#black egyptian mau | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

miyuhpapayuh · 1 month

Text

He got game 4

Adina: The Cougar Next Door

Summertime rolled around, and Odell's mother encouraged him to take up a little summer job, so he could have some money in his pocket to do as he wished.

He wasn't allergic to hard work, so he welcomed the idea. At first he wasn't sure what he'd want to do to make money, but when he saw his next door neighbor, Adina, a 32-year-old divorcee, tending to the hanging garden that occupied her front porch, he knew just what to do.

One warm, yet breezy Thursday afternoon he caught her outside and voiced his proposition of taking care of her yard work. She happily accepted, offering more than fair compensation.

The first week went by uneventfully, as he planned on how he'd put the moves on his vixen of a neighbor. On a couple of occasions, he caught her second-too-long stares as he pushed and pulled the lawn mower across the grass.

Bingo.

With her paid vacation underway, she didn't have much else that needed her attention. She didn't have children, just her Egyptian Mau, Perla, a sassy kitten that seemingly preferred to be by herself.

On a particularly boring early afternoon, she found herself sitting on her porch swing in a cream colored sundress that bared an expansive amount of thigh, fanning herself with a vintage paper fan as she watched Odell manicure her front lawn. She sat with a bit more interest when he decided to ditch his beater and hang it over his shoulders.

She knew she shouldn't be having the thoughts that ran through her head about this boy. He was over a decade her junior, for God's sake! But God knows the way those beads of sweat dripped down his sculpted torso made her drip below the belt. Her conscience was telling her to get away and take a quick ride with the windows down. Anything to clear her mind, but the little succubus on her shoulder urged her to take him for a test drive.

Weighing each decision carefully, her dark side won out. She was determined to find out if he could make her kitten purr.

Pouring some ice-cold strawberry lemonade into a glass, she made her way over to Odell, tapping him to get his attention as he had earbuds in.

"Yes ma'am?"

"Honey, you make me sound like a grandma," she joked, "Adina's fine. Here," she handed him the refreshing drink, "I know it's hot as hell out here."

She had to fan herself when he flashed that brilliant white smile her way. "Appreciate it, Adina."

"You look like you could use a break. Out here with this sun beating on you. Come sit down and get some of this air conditioner."

Come inside and get this throat is what he heard. It's what she might as well have said.

"I'd like that." She led him inside and he thanked his lucky stars his mother was working until the late evening today.

He might be here a while.

He sighed in pure relief when the cold central air made contact with his blazing hot skin.

"I see you inhaled that lemonade, sugar. Want another glass?"

"Actually, I'd rather drink you."

"Hm. And here I thought I'd have to play the coy game." Shamelessly, she let her dress fall from her body. A scrap of black lace you could barely classify as underwear was the only thing adorning her now. She hooked her finger in the front of his basketball shorts.

"Follow me."

She led him to her spa-like bathroom that had a shower big enough to fit at least five people. After fiddling with a couple knobs, water rained down from the ceiling. Pleased with the temperature, she rid herself of her panties. Bending at the waist, she peeled them down her legs giving him the perfect view of her glistening cove. She flung the piece of cloth at him, and he caught it, sticking them in the pocket of his shorts.

She entered the shower, standing directly under the water. He watched mesmerized as the steaming water cascaded down her figure.

"Care to join me? Or would you rather stand there drooling on yourself?" she chuckled. He was out of his remaining clothes and in the shower in record time.

Taking her mango-scented body wash, she squeezed some into her palm, working it into a rich lather. Starting at his neck, she worked her hands down his body, washing him down.

Slipping down to her knees to wash lower, and she's face to face with the prettiest dick she's ever seen. Long, girthy, with a thick vein going up the underside.

Perfect.

She gripped it, running the flat of her tongue along that vein. Placing a sloppy kiss to the tip, she winked before swallowing him whole. She used one of her free hands to rub her clit and the other to massage his balls.

He exhaled roughly through his nose, gripping her thick, wet hair in his fingers. She relaxed her throat allowing him to fuck her face however he liked.

She slid two of her fingers into herself, moaning around him.

"Fuck," he bit out as the vibrations from her mouth covered him.

He pulled out of her mouth before he could bust in it, and placed her on the bench in the recess of the shower wall, kneeling between her legs. He draped them over his shoulders, and went to work, licking a stripe up her slit much like she did earlier making her hiss.

He was intrigued by the tiny gold bar that went through her hood. He investigated it with his tongue. He must have tripped something because his mouth started to vibrate, eliciting a gasp from her.

'So she's that kinda freak,' he thought. He licked circles around her clit while the vibing piercing did its thing. He could just barely make out her sweet little moans as his head was basically sandwiched between her thighs.

Her head was thrown back in pleasure, moaning loudly into the damp air. A hand was threaded through his curls, while the other tweaked her nipple.

"Fuck, I'm about to cum!" she ended on a shriek. He groaned against her already overstimulated clit, setting her off. She made a mess of her juices all over his face.

Getting eye-level with her, he pressed their lips together making her taste herself. She tasted even better on his tongue.

Exiting the shower, he forewent drying off, and bent her over the counter. He sent a heavy smack to her ass, surprised when she asked for another, harder this time. Quick to oblige, he made sure to leave a nice, bright red mark this time. One of the sexiest sounds left her mouth in appreciation making his dick stiffer than he thought possible.

Moving behind her, he tapped his head against her a few times before sliding in, filling her to the hilt causing them both curse at the contact. He spread her open to making sure he got as deep as possible with each stroke. She had to brace herself against the mirror for fear of hitting it headfirst with how powerful his thrusts were.

"You're so--," he hits her spot so good she almost loses her balance, "fuck baby, you're so fucking deep!"

She brings one of her arms back to press against his abs to relieve the building pressure.

He caught her arm, holding it behind her back. Gripping her neck, he pulled her back placing his mouth against her ear.

"You gon take all this fucking dick. Got it?" It was like he was stealing the breath from her body with how deep he was.

“Got it?!"

He tightened his grip on her, moving painstakingly slow, pulling out so far she thought he'd pull out, just to slam back into her wetness full force driving her insane.

"Yes! Yes imma take all of it!" Her eyes rolled into the back of her head, her jaw hanging slack as he brought her closer and closer to spilling all over him.

"Good girl."

He knew she was close, and he wasn't far behind.

"You ‘bout to make me cum all up in this good shit, baby. You want that?" he licked up the side of her face.

"Mmm, yeah give me all that nut, big boy."

"Take that shit, then." She began throwing it back on him recklessly, meeting him thrust for thrust, obscene, wet sounds filling the bathroom.

Together, they came loudly & noisily, with her wetting up his dick and thighs. She pulsated around him, milking every drop she could. He collapsed on top of her, their sweaty bodies sticking together as they tried to regain control of their breathing. She reached back, rubbing soothing circles against the back of his neck with her fingertips.

"I'm gonna have to raise your pay," she joked tiredly.

Lmao this one was wild. Enjoy!

@thegifstories @blackerthings @ghostfacekill-monger @honestpreference @blowmymbackout @headcannonxgalore @harmshake @henneseyhoe @blackpinup22 @twistedcharismaaa @abeautifulmindexposed @starcrossedxwriter @megamindsecretlair @soufcakmistress

#miyuhpapayuh #blackwriters #smut #he got game #odell beckham jr

87 notes · View notes

utterlybrainwrecked · 1 month

Text

ada bsd cats. (ill draw them someday i swear-) images all found on pinterest!! i apologize for the quality on some of them

I AM NOT A CAT SPECIALIST. SOME OF THEIR BREED/COAT NAMES MAY BE OFF

ranpo: burmese (fight me)

dazai: wet black cat

fukuzawa: silver ticked egyptian mau (could not find a good pic where the cat looked like a dad 😔)

yosano: charcoal bengal . (ill fight you over this one too)

kenji: cream mackerel tabby . i firmly believe he would have a bob tail as well

kunikida: golden/apricot tabby

kyouka: gray scottish fold. (i will go into detail. fight me again)

atsushi: snow highland lynx (im not above leaving him as a white tiger though)

juni: ginger tabby

naomi: tuxedo.

haruno: brown and white tabby. (the half tail is canon too i said so)

what do we think guys??? should i continue posting these for the other organizations?

#im not bothering with shorthair longhair rn. you can see #if i forgot someone im gonna cry :>#katai is going in other once i get to that section #ada #bsd #bungou stray cats #bungou stray dogs #catzai #can you tell i read warriors

64 notes · View notes

written-with-blue-ink · 6 months

Note

Could we get headcanons of different pets the Genshin men would have and how they would interact with them or their personalities? Especially Diluc and Alhaitham. I love men with animals, the biggest green flag

I got you, boo! I honestly couldn't stop once I started so added a few other characters

Alhaitham, Diluc, Kaeya, Childe, Cyno TW: neglected animals in Cyno's

Pet Headcanons

Alhaitham

She showed up in a previous post but I think he would have a cat

An Egyptian Mau to be precise, her name would be Asal (Persian for honey) after her golden/bronze coat

She would 100% be a curious and very intelligent kitten who loves to run around and play

Type of cat who just climbs up fabric/clothes and will sit on your shoulder or around your neck

Will bite and pull on your ear if you oversleep and don’t feed her

Literally embodiment of “Ray of Sunshine”

Absolutely loves Kaveh for some reason (totally not because he spoils her rotten)

“Kaveh, stop feeding her so much, she’s getting fat. I don’t want two spoiled lazy cats”

“Excuse you, she’s perfect and skinny as is… Wait did you insult me too?!”

Does tricks! she knows how to sit, shake, tap (where she taps her nose to your finger/thumb) and is learning more

Diluc

A big dog man

I could see him with rottweilers, german shepherds or bernese mountain dogs with a name like “Bear” or “Beau”, short, bold, and simple.

Originally gotten as guard dogs for a paranoid Ragnvindr who has many enemies and just got back from a murder spree in Snezhnaya, they now work more as emotional support dogs for him and others

He also still has his childhood tortoise (because those things live forever) which he named ‘Clip’ as a child

He’s very mellow, the dogs treat him as one of their own

They also cuddle and sleep together, two dogs wrapped around a tortoise who rests his head on the dog’s neck

When he and Kaeya were in their older teens, Crepus got them both large Clydesdale horses when they both joined the Knight’s Cavalry.

He named his horse Skinfaxi and Kaeya has Hrímfaxi (named after the sun and moon horses from Norse mythos)

Skinfaxi is one hell of a mare, it took Diluc a lot of time, energy, and patience to get her to behave (though she still has a playful streak)

Would buck him off during training but she was the fastest horse in the Cavalry

He would take her on long rides at night through the woods and around Dawn Winery just to get her to trust him

Kaeya

Obviously, Hrímfaxi, who, unlike his sister, was much more timid.

They both got along really well, with no issues, unlike their siblings.

The two riding are almost like one being, completely in synch

With the cavalry gone, Mondstadt City doesn’t have a lot of space for a horse so he stays with his sister at Dawn Winery

Kaeya comes by whenever he can to ride him

But besides her he would take care of the stray cats around Mondstadt City, refilling food and water bowls around the city while on patrol

One day, after a long night, Kaeya woke up to clawing and meowing at the door and saw his favorite cat, a Calico named Lucky, wandered inside and flopped on his rug in pain, crying as he noticed the giant lump coming from her stomach

By sunrise, he now had a mother of three kittens refusing to leave his house.

Two girls (One Calico like her mom and the other orange) and a boy (A black cat with faint stripes)

He lets Klee name them: Sunny (Orange), Cloudy (Calico) and Stormy (the black cat)

The girls are definitely headstrong while Stormy is shy and tends to hide behind his big sisters

(as a kaeya kinnie with three stray/outdoor cats, he gets them too)

Childe

From a family with lots of big dogs, like Great Pyrenees, Samoyed, and Tibetan Mastiffs

When he moved to Liyue for deployment and got super lonely, his subordinates weren’t super close to him and locals didn’t trust him as a Harbinger, he grew rather lonely

Till he went into the countryside to deal with some Treasure Hoarders and saw them using weasels and ferrets to carry contraband and money around without notice

What really sold him was watching a little kid in the camp playing with one and rubbing noses with it

The next day Ajax had two ferrets running around his apartment with the most expensive ferret setup money could buy

They are the most playful, feral things who love running around and play-fighting each other

Named Jayson and Lila, a pair of twins

(totally didn't name them after the stoats from Burrow’s End)

Loves them so much and plays with them throughout all of his free time

Leaves them to his assistant whenever he is away or is busy (who proceeds to give her hell)

They love it when he wears big coats/parkas so they can climb in and snuggle

Cyno

Didn’t have pets growing up

His first pet was on a mission as General Mahamatra, arrested some guy, went through his house for evidence, and found a severely malnourished and neglected Leopard Gecko

Some of his claws had fallen off to nubs due to layers of sheaded skin build up and he was cold to the touch from lack of heating.

The lizard curls up into his warm hands and it immediately melts the General Mahamatra’s heart

Immediately putting him back and picking up the cage, he leaves the rest of the investigation to his coworkers before rushing to Gandharva Ville

Scared Tighnari and Collei with how quickly he rushed in through the door with a giant glass terrarium.

Looks calm and collected but is sitting in the corner with Collei just staring at Tighnari and the lizard, internal panic on the inside

Once Tighnari gives an analysis, Cyno asks Nari to watch the lizard for a few days and he will come back for it

Proceeds to spend two days straight researching Leopard geckos and how to take care of them

Also blows a good portion of his paycheck on supplies for the gecko, a larger tank, lights, and heating pads, etc.

Picks him up and takes him home as soon as the terrarium is set up

Names him something dumb like “Geck” or a combo of his and Tighnari’s names like “Tighno”

Most people don’t know besides Tighnari and Collei that the gecko exists, and why would they? Who’s gonna believe that the General Mahamatra has a tiny lizard as a pet

When Alhaitham and Kaveh find out Cyno has a pet, Cyno immediately pulls out pictures from his wallet like a proud dad

Whenever he is away for a while, he has Collei house sit and take care of the lizard, pays her generously

Will just sit on top of Cyno’s head or shoulder and chill

Loves to chirp and make little noises for fun/comfort

(also a leopard gecko parent and my gecko is a rescue with all these attributes from being mishandled)

64 notes · View notes

whalefallogist · 7 months

Text

Was thinking about scum villain cats because of poorly-drawn-mdzs's warrior cats au (because I was and still am obsessed with the battle cats). I ended up thinking about a cat show svsss au. Or just general cat au.

Liu Qingge is a silver Egyptian Mau, Shen Yuan is a seal point Balinese, and Luo Binghe is an all-black Savannah kitten (though the others don't know that). They all live in the same apartment complex.

I might eventually write something with this premise. Or I'll just use it as motivation to get back into practicing how to draw cats. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

#svsss

70 notes · View notes

mamadarama · 22 days

Note

Kuro and Madara both seem like maine coons but Madara(and also Leo ) also give me calico vibes. Kuro also fits the norwegian forest cat.

Himeru is one of those freaky ass lanky oriental cats or a russian blue

Adonis is an egyptian mau or a siamese, Kaoru is an orange, Rei is a regular black cat but with weirdly shiny fur and Kouga is a cat who was raised by pitbulls and will not accept the reality that he’s not a pitbull

Keito is a regular european/domestic shorthair but with a weirdly green tint to it

I would say Mika is a khao manee due to the eyes but he is big eyed dark brown colored LaPerm( the specific image I have in mind is one of the pictures in The Cat Encyclopedia and I’m not even sure if it’s for that breed)

Tori is a munchkin

OK OKOK SO i actually already have breed hcs for everyone bc im so autistic abt cats i was gonna wait to talk abt them as i made the cat designs but progress is going really slow on those and now that someone is talking to me about it i cant make myself shut up . i agree with a lot of these !!! im just gonna go ahead and list all of my hcs though bc im insane (these are my somewhat realistic color hcs for what they would be if i didnt choose to make them all candy colored when i draw them lol)

(disclaimer: this is on appearance alone, not all these breeds and mutations are ethical, not all these colors actually appear in the breed stated or are combinations that dont exist, and some of these colors/breeds are extinct)

gonna put this under a readmore cuz its ...... a lot (i woulda added pics too but theres definitely way more than 10 cats here)

fine

eichi - ragdoll, cream point, important to note he is a purebred show cat

wataru - oriental longhair, blue bicolor harlequin

tori - munchkin/british shorthair, dilute calico

yuzuru - domestic shorthair (feral TNR), tuxedo, otter like coat texture

-------

trickstar

subaru - abyssinian, cinnamon

hokuto - american bobtail, black with blue undertones and low white

makoto - scottish fold, golden, non breed standard (longer face)

mao - ragamuffin, red with high white

-------

akatsuki

kuro - siberian, black smoke striped tabby

keito - domestic shorthair, brown mackerel tabby with low white

souma - japanese bobtail, brown broken mackerel tabby with high white

-------

eden

nagisa - maine coon, light gray sokoke tabby

hiyori - laperm, silver sunshine agouti with low white

ibara - chausie (feral), blue cream

jun - thai pisaat, black ticked tabby, kinked tail (pisaat characteristic)

-------

undead

rei - oriental longhair, black (looks brown in sunlight), long teeth (this isnt a mutation, some cats just have longer teeth than others— my design is inspired by mingus the panther, a black oriental shorthair that was popular on the internet for his huge fangs)

kaoru - turkish van, medium longhair, red chinchilla tabby/white

adonis - arabian mau, but with toyger coloration

koga - lykoi, dark gray/black roan, thinks hes a wolf due to being raised with dogs and the lykoi being known as the "werewolf cat"

-------

knights

leo - domestic shorthair, dense coat, medium white calico, long teeth

izumi - domestic shorthair, lilac striped tabby with low white

arashi - singapura, breed standard

ritsu - bombay, non breed standard (longer face) long teeth like rei but slightly shorter

tsukasa - ragamuffin, chocolate tabby with medium white, higher rufousing

-------

crazy:b

rinne - chausie, red grizzled tabby, high rufousing

niki - nebelung, non breed standard (shorter fur)

himeru - domestic shorthair, blue solid, small rounded ear mutation

kohaku - longhair american bobtail, sunshine lilac lynx point

-------

alkaloid

hiiro - chausie, red grizzled tabby (darker tabby than rinne), high rufousing

aira - ragdoll, cream point, non breed standard (shorter fur)

tatsumi - australian mist, silver spotted

mayoi - oriental siamese, seal tortie point, non breed standard (shorter face)

-------

rab*its

nazuna - somali, fawn, notably smaller than average

tomoya - domestic shorthair, fawn based caramel classic tabby

hajime - russian blue, breed standard

mitsuru - kurilian bobtail, chocolate solid

-------

valkyrie

shu - donskoy (brush), warm gray with white

mika - appears to be a kurilian bobtail, actually domestic longhair (medium), black heavy tortie, odd eyes and bobtail mutation (khao manee cats do have odd eyes, but can only be white. also mikas backstory lends itself to him being a randombred)

-------

2wink

theyre twins, so both are red classic tabby domestic shorthairs. theyre somewhat smaller than most cats .

-------

switch

natsume - domestic shorthair, red solid with minimal white

tsumugi - american wirehair, solid chocolate and white, non breed standard (longer fur)

sora - highlander, golden classic tabby with white, ringtail mutation

-------

ryuseitai

chiaki - havana brown, chocolate

kanata - turkish van, blue classic tabby/white

tetora - bengal/abyssinian, zorro mask charcoal bengal with high roufusing

shinobu - domestic shorthair, black/medium white spotted, somewhat short tail

midori - domestic (medium) longhair, fawn based caramel solid with white

-------

MaM and others

madara - maine coon, calico (my design for him is based off dawntreader texas calboy, a male calico maine coon that was the subject of controversy among cat show judges for being a genetic anomaly)

(madaras name actually means calico cat!! madara (斑) means spots and mikejima (三毛縞) means tricolored stripes, with "mike" often referring to calico and tortoiseshell cats. as a kid he also had the nickname "mikekun" in reference to his tendency to startle people by sneaking up on them silently like a cat)

anzu - british shorthair, chocolate tortie with medium white

jin - domestic (short) longhair (stray), dark gray, rough fur texture

akiomi - oriental longhair, fawn

kaname - british shorthair, blue solid, non breed standard (longer face)

#do NOT mention cats to me i WILL be insufferable #btw. i spent 3 hours on this #ask #anon #whiteboard #enstars cats #<- sure ill put this there

25 notes · View notes

centers-for-disease-control · 7 months

Text

#off the clock

60 notes · View notes

mcsm-catified · 7 months

Text

I may have pulled an episode six and thought “oh there aren’t too many characters in this episode, like three maybe”

No. Nope. Not at all.

World’s worst sports announcer. I don’t like him. Pretty cool villain though.

To make the Old Builders stand out a bit more, I made sure they wore more clothing than most cats. Harper does as well.

It turns out that wirehairs are one of the least friendly cat breeds, along with Egyptian Maus. So guess what Mevia is!

Wow who would’ve guessed! The evil sidekick herself. So sharp and pointy,,

She was originally going to be mostly black and red like her outfit, but that wasn’t working. I like this version much better. She looks so royal, but not in a good way.

Otto’s just kinda there, he’s chill. I don’t know how I managed to pull off making a fluffy cat bald but I did it somehow.

His blanket thing makes him look kinda like a tortoise, and I like that. Fits him perfectly.

Everyone’s favourite stoner girl! I wasn’t sure how to go about her fur, but I’m proud of what I came up with.

The armband is a marker of what team she’s on (green) but because of it I now headcanon Nell as aroace. And since I own this AU, it’s canon now. I feel powerful.

Em’s design went in a weird direction, but I don’t… hate it. It’s not horrible. Just kinda eh to me.

I like Slab’s speech near the end of the episode about bad bosses. It’s just absolutely hilarious how they write him out of the final battle. He could’ve just stood five steps away with you, where he already pushed you to, but nope. Get flattened by TNT. Great stuff.

Me: I can’t make cats blue and green that’s not realistic!!!

Also me: raspberry cats :D

She doesn’t do much but I think she’s cool. Clutch is such an awesome name.

Yeah, he’s uh… yeah. Facemeat is definitely not a looker. But that’s okay, because he can crack SKULLS!! And think about cracking MORE SKULLS!!!

Also did y’all ever notice that the insignia all the gladiators wear is actually a portal? I only saw that because I had to draw it. It’s neat.

49 notes · View notes

soyouareandrewdobson · 9 months

Text

Asians are all the same, right? The racism of a company cock gurgling moron

Like herpes and unlike the Dobbear, I am back baby.

At this point, deepest apology for my long absence. Personal issues over the last two years prevented me from writing anything and also destroyed for the longest time any desire to really continue the blog.

However, I don’t want to let things unfinished and seeing how the hypocricyofandrewdobson still manages to get some rise out of old Dobson related stuff, I wanted to just return, in order to properly contribute a bit more critical thinking in regard to his old comics.

And while I will not immediately return to my retrospective of SYAC, here is at least (for a start) my opinion on one comic of his, that in my opinion just proved hilarious and controversial in hindsight, and rather racist even back then.

I admit, I don’t know anymore what the title of the comic here is. All I know is, that it came out around 2018, shortly after the release of his “Black Panther” comic, another malignant piece of Dobtrash that has made the rounds online ever since. However, unlike the Black Panther comic, which became the center of a lot of discussion regarding Dobson’s racist assumptions about comic book fans while ironically trying to present himself as woke, this one was weirdly drifting off into obscurity. Which is kinda weird, cause in my opinion, it is way more racist and actually kinda insulting to the very craft Dobson supposedly “dedicated” his life to.

Let me explain.

First, over the course of three panels, Dobson comes essentially off like he is considering the medium of comics as inferior to the medium of movies. Making it look as if comics are unsuccessful because they cannot rail in the same amount of money than certain flics and calling them at best nothing more but a pitching ground for corporations to create new shallow mass product.

Now I am a bit of a realist and I know that, especially in the world of mainstream American superhero comics, this is kinda the case. Most comic book characters, stories and franchises are owned by multibillion dollar corporations, who either have a direct hand in the creation of the product (via corporate mandate for example) and/or use the likeness of the product to make profit in additional, more valuable revenues than the printed medium. Such as cartoons, merchandise and movies. One example I can think of, to show that it isn’t just an American issue: Yugioh. The card game wouldn’t have come to be if there hadn’t been a manga starring a little boy putting together an ancient Egyptian puzzle, but while the original manga ended way back in March of 2004, the card game makes millions globally still after 25 years and counting.

But that doesn’t change the fact, that comics as a medium still have value. Without the stories told within their pages, we wouldn’t have characters such as Captain America, Superman, the Mask, the Ninja Turtles and so on to begin with. Don’t get me even started on stories that aren’t falling into the American mainstream comic trend, but still succeeded in the printed comic medium partly because of genuine artistic and profound value such as Maus, Barefoot Gen, Watchmen, V for Vendetta, TinTin and a shitton of (other) stuff from Europe and Asia.

So when Dobson, who always acted like he is proud to be a cartoonist and that comics are a superior medium to others, suddenly reduces them to just being a “pitch ground for better stuff down the line” at best, I as a fan of the medium and just the art of creating stories in itself, get kinda pissed.

Additionally, the way how he compares movies to be better than comics, is severely flawed.

He brings up the fact, that “Captain America: Civil War” made over one billion dollars at the box office as an example, while pointing out the fact, that most single comic issues barely manage to sell 100.000 copies, while holding up a copypasted “Civil War” issue.

Already, Dobson essentially compares apples with bananas, while also giving both false and incomparable data, that also ignores many aspects to be considered.

For starters: He compares the earnings of both movies and comics with two different values. For movies, he goes by the monetary profit a superhero movie could possibly make, while for the comic issue, he goes by the total number of copies sold.

But here is the thing: Assuming the average selling price of a comic is at 4 dollars for a single 30 page issue, selling 100.000 copies would ring in like 400.000 dollars. And considering that producing one issue likely costs a company less than 20.000 dollars (obvious costs for mass production and distribution not withstanding) they can still make a decent profit this way from ONE issue alone. One issue. Not multiple issues of a long running, but sadly underperforming series. All of that by the way doesn’t even account for the fact, that most single issues at best tell only a quarter of a decent short story nowadays and ignores later “long term” factors, such as reprints of the issue, late term buying of the issue, tradepaperback sells of the issue, the longterm effect and cultural impact the issue may have on the actual series or plot continuity (such as Amazing Spiderman 122, aka “The Night Gwen Stacy Died”). Don’t get me even started on the fact, that many of these issues get first sold in the US and only over the course of one year or longer may then additionally be sold in other parts of the world, therefore bringing in even more money for the publisher.

Example: The Duck comics by Don Rosa, which earn more than four times more in Europe, than they ever did in America, despite the guy being from California. Finally, a a little add addendum: that example Dobson gives indirectly via the “Civil War” issue? A quick google search revealed, that Civil War issue 1 sold over 300k copies in May of 2006 alone. Sure, not necessarily the best numbers ever for a single issue (as evident by the following list: https://bookriot.com/bestselling-comics-of-all-time/ )but still nothing to be ashamed of.

And yes, I know that we live currently in a time, where comic book sells have dropped significantly for a variety of reasons, one of them being an overall lack of decent stories. But as long as other stuff still manages to run freaking circles around American superheroes (*cough* One Piece *cough*) I wouldn’t say the medium itself is dead. Just a specific branch of it is suffering from a lack of quality and the customers are jumping ship.

A superhere movie meanwhile is a completely different beast. Ever since “The Avengers” came out in 2012, most superhero movies are 150-250 million dollar behemoths, that get overhyped by advertisement campaigns that are almost equally as expensive and try to trick the audience into believing, that they all are somehow the next big mindblowing thing on the big screen. Plus there hasn’t really been a superhero movie in the last 10+ years, that didn’t release simultaneously worldwide, instead of only coming out in the USA, and then a few months later, in other parts of the world.

So is it any wonder then, if a superhero movie that got advertised like the second coming of a saint, makes 1 billion, when there are already billions of potential customers worldwide all at once when the product launches?

That number btw becomes actually less impressive, once you start to think about how it came to be. Something our blue bear obviously didn’t.

See, on average every movie theater demands like what, 12-14 dollars per movie nowdays?

If we divide the box office of Civil war (1.152 billion btw) with 12 dollars, that makes on average 100 million people worldwide who watched the movie. A bit more than one or two percent of the worlds population. Not to forget, that of the box office success we have to substract such things as production cost of the movie, advertisement, the earnings of the theaters… so suddenly the movie may at best have had only earned one quarter of its box office for Disney as actual profit.

Not to forget, Dobson made that comic in 2018, when superhero movies on average did ring in so much money, because of the hype machine. But now we have 2023 and within the last five years (and especially 2023 itself) we have seen how superhero movies can also utterly fail to make money or even earn just enough to make back the production cost. Birds of Prey, Eternals, Ant Man 3, that Secret Invasion streaming show that still cost over 200 million… Do I need to get on?

Bottom line, Dobson’s indirect jab at comics as the less profitable revenue doesn’t hold that much water really in the real world, where once the hype dies down, comics may actually prove themselves as the more valuable longterm medium. Even if it may just be for the fact, that they end up staying longer relevant in the popcultural subconscious than the current movies, which tend to lose relevance with each new hastily produced and released installment in the franchise.

But where this comic really shines and shows Dobson’s ignorance on a cultural level, is in the last panel. When all off sudden it turns “racial” by claiming that Asian people, unlike “traditional” comic readers (aka white, in Dobbear s eyes therefore instantly racist people), would eat a Marvel character like Amadeus Cho up.

Question Dobson: Why do you assume, they would eat him up? You give no real argument based on anything the character does storywise, that the “target audience” may find admirable. So I can only think, that your reasoning is, because he is ever so slightly east asian coded.

Boy, do we have to unpack not just a can of worms, but a whole package of cans now.

First, the chosen language by saying “eat it up”. When being a writer, you should know that you need at times to choose your words wisely, because of the sheer implications they can carry. And the statement “eat it up” sounds way to close to a negative statement like “suck it up”. Making it come off as if Dobson considers Asian people to be mindless cattle that will consume the grub the House of Mouse will give them without question or any desire for actual quality to it.

Second, it recks of a certain mind set I hate within the American entertainment industry and some of its creators and consumers. That mind set being, that “non-traditional” American cultures supposedly don’t know better than Americans in what is okay for the sake of representation and entertainment or not. It’s a mindset that goes beyond the necessity of e.g. localizing a foreign product to the national market, by e.g. creating a sterilized, corporately mandated and rather unrealistic depiction of another culture within their product, that will fall apart as soon as the people who are supposed to be represented get a proper look at it and realize, how pandering and often times badly researched, if not outright offensive, it is.

Only recently did we see in the world of animation how that can backfire, when Disney released the trailer for “Primos” an upcoming animated show supposedly about a half Latina girl spending her summer vacation with her annoying cousins, people calling it based on the intro (and a leaked pilot) pandering towards a latino audience in a racist manner. And guess what: currently, Disney shelves it and tries to bury its existence like Dobson his old inflation art.

youtube

Dobson himself has actually indulged in that sort of shit kinda, back with his infamous Nintendo comic.

Essentially calling the “true”, Nintendo corporation approved depiction of his childhood Nintendo heroes disgraceful, for not falling in line with the late 80s depictions he saw in localized, made in America products such as the DiC cartoons. That and minor homophobia mixed with misogyny by calling Link “girly” for having longer blond hair since Ocarina of Time and blaming fangirls for it.

Third, and that is kinda related to my prior point, the reality of things is, that “Asians” actually did not eat up that sort of thing in the last couple of years. Sure, there is always that thing about a Chinese market. the big movie companies try to pander to and may succeed with some dumb action flics featuring big robots.

But the reality is, that not even people living in a dictatorship will eat up every trash you give to them, just because it comes from Hollywood or is supported by their glorious leadership. Disney tried to create two pandering messes of movies for Chinese people to watch, called Mulan (the live action adaptation) and that Shang Chi movie. And how did they do there? Oh right! The government did not even allow Shang Chi to be released and Mulan was released but supposedly didn’t do so well, considering (COVID not withstanding) it only made 70 million globally!

Don’t get me even started on every human right controversy in relation to the later, starting with filming in China near a concentration camp and ending with the main actress being essentially a Chinese propaganda puppet.

youtube

So, if those movies flopped, why would Chinese people for example flock for an Asian Hulk? A hulk that is not even Chinese but Korean.

See, this is another issue that fails with the example: The actual choice of character Dobson name dropped is actually kinda terrible.

For those unaware: Amadeus Cho is a supporting character in the Marvel comics, created in 2005 by American writer Greg Pak and artist Takeshi Miyazawa. The later, despite the name being very east Asian, sounding, actually being from Canada. Now both do have east Asian roots so to speak (Pak e.g. is the son of an Korean-american man with a Caucasian woman), but they also have grown up within a society that taught them both western social values more so than we would see in east Asian countries. So with the creators already not necessarily having the most real life experience with the average mindset of a Korean citizen, can we really say that their actual creation helps “represent” those people of a foreign, non-american culture?

And that is not even covering stuff like the actual story of the character itself.

See, in the comics, Cho is supposed to be an American-Korean genius (wish fullfillment much, Greg?) and one of the smartest people in the Marvel Universe. His parents named him after Amadeus Mozart (a pretty white motherfucker as far as I remember) and he grew up under Methodist beliefs. So basically the “Korean heritage” of the character has already been thrown out of the window. Now I don’t expect the character to act stereotypical Korean, listen to K-pop, declare bulgogi to be his favorite dish or any of that shit. But when you want to sell me the character as being in some way or another connected to his ancestral culture, shouldn’t he engage at least in some “Korean coded” things?

I mean, the character of Anne Boonchuy in Amphibia is a Thai-American who acts more like a 13 year old girl that learns to be less selfish and impulsive over the course of the show and whose “heritage” isn’t thrown at us, the viewer, most of the time. In fact, Anne herself acknowledges that she e.g. can’t really speak thai, despite her own mother being fluent in it and a season 3 episode reveals, that Anne is “begrudgingly” a part of the L.A. thai community. And yet, in connection to the shows story and as part of Anne’s characterization, her heritage is acknowledged and plays a part of who she is. Even if it simply means she knows how to cook certain thai dishes, loves her parents and their customs, helps out in their restaurant, can speak a few words thai and knows the basics of Muay Thai, a form of martial arts (and fighting sport) from Thailand.

Amadeus doesn’t even have Korean parents anymore, because they were killed as part of his tragic hero backstory. Nor has he ever visited an Asian country. Oppps.

To build further up on it, Amadeus becomes for the longest time simply a major supporting character in the Marvel universe for the likes of Hulk and Hercules, two white coded characters. Sure, he plays a major role in the defeat of some cosmic horror level villains (such as Mikaboshi in the Chaos God storyline most people forgot even existed) but it takes a long time for him to become a “A-lister” so to speak.

In fact, according to Wikipedia, it wasn’t till after “Secret Wars” in 2016 (eleven years after the character was created), that Amadeus thanks to a chain of events eventually got his chance to Hulk out. And then they still had to kill Bruce Banner to make Amadeus “stand out” initially (don’t worry, Bruce came back. I mean, characters actually staying dead in comics, so that heroes can learn there are consequences? Preposterous) In fact, Amadeus hasn’t really proven himself as a decent “solo” act. Instead he became a member of the Champions (among Miles Morales, Mrs. Marvel, Vision’s daughter Viv. Nova and Cyclops), essentially creating yet another superhero team for teenaged vigilantes. Despite the fact, Cho himself should be by now in his mid 20s.

Now look, I do not want to shit talk the character. Partly because I haven’t read everything he was in myself and partly because in the few things I did see him in (both pre- and post Hulk) he was okay. He is a decent hero and person, who tries to do good, even if he screws up here and there. That is something I can admire in a character in general. But he is not a good “representation” of another culture, because his complexion and minor physical features aside, he is NOT embodying even minor values or traditions of that foreign culture. He is simply a Korean-American (or technically Canadian), who falls more on the American side of things.

So essentially, Dobson who virtue signaled on multiple occasions how bad it is when companies he didn’t like tried to speak on behalf of other cultures, would have no problem at all to ask for Asian people to swallow this obviously “Made in American” product. The “Made in America” line actually working both on a metaphorical and a storytelling level, cause trying to google what “east Asian coded” heroes in the Marvel Universe actually come from an Asian country instead of being simply born on American soil, is pretty damn small.

After 20 minutes I only found Shang Chi, as he was born in China, and that character was created as part of kung-fu exploitation in the 70s by white dudes.

Yaiks

However, none of that tops the next two points that really sell Dobson to me as an American centralistic racist. Or at least a twat who doesn’t understand how through bad wording he comes of as ignorant of other people’s cultures.

The way he generalizes Asian people in his statement, while also ignoring the actual accomplishments in the creation of entertainment in multiple Asian countries.

If you’ve read closely what I typed, you may have seen that I used the term Asian at times in tandem with the term “east Asian” to e.g. describe Amadeus Cho.

And that had a very deliberate reason. While I was not a fan of geography in school, even I know that Asia as a continent is not “nationally” as homogenous as let’s say Australia or North America. In fact, Asia is the biggest continent on the planet, hosts more than half of earth’s population and consists of at least 47 internationally acknowledged states.

States such as Turkey, Russia, Afghanistan, Pakistan, India, China, Japan, Malaysia, Thailand, Vietnam, North- and South Korea, Egypt, Israel, Iraq, Iran and so on.

Now what all these states have in common, is that they have their own unique historical, social and “racial” culture and background. Heck, religiously speaking, Asia is the cradle of the world.

As such, Dobson stating that a “Korean coded” character such as Amadeus Cho (who is only Korean on the most surface level and would technically just be a legacy character of yet another white person) would be an immediate hulk smash hit with all these different people of different backgrounds…. Yeah, it sounds like condescending, colonization inspired shit, a smooth brain would come up with.

To Dobson “Asia”, at least based on that comic, is only defined as the “yellow skinned” people from the far east, who like rice, noodles, spicy food and give us anime, Godzilla, fireworks, buddhism and communism. It does not include anyone from the middle east or of more European ancestry. And if you are even remotely familiar about history, you would also know that Japanese, Koreans and Chinese all around do not e.g. like to be thrown into a pot with the others for a variety of reasons. Many of them political.

Or to sum it up even shorter: Dobson insinuated that a very shallow, “east Asian” coded American comic character would be an immediate hit with more than 47 different countries, ignoring that not all of them share the same background despite being part of the “same” landmass. And in doing so, he simultaneously generalized and denounced entire groups of people based on their racial and cultural background, which in as far as I am aware of, is considered racist.

But the “racism” is supposedly justified, because “representation” matters, it would be giving the middle finger to “traditional” comic fans and those nations and their culture are underrepresented globally.

Which is baloney.

Don’t get me wrong, I myself think that representation does matter. But the world does not necessarily rely on the good old US-Ayy only to give it to us.

Cause a lot of the Asian nations I brought up here? They have their own entertainment industry and stories, which again, get ignored by Dobson to make a dumb and false point.

I mean, manga is currently dominating the international comic market, all while Japan has also a booming animation industry and some of the most iconic heroes in modern popculture with the likes of Son Goku, Kamen Rider, Super Sentai etc.

China has a prominent -if propaganda driven- movie industry.

India has Bollywood and delivers some of the most ridiculous but awesome musical movies on the planet.

youtube

Russia had authors such as Tolstoy and movie directors, that redefined the “art” of filmmaking.

Korea had a few years ago one of the biggest streaming hits with Squid Game, while also earning an Oscar for a movie titled Dobs- I mean “Parasite”.

Egypt, Iran, Iraq, Turkey… even nations that have not entertainment living up to “western standards” still produce stuff in some way or form to entertain the masses and their people. Just google up the character Kara Murat aka the avenger of Anatolia.

And don’t get me even started on the sheer ton of mythology, stories and history each of their cultures have provided the world with. Journey to the West? Baba Yaga, the entirety of the Gilgamesh epos...

And yet, there is this indirect assumption by Dobson, that all of them would be so deprived of “heroes” in their media and folklore, they would letch on second hand shop Hulk? Fuck off, Dobbear. I know you like to suck corporate cock as long as you think they are woke and you have childhood nostalgia for them, but this is pathetic. Take Amadeus before A Rama Raju comes around and roundhouse kicks him back to Canada. Then get the taste of mouse smegma of your Disney cock gobbling lips.

#adobsonartwork #syac #hypocrisyofandrewdobson #amadeus cho #racisim #mcu #tom preston #andrew dobson #i am back #back again #guess who's back #Youtube

63 notes · View notes