantically you pounced, stuffing a fistful of Kleenex in his mouth. A chorus of anxious whispers filled the other line from Jisung and his goons, before Han silenced them and got back to business.

“Felix, if you can hear me, it’s okay. I need you to take one for the team right now until I come up with something.”

Ironically and unneeded, Felix nodded, as if Han could see him. You and F/n rolled your eyes. 

Suddenly, a loud splat! sent them squealing backwards. 

Your jaw dropped, watching rotten egg dribble and creep down your immaculately-just-cleaned window. Felix chuckled, falling on a sour note after you elbowed him. When two more assaults hit, you ducked for unnecessary cover behind Felix, F/n plastering themselves against the fireplace. 

“What do we do?!” you whispered, cringing every time an egg bomb made contact with the glass. What if by some crazy law of nature those things actually broke the window and leaked into the house?! It could take days to get the smell out. Heck, given that it was right next to the fireplace, and you had yet to test the installation of the seams...it’d likely start leaking into the house within the coming hours.

The pelts were slowly getting louder, rising in a horrifically drawn-out crescendo. “GIVE HIM BACK! GIVE HIM BACK!” you heard the goons chanting.

Were they on the roof?! You couldn’t bear this much longer. Your house was being eggified. Sullied. Disgraced. Finally cracking under the pressure, you flew some hand signals F/n’s direction that didn’t really mean anything and army-crawled to a yet-to-be-ambushed window, examining the battle situation outside before rolling back to your feet and sprinting for a backroom.

“Where are you going?!” F/n whispered harshly. S/he and Han bantered back and forth a bit, his demands of Felix’s release rattling the warfront before you returned with exactly what you’d been looking for: a megaphone. Ah, camp counselor days.

F/n saw what you were doing and instantly, wildly, vehemently shook their head no. But you were taking matters into your own hands now. 

“Han Jisung,” you stated, loudly enough so your voice could travel over the massive egg-pelting outside. “Hold your fire and I’ll bring Felix outside.”

You waited a few seconds, and the firing stopped. Han’s voice practically purred over the speaker. Very disgusting. “You’re starting to see things my way. That’s good.”

“Oh yes. I’m most certainly starting to see things your way.” The phone lifted between your fingers. “We’ll meet on the roofs in five minutes. If I hear or see one more egg on my property, the meeting is off.”

“......” There was an uncomfortable silence on the other line. 

You tilted your head. “Han Jisung? No deal?”

Felix whined a few feet behind you. Han sighed, clearly hearing it. “...Fine. We’ll meet you there.” Click.

You tossed the phone to F/n, who scarcely caught it, juggling it a few times on nervous butterfingers. “Alright, look,” s/he said, pacing across the room and slamming it down on the receiver. “I don’t know what kind of cockameme scheme you have planned, but…”

You smiled. “Don’t worry. I know what I’m doing.”

They sighed exasperatingly. “I’m sure you told yourself that when you let him into the house earlier, too.”

“......” You faltered, crossing your arms. “Touche. But this time, I really know what I’m doing.” With the utmost confidence and summoned strength you tilted Felix’s chair back, causing him to panic. “C’mon. Help me get this up through the attic.”

-〤〤〤-

Glitter glue. Hair dye. A bucket.

Truth be told, you actually did manage to go back and secure Felix’s belongings. It was around some point during the creation of the gigantic net at Hobby Lobby: F/n had seen them while running around, snagged it, and stashed the goods in the car without telling you. 

Now, you were going to use them against the enemy. If only you knew what the wrench from Home Depot was for… “Okay, listen up,” you stated, standing proudly on your roof. F/n stood at your side, Felix in between you two, still strapped to the dining room chair. Though the Kleenex were now gone, his pie hole remained shut...with Puffs. Not the good brand, F/n had said. “We have your friend, and as you can clearly see, he’s fine. We haven’t done anything to him.”

“Yet,” Hyunjin sneered, standing atop Han’s roof. He crossed his arms at Han’s right, Fox-face (Jeongin) on the left. “I fail to see how tying him up and stuffing his mouth shut equates to not doing anything.”

“Hyunjin, enough big words,” Han moaned. “We get it, you’re good at Scrabble, and you should have won. Lay off already.”

Hyunjin growled, making a face. From the opposing roof, you lowered your mic, extending your hand left. F/n glanced sideways, placing the box of hair dye in your hand. The situation on the other side swiftly grew stiff, everyone’s eyes watching you expectantly.

“Y-Y/n...what are you doing?”

It came out as more of a statement than a question. A fretful smirk played on the corner of your lips. “Oh my, what am I doing? …”

Yours fingers got right to work tearing open the packaging. Felix turned his head as far as his binding would let him, his eyes widening and brows sinking beneath his coral-colored bangs the moment he recognized the object...and the word permanent etched within a warning sign. “Mmm! Mm-mm mmm! MMM!”

“Wait, Y/n,” F/n said, reaching out. They suddenly looked hesitant, unsure. “We never questioned him first. Shouldn’t we…”

You paused, tossing the box and plastic wrap over your shoulder. With any luck, it’d blow into Han Jisung’s yard; if not, you could just pick it up later. “What, now you’re getting cold feet?” You huffed. “You’re the one that was getting carried away before. I thought you were sick of all this crap.”

“I am...I am. I’m just saying, maybe we should have pressed him for answers before running up here.”

“After they started egging our house?! What, was I supposed to wait for toilet paper to fly through the trees and spray paint to stain our front door?!”

“No, I’m just saying—”

“I’m done talking!” Your eyes narrowed, focusing on Han’s. He was staring right back at you, an intense look residing. “I want revenge. I want action. This ends today.”

You popped the cap off the bottle of murky green liquid, Hyunjin and Jeongin both seeming to lose their posture as the cap flipped through the air, bouncing to the ground below. They started to squirm, much to your delight; though perhaps a little overdramatic; but it was about time the other side felt the same pain and turmoil you had. It’d been far too long an unjust imbalance.

But Han held his hands at peace, calming his soldiers and taking a step forward; sending the imbalance back where it was, in his favor. He cupped his hands around that loud mouth of his. “Y/n!!! Listen to me, you don’t wanna do this! ...I-I don’t think, anyway!”

He seemed nervous. Flustered. You actually had Han Jisung, Hellion of 117 Maple Street, in a nervous fluster. 

The moment was sweet, rich, decadent and savory. In the air, a cool breeze blew by. 

“I’m sorry? What was that?” You lifted the bottle over Felix’s head. His whole body tensed, slightly leaning away like a magnet that didn’t attract. 

Han bit his lip, gaze flitting between your hand and the boy below. Behind him, Hyunjin and Jeongin watched with battered breath, biting their nails and covering the lower half of their faces. Han sighed, suddenly waving his hand behind him. “Jeongin, you shouldn’t see this. Cover your eyes. I don’t know if I can stop her.”

The boy frowned, shakily turning from Han’s voice back to you. “I-I can’t, Han...it’s too horrible, but I can’t look away.”

“Then get back inside. I’m sure Y/n will at least allow that much.”

Raising his brow at you in question, you carefully gave a single nod, watching the young fox-face go. Jeongin had never done anything to you, except for maybe participate in the egg-throwing debacle eight minutes ago. Otherwise, as far as you could tell, he was clean, just a bystander in Han’s antics.

As the roof door shut above Jeongin’s head, F/n gave you a worried look. “Y/n…” s/he said, turning to you sideways. “...Something’s not—”

“Shhh!” You spat. Your hand holding the bottle teetered towards a horizontal slant. “Not now. This makes things easier. One less groupie to worry about.”

“But Y/n—”

Felix could practically sense your movements, starting to squeal. “HAN! Please! I have an interview tomorrow and I don’t think they allow unnatural hair!!!”

F/n grunted, crossing their arms at being ignored. You listed your head to match the angle of the bottle. Revenge was so sweet. “Well, Han?”

It felt like an eternity went by. Everything was still, calm, the only noise to be heard the rustling of the trees. A distant clicking that was probably just the other neighbor’s cat. You felt like you were in a Shonen anime, where the characters face off for episodes at a time with nothing but empty heated stares and uselessly repeated banter (usually flashbacks).

“......” Han Jisung swallowed. “Okay, Y/n, stop.” He sighed. “...You win.”

A heaviness released from your chest. You...won? That was it? Was he really just surrendering right now? No surprise counterattack? No negotiations?

Instead, Han Jisung and his last remaining sidekick glared pitifully in your direction, like all hope had fleeted from their grasp. Meaning… 

You won. You actually won... 

The biggest smile took over the lower half of your face, so happy you could have cheered, overjoyedly so, kissing your friend’s cheek. You squealed in delight, tossing the bottle in the air and not really caring where it landed, so excited, so stoked, so—

“Ow!” a young man’s voice said.

Gasp. What was that?! That didn’t sound like Felix or...your friend...that was...wasn’t...

“Y/n!!!”

You whirled around, just in time to see Jeongin standing at the height of your roof, stuffing your friend down the ladder. He paused, similar to how Felix had in Hobby Lobby; that deer in the headlights look; and with terrified effort kicked F/n down the attic, hopping in and letting the door drop after him. 

Laughter could be heard bellowing along the wind, a hurricane billowing your direction. You whirled around, flabbergasted, horrified to see Han Jisung with that coy smirk on his face, that evil glint in his eye, the long-legged Hyunjin doing a memey sort of dance, as the two of them laughing it up at your expense. Even Felix, still bound to the chair, was…

...Well, actually, he looked rather annoyed and a little pissed. “HEY!” he griped, stamping his feet. “What happened to releasing me first?! I thought that was part of the plan!”

Plan…? …… 

“You mean…” You glared expressionless. “This was all setup...from the beginning? Even Hobby Lobby?”

“Duh,” Hyunjin piped, giving you an incredulous look. “We saw you and F/n heading that way, so I called Felix while Han coached Jeongin on the art of...sneaking onto other's property. We knew the two of you were probably at your breaking point, given how you were screaming all the way down the street…” He shrugged. “We figured you’d try to retaliate. It was too good to pass up.”

“......”

Anger wasn’t enough anymore. You were downright enraged, seething...and also, a bit heartbroken. A lot heartbroken. It was all planned. Your revenge was just another part of their game. They anticipated it, adjusted to it, even arranged it. It was all for not...and, what’s more…

Now they had F/n. The Fox-faced demon would be scampering out of your house and into the devil’s layer at any minute.

But he’d made a fatal mistake. You still had one of their own in your grasp.

With the utmost vexation and irritability you screamed, grabbing the bottle of hair dye from where it got caught between two shilling panels and tore the whole lid off, dumping the entire bottle into Felix’s hair. Han and Hyunjin froze in the middle of their victorious dance ritual to watch in horror as Felix screeched, trying to shake the substance out and make any feeble attempt he could to get away. You ripped open the glitter glue next, aiming it right at his scalp.

“Give F/n back right now or I’m adding glitter. Lots of it.”

“......”

Han Jisung and Hwang Hyunjin just continued to stare at you dumbfounded. Because they didn’t respond, you emptied the entire container, not caring if it seeped into the boy’s eyes as you dropped everything else for the attic door. 

“OH SH*T! MY EYES! MY FACE! YOU GUYS SUCK! AHH—”

The roof latch clicked behind you.

Flying down the ladder and around the hall you ran with all your might for the front door. Surprisingly enough, however, Jeongin was having a tough time getting there himself, wrestling with F/n for a position that allowed him to keep them quiet while having the freedom to move quickly. Unfortunately for him, F/n wasn’t going down without a fight.

“Let...go…! Get…off…...ahh! Y/n!!!”

They were wrestling at the end of the hall, just above the stairs. You pushed yourself harder, faster, ready to pulverize this kid you once found cute and adorable.

Something was off, though. You noticed as you got closer. The way they fought— it was almost too carefully, like they were trying to avoid hitting something.

You found out too little too late. F/n’s eyes widened. 

“Y/n, no, look out—!”

Fwoosh!

Your foot tripped over a wire, and the three of you went tumbling upwards.

You couldn’t believe you fell for the same trick twice.

-〤〤〤-

“Hold still,” Hyunjin groaned, clawing at Felix’s bindings. The boy practically refused, squirming with all his might.

“I’m holding still! I can’t see!”

“What does that have to do with being still?!”

Felix fumed.

Han Jisung made his way to the top of the ladder, rolling onto his back to catch his breath. It wasn’t like he wanted to drive Y/n to do this. Rather, he was just having a little fun, passing time, and essentially, getting to know her. 

She was the girl he thought about spending quite a bit of his life with, after all.

He turned his head sideways, taking in the view of the mountains, the small forestry area, the big city on the other side. Dang it, he knew Y/n’s roof had a better view of the area. “Both of you...quit whining...for a sec…”

He fought to catch his breath. Normally he thought himself to be in pretty good shape, but maybe eating a whole cheesecake and slacking off last week for that Netflix marathon put him back a few steps. Diagonally above him, Hyunjin sighed, removing the last of Felix’s restraints. “Okay, there. You’re free now.”

Felix stood, immediately rubbing his shirt over his face and stretching his arms out wide, then his legs. He looked around. 

“Something wrong?” Hyun asked. Felix began to sweat, visible from a mile away.

“Oh, gosh, you guys. I still can’t see. I think I’m legally blonde.”

“......” Hyunjin blinked. “You mean legally blind? Legally Blonde is a movie.” He glanced up at his sparkling dishwater-green hair. “Also, your hair’s green now. An ugly green. And shiny. Too shiny—”

“Both of you shhh,” Han griped, sitting up sideways. He pushed himself up all the way, stumbling diagonally as he hiked up toward the other side of the roof. “Has Jeongin come out yet? Where’s Y/n?”

“I don’t know,” Felix spoke, swatting at his surroundings. “I can’t see anything.”

“He obviously wasn’t talking to you,” Hyunjin piped. He leaned over the edge, examining the front porch, then the lawn. “...I don’t know either. I didn’t hear the front door but, then again, I couldn’t hear anything with Whines-A-Lot back here blubbering so loud.”

“Why are you in such a bad mood today? Normally you’re really sweet and chill. And why is everyone attacking me all of a sudden?! I’m the one that agreed to be the bait of this operation! Me!”

“Okay, okay,” Han waved his hands. He really hated being the responsible one, but with these two at each other's throats and Jeongin nowhere to be found, he really had no other choice. “Felix, go inside and see if you can find Jeongin. Or Y/n. Anyone.”

Felix scoffed, throwing his hands in the air like a tossed salad. “Oh, yeah. Send the blind guy in. That plan always works. Makes total sense!”

“Oh, right...uhh, Hyunjin?”

Hyunjin scrunched up his face. “No way. I’m not going in there. Breaking and entering is not going on my personal record. Pranks are fine, but I’m not violating the law. That’s your department, Mr. Fifteen-Unpaid-Speeding-Tickets.”

“......” Groaning, Han made his way to the top of the roof, kneeling just short of the peak to pull the lever. However, the door wouldn’t budge. “...It’s locked.”

“Locked?”

“Yeah, that’s what I said. Locked.” He ran a hand through his hair. “Shoot, why would she stop to lock the door? Now wh—”

“HAN JISUNG!!!”

All three college boys froze. Crouching, they whipped their heads around wildly. Even Felix. “What was that?!” He asked. “Was that Y/n?!”

“HAN!!!” Another called. Smaller, lighter, yet contradictingly more masculine. Hyunjin gasped. 

“That sounded like Jeongin!”

Then, suddenly, all three missing voices meshed together, the chorus dark and booming: “LET US OUT! LET US OUT LET US OUT LET US OUT!!!”

Hyunjin jumped to his feet, kicking and pounding at the door. “Quick, open the door! We have to rescue Jeongin!”

Han’s jaw fell a little. “What about Y/n?”

“What about her?!” He grunted, hitting the door harder. “Jeongin is our first priority!”

“I thought you didn’t like breaking and entering,” Felix sneered from the back, still waving at the air like a recently-blind person would. His elder tsked, scowling.

“It’s not breaking and entering if someone’s life is in danger! Han, what the hell kind of trap did you put in there?!”

Han blinked, trying to process. Everything had gone South so quickly, curved in a direction he wasn’t expecting— he couldn’t think. His mind drew up blanks. Never in his thirteen years of pranking history had he ever not been in control of his own crafty work. 

Now his work was playing a joke on him. “Han! Hello?! Earth to Jisung?”

“...I…”

“What did you do in there?!”

“......” He swallowed, barely regaining his composure. “I set up another net. Just a quick one, like the one from earlier today.”

“What?!” Hyunjin roared. “But that took me all morning! How did you do it in five minutes?!”

“I didn’t,” he replied. “I did it in four.”

Hyunjin deadpanned, smacking a hand over his face. “‘Kay…how did you manage to pull that off?”

His superior in the art of mischief fell back on his behind, staring out seamlessly at nothing in particular. Obnoxiously calm for the circumstances. “I’ve been sneaking into her house every now and then when she left the back door open. I’d set up a small part here, or a spring wire there, just small stuff out of the way that no one’d notice. They’ve hardly been home with midterms going around.”

“......” Hyunjin shook his head in disbelief. “Han, there’s no way they wouldn’t notice or not accidentally set something like that off until now.”

Han turned back to him in earnest. “I just set the final wire down this afternoon. The activation one. One of them— probably Y/n— tripped over it.”

“...If that’s true, then…”

Another sonorous from down below reached the canopies above: “LET US OUT!!!”

Hyunjin dropped back on all fours. “LET US IN!!!” he cried, pounding on the hardwood door. “Jeongin, buddy, it’s going to be oka—”

“Come on!” Han said, leaping to his feet. He grabbed Felix by the wrist, tugging the two along behind him before making a crash landing for the bushes. No time to waste now. He needed to get his act together, take a leap of faith that, maybe, if he played his cards right, Y/n could see him in a whole new light.

It would be a long shot. If he remembered to jump from the right spot, anyway. “AAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!” Both boys screamed, clinging to each other’s sides. They hit the shrubs, bouncing forward and rolling into Y/n’s front yard.

“...Was that a trampoline???” Felix asked. Han scoffed, shoving the two off of him.

“I planted an emergency escape device in her bushes last week, just in case.” He dusted himself off, screwing his head on straight while jogging to the front porch. “What do I look like, stupid or something?” 

“......” Hyunjin watched him cross to the front door, lying upside down. “Do you want us to answer that?”

“...No.” 

Han rang the doorbell. Stamped his foot. Remembered all house guests and tenants were currently tied up at the moment, slapped himself, panicked. He banged his fist against the door. 

“Y/n?! It’s okay! Daddy’s going to fix this!”

Hyunjin made a noise (he was full of noises), tromping up the steps while Felix rolled himself around in the yard, trying to figure out which way was up and what he should do with himself. “Did you just call yourself—”

“Yes, now shut up.” Han dug around in his pocket, pulling out a key. “Heh heh heh…” 

He jimmied the lock, twisting and turning the key this way and that. But the door wouldn’t budge, not even an inch.

“Sh*t!” He grabbed his hair. “Why isn’t this working?! I made copies of her keys three weeks ago!”

Hyunjin glared sideways. “You changed out her locks two weeks ago.” 

Shoot, that was right. Han kicked the door, fuming. “Dang it! ...Ow!” 

He was spent. Gone. Energy depleting. And now, his foot hurt. Spinning around he banged his head against the door, sliding down to sulk on his backside. 

He hadn’t meant for things to go awry. He’d just wanted to mess with Y/n, see what made her tick, have some fun. Find out what she liked, what she didn’t like, maybe get up the nerve to ask her what she was doing for dinner next Saturday so he could mess with the food at her favorite restaurant and force her to come to a candle-lit dinner in his backyard instead, where he’d have her second-favorite takeout waiting on plates of gold he’d “borrowed” from Hyunjin’s aunt.

If only things would have worked out that way. “LET US OUT LET US OUT LET US OUT!!!” the house called.

Hyun and Han shared a pitiful look, plastering themselves to the walls and door. They had no choice. There was nothing left. “LET US IN LET US IN LET US IN!!!”

“HAN JISU— …” 

Quiet. That was strange. What was it quiet?! What happened?! What could have—

...Oh no. What if…!

“DON’T HURT JEONGIN!” Han screamed, pressing his nose to the glass. “PLEASE! Y/N F/N PLEASE HYUNJIN WILL KILL ME IF SOMETHING HAPPENS TO HIM!!!”

“WHAT?!” Hyunjin yelled, pressing against the glass as well. “Move over, I can’t see! WHAT ARE YOU FIENDISH PEOPLE DOING TO HIM?!”

There was no response. Han began sweating profusely, feeling his heart ready to burst in a bad way. This was it. It was over. He’d have to call the cops to have them released, and then Han would probably go to jail for twenty-seven misdemeanors and a couple felony charges. Not to mention those unpaid speeding tickets.

Chink. Clunk. Creek.

A force against him gave way, the front door magically opening. As Han and Hyunjin fell forward, a blind, sparkling, green-haired man smiled down at them, standing at the other side.

-〤〤〤-

The clamouring coming from your front door set you on edge, wiggling and slashing at the ties that bound you. And F/n. And Jeongin.

The three of you piled on top of each other in an awkward heap, you being fortunate enough to have flipped on top. “Ow! Y/n, get your foot out of my eye!” F/n cried.

Apologetically, you shifted your weight, trying to give them room in the small net. Jeongin huffed as you did, making the most cumberous and uncomfortable face as you shifted your bottom over his backside, close to his head. “This is your fault for sneaking in here and trying to kidnap F/n,” you scolded, only feeling a little sorry given the circumstances.

He blushed, perplexingly so, carefully trying to claw his way to a corner that didn’t exist. “I, um...I’m sorry…”

Like that was enough to get the three of you out of this arrangement. Rolling your eyes, you focused your attention on the front door you could just barely see, tuning your ears to adjust and pick up on anything.

“What are they saying?” F/n asked. You shrugged, huffing and puffing disorderly.

“I don’t know. I can barely hear anything. They’re whispering. They keep looking over here, though.”

“Who opened the door?! How did they get in here???”

F/n was currently squished with their head facing the opposite direction, explaining their heighted insecurity and naggingness. You sighed, squinting and rocking your weight in order to make the small flexible cage sway to better see around the corner. “I think...Felix let them in. He must have used the back door or something.”

“Son of a b*tch, Y/n!!!” F/n quietly fumed. “This is why I always tell you to make sure both doors are locked! You never think to check the back door and it drives me crazy!!!”

“I know, I know okay?! Calm down! You’re gonna draw attention!”

“HAN!!!” Jeongin suddenly screamed. “FELIX! GET ME OUT OF THIS THING!!!”

Both you and F/n panicked. “SHHHHHHHH!!!”

He regarded the two of you like you were crazy. “Just five minutes ago you were screaming too!”

F/n hissed. “Yeah, well that was five minutes ago, and this is now!”

Jeongin sighed. “Listen, this is really uncomfortable for me, especially because you’re sitting...entirely too close to me,” he spoke, “so how about I make a deal with you two?”

“No way. I don’t make deals with demons. Or vipers, or monsters, or Fox-faced devils that sneak into our house and try to kidnap me!!!”

Jeongin sighed again, letting out a slight hiss of annoyance at the end. At the base of the stairs, Han and Hyunjin started making their ascent, Felix stumbling around a bit with a bandana now over his eyes before following after them.

“Oh shoot,” you whispered. “Here they come.”

Making his way around the net once, Han paused right square before you; and there it was, that evil flirtatious wink, tongue sweeping over his lips scarcely so. “S’up, gorgeous?”

Shoot me. I want to die.

Han poked your nose, making a little annoying sound effect and laughing when you teetered backwards, swatting away at the germs he left on your face. “Aww, I think someone doesn’t like their situation very much.”

“Lay off. Get us out of this stupid thing and then get the hell out. If you don’t, I’m calling the cops.”

Han chuckled and slapped his leg like you were just the cutest little thing to him. “Oh, alright, calm down princess. You’re just sour over falling for the same trick twice.”

It burned you how much truth there was to those words. You would have spit at him if F/n wasn’t at risk of being in the line of fire. “Just shut up and get us out of here. Take your friend with you.”

Tangled up behind you, Jeongin sputtered; you could feel him roll his eyes. “Gladly,” he muttered.

After admiring your pissed-off look for a few seconds, and Han taking a few selfies for his own selfish gain, Han and Hyunjin got right to work, snipping wires here, tugging at rope there. Eventually, after a few moments of unblissful trepidation and embarrassment, the net lowered gently, falling lifelessly about a foot above ground. 

The three of you groaned, F/n having the wind knocked out of them for a second. Scampering and shoving off of each other, you turned away the moment you found your legs, brushing yourself off and walking down the hall a few paces. Your feet prickled with numbness, then faded and blood rushed through. 

When you turned around to check on F/n and kick everyone else out, Han Jisung had already found his way to your face. “Hey there, gorgeous. All better?”

You scowled most irately, placing your hands on his chest to push him off and startling yourself when he wouldn’t budge, and your hands just...stayed there. “Get out of here. You got us out, now you’re no longer welcome.”

“Oh, was that all you needed from me?” He smiled. Almost tenderly. Or maybe it was, you didn’t know. “I’m hurt, Y/n. I thought maybe we could...talk more. Get to know one another.”

“What?!” You tried to see around him, but he mirrored your every step and movement. When you pulled your hands away, he latched onto your wrists, placing them back. His fingers smoothed over the backs of your hands, intertwining with yours. You gulped, a feeling in your gut exploding.

“This is nice,” he said softly, giving your hands a gentle squeeze. “Isn’t it?”

It most certainly was not nice. Not nice at all! ...Yet, you were having quite a bit of trouble telling him that. His hands were so soft and...rigid...even the small calluses that sprouted along his palms and outline were somehow oddly alluring, inviting you to stay. 

You shivered, bristling all over. No, no. Get ahold of yourself Y/n. This can’t happen. I can’t go down like this. 

Shaking your head you shoved yourself back instead, running two steps to the right...and slamming gently into the adjacent wall. Gently. Softly. Softly slamming.

What the hell, why was everything with Han Jisung so soft all of a sudden?! You bore your eyes up at him, seeing as he was now just...inches away from you...again...g-getting closer…

His nose brushed right up against yours. A breath caught in your throat, begging to scream. Everything else in your body was. He had slithered himself to press up against you.

You’re pretty sure, even if you couldn’t feel it, your face was the darkest shade of red right now. Han undoubtedly noticed too, simpering just a fraction from your lips. “What should we do now, princess? Should we…” He inched your waist forward. “...go next door?”

Next door. Next door, where the hellhole of disasters had started. 

...Something about that line just didn’t sit right with you. Feeling as if the whole moment had been ruined (and good gravy you had to get out of this), you shimmied yourself a bit of wiggle room and shot your knee skyward, wincing as a howl of pain rang out in your ear. You kicked Han back, making a run for F/n…

...Who was again, gone. Everyone was gone.

Turning around, Han gave you a childish salute, that flirtatious wink following him all the way out the front door. You couldn’t do anything. Just observe him leave in shock.

Until you heard a thump from downstairs, and raced to find Felix feeling his way around the kitchen. 

“Now, I know there’s a backdoor somewhere...it was in here when I came in…”

You bore your eyes into him. Smirked.

Five minutes later, his whines echoed all through the house and down the porch steps.

-〤〤〤-

It may not have been high noon, but that didn’t stop Hyunjin and Fox-face Jeongin from turning on an old western showdown score. 

You stood on your side of the property line, Felix rebound though now standing at your side. If he was miffed about his hair and the overzealous glitter drawing attention to it, he didn’t say anything. Possibly because being temporarily blind was pulling all his attention away.

On the other side, about ten or twelve meters from the line, stood Han Jisung, in all his hellion, dark-profiled glory. F/n was bound and gagged beside him, looking like a tick about to pop. You’d never seen that vein before, throbbing above their forehead. Hyunjin and Jeongin observed from afar, amongst the safety of shade and porch railing.

You lifted the megaphone you’d brought back with you from the roof. “On the count of three,” you instructed, gripping Felix’s sleeve tight. 

Han Jisung cackled, or his eyes did anyway, a sparkle of humor at play. “Alright. Hostage exchange on three.”

“Okay…”

You both paced exactly twenty-something steps until you were only two feet from the line.

“One…”

“Two…”

“...Thre—”

“Wait.”

Your mind did a little flip, attention spiraling upward. “What?”

The hellion next door smirked. “I have one condition.”

“Oh?” You sputtered. “So do I.”

“Ladies first.”

You deadpanned. “Stop intervening and disturbing my life and F/n’s sanity and I won’t call the cops.”

He laughed, a very hearty, joyful sound. It sort of...made your heart spin. “That’s fair. I can agree to those terms...if you agree to mine.” You scoffed.

“And what would that be?”

Han Jisung smiled. Brighter than the sun. For once, it was almost as if he was revealing a side of his persona to you he’d kept locked away all this time; he suddenly appeared to be genuine, sincere, and oh-so benevolent. Not to mention handsome. “Go on a date with me. Saturday, at five.”

“What?!”

The world came to a crash. Everything just seemed to stop, the birds even dropping like flies to gawk at the enigma that was Han Jisung. Behind him and to the left, Jeongin and Hyunjin stared at each other in bewilderment. Felix muttered some kind of disbelief beneath his breath. F/n looked like s/he really would pop.

“Mmm?!” They shrieked. Han chuckled, ruffling his hair away from his face and casting squinted eyes out over the neighborhood. 

“Yeah, uh...I’ll pick you up at five, if you like. I mean, you have to, because this is a condition. My deal. Where we’re going is a surprise, but I can give you a hint.” He leaned forward, twitching his nose a bit. “There’s a lot of action going on in the color department, and it usually gives me an allergy attack. But, I figured you may enjoy watching my face fall apart.”

“.........”

Slowly, you adjusted your gaze over to F/n. They were shaking their head wildly, though limitedly, so as not to tip off anyone. 

“.........” You turned your face back to Han Jisung. “...Make it five-thirty. I have an errand to run that day.”

He bit his lower lip to keep from smiling too much. “Deal. Okay, on three. One…”

“Two…”

“Three.”

You each pushed your captives over at the same time, Felix and F/n stumbling forward over the property line. Hyunjin and Jeongin raced down into the lawn while you quickly got to work untying and freeing your housemate. 

S/he turned and looked to you with the utmost confusion and disappointment in their eyes. You smiled, sadly, and turning away watched as three of the four boys embraced and spat at each other, Hyunjin and Jeongin poking and teasing Felix about his hair, and Han Jisung watching you back with stars in his eyes. Once a hellion, it was as if a great fog had lifted over the valley, and now you could see he was both day and night. A myriad of sunlight, and a mischievous moon.

“You’re not really going on a date with him,” F/n scolded, walking in sync with you up the porch steps and in through the front door. You waited until they were safely inside and halfway to the kitchen for another drink, waving and even winking in Han Jisung’s direction. It caught him off guard, and you snickered at his confused stare. 

“We’ll see,” is all you said, shutting the door behind you.

-〤〤〤-

Saturday, 5:25 p.m.

Your house mysteriously felt like the Island of the Lost.

“F/n! Have you seen my hairbrush?!”

Running back and forth in front of the TV, up and down the stairs, rummaging through both bathrooms, F/n sighed, annoyed at having their early-evening talk show interrupted. They set the TV on mute. “What are you looking for? Your hairbrush?”

You nodded, heading back towards the upstairs bath. F/n jumped up from a commercial break, following you.

“How did you manage to lose your hairbrush? Sheesh, Y/n, you’ve been forgetful all day.”

You turned toward the mirror, staring worrisome eyes at the curlers in your hair, the sloppily-applied two minute makeup job on your face. F/n noticed as well, giving a small pout as s/he crossed their arms, leaning against the doorframe. “Where are you going, anyway?”

Uh-oh. “Hmm...?”

You pretended not to hear that. F/n blinked, their face falling to an unimpressed state. “I asked, where are you going?”

“......”

“......”

Downstairs, the doorbell rang. Crap. It wasn’t five-thirty yet!

F/n turned toward the sound, their brows lifting in minor surprise. “Who could that be? Are you expecting a package or anything?”

They began wandering in the direction of the staircase, but you cringed, throwing yourself as a blockade. “Ahahahahahahaha! …” Sweat. “...I-I’ll get it. You should get back to your show!”

F/n gasped, pushing past you and gracefully making a sharp left just a few feet from the door. Phew. 

You peered around the corner, trying to make out the silhouette through the foggy glass. 

Tall-ish. A bit on the short side. Skinny? Seemingly masculine.

It had to be him. Panic struck you like a bat out of hell, scrambling to the bathroom and ripping the curlers out of your hair. You fought through three bottles of creams and mascara while juggling your toothbrush hanging out of your mouth, rinsing, spitting, and finally flipping your hair down, shaking it loose and flipping back over.

Oh yeah. Messy-chic look. Perfect. With a touch of gloss (or lipstick) you smoothed out your casual-dressy outfit before skipping downstairs and slipping on your favorite dress shoes at the door, purse slung over your bodice.

This was it. You discreetly shifted your eyes to the left. F/n was still inthralld in their talk show. Now was your chance for a clean getaway without any awkward accusations or encounters.

Taking a deep, measured breath, you gingerly opened the door, blowing it out on the exhale. Han Jisung stood in all his new-lighted glory, his back turned to you as he examined the neighborhood, waiting.

You gave a small cough, stepping out and locking up behind you. Han turned around, his eyes widening when he saw you. “Whoa...uh…”

“Yes?” Your gaze traveled down to the flowers in his hand. “Are those for me, or an apology to F/n?”

You both laughed, Han thrusting them forward a bit forcefully. An awkward color painted a ring around his face, across his ears and along the curves of his cheeks. “Uh, b-both, I guess. ...But, mainly for you.”

He was nervous. For real this time. You smiled, taking the small bouquet and burying your face into the petals. You inhaled deeply. “...Mmm...they smell really nice!”

You beamed. For maybe five seconds. After that, a spout of water soaked your forehead.

Han Jisung pressed his lips together, trying his darndest not to laugh. His eyes avoided you entirely, observing everything but your face. A moment later, he bolted, signalling for his groupies to turn on the sprinklers. Coffee rained down on both of your lawns, dyeing both sides murky Vanilla Latte.

You chased him down the porch steps, through the caffeinated shower, laughing.

-〤〤〤-

“...And that about wraps up our show for today!”

F/n flipped the TV off, turning their gaze to the window. Is it raining already?

As they approached the window, their jaw fell. They opened the window. “Y/N!!! HAN JISUNG!!!”

...It was no use.

Pulling up a chair, they fell to their knees, observing the bizarre weather in a moment of acceptance. They extended their mug over the windowsill, sighing as the caffeinated shower refilled their morning latte.

ღ Stray Kids M.List | M.List ღ

#han jisung #stray kids #skzwriters #sk-writersnet #skz #han jisung imagines #han jisung scenarios #han jisung oneshot #han jisung fanfic #han jisung fanfiction #han jisung fluff #stray kids imagines #stray kids scenarios #stray kids oneshots #stray kids fanfics #stray kids fanfiction #stray kids fluff #kpop #kpop imagines #kpop scenarios #kpop oneshots #kpop fanfics #kpop fanfiction #hwang hyunjin #lee felix #yang jeongin #neighbor au #prank war au #thekpopnetwork #poeticallyspaghetti

[awstenknyght]

Big Hero Six AU Part Two!!!!!!

A/N: i finished the next part!! please give me validation i love this au so much- also disclaimer!! this is not exact to the movie because A. obviously some details have to be rearranged and B. disney should’ve let hiro say fuck and i will stand by that

Warnings: death, language, spoilers for the big hero 6 movie!!

Tags: @love-pyramus @mrlcverman @joshkatz @thatsmycigarbutyoucanborrowit @weaselweaselweasel @the-cowbi @mister-sunny-raccoon-boy @panicky-pancakes

Wheels followed Kath to another room, this one more isolated than the rest. “I want to show you what I’ve been working on.”

Katherine pulled out a roll of duct tape. She put a piece on Wheels’ arm and pulled it off quickly.

“Ow! What the fuck Kath?” Wheels said, pulling her arm back.

A small box across the room lit up and a boy rose up from it. He was tall with blonde hair. One of his eyes was a stormy blue, it almost looked like it was made of metal.

“Hello! I am Switch Eye, your personal health care companion! I was alerted to your need for medical attention when you said ‘ow.’”

“A robot?” Wheels asked, amazed. She moved closer and examined it. “Kat, this is amazing-“

“I will scan you now,” Switch continued. “Scan complete. You have a slight thermal abrasion on your forearm. I suggest an anti bacterial spray.”

Wheels watched in awe as Switch Eye sprayed something on her arm. “You must’ve done some serious coding on this thing.”

“Mouse worked on it too,” Kath replied with a shrug. “He’s gonna help a lot of people.”

Wheels grinned. This whole school was nothing like she expected. For the first time in years, she felt like she had something new to learn. And SFIT was where she needed to be.

There was a knock at the door. A man came in and smiled. “Katherine! Working the midnight oil?”

“Just picking something up, Professor,” Kath replied with a grin.

Then man spotted Wheels’ bot and picked it up. “Wow. This is an excellent piece of machinery. What’s your name?”

“Wheels, sir,” she said, tapping her fingers excitedly, ready to ramble on and on about her work. “I used magnetic-bearing servos. Wanna see how I put them together?”

“Hey genius, he invented them,” Kath called over her shoulder.

Wheels’ eyes widened. “You’re Snyder? As in Snyder’s law of robotics?”

“The one and only!” he chuckled. “You know, you have some real skill. Have you ever thought of attending here?”

“I- uh-”

“She’s pretty serious about her bot fighting career,” Katherine said with a smirk. “Ready to go?”

Wheels bit her tongue and nodded. Maybe she could go here.

As they got out to the car, Wheels stopped. “I have to go here. If I don’t, I’m gonna explode.”

“So dramatic,” Katherine said sarcastically. “You could always do the showcase?”

“Showcase?”

“Invent something that blows the judges away, and you’re in. It’s gonna be hard. You’re gonna have to give up bot fighting.”

Wheels looked down at her fighter. She had to do this. Whatever it takes, she’d get into SFIT.

***

“I have. No ideas. Brain empty.”

Wheels was surrounded by crumbled up papers and broken pencils. She had been sitting for hours. None of her ideas were good enough.

“Wow. Washed up at fourteen. So sad,” Katherine said sarcastically, not looking up from her book.

“I’m never gonna get into SFIT. I’m never gonna amount to anything.” She felt Katherine pick her up and spin her around before throwing her lightly onto the bed. “Hey! What the fuck?”

“You just need a to look at it from a new angle,” Katherine said with a shrug.

Wheels threw a pillow at her sister before something caught her eye. Her bot. What if-

Wheels grabbed the notebook off her desk and began scribbling all over it. Katherine smiled with satisfaction and went back to her half of the room.

Over the next month, Wheels worked on her project relentlessly. Finally, almost a month later, it was ready.

“Are you scared?” Katherine asked as she pushed a large recycling bin to Wheels’ assigned stage.

“What? No. You’re talking to an ex bot fighter, nothing scares me.”

“Yep, she’s scared,” Josie chimed in from behind. She’d been spending a lot more time with Katherine’s friends from school, and they were more then happy to help her out.

“Kat! Your girlfriend is bullying me!” Wheels whined.

Katherine laughed. As everyone else continued to joke around behind them, she pulled her little sister to the side. “You ready shithead?”

“Of course, asshole.” Wheels nodded her head in determination. “I have to get into this school.”

“You will,” Katherine replied. She looked through the curtains to see a small crowd gathered. “You’re on!”

Wheels took a deep breath and rolled up to the stage. This was her time to shine.

“This is a microbot,” she said, holding up a small black piece of metal. Her microphone screeched. The crowd began to look uninterested and she panicked.

Then, she caught Katherine’s eye. Her sister nodded her head and mouthed ‘Breathe.’

Wheels took a deep breathe and continued. “It might not look like much, but when it comes together with its friends,” she put on a headpiece. “Things get a little more interesting.”

The bins next to the stage tipped over and thousands of tiny bots spilled out, forming a geometric structure next to her.

“The possibilities are limitless. Building, transportation,” the bots lifted her up and moved her across the stage. “Even accessibility! You think it, microbots can do it!”

The crowd, which had grown significantly since the demonstration started, cheered. Wheels left the stage and was met with a huge hug from Katherine, as well as congratulations from Davey, Cora, and everyone else.

Wheels noticed one more person coming out from the crowd. “Dad?”

Pulitzer nodded tersely. “Excellent bots you’ve got there, Octavia. You know, we could make a lot of money mass-producing these.”

Wheels didn’t know how to respond. Her father had never said anything about her work before, barely even looked at it. And now he was willing to work with her to mass-produce them?

“Not so fast,” Snyder said, running up. “You could also wait and develop your bots, or you could sell them to someone who only cares about his own self interest.”

Snyder was giving her father an icy glare. Wheels knew the two didn’t get along, but she never questioned why. Pulitzer had a lot of enemies.

The two bickered awkwardly for a bit before she cut in. “Sorry father, but I’m not for sale.”

Snyder smiled as Pulitzer walked away, assistant in tow. “You made the right choice kid. I hope to see you at school.”

He handed her a white envelope with the school’s seal on it. Her eyes widened. No way.

The next few minutes went by in a blur. There was lots of congratulations, Cora invited everyone over for dinner, but Katherine pulled her away.

“I know what you’re gonna say,” Wheels said as she gazed at the school she’d soon be attending. In a high-pitched mocking impression of her sister’s voice, “I should be proud of myself that I’m finally doing something important with my life!”

“No, I was just gonna say that your shirts on inside out.”

“What?” she looked down at her t-shirt. Kath was right. “Fuck you.”

Katherine laughed. “Welcome to need school, nerd.”

Wheels smiled. “Thanks for being for me. I wouldn’t be here without-“

Before she could finish her thought, people stated flooding out of the building. Katherine pulled someone aside. “What’s going on? Are you okay?”

“There’s was a fire,” she coughed. “Everyone else is out, but Snyder’s still in there!”

Katherine let her go and moved towards the door. Wheels grabbed her hand. “Katherine, no. You’re gonna get hurt!”

“Snyder’s in there. Someone has to save him.” With that, Katherine ran inside.

Stupid Kath and her stupid hero complex. Wheels moved to follow her, refusing to let her do it alone.

She was blown back by an explosion of heat. Everything went black, then red. Jet head was pounding. Every sound around her was dull, as if it was happening far away. Her hearing aid must’ve fallen out.

Katherine.

There was no way she could’ve survived that. Kath was gone.

#fuck you im pinning this #PLEASE read it and talk to be about it-

[lis-likes-fics]

The Red Lantern

Pairings: Loki x Reader Warning: Sick moves Author’s Note: Halloween shot, have fun. :)

"Again?! I just got the last one removed!" One of the residents of Avengers Drive yelled. You and your friends stopped, looking over at the blonde staring at the side of his house.

One of his neighbors strolled over to his side, the red haired woman stared at the wall, chuckling lightly. "Punks got you again?"

Steve sighed, "Yeah, I'll have to get it removed. Again."

"They seem to be quite fond of you." Natasha chuckled, walking back over to her house. You turned to your friends.

"You think it's him again?" You asked, a smirk on your lips.

Rocket nodded, scratching his arm that had a raccoon tattoo. "No doubt about it."

"Let's go see what it is, the rest of them are starting to get to gather." Gamora said, pointing over to it.

You walked with your group of friends to get to the house with the spray paint. Word spread quickly about the performance of the culprit behind the spray paint. You had stumbled upon it by accident while walking with your friends.

There were different groups of you, and the residents of Avengers Drive seemed to learn to identify which person was from which group.

You, Rocket, Groot, Gamora, and Peter Quill called yourselves the Guardians. At one point, you went by the Guardians of the Galaxies, but people decided it was a mouthful and didn't exactly go with what you guys did.

You decided as a group that the Guardians was a good name. Though, Rocket did suggest Rocket and the Coons at one point, which was turned down since he wasn't even the lead.

Rocket's real name was Sean, but when he was a kid, he had an obsession with raccoons and said his nickname was Rocket Raccoon and it stuck. As for Groot, his real name was Vin, but he never said anything as a kid but 'I am Groot'. He grew out of it, but the name stuck.

Groot was skinny but surprisingly strong. He was barely taller than you and just below Quill's height and he was very lovable.

Rocket was small, so small that you were taller than him. But he definitely had a mouth and enough sarcasm and sass to fill the Empire State Building.

You walked past Steve Rogers, the owner of the house and the one trying to usher the rest of you away so he could get it cleaned off. You read out loud, "The Trickster performs his tricks at the place where the light glows red on the night of hallows from the time of the witch to the time of the devil's hour."

You shrugged and exchanged glances with everyone around the area. The ones who understood nodded. "You'll be there?" They asked each other.

You turned to your group, "What do you think? We should go?"

They nodded and Quill commented, "Yeah, show him how it's done!"

"Sounds, fun. Let's do it." Groot said, high-fiving Rocket. Steve commented, "What does that even mean?"

You patted his shoulder, "You don't know, you can't go."

Everyone who wasn't a resident of Avengers Drive turned to leave. Groot commented, "Just to be sure, we're going to the Red Lantern, right?"

You nodded, "Yep. 'The place where the light glows red'. That's the Red Lantern. 'The time of the witch to the time of the devil' means the Bewitching Hour to the Devil's Hour, 12am to 3am. And, of course, 'night of hallows' is tonight, Halloween."

You learned to decipher the Trickster's riddles, taking your crew to his performances to face off with him. He did spray paint and dance. The Trickster was talented, but so was your group. At almost every event, you would face him off one-on-one since he didn't have a group to challenge with and you were the group leader.

-

That night, you all headed to the Red Lantern, pouring into the club with the loud, beating music. You spent the first bit of the night settling in before jumping on the dance floor to start off.

The crowds curled around your group, cheering at the choreography of your practiced group. Before you could finish the dance, the Trickster himself spread the crowd as he walked over.

"You call that dancing? I'm quite disappointed in you. I was hoping for some competition tonight." He told you, strutting in front of you all and crossing his arms.

You straightened up, fist bumping the rest of your crew before stepping forward. You got in his face and looked up at him, you were way shorter than he was so it was a little difficult.

You said, "I could say the same to you. I haven't seen you dance yet, did you hurt a finger?"

He smirked as he looked down at you, "Well, whatever that was, I wouldn't call it dancing. Looked like you just realized you had limbs."

You nodded and stepped back. "Enough trash talk. Let's get this over with." You smiled with him as you both stepped back. He stepped on the floor first, you watched from the edge of it, giving him the space he needed.

The music started and so did his dance. While you had to admit, it was impressive, you knew you could do better. When he offered the turn to you, you slid in and shoved him from his spot, starting your own dance as you let your arms and legs do what they wanted, moving to the music to rely less on strategy and more on feeling.

You got a lot of cheers and words of approval from the crowd watching in on you. When you passed the beat to him, he'd started his own routine, which topped your first one. It didn't matter. You were just warming up.

When his dance ended in a back flip and a slide toward you with his hands held out, you chuckled and grabbed his hand, using it as a push up as you started your own dance with a front flip and a split.

You rose from the flip and continued your dance, the Trickster's eyes were wide with an amused smile at your move. You winked at him while you danced, ending on a move just as extreme as the first one.

You strutted over to him, shrugging, "Well?" He laughed and said, "I'll have to admit, that was a good one."

You wiggled a brow and jutted your head toward the dance floor, offering it up. "You're turn, princess."

He scoffed, "Is that how it is?"

"Yeah. Yeah, that's how it is." You said with an amused smirk.

He nodded, "Of course."

The next thing he did was so quick, you couldn't tell what happened but you knew that it was awesome. You breathed out in amazement as he continued.

The fluidity of his dance was strong, so strong that you noticed a little mistake he'd made that you were sure no one else saw.

He passed the beat to you and you glanced over at Gamora, who was standing on the other side of the dance floor. You gave her a small nod and she nodded back, acknowledging your next move.

You'd been practicing this for a while, but you hadn't been able to perfect it, but Trickster's moves were great, so you would have to pull this one out of your ass.

You began your head start toward her, running over. She kneeled and cupped her hands in front of her. You took a breath in as you ran forward, stepping into her hands and she lifted you up into the air.

You did the triple twists and held your breath, bracing yourself as you got ready to land. When you landed in a crouched position, immediately going into a backflip, Trickster stared in awe.

You landed, breathing heavily, mostly out of shock. The crowd was silent for a long moment before erupting in cheers. You were crowded then, given compliments and outward approval as they cheered for you.

They started chanting your name out loud, lifting you up on their shoulders and turning you around. "Y/N! Y/N! Y/N!" They screamed.

You smiled before being set on the ground. You walked in front of Trickster, crossing your arms with a smirk. "So?"

He smiled, "Congratulations. You've won this one." The crowd cheered again and your group swarmed around you. Gamora high fived you, "Who knew that would win this?"

You shrugged, "I thought I was going to break something." You both laughed. The rest of the night went by with drinks and congratulations.

When the Devil's Hour approached, you walked out with the Trickster by your side. You sighed, "We've been facing off for a year and I still don't know your name."

He nodded, "Only the most exceptional dancers know my name." You laughed and he added, "And, I suppose you fit that criteria."

He turned to you, bowing politely with your hand in his. He kissed your knuckles and told you, "I am Loki."

You smiled, hiding your blush, "I like it."

He smiled, "To celebrate your winnings, how about I get you a drink."

You asked, "How about tomorrow? I'm exhausted."

He nodded, "Of course. Tomorrow where the light glows red, then."

You chuckled, "What time do you suggest?"

He asked hopefully, "How about date time?"

You licked your bottom lip, "Seven o'clock, it is."

Loki’s Subjects taglist: @fadingcoast​ @eloisestarksdottir​ @shining-loki​ @lokistan​ @nekoamamori​

#marvel #loki #avengers #fanfic #marvel fanfiction #avengers fanfiction #loki fanfic #loki god of mischief #mcu loki #loki x y/n #loki x you #loki x reader #loki bingo #halloween prompts #halloween #fanfiction #hauntober

[animationnut]

Time Travel

I just want to say that my love for Dakota and Cavendish is beyond words and their interactions with Milo are perfect and I really hope we get to see plenty more of their little trio in the future.

“Where are all these people going?”

Dakota lifted his head from his magazine to glance out the window, where swarms of people of all ages where spilling down the sidewalk and heading seemingly to the same destination. Cavendish inched their vehicle along, the traffic coming to a near stand-still to accommodate the flow of pedestrians.

“Dunno. Maybe there’s a sale on somewhere. We should check it out.”

“Most certainly not,” scoffed Cavendish. “I don’t want to be anywhere near that mob. Holiday crowds are horrendous.”

“Yeah, that’s part of the fun. Let’s see what’s goin’ on.”

“Oh, very well,” replied Cavendish, who couldn’t help but be curious himself. He managed to find a parking spot on the side of the road and pulled over. The pair of time travelers stood on the snowy curb and Cavendish stopped a passing woman. “Excuse me ma’am, could you please tell us where all of you are heading?”

“Oh, it’s the Christmas Tree Light-Up Ceremony,” she replied cheerfully. “Pretty much the whole town turns up for it!”

“Thank you very much.” Cavendish turned to Dakota and said, “Really, all this fuss for a tree lighting ceremony.”

“Ah, don’t be a Scrooge. We should go, it’ll be fun.”

“We have work to do,” said Cavendish pointedly.

Dakota raised a brow. “What, cleaning Renaissance-era toilets?”

“The pistachios! We have to make sure the pistachios go extinct if we want to avoid a future of plant monsters!”

“Oh, that. I’m sure there are pistachios being sold at this thing. We can step on ‘em.”

“Well...I suppose we could take a look.”

“Look out!”

Cavendish and Dakota turned their heads to see the bulb from the streetlight across the way shattering against the road, sending glass spraying in various directions. Dakota grinned. “Hey, Murphy’s here too!”

As everyone ran away from the scene, Dakota and Cavendish walked towards it. Milo was sitting on the metal bench, watching the people file by with a smile. The smile brightened when he caught sight of the two men coming to see him.

“Hey Dakota! Hey Cavendish!”

“Hello Murphy,” greeted Cavendish.

“Hey Milo, what are you sittin’ around here for?” asked Dakota. “Apparently there’s a big shindig happening.”

“Yeah, my neighbourhood’s tree lighting ceremony,” said Milo. “It’s really pretty. At least that’s what I’ve seen from the pictures.”

“You mean you’ve never seen it for yourself?” asked Cavendish in confusion. “But you live here.”

“Well, I have seen it once, when I was little,” amended Milo. “But it didn’t go so well. The tree caught fire and got destroyed and everyone was really upset. I haven’t been back since.”

Milo turned to glance after the crowds of people, a hint of wistfulness in his eyes. Dakota frowned. “Were you barred or somethin’?”

“Nah, nothing like that. My parents decided it might be best until I was older before we tried again, but I thought it would be better if I didn’t. A lot of people look forward to it and I didn’t want to ruin it for them.”

“You cannot help Murphy’s Law,” said Cavendish. “Really, the incident could not have been that bad.”

“Why don’t we see for ourselves?” Dakota jerked his thumb towards their time vehicle across the street. “What do you say, kid?”

“Sure!” Milo sprang up eagerly from the bench. “My family always says it was a spectacular disaster, but all I remember is a fiery blaze.”

Cavendish sent Dakota a glare. “Are you mad? Having two Milo Murphys in one place will most likely affect how the event occurs.”

“We’ll be fine,” dismissed Dakota. “We had two Murphys in one place before and all that happened was that you got hit with a peach.”

“Where the devil did that peach come from?” muttered Cavendish, mostly to himself.

“Anyway, I got the keys.” Swinging them on his finger, Dakota started across the street. “Let’s go.”

“Wait a moment!” Patting his pockets frantically, Cavendish demanded, “How did you get those?” When Dakota only sent him a smirk in response, he muttered, “Insufferable.”

...

December 12th, Eight Years Ago

Milo pressed his face against the backseat window, observing the surroundings of his town from his childhood. “Hey, I remember that statue!” he exclaimed. “Dad crashed into it a few summers ago. Er, a few summers after this, anyway.”

Dakota parked the car and they all filed outside. “We need to find somewhere to observe the incident, somewhere that’s not part of the crowd,” mused Cavendish.

“We can go to the roof of town hall,” suggested Milo. “The tree is right in front of the building.”

The trio took the back way to get to town hall in order to avoid the main crowds. They climbed the ladder attached to the back of the building to get to the roof. Milo was the last one up and as he neared the top the screws securing the top of the ladder to the building suddenly snapped out of place, causing the ladder to tip backwards.

“Whoa!”

“I gotcha kid!” Dakota grabbed hold of Milo’s arm and hoisted him up to the roof. “There ya go.”

“Thanks!” Milo glanced out into the crowd, spotting his sister and mother near the front. “Hey, there I am!”

Dakota followed Milo’s gesturing finger, which indicated a tiny six-year-old Milo perched on his mother’s shoulders. “Aw, you were cute. What happened?” he teased, pinching Milo’s cheeks.

“Same thing that happened to you--old age,” joked Milo, batting away Dakota’s hand.

“Ouch. Way to hit me where it hurts.”

“Welcome, ladies and gentlemen to our annual tree lighting ceremony!”

The mayor’s voice boomed across town square, amplified by the microphone. “It’s starting,” said Milo in a hushed voice.

“Why are you whispering?” asked Cavendish in bemusement. “They can’t hear you.”

“First I want to thank our hard-working committee for finding yet another perfect tree and gathering all these beautiful lights. Without them this tradition of ours wouldn’t be possible!” The mayor paused so he would not speak over the audience’s appreciative clapping. “And I want to thank you all for coming out to help celebrate the holidays as a community. Your support and spirit is appreciated. Boys, let there be light!”

The switch was flipped and the towering pine tree erupted into blue and white lights. The crowd ooed and aahed as the soft glow washed over them, reflecting off of storefront windows. They twinkled on the branches, glittering against the silver and blue bulbs dangling from the tips. The star on top shone a brilliant white, which could be seen from blocks away.

Dakota idly scratched at his chin, observing the Christmas tree. “It’s nice and all, but everyone really makes a big deal about this?”

“It’s hardly worth the excitement,” said Cavendish with a scoff. “It looks like any other Christmas tree.”

The microphone the mayor was holding started to spark and hiss. He shouted and tossed it away from him, where it landed near the trunk of the Christmas tree. The sparks caught on the branches and it erupted into flames, the fire shorting out the lights. As the electricity went down, plunging houses and businesses into darkness, the star exploded. Jagged pieces rained down and fizzled into the snow, some of them crashing into cars. One pierced through the side of a van, the sparks igniting the fuel tank and it was engulfed by an inferno. This caused a chain reaction with the rest of the cars parked on that side of the street as the flames reached them.

“So that’s how it caught on fire,” exclaimed Milo after a moment of awed gazing. “I always wondered.”

“Now that is spectacular,” declared Dakota. “This is way more exciting.”

The crowd was getting as far away from the tree as they could, and a portion of them strayed closer to town hall, so that trio were able to hear what they were saying.

“The Murphys are here, aren’t they?”

“I thought Martin started staying home after the raccoon-woodpecker debacle?”

“It’s just their boy, Milo. Cursed like the rest of the Murphy males.”

“Why do they have ruin everything?”

Dakota bristled. “I oughta--”

“It’s okay!” said Milo quickly, the smile he put on not reaching his eyes. “Really. Murphy’s Law isn’t just hard on me, it’s hard on anyone I come across.”

“That doesn’t give them the right to speak about you in such a way,” said Cavendish firmly. “Really. A curse. How ridiculous.”

“You don’t think I’m cursed?” asked Milo.

“Of course not,” said Cavendish in surprise, “if it wasn’t for you we never would have been able to defeat the Pistashions.”

“Yeah, we’d have been sunk without you,” agreed Dakota. “You can adjust to any situation, no matter what Murphy’s Law throws at you. I’d like to see anyone else try to deal with half of what you go through.”

“Aw, thanks,” said Milo gratefully, smiling sincerely now. “I don’t think its a curse. I couldn’t imagine living an average life. It must be so boring.”

“I think we’ve lingered long enough,” spoke Cavendish glancing at his watch. “We better get going.” He paused and glanced over at the edge of the roof. “Now just how are we going to get down?”

“I’ve got a rope ladder!” offered Milo.

“Of course you do.”

“Where do you want us to drop you off, kid?” asked Dakota as they started down the ladder. “Want to give the tree lighting ceremony another shot?”

“Nah, I’m good. It’s actually not as amazing as I thought it was. Probably because all I could remember was the fire and that was pretty impressive. Thanks for bringing me here. This was really cool!”

“Yeah, it was. See Cavendish? You worry too much. Everything went--”

The rope ladder snapped, sending the three careening into a snowy bank below. Sitting up, Cavendish removed his smudged glasses and sent Dakota a dry look. “I suppose you were about to say smoothly.”

“Rope ladders are usually sturdier than that,” mused Milo. “Guess I’ll have to get another one. Maybe Mom and Dad will get me one for Christmas.”

Dakota turned to look at Cavendish with a wide smile. “I ever tell you I really like this kid?”

“Several times. And I concur.”

#milo murphy's law #mml #merrymurphyweek #milo murphy #vinnie dakota #balthazar cavendish #milo murphy's law fanfiction #byanimationnut

[ask-sidekick-number-one]

SWEEPO HEADCANON MASTERPOST

~swirlswift -ask-sidekick-number-one •asks

~”Who wants to see me throw my boyfriend?” Is a common question. ~Swirl is uneasy around Robbie, partially due to the fact he listens in on their conversations. ~”I know you said no more animals but I found this raccoon and he’s so cute!” ~Once a month Swirl just randomly leaves for a few days in a row and doesn’t respond to Peepo’s texts, he panics the entire time and when she get’s back she offers no excuse as to where she was. ~-kicking down the door- ”PEEPO I JUST SHAVED MY LEGS, FEEL THEM!” ~Sometimes Swirl is so much like a cat it’s not even funny. She falls asleep in patches of sun, one second she’ll be cuddly as Hell and the next she’ll be hissing at you, and Peepo know’s that if he pets her hair she will purr. ~”STOP GRABBING MY ASS I AM TRYING TO SLEEP…SOCK!” ~Once they were making out and Swirl just pulled away and whispered, “Waluigi and Hallelujah have the exact same syllables.” ~Swirl changes his phone wallpaper any chance she gets, and it’s always related to Shrek the Musical. ~Peepo once woke up to find Swirl staring at him. Since then he’s slept with his back to her. ~”Did you just quote Sharknado while I’m trying to be romantic?” ~Peepo is taller and he teases Swirl for it. ~ Peepo -as he’s slowly turning around-: What do you mean you accidentally set the toilet on fire? ~Swirl -as she’s slowly turning around-What do you mean I have to stop wearing your clothes…just wear the Foxy Grandpa shirt I gave you! ~”…” “…” “…” “…” “…You already know what I’m going to say.” “…” “…” “…Do I?” “STOP SENDING MY BOSS PICTURES OF RANDOM PEOPLES BUTTS, IT’S NOT OKAY!” ~Swirl finds cute blankets with like pictures of the Lion King or something and just puts them on the bed. Peepo just learns to fold them onto her if he doesn’t want to be sweating all night. ~ Swirl once sat on the bed and stared at Peepo with a horrified expression on her face for three hours straight while he worked on stuff, he now sprays her with a water bottle if he ever catches her staring for more than five minutes. ~ “Can I sit here and die?” “Wanna hug?” “…Yes…” “TEDDY!” “NO!” ~ “Shhhut up.” “DO NOT TELL THE POLICE TO SHUT UP!” ~ “I love you.” “I’M KINKSHAMING YOU!” ~ Peepo once kicked Swirl off the bed because he walked in the room one night while she was sleeping and she farted for exactly 46 seconds. He Febreezed that shit. ~Peepo never meets her real dad (Subject to change?) ~ Swirl isn’t her real name ~ They were in Team Aqua at the same time, but she didn’t use the same name and she had a Vapereon named Puddles. ~ Peepo: -SCREAMING THE ENTIRE HAMILTON SOUNDTRACK AT THE TOP OF HIS LUNGS WHILE SWIRL REFUSES TO TAKE OFF HIS SHIRT AND STOP BULLYING ROBBIE, NOT SINGING, SCREAMING- ~ “…Please?” “No.” “Please?” “NO.” “Pretty please with sprinkles on top?” “YOU ARE NOT FILLING ROBBIES LAIR WITH COPIES OF SHREK!” ~ If Peepo ever loses Swirl in a crowd he plays the Kim Possible theme and she comes running. If she ever loses him, she plays the Sonic colors theme and he takes off at the speed of sound. ~Swirl unironically wears Christmas shirts on days other than Christmas, Peepo teases her for it constantly. ~Swirl takes Peepo’s clothes and wears them around, he doesn’t mind this as long as she doesn’t mess them up. ~Peepo always lets her dye his hair, and she always lets him dye hers. ~Sock eventually gets used to Peepo and doesn’t throw him around as much. ~Cuddling is one of their favorite pass times. ~Swirl is capable of throwing Peepo, she will exercise this ability whenever the opportunity arises. ~At least once a week they have to deal with the other grunts playing the Titanic song on a Slide Whistle. ~”NO SWIRL!” Is a common phrase ~Swirl never wakes up without her hair in her face -Despite being taller, when they cuddle, Peepo is the little spoon. This is due to him sleeping very curled up. -‘Pikachu’ eventually starts to view Swirl as a mom, the same way he views Peepo as a dad. -‘Pikachu’ requires the occasional Swirl cuddle as a result. -The reason Gandalf only listens to Peepo is because their psyches are linked with a strong emotional bond. Eventually, due to Peepo and Swirl forming a second emotional bond, he is tangentially linked to Swirl and listens to her. -Peepo wants very badly to call Swirl ‘Swirly’ but is worried she’d get upset. -Over time, when Swirl suggests murder, Peepo’s response shifts from “NO!” to “There she goes again. -Peepo loves to sing and will sometimes sing love songs he likes to Swirl. -Swirl comes home one day and finds Peepo crying. She asks what’s wrong, and after that they have fights over if he’s allowed to have ‘It’s Quiet Uptown’ on his phone or not. -Peepo naruto runs all over the place. Every single time he does so Swirl threatens to break up with him. -Robbie is absolutely disgusted when they show affection but he and Sport kiss in front of Peepo all the time. -Peepo tries to explain that this is a double standard, but Robbie fails to understand. -One time Peepo comes home with a bag full of Sonic shirts. His only explanation is “I like video games.” -Swirl tries to say “Other games exist.” and he responds “I know.” -They use memes to show their love. -Peepo finds an injured Pyukumuku and tries to nurse it back to health without Swirl finding out. -When she does, she doesn’t talk to him for like a week. -Swirl tries to prank him for the first week of April instead of just the first day and he cries because the second is his birthday. -Peepo tries to lay down the law and stop her pranking Robbie. She just has to do puppy dog eyes, though, and he breaks. -Despite always saying he’s fine after getting hurt, he’s super fragile. He just doesn’t want to worry Swirl. -She worries anyways -He makes her soup when she gets sick. It’s completely homemade. -She makes him soup when he gets sick. It’s from a can. •Peepo will kill a guy if they start flirting with Swirl. •Swirl is oblivious to other guys flirting with her, Peepo constantly tries explaining it to her and in the end keeps a hand on her waist when other guys talk to her. If anyone still tries to flirt they catch those hands. •Swirl is super skinny because she’s always moving around and keeping busy and energetic because she eats so much sugar. Peepo has to make sure she doesn’t fall asleep anywhere because she’s lazy at times. Sometimes when she sleeps she talks and he can have little conversations with her and call her nicknames and such. •whenever the other has nightmares, swirl or peepo whispers things absently in their ear in an effort to help before waking them up.

Pokeparenting- ~Swirl spends two hours a day everyday with one Pokemon throughout the week, bonding with them. ~Peepo isn’t thrown around as much by Sock, but he’s hugged twice as much by Teddy. ~Swirl caught Peepo calling himself daddy once when talking to his Pokemon, so from now on when the Pokemon act up she tells them to go see their father. ~Sock and ‘Pikachu’ tend to clash heads, but it’s often Sock who starts them and Cedric to end them. ~Swirl calls Cedric Handsome boy, Gandalf Smart Boy, and ‘Pikachu’ Precious Boy. -Peepo does his best to train Sock, but Sock never listens. He always believes in him, though.
-‘Pikachu’ will ride on either of their heads.
-Gandalf will babysit the Pokémon if necessary, he is the smartest and strongest. Cedric helps.
-Sock stops getting mad when people say Pikachu because it’s said so often.
-Angel and Snowslash will fight about who’s more elegant.

Actual Parenting- ~Peepo is so confused sometimes it’s not even funny, he once mistook baby formula for vinegar and it was horrible. ~The kid likes to climb in their parents bed, Peepo and Swirl just sorta go with it. ~Swirl dresses her kids in clothes from either gender, which confuses others when it comes to what gender the baby actually is. ~“It’s okay baby, mommy cries when her bottle’s empty too.” ~“I’m gonna kill Stacey from the PDA, SHE SAID MY BROWNIES WERE STORE BROUGHT! I SPENT HOURS AND LOTS OF MONEY BUYING THE WEED TO MAKE THOSE BROWNIES!” “Swirl, sweetie, stop screaming I just put the bab- YOU PUT WEED IN THE PDA MEETING BROWNIES?” ~Family Movie Nights commonly end with everybody falling asleep in front of the TV. ~“No you can not Lion King the baby.” ~“STOP LEAVING THE BABIES AT ROBBIES!” -They have 2 kids, a boy and a girl. 
-Peepo does his best, but he didn’t have actual parents for most of his life and doesn’t really know what he’s doing. 
-One of the kids comes home and says he’s being bullied and Swirl just says “kill them” 
-Sock doesn’t throw the kids, he knows he will be locked up in a kennel 
-Cedric and Teddy love to play with the kids

[valheartandfriendsllc]

Talk to Animals and Watch the Amazing Results! How Animal Communication Saved the Lives of 49 Fawns

When you take the time to talk to animals and learn to truly listen and communicate, amazing things happen!

Just read this story about how my ability to talk to animals saved the lives of 49 little orphan fawns—but lost one very special little one.

Little Bobby’s story

Working on staff at Wildlife Rescue & Rehabilitation was an extraordinary experience. I got to be up close and personal with all kinds of wildlife—everything from deer, raccoons, and opossums to owls, panthers, and bears, oh my!

One evening I was heading down the path for fawn feeding time, one of my favorite jobs at the center. I was carrying four big buckets filled to the brim with nursing bottles full of creamy rich “mother’s milk”.

There were at least fifty orphaned fawns, some of them injured, in the large enclosure. Our job was to raise them until they were young adults, then release them safely into areas where they could rejoin existing wild deer herds and hopefully live long happy lives.

On this beautiful evening, as I entered the fawns’ pen, they eagerly ran up and crowded all around me as they always did. It always made my heart so glad to see and connect with these beautiful, innocent, playful creatures.

In my career as a professional animal communicator, I talk to animals all the time—everything from the usual cats and dogs and horses to the more exotic foxes and cougars and monkeys and elephants and so many more! I’d seen a lot by that point. If you can imagine fifty precious little fawns leaping and pushing each other and dancing with excitement to get closer to you!  It was a wonderful experience.

Many were leaping and bouncing above the crowd, trying to affectionately head-butt me like I was their momma. It was so sweet and delightful.

Laughing, I greeted them, patted their beautiful heads and necks, then shooed them away so I could set up their feeders and they could begin eating their dinner.

Do you have what it takes to talk to animals? Find out here.

Talk to animals to improve their health and well-being

I always used this special time with the fawns to inquire as to their health and well-being.

Sometimes they told me stories about their day, or the newest joke or funny story they’d come up with.

Sometimes they asked me questions or wanted to know what I thought about something that was troubling them. I was always amazed at what complex inner lives these precious creatures had—they weren’t just adorable, they were also intelligent, feeling, kind, and thoughtful.

But on this day, something different and unexpected happened, and it scared me.

  Several of the fawns urgently spoke up saying, “Bobby isn’t feeling good! Can you help him please?”

I replied, “Oh no! Yes, of course, I’ll do everything I can to help him. What’s wrong?  Where is he?”

I looked around the enclosure as the light slowly faded to dusk, despairing of ever finding the one little fawn in the large crowd who wasn’t “feeling good”. Then, like the story of Moses parting the red sea, the crowd of fawns opened and one little fawn approached me.  It was Little Bobby.

The others nosed him as he walked by, in support and a show of caring.

It was so loving and sweet!

When he came up to greet me, I kneeled down and asked him to tell me how he was feeling. I asked him when he started feeling bad, how long he’d been feeling that way, and a myriad of questions to help me determine how best to help him feel better. (Once you’ve learned how to talk to animals in the Beginning Core Foundations Course, it’s time to learn the art of asking the right questions in the right time and way when communicating with animals in The Heart Of the Conversation 7 Step Blueprint for Successful Conversations With Animals Course)

He told me he had a headache, and his nose was snotty and runny. He was achy and had a tummy ache too. And sometimes he felt shivery.

Poor little guy, he was miserable.

I patted him and tried to comfort him, then told him I would go to tell Tim, the director. He would know just what to do.

  Can I really talk to animals? Tim’s challenge

I found Tim in the work area and quickly told him the tale. Astonished, he looked at me for a moment with wide eyes—he wasn’t sure he believed I could really talk to animals, but my story was pretty amazing and compelling. And if I was reporting a sick animal, well, he had to look into it.

Challenging me, he asked me to take a can of purple spray dye to mark the ill fawn. I was to go put a mark on his coat so Tim could easily find him in the herd later.

I trudged back to the fawn pen and wondered how I would ever find Bobby again in the dark. The other fawns, as usual, crowded around me and were glad to see me.

I connected with my heart, centered myself, and called for Bobby to come to me, please.

Then I waited…

To my delight, in just a few minutes, here came little Bobby! Trustingly, he walked up and put his head in my hand.

I told him that we were working to find a way to help him feel better, but first, we needed to put a pretty purple mark on his beautiful coat so Tim could find him.

Patiently, Bobby agreed and waited silently while I sprayed the purple dye.

I told the other fawns that Bobby’s purple mark was very special.

Then I explained to Bobby that Tim would be out later to find him and figure out what to do to help him.

And so it was.

When my shift was over, I went home. It was my “weekend” so I got to take a couple of days off work. Every day until I went back to work I prayed for Bobby and communicated with him.

The next workday shift, I looked for him but didn’t find him with the other fawns. When I asked Tim, he said he’d easily found Bobby thanks to the purple mark I’d placed on his coat.

He’d never seen anything like Bobby’s illness in deer before, so he swabbed the inside of his nose and sent the swab to A&M University to be cultured. They were waiting for the results before deciding on a specific course of treatment.

In the meantime, little Bobby was taken to the ill and badly injured fawn pen. I saw him every day and comforted him as best I could, telling him what a brave boy he was.

But sadly, by the time we got the culture back and had a remedy in place, Bobby died.

I grieved his loss, and when I saw the fawns later I told them what had happened. They stood around me, completely silent and respectful. And so we grieved him together, all gathered in a big circle.

The good news was, thanks to the fawns’ willingness to ask me, a human, for help for one of their own, and thanks to Bobby’s courage to seek help and put his life in our hands… and thanks for my ability to talk to animals, he was the only fawn we lost.

The culture came back with a treatment plan and all the other fawns were treated and saved. The fawns, in their intelligence, had known they needed help when they told me what was going on. In talking to me, they had saved themselves.

You too can do good when you talk to animals

In The Heart School of Animal Communication, I teach animal lovers all over the world how to communicate with animals. I can also coach you in the Best Online Animal Talk Coaching & Mastery Club to help you break down your blocks, expand your intuitive abilities, and advance your skills quickly.

Why? I do this so you can really be there when animals need you most.

Learn to speak their language so you can be their hero, their best friend, their confidante, who they come to when they need help

So they can help you by sharing what they know that you don’t yet. In this way, together you can save each other’s lives one day.

The How to Talk to Animals Beginning Core Foundations Course teaches you the basics so you will know how to tune in, connect, send, and receive messages with animals.

I believe every animal caretaker, whether of domestic doggies and kitties and horses, or wild animals like fawns and tigers and bears, must know how to communicate with their charges. This skill will bring their level of care to a new level and will enhance their own experience and learning as well.

In this five-lesson audio course, you’ll learn how to tune in and connect with your heart and mind to intuitively understand what animals are trying to tell you.

If you want to learn at your own pace, in the privacy of your own home and on your own time, this course is for you!

This course changes people’s and animal’s lives every day.

I strongly suggest that if you have not yet started your own epic journey into the wonderful world of animal communication, you begin now.

What if you already have a beginning course?

Then your next step is to discover how to apply your intuitive skills to help heal animals in pain, solve behavior problems, connect and communicate faster, work with groups of animals, prepare for transitions and reconnect in the afterlife.

If you’re ready for the next step on your journey, it’s time to go for the Advanced Animal Talk Mastery Course.

All my courses are fully guaranteed, so there’s no risk.

Much love to you and your furbabies, critters, and fantastical beasties.

Enjoyed this article? Here are three more to help you:

Animal healing: helping an aging dog express her needs. Exploring animal telepathy: How to send a powerful message in 3 easy steps. Where’s the proof? How to know if you can really talk to animals.

The post Talk to Animals and Watch the Amazing Results! How Animal Communication Saved the Lives of 49 Fawns appeared first on Val Heart.

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[brownstonearmy]

2020-01-24: BATTLE CARTS!

July 4 (Saturday morning)

Excitement is in the air as the entire town descends on the athletic fields for the long-awaited Battle Carts Tournament. Our intrepid heroes at SHART have spent the last week or so painstakingly assembling their first attempt at a battle cart. Jangles has helped the party build a pressurized engine that is powered by the chemical reaction between strong acids and the Fartknocker pills. Propelling a cart with an engine allows them to avoid having the cart pulled by horses. It's also tricked out with solid-core grippy wheels, a crow's nest for spell-sniping, a grappling hook and a wrecking ball for maximum destruction.

Dave stops by the contestant's area to wish the party luck and also deliver word that the dinosaur in Robin's care is probably going to be subjected to some sort of city ordinance requiring it to be verified as housebroken. A jovial dwarf named Korbin Glinthammer introduces himself as a member of team Slicks and Stones, the champions from last year's bout. The rest of his team consists of a mute half-orc named Rasmus, a posh-looking gnome called Imelda, and a centaur named Osterleah who is also the team's captain. Korbin hopes his team will win so he can use the prize money to have a huge wedding and marry Osterleah.

Trumpets blare to announce the start of the event. Mayor Shepherd Dunwall takes to the podium and gives his introductory speech. He makes a point of calling out Team Dungwall first, his voice dripping with disdain. Q (who goes by Fuego today) and Lucky wave and flash exaggerated smiles at the mayor, who just glares at them. Maybe it's SHART's team flag that features a chunky raccoon taking a dump on a brick wall? Either way, he announces that the competition will start off with a bang and SHART's Team Dungwall will be face off against Osterleah and Korbin's Team Slicks and Stones.

Another trumpet blast signals the two teams to assemble at opposite ends of the athletic fields and start their charge into battle. Grieg spent much of the last week helping Jangles assemble and test the engine, so he volunteers to drive. Lucky clambers into the crow's nest, Norm is in charge of the wrecking ball, and Q/Fuego controls the Fire Hose. Slicks and Stones is rocking a catapult that heaves 100 lb stones, an oil slick sprayer, a harpoon launcher, and an angry centaur who is literally carrying the whole team. Team Dungwall's cart thunders to life with a massive fart sound that elicits cheers from the crowd. The vehicular dance of (not quite) death begins!

Lucky, from her vantage point in the crow's nest is able to strike first. She triggers a wild surge and casts Erupting Earth at the ground underneath the opposing cart. Every time she casts a spell, a random animal sound comes out of her: this time, it's the scream of a hawk. Dirt and stone explode from below and damage the vulnerable underbelly of Slick's cart. Chaos befalls the opposing team as a wheel breaks away from the cart and a chunk of rock lodges itself in the bearing that lets the cart pivot. Osterleah has trouble navigating the difficult terrain, but continues her charge toward Team Dungwall. Korbin shoves Imelda out of the way to catapult a large stone into Team Dungwall's cart. The Mayor is munching on fair food, watching Team Dungwall get clobbered with great satisfaction.

The impact wedges the stone into the controls of the grappling hook station, requiring it to be removed before the grappling hook can be activated. Q/Fuego casts Vicious Mockery on Rasmus, criticizing him for his apparent lack of strength. Rasmus takes the insult pretty hard, while Norm readies the wrecking ball as the cart approaches the range in which it can successfully clobber folks. Back up in the crow's nest, Lucky casts Chaos Bolt and meows like a cat. Lightning hits the wheels of Slick's cart, but it's grounded out by the metal bits on the cart and only manages to leave a few superficial scorch marks. Q/Fuego makes another attempt at Vicious Mockery, this time at Osterleah, but it fails.

Rasmus sprays a massive oil slick into the immediate path of Team Dungwall, but the solid-core grippy wheels keep the cart moving straight as Grieg drives through the spray. Korbin tries to dislodge the rock from the steering pivot, but can't quite reach it. Imelda shoves him aside and frees the jam with her nimble fingers. Lucky casts suggestion on Osterleah and tells her that she needs to stop her cart and propose to Korbin. Osterleah's already planning on proposing, and the suggestion isn't quite enough to trigger an immediate halt. Lucky makes horse sounds this time and Osterleah isn't pleased.

By this time, both carts are pretty banged up. Dungwall's cart is still unable to use their grappling hook and has a wheel that's barely hanging on. Slicks and Stones has already lost a wheel and they are dangerously close to losing a second wheel. Q/Fuego breaks out their Didgeriboop and casts Hypnotic Pattern in an attempt to incapacitate the entire opposing team. The plan almost succeeds, but Imelda manages to avoid the effects and starts rousing her teammates from the spell.

Norm takes a calculated risk and jumps onto the wrecking ball itself. He's hoping to launch himself toward the opposing cart, getting close enough to throw his dagger into the wheel that's about to break off. The arc of the wrecking ball gets him in range, and but the dagger ends up passing through the spokes of the wheel. Lucky has a backup plan, though: she uses a combination of her halfling luck and the spell Catapult to launch the dagger through a series of improbable ricochets before getting lodged in the wheel and breaking both the dagger and the wheel in the process.

That's the second wheel that Slicks and Stones has lost, which renders their cart undriveable and Team Dungwall the de facto winners. Also Lucky had to make another animal sound. No one's sure exactly what it was supposed to sound like. What does the fox say, anyway?

The rest of the competition is fun, but it's clear from the crowd's reaction that the morning match between Dungwall and Slicks and Stones was the highlight of the day. Lucky gets Norm another dagger to replace the destroyed one as the team watch the rest of the match. At the end of the day, Team Dungwall clenches the title of Audience Favorite... Except there's a little problem with the award ceremony. Some of the event organizers report that the Mayor fled the scene with the guarded wagon containing all the trophies and the prize money. Time to get what's owed!

Following an intermittent trail of small denomination coins, the party ends up outside the mayoral manor. Manuela Ferguson, one of the city administrators whom Norm knows from his time on the police force, is hyperventilating near the entrance. The party demands to see the mayor or at least get the prize money, and Manuela reports that Mayor Dunwall is indisposed. After more prodding, Manuela agrees to go check with the mayor and slams the door on the party's faces before they can come inside. Lucky sneaks around to the opposite side of the building and discovers Manuela trying to sneak away. While Manuela says she's merely taking the most direct path to the treasure wagon, it's clear her excuse is pretty flimsy. She eventually admits to trying to flee the scene and tells the party that they can meet with the mayor at their own risk if they want, but she's leaving for the day to take a mental health day.

Lucky reports back to the party what just happened, and they walk with purpose through the house all the way to the mayor's office. Except the mayor isn't there and the whole place smells like dirty horses. Behind the mayor's desk is a giant (for an insect anyway) dung beetle rolling a bunch of horse manure into a satisfying sphere on the office's plush carpet. And then the dung beetle starts talking.

It's still Mayor Dunwall, but he's much happier to see SHART than he usually is. He admits that the "old" Mayor Dunwall was pretty unfair to the party and that he really respects what the party does. In fact, now that Mayor Dunwall is a beetle, he's happier than he's ever been before. He even promises that he'll pass an executive order to restore funding to SHART... Oh, and he asks the party to pick up some exotic poop for him, you know, as a personal favor. The mayor tells the party where to find the treasure wagon (right out back!) and a slightly-bewildered Team Dungwall heads back to athletic fields just in time for the awards ceremony.

The party takes the podium and are lauded with praise and awards. They receive championship belts, a cartload of money, an unusual magic weapon from Salem's called Knucklebasher, and an assortment of horse feed and vegetables sponsored by the Brownstone Vegetarian Society. Hilaria gives Lucky a victory kiss and offers congratulations to the party, but the ceremony soon turns bittersweet. Kalani makes an appearance, thanking the party for giving them a chance and apologizing that they weren't able to get a proper bath before making this announcement, but Kalani has decided to follow their own path and learn more information about the Mask of the Woodlands and the druid who created it. Tearful farewells are had.

As the evening winds to a close, Lucky makes an emergency stop at Antiquities and Iniquities to talk to Miss Mavis. Lucky's had a wild surge that somehow turned the Mayor into a dung beetle. Miss Mavis tries to console Lucky and promises to help her investigate this peculiar wild surge. And Miss Mavis pledges to help keep her safe if ever someone comes snooping for information about the person that transformed the mayor.

Stay tuned next time for more!

#shits and giggles #Dungeons and Dragons #5e #adventure log #battle cart #dung beetle #fishdavidson