#anyway. and she burns through our food so fucking fast and you know groceries are atrocious right now

[lovphobic]

tldr of the ✨️ household drama ✨️ today

finally confront kim (moms coworker) about how im Exasperated from constantly cleaning up HER dogs piss

she gets mad at me and says shell just stay in the (read: my) fuckin room

gets up for work. says nothing to either me or my mom. only thing she says is 'alright' to indicate to my mom that shes ready to go

giggles cutely. mad i stopped letting it fly arent ya! this isnt your house you are a guest here! you are here because my mom was kind enough to offer! you cannot be getting mad at me over this shit!

#like this is just what Im mad ab #shes not helping my mom w rent at all. she cant buy her own things. we often have to buy her dogs food and then her dogs eat OUR dogs food #anyway. and she burns through our food so fucking fast and you know groceries are atrocious right now #minor in relevancy to all of this but not minor on its own she doesnt even do the dishes right sometimes... ive found dirty spoons and #bowls and pans in the drainboard plenty of times. and imagine if i didnt. #ANYWAYS. LMAO

[horansqueen]

Stuck With You - Chapter 26

Chapter 26: Naked

🡪chapter 1  🡪chapter 2  🡪chapter 3  🡪chapter 4  🡪chapter 5  🡪chapter 6   🡪chapter 7  🡪chapter 8  🡪chapter 9  🡪chapter 10  🡪chapter 11 🡪chapter 12 🡪chapter 13 🡪chapter 14 🡪chapter 15 🡪chapter 16 🡪chapter 17 🡪chapter 18 🡪chapter 19 🡪chapter 20 🡪chapter 21 🡪chapter 22 🡪chapter 23 🡪chapter 24 🡪chapter 25

College Enemies To Lovers AU

characters // masterlist // instagrams // mood board

I wake up in the morning Put on my face The one that's gonna get me Through another day Doesn't really matter How I feel inside 'Cause life is like a game sometimes

But then you came around me The walls just disappeared Nothing to surround me And keep me from my fears I'm unprotected See how I've opened up Oh, you've made me trust

Because I've never felt like this before I'm naked Around you Does it show? You see right through me And I can't hide I'm naked Around you And it feels so right

I'm trying to remember Why I was afraid To be myself and let the Covers fall away I guess I never had someone like you To help me, to help me fit In my skin

click here to be on the update list

NIALL

                                     I woke up and rubbed my eyes before a small snore came to my ears, making my lips curl immediately. I turned slowly to look at Devon, sleeping on her side facing me, her mouth half opened, and I brought my hand to pull a lock of her hair away from her face. I remembered what had happened the night before and licked my lips. It seemed like the taste of her pussy still lingered on them and it made my heart jump in my chest as I felt my cock swell slightly more. It reminded me that I hadn't cummed and that I would really need to take care of that soon, or it was going to become a problem.

I got out of my thoughts when she moaned slightly and shivered, squirming a bit next to me. I brought the covers over her shoulders and sighed low as my eyes roamed on her face. I had no idea what we were doing, and I knew she had mentioned us being only friends but I could have sworn she felt something more for me, too. Perhaps I was delusional. Perhaps I wanted her to have feelings for me so bad that I was imagining things, and I couldn't help the fear living inside me... I couldn't stop that little voice that kept repeating me that I was going to have my heart broken, no matter what her feelings for me were. It was scary and I had no idea what to do. Deep down, I knew it was too late. She would either tell me she didn't love me, or she'd end up hurting me by cheating on me or breaking up with me for someone else.

I nibbled on my bottom lip and brought my hand to her face, running my fingertips on her cheek gently.

"Please, Devie." I whispered before letting my hand fall on the mattress.

I don't know how long I stayed there just watching her sleep and snore but I eventually got up, dressed up and left to get some food. The grocery store was almost empty and I knew it was early but I didn't care. I started walking down the aisles, trying to think of what I could cook during our few escape days and didn't even have to wait in line to pay. I sat back behind my wheel and grabbed my phone just to check if she had sent me a message but she hadn't and I was not really surprised since she was a late sleeper. I thought about how it would feel to go grocery shopping with her if we were together and it reminded me of the times I did that with my ex girlfriend. It was painful to remember and at the same time, it made me angry. Why was I once again letting a woman get the best of me? Why was I letting someone have so much impact on my heart? Why did I end up falling so fast for a woman I barely knew?

I was slightly pissed when I got back inside but I realized she was not awake yet and I walked in the room, sitting next to her on the bed. When I looked at her, all my anger disappeared and all that was left was a sensation of lightness. I knew my pain and fear were still there, buried somewhere under that well-being feeling but for now, I didn't want to look for them.

I grabbed my phone and snapped a picture of her with her lips parted and deeply asleep, if only to always remember the feeling invading my insides at this exact moment, and let her sleep to prepare our breakfast. I put fruits, yogurt and oatmeal on the table and when she appeared, I was almost done with the eggs and toasts. My heart jumped in my chest when I saw the shirt she was wearing  but I didn't know what to say.

"What is all this?" she asked, half a smile on her lips as her eyes roamed on the table.

"Three healthy meals a day." I explained with a smile. "This is the first one. You can sit down."

"I mostly thrive on coffee. Iced or warm." she admitted with a chuckle, glancing up at me.

"I know, I noticed." I pointed out. "It needs to change."

"I just hate cooking and I tend to just forget to eat."

"I noticed that too."

She leaned against the counter, pouring herself a cup of coffee and then a second one for me as I put the eggs and toasts in a plate. She stared at me working until I raised my eyebrows and pointed out one of the chairs with my hand. Her lips curled a bit more and she sat in front of me, sliding towards me the cup of coffee she prepared for me.

"You notice a lot of things about me." she pointed out after a while.

"Perhaps, yes." I admitted with a shrug as if it meant nothing. "Like when you walked in, I noticed you were wearing my shirt."

She pressed her lips together and I could swear she was blushing but it took her a few seconds to look up in my eyes.

"It's a bit too small for me but, I don't know. It was there, and I wanted to try it on." she explained with a shrug but avoiding my eyes. "Do you want me to take it off?"

Slowly, a smirk appeared on my face and when she finally looked up at me, she let out a chuckle and rolled her eyes. "That's not what I meant."

I chuckled too and started eating as she took a sip of coffee. "I know." I let out, still smiling. "I just thought it was an interesting choice of words." She remained silent but my smile fell and I became more serious. "Do you regret what happened last night?"

She sighed and stared at her place for a few seconds before finally looking up in my eyes. "I feel like I should, but I don't."

"D'you want to do it again?" I asked in a low and soft tone, raising my eyebrows. Her lips parted and I just shook my head. "Hey, no rush or anything, I was just asking."

I could feel my heart thump in my chest as her eyes traveled on me and I cleared my throat, taking a quick sip of my coffee, almost burning my lips.

"What's your plan for today?" I tried to changed the subject, not wanting to make her uncomfortable, and she blinked a few times before licking her lips.

"Uhm, I've felt the urge to paint, would you mind?"

"No, of course not. I wanted to work out anyway, I didn't have time this morning because I needed to buy some food." I nodded, grabbing the dishes and bringing everything to the sink. "I'll prepare the guest room and you can paint there?"

I turned around to lean my butt against the counter and she got up too, walking slowly to me. She stopped only when she was very close and tilted her chin up to look at me as my hands gripped the side of the counter tight, making an annoying squeaky sound.

"You really made me feel better last night, Niall." she whispered, licking her lips. "Thank you."

I looked down at her and brought one of my hands up to place a lock of her hair behind her ear. "T'was my pleasure."

Her lips curled and she chuckled. "No, it was definitely mine."

----

I worked out for an hour and a half and Devon was still locked in the guest room to paint. I decided to take a quick shower but I couldn't stop thinking about the way my shirt molded her chest and stomach when it was on her, and the face she made when she came the night before. I wanted to feel myself inside her so bad it was making me slightly dizzy and when I walked back in my room in sweatpants and a t-shirt, I could still feel my cock throb. I sat on my bed, leaning my elbows on my knees and sighed, closing my eyes. I knew I wouldn't be able to think about something else before I finally reached an orgasm but I was also aware that it was dangerous to do anything while I was not alone in the apartment. The truth was, I hadn't touched myself properly in so long, and quick shower masturbation sessions in the morning didn't really satisfy me. It made me realize that even when Devon was living with Lewis, I didn't do it and It surprised me.

I sat back, leaning myself with my hands a bit farther on the mattress and gripped the sheets with both hands. I really needed to do it but even more than that, I wanted to do it. I looked around my room and finally pushed myself further on the bed, laying down right in the middle. I let my hand run on my cock over my sweatpants and hissed through my teeth at the sensation before gripping myself harder. There was something exciting about the fact that Devon was not far and that I was actually thinking about her to get off but I couldn't help but wish I would do all of this with her instead. I took my cock and my balls out, wrapping my hand tight around my dick and squeezing it a bit before letting out a low 'fuck'.

I started thinking about Devon and how wet she had been the night before... how she squirmed and shook, and how she tasted. I could remember the way her pussy throbbed around my tongue and suddenly regretted not using my fingers or even better, my dick. If I had time, I would jerk off for a while but I was in a hurry since I had no idea when Devon would be done painting. I let my hand move up and down on my cock quickly, reaching for my balls with my other hand and I let out a low groan. My whole body was impatiently throbbing and I was extremely excited. That's why it took me a while to understand the noise I had heard.

I frowned and my pace slowled but when I opened my eyes, I saw Devon near the door, staring at me. I sat up quickly, my cock still in my hand, and my lips parted slowly.

"Wow, I just got caught." I chuckled while scratching the back of my head, slightly embarrassed as my heartbeats echoed all over my body.

"I'm... I'm sorry." she replied quickly, clearing her throat. "I just got here, I didn't.. I just..."

"No, Devie, it's alright." I replied, shaking my head and tugging my cock back in my pants. "I shouldn't have I mean you're here and-"

"You can keep going." she quickly let out, cutting me. "If you... If you want to."

My eyes opened wider in shock and my lips parted. I hadn't expected those words to come out of her lips but she started nibbling on her bottom lip with her head slightly tilted and I knew there was no way I would let go of this erection.

"You sure?" I breathed out as she nodded.

"Can I stay?"

I closed my eyes as my lips curled and I chuckled before looking back at her again. She had taken a few steps closer and glanced down at my pants.

"You're really something else, you know that, right?"

"Can I?" she repeated, raising her eyebrows and ignoring my comment.

My mind was racing when she sat next to me on the bed and I sighed, reaching for my cock in my pants and taking it out. I had no idea why it made me so nervous but lust overtook the stress and I leaned my back on the pillows before stroking myself slowly, my head falling back on my shoulder slightly. My eyes fluttered close and after a while, all that was left was the lust I felt for her. I kept touching myself slowly, not wanting this to be over too soon, but my heart jumped in my chest when I felt something on my legs. I opened my eyes quickly and my dick twitched in my hand when I saw her straddle me and sit on my legs. Slowly, she licked her lips and grabbed my hard cock in her hand, squeezing it and making me whimper low. I took my hand off and she started touching me, bringing inside me a feeling I couldn't describe. I didn't know how long I would last, but when she started nibbling on her bottom lip, staring down at the way her both her hands ran on my cock, one of my legs twitched and I cursed again.

"Come here, come closer."

She got back on her knees, getting closer to me and quickly, I slipped one of my hands in her pants, reaching between her legs. Her lips parted and her legs tensed as two of my fingers ran on her slit, brushing on her clit. I felt her drip, her wetness sticking to my fingers, and I looked up at her, panting low.

"You're so fucking wet, Devie." I pointed out uselessly, shaking my head. "Fuck."

I breathed out as I felt her thumb rub on the tip of my cock and slip between it and my skin. It made me stop moving for a second and I finally reached her breasts with my free hand. My fingertips slipped on her shirt, running on her nipples as they got hard under my touch. I knew I'd never have time to push myself inside her before cumming and from the moans she let out as I rubbed her swollen clit, I knew it was the same for her.

"Devie, fuck, talk to me." I whispered, sliding my hand under her shirt and grabbing one of her tits firmly. "How does that feel?" I ran my hand to the other one and she closed her eyes.

"It feels so fucking good Niall, please don't stop." she breathed out, opening her eyes to look into mine again. "Keep touching me."

I knew she liked it because from time to time, her hands stopped stroking my cock to focus on what I was doing to her but every time she'd start jerking me off again, it felt even better. She bent slightly to reach for my balls with her other hand and I groaned at how close she was. I could kiss her if I wanted, but I preferred to look at her while she stared right back at me. I didn't know why it turned me on so much, but watching her facial expression as I touched her brought me even closer to an orgasm.

"I'm so close Niall, so fucking close."

"Yea?" I asked, a small smirk appearing on my lips. "You're gonna cum for me, little one?"

Her grip around my cock tightened at the nickname I gave her and she nodded, her lips parting. I glanced at them and looked back in her eyes, my smirk getting bigger.

"Why don't you grind on my fingers?" i added low. "Show me how bad you want it."

She started doing what I wanted immediately and it made me feel dizzy to know she was so obedient. Her pussy rubbed on some of my fingers, coating them quickly, and I bit my bottom lip as I slipped two fingers inside her. She whimpered louder and I pressed my thumb on her clit as she let go of my cock to grab my arm tight, her finger sinking in my skin. She started shaking uncontrollably over me, her eyes shutting tight, and I moved my upper body closer.

"I want to hear my name." I breathed out near her ear, making her hold my arm even tighter.

"Niall, fuck." she let out low before moaning louder. "Niall!"

My cock twitched when I heard my name coming out of her lips and she came hard on my hand again. Her grip loosened and when I was sure her orgasm had passed, I took my hand off her pants and brought it back on my cock, spreading her wetness on it. She was panting as she looked down at my cock again and my heart jumped in my chest. Quickly, she reached for it and started jerking me off again, her hands traveling up and down from the base to the tip and sometimes caressing my balls and making me moan as I kept looking at her. Once again, her thumb reached between my skin and my tip and my hips jerked up at her touch.

"Darling you're gonna make me cum."

She moved her face closer and pressed her lips gently against mine as she kept stroking my dick faster. "I love your cock so much." she admitted in a whisper. "I've been trying to imagine it so often, and now I can't wait to feel it inside me."

It sent a rush to my brain and without thinking, I brought one of my hands in her hair and gripped it tightly. I heard her moan as I felt an orgasm coming. She kept jerking me off as I thrusted up despite myself, pulling on her hair a bit too hard. A groan escaped my lips again and my eyes closed as I reached my peak, my cum spurting on her hands and shirt.

"Jesus fucking Christ." I whispered as spasms made my body quiver. "I haven't cummed so hard in so long."

I remained sitting as I tried to catch my breath and let my hand in her hair fall on my thigh. She sat on my lap, cupping my face with both her hands and allowed her lips to gently brush against mine. It felt so good to feel her kiss me post-orgasm that I closed my eyes and made sure I remained motionless.

"Devie..." I breathed in-between two gentle kisses.

"Niall..."

"Devie, I-"

"Shh, no." she quickly cut me, kissing my lips softly again. "Don't talk."

"But I need to tell you-"

"No." she repeated a bit louder. "Please, Niall, don't ruin this."

I shut my eyes tighter as my heart broke. Sadness and happiness fought inside me to find out which one was stronger but it was a useless fight and I knew it. If telling her my feelings was a way to ruin this moment for her, I had no reason to tell her. There was no hope.

"I loved this so much." she admitted so low I barely heard it.

I swallowed hard and breathed in, trying to stop myself from tearing up. "Me too."

#niall horan #niall horan smut #niall horan fluff #niall horan fanfic #niall horan fan fic #niall horan fanfiction #niall horan fan fiction #niall horan writing #niall horan story #niall horan au #niall horan enemies to lovers #niall horan college au #niall horan uni au #my fanfics #swy

[starrynite7114]

Misconstrued: Part 5

A/N: Hello my lovelies! Finally back with an update! I think this one will please some of you, I hope, but this won’t end after part 6, at this point, we might go all the way to 10. But I do have another story in the works, I’m really excited to share it with you all!

Also, thank you again for the response I’ve been getting for this story.  I enjoy reading all of your comments!

Anon:  I don't know if this is too specific but could you do something about Angel ruining a date and later admits it because he loves them and then they have some angry smut and late night fluff

Word Count: 6731

Warnings: Angst. Mild violence

Previous parts

Part 1 : Part 2 : Part 3 : Part 4

Masterlist

Tag List: @iambabyharry​ : @justahopelessssromantic​ : @carlaangel86​ : @marvelmaree​ : @mrsamaroevans​ : @ifoundmyhappythought​: @woahitslucyylu​ : @cind-in-real-life​ : @briannab1234​ : @fairygardenss​ : @gemini0410​ : @everyhowlmarksthedead​ : @losolvidad0s​ : @whyisgmora​ : @comasi-world​ : @xserenax-13​ : @chibsytelford​ : @welovethesponge​ : @claytoncardenasbabymama​ : @jadert15​ : @bigcreatorwombatdreamer​ : @trulysuccubus : @pananegra : @summertimesadnesswithadashofsass​ : @encounterthepast​

Two weeks have passed since you and Angel broke up. You’ve avoided the clubhouse and your tio has not forced you to come, respecting your wishes. You avoided Carniceria Reyes, getting your meat from the grocery store instead. You went from work to home, occasionally stopping by the grocery store or some fast food place. You somehow never ran into Angel, which you were thankful for. 

There were times where you would listen in, trying to see if he brought someone home, but you never heard anything. You heard EZ, Coco and Gilly very often, but never another woman, which you were thankful for.

You thought the heartbreak you experienced with Diego was something, but this? It was the worst.

Half the time, you just found yourself crying without any provocation. And other times, you would think you’re at the mend, but the tears came again. You always thought people were ridiculous for crying over their significant other they had for a whopping month, but here you were doing the same thing.

The length of time didn’t matter, it was about the connection. 

And you definitely had that connection with Angel.

Diego was more present in your life, which was no surprise for you. At times, you welcomed his distraction, but more often than not, you wanted to be left alone. He just wouldn’t leave you alone. You’ve made it clear to him numerous times that you weren’t interested, that nothing was ever going to happen, but he didn’t seem to care. He resonated that he just wanted to be there for you, to make up for lost times. 

But you realized that at times, friendships ended for a reason. The more you spent time with Diego, the more you realized that you two grew up to be two different people and you’re not exactly sure if you wanted to have anything to do with him. Besides the fact he used you, Diego was very self-centered and he didn’t care for the consequences of his actions as long as it favored him. 

Laying on the couch, you had Netflix on to Avengers, you’re not sure which one, but you just needed some noise to silence your brain. It worked every once in a while. 

But most of the time it didn’t.

Diego was sitting on your armchair, just watching you. It truly pained him to see you at your current state. He thought he was doing you a favor by pushing Angel out of your life. What he failed to realize was just how much Angel truly meant to you. Even after Regina had called you out, you were never like this. After a few days, you were able to face Diego, but you couldn’t even bring yourself to face Angel. Diego would try to bring you to the clubhouse, you would refuse and throw a fit, it surprised Diego. You were never so cold towards him, but now, no matter how hard he tried, you just didn’t give him much of anything. You were cordial, would laugh at some of his jokes, but otherwise, he felt as if you didn’t want him there. 

It was new. 

He wasn’t used to this. You always smiled whenever he came around. You always cracked jokes with him, your witty response was what drew him to you in high school.

“You okay babe?” Diego watched as you looked at him, giving him a small smile. He knew you were hoping that would appease him, but it didn’t.

“I’ll be fine, can you stop asking me every thirty minutes?” You knew he meant well and you didn’t say it in a snappy tone, but being asked every thirty minutes was excessive.

“Sorry, just want to make sure you’re okay.” Diego felt small then, he was so used to you hanging on to his every word, blushing when he would be sweet to you. But this side of you, he’s never experienced it. You were just not having it. 

“And I get that, but you’ve been here with me, I’m fine.” And just like that, your mood turned on him. 

“But I know you’re not.” Diego countered. 

You really didn’t need this tonight. All you wanted to do was watch the Avengers, ogle over Chris Evans and Chris Hemsworth, occasionally Robert Downey Jr. The last thing you needed was Diego’s constant nagging. It surprised you how you felt towards Diego. You remembered vividly how much you adored Diego and always craved his company, but now, it seemed like you couldn't get rid of him. It was so opportunistic of Diego to pop up the day after Angel broke up with you, your favorite snacks and drinks with him. You thought it was sweet and a much needed distraction. But now, you just didn’t want the company. You wanted to wallow, cry it out, drink it out and eventually move on. 

You’re not exactly sure what Diego wanted, but you had a feeling it was along the lines of coming back to Stockton with him. And quite honestly, for you, he could go fuck himself. 

“Diego, can you just go? I just want to be alone.” You sighed, not really wanting the company.

“Please stop pushing me away. I know he broke your heart and all I want to do is be there for you.” Diego pleaded. 

You scoffed. “Very convenient of you to be here for me as soon as Angel broke up with me.”

“Well I blackmailed him into doing it so yes, I knew it was going to happen.” Diego realized his mistake as the words escaped his mouth. You were never supposed to find out. Diego didn’t want you to know that he purposely sabotaged your relationship. 

“I’m sorry, what did you just say?” You sat up then, anger coursing through your veins. The nerve of this asshole. How were you ever friends with him? 

“Look, Angel is in bed with the rebels, if your tio found out, he would murder Angel, Coco and Gilly, he might include you too because of how close you are to them.” It was part of the reason that Diego threatened Angel. It was to protect you. He knew how terrible it would look. You would be tried by association. Diego saw the way your face changed when he mentioned how Bishop may involve you in the trio’s mistake. You didn’t seem fazed by the information he dropped on you. Then it dawned on him. “You knew.”

“How could you do this to me?” You accused Diego, the tears welling up in your eyes. “You broke my trust so long ago, but you just shattered it now.”

Diego grimaced, his whole world was falling apart. This was not how he expected things to go. “Y/N, please.” He moved to kneel in front of you, but you immediately stood up, as if the mere contact of his skin to yours would cause a burn.

“You sabotaged my relationship, for what? I told you I was done.” You wrapped your arms around yourself as Diego watched you helplessly. “I love him Diego, and you ruined our relationship. I never did that to you, no matter how much it hurt seeing you with another woman. If you were happy I could live with that and be happy for you.” 

“But you weren’t happy!” He argued.

“How would you fucking know that?! You’ve been out of my life for four years, no text, no call, no contact, nothing. You can’t just march back into my life expecting things as they were. They’re not. Back then, you were the only thing I saw, the most important thing to me.” You began to sob. You hated that you cried when you became far too emotional. “You didn’t appreciate me then and you still don’t appreciate me now. You’re just mad because you’re no longer number one, you’re doing that same pattern again. When you could feel me slipping away, you come and tell me what you think I need to hear in order for me to come back to you.” You wiped the tears coming from your eyes, the overwhelming feeling of betrayal sinking it. “It’s not going to work this time. You don’t love me Diego, you love this idea of me you have, the person that would do anything for you, the person that hung on to you with every word. The person who looked at you like you held the sun and the moon, she’s not here anymore.” Your eyes connected with Diego. “You let me go four years ago and you can’t take that back. I just want my friend, not this guy who wants to rekindle something that's never going to come back. I need my friend."

It dawned on Diego just how badly he hurt you. The toxicity of how your relationship with him became for you. He realized too late just how much you meant to him, how much he couldn’t live without you. He wanted to tell you that he was miserable without you and how that scene between you, Regina and himself always replayed in his mind. He wished that he was braver to face the consequences of being in a relationship with you. 

You were right. 

Love wasn’t about being selfish, it was about loving the person you love anyway you could and at times, that meant loving them from afar. 

Diego watched as you continued to cry, covering your mouth to silence your sobs. The way your shoulders were shaking, he knew you could hold it in for so long. He cut the distance between you two and enveloped you in his arms.

He fucked up.

He was man enough to admit that.

“I’m sorry, I’m so fucking sorry.” Diego kisses the top of your head holding you. 

You wrapped your arms around him as you cried it all out. The frustration of this whole situation. You were angry at Diego, but you were also angry at Angel. He should have told you, you two were a team now, but you figured that’s not how Angel saw things. Maybe this was Angel’s way out and Diego just conveniently took advantage of it. 

“Come home nena, let home heal you.” 

You didn’t respond to him because running away doesn’t solve anything. You’ll figure out how to deal with it, you always did. Santo Padre became your home, regardless if Angel existed in Santo Padre or not. 

“You’re not forgiven, I hope you know that.” You informed him as you pulled away.

“I know, but I’ll make it up to you.” 

“How can you? You sabotaged my relationship.”

“I will, you just have to let me in, let me be your friend again.”

“I don’t think I can, not right now, the wound is too fresh. I can see why you did what you did, but like I told you, we’re done.” You weren’t ready to forgive Diego. His indiscretions were too much this time around. Though, you would think that the whole issue with Regina would have been a much greater sin towards you, but it wasn’t. This one was, the one person that made you actually feel love was taken away from you by the one person you wished loved you as you loved him years ago. It was kind of ironic, a twisted vicious circle. 

Diego nodded his head. “I’m going back to Stockton next week.”

“I’m glad. You don’t belong in Santo Padre.” 

“I don’t. You’re right.” Diego wanted to add that he didn’t belong anywhere unless you were there, but he knew that wouldn’t get him much. “For what it’s worth, I truly am sorry for what I put you through. It was selfish of me to blackmail him, but I was looking out for you.” He took a USB stick from his pocket, placing it on your coffee table. “It has the copies of the pictures I took of Angel and them. As a show of good faith.”

“Just go, please.” You walked over to your door and opened it, surprised to see Angel standing there, his arm up to knock on the door. 

He saw the tears in your eyes and he frowned. He heard you yelling and he immediately came out of his apartment to check on you. It pained him, but he knew Diego was over much more often. At times, he was listening intently to see if you let Diego in, but he always just heard Netflix and he was never happier to hear Avengers play over and over again. 

Diego and Angel made eye contact. The pure hatred they had for one another was evident and you felt the tension in the air.

“I’ll see you later nena.” Diego kept his hands in his pockets, walking past Angel.

Angel opened his mouth to speak, but you slammed the door shut. Sighing, he turned around and Diego was already halfway down the walkway.

“Hey,” Angel called out, jogging after him. “What the fuck did you do?”

“None of your fucking business Reyes.”

“Anything that has to do with her is my business.”

Diego scoffed. “She knows. She knows I blackmailed you and apparently, she knows about your shit with Adelita. Are you fucking with me? Did you just take the bait to get out of your relationship with her?”

Before Angel even knew what he was doing he punched Diego causing him to fall on the floor. Diego tackled Angel to the ground, getting on top of him as he attempted to punch Angel as well. Angel was able to block most of his attempts before he turned him around, landing shot after shot on his face. All the frustrations, the anger, the absolute hurt Diego has caused was being released by Angel. 

“You motherfucker!” Angel roared as he continued his assault.

“Angel!” He heard EZ call out to him.

He heard footsteps behind him, but he didn’t turn around. He continued his assault and he felt as if Diego was letting him. He was no longer defending himself.

EZ pulled Angel off of Diego with Gilly’s help. Coco checked on Diego and was slightly disappointed he still had a pulse. His face was bloody and he was groaning due to the pain.

“Fuck Angel, what happened?” Coco questioned.

“She was yelling at him, he upset her.” Angel was breathing heavy, all the adrenaline coursing through his veins. “She fucking knew.”

“What?” Coco, Gilly and EZ asked in unison. 

“Y/N, she knew about the rebels.” 

Coco and Gilly shared a look, which was not missed by Angel. 

“You’re fucking kidding me, how can you involve her? If Bish found out, he would wring her alive too.” Angel scolded. “This is a team fucking effort, how can you not tell me?”

“Angel, it wasn’t on purpose. She was talking to us about the cartel and how she wished we weren’t involved and it just happened. I’m sorry man.” Coco knew and Gilly fucked up, but they trusted you and shared that information with you in full confidence. 

“How much does she know?”

“All of it.”

Angel couldn’t believe this. It was the reason Coco pushed him to be truthful, to let her know about Diego’s scheme because she already fucking knew. He broke up with her thinking it was for the best while he deals with Diego when he could have avoided this all together. 

They heard the door open and saw you walking out of your apartment. You looked at all five men, Diego on the floor holding a handkerchief over his mouth. Walking away, you shook your head, done with the Mayans drama for the night. 

“Y/N,” you heard Angel call out after you.

Thankfully your car was right by the entrance of the gate. Quickly you got in your car, turned it off and reversed. You waited for the gate to open, locking your doors so Angel couldn’t open it. As soon as the gate was open enough, you drove off, leaving Angel behind.

He made his choice. 

He chose not to trust you and let Diego come in between you even though he promised he wouldn’t. You understood the reasoning behind his madness, but that didn’t mean you were okay with it.

Angel watched as you drove away. He made his way over his bike, but EZ stopped him.

“Just give her time.” EZ advised. 

“No, I fucked up. I can’t let her slip away.” Angel ran over to his bike and immediately went after you. He caught up to you quite easily and he followed you all the way to Bishop’s home.

He cussed under his breath. He turned his motorcycle off, going over to the driver’s side where you remained. 

“Baby, open up.” Angel knocked on your window. 

You remained looking straight ahead, grabbing your phone, you thought of calling Bishop to come outside, but you didn’t want him to fight your battles for you. And regardless of what happened with Angel, you didn’t want him to get in trouble.

“Y/N, listen to me, I fuck up. This is what I do. I was given one option and I didn’t stop to think of any others.” Angel explained. “I wasn’t going to let it go on for long, I was going to get you back. Please, mi Dulce, you have to believe me.”

His words were registering, they just weren’t sinking in. It was always like this. You were the sacrificial lamb or the one that they couldn’t risk anything for since their standing with Bishop and Marcus would be tainted. At times you wished that they knew that it was two separate entities. For you it was. You would never actually tell your tio’s about their member’s indiscretions towards you. Someone getting hurt over what happened behind closed doors was not your forte. There were times that you wanted to tell Marcus about what happened with Diego, to tell them what Regina said to you, but you didn’t want to, especially after what Regina said. 

‘What are you going to do now? Cry to your tio’s?’ Regina scoffed. ‘Only reason all these Mayans are nice to you is because of who you’re connected to, otherwise, you’re just some fucking tomboy that they all want to screw just to see what’s underneath all that baggy clothes. Don’t flatter yourself honey, there’s nothing to look at so you can stop hiding behind those clothes.’

Bishop watched from the window, debating if he should go out or not. It was hard for him as your uncle to really let you fight your own battles, but this thing with Angel, it had to be between you two. If he held back on killing Diego for using you, he can hold back on hurting Angel till you gave him some sign to do so.

“Is that Y/N?” Bishop heard Marcus questioned.

“Yeah primo, she’s in her car talking to Angel.”

“Angel, good kid, with a good head on his shoulders.” Marcus took a drag of his cigar. 

“Acts on impulse though.”

“You mean like you?” 

Marcus and Bishop both chuckled. 

“Just like me.”

“Is he going to be a problem like Diegito?” Marcus and Bishop knew all about Diego’s moves. It was naive of you to think that it wouldn’t get back to them, but they pretended it didn’t. They knew how it would greatly upset you if something happened to Diego and quite frankly, they didn’t want to deal with your mother who would most likely tear them a new one. 

“No, he won’t. Angel’s too smart for that and he actually loves her.”

After fifteen minutes of sitting in your car, with Angel now leaning against it smoking, you decided it was time to go outside. Angel would never leave you alone. You looked down at your phone, Angel saw it was Diego calling you. Pressing the button on the side of your phone, you ignored Diego’s call. Looking over at Angel, you gestured for him to move away from the door. Angel did and you stepped out of your car, holding your hand up when Angel made a step towards you.

“You have to believe me, I know how this looks, but I couldn’t let him jeopardize all the work me, Gilly and Coco did.” Angel explained. He noticed that you appear thinner than before, your clothes had always been big on you, but it just looked much bigger than usual. He knew that your break-up took a toll on you, but it did on him as well. It was difficult for him to be near you, yet, he couldn’t come see you. He would see glimpses of you whenever you would come to the scrapyard to pick up some parts for the shop or when you would help Coco out with his kid, but it was rare. At times, he would wait for you to come home if he didn’t see your car there and it hurt whenever you came home with Diego. “I love you, I didn’t want to do this, Diego followed us to Santo Madre and it just fell apart from there.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” 

Angel froze then, he didn’t have a good explanation for that because he should have told you. It was what Coco advised him.

“Why didn’t you tell me you knew about the rebels?” 

“So you’re saying this is my fault?”

“No, fuck!” Angel was frustrated, this wasn’t how he wanted this to go down. In his perfect world, after you found out that Diego blackmailed him, you would run into his arms and that was it, happily fucking ever after. But Angel realized this was his world and there was no such thing. “There’s no excuse, I should have told you, you’re my girl, I should have disclosed it with you.”

“It doesn’t matter now.” 

“What?” 

“It doesn’t matter now, you obviously didn’t trust me enough to tell me, which is fine. But I really wished that we didn’t start anything because at least I would still have you as my friend.” You crossed your arms over your chest, looking at the floor. You hated that it was difficult for you to make eye contact with someone when you were in a confrontation, but you were working on it. “For what it's worth, I’m glad I lost my virginity to you because it was with someone I cared about.” You smiled bitterly, trying your best to hold your head up high. “You hurt me worse than Diego did, because with him, at least I always misconstrued whatever the fuck our relationship was. With you, it was very clear that there was something there, I just misconstrued how much you trusted me.”

“Baby, please.” Angel pleaded, stepping closer to you, but you shook your head. “You know I love you, there’s no misconstruing anything, I fucking love you. All of this, I sacrificed this to assure my mission wouldn’t be done, but I would never leave you. You have no idea how difficult it was for me to end things with you.” Angel was going to wait till you woke up to break it off, but he wouldn’t have been able to do it. As soon as he saw the tears in your eyes, he would have retracted whatever statement he made and made it up to you the whole day.  “Just give me another chance.”

“You said you would never let Diego come in between us, remember? We went to the beach, you told me that you would never let Diego come in between us.” 

Angel remembered that and he regretted letting Diego come in between you. 

“I can’t take back what I did. But if you would give me another chance, I can show you that I am worthy of you. Diego’s the asshole in this story, I did what I did to protect you.” Angel knew he was protecting his own ass, but in some ways, like Coco said, he would be no good to you if he was six feet under. 

"Do you really think so little of me? That you couldn't trust me with the truth. This is bigger than just you, I'm just as much a part of this and I should have had a say. You don't get to make the decisions for everyone Angel, you don't get to decide what's best for me.”

Angel realized then that he should have just told her. This was bigger than him and she should have been part of this decision. If he was going to make her his partner, he should have spoken to her and made the decision together. Coco was right, she’s been a part of this life all of her life, if anyone would understand his madness, it would be her. 

"I was just trying to protect you" 

“Don't. We both know that's bullshit. You were protecting yourself.” You spat out. “So when were you going to tell me that Diego was blackmailing you?”

“As soon as I fucking buried him across the border.”

You nodded your head, chuckling at Angel’s words. “Yeah?” You took the USB stick that Diego had left on your table. Tossing it to Ange he caught it with ease. “Make sure you clean up after yourself next time.” You made your way over to Bishop’s place, unlocking the door quickly so Angel didn’t have a chance to catch up to you.

When you walked in, you saw him through the window. He looked up at you then, wanting to come after you, but Bishop appearing at the window caused him to halt his steps. He would wait for you at your apartment, he wasn’t done with you before and he definitely wasn’t done with you now.

“Everything okay mija?” Marcus questioned.

You looked over at your tio, nodding your head, giving him a small smile. “Yes, I’m fine.” You sat beside him, which in hindsight may not be a good idea since he was smoking. Standing up once more, you go to the kitchen to grab a glass of water. “I heard Diego is going back to Stockton.”

“Yeah, Creeper is back, we don’t have much use for him now.” Bishop sat by Marcos. 

You sat at the other end of the table, placing your glass in front of you. “Good, glad he can go home.”

“You know he stayed for you.” Marcus pointed out.

“I do, but it was futile, I’m not really sure what he wanted with that.”

Marcus and Bishop looked at one another, shaking their heads. 

“Maybe he wanted to apologize for letting that bitch disrespect you.” 

Your eyes widened at Bishop’s words, unsure exactly of what to say. Looking over at them, they had stern looks on their faces and you felt foolish thinking they didn’t know.

“You knew.”

“Of course we did.” Bishop scoffed at her suggestion that he or Marcus would know nothing about what transpired between her and Diego. “Your mother called us, demanding that we beat the fucker alive for what he did to you.”

It would be your mother. 

Amaya Losa was a force to be reckoned with. She knew her connections and used it wisely. It was rare that she called Marcus or Obispo for anything, so when she did, they did whatever she requested, except for hurting Diego. They knew it wouldn’t do anything but hurt you further. Bishop was able to talk his sister down and think rationally. He wanted to be Diego, strip him of his patch, but he refrained from doing anything knowing it would upset you. 

“Why didn’t you?” 

“Cause you wouldn’t have wanted us to hurt Diego, regardless of what he did to you.” Marcus knew his niece. He remembered how sweet you were growing up, always wanting to please your mother since your father died when you were still young. You saw Marcus as your father figure and it’s never changed since then. You never wanted to do anything to tarnish their names within the club, which was why you acted as appropriately as you could. When Regina called you out, you swallowed your pride and still showed your face at Stockton. 

You felt emotional, tears welling up in your eyes. Your tio’s always protected you, even if you didn’t know it. Knowing that they knew about Diego and chose to remain silent, it surprised you. 

“Why didn’t you tell me you knew about Diego?” You looked at them, wiping the tears that escaped your eyes.

“We never liked Diego for you, the fact you distanced yourself from him, knowing how much you meant to him, it was punishment enough. Diego was not the same after you left. He was just another member wearing the patch with no direction. Regina always tried to push him to become something more, but you know him, he hated being pushed or challenged.” Bishop explained. Leaving scars on his body would have definitely appeased their anger and your mother’s, but the way Bishop and Marcus saw it, leaving him emotionally crippled due to you walking away was much more jarring than any physical damage they would do to him. “Without you there, he didn’t have much of a purpose. He was a good rider, but never reliable with guns. He had a mean right hook, but again, Diego was just a good foot soldier. He would never actually move up the ranks. You gave Diego confidence because of your connection to us, but without you there, he was just another member with a patch.”

“I think you’re giving me far too much credit.”

“Maybe, but you didn’t see him when you left.” Marcus made a few visits to Stockton and whenever he did, Diego was quiet, not as talkative as when you were there. He didn’t have anyone to bounce off his energy with, to balance him out. 

“Why’d you come here? You rarely come visit me.” Bishop teased his niece, trying to lighten up the mood.

“Diego was at my apartment, he was annoying me so I decided to come here.” 

“Why didn’t you just call Angel?” Bishop knew that Angel had been gunning for Diego for quite some time. Ever since the day you slapped Angel, he noticed that Coco, Gilly and Angel watched Diego like a hawk. Every move he made, they knew about. It was slightly unnerving, but he didn’t question it. As long as they didn’t kill Diego, he was fine with whatever else they decided to do. He knew the three stooges weren’t that idiotic to kill a member. “He followed you all the way here.”

“Angel and I broke up.”

“You think Angel’s going to give up on you?” Bishop knew for a fact that Angel was not. 

It was only a matter of time till you let Angel back in again. 

If Bishop had to lock you two in a room till you made up, he fucking would. 

==============

The next day, you stopped your car in front of the motorcycles, watching as Angel, Coco and Gilly made their way out of the clubhouse. Coco seemed upset, immediately lighting up a cigarette as he walked ahead of Angel and Gilly. You could see Angel and Coco becoming heated with one another as Gilly looked on, you then heard Riz, and knew that some shit just went down. 

“You picked the perfect fucking time to come.” You murmured, shaking your head.

Just as Riz was walking away, you saw another car pull up and you knew that car anywhere. It was Regina’s car. Diego came out of the clubhouse then, his face immediately souring when his eyes landed on the car. 

You debated whether or not to get out of the car, not wanting to deal with Regina after having your talking with both Diego and Angel last night. But at this point, fuck it. If you were able to face off against Diego and Angel, Regina was nothing. 

Sliding out of your car, Regina’s eyes immediately went to you and realization hit her face quick. She always had a hunch that Diego was staying in SoCal for you, but he didn’t think Diego would go back to you. She sunk her claws in and she never thought he would break away. Being with a Mayan provided a status in Stockton and she needed to keep that. Association with the Mayans provided you protection and it was something she needed after all the shit she spoke to others. 

“You fucking kidding me right now? You came to Santo Padre to look for her?” Regina’s shrill voice rang out through the yard, an audience immediately forming. 

Angel noticed your arrival then. 

“Don’t fucking start Regina, the fuck are you even doing here?” Diego attempted to move her away, but her eyes were rooted on you.

“Three fucking years you haunted our relationship and you weren’t even fucking there. You happy now? You got your precious Diegito?” Regina made her way over to you, shrugging off Diego. “You must think you’re hot shit because Diego ran after you? It was only after I dumped him baby, and now I’m back for him, so just like before, you’ll be thrown to the side.”

Angel wasn’t going to let this bitch talk to his girl like that. He moved to stand behind you, wrapping his arm around your middle. “Is there a problem here babe?”

You couldn’t help but feel safe with Angel’s arm around you. His mere presence gave you strength and you were thankful for that, even if you were still upset at him.

“No, just Diego’s trash looking for it’s dumpster.”

You heard the roar of laughter coming from behind you, which you guessed to be Coco and Gilly. Your Tio Bishop and Tio Taza were at the porch, chuckling as well, hearing your words to Regina. She stood there, speechless, looking at Diego who was laughing as well. 

“Fuck you, you’re nothing but trash. You think you’re hot shit cause you have all these men around you, let’s see how tough you are when they aren’t around.”

“Name the time and place, bitch.”

Before Regina could reply, Diego dragged her off to the side, leaving you with Angel.

“Damn baby, I love your feisty side.” Angel kissed your cheek, his arm still wrapped around you. “Doesn’t it feel good to be back in my arms?” 

“Fuck you, Angel.”

“Name the time and place baby.” He was teasing you and it was irritating you, yet you tried to fight off a smile. 

Angel knew he was far from being on your good side, but the fact that you weren’t ignoring him anymore, he took it as a good sign. 

He’ll win you over, he was confident he would. 

==============

EZ stood beside you, watching Angel fight Riz. Boys will be boys and you laughed at how easy it was to handle conflict within the Mayans. Beat the fuck out of each other in the ring and it was a done deal. 

“So, how are you and my brother?” EZ handed you your usual pineapple cider they keep in stock for you. 

“Nothing there.” You shrugged, wincing as Riz got Angel in his back. 

“Right,” EZ chuckled. “You know why he did what he did. Angel is impulsive and he was trying to do everything to protect you.”

“I’m sure he was and so was Diego.” You took a swig of the cider in your hand, watching as Angel got the better of Riz. As much as you were upset at Angel, you still had to admire how fucking good he looked. “Wished people would see that my tio’s and myself are two different entities.”

“Angel sees that, but he also knows that you two have not been two separate entities for a year now. If he’s doing something, you’re more than likely to be involved as well.” EZ explained. “Bishop is a smart man, and he knows you and Angel well. He won’t be able to separate you two when it comes to shit like this cause he knows Angel wouldn’t be able to hide it from you. Regardless of how Angel handled things, you know he loves you.” You heard the gunshot, signaling the end of the fight. “You weren’t the only one broken up about it, do you think I like sleeping on my brother’s fucking couch? Nope, but I did it to make sure that he didn’t drink himself to oblivion.”

You two watched as Angel hugged it out. Angel looked over at you, a smirk on his face as the blood dripped down his cheek, sweat making his chest glisten. You watched as the girls waited for him and Riz by the entrance of the ring, waiting to patch him and Riz up after their fight. 

“Go patch up your man.” EZ playful elbow you on the side. 

“Go patch up big brother, Ezekiel. Sure you’re used to it.” You teased him right back. 

“Mi dulce, come help me clean up.” Angel stopped by the clubhouse entrance, pulling your attention away from EZ.

“Your brother is calling you.” 

“Yeah, no, think that call was for you.” EZ walked away, leaving you with Angel.

“I can clean you up Angel.” One of the girls who followed him to the entrance offered.

“Go right ahead sweetie, don’t forget to kiss his boo boo’s too.” You winked at Angel, downing the rest of your drink and turning away from him. Looking at the time, it was nearing nine in the evening, good time to leave. 

“You really gonna let some other woman clean me up?” You were started by Angel’s sudden presence, moving away from him. 

“Can you not do that?” You placed a hand over your chest to calm your heart. Being around Angel usually caused your heart rate to rise, but pair that up with being scared, it made it worse. 

“Come on, clean me up.” He took your hand, pulling you towards the clubhouse.

“Angel, that girl literally fucking offered.” You pointed out as he opened the door.

“Don’t give a fuck, I want you.” Angel led you to his room at the clubhouse, opening the door and closing it behind him. He sat down on his bed, his eyes on you. Crossing your arms over your chest, you were slightly nervous. Being alone with Angel was dangerous for you.

“Come on Angel, don’t do this.” You leaned against the door, thinking of a way to get yourself out of this one.

“Don’t do what? All I’m asking is for you to clean up my wounds, you did it before we got together, why can’t you do it now?”

“Angel, things are different and you know that.” You sighed, shaking your head. You opened the door and you heard him get up. “I’m just getting a wet cloth, sit down.” And you did as you told him, coming back with a wet cloth and stepping in between his legs. You cleaned the dried blood on his face, thankful that the cut on his nose was not gaping, meaning it didn’t need any stitches. “You should shower.” You instructed him. 

“You gonna join me?”

“Angel, I told you, we’re not okay, far from it. Just give me time.” You cupped his face, he leaned against your palm, sighing. 

“I’m sorry, Y/N, I really am.”

“I know,” you stepped away from him. 

“I don’t want to lose you. No, I can’t lose you.” Angel hated how dependent he became towards you, but it was difficult not to be. The feeling you provided by your mere presence was never something he experienced. All he wanted was to be around you, to be with you. 

You stepped back in between his legs and kissed him, his arms immediately wrapping around you, pushing you against him. Pulling back you rested your forehead against his, he kissed you again. You pulled away, putting more distance between you two.

“You won’t lose me. Just need time to figure some things out.” 

“We can figure it out together baby.”

“No, this is just on me. Got to work on me before we can be really together.” You wrapped your arms around him, missing the hugs Angel would give you. “I love you, Angel.”

“I love you too.”

#angel reyes #angelreyes #angel reyes fanfiction #angel reyes fic #angel reyes fanfic #mayans mc imagine #mayans mc fic #mayans mc fanfic

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Merry Christmas, wildamongwolves!

For @wildamongwolves. Hope you enjoy it!

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*****

Towels Are Cold, So Am I

Chapter 1

It's weird, but Stiles likes hanging out with Derek.

Sure, the circumstances are less than desirable: they're looking for Boyd and Erica, unable to locate the wayward Betas. And since Scott won't help Derek, Stiles decides he needs to be the one to bridge the gap.

They spend the last few weeks of July driving around and eating fast food in parking lots as they ponder over maps of the area.

Sure, Derek snarls and bitches that Stiles is annoying, touching everything in the car and leaving traces of his scent everywhere. He makes fun of Stiles' choice in music and calls him a monster when he sees how many curly fries he can stuff in his mouth.

But Stiles has fun, watching the lines form between Derek’s eyebrows when he’s mulling over something Stiles says. Like he can't believe Stiles is as ridiculous as he is. But he listens, no matter how much Stiles talks.

Like now, for example. He’s running through a list of things that he needs to get from the grocery store before they head back to the loft and Derek gives what Stiles calls his “Encouraging Caveman” sound. It means he’s listening, but he’s mildly distracted by something.

Stiles, vaguely amused that he's gotten so good at Derek's version of communication, notices immediately when Derek’s eyes glaze over.

“Dude.” He snaps his fingers near Derek’s face. "We need to get some more snacks before we keep researching."

Derek glances at him, his eyes dark and haunted. “Okay.”

Stiles studies him, thinking of all the things that must be lurking in Derek’s mind to make him look like that.

He's not one for empty platitudes, so he just leans forward and turns up the radio a little, lightly scuffing at Derek’s shoulder in a way that he hopes comes off as reassuring.

Derek glances at him again before looking back at the road.

The littlest bit of tension leaves his shoulders and Stiles definitely counts that as a win.

-----

It’s October and it's raining. Like, fucking pouring, and Stiles is debating whether or not he should get out of the Jeep. The parking lot of the library is practically flooded. His shoes are gonna be soaked.

He sighs and leans forward against his steering wheel, thinking he might be able to see something other than gray clouds in the sky, but no dice. When he leans back, he jumps.

Derek is standing next to his window.

Stiles rolls the window down an inch and hollers, “You scared the shit out of me. What the hell is wrong with you? Get in the car!”

Derek rolls his eyes and, a moment later, is pulling open the passenger door before slamming it shut. He doesn’t look at Stiles, just stares straight ahead.

“So…” Stiles drawls, “whatcha doing out in the rain, Big Guy?”

Derek doesn’t say anything for a moment and Stiles is about to roll his eyes or huff or say something sarcastic like good talk as always when Derek says, “I’m leaving.”

Stiles blinks at the side of Derek’s face, mouth moving, but nothing comes out.

At his silence, Derek’s eyes flicker to his face for a second before going back to the windshield.

Stiles turns and looks out the windshield too. “Where are you going?” he asks because he can’t ask the question he really wants to, not yet.

“South America, with Cora,” Derek murmurs.

Stiles hums, picking at a piece of leather that’s peeling off his steering wheel. “Pretty warm there.”

“Still pretty rainy.”

Stiles nods. They sit in silence for a long time, the rain pattering against the Jeep the only sound.

Finally, Stiles whispers, “Why?”

“Because there’s nothing left for me here.”

And he gets it, he does. But it hurts, oh yes it does, it hurts quite a bit because Stiles could have sworn that they were starting to get somewhere, the two of them. Maybe Stiles was reading too much into it, but he wasn't sure he was.

Hell, they'd even hugged the last time they parted ways and, as awkward as it had been, it was nice and he thought... he thought...

“I don’t want you to go,” he confesses in a small voice.

Derek closes his eyes, his hands fisted on his thighs, his face twisted in pain.

Stiles waits, hoping that Derek will say something that means he feels even remotely the same.

A long beat of silence passes, the rain pounding the roof of the Jeep.

Stiles isn’t stupid. He gets the picture. He's seventeen and ridiculous and Derek isn't interested in him like that and god he's such an idiot.

He feels like a fucking joke as he nods, staring down at his hands. “Well,” he finally croaks, “I… I hope you find some place good.”

“Me too.” There’s a beat of silence before he whispers, “Goodbye Stiles.”

There’s the slightest ghost of fingertips against the side of his neck then the door opens and Derek is gone.

And Stiles is alone in his car again, the strong rain-wet scent of Derek making his nose and eyes burn.

-----

The first time Derek reappears in Beacon Hills, Stiles is almost sure he’s hallucinating again. After all, isn’t his brain still a little wonky from the Nogtisune? Derek used to be a frequent star in his visions, after all.

And since he’s in the woods alone at night, looking for a witch’s familiar, of course he’s gonna imagine Derek because why the fuck not?

It’s been two years since Stiles has seen him. More than that.

But, apparently, there Derek stands. His hair is a little longer, he's got the beginnings of a beard, and there are a few more lines around his eyes. He looks so good and what the fuck –

“What the fuck are you doing here?” he almost shouts, the orb of light in his hand flickering.

Derek jerks back, looking vaguely confused. “I had to get something from the vault. I thought I’d check on the house. Then I heard someone out here.”

“The vault? I, what?” Stiles sputters. He’s suddenly so angry, it’s almost blinding. “I thought you were dead!”

“Why would you think that?”

“Because you fucking vanished and no one’s heard from you for over two years and your luck is astronomically bad! What else were we supposed to think?!”

“That’s ridiculous, I’m fine.” Derek looks down at the orb in Stiles' hand then back to his face. “What’s going on? Why are you out here?”

Stiles rolls his eyes and god, it’s almost like Derek never left. Like This is private property and the long days and nights they spent looking for Boyd and Erica and – focus Stiles.

He starts walking the way he was going, sure that Derek will follow him since there’s no way he’s real anyways. “We have a very angry witch on our hands. She’s not happy that Scott tried to tell her she wasn’t allowed to use the Nemeton to fuel a revenge spell.”

Derek snorts, drawing up to Stiles’ left side and scanning the trees. “Yeah, because that’s always worked well for spell casters in the past.”

He gives a conceding gesture. “Which he tried to tell her, but she didn’t want to listen, so she tapped into the damn tree anyways. It’s given her hella power and she’s killed three people.”

Derek’s thoughtful hum is familiar enough to make Stiles glance over at him.

He’s got to be a fucking figment of Stiles’ imagination.

He glances down at his fingers. Only ten. But the situation still feels so surreal. He decides for now that he’ll talk to his Fake Derek to abate some of his anxious nerves like he used to and examine his mental health later.

“So, anyways,” he continues, “not only is there a body count, the negative power is starting to seep into the land, so I’m stuck trying to figure out what her tether is and what do I find? Her fucking familiar! Which is great, but can you guess what it is?” He snorts. “Oh my god, it’s so stupid.”

“What is it?”

“A fucking mountain lion. She's been using a mountain lion to kill people!” He lets out a hoarse laugh. “Like, what the actual fuck, right?”

Derek huffs. “The irony isn’t lost on me, Stiles.”

“Oh I know, dude, I know.”

Derek frowns again. “Don’t call me dude.”

Stiles is about to snap back that he can call his Imaginary Friend Derek whatever he wants when he’s shoved to the side all of a sudden.

He sputters, looking up at Derek, who’s wolfed-out and growling at a mountain lion.

Can hallucinations shove people? If Derek just shoved Stiles, then he has to be real, right?

But there were plenty of times Stiles was convinced he was awake when he wasn’t and fuck he really doesn’t need to have an episode or something right now –

“Stiles! Now would be a good time to do something!” Derek snaps, jolting Stiles from his contemplation.

“Fuck,” he hisses, sitting up. His hands are pouring blood from his unceremonious meeting with the forest floor. He figures, waste not want not, and licks one of his palms, the dirt and blood a disgusting mix on his tongue. He rolls it around his mouth, jumping to his feet.

“Get out of the way!” he shouts and Derek dives to the side right as the mountain lion lunges.

Stiles catches the large cat’s face in his hands, grunts at the feeling of claws digging into his thighs, and severs the creature’s connection to the witch with a push of his Spark.

An ear-splitting shriek shakes the woods.

The mountain lion falls to the ground, writhing and contorting for a moment before it stills, clearly unable to live without its connection to the witch.

Stiles takes a deep breath, the pushback from his spell like a punch in the gut as his legs give out, and shoves his hands against the ground. He pushes the extra energy along the nearest ley line and funnels the brightness toward the Nemeton. He snaps the link and almost pukes at the feeling.

He floats in the ether for a moment. The others are sure to be able to handle the witch now. He should probably go find them, help them…

“Stiles, Stiles!”

He jerks, his eyes finding Derek’s. “Oh shit, you’re still here.”

Derek stares at him. “You’ve got blood all over you. Where are you hurt?”

He laughs. He grew up in Beacon Hills. He’s fucking hurt everywhere. Derek should know that firsthand.

“Stiles?” Derek’s voice is careful.

He shakes his head, face still cracked in a smile. “I’m fine, man.” He glances at his palms. “Eh, well, I’ll live this time. Yay me!” He tries to stand but his legs buckle.

Derek snatches him before he can hit the ground.

“I’m good, I just, oohh boy. Too much. Too much.” He sighs, the pounding in his head telling him that he definitely used too much of his Spark with not enough preparation. “I just… need to lie down. I’ll be okay.”

“I’m taking you to the clinic.” He scoops Stiles into a bridal carry and starts back through the woods.

Stiles tries to protest, but he can’t walk, so it seems like he’s along for the ride. He tries to reason, “I need to help the others.”

“You’re in no condition to do that right this second.” Derek tilts his head, listening. “Besides, I think they’ll be fine. It sounds like the fight is winding down.”

"You really look like a puppy when you do that."

Derek's voice is as dry as the desert. "Dog jokes, really? Aren't you a little old for that?"

“Fucking hell, I am so good at imagining things,” he states, closing his eyes. “I even got your Stiles-You’re-So-Dumb voice right.”

Derek doesn’t say anything, just tightens his hold and quickens his pace.

He presses his face to Derek’s chest. Derek smells exactly the same and Stiles can’t help but mutter, “Missed you.”

It’s easy to slip into darkness.

-----

Stiles wakes up at the vet clinic, his hands and thighs bandaged, and feels like someone beat him with a baseball bat.

The witch is gone, the others are fine, and he’s got a migraine from Hell.

He goes back to Scott’s house and checks in with the rest of the pack, allowing them to scold him for being reckless and praising him for helping with the familiar. He leaves before the pizza arrives, not so much for socializing anymore.

He almost wants to ask if anyone saw Derek the night before, but stops himself. Surely someone would have mentioned if Derek was back in town, right?

If he was seeing things, he doesn’t want to worry his friends. It could very well be that he made his own way to the clinic, envisioning Derek as a way to keep him upright and moving.

And if he wasn’t seeing things, if Derek was there and helped him and disappeared again…

Well, Stiles has learned that it doesn’t do to dwell on the past.

#wildamongwolves #stereksanta20 #*fic20 #*gifts20

[shereadsandwritesformelanin]

The Baker And Her Actor: part IV [Click, Click, and Post!]

Parings: Chris Evans x Black Fem!Reader

Summary: You meet Chris while making a house delivery for the Evans. He can’t get you off of his mind, and to be honest neither can you.

Warnings: profanity, sexual content, angst, but overall fluff!

Notes: I hope you guys enjoy! If you have any request feel free to share those. Leave comments in the notes section!

Previous parts: (1) (2) (3) (3 cont.)

-

Y/n’s Point Of View:

Body aching, you shift once more before waking up.

You let out a loud groan of fustration. You’d beeen tossing and turning all night.

You were sad and felt like an idiot for what you did to Chris. Running off like Cinderella with no explinatiom was just so pathetic, especially after the perfect night you to had.

You knew you wanted to take things slow and you should have just conveyed that instead of running off no questions asked.

You needed to make things right.

Rolling over reaching into your night stan you grab your phone yanking out the charger.

Two missed calls from Kiara.

One text message from deac.

Three twitter notifications.

Nothing from Chris.

Sighing, you make your way over to the messages app. Opening up the messages between you and Chris.

Reluctantly you begin typing worried to wake him or if he’d be too upset and just leave you on read, and well who could you really blame if he did.

Y/n: Hi.

It had been fifteen minutes since you sent that lackluster texts message.

He’d probably seen it and thrown it and you away for some other hot Hollywood chick he had stored in his phone.

How was it possible to even screw that up.

Well great job Y/n another one bites the dust.

-

Chris’s Point Of View:

I’d be lying if i say I hadn’t seen your message. I wasn’t busy, I wasn’t doing anything at all.

I was just confused. You had me confused, confused enough to sit on my sofa coffee in hand watching my phone hoping you’d text again or even call.

I shouldn’t be a dick. I’m sure you had your reasons for pulling away, maybe it was too fast or you weren’t really into me.

Were you using me?

No I can’t think that, you’d never. You didn’t seem like the type. If you were you’d done it already and wash your hands with me by now.

Just fucking text her back, meatball.

Chris: Hi.

-

Y/n’s Point Of View:

Your phone pinged from across the room. Hearing the alert almost made you jump across the terrain of your bedroom.

Notification from The Captain.

Your heart nearly stopped. He finally responded like you hoped he would.

The Captain: Hi.

Shit he seems upset.

Call him.

Setting aside your nerves and pride you dial his number hoping he’d pick up so you wouldn’t make a fool of yourself once more.

Pick up.

Pick up.

C’mon pick up

Just pick up th-.

“Hello.” His raspy voice answers.

Oh

“Hello- erm good morning.” You state attempting to should chipper.

“Good morning y/n.” Chris repeats.

Just cut to the chase.

“So..about last night.’ You mutter. “I just want you to know it’s not you I promise I’m just stupid and shouldn’t have pulled away you were nothing but great I just. I’m not sure why I did that.”

Lying obviously.

“Y/n. You don’t have to explain anything to me, I’m not upset. I’d be lying if I say I wasn’t shocked and confused. But I’m not upset or blaming you.” Chris reassures.

Even through the phone he managed to convey his bubbling emotions.

“Can I see you today.” You ask nerves bubbling in your chest.

“What do you have in mind?”

-

You arrive at Chris’s house after an slight delay at the security gate. You couldn’t believe they thought you were there to “violate the tenants homes.”

Y/n: I’m outside.

The Captain: Im coming.

Finally you see Chris, jogging out of his home making sure to lock the door on his way out.

You unlock the door allowing him to jump into the passenger seat.

“Hey, sorry I was late dodger was being a tad bit fussy.” Chris apologizes.

“No, I’m sorry you have to be in my half ass car.” You joke

“No it’s great. Seriously!’ Chris reassures. “You got leather seats and Evan a sun roof.”

“Chris its a thirteen year old car, I’m suprised she’s still going.”

“Speaking of going. Where are we going?” Chris quips

“You’ll see.” You smirk

-

“A farmers market?” Chris questions stepping out of the car.

“Yes this is where I get my produce I don’t want any of the pesticides in grocery store produce.” You explain grabing your reusable grocery bags from the back seat.

“I hadn’t even thought about that before.’ Chris admits. “Let me get that for you.” Taking the bags from you slinging them over his shoulder.

You notice him slipping on some sun glasses. It wasn’t sunny at all, it was actually quite dull out.

“What’s with the glasses MIB?” You tease.

“Just not in the mood to be recognized, thats all.”

Sometimes when you were with Chris it slipped your mind that he was a wildly famous A-list celebrity. So you could understand the need for privacy and not wanting to be noticed all the time.

“Mm.’ You say. “Oh I always wanna get these Dutch donuts for my team. They’ve been working so hard I think they deserve something.”

“That’s sweet of you. I can help you bring them.” Chris offers

“If you want, but warning kiaras there and she’ll be a little bit over the top.” You warn

“Yeah I figured that when she pretended to not know I was in the house on our date.” Chris admits chuckling lightly.

You let a small smile paint your face thinking back to your date. “So about our date, I really wanna be honest and transparent here.” You say picking threw a pile of apples.

Chris faces you giving his undivided attention. It was clear to him there was something you wanted to get off your chest since you continued to peruse the conversation.

“It’s just, I haven’t talked to a guy, been with a guy, touched a guy in five years since my last serious relationship and I freaked out.” You admit sheepishly.

You couldn’t look at him you were too embarrassed.

You felt Chris slip his hand onto your free one rubbing across its skin comforting.

“Y/n like I said before you don’t have to explain it to me. I’m not upset, but I’m glad you feel comfortable enough to tell me this. I want what you want. We can take this as slow as you’d like.” Chris clarifies

You for sure felt like Chris was a safe space for you. He wasn’t judging you or shaming you. He was kind and understanding, another thing you loved about him.

“Let’s get their donuts.” You say.

-

“Ladies first.” Chris smirks opening the door for you, hands full of donut boxes.

You cheeks burn the heat rising he definitely knew what he was doing being so cheeky.

“Guys I brought snacks!” You shout hoping to catch their attention in the back.

Kiara springs out from the kitchen, hair in a bun outfit covered in flour. “Yes you did, and I’m not talking about the food.” Kiara flirts undressing Chris with her eyes.

Chris erupts in a belly laugh. You knew she was only kidding but you felt a little jealous, even though he wasn’t yours.

“Okay.’ You interrupt sass in your voice. “so I have different assortments of donuts. So take your pick and choose wisely.”

You feel a familiar hand rest on your shoulder. “You okay.” Chris ask eyebrows furrowed.

“Yeah, yes I’m great.” You lie shaking off the bad vibes.

Chris shoots you a small smile, Warming your heart.

You notice Deac coming out of the kitchen. Arms crossed tightly.

“What’s all this.” Deacon speaks.

“Uh this, is me bringing you guys a treat for you hard work.” You motion to all the donuts

“And him.” Deac points at Chris .

The room goes stiff.

Please not now.

Deacon let’s out a sarcastic chuckle. “I just don’t understand, I’ve known your for a long ass time and you’ve never gone out with me, there is always some excuse, but you meet mr. hot shot Hollywood and your all over him. Just don’t be disappointed when he lets you down y/n.” Deacon states practically shouting.

The room was silent as he threw his Apron down rushing out of the building.

Your heart raced, turning to face Chris you notice he was quite red. Clearly flustered but what just went down.

“I should go.” Chris states hesitantly

“How you didn’t drive?” You remind him

“Don’t worry about me.” Chris says turning to walk out.

“Chris Wait!” You shout following him out.

“Y/n, it’s fine I should get going anyway. I don’t wanna damper the party.” Chris admits voice soft

“You aren’t, please don’t be mad.” You plead

Chris brings you in for a hug placing a small kiss on your hairline. “I’m not mad I promise.” Chris states

You both stay embrace in each other for what seems like an eternity.

A sudden shift in Chris body causes your eyes to shoot open. “Shit.” He whispers shouts

Pulling back immediately.

“What, what is it?” You question anxiously

“I got to go, go back inside please.” Chris begs walking away.

You follow his orders walking back in side completely baffled by what’s just happened.

-

Chris’s Point Of View:

Getting back home I quickly get on the phone.

“Megan, yeah we have a problem.” I state prepared to tell her everything.

Everything about how I’d been seeing you, how a pap had just shot about 50 photos of us in the span of .5 seconds.

This wasn’t good, and was the last thing I wanted for you.

“Chris this could be all over the news by tomorrow morning, what were you thinking.” Megan shouts

“I wasn’t! I thought we were safe!” I rebuttle.

“How do you know she didn’t call the paparazzi? It wouldn’t be the first time someone you’ve been talking to has done that.” She reminds me

Sitting back down I place my head in my palms fustrated. “I know I know.” I repeat.

“We can fix this, we have to for y/n’s sake she isn’t ready for the wolves yet.” I speak.

-

A/n: so like I stated previously this is based off the beauty and the baker on abc and I don’t wanna pull to far from that. So Deacon is gonna be our Vanessa 🤣.

But I know things seem rocky but they are in a good spot. Their both confused and now Chris is angry that he put you in that position to get violated by the public.

Kiara is just jokingly flirting nothing serious she supports them!

This is gonna be a long tale for our love birds. ❤️

-

Tag list:

@toniilaney

#henry cavill #chris evans angst #chris evans #chris evans fandom #chris evans fanfiction #chris evans x y/n #chris evans x y/n #Chris Evans x poc #Chris Evans x black reader #Chris Evans x ofc #Chris Evans X woc #chris evans imagine #slow burn #slow build #relationship #chris evans smut

[psycho-slytherin]

Strangers ch. 38

Surprising the boys for dinner doesn’t quite go as planned.

Pairing: Yoongi x Actress!Reader

Word count: 2k

Genre: fluff, angst

|mlist|

<–– Prev   Next ––>

Yoongi clears his throat, leaning against the doorframe. His hair is messy, his pale cheeks tinged red. “I mean… What are you doing here? How did you get in?”

“Th-the door was unlocked,” you breathe, feeling as though you walked in on him doing something a lot more intimate than recording. His appearance does not help. If you hadn’t just heard him rapping, you’d think he was, well… “I- you said we could do dinner.”

“And you said probably not, so we figured you were busy. We have the night off, the guys are all out…” Yoongi looks around as though hoping one of the members will pop out of the woodwork. 

“Oh.” You get the hint– clearly he wants you to leave. “Sorry. I’ll be going, then–”

“Ah, shit. Sorry, no, you don’t have to.” Yoongi scratches his head. “I just wasn’t expecting- I mean, I look like a mess-”

You laugh, reaching up to ruffle his hair further. “You look like you’ve spent hours in this studio. It’s a cute aesthetic, though. Your fans would go crazy over it.”

“Does that include you?” Yoongi replies, now back to his teasing self.

You feel your heartbeat quicken. “Nah. Anyways, I should be going–” 

“Hey, wait.” Yoongi tugs at your arm as you turn to leave. “Stay. I don’t mind. Maybe you’ll inspire-” he shuts up, pressing his lips together.

“Maybe I’ll what?”

“Nothing. Are you hungry? I’m starved, let’s order pizza.”

“Sounds good,” You reply, following him to the living room. “Hey, are you sure it’s okay that I’m here?” Yoongi raises a brow. “Of course, why wouldn’t it be?”

“I mean, we’re alone…” 

Yoongi laughs. “Are you worried about the paparazzi? They can’t get up here, it’s okay. Besides, we are supposed to be dating.”

You relax a bit. In truth, you were nervous that he’d think it improper to hang out alone, especially now that you’re single again. You should have known– of course it wouldn’t be an issue, he only sees you as one of the guys. Almost to underline your insecurities, you catch a glimpse of yourself in the living room mirror: bundled up in all your layers, you look like a potato with legs. Of course. Surrounded by beautiful idols every day, it makes sense that Yoongi would barely consider you a girl. 

You blink hard, forcing yourself back into Friend Mode. 

“Well, what are you waiting for?” You race to snag the comfiest armchair, Yoongi’s favorite, for yourself. “A girl needs her pizza!”

Yoongi orders and returns to the living room, sticking his tongue out at you when he realizes where you’ve sat. “So how have you been?” he asks, stretching out on the couch.

You yawn. “Since I last saw you? Just did some Moon Over the Sea filming and the cologne shoot.”

“Oh yeah, how’d those go?”

You think of being brought to tears during filming at the thought of Yoongi being gone from your life. Of Jeongyeon commenting on how you and Yoongi would never stay together, how you’re hardly a couple at all. Of sitting on Wonho’s lap, half-clothed, your lips brushing his skin. “Fine. How about you?”

“Pretty good. Promotions went well, our Japanese fans really liked the new song. We won three awards, which is nice.”

“Wow, we stan global superstars,” you laugh, and Yoongi draws himself up. 

“No need to sound so sarcastic.”

“I’m your friend, darling. I’m literally the only one allowed to sound sarcastic. Y’all are killing it, everyone knows that.” You flop upside down, letting your legs dangle off one arm of the chair while your head rests on the other. “Hey, what were you recording just now?”

Yoongi freezes. “What? You heard it?”

“Not the whole thing, just a bit of your sixteenth or seventeenth or whateverteenth take,” you snicker. “And it was good, really good.”

“Oh, thanks.”

“Can I listen to the rest of it?”

Yoongi coughs. “Nah, I don’t think you’d like it. I don’t know if I’ll include it in the mixtape anyways; I think I was just venting into the mic.”

“Isn’t that how all the best diss tracks are made? I remember listening to Cypher 2 and just about dying during your verse.”

“It’s not really a diss track…”

You sit up. “Really? It sounded so angry.”

“Yeah, well, I was feeling angry.”

“Why?”

A knock at the door interrupts your conversation. “Oh, pizza’s here,” Yoongi says, rising. He returns a few minutes later with a large veggie pizza. The smell makes your mouth water– you didn’t realize how hungry you were. 

“Fucking yes. Ugh. Food. Yes. Give.” You reach out and take Yoongi’s offered slice, almost moaning when you take your first bite. You’ve been on edge all day– and if anxiety burned calories, you’d be on par with the Flash this week.

“No need to sound so turned on,” Yoongi laughs. “You’re worse than Seokjin hyung.”

“You’re just jealous that the pizza’s getting more action from your girlfriend than you are,” 

Yoongi coughs. “Keep talking like that and we’ll forget that this whole relationship is fake, y/n.”

“Heh, my bad.” You were just joking, but the discomfort in Yoongi’s voice… did you take it too far? Your friendship has always been dumb, and a little flirtatious, but now that you’re actually supposed to be together, it makes sense that Yoongi wants to draw a few hard lines in the sand. He’s right, things can’t get too blurry. He’s right, you’re not really dating. He’s right. 

It’s not real.

And hey, why would you even want it to be real? If you fell for Yoongi, it would be like admitting that all along, you really were just a fangirl, just another ARMY obsessed with BTS’ Suga. 

Besides, even if I did like him, you think ruefully, he probably wouldn’t believe me. It’s not like you have any trust left in the bank. Man, you’ve gotta work on being a better friend.

Speaking of… 

You look around and click your tongue. “Dammit. I was hoping to see Jimin tonight, Lisa wanted another video of him.”

“He can just send you something later.” Yoongi turns on the TV and tosses you a blanket. “Here, I know you’re cold. And hey, are you sure Lisa’s not posting those videos anywhere?”

You shake your head. “I follow her on all her socials. I definitely would’ve seen it if she had. Besides, I trust her.” Sure, she’s been a little absent these last few days, but she’s still Lisa, your best friend. Now that you think of it, her birthday is coming up– maybe you’ll arrange a video call with Jimin for her?

“Aight.” Yoongi flicks off the lights and grabs for the remote. “What do you want to watch?”

You chew on your pizza crust thoughtfully. “La La Land?”

The rapper snorts. “Really?”

“What can I say, I’m a sucker for well-spoken pianists. And fast rises to fame.”

“And here I thought you would’ve wanted a happy ending. I mean, the musician doesn’t even end up with the actress.”

“Happy endings are for suckers.” You press a hand to your forehead, dragging out your words dramatically. “You don’t understand me, Mom. Emotions aren’t real. Nothing matters, life is meaningless.”

“Oh god, you usually don’t bring out Emo Y/n until you’re at least two drinks in,” Yoongi groans good-naturedly.

You laugh, sitting back up. “Just play the damn movie, dumbass.”

The opening to Another Day of Sun starts playing, and… is it your imagination, or is Yoongi tapping along, as though it’s his hands at the keyboard?

Dork. You allow yourself a small smile in the dark room. If someone had told you, just a year ago, that you would be having movie nights with BTS’s Suga, acting alongside your ultimate idol, and– even just in character– kissing said idol, you would’ve thought they were batshit insane. 

But now… Yoongi’s so pretty, in a thousand ways you never noticed through your screen. The timber of his voice when he wakes up with a hangover, the surprised delight of a particularly good pun, the sleepy whispers during your late-night phone calls. You would never have known that when he’s stressed, he clenches his fists so tightly his nails leave crescent moons on his palms. You could only have guessed at how much he swears in real life, how when he’s recording in his studio he leaves his phone in his room to avoid distractions. 

The members are good at meshing their onstage and offstage personalities, sure. But Yoongi and Suga are like day and night to you now.

“I’m so lucky,” you murmur, as Emma Stone twirls happily in her yellow dress. 

“Where did that come from?” Yoongi asks, tossing a pillow at you. You bat at it lazily, only half watching the movie.

“It’s just pretty crazy, huh? How far we’ve come?”

“Psh, that it is. Thank goodness your shoe broke that night.”

You lift your hand to your throat, rubbing the Starry Night charm on its new chain. “Thank goodness I told you the truth eventually.” And in that moment, with the movie on and the lights low, with your belly full and nighttime settling on the city, you feel equal parts strong and vulnerable. It’s always the dark with us, isn’t it?

“Fame, flashlight– gi-give it to me!”

“Gah!” You jump and fumble for your phone. Shit. Shit. Why wasn’t it on vibrate?

Yoongi, of course, bursts out laughing. “You’re kidding me. Y/n, that’s your ringtone?”

“Shut up,” you hiss, answering the call. You don’t like picking up unknown numbers, but it could be a job offer. “Hello?”

A deep voice you don’t recognize responds. “Hello, may I speak to l/n y/n?”

“This is she.”

“My name is Detective Kang, with the Seoul Police Department. I need to interview you here at the station at your earliest convenience. Would you be able to come in tonight, or perhaps tomorrow?”

Your heart seems to pause. “Police?” You immediately think back to all of your recent actions– you definitely paid for your groceries, and the rent, and the medicine for your injured leg. Hell, you haven’t so much as jaywalked in the last week. Did you accidentally break the law somehow?

On hearing your voice, Yoongi sits up. “Y/n? Is everything okay?”

“You’re not under any suspicion, ma’am,” Detective Kang continues. “We believe you may be able to contribute to a case. This will just be an interview– you’re not legally required to come in.”

“A case? But, um, how can I help?”

“Well, I’m with the Missing Persons division, and–”

A sense of dread fills your stomach and clouds your mind at the detective’s words. Missing Persons? What?

“-We hope you may be able to provide us with some insight as to the recent disappearance of Lalisa Manoban.”

Your heart, which was pounding hard in your chest, now seems to have left your body entirely.

“Lisa’s… missing?”

#bts #bangtan #suga #yoongi #min yoongi #min suga #bts yoongi #bts suga #bts fluff #bts angst #bts drabble #bts series #bts au #yoongi fluff #yoongi angst #yoongi drabble #yoongi au #suga fluff #suga angst #suga drabble #suga au #yoongi series #fluff #angst #yoongi x reader #suga x reader #bts x reader #bts fic #yoongi fic #bts fanfiction

[leahlisabeth]

37 for andreil!! 💕

Thanks for prompting! I had a lot of fun with this one!

This also can be found on AO3!

“Why did I let you talk me into this anyway?” Andrew grumbled as he stumbled into yet another patch of muddy ground.  His feet were heavy from the mud coating the soles and he practically had to change his gait to accommodate for it.  When they started out he had scraped the mud off on the trees every time but he was no beyond fed up.

“I’ve never been camping,” Neil said.  “And Nicky couldn’t bear the thought of me missing another ‘essential growing up memory.’” 

Andrew groaned.  He was going to kill Nicky.  First, for teaching Neil about air quotes.  Second, for teaching Neil about FOMO.  Third, for ruining Andrew’s favourite boots.  “Are we almost there?”

Neil consulted the map, brow furrowed.  “I think so?  I think Nicky drew this himself and it’s not exactly to scale.”

Andrew trudged up beside Neil and snatched the map.  It was definitely hand drawn and it made almost zero sense.

“I think that’s the rock outcropping we just passed and I’ve been keeping the stream on our left.  It should be just over this hill,” Neil explained.

“If it isn’t, we’re going back.  Fuck camping!” Andrew said, pushing on ahead.

Neil caught up right away because somehow he had managed to miss the worst of the mud so he wasn’t dragging another fifty pounds on the soles of his feet.

They reached the top of the hill and saw the end of the trail.  Nicky had borrowed Matt’s truck and it was parked by a small pit and three tents were set up around the perimeter of the clearing.  Nicky was perched on a log by the fire, setting up a spit to roast the fish in the basket beside him.  Andrew marched over to his cousin and placed his hands around his neck.

“Andrew, you made...erk,” Nicky choked as his airway was almost closed off.

“Why did we have to hike in when clearly we could have driven?” Andrew asked dangerously.

Nicky wheezed. “Not enough room for everyone.  Neil’s camping experience.”

“I’ll show you camping experience,” Andrew growled.

“Andrew,” Erik’s mild voice came from the door of one of the tents.  “Can you maybe wait to kill my fiance until after I’ve married him?” 

Neil caught up and dragged Andrew away, laughing.  “It’s okay, I don’t mind.”

“I mind.” Andrew glared back at his cousin.  “I mind very much.”

Neil leaned in close.  “I’ll make it up to you later.”  Promise coloured his voice and Andrew could feel himself blushing.

“Fine,” Andrew growled.  “I won’t kill him so long as he remembered to bring stuff for s’mores.”

“What do you take me for?” Nicky asked.  “I promised Neil a classic camping experience.  I brought like five bags of marshmallows.”

Andrew nodded.  “You’ve earned yourself a stay of execution but you’re on thin fucking ice.”

“Which tent is ours?” Neil asked.

“Yours is there,” Nicky gestured to the one on the right.  “Katelyn and Aaron are on the left and Erik and I are in the center.”

“Where is Aaron, anyway?” Neil asked.

“He and Katelyn went to check out the swimming hole.  If you value your eyes, I suggest you not join them,” Erik said, coming to join them by the fire.

Neil flushed red and didn’t argue.  He didn’t say anything to Aaron when they returned, flushed and dripping wet with buttons mismatched and hair in wild tangles.

Supper was okay.  Erik had caught plenty of fish for all of them and Nicky was surprisingly good at preparing them over the campfire.  They were crisp on the outside but melted on the tongue.  He’d also wrapped some potatoes in foil and baked them over the coals.  

The sun was going down, turning the sky to pink and orange flame and Nicky rummaged around in the bed of the truck, coming out with a couple grocery bags full of marshmallows, chocolate, and graham crackers.

Aaron showed Neil how to find a good straight green stick and peel off all the bark.  Andrew watched too.  He had only had s’mores once, when Cass and Richard had taken him camping for Labor Day weekend.  They had their own metal sticks for roasting and he had never had to find his own.  It had been a good weekend, one of the last before Drake had started coming home to visit.

The first marshmallow he roasted burst into flame.  He managed to blow it out before it got completely charred.  The sticky sweetness was a little bitter from the burnt sugar and the inside was still solid because it had cooked too fast but it was still delicious with the warm chocolate and the graham cracker.

Neil tried one.  He managed about half before he fed the rest of it to Andrew.  Andrew’s next marshmallow was more even and he was sudden;y grateful for a boyfriend who didn’t enjoy sweets because even though Neil was not interested in eating more s’mores, he was thrilled by the challenge of roasting a perfect golden brown marshmallow and Andrew could stuff himself with his own and with Neil’s.

After a while, long before all the marshmallows were gone, Andrew sat back and tossed his stick into the fire.  His stomach was heavy and full, lips still sticky from marshmallow.  Neil copied him and leaned back, a solid weight at his side.  Andrew turned his head to look over at Neil.  Neil’s expression was soft and he carefully leaned forward and kissed him.

“Mmm, tastes better that way,” Neil grinned cheekily.

Nicky squealed from across the fire and Neil jumped away.

Andrew glared at Nicky, who had to grace to look sorry.

“Let’s tell ghost stories!” Nicky said, rubbing his hands together gleefully.

A chorus of groans sounded around the campfire.

“Nicky, why?” Aaron asked.

“Neil? Have you ever heard ghost stories around a campfire?” Nicky asked.

“Uh...no…” Neil said slowly.

“Well there you have it.  Authenticity is key.” Nicky stood and dug through his bag for the flashlight.  “I’ll go first.”

Neil settled back in at Andrew’s side now that the attention was off of him once more.

“It happened in a place much like this.  The forest was old and dark, full of forgotten spaces.  A little girl lived on the edge of the forest in a tiny house with her mother and father and big sister.  The older girl despised her younger sister.  She had been happy before she came along to steal her parents love.

“One night, the little girl was sleeping soundly when her older sister came in and carried her away.  She carried her for hours until the last light from nearby towns disappeared from the sky and the last sound from any road faded into the distance and no path but her own footsteps marred the ground beneath her feet.  She laid her sister at the foot of an old oak tree and silently slipped away, covering her trail behind her.

“When the little girl woke, she was alone.  There was no sound but the birds and the whispering of wind through the trees.  There was no light but the stars.  She tried to find her way home but she was too far away and she kept going around in circles until she wound up back at the beginning at the foot of the old oak tree.

“She sat down and wept and the cold stole her breath and time stole her life and no one came looking here for this one little lost girl.

“The spirit of the oak tree took pity on her.  He grew a blanket of moss to cover her.  He sent out tendrils from his roots to wind around her limbs and make her dance in the light of the moon.  He whispered to her trapped soul and fanned the flames of her anger until they burned bright and all she dreamed of was revenge on her big sister who had wronged her.

“The story would end here if her sister were smart enough to stay away.  But she crept back the next summer to see the place her little sister lay but she did not find a body, she found a little girl dressed in green, leaves through her hair, and an unnatural light burning in her eyes, dancing in the moonlight.

“Sister,” the little girl cried.  “You’ve returned to dance with me!”

“The big sister turned to run but it was too late.  The little girl ran after her and wound her arms around her, hugging her tight and forcing the breath from her body.  The oak tree clothed her too after her death and now both of them dance on nights the moon is full.   They will not bother you unless they sense that you have been cruel to your own flesh and blood, like not listening to his great ideas or having a bad attitude when he tries to do something nice.  If they look into your heart and see your cruelty, they’ll bind you too and turn you into a puppet…”

“What the fuck, Nicky?” Aaron interrupted.  

“Cruelty includes interrupting your cousin’s ghost story,” Nicky said primly.

Andrew scooped up a few pine cones from the ground and began tossing them into Nicky’s hair.  Neil giggled breathlessly at his side.

“I don’t know why I even bother,” Nicky muttered.

“Is that supposed to be fun?” Neil asked.

Nicky threw up his hands and dragged Erik to his feet.  “Come, my love, we’re going to take a walk in the moonlight.  Leave these assholes to stew in their bad attitudes.”

Erik wrapped his arms around Nicky from behind and whispered in his ear.  Nicky giggled and willingly led the way into the dark.

Aaron rolled his eyes and he and Katelyn went into their tent.  Andrew could hear them talking and laughing in low tones but he couldn’t hear what was being said.

He and Neil were left alone to sit by the fire.

“What do you think of camping?” Andrew finally asked.

“Some of it’s nice,” Neil said.  “I like having a fire and the food was good.  The few times I’ve slept outside, we were staying in the car and we didn’t dare light a fire to give away our position.  It was old gas station snacks and dressing in every piece of clothing we owned and still shivering until we could get back on the road.”

“Your life is a fucking tragedy,” Andrew said, rubbing his hand carefully up and down Neil’s side.

Neil grinned at him wickedly.  “But I’m not so sure about this whole ghost thing.  I’m so scared.  Hold me.”

Andrew found himself suddenly holding a lapful of warm and willing Neil.  “Ghosts aren’t real, for God’s sake!”  But he tightened his arms around Neil anyway.

“I’m glad I have a big strong man to protect me,” Neil said, leaning close.

Andrew could see exactly what Neil wanted and he wanted it too.  He caught Neil’s mouth in a deep kiss.  Maybe camping wasn’t so bad after all.

“Stop your gross flirting!” Aaron shouted from his tent, breaking up their kiss.  “I can hear every word.”

Neil laughed and instead of returning to the hot and searing kiss, he lay his head on Andrew’s shoulders.  They both watched the stars.

#i wrote this #andreil #aftg #camping trip #crochan #prompt fic

[sexyshakespeare]

Sasuke comes home - Part 3: You’re special to me

“Man, that cockroach was huge..”, I muttered to myself. It was the third of the day. This kitchen sure was filthy. I had managed to clean out the cabinets under the sink and the sink itself. The stove was wiped down with soap and dried.The fridge needed some serious sponging. Thankfully, I had cleaning supplies in the closet. I was a very proper, clean kid once upon a time. Living in an underground cave and on the road for the rest of my life had shot a bullet through that side of me. I had temporarily started to live like a dirty vagabond because, a dirty vagabond I was.  But now, it was time to revel in wiping down refrigerator gunk. That’s depressing. I sighed woefully as I removed the shelves from the fridge and scrubbed them down with soap water. The whole process must have taken at least an hour to do. Should I have just gone and bought another fridge..  I observed my work of art, a little smirk showing on my lips. With a sense of finality, I reached over and turned on the power to the fridge. I had had the good sense to check the power first of course, and as expected, it hummed to life.  After a quick mop and wipe of the counters, I was ready to hit the market for groceries. I quickly washed up and headed to the village produce market.   Everywhere around me I saw supermarkets and convenience stores. There were a few obasan selling vegetables off to the side, but too few in comparison. I went into one supermarket, feeling strange.  I, Uchiha Sasuke was wheeling a trolley down the vegetables aisle looking for carrots. I felt several pairs of eyes on me as I picked out tomatoes. I got myself some potatoes while another lady busily picked some out too. She handed me a larger potato that she didn’t need in exchange for two small ones from my basket. It calmed me, this simple act, I don’t really know why.  When I was done with vegetables, I went to get myself some condiments and spices. Shoyu was a must, as was sweet vinegar. A little boy came running into the aisle. We both stood side by side looking at all the different spices in little bottles. We both looked on with awe. As he reached for the chilli, I picked it up and handed it to him. “Arigato Sasuke san!”, he yelled cheerfully and ran back the way he had come.  Does everybody know who I am? I got conscious suddenly and readjusted my bangs, making sure to cover up that weird eye. Well, my other eye was weird too put apparently not as weird. I really really really don’t want a kid coming up to me asking to see my Sharingan. I groaned slightly at the possibility and suddenly wished I had just asked one of Kakashi’s chunins to do the shopping. 

I wheeled my cart towards the cashier as fast as I could. As the young woman billed me she said, “Do you cook Sasuke-san?”, beaming at me as she did. I muttered quietly in the affirmative, pretending to be busy picking out the change from my wallet. I grabbed my bags and headed back towards my shitty little flat.  It was about 6 pm on a Saturday. The Saturday that Sakura would be coming over. And bringing things for the apartment. And having dinner with me. And..  My eyes widened with panic. She’s coming to my home. This was very poorly planned. What would we talk about. What happens after dinner, do I just ask her to leave? Will she leave on her own? Dinner guests tended to leave on their own, right? I couldn’t bear to ask her to leave. What if we just talked all night and she fell asleep here. How much would we even talk, that’s not possible. 

I started to wash and cut the vegetables. I had bought some duck as well at the poultry shop next door. I set about cutting off its head and draining the blood from the body. Before I went ahead, I put on an apron I had bought. Unfortunately, they didn’t have any other kinds of aprons at the combini. I felt like an idiot, but it didn’t matter right now. Kiss the shinobi cook would have to do. 

Ridiculous. Itachi used to make duck roast for us when our parents were away. It would take him exactly 3 hours during which he’d get all the sides done. I smiled at the fond memories flooding my mind. I left the skin on the potatoes and cut them the way he’d taught me to. I remembered cutting my pinky finger once while doing this chore. 

Niisan, make chocolate pudding now. Itte ittee. You have to make it now cause it’s my favourite. 

Sasuke! Did you cut yourself just so I’d make that. Seriously, you’re such a- 

Niiiisaaaaaan- 

With a large grin on my face, I started on the sauce. The cut vegetables were boiling. I put in shoyu, chilli powder and vinegar and let it simmer. The duck needed to be cut up, washed and basted. After about half an hour had passed, I put the readied duck breast and legs in the oven. I’d add in the vegetables after about an hour. While the duck cooked, I put some rice in the little steamer I had borrowed from Hinata. I’d fry it up with some ginger to flavour it, to go with the duck.  The clock showed 8 pm before long. The last leg of the preparations was in motion. The duck was sitting with its vegetables, the fatty juices bubbling and bathing them. I took out the duck pieces and put them in the fry pan to glaze with the now cooled sauce. The smells in the kitchen were making me mad with hunger. I contemplated eating a leg or two, nothing she would notice- but then settled for some cola from the fridge. 

At 8:45 pm, the duck, rice and miso soup were ready, sitting on the kitchen counter. I wiped down and brought out plates and chopsticks for us. Carefully, I set the plates down on the little table, the glasses for water, the chopsticks. I even bought napkins for us, the nice smooth velvety kind. I arranged the duck and rice on the table, leaving a bowl of miso each on either side. For a minute or two, I kept fidgeting with the duck breast, aligning it one way or the other. Taking a sharp breath in, I saw the time was 9:05 PM. As I stared at that dusty grey, rectangular clock on the wall I suddenly realized that I had forgotten dessert. Kussoo. I looked up at the ceiling in despair, wishing I had made that chocolate pudding. I would have loved to eat it after this tiring day.  Then I heard a knock on the door. My head snapped in its direction and I immediately walked towards it. Taking a deep breath, I wondered if I should open it with a smile, or if I ought to say something the second I opened it. There you are! or I hope you like duck! No, that would be stupid. Just open the fucking door.  I quietly opened the front door and saw an anxious faced Sakura standing before me. Her hair was put up in a little bun, little chunks of her hair fanning around it, loose strands falling to her neck. Her neck. She was wearing a dress, no sleeves. Her neck was very visible right now.  “Sasuke-kun?”

The color of her dress matched her eyes well, I thought. It was a jade green, her dress. Her neckline went lower than I’ve ever seen. 

“Sasuke-kun.. can I come in..?”  I suddenly snapped out of it and realized that I hadn’t said a word to her for a while now. I now noticed that she had bags on the floor next to her, with little frames and things sticking out. “OH- yeah. Sorry. Come in..”, I managed to say. She started to pick up her things, and I helped her. 

We carried the bags to the couch. “What’s all this?”, I asked her curiously. She beamed at me. “Why they’re for your apartment of course! You asked me to brighten up the place.. right?” 

I started to take out the things from their bags, smiling at them, when in fact I was smiling because she had remembered. Sakura looked embarrassed as I pulled out framed photos of cat after cat, all cartoons or paintings. “Um- it’s a sort of neko overload- sorry”, she said. I started smiling wider as I pulled out a shuriken shape. “Is this for the wall? To hang?”  She nodded gleefully. “I mean. We could have just hung up an old shuriken of yours, but I figured you’d rather use that in actual battle than put it on a wall...”, she explained in a quick breath. 

I found a bundle of cloth in one of the bags that I unfolded. “Oh- perfect. I needed curtains.” 

“You like them? I’m sorry, all they had were Sakura prints-”

I looked at her and smiled. “Red and black are some of my favourite colours-” I stood up and put the curtain against the window to show her. The little sakura flowers were red on a black background. She smiled at my reaction and pointed at the rest of the stuff, starting to apologize again. 

“I really love them. Thank you for getting them for me. The cats are- great. Really..”, I chuckled and tapped the cartoon of a chubby calico. She laughed too.  Then her gaze went to the table with the food on it. Her eyes swallowed in every detail it seemed, which made me nervous. She stood up slowly and turned to me. “You made all of that.. for tonight?”  I felt my cheeks burning and looked away from her eyes, “Yeah.. I hope it tastes good-” She was looking straight at me now. I couldn’t help but make eye contact. Her eyes sparkled as they trailed from my face to my chest. I felt extremely conscious all of a sudden, and also like my chest was ugly for some reason.  She was struggling not to laugh, but a little giggle escaped her pink lips anyway. “That’s a cute apron..”  I stared at her for a second or two, slowly processing what she was referring to. Her lips pulled in different directions as she bit them, to stop the laughter. Then it dawned on me. I quickly put my hands on my chest and scrunched up the cloth to hide it, blushing severely as I did. I started to remove the apron and tried my best to sound dignified, “The stupid shop didn’t have normal aprons so I had to take this silly fucking thing.”  “NO it’s-it’s really cute. Just.. doesn’t go with-you..”, Sakura giggled some more, some strands of hair falling over her face as she shook with laughter. I looked at her, wanting to touch her hair again, smiling at her laughing. There wasn’t a purer sound in the world than that.  “The food will get cold. Let’s eat.”, I said and pulled out a chair for her. I sat opposite her. “Itadakimasu”, we both said in unison and started on our soup. I served her some of the duck and rice with it. “OISHII! SASUKE-KUN! YOU COOK LIKE THIS? WHY HAVEN’T YOU EVER TOLD ME!”  I looked at her, surprised at her reaction. She tended to be loud. “Uh-Yeah I guess. I really haven’t cooked a lot in my life..”, I shrugged it off, not wanting to talk about myself too much. It was strange to be under the spotlight, even if it was a small spotlight between two people at dinner.  “It’s so good, I want to die!”, she said with her mouth full of rice. A grain or two fell out of her mouth and she patted at it with the napkin, looking embarrassed. That made me smile a little too much. She must have thought I was laughing at her. I really hope she didn’t think that.  As we ate our meal, I was panicking slightly. I didn’t know what to talk about. Small dinner banter was really not my thing. I looked up at her from time to time to gauge her mood. She seemed to be in a pleasant mood, but I couldn’t read anything else. She also looked up at me from time to time and smiled. All the things I ought to be saying and all the things I could be saying were flashing through my mind. Instead my eyes strayed to her neckline again. 

In an instant, Sakura’s napkin fell off the side of the table. I was about to pick it up when she stopped me and proceeded to do so herself. That’s when I saw her leg come out of a slit in her dress. I could not for the life of me pull my eyes away. Oh God, you’re being creepy. At least say something while you check her out. Don’t just stare.  I really could not be bothered to come up with something to say at the moment. I could barely manage to chew my food straight. Sakura straightened up and continued to eat. She looked so beautiful in that dress and I hadn’t even worn a nice shirt for the occasion. 

She really did look beautiful. It was a strange feeling, to notice that in a woman. I had noticed it about her before, but this was different. This was very pointedly about her appearance. 

My thoughts went back to when Karin used to dress provocatively around me. That couldn’t have just been coincidence like I had imagined then. She had made some advances too. But it hadn’t fazed me in the least. It was so strange, the difference- how I had felt nothing biting into that woman’s neck, and how I felt just looking at Sakura’s neck right now.  I felt so horrible for looking so much, she had no idea even. It was plain wrong. I forced myself to stare at my empty plate instead. She’s an attractive woman. Sure. She knows that. We all know that in Konoha. You just noticed. That’s nothing to be announced.  I looked away from the table, to one bag that we hadn’t opened. And then I remembered something to say, though I said it unhappily. “I forgot to make dessert-” My voice resounded in a disappointed way.  “Oh I’m so glad! I brought us some flavoured mochi.”, she smiled at me. “It’s my favourite kind, strawberry. I wanted you to try some, my mom makes them.”  I stood up and started to clear her plate. “Sakura isn’t your favourite flavour?”, I smiled back at her. She made a face, “No- sakura mochi is just weird.” She began to help with the dishes. We put them in the sink one by one.  “Well- I like how sakura tastes”, I said unwittingly. Sakura started to go red standing next to me. I don’t think I go red when I’m flustered, but I started to sweat. 

Why are you such a goof. Change the fucking subject, NOW. 

My eyes moved to the unopened paper bag sitting on the couch once again. “What’s in that? Something else for the house?” She looked relieved that I had broken the tension. “The mochi is in there- oh and a little present for you.”  I looked at her perplexed. “Wasn’t all of that enough of a present-”, I laughed.  When we were done with the dishes, we sat on the couch and she brought out the home-made mochi for us. She also pulled out a bottle of sake with a pink ribbon tied around the neck. “Thought you might like this. It’s a nice flavour..”, she placed the bottle on the table.  I chewed on the sticky mochi with delight. It was yummy stuff. “It’s really nice Sakura.” Her legs poked out from the slits in her dress slightly, taking up a large chunk of my attention span. They seemed to be looming up at me. I quietly ate my mochi, trying not to look too hard. 

She adjusted herself a bit to hide them. I felt like screaming. I made her conscious about it because I was staring. What is wrong with me. I’ve seen women before. Why am I behaving like a 13 year old.  The tension between us was very palpable now. She was clearly uncomfortable, probably regretting the whole thing already. I eyed the sake and immediately said, “Why don’t we open that now- that’s a good idea.”  Sakura protested politely, “You don’t have to Sasuke-kun. It’s for you-” I grabbed the bottle and went to find glasses for us. “When am I going to drink something alone anyway..” I found glasses, and washed them a bit, before bringing them to her.  “Well okay. If you’re sure.. I’ll have some-”, she gave in a little too fast. I looked at her suspiciously. “Don’t tell me you drink like Tsunade does now..”, I teased her. She rushed to defend herself, “NO- she doesn’t drink all that much anymore. She’s treated me now and then after a hard week of work that’s all!” I laughed a little and poured for us. “You don’t have to explain all that to me- I’m not judging.”, I clinked my glass with her’s and drained it down my throat in one go. She blinked at me in surprise. “Sasuke-kun, when did you start drinking like that?” I poured some more for myself, thinking back to the days travelling in Hebi. I was so sour all the time, I found that downing a few glasses of sake would help with my mood. I’d stop with that much, cause it was just enough for me to not snap at everyone around me, but not too much that I’d let Karin snuggle up to me and not move.  I downed another glass. “Ah it’s just for the nerves.”  “Why are you nervous?”, she sipped at her glass. She was clearly holding herself back, I could tell. 

I sat very still for some time, thinking about what I could say next. As I sipped my third little glass of sake, I looked at her. “You really drink that slowly? Or are you just trying to be appropriate. Wait-am I being inappropriate? Drinking with you like this?”, the questions kept piling up in my head and I kept vomiting them out with abandon.  She smiled at me slowly. “Well Sasuke-kun, I happen to know that this sake is stronger than the kind I usually take. It’s a special variety.”  I thought back to the sake I used to drink. It was some awful cheap kind that we found in little stores on our travels. It didn’t taste half as good as this did.  “OH-OH I see..”, I exclaimed. I considered being quiet for the rest of the night, but it just didn’t seem to work, my plan.  She sipped some more and crossed one leg over the other. She looked very strong and poised at the moment, leaning back. I turned on my side to face her. My head resting on my hand, I looked at her. 

She began to speak,“Thank you for making this meal for us. You really didn’t have to.. You could’ve ordered in or even made cup ramen for us-”  ”Hey-Hey, I’d never make fucking cup ramen for you the first time you came over...”, I frowned at her, my eyes narrowing. I started to laugh. “I’d make cup ramen for that doggy guy- Kiba or someone if they suddenly came over one night-” She started smiling and biting her lip.  ”Sakura- you’re special. I’d only ever cook a proper meal for you if you came over”, I said to her face. Her eyes fixed on mine, her lips parted slightly. I felt very conscious suddenly and tried to make light of what I had said. “You know that! You’re- you’re a member of team Kakashi- we’ve gone through so much together...” My voice trailed off and my eyes struggled to find a place to rest that wasn’t her eyes or her neck. Her hair seemed to suffice for now. I looked at her hair, the little jade stone comb she had fixed in place, the etching of a flower on the stone...  ”Sasuke-kun...”  A thought occurred to me, a rather scary thought. Before I could process it, I decided to tell her because it was worth sharing. It really was a scary thought. I looked at her alarmed, “I mean, Naruto is a part of team Kakashi too but I don’t mean him. I mean he’s special and all that but that’s not what I meant-”  ”Sasuke-kun!”, Sakura raised her voice a little. My mind snapped to attention. Seeing that, she smiled widely. Then her smile faded until just a little smirk remained on her pink lips. Her eyes lowered as she said, “I’d really love that... you cooking for me, the way you did tonight-”  That look on her face was driving me crazy. I felt like I’d cook every single meal in the day for her just to have her look like that when she talks about it. I’d pack her a bento when she went to the hospital, and she’d look like that when she opens it.  I gulped slowly, the sound of my heart was filling the room. Please don’t hear this. I sipped some more of the sake, trying to calm down. I felt foolish. I was praying she brings up a topic, something we could talk about it and not just have extreme blushy reactions to.  “Where did you even learn to cook so well?”, she asked excitedly. I smiled at her and looked up at the ceiling to remember. “Ah I’ve learnt since I was 5 probably-” I looked back at her face and continued. “Itachi used to cook for us as kids. He was so good at all of this, he was a freaking genius!”, I smiled really wide, my teeth showing. I tried to hide them by pursing my lips, but my eyes glimmered with the memories of a past life. “He would make excuses to our parents, say that he used up all his pocket money- and get more to buy expensive ingredients. Then when they were out, he’d try new recipes and have me taste them.”  I put my legs up on the couch and hugged them to my chest, my eyes glazing over. “He made me the best chocolate pudding ever, every time I’d fall or scrape a knee-” Sakura moved closer to me, and put her legs up on the couch too. I looked at her, she had her chin in her hands, her hands resting on her knees. “EHH really? That’s amazing. What a great niisan-”, she said, her eyes sparkling.  She totally knew I was drunk now. But she didn’t seem to notice. She didn’t care. Sakura just listened to me with her beautiful green eyes pouring over my face, her pink hair bobbing around every time she laughed, her lips always stretching into a smile at just the right moments.  I stopped thinking about what I was saying now. I just talked and talked and talked. I felt like I was 6 years old. “Niisan used to lie to me, saying that he’d teach me the shuriken- but he never did. He just lied to me all the time-”, I said frowning slightly, taking another swig of the sake.  Sakura took the bottle from me and took a small swig too. Her speech was slurring slightly. “Awww- little Sasuke-kun must have annoyed him wanting shuriken practice all the time! You can’t blame him!”  I turned to her feeling indignant. “Well- I didn’t need him. I learnt on my own-” She laughed loudly at me and put her hands on my lap, “Gomen! Gomen! I didn’t mean it like that- awww look at your face-”  I didn’t know what she was talking about. I felt like I ought to be annoyed with her, stop this game right now.  But I couldn’t. I could not stop wanting to play this game where she laughed at me and her giggling was uncontrolled. Her hair was almost all out of her bun now, strands of pink getting in her eyes.  She kept struggling to take the hair out of her eyes, and then going back to laughing. I leaned forward a bit and carefully parted her hair, removing it from her eyes, tucking it behind her ear. 

Sakura stopped laughing. She gulped visibly, and stared at my face like a cornered animal would its hunter. “What-”, I whispered. “I’m not going to eat you-”, I whispered again. She smiled and then chuckled. “Oh- I know that-”  I was very close to her now, her smell strong and intoxicating. I went a little quiet now, trying to gather my thoughts. I felt like it had to be said. I touched her face with my fingers lightly, trailing away. “Thank you for coming tonight..”, I said slowly. I frowned slightly, the memory of bad times filling my head, “I haven’t laughed like this since my parents died...”  She looked at me carefully, seriously. She took my hand and squeezed it with both of hers. Her eyes looked sad, as she nodded slightly at me in understanding. “I want nothing more than to do this for you, any time you want..”, she said to me.  I really wanted to lean in to her lips. I really wanted to hold her face in my hands and part her lips with mine... smell her...bite her. My eyes widened a little, I took a sharp breath, trying to knock out that thought from my head. I can’t bite her- get it together man. I pulled away slightly, ashamed. She seemed to come out of her dream-like state too. She was conscious of her bare legs uncovered now from the slits in her dress. I can’t believe I had actually missed that before. Well, they had my full attention now, and it was uncomfortable to say the least. 

I cleared my throat, and looked at the time. It was half past 2 am. She followed my lead and exclaimed in alarm, “OH MY- is that really the time? It is late- we should head to bed Sasuke-kun...”  I exhaled slowly as we made awkward eye contact. “I mean- my bed- our beds- our s-separate beds-”, she sputtered. I interrupted her, her panic infecting me as well, “Yeah- of course- you’ll be fine getting home? You won’t get lost or anything? It’s dark and you’re- inebriated...”  “Yeah- I’ll be fine. And besides, you’re inebriated too, probably more than I am-” , she giggled at me again. I was starting to absolutely love that giggle. I shrugged, “You know what you’re doing. Sakura-senpai, I have a lot to learn from you-” That little quip made her blush, as expected. I smirked a little at my sly manipulative skills. 

She stood up with me and instantly toppled onto me. I lifted her up, being careful not to let my hands or my eyes linger. I felt awful for enjoying that clumsy exchange as much as I did. She had no idea...  Sakura took the comb out of her hair. Her shoulder-length pink hair, though wild and pretty was now covering up her neck. I was saddened. She made her way to the front door, turned around and beamed. “Oyasuminasai Sasuke-kun!”, she shouted. I cringed and shushed her. “Oyasuminasai Sasuke-kun!”,she repeated but in a forceful whisper now. I chuckled at her and returned the phrase, “Oyasumi.” 

She tiptoed down the stairs of the quiet building and out on to the street. I watched her walk pretty straight for most of the way, till I could not see her anymore. Then, I went inside and threw myself on my bed.  I didn’t want to think about what this night would mean tomorrow. I just knew that I still really wanted to kiss her, really hard. I smiled to myself. How had she known exactly what to say.. My head was filled with images of her laughing as I fell asleep. 

#naruto #narutofandom #narutofan #sasukefan #sasukefandom #sasusaku #sakurafan #sakurafnadom #sasukefanfiction #sasukesakura #uchihasasuke #sasuke-kun #sakura #harunosakura #romantic #romancefic #smut #sasukesmut #sakurasmut #classysmut

[itsthesinbin]

Don’t Deserve You (Underfell!Sans/Emma[OC])

This is for @thekraziesreside​! Thanks for ordering a slot from me, my dude! Hope you enjoy it!

The day started out nice. Papyrus only minorly yelled when Sans didn’t get up on time, Emma managed to make breakfast to give herself a break from the Endless Burning that is Papyrus’ food, and she actually felt good about herself when she woke up. She got her hair looking right, found a cute outfit, and felt fantastic on her way to the store.

What she overheard at the store was what put her in a sour mood.

It wasn’t even directed at her. She just happened to hear someone’s private conversation. Fears and insecurities amongst partners. Em knew monsters had a hard time with emotion, after being trapped in the world they were for so long. Hearing the two talk about their insecurities out in the open both lifted her heart, and made her stomach drop.

She shouldn’t make everything about herself, and that thought made her mood drop even more. Even as ambassador to the monsters, she felt like she’s done nothing with her time. Even in a loving relationship, she felt as if she’s alone.

Seeing her reflection in a passing window left an empty feeling in her chest as darker thoughts swirled around her head.

Thankfully, she managed to sneak into the house without anyone noticing. She could hear Sans in his room. She didn’t know WHAT he was doing, but he was yelling at something. From the way he was yelling, it was at a video game.

“MOVE, YA FUCKIN- ASS-” Yeah, probably. Or a movie. Em snorted softly, shaking her head. She went to put the items she bought away, not realizing the yelling had stopped and slippered footsteps approached the kitchen.

“There you are”. She jumped, turning to face him. His grin turned nervous for a second, before slipping back into his usual smirk. He snickered slightly, leaning on the counter.

“You went shopping? Didn’t ask me to come along?” Em hesitated, before going back to putting up the groceries.

“You were taking a nap. I didn’t wanna bother you,” she said, trying to keep the upset lilt out of her voice. Red either didn’t pick up on it at all, or was ignoring the way she didn’t look at him. He grunted slightly.

“You know you could’a woken me up”. She shrugged, putting the bags away to be used another time. She moved past him, intending on dissociating on the couch for a hot minute.

“Just didn’t wanna bother you,” she said again, quieter this time. She could feel his eyelights on her back, following her to the living room. She heard him grab something from the fridge- probably his leftovers from Grillby’s- before coming to the couch with her. He handed her a small container of fries, while he held the burger. Propping his feet up on the coffee table- something the Terrible Papyrus would scream at him for- he leaned back against the back of the couch. Sans held out an arm towards her, smug grin on his face.

Emma smiled slightly, scooting closer and leaning against his ribcage. He wrapped the arm around her, a subtle purring coming from him.

The two sat quietly, watching some movie he put on netflix. Emma wasn’t paying attention to it, however. Her mind still wandered to her insecurities. She wanted to bring them up with Sans, but… he was never good at bringing up his OWN issues. She doubts he wants to put up with her own.

God, she’s a mess.

“Hey, you okay?” She looked up at him. His strained grin vanished completely. Reaching up, he wiped at her cheeks. When had she started crying?

“Babe?” “... I’m not good enough for you”. The sudden statement startled him. He didn’t stop her from moving away, watching her rub at her eyes in frustration. Sans put his food down, holding his hands out but… not quite knowing what to do with them.

“I’m a mess, Sans. I’m worthless, I don’t know how to handle it- and I didn’t want to dump this on you because I know you have your own problems-” she took a shuddering breath- “but here I go anyway because I can’t stop making things about my stupid ass-”. Sans finally got a hold of himself, putting his hands on her shoulders. She looked at the red skeleton, who took a breath as if to say something.

He let it out, opening his mouth, before closing it again. He grumbled to himself, before looking at her again.

“You’re good enough,” he got out, immediately turning red from how stupid he thought it sounded. “We all got our problems, sweetheart. Ain’t that what being together is- dealing with your own shit with, uh… with someone else?” He let go of her shoulders, running a hand over his face.

“You think you’re a mess? At least that dumb shit didn’t just come outta your mouth.” Emma couldn’t help but snort slightly. Sans smiled slightly.

“Snot a good feeling, huh?” She barked out a laugh, making his grin widen.

“How about I tear you a new way to look at yourself”. “Okay, that one was a stretch,” she laughed, tensing slightly as his arm went around her waist. He shrugged.

“Got a laugh outta you, though,” he said, pulling her head down to kiss her. It was always a bit awkward, as his fangs poked at her lips, but it was always nice.

“Just for a little bit,” he started, pulling back to nip at her neck. “Forget about the bullshit. Don’t think about it”.

She hummed softly, wrapping her arms around his shoulders.

“I think… I can be persuaded to do that,” she finally agreed, making him grin against her neck. He bit down harder, making her jerk slightly. One of his hands dug into her short hair, pulling her head back carefully. The other slid up her shirt, pushing it up to her chest. She froze as her bra and chest were exposed, but he growled slightly.

Right… don’t think about it. Instead, she focused on Sans. Her hands trailed down as he unhooked her bra. When it was off, along with her shirt, she put her hands into his own clothes. She snaked her fingers along his ribs, making him groan softly.

“You look so good, babe,” he purred, dragging his tongue along her chest. She shuddered, gripping his ribs and making him twitch.

“Don’t know how I went this long without you”. Emma felt her face flush, looking off to the side as he shimmied her pants down.

“Sans- slow down-.” “Sorry, sweetheart, you just drive me crazy.” He did stop with the pants, though. He went back to her torso, trailing his digits along her stomach and toying with her breasts.

She shifted under the attention, pushing his jacket off of his shoulders. She pulled him up slightly, kissing along the vertebrae of his neck. He shivered, growling softly in appreciation. The taste of bone was always odd, to say the least. Emma definitely got used to it, though. She doesn’t know if she could go back to humans, honestly. It’d be too weird.

He scratched down her sides, pulling her out of those thoughts. Sans dug his hands into her pants again, looking at her for permission this time. She nodded, lifting her hips for him. A grin spread across his cheekbones, and he pulled them down- underwear and all.

His sweater was the next thing to follow, displaying his ribs in a rare scene of vulnerability. Emma felt her face flush. He’s admitted before he’d hated stripping in front of his past partners. With her, though, he feels safe enough to do so.

Kinda stupid, he had laughed, cause you’re a human. Never supposed to feel safe around one of you. She always tells him that she loves the sight of him. Right now was no different.

“You look so good, Sans.” The red she loved spread across his cheeks. He rolled his eyelights, grabbing and rubbing her hips. As usual, when he was complimented, he avoided looking her in the eye.

“Ain’t about me,” he grumbled, flustered. She snickered slightly, before yelping as she was pushed onto her back.

“Hello-” “Stay there for a minute, huh?” He moved down, grin growing hungry as he grabbed her thighs and pushed them apart. Despite his wish to “stay there”, Emma sat up on her elbows.

Spreading her open, his tongue dragged along her slit and clit. She’d be lying if she said she wasn’t already wet and sensitive, so just that action alone made her hips twitch and a small gasp leave her. He grinned up at her, eye flashing a brilliant red.

His fingers dug into the meat of her thighs, and his attention focused on her clit. The magic of his tongue left a pleasant buzz along her skin, making her squirm and groan. One hand left her thigh, moving to prod her entrance. Magic enveloped the digits, making them smooth enough to enter without rubbing her skin raw.

She arched her hips, moaning from the feeling of the magic on her clit and in her pussy. She put a hand on his skull, the other gripping the couch to ground herself.

Sans looked up at her, grinning as he lazily licked her clit. The action completely opposite of his fast-moving fingers. They drilled into her relentlessly, over stimulating her in the best way. She whined loudly, twitching around his fingers.

“Sans-” He purred, adding to the buzzing on her clit. Embarrassingly, she already felt herself getting close to an orgasm. She bucked her hips, panting and throwing her head back. He didn’t slow down, even though he knew the signs.

She came around his fingers, grinding against his tongue and dropping back against the couch again. He slowed down, helping her ride it out as she caught her breath.

:”Fuck,” she mumbled, running a hand through her hair. Sans sat up, licking his magic-and-slick coated fingers clean. Emma felt her cheeks heat up, barely having any time to react as he pushed his pants down enough to expose his hips. His dick on display, he looked down at her with a lazy smile.

“Up for round two?” A little dazed, she nodded anyway. He growled appreciatively, pulling her closer by her thighs. He ground his dick against her, making her rock her hips back against him.

Slowly, he pushed into her, allowing her to adjust along the way. He rubbed her clit slowly with his thumb, making her whimper softly and spread her legs more.

“Please, Sans-” “Shh, babydoll, I’ll take care of ya.” He slid in and out of her lazily, rubbing circles into her sensitive clit. She reached down to grab his wrist, taking a shuddering breath.

“Stars, you’re gorgeous,” he groaned, beginning to speed up. He held one of her legs with his free hand, pulling her as close as possible. She dropped her head back against the couch, moaning softly.

“You think you don’t deserve me? It’s the other way around, sweetheart,” he grunted. “Humans don’t deserve you. I don’t deserve you. You’re such a great woman, Em.” Emma groaned, rocking her hips against him.

“Fuck, I love you,” he moaned, starting to drill into her. She moaned loudly, arching her back. She already felt herself approaching orgasm number two. Her thighs tensed around his hips, and she looked up at him.

“Sans- I’m-.” “Go ahead, babe. Well… she didn’t need to be told twice.

She tensed up, whining loudly as her sensitive body reached her second orgasm. Sans growled, not slowing down in his thrusts. He grabbed her hips with both hands now, keeping her in place as he pounded into her.

She let out a tired moan, over sensitive body forced to endure until he, finally, came inside of her.

He snarled, finally slowing down as he emptied himself into her. The magic buzzed warmly inside of her, making her sigh. When he pulled out, his dick vanished. He flopped onto his ass, catching his breath as he sat down.

Slowly, she sat up, only to be lifted up by his magic and dropped into his lap. He grinned, sweat trailing down his skull from the excessive use of magic- and energy.

“Hope that helped a little,” he joked, wrapping his arms around her. Emma rolled her eyes slightly, leaning against his shoulder.

“I might need a little more convincing.” He paused.

“God, please don’t make me go again. I’m so tired.” Emma snorted, laughing at how distressed he sounded. Sans huffed, shaking his skull.

“Alright, alright, I’ll go easy on you,” she snickered, kissing his cheek. His cheeks flushed, and he patted her back with a grin.

“Thank the stars someone does.” He knew Papyrus would yell at him, later, for fucking in the living room.

Eh… he could deal with it.

#underfell #sans #fic #mod fic #mods commissions #thekraziesreside #sans x oc

[poppydaystories]

the secrets we keep close to our hearts

“What happened to us?”

The question hovers in the air, unanswered. Poppy’s afraid to touch it, let alone acknowledge it. She shifts on her butt, anxiously tearing some grass out from the ground. It’d taken them the whole summer to get here. To get to this very moment. It had been all Poppy had wanted, and now that it’s here, she’s afraid it’s another dream.

She lifts her head. Ellie’s staring at her, waiting. She wants an answer. She wants a list of reasons. She wants to be able to pick them all apart to ensure they won’t happen again. Poppy knows this, she knows that Ellie needs this, but still, she keeps her mouth shut.

“Real mature, Day. Real fucking mature.” Ellie pushes herself off the ground. She hovers for a moment, as if Poppy might suddenly beg. She can’t. Ellie nods once, sharp and defiant. “Alright, if that’s how you want it. Just don’t say I didn’t warn you, because right now? You just started a war that may never end.”

 “Ellie,” Poppy whispers. But it’s too late. Ellie is already halfway across the park by the time Poppy can find her voice. She hugs her knees close to her chest now and rests her forehead on her knees. Nothing will make this okay. Nothing. But it’s for the best. It is. It has to be. Poppy needs to protect Ellie, and this is the only way she knows how. It had to be done.

A sob breaks out of her, startling some of the ducks down at the pond. Poppy doesn’t know what to do, but when she finally manages to stand up, she has a feeling that she can’t go back now. She made her decision, and if Ellie ever found out, well, Poppy’s sure she’d feel worse than she already does.

Her phone buzzes in her pocket, and Poppy reaches into her pocket to read the text message.

TOM: did you seriously use your savings to pay off ellie’s dad so he’d disappear???

POPPY: you didn’t see the bruises, tom. I did what I had to do. you can’t ever tell her.

TOM: so it’s better to think that he just took off?

POPPY: yes. yes it is. can you imagine what it would be like for her to learn that her father accepted the $5k to leave her without a second thought? 5k, tom. 5 fucking thousand bucks. I was willing to give him 20k. he took my first offer.

TOM: god this is a mess. TOM: you really don’t want her to know?

POPPY: no, I don’t. she deserves a better life, and with her dad out of it, she has a chance at that now.

TOM: I don’t know what to say...

POPPY: there’s nothing to say. she hates me now. you can’t breathe a word. she barely has a self-esteem rn, and I think learning how little she’s worth to her dad will shatter that completely. she means everything to me, tom.

TOM: alright, I won’t say a word. just lmk what you need from me.

POPPY: can you pick me up? I don’t think I can stop crying long enough to drive home

TOM: duck pond?

POPPY: yes.

Knowing that Tom would be on his way, Poppy lets herself collapse back onto the ground. She hugs her legs and watches the ducks swim around. She’d signed Ellie up for a Love Me Self-Esteem Workshop two weeks ago, and she’d made Ellie promise she’d go. Poppy can only cling to the hope that she will. Out of everyone on this earth, Ellie deserves to love herself as much as Poppy does.

x x x

“Dad?” Ellie asks, peering at the old man behind the grocery store counter. She tilts her head. God, she hadn’t seen him in...what? Nine, ten years? Maybe twelve. She thinks he left when she was seventeen. So. Twelve years.

Twelve years and suddenly, he’s right there in front of her. She’d flown into LA for a job interview and had decided to grab some whole foods instead of relying on the hotel restaurant. She always did hate to eat alone in public.

“Eloise?” He sounds so uncertain, so timid. Then he flushes with embarrassment. “I bet you’re not surprised to find your ol’ man working the till at a rundown grocery store. You look...you look great, El. Really grown up.”

She stares at him before lifting her basket up onto the counter. “How did you end up in LA?”

“It’s a long story. Could I tell you over dinner? I’m nearly nine years sober, y’know.”

Ellie blinks. Her dad is sober? What? All those years she begged him to quit drinking because it made him mean and abusive. And now...now he’s sober? She can’t trust him, but the teenage girl inside her aches to believe him. “I--uh, sure. I’m in town for an interview. It’s tomorrow at two o’clock. How about we meet at four?”

“I get done at six?”

“Six it is then. I’m staying at the Marriott down the road. Meet me at the hotel restaurant?” she asks, still unsure of him.

“I’ll be there. I promise.”

Ellie knows that his promises tend to become disappointments, but she nods once. She’d become better than this. Her self-worth no longer depended on what her daddy thought of her. In fact, this would be the perfect test to see if that holds true.

“Don’t worry - I’ll get this. Have yourself a good night, okay?”

She takes her bags. “Yeah, okay. Sure. I’ll...I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Ellie doesn’t look back, because she’s afraid that she’ll have made it all up. Her fingers grip the grocery bag tightly and when she gets into her hotel room, she presses her back to the door. How could he have been so close for all these years? Getting sober? Ellie didn’t buy it.

ELLIE: I just ran into my dad.

TOM: wait, what???? where???? I thought you were in LA.

ELLIE: I am. and apparently so is my dad. he said he’s been sober for nine years. we’re getting dinner tomorrow night before I fly out.

TOM: I’ve got the kids until 8pm my time, but do you want me to give you a call afer?

ELLIE: no, no. I’m okay. really. I just wanted to let you know. how’s vernon adapting to being a single foster parent?

TOM: tbh I think it’s making him reconsider our breakup. I hope so, anyway. just lmk if you need to talk, okay?

ELLIE: will do, dude. but by the looks of what you’ve been posting on fb, single parenthood suits you.

TOM: that’s the kids & I trying to get vernon back. they’ve been with us for two years. their our kids, y’know? ethan will be turning 18 in two weeks, and I really wanted to surprise him with adoption papers with vernon on his bday.

ELLIE: oh wow, that’s incredible! I’m so happy for you guys!

And she is. Really. But wow, how can she be jealous of a seventeen year old kid who has been dealt a crap hand in life? It’s just...Ethan had two dads who love him more than anything. They had broken up for some reason - one that no one is willing to share with her - and yet they still love him so much. What must that be like?

Meeting her father for dinner makes her anxious, but she’s not going to show it. She never shows her weaknesses anymore. Keeping a straight face, sitting very still, she skims the menu. Of course, she already knows what she wants. But the heavy silence between them is too much.

“Please, tell me how you’ve been?” her dad ventures, setting his menu down on the table. “How was college? Are you seeing anyone these days? How’s Penelope and the boys? What were their names... um...”

“Penelope,” Ellie repeats softly. She hadn’t thought about Poppy in a long time. Her betrayal had been heartbreaking enough. She tilts her head. “Why do you remember Poppy? She barely came around the house and I...I never talked about her.”

Her dad blinks. It’s the same deer-in-headlights expression that Tom had had five years ago when he’d mentioned Poppy’s name in her presence. They had had one agreement - her, Tom, and Vernon - and that was to never, ever mention Poppy. They could be friends with her, but they were to pretend she doesn’t exist around Ellie. The heartache that Poppy’s name brought to her hadn’t eased with time.

“You mean, she never told you?”

“Told me what?” Ellie’s gripping the menu tightly. When the waiter comes to their table, they sense that there’s tension right now and casually slip away. “Frank, tell me right now.”

Her dad sighs, staring at his water glass. Then he meets her eyes. “Honey, Poppy paid me five thousand dollars for me to go away when you were seventeen. I took it and flew to New Orleans. I burned through a big chunk of it quickly, and then I flew to Vegas, with the hopes of making it back. There was so much booze in Vegas - it was like an alcoholic’s dream come true.”

Ellie doesn’t relax. If possible, she tenses some more. Poppy paid her dad to leave her? How dare she play god with Ellie’s life?

“Then about six months later, I went back to her. She told me you two weren’t talking anymore, but that you were doing so much better. I tried to blackmail her into giving me more money. Instead, she sent me to rehab. I’ll admit I tried to run away a few times, but there she’d be, yelling at me to get back into the building.” Her dad shakes his head. “You really don’t know any of this?”

“No, now keep talking. And talk fast.” Ellie’s vibrating with too many emotions to name.

“Basically, for the first five years after I left, I burned through Penelope’s savings and college tuition. She didn’t care. She was there, every step of the way. Constantly yelling at me, but she never wavered. No matter how mean I’d get. She’d remind me that I had to get better to make up for...well, everything.”

“What happened after the first five years?” Ellie whispers, barely recognizing her own voice. Poppy did this?

“She got a job in New York. She took the opportunity, but called me once a week for the next few years or so. Now we’re down to six month check-ins - I send her half of every pay cheque.” Frank tilts his head. “Eloise, I’m so sorry for all I had done to you. I know that I can’t ever make up for it, but I swear, I’m clean and I’m doing alright. I’m just not where I’d like to be. I wanted to be in a better position before reaching out to you.”

“Where is Poppy now?” Ellie asks.

“Uh, last I heard she’d gone up to Toronto for another job opportunity.”

“Toronto? Poppy is in Canada?”

“I think so. I still have her email address if you want it--”

“I...I don’t know what to say, Frank. I really don’t.”

“That girl loves you a lot, Ellie. She always gets a real soft look when she talks about you. She never really let me know what was going on between you, but I figured that was just ‘cause she didn’t want you to know what she was up to. She told me that you were engaged, so I had assumed that y’all were talking again.”

Engaged? How would Poppy know that...oh god. Tom and Vernon know. They know what Poppy’s been doing for her for twelve years and they never told her.

“I need some time to process this.”

“Wait, please. Just share a drink with me at least?”

Ellie freezes.

“I mean coffee or tea. God, sorry. I didn’t mean...I haven’t had a sip in nine years, I swear. I’m almost at my ten year anniversary.”

“I guess I could stay for one coffee.”

x x x 

Poppy gets off the subway, grateful to be part of the rushing crowd who switches to Line 2 at Bloor. Line 2 is usually less packed than Line 1. She adjusts her headphones, listening to a podcast. Sword and Scale is in their fifteenth season, and the murder they’re discussing is particularly gruesome. But no one else needs to know that this is what she listens to for pleasure.

She winces at a very detailed part before taking a seat. She relaxes, despite knowing she’l be getting off soon. Poppy watches some people around her. There are a group of high school kids huddled together, laughing and shouting. There’s an older man sitting across from her, reading the newspaper that Poppy had read on her way to work this morning. She spots a really good looking couple sitting a few seats down the car - one has a large trans flag pin on their bag and the other person has a scarf made out of the bisexual colours.

Poppy smiles. She’s been living in Toronto for a while now, and she loves it. There’s so many interesting people to watch and make up stories about their lives. But most of all? Living in Toronto was really nice because the diversity was incredible. She went from a small white-ass town to a big city with people from everywhere.

None of her Canadian friends have the same religious beliefs - other than the other two atheists in her office - and one one of them was actually born outside of Canada. She was a refugee, and Poppy had told her how much she admired her strength.

She’s no longer one of two black people in a room like she had been growing up. She’s surrounded by culture and diversity.

The podcast ends just as she’s getting off the subway to walk to her house just off the Danforth. Poppy pulls out her phone and frowns when she sees a string of texts from Tom.

TOM: Poppy, I don’t know what happened but I think the secret’s out of the bag. TOM: Ellie knows. she ran into her father accidentally. he told her the whole story. I had no idea. TOM: she called me yelling & didn’t even let me explain TOM: I don’t know what she’s going to do... TOM: but she did not sound happy. TOM: is it bad that I feel a little relieved? I hated lying to her.

TOM: wait, that lest message was for vernon but...well, it’s true.

She stands on the corner of Pape and Danforth for what feels like years. Poppy reads the messages once more. Then again. And again. Swallowing, she calls Tom.

“Poppy!”

“This is so bad. So bad.”

“It’s been like twelve years since you two talked. I feel like it should’ve blown over now.”

“I was her lifeline, Tom. I was her rock. And she lost me when she lost her dad.” Poppy closes her eyes. “She knew I was keeping a secret from her, and she couldn’t handle it. And I couldn’t tell her.”

“I know. I know. But c’mon. Poppy, you could’ve told her by now.”

“It was too hard. I didn’t want to open that can of worms when she was doing so well.” Poppy starts walking towards her home now. “How did this even happen? This is so bizarre.”

Poppy listen s to Tom, and she has to stop on the sidewalk a few times to process what he’s saying. Then she reaches her house, and freezes. After a moment of Tom asking her if she’s still on the phone, Poppy murmurs. “I gotta go, Tommy Boy. Ellie is on my porch stairs.”

“What?!” Tom yells.

“Love you,” Poppy says, on autopilot. She hangs up without waiting to hear his response. “Ellie.”

“Poppy. How could you?”

“I just...”

“I--I need to understand. Please.”

“C’mon in. We’ll talk.” Poppy passes her on the stairs to unlock her front door. “So you flew up?”

“Yeah. I had to reschedule my second interview.”

“What? This could’ve waited. Why would you risk a job opportunity like this?” Poppy asks. She kicks off her shoes and flicks on her kitchen light. Ellie drops her stuff in the front hallway before joining Poppy in the kitchen. “Ellie--Eloise, I just--what was the job for?”

“To become partner at a law firm.”

“So you really did it, huh? The boys told me but it’s nice to know they weren’t lying. That’s awesome - good for you.” Poppy fills the kettle with water and puts it onto the stove. Ellie had always drank tea, and Poppy hopes that hasn’t changed.

Ellie sighs. “Okay, look, let’s cut all the small talk bull shit. Why did you do it?”

Poppy shrugs. “I did what I thought needed to be done.”

“But my d--Frank, Frank said that you kept at it for five years before you had to move and that you still talk?”

“Ellie,” Poppy says, feeling more at ease now. Time had been kind to her in that sense - she felt more comfortable taking charge of a conversation. “You were always the girl who needed her dad to be a hero, but your dad wasn’t. So I thought...”

“You thought you could make him into a hero.”

“I was young when it started. I had no real concept of how much work and energy it is dealing with addiction. By the time I realized what I had committed myself, it was too late. You couldn’t have torn me from your dad’s side if the whole world depended on it. He was there for me when my mom died. He was there for me when my father shut down and then took off without a word. I didn’t mean to depend on him, but I had to.” Poppy is grateful when the kettle whistles. She gets up from the table and busies herself with getting mugs and teabags.

“I’m sorry to hear about your mom. She was pretty nice,” Ellie says, her voice soft. “And your dad just vanished?”

“Yep. Didn’t take his cell phone or wallet with him. One day, he stopped answering the phone and a week later, I flew down to find the house empty. Well, not empty. Everything was still exactly in it’s place. There was no note. No sign of anything out of the ordinary. He didn’t even made the bed or clean up the beer bottles. He was just gone.” Poppy sets the mug in front of Ellie before she sits down. “I had to legally declare him dead so I could take over the mortgage and stuff. I rent it out now.”

“Wow. I’m so sorry.”

Poppy shrugs. “Don’t be. I’ve had time to deal with it. So. Now you know. I never wanted to hurt you, Ellie. I just didn’t think at the time you could handle knowing what I had done.”

Ellie meets her eyes, her fingers curling around the mug. “I don’t think I could’ve back then. But I mean, time passed on, why didn’t you reach out to me?”

“I made a deal with Frank. Once he felt like he was good enough to reach out to you, then I had to. But I said I wouldn’t before then. It wouldn’t have seemed fair, y’know? To tell you what I had done, have been doing, and then telling you that you couldn’t talk to Frank because he wasn’t ready.”

“Wow. God, this is so much to take in.”

“I know. If you want to process it alone, that’s fine. I don’t know if you have a hotel room or not, but I have a guest bedroom that you’re more than welcome to stay in.”

“That would be nice...I didn’t really think that far ahead. I just went to the airport and bought a ticket for the next flight. I had to run through the airport. It was very dramatic.” Ellie smiles now. “And then I spent the entire plane ride freaking out and trying to understand everything. And then I realized that I had no idea how to get from the airport to your place so I grabbed a $60 Uber ride.”

“Frank give you my address?”

“Yeah. He said that he sends you Christmas presents and that you always mail him stuff throughout the year.”

“He’s kind of a penpal in that way,” Poppy tells her, with a fond smile crossing her lips. “So. I only know what you’ve been up to through Tom and Vern. Why don’t you catch me up on your life in your own words?”

“Sure, but first, can we talk about what the hell happened with Tom and Vernon?” Ellie asks.

Poppy’s shoulders relax for the first time since reading Tom’s text messages. God, she’d been dying to talk to someone about this. Her new Canadian friends didn’t really understand - they hadn’t met Tom or Vernon before, so all the drama meant nothing to them. Poppy could’ve reached out to Jane, but Jane had kind of faded from the group after college. Vernon is the only person who still talks to her occasionally.

“I can’t believe after all the crap they went through with Vernon’s mom and the whole thing with his siter and getting approved for foster care that they split.” Poppy shakes her head in disbelief. “And over a fucking book, no less.”

“It’s the stupidest fucking thing ever. I tried to tell Vernon to get his head out of his ass, because those kids mean the world to them both, and they shouldn’t be giving those kids any more instability,” Ellie says, waving her hands in the air.

Poppy laughs, because it’s so easy to fall into old habits. “They’re ridiculous. I’m pretty sure Vernon is going to freak when he discovers that book was part of Tom’s proposal plan.”

“He’s going to propose?!”

“Well, he was. Two months ago. But then Vernon stormed out and said he needed time to cool off.” Poppy frowns. “I think he’s worried about becoming his mom.”

“He’s a moron. He’ll never be like his mom.”

“I know. But you try telling that to him. He’s stubborn as a mule.”

“No kidding,” Ellie says, with lightness in her voice. They fall silent for a moment, before Ellie meets Poppy’s eyes. “Thanks, Poppy. For everything you did for me. I don’t think anyone has ever loved me that much before.”

“I know it’s like, twelve years too late, but uh. I just--Ellie, I would do anything for you. You meant everything to me.” Poppy hesitates before she adds, softly, “You still do. How I felt about you never changed. Not once.”

Ellie nods, as though she understands the weight behind Poppy’s words. Then she reaches out and puts her hand on Poppy’s. “I’m sorry that I doubted you.”

“It’s okay. It’s not too late. Why don’t you go settle in the guest room, maybe take a nap? It’s been a long week for you, I’m sure. When you wake up, I’ll have your favourite pancakes and bacon.”

The smile on Ellie’s face is worth everything to Poppy. “Breakfast for dinner is my favourite. Thank you, Poppy. Truly.”

“Go, go, get some rest.”

When Poppy’s alone, she goes over to the calendar hanging on her fridge. She runs her finger over today’s date.

Tomorrow will officially be three months since she’s been diagnosed with stage four cancer. Soon she’ll leave this earth, but at least she had the chance to make things right with Ellie first. She closes her eyes, adjusting her wig, and starts to make breakfast.

See, the thing is that the doctors didn’t realize the cancer was in stage four. They had misdiagnosed it as stage two. They had thought they could fight it. So Poppy had been going in and out of the hospital for chemo and radiation treatments. Then they learned that it was stage four. It had spread to different parts of her body.

Soon, she’ll be too weak to do anything but accept it.

But that’s tomorrow’s worries. Tonight, she’s just going to enjoy her company and thank the universe for giving her this chance to be with the love of her life once more.

x x x 

© e. days. may 2017.

#poppy day #poppy day updates #c poppy #c ellie #c tom #c vernon #bittersweet #poppy day fic

[addictionstories]

4

After I dropped Naomi off I thought more about what happened with the money. I was upset. I’m a nice guy, but I didn’t want to be a chump, and I didn’t want her taking advantage of my generosity. Maybe she didn’t mean it that way, but I was furious that she was using the money I gave her to buy drugs. I knew I couldn’t make that mistake again. I could take her out. I could buy her groceries. I could buy her clothes, meals, things like that.  But no cash--ever. There was just no way of knowing where it would go. And I was sure it would be going for drugs.

I went over to her place the next day. With Naomi it was always so relaxed. We didn’t have to do anything fancy. We didn’t need any special plans. Seeing each other was a daily thing now. We were curled up on the couch watching tv.

She started talking about a particular brand of soda that she loves: Jones Cream Soda.“It’s so good, but it’s kind of hard to find,” she said.

I really wanted to try it, so I suggested that we go looking for some. I’m always up for little adventures like that.

We stopped at Sonic and got a little food first, then we headed over to Wegmans. I pulled into the parking lot. “Park over there on the side by the train tracks,” she said. I opened the door and was halfway out of the car when I looked over at Naomi and saw her crouched down in her seat with her head slightly below the dashboard. When I poked my head back in to see what was going on, I saw smoke rising up and smelled a burning plastic scent.

What the fuck?, I thought. “What are you doing?” I asked.

She didn’t answer. She was holding a lighter up to a small glass tube that was in her mouth. Then after a few seconds, a cloud of smoke came out of her mouth.

“What the hell was that? It’s not like I needed an answer. I’d never seen a crack pipe before, but it was pretty easy to figure out what it was. “Man, this is nuts,” I said. “You can’t just smoke that stuff here in the car!”

“Well, that’s why I had you pull over here.”

“Yeah, but come on. You can’t just do that to me.” I was expecting a repeat of the hotel episode. But see seemed fairly lucid after she took the hit. I was surprised. I stood there for a minute, wallowing in my anger, shaking my head. “Are you going to be alright?”

She nodded.

“What does that stuff do to you anyway?”

“It just gives me a rush. I’ll be fine.”

I looked closely at her. Her eyes looked alright. Her breathing seemed normal. “Let me take your pulse.”

She put her arm out, wrist facing up. I put my finger on a vein. He pulse was normal. How could this be? I thought.

I grew up in the late 80s and early 90s. The Nancy Reagan, “Just Say No” era. Crack, at the time, was the most abhorred and fearsome substance known to man. One hit, they said, was all it took and your life would be fast tracked to the bottom of the nearest ghetto. I knew crack wasn’t good, of course. But were they exaggerating? Was it all bullshit?

Inside we found the cream soda and hit the bulk food section of the supermarket. Naomi filled up a bag with gummy works, weighed it and then filled it with some more. The extra gummy worms looked negligible so I didn’t say anything. I’ve always thought that they encourage that kind of thing in those bulk food departments. She might have saved herself 30 cents.

We talked more on the way home. “Look, promise you wont do that to me again. Really--smoking that shit in the car...that can never happen again!”

“I’m sorry. It won’t happen again,” she said. But somehow I wasn’t convinced.

I dropped Naomi off and took a leisurely route back home, driving through the city, taking Erie Boulevard downtown and then Butternut Street up though the North Side. I thought about how much the city had changed over the years. Erie Boulevard used to be prime real estate when I was a kid. Now it’s a wilderness of abandoned and decaying properties. A ruined landscape. A mini Detroit. The lifeless Pizza Hut. The Krispy Kreme, gone for over a decade. The sprawling medical complex rotting in the rain. The monstrous Sam’s Club, now 60,000 square feet of vacant retail space. The empty field that used to be a gas station. The sushi restaurant with weeds growing through the parking lot.

I reflected on my evening with Naomi. I needed to step back and look at this situation objectively. Yes, I still really liked her and thought she was an awesome girl. But I was a leery after the grocery money incident and the crack episode in my car. I knew I was going to have to be on guard for that kind of thing from now on. I had to establish a firm set of rules going forward. Absolutely no drug use around me. And I obviously couldn’t give her any cash. What she did on her on her time was her business. I couldn’t control that. But these were my boundaries and as long as she respected them, we’d be fine. It was that simple. We both cared about each other so we weren’t going to let any of this stuff get in the way, right? Her drug use didn’t have to interfere with our relationship.

Since I was living with my parents, I couldn’t really bring Naomi back there. So most of our hanging out was done at her place, or taxi man’s place. But taxi man gave me the creeps. There were ominous and menacing overtones with him. It wasn’t overt, but I could definitely pick up on it.  He’d never say anything to me. He’d always pop in for a minute when I was with Naomi, muttering something under his breath or having a loud and angry conversation on the phone. He had some kind of an accent. He spoke English but it almost sounded like a foreign language when he talked. I couldn’t quite place it. Sometimes Naomi would go into the kitchen or her bedroom and close the door to talk to him when I was there. It made me uncomfortable. I brought up the taxi man situation again.

“I know you stay with your parents sometimes. Can’t you move back in there for a while?” I asked.

“Well, this is the first time I’ve had my own place, really. I know it’s just the bedroom here. But taxi man is gone most of the time, and I have the whole place to myself when he’s not here. It’s nice for me. I’ve always lived with friends or boyfriends so this feels like I’m really out on my own.”

“Well, what’s the deal with taxi man? Who is he?”

“He’s a friend of a friend. And me renting this room helps him out financially too. So it works out for everyone.”

“Yeah, but all you have is a mattress on the floor here. You don’t have any of your stuff here or anything.”

“I know. But it’s just temporary. I’m going to go back to my parent’s place soon.”