#because im a sucker for holiday tropes
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Geoff and Duncan :P
Geoff and Duncan for the character ask game!
Sexuality Headcanon:
Geoff is as bi as the day is long. I haven't fully watched ridonculous race but I've seen how he is with Brody. cmon. "I love you, man"/"I'd marry you all over again" the subtext is just text
Duncan....... eh idk. he's straight most of the time when I think of him. though I could see him being closet gay.
Gender Headcanon:
Geoff can be a trans guy purely bc his colour palette is the trans flag. im a simple man with simple tastes.
Duncan gives nb vibes but also he's like canonically transphobic so 🤷 (im joking, mostly)
A ship I have with said character:
Brigeody. Geoff has two hands.
I don't really ship Duncan with anyone but if I had to pick someone it'd be DJ. Duncan would probably make him worse but I think there's a world where DJ can make him better
A BROTP I have with said character:
Gweoff. Their friendship was SO GOOD in that one episode and I'm genuinely sad they dropped it.
I'm the only person in the world who thinks this but I wrote an entire oneshot where Sierra and Duncan are friends and it unironically made me love their hypothetical friendship. (The Ex-Fangirl and the Ex-Con on ao3 if you're curious) I also really loved him and Gwen as friends but I'll save that for another slot
A NOTP I have with said character:
I don't really have a NOTP with Geoff. all his ships range from "Yeah!" to "ehhh whatever" in my opinion. so. yay
Gwuncan. Yeah you knew it was coming. Like. I don't understand, they were so good as friends and there was a whole thing in Action about people assuming they were a thing and Gwen especially hating it, and then suddenly come World Tour they're into each other??? what??? they were so much better as friends Why Couldn't They Have Stayed Friends. and they didn't even get time to act like a couple and then in AS all they do is argue, obsess over Courtney, and then break up so what was even the point. uuuuuuuurhggrgh I know there's people who love this ship. that's totally fine obvs. it's just a ship at the end of the day. but it really grinds my gears.
ANYWAY RANT OVER
Random headcanon:
Geoff owns loads of sunglasses. like so many sunglasses. every time he goes on holiday somewhere, or anywhere with a gift shop, he ALWAYS buys sunglasses. it's an actual problem lol
Duncan makes most/all of his own clothes and accessories. All-Stars floated the idea of him and Zoey sort of being friends, so let's go with that. they can bond over doing DIY together.
General Opinion:
Geoff's pretty cool. Not my favourite, but pretty cool. I liked how they made him more than just the chill party dude, and showed this mean streak of his during TDA. I love a good corruption arc. and Her Real Name Isn't Blaineley was top tier. overall he's pretty good
Duncan is... ehhh. My opinion on him fluctuates. Every time I think I hate him I remember the DJ's bunny incident, or him and Beth in the finals, and every time I start to like him I remember all of TDWT. I guess it boils down to: he definitely has his moments, but most often I'm indifferent to him or he annoys me, and sometimes stuff he does and says really gets under my skin. I do really like how he is in fanon most of the time, because normally I'm a sucker for the "tough guy with a soft side" trope, and TDA was easily the season I liked him most.
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"Being a Melvyn girlie was the worst decision ever" got me right in the feels, cause same.
Uk girlie, absolute Melyvn desert between big tourments France play in cause there's no French coverage here.
Having to scrabble for anything on Tumblr (like you're my literal life support machine here 🥰).
Babygirl's way too private, which, privacy is super important, honestly I understand but he could pull his finger out of his arse and give a sneaky peak, sort the socials out and give his girlies a wee bit more of his sweet sweet life.
Babygirl does though, desperately need a break from the injuries to get back out on the field and give Toulon/France his amazing fucking rugby skills, especially when he ain't fucking it about and giving it his actual heart.
(And supplementing my kickers kink).
"Being a Melvyn girlie was the worst decision ever" AIN'T THAT THE BLOODY TRUTH 🫣
Just could not, not, love babygirl any less now😍
So thank you for putting up with my Melvyn girlie TedTalk ☺️
Listen i have made it my mission to be a melvyn content provider for 3 people in the whole world and i’m happy to do it 🫡
Been there since I think, November 2021??? The best era was definitely the 2022 Six Nations then he signed with Toulouse and it was nightmares on nightmares with 202929 injuries and no play time.
Now im a big sucker for the ‘coming home’ trope when he goes back to his first team (although i don’t forgive toulon dropping him at 16 and breaking his hopes), so I’m actually over the moon to see him there even though he fucks up (kicking the ball on his teammates twice in 30’seconds).
Now the few infos I have about him all comes from interviews of his families (his dad talks too much but he’s just proud of him and wanna share with the world. And it actually makes me go feral because boy was not lucky)
Think boy showed one time his flat in Toulouse in his insta story and then decided to never post anything ever again
Now as a little update, that’s melvyn having his holidays
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i’m the illicit affairs anon from jess’ tumblr and OMG the fic you recommended ugh! chefs kiss, the angst of it all, im a sucker for a cheating trope i’m sorry it just emphasises the soulmatism of peter and mj
u clearly have taste soo if u have any more recommendations i’d love to read some!!!!
xoxo
Hi. You’re too kind. I rec’d that story, (count the seconds) between the thoughts of you, by @michellesbohh and then had to reread it myself last night. Ugh my feeling, it’s probably the most well done of the affair trope I’ve read.
As for more I recommend these.
Half Love by @machiavelien
Harry’s a dick and MJ and Peter are perfect
He was coming back to her by @iwannabeawriter1996
Jealous MJ is my favorite and this fic delivers
To sin with you in silence by @coykoii
Peter’s on his honeymoon and Michelle just got engaged, it’s a ride but PJ will always win. (As they should)
There’s also one that I really liked that involved them breaking up and both being home for the holidays and him screaming about having his girlfriend at May’s house but still being here with her because she’s MJ and for the life of me I can’t find it, which means I must have forgotten to catalog it and I’m so mad (so if anyone knows send me the link pretty please). It’s similar to “He was coming back to her” from above but it’s not that one.
Happy reading 😊
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dnf fic recs !
hi i went through the entire dnf ao3 tag so you dont have to! jk i have a specific fanfic taste (as does everyone), but i read really fast and used that opportunity to read as many dnf fics as i could in a short period of time
i’m sure this is going to be long, so i’ll put it mostly under the cut so i don’t interrupt scrolling lol
okay im going to try to break things up into sections
generally good fics:
got a thing about you (and it won’t go away) by alltimecharlo - dream sends george one of his hoodies. height differences. bets. first meetings. pining. what more could you ask for?
dandelions, poppies and other ways to say i love you by starberrydew - soft. george sees colors. so so much fluff and pining dream
when i’m alone, i’d rather be with you by wishie - god i love identity porn. and coffee shop aus. george moves to america and finds himself for an oddly familiar barista...
roleplaying in the dark is harder than it seems by alienu - laser tag. it’s cute. that is all. very very cute
seconds, minutes, hours, lifetimes by meridies - childhood friends go on a road trip before college and there are feelings
heart and throat, lined with it by fensandmarshes - more softness. sleepy cuddles. short and sweet
dizzy on caffeine by gleaminggreengoggles - typical coffee shop au. very cute. sapnap and bad have had enough of the pining idiots. naturally
angsty-ish- i didn’t plan on this section but found more angst than i realized:
like real people do by meridies - i’ve rec’d this before. i love it. i’m a big fan of realism and this fic is absolutely beautiful, showcasing how damaging the internet and social media really can be
my hands are shaking from holding back from you by lyrasa - good ol’ fwb. not really sad, but it did hurt. very lovely
gone before sunrise by sapphicwritings - another fwb au and wow this one also hurts. it’s currently unfinished by i love it and am praying to the gods that it updates. there’s also a really good fic playlist that the author made. it’s also a college au so
awkward hearts (beating faster and faster) by limerence - one of my favorite fics ever. housemates with angst, but a happy ending (i love it when authors fix what they break). much obliviousness, much rewarding
alternate universes:
press the curves of our smiles together by fensandmarshes, lieyuu - percy jackson au??? i loved this fic (series) so so much. i love their dynamic in this and when you find out george’s godly parent oohoo you’re in for a delight
litany in which certain things are crossed out by lazy_kitkat- probably the best knight dream, king george fic i’ve ever read. i loved the structure. really i loved everything about it
family mode by strawberry_flavoured_tears - minecraft verse where dream and george have kids and it’s so soft
operation mistletoe by meridies - hogwarts au? holiday fic? pining? yes. also george is a former beauxbaton and i didn’t know i needed that
ambedo by solochimmy - another harry potter au. i love this so much i cannot even. featuring dream as a metamorphmagus, changing his hair to george’s favorite color i’m not crying you are
nsfw- i’m exposing myself with this one, please be mindful of tags:
hot sugar by glittering_ant - one of my favorite fics of all time. i’m a sucker for college aus and gd this fic was hot. drunk sex after a party turns to more? sign me up
pretty tears by luckylikeyou - if you want smut, this author is where to go, wow their fics are hot. dream is turned on by crying and george cries a lot. i particularly like this one but they have a lot of good nswf fics
loving you came easily by athasa - it’s an a/b/o fic and i’m not usually a fan of these but i love this one sm. i’m a sucker for the miscommunication roommate combo trope and this captures that perfectly
brownies by bellafeir - baking brownies gets a bit messy for our dear dream and george. one of the tags is getting railed on a counter and if that doesn’t do it for you i don’t know what will. this author also has lots of good nsfw in general
okay this is ridiculously long. will people in even read all of this who knows. i have many more fics to rec lol. maybe i’ll do a part two. but yeah i hope y’all check out these fics as well as all the authors because they’re honestly so talented
i’ve probably missed good fics, but i can assure you that these are all very good. send me asks / dms if you would like to rant about fic with me or just anything dnf
#dreamnotfound#dnf#georgenotfound#dreamwastaken#fanfic#recs#night recs fics#i read way too much fanfic than is good for me#i literally devour fanfic i read so fast and then theres just no more fic to read#can you believe that that's a tag i've used before lol#i hope people enjoy and send these authors love
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hold up… your take on hobi’s hallmark movie fic… go on im listening 👀 (im a huge sucker for ‘A used to like B and now B likes A back but they’re too late because A is already with someone else’ tropes lmao)
I'm very hesitant to expand on this or any idea in that post because I already have so much to write and---
OMG OK IT'S SPILLING OUT ANYWAY UGH HERE WE GO SO GET THIS
Imagine a quieter, shier high school Hobi who largely keeps to himself unless he's with his childhood best friends (six guesses who they are teehee). Everyone except Hobi eventually moves away, and though they stay in touch near-daily via phone, video chats, messages, gaming, etc., they only see each other in person when family events or holidays bring them back to their hometown.
You've moved away as well, having used your successful academic experience to build your career. Feeling a little burned out, you decide to take the remainder of your vacation to spend a whole month at home for the holidays, and to reconnect with your family, and your hometown.
This is how you find yourself struggling to remember Hobi's name while you're at the pharmacy, picking up your father's blood pressure medication refill, in line behind Min (oh god don't do it) Yoongi (NO CHERYL WHY).
You don't know much about Hobi and his circle of friends, and the only reason you remember Yoongi's name is because you were in the same group for your last group project during your senior year.
You reminisce awkwardly but pleasantly with Yoongi before heading home. But Yoongi races to his car, throws his Vitamin D supplements (because he's never in the sun and his deficiency is worse in the winter omg omg omg yoongi) into the passenger seat before starting a group video call.
The boys' voices overlap eagerly and heatedly.
Jimin: (cutting through) Hey! Wouldn’t it be easier if we did this in person?
Hobi: We don't need to be doing this at all! Because, again, for the millionth time, I'm engaged. To be married.
Yoongi: So? What about ME? I didn't listen to all your whining and simping, or embarass myself by asking all your Dream Girl questions during our group project work, only for you NOT to get closure on this!
Hobi: I can't keep doing this with you.
Namjoon: Hobi's right. We're not kids anymore. Our decisions have consequences.
Hobi: Exactly.
Taehyung: And permanence.
Hobi: Thank you!
Jin: So you should take this opportunity for an out from your engagement to that mean, snooty, and, frankly, boring woman, and ask Dream Girl out.
Hobi: GUYS---
Jungkook: (teasing) She still look the same? That sweet, heart-shaped face? (giggling) Still smell like bubble gum?
Jimin: She still do that thing where she scratches her head and leans her neck before flipping her hair?
They all mimic the motion, and Hobi's moaning, rabid reaction to it.
Hobi: STOP!
Yoongi: All that, and more. And she's here for a month.
Hobi: (despite his composure, suddenly nervous) What are you saying?
Yoongi: I'm not saying anything. I'm asking. (smirking) I'm asking if Project Dream Girl is finally a go.
#asks#your asks#HELP ME#anon#project dream girl#oh god it has a title#no no no no no n-#bts fanfiction#bts drabbles#ugh stashing this as a plot bunny#UGHHHHH
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Him As Your Boyfriend (Yoongi Headcanon)
pairing: boyfriend!yoongi x oc/reader
genre: fluff
notes: i haven’t posted proper content in over two months and i’m so sorry y’all, i’m getting back there slowly!
m.list | requested
EVERYDAY LIFE
okay okay
normalise yoongi boyfriend culture
this man is so gentle and patient and all-round angel
who wouldn’t want to fall completely in love with him?
being in love with yoongi is like having a best friend
that’s a little bit more than a friend
so so many inside jokes that are only funny in your company
you’d definitely be having some interesting conversations too
weird topics, serious topics, drunk topics
yoongi is always down to converse
seeing who wakes up first isn’t a game yoongi likes to play
but instead who falls asleep first
you fall asleep early?
no doubt he’s tucking you into those sheets to make sure you’re the cosiest, comfiest you can be
i couldnt make this first segment without mentioning cooking
korea’s resident chef i do believe
no but imagine him preparing a fish he caught himself earlier in the day specially for you
frolically switching video tutorials on how to prepare and slice because it wasn’t the usual kind of fish you guys had
if y’all even like seafood.. ://
you are not
repeat NOT
allowed in the kitchen as hes making you a meal
not even a whiff of whatever he’s stirring up is prohibited
nono instead you have to wait and experience the dish in its full glory in one go
i’m willing to put money on it
that these would be amongst the best meals you’d ever had
and he’d be more than up to wait for one of your meals too
actually, yoongi loves to see the amount of effort you put in to look after him just as he looks after you
yoongi is the type to do anything for somebody close but appreciates being appreciated
his future partner better appreciate him or i’ll be getting involved >:(
he’s a very domestic person
meaning that yoongi seems to love being at home and taking on roles in the house
as well as looking after those who live in it
he’d happily share household chores with you
taking the ones that you struggled with or shyed away from
grocery shopping would be quite interesting
i’m not sure whether he’d push the trolley
or be the one in front picking everything of shelves
either way i don’t think he’d joke around too much
picking a pasta sauce is no laughing matter
HIS GESTURES
tell me if i’m wrong but
the perfect date with yoongi is getting in his car as it’s raining at night
too long past midnight
driving out onto a back road or empty car park
and just cosying to him listening to a playlist he’d compiled for you
having somebody who appreciates music as much as him is important
and so yoongi would watch your face to see how you reacted to each song
and eventually swapped out those that were less welcome with different suggestions
and waited patiently for the next late rainy night to let you hear them
even cuter if he was slowly narrowing it down to a wedding song :((
although i’m sure he’s more than capable
i never think of grand dates when i think of yoongi
i’d want to stay in with him
or at least go to a place that was comfortable
no fancy attire or menus with dishes neither of you could pronounce
hopping across local farm shops and collecting gingerbread to taste
finding a rustic cafe by a lake or mountain that sold exclusive homemade biscuits and warm drinks
he’s a fireside boyfriend
one that gives you warmth just by being with
but also in the sense that
yoongi finds value in homemade, heartfelt gestures
whether that’s searching and perfecting new cookie recipes with you
or just decorating the house for any holidays you may share together
those kinds of dates would always top the flashy cars and michelin star restaurants
i also think he’s a really good travel buddy
but vacations where it was mostly self catered or you had more freedom than perhaps a packaged plan
new zealand yoongi was a cultural reset
so think about somewhere like switzerland in the winter
or canada!!
anywhere where you could hide away together in a remote cabin
that’s a yoongi vacation
HIS ATTITUDES
now don’t attack me
but yoongi is not the mafia leader tumblr has convinced you he is
(im a sucker for the mafia au trope too but hear me out)
this man would protect you at all costs
but i don’t think direct confrontation is really his thing
we forget sometimes he’s definitely an introverted member
if it ever came to somebody making inappropriate comments towards you or unecessary actions
that’s when i think he’d intervene
but otherwise yoongi is more the type to dissolve the situation
lead you away
and go back if he really needed to
it goes without saying that he’s polite
would hold a door open for ages just so somebody else wouldn’t have to pull it open
but i don’t think he’s necessarily make a large commotion about it
he was being polite because he was being polite
not to impress you or purposely show you he cares
because it just went without saying
which i think is much more genuine that consciously holding a door or offering a hand
#bts#min yoongi#yoongi#bangtan#yoongi imagine#yoongi fluff#bts reactions#bts imagines#bts one shot#bts drabble#request#bts headcanon#bts mtl#min suga#suga#yoongi reaction#yoongi boyfriend#fluff#bts boyfriend
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my god so after years i come back to react to your answer, but you got my brain enough to walk through all these posts (i was always like 🤝🤝🤝🤝🤝 every time something was said) ,,,
EVERYTHING is fucking perfect your Ravenclaw brains bring me dOWN (RAVENCLAW ANON YOU REALLY ARE ON TOP) (as fellow Gryffindor I can only sit and nod quietly lol)
no really, between the kfc hc, the potions lessons, the relationship with nanami, THE SHIT MAHITO, the tournament, AARGH I FALL I SAID it's incredible I think about this ua day and night 😭 (and also im happy that you agree with hufflepuff nanami bc imagine him being in this house just make me feel like- 🥺)
but lol so i didn't sit idly by and i'm still looking forward to your ua hp updates
(my favorite hc is the slow burn of the relationship with nanami ,,, AND HIS FUCKING DOUBTS ABOUT MAHITO, MAN WHO CALCULATES EVEN THAT FUCKING PSYCHOPATH WHILE YOU EXIST, I can't take this boy anymore)
also I wanted to evoke how much I feel out of place since in my head it's gojo who is in Slytherin and geto in Gryffindor I DON'T KNOW GRYFFONDOR GETO JUST KILLED ME SO STRONG then I talked about it with friends and - anyway from dint of reading you I come to appreciate him more at Slytherin (especially if it allows a healthy and beautiful interaction between Slytherin and Hufflepuff because geto and nanami are just made to make me fall)
nanami and his muggle bakery made me cry (no kidding ,,, I had just reread chapter 120 too : D)
thinking that each new recipe will have to wait until the holidays to be tested, at the request of nanami who just thinks the reader has the best advice ( but she just try to notre blush behind his eyes-)
you were talking about metamorphmagus! mahito and squib! toji, I want to add that geto and gojo will learn to be animagus and shoko would be right there like "wow so cool" but thinking that being mediwizard just >>>
(and I have already thought about possible legilimens and occlumens but I want to read your opinion on them first)
currently thinking about the fact that ijichi would be a ✨virtuoso✨ in all subjects where you should not touch the wand, and would be one of the few to put up with professor bins lol
(also here I made a FUCKING list on all the subjects in which each one would excel or not and I realize that I do really useless things sometimes-)
an idea just pop-up in my head 🤠 the reader or nanami would be really good at astronomy and when one of them decides to wear his balls and ask the other to help him with an assignment, they just end up by lying next to each other, gazing at the stars and heart both beating and calm
I have already talked too much, but i want to repeat myself: thank you again for the pearls you provide, really! these two universes together are so sweet 🥺✨(and sorry for language mistakes yoops)
good luck with your studies, and have a great night / evening / day! ✨
Hi I’m sorry this took a while to respond to but I’m so glad you sent this wonderful ask (so thankful for your Gryffindor brain!)
I’m so glad you like the hcs!! I also cannot stop thinking about this au. And I’m incredibly grateful for your suggestion about Nanami being a Hufflepuff because now I can’t unsee it (even when I see fanart of him in ravenclaw robes, because all I can imagine is him with yellow robes now haha)
I wish I had time to write these ideas out! Maybe I’ll write a snippet soon (I keep on thinking about either writing a scene of reader and Nanami during a potions lesson or them spending a summer day in the muggle world jdjdksksk)
Ahhh yay I’m so glad you like the slowburn aspect!! I’m a sucker for the mutual pining and the friends to lovers trope so I think a slowburn encapsulates both concepts pretty well! And LMAO yeah I love how even in this au Mahito is still an annoying presence in Nanami’s life💀
Ahh Gryffindor Geto is such an interesting concept I don’t think I’ve seen that one yet! but yes Hufflepuff Nanami and Slytherin Geto is an idea I can’t wait to flesh out more, I really wish we had more interactions with them in the manga! I guess that’s what fanfiction is for haha😌
Ahhh no the dreadful ch 120😭😭yes Nanami and his muggle bakery is a constant source of joy for me as I try to forget ch 120 exists💀💀idk just teenager Nanami worrying about mundane tasks instead of fighting curses makes me feel much better LOL.
Aw Nanami thinking reader has the best advice has me🥺🥺 when reader visits him, they’re incredibly excited to try Nanami’s new recipes. And you can’t tell me that Nanami doesn’t bake them a cake for their birthday, even if he has to wait until the summer to celebrate it
OMG Animagus how could I forget?! I wonder what their forms would be! I’ve seen so many fanart of Gojo cat so I can’t stop thinking he’d be a white fluffy cat or some other feline💀💀Geto is a bit tougher to place and I can’t easily think of one. I keep on thinking of a dragon for him but that would be incredibly large compared to Gojo’s cat😭💀
Shoko would be the best mediwizard there is no doubt about that😌
Oooh possible legilimens and occlumens is such an interesting concept!! Here are my current thoughts but I think they’ll be subject to change as I think about it more:
Both are incredibly hard to accomplish, so these would definitely be a trait among the best of the best students.
Gojo: I see Occlumency (maybe because I think of his infinity), though he’s trying to become better at Legilimency.
Geto: excels at both, but great at Legilimency (I think this would be an interesting foil with Gojo. Considering that Akutami said that Geto was Gojo’s moral compass and those two were very close, I feel like Geto can read Gojo like a book sometimes. Not to mention that Geto/Getwo are extremely charismatic and always seem to be two steps ahead/know what others are thinking and their weak points are)
Mahito: both as well because his role in jjk involves him being aware of his soul and the soul of others
Nanami: Occlumency. I keep on thinking about how he subconsciously protected his soul from Mahito during his first fight. Although I can see the argument for Legilimency, perhaps for his ability to read people pretty well (because he makes astute observations relatively quickly)
Yeah atm those are the only ones I can think of but I’m curious to hear your thoughts!!
HAHA that’s so accurate for Ijichi I love it!! He would be a teacher’s pet as well💀💀
Wait I would LOVE to see that list if you ever decide to post it!! I think I wrote down some classes that the students would excel at or not but I have to find the list it’s buried in some Google doc💀once I find it I’ll be sure to post it here!
OMG I LOVE this potential astronomy scene my heart is so soft🥺and if reader is even feeling a bit more courageous, they inch a bit closer to Nanami as they seek warmth from the ocasional chill in the night. the strange but soothing combined scents of his cologne, bread, and book pages are enough to make reader comfortable, eyes slowly closing as they try to listen to what Nanami is saying about a particular constellation. But before they know it, they find themselves falling asleep, their head idly placed on Nanami’s shoulder as they peacefully doze off. Nanami freezes, his calm heartbeat picking up quickly as he realizes the current situation. But then he smiles softly, admiring reader’s face cast in the moonlight. It isn’t long until he finds his own eyes closing as he takes a quick slumber as well.
Please, you can never talk too much no worries (I’m the one who rambles a ton here haha)! Thank you for sharing your lovely ideas in this au, it’s certainly made my heart so so full🥺 (and def don’t worry about the language mistakes, your English is wonderful!)
Good luck with your studies as well! Have a lovely day/night💕
#Vanessa rambles#jjk x hp au#nanamin rights#I LOVE THIS SM#this au is one of my favorite ones jjst makes me incredibly happy#thank you again for contributing these wonderful ideas#the astronomy hc is seriously one of my fave ideas for this au I must write a scene depicting it!!#narustalgiie#just rereading this made my morning ugh#long post#long ask
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Never-ending survey: Lareine
RULES: Repost, do not reblog. Tag 10 blogs!
Tagged by @blood-of-the-dragons & @under-the-blood-moonlight 🖤
Tagging: @umbralich @vylette-elakha @lavender-hemlock @archon-ffxiv @illia-ast @torr-sceadu @istolin @rael-eryut @alun-ura & @cyrillien
BASICS.
FULL NAME: Lareine Kira, Iris Ymir (formerly).
NICKNAME: Young miss (by Arsene), Patient (by Varg).
AGE: 31
BIRTHDAY: 13th Sun of the 4th Umbral Moon
ETHNIC GROUP: Viera (Veena)
NATIONALITY: Othard, Skatay Range
LANGUAGE/S: Common, hingan & Ishgardian
SEXUAL ORIENTATION : Lesbian
ROMANTIC ORIENTATION : Lesbian (Iris), uncertain (Lareine).
RELATIONSHIP STATUS: Its complicated...
HOME TOWN / AREA: Ymir, Skatay Range
CURRENT HOME: Pillars, Ishgard
PROFESSION: Assistant to Varg Blacksoul, thief (formerly).
PHYSICAL.
HAIR: Short, raven-black hair with purple highlights.
EYES: Light purple, but appears almost black in dim lighting.
FACE: Inverted triangle-shaped face, and a rather sharp nose.
LIPS: Bow-shaped lips, usually painted purple.
COMPLEXION: Morbidly pale, with a hint of purple.
BLEMISHES: Dark circles under her eyes.
SCARS: Five scars from stab-wounds on her torso (Three on abdomen, two on the left from her heart). Several smaller scars run all over her arms and right shoulder (Most of them hard to notice because of her pale skin-tone).
TATTOOS: Purple markings tattooed around her eyes. Rose-thorns and purple iris-flowers on her left thigh.
HEIGHT: 178cm
WEIGHT: Slightly underweight.
BUILD: Slender & feminine. Somewhat toned arms, legs and abdomen.
FEATURES: A beauty-mark below the left corner of her lips, long and sharp stiletto nails, usually painted black.
ALLERGIES: None.
USUAL HAIR STYLE: Seems to stay as a spiky mess, no matter what she does with it. A single braid on the left, sometimes decorated with couple of purple pearls.
USUAL FACE LOOK : Impish smile, wide-eyes or slight pout (Lareine), pissed-off, tired or cynical (Iris)
USUAL CLOTHING: Black or purple blouse with a corset, either long skirt or hotpants, long coat or a leather jacket & high-heeled boots.
PSYCHOLOGY.
FEAR/S: Being tied down / restricted, locked doors, losing control.
ASPIRATION/S: To one day be able to pay back to one man who took her life away, and to another who gave it back.
POSITIVE TRAITS: Extremely loyal towards those she holds dear, adaptable, witty.
NEGATIVE TRAITS: Clingy, childish & whiny (Lareine persona), trust issues, violent & unpredictable (Iris persona)
TEMPERAMENT: Sanguine (Lareine), Choleric (Iris).
SOUL TYPE/S: Artisan
ANIMALS: Black cat.
VICE HABIT/S: Rather heavy drinker and a stress-smoker.
FAITH: Not much in the religions.
GHOSTS?: Absolutely. Living and the dead ones.
AFTERLIFE?: As long as its not some boring, white space with nothing interesting to do.
REINCARNATION?: Might be interesting.
POLITICAL ALIGNMENT: Does not understand rat’s shit about politics.
EDUCATION LEVEL: Street-smart.
FAMILY.
FATHER : Unknown father.
MOTHER : Irene Ymir (Deceased).
SIBLINGS : Possibly half-siblings from father’s side.
EXTENDED FAMILY: Varg Blacksoul (Doctor / caretaker), Arsene Dreadeois (Butler), Silke Doomflare (Best friend, possible love interest).
NAME MEANING/S: Queen in “ishgardian” (Lareine), name of a flower (Iris).
HISTORICAL CONNECTION?: N/A
FAVORITES.
BOOK: Old fairytales.
DEITY: N/A
HOLIDAY: All Saints’ Wake.
MONTH: The months of midsummer & fall.
SEASON: Fall.
PLACE: A victorian style mansion, a room docorated with old dolls.
WEATHER: The gust of wind and the first drops of rain, before a thunderstorm.
SOUND / S: Crackling of a fireplace, grand piano, rain drumming on the roof and windows.
SCENT / S: Incence, fruity / flowery perfumes & rain.
TASTE / S: Whiskey, sweets & rolanberry pie.
FEEL / S: Soft fur, skin-to-skin contact, hot bath.
ANIMAL / S: Anything furry, especially foxes & cats. She is a huge animal-lover overall.
NUMBER: Does not care for numbers.
COLORS: Black, all the shades of purple, violet, silver & red.
EXTRA.
TALENTS: Adaptability in different situations, lockpicking, speed & agility, self-learned with daggers & trained with ringblades, drawing.
BAD AT : Teamwork, manners, staying focused on one task, reading, controlling her feelings.
TURN ONS: Wanderlust, confidence, sense of humor, tattoos.
TURN OFFS: Untidyness, celf-centeredness, rasism.
HOBBIES: Bathing, drawing, people-watching.
TROPES: Guess she is a weird mix of femme fatale, dark lady & hopeless romantic..
QUOTES : “My Varg-Varg, my knight in shining armor.”
“How dare you?! How friggin’ dare you, you creep?!”
“Yesss...”
“The anal what?”
MUN QUESTIONS.
Q1 : If you could write your character your way in their own movie, what would it be called, what style would it be filmed in, and what would it be about?
A1 : The name of the movie would be “My name is Iris”. It would be a movie about her time in hospital. Pretty much the recent backstory, turned into a film, where the reality and events going inside her head would mix into a twisted nightmare.
Something along the lines of Rob Zombie’s film “Lords of Salem”!
Q2 : What would their soundtrack/score sound like?
A2 : Something eerie, with bells and such. A music that would fit into haunted house, full of creepy dolls. Bloodborne & Alice, Madness Returns soundtracks are quite spot on!
Q3 : Why did you start writing this character?
A3 : I think the very first reason was that I somewhat lost touch with my old character. A bounty hunter named Fenris. I liked her, but somehow she did not feel like my own. So I started from scratch!
I guess Lareine is one of those children who are not planned, but still end up being much loved. She ended up being my dearest character of all time, and the one I can relate most.
Q4 : What first attracted you to this character?
A4 : I guess Im kind of a sucker for dragic types with an attitude and a hint of sillyness to balance it all.
Q5 : Describe the biggest thing you dislike about your muse.
A5 : She tends to be a huge extrovert, while Im more of an introvert. So writing her can get bit “draining” time to time.
Q6 : What do you have in common with your muse?
A6 : Fashion sense! We also have similar sense of humor, and as I have mentioned before, some of her problems mirror certain events in my life.
Q7 : How does your muse feel about you?
A7 : We would most likely get along! If we lived under a same foor, one of us would end up dead though...
Q8 : What characters does your muse have interesting interactions with ?
A8 : While Lareine can get along with almost anyone, for Iris, I think the most interesting characters to interact with are the ones that can match her temperament!
It might also be interesting to match her up with some nobility, because of her lack of manners.
Pretty much anything that will lead into juicy disasters, in one way or another!
Q9 : What gives you inspiration to write your muse ?
A9 : I mostly get my inspiration from music, soulsborne- and American McGee’s Alice-games, I mentioned earlier. Sometimes also from movies, if they happen to have some beautiful scenery. Rare these days, but the Nun was some serious eye-candy!
Q10 : How long did this take you to complete ?
A10 : I dont know, as I made this on side with other stuff... Too long?
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here comes the jackpot question in advance
summary: The one where Dan thought Phil hated him, so he hated Phil right back.
wc: 7.5k
tags: teenager au, new year’s eve, enemies to friends to lovers (in a way)
tws: underaged drinking, swearing (lots of it,,)
a/n: i wrote this lil diddy in the space between christmas and new year’s, aka when time doesnt feel real. my only betas were spellcheck and grammarly so sry if there are mistakes. im a sucker for enemies to lovers and teenager tropes,, what can i say.
read it on ao3 if that’s more your jam
Of all the places in the world, the last place he wants to be seen is McDonald’s. Dan’s exhausted from work and he just wants some chicken nuggets and an iced coffee, some comfort food to get him through the rest of the day. It’s super busy, so the possibility of him seeing someone from school is high, unfortunately, but he’s just come off of work which is killing him slowly so the risk is worth it. While he waits in the queue he mindlessly scrolls through Twitter.
It’s been a pretty fine holiday, as far as things go. Not too exciting, but nothing traumatic or particularly harrowing, either, which in his family is somewhat surprising. And it’s been nice getting to avoid schoolwork and classmates for a while, as the halls of sixth form can be crowded with some right pricks. In fact, there’s one prick in particular he hasn’t missed one bit, and as he sees him on his Twitter feed he’s reminded of how glad he is not to have to be in his presence every day.
The only reason he doesn’t have Phil Lester blocked and muted is because he doesn’t want to seem petty. All of his friends seem to like Phil just fine, but they also know that Dan isn’t exactly his number one fan. However, the last thing Dan wants is to cause drama where there doesn’t need to be, and a single tap of the ‘block’ icon could put him in a world of unnecessary trouble. But that doesn’t change the fact that Dan Howell, from the bottom of his heart, hates Phil Lester.
Though, surprisingly, no one else seems to. It seems like Dan’s the only one who can see past his persona of Mr. Perfectly Quirky and Funny and into who he really is. He’s not that funny, and he acts like he’s the smartest kid in the entire world but surely, he must not know everything, despite his best attempts to make everyone think so. Seriously, he’s always the first to raise his hand in chem, spewing facts left and right, which makes him the worst lab partner in the entire world. Phil always has to double check Dan’s work even though he’s right on all his arithmetic ninety-five percent of the time, he always makes some comment about how Dan’s handwriting is getting messier by the week, and worst of all, he’s never wrong. That’s what sucks about it. Phil Lester is never wrong. He’s perfect.
And he makes Dan feel like an idiot. Sometimes, it feels like he’s going out of his way to purposely paint Dan as this huge moron, which he knows he isn’t, but it’s hard not to feel that way around Phil. Perfect Phil, with the perfect hair and perfect life and the brightest eyes and the best jokes, who always manages to make Dan trip over his words and say the wrong thing, something stupid. He's always quick to point out Dan’s mistakes. Which, obviously, makes him feel great.
Yeah, well, out of sight, out of mind. Dan scrolls past and tries not to think about him. Why do people even retweet his stuff, anyways? He’s not that funny, but the whole school seems to think he’s some sort of comedy king or something, which gets old really fast, in Dan’s opinion. He’s a smartass, that’s what he is.
Dan finally gets his order in and moves to the side to wait for his food, when the voice he least expected to hear sounds from behind him.
“Dan?”
Sure enough, Dan turns around, and Phil sort of materializes before him, in a hoodie and skinny jeans and, funnily enough, glasses. Dan’s not a confrontational person. He’s not. Never has been. He tends to internalize his seething rage against Phil. Usually, it works. “Hi there,” Dan replies, and thus continues his long list of dumb things he says in front of Phil.
“Small world, eh?”
Dan shrugs. “I suppose.”
Silence. Then, “You getting food?”
“Yep.” Dan takes a breath. “You?”
“Yeah. But not for me. My brother’s been a bit under the weather since boxing day and he asked that I go get him some extra crappy food to help him feel better.”
Of course Phil’s not getting McDonald’s for himself. He’s way too perfect, way too healthy, for that. When doesn’t he have a pedestal to stand on? “Cool,” Dan says instead. “I mean, not about your brother. That sucks, I’m sorry.”
Phil laughs. “It’s fine, don’t worry about it. How’s your break been?”
“Alright. A bit dull, I guess. But sometimes it’s better if nothing happens rather than something bad, right?”
“I agree. You never know when loose cannon racist Uncle Joe is gonna ruin Christmas dinner, right?”
“I’ve been there one too many times.”
“Same.”
Could it be true? Could Dan actually be getting through a conversation with Phil Lester without making a fool of himself or wanting to strangle him to death or both? Only time would tell, he reasons, but still. So far, so okay. “Get anything good for Christmas?” Phil asks.
“My brother and I got a Switch for Christmas, and we’ve both been playing it a lot. At least, when I’m not at work.”
Phil gasps. “No way! We did too!”
“That’s awesome,” Dan replies, a grin spreading across his face. “What games do you have?”
“So far we’ve just got Super Mario Odyssey, but we also really wanna get the new Zelda game so my brother can play it before he has to go back to uni.”
“I hear it’s amazing,” says Dan. “We want to get that as well.”
“Maybe if we both play it we can compare notes and stuff.”
“Yeah, maybe.” This is easily one of the longest conversations he’s ever had with Phil, and certainly the only one where he didn’t feel like self-destructing out of pure annoyance at Phil’s stupid face. The longest he’d gone without seeming like a massive idiot. Maybe there’s something about Phil wearing glasses that makes him easier to get on with.
“So, any New Year’s plans?”
“Well, I’m going to my friend Chris’ for New Year’s Eve. Since his birthday is so close, he always has a party then.” Okay, Dan, stop talking. It always really bothered him when people talked about their plans in front of others who weren’t invited. “It’s gonna be super cool, you should totally come, I mean, if you don’t have plans.” What the fuck are you doing? “He’s gonna have alcohol and stuff, too, and it’ll be legal, well, for him at least, and obviously he’ll have, like, real food too.” Are you done now, moron? “Anyways, yeah, I’m sure he’d be happy to have you, if you were interested. I mean, you probably already have stuff planned, I’m sure.” He waits for his dumb tongue to stop betraying him, and eventually, he really does stop talking, exhaling slowly. Dan, one day your mouth is going to get you killed.
Phil raises his eyebrows, but he wears a huge grin. “That sounds like fun, Dan. I’ll totally come.”
Well, Dan was eventually bound to do or say something stupid, right? It wouldn’t be a real conversation with Phil unless it ended with Phil’s superior smirk and Dan’s sinking feeling of inadequacy. “Great, cool, see you then,” Dan says. Oh my god, you fucking idiot.
“Phil!” a guy from the front counter announces.
“Oh, that’ll be my food,” Phil says, still wearing the same stupid grin on his stupid face. He pushes through the small crowd and examines his bag. Dan, in the meantime, stares back at his phone. What did he just do? It’s not as though he has a great track record for getting along with Phil, and the last thing he wants to do is ruin his friend’s party. And besides, since when did he have permission to invite random people from school to any of his friend’s parties, birthday or otherwise? Was it not a teeny bit presumptuous of him to say ‘Oh Chris won’t mind another person in his flat, where he’ll have to accommodate more space for you as well as getting even more food and drinks?’ This was a mistake. Maybe it’s not too late to rescind the invitation, to make up a fake story about how the party isn’t happening anymore. “This yours?” Phil asks, pulling Dan out of his thoughts. He hands him a bag and a coffee.
Dan grimaces. “Yeah, I guess it is.”
“You must not have heard your name,” he explains. “It was next to mine, so I just picked it up.”
“Cheers,” Dan replies, but all he wants to do is melt into the floor and forget the past five minutes ever happened.
“Well, I’ve gotta run,” says Phil. “But I’ll see you New Year’s Eve, yeah?”
Now or never, Howell. “Uh, yeah. Great.”
“Cool. Bye, then!” He flashes Dan one last friendly smile before leaving. Of course, on top of it all, he gets the last word.
---
Since there’s not a lot Dan can do about it now, the next day he rings Chris to tell him about his grave mistake, to at least attempt to be a better friend.
“What’s up?” greets Chris upon answering. “Still coming to the party tomorrow, right?”
“About that,” Dan replies, biting his nails. “I kinda invited someone yesterday, is that okay? I know space can be tight but I promise I didn’t really mean to, and if you say no it’s fine, I just--”
“Dan, I’m gonna stop you right there.” He can practically hear the smirk in Chris’ voice, and he already feels a bit daft. “You’re totally fine, I promise. The more the merrier. Who’d you invite, if I might ask?”
Deep breaths. There’s no way he can phrase this without sounding like an idiot, so he might as well bite the bullet now. “Uh, you know Phil Lester, right?”
Chris actually laughs, which Dan half expected, because everyone knows they don’t like each other. Although, to be fair, he didn’t think Chris cared. “That’s who you invited?” he manages to choke out between giggles.
“Yeah, I know, shocker. Like I said, I didn’t mean to, I just felt bad because I mentioned you and stuff. It’s okay if you say no.”
“I didn’t, uh.” Chris stops. He releases another little giggle before continuing. “I didn’t mean to laugh, at least, not at you.”
“Oh, gee, thanks.” Dan rolls his eyes, though Chris obviously can’t see.
“It’s just kinda funny, because I already invited him, and as far as I know he already said he was coming.”
Dan’s eyes widen. “What the fuck?” he says, before he can stop himself. “I mean, no. Sorry, that’s not what I meant. Why did you invite him?”
“I dunno, we have Lit together and we got to talking about the break and I invited him to my party. Why did you invite him?”
“I already told you, it was a complete accident, and obviously I didn’t know he was already coming, otherwise I wouldn’t have, clearly.” Dear Christ, was he doomed to make a fool of himself every single time he was in front of Phil? Maybe the safest course of action would be to just never say anything to him or in front of him ever again. That still left the possibility of him physically doing something stupid, but at least he could minimize the damage.
“Well, either way, Phil’s already coming, so no need to worry. Anyone else you want to invite who I invited myself? PJ maybe? Or Hazel?”
“I’m fine, thanks,” Dan responds through gritted teeth. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Great! See ya!” Chris hangs up, and Dan can hear him laughing.
It doesn’t make sense. Why didn’t Phil say anything yesterday? Did he derive pleasure in seeing Dan make an idiot of himself? How was Dan supposed to know he and Chris were friends? It wasn’t fair, it so wasn’t fair. Can Dan not have just one day where he doesn’t make a complete joke of himself?
No, not where Phil’s involved. As long as Phil is there, Dan isn’t safe from being the laughingstock of the universe.
---
December thirty first comes around, and a big part of Dan wants to just pretend he’s sick and stay home, because he can’t stand to be around Phil or even Chris, frankly, after embarrassing himself so profusely. But that would only make him seem like a coward, and Chris would make some smartass remark to Phil and make Dan seem foolish without him even being there, so he drudges himself over to Chris’ flat, despite his wishes, and hopes for the best. For all the good that’ll do him.
Dan buzzes into Chris’ place (by now he knows the code) and treks up the stairs. Chris answers the door before he can knock and shouts, “Dan! I’m so glad you could make it!” He leads him inside. “Everyone! Dan is here!”
‘Everyone’ shouts a chorus of slurred hoorays. So the drinking has already commenced. He greets a few people, saying hi to Hazel and PJ and Louise who are deep in a very loud conversation about the new Star Wars movie, and Tom and Jack, who are locked in perhaps the most intense game of go fish Dan’s ever seen. He gets some crisps and migrates over to the couch, where he collapses. He’d been working all day long; he’s actually kind of exhausted, and doesn’t feel like socializing, especially considering how sober he is compared to everyone else. He closes his eyes. It’s too much right now.
“Hey, stranger.” Dan opens his eyes and there sits Phil, on the other side of the sofa. Great. Just what he fucking needed right now.
“Hi,” he replies.
“You seem tired.”
“I was working overtime today. I kinda don’t want to be here, if I’m honest.”
“Well, I’m glad you’re here,” Phil says, and he smiles, and it’s so genuine, too genuine, just like everything Phil does, so overly thoughtful and perfect. “Get the new Zelda game?”
“Haven’t had time.”
Phil nods. “Me neither.”
Here’s what Dan doesn’t get: Why is Phil being so nice to him all of a sudden? He usually teases Dan for getting answers wrong in class or in the labs or for his messy penmanship or whatever else he chooses after spinning the things-to-make-fun-of-dan-for wheel. He’s the basic definition of a walking dick, though no one else seems to see that, and he has no reason to be nice to Dan. So, what’s changed? Maybe he’s still feeling post-holiday forgiveness or good tidings or whatever else. Maybe he’s planning to lure Dan into a false sense of security before yelling at him for his dumb hair that he didn’t feel like straightening or his old car or the fact that he foolishly invited him to Chris’ house even though he already had every intention of going. Or maybe you think too much.
“Is work going okay?” asks Phil.
“I suppose. It’s not fun but it could be worse, and at the end of the day, a paycheck’s a paycheck. Can’t complain.”
“Right.” Phil smiles. They sit in silence for a moment, listening to the music. At any moment, their truce could come toppling down, Dan realizes. “Thanks for inviting me, by the way.”
Dan rolls his eyes. “Yeah, well, Chris told me you were already coming, so.”
Phil smiles sheepishly, looking down at his shoes. “He did?”
“Yep. Thanks for the memo, by the way. Would have been nice to know before I, ya know, invited you to a party you were already going to, like a moron.” And just like that, the truce has ended.
“Hey! In my defense, I was really surprised that you did that, and I had no idea what to say, because it was really nice of you.” He shakes his head a little bit. “I just kind of went along with it. You weren’t, I mean, it wasn’t…” he stops. “It wasn’t moronic. Not at all. It was sweet.”
“Oh, that makes me feel loads better,” Dan scoffs. “Look, next time you wanna make a fool out of me, at least have the dignity to tell me to my face that I’m being an idiot.” Christ, he didn’t mean to sound like such an asshole. Why can’t you ever say anything right?
And, what’s worse, Phil actually looks hurt. “You weren’t a fool,” he insists. “You aren’t one, okay? And that wasn’t my intention at all.”
Right, Dan, there’s your cue to shut up now. “Oh, really? Because it feels like every time I talk you, all you want to do is make me feel like I’m nothing, like I’m a fucking idiot. So, excuse me if I thought this was just another one of your secret schemes to turn me into the laughingstock of the century.” He knows he needs to stop talking, but a huge part of him feels good for finally standing up to Phil for once in his life.
“I’ve never purposely tried to make you feel like an idiot, Dan, I promise.” His voice remains surprisingly even. “I’m sorry if you felt that way.”
Dan stares at the floor, hoping if he says nothing he can’t possibly say the wrong thing. “Me, a secret schemer?” Phil continues. “Honestly? You’re the one who doesn’t like me, Dan. I’ve been nothing but nice to you ever since we met but you don’t want to accept it, for whatever reason. Did you honestly think I was trying to trick you, or something?” Great. Perfect. Dan the Fucking Idiot strikes again. “Okay, whatever, don’t respond to me. But I wish we could be friends, Dan. You make up all these stories in your head about how much I hate you or whatever but they’re not true. They’re so far from the truth.”
“Well, great, I’m still the idiot, then.” Dan sighs and sinks into the cushions. “I’m sorry for yelling at you.”
“No, I’m sorry, Dan,” replies Phil. “I’m sorry for lying to you about the party. Believe me, I was the one who felt like an idiot afterwards. I was way too awkward to tell you the truth so I kind of just didn’t say anything and hoped for the best. Which clearly didn’t work.”
Dan actually smiles at that, just a bit. “No, it did not,” he agrees.
“Can we just, like, start over?”
“Sure, yeah.”
“Cool.”
“Come on,” Phil prompts, sitting up. “Let’s go get something to drink. You look like you need it.”
Dan rubs his eyes and rises to his feet. “You have no idea.”
---
So it takes Dan vodka and coke to warm up to the idea of maybe being friends with Phil, but who could blame him? Everything’s happening so fast; Phil’s dragging him to the kitchen and talking to him like a pal as if the past ten minutes, or even the past few months, haven’t happened. Phil pours the bottle of vodka into a cup of soda and asks Dan what his favorite TV shows are and it makes no sense.
They’re too different, Dan always thought. That’s why they never got on, because they were so different they had no hope of ever understanding each other. It was a fruitless quest. But maybe they’re not. Phil gets a refill on his drink as well and laughs a bit and remarks that he forgot to ask Dan what he wanted, he just assumed he’d have the same thing Phil was having. Dan assures him that it’s fine and this is probably what he would have made for himself too and, maybe they’re not that different.
They move back to the couch and try to ignore the fact that everyone’s staring at them, and Dan really can’t blame them as they did just kind of have a loud fight a few minutes ago. The first sip of the drink doesn’t go down well, it never does, but it gets easier and easier and pretty soon Dan’s already starting to feel better. He knows this can’t last, because he has to drive home in about four and a half hours but for now he can pretend like the future isn’t coming. Instead of thinking about that, he and Phil just talk, they just sit on the couch and talk and it feels different and nice. That’s what he really can’t get over, most of all. Who knew Phil would actually turn out to be a nice person?
After a while, Chris decides to turn his music up, and Dan and Phil kind of have to shout at each other to be heard. “Okay, so can I just ask,” Phil starts, frowning slightly. “Why, uh, why don’t you like me? Or why didn’t you like me?”
Not really the question Dan wanted to hear, after trying to turn his opinion about Phil around. “I don’t dislike you.”
“That’s a lie and we both know it.”
Dan sighs. “Fine. It’s because you don’t like me.”
“I like you,” he insists. “I’ve always liked you.”
“You don’t really act like it.”
That stops Phil short. “Well, in my defense, you’re pretty easy to tease about stuff.”
“Hey!” Dan exclaims. “That’s not very nice.”
“Trust me, it’s not a bad thing.” Phil smiles a little bit. He’s got a nice smile. He should do that more often. “I only do it because…”
“Because why?”
“Because nothing.” He crosses his arms. “Be serious, why don’t you like me?”
Dan frowns. “Well, okay, it’s just, like…” Don’t mess this up, don’t mess this up. “You’re just so fucking perfect, like all the time. You come here and you’re the new kid but you make friends effortlessly because you’re perfect and you’re smart and always say the right answers in chem which infuriates me because I used to be that kid that always knew everything but you waltzed into class and you were always right and suddenly I knew nothing . Every single day you come to class, you make me feel so stupid because you’re so smart and your hair is perfectly straight and exactly what I wish my hair looked like, and you’re just as tall, if not taller than me but you manage to make it look good, and you’re always up there on your high horse and I feel inadequate around you all the time. And it, like, never made sense to me that other people couldn’t see how too perfect you are.”
It all comes out in a complete rush, before Dan can stop himself. Instantly he knows he’s overshared, as Phil winces when Dan looks at him expectantly, waiting for an answer. “I’m not perfect,” Phil finally says. “I can’t believe you think I’m perfect.”
“Well, can you blame me? I mean, look at yourself. You weren’t even at McDonald’s for you, you were getting food for your brother. Kind, thoughtful, healthy and conscientious Phil.”
Phil just shakes his head. “I can’t believe that’s why you don’t like me, because I’m too ‘perfect.’” He does air quotes around that last word.
“Whatever,” Dan mumbles. “I feel embarrassed even though I also feel like I’m right.”
“I’m furthest thing from perfect,” Phil protests. “I swear.”
“Okay, name one imperfection of yours, I dare you.”
“Fine.” Phil crosses his arms, accepting the challenge. “That day, when I went to McDonald’s. It, I…” He takes a sip of his drink before continuing. “Well, my brother wanted food, but my mom wouldn’t get it for him, and he doesn’t trust me to drive around anymore so he drove the car there, but waited in the parking lot for me to get the food, because he didn’t want to come inside himself.”
“What’s your point?”
“My parents won’t let me drive anymore, because I’ve failed my driving test three times and one time I was driving around and almost got in an accident because I’m literally the shittiest driver in the entire universe.” He sighs, and glances at Dan. “So. Strike one. I’m not perfect.”
“To be fair, no one passes their driving test the first time around. You’ll have to do better than that.”
“Okay. Fine. I wear contacts.”
“Yeah, well, I already guessed that. I saw you in glasses, remember?”
Phil’s face turns a brilliant shade of pink. “Oh, right.”
“And you looked cute in glasses, so, whatever, that doesn’t count as an imperfection. Try again.”
He thinks for a moment, then, “I dye my hair.”
“What?” Dan gasps.
“Yeah. I’m naturally a ginger but I look horrendous so, I dye it like once a month. It’s kind of embarrassing.” He takes another sip. “I don’t think I’ve ever told anyone that.”
“Well, it looks great. I had no idea.”
“I’m only telling you that because I’m not sober, just so you know.”
“I’ll take it.”
Phil smiles. “But speaking of hair, I didn’t know yours was curly.”
“Oh,” Dan replies, cheeks turning red. “I didn’t have time to straighten it before going to work, and then I just couldn’t be bothered, so.” He self consciously brushes his fringe out of his eyes.
“I think it looks great.”
“Thanks.” He takes a sip. “Well, anyways, you get my point, right? You’re frustratingly perfect. It makes me want to strangle you sometimes.”
“You’ve completely misjudged me, Howell. I’m so far from perfect.”
He’s almost finished with his drink so he’s feeling extra brave, and before he knows it, he blurts, “Well, what do you think of me? You know, so I can also prove your misconceptions about me wrong.”
“I dunno. I think you’re really funny, you’ve got a sort of dark sense of humor that I like, and you’re also super passionate about your opinions, which I appreciate. Even when those opinions happen to be regarding your deep hatred of me.”
“Look,” Dan tries to defend, but Phil isn’t hearing any of it.
“No, it’s okay. You wear your heart on your sleeve. And you care an awful lot. That’s not nothing. I admire that about you.”
Dan’s heart stops in its tracks. His stomach churns. “I’m such an idiot,” he mutters to himself.
“Why, Dan?”
“I really thought you hated me,” he says quietly, wishing he could disappear.
“No, I don’t hate you, Dan. I feel like I know you, ya know? Like, I just have this feeling, like, I look at you and I know who you are. I wish I had that ability, too.”
“What do you mean?”
“Like, you clearly had me all completely wrong in your head. But I can just see you for you. I know that you’re passionate and loyal and compelling and--”
“Guys!” Chris shouts from behind their place on the couch. “We’re about to play cards against humanity, and you have to play. Also you’re not allowed to say no because it’s my birthday.”
They begrudgingly sit around the dining table, with their friends who are all decidedly at least twice as drunk as Dan and Phil are, which is fine, but maybe a slight bit alienating. Dan’s tipsy, sure, but he’s not flat-out drunk, mostly because he has to drive home but also because he hasn’t eaten anything all day and the last thing he needs is to throw up at his friend’s place. Especially since Phil’s there, and, yeah, he really needs one more reason to feel like an idiot in front of him. But, Phil doesn’t think of him as an idiot, in a strange turn of events. He’s not one hundred percent sure that he believes him, but why would he lie?
“Do you guys need a refill?” Hazel asks them, nodding to their almost empty cups.
“I’m good, thanks,” Dan says. “I’m driving, so.”
She shrugs. “Suit yourself. Phil?”
“I’m alright.”
“God, do you two even know how to have fun?” She smirks and rolls her eyes. “Whatever, more for us fun people.”
Hazel makes her leave to the kitchen to refill her drink and Phil laughs a little. The sight makes Dan’s heart rate speed up a little; Phil sticks his tongue out of his mouth and his eyes crinkle in the perfect way and all of his teeth show and okay, okay, why is he thinking like this right now? What just happened to make him notice something like that, something so trivial and inconsequential? Why has Dan never noticed that Phil’s eyes aren’t actually blue, but they’re blue and green and gold and they kind of look like a kaleidoscope?
He has to turn his mindset back around before it’s too late. “What, Goody Two Shoes Phil doesn’t want to get drunk?” Dan teases.
“Yeah, well, my parents are already mad enough at me as it is. I don’t need another reason to upset them.”
“Why are they upset with you?”
“They’re just…” He sighs. “I guess they’re not mad, they just really didn’t want me to come here, because they’re frustrated that they have to come pick me up and drive me home so late, and I guess I just feel bad, because we usually spend today together, and like, I turn eighteen in a month so it’s gonna be legal for me to drink soon, but they don’t want me to until I’m nineteen, which is bullshit, but they’re my parents, so.”
“Guys!” Chris shouts, interrupting their conversation. “Have either of you played your cards yet?”
“Fuck, sorry,” Dan apologizes. He picks a random card about George Clooney and passes it down. Phil follows suit. Chris begins to read out the cards he has, but Dan is barely listening. “I can take you home,” Dan says quietly. “Don’t worry about it.”
“You sure?” Phil asks.
“Positive.”
“Okay. I’ll text my parents.” The group laughs hysterically at one of the answers, bringing them back to reality.
“Right, I’m picking this one,” Chris announces. “Who played it?” Louise proudly raises her hand, and everyone claps.
Even though the game continues, Dan and Phil don’t really pay attention, lost in conversation with each other. It’s a bit hard to hear over the noise of drunk teens yelling dirty jokes at each other, but it doesn’t seem to matter. Dan feels relaxed around Phil for the first time ever, and maybe it’s the vodka but that’s starting to wear off in all honesty and it more just feels like Phil’s a generally nice person and he’s been missing out on him and his company since September when they met. It takes them about ten minutes to realize no one’s actually playing the game anymore and they’re instead just finding their favorite cards in the pack, trying to make each other laugh. They quietly sneak off back to the couch to continue to talk and no one seems to mind. It’s like he’s been missing Phil his whole life, like the moment they start to just talk he’s picking up from where they left off, even though really they never even started, not really.
Maybe Phil Lester the jerk wasn’t such a jerk after all.
---
Eventually, the group moves to the living room and puts on a movie, crowding the space that was previously just being occupied by Dan and Phil. But Dan doesn’t really mind, and anyways the more he talks to Phil the more he realizes that maybe his feelings of hatred were a bit misguided or maybe they were disguising themselves as hatred because he couldn’t face the truth. Now there’s something he’s really afraid to consider.
Phil gets up from his self-proclaimed spot on the couch to go to the bathroom at around eleven, when people are starting to get either drunker or more sober, waiting for the clock to strike midnight and ring in the new year. PJ takes this opportunity to slide over to press up against Dan, a huge grin on his face.
“What’s up, Daniel?” he asks. He smells overwhelmingly of vodka.
“Not much, excited for the new year, I guess.”
PJ waggles his eyebrows suggestively. “You gonna go for it?”
“Go for what?”
“Oh my god, you’re absolutely daft. Everyone knows of the tradition of kissing someone exactly at midnight on New Year’s Day, right?”
Dan freezes. “I… Who…”
“This is your chance, Dan. He likes you, I promise, just go for it.”
“Okay, you keep saying that, but I still don’t know what you’re referring to.” Though, obviously, he does. “Peej, you’re super drunk right now.”
“And you’re not?” He laughs. “You should be!”
“I have to drive myself home.”
He pulls a face. “So?”
“Right, let’s get you some water, you goof.”
He gets up to go to the kitchen and pour him a cup of water from the fridge, and when he comes back to the living room Phil’s back, deep in conversation with Hazel. He tries his best to ignore the pang of jealousy in his gut because Seriously, are you fucking kidding me? One minute you hate him and the next you don’t want anyone else to look his way? Maybe he’s always felt that way, like there’s always been some kind of underlying jealousy. But jealousy of what? His personality? His hair? His ability to make friends with all of Dan’s friends but somehow be better at it?
“Here you go, Peej,” Dan says, handing him the cup.
“I don’t want it,” he whines in response, but Dan practically forces it down his throat. He makes eye contact with Phil as he attempts to shove the cup into PJ’s hand, and Phil smiles at him and his heart explodes a little bit and, yeah, you’re an absolute gonner.
“Do it, Dan,” PJ whispers into his ear. “Do it for me, if nothing else.”
“Drink your water and I’ll think about it, arsehole.”
It works. PJ sits up straight and practically chugs the whole thing in an instant, earning him a satisfied pat on the back from Dan. He doesn’t mind playing the mom friend at parties, in fact, it makes him feel good. If he can save someone from dying of alcohol poisoning, he can justify coming to this party.
“Dan!” Phil gestures for Dan to sit next to him, as Hazel’s gotten up to get snacks.
“Having fun?” Dan asks, eyebrows raised. He’s pretty sober as far as things go but he still feels like his brain is going a bit haywire which is just great, just brilliant, because that confirms everything and why does this have to happen here, at a party in front of all his friends, on the most cliche night of the year, with music from the movie on TV swelling and laughter and drinks and it’s all just so much, it’s way too much for him right now. And seriously, of all people, Phil? Like, why couldn’t it be someone he knew and actually tolerated?
“Did you hear me, Dan?” Phil asks, bringing him back to reality.
Brilliant, fucking brilliant. What was it about Phil that always made him feel like he was one step behind, all the time? “Sorry, no, what did you say?” Seriously, can God just come smite me where I stand already?
“I said I’m having a great time. Your friends are super cool.”
“Glad you think so.” Can this not happen, please? Not now.
“And you aren’t so bad yourself.” Phil winks, and seriously, Dan feels like a year four, like a child in primary school, with a secret crush and a secret diary full of unsent love letters and this cannot be happening.
“Thanks, Phil.”
“So, any resolutions for the new year?” Phil asks.
“No, not really. What’s the point of making them if you can’t stick to them?”
Phil shrugs. “You never know until you try, right?”
“Okay, fine, what’s your resolution then?”
Phil thinks for a moment, then says, “To just be more authentic. To live a more honest version of myself, whatever that means for me. No unrealistic or unattainable goals. Just, not try to hide or fix myself in front of others. However it happens.”
Dan laughs in spite of himself. “A bit too meta for me, but the sentiment is there, I suppose.”
“I think New Year’s resolutions are fun to make, even if you don’t end up sticking to them. It’s the thought that counts, really.”
“See, this is what I’m talking about. Everything you say, it’s perfect. How do you do it?”
“What can I say? I must be born with it.” He does a fake flip of his hair and giggles. Phil needs to stop fucking giggling because it’s driving Dan insane, it’s contagious and it makes Dan laugh right along with him. Phil makes him feel so safe and warm and like he’s Dan’s missing piece and every other cliche the world has to offer him but fuck it, it’s true. And maybe he’s just completely misreading the signals and maybe Phil still secretly hates him and maybe Phil’s straight as a stick (though to be fair Dan used to think he was so that means nothing) but if he can’t say it now, when can he?
“Phil, can I ask you something?”
“Sure, Dan.”
His confidence is dwindling by the nanosecond. “You’re not mad at me for being a dick to you for months, right?” Justsayitjustsayitjustsayitjustsayit--
“No, of course not. How could I be mad at you? I’m mad at myself, if anything, for being a dick to you.”
Dan opens his mouth to speak, but his words die in his throat and he knows he needs to just say it but nothing is happening.
“I wasn’t doing it with any malicious intent,” Phil continues. “It’s just that being nice to you didn’t seem to work, and it was the only other way I could think to get you to talk to me.”
“And why…” His voice is close to failing him. “Why would you want that?”
“Well, I--”
“Guys!” Chris shouts, interrupting them. “It’s eleven forty-five! Almost midnight! I’m breaking out the champagne! Come help me!”
Phil rolls his eyes and gets up with the rest of the party, which is moving to the kitchen to break out the grand finale of alcohols, the champagne. Dan tries not to feel disappointed, but then again, perhaps this is a sign. Chris pops open the bottle and everyone cheers and PJ brings him glasses. Jack helps to pass them out to everyone and Dan takes his, even though he has no intention of actually drinking it.
Chris changes the channel so they can watch the countdown live with the rest of Britain and Dan’s nerves go completely haywire. Everyone’s crowding around the TV and anticipation buzzes in the air and the guy on TV announces that there’s two minutes left until the new year begins and Phil’s on the other side of the room now and his heart hurts a bit. He puts his cup down on the side table to resist temptation. One minute left. He feels someone brush the back of his hand and it’s Phil and time slows down and the people around him fall away.
The countdown is happening around him. He locks eyes with Phil and he’s pretty sure someone just shoved a party popper into his hand but he really doesn’t care. Twenty-one, twenty, nineteen… Phil grabs his hand. Okay, okay, breathe, you need to remember to breathe, don’t fucking pass out for the love of all that is holy. Ten, nine, eight…
Now or never, Dan. Now or never. Now or never.
Five, Phil pulls him closer.
Four, Dan moves his hands to Phil’s waist.
Three, Phil moves his hands to the back of Dan’s head.
Two, Dan leans in. Or maybe Phil does. Or maybe--
One.
Shouts of joy, the mini explosions of party poppers, and choruses of “Happy New Year!” fill the room, and Dan kisses Phil. He feels soft and warm and they fit together so perfectly, and Dan pulls him impossibly close to his body and wow, why didn’t they do this sooner? It feels like fireworks, like the fireworks that are currently going off on TV, and it’s everything he could have imagined only magnified by about a million. It’s perfect. Perfect, just like Phil.
Applause erupts. Dan and Phil finally break away and see that everyone seems to be cheering for them. He completely forgot that there were other people in the room that could see them and now everyone knew. Awesome. Phil giggles and breaks the embrace, squeezing Dan’s hand instead. He’s completely and utterly mortified.
“About bloody time,” Chris remarks, shaking his head.
Dan scoffs. “Mind your own damn business.”
“Stop making out in front of everyone!” retorts Chris.
“What, we weren’t,” Dan stutters, but Phil just smiles and squeezes his hand again. Somehow, it’s not making Dan feel any better.
“Oh, leave them alone,” Louise scoffs at her friends, and soon their attention turns back to the TV, though they don’t stop laughing. Phil peers at Dan from behind his fringe and Dan can’t help but push it back a little and he can’t stop smiling and he knows he’s gone all red from embarrassment but he’s still on cloud nine. He kissed Phil. Or maybe Phil kissed him. Now he can’t really remember. It doesn’t matter, probably.
Party poppers explode and glasses clink and Dan kisses Phil again and nothing has felt more perfect in his whole life. He tastes like vodka and sugar cookies and Dan probably tastes the same and how could he have ever thought a thought as stupid as hating Phil Lester?
Phil laughs a bit, and pulls away. “My phone’s ringing,” he explains apologetically. He pulls it out of his pocket. “Fuck. It’s my mum.”
“Oh.” Dan takes a step back. “You should get that.”
Phil accepts the call while Dan sits back down on the couch. Around him, his friends start to clean up the flat. He hasn’t had a lot of time to process what just happened but now he can. Though, it’s fruitless, as he can barely believe any of this just happened.
Phil curls up next to him. “No… Mum, don’t worry… I don’t… Yes, he’s gonna take me home… I promise… Okay. Love you.” He closes his eyes and sighs. “Bye.”
A ghost of a smile remains on his face, but his eyes have lost their sparkle. “My mom wants me to come home,” he announces. “Do you still want to take me?”
“Yeah. Not like I still need to be here.”
“You’re sure you’ll be okay to drive and stuff?”
“I swear.”
“Positive?”
Dan leans in and plants a kiss on Phil’s nose. “Let’s go.”
Phil smiles and blushes. Dan’s never seen him so soft before. He’s still perfect, though. Still perfect. “Okay,” Phil whispers. “Okay.”
On their way out, Dan swears he can hear Chris whisper to PJ, “My work here is done.”
---
“Come on, slowpoke!” Dan shouts from his car, leaning on the horn. No response. Figures, the guy takes about a half hour at least to straighten his hair. And besides, he liked to make Dan wait. Annoying, since it was Dan doing him a favor and Dan asking for nothing in return. But then Phil comes bounding down the stairs and pulls the passenger’s door open.
“Right. Let’s go,” Phil commands, slamming the door shut.
“Yes sir,” replies Dan.
“Alright, alright, lose the attitude.”
“I’m your school chauffeur, I can act however I like.” He backs out of the driveway and speeds down the road to school. “By the way, we’re late. Again.”
“We’ll be fine.” He leans over the dashboard and gives Dan a peck on the cheek. “Better?”
“Marginally.”
“Whatever. You’re no fun.” Phil fake-pouts, crossing his arms and staring out the window.
Dan concentrates on the road in front of him, but a grin appears on the corner of his mouth. “I think what you meant to say was, ‘Thank you, my wonderful, beautiful, attractive boyfriend, for driving me to school every day, how could I ever repay you.’”
“As soon as I get my license, I am never driving in a car with you ever again.”
“Good to know you’ll always ride with me, then.”
Phil scoffs. “I’m telling you, the fourth time’s the charm.”
“Whatever you say, Lester.”
They’re both quiet for a bit, watching blocks and blocks of flats go by. “Thank you, Dan.”
“For what?”
Phil shrugs. “Everything?” Dan glances at him, and God he’s so beautiful, it almost hurts. Even in the early morning sun, it’s like looking into the night sky, into an entire galaxy.
“Ditto,” Dan replies. They’re almost to school, with only five minutes to spare.
“Ugh, don’t get all sappy on me.”
“What can I say? I’m a poet.”
Dan parks the car and turns to face Phil properly. They kiss, a real one this time. It’s warm. Phil pulls away slightly. “We’re actually going to be late, though.” He grabs his backpack and opens the car door.
“Your fault,” Dan replies, doing the same.
“I can live with that.”
“Yeah.” Dan leans across the car to kiss Phil one last time. “Me too.”
#phan#phanfiction#phan au#teen au#new year's eve#this is sooo so so so fluffy and sappy im so sorry#but like.... teen phan is my kryptonite what can i say#hope u enjoy#ngl..... this was alot of fun 2 write nd its not like the best thing ive ever written but..#its cute and its helping me come into my style of fiction writing so
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Rec Week 2017: Cap-IM Sunday
My very late recs for Cap-IM Sunday. ^^;
Like Coming Home (616/MCU, 75015 words) by missbecky (2013 Captain America/Iron Man Big Bang)
Summary: After a tragic accident, Steve is given a chance to go back in time and deliver a warning to Tony in the hope of avoiding their fate. Something's gone wrong, though, because this is not his world he's ended up in. And that is definitely not his Tony who's planning to delete his own brain.
Sometimes your second chance isn't at all what you were expecting.
Comment: This is one of my favorite MCU/616 crossovers and one I go back to rereading regularly. This ties in beautifully with post-Civil War and Dark reign canon and has a good amount of Tony angst and Tony whump and I just love it.
Buy You A Mockingbird (616, 29652 words) by jadedoll (2011 Captain America/Iron Man Big Bang)
Summary: Babyfic! When Tony unexpectedly becomes a parent, his world view drastically changes. And changes. Then it changes again. And then again.
Comment: Also one of my all time favorite fics, because Tony and a baby is just my favorite trope ever and this is the post-Civil War getting together with a multiverse baby fic!
the best man in his world and a good enough man for any world (Noir, 24914 words) by thyrza (2013 Captain America/Iron Man Big Bang)
Summary: Tony Stark disappeared without a word at the close of World War II, and hasn't been seen or heard from since. When Commander Steve Rogers, newly retired from the mantle of Captain America, arrives in Madripoor to investigate the presence of a Hydra cell, he is reunited with his former lover. But Tony is keeping secrets of his own ... and Steve soon finds out he isn't the only person interested in Tony Stark's missing years.
Comment: This is my favorite Noir fic and also one I reread regularly. It just has the right tone and whiff of adventure for a Noir story and I don’t want to give away too much about the plot and what Tony is up to, so I’m just saying this fic does a nice job of being a sequel for the mini-series.
De Profundis (The Wartime Romance Remix) (1651 words) by Woad
Summary: Tony was kidnapped and his memories altered in a bid to make him the next Zemo. He was rescued, but now he's dealing with the aftermath.
Comment: This is a sequel of my own fic, so I was pondering if it would seem self-indulgent to put it on this list. But it really needs to be on this list, because I like it very much as it’s own story and it really is the kind of very well crafted remix that is enjoyable as remix and as a completely separate fic. Woad made all the horrors of war and Hydra come alive for me in a very confined setting and that is just amazing.
Broken Mirrors (3485 words) by laireshi
Summary: “He hid some things from me,” Tony says, then shrugs. “It’s fine. I hid some things from him, too. Don’t you know this story?”
616 Steve meets MCU Tony.
Comment: Another of my favorites when it comes to my favorite MCU/616 crossovers. This is set after CA:CW and it’s so in character and hurts SO GOOD.
Staring into an Eclipse (616, 26157 words) by laireshi
Summary: The New Avengers are the best thing to happen to Steve in months, or so he thinks – until he starts a relationship with Tony. But when Tony disappears after he gets Extremis, Steve isn't sure of anything anymore.
Comment: I’m always a sucker for post-Extremis “how does it affect Tony” fics and I haven’t seen many lately, so I went back to one of my older favorites. This really does a good job of showing us the getting together, before tying in with the Extremis arc and going beyond it.
Before the clock strikes 12 (Art, Noir) by ranoutofrun (2016 Captain America/Iron Man Holiday Exchange)
Comment: I do love ran’s art in general and I just love how a whole life and story is expressed by the sequence of panels. It’s just very evocative.
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All of the emojis for the sweet and pure asks
DSJFHFDJKHKFJFFF honestly you’re probably like the only person who cares about what i say on here … thank u .. my savior 💖
(obviously imma put this under a cut .. if it doesn’t work on mobile, i apologize in advance aadhjfdkff since when things are under a cut i tend to write long ass rambling answers)
🐰- do you believe in soul mates?
as an utterly hopeless romantic, i certainly want to. i think because of like … insecurities, self hate and stuff (not to get too deep), it’s a comforting idea to me to like Know that there’s someone out there who doesn’t see me the way i do … but realistically? no. i think you gotta realize that relationships are hard and something you have to work to keep healthy and happy and not as magically problem-solving as soulmate tropes make it out to be. so short answer: realistically no, ideally yes.
💌- diary or journal?
the one i write in is honestly a mix of both, but i think it’s more of a diary. it’s cathartic to write things out when you don’t wanna talk to someone else about it (or in addition to venting to another person) and for the journal aspect of it, i really like looking back on things i did back in the day. i’ve had a diary/journal hybrid since like 2008-ish? so i love that !
✨- which fictional character (book, show, or movie) do you relate to most?
ooh good question …. there’s a lot! i think i see bits of myself in a lot of characters so there isn’t any One (1) person i relate to the most. shaw from person of interest keeps coming to mind but maybe i’ve just absorbed parts of her, rather than actually being like her so who knows . jessica jones is another one, in some aspects. i think just from those two you can tell the Type of character i not only gravitate towards, but relate to too
💕- are you crushing on someone?
irl? no, i’m not. i have plenty of celebrity crushes though so i can’t even begin to start listing those. honestly most of the celebs i talk about / reblog on here are most likely a crush . to paraphrase an iconic pisces, yeah i’m a love whore and what about it ??? dfjkdhkjff
💋- kissing in the dark or kissing in the rain?
both !!!!! but kissing in the dark may be more ideal so i can hide how flustered i probably would be
🐝- describe your aesthetic in emojis
💌💣🌙🥀🖤 less of an aesthetic and more so just emojis i like, i feel like
🍼- what is your favorite memory?
oof … this is a really hard question. honestly, i don’t know. there’s a lot of memorable things. i feel like it’s mainly just the lil things – moments that i look back on that don’t seem like much but are really warm and comforting to reminiscence about (sorry, this isn’t really an answer)
🌸- what is your favorite flower?
a more recent fav but i’ve been really interested in diphylleia grayi / skeleton flowers lately. part of me doesn’t even know if they’re like real, but i’ve written a lot about them lately (and ofc listened to the jonghyun song about it) so i’ve had a sort of attachment to them lately. aside from that, i don’t really have a favorite? i think they’re all pretty
💖- have you ever been in love?
a lot dkjfhkjff probably more of a crush / infatuation than anything else in actuality, i suppose, though. platonically in love, however? absolutely
🍰- strawberry or vanilla?
vanilla, hands down
🍯- describe your favorite smell
ironically, vanilla is a big favorite smell of mine. i think i have a pretty sensitive sense of smell so there’s a lot of different things. i also like tea / coffee smells? idk, just stuff like that. which is part of why i enjoy baking, i think
🎂- if you had 3 wishes, what would they be?
1) for more wishes … bc im a gremlin
beyond that, i never know what to say for these questions beyond things i obviously want like world peace, ending world hunger, etc etc. like for personal things maybe … like being happy with myself? bc i think my self-image issues hinder me a LOT.
🍪- cookie dough or cookies?
both!!!! i eat the left over cookie dough when i bake but the final product is always really good too. (cookies, if i had to pick one though)
☕- coffee or tea?
tea !!!! don’t really feel like the coffee type of person (aside from enjoying the smell of it)
🍃- would you rather live in a sea with mermaids or a forest with fairies?
a forest with fairies, that sounds absolutely lovely
🍂- what’s your middle name?
it’s my dad’s first name
💫- what is your sun, moon, and rising sign?
gemini sun, pisces moon and leo rising
🌧️- favorite thing to do on rainy days?
stay inside in bed with chai. basically just having a lazy day – reading, watching something, etc etc
🍭- how tall are you?
5′7″, though a part of me likes to hypothesize that if my posture wasn’t absolute SHIT my actual height would be 5′8″ (wishful thinking probably, but my posture is bad though)
💒- which show would you want to live in?
the good place was the first one to come to mind but idk about that … they go through a lot of shit and i for sure would just be in the bad place, without a chance of redemption. to appeal my Babey side ……… can i say winnie the pooh or smth (also, im just blanking out on any decent tv show where the universe isn’t one where i will probably instantly DIE in bc of how inept i am)
🎄- what is your favorite holiday?
i often say christmas for this one actually. not because we really celebrate it or anything, i just like the atmosphere around this time of year usually. mostly bc of childhood memories and how fun it was for me then
🍦- what scented candle is your favorite?
i don’t use any, but probably something vanilla-y so im sure there’s holiday candles that fit my taste
🎶- favorite song right now?
not necessarily a favorite (bc i have a LOT), but im listening to pirate king by ateez right now (thanks winnie)
💘- 3 ways to win your heart?
idk !!!!!!! have a good/similar sense of humor to me, listen to what i have to say (and like ….. don’t make me feel like shit or annoying for bringing up my interests or showing you things i think you’ll like), and uhhhhhh maybe like do cute lil romantic things for me ??? im a sucker for that. esp when people remember lil details about me based off what i’ve just casually said, idk .. it’s bare minimum time i guess. i just can’t fathom anyone Wanting to win my heart in the first place so it’s really easy bc im touch and romance starved
🍩- current mood?
okay ? just kinda here – not really happy but not sad either. neutral. procrastinating
❄️- what is your favorite season?
spring because of my birthday and the weather is decent, i guess. though i’ll also nominate winter
💍- your current relationship status?
what you think? .. DJKHFKF SINGLE of course . when have i ever been anything else
📷- a photo of yourself
absolutely not. though i have posted some before (you can click my name in my description to see this ugly minion mug of mine)
💅🏻- do you like being spoiled?
it’s weird because as a concept, yes i absolutely do but in reality, i will feel guilty and bad if anyone spends money on me at all because i don’t think i’m worth that so in practice, i guess i have to abandon my sugar baby dreams
🕊️- 3 habits you have?
1) keysmashing ? dhfkjffjkf like it’s genuinely so instinctual to me that i have to stop and make myself stop before i type it to locals i know or in emails to my teachers. in a similar realm, is my lowercase aesthetic . if only i could type my essays like this
2) saying and typing ‘like’ a lot. i guess i really AM the valley girl that envi says i sound like ………. tis a sad day. i never really noticed how much i do it till i reread old messages
3) not sitting properly. at school i do it obviously, but at home i most often sit cross legged on chairs or with one leg up or something. gay culture, babey ! the amount of times i’ve been told off for sitting “improperly” or “like a man” .. amazing
and bonus 4) being a dumbass. i just felt the urge to say that. don’t expect me to think or say anything intelligent ever. especially if we’re talking irl because my brain will exit immediately and i won’t be able to put a single coherent sentence together. i sound better online than offline, trust me.
🦄- how do you perceive yourself?
i don’t wanna turn this into oversharing emo o’clock but i’ll summarize it in one word … BAD. gremlin and scum are also fitting words. perhaps i have made points sometimes but that’s just after i go to rent-a-brain-cell ‘ r us . otherwise? complete fool . a clown, if you will . don’t get me started on my looks
🦋- how do you think others perceive you?
this is what i REALLY want to know. i have an irrationally strong desire to just know what people think of me. it’s what gives me a self-identity and a better sense of who i am bc idk !!!!!! is my quietness making me look mean ??? who knows ! just how ugly am i actually ???? someone tell me
🌈- things I find attractive in girls/guys
there’s a lot of things and i’m also feeling lazy to list things. but pretty smiles have always been a huge weakness of mine. and perhaps i have an arm kink ….. like not super muscley arms (i.e: body builder types) but kinda toned/defined ones? NUT . (not a necessity ofc, just a bonus)
🍓- one secret about yourself
well it’s not a secret online, but my sexuality i guess? offline, aside from kendra, no one else knows. beyond that, i wish i had something scandalous i could reveal but im genuinely a boring person
🍒- how do you act when you have a crush?
inside im a mess. usually i just like looking at them and going into my Daydream World (patent pending) to fulfill my romantic desires there. outwardly, i don’t do like anything. idk how obvious i am honestly. i don’t interact with them at all, aside from sneaking glances, bc i am scum !!! and also i lack any confidence whatsoever
💔- the reason behind your last breakup?
never had one, so this is non-applicable :/
💬- what your last text message says?
to summarize, it was just me in the gc talking about a song i listened to a lot that i saw in my spotify top 100 list thing and about how i recently realized the singer/rapper was malaysian
🎥- what show are you currently binging on?
currently, im not really marathoning anything exactly ? i guess the closest would be blackish, but i haven’t watched that in a hot minute. i’m trying to catch up on it though.
⛅- what is your morning routine?
usually it’s just get up, brush teeth / wash face, and then change into my clothes for the day and then have breakfast
💗- who do you miss?
who i used to be ……. :( IM KIDDING . ummm idk, no one really? i guess i miss the people i don’t talk to as much anymore, though it’s really my own fault most of the time since im a horrible communicator
🥀- last time you cried?
oof i don’t really remember …… like i get emo a lot but i don’t exactly full on cry a lot? one semi-recent time i remember crying was when envi sent us this one song in the gc and it was just really pure and romantic and i got in my feelings about it. funny how my crying works ……. i don’t cry a lot but it can be brought on by the weirdest, most random things
🎁- when is your birthday?
may 29th !!!!!
🔪- scariest/creepiest experience?
not really either (since im not scared of ghosts, though i do kinda believe in them. like i don’t NOT believe in them, but im also not gonna fight someone who doesn’t, y’know?) but long story short – i got smacked in the back of the head (like it felt like a hard slap) once and no one was there/did it. must’ve been the ghost in our apartment. i joke a lot about there being one in our place but i wouldn’t be surprised if there was, with the random stuff that happens sometimes (mostly things just falling). again im no huge believer in ghosts, it’s just whatever to me but getting hit in the back of the head like that was definitely WEIRD. bc it honestly felt like how my little brother hits me but it wasn’t him so …….. hm.
💤- date someone younger, older, or same age as you?
same age or older (not by a lot), probably. being with someone younger makes me feel weird (weirdly, usually with men. like i’ll be more comfortable dating a girl a year younger than me than a guy for example.. for maturity reasons i GUESS). but it depends. if i like someone within a reasonable age range, then i like them.
🎀- any question you want
you didn’t ask one so n/a (and neither did i in the ask i sent you so rip)
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