#and who i am is unoriginal

[kirayaykimura]

a day late and a keycard short

Obi had the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen on his arm, unfortunately. 

He was supposed to have a tall blonde in a distractingly low-cut gown as his date to the tedious silent auction he found himself trapped in for the evening. She would get their mark, Mr. Ernst Blofeld, for the evening to strike up a conversation with her using this eye contact trick she developed years ago (that only worked about forty percent of the time), float the idea that she and Obi were very open to a more private party, would he like to show them his hotel room?, and then drug him to the gills, steal the weapons he was about to sell, intercept the buyer later, and vanish into the night. Instead, his date was a short red-head in a collared gown and heels she clearly wasn’t confident walking in. The opposite of Blofeld’s type. The way his eyes traveled down her body and away without a second glance confirmed it. This would be-

“Oh, dear. I am so sorry!” Shirayuki said to Blofeld. Who she just stumbled into. 

-challenging. 

“You would do well to better control your woman,” Blofeld said to Obi, ignoring Shirayuki’s apology completely. 

And the old money flaunted its old-fashioned politics as well. Charming. 

Blofeld’s look of distaste morphed into a pained grimace when Shirayuki accidentally drove her stiletto into his toes. With soft leather like that, she was bound to leave a mark.

“Forgive me, I must have had one too many drinks tonight,” Shirayuki said. Yuzuri would’ve sold the clumsy drunk act better, but Shirayuki’s lack of commitment to the bit by not even attempting to slur her words was funnier. 

“Let’s get you to bed,” Obi said. Maybe, if Obi was lucky, he might be able to strike up a conversation with Blofeld later without the woman who had bodily harmed him twice and get a different plan rolling. Otherwise he’d have to get creative, and no one liked when he got creative in the field. 

Obi led her out of the hotel ballroom and towards the elevators across the lobby with a hand on the small of her back. If anyone asked, he would say he was only thinking about alternative plans to secure the drug later. He simply didn’t have the brain space to note the way the lace of her dress felt beneath the tips of his fingers or the heat of her body through the cloth. That would also be weird to note about a coworker so he absolutely did not do that, stop asking. 

He was so distracted, both thinking and not thinking, that he nearly stumbled over his own feet when Shirayuki pulled him into a corner of the area in front of the elevators. She was lucky he was naturally graceful, otherwise she’d be smushed against the wall right about now. 

Obi raised an eyebrow to silently ask what she was trying to do. Shirayuki pointed at the ceiling and mouthed, Dead spot. 

No cameras. Got it. 

Then, she slipped a key card out of her sleeve and flashed it at him triumphantly. 

“Damn, sticky fingers. Impressive,” Obi whispered, catching on to the fact that she had clearly pickpocketed Blofeld during her run-in. 

“I gave him mine, so that should buy us some time,” she whispered. 

He wouldn’t notice it was missing, and wouldn’t be able to burst in on them rummaging through his room with the key he did have. Not a bad plan at all. One day he’d stop being impressed by Shirayuki, maybe, but not today. 

“Let’s do it,” Obi said.

#undercover as lovers #obiyuki #obiyukimadness24 #listen. have i done nearly exactly this same plot with yuzuri dropping out of being obi's fake girlfriend and making shirayuki stand in? #yes #i refuse to apologize for who i am #and who i am is unoriginal #my fic

[satanic-fruitcake]

hhhh

#considering doing a Classic Satanic-Fruitcake move and rewording a point i made in the farscape discord to make it a tumblr meta post #but i am so very tired . why do i always get this urge at 3 am. why does it feel embarrassing to remaster discord messages into tumblr posts #silly brian is like BUT WHAT IF THE PEOPLE I ORIGINALLY SAID IT TO SEE. THEYLL KNOW IM UNORIGINAL AND VYING FOR MORE ATTENTION!! #okay. that’s literally fine. what’s the problem. this is social media everything we do is for attention #there are people who blatantly steal other peoples posts. this is fine and normal. calm down #becoming really fond of this just post a word and ramble like a madman in the tags genre of posts. i see why it’s so popular. #your daily dose of idiocy

[drabbles-of-writing]

Fun fact about cardinals! They originally first got their name by colonists arriving in America. Why were they named this, you may ask? Because to the colonists, they were the same ‘cardinal red’ as the robes of the cardinals in the Roman Catholic church. So what I’m saying here is that Wittebro made a very definite choice in his palisman carving.

#the owl house #toh #cardinals #flapjack #cardinal palisman #wittebro #facts #text post #talk #drabble post #giving a witch hunter clone the name Hunter is definitely peak unoriginality #but my religious colonist man saw the opportunity to make a palisman and decided #'you know what. religiously related bird. i should do that' #and then his descendants later made a yellow cardinal #or maybe the yellow cardinal is as old as flapjack! if thats the case i am so sorry to the clawthorne he hooked up with! #imagine trying to get matching palismans with yr bae but turns out he just picked it bc hes having another religious moment #i WILL say tho. dana was very clever for this #peak. nobody is doing it like her #and i havent seen anyone else pointing it out so i will happily be the one who does

[spynorth]

I would love to jump on the bandwagon and pretend I’m a decent person … but the truth is …. It just isn’t so.

#i have wonderful friends who I met through writing duplicate muses #and I have wonderful friends who ended up writing duplicates later #and in all cases they are characters and people that mean a lot to me and I love them and their different views and takes that I otherwise #might not have ever opened up my eyes too. #sadly though - 98% of my experience with duplicates is that they are insecure. whiny. guilt trippy. unoriginal. guilt trippy. whiny. #liars and thieves. #I’m not here to hold hands sorry 🤷‍♂️ #i think it’s different on any muse I’ve ever had on a multi but someone I just #lol no. #i don’t mind duplicates but I also am fully prepared for them to be the worst person ever bc that’s just how it is. #like tagging me in a reply to anon hate when I don’t even know you. bro please 😂😭

[sasslett]

💭 What does your creative process look like when creating a character?

I am curious 👀

Oh its... it's not good

Is human a race? Pick human, if not pick coolest animal or elf as last resort

Female? Female

Hair first, hair most important. Brown hair, make it long

Eyes: brown

Skin: something that looks a bit tanned but inevitably makes me look like I've never seen the sun

Is there muscle? Make muscle

Class? Something with heavy armor, physical damage, melee

Aaaaaand congrats, you've found every single RPG character I've ever made

#Sassbox #I am #Unoriginal #I'll give five bucks to the first person who can guess what I look like irl #The results may surprise you (they will not surprise you)

[true-autistic-tales]

#no offense to any1 who is but oh my god #also yes i did steal this image from you sugarlol-13 it was funni #axl's unoriginal funnies #actually autistic #BTWW i never mean to use autistic in a negative way cause i literally am autism

[narniangirl1994]

Am I the only one who...didn't find Roy's description of how he deals with bullies to be funny in any way? Hearing a character known for his anger issues and aggression describe in vivid detail how he would physically beat and psychologically torture someone in the middle of the night when they're at their most vulnerable is just.. disturbing.

Like sure, he's talking about a bully, but nothing warrants that kind of approach - especially when you remember the bully in question is a child. Reminds me of how aggressively he wanted to handle Phoebe's bully last season, but was thankfully tempered by Keeley's more empathetic approach. And how Roy's go-to interactions with anyone who even slightly annoys or angers him is to threaten or even enact violence.

It's just not funny. It was barely funny in season 1 and definitely isn't funny in season 3 when his character hasn't progressed in the slightest and continues to intimidate the people around him at all times. 🙄

#ted lasso spoilers #anti roy kent #i really want to like him and do in many ways #but i am just so fucking done with the writers' approach to making him 'funny' #which is to just have him constantly yell at and threaten people #its unoriginal and shows no character vo #growth #and is just flat out disturbing for people who have had to deal with angry men like him before #its especially disappointing when he turns it against his subordinates or a literal victim of child abuse 🙄🙄 #writers need to get their shit together with him but i doubt they ever will

[themoonking]

society has progressed past the need for girlboss greek mythology retellings

#if you're going to girlbossify mythological figures then at least #(1) do it to girlies who actually need to be girlbossified not the few ladies who got a happy ending??? #and (2) actually be a good writer #i walk into the bookstore or the new arrivals section at the library and am bombarded with unoriginal girlboss books #that are either of women from greco roman mythology that actual got something good in the end #or ones that are already insanely popular and the general public understands how they were done wrong #and they dont need to have their image repaired by a mediocre author #and also these books are by so many different authors but all of them look the same i stg does the same person design all the covers? #i speak #greek mythology

[fate-motif]

also can we just talk about picard’s obsession with making its title character the underdog at every turn? i understand conflict is important for storytelling so it wouldn’t be very entertaining if picard’s adventures met no resistance ever from starfleet, and also that from the very beginning of tng picard always had his issues of friction with admirals and other starfleet high ranking officers. but there’s something so horribly out of context for me seeing the plot go and relish in how much of an underdog picard is every time because we all know that out of the narrative trappings of this show… jean luc picard is the closest the star trek fandom has to a patron saint aside from spock. no one ever gets to confront picard and his flaws because the narrative always goes above and beyond to put him in the defensive so he can strut his famed moral fiber as if we hadn’t seen this story for decades already and maybe more importantly, as if that didn’t horribly clash with how in the real world every other protagonist in the star trek fandom is scrutinized to obsessive degrees by tng stans because they’re so obsessed with the all-perfect myth of picard. 

#it’s unoriginal it’s disappointing it’s frustrating it’s out of touch and i am so tired of picard #the character mostly #i respect the show enthusiasts who like the new characters and storylines #star trek #pic #fandom

[aeide-thea]

[internalized cissexism probably]

probablymaybe there is a maybemeaningful difference between people whose primary relationship to transness is ‘knowing for sure they want(ed) to change their bodies’ vs people (like me) whose primary relationship to transness is ‘knowing for sure they want to destabilize the idea that a certain kind of body automatically means a certain kind of gender’

(though like. that’s not a binary with no overlap! probably many/most of us in the second category also have at least some alienated/wistful bodyfeelings, that they might even ever take action about! god knows i really extremely definitely do! i just also have. a lot of barriers between me and even identifying what i want, let alone taking any action about it. [see also: lunch.])

but also i kind of think the weird self-deprecating urge to be like ‘😔 yes i promise i am aware of my cis-passing privilege and know it makes me Less Trans Than Thou really’ or whatever (which like. said so-called cis-passing privilege is situational and also upsets me even as it lends me certain types of safety [and removes others tbh! like. when i get read as a queer woman it’s. really not always a positive vs being read as a maybeiguess boy/man!]) is. not really in fact all that helpful and actually kind of strengthens pretty cis ideas abt how gender even works and abt how natural and dominant the cis framing is, such that like, if it’s at all conceivable to round someone down to basically-cis it’s appropriate to do it—that it’s got such strong gravity you gotta achieve escape velocity or else be stuck in orbit around it forever. whereas i’m really quite deeply invested in the idea that like. essentially the same gender experience is potentially viewable thru a variety of lenses, and we ask the person involved which one(s) feel(s) best to them, and what they say is what we go with, not what we decide we think about their body or their trajectory or their peer group or whatever else.

(anyway. nothing new here really i just like. have no bolstering so i gotta keep shoring myself up.)

#like part of me definitely is like #'the people who have experience of medical/surgical transition or at least Know they want it r the Real Trans Ppl' #and i just think like. this is truly SO deeply unhelpful to me #like if i am/become one of those people—in order to realize it i'm now gonna have to jump over this weird deferential mental barrier #that i've erected for myself that says i'm Not one of them #when like. again. whether you Are/Aren't? not i think in fact a binary #and also like. ultimately the people who have experience of medical/surgical transition are... the people who have experience of that #that's all. which is not nothing! but is also not‚ like‚ the entirety or even essence of What Transness Is. i don't think #blegh. idk. feels like i've got an eternal festering wound like the fisher king or philoctetes or whoever you like #and periodically i just. express some pus. unclear whether this accomplishes anything besides like. spreading the pus around #(probs a whole conversation here abt like. the way i've reached for physical metaphor to make my feelings sound real) #(when my feelings are *about* whether i have to express my feelings physically for them to be real) #god. okay. enough for now. #what is gender we just don't know #feelingsblogging #the psyche #(okay no one last unoriginal thing which is that it doesn't in fact help that the gender i want to pass as doesn't exist) #(or anyway doesn't in fact exist as a single coherent concept) #(like arguably i'm already passing as it‚ only what 'passing as it' looks like is 'getting violently fractured into disparate shards') #('and then having ppl pick whatever shard best fits the cis binary paradigm for that situation') #(which uh. is not actually super heartening. somehow.)

[laylakeating]

Hi love your content! Was wondering if you’d ever consider making a Jordayla tropes gifset on your Jordayla account

i absolutely would !!!!!! i don't know if it'll top the tropes set my bff @tabithatate made for my bday but i will certainly give it a shot 🫡

#dk if you've seen that set anon but justine is a giffing goddess who is soooo talented !! #my set will definitely be inspired by hers bc i am tragically unoriginal 😁 #asked and answered #anonymous

[unma]

Frans AU where Sans is a devil/witch/whatever you like that makes a deal with Frisk which ensures he will come back to take their firstborn as payment. Of course, you know where this is going: Frisk immediately tries to jump Sans' bones, to comedic results.

#unma rambles #wow how unoriginal I am #had that idea because I saw yet another post about this classic deal #but honestly it's kinda funny for me to think about #btw #anyone who wants to write off any of my prompts has permission forever unless I say otherwise #and by that I mean if I say otherwise I am no longer leaving the option open for you; I am magically compelling you to do so

[inkskinned]

no, actually, where is the whimsy?

my ex had a best friend named larry who asked me once: what do you think comes after irony?

we were at the bar where larry worked. it was a quiet night, and he'd hopped over to sit with us on the patron side. i swirled the lemon around my limoncello martini.

earnest positivity, i said, while my ex said, art self-destructs.

i stared at my ex. he stared at me.

his argument was the cinemasins argument: look how bad media is becoming! look at the loopholes and the dumb shit!

it was roughly 2011. galaxy print was still in. at the time, i had a favorite shirt that was a wolf howling at the moon. it got ripped in half in the wash and i honestly still mourn it. i dressed like effie stonem, because everyone did. and irony was the name of the thing. men liked MLP "ironically." the internet liked the kind of crass, "anti-mainstream" vibes of things like fuck romance, touch my butt and buy me pizza. we put cats in sunglasses everywhere, which was because we only liked things in irony.

and media had the same vibe in it: anti-hero white men would be "hard to love" and then storm off the scene. nobody was just earnestly trying to save the world: they were jaded, angry, unoriginal. mad you even asked them to try to help.

my ex ends up not being wrong. cinemasins becomes super popular. a lot of people start viewing media with this lens that is the cruelest, most jaded depiction. it's wrong for your character to have unexplained powers, even if the entire movie is about how strange it is she has unexplained powers - that is still considered a "loophole." characters make thoughtless, panicked choices? loophole. characters are actually kind people, despite hardship? loophole. features a woman doing literally anything without assistance? loophole. movies become hyper-aware of scrutiny, and now irony rules the media.

which means you go to a movie, and the character has to turn to the screen and say "beats me!!" or one of the side characters has to have some kind of quip like "are you seriously telling me that you think this is normal?" because nothing can happen in earnest. like a sitcom laugh track, we now anticipate the fourth-wall break: the moment that the media acknowledges it is telling a story. the media has to apologize for itself, or else someone like my ex rolls their eyes.

but here's the thing: i wasn't wrong either.

the difference might be that i am (and always have been) so soft-hearted that any crack in the light of this world will spear me into the ground. and i was the poet in the relationship. (he thought that was the same thing as being naïve and stupid). i was making things daily. i knew how all of us artists are driven by some strange desire to evolve. he notably liked to critique art, not to create it.

so yes, i've made things that are bitter and angry and even ironic. i've made long, sharp poems with all capital letters, and i've made poems about how the silence stretches out like a song. someone wrote once that we will spend our whole lives just circling the place we grew up. i think it's more that we spend our whole lives trying to remake a home. i think it's that as we age, it becomes less exciting to build the castle on the beach - we become aware of erosion, of windforce. we realize what we really want is to come home to our dog, castle or not.

and while art in the foreground is mired in white male violence and irony, and aggression, and not taking anything seriously - i don't think that's true of all art. i think more and more artists are leaning in to the things we love. the world has changed so much. they have taken so many things from us. the only thing we have left is love. at the bottom of the moving box - all we get is the faint sense that we have to appreciate what little we've got. i can't enjoy this stuff ironically anymore: what room do i have for irony? if it makes me happy, that is an amazing thing. there are so few happy places left for me. i want to be happy because of how leaves shiver beside each other like nestling birds. i want to be happy because of the color pink, and how magenta doesn't exist. i have spent so much of this life suffering, i have earned my right to a gentle ending. if nothing matters, i get to assign meaning to the nothing. i get to create meaning. i am an artist first and foremost, which means creation is my thing.

where is the whimsy? wherever i fucking put it. because if this is my last fucking chance to do any good in this world - i want to do it earnestly. i want to write things that make you happy. that make people feel heard and seen. what comes after irony has to be positivity.

it was close to my 21st birthday. in 7 years, i would end up writing a book about this relationship, which is hopefully coming out somewhere around May 2024. i come back to this bar scene in my memories a lot. i keep thinking of how pale my ex was. the look that crossed his face. how i looked back at him. how for a moment, both of us couldn't recognize the other person. like the gulf between us was a suddenly wide and cavernous thing. like we were alien to each other. he never took my opinion seriously, and he always seemed surprised whenever his manic-pixie-dream-girl ever broke free of the plot. like in the whole time we were together, i wasn't human enough.

this knowledge: where he said nothing comes after, my only instinct was what comes after is love.

#spilled ink #writeblr #this is a real story lol #looking back i liked larry as a person SO much more than my ex hollyyyyy shitttt #compulsory heterosexuality will do you DIRTY #edit to correct effies name my apologies to effie and effies family

[affinityraee]

Sometimes i get so creative that i somehow am like very unoriginal. Like then i question everything and thats bad.

#who am i #help #unoriginal #am i losing my mind #i cant spell #AAAAA #screaming #random take

[n3ptun1cal]

I MADE ANOTHER REGRETEVATOR AU. YAAAAAAAAY

this time its where I make all the NPCs into CRITTERS!! MORE ABOUT IT BELOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

the ABOVE lampert design was made by @lucid-daydreaming-art hi lucid the above infected design was made by @unoriginal-and-dumb hi unodum also the isopod (kasper critter) design was made by @deceasedabyss YAY If you wanna know more about what I have so far read below LOL

BASICALLY this AU is just a universe where all of them are small, everything in their world is small so they never evolved to be bigger because they didnt have a need to. not super creative but I might expand on that later the NPCs names have been replaced, so Prototype is named Byte, Kasper is named Isopod, and Lampert is named Grub. Essentially, their names can be anything but they must be short and sweet. obviously im going to tie IKEA into this because I can, basically how I see it is that IKEA is one of the only floors that acts as a central hub for multiple people from different universes to meet in, which would probably explain the reason why theres multiple lamperts who know of each other's existences.. (if that was already explained though let me know LOL im a little dense) ANYWAY the reasoning for how or why lampert or infected would ever be able to hold Grub and Isopod is because these stupid critters somehow got trapped in IKEA and made their way onto the elevator out of curiosity and a need to escape.. although I doubt the employees would even bother to attack things that are literally the size of an apple tldr; i made an au where there are smaller versions of the npcs because i thought it was funny and also a silly idea but I wanted to expand on it because making an AU just to make small versions of the NPCs is BOORRRIIIINNGGGG and everything needs to have a story because I am!!! in love with this game and its characters. YAY thanks for reading my 7 am ramble I need sleep i almost forgot to mention that this all stemmed from this stupid doodle that I made in jackbox today

#im so sleep deprived it isnt even funny #i have work tomorrow #regretevator #infected regretevator #kasper regretevator #regretevator lampert #lampert regretevator #regretevator fanart #regretevator art #roblox #regretevator infected #infected #regretevator prototype #prototype regretevator #alternate universe

[hazbinwhoree]

reader that keeps adam in line and behaving well by simply flooding him with affection. adam being rude? grab his face, call him baby, tell him how handsome and great he is. then have him be have nicer to prove how kind a man he apparently is.

You Catch More Flies With Honey

“Holy fucking shitballs, am I seeing who I think I’m seeing?” Adam stopped walking abruptly as Charlie and Vaggie passed them. “What is she doing here? How did she even get up here?” Lute snarled.

“Who cares? I’m handling this shit, right now!” Adam moved to follow them, but (Name) stopped him with her hands on his chest. He looked down at her, his anger softening.

“You want to start a fight on the promenade in front of everyone?” Lute pointed out.

“Better than waiting for the fucking extermination–” (Name) cuts him off, yanking him down by his collar. “Adam,” she said sweetly. “Baby. Remember the Seraphim’s rule?” Adam grumbled, but didn’t argue. (Name) patted his cheek. “And you’re better than starting a fight like that. That’s not the kind of man I’m dating.”

Adam whined, but leaned into her hand on his cheek.

Lute rolled her eyes at Adam’s behavior. At least (Name) had him on a tight leash.

During court, (Name) was working overtime.

“Webster’s Dictionary defines redemption as–” Charlie began. “Objection!” Adam interrupted. “Lame and unoriginal.” (Name) nudged his arm. Sera, however, agreed with him. “If you have actual evidence then show it already,” Adam snapped. (Name) rubbed his back.

Court carried on, and eventually Lute got pissed and interjected. “What are we even talking about? Some crack whore who fucked up already? He blew his shot like the cocks in his mouth, this discussion is senseless and petty.”

Adam joined her and they flew down to Charlie and Vaggie’s level and (Name) didn’t even bother trying to follow. Adam and Lute fed off one another, and (Name) wasn’t at all surprised when Adam let it slip about the exterminations.

The room errupted into chaos, and before long, Adam was outing Vaggie as a fallen angel. As he threatened Charlie and Vaggie into the portal back to Hell before closing it on them, (Name) flew down from her seat.

“That was unnecessary, Adam,” Sera said stoically. She looked at (Name) with a “take care of it” look. (Name) marched over to Adam and Lute and dismissed Lute. Once Lute was gone, (Name) pulled Adam down by the collar to cup his face in her hands.

“That was mean, handsome.”

Adam looked sheepish. “Yeah I know…”

(Name) sighed, kissing the corner of his mouth. “Mean enough to warrant no sex tonight.” Adam’s jaw dropped. “No!” (Name) let go of his collar, taking his hands in hers. “You’re lucky I’m feeling nice, pretty boy.” Adam sighed in relief.

“But you are going to leave their hotel alone.”

“What?”

“I’m serious, Adam. You’re going to go about the extermination the way you usually would. You’re not going to target their hotel.”

“But–” “Or we could just not have sex tonight.”

Adam whined before finally agreeing. “Ugh, fine.”

“Thank you, baby,” (Name) cooed, cuddling up to his chest. Adam wrapped his arms around her. “Yeah, whatever.”

“You’re too handsome to be doing all that asshole shit.”

Adam softened under the praise, picking (Name) up so she could kiss him on the lips. “I’m sorry,” he said when (Name) pulled back.

“Just do better, my love.”

“I will.”

#hazbin adam #adam x reader #hazbin alastor #hazbin angel dust #hazbin charlie #hazbin husk #hazbin vaggie #hazbin vox #hazbin hotel #hazbin lute #x reader #oneshot #oneshots #fluff #hazbin lucifer #hazbin sir pentious #hazbin niffty