#best nonbinary blogger

[cipheramnesia]

Hi, you're my favorite trans blogger and I have a question about gender. Is there such a thing as being physically cis but mentally/emotionally trans? I'm afab and I love my body and presenting femininely but I've always felt more masculine in terms of interests, preferences (my bestie is always telling me my favorite movies, etc are bro things,) behavior in relationships (my current bf keeps stealing my t-shirts, lol) but idk if that means I can claim nonbinary or if that's even the right label? This isn't a "not like other girls" thing, I genuinely enjoy feeling "manly" but looking "girly"

Splendor is a many gendered thing, and I would like to lead with the advice I think is best when you're poking around in the gender toolbox: "You can anything you want forever."

Okay, more particularly, gender is very tenuous when you try and tie it to anything specific. Gender can be of the body or of the mind or any kind of permutation of the two or neither or something altogether different. You, yourself, have ahold of it already: you have interests and mannerisms which feel masculine but a body which feels feminine. Historically, what defines activities, hobbies, interests, and yes even body shape as either masculine or feminine has varied quite a bit. Meaning your own sense of these things in either category is a bit of an action towards seeing something as having particularly properties to you which aren't innate to the thing itself. The idea of those things having a gender exists in two places - society and your own mind, but neither has properties which are immutable.

Okay that's all very abstract, what does it mean for you? Unsurprisingly, to me it means you can be any kind of trans you want to be, or even none at all. The fact is that so many people are trans or cis over such a diverse range that I'm not willing to define anyone out of trans much beyond "your experienced gender is different from the gender imposed by a doctor at birth or by society," and even that's a little suspect. But the point is you can very much see yourself as emotionally or mentally trans but not physically - if that's what you want to do, and if that is what makes your gender feel like it fits. They're all custom jobs see, some people just happen to fit off the rack pretty easily.

But also the world doesn't really make it easy to find a way to exist if you're not cisgender male or female. Once you move outside that binary, it's not always easy to find what feels best, so you probably are gonna poke around a bit, check out your options. I recommend it even, I did myself a little while and maybe I will again. You don't have to pick just one gender for ever and ever after.

Which is pretty roundabout way of saying sure have some nonbinary. It's free and we literally never run out. Don't even have to claim it or anything, just grab some. Believe me, femme on the outside and masc on the inside like a gender M&M isn't the weirdest thing that's happened with gender. Assuming it's safe fuck around and find out, you have nothing to lose but your gender and also nothing to gain but your gender again. It's fun and you should have fun whatever you go with.

[shooting-stars-only]

🌄&🧔‍♂️

🌄 What was the first thing that peaked you, and when did you peak?

(This is soooooo fucking long I'm sorry)

Peak trans and peak patriarchy were intertwined for me. It was mid-2021. I’d been identifying as nonbinary for about two years, but even while trying my best to believe in it, the whole concept of nonbinary just felt fake. At the same time, I had started questioning what I knew about porn and the sex industry in general. I hadn't watched porn in a few years because I’d read stories from ex-performers about the evils of mainstream porn, and I knew there was probably rape footage on porn sites, but I was still on the “sex work is work” bus. (I know—I was an idiot.) I saw a post on Tumblr about the pros of the Nordic Model vs legalization, realized I didn't know much about it, and did some research. I found a couple blogs here that were incredibly informative, and found radfem bloggers in the links. They were scary TERFs but they were right about porn, so I wanted to see if they were right about anything else. And that was that. I was connecting with radfems here by January 2022.

For gender specifically: I struggled with what I thought was severe gender dysphoria. Like, the hatred I felt for my body and particularly my reproductive organs made me want to carve them out of me. I was that TIF who truly thought her innate identity and rightful state of being was a sparkly mist. (In retrospect, this was profound dissociation stemming from my fear and hate of my disabled body. I can't believe that people thought I was fine when I was incredibly mentally ill.) But nonbinary as a concept never quite made sense to me, even when I wanted to believe it. I went by they/them, changed my style, but it was like a costume. Nothing had changed but the words I used.

Like I said above, I started reading radfem blogs because of their anti-porn posts. They poked holes in gender identity as an ideology, not just being nonbinary, and that + curing my PMDD made me discard gender ideology completely.

🧔‍♂️ If you could kill one man (excluding politicians, billionaires, and those responsible for world tragedies), who would it be?

The 22-year-old male who started dating my friend when she was 16, right after she got out of an abusive relationship, and who we all thought was great bc he was soooooo nice to Jane* and so polite to everyone else, and he bought us alcohol, and she seemed so happy, and of course he was just as abusive as her ex, just better at hiding it. I would like to travel back in time and run him over with his stupid lifted truck

#*not her name or even close to it. she's doing great now btw

[missladymusings]

Running

Fandom: Bridgerton

Pairing: Colin Bridgerton x Penelope Featherington

Word Count: 2k

Publish Date: 2/11/21

Warnings: Pregnancy?

Major Tags: Established Relationship, Unplanned Pregnancy, Hurt/Comfort, Modern AU

Summary:

Penelope Featherington’s life was more perfect than she had ever imagined. She was working her dream job as a blogger and just finished writing her first book. She had the most amazing long-term boyfriend, who loved her and had his own travel cooking show on Food Network. Her body, her apartment, her lifestyle- everything was just suited to her. But what happens when she finds out she’s pregnant- and realizes that she wants to keep the baby? Will Colin want that too?

Read "Running" on AO3 or keep reading

A/N: Doing a mass upload of my old fics without editing, please be kind!

Six seemed to be the magic number for Penelope today.

There were only six more hours until her amazing boyfriend Colin arrived home after six weeks of traveling for his cooking show. There were six more days until her book on developing self-confidence was set to finally hit the shelves. And there were six pregnancy tests lined up on the bathroom sink, mocking her with six pink plus signs.

Penelope sat on the edge of her bathtub, staring at herself in the mirror in shock. She didn’t look any different. She didn’t really feel any different. She was still the same old Pen she had always been. But now she was pregnant?

She slid down the side of the tub to sit on the title floor. The cool porcelain of the bath felt good on her back, drawing some of the heat out of her flushed face. How on earth could she be pregnant?

She had taken the first test after some gentle teasing from Eloise when she had cancelled their lunch date. She had told her best friend that she was feeling under the weather and her queasy stomach wouldn���t let her leave the house.

“Oooh, best be careful, love! If you’re pregnant with Colin’s baby then you’ll never get to leave him. And then how will we be crotchety old ladies in the States together?” She had joked.

At the time, Penelope had laughed and told Eloise to go make out with her girlfriend.

She was no longer laughing. As one positive test had turned into two, two into three and three into a spiral of denial, there was no doubt in Penelope’s mind.

She was pregnant.

Looking down at her stomach, she gently placed her hands on her lower abdomen. With the chub she had for entire life, it would be weeks before she started showing. And lord knows she didn’t feel very different, aside from the morning sickness. And the slight tenderness in her breasts. And- christ!

Putting her head into her hands, she couldn’t stop the tears prickling at her eyes.

What was she going to do? She was financially stable enough to have a baby, sure. Her lifestyle, although busy, could possibly be modified to suit child-rearing. But did she feel ready to have a living, breathing human that she was responsible for?

The thought rattled around in her brain. She tried to cut out images of cute stuffies and little shoes and focus on the reality. Late, sleepless nights. Her body wrecked from the inside out. All of her time belonging to somebody she barely even knew.

But for every hardship she pictured, she couldn’t help but imagine a little one with her curls and Colin’s eyes. A daughter or son or nonbinary child to love and treat better than she had ever been treated by her family. Suddenly, she could see a different life than the one she was currently living. And while it terrified the shit out of her… she couldn’t help but want it.

Heaven help her, she wanted this baby.

But what about Colin?

She knew that he would never abandon his child- even if he didn’t want to be a parent, he’d still assure that they were provided for. But he was a globe-trotter, a bachelor in every sense except his relationship status. For fuck’s sake, he was just returning from shooting another season of his latest travel cooking show with the Food Network! Would a celebrity chef in the height of his career want to settle down and have a baby with her?

Penelope shook herself. Now that was unacceptable. She was worthy of love and any person would be lucky to raise a kid with her. She would not insult herself like that.

Rising to stand, she swept the pregnancy tests up and tossed them in the bin. She couldn’t deny the nerves jolting within her. The slowly balling knot of stress in her stomach was  not ignorable and was only growing by the minute. She loved Colin and she didn’t want to lose him. He was… everything. But the more she thought about them, the more she knew she couldn’t get rid of the fetus. For better or worse, she was choosing them.

The decision shook her to the core, and she had to grip the sink in terror. She would give Colin up. She wouldn’t beg or fight or force him to stay. She wouldn’t go to the press or Instagram. He would be civil and she would be civil and everything would be as civil as can be for the end of their relationship.

She wasn’t that teenage girl that put Colin Bridgerton up on a pedestal anymore. She would tell herself everyday that she would get through it and be better for it. Pen knew she would be more than fine on her own.

It didn’t stop the tears from falling, though.

Citing her nauseousness from earlier, Pen had enlisted Eloise and Phillipa to pick Colin up from the airport. Fidgeting with the dinner layout and the chicken cacciatore she had prepared with shaking hands, she felt her heart jump in her chest at the sound of the key in the front door lock.

Heading around the corner into the entryway, she watched the door swing open. Standing in the doorway was Colin. His clothes and hair were all ajar, but he looked modelesque as usual. The long trench coat, white t-shirt and jeans were rumpled and the scruff on his face looked so styled that it seemed right out of a particularly filthy photo shoot. His eyes, those beautiful brown eyes, were locked on her even as he struggled to yank his suitcase through the door and shut it.

A grin spread wide across his face, and her breath was stolen once again by the boyish charm. Without hesitation, he dropped his suitcase and small travel bag, rushing to wrap her in a tight hug.

“I missed you so bloody much, babe,” He said, burying his face into her neck and molding his body to hers.

Penelope, for all her resolve to be strong, couldn’t help but melt into the embrace.

“Not as much as I missed you,” She whispered back.

Pulling back slightly, Colin looked at her once more and gave her a squeeze that she giggled lightly at.

“Impossible,” he whispered.

He kissed her deeply. She was instantly drawn into him, doused in arousal and lust. Before she knew it, Colin’s tongue was in her mouth and she was pulling him in. If she wasn’t going to have this forever, she was going to enjoy it right now. Colin let out a shuddering breath and laid kisses all over her face. In a voice suddenly much lower than moments before, he said,

“As much as I’m looking forward to properly coming home, I haven’t eaten since breakfast and I’m starving.”

“Well, it’s a good thing I made your favorite then.”

Colin groaned and buried his face into her hair.

“Chicken cacciatore? With that recipe from my mom? You really are the best.”

“I know,” Penelope replied, biting back a smile.

Colin couldn’t help but pinch her on the butt.

Penelope was sprawled out on the couch, waiting for Colin to finish getting ready for bed so they could watch a quick movie together. She knew that she should tell him about the baby, but she needed just one more night of normalcy. Just one more night of good food and great conversation and cuddles and love would be enough, right?

Flipping through Hulu, Pen couldn’t help but click on Colin’s show. Seeing him on the cover slide of the show never lost its charm, almost in the way she never got over the fact that fans of her blog would stop her in the street for pictures. It was weird, this little corner of the world they had carved out together. Cooking and fashion and travel and the journey to loving herself. Even with the knot of anxiety in her stomach, she would always be proud of what they had accomplished.

Colin opened the door to their bedroom and Pen clicked off of his show, scrolling once more.

“What kind of movie are you in the mood for tonight?” She called out over her shoulder.

She suspected something light and easy to follow. Something that they wouldn’t mind missing the ending of if they got distracted doing something else. But no reply came from Colin. Furrowing her eyebrows, she asked once more,

“Love, what kind of movie should I be looking for?”

Still no reply. Pen sat up and turned, finding Colin over her shoulder. He stood in the blue light of the television, eerily still in the darkness of the room. In his hand a long white stick.

Oh shite.

Colin flipped the stick around, holding it out to her. The plus sign was clear as day, even with the shadows of the room bending around them. Her lip trembled and the tears sprung once more to her eyes.

“What’s this, Pen?”

She couldn’t tear her eyes from the stick. Couldn’t bear to see the look- whatever it may be- in his eyes.

“Pen. What. Is. This?”

Fat tears rolled down her cheeks and she folded in on herself. Arms wrapping around her stomach, she balled into the couch. Her breath caught in her throat and she hiccupped. She would be strong, damn it all.

“I’m pregnant, Colin.”

The words hung in the air. Tension crackled in the air, unbroken.

“How long have you known?”

“I just found out today.”

There was a beat of silence. Outside, Pen could hear the hustle of London roaring forward as usual. Car horns sounded out into the night air and a siren could be heard rushing across town. A small rumbling from the pub on the corner, often unnoticeable, seemed so much louder tonight. How could the world keep spinning at a time like this? How could it all keep going while her life was in the balance right here, just teeter-tottering on the edge of a cliff?

“Okay,” Colin said.

The word hurt worse than anything else she had prepared herself for. She expected some yelling or tears or something- anything- but apathy. She wouldn’t wait for it, though. Penelope Featherington had come much to far to wait around for Colin Bridgerton anymore. She had dignity now.

Pulling the blanket around her, she stood up and attempted to walk towards their room. As she passed by him, Colin shot out his hand and grabbed her upper arm. She kept her eyes straight ahead on their bedroom door.

“Where are you going?” Colin asked.

She could feel his gaze prickling her skin. She simply shook his hand off and continued into the bedroom.

“I’m going to stay with Eloise tonight. It’ll be much easier this way.”

She flicked on her bedside lamp and washed the room in soft white light. Her duffel bag was under the bed, her laptop was in their shared office and the locket Eloise got her for their second friendiversary was in her jewelry box. She could be out of here and in her car in 10 minutes.

“Easier? Penelope, what are you talking about? Aren’t we going to discuss this?”

“What’s there to discuss?” She asked, plopping her bag onto the bed. “You have your future to think about. Your career is taking off and I don’t need you to tell me that a baby isn’t going to fit into that. I’m not that girl who waited around for you with puppy-dog eyes, Colin. I’m not going to wait for you to tell me that.”

Colin stormed over to the bed and tossed the duffel bag across the room. She closed her eyes, head turned away.

“Well you’re going to be waiting for a fucking long time for me to say that, because I’m never going to.”

Tears flowed out from underneath her closed eyes. Why was he making this so difficult?

“I am trying to make this easier, Colin. I know you don’t want a child right-“

Colin reached out and spun her to face him.

“Who said that, Pen? Who in the bloody fucking world ever god damn said that? Because I sure as hell didn’t,” he said.

Pen finally opened her eyes to glare at him.

“No one had to say it. It’s obvious. You’re in the prime of your career as a celebrity travel chef.”

Colin stooped down, deadly serious, looking her dead in the eyes.

“And? And?” He demanded.

“And I’m not going to let you leave me,” she whispered.

Colin’s face crumpled.

“Leave you? Christ, Penelope, don’t you ever think that. Don’t you ever,” Colin pulled her into into his chest, holding her tight.

They both let the dams loose, hanging onto each other like lifeboats. The only thing that mattered was holding on for dear life.

“I’m not going anywhere. Not now, not for the rest of my life. I don’t give a shit. I’ll stay even if you hate me,” Colin said fiercely.

“I could never hate you, Colin! I just don’t want to pin you down when you’ve got so much happening. You’ve worked so hard for this and I don’t want to clip your wings when you’re just about to fly! I don’t want you to stay out of obligation and resent me!”

“My beautiful, sweet Penelope, you are my whole world. You are my anchor. You are my home. You are just as much a part of me as my heart or my lungs. I can’t very well resent my own lungs, now can I?” Colin tried to joke.

“It’s not funny!” Penelope tried to stay serious, but she couldn’t help a small laugh.

“But it is! It’s hilarious that you think I would ever in a million years leave you. Whatever happens, you’re stuck with me.”

Pen looked up at him through wet eyelashes, tears still blurring her vision.

“Even if I want to keep this baby? Even if it means your career is going to suffer?”

“Especially if you want to keep the baby! Because I want to keep the baby too! And my career is not going to suffer. I just wrapped on the second season of my show- I can do whatever I want. Write a cookbook or a regular book or start a stationary show or a restaurant or just stay home and be a family with you! We have so many options. Why are you trying to run from me?”

Pen buried her face into his chest and Colin pulled her into his arms once more. He rubbed her back in big circles.

“I thought you wouldn’t want the baby like I do and I got scared. I’m so tired of being left behind, I just wanted to be the one to leave this time. I wanted to be strong this time.”

“Oh, Pen,” Colin said.

Colin maneuvered them towards the bed. He let her crawl under the covers and the soft duvet before diving in after her. Wrapping his long, strong body around hers, he cradled every inch of her.

“You’re mine and I’m yours, baby. Period. I’m sorry if I haven’t made that clear enough. I’m sorry if I haven’t asked you to marry me yet or if I haven’t talked about the future enough. But you have to know that you have every part of me: mind, body and soul. And I’d like to believe that I have yours.”

“You do, of course you do. And you’re fine. I’m just being silly,” Pen sobbed.

He shook his head firmly.

“No, you’re not. You might be hormonal and stressed, but you have every right to feel this way. I’m sorry. I’m going to do better.”

Pen nuzzled her head into his chest, breathing in his scent. His musky soap helped calm her down. Slowly, her breaths calmed down. The two of them laid side by side, with Colin’s leg thrown over her upper thigh to draw her in close. She could hear his heart beating under her ear. He rubbed small circles into her back- rhythmic, soothing.

“I’m not going anywhere, Pen. I love you and I love this baby.”

She brought her hand up to his waist, balling the fabric in her fist, anchoring herself.

“Neither am I. I love you too.”

#bridgerton #polin #penelope featherington #colin bridgerton #penelope x colin #fanfiction #ao3 #established relationship #unplanned pregnancy #hurt/comfort #modern au #eloise has a girlfriend #it's very minor but it's important to me that you know

[arthallea]

so i really was trying to avoid doing this, things already are hard enough for everyone and i feel very wrong having to ask for this, but i could really use some help.

so, hi, my name is skylar! i’m your local artist, blogger, general strange nonbinary disabled jewish person, and i’m in a really tight spot! 😅

i can’t really go into details in public, but things have gotten really bad for me and i have to move out in august with my disabled partner. i’m applying for remote part-time work, but that’s been tricky, as i don’t have the best looking work history. thanks disability. i have hope on that front, but in the meantime, i have a pretty limited amount of time to raise money and every second counts. i have art commissions open, but the stress of the situation is wreaking havoc on my body and i can’t offer much in that regard. so, i’m sucking it up and asking for extra help.

my goal is 300 dollars to help buy a laptop for work and art, as my current one is on its last leg. i don’t feel right asking for any more than that, but anything above that would go towards moving costs. genuinely everything helps. i’m sorry i even have to make this post, i know we’re all going through it right now. do NOT contribute anything if you are not stable enough to do so.

below is a navigation post of how to support me with my pay//pal, ven//mo, and ko//fi, since linking directly to them on this will kill the post. i know the stress of the world makes it hard to read - let alone reblog - these posts, but if you are able to, any reblog helps.

here’s the navigation post!

thank you to anyone reading this. it means so much. 💕💕

#mutual aid #help needed #commissions open #open commissions #urgent #pinned post #pinning this for a little bit. till i feel too guilty dgchdgfb

[mistsofavalon13]

Not a girl. As an enby, you should know better than to jumping to gendered labels. You're an ignorant child at best and a malicious piece of shit at worst. And it's not just a t.v. show. It's a cultural phenomena that fetishy freaks like you are turning into the abuse apologia fest. You don't actually care about queer men (unless it's watching them suffer) and your idea of good queer rep for them is abusive relationships (you're an Izzy stan... That tells me literally everything I need to know about the kind of person you are and your attitude towards mlm people).

as much fun as it is to have anon hate for the first time since 2016, i’m gonna nip this fast. first off, apologies for the gendered term! it was used humorously and i meant it in a gender neutral way. next, i haaate the term ‘enby’ and you shouldn’t use that for nonbinary people unless you know they’re cool with it.

third, i actually hate izzy!! so fucking much! he’s a pathetic piece of shit and i want to see him drown in the ocean for what he’s done. however, he’s a well-written, multifaceted, fictional character. because of that fact, making fun of him and enjoying how his actor interacts with fans doesn’t mean i condone the character’s actions. basic media literacy and an ability to critically consume stories makes it possible to enjoy ‘villainous’ characters while also hating them and their actions. send an ask like this to a transmasc hannigram blogger and see how they react to your argument.

also, don’t assume that i make light of abuse or condone it in any way. i also don’t even understand what you mean by “your idea of good queer rep is abusive relationships” when i don’t ship him? with anyone? i hope he sticks around in season 2 because he’s an interesting character and con is a fun actor, but i want him there so he can be fuckin punished. i also think it would be funny if lucius and pete bullied him into accepting love, but that isn’t a requirement. as a queer person who cried with every queer kiss on the show and still tears up a bit thinking about how i never saw wholesome, healthy queer rep like this on tv as a kid, i don’t appreciate being accused of shit i don’t support. izzy can rot for all i care, i just want the three main couples reunited and happy asap.

i agree that ofmd is extremely important and represents a lot for folks like us, but it’s still a show. it’s changed my life in a positive way, but it’s not a religious text. it’s a romcom, man.

#our flag means death

[aces-and-anime]

If it's alright, I was hoping to bounce a few thoughts off a fellow ace blogger.

I'm concerned I might be in this weird limbo where my labels make me "not queer enough" to exclusionists online, while the number of labels (3: grey-ace, bi-romantic, nonbinary) that I use to specify my identity are labeled "too queer" by those who hold simpler/more traditional labels IRL (gay/bi/lesbian/trans).

I know microlabels & neopronouns aren't *supposed* to be stigmatized, but there is the sense that I've thought *too* hard about who I am, or would at least be better off not sharing these burdensome facts. It's not as if I'm showboating or broadcasting them at every opportunity (as I'm not the showboating type), but they just feel burdensome to others (and therefore myself.)

I don't want my friends to see me as the showboating, "special snowflake" sort, or someone who is too-easily swept-up in "online culture/trends" without thinking for oneself. I'm sorely tempted to retract what information I have shared about my identity, and to show this side of me as little as possible.

Do you have advice on how to handle this?

hmmm I have multiple thoughts on this, as someone who also has 3 labels (demisexual, panromantic trans man/ trans masc) .

First things first: I know it's easier said than done but you shouldn't be putting so much weight behind what exclusionists may think of you. Their opinions on your identity are completely irrelevant. What matters the most is your understanding of yourself. Second, I do however understand the wish for a simpler identity to explain particularly when it comes to new people or when it comes to people who may not understand due to lack of knowledge of the queer community.

The way I personally deal with such situations (and full disclosure this may not be the best way or the way that works for everybody) is that I will simply say I'm ace or gay (as I'm in a mlm relationship therefore just saying gay is easier) to new people or those with less knowledge but if somebody asks me more directly and shows an interest in knowing more about me in depth (eg. maybe they ask "so when did you know you were gay?" or something like that) I will then elaborate and give them a clearer picture on my identity. For me it often comes down to the relevance of the situation. I also have plenty of friends with complicated identities who prefer to simply go by "queer" because that's what they feel more comfortable saying. And yes, you are absolutely queer enough to identify as queer if you so wish to since you are not a cisgender heterosexual (and only being both at the same time would disqualify you).

Of course, sharing your sexual and gender identity with others is in no way an obligation. You can share as much or as little of them as you see fit on a case by case basis - please know however that wanting to share your entire identity with someone is in no way "showboating" and anyone who thinks so is wrong.

TLDR: it can be complicated but - be yourself, be safe and don't let the bastards grind you down!

#asexual #grey ace #biromanic #bi #nonbinary #nb #asks #lgbtqia #lgbt+

[solitarypisces]

🪷 pinned into time!!! 🪷

hey !!! my name is pisces solitarypisces (on my birth certificate and everything) and i'm a nonbinary creature living in england! I use they/them pronouns and i'm a multi fandom blogger (a.k.a whatever i'm fixated on at a specific moment)

🌸 current fandoms!!! 🌸

Currently I am a pro wrestling blog !!! some of my favorites include

AEW

❀ the best friends - chuck taylor and trent beretta ❀

❀ "freshly squeezed" orange cassidy" ❀

❀ "more than a woman" kris statlander ❀

❀ "the cold hearted handsome devil" HOOK ❀

❀ "very nice very evil' danhausen ❀

❀ death triangle - THE BASTARD PAC, rey fenix, penta el cero miedo and alex abrahantes ❀

❀ “switchblade” jay white ❀

ROH

❀ “the wrestler” katsuyori shibata ❀

TNA

❀ the motor city machine guns - alex shelley and chris sabin ❀

NJPW

❀ "the submission master " zack sabre junior ❀

❀ "the rogue luchador" el desperado ❀

❀ “the sniper of the skies” robbie eagles ❀

❀ “the headbanga” el phantasmo ❀

❀ “the rebel savior” david finlay ❀

❀ KENTA ❀

🌷 writing 🌷

you can find me on ao3 under the same name as here! however inspiration strikes me every blue moon so don't expect much!

🌺 tags 🌺

as a general warning, I only started tagging posts as of about two years ago - and it was only really character tags - so scroll with caution please !!! this blog has been many places and seen many things - a lot of which i'm ashamed of as an adult!

[fiapple]

Hi, could you maybe reblog my donation post? It's in my pinned. Sorry to be asking like this but this is the only way I can get some traction.It's not so urgent but I could still use some help. If you don't want to that's fine of course. If you are wondering why I asked you, it's because I ask fellow trans or nonbinary bloggers or people who I see reblog donations post. If you have more questions about the situation feel free to ask, I will try to answer them as long as I'm comfortable. Thank you for reading 💜

yeah, no worries! best of luck to you!

[reviewsthatburn]

THE LAKE OF SOULS follows Harkat and Darren in a very weird place on Mr. Tiny's direction, doing cryptic steps in order so that Harkat can find out who he was before he was a Little Person (a stitched-together creature made by Mr. Tiny from a soul that wanted a second chance). Once they reach the Lake of Souls, Harkat must retrieve his old soul and find out who he was before he died. Partway through they meet a very strange ex-pirate named Spits who (the book won't let you forget) really wants to drink alcohol. I wasn't enjoying how much he took over the narrative, but it has a great payoff so it works out overall.

Full review at link.

#BookReviews #Fantasy #Horror #Recommended #the lake of souls #cirque du freak

[flimsyflowers]

first post methinks

I don't know why I'm here totally. I'm 20, autistic, witchy and nonbinary (they/them), finding my style, myself, my feminity. I have a boring ass job and a wonderful boyfriend and a lovely cat and an apartment in a stupid place. I'm not a tumblr-er, a redditor, or really any type of consistent blogger. I don't know why I'm attracted to the girlblogger niche. I've always loved lana, have recently cared about fashion because that seems feminine and simple, and the rest of the concepts are just, pretty? I guess? I don't like dirty things and I don't really like ed's. (I don't know if that's why people blog about them sorry if that's insensitive.) I also like the clean girl/self help/growth aesthetic. I care about curating my social media's, and when I go on breaks I like having shaved down versions of using my phone. I want this to be a visual archive and safe space I think. I intend to stay nameless I think. I want to be someone who puts words somewhere, because this life is really weird and I want to journal my progress into healing, being a better person, and living my best life. Thanks for listening! Bye! Xo

[lgbt-rwby-pride-awards]

@awesome-icecream-neo has been nominated for best nonbinary blogger

#nomination #best nonbinary blogger

[mejomonster]

if i ever got famous i wouldn’t ever shut up about being bi or he/they

#rant #im just thinking about like. how much i appreciate out bi and nonbinary celebs #who never shut the fuck up about it. because honestly media outlets LOVE to erase us existing #so many nonbinary celebs i didnt even know were nonbinary for the longest time because media kept ignoring it/choosing to pretend they didnt #know and werent already aware. #same with bi celebs but for much goddamn longer #i shouldnt have had to only realize 90% of my fave celebs were lgbt as an adult. when as a child? #knowing they'd been queer wouldve made me feel SO much less alone SO much more normal #wouldve invalidated the shitty ppl telling me 'what i felt wasnt real/possible' #but no medias best interest was NOT to remind people about it #i follow a he/they nonbinary fashion blogger. and like #its rare i see other he pronoun users like me that wear fucking dresses #and part of that. no doubt is because strangers dont like to gender us correctly when they see nonbinary ppl dressing #in feminine clothing etc #not that i'd ever be famous lol #but if i was. id want anyone feeling alone to know they werent. i wouldnt watch media strangers to act like im fucking straight and cis that #s for fucking sure

[quicksandblock]

MCYT Demographic Survey Part 2 RESULTS

IT’S TIME!!!

Once again, thank you so much to everyone who participated! 1,654 people total responded to this - about four and a half times as many respondents as the first survey. It’s honestly incredible. I’m so happy the rest of you are as interested as I am in this stuff :D

The increased turnout is also why these results are being posted two days later than I’d intended. I want to give a HUGE thank you to my friend @quincepastey​ and my sibling @orestes-swimming​ for helping me out, and by helping I do mean they did basically all of the technical stuff for me, because my knowledge of spreadsheets was not up to the task. So thank you to Cupid for organizing all the data from questions 3 and 4 into something comprehensible for me, and thank you to Kal for making the charts! They are absolutely the MVPs and everyone reading this should go check them out. Thank you guys so much <3

Reblogs of this post are very appreciated. It would be awesome if the info about the results could reach everyone who submitted a response, so if you reblogged my first post about this survey, please consider reblogging this one as well!

For your convenience, here’s a link to the results of the first survey I did six months ago. Now - on to the results!

Question 1: What is your age range?

Compared to the results of the first survey, we can see that things have changed a bit! Specifically, the fandom has shifted just a little bit older. The solid majority of the fandom is still in the 15-17 year old range, but it’s gone down from almost half to closer to 40%. Almost a third of the fandom are ages 18-20, up from close to a fifth six months ago. 21-25 year olds have increased from about 10% to about 14%. And the youngest segment, 13-14 year olds, have gone from almost 20% of the fandom down to 12% - the sharpest change of all.

Finally, nearest and dearest to my own heart, there are now 26 whole people in the fandom aged 26-30 and 9 people aged 30+. Old Squad is growing, folks. We are... the 2% 😎 Special shoutout to the person who said their 15 year old kid got them into the fandom. I hope you know just how cool you are.

These results are interesting, but it’s also impossible to say how accurate the data is. This survey and the previous one were only posted on my blog, and they only reached a wider audience through the reblogs of my followers. So do these changes reflect actual changes in the demographics of the fandom as a whole, or is it just that my followers (and the people who follow them) have shifted older? To try to avoid this bias in the future, I may reach out to some well-known younger bloggers and ask them to reblog the next survey I do so that I can reach a more even audience.

Question 2: What is your gender?

Apologies for the small text, but there were so many unique write-in answers that I wanted to include them all. You may want to open the image in a separate tab for better quality.

In contrast to the age question, the gender spread of the fandom has remained pretty much the same. About half the fandom is still female, the nonbinary crowd has increased from 20% to 25%, 7% of us are male, almost 7% are genderfluid, and about 5% are agender. Just like last time, most of the write-in responses fell into the vague categories of either genderqueer or questioning.

No surprises on this one! The fandom continues to be overwhelmingly female and queer. Next time I think I’ll include genderqueer and questioning as options to try to catch some of those people into a formal category. All y’all are so valid, especially the person who wrote in their gender as “soup” <3

The results for questions 3 and 4 will be under a cut, because I don’t want to completely destroy people’s dashes.

Before I get into the last two questions, a couple notes. First, I want to explain how I came up with the list of creators, since a lot of people were either excited or disappointed by the fact that a few different people were on there.

On the last survey, this question was a write-in, and I had to transcribe and collate all the answers by hand to come up with the actual number of people who followed each creator. For this survey, I simply took the list that came out of the previous one and pasted it in! I also added a few people who no one wrote in six months ago but who are much more prominent now (Ranboo being the biggest example). So if you were excited to see your favorite small creator listed as an option, they were there because someone wrote them in last time! And if you wrote in your favorite small creator here, they’ll be an option on the next survey. The list is entirely crowdsourced and it will expand with each survey.

That said, the same also applies for more controversial creators. Specifically, I’m talking about CallMeCarson. Several people questioned my decision to keep him on the list - and to be honest, I considered taking him out. But in the end I decided to leave him in as an option for the sake of completeness and consistency with the previous survey. I want to emphasize that this is not me condoning his actions. But for the sake of the data, I felt that it was best to leave him in.

That said, let’s move on to questions 3 and 4!

Question 3: What creator(s) do you primarily follow?

So, it’s harder to compare with the previous survey on this one, and that’s purely because on the previous survey I didn’t have the help I did here. The chart I was able to make for the results back in October was frankly trash. Also, the fact that I split “followed creators” into two questions - primarily and casually followed - definitely throws things off. However, we can still do a certain amount of comparison!

The most obvious change is Ranboo. He straight up was not on the previous survey at all - I think he’d been streaming for less than a month at the time. Now, about 55% of respondents listed him as someone they primarily follow. The Dream SMP itself has also jumped dramatically. Previously, about 5% of people wrote in Dream SMP. That has increased to over half. Quackity has gone from less than 2% to about 30%. Karl has gone from 4% to 30%. Phil has gone from about 8% to a little under 50%. The SBI have jumped from 11% to over 40%.

Techno has gone from about 50% to over 60%. Tommy has gone from 45% to over 55%. Wilbur has jumped from 43% to 55%. Tubbo has remained steady at about 38%.

Dream has apparently dropped some of his following percentage-wise, falling from 50% to about 35%. However, George, Sapnap, and the Dream Team itself have all jumped from 10-12% to almost 30%.

I’m not going to go over the rest of the list, because that would just get way too long. However, I will drop a link to the spreadsheets of data for this survey and the previous one, so anyone who wants to can do some comparison of their own!

Question 4: What creators do you casually follow?

I won’t do as detailed of a comparison on this question, because there’s nothing to compare it to - this question wasn’t on the previous survey. However, it’s interesting to see how many more people follow Fundy, Nihachu, BadBoyHalo, Captain Puffy, Eret, Awesamdude, and Jack Manifold casually rather than as a primary favorite. Out of the top twelve, Karl, Quackity, Phil, and Tubbo are the only ones who don’t have a major discrepancy between the amount of people who follow them casually versus primarily.

I would be curious to hear people’s thoughts on why that’s the case! Personally, I would guess it’s a combination of each of their approaches to lore on the Dream SMP, the frequency and times of day that they stream, and the people they tend to make content with and be associated with by the fandom. I may go into that more later, but this post is already very long, so I’ll hold off for now. Here’s a link to this question’s spreadsheet for anyone who wants to take a closer look!

...And that’s a wrap! Good grief, this got long. Kudos to anyone who actually read the whole thing because I know my attention span would be challenged. I’m already thinking about the next survey - a couple people suggested that I add in questions about orientation and nationality, and while I want to keep the survey pretty tight in its scope, I am considering it. It would be even more data to process but it would be interesting to know!

I would love to hear people’s thoughts on these results! I’m only one person, so I know there’s interesting stuff I must have missed. Please, please feel free to reblog with your thoughts and observations! A lot of work went into this (both from me and from Cupid and Kal! Thank you guys again!), so I’m really hoping to hear what people think about it :D

I plan to reblog this and reply to some of the things people wrote in at the end, so stay tuned for that. And once again: thank you all for your interest in this project of mine <3 See you with another one in six months!

#mcyt #dream smp #technoblade #tommyinnit #ranboo #wilbur soot #philza #sleepy bois inc #dreamwastaken #tubbo #quackity #karl jacobs #the dream team #pardon the tag spam :P #talk #survey #can't wait for the 5 thousand mistakes I will only notice after this breaks 200 notes #IT'S FINALLY DONE #this took so long and I didn't even do all of it #once again thank you SO MUCH to Cupid and Kal I literally could not have done it without both of you <3333 #I'm going to go eat some food

[wromwood]

So I had a VERY INACCURATE idea of how well-known Our Flag Means Death is.

For me, it was all over Tumblr. I saw it in the top ten tags numerous times, and my mutuals were reblogging stuff about it really often. I was semi-spoiled on a lot of things because of this popularity! Not to mention, it’s a GAY PIRATE SHOW starring and produced by Taika Waititi, with a nonbinary character played by a nonbinary actor in it, and cameos from some awesome well-known actors. Who wouldn’t know or be excited by something like this? Of COURSE everyone would know about it!

.... everyone does not know about it.

When I brought the show up in a group chat, two of the three friends on the call assumed I had started watching a gritty American war documentary based on the title alone, until the third friend mentioned that they heard it was a gay pirate show.

My best friend, a regular Tumblr user, hadn’t heard a peep about the show, and so had NO IDEA what the fresh hell the show was about until I sent a clip from it that I thought they’d like. Their reply of “Oh, I guess it’s about pirates?” made me realize that I had given no context to what the show was about when I previously mentioned it.

And like, it makes sense. I don’t remember seeing any real advertising for this show. It was all word of mouth through Tumblr. If you’re not following certain bloggers, you can miss even well-known and trending Internet news. And the show’s on HBO Max, so it’s not like people are catching it on TV. Not everyone has that service, and that’s fine. Not everyone with Internet has TV, for crying out loud. I honestly shouldn’t be so shocked about this.

I guess I’m as surprised as I am because as I watched the show, I was overwhelmed with this feeling of “Man, I’m so happy this show is so popular. This DESERVES to be popular. Tumblr was right on the money by making this trend so much. I’m so glad everyone is raving about this awesome show.”

So getting hit with the fact that not everyone knows about it was very sad.

#this is me #our flag means death #ofmd

[octopus-defence-squad]

a saga:

after posting a few photos i took wearing merch i got for christmas, i got this reply, which made me a bit uncomfy, if only because i have never talked to this person before in my life

[image id: a tweet from @/ThirstyLoL2 sent in reply to @/octopus_defence and @/GeminiTayMC reading: “cute” with an emoji of a smiling face surrounded by hearts]

i sent it to a few friends, all who i would be okay with giving me this kind of response (many of whom had said similar things when i sent said photos, even) just to kinda verify if i was overreacting or not. everyone (bar pancake, who was readying pitchforks already lmao) agreed that it was weird and not great, but overall innocuous and probably harmless.

out of curiosity and boredom, i ended up scrolling through this guy’s twitter, mainly to see if i could figure out how they found my post. they had 6 tweets/replies, and by scrolling back to their earliest post (circa november this year) i saw this gem:

[image id: a tweet from @/ThirstyLoL2 in reply to other users reading: “Emery’s I agree the game is trash but you have a trans flag so stfu mkay lmao”]

their only earlier faults had been that they were creepy and a fortnite player (the latter not even too bad), but this was... not good. for reference, I am a nonbinary individual who also identifies more broadly as trans.

all this to say that—despite the best wishes of my rational friends (and on the encouragement of my more excitable ones)—i replied.

[image id: a tweet from @/octopus_defence quote retweeting the tweet in the first image in this post with a screenshot of the second image in this post and the caption “buddy, idk if you know this, but I just so happen to be trans as hell <3″]

tweet here <3

anyways pls support your blogger on twitter, i just thought it was funny how this idiot really came in and showed themself to be a fool.

(reblogs ok!!)

#post by oz #tw 'transphobia' #twitter #look i think its funny and i enjoy my response #and i have a lot more followers here so... #this is me encouraging people to like my tweet or whatever i just lowkey want to make this buffoon feel shame tbh #also if you want to; reblog this post bc that'd be cool too

[eroticcannibal]

Tumblr actually has a fairly large detrans and misgendering kink community, both con and cnc. It's mostly trans guys, but there's also a fair number of trans women and nonbinary people of all flavors.

I usually prefer written erotica (because you can go REALLY extreme without worrying about anyone getting hurt) but the detrans content generated by trans bloggers gets me in the best ways.

Theres a whole section of trans culture i was unaware of