#because i love ruining people's day

[englass]

Plains and Valleys

Pairing(s): John Seed x Deputy/Reader

Warning(s): John is his own warning; Possessive/Obsessive Behaviour; John being creepy; Stalking; kind-of Crack, this isn’t taken all that seriously; Not Beta’d; Experimental Piece; NSFW/Explicit, my first (and likely only) attempt at smut -- please kindly let me know if there’s anything else I should warn of here, I don’t know what I’m doing.

Word Count: 4,020

A/N(s): The title is basically a placeholder for while I was writing this because I had no idea what to name it... and truly, I can’t be asked to think of something better for a piece that only exists to see if I can write smut (spoilers: I can’t, but I’m not letting a completed piece rot away in my docs just because I’m embarrassed; I worked and spent time on this damnit!).

On another note, I was gonna just give this piece over as my contribution to WIP day that @derelictheretic was kind enough to tag me in, but decided against it. I’ll post a proper response and WIP later this week or next, so bear with me please hun! Just wanted to get this out there first.

- - -

John had a problem.

Well, he had many problems. Not least of all his growing frustration at the continued resistance from the Fairgraves' in his pursuit for the deed to their ‘establishment’. He also had been unable to play with Affirmation as regularly as he would have liked, so that put him in an even fouler mood than usual. And he wasn't going to even think about the stress he was starting to feel with his brother constantly breathing down his neck; always questioning his actions as though he were a child constantly getting into trouble and needing twenty-four hour monitoring, always asking after the progress of things that take time. A lot of time.

John may have a substantial amount of money at his disposal, but that does not mean he can work miracles.

Not all of the time, at least.

And his problems don’t stop there, oh no. Despite what many likely thought of him (and what a stroke to his ego that is, knowing that people think of him) John was well aware of his problems, his faults. He’d spent a lot of time getting intimate with them, after all; and every now and again they'd crop up like daisies, weeding their way to the surface yet again. He’d become rather good at managing them, if he said so himself, but even John wasn’t perfect (he was damn close to it though, as many would agree). And one fault he hadn’t quite been able to trim back was his tendency to fixate on things; obsess. 

He obsesses over his plane, over its upkeep and maintenance, its flight records, the slightest scratch that wasn't there the day before-- how the fuck did that get there!?

He obsesses over the details on the manifestos he’s given, the contracts he’s made, dates and times for resource collection, rotations, their members' personal records (he denies having those), PR management, expenditures and everything in between. 

He obsesses over his home, the décor, the colours and lighting, materials used, the whole aesthetic. How he presents himself, the clothes and brands he wears (it’s vain but he needs those creature comforts), his posture, his presence, his overall look that creates an identity that just screams nothing but John.

He obsesses over things.

He knows he does. It’s a faulty blessing.

And he has found something new to obsess over.

John has had a few run-ins with the local Deputies of Hope County in the past. Mostly Joey Hudson, delightful as she is, but ordinarily he doesn’t think too much of them. After all, he’s untouchable and they all know it. There’s no reason to worry about them, let alone waste his precious free time (what little he gets of it) thinking about them. They’re insignificant in the grand scheme of things. Nothing but an inconvenience, an annoyance at most. Completely irrelevant.

But then he saw her.

Standing there, innocuous, looking out at something (for something? Nothing?) in the distance. 

There’s a hitch, the catch of a stilted breath.

Where they were keeping her hidden he has no idea, but he is taken the moment he catches that rogue glance of her.

And, strangely, he doesn't know why.

Sure, John and his brothers have been in this County for a good while now and he has never seen her before, so it’s perfectly normal for him to be curious about the unfamiliar face in town. Nothing wrong with that, it’s innocent enough.

Except there’s everything wrong with that.

Because that’s not it.

He can’t even blame his wandering eyes on her appearance; she’s wearing that drab uniform that even a charity shop wouldn’t take, and it does nothing to enhance whatever natural beauty she may have hidden underneath it. Although, the girl-next-door look she gives off is begrudgingly cute (if he dared to utter the word unironically).

Honestly, she’s not the type of woman that he typically would have paid any special attention to back in his lawyer days. Fucked her stupid maybe, for the extra notch in his bedpost, but he likely wouldn’t have taken her number or thought too much about her afterwards. Relegated to just another lay in a long line of bed partners that he doesn’t remember all the names of.

To be blunt, she isn’t anything special.

And maybe that’s part of the appeal, what hooks him in. Because she is different; unassuming and uncomplicated, modest to a point of simplicity. And yet there is something about her that he can’t actively see or name from his spot across the street that has drawn him in without even trying. And he doesn’t know what or why.

It’s as infuriating as it is intriguing.

Perhaps there is some iota of truth in what Joseph had said to him a while ago, John supposed silently to himself at the time: the simplest of things can be beautiful, in their own unconventional ways.

Although his brother could have said as much with far less words, verses, and vague allusions to a potential future that might never be-- a spark of sudden change that sets a new course in motion; scales tipped by the most consuming of emotions; scorched by a soul so deceptively unremarkable that no one would have thought to believe just how uniquely special they would become--

…

…… 

… Huh… 

John creates a special slot in his increasingly hectic schedule just for her from then on out.

He goes out of his way to find more reasons to harass and bother the local population, all in a fruitless attempt to get lucky and have her answer their call for aid and come and tell him what a bad boy he’s being. (Annoyingly she never turns up, though.)

He makes calls and pulls some strings to the businesses he’s procured, makes inquiries to anyone that would listen to him, including those doing menial tasks or even going through their Atonement (they don’t understand the relevancy of his questioning and he may have been a little harsher with them than he should’ve been because of it), and all in the name of his personal investigation into her.

After all, he had argued to himself in front of a cork board covered with documents and pictures of her with a feverish flavour, what sort of Herald would he be if he didn't know everything about everyone living in his-- their, his and his brothers, soon-to-be County?

His invasive and not completely legal search into this new Deputy (and she is new it turns out, freshly transferred in fact) goes on for a full, nonstop month before -- during one of his totally-random-and-not-planned stops into town -- he discovers something else about her.

When he first saw his Deputy (and doesn’t that feel good to say) she was alone, leaning against the wooden beam of the Sheriff’s Department’s porch and staring out into the distant fields; the late afternoon sun haloing her figure in its golden warmth, its light making the colour of her eyes blaze bright and her hair shine silkily. The perfect picture of ease.

This time, when he finally manages to spy another in-person look at her, he finds that she has company. She’s standing next to the ever friendly Hudson, posture held strong by an understated confidence and arms casually crossed beneath her bust, an amused smile on her decidedly pretty face as Hudson talks animatedly about something that he can’t hear.

And she’s looking up at her.

John blinks, and blinks again.

He’s definitely seen her file, he even remembers glossing through her medical records (which he would most assuredly deny having if anyone asked), so he knows how tall she is. But for some reason it apparently hadn’t quite registered to him until now what that would look like in a physical comparison between the two of them.

He knows that the lovely Hudson is a couple of inches shorter than him, not too far off from meeting him eye-to-eye. His Deputy, from what he can see, is about a full head shorter than Hudson. Which would put her, what, roughly just about eye-to-chest with him...?

He thinks about it. Thinks about her next to him, imagines what that would look like. Thoughts surprisingly innocent as he wonders after clichés of reaching for something that she can’t reach, of cocooning her in his arms as he effortlessly wrangles her into his lap. Envisions the domesticity of easily resting his head on top of hers as he holds her from behind, slotting himself into the mould of her figure like matching puzzle pieces, perfectly meant to be and belong… 

A high pitched, shaky sound slips free at the mental reel.

It’s not a secret the type of life that John used to live. He has been with numerous types of women, something he used to take a great deal of pride in, and has indulged in and explored his fair share of kinks in the comfort of expensive silk sheets. But who would have guessed that the former playboy, John Duncan now John Seed, would have a thing for domestic bliss.

Or rather, domestic bliss with little. ol’. her.

John makes the executive decision then and there to talk to his Deputy as soon as possible. Preferably alone. Without interference.

It feels like forever before he gets the opportunity.

A week later, on a daily walk through Falls End that has only admittedly become a thing in order to check up on the lucky woman of his blazing affections (I am not stalking her, Jacob, he had grounded out menacingly to his accusing older brother over Sunday dinner; who proceeded to look on at John with a slow quirk of an eyebrow), he finds his ever elusive Deputy resting around the corner of the Sheriff’s Department’s building. Eyes closed, head down, arms crossed, and safely concealed in the shade; unsuspectingly calm in her desired time alone.

And John is quick to ruin it.

He can’t help himself, he really can’t. The opportunity is here and he would be remiss to let it pass him by.

Even if she does look rather serene.

He's seen a few photos of her, more than a few actually-- albums worth even, so he knows what she looks like up close. He even printed one out (it’s a favourite of his, a near perfect replica of the first time he saw her) and has it framed on his bedside table; but it turns out no amount of photos quite do the real her justice.

The closer he gets to her the more he notices how petite she is, how the loose yet deceptively form-fitting hug of her bland uniform subtly accentuates the curves and slopes of her modest figure; the daintiness of her fingers as they rest against the exposed, smooth skin of her arms; that familiar magnetic draw snapping to life in the colour of her eyes as they lazily open, sparkling as he gets closer and she looks up at him, wide and wondering.

Innocent.

Oh, he was so wrong about her, he realises wondrously. Did her such a disservice in his initial judgement of her all those weeks ago. She is far from average.

And being here in front of her, close enough to touch, to be able to easily reach out and trap her against the wall and between his arms if he so wanted to, safely protected under the cage of his form -- her neck craning back in order to comfortably gaze up at him, meeting his eyes as he stares down at her… 

It makes something inside him go wild.

John lays the charm on quick and swift, hand attractively running through his hair as a practised but handsome smile lights up his face, eyes twinkling through his lidded gaze with an aweing hunger he knows he is failing to keep hidden.

Getting the first word in, he leans close to the wall, not quite putting his full weight against it (his shirt was expensive) but close enough to allow him a moment of privacy with her by limiting her field of view to only him. Blocking out everyone-- everything else with his taller frame (and doesn’t that thought spark a sudden twitch of interest) as he eagerly monopolises her attention.

Daringly he edges further into her space while he talks ardently to her, truly basking in the unexpected pleasure he gets in watching her unintentionally baring her neck to him; being so beautifully submissive for him without consciously realising it. Amusement colouring his tone in pale notes as he watches the way her pretty eyes darken and narrow at his progressive disturbance and invasion of her time and space.

Fuck. He didn’t know it would be this intoxicating to be so close to her.

Even as he dances through conversation with playful words and hinting remarks, becomes enamoured by the soothing intonation of her voice as she is dragged along with guarded comments and wary retorts, he can’t stop the way his mind ever so sinfully wanders… 

It really would be so easy to have her up against this wall. To crowd her in with his frame on all sides and her vision filled with nothing but him. The centre of her universe and attention, him; and his hers. The concept of that sort of all-encompassing intimacy and devotion makes John shudder. Hungry all the more for it and the woman that has unknowingly given him a taste of what it could all be and become, of what that level of pure, unadulterated want is inspiring in him.

He could easily have her against this wall. Have her looking directly skyward up at him as if he were her moon and stars, as he looks directly down at her-- his entire world and more.

Snatch her thigh and hoist it up towards his waist. Have her balancing precariously on the tips of her toes and clutching desperately at him, trusting John to help hold and support her and keep her steady as he shields her from the world around them. Hides her away from the unworthy just as the unworthy have hidden her away from him. His lips sweetly latching onto hers, her taste finally on his tongue after all these weeks of wanting, involuntarily grounding his hips into hers as a desperate sound breaks within his throat.

Oh, John can visualise it now: the two of them breathing in each other's air, bodies flush as he tugs and pushes closer, her shirt riding up as it's snagged by the rough brickwork at her back, arching into him on an unsteady foot to escape its harsh bite. Teeth nipping teasingly at her lips and tongue licking moreishly into her mouth as his free hand roams down her stomach, pulls the rest of her shirt loose and fumbles in his eagerness with the buttons of her jeans, yanking the zipper down and shoving his hand below the waistband and into her underwear. Hearing her whine sweetly into his mouth as he feels just how wet she is for him, how much she wants him and how eagerly she welcomes him into her as he plunges his fingers into her slick cunt with a needy and quaking moan of his own. 

Would she want it quick and rough? His fingers thrusting knuckle deep as he presses tight circles to her throbbing clit, teeth at her throat as he claws into her thigh held tightly in the dip of his waist. Listening to how her moans get higher, her breathing gets quicker, turning into desperate little gasps before he tugs his fingers free of her; lips devouring hers in quick apology as he battles to pull his aching cock free, cursing lowly against her lips as his slick covered fingers slip on the metal of his belt. She’d help him, he knows she would -- such a good girl --, nipping and kissing him back with wanton sounds as she bats his hand away, revelling in the noises he makes for her -- only for her, only ever for her -- as she pulls him free; rolling her hips until his cock catches on her slit and he’s thrusting home into her.

Only then -- while feeling her walls flex around him, mouth hanging open as they both bask in finally, finally being so intimately connected to one another -- would he finally hike her other leg up to wrap fully around his waist, fully supporting her weight and driving himself deeper into her, one of his arms coming up to press into the wall beside her, hand caringly slipping behind her head; bracketing her in. Shivering as her breath warms his neck and she cries out for him.

And considering her height… fuck, he can only imagine just how tight she’d be for him, chocking his cock as she squeezes him, milking him for all he’s worth until his teeth are stained red against her lovingly maimed neck. His hips snapping into hers with a guttural growl, panting sensual snarls of encouragement into her ear as he demands and begs in equal measure that she touch herself for him, dexterous fingers chasing her end as he chases his own until-- she’s coming around him with a high and shuddery keen. Her soft walls sucking him deeper into her, legs locking tighter around his waist and keeping him there as he spills himself into the back of her hot cunt with a strangled moan. Claiming her as his as he presses in closer, plugging her full with his cock and cum and praying that it’ll take-- 

…

……

… Huh.

He will definitely be exploring that at a later date…

Or perhaps she wouldn’t want it like that. Wouldn’t want him to be so rough and careless with her. Maybe she would want him to go slower, to be gentle-- to be good for her, to take his time and truly enjoy and appreciate every sweet beg and whimper that falls from her perfect lips. Perhaps she wouldn’t want to fuck him at the back of her shabby place of work, or even anywhere out in the open; maybe she would prefer privacy, for him to make love to her. Would want him to steal her away into his home, to carefully lay her out on his bed and unwrap her like a delicate gift, hands tracing teasing paths along her body before spreading her wide for his tasting pleasures. Taking his time to truly savour her unique flavour on his palette, wanton sounds pressed into sensitive flesh as he takes her throbbing clit into his mouth and sucks.

Broad strokes of his skilled tongue parting her lips and drinking her down, fingers firm as they hold onto the soft meat of her thighs and hips, thumbs rubbing soothing motions into her skin as he opens her up for him. Urges her with hot breathes, praising words, the flick of his tongue and the dip of his fingers into her wet heat, to cum for him; pleads with sound and touch and a greedy haze over his lust-darkened eyes. The gravel in his gluttonous voice vibrating into her, in love with how she reaches and cries out for him as he tells her how good she’s being for him, how badly he needs her to cum for him-- a debauched sound choking out of him as she does. Completely enraptured as she reaches the height of pleasure -- pleasure he brought her, that he will always strive to bring her --, bearing witness to his own personal God-given vision as he watches her writhe against his sheets and listens to her songs of praise, easing her down from that divine high and back into his devoted embrace.

Kissing a line up to her bitten lips, answering her mewls with soft coos and grounding touches, brushing over a nipple before taking the perky flesh into his mouth with a brief suck and fleeting skim of teeth, letting go with a lingering kiss before moving across and repeating the process to its twin. Reluctantly drawing away to playfully nip and press wet kisses into the column of her throat before letting her taste the tanginess of her juices on his tongue. Languidly kissing as he strokes her sides, writing indecipherable words of affection into her skin, content to let her enjoy the bliss of post-orgasm before he slowly pulls away, descending back down the line of her body with a husky, ‘one more, just one more for me, darling...’ 

John knows he wouldn’t stop at just ‘one more’ though. Hopefully she’d be generous enough to give him a few more before he finally slakes his need for her.

And hopefully she doesn't see the hard-on he’s now sporting after such vivid fantasies.

In a particularly bold move, temptation spurred into a fever from improper imaginings, John reaches for her; fixates on a strand of hair that has become untucked from behind her ear. She tenses, muscles coiling tight as she gives him the most suspicious look somebody has ever given him before. He’s actually rather offended. And very hurt.

But it’s sobering, in its own way. Because suddenly he can hear Joseph’s voice in his head from last Sunday (what a turn-off…), advising him that if he wanted to pursue a relationship with this Deputy that he was so smitten with then he needed to be gentle, considerate.

John may have done his ‘research’ on her, extensively so, but that did not mean that he was entitled or even deserving of her affections. He could not expect her to be on the same page as him, especially considering he had yet to even interact with her at that point. She may not have even heard of him yet, Joseph had speculated-- John and Jacob quietly sharing a disbelieving look. Everyone in the County knew their names, and with her being a Deputy there was no way she hadn’t heard of them.

Regardless, Joseph’s point still stood: if John wanted a genuine chance with her then he needed to soften himself, to be delicate, more tactful with her. Demonstrate that he can hear and see her for all that she is and can be, and that he accepts her without reservation.

Think of it like Atonement, Joseph had supplied sagely, fingers steepled, she needs to willingly give her confession over to you, John. Her affections. You can’t just take them.

And to Joseph’s credit, that actually made sense to John.

Atonement was all about accepting one’s sins, confessing them to another whom they trusted would never condemn nor judge them for their past actions or choices; unburdening themselves so they may be reborn pure and untainted for the hopeful future ahead of them. In that regard, his pursuit of his Deputy wasn’t too dissimilar.

So in that brief moment, in that flash of hurt as she steels herself against his considerate gesture and where John remembers Joseph’s words, he pauses. Convinces himself to go slower, to not try to grab at her like a spoiled brat reaching for things that weren't his-- yet. Reigns himself in enough so he doesn’t give her anymore of a reason to potentially be wary of him, to which he has very likely just given her quite a few. Trying in his own distinct way to smooth over her obvious distrust of him.

John knows he’s made mistakes throughout his life. Many would say he’s not a good man, and he wouldn’t necessarily disagree with them. But seeing and learning of her, of recalling his brother’s words and advice, of the many fantasies he’s had before and even during meeting her in this moment, he thinks he could change that. Knows that, if she would have him, if she gave him the chance, he’d be good. He’d be good for her.

Joseph always talks about love, about the power and control it wields over people and-- admittedly, John doesn’t completely get it. 

But with her? For her? He thinks he just might.

… 

He thinks he already does.

#can you tell i didn't know how to end this? #what a mess #plot is less than half baked #but hey i had fun with it so that's good #also #because i love ruining people's day #i can't help but read that first line in Jeremy Clarksons voice. makes this whole thing that bit funnier to me #oh and if anyone would like to draw a certain scene of John and a cork board that would be most appreciated #absolute pinnacle of me going silly with this fic #love it #also also #i was aiming to get this out for halloween because of how scary the writing is but i'm an hour late :( #very typical of me but i'm still disappointed #but it's okay i have my bed waiting for me so all is well lol #john seed x reader #john seed x deputy #john seed x female deputy #fanfic #fanfiction #my writing #fc5 fanfic #far cry 5 fanfiction #far cry 5 fanfic #tw: obsessive behavior #tw: stalking #tw: possessive behavior #don't feel like he's that possessive in this but still tagging just in case

[the-unfortunate-ly]

collapse with your art

#inspired by the song collapse by drew monson #i was able to force myself out for a walk today #because i love walking in the rain #my agoraphobia has just been so intense #it honestly kind of ruined the walk for me #like its so hard to enjoy where i am and the things around me when i just feel a burning ball of terror in my chest #whenever a car goes by too slowly or if someone stops and gets out near me #im just so scared of other people because i know what theyre capable of #anyways #hope your day is going well #my photography #midwestern gothic #american gothic #dreamcore #liminalcore #liminal space #oddcore #weirdcore #vent #ventcore #liminal photography #nostalgiacore #nostalgic #vintage #midwestern emo #surrealcore #midwest gothic #rural america #film photography #landscape

[sciderman]

How do you feel about the increase in really weird NSFW ads on here (advertising panels that look like sexual encounters, and AI art apps that pride themselves on porn) but will take down NSFW posts from their users, even if it isn't technically sexual.

i hate all social media and it's consistent prioritising the advertisers over the users and the internet simply was a better place before capitalism sunk its hooks into it

#i could write essays about how capitalism ruined the internet. #i was actually talking to someone earlier today about how youtube was kind of effectively ruined by monetisation. #and they were raised in the soviet union and we had a bit of a talk about how art was better because it wasn't for profit. #the people who made art made it because they wanted to do it and because they loved it. #she said that communism was terrible for every aspect of life for her. people's lives under communism wasn't pretty. #but the art was better. and i feel like it's true for the internet – it was better when it was a free-for-all. #the companies didn't know how to exploit it yet and turn it into a neverending profit-driven hellscape. #people created content because they wanted to. because they wanted to make something silly to make people laugh. #not for profit. not for gain. not for numbers. not to further their career. #i miss the days of newgrounds and youtube before monetisation. #capitalism has soiled everything that's joyful and good in this world. #people should be able to share whatever they want. #people should be able to tell any story they want without the fear of being silenced by advertisers. #that's what made the internet so beautiful before. anyone could do anything and we all had equal footing. #but now we're victims of the algorithm. and it makes me sick. #i'm quitting my job in social media. i'm quitting it. it makes me too depressed. i have an existential crisis every freaking day. #every day i wake up and say "ah. this is the fucking hell we live in #i'm so sorry i feel so passionate about this. #social media is a black hole and it is actively destroying humanity. forget ai. social media is what's doing it. #i miss how beautiful the internet used to be. it should've been a tool for good. but it's corrupt and evil now. #sci speaks

[moonpaw]

thinking about nami's backstory and how she begged for help twice, and both times ended up with Gen getting beat up and sliced to ribbons, as well as the rest of the villagers getting attacked as nami watched in horror, and this was after watching her mother get shot in the head

then later on in arlong park, she watched as several marine ships came to try to help and watched as arlong and the fishman pirates sank each and every one of them before the navy stopped sending help altogether and in just a few hours nami realized that she can no longer ask for help, it won't successfully come without lose of life of either random people or those she cares about

so at that moment she decided that she can't rely on anyone, can't ask for help lest they get attacked, and that she is completely and utterly on her own

and then comes in luffy and the straw hats, determined to help, but i think it's important here to know that luffy waits until nami asks for it, something she was avoiding until arlong backed her into a corner and everyone she loves was about to be killed despite all her effort and struggles

asking for help meant death to whoever would, but not asking for help would lead to the deaths of those she was trying to protect

so she asked

#one piece #i had to reread arlong park like 4 times bc of the zoro project and every single time i was bawling like a baby #just argh #one piece is so good #and sometimes i see people misunderstanding this part or thinking nami was weak for it and im just #no you dont understand #she couldnt ask for help because she didnt want luffy and the others to get killed by arlong #because that's what she associates asking for help with because she watched what happened when she did the same day her mother got killed #she doesnt want them to die!! #she doesnt want her village to be killed either! #she couldve easily run out to sea and abandoned them if she wanted to free herself but she didnt #because she loves her village #she put herself in danger for them and didnt get to live a normal childhood as she started to go out and rob other pirates for money #she would be gone for weeks and months but she always came back #even if coming back meant being near who killed her mother and ruined her life #just augh #nami....

[homethelongwayaround]

Genuinely my main thing with the Watcher thing (I watch their stuff but I’d never consider myself a die hard fan) is that I really want to see the back end projections and business plans that went into this. Show me how their math mathed to the point that this seemed not just viable, but an improvement upon YouTube at this moment in time.

I’ve been watching it unfold all day and seeing the comparisons to Dropout, the unfortunate optics of reinstating the “let’s go eat stupidly expensive stuff” show as your first big new thing for the platform while also saying you don’t have money to do the “TV-quality” things you want, all that’s fine and dandy and not incorrect. But I just can’t see how this is financially going to win out.

I wish the boys the best, hope it works out for their sakes, and I hope regardless that one day we get an idea of what the decision making process was. Not the vague “ad revenue ain’t what it used to be” type comments they made in their very not-reading-the-room announcement video, but actual numbers. I’m super interested.

#I love Dropout’s style but I’m also not subbed to them #I am chronically unable to keep up with things that aren’t on YouTube since I spend all day there #no matter how much I love them #i also think they’re trying to both-sides making content where they clearly wanna upgrade into tv level stuff #but also only want to make their Buzzfeed content that drew the eyeballs and brought in the money #but those Buzzfeed series worked because they were simple and the focus was on the guys and not the production value #mystery files lost a ton of momentum when they started talking to each other from across the room instead of next to each other at a table #ghost files doesn’t work when there’s twelve other people filming and ruining the isolated vibes #and I actually liked their watcher original stuff the best #puppet history and weird wonderful world were my favorites #I even liked Steven’s shows which is APPARENTLY a hot take now #but they all cancelled after one season #so I’m good #watcher #watcher entertainment #steven lim #ryan bergara #shane madej

[eyedle]

That single queer person moment when you finish watching or reading some lgbtq+ media and then feel that deep profound yearning and sadness for something you have never experienced and may never experience.

#relationships #crush hulu #crush #heartstopper #ofmd #our flag means death #im so sad rn #number 1: all my previous have been awful because of me and my inability to let go of my fears and anxieties #number 2: i have ocd and everything makes me feel like I'm a bad person and am ruining peoples lives #number 3: i dont know my own feelings #number 4: i am such a clueless bisexual #number 5: i will fall in love with people just because they're nice to me and then lose my feelings in like two business days #number 6: man i am so Fucking Lonely #i just want a gf? is that so hard to ask for? #lgbtq

[pansyfemme]

im having anxiety so bad right now that im overwhelmed by noise but quiet is making me so paranoid i cant not have my headphones in

#ive been venting on tumblr since day one of this account but this feels different now #i dont know where to go sometimes i dont want to wake up friends or therapists or parents or even really talk one on one #i just want to speak and people to read it i guess #but ive become really obsessive about being a bad person and its ruining my life lately #there was an incident at home that made me go back into this old thought process i have #and the roomate struggles have made it worse #i feel needy and constantly needing attention and validation and it makes me sick #i want to tell people i love them constantly because i need to but then i convince myself thats also bad that must be manipulation #everytime i dislike someone they must know it and hate me and find me disgusting #im like so tired of obsessions #of not being able to hear words i cant make out without becoming obsessive about how people must be talking about me #and i hate the aftershocks of shame of assuming im even important enough to be talked about #vent tw

[tacagen]

WHY IS NOBODY TALKING ABOUT HOW THIS SUCKER NOT ONLY GOT A NEW DESIGN BUT FUCKING DIED AGAIN EXACTLY 3 PAGES LATERRR

#eobard thawne #professor zoom #reverse flash #the flash #no because my day is immediately ruined when i find out there is a new thawne appearance anywhere in the comics #BUT THE FACT HE DIES IN THE END IS SUCH A GAMECHANGER. I ALWAYS LOVE A NEW RIDICULOUS DEATH. #yeah yeah im extremely weird(it boils down to me not trusting anyone to properly write thawne ever except me and 3 other people who #actually Get Him. like fuck off dc youve done enough harm already. but if he doesnt get to do much and dies? its most in character+funny) #anyway his last words 'b-barry. barry. lets just take a breath-'???? GRHGSGSHTSRRH HE IS. A FUCKING LOSER. #and the hand-through-heart thing WITH THE SPEAR OF DESTINY AROUND?? POETIC #and also. his design. HES IN HIS 'WANNA BE BARRY' PHASE AGAIN ISNT HE #knight terrors: the flash #ngl i havent even read the thing and dont really know the context. im here exclusively for these 4-5 pages featuring the Rat Bastard

[quietwingsinthesky]

oh, yeah, another thing i noticed that was odd about s5 in comparison to earlier seasons was how much they relied on like. not the history of the doctor, exactly, but the image of that history. whether from little easter eggs of the first doctor’s picture popping up everywhere to i think the two(?) times in the season we get a montage of past doctors. and i honestly can’t remember anything like that happening earlier (with the exception of the time crash short, which felt more substantial to me and was also like. 7 straight minutes of david tennant being allowed to fangirl.)

and i say ‘the image’ because hell knows the RTD era was pulling from doctor who past left, right, and center, but it rarely felt like a moment of ‘look at this old thing, you remember old thing? old thing was cool and so are we for continuing it.’ and more like ‘here’s a species/character/etc from classic who. and here’s how they’ve changed and fit into the new world we’ve built for the show.’

I guess, the difference here for me is that. i haven’t watched classic who. s5 shows me a slideshow of doctors and to me, those are the guys i once ranked by how sexy i think they are. and not much else. i don’t have an emotional connection to an image. but take, say, school reunion? an episode that was my favorite even back when i was a kid specifically because i adored sarah jane? i had no idea who she was then, i only just figured out a little bit ago which doctor she traveled with, and exclusively all i’ve watched of her is that episode in s2 and the sarah jane adventures. and yet, that episode, without the context there for me, managed to make sense to me. i’m sure it was probably even more impactful to fans of sarah jane from classic who, but it didn’t lose its impact without that knowledge.

so, that’s a shift. i don’t want to say it’s a negative one, exactly, because maybe people who have seen classic who like these references and i’m missing something. but, to me, it feels a little more shallow.

#sorry if i kept talking about sarah jane and school reunion we’d be here all day. her reintroduction to nuwho is phenomenal. #even without classic who. you get it. you get what the doctor did to her. you understand how much it hurt her. by giving her time with rose #we’re able to use what we know about rose to parallel her with sarah jane and infer that sarah jane was a lot like her once. it’s good! #and seeing pictures of the first doctor is like. very funny because he’s a silly little guy. but i don’t know that man. #but yeah. another example i’d put out there is Dalek. and yes everyone loves dalek we all know its good. but. without the context of classic #who. this was the choice of how to reintroduce the daleks to the audience. not as silly tin can killing machine. but as this. this wretched #and pitiable thing that dies to see the sunlight. this monster that is. in its last moments. capable of change. however small. #(a theme that i think links up well to evolution of the daleks in s3. i think its interesting how we’re invited to see the daleks first as #beings that have had a great and terrible injustice done to them. (in episode: the dalek being chained up and tortured. in a wider context: #how daleks are made at all.) before we’re introduced to them as a galaxy-wide threat intent on inflicting that same suffering on the rest of #the universe.) #MY POINT IS: nuwho and classic who mix well when the classic who elements are reintroduced in a way that makes sense both for people with #the back knowledge of classic who (and maybe they get even more out of it) while ALSO makign sense to people who’ve only seen nuwho. #anyway. this is a small thing its far from like. a show-ruining point. its literally fine lol. #doctor who #dw lb

[seventeendeer]

I'll admit that Chris Pratt as Mario was the one part of the trailer that didn't work for me, but everything else really did have quality to it. Jack Black had the perfect balance of threatening Bowser and campy Bowser, the animation was exactly what I'd hope a Mario movie would look like, and it's clear there's a lot of passion in the project, to the point where they even incorporated Mario creatures that aren't as well-known and mainstream. I don't think it deserves being entirely ragged on just thanks to one lackluster part.

I’m afraid I have to disagree! Chris Pratt Mario is easy to rag on because it’s exactly as awful as predicted and ties into an existing awful trend in current animated movies (also Chris Pratt sucks as a person), but I also think it's just ... the most obvious symptom of an issue strewn all throughout the trailer.

It lacks soul. Sure, the character models are up to the industry standard and the color work is very good and there’s nothing immediately artistically offensive about it, but it’s just so lackluster. The characters’ lines and body language are completely to-the-point, have no individuality or spunk, no flavor. There’s no word play, no slang (made up or real), no distinct speech patterns. All the characters’ lines sound like they came directly out of 11 other movies from the last decade. The body language accomplishes getting across some very basic emotions, but again, everyone moves the same, there’s no sauce on there, it’s just “character is scared,” “character is excited,” “character is surprised.” Bowser’s character acting while talking is also very awkward and janky (reminder that Hotel Transylvania, a similarly badly written but EXTREMELY well-animated CGI movie came out TEN YEARS AGO).

On the subject of Bowser, I also think Jack Black was a very poor choice for him. Yeah, he can do the voice rumble, but it has no depth, no reverberation. It’s generic.

It’s not just Chris Pratt Mario that sounds flat and lifeless, even though he is definitely the worst offender - everyone, from Toad to Luigi to the penguin guys at the beginning, all literally just sound like Some Guy.

Which becomes a problem when “tiny cute cartoon animal sounds like a grown human being” was supposed to be a joke at the beginning! The joke doesn’t land when every other character sounds like that and it’s not meant to be funny!

This being another problem. It’s not funny or has an interesting plot teased? They tried to crack some jokes, but they were regurgitating common cartoon gags that were done to death a decade ago. It was some Ice Age 4 style comedy. And with the generic plot threads introduced, the trailer really had nothing going for it except “please come look at our movie, it has some nice special effects!”

As for using lesser-known Mario characters ... I’m sorry to say, but that’s a really common marketing tactic for this era of big franchise movies. A really basic, generic plot front and center so newcomers to the franchise can keep up with the plot, with these little nuggets of “remember this obscure guy or thing?!” for longtime fans to point at and go “oh yes I remember that guy or thing!!” It isn’t evidence of passion, it’s evidence of the creators knowing how nerd fandom operates and taking advantage of people’s sincere affection for their favorite stories.

I love bad movies and I don’t fault anyone for being excited about the Mario movie, but it’s disheartening to see people hyping up these soulless cash grabs just because franchise movie creators have caught onto which levers to pull to make fans swallow their garbage without complaining too much.

It was the same thing with the Sonic movies. They have basically nothing to do with the Sonic franchise, even the main character is completely divorced from the thematic context he was born out of, but tons of people love it just because it’s superficially “heartwarming” and more or less manages to dodge some of the obvious problems of other family films in the same genre.

Again, I’m not saying no one’s allowed to like these movies. But how anyone can look at the Mario trailer or the Sonic movies and call them good adaptions ... is beyond me.

The Mario and Sonic games’ stories aren’t good because there’s a guy named Mario in overalls and a blue hedgehog named Sonic who save the day in each their silly little way, they’re good because of their unique themes and ideas. Mario’s story is appealing because it’s quirky, energized, full of weird places and weird people that are nothing like any big blockbuster movie. Sonic’s story is all about environmentalism and anti-capitalism! Sonic stands for a green future! These traits are the heart and soul of the franchises these movies are trying to adapt, it’s what makes them good, but mainstream movie producers don’t care about any of that. They just put the funny-looking guy on the screen, try not to piss off any parents or long-time fans too much, then wait for money to start rolling in.

Besides, Mario’s only two defining character traits are “Italian” and “plumber,” and I do think it says a lot that even getting those two things right was too much effort for Illumination. The sheer balls it takes to look at a massive franchise like Mario and decide to change 50% of the most recognizable traits of its main character are astounding. Maybe it would be stupid to trash the movie over a single miscast voice ... but when it’s the main character? When said miscasting takes away one of his two character traits? That’s not nitpicking, that’s identifying an underlying problem with the production process, that is, a lack of interest in the very franchise they’re trying to adapt.

Nintendo has more money than god. They should be able to get a hold of an animation studio that can do more than just make pretty special effects and look up obscure characters on a fan wiki.

I don’t want a Mario movie that’s more or less non-offensive, I want a Mario movie that’s good. I want a Mario movie that understands the property it’s adapting. We have got to stop patting big blockbuster movies on the back for doing the bare minimum.

#asktheherd #i feel so bad having to reply so negatively to one of my favorite long-time followers but I MUST SPEAK MY TRUTH ... MOVIE BAD #it's NOTHING PERSONAL coolcat001100 i hope i'm not ruining your fun #i just hate ... corporate movie ..... #hate the way they sand down subjects just enough to appeal to both long-time fans and newcomers #put just enough money into bowser looking badass to satisfy the furries and then call it a day shaking my fckn head #im so mad lol this is so silly but i think the sonic movie broke me a long time ago and now i must live like this #i love sonic so much why did they do that to him and WHY are people still clapping because of it im so mad #mario movie #long post cw

[cybrthrillz]

i am going to be honest the only reason why i ever talk about wallmark is because mark was a big part of wallters life and his story canonically. i think that wallter was actually happy with him for a while before he became concrete. but like. while wallter does miss mark, that doesnt mean they should get back together, or even that wallter wants to associate with him again, yknow....

#like realistically wallter misses what they had. unaware that he was literally the one who ruined everything #and nothing would ever be the same again if wallter continues the path hes own #if he got back with mark hes just gonna get upset with him again for not having the same love for concrete that he does #while wallter doesnt realize it at the end of the day he only cares about what he wants #i just think we should explore other ship possibilities now maybe? 😭 #cybrtalkz #regretevator #not tagging this with the Ship Name because i dont want people to see my neg post when they just wanna see content for their ship

[widowshill]

r/v + loneliness.

102 / Daphne du Maurier, Rebecca, ch. 4 / 4 / 8 / Art Wallace, Shadows on the Wall / 603 / Daphne du Maurier, Rebecca, ch 4. / 473 / Richard Sherman, Demo: "Lovely, Lonely Man/Chitty Chitty Bang Bang Finale" / 2

#➤ roger collins & victoria winters. ┊ pain sometimes precedes pleasure，miss winters. #➤ edits & art. ┊ the evans cottage art gallery. #compilation tag #idk I have just been Thinking about this since that gifset lol. #‘I’ll blame it on you‚’ she says — because you are the one who has brought me here‚ she thinks #because she seems to anticipate even in their first meeting that she will play Eyre and he Rochester. #there had better be many more such tête-à-tête’s on the cliff side or she’ll be terribly disappointed ! #[and not only cliffside proselytizing: barging into her room at all hours‚ chasing her around town‚ dragging her bodily into the drawing #room‚ and‚ occasionally on a good day‚ an actual genuine date or a meal sometime.] #Roger has –– in theory –– everything that she wants. a family‚ a home‚ a wife and child‚ history and ancestry! boy does he have that! #and yet he is terribly terribly alone in this well he has poisoned. #(from which‚ I might add‚ vicki drinks greedily.) #''What do you want out of life?'' when he's already achieved (or so it appears on the outside) the midcentury blazon of success: #a family‚ a well-to-do office position at which he really does nothing‚ a succession of american-made sports cars. #he may be separated from his wife but together‚ he and elizbeth and david and carolyn form a mimetic image of the nuclear family. #to which vicki is desperate to grasp onto‚ even in its most nightmarish form‚ whether or not she realizes that's why she stays. #but what does he want? he wants the same thing she wants. love and companionship. (that he hasn't yet ruined. that he can't stop ruining.) #she may not precisely understand his type of loneliness but she knows about loneliness among people. she's lived it. #and she knows too about ... a visceral loneliness pushing you to push people even further away (as in the childhood story she tells david). #so she sees through his fronts a lot of the time‚ whether they be a layer of charm‚ or terror. and boy does he hate that. being seen for #something real. where his actions matter and produce consequences. where feeling is real – good or bad. #the little governess and her capacity to find shadows to throw light on! whether they be locked chambers in the basement or the atria.

[tardis--dreams]

I have a 'job interview' today at 6p.m. (s i x o c l o c k. In the Evening.) (It's currently 12:40 am) but I'll make chickpea salad on thursday so maybe there's still something left to live for

#this is diabolical #the whole day is ruined #I'm gonna dread it all day #it's so fucked up #i wanna kill that woman #and myself #and for a job i have no chance of getting #it's gonna be so embarrassing #i wanna throw up #but i love chickpeas and they keep me going ♡ #Thursday is gonna be a good day solely because of the chickpeas #i hate these interviews #i think they should be illegal #just give people jobs without putting them through such agony #void screams

[tricksterlatte]

The Online Fandom 7 Deadly Sins

sloth: complaining about how no one writes the tropes or pairings you like and bashing what's already out there, while refusing to create anything you desire yourself

greed: zine and other finance-related scandals with zero remorse for those negatively affected

gluttony: spending rent money on merch, experiencing buyer's remorse, then repeating the same process next month

wrath: anon hate over literally everything under the sun, even harassing official writers and threatening them if they don't make your ship canon

pride: devaluing other's characterizations and ships to praise yours as better, whether through a canon perspective or a moral perspective, when neither matter in the long run when it comes to your own enjoyment

envy: trash talking others' fandom creations or saying you won't bother creating anything because it'll never be as good as them

lust: fighting over who tops or bottoms because of your personal preferences when one, both, or neither could happen, especially when most of these characters never even kiss canonically nor have most people fighting done any of these things irl themselves

#parker says things #i'm not exempt I've definitely done a few of the things listed #especially pride and envy god those really go hand in hand and it's sad #but seriously...guys does any of this matter in the long run #just have fun #if someone is having fun in a way that clashes with your own type of enjoyment just hit da bricks! #that guy's got horns! well not gonna ruin my day! #live like Yusuke guys #i've been afk because I'm dealing with some intense depression but fandom has actively hurt more than helped me #and I know plenty of ppl myself included think discussion of meta is enjoyable but I think things reach a point where it's only stewing #the inherent focus on adhering to a singular strict perspective is toxic to ourselves in the long run #have fun! be self indulgent #almost everything posted is gonna be ooc to some people even if it's 100 percent accurate to others #and just in general idk I think we should focus on fandom as a sense of fun instead of a marketing ploy #most of us are not here to make fanart or writing a career #I'm not really a community person and I've learned that the hard way over a decade and more #but i just hope people will find what sparks joy and enjoy themselves again #I don't think I'll be active in fandoms much anymore as I focus more on my personal life and recover from some things #but I wish everyone much love and hope for the best for people #even if we've had some bad interactions I do not wish ill upon anyone #i got off topic but these tags are just me saying I'll stick to lurking publicly and replying to my DMs and writing in private #will still post some things to my AO3!! maybe #anyways tag yourself I'm a recovering glutton/envy

[clenastia]

i dont know why the running joke of this chapter is kakashi fearing for his kidneys. where did that come from. WHY did that come from.

i should probably cut that in editing it's a little ridiculous.

except it makes me giggle every time so maybe i should leave it there.

#girl's mind fanfic #clena's writing progress #just have to write ONE more conversation and the whole chapter is done. but DAMN if editing wont be a bitch #still wondering if i should cut jiraiya's 3-page infodump #because while most people dont mind #some people keep commenting saying that my fic is too wordy and i keep adding unnecessary things #and like. they're 1% of reviews but i have the emotional fragility of a china teacup #i cry when i get those sorts of reviews and they ruin my day even tho i get twenty comments who love my rambling #but like. also. i shouldnt delete stuff from my fic just for the 1% of assholes who will say mean things about it #but also i dont want to cry when someone inevitably says something mean about it. #most if not all of said assholes are on fanfiction dot net so technically i could just stop cross posting #except there are people on that site who DO like my rambles so #ugh. why am i such an emotionally sensitive crybaby. my life would be so much better #if i didnt have such thin skin #i'm 90% certain that jiraiya's 3-page infodump is going to get LONGER with editing cause i'm gonna turn it from infodump into #an actual conversation. so who knows how many pages it'll be by the end. the chapter's already 6500 words #which is double my average chapter length #and i DO like the info he presents even if it maybe ISNT strictly required for progressing the story. probably only the last paragraph is #ugh. i wish people would just never say mean things ever. then i wouldn't have a problem with anything xD

[shoechoe]

im not particularly into romantic ships !! (but i like contributing 2 ask games) sooo hmm... whats ur favorite canon friendship or dynamic ? or one u'd like to see in jjba?

Don't worry- I like this ask too.

I wouldn't say I have one canon (non-romantic) character dynamic in particular that I would consider my favorite, but I can list a few of them in no particular order:

-Polnareff and Abdul (I also think the ship is pretty cute)

-Diavolo and Doppio (I find this one the most fun to think & talk about for obvious reasons)

-Trish and Bruno

-Yasuho and Josuke (8) (this one was sort of implied-romantic, but I'll count it)

-Josuke (4) and Okuyasu

-Jolyne, Foo Fighters & Hermes

I also really would've liked to see what an interaction between Doppio and Trish would've looked like- both of them were criminally underused and it's a shame.

I get very excited about character dynamics, but I don't really care much for romantic ships myself either. When I say I "like" a ship, most of the time what I mean by that is if a mutual or friend is into it, I'll nod and give a thumbs up from the sidelines or maybe think "oh, that's kind of cute, sure". The only times I get the "shippy" feelings that I assume are the main appeal of shipping is if I care about one or preferably both characters very, very much, which just doesn't happen often. (Also, I get kind of irrationally territorial about characters I care about to that level, so I'd probably only trust ship art from me and a few people lol.)

#asks #ask game #(very long tag ramble incoming oops) #it's also dependent on if i think the character is shippable or not- most of my favs really aren't #i am particularly turned off by most (serious) ships with diavolo in it. they all feel ooc #i just don't think you can write him falling in love or dating somebody and have it be in character like... at all #(with the exception being donatella who i have a whole jumble of thoughts on) #doppio ships are also squicks for me but for different reasons #i find kiraboss the least 'bad' popular diavolo ship in that i find it tolerable but i don't feel like it works as a serious thing #though for a while me and my friends started shipping diavolo with pucci as a joke and i thought it was hilarious #but then i saw a popular artist post serious pucci x diavolo and it kinda ruined it for me sjdfkldsjfk. anyways. #for a non-JJBA fav example this is also the same for ZIM. one of his big things is that he doesn't care much for anyone but himself #except like... GIR. he just doesn't have the personality for a ship to work for me #romance in invader zim is just an odd concept in general i think... #the valentine's day episode introduced a girl irken and had her ''date'' zim and make them the most atrocious pairing ever #just to highlight the absurdity of romance in IZ... but then people started shipping them because. i can only assume they missed the point? #ship what you want but the point of that episode seemed clear to me idk