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specialgrades · 4 months

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thinking about . . . taking care of nanami after a long day

➜ ┊: cw ! gender/genitalia of reader not specified, oral (m! receiving), sub!nanami, kinda lovesick ngl, established relationship

"let me take care of you." you say to nanami as you kneel between his spread legs. his head thrown back in exhaustion, he's not one to argue as you slowly tug his belt loose. he's so tired after the third bout of overtime this week, weakly lifting his hips to help you tug his slacks down. soft, fleeting kisses pressed to his hips and thighs. he shutters, the sensation ticklish. he's still soft when you tug his boxers down, but neither of you mind. light touches almost as fleeting as your kisses along the shaft. he sighs when your lips wrap around the tip. his body feels heavy as he sits there with his eyes shut and slowly hardening cock in your mouth, the long hours taking their toll. he twitches when you moan around him. your head bobs slowly, hand wrapping around the base that was difficult to reach with your mouth. his breathing is shaky, and he's slipping. "don' stop..." he mumbles, voice tired. his hips stutter up into your mouth when your tongue runs under the head. you felt your heart swell when you look up at him, a sight he saved only for you. the man so put together slowly losing it, relinquishing all control to you. you watch as he sluggishly unbuttons that blue dress shirt of his, tie and jacket already discarded when he first entered your shared home. bottom lip tugged between his teeth, he moans again when you take his cock into your throat in one calculated move. his eyes still closed, one of his hands finds purchase in your hair, running his fingers through the tresses. curses barely making their way past his lips. he was close a lot quicker than he'd like to admit, not that you'd complain. you keep your pace, cock twitching as you press your tongue along the prominent vein along it's underside. "love i⏤ 'm gonna⏤" you hum around him, wordless permission granted. a grunt and a whimper left him as his hips weakly stuttered up, his whole body shaking as he came on your tongue, your hand still moving up and down to help him ride it out. you didn't pull away until he did, hips falling back down against the couch as he caught his breath. he finally looked at you, eyes cracked open to watch your throat bob as you swallowed his release. one final shutter ran through him when you placed a kiss to his tip, more placed along his thighs as you helped him pull his boxers back on. "thank you." he breathes, body feeling ten times lighter than it did when he arrived home.

#✏️ ; works.#nanami kento x reader #nanami kento x male reader #jjk x male reader #jjk smut #jjk x reader #is this concept overdone? no. because he deserves it #was gonna give more time before i dropped this but my last post got ate so. lmao #kinda dogshit but dw #tumblr i swear to god if you eat this one too. i swear.

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fangirls-just-want-to-have-fun · 2 months

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say what you want about the live action ATLA

But shoutout to Dallas Liu, Gordon Cormier, and Ian Ousley cause if those boys were gonna do one thing it was DELIVER THOSE LINES and SERVE THAT EMOTION

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saintchaser · 6 months

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sirius black headcanons because obviously i can’t help myself

happy trail

really similar to his mother (and, by extension, to bellatrix) and his feelings on the matter are conflicting

effortlessly talented (in most things, including school). he only picks up studying in subjects he hasn’t taken before, but his memory is usually the most helpful

light sleeper, and wakes up a few times during the night; it takes him a while to fall back asleep

ruffles peter’s hair and puts his arm around his shoulder when they walk down the hallway

likes big cars

blunt, can come across as rude (sometimes he is). least approachable out of his friends, partially because he’s intimidating. polite, charming, charismatic, but keeps his distance from others

chips away the polish on his nails when he’s bored

cracks his knuckles and chuckles when peter hisses at the sound (“what are you even so mad about, mate?” “that sound will be the death of me”)

(would have loved bon jovi)

dislikes long car rides (he gets horribly bored) unless he’s the one driving

never was exactly on good terms with regulus. regulus had always been jealous of sirius for being accorded more attention due to him being naturally brighter, and sirius disliked him for being too soft and easy to manipulate

#he’s also low maintenance because as pinklume has so kindly put it he ATE RATS and LIVED IN A CAVE #also the last headcanon… you might not likr it but it IS my truth…#anyways. hi #this man is so fucking fine #no one understands him like i do #/j?#because there are some people who do but other people whose characterisation doesn’t match up with mine and that’s okay </3 #sirius black #sirius black headcanons #headcanons

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coquelicoq · 2 months

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post-canon every single member of kimcom likes to spoon kim dokja. nonsexually. it's just nice to know he's alive and there and feel his chest rise and fall within the circle of your arms. try to do something stupid now asshole. oh you can't? because of my octopus impression? that's right. take THAT. however i will make one exception for yoo joonghyuk. yoo joonghyuk may want to spoon kim dokja, but he never gets the opportunity because kim dokja wants to spoon him more. so the sleeping arrangement is yjh>kdj>all other kimcom members on rotation. actually i take it back there's one other household member who doesn't want to spoon kim dokja and it's yoo mia, but that's fine because she's one of the only people (besides kim dokja) who yoo joonghyuk would be comfortable spooning. so there's probably times when it's yma>yjh>kdj>today's lucky winner.

incidentally this is also the order for the doing-each-other's-hair train because while yoo mia WILL allow other people to do her hair, no one wants to because she always compares their skills unfavorably to her brother's. and she's really articulate about it. just utterly scathing. one time her criticism was so devastatingly, accurately incisive that she made lee hyunsung cry. yoo joonghyuk spooned him that night to cheer him up and yoo mia was so mad about it that lee hyunsung had to leave the country for a couple weeks. the household learned a valuable lesson that day. it's best not to disturb the delicate spooning/hair-train balance.

#i love how often the webtoon shows people giving their injured teammates piggyback rides #like yeah that is way easier than a bridal carry. good weight distribution #but also it means when they go into Spoon Mode they're like. hey this is familiar!#anyway kimcom totally has a schedule for who gets to spoon kim dokja because otherwise shin yoosung and lee gilyoung would #resort to murder #also han sooyoung was hogging him and pretending it didn't count because it was her clones doing it #(classic excuse. it wasn't me. it was my clone! my clone stole the cookie from the cookie jar! my clone ate my homework!!)#kim dokja figures out that there's a schedule but he thinks it's like. a chore for them instead of something they're fighting over #because he is an idiot 😎👍#the other sleeping arrangement is kim dokja lying on his back and one person on each side cuddling up to him #that's the default when yjh isn't around for kdj to spoon. which doesn't happen very often #if anyone asks no i did NOT start crying the last time someone spooned me because i was incredibly touch-starved. utter lies #totally untrue and also completely irrelevant to the matter at hand #orv #omniscient reader's viewpoint #my posts #f #kdj #orv spoilers #i guess??#kimcom in the situation room trying to strategize how to turn him back into a squid so they can all have a tentacle to cuddle #kim dokja only has two hands and like ten people who want to clutch him to their bosom...but what if he had MORE than two hands?#he has before and he can again. as god is their witness

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lukedjarinsblog · 1 year

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fic: angst, enemies to lovers, slow burn, etc

me: I don't like when the same things keep repeating on fics sometimes they need to change a bit

fic: luke is unaware that din has been kissing him for weeks by touching foreheads through his helmets or that din has been courting him because luke doesn't know about mandalorian culture

me, automatically:

#LIKE I WILL ATE IT EVERYTIME #i dont care how many fics about this are out there I WILL READ THEM ALL #and LOVE it when they make luke lose his mind like #luke: no way I've been pinning for din for weeks thinking he is not reciprocating WHEN IN REALITY HE HAS BEEN KISSING ME?#or when everyone knows they are into something because din even does it in public in front of other mandalorians so luke #is basically the last one to be aware of it lol #din djarin #luke skywalker #dinluke #star wars

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melonnade · 5 months

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thought about sending this meme to my friend who hasn’t finished tgcf with the caption “it’s because Bai Wuxiang teaches him how to cook”

#tgcf #xie lian #heaven official's blessing #tian guan ci fu #I don’t know why the quality came out so bad #image got compressed for some reason 😭#when he ate his mom’s food for the last time…. that part. that part got me.#still thinking about sending the meme. haven’t done it yet. on one hand. it’ll be really funny esp once she gets to book four.#on the other hand. is it a spoiler to even insinuate that there’s a reason for xie lian’s bad cooking? that there’s something deeper to it?#because right now it’s a ‘haha that’s so funny and endearing’ character trait #it isn’t a ‘cripples you with sorrow whenever you think about it too hard’ character trait #but it will be…. it will be

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tacit-semantics · 2 years

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Actually I think jane postcanon should use her godtier powers to throw murder mystery dinner parties that are simultaneously really high and really low stakes because while the victim in question might not STAY dead the sheer amount of mockery they’re subjected to for their subpar performance during their death scene makes them wish they did. Anyways I think this should drag on to the point where it’s excruciating I think there should be just 10000 pages of that

#she’s their star detective of course tho it gets a little hard to follow because there’s no storyline or anything the tradition starts when #someone pushes Dave off the balcony because he ate the last of the movie night pizza rolls and he of course demands vengeance and thus no #one knew peace ever again amen #jane crocker #homestuck #tacit rambles #food mention #death mention

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starbuck · 2 months

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i can’t remember if i ever actually made the Ravenous Ghost Bell analysis post, but i wish i had time to make it because i feel like it would be received well in this moment…

#i mean… tldr: ghosts are real in Ravenous #mostly in the heads of the people who ate them #both to harass them in nightmares but also to influence their physical actions #(usually as an echo of something they themselves did in life)#there are COUNTLESS examples of this - which i will give the highlights of when i actually DO make the post #but there’s specifically a moment in the final Boyd-Ives showdown where a bell is rung #and we don’t see who rang it but it causes Boyd to focus and draws him to the barn where he sees the bear trap and is Inspired #and we can presume that the bear trap was Reich’s idea (based on that deleted bear trap shooting scene that i made the gifset of)#but then WHO rang the bell??#obviously it is implied to (and must have been) Ives #but why did he do it?#to get Boyd’s attention - naturally… sounds like him #he knows that time is ticking… wants to lure Boyd to his trap #BUT the thing is that Ives ate Reich too #and i feel like (being a long-time cannibal with no moral compass) he is probably Less influenced by the people he eats than Boyd is #but i also like to think that - in that moment - Reich subconsciously influenced him to do it #because - notably - Reich was the one who rung that bell the last time he left Fort Spencer - he’s the only character we see so it #so like. tldr again: ghosts are Real in Ravenous and Reich’s ghost rung the bell in that scene #to help Boyd focus and lead him to the solution that would give him the upper hand in the conflict to defeat Ives #and someday i will write ALL of that up properly - but it’s just SO good and i love to talk about it #so here i am #ghostposting the night away…#not tagging this because i want the REAL analysis to get notes whenever i post that #but feel FREE to chat with me about this if you see it!#i love Ravenous and i miss talking about it #i have SO much to say lol

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asexualsoup · 1 year

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Everyone loved it when I said Mick Mercury and Rita were real close to death in Season 4, so here I go with a Season 5 prediction, lads:

You know who else is real close to death right now?

Lord Arum.

We were all talking about the baby/fatherhood foreshadowing, but no one was talking about this.

It was all laid out back in Ocean Oracle. He almost died on the leviathan when Sir Galahad broke his magical connection to The Keep. The only thing that saved Arum was that dried fruit he brought with him in his bag.

And do you remember what he says after he eats it?

That fruit was his last one.

Mister Immortal-ish Lizard Man is starting Season 5 two inches away from death, my friends. One more blast from Galahad, and he's done for.

Had this post saved in my drafts for a while. Thank you @penumbrapodcastincorrectquotes for inspiring me to finally post it.

#to be fair he says “i have only one”#but because he doesn't say “only one left” that really implies to me that he just ate his last one #so buckle up friends Season 5 is gonna be bumpy #tpp #the penumbra podcast #penumbra podcast #lord arum #the second citadel #second citadel #ladyshakesqueer conspiracies

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polysyndetonaddictsupportgroup · 5 months

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I was reading sea glass gardens for like the 8th time in a row (listen I was praying to the gods for a fic focuses on Megumi & Yuuta, for a fic that shows Megs dynamic with the Zenins more, and for a fun little gojo adopts the fushiguro siblings and forced his friends to play aunt and uncle. You checked all my boxes. I am in debt to you now.) and its the way I'm still seeing the little details that should've been so fucking obvious to me —

Megumi and Tsumiki fucking around and adopting some of Gojo’s habits and sayings? I know he was so proud that his children is becoming mini versions of him. Toji is crying in the depths of hell while Mamaguro is happy as hell in the pearly gates.

“It’s a garden” it took so long for me to peep that this was his domain. Like tfw when your domain is fucking you up. I pray that Gege shows us his completed domain. Actually I PRAY GEGE LET MEGUMI SHOW OFF HIS FUCKING POTENTIAL. But alas Gege is a coward.

THE NICOTINE PATCH? Oh Shoko my beloved. I get her. I fucking hate cancer sticks but if I had to spend time with corpses, being forced to converse with the higher ups, and having to be friends with Gojo and Geto AND witness their divorce. Well. I would’ve smoked something too. Like goddamn these bitches should’ve been at the club.

The little callbacks to the playbooks? How petty the sorcerer world gotta be for them to have cheat sheets on their enemies. Is that not crazy? Is this who they are? Petty bastards.

toji pulling up to get married in sweats. megumi killing curses at such a young age for his sister? toji giving megumi shit to get him to stfu? oh megumi you dodged a bullet with toji.

BUT WHAT I REALLT WANTED TO WAS THE BATHHOUSE. Megumi needs to go feral as a threat cause imagine how humiliating that must’ve been. A bunch of assholes & such watching you like some fucking cult. I really hope that Megumi and Gojo have some type of reassuring talk about his time at the Zenins.

(Yaga and Gojo going at it while Panda in the room is so funny to be but…it’s also kind of sad. Like imagine seeing your dad figure basically be okay, well not okay but not willing to fight back, about the higher ups and everything.)

Obsessed with the fact that I can toss up what seems to me to be a random niche interest and find a community of people who wanted exactly that. I’m thrilled I checked off your boxes.

The bathhouse was designed to be humiliating by nature. I talked about it more on another post (but fuck if I know where it is), but the point of including that whole bit was that I really couldnt think of any better way to emphasize that megumi wasn’t a person to them.

On its face, the private bathhouse with servants tending to it could be a sign of status. It’s kind of an old world nobility thing to have? Which fits with the Zenin, who are very traditional and value Megumi as their most treasured person to be born to the clan in centuries. He would be presumptive heir if Gojo hadn’t intervened. So they’d easily be able to cast this in their own minds as a good thing, as a way they’re taking care of him. He’s not subjected to the communal bathhouses or small private bathrooms like the majority of the clan—they’ve given him his own private facilities and servants to care for him in it.

However, once you take away Megumi’s consent, it becomes an absolutely humiliating and degrading experience that only happens for the Zenin’s comfort and not his own.

I spoke about this in the other post in more detail, but I tried to imply that this wasn’t the first time the Zenin had done this to him. And there’s two points that kind of implicate that—when Maki’s talking to Yuuta about how it used to be when Megumi was a kid, she says the first thing that they would do when he arrived in the clan was hand him over to the servants to make him presentable. She also talks about how viciously he hated the way they’d make him look in the clan, including stomping the clothes they’d make him wear in the mud. When Megumi himself is talking about the bathhouse, he says he was given over to the servants like when he was a kid. This wasn’t a new experience for him. They weren’t doing this to him for the first time. They did this to him when he was a kid, and he’s reliving all of that trauma anew.

In my mind, it was a product of how selfish the Zenin’s love for megumi is.

He’s their favorite doll. He’s a possession. They want him to look and act exactly the way they expect from him, and they despise any divergence from what they want the ten shadows to be. And they hate it when they’re reminded of how Gojo took him from them.

They don’t want him dressed in modern clothes. They don’t want his hair styled in a manner similar to Gojo’s. They want him to look like the Ten Shadows they always wanted, and one surefire way of controlling that is to simply do it themselves, whether or not megumi is on board.

And the thing is? It is such a fundamentally minor thing to let someone bathe and dress themselves. It would have cost the Zenin so so little to let Megumi do it. Even if they were still dictating what clothes he wore and how he styled his hair (which would still rob him of his autonomy on its own, they could have at least let him do the actual act of bathing and dressing himself. They could have violated him a little bit less than they already were. The biggest inconvenience it would have risked to them would be him doing something not to their exact standards and losing a few minutes to making him redo it. But on Megumi’s end, it symbolizes a huge source of autonomy and comfort. Letting Megumi bathe himself really does impact so little for them, but for Megumi, it could have saved him from lasting trauma.

The Zenin do it to him anyway because they value their minor conveniences over his very bodily autonomy. They don’t even recognize that as a genuine concern. He’s a possession to them. An object. They don’t actually love him, and the love they think they have is actively dangerous to him. They will violate him in a very fundamental way just so they can make sure he looks how the ten shadows is supposed to look, and they won’t care.

Being forcibly bathed against your will is just humiliating, especially at Megumi’s age, and it’s one of the things that hurt him the worst out of everything the Zenin just did to him. I think Megumi takes physical pain better than he does humiliation. Having to be exposed and vulnerable the way he was with other people watching was a more effective torture than locking him in a room with curses for days.

But there’s extra layers to it if you consider 1) this is something the Zenin have done to him before and 2) this is something that he could have stopped.

When Megumi was six, he was definitely at the age where he was already bathing himself. Some parenting books say parents should still be helping at that age, but his parents were completely checked out well before then. He had already been handling all his hygiene needs on his own. Having strange adults force him to let them do it for him was a traumatizing and infantilizing experience that represented one of the many ways the Zenin robbed him of all control over his own life when they had him.

But now it’s happening again.

And megumi probably didn’t think the Zenin would do that to him again, walking into this. He probably explained it away as them doing that to him because he was still a little kid at the time. He told himself it happened because he was six, and he’s not six anymore.

Having it all happen again was a very visceral reminder of how helpless his abusers used to make him, and immediately kicked him back down to that level with a very potent reminder. It’s trauma reawakening trauma. He felt like he was six again. He probably told himself for a long time that it would never happen again and it still did.

The other thing is that he’s a lot more capable in a fight than a six year old. He’s a grade two jujutsu sorcerer. He’s a fighter. And he’s being manhandled by servants who don’t have a lot of cursed energy, if they’re even sorcerers at all, and aren’t meant to be combatants. These are people he should be able to defend himself against easily. He should be able to stop them from doing this to him again.

For whatever reason, he couldn’t.

Maybe Gojos theory about them having something on him was right. Or maybe he was too worn down and broken from the cursed spirits. Maybe it was something else. Whatever the reason, this is something that he would have told himself he was strong enough to stop, and then he wasn’t. He either had to let it happen or couldn’t stop it even if he tried. It’s a new level of helplessness and humiliation that it made him experience.

In short, megumi does deserve to go feral over the bathhouse, and probably needs to. He’s really not okay over it. It would probably be cathartic.

#sea glass gardens #this fic was designed to make sure megumi came out of it with a really bad state of mind and part of the reason why is because it’s meant to #slot into the gap of canon between JJK0 and season 1 #Megumi walks into season 1 with his fixation on maharoaga at an absolutely dire level #he tries to pull the trigger there every other fight #and in my mind a lot of that’s because Megumi’s just /not okay/ when canon starts #this episode with the Zenin is supposed to feed into that #prior to the Zenin mahoraga was a last resort #but when we hit season 1 Megumi’s very decidely hitting ‘last resort’ a bit. prematurely.#he’ll start a fight and be like ‘whelp this is it’ bb try at least #this zenin incident is meant to feed into it #he had his moment of last resort. the moment where even Gojo and Nanami agreed that what the Zenin were demanding he do was a death sentence #and he /didn’t use it/ for some reason. they kept him from it.#mahoraga was his safety blanket over the years. the one sure point of control over his life. he’d die as a jujutsu sorcerer and not have #a choice in becoming one to begin with. but he’d die taking them down with him. he’d die on his terms. it was the /one/ point of control he #had. the Zenin robbed him of that and robbed him of a lot of other illusions of control #megumi didn’t have control over when he slept. when he ate. where he went. what clothes he wore. they even stripped him of the basic act of #getting control over his own bathing processes. it was the most violating loss of autonomy imaginable.#Megumi’s going into season 1 with severe ptsd and an almost manic desire to make sure he doesn’t lose control again. he wants to make sure #that he can at least go out on his terms. he lost every other feeling of security and autonomy and he needs to still have this #also panda was fucking sweating during that time #his dad was Not the most popular man in that room and he agreed #megumi thinks that the Zenin did that purposefully to hurt him and it would honestly hurt him worse to find out that it was a twisted act of #love. like. he gets hate. he understands hate. he knows why someone would do that to hurt him. he doesn’t know why they would do it out of #love. and it would disturb him on a profound level if he knew that was what the Zenin thought of that moment #they told themselves that they were putting him to rights and restoring him to the ten shadows he would one day be again and would #understand then. they can’t conceptualize a version of megumi that legitimately rejects them so they reject his autonomy and freedom in #getting to decide to reject them

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scribbling-dragon · 9 days

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sometimes I think about my years as a scout. and then wonder how im still alive/sane

#WHEN DID I WRITE THIS??? HELLO??#i have no memory of doing this but my drafts were empty last week????#we did a competition camp and we burned everything. set baked beans on fire set a tub of butter on fire #i ate a basically raw sweet potato because we were tired of waiting for it to cook more #someone in my troopgot paid 20p to drink a concotion of out of date juice dirt water and stick pieces (he did it)#i sat and read a warrior cats book in the shared tent while my friends pretended to have gay sex next to me #(i say pretend because they were still fully clothed #that was just one camp #and then at the scout hut we had a box of expired foods that wed occasionally go thru #and my sister got tricked into eating a green marshmallow and got food poisoning #(i didnt eat it bc i was suspicious of why they were giving out free food)#i had a knife thrown at me multiple times. most notable being when someone (weird drink guy) thought i was tryna steal his chair #we werent allowed pocketknives at camp after that #one of the leaders hated me. told me i looked miserable all the time and didnt like that i was vegetarian #but its fine bc he was a dick. made us clean his car okce because it was a “learning experience”#my parents paid for me to go to scouts #i talk to none of the people from there anymore #oh and the majority of the boys had a weird obsession with my sister. and would ask me how to talk to her #i think it really shaped me as a person tbh

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julielilac · 10 months

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Umbrella merch by his FC, the famous skirt-pants and Nike shoes 👀

#build jakapan #my text post #welcome back to Japan #I will speak on this topic for the first and last time #because just like he is trying to replace bad memories with good ones and move forward so I want this for myself #his last trip to Japan traumatized me and the whole fandom #everyone in that cursed company was having fun and laughing #while his life and career was ruined by pathological liar psychotic woman who couldn't break up like a normal person #his country was against him and crazy antis could do anything to him #but he was sent home ALONE without a bodyguard in a f*cking taxi to the airport and not a company car #and after his arrival he sobbed in his father's arms #he ate and slept poorly his family was afraid to leave him alone #his former company wrote that he was suspended from all projects and all brands refused to work with him #the screenwriter with whom he was supposed to work discussed accusations of plagiarism with this psychopath #(in which it wasn't her who was accused but him although he wasn't even a screenwriter)#and the CEO of the company called it's 'a coincidence'#after that his former company wanted to put on a show and put them both in the same room in front of reporters #but he decided to leave the company for his own good #a month later he sued her for deformation blackmail and coercion #but even after the verdict of the court that ruled that everything said by this b*tch was a lie #neither she nor the antis leave him alone and sabotage his work #and journalists continue to ignore the results of the trial and either remain silent about his successes or write vile articles about him #I'll never forgive a single person in that cursed company #not a single pathetic cowards who called themselves his friends and 'family'#couldn't stand up for him knowing damn well that he was slandered #and that wasn't even the worst part because they f*cking CLAPPED his ab*ser from the stage #they still work with her and call her name while treating him like he doesn't exist #their disgusting attitude towards the victim makes me wish to erase their existence from my memory to the point I'll forget their names #I don't care why they chose silence and don't even start with the 'private support' bullsh*t because there was none #and even IF it was there he needed PUBLIC support like his sister and his old friend did

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meatriarch · 3 months

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im still on my fuckshit but when i think of cc maria ( by extension also nosy maria but specifically noting the isolation aspect of cc );

can you imagine one day skimming the paper. its been a few weeks since all the commotion knowing your friends' had attempted to come find you but then were chased off. never actually heard or saw any of them, but you know they were around.

but you've been moved from the cells to a mattress upstairs. you're given more freedom, more wiggle room, you're allowed to do things - little hobby-type activities - you're given better foods, you're looked after by the older woman at the other house. the man who took you, who terrifies you still to some degree, slowly doesn't feel like such a stranger anymore, you're right to still be cautious around him but as the days, the weeks, pass by, there's simply a different air about him, and in the shack. lighter, in a sense.

you find yourself growing used to the new daily - the new routine. of waking to the sound of him getting ready for the day, of being left alone in there for hours sometimes, others trailing after him like a duckling, around the older womans' property, helping with an array of tasks. and you worry about upsetting her at first, unsure if doing so will earn a knife to the throat. you listen, you do as you're told, you find some kind of way to co-exist - all the while still, in the back of your mind, there's still a ray of hope,

that maybe, maybe, since the rest of them got away - that they're merely licking their wounds, that they'll get word out and even with all the silence since they had been on the property, there's that shred of hope that maybe? someone will waltz in, guns blazing so to speak, and you'll get out of this hell finally.

that is, until that day - that you're skimming through the paper, and you recognize yourself in a little column - and you realize you're staring at your own fucking obituary.

and in that moment everything seems solidified.

you're never getting away.

there's no point in it.

there's no one out there who are still trying to find you, get you back, bring you home, back to your mothers' arms, back to being an older sister, back to the circle of friends you loved so dearly.

you're dead.

not just to the world, but to those you loved - those who claimed to have loved you, too.

what else do you have at that point? where else do you go, even if you still tried to leave? who wouldn't look at you sideways for the blood that's already stained your hands? for the flesh caught between teeth?

who else is there, except the one murmuring encouragement and praise in your ear?

the only constant you've had in all these weeks? whose words rang true - clearly - that no one cared? that they abandoned you? left you there, didn't even care to make sure you were alive or not? only thought of themselves and got the fuck outta there without confirming if you were even still alive.

#[ ♡ ] ── * maria f. / 𝘭𝘰𝘳𝘦.#[ 𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘦𝘦. ] ── * queue.#[ 𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘦. ] ── * cold case.#[ 𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘦. ] ── * no one saved you.#for cc maria its just. theres literally no one else. the only constant has been johnny. hes the one who was there with her when the #broadcasts sounded off her searches being called off. the only one who ensured she ate - was clothed - was looked after when she fell ill.#who she could talk to. who in spite of all her escape attempts & all her attempts at trying to kill him kept her around - taught her how to #do things properly - protected her from others that'd be brought down below shack. honestly. her isolation in cc - only having any sort of #connection being with johnny for *months* before he trusted her enough to let her join him for longer periods - like its. complicated.#SO fucking complicated. youre seen as dead to literally everyone else in existence - *except for him*. he who sees you. who hears you.#who talks to you. looks after you. its hard not to find yourself becoming attached/devoted. to the only person who knows you still exist #like i mentioned for nosy its. theres lee there too now so its. a little different. it doesnt hit right away - the almost blind devotion.#but it still happens - over time - with the both of them. the last two people who for a time at least know you were even still living.#and its by the time ch2 rolls in for either cc/nosy its just. its so confusing to her. why they all bother returning then?#for cc its just. you all buried me in an empty box twenty years ago...you all moved on then. you accepted that. so why are you here now.#why are you re-opening wounds that shouldve been long buried - with that empty casket. why suddenly care now?#in nosy she suppresses it w. her bitterness but cc i feel it comes out more like... grief & hurt. all over again. because if you came back #20 yrs after the fact? then why DIDNT you return back then? why *now* and not then? at any point in the last two decades?

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yesyourstalker · 7 months

Text

Neta: ikkan.... You still awake?

Ikkan: mmmmm I am now

Neta: Oh I'm sorry. I'll tell you when we get home

Ikkan: I'm already awake now. You can just tell me...... Is something wrong? You've been fidgety this whole day

Neta: No there's nothing wrong I just I just have stuff in my mind.. is all

Ikkan: mmm............ Come here......

Neta: ok.......*sigh* this is nice.... You should get a chest tattoo. Maybe something that It goes with your scars. Maybe like vines or something plant related. You've been really good with your plants lately it's impressive

Ikkan: That's something to think about. What's on your mind?

Neta: I've been thinking do we get married after you graduate and we move or do we get married before so we don't have to plan anything and just settle down and adjust?

Ikkan:................................................................. um I don't know. I didn't really think about that........ I didn't really think about marriage. Haven't thought about that since we .........hm... Did my mom say something to you?

Neta: yeah she did.......I do want to get married. Do sill you want to get married?

Ikkan:........... Yeah. I do want to be married, but right now I think we should just focus on our lives. You deal with your store and me, with everything going on. I think we can put wedding planning on hold for now but I do. I do think we should renew our engagement.

Neta: that's good. I'd thought you'd say no

Ikkan: why would you think I would say no?

Neta: I don't know. I just get into my own head sometimes. I remembered moments when I was a lot to deal with. I don't think you'd want to deal with that the rest of your life.....not with me

Ikkan: That's not true. I would gladly live with you, be with you and love you through every moment of your life. Including the bad moments.... [Kiss].... Besides, I have bad moments too and you deal with me...... Remember when I couldn't find my guitar pick and just completely melted down... and I didn't speak for two days.......you stayed, most people wouldn't stay when I'm like that.... A lot people didn't

Neta: that's different.... Those are one time things and it could be preventable most of the time..... You just had a bad day.... When I have a bad day that extends to a week and then a month and so on............ That doesn't sound like a good life to share with someone. It doesn't seem like it's worth it. {Taka: it's not worth it... You're not worth it}

Ikkan: It is... It is worth it. You're kind, you're generous, you're attentive, you're nurturing, funny, smart........ You have pretty eyes.....[kiss]..... It's a good life...... You're giving me the best life Neta and I'm happy that I'm living this life with you.... You've change so much.

Neta: yeah like physically... Mostly just looks

Ikkan: no.... well yes,... But your physical changes also came along with a lot of other changes......More mature in a way. More vulnerable and affectionate. You're more calm, less angry when frustrated. Not on edge like you used to.....*sigh*....You let your guard down a little that a good thing..... You weren't like that when we met.... Or when we were first engaged..... I think at that time it wasn't the right time. I don't think you were ready. Honestly neither was I...... I think this time.... This time right now I think we're both ready for this kind of commitment

Neta: so It's a yes... Ikkan... Will you marry me?

Ikkan: hehehehe.. yes... I will marry you.... hehehe

Neta: yesss.... [Kiss] [kiss]... We're back...... [Kisskissksskiss]

Ikkan: Neta! Heheheheh stop! Hehehe

Neta: hehehe.....*sigh*...... Maybe I should have waited...

Ikkan: why?

Neta: I have this whole thing planned.... Where I was going to give you back your bass and tell you that I didn't want it anymore and you were going to ask why and I was going to explain that I didn't need it anymore because I played it when you were away.... and when I started to miss you but now that you're back in my life and it was this whole thing-

Ikkan: why don't we just forget that we had this conversation.... We go home and you get to do your little planned out proposal... Okay?

Neta: yeah..... That's a good idea....*yawn*..... We need to go to sleep........ Our flight is in the morning.........*snoring*

Ikkan: hehe how do you fall asleep so fast?... [Kiss]...

Next day

Mahi: you think it's weird that we're still at his place?... Maybe we should have went home.

Warabi: why? our whole side of the city including The mall's power is out... The hottest day of the year no less.... I'm telling you that zapfish is on its last leg..... That thing has been powering our city before it even was a city. When my grandfather was my age That's pretty old.

Mahi: yeah.... They live quite a long time and it's only 100 and what 5 years old? I'm pretty sure it can like live for maybe another 100 years

Warabi: their life span is 200 something. That's half of their lifespan gone. They're also powering underground life too. the war is over everyone has free power source. It's not just surface dwellers anymore.....

Mahi: They're going to have to get another one.. maybe a younger one..

Warabi: I'm not not one for making predictions, but I feel like this might be the first time inkling and the octarian military are going to have to work together and-oh shit hide hide hide

Mahi: *oof*

Neta: home at last! my own food and my own bed..........*gurgle*....... And my own toilet..... Brb baby.

Ikkan: where's my Nibbles! Nibbles! You miss Daddy??..... nibbles! what did I tell you about jumping on the counter! Come here!

Mahi:..............

Warabi:......... Shhhhhhh.... crawl to the bedroom when Neta leaves

Mahi: ok....... They left the front door unlocked

Ikkan:.. .. Babe did you eat my walnut shrimp!? That's been in there for a week before we even left!! ....... See this is why you're in the bathroom now. You just eat shit you shouldn't and then you pay the con-.......hehehe what are you doing?

Neta: I'm giving you back your bass... I don't need it anymore

Ikkan:...... heheh... Why I thought you wanted my bass.

Neta: I did. I used to play it all the time when you weren't here when I started to miss you. It was during a time when It was a lot harder for us to be in each other's lives.... When I played it I realize that I didn't want you to just be a little glimpse in my life. I want you to be a part of it . I want to be a part of yours...... I love you..... I-I don't really have words to describe my feelings for you. I just know that when I'm around you.... I feel safe and secure and wanted....... I didn't want to cry... *Sniff*.....I never thought I would get to this point......... where I'm actually happy..... Truly happy and I don't think I would have gotten there if I didn't meet you....... That's why I want you to have your bass back....... I don't need to keep with me all the time, it'll always be there when I need it like you. if willing?

Ikkan: if willing what?

Neta: if you're willing to marry. Ikkan......... Will you marry me?

Warabi: *gasp*

Mahi: *silent screaming*

Ikkan: hehehehe...... yes .... I will marry you

Neta: hahahaha yes! Nailed it! Hahahah [kisskissksskiss]

Ikkan: hehehe Neta!..... Cut it out! Hehe...............

Neta:................................

Ikkan:.............................

Ikkan and Neta: [kiss]

Warabi: aw....so sweet

Ikkan........*moan*....

Warabi: oh.... uhh

Mahi: we need to go NOW. They're not looking go.. gogogogogogo..... Before it gets worse..... Gogogo

Warabi:........ Oh my Cod........ Can't believe they didn't notice this!

Mahi:.......... Hahahahahahaha!

Warabi:....... hahahahahahaha!

Mahi: let's go. This was...... Wow!

Warabi: you think that the new rice place is open?... I heard it's good.

Mahi: let's just hope. The power is on over there...... You ate two week old shrimp by the way.

Warabi: but it tasted like one week...

Mahi put together with rubber bands and silly putty by @fish-at-fish-fish-resort

#They are no longer long distance boyfriends they're a long distance fiances #they broke the internet when Neta posted it on squitter and Inkstagram #taka is big mad but he won't come back..... maybe... I don't know I should write something that has neta tell him off #i rewatched the one episode of Fionna and cake with Simon and Betty and I got feelings #Neta gave two assholes his address and now he's paying for it #Warabi ate two week old shrimp and survived #Neta eats anything past the the expiration date or is a little too greasy he's one step closer to death #he does it anyway because he hates waiting food #when inkling parents tell their kids to eat there are starving kids underground. they were talking about him #it's honestly ingrained into both cultures not to waste food for very different reasons #octarians is because food used to be scarce and you had to eat it all cuz you never know it might be your last #inkling is because you should be grateful for what you have because there are others who don't have it #yeah their city is having power problems the great fish is either on its last leg or it's being overworked probably the latter #Neta might have to go on a emergency “business” trip to fix the problem #i don't think they would want a wedding they'd just sign papers and just have a reception or a party

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meatriarchived · 5 months

Text

i did not sleep yay for me im still on my fuckshit but when i think of cc maria ( by extension also nosy maria but specifically noting the isolation aspect of cc );

that is, until that day - that you're skimming through the paper, and you recognize yourself in a little column - and you realize you're staring at your own fucking obituary.

and in that moment everything seems solidified.

you're never getting away.

there's no point in it.

there's no one out there who are still trying to find you, get you back, bring you home, back to your mothers' arms, back to being an older sister, back to the circle of friends you loved so dearly.

you're dead.

not just to the world, but to those you loved - those who claimed to have loved you, too.

who else is there, except the one murmuring encouragement and praise in your ear?

#for cc maria its just. theres literally no one else. the only constant has been johnny. hes the one who was there with her when the #broadcasts sounded off her searches being called off. the only one who ensured she ate - was clothed - was looked after when she fell ill.#who she could talk to. who in spite of all her escape attempts & all her attempts at trying to kill him kept her around - taught her how to #do things properly - protected her from others that'd be brought down below shack. honestly. her isolation in cc - only having any sort of #connection being with johnny for *months* before he trusted her enough to let her join him for longer periods - like its. complicated.#*so* fucking complicated. youre seen as dead to literally everyone else in existence - *except for him*. he who sees you. who hears you.#you speaks with you. looks after you. its hard not to find yourself becoming attached/devoted. to the only person who knows you still exist #like i mentioned for nosy its. theres lee there too now so its. a little different. it doesnt hit right away - the almost blind devotion.#but it still happens - over time - with the both of them. the last two people who for a time at least know you were even still living.#and its by the time ch2 rolls in for either cc/nosy its just. its so confusing to her. why they all bother returning then?#for cc its just. you all buried me in an empty box twenty years ago...you all moved on then. you accepted that. so why are you here now.#why are you re-opening wounds that shouldve been long buried - with that empty casket. why suddenly care now?#in nosy she suppresses it with her bitterness but cc i feel it comes out more like... grief & hurt. all over again. because if you came bac #20 yrs after the fact? then why DIDNT you return back then? why *now* and not then?#[ mf ] ── * 𝐇𝐂 / 𝐋𝐎𝐑𝐄. { maria. }#[ mf ] ── * 𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐄. { cold case. }#[ mf ] ── * 𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐄. { no one saved you. }#[ mf ] ── * 𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐄. { we saved us. }

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