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#animals can do no wrong actually they're all perfect and i love them
monstriiss · 10 months
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mono-dot-jpeg · 6 months
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boy failures for u - i. yoichi, s. nagi, s. ryusei, b. meguru
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summary; in which some boys just love you so much, they simply can't function
genre/extra tags; scenarios, fluff, comedy, projecting my love for dog energy boys, they're so pathetic /pos, bachira is clumsy, ryusei is an embarrassingly horny dude (can confirm, he gets no bitches, absolutely ZERO play!!), nagi... is perfect as he is, yoichi,,,, is just socially awkward around people he has a crush on
[gender neutral reader]
a/n; look at me being fancy this one panel banner, slay. tbh i couldn't think of a good three photos to use for it so i tried this which is kind of nice. anyways i had a sudden thought hit me and it must be done. and what better anime to write for than the one where everyone has unexplainable gay tension between each other. i swear im as caught up as possible i think and i swear the gay tension is like,, crazy.
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isagi yoichi is endearing. he's so bad at being normal around you. his face flushed a cute red, and his words barely managing to leave his mouth as you talk to him so sweetly. he doesn't know how to handle a crush. and it's so cute to tease him because he just doesn't know how to respond properly.
the times where he does manage to gain enough confidence to talk a conversation with you, he's never taking the lead in any of them. he's talking [somewhat] normally to you, answering your questions and [attempting] to reply to your thoughts and responses. of course, just don't flirt with him too hard. there's like a 50 percent chance he will understand it or not.
he can't even admire you correctly. when he attempts to give you a compliment, he's saying all the wrong words and apologizing profusely like he offended your entire bloodline. he's so utterly enchanted by you, he wonders if you're an angel sent just for him.
"you're so nice, y/n." "huh?" "i-i mean you're really cute! wait- i didn't mean that! fuck- not that i don't think you look cute! you're really a great person, you know?! sorry! i'm just gonna go back to practice...!"
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nagi seishiro is so lazy that you can't help but watch over him. you understand why reo adores him (a little too much). he's a boy with pretty privilege and talent. he talks to you with such honesty that he unintentionally flirts with you. he doesn't know a lot of things well, but even he's had his fair share with understanding liking people (but that's only with the random dating sims he's tried).
when he manages to get on his feet, whether it's for a soccer match or you, he's stuck by you like a cute koala. he whines about everything being "too much of a hassle." but he finds himself walking around looking for you, no matter how far you are. he whines to you about how he had to get up to find you, and he's cuddling close to you. his mouth turned into his signature X shape as he pouts at you, annoyed that you just had to be away from him for more than a minute.
he tries so hard to be around you but at the cost of his laziness, he mutters to you about how much easier it would be if you just stay with him all the time like his purple-haired companion or his cactus pet. he fell for you first, but he makes it so easy for you to fall harder.
"why do you always have to do stuff?" "it's my job, sei." "you should just stay with me all the time. you take care of me so well."
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shidou ryuusei is annoyingly desperate for you. if isagi was endearing, shidou was insolent. he speaks before he thinks. he has no shame in chasing after you. it's quite a feat that you haven't even shooed him away as much as sae has. you sort of find a friend in sae because of that. he always rolls his eyes when you mention him. he wonders why you keep being around the blonde jock, and you tell him, "who doesn't love a pathetic man?"
when he talks to you, he just can't read a room with you in it. he's the type of guy to say "this shot is for you." and it hits the goal post and then to his face. of course he'd never actually miss in a real match but i can guarantee that it would happen during a practice match. he unintentionally humiliates himself every time he tries to be cool. if sae is there, it's even worse. he's trying to bump up the flirting up to a 200 and failing miserably to woo either of you.
he's like those tweets where it's like, "how did i pull them? easy. i just went, PLEASEPLEAPLSEPWPLEAPLELA-". without fail, he basically tries to re-enact that but he doesn't even pull you because you'd much rather wait for him to actually be a decent man and grow the rest of his brain. though it doesn't seem he'll learn his lesson anytime soon.
"did i ever tell you how hot you look right now?" "yes. you have. multiple times. today." "please go out with me." "no."
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bachira meguru is confusing. he's clingy, blunt, teasing, a little stupid but has the spirit, and an absolute cutie. he's passionate about what he likes. and surprise, surprise, he likes you. he's an infodumper but you don't mind at all. but sometimes those talks take a hard left into just telling you how much he likes you. you better hope you're strong because he will be jumping on you for a hug.
when he's just buzzing with excitement, he can't help but scramble by your side to cling onto you in any way that you will allow him to. he's not as boy failure as the others on this list because even when he fails to capture your heart, he's still succeeding in his book. he loves when you give him any sliver of attention. that's probably his thing as a boy failure. he is a hyper and needy dog who's too big to cuddle with but doesn't care. and you can't say no because then they just stare at you with those big eyes until you cave.
he's the type of guy to be confused when people ask if you're dating him and you say no. "what do you mean we're not dating? i thought this was the dating." he's never actually confessed, but he considers his "s-tier affection" to be confession enough. but he's kind of coward whether he realizes it or not. he's scared to actually say that he wants to be yours, but that's like an angsty story for another time, SO SHUT.
"what if we kissed? like right now?" "but we're not dating, meguru." "we're not? we should." "i'll think about it." "no think! just do!"
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hezuart · 6 months
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Thoughts on the “Look my Way” music video? For context if you don’t know, this is a fan song that’s just animated. Paranoid DJ had written this song awhile back, though Viv did take out some lyrics and switch them up a bit. What I personally don’t like is that there’s a line in the original where Stolas mentions the “impish play thing” line, as well as acknowledges that Octavia is hurting, and Viv cut that out. The song itself also doesn’t help for the show narratively really regarding the ship of Stolitz.
OMYGOD Okay so much to talk about here. It's a BEAUTIFUL song, amazing song, and I even loved the original of it. The animation for this AMV is breathtaking, everyone did an AMAZING job on it. This is what Helluva Boss songs should sound like. I was annoyed with that one scene, albeit very pretty where Stolas and Blitz have a string attached to the pinky finger, which is an indication of soulmates. This bothers me because a soulmate is either A. someone you have been reincarnated with over the years to love or B. Someone you click with- someone who completes you. You meet in every lifetime or they are the perfect person for you. This does not fit Stolas X Blitz AT ALL. They are not perfect for each other, they are complete opposites and the entire appeal and beauty of their relationship was the fact that they were fuckbuddies! They weren't even friends! They were tied up in manipulations, classism, and power imbalances. Their relationship required a lot of growth, a lot of work, and a LOT of learning on what love actually was, how to maintain it, and how to right their wrongs like-They needed to actively explore and learn what love means. They needed to find a real connection that would actually give them chemistry. Being soulmates is a complete cop-out. (Soulmates don't rely on reincarnation, but some do- and reincarnation is not a thing for demons???) You could say I'm overthinking it and being nitpicky with this visual, but this is exactly what it is! That is a soulmate string!!! He even says "I'll grant you this mercy, this bind on our souls-" LIKE BRUH wHAT !!! I'm so mad about what their relationship has become. They were toxic but not doomed. Now they're nothing Anyway..... still very beautiful and pretty
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I have friends who actually know this guy and work closely with him. Apparently, Viv was the one who asked to change the lyrics of the song because it didn't "fit her story"???????? The lyrics changed: OG: "Come now, my little impish plaything, we both made our choice" Viv: "But dearest, I know better now I must give you this choice" It makes sense why she would want this changed since this song is about Stolas actually finally being in love. But it's still very sus because we still have not addressed Stolas's classism problem that seems to fluctuate episode to episode. OG: "Is this how she'd feel? Abandoned, all alone and left to fend For herself, for some semblance of happiness that doesn't have to end?" Viv: "Is this what you feel? Scorned by a realm that cannot comprehend, What you are, so I'll grant you this mercy this bind- on our souls needs to end" Again I can understand this change because we are going off-topic with Octavia here. However, I do find these changes very suspicious, especially if she wanted the song to better "fit her story". Because these circumstances are things that I have accused Viv of retconning before. Where Stolas wasn't actually in love with Blitz from the start and only saw him as a shiny toy, an "impish little plaything". Where Stolas was actually shady in cheating on his wife and not being there for his daughter nor really understanding her. "Home doesn't feel like home anymore. You ruined it." I can understand in the context of the song why these lines would be removed, but in the context of the overall story, I'm very suspicious of it, because those are very important contexts that people try to insist are "just people's headcanons" when they literally aren't. This could be considered active proof of Vivziepop retconning her story, but I will go with the latter and stick to my logical explanations for why the lyrics were changed- gonna try to have some faith here.
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Apparently, Cherri and Angel's AMV Addict was also a fan song. In THAT video, this is the description. Fully acknowledging it was a fan song, and giving clear credit to the person who made the song.
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THIS. IS THE DESCRIPTION FOR "JUST LOOK MY WAY"
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NO acknowledging this is a fan-made song. NO credit for Paranoid DJ. No thank you, no praise for the original, no links to the original song- He is at least in the credits, but not the description! This is insanely shady! I don't know if this was just a mistake or not, but this is really uncool. Again, he's at least in the ending credits, but... the description would make it more obvious. Vivziepop has a history of not crediting people for their work- I don't know if she was the one who made this mistake nor not.... this is not the worst it could have been, but at the very least whoever runs the youtube should fix the description out of respect.
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strangemaleswaps · 5 months
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Strange Christmas Family Swap
Christmas is supposed to be the time of year where you celebrate joy with your family and loved ones. But everyone has that one family member no one looks forward to seeing, and I’m no different. For me that person would be my grandpa. He'd always been a really cranky guy who, I swear, could find something to complain about on literally any topic. I don't know why he even comes over for the holidays in the first place. Maybe he's just lonely? At least my siblings are coming home. They're all older than me and left for college years ago. Sometimes I felt like I was behind everyone just because I was the youngest, but they always tell me to enjoy being young while it lasted. At least I still had my dog, Lucy, to keep me company. 
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“Shoot. Ferris, we forgot to buy your grandpa a present,” my mom mentioned while preparing dinner for Christmas Eve.
“Does it matter? He's not gonna like anything anyway.”
“Yes I know. But it's Christmas. The time of year where you need to treat even those you dislike well. Could you quickly go to that gift shop and buy some cheap ornament?”
“Mom, it's Christmas Eve! Half these places are closed or closing soon.” She looked up a store on her phone and showed me that it closed at 5. It was 4:38.
“There's that one hallmark store within walking distance still open. You can make it in time! I just don't want to cause a scene.” I wanted to take the car, but it would take too long to shovel all the snow, so I walked. The store wasn't that far by foot, but it was still an awful time in the freezing cold. When I arrived, there was a single employee at the counter - an old lady with a messy bun. She greeted me and asked what I needed.
“I have just the thing.” She walked over to the shelf and showed me a little Santa ornament that was wearing a galaxy pattern suit instead of the regular red. It was actually a pretty good gift because my grandpa loved outer space, not to mention he kinda looked like Santa anyway, just without the beard.
“This is perfect.”
“Then why do you look sad?” Her response caught me by surprise. “What do you mean?”
“I can tell something’s wrong. It's Christmas Eve. You should be happy!”
“That's probably easy for others. But for me, Christmas means family time and I don't exactly like someone in my family.
“That's a shame. You're lucky to have a family at least.” She looked down at the floor sadly. It was clear what she meant by that.
“But since you still have people in your life I'd like to help you with your problem. Could I have that ornament back please?” I assumed she was about to check me out so I started reaching for my wallet, when she walked into the backroom with the present instead. As soon as the door closed, the power suddenly went out and I was in pure darkness until there was a weird purple glow coming from the door. All of this only lasted about 10 seconds and the power came back on as if nothing happened. Did I just imagine that whole thing? It was weird. The woman walked back out with a big smile on her face.
“Did the power go out or something? And what happened in there?”
“Oh nothing,” she said with a grin. “Merry Christmas!”
“Yeah, Merry Christmas. I guess.” She checked me out and I was on my way back home.
When I arrived, my siblings were already there, as well as my grandpa.
“Hey! It's Ferris!” said my oldest brother Calvin. He had definitely gained a lot of weight since I last saw him, even though he was an athlete in college. Looks like he still refused to shave the messy beard he started last year. My older sibling Sam grinned at me. They looked exactly as they always did - expressing their love of anime with a nerdy t-shirt and wearing ear gauges that have gotten bigger since the last time I saw them. My sister Em walked up to hug me. She was always the one I was closest with, since she was only 2 years older than me.
“I got a present for Grandpa.” He suddenly looked at me, and then to the bag I was holding.
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“It's about time you buy me something! Lemme see.”
“Well not until Christmas.” Despite living to see many Christmases, Grandpa was still an extremely impatient person. He'd actually opened up his Christmas presents early before because he just couldn't stand the wait. This was my first time buying one myself for him (even though it was really just my mom sending me) so I guess he was beyond curious.
“Come on. It's basically Christmas anyway.” He got his large ass out of the seat and approached me. He was wearing a tucked in blue plaid shirt that covered the gut hanging over his pants. He stumbled over to me until we were face to face. I could smell the cigarette smoke on his breath, almost making my eyes water.
“Boy, give me the gift.”
“Dad, just wait until Christmas. You're gonna spoil the surprise.” My mom thankfully defended me and started walking over.
“Fine, but I-” He faked content and snatched the bag from me.
“Dad! Enough!” My mom shouted but it was too late. He had taken the ornament out of the bag, but clumsily dropped it. It shattered all over the floor before he even had a chance to react.
“Oh man.” Sam gulped.
“Now look at what you've done! You ruined my present!” Grandpa yelled in my face.
“Dad! Dad! Calm down. I think you need to go to bed now.”
“Fine! But only because your idiot son ruined my Christmas!” My mom escorted him to the guest room and Em picked up a broom. We both swept together as my mom walked back into the kitchen.
“Could he possibly be more…you know…” I started.
“Horrible? Pathetic?” Calvin added.
“Gross? Nasty?” Sam added.
“Your grandfather is just lonely really. His parents - my grandparents - let him do whatever he wanted. He's a real spoiled man. But I don't think there's any changing him now so let's just endure the day tomorrow and you won't have to see him for a while. Got it?”
“Fine.” The rest of the night was much better and I had a great time with my family. Calvin scarfed down the food so fast he almost choked, Em told me all about what college was like, Sam bragged about his new gauges, and Lucy practically flew under the table as soon as my mom dropped a piece of ham.
When it was time for bed, my siblings got settled into their rooms - Calvin and Sam sharing the same bedroom they did growing up, and Em sleeping in the basement because her old room was turned into an office. I looked at the Christmas tree glimmering with lights and decorations, excited to see what the presents underneath it would look like in the morning. It's a shame that Grandpa's present broke and we had to throw it away, but I guess he got what he deserved for being such a dick. I headed into my bed, where Lucy was already snuggled up in, and nestled up under the covers.
The next morning I woke up to the sounds of shouting, which was unfitting for what was supposed to be a peaceful Christmas morning. It was coming from the room next to me and sounded like my brothers, which was weird because my room was across the hall from them. But it sounded so close. I started getting up, to see what was going on, but when I looked around, I realized I actually was in the guest room
How did I get in here? I gazed down to find my stomach seemed swollen in my white tank top. I lifted it up and to my horror, I realized my slim chest was replaced with a flabby belly! How did I get so fat? I know I ate alot last night but this was ridiculous! The gut flopped out, to a bit over my waist. It felt weird knowing a part of my body was just hanging there. I noticed a bit of chest hair, which was foreign to me, but when I noticed they were gray hairs, it finally hit me. I was a fat old guy in the guest room. I somehow switched bodies with my grandpa!
I heard the voices leave the room so I stumbled over to the door, not quite used to the shift in weight compared to my old twink body, and was about to put my hand on the doorknob when I saw someone looking at me in the mirror. I turned my head to find that it was my grandpa…I mean me…staring back.
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I really did look disgusting, not just because of my looks, but because I now had the face of an impatient jerk. I tried doing different facial expressions; it looked weird because I rarely had ever seen my grandpa smile at all. I noticed that I couldn't see my own dick past the belly, not that I would want to. It was probably all wrinkly and gross! What was I going to do? I opened the door to find Calvin walking to the living room. He looked pretty concerned, which was unusual for the carefree personality he usually had.
“Hey uh..Grandpa?” Fuck. Looks like I'm not imagining it after all. I hated this. “Sorry for the noise, it's just that…”
“I'm not even gonna try to pretend.” I spoke, but my voice came out gravelly and deep. It scared me a little bit. “I'm Ferris, not Grandpa. I don't know how it happened! I just-”
“Shit! That's great! I mean not because you're Grandpa now. But because I'm not alone! I'm actually Sam.”
“Sam?” It was actually kinda funny, Sam and Calvin switching bodies. They were close but still completely different people. I couldn't contain my laughter and started giggling, even though it came out as my Grandpa's gruff wheezes.
“Oh sure. I'M the funny one when Mister-wheeze-a-lot can't laugh without sounding like he's dying.”
“Hey! Well Mister-” I stopped myself trying to continue the joke. “Wait, how does that work?”
“The gender is all up to the person. Sure the…” they stared down at the new extra pounds they now carried and shook their belly. “...expression might be different, at least at the moment, but I'm still me. BUT the idiot who looks like me doesn't seem to understand.” As if on cue, Calvin in Sam's body appeared, walking in a macho way, something that Sam would never do.
“Check it out Grandpa! I'm an enby!” Sam gave a huge facepalm.
“Calvin my sweet brother, We. Have. Been. Over. This.”
“Hey whatever. I think it's cool. My face feels so empty though. Maybe I'll start growing a bea-” Sam cut him off right there.
“If you go out there without a clean shaven face, I'm shaving YOUR beard.”
“God no please. It took me like a year to grow that!” Calvin pleaded.
“Hey hey, what about me?!” I interrupted their arguing.
“Oh yeah,” Sam started. “That's not Grandpa. It's Ferris.”
“Oh man Ferris. You're a fucking old dude now!” exclaimed Calvin. He then poked my new belly. “Welcome to the chub club! Well…” He glaced down at Sam's slim figure. “My membership is on hold for now.”
Just then we heard a scream coming from my mom's room. We quickly opened the door, already knowing what happened. We found my mom staring at the mirror with a look of pure horror on her face.
“It's ok Em, we're all body swapped too.” She seemed to calm down when she realized that she wasn't alone in all this.
“Weird case of Freaky Friday here. Especially with Em….and Mom,” added Calvin. Just then my mom, in Em's body, walked in to join in the confusion.
“Well this is awkward. Two of my kids in each other's bodies, my own son in my dad's and I'm in my own daughter's body. Could this Christmas get any crazier?”
“Where's Grandpa?”
“Probably still sleeping.”
We headed over to my room, expecting him to still be asleep, only to find him flexing in the mirror - in my body. I didn't actually have any real muscles, being a skinny twink, so he didn't really have anything to flex. That didn't stop him from admiring himself. When he noticed us, he walked over smiling. It was a creepy sight, not only to see my body move on its own, but also knowing it's my grandpa inside there smiling.
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“Hello everyone. It's good to be young again!”
“Uh hey Grandpa.” He looked right at me. “No, no! Call me Boris! YOU'RE the grandpa now!”
I felt so humiliated. He was actually…cool…in my body! And I was just the fat old guy that nobody liked!
“Dad, we need to figure out what happened so you can become your old self again. Ok?”
“Hell no! I'm young again for the first time in years. No way I'm giving away this opportunity!”
“I got it!” Em suddenly exclaimed. We all turned around wondering what she meant. She showed us her phone - or rather my mom's phone.
“What?”
“How we all swapped bodies! That ornament that Ferris got! There's an ancient artifact that can take on different appearances. It says it's been known to cause mischief when broken.”
“What kind of ancient thing is meant to be broken? How has it lasted this long then?”
“That's the thing. Everytime it breaks, it finds a new place and takes on a new appearance. But it always takes on the appearance of an object that its next victim will need.”
“Shit. And that's why the present seemed perfect for Grandpa.”
“Hey! I got a much better gift than any of you!” cheered my grandpa as he flexed his arms once agaih.
“But…how do we find it again?”
“Y-you don't. Unless you want to search the whole world for something you don't even know what it looks like.”
There was a deafening silence after she spoke those words. We all realized the truth was that we would never return to our old bodies. I was stuck as an old man forever!
“Hey, it's not so bad,” my grandpa started, seemingly reading my mind. He leaned over and lifted up my shirt, exposing my gut, and slapped it. “The belly is pretty comfy after all. You'll love it.” Maybe he was right. I'm sure I could make the silver bear look work. As I thought about that, I noticed a bulge starting to form. Grandpa turned to look at everyone with a huge smile on his face.
“Merry Christmas everyone!”
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weirdmarioenemies · 9 months
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Name: Buboo
Debut: Kirby: Squeak Squad
Bubbles! Heehee! Hoohoo! What fun! I love bubbles a lot. They are not only fun, but really amazing things! Perfect wobbly orbs of gas, encased in a beautiful shine, sometimes flying around, sometimes just descending, sometimes even landing on the grass or your finger without popping, and it's like a magical moment of connection with an entity so different from you!
Sometimes they pop. This fragile and beautiful marvel of science, suddenly eliminated forever from existence. And that's ok! It's part of the fun! The world will never run out of bubbles, so feel free to obliterate them as you please! You can always make more, whether it's with a bubble wand, your own lips and saliva, or even by a happy little accident, squeezing a bottle of dish soap in just the right way to release a little tiny hovering wonder.
This all being said, I do not love bubbles as much as Buboo does. Buboo may be the number one bubbles fan. With the ability to create spit bubbles, I may be a Bubble Elemental, but even I cannot create enough bubbles to encase myself, and fly! I would if I could! Buboo literally lives at bubbles.
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You will notice, however, that I cannot say Buboo IS bubbles. It is among bubbles, but it is not one of them! Like some kind of impostor. But who could this be? Who is red, and has eyes? A scarlet macaw? An angry sunburned dad? Red Jumbo Josh With Four Arms Plush? There are so many things that are red and have eyes! It's going to take me forever to dig through this pile of things that are red and have eyes. I can't eat them all by myself! I'm worried we'll never find out what Buboo's true form is after all...
Hi. I'm just playing around with you here. I know what it is.
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It's a little crab! Isn't that a wonderful result? Once its bubbles are all popped, Buboo will fall to the ground and run around, continuing to blow bubbles as a final attack until defeated. I think Squeak Squad, which was my first Kirby game, may have been my first exposure to crabs blowing bubbles in media. I don't think I made the connection, and thought it was just an "elemental animal" without much deeper meaning (besides being really cool and cute, of course). But crabs and bubbles are best friends in real life!
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You probably know that some crabs blow bubbles on land! But do you know why? They're not in distress or trying to intimidate another creature or anything. They're just breathing! When a crab breathes out through wet gills, it often comes out as bubbles. It doesn't serve any real purpose, but nothing wrong with bubbles! Also, I like to imagine an exhausted crab sighing, but only bubbles come out, and the sigh is only heard once the bubbles pop. Imagine it. It's whimsical.
Obviously, there is no actual crab that uses bubbles for locomotion... but there is a really awesome snail that does!
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This is the violet sea snail! It creates bubbles using its slime, and makes an entire raft out of them, which it spends its whole life attached to upside-down, drifting at the ocean's surface! If you are stranded on an island in an ocean, as a human, you should absolutely not set off on nothing but a raft. But snails are different, and this snail eats Portuguese Men O' War, so clearly it knows what it's doing.
In conclusion, bubbles are so epic and awesome! They are delights and pockets of whimsy to us humans, and to some creature, they are an entire livelihood! I didn't even mention spittlebugs on this post. If you don't know spittlebugs, you should go learn about them! That is your homework. You get a passing grade if you smile at the thought of a spittlebug. Have fun!
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keepyourpantsongohan · 3 months
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Ayesha Liveblogs Spy x Family S2
Awww, I like that Bond Forger the Dog also gets an intro about HIS secret identity. Equal opportunity deceit
Are we finally going to learn who exacty Yor is fighting? I would like to know!
Been there Anya, I also had little patience for watching the news as as a kid. Though, it seems more important in a pre-internet era
"Okay, you can change the channel." Loid Forger, International Spy, defeated by one (1) sad look from his little daughter
"I absolutely cannot tell him that I got shot in the butt while fighting a group of armed men." 10/10 episode plot, I cannot wait
"I've been relying on her too much without realizing it, and it's upset her. Yes, that must be it! I must do everything in my power to remedy this at once!" Loid immediately blaming Yor's mood on himself and deciding he has to be respond by being a better husband!!! I will keep saying it. He is THE Husband. World's Most Husband
"Why don't we go on a date?" HEE HEE
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Puzzling that Yor thinks she hasn't been on a date though, when I can think of at least three dates so far (party-grenade-proposal date, lunch date, and drinks-and-reassurance date)
"I can't leave Anya alone at home, and this is a very important mission to ensure that we remain one happy family." It seems Loid has learned from the spy transmission debacle
"Last night, I came up with 862 date plans to ensure that Yor has fun." He's insane. I want to give him a leetle kiss
HAHAHAHA Franky being absolutely thrilled to bother Loid and Yor on their date. What a friendship 💕
Intriguing that Anya's telepathy has a distance limit. Tell me more!
Honestly, Yor having to position herself in a specific way to avoid pain is relatable. We love a chronic pain queen
"This woman had built up an immunity to poisons." HAHAHAHAHA the poison fixing Yor's pain. Sometimes, drinking does solve your problems!
LMAOOOO them censoring the bomb components. A real "don't try this at home" moment
NOT THE BABY MAKING THE BOMB. ANYA PLEASE
"I'm going to forget all this and live a normal life." Perfect. Forgers reforming their enemies left and right
"If it's not too much trouble, please invite me out again sometime." Never let being married stand in the way of your husband becoming your boyfriend 🥰
SCREAM at Bond's perception of what Loid does for work. I guess he's closer to the truth than most:
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"Are you trying to do this for your... no. Are you trying to get revenge for your friends who were experimented on?" HAHAHA is Loid blushing because he wants to call himself his dog's dad?
FBKFJHFFHKJHF Loid taking on Bond as his mission back-up. He truly can be swayed so easily
WHERE DID LOID GET A DOG-SIZED SKI MASK AHHAHAHA
I love the giant puppy spy sidekick, employ this dog ASAP
"While they're busy playing, I'm going to work hard to get to the top," said Damian Desmond, Six Years Old, for whom The Top was beating all the other little bougie first graders
"Your friendship... preciously elegant." Me whenever I finish hanging out with my friends
I love that Henderson-sensei sends the kids out on a picnic as a punishment. He really is as silly as he is strict
I don't know if this is a vegetarian thing or a cultural thing but it always seems wild to me how people in anime bite into fish, scales and all
"Did you know that the most recent studies in neuroscience suggest that your brain feels really revitalized when you're spacing out?" I like Mr. Green, Grizzled Navy Custodian, too
HAHA Damian trying his hardest to space out. Me when people tell me to practice mindfulness
"Oh, you don't [have a goal], eh? That's perfectly fine!" "Actually, I want to live my life eating lots of snacks." "Splendid! You'll have to think earnestly about how to make that possible." I take it back, I LOVE MR. GREEN
Ready to sob about this field trip actually. AHHHHHHH:
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"Good evening, Mr. Vile Trash." ACAB; All Cops are (Weird) Brothers
"What's so wrong about trying to improve the country my family lives in?" Nothing but the hostile, paternalistic nationalism of a Cold War, Frank Perkin, Newspaper Sensationalist and Adult Bully of Wealthy Children
"I'll request that your father gets some financial aid to get by." I feel like that will not make up for imprisoning his son, Yuri, but whatever helps you sleep
"Blech." That's also how I feel about Weird Brother Yuri, Anya
"Revenge will only make you sadder. I'll make you forget about all that with my love." This is the plot of Naruto
Honestly, I was super sold on the Bondman Polycule when it was just him, his spy partner Agent M, and the enemy spy lady who had all linked arms together. I feel like this could work:
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"How was anything he did gentlemanly?" Loid said: I'm a one-woman kind of spy
"Lord Damian, how could you possibly pick the joker there." "Shut up!' [Internally] She's so unfair... Damn it! I like to believe Loid might approve of Damian's crush purely because he is also willing to do whatever Anya wants if she makes one (1) sad face
Poor Anya. She's really most suited to using her street smarts
"Garden? The group of assassins who have been in this country for ages? They're basically urban legends, aren't they?" FINALLY we're finding out more about Yor's job!! They do in fact seem at cross purposes with the spies
[Loid already walking away] "He's such a heartless jerk." I bet you $5 he has already decided to help Franky LMAO
Update from 8 min later: Alright, I owe you $5, he didn't care
"Am I normal?! Oh, thank goodness!" said Yor excitedly, as if that were not a moderately suspicious response to being called normal
Excited for an ep with no double-barreled title. Plot progression!
I truly don't know where this falls on the spectrum of ways that anime will depict black and brown characters LMAO. Like Donovan Desmond, the Shopkeeper has an extremely haunting aura:
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"You will be providing protection on this mission." Oooooh, change of pace!
"Is there actually any reason why I should continue my job as a killer?" A question every assassin should ask themselves, I think
"HQ may or may not be trying to cut back on our shady overtime practices." Incredible. I can't believe even the underground spy agency has PTO. I wonder who regulates spy labour law
"If not for this bodyguard job, the three of us could've enjoyed this vacation together." AWWW Yor loves her family so much
"You can say this is a gangster's destiny." [Reba voice] A single mom who works too hard, who loves her kid never stops!
"Papa! We need to hurry up and explore the ship before it sinks!" "It's not going to sink! Stop scaring everyone." The fact the staircase looks distinctly modelled after that one scene from Titanic really sells Anya's point
Loid incapable of framing having fun as anything but a mission ljggkjgj truly he might benefit from a Real Psychologist
"That family's just for camoflauge, right?" "Yes, you're right... Is... that true?" I love Yor slowly admitting that she loves her family for their own sake 💗
As Yor was declaring doing her best, I did worry briefly that someone was going to [redact] Olka. Other anime have been less kind to me than Spy x Family
I love Yor making another mum friend in Olka 💞 Gal pals
Finally saying suspicious things in public has a consequence!!
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"It's been a while since we've had dinner without Mama." "Yeah, it's a bit lonely." Hee hee, Loid misses his wife
I love the immediate transformation in Yor's face as soon as Olka/Shaty says she didn't order room service
I don't have much to say but I am really entranced by the assassin vs. assassin + informant goings on!!
"I may not look it, but I'm a married woman, so I'll have to decline." Absolutely loving Yor quietly and efficiently beating these hitmen unconscious as she passes through the cruise ship
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"Which is it?! Would normal parents buy their child something in this situation or not?!" Loid is incapable of making a decision without thinking about how it looks in relation to him being a spy. Anxiety king
[In Anya's mind] "Yor! You're an assasin who hates frogs? Let's get a divorce. The Forgers are done." Like father, like anxiety-ridden daughter
"I am a normal father. A good father," said Loid, which is frankly not usually something a good or normal father would say
"Papa, you're not excited at all." Loid defeated by one (1) six-year-old's piercingly accurate psychoanalysis
Loid is facing a true Psychological Battle: The Fitting Room
Anya Ultimate Wingman Award for convincing everyone her mum's battle is actually a circus act
Awwww, Zeb, Fake Husband to Olka, likes her. I hope this is a healthy experience in Yor seeing other fake couples work it out, but I do also think Zeb could mega-die
"As long we people continue to be people, conflict will never end." Alright, Director Doomsday, calm down
"What am I? What am I doing this for?" [B Eilish voice] What was I made foooooor?
"Does she hate me? Or is she just going through a rebellious phase?" Loid whenever one of the Forger girls looks upset: THIS MUST BE MY FAULT SOMEHOW
A hasty and confident NO to Assassin Sniff's whole vibes
We interrupt this program to think about how cute Loid and Anya are!! I love Loid entertaining Anya and also supporting her while he thinks she's missing Yor
"Nice, Mr. Husband!" Oh good, we love a bulletproof vest for Zeb!
Truly a wild juxtaposition of Forger Family Fireworks Night:
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"This might be a bit late to ask, but would you consider just peacefully going home?" I love you, Compassionate Combat
I'm having a hard time believing all this will happen without Loid eventually noticing; the fireworks are long gone. I actually do hope Loid crashes her battle, Director Doomsday is out cold
"I'm doing this to support my family.... wait. I guess I am also doing this for money. But... no, I make enough to survive now. I'm hunting down bad guys for my country! For my country? Have I always been so righteous? What am I doing this for?" Poor Yor, this is like the worst possible time for an existential crisis
YOR AND LOID BOTH BEING MOTIVATED BY THEIR DESIRE FOR OTHERS TO LIVE A PEACEFUL LIFE 😭💘😭💘😭💘😭💘
[In Yor's flashback] "Be it for someone else, or for a specific reason, having to endure a merciless job... That's something to be very proud of." I'm sure Loid will acknowledge me. He'll forgive me. I like to think so too, Yor!!
Never mind to Loid helping Yor out, he is busy disarming a bomb threatening to sink them. This truly is the Titanic LMAO
LGLHGLGJHGLJHG Anya accidentally tripping the assassins so they shoot each other. Like mother, like daughter 💖
"You'll be able to enjoy the symphony of agonized screams and roars coming through the wiretaps on this ship." I can't wait for Loid to sink this guy with his own clock-bomb
Update from 30 seconds later: See? Self-owned and sunk
Awwwww Yor really does deserve the baby hug after the day she's had:
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"I pray that, someday, you and your family will be able to find true peace." OLKAAAA
"I know it was an emergency, but I ended up casting my family aside again." Loid and Yor having the same crisis about whether to prioritize their family or their jobs 🥺🥺🥺
Loid's blush at Yor catching him skipping as he continues to skip over in her direction. Hee hee
"I hope peaceful days like this will continue forever." ME TOO, YOR!
Get you a mum who would secretly beat up sharks for you ❤️‍🩹
Setting aside how fun snorkeling is, absolutely terrible idea to go into the ocean with an open wound OMG
Loid carrying his whole family is the cutest thing I've ever seen, 10 bajilion/10zo; perfect:
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[Internally] "You did a great job." Loid is in loooooove
"I can never tell if he's actually clever, or clumsy." Me either, Handler
Anya learning about the vacation disparity of rich kids LMAO
"If youre going to create a persona for yourself, you need to be strategic and commit." Not Loid turning this lie lecture into a spy lecture in his mind
"Lying is too much work, so I'll try not to do it anymore." Anya's entire set of adult role models do nothing but lie all the time, she really has no frame of reference for honesty
I do a little bit hate the Becky fantasizing about Loid thing, I have been Cardcaptor Sakura'd too much in life
NOT ANYA SELLING OUT HER MUM FOR THE POSSIBILITY OF BECKY BEING HER RICH SIX-YEAR-OLD STEPMUM OH MY GOD
I feel like they take a lot of liberties in translating "Loid-sama" as "my precious Loid" but hey, he is precious
"Yor's going to get the wrong idea, somehow." Loid has finally registered that this child is obsessed with him and he is only concerned for wife not thinking he's a freak. A good husband above all else
"I really don't understand the children of rich people." Me either, Loid
I need you to see Loid's face as Becky declares that this is his expression of love for Yor:
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"Your heart is as vast as the sky, and you're stronger than the earth itself. You're the perfect lady." Correct, Becky! Yor is amazing
"I had some extra souvenirs left after handing them out to everyone else. Do you want them?" LMAO @ the implication being lost on Fiona that he doesn't even think of her enough to warrant her own souvenir
I will say, I really do resonate with the theme of the ep being Loid is Hot and Amazing to Everyone But No One Will Ever Measure Up to Yor in His Eyes
"Maybe you're too nice, and biting and barking don't really suit you." Everyone in the Forger family is too nice for their job, including Bond Forger, Precognitive Puppy
Awwww Bond trying to help out all the humans with his visions
LNKFHKFHKJFH Loid really just got reprimanded by his dog
"And he went into save [Daisy the puppy]? What an impressive dog!" I love the Spy Dad-Psychic Puppy tag-team ❤️
[Internally] "I am a cool-headed spy. I cannot let my emotions show." Loid remains deadpan through SO many things but his dog looking a little funny while wet is his limit. What a man!
"Don't push yourself too hard. There's someone waiting back home who would be sad if you died." 1) V sweet, dad first, hero second. And 2) This is the second time Loid has directly spoken to his life situation with a simultaneous thinly-veined dog metaphor
WAHHHHHHH Loid and Bond's heroics being acknowledged by Anya giving them little paper Stellas:
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Yor immediately joining in and congratulating them for their hard work on their walk!!! I LOVE ONE (1) SPY X FAMILY 😭😭😭😭😭 IT'S A NICE SHOW
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EAH was one of my very favorite cartoons as a kid, and I've been enjoying it's renaissance very much, so REDESIGNS!!! (I've done a bunch over a couple months and put them on Instagram, but I figured I'd move them here cause Instagram sucks, so if you've seen them before over there that's why)
I think the original designs are aesthetically pleasing, but they're not super practical for the characters- case in point! Gay icon Darling Charming
I'm gonna put all my design notes under the cut so if you don't care about that carry on, have a nice day
Darlings original design is fun, but it doesn't serve an obvious purpose, at least not that I can see. She clearly wears armor on the outside of her outfit, the Marie Antoinette poof is a bit strange to me, and she has very little visually tying her to Dexter and Daring. I wanted to emphasize her secrecy, but also her passion for puzzle solving, riddles, combat tactics, ect. when she's around the people she trusts (as if the queer metaphor wasn't obvious enough)
Here are some details that just make me happy
-First, the hair. I knew I wanted to give the White Knight a more unique look, and I wanted to simplify it overall. I LOVE the original armor, but it would be a huge pain to animate, and I don't have the patience for that, so I went for a masquerade-ball-three-musketeers-vibe. The braided bun is still a fancy, regal style, but it's a lot easier for her to manage in her uniform
-I tried to synthesize the color schemes of the Charming siblings. They all have a pit of yellow, a bit of pinkish red, a bit of blue. The twins lean heavy into yellow and blue, with splashes of red where thematically appropriate. Darling doesn't really communicate with Daring much, so she has the least amount of red. I think having more muted colors in comparison to her brothers also emphasizes the fact that she's hiding herself. She is very much defying her family with her ambitions, and she has to work hard to keep it under wraps. Sort of related, I gave her a tooth gap, because it's a cute design detail, but also to act as a "flaw" to contrast with Daring. Daring's primary physical trait is his ungodly perfect teeth, so I thought it'd be fun to give her an "imperfect" trait, like Dexter and his glasses. There's nothing actually wrong with them, but it's a failure to reach the insane expectations that the Charming family has cultivated over the generations. Basically the Charmings are petty and I feel bad for the youngest generation.
-Speaking of concealment! There are a couple bits that I thought would be fun to hide throughout her outfit. First, the skirt is flowy enough and the shirt is positioned just right so that you can't tell, but she has pieces of leather armor on at all times. She saves the plates for wonderland. She also wears gloves to hide the callouses on her fingers from swordfighting! She also probably keeps knives in her hair somewhere. Pulling a small switchblade out of the base of her bun just seems like something she would do
-Final thing, I gave her a scar! From what I can tell, she's always been very rough-and-tumble, so I gave her a scar over her brow. She likes to pretend it's from a Mysterious Incident to mess with her friends, but really she was wrestling Daring when they were like, 4 and 6, and she bonked her face into a table. She got over it real fast, but Daring got a long lecture about it, and that's when he started getting over-protective about her
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lemonflavoreddishsoap · 11 months
Note
Hello there!! Idk if I have already sent something in, but if I haven’t, I would love to request! May I please have the LS members’ (separate) reactions to a new member with “soulless” or “dead” eyes (basically like the anime eyes that have no shine in them), who always seems rather closed off, but at some point the members do something nice to them, and the reader blushes and their eyes just light up like the brightest stars? Sorry if this request is a lot! If it is you can ignore! But thank you so much! (I loved the housewife s/o HCs you wrote btw, they were lovely!) ❤️❤️
Ghiaccio pfp twinsies...woag- also i like this idea a lot!! this reader sounds absolutely wonderful <33 fair warning I wrote most of these while incredibly sleepy so if they're ooc that's probably why im so sorry-
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La Squadra with a reader who has soulless eyes (that light up when they're happy/flustered)
Formaggio
When he first saw you, he wasn't sure exactly how alive you were.
I mean, those empty eyes and the way you barely talked to anyone definitely had him raising an eyebrow at first.
But he quickly got used to it. Nothing was wrong with responding to a joke with a tiny smile instead of a hearty laugh.
In fact, with enough time, he grows rather comfortable around that blank stare of yours. He gives you your space, but whenever you do talk to him, he's more than happy to get the chance to hear your voice and chat.
One day, before you went out for a mission, Formaggio noticed you nearly forgot to bring something vital. He managed to catch up to you and give you the item before you left, but before he could say anything, he noticed your expression.
The color spread across your cheeks, and your eyes -Oh god, your EYES. It was like someone finally flipped on a light switch in them. They were full of life for once, and the sight had him speechless.
But- shit, right, you had to leave. With an absent-minded nod and pat on the shoulder, he began to walk away.
"No need to thank me," he shouted to you before he was out of sight - and it was true. The look on your face had been thanks enough.
Illuso
Definitely made fun of your empty eyes often. Like Formaggio he probably compares you to a zombie, but he is willing to say it out loud.
He tries to guess what your thinking and feeling all the time if you tend to not show emotion. Like he'd say things like "I bet you're pissed about that too, you just don't wanna show it."
But like. In an annoying way if that makes sense.
I'll be honest I can't think of what kind of nice thing he would do for you. This dude's section has haunted me for days, y'all.
But in the event of him doing nice for you, he notices your expression right away. boy is he surprised by it. and boy is he LOUD about it.
"Holy SHIT! You're actually alive! I managed to break that moody façade of yours?"
You might wanna walk away or hide your face before he calls the rest of the gang over to look.
Afterwards he's weirdly a bit nicer to you? He obviously wants to see your adorable expression again, but his exact intentions are unknown...
Prosciutto
Doesn't care in much of a usual way. If anything I think he would comment on how your hard to read expressions and closed off nature makes you good for the job.
So he never really bothers to think you may be any other way.
The two of you were set to go on a mission together, and he insisted you work on a concrete plan beforehand. It turns out his idea for the plan relies VERY heavily on your abilities/stand.
When you ask about it, he begins to talk about how strong your abilities are, and how perfect you would be for the job, how he has faith that you can pull it all off.
Your heart flutters at his words and with every compliment you feel heat rush to your face.
When he stops talking and notices how your eyes lit up, he's....genuinely unsure what to think.
It was all true, you were strong and the right person for the job, but we all know how he gets when he's working with someone he feels is a bit too vulnerable cough cough pesci
He doesn't worry about it for the time being - it's a one time thing after all - but he keeps an eye out for if it happens again.
Pesci
I think he is used to people thinking he looks strange/creepy, so even it might creep him out a bit, he tries to be nice about your soulless face.
Gives you your space, but this boy is sweet, it won't take long for him to do something that makes the darkness in your eyes fade away.
idk why my first thought for the moment is him baking something new and asking you to try it. You have a taste and quickly nod in approval, it's delicious.
Relieved, Pesci proceeds to let you know he made it because he remembered you mentioning [insert flavor here] was your favorite flavor. Yep, that'll do it.
He's incredibly caught off guard, seeing your eyes twinkle with appreciation - for a second he thinks you're about to cry! He stands there, unsure what to do, until either the interaction ends or you say something to him.
Is so overwhelmed afterwards no matter what happens - was that really the real you? That sweet face was really yours?
Melone
It literally doesn't matter to him - he can see right through your dead look. It's uncanny.
You could be completely stone-faced and he would find some way to be able to tell exactly how you feel about something. He'll tell you his predictions too to see if their right.
I imagine it's one of these moments that actually leads to him seeing that cute expression of yours.
It started with "you found that hilarious, didn't you?"
He was playing his guessing game again, and like every time before, he was right. You didn't even have to answer.
"You know, you're so interesting to read. You have all these little tells for every small thought, and I think you subconsciously change them a bit every time I take notice of them!" He suddenly began explaining to you.
But it didn't stop there, he began to tell you all about how he picked apart your body language, how he noticed changes in your emotions over the entire time he's known you. "You're.... fascinating to watch."
It's not until he finishes talking that you both realize you've been staring at him with a completely uncharacteristically bright look of wonder. Then it's his turn for his face to light up, pointing at the blush on your cheeks.
"So you do like how I watch you! I knew it."
Ghiaccio
"The hell are you giving me that look for!?"
Of COURSE he takes it personally a lot - especially if you're supposed to be listening to his rambling. He isn't exactly thinking straight, so he just thinks your blank stare is some kind of insult.
But beyond that, it's rare he'll get on your ass about it.
Over time, I think he might even find you a reliable person to spew all his ranting at, if you don't complain at him or cause a fuss.
Maybe even at some point, perhaps if you've been getting picked on especially hard by Illuso, he'll ask if you have any ranting to do.
"What!? That prick has got to be getting on your nerves, doesn't that make you- WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU GIVING ME THAT FACE FOR!?"
You're gonna have to end up explaining yourself or else he won't stop asking you. When you do, he'll scoff, saying he barely did anything. At least you won't have him blabbing about it to the others, you both know it would get real annoying real quick.
If you specifically ask him to keep it secret, he'll nod, and you swear you see him smile at you.
Risotto
This man also looks pretty damn unapproachable (love him tho <3). He has the least amount of problems with how you are.
Like Prosciutto, he thinks your closed off nature is good for the job. But he never brings up that sometimes he wishes you were a little more open.
One day you return from a mission. It went smoothly. Enough. Okay, you had managed to get the deed done, but you had gotten injured in the process. In order to not endure lecturing from any of your teammates, you quickly dismissed everyone's questions about the mission and looked for things to treat your wound with, hiding it from everyone else.
In the middle of hastily wrapping up the bloody injury, you felt a hand on your shoulder, and soon after you head Risotto's voice. He warned you that you weren't treating the wound carefully enough.
He didn't scold you- a scolding wasn't going to help the sting and the crimson staining your skin. No, he asked if he could take care of the wound for you.
You felt your face heat up as he helped you, but although you were sure he noticed the look on your face, he made no mention of it. Just tended to your wound, and told you to tell him about any issues with a mission next time.
Afterwards you two agreed you would give him specifics later. You thanked him and that was that.
Walking away from you, Risotto replayed your expression in his mind....how cute.
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soaricarus · 25 days
Note
favorite oc of yours? :3
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i was gonna say all of them/i can't choose but No ..... this is my blorbo ever. this is eclipse. though i forgot to draw their wings for this one... they're one of my dearest ocs and i swear they're a rain world oc i've just never gotten around to draw them like ... pre-selfmods... i do have pre-the horrors however
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this is my beloved i love them dearly ^ they were originally a ferven, a species created by the ancients to act as companion animals [think rain world's edition of cats, lol]. i might get in to making a ref of their species later because they are by no means a regular ferven. they were created by three clouds, lost skies - a prolific and artistic bioengineer.
while they can't exactly speak, they are sapient [unlike. other fervens. but fervens are in general very intelligent] and know how to express themself and communicate with clouds.
umm shit happens wrong place wrong time. they watch clouds get Murdered. absolutely fucking murdered. and its by Mr High Ranking Bioengineer Guy That Has No Morals Whose Name I Shall Not Speak [you can find him on my toyhouse or whatever lmao]. so That Guy sees the perfect opportunity to see if it's possible, just for science really, to turn a creature into an ancient.
he knows how very illegal and immoral this is. he does it anyway. The Horrors[tm] ensue for eclipse and they are NOT taking it well and i actually have this written but i'm not sure if i should share it ... just imagine being so very confused and panicked and nothing you do is familiar so you try to scream but that isn't your voice and this isn't your body what happened- and then it cuts black.
anyway. skipping forward a bit. they get used to it ... sorta. but there's still a lot of body dysmorhpia. That Guy doesn't know eclipse remembers their origins [he's just chalking their weird behaviour up to, well. what they used to be], but he does keep them very... isolated, to say. they don't know a lot of people. near the mass ascension though, he tries to force them in a vat of void fluid and wouldn't you like to know who gets his ass absolutely fucking echoed.
eclipse feles very guilty about this and feels like they weren't justified At All just because of how much vigil manipulated them and their mindset throughout the entire time, so they take off to the surface and just run. they don't know where they're going but they're running. they can't fly, they just lost one of their wings to the void fluid burns coming from the void fluid splashing out and hitting them. the adrenaline rush is whats keeping them from feeling that pain.
so! that just happened! they basically just murdered a man! okay! i don't know about you but when they realized the fuck they just did while the pain also hits them. yeahhhhh that's not ending up very well.
either way, time passes, they make friends with an iterator and said iterator helps them with genemods. eclipse, alike their creator, is also a very prolific bioengineer and knows what they're doing. a lot of the genemods are ones they made themself, while some are made with the help of the iterator - seven songs ablaze.
eventually though, a bunch of time after the mass ascension they find the global line's back up. and boy are they in for a ride
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A question for Twilight aus. Ok...what if Belle really take issue with Jasper's past? So much she wants nothing to do with the Cullens.
Like as much they are perfection in her eyes...lets assume this "flaw" would bersmish the Cullens for her(assuming it would)
Would things go well for everyone?
Ha.
Ha ha.
Ha ha ha.
No.
First, Bella Didn't
Bella is, to put it delicately, very non-judgemental to an almost concerning degree.
Jessica tells her outright the Cullens are incestuous: Bella thinks that's nice of them and wonders why Jessica judges them so much. Rude, Jessica.
Edward tells Bella all about the time he planned her murder (and the Biology class) in cold blood, how he despised her afterwards for ruining his life by existing, and how his family gathered around a table and discussed whether or not they should kill her: wow, Edward-senpai, you're so amazing.
Edward tells Bella that he uh actually left the diet once for several years and ate many many people. "That's okay because they were all bad people."
Bella then asks an appalled Edward (and later Carlisle) why the Cullens even bother with the diet. Sounds like hard work.
"I'd like not to eat people, Bella," - Edward
Bella hears about how the Cullens have historically had accidents and Bella herself nearly was one. Doesn't phase her at all.
Bella thinks Jacob/the wolves are eating people in New Moon? Bella gives Jake a stern talking to about how the Cullens live on animals so the wolves surely can to. (Jake, for the record, is appalled at the mere suggestion that the wolves are doing this like a sane person.)
Jasper's history is one in a long line of concerning things that have been said to Bella that she doesn't give a flying fuck about.
Even if she was mildly concerned, she wouldn't jeopardize her future with the Cullens and Edward based off a dislike of Jasper. If she's turned, then she can deal with the Jasper issue. If not then her life is meaningless and pointless.
But if Bella Did Do This
Even if Bella really takes issue with Jasper's history, there's an easy solution: she has Edward kick Jasper out or she and Edward leave the family.
Bella doesn't have to give up being a vampire or the rest of the Cullens just because Jasper sucks. Edward has said as much several times: Jasper isn't even a really integral member of the family. He's Alice's plus one.
Bella goes on a quest to get Alice to dump Jasper (which she may or may not do depending how the visions play out). Edward is distressed but figures he and Bella can honeymoon somewhere for a bit until he can talk her down.
"Hooray for me!" - Bella Swan
She's Not Allowed to Like the Cullens Anymore
Same thing happens except she tells Edward they're leaving the Cullens after he turns her. They're going off on their own, his family sucks because they hang out with people like Jasper.
Edward would become increasingly distressed as it becomes increasingly clear Bella's serious (and Bella for that matter is picking fights with the family who are not warming up to her).
However, if Edward separates Bella from them... Then Carlisle can't turn her, can he?
Edward and Bella have their honeymoon in Rio (Edward talked Bella into inviting the Cullens to his wedding) where a month later Bella dies when a child bursts from her womb.
Alternately, Edward eats out the child himself in an abortion attempt that goes horribly wrong and Bella dies.
Edward murders it then head to Jacob asking him to kill him.
Bella Doesn't Like Edward Anymore Either
I mean, this really would never happen (and I love that your reasoning is that "Bella doesn't like Jasper so uh I guess she doesn't like anyone now". I just love that you supplied a reason and that reason is this.
The thing is, Bella still wants to be a vampire.
A lot.
So much.
Sure, it doesn't mean much if she's not with Edward but... she really really really wants to be a vampire.
"What was that about your cousins?" Bella ends up subtly (not at all) asking Edward, thinking that if she doesn't join the Cullens she can join the Denali.
They're on the diet too, they sound like wonderful people, they love and respect people so much they even make love to them, and none of them are Jasper or are living with Jasper.
It's the perfect fit!
Bella starts grilling Edward on the Denali while also avoiding him as much as possible (Edward has no idea what's going on and is terrified).
Bella, for her own part, is getting very cold feet about this wedding (as she only learned Jasper's full history in Eclipse) but... The Denali will show up, and it may be her only opportunity.
Long story short, Bella recreates the Graduate with Eleazar and Edward. Eleazar whisks off Edward's would be bride, in front of the whole town, to Alaska.
(Bella's mortified, but she gets to be a vampire and not married to Edward who lives with Jasper.)
"Did she just run off with your uncle?" - Mike Newton.
(Jacob, for his own part, can't even believe it as he somehow didn't lose to Edward but still lost.)
Bella very quickly uses the Denali as replacement Cullens and eagerly does her best to fit in with her new found family. Terrible things ensue.
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densewentz · 9 months
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I am. Quaking over Crowley and Hanna cause AUGH they're so adorable. Getting up into antics! What do you think some of their adventures would be? Chaos at the nursery garden stores? Lurking in woods to find creatures? Sorry I just really wanna know.
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"Can we get a 'wahoo'?"
First off thank you for the perfect reason to post this sketch!
I cannot even begin to imagine the terrors they rain on the general public tbh. Between Crowley still feeling jilted and Hanna feeling free for the first time, the limit is really their imaginations (of which they both posses quite a fair bit).
In fairness since this little au I'm simmering takes place pretty soon after the end of s2, they probably don't do a lot of REALLY outlandish stuff for a while. They'll stay local, probably spend time with Nina and Maggie and probably end up meeting the Them at some point. Crowley would also probably want to try and keep inconspicuous (hah) with heaven and hell looming over their heads and now with a squishy thing to protect. I LOVE the garden center chaos idea btw, shoutout anon, and Crowley's little pseudo Eden is definitely going to rapidly expand into a vibrant and terrified indoor oasis (skylights included). Shops in general are going to have to watch their backs (Crowley has a reason to go into many of them quite frequently now, and without his celestial counterpart to keep him from goofing off too much). Hanna is a big fan of the classic "run down the aisles of a toy store and rapidly push every single button you find" method of spreading foment.
Since Hanna hasn't had an opportunity to see/experience most of the world, I imagine they spend a LOT of time popping through museums/zoos/aquariums/etc. Crowley pointing out things he caused, things an... old friend caused, things that actually happened way differently but got recorded wrong. Hanna dragging her dad around and both of them getting WAY too into reading the information plaques for all the animals. Then seeing which animals freak tf out if her dad flashes his eyes. (The giftshops get terrorized if there arent enough fungus-themed objects, although there is always miraculously at least one). They probably break into a lot/if not most of the exhibits after hours to take selfies for Crowley's rapidly growing photo album. Hanna sits at the shark touch tank and loudly proclaims how smooth they are. And since im a sucker for I-Want-To-Share-The-Stars Crowley, they probably pop over to an observatory or break into idk, where they keep the telescope on the Canary Islands or something. And he'll tell her what he remembers about the Creation and what it feels like to hold a new star in your hand. Hanna will curl up against Crowley's chest and get lost in his voice and the distant glitter of a world her dad designed. They probably also commit crimes. Not major crimes, mind you, although that's due more to Crowley's occasional sense of "as a parent i probably shouldn't let you" than any unwillingness on Hanna's part. But she'll definitely help him move signs or infiltrate office buildings and other assorted sabotages. She 100% gets her own little version of the Fuck Shit Up Jacket, and whether he likes it or not the Bentley has decided Hanna gets to pick the getaway music.
It doesn't really count as demonic but Crowley DOES keep a bag of spare change and googly eyes for Hanna to glue to things at will while they're out.
But tbh i imagine the most trouble she gets into is if she's left alone with Muriel. Evidently Hanna has her father's talent for tempting angels into misbehaving or at least into not noticing that they are, in fact, misbehaving in the human sense. Crowley usually feels almost bad for the baby angel but, needs must. and sometimes he needs a babysitter. The rule is SUPPOSED to be that if Hanna is with Muriel, they DO. NOT. LEAVE. the bookshop (they always leave the bookshop).
At one point she meets a boy named Kian at a pub called the New Inn. Crowley very desperately wants her to not want to spend time with Kian for reasons he refuses to explain 💕
At any rate if anyone ever wants to write or draw anything with Hanna they're more than welcome to and also I'll probably cry a lot so Cheers! Thank you for the ask (apologies for my signature long-winded answer)!
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pacifymebby · 2 years
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i fucking love all ur peaky blinders writings you do them so well!! i was wondering if u could write one of about the peaky blinders n a reader that’s involved in a mafia, yk she has power, she’s strong, not intimidating by men, doesn’t hesitate to point a gun at someone’s head
Aw lovely thank u i am v happy u enjoy my work its so lovely to here!! Im so new to writing peaky boys stuff so its cool to see people enjoying it <3 <3
Hope you like these x some of them are long, i guess i got carried away haha
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Tommy
🌿He can tell there's something different about you, something dangerous, a different kind of higher class, the second he sees you..
🌿And when he learns who you are - a mafia princess - his mind is set.
🌿He has to have you... Not just once, but for keeps.
🌿It wouldn't just be startegically a perfect move, ot would also bolster his ego. This is a man who wants the whole world and to wed mafia royalty... That would be a pretty big chunk of the world.
🌿But it would be scandalous in many ways... Hes a politician, a sitting MP... And its no secret the corruption, violence and murderous tendencies of your infamous family. There would be no feigning innocence anymore.
🌿If he's going to be with you he'll have to do it with his whole chest, openly admit to his own corruption and wrong doing, he'd have to be the bad guy in the open...
🌿 And he'd have to play his cards right, he couldn't be playing games with you... He's fairly certain playing games will end with one of your bullets in his brain.
🌿 You're already used to the finer things in life so his wining and dining and usual tactics won't work on you. "Is all this supposed to impress me Mr Shelby?"
🌿Your family probably have tigers roaming the villa grounds you grew up in. You probably grew up alongside wild animals...
🌿 And youre supposed to be impressed by a country estate and race horses...
🌿 Actually the things that really attract you to tommy are these:
🌿🌿He's troubled, he fought in a war, one which your family watched and ignored... You secretly don't believe that the men in your family, know what its really like to be a man, fighting to protect the family... Though they tell you that's what they're doing all the time.
🌿🌿His roots, theres somrthing mysterious about it, the fact that he talks to his horses, the fact you've heard theres a gypsy curse on his head. It's more interesting to you than anything you've heard back in New York
🌿🌿 The fact that there was a time in his life when he had nothing, he actually clawed his way out of poverty...you were born into your riches, you've never really had to work for anything in your life, so youre in awe of the things hes won for himself.
🌿🌿 You also love the way he takes whatever he wants from the world, just snatches it up regardless of whether he deserves it or not. Youre hoping thats what he'll do to you. Steal you away from your family. Claim you as his own.
🌿But you wont admit any of these things to him, you play the princess personality up for all its worth because you like the idea of being the one thing tommy shelby can't have
🌿Tommys brothers think hes daft for even trying... They've seen you, heard rumours about you, they think hes way out of his depth... But tommy is determined
🌿 And one day when you finally give into the charm youd been resisting, you become the most feared couple... The mafia are secretly scared of your gypsy husband, they dont trust that he wont put a curse on them... And tommys family are terrified of you, the unpredictable, spoilt princess who will not hesitate to shoot someone dead just for looking at her funny.
🌿He can't tame you though and it concerns him, you probably make more trouble than its worth... You don't have the manners of the english and you refuse to learn them. Not even Tommy can teach you.
🌿 Calls you princess to patronise you, enjoys talking down to you and trying to put you in your place even if it hardly ever works. Showers you with gifts, and when he realises how drawn to his gypsy roots you are, he starts showering you with gypsy gifts, little trinkets hes carved for you himself, jewels with fine tales behind them, mysterious histories which capture your imagination.
🌿He likes to take you out on horseback to the middle of nowhere, lie down with you under the shade of a tree or on the bank if a river and tell you as many stories as he can, either from his childhood or gypsy tales you tell little children. Its his only way of getting you to calm down or behave yourself, of getting you to stop putting on that "fearless and fearsome mafia wife" personality.
Alfie
🐻Can't imagine you'd get on very well at first... If he realised his attraction to you he'd be angry with himself for thinking that way about a "wop"
🐻 He'd definitely try to ignore it... Which would be difficult because every time you were in a room with him you'd be little miss provocative, trying to get under his skin.
🐻 Youre not sure if thats because youre so used to all men falling at your feet that youre actively pissed off that this man wont... Or if its because you can see that he is attracted to you, but isnt acting on it (which would piss you off even more than the former) OR (and this is unlikely right, you would never!) perhaps you find him attractive. This slightly mad, older man who behaves as close to any mafia man youve ever met only rougher, not so well groomed. Hes a little gruff, theres something a little dirty about him...
🐻 Also youre a mafia woman... Youve been spoilt rotten your whole life by your father and brothers but youve never really felt the love of any of them... Youve only ever been treated like a possession by them... Which is a sure fire recipe for DaddyIssues™️
🐻 This gruff and slightly insane older man then, might be the only person who could ever be everything you ever needed...
🐻 But that discovery probably pisses you off even more, so its likely that in the moment went you realise what you really want from him, you raise your gun to his head, make him look down the end of it.
🐻 He's probably the only one of the peaky men who isn't actually scared of you, not because he doesnt think youre unpredictable and dangerous, but because hes not scared of death, hes looked it in the eyes one too many times to be scared of a "little girl" with a gun.
🐻 "Alright alright so youve got yourself a gun and youre not afraid to use it... You've come in here... To my humble bakery what i built up from absolutely fuck all... And you're waving that thing in my face like its fuckin christmas day and you just plucked it out of Santas fuckin sack..." "Did you get it for Christmas y/n? Did santa make it for you in the North fucken Pole?"
🐻 "You can pretend to be a mad old man all you like Mr Solomons but I'm not scared of old men..."
🐻 "Ohh well, thats alright then, thats good very good actually, cause see somet you might not know about me right? Im not afraid of little girls... Yeah?"
🐻 The remark would shock you a little, not much but enough to make you hesitate, and in that second of hesitation he could disarm you. Not that you'll ever make the same mistake again.
🐻 But this time he disarms you and pushes you back down onto his desk, takes your chin between his thumb and index finger so that you have to look him in the eyes. He can see how angry you are but he isnt deterred because he has control now and he knows he won't get that opportunity again for awhile...
🐻 "Looks like your daddy didn't teach you how to properly handle your weapons... Wouldnt make that mistake me... No, i, would, not." "And anyway, right... Somethin else i wanna know yeah... What kind of father yeah, what kind of fuckin father sends his little girl to the arse end of Camden Town to deal with his fuckin problems?" "You want my advice little girl, if i were you I'd stay right here, with this here mad old man... Cause i reckon he would know how to take care of you properly..."
🐻 So you have a choice, give into the feelings and desires which have been plaguing you since you first met him, or spit in his face and tell him you'd rather die... And this is a man who just might offer you deal or death, thats how much he's his heart and mind set on you.
🐻 "Oh and Tommy, Tommy my old mate, did i tell you, just a little warning yeah, and i know you wouldnt ever think about crossing your dear old friend right but... If that thought ever does come flittering and fluttering into your whimsical gypsy boy brain... Just remember, ive got Mafia connections these days right... So i wouldnt if i were you... "
Arthur
🍂 Shits himself when he sees you pull a gun on a man in one of the Shelby bars in London.
🍂 Arthurs been sent to keep control of them and here you are, a fucking woman... With your gun raised to the eyes of one of his patrons.
🍂 When he steps in "alright alright is someone gonna tell me what the fuck is going on here?" and you answer him cold and simple "This english pig called me a very unpleasant slur and that... Mr Shelby, i won't tolerate..."
🍂 You shoot the man in the head right there in front of everyone. Screaming errupts and chaos and panic set in but you just stand there, strong arm still outstretched. Finger still on the trigger.
🍂 Arthur just gapes at you in shock, hes never seen a woman shoot someone, the fact that youre so glamourous looking too... From afar hed have mistaken you for one of the toffee nosed london elites who usually come to dance and drink in his bars because theyve heard they are dangerous and riddled with gangsters.
🍂 But now it seems, he recognises that accent of yours, turns out youre the gangster.
🍂 "Sorry about the mess Mr Shelby," you give him a quick smile and knock the body on the floor with your foot and turn to leave.
🍂 "Well, hang on a minute love hang on a minute you can't just..." "let me stop you there Mr Shelby..." hes not heard that slanted italian american accent on a woman before but he likes it, "i ain't your love... And i can actually... The evidence is soaking blood into your beautifully varnished floor..."
🍂 He gets into a lot of trouble with Tommy for letting you slip off unpunished, for letting the whole thing happen in the first place...but arthur doesnt see how he could have done anything different.
🍂"You weren't fuckin there Tommy, you didnt fuckin see her..."
🍂 He spends a lot of time tormented with daydreams of you, wants to see you again because hes got it bad for you... Even has a particularly steamy dream about fucking you whilst you hold your gun to his head.
🍂 So when you come back to his bar not a week later with a little white flag you made yourself, hes stunned and speechless and he doesnt know what to say. You say youve come to offer him a peace offering, just between you and him.
Its a little white flag and a little vile of white powder which is his on the condition that he shares it with you.
🍂 So you end up getting high together and fucking, and recreating that hot and heavy dream of his.
John
🌼 Deeply suspicious of you, doesn't trust the italians. You aren't pleasant to eachother to begin with at all.
🌼 You refuse to call eachother by name, hes a "pikey" you're a "wop" and thats that. You resent eachother.
🌼 Which is a shame because Tommy only introduced you before the wedding as an act of mercy to his little brother...
🌼 When you walk down the aisle dressed in white, veil covering your scowl John feels his heart freeze.
🌼 Of course he can't be too unhappy, you are fucking stunning... Your olive skin, your long dark hair, theres something almost virgin Mary about you, especially when youre all in white and pure...
🌼 And you would be lying if you tried to pretend you didnt find the gypsy boy to be good looking. His freckles are cute. He's strong, bulkier than any of those italian boys that have been sucking up to your father hoping for your hand all these years. John looks like a man who might be able to handle you
🌼 But hes still a pikey and youre still a wop and you refuse to say a word to him the whole day of your wedding. You fucking hate your father and you fucking hate tommy shelby
🌼 And in the end thats what draws you and John together. Mutual resentment for the men who forced you together.
🌼 Consumating the marriage is intense... When youre alone together youre both pretty much pretending you don't want it, spitting insults at eachother, hate in your eyes as he backs you up against the wall and you tell him youd sooner die than let a fucking pikey get his hands on you.
🌼 Pisses him off "That can be arranged love don't you fuckin worry," the two of you reaching for your guns at the same time. Challenging eachother, neither one of you backing down, eyes locked, fingers on triggers.
🌼Until something overwhelms you both at once and you can't resist anymore. When you come together its violent and explosive. John enjoys the thought hes tarnishing you, taking your purity, vandalising your virginal self... And you enjoy being fucked against the wall, your hands squeezing his throat, choking him.
🌼 After this the dust begins to settle on your hatred for one another... Youre more united against Tommy and your father than you are against eachother. But you like to keep up the pretence. Its like a fun game you have, pretending to hate eachother then having intense the most intense sex when youre alone. Youre always trying to push the boundaries, testing eachother.
🌼 You still affectionately refer to eachother by your respective slurs but see if anyone else ever tried it... If anyone ever called you a wop, john would put a bullet in them quicker than lightnight, and if anyone ever insulted him for his blood, youd be the one firing your gun.
🌼 John enjoys the way people fear you, he likes having a dangerous wife by his side.
🌼 You like having a dangerous man by your side, one who isn't so sleezy and american and preocupied with their looks... You think hes a real man.
Bonnie
🍀 Poor sweet innocent boy has no idea who you are when he first meets you... And thats partly your fault because you do lie to him.
🍀Youre actually sick of people being so scared of you, you dont think they are really scared of you, you think they are scared of your father... Which isnt fair... Its making it impossible to find a man and pretty soon youre certain your fathers going to arrange your marriage to some sleeze in another mafia family for the good of the lineage anyway
🍀 When you meet Bonnie Gold after one of his fights which Ada Shelby snuck you into, he has no idea about your family, but you know everything about his... And you see one thing in him...
🍀 Escape. You don't want to be a mafia princess anymore. Like Ada you want to shed your family name and be your own person.
🍀 So when you're introduced after the fight you beg him to take you away, to help you dissappear. And him being naive and you being very fucking pretty, he's more than happy to oblige.
🍀 After his fight the two of you disappear together for several weeks, hes no idea of the trouble hes getting himself into, and youre naively trying to pretend this can last forever
🍀You love the nomadic life style, the not knowing where you'll be tomorrow or a week from now, the knowing that nobody can find you, that no one you meet knows a single thing about you. And you like the simplicity too...
🍀Bonnie can tell that youre hiding something from him but he isnt sure what and he trusts that youll tell him eventually... For you to be friends with Ada Shelby, for you to have been so desperate to get away from London... He knows that you have a darkness inside you... But like i said he trusts you... And he's seen a soft and innocent side to you.
🍀Over the weeks you spend travelling together you grow closer and closer. At night you sleep under the stars, wrapped up together in his big coat with a blanket over you both. In the morning you awake with the birds and he teaches you to hunt and to cook wild rabbit. You fall for eachother slowly. When you share your first kiss you feel guilty, you almost cry and he can tell youre upset.
🍀 "Don't be sad little dove, i know you're keeping secrets, i don't mind... You can tell me all your secrets when you're ready,"
🍀 When you return he takes you to meet his father, to tell him you want to be married, that youre in love which makes Aberama laugh. He thinks it hilarious because he can tell that his son still has no idea who you are.
🍀"Well miss youve certainly caused a lot of trouble without trying haven't you..." it turns out your father didnt take kindly to your disappearence.. The italians have been threatening the whole country trying to find you...
🍀 Bonnie is surprised, but quietly pleased... Not just with himself for having a mafia princess fall in love with him, but also because hes in awe of your defiance, this trick youve played on everyone including him... He thought you were sweet and innocent but here you are, a mafia princess whos brought the whole underground crime scene in britain to a grinding halt.
🍀 "Do you hate me Bon? I lied to you... Could get you fuckin killed? I understand if you never want to..." "Don't finish that sentence little dove," him hushing you, hand holding your cheek, thumb to your lips, "Don't need to finish that sentence," kissing you softly is the only answer you need.
🍀The first time he sees you pull a gun on anyone the man in question is your own father. Hes come to bring you home but you wont go... Bonnie is there as a peaky boy, standing with Michael and Isaiah watching and keeping his mouth shut. He knows hes dead if anyone clocks who he is. Your father threatens to kill every gypsy boy he meets until he finds the one whose stolen you... But you stand your ground.
🍀 "i wont lose my daughter to a fucking pikey..." "Then tell people I'm dead," you turn the gun on yourself your eyes locked with your father, your burning with defiance, a truly formidable lass, "I'd sooner blow my own brains out than continue to call you my fucking father..."
🍀 And its the fact he cant tell if youre bluffing that makes him back down. He gives in but tells you that theres no backing out, he'll tell the whole world youre dead, but you are dead, to him, theres no coming back. But you don't back down.
🍀"Your girls a fuckin terror Bonnie lad, hope youre going to tame her," Isaiah laughing eith Michael after the whole affair. "I fucken won't," Bonnies pretty much stubborn about that, he loves your defiance and hes proud cause he knows Isaiah and Michael are secretly terrified of you. Women who don't fear death are the most formidable creatures.
🍀 "You're incredible dove, that was incredible..." "but... You promise me now, you'll never point one of these things at that pretty little head of yours ever again..."
Isaiah
🐀Definitely bitten off more than he can chew. He's in love with you before he even realises whats happened to him.
🐀Doesn't know what to do with himself because for all his arrogance and confidence, he knows a girl of mafia blood is so far out of his league.
🐀Youre in London because your father has business with Tommy Shelby, and your father refuses to travel to the shithole which is Birmigham
🐀You came along for the legal drinking, the shopping and to see what all the fuss about "English" men was...
🐀And you don't think much of any of them at first... Most have them are a little ugly, badly dressed, dirty, with funny accents... And Isaiah has a funny accent but, he's good looking, and he has the cocky nature of any american boy youve ever met.
🐀He gets tasked with chaperoning you much to your delight... Less to your delight you know that one of your fathers men is trailing you too, just to make sure nothing bad happens, that this Peaky Boy doesnt try anything funny with you.
🐀You find it all bitterly amusing, youre a woman, not a mouse. If this Peaky Boy wants to try anything funny with you, just let him try, its you who will see to it he doesn't get very far...
🐀Although the idea of getting up to no good with an english gangster, one your father hates... Well its appealing to say the least. You're a bit of a brat, used to getting your own way, used to doing as you please and facing little consequences later...
🐀So you suggest to your new peaky boy that you both lose your dads man, you ask him to take you through the back streets until your fathers men can't find you... And isaiah knows he shouldnt but hes sensed the mood youre in and he cant pass up the opportunity to go too far with you. He wants to get into trouble with you... He has a feeling that Mafia girls fuck harder, more dangerously.
🐀"You wanna get into trouble Peaky Boy? My father will kill you for this? Aren't you scared?" "Not fuckin scared of anyone me sweetheart," "Fine, do your worst Peaky Boy..."
🐀It doesnt last too long because you don't have much time but its hot and heavy and rough... And its the best you've ever had, maybe thats just the adrenaline of knowing youre up to know good, the adrenaline of risking someone elses life for your own pleasure...
🐀And you do get caught, you suppose if you were being honest with yourself then you'd always known you would be.
🐀You get caught with Isaiahs cock still inside you, he's fucking you against the wall and youre not even being that quiet about it... your fathers man goes to shoot at Isaiah but you get there first, your shot killing your fathers man in a second...
🐀Isaiah is stunned, almost drops you but he doesnt want to dissapoint you so he tightens his grip, hes scared too, youre in so much fucking trouble and if anyone finds out what just happened Tommy will kill him before your father does...
🐀"Don't go soft on me Peaky Boy I'm only just getting started..." you practically growl, grinding your hips into his, and Isaiah isnt about to let you go, so he channels is fear and his amazement into fucking you twice as hard, growling to you about how much trouble youre going to get him into.
🐀But obviously its fucking worth it.
🐀You make him take you shopping afterwards and you return to your father with so many pretty dresses and shoes. A new red lipstick too.
🐀He obviously wants to know what happened, why his man hasn't returned with you and you speak before Isaiah can...
🐀"oh did you have someone following me daddy? We didn't notice anyone? Did you Isaiah?" the boy cant believe what hes hearing right now, youre asking him to lie not just to your father, but his own boss too... Still he does, after that day hes sure hed do anything you asked him to.
🐀You also make up a little story of your own, about how you were threatened by a man, someone tried to disresepct your dignity, you tell him Isaiah took his eyes for the insult and your father is quite satisfied that Tommys boy can keep you safe... So next time you want to go out, your father makes the condition that Isaiah has to go with you.
🐀Which you're quite happy with.
🐀"Youre gonna be the death of me love,"
🐀 So much of the time youre the one causing problems, getting yourself into scraps, because youre used to being a mafia princess, no one back home would dare say a word to you but over here so many of the men don't understand who you are... You wont stand for their shit
🐀So Isaiah does end up taking peoples eyes for you... Most of the time however its you that does the killing. Youre a real violent little brat it doesnt take much for you to decide to pull that trigger...
🐀Isaiah hasnt told any of his mates about what the two of you get up to when you get eachother alone... Its difficult for him to keep this to himself, usually he'd be bragging to high heaven about laying a woman like you... But he's keeping quiet because he knows it'll be you who kills him if he speaks.
Michael
☘️Meets you in America when hes been sent away by tommy... Hes harbouring that bitterness towards his cousin when he finds himself in dealings with the mafia on his brothers behalf.
☘️His life in America is good... He might not be there of his own free will, he might not be allowed to come back, but hes making it work, hes a feared gangster, a powerful and dangerous man
☘️And hes starting to get ideas above his station... Hes met you several times, youre always in his speakeasies drinking, getting snowed up and demanding Shelby gin on the house, your name affords you everything you want after all
☘️And he thinks you're another one of those pretty, espensive things he'd like to add to his collection.
☘️Youd be a real status changer for him, he could use you to win his feud with Tommy, finally be more powerful than his cousin...
☘️ And you're attracted to the brooding English man who runs this part of the city... He does dealings with your father so you know hes a real player in this game, hes dangerous too... And perhaps the only man arrogant enough not to fear the barrel of your fathers gun.
☘️Youve been going to Michaels bars and acting out, getting too drunk and causing fights because you want to get his attention. Its a childish way to attract a man but you know men like Michael Gray, you know that what they want is a possession, something they can tame, put in its place. Teach to be obedient. They like the challenge and secretly they like it when a woman threatens their ego and misbehaves.
☘️And you're right, youve read him like a book... He approaches you one evening at the bar and well, hes stern, hes aggressive, hes almost... Almost fucking rude to you...
☘️ "Miss y/l/n I'd like a word..." "Take your pick Mr Gray, how about two, fuck... Off..." "Don't test me love... You're going to come back to my office with me now, youre going to come quietly and then we're going to talk... And we can talk nicely or you can keep up with whatever this childish little act is alright? But you're going to come with me and we're going to have a little chat alright about the kind of behaviour which is and isnt acceptable in my establishment... "
☘️"Who the fuck do you think you are Mr Gray... Do you have any idea who i am?" "I know youre a little mafia brat with no manners... Anything else?"
☘️ Drags you by the wrist into his office where he practically pushes you down into a chair.
☘️ Stands before you and actually lectures you about your behaviour... About how he isnt going to stand for it anymore...
☘️" So whatre you going to do about it Mr Gray?" youre so cheeky, a real brat, but youre being provocative too... You know what you want from him and as you speak you open your legs just enough to catch his attention.
☘️ "So youre a whore as well as a brat are you?" this actually shocks you, you flush a little but youre idignant and you hold your ground. "Is that what you'd like me to be Mr Gray?"
☘️ He's going to teach you to behave, one way or another... And the only way he manages to is by fucking you into submission... Thats the only way he can get you to behave yourself for him, the only way he can make you beg his forgiveness...
☘️ Outside of the bedroom though youre still a spoilt brat and he doesnt help the fact, he buys you gifts, courts you properly, makes all the right moves on both you and your father
☘️Until eventually your father is convincrd that marrying you off to Michael Gray is the best business move he could possibly make.
☘️ So youre handed over to him on a silver fucking platter and though you pretend to remain defiant "Dont think this means I'm going to behabe myself Mr Gray..." secretly youre thrilled, this is exactly what you wanted.
☘️You want him to take you back to england with him, you want to meet the infamous Tommy Shelby... And when he finally takes you "home" dont be surprised hes showing you off like a pretty piece of jewellery...
☘️And should he really be surprised when Tommy catches your eye, when you realise that there are men more rich, more powerful and more dangerous than Michael Gray for you to persue.
☘️Threatens you, "you fuckin touch my cousin you little brat, I'll kill you..." but this jealousy, this new passion in him turns you on and so you find yourself caught trying to balance two men. Youre being selfish, youre taking everything you want, no matter who gets hurt.
Hope you liked them lovely ❤️❤️
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olderthannetfic · 4 months
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https://www.tumblr.com/olderthannetfic/740123102285086720/all-the-griping-about-ownvoices-claiming-to?source=share
Re: your response:
It's interesting because in the DS9 slash shipping fandom and particularly with Garashir, a lot of people DO write Julian Bashir, a character of color as their perfect woobie they projected on to - he probably gets that more than any other character in that fandom. And then there ended up being a backlash that people were "writing him as white," including in an actual academic paper I saw from someone who is on Tumblr, while they were willing to explore writing him as fully queer and neurodivergent headcanons in fic.
Which is interesting to me because most of the stuff that writes him as queer is stuff that just ships him with Garak or another dude, but doesn't spend a ton of time on his queer *identity*. And I'm personally fine with that; I've read enough coming-out stories and didactic identity explanations in both fic and professionally published/released original work to last me a lifetime. But if writing a COC without drawing attention to their racial/ethnic/cultural identity is "writing them as white," shouldn't writing a non-heterosexual character without drawing attention to their queer identity similarly count as "writing them as straight"?
Anyway, I go back and forth on this because I also understand how Islamophobia and general racism against MENA works, how the "good Muslim" or "good Arab" is one who is as assimilated as possible, and how it can feel with fic that has a COC but doesn't go into their background like that person is only ok with POC *up to a point*. As well as the issues with how in canon, Star Trek's diversity shows a lot of POC but has only started to recognize actual non-Western "cultural" touchstones very recently. (E.g. When they referenced literature, it was always Shakespeare or the ancient Greeks or Poe, never the Romance of the Three Kingdoms or Rumi.) I get that. At the same time, I've definitely read stuff especially by non-MENA people which wrote about "his culture" in a very exotifying way that seemed to suggest that that kind of cultural identity is only "real" if it happens in a very stereotypical way. And I also think especially with a character who is so heavily framed as British, with a British accent, played by an actor who is half-English and grew up there.... I've also seen the brainworms in fandoms from Star Wars to Bridgerton with how people can't accept European characters/actors of color as European, and I do wish people would consider how they're suggesting that English identity can only be "white" by acting like it's wrong to ever portray Bashir as English. Something I've heard plenty of British POC complain about as like an attitude in their country that actually harms them.
I think these questions are complicated, because you have racist phenomena on both ends. There definitely are racists who only accept POC if they are as un-POC as possible, if they are assimilated, and see them wearing or saying or doing things that mark them as culturally different as "threatening." But there are other racists who think the only right way to write "diverse stories" is to have them be heavily cultural and represent stereotypes - the poor, urban black American, the Arab who lives in the desert and wears a thawb and is a devout Muslim - and that POC who are not like that talking about their own lives are somehow not "authentic enough." The thing that the movie American Fiction is about.
--
Yeah. Fandom isn't nearly as bad about characters of color overall as some wank would say. Fandom fucking loves Asian characters who are the unmarked leads of Asian media (and no, I don't think it's just because they're pale or because some idiots in the 90s thought anime characters were white).
Bashir was treated in canon in a way that fandom likes. Naturally, fandom took note.
My own woobie blorbo is Rico from Miami Vice. He's much less the single perfect tear woobie than Sonny (his buddy cop partner who is white), but he still comes in for lots of whump and screen time and narrative focus. Ye Olde zine fandom was unkind to him, at least in the m/m parts (though a lot of that is because all of the old slash zines were edited by the same couple who were... like... kinning the ship that he's a rival to).
But a lot of fans who watch that show see a very pretty, very cultured man with epic buddy cop tension with his partner, nice suits, and tons of whump plots, and they're like "God damn, where is the fic???" If canon provides, the fannish interest will be there to at least some degree. (Getting enough good writers in the same fandom at the same time to launch it as a place readers will stick around is another story, unfortunately.)
My personal view, admittedly as a white girl, is that Sturgeon's Law means what we really need is a bunch of canons that dangle tasty blorbos at us and much less policing of fic. And then a solid reccing culture to sort through the bad stuff.
I've seen a lot of complaints about writing characters as "white", and they often strike me as clueless or disingenuous. I'd rather have a bunch of "Oopsie, Garak caught Bashir using the holodeck for kinky roleplay about himself" fics than people with no clue trying to inject MENA stuff that wasn't in the show and that they aren't personally competent to handle. And half the time, this complaint seems to be some sort of unintentionally racist bilge where the speaker thinks the fic is making someone too cultured or too upper class or too kinky or some other shit that has nothing to do with anything.
Honestly, I sometimes think that the real complaint is "How dare fandom sound like the upper-middle class suburbanite bookworms that so many of us are?!?!"
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ozwuv · 4 months
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I love your art! So, I was wondering if you have any drawing tips you could give?
Hiii thank you so much for the kind words, I am really glad you like it!!! :’3
As far as tips, this is kind of a broad question that I think it varies widely in terms of how you want your art to look. Personally, my main priorities are fluidity and character interaction, so that’s what I focus on even though it means I don’t really draw elaborate backgrounds and such. I’m sure I could become better at other things if I tried, but I’m not a professional nor am I trying to be, so I just focus on what’s fun to me.
Putting the rest of this under a cut bc it's gonna be long
As for actual advice, I have three big rules which I think have helped me continue to enjoy drawing as long as I have, which is the most important thing to me. I started drawing as soon as I could hold a pencil, and it's been my main outlet for good and bad times throughout my whole life (I am 26 now). Other people liking what I draw is a treat, but as long as I have fun, that’s ultimately what matters to me. That said, please keep in mind I am speaking solely for myself here since everyone draws for different reasons and in different ways.
The first thing is avoiding perfectionism at all costs when drawing, because it sucks the fun out of the process and ruins the visual fluidity in whatever I’m working on. An example of this is that I don’t like to go back and revise lines I’ve already placed, because the more I try to polish them, the stiffer they look. Even in digital art I try to roll with mistakes instead of erasing, or just completely undo the line I placed and try again. 
The other thing is something I actually picked up from dog training which is arguably my biggest passion in life. There’s a common saying amongst dog trainers: No “one more time” — which essentially means that when find yourself thinking “one more time,” you need switch gears immediately and do something else because you have hit your frustration threshold and every attempt from then on will be frustrating & counterproductive for both you and the dog. 
This applies to pretty much every aspect of life for me, but it made a huuuge difference when I started to consider it within the context of drawing. If I just stop whatever I’m frustrated with and go back to it later, 99% of the time I can pinpoint exactly what bothered me and how I could have fixed it. I’m typically not the type to work on something over various sittings, so even if I don’t finish the picture I was working on after coming back to it, being able to pinpoint what went wrong about it is a lesson I can apply to whatever I work on next.
The third rule ties into the last one, which is just not pushing myself. If I’m not having fun with a drawing anymore, I’m not going to force it. If it’s not coming out the way I want it to, I’m not gonna push it. Any time I've pushed through frustration to finish something, I wound up disliking how it came out. This isn’t really realistic for someone who is a professional (or aiming to be), but for me who just likes drawing anime characters for fun, it’s perfect. Because of this, I haven’t dealt with constant art blocks like I used to. I definitely still have them, but they're usually brief and not distressing to me. I feel like I’ve kind of stagnated the past several years, but at the end of the day I have a blast when I draw and that’s all that matters to me!
There's a common sentiment that everybody hates/is embarrassed of the things they drew in the past or even right after finishing and/or posting them. But it doesn't have to be like that, and imo it shouldn't. I think that just means there are some things about one's process and mindset that need to be reflected on.
Hopefully that helps somewhat, but YMMV if your priorities are more in the vein of constant improvement and/or being a professional :] I know this was kind of an abstract response, so if anyone has specific questions feel free to ask lol
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whattraintracks · 10 days
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Hello! I'm passing by with an opportunity to ramble if you'd like! :D I know you like Raph - what about Raph as a character appeals to you (any or all versions)? Do you have favorite Raph moments or episodes? Out of the other turtles, who do you enjoy Raph's dynamic with the most?
Yes, I would actually like to do that. Thank you much!! I've been wanting to post and write more now that classes are done, and this was a helpful kick-start. A little too helpful, some might say. Very long post ahead.
What about Raph as a character appeals to you (any or all versions)?
Honestly, liking Raph took me by complete surprise. Growing up on 12 and getting back into my TMNT fixation with Rise, Leo and Donnie were my favorite turtles by far. But then I decided to watch as much as I could in chronological order. 87 Raphael was not at all what I expected, and I immediately loved him. He's hilarious and exudes the kind of sarcasm I can only aspire to. And as I began watching and rewatching shows and movies, I realised a lot of them have this dry wit that appeals to my sense of humor.
Raphs also go through so much crap internally and externally, and I'm a sucker for angst. Plus, it's so important to me that no matter how much they struggle, no one gets and loves them so well as their family. Maybe a weird example, but I love Mr. Nice Guy (1987), in which Donatello's Personality Alterator gets turned on him accidentally, and the other three freak out and send him to therapy. Like it's a silly situation, but the fact that they clock something's really wrong in the way he's not acting like himself and get him help is heartwarming.
Had a good laugh earlier this week at the realisation that most Raphs are particularly sweet on kids, old blind folks, and animals. Followed a couple of days later by the thought, duh, these populations are particularly vulnerable to abuse and harm, so of course, a Raph is going to be protective of them.
Also, sai are so cool, what the heck. Can't believe I was obsessing over katana as a kid when sai are right there. With my limited understanding, they may not always be shown correctly in TMNT? But they're truly very neat weapons, and sai kata are cool to watch.
Do you have favorite Raph moments or episodes? 
Gotta love the classic
87 Donatello: Oh well, you know women. 87 Raphael: No, we don't!
Raphael Meets His Match (1987) is perfect. No notes.
90s Raph and Casey's first fight ("Cricket! Nobody understands cricket. You gotta know what a crumpet is to understand cricket"), then he goes home and curls up with Splinter to cry about getting his butt kicked by Some Dude. He's quite the daddy's boy in the 90s.
Raph's voice is unfairly gorgeous in Coming Out of Their Shells. I straight up clutched my heart the first time I heard it
Mikey: Tell 'em Raph! Raph: It isn't burgers or french fries that work for turtles of our size
I love this silly line entirely because of his voice and delivery. He's also fun to watch on stage. One of my favorite bits is this backward skip he does when he sings, "And moving backwards is a crying shame!"
The one where Venus gets her name
TNM Leo: Hey, Venus! Uh, what's with the statue head? TNM Raph: Hahaha! She won it in the park, slaying bad guys.
After the TNM gang saves a baby turtle from a poacher, Raph gets on the floor to be at eye level with her
Raph: You know what, you're kinda cute for such an ugly little thing. I'm you're Uncle Raph~ You wanna go for a ride in my hog? Ayo, Donnie! Can you make her a teeny tiny helmet?
And then Donnie teases him while everyone stares, so he gets offended (read: embarrassed), and Leo teases him harder, and he gets even more offended.
Just thinking about the beginning of Meet Casey Jones (2003) makes me tear up.
The almost as funny successor
12 Donnie: She's the most beautiful girl I've ever seen 12 Raph: Isn't she the only girl you've ever seen? 
As a fellow biggest sibling, Rise Raph in Pizza Puffs is such a mood. Also love the scene where he eats his phone in Mystic Library.
Out of the other turtles, who do you enjoy Raph's dynamic with the most? 
87 Raphael and Donatello's dynamic is very important to me. In my heart, they're twins. Some of my favorite episodes are the ones where they pair off or take the same side of a team argument: Splinter Vanishes, The Big Blow Out, Back to the Egg, Dirk Savage: Mutant Hunter, Combat Land, Cry H.A.V.O.C.!, etc. I also love this line from My Brother, the Bad Guy
Raphael: Okay, this is the point at which we get squashed like bugs, or! turn to Donatello for help. R+M+L: DONATELLO! 
Coming Out of Their Shells Sunset Duo are the besties everrrrr. Mikey raps a whole verse in Cowabunga about how Raph is his best friend and they wrote all of the music together and that is like the most epic thing ever and I love their energy and how they play off each other on stage and they love each so much I can't– 
TNM Raph and Venus!! The siblings ever, truly. So much sass. They are both overprotective of each other. They're literally the best.
03 Sunset Duo will never not be funny. Raph can be tricked into verbally affirming he loves Mikey when he thinks one or both of them are about to die. Raph is also incredibly distraught about Mikey possibly and then actually winning the Battle Nexus Tournament. Peak comedy and siblinghood.
07 Raph and Leo quite possibly make me feral. "Is he kiddin'? He's lecturing." I still can not believe he didn't know Raph was Nightwatcher. For so many reasons, but especially because some of his initial comments in that fight are pointed. I always wonder if, on some unconscious level, he did know. And then Raph goes through a battery of emotions with the katana breaking and pinning Leo and then running and all the screaming, gosh. Leo, too. They're so similar it hurts.
I also love 12 Sunset Duo, but I think I love the A-Team a little more. Honestly, their interactions remind me so much of my siblings and I. Pushing each other's buttons so hard, then taking over the world together. Actively trying to kill each other, but minutes later, they're professing their undying love. So much ganging up on their little siblings. Leo gets adorably excited with him sometimes ("Look, Raph, mouser-kebabs!"), and Raph is frequently going, how are we related??? ("Halt? Villain?? When did we start talking like that?!" and "Dude, it literally hurts to listen to you sometimes"). Favs.
Thanks for asking, and I hope everyone who made it here enjoyed the ride!
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So I'm bored again and I've come to take it out on you per usual.
Now, since my last ask touched upon darker(ish) ideas, today I figure I'll give you some lighter soulmate prompts this time around, the ideas all my own but any individual soulmate au is just one I plucked off of the internet. I may or may not end up writing them who knows:
When your soulmate is hurt, you grow flowers wherever on your body it happened. Her whole life, foreign flowers have sprouted from Neytiri's flesh and she doesn't know why. His whole life, foreign flowers have sprouted from Jake's flesh and he doesn't know why. (Just a cute flower fic. Obsessed with the idea of these two trying to explain their respective planets' flowers to one another.)
Ao'nung and Rotxo have known they were soulmates since before they even had any actual clue as to what a soulmate was. They have been promised to each other for over a decade. They have a plan, a life they're going to build together. Neteyam was never part of that plan. A third soulmate was never part of that plan. (Just like the idea of Rotxo literally doing the gods' work. Ao'nung: why is Neteyam here? Rotxo: Oh, I just thought it'd be fun to bring him along. Ao'nung: to our make-out spot? Neteyam: . . . I can go. Ao'nung: yes. Rotxo: no. Neteyam:  👀)
Neteyam and Tsireya are not soulmates. Not by a long shot. Their soulmate might as well be duty, and if that means becoming mates for the sake of an alliance between the sea and forest people after centuries of conflict then so be it. They'll find a way to come together. (I love stories of people fighting against the path chosen for them, don't get me wrong, but every now and then a sprinkle of the opposite fascinates me and I think these two would be perfect for the concept.)
Jake was born with the sentence "you should go away" on his shoulder and the sentence "don't thank. You do not thank for this" on his upper arm. Tsu'tey was born with the sentence "nah, you'd miss me too much" stretched across his abdomen. Neytiri has the sentence "hey wait, don't" on her lower arm. It isn't until the two go to the Augustine school that they even learn what it means. (Love the potential this has.)
From the moment they meet it's as if they can read each other's minds. It takes months for Jake and Norm to pick up on the fact that Kiri and Spider can actually read one another's minds. (They basically know each other better than anyone else, might as well crank that shit up to 11.)
A one-shot where Kiri and Tsireya are literally the lighthouse of soulmate relationships and all of their friends come to them to receive advice about their own soulmates. (Really random pairing but tbh I can dig the energy these two would bring to the table if dating.)
Spider has known that Neteyam is his soulmate since he was 7. Neteyam has known that Spider is his soulmate since he was six. Neither of them have told the other yet. (Bonus points if Tuk is literally the only one who knows and keeps on trying to play cupid.)
And I'm out for now folks.
Also, random thought but I just realized how much literally everyone in atwow needs a Rotxo in their life like seriously you could pair this guy with anyone from the group and I wouldn't bat an eye. Kiri? I get it. Ao'nung? I get it. Spider? I get it. Neteyam? I get it. Lo'ak? I get it.
Good god, yes, we nEED some happy aus and you know I love love soulmate aus. I'll be waiting for you to write them, we're all waiting for your other stories Boredom Anon.
-Gotta say, I've never vibed with those flower wound aus because I have a hard time conceptualizing it. However, I adore the idea of Jake and Neytiri both explaining differences in their worlds to each other, but focusing on one type of thing. That's why I lOVE a daemon au for them, because the daemons would be animals that the other isn't used to and that's interesting.
-KSKKSKS THE IDEA OF AO'NUNG BEING TRICKED INTO THIS BY ROTXO. That's a pairing I have yet to see, I'll be honest!
-Honestly, as someone that doesn't care for Neteyam and Tsireya, I do love the idea of non-soulmates bonding. I've been thinking about it since the Spider ghost fic I mentioned yesterday. How many people's soulmates are dead and are ghosts? If it's a lot, they have to end up in some relationships. There's something so sad and beautiful about meeting someone who's soulmate is also dead, and building a life together that might not have been predestined and is also a little haunted, but still is nice all the same. Sorry, I'm still stuck on the ghost shit.
-lOVE Neytiri/Tsu'tey/Jake having first sentence soulmarks, I love the confusion of the Na'vi being confronted with English they don't understand on their children. I love it so much.
-Kiri and Spider reading each others minds is basically canon already, but it just would mean Spider can't hide all of his darkest feelings from Kiri. None of that loneliness or desperation for family can slip through the cracks; I think it would result in a Sully child revolution at a way younger age lol. If Spider being Kiri's soulmate didn't already change things.
-I have totally seen Tsireya and Kiri shit, they are super fun. I also loooove a couple that is flawless and in everyone else's business all the time.
-I think nocorro might have taken over locorro for me, but I cAN'T say this yet it's too much to do to my boys. This concept, man, it's got so much comedy and tragedy potential. It depends on what the soulmate au is, you know? Is it soulmarks, is it shared dreams or shared pain; what is is changes the outcome. I won't go into more detail cause I have something I'm cooking up that's a little similar to this, but I won't forget it, we'll come back to it.
As always, thank you for our soulmate au food boredom anon. I am lOVING them.
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