#and so we draw things in me and other fat peoples likeness we think like

[cherrysnax]

when I was a kid I was rlly upset that art teachers didn’t like anime-inspired art, and then I realized it wasn’t the anime aspect. jumping into highly stylized art without knowing the fundamentals AND with a refusal to learn them is a bad combo

#I’m noticing now that a lot of artists don’t do professional critiques anymore #I think it’s a reaction to how people treat beginner artists #and a lot of ppl don’t know that u can draw for like a decade and still be a beginner artist #ppl are cruel #those cringe videos where ppl just took ppls ocs and harrassed n bullied them were so fucked up #that doesn’t mean that artist should be untouchable #I remember the great Miguel gender end debate #where they took miggy from being a tall brown man with heavy wrinkles full lips a defined nose and head shape #and made him a lightly tanned skinny white girl #most genderbends are boring to me for that reason #ppl got mad #some more than others and a bunch of professional artists defended the ppl who did all the whitewashing n shit #but nary a word when artist of colour BLACKz IM TALKING ABT BLACK ARTISTS #get harrassed en masse. or ppl watching spiderverse tryna draw POC for the first time #and uh. drawing them badly. and it’s one thing if it’s a beginner or a kid and a few features are wrong #proportions are hard. that’s not the problem. there’s a difference between a mistake and a choice #someone being able to draw amazing pieces but choosing to white wash choosing to make fat characters thin #we know the difference. or god when nb artists tried tell black ppl how our skin works #but yeah. I think ppl are rightly sensitive to criticism because of the internet I think we’re just swinging in the wrong direction of #NO CRITIQUE EVER. Speaking of I wanna find that blog that does red-lining submissions

[yardsards]

"falin isn't fat in canon (so stop unduly giving this series credit for fat representation in her case)": a very fair point! it *is* honestly a bit concerning that people are so conditioned by media to think stick-thin is the norm that they think medium-sized bodies are fat. and i've seen some very good points about how almost every character we see that has a heavier build is just like that because their race is naturally more stocky, and that almost no characters in this story are "overweight" by their race's standards. so while this story is much better than a lot of others with its body diversity, there are still some things that it could do better.

"falin isn't fat in canon (so stop drawing her fat)": your ignorance astounds me and your foolishness knows no bounds. i could fill libraries with the things you don't know on this subject. every time you bitch about this i give her another roll.

#eliot posts #dunme #dungeon meshi #delicious in dungeon #falin touden

[aidaronan]

"First movie you ever saw in theaters?" Steve lounged opposite of Robin on the couch in his living room, the stereo on low, spitting out Madonna on the local radio station.

"Oh, that's easy." Robin bit off part of a licorice. "Freaky Friday. I remember because I was terrified for weeks that I'd end up switching places with my mom and have to, like, balance a checkbook or something."

Steve laughed, separating m&ms in his hand. "You still don't know how to balance a checkbook, do you?"

"Like you do." Robin playfully glared at him. "Okay, here's a good one. First kiss."

Steve ate the sole blue m&m first, a grin spreading across his face because he usually lied about his first kiss, but he didn't have to. Not with Robin. "Camp Stronghold when I was nine. We met up in the boathouse after lights out to trade contraband."

"Contraband, huh?" Robin raised her brows.

"Candy. I swear my parents loaded me up like I was going to prison. 'This is as good as cash in there, Steven.' I think my dad wanted me to network or something. Because, you know, I was totally gonna start a small business with a group of eight-year-olds."

Robin snickered. "And the kiss?"

"Ah. I didn't actually want candy. I just wanted this kid to like me so bad, and I didn't know why until we were there in the dark tripping into each other because we couldn't see. I had all these butterflies, and we were standing close enough that I could feel the heat off his sunburn in the air." Steve could still picture it. The way he couldn't see more than a few inches in front of his face. "Then he kissed me, just this quick peck on the lips before he turned tail and ran. I left the boathouse with a Snickers and one massive first crush."

"Did anything else happen?" Robin asked.

"No. It was the last week of camp and I think he freaked himself out over it. I don't know. He didn't even really say bye to me after we climbed off the bus to meet our parents. Never saw him again. I honestly never even thought to get his name."

"That sucks."

"Yeah. I just hope he's doing okay, you know? That he's got people in his life that make him feel like he's allowed."

Robin looked at him softly, reaching out to give his ankle a squeeze. "Hey, you never know. You might run into him again someday. Maybe he's your soulmate or something."

"Please. I think you're pretty obviously my soulmate." Steve nudged Robin with his foot. "But I guess he could settle for 2nd place."

"Oh, there's a toast for sure." Snacks tumbling off her lap, Robin reached for her can of Coke on the coffee table and raised it as high as she could reach. "To both of us finding our 2nd places."

"Cheers to that." Steve thrust his own Coke into the air.

____

It felt like a big cosmic joke that Steve would be in a boathouse when he realized who Eddie Munson had been all that time. Eddie had looked so different when he'd transferred into Hawkins that Steve had never even given him a second look, not during their shared classes, not during any of those cafeteria tirades. Not during the numerous occasions where he gave the kids rides to D&D.

"Wait, wait, wait, wait!"

It was the eyes that finally pulled back the curtain and cut away all those in-between years. Steve had never been close enough to clock them, but he couldn't deny them now. Not at such close range, Eddie holding a broken bottle against his neck, trembling with so much fear that Steve worried he might actually use it.

Dropping the oar from his own shaking hands, Steve said the only thing he could think to say.

"Well, this brings back memories."

Eddie didn't respond, the fear in the air drawing out every second, making it feel infinite. Behind them and in another universe, Dustin said a bunch of stuff Steve barely heard for the pounding in his ears. He watched beads of sweat roll down Eddie's forehead and waited for something to give.

Like clouds fat with rain, Eddie finally broke open, tension draining out of him, arm and weapon dropping to his side. He exhaled a shaky breath, maintaining eye contact, his expression too complicated for Steve to fully read.

Steve was about to say something else when Eddie finally spoke, cocking his head to the side and leveling Steve with a look.

"And here I spent all these years thinking you forgot."

#steddie #ficlet #mine #long post #first kisses

[lanymme]

i think a lot about how people within the arknights world think about things like horns, ears, and tails as body parts.

we know beeswax's whole thing where she has model-beautiful horns and a bunch of horn care products and gives other operators horn care tips.

it's treated like hair, right? like she has a hair care hobby? and good for her and all that.

right? right.

okay, but tails.

the thick tail/thin tail factions in acahualla are in the same vein as people talking about what kind of butt is best, right? people talk about tails like they talk about someone's thighs or butt?

right? we agree on that?

so tomimi's prodigious tail would be seen by people on terra as like. equivalent to her having a ludicrously big ass? yes? like that's what we're supposed to take home from her up-from-behind E2 art?

do you think people on the landship talk about her with the same kind of hushed awe as, say, utage?

"i swear to god it's true, there's a 4'7" archosaurian girl who's no less than 50% tail walking around rhodes island, you've gotta believe me" is a phrase that has definitely been spoken by at least one short-term oripathy patient upon returning to their community, right? like we can agree on this?

imagine with me if u will. a hobby artist on Rhodes Island--perhaps, for example, known terminally online loser and partially closeted 2chan poster kirara--on her tablet designing a ditzy, clumsy OC who, oops! just can't stop knocking things over with her big, fat tail! and then posting it to her pixiv account, getting clowned on by people on the intercity net for drawing exaggerated unrealistic female bodies, and making a bunch of vagueposts on twitter about how riajuu can't appreciate an otaku's understanding of true beauty, only to step outside her room for the first time that week so she can go to medical for a routine oripathy checkup where she witnesses doctor gavial's goth yandere shortstack childhood friend knock a bunch of expensive equipment off a table and get spanked repeatedly on her IRL hyper tail, and then she immediately starts crying tears of blood.

#arknights #tomimi #kirara #and the consequences of the great tail debate

[art]

Creator Spotlight: @jijidraws

Jiji Knight is a latina pinup illustrator. Her work is overall geared toward thick ladies and dedicated to fat positivity out of a purely selfish need to create art she wished she had seen growing up. She often features sexy and soft macabre themes on vibrant or sweet colours and takes great joy in making folx feel good about themselves with her work. She holds a Bachelor of Fine Arts in Illustration and operates out of her very sunny hometown of Las Vegas.

Check out our interview with Jiji below!

Have you ever had an art block? If so, how did you overcome it?

Oh my gosh… I have art blocks all the time. My favorite way of overcoming it is by making fanart. Funnily enough, that’s something I don’t do in my own work anymore. But there are still IPs I return to that still bring joy to my heart. I love returning to drawing Sailor Moon like when I was in first grade. Or I’ll even look up the last fashion week and start drawing the fashion week outfits from the Paris or New York show. Stuff like that is what gets my creative juices flowing.

What medium have you always been intrigued by but would never use yourself?

Resin. Resin art is so stunning. People make the most amazing and beautiful sculptures using resin, and I don’t think I could ever bring myself to play with something so complicated. There are a lot of ways to cure it, and sometimes, it doesn’t cure properly…I already work with enough chaos as it is! I respect resin artists, but I don’t think I would ever touch it. I’ve admired it from a distance. There is an artist I follow who does these resin layer paintings. So they’ll paint a layer of resin, then cure it, and paint on top of the cured layer. They build up these amazing paintings using resin…I could never. Maybe one day!

What is one interaction you had with a fan of yours that has stuck with you over the years?

I still remember…It was my first and only Flame Con in New York. I had a fan come up to my booth. They didn’t say hello or that it was nice to meet me. They started to cry! They cried, and the first words out of their mouth were, “I’ve never seen myself in artwork before.” So, of course, I started to cry! So we were just crying across the table at each other. It was just one of the sweetest interactions, and it really sticks with me still to this day.

What is a recent creative project that you are proud of?

My latest collaboration with the artist Missupacey. We’ve been collaborating for two years now, and our last collaboration was for Midsummer Scream. It was two very cute clown girls, and I designed our T-shirt. It was one of the most fun projects we’ve done in a long time. We love doing collaborative work because it keeps working in the art industry fresh—being able to bounce ideas back and forth. So we do it where someone picks the color palette, and someone picks a theme. We’ll get references together, put them on a big board, and send each other sketches. It’s really nice to work with somebody else.

How has technology changed the way you approach your work?

Honestly, it changed everything. I mean, I used to draw for myself a lot. And while I still do that, I now predominantly draw for my Patrons. For a while, I was drawing for the internet. So I was drawing stuff people wanted to see in terms of plus-sized versions of characters—a plus-sized Poison Ivy or a plus-sized Sailor Moon. My Patrons have allowed me to start drawing for myself again. But technology, for a while, essentially dominated what direction I was taking with my art, so I’m grateful to take some of that power back.

If there is one thing that you want art enthusiasts to remember you by, what would it be?

Body positivity. I would love for them to remember that there is an artist making work that is making people feel good about themselves and about the way they look at themselves.

Top tips on setting up an Artist Alley booth?

Have a method of taking money, have a method of displaying your work, and have a way to take a break. I have a plastic picnic cover that costs like a dollar at any store. All I have to do is clip it to my display grates, and it covers up my entire display. I feel secure enough to take time for myself in a 10-hour workday to eat something, go to the restroom, or even take a moment to breathe and reorganize my inventory. So it’s so funny that this one-dollar piece of plastic is like the most life-saving item in my display of items.

Who on Tumblr inspires you and why?

@mayakern comes to mind. She is another body-positive artist who expanded into making body-positive clothing. She’s amazing, and just to see someone else out there promoting body positivity. Maya’s been doing it longer than I have, I believe. It feels good to know that I’m not alone. Her work is always stunning, and I love her body-positive DnD characters and the fact that she’s still plowing through the clothing industry. For example, she’s expanded from skirts to button-downs and even custom-wrap shirts. I love to see what she’s doing, and it inspires me to pursue different avenues with my own work.

Thank you so much for stopping by and sharing, Jiji! Be sure to check out their Tumblr blog over at @jijidraws.

#creator spotlight #artists on tumblr #jijidraws

[bogleech]

For me the most disappointing thing about Palworld is the designs being so boring and bland that you'll never have cause to review them. We deserve better from a creature collecting game, especially one making this much money!

Yeah here's the most opinion I can possibly muster on any of them:

DUMUD: it's a big fat shark-like mudskipper and that's a good concept, it just doesn't really have the charm of any Pokemon it shares anything in common with.

WUMPO: resembles the fur-wearing "werewolf" pokemon that got cut from the first or second generation, crossed with Tangrowth. One of the more okay designs because those are two good pokemon.

SIBELYX: this is supposed to be their Gardevoir I guess and I think it's an owl? Or is it a moth? Well it ends up one of the slightly cooler looking ones a little less obviously derivative of specific pokemon. Maybe they were also going for a Dimitrescue knockoff with the hat

CAWGNITO: an alright one because plague doctors just generally look cool. However the simple formula of plague doctor + actual bird would have been far too obvious and underwhelming as a Pokemon. There's no novelty or twist to this.

HANGYU: this is the one that's a ghostly noose canonically used to execute people. It's a funny little send-up of the darker pokemon pokedex entries, though the design is uninspired compared to object-based creatures in Pokemon, Digimon or any other monster franchise I can think of.

LOVANDER: this is one that fucks people, and they possibly borrowed the topography of Salazzle's official model. I want to think they did intend it to be freaky and unwholesome looking with the rubbery goblin hands, but I suspect they intended something actually sexy by furry monsterfucker standards and just weren't good at it. Yes I know that likely does not stop people from being into it anyway.

TEAFANT: I was going to say this is the only pal that looks better than its closest equivalent Pokemon, because they would be Cufant, and I gave Cufant a pretty negative review back in the day.

......But actually, now I kind of like Cufant. A lot, come to think of it! Teafant is cute and competent in the most paint-by-numbers possible way. It's what almost anyone would draw in ten seconds if asked to make a cute marketable teacup elephant pokemon. Cufant is an awkward, messy design but it is comparatively cute in a goofy, dorky way that's rare among the Pals, and more importantly, it is unique. I don't think they used AI to generate any Palworld models (the tech isn't there yet) but I can see why people assume they used AI just to get the initial ideas, because it's very easy to find people who have more a more creative eye for character design. I'd say even if not ESPECIALLY people with zero experience in art would have made the Pals look more interesting.

#palworld #pokemon

[zan0tix]

Hi tumblr user Zan0tix, I have to say that I love that you draw Jake as big and hairy AND fem. It's such a rare combination outside of mean-spirited caricatures, every time I see your Jake I get a big smile on my face. :)

Hi tumblr user HermitCyclop ^u^ here is a jake drawing for you 🫶

The transmisogynistic demonisation of these features is so maddening!!! I agree! Im glad that the intent (appreciating these features) of my jake design reaches you c:

GOING TO PUT IT UNDER THE CUT BECAUSE I HAVE SO MUCH TO SAY. But jake english gender meta because i think about it Too Much and am taking this as an excuse to infodump abt it. 😁

The alpha kids and their specific defiance of both homestucks gendered narrative AND real life societal expectations are so fun to think about to me!! but since we are talking about jake, his specific defiance of both homestucks models of masculinity and femininity in the context of his queerness is like the reason he is my fav character.

He props himself up that he wants to be the adventure "hero" in the homestuck sense (the hardheaded blue femme fatale) and the western media sense (the hardheaded action man) yet whenever pressed to actually act on what he says he always refuses or obfuscates. Because really what he wants is to just be himself! I really love the alpha kids because they all just want to be Themselves, not be restricted and defined by what is expected of them, (all the characters have this but the alphas particularly really hammer this home for me)

The heavy emphasis on their beta selves, the heteronormative archetypes they embodied and what went wrong in their lives that manifest as fears in their alpha selves... im always thinking about it. How differently society affects queer ppls choices in life and then the fact that they all get a second chance and getting to watch them live out that second chance and realize their queerness and them all caring so much abt eachother and wanting to aspire to be better FOR the ones they love!!!!!! it always tugs at my heart strings to ponder😢😢

IM SO GOOD AT GOING ON TANGENTS MY BAD but basically. The alpha kids explicit queerness and how despite the comic itself protesting, they are all shown to be deserving of love (of all kinds) And as a person who super heavily relates to jake, his experience with his own identity (and dirks unending adoration and love for him and likewise jakes belief and admiration of dirk) serves to me as a reminder that yknow! We are all worthy of love!! Even if we dont think ourselves to be (this is just the message of shrek.) and there is always hope to be found in things improving!!!!

But in a text thats explicitly queer and not shy about letting its queer characters do wrong in realistic ways i think this message is incredibly powerful and certainly one of the best things about the comic in my eyes. And i love embracing that in my art of the characters! Drawing queer (but here specifically trans) characters all getting to be proud of themselves and their appearances makes me feel proud of myself alongside them and I think its wonderful to be able appreciate other trans peoples experiences and looks through it too!!

I specifically in homestuck fandom dont really see anybody but twinks (usually dirk or eridan LMFAO) portrayed to be fem in any manner 😢 when jake is the most explicitly feminine man in the comic. (I think the transmisogyny thats kind of rampant in this fandom means people dont want to consider those outside conventional attractiveness being feminine or transfem identities outside binary transwomen if even that😭😭) I am being the change i wana see in the world 🙏 The amount of transfem fat gay bear jake in the world increases by one every time i post

#hermitcyclop #daniel talks #my art #jake english #DONT LET ME TALK ABOUT JAKE ENGLISH I WILL NOT STOP. I COULD KPEP GOING BUT ITS MIDNIGHT AND I NEED SLEEP. #But thank you for the ask hermitcyclop you are the most dedicated dirkjaker mad respect 🫶 years in the game and still around.. you are cray

[ash5monster01]

Learning to Love Part 3

Pairing: Rafe Cameron x FemReader!PlusSize

Warnings: 18+, langauge, angst, fluff, mentions of bullying, body image issues, fat shaming, fake relationship, eventual smut, minor enemies to lovers trope.

Summary: It's not uncommon for you to be shamed for your size, it is however uncommon to be told that no one would ever date you because of it. Rafe on the other hand is used to being called a jerk, that is until he is accused of seeing people for only what's on the surface. It's purely coicidental you two meet right after these accusations are thrown your way. So even though you two don't know each other, and probably never would've looked the others way before this, now you're both going to prove a point. It's simple really, prove others wrong and don't fall in love. Easier said than done.

word count: 3.9k

Part 2 ←→ Part 4

Masterlist

When Rafe said work event the last thing you had pictured was this. You should’ve considering the dress he had sent over to your apartment. Yet now here you were, standing in a cocktail dress a vibrant cherry red. It dipped deep down into your chest and the skirt flowed out from the waist which was perfect for hiding your stomach. It was something you would’ve picked for yourself and somehow Rafe had done just that. Now he walked into the hotels grand ballroom, you latched onto his arm, while he wore another suit looking handsome as ever, and smiling at everyone he passed. Either he didn’t notice the looks they gave both of you or he was ignoring them. You were to nervous to care.

"Breath" his voice invading your space makes you jump slightly and you look up to him and his permanent smirk. Rafe admires this new side of you, one that isn't in a bathing suit or jeans and T-shirt. Your makeup is done to perfection, eyes sparkling up into his own, and the dress you wore accentuated how perfect all of you was. Rafe wished you could see that, he wished you didn't think he thought less of you. Yet how could you believe any different when he was dating you to prove he could date unattractive women. He's lucky you hadn't slapped him but when he considers the reasons why you didn't he realizes that is what you believe. That you are unworthy of a guy like him. He wished you knew he was nothing special.

"I'll breath once I have a drink" you tell him, clutching tightly to his arm. His warm laugh escapes past his lips and unexpected to you he leans down and presses a sweet kiss to your forehead. With a face now as red as your dress you desperatley need that drink more than before.

"Let's hit the bar sweetheart" he tells you and you don't disagree as he leads you that way, arm slipping free of your own and snaking around your waist. You hate that getting closer to him comforts you so you focus on your destination and prepare the get tipsy enough to make it through the night. You allow Rafe to order your drinks as you nervously scan across the crowd of many good looking and professional people.

"Listen, I know this is a lot" Rafe says as he places your drink in your line of sight, stopping your anxious watching. His sentence hangs like you know there is more coming so you take a quick gulp and turn to face him. "But you're comfortable with me, that's what this whole week as been about. So just pretend it's one of those nights, you and me, no one else"

"Sounds easy enough" you tell him and Rafe smiles, stepping more into your personal space and pushing your curled hair behind your ear, the hair Mila had spent an hour doing while gushing about the date you had planned.

"It is, we don't care about what these people think" he tells you and you chuckle and sip from your drink.

"Isn't that the whole point?" and your words sting because your right. Hadn't Rafe done all of this because he cared about what these people think? You don't miss the sad look on his face, the way his eyebrows draw together.

"Not anymore" he says and you aren't entirely sure what he means by that, but based on the way he swirls his straw in his drink you know there is so much more going on behind the eyes of the beautiful boy in front of you. "My sister doesn't talk to me anymore"

"What?" this sentence from Rafe comes out of no where and you look to him to see pain for the first time running through his features.

"My sister Sarah. When we were young we were close but when we got older I pushed her away. I hated her because I knew she was my Dad's favorite. I fought so hard to get the same treatment he gave her and in the middle of it all I ended up losing my sister. Now my Dad is gone and the damage between me and her is impossible to repair. So I don't want to spend the rest of my life pleasing others while pushing people away. So yes we're here to make a point but it has everything to do with me and nothing to do with you" this is the most information about Rafe's personal life you had ever gotten. Your heart yearns for him in a way different than it has all week. It's the moment you realize your feelings for him were moving from silly little crush to something real. Without responding you step forward and wrap your arms around his waist. Rafe accepts the hug, squeezing you just as close.

"I bet you can fix it, it may take time but the good thing about life is you always have room to heal" Rafe loves your optimism and when you pull away it's him who takes you by surprise by leaning down and pecking a kiss to your lips. As your brain tries to process what exactly just happened a man approaches the both of you.

"Rafe, happy to see you here" the smirk on this mans face is different from the one Rafe wears. This one is sly, like he knows something you don't and it makes you hate it.

“You too Levi, hey this is Y/N” Rafe says as he gives him a firm handshake and you quickly put a wide smile on your face, looking to the boy now named Levi.

“Y/N huh, where’d you find this loser?” he nods his head towards Rafe, taking your hand into his own and giving it a firm shake. His actions seem kind, the gesture and teasing joke, but you can see it in his eyes. He’s wondering why the hell Rafe would walk in here with a girl like you.

“My bar, in his defense he didn’t quite know it was mine until after we hit it off” you come back quickly, matching his practiced performance because the last thing you were going to do today was let a little man with a big complex undermine you.

“Your bar, interesting. Where’s that?” he asks, his arms crossing over his chest and you can see the amusement in his eyes. How he already thinks less of you.

“He just wants to know so he can add another place to the list of bars he can drink at during his lunch break” Rafe swoops in, arm wrapping around your waist and your thankful he’s standing on your side of enemy lines.

“He says that like he doesn’t come with me” Levi says more towards you than him and you laugh even though you don’t want to give him the satisfaction.

“Well I’m sure you’ve heard of my place, Skull Dive” something flashes behind Levi’s eyes. More than likely recognition.

“We go there for lunch often, great food, cute waitresses” Levi says the last part more directed towards Rafe and you now realize Levi was one of the men with Rafe that called Callie unattractive. Asshole.

“I’m happy to hear it” you tell him even though you’re ready to punch him and based on the way you’ve tensed against Rafe he knows it too.

“We’re going to find a table, nice talking with you Levi” Rafe butts in before his idiotic friend can add anymore and Levi pretends to be disappointed as you grab your drinks and walk away.

“Enjoying yourself yet?” Rafe asks with a teasing tone and you roll your eyes, sipping the rest of your drink back in one gulp.

“A few more of these and a little less assholes and I will be” you grin at him and he smiles, giving your waist a squeeze as you approach a table. Rafe pulls out your chair and kisses your cheek like the gentleman he is before grabbing your glass and excusing himself to get more drinks. You take this time to scan the room around you, now a little less intimidated knowing most of the poeple here were just like Levi. Too cocky for their own good and missing out on the true point of life, to just enjoy it, not be the best.

"You're new" the voice startles you as a blonde girl slides into the chair across from you. She is one of the prettiest girls you've ever actually seen in real life. Her hair flows down her whole back, blue eyes so bright you're pretty sure they're peircing straight through you, and she's so small she must wear a size 0. Hence why she's in the most form fitting royal blue mermaid dress you've ever seen. Not a roll is visible on her and suddenly you're more self consious than you were before. Yet she smiles at you with the firendliest smile you've seen all night so you pull yourself together.

"Yeah, I guess I am" you smile at her even though you can't help but realize she is the kind of girl Rafe should really be here with.

"It's so nice having a fresh face around here, I'm AJ. I work in marketing and these events are such a drag" she's bubbly, energetic, and kind. She has it all, you wonder what kind of good she has done in her past lives to have it all in this one.

"I'm Y/N, I'm here with my date-" but you're cut short when Rafe scoots the chair out beside you and sets the fresh drink in front of you. AJ's eyes widen only slightly before shooting a wide smile at him.

"Mr. Cameron, quite the date you have Y/N" there is a weight to her words that you wish you knew what it meant.

"AJ we've talked about this" Rafe says with familiarity and jealousy burns in your stomach at the sight of them. So picture perfect. Movie star perfect.

"What ever do you mean Mr. Cameron?" she says in a teasing and flirty tone, she leans foreward, chin resting on her hand. Rafe recognizes the flirting and does what any good boyfriend, fake boyfriend would do.

"AJ here has known me since highschool and has now taken to referring to me as Mr. Cameron instead of Rafe. It drives me nuts" he tells you, hand reaching to squeeze your own, and you're comforted only slightly but entirely aware there is a history there.

"He's a CEO of a company now Y/N, he should wear the title proudly" and the way Rafe stiffens beside you tells you everything you need to know about how he feels on this subject.

"I'm sure he does, but as a boss myself it is hard to hear people who were once your peers refer to you as some heirachy. Makes you feel more normal to keep things more on a first name basis" you say, squeezing Rafe's hand back and he smiles wide like in just a single moment you've understood entirely how he felt about this.

"Rafe was the king of our class, nothing new to him" she teases but you know he doesn't see it that way, that this was a part of the same past he was trying to move on from.

"And AJ was the wild and free one" he shoots back and she just grins, eyes sparkling with a lifetime you had never dared to live before. You played things safe because risk would just get you walked all over.

"I still am Rafe, still am" she says as she pushes herself to stand again and you try not to admire how perfect she is, knowing all the men looked on for her tiny waist and large chest.

"Sounds like something your boss shouldn't know about" he teases but there's a sharp edge to his voice, one that say he doesn't want her messing around here anymore.

"Well it was nice meeting you Y/N, goodluck with this one" and before you can return the pleasantries she has turned and gone with a sway of her hips, shiny white teeth flashing smiles at everyone she passes. When she's a safe enough distance away you sneak a glance at the boy beside you just to see he is already staring back with a soft smile.

"I'm pretty sure you're the only person here that I like right now" he says and you can't help the blush that flushes your cheeks. So far you both had been fighting against people who more than likely would never understand you both, you were an alliance.

"You sure? AJ here seemed to know you pretty well. I'd almost say it seems like you've dated before" it was teasing but also curiosity, a need to know if Rafe had gone from a supermodel girl to you.

"We did, a long time ago" that is the answer you're looking for but regret it almost instantly considering the way it sears your heart in two.

"And it didn't work out. She seemed nice enough, just a bit ditzy" you say and he shrugs, tapping his ring against the whiskey glass in his hand.

"We didn't really connect we mostly just-" but his words hang in the air and you realize how that sentence was supposed to end. Slept together. Two good looking people with mutual attraction, pleasuring the other. No strings attached, simple good fun, something you had never dared to do. Anyone you had ever revealed yourself to had to fight to earn your trust and even then it depends on if they were patient enough to wait. You figured it was something you'd never be comfortable with. "Look it doesn't matter, she doesn't matter"

"Yeah, we're just here to have fun" you say and he nods, eyes shining into your own.

"Exactly" he says picking up his glass and clinking it against your own, and he smiles before you both dump back the rest of your drinks. This one was for fake dating and getting drunk enugh to pretend that you ever have a chance with someone like Rafe because if he had slept with a girl like AJ he would never downgrade to you. That was something you'd just have to learn to be okay with but until then, at least you could get drunk.

Which is exactly what you end up doing. By the end of the night you've had more drinks than you can count and Rafe being ever the gentlemen that he was he did too. Actually went drink for drink with you which was surprising considering owning a bar had made you quite good at holding your liqour. It made you wonder what kind of expeirience he had with it to be able to keep up with you. Majority of the people had filed out, only a few stragglers and the two of you giggling at each other even though neither of you were saying anything really funny.

"We can't drive home" Rafe giggles beside you and you agree, noting how there is twice as many candles on the table then there was before. You hadn't been this drunk in a while.

"Can we go swimming?" your question causes him to snort in laughter but he realizes fairly quickly that you're serious. You hands are pulling at the straps of your dress like its stuffy in here and the movement causes his eyes to dip down the deep cut of your dress, cleavage on perfect display, and suddenly he was so very thirsty. He needed something before he was smothering his face in the softness of your chest.

"You can't swim here unless you have a room" he tells you, arms wrapping around your chair and pulling you close to him. With your legs now touching you can't help but thnk about the warmth radiating from him and how strong he was for pulling you close.

"Sounds like that solves both of our problems" you say and he knows it isn't meant to come out suggestive but in a way you did just suggest getting a hotel room with him.

"You want to get a hotel room with me?" he asks, eyebrows raised and you smile innocently at him.

"Sure" you giggle and he knows you don't hear any meaning behind these words, that you're just as drunk as him. He wishes sober that you would agree to get a hotel room with him, that you would believe it was possible to do so with him. He knows that you don't think he's attracted to you but he was the moment you sat down next to him and after getting to know you all week he was even more. He had been so upset with himself over knowing he had spent his whole life dating girls he thought he was supposed to be attracted to when after all looks had nothing to do with it. You were just as beautiful as the next person, just as beautiful as AJ, and he wished more than anything that he could take you up to that hotel room and show you that for real. Show you just how perfect all of you were to him.

"Then let's do it" he tells you while standing, helping pull you to your feet. You both laugh like children, stumbling to leave the ballroom and find the front desk. The guy standing behind doesn't seem surprised to see you two, probably the both of you not being the first couple to buy a hotel room that night. You picutred the various affairs that could've went down tonight but you were just happy to be here with Rafe.

"Floor 12 room 1,203" the guy tells you both, handing over the key card that would now magically open the doors to any room in this hotel you wanted, well except for the other rooms. Rafe grins at you while he thanks the man before leading you to the elevator. Waving the key the door opens and he helps you inside before pushing the button to the roof.

"I thought he said the twelth floor?" you question and Rafe smiles before pointing to the words beside the roof button. Pool & Rooftop Bar. You start to excitedly bounce beside him and he can only laugh as he hugs you close to him.

When the doors open you’re met with the cool night air and even better an abandoned rooftop. It seems the bar had been closed to accommodate the event you were both just at. How lucky. The aquamarine pool glows in the dark and the steam swirls above it and into the night air. You groan out loud and the sound has Rafe trying to calm himself down. You break free of his grip and walk slowly towards the pool. He watches as you slip off your shoes and reach towards the back of your dress. His mouth goes agape when he realizes you’re removing your bra and sliding it out from underneath the red fabric that clings to your body.

“Wet bras are the worst” you pout, dropping it beside your shoes. Rafe can’t utter a word as you gracefully dive in the pool, only a blur of red under the surface before popping back up and smiling wide at him. “Come on handsome, it feels great”

“You’re gonna kill me” you’re too drunk to know what he means but you watch him remove his suit jacket and shoes all before running his hands down the buttons of his shirt. Your mouth dries when he reaches for the button on his pants, them falling around his ankles and leaving him in tight black boxers.

“Jump” you call out and Rafe chuckles before jogging towards the edge and leaping high into the air. He cannonballs beside you and you laugh loudly as he pops up and shakes his head to rid himself of some water.

“How big was my splash?” he acts like a little boy and you can only smile as you tread towards him.

“Huge, I think it went over the edge of the building” you tell him, eyes glancing towards the infinity edge of the pool that looked over the skyline of a town you and Rafe both lived in for so long not knowing each other.

“Good, that’s what I was going for” he says as he swims towards you. Your hair is slicked back from the water and he realizes for the first time he is seeing all of your face. You’re even more beautiful than he thought.

“I’ve always loved the water” you say, head tipping back to look at the stars. Rafe stares at the expanse of your throat, imagining what kind of noises you’d make if he pressed his lips to it.

“Why’s that?” he asks and you sigh, laying down to float on your back. You’re silent so long he expects you not to answer but then finally you speak.

“When I was young I loved the water just for fun but when I was a bit older I loved it because it was the only time I could feel as feather light as the others girls. In the water you defy gravity and considering most days I wanted to float away from the world, water was the next best thing” Rafe knows you’d have never said this to him sober, this actually being the first time you had openly discussed your size with him. His heart yearns for you, knowing the pain that must come along with not fitting the normalized beauty standard. So he doesn’t respond and instead grabs your arm and floats you towards him.

Lifting your head you look at him to see a different look in his eyes than you ever have before. You allow him to move you anyway, his hands setting your own on his shoulders before pulling your waist towards his own. Your breath hitches when his hand slips down your thigh and lifts it to wrap around his waist. In the water there’s no weight at all so you wrap your other leg around his waist and pull him flush to you. His hands settle on your ass and your mind is screaming at you to not take this to heart. Yet based on the heat that pools at the bottom of your stomach you know this isn’t the case because you have your legs wrapped around a man like Rafe Cameron.

“I’ll float with you” it’s probably the sweetest thing someone has ever said to you and for the first time since Rafe kissed you on the beach you press a kiss on his lips, prepared to blame it on your drunkenness but let him know how much it means to you.

“Was that real or fake?” he asks when you pull away, your head tucking beside his own as you hug him tight.

“Real but only because that was the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me” you whisper and your response is enough for him to press his lips to your neck, hot breath fanning over the dewey skin, and raising goodbumps. You breathe heavily into his ear and fight everything in your power to not grind into him but you know he feels it too. You also know he wouldn’t never be in this position with you sober so you soak it in and already prepare for the heartbreak of having to let it go.

For now, you’ll just float.

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#rafe cameron series #rafe cameron x oc #rafe cameron fluff #rafe cameron fic #rafe cameron fanfiction #rafe cameron x you #rafe cameron x reader #rafe cameron imagine #rafe cameron smut #rafe cameron #rafe cameron x femreader #rafe cameron x plus size reader #rafe cameron x plus size #rafe cameron x female reader #rafe cameron x smut #rafe cameron x y/n #rafe #rafe outer banks #rafe x you #rafe fanfiction #rafe x reader #rafe smut #rafe imagine #rafe fic #rafe obx #outerbanks rafe #obx fic #obx fanfiction #drew starkey x y/n #drew starkey x you

[sakurayumekun]

PRO-ANA GUIDE HANDBOOK 

An anorexic mind

First of all, let's work on the psychology first. Be sure to fuck up your relationship with food from the start. You want to make yourself as neurotic as possible about food, eating, kitchens, cutlery, refrigerators, restaurants, and hey, why not stretch this out even further and start hating the actual source of foods, in other words the actual animals and plants. I myself am utterly opposed to factories. Any kind of factory. Even pillow factories, hell they're all the same. But you! Spread those bad thoughts! Hate that chicken!!! Unless of course, you're going for the sympathetic, oh the poor animals, vegan slant. That's a good one too. Firstly, reaffirm your mission. Immortalise it. Buy a fat, blank notebook, this will become your own personal anorexic sanctuary of sorts. Write down WHY you want to lose weight. Be sure to include things like how you will feel when you're 10lbs lighter, the glorious clothes you will fit into, an occasion that you would like to be thinner for like your sixteenth birthday, etc. Give yourself a final goal, and break it up into several, smaller, goalpoints. For example, if you weigh 140lbs and would like to eventually be 90lbs, list points along the way which signify a victory for you. For example, 130lbs, and then 115lbs, then 110lbs, then 100lbs, and so on. Re-read this again and again for inspiration. You will be using this notebook later to create tackytown anorexia-inspired collages and other paraphernalia.

Visualisation. Following the same strain as NLP, or Neuro Linguistic Programming, we must use the principles of association to retrain your consciousness, and sub-consciousness, to turn food into one of the greater evils of the world. (Read: the greatest evil!!) Start by associating food with disgusting things. For your first ever fast, it may be helpful to draw pictures of juicy red apples, somehow morphing into giant dead rotting pigs. Plaster these all around your house, preferably on the food itself. Never underestimate the power of images. Put pictures of fat girls on your fridge, or better yet, pictures of yourself; you're pretty fat. Conversely, stick pictures of rakish models everywhere you can see them, for inspiration, and a bit of productive self-loathing. Also, practise writing things like "I'm fat" over and over. You want to drill this into your brain. "I will be thin" is a good one, as well as other "I will" affirmations. These are positive statements and very conducive to big time weight loss. Now create a list of suitable punishments either for thinking of food, or for caving in and eating food itself. A good one to try is to keep a rubber band on your hand and flick your skin whenever you think of eating. Eventually you will have a swollen hand, and a shrunken body; you will have ceased thinking of food so much. Other punishments include ridiculous amounts of exercise, purging, self-mutilation, isolation, basic denial of necessary comforts such as blankets on a cold night, or shelter when it is raining... Or simply menial, disgusting tasks such as cleaning the bathroom. Remember, you need discipline. Invent pain and hassles for yourself. Trick yourself into believing your life sucks. Be mean to people so that they instigate fights, just to make you constantly on edge, or nervous, so you cant eat. After all, you'll be light-headed and dizzy, and irritable from not eating, so you have an excuse. I used to love when dad got mad at me because it meant I was so upset I could not eat. Become an angst ridden teenager. You'll be making yourself nauseous from worry and self hatred in no time. Find another anorexic to consort with. Whether this be in real life, or on the internet. You can swap tips and indulge in your little sordid anorexia world together, force each other to exercise, pat each other on the back when you reach goals, etc. You want to completely surround yourself with all thoughts of anorexia. Find pro-anorexia websites, or create your own. Sign up for one of the dozens of pro-anorexic mailing lists at Yahoo! and you'll be bombarded daily with like minded individuals. Now, immerse yourself further in anorexia propaganda, read anorexia or otherwise 'thin' inspired literature, listen to anorexic music, watch as many triggering films as you can get your delicate little mitts on, look up to very thin hollywood stars and supermodels. Also, visit as many of the aforementioned pro-anorexia sites as you can to get a bunch of quotes and mantras to write in your anorexia notebook, and repeat inside your head daily. I have compiled a list of such sources of thinspiration.

Thinspiration

Triggering music

This is essential. You must familiarise yourself with the very teenage and angstyartists and be sure to play the music over and over to thoroughly depress yourself. Ones to keep in mind are:

Fiona Apple - "Paper Bag" ... Hunger hurts but starving works...

Silverchair - "Ana's Song (Open Fire)" ... And I need you now somehow, and I need you now somehow ... On my knees for you... In my head the flesh seems thicker...

 Juliana Hatfield - "Feed Me"... Oh baby if only you knew, I'm down to 102...

Tori Amos - "Jackie's Strength" ... You're only popular with anorexia, so I turn myself inside out, in hopes someone will see...

Anorexic mantras

 You must collect as many of these as possible. Write them in your anorexia notebook, memorise them, let them comfort you. Some examples are:

"An imperfect body reflects an imperfect person." 

 "You will be tempted quite frequently, and you will have to choose whether you will enjoy yourself hugely in the 20 minutes or so that you will be consuming the excess calories, or whether you will dislike youself cordially for 2 or 3 days for your lack of willpower." 

 "I'm not starving myself...I'm perfecting my emptiness." 

 "I can get thinner. I can cut it all off. I can wear low slung Levi's and crop tops and long straight dresses like willowy models, and I gasp with the breathlessness of being airborne. I can fly and be free. Jesus! I never realised how easy it was!" 

 "Nothing tastes as good as thin feels." 

 "The greasy fry, it cannot lie, its truth is written on your thigh," 

 Devour literature, not food

Words and text are very very triggering when it comes to not eating. For one thing, it gives you a world to inhabit, your very own private, magnificent anorexia world which nobody else around you can touch, and you shall have characters to understand you. You will be so riveted that you will not need to eat. Books to check out include:

The best little girl in the world by Steven Levenkron

Wasted by Marya Hornbacher

The fountainhead by Ayn Rand - not about anorexia per se, but Dominique

Francon is the fucking epitome of ethereal, insubstantial, bony grace.

 I am an artichoke by Lucy Frank

Starving for attention by Cherry Boone O'Neill

 Hunger scream by Ivy Ruckman

 Diary of an eating disorder by Chelsea Smith and Beverly Runyon

My sister's Bones by Cathi Hanauer

Stick figure by Lori Gottlieb

Eve's apple by Jonathan Rosen

Thinspiring films and TV shows

These might be about anorexia itself, or it might simply be glamorous and include very thin beautiful people. Movies and television programmes I know others find thinspiring are:

Girl, Interrupted

For The Love Of Nancy

 Ally McBeal

Role models

 You need somebody to idolise. You must research him or her to the bones and become as close to her as possible. Become obsessed. Some suitable examples include those in the following list, who are either very skinny, or have, or have had anorexia:

Kate Moss - 90's waif

 Angelina Jolie - skinny sexy actress, e.g. Girl, Interrupted and Gia

Christina Ricci - actress, had anorexia

Calista Flockhart - Ally McBeal

Lara Flynn Boyle - glamorous and snobby, never eats

Tracey Gold - actress who suffered from anorexia

Karen Carpenter - musician and classic anorexic

Portia de Rossi - actress on Ally McBeal who went through a stage of dangerous dieting

Geri Halliwell - formerly Ginger Spice, engaged in a 'thin war' with:

 Victoria Beckham - formerly Posh Spice

Courtney Cox - actress on Friends, bony and gaunt

Twiggy - iconoclastic model

Mary Kate - had anorexia... perfection

Jodie Kidd - impossibly thin model

Nicole Richie - Thin thin thin

 Audrey Hepburn - quintessential class, very petite

This should be enough to sufficiently fuck up and cloud your perceptions. Above all, convince yourself you are above others, a hero, owing to your spectacular powers of restraint. Feel elitist. Feel as though you are somehow super-human for resisting the urge to eat. Feel better than the other mere mortals who dig in to their cereal and their donuts. Believe in the power of starving as though it were a religion.

Extreme dieting

Now we can move on to the actual act of excessive dieting itself. First off we should establish clear limits. Make up rules you cannot deviate from. Only eat yellow foods on Monday, and brown foods on Tuesday. Or only eat every other day. Or only eat at night. Or only eat on days with the letter "u" in them. Or become a vegan. Or a fruitarian. Or follow your own version of a well known diet, such as the ever popular low carb diets, e.g., the Zone Diet, Atkin's Diet. Use your imagination. I knew a model who swore her secret was living on sushi, candy, oranges, cigarettes, and water. Another tip to try is to only allow yourself one food a day. You will get sick of the taste and therefore eat less due to boredom.

 Now, compile a list of safe foods. Here is a fairly comprehensive list:

Low Cal Jelly (or Jello, for you Americans)

Celery - it is composed highly of water, it is crunchy, which is said to cause you to eat less, owing to the amount you have to chew it, it is considered acatabolic food

Carrots are also another safe vegetable (although most vegetables can be on your safe list, these are merely the safest of the safe)

Salsa and mustard - dieting staples. You can dip vegetables in them, they are fat free and low cal, and salsa brings cravings to an abrupt halt.

Spicy foodsare also thought to fire up your metabolism

 Vinegar - thought to thoroughly reduce your appetite. It is suggested you drink a tablespoon or two before each meal.

Lemons dipped in a sugar substitute such as Splenda or Nutrasweet. (note: In some anorexia circles, even fruit is no good, besides oranges, which are a 50cal food)

Broth (only 5 calories per cube!!)

Egg white - much needed protein

Pickles

Lettuce - an absolute 'nothing' food

Cucumbers - very very low cal

Soup

Safe foods are merely foods that are safe to eat if you are craving foods outside your set meals. They are extremely low cal, or no cal. As for your actual daily intake of food, most wannabe anorexics tend to stick within the 500 - 1000 calorie range depending on how much exercise they do. Never be shy when it comes to considering taking certain drugs to reduce or diminish appetite. Some antidepressant medication such as Wellbutrin have this effect, as well as Topamax, which is originally an anti-convulsive but has been and can be prescribed for things such as ADD and bipolar disorder. Steal your little brother's ADD medication. Dexedrine is gold when it comes to killing appetite. Just ignore the paranoia and nervousness that comes with it. Think about diet pills and supplements such as Metabolife and Ephedra.

Day to day

Now we move on to the ever important area of ritual and habits, tips & tricks, to get down to a science.

Graze constantly throughout the day so that your metabolism never gets the chance to rest and become sluggish. Eating 100 calories five times a day is better than eating one meal consisting of 500 calories.

Fool your metabolism by constantly changing the number of calories you consume daily. This will prevent your body going into starvation mode, meaning that lesser amounts of calories will make you gain weight. For instance, eat 500 calories on Monday, 100 on Tuesday, 800 on Wednesday, no calories on Thursday, and 400 calories on Friday.

Get a full night's sleep, at least eight hours. Although staying up late does make you burn more calories, don't become sleep-deprived or your metabolism will become sleepy. Your appetite will even increase by 15%.

Record everything you eat in your anorexia notebook. This serves to motivate you, as well as to be aware of all the extra calories you may not be aware you are consuming. It may also let you identify emotional or environmental triggers, such as boredom or sadness.

Take vitamin pills frequently so your body doesn't crave nutrients, causing binges.

Diet coke and other diet sodas cause that bubbly, full feeling in your stomach, for about 1 calorie per glass.

Brush your teeth and tongue all the time. The feeling in your mouth will ease cravings and additionally, food will taste yukky with toothpaste, so whats the point of eating it?

Drink water like a fish. Drink a glass of water, or a diet soda, every hour on the hour. Drink water every time you have the urge to snack. Ice water is better because your body will burn more calories to heat it up. Drink water with meals to prevent overeating. Bear in mind that often we mistake thirst for hunger.

Caffeine will speed up your metabolism. Have two or three servings a day, in the form of black sugarless coffee, or caffeine pills, or guarana. If stacked with ephedra and aspirin, a synergistic effect will occur that imitates the effects of speed or other amphetamines. Do be aware that this practice can be rather dangerous.

Exercise. Not only will you burn off the calories you consume when you do eat, but it will increase your metabolism for some time afterwards. As well, the consequential muscle mass will increase the calories you burn at rest. It also suppresses appetite. Try running, or buy yourself a skipping rope.

Stand up and move about constantly. Compulsively fidget. It does add up to an estimated extra 500 calories burned a day. Twitch your leg while studying, for example. Also, sit up straight - you'll burn more calories.

Have a very busy and active schedule. It will burn more calories than sitting in your room thinking about not eating, and make sure you don't have enough time to binge.

Find a something other than food to satisfy your oral fixation. Choices include things like smoking, chewing gum, water, iced tea, sugarless mints, and diet coke.

Put a small coin in a jar every time you resist a craving, or exercise when majorly exhausted, etc. This will motivate you, build up confidence in your starving abilities, and keep track of your successes. As well as give you extra cash to splurge on some fantastical treat when you reach your first major weight loss goal.

The type of music you listen to while you eat affects how much and how quickly you consume. The faster the music, the more you eat. Try to listen to nice slow music when you eat.

Eat sweets and the foods you crave early on in the day. This will give you more time to burn them off and it will eliminate cravings later.

Eat while in the front of the mirror naked. You will be completely repulsed, and repelled from the food. This is a good thing.

Feel your hunger..don't try to suppress it. If you're hungry that means you're losing weight; you WANT to be hungry. If you're not then you're not doing it right. In time you will get a wonderful high off of being hungry and thoroughly enjoy the sensation. Hunger is not your enemy! The sooner this is understood, the sooner you will reach your goals.

Did you know that there are 2 pounds of dead skin on you right now!!?! Thats right! 2 POUNDS! ...if you're underweight or in starvation mode your body does not "shed" its skin the way it should. It holds on to it. Use an exfoliator for your face, and a loofah brush or scrub for your body. Make a stack of magazines that weighs the amount you want to lose. As you lose, take off the appropriate amount of magazines. Seeing the weight like that may help you realise what a difference it will make when it is all off. When you're feeling weak Here are some things which will help when your willpower is very feeble, to ward off the urge to eat, or worse, binge!

Pinch your thigh and see how you don't need food, because you should be eating your own flesh all away from the inside first, before you are deserving of actual legitimate sustenance.

Go to the library. You can research dieting or whatever, or you can read the classics, or some of the aforementioned listerature. Or you can do homework, or write letters, but the beauty of it is, since no food or drink is allowed, you'll have no choice but to abstain from a meal.

Buy some baby teething gel and rub it on your tongue, to numb your tastebuds.

If you're even considering eating, just hold your breath and count to 100. Chances are that you'll convince youself not to eat whatever it is you're craving in that time.

The scent of coffee has been proven to lessen ones appetite.

Chew the food but don't swallow it. Spit it in the bin.

If you're feeling dangerous, plan out the next few hours so that you're occupied for every single minute. Write a list of things to do for every 15 minutes. eg. exercise, surf the internet, email your friends, clean a room, read a book.

If you're feeling brave enough to face the kitchen, go there and throw out any potential binge foods. If you must, pour bleach/disinfectant/dishwashing detergent on the food, and then throw it away! (Anorexics are known for retrieving food from bins, or stealing food from strange places).

Pinch your ear! Apply pressure to the front of the ear, one at a time. The front of the ear is apparently a pressure point, in the area that controls hunger.

Let perfume replace chocolate. Every time you have a craving, or pass a bakery, sniff some Chanel no. 5. Apply it to a tissue and carry it with you.

Smell has a powerful effect on appetite.

Clean something. Cleaning something dirty can make you lose your appetite. The toilet, the litter box, under the kitchen sink, scrubbing out the garbage bin, anything grimy or smelly. The mess, along with the smell of the cleaner, can put you off food for a while.

Become a teenage artist. Write anorexic poetry, tragic little verses about bones and stomachs and evil evil capsicums. Anorexics are ever so creative.

Collect pictures of skinny girls. Stick them all in your notebook. Draw pictures of painful bony girls with tear stained faces and their head in their hands (their spines sticking out). This will take up most of your time.

Hiding it

 Anorexia is supposed to be a private and tortured place, dontcha know. Deny it at all costs. Pretend you have not noticed the pounds dropping off you. Don't be suspicious. Here are some relevant tips:

Spend time making yourself look healthy.

Drink lots of water and apply a fake tan.

Wear makeup so that you have some colour, and keep your hair looking nice and shiny, take vitamins.

Smile. 

Whenever you do decide to eat, do it in the company of others.

That way they can't say they never see you touch food.

On your way out, heat up a slice of pizza or prepare a snack to 'eat on the run'.

Of course, you will dispose of the food at your first convenience.

Leave a dirty plate lying around every so often for your parents to yell at you about.

Drink out of opaque cups, and spit your food into it whilst preteding to drink. They'll never know.

Eat really slowly because if everybody else is on their third slice of pizza, they'll assume you are too, even if you're still finishing your first.

Sign out of Hotmail and clear the history before you get off of the Internet. This will eliminate autofill being ever so helpful while your mum is researching aardvarks, and coming up with www.anorexicsanonymous.com for her. In short, don't leave traces lying around for others to find.

I trust that this guide to becoming a better anorexic will serve you well on your quest to being emaciated and ahem, gorgeous.

Remember, think thin, and try not to faint too often or die.

#an@rexi@

[imyourbratzdoll]

If you are taking requests. Can I request baby daddy! Lloyd hansen with y/n. Basically him and y/n trying to make it work for their son or daughter even though the feelings are still there for each other but Lloyd find out y/n is dating someone

hey baby, I hope you like it.

summary - lloyd is your baby daddy, and you both have feelings you won't admit. everything seems to come crashing down when lloyd finds out you are dating someone he doesn't like.

warning - angst, swearing, mentions of cheating.

the gif I use isn't mine, divider by @newlips

“What?” Lloyd stops what he is doing, staring at his daughter, who continues to draw. “Honey, what did you say?” He slowly walks closer and kneels in front of her.

“Mummy has new boyfriend.” She pouts and shakes her head. “I no like. He always rude. Stealing mummy away.” Lloyd reaches forward, ignoring the pain in his heart at what his daughter is telling him, cupping her cheek. “Don’ like him.”

“It’s okay, honey. Has he done anything bad?” She shakes her head, nuzzling her face into her dad’s hand, staring at him with wide eyes. “Do you want me to talk to mummy about it?” 

“No, won’ listen… Steal all attention.” Fat tears fill her eyes, missing the time she usually gets to spend with her mother. 

“Do you know his name, baby?” His daughter nods, opening and closing her mouth, brows furrowing as she tries to think of it. 

“Is… Lee, chubby.” Her cheeks blow up, blinking. “Eat all food.” Lloyd’s jaw clenches, knowing who his daughter is talking about, the damn sheriff that always had his eye on you. His expression turns sour, thinking that Lee gets to touch you, hold you, and be near you. You, you were Lloyd’s. There was no way that this fat bastard could have what was his. 

Lloyd was in love with you, knowing you had felt the same, but for some reason, even though you had his kid. You wouldn’t let him close to you romantically. Whatever you had was never toxic, not that Lloyd thought so. He treated you right. He only wanted to have you to himself and call you his wife. Why couldn’t you just accept him? Accept your feelings?

When it was time for you to come pick up your daughter, Lloyd stared you down, wondering why you would choose someone like Lee over him. It’s no secret that Lee was a bad, unfaithful man. So why would you choose him? You avoided Lloyd's gaze as your daughter ran to her room to gather some of her things. “Why?” Your eyes move up and connect with him, a look of confusion swirling around. “Why did you choose him? Why him and not me?”

“Lloyd, I don’t want to do this.” You look away, wondering what was taking your daughter so long. 

“Well, I do. You never gave me a reason, Y/n. I know you feel the same for me, yet you won’t let me in. Why?” 

“Because.”

“Because what?” 

“Because I don’t want to wake up one day and have you no longer love me! Because I’m afraid, you may find someone better and leave me and our daughter! I’m afraid you’ll leave for work one day and never return! I know you, Lloyd. I know that when you are on the job and need release, you’ll find an ‘ugly’ girl. I know I’m just one of them. Why would I put myself through that?! Why give you a chance just for you to throw it away to get your dick wet?!” You huff, breathing deeply. 

Lloyd scoffs. “Please, I haven’t been like that since I laid eyes on you, and if you don’t want to get cheated on. Why the fuck would you choose Lee of all people?!” He stares at you until it clicks. “That’s what it is, isn’t it? You want a reaction from me. You know how much we don’t like each other, so that’s why you went for him.”

You roll your eyes. “Please, not everything is about you.” But deep down, it’s true. You wanted a reaction. You needed it. You were deeply in love with Lloyd, but for some reason, you felt as though you’d get hurt. 

thank you for reading!

feedback and reblogs are greatly appreciated.

#lovebittenbyevansask #imyourbratzdollasks #imyourbratzdollwork #lloyd hansen fanfiction #lloyd hansen #lloyd hansen fanfic #lloyd hansen fic #lloyd hansen x female reader #lloyd hansen x reader #lloyd hansen x y/n #lloyd hansen x you #lloyd hansen fluff #lloyd hansen fan fic #lloyd hansen angst #lloyd hansen au #lloyd hansen oneshot #lloyd hansen one shot #lloyd hansen imagines #lloyd hansen imagine #chris evans x female reader #chris evans characters #chris evans fanfiction #chris evans #chris evans angst #chris evans blurb #chris evans character #chris evans drabble #chris evans fan fic #chris evans fan fiction #chris evans fandom

[elisysd]

8. Need you more than I want to

Masterlist - Previously - Next

Chapter soundtrack : Shameless - Camila Cabello

He was the last person you expected to be in front of your door, but here he was. Seeing him there, a little disheveled, his hair a mess, had the effect of sobering you up. 

“What are you doing here?” you asked. “How did you get my room number?”

He didn’t answer, only arched an eyebrow and it made you sighed. You were annoyed, frustrated, in total disbelief. You couldn’t understand why he was there. You couldn’t find a justification that would be important enough for him to find you there. 

“I have my ways to get what I want.”

“Of course… little prince of Monaco. It comes with perks. One of them being to disturb the privacy of people, I assume.” you bitterly commented. 

“I want an explanation”

“You want an explanation?” you repeated. 

“Your behavior, your questions! I don’t understand them! I don’t understand you! I thought we were friends, that we built something and you are still the annoying girl I’ve met the first time in Bahrain! What did I do? I deserve to know.”

“You deserve? Deserve? Who do you think you are? It’s not because we have a good relationship outside of the tracks that I have to change the ways I do my job. I’m not here to please you, I’m not here to praise you, I’m not here to pat you on the back. It’s not what is asked from me. If you don’t like it, that is your problem not mine. I’m staying professional out there.”

You were harsh, you knew it and saying you were enjoying drawing a line between your personal relationship with Charles and the one you had on the tracks, was a big fat lie. 

“And where was your professionalism when you were dancing and flirting with Mick?” he asked, furious.

You took a step back, as if his bitter question had physically hurt you. You could feel tears welling up in your eyes. You briefly closed them and proceeded to ignore him as you made your way to your door, not hesitating to push him a little. You wouldn’t make him the pleasure to see you hurt. You fumbled with your key until you managed to open your door and entered the room. You were not quick enough to prevent Charles from following you inside. 

“Mick is my friend.”

“So you do make friends with some drivers, nice to know. Make you even more hypocrite than I thought.”

“Mick and I understand each other. Not that I should justify myself to you.”

“I understand you too! I try to! I’m trying here, can’t you see? But you prefer to push me away  because you know what? You are scared. You are scared of the bond we could have. So you’re fleeing, like a coward.”

It made you snap.

“You have no right to stand here and judge me. When did I give you the permission to do so? We are friends. I let you in, despite everything I let you in. I told you about my brother, I let you see me be vulnerable, I’ve done more things with you than with any other drivers and here you are, asking for what? More? I give you enough, Charles! And maybe I could give you even more but I need time! I need to find the right balance between professional and personal and yeah, fine, maybe it was not right of me to be like that with you. But I’m trying! I will make mistakes but I don’t want you to throw them in my face every damn time. And if you can’t handle that, then maybe it’s best if you leave and if we stop being friends.”

You swore you had seen a flash in his eyes and before you even had time to register what was happening, you felt his hands around your waist and his lips on yours, kissing you like his life depended on it. Before you could even process it, you kissed him back as his teeth bit your lower lip. And that’s when you finally fully understood what was going on. You let go of him, took a step back and before you even knew it, you felt your hand moving on its own to slap his face, getting him out of the trance he was in. 

“Y/N… I… I’m sorry, I just…  I don’t know where that comes from, I…” he stuttered. 

“Leave, Charles. I think it’s best.” you calmly answered, opening the door as you saw him rushing out, without a second glance to you. 

You were a coward. He was right. Because if you had just an ounce of bravery you wouldn't seriously consider not attending Barcelona. How could you face him? How would you be able to do your job properly? Your thoughts were all over the place. You were thinking about his lips on yours, about his hands around your waist and how good it felt. He was even haunting you in your dreams. Very sweet dreams that were making you blush whenever you were thinking about them.  As the race was approaching you were feeling more and more anxious to the point your work was starting to pay the price, something Marion ended up noticing. When she confronted you, you simply said that you were not feeling good lately.

“If you want to skip Barcelona, you can. I can cover for you. I know how tiring traveling can get. If you need to sit this one out, don’t worry, okay?” she reassured you and never you had felt so relieved. 

“I want to come, I just don’t feel good enough for the interviews.”

“So you can be in the pitlane at the start, if it is more convenient for you.”

“I would like that.”

“Did something happen? You loved the interviews.” she asked. 

“No!” you answered a little too fast for your liking. “It’s just the perspective of staying in a crowded place, with little space to move… And I want to experiment something new.”

“Then it is settled! The pitlane will be waiting for you.”

Hell on earth. That’s what Barcelona felt like to Charles. He was not happy at all about his performance, nor was he of the team’s. He was pissed off. About everything but as much as he was trying to convince himself otherwise, he knew the underlying issue. An issue that could be summed up in five letters. A kiss. A stupid kiss. It was a mistake and he couldn’t believe how stupid he could have been?  His multiple texts, sent as apologies, had stayed unanswered. But he understood. He messed up, probably scared you off and he was the only one to blame. 

“Charles, you have to leave the room, I don’t want an aggressive driver during our meetings.” Fred had firmly said when he had blown up in anger.

He couldn’t let his private life influence his driving and his relationship with the team. And he couldn’t keep lying to himself. He had to act on his feelings properly or he had to forget about you. There was no in between. But in any case, he had to talk to you and you had to listen. He knew you were around and he was determined to make you listen. 

Y/N

Can we talk? 

We have to. 

We NEED to.

He saw his texts immediately opened and it gave him hope. 

Please. It won’t be long. 

When he noticed the three dots indicating you were typing he almost let out a sigh of relief. 

You’re right. We have to. 

You sent him your address and the time she would be there. An hour. It was a lot of time to think about what he was going to tell you and at the same time it was not enough. He felt like a high school teenager about to confess to his crush and he felt so stupid. It had never happened to him before. He usually was confident around women, he knew how good looking he was and how charming he could be. But with you, he was a mess. You were making him so nervous. A mix of good kind and bad kind. He didn’t know how you would react, if you would slap him again or kiss him until you both would be out of breath. He liked an option better than the other.

He had bought tulips on his way to your door. And when he was in front of it, he suddenly found the idea very stupid. It’s not like you would be able to keep them. But it was reassuring for him, maybe it would make you smile. The door finally opened, revealing you, still in your work clothes. You were so pretty. He had always noticed it but today you were pretty in a candid way. It made him gulp, especially since you were still very silent as you sat down on your bed looking at him, waiting for his next move. Move he had no idea what it would be. So he started pacing the room, hoping to find the right words, the flowers still in hands. He finally stopped, ran a hand in his hair and looked at you. 

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have kissed you like that. Especially because of the reasons that led me to kiss you. I admit, I was jealous of Mick. A real and fat feeling of jealousy like I’ve never experienced before. Seeing you laugh with him and be your carefree self with someone other than me made me feel things I didn’t expect to feel. It was stupid and selfish to hope that the side of you that you've shown me in New York would be for me only. You told me about your brother, you gave me access to your life in New York, the way you acted around me and then the friendly texts… I think I got confused. Maybe I misread the entire situation. For that I’m sorry. Bur gosh, I’m not sorry to have kissed you. It made me realize that my feelings were everything but friendly. I have a crush on you. I like you a whole lot. It’s stupid, I know. But it is there. It exists. And I can’t help it.” he said in one breath.

You sighed and stood up, moving next to him and taking his free hand in yours. 

“I can’t reciprocate it, Charles. I’m so sorry.”

“You can’t or you don’t, because these are two different things? he asked, slightly hurt but expecting your answer and when he saw you hesitating he knew not everything was lost. That he was right to hope. 

“You’re nice and caring and you did it, you know. You showed me that there were not only assholes out there. Your presence in my life is a breath of fresh air and the companionship I didn't know I needed. I value our friendship. A lot more than what you can imagine. But I don’t want to sacrifice my career. It’s my dream and my little brother’s. He wanted to see me there and I won’t jeopardize it. I can’t. I would never forgive myself if I was messing it up. For Luc, I can’t do that.” you explained, tears in your eyes.

Charles slowly got closer, caressed your cheek and put two fingers under your chin in order to make you look at him. He could read the dilemma you were going through and it hurt him more than a rejection would have. 

“I understand. But you don’t have to choose. You can have your career and you can have me.”

You shook your head. 

“As much as I would like it, it doesn’t work like that, Charles. I don’t think it’s possible.”

“And I think you’re wrong. Let me show you that you can have the best of both worlds.”

You let out a small laugh. He would not give up. 

And his promise started the next day as you were checking in at the airport. 

“You’ve been upgraded to first class, Miss.”

“Wait, what?” you asked, as Marion and Jean let out an impressed sigh. 

“Well, you’re registered as a first class passenger in our online base.”

“But how?” you insisted. 

“I don’t know, miss, and it’s not really my problem now if you can move out of the way, you’re not the only passenger.”

You reluctantly moved to let Marion and Jean check in. As they were doing so, you took you phone out to find a text from Charles and suddenly, it was all clearer. 

Would you be with me, that would become your daily life.

Those few words messed with your head during the whole flight and when you finally got back to your flat. You were exhausted. Your best friend was supposed to arrive soon and you hoped that she would be able to make you forget about Charles. You took a quick shower and soon the doorbell rang, telling you that she had arrived. She jumped into your arms, begging you to tell her everything. 

“I don’t have much to tell. It was work, you know.” you avoided her look on you, preparing water to boil. 

She sneaked next to you and moved her head to the side, her eyes staring at you, making you uncomfortable. 

“There’s something you are not saying.”

“Absolutely not.”

“You can never shut up about your job when I ask you questions and I find you very quiet right now. Spill.”

And you spilled. In details, from the moment you met Charles to Miami, to New York and the kiss in Monaco, ending your story to his confession in your hotel room. You were out of breath when you finished talking and you could feel your cheeks burning. 

“Atta girl. You have an F1 driver at your feet and you don’t jump on the occasion? What is wrong with you? “

“Why can’t anyone understand that it might cause conflicts with my job? Like bias, conflicts of interests… I can’t!” you sighed, annoyed. 

“Okay, fine, I get it. Now let me ask you something different. Imagine you’re not a journalist. In another world, you and Charles work a very tedious 9 to 5 job. You both end up in a bar, for an after work event. He sees you across the room, you do too and you think that damn, he is good looking. And he finds you pretty too. So he comes and buys you a drink that you accept, because who says no to free alcohol? Anyway, you have a chat and it lasts until the bar has to close. You were so deep into your conversation that you both didn’t notice the crowd leaving and the hour approaching the early hours of the next day. And then, he asks you out for a real date, because he finds in you everything he is searching for. What are you saying?”

You closed your eyes, imagined the scene and let a warm and comforting feeling settle in your chest. A smile escaped you. It felt nice. Peaceful. For the first time in a very long time, you felt excited about the perspective of something new, no matter how scary that could be. 

“I would have said yes.” you replied, opening your eyes.

“Then maybe you should hold onto that and give the poor guy a chance. You never know what could happen.” she smiled. 

And when she finally left your flat, after hours of talking, you took your phone and sent a text to Charles. A bold and thrilling feeling running through your body when you press send. 

Do you still want to prove to me that I can have the best of both worlds?

Author's note: Happy Easter everyone! Here's a little gift from me to you to celebrate! I knew you were waiting for that kiss... hehe

Don't hesitate to leave a comment or an ask, as well as reblogging and leaving a like. Besides the fact that I absolutely love to read you, it helps a lot for the story to find its audience. I also have a taglist for this story, so if you want to be added so you never miss a chapter, let me know.

If you wanna be part of the taglist, let me know.

Taglist: @itsjustkhaos @thirstylion @cmleitora @charizznorizz @sltwins @boherahpsody @herondalism @roseamongthorns13 @aundercover @snowflakesfluff @fictional-l0v3r

If you are tagged and do not receive the notifications, please take a look at your parameters!

#charles leclerc 16 #formula 1 #writing #fiction #f1 fanfic #f1 fic #f1 x oc #charles leclerc fanfic #cl16 #scuderia ferrari #ferrari #charles leclerc x reader #charles leclerc f1 #charles leclerc fic #f1 x reader #cl16 x reader #driver x reader #charles leclerc imagines #charles leclerc imagine #charles leclerc x female reader #charles leclerc x you #charles leclerc

[flymetosnarryland]

A little progress.

I'm working on "Infraction." My precious baby, uh. This art is part of it in a way. Eileen Prince and Tobias Snape. When people are falling in love everything seems easy, but then life happen.

(I'd like to talk about how things are going with Infraction.)

I'm back on it since couple of weeks and working on it is intense (my brain is literally boiling). I don't think I ever planned a story for that long. The first idea has born 6th January this year. I was writing down (like crazy) everything I wanted to be in this fic. During first months it was chaotic and messy, but brought me so much joy. When I've had everything that (I thought) I needed, I wrote first chapters, yeah. And then shared them, because was so excited about all of it and just couldn't wait. Gosh.

Now I... hm... well, maybe not "regret" it, but I think, I totally should have wait. Why is that? First thing first, this story is not ready yet for being written in, you know, final version. It's too fat, lol.

I may want too much from it. There is a lot, like, seriously, A LOT of things to cover. First notes took me around 80 pages and it had many gaps in it (too much if you ask me). Things I needed to figure out and fill in, in the same time making everything work together. Because this Snarry is not sprinkled with crime. It's filled with murder, political shenanigans, family shiteshow and tough, not always appropriate, love. There are secrets and lies, blackmails and history that matter. Backstory of many people, whose actions over the years supposed to bring us to the point where we are now. And, you know, all of it gives me the thrill. First time in my life I feel like a true Puppet Master.

So, couple weeks ago I started to write a proper outline, if I can call it like that. To put everything in order and, going from the very beginning, to fill all the gaps. To answer all the questions I was asking myself in notes. To figure out the missing clues, some details without I couldn't go further and with that - to find out how characters will change facing new situations. How they will grow (I really love this part). Sometimes I think, "why am I even doing it?" I could just write some cosy, little fic where Harry and Severus' silly problems would be the main goal of the story. Like, focusing on them should be enough, right? Why am I going for all the other things, if I just want them to shag and have their happy end after all? 😂

Well, if it's not for fun, I don't know the other reason. The level of excitement is just incredible. I don't know, if what I'm writing is good or bad. If it really has sense, because I've always seen myself rather as a potato, not as a great mastermind who can plot some good shite, you know. That said, "Infraction" feels even more challenging that I ever thought it will be. But I feel deep inside that I can do it. Going step by step where the main plan leads and... it just feels good.

I've started in October 1989. Now I'm in January 2011. It means that I managed to finish everything that happen before the fic starts, lol. And, actually, I almost covered the first part of the book. So, two more to go? Hehe. It'll take time, yes. It's crazy how much I want to continue writing the main chapters, not only swim in the plan-phase. Drawing the series of "Muggle London" art helped me a lot with easing this itch. However, it's still there. I know, though, that I have to finish it. The whole outline, I mean. Without it, things can go south.

That said, I can't tell how long it will take. Couple weeks? Maybe months. This is really... a lot of work and I want to be proud of it. Even more so, because this fic means a lot to me. I know it may not be, you know, mind blowing or something. But I hope that giving it all my love, it could be, you know, not that bad for reading, hehe.

#Infraction #Muggle London #Eileen Prince #Tobias Snape #personal #talking about writing

[snarky-art]

I swear I dont wanna be mean but why does everyone keep making stella fat. Why is it that the most attractive character, whom everyone finds beautiful inside the show, is the one who is always turned fat. Like... No one would find her attractive if her canon design was like that. I promise im not being mean but I feel like the artists are always projecting themselves onto Stella and wanting to be loved like she is, cause usually the ones making her fat are fat too, like I saw your selfies and you're a bit curvy. I promise im not being mean im just curious.

For starters, send me more fat Stella’s if you can I haven’t seen that many made and would love to see more varied takes on her appearances in redesigns.

Secondly, I made her fat because I think it’s nice to have the character that’s canonically considered to be the most beautiful girl in all of magix, a fashion icon in the magical dimension, a very celebrated trendsetter, be something other than the stereotypical concept of socially acceptable fashion tropes. She isn’t an hourglass, she has cellulite and stretch marks, she’s super pear shaped, and that can be and should be considered something to be normal, since they are, and shouldn’t be seen as things that need to be hidden. Having that put on a loud and proud fashion girly seems good imo and it can only really contribute to good stuff for body image stuff and representation. I did it so people like you could reconsider that beauty is something that comes in multiple forms and shouldn’t have to fit one type of standard. If we wanna get super technical too those standards also very from culture to culture and I image that’s extended even further in Winx club.

The girls are all aliens from different worlds. There’s bug people. There’s a lady in the miss magix episode that has tentacle hair, a blue body, and tentacle hands and feet. I highly doubt beauty standards in canon would be the same as what you’re saying, ie that no one would consider her beautiful. As if people who look like her irl also would inherently be considered not beautiful too. I know lots of people who have people that think they’re the hottest thing ever and they have all sorts of different body types and traits. Lets just call it realism lol

I’m not really projecting any of my physical stuff on her also, outside of I guess stretch marks and cellulite?? But I put those on other characters too so I don’t really think that holds up. I actually put my old body type on Flora since she’s my favorite, but now I’m way more midsized, like a slightly thinner Bloom from my stuff (love this unit of measurement gonna start using the gorls as a reference point for my appearance going forward lol). I’ve always had the “socially acceptable” fat type of body, ie hourglass with even proportions and a super snatched waist. I just think it’s tired and trite to constantly reenforce the idea that “the hot fashion one” needs to be tall and thin all the time, and if she is made fatter, that she needs to look like I did ie not much of a tummy with super equal proportions, big boobs, and a big ass.

Kinda related to that also, I made a post about a lot of character design “rules” too that I think are kinda outdated and annoying, at least to me, since I’ve seen them a million times. We all have. So I decided to do something different that I think would be good for normalizing traits outside of what we consider typically acceptable for that kind of character.

I’m already very loved also and don’t need to project anything on Stella lmaooo

I got multiple partners, great friends, do modeling, and am slaying with my own fashion and appearance stuff outside of that too. That’s all independent of whatever I’m doing with her physical body type when I draw her.

Gonna level with you also, you going “I’m not trying to be mean” doesn’t erase how weird this ask is. Sounds like you have your own gripes that you need to work through. Like, if you consider those traits on Stella ugly, that means you definitely have some internalized hatred for fatness, skin blemishes, scarring, and other peoples’ general appearances if they don’t fit some specific molds that aren’t realistic for the majority of people. Even if it is just genuine curiosity, being aware of this stuff going forwards and reevaluating how you view beauty standards and bodies in general would do you a great benefit imo.

Thanks for going through my old selfies tho it was pretty weird of you but at least make sure to leave a like on them. I looked hot when I was fatter and I look hot now too sharing this with the world is the least I can do💕✨💕✨

#winx club #winx #asks #normalize other body types being considered hot because that’s just how it is irl too outside of what magazines and movies might tell you #people fall in love with all kinds of people or think all sorts of people that aren’t models are hot #and they’ve got bodies like hers #it’s just realistic if you wanna get technical lol

[stopscammingartists]

Hi, I'm someone who used to hang out with a certain person who's been implicated in the Floraverse stuff and it's been beyond demoralizing to see a lot of people I've trusted just Nazijacket and call the victims out as KiwiFarms users and this is honestly helping me realize why a lot of them defended a few abusers in the community and label any of these victims as pushing "bad vibes" to their "uwu good vibes only" community.

This blog has been healing to read and I'd like to share a space with like minded people like you who won't tolerate abuse like this.

Are you kink friendly but just hate zoophiles and pedos? I can roll with that if you're still kink friendly as long as we agree that zoophiles, pedos, and Nazis all suck.

I don't care what adults do with informed consent with each other so long as no one is abusing each other. I don't care how 'weird' it might seem, I think people are at their best when they're true to themselves.

On this blog I pretty strictly talk about the abuse Floraverse has inflicted on people and the zoophilia and pedophilia. (Nazi's suck too, but that's a line Flora hasn't ever crossed, so it hasn't come up.)

The topic of kink culture really only ever comes up when it is related to the abuse.

The main examples of this are:

Because Glip let their cat perform oral sex on them, their drawn zoo porn in the past is more then just drawings.

Because Glip has groomed minors so their self-admitted grooming fetish and the fact they wrote an entire arc of their self insert grooming and having sex with a child in pmd-e is more then just drawings and bad writing.

I criticize Samael for forcing a character used in a significant amount of fat fur kink art in undertale because I don't think it's appropriate to force a project to become associated with a kink community if that project wants to be for all ages. Not because I think farfurs are weird or that the kink art of that oc is bad. It's just, you know, there's a time and place for involving fetish material and characters.

I also criticize Samael for commissioning porn of an OC who is a child and not informing the artists that the OC is a child, mainly because I see it as a violation of informed consent.

I criticize Eevee for her game foxflux which is a transformation fetish game. I don't care that it's a TF game, but I don't think it's okay that it's a TF game that she also markets to all ages. Nor do I like the fact Eevee justifies this grooming behavior with "2B has a fat ass and people were okay with that".

That said, I am personally not a fan of shota/loli/cub/feral. But I would rather shoot myself then discuss the ethics of either on this platform. This is for 2 main reasons. 1. It will distract from the main topic of this blog. 2. I am in my late twenties with a full time job.

I am also not involved in any kink culture, and am admittedly pretty ignorant on it. So some times I may phrase things weirdly when the topic does come up.

This is a really longwinded way of saying I consider myself to be kink friendly, and try my best to explicitly come across as such. But sometimes people can miss the points I'm trying to make and perceive it as kink shaming either because they missed the point or because I explained my point poorly because of my own ignorance. I try my best, and I know I'm not perfect, but when I mess up I'm willing to learn.

[brandycranby]

the berry sweetest

pairing: steve rogers x raccoon hybrid!reader

word count: 511

warning(s): chubby/plus-sized reader, no detailed description; mostly fluff and snuggles and kissies, hints of erotic situations; slight dehumanization and dom!Steve

author's note: forgive me, i know not what i did. only what i am, a soggy sad beast who yearns to be cuddled; based off of this text post i did earlier, will write more :))

Something… is touching his ears. 

“... wazzat?” Steve’s no stranger to going from dead asleep to battle ready. It's never a bad thing to be vigilant against Hydra sneak attacks even if said Hydra agents are gently stroking him awake.

But it’s only you, the poor little raccoon hybrid he saw in the dumpsters during his morning jog. It was an easy decision, upstate New York is no place to be outside in the wintertime. You were surprisingly easy to lure back to his quarters with only a jello cup and some yogurt in a tube. 

“Steve, Steeveeee.” Your pupils shine an eerie yellow in the gloom of night and your wandering hands are almost spidery as they skitter across his naked pecs.

Still, you’re the cutest softest thing he’s ever seen, fairly well-fed by the copious food waste the compound produced. Your lack of winter clothing had been worrisome, your only warmth coming from the soft drape of your tail around your body when he found you. You paw at his face again, a thin blanket around you as you shiver, already halfway on the bed.

“Hey, it’s ok. c’mere sweetheart.” With a scoop of his big arm, you’re on his bed, your plush limbs instantly curling around him in a satisfied squeeze. Steve laughs softly as you mewl and whimper little heem heems into his neck. “It's ok, you wanna kiss? Hmm?” 

Kiss… you have the vaguest sense of the word, some fuzzy memories of two people in AI uniforms entangled on a bench in front of your temporary den, their mouths touching like they were exchanging food. Confidently, you press your lips against Steve's, squeaking at the sudden pressure of his hands, one around your neck holding you at the perfect angle, the other cupping your bottom, encouraging you to snuggle closer. 

Yes! You like this, being very close means being warmer. And his hand is certainly warm, kneading your flesh in confident motions as you rock against him, moving in tandem with his lips to suckle your little tongue, drawing it into his mouth and releasing only when he can feel your chest strain for breath. You quiver, insatiable. “More uhm Steve more?” 

Steve huffs. Your yelp at the sudden tug on your stripey tail almost breaks his heart, but he’s responsible for you now. “What do we say?” He gives your winter fluff another warning pull when you take too long to think, drawing out big fat tears that make your eyes sparkle. 

“Puh-lease, snff please, Steve, kissies” 

How could he deny you? Dizzy and debauched in his arms, mouth swollen from his enthusiasm, little ears twitching, uncertain of all these new sensations but still deliriously happy at your newfound safety. 

“Good girl, what a good girl you are.” The praise slips out between messy smacks of your lips, the sound of you being all consumed by him. “I love you so much sweetheart.” He stifles your little squeals again, his own lips as red as berries. “I swear. Nothing bad will ever happen to you from now on.” 

---

masterlist

#steve rogers x you #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers x chubby reader #steve rogers self insert #my writing #raccoon hybrid!reader

[frodo-with-glasses]

More Reading Thoughts: A Long-Expected Party

There’s something so incredibly endearing about the slow, meandering beginning of LotR.

Even today—in a day and age when every author tries to grab you by the eyeballs in the first five words—Tolkien’s writing still has that gentle, irresistible draw that takes you by the hand and leads you slowly but surely into adventure. Something about a “birthday party of special magnificence” just appeals to all our inner children, I think; and the tiny mysteries, and the joy of a world of fantastical creatures living in peace and comfort, just adds to that. You want to go to Middle Earth, and you want to get lost in it. It’s like a lazy river at a water park; you wade in, get settled, and relax, and the next thing you know you’re far away from where you started.

All of that to say, Tolkien’s writing is goals and I aspire to be even a fraction of what this man was someday.

Anyway. To the bullet points!

Isn’t it hilarious how quick people are to begrudge one another their good fortune?? If Bilbo had been poor and died in a timely manner his neighbors would probably have liked him just fine, but he gets a lot of wealth and lives a long time and all the hobbits go >:-(

They’re not wrong to be suspicious, of course, but it’s still a biting social commentary. And very funny!

“As Mr. Baggins was generous with his money, most people were willing to forgive him his oddities and his good fortune.” 🤣

“You should come live with me so we can celebrate our birthday parties more comfortably together” belongs in the same category as C. S. Lewis’ “and they got so used to arguing that they married each other to keep doing it more conveniently”

“And suddenly, all the old people found that everyone actually WANTED to hear their rambling stories!”

GAFFER GAMGEE MY BELOVED

Hobbits are all so terribly prejudiced. What endearing morons.

Ooh, confirmation that Bilbo and Frodo look similar!

“There never was much to tell of him! … Till he was drownded.” “DROWNDED??”

I love that the only things we know about Drogo Baggins are that he was unremarkable and fat and married a strange woman

The Gaffer: “Thank goodness Mr. Bilbo saved young Mr. Frodo from those strange, dastardly Bucklanders…”

Meanwhile, Merry feels his eye Twitch and doesn’t know why 🤣

The spelling of jewels as “jools” is adorable for reasons I can’t describe

Tiny Gaffer Gamgee saw Bilbo come home from his Adventure!!

The Gaffer’s words are strangely prophetic. Sam did indeed land in trouble that was bigger than him—and thank goodness he did.

The Gaffer basically says here “if generosity is being strange, we could do with a lot more strangeness!” and honestly that’s a motto I want to live by

I love that Sam is most likely the one who started the rumor about the fireworks X-D

I wish we’d gotten to see the Dwarves visiting Bag End in the movies. It’s a shame they were cut. Imagine what cool costumes they could have had!

“G for grand!” and Gandalf’s smile. Ugh, my heart 🥹

Pity that September 22nd fell on a Friday this year. We were so close to it being a Thursday, like in the book! Oh well. Try again another year, I guess X-D

Are small business owners grumbling about your purchases from foreign parts?? Here’s an easy solution! Just BUY OUT THE STOCK OF EVERYONE FOR MILES AROUND IMMEDIATELY AFTERWARDS

Also the fact that the post offices are absolutely flooded 🤣 Bilbo, you madlad

“Old Gaffer Gamgee stopped even pretending to work on his garden” LOL

The brief paragraph of NOOO BAD WEATHER THE DAY BEFORE THE PARTY is honestly spectacular. It’s so nerve-wracking for just a second there—which is hilarious in light of the war and death and GIANT SPIDERS we’re going to read about. I think it has a flavor of Tolkien’s beliefs on eucatastrophe hidden in there—it’s not out of Bilbo’s own effort that the weather cleared up just in time for his party, it was just happy providence—but I’m too tired to write an essay about it right now.

“Half the Shire’s been invited…and the rest of them are turning up anyway!”

The hobbits who came through the gate again to get a second present 🤣🤣🤣

“The hobbit-children were so excited that for a while they almost forgot about eating.” That’s impressive!!

I love that some of the toys are dwarven-made. That’s such a cool detail that makes the world seem both fantastical (because dwarves!) and real (because you can Amazon order toys from them!) at the same time.

The names of the fireworks!! Especially the ones that are onomatopoeia, like “backarappers”! It just makes brain go ✨✨✨

Pfffft, yellow rain

There’s the express train reference!

Notable difference here: in the movies, the big dragon firework was set off ahead of schedule by Merry and Pippin, and all the hobbits freak out. In the book, the big dragon firework is set off right on time to signal supper, and all the hobbits freak out (but are immediately pacified by food).

Small detail I’d like to see in more fanfics: “Bilbo had been specializing in food for many years, and his table had a high reputation.” Yes, the idea of Bilbo and Frodo eating like the bachelors they are is hilarious, BUT! We have textual evidence to the contrary! I don’t know if this line means that Bilbo was a magnificent cook himself or simply hired magnificent cooks, but either way, it’s canon that the Bag End bachelors ate like kings!

“The feast was so incredible that everyone was incredibly full and took home leftovers and no one bought any new groceries for weeks. The good news is that Bilbo had bought out all the grocery stores anyway, so it was fine.”

Why is the detail about the golden buttons on Bilbo’s waistcoat so enchanting to me?? I really think this chapter just activates the Inner Child Mode in my brain, and suddenly even something as simple as shiny buttons becomes beautiful and magical. Also it’s just a lovely way to paint a vivid picture in my mind.

I’m so glad they kept so many of the jokes in Bilbo’s speech for the movies 🤣 “PROUDFEET!!”

And now here we see Tolkien, author of the fantasy epic that has defined the genre for a century and counting, unironically using caps lock. Folks, you can’t make this crap up.

The sneaky way Tolkien says Bilbo vanished before he mentions the flash of light is Very Good and hints at the fact that there’s something else at work here

Rory Brandybuck is the G.O.A.T.

“But at the same time he felt deeply troubled: he realized suddenly that he loved the old hobbit dearly.” Aww, Frodo…

Incredible that the debate between Bilbo and Gandalf over the Ring takes up almost four pages, but it doesn’t feel like it. Excellent suspense.

I wonder where Gandalf is going “to bed”. It doesn’t look like he’s staying in Bag End, so did he get a room at an inn somewhere? Is he sleeping in his cart??

Also it’s implied later in the book that Gandalf the White doesn’t sleep. Inconsistency?? A slight untruth?? Secret powerup to Gandalf the White that we’ve overlooked??

“The sun rose. The hobbits rose rather later.” Pffft

The SHADE in all the presents oh my WORD

Except for the ones for the poorer hobbits. Bilbo’s gift for the Gaffer is so simple in its contents, and yet so generous and thoughtful 🥹

MERRY MY LAD

MY FAVORITE HOBBIT (don’t tell the others)

How old would Merry have been here?? Like nineteen?? Incredible that he was already such a logistics guy that Frodo trusted him to keep an eye on the house while all the chaos is happening.

“Do you hear that, Merry? That was an insult, if you like.” “It was a compliment, and so, of course, not true.” HAHAHAHA DRAG HIM MERRY

“IF YOU DON’T LET ME IN, FRODO, I SHALL BLOW YOUR DOOR RIGHT DOWN YOUR HOLE AND OUT THROUGH THE HILL” 🤣🤣🤣

Frodo: “I’m so sorry, I thought you were Lobelia!” Gandalf: “Understandable, have a nice day”

“I would give them Bag End and everything else, if I could get Bilbo back and go off tramping in the country with him.” N’aww, Frodoooo 😭

“Look out for me, especially at unlikely times!” Therefore you also must be ready, for the Son of Man is coming at an hour you do not expect.…

“Frodo did not see him again for a long time.” Ooh, ominous.

#chapter review #gaffer gamgee #bilbo baggins #gandalf #frodo baggins #meriadoc brandybuck #merry #lord of the rings #lotr #my writing