#anyone is more than welcome to make their own chart

[luciddownloading]

Tarot Reading: What Makes You Attractive? 🔥

Hi and welcome/welcome back for another Tarot reading. It is Valentine's Day at the time of me posting this and I figured it would be a good time for a reading like this. A love-based reading would be a bit cliche today. But, I guess it's also a little cliche to talk about being your own Valentine. Whatever! It's important to fill yourself with love if you don't have a partner, whether it's Valentine's Day or not!

So, we are going to talk about what makes you attractive. I felt like giving you guys a hype session, as my Valentine's gift to you! And listen, anyone can be attractive, whether it's physically or mentally or personality wise. So, please set the self-deprecating mindset aside. You have valuable and wonderful qualities, inside and out, and someone out there would be lucky to be with you.

Choose the image or images below that you feel most drawn to and then keep reading to hear about your attractive qualities. With readings like this, you have to know the difference between "this doesn't resonate" or "I don't believe this about myself". Deep down, you should know whether or not it actually describes you. If it truly does not sound like you at all, then it's not your pile.

PS: This reading is timeless and I am also not taking reversals

PILE 1

PILE 2

PILE 3

PILE 4

PILE 1

The Hermit

(clarified by: Seven of Pentacles)

Ten of Swords

(clarified by: The High Priestess)

Four of Pentacles

(clarified by: Ten of Cups)

Death (back of the deck)

Pile 1, you are unforgettable! The thing that makes you so attractive is how you linger in people's lives, long after you've gone. You straight up haunt people from your past, especially exes or former love interests. Even ex friends. It's kind of like you're this drug and being without you leaves people in withdrawal. I'm getting that song Your Love Is My Drug by Kesha. That's how people feel toward you. But, of course, that doesn't always feel so great because it's more so that people are in love with the high of being with you than the actual you. Yes, "addictive" is just what keeps coming to mind. Please watch out for codependent relationships because I think you give so much of yourself that you can unconsciously feed into that dynamic.

Whew, I am actually getting a few people ( and you will know who they are) who see you as "the one who got away". And you're probably thinking, "Yes, I am glad I got away". Lol but rest assured, when someone in a romantic situation does not appreciate you, does not put in the effort or do the work, they end up regretting it. People break their own hearts by breaking yours, especially because when you are done, you are DONE. I think you have had to cut certain people off and you do not waver. You're not the person desperately calling their ex when they get lonely. And that is actually what makes you attractive. You have standards and self-respect.

You could have some Virgo energy in your chart and I am definitely getting a major Scorpio influence here. You are so powerful and intuitive and I would not be shocked if you have psychic gifts. This is also so attractive to others. Skeptics may turn their nose up at some people who are into Tarot or astrology and such. But, with you, people usually are just fascinated and want to know more, even if they are typically skeptical. A message I am getting is if you would like to get into spiritual work of some kind, you would be VERY successful. You would be a very wise counselor and guide to a lot of people who are struggling, in need of healing or empowering, and you would command a lot of respect.

I don't think you would ever see spirituality as an "aesthetic" but you have that quality. You don't even have to make your Instagram or Tumblr spiritually focused (although it would take off if you did). You just really are this High Priestess figure, whether you're male or female. You exude this mystique and almost otherworldly understanding. Many people may not realize that this stems from you surviving absolute hell and developing profound wisdom and resilience in the process. Shadow work and introspection are like second nature to you . This allows you to grow through whatever you go through, instead of letting it destroy you.

You have gone through many, many transformations in life and it gives you this allure. Honestly, you seem untouchable, in a sense. This is why people from your past feel like you're out of reach. I think there are many relationships or situations you are divinely protected from. Also, you are super-private/elusive. Even if you have social media (and many of you don't), you don't share much of your actual life on there. That mystique is a big thing with you and it only makes you more attractive. You know how to leave others wanting more.

And once someone falls for you, is truly in love with you, they never get over you. You've got some serious siren energy: seductive and magnetic but a little scary. It's because you deeply and forever change whoever falls for you. You're that ex who future partners are compared to and it might make someone's partner feel insecure or jealous. Maybe that's something someone is dealing with right now. (If so, let me know the tea lol) You are sometimes unaware of how profoundly you impact others. You are just being you and you're also so focused on working on yourself that you often don't realize how far you've come. You are a healer, a way-shower, and others are in awe of your power.

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PILE 2

King of Pentacles

(clarified by: Wheel of Fortune)

Ten of Swords

(clarified by: Four of Wands)

Temperance

(clarified by: The Hierophant)

Two of Swords (back of the deck)

Pile 2, you are attractive because of what a stabilizing influence you are on others. When you are around, people feel safe and secure. On solid ground. This is because you are a remarkably solid person. You actually can be fated to come into the lives of people who are really messy, anxious, disorganized or aimless and help them get on track. I am definitely getting a Daddy vibe from this pile, regardless of whether you're a man or a woman (but not in that kinky way, unless you're into that). You are able to play a positively paternal role toward others. You give sound advice, talk some sense into people, and I also don't think you tolerate much nonsense. But, you do it in a loving way. I am just seeing the scene of Cher from Moonstruck where she says "Snap out of it!"

Speaking of Cher, that also reminds me of that clip where she says (paraphrasing) "My mother always asks me when I'm going to marry a rich man. And I said, Mom, I am a rich man." You can fully provide for yourself, especially in a material sense (or this is your ultimate dream and goal). If you're a woman, this can be especially empowering and, if you're into men, I think they are more so enamored with this quality of yours than threatened by it. It's attractive that you are this boss, that you are so in charge of your life. People love that you're this hustler and a real success story. And you probably had to go through some difficult times to get there. You've earned your success and people respect that.

And if you're scoffing and saying, "Yeah, right. I am not even close to that yet", it doesn't matter. People look at you like a success, even if you don't feel like one yourself. I think this pile has super-high standards and serious expectations of themselves. Perfectionists who can beat themselves up a bit (or a lot) for falling short of those expectations. But, you don't realize that most people are impressed by you, even when you feel like a flop. Your flop era is like someone else's good day. And you have this way of still powering through and delivering great results even when you're suffering or struggling. I keep getting the example of Britney Spears and how 2007 was a nightmare for her but she also released Blackout, which is considered her best and most influential album by a lot of people (including her). Are the Britney stans in this pile lol?

But, the point remains that you are capable of creating some eye of calm, control and competency in the midst of any storm. You could definitely have a strong Earth influence (Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn) in your chart, especially Taurus. Also, there's possible Sagittarius energy here. You take whatever you go through and make it into lemonade and you could have a very philosophical or spiritual side that people really admire and look up to.

I am also getting the message that you guys struggle with imposter syndrome pretty intensely. You always feel like you're just pretending like you know what you're doing when you really don't. Few people know how often you are freaking out on the inside. It may be alienating because even when you try to open up about these insecurities, people don't really believe you or gloss over it. You're just a little too good at convincing others that you've got everything under control. But, you actually feel like a hot mess. Boss Bitch by Doja Cat may resonate for you. Ultimately, you have to come to terms with people seeing you as perfect even when you know how imperfect you really are. And maybe that's a good thing that you see yourself that way. It keeps you humble (which is another appealing quality of yours).

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PILE 3

The Empress

(clarified by: Strength)

The Fool

(clarified by: Queen of Cups)

The Hanged Man

(clarified by: Page of Cups)

Justice (back of the deck)

Oh, okay, Pile 3! This is some serious goddess energy. Yes, please know that you are a goddess, first of all. And you can be male or female here. This is about energy! I think people are just in awe of you because you have some major Divine Feminine power. I really feel like you either work with a goddess or two (maybe you have a patron deity) or you feel strongly connected to a goddess figure. I am definitely getting Aphrodite the strongest but I also get Freya, Oshun, and Lakshmi. Also, possibly Isis. It could be anyone, thpugh. Take what resonates! But, I feel like it's one of the love goddesses or a particularly feminine one. She just wants you to know how much she loves you! You are like her child, blessed with a similar energy.

So, yeah, that powerful femininity makes you so attractive and appealing. You see being feminine as this form of strength, a different kind of power in this excessively masculine society. You stand out in that way and while that may lead you to being underestimated or taken for granted at times (a common Divine Feminine struggle), you inevitably come out on top and show people what you are made of. A major message I am getting is that you are always vindicated, sooner or later. In conflicts with others, try to avoid getting too messy or holding grudges. Speak your mind and stand up for yourself when needed but also remember how powerful grace or forgiveness are. The more you let go of drama or kill with kindness, the more your enemies or anyone whose hurt you will self-implode or experience consequences.

You don't have to do anything to get revenge but live well and the more unbothered you are, the more the tides will turn in your favor. In fact, even the people who wrong you or hate on you can't keep at it for long. Hating on you is like hating on a Gucci or Louis Vuitton bag. You can hate it for whatever reason but it's going to continue to thrive and be high-quality and in-demand. So, people often come around to you, whether you actually care or not. You also have this ability to open others' hearts, especially in romance. You are so real and emotionally accessible and unafraid to be vulnerable. Anyone with a blocked heart, any toxic masculine counterparts, are bound to see the value in accessing their emotions and being vulnerable via your example.

You show people that there is no weakness in feminine expression. In fact, you are braver and stronger and ballsier than many people. Since you are so willing to listen to your intuition, you are also unafraid to take risks. You always follow your heart. I'm hearing Listen To Your Heart by Roxette. People often admire your life choices and look up to you because you're willing to go against the grain. You don't let society tell you how to live. There is a defiant rebel, a fierce free spirit, within you and it's a juxtaposition to the soft, kind, nurturing side you show. I am also hearing Whitney Houston's version of I'm Every Woman. Again, you don't have to be a woman for it to resonate. You just are a very feminine being who embodies many different facets.

And I am getting a ton of different signs, too: Taurus, Libra, Leo, a big emphasis on the Water signs (Cancer, Scorpio, Pisces). Libra and Pisces are especially strong but you could have placements in any of those signs. And another thing that makes you attractive? You are just very physically attractive! Whether you see it or not. Everyone else definitely does. I also think it doesn't matter if you are tired or rested, dressed up or dressed down, younger or older. You are absolutely gorgeous with this sensual aura and your beauty is eternal.

I think people are very enamored with you and your looks and it's always been that way and always will be. You will age very gracefully and, if you choose to have kids, you will definitely be a Hot Mom or Hot Dad. People are also so attracted to you because they want to cuff you. This pile definitely has "relationship material" vibes. It's just a matter of who can actually be with you or commit to you. Again, you are seen as very high-value, which may intimidate a lot of romantic interests. This might be frustrating but remember that the right person won't be intimidated and will be able to match you.

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PILE 4

Three of Wands

(clarified by: Seven of Wands)

Ace of Swords

(clarified by: Eight of Swords)

Queen of Wands

(clarified by: Ten of Wands)

The Chariot (back of the deck)

Pile 4, there is something regal about you that is very attractive. I am also getting the word "majestic". Majestic beauty. Majestic presence. Majestic aura. You exude a great deal of confidence. You could have significant chart placements in Fire (Aries, Leo, Sagittarius). Leo is coming in particularly heavy. There is always a crown on your head, metaphorically speaking. (Some of you may put effort into having good posture and, if not, your Guides may be calling you to do so) You walk with your head held high, no matter what happens to or around you. In fact, the tougher life gets or the more people try to bring you down, the more self-assured you become. But, this can get exhausting! There may be certain people around you now (or who were around you) who made concerted efforts to chip away at your self-worth and it was NEVER successful. Then, they become the very thing that they accused you of being.

There is a significant amount of shaming, guilt-tripping or controlling behavior you will have to go through in life. But, surviving this is part of where your confidence comes from. You have had to face off against people who didn't want you to shine or be truly express yourself or stand in your power. For many of you, I am getting the sense that you grew up in an environment that was either really abusive or very toxic. You didn't have a voice or any control over your circumstances, so much so that you don't ever, ever want to experience that in your life now. I feel like you left the life of your childhood far behind, whether that means literal in terms ofwhere you lived or on a more psychological level, vowing to never live the life that you were once forced to live.

You may have gotten a pile in a previous reading or two of mine about being a cycle-breaker and stopping the generational curse in your family. That's something you have had to do or that you're still very much fighting that battle. Either way, you will be looked to as very appealing because of this. Your family members could find that attractive about you because we are, after all, talking about all kinds of attraction, including platonic. I can see you being an inspiration to your family members for the changes you've made that they couldn't, although that doesn't mean that they will evolve at the same pace as you. If anything, you're an example to them of what life could be like, if they were happier or braver or healthier mentally. And although you are the "black sheep" of the family, if you happen to have any nieces or nephews or young cousins, they will look at you as some fascinating anomaly. The way you break the family's established rules and forge your own path can give them a vision of their own potential.

You might also have personal placements in Cancer. Family is a big deal to you yet you don't need a conventional family to be happy. You can also consider non-biological loved ones your true family, over biological ones. I am sensing that you guys are overdue in terms of meeting your "tribe". You have a very strong soul family that you are destined to reunite with in this life. I think quite a few of your Spirit Guides are part of your soul family. The others? You've yet to meet them or maybe you will meet them when you open yourself up to it. That way, you'll feel less alone and less trapped. You need to find friends who are like-minded people; those who have the same interests and outlook as you.

People really admire how balanced you are. I can see you having an equal amount of masculine and feminine energy, even though the feminine aspect of you may be more dominant. You are no shrinking violet! You push back and take up space. You are more of a fiery feminine personality that can lean toward androgyny, including in how you dress. But, I am also getting this image of supermodels on the catwalk, like 90's fashion shows with Naomi Campbell and Shalom Harlow in them. Graceful and beautiful but FIERCE. That's your energy. And you are a combo of many opposites: intellectual and intuitive, emotional and level-headed, introverted and extroverted.

People may project a lot on to you as you have a way of triggering people's insecurities, especially because of your authenticity and confidence. I also think many of you own your sexuality in a way that triggers people. But, you may also be feeling afraid of potential backlash or criticism. Just know that your IDGAF side is so appealing and awesome to others. You might not bring it out that often but when you do, people are like, "Whoa! What a badass. I love him/her/them." So, work on cultivating that energy, if you haven't already. I am also getting Rihanna vibes from this pile. Needed Me is coming through. And random note: you may be a great singer or have a super-attractive speaking voice. Much like Rihanna has a very distinctive singing voice and a beautiful accent (you may, as well). Your voice could also be very soothing/calming.

#tarot #tarot reading #channeled reading #channeled message #pick a pile reading #channeled song #pick a pile #pick a picture #pick a card #pick a card reading #what makes you attractive

[pigdemonart]

Battle Subway Depot Agents (by pig-demon)

When I made designs for these guys last year I didn’t really think they needed colored references/master post, but since then I’ve drawn them a lot! Also people have added them to their fanfics and drawn fanart! So I figured it was time I made a post for easy ref. :]

These designs are obviously free to use, just give credit (and link me your work if you're comfortable, because it makes me happy to see!) All I request is to stay respectful to their pronouns and skin colors, ya knooow… 👍 note: The pokemon on their cards are all companions, not the ones they use on the Battle Subway. Except Jackie...the litwicks are just there to fill space/give them company.

More info under cut:

Edit: Important disclaimer:

These are again my designs/interpretations for the agents. Please don’t treat them as canon or as the only, quintessential designs for these literal background npcs. Many people have done takes on them before and after me, even back in 2010. It feels silly to ask, but due to past experience, I ask that you please DONT hunt down anyone that does a different take on the depot agents!! 👍

Tags:

I'm gonna start tagging them individually, but for now all Depot Agent comics and art on this blog are tagged under Depot Agents.

Height chart:

I’m not too strict about heights, so I don’t really care about actual measurements. Here’s an approximation of what I tend to visualize though:

Sexualities/Gender Identities: I don't have official labels for each and every agent because I like keeping things fluid for characters to develop these traits on their own. However, as a queer person, I enjoy designing characters who are also queer, therefore I can safely say none of these characters are straight. The ones who are set in stone are Ramses (gay man), Cloud (lesbian woman,) Jackie (non-binary.) Furze uses he/they pronouns but their gender is undetermined. I also welcome anyone giving the agents a different gender identity to suit them (as long as it's done respectfully.)

Notes about each agent...

Cameron:

- Cameron dyes parts of his hair blonde and keeps other parts in black. This is because he is a big fan of Elesa and her fashion choices.  - Though there have been a few occasions to meet his idol, he is always way too nervous to approach her, feeling deep down that he'll mess up somehow. - He practices modeling poses in secret. He loves flourishes and flare, but is simply too insecure to put it on display. - Of his coworkers, he gets along the best with Furze. He's the easiest to talk to because Furze will do most of the talking. - Cameron is easily intimidated — even mean Pokémon can make him nervous. Though, his two worst fears are being left in a room alone with Jackie, and being left alone in a room with Isadore. - He takes advantage of his height to sometimes hide behind some of his coworkers. - Cameron is much better at Pokémon battles than he gives himself credit for. Emmet and Ingo were pleasantly surprised by this, since Cameron was promoted to fit a temporary role on the Battle Subway. They happily made him a permanent member when he proved himself capable. - His Dwebble (Pebby) is secretly very strong, and rushes to protect Cameron when it can. Cam sometimes thinks Pebby helps him feel more confident in himself too.  - If he stumbled into any of his coworkers outside of work, he would simply explode of embarrassment. - He is the youngest child and only son of his family. He lives in his own apartment in Nimbasa.

Cloud:

- Cloud (like Ramses) knew the twins when they were very young. - She used to be an ace trainer in her youth, even going so far to compete in the Pokémon league. Winning and becoming the champ was the most important part of her journey, but something happened along the way that changed that outlook. - It seems with age, her competitiveness has mellowed out. However, she maintains an intense energy when battling.  - Her favorite types are Psychic and Flying types. Swoobat (Sweetie) is her ace.  - Her favorite hobby is baking, and she often bakes sweets for the crew. She knows all their favorite flavors by now! - She prioritizes keeping a friendly relationship with all her coworkers and thinks of them fondly. She considers Ramses family after all the years of working together!  - She is a big fan of Brycen's movies and can recite the lines. - She lives with her wife in Anville. - Cloud loves doing maintenance work both at home and in Gear Station. She enjoys bringing her own tools and industrial flashlight.

Furze:

- Furze only has one volume setting (mid loud,) but he finds himself feeling right at home when talking to either one of the twins. - Furze has ADHD, and this is reflected in some of his habits, most visibly is his fidgeting when sitting still for too long. - He rides a bike to work every day. When he is late, Cloud clocks in for him so he doesn't get in trouble. - This is a kind of a guy that sits crouched gargoyle style on chairs. Only outside of work, of course. Bad posture could get him in trouble. - While working on the Battle Subway, there will be times Furze feels sorry for his opponents and offers to quietly let them pass anyways. This...has also gotten him in trouble. :[ - He went to the same elementary school as Isadore in Castelia. Though Isadore seems to have forgotten their short-lived acquaintance, Furze has not. This is part of the reason Furze claims they are in fact good friends!!! - Furze is the middle child of a big family. He lives with his mom and takes care of her, along with his many Darumakas and Darmanitan. All of his Pokemon have famous trains names. - He collects model trains. Naturally.

Isadore

- Isadore had plans to become the station master the moment he was hired as a depot agent, but alas... (sad trumpet sound.) - As a youth, he was more interested in science and engineering over Pokemon battles. He enjoys the strategizing aspect, at most. Not so much the competitiveness. - In addition, his Pokemon are all rescues and not used for battling. He's had his Watchog (Winston) since he was in his late teens. - His Electrode (Gregor) and Voltorb (Leonard) were rescued from the likes of Team Plasma. - Isadore admits he understands Pokemon better than humans. This has been apparent his whole life. - In spite of acting like a sitcom villain, Isadore cares about the management of Gear Station and the safety of the passengers to an incredible degree. He sees it as a personal life goal to assist in the management of Gear Station, as well as the success of the Battle Subway. - Though it pained him to become a subordinate to the twins, he begrudgingly accepts it for the greater good. - His almost militant efficiency certainly made up for his years of antagonizing the twins before they became the bosses. Ingo and Emmet understand this better than anyone. - Isadore keeps tabs on all of the staff members. So he very well knows all their birthdays and makes it a point to celebrate it. This is by no means a -happy- or -festive- event. It's just customary. - Like Furze, he was originally from Castelia, but now resides in Nimbasa. Isadore's only family is his mom and she lives in his childhood home with their Stoutland. - Isadore would have probably been voiced by every glasses guy ever J. Michael Tatum had he not already been cast as dear Emmet lmao

Jackie

- Jackie is a mystery and they like keeping it that way. When they talk, it's practically impossible to determine what is a lie or truth, especially if the subject is themselves or their background. - They love scaring Cameron the most and will ask to be paired with him whenever possible. They claim Cameron is their "favorite coworker," while Isadore is the least favorite. - It's plain to see why -- Jackie is the only one that doesn't passively tolerate Isadore's tirades. - Though my comics sometimes may allude to Jackie being a ghost/supernatural, this is not confirmed nor canon. I just personally enjoy toying with the concept. : ) That being said...

- Item #: SCP 7453

- Object Class: Euclid

- Special Containment Procedures: The ████ ██████ is ██████ within ████-██████. - Ingo and Emmet choose to not question anything about Jackie, since it's clear they're one of the more efficient workers. However it can be a safety concern... - Cloud and Ramses have worked with Jackie for a long time, though they've forgotten somehow. They believe Jackie is a new hire since they appear to be young. - Anyone trying to make sense of Jackie's employee records simply can't bring themselves to any conclusions. It's better to ignore the inconsistencies. - Jackie has never been seen to leave Gear Station. Jackie has never been seen in anything but their uniform. Jackie has never been confirmed to eat, drink or blink. Jackie knows your secrets. Jackie thinks it's... amusing.

Ramses

- Ramses sometimes misses having a full head of hair, but he thinks his signs of age make him look distinguished. (he is correct.) - Ramses is sort of the "mom friend," making sure everyone's concerns are heard, as well as trying to keep the peace whenever a conflict might arise. - If another coworker is feeling low, Ramses will try to cheer them up with a lighthearted joke or offer advice if they'd like it. - When the twins were promoted to bosses of the Battle Subway, Ramses cried because he felt so proud. - In most circumstances, he is a very simple and logical man. He is quick to find solutions and tries not to fret over the little stuff. It's not good for his heart after all. - His ace is his Pikachu (Musa,) though the mouse is more of a lap pet now. At home, he also has an Audino (Sara) and a Manectric (Nubi) who keep Ramses' husband company. His Klinklang (Moli) is the only one of his personal pokemon that accompany him to work nowadays. - Ramses considers Cloud family. They are best friends and love having family gatherings outside of work. They also gossip a lot, and don't mind when Jackie decides to join. - Ramses jokes about looking forward to retirement, but really doesn't want to leave until he is physically incapable of working anymore. Gear Station is like a second home to him.

In-Game Quotes

The most important reference of all are their in-game quotes, of course, so I'm adding it to the post. A lot of their personality traits can be extracted and interpreted from these few lines. And I personally love that about Pokemon NPCs -- there's a lot of room to explore and play with. Some appear very obvious. Cameron practically announces that he isn't ready for the battle that's about to ensue and seems genuinely surprised to win. Furze comes out the gate talking about the subject they actually care about, which is their job and their love for trains. The two of them are very easy to understand. Now, Ramses lines allude to a gentle and simple personality. He views himself with humility, and maybe even with a bit of humor comparing himself to a train and to his opponent to a station. If he loses he shows no signs of disappointment, he just accepts defeat with one last honest quip. It s also amusing to see the Depot Agents all use train metaphors to describe themselves since it falls in line with how Ingo and Emmet talk.

In comparison, Cloud does the same thing calling herself the terminal instead. Immediately, she is way more daring, though still keeping a sense of professionalism. To me, it's obvious she is competitive as she even admits she was expecting to win ("Ah...I didn't see it coming.") Jackie's lines are fun since it's up to interpretation if they are being literal or lying. It's almost like they are more interested in confusing/creeping out their opponent than actually beating them. To me, it gives off a mischievous vibe. Isadore's opener "There are only two roads in life." is a curious one because it almost feels like he is trying to be philosophical. Definitely a guy who views himself as an intellectual, regardless if that’s true or not. I like to think it's a saying he really believes in, and it applies to his life. The road he likes (long route) vs the road he hates (shortcut) -- fighting tooth and nail to become boss vs biting his tongue and accepting Ingo and Emmet as the Subway Masters.

Those are just my thoughts on how I write these characters. Please have fun playing with these lines too!

#depot agents #depot agents master post #my art #submas #submas adjacent ahaha #will probably edit as time goes on but who knows really #if you spot any typos no you dont kiss kiss #cameron #cloud #furze #isadore #jackie #ramses

[suniverseastro]

ASTROLOGY OBSERVATION #15

Sagittarius is very territorial, they have a need to go on a lot of adventures, but they really need a peaceful and comfortable home where they can do everything according to their own interests. Sagittarius highly respects the personal space of family members and they often encourage, and family members to express and develop their talents and have a sense of freedom. They also hate people who disturb their comfortable and quiet space. Selfishness is one of the characteristics that Sagittarius hates living together.

Scorpio rising is usually not an individual who will have a bright and friendly smile the first time they meet.

Pisces/Neptune has a strong impact on the chart, making that individual very spiritual and aiming for liberation and spiritual development, learning about the soul, the non-physical world, walking meditation,… what their souls long to welcome

Water signs have a rather strange self-protection mechanism. They often have premonitions before things are about to happen, so water signs often have a nervous and anxious mood, they will prepare very carefully before starting a project or job (I think Virgo also has this trait)

Fire signs usually do not try to be aggressive with others and they also often do not think about the situation where others will cause trouble with them. They are also optimistic, sociable and cheerful individuals unless they see bad things happening to them. injustice and are taught to protect themselves and others, so chives often take precautions to avoid unfair and selfish issues that cause disputes, but if a dispute occurs they can become So scary and easily emotionally explosive. Aries screams more easily than Leo and Sagittarius

Opposite signs are very different, like Gemini uses words more and they like to learn a lot about social issues, events, and modern information. Sagittarius likes philosophy and they love travel activities such as going to the forest or the sea to feel all the feelings that nature and each other have. If Gemini travels, they will be more interested in learning about interesting things around them than in feeling the action

Virgo and Pisces are also extremely different when Virgo will not let anyone intend to take advantage of them, they also analyze everything based on logic and real facts in life while Pisces is more natural. about feeling everything and receiving information as if it had to go through a mysterious filter from the universe to transform it into knowledge. Compared to Virgo, Pisces is more susceptible to being taken advantage of.

Scorpio and Taurus both have an extremely terrible desire to possess, which can be said to be the most terrible of the 12 zodiac signs and makes their partner sometimes feel clingy and have difficulty breathing. Scorpio love to delve deeply into another person's inner self, all the darkness and light of another person, they find the characteristics that can trigger huge changes like a triggering bomb. their potential, their subconscious as well as the opponent's. Taurus seems brighter under the beauty of Venus, they love to learn about things, other people's feelings, secrets, they know the stressors for them and they will find solutions to help for a better life

Libra can become an artist who writes songs and poems about love with extremely cute and beautiful words, sympathetic and reaching people's hearts.

The characteristics of the conjucnt planet Pluto show that they have insight into the properties of that planet. For example, Venus conjunct Pluto they will recognize loyalty, honesty, communication, accompanying each other and helping plastic regardless of all difficulties and hardships,…

+ The Sun conj Pluto will focus on personal identity, they learn their true nature forcing them to face many faces that are not themselves, they have very arduous processes but are usually not the ones to give up, often they will find themselves of them through psychology or spirituality, others when looking at them will have a hard time understanding them because of their mystery, they can feel a good or bad part of themselves through the person with the Sun conjunct Pluto is easily misunderstood but they can be individual contributors and contributors…

Have a nice day! Thank you guys for your support <3

Love you

#astrology observation #sagittarius placements #scopio rising #fire signs #gemini placements #sun conjunct pluto #venus conjunct pluto #libra placements #taurus #scorpio #pisces #neptune aspect #water signs

[uyuforu]

Can you do his boda PC after juno?

Jungkook's Boda Persona Chart

-> Perfect use for this gif lol

What is the Boda Persona Chart?

-> The Boda Persona Chart is a chart focused on the wedding day of the native! All the placements are indicators on how your D-Day will go. This Persona Chart is based on the asteroid Boda, discovered in 1938 by Karl Wilhelm. It was named after Karl Boda. Boda means "wedding" in Spanish.

Planets & Asteroids Placements

Sun in Capricorn 2H, 12°

-> Sun in Boda PC represents the way the wedding will be, where it will take place, and what is the final result, the essence of the wedding. House is what shines most about it.

The sun is in Capricorn, meaning the wedding seem to be very well organized. Maybe money will be spent on it, it will be an important event for the family and close people. An event of the year type. The organization will be very professional, maybe hiring professionals to help with it. The style will be minimalist chic. Luxurious and rich style, Cold too. High society style. A very chic place. The wedding will be a success in everyone's eyes. It might be private for close people, not anyone will enter to the wedding ceremony. The 2H (Taurus) meaning that it's aesthetic and design will be what stands the most for the wedding. People will find the most luxurious things there: the best food, the best decorations, the best service, the best ceremony, etc. Good food! It will be a very minimalist wedding, but still very chic. There will be a sense of welcoming there, the aesthetic is cold but the feeling is very warm there. Romantic atmosphere. A lovely wedding. The 12° is under pisces, meaning it will be super cute and romantic. JK might sing a song at his wedding, it's a possibility. He will be very inspired by his wedding. It might also be a spiritual union. Or there is a part of spirituality. Romantic in cheesy type, can be also the type of wedding where everyone cry lol.

Boda in Aquarius 3H, 10°

-> Same as the Sun

The Aquarius placement there makes me feel like it will be a very unique wedding. There is a stellium in Aquarius which makes me feel like it's the most thing that will define the wedding: unique. There might be many stuff that make the wedding stands out. It might be a wedding that many people wait for, the most expected one. Some people will say it's weird. It might be unique for certain things, maybe for Koreans and his closed ones, and it might be because the bride is foreigner. So she might bring her own culture in it, which makes it unique. The 3H (gemini) can make the wedding happens in foreign lands! JK might get married in his FS's homeland, and since we have Aquarius stellium, I wouldn't be shocked. The Gemini placement means it's a wedding that will be talked about a lot. People from different cultures, different countries there. Gossips and rumors about it. So the wedding might shine through the world, many countries will talk about it. It might be an amazing wedding to the siblings of the couple, and the army, the people on the internet. The 10° (Capricorn) will make the wedding still appear classy!

Moon in Pisces 4H, 5°

-> The emotions towards the wedding, house represents which area the emotions are most felt towards

Okay, did I already say people will cry? Yes. Another confirmation. A very emotional wedding, people might cry because it's very romantic. It might be very artistic too, many artists will be present. More musically speaking. A lot of ballads played at the wedding. A lot of emotional people and speeches. Groom and Bride will both cry for sure. The 4H (cancer), full of water here wow. JK and FS's families will be the most to cry. BTS are also considered JK's family as he grew up with them, so they might cry too. JK or/and FS's mothers will cry the most. Bride can cry more than JK. It can also make a lot of people cry about it too, like armys and even delulus (lol). The 5° (Leo) makes the wedding cry of happiness. Many people will cry for emotions but it's mostly because of how happy they are. Overall, a lot of people will be happy for them.

Mercury in Sagittarius 2H, 19°

-> Legal matters, are they signing a prenup for ex? Wedding linked to spirituality or religion? How is the communication during the wedding?

With Sagittarius mercury here, the wedding could be spiritual or religious if anyone is. Since pisces and Aquarius are there a lot, the spiritual side could be more important. The communication during the wedding is easy, mature and open-minded. Again, many people from different countries and cultures, many people from different backgrounds too. It's a mix there lol. So, many translators can be present. People like that it's full of different cultures. With the 2H (taurus), a prenup contract can be sign. A spiritual or religious wedding too. There is a very warm communication here. People can be a bit shy with each other at first and then warm up. Many people can meet a lot of people. They can learn a lot. With the 19° (libra), def a prenup or a similar contract will be signed. Might be more spiritual than religious. It's divine union. A very fair, nice communication. Everyone respect each other. It's very balanced and I don't see a lot of arguments there, maybe none.

Venus in Aquarius 3H, 2°

-> Gifts they receive, how much money will they spend on it. Best part of the wedding + the aesthetic of the wedding, how the bride and groom will dress.

The Aquarius placement makes the natives feel like money doesn't matter much here. That they spent a lot or not, it's not important at all. They don't do everything to prove anything, they do it to make people feel comfortable. Humans before money. I guess the best part of the wedding will be how unique it is. People will love that. JK or his wife will dress in a unique way, or something unique about them. Maybe it's considered "unique" because the wife is foreigner? IDK! Don't forget the persona chart is on JK's POV. To him, marrying a foreigner is considered unique, that's may be why. Unique gifts lol! The less expected! The 3H (gemini) makes them spending money for the fun of it, in order for people having fun. This will be a very talkative, fun and open-minded wedding. People will love how fun it is. Laughing all the time. But it might be a wedding people gossip a lot about. The gifts will be interesting, fun, and stuff you can actually learn a lot with. Gifts related to traveling too. For the degree (taurus) it makes the couple appear so good looking, but because it's Aquarius it will be iconic look. Practical gifts or perfect for home. A very cozy and chill wedding. People will enjoy drinking, eating, talking to each other and dancing. A full pleasures wedding.

Mars in Aquarius 3H, 12°

-> Honeymoon and s3x, misunderstanding and disagreements about the wedding. House it’s placed in shows what the disagreements is about + what area of the wedding that most energy is dedicated to.

So I will be first taking about the misunderstandings and disagreements. I think the difference of culture will makes people confused. As it seems like JK will marry a foreigner, it's an international couple which makes the couple have more disagreements and misunderstandings about their habits. It can happen during the wedding too. It's part of the everyday life of an international couple. Being in the 3H, the communication and translation can be confusing sometimes. Aquarius also rules social medias, and being in the 3H, it can makes the wedding being revealed to the social medias in real time which will be a conflict. It can make also a lot of gossips about it. The 12° is under pisces, meaning the emotions can be confusing. Some people might not understand why other cry at certain moments. I think it's all part of the different backgrounds, different cultures and different countries. This is what create the most confusion.

Jupiter in Aquarius 3H, 22°

-> Best part of the wedding, Legal matters, are you signing a prenup for ex? Wedding linked to spirituality or religion? + in which area are you lucky with your wedding (the house is where it could manifest)

Like is said before, best part of the wedding will be the most unexpected things, or even the fact that it's a unique wedding. And again, because it's 3H, it will be fun and a wedding where people are laughing and talking a lot. People are just out there enjoying and being spontaneous. A bunch of humans having fun where all barriers are broken. Lucky for being a visionary wedding, this wedding will be iconic and maybe make a trend for other weddings. It can also break a barrier for marrying a foreigner, JK will maybe be one of the first Kpop idols still in the industry that does it. The luck could manifest in being a trend on social medias, people talk about it. Lucky because people talk about your wedding, your wedding are changing the world in a good way. Also with all these placements, it makes the wedding more spiritual but very down to earth style, not too spiritual that it might scared people. More rational spiritual type, I don't really see a vibe of a religious wedding. It might actually feel spiritual for them (the couple) but it's not a theme of the wedding. If it's a theme, it's very light. For the lucky part with the degree, lucky in the organization of the wedding, lucky with money, lucky with the public attention. The wedding will be famous for sure. The degree also makes the prenup very important for JK.

Saturn in Aries in 5H, 13°

-> Possible issues, worries and stress during the wedding + lessons learn during the wedding

Issues with fights, arguments can happen. It might be quick though, Aries makes things happen quick. The 13° is also an Aries degree, and the 5H is Leo house. In this case, it can be an argument or a fight that might happen during the wedding, a drama queen or a fight for stealing attention. For ex, the bride not being happy because someone showed up in white too (I wouldn't be happy either). Or a fight happening because the wedding is famous and people want to enter. Like fans or paparazzi. A lesson on not being impulsive, on waiting before speaking. Or talking before arguing.

Uranus in Aquarius 3H, 7°

->Where the wedding could be different: revolutionary.

Different because there is a lot of foreign things in the wedding: the bride, the place, etc... It's a visionary wedding, it will create a trend afterwards, many people will talk about it. It's a revolutionary love! A love that is unique and that will change many things.

Neptune in Capricorn 3H, 29°

-> How the wedding will be spiritually + illusions about it

The wedding will have a basic contract, even a prenup, but the spiritual side will not be the most obvious. But it's there. I feel like I repeat myself but man, Aquarius in 3H, how can I not lol. The illusions here are from JK's POV, because this is his Boda PC. If we consider this detail, that means that to him, the illusions during his wedding will maybe that people are cold towards each other, or that it's only intellectual people there. He will maybe scared that people are not willing to mix each other, or to make efforts. So he could have the illusions that it's actually this way. He could also have the illusion that people are not having as much fun and it seems.

Pluto in Sagittarius 1H, 6°

-> Where the wedding will be transformative

The wedding will be very transformative in a way that JK might live abroad after, or he will feel more of a stranger to who he was before. He will feel more mature, more open-minded and more of a foreigner. He will evolved in a very mature way. Because Pluto is in the 1H, it means the transformation really is about him, and not about his environment. He feel like a new person, his FS made him a better man. He feels like he may be a better person, he improved.

Groom in Aquarius 3H, 22°

-> How JK will be during the wedding, his POV

So, on his point of view, Jungkook will consider himself outstanding, unique, even visionary. He will feel like the first man to walk on the moon: no one ever did that before. He will feel like he is making the world evolved, like he is doing something truly amazing. He will just be himself and do whatever he wants, without caring about what people think. He will be very talkative, and open-minded. He will be very funny and witty. He will be a true romantic gentleman during the wedding, and will make sure his FS is treated like a queen. This placement also conjunct Jupiter exactly, which make me feel like JK will think of himself as very lucky.

Briede in Leo 9H, 6°

-> From JK's POV, how will be the Bride during the wedding

From Jungkook's point of view, his wife will be stunning, shining, the queen, the main character of the day. He will feel like he has to serve her, it's her day. She will be the sun in the room. He will think she is perfect and he will find her to be the most entertaining person in the room, very charismatic person. He will have eyes only for her (I'm melting as I'm writing). The 9H makes it obvious she is a foreigner, but she will outstanding to him. He will see her as philosophical and mature person, someone he can learn from. She will be very clean and well presented. He will see her glowing, there are no other words. She is healing him as he marries her. (and there im dying this is so fuc*ing cute)

Juno in Libra 11H, 5°

-> The feelings between the couple during the wedding from JK's POV

Love birds. Romeo and Juliet. Two soulmates marrying. They are just in their love bubble. Super romantic to each other, it will leave people in aww. It will be obvious they are in love. The 11H can make them appear as friends too, like friends who are in love. It's very cute because it means they are in love but they also talk and laugh, have fun like friends do. It's not only a romantic connection, it's a soul connection. They will have a lot of fun with each other, dance, laugh, have fun. It's their day and they are living it.

ASC (1H) in Scorpio, 17°

-> Jungkook's attitude during the wedding, his feelings, his actions and opinions + people’s first impression on the wedding

Jungkook might act shy, a bit reserved. He will be emotional, will feel so much passion for his wife, so much love. He might cry but might feel uncomfortable to do so, or will be shy about it. He might absolutely love to be physically close to his wife, always trying to touch her. He might look so good, mysterious, or just intimidating. Might wear black. He might also look so good people will envy his wife that day. Jealousy could happen? The degree makes that he looks lie a true king. He will maybe act extra sometimes, very romantic, cheesy, very fun and entertaining. He will enjoy being the star of the day with his Future spouse. For people's first impression on the wedding, it will look very intimate for such a wedding. Maybe people would expect more people to come, and it looks more intimate. They could find the couple very entertaining and like the main characters. The will find them so so so good looking. They will be glowing. People will be curious about the wedding, they will want to know a lot about it.

DSC (7H) in Taurus, 17°

-> Future Spouse feelings, thoughts, attitude and actions during the wedding. The guests, Legal matters, are you signing a prenup for ex? Wedding linked to spirituality or religion?

His future spouse will be very beautiful, very classy, charismatic. It's a true lady here. She will be glowing, so soft and so gentle. She just look like a Disney princess, almost perfect. She will look very feminine that day. The influence of the Leo degree will make her look like a sunlight, you will not miss her. It seems like people will have more their eyes on her than JK. Same as JK, she will act extra sometimes, very romantic, cheesy, very fun and entertaining. She will enjoy being the star of the day with JK. The guests will look very well dressed, elegant, and all will behave well. This will look like full of good looking people lol. People will have fun, and it will be a true party. It will be a traditional wedding with a contract.

MC (10H) in Leo, 24°

-> Reputation of the wedding, what people will mostly remember of it. How others see and what they think of your wedding? What do they talk the most about it?

A very famous wedding, people will have their eyes on it. When I told you people will talk about it a lot, I mean it. Very iconic. Like a royal wedding. The biggest event of the year. People will remember how fun it was, how beautiful, and they might even say to them "omg your wedding was so fun!" or "omg your wedding was so beautiful". It the type of wedding to make people feel like it was the best they attend so far, it would be hard to compete with it. It can make the wedding also be known for being romantic, many people will dream to have such wedding. People will say how cute, how they wish they have a wedding like this. Many people will make their wedding similar to this one after.

Houses

2H - Sagittarius

-> Gifts they will receive, how much money are they going to spend on it

The sagittarius placement there makes me feel like it will be gift that comes from foreign lands, or maybe offering a trip somewhere? It can also be some stuff to learn, or some funny stuff too. It's just gifts you wouldn't think of first. It seems like it depends on the people, but the money spent will not matter at all. JK and his wife will literally not care much about it. And even for their wedding, they will just make it all so people have fun and enjoy the day. Because Mercury is there, I wouldn't be surprised if JK offered a song to his FS.

3H - Capricorn

-> The guests, how others see and what they think of their wedding? What do they talk the most about it?

The stellium in this house is crazy. Guests will be very presentable, and good looking. They will be very well mannered, and respectful. It can also mean having guests who have money. They will think it's a well organized wedding, a very good looking and classy wedding. They will think it's a respectful union. It's the kind of wedding that makes you drop your mouth. It will look like an expensive wedding. They will think that JK finally is a man. Talking about money, about power, talking about JK and his FS, the wedding, love, etc. Since Aquarius is there too, they could also talk how unique it is. It can mean people will mix each other in during the wedding.

4H - Aquarius

-> Jk's parents’ opinions and feelings on the wedding

They might feel like it's not common for them. The wedding will leave them like they know nothing, they are strangers where they are. They will feel like they need to be open-minded. It's not a situation that makes them comfortable because it's not what they are used to. Pisces is there too, making them emotional and attached to the couple. They could find the ceremony romantic. The moon there represents JK's mom, making her the most emotional. She could be crying a lot or just very invested in the wedding.

5H - Pisces

-> Wedding Party

Romantic, dreamy. The party could happen near water, so maybe near ocean, sea, or a swimming pool will be there? People will be emotional. People can cry. It will go well like clear water. People are nice to each other, and are very compassionate. There aren't judge people.

8H - Gemini

-> Honeymoon & sex

Honeymoon will be full of laugh, fun memories, discoveries, and spontaneity. They can talk a lot about many things, talking is what will happen the most.

9H - Cancer

-> Jungkook's parents in law’s opinions and feelings on the wedding, legal matters, are you signing a prenup for example? Wedding linked to spirituality or religion?

Okay, his parents in law will love the wedding, they will think it's super romantic, and it feels very familiar to them, so it makes me feel like the wedding will be in their home country, so bis FS's home country. They will be very happy and emotional to be there. Because Briede asteroid is there, it makes me feel like they like JK but they are more happy for their daughter than anything else. They are more focused on her than JK. Leo is very strong also in this house, so they will be much more comfortable than JK's parents. They will feel very invested in the wedding, even to a point to make it more entertaining. Very extroverted and very fun lol.

11H - Virgo

-> The guests

Clean, well mannered, well presented, well put together, all seem perfect. They know what to do. Guests are a bit cold to each other at first. Since Libra is also in the 11H, that makes them be a bit more open and talkative afterwards. They will be very charismatic and enjoy their time at the wedding.

Thank you for reading!

back to index ; ask ; requests ; rules

#uyuans #jk #bts #jungkook #kpop #jungkook astrology #bts astrology #astrology #jk astrology #kpop astrology

[hlficlibrary]

HL Fic Library 🟠 1980's Fics

Remember to leave kudos and a comment on the fics you enjoyed to show your appreciation! You can find the library's other recs here.

⭐ We Were Such Fools by kiddle / @bluejeanlouis (M, 98k)

Rule #1: The Rewind Machine cannot be used to change the past, only to experience it. History will reset itself to the original timeline every 24 hours.

On his fiftieth birthday, two things are consuming Harry’s mind: what he’s going to make the kids for dinner tonight, and the fact that his marriage is crumbling at his feet.

So, when his best friend gifts him the trip of a lifetime, Harry chooses to venture off to the summer that set his life on its course—all the way back in 1987, California.

It only took him one summer to fall in love with his husband the first time around. How hard could starting all over really be?

⭐ modern love by prettyoddnjh (T, 72k)

It's August 9th, 1985. "Shout" by Tears for Fears is the top song on the Billboard charts, Back to the Future has been the #1 film in the country for five weeks straight, and Harry has just moved to what he thinks is probably the shittiest town in the Midwest.

Louis has been wasting away in East Chicago for over five years, Harry is the most exciting thing that's ever happened to him, and both of them are hiding a dangerous secret from their best friend: they're, like, totally sprung on each other.

⭐ The World Turned Upside Down by dogslpdi / @dogsliampaynedoesntinstagram (E, 71k)

In September 1984, Harry Styles starts at Manchester Polytechnic with two goals: to take pictures and to join the Lesbian and Gay Society. He’s never paid much attention to the news, but everyone he meets in Manchester supports the miners. He realises how right they are when he meets Louis Tomlinson, a striking miner who flirts with him. A month later they are both at the founding meeting of Manchester Lesbians and Gays Support the Miners, trying to bring down the government. Through letters and visits they build a relationship, in a world very much not of their own choosing.

Manchester and Doncaster in the 1980s are grim, hopeful and alive. Niall is president of the Young Labour club, Nick Grimshaw is in love with the singer of an up and coming band, Fizzy wants to know more about the women of Greenham Common and Harry and Louis are brave.

A Lesbians and Gays Support the Miners/Pride AU.

⭐ Among Lavender Fields by @homosociallyyours (E, 70k)

At twenty-one, Louis Tomlinson is more than ready to shed the girl next door image that's been with her since her entry into film in her childhood, but with a mother and father steeped in Hollywood tradition it's felt impossible. Meanwhile, Harry Styles is a young, struggling musician new to London, friendless yet eager for the next phase of her life to begin.

When French director Marie Coutard casts the two of them in her film, it's a chance for both to break away from the people they've been. Together, they struggle through an acting process that's new and unfamiliar for both of them, learning more than they could've imagined about themselves along the way. As they spend long days picking lavender and long nights sharing the things they've never been able to tell anyone else, their love blooms.

Will the flower fade, or will the love they make among lavender fields be one they carry with them to the end?

⭐ HL 80s nyc verse (series) by superglass (M, 51k)

He expects his usual warm welcome from Sue, always drying off a glass or cleaning the taps with a dirty rag. Instead, to his shock, a man is behind the bar, pouring a Whiskey Sour for a regular Harry always sees at this time of night. He’s no doubt his age; he can tell by the smoothness of his skin, the muscles in his biceps, the way his hair is swept back in a style not unlike a young James Dean, exemplifying the cut of his cheekbones and the sharpness at his jaw.

As he approaches the bar, quietly since he’s not wearing his shoes, he blurts it out— “Where’s Sue? Is she alright? She’s not dead, is she?”

The barkeep, wide-eyed at first but quickly growing amused, smiles at him, eyeing his dress, tousled wet hair and smudged makeup with a curl in his lip. “Darling,” he says, completely ignoring his question, “a leather jacket with a dress like that? Are you mad?”

or In the midst of the AIDS crisis, Harry meets Louis after coming home from a drag ball. 80s NYC au.

⭐ what this world is about by isntrio / @bloubird (E, 34k)

An eighties American high school AU; there are first times, football games, and feelings.

Alternatively titled: the beginning.

⭐ What Happened to 'Never Say Die'? by kiddle / @bluejeanlouis (T, 28k)

The ‘80s were one of the best decades to be a teenager in America. Just ask anyone who's seen a John Hughes movie. Louis would beg to differ. At least today he would, while he was stuck cleaning out his family's basement - part of his grounding after a senior prank gone wrong. But when he finds a box containing details of the biggest unsolved crime in Luna Hills, he and his friends decide to sneak out for one last adventure before they're all off to college. That is, as long as the mayor, who also happens to be Louis' mother, doesn't stop them before they discover the truth.

Or, a coming of age American AU inspired by classic ‘80s movies like The Goonies and Stand By Me where everyone has a secret and no one wants to get caught.

⭐ Never Meant to Be So Bad to You by harriblou (M, 27k)

Louis hated Harry and his stupid confidence and his handsome face and his deep voice and his stupid jeans and his stupid smile and his stupid existence. He hated Harry, always had and always will. They’d never gotten along and Louis wasn’t sure how it started, but he knows that Harry was put onto this earth to bug the hell out of Louis. Being trapped inside of an arcade with him was hell and it hadn't been a full minute.

or the 80's Arcade AU that no one asked for about how louis and harry hate each other (not really) and have an intense rivalry over video games. featuring liam niall and zayn as the friends who help them sort themselves out.

⭐ Lean On My Shoulder (I See Myself With You) by Jennifer_Kaid / @poetsreprieve (E, 19k)

Speaking of the views, there was someone on his balcony. The sun was still setting, making this person look even more ethereal. They seemed to be at content at being alone. Harry watched as they watered the plants, they certainly didn't look like they were amongst the help.

Curiosity got the best of him and he decided to invade this stranger's quiet time; the Prince could be selfish sometimes.

"When you love something, you help them grow."

⭐ enter exit (enter) by @louisandthealien (M, 17k)

When he’s finally in the hotel, crammed into the tiny phone booth, all he can do is stare at the faded paper sign glaring down at him from the wall.

1 Minute = 11.82 USD Mexico --> United States

He has less than a minute to break his boyfriend’s heart, and it’s going to cost him twelve bucks to do it.

There’s sand under his fingernails as he dials the number.

⭐ after hours by @muldxr (E, 16k)

Harry moves like lightning as he slides the books off the shelves into the open, waiting abyss of his bag. Then, as Louis clears the other end of the exhibit just as quickly, he moves on to the display case next to it and the one after that. One flimsy book practically flies open as he picks it up, the paper held together by feeble strings on the spine. He leaves it behind. Not worth selling.

Or, a crime au set in 1980s Chicago.

⭐ honey, honey by resurrectdead / @artxghoul (E, 13k)

It just feels weird to not be able to tell his own mum about how nervous yet over the fucking moon happy he is right now, because this tape isn’t for neither Niall nor Liam. It’s for, well.It’s for Harry bloody Styles. The boy that makes his insides feel like sunshine.

Or: It’s 1988, and Louis has to make a mixtape for Harry

⭐ Haunting Beauty by 4ureyesonly28 / @evilovesyou (G, 6k)

It’s 1988. Harry has just finished his first year of teaching English and looks forward to a relaxed break. Louis is a poltergeist and has different plans for Harry’s summer.

⭐ the sound of my heart needs the sound of another heart by momentofclarity / @gaycousinlarry (G, 2k)

In the summer of '83, Louis is fifteen years old and in love.

⭐ Glad to be Gay by Stria / @nooradeservedbetter (T, 2k)

It's the same old story all over the world When a boy meets a boy and a girl meets a girl We all come together cos we're happy to say It's a natural fact that it's good to be gay

[Or, it's the 80s. Harry and Louis are together.]

#hljournal #hlcreators #trackinghappily #trackinghome #1dficvillage #hlsource #hltracks #stria #momentofclarity #4ureyesonly28 #resurrectdead #muldxr #louisandthealien #jenniferkaid #kiddle #isntrio #superglass #homosociallyyours #dogslpdi #prettyoddnjh

[everlastingmooncoven]

Lesson #1: Introduction to Magic

Witchcraft vs. Wicca vs. Paganism:

Paganism is a religion as well as an umbrella term to describe different religions. In the past, it was seen as anyone who wasn’t a Christian. Currently, a lot of practices and religions fall under the category of Pagan. No witchcraft or certain practices are required to be Pagan. Most Pagans do believe in the circles of life and death, with a strong connection to nature.

Wicca is a religion that usually involves witchcraft but not always. It was founded in 1954 by Gerald Garner and involves documents and beliefs such as the Wiccan Rede and the Harm None laws. The Wiccan religion falls under Paganism.

Witchcraft is a practice, not a religion. It can be used inside and outside of religious practices. There are many branches of The Craft, including Green Witchcraft and Cosmic Witchcraft.

Different Paths:

Not all Alchemists are witches, but Alchemy can be paired with the Craft.

Angelic Witches work closely with Angels in their practice.

A Celtic Witch would be a witch who follows the traditions and rituals of the Celtic religion. They may work with or worship Celtic deities and read Celtic myths, legends, and history. This could also include working with the fae, but it’s not required.

In a Ceremonial Witch's practice, it’s all focused on the sacred ceremonies and rituals of witchcraft. It’s more intricate than everyday magic.

Cosmic/Celestial Witches are the astrologers. Focused on the moon, sun, star, and planet cycles, zodiac signs and birth charts are their specialty. They use the energies from the cycles of the universe to fuel their spell work. Lunar Witches and Solar Witches would fall in this category, as their focus is mostly towards the phases of the moon or the sun.

Coven Witches are a part of a coven, this would include a high priest, or priestess along with members of a coven. They bring their powers together to cast spells and do rituals together.

Crystal Witches are all about the use of crystals and gems. Creating crystal grids, understanding the power of their properties, and using that power to manifest or attract the energies that the witch is trying to bring in their craft.

When it comes to Eclectic Witches they are a hit or miss. They mix and match their own practice from other religions or branches of witchcraft. That can be a good thing and a bad thing. You can make your practice your own and not be tied down to one thing. However, if you are taking from closed practices or taking from spaces where you aren’t welcomed then that is never okay. No matter what branch you practice.

A Death Witch is someone who works with the dead, or practices necromancy. This can also include helping them cross to the other side, honoring the dead in rituals, or helping people through periods of mourning their loved ones. Death deities such as Hel (Norse Goddess of Death) or Hades (Greek King of the Underworld) may be some deities a death witch might be interested in working with.

Demonologists are people who study, work with, or worship Demons and include them into their Craft.

Divination Witches are usually your psychics. They work with tools such as tarot or oracle cards, palm readings, pendulums, runes, etc. They can show the future or receive messages from the other side or from your guides.

Draconian Witches are people who work with Dragons. It is a very intricate path that isn’t made for everyone. You may approach dragons, but when it comes time dragons may or may not choose you.

Elemental Witches use the power of the elements in their practices. Earth, Air, Fire, Water, and sometimes the fifth element known as the Spirit or Either. Through bonding with the elements, she’s able to call on them in her practice. This could also be broken down by Fire Witches, who connect mostly with Fire elements. Water Witches also could fall under Sea Witchcraft. Air Witches could include playing instruments, listening to music, or singing in their practice. And Earth Witches could be classified as a Green or Plant Witch.

Fae Witches are those who work with the Fae in their craft. This is usually paired with the Celtic pantheon, but not always.

A Folk Witch can be hereditary, but not always. They include practices that are either passed down from family members, or their community. They use their ethnicities and the origins of their ancestors in their practices. Sometimes they can be closed practices, sometimes they are just not shared with people outside of those communities.

Gray Witches practice both the left-hand path (black magic) of the right-hand path (white magic). What kind of magic they practice depends on the situation.

Green Witches are all about nature, they use herbology, healing, gardening, and plant magic in witchcraft. They prefer to be outside and in nature, especially when doing their craft. Plant Witches are in a subcategory of Green Witchcraft whose main focus is plants.

Both Hearth Witches and House/Cottage Witches overlap when it comes to how they practice. They are both focused on making their home peaceful and full of magic. This can include candle magic, kitchen witchery, house rituals, etc.

A Hedge Witch is similar to an eclectic witch. But hedge witches are more focused on herbology, elements, astral protection, auras, and nature.

A Hellenic Witch is someone who works with or worships the ancient Greek or Roman deities. They perform rites and give offerings that were presented to the deities long ago.

Hereditary Witches are people whose family practices witchcraft. Power or certain practices are passed through their family line.

Kitchen Witches incorporate magic into their food or drink. They understand the properties that certain foods or herbs have and are able to pair them together to create a delicious, magical-filled dish or drink.

Sea Witches have a strong connection to the ocean. They can incorporate water, seashells, sand, and moon phases in their practices. Any body of water will do, you don’t have to live near any ocean to do sea magic. Lakes, rivers, or any natural body of water will do. They can also work with water spirits, such as mermaids.

Sex Witches use sexual acts and sexual energy to enhance their rituals. This can be done alone or with consenting partners.

A Solitary Witch practices alone or without a coven. They can be any type of Witch.

A Traditional Witch can be a hereditary, a folk, or a ceremonial witch. Any kind of practice that follows a long-standing tradition.

Wiccan Witch follows the Wiccan Rede and the Harm None laws, within their practice. They can include almost any other branch of witchcraft as well. They worship a God and Goddess as the masculine and feminine energies, and love and respect nature.

These are just a handful of witches that are out there, I know I missed many of them. Feel free to mix and match titles or have no title at all. It’s whatever you are most comfortable with and what you have a connection to the most.

Altars:

Altars are prominent in most religions; they are concentrated, personal, and sacred spaces meant for worship, spell castings, honoring ancestors, celebrating holidays and more. They can be simple and hidden, large and extravagant or anything in between. It should be created to please you and no one else.

The arrangement of tools on the altar can vary to each person, there is a basic outline, but you’re not required to follow it. When picking out the tools and decorations make sure you don’t choose random items that might clutter your altar. No matter how big or small your space is, you don’t want a messy place to work in; so make sure everything has a meaning or purpose.

Altars can also come in any aesthetic that you enjoy; some choose a very traditional altar, while others love a modern take on things. They can also be based around an element, deity, crystal, or even your favorite color.

There are so many ways you can present your altar, but as long as you make it your own precious space then the sky's the limit!

Witchcraft Tools:

A Book of Shadows, Grimoire, or another Spell Book can be anything you wish it to be, from a simple notebook, a file on your computer, or a fancy leather-bound book. No matter what it is, always keep it nearby when you are casting; you never know when you might need to jot something down or need a reference.

A Pentagram or Pentacle can be sat in the center of an altar, or worn on a necklace. It represents the five elements and can be used for protection.

Divination Tools would also be kept on your altar or nearby if you are doing spellwork. Whether it be tarot or oracle cards, pendulums, runes, tea leaves, or a crystal ball.

Photos or Statues are great ways to honor your ancestors and loved ones who have passed on (including pets!). You can add photos, notes, and other offerings on your altar as a way to honor them and call upon them. You can also add photos and statues of your guides or deities to dedicate a space to them.

Athames are beautifully crafted knives meant for spell casting or energy channeling only. They are usually not meant for cooking or other purposes.

Wands are created for energy channeling and circle casting, they can be made out of wood, crystal, metal, or glass. You can also craft your own and add crystals, charms, or other decorations to personalize it.

Candles can be used for multiple things. It can represent the element of fire and air, can represent a space for deities or ancestors, or for simple color magic. It’s good to have multiple colors and sizes, but white is usually a good substitute. You could also use birthday candles for spells that have to melt all the way down but you don’t want to wait or leave a burning candle unattended.

For the Earth Element anything that comes from the Earth naturally such as dirt, sand, flowers, leaves, certain herbs, sticks, crystals, rocks, etc can be used to represent the Earth element and be used in many ways.

Cauldrons or other heatproof bowls would be needed for making potions, burning herbs, casting spells, or scrying.

A Chalice could represent the Moon Goddess and the element of water; a chalice can hold water, wine, or other offerings. It can also be used for fertility rituals and spells.

Feathers represent the elements of air, they can be nice offerings for certain spirits, guides, or deities or be used for waving away negative energies.

Bells can represent the air element and are known for cleansing a space of negative energies to leave a peaceful feeling environment.

Each Herb, Plant, or Flower has different properties, each being unique and special. With that being said, some ingredients can be very dangerous and harmful to handle if you are unfamiliar with them; so always proceed with caution when using unknown herbs. And make sure to keep poisonous ones away from your furry or scaly friends and curious children!

Incense not only smells lovely, but they represent the elements of air and fire. They are wonderful for cleansing and each scent has its own special property.

Waters from ocean, lake, rain, storm, tap, or even bottled water can represent the water element; each can be used in a different way in a spell. But also can be used for cleansing yourself or your tools.

Poppets are very powerful tools that can be used for causing harm to enemies, initiating protection around a household, or casting a blessing on those closest to you.

Crystals are helpful for healing, protection, peace, and many other things. They are gorgeous pieces for offerings, or to just keep on your altar or in your car.

Pouches, Boxes, and Jars are a very simple way to hold any spell that you create, usually kept with the person it was made for, buried in the ground, on your altar. It can contain anything from blessings to curses.

Book of Shadows:

1. Create your own spellbooks:

Decide if you are going to have a physical book or binder or if you want a digital book, which could be left online or if you are going to print it out. Figure out the style, do you want traditional, cute, full of stickers, dried herbs or plants included, add artwork. Make it your own. You don’t have to call your spellbook the typical names, you can name your book anything you want. If you work with Spirits, Book of the Dead. If you work with the water element, Storm Book or Way of the Waters. Or sometimes more traditional like The Book of Ways. You can be creative when naming your Grimoire if you want. You can also have more than one spellbook for different tasks or information.

2. Layouts:

The layout of your book is unique to you. Personally, I tend to group similar things together. But here are things you can add to your book.

Some type of index to keep your book organized. You could also include a glossary of common-use terms or phrases.

A book blessing, protection sigils, and/or book dedications.

Your personal correspondences such as astrology charts, what type of path you practice, coven meetings (if you’re involved in one), information about the deities or guides you work with, and favorite divination methods. You could also add your favorite crystals, colors, herbs, flowers, etc.

Basic information about magic. Tools used in your craft, how to make sigils, cleansing, protection, correspondences about crystals, herbs, incense, aromatherapy, etc.

Animal correspondences, what it means when you see certain animals. This could also include familiar work, or any animal guides you work with.

Moon, sun, and planet phases. This can also include constellations, zodiac signs, birth charts, and how to read them.

The Wheel of the Year, any holidays or sabbats that you celebrate and how to celebrate them. This could also include days of the week correspondences and time correspondences.

You can add recipes that you make for offerings or holidays or even have a spellbook be a cookbook instead if you are a kitchen witch or just love cooking.

Any rituals or spells that you perform, what it is, when you cast them, the herbs or crystals you use, what the moon or sun phase was, the phrases you said, what the results were, and if you would change anything.

Divination tools that you use, the meaning behind tarot cards or runes, etc. And you can keep a journal track of when you do any kind of divination, the questions you asked and the answers you received.

History of magic, the path you practice, the deities or guides you work with. Folklore or myths from certain areas that you are interested in.

Lists of deities or guides from the pantheon(s) or groups that you’re involved in.

Different psychic abilities and keeping track of your meditation progress, dreams, affirmations, yoga, and any other energy workings that you do.

Any mythical beings (mermaids, dragons, fae, etc) that you work with and information about them. How you work with them, favorite offerings, spellwork that they’ve helped you with, etc.

Covens:

Covens are usually made up of 13 members that come together to practice Magick or celebrate a Sabbath together. They are normally very private groups that use their energies to reach a common goal or need.

Some Witches prefer Covens rather than solitary because you are able to learn and grow from the other members that you surround yourself with. If you are open with your practices then there can be a lot of backlash from non-pagans who don’t understand or accept your beliefs; so it’s always nice to have like-minded individuals in your life who you can communicate and socialize with.

However, if you are wanting to practice in solitude then that is completely up to you and your personal path. There is nothing wrong with not joining a Coven if your heart says no.

#crystals #witchcraft #spells #introduction to witchcraft #witchcraft lessons #everlasting moon coven #witchcraft tools #types of witches #covens #Wicca #pagans of tumblr #pagan #witches of tumblr

[yunhohours]

hii can u do a astrology post like u did for mingyu on svt’s vernon? thamk u so much!!

I'm on it <3

The overall vibe I'm getting from Vernon's chart is that no one would ever love you as deeply and completely as Vernon loves you. Now I'll break that down.

Starting with the type of person Vernon would be attracted to... it's honestly not something I can tell you because I don't believe he has a "type" by any stretch of the imagination. He can be attracted to x part of one person and the complete opposite in someone else. He doesn't have a mental checklist (not even an unconscious one) of things he's looking for. He's not likely to care much about appearance, either, at least not more than the average person. It's literally all ~vibes~ with Vernon. If he feels good around you, that's all he needs to know. That being said, there are a few things that may push him away, but these are pretty common dealbreakers for most people: making him feel insecure, pressuring him to do things he's not comfortable with/doesn't want to do, expecting him to be any way other than he naturally is. The only thing he needs to feel with someone is security. But don't let that small requirement fool you: it's an extremely important one. You will not get anywhere with him if he doesn't feel that he can trust you.

As far as pursuit, Vernon is not going to pursue anyone in an obvious way. There are some conflicting energies in his chart, but they result in a less direct approach. His scorpio moon keeps most things to himself and his pisces mars is very passive. His capricorn venus is not interested in the "chase," but his scorpio moon is excellent at patiently going after what he wants. So I see this manifesting as him maintaining consistent contact with you (a big deal for his aquarius sun/mercury!) as much as he is able and being extremely supportive and sweet with you. He may be a bit spacey and forget to text back sometimes, but when he does, it's something so precious or thoughtful that you can't help but welcome him back with open arms. He doesn't talk about himself much (scorpio moon), but he will listen to you talk about yourself all day long and provide considered feedback. He'll make you feel seen, heard, and accepted. He may even say something really cheesy sometimes because he wears his heart on his sleeve (pisces mars), but all of this happens without him directly telling you how he feels about you (scorpio moon being careful). You'll probably have to drag it out of him. Sweet boy.

In a relationship, I can't imagine a love as beautiful as Vernon's. Genuinely. Once he has decided that you are someone he can fully trust and open up to (i cannot stress enough how important this is for his scorpio moon specifically), he will offer you all of himself. In fact, he has the innate urge to merge with you, to become one. He always wants to be closer. He doesn't express this in a clingy way, though. It's a bit hard to explain, but he seeks this through deep conversations (no topic is off limits), sharing the deepest and darkest parts of yourselves, and even through sex. There is almost nothing you could say to him that he would judge you for. He will accept you for everything that you are and love the parts of yourself that you hate that much more to make up for it. He sees you through rose-colored glasses without pretending that you have no flaws. He is highly tolerant and almost never fights with you. He puts you and your needs above everything else, including himself. Please make sure to encourage him to take care of himself and take care of him yourself, too! He will potentially self-forget to the point of self-neglect in your favor. We don't want that. Make sure to encourage and support his creative outlets as they are very important to him. He will still come across as spacey or detached sometimes (aquarius sun/mercury, scorpio moon), but he never is. He's just in his own head (probably even thinking about something to do with you). When he checks back into reality, his focus will immediately turn to you, whether you're actively seeking his attention or not.

This is the part where I dispel the myth that aquarius and capricorn placements are cold or detached. They may seem that way at first, but when they truly love someone, they love them with all their heart.

Okay, sex talk! As I mentioned before, sex is likely to be a big bonding experience for Vernon. He's probably not a highly sexual personal imo, at least not when it comes to sex just for the sake of it. For him, it's about being closer to the person he loves. He wants to feel your bodies merge in the way he imagines your souls do. When they say that sex can be a spiritual thing for pisces mars, I really believe that. Pisces mars is also the least assertive mars placement, so Vernon is not likely to be the initiator most of the time. Sex is probably something that just... happens in the midst of being together. Sex is more about intimacy than anything for him. However, His emotions can suddenly run high sometimes and sex can be a good way to soothe him.

To sum it all up, I just think that being loved by Vernon would feel like being the most adored person on planet earth. He might just be one of the most special humans out there.

#th: vernon #th: svt #seventeen smut #svt smut #vernon smut #svt fluff #seventeen fluff #vernon fluff

[five-crows-in-a-trenchcoat]

Can u tell more about Tangelo's, Pardalote's, Miu's, and Suvi's personalities and their relationship (like how they know each other (if they do), and what's the dynamic between them like)? ^_^

Sure can!

I made a little bit of a non-spoilery relationship chart for the basics of what they all think of each other

In terms of personality, here’s a summary for tangelo and suvi under the cut bc it’s kinda long.

Tangelo:

She’s a very chaotic and messy person and a master procrastinator, but generally very cheery and positive. She remembers every small thing anyone has ever done for her and cherishes everything. She grew a pot full of just plain regular grass because she’d never seen it before and thought it was amazing. She’s a very hands-on person and likes trying lots of different things, as she gets bored doing the same thing over and over and struggles paying attention. As long as she’s having fun, she doesn’t care if she isn’t very good at whatever she’s doing.

She hates anything ‘perfect’ or organised, and if she gets something brand new she usually dents it or sun-bleaches it to give it character because she finds things ‘heartless’ if they’re left untouched. She prefers hand-me-down clothing rather than new stuff because it has the air of something that’s been loved. She loves whimsical things, music, and bright colours.

Suvi was the first person to ever really give a shit about her so she’s very attached to him; not only because he cares about her, but because he’s very willing to encourage her endeavours rather than just say it’s a stupid idea. She does most things on a whim and doesn’t ever really plan things, but she’s willing to follow the plans of someone she likes spending time with.

Because of where she came from originally, she doesn’t know what laws are, so has no concept of things like trespassing because she’s used to just going wherever. The only ‘law’ Tangelo follows is the justice she philosophies in herself (and what Suvi thinks as well). She’s got a lot of old scars along her arms from fighting because of it. She wields a stop sign with ‘never’ spray painted on it so it reads ‘never stop’ which she thought was very clever, and it’s pretty much the only thing she carried over from her original world.

In the words of Outside by Bill Wurtz; ‘I can’t go back to where I come from, cuz im not *welcome*, and it’s not *fun* there.’ (She probably relates a lot to that song)

Suvi:

Saying too much abt his past would be pretty spoiler-y (same with Miu and Pardalote) but like Tangelo he’s been lonely and starved for affection for a long time. Regardless to say, he’s happy to have a new little sister. He’s also quite a tactile person, but due to the fact that he’s blind that’s pretty to-be-expected. He’s got some chickens that tangelo doesn’t like, and grows a bunch of fruits n grains n vegetables. He’s got a beautiful plum tree so he makes a lot of jams and plum pie which tangelo is a MASSIVE FAN OF. He likes carving into things too, and he can sell those at markets too, and teaches tangelo how to make stuff as well.

After being blinded, Suvi no longer cares about his own safety, so he only wears what’s comfortable, even when operating machinery he really shouldn’t. He’s a talented cook though, and despite his short and wiry stature from malnutrition growing up, he’s surprisingly strong from climbing and manual work in the gardens.

He has a bad history with dogs, so instead of a guide dog he has a temperamental albino lynx named May (short for Mayonnaise). She certainly makes sure nobody takes advantage of him.

Suvi likes to sit outside in the rain a lot, but he gets quite sick when the air gets dry in the middle of winter or the middle of summer. He usually makes lots of soup in advance.

I don’t wanna bother too many people with a post that goes on forever so I’ll post some stuff abt Pardalote and Miu tomorrow :> however I do love all these asks, it makes me very happy to see someone take interest!

#tangelo and the thousand disasters of kerukioi #tangelo and the thousand disasters #tattdok #tangelo tattdok #suvi tattdok #miu hommeruku #miu tattdok #pardalote hommeruku #pardalote remirr #pardalote tattdok

[trulymadlysydney]

Wait For Me in the Sky: Eleven

“I’m gonna go now,” she says quietly, after a long pause.  She sniffs again.  “I’m sorry.  I..  I promise I didn’t call you just to make you listen to me cry.”

And how can Harry tell her that he would sit and listen to her cry for hours, just to have the chance to be talking to her again?

“It’s okay,” he says, his voice cracking slightly.  “I am glad you called.”

“You don’t have to call me ever again after this, Harry.  I didn’t mean to stir up old shit, or--”

“Hey.  I want to.  Having you in my life is enough.  Okay?  Just having you in my life again is more than enough for me.”

Mars laughs, almost out of disbelief and sounding somewhat relieved.  “Yeah,” she says, voice still wet.  “Yeah I agree.”

“Get some sleep, love.”  Harry doesn’t want to be telling her that.  He wants to keep talking to her, until he knows she’s done crying.  “You have to get to Dallas in five hours.’

Mars laughs.  “I don’t think I’m going to be able to sleep at this point.”

“Just try,” Harry encourages.  “A little is better than nothing.”

“Yeah,” Mars agrees, slowly.  “Okay.”

***DO NOT REPOST WITHOUT PERMISSION***

(as a quick side note, this chapter contains elements of like.. kind of sexual harassment about halfway through. It's nothing too graphic, but just know that it's there!)

Get all caught up HERE

HARRY

February 26th, 2020

“Harry, you’re on in ten.”

Harry looks up from his phone, smiling as politely as he can manage at the woman with a clipboard.  Normally he’s quite good at remembering names, however he cannot for the life of him remember hers  Although, to be fair, he has quite a lot on his mind.  He clicks his home button off and shoves his phone into his bag on the table.  “Thanks,” he says.

He really should be more enthusiastic than he is.

“Are you excited?” Glenne pipes up from her corner of the room, setting her own phone down on the table. 

Harry smiles at her, quirking his eyebrows up playfully.  “Nervous,” he teases.

Glenne rolls her eyes, rising to her feet and making her way over to Harry.   “Oh please,” she says.  She lightly adjusts the lapel of his suit, straightening out the invisible creases she sees. “You’re not nervous at all.”

Harry chuckles. “I am, too,” he says, although Glenne is right.  Sure, he’s got a bit of pre-show jitters.  But honestly, he’s just excited to get back out there.  To forget everything that's on his mind.

For the first time in ages, he is 100% completely alone; which sounds more dramatic than it is.  He hadn’t gone back to Nicole after Mars had left him that night in Saint Thomas. In fact, he’d blocked her on everything-- from both his regular instagram and his burner account.   It had felt right, although he knew that it wasn’t going to bring Mars back to him.  He knew Mars wasn’t going to want to hear from him again-- probably ever-- so in truth, he was blocking Nicole as more of a way to heal himself.

And it had worked in the exact way he’d wanted it to.  He’d started focusing more on himself, on his album.  Working out the details of his upcoming tour, scheduling promo interviews and rehearsing for a completely choreography-based music video-- somewhat out of his comfort zone but a thrilling challenge nonetheless. He could feel himself doing better without the constant cloud that was Nicole looming over his head.

Except it welcomed room for another looming thought-- one that weighed heavy on his heart with every passing day.

At its best, it had just been a lingering little ache in his brain throughout his days.  Seeing a small flower on the sidewalk that he knows Mars’ would have loved to receive a picture of, or hearing a song on the radio that he’s certain Mars’ would’ve shared with him months before it made its way to the charts. 

But at its worst, it was nasty.  It was self-deprecating.  It was a constant nagging voice in his head-- a reminder that he fucked up.  He found someone who meant more to him than anyone in the world and he lost her.  That was on him.  And he hated himself for it. 

With every passing day, he’d tried focusing on other things.  And sometimes, that was all he’d needed.  Sometimes, in fact, he’d been too busy to even think much about his personal life-- what with album promo and music video filming and everything in between.  But it had always been there, picking at the back of his brain until it manifested itself physically into a migraine.

And it’s here today; just not loud and in his face like it is some days.  Just quietly there, like a dark gray rain cloud threatening to unleash its fury on him at any second.

“You’re going to do great.”  Glenne’s voice pulls Harry from his thoughts.  

He smiles at her.  “Yeah?”

“Mm.”  Glenne studies him for a moment, lips curving slowly into the subtlest frown as her eyes narrow ever so slightly.  Harry knows that look.  Harry hates that look.

“What?” he asks, although he knows what she’s going to say.

“What’s going on in your brain right now?”  She takes a step towards him. “You’re off.”

Harry hates how well his friends know him.  “I’m not off,” he lies.  

“You are.  We don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to, but…” She lowers her voice. “Nicole?”

“Fucks sake,” Harry groans.  “No, it’s not Nicole.  How many times do I--”

“I know, I know!” Glenne puts her hands up defensively.  “I’m sorry.  It’s just… she had a knack for popping up at the worst times and I--”

“It’s not Nicole,” Harry says, definitively.  “Nicole is long gone.  I know you don’t believe me, but she is.  And she has been for a while.”

Glenne softens the slightest bit.  “It’s not that I don’t believe you, Harry.”

They stand in silence, Harry realizing that he’s snapped at her unnecessarily, and he sighs.  “Sorry.  It’s--”

“Mars.”  Glenne finishes his sentence for him before he can.  She offers him the faintest, most sympathetic yet all-knowing smile.  “It is, isn’t it?”

Harry freezes, licking his lips and considering his words.  Glenne steps towards him gently.  “Have you spoken to her?”

“No,” Harry says.  “I haven’t.”

“Have you thought about--”

“No.”  His tone is a bit more pointed.  “I haven’t.”

Glenne eyes him before letting out a sigh, shoulders dropping.  “But don’t you think--”

“I love you Glenne, but I don’t want to do this right now.  Not right before a show.  Genuinely.”

Glenne turns to Jeff, who Harry realizes has been watching from his spot on the couch this entire time.  Jeff glances nervously from Glenne to Harry, as if only just now realizing that he may have to say something.  He clears his throat.  “Maybe this isn’t the time,” he admits, “but I think it bears saying that we’re… concerned.”

Harry rolls his eyes.  “So you’re choosing now to bring this up?”

Glenne groans.  “I’m sorry!” she says.  “I shouldn’t have… it’s just--”

“You’re not the same, Harry,”  Jeff says, coming to Glenne’s rescue and annoying the shit out of Harry.  

“I just--”

‘And we don’t have to talk about it any longer if you don’t want to.”  Jeff rises to his feet and continues speaking.  “I get it.  It’s a sensitive spot.  It’s just that… I dunno, man.  You’re not you.”

Harry wants to say something defensive back, but he squashes it in his throat because, deep down, he knows they’re right.  He lets out all of his breath in a sigh, glancing between his two best friends.  “Have you spoken to her?”

Both men’s eyes fall on Glenne, and she squirms in place.  “A little,” she admits.  “Not like, frequently or anything.  It’s been a minute.  But--”

“And?” Harry asks, quicker than intended.  “Is she alright?”

Glenne glances nervously between Jeff and Harry, as if unsure how to answer the question (or if she even should answer it).  “I mean,” she starts slowly,  “from what I gather she’s alright.”

Harry chuckles quietly.  “Of course she is,” he says with a shrug.  “No reason not to be.”

“But that doesn’t mean--”

“Look,” Harry says.  “I love you guys.  I do.  But the Mars chapter of my life is closed.  It’s not going to be reopened.”

“Fine, it’s closed,” Jeff cuts in again.  “I understand, man.  Trust me.  But something does have to change.  We’re worried about you.”

“And what exactly should change?”  Harry shakes his head.  “I appreciate the concern, but there’s really nothing any of us can do, is there?”

The silence between the three is thick following Harry’s words, and Glenne is the first to break it by clearing her throat.  “I didn’t mean to turn this into such a big deal.”

Harry lets out a long, slow breath from his nose, his blood pressure rising.  “It’s not,” he says.  “Not a big deal.  Sorry, it’s… I didn’t mean to respond like--”

“It’s okay,” Jeff says.  “I’m sorry we brought this up now.”

The three friends glance between one another, waiting to see who’s going to be the first to speak again.   Harry shrugs.  “Look, I appreciate it,” he says slowly.  “Genuinely.  I’m sorry.  I just… I don’t think it’s something I’m ready to talk about.”

“Understandable,” Jeff says.  “Seriously.”

“But I do appreciate the concern and I’ll… try and see if I can maybe… change something.  I don’t know.”

“We love you,” Jeff replies,  “and we hate seeing you like this.”

Harry nods, feeling like a dog with his tail tucked between his legs.   “I know.”

Jeff grabs Harry’s shoulder supportively.  No more words are exchanged, but the squeeze Jeff gives Harry’s shoulder is enough.  He gently nudges him on his way with a nod.

Harry turns to leave, then stops.  “Glenne, I-- if you do talk to her, could you let her know I--” He trails off, then shakes his head.  “Sorry.  God. Stupid.  Nevermind.”

“It’s not stupid!” Glenne says, as encouragingly as she can manage.  “I just think… maybe, anything you might want to tell her may be better received if it’s coming from you?”

Harry chews the inside of his cheek.  She’s right… but god, he wishes she wasn’t.

“She’s right,” Jeff pipes up again.  Of course he does.   

Harry says nothing.  Jeff adds, “Just think about it.”

Just think about it, he says.  As if Harry has done anything but.

Harry clears his throat and nods in finality before making his way to the exit of the building.  He can already hear the screams of the crowd in Rockefeller Plaza before he even reaches the door, and he knows they’re about to get much louder.  

He wonders if Mars is watching on a television of her own wherever she is in the world, and then he hates himself for entertaining that thought. 

Of course she’s not.  She’s busy. 

He pushes open the door to Rockefeller Center, unable to hide the smile on his face the moment he hears everyone’s screams increase in volume.  It’s like a switch flips in his brain; like he’s no longer Harry, now he’s Harry Styles.  

It’s an incredible feeling, to find that balance between who he is and who he shares with those who consider themselves fans of his.  Of course it’s all him, and he tries-- genuinely-- to bring his most authentic self to the forefront of everything he does.  And it works, for the most part.  But still, it's nice sometimes to flip that switch.  To become the person that he absolutely in no way feels like he is right now.  To forget, however temporarily, the Harry that lost someone who just might have been the love of his life and remember that he’s the Harry who just released an album that these people are here for. 

And so, he becomes that Harry in his entirety.  He plays for these people, he teases them, he holds professional yet playful interviews and watches amusedly as a fan loses her ever loving mind over simply winning tickets to see him.  He tries to ignore the way his pink suit clings to his skin in the humidity, and he can feel his curls-- which have been perfectly styled-- become frizzy with the rain.  He is as professional as possible, but he is so acutely aware of everything going on around him right now and how, still, the only thing he wants to see is Mars’ face.

Every now and then he catches sight of Jeff, Glenne, and other members of his team watching him fondly from the sidelines.  They’re all smiling, dancing along with his performance, and the smiles they give him fill him with relief-- they haven’t caught on to how weirdly out of body he’s feeling right now. 

The entire affair is over in the blink of an eye, and it isn’t long before Harry finds himself alone in the silence of a makeshift dressing room.  

Moments like this are often odd to Harry.  They don’t come often, but still-- he is no stranger to them.  Especially this past month and a half.  They’re the moments where he’s left with insane adrenaline coursing through his body, a flood of serotonin directly to his brain that only comes from performing.  Never in his life has he gotten this same feeling from anything else. There is no high like the high after a performance, and Harry knows that firsthand.

However, when paired with heartache and a healthy dose of loneliness (garnished with a pinch of self-pity) it becomes a heady tonic-- one that leaves an odd taste in his mouth and doesn’t sit right in his belly.

He should call someone.  Mars?  His Mom?  His therapist?  He isn’t quite sure, but he knows that he hates this feeling.

He lets out a breath, catching sight of himself in the vanity mirror as he turns to begin undressing.  He looks happy, healthy enough-- nothing about him physically would indicate anything about his current mental state, which is wonderful.  But he feels the symptoms every day.   And try as he does to outrun the sadness, it seems to be catching up with him more and more.

Hesitantly, he takes a step towards the mirror, staring at himself as if expecting his reflection to do something unexpected.  He starts to slowly raise his hand, guiding it towards the glass as if nervous to touch it, and just as he’s about to make contact, a loud knock on his door startles him out of his thoughts.

He straightens up immediately, clearing his throat and calling out a loud “C’mon in!”

The door swings open and in comes Jeff, Glenne, and a few other people from his team close behind.  “That was insane, man!”

Harry beams.  “Yeah?”

Glenne, smiling to herself, closes the door behind her while Jeff comes up and squeezes Harry’s shoulders. “You were amazing.  How do you feel?”

With everyone hyping him up like this, there is a new buzzing energy within the room that was not present in his solitude.  He’ll admit that he’s feeling good.  He knows he crushed his performance, and he knows he should feel proud.  “Honestly?  I feel fuckin great.”

“Yes sir!” Glenne says.  “As you should!” 

He’s swarmed by the voices of the friends that he loves, some asking questions- “Did you see that guy in the green shirt?”  “That girl was so happy!”  “What happened with the water on the stage?”-- and some praising him -- “When you hit that fuckin note, man?”  “The pants were a good choice.” and the playful “And your hair stayed intact!” 

And it’s an incredibly welcome distraction. 

It’s all a blur from there on out.  He gets changed, he answers questions, he jokes with his friends.  He sneaks out the back entrance and is spotted only by a handful of fans as he dips into his awaiting black car.  And for a while, he doesn’t think about Mars or the conversation he had with his friends earlier before the show. For a while, he feels normal.

Until he doesn’t.

It happens much later in the day, when he’s alone in the flat he owns in New York.  God, he hates that he’s alone right now, because it makes the thoughts in his head much louder and harder to ignore.

He knows he shouldn’t do what he’s about to do… but with no one there to stop him, he feels he doesn’t have a choice.

He opens his instagram and goes immediately to his search bar.  

He doesn’t even have to type in her name, it’s already there from the last time he did this.  He frequents her page, keeping up with her life from a distance-- even though she hardly posts.

And for a while, he’s been really good about not checking up on her as frequently.  He usually finds ways to distract himself, pull himself out of his thoughts from her.  Besides, he hardly ever sees anything new on her page anyway.

But tonight, he’s feeling rather sorry for himself.  And that little pinkish-red circle around her profile picture indicating that she’s uploaded a new story is just calling his name.  So fuck it, he thinks.

His thumb hovers briefly over her profile picture as he tries to talk himself out of viewing it.  He knows it’s most likely going to be a meme or a picture of some aesthetically pleasing plant she found during a layover.  He knows he’s going to hate himself for looking at it, and that she’ll be able to see that he viewed it-- which is quite an embarrassing thought for him.  The thought of her seeing his name every single time she posts a story; it’s a wonder she hasn’t blocked him yet. (Although he’s grateful she hasn’t.)

He blows out all of his air and clicks on her story, his stomach sinking the minute he views it.  It’s a picture of her and some pilot standing in the front galley of a plane, and there’s a little gif sticker that reads ‘Reunited!’ with animated confetti around it.  He’s a good looking fellow, and by the tag of his username directly below his face, Harry knows exactly who it is.  Mars had complained about this guy to him many times;  Franco was his name and he was an absolute dick.  Harry hated him, and from the sound of things Mars wasn’t too fond of him either.  Still, Harry knows there is a history there and, shit, he can’t even really blame Mars for going back to him.  Especially not after what he put Mars through with Nicole.

Bloody Nicole.

The next picture makes his stomach drop even further; so much in fact that he almost tosses his phone immediately upon seeing it.  It’s a very aesthetically pleasing picture indeed, but it’s got fucking Franco in it. 

It’s a picture focused on Mars’ dinner plate, which looks incredible and expensive, and there’s a filter on the photo that causes it to have some sort of dreamy, sparkly effect.  There’s a candle in the center of the table, and in the background, there’s the bastard himself.  He’s smiling up at Mars-- in fact, it looks like he’s laughing hard at something she’s just said-- and although it’s only about half of his face he seems genuinely happy.  Happy to be with Mars.

Happy to be with Harry’s Mars. 

After staring at it long enough that he feels sick to his stomach, Harry tosses his phone onto the bed beside him and groans loudly.  He tilts his head back, not caring when it hits the wall a little too hard, and covers his eyes with the heel of his hand.  

Fuck.  Fuck fuck fuck. 

Last Harry had heard, Franco was an asshole who treated Mars like shit.  But for all Harry knows now, he’s a prince.   Maybe he realized how badly he’d fucked up losing Mars the first time.  Harry feels nauseous as he thinks about all the things Mars has probably told Franco about him.  Franco has probably comforted her through everything, reassured her that he would never treat her that way. 

Harry lets out an audible groan.  He knew he should have never gone to her profile.

He sits up a bit, leaning forward and continuing to rub his face, as if doing so will ease any of the anxiety he feels.  He can’t keep living like this, and he knows it.  He knows it isn’t good for him and, shit, even his friends are noticing a difference in him.  Every single day gets harder and harder not to be in communication with her-- and although he sort of knew he had lost her, seeing her on what appears to be a date with someone else makes him feel even more hopeless than before.

He shouldn’t message her.  He knows he shouldn’t. In fact, he should finally delete her number once and for all. She’s probably so happy now, with a man who has a similar schedule and lifestyle to her own.  Someone who isn’t going to end up putting her in every gossip magazine across the globe.

Someone who treats her the way she deserves.

With a curse under his breath, Harry rises to his feet.  He shakes his head, deciding he’s going to go have a long, hot shower to get this shit off of his mind.  He may even have a long, manly cry while he’s in there too because, well, he deserves it.

He tosses his phone onto his bed, mutters “fucking Franco” with a shake of his head, and makes his way out of the bedroom. 

-----

MARS

“Yeah man it’s just, like, such a rewarding job, you know?   LIke I’m really just, so important up there. And like, the amount of people who tell me like, ‘ohh, you’re too handsome to be doing this’ or like ‘oh why didn’t you get into modeling or something,’ it's like… why can’t we break that stigma, you know? Like, I love being that change.”

Mars is only half listening as Franco goes on, for the third time in the past hour, about how important he is at work.

She laughs quietly, nodding and trailing her fingers unenthusiastically along the rim of her barely touched wine glass. If there’s one thing she’s learned about pilots in her life, it’s that they sure do love talking about themselves. 

Her phone vibrates in her lap, pulling her from her thoughts. She contributes half-heartedly to the conversation, offering Franco a quick, “Mm, yeah, I love that.”  She figures it will buy her some time, make him think she’s listening while she steals a quick glance down at her phone.

Discreetly, she sits back in her chair, flipping her phone over in her hand under the table and glancing at the screen.  It’s a text from Glenne, which doesn’t surprise Mars at all.  They do, in fact, text every now and then and give each other frequent updates on one another’s lives.  It isn’t as often as they used to text-- which is something that Mars regrets to be honest.  But any time she sees Glenne’s name on her phone, it makes her smile.

This, of course, poses a challenge for Mars, considering most times she speaks with Glenne she has to refrain from asking her how Harry is doing.  Glenne never brings him up either, something Mars knows she should be grateful for but, dammit does she miss that boy.  In a sense, it almost feels like sometimes Glenne is purposely avoiding the topic of Harry-- which also hurts Mars’ feelings a little bit.  Because, Harry aside, she does miss the friendship that was slowly blossoming with Glenne. 

She discreetly unlocks her phone and reads the text message.  It’s a meme about flight attendants, followed by a text:

“Made me think of you, lol.  Miss you SO bad.  When are you back in LA?”

Mars’ hopes go up the slightest bit, although she knows there is most likely no reason for it. She and Glenne have done this back and forth quite a few times.  One mentions that they need to get together the next time they’re both in LA, the other agrees profusely, and neither makes any effort further than that. 

She takes a deep breath in, glancing up from her phone to see that Franco is still -- still -- talking about himself (something about these three girls who were fighting over him during flight school, because of course) and gives him a polite nod, as if to tell him she understands-- even if she really doesn’t.  She turns back to her phone subtly, typing out three texts that read:

“GLENNE!!!”

“I miss you so much it’s unreal!” 

“How have you been, my love?”

Mars is caught off guard by the yawn that escapes her own mouth, and she realizes that if she doesn’t start actually paying attention she may just fall asleep right here and now.  She looks back up at Franco and nods again, trying to calculate in her brain where exactly he is in his story. 

“I mean, I’m sure it’s the same for you,” he says, taking a sip of his water.  “I’m sure you’re like, getting dick constantly.” 

For a moment, Mars is genuinely unsure of how to answer him. 

She clears her throat.  “I mean,” she says.  And that’s all she has time to say, because he’s launching right back into his own story. 

Mars’ phone vibrates in her lap, and she reads Glenne’s text to herself.

“Been well! Very busy obviously, but I’m loving it.”

Very busy, Mars assumes, with things pertaining to Harry’s album.

Before she even has time to think more on that, another text from Glenne comes.

“And you?  Where in the world are you right now?  Saw your insta story… who’s that? 👀😍”

Mars has to physically stop herself from letting out an audible sigh.  She’d forgotten that she’d even posted a picture at the beginning of this dinner; an artistically shot photo of her appetizer with a less than subtle glimpse of Franco smiling at her in the back.  This, of course, had been intentional, with only one person in mind that she’d wanted to see it.  

It was minutes after that photo that the evening went downhill and Franco slipped right into his insufferable ways.

Mars, however, in tuning him out and losing herself in her own thoughts, had forgotten entirely about the photo meant to make Harry (and Harry alone) jealous.  And now here she is.  Paying for her sins.

She discreetly types back under the table, thankful for her ability to text without looking.  

“Just a friend.  He’s a pilot I’ve known for a bit.  We’re working a trip together.”

She makes a mental note to delete that picture as soon as she gets back to her hotel room.

As she and Franco continue to talk, she really begins to wonder what she ever saw in this man.  He’s impolite, and entitled-- the kind of person that no one had ever said the word “no” to.

Franco sends his soup back to the waiter because it’s too hot.  Mars tells a brief (brief) story about London, and Franco follows it up with an even better story about a time he went somewhere even nicer and did even cooler things.   And Mars brushes it off, checking her phone and doing mental math in her head.  If she goes to bed within the hour, she’ll get seven hours of sleep.  Not ideal for her, but still fine… if Franco would just eat his damn soup.

And then, for some god awful reason, something as simple as Franco’s pronunciation of the word “obviously” strikes Mars’ heart like a lightning bolt.  

It isn’t that he says it wrong by any means.  He doesn’t, it’s just that the way he says it reminds her of Harry-- of course-- because Harry would have pronounced it differently. 

Harry had a funny way of saying the word. He would have said it more pointedly, and Mars would have teased him for the way his accent would have gotten in the way.

God, Mars misses that accent.

She would have teased him for his pronunciation, and he probably would have rolled his eyes and laughed along with her, teasing her in return for something she does and then kissing her playfully to shut her up.   And it would’ve been enough to make her happy for the rest of her life.

In addition to his accent, there are several other things she misses about him.  Like the way he showed genuine interest in the stories she would tell him, and he never allowed her to apologize for rambling.  The way he made everyone in a room feel important and listened to, but always stole little glances at Mars and smirked when she noticed.  The way he lit up around his friends-- and the way his friends immediately accepted her and loved her.  Which reminds her…

She glances back down to her phone to see another, unread text from Glenne.  She reads it, less than discreetly this time because, honestly, it won't make a difference to Franco whether she’s fully listening or not.

“Are we suuuuure he’s just a friend? 😉”

Mars looks up at Franco at the exact moment he uses a spoon for a mirror while he picks something from his teeth.  He glances at their waitress as she passes the table, then back at Mars.  “You think the waitress is hot?”

Mars shrugs.  “Uh. I don’t know.  Yeah?”

“I think she’s weird as shit.”  Franco laughs.  “But I’d bang her.”

Mars nods unenthusiastically in response, turning immediately back to her phone to reply to Glenne.

“Definitely just a friend.”

Honestly, it’s her own fault she’s in this situation now.  She blames past Mars, who’d acted in an emotional rage, for the fact that she’s having to suffer through this torturous evening.  She should have never reached out to him in the first place back in January.  She should have, at the very least, given herself some time.  Maybe she would have processed more of what Harry was trying to say to her.  Maybe she’d be with Harry right now instead.

She’ll never admit it out loud, but maybe that’s where she’s meant to be.  And now she fears it’s too late. 

Not that she and Franco have done anything in the past few months.  All she’d done was text him, but once she’d calmed down a bit from the emotions of Saint Thomas she’d realized that she wasn’t exactly as interested in him as she’d thought she was. Through a lot of chats with her best friend, her therapist, and even her diary, she’d begun working out that it was better to be alone than with Franco-- and slowly her communication with Franco became, once again, more and more sparse.

Of course, she had forgotten that she and Franco had picked up this trip together shortly after the Saint Thomas incident.  So now here she is. 

The night drags on far longer than Mars reckons it should, and when they find themselves in the backseat of their lyft on the way back to their hotel, Mars is practically itching to get out of the car.  

Franco chats idly with the driver about some local basketball team that Mars couldn’t care less about, and she finds herself scrolling mindlessly through her instagram. She’s giving out “likes” very generously, for the simple fact that it keeps her from having to listen to Franco talk any longer.  Still, it's not quite as entertaining as she would hope.  Another girl she knew back in middle school is pregnant-- again.  Her college friend is posting a picture of his muscles at the gym.  Her favorite celebrity posted a picture from her international tour.  Blah blah blah.

Her attention is snapped back to the present when she feels Franco’s hand on her knee.  She looks up from her phone and over to Franco, who still is in deep conversation and won’t even look at her.  His hand trails a little bit higher, and his thumb rubs circles that Mars guesses are supposed to be soothing.  (They aren’t.)  His fingers curl a little bit and he keeps them right in the spot on her leg that they’re at, gently scratching them back and forth.  And oh, Mars knows exactly what he’s doing.

She swallows around a throat that now feels uncomfortably dry.  She shifts awkwardly in her seat, hoping he gets the hint. 

He doesn’t.

He glances at her briefly, a smile on his lips, and he moves his hand a bit higher, pushing the hem of Mars’ dress up along with it.  She opens her mouth to say something, and he feigns smug shock. Pretending like he knows he shouldn’t be doing what he’s doing.  The driver continues to drive silently, and Mars watches Franco intently.

“Franco,” she whispers, but she’s cut off when he speaks to the driver.

“Hey,” he says, “would you mind turning this song up a little bit more?”

The driver wordlessly complies with Franco’s request, and Franco grins smugly back at Mars before leaning impossibly closer.  He attaches his lips to Mars’ neck, just below her earlobe, and presses the wettest kiss Mars thinks she’s ever experienced against her skin.  She shivers, and not in a good way-- although the way Franco’s hand is traveling further up her thigh tells her he’s completely clueless.

“Stop,” she says quietly. 

If he hears her, he pretends like he doesn’t.  He uses his other hand to pull her closer, the fingers under her skirt now trailing lightly along her panties.  “Franco,” she says again.

“What?” he asks, an arrogance lacing his voice.  “You can’t tell me you haven’t been waiting for this all night.”  He leans in to kiss her mouth, but she pulls away awkwardly.

“Not… no, I haven’t.  What?”

“Is it just that you’re shy? In front of the driver?”  Franco smiles, lowering his voice.  “I bet he doesn’t mind.”

“I bet he does,” Mars says, increasing her volume only slightly.  “Franco, we’re not doing this--”

“Your room or mine then, baby?”

“Neither.”

For the first time, Franco finally seems to hear her.  He pulls away with a frown.  “What?”

“Franco, I don’t… this isn’t--”

“Then why did you want to get dinner tonight?”

“Cause I wanted to catch up! I told you that before we even left.  What the fuck?”

“I thought you were just saying that, Mars.  What, you’re too good for me now? Mars got a taste of some famous guy’s dick and now she’s too good for me?”

Mars’ stomach turns.  “What--”

“You used to practically beg me to hang out with you.  Remember that?  There was a time you would’ve given anything for me to touch you like that. And now you’re embarrassing me like this?”

Mars feels tears welling in her eyes, but not tears of sadness-- tears of pure, absolute rage  “I don’t owe you a goddamn thing,” she spits back.

“Get your story straight then.”  Franco scoffs.

“What?”

“You heard me.  You call me whenever you’re lonely or horny or whatever but you think you’re so much better than me.  Excuse me for thinking this time was any different than the last few times you begged for my attention.”

“You’re a fucking asshole.  I--”

“No fucking wonder Harry left your ass.”

Mars’ breath halts in her throat, and her mouth gapes open like a fish.  Franco laughs.  “Yeah.  I read the articles.  Harry fucking cheated on you, Mars.  Probably because you act like this.”

“You--”

“This is just what you do, isn’t it?  Get a guy all excited like a fucking tease and then you turn him down.  You’re a prude.  And I--”

Mars doesn’t even realize what she’s doing until she feels the heat of Franco’s cheek beneath the palm of her hand; the smack echoing through the cab despite the loud music.  Franco immediately grabs for his face, eyes widened with shock, and for a moment they both just stare at one another-- too afraid to move.

“Hey!” The cab driver speaks up, immediately muting the radio.  “I won’t have any violence in my car.”

“Let me out,” Mars says without a moment’s hesitation.

“You--” Franco starts, and Mars turns towards the driver. 

 “Let me out, please,” she says. “I can walk.”

The cab driver pulls over to the side of the road, parking as quickly as possible.

“You’re an idiot,” Franco says, “The hotel isn’t anywhere close by, and--”

The driver turns the light on and whirls around in his seat, pointing to Franco.  “Get out of my car.”

Franco scoffs.  “What?!” 

“Get out of my car.  Now.”

“Look, man, I’m not the one who--”

“I’ll call the cops.”

Franco puts his hands up immediately in submission, but he doesn’t make any effort to exit the vehicle. “That won’t be necessary, man, I’m just saying that--”

“Get out of my car then.”

Franco, who’s cheek is now bright red where Mars had slapped him, glances in disbelief from Mars to the driver.  Mars, who can hardly catch her breath, chews anxiously at her trembling lip, afraid to move a muscle.

Finally, Franco scoffs. Shaking his head, he reaches for the car door.  “Un-fucking-believable.”  He says under his breath.  “This is unbelievable.”

“Take everything,” the driver says.  “I’m not coming back for you.”

“Fuck you, man.”  Franco steps out of the car, reaching back in to grab his phone.  “And fuck you, too.”  He flips Mars the finger.  “Waste of my fucking time.”

He slams the door so hard that the car shakes, and Mars and the driver sit in silence for a few moments.  Trying desperately to get her breathing under control, she swallows a nauseating lump in her throat.  The driver puts the car into drive, but before moving, he turns to Mars.  “Are you okay?”

Mars glances out the window, where she can see Franco furiously scrolling through his phone.  “I’m okay,” she says, although by the sound of her voice she seems far from okay. 

The driver says nothing, he only nods, turns the car light off, and begins to drive.

Mars stares numbly out the window, trying desperately to calm the panic attack coursing through her entire body.  She takes a few shaky breaths, feeling her tears trickling rapidly down her cheeks, and she wipes at her running nose.   She’s thankful for the driver, and the fact that he keeps the radio playing softly.  His silence and stoic expression almost make her feel silly, and she laughs bitterly. What just happened?

“I’m sorry,” she says, voice hardly above a whisper.  “I’m so sorry.  I’ve never--”

The driver holds up his hand.  “Please,” he says.  “Nothing to apologize for.”

There are a few moments of silence following his statement, but he clears his throat and speaks again.  “It isn’t my place, and I won’t talk about it anymore after this.  But you did the right thing.”

Mars can’t stop the little sob that escapes past her lips.  “Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

She laughs bitterly.  “I feel so stupid.”

“You’re not stupid.  And you shouldn’t feel that way.  He should feel stupid.   You did the right thing.”

There’s a heaviness on Mars’ heart that feels suffocating, but she knows he’s right.  She sniffles, wiping at her stuffy nose and focusing her eyes at the passing street lights out the window.  “Thank you,” she says quietly. 

The driver says nothing, he only offers Mars a sympathetic nod, then reaches down to turn the volume up slightly. 

Mars lets out a sigh, settling back into her seat and laying her head against the car window.  All she can focus on is getting her breathing back to normal.  Her heart pounds in her ears, and all she wants more than anything is to be home.  Not here, not on this trip, not even in her crashpad.  Home, with her parents, and her siblings, and her eighteen year old family cat.   She wants to forget the past couple of months entirely.  Start fresh. 

She begins to consider the amount of PTO she’s accumulated.  Surely she has enough to call out sick for her next trip.  Maybe she can swap with someone, call out of another trip, and go home for a bit.  Maybe she’ll even leave her phone behind. Maybe--

The thoughts stop dead in their tracks when her brain registers a familiar voice.  She sits up a bit, as if it’s going to help her get any sort of clarity, and she holds her breath until her thoughts are confirmed.  

That’s Harry playing on the radio. 

Mars’ breath hitches in her throat, and her ears begin to ring.  It’s a song of his that she really does adore-- for lack of a better word-- and it feels like it simultaneously shatters and heals her already broken heart. She buries her face in her hands, not caring about the mascara that’s going to stain her fingers, and lets out a long, shaky breath.

She’s torn between asking the driver to mute it or turn it up, and she’s not entirely sure he isn’t perfectly aware of the situation at hand.  In any case, he does nothing-- and Mars is left to listen, and suffer, in silence.

She lifts her head from her palms, her chest quivering with another shaky breath, and she considers the potential meaning of all of this.  Naive as it may be to take this as a possible sign, she also takes comfort in the thought that this could be the universe’s way of gently nudging her in the right direction rather than kicking her when she’s down. 

But a sign of what?  Surely she shouldn’t be reaching out to Harry.  Not now.  Not after everything, and especially not after the night she’s had.

Should she?

Mars glances down at the phone in her lap and picks it up to glance at the time-- although she isn’t sure why she’s checking that.  She doesn’t even know where in the world Harry is right now one way or another.  And the fact of the matter is, she has to be up incredibly early for tomorrow’s flight anyway-- so really she knows she shouldn’t call him.

That isn’t the only reason she shouldn’t call him, of course.  She knows it’s a terrible idea in general.  They don’t belong together.  They’re just going to keep going in circles, and they’re going to end up getting more hurt than they already were.

Still, what impeccable timing for this song to come on.

Mars picks anxiously at the skin around her thumbnail, glancing back out the window again-- suddenly completely overwhelmed with indecision.  Somehow, nothing has ever felt more right than the unexpected realization that Harry is-- still-- just a phone call away.  Just as he’s always been.  And she knows she doesn’t need him, sure, but god… she loves him.  She loves him so much that her heart aches.  And that is all she knows right now. 

It’s been long enough, surely he’s willing to talk this through. Surely he’s ready to accept an apology from her. 

Squirming subconsciously in her seat, she lets out a sigh far louder than intended.

“Is something else bothering you?” The driver asks, glancing back at her in his rearview mirror.

Mars makes eye contact with him, smiling as normally as she can manage, and clears her throat.  “No,” she says, “I’m okay.  Just… shaken up.”

She clicks the home button on her phone, darkening her screen, and sits in her anxiety; in her indecision.  After a few moments, she says the only thing she can think of to somewhat ease the situation and bring her comfort.

“Actually,” she says,  “Would you mind turning this song up?”

-----

HARRY

Harry wraps a towel loosely around his waist, making his way from the bathroom back into the bedroom to get dressed.  The humidity of the steamy bathroom clings to his freshly moisturized skin, and already he can feel his hair frizzing up.  He turns off the light and lets out a subconscious exhale at the drastic temperature change between the bathroom and the rest of his flat.

Clearing his throat, he walks  into his bedroom and over to the dresser.  Normally he’s all for sleeping in the nude but for some reason, his place feels extra cold tonight.  He carelessly flings open the top drawer of his dresser to begin rummaging through the various folded clothes.  Nonchalantly, he taps on his phone screen to check any notifications he’d received during his rather long shower.  A text from Jeff, a missed call from his goddaughter (whoops), and….

He stops dead in his tracks, his entire body going cold at the sight.  He immediately drops the clothes in his hand and reaches for the phone, pulling it up closer to his face so he can read clearly. 

He has to blink several times to make sure he’s really seeing what he thinks he’s seeing… and he is.  Two iMessage notifications from Mars. Right there in plain sight.

Holy shit.

He nearly drops his phone trying to get it unlocked, and his fingers shake as he opens her messages.  Right there, back to back.

“Hey, Harry. It’s Mars.”  As if he could ever forget.  Followed by: “I hope you’ve been doing well.”

His heart pounds in his ears as he tries to plan out his response.  Surely she has a bigger reason for messaging him than just checking if he’s well.  Maybe she wants to talk about something.  Harry’s heart drops when he thinks that maybe she’s going to bring up Franco.  Maybe Franco proposed at dinner tonight, and she’s calling to tell Harry about it so that he hears it from her first.  He shakes his head, rubbing anxiously on the tip of his nose before beginning to type out his response.

“Hiii Mars.  I’ve been well.  How are you? x”

As soon as he sends it he shakes his head.  There were far too many I’s in that “hi.”  Now he just looks desperate and weird. Also, why did he tell her he’s been well?  Sure, he’s been alright.  But ‘well?’ Certainly not.

Her text bubbles appear, then disappear, then appear again, and Harry realizes he’s holding his breath waiting for her response.

“Well… I’ve been better. Haha.  But I’m alright.”

Shit, Harry has no idea how he’s meant to respond to that.

On the one hand, he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t a little bit excited to hear that she isn’t having the best night-- not because he’s hoping she’s miserable, but because he hates Franco and he wants Mars to hate him, too.  But on the other hand, it’s upsetting to hear she isn’t happy.

Not to mention, it isn’t the most open-ended text.  Where is the conversation meant to go from there?

Harry chews his bottom lip as he carefully types out his response. Several times he types (and deletes) “would you like to talk about it?”  He isn’t sure if that’s his place anymore.

Nor is he sure that he wants to talk about whatever is troubling her, especially if it’s Franco. 

Finally, he settles for a somewhat neutral, yet friendly and caring:

I’m sorry to hear that.  What’s been going on?

His heart is beating so hard that his ears are ringing, and he runs a hand through his hair as he waits for her to respond.  This is wrong.  He shouldn’t have even asked.  It comes off as nosey, and really it’s none of his business any longer what troubles her.

Still, surely she wouldn’t have brought it up if she didn’t want to talk to him, right?  What’s the worst that could happen?  Maybe she just needs a bit of friendly advice.

“Just a lot.  Work has been crazy. And people suck. Lol”

By ‘people,’ Harry hopes she means Franco.

His thumbs begin typing a new message, but another text from her arrives before he has a chance to write too much.

“Can I call you?” Followed by a hasty: “You can say no.  Sorry.  I know it’s kinda weird and you probably don’t even want to hear from me lol”  and then another “sorry” tacked on for good measure.

Harry’s head is absolutely spinning at her request; a request he’d hoped for for so long but never thought would come.  He rises to his feet for no good reason and paces around the room, staring at the messages on his phone.  Why does she want to call him?  What does she want to tell him?  What if it ends badly?  What if she’s still angry?

“You can literally say no” pops up on his phone then, reminding him that he very much needs to respond to her sooner or later.

He sits down swiftly on the corner of his bed and types out a quick “Yeah, you can call me.”  Followed by:  “Everything okay?”

“No yeah everything is fine I just wanted to talk.  But if it's not a good time you can say no.”

Harry has the right mind to call her himself just to get her to stop overthinking, but on the other hand he doesn’t want to scare her off.  So, as calmly as he can manage to keep himself, he types back,  “It’s a fine time. Call me.”

As soon as he sends it, his thumbs move at the speed of light to tack on a quick “Please. X”

Before Harry has time to overthink the “please” and the slight desperation that he’s concerned it may convey, his heart sinks into the pit of his belly when he hears it-- the specific ringtone set on his phone for Mars’ calls.  The ringtone he hadn’t heard in ages and had honestly, up until now, forgotten about.

He stares at the vibrating phone in his hand for a few seconds, completely overwhelmed by his nerves and his excitement, before clearing his throat and swiping his thumb along the screen.  The ringing stops.  The call connects.

He’s talking to Mars again.

Slowly, cautiously (although he isn’t sure why), he raises the phone to his ear. 

“Hello?”

“Hey.” Her voice sounds quiet and far away, almost an imitation of the girl he used to know. She sounds like she’s trying to be happy, and failing, and there’s a distinct wobble to her voice that only someone who knows her well would recognize.   

It shatters Harry’s heart.

“Heyyy,” he says, as soothing yet as conversationally as possible.  “How are you?”

“Uhh,” Mars says through a soft, breathy laugh,  “I’m… good. Um.  Busy with work.  I-- I just--”

“Yeah?” Harry doesn’t mean to talk over her, but fuck, he’s so nervous.  “How’s work?”

“Oh, it’s good, I--’

“Sorry I didn’t mean to--”

“What?”

“No you go.”

“Did I cut you off?”

‘No I was--”

“Sorry, I didn’t know if you were--”

“No, I cut you off.”  Fuck’s sake.  Harry chews anxiously at the corner of his thumbnail while he speaks. “Sorry.  You were saying you were busy with work.  And then what?”

“Oh.  Um.  Nothing else really.  I was just gonna say that…. I hope you don’t mind that I called.  I just…. It’s been a while.”

Harry swallows.  “No, no.  I don’t mind.  I’m uh… I’m actually kind of glad you did.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah.”  Harry has to physically stop himself from telling her just how badly he misses her, but he begins to feel anxious when a quick silence falls between them.  He clears his throat.

Say something.  Say anything.  Fuck. 

“What are you up to?” Mars, thankfully, speaks first.  “I hope you’re not like, somewhere in the world where it’s actually the middle of the night.  Like, I didn’t wake you up or anything did I?  I’m a little bit jet lagged myself.”

Harry chuckles, although he’d be lying if he said it didn’t hurt him just a little bit that she didn’t know about his performance this morning.  But then again, why would she? 

“I’m in New York,” he answers, sitting down on his bed and settling himself back against the pillows.  “Are you on a layover?”

“M-hm.  Today was a long day.  Tomorrow isn’t though. Which is nice.”

Harry bites his tongue to keep from mentioning Franco, but he can’t stop himself from asking, “Oh yeah?  Good crew then?”  

“Um,”  she trails off, and Harry can tell she’s trying to choose her words carefully.  “I mean… yeah.  They’re nice.  Most of them.  But uh, we get new pilots for tomorrow’s leg.  So.”

“Looked like you had a nice dinner.”  It's out before Harry can stop himself, and he holds his breath the seconds it escapes his lips.

Mars audibly sighs, and Harry instantly regrets what he’s just said.  “I didn’t mean--”

“It was okay,” she says.  “It was… I-I know you remember Franco.”

Harry’s mouth goes dry.  “Yeah,” he says.  “Yeah, I remember Franco.”

“Yeah.  He’s… the same.”

Harry wonders if she means that in a good way or a bad way.  He doesn’t even have time to ask before she’s speaking again.   “I have to tell you something.”

And oh, fuck, Harry has never in his life known an anxiety like this before.  He knows that “I have to tell you something” is hardly ever followed by anything good, and coming from Mars right now he can’t imagine it’s going to be anything wonderful.  He swallows, clearing his throat and fidgeting anxiously with his fingers.   “What is it?”

There’s a long silence that follows, so long in fact that Harry worries she’s hung up.  After a short while, he glances at the phone to see that she is still on the line. He’s about to say something, when she finally speaks.

“I fucking miss you,” Mars says quietly.  “I don’t expect you to say it back.  And I don’t know if I deserve anything other than your silence.  I--” she sighs. “We know that… it isn’t a good idea for us to be together.  And I don’t want to mess anything up, or stir up anything.  I just… I think you deserve to know.  I miss you.”

“Don’t say that,” Harry says, although his heart is begging him to say something along the opposite lines.  “Please don’t say that.”

“Why?”  It sounds like a genuine question; not a tease, not an insinuation or indication she’s looking for anything else.  Not even a hint of surprise.  Just genuinely asking him: why?

“Because,” he answers, picking at his chipped nail polish and struggling to find the words he’s looking for.  He takes a big deep breath in through his nose.  “Because I know you’re with Franco now.  And I cannot promise to respect that.”

“I’m not with Franco,” Mars says quietly.  “He’s a prick.  And I’m an idiot.”

“You’re not an idiot.”  Harry shakes his head, as if she can see him. “You’re not.”

“I should have never gone out with him,” Mars admits.  “It was fucking stupid. He’s not… he’s….  I was just….” she sighs into the phone, clearly at a loss.  “I don’t know.  I was looking for a way to fill the void, I guess.”

Harry hates himself for the question he asks next.  “Did it work?”

“Of course not.  He fucking sucks.”  

He swallows, unsure of what to say next.  What even is there to say?  He can’t tell her how badly he misses her.  How badly he wants her.  How he thinks maybe he might just be in love with her-  really and truly.  He’s used up all of those chances, and he’s not expecting to be able to get another one. 

“Well,” he says slowly, “If anyone understands that feeling, it’s me.”

Mars laughs, although Harry can’t tell if it’s genuine or sarcastic until it dissolves into a little half-sigh, half-hum.  He can picture her shaking her head on the other end of the phone.

“Anyway,” Mars says after a beat, and then she says nothing else. 

There’s a silence that falls between them, and Harry shifts awkwardly on the bed.  “Anyway,” he repeats.

“I do miss you, Harry.”

Harry nods, as if she can see him. “Yeah,” he says.  “Yeah, I miss you more than I can tell you, Mars.”

“I just…” She goes silent for a moment again, and Harry had to refrain from speaking. He wants her to get her words out, and he wants to give her the space and the freedom to do so. 

But god, is it hard.

Mars tries again.  “I just don’t know.”

Harry blinks through the tears that form in his eyes.  “I don’t know either.”

After a ridiculously long pause, Mars laughs into the phone again.  Somehow,  Harry can tell that she’s also crying.  “I shouldn’t have called,” she says.  “Sorry.  I don’t know why I--”

“I’m glad you did.”  Harry is quick to cut her off, terrified suddenly that she’s going to hang up and he’s going to lose her.  “I’m so glad you did, Mars.”

“You are?”

Harry can’t believe she’s even asking him that.  “Of course I am,” he says.  “I…”  

He trails off, unsure of where to go from here.  How can he tell her that he just wanted to hear her voice again, more than anything else in the world, and that he’d been watching old videos on his phone that he’d taken of them long before anything had gone wrong just so he could hear her laugh again?  How can he explain to her that she’s the only person he wants, that he’s never missed anyone the way he misses her, and that his heart quite literally feels like it’s breaking his ribs every time he thinks of her?

“I guess I just am glad to know that I’m not alone in how I’ve been feeling lately.”  

“No,” Mars says, practically whispering into the phone.  “No. You aren’t alone.”

They sit with the weight of their words, the silence on the line almost comforting because it’s theirs, and truthfully it’s something they’ve both yearned for for so long.   Harry licks his lips, anxiously fiddling with the rings on his fingers as he tries to come up with something to say so that he doesn’t lose her again.  

“So where are you?” is the best he comes up with.

“Uhh...” Mars lets out a breath, trilling her lips as if she actually has forgotten where she is and has to think about it.  “Atlanta.  Early start tomorrow.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Mm.  Headed to Dallas in like… five hours.”

“Dallas,” Harry says, as conversationally as he can manage.  “Should be lovely.”

“Yeah. Looking forward to it, I guess.”

“Yeah? Good.”

Silence. 

Harry speaks again.  “Five hours?  You should get some sleep.”

Silence.  Again.  Harry fucking hates it. 

“I’m really sorry.”  When she speaks again, it surprises Harry. But he listens.  “Like, genuinely.  I’m sorry.  It’s…”  She swallows so hard he can hear it through the phone.  “It sucks so bad Harry.  And I-- I don’t want--”  

Mars trails off with a shaky breath, and Harry mutters an almost inaudible.  “It’s okay, take your time.”

“I know you’re glad that I called.  And I-- I’m so happy I got to talk to you again, it’s just-- I’m not… we--”

“I know,” Harry says, as comfortingly as he can manage.  “I know, Mars.   It’s okay.”

‘It’s not.”  Mars sniffs, a stuffy sound that lets Harry know she’s definitely crying.  Her voice sounds almost on the verge of panic, and he knows she’s getting too far into her own head like she tends to do. “I just-- I wanted it to be different but I... fuck, I shouldn’t have called you.  I shouldn’t have--”

“Hey.”  Harry wipes at his own tears, trying to hide the sadness in his own voice.  “Hey, listen to me.  It’s okay, Mars.  Yeah?  You’re okay.”

She takes a moment to catch her breath, and Harry holds his own breath in order to try and stop himself from crying just as hard.  He wants nothing more than to go to her and hold her.  To fix all of this.  To make it go away.

“I’m gonna go now,” she says quietly, after a long pause.  She sniffs again.  “I’m sorry.  I..  I promise I didn’t call you just to make you listen to me cry.”

And how can Harry tell her that he would sit and listen to her cry for hours, just to have the chance to be talking to her again?

“It’s okay,” he says, his voice cracking slightly.  “I am glad you called.”

“You don’t have to call me ever again after this, Harry.  I didn’t mean to stir up old shit, or--”

“Hey.  I want to.  Having you in my life is enough.  Okay?  Just having you in my life again is more than enough for me.”

Mars laughs, almost out of disbelief and sounding somewhat relieved.  “Yeah,” she says, voice still wet.  “Yeah I agree.”

“Get some sleep, love.”  Harry doesn’t want to be telling her that.  He wants to keep talking to her, until he knows she’s done crying.  “You have to get to Dallas in five hours.’

Mars laughs.  “I don’t think I’m going to be able to sleep at this point.”

“Just try,” Harry encourages.  “A little is better than nothing.”

“Yeah,” Mars agrees, slowly.  “Okay.”

And what Harry wants to say is:  I love you so much.  I hope you have sweet dreams, text me when you wake up.  I don’t care how early it is, I want to hear about your day.

But instead, he says, “Okay.”

Mars lets out a breath. “Goodnight, Harry. Thank you for talking to me.’

“Any time, Mars. you know that.”  I love you. 

Mars says nothing for a moment, then clears her throat.  “Goodnight,” she repeats.

Harry has to physically pull the phone from his ear, lest he stay on the line with her for the rest of the night.  “Goodnight,” he says back.  I fucking love you. 

After a brief moment of hovering his thumb over the red End Call button, he finally pushes it.  He stares at the home screen of his phone-- a picture of the beach he’d taken in Cancun-- and sits in the silence that follows.

And then it hits him like a ton of bricks.

What in the fuck is he doing letting the love of his life go?

If there is anything Harry has learned, it’s that life is far too short to let opportunities pass him by.  Especially opportunities like this.  

He doesn’t know much, but he knows he loves Mars.  And at the end of the day, that’s all he really cares about.  

So he’s going to go and get her.

He glances at the clock on his phone before rolling clumsily off of his bed, stumbling on a pair of slippers that he’d carelessly left in the middle of the floor this morning.   He searches through the clutter on his desk that he’s been meaning to clean, finding his laptop under a pile of documents that he still needs to sign.  He opens it and waits a few moments, cursing under his breath when the laptop flashes a low battery symbol.  For fuck’s sake. 

A few minutes later, he finds his charger and plugs it into an outlet on the wall beneath his desk.  Drumming his fingertips impatiently, he waits for the laptop to boot back to life.  There’s a voice in his head telling him that he needs to be smarter than this, and there’s a twisting in his belly that tells him he’s too late, but he listens to neither.  He has to try. 

Harry curses under his breath and briefly considers doing this from his phone when the laptop finally blinks to life.  As quickly as his fingertips will take him, he’s opening a google tab and typing the first airline that comes to mind-- and then opening a second tab and pulling up another one. 

He’s got six different airline websites running when he finally finds what he’s looking for-- a flight to Atlanta that leaves in exactly an hour and 28 minutes. 

He chews on his bottom lip nervously as he clicks “Select Flight” and waits for the payment screen to populate.  If he times himself right, he can catch her-- but he has to rely on technology and, frankly, the anticipation is making him want to scream.

“Come on,” he mutters under his breath.  “Fuck.”

The page finally loads and he’s never in his life clicked a button so quickly, immediately entering the credit card information he knows by heart.  He’s speaking out loud to himself-- and also to the website, willing it to cooperate as he tries to navigate this.  “Okay,” he says, pressing tab to enter the next required field.  “Okay.”

When the ticket is purchased, he stares at the confirmation screen in shock for a good ten seconds before his adrenaline kicks in.  He’s doing it.  He’s actually doing it.

He shoots up from his seat, slamming the drawers of his dresser open in search of a pair of pants to wear while trying to text his assistant coherently about arranging a ride to the airport.  For fucks sake, why doesn’t he have more clothes in New York?  Surely he spends more time here than this, right?

It’s all a blur from then on out, and he keeps having to remind himself that, although he is in a bit of a time crunch, he needs to slow down.  This has to be done right.  He cannot risk a simple mistake that would make any part of this run less than smoothly.

His assistant is asleep, of course, and Harry feels bad for the amount of texts he’s sent him-- so he decides to redownload the Uber app to his phone.  He’s hardly ever had to use it in his entire life, but if any time is right, it’s now.

Fuck the fact that he doesn’t have a car out here-- why didn’t he ever think of it as a necessity? 

He’s stumbling out his door minutes later, a crossbody Louis Vuitton that has been carelessly stuffed with outfits he may need over the next few days slung lazily over his shoulder.   His Uber driver is showing as three minutes away, and he’s praying to himself that it isn’t someone who’s going to make a big deal about him. 

He yawns to himself as he paces along the sidewalk outside of his flat, trying not to think about just how late it actually is, or how awkward it's going to be if he doesn’t make it to her in time, or, the most terrifying thought of all, if Mars doesn’t receive him well.

He curses under his breath, willing the Uber driver to please hurry the hell up and get here so that he doesn’t have to just sit alone with his thoughts. 

When the driver does arrive, a new wave of anxiety washes over him, and he holds his breath as the driver rolls down his window-- ready for a slew of questions and preparing himself to most likely have to sign a few things or take a picture with the driver.

It’s an older gentlemen, and although Harry can hardly see him in the darkness he seems friendly enough, with a thick mustache over his top lip and thin, dark hair.  “Hi,” he says, “Harry?”

Harry slings his duffel higher up onto his shoulder.  “Yes sir,” he says.

The man looks him over, then wordlessly turns away, pushing a button to unlock the car without giving it a second thought.  It almost takes Harry by surprise, and he stands there for a moment-- as if anticipating something else coming.  When it doesn’t, he shakes his head back to reality and hurriedly slips into the backseat of the car.

Hardly a word is spoken the entire car ride, which truthfully, Harry doesn’t mind.  It gives him time to really think this through.  To plan what he’s going to say and how he’s going to say it.

God, he feels insane for this.

He prays silently for no delays in his flight and no issues getting on board.  He prays that Mars will accept him back with open arms.  He prays she will forgive him.

And when the car pulls up to JFK International Airport, Harry swallows the last bit of nerves he’s got sitting like a lump in his throat.  He thanks his driver when he gets out of the car, nods at some fans who recognize him, and slings his duffel over onto his other shoulder.  

He takes a deep breath, and pushes forward into the airport.  

It’s time for him to win his girl back. 

#Harry Styles #Harry #Harry styles fanfiction #Harry fanfiction #fanfiction #Harry Styles fic #Harry fic #fic #Harry Styles angst #Harry angst #angst #Harry Styles fluff #Harry fluff #fluff

[mengyao]

do I know about welcome to dark fuck princess island yet... if not I would like to.

HAHA... welcome to dark fuck princess island is the amalgamation of stuff pruned from two other beefleaf fics, one being my big unpublished postcanon sqx fic and the other being the most recent one i posted, which was supposed to have a postcanon section to it that i had to cut due to a deadline that was going to come before i could finish writing it...

i have plans to do a sensitive, emotionally realistic character study of postcanon shi qingxuan that charts a believable beefleaf reconciliation arc while prioritizing sqx's agency and self-worth. that's the big one. this is the wretched idfic runoff of that other fic, which is superior in every way but makes you wait quite a bit longer for them to fuck nasty

to be more specific... my postcanon sqx fic originally had a real deep vein of gothic romance going on that i eventually realized was chafing super hard at the main thrust of the story, which has a pretty different tone and vibe to it. (it's obviously still a little bit gothic romance because it's a romance fic about getting back together with the ghost who killed your brother so you know.) so i took the stuff that was the most, like, lesbian phantom of the opera out of there and combined it with stuff that i cut from my most recent fic (which in case you haven't read it, is about them hooking up lesbianly during the long con era in a way where he xuan is power tripping hard via some non-negotiated d/s and verbal humiliation stuff. lol,). that cut stuff was about beefleaf reuniting postcanon in a mildly dubcon lesbian harlequin romance manner and having really ill-advised sex shortly afterwards, which is like, surely going to have negative implications for both of their mental health and well-being. but sqx is also experiencing a lot of intense emotions over the fact that the sex they're having is unambiguously lesbian in nature and it's really emotionally confusing and guilt-inducing that even though she's legitimately pretty scared of this person a) they both clearly still desire each other carnally despite everything and b) whatever else sqx may be feeling, she realizes that hx still "gets" her gender more than anyone else has or possibly ever will... she feels seen... :(

it's some kind of situation where sqx gets sick or injured in some way in their day to day life, wakes up at nether water manor having been benevolently kidnapped, and then proceeds to be a gothic fantasy ya novel heroine wandering around the haunted mansion she's not technically "imprisoned" within but also has no way to leave... also after the first interaction or two they have, which are just supremely awkward because they're both in the same place they were when Alla That happened and also in the same forms they were then, hx is female form-ing it up... this is really genuinely just trashy erotic horror, so sqx is like unpacking the implications of their now retrospectively dubcon dalliances past while finding herself thrilled and terrified to discover that it doesn't make her want hx any less... i think sqx has also been having gory horrific erotic dreams about hx intermittently over the past however-long-it's-been. and she feels really fucked up and stupid and embarrassing for not being over it.

but this is not like slow burn or anything so they DO have sex again way more quickly than they ought to and the vibes are super rancid but like, in a sexy way, like peak [ao3 tag voice] Consensual But It Shouldn't Be. "on god you two should never see each other again for your own good but it's too late now so you might as well give in to your dark passions" shit. the most embarrassing aspect of all of this is that i think it ends with some kind of impulsive shotgun elopement which, in my head at least, is modeled after this one corvosider fic i read 10 years ago that nonetheless left a BIG impact on my psyche

so. that's. that. LOL

[vergilberg]

welcome to my insane yakuza AU / story / whatever where all of my headcanons converge and i went insane. uhhhh open things in a new window for legibility too?? i might upload the relationship chart on its own eventually tho bc oh boy

have some notes below the cut lol but first.... bonus long haired Kiryu

i’ll go into more detail about this AU and the different stories laterrrr but like here r the bare bones of it

three stories, one taking place in 1969 (Happier Than Ever), one taking place in 1979 (La Dolce Vita), and one taking place in 2022 (Pushing Up Daffodils)

Happier Than Ever is about Kazama and Shimano when they were first sorta getting started and making names for themselves. Young yakuza being horrible and stupid and gay. Inter-clan intrigue / inter-clan espionage sort of vibes. A lot of relationship exploration between Shimano and Kazama. Sohei’s sort of there, Sagawa pops up a few times. We get to see two men go “I can make him better” and then make each other objectively worse. Generational trauma’s gotta start somewhere I guess!

La Dolce Vita is about Yayoi, Kashiwagi, and Sera. It is... more or less them co-parenting Daigo for a few months because of some clan conflict bullshit that made Sohei figure it’d be safer for Yayoi and Daigo to be out of Tokyo. Kashiwagi is sent with her to keep an eye on her, and Sera is serving as a kinda envoy between them and Kazama and Sohei while everything’s dealt with. They become a polycule, there’s a lot of wishful thinking.... things definitely won’t turn out tragically in a x amount of years.

Also Kashiwagi is Daigo’s actual biological dad idc what anyone says

Pushing Up Daffodils is about Haruka post y6 and y7. Having been dealing with Kiryu’s presumed death since he faked it, she now has to deal with the fact that Kiryu’s actually still alive when he goes back to Okinawa. Because of the way she and Kiryu just cannot connect to each other and her frustration with his distant behavior towards her and the other kids, she goes back to mainland Japan to basically shake former Tojo and Omi people around until she can figure out how to fix her family, bc ooooh boy, Kazama actually fucked up Kiryu more than she - and anyone else - realized

It all goes back to Happier Than Ever, unsurprisingly

Finally.... Kiryu confronts his trauma.

#yakuza #rgg #ryu ga gotoku #kazuma kiryu #haruka sawamura #shintaro kazama #kazama shintaro #yumi sawamura #daigo dojima #yayoi dojima #osamu kashiwagi #masaru sera #shimano futoshi #futoshi shimano

[thetechnicolorphase]

MICROBIAL MASTERPOST

Welcome to Tally, USA!

A small, obscure town that has everything you could need, but never had anything prestigous to boast about. However, almost all of the town’s citizens happily claim that Tally is the perect place to be! Which is odd, considering just a year ago, the town lost a chunk of the population due to many groups moving to bigger, better cities…

The town is home to the crash site of an alien organism, which is the source of small microbes that invade and alter people’s minds and bodies, though the extent has yet to be documented because of how recent this is. Despite this threatening concept, everyone in Tally is infected and totally okay with it. Even if they’re losing their touch on humanity. Even if they’re losing control of their own thoughts.

Meet the characters!

RELATIONSHIP CHART

Cameron is the only person in Tally who has resisted the microbes. Everyone else has accepted their new life; Cameron refuses to let her humanity get taken away. Of course, the hivemind that has formed (from a combination everyone in Tally and the instincts encoded into the microbes) don’t really like that. Cameron is fighting, quite literally, against the entire town for her own free will. She’s not giving in on her own accord, no matter how many times Garrett tries to convince her or Eve tries to force her. She knows that in a way she has lost— she did get infected, and the whole town is linked to the back of her mind, but she refuses to transform. She knows any sign of weakness will just make it easier for her to crack under the growing pressure. But she’s recently been learning how to use these newfound transformations to her advantage…

Garrett is just a normal fellow who has completely embraced the microbes and loves his new life, with an entire town of friends to make and hobbies to participate in. He’s living the dream, he thinks, and doesn’t see an issue with any of it— and he’s not afraid to spread the microbes to anyone else (whether they want it or not) all in the name of happiness. He also has a crush on Cameron. A huge one, at that. He mentions to her that they were, in fact, dating. The hivemind can second that, because they would not shut up about it. Unfortunately, Cameron doesn’t remember it. She never really liked him romantically like that… she misses when he was really just a normal guy.

Eve is a passionate scientist and the one leading the research into these microbes and their source. However, she also is very blatantly evil and more interested in unethical experimentation and transformations with these microbes for her own reasons instead of truly making advancements in otherworldly organisms. However, her research proves vital to Cameron’s secret plan to make a cure for the infection! …However, no one in the town wants to be cured. And Eve has it out for Cameron, after Eve tried to get Cameron infected during the microbe apocalypse (which backfired horribly). Eve won’t stop until Cameron gives in, and she isn’t afraid to attack and force her into temporarily letting the microbes take over. Cameron is always on the run from Eve— not only is Eve friends with Garrett (who is blissfully unaware of Eve’s malicious plans and villainy towards Cameron), Cameron is now neighbors with Eve. Worst neighbor ever. (Read more about Eve here!)

The Source

Crashed down in summer 202X, The Source of the microbes is a confusing thing to everyone in Tally, to say the least. Sure, they’ve all been infected by its microbes, and their minds are all linked through it. But otherwise… no one knows where it came from (other than outer space), its goals, how it survives, or if its part of a larger species. (These are all things Eve is trying to study.) It is able to kind of communicate using the hivemind made out of the town, and through instincts that the infected feel. But only Cameron knows its true nature and its personality— and boy, is it inconsistent. One minute, it helps Cameron make sense of how her body has changed, and then the next it is attempting to invade her mind and control her body. She hates it so much, and is determined to get rid of the source once and for all.

On the opposite end, Garrett has a strong connection to it; claiming that it is “cool”, and he blindly follows whatever it and the hivemind says to do. He even relocated it to an attic above a local bookstore, letting its spores spread into Tally’s sky through roof windows. He sits with it, talks to it, and has spruced up the attic into a ‘second home’ of sorts. Why he is so attached to it, he won’t say; he claims it is because it “needs enrichment”, but Cameron begs to differ.

Other Links

Playlists: Cameron, Garrett, Eve Pinterest Board Art Tag

#my art #ocs #microbial #sorry this is so long but this story has a lot of lore LOL!! #hope everyone enjoys.. microbial is the 1 story i feel ok about sharing so much lore bc i dont plan to make it a tv show lmao #cameron #garrett #eve

[countrymusiclover]

37 - The Mikaelson Grandchild

Part 38

Family is More than Blood

@secretdreamlandmentality

I wasn’t sure what time it was. I just knew that it must be really late since the kids are all asleep in their bedrooms of the mansion. Walking through the hallway I halted in my tracks outside the younger one's door. Rapunzel and Charming were each asleep in their own separate cribs. “They sure are far more adorable when they’re asleep.”

“Hey, what are you doing up?” Whipping my head around I saw Klaus standing behind me with no shirt on and just some shorts on.

He responded by wrapping his arms around my waist from behind. “I was enjoying a restful night’s sleep until I went and found my wife’s side of the bed empty. Would you care to tell me why you’re up watching them?”

“I just couldn't sleep. With the girls now adults and Henrik growing up so fast I don't want to miss any moments with them.” I answered his question.

Klaus nodded, resting his chin on my shoulder closely watching them sleep too. He didn't have to admit it for his wife to know that he would carry them around all day if he could. He would do everything in his power to make sure he got to watch his younger kids grow up unlike how things happened with the triplets. “I know why you're watching them, Rae. I don't want to lose any time with them.”

“It's not just that, Nik.” Spinning around on my feet I met his gaze.

He lowered his gaze to mine. “Then what else is troubling you?”

“What if I can’t be there for them like I was with Henrik and the girls. I mean now we are running an entire school for supernatural creatures. I just am afraid that this will consume my time and I’ll miss out on things.” I admit to him weakly.

Klaus grabs my shoulders gently. “Raelyn, that is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. You are nothing but the best mother in the world.”

“You really feel that way?” I asked him through tears that had slipped down my face.

He nodded his head. “Yes I 100% feel that way. You are a wonderful mother and headmistress.”

“Thank you, Nik. I just don’t want to miss out on the big moments in any of our children's lives.” I laid my head on his chest staring at my sleeping twin babies.

He kissed the crown of my heart, bending my forehead down so he could do so. “You’re welcome, Rae.” He draped one arm over my shoulder looking at his sleeping kids.

Rapunzel rolled over on her side and Charming was sucking on his thumb. I intertwined my freehand with my husband's knowing that no matter what we wouldn’t let anyone keep us from our kids ever again. We had gone through hell and back for one another. Meaning we would do anything to see our children grow up with us by their sides.

Rushing through the hospital doors every single member of the Mikaelson family was in a panic over Alina’s baby coming. None of us thought it would happen tonight. I rushed forward to the front desk seeing a nurse sitting there. “Excuse me, we need a doctor. My daughter is going into labor.”

“We will try and get a doctor right away. But it is very late at night.” She explained.

Klaus moved around me grabbing the woman by her shirt compelling her. “You will get the best doctor around immediately and you will put great care in my daughter and the baby she is about to deliver!”

The nurse scrambled out of the desk leaving us alone. It took only a few minutes before we were given a room. Jackson helped Alina up into the bed and she winced holding her stomach meaning the contractions had started. “Ugh! How bad was it for you mom?”

“Oh baby…uh my experience involved witches trying to sacrifice you all for your magic.” I crossed my arms over my chest leaning in the doorway. Klaus had the babies in the lobby with Henrik. My brother and Hayley had been called too.

Alina winced, throwing her head back against the pillows. “Oh God!”

“Ms. Keener, I was notified by the nurse. And she said you are almost ready to push.” A red headed nurse came in the room holding a chart.

Jackson held onto his wife's hand. “How bad will it be?”

“Given that it's her first child I would say it might not be very comfortable. Now we need to talk about who are the two going to be in the room with you?” The nurse looked around the room seeing me, Missy, Hope and Jackson all in the room.

Alina croaked through some tears. “Mom…can it be you and my sisters?”

“Oh ma'am we don't normally allow-”

I cut the nurse off short, grabbing her by the shoulder compelling her. “You aren't going to worry about this. Now go get the doctor please.”

“I'll wait in the hallway with your dad if that’s okay?” Jackson asked his wife, kissing Alina’s forehead after she nodded yes in agreement.

He left the room at the same time the doctor came in with the nurses. She was sat in the position on the bed and I had tied her hair up in a bun so it wasn’t in her way. Missy and Hope were on either side of her bed and I stood by Hope. “Okay, you're ready to push now Mrs. Keener.” The doctor declared sitting at the end of the bed.

“Lina, you're gonna be okay and so is the baby.” I attempted to reassure her by being able to hear the infant heartbeat inside of her.

The contractions started coming closer together when she gave some of her first few pushes. My heart started banging against my chest and I already felt tired. "It's starting to come out, Alina. Just a few more big pushes."

Hope and Missy winced sharply when she squeezed their hands even tighter. I moved closer to her on the bed reaching out to touch her for comfort knowing this had to be hard. Sweat was sticking to her forehead. "I can't do this, mom…I can’t!"

“Yes you can, sweetheart.” I touched her arm and I saw my hand turning red.

Alina winced. “Agh! Mom.” I shut my eyes tightly seeing a bad memory flash through my mind.

Shutting my eyes tightly I revealed my fangs out from inside my mouth slamming my hands on the wooden floor needing to feel the magic in my blood. “Magia tollux de terras…Magia tollux de terras….Magia tollux de terras!”

I tried to fight against her but her hands turned red siphoning my strength away from me. “Valerie, let me go…aaagh!” I moaned in pain collapsing to the wooden floor in front of the other heretic.

“Ah Alina, I'm sorry.” I yanked my hand away and stepped back against the wall beginning to feel uneasy.

She bared my teeth doing one final push that took the last of her energy that she had left. An infant's cry filled the room where she threw her head back onto the pillows. Gulping a lump down my throat I slowly controlled my breathing while the nurse wrapped the baby in a blanket handing them to my daughter. "Congratulations, you have a baby boy. Have you thought of a name?"

“We have but..I want Jack in here before I say the name.” Alina cradled the baby against her chest.

The nurse nodded, stepping out of the room. “I'll go get them.” She came back in with Jackson and the others.

“Alina, are you okay?” Jackson immediately went over to her, covering his face with his hands letting some tears slip out. “Oh my god..what's his name?”

“Xavier Thor Keener.” Alina declared with a smile on her face.

Klaus stands in the doorway he went to touch me. He reaches down, intertwining my hand with his. “Raelyn -ah!” He winced where I moved my gaze down quickly where I could see our hands were red together.

“Nik genius! I'm sorry, I'm sorry.” I apologized, yanking my hand away from his slowly walking backwards away from him in the hallway. “I…I should go.”

Klaus turned on his feet sensing that something wasn't right with me at this moment. “Rae, what’s wrong, love?”

“I just need to go now…” I spun on my feet vamping down the hallway until I was outside in the parking lot. Pressing my hands on the hood of the car I felt a tightening in my chest. “No, no, no. You're stronger than this….The Hollow is gone. You can control yourself.”

Someone vamped behind me and I didn't need to turn around to know who it was. “Raelyn, what the hell was that back there?”

“I didn't mean to hurt you…I didn't mean to hurt Alina either. I…I just needed some air so you can go back inside and see our grandchild. I'll be right back in there.” Holding my hands up I croaked through tears keeping a distance from my own husband.

He stepped forward sensing that I wasn't in my right mind at the moment. “Look, you're just overwhelmed. You'll be fine when you go in there and see our grandson.”

“No! Klaus, I can’t be around people right now. I’m gonna go back to the mansion and just tell Alina I’m sorry for leaving early.” I sniffed through some more tears vamping away from the parking lot before he could say anything. Klaus just stared off in the distance of where his wife was where he ran his hands through his hair, trying to process everything.

I wasn’t sure what time it was or how long it had been since I had been home back in the mansion. Walking through the mansion I went downstairs into the basement knowing what I needed was done there. Since we had young kids I didn’t feel it was safe to have many weapons around for the twins sake. Opening the cabinet door I wasn’t sure what made me keep it, maybe it was because I always thought that I would get my revenge on Kai sooner. “Fructose ispiritus…” I mumbled under my breath clutching the hunting knife in both hands feeling my magic slipping away into the blade.

“Raelyn!” Whipping my head around I stumbled into the shelves seeing my husband standing on the wooden steps. “Bloody hell what are you doing down here?”

I lowered the knife down to just my right hand changing the subject. “How’s our daughter and grandson?”

“They’re fine. Have to stay in the hospital for a couple of days. Now why do you have a knife and where did you find it?” He asked me coming closer until we were almost chest to chest.

I held onto the blade tightly lifting it up in my hands seeing my reflection in it. “It’s the knife Kai stabbed Jo with. The same hunting knife that contained her magic until the night they merged again.”

“What did you do?” Klaus questioned.

“I put my magic away for safe keeping. I know that we defeated the Hollow but I am not in my right mind, Nik. I…I accidentally siphoned from you and Alina without even realizing it. I can’t trust myself right now especially with magic. So…I put it away in here.” I clutched the knife again laying it down on the freezer beside me brushing past my husband.

Klaus went to grab my arm but I vamped away from him to the top of the stairs knowing he would try and convince me otherwise that I was fine when I knew that I wasn’t at the moment. “Rae…wait a second.”

“My magic will only come out of the knife when I willingly want it too. This is my decision, Klaus and you can’t change my mind.” I left him there without another word and his eyes fell on the knife beside him.

Comments really appreciated ❤️

#family is more than blood #klaus mikaelson x oc #tvd fanfiction #klaus mikaelson x reader #tvd fandom #klaus mikaelson x reader fanfiction #tvd #tvd x reader #klaus mikaelson fic #klaus mikaelson x witch reader #klaus mikaelson fanfiction #indiana evans #jackson keener #oc : raelyn lane #oc : alina mikaelson #oc : missy mikaelson #hope mikaelson #tvd fic #tvdu #tvd universe #britt robertson #madelyn cline #legacies fanfiction #legacies #wattpad fanfiction #ask box is open for feedback #comments really appreciated #tvd siphon #tvd heretic #klaus mikaelson x y/n

[ghostballcheese]

WELCOME HOME OCS!!!!?!? (≧∀≦)~

I reposting this from my Instagram cause I’m not waiting till I have new drawings of them to share on my tumblr

Anyway gummy is the green one Rex is the red one and bitsy is the blue

Gummy is mostly the level headed member but it doesn’t make him any smarter or less “devious” but he’s a lot more shy and a people pleaser gummy is loyal to Rex and bitsy to hell and back he treats bitsy like his own little sister/daughter making her food and cutting up her grapes to prevent choking gummy found and took in bitsy when she was just a pup he and Rex have been co parenting her since. Gummy he treats Rex like a bickering husband nagging and babying him but he really does want the best for him Rex and gummy fight but they know eachother best

*･゜ﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･'_φ(･_･ )'･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*

Rex is impulsive reckless and quick to anger Rex wants to believe he’s the mastermind of the group but his crazy inventions and schemes just set them back more when he lets his vendettas against Wally get ahead of him he pulls gummy and bitsy along for the ride. Rex’s relationship with bitsy is alot more low key publicly but rex would kill someone for her rex understands alot of what bitsy goes through with other children knowing what it’s like to be mistreated for not acting normal he sees his younger self in her and doesn’t want that young innocence snuffed out. Rex tells himself he only sees gummy as a side kick and assistant but he really does feel more than that like the worlds best work husband even through gummies nagging rex knows he does care so rex tries to take care of him too in his own way even if that way is something like denying the blueberry tarts that magically appeared beside his bed side was made by him

ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ

Bitsy is quiet young creative and feisty being raised by gummy and Rex bitsy seems too copy a lot of her guardians traits and mannerisms, bitsy can talk but is very often chooses to stay mute only feeling fully comfortable talking verbally with Rex and gummy. Gummy is the person bitsy goes to when they’re upset or overwhelmed seeing him as a safe place overall a loving father figure but they won’t admit it. Bitsy is Rex’s hype man for his horrible plans even with gummies protest bitsy will follow through with whatever rex says cause she looks up to him as the smartest coolest guy in the world bitsy is happily to call rex her favorite.

☆ ☆*:.｡. o(°▽°)o .｡.:* ☆ ☆

Sorry this is incredibly long but I really love these guys so damn much I will try and post more about them soon if anyone is interested especially a relationship chart with the rest of the neighborhood

Here is some of the old concept art for em ((rip my old drawing of Wally it’s so bad))

[thesinglesjukebox]

CALVIN HARRIS FT. ELLIE GOULDING, "MIRACLE"

Some of us believe in miracles, some of us don't...

[5.84]

Taylor Alatorre: This song made me check if my computer was Y2K compliant. This song made me surf the alt.politics newsgroup to find out the date of the next WTO conference. This song made me "borrow" my weird friend's Prima strategy guide for Sid Meier's Alpha Centauri. This song made me call up my local PBS station to see if it had any plans to air episodes of Serial Experiments Lain. This song made me print out and annotate the lyrics to my illegally downloaded copy of NOFX's The Decline EP. This song made me contemplate making an "Acceptable in the 90's" pun. This song re-taught me HTML.</br> [9]

Leah Isobel: I need Kingdom Hearts AMVs set to this song and I need them immediately. [8]

Jonathan Bradley: It's vintage trance rather than blockbuster eurodance, but Calvin Harris's '90s pastiche is more dead-on than anything found on the Planet of the Bass. Precisely, it's a dead-on recreation of "Children" by Robert Miles, though perhaps Ellie Goulding has been recruited to provide a point of differentiation. It took one-and-a-half listens to remind my that the odd warpings of her cellophane voice go from novel to vertiginous very quickly; they might be more welcome here if they were either less glassily pristine or more. The breakbeat at the end is its own work of miniature history: the years going on and club trends shifting to drum and bass. [6]

Edward Okulicz: When I first heard this song I was sure it must be a sped-up remix thing a la Robin Schulz/Oliver Tree's "Miss You". How could it not have been? It's just so much. I would suggest that if they want to squeeze any more virality out of this song, they might get some mileage by slowing it down. But then it might lose that tasty early 00s UK mainstream chart dance-pop energy it's channelling so well. [6]

Hannah Jocelyn: This gets a [6] because the way Ellie Goulding sings "Oh No" makes me think of Webcomic Name. But also because Goulding sounds the most like herself she has in years, after eras upon eras of producers wasting her fascinating vocal timbre. How many vocalists have a soprano voice that husky? How many have that weird vibrato? Goulding's voice already sounds sped-up before Harris even touches it, and if it is sped up, I need to hear the version of "oh no" that sounds like "MacArthur Park." [6]

Crystal Leww: Calvin Harris is like the cat with nine lives of EDM, having gotten his start during the days of freaking bloghouse, blowing up during peak girly-ass EDM, continuing to thrive through the UK pop-house era, and sliding and funk waving bouncing through the late-aughts. I thought that finally he would retire to hitting the play button on prerecorded headlining sets in Vegas and Ibiza, but alas, he's hopped on trance during a time when it's back, baby. Trance's grand return is something that's been building with a very specific set of underground dance nerds for a while, in a bunch of different formats (see: the hypertrance crew, the hard trance pop song edits, and the latest point of arrival for PC Music/-adjacent gang), and Calvin Harris takes it all the way to UK #1. "Miracle" joins him back up with Ellie Goulding, who was one of his best collaborators during the peak girly-ass EDM era (twice). Goulding's vocals have always felt like an intimate whisper - they're there and they emote, but they never overwhelm - perfect for a track that needs to speed and glide on the clouds. This may be a sanded down, corners smoothed out version of whatever is happening in the underground but damn if Calvin hasn't always been good at making a hook. [6]

Nortey Dowuona: Fuck Calvin Harris and anyone who wants him to make EDM. [3]

Scott Mildenhall: In lesser hands, this would be a facsimile, losing all joy in a vain search for an excuse to exist. In the hands of experts, it is joy afresh. "Miracle" is at one with its euphoric essence, granting it the space to diffuse and reveal itself not as pastiche, but as a reminder of the power of piano presets. Ellie Goulding in trance alien mode is the perfect fit: human, but not distractingly so. [8]

Wayne Weizhen Zhang: I listened to this song twice this year, both times in the passenger seat of my middle aged uncle after not having seem him for years, stuck in traffic in Shanghai, singing along with broken English and appropriately and awkwardly bumping our heads. He thought it bumped. [6]

Ian Mathers: I can't remember if I've ever felt dismay when the beat comes in before, but on first listen that's exactly what happened. I'm not even sure why! It's not like I was much enjoying the song before that; maybe it just suddenly seemed clear this was going to be exactly what I'd expect from the combination of these two artists, neither of whom I love. It felt like I could have predicted the rest of the song from that point, and that's kind of how it played out. [3]

Jacob Sujin Kuppermann: I love dumb dance pop -- My favorite Madonna song is "4 Minutes"! This is too dumb even for me. How do you even do that? [3]

Katherine St Asaph: This kind of pop-trance was already a massively guilty pleasure for me because of the accumulated secondhand disgust of trance purists. "Miracle" has an additional source of guilt in being a pop-trance track by Calvin Harris, who has been around long enough that his releasing a Robert Miles rip this hacky has to be either condescension or a bit. Clearly I have no standards. [9]

Alfred Soto: Give me more anonymous dance tracks like "Miracle," which it isn't but it will do. Jessie Ware would do well to cast off her pearls before the swine who helped perpetuate her approximation of failed euphoria. [7]

Aaron Bergstrom: We have DJ Sammy at home. [3]

Joshua Minsoo Kim: What the hell... this literally ends right as I'm starting to believe how good it is? [4]

Brad Shoup: Feels like I should be rating the progressive-trance remix in my head, one that's 12 minutes long, shamelessly milks the piano decay and pushes Goulding to match the urgency of the BPM. She's as centered as ever, despite Harris's breakneck rave tempo: nearing the end, he tosses out some breakbeat like an anchor. But in my head, it's still going. [6]

Thomas Inskeep: I know I should be accustomed to it in 2023, but when I come across someone such as Harris who clearly has zero musical integrity, who'll do anything for hits -- well, it still catches me off-guard. And no one hops from one dance/pop trend to another faster than Harris. (Allow me to remind you that his 2007 album I Created Disco was pretty good!) Which is all to say that I shouldn't be surprised to hear "Miracle" hopping on the '90s trance revival bandwagon. He's got the ability to make it sound right, but by no means does that make this good. I disliked '90s trance at the time, and find it even more loathsome now as a big-budget no-ideas Hollywood sequel. Goulding could literally be any other female singer, as generic and over-processed as her vocals are here - and she's never been the most (ahem) distinctive singer to begin with. Truly, almost impressively awful. [1]

Will Adams: In our 2022 Amnesty post-mortem, I wrote about Romy's "Strong" and how trance music had been bubbling up in the pop landscape. Fast forward a year, and now we have mainstream acts -- Tove Lo, Icona Pop, David fucking Guetta -- all dialing up the tempos and the sawtooth synths. I should've known Calvin Harris -- who has contorted himself to align with the electronic genre du jour for over fifteen years -- would hop on the train, but "Miracle" still came as a welcome surprise. I spent better part of my tenure at the Jukebox yelling about how much I love trance, and this is no different. In the tradition of euro-trance classics, there are, at most, two key elements at play: the Robert Miles piano; the lyric "are you too cynical to believe in a miracle?" The rest is routine: the accelerated heartbeat BPM, a feather-light vocal from Goulding, reverb galore, all in service of creating that dream-like state on the dancefloor, when you close your eyes but still feel the strobe lights on you. [7]

Jackie Powell: I'll preface this by saying "Miracle" was my top song this year. When Spotify wrapped told me what I predicted was true, I wasn't surprised. "Miracle" was a song that stuck with me throughout the good and the bad in 2023. It was with me when I couldn't get out of bed, when I was driving or walking to my destination, when I was exercising, when I was transcribing an interview, and even when I was writing. I'm not the only one who proclaimed that the third Calvin Harris and Ellie Goulding collaboration was an addictive listen. It's an earworm. It's meant to be looped. Calvin Harris knows how and when to introduce new sounds, something that happens from the first verse right into the second chorus. Those introductions stimulate the brain and since I've listened to the track so many times, I can anticipate each dynamic shift and new sound that arrives. I feel like a conductor when I know exactly when the "boots and cats" percussion finally hits. The lyrics aren't really groundbreaking on this track and they aren't supposed to be. To enjoy "Miracle" at its fullest, the appreciation comes in the diverse sounds, and its velocity. Hat tip to Chromatica producer BURNS who provides the listener with a similar type of movement and constant tempo changes following the drop in "Rain on Me." But that is to say, the most stunning part of the "Miracle" experience isn't what makes it the most addicting. It's Goulding's vocals. Not only does the melody written in give her the freedom to use her voice at its most natural, but this is a song that not many other pop artists could pull off convincingly. You want to know what her voice is going to do next because it's so unpredictable. This is a track that is exemplary of the fact that Goulding is a generational talent, her unique timbres and range aren't contained but rather are given a space to play. And if you can't hear that alongside techno and Eurodance beats, have no fear: Harris and Goulding put out a "Church version" of Miracle, stripping back until this version is truly all about Goulding. There's a euphoric sound when she's harmonizing with herself during the second verse. It's so satisfying and soothing. It's so stupefying and even a bit moving. [10]

#calvin harris #ellie goulding #music #pop music #music writing #music reviews #music criticism #the singles jukebox #Youtube

[naoyaslut]

Differences Ch. 11

authors note: here's a short chapter… i haven't had much time to write anything. i took way too many classes this semester so I am slowly dying. also this past Thursday I got rear-ended by some dipshit so I am dealing with the repercussions of his stupidity. my neck my back. T_T any who please enjoy this short chapter while I suffer with more homework.

pairings: naoya zenin x reader x toji fushiguro/jigoku (oc)

wordcount: 2.5k

warnings: treason!, mention of unknowingly poisoning pregnant reader, short chapter, profanity,

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9  10 | 11

It’d been at least a day since you last saw Toji or Jigoku, whatever the curse called himself nowadays. You’d been in bed, resting… and trying to tame the thoughts cruising through your head. It was almost as if you were looking through a kaleidoscope of different colors and beams of light blinding you from every direction.

He said that you were pregnant and scared the hell out of you. Naoya wasn’t here and until he returned, you didn’t want anyone to know of your suspected condition. Though, if you thought long and hard about it, it did make sense.

Your appetite was off the charts, you were always hungry. Even when you ate it seemed as if you weren’t satisfied. Your body ached for no reason in particular and you found yourself ill in the past when you weren’t sure what the cause was. Burying your face further into the down pillow you groaned under your breath as your stomach grumbled involuntarily. You were tired, exhausted, and afraid to leave your chambers in fear of running into Jigoku once more.

War, blood… and your own flesh in blood wanting to kill your husband and possibly your own would-be children. Nausea returned creeping from the pit of your belly crawling up your throat. Simply recalling his words causes your nerves to be wrung tight a sense of anxiety begins to wash over you.

You didn’t take notice of the door to your chambers opening, Lianne placing a hand softly on your shoulder. She gazed at you tenderly, offering you a soft smile.

“Lady Zenin… you’ve been in bed all day,” It was well after noon. You refused your breakfast choosing to instead sleep off the fatigue your body felt. “Would you like to eat something for lunch? Master Zenin will be very upset if I don’t feed you,”

Sighing under your breath, you nodded before pushing yourself up in bed. “Yes, that’s fine.. but something light please,”

You didn’t want to tell her that you weren’t feeling well. That would only cause more unwanted questions.

“I can dress, please have something prepared for me by the time I get to the kitchen.”

Lianne nodded with a smile and left your chambers to make preparations while you forced yourself out of bed to wash before dressing.

Making your way to the dining hall you sat at the large table alone. There was no one else in sight aside from a few servants walking back and forth dusting and cleaning the open area.

Lianne appeared momentarily, placing a small bowl of light broth on the table before you. It was filled with vegetables and what looked to be poultry, which you were grateful for.

You didn’t waste any time picking up the spoon in front of you and slowly began to eat the broth. The broth warmed you all the way down to the bones, your stomach grumbling in response when it hit your stomach.

It was light but flavorful, and the nausea you’d been experiencing earlier all but dissipated. The meal was delicious and more than welcome for your hunger.

“Did you want dessert, my lady?” Lianne asked, she was headed back to the kitchen, a curious look plastered on her face.

You simply shook your head in response offering her a weak smile.

“Maybe later, just this is fine.”

Lianne returned a smile and returned to the kitchen Emi passed her to enter the dining room on her way out.

Emi smiled sweetly at you before setting the silver tray on the dining room table. Stepping away from the table she turned to you, twisting her hands in one another in what seemed to be nervousness.

“My lady, would you like some tea?”

Even though you thought Emi was foul and you wanted nothing to do with her the gesture seemed at least a little bit genuine. And you would be sure that the tea would help with unsettling nausea that seemed to rest in the pit of your gut.

“Yes please, thank you…”

Emi smiled cheerily and reached back over to the tray to take hold of one of the empty teacups. She busied herself with pouring the hot tea from the teapot while Toji soundlessly entered the dining room.

His sudden appearance startled you, even more so as he took the empty seat beside you his dimming gaze sweeping over your face languidly.

“Good afternoon, lady Zenin, I feel as if I haven’t seen you in days,” Toji quipped, a faint smirk tugging at the corner of his lips.

Lianne entered the dining room once more, placing a bowl of soup in front of Toji and taking your near-empty bowl with her before turning back toward the kitchen.

“Good morning… I have been feeling under the weather,”

Toji chuckled under his breath, the silky-smooth sound causing the heat of embarrassment to creep up your neck.

Emi dropped three sugar cubes into the tea she had poured, stirring it slowly until they dissolved. Emi knew you loved your tea sweet, so she added another for good measure before sitting the cup down in front of you.

“Your tea, my lady,” Emi bowed slightly, turning to retrieve the empty tray in an attempt to return to the kitchen.

“Thank you,” reaching for the cup, you paused when a slightly bitter scent wafted up from your cup. You were expecting the gentle floral aroma that you normally smelled when you had your tea, but this was different. “Emi, is this different from my usual tea? It smells a bit… stale,”

Emi halted pressing the silver tray flat against her abdomen, her eyes growing wide in surprise at your question.

“Ah, yes my lady, it seems as if we are out of your favorite brew… but from what I’m told this one is just as delightful,” Emi forced a nervous smile, her eyes shifting from you to Toji where he was sending her a glare, his expression motionless and flat.

You again reached for your tea but paused as Toji put up a flat palm signaling you to wait. The air was tense and you could sense that Emi was becoming nervous.

“Then you drink it,” Toji suggested. His icy expression never changed a bit as he waited in silence, expecting her to avoid the cup.

Glancing down at the cup of tea still steaming, your eyes returned to Toji and then Emi who was backing away from the table once again.

“I-I’m not thirsty… Master Toji, I made it for Lady Zenin,” Emi pressed, avoiding Toji’s hardening gaze.

You were confused as to why Toji seemed to be so on edge and equally baffled by Emi’s odd behavior. Something was going on… did Emi do something to your drink?

“Then you’ll taste it, to be sure it’s safe for Lady Zenin won’t you?” Toji stood, grabbed the teacup, and walked around the table holding it out for Emi to grasp.

By this time Lianne and a couple of other maids from the kitchen had entered the dining room. Everyone stood quietly watching as the scene began to unfold.

Emi looked everywhere but at Toji, her eyes dancing over all the women in the room who was about to see her undoing.

“Master Toji- plea-“

The teacup shattering against a nearby wall got an audible gasp from all the workers in the room including you. “T-Toji!”

Toji ignored you as you rose from your seat, pulling the hem of your gown from underneath your feet while you stood behind him intent on stopping his angry outburst.

“Are you aware that it’s treason to try and poison the lady of the house?”

His words caused you to stop in your tracks and Lianne pulled you aside away from Toji as he continued to drill into Emi. Her hands still clutched the silver tray against herself a cold sweat beginning to form along her brow.

“I-I would never” Emi tried to intervene again, but Toji wouldn’t allow it.

Toji interrupted her once more workers and a few sentries crowded into the dining room to see what all the commotion was.

Everyone stood in silence, one of the guards speaking up to see what was going on.

“Master Toji, what’s going on?” The guard who spoke up was young, he had probably not been a guard of the estate very long. Maybe having graduated from his training before the others set out on their voyage.

Toji glanced over his shoulder, holding a hand up once more his expression very much like stone. “Stand by,”

Emi let out a ragged breath, took a step away from Toji, and began to curl in on herself before she began blubbering out apologies.

“Master Toji… I swear it on my own mother’s life… I did not intend to poison Lady Zenin… I ju-”

“And yet you’ve been doing it for months,” Toji pulled the Tanto at his hip from its sheath pointing it in Emi’s direction almost lazily. “Did you know that Lady Zenin is with child? Naoya’s heir grows within her womb, so technically you’ve tried to kill his beloved wife and his child. What do you have to say to that?”

Emi dropped the tray she’d latched onto in astonishment, her eyes wide and brimming with tears. Slowly, she made eye contact with you while retreating another step away from Toji. “S-she’s pregnant?”

Toji clicked his tongue in annoyance, sheathing his weapon and turning his back to Emi. He briefly glanced at the young guard before his gaze landed on you.

“Seize her and take her to the dungeons, until Naoya returns from his trip,” Toji held out a hand for you to take and began to guide you out of the dining room. “I’m sure he will want to deal with this one personally,”

The two guards wasted no time restraining Emi as she flailed uselessly yelling out apologies that were barely understood in between her sobs.

“No no, Lady Zenin I’m sorry! I didn’t mean it, honest! I didn’t know!”

The doors of the dining room slammed shut behind you and Toji as he guided you back to what you assumed were your chambers. His hand that had been firmly holding yours slowly migrated to your bicep as he pulled you along. You didn’t realize it, but you were slowing down giving him slight resistance as you paced through the halls.

“S-she was poisoning me..?” You asked incredulously, dread creeping into your chest nausea again beginning to churn in your belly.

How could you not have seen it sooner? Every time that Emi offered you tea, you’d become ill later in the night. It had already happened twice before, and you were just now realizing it. You were so caught up with everything else going on within the estate that you never gave Emi a second thought.

You knew she didn’t like you, but you hardly had any idea to this extent. Sighing in exasperation you glanced up at Toji, your voice shaking almost violently. The palm of your free hand covered your abdomen while Toji pried open the double doors to the bedroom you shared with Naoya.

“What if… whatever she was giving me hurt my baby…?” Your voice dropped to a whisper, as fear began to wrap around your heart squeezing it tight.

Toji ushered you into the room and made sure to close the doors behind both of you before he turned to you, brushing the hand along your abdomen aside. His large palm sprawled flat against the fabric of your gown the warmth from his fingertips seemingly seeping into your skin underneath.

Underneath those dim hues of his, you could see that spark of sanguine red, the color of blood underneath. He was in there. You weren’t sure if he was controlling Toji or if they were slowly melding into one being. It was a rare occurrence but even you had read about it in books dating back to ancient times.

“There’s nothing wrong with the child, if it were harmed or dead, you’d know it.” Toji removed his hand from your belly and took a step away from you to put a small gap between you. “I need to send a carrier pigeon to Naoya’s destination, he must be informed of the events that have transpired here at the estate,”

With that Toji turned, giving you his back for the second time today.

Without thinking, you grasped at the sleeve of his kimono to keep him here for a moment longer. You were afraid. Actually, you were terrified, that one of the women that were supposed to look after you had been slowly poisoning you this whole time.

“Wait… I” You stumbled over your words. You wanted to keep the knowledge that you were pregnant to yourself as long as possible and Toji had just announced it to everyone who had stayed back in the estate. “Please… don’t inform Naoya that I am pregnant, I didn’t want him to find out in this manner…” “There’s nothing we can do about it, now. He needs to know, it will only serve to get him back here as soon as possible anyway,”

He was right. He would find out sooner than later, even if it wasn’t from Toji. Releasing your hold on Toji’s sleeve you moved away to put a respectable distance between you. Perhaps Toji could sense your uneasiness because he had crowded you once more the fingers of his right curling around the nape of your neck to hold you in place.

You remained ramrod stiff in his hold as the heat of his breath gusted over your face and then the curve of your throat.

“Don’t worry, we’ll post guards outside of your doors 24-7,” His verdant eyes shined over once again, the faint glint of red passing over the iris’. “Lianne will be the only one allowed in your chambers and perhaps I’ll come to visit you again in the night to put you to sleep,”

You released a breath you didn’t realize you had been holding, the substantial amount of heat emitting from Toji’s body beginning to smother you. You felt… as if you were suffocating and as the seconds ticked by, he seemed to be further invading your personal space until his lips grazed your own.

A quiet knock at the door caused him to cease his actions, Lianne’s voice filling the deathly silent space a quick moment after.

“My Lady, it’s Lianne… I’ve come to check on you,”

Toji released you, turning for the double doors to pull them open and he left without another word.

Lianne watched as he turned down the corridor, before turning to you her eyes obviously confused. You looked tired, and drained and she could see it. She helped you to the bed and helped you sit down on the edge before kneeling in front of you.

“My lady… are you alright?”

#multichap fic #naoyax!femreader