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squeaksinc · 4 months

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2023 creative year in review! 💦💦

The most stand-out thing to mention was this was arguably my most active and productive cosplay year...maybe ever? its incredibly uncommon that I can handmake 9 costumes in a year, but on top of that, 7 of the 9 were also custom designs, which is pretty wild.

costume-wise, i learned a stupid amount of skills and really pushed what i was comfortable with. IMO the best from the year are the collector, knives, pupet, and nekomancer at least just from a craftsmanship perspective. I try not to brag or be an ass, but I am genuinely very proud of those. they posed fun creative challenges that kept me engaged, and I'm happy with how they turned out!

the other side of the coin is although last year was my most dormant cosplay year, other crafts were super active....and the reverse happened this year _(:3」∠)_ i didnt really draw much at all other than making cosplay designs, and other physical media didnt get much time to shine either. I made some plushies, but they were lackluster, and I think I made maybe one unfinished figure lol. but I did try BJD making and loved it!! I made 4 this year and have plans to do more haha.

thats the upbeat overview, the readmore is going to be a more negative perspective so proceed with caution haha.

More than anything I wish i had more time to do art and build up Stitch in The Ditch/more OC work, but honestly this year was also objectively insane in the non-creative front. like i hit the worst patch of chronic pain i've ever had/found out my abdominals have been ripping themselves apart and bleeding for the past 10 years lol/had to go to the hospital like THREE!!!! goddamn times and now i'm dealing with the news i'm going to need abdominal surgery, got a teaching promotion/award, got my physics masters, utterly INSANE family happenings, had gastroparesis for 2 months and couldnt eat more than 200 cal a day in that time which caused all my blood levels to crash and i'm still reeling from it, and of course, have just been Cashually working goddamn 60-80 hours a week in an experimental physics lab in the background during all of this which is driving me to the point of madness- suffice to say i hit my limit like months ago lmao.

like looking back i know i should be happy and proud i did so much but i cant help but feel disappointed and wishing i had done better quality stuff. honestly, i know i goof about how hard work is, but its really really getting to me. i've always been happy with my ability to juggle so many things and preserve my ability to have a cool job, make cool things, and independently take care of myself, but work is month-by-month morphing into more of a monster thats just been suffocating everything else out. I really dont know what next year will look like, as i've been wearing thinner and thinner i'm noticing a trend where I just dont have the energy that I used to to do anything outside of my job.

I bring this up because on paper I should be happy with what I made, but I still feel like im in a stand-still. I made a lot of costumes, but tbh they were low quality/lackluster. like the number went up, but the quality didnt and I couldnt do much of any other art things. I couldve, and shoulve, been able to make much better work this year than I did, but it didnt happen as a combo of being snuffed out by my job physically and mentally.

in 2023 I got a head start/built up momentum from the beginning of the year that carried me through when things got insane in spring/summer/currently, but I'm already starting 2024 from a low point. yall. im so tired. im so goddamn tired. like its funny to goof about how much I do but its catching up fast and i think this is going to be the year when I just cant keep up anymore. Its hard to talk about since the "being crushed to death by your job" topic isnt one people want to engage with, and unless you're experiencing it first hand its hard to understand what living like that really means.

for 2024, i know theres no way I will be able to match this same number of costumes, but my goal is no matter what I want to start making things that are more solid on a construction level. fewer projects, more polish. also doing more non-cosplay stuff like world building and dolls would also be awesome. will that happen??? lord only knows. honestly usually these predictions/goals go haywire but this is also more of a response to external things outside of my control so ???? ??????? we'll see lads

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bigpussysopranos · 8 days

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i wanted to write last saturday about campbells performance, how it was spring clarity &ease borne through effort (midwifed?) by opening and closing your eyes. i have been seeing so many cherry blossoms lately, i wanted to say how it was like a ballet or something, or water running over a sheet of glass that you can split and divert with your fingers but never stop, or cool polished quartz you can press your cheek against that makes you remember you are 99°f.

i am very glad i met her. i have trouble expressing myself to other people. i like using simple language because it is easier for me to say things that are true. i met her in october 2022 at her apartment. the apartment was set up like a cartoon femur, a long hallway with pockets of people on either end. in october 2022 i was 2 months out of a psychotic episode i hve never really fully healed from. i was paranoid and had forgotten how to relate to other people. i didnt plan to go, i had to write a paper and i was genuinely afraid of other people even though i wanted to be normal again so badly. however, my last minute costume was the joker so thats how she met me as. i think one time she said im like the youngest out of the 4 of us. i hope its not that im immature but that i was not really myself yet when i met all of you, but campbell the least of all. and that im still learning to be a person who can be close to other people and that im incalcuably grateful.

i admire a lot about campbell. i admire that she is a hard worker, even at the things she hates and are shitty to her. i admire that she is so open and connective. she is like a neuron that fires and hits everyone else and bursts into the web of impulse to go hang out. i would not be lucky enough to have the friends i have if i had never met her. the first time we met i did NOT help her clean up vomit even though i insincerely offered to (was not going to do that shit...) and she def saw right through it. and then we cried at attica -_-

i appreciate her so much but not in a way ive ever really vocalized. i like that she is such a hater (she's funny about it). i like that she is so open even though i still feel kind of alien about everything sometimes. she is so wonderful and talented and im so proud of her. watching her play was an honor. knowing that such a difficult time lead to the grace of the performance, looking around the room at everyone who was so proud of her and felt so special to be able to be there made me cry and i was NOT alone lol. shes a very loved person for good reason, shes wonderful and funny and epic and i hope she can see why everyones so proud. yayyy

#my second blogging moment ever probablZy #blogging

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reaperlight · 8 months

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[Written down immediately after waking up and edited somewhat for consistency and clarity]

I had a very cinematic detailed dream in which Eddie (and Venom) are working in a hospital as a nurse or emergency technician trainee under another name in another country and caught some shady goings on.

They see a patient was flat-lining but when trying to bring it to the attention of the hospital staff are told to ignore it.

It's too late to save the person but because this is all so shady Eddie takes a picture with their cellphone afterwards.

Eddie finds more shady goings on and takes more pictures.

Nurse, catching them doing it: I need to see your cell phone

Venom: Keep calm, play dumb.

Eddie: What phone?

Nurse, now with a gun: I wasn't asking

Assassins disguised as nurses tackle him.

Eddie escapes.

Nurse-assassin, impressed: Who are you, really?

Eddie: *[gives the boring fake name which he deliberately chose so people wouldn't look at them twice]*

Nurse assassin: Ewww, no thank you.

Eddie: Yeah you're not my type either

She shoots at him and he jumps out the window which is several stories up to escape and thanks to Venom sticks a superhero landing and keeps running.

***

They get to their car and find it's been obviously searched through.

The nurse-assassin and more mercenaries are chasing them

They get in the car even though they're afraid it might blow up or been tampered with.

There's a chase scene.

A metal song plays on the radio the singer screaming "sayonara you bad, bad boy" over and over to wailing electric guitars.

As they drive quickly and recklessly (and with assistance from tentacles when turning tight corners at high speeds) to lose their pursuers.

They drive until they think they've lost them.

After momentarily losing their pursuers...

Cleaning out the car of their few belongings they want to take with them and can fit in a backpack, checking them for bugs. Had to ditch the car, not only was it identifiable there might be a tracker in it.

Eddie sighing: You know we have to leave again. Start over somewhere else.

Venom: This was not my fault this time. I was good.

Eddie: I know, love. This is on me. I screwed up. Again.

Venom: I thought you did good Eddie. You tried to help someone. I'm very proud of you. Today we were a hero.

Eddie: Yeah right, I couldn't help anyone. Some hero.

Venom: You're MY hero.

They gather up their things, the car explodes behind them.

***

Eddie uploads the photos he took in the hospital to the Associated Press. He still might not know what all this was about but evidently these photos were worth trying to kill him over. He might not yet know the whole picture of what was going on but someone else might know who this is or be able to connect the dots. Also the Life Foundation was involved, even if they changed their name, and they were killing people so that was like obviously not good.

Eddie and Venom download their honeymoon photos and then ditch their old phone too in case they were tracking them that way.

***

Eddie was in his work scrubs when the chase began and has to quickly change into new clothes.

Venom takes the form of a black leather jacket with a white spider on the sleeve reminiscent of that spider-guy from that weird dream they had in Tiajuana. Venom hadn't liked the spider guy (which was weird, Eddie hadn't understood the vitriol since it was just some kid in a Halloween costume) but they had thought the design was kinda cool and they made their own version of it.

***

At some point temporarily getting captured by the bad guys and drugged but Venom is offsetting some of the effects.

Venom: Don't give them your name. Or our name.

Eddie: I know.

Venom: Don't use our friends' names either.

Eddie: I know.. Despite what you clearly think I am not a total idiot.

Interrogator, shouting: What is your name!

Eddie: ...It's Kasady. Cletus Kasady.

Venom: ...Eddie... I hate to tell you this but I think you ARE an idiot.

Eddie, intimidates his captors while Venom recovers. Stares at him unblinking, lowers his voice. Mimicking mannerisms from both Venom and Kasady to try and intimidate and throwing in a bad attempt at a southern accent which nearly ruins the effect.

Eddie: If you haven't heard of me you might wanna look me up. When I get out of here, and I will. I'm gonna. Eat. Your. Face. They will never find your body. And it's gonna be like total carnage.

The attempt at intimidation isn't as convincing as he would like initially because he sounds like he's bluffing until Venom makes a snarling sound in his throat which makes the interrogators stumble back.

Eddie: What are you doing?

Venom: Helping because I don't think they were falling for it.

They escape again...

Venom: So what exactly were you hoping to achieve by convincing them that you are a cannibalistic serial killer?

Eddie: In my defense I was drugged at the time and we couldn't exactly show all our cards then. I was just trying to get them to back off.

Venom: Yeah well I'd say that didn't work.. at all.

They believe he is Kasady now because that was so audacious that no one would believe he was lying.

Venom: I thought you had some sense knocking around in that grey matter of yours. And how do you plan to make them think we are Kasady when we already killed him?

Eddie: Well plastic surgery is a thing.

Venom: Eddie, no. You are not cutting your perfect face.

Eddie: ...I mean maybe they'll think Kasady faked his death and is running around with a new face... wait did you just say...?

Venom, embarrassed: ...Or maybe they'll just think you're an idiot!

Eddie, huffy: ...Parasite.

Venom: Take that back!

***

Feral Eddie takes down a couple of assassins by himself while Venom is still recovering/combating the effects of the drugs.

Eddie: Not bad for an idiot.

Venom: Of course, because you're MY idiot.

***

Meanwhile...

Cletus and Frances who were living an anonymous quiet life are none too pleased that they're names are back in the news.

Frances was alive under the bell, the stress and rage if the situation allowing her to consciously access her full psychic powers and telekinetically push it off (crushing the cops who come after them).

Frances hadn't been aware of it but she and Cletus had forged a psychic bond as children. Cletus was brought back to life by both Carnage (whose cells of which still remained in his corpse regrowing his head and Frances restoring his memories / personality. But he's not back a hundred percent. He didn't really remember the murders he was supposed to have committed but everyone but Carnage figures thats probably for the best.

He would prefer to live a peaceful life with his wife (and their companion) but of course would do it again if they took her again.

Later they come to Eddie's rescue.

After Eddie and Venom get caught and are being tortured.

They kill the room to save him

Carnage: I don't understand why you're bothering. They ate your head we should return the favor.

Cletus: Leave it.

Cletus: Eddie... oh Eddie. We tried to tell you but you never listened. That's okay... I guess you're learning now.

Eddie: ...What?

Frances tells them about Ravencroft and the camps.

Later...

Cletus: Eddie... we get it you don't wanna be pals but if you could keep our old name out of it in the future, that would be great. We would greatly appreciate it.

Carnage: If you hurt them again--

Cletus: Down girl.

***

As for the shady stuff going on at the hospital and the company formerly known as the Life Foundation, vampires are somehow involved--the expensive experimental drugs either turns the patient into a vampire or it kills them but either way flat-lining is a normal part of the procedure...

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sumire-no-nikki · 7 months

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Bad Apple

When I was in sixth grade my teacher ordered the class to form a circle. We were to play a game, she said. A student must volunteer to go in the middle, pick one classmate after naming one good thing about them to save them from the “sinking ship.” The one who has been saved will then pay the favour forward and save another student, and so the chain shall continue.

I’m saving this person because they’re really good at math.

I’m saving this person because they share their lunch with me.

I’m saving this person because I think they’re cool.

The game went on in between giggles and teasing and applause.

In the end, after a minute or so of awkward silence in a room that wants nothing to do with me, I was the last one to be chosen. A kind classmate eventually took on the task of being the one to get it over with, and so the whole activity was concluded. It was an exercise of emulating Jesus’ kindness, apparently, to not only save oneself but to also think of others during a time of crisis. I wonder if anyone realised later on that their kindness was in fact cruelty. I wonder if that teacher understood the violence she incited that day. The classmate who chose me was praised for her initiative and self sacrifice in being the one to do it. My teacher and the rest of the class certainly looked pleased with themselves for that display of "Christian goodness"—the very same people who ostracised me, the very same people who deemed me a nonentity because I'm "weird," because I’m "annoying." Because I spoke my mind. Because I simply wouldn’t let myself be swept by their hive mentality.

When I was fifteen, summertime, I caught the flu and it led to a middle ear infection. After a few nights of trying to bear the pain (because my instinct told me to hide the pain rather than inconvenience my parents) I couldn’t stand it anymore and told them that something’s wrong with my ear. My mother took me to the doctor and scolded me because, in agreement with my father, I was costing them an unnecessary expense.

Why did I have to get a middle ear infection, my mother complained. Why didn’t I just take care of myself better so I wouldn’t have developed an infection.

A couple of weeks after that illness, we boarded the plane for a holiday. My ear, having just healed from an infection was still quite sensitive. The altitude made it hurt. When I told my mother this she said, well, you’ll just have to bear it because you decided to have a middle ear infection.

I am a bad apple. I am the rotten one of the bunch. I get tossed in the trash, I don’t get chosen. I’m not pretty, I’m not special. I’m not particularly interesting and I don’t belong anywhere.

As I got older, I think I simply learned how to dress my rottenness up. I just learned how to fit in different costumes. I studied really hard in high school and suddenly found myself getting praised left and right. My parents were finally proud of me. I wasn’t a burden anymore. I quickly learned that this is how I could become a person worth looking at. This is the strategy, I thought, to work hard at adorning myself with achievements, to spray as much perfume over the rotten smell.

The same classmates who shunned me were the same ones to ask if they could come to my house so I could tutor them before the Algebra finals, the same ones who asked for my Biology notes as they showered me with compliments. I was no longer the black sheep of the family. I finally had something on the cousins I was constantly compared to. I was deemed the smart one, and that makes up for not being the pretty feminine one.

In adulthood all this meant doing all the work, covering for coworkers despite my already congested schedule, never saying no. If I couldn’t produce perfection in every aspect, then I’ve exposed my rottenness and people would withdraw any respect for me. If I let the side down, then I deserved it because I didn’t do my part in making myself palatable.

It also meant that I have become a person utterly incapable of forming any relationship. When someone tells me they like my photos, or that they think I’m impressive for what I’ve accomplished, or that my insight on something is illuminating, I appreciate it. But there is always doubt. Whenever anyone tries to befriend me I am wary, I am suspicious. Perhaps they only want to befriend me because they think I’m of use. Whatever that purpose may be, I am only as good as what I can offer. Because, well, why would anyone want me? And if they didn’t know that I’m a bad apple yet, when they come to see me as I am, why would they still choose me?

And who’s to blame? Who can I blame but myself?

I am a bad apple. While I’ve done well to make myself look a little better, the truth is I am unlovable. At the core I am still rotten. This fact ebbs and flows in my mind constantly. There are good days and I’m content in being a pretender. Then there are days when I can’t see past my ugliness.

(There's no resolution to this. Really, I don't know how to end this. I started typing this one day when the repressed memories of that sinking ship game in sixth grade popped up in my head but I'm not sure there's much insight to it other than it fucking hurts. I want to face it but I also know this isn't a Disney movie. I won't be the beast that would suddenly turn into a prince. It would be disingenuous of me to say "well, screw all of them! I'm so much happier now!" because I'm not, really. I'm fine, I suppose. I'm not that girl anymore, but I'll also never be someone who had a good childhood. I'll never be someone who had loving parents. I can't turn back the clock. I'll never be someone other than myself and it hurts a lot to think about that reality.)

#diary #sumire-no-nikki

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hoperays-song · 9 months

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Sing 1 Commentary and Review Pt. Final!!

Welcome back to the madness loves!!! Also, I tried to tone down the commentary so I get further in the movie this time. Is this an elaborate plan to distract me from my fic being with my beta reader? Yes! Am I using it for content? Also yes! Enjoy!

This is mainly just the performances this time but it's the last one!!

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Ok, when the curtains open you can hear all of Rosita's kids cheering for their mom and it's so cute I swear.

Also, they built this entire set in ONE AFTERNOON?!?! That's just impressive mate. Like seriously impressive.

Coolest on stage costume change in the series and I will stand by that. The lights and everything? Perfection.

Mike puntable moments counter: 35

The piglets immediately swarming Rosita because they liked the show and to hug her is just... so sweet. I love them.

Also love the immediate havoc they start causing backstage.

Before going on Johnny does a few bouncing steps like boxers do before fights and I can't believe I never noticed that before.

Ok ok ok, I know I've mentioned that Johnny's story can easily be read as a queer allegory but he's literally playing a song known for being a queer liberation song that was written by a queer British singer.

And the people who would likely pick up on that? His British family. Just saying. Elton John is pretty famous after all.

Our favourite supportive uncles!!!! <3

Look at Marcus in this moment. He's seeing his son that he's apparently had no contact with in weeks doing what he loves and is good at, existing healthy and happy and in a much better place physically than he is. He's happy for him. He's happy for him because he loves his kid.

And then we get to see him panic because he messed up and he misses his kid and wants to fix things. He wants to tell him how proud he is. So he decided to fix it in his own way. Is that way legal? No. But should that surprise us? Also no.

Stan and Barry being supportive brothers in the background. I love them, they're so silly.

Girlboss moment. <3

Also, new guitar!

Excuse me you two, I was vibing, why are you here?

Lance puntable moments counter: 32

Becky puntable moments counter: 4

So... Ash is amazing. Just straight up. She's awesome.

Marcus's smile when he realizes he's about to see his son again. I'm sobbing.

Gunter and Rosita are me rn I swear.

Also, this is on live tv Mike, a gang wants you dead, not your smartest decision in this movie and that's a low bar to trip over mate.

Mike puntable moments counter: 34

THE HUG. THE HUG Y'ALL. I SWEAR, YOU'RE CRYING NOT ME.

But the way Marcus hugs Johnny like he's the most precious thing and the world and is scared to break him has me in a chokehold rn. Like one of those hugs and I'm 100% sure all my problems will be solved.

"I'M SO PROUD OF YOU." 😭😭😭😭

Nancy, come rescue you idiot boyfriend. Also, Mike's performance was only so visually cool because of the helicopter so I'm deducting performance points.

Mike puntable moments counter: 35

They're both so awkward, I love them. <3

Mike. Stop. Bullying. A. Literal. Child.

Mike puntable moments counter: 45

The cute thing here is Eddie picked all the stage hand stuff up from Meena apparently so he's helping out his former mentor and I just think that's sweet.

I love how everyone who showed up just completely are vibing with every song, no matter the tempo, mood, or genre. They're just supporting the singers whole heartedly.

Also, why is like every gorilla in the crowd wearing beanies? It's only the gorillas. What's with the beanies?

Awww, they look so happy!!

And with that, all the troupe's problems (and Eddie's inheritance) are gone!

Nana looks like a cat being held and loved against her will.

I love this movie. I so love this movie. <3

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Ok! So that took way longer than planned. But Next I get to watch a ton of shorts!!!

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partyinthemysterymachine · 9 months

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(design ask anon) Thanks for answering. It was cool to learn but I'm kind of confused now if they're so different why not make them original characters? I read a bit of your fic and it seems like its that way there too. What makes them be Harry and James if they're so different now? Sorry if it's blunt questions and thanks again. Hope you have a good day

chinhands.

anon. come here. come here come goooood and close and let me put my arm around you.

now, a lot of people might not like hearing this!! but i’m gonna letcha in on something, something that is the honest truth:

the moment that someone in fandom touches a character that isn’t theirs to do something with them - such as write a fanfic, draw some silly comics - they automatically become something of an original character.

you know why?

because the character isn’t theirs.

every single fanartist who has at all gone off the beaten track on character design, has ever made canonical story tweaks, made them trans, made them a different sexuality from canon, aged up or aged down, given different costumes, portrayed them with disorders not explicitly stated in canon, switched race, etc, has created an original character with origin elements in canon character.

every single fanfic author who has at all gone off the beaten track on character design, has ever made canonical story tweaks, made them trans, made them a different sexuality from canon, aged up or aged down, given different costumes, portrayed them with disorders not explicitly stated in canon, switched race, etc, has created an original character with origin elements in canon character.

and so what if they are?

[heather voice] so. what?

none of us own the rights to silent hill. none of us were there when the concept and game and stories were created. this is fan work. we create fan creations. we put our own spin on it! that’s why headcanons are called headcanons.

our fan versions of characters are automatically an AU. they are automatically original characters with elements of, and roots in [insert fandom here] because we literally cannot create anything 100% canon.

it’s impossible. you cannot create anything 100% canon because you do not own the character or the franchise, and thus you cannot safely say that they would say, do, or wear that, interact with x y z that way, go there first, do that last, react to that event that way, think that way, etc - and call it 100% canon.

what i’ve created is Harry Mason and James Sunderland. i have in the past often called them “my” Harry and James as distinguishers, and i know others in fandom do this with their own iterations as well.

and they are still Harry Mason and James Sunderland.

so i’ll be brave!! and i’ll thump my chest and i’ll say it loud and proud!!!!:

Harry Mason James Sunderland, Heather Mason, Douglas Cartland, and all others within GOOMT and all AUs besides are all my original characters with core elements and inspiration based in Konami Entertainment’s Silent Hill franchise.

and so is everyone else’s.

and good for them. :)

just try to have fun in fandom! because otherwise you’re gonna feel stifled, discourage other people from having fun and being creative, or even yourself! whether or not someone acknowledges canon, “acknowledges” that they made an original character with elements, goes far off the beaten path of what anyone feels is “acceptable” to still make that character “that character”, etc — not your business.

it literally does not matter.

are you enjoying the content?? yes? GREAT! stick around we got coffee and cookies and a whole bunch of fun activities planned!! are you not enjoying it? no? well thanks for stopping by, you have my card, take a water for your travels but don’t loiter.

the canon hasn’t left. i am not demanding anyone call my ideas canon. i’m not expecting anyone to find it gospel. i don’t want that anyway. if you don’t like it it’s fine; the canon is still there.

it’s okay.

at the very, very core of it all, it’s best and wise to remember:

who cares.

#ches writes #goomt

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best-fnaf-song-competition · 10 months

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As of me sending this ask, A Pizza The Action is at 44.1% and I Can't Fix You is at 55.9%

A Pizza The Action is losing </3 so here's my propaganda >:]

I myself am a big TLT fan! I love their old songs, covers, remixes, and even TLT's newer songs! (Discord, September, Epoch, My Ordinary Life, Druck and all just a few faves that immediately come to mind for me) And AS a big TLT fan. I don't want the next round to be 3 TLT songs. I definitely don't want the finale to be ALL TLT songs

Also?? A Pizza The Action is SO SO good. It's so so good please go watch and listen to it.The production quality?! The Talent?! The Music Video?! The song itself?! It all SO GOOD

(And then listen to more Stupendium songs that aren't Fnaf bc they all slap. I love their Poppy Playtime song and I don't even like Poppy Playtime. The songs. And the costumes!! It's all so good it's so so good oh my gosh (other Stupendium songs I enjoy are The Most Fashionable Faction, What A Fowl Day, and sometimes I listen to the horror holiday songs for silly fun. And!! Android Hell Blues! Which doesn't seem to be on their channel but was written and composed by the Stupendium. Man I absolutely adore that one)

OK ok back to A Pizza The Action-

A PIZZA THE ACTION IS ONLY 9 MONTHS OLD!!! EVERY OTHER FNAF SONG LEFT IN THIS COMPETITION RANGES FROM 6-8 YEARS OLD!!!! A Pizza The Action is completely nostalgia free babey, so I'm always really proud of its progress as i know its something people aren't just voting for bc it's a familiar friend :,]

Additional notes:

1: I think it'd be really fucking cool if A Pizza The Action vs Fnaf 1 was the finale. Imagine. I wouldn't even care who won it'd be so fun

2: Sorry I keep insulting I Can't Fix You, I don't actually mind it all that much, but it killed alot of my faves, and I genuinely do feel like nostalgia has been affecting the votes for it (I think thats whats happening for pretty much any song that's 6+ years old so yknow) (don't take me seriously) (I'm just willing to die on really small hills) (and I love hating things) (I Can't Fix You is real good tho when I'm in the mood for it)

Additional propaganda (if A Pizza The Action wins)

1: More cat and kitten pictures

2: I'll show yall pics of my room which I have been working for awhile to paint like a fnaf location. I should have a floor by the time this poll is over (hopefully)

3: (bonus) I will Draw Cosmo and Circus Baby hanging out. I don't draw animatronics all that often so I can't promise much, but I will try my very best

Closing Notes: Music good. And goodnight

Okay at this point everyone has to vote a pizza the action just from the sheer amount of art people have offered to make if it wins oh my GOD

We respect artists in this house!!! Stupendium puts their whole heart into everything!!! If you didn't vote for a pizza the action please go appreciate the art that is the video and song itself because holy shit holy shit holy shit

Also! While we're talking about the other bangers they've made! My personal favorites are Find The Keys (it took me ages to realize the title was a pun and I'm an animator), The Fine Print (I don't even know the source material, the lyrics here just go Hard), and Why Did I Say Okie Doki? (HOW DO THEY SO PERFECTLY MATCH THE STYLE OF THE GAME WHEN MAKING VIDEOS also the song just slaps)

#stupendium if youre listening i love you #not a poll #ask #darling-dolly-darlene #totally forgot that you mentioned in the tags to remind you if you didnt send this as an ask #first of all thats my bad sorry #second of all 🥺 called by name in the tags? hello? friend?

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jasperakalucy · 1 year

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hello, gamers, comrades, foes, freaks, losers, gay people, and cowboys,

welcome to the Best Answer Awards of the RTumblr Secret Santa 2022 Google Form!!!

no you don’t win anything and I’m not saying who said what. because this is my award show and I make the rules

Question 1: tumblr username: and the best answer is........... “jasperakalucy”! because I am based

Question 2: are you. interested in this: “no. i am just here to watch. do not give me a gift. i'm just filling out the quiz for fun” someone actually put this and i was so unbelieving that i forced them to join /hj

Question 3: how active are you on rtumblr/are you new (can pick multiple): “I did something of value once and never again. One day I will return and you will all regret forgetting me” mysterious! i love it!

Question 4: what kind of art can you do? (can pick multiple): “i can kill you over and over again in minecraft” that is an art and I’m so proud of you

Question 5: what do you plan on giving as your gift? (elaborate on above question): “Whatever the person desires. I cannot however: Make anybody fall in love, kill somebody, bring somebody back to life. I will most likely write or draw.” damn. poetic honorary mention: “The most important gift: friendship And a piece of carrot”

Question 6: do you have a c!self (can pick multiple): “girl help his face is my fucking pfp his look is straight up just 'onceler’” girl help indeed, why would you ever want to be like the onceler /hj

Question 7: if you answered yes then drop your c!self explanation (image upload at end): “It is literally just me as a rat with no roleplay or lore or anything, I hope this appeases the rumblr tumblrs (/pos)” the rumblr tumblrs joke is funny every time. i still think about the time i called RTgodot rumble tumble gumble

Question 8: what is. your gift prefernece (for your gifter to gift to you) (can pick multiple): a solid 50% of you told me i spelled prefernece wrong. i am still amused by this

9: what is your number 1 preference gift this one’s boring SKIP

10: elaborate on above (give as many details as you want. literally go buckwild) (this will be sent to your gifter): “I don’t have specific preferences I just think rt’s cool:) do whatever your heart commands of you, take artistic liberties, feel the rain on your skin” the person in number 5 and this one are the same brain and i love that for them honorary mentions: “[taps on microphone] magistrex” “Draw whatever you want. Just draw. Draw something. I would like a civet/dog. why isn't my four key working”

11: would you rather post all of this art or send it privately? BORING SKIP

12: STILL BORING

13: AAAAAAAAAA

14: questions comments concerns: “you people seem insane but that's okay, who *isnt* in the RT fandom. I'll draw anything exept from magical john in a maid outfit or a bunny costume. i hate that little freak of nature” the fact that your hatred of magical john came so quickly out of nowhere made me laugh. you’re right, he is a freak of nature honorary mention: “gay gay homosexual gay. can i call you jasper? or aka...i like aka. unless you don't like it.” yes you can call me aka that sounds rad as fuck

(also people were very nice to me in this question and i do appreciate that)

AND FINALLY THE FREE SPACE QUESTION

15: free space. copy and paste the bee movie for all i care: “i have a homophobic slur to say!” I have not stopped thinking about this since it happened. you sound so excited. you never said the slur. you just said you were going to, and then left it. why? i laughed out loud when i read this the first time. what the hell does it mean? is it the f slur? is it a fun new slur you made up? what the fuck! in my memory this had a “:D” next to it, and that’s how i read it in my head. I literally know your username. I’ve never talked to you. what is going on inside your head? i love you. you really have guts. in questions comments concerns you said “do it fart” and only now have i realized that was a question, and not a command, calling me a fart. thank you for giving me such joy and confusion. i will never forget this.

honorary mentions: two different copypastas that reference al-qaeda two different meows (“meow” and “nya”) two different people saying i should not encourage bee movie posting (cowards/lh) one “according to all known laws of aviation,” one secret code from the “schrodingers cat” who ended up dropping (“9 1/13 14/15/20 23/8/15 9 19/1/25 9 1/13”) some screams (“WAAHAHJHKKK EAWERRRRWW WWEEEEEE”) a funny joke (“[insert funny joke.mp4]”) and of course

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#long post #if you have shorten long posts turned off i'm sorry #embrace magistrex #anyway i was bored and made this. enjoy #rtumblr #rtumblr secret santa

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aclulessidiot · 9 months

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Barbie hit a cord with me. Going into the movie I didn’t expect anything I expected a good movie with commentary and for the most part that’s what I got but the scene that just dug into me was when the daughter makes Barbie cry. When Barbie started crying I started crying. Because I realized I was that little girl. I used to love Barbie I have all her movies on dvd, I loved pink and glitter, and frilly dresses. I wanted to be Barbie. I dreamed about being a beautiful girl in a ball gown and makeup. Hell my favorite movie was the three musketeers and I asked my grandma if she could sew the costume from the film. I remember she took me to Joan’s we picked out fabric and embellishments. I even sketched the dress for her and I wore that thing all the time, I made a mask too. But when I grew up people always looked down on ‘girly girls’. Girls who wore skirts and dresses and did anything feminine. I looked down on myself as a child because I felt like being feminine was wrong. Like I wasn’t cool enough because of it. So when I was 13 I remember vividly hating everything feminine. I even dunked on Barbie. I told people I hated the color pink that I hated glitter. I gaslit myself into believing it. And all of it came out in that scene because to me it felt like I was the one making Barbie cry. Knowing that if she had heard what I had said would have done that hurt me. Because deep down I love her and everything she was. And I think that is what is so different about this movie. Is it covered things that were so integrated into my being as someone who was born a woman. Things I’ve been too scared of talking about or thinking about because I’m scared to think of my gender and what it means for me and how I am. Today I got to dress up like the princess I wanted to be as a little girl, I got to be something that little girl would be proud of. And all of it was just because of a trend for this movie. I did not expect to come out of this movie grateful. But I am. I am grateful for this movie being made and to the writers and dicrector and all the creatives behind it who did. This has changed a lot for me. And showed me that I didn’t kill that little girl that she is still in there no matter what happens in my life. Even when I don’t feel like a woman. She’s there and maybe she’s even proud of me.

#barbie #barbie movie #I’m Ken-ough #trans pride #genderfluid #female #woman #childhood #I’m making myself cry #I hope this helps someone else out there

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trythatagainnn · 6 months

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halloween is the anniversary of my coming out at trans.

my “traniversary” as i like to call it.

this year,

itll be five years.

i was 12 years old.

i came out in middle school.

i was the only trans kid i knew of in my school.

i had no support.

my friends accepted me,

i think,

pretty quickly.

but they didnt support me.

there was no,

“im proud of you!”

“im happy you told me this.”

there was a lot of

“…okay”s

and sidelong glances.

i think you dont realize what that does to you

until five years later.

at the time,

i had one queer friend.

she was bi.

we dated,

whatever two 12 year olds dating looks like

(we held hands at recess).

later, she came out as a lesbian,

and i came out as gay.

its funny.

we stopped talking after eighth grade.

i dont really know why.

i have a lot of queer friends now.

all of them are, actually.

queer, i mean.

im not dating any of them.

mostly because,

after i came out as gay,

i came out as aro/ace.

thatll do it.

not that aro/ace people cant date,

or fuck,

or whatever.

i just. dont want. that.

sometimes i kind of wish i did.

i think.

i wonder what its like to really enjoy that.

but.

whatever.

anyway.

i heard someone say once that

after you come out once,

it never ends.

i think thats true.

ill never stop coming out as trans.

isnt that what im doing right now?

and ill never stop figuring out new things about myself.

also, i think maybe thats not true.

sometimes, people just know.

i dont have to tell them.

and sometimes,

when i tell people,

its not coming out.

it just is.

maybe thats what finding the right people is.

it just is.

halloween isnt really it, by the way. the anniversary.

sorry.

that wouldve been cool right?

yeah.

i lied.

i dont know when it actually is.

sometime in november, i think.

maybe december?

on halloween of 2018,

i was still a girl.

i was wearing a very large and annoying inflatable ostrich costume

(you know the type

where it makes you look like

youre riding on the ostrich’s back?).

it was a last minute buy from spirit halloween.

i got tired of it.

i took it off,

and i put on a tie

over my grey wolf t-shirt.

i put on a tie,

and i told everyone i was a man.

of course, they didnt believe me.

i think they laughed.

i felt great.

thats not when i came out.

maybe thats when i knew, though.

to be honest,

i dont care that much.

i dont get emotional on halloween,

most of the time i dont even think about it.

its more of a convenient way of keeping track

of the passage of time

than anything.

im still trans, yeah.

this year on halloween,

im still trans.

ive changed though.

ive changed

names and

ive changed

my hair and

ive changed

how i act and

how i think and

who i am and

ive changed.

five years this halloween,

thats a lot.

maybe.

maybe its not

that much at all.

in another five years,

ill be 22,

and ill still be trans.

and ill be different.

happy halloween.

happy five years.

happy passage of time.

heres a little monologue poem thing about being trans

#poetry #prose #my writing #writing #my art #art

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a-snowpoff · 2 years

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just stumble across your blog and oh my god your sans cosplay is the coolest thing i've ever seen. makes me wanna get back into cosplaying and making stuff

DO IIIIIT! HAVE SOME FUN! MAKE SOME COSPLAY! ENJOY THE JOURNEY OF CREATING AND WEARING THE COSPLAY!!!!!

Seriously though, cosplaying was something I always wanted to do but struggled to find the motivation to start or finish a costume. Like I once modified a clothing pattern to create an accurate replica of Misty's top from Pokemon Let's Go: Pikachu. I had even considered seeing if I could get access to a laser cutter to burn the wavy print onto a pair of jean shorts but alas, after making the top I got self-conscious about wearing a crop top and ended that cosplay journey dfjkgsdkfjgsd In another instance, I wanted to make a Portal 2, P-body cosplay and I heard all the cool cosplayers would shape foam so I went to my local craft store to get said foam. I had no idea what I was looking for so instead of getting something like EVA foam I got... floral foam! Which is... very VERY crumbly and oh boy did I make a MESS, hahahahah. After sculpting the floral foam into one hip plate I just peaced out, I could tell I was using the wrong kind of foam and I had no idea where to get the proper kind or how to work with it. I still think about doing a P-body cosplay from time to time though... I do have the P-Body Portal Gun that ThinkGeek sold way back when so at least I wouldn't have to make that part of the costume.

In my early early early days of cosplay, I would try getting a costume online or just throwing together some clothes haphazardly and saying I was a.... "pokemon trainer" hahaha. One time I carried around a giant Pikachu plush with me, and found a group of people in a circle tossing around a tiny Pikachu plush. They were all very excited when I asked to throw my Pikachu into the tossing ring.

Sorry, I kinda rambled there but I wanted to say THANK YOU! I am incredibly proud of how the cosplay turned out and honestly... the challenge to make the best Sans cosplay was a ridiculously fun and motivating challenge that pushed me this far. Still comical to me that it took a Papyrus fan to make a Sans cosplay at this level. Decided to go with Sans because I'm super short but you know what? I wanna aim to make a Papyrus cosplay next and I have ideas on how to get that extra height... though I may rope a family member into dressing as Papyrus, heheh.

#ask snowpoff #snowpoff talks #cosplay

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risereigncorp · 1 year

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Lena observe her phone screen for long. It was strange Sam haven’t even visit her office today. She was tempted to go to Sam’s office to see if she was busy or if she needed help. Which would be even stranger. She swung her chair side to side a couple times quirking a brow when a bubbly personality came by, like fresh air.

"There you are!"

"What are you wearing Kara?" She point out seeing her best friend wearing something like this cheap Racoon City uniform she could recognize after the movie night she had to watch to understand Ruby’s new hobby

"It’s Halloween. Why aren’t you wearing something?"

Lena look down to herself "I am pretty dressed, thank you" she replies staring up

"noooo. I mean… dress"

"I’m not naked and I am wearing a pretty decent suit, don’t you think?"

"Yes you look pretty"

"Thank you"

"It’s so cool many people has come wearing costumes today"

"It was Sam’s idea…" Lena shake her head thoughtful "I haven’t seen her today"

"Uhm… yeah because-" The blonde reporter huff shaking her head with half smile trying to not roll her eyes "Anyway… You haven’t reply to the invitation" she noticed her best friend frowning clueless "Ruby’s house of terror? She invited all her friends of the school. Sam was showing us all the decorations?"

"When did that happen?"

"Before you leave because your mother called I think? And then you had to go?"

Lena did a quick review of the previous steps of the day before and the realization hit her "Oh fuck…"

"What?!"

"She asked the day off… she asked for the day off?"

"Yes?" Kara open and closed her mouth seeing Lena standing up starting to pick up her coat, her phone "Where are you going?"

"You mean Where are WE going. And the answer is back to my place"

"But we are totally going to Sam’s, right?"

"Yes. But first I have to change my suit to something… Halloween"

Kara laugh fun seeing her best friend almost run out of the office

Sam checked the lights table switching some colors and the stroboscopic light which she wasn’t a hundred percent to use. Just in case. It was almost 18:00. Kids were already out in their candy hunt door by door. Ruby this year because this House of Terror was beyond excited staying home. Sam heard steps coming closer and turn around

"Do you think I’m scary enough mom?"

"I’ve never been so proud to make a zombie"

Ruby chuckle happy "I have to bite these pills just when people come over, right?" She show her hand full of fake blood pills

"Yes Ribs, but remember just one at the time"

"This is so awesome!" She sighs happy and turn around when the door bell rang "that might be aunt Alex!" The girl move fast to open the door "Raaaaaawwwwghhhhhhh" she grunt the moment she open the door

Alex jolt "oh lord… Ribs?"

Sam laugh hard seeing the two "Hi there!"

"Hi Alex!"

"I would hug you, but I don’t want to ruin your-" Alex point the girl up and down "-All. This is amazing"

"Mom did it all" Ruby adds feeling proud seeing Alex nod impress "Your bites look so cool"

"I mean is not that awesome like your make up but Thank you, it was really hard to set all these prosthesis"

"You could have asked for help"

"I wanted to but I know you were going to be super busy with all these" Alex pointed around to the house "And you are not even ready"

"Yeah, I know" Sam did her best showing a soft smile "Lena was supposed to help but I think she had something back at L-Corp so… it’s okay"

"Mom, Lena would never let us down"

Sam smile soft nodding "I know. Go get ready a few candy bowls, okay? We are about to start this"

"Okay mom"

"Thank you, baby girl" Sam sigh deep seeing her go

Alex feeling a little bit awkward "Are you okay?"

"I am yes, ppppffftttt, I totally am… why do you ask?"

"Because I know you and you are not?"

Sam roll her eyes "I am going to change my clothes. There’s soda and sparkling water cool in the bowls of the middle of the table if you want. And… Can you help Ruby?

"I will" Alex scratch her arm and swear in silence because she messed up with one of these biting marks

Lena stop the car wearing her earpiece "Team 1, surround the house. Team two deploy in group of two by the entrance"

"Okay this is over the top" Kara confirm "This look so badass"

"Thank you for changing the costume to match"

"Are you kidding? I think I could go offering private soldier services wearing this" Kara compliment on the clothes seeing how a black van stop next to help releasing actors dressed as zombies already in the character scaring some kids and adults passing by "did you really hire private security guys to -portrait- the team?"

"Sam wanted to make this as cool and scary possible. And I totally forgot, and I feel awful and I think I am over compensating but I swear Kara if I ruin Ruby’s first Halloween party is going to be bad"

"Don’t feel bad, come on"

Ruby pour more candies with mini chocolate bars into the bowls and almost drop one when a zombie started to hit on the window "Mom!"

Alex enter the kitchen with empty hands after drop a couple things in the dinning room "Ribs"

The young girl started to walk back holding tight the bowl against her "Alex…" she call seeing another zombie join the other as other two come along scratching the window grunting and making noises

"Holy f… come here, Ribs" Alex slowly put Ruby behind her "These… might be… actors… yeah… zombies… do not… exist" she slowly say seeing men in. Tactical suits shoot to the zombies with… paintballs

"Alex what’s going on?"

"I’m not sure" the doorbell rang again and she turn around to make Ruby walk with her "Let’s open the door"

#a mini Halloween #reigncorp #part 1

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certified-bi · 1 year

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I saw Aladin both on the Disney Wish, and the traveling Broadway tour. Here are my thoughts.

(I structured these using the Aristotle elements of tragedy. Yes I know that they aren't meant to apply to a comedy as a rule. I also am aware that I didn't use them in the way Aristotle did. That's on purpose. My theatre history/dramaturgy professor loves using these six areas as a way to break down western theatre plays. So it's my default. And I'm on vacation so I'm not going to use them in the proper scholar way. Not sorry)

Cruise:

Plot - Highlights. This show was a cut version and was more an abridged music show.

Character - The characters didn't really move the Plot. They felt very simple but still relatable and fun.

Theme(thought) - The theme of staying true to yourself honestly shined the most in this one only because the genie, carpet, and Aladin relationship was very well built into the story. Made it stick.

Language(diction) - Very casual. Light air.

Rhythm(song/music) - For its shortness it still flowed well and felt pretty good in terms of story beats.

Spectacle - Excellent. They had one puppet for Iago. Limited set but they let that budget go to props and costumes which felt nice if a bit cartoonie. They had those not fireworks during genie's song which was great. The carpet was like a scissor lift for the flying scene. Very cool. Actually all of the Genie song was great and the costumes for Prince Alli were great with the back up dancers as the peacocks.

Extra stuff -

This show had the carpet as an acrobat in a onesie like outfit. His nonverbal expressions were outstanding and he did trick the entire time. Like I cannot express how much joy he brought me. I'd watch a full length play or movie about the character. His actor was that good.

The relationship between Jasmine and Aladin was... fine. It wasn't for a lack of chemistry or acting but they had limited time. Although the genie Aladin and carpet Trio was great. Top tier.

Aladin's prince costume ripped off when Jafar exposed him. This was a nice call back that I really liked to the movie. Keeping the magic with practice effects.

Also the lamp peddler was a different character than genie and they cast a woman(she played Ursla the night before for little mermaid) so she did the intro and had cameos throughout. Mainly this was because the genie was blue, unlike in the Broadway version, so it had to be two different people. But it worked and she did magnificent job. The entire cast did to be honest.

Broadway

Plot - It was pretty alright. Stayed mostly true to the movie while changing things. The action flowed nicely and made sense. Nothing felt jarring.

Character - The characters definitely pushed the plot more. Abu and the carpet were replaced by three guys... and I have mixed feelings. They weren't bad, but they also didn't need to be there. I think having to devolp three sidekicks took more time from the show than it was worth personally. That being said they were fun characters.

Theme(thought) - More developed on Aladin's part, but it struggled with being torn between focus.

Language(diction) - Much more dignified than the cruise if that makes sense. Less casual outside of the market place.

Rhythm(song/music) - The story flowed well and besides a few songs dragging this area had great marks.

Spectacle - They leaned less flashy pizzazz in parts. Still a Spectacle I promise, just a little more focused on glitter than effects. The magic tricks were cool but simplistic. Felt a little lacking. Like the costumes were amazing but it felt like a focus was put on finery in that area and not overall effect. A great time just a bit whelming.

Extra thoughts -

The sultan was fun in this version. He had some great lines and his dynamic with Jasmine was well done.

Proud of your boy was actually a top tier moment and I liked the depth it added to Aladin's character. Him being stuck being the disappointment and not wanting to disappoint Jassmine like he had his mom added some nice layers to why he did what he did. I think it helped emphasize how he wasn't a bad person but a kid(he felt younger than the movie. More like 17-18) out of his depth in a bad financial situation. His love for his mom and later Jasmine and how they make him want to be better both for them and himself, contrasting with the harsh reality of being poor and feeling like he has to lie. Very good build up.

Iago being human didn't bother me actually. It made sense to not bring a puppet on the road and he was a fun character.

Jasmine wearing pink at the end was dumb. Her dress should have leaned blue and Aladin's red, instead of him wearing the blue. For context they both wore whites with hints of color at the end. The decision to put her in pink didn't feel like anything but gendered nonsense. And I don't care that the creepy Jafar scene had her in red in the movie.

Jafar's costume changes were cool. To sultan and then genie.

Friend like me went on for too long. I get it has to be longer for the musical but it dragged a bit.

The green member of the trio.. liked food... and was heavier. It was overdone and my mom said she could feel my internal sighs. It just was not funny and kept pulling attention.

The genie was the opening person in this version. This version had the entire ensemble performing the Arabian nights(I think the cruise version just had the merchant sing it and then transitioned into one jump). Then the characters were introduced. Aladin and Jasmine posing on rolling carts with Jafar, Iago, and the sultan on the floor. Very nice stage picture. Made my theatre brain very happy.

The dancing in the show was top notch. The fighting was fun. But the dancing was the highlight. Would recommend it on that alone.

Aladin didn't get stripped of his princely attire by Jafar. Yes this bothered me. No it wasn't a big deal. I feel like Him sitting in his street clothes in defeat is an important element purely based on the fact I like the picture it paints in the story.

Final thoughts -

Both shows cut the underwater scene for obvious reasons. With Jafar interrupting being the fall from grace or arresting him depending on the show. Not noteworthy really just on the brain.

Overall I actually think the cruise one was better. I notice a trend with the Broadway shows shying away from magic a bit. And for Anastasia that made sense. Less so for Aladin.

I think cutting the carpet entirely and genie scene time was a mistake. I also thought the genie songs were less dazzling on broadway. The costumes and sets were higher quality and detail in broadway, with the cruise still having good quality but less extra umph. Instead the cruise leaned into the cartoony feel. Which they pulled off splendidly. The broadway show had less of that rough and tumble feel. Less cartoon like.The Broadway show had deeper characters, but less spontaneity and less moments that were just comedic moments like you'd get in the cartoon movie.

Overall Broadyway felt more like a traditional musical whereas the cruise show was more improv with almost concert music vibes. Both very good but entirely different experiences. The Broadway version delivered on the story and plot, and the cruise on lighthearted and comedic fun. Just very different goals and outcomes. I'd recommend both.

My perfect version would be a mix. Keep the Trio and carpet both(sorry abu). I like leaning into the magic being a suprise to the characters. I think the Trio reacting to the carpet would have been a fun moment. I liked the carpet flying scene in both but lean more towards the Broadway due to fewer projections.

The cruise version had Jasmine bring up how she's trained to rule since she was born. I think this would be a lovely way to push her forward as sultan with Aladin as her husband and advisor(house husband let's be honest) instead of the two ruling together(as in Aladin being thrust into equal partnership on reigning with no experience, not him not having a say).

I'd also keep the sultan from the Broadway show. I felt he was his most three dimensional in that version. Honestly I'd like to see it expanded on a bit. His struggle with tradition and love for his daughter. It'd add some tension and build their relationship.

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the-mike-est-of-michaels · 1 year

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Hello Mike! How are you this fine evening? Got any cool projects in the works? :)

Hey pheonix! nice to see ya. Oh boy do I got a lot of projects lol

:readmore:

Project A is covering my room with stickers because I like the aesthetic of small gig locations when they have a lot of band stickers so I've been buying some sticker packs and some from smaller artists (mainly cause I've got a small side gig so have some extra income as well as encouraging my family to give me some). This is my most proud section so far :]

A cool finished project I made is that I painted a Van Gogh painting for a costume for Halloween but I never posted it online cause I forgot that people could think it was cool. The can is a tomato can cause I didn't have any soup cans

I've been learning to knit because theres a group that I want to join and I didn't want to make a fool of myself, I'm not amazing but I've been having fun with it

I'm also making a lot of painting for friends cause its Christmas time and I am cheap so I figured making paintings was an easy gift that people would like so that's been fun

#mike talks #mike's friend tag #how have you been pheonix?#hope you're doing good

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servin-up-surveys · 1 year

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survey #129

What was the last thing that stressed you out or upset you? [TW: EATING DISORDER/SIMILAR BEHAVIOR] I had a breakdown at Girt's yesterday over how I'm being with food; I'd been basically starving for a while, like I was physically weak from it, but when I was presented with the opportunity to eat, I just emotionally collapsed because I still didn't want to eat because the longer I go without eating, the more proud of myself I am. I'm so fucking grateful for how helpful and reassuring his family was.

Are you more talented musically or artistically or neither? Artistically, for sure.

What were your best subjects in school? English/language arts, German, and art. I think my science grades were noteworthy all throughout at LEAST high school, too. The one thing I did struggle with/was absolutely never able to understand though was like, combining chemical formulas or whatever they were called. My physical science teacher (who today is our landlord/family friend) got such a kick out of how there was just this one topic that could NOT click in my mind, regardless of her explaining it to me one-on-one ten billion times. I was great at everything else, but with that stuff? My brain just turns the fuck off.

What was your favorite subject in school? ^ Actually those same ones. Oh, I did also take a mythology elective course in high school that I very much enjoyed, too.

What is the name of your YouTube channel? It's 0zzkat (zero, not an "o" bc it was already taken sobs)

What would your name be if you were the opposite gender? Coincidentally I asked my mom this two days back in a relevant convo at the tattoo parlor, and she said she didn't really know because with me and my sisters, she "knew" we were girls before it was officially discovered. She did say she liked the name Michael, though. Completely content with being Brittany and not Michael lmao

What show did you most want to be on as a kid? Hm, I dunno. Well, besides Pokemon if it were real, lol.

Describe your dream wedding in five words. Intimate, absolutely allows room for goofiness, gothic, non-traditional, and full of love and knowing I've made the right choice.

Who is your celebrity crush? why rzk gotta Look Like That at over 50 years old, calm the FUCK down

Have you ever been on a doubledate? Yes, with an extra friend that needed some cheering up. It was my favorite date that I've ever been on.

Favorite soup? I don't really like soup.

What do you want most? To be happy and content with myself.

What’s an unpopular opinion you have politically? I don't really believe in total eradication of law enforcement officials, that just sounds like a bad idea in the end, but I do VERY much believe that major reform is 100% mandatory in law enforcement. Because right now, that shit gets dark.

If you were to go to a Disney-themed costume party, what would you dress up as? Hmmmm... I think some sort of adaptation of the Cheshire cat would be very cool.

What is an ability you believe everyone should have? To listen and consider outside perspectives. People tend to wanna be right 100% of the time and just close themselves off to the possibility of them not being right, so they don't challenge their flawed opinions, practices, etc.

Name a song that’s fun to sing along to. HAHA "Bartender Song" by Rehab INSTANTLY comes to mind, I think EVERYBODY loves beltin that shit for no reason, lol. I think I also just remember doing this a lot with Colleen, in times where we had loads of fun, so it's a good memory.

Do you know how your parents met? They were co-workers.

If you owned a restaurant, what would you serve? I personally have no interest in owning a restaurant, but if I did, I think I'd try to be a vegan location, but with shit that's ACTUALLY good quality and convincing, even to non-vegans like myself. It's a cause I really support and would love to be more exposed to it, but also I know basically zero vegan locations here, so it'd be different and attractive too certain people for that reason.

What’s the fanciest event you’ve ever attended? Wanna say that dinner I attended at the end of high school for being in the top like, 10% or even less of the graduating class as far as GPAs went. I still have that plaque in this very room because it meant so much to me and was so validating that I wasn't a total idiot and capable of a lot.

Do you experience intrusive thoughts? YES and they freak me out

What is the best name you’ve heard an animal named? I mean it totally depends on the kind of pet, but I can say that I fucking love when people give like, cute cats and the like names that make them sound like the apocalyptic wrath of god compressed into this teeny animal, haha.

Morbid, I apologize. How do you think you’ll die? Ugh... I don't wanna think about this. But almost definitely some sort of health condition, probably relating to the heart.

What woke you up this morning? I just naturally woke up, literally past 2 PM lmao. Between the breakdown yesterday, recovering from a new tattoo, and getting HORRIBLE sleep lately, I guess I just seriously needed it.

Would you rather have many hobbies or 1 true passion? That's super hard, but I thiiiink many hobbies. That enables me to have fun in so many more ways, and encourages more variety in my life.

I feel like every school has one. What was a school scandal your town’s school had? Forewarning, this is REALLY FUCKING GROSS, so if you don't wanna read just pure gross shit, skip. But basically in high school there was a massive uproar over a video of a student going around the Internet where she covered a Certain Part of her body with peanut butter and let her dog... yeah. Been over a decade and I still struggle to accept someone (especially a minor, that's an extra layer of gross) ACTUALLY did that.

If you have pets, what would you ask them if they could speak? Roman: why the hell he's so intent on lying on the keyboard or on the mouse, lmao. Also why he's so terrified of strangers, especially since he was never abused or even had a bad experience with one. Venus: if she's content/happy. Or what she'd change if she could vocalize it to me. I think it's pretty normal to wonder this with caged animals, especially those that are less domesticated species. Cookie: why the HELL she loves to pee on the very, VERY edge of her pads, generally so she actually does it right beside them instead of on them. It drives my mom BATSHIT insane. Even at her old place she always used pads so it's something we do here too, and I mean she's a teeny-tiny dog so it's not really a nuisance... when she actually lands on them, lmfao.

What compliment did you last receive? Really don't know the chronologically last one Shelia (Girt's mom) said to me yesterday, because there was just a lot and I was also in a very bad mental state so my focus wasn't exactly all there.

Would you rather get a facial or massage? Facial. I'd find a massage excruciatingly awkward unless you were like my very serious s/o, and even with them I'm just self-conscious so would still be anxious.

Who is tallest in your family? I wanna say my brother. Possibly Dad? Idk.

Who did you last have a text conversation with and what was it about? My younger sister; I was asking her what date Dad's birthday is so I don't forget again this year. I knew it was in April, but I wanted the date and had zero interest in asking Mom because she doesn't like any of us kids showing even an ounce of interest in him as a person, honestly.

Do you bathe your pets regularly? No, none of them really need it. Roman does need to be brushed very frequently (it is INSANE how much fur constantly comes off this short-haired cat), though. I think my mom does occasionally use this foam shampoo stuff on Cookie, actually.

Would you have any clue when your best friend last got their hair cut? His older sister did semi-recently.

Who was the last person you messaged on Facebook? Juan, but it's from many days ago. I don't chat on Messenger much.

When was the last time you saw them? Like... 2016?

Do you have a friend named Nick? What’s his favourite food? My sister's husband's name is Nick, but I've no clue what his favorite food is.

Are you obsessed with anything? Meerkats are my CONSTANT obsession, like that started when I was a literal 10-year-old and hasn't stopped. My biggest obsession right now is Rammstein tho. Also very into tarantulas and the prospect of one day having one (definitely not dozens, no way man).

Do you prefer non-diet or diet soda? I refuse to drink diet because 1.) the aspartame or whatever causes me headaches, and 2.) they're JUST gross, to the point it's completely unenjoyable to drink them.

Do you think you’ll ever delete your Facebook account? Nah. There have been MANY occasions I've considered remaking it just to leave behind old posts and stuff that no longer even remotely align with who I am, but all the effort just for that does not seem worth it, and besides, some of the stuff I don't want to leave behind.

Do you think 10 years from now you’ll still be taking surveys? HA YUP

List 3-10 things in nature you find amazing. LAJSDLKFAJWKEJWERA EOH BOY THERE'S SO MANY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Some that immediately come to mind are just the circle of life itself (death nourishing and growing into new life), ginormous trees like redwoods, the process of evolution and nature's whole history on this planet, volcanoes, caves, AURORA BOREALIS, giant waterfalls like Niagra Falls, just how humongous sealife can grow, interspecies "friendships" (for example there are species of tarantulas that *basically* keep frogs as pets for mutually beneficial reasons), the fact dolphins like to get high for fun lmfao, fungi and stuff, UGH THERE'S JUST SO MUCH COOL SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

List three ways in which you are sensitive. Just three? Well, that's easy. The one that immediately comes to mind are ways my AvPD manifests, like how I will basically feel like I got physically shot if you make me feel dumb or weird for liking something or just judge me harshly in general for interests; I am VERY sensitive to basically any form of rejection; and I'm the person who WILL get upset if you make a joke that is intended to be harmless but involves a topic I'm personally sensitive about.

How many brothers do you have? One, and he's my half-brother. Still my brother in the ways that matter, though. I just wish I got to see him more.

Are you faithful in a relationship? I can confidently say one of the very last things you ever have to worry about as my s/o is me cheating, so yes.

List three things you can see if you look out the window closest to you. The garbage and recycling bins, the road, houses across the street.

What are three ways in which you are blessed? Not a fan of the word "blessed" here, I prefer just "fortunate," but regardless: I have a roof over my head, fucking fantastic people who support me, and even though it's a terrible one, we do have a car to get places.

What group of people do you feel like you fit in with the most? Uh... I dunno. Goths? At least at heart, haha.

Where is one place you’ve been in which you didn’t feel like you fit in at all? My sister's house on holidays, lmfao. They are the complete opposite of me.

Would you describe yourself as a wallflower? Oh for sure.

What are three little things in life that you enjoy? Pretty days with nice weather, hearing small streams of water like creeks run, and soda lmfao, but at least I've stopped having it regularly. I'm convinced the craving for it, especially when I've had a terrible day, will never go away, though.

If you could pick any three foreign countries to visit and explore, which three would you pick, and why? South Africa, because I want to visit the KMP but also I just find Africa to EASILY be the most stunning continent on this whole planet, I would be entirely stoked if I got to explore more of the country!! Then of course there's Germany; I've had a thing for Germany since high school when I took all the available language courses in it, it just seems like a nice, pretty place with the sort of weather I'd enjoy, and I'd love to try different foods and stuff. I know there are certainly people who still have a bad taste in their mouth regarding the country, but when learning about their culture and stuff and how disgusted the very vast majority ARE by their own history (take some fucking notes, USA <333333), they just sound like good and very honest people to get to know. For third place I'd probably pick Italy, especially to visit Venice and Rome! I don't even think I really need to explain why I wanna visit Italy, like who DOESN'T, haha. It looks like fucking paradise.

Do you feel you can honestly say that Jesus saved your life? I saved my own motherfucking life, get out. Religion nearly RUINED my goddamn life.

What are three pleasant surprises that you enjoy? Mom randomly coming home with a Mtn. Dew for me lmao (does not happen often, I really have gotten a lot better, but because of the rarity of it of course it's exciting), Girt deciding he's gonna come by here after work, or weighing myself and seeing the number drop whatsoever.

What are three ways in which you would describe yourself as “normal”? Uh, when speaking of my morality is one; I certainly don't think I'm evil, but I'm no leading public figure of some cause either - just your normal "good" person, I hope. Uh... I can't think of anything else quickly, I generally see myself as lacking in most areas.

... and what are three ways in which you would say you are not normal? I don't have my driver's license at 27 years old, nor do I have a bank account/any sort of monetary card/even just a job, and I know my mental health and its general stability is far from "normal."

What would you say is the best thing about your life right now? My legs getting stronger and being able to ACTUALLY tell with total certainty is a major source of joy for me these days. Just this past Friday, I walked down my sister's porch steps much more normal, and I stg it made my entire fucking day. For a VERY long time I've had to do one step at a time on basically any staircase, meaning I had to get both feet on a single step before going onto the next, but I didn't this time.

What are three of your favorite ways to help people? My top one is easy: be there for emotional support. Listen and comfort them whenever they need it. I've also noticed that when my s/o is sick, I go FULL maid mode completely willingly, like I just want to make their recovery as easy and peaceful as physically possible. I also am very big into supporting small businesses, especially of those close to me; I'd favor their services over others, and you can bet your ass I'd tell anyone about them when relevant.

Do you enjoy creative writing? HELL FUCKING YES it brings me so much joy and satisfaction.

#survey #surveys #random questions #personal questions

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