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listen-to-the-inner-walrus · 9 months

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so in an attempt to actually use positive thinking, anytime i fuck up and my brain reacts as if ive cause a minor apocalyptic event, i compare my fuck up to the 4 minute fuck up committed by the crew of the uss william d porter.

and only today, as i was having to explain what happened to my mom when i was explaining the whole comparison thing, did i realise that most people dont know about it and ive decided that needs to change because its objectively hilarious.

...which is a weird thing to say about an event that occured on a warship in 1943, specifically november 14th.

see the uss william d porter was a fletcher-class destroyer but you dont need to know what that means, just that she had guns that went bang bang and that she was escorting another ship, the uss iowa, to cairo.

while they were on their way there, they performed some gun trials like testing the anti-aircraft guns or the torpedos. and while they were running a torpedo drill, the crew of the porter managed to fire a live torpedo straight at the iowa which you know, in terms of a list of things to do while escorting a ship, shooting a torpedo at them is not on that list.

especially if the president of the united states is on board.

yeah so fdr was on board and the gun trials were actually his idea, and part of the trials was that they were conducted under radio silence.

and that means the crew of the porter couldnt just call the iowa to be like "move out the way, we accidentally shot a torpedo at you."

but they did have signal lamps and you know, the signalman on board was trained to signal this exact kind of message.

...and uh never mind, the signalman did manage to successfully tell the iowa that a torpedo was coming toward them but wasnt as successful when it came to the direction the torpedo was coming from.

not all hope is lost though because the signalman could still use the signal lamp to correct his previous mistake and-, never mind, he announced that the porter was reversing, which she wasnt.

yeah so at catastrophic mistake number 3, they broke radio silence to warn the iowa and she managed to turn out of the way just in time which meant no one got hurt. and even though the inquiry into the incident led to chief torpedoman (fantastic job title btw) lawton dawson being sentences to hard labour, fdr intervened and waved away his sentence, saying it was all an accident.

but yeah, so thats my new measure for "how much did i really fuck up?" and when i compared accidentally picking up a pencil case without a tag on it in wilko, turns out it was a very minor fuck-up. yes, the cashier had to ask another worker to grab a duplicate so they could scan the barcode, but i didnt nearly kill the president during wartime via accidental friendly fire

#kai rambles #so like #i enjoy ships and learning about them and looking at them but like #i dont really care for warships #i dont hate them viscerally like i do cruise ships but i never really care for them #apart from the ones that were just like either ridiculously designed like the hms captain or the vasa or the novgorod #or the ones where just insane shit happened like with the william d porter #like this isnt even the extent of the porters unfortunate incidents like shr was sank by a kamikaze attack that MISSED #but somehow ended up below the ship and exploded and just like yeeted the porter out of the water #william d porter #uss william d porter #ww2 #world war 2 #world war ii #warships #again warships are really not my thing but god some of them are so fucking funny #uss iowa #fdr #franklin d. roosevelt #this suddenly got so many notes in like less than 24 hours what the fuck #shipposting

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wiisagi-maiingan · 11 months

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I'm all for natural remedies and traditional medicine, but I think when your "natural remedy" is based on the idea that water can become medicinal by being in the presence of a teeny itty bit amount of something, then it's probably bullshit and you're getting scammed. Go buy some ibuprofen or see a doctor.

#this is a long way for me to say that homeopathy is a scam!!#and that ''homeopathic professionals'' deliberately prey on vulnerable and scared people #especially chronically and terminally ill women looking for help and answers to illnesses they don't understand #so then they end up paying absurd money for fucking PLACEBOS #literal bottles of water and sugar pills that can supposedly cure their diabetes or fibromyalgia or cancer #and it's fucking disgusting and shameful okay

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puppetmaster13u · 4 months

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Prompt 159

Tucker is done. Absolutely done. Danny, this time it’s your fault, and not his, this time it wasn’t him who touched the magical weird artifact thing. At least Sam is there too, so they can complain together.

Or they would, if not for the fact that their bodies are toddlers, and somehow stuck to freaking ghost-speak! And not even proper ghost-speak but like, toddler ghost speak!

He can’t see his PDA anywhere either, which is downright heartbreaking. Patricia had been the best thing he’d made to date! And she was now gone!

At least Danny is also stuck in the same situation as them and- Wait. Okay. Nope, he better not have just seen Sam float slightly. It would not be fair if she got ghost-powers too- holy realms his hand just went through the floor. Okay. Alright.

They apparently all have ghost powers now. As toddlers. In some unknown place that had some sort of ecto-stream runoff thing. That wasn’t concerning at all.

Oh, did he mention the gold-eyed figure staring at them from across said stream? Well they were across the stream, now they seem to be staring at them from like a foot away and maybe having a breakdown. Or a headache? They were clutching their head is what he was trying to say, but his stupid baby vision wasn’t the best at a distance.

Yeah he’s blaming this one on Danny.

#dcxdp #dpxdc #prompts #sam manson #danny fenton #tucker foley #talons #The talons are Pretty Sure these are strange baby-talons but think they might be sick #So they’re taking turns hiding them from the Court so they aren’t destroyed #Someone will eventually find out that there’s several rogue Talons stealing from stores #That day is not today #Halfa trio #Talons are attempting to parent & might end up stealing some Lazarus Waters #The issue is that the closest Pits are either under Gotham or in the Batcave #Tucker wants to throttle Danny because they’re freaking BABIES #Dude they’re in diapers and it’s absolutely horrible he does Not Like #This is how Tucker learns he can just summon handfuls of sand to throw at his friends

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amelia-yap · 7 months

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QUACK

#ruby rose #weiss schnee #whiterose #white rose #rwby #my art #lmao i've been so unproductive #a little inspired from that one video where weiss called ducks chickens lol #they are water chickens #also i read the timetable wrong for class today and ended up a bit late hjhhjh #it was like 5 mins something and i thought it starts a half hour later lmao #the timetable confuses me so much 😂#im glad i always get to school early being super late on the first day would be crappy #ducks chonky

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luminarai · 1 year

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dog owners vs cat owners: the immortal gay edition

#my art #tog #the old guard #andromaquynh #andyquynh #joenicky #kaysanova #quynh tog #andromache the scythian #nicky di genova #nicolo di genova #yusuf al kaysani #joe al kaysani #I was getting notes on some old old art and it reminded me of the whole ‘Nicky has the vibes of the #ma there’s a weird cat outside’ cat #esp in the ‘just stopped murdering each other & joe has yet to find a decent body of water to kick Nicky into’#-era of their relationship #also I accidentally went ham on their outfits there is zero cohesion or reason in what they’re wearing #I like to imagine that they all at some point ended up having to snag some clothing off of some rich bastard’s washing line #and over time it accumulates into being just random pieces from random places #except joe who probably painstakingly embroidered his tunic to match his cloak much to Nicky’s confusion and fascination #Nicky: why do you bother? it’s just going to get dirty or bloody again’#Joe: you were literally growing out a tonsure when we met #Nicky: what does that have to do with anything?#Joe: *miranda devilwearsprada look of unsurprised disgust*

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turtleblogatlast · 20 days

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Every day I’m haunted by the fact the boys happily swim in sewer water

Even if it’s filtered somehow there’s no way it’s not still nasty 😭 Bet they can defeat any of their villains just by accidentally giving them diseases I swear

#rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #bless their hearts but they’re nasty #it’s funny because like #each and every one of them has moments #where they’re a typical disgusting teenage boy #and then the next they have STANDARDS #can’t blame Leo for being so determined to go to a spa #even if he nearly licked his own foot that’s prob cleaner than anything else the boys have been up to in years 💀#thank you shelldon for all your hard work cleaning after then 🙏#they’re all gross teenage boys!!!#even Donnie he is NO exception here #bro was DRINKING A BEVERAGE while wading through sewer water he is just as gross as his bros #bro also talks with his mouth full he is no more refined than his equally gross bros fr and I love it #but yeah no way that water isn’t disgusting even filtering it would still leave grime on the walls of the sewer for yearsss #pros of them moving into an abandoned subway system is fixing their sense of smell enough to not be as gross #100% that’s part of why they didn’t mind being so filthy pre shelldon #because I mean they were literally raised in the sewers and they’re teenage boys like that’s a double whammy #THEY ALSO DONT WEAR SHOES #the few times any of them do the shoes are discarded before heading home 💀#I love them tho they are endearing anyhow #April’s immune system must be godlike just being around them fr #honestly no joke Mikey’s probably the cleanest of them all #just by virtue of being a chef #Leo I see as a mixture since he no doubt loves to pamper himself so he’s clean like #a percentage of time before he goes out and ruins his own hard work #Donnie is similar in that he’s just VERY SELECTIVE about what he thinks is too gross #Raph may be more on the stinky end but it’s not his fault he has his stinks and eats things of dubious origin(esp since his bros ate poison)#Donnie and Leo really have the gall to be sick about Raph eating the origami salami but they have no room to talk #all their villains are prob like please stay away from us we have salmonella now

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naturecalls111 · 11 months

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Attention

#one piece #lawlu #hs au #monkey d luffy #trafalgar d water law #please please please read laws poem as corny and stupid I tried so hard to make it unserious in a way that was obvious how unserious it was #the first version of the poem my friend told me sounded to serious #so I wrote the poem I ended up using in about a minute please enjoy #in my freshman year of college I used to do freestyle raps at my roommate until she told me to stop because I thought it was so funny #sometimes it would go on for a seriously long time and still I persisted #I digress #my point is the poem about is 100% the structure of my freestyles in my freshman year of college

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ourflagmeansgayrights · 6 months

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ed is absolutely panicking in 2x7 bc he’s seeing stede having the time of his life being a famous pirate and he’s genuinely happy for stede but also he wants out of this life and he’s afraid stede will choose piracy over him and so he’s leaving first before stede can leave him again, all of which is bc deep down ed still thinks he’s unlovable and he’s scared to get hurt by stede again and he’s handling everything very badly

all that being said

the fact that ed has already decided that he can’t choose piracy for stede’s sake is so important to me

piracy was slowly killing ed long before stede entered the picture. and now that ed’s decided that he wants warmth and food and orgasms and he wants to live he’s not going to force himself to do a job that makes him fucking miserable. he still might not think he’s worth love and not worth choosing, but he’s at least moved past thinking he deserves to die. he’s past making himself so miserable that he wants to die. ed still has a lot of work to do but he’s making good progress and i’m proud of him.

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willowser · 3 days

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touya is halfway through his workday, grease up to his elbows, little jumpsuit half undone down to his waist, when iguchi comes in to tell him "someone's askin' for you out here".

he's not sure who it could be, but there's no telling, so he just decides to take a smoke break and wander out of the automotive garage, maybe imagining one of siblings out on the pavement.

but the minute he sees you, he stops. nearly drops his cigarette on a rough, "oh shit."

it's been a while since he's seen you, a year or two, and the packet of paper in your hand can only mean one, bullshit thing.

"nah, nah, nah, i ain't signing any papers," is how he greets you, shaking his head the minute you start up the path with a big, determined frown. touya doesn't run, but he sure twists on his heel and starts back up the path, too, as you start calling out his name.

practically all of his coworkers are watching when he comes back into view, not bothering to hide how nosy they're being. their audience makes you falter just a tad and touya clings onto it; anything to stop you.

"never a good sign when your wife comes to find you at work."

there's a long silence, from everyone. when he looks back at you—at your manilla folder and carefully stapled documents, your petition for divorce—your eyes are heavy and wet, almost the same way they were when the two of you stood in a courtroom, lying about your age in order to pledge until death do you part.

almost. now they're just sad.

from somewhere in the garage, toga calls out a bewildered, "you have a wife?" that makes him feel a way he can't understand, both amused and devastated all at once.

your wedding ring isn't on your finger, but if he stares long enough, he can maybe see the difference in color of your skin, a former tan-line that's begun to fade.

he sold his for stuff he shouldn't have been buying, stuff that ruined him and you and your marriage, a long time ago.

but touya only smiles, and calls back, "yeah, i do."

#not DID have a wife #not has a wife FOR NOW #he's like. yes I DO HAVE A WIFE AND WILL UNTIL I DIE. YES.#idk i just have been loving the idea of childhood friends to lovers touya but he fucks it up along the way #and the two of you never get divorced just kind of linger in limbo while you live separate lives #and when you come to be like. okay let's end this OFFICIALLY bc it's been over for a WHILE NOW #he's like. um absolutely NOT.#LOL he's so stubborn he refuses akfndiska #sorry that this is dog water i hope the idea translates regardless LOL #✿ thoughts: dabi/touya

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minniiaa · 2 months

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POV you have one of the coolest names (Trafalgar D. Water Law) and one of the hardest nicknames (Surgeon of Death) then one day a dumbass 19 year old appears and decides to be your friend and now everyone refers to you as TRAFFY

#law really can’t catch a break #Traffy actually worst nickname #he tries so hard to be cool #and always ends up looking so lame #Luffy’s like hi this is my friend Traffy! and you know no one will take him seriously after that #one piece #law #trafalgar law #trafalgar d water law #traffy #op #yes I know his nickname in jp is torso

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greenbirdtrash · 5 months

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