#anyway!! sorry for taking like a week to answer this! and also for how messy it is lol

[michaeljoncarter]

hi okay i just followed u and i actually would love to hear if u have recs or thoughts on the other spectrum of lantern rings bc i saw ur one post abt the red lanterns and. tbh i do not know much abt them. or any of the colors really? but u also seem like u’ve read a lot of them and i do actually want to get back into reading comics so i figured i’d ask!

i am like… weirdly invested in the emotional spectrum & all the different lantern corps as a concept and have actually been wanting to make a sort of "intro" post to all of it for a while now, so thank you for finally giving me an excuse!

not really gonna get into any of my thoughts about any of it just because if i let myself start rambling, this will spiral into a 200k word long monstrosity and never actually get answered so! recs!

the good news is 99% of this was introduced in one big saga, so it's actually pretty straightforward & easy to get into. apart from the greens, the only two that were sortakinda introduced before the whole war of light era were the star sapphires & yellow lanterns, but they were both originally pretty different to how they are now

honestly, the older version of the yellow ring doesn't really matter all that much when it comes to the current version. i'm still gonna put a couple things where it shows up, but you could definitely pick up later comics without reading them and not be lost if you'd like to skip

on the other hand, i would suggest reading at least a little about the original star sapphire before jumping into the war of light era because it builds on & references back to the older comics quite a bit

Sinestro/Yellow rings:

Green Lantern (1960) #7, #9

Green Lantern (1990) #83 - 85 for the introduction of fatality

Green Lantern (1990) #131 - 136

Star Sapphire & the Zamarons:

Green Lantern (1960) #16, #26, #41, #73 - 74

Superman #261

Green Lantern (1960) #129

Green Lantern (1960) #178 - 190 is where the predator (which will come back later) is introduced, but the fact that the predator existed pre-blackest night isn't something you need to know to understand its later iteration. it's really only ever mentioned a couple times in passing, and to be honest, this whole arc is just... really not my favorite. you can absolutely skip if you find you're not having a good time with it

Green Lantern (1960) #191 - 192

Green Lantern (1990) #83 - 85, again, for fatality

Emerald Twilight (Green Lantern (1990) #48 - 50) is also really important to read if you want to be able to understand like... anything that happens later

less importantly, i'd also suggest checking out the original ion arc (Green Lantern (1990) #143 - 150). you won't be super lost or anything if you don't, but it'll provide a little context about wtf this ion thing everybody's talking about is

and LASTLY, black lanterns were a thing before Blackest Night. Blackest Night & Brightest Day and like 99% of what's here is pretty heavily based on Tales of the Green Lantern Corps #1 - 3 & its annuals. you don't have to read that before jumping into Blackest Night (i think i'd actually recommend waiting and coming back to it later), but if you're interested, it's definitely worth checking out!

and now, with all that out of the way, we can get into the johns/tomasi era & the actual point of this post lol

pretty much every single arc here is constantly jumping between about 3-4 different books, but instead of linking to a bunch of different reading lists, i'm just gonna put all the individual issues so everything's all in one place & hopefully easier to use as a reference, if anyone wants to do that... so this is going to be an obnoxiously long post! sorry about that!

ok! first and perhaps most controversially, Green Lantern: Rebirth. the dreaded parallax retcon, but it's kind of the foundation of all of this, so it's a must-read when it comes to the whole spectrum.

again, if you only read one thing from the older comics, let it be Emerald Twilight (Green Lantern (1990) #48 - 50) because Rebirth will really not make much sense without that context

next, i'd recommend jumping ahead a little and going ahead to read hal's origin (Green Lantern (2005) #29 - 35). you can wait and read it later if you want, of course, but it's just kinda shoved in the middle of a different arc later, and i really think it makes things flow a bit better if you just get to it up front instead

the first part of the green lantern & green lantern corps titles (Green Lantern (2005) #1 - 20 & Green Lantern Corps (2006) #1 - 13) don't have all that much to do with setting up the spectrum or the other corps, so if you're eager to just get straight to that, you can skip that

but if not and you want to read everything, be sure and check out Green Lantern Corps: Recharge, which is what sets up Green Lantern Corps (2006), before jumping into it!

Green Lantern (2005) #17 - 20 is the Mystery of the Star Sapphire arc that kicks everything off. from this point on, it's pretty much non-stop arcs spanning multiple books and more tie-ins than you've ever seen in your life

it's all very fun, but it is, quite frankly, annoying as hell to read. like i said, i'm gonna be listing it all out, but i'm gonna separate everything by arc and put the names of each because most of these have been collected into TPBs or omnibuses & if you can manage to track down that version, i'd HIGHLY recommend reading it that way to save yourself some frustration

Sinestro Corps War:

Green Lantern: Sinestro Corps Special #1

Green Lantern (2005) #21

Green Lantern Corps (2006) #14

Green Lantern (2005) #22

Tales of the Sinestro Corps: Parallax #1

Green Lantern Corps (2006) #15

Green Lantern (2005) #23

Green Lantern Corps (2006) #16

Tales of the Sinestro Corps: Cyborg Superman #1

Green Lantern (2005) #24

Green Lantern Corps (2006) #17

Tales of the Sinestro Corps: Superman-Prime #1

Green Lantern Corps (2006) #18

Green Lantern (2005) #25

Tales of the Sinestro Corps: Ion #1

Green Lantern Corps (2006) #19

Green Lantern (2005) #26 - 28 and Green Lantern Corps (2006) #19 - 28 are the epilogue of the Sinestro Corps War, including the Ring Quest Arc, the introduction of the alpha lanterns, and the prologue to Rage of the Red Lanterns. also, if you want to read hal's revamped origin (Green Lantern (2005) #29 - 35) here instead, this is where it was originally placed

Rage of the Red Lanterns:

Final Crisis: Rage of the Red Lanterns

Green Lantern (2005) #36 - 38

Agent Orange & Tale of the Black Lantern:

Green Lantern (2005) #39 - 42

Green Lantern (2005) #43

Sins of the Star Sapphire & Emerald Eclipse:

Green Lantern Corps (2006) #29 - 32

Green Lantern Corps (2006) #33 - 38

BLACKEST NIGHT:

ok, this is the big one. pretty much everything that was running at the time of this event did a tie-in for it, and as such, there are a lot of issues in the full reading order that aren't super necessary to read, as all that really happens is you get to see which rings went to which characters

i'm gonna be putting the less important tie-ins in italics. you can skip them & come back later if you want

Blackest Night #0 - 1

Blackest Night: Tales of the Corps #1 - 3

Green Lantern (2005) #44

Blackest Night #2

Green Lantern (2005) #45

Green Lantern Corps (2006) #39

Blackest Night: Batman #1

Blackest Night: Superman #1

Blackest Night: Titans #1

Blackest Night #3

Green Lantern (2005) #46

Green Lantern Corps (2006) #40

Blackest Night: Batman #2

Blackest Night: Superman #2

Blackest Night: Titans #2

Blackest Night #4

Green Lantern (2005) #47

Green Lantern Corps (2006) #41

Blackest Night: Batman #3

Blackest Night: Superman #3

Blackest Night: Titans #3

Blackest Night #5

Green Lantern (2005) #48

Green Lantern Corps (2006) #42

Justice League of America (2006) #39

Superman/Batman #66

Doom Patrol #4

Booster Gold (2007) #26

R.E.B.E.L.S. #10

Teen Titans (2003) #77

Adventure Comics (2009) #4

Outsiders (2009) #24

Blackest Night #6

Green Lantern (2005) #49

Green Lantern Corps (2006) #43

Blackest Night: Flash #1

Blackest Night: Wonder Woman #1

Blackest Night: JSA #1

Justice League of America (2006) #40

Superman/Batman #67

Doom Patrol #5

Booster Gold (2007) #27

R.E.B.E.L.S. #11

Teen Titans (2003) #78

Adventure Comics (2009) #5

Outsiders (2009) #25

Green Lantern (2005) #50

Green Lantern Corps (2006) #44

Blackest Night: Flash #2

Blackest Night: Wonder Woman #2

Blackest Night: JSA #2

The Atom and Hawkman #46

The Phantom Stranger #42

Starman #81

Power of Shazam #48

The Question #37

Catwoman #83

Weird Western Tales #71

Suicide Squad #67

Secret Six #17

Blackest Night #7

Green Lantern (2005) #51

Green Lantern Corps (2006) #45

Blackest Night: Flash #3

Blackest Night: Wonder Woman #3

Blackest Night: JSA #3

Green Arrow and Black Canary #30

Adventure Comics (2009) #7

Secret Six #18

Blackest Night #8

Green Lantern (2005) #52

Green Lantern Corps (2006) #46

Untold Tales of Blackest Night

Brightest Day:

there was a main Brightest Day book, but it's mostly just about the heroes resurrected in Blackest Night running around trying to figure out what to do now. you can read it if you want, of course, but it doesn't actually have much to do with the lantern corps, so we're ignoring it here

Green Lantern (2005) #53 - 62

Green Lantern Corps (2006) #47 - 48

Green Lantern: Emerald Warriors #1 - 7

Green Lantern Corps #49 - 52

War of the Green Lanterns:

Green Lantern (2005) #63 - 64

Green Lantern Corps (2006) #58

Green Lantern: Emerald Warriors #8

Green Lantern (2005) #65

Green Lantern Corps (2006) #59

Green Lantern: Emerald Warriors #9

Green Lantern (2005) #66

Green Lantern Corps (2006) #60

Green Lantern: Emerald Warriors #10

Green Lantern Vol. 4 #67

War of the Green Lanterns: Aftermath #1 - 2

Sinestro & The Secret of the Indigo Tribe:

Green Lantern (2011) #1 - 6

Green Lantern (2011) #7 - 10

Red Lanterns:

Red Lanterns #1 - 12

New Guardians & the beginning of the white lantern kyle arc:

Green Lantern: New Guardians #1 - 12

Rise of the Third Army:

Green Lantern (2011) #11 - 12, Annual #1, #0

Green Lantern Corps (2011) #0

Red Lanterns #0

Green Lantern: New Guardians #0

Green Lantern (2011) #13

Green Lantern Corps (2011) #13

Green Lantern: New Guardians #13

Red Lanterns #13

Green Lantern (2011) #14

Red Lanterns #14

Green Lantern Corps (2011) #14

Green Lantern: New Guardians #14

Green Lantern (2011) #15

Green Lantern Corps (2011) #15

Red Lanterns #15

Green Lantern: New Guardians #15, Annual #1

Green Lantern (2011) #16

Green Lantern Corps (2011) #16

Green Lantern New Guardians #16

Red Lanterns #16

Green Lantern Corps (2011) Annual #1

Wrath of the First Lantern:

Green Lantern (2011) #17

Green Lantern Corps (2011) #17

Green Lantern: New Guardians #17

Red Lanterns #17

Green Lantern (2011) #18

Green Lantern Corps (2011) #18

Green Lantern: New Guardians #18

Red Lanterns #18

Green Lantern (2011) #19

Green Lantern Corps (2011) #19

Green Lantern: New Guardians #19

Red Lanterns #19

Green Lantern Vol. 5 #20

Green Lantern Corps Vol. 3 #20

Green Lantern: New Guardians #20

Red Lanterns #20

aaand this is unfortunately where things kinda start to go downhill imo--for the main green lantern book, especially. you can, of course, read everything if you want, but tbh Red Lanterns, Sinestro, and sometimes Green Lantern Corps were the only things i actually enjoyed reading & would really recommend from this point on, so i'm gonna be skipping a bit

Red Lanterns #21 - 23 is guy's red lantern coup d'etat arc, and Green Lantern Corps (2011) #21 - 23 is kinda build up to The Fatality Thing that comes in the Uprising arc, and then we get to Lights Out, which tbh i just straight up do not like, but we're gonna put it here anyway because it's important to a lot that comes later (unfortunately)

Lights Out:

Green Lantern: New Guardians #22 - 23

Green Lantern (2011) #24

Green Lantern Corps (2011) #24

Green Lantern: New Guardians #24

Red Lanterns #24

Green Lantern (2011) Annual #2

Uprising:

Green Lantern Corps (2011) #25 - 30 is kinda prologue to this, including some actually fun weirdness with von daggle & the more covert/espionage side of the glc

Green Lantern (2011) #31

Green Lantern Corps (2011) #31

Green Lantern (2011) #32

Green Lantern Corps (2011) #32

Green Lantern (2011) #33

Green Lantern Corps (2011) #33 - 34

Red Daughter of Krypton (one of my favorite arcs to come out of this whole thing <3):

Supergirl (2011) #26 - 29

Green Lantern (2011) #28

Red Lanterns #28 - 29

Supergirl (2011) #30

Red Lanterns #30

Supergirl (2011) #31

Red Lanterns #31 - 32

Supergirl (2011) #32 - 33

Red Lanterns #33, Annual #1, #34

the beginning of the long-running "sinestro trying to regain custody of his child" arc:

Sinestro #1 - 5

Godhead:

New Gods: Godhead #1

Green Lantern (2011) #35

Green Lantern Corps (2011) #35

Green Lantern: New Guardians #35

Red Lanterns #35

Sinestro #6

Green Lantern (2011) #36

Green Lantern Corps (2011) #36

Green Lantern: New Guardians #36

Red Lanterns #36

Sinestro #7

Green Lantern (2011) #37

Green Lantern Corps (Volume 3) #37

Green Lantern: New Guardians #37

Red Lanterns #37

Sinestro #8

Green Lantern Annual (2011) #3

Green Lantern Corps (2011), Green Lantern: New Guardians, and Red Lanterns all only had 3 issues left after this arc ended, and they're all... fine? i'd recommend reading them just because, y'know, why not? and then thaaat's pretty much it

after this, we're just left with the main title, which continues to be very meh imo, and Sinestro, which is actually pretty good. i'd say just stick with that, read Sinestro #9 - 23, and then join us all in Rebirth & hoping dc gets its shit together and actually does something interesting with all this again sometime soon

#ask #tiramisusam #LONG post #being a johns hater who's also super into all this is so tragic. feel like the comic book version of a class traitor #anyway!! sorry for taking like a week to answer this! and also for how messy it is lol #i didn't really get into rebirth because well. mostly because this was already SO LONG honestly #but also tbh i just don't like most of it #Green Lanterns wasn't bad (outside of how simon's characterized) #& that's pretty much the only compliment i have fr how things have been going since it started lmao #anyway umm. got kinda carried away here but hope it helps at all!

[steddieas-shegoes]

assistant to the dm, steve harrington

for @steddielovemonth prompt 'secretly studying nerd shit' rated t | 1,361 words | cw: mild language | tags: friends to lovers, getting together, d&d references (could be inaccurate since i don't actually play), banter that's also flirting

🐉🐉🐉🐉🐉🐉🐉🐉🐉🐉🐉🐉

"I just don't understand why you needed to borrow my character sheets. You don't even know what most of this means," Dustin said as he handed over the papers.

"I just need to see something," Steve replied, taking the papers and adding it to his mess of a kitchen table. Other character sheets were strewn all over, most filled out, but some empty. A couple of books were open on random pages, recognizable images of weapons and monsters visible to anyone who walked by.

"Why does it look like you're studying for a college degree in D&D?" Dustin asked.

Steve looked up at him, eyes blank, mouth in a straight line. "Because I finally got accepted to Indiana State. Go away."

"Fine! I want those sheets back though!" Dustin said as he left Steve to his studying.

Hours must have passed, the light outside turning to dusk before Steve thought to take a break. His head hurt, his vision was blurry, and he didn't feel any closer to understanding a god damn thing.

He thunked his head against the table, letting out pained groan as his head throbbed.

"Are you looking for something or have you decided to finally play with us?" Eddie's voice said directly behind him, making him nearly fall out of his seat. "Shit, sorry. Thought you heard me come in."

Eddie's hands were on Steve's arms, squeezing, centering.

Like he knew exactly what he needed to lose the slight hint of remaining panic left in his chest.

"I was just trying to figure out if there actual dragons in this game or if that was also made up," Steve said, sitting back and putting distance between them. He couldn't breathe when Eddie was touching him, which was often. He was starting to worry about oxygen deprivation to his brain. "Disappointed to find out the dungeons part seems like it's up to the DM."

"The whole thing is pretty made up, Stevie. That's the point," Eddie smirked, but it fell away when Steve turned back to the messy table. "Are you, like, wanting to play?"

And this is why he wanted to keep it a secret. Maybe he shouldn't have had everything spread out in the open like this, but he'd assumed he was safe in his own home. With the door locked. And with Eddie supposedly playing the Hideout tonight.

He looked back at Eddie. "Why are you here?"

"Dustin said something about you not answering the phone after he left hours ago and you seemed pissed off or something," Eddie shrugged. "Just wanted to check on you."

"The phone? It didn't ring." Steve didn't think so anyway. He had admittedly tuned his surroundings out entirely once Dustin was gone. "But it's Tuesday."

"Uh huh. It is Tuesday. How long have you been sitting at this table?"

"Ha. Funny." Steve rolled his eyes. "You play the Hideout Tuesdays. Tuesdays are for Corroded Coffin, Wednesdays are for dinner with Wayne, and Thursdays are Hellfire."

Eddie blinked at him. "Yes, usually that's true. But, wait. Sorry. You have my schedule memorized?"

"I mean, some of it, yeah. The parts where I know you won't be nearby or easily reached."

Steve knew it was ridiculous, but how the hell could he make sure he was safe if he didn't even know what Eddie was doing?

Eddie looked like he wanted to say something else about it, but must have changed his mind. He pulled out the chair next to Steve, turned it towards him, and sat down.

"So you've been studying this stuff for..." Eddie leaned in, eyebrows raised in silent question.

"I dunno. A few weeks. I didn't have most of the sheets until a couple days ago though," Steve gestured towards the papers spread out. "I still don't really get it."

"You've been studying for weeks? Stevie, why didn't you just ask me or any of the kids to help explain it?" Eddie almost sounded hurt. "I've been playing for half my life! And I've been a DM for half of that!"

Truthfully, Steve was trying to learn so he could have conversations with Eddie about the stuff he liked. That was basically lesson number one on how to get someone to like you, and Steve had already tried the music thing and failed.

He just wasn't that into the echo of loud guitars and angry drums.

He couldn't exactly ask Eddie to teach him everything and then turn around and try to use what he taught him to flirt with him. That was lame and embarrassing.

"Steve?" Eddie had his hand on Steve's leg, leaning in further towards Steve. He must've been trying to get Steve's attention while he was lost in thought. "I'm kidding. I mean, I wish you'd said something sooner, but if this is how you get into it, I'm not gonna stop you."

"I just wanted to surprise you."

Steve could hear how pitiful that sounded, could hear the whine in his voice that he wasn't able to pull his plan off. As if Eddie would even care! Eddie was the most easygoing, laidback, chaotic person he'd ever met. He would just be happy to have someone else in his little club.

"Surprise me? For what?"

He was also incredibly slow when it came to feelings.

"Because I want to spend more time with you! Because I like you! Because I want you to like me!" Steve tried not to sound frustrated, but his headache was turning into a real problem, and he was tired, and sick of hiding things. Robin told him to just be honest, so he was. "I wanted to surprise you the next time Hellfire was here and have all this knowledge, but it's hard! I don't even know how you keep up with most of this, let alone all the characters? There's like...at least 800 options for how to use weapons and spells. I can't even remember half the races or classes or whatever. I don't even know if those are the same thing. And I keep getting distracted thinking about how you look when you stand at the end of the table and do one of those stupid accents."

"Are they stupid if they're this distracting?" Eddie was smirking, suddenly more confident than Steve had maybe ever seen him.

"They are stupid. That's why it's distracting. And I'm stupid for letting it get to me!" Steve leaned forward, put his head on Eddie's shoulder. The angle wasn't the best, but he didn't care. "You get to me so bad, Munson."

"You're kinda easy to get to, Harrington." Eddie's lips briefly pressed against the side of Steve's head. "Been waiting for you to catch up."

"What do you mean?" Steve pulled away. "I've been trying to get you to realize for months!"

"You came to one show at the Hideout. I think Robin's been to more shows and she's a lesbian."

"She told you?!"

"Steve, she spilled every secret she's ever had when she kept me company in the hospital. I think I know things you don't even know."

Steve let his head fall down against Eddie's shoulder again. "I should've known you were teaming up."

"I wouldn't call it that. She just wanted to look out for us," Eddie's hand cupped the back of Steve's head. "So what did you learn?"

"Probably nothing useful."

"Well, it's easier to be an active learner. I could use an assistant on Thursday if you want some hands on experience," Eddie's fingers scratched at Steve's scalp, melting his brain and making him feel like he was completely weightless. "If you just wanna watch, that can be arranged too."

"You don't let people watch," Steve mumbled against his shoulder, his weight sagging against Eddie.

"I think I can bend my own rule for my boyfriend, right?" Steve could feel Eddie's heartbeat quickening beneath his ear.

His face felt warm as he realized what Eddie was implying. "Only if your boyfriend can sit next to you."

"I think that can be arranged."

"Oh, and I'd like to trap Dustin's character."

Eddie snorted, kissed Steve's head again. "That can be arranged, too."

#steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #stranger things #steddielovemonth

[coloursparks]

Not Like That

Pairing: Sebastian Sallow x F!MC Summary: Things change over the summer holiday with Sebastian, and then things get messy. Might as well spend the first few weeks of your last year fighting about it. WC: 6.1k Notes: Oh god, the first fic I've written in like six years and I am sure it's shit. I am sorry if characterization is off. It takes me a minute?? I also have zero clue if I want this to be canon compliant or not so there's absolutely no mention of Anne or what happened! Also, no beta so please don't be too harsh. I just wanted to have fun writing a thing and hopefully someone else enjoys it!

“Don’t look at me like that.”

“How else am I supposed to look?” you asked Imelda. “Do you hear yourself talk?”

“Do you?” she shot back, giving you the same exasperated look you were giving her. “If you don’t say something about it soon, you’re going to lose your chance. I’m not sure I can hold them at bay much longer.”

“I don’t know what chance you think I should have,” you said, though you didn’t sound as confident about it. The fact of the matter was you knew exactly what Imelda was talking about, and she was right. You hated that she was right.

“Sallow’s come back a foot taller and just bigger and you aren’t the only one who’s noticed,” she pointed out. “Violet’s determined to slip him a love potion. I’ve been trying to tell her he’s already involved, but considering I can’t say who, it hasn’t worked all too well.”

“I hate her,” you muttered, feeling a prick of jealousy. 

“You hate anyone who so much as bats an eyelash at him,” Imelda pointed out. “You can save yourself the trouble but just telling him that you fancy him and snog in the upstairs of the Three Broomsticks already.” 

“Imelda!” 

“Or snog him somewhere else. I happen to quite like the upstairs of the Three Broomsticks for that sort of thing, but to each their own,” she said simply, shrugging. She was unashamed, and part of you envied her for it. 

“It’s not that simple,” you sighed, giving her a pleading look.

“And why not?”

“Because…because…” you stammered, trying to find a reason that would satisfy your friend. When none came to mind as she stared at you expectantly, you groaned and rested your head on your crossed arms on the table in front of you. “He’s going to have a right laugh at me, Imelda.”

“No, he will not,” she said, poking you in the shoulder. You looked up at her, already defeated and resigned to the fact that despite your years-long pining for Sebastian Sallow, nothing would ever come at it.

“What makes you so sure?” you asked.

“Because Sallow’s a lot of things, but he’s not that cruel. Besides, for all you know, he could be whining to Ominus about how much he fancies you but thinks he has no chance,” she pointed out. “Now, come on. We’ll be late, and Hecat swore to put me in detention if I was late again.”  The two of you stood from the table in the library where you had been sitting, gathering up your belongings before heading to the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom. 

“Why are you so late all the time anyway?” you asked curiously as you held open the door into Central Hall for her. 

“Flying,” she answered simply. 

Of course. It was Imelda - you should have known. 

___

“Mr. Sallow, why must you always duel in my classroom?” 

Professor Hecat was only just leaving her office as you and Imelda entered and seemed too busy repairing the collateral damage from Sebastian’s duel with Leander Prewett to notice the two of you sneaking to nearby seats. The room was righting itself as Sebastian raised his hands up to the professor, taking a few steps away from the dueling platform he had been standing on.

“Because, Professor, there isn’t another place where dueling is sanctioned,” he pointed out, his voice conveying innocence he didn’t possess. You rolled your eyes because you knew full well that dueling being sanctioned didn’t stop him from doing it. Crossed Wands meetings and plenty of adventures proved otherwise, and the look Hecat was giving him also showed she knew otherwise.

“Let’s see if we can make it through the term without you destroying my classroom, Mr. Sallow.”

“I’m sorry, Professor,” he said, raising his wand and muttering a hasty spell to repair the nearby broken desk. It righted itself in one piece, still smoking slightly. “It won’t happen again.” He shot her a smile before heading to a nearby seat. “Imelda, what are you doing here? I didn’t realize Quidditch players needed N.E.W.T.S. Defense Against the Dark Arts,” he chuckled as he leaned forward to look at her.

“I take no chances,” Imelda replied cooly. “You never know what an opponent will do to get ahead, and knowing how to unjinx a broom can’t hurt.”

“If you say so,” he said, still smiling as he shook his head. “And my favorite Hufflepuff returns. I was starting to wonder if you even still went here,” he joked, elbowing you gently in the arm. 

“No, still here,” you chuckled awkwardly, trying to rub the tingling feeling out of your arm where he had touched you. It was ridiculous, letting a simple touch get to you, but everything was ridiculous when he was involved. 

Before either of you could say anything else, Professor Hecat was calling for the class to focus on her so she could teach. You tried your best to pay attention, but the fact you were next to Sebastian was nothing short of distracting. Words came out of the professor’s mouth and you tried to hold onto them, only for them to slip through your fingers because Sebastian was making that focused face he always made when he was trying to learn something, brow furrowed and the tip of his tongue poking out as he scribbled on parchment.

It was the first time you had really gotten to see him up close. Sebastian had certainly grown over the summer holiday – he was broader and if there were any doubts, the way his sleeves were pulled taut over his arms put them to rest. He was a head taller than last year, and you cursed him mentally for somehow having even more freckles. He had left sixth year looking more like a boy and returned for seventh year looking like a man, and you certainly hadn’t been the only one who noticed. 

Part of the reason why Sebastian had joked about not knowing if you had come back to Hogwarts was that you hadn’t been able to get his attention before now. You had seen him on the Hogwarts Express, but he and Ominis had been having such an intense-seeming conversation that you hadn’t wanted to interrupt. You had tried to end up in the same carriage on the way up to the school, but before you could tell him that you had room in your carriage, Violet McDowell was pulling him into hers with Sebastian tugging Ominis in too.

Dejected and a little annoyed, you had ridden up to the school in huffy silence with Imelda and Poppy. 

Outside of trying to wave at Sebastian from the Hufflepuff table after the sorting, you hadn’t bothered to get his attention. He was clearly enjoying the attention of the girls that somehow seemed to find every free space around him. You could have sworn that you saw Imelda notice the upset look on your face, but you decided to jab at your roast potatoes instead of looking at the Slytherin table any longer. 

It was the bell to signal the end of class that shook you from your stupor. You had zoned out watching Sebastian, who blissfully hadn’t noticed the attention. Unfortunately for you, Imelda certainly had. She gave you a look that very clearly said that her thoughts from your earlier conversation hadn’t changed. Luckily, before she could say anything about it, Sebastian was ducking in the way.

“Imelda, Quidditch,” he said quickly, noticing he needed to head her off talking about something, even if he didn’t know what it was.

“What about it?” she asked, raising an eyebrow as she packed her belongings.

“Tryouts,” Sebastian said simply. “Want to know when they’re happening. Decided to finally try out.” When Imelda gave eyed him suspiciously, like she thought she was walking into a trap of some kind, he sighed and added, “I was told to do something more productive and sanctioned with my time.”

“You’re serious?” Imelda asked. “What position?”

“Beater. You need those, right?”

“We do,” she agreed. She glanced over at you, sighed, and then looked back to Sebastian. “I’m going down to the pitch before Potions if you want to practice before tryouts and I can give you tips to improve.” 

You wanted to laugh. As much as Imelda probably wanted you and Sebastian alone together so you could confess the feelings you still wouldn’t admit to, her love of Quidditch won out. Secretly, you were thankful for it.

“Do you want to join us?” Sebastian asked hopefully, looking over at you. “Get a leg up on your Slytherin competition.”

“Hufflepuff still wouldn’t stand a chance,” Imelda pointed out, and you rolled your eyes.

“No, I’ve got Divination,” you told him, choosing to ignore Imelda’s teasing. 

“You’re still taking that?” 

You shrugged in response. “I like Professor Onai. Plus, someone has to keep Natty company,” you explained. “You two don’t get bloodied up too bad without me.”

“Don’t worry, if Sallow’s any good, his pretty face will stay pretty,” Imelda laughed, and you knew that she was trying to get a rise out of you. Sebastian, thankfully, seemed a bit preoccupied with the comment himself to notice the color rising in your cheeks. You excused yourself with the excuse of not wanting to be late to class before things could get any more awkward.

____

In the weeks after, you had seen more of Sebastian, and then suddenly a lot less. Unsurprisingly, he ended up making the Quidditch team. With the beginning of the Quidditch season coming up, Imelda had them practicing at all hours, meaning that her time to try and press the issue of your feelings for Sebastian was blissfully cut short. 

Luckily, you could at least still spend time with other friends who either didn’t notice what Imelda had or at least had the grace not to press you about it. Without Sebastian around, you seemed to find Ominis on his own more, and the nice part about spending time with him was that he didn’t seem to give a damn about your romantic life nor did he want to divulge on his own the way Poppy and Adelaide had been as of late. You were happy for your friends, but the constant questions about your own because the two Hufflepuffs weren’t as well-versed in your emotions as Imelda was getting to be a little much.

“What do you think you’ll do once you graduate?” 

Ominis had been talking about what his own plans were as the two of you walked toward Hogsmeade. The two of you were friends, sure, but more because you had a mutual friend than because you spent any significant time together before now. You were catching up on the more interesting things now that the two of you were spending time together without Sebastian. 

“When we did career conversations with our Heads of House, I thought I wanted to work for the Ministry but something about it doesn’t feel right anymore,” you told him, stepping out of the way of a witch carrying a stack of books with a cauldron perched precariously on top. “Bit mad to expect a bunch of children to decide what to do with their lives just like that, you know?”

“You sound like Sebastian,” he pointed out, chuckling slightly. “Says he might not bother with curse-breaking at all now. Might want to play Quidditch professionally instead.”

“He hasn’t played in a single game,” you laughed. “The season doesn’t start for another week and he wants to be a professional now?”

“Apparently so.”

“I’m not sure I believe that.”

“Well,” Ominis started, “you can ask him all about it later. He’s meeting us here after practice–if Imelda’s left enough of the team.” 

“I didn’t know he was coming,” you said casually, trying to ignore the excitement from the news and the slight feeling of dread. As much as you liked Imelda, you hoped she wouldn’t be joining because you weren’t ready for another round of heavy-handed comments about you and Sebastian. 

“The second I said you and I were going to Hogsmeade, he said he was joining,” he explained, shrugging. “You haven’t seen much of him lately, have you?”

“Outside of classes? No,” you sighed. “He seems too busy for me these days.” 

“What do you mean?”

“Oh,” you said, biting your lip. 

You didn’t want to get into it with Ominis. He didn’t need to know how much it bugged you to see Sebastian at meal times, talking to the rest of the team or those girls that somehow always seemed to hang around him. He didn’t need to know how disappointed you were every time you couldn’t even get Sebastian’s attention to say hello, and when you did, half the time he was rushing off somewhere. You felt thoroughly left behind and the fact you cared so much about him made it hurt all that much more. The less Ominis knew about all of that, the better. 

“He’s just been busy with Quidditch,” you replied finally, in too airy of a voice to be entirely convincing. 

Thankfully, he let the topic of your mutual friend slide as you got into the village. You had needed to restock for Potions, and Ominis seemed uncharacteristically cheery in Honeydukes 

and you didn’t have the heart to suggest going elsewhere when he wanted to explore. Leaving close to an hour later with your coin purses lighter but pockets heavier, you managed to get into and out of Gladrag’s with only the new scarf you had intended to buy before heading to the Three Broomsticks. 

“There you two are!” Sebastian was sitting at a table in the corner, waving at the two of you. Your heart skipped at the look of the smile on his face, and you couldn’t help but smile back and wave to show that you spotted him. 

“Would you mind grabbing the Butterbeers?” Ominis asked, turning towards the sound of Sebastian’s voice. 

“Consider it done,” you told him, giving him a pat on the arm before heading to the bar. “Sirona! Can I get two Butterbeers?” She waved to show that she heard you, even as she was dealing with something else behind the bar. You looked around to see if there was other students in the pub, and you spotted a few younger Hufflepuffs and, a few tables over, Garreth Weasley and Everett Clopton discussing something on a piece of parchment in front of them. That was…dangerous. 

The only other table of interest was the one you were heading to, and as you looked over at it, you saw Sebastian looking at you, still smiling. You smiled back, feeling a little silly at how easy it was for him to make you feel the way he did.

“It’s about time you two showed up,” Sirona commented as she slid two full glasses in front of you. You whipped around, giving her a confused look.

“What do you mean?” 

“Sebastian’s been watching that door like his life depended on it,” she said. “Waiting for you.”

“Well, Ominis doesn’t come to the village often,” you pointed out, taking your drinks. “He was probably just worried about him and won’t admit it. Boys, you know.” 

“Perhaps,” Sirona said, but the look on her face showed that she didn’t believe what you were saying. You pushed what you owed for the drinks toward her, and picked up the Butterbeer. She left it there, and you headed over to your friends. You placed Ominis’ drink in front of him before settling in the free seat.

“If we don’t win, I’m quitting,” Sebastian was telling Ominis.

“Already?” you asked, giving Sebastian an amused look.

“You have no idea what Imelda is like Captain,” he responded, shaking his head. “She woke us up before dawn this morning.”

“I feel like you knew what you were signing up for,” you laughed. “It’s not like it’s a surprise that Imelda is…intense.”

“But add a little power over people,” he sighed, “and you’ll be playing Quidditch every moment you’re not in class or asleep.”

“Just the way she likes it,” you pointed out, taking a sip of your drink. “I thought you wanted to play professionally?”

“Yeah but…” he trailed off. “When did I tell you that?”

“I told her before,” Ominis piped in. “She talks to you even less than I do. We compare notes,” he added dryly. You laughed at the comment. It was perfectly true. Sebastian and you would talk maybe for a minute before class or after, but Ominis at least saw him in the Slytherin Common Room. The two of you talked about other things, but the conversation would always turn to Sebastian at one point or another. 

Sebastian frowned, but before he could say anything else about it, Ominis was talking about something else. For a while, Sebastian was uncharacteristically quiet as you two chatted about nothing in particular and drank your Butterbeers. Slowly, he became more himself, and you had to admit, it was nice to have what felt like the “old days” back again. It felt like you were back in the Undercroft, and not fighting for Sebastian’s attention. 

Once all three glasses were empty, you stood up and scooped them into your arms. “I’ll go get us more,” you declared, smiling brightly. You didn’t want things to end just yet, so another round of drinks made the most sense. You had barely been up at the bar for a minute when your seat was taken by Violet McDowell. She had pulled the chair closer to Sebastian and was leaning so near him she might as well be in his lap, and Ominis was looking almost as annoyed as you were. Sirona said nothing about the look on your face other than a glance over to your table and a head shake. 

Unable to carry all three drinks, you instead charmed the filled glasses to float in front of you as you headed back to the table. You let the three of them fall with more force than you meant to, causing loud thuds and Butterbeer to slop out over the rims and onto the table. Ominis, who couldn’t know that he should move back the way Sebastian had, got the brunt of the spill.

“I’m sorry,” you muttered, more to him than the other two. “Just got away from me.”

“Are you sure you don’t want to come back to the castle with me?” Violet was simpering, ignoring what had just happened. “You said you’d help me with my Charms work, Bas.” You almost snorted at the nickname but managed to cover it up with a cough.

“I’ll meet you back in the common room later,” Sebastian told her, “go ahead without me.” Violet pouted, and you had to bite the inside of your cheek and look away from her. She was certainly shameless. 

“Fine! But you promised,” Violet huffed before getting up and heading out, ignoring the other two people at the table completely. Ominis was trying to clean up the spilled Butterbeer so he either didn’t notice or care about Violet’s departure. 

“I’m going to wash up,” Ominis said, standing up and shaking his hands. 

“I’m really sorry, Ominis,” you sighed, and he just shook his head.

“Accidents happen.” He disappeared upstairs, leaving you and Sebastian alone for the first time since before the summer holiday. You pulled your chair back to where it had been before Violet showed up and sat down.

Things were quiet between the two of you for a long moment. Both of you seemed more interested in your drinks than speaking, and neither one of you looked at the other. It was Sebastian who finally broke the silence.

“So…you’ve been spending a lot of time with Ominis lately,” he mentioned casually. You shrugged, looking over at him.

“I guess,” you agreed. “You and Imelda have been busy with Quidditch, so it’s just been the two of us.”

He nodded, taking a sip of his drink. “Is that the only reason?” he asked in the same casual voice, leaning forward as if he was expecting you to spill about some secret mission you and Ominis were planning. It was then that you realized that you hadn’t pulled the chair back all the way, and with your back facing the corner where the table was settled, Sebastian was boxing you in. If Sebastian had looked like he had grown before, close up, he looked to have doubled in size with him so closer now. He seemed almost impossibly broad now, and you felt nothing short of tiny in comparison. You looked up at him, confused, blushing slightly.

“Yes?” you said nervously. “Why would there be another reason?”

“Don’t know,” he responded, settling his arm on the table as he continued to lean towards you, resting his head against his hand. “I haven’t seen you much this year so I thought…” he started, but you cut him off.

“That’s not my fault, Sebastian,” you huffed. “You’re the one who doesn’t have any time for me anymore.”

“What are you talking about?” Sebastian looked taken aback at your words. 

“You’re joking, right?” you said, leaning in a little closer as you stared him down. “You’ve barely said two words for me outside of class. You don’t bother to even say hi at meals anymore.”

“I haven’t seen you,” he explained, eyebrows furrowing. “I’m not doing it on purpose.”

“Of course, you haven’t seen me.” You rolled your eyes, frustration that had been bubbling finally coming to the surface. “You’re at practice or going to class or busy showing off for Violet and those other girls that follow you around.”

“I’m not showing off for Violet,” he shot back. “Or any of those other girls. I’m not asking them to do that!”

“And you’re not telling them to leave you alone either,” you pointed out, temper creeping into your voice. “You sure seem to be loving the attention every time I see you. Why would you bother looking up to say hi to me when you have…”

“What are you two talking about?”

Ominis had reappeared at the table. Sebastian slid back, no longer crowding you into the corner, looking annoyed. 

“Nothing,” he told the other boy. He drained his entire Butterbeer before standing up. “I should head back to the Castle. Quidditch doesn’t leave much time for homework. I should catch up.” He didn’t bother waiting for either of you to say anything before starting to leave.

“Tell Violet we say hi, Bas.” The words were out of your mouth before you thought about it, and there was a small part of you that looked satisfied as a guilty look appeared on his face, but then replaced by a look of defiance. 

“I’ll see you back at the common room, Ominis,” he said and was gone a moment later. You rolled your eyes, sitting back in your chair. 

“What happened?” 

“Nothing,” you sighed. You looked at your drink, not really wanting it anymore. “Can we go back to school? I…uh, I think we’re getting close to curfew.”

“Right,” Ominis agreed, nodding. “Floo powder is faster.”

“Works for me,” you sighed, letting him lead the way over to the fire. 

_____

The first Quidditch match of the season had the entire castle beside itself. You couldn’t share in the enthusiasm-–even fellow Hufflepuffs were excited to see Ravenclaw vs Slytherin—because it meant having to see Sebastian out on the field. Even in classes over the last week, you determinedly avoided so much as looking at him. Imelda, blissfully, was too worked up about the game to notice.

In the end, you decided to go to support her. 

It hadn’t been too bad. Most of the other Hufflepuffs you were sitting with were cheering for Ravenclaw, but you and Poppy were too excited for Imelda to join in. It certainly got you two some looks from people nearby, but the excitement of seeing her score twice in a row made it easy to ignore. Despite your annoyance with him, it was still something else to see Sebastian zip by, sending bludgers toward the Ravenclaw Chasers. 

You weren’t any less glad when you two were waiting for Imelda to come out of the changing room that she was the last one out.

“Sallow went up with the rest of the team before,” she told you as you hugged her.

“I don’t care,” you huffed. “I was waiting for you.”

“Why don’t you care? Could have gotten to him before Violet McDowell did.”

“Why would you want to get Sebastian before Violet McDowell?” Poppy asked, looking between you and Imelda. You led the way back up towards the castle, your friends following behind.

“I don’t,” you responded, shaking your head. 

“What happened?” Imelda asked. “He was strange when I mentioned you before too.”

“Nothing happened,” you said. “He’d rather spend time with Violet McDowell? Fine. I don’t care.”

“Why does it matter who Sebastian spends time with?” Poppy asked. Then, she stopped. “Oh, you fancy him, don’t you?”

“Not anymore I don’t,” you huffed. “Now can we just leave it be?” Poppy, who you two hadn’t stopped for, ran to catch up with you. Imelda just laughed.

“He might be big on reading, but Sallow is as thick as they come,” she chuckled. “Good riddance, I say. You’ll do much better.”

“I always thought you and Ominis were cute together,” Poppy offered. 

“You know, he asked me if there was a reason the two of us were spending so much time alone together,” you half laughed, half scoffed. 

“You’re joking,” Imelda laughed. “When did he come to you with that idea?”

“Met us in Hogsmeade last week. He and I got into an argument and I haven’t spoken to him since,” you explained. 

“How did I miss this?” Imelda asked, and looked to Poppy. “Did you know about this?”

“No! I didn’t even know she fancied Sebastian,” she said, “no one tells me anything, apparently! All these times we’ve talked about who I fancy and…”

“I don’t fancy Sebastian,” you sighed. “At least, not anymore.”

“Are you sure?” she asked. “You two would be cute together too!”

“I don’t want to ever talk to him again,” you said shortly as the door to the castle swung open. “I also don’t want to talk about him anymore.”

“That’s right!” Imelda said brightly, “Outside of Quidditch, Sallow is nothing.” When you shot her a look, she shrugged. “He’s a good Beater, you have to admit. But outside of the pitch, won’t talk to him.”

“Am I still allowed to talk to him?” asked Poppy.

“Yeah, why wouldn’t you be?” you replied. 

“Well, you aren’t and Imelda isn’t…” she trailed off, looking between the two of you. 

“I’m just doing it because it’ll annoy him,” Imelda pointed out. “Sounds like fun, right?” You rolled your eyes, putting your hands up.

“Do whatever the two of you wish, but I am not getting involved. I’m going to the library,” you announced. “I have work to do that I ignored to come watch the game.” 

“No fun!” Imelda called.

“What? It’s not like I can join the party anyway.” 

“I’d sneak you in,” she offered. “What about you, Poppy?” 

“No, I really should go check on…” she trailed off, pointing in the direction of the Beasts classroom. 

“No fun, either of you.”

You laughed, waved your goodbyes and made your way upstairs. You were barely a few steps towards the library when a voice made you jump.

“You fancied Sebastian?” 

You spun around to see Ominis nearby. Of course, he’d be in the castle. He probably wouldn’t have even gone down to the game, but leave it to him to be right there at exactly the wrong time. 

“I…” you started, sighing heavily. 

“That was why the two of you argued at The Three Broomsticks?” he guessed. 

“No!” you exclaimed. “Not really, no. I mean…”

“You were annoyed about Violet McDowell and Sebastian leaving to go with her,” Ominous stated.

“How were you not?” you shot back, panicking slightly. He was right, of course, but something about Ominis knowing felt dangerous. You could trust Imelda not to say anything to Sebastian no matter how much she threatened to, but you couldn’t say the same of Ominis. 

“Why didn’t you just tell him how you felt instead of arguing?”

“It’s not that easy, Ominis,” you sighed. “I really don’t want to talk about this. Not with you, no offense. But not anyone else either. Can you just…please don’t say anything about it.”

Ominis shrugged, and you knew that was the closest to a commitment that you’d get. “Does that mean you spend time with me to see him?” he asked quietly.

“No,” you replied quickly. “Merlin’s beard, Ominis. I’m not desperate for his attention like Violet is. We’ve been friends for years.”

“You’ve been friends with Sebastian, and I’ve been friends with Sebastian,” Ominis countered. “I didn’t think we were friends without him until recently.”

“Well, we are,” you stated. “At least I thought we were.”

“So did I,” he said.

“Then there, we’re friends, Ominis. Regardless of whether or not Sebastian is around,” you told him. 

“Isn’t this the type of thing friends talk about?” 

“I don’t know! Not always. It’s not like you go around telling me who you fancy,” you pointed out. He chuckled.

“I suppose not,” he agreed, nodding. 

“Now, can we please never speak about this again?” you pleaded. “I get enough from Imelda and Poppy just found out and now I know I’m never going to hear the end of it. I just want one friend who doesn’t care about my love life.”

“I promise, we won’t speak of your love life.”

“Thank you, Ominis. I really appreciate it,” you told him, breathing a sigh of relief. 

When the two of you parted ways a little while later, you certainly felt better about the fact that Ominis knew. You still couldn’t say for certain if he’d tell Sebastian or not. Their friendship was much longer than yours, but you at least hoped he’d take your desire to leave it alone into consideration. 

The rest of the night was dedicated to you trying to forget about the last few hours and actually trying to get your homework done. The number of people in the common room was keeping you more on task for once. If you looked busy enough, everyone would leave you alone, and you didn’t have to speak to anyone. A few people stopped to say hi, but the fact you weren’t willing to more than glance up to greet them kept you in a mostly solitary corner. 

Just when the common room was starting to clear out, and you were just about finished with your Charms work, when Poppy came through the entrance. You looked up when she called your name, holding your quill over the parchment.

“There you are!” Poppy sighed, pointing towards the door. “Sebastian’s waiting out there for you.”

“Sebastian is waiting for me,” you repeated, letting the ink drip onto your essay. 

“He is,” she confirmed. “He tried to follow me in. I had to promise to come get you.”

“I really don’t want to talk to him right now, Poppy,” you half-whined. You had already had enough uncomfortable conversations about your feelings for one day, and something told you Sebastian wasn’t there to rehash the Quidditch match. Just when you had just about convinced yourself that Ominis was going to keep your conversation between you, Sebastian was attempting to break into the Hufflepuff Common Room.

“He really wants to talk to you,” she said, shifting on her feet. 

“Fine,” you sighed, knowing that Poppy wasn’t going to tell him to go away. “He made you promise to get me to come out, didn’t he?” Poppy nodded, and you rolled your eyes, dropping his quill down. “I’ll go talk to him.”

“I’m sorry,” Poppy said quietly, and you offered her a tired smile. 

“It’s not your fault,” you assured her. “I’m annoyed with him, not you. Can you take my stuff upstairs? Just leave it on my bed. Please?”

“Sure,” she said, looking relieved that you weren’t upset with her. 

“Thanks, you’re the best,” you told her. You took a deep breath before heading for the door. You tried to mentally prepare for what was about to happen. Part of you wondered why Sebastian wanted to talk to you. Maybe make it perfectly clear that the only person he had feelings for was Violet or something.

When you stepped out into the hallway, it was to the sight of Sebastian pacing back and forth. He paused when you closed the door behind you. He opened and closed his mouth a few times, running his hand through his hair before sighing heavily.

“Sebastian, what–” you started, crossing your arms.

“I don’t fancy Violet McDowell,” he blurted out. 

“What?” 

“I don’t fancy her. That’s what you thought, isn’t it?”

“I can’t believe that Ominis told you,” you sighed, rubbing your face. The squirming you felt in the pit of your stomach was back. 

“You talked to Ominis about this?” Sebastian asked, giving you a surprised look.

“Didn’t you?” you responded, staring back at him. 

“No,” he said slowly. “He wasn’t in the common room when we got back from the match. I thought he was with you until he came back.”

“Then Imelda told you I fancy you,” you guessed. There was no other way he could have found out.

“Imelda knew…what am I talking about, of course, you talk to Imelda about this kind of thing,” Sebastian chuckled, running his hand through his hair again. “No, Imelda didn’t tell me either.”

“Then who told you?” you asked, the squirming getting worse. Sebastian looked at you, a satisfied look and a crooked smile on his face.

“You did,” he replied. “Just now.” 

“What?”

“You just said you fancied me,” Sebastian said, amusement written all over his face. “I wanted to be the one to say it first, but you couldn’t let me.” 

“I…what?” you muttered, voice quiet. The words were hitting your ears, but they weren’t making sense to your brain. You stared at him for a long moment, mouth still slightly open as he still had the same look on his face as he watched you process what he had a few moments before.

“You don’t fancy Violet,” you said slowly.

“I don’t,” Sebastian confirmed, chuckling. “I fancy you and you fancy me.”

“You do?”

“Course I do,” he replied, faltering for a moment before pulling you into a hug. The last time the two of you had hugged was to say goodbye at the end of last year, and you hadn’t been much shorter than he was. Now, though, he could easily tuck you under his chin. You managed to uncross your arms and wrap them around him, and he pulled you in closer. As small as he had made you feel at The Three Broomsticks, you were even smaller actually in his arms and you had to admit, it felt kind of nice.

“I’m sorry,” Sebastian told you. “About the whole…” he trailed off, sighing. “Fight? That was a fight, I think.”

“It doesn’t matter,” you chuckled, squeezing him before leaning back to look at him properly. “It was about something that didn’t actually happen.” You smiled up at him to show it was all water under the bridge and he smiled back, wider than ever. It wasn’t totally clear which of you made the first move, but then you were kissing and the feeling in your stomach was replaced with the butterflies that you’d felt for the last two years.

When the two of you broke apart, neither of you seemed particularly interested in letting go of each other. The thing that forced the two of you apart was the approaching footsteps of another Hufflepuff trying to get into the common room. Deciding you two needed somewhere more private, you took his hand and led him down the hallway.

“Where are we going?” Sebastian asked, squeezing your hand. However, he made no effort to let go of it, and instead just laced your fingers together. 

“Undercroft,” you informed. 

“Great idea,” he said. “Maybe we can talk about the match later.”

“If we have time,” you told him, rolling your eyes. “I think we’ll be a little busy. We have a month or two to catch up on, don’t you think?” He laughed, tugging you closer, and pressed a kiss to the top of your head as you walked. 

“Definitely,” he agreed. The two of you were all smiles as you walked down the halls, and you were just glad the two of you were on the same page again. It was even better that the page you were on was one where you were the two of you were planning on spending significantly more alone time together from now on.

#sebastian sallow #sebastian sallow x reader #f: hogwarts legacy #sebastian sallow x f!mc #sebastian sallow fanfic #hogwarts legacy

[tiredlilguy]

" Is This... Ok?"|DILFTOBER W4

lost? main masterlist. / dilftober masterlist. / PM masterlist.

a/n: SO SORRY FOR THE DELAYYYY!!! It's been a crazy busy week, and I haven't had time to just sit down at a cafe and just... write TT-TT On top of that, I was really brain dead like all last week, so Saturday I couldn't find myself sitting at my computer. I had to lay down for a while... to be honest I needed the rest. Anyways, ENJOYYY THIS HOT REDHEAD I LOVE HIM >:D this is also on A03! :O

pairing: Oda Sakunosuke X GN!Reader cw: NSFW 18+ (if you are a minor, you will be blocked), proofread, but there may be some mistakes desc: with a small talk over dinner (and with much thought), you decided to allow your boyfriend to take you v card. ~~ kink this week: virginity loss

A warm hand slid under your shirt, making you shiver at the touch.

Oda’s hands were… rough, but at the same time, they were also quite gentle. That tenderness never failed to make you melt, the blush on your face only getting worse.

“ Is this… ok?” Oda’s eyes looked down at you with concern. Well, his usual blank expression stayed the same, but his eyes spoke his true emotions.

You lightly nodded, placing your hand over his to reassure him that you were okay. You looked up at him with sultry eyes and god damn, he was so hot.

The tired eyes looking back at you, the stubble, the messy bedhead, the calloused roughness of his hands combined with his gentle touch.

It never failed to make you fold over, eyes hazy with a clouded mind as you got lost in his eyes.

But then again… How did you get here?

…

You and your boyfriend were sitting across from each other at the kitchen counter in his apartment after a long day of work. There wasn’t anything particularly on your mind as you both ate curry across from each other with the television playing as background noise. Oda never exchanged many words with you around this time, enjoying the shared silence between the both of you. However, as he looked over at the TV, his other hand moved to slide under yours, intertwining your fingers with his with your palm facing down. His thumb trailed over yours as he let out a sigh, placing his spoon off to the side and swallowing the food that was in his mouth.

“ Oda…,” you called out, placing your utensil down and leaning your cheek over your other hand.

“ Mm…,” he only responded with a hum, his eyes still fixated on the illuminated screen.

You hesitated for a second, a certain question on your mind, but relaxed as his thumb swiped over your hand again. You continued,” I got a question to ask you.”

Oda hummed once more, his focus wasn’t towards you, but you could tell he perked up as you spoke to him. You knew he was listening at least. He picked up the beer can that was beside his plate and took a sip.

“ Have you ever had sex before?”

The alcohol that was just about to go down his throat was spat out back into the can immediately as Oda was about to gag on his drink. He beat his chest in an attempt to stop choking, eventually being able to clear his throat.

His voice was a little shaky, as he sighed,” Quite the question.”

“ Well?” you smirked up at him, finding his reaction to your question entertaining.

“ Well… yes, I have,” he answered, a light blush dusting his cheeks,” Though, it wasn’t anything other than just a one-night stand or… no hard feelings attached I guess. Why do you ask?”

You hummed as he answered your question,” Hm… I only ask because I haven’t before.”

Oda nodded, placing the beer can down,” Am I your first love then?”

Shaking your head, your gaze moved down to your empty plate with a blush,” No actually… I’ve never actually gotten to that stage yet, maybe just out of fear or something, but I’d been thinking about it for a while and…”

His rust-red eyes looked over at you, a hint of curiosity and excitement swirling in them.

“ I think I’m ready,” you blurted out nervously. You were unaware of your hand that gripped onto his tighter. He returned that pressure calmly, his thumb running over the skin of your hand.

“ Hey, relax,” he reassured you, rough voice bringing you out of your thoughts as he smiled at you,” It’s ok, don’t worry… I’ll take good care of you.”

You only nodded. The two of you silently agreed, cleaning up after yourselves and placing the dishes in the sink with a certain tension.

…

You followed him into the bedroom, his hand holding yours as you both walked over. All the while, your mind was a little flooded, asking yourself whether you should even be doing this. However, that all went out the window when Oda opened the door to the bedroom, walking over to the bed to sit you both down.

“ I just wanna make sure…,” his other hand moved a strand of hair out of your face,” You’re okay with this?”

You nodded, less shy than you usually have before,” Yes… I want to do this with you. I trust you, Oda.”

“ Hm…,” Oda hummed under his breath as he moved his face closer to yours,” You’re very pretty like this…”

“ Then come kiss me,” a small smirk formed on your lips.

Oda wasted no time, moving his lips on top of yours in a sweet kiss. You kissed back, hand moving around his back as he moved to your waist. The tension in your shoulders and back seemed to go away as you kissed him. You could… relax for once: the trail of thoughts running through your brain started to go away. Kissing him was relieving, you felt as though you didn’t have to think about anything else. His thumbs caressed your waist, sending a shiver up your spine as he kissed you deeper. You relaxed in his cold, as his hands gently placed you down on the bed.

However, the motion makes you jump slightly, causing Oda to stop. He did so, lips moving away from yours as he looked down at you with concern. His hand moved to your cheek, trying to make you comfortable.

“ Hey… you’re ok,” he spoke softly,” Did you want to stop? I’m sorry if I scared you.”

“ N-no… I uhm,” you played with your fingers nervously,” I’m just not used to it. I don’t really know what to do, I guess. Or think about…”

“ I see,” he leaned over you, mouth to whisper in your ear,” How about you just focus on me…? Don’t think about anything else, just focus on what I’m doing to you.”

As he continued to speak, one of his hands caressed your side again.

�� Focus on how you feel, love… How does this feel, hm?”

“ G-good…,” you stuttered with a small gasp.

His hot breath trailed down to your neck, nuzzling his nose under your chin. You felt his knee come in between your legs as he left a small kiss on your neck.

“ You still ok?” he asked, wanting to make sure you were comfortable.

You nodded, letting go of your hands and placing them down on the bed,” I just feel a little hot, I-I guess.”

“ Good,” he smirked, licking a stripe up the side of your neck.

“ Is that good?” you shivered at his actions but tried to relax again.

“ You’re supposed to feel a little hot, sweetheart. Don’t think too much, ok?”

You only nodded in response, letting his continue to touch you: moving to your sides to your shirt to lift it up slightly. He was enjoying taking his time with you, seeing you squirm under his touch. It was cute… watching your eyes become more clouded with lust the more he touched you. One of his hands hooked under your shirt, pushing it up slightly. You lifted your waist, letting him push it up further and eventually helping you out of it: a small hiss came out of your mouth as you felt the cold in the room. However, that feeling was quickly gone as you felt his hands around your waist.

“ So pretty,” he leaned down, placing a kiss on and around your stomach,” So beautiful.”

“ O-Oda,” a soft moan left your mouth as you reacted to his kisses.

“ You’re so beautiful like this, love,” Oda praised, looking up at you with desperate eyes,” Will you let me touch you?”

You nodded again: that heated feeling filling you with desire. You had no idea what he was going to do to you, but you trusted him… and if anything, you almost felt as though you were begging for him to touch you.

Calloused fingers ran down to your pants, hooking over them and tugging them down cautiously. You let out a small yelp, arching your back in nervousness.

“ Shh… my love, you’re ok,” he reassured again, moving up to kiss your forehead. You closed your eyes, scrunching your nose as he did so. His lips moved to kiss your cheek, your nose, and eventually another one of your lips.

“ I’m just gonna take off your pants and underwear, ‘k?” Oda reassured you, before kissing your jaw and moving back down.

Both of his hands tugged the waistband off your hips.

“ Up,” he gently commanded to you. You did so, lifting your hips up so he could easily slide them off of you.

You felt shy, moving your legs together so that you could somewhat hide yourself. Oda frowned, a hand moving to your knee.

“ Don’t be shy,” his voice was like honey in your ears,” Open your legs for me, love.”

You took a second, letting out a breath of air before opening your legs. Oda smiled.

“ So pretty.”

“ Oda… mm,” you whined, a cute pout moving to your face.

“ What is it, love?” he looked at you.

“ Touch me,” you said pleadingly,” P-please…”

“ Ok, love,” he softly laughed,” Sorry, just got caught up in you… You’re beautiful>”

He scooted down, warm hand cupping your side as his other met your hole: at first dipping a finger in. You whimpered once again but relaxed soon after.

“ Is this… ok?” Oda looked up at you, a blush dusting his cheeks.

“ Feels good, Oda,” you muttered, the blush on your face getting redder.

Oda watched as he took his time, dipping a finger into you. You let out a moan as he did so, feeling slightly embarrassed at the noise that came out of your mouth. However, before you knew it, your mind was clouded as he fully inserted his finger.

“ G-gah… Oda,” you moaned, writhing under his touch as he moved his fingers inside your hole: touching your gummy and tight walls. You felt that heat in your stomach get warmer as he did so, fingers dipping further into you. Before you knew it, another inserted itself inside you.

“ Ngh-hah!,” you jumped, moaning a little louder this time. The hand on your hip held you down though, making it harder for you to move.

“ Hm? Does my baby feel good?” he moved down to your ear, licking up the shell. His actions made you shiver once more.

“ Y-yeah,” another moan slipped out of your mouth.

He curled his finger into your hole, making you arch again. The heat only getting harder to hold in. You felt your release coming up.

“ Mm!,” you shifted,” Hah- I… I-“

You released onto his fingers without warning: your liquids spewing out onto yourself and his fingers. Your hands moved to cover your face, wanting to hide yourself once again.

“ S-sorry! Shit- I-I couldn’t hold it in,” you apologized desperately.

“ That was hot,” he commented, before moving down to kiss your stomach once more.

After releasing, the more he touched you, the more sensitive you felt. You couldn’t stop yourself from shaking at his feather-like touch.

Oda’s other hand moved to your wrists, moving them out of your face.

“ Don’t be shy, my love,” he whispered again,” It’s just me.”

“ O-ok,” you placed your hands down at your sides.

Oda let you relax for a moment… Well, it was really just a moment, until you felt his tongue dip down to your stomach, getting closer to your core.

“ F-fuck-! Hah,” you arched your back at his sudden again. You looked down, noticing him stick his tongue out closer to your core.

“ ‘M a little hungry… I’ll have my dessert.”

[also if you want, please consider getting me a coffee or commissioning me ;) no pressure ofc!!! i understand that we're all in different circumstances/situations, any support of any kind is appreciated <3]

#bsd x reader #bungo stray dogs x reader #bungou stray dogs x reader #bsd #bungo stray dogs #bungou stray dogs #odasaku #bsd odasaku #sakunosuke oda #oda sakunosuke #oda x reader #oda sakunosuke x reader #odasaku x reader #sakunosuke oda x reader #bsd smut #bungou stray dogs smut #oda smut #odasaku smut #mono writes

[gowonders]

i’ll bite ♥ c.bg

notes: this is a part two of my other work, back for more!! read it hereeee!! anyways, i hope this satisfies yalls expectations for part 2 TT

also!! please tell me if this makes sense because i totally wrote this over multiple days and probably forgot a detail

minors dni with this one!!!

warnings : (not as mean this time but still kindaaa? barely mean) fem reader, (kinda sorta toxic…..) dom bg, lsf yunjin is your friend :3, a lot of texting gyu, thigh fucking(is there a word for this because…), unprotected (wrap it before u tap it omfg!!!), mentions of baby trapping but beomgyu doesn’t actually cum inside lmao, lmk if i missed anyyyyy!

choi beomgyu. the name now meant the totally cute and desperate guy you just blew off. you groan to yourself as you lay in your bed, kicking your legs a little before you sigh, a ping snapping you out of your little fit.

it was yunjin, what’s going on with her….?

yunjin: you’re gonna hate me!!!!! i’m reallllllyyyyyy sorry yn please forgive me i’ll buy you whatever you wantttt i’m sorryyyy againnn 💕

what did she do. she’s never this apologetic? you just sigh again as you leave her on read and throw your phone back on your bed, about to just stare at the ceiling as you just think about how you could just—

another notification, from an unknown number? what is going on?

?: heyyyyy is this yn

me: yeah? who’s this

?: beomgyu, yunjin gave me your number!

huh yunjin you asshole. when i catch you. when i catch you.

you sigh again, wanting to not give into responding anymore, but to be fair, you knew you’d fold eventually. you were literally just thinking about how pretty he was. so might as well bite.

me: oh cool i guess? whats up

beomgyu: look i know you know i like you, and i know i’m gonna make you mine eventually, so come overrrrr omfg. this little tough act is not cute. at least let me fuck some sense into you or something.

me: are you fucking with me.

beomgyu: i’m trying to babe

the text had your jaw slack. no way he was this forward. is he actually serious? you have rejected him four times now, and now he wants you in his sheets?? to ‘fuck some sense into you’ ???

is he crazy???

maybeeee , but you definitely are. maybe if this happens he’ll quit annoying you. but, like we’ve established, you and him both know he’ll have you next time. maybe fifth time is the charm!

me: fine whatever

beomgyu: i knew you had a thing for me, i’ll send you my address hold up

well.. he sent it. he’s definitely serious. it was the way he sent it with a little “💓” that left your stomach in a knot. oh god. are you really folding for him? yes. you’re getting dolled up, but not enough to give him the ego boost of you showing up with a full glam.. and you’re definitely wearing the skirt he complimented a few days ago.. god. what are you doinggg… you think as you drive to his house, mind going a mile a minute as you pull into the driveway, slowly walking up to the front door.

this could be the worst or best thing you’ve done all week. you’ll bite, though.

you raise a timid fist to knock weakly at the door, legs slightly trembling— why? you’re not nervous, not really eager either.. maybe a little. as beomgyu opens the door— why is he so pretty. he looks even better with more homey clothes, a crème colored t-shirt paired that has a black print, paired with some sweats. as he waves you in, you take in his house.. not as bad as you were expecting, it was pretty neat for a guy who has a very messy personality.

“so, still doing what i wanted? you cool with that?” he asks dryly, standing a somewhat far distance from you. and you just swallow in response, eyes wide in shock. no way this is actually happening. “ynie. answer me” he’s still speaking in a dry tone, and all you can do is nod with a sheepish smile. it’s almost like his words have some crazy effect on you, and maybe it’s because of the whole shock value, but you may or may not be falling for him.

“okay, finally.” he snickers as he wraps his fingers around your wrist, bringing you to his room, and whatever plans you had to reject him are gone.. for now at least. you really couldn’t turn down the way he pinned your wrists to his bed lightly, and the way he looked down at you, like he really loved you?? even after all the times you rejected him and called him some not-so-nice names, and you weren’t really nice to his friends either. so why was he so adamant on dating you?

he didn’t give you much time to think before he moved down to your ear, knowing he has that stupid (still insanely cute) smirk on his face, whispering how much he’s been wanting to do this, and that he’s glad you finally stopped being such a bitch.

and to that, you just scoff, but he cuts you off by moving down to your neck, leaving a small mark before pulling away with a chuckle. “you’re soooo easy yn. i knew you liked me.” you literally cannot talk. like he took your words or something, so you just roll your eyes.. which he rolls his eyes back at you, with his charming smile, pulling his hands off you as he stands over you. “you really okay with this?” he asks, tilting his head as his eyes just dart all over your body as he stands over you. “yeah,” you reply with the same dry tone hes speaking in, and that’s all he needs before he chuckles again, “skilled” fingers hooking under your skirt, sliding it down. “wore this for me, huh?” he teases, pulling the skirt off and letting it drop to the floor. “maybe. i don’t know.” you say, looking up at the ceiling, you can’t look at him. you’re literally about to fuck the guy you’ve rejected four times.

he just smirks at your response, fingers tracing over the waistband of your panties as he guides you to stand up, his hands on your waist, before you hear the clinking of his belt, your face is feeling warmer and warmer by the second, and this all is feeling more and more real too. and it’s not until beomgyus leg is nudging your thighs together to when it really starts to feel real. feeling his tip press slightly against your ruined panties, his full length sliding into the tight space of your thighs, a small groan leaving his lips at the feeling, his cock slightly brushing at your clit against the flimsy fabric with every thrust, small whines leaving your lips before one of his hands come up to your lips, muffling your whines. “you’d be even prettier if you stayed quiet, only letting you make sounds under one condition— you let me take you out.” he says, not stopping his relentless thrusts into your thighs, his breath slightly shaking along with yours, the friction on both of you driving you crazy.

he tilts his head at you, a straight face on as his dark eyes study you, his palm moving from your mouth to your cheek, waiting for your response. he really does wanna hear your sounds, they boost his ego so much, so he could brag to his friends about “she wanted me soooo bad. had her whining for me.”… but you just whine out loud after a particularly hard thrust, the way his length brushes against you just satisfies something.. unlike the way beomgyus need to take you out gets satisfied. “be that way, babe. i’ll make you mine soon enough. i said i’d fuck some sense into you, clearly you haven’t stopped acting like a little bitch.” he says in between groans, his palm moving back to your mouth as he covers up your pretty sounds again.

soon enough, beomgyus hips start to stutter, and his groans turn slightly high pitched as you’re clenching your thighs at him, not making his job any easier. “f-fuck, yn—“ famous last words before he’s cumming all over your thighs, staccato whines against his hand leaving your mouth as he left you on the edge, almost finishing, but beomgyu not letting you.. :(

beomgyu sits you back on his bed, not caring to wipe off his mess before he looks at you, a small hint of a smile growing on his lips. “you wanna cum, pretty girl?” you’re torn between just staying silent and practically begging him to let you finish… on one hand you’d fuel his ego, another thing to let him brag to his friends for, and on one hand, you’d keep up this little game that beomgyu seems to hate yet love so much. ..so you find a decent in-between. a shrug. which definitely gets him a little more upset… “yes or no, yn.” he says again, dark eyes burning into yours. “yeah…” you whisper, looking down at your lap that’s been ruined with beomgyus cum. “mhm. that’s what i like to hear..” his says, chuckling as he pushes your back onto the bed, pulling your panties down and letting them drop to your ankles as your legs dangle off his bed, beomgyu moving between your thighs, his tip moving against your tip, as he laughs at how wet you are. “all this for me? oh, i really thought you didn’t like me back, babe.” he says before inserting you in one swift motion, not giving you much time to adjust before he starts moving again, fingers gripping your waist so hard that you think it might bruise.. he’s pounding into you so hard already, gen though it’s only been a few minutes.. :(

“look so pretty under me, fuck..” beomgyu says as he leans his head back, kind of a shame. you can’t see his face, not like you want to admire him or anything, but his face is pretty when he’s above you, hips snapping against you roughly and quickly, swallowing hard as he only chases his own release (maybe yours too…). and you’re fairing no better, thighs trembling around his waist as your fingers grip the quilt under you, breathy whimpers spilling from your lips, which beomgyu doesn’t even bother to make you shut up this time, he really just wants to hear the pretty sounds he’s making.

beomgyu continues his work on you, his words varying of “you’re so perfect” and “i love this” in between his own groans, your sounds spurring him on more. i mean.. if he couldn’t date you (he totally could after this) he could at least have this?? and he loved it, you looked so pretty under him, squirming and whining all for his cock, it really boosted his ego.. (much like everything else you’ve done…)

“ynieee, let me make you mine foreverr, pleaseee?” beomgyu asks, hips starting to stutter against you, leaning his head back slightly. was he serious..? asking to cum inside when you clearly don’t like him back? “it would be a good way to make sure you don’t end up dating another guy, babe..” he mutters, chuckling a little before he plants a kiss on your cheek, studying your expression. he wasn’t actually going to do it.. but he likes seeing your reaction? which is just wide eyes staring into his. “nuh uh” you say, a quick laugh leaving his lips, he just stays silent as you both reach your release, a stupid smirk plastered on his face like he was planning something.

“are you close, yn?” he asks, swallowing hard as your gummy walks flutter around him, lips parted as your whines come out. “yeah—“ you start, hoping that he’ll actually let you finish this time.. “really? okay, pretty girl. don’t hold back.” he says with a smile, starting to come undone himself as you begin to reach your climax, and the sight of you just triggers his own release letting you ride yours out, then him pulling out and cumming all over your stomach. thank god.

“let’s get you cleaned up, hm, yn??” he asks, sitting next to you on his bed, a smirk on his face at your flushed cheeks and marked neck, so easy, all his~ you nod, words really too incoherent to mean anything.. “okay babe, hold on..” he says before he leaves you in his room with your own thoughts.

seriously, what just happened?? you fuck the guy you swore up and down was clingy and weird?? you probably just fulfilled his dream, especially with the way he looks at you. this is absolutely crazy.

you’re thoughts are cut off by beomgyu coming back with a small towel, wiping his seed off your tummy before he starts to speak quietly, in a comforting tone. “soooo.. i’m sorry about this. this is probably the worst time to ask but you know how much i lik-“ he starts, a small smile on his lips as he looks up at you. you knew what he was gonna ask. “goddddd, yes, gyu!! i will date you!!!” you say, beomgyus actions pausing as he looks back up at you with a smirk. “that’s good, because i was about to have to apologize even more for those hickeys, but thanks, babe~”

he is so unserious.

#gowonder: writes #gowonder: smut #txt #txt x reader #txt smut #txt hard hours #beomgyu #beomgyu x reader #beomgyu smut #beomgyu hard hours #txt hard thoughts #beomgyu hard thoughts

[conniesanchor]

hi!!!! are you going to do a celebration for your next follower mark? also, could i pretty please get sick!shy!reader + conrad?

hello, yes, i think i might do a 300 celebration. i have it sitting in my drafts. and here you go, bae:

cw; mentions of throwing up (no doing so)

you were supposed to go out with your boyfriend tonight. conrad had planned this big dinner with his family, so when you threw up this morning (and practically all day), your heart broke at the thought of canceling.

you called him anyway, head pounding. "hey, connie. im so sorry, but i don't think i can make it tonight. im not feeling too hot and don't want to get anyone sick. im sorry," you apologized. you knew you were stressing over nothing, conrad was an angel, he would never get mad at you for something as little as being sick.

"okay. we can reschedule for sometime next week. anything i can do?" he asked, worried.

as if he could see you, you shook your head. "no, im okay. just a stomach bug." you weren't completely lying. it was a stomach bug. it just happened to also be a cold.

you were aware of the fact that he was probably already heading downstairs to his car, "i'll be there soon, baby. want seven up or gingerale?" he questioned.

you weren't going down without a fight, though, "no, connie. please don't come, i don't want to get you sick."

"don't worry. then i'll have my wonderful, beautiful, perfect girlfriend to take care of me."

you rolled your eyes but answered his previous question anyway, "seven up is fine."

"okay, have you eaten? i can pick up some chicken noodle soup, or if you can't stomach, that i can make you some cinnamon and sugar toast," he spoke, and you could hear him start the car in the process.

you knew you would throw up if you ate the soup you would throw up, even the toast might make you throw up, but conrad was going to make you eat regardless. "toast, please," you settled.

"okay. im on my way. give me twenty minutes." he would speak, "i love you."

"i love you."

like clockwork, conrad showed up exactly twenty minutes later. no matter how many times you told him he didn't have to knock, he never listened. so you dragged your feet over to your front door and opened it. you looked gross. you were curled up in a snuggie (even though it was probably ninety degrees outside), your hair was pulled into a messy bun, and your nose was rubbed red. "baby." was all he could mumbled out before putting the bags he had gotten from the store onto the table beside your door and pulling you into a big hug.

the hug only lasted a few seconds before he was ushering you onto the couch and making his way to the kitchen. he poured you a glass of seven up and made you toast with cinnamon and sugar (because who eats it any other way?) unbeknownst to you, he also turned the air up. it was blazing hot, and you were in a blanket. no wonder you were throwing up. "alright. you want ten things i hate about you, tangled, or the breakfast club?" he picked up the remote and listed your (my) favorite movies.

you pondered for a second. it was the decision of a lifetime, after all. what movie were you going to fall asleep ten minutes into? you took a bite of your toast before answering, "ten things i hate about you, please."

conrad clicked his tongue, "i figured." he spoke before noticing you hadn't drank your soda, "why don't you take a sip of that soda for me, yeah? it'll make you feel better." you reluctantly complied, hoping you wouldn't throw up again.

then guilt hit you all over again, "did you tell your family im sorry?" you asked and conrad could have melted right there.

"yes, pretty. they know you can't control being sick, and they were happy to reschedule soon. they love you, you know that." he assured you, "now finish that toast, and you can get some sleep."

"okay. hey, did you turn that air up? it's cold."

#conrad fisher x you #conrad fisher x reader #tsitp conrad #conrad fisher fluff #conrad fisher #team conrad #conniesanchor #conrad #tsitp fluff #tsitp imagine #tsitp fanfic #tsitp cast #tsitp #tsitp 2 #the summer i turned pretty #the summer i turned pretty imagine #the summer i turned pretty imagines #christoper briney #chirs briney

[kurosstuff]

!! Can I request a fluffy Cassandra story? One where Cassandra gets injured to the point that she’s bedridden and her female s/o nurses her back to health, she feeds her changes her bandages cleans her etc and at first Cassandra is reluctant but gives in since she can’t do anything yet because of her injuries.

SO- kinda just jumped right in that she's hurt right off the bat- sorry bur couldn't think of a reason she got hurt. Also gonna be short- kinda hard to focus on writing rn but! I really wanted to write this

Cassandra Dimitrescu x F!reader: stubborn

Warning(s): Cassandra dimitrescu. Threats Cursing. Injuries(doesn't go into full detail nor explains exactly what happened. Wanna keep it extra fluffy to not add the detailed injury♡) slight sexual jokes(not really), blood- soft!Cassandra dimitrescu

Summary: Cassandra gets hurt- is to stubborn to allow you to care for her but does anyways

"Say anything and I'll gut you right here like a fish."

Cassandra laid bundled in her bed- covered head to toe in blankets and poorly wrapped bandages. Sighing you went over roughly yanking the pillows underneath her head causing her to fall off the pillow.

"HEY WATCH IT!"

"Should take your own advice Cassandra." Wincing at the use of her name she grumbled crossing her arms angerly. Puffing up her chest in a fit' turning to look away from you as best as she could.

"Now, let me help you out of those clothes." Cassandra froze for a second at that before grining stupidly

"Oh well, i thought youd never-"

"Cassandra."

"..sorry"

It took four minutes to get Cassandra to sit still- allowing you to take the bloodied ripped cloth off her and wince at the sight. The blood whipped off- ignoring her protests of "Hey! It shows how much of a predator I am" or whatever she was going on about. Ignoring Cassandra for most would be a death sentence. But here you are, cleaning her wounds and wrapping her up, all while ignoring her complaints - which in turn made her even more grumpy

"OK. Time to eat. " Getting up, you leaned over to the table where a bowl sat - Cassandra rose an eyebrow at it in confusion."Before you came in, I asked another maid to bring this in. It's just liquid -" sitting down beside her properly you hit her hand away from the bandages on her "dont touch , and for now to not cause any more trouble. Your only drinking liquid"

Ignoring Cassandra, who yet again started to whine about being babies over a small cut- taking a spook, you dipped it into the red liquid and held it over to her face bowl under it in cases picture of it.

"No."

"What do you mean no?"

"You're gonna feed me. No What the fuck?"

"Your gonna spill it"

Scuffing Cassandra rolled her eyes. "Spill? You think I'm a messy person?.." Looking the other way, she flushed slightly," that messy of a person?" She corrected

"Yes"

"Wha- HEY RUDE-" Shoving the spoon into her mouth Cassandra gaged a bit on it swallowing the liquid before glaring at you "ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME?"

"Maybe"

"WHAT"

-

During the following week it was like trying to bath a cat- a whiny, grumpy, bloodthirsty vat. Cassandra even went as far as hissing when you put her in the water. Grumbling about how' she doesn't need to bath. It's just her natural born killing smell!

That landing with a glob of shampoo in her hair- grumbling she finally relaxed closing her eyes. Messaging her scalp you gently used your nails to scratch her head- before washing it out of her head and moving to the conditioner. "-?" Opening her eyes she cursed in her head- she was almost lured to sleep.

Almost

Glancing up at you in confusion she tilted her head to the side "you were purring"

"I do not purr. That's what those feline things do"

"Cat. And yes you do- you always do".

"I do not!"

-

Bringing her back to bed you helped her gently into bed- Cassandra being uncharacteristically quiet

"No one's usually this gentle with me." Cassandra spoke aloud answering your silent thought. "I thought I'd hate it but" Turning away from you if she had the ability she'd blush "I.. liked it. I wouldn't mind doing it again"

"Of course. Just don't get hurt next time"

Cassandra smiled "won't happen twice"

#cassandra dimitrescu x reader #cassandra dimitrescu #x reader #wlw #resident evil village x reader #resident evil x reader

[dsvoid]

LIFE IS HARD. -a sprolden fanfiction

(angst, tw: suicide mention. words: 685. a/n: trying to recreate Alice’s writing style was really hard, sorry if they’re ooc)

Today is Saturday, but I don’t really feel any enjoyment about the school-free day. I am doing what I do everyday anyways. I am laying in bed, watching a film. A bad one, not that I care whatsoever.

Dating is ridiculous, I have come to that conclusion. Michael is ridiculous too, so I don’t have anything better to do right now than dread life.

I would say my hands ache to grab my phone and text him, but that would be a lie. The only thing happening to me right now is feeling the need to re-freshen my tumblr’s page every single second. But that’s just because I am bored. Whatever.

My throat is dry, my diet lemonade is empty on the floor. It’s quite messy here.

Click, click, click.

Charlie has just greeted Nick at the door, I hear their happy voices in the distance. It’s gross. It’s lovely.

Click, click, click.

My hoodie is starting to bother me. The hood is too big and it keeps falling from my shoulders. I should throw it away.

Click.

Anonymous: Thought for the day: wouldn’t it be all easier if everyone was the same?

Anonymous: Thought for the day: how worth it is saying the truth?

Anonymous: Thought for the day: what happens to the different ones?

Anonymous: Thought for the day: is it morally acceptable to end your life?

My hands stop. White noise is in my ears, Charlie and Nick’s voices gone. The overheating computer is gone. My heartbeat stays.

It has been radio silence from Michael for a week. Knowing he is alive is nice, so I don’t know why my finger has clicked the call button on my phone. However, he doesn’t answer.

My sheets make me turn and roll and get up. They’re too hot and itchy, so I throw them to the floor.

I don’t know how it happens, or why, but the breeze makes my hair messier than it already is. My jacket does barely anything to cover me from the cold, but that’s just my own fault.

This is where everything started. The long brown house and the cliff over the river. Michael is standing on that same cliff, with his hair ruined and big pyjamas. It’s just like going back in time. But he is not smiling, he wears a frown on his face like a medal and his hand holds his ice skaters over the river. A tear falls on top of his arm.

I don’t want to be pushy. I hate pushy people, but I can’t stop myself from walking right to his side.

“What are you doing here?”

His harsh tone hurts. His free hand is curled against itself, like everything he wanted to end with was in the air.

“You can’t die.”

He turns, the wind makes his hair cover his eyes, so I don’t really see what I want to. I don’t see if he understands me, if he agrees. I am scared.

“I’m not going to kill myself.” His feet step away from the cliff. “If that is what worries you.”

His voice is laced with anger, not something I’m used to. I look at him and we’re silent for a couple of minutes. I don’t know what to say, so I don’t say anything.

Hugging him is something I don’t do often, but seeing him about to throw his whole life into the river… he can’t give up.

His body is stiff as my arms circle his torso, my head pressed in his arm. He sniffs, so I press my arms harder.

“I am sorry. Please don’t throw away your life.”

We go backwards, as away from the cliff as we can. I take his ice skaters, leaving them on the floor and then I hug him correctly. I don’t want him to be like this anymore, I want him to laugh and say stupid jokes like he always has, but that’s selfish. I’m selfish for wanting that.

“I’m sorry Michael. I’m so sorry.”

We’re both crying, but we are also laughing, so everything is okay. For now, at least.

#tori spring #michael holden #sprolden #solitaire #heartstopper #osemanverse #fanfiction #angst #.💌

[alice3876]

Take My Hand (And Don't Let Go) • Yoon Keeho

Wc: 1.3k

Yoon Keeho x fem reader

Summary: You ask Keeho to stay back, determined to confess your feelings to him… and things don't go as planned. At all.

Warnings: A messy as fuck love confession, Keeho teases reader a bit (of course he does), reader gets upset and cries, mentions of anxiety and low self-confidence, pretty sure Keeho is kind of/very ooc, also not proofread because I couldn't be bothered

Notes: I finally managed to write something that isn't too cringe TwT… I hope. First work I'm posting here on Tumblr. Honestly don't know which setting this is. School? Most likely. Other? Maybe. Who knows. I certainly don't lol enjoy

Another note: This man is just the definition of perfection and I adore him so yeah, I was writing a Felix story and promptly decided to switch to this because I got a sudden and rare bought of inspiration (woo!) It's actually probably shitty but anyways lots of things go on in my mind that you wouldn't believe 😀👍

"Keeho?" you asked softly, walking up behind him and gently grabbing onto his sleeve. "Can we talk?"

"... yeah, sure, what's up?" he replied, turning to you.

"Um…" you hesitantly looked around at his friends. You didn't want to ask them to go away and come off as rude, but Keeho got the message. 

"Go on ahead guys, I'll catch up to you later."

They showed various degrees of agreement and walked off, bidding you goodbye. Keeho turned back to you, a frown on his face.

"Keeho-"

"What's going on, Y/n? You've been avoiding me for weeks! What happened?" he blurted out once the two of you were alone.

You looked down, nervously fiddling with the rings on your slender fingers, teeth sinking into your plush lip as a result of the wave of anxiety washing over you.

"I– [...] I'm sorry, this was a mistake," you stuttered, briskly turning and walking rushing away from him. 

'I can't do this,' you thought to yourself, mind whirling in a thousand directions at once. You thought you had come to terms with your feelings and wanting to express them, but you didn't have the strength to face him.

"Y/n, don't you dare walk away without talking to me." the stern voice snapped you out of your daze. His long fingers that you spent so much time fiddling around with wrapped around your wrist, stopping you in your tracks. 

'Fuck.' Keeho's stride was longer than you had realized. Or, more likely, it was longer than you had wanted to notice. You had hoped you could outrun him, but that was now clearly out of the question.

'I'm fucked. Somebody please kill me now.'

"Talk to me. … please…"

You abruptly looked up at his face, caught off guard by the vulnerable lilt in his voice. He looked like his heart might break into pieces if you walked away now.

'Of course his heart won't break, you idiot. Snap out of your delusions!' And yet… 'No!'

"What do you want me to say, Kee?" you asked, cursing yourself for letting your voice break. "... I've been avoiding you because I like you and I don't know how the fuck I'm supposed to act around you and I practically break down when you show affection towards me, even though I know very well it's all platonic, so I figured it was better for my heart and sanity if I stayed away from you... you got your answer. Now—can you please let me go—?" you ranted out, voice breaking at the end and tears brimming at the corners of your eyes, threatening to spill down your flushed cheeks. 

He looked at you, bemused, his eyes wide and his lips parted just slightly in surprise. 

"You… you like me?" he repeated incredulously, eyes still fixed on your irritated ones.

"Is that all you got from that? Really?" you clicked your tongue in annoyance.

"No, but… you like me? Really? You're serious?" he asked again, voice dropping a bit.

"No, I don't like you, I love you! Now can you get that through your thick skull, for fuck's sake?!" you snapped.

He snorted. "That's a special way to confess your love. Why didn't you just tell me?"

"Wow. You know what, this is a waste of time. I'm leaving." you shook your wrist from his grip and stalked off, trying your best to fight off the tears now rolling down your cheeks.

"W- no, wait, wait!" he called after you, still laughing. "I'm sorry, it's just- you're cute when you get mad." He pulled you back again and softened at the sight of you fighting so hard to keep yourself together. He gently brushed away your tears, looking at you so fondly you could melt right there before his eyes. You still didn't think he liked you, but there was so much warmth and affection in his eyes at the moment, it couldn't hurt to hope just a bit… right?

His lips curled into a soft smile as he took your small hands in his big ones and intertwined your fingers. "I like you too, Y/n. Though I really wish you would've just told me instead of avoiding me like I might give you an infectious decease if you get too close." You opened your mouth to reply, but he squeezed your hands and kept talking. "It's alright. I know you struggle a lot with your self-confidence and your anxiety. But know that I'm always here for you, alright? You can tell me anything. I care about you so much more than you realize." He let go of your hands, but before you could worry—what can I say? Anxiety is intense—he wrapped his arms around your middle and pulled you in for a hug. He held you like you were the most precious thing in the world and you might break apart if he let go—which you just might, if we're being honest here. 

You tightly wrapped your arms around his neck, holding him as close as possible. It wasn't too often that Keeho showed his affection in this way—he was more the type to tease you—so you hung onto him like your life depended on it, relishing in the warmth of his strong body against yours. Physical touch was your love language, so this was probably the most effective way to comfort you—and win your affection.

"So…" you voiced and he slightly pulled away to look at you. "Does this mean we're dating?" you asked slyly, feeling a little less vulnerable and a little more like your usual self, which made Keeho laugh.

"If that's what you want, then yes. I'll be your boyfriend, love." You swore you actually melted into a puddle at this point. The hug was so warm and comforting. Being his girlfriend? A dream, really. But being called love? That was too much for your poor heart. In your mind, it was the sweetest nickname to ever exist, and he used it for you? Wow. You just might implode or self-combust at this point.

Keeho kept his eyes on you, concerned by your long silence. "Y/n?... Areee you alright?" he asked hesitantly, snapping you out of your simp thoughts.

"Huh?! Yes! I'm great!" It took you a minute to realize that you never answered him. "Yes, I want to be your girlfriend. I've been hoping for this for so long." Another pause of realization. "You chastised me for not telling you how I felt about you, but you didn't do it either." You frowned at him and he gave you a cheeky smile. 

"Well-" He didn't even make an effort to continue his sentence. 

"Jerk. I was stressed out for-" 

Keeho cut you off with a soft press of his lips to the corner of your mouth, leaving you a flustered, fumbling mess. 

"I- wha- that was low." You narrowed your eyes at him, face red, and he laughed again. 

"You think too much," he said simply, booping you on the nose. "Besides, I can kiss you all I want now, since we're together." He raised an eyebrow and you choked.

"What are you insinuating?"

"What are you thinking, love? Didn't know you had such a dirty mind. Oh wait, actually-" You cut him off with a smack on the arm and an insulted scoff while he practically roared with laughter now.

You scowled. "Remind me why I like you?"

"I don't know. Why do you like me?" He grinned your way. "Come on, we should get going. The guys are waiting for us."

"They're waiting for you," you pointed out.

"Well, too bad. They're going to have to settle for us from now on. Right, love?" He looked at you lovingly, a soft smile playing on his lips. That smile was mirrored on you own face as you looked down, trying to hide how giddy you looked and felt. "Here." You looked up, confused, to see him holding out his hand to you. "Well? Take my hand and don't let go, alright?"

You smiled. "Alright."

#keeho #p1h keeho #yoon keeho #p1harmony #piwon #keeho x reader #p1h #keeho fluff #fluff #a bit of angst if you squint? #keeho icons #keeho p1h #keeho imagines

[izloveshorses]

Just out of curiosity what's wrong with zadkins!dimya? I never got to see the show at all (just bootlegs) so I don't know anything.

I do agree with the 1NT though. I have no idea what they were thinking with Lila Coogan. She pronounces every single thing she says the same way?

anon you have no idea how much this ask delighted me. i'm in tears. i'm so so so excited this made my whole week.

first-- lila was only casted bc she knew lynn ahrens, i believe. this happened a lot with anastasia at the time unfortunately, when it came time to replace the principal cast they kept choosing people they knew or people who were already in the show instead of finding new talent. stephen (steven? i can't be bothered to remember) covered dmitry on broadway so they hired him as principal dima on tour and that was such a waste too tbh 💀 other than a few delightful people here and there, 1nt was such a bland and forgettable cast to me. 2nt superiority <333

now. for zadkins. a couple years ago i would've answered this privately bc his stans would've eaten me alive, but it appears no one left here cares for him anymore anyway ashdljfdjk so!!! i'm gonna be mean. so sorry. or not sorry. i don't really care anymore lol.

man. another bad case of promoting someone mediocre instead of hiring and training someone new. he always kind of gave me an ick, like on a Regular Person level, but for now let's focus on his performance:

the man cannot sing. he yells. he cannot act. he yells! i'm like not an expert or anything on either but i know a bad singer when i hear one lol. there's a moment in my petersburg where he growls? yuck. he and christy, as talented as she is, had no chemistry. not even like compared to christy and derek (which was like ~Magical Chemistry~), they just had zero chemistry period. even off stage their interactions felt weird and forced. i think he tried too hard to be Different™ from derek that he ended up playing dmitry wildly off book. i mean, you Should come with a new and fresh take on the character, that's fair. but he was almost playing a completely unrecognizable character altogether. (the glebya stans love his dmitry for a reason)

and then he kept thowing little fits off stage-- he got a tattoo when he wasn't supposed to, complained about being compared to derek, etc. he was kind of strange with christy sometimes. on one of her live streams during playtime (the 15 minute stretch between crossing a bridge and iacot, where she would invite the little girls and other folks off stage to hang out in her dressing room) he said he saw her in spring awakening, a show with some nudity, and she was clearly uncomfortable by the way he said it. he was also weird online, there was one instance where a teenage girl tweeted and asked him to come to her birthday party and he?? showed up????? he was also dating ashley park at the time and i think the breakup was messy 💀

his stans were awful. i know it's not his fault, but god. they were so loud, constantly complaining about derek for some reason? a man who minds his own business??? bc the only way you can support your fave is by hating everyone else on main?? the infighting was insane. you had to be there.

and oh man. when they announced cody simpson was replacing him.... it got so much worse. they were tearing that little blond australian man (who can actually sing and act, mind you) to shreds. every review was scathing when the show needed a boost. zach threw a fit about it too, because his contract was ending early (i mean. the show was actively losing money because he was so terrible. so yeah of course they're gonna replace him with a stunt cast ashdljfk) and you compare that and his stans to derek and derek stans just quietly mourning his exit and enduring but otherwise minding our business.... yeah. the only anastasia obc member with a bad attitude fr

so you pair that (the Yikes that is zadkins!dima) with max von essen's gleb (as much as i loved him he was also a miscast, i believe he's said the same) both yelling at anya the whole time with the mediocre 1nt cast,,,, of course you have people walking away from the show going 'so,,, what the hell was that. i could've just watched the movie.'

this is just speculation but i truly believe if i had to pinpoint an origin as to why the show isn't open anymore i would say principal zadkins at such a crucial time was their downfall. the second year is so important to get people to come back and to get new audience members at the same time and they botched it. instead of bringing in new talent they just stuck with mediocre people who already knew the tracks. the show had all the ingredients for being the next wicked, but damn. casting for anya, dmitry, and gleb are so important. you really need people who Get It to portray them, and if you have one weak link the whole show falls flat. and for several months, before cody was brought on and before constantine returned to play principal gleb, christy altomare was carrying the whole thing on her little shoulders.

and THEN you have the whole year two Red Dress marketing campaign, which misinterpretted the show So Badly as ~just another princess show~ to compete with frozen across the street... yeah of course it tanked. but that's another topic.

so! in conclusion........,,, summer-winter 2018 was a dark time for fanastasias ashldkjfjk we were in the Trenches

i would also like to let the record show the fact that we got masters who returned Twice in the same month to film derek/obc in september 2017, which are the bootlegs that are probably the most circulated other than hartford, and returned again in january 2019 to film cody and constantine, and returned AGAIN for closing in march. two whole bootlegs of my guy cody simpson and uhhhh zero for zadkins <3 as god intended <3

this isn't even half of it but this is what i remember from The Dark Time. anyone else is welcome to chime in, this is a safe space to be a hashtag hater <3

#asks #Anonymous #anastasia broadway #the fandom lore so many of the new girlies don't even know about....... welcome <3 #i have witnessed it All i have Clarity i could write a paper on the rise and fall of this show and i will willingly blame it on that man #long post

[writtenonreceipts]

Part 2 for Spill - Elorcan

 not the best, but is the fastest i’ve written something in a while so we are going to go with it...

...

The truck broke down twenty miles outside of the city.  Her phone was about to die.  She had no water.  And it was the peak of summer so the sun beat relentlessly down upon her.  It was safe to say that Elide was not having a very, very, bad day.

She’d just wanted an escape.  It get out, to get away.  And this sorry excuse of a car was not helping.  

As Elide thumbed through her phone she fought back another curse.  She couldn’t call Aelin because she would want to talk.  Lysandra was on a weekend getaway with Aedion.  Manon would propose murder.  There was no one she could call except…

As her low battery flashed, Elide made a call.

“It’s Lorcan,” the low voice on the other end answered.

Elide swallowed stiffly trying to ignore the way her heart fluttered at his voice. “Hey, it’s me, could you do me a favor?”

“Elide?”  There was a small thump followed by a curse. “Hell.  Sorry.  What’s up?”

“My phone’s about to die, can you just come pick me up?”  She said quickly.

“Yeah.  Are you okay?” The question brought tears to her eyes and Elide shoved them back. 

“I’m at mile marker fifty-six, on the old Terrasen Highway headed south,” she told him.

“I’ll be right there.”

The call ended and Elide shut her eyes as she waited.

…

Lorcan may have sped.  A lot.

When he saw Elide’s truck on the side of the road he pulled off just behind her.  He’d been at the gym when she called, trying to work off some steam over the last few weeks.  Ever since Elide had gotten a new boyfriend, he hadn’t been able to manage his emotions very well.  Whatever he felt for Elide--it wasn’t friendship.  No, he’d passed friendship by after six minutes of knowing her.  Now, two years later, it was full blown infatuation.  

He’d never told her about how he felt.  Never tried.  Because he wasn’t the kind of guy women like Elide went for.  He was a bastard.  He was rough, cold.  He’d dropped out of college for the military only to return even more broken than before.  She deserved better.

So he watched her date.  And then Ress came around and that just made things worse.

Lorcan got out of his car and headed over to Elide who was seated on the tailgate of her truck, staring back at the old road that led out of the city.  This highway wasn’t used for main city travel leaving it calmer and less traffic heavy.

Without a word, Lorcan took a seat beside her.  He knew this stare.  He’d done it himself several times too.  It was the kind that was endless and soul searching and…well, there was something intimate about it that held the world.

Elide let out a long breath that trembled just enough for Lorcan to know how upset she was.

“Elide,” he began, hesitantly reaching out to take her hand.

She accepted the gesture, her small hand fitting perfectly with his.  Her pale skin contrasted with his tan, the flawless smooth pattern of it was soft against his callouses.  Different.  Incompatible.

“I don’t know why it matters,” she told him.  Her dark hair was in a messy bun, her make-up smeared just a little beneath her eyes. “I didn’t even like him anyways.  Not that much.  But it was nice to have someone.”

Her words were soft, almost carried away by an old toyota putting along.  They affected him all the same though.

“You deserve better than him,” Lorcan said, “he’s an ass.”

If anything Aelin had told him.  That woman gossiped like no other and enjoyed stirring up trouble.  She was also a strangely affectionate drunk--in her own way--where when he’d let slip that he had a crush on Elide, she’d immediately teased him.  Aelin had also told him to shoot his shot.  Affectionate and terribly illiterate drunk.

“You didn’t even know Ress.”  Elide let out a harsh chuckle and wiped her eyes with her hand. 

“He made you cry,” he replied with a shrug, “that’s enough grounds to call him a bastard too.”

She leaned against him and shook her head.  “Everythings so black and white for you, eh?”

“Only some things,” he said.

Elide looked up at him, drawing his attention down to her.  Her dark eyes gleamed with unshed tears and something else that he couldn’t quite read.  She’d always been beautiful to him.  The soft lines of her face, full lips, and intense brown eyes.  She was passionate, strong-willed, and cunning.  There had always been something about her that drew him in time and time again.  He would be a fool to try and fall into her though the way he wanted to.

“He told me I’m too bitchy.  And competitive.” Elide said. “I think that was because I kept beating him at poker though.”

“Like I said, he’s an ass.  Besides, I like that you’re good at poker.”

That got a full laugh out of her.  She threw her head back and cackled, gripping his hand tighter.

“You would say that,” she said.  Smirking, she swung her legs lights letting them sway lazily. 

“It’s true,” he insisted, “you take all the money on the table then buy me drinks on the side.  It’s the perfect system.”

The way she rolled her eyes and still clung to his hand did stupid things to his head and heart.  This was dangerous for him.  Spending too much time with her or teasing with her like this blurred lines that shouldn’t be explored.  It was enough to get him to pull away and jump off the back of the truck.  

“C’mon,” he said, “I’ll make Fen come out and get your car later.”

Elide watched him for one long minute before hopping down from the car.  But she didn’t walk to his car.  She stepped up close to him, her small frame somehow more intimidating as she put her hands on her hips.

“Are you walking away from me?”

Hell. “No.”

“Yes you are.”

Lorcan tried to brush past her to get to his car but she grabbed his arm and kept him where he was.  He couldn’t do this.  Not now.  Not when she and Ress had broken up only two days ago and she was obviously still reeling from it.  Her jaw was set as she held him there and Lorcan knew he wouldn’t get away with this.

“Can we not stand on the side of the road where anyone can run us over?” He grumbled, looking away from her.

“You’re not telling me something,” she insisted.

“It doesn’t matter, Elide,” he said.

“I think it does.”

Another staring contest.

“Lorcan,” she said.

And then he did something he’d regret.  Something that would make everything worse.  He kissed her.

There on the side of the road in the heat of the summer with enough chaos around them--Lorcan did the one thing he’d thought about for two years.  It was reckless and stupid and would bite him in the ass later, but he didn’t care.

Not as he dug his fingers into her waist and felt the soft pull of her lips.  And certainly not when she wrapped her arms around his neck, drawing him closer.

He didn’t know how long they remained there.  But when they finally broke apart, Elide didn’t let him go very far.  She pressed her forehead to his, looked deep into his eyes, a small smile curling on her lips.

“Elide,” he murmured, hardly daring to speak louder.

“Kiss me again,” she demanded.

And Lorcan, already head over heels devoted to her, obliged.

#elorcan #elorcan drabble #tog #throne of glass #elide lochan #lorcan salvaterre #elide x lorcan #throne of glass fanfic

[rkn001]

I've got to know, whats the process to your artwork, like how did you learn to draw poses and features as you do? Sorry if that's an odd question, just genuinely curious!

oh, that’s not an odd question; i appreciate asks like these haha! unfortunately my answer to this is going to be a bit long, so apologies in advance for that.

for poses, i devote an hour or two per week to practice a lot of figure drawing. it basically entails me collecting some references for poses, like the pose tool from posespace or pinterest (especially if i’m looking for some dynamic poses, though that entails being creative in how i search), and just... draw these poses from sight to the best of my ability. how i learn and how i practice is really just that. it's a great way for me to build a mental library of poses i can fall back to if i'm feeling like drawing freely without references.

but figure drawing can be hard and exhausting, and it takes time to work up to a point of drawing one figure for 10-20 minutes straight. and if that practice were my actual drawing process every time, i'd easily get frustrated every time i draw. so instead, (especially if you're starting out!) i recommend looking into gesture drawing, a method of capturing the dynamism of a pose in under a minute or a couple of minutes, or even a couple of seconds, without worrying so much about proportions and whatnot. imo this stuff is actually the backbone of figure drawing, because if you're not considering the overall movement of a character and just drawing the parts of the body individually, your character is going to look stiff and inanimate. think of gesture drawing as if it were like writing an outline to a school essay, before writing the essay! (in fact, i actually find that there are many components of gesture drawing which have wormed its way into my style.)

i guess face features are a different thing, because i tend to take bits and pieces of what i like from different artists' styles, and meld them into some alloy that is my style. sometimes i also do some face studies, but…not that much.

as for a general overall process to my artwork, i actually can’t give you a cookie-cutter recipe to do so; if you squint at my posts, you might notice that each does a different approach. it’s because i’m constantly experimenting with how i draw, and i’m constantly being inspired (re: borrowing some ideas) by many, many artists who do fantastic work all around. but...maybe i can give a simplified idea of my process, if that helps?

say that i'm drawing a character doing a thing. i would imagine the pose that the character is doing, maybe collect some references on said pose, and do a quick gesture draw using those references before drawing the character over that sketch while fixing proportions or whatever else. i guess an example of this would look something like:

(i used this reference, which unfortunately isn't really a great example since it's a photo of a toy and not a human figure, but whatever.)

but as i said, this is pretty simplified for a process; the actual process depends! it can be hella messy, hella disorganized, and hella experimental. hell, most of the time i don't even follow the above two steps; for the sake of economizing my time (re: laziness), i tend to fall back on my mental library of poses (for the better or for the worse i guess). as for my coloring process...i'm still trying to figure that one out lmao

anyway, this is getting too long, my bad. well, i hope this answers some part or parts of your question. if not, feel free to ask more questions if you'd like!

#ask #thanks for the ask!

[lrialthewriter]

Prologue: Oversleeping on the Big Day

Word count: 1,029

Links: Part Intro || Chapter 1 (tbc)

Additional links: Protagonist Introductions!

Sun shined through the window as a beeping alarm started to ring throughout the room. A groan can be heard through the thick sheets of blankets messily covering a young man. He slowly reached out for the alarm at his bedside cabinet and slapped its button, almost throwing it and a nearby pair of glasses off its places. His arm still rested on the bedside for a few seconds before he quickly sat up, his messy ginger hair and brown eyes shined as the sunlight hit him in the face.

"Ah my eyes!" He said quickly, stumbling out of his bed and walking up on his windows to cover it. He sighed in relief as he finally stood up properly and took his glasses from the bedside cabinet.

He looked at the clock, '8:00', while normally he would wake up two hours earlier, but he stayed up a bit too late for his liking. The fact that they would finally start attending university excited him. Still, he didn't like the fact that he let himself wake up this late.

"The only redeeming factor is the fact it's just orientation week right now," he sighed as he went to start making his bed, it's a habit he developed during his times at the orphanage.

After finishing up, he finally decided to undo his curtains and look at the view from his room, a sliding door leading to a decently-sized balcony. He is still taking in the fact that at one point he has nowhere to go, but now he's somewhere he might as well call a dream home. He smiled as he went to quickly go to the bathroom and get himself ready, excited for the events that may happen today. After a short while he came out of the bathroom, dressed in a plain yellow collared shirt, his signature brown cargo pants. Contemplating between style and comfort, he had chosen the former and wore a pair of simple brown loafers.

After he tried (and failed) to style his hair, he took his messenger bag on his study table that he had prepared last night. He checked the contents one last time, chucked his phone, charger and earphones in before walking out of his room. As soon as he opened his door a whiff of garlic scent could be smelled as he entered the living room.

"You stayed up too late last night?" Perlad turned to the open kitchen to see a taller male figure facing against him, cooking fried rice. "Got too excited I assume?" He added.

Perlad scratched his head and laughed a bit as he walked towards the kitchen counter to prepare the plates. "Yeah, sorry about that Said. I had told I was gonna have breakfast for today" Perlad answered as he went to start preparing hot water and putting loose tea in a pot. "Do you want lavender or just some green tea?"

"Green tea would do, you probably need the caffeine anyways."

"I'm not that tired, Saimin."

"Well you aren't fully awake either." Saimin shook his head as he finished cooking and plated up the rice as well as finally put the side dishes on the table. Shaking his head did end up loosening the hair tie he's using, this made him sigh as he went to take it out fully revealing his shoulder-length bluish light gray hair and retying his hair.

Perlad just noticed how his roommate had been fully dressed, as he wore his signature dark blue turtleneck with grey pants. He had also found himself staring at his amethyst pendulum dangling on his neck as he finished everything up. He had probably noticed him stare and snapped his fingers in front of his face.

"Per, the tea." Saimin said calmly, gesturing at the teapot that had finished steeping.

"R-right! Sorry!" Perlad immediately stood up and went to get the tea, making sure not to burn himself as he went to pour the tea for both of them.

The two went on to eat in silence, just enjoying the meal they had on-hand. That is until Perlad spoke up, smiling as he finished his tea, "So? Are you excited to actually see R.U.I?"

Saimin shrugged, unlike his friend he didn't give much energy, "Somewhat, we toured it but there's no students during that day, so it would be interesting to see how the school works." He noted as he remembered the tour two weeks ago, it was a vacation time for the students so there weren't any activities during the time.

Perlad gasped as he finished up his meal and picked up his plate as he went to clean himself up. "I still can't believe I ended up being a scholar for that school!" He exclaimed as he also recalled the tour, "It's so huge! It lives up to the stuff we heard about it a year ago!" He continued as he started to clean up the sink.

His friend chuckled a bit as he stood up and had put the remaining plates at the sink. "Well you did end up staying up late because of it, I'll go prepare my remaining stuff. Tell me when you are done" Saimin softly said, it seems like his friend's enthusiasm was somewhat infecting him, which is rare.

Saimin went back to his room as Perlad finished the dishes. They take turns on collective chores, which was something they have done a lot and have gotten a hand of just syncing each other with regards to tasks. After a while Perlad finished and Saimin walked out, now wearing his grey trench coat alongside his casual black backpack.

"Are you ready?" Saimin asked as he looked around as he did some last minute checks.

Perlad nodded, "Yeah! Let's go! We might be late for the orientation ceremony!" He said as he started to walk towards the door and wear his shoes.

Saimin shook his head, slightly amused by his impatient friend, "You are the one who woke up late" he mumbled as he also walked towards the door, by this point Perlad was almost out of the door.

"I heard that!"

"I know."

Links: Part Intro || Chapter 1 (tbc)

Additional links: Protagonist Introductions!

#RoVoices #P1Prlg #slice of life #comedy #they are silly #original story

[mayasdeluca]

This is my 2 cents about the recent reveal or release of the Danielle and Kevin photos and it comes from the Meet & Greet in Milan last week.

First, someone asked her about the comments she made last year, already to me that was crossing a line. She mentioned immediately after that she doesn't like to talk about her private life and here you go bringing up something in her private life so to me there was no need to bring it up again.

Second, and what I found more interesting than the Danielle bit (even though the thread was about her feelings) was this actually, "While my mouth was running, I mentioned the times I’ve blocked and reported hate against “Stephania’s photographer friend,” because I didn’t want to say his name and embarrass her". You're (the person who was in the room and wrote the thread) A. bringing the hate to their attention (even though they probably see it themselves). B. You won't say his name but you'll belittle their relationship by referring to him as her "photographer friend". Saying his name wouldn't embarrass her because she tags him in stuff, but if you're calling him her boyfriend when she's private about it probably would.

So because of this, I think the release of the pictures was somewhat intentional especially with FRR this weekend. There are fandom people that won't believe something until they see it or maybe she heard something inappropriate last week regarding her and Stefania. I legit saw a video on TikTok where the person said "I'm happy for Danielle but I really thought her and Stefania were a couple IRL" and that's a tame version of comments that have been made about them and it only takes "one bad apple" (said in my best Carina voice) to ruin it for everyone.

For me Danielle knew she would be seeing a lot of the same people from last weekend to this weekend and because she is such a kind, happy, smiley, laughing, bubbly person, she would never want to hurt someone's feelings or dream of meeting her by calling them out for whatever they do or say with regard to her private life so instead the pictures happened in a very timely way. Now she can see fans this weekend and see what they're saying now; like when stores/restaurants do a soft opening to see how people feel about it.

Thanks for reading all of this.

Sorry, this got buried under a lot of the con stuff but I wanted to give you an answer!

You could be right...who knows. I think fans just need to realize that their personal lives are just that, their personal lives. Whether you think you're being supportive by saying something 'supportive' about them, it's still not your place. There was absolutely no reason for someone to bring it up in that meet and greet, especially by calling him a 'friend' to Stefania. That's just super uncomfortable and unnecessary. Bringing up the mess that occurs on social media is also unnecessary. Just block the trolls and move on, you don't need to bring it to their attention. They clearly are aware of the stuff that goes on on there anyway, they don't need to know that you're one of those who blocks and reports people. Just do it. I don't get why people don't just keep the vibes chill and about the show and their individual projects at these meet and greets. There's no need to get into the other messy stuff. I'm glad it seems like no one ended up bringing up the photos or anything at the Paris con though despite them being released in between cons.

#asks #anon

[beterpbarker]

This is a tall order but I’d love to hear your pitch for a Spidey show or movie series if you’re down to share.

Hi Friend! @thespacevagabond

LOL first I wanna say I am so sorry that this ask has been sitting in my ask box for a couple of years now 😅 . I would love to give you my full answer but unfortunately that would take forever. Since you asked me this I’ve been writing down all my thoughts,I went overboard lol. I even went so far as writing out genuine scripts lmao. I’ve filled nearly a whole notebook at this point. I want to be able to give you a relatively coherent answer and I don’t really believe what I would like to see in  a Spidey show is unique so I’m going to try not to go into to much detail. One day I will post everything I’ve written down but today is not that day. I do want to answer you though, this just wont be very in depth (and it might not even make much sense lol).

Anyway to start it would be a multi season show, with maybe 7 seasons? That feels like not enough but i fear more would be too many. I’m undecided on whether it would be animated or live action but if it were animated I would prefer it to be styled like ITSV. The animation in that movie is some of the best I’ve ever seen and the style is perfect for the story. This would be as close to a 1x1 adaption as possible. The only real changes to the story I would like are ones that would simply make the overall story better for TV.

Now as we all seem to like to point out Spider-Man is basically a soap opera. I think that is one of the most appealing characteristics of the comics. So I would like to keep that element. The drama and messiness of a soap opera. I would also like to focus of Peter’s civilian relationships. I want his cast properly adapted and respectfully adapted. I want it to feel like the people creating the show have as much respect and love for the source material as the fans. I would start with the obvious origin story in high school but I would prefer him to if not be a senior in high school then start maybe near the end of junior year? I don’t want him to be eternally stuck in high school (I also personally find the majority of his time in high school fairly boring, I like seeing him interact with Flash, Liz, Betty and Jonah but god sometimes it’s just 🤷). At most we would spend only 1 season in high school.

I’m not sure which BIG plots and villains would make the cut but Norman is 100% in it. There are so many big things that happen and I have yet to try writing them out to see what flows best and would make the most sense. Overall though as far as crime fighting goes I would like a more subtle overarching plot with villain of the week style episodes thrown in. My only reason for that is because that is how the majority of the shows i enjoy are formatted and it’s what keeps my attention best lol.

Ideally there would be less action scenes compared to..well... everything else. I’m not the biggest fan of gratuitous fighting or explosions. The MCU style of movie/show were it’s big boring action scenes separated by one-liners is the worst style of movie/show. I don’t want this to be all action and no plot or character development. I think on of the best and most important part of Spider-Man is Peter and his friends/family.

I want to see Peter in his very first relationship with Betty. I want the love and drama and trauma between Peter and the rest of the Coffee Bean gang. I want to see Flash go from high school “bully” (that’s in quotes because is it really bullying when half the time Peter is provoking him lol) to one of Peter’s best friends. I want to see Harry’s struggles and the dynamic between Harry and Norman and Peter. I want to see Norman being himself. I am so tired of seeing creators constantly trying to redeem him.  I want to see the death of Gwen Stacy and the impact it has on ALL of them not just Peter. Ideally I would want Glory to show up too at some point but limiting myself to only 7 seasons and with everything else I would like to include I’m not sure where I’d be able to squeeze her in.

And I do want to see him being quipy and quick but I also want to see him being a dick. Because he is. I’m tired of the constant woobification of Peter Parker. I also don’t care for team ups (unless it’s the F4 or like Daredevil) So, I would LOVE to see his animosity towards other heroes and team ups lmao. I don’t want to see Peter Parker friends of cops. I want to see Peter Parker vigilante.I want the friendly in “You’re friendly neighborhood Spider-Man” to be sarcastic.

You know that scene in The Amazing Spider-man, I want more of this. Also I want little ways to show how incredibly smart Peter is. I don’t have a clip of it but you know that scene in ITSV where Peter is watching Octavius type from the vent he’s in and he’s clearly memorized what she’s typed. I want more of that.

If it were possible I would make the worlds longest show and adapt as much of the source material as I could while still keeping it a coherent story with a clear ending. However, I also don’t know how I would warp up my little (extremely long) show. I’m a sucker for a tragedy. I personally would like to see, overtime, how this group of people we love and that love each other slowly get torn down and apart.

(I don’t know if you’ve ever seen the BBC’s Merlin or if you even like it but it’s on my mind at the moment. and you know how it starts happy and hopeful aside from a few unfortunate events and then slowly circumstances get worse and less joyful and then on Christmas eve they murder Arthur and my soul. We all knew it was coming it’s an Arthurian legend adaption but it made you hope things would be different because you love them so much. But in the end no one really survives, just Merlin all alone in the 21st century. This isn’t really relevant other then I love the pacing and how tragic it was even though i knew he what was coming I wasn’t prepared)

Of the five of them I see the only real survivor of it all being MJ. Peter would be the last to die though. He’d have to be, I don’t believe there’s ever going to be a situation where he would/could give up being Spider-man for good. BUT not everyone likes a tragedy and I would like to create a show for all the comics fans out there tired of the MCU slapping comic character names onto their OCs and bargain bin heroes. So, I am not opposed to a happier ending. One where (like MC2 Peter) he’s been injured so he can’t be Spider-Man, maybe someone else takes his place (Miles perhaps?). He and MJ and end together maybe even with their own little baby Mayday.

I want to go into so much more detail, I’m struggling not to pull out my notebook to give you snippets of what I’ve written. I’m going to stop here before I give in. I hope this answer is satisfactory.I’m not very good with articulating my thoughts and i don’t believe I have any original thoughts on all of this. I hope you enjoyed my rambling and again I am so sorry this took me years to answer only for me to not even given you my complete thoughts lmao.

#txt #thespacevagabond #spider-man #this ended up longer than i wanted it to be #spidey #i think you sent this ask before covid lmao #this was an ask

[ocdhuacheng]

Hey, so can I ask about the thought process (idk words but anyway) behind why you headcanoned Hua Cheng as having OCD cuz I'm very interested? :0

KSJDNKSJDFN sorry it took so long to reply to this I promise I wasn’t ignoring you I was just overwhelmed this week and then after I actually sat down to write out my very long answer I accidentally unplugged my computer and I LOST IT ALL so sorry but this version Is going to be rather incoherent and missing stuff probably bc its pretty much just copied and pasted from one of my discord rambles/previous posts bc I don’t have the energy or memory to rewrite everything how I had it before.. but ive kept u waiting long enough so. Yeah. Sorry.

Also if I sound salty at all its not anything directed at you im just pissed at myself for writing like >3k words all in tumblr like a fool and not backing it up then accidentally yanking on my computer cord like RIGHT as I was going to post it. But I promise im actually very happy getting asks like these even if it takes me a long time to respond ;_;

So anyway basically the tldr version is that I have ocd and I love rubbing my terrible little projection paws all over my favorite characters, but also I do genuinely think that what we are shown of hua chengs personality and actions does naturally lead to the headcanon that he has ocd (and ocpd), kind of like how it seems very clear to me that wwx has adhd and lwj is autistic.

Longer version under cut bc. Well. Sorry in advance lol

So. To start off. my ocd got suuuuuper bad in my second year of college, like to the point where my parents and psychologist was considering putting me in a hospital, so i know how awful ocd can get. and because of that ive always been kinda annoyed that all the ocd """""rep""""" in media is just comedic relief kinda stereotypical clean-freak perfectionist haha look at this weirdo sort of thing. like I was barely functional I couldn’t do basic tasks the majority of the time. ironically, my room was extremely dirty and messy despite my main obsession being about contamination. so yeah not all ocd manifests as the spotless perfect room perfect closet perfect desk or whatever the fuck. sometimes its the opposite. I also got put on academic probation bc I failed all but one of my classes (the one I passed was an art class. Lowkey think that class was the only thing keeping me out of a psych ward that quarter. lol. But anyway. That’s a different conversation) BUT ANYWAY it was all around Awful. Like idk it makes me feel kind of stupid for being such a mess before my medications when everyone just sees ocd as a joke or something. like for example, i loove death the kid soul eater, and hes a good character to make fun of urself after you’ve been medicated for ocd, but i wouldnt exactly call him good rep lmao. But after that relapse episode, I kind of really really really desperately needed a character/story to relate to about it but yippee! there are approximately zero (0) canon ocd characters that aren’t comedic relief! but anyway, i know hua cheng isnt canonically ocd but i was actually able to project on him alot from what we got of his personality (and i do gotta say, sorry but despite my attachment to him i dont actually think hes written all that well, but thats another rant), and its part of the reason why i love him so much bc hes like, definitely my biggest projecttion in this regard. so anyway

i mean theres no argument that his personality and actions are very. obsessive, and rather unhealthy to a degree, especially when he was younger, not so much as he matured over literally 800 years lol but he still has some hella issues. so like, [gestures to all of him] with how he chose xie lian as. HIS PERSON, and proceeded to revolve his entire personality and life around him is obvi v obsessive, i think its very obsessive compulsive personality disorder, which is slightly different than just ocd, one difference being (besides ocd being an anxiety disorder and ocpd being a personality disorder.) in that with ocpd, you dont really think theres anything wrong with how obsessive or compulsive you are, while with ocd it causes a lot of distress. (i havent been formally diagnosed with ocpd, but i do think i definitely at the very least have tendencies in that direction too. Like with certain things i know what im doing/thinking is irrational and it upsets me, but with others im just like. why cant other people see this the way i do? why cant they just understand why this is important? like I just get so! Angry! all the time! with people or in general when things aren’t how I want them to be. I get so judgemental even when other people cant possibly know how specific my standards are like I know its bad and I know it makes me act like a bitch and im sorry) anyway……….. sorry about the tangent but back to hua cheng. he is never distressed by how much he fixates on xie lian, the only thing that distresses him is his own percieved shortcomings with how he cannot serve xie lian the way he wants to. im not sure im explaining this well but i do definitely think hua cheng has ocpd as well. his fixation on xie lian actively prevents him forming meaningful relationships with other people, and even causes a lot of antagonism between him and others (especially fxmq). he just doesnt think anyone else is worthy of his attention. which is obviously, very unhealthy and kind of sad. (i do like to think he grows out of this a bit like with yin yu and he xuan, even if he doesnt want to admit it. AND YUSHI HUANG, bc i am also a ysh/hc brotp propaganda machine as well, and well because she was the only one that was willing to help xie lian during the war too. gay lesbian solidarity mwah <3)

so this ocpd thing.. i believe it extends to things like how the temple in ghost city, or paradise manor, is set up, he'd be classic perfectionist for the layout of it all, probably gave yin yu a lot of grief over it every single time he changed his mind and decided to burn it to the ground or redecorate it because it didnt seem good enough anymore for the hypothetical day when he can bring xie lian there. i dont like to think hua cheng treated yin yu badly on purpose, i dont like thinking hes cruel to him for the sake of being cruel like ive seen some people imply or outright suggest, i mean yin yu is obviously overworked but i think part of that is just hua cheng is so perfectionist about certain things (how the temples and manors look, how theyre run, anything that can be used for or by xie lian in the future) and he just doesnt see that its become a large burden on yin yu because he thinks this kind of stuff is just the rational thing to do, and that everyone should put as much thought into these things as he does. and if he doesnt feel like he can get things to be set up the way he wants it to be it becomes. catastrophic lol

so thats more of the pure ocpd side, though there is a lot of overlap between ocpd and ocd obvi

one thing about ocd is like. its all about wanting to be in control of every tiny part of your life. like for me when certain things are out of my control it freaks me out so much that it basically disables me. Its why I hate planes so much despite cars being statistically much more dangerous. Because if something happens in a car I at least have some semblance of control over how I can escape the situation. In a plane youre just. Fucked. (sorry to all pilots its nothing personal I think youre braver than I will ever be but its basically impossible for me to trust you (and the engineers and inspectors) with my life like that) anyway, i despise ambiguity of any kind and i hate not knowing things or having concrete answers to any questions or worries i have. like. i couldnt decide on a hypothetical grad school because i was weighing the possibilities down to like, ridiculous perceived probability percentages of how likely a natural disaster were to occur in the area, and how dangerous said natural disasters could be, etc. (well. i didnt have to worry about any of that in the end bc i got rejected from literally every school i applied to LMAO RIP but anyway.) so you get the gist. its all just very irrational, and time consuming, and ridiculous to try to gain control of every single possible path your life can take. AND I HATE IT. that was kinda yet another tangent but, to apply this concept to hua cheng. one thing that i find super funny about him is how he always has his nose in everyones personal business like hes such a fucking gossip girl its hilarious. like jokes aside its obvi helpful as a ghost king to know whats going on in the 3 realms, but i think he takes his info gathering up to 11 like he definitely has these control issues about having to know about everything thats going on at all times, having to be on top of everyones business so he cant be caught off guard by anything. over those 800 years of sending his butterflies out recording things he was primarily looking for xie lian, but hes also just kind of. snooping. lmfao. Because If He Doesnt Know Whats Going On Everywhere He Will Die. (again)

and well. with his butterflies to help him, it does work, i mean. hes always on top of things hes always got a plan, hes always the one that people are going to in the book if theyre in trouble. He seems so put together but the things he cant get information on completely eat him alive sometimes. cant let others know that tho, bc hes Cool(TM), hes Chill(TM). cant let anyone know there are things that, god forbid, hes IGNORANT of. embarrassing. tch.

his hoarding im a little ? about because i dont exactly remember the details of it but i do know he has a ridiculous amount of like trinkets and weapons and magical items and stuff in paradise manor, but i also know he doesnt really care if they get destroyed or not, which is kind of strange but i do what i want and im making him a hoarder bc im somewhat of a hoarder and i love projecting. though now that i think about it. like if i have a big pile of something that i dont want to get rid of, but someone else does it for me without asking or something happens to it like yeah i get angry but sometimes i also just get kind of relieved……….. idk.

so now about intrusive thoughts, i bet he has suuper disturbing ones. Like we  know how he was debating slaughtering those humans on mt tonglu but ended up not because xie lian would have saved them. obviously that was already a stressful unusual situation but like i dont think that kind of thing gets any better even when hes just like. chilling. he gets visions of himself burning ghost city to the ground or attacking humans or destroying his own ashes or otherwise causing harm to others, like yin yu. like he pretends he doesnt care about yin yu and he xuan and stuff but i do think hes fond of them, but he tries to keep his distance because 1) hes dumb and 2) he gets really freaked out by these violent thoughts he has about them. the worst is, when he finally meets xie lian again he gets these thoughts about him too and it takes literally everything he has not to like. throw himself into a volcano, or something.

and its already been established his self image isnt. great. which is a kind way of saying it. he thinks hes worthless and ugly, esp if he does even the slightest thing wrong. I mean I definitely think hes better by the current timeline of the book, but it still reads as a kind of precarious thing to me? Like he wants to be a companion to xie lian instead of just a servant like wu ming, but even after 800 years he still feels this inferiority and disregard for himself u know? If im explaining in an okay way? and body dysmorphia is also something that can be ocd related. OH and i forgot to say this before but ocd/ocpd can also sometimes be a way that ptsd can manifest and id definitely say with all that he was said to have gone through as a child he has ptsd, leading to, well, exacerbated ocd symptoms, among other things. his body dysmorphia is obviously something he internalized (for 800 years!!!) from when he was a child, and i can imagine him absolutely agonizing for centuries over his san lang form, because it was supposed to be his most perfect form, he needed to make it perfect, and he never felt like he could

similarly, for the cleanliness side of ocd that i feel is kind of stereotypical? at least how its portrayed in most media, hua cheng has been show a couple times not wanting to get things (or xie lian) dirty. he was very poor and dirty as a child so now he has the connection of being dirty = being miserable, and this is taken to the extreme when he becomes a supreme bc now hes rich and able to be clean and any dirt or blood on him or something/someone he cares about (’cant let you down the ground is dirty’; shielding the flower, etc) is like. an attack on this power he has now ? iykwim

anyway sorry this is long and rambly. if you actually read it all… respect……. Also ignore those parts where I might get a little too personal :^) like idk if it is but I feel like I might regret some of this in the morning. honks. Anywayyyy as you can see im completely normal about hua cheng im saaaaaauuuuur normal and well adjusted and I just think hes neat oky byeee jumps out my window

#yiling-patriarch-kinnie #hua cheng #ocd tag #asks #tgcf #.txt #cc #anyway a lot of this is copied from other stuff so if anyone sees me repeat things verbatim from another post/chat..... mind ur business <3